#people refuse to think critically whenever something like this happens and then wonder why they keep happening

[finneander]

Just my two cents as someone who is not American and doesn't usually talk about this kinda shit cause I've been thinking about it, the reaction to the Nashville shooting is one of the least self-aware things I've ever seen

Yes, the shooter did a horrible, inexcusable thing and got what was coming to him. But people don't just shoot up schools and kill children for the hell of it. And I don't wanna go and be all 'But how does this affect me?' about the deaths of children but like. I'm gonna hazard a guess and say the moral panic and disgusting responses about him being trans, as well as disingenuous media reporting him as an MTF instead /probably/ has something to do with why someome constantly being ostracised, villified and marginalised by society may eventually have serious mental problems that lead to them committing violent acts, and maybe if society was a lot kinder and understanding to people with underlying mental issues instead of acting like mental illness of any sort is inherently Bad and Shameful then we'd see a lot less shootings

[aestherin]

KEEP MY HEART

goal 30: something wrong

NOTES: this took longer than i thought 💀 anw it was more tamed than i imagined omg yay!! ^^

Scaramouche thought the car ride home was plenty suffocating, but nothing could compare to how heavy the air was once he got home with his mother.

An extensive home that is reasonably far from other neighboring houses, with a spacious lot surrounding the house itself. It could've been such a perfect home — if not for the two broken people living in it.

As his mother remained silent while the two of them exited the car, Scaramouche thought he had at least the whole night to prepare for his mother's outburst. Alas, they haven't even made it to the front door yet, and he had already started hearing something.

"Kunikuzushi."

He merely turned to her, not even saying a word.

"Just what happened?" Scaramouche could not get something from his mother's voice at all. She wasn't yelling — it would be out of character for her to do so anyway. But she obviously wasn't happy either. But at least it wasn't that cold, too?

At a loss for words, the young man forced himself to focus his gaze on one random thing, perhaps the grass peacefully lying on their front yard.

'I'll just have to let her say anything and everything she wants to say, and I'll say nothing. And then tomorrow, we'll just continue like nothing happened,' he thought.

And so he did, letting his mother's words pass through one ear to the other. 'How can you let yourself play like that', 'how can you allow people to see you like that', 'just what would they say about you now', 'this isn't what we trained for'... Nothing he wasn't used to. It was all alright. He can go through another sermon session just fine.

Until he was knocked out of his stupor by a certain statement from his mother.

"Perhaps I should've gotten between you and that companion of yours I saw in the freedom wall. I think she is distracting you, maybe you should stay away from her."

A sudden surge of rage came over him, prompting him to finally meet eyes with his own mother. Ei was slightly taken aback, not used to receiving such a hateful look from her one and only son.

"What?"

The woman could not utter a response, still in shock at the state her son is in. She was so used to him being so indifferent whenever they talk, making it seem as if her advices and sermons have no effect at the slightest.

Meanwhile, Scaramouche, at the lack of response from his mother, could not stop himself anymore.

Scaramouche felt like a balloon — thinned, worn out, and keeping too much inside.

Much more than he could handle.

And his mother's words that night felt like a sharpened needle.

"Why the fuck do I always have to do what you tell me?" He finally snapped.

"What?"

"Can't you see that I'm trying?! And yet you always see something!" Scaramouche gritted his teeth.

"You always see something to criticize! You always see something like a flaw! You always see something wrong!" He yelled, shortly followed by a bitter laugh. "Heck, maybe you even consider my birth to be something wrong."

A swift slap cut him off.

Somehow, the physical pain inflicted by his mother got him out of his continuous outbursts, replacing his seething anger with shock. No matter how cold and strict his mother was, she had never gotten physical with him.

Refusing to believe what just happened, a wondering Scaramouche looked back up to his mother's face — only to see her eyes dripping and her cheeks stained.

'Are those tears?'

'My mother... crying?'

"How could you say something like that Kunikuzushi?"

"How can you treat your life so lightly like that?" Ei sobbed. "Your birth wasn't something wrong — it was the most beautiful thing that happened to me."

The young man just stared at her, probably in disbelief.

"You are my son, a part of me, something even more important than myself —"

"— and that's why I never wish to see you hurt."

"Hah," Scaramouche scoffed. "Really?"

The man could not do anything but laugh ironically. She doesn't want to see him hurt, she says?

'I hate to break it to you mom, but you've been doing that for so long.'

How many lies would she feed him tonight?

"I don't want you to suddenly commit a mistake while playing, put yourself to shame, and be unnecessarily criticized and judged heavily." The purple-haired woman said. "And if that happens? Then what? You'll be so affected by all the backlash, and then you'll finally lose yourself?"

Scaramouche swore he never expected to see his mother cry so hard. In fact, crying was one of the things he thought his mother was incapable of doing. But what was she saying?

Where is she getting all this from?

"What?"

"I don't want anyone precious to me to ever experience that again."

"What the heck are you talking about, mom?"

It was a slip of the tongue, unconsciously going back to what he once used to call the woman in front of him. A slip of the tongue that he failed to catch, but did not go past his own mother, whose memories of the days when he used to call her 'mom' flashed by her eyes.

But before she could even explain herself, someone else made their presence known.

"Your mother had a sister, you see."

It was Yae.

His mother's old friend.

“Have you ever heard of Makoto?” The pink-haired lady asked. Scaramouche could not see the relevance of her question, but he decided to humor her nonetheless. “Who?”

“My twin sister.”

“You had a sister?!”

Scaramouche thought he knew a lot about his mother. But really, is he even qualified to say that he knew her if he knew nothing about her past before having him? Everything he knew about Ei were memories of them together. Her being a loving mother to him when he was little, her having Yae as her only friend, her suddenly changing her parental practices once he started his soccer career — all of them were memories of her after his existence.

Only now did he realize he never knew anything about his mother’s past.

Yae sighed. “How is he ever going to understand if you never told him about Makoto, Ei?”

“It’s too dark of a story. He might not be able to handle it.”

“And you think he can handle your coldness and strictness forever?”

“What, do you want me to discourage my son from his dreams of being a top soccer player by telling him that my twin sister fucked up on a game just once, got so many backlash and became the people’s punching bag, went depressed up to the point that she couldn’t handle it anymore and eventually lost herself?” Ei spat out. “I don’t want to scare him off from achieving his dreams, but I can’t also risk the possibility of him having the same experience as my sister.”

What the fuck?

Merely processing the things he was hearing already required so much from the young man. He could not bear to disturb the conversation between the two ladies, lest there are still some things he should hear.

“So you set high expectations for him?”

“It was the only way I thought of.”

“Have you ever considered the thought that you yourself may actually be ruining his dreams for him?”

“What?” Ei turned her gaze to Scaramouche for a moment, allowing her to once again notice the state that her son was in. Trembling hands clenched into fists, focused yet glossy eyes, and brows furrowed — she couldn’t tell if they were out of fury or confusion. Perhaps it was both.

“You are making your son hate that dream of his that you sought to protect with the way you are treating him, Ei.” Yae walked towards the young man and lightly tapped his shoulder. “What this kid wants is to have fun playing, not play under constant expectations and strictness from his mother.”

Scaramouche looked up at her, who only smiled at him in return. “Isn’t that right, Kunikuzushi?”

He turned his face away from her and immediately swatted her hand from his shoulder. “What would you know about what I want?”

“Oh? But was I wrong?” She grinned. “No response? I must’ve been right then.”

“Shut up.”

“You’re just salty I’m right.”

“I am not?” The guy scowled. “Stop making things up you annoying hag —“

“Uh, excuse me?! What hag?!”

A certain purple-haired woman remained all throughout the banter between her son and her friend. When was the last time her son spoke to her without reservations like that? No, when was the last time they even had a proper conversation, one where he isn’t replying with words not even amounting to a handful?

“Ei, I want to ask you something.” A voice brought her out of her trance. “How do the other players on your team look whenever they practice and play?”

“Tired.” Ei described exactly how the boys on the team looked whenever they were on the field. Their whole beings drenched in sweat, their limbs trembling, their breaths hurried.

But despite everything, she remembered that they were having fun.

“But were they having fun?”

“They were.”

“And how does your own son look whenever he’s on the field?”

For the first time that night, absolute silence reigned over their abode’s front yard.

“See?” The pink-haired woman smiled. “Don’t you want Kunikuzushi to have the same experience as everybody else on your team?”

For the first time, Scaramouche heard the two words he thought he would never ever hear coming out from his mother’s mouth.

“I’m sorry.”

KEEP MY HEART — scara x reader smau

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[cath-lic]

Hello, I was wondering if you believe non-Christians can be saved? I know many Catholics believe everyone that doesn't accept Jesus will go to hell. Personally, I find this outlook very sad and I was curious on other points of view so please anyone respond with their own opinions. I mean to ask you this: If God is love and is forgiving of our sins, why would he send everyone to hell simply because they could not find their way to him?

hi!! YES absolutely everyone is saved!! now, everyone and their brother has a conflicting opinion on this, but i’ll throw in my two cents.

my first, more concrete point: john 3:16. the everyman’s verse!!

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

okay, but what if someone doesn’t believeth? vatican ii’s lumen gentium, no. 16, also covers this. (italics added by me)

Those also can attain to everlasting salvation who through no fault of their own do not know the gospel of Christ or his Church, yet sincerely seek God and, moved by grace, strive by their deeds to do his will as it is known to them through the dictates of conscience. Nor does divine Providence deny the help necessary for salvation to those who, without blame on their part, have not yet arrived at an explicit knowledge of God, but who strive to live a good life, thanks to his grace.

however, it’s important to note LG no. 14. bear with me here.

Whosoever knowing that the Catholic Church was made necessary by God through Jesus Christ would refuse to enter her or to remain in her could not be saved.

i’m not a theologian, i’m just joe off the street—so i may be taking things out of context. forgive me!

however—as much as i am catholic, i believe that this is putting WAY too much importance on the catholic church as we know it today. it is far, far different than the original organization founded upon the rock of st. peter, and i believe that there are many things that god takes issue with in the catholic church (notoriously, jesus criticized large institutions like these). therefore, i don’t know how much i believe that the catholic church today, nor as a whole, was made necessary by god through christ.

my second point: my most fervent belief is that god is love. pretty much all of my friends are atheists, and they are kind and caring and loving people. it is, therefore, impossible for me to believe that they are not saved.

my second-and-a-half point: i take a little bit of issue with your phrasing of “send” to hell.

personally, i believe that hell is not necessarily Dante’s inferno, but a place of complete and total separation from god. i also believe that hell is not a place you are sent to, but rather a place you send yourself.

i mentioned purgatory in my earlier answer to a different anon; this is where that comes in. i generally concur with pope francis when he says that he likes to think of hell as empty (note: he was not issuing doctrine here). i believe that in purgatory, 99.999% (you get it) of people, if not 100%, are able to reconcile with god and see the consequences of their decisions, good and bad, throughout their life.

you know when you tell someone something that is true, but they keep on rejecting it, no matter what evidence you show them? that’s what i imagine is happening to the other .001%.

god is endlessly patient; he doesn’t mind spending eons trying to convince others to have empathy for their fellow man. however, humans are not as patient. they get fed up and walk away—and this is my (limited) understanding of the process of going to hell.

i’ll be honest, i don’t know if hell is permanent, temporary, etc. i’m not sure how helpful it is to debate it, either. but what i do know is very helpfully summarized in this post by the lovely hymnsofheresy.

whenever i have doubts about some aspect of what i believe being incorrect, i remind myself that god is love. he loves us more than anything in the world, and nothing we can do will ever change that. he doesn’t look for reasons for you to go to hell; he wants to be with us all the time.

thank you for sending in this ask, and i hope it helped ❤️❤️❤️

[nono-bunny]

Here's something to consider: Do you think Bryke were kicked out of Netflix's LA ATLA because they were toxic during the whole set? I saw an article on Instagram saying they were fired because they were unproductive, hard to deal with, and were rude most of the time. I sincerely BELIEVE that this is what happened to cause them to leave, because of how you heard all of Mike's jerk ramblings on things (Zutara) and how he and Bryan were praised for the show. I'm thinking Bryke couldn't handle the criticism and Netflix wanted something different to the story but still wanted to keep the story of Avatar intact. Which makes you think...what could make Bryke so adamant about not wanting to change anything? Was it scenes, moments...relationships? Ever since the trailer came out, everything looks fantastic. So WHAT could be so different that made Bryke act like the way they did?

Something to think about. ;)

Thank you for the ask, some interesting points here!

So first of all, I haven't really been active on Instagram since they killed the chronological feed a couple of years ago, so I obviously have no clue what the article you're talking about is and how true it is, but. Yeah, I'd believe that lol, wouldn't be in any way out of character for what I've heard of them and for the rep they've built up over the years

As much as the guests on the podcast are constantly talking about how good at managing the show they were, you also get a very real sense of how rigid they actually are in terms of listening to other people's ideas when they go against their initial ones, even if they would make the show better. Something that really stood out to me is how many times other people are credited for all of the best parts of the show- Zuko's arc being great had nothing to do with them, Iroh's personality was different from what they initially wanted, Toph being a blind girl rather than a huge dudebro (I don't remember if he was also blind or not but like. Regardless they weren't the ones to come up with the Toph we know and love at all)... All of these are things that they've basically admitted to be changes proposed by other people, which they initially resisted. Like!!! They legitimately cannot take the credit for the show's best parts, because they're shit writers- but they have a massive ego because they've been constantly getting praise for shit they didn't do for years. Genuinely they sound like nightmares to work with!!! The cavalier way they dismiss people all the fucking time whenever they disagree with them is just. Really weird for show creators imo, and the way they keep milking the franchise even though they've long since run out of any good ideas- or, really, the ability to execute them in a way that works... Those two fuckers barely worked on anything else worth remembering/noting, so they just keep coming back to the thing that worked once and wondering why they can't get it to work again- and the answer is that they were never the reason why it worked, and they refuse to accept that

As much as I love the original show, it's also incredibly flawed and imo needed many many changes to be deserving of the perfect image it seems to have, and like? I'm genuinely hoping that the changes Netflix make are along those lines rather than like... Sensationalizing it with gratuitous violence or whatever. Zutara would be great, obviously, but... Yeah mostly I just don't want Kataang, and like. I'm being 100% serious when I say that I'm gonna wait for other people to watch the show first so I know if it happens or not, because if it does- I'm just not gonna bother with it.

[akito-shinonome-daily]

For the ask game !

I'm giving you the opportunity to write the longest Akito rant of your life. 24, 25, and if you still have some 22 left then I'll take some as well.

➥ idk if this is my longest rant ever, especially considering i am known to hit discord’s character limit multiple times over in the same rant. that being said, this did get quite long, so i’m throwing my responses under the cut

22.) Give us a headcanon for Akito.

➥ this is kinda headcanon kinda just extrapolation of canon, but i love protective akito who refuses to admit it.

akito moving where he’s standing to block the wind from hitting kohane or the sun from getting in her eyes. he just doesn’t like standing still that’s why he moved. and he’s not making sure she sticks next to him in a crowd, she’s the one that choose to follow him.

akito showing up to class with an extra hoodie just coincidentally. he definitely didn’t notice fact that an happened to have gotten her sweater wet and was cold without it. and he definitely doesn’t care either way if she takes his extra.

akito redirecting the conversation when someone is too pushy or nosy to toya and he’s too polite to protest. and it’s not like he did it intentionally, he just thought of something else he wanted to say.

akito shooting his father dirty looks whenever he’s too critical or aggressive to ena, but making sure she never notices. his dad certainly won’t tell.

➥ if anyone were to point it out, he’d deny it, but he cares very deeply for his loved ones. sometimes he talks to meiko about it, since she seems to be so good at being comforting up front. and she ensures him that he is plenty caring, he just doesn’t do it in the same way

24.) What's your favourite thing about Akito?

➥ while i do love his voice, i think it would just have to be his passion and determination. i am jealous that he has this long-term goal to work towards that’s he’s incredibly passionate about, that he enjoys enough to work thru struggles, and that he has really good friends he’s working towards it with. i tend to feel kinda directionless and hide from the future, so i just really admire him and i wish i could be more like that. so maybe that’s why i made this blog? to try to be more like him? damn. 200 days and i’m finally figuring out why i decided to do this lmao.

25.) What's your least favourite thing Akito said or did?

➥ there’s two things that come to mind right away. one is i wish he’d stop teasing tsukasa but scaring him with insects. like he doesn’t have to look up to tsukasa, but he could at least try to be cordial.

➥ the other thing—the one that is going to prompt a very long rant—is Akito in the vbs main story. and why i think he acts the way he does.

i guess the most factual answer to that question is the writers wanted more conflict in story, but like why as a character did akito act like that.

the initial “an amateur/someone uncommitted shouldn’t go around claiming they’re going to surpass rad weekend” sentiment does seem to be pretty common on vivid street. we see it with both arata and taiga, and we know that when akito was younger he was not always treated very well by the residents of vivid street. it wouldn’t be unreasonable to assume that some of this was also people being upset about a random middle schooler running around claiming he’s going to get better than radder. akito may have proved himself over time, but he is still considered somewhat of an outsider to vivid street. so i could see him saying the same thing that was said to him to kohane to make him feel more like he fit in.

side tangent: i wonder how much of this sentiment comes from many of the older residents (particularly taiga) knowing about the significance of rad weekend to nagi, and since akito and the kids don’t even know nagi is dead, of course they’re not going to treat rad weekend with that type of reverence. to them it was always just a really epic show, they don’t know that it was nagi’s swan song or understand all the baggage that goes with that.

OK, OK, back to akito. iirc, akito’s comments to kohane (and an) are not terribly aggressive at first? sure akito is a bit skeptical of kohane and is definitely poking at her to see her response, but i don’t really see his threats to out-perform the vivids as too much more than a kind of joking rivalry that he and an probably already had going to an extent.

the big thing to me that i really had to think about to come to an understanding is why akito claims he cut the power. he doesn’t seem to be particularly fond of mita. they’re obviously well acquainted, but it’s also pretty clear they’re not seeing eye-to-eye.

mita’s decision to cut the power was probably driven by the same reasons as akito. he learned from the people of vivid street that when someone who’s not someone claims they’re going to be better than rad weekend, you put them down. obviously pulling the plug on their performance was a bit extreme, but based on how harsh arata/taiga are in their initial appearances, a kid who’s trying really hard to prove himself and fit it could definitely go too far whilst trying to prove himself.

akito claiming he pulled the power is definitely a spur of the moment decision. once again, iirc, an is accusatory when she catches the bad dogs confronting mita, and even tho i don’t recall rn exactly the way everything plays out, someone like akito who has grown up in a family with a lot of volatile personalities, wouldn’t hesitate to jump to a defense. that defense being “well you guys deserved it.” obviously isn’t a very good one, but like i’ve said, i think there’s enough evidence to suggest that these kids were taught that to fit in on vivid street, you have to prove yourself and put people who think they’re better than they are down.

in akito’s mind, taking the blame for cutting the power was basically like lying for street cred, and it helped him prove his same point. akito is a deeply passionate and determined person. and this is so central to his identity that he dislikes disingenuous or unmotivated people. maybe he sees it a bit as a personal attack.

➥ point is, while ultimately shit-talking to kohane and taking the blame for cutting the power were rude/bad decisions, i don’t think they were ooc for akito. do i wish he had not been a dick? yes. don’t ask me how akito ended up as my fav when i’m not actually a huge fan of seeing him be an asshole. i do enjoy when he’s playfully antagonistic to some like an or ena (or toya to an extent) who will dish it back to him, but i don’t usually enjoy akito being an asshole just for the sake of it. he should either know the other person with give him back what he deserves, or the person should actually deserve it. i would love to see akito get to fist fight someone who’s actually asking for it.

[mekatrio]

ok gushing abt the best thing ever aka case 4

was not expecting maya to get kidnapped at all... it was rly shocking to see phoenix completely lose his composure when he learned that she was kidnapped, bc this was the first time tht had ever really happened. throughout the game we had seen him act differently than usual whenever edgeworth was brought up, refusing to acknowledge him and even going as far as to snap at franziska. but to see him completely lose it and become so so panicked.. THAT WAS AWESOME!!! it was very suspenseful and unnerving in the best way like GRAGHHHHH and with some New Music too.. and it was really just emotional to see wright be so panicked and at his wit's end so many times throughout this case :( it did a really excellent job at solidifying just how much maya and phoenix mean to one another..🥲 and i was really touched by maya's (and pearl's!) unwavering faith that phoenix would save her 😭

phoenix's outburst at edgeworth was so surprising to me!!! i had absolutely no idea what edgeworth's return wouldve been like and how phoenix would react to him, but i was definitely not expecting FOR HIM TO SAY HE WISHED HE WAS DEAD LIKE BRO!!!!! but it does make sense for him to react this way, hes so fucking stressed abt maya its crazy, and edgeworth just returns smug af and speaking in riddles 💢 wright's reaction also gets further explained much later where its shown that in his grief and anger, he dealt with this loss by rationalizing that edgeworth had ran away bc phoenix dented his perfect record, and thats why he says it wouldve been better for edgeworth to have stayed dead; bc to cope, he had to characterize edgeworth as a coward. and 1.) i think its so interesting that we dont understand this until near the end, meaning we as players are left clueless abt phoenix's emotional state and 2.) THIS GIVES HIM SO MUCH DEPTH and further shows us how phoenix deals with loss, my personal interpretation w the info i have is that i think this motherfucker can barely deal with loss at all, and he had to believe that edgeworth was a coward who ran away rather than a victim of suicide or something, otherwise he wouldve lost it completely. but its open-ended enough tht it can be interpreted in a variety of ways WHICH IS AWESOME!!!! WOW!!!!!! The gradual unravelling of his emotional state is just SOOO FUCKING GOOD WHWHAHHS

speaking of edgeworth, bc he made an appearance so early in the case (i wasnt expecting him to be here day 1), i had wondered what role he would be fulfill, since we already have our prosecutor franziska.... AND THEN SHE GOT SHOT?!?!? AND EDGEWORTH IS OUR PROSECUTOR AGAIN?!?!? the stakes increased like fucking crazy.... both trial days were so good, 2nd one is my fave for reasons ill state later but this first one was still good too, bc i truly wasnt sure whether my client was guilty or not.. usually theres a more likelier culprit or the game just straight up shows the actual killer, but this time around it was so woahh cuz like andrews was very obviously lying which conveniently frames her as the killer, but then like maya got kidnapped and why would she be kidnapped if engarde is innocent.. also the fact that we needed to wrap this trial up in One Day was STRESS and then towards the end suddenly WHAT andrews is saying she isnt guilty?!?! randomly accusing people of murder is actually.. a bad thing to do?!?!? (<- sarcasm ive been criticizing phoenix for this this entire time) but yeah i was legitimately blindsided by the fact tht andrews was saying she wasnt guilty, it rly was a wake-up call for me and mr. wright cuz in every past case, unraveling inconsistencies brought us to the truth, and here we did that again, but in the panic to free maya, we didnt make our assumptions as airtight as it possibly could be and we basically almost fucking... punished an innocent person which is. insane. more on this (wright's manner of defense getting criticized) later..

also i was worried that id have to use andrews' mental illness against her to save maya which wouldve been a terrible terrible thing to do. luckily edgeworth is way edgier than i ever thought he could be and like a goddamn bastard he revealed her illness to everyone so i didnt have to. and yes towards the end that helps everyone including andrews, but at the time that was fucking FUCKEDDD up of him. my god. another note abt edgeworth, my memory is imperfect so maybe this isnt true at all, but in this trial it really did feel like edgeworth had changed a lot. like he actually gave wright multiple turns to speak, didnt rush the verdict, and when he saw wright's panic, he actually helped to prolong the trial..... like omg. hes no longer a von karma!!! THAT IS EPIC!!! but yes first trial day was crazily amazing, and when it ended with a new sprite of phoenix with his head in his hands that was really :((((( like that actually surprised tf out of me and made me so sad......

ok time to talk abt narumitsu. in this universe where every character behaves so over the top, more reigned-in and subtle emotional reactions tend to be much more striking and its bc of this reason that i find the interactions between wright and edgeworth to be soo compelling.. like its hard to explain cuz these guys do have their dramatic af moments, what with the way they are in court + faking suicide + phoenix's outburst, but their interactions are still grounded in a degree of subtlety, they dont have emotionally charged shouting matches or weep openly or whatever, and when they do lose composure, theres a gradual build-up to it. what im basically saying is that im a huge fan of the restraint in their relationship, i think it makes for an extremely interesting and enticing dynamic and their interactions in this last case was just so so good bc of this, phoenix is clearly still angry yet edgeworth is clearly trying to help him, and even tho hes still pissed wright accepts his help bc they are adults who have a job to do and its only towards the very end do they properly air out their feelings like Yesssss i love this. also!! i really liked how their roles have swapped around in this game, in the first game phoenix was saving edgeworth; he helped him realize the errors of his ways and later defended him when edgeworth was on trial, and now in this game edgeworth is returning the favor, and is making phoenix realize the error of HIS ways and is helping him to save maya... like that is GROWTH!!! and of course the way their rejection towards one another has swapped too, first game had edgeworth rejecting us and putting us down cuz we're rookies, and this time around wright is the one rejecting edgeworth cuz he thinks hes still a petty perfection-driven lawyer. but they still manage to bypass these presumptions and save one another. it came back full circle in such a great way that im like so satisfied with it to a point tht im curious if edgeworth will even do anything in the next game bc like is there anything more to be said and done??

moving on, 2nd trial is easily my favorite trial so far bc of how its such a subversion of everything ive came to expect from these trials, mia's wisdom of believing in your client no longer holds steadfast but i cant just out my client cuz 1.) i am a goddamn defense attorney and 2.) maya's life is being held ransom. and also like we have to prolong this trial for as long as possible so the cops can search for maya but we also cant just throw shit around and get penalties, we have to defend our client who we know is guilty but we cant defend him TOO well or andrews is going to the fucking gallows, god andrews... when i accused her AGAIN i prayed that she would beat the fuck out of me and edgeworth after the trial bc this poor innocent woman.. we have been putting her thru hell. and also like god wright's and edgeworth's roles has essentially been swapped around w the way i have to accuse an innocent person and edgeworth has to be the one to protect her like its CRAZY!!!! its mind games on mind games on mind games and everything is topsy turvy and so intense and still manages to be funny with phoenix throwing the phone across the goddamn courtroom but also sad with him breaking down towards the end and the TENSION with waiting for gumshoe to arrive with the evidence and FRANZISKA VON KARMA SAVING THE DAY like this last case was a such masterclass in pacing, every fucking beat just hit so precisely it was SUCH a good experience... WOAHHHH!!!

and ofc ive mentioned this already but seriously this case touched on everything i had wanted this series to touch on its like it read my mind or something hello....

like theres almost nothing i need to add on bc this case practically spelled everything out omg. throughout these past 2 games ive been giving phoenix shit for just randomly accusing witnesses of being perpetrators, and like i get it this is what phoenix has to do, bc he lives in a world where the justice system is so fucked up that people get accused w the filmiest of evidence and phoenix really does need to find the actual perpetrator to free his client, i get it. but in doing so we run the risk of accusing another innocent person of something they didnt do, bc a lot of the time we're accusing these people without decisive evidence. and thats what nearly happened in this case with ms andrews, she was innocent but we almost damned her for something she didnt do, which is greatly ironic considering that a large reason why phoenix became a lawyer was bc he was saved from a false conviction (a class trial, but still).

and the reason phoenix does this (this = somewhat baselessly accusing others of being guilty), is bc of what mia had taught him: to believe in your client. because our client is innocent, another party must be guilty. this is how we've handled every case so far. so during this engarde case, where we learn that our client actually is guilty, and phoenix starts to lose his mind… edgeworth tells wright his most vital lesson yet: that they are not heroes, they are lawyers.

brief mini tangent b4 i circle back to this idea of being a lawyer rather than a hero: while i was wrapping up that miserable experience of a third case, i was wondering to myself what the overarching message of this game would be. the only thing thts really been tying these past three cases together have been edgeworth's disappearance, compared to the first game which hinted at narumitsu's shared backstory + dl-6 which it then had its climax with. so obviously edgeworth will play a big role in this last case… but then what? what is he going to do? what message will he deliver? i didnt have a clue, and then the final case rolled in and the overarching message it delivered was this: being a lawyer isnt about saving people, nor is it about being a hero. this is why mia's belief of 'believing in your client' falls short, bc simply 'saving' someone bc u believe in their innocence isnt enough. otherwise, this would mean that those that we believe are guilty arent deserving of a defense, which is why wright was so conflicted upon learning of his client's crime. but this isnt what being a lawyer is about, instead its as edgeworth had said;

what it means to be a lawyer is to defend/prosecute to the best of your ability, regardless of your whether you believe the defendant is guilty or not. it means to have faith in the opposing party, and that if your claim is a false one, said opposing party will expose the faults in your claim. and as to whether the defendant is truly guilty or not, that can only be decided once both prosecution and defense have unveiled the truth together. this is what it means to have a fair trial, what it means to be a lawyer: it is about having faith in the ability of the opposing party, it's about being able to trust others. this is what edgeworth had learned in the year tht he's been gone, and is now here to teach to phoenix.

in this last case, wright finally learns what it fucking means to be a goddamn lawyer, what it really means to be a defense attorney. wright is able to defend engarde, despite knowing that he is guilty, bc he has faith in edgeworth's prosecuting abilities. it is thru their trust in one another that they were able to prolong the trial long enough for franziska to arrive with decisive evidence. as a lawyer, wright must be capable of defending even those who he believe may be criminals, bc a proper defense, fair trials, and justice, isnt something that can just be cherry-picked and handed out to select individuals. true justice is something that everyone deserves. justice… is.. for all…

JUSTICE FOR ALL!!!!!

this, of course, can only happen in a fair and just world, where neither defense or prosecution is corrupt with say, forged evidence and fabricated testimonies or whatever, and an unbiased judge. this world is clearly not ace attorney's world, nor is it our non-fictional world. but i still find it so remarkable that in this fictional world where the judicial system has been perverted nearly beyond recognition, these characters were still able to deliver this semblance of truth, and illustrate the purpose, function, and importance of a fair trial. i really do love it when stories use exaggerated and absurd environments to convey messages which are deeply relevant to our own world. and i find it especially neat how in the first game, it was the prosecutors who were being scrutinized; von karma's and lana skye's fabrications being brought to light, with edgeworth closely trailing behind the footsteps of these two. but this time around its the defense being scrutinized, with both phoenix's and mia's unwillingness to properly defend engarde coming back to bite them several times.

another neat thing is that i really like this dialogue from mia after the trial ends:

which is her referring to whichever choice we made right before franziska saved the day; either securing the non guilty verdict, or claiming that engarde is guilty. i was very happy to learn that mia says this regardless of which choice you pick, bc neither options are necessarily incorrect. if you say engarde is guilty, it means that being a lawyer means to believe in your own convictions and moral compass. if you secure a not guilty verdict for instead, it means being a lawyer, a defense lawyer, is about defending your client to the best of your ability, regardless of ur own personal beliefs. both of these are admirable traits to have in a lawyer which is why either choice are praised equally…. THIS CASE IS SO GOODFJSDLJFK

some other final comments before i wrap this up: i was so relieved to see andrews smile at the end of everything T_T i think shes a subtle parallel to wright, edgeworth, and franziska, as all four of them have lost their mentors and are struggling bc of it. all 4 of them were dependent on their mentors to various degrees, but by the end of the case, they are able to extract themselves from their mentors' shadows, and are able to forge a new path for themselves. wright learns that theres more to being an attorney than believing in one's client, edgeworth and franziska put von karma's legacy of perfection behind them, and andrews learns to be comfortable with herself 🥲🧡 also gumshoe was such a real one in this case…. i am so sorry for previously cussing you out when u wouldnt give me evidence. through our time together you have become a friend to me <3

[herohikara-wol]

FFXIV Write 2k23 - Day 28

Blunt - Emperor AU

“Absolutely not.” Varis frowned as Hero sulked in his seat. “I’ve told you before, it would reflect poorly on both of us if you did.” Once again they were fighting over Hero’s potential romantic prospects, and once again, Hero was being insanely stubborn about them.

“Every single suitor I’ve met so far, I can’t trust as far as I can throw them! I’ve met half this list during the different balls, festivals, senate meetings, state dinners and even the military meeting I’ve had to attend in the last six moons. I don’t feel comfortable with any of them. Certainly not comfortable enough to bed them, much less wed them.”

“There’s the other half of the list, your Radiance.” Varis was only growling in frustration, “have you considered using your echo to do more than just reject your suitors?”

“My echo warns me of danger, ill intentions, and lies. They aren’t interested in me either, they’re interested in my power and position. I refuse to have a loveless marriage, I want a partner I can trust.”

“Zenos keeps trying to kill you every time you train with him, how is that a sign of trust?”

“All he’s doing is trying to find a way to fight me at my full strength, when we’re not in the training room he’s docile.”

“Lazy.”

“Tired and bored. I’d rather have someone smart and a bit lazy than stupid and ambitious, Varis.”

The high legatus cringed a little, he couldn’t fault Hero for that one. Smart and Lazy were a wonderful combination, they were the ones who could make a system more efficient just so it let them do less work. Smart and ambitious people made things happen, they were the go-getters who ensured everything ran smoothly, much like Asahi was. The pair were becoming a very effective combination whenever they were left alone with a single problem to focus on. It’s the people who were both ambitious and incapable of rubbing together two brain cells to spark a single idea that were the real danger. All the desire to run the world and none of the critical thinking skills to do so.

Framed like that, he could understand why Hero preferred someone like Zenos who had no desire to control him, and instead would lounge about like a feral cat who’d found a warm spot until he found something to hunt. Zenos was, relatively speaking, safe. The sons of the political upper crust in Garlean society were raised in a society that was as cold and cut throat as his grandsire once was.

Still is, if the damned ascian was so intent on hanging around and haunting the palace after his supposed demise.

He inhaled slowly, counted to ten, and tried again. “If you court Zenos officially, the senate will rake me over the coals for trying to groom you into giving me the position of power I would have had if my grandsire had chosen me to succeed him. They will see it as a naked attempt at a bid for power from me, not a choice you made willfully with all due consideration.”

“So you need me to meet, flirt with, and reject literally every other option on the table before I’m allowed to court Zenos and Asahi openly.”

Finally, progress. “Yes, exactly.”

Hero growled softly, his face contorting into the most sour look Varis had ever seen the young Viera make. Still, he picked up the data pad before him and started going through the list of potential consorts and wives he had yet to reject. “Fine, but I’m not going to enjoy it. Mark my words.”

“Does anyone ever enjoy the prospect of an arranged marriage, your Radiance? I’m sure at least a dozen people on that list are only there because their parents put them there and they had no say in the matter. Your rejection would be a blessing to them.” He noticed one of the suitors and sighed, “she’s one of them actually. Her lover is actually on the palace guard, the lovely lady on the morning Library rotation.”

“Okay we’ll make that plan b then, I marry a lesbian and fuck your son on the side.” Varis wasn’t sure how to feel about the candid way Hero mentioned it, and it had to have shown on his face because the young Emperor smirked up at him. “You told me to give it all due consideration, so I’m considering.”

“Could you consider using less vulgar language when referring to my son, your radiance?”

“And miss you making angry dad faces at me? Never.”

[heliads]

Hellooooo!!! I was wondering if I could request a modern au newt x reader? this is going to be a specific request, but where gladers are playing monopoly and it turns into an all-nighter because Minho refuses to let anyone stop and during it, reader, being sleep- deprived, confesses her feelings for newt. in the morning reader doesn't really remember, but newt does and he confronts her?

absolutely delightful idea

masterlist

You should have known from the very beginning that this was going to end badly. Look, the idea is better in theory. It always is. After all, what could possibly go wrong during game night?

The answer, as it turns out, is everything. It was Minho’s turn to decide what game would seal the friend group’s fate for the evening, which is never a good sign. Last time it was his choice, he forced everyone to undergo a dreadfully long session of Twister. You don’t think Newt’s leg has been the same since. 

Ah, well. Your prophecy is sealed. Minho has refused to so much as say the name of what game you’ll be playing tonight, opting instead to issue out wicked cackles of glee whenever one of you asks. All he’s let slip is that the lot of you should put aside a significant amount of time for what is to come. That sounds like it’s going to involve a fair amount of pain and suffering, and at this point, being sentenced to years in a medieval torture device seems like a far more efficient method of ending your days. 

You suppose you could always just skip game night and get back your treasured hours, but everyone knows that’s not an option. To show even the slightest sign of flinching under fire means that you’ll be brutally roasted in group chat and hallway alike for years, possibly even decades. 

No, you must go through with this. This doesn’t mean Minho won’t escape without at least an earful or two of complaining, though. He has his role (torturer number one) and you have yours (critic most vocal). Besides, if you’re being honest it’s kind of fun to suffer with your friends. Any decent friendship has to be borne on at least some sort of shared trauma. Otherwise, what’s the point?

Thus the afternoon ends with you rolling up to Minho’s place of residence. The chooser of the game must be the host, tradition dictates. Otherwise the messes were astronomical. Your little gatherings have cultivated their own sort of lore over the months, strengthening with time until breaking the rules is something akin to a mortal sin worthy of the strictest punishments. 

So it goes. As it turns out, that’s just the sort of fun that you happen to like the best. No matter how difficult life gets, how much work you have or how much it feels like you’ll never be able to get through what you must, you can always count on your friends to lift your spirits. You would follow them to the end of the world. Forget that old saying about jumping off a bridge if your friend took the plunge first. For them, you’d dive off the tallest tower, take the most treacherous risk. You know that they would save you every time.

That’s why you laugh about what is to become of you, but in the wholehearted sort of way that warms your spirits even as you feign complaints. In the end, you couldn’t be happier to be here. These are your friends, your newfound family. You couldn’t put them to the side if you tried.

Truth be told, there’s one amongst your numbers that you’re excited to see more than the most. Your friends have always been your favorite people on this earth, but that difference goes the extra mile when it comes to the blond boy currently walking up Minho’s driveway with a smile like the sun. 

You’re not sure when you first fell for Newt, but oh, you couldn’t shake that sort of heartsick hopelessness if you tried. No, Newt is what matters most to your skipped heartbeats and jumping pulse, end of story. He has this way of making you feel extraordinary, even on the days when you don’t want to think about a single thing connecting you to anyone else. You could come up with a thousand reasons to hate yourself only for Newt to brainstorm a million more to love yourself.

No, there has never been anyone for you like him. It’s a shame, then, that he doesn’t seem to feel the same way. Newt knows the perfect thing to say to keep you from falling apart, the perfect smile to wear. He is perfection incarnate, except for one characteristic which threatens to fracture apart his entire image in your eyes. Were it not for the fact that Newt will never see you as someone along the lines as a sister or a particularly close friend, he could be flawless.

Every one of you is mortal, though, and in some way it’s almost refreshing to know that even Newt has his lapses in character. This is only a problem to you, obviously, but even this flaw in his visage hurts like staring at the sun. You could spend your entire life revolving around him, reveling in the blindness of scorching your eyes out over his brilliance, and you don’t even think he would notice once.

It is a terrible sort of ache, to be sure, but it is one that you have known for quite some time. That’s why you’re able to put aside your cracked and fractured heart and greet him with a charming grin when he walks through the door. Pleasantries are what Newt expects from you, and you will give them to him every time. You can keep up this act if it kills you. Especially if it kills you. Dying for him might be the best sort of nothingness, a gradual slip off into the abyss. 

You’ll mess up at one point, of that you’re certain, but until then you can keep pretending that nothing is the matter. Newt will go on being exactly who he is– kind, more than you deserve, the best sort of boy that too few people will ever get to know– and you will push off the inevitable discovery for as long as you can. After all, if Newt were to know how you truly feel, he’d surely be disappointed.

That’s why you have to keep this to yourself. You simply have no other choice. It’s that or leave him behind, and that is one thing that you surely cannot do.

Newt is very grateful for tonight. Game nights are always an experience, and he has an inkling that tonight won’t be an exception. Minho has been plotting this for at least a week now, which is never a good sign. Newt has already had murmured discussions with Alby over what Minho could be planning, and although they have their ideas, they won’t know for sure until Minho whips out his chosen game board and seals their fate.

Until then, he gets to talk to his friends, eat snacks, and try to have a good time. School stress has been settling around his shoulders in a thick blanket as of late, choking up his movements and forcing him into a frustratingly slow existence. He needs to study, but he can’t get his brain to focus for longer than five minutes at a time. He tries to get better grades, but the content seems impossible to master.

That’s why he needs a night like this, a chance to think about something other than godforsaken schoolwork for a change. Newt can always count on his friends to clear his head, it’s what he’s done since what feels like the beginning of time and what he’ll do until the day he dies.

Newt was especially glad to open the door to Minho’s house and see Y/N smiling at him from across the room. Obviously, he’s happy when all of his friends are around, but for some reason he seems to enjoy Y/N’s company more than anyone else. Newt can’t quite put his finger on the reason, but he’s certain that it will come to him eventually. Everything always makes sense around her, so surely this feeling will have a name soon enough. 

Until then, he’ll suffer with this sensation like having a word on the tip of his tongue only to forget it the second he opens his mouth. It’s infuriating, but then again, so are most things in this life. Over time, Newt has learned that the way to deal with things is to just keep moving forward, and so he does, walking into the house and greeting Y/N as soon as he can. He can banish any negative thought so long as he can just see her.

Minho ends their anticipation soon enough, announcing with a dreadful flourish of his hands that they’re going to be playing Monopoly until the very end of the game. There will be no untimely conclusions for them, no sir. The group is going to play until one person is capitalist extraordinaire, and after that long-awaited moment they can all free themselves from board game exile.

They’re going to have quite a long time to ponder their fate as they play, though. Minho is clearly delighted with the thought of chaining his friends to the accursed game, likely because the dark-haired boy is ungodly good at it for some reason while the rest of them are absolutely terrible. It feels like Minho’s already racked up a multitude of properties after just a few turns. Newt would think he’s cheating were it not for the fact that Gally keeps an eagle eye on the bank, just in case.

Thomas is convinced that he should not have been sent to jail, Gally threatens that he should be there for longer, Alby groans and tells Thomas that one turn will be a sufficient punishment for his board game crimes. In between getting absolutely robbed over egregious rents on the various brightly colored squares, Newt passes his time in another, somehow better way. The loud, raucous complaints of various friends as the game progresses serves as a brilliant cover-up for the conversation Newt wants to be having instead. 

Y/N chose to sit by Newt, something he’s very happy about, again for a reason he can’t entirely describe. They use the threats of mortal violence ricocheting between friends to muffle their quiet exchanges. Newt is always filled with this ridiculous need to sound as cool and funny as possible around her, so he’s grateful Minho can’t overhear Newt’s attempt at suave conversation. He has a feeling that the other boy would find it incredibly humorous, and likely point this out at great volume.

As the night wears on, Newt’s attempted control over his own words grows less and less strict. They have been at Monopoly for hours and they’re still no closer to winning the game than when they started. Minho insisted that even losers must remain around the board game table, likely to make sure no one would try to sacrifice themselves in the hopes of escape, so they’re all still packed just as tightly around the game board.

However, the late hour and the mind numbing brain drain of trying to remember all the rules has Newt’s attention span shrinking by the second. Y/N looks like she’s about ten seconds from falling asleep, and Newt ends up playing most of her turns for her. She’s leaned up against his shoulder now, eyelids continually flickering shut as she fights the urge to pass into unconsciousness.

In the beginning, Y/N would tell Newt what she wanted to do, but he’s long since been able to guess at what she wants that she doesn’t even have to say a word. They’re of one mind, the two of them. It is impossible to tell where she ends and he begins, if there was ever such a difference in the first place.

As if reading his mind, Y/N yawns and whispers something to Newt, her words scarcely audible over Frypan declaring his hatred of another railroad square. “I’m glad you’re here, you know.”

Newt chuckles. “Why, so you have someone to suffer with you?”

“No,” Y/N says amidst a quiet laugh, “I just like spending time with you. Guess it’s ‘cause of the whole crush thing, but still. You’re fun.”

After this pronouncement has been given, Y/N tucks her head back against Newt’s shoulder, looking to all the world as if she’s just commented on the weather or something normal. By contrast, Newt feels as if he’s never been more awake in his life. He knows what Y/N said, even if she might not be aware of it herself. She said that she liked being with him because of the ‘crush thing,’ but that sounds like– that sounds like–

She likes him. She might even love him. Newt’s brain might fall to pieces over the force of such a revelation. Isn’t that how he feels, though? Like he doesn’t want to spend time with anyone other than her? The fact that he hadn’t even realized it until now is insane to him. It makes perfect sense the longer he thinks about it. Of course he loves her. How could he not? Isn’t this what love is, wanting to be with someone for the rest of your life?

The rest of the game night passes in a haze. Newt isn’t entirely sure who won, although he’s certain that whoever it was will take great pains to remind them until the next game night. Newt lost whatever advantage he had in the game the second Y/N accidentally confessed her feelings. He just couldn’t think about something as elementary as Monopoly when someone like Y/N told him that she liked him. How could anyone focus on a board game during such conditions?

Newt feels like he’s walking on eggshells when he approaches Y/N at school the next Monday. She didn’t text him over the weekend to indicate that anything unusual had happened. In all honesty, Newt’s not even sure that she was awake enough to know what she said. Newt knows, though, and that makes all the difference.

Newt stops by Y/N’s locker, wondering how he’s going to bring this up. Y/N saves him the trouble, flashing him a casual grin as she opens her combination lock.

“Hey, Newt. Sleep well this weekend? I was exhausted after Friday. I assumed I’d have to pull an all-nighter at some point, but I didn’t think it would be over Monopoly.”

Newt forces a chuckle. “Yeah, yeah. Hey, about Friday. There’s something I wanted to talk about.”

Y/N’s brow furrows. “What do you mean? I think I fell asleep once we passed into the three a.m. range, sorry about that.”

Newt shakes his head. “No, it wasn’t about that. It was, well, when you were falling asleep, you told me something.”

Judging by the way Y/N’s face falls, she might have been aware of it after all. “I thought that was just a dream,” she whispers, “Guess not.”

“Yeah,” Newt says.

Y/N winces. “Look, I’m really sorry about that. It wasn’t supposed to happen at all. Can we just pretend I was asleep and didn’t know what I was saying? Please?”

“I don’t want to pretend, though,” Newt whispers, “I want it to be real.”

Y/N seems to freeze in place. “What?”

That’s as good as any to continue, so Newt does just that. “I like you too,” he says, “really, I do. More than I thought I could.”

Y/N stares at him a second longer, then breaks into a slow smile. “If this is what comes of Minho’s game nights, I’m not entirely sure I mind them anymore.”

Newt laughs. “Is that your way of saying that you’d like to go out with me sometime?”

“It most certainly is,” Y/N assures him.

Maybe Newt is still reeling from the high of staying up so late, because he swears he can feel his heart do a loop in his chest. Either way, he couldn’t be happier. He’s got his girl, and that’s all that matters right now.

tmr tag list: @rogueanschel, @ellobruv, @retvenkos, @neewtmas, @thatfangirl42, @hiya-its-amber, @gods-fools-heroes, @hope92100, @23victoria, @w1shes43

[sonydiscman11]

It is when I see others degraded that I rejoice knowing it is better to be me than the scum of "the people". Whenever men are equal, without that difference, happiness cannot exist. So you wouldn't aid the humble, the unhappy. In all the world no voluptuousness flatters the senses more than social privilege. - Paolo Bonacelli. (from Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom (1975). Directed by Pier Paolo Pasolini.

Recently, I had to watch Pasolini’s Salò for a college essay. When I was younger, I always wanted to watch this film, mainly, because every website and film critic ranked this film as a top 5 most disturbing films of all time. 

Pasolini did a wonderful job doing this adaptation of the Marquis de Sade’s 1904′s unfinished novel The 120 Days of Sodom. There was only one change he made while he adapted it: he translated the story from the time of the Marquis, to the time of WWII, when the fascist government of Mussolini allied with the Nazis.

He also did something very interesting, dividing the story in four segments inspired by Dante’s Inferno: the Anteinferno, la Girone delle Manie (Circle of Manias), la Girone della Merda (Circle of Shit) and la Girone del Sangue (Circle of Blood). Every segment succeeds in the test of surpassing it’s predecessor in terms of the disgustingess it causes in the viewer. 

While many cinephiles may think that Pasolini maybe tried to somehow give the viewer a message about how dictators and the riches abuse their power in this society to their advantage (in this case, sexual advantage). But... nope. I don’t feel like Pasolini tried to do anything else than a faithful adaptation, word by word sometimes, of its source material.

And yeah, it is fucking disgusting. 

Fun Fact: There’s a popular urban legend that says that Pasolini was murdered because of this film. But that’s not true. Pasolini was supposedly killed by a young male prostitute, who refused to have sex with him in Pasolini’s car, on a beach in Ostia, Italy. Pier Paolo was open to the world about him being a homosexual, and also a comunist. But, the real reason why he was murdered, and how it happened it’s... unknown to this day.

For my essay I had to read a very interesting text written by Pasolini himself, The “Cinema of Poetry”, from a book written by himself called Heretical Empiricism. I don’t think I fully understood it, but it was interesting to see how he compared language and his codes and tried to compare it to the codes of images, and how language had a structure you can follow when you want to create any sort of text, but images don’t have that structure to follow. At least that’s what I could partially understand. I strongly recommend you to read it. 

The only weird thing about Pasolini, and something I still don’t understand, is how a film director with some heart-warming and luminous films like his “Trilogy of Life”, suddenly had a 360º degree swivel and decided to do a “Trilogy of Death”. Strange.

Well, now I just have to wait until December 21st, when my life will go back to normal and my dumb taste for comic book films can return into my life, when I’ll be finally able to watch Spiderman: No Way Home. Until then, as *NSYNC said: “Bye, Bye, Bye”. (*NSYNC, 2009)

[reginaaxxwrites]

Walls Could Talk • Todoroki Shoto

Pro Hero! Shoto x Villain! Reader

warning: mentions of blood, gore, killing, problems in psychological thinking

° • ° • ° •

"I'm asking you again. Why did you kill those people?" Tsukauchi asked the 20-year-old woman.

They were both sitting at a chair, a table between them as they were facing each other. He couldn't believe that the girl who's sitting in front of him, used to dream about being a hero someday.

But instead, she became a wanted villain. A woman who would kill innocent people, enjoying every stab she makes at a lifeless body. Her hands were used to be gentle and pure. Now, it's tainted in blood and hatred.

Tsukauchi didn't understand why she would do such a thing and why did she become what she is.

Y/N looked at him. Instead of answering his question. Her lips form a grin and started to laugh. It frightened him.

"Of course, you would ask that question." She stopped laughing and remained her body composed.

She leans forward even though chains surround her body, keeping her from escaping under their hands.

"I can see how sad and frightened you are, Mr. Tsukauchi. But you see... You can't change the fact that I killed people. I can see it in your eyes that you couldn't believe what I had become. A girl who you once thought a pure and innocent—you probably still think of me that. But I'm sorry to tell you that L/N Y/N is no longer here." She laughed again.

Tsukauchi wanted to save her. Maybe there's another way that could bring herself. He believes that there's still hope to bring back into your senses.

"No one can save me... Not even All Might himself." She looked at him, this time her eyes glowed in red like Aizawa's.

He stood up in his chair, leaving her behind. He took out his phone dialed his number. Maybe he can make her talk. Maybe he can bring her senses back.

Maybe he can bring her back.

He can't let her become like this.

Tsukauchi waited for him to pick up his phone. He balled his fist, his knuckles turning white. He's becoming impatient. He knows that he's busy due to his hero works but if he could just answer the phone.

He's the only person he thought could save her.

"Hello?"

"Shoto! I know that this might not be in a good time. But could you lend me some of yours? I need you here. ASAP." He said in frustration.

Todoroki could hear his frustration and panic through the phone. In fact, Tsukauchi called at a good time since he was about to talk to him about his recent investigation.

"I'll be there in 10 minutes." Todoroki hanged up and went to his car.

Δ Δ Δ

"I don't why Mount Lady said that girls would die if I smiled. Is my smile, deadly? Does my smile kill you?" Todoroki said, sitting beside the girl who tried her best to stop herself from laughing.

"Pfft—Sho, no. You're helpless." She laughed.

Todoroki stared at her. He felt warm in his chest, hearing her laugh, seeing her smile. Everything about her just makes him feel warm and happy.

"Okay—Pfft—I'm done laughing." She giggled, removing her small tears from her eyes.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." She smiled and let her head lay at Todoroki's broad shoulder. "It's just a way of telling that they love how you smile. Because you know... You're handsome, seeing you smile makes them like you even more. It's making me kinda jealous, though." She giggled as she intertwined her fingers to his.

Todoroki caressed her hand and kissed it, making Y/N flustered from his sudden actions.

"Then, should I only smile whenever I'm around you?"

"Oh, stop. That's making me sound a little selfish."

"I don't mind."

"You're literally taking every word seriously, aren't you?"

"Is that bad?"

Y/N once laughed again. Todoroki never fails to make her laugh. But he didn't mind. Her laughs were music to his ears. He loved them. Everything. He loved everything about her.

Days like these... He wishes to stay like these forever. He never wants to let go of her hand. Without her feels empty and cold.

She brings him happiness. A love that once was taken away from him was brought back because of her.

Δ Δ Δ

Todoroki arrived at the police station where Tsukauchi is. Tsukauchi went to Todoroki after seeing him enter inside the building.

"About the investigation—"

"We have some important serious matter besides that mission." He cuts him off. "Follow me." He turned around and walks off.

Todoroki followed him, yet he is confused. What is that important serious matter is he talking about? He hopes that it isn't dangerous because if it is Tsukauchi would not just have called him but also Midoriya and Bakugo.

After entering a room. Todoroki stood there in shock to see a familiar woman sitting inside the custody suite. Chains were surrounded her body as she looks emotionless.

She's breathing, alive. But at the same time, the aura she's giving was cold. There was no warm feeling he used to feel whenever he sees her.

Todoroki could feel his body weakened. How could possibly that the girl he thought died a few years ago was alive and is sitting inside the room? Not knowing that he's outside. He could've sworn he saw her took her last breathe.

"I'm sure you know why I called you."

"H-How? She died in my arms." His voice was shaking.

"Remember the wanted villain? Phantom Scarlet. Who kills innocent people. Whether it's a child or an elder. She kills them without mercy." Tsukauchi feels sick of how brutal her ways of killing are. She likes to kill them in a creative way. She's a psychopath. A serial killer. Sure, saving her is not a solution to this case. But he wanted to know why and how did this happen.

All of her classmates knew that she had died. They were there during her funeral. So how could a dead L/N Y/N is still here, killing people as the way of her fun time, a hobby?

"Maybe you could bring herself back to senses. Or ask the questions that could get answered. I know this is a sensitive favor. But I know that you also, have some questions to ask her." Tsukauchi started to talk. He gave Todoroki a glance that he should enter inside the custody suite.

Todoroki nodded at him as he held the doorknob tightly, taking a deep breath before entering.

He sat down at the chair that faces her and kept himself calm. He took one last glance at the large window where he could see Tsukauchi looking at them.

"Y/N."

The E/C-haired girl looked at the man she once knew. She stared at him, plainly. Not really surprised that he was sitting in front of her.

"Who would've thought that he would call you."

"You died. We were at your funeral. You died during the war between Midoriya and Tomura Shigaraki. How—"

"You know nothing, Todoroki. The man we fought killed my parents, my family. I seek revenge. I wanted to avenge my parents that's why I fought him together with Midoriya even if it caused my life."

Todoroki gripped his pants. He remembered how Shigaraki stabbed her deep. He stabbed the critical parts of her body. She coughed blood, she was losing all of her blood. Todoroki trying to keep the pressure. He was desperate to close your wounds so she would stop bleeding.

"H-How did you survived?"

"I didn't die. Everyone thought I did. But I didn't." She chuckled. "No one dared to open my casket because I wasn't the one who's inside of it."

Todoroki widens his eyes as Tsukauchi heard the words she said. If she isn't the person inside... Then who?

"Surprising, isn't it?" She smiled, her voice in excitement as she was about to reveal something important. "You're wondering who's inside? Honestly, I don't even who's inside. Probably another person's dead body that I killed." She giggled.

Todoroki was in shock to see the girl he loved. Up until now. He couldn't even go out on dates and love another girl because he still loves her.

"Disappointed to see the girl you once fell in love with is a psychopath? I killed people because I wanted to. I woke up and felt an urge to kill. The first time I killed after the war... I felt alive. It's like it was the missing piece in a puzzle. It completed me. I let all of you knew that I died because being with all of you doesn't feel like home anymore."

"What about you told me that you wanted to be a hero? To save people and bring them into justice?" Todoroki asked. He was still looking for her.

Y/N...

"Aww... Can't you see, Shoto? I'm not in the right mindset. I said those words to fit in. When clearly what I wanted was to avenge my family and kill villains. It's a cruel reality, Sho. Accept it."

Bring her back...

"Did you... Did you really loved me?" He looked directly at her eyes. He could've sworn she saw her eyes widen by the sudden question he asked.

He's hoping that even if she lied about becoming a hero and her true intentions. At least the love that she gave to him was enough to make him believe that deep inside she was honest about herself. That she really, truly loved him.

"Our love made me crazy, Shoto. I wanted to kill those girls who come and flirt with you. But I stopped myself because I knew you would leave me. Though, I did hurt Camie once. She kept texting you so I gave her a little warning." She giggled. "You made me a maniac, Shoto. And you didn't even know."

Everything was clear. The days they spent together, he didn't even notice that she was a psychopath. That she has a longing for killing people. But how would he know when you were the girl that kept him warm and loved?

All of it was a lie.

"I did love you. That's why I am willing to kill for you. But seeing your face right now, makes me wanna burst into a laugh. Did I disappoint you? I hope I did."

"STOP! BRING HER BACK. I KNOW SHE'S STILL IN THERE. WHOEVER ARE YOU—JUST FUCKING BRING HER BACK!" Todoroki couldn't hold it any longer and shouted at her.

He refused to believe, but how can he tell that this wasn't happening when she told him everything.

Everything is twisted.

"Give up, Shoto. You can't save everyone. That includes me. Let me go and move on." Y/N said in a gentle voice. Todoroki calmed himself but he already knew.

She has a split personality.

"Y/N?"

"There's nothing you can do. I let myself do this. I chose this path." She looked at him the way she looked at him during their high school days. "No one can stop me from killing." Then a split second, she was no longer there, again.

"That's enough, Shoto," Tsukauchi called to get their attention. "We've got the answers we wanted. It's enough."

It was truly terrifying. Tsukauchi looked at her. She was still there but it feels like she isn't.

Todoroki went out of the room, feeling sick about what happened. She had a split personality all this time. He couldn't save her... He can't save her. Not anymore. In order for her to stop killing, is by locking her inside a psychiatric ward or by putting her on a death sentence.

"Thank you for your help, Shoto. And I'm sorry." He followed Todoroki as sat down in frustration. His right hand on his face, still shocked about everything.

"It's all my fault."

[xxsmokeyy]

Levi x Reader (F) Tattoo

genre: smut, angst

summary: as he ends things, you desperately offer him your body, telling him to mark you even if it’s for the last time.

wc: 4,200

The darkness of the night takes over your flat, as you refuse to turn any source of light on, dead silence engulfing the space. It's comforting, the dim, solemn room. Lying alone on the bed you shared with your lover, you stare at the seeping light from the windows. If only you could switch the street lights off.

You don't know where it went wrong. This whole time, you settled with the assumption that everything was going well, that he looks at you the same way you do. But you have yet to learn.

It's like he's drifting away every passing day. Like he's growing distant every waking second. His change of behavior doesn't escape your scrutiny, even if his actions are as subtle as they can be. You notice how he scoots away from you on the sheets, and how he almost doesn't seem to need a share of the covers. How he disappears earlier than you can wake up, and how he only leaves you with a note saying he's off to work. It only tends to get worse everytime.

No, he's not seeing another person. After three years and a half together, you're quite confident you know him well. Quite. But eitherway, he isn't the type of man who'd cheat. He's a good guy, you know that for sure.

That's why you don't know how it came to this.

Were you not enough? Did you do something to throw him off? Is he sick of you? Has he lost his interest?

Thoughts and doubts flood your mind like crazy, leaving you wide awake with no room for rest. You check the time, and it's a few minutes past his expected return. He should be here any moment now.

Yet an hour passes by like years, and you feel your heart swell out of nothing good. As you check your phone religiously, you heave a sigh, toss, and turn. You just hope he's not drinking, though he's not the kind to drink until he's wasted. Heck, he's never even reached the point where he's tipsy. A smile creeps up your lips as you recall the times when you'd both drink, you ending up a mess and him always babysitting you, sweeping you up from your feet once you'd had enough and drive home, completely sober compared to you.

Before you know it, another hour passes by. Time feels like nothing. Void and numb. Maybe you should have taken your friends' night out invitation? You haven't caught up with them these past months. But you‘re aware you'll just space out and think of him when you're supposed to be having a good time.

Then, you feel your soul light up as you hear the front door open. Should you pretend you're asleep? Should you greet him and ask him if he's had dinner? Knowing him, he'll only scold you for staying up for too late.

You swiftly turn your back against the bedroom's door but don't bother to close your eyes. You sense him enter, and your heart flutters nervously. You wonder where he's been and what took him so long, just to eventually keep your questions to yourself.

His side of the bed sinks as he sits and loosens his tie, readying himself of some eyeshut. You wait for him to lie down, but he never does. Curiosity filling your brain, you ache to take a peek at what he's doing, but he's still steadily seated.

“You’re still up,” he says, perfectly aware. Your breath was queerly uneven, and you didn’t wrap yourself with the blankets the way you did. He knows.

Your breath hitches, freezing for a moment. Just how critical is he? Unsure whether to speak or not, undecided of what to say, you prop yourself up with your elbows and sit up, back leaning against the headboard. A long, defeated sigh leaves your lips.

It’s painfully silent. You take a glance at him and you’re greeted by his broad back. Both of you stay quiet, waiting for whoever initiates a conversation. It’s not awkward, nor is it uncomfortable. Just… despondent. Low.

“You can tell me,” you suddenly blurt out, voice but a whisper. You look at your hands and mindlessly fiddle with your fingers.

“Tell you what?” he asks, as if he doesn’t know already.

“I’m not dumb, you know,” you inform, shifting your gaze to the windowpanes. Curse those street posts, you prefer complete blackness, else he’d see how broken you are.

“Nothing’s up,” he says, and it ticks you off. Does he think you’re stupid or something? This has been going on for months, it’s impossible to try and not talk about it. “Just to remind you, I’m your partner,” you state with a firm voice. Let’s not beat around the bush here, Levi.

His muscles strain upon hearing your “reminder”. You probably caught him there. No one dares speak, letting a couple minutes fly by like nothing. You know he wants to say something, you can feel it, he’s tense. What’s stopping him?

You sigh for the uncountable time, giving up. “Let’s go get our rest, alright?” you place a warm hand on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry.”

Your eyes widen as you hear him. He less than seldom said that phrase, and it fears you the most that he’s saying it now of all times. You wish you were stupid to not get what he means. This is exactly how a guy like him would end it, but you want to play dense and pry it out of him. Everything. Because a sorry won’t be enough to answer your questions.

“Is it me?” you ask dryly, back to fidgeting with your fingers, heart thumping so wildly it’s like it’s about to explode.

“No.”

“Someone else?” It’s not.

“No,” he says, voice calm as ever. Figures.

“Then what?” your brows furrow as you question him, impatience starting to ring in your tone. His back facing you, his short words, his disinclined attitude, they’re frustrating. If he wants to end this, he better elaborate and be his most rational self.

He stays silent. You couldn’t take it any longer and open your mouth to speak, but before you could say a word, he finally answers, “I’m not fit for this.”

You fall mute, letting his words sink in. You wanted to burst into laughter, but you can’t. The atmosphere is simply too heavy, it’s weighing you down. Not fit? For what?

“Give me an idea. I can’t keep guessing here, Levi,” your pitch breaks as you call his name, the tension strangling you to death. “You have to tell it to my face!” you beg desperately. You’re right, he should quit cowering behind his excuses. He’s going to end this, and explain why, because you deserve it of all people. So he turns around to face you, but immediately regrets it the moment he does.

You are, indeed, broken.

No, you didn’t have the tear stained face a lady has when she’s been suffering long. No, your hair wasn’t a mess like you didn’t bother fixing yourself. No, you didn’t get thinner from neglecting food. In fact, you looked too perfect. Too organized, like you poured the whole of your attention into your appearance. Like you wanted to pamper yourself so you wouldn’t descend into an unrecognizable mess. Like you needed to look fine to convince everyone you are.

But the excessive effort goes to waste, the culprit being your eyes. Your eyes gave it away. The exhaustion in them is so unbearably visible, sabotaging your forged front. That, and a hundred more emotions underneath.

He hates it. He doesn’t like the idea of you hurting, especially if it’s because of him. And the way you tried to conceal it? He has to end this, fast. He can’t stand making you suffer even more.

“Listen, I tried everything, but I’m just not one for relationships,” he explains, looking you straight in the eye even though it pains him to. “I can’t love,” he averts his gaze for a fleeting moment upon saying the word. It’s too cheesy for his liking, but he has to go on. “And I doubt you can stay with a man who can’t show the least intimacy,” he adds.

Frozen, your brows furrow in helplessness. It’s all happening too quick. He’s definitely breaking up with you. He probably thought of this long ago but just can’t bring himself to do it. Now that you pushed him, he’s decided.

“I’m sorry.” And with that, he turns away and stands up, grabbing his coat and keys to leave. You witness as your world starts to crumble.

That’s it? Because he can’t love? What about the kisses you exchanged? The times you made love? The way he stays and listens as you go on about your day and problems? The meals you prepared for each other? His scoldings whenever you don’t clean to his standards?

More than three years of memories flash before your eyes as he takes his steps toward the door. After all these years, that’s the conclusion he comes up with?

“No…” you mutter, staring at his disappearing figure powerlessly.

You get up on your foot and run to him, later tripping over yourself from your weak strength. He hears the thud and spins around to help you right away. You’re on the carpeted floor, kneeling as you look at the ground. You‘re unable to feel your tears start to well on the corners of your eyes.

Levi grabs your shoulders with both hands to assist you up. “Brat, let’s get you to bed,” he says. A chuckle slips from your mouth by hearing the little nickname he calls you by. It’s funny how you find it more romantic than the sweet endearments people use with their lovers. Hearing something you consider romantic when he just ended things, ironic.

He ignores your unhumorous giggle and tries to lift you but you refuse. “I must’ve not been enough,” you mumble feebly. He doesn’t like it. You’re obviously drained of energy from pretending to be fine for too long, and now that he spilled it, you’re left with nothing but to show how affected you are.

“It’s not that.”

“Then it’s someone else,” you argue as if fully convinced, though you know it isn’t. You’re looking for excuses, anything else other than his reason. Because this is so much worse.

Because from here on, you’re going to blame yourself, look for some flaw, rummage your system for something wrong, and question what you lack. If only you could pinpoint anything, you’d be content.

“I told you already,” he presses, wrapping your hands around his neck to then carry you in his arms. But you refuse. You find the position convenient, and instead lean into his face for an unexpected kiss.

The moment you feel his warm lips, your tears stream uncontrollably. Oh, how you love kissing him. This is gonna be the last, right? There’s no making him stay anymore. You know Levi. Once he’s decided, he’s unbreakable. If so, you just want to savor it, one last time.

He pulls away, shocked by your sudden action. Shit. “Stop it,” he orders in a curt manner, catching his breath. He doesn’t want to see you like this.

“Please…” you beg, going in for another, and another, and another. Your soft tongue enters his mouth, searching for intimacy. He’s kissing back. He could easily push you away and leave right at this very moment, but he chooses to kiss you back.

Is it out of pity? No it isn’t.

He pulls you closer and kisses you back, trying to respond with the same passion. The same emotion. If there’s anything he can do to feel the same way as you, he’d do it at the end of his tether.

You take away one hand to cup his cheek lovingly, rubbing with your thumb his velvet skin. He’s flawless. Everything you could’ve asked for. But he just has to slip past your fingers, past your reach.

A quiet sob escapes your lips as you lean back for breath, face buried into the crook of his neck. He’s so damn warm, you don’t want to lose him. Though you know you have to let him go, you’re not selfish.

“All this time, you stayed with me knowing you don’t love me?” you ask, voice muffled as you speak into his skin. He doesn’t answer, and you hear another sorry. Aren’t you humble today.

You nod continuously before raising your head to look at his soothing, grey eyes. They’re the most beautiful eyes you’ve ever seen your whole life. “Please… just let me feel you.” You close the distance and kiss him, passion burning in your movements. You love the man so much, it might be a sin in another reality. Sure, you’ll leave him alone and let him be as he wants, but right now, you just want to feel him, deep inside your body. Just one last time.

“Please, Levi. Take me,” you breathe out in between the lip locking, a lone tear sliding down your cheeks. He doesn’t know how to respond, but he follows your request by picking you up and settling you back on the mattress.

Is this okay? Is this taking advantage of her?

It may be crazy, but you could hear his thoughts out loud through his eyes while he climbs on the sheets and sits in front of you. You gently shake your head to convince him that it’s alright, reaching out both hands to taste his lips once more. Levi answers back like nothing’s wrong, like you’re still together. He wants to find something. Anything.

Your hands crawl to his dark strands, running your fingers through them gently. You remember combing his hair with your hands randomly as an intimate gesture, and he doesn’t complain everytime. He’s certainly grown fond of you, but probably not in that way.

You help him unbutton his shirt and he helps you lift your silk top, exposing both your naked chests. He observes you for a second, the dim light casting abstract shadows on the dips and structures of your face. “Take me…” you whisper and he grunts in response as you both fall into the bed, him positioned on top of you. Deep down, you feel your heart sting in a mixture of pain and pleasure as he grazes his lips on your skin, inducing goosebumps on your whole body. You throw your head back to give him moving space and let him explore every inch of you.

He lets his mouth travel onto the peaks of your breasts, lips still wet from the exchange of kisses. The warm sensation forces a mewl out of you, and he continues. This is the last request you ask of him, and he’ll listen to your whims. It’s only one detail different from when you did it before.

He alternates from the two mounds once more, giving it a few shallow pecks before going down to remove your bottom. You’re now lying naked as he watches you for a brief moment.

You’re beautiful. You had what every man can wish for; a perfect body, a considerate nature, and a beautiful face. Of course you have more than just that, he never underestimated you. The problem really is with him and his apathetic psyche, and he can’t stay with someone as pure as you. You might be a mess right now, but you’re a tough one, you can stand by your own, even if he’s not there anymore.

"Hey, are you sure about this?" Levi asks as he hovers just above you. His voice is soothing like lulling you to sleep. You hum in agreement and sling your hands around his nape, kissing him yet again. Though still a bit reluctant, you hear him finally remove his trousers. Before you know it, he enters your depth, and you could feel him become one with you. It's another wonderful mix of pleasure and pain.

As your tongue spar with his, he then begins to buck his hips into you leisurely, earning him a couple stifled moans. His pace is slow and sensual, only adding up to the growing illusion that you were inlove.

Your eyes are closed shut, trying to prevent the tears from materializing so he won't see. You feel his length rub against your walls along with the stimulation of him kissing your neck. "Mark me," you beg quietly. He starts suckling on your bare skin just like you wanted, leaving a lone, but red lovebite.

Yes, you'd cherish that until it eventually disappears, because it's the last lingering memory of him you'll have on your body. Is it ridiculous to love someone this much within three years or so? Maybe it is. Maybe you are ridiculous. But can they blame you? You just loved.

As Levi thrusts further into you, the stray fringes of his undercut swaying back and forth along with your breaths running, he gives himself a chance to try and look for something he should feel with a lover. His lips slam into yours endlessly as he rummages.

The harmonious sounds of skin slapping against one another, catching of breath, and restricted grunts and moans cover the entire room, and for once, you feel less alone. The fact that he took on your pleas make you happy. He probably still feels something as well, just not enough. Not enough to stop him from leaving.

You run a hand along his muscular back, nails digging lightly as you feel him hit your good spot. He pulls away, a trail of saliva connecting your lips with his.

“Levi," you whimper. As you look at him with dazy, wanton eyes, he sees how you want more of him. He obliges by touching you everywhere, your love handles, your hair, your cheeks. You grab his jaw so that you're now holding each other's face and give him a small, weak smile. Is it pity that you feel, Levi?Your hand slides down his naked torso, index finger particularly stopping at his heart, vision darting on the same spot. Tell me, is there something there?

Though you know full well by yourself that even if it’s just pity that’s driving him to do this, you’d still gladly accept it.

To hell with dignity, you want to feel him tonight badly, even if this is nothing more than a plea of desperation.

A gasp leaves your mouth and you arch your back in fervor as he rams deeper, keeping his sensual pace at bay. He feels so good, everything feels so good, that you wouldn’t want it any other way. His eyes stay on yours, fierce gaze diving deep into the pools of your glowing orbs. It’s the kind of stare that’d make your knees tremble, and you still remember him using it on you when you first met.

He lets his hand roam around your body, fondling your breasts and tweaking your nipples, earning him a moan of pleasure. He lets his lips brush on your skin, sucking rashly on the red spot he made just a while ago to intensify it, making it last longer.

He knows just what you want, for him to embed his ownership into your body, burning into your skin. Emotions stir inside you like a tornado on the loose, you love him so much.

Levi grinds his hips down you firmly as he feels you nearing based from your shakier breathing and tighter walls. He uses his thumb to flick on your clitoris, and you transcend into a moaning mess upon feeling your orgasm building quickly in your guts.

You wish things would stay this way, wish for time to slow down, if possible, even stop. This is the last moment you could savor, because after this you know he’d leave the door right that instant, just like how easily he did it minutes ago. By that time, you can’t beg him anymore, nor can you make him stop. This is nothing but an inevitable goodbye.

He gently circles your most sensitive spot, as if you’re bound to break by any motion wilder. It’s almost totally contrary to how you both had sex before, the roughness not being there, the harsh movements, and the need to impose domination. You’re thankful he’s doing it nice and slow, just a little passionate, elongating the short time a tad more. Atleast he’s making an effort.

He was drunkening, starting from his ardent thrusts to the mere skin contact. You then feel your spasms closer, and you wrap your hands around his body for support, the brimming desire bottling inside you about to explode.

“Levi—!”

He continues moving to your will, and it takes you one last hump before an immense surge of pleasure rolls all throughout your body, to your limbs down into the tips of your fingers causing you to erupt and shake. Your trembling cavern wrap around him perfectly while you pulsate, heartbeat in exquisite sync. Momentarily, you forget the entirety. Your memories, his words, your current situation, him leaving you.

As you squirm underneath him, Levi stops to let you be and not make you feel overwhelmed from the aching sensitivity, waiting for your high to wear down before he pulls out. Earlier becoming one with one another, it’s only until then that you feel empty and lonely again.

You fall boneless, gasping for air, vision just a bit bleary. You fail to see him sit upright and buckle his belt to make off. It’s happening.

Levi glances at you to see if you’re out cold and senseless, but finds you covering your eyes with your forearm, hiding your threatening tears from his sight. You’re awake.

He mentally sighs. It’s no use. In the end, he felt nothing.

Once you’ve pulled back your tears before they can form, you uncover your face and give him a look so visibly painful no matter how much you conceal it. “You can stay with me. Even if it’s just as friends,” you mutter, voice almost inaudible, but he hears. He gently shakes his head as refusion. That’d be taking advantage of you, and he wouldn’t want to do that.

You look at Levi with worn and droopy eyes, feeling the most helpless. You couldn’t stop him. Your heart stutters vigorously from inside its rib cage as he leans forward and he kisses you. You’re dumbstruck upon feeling his pair of warm lips land flat onto your forehead. Laying back there, immobilized and unable, you couldn’t do a single thing as you watch him quickly slip away from your reach. He wears his clothes, grabs a couple of his important stuffs and finally leaves without looking back, not one time.

The sound of the door shutting echoes inside your lonesome suit, resonating repeatedly in your ears. A dry and excruciating chuckle leaves your throat as if to try and prevail over the looming desolation, bitterness seething inside your veins, crippling like venom.

How cruel. He’s that ready? And he didn’t even bother bringing with him all of his things, huh? Guess you’ll decide later on whether to throw them out or wait for him to get them.

You swear, you tried the best you could to keep it in. You were spent to the bones both mentally and emotionally, you thought you can’t weep any more.

But you cried yourself to sleep for only the heavens know how long, sobs so heavily restrained in such a way that you think he was just behind the door and might hear you. Your hiccups uncontrollable, bursting out in an explosive manner that brought you uttermost difficulty to pull air into your lungs. Months of trying to understand, same time trying to not break, your brain doesn’t understand if finally crying it all out is relieving or only becoming more unbearable.

Your resentment only fuels as you witness the morning sun start to pour into your room shortly before you drift into unconsciousness.

The next day was an even more awfully hard battle, the growing static in your heart devouring your body. Getting used to being without him, coping on your own, practicing your smile as you prepare yourself to work only to ditch it and ask for a sick leave. When you pass by a mirror, you see nothing but a wreckage. Your pain is clear as day it’s utterly impossible to forge a front or make believable excuses.

A wave of alien emotion hits you as you keenly eye the lovebite he left just above your clavicle. You touch it as if the tip of your fingers were magnetized into doing so, as if you can feel him through it. You want to think of yourself as a canvas, and the small mark as his artwork.

You look at yourself once more, gently pressing on the reddened skin. A tiny but self-assuring smile appears on your lips as you observe both the hickey and your physique. It’s surely going to take a while, but you’ll be okay.

Besides, even tattoos fade after time.

[lady-literature]

A Miraculous DC Crossover

ALL RIGHT!!

I’ve been sucked into this unholy sub-fandom and I have thoughts okay? lots of them. Almost none are coherent and I don’t care. I have no plotline to write a fic but by the gods do I need to get out all my ideas.

Behold:

the Salttm

Lila, obviously. But she’s a petty nuisance at best, and an annoyingly competent akuma to fight at worst. manipulative, but not really dangerous ya feel?

Alya. which like, home girl probably doesn’t deserve but like,,, the drama??

CHLOE REDEMPTION YOU COWARDS

She and Marinette become surprisingly good friends (because I love that for both of them and you can pry it from me cold, dead hands)

Nettie-bug and Queenie

They pick on Adrien together

Mari’s friends Protection Squad That Don’t Take No Shit

Adrien

Chloe

NINO BITCH HE DESERVES MORE LOVE TBH

Alix?? Probably

Luka obvi

Felix (PV)?? Or does Marinette have enough emotionally constipated boys in her life?

(Answer: no. no she does not.)

Nath? He be a good fox tbh. creative and sneaky boi

Kagami!!! I love her

They’re all heroes because I say so.

Felix (Sparrow) is an honorary member even though he doesn’t have a miraculous

He handles PR and other background things along with Chloe

Joined up a few years back when Parisians were getting a bit too critical of the heroes

No Hawkmoth b/c fuck that guy

He existed, just not anymore. Bitch got yeeted

There’s other villains in town now. After Hawkmoth’s defeat other metas/supervillains looked at Paris and was just like, ‘free real estate?”

So now the Miraculous Team are Paris’ Actual Full-Time Hero TeamTM… yay.

Ladybug, Chat Noir, and Abielle (or like, Wasp/Yellow Jacket idk Chloe changes her name because ~identity stuff~) are the core three team. like, the wonder woman/batman/superman trio of the MTeam.

Nath is called Reynard Ambre b/c I love him

The public knows he exists but he’s never seen in battle and no pictures exist.

but there are plenty of instances where Paris knows he out mucking around because those akuma battles always get really weird.

Marinette be the guardian?

Guardian in training

Along with all the other holders b/c jesus. Give the girl a break.

Yeah. I like that Idea. All current holders are training to be guardians as well, but Mari’s going to step up as Guardian Supreme when Fu steps down.

Hero fashion!!!

The Miraculous Team is all decked out in their own merch like 24/7

Rarely is it thier own hero persona tho

Not because of like,,,, secrecy or anything. Just because they’re all nerds who love each other

Marinette is the lead producer of Miraculous Merchandise. It’s like,,, her BrandTM It was completely unintentional too

(Adrien and Chloe financially support her work tho. She designs, makes a prototype, and has her two blondes get others to replicate it)

Half of Paris is wearing her without knowing it

(Go MDC! get it girl!)

She totally makes Gotham inspired outfits because what else would she do????

Don’t get her wrong, most of Gotham’s fashion sense royally pisses her off but it’s fun and hey, supporting her fellow heroes ya know?

She wears a Robin hoodie after being officially acquainted with both Damian and Robin (separately of course)

Damian chokes on something, probably his own tongue.

It confuses Nettie. But then she thinks maybe he’s a fan too? She offers to make one for him but he steadfastly refuses much to his brothers’ amusement.

Might make a robin themed dress?? If so, she crosses paths with Robin when she does, thoroughly embarrassing her and almost sending poor Dami into a crisis.

Rogues Gallery

She makes a lot of designs off the rouges gallery because like, supporting people trying to get better??? also they’re some of the few who’s aesthetic aint shit?

She can’t make all of them because she ran out of time, so the rest get posited up on her Instagram and MDC blog (that’s run by Tikki mostly. She’s a great secretary and gets bored in Mari’s purse all the time)

Everyone is very flattered

Harley, if she ever finds it, immediately commission all pieces and wears them around Gotham don’t @ me

Daminette obvi

Marinette meets him and is just like ‘wow, you’re horrible. I want five’

Marinette, in the group chat later: so I met Kagami and Felix’s love child today

Kagami and Felix, seconds apart: I would never stoop so low

immediately after: Hey what the fuck? Rude

Nino: Nettie, dearest, sunshine, light of our collective lives and reason I breathe, what the fuck

Adrien: Kagami, my love, how could you? the Betrayal

Chloe: ew

Luka: Send pics or it didn’t happen

Nath: [insert the ‘right in front of my salad?’ meme]

Whenever they cross paths as Robin and Mari, he’ll just like,,, appear from nowhere hanging upside down spiderman style. Mari finds it endearing but she also wants him to stop scaring the shit out of her

Nicknames, because I have an unhealthy obsession with them, alright?

Misc Mari names: Bug, Bugaboo, Buginette, Madame President/Colonel (when the Team’s being cheeky), Princess, Marigold, Nettie (by like, Nino and Alix)

Jason calls her Pixie-pop

The bird boys call her Nightingale/Mockingbird in like, honor of her being a kickass civillian

Mari refers to them as ‘the flock’ (and bird-brains after getting to know them better)

Damian calls her: Starling, Habibti, ya qamar(my moon), malaki (angel), ya wardati(my flower) (b/c like, angel’s cute an all but I just think Damian’s way more dramatic than that tbh. he’d put thought into his nicknames)

Mari calls Damian: mon soleil (my sunshine) (because symmetry and also Mari thinks she’d hilarious), Birdie, petit oiseau/oisillon

I like the idea of Jagged being a native Gothamite tbh

it’s just so fun honestly???

He’s probably the reason the MTeam are in Gotham in the first place? maybe? anyway, the class is there, right? right. 

Kagami, Luka and Felix are all holding the fort down in Paris. Ain't no akumas but sometimes they need backup so when certain heroes need to disappear, Nath has Trixx set up an illusion of whichever one so they can slip away with the horse miraculous.

Mari’s the one who has to leave the most because she’s still Paris’ damage control, so like,,,,, ya know.

Mari doesn’t get left behind, at least not on the first day b/c come on people! She has plenty of friends in class watching out for her and a semi-competent teacher who does care even if she’s non-confrontational to a fault.

She does eventually become separated from the group. Half because of Lila and half because she’s always fucking late and got distracted.

She actually runs into one of the civilian batfam in the first place because the class was allowed an hour or so to wander around the shopping district or whatever to explore/buy things/get food. They just needed to return to the meetup spot at a certain time but Mari is like ten minutes away when it’s five minutes to the meetup

So she’s just… fucking booking it and completely takes out this trained vigilante without trying to.

Mari, as she’s groaning on the ground, tangled around a boy: By Kwamii, I thought my luck was supposed to be good Tikki.

That or like, the subway doors close before she can get on them and the rest of the class ends up ahead of her leaving her to get caught up on some bullshit in the next train or smth.

Oh, like. Of course it’s her train that gets held hostage. Wonderful.

(Later, Mari will rant at Tikki about her luck. A common conversation between the two tbh.)

This could be where she officially meets the Batfam as the Batfam. Or, like. A couple of em, at least.

Marinette getting serial adopted by the whole goddamn batfamily because i will die for this trope tbh i dont even care

The Robins nickname her Nightingale before they realize she’s Ladybug

They still call her that after but it’s not with the intention of making it her hero name anymore

Her and Alfred are def bros you don’t understand

Actually, Gina and Alfred are old friends. Mari totally knows Alfie before the bat fam and calls him Poppy/Pépé

which floors the batfam because what? Since when does that happen???

Alfred and Mari never, like, actually met in person before, but video chats exist and Gina def talks about the two to each other so it’s like they may as well know each other.

I also like the idea of Alfred being a former holder, probably the peacock. I would adore that

Just,,,, so many fun hero shenanigans

Yeah sure. The batfam are super detectives and have a history of figuring out people’s identities in no time at all. Whatever. Where’s the drama in that though? The showmanship?

Fuck canon, the Miraculous all have glamours because magic bitch and it plays fucking hell on the Batfam and all their shit

Every single Batfam member is simultaneously pulling their hair out because they don’t know who these heroes are???? Why can they figure them out?? Confusion???????

Miraculous team is just…. Straight up laughing at them. The poor dears.

That one gag where it’s a well-known secret that Mari has connections to every Parisian hero and is basically their own personal catering service/comfort place.

Also, it’s the worst kept secret in Paris that Mari is Multimouse

None of the MTeam have confirmed that rumour but they also don’t deny it.

they actually started the rumour. If all of Paris thinks Mari’s the mouse, a temporary hero, no one’s going to think she’s Ladybug/or that she’s an easy target to go after

chloe actually came up with that one

Mari meeting all of Damian’s ‘associates’ (ie pets)

She adores all of them and they her.

Especially GOLIATH, why isn’t he talked about more honestly???? He’s GREAT

She meets Goliath as Ladybug and Robin is just… so done with him??? You are supposed to be a fearsome beast and a professional why are you rolling over and expoSING YOUR STOMACH??? Meanwhile, Ladybug is just: Awww! Who’s a good boy? Who’s the best boy? You are! Look at how handsome you are! Cute widdle baby-

Miraculous Team hanging on the roof of their hotel kinda chilling

Maybe having a debate about doing some free-running/parkour?

Also maybe about whether or not they should be heroes while in Gotham

MT being like, why can’t we go and stop an armed robbery? we can help!

“Gotham already has very active heroes-”

“Vigilantes!”

“-whatever. I don’t want us stepping on any toes. This isn’t our terf and Batman’s known for being strict about Metas rolling around here.”

“We aren’t Metas though.”

“I don’t think he’ll enjoy splitting that particular hair, Nino. Just- not unless lives are at stake, okay? Emergencies only.”

“Yes, Colonel Ladybug.”

This debate most def gets crashed by batfam and confusion ensues upon both sides

batfam didn’t hear anything, they’re just really confused about these french kids hanging out on a roof in Gotham

Just.... yes. all of that. I have like, more but those are not organized or even remotely coherent. here you go! I might write for this but I already have other fics rn so... it wouldn’t be for a while. and as I said, I have no plot.

take this though, i guess. *throws confetti*

[sasa-gay-yo]

Just Us (Chapter Nine: Intimate)

← Chapter Eight

“You’ve improved since I left. Who did you practice with?” He sat on the couch as I showed him the techniques he had taught me a few weeks ago. I wasn’t going to tell him that I wanted it to be perfect for him so I practiced it whenever I could, but I just wanted to be approved by Humanity’s Strongest. He wasn’t the type to baby me and tell me I was good when it wasn’t. On the first few days, he would push me on the couch easily, making sure to mind my ribs. 

“You just need to touch me with the knife. Is it that hard?” 

I probably gained more bruises from the couch than I did from my attackers. If it was anyone normal, I’d probably be able to fend them off, but I guess that wasn’t enough for Levi as he wanted to make sure I could hold my own against someone actually trained to fight. I’d tell him that it wasn’t fair. He had years of experience on any soldier, but he didn’t take my complaint at all. He’d just use that to play with me. I discovered that his version of my teasing was getting me riled up with his insults. 

“I just did it in my kitchen when I took breaks and came back from giving the refugee’s bread. Why? How good am I?” I smiled at him and he smirked, head in the resting on his knee. I knew an insult was going to come in a few seconds. 

“You could probably knock a few first year cadets on the ground. Mostly teenagers half your age.” I glared down at him and put the knife down on my coffee table. 

“Well, I don’t think anyone who’s attacking me in the streets of Trost is going to have the skills of a cadet.” He shrugged and sat back on the couch, his face contracting back to normal. He looked up at the wall and I stood there waiting for him to say something back. I knew there was something wrong when he didn’t give any form of witty reply. It had to be about the meetings in the capital. 

I sat down on my chair, taking the fresh cup of tea I had made. Another reason I knew something was up with Levi is because he hadn’t drank his tea yet. It had been an hour, too. He was even the one to bring back the tea from the capital and I assumed he was excited to drink it, but there sat the cup, untouched. I decided to slide into the topic lightly. 

“How was the capital?” He looked back down at me and switched the leg he had crossed. 

“Boring. We were stuck in long meetings where they didn’t even ask our opinions on the matter. However, that’s usually how it goes.” I nodded and almost frowned at the lack of information he had given me. I’d have to pry it out of him if that was even possible.

“Does Erwin not speak up? He seems to be the type to advocate.” Levi huffed once in laughter and I knew I was wrong. 

“It’s Erwin’s strategy to play diligently to the Royal Government. One day when he needs something, it will be easy to pry it out of their hands if they only have a light grip on him. People generally like him because he is so agreeable.” I set my tea down and lifted my legs to sit criss-crossed in my chair. 

“I’ve never met Erwin, but from what you say about him, I think I know his personality well.” He shook his head and looked back up at the ceiling. 

“You’ll never know Erwin. He’s one of the best strategists I’ve met, but you have no idea what he’s thinking until he says it. It doesn’t help he speaks so cryptically either… when he speaks up.” I rested my head in my hand and knew that this subtle look into Erwin’s personality was mostly from Levi’s frustration. Something happened in the capital that made Levi want to slightly criticize him. I decided I would stop beating around the bush because if I played this way, Levi could easily keep deflecting for hours. It was also no good to just have him sit here for hours and let his frustrations take root in his mind. 

“What happened in the capital?” His eyes snapped to me again, quick to deny anything.

“Nothing. Just meetings. I told you that.” He was lying and the shortness of his answers gave it away.

“I don’t believe that.” He let out a sigh and rested his head in both his hands.

“Stop looking at me like that,” he sighed in frustration. That was the true emotion he was hiding. We were finally getting somewhere.

“If you talk it out with a third party, you might feel better. I know nothing about how the military functions, but-” 

“I can’t tell you. It’s classified.” Oh. I never thought about that possibility until now. I might have made him more frustrated by trying to get him to talk about it when he strictly couldn’t. Levi wasn’t going to break the rules that easily.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I said softly. He didn’t look up, just rolled his head a bit more in his hands, back and forth. It was swallowing him up inside and I just made it worse. Now, I felt awful for doubling the emotion he had to deal with. 

“It’s okay. You didn’t know, Eva.” No, it wasn’t okay. I was scrambling, trying to think of something to make him feel better. If tea wasn’t going to work, then what was? 

I shot up from my chair, looking down at him. His head was still in his hands like he was thinking over and over about the thing I made him think about. He wasn’t supposed to be thinking this hard about work when he was with me. 

When I sat down next to him, he just glanced over to me for a few seconds trying to guess what I was doing. I honestly didn’t know what I was doing or if it would work on him, but I knew what I liked when I got frustrated like this. It was a gamble, but he’d probably go along with it.

“You don’t have to talk about specifically what’s making you frustrated, but I think it’s good to let it out before it eats you up inside. It’ll make you sick if you keep thinking about it.” He didn’t move. 

“It’ll make me sick regardless of if I talk or not.” I decided to put my plan in action and I grabbed his wrists, pulling them towards his right where I sat. He let me move them, but his whole body stayed put. 

“W-what are you d-doing?” I didn’t let go of his wrists. 

“Something I like people to do when I’m frustrated. Will you let me?” He took a deep breath thinking it over, probably having no idea what I was going to do, and took one sharp nod. I smiled and pulled him softly so his head was on my lap and he was looking up at me on his back. He seemed confused. 

“I thought you only did this in your sleep?” 

“I do it whenever I want to. Especially when I’m anxious or frustrated. Have you done this with anyone before?” He didn’t answer, but he did close his eyes probably trying to get comfortable. I laid back against the couch cushion more and admired his face. It was still stiff with frustration, but it made me happy he stayed laying there. I was going to take another risk since this one paid off so well. 

When I put my hand in his hair, his eyes shot open. That was something someone had definitely not done before. I tried to softly massage his scalp with each pass of my hand, getting him to relax further. We stayed like that for a while, just looking at each other, my hand running through his hair nonchalantly. I think he was still trying to decide if he liked it or not. Sometimes I would twist his hair between my fingers, looking for a reaction, but there was none. He just stared at me with those ever intense eyes. 

“You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. I’m just trying to comfort you and make you feel better.” He nodded and that might have been my indication that he was fine with what I was doing. He closed his eyes, letting his guard down, finally, and that’s when it was confirmed he was okay with this. My heart did a little flip and rejoiced in the fact that this mission was a success. He did, in fact, like other humans touch… maybe only mine, but I could easily deal with that. What could I do next? 

“Erwin accepted something that’s incredibly wrong. He stood there like the dutiful servant to the government he is and accepted something awful they pushed on the Scouts. I refused, but was overridden by him and the other sectors of the military. The fact that we’re going to do something like that and be held accountable… I hate it, but I can’t change it.” I couldn’t lie, I wanted to know what it was so I could give my opinion, and maybe make Levi feel better if someone agreed with him. However, I couldn’t be selfish like that in this situation.

“If you don’t do it, will the outcome be worse?” He shrugged.

“Can’t say. Probably. But, it’s not morally sound what we’re going to do.” I could tell he was holding back, probably wanting to lash out at his superiors. He had to hold it in this long, so what else was he holding inside that brain of his? 

“You know you can say what you want here. I’m not going to tell anyone and there’s no one else here. Just us.” I reached down and held his cheek in my hand. He kept his eyes closed, turning his head towards it, almost nuzzling into my touch. I was surprised at his reaction to my touch. 

“I don’t want to fucking do it, but I have to. I have to lead these people to their deaths.” The last sentence was quiet and he let out a long, painful breath after he ended. I wondered if they were going to make the Scouts take back Wall Maria. Whatever they were going to do, it was going to lay heavy on Levi’s conscious and add to the heavy load he was already carrying. 

He grabbed the hand that was on his cheek, just holding it there. He had opened his eyes too. 

“I can tell you what it is, but I don’t want you to be burdened with the truth. I can’t let you feel the way I feel right now. It’ll be too much for you to handle.” I just nodded in understanding and he turned his head back to look up at me. 

“I like this. Cuddling or whatever. It has it’s calming effects.” I beamed down at him, happy that my plan worked. I may not have actually helped him in the long run, but it made him feel better in the present. If only I could find out how to lighten the load more. 

“I’m glad you like it. There’s many more ways to do it if you’d like to try those.” He laughed a bit.

“I’m not that dumb. I know how to do it, I’m just not inclined to seek out human touch.” He sat up and stared at me for a second, “I want to do something though.” He sat there waiting for me to answer. 

“O-oh, uh, okay, yes. You can. You don’t always have to ask.” He lifted his arm closest to me, holding it there. It seemed to take him a few more moments to gather the confidence before grabbing my head and almost shoving it into his chest. His other arm went behind me to support the position. I was basically just leaning on his body sideways. I don’t know why I blushed so hard because of it. I’ve been in this position with Jonas and a lot of other people too. Maybe it was because Levi initiated it and I could hear his heart running a million meters a minute. He put his other hand on my hair, petting it. 

“I-Is this o-okay?” He was stuttering again, looking down at me. I knew he was blushing again too. It was funny. Two grown adults were getting heart attacks from holding each other. For Levi, it was excusable. This was his first time holding someone like this. This was probably his first time acting on his feelings for someone too. For me, I’ve had a relationship before and am a naturally touchy person. There was no reason to be this… giddy when Levi held me than it being Levi. That could be why. He was never like this with anyone but me. That makes it more special. 

“In a few minutes, it might not be, but I’m fine now.” He nodded and was just looking down at me. In this position, I couldn’t look anywhere by to my left outside the window. I felt his eyes on me still.

“It’s your turn to have your brain picked,” he stated and I noted how his chest vibrated with his deep voice. I pressed my ear in closer.

“About?” He took his hand off my head and lifted my hand up to his face. I had ran out of the lotion he had given me, but he made sure to buy two as he just returned from Mitras. This hiatus had made them dry again. 

“The Underground girl with burned hands and the old man that had faith in her.” I laughed once and he place my hand back on my lap. 

“How long have you been wanting to ask me about that?” 

“Since you said it, but I assumed it would be off limits. Now that you told me I could say anything, I’d extend the same to you.” I smiled. Such restraint he had. 

“Only if you promise to tell me about your life in the Underground soon.” He didn’t even take time to think before nodding. He really wanted to know about me… that was nice and different. Most people wanted me to hide the fact I was from the Underground. It makes sense that he would want to know. I wonder if he wanted to compare our experiences about the same world we grew up in.

“I was born in the Underground to some woman I don’t know. My father, I’ve only seen once, but he gave me up to my Aunt. I have no idea what he does or where he is now, and I don’t really care about it either. My Aunt didn’t really like me either, I was an inconvenience, so she sent me to an orphanage a few years after she got me. That’s the closest I had to a family in the Underground. You know no one adopts orphans there, so we all knew we’d be there for the long run, and formed a little pack.” He shifted so he could look me in the eyes as I told my story. 

“What orphanage?” I shrugged my shoulders. My time in the Underground was still filled with holes or trauma that my child brain couldn’t understand. Slowly, I would gain back my memory through dreams or sensations, but there were still a lot of pieces missing.

“It was attached to a church, but I couldn’t tell you the name. If we ever went back, I could point it out to you.” He nodded and looked up like he was thinking of the vague place I told him. We would never be going back.

“I got into a group with the older girls and we would sneak out at night. Little did I know they were in an actual street gang, but I guess most everyone there was. One night these girls didn’t come back. I was sick, so I was in the infirmary when they left, but when I went back to the normal room, they weren’t there anymore. I stayed up night after night, hoping they would sneak back in, but they never did. I was probably ten at this point and I snuck out to go find them since that was my family. I knew where the gang was located so I stupidly went to ask them. That’s the first time I was beaten up. They were probably fourteen or fifteen. After that, I felt lost I guess. No one guides you in the orphanage, the people who were like family to me disappeared, my real family was gone, and so I would just keep going out at night alone, just trying to find some sensation.” He shook his head. 

“You kept getting beaten up at night and you never thought to learn how to protect yourself?” It wasn’t like he was judging me, but it was more of a slight insult. He knew how it was in the Underground and he knew how stupid I was. He was also probably surprised at my decision to the problem everyone in the Underground faces: Eat or be eaten. I chose the latter.

“Maybe I wanted to get beat up for something to do. To feel something. You know how they talk about Underground teens. Once they get older, they start to realize the actual trauma that happened in their lives. I was definitely abused by my Aunt and her kids, but I was so young it took me too long to realize it to be able to process it correctly. Then, about that time you also try to go up to the surface for the first time and get beat up by the MPs guarding the openings. You think, well if no one in the Underground wants me because I’m an orphan, and no one wants to let me up above, then what am I even doing here in this world? Why did I get dropped in this shitty place? I wasn’t gang material either, as you can clearly tell, so I just wandered like the rest with no goal. I was even called the orphanage’s problem child. They’d kick me out once I got of age if I didn’t change, that was their warning to me sneaking out and coming back with cuts and bruises.” He snorted at that, probably finding it hilarious that that’s how I used to be. Compared to my attitude now, no one would have believed that I’d lost hope in life at such a young age.

 “One day, I wandered into the wrong place and some gangster thought it would be fun to dip my hands into an oil can fire. I probably laid in that alleyway for a good few days, just withering in pain and watching my skin fall off. With no sun or moon to indicate the time, the says just blurred together. I realized that this is probably what happened to the other girls at the orphanage and so I accepted that as my fate too. It’s not like I had anyone who would miss me. That’s when this old man came up to me and gave me some water. He wrapped my hands up in his jacket and without a word, he took me up to the surface. Of course I followed. He was the first person to show me any type of regard and he fed me and gave me a dress. I never had clothes of my own, just hand-me-downs. That person was Mr. Flynn and he seemed to have a reputation of saving kids from the Underground. I can’t tell you why he chose me or why he did what he did, but I never left his side after that. You find someone who finally cares about you and you want to stay next to them forever. You’re afraid of what will happen if they ever abandon you like the others did.” He nodded, probably knowing exactly what I was talking about. I wondered if he had any friends or people in the Underground he was attached to in that way.

“Where are the other children he saved?” I stood up and went over to the bookshelf where I kept all the portraits. I handed him the drawing of all five of us and pointed out the people while sitting back down. This was the last year-end we had together, and we knew that Mr. Flynn would soon pass away, so we decided to pay for a proper portrait for all of us to have. It was our gift to Mr. Flynn. 

“I was the last and the youngest. He was getting way too old to go up and down and take care of the café all at once. This is Mr. Flynn and I. This man here is the first person Mr. Flynn saved. It’s Jonas’s father, Benjamin. I never lived with him, but he’s the nicest and still treats me like his little sister. Jonas thinks it’s kind of weird,” I moved my finger over to the tall, blonde woman with thinner eyes, “This woman is Catrin and she left a year-and-a-half after I came. She was nice and the only other girl, so we bonded as much as we could. She lives in Stohess now with her husband. You can see, she’s pregnant in this picture. They have a daughter named Kati,” I pointed, lastly, to the person who was sitting next to me in the picture, “Next is Duran. He joined the MPs a while back, but I haven’t seen him since this picture. He’s only a year older than me, but the least liked by all of us. He’s kind of stuck up and was a tattletale… probably why he joined the MPs. He tried to follow me around and get me in trouble with Mr. Flynn.” Levi surveyed the drawing, laughing lightly, probably seeing if he recognized anyone in it. I’m sure he’d probably met Duran at least once in his time at the capital. If Levi went to cadet training, he would have been in the same class. 

“Did Mr. Flynn’s name start with an A?” I smiled and nodded. He was a nice old man, but a very, very plain one.

“He wasn’t a very creative man. When he gave us a new name, he’d only think about it for a few minutes. Catrin helped name me.” He quickly looked back up to me, a bit of mystery filling his eyes. 

“Then what’s your real name?” He smirked down at him in response. This could be a fun game to play.

“You’ll never know.” He let out a groan of protest. 

“You can’t just hid-” I cut him off as I sat back down and put my head back on his chest. I placed the picture in his lap as I was still talking about everyone.

“Anyways, this was the last time we ever got together as a big group. We use to do it for year end to exchange gifts, but after Mr. Flynn died, I said I’d take over the café and none of them came back. It wasn’t there favorite thing growing up, forced to work at the café, but I loved it. This was about three years ago now. I’ve visited Catrin twice to see my niece and I see Ben a lot. I don’t care for Duran, especially with that stick shoved up his ass. Sinc us two came from the roughest situations, we used to fight and get kicked out of the bakery for a day because Mr. Flynn couldn’t handle us and our pent up trauma.” He put the drawing down and leaned back on the couch again, giving me more room to lean against him. 

“You seem to be to carry on Mr. Flynn’s legacy. Taking in little kids with desperate or bad situations. Elias, June, whoever that refugee boy is...” 

“That’s nice of you to say. I was the one who was attached to Mr. Flynn the most, so it makes sense for me to want to do things like that. Take on the bakery, help the kids... He taught me how nice the world can be, too, not just cruel and lonely. I just want to show that to others I guess.” He put his arm around me again, this time without hesitation. We were back to our original position. 

“Did you ever learn why he saved all of you?” I shook my head and closed my eyes. This scene was practically the perfect domestic dream. Here I was on my couch, cuddling up to Captain Levi, talking of random things about my family. It was actually better than I dreamed it up to be. If only I had a drawing of this moment. 

“It probably had to do with his wife dying before they could have kids. He found Ben wandering the streets alone a few months after Mrs. Flynn died. I guess maybe he just made a habit of it. Catlin was found in a brothel and Duran on the streets in the Underground like I was. I was the only one permanently injured apparently.” He took my hand in his, flipping it over to look at the front and back. I never thought he could be so… intimate like this. 

“How did he die?” 

“Old age. It was his time to go when he did. He was almost ninety-five. I was a wreck when he died. I think I cried for three days straight and had to stay with Ben because he’s the most like Mr. Flynn. No one but Ben could calm me down. It was nice though, the weeks after random people would just come into the café and share stories about him. He was a troublemaker when he was young. Perhaps that’s what drew him to Duran and I.” He squeezed my hand when he saw my sad look at the frame. I guess he was a fast learner on comforting people.

“To think you were a troublemaker… I guess it fits your personality.” I turned to look at him. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“You don’t think I heard the countless comments about my height you made to Jonas the first time I met you? That table isn’t far away from your counter. Insulting a military captain can get you in trouble.” I put a hand over my mouth and started to laugh. 

“Why didn’t you report me then? Too shocked someone would say things like that so close to you?”

“I guess I should’ve known then that you like to run your mouth. If you were one of my cadets, I’d have you running laps everyday for disrespecting your officers.” I pulled a disgusted face and shook my head. 

“Absolutely not. Even practicing this knife stuff has me winded. Don’t get me wrong, I’m kinda strong. I can lift those big bags of flour and…” I paused, thinking of what else I could do. 

“And?” He pressed. 

“There’s just too many things I can do. I can’t list all of them.” He rolled his eyes and shifted again, this time pulling my legs over his so our bodies were perpendicular. My back leaned on the arm of the couch, but his arm was also there to support me. 

“Starting tomorrow morning, I’m going to be gone for a while,” he looked down at me, suddenly more serious than before. I frowned, noting he had just gotten back from the capital this morning, but I knew I couldn’t be that selfish with our time. 

“How long?” He shrugged and lifted his hand to play with my hair just like I did to him. He was back to comfort mode once he had dropped this news to me.  

“I’m training the cadets for the maneuver we’re doing at the start of the year and there are more meetings here and in the capital. I also have some things I have to do for Erwin. It’s hard to say but three months minimum is my estimate.” My frown didn’t leave by face, but I sighed and nodded. No one had predicted that Wall Maria would fall, so there’s no way to control the volume of work the Scouts have. Especially Captain of the Scouts. 

“Can you at least wake me up when you leave tomorrow? I’ll say goodbye to you.” He nodded and I rested my head on his shoulder.  

“I’m sorry, I should have told you about it when I got here. Then I might have spared you the feelings you’re having right now.” My face went into a confused look and I didn’t look up at him. I was trying to think through what he meant by that. Was he referring to the sadness I was feeling about him being gone for so long? 

“Feeling what?”

“You know, whatever this is. Sitting here, holding each other; the feeling of being close. Now, you’ll have to wait months to feel it again because I’ll be gone.” I sensed that he was voicing his own feelings now, but I didn’t press him about it. 

“It’s called intimacy. The feeling of being close and wanting to be close to another person. And yes, I’ll miss it, but that doesn’t mean I can’t savor it now. It will make me want it more when you come back, too.” 

“I… I have that feeling as well.” I reached up and put a hand on his cheek, pulling him to look at me. 

“I’m glad you’re sharing your feelings with me now. I don’t have to guess anymore.” He glanced down at my lips once and on the inside I almost screamed. Was he going to do it? 

I had concluded that he had never been kissed in that manner before, if ever, and that’s why he was so confused and shocked the first time I did it. He didn’t know what to say or think and it short circuited his brain. Sleeping in the same bed together probably would end in the same result if I forced it on him. So, I silently vowed to myself that anything that intimate, I’d let him initiate it. That would let me know right away if he was comfortable or not, at least this early on. Once I knew what he was comfortable and uncomfortable with emotion and feeling wise, then it would be easier to read what he wants or needs in a situation. This cuddling was a huge gamble, but it seemed to pay off. 

He looked back up at me and closed his eyes. He didn’t move forward any and I just sat there in wait. 

“I want to do it, but I think if I did it now, it would be harder to leave. I can’t be thinking things like that when I’m training Scouts to fight titans.” Understandable, but, ugh, if I hadn’t taken that vow I would have leaned in by now. Longing for something you’ve already experienced is better than not having it at all. That was my conclusion. 

“I don’t agree, but I guess I understand you.” He pulled my head in and rested my chin on his shoulder. His arms slowly went around me and I realized he was hugging me, one arm on my waist, the other holding my head. I wrapped my hands around his torso a few seconds after, closing my eyes and taking in his scent so I wouldn’t forget it. 

“You should give me this shirt so I have something to remember you by. If you’re going to be gone for so long, I might just forget you.” He snorted and pulled me back so he could look at me in annoyance. 

“Why would I give you my shirt? I don’t have another one. And, you didn’t forget me the last three… where are you going?” I hopped up and went into my room, digging around the the only set of drawers I had. I recently washed it so it had to be folded in here somewhere.

“Ah, ha!” I yelled and walked out of my room with the shirt in my hands. I threw it at him and he caught it, unfolding it. His face looked even more annoyed once he realized what he was holding. 

“You can have that one back. Now give me,” I said holding out my hands to him. He sighed and stood up, turning his back to me, before unbuttoning and taking off his shirt. Well… he didn’t have to turn around. Annoying. 

“You can see that when I get back since you look so sad.” My eyes went wide and I didn’t know he was looking at me. Damnit, he got a blush point. When did he get so confident? I’d have to think of something to say back. I couldn’t let him win. Before I could, he tossed the button up over my head. I pulled it off, glaring at him playfully. 

“Hm, it’s not big enough to sleep in, so I guess I’ll just have to wear in to work. Hopefully, it doesn't get dirty.” He clenched his jaw. 

“Where’s my gift? I’ve been so generous with you, giving you the clothes off my back... That portrait,” he pointed to a portrait that Mr. Flynn had drawn of me by a street vendor, “I want it.” The drawing was me, at the age of twelve, fresh out of the Underground. I looked annoyed and my hair was a mess, and I remember it was around the time Mr. Flynn was trying to teach me to like being above ground. Obviously, by the annoyed look on my face, I wasn’t enjoying standing there waiting for someone to draw me. It was an ugly drawing and he had no business wanting it. 

“Absolutely not. Pick something else.”

“No, I want that. It’s not a big request. I want you with me.” I rolled my eyes at him and I knew the only reason he wanted it now was to annoy me. I couldn’t let it happen. 

“You said you couldn’t even carry money with you. How are you supposed to fold that up and take it with?” He shrugged and advanced towards it. I put myself in between him and the drawing. 

“I’ll manage. Maybe, I’ll put it on my desk so I can look at it every day.” I glared at him again and even he couldn’t hide that evil laugh of his. I had to think of some way to redirect him. I looked around and saw his cape hanging by the door. Perfect. 

“Well, if you want me to be with you all the time, then here,” I walked over and grabbed his cape, and now it was his turn to be cautious of what I was doing. 

“What are you doing with my cape?” I walked to the kitchen and pulled out the thread from the junk drawer, going to work. The thread was black, so it wouldn’t be very noticeable on the dark green of the cape. It was a quick four stitches before he could walk over and try to grab it from me. I tied off the knot and handed it back to him. 

“It’s what we used to do to our clothes to make sure no one stole them. We claimed them as ours.” He picked up the bottom edge of the cape and looked at the letter. 

“This isn’t your cape.” I leaned over the edge of the kitchen island and smirked up at him. 

“No, but you’re mine. So I’m just marking that.” He scoffed, but kept looking at the tiny letter. It wasn’t noticeable at all unless you knew what you were looking for it, “Now you can’t get rid of that cape. You have to keep it forever.”

“M?” My smirk got wider and I had just given him a tiny in on my biggest secret. 

“The first letter of my real name.” 

Chapter Ten →

Chapter Masterlist

xx Just a little fluff and plot devices

[garrothromeave]

the hell is mystreet season 6??

(warning, long post ahead)

ok so before i start this

1) ive never posted shiiiit on tumblr before so watch me suffer, im just here to talk about stuff that my friends who dont know anything about aphmau have to listen to me rant about for hours on end

2) i havent seen mystreet in like years (except season 3, i watch that frequently since im laurance and shadow knight deprived) so please bear with me because i might be completely wrong on this lol. it’s just like, pointing out things i remember

3) im sure someones already talked about this but who cares

4) im gonna do this stupid thing where i just explain myself a bit at first, if you dont want to read that just skip to the part where you see “the actual thingy:” in bold and italics 

5) mild disclaimer; i am completely aware that jessica is not a professional writer. i know that she did her best to appeal to her fans, and honestly, respect for that. while this post will come off as aggressive and probably look like hate, that’s not my intention in the slightest. it’s just... intense criticism. im sure y’all probably already know that, but yeah, just stating that anyways. i do believe that jess is doing her best, and in no way do i want to dismiss any hard work she’s done. that being said; prepare for a very strongly opinionated post.

haha watch there be 10000+ typos in this making me look like a complete dumbass

ok here we go 

one of the main reasons i stopped watching aphmau back in 2017 was the mess that was season 4. like, in the first few episodes of the emerald secret, i thought “woah!! this is kinda cool, im a sucker for mystery!” because of course i was, it was something new and something exciting. the only problem i had with it at the time was kim, but that’s just because i always found her annoying and out of place. i just didn’t understand why garroth dragged her along and honestly i still don’t to this day BUT, moving on.

anyways, as the season progressed, 13 year old me was of course just “:0!!” the entire time--that is, up until the reveal of the main villain. i remember watching the episode, seeing the reveal of ein, and then stopping. like, just for a quick break, but i was still just overwhelmingly disappointed. like, and this was the time when pdh was airing and ein just got made alpha (i think?) and i had really really liked eins character in pdh. either way, that really sucked and actually opened my eyes to a lot of things.

one of the main things bein’ the fact that this was supposed to be a slice of life kinda series that decided to take a turn to a more edgy kinda approach. which, i guess i regularly wouldnt mind? but seeing as mcd was kinda bein neglected at the time it just didnt sit right with me. BUT WHATEVER, point is i stopped watching mystreet all together at the end of season 4.

like, a whole year later my brother tells me that shit’s getting intense in season 5 + 6 of mystreet, and my brilliant self decided to give it a shot--but i refused to watch all of season 5, so i only stepped in when ein made an appearance. so whenever that was, that’s where i picked up because i didnt care enough to see 

and y’know--i honestly didn’t hate it at first. in fact, i found it oddly cool. it wasn’t enough to get me into aphmau again, but it was enough to where i was intrigued. i dont know why, but i never watched the finale, so i didnt see the ending until just a few weeks ago--but back then, i thought it was neat. looking back on it however... im just so confused. 

side note: only got back into aphmau this time around because of mcd. mainly because like, i adore the first season and the first half of the second season. and being nearly 18 now, im a lot more appreciative of plot and well-written characters n junk. 

the actual thingy:

ok back on track. imma stop spilling out my story of how i got back into aphmau, and lets just skip to what rewatching mcd made me realize of season 6′s plot and shit:

-emmalyn. how the fuck does ghost even remotely exist? if she’s emmalyn as claimed, then why have we already seen emmalyn in the mystreet universe alive? look i get that creators can do whatever they want with their stories but at the same time please provide some sort of explanation good god. and maybe they did and i just havent seen it, so if there is one--let me know. but until that day imma just sit here confused as fuck

-ok so imma just be real, the whole ‘ultima’ thing is just... not great. in my opinion, anyways. like... i saw someone mention this in another post, but if this ultima stuff was like, a really big deal, why isnt it mentioned in mcd? though i suppose since its a curse of sorts, it could be later on past the time period in which mcd takes place--but even then, how did it manage to make its way into aaron’s family bloodline? 

-WHY IS EVERYONE AT STARLIGHT ITS JUST SO CONVINIENT like what happened to this place being the most expensive shit on the planet or whatever, and how the gang happens to run into like, the werewolf trio and blaze and kai and guy and nate all of these people like god damn life doesnt WORK LIKE THAT 

-im sorry but turning people into relics? thats... thats the best you could come up with? plus, like, how does that even work? in mcd it’s established that relics are separate entitles that choose their wielder, based on a ‘personal’ connection (being a descendent of a previous wielder) or if they’re a good match personality and (i think?) moral wise. so the whole turning-people-into-relics doesnt make much sense to be honest. 

-irene really over here using her god powers to only keep her friends alive like god damn not a great god if you ask me 

-can i talk about how incredibly predictable aphmaus death was? like i just kinda sat there waiting for it to happen and when it did i literally went “haha! wonder when she’ll be revived” because god forbid we actually kill off characters 

-when aphmau + demon warlock fought in the irene dimension there was no passage of time whatsoever in the real world whiiiiiiiiich really bothers me because they fought in there for at least a few minutes

-speaking of aphmau and the demon warlocks fight does it bother anyone else that it had to be aaron who took over the fight?? like we get it hes the big protector blah blah blah but god damn it wouldve been cooler if aphmau had fought this battle as her. aaron fighting this battle was so underwhelming

-...love. like, thats the only thing thats needed to break out of a forever potion? love? LIKE YEAH, GOOD GUYS GOTTA WIN SOMEHOW, but its just so cliche and overdoneeee

-oh yeah and also when travis went bonkers and became the demon warlock or whatever, why’d he only take over katelyn and garroth?? like, zane had been influenced by the potions in the past as well? DONT GET ME WRONG--i do love some good brother edge, but uh, the demon warlock was just bein kinda a dumbass by not possessing zane too just sayin’

-can aaron please go to fucking jail for mass murder now like holy shit, he just got sent home on a fuckin boat. also why did blaze forgive him for killing him thats not even remotely realistic. then again, nothing in mystreet has ever been realistic when it comes to characters and motives and personalities, (cough katelyn being actually abusive and travis being an actual pervert) but yknow whatever

-katelyn and kawaii chan literally added nothing to the plot whatsoever. like lets be real, katelyn lost her personality the moment season 5 started and kawaii chan just kinda sits there :I

-ok im sorry this was bound to come up but cmon guys imagine laurances potential if he was in season 6 like god damn this is beyond maddening. AND YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A REALLY REALLY COOL PARRALLEL?? IF IT WAS LAURANCE WHO SNAPPED GARROTH OUT OF HIS MIND CONTROL THING, because it would mimic laurance’s speech to get garroth to snap out of his rage in season 1, episode 100 of minecraft diaries. like how fuckin rad would that have been? missed opportunity 

-also?? why does kim/ghost know magicks?? like, if i remember correctly, emmalyn is a scholar--not someone who knew magicks. i mean, i guess research? study?? but its been established that knowing how magicks works =/= being able to use magicks. i dunno, just doesnt seem right i guess. maybe its explained, i wouldnt know (yes i know that makes me look like a dick leave me alone)

-melissa should have stayed dead. LIKE, NO, ITS NOT AS SIMPLE AS “haha it takes more than a few bullets to kill me”??? look ive got nothing wrong with melissa (cough lie cough) but yknow it would have just been cool a character... stay dead? for once? its just too fuckin cliche that shes alive god damn

-can i also just say the only good thing that came out of season 6 was travis’ dads sacrifice like damn that made me actually sad

-howww was lucinda turned into a relic. or yknow, anyone else? like im sure they explain it better in the actual show i just dont remember, but its just that easy? turning anyone into a relic? granted, a normal person wouldnt be able to produce a good relic, but idk man. IM JUST SAYING; that the only really powerful relics that aphmau should have been able to wield is the one that aaron + zane produced because shad relic and esmund relic moment. lucinda isnt even like, connected to a divine warrior. ALSO, another point, if its seriously that powerful of a relic getting one from just a magic user like lucinda, why go through the trouble? i mean i guess ofc youd want the “all powerful” one that the ultima produces but i mean damn whats the point

-ok this is just going to bother me but in one of the episodes (i think might have been in season 5 actually) where that like, guardian dude was chasing aphmau and zane and at one point they split up and the dude just chuckles at zane diverting paths and goes under his breath “youre not the important one here”, suggesting that aphmau somehow is? first of all, id argue that any ro’meave is significantly more important than aphmau was, especially not knowing much about her other than that shes with aaron. i might be missing some bits an pieces, but if i was that dude id forget about aphmau and go after zane 

-killing off derek for shock factor sucked, and i know the moment was supposed to be really sad because like “oh :( aarons dad is sacrificing himself for his son” but lets be real dereks still was a shitty father and i dont think his reasons for doing what he did was very good at all

-less about plot or more like: why the absolute fuck did the gang bring kim along instead of, oh i dont know, a life-long friend? like, laurance or dante maybe?? im sure its explained, i never saw aphmaus year or most of season 5, but god DAMN id hate to be apart of this friend group AND GOD LIKE, imagine reconnecting with an old friend who ends up getting closer to your best friends and taking priority in their lives over you (cough laurance) like god damn lol

-im just going to preface this one with: i dont remember everything that’s happened, so if im wrong i apologize in advance--but (you actually can correct me if im wrong and please do) didnt like, irene reincarnate her friends in order to give them better lives? I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS TRUE, ITS JUST WHAT I REMEMBER--however, if im correct, then:

a. why the hell would she bring back someone like zane, or gene, or ivy, etc.

b. why the hell do they all have the same exact names? first and last? again, im aware that the whole mystreet+mcd tie wasn’t originally supposed to be there, but i dont think that means such a coincidence can be excused? its just a bit much if you ask me.

c. why the hell is the fact that (as much as i literally hate this) aaron is a decedent of shad being ignored? like, you’d think that something like this would be something thats actually important, or something the demon warlock couldve taken advantage of. or are we completely erasing every other connections to divine warriors besides aphmau + irene? because even if irene did reincarnate them or do whatever it is she did, does she even have the power to sever the connections between them and their ancestors? my guess is, no.

d. speaking of irene why on earth was aphmau able to talk to/see irene, they’re literally the same person are they not? did she like, fuckin reincarnate herself without actually doing it?? BUT--i will give it to them, the demon warlock did refer to aphmau as something along the lines of being “one of the 3 parts of her broken soul” or something like that. however, my point still remains. also what are the other two did i miss that or is it never explained

now; if irene in fact did not ‘reincarnate’ her friends then please ignore that little bit right there :)

but yes, those are a few of the problems i have with season 6 off the top of my head. i would go into like, season 4 and 5 more as well, but i honestly didnt feel like it. at some point i might go into other things, like how important laurance could have been to the plot of these later seasons, or HELL, even dante. i might also go into what could have made season 4, 5, and 6 actually good--maybe... a rewrite? perhaps? but im getting too far ahead of myself, so i just leave you with this for now.

and i know that as soon as i post this 15 more things are just going to pop into my head BUT im going to try and not edit this post because why stress myself with that even more

anyways thank you for coming to my tedtalk 

[themadauthorshatter]

OTP Parent Headcanons!!!!!!

I'm focusing on Red Queen, SGE, and Nightmare Before Christmas, specifically in that order.

It's Valentine's Day, I'm bored, so here's a random OTP Parent post😅

Red Queen:

Cal cried when Shade and Coriane were born. Mare laughs thinking about it because she'd never seen him cry like he did before.

Mare taught them how to be quick with their hands and feet; old habits die hard.

Cal allows them to WATCH when he builds something, but not exactly help. It's nothing personal, he just doesn't want them to get hurt.

Neither ask "Why?" whenever told to do something because Cal gave them really scary "stop it" eyes.

They do as they're told.

Coriane has the Barrow's warm brown skin and Shade is just as pale as his father.

Mare occasionally lets them get away with murder.

When they were young, Cal would tell them they were going to get icecream whenever they had to go to the dentist. In their adolescence, both still get skeptical when the family ACTUALLY goes out to get icecream.

These two are fast and strong, joining their parents in training/workouts.

Neither bring up Uncle Maven. It's an unspoken agreement between them.

Catch for Cal and Shade is just them tossing a ball of fire to each other. The only time they use a real ball when it's Mare, Coriane, Cal, and Shade all playing together. There are no teams.

Cal had a heart attack when Coriane contemplated getting a tattoo. He saw his life flash before his eyes when Shade started examining his arms and wondering if he'd look good with some ink.

Cal and Mare are open with and accepting towards their children, Cal especially due to his grandfather having been a homosexual and his brother having been bisexual.

Mare is better about talking about her brother Shade, who her son Shade wishes he could've met. She agrees.

Mare left and came home and saw the uoung Shade and Coriane asleep on Cal's chest and shoulder, Cal also asleep.

Ruth WOULD NOT leave them alone when Coriane was born. It got a little better when Shade was born, but Mare literally had to tell her to leave them alone for a little bit.

School for Good and Evil:

Tedros was not allowed to see Agtha while their child was being delivered; the nurse didn't want him fainting or freaking out and causing Agatha stress.

It took two hours, but the baby was delivered and healthy for a newborn.

Agatha almost refused to let Tedros hold their son because she already loved him so much.

He had his father's golden hair and his mother's dark brown eyes, giving him a sharp, defined look.

Tedros made sure he would raise his son and be there for him.

He was.

Agatha was very good at teaching him how to read and write.

The kid has one hell of a throwing arm.

He's good with a sword, but he's better with a spear.

When people first see him, they say he's ugly. Upon closer inspection, and a longer look, they see his beauty.

Aunt Sophie keeps trying to get Agatha and Tedros to enroll him in the SGE. They have both agreed and told her that the more she nags them, the more they'll consider homeschooling, Agatha already buying textbooks that would ACTUALLY teach the boy something useful.

Sophie cannot leave this kid alone because she sees so much of her sister and friend in him.

He once called Aunt Sophie "Uncle Filip," and Sophie almost burst into tears when Agatha started cackling and Tedros.exe stopped working.

He likes cats and dogs.

Can't keep his hands off Uncle Hort's hair; it's just so warm!!!

Nightmare Before Christmas:

The only time Jack skipped Halloween was when he was spending time with his triplets.

Sally giggles at the mini Jacks that follow her and their father.

The mayor isn't as fussy with Jack as he used to be now that Jack has "cut it out" eyes. His aren't as scary as Cal's, because he doesn't want to traumatize his children, but it gets the job done.

Sally's better with discipline.

All three freaked out when Jack took off his head in front of them.

All three are beautiful singers.

There was a mishap in Dr. Finkelstein's office, and let's just say that he had red hair before going unconscious, and woke up with black hair 3 hours later. He forgot how it happened, but when he woke up, he smiled like a frazy person and said, proud and full of vigor from where he lay on the floor, on his back, "That was awesome."

Jack refuses to let any of his children go near Lock, Shock, and Barrel.

These were their first reactions to seeing snow for the first time: Fear and confusion, "I can't move in this, I'm cold, let me back inside!", and leaned forward and fell face first into the snow.

Sally never questions that Jack is a amart person, but she has genuinely worried that all three triplets inherited his critical thinking skills when one triplet ran into the wall and walked away like nothing happened, another spent five minutes trying to think of the word bagpipe, and the third drew put a plan to build a trebuchet so she could go to the moon.

Her worries were stemmed when one spelled the word arachnophobia correct on the first try, another picked up the correct herbs for a soup, and the third watched Jack do his self combustion, pumpkin king dance and said to Sally, "That's really dangerous."

All the same, she kept an eye and ear out for them.

Zero loves all three of these little nightmares.

Jack will not hesitate to go into attack mode if you get too close to his children.

An additional note with all three dads: Touch their babies, and they will kill you. None of them would even imagine raising a hand against their children.

[songofclarity]

What do you think would happen if WRH discovered MY was a spy earlier? Would he kill him or would he pretend he has no idea of MY's truth while using him and feeding him information that will give the Wen an advantage against the SSC if leaked?

An excellent question, Anon!

Wen RuoHan would of course be fully justified to kill Meng Yao. While he also had the right to kill Nie MingJue and didn't take it, Meng Yao is betraying the Wen and has the arrogance to spy on them in their own home. I can honestly see it going either way, however, depending on the circumstances and just how Meng Yao pleads his case.

As for using Meng Yao themselves...

For one thing, Wen RuoHan doesn't strike me as conniving. From the guest cultivator to Meng Yao, we see him listening to others and following their lead. When given the opportunity to pave his own path, such as when the Sunshot Campaign is declared and the Wen could stomp on everyone, his response was, basically, for them all to do nothing and wait for the Sunshot Campaign to simply blow over. Wen RuoHan doesn't want the other sects to be destroyed, he wants everything to go back to normal (with the Wen Sect back on top, yay!). By all means then, what Meng Yao's spying would have to win them is peace. That's not something Meng Yao of all people could help them achieve.

For another thing, Meng Yao was, by all means, a terrible spy on purpose. One reason there is not even a hint of any great final battles in the Sunshot Campaign was because Meng Yao did not want this to be a team effort. No one is winning ANY grand battles with Meng Yao behind enemy lines because how do you give credit to an invisible hand? He did not want the sects to win the Sunshot Campaign with or without his information, but he did not want them defeated, either, otherwise his efforts would be wasted. Depending on what was happening at the time and what information he was passing along, it might just look like he was already feeding information to the Sunshot Campaign himself to help the Wen. How loyal he would have appeared!

I haven't seen it talked about before, but let's look at what Meng Yao's spy information actually did and how it would have looked to the Wen.

During the Sunshot Campaign, stories were told about all three of the Venerated Triad. The ones of ChiFeng-Zun were about how he swept over all obstacles, leaving not even a trace of the Wen-dogs after he finished. (ch. 48, ERS)

Whatever information Meng Yao provided Nie MingJue would have been tenuous at best because otherwise Nie MingJue would have swept all the way to Nightless City and won the whole damn thing himself. Give Nie MingJue an opening and he is busting through. Even when critically injured and barely on his feet, he cut through all of Wen cultivators who tried to protect Wen RuoHan in the Sun Palace. Only Wen RuoHan was strong enough to take him down (and did so 2x).

Even before the false information regarding Yangquan, Meng Yao was likely providing information which hindered Nie MingJue and the Nie's advancement toward Nightless City in order to keep Nie MingJue at bay--and keep him alive, which Lan XiChen would appreciate and continue to give faith in Meng Yao. Remember that after Meng Yao betrayed Nie MingJue and the Jin at Langya, there was no way he would be accepted back with open arms. That Nie MingJue's most loyal subordinates are killed and Nie MingJue is dragged out of the Sun Palace owing Meng Yao a life debt is no happy coincidence. Meng Yao played Nie MingJue in the worst way to ensure Nie MingJue would NOT be able to stop Meng Yao's return to Koi Tower. But to let Nie MingJue die would ruin relations with Lan XiChen and the Nie. Nie MingJue had to be defeated to let Meng Yao come out on top, but he had to live so as to not reflect badly on Meng Yao.

If Wen RuoHan and the Wens came across Meng Yao's information to the Nie early on, it might just look like Meng Yao is already feeding bad information to the Sunshot Campaign himself! After all, the only ones who knew what happened in Langya are Meng Yao, Nie MingJue, and Lan XiChen, and none of them are broadcasting it. Therefore Meng Yao could pretend to still be on good terms with Sect Leader Nie, tell Wen RuoHan he is deceiving the Nie for him, and actually look even more loyal to the Wen in the end.

The way Wen RuoHan asks Meng Yao if Nie MingJue is the one who killed Wen Xu followed by Meng Yao's ready confirmation suggests to me that Meng Yao had everything from Yangquan to the Sun Palace planned. He had informed Wen RuoHan of what to expect already: Wen Xu's killer, and thus Wen RuoHan inquires. Meng Yao didn't wait for the Wens to use him and freely gave them what they wanted since it's what he wanted, too.

ZeWu-Jun--Lan XiChen--however, was different from [ChiFeng-Zun]. After the situation of the Gusu area had settled down, Lan QiRen was able to defend it with great tenacity. Thus, Lan XiChen often traveled to aid others, saving lives from danger. In all of the Sunshot Campaign, he had countless times recovered lost territory and assisted narrow escapes. This was why people were ecstatic whenever they heard his name, as though they gained a ray of hope, a powerful trump card. (ch. 48)

Lan XiChen is different because he not a fighter who can win the Sunshot Campaign. I know CQL and the donghua show him fighting in all his fierce glory with Shuoyue in hand, but that is not the kind of person he is in the novel. He is gentle and picks Liebing, who pacifies, over Shuoyue, who slices through, every time until the last scene. He is the only person who could have ever stabbed Jin GuangYao, because he is the only person Jin GuangYao would never suspect harming him since Lan XiChen never harmed anyone.

So to anyone who wonders why Lan XiChen believed so much in Meng Yao being a good person despite Nie MingJue's testimonies: it's because Meng Yao was providing information to Lan XiChen to help regain territory, aid others, and save lives from danger. Any murder and torture Meng Yao did in the Nightless City was thought to be minor compared to all the good his overall spying did for the Sunshot Campaign. Lan XiChen saw firsthand the GOOD that Meng Yao's spying could achieve and thus had faith in Meng Yao being fundamentally a good person. (Sadly, he was misled.)

But Lan XiChen was different from Nie MingJue. Lan XiChen couldn't win the war himself whereas Nie MingJue just might. Lan XiChen got the good information while Nie MingJue got the mediocre and, at the end, the information which threw him to the Wen-dogs.

Compared to Meng Yao's spy information directed to Nie MingJue, the information given to Lan XiChen would look suspect by the Wen. Lan XiChen is undoing whatever advances the Wen are achieving. This is part of why the Sunshot Campaign is in a stalemate for those last ~2 years: it's just back and forth with gains and losses in equal measure. It's what Meng Yao wants until he can ensure all the credit for his efforts go to him and no one else.

If Wen RuoHan and the Wens came across Meng Yao's information to Lan XiChen early on, that would look like Meng Yao is betraying them. This would look like a killing offense! The arrogance to think he could spy on the Wen! The Qishan Wen accepted Meng Yao in good faith when his own father gave him the cold shoulder, and he's still picking that father over Sect Leader Wen!?

But I hesitate to say Wen RuoHan would kill him because when do we ever see or hear about Wen RuoHan killing anyone!? He doesn't kill his enemies and the one ally he killed was that cultivator who was thrown at him in the midst of a fight. Yes, the novel tells us per rumors that Wen RuoHan sometimes enjoys torturing people who offend him, but that still doesn't mean they die in the end.

So I turn our attention to Wen ZhuLiu, our most reliable Wen RuoHan character reference. When deciding whether to follow orders or go completely against them, Wen ZhuLiu makes an interesting observation about what might happen to him:

Yet, there were no worst circumstances, but only worse circumstances...

Yet, in such a situation, the woman [Wang LingJiao] was on the verge of losing her life. If he did nothing, Wen Chao would definitely fly into a rage and refuse to let him go. And if he refused to let him go, then Wen RouHan wouldn't leave the matter at that either. (Ch. 58, ERS)

The worst circumstance is, of course, death. But Wen ZhuLiu reveals that, in this case, betraying Wen Chao, who had given orders to protect Wang LingJiao, does not make him afraid for his life. Acting against the Wen would make a mess of a situation for sure, but he is not afraid that he would end up dead. Life will become worse for him, but not the worst.

Meng Yao would be punished if he were caught, because how could he not, but it's rather unlikely his life was ever in danger. He was already acting as a reverse spy for the Wen of his own accord, so he was not truly at risk of being used or mislead by them.

Also a key aspect of Meng Yao's character is that he does not put his own life on the line. He hides behind others. He does not sacrifice himself for any cause or any person. (I'm sorry CQL lied to everyone by showing him use his body to protect someone else. Nothing could be further from the truth.)

Nie MingJue, "Then why don't you sacrifice yourself? Are you any nobler than them? Are you any different from them?"

Jin GuangYao stared at him. A moment later, as though he had finally either decided on something or given up on something, he replied calmly, "Yes." He looked up. In his expression were some of pride, some of calmness, and some of a faint insanity, "I and they, of course we are different!" (ch. 49)

If being with the Wen or working under Wen RuoHan was ever dangerous to him, personally, Meng Yao would have been gone long ago. If there was any risk that Meng Yao would find himself on the receiving end of his own torture devices, he would have killed Wen RuoHan already and fled out the door immediately. Instead, he stayed until the very end and did as he pleased and got everything he wanted at Wen RuoHan's expense.

I dare say Wen RuoHan is much more like Lan XiChen and Nie MingJue than we all give him credit for. Jumping to murder is actually not the norm. Meng Yao is simply an outlier who does too much murder and should not be counted.