#people really be like 'jews = bad' is a super cool new idea that will solve all our problems

[sweetsynth]

I hate to have to state the obvious, but people know hating/'getting rid of ' Jews won't fix the world somehow - right? Believe me, that one's certainly been tried and tested

[petewentzisblack1312]

hey dils!! was listening to sunshine riptide and thought of u so i wanted to say i hope ur taking care and also ask if u have any favorite fob videos/interviews?? lately i have been obsessed w the promo video patrick did for the honda civic tour where he drove around LA and said the only reason they got the tour was because he already drove a civic ahsjdbd

first of all it is SO flattering that listening to sunshine riptide made you think of me 🥺

secondly i was molded out of clay to answer this question, 100% i have a lot that i think about like way too often

the one where petes giving a tour of his parents house where he lived at the time and was showing off his stuff and was particularly very excited about the fact that his band was turned into action figures and then half way through andy shows up and is like "were best friends forever!" and petes like "yeah andy comes over for sleepovers a lot, we hang out in my basement and make zines and stuff" and then at the end he gets all excited cuz he hears his moms car pull up and he goes out and shes coming out of the car and then patrick gets out of the car carrying groceries and petes like "here mom me and patrick can put the groceries away you finish the interview" and shes like "no- pete i just got home from work im a mess" and hes like "what? no! no mom you look great, you can finish the interview well take in the groceries" and then she did and the camera crew came back to the two of them messing around and putting groceries away.

"pete wentz is honestly the only way to describe pete wentz. hes the most complicated guy i know." [cut to] "if anyone can make a strike without touching the lane i will pay you $300" *throws bowling balls straight into the air* *runs down the lane*

ok but in all seriousness i love that interview not only for that iconic moment but because later the footage is like blaring i dont care and pete goes and grabs a stuffed giraffe out of the prize thingie and hes like "what do you mean :)? we bought this with our tickets!!" and the editors are very much trying to make it a bad boy rebel without a cause moment except if you looked the woman behind the counter had a smile on her face and was laughing and then afterwards he gave it back and said "we werent really gonna steal it" but it really seemed like she knew that already

and then at a different point a couple fans showed up and they were all shy and excited to meet him and he was just like "hey are you guys coming to the show later" and they were like "yeah" and he was like "cool! thanks for coming out :) do you want a picture?" and they took a picture and it seemed like he was still kinda excited that people were excited to meet him. marcus (their bodyguard) was like trailing behind him and smiling and laughing throughout most of these antics and i just think thats sweet.

later in this same interview once again as they were on the ride back to their hotel or whatever theyd brought back a fake moustache and patrick put it on and did a bunch of dumb impressions.

patrick: if i wasnt doing music i think id be like a music critic or music journalist or something

andy:...i thought you said youd work at walmart

theres this one srar era interview thats just joe and patrick riffing for like 15 minutes. like it looks like they just straight up forgot the interviewer was there its so funny theyre such good friends.

this one joe and pete interview where i dont even really remember what they were talking about but theres a moment where joes talking about music with this intense passion and pete just kinda looks at him with this level of brotherly pride that keeps me going

this one andy and pete interview where 1) there were waterfowl chillin behind them which was deeply fascinating to andy and 2) they took a moment to swivel their chairs and hug each other bc theyre besties

band superlatives, specifically the moment where theyre all separately like "technically marcus isnt in the band but like. its marcus." bc that was sweet, unofficial 5th member of fob. and also "whos the most talented" "patrick. patrick. its patrick, hands down." "hm. petes like a really good soccer player" like thats a moment out of a fucking sitcom

halloween asmr with pete wentz. the man cant act but god can he commit to a bit.

there was this like live text chat that they all were in with fans on some radio station website. there were a lot of very fun moments, including joe saying "this is very current technology." as a comment on how very dated the live chat was and andy being like "can we set an icon i wanna change mine to an XVX" and pete and joe being like "oh are you vegan straight edge? we had no idea." and then pete was like "actually i wanna change my icon to andy hurley" and andy was like "no pete im not gonna send you a picture of me" and he was like :( and then a minute later he changed it to andy and he was like, and i swear this is almost a direct quote "BOOM! i love my life haha" and andy was like "goddammit" like i have no idea where to find this but it was so good.

theres this one "this or that" interview with joe and andy wherein the interviewer was a woman and like she seemed pretty at ease around them and got to the last question and imo seemed kinda uncomfortable and kind of established (in a way that seemed like she didnt usually do that) that it was a gross question, which was "would you have sex with a super hot celebrity but shes just died" and both of them were like "hey. what the fuck. absolutely not." and shes like "oh thats a first" and they are both like "do people say yes to that????????" and shes like "youre literally the first people to say no haha" in a way that made it seem that she did not find it funny and i just find that to be an interesting moment and i hope shes doing well and has a better producer now.

theres this one interview w andy on a hardcore podcast where the interviewer asks andy "do you every wish fall out boy were more political?" and he said (paraphrasing) "fall out boy is political, in its own way. we may not be as explicit with our politics as my other stuff, but kids find fall out boy, and through me, with all my other bands, or through joe, since he does a lot of metal, find heavier stuff, and are introduced to this stuff and to being vegan straight edge or anarchist or just more radical politics, and i dont think that just because we arent being super political in our music we arent a political band" which was really something to me bc i had just been thinking about that as a concept i call "gateway punk"

theres this one interview i recently found of a very small chicago music news outlet where a young lady interviewed pete and asked far more interesting questions than any other interviewer id ever seen and one such question was how he felt about the legalization of marijuana in illinois and he said that it was cool that it was legal but everyone locked up for it right now should be released and i like that he got to be political

theres a moment on the badass jew podcast episode joe was on where the interviewer whomst i do not recall was espousing some veiled antiblack sentiments wrt some antisemitic comments some famous black people had made and joe just completely rebutted it immediately and pointed out that black people not only are not a monolith bht are at a greater disadvantage

and also he made a joke that i could never make and cant fully get bc im not jewish but it was very funny and i love hearing people make jokes that arent for me.

this one interview before patrick had kids where he was saying how everyone kept asking him and elisa when theyd have kids and he was like "you cant just make that happen yknow? how do you just do that?" and pete immediately grinned and leaned over and mock whispered "you have sex" and patrick punched the air and was like "i hate you so much"

that one interview about abap where pete was like "we actually got the guy who did the whistles on patience by guns n roses to do it on this" and then he looks over at patrick and patrick shakes his head and petes like "you couldnt let me have this?" and he was like "i was gonna but then you looked at me and i just couldnt."

"whats the most important thing to you right now?"

patrick: star wars

joe: my daughter.

patrick: ...my son?

the puppy interview. everyone involved including the puppies was having the time of their goddamn life.

i have to stop this is too much its been like an hour

[urmomsstuntdouble]

As a writing request, could you post some headcanons on America or Lithuania’s religious beliefs? In your post on Imperial Russia, you mentioned that you headcanon Lithuania as Jewish, and I’d like to hear more about that. Alternatively, I would like to know more about America possibly being a Quaker (something you mentioned in a reply to one of my posts.)

yeah sure! thanks for asking!

So, for Lithuania being Jewish, i don’t have a particular reason for it, it just sounded kinda interesting to me. though I’m not Jewish myself, the area i grew up in was majority Jewish, with most of those people being Eastern Europeans or of Eastern European descent. I actually just answered another request about that, which you can find here where i discuss in further detail some stuff about Lithuania being Jewish. another reason i see them as possibly being Jewish is because I sort of really like old things- not because new things are bad, but because its fascinating to think about how long something has been around. All the things they’ve seen, all the things that you and i can no longer see- the past is just a super fucking fascinating place, though i’m glad i can’t visit. anyway. the reason i mention that is because lithuania is a really old country, and it’s one of  more prominent places in Ashkenazi history. Though idk if all the like. professional historians or whatever agree on the path of judaism into europe, i did find in some of my research that Lithuania was one of the first areas where European Jews lived, and one of few places that Jewish culture was able to flourish in Europe. Though this isn’t representative of all time periods, I personally think it would be cool. 

As for America, I am writing her as a Quaker in my fic 1836. That religion was selected for the purposes of that story, which features a strike that took place in Massachussets in 1836 for better working conditions and pay at the Lowell textile mills. It’s sometimes considered the start of the feminist movement (though i’d consider it the start of the labor movement- just because the striking workers were women doesn’t make it a feminist strike, and their goals were much more in line with the goals of the labor movement. but i guess since the start of the feminist movement was closer to the strike it gets lumped in with that), and because of the religious revival movement going on at the time, I thought it might be neat to give the main characters defined religions. I picked Quakerism for Amelia for a lot of reasons. partially because of her personality, and also because it reminds me of transcendentalism, which is one of my favorite genres of literature. also because of how radical it was even in comparison with other Protestant sects, in terms of the belief that Christ is like. a personal experience. they were one of the most pro-equality religions in the us at the time. american quakers have a long history of activism, and a lot of the early abolitionists (early as in before the revolutionary war. and after, for that matter) and, a little bit later, feminists! all this is to say, i think america the character is very idealistic, and that the idea of portraying america as a loveable idiot is very hopeful to me. i think having amelia be a part of a religion that actively upholds a lot of american idealism would be neat, so that’s why i picked that for that particular setting. though i initially wrote her like that for the purpose of being like. what i wish america actually was, i think it could work in other contexts too. i hope this was a satisfactory answer!

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #138 & #139

Sun Jul 28 2019 [02:24 PM] Wack'd: So apparently the whole "60s issues colored Wyatt white so as a compromise let's give him a slight tan" was not an invention of John Bryne

[02:24 PM] Aleph Null: that's supposed to be a tan? [02:25 PM] Wack'd: That or he's covered himself in strawberry yogurt [02:25 PM] ThreeOfFour: maybe its the widows peak but is that Namor? [02:25 PM] Wack'd: Nope! It's Wyatt Wingfoot! [02:26 PM] Aleph Null: dang, you're a wing, and you have feet? [02:27 PM] Wack'd: Under Kirby's pen Wyatt's hair varied from a standard close cut to something vaguely Clark Kent-ish [02:27 PM] Bocaj: Wait. [02:27 PM] Bocaj: Namor has wing feet [02:27 PM] Bocaj: HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM [02:27 PM] Wack'd: His hairline's receding a bit, though I have no idea if this is intentional or just how Buscema draws him [02:27 PM] Bocaj: HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM [02:27 PM] Wack'd: *Anyway* [02:28 PM] Wack'd: So wait--I have questions

[02:28 PM] Wack'd: 1. Did Johnny drop out of school? Probably, right? I mean, he’s not graduating today [02:28 PM] Bocaj: Damn johnny is a drop out [02:30 PM] Wack'd: 2. Metro College is nearby? And has phones? Besides "Stan forgot about me" there's no good reason why he hasn't spoken to Johnny or the rest of the Four in, uh--five years [02:31 PM] Wack'd: I get the idea that if he's going to return you want to make it kind of a big deal, but I'm far more comfortable with the idea that he's still been around and just not doing anything superheroey? [02:31 PM] Wack'd: Because now it's just like "oh, I've moved on with my life but I should probably invite my old best friend who's also a drop out to my graduation ceremony" [02:32 PM] Wack'd: "By breaking into his apartment" [02:32 PM] Umbramatic: oh [02:33 PM] Wack'd: Anyway, Reed decides to give the ceremony (and subsequent chill sesh at Wyatt's place) a miss in case Sue comes back [02:33 PM] Wack'd: Look, dude, I'm sure she does she'll call first? Or leave a note? [02:33 PM] Wack'd: Whatever [02:34 PM] Bocaj: When you refuse to make the first move it involves a lot of sitting by the telephone [02:34 PM] Wack'd: In fairness she's deliberately gone off the grid with his infant child and asked that no one tell Reed‏ where she is [02:35 PM] Wack'd: Not really a lot of opportunities for first moves here [02:35 PM] Bocaj: Has he asked [02:35 PM] Wack'd: Also fair [02:35 PM] Wack'd: But I'm pretty sure when someone doesn't want you to know where they are, going out of your way to find out is stalking, and that's generally frowned upon [02:36 PM] Bocaj: Well like he could have asked someone to send her a message saying he wanted to talk [02:36 PM] Wack'd: True [02:36 PM] Wack'd: You make a lot of good points [02:36 PM] maxwellelvis: True, but the problem is this is Reed Richards we're talking about here. [02:36 PM] Bocaj: Since Reed Is Never Wrong in Reed's Mind he's stuck in limbo waiting for her to come crawling back [02:36 PM] maxwellelvis: He'd have to delegate it entirely to someone else [02:36 PM] maxwellelvis: because aside from what Bocaj just said, Reed tends to make a big production out of everything. [02:37 PM] Wack'd: John Buscema awakes with a start and realizes that nothing about the team's civvie fashion sense has changed in thirteen years

[02:38 PM] Umbramatic: shameful [02:38 PM] Bocaj: "Oh shit, fashion changes" [02:40 PM] Wack'd: 1. Humphrey Bogart was a major movie star and *definitely* has folks fussing over his hair.  2. I'm finding a *lot* of photos of Lloyd Nolan with immaculately trimmed facial hair.  3. Oh god Ben's a "what about the troops" guy

[02:41 PM] maxwellelvis: Just change the references to 'Nam-era stuff and he sounds like Walter Sobchak [02:41 PM] Umbramatic: yufoufgtpit;u;jo'piop [02:41 PM] Wack'd: I'm starting to think that last issue all of his talk about being old wasn't him being brainwashed, that's just how Gerry Conway thinks he should behave [02:42 PM] Wack'd: Which is not exactly endearing me to his run [02:42 PM] Umbramatic: rip [02:42 PM] Wack'd: Well that's ominous

[02:42 PM] Umbramatic: eeeep [02:45 PM] Wack'd: So, Wyatt's tribe has a name now. "Keewazi" (EDITOR’S NOTE: I’d apparently forgotten Lee and Kirby explicitly made him Comanche.) [02:46 PM] Wack'd: I'm sure that was talked over with a lot of Native Americans not just a bunch of randomly-picked syllables [02:47 PM] Aleph Null: marvel bad [02:47 PM] Umbramatic: marvel no [02:48 PM] Wack'd: "I haven't seen Johnny in about five years, so it's definitely socially acceptable to laugh at him"

[02:48 PM] Wack'd: That said, he looks like a friggin Brady [02:48 PM] Bocaj: Which is weird because Marvel Avengers tended to leave it vague and Claremont X Men picked specific real tribes [02:49 PM] Umbramatic: now i'm just imagining a laugh track at all mentions of johnny's hair [02:49 PM] Umbramatic: and it's the Tidus Laugh [02:52 PM] Wack'd: I will say this, to Buscema's credit (and maybe Conway's?)--there's definitely still in "old west" aesthetic here, but the outfits are not nearly as "I watched a movie once" as they were last time we saw these dudes. Also: smart move avoiding teepees. It's the 70s! People want efficient heating!

[02:52 PM] Wack'd: (We didn't actually see any dwellings last time. Mostly just Wyatt's dad sitting on a carpet in the middle of an open field) [02:53 PM] Wack'd: Uuuuuuh "kings" yeah sure

[02:54 PM] Umbramatic: big mountain boi [02:56 PM] Wack'd: And with regards to "warriors" [02:58 PM] Wack'd: Oh no, Johnny did drop out!

[02:59 PM] Umbramatic: poor johnny [02:59 PM] Wack'd: So the Keewazi are in Oklahoma so jot that down [02:59 PM] Umbramatic: oh [03:00 PM] Wack'd: Wyatt traveled a long way to go to a state school! [03:01 PM] Wack'd: That explains nothing, thank you

[03:01 PM] Aleph Null: this is just what men are like [03:02 PM] Wack'd: Also last time we saw this joker he was just Mysterio but earlier and worse [03:02 PM] Wack'd: So this should honestly be a cakewalk [03:02 PM] Umbramatic: good [03:04 PM] Wack'd: nerts

[03:05 PM] Wack'd: Fortunately it turns out that attacking Miracle Man himself breaks his concentration, so no more rock man [03:05 PM] Wack'd: Coming out to gloat--*always* a bad idea [03:08 PM] Wack'd: Oh wow so Miracle Man's new backstory sure is something [03:08 PM] Wack'd: He sought out a tribe of Native Americans who'd mastered "total mental control" and had dwindled to seven despite never having interacted with a white guy before [03:09 PM] Umbramatic: oh [03:09 PM] Wack'd: They agree to a free and equal trade of information, but once Miracle Man has learned all he cares to he murders them all [03:10 PM] Wack'd: Nice of Conway to leave future writers an escape hatch in case this one day turns out to be problematic

[03:11 PM] Wack'd: Which it did, I'm pretty sure, the second it was written [03:11 PM] Umbramatic: yes [03:12 PM] Wack'd: If nothing else this is all fairly on brand for a white guy.

[03:12 PM] maxwellelvis: Well, the next time we see Miracle Man is in Marvel Two-In-One #8, written by Steve Gerber, and he doubles down on the weirdness, as I've said before. [03:13 PM] Wack'd: That's cool so long as he doesn't also double down on the racism

[03:15 PM] Wack'd: ...sure

[03:16 PM] maxwellelvis: To paraphrase Rifftrax, "Either the laws of physics no longer apply, or [Johnny] is playing Halo 2" [03:17 PM] Umbramatic: these are superhero comics, physics are just a suggesstion [03:18 PM] Wack'd: Okay, so the philosophy at play here is kind of nonsense bonkers, but I really want to hone in on the "city he has created on these barren sands." The sands weren't barren! People lived here! They were using it! Christ, Conway!

[03:19 PM] maxwellelvis: Not by choice, mind you. Though I'm not sure if Wyatt's living on a reservation or not. [03:20 PM] Wack'd: Lee and Kirby certainly seemed to think so. Conway and Buscema have issued no statement on the matter [03:20 PM] maxwellelvis: And IIRC most reservations were deliberately placed in the most desolate areas the feds could find. [03:21 PM] Wack'd: But still, it's super shitty to talk about someone's home as though you could be using this land better. [03:21 PM] Wack'd: It tends to be a big anti-Palestinian talking point--"it's good the Jews came in because it's not like those idiots were doing anything worthwhile"--so I'm a little sensitive to it [03:22 PM] Umbramatic: ah, geez [03:22 PM] maxwellelvis: Gotcha [03:23 PM] Wack'd: Anyway, Johnny, Ben, and Medusa make their way back to the surface, and Miracle Man conjures some monsters for them to fight [03:24 PM] Wack'd: And then when things start going south he summons a cyclone to wipe them all away [03:25 PM] Wack'd: Reed Richards Is Useless™

[03:26 PM] Umbramatic: LOOK BEHIND YOU REED [03:26 PM] Wack'd: We're going to find out about that next issue, apparently [03:26 PM] Wack'd: And meanwhile, in Pennsylvania, Franklin without a high-pitched scream and then passes out [03:27 PM] Wack'd: Sue decides not to send for a doctor because "somehow I know he's alright" [03:27 PM] Wack'd: Good instincts, Sue [03:28 PM] Wack'd: Back to the main story! The cyclone harmlessly drops everyone off a few miles away from Miracle Man's city [03:28 PM] Wack'd: And yeah, the Keewazi live on a reservation [03:29 PM] Wack'd: And so Wyatt, Johnny, Ben, and Medusa build a raft and head upstream back towards the reservation, with Johnny using his fire powers as a "motor" for the boat [03:29 PM] Wack'd: I'm sure that much open flame next to a wooden raft is definitely a good idea [03:30 PM] Wack'd: I think Miracle Man might actually be the most morally reprehensible villain in *Fantastic Four* yet

[03:30 PM] Wack'd: A genocidal colonist and a potential rapist to boot [03:30 PM] Umbramatic: ew [03:31 PM] maxwellelvis: Next time we see him, he'll start trying to become God. Not hyperbole [03:32 PM] Wack'd: Apparently Miracle Man is planning on destroying the entire earth! Jesus!

[03:33 PM] Umbramatic: ah yes, the classic supervillain plan, blow up ze earth [03:33 PM] Wack'd: More mook fights. Medusa is kicking some serious ass this issue, effortlessly flinging around three at a time [03:35 PM] Wack'd: Ben, meanwhile, has gone after the Man himself--and this fight is too fucking good to deprive you of

[03:35 PM] Umbramatic: BALOOM! [03:35 PM] Wack'd: God I love me some Buscema punches [03:37 PM] Wack'd: Anyway, Miracle Man tries to get up one last time, but is spirited away by the ghosts of the Cheemuzwa tribe he wiped out, who hope they can cure him of his megalomania. Awfully magnanimous of them. [03:37 PM] Wack'd: Why didn't they do this earlier? shrug [03:38 PM] Bocaj: There was a character from Fairy Tail who was raised by a first nations esque tribe but then it turned out They Were Ghosts All Along so character was free to join the main cast [03:38 PM] Bocaj: Also I hate Fairy Tail [03:38 PM] Wack'd: Anyway, we go out on a cliffhanger, the thing Reed should've looked behind him that was a Negative Zone alarm light

[randomnessunicorn-imagine]

Oh! This is an idea I’ve had for a bit, maybe some headcanons on how the southpark boios would act towards a transfer student? Maybe even from another country, so they occasionally talk in their own language by accident. As a student who travels around a lot I think this is a fun scenario to read about, you can make this romantic or friendly or whatever you wish to to be, I just love your writing ; w ;

{ Oh, hello!

Such an interesting ask, hope my answer will be asinteresting as well! }

🚸 KYLE 🚸

He is an open and curious guy, so he welcomes you witha smile on his face. This monotonous school really needed some new faces,because here, when you cross the corridors, only assholes can be found and you seema good guy. You brought some fresh air in this place.

He knows how difficult it can be to be accepted andstart a new life in a new place, especially when you’re an outsider. People canbe very racist sometimes. He is an American, he does not suffer that kind ofracism, but he is often discriminated because he is a Jew, so if you need helpto settle in, just ask him.

Some jerks could take advantage of you, they could pretendthey do not understand what you say and so you have to be careful. Luckily,Kyle is your friend, he will help you and protect you from those ugly bastards.

If you’re Kyle’s friend, you’re automatically also Stan’sfriend and so now you have two friends you can count on.

You seem someone who travels a lot, you have a lot ofexperience and he wants to know more about your journeys. Visiting new placesseems so exciting! You’re really cool!

One day, he hopes travelling all over the world anddiscover new places, know new people and learn a lot of thing about newcultures. When that day will come, he hopes you’ll be by his side.

However, he does not understand why you chose thiscity hole as your new home, there are so many beautiful places in the world buthey, he is not here to judge. Welcome to South Park, buddy!

.

🚸 STAN 🚸

He’s also very enthusiast about your arrival, even ifhe does not know you at all, but he’s very open and friendly, too. Just likeKyle, he welcomes you with a big smile on his face.

In this school, there is the law of the jungle, andonly the strongest survive and so you have to be trained to survive. Yes, takeit as a survival game like Battle Royal. Well, he’s joking a little bit butsome of his words are true because there are so many assholes. Don’t imitateButters if you don’t want to be kicked in the ass. Ah, even if Butters has somekind of talent in being bullied, poor little star.

Stan introduces you to his best friend, Kyle and tothe other members of his crew, Kenny and Eric (and don’t take intoconsideration Eric’s bullshit since he’s one of those assholes you must ignoreif you don’t want to get into trouble).

It’s cool you come from another country, he asks youlots of things about your old city, why have you decided to come here? WhySouth Park? He’s confused but this place is not so bad, you’ll be fine here. It’snot a big city but here happens the weirdest things, you cannot even imagine soyour life won’t be boring at all.

.

🚸 ERIC 🚸

I do not know if to be a friend of Cartman is a superfortune or a big misfortune, it is a true dilemma, but you will decide.

He is a racist and bad child, he will certainly takeadvantage of you, and will try to trick you in some way. You’re in a new city,so you’ll need a guide and Cartman can be your guide but you’ll have to givehim something in return. He has something in mind, so do not trust him easily.

Even Stan and Kyle advise you to stay away from himbecause this fat boy is crazy and he always causes trouble. But if you are toughenough, and prove to be strong and intelligent, Cartman will consider you ashis ally, and also as a true friend, who knows. He’s still the boss of thething, so don’t mess with him. Never mess with Cartman. Never! Respect his authority!

If you decide to be his friend, you and he can createan evil team of bad children. Everyone will be afraid of you, even if then you’llbe considered as a bully. We all know Cartman is not an angel.

At first, he considers you as his little slave becauseyou have to prove to be worthy of his friendship because not everyone are socool to be his friend. He’s still Eric Cartman, everyone would like to be hisfriend but not everyone is so lucky. He is so gentle to give you a chance andso don’t waste your time and show how worthy you are!

He orders you to bring him food, to clean his room andto make his homework, and so many other jobs you won’t find amusing. Yes, he’staking advantage of you and Stan and Kyle have already warned you. You hopethis torture will end soon.

At the end, Eric understands you are loyal and verydeterminate because you did a good job and you have never complained. He didnot think someone could pass all his tasks. It was sure you would win becauseyou are different from all the other assholes, maybe because you come fromanother land and so you know more stuff about life. You’re cool, dude, hefinally understands it but don’t get used to receive these compliments fromhim.

 .

🚸 KENNY 🚸

Kenny is always happy to make new friends, he is sucha nice and outgoing guy and you will surely find a great friend in him. Ok,sometimes he’s a bit mischievous, he’s such a pervert, but he’s adorable in hisways.

Kenny’s family is poor and therefore cannot afford totravel but he will be happy to hear the stories of your travels, the adventuresyou have experienced and the people you have met. Everything is so fascinating,and he is enchanted. You show him your photo albums, souvenirs and postcards,it’s all so mesmerizing, and he envies you a little. He hopes that one day hewill be able to afford a journey like yours, and you promise him that you will showhim the most beautiful cities in the world.

Thanks to Kenny, you settle down with no problem, you evenknow his friends Stan, Kyle and Eric, and then you feel very lucky you are Kenny’sfriend.

Something about Kenny is strange, it’s like he alwaysdisappears but then reappears. He always gets into trouble, gets hurt,sometimes even killed and you do not understand if it’s a dream or reality. Youare very worried about him, you are a true friend and you are nice to worryabout him but he tells you that everything is ok. Normal administration.

[urfavmurtad]

What are some things about Judaism and Christianity that you learned that surprised you? What about polytheistic religions like native american animism, Buddhism, Shinto and Jainism? Zoroastrians? Baha’i? Yazidi?

Anon this is… such an in-depth question! Idek where to begin here. Of all those religions, I have learned the most about Judaism since I stopped being religious. What I knew about Judaism prior to maybe 5 years ago was mostly just what Islam says about Judaism. Meaning, you know, from Adam to Moses, then it skips ahead to David/Solomon/Saul, then there are some brief mentions of Jonah and Ezekiel and that’s really it.

So I didn’t know a lot, and I wasn’t very interested in what I did know tbh. The only reason why I started reading the Bible is bc I wanted to compare it to the Quranic versions of the stories and see how much Mohammed fucked them up. And that was fun but I didn’t bother to look much further into Judaism past that. The Books of Kings and Chronicles, for example, I took one look at them, decided they were boring, and didn’t read them until only a couple of years ago. That’s when I first got into the whole Biblical history thing. I tried reading a book about how the Bible was put together and realized I didn’t know enough about the Bible itself to even begin.

I forced myself to read those four books and then some of the prophet books (side note: all of the female prophets were left out of Islam, I didn’t even know they existed. Damn it Mohammed!!!). And I’m glad I did, because it changed my whole view of the Jewish Bible. It’s a history book!! Like… that’s literally what it’s supposed to be, a (legendary) history of Israel/Judah, and every bad thing that happens to them is ascribed to YHWH getting pissed off at them, but then like my friend and her trash boyfriend he always forgives them and takes them back even tho they just go on to disappoint him again. The Bible is the world’s oldest and greatest self-drag!!!

Once I actually knew the general chronology of the Biblical kings and shit I could actually make my way through this book without getting confused (mostly). Highly recommend this one for beginners btw, there is a PDF online and it’s not overly long.

And damn… I know there’s some debate about certain elements of it like the exact nature of the “documentary hypothesis” but even just focusing on the stuff that people agree upon, I didn’t know any of it before reading this, beyond there being no evidence for the Exodus/the huge kingdom of Solomon etc. I also knew that early Judaism was a system where multiple gods existed but YHWH was just their patron god, but I didn’t fully understand the process in how he got conflated with El and became the god.

More relevant to this topic, though, I didn’t understand the history behind the Bible itself. Deuteronomy being written separately/earlier than the rest and the Bible claiming that it was “found” in the Temple after like 900 years in Josiah’s time… like I had never even heard of Josiah prior to a few years ago and here I am realizing that this bitch perpetrated fraud that would make Linda Taylor proud. Tf. AND, the whole thing with Judah being way, way less developed than Israel, and Israel was actually a multi-ethnic and prosperous society, but then after the Assyrians handed Israel its ass the Judeans were suddenly the top bitch in school and wrote the whole Bible to make their former northern neighbors out to be assholes?? Wow Team Israel tbh.

Then when you get to the time of the Babylonian Exile tho you have to feel a bit bad for the people of Jerusalem, like the Babylonians were uncommonly dickish even for their time and the ppl of the city were clearly traumatized tbh… a lot of the stories in the Bible, especially those believed to have been added only after the exile, make a hell of a lot more sense when you realize the huge changes occurring in Jewish society at the time. The transition from “there are lots of gods but YHWH is our god” to “YHWH is the god” is completely understandable when you realize that people were searching for some explanation as to why they had all been uprooted and thrown out of their homes, and the obvious explanation is that, yet again, they had pissed YHWH the fuck off by worshiping other gods.

I feel like both Christianity and Islam (but especially Islam) try to separate many of Judaism’s better-known stories from the context of ancient Israel/Judah itself, presenting them as more universal stories that apply to everyone, but tbh the whole over-arching story doesn’t work unless you look at it as a history written by and for Jews who were rebuilding their religion and society in a volatile period. I’m reading this rn and it’s relevant to that topic.

It’s truly a damn shame that pretty much like 0% of Muslims have been exposed to any of this tbh? I feel like almost all scholars of Biblical history come from non-Muslim countries. I have more feelings on this subject but let me answer the rest of your question. First of all, Christianity. I read the New Testament in full a couple of years ago as well. It was obviously way easier to read because the Gospels are all different versions of the same story and the rest is just supplementary material, basically. I think the text itself is pleasant and Jesus was a chill dude. I like him. And the whole… sequence of events made much more sense after I’d read the Book of Isaiah and realized that the authors of the Gospels were viewing Jesus in light of those prophecies. Revelation is a fascinating shrooms trip. The Acts of the Apostles were fun to read, but all the letters were just like w/e. More historically interesting (if they’re real) than interesting in terms of content. Though I do think some of the content in them is very nice, idk if people know this but Muslims think Paul was responsible for perverting the (non-existent) “real” Gospel of Jesus and paint him very poorly. But I dunno, the letters seemed fine to me.

Tbh I was surprised to see how different Islam’s version of Christianity/Christian stories is compared to the “real thing”. I don’t even mean his disastrous misconceptions of Christian theology but just like… with the stories Mohammed pulled from the Jewish Bible (and the Talmud–which I also enjoyed flipping through btw, it’s like a bunch of old guys yelling at each other in written form), he gets details wrong but the overall stories are basically the same. But with the Christian stories, barely anything in the Quran is from the Bible. I think I’ve said this before but like 90% of the stuff pulled from Christianity in Islam is about baby Jesus, not adult Jesus, and even that stuff isn’t from the Bible. It’s understandable when you realize that he was listening to these stories, not reading them, and just picked the ones he liked best… which happened to be later texts. That brings me to a subject that is near and dear to my heart:

Apocryphal texts bih. I love this shit, with full sincerity and zero irony. The weirder it gets, the better. I started out just reading the ones that made it into the Quran, like the Life of Adam and Eve, the Infancy Gospels that I’ve mentioned before, and the Testament of Solomon. Then some Gnostic stuff, which I only read because it has the same substitute-crucifixion thing going on as Islam, but WHEW chile the DRUGS these ppl were on while writing this shit…! The Sethians and the Nag Hammadi library produced such treasures of crazy-ass literature. It makes me sad how so much of this stuff is just totally forgotten now that Christianity is mostly just Catholic/Protestant+Orthodox. There were so many sects and people had so many divergent ideas, some more drug-assisted than others probably!! And Middle Eastern Christianity was very diverse even in the 7th century. Some of the stories they produced had such rich lore. My fave right now is this Syriac collection:

I came across this one while looking for the origins of the al-Khidr story in the Quran. There were all sorts of opinions about who he was, bc Mohammed never really gave any details on his life, but Ibn Ishaq recorded an opinion that al-Khidr was the one who buried Adam and Allah granted him long life in return. So I looked for the source of that story and it was the story of Melchizedek in this book. Then I read the whole thing and man this would make for some weird psychedelic series or sth. It’s online, look it over and you’ll see how trippy it is.

Um… anon this is getting rly long tbh so let me sum up my knowledge of Shinto, Native American animism, and Jainism: not much!! Buddhism I have only an intro-level knowledge of, I know the basics but I don’t know more than that. The beliefs of Yazidis I don’t fully understand, but the little I know is pretty cool. From what I understand it’s a blend of pre-Islamic Kurdish religion + early Islamic influence + some other influences thrown in. It’s sad how they’re branded as devil-worshipers or w/e when the story of Melek Taus is actually really interesting and has a good moral and is way, way better than the story of Iblis. I also enjoy Yazidi architecture and that unique ribbed cone top of theirs. I hope they’re able to live on as a community after, uh, recent events.

I actually was taught about Bahai people growing up but I was told it was some heretical offshoot of Islam comparable to Ahmadiyya people. I didn’t realize it was considered its own religion until fairly recently tbh. I did read the Kitab al-Aqdas (which is blessedly short, this makes Bahai a great religion automatically!!) once. It’s definitely super inspired by the Quran in terms of style and to me clearly seems to be an attempt to make a Kinder And Also More Iranian Islam. I think it’s pretty neat. In fact I think a lot of attempts to magically make Islam “nicer” would just end up making it more like Bahai tbh. And it has a really fascinating history, with the Bab basically being a new John the Baptist and Bahaullah being the one he foretold. He even accidentally ended up in Israel lmao. I also really love Bahai architecture in terms of how diverse it is, with the only unifying feature being visual interest, and I would love to see the temple in India irl one day. India always has the best architecture anyway.

I saved Zoroastrians for last bc I have to be honest here. I tried to look into it, because it’s ancient and had an influence on Judaism etc and that makes it important. Fam I got about 3% of the way through the Avesta before giving up. I was still in the hymns part and just like… every other word was something I didn’t understand. I will go back and try again one day but for now the answer is “lol idk”.

ANYWAY… yeah… I’ve enjoyed reading about religion way more now that I’m not religious, both in terms of Islam and other religions, I can appreciate the process or w/e now that I’m not constantly trying to make it fit into Islam or panicking every time I spot something that makes me question my faith. I know a lot of atheists either fall away from religion altogether or just look at it like it’s something dumb, but even if it’s fake, that doesn’t make it worthless imo. The history itself is always worth studying.

[flapperfromthefuture]

I have a lot of anxiety about going to the doctor. I was particularly anxious about my most recent check-up as I had to get my blood drawn, and I haven’t had my blood drawn since second grade. Why? It’s not important.

So Stella and I planned to hit up the Ann Arbor Art Fair right after my appointment, which was a great idea since the shuttle stop was right across the street from my doctor and nothing soothes my frantic brain like “Only a few minutes until you get to browse some artisanal ceramics!”

Of course, the very last thing I had to do at my appointment was get my blood drawn. I was so close to the door.

I could’ve just bolted. But no, I had to be an adult. I nervously babbled the whole time—”Just so you know, I’m not going to look or anything because I’m really nervous around needles and the last time I got my blood drawn was when I was seven and some lady held me on her lap and fed me those Valentine’s hearts with the words on them while I cried and I still can’t eat those without feeling sick and oh you’re done already?”

Who knew phlebotomy had advanced so much?

I floated out of there on wings of endorphins and met Stella at the shuttle—along with everyone else in the county.

The Ann Arbor Art Fair is no ordinary art fair. It’s actually four decent-sized art fairs combined into one mega-art fair that consumes over 30 city blocks. Thousands of people descend upon downtown and if you’re not prepared for the sweltering heat, wall-to-wall crowds, and the gladiator battle for parking, you’re going to get chewed up and spat out somewhere near the mixed-media installations.

Stella and I always pre-game by analyzing the official artist line-up and charting a course ahead of time. We knew we wanted to see certain artists that we’d bought from before, a few new ones that caught our interest, and I always try to see every wildlife or plant photographer because that’s just who I am as a person. Stella goes for anyone doing any kind of classic rock-inspired art or industrial chic. So we had our work cut out for us.

It started raining while we were on the shuttle bus. Most art fairs would suffer a lower turnout because of bad weather, but rain only makes the Ann Arbor Art Fair stronger.

Stella and I had umbrellas, hats, sunscreen, semi-decent shoes, and water. This was not our first rodeo. The bus driver dropped us off with a cheery farewell—”Stay dry, stay hydrated, and don’t spend more than you can carry!”

We popped our umbrellas and headed into the fray. Almost immediately I saw something I never knew I desperately needed but could not justify buying even if the world was ending—stone sculptures made of real fossilized leaves. It’s everything I love! Giant plants and rainbow color schemes! There was a little sign that said “Please touch—they like the attention.” I also like attention! I wanted all of them. But I would have had to pawn a pet to buy just one, plus I could never get this giant leaf back on the bus.

The best part of the art fair is the people/dogwatching. I saw several dogs in raincoats and at least four in strollers—one dog was sharing a stroller with a baby, and this delighted us (the baby did not look quite as delighted).

The worst part might be trying to get some food before the heatstroke takes over. Stella and I decided against sampling the food truck that claimed to sell fresh seafood (you know what Michigan is nowhere near? The ocean) and thanks to the art fair, our usual sleepy and well-stocked breakfast joint had run out of both Diet Coke and ketchup, which together make up a good thirty-five percent of what I eat.

Hmm, maybe my doctor should draw my blood more often.

So we ended up walking a good five blocks to the safety of the vegan restaurant. No crowds, no exhaustion of critical supplies, just cashews in everything. And I mean everything.

When we returned to the fray, we investigated a booth where a woman claimed to be able to tell your future by reading bones (legit) and another where all the art was made of humanely collected butterfly leaves, from necklaces and earrings to windcatchers and drawings.

“Wings are really speaking to me right now,” said Stella.

Meanwhile, I was tempted by steampunk goggles, which always speak to me, and say something like, “You don’t need us, but also maybe you do?”

There are always these gigantic sculptures of cacti and hummingbirds and flowers and fountains the size of my car and whirligigs that look like they’d take out your mailbox and the old lady next door in a storm. I don’t know who buys them, but somebody must, because they come back every year.

  I also saw this character, whose motivations and background I don’t know at all, but she did flash me a peace sign, so her intentions must be pure.

While I was distracted by following the basket lady, I lost Stella in the crowd. Now, losing your assigned adult during the art fair is the recurring nightmare of every Ann Arbor child: “I’m lost forever, so I’ll have to make my way selling water bottles or handing out pamphlets at one of the non-profit booths. Should I go to the Mars Society or the Ban Infant Circumcision people first?”

I wandered around for a few minutes, dodging the Jews for Jesus with ninja-like precision, until Stella found me. “Sorry, I was talking to the leaf people,” she said, pointing to a booth selling jewelry made of succulents.

“It’s the art fair,” I shrugged. “You’re going to get stuck talking to some leaf people.”

Here’s the other thing I had to do at my doctor’s appointment—get my yearly TB test, which isn’t a big deal, except the very evening before I had a class where I learned a ton about TB, like that it’s ridiculously contagious and super difficult to treat and kills millions of people every year and best case scenario you’re on debilitating antibiotics for a couple of years but oh man, if you get a drug-resistant strain, you are effed.

And it’s endemic pretty much everywhere on Earth, even good ol’ Ann Arbor.

So picture me wandering through a giant crowd of people, many of whom are coughing and sneezing and touching everything they possibly can, clutching my umbrella like a shield and glancing at my TB test to see if it starts glowing or something, all while Stella babbles about bud vases. It was quite the banner Ann Arbor day.

  I didn’t end up buying anything—Stella got a really cool print of a sea turtle whose shell is a VW bus, because that’s who she is as a person—but the whole experience was worth it because I got to see a dog being pulled in a wagon that was lined with comfy blankets, packed with a private water supply, and equipped with a personal fan. This dog had his own breeze and was clearly living his best life, smiling at everyone and grooving to the acoustic guitars that seem to play themselves when downtown hits max capacity .

I’ve never seen a happier creature at an art fair. Maybe this is the heat talking or the fact that I walked 7.3 miles in sandals with only cashews as fuel, but I either want to be reincarnated as this dog or start a religion around this dog. Haven’t decided yet.

    I Bleed for the Ann Arbor Art Fair I have a lot of anxiety about going to the doctor. I was particularly anxious about my most recent check-up as I had to get my blood drawn, and I haven't had my blood drawn since second grade.

[malecsecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, @forensicsisabelle!

The Happiest of Holidays

“Do you celebrate,” Magnus asks randomly one night while they are out walking around the city.

“Do I celebrate what?” Alec answers softly.

“Christmas,” Magnus answers while looking at the tree in Rockefeller Center.

“Oh, no, not really.  I mean the institute puts up a tree, but I think it’s just for appearances sake, not that we get very many mundanes or anyone else who would care. Do you?” Alec, suddenly really curious.

“I do and I don’t. When I was a boy Islam was the religion where I lived, but my mother wasn’t all the interested, especially because my step father was white. But I’ve dabbled in almost every religion. There’s something magical in every faith.  Maybe that’s why I’m drawn to Christmas and the decorations. But Chanukah is also a very beautiful holiday. I’m very fond of Yul and Winter solstice.  I adapt to the situation I’m in.”

“I’ve never really cared to be honest.  We are descended from angels, and angels belong to many religions.  I know that the institutes in various countries celebrate according to the region they are in. people who have ascended celebrate what they were born into. Werewolves don’t have rules like that, Vampires have that God issue, and Seelies go with the flow, they would probably really like the whole worshipping a tree thing.”

“People don’t worship trees Alexander, it’s just a way to decorate the holiday with joy and love”

“Yes well, it’s all the same to me really.”

“I’ll have to change that.”

A week later Magnus dragged Alec to the Hotel Du Mort in search of his Catholic son and his Jewish fledgling.

“Can’t we just have met at the institute? The downworlder counsel exists for a reason Magnus.”

“I highly doubt you created it to learn about religion.”

“Well no, but it would still work.”

“Come now, this will be fun, and if nothing else you can scoff and roll your eyes at Simon as you enjoy doing.”

“Fine, but I want it known I’m doing this out of duress.”

“I’m fine with that.”

The two are granted entrance into the Vampire den and climb the stairs to Raphael’s penthouse suite.

“Does it not occur to these people to fix the elevator?”

“They have super speed Alexander, an elevator is hardly necessary.”

“Not all of us have that you know.”

“You have runes, I have magic, it equals out.”

“Then why are we walking?”

“We’re in no rush sweetness. I’m just enjoying your company,” Magnus bats his lashes at his boyfriend.

Alec rolls his eyes extra dramatically. “Okay I get it, let’s just get there already.”

Simon greets them at the door when they arrive. “This is really cool of you to ask Magnus, Clary never really cared about Chanukah because it was always so close to Christmas.  I’m excited to tell you about it.”

“Simon, let them come in before you scare them niño.”

“Right sorry, come in.”

“So Simon, why are you here celebrating instead of with Maia?” Alec asked suspiciously.

“When Magnus suggested this I figured it was easier to come here.  My stuff is portable, a tree is not.”

“Oh, yeh, right.”

“Anyway, do you want something to drink? Eat? We prepared some traditional holiday dishes.”

“Dios Mio, I prepared, he went to the store!”

“It was a group effort really.”

Magnus looked upon his children fondly, Alec was wondering around the apartment aimlessly.

“Is Izzy coming to this little get together?” He asked absentmindedly.

“Maybe, if she finishes her patrol in a timely manner, I usually don’t expect her ‘til much later,” Raphael said softly.

“Oh, that makes sense.” Alec had slowly become more comfortable with the idea of Izzy being in a relationship with the clan leader.  He made her happy.  She made him far more personable; he’s sure she is the only reason this little holiday thing was even happening.”

“Shall we get started? I don’t want to keep my night children from their night.”

Magnus and Alec sat down on the couch while Simon flitted around gather various things.

“Okay this is a menorah, they used to have ones like it in the temple-“

“Temple?” Alec looked confused.

“Right ok, um, I didn’t think this was gonna be a history lesson.”

Magnus chuckled, “it’s okay, I’ll fill in the holes later, go on.”

“Great, okay so the Temple used to use there candle/oil holders. But the one for Chanukah is called a Chanukiah.  So there was a fight. The bad guys tried to conquer the Jews, but somehow the Jews the prevailed.  But the temple was desecrated, and there was only a little bit of oil left. Somehow it burned for eight days. Most people say that was miracle of Chanukah but really it was that we won against a greater larger foe.   Anyway. We celebrate by lighting candles each night for eight night, we have games and we eat oily food, like latkes which are potatoe pancakes and donuts.”

“ That was…a lot.” Alec was trying to prcess.

“Sorry, I get excited.  If you have specific questions let me know.”

“ I think Magnus can fill in the gaps.  So this is a holy day?”

“I mean it’s not like the New Year or Yom Kippur but it is important.”

“Gotcha, I think.”

“Wait ‘til you hear Raph’s story, you’ll be begging for more of my story!”

Raph came to the living area carrying drinks for everyone, blood cocktails for himself and Simon, a martini for magus and a beer for Alec.

“Isabelle tells me you like this kind.”

“I do, very much, thank you.”

Magnus gestured for Raphael to sit and begin his Christmas lesson.

“It still pains me to talk at length about this, but I will tell the basics, if that’s alright.”

“Of course gendhakan.”

If vampires could blush Raphael would be, as he always does when Magnus uses that term of endearment for him.

“Alright, so Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus. Who we believe to be the son of…” Raphael gets choked up and points upward. “His mother had a baby without having sex; it’s called the Immaculate Conception.”

“Yeh, even though Mary was married and clearly had sex with her husband.”

Raphael smacked him upside the head. “You had your turn!”

Simon rubbed at his head and apologized.

“As I was saying, Catholics take Christmas a little more seriously than other parts of the religion. I remember going to mass with my family. I swear I could feel…him around me.  It kept me grounded while I was growing up.  I think the tree tradition is as old as Magnus here.  It evolved from pre-Christianity. But I believe now it’s a way to outwardly celebrate what we feel inside. I usually don’t have one, too painful, but Isabelle got a small one as a gift to me and who am I to say no to her.”

Alec smiled; it was very hard to say no to Izzy.

“Okay, so someone mentioned food?” Magnus said to break the silence.

Simon jumped up and sped over to the kitchen. He rushed back with plates of potato pancakes, jelly donuts, Bacalao Navideno (Mexican Christmas salted cod) and cinnamon bunuelos(fritters).

Alec looked at everything with wide eyed, grateful he had listened to Magnus when he said not to eat much that day.

“Everything looks amazing anakku.”

“Thank you papa.”

Magnus started making plates for himself and Alec.  Simon sat watching them eat with rapt attention.

“Simon, can you stop staring?” Alec pointed his fork at him.

“Sorry! I sometimes miss food, or the first taste of holiday foods you only have once a year.” Simon looked downcast.

Raphael put a comforting hand on his shoulder. He understood.

When Magnus and Alec had eaten more than their fair share of food, they got up to go.

“What will you do with the leftovers,” Alec asked curiously.

“I’m taking some to Maia, and Raph promised Izzy he’d save her some of everything. Don’t worry; it will get eaten by those who can.”

“Thank you both for this.  It was a lot of information but I think I understand the gist of everything.”

“Of course Alec, anytime.  I’m glad I had someone to share this with.”

Alec smiled genuinely at Simon, grateful that this pesky nerd had found a way into his life.

“Portal or walk my love?”

“I think a stroll is in order.  Gotta work off all this food.”

“There are certainly other ways,” Magnus winked at Alec.

“No, not in here!” Raphael threw his hands up and fled to the kitchen to clean up.

“Love you too my boy!”

Both men left sated and peaceful.  The walk home was brisk and calm.

“Thank you for arranging this. Don’t think I don’t know what you were doing by getting Raphael and me in the same room for a considerable amount of time.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Magnus smiled while playing with his ear cuff.

Alec stopped, pulled Magnus to him with the hand he was holding.  “I love you, thank you for always taking care of me even when I don’t know I need it.” Alec leaned down slightly and kissed Magnus on his nose, smiling at how cold it was. He placed his forehead on Magnus’s and they just breathed into each other.

“Tonight was perfect. Thank you for sharing it with me.”

“I want to share everything with you.”

“And I you cinta.”

Alec backed away and the two started walking again.  As they walked home they saw trees with lights and the menorahs in the windows of apartments above them.  Alec smiled a knowing smile, and he felt like maybe these holidays were something he could start doing, because with Magnus by his side, anything was possible.

Translations:

Nino: child in Spanish

Dios Mio: oh my god in Spanish

Gendhakan: sweetheart in Javanese

Anakku: my child in Javanese

Cinta: love in Indonesian

[fromchaostocosmos]

Not Jewish Great Cause This Addressed To You

i’ve done a lot of posts about Judaism or like character viewpoints from a jewish perspective or like just diff stuff related to jewishness in my time and a lot of them are with a humor or from a logic that other jews will very easily understand and get and enjoy 

and a lot of these are not posts that intra-community related so i don’t tag it or mention in the post goyim don’t reblog cause it is not something that you have no place in 

and as jews tend to do discussions tend to happen on the post and it is lovely for me and other jews to have this

and when its gets rebloged by goyim i think it is good because it helps i think to dispel many of the myths surrounding jews, how we think, our culture, how we approach stuff, etc 

thing is odds are with jews being only .2% of the world pop. most ppl will never meet or interact with a jewish person and sadly most info ppl have on jews is from movies, books, tv, and such

which really is so narrow and antisemitic so to me there is something wonderful about knowing that people can see aspects of us beyond that

but more and more what has been happening is that additions are being added onto my posts, additions that have no place.

additions that bring in christianity, which seriously always a super fucking bad idea, or start taking what i have written and applying to characters that are not jewish or start like trying to make a discussion where it is totally not needed and is really out of place

these additions that i’m talking about are ones that are written by you people who are not jewish.

discussions are awesome i love them, but when you have no fucking clue what you are talking about and then start talking about things you don’t know or understand all while acting like you have an equal say and understanding on the topic it foolish and arrogant as well as not wanted

it is also exhausting honestly

like there has been way too many fucking times where there will be a post where myself and other jewish bloggers will be having a really awesome debate discussion thing about something in Jewish culture or what not and suddenly like a whole bunch will start like talking about whatever the fuck and seriously you wanna reblog it cause you think the conversation is inserting cool with me

but seriously why are you adding your two cents it is not needed but also you don’t know what you are talking about

like i have reblogged posts where black american where talking and explaining certain aspects of black american culture that i found really fascinating (posts that was clear that it was ok to reblog if not black) like one was talking about certain hair styles and the history of it and it was really cool and educational 

thing is i’m not black so i didn’t say anything because not my culture so not my place

and there are i’m sure other examples within my reblogs you can find bc i enjoy learning about other cultures and i like to learn new things but i don’t add my thoughts or opinions because a. it is not my place because that is not my culture and b. don’t know the fuck i am talking about  

like there is nothing wrong with wanting to learn new things but you don’t always need to add to it just sit back and learn

i’m not saying you can’t have questions either bc questions are great but be humble enough to recognize that you don’t know things and that it is not necessary for you to shove your way into conversations where you have no place to share what you want to say bc you are either to arrogant to see or just don’t care enough to see the harm that you are doing

questions cool come to my inbox or another jewish blogger’s inbox and ask trust me we will take it seriously and answer to best that we can unless you are being an asshole about it or being antisemitic which if are genuine and do want to learn then it will come through in how you ask.

so like just try thinking twice before adding your thoughts onto certain posts

and pro-tip if you are thinking about brining in jesus or christianity to compare to Judaism or something like just don’t 

Seriously stop it

[heypoliticsdad]

JUST HOW BAD IS IT?

IT FEELS REALLY BAD RIGHT? The government is lurching around like a drunk raccoon, more and more people are being deported daily, Muhiyidin d’Baha was shot and killed, another school shooting, all this Russia stuff continues to unfold, and somehow half the country - or some smaller percent of the country that has a whole lot of power - still is worrying about Hillary Clinton.

How bad are we doing though? As a whole? It’s hard to tell because for a lot of America, it’s been bad and it’s just a little more obvious than it used to be. The ugly parts are more visible, and the executive branch of the government is uniquely clusterfucked, and there is this whole Russia thing...but aside from all that (can you even dismiss all of that in one swoop?), it is not like activists have just started getting killed. It’s not like all citizens have had equal access to the rule of law and the protections a friendly government is supposed to provide. I don’t want to fall prey to the idea that it is not worse, but I also don’t want to fall prey to the idea that all this is a unique singularity outside of our usual functioning. 

Yeah yeah yeah, Dad, we get it. How bad is it?

One of the most important bodies of work I have been reading lately is writing from people who have lived through authoritarian regimes. They make the very valid point that it is not as if suddenly the sky turns red and IT IS ALL BAD ALL THE TIME. The sky stays blue. There are still movies at the theater. But little by little the edges start eroding: freedom of public discourse, freedom of the press, freedom of movement, freedom of this or that little thing. Then they erode more. Maybe one group in particular gets blamed for bad things that happen (Jews, Christians, Muslims, immigrants, etc, etc) or maybe everyone has to start putting pro-government signs in their windows or who knows what.

Yeah yeah yeah, Dad, cool. BUT HOW BAD IS IT?

America is a country that prides itself on its freedom and democracy. To me it seems unlikely that it would ever work to throw a coup in the classic sense, because we luvvvvvv the rhetoric of democracy and freedom and we also love pretending things are better than they are (see: how none of this is new, it’s just bigger than it’s been.) Trump was inevitable - I fail to see how this wasn’t obvious to everyone the moment he declared - but he was not the beginning of something. He was a step far along a path.

The thing is, there are two forces at work here. There is the chaos in the executive branch that is using the US government as a billionaire4billionaire gift shoppe, and then there is the bigotry and xenophobia in the legislative branch being allowed to have its day. I don’t think Trump or Putin or whomever cares that much about the bigotry and violence, to be honest; I think they care about power to do what they want. But when looking around to figure out who could get them that power, who did they find? The best-organized (sorry, lefties) and most ready crew was this far right wing. 

I’ll be honest, perhaps too honest, perhaps the kind of honest that will come back and bite me in the ass at some point in the nebulous future: I think the right is 100% correct when they say that if it was a leftist in power doing lefty things, we wouldn’t care so much about the state of the government. If I had a nutjob president who was elected in a corrupt fashion on a platform of universal healthcare and alternatives to sentencing, I would care a whole lot less because at least I would see the country doing things I’ve wanted it to do. Is there any doubt as to why the Republicans aren’t super concerned about all this with Russia and the regime’s corruption? They’re getting what they want. Aside from when we’re talking about ourselves, the US is a country that cares about ruthless efficiency far more than abstract principles of greatness. 

What’s the point of a democratic government, anyways? I do not mean that rhetorically. Aside from lofty ideals and our own moral superiority, why do we care what kind of government we have? At the end of the day, I don’t, really: I care that everyone I care about has enough to eat, has free passage through the world, has somewhere warm to stay, can go to the doctor, and can make meaning for themselves. The problem, of course, is that there doesn’t seem to be a kind of government that can provide these things without finding some other group of people to severely repress, and I hope from the bottom of my heart I am not willing to trade my own security and the security of those I love for those other people’s repression any more than I already do. I can feel how this is going to be tested, and any situation that relies on a lot of humans choosing the moral high ground over their own comfort is not, historically, a good situation to be in. 

As far back as I can count in my incomplete understanding of history, there have always been the people in power running the government and then the rest of us. How it is for the rest of us largely depends on what tactics are being used to maintain the power of the people in charge. Right now, those tactics are against the people I stand for and with, and what is happening in their hands is against what I believe, and they seem to have a pretty broad base of power, and I feel pretty unclear that they will be unseated without a significant fight no matter how the 2018 election turns out because of the things I hear them say they believe. 

OKAY DAD, BUT HOW IS IT? Pretty bad.

[sootonthecarpet]

if it's not too much trouble to answer, can I ask what's been the going on with doctor who that's bad? I've seen little bits of it when my parents watch it in the other room but not enough to really get a good sense of it?

heyyy sorry to keep ya waiting on this. i tried to keep this as short as i could, but it’s about five paragraphs long, sorry. it’s not in any way a comprehensive list of problems with the last few seasons, just a quick tour of the moments i shouldve let be my ‘i can’t keep watching after this’ point. i wanted to write it objectively but i got pretty aggro, bc this show that in some part i genuinely adore has been producing unforgivably bigoted content. (it’s kinda a ship of theseus situation, except where the parts of the ship were replaced with worse, shittier, fake-woke parts.) i ask ppl to avoid reblogging this, because i don’t want my words to contribute in any way to online buzz surrounding this show or make anyone want to see it, even if ONLY to hatewatch or criticize.

content warning for misogynoir/antiblackness, racism, bury ur gays, some shit with nazi germany (yeah lol) and just the slightest kiss of antisemitism.

(edit: i seem to be having some problems with the read more cut. it’s there on dash view and when i edit the post, but doesn’t show on some instances of my blog. i can’t fix this but gksfkgls. wanted to at least be overt that i wouldn’t post this kinda long ranty stuff without a cut.)

in the last season where peter capaldi was the doctor, two seasons ago now, he had a new companion, Bill. she was a black lesbian and literally the only reason i started watching doctor who again. i loved her, and i was really glad to see the show moving back towards the more diverse cast of characters that we saw in the late aughts. then the season had a repeated theme of FORCING her to either repress or not feel her emotions. there are two scenes that stand out most to me. in an ep set in like, early 19th century london, she and the doctor are talking to a racist rich white dude who is being super nasty to Bill. the doctor keeps telling her to cool it and not show how angry she is. then HE gets to punch the guy out and knock him to the floor.

this theme of the white man being the only one allowed to get angry was big all season, iirc. then at the end of the season, Bill is turned into a cyberman. they’re usually like. soulless scary automatons, but some characters keep their individuality, which has been explored in a few past seasons, usually leading up to a tragic/heroic death. in Bill’s case, they did this trick with filming where we could see her perspective of herself in some shots–an intensely emotional performance, Bill was completely traumatized and her actress was working her ass off–and in others, just this metal body incapable of expression, scaring people like she was a monster and monotoning these otherwise very emotional statements. it’s an interesting narrative device, but after a whole season of this show putting Bill through all kinds of terrible shit and forcing her not to show her feelings on the matter, it hit me as like. this nauseating exaggeration of how society treats actual black lesbians as monsters and tries to make them bottle up their emotions and especially their justifiable anger. anyway, then Bill died and got to be with her dead girlfriend from her first episode. wow, cool.

idk what made me watch the season after that. i guess i wanted to see the new doctor, and i liked her companions (one was like. a young man with disabling neurological symptoms, tbh even if i’d missed Bill’s season that might have had me back on board). i had plenty of problems with how the season played out, obvs, but nothing was standout horrible to me the way the shit with Bill had been (except maybe the episode that started out like ‘space amazon is a hellhole’ and somehow ended with ‘space amazon was taken advantage of by a broken AI that hurt some people and they didnt fix the infrastructure we explicitly showed harmed their workers but now it’s fine!’ if that sounds weird and heavy handed with an unsatisfying ending, it’s because it was). the new season tho? the OPENING EPISODES OF THE NEW SEASON, THO? it opens with alexa product placement, in an episode about how a fictionalized google was actually run by a black man who had ties to a large number of aliens who had secretly infiltrated our society, altered our dna, and shit like that. so uh, 1. brand war lmao, sellouts etc etc 2. y’all remember those conspiracy theories about jews? and white supremacist beliefs that black people are ruining the world but aren’t smart enough to do it on their own so they must be agents of jewish corruption? HUH. HUH! that’s not even my big problem with the fuckin thing, but it’s FOR SURE a suspicious writing move from a tv show with suuuuch a huge viewership. (and it’s just plain embarrassing for a show with alexa product placement to try to go all scary panopticon tropes specifically @ a google analogue.)

anyway, we run into an old recurring antagonist, the master, a time lord like the doctor. he’s a guy again after having been a woman for a few seasons, and now played by an actor of color. i figure the reasoning at least partly relied on “dude, how fucked up will it be if we force the doctor’s black friend to call a white dude master” but i was immediately afraid it might go to the like…. Righteous White Woman Gets The Better Of Evil Brown Man tropes and oh boy!!!! i tried to be good and give it the benefit of the doubt until i saw something racist but it wasted no time. the doctor got stuck in the past at one point, and met the master, who was currently a military official with the third reich. oh boy. so she asks him why they let him work with them and he explains he’s using a device to psychically disguise himself, they see him as white. (we missed a great chance for him to monologue about how they were willing to bend their morals when they saw how evil he could get or something.) this was awkward enough for me as a viewer, but i wasn’t prepared to go into it, in case there was some tiny shred of nuance somewhere that would make this situation anything but a clusterfuck.

well, the doctor executes a genuinely clever scheme and makes a radio transmission to the brits that she knows won’t reach em, talking about how helpful this officer has been–setting up the master to be falsely outed as a double agent when the nazis intercept it. she tells the master this and then skedaddles, letting him be arrested by his own men. could be a satisfying karmic victory where he presumably gets a military trial and weasels out of his fate, although i don’t like the implications of a white woman punishing a brown man for racism. BUT IT DIDN’T STOP THERE! she disables his psychic filter, causing his men to see his true identity as a man of color–she exposes her oldest frenemy and Basically The Only Time Lord Who’ll Talk To Her to nazi racism when he was ALREADY about to fall into their hands as a prisoner. what could have been a marginally satisfying defeat was instead a kind of emotional horrorshow for me as i had to stop and wonder what kind of hell they’d put him through and why the writers decided that the doctor (who has literally since the show began in like the sixties been set up as an enemy of naziism via allegory and has always been firm in the idea that NOBODY, including literal maneating space monsters, deserves to be treated as less than human) would DO that. IT’S LATER IMPLIED HE ESCAPED FROM A CONCENTRATION CAMP. the narrative DOES NOT allow time for that to sink in before moving on.

i dont have a conclusion 2 this. im just hurt as fuck about it. i hope i gave u the info u were looking for without getting too deep into my personal feelings, but it’s difficult, maybe impossible to be objective about stuff like this.

[skepticraven]

There is No War on Christmas

It’s nearly that time of year again. The time of year that Fox News will begin whining about the war on Christmas and let’s be honest, they never stop whining about Christian persecution. Let me be perfectly clear: There is no war on Christmas. Fox just expects their ideology to be able to dominate ever inch of the public and private domain and then gets cranky when they can’t completely control everything everyone say or does. Christians are not being persecuted in America. In fact Christians make up the overwhelming majority of the United State’s population. They also possess the overwhelming majority of the political power. Out of the entire Senate and House of Representatives (535 people), there are 6 Mormons, 8 Jews, 3 unaffiliated, 1 Buddhist, ZERO Muslims, ZERO Hindus, ZERO Pagans, Zero Atheists. The people labeled unaffiliated does not mean they are atheists, it means not a member of a church or have chosen not to declare a theological stance publicly. I know for sure at least 2 of the unaffiliated individuals were raised Christian. As for the supreme court, since it began in 1789, there have been 91 Protestant judges and 13 Catholic judges out of 113 total justices. There are 5 Catholics, 1 Protestant, and 3 Jews currently serving as supreme court justices. Trump claims to be a Christian which I’d take with a grain of salt but he does seem to espouse a lot of the political stances of conservative Christians in most situations and he certainly has harped on about having people say Merry Christmas again (instead of Happy Holidays).

So why do I say, there is no war on Christmas? To start, Christmas is a national holiday. Most businesses close on Christmas Eve and/or Christmas Day (with the exception of like Hospitals, Police Stations, an occasional diner or convenience store). Do you see the entire country closing down on Ramadan? Nope. For weeks, and sometimes months, prior to Christmas, everywhere you go its, “Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells. Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah.” That music takes over entire radio stations that otherwise play decent music. You can’t escape those insufferable, cheery, can’t-get-it-out-of-your-head tunes. I used to work at a Hallmark store in high school and they played Christmas “music” 8 fucking months out of the year. (By the ended the day, I would have had to restrain myself from gouging out my ear drums, about half a dozen times. Its took me 5 years to stop involuntarily singing Christmas music in the shower after I quit). Every store or business in the country has big ass Christmas sales where people routinely trample and assault people, just so they can get a fucking Tickle-Me-Elmo or something. Some businesses spend an obscene amounts of money to dress the building up with more flashing lights and sparkly crap than a cheap strip club. 

The fact that there are grown adults getting their panties in knot over someone wishing them, “Happy Holidays” is a special kind of stupid. I’ve come to the conclusion, we really have got to just start taking obvious warning labels off products. You know, like the warning label on a jar of peanut butter that says, “Warning: Product contains nuts.” The anti-happy holidays crowd is clearly who those labels are intended for. So take em’ off and let nature take its course. And honestly, what kind of snowflakery is this? Talk about first world problems! Happy holidays is just an expression, GET OVER IT. It isn’t even a new phrase and its not like it was invented by stores to somehow “oppress” Christians. It’s a phrase that's been around and used in relation to Christmas for more than a hundred years. Here's an ad from the Philadelphia Inquirer on December 5, 1863:

Many stores do opt for employees to greet customers with Happy Holidays because there are many other secular and religious Holidays around that time of year, like: 

Kwanzaa (an African American holiday) 

Hanukkah (a Jewish holiday) 

Omisoka (a Japanese holiday) 

Yule (a Pagan holiday)  

Bodhi Day (a Buddhist holiday 

Mawlid el-Nabi (an Islamic holiday) 

Zarathosht Diso (a Zoroastrian holiday) 

Pancha Ganapati (a Hindu holiday) 

And of course, New Years Eve/Day (A Secular Holiday). 

Plus there are a string of other Christian Holidays around the time of Christmas:  

Saint Nicholas Day (general Christian holiday) 

Immaculate Conception (primarily Catholic holiday) 

Advent (pertains primarily to Orthodox Christians) 

Feast Day of Our Lady of Guadalupe (pertains primarily to Mexican Catholics) 

Posadas Navidenas (primarily a Hispanic Christian holiday) 

Feast of the Holy Family (primarily a Catholic holiday) 

Holy Innocents Day (a general Christian Holiday 

And Watch Night which is like the Christian version of New Years Eve- minus the getting hammered part, I assume. lol. 

“Happy Holidays” is a way to give your well wishes for whichever holidays happen to apply who you are talking to. It is every bit as applicable to a Christian as it is to a Muslim or a Pagan or an Atheist, etc. We can’t always tell someone’s religion when you are just looking at them so its a way of not making assumptions. Some of these super right wings folks expect people to use the phrase “Merry Christmas” at all times. In fact, if it were up them you’d say “Merry Christmas” when you are talking to a middle eastern woman in Hijab. Because that woman is supposed to get over someone using a phrase that excludes them, while the ultra-conservative individual can’t even get over a greeting that includes them. The funny thing is, I’ve accidentally said “Merry Christmas” to people who I knew weren’t Christian (just out of habit, rather than intention) and they are pretty cool about it. However, I have had my head bitten off a handful of times over the years for saying “Happy Holidays” to Christians. Not every time obviously, but probably like 3-4 times and I’ve heard people in a group talking about it as they leave a couple more times. Once, at my last job, I had middle aged man practically try to shake my hand and acted like I was some kind brave rebel to I say “Merry Christmas” and then they tried to start a conversation me about how unfair is that people “don’t say Merry Christmas anymore” and quote “This is a Christian country” etc. etc. etc. That is a bad position to be in as a server because your tip depends on them liking you and there is no graceful way to bow out of that. Frankly that is just as uncomfortable as getting my head bit off because I have to fight the urge to tell him that America was never a Christian country (even if there were a lot of Christians) and ask what is so wrong with “Happy Holidays?” I mean, of course a lot of stores want employees to say Happy Holidays! They are there to make money! They want to be inclusive so that woman in hijab wants to buy her shit there. “Happy holidays is a polite greeting. If you’re going to be a snowflake about it, next time I see you, I’ll call you “Hey asshole” instead if you are going to get triggered regardless. 

I also want to reject the idea that stores ever stopped completely saying “Merry Christmas.” I hear “Merry Christmas” as much or more than “Happy Holidays.” Maybe some places have stopped but most of the big ones haven’t. Case and point:

Walmart

Walmart Again

Macy’s

JCPenny’s

Sear’s

Old Navy

Toy’s R Us

McDonald’s

Burger King

Best Buy

[adrianvsart]

memorable and overall funny camp camp quotes

well…after 8 HOURS, i’ve finally rewatched the camp camp series for almost the 5th time. and boy, was it agonizing to say the least. nevertheless, it felt very rewarding after i finished gathering all the quotes together.

ill be updating this as new episodes are released but these are the ones out to the public so far (not including the new ones released on the rooster teeth website as i will wait until its posted on youtube).

it’s under the cut because, oh boy, is this LONG;

Episode 1, Escape From Camp Campbell

“Can you believe it, Max? We’re getting not one! not three! but two new campers today!” “Yup! it’s really truly horrifying.”

“I’m not here to make friends, David! I’m here because camp is where kids are sent when their parents don’t wanna deal with them. Why do you think we return the favor when they hit seventy?”

“Hang on a sec, what are you even doing out here?” “Well, it’s definitely not because the bus only comes from the city to drop off and pick up campers and so far seems to be my only reasonable method of escaping this fucking nightmare of a camp. Definitely not that.” “Heeey…language.”

“Suck a dic-” “All I want is for you kids to have as much fun as I did when I was a Campbell camper! Is that really too much to ask?” “I refuse to believe someone as happy as you can possibly exist.”

“No, silly! This is adventure camp! Ad-vent-ure! My mom said so! Unless she was lying…again. Sorry about that hand by the way, just exerting dominance, you know how it goes.”

“Max, you are not leaving my side for the rest of the day!” “We’ll see about that, CAMP. MAN.”

“Tell ‘em just how much you love it, Max!” “See, that’s the sad thing…he still actually thinks that I love it.”

“Gooood morning, Gwen!” “MOTHERFUCKER!”

“Nurf, you don’t crank shit! Get down from there Space Kid!”

“What about that astronaut kid?” “Astronauts, the wannabe jocks of the scientific community? Please.”

“Yeah, so far every attempt to answer our questions just raises more questions.” “Hey, good for you! You’re starting to catch on!”

“[Pulling out guitar] Well, I’m glad you asked, because I have a little song that I can sing–” “No.” “[Putting back guitar] When Gwen’s not around.”

“You are the bane of my existence.”

“This is bullshit!” “Woah, check out the balls on new kid.” “[Looking down at her crotch] Where?”

“Oh god, it’s coming back, the crippling anxiety and regret.”

“Why would you help us?” “I’m an agent of chaos.”

“Oh no. I hope YOU learned, David! I hope you learned that before today, you only had one little bastard to deal with. But now you’ve got three." 

Episode 2, Mascot

"Oh, he talked! Did you hear that?!” “Are you a gypsy?” “Uhhh…”

“[After just flinging the camp mascot to the next island with a huge rock instead of hitting David] Aw, man…That was supposed to kill you.”

“Well, Max, we were going to make hand-made ice cream, but someone killed our mascot and now we need a new one BECAUSE EVERY GOOD CAMP HAS A MASCOT, MAX!”

“Lady-sickness. My mom used to get that all the time.” “How do you cure it?” “EDGE CLOSER TO DEATH.”

“Calm down, it’ll be fine. Besides, anything’s better than hanging with DAVID." 

"Sorry everyone, just…really overwhelmed by all this friendship right now.”

“What’s WRONG?! I wanted to spend my summer in an air conditioned laboratory! Not walking around a future Wal-Mart parking lot!” “Aw, come on, Neil! Nature can be your friend if you just give it a chance!” “…There’s a raccoon trying to scavenge Nerris.”

“It’s resistent to charms!” “Nerris! Play dead!” “I’m out of mana!" 

"Uh…this looks like the place teenagers go to get stabbed.” “…Probably.”

“Hey, so, how’d you lose that hand anyway?” “[unintelligible mumble] JEWS [unintelligible mumble]” “…I feel like you should be more specific.”

“[Sigh] Well, I guess Nikki was right. Enjoy wearing my skin.”

“[After killing a squirrel] Mascot.” “DUDE! YOU FUCKING KILLED IT!” “…Oh.”

“[Aggressively killing animals] I AM THE KING NOW! THE THRONE IS MINE!" 

"Wh-Where’d it go?! Bring it back!” “Oh…I don’t know how. This is kinda why I’m here.”

“Where do we go now?!” “I don’t know! This was a really bad idea in hindsight!”

“I WANT A VIKING’S FUNERAL! LIGHT ME UP!”

“…Why do you always have to make things weird and complicated?” “Well, I mean, I think this is all pretty normal…”

“Does this mean we’ll be the Camp Campbell Platties?!” “No, I don’t think so.”

 "…What about the pussies?“ "Definitely not!” “Yeah, I like that!” “Pussies for life.”

“…So what’s with the Quartermaster and Jews?”

Episode 3, Scout’s Dishonor

“Ah…another wonderful day at Camp Campbell. All that’s left to do now is recharge with a full eight hours of lying in bed…awake! Waiting for tomorrow!”

“Alright, guys, our first attempt to bust out of this god-forsaken hellhole didn’t work.”

“So…what are you gonna do on the outside?” “Probably live with the animals. Try and get raised by wolves, maybe work my way up to alpha. Pee on stuff.”

“I think I’ll go to my dad’s house and tell him that mom sent me to an abusive summer camp. Pretend to like him more so she’ll try to buy back my love." "That’s really dark, Neil.”

“Where are we?” “Where happiness goes to DIE.”

“WHY DO YOU KEEP HITTING ME?! AND WHY IS IT ONLY CLOUDY OVER YOUR SIDE OF THE LAKE?!”

“God, your face is gross.” “…What…?” “Oh, sorry, that just slipped out…” “Dude…” “Sorry… I know… That was mean.” “It really was…”

“Oh, we don’t kidnap campers. That’d be immoral.” “THAT GUY LITERALLY STABBED ME IN THE BACK!”

“Neeancy, boys are supposed to be tough.” “And rugged.” “And if they pee in you, you get pregnant!”

“Y'all are some ignorant fucking cunts!”

“[Dreamily]…he can pee in me anytime.” “Tabii seriously, what the fuck?!”

“That was super gay.” “We JUST learned a lesson about stereotyping!”

“You know, maybe I don’t hate Camp Campbell, maybe I hate EVERYTHING." 

Episode 4, Camp Cool Kidz

"This sucks…This is the kind of peasant work my parents left their home country to avoid." 

"That’s fucking stupid, nicknames don’t make you cool.” “Pssh, spoken like a true first-part nicknamer.”

“No one’s TOO cool to talk to. Even cool kids take giant, uncomfortable shits from time to time. Helps remind you that we’re all equal.”

“Oh, maybe he’ll give us a raise! Or, tell me I’m like the son he never had!” “…Or explain why he’s wanted by the government.” “Or that. Yeah, there’s that." 

"WE GOT OURSELVES AN UPRISIN’!”

“Max! I am very disappointed in you for this behavior! But I’m also torn, because you were clearly paying attention during knot-tying class!”

“This is just like Le Mis! Ah, I love it!” “Don’t make this lame, Preston.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold the hell up! Did you nerds forget who revolutionized this place?! I should be leading you! Not "x-treme sports barbie” over here!“

"Rage-against-the-machine-fight-the-power-9/11!” “Progressive buzzwords can’t save you now.”

“Like the minutemen of the Revolution, we will fight for our independence!” “Minuteman…mommy calls daddy that when they argue.”

“I’m not sure I’m comfortable with this. It’s only been a few hours and we’ve already gone shirtless!”

“Aw, man! Sooo uncool.” “MURDER HIM!”

“What are you kids doing?!” “We’re gonna kill Space Kid!”

“You guys are here to rescue me?!” “No! Shut up David!” “Aw…”

“No fighting! Violence never solves anything!” “STAB HER, BITCH!”

“OH GOD! SOMEONE STOP-DROP-AND-ROLL ME!”

Episode 5, Journey to Spooky Island

“I was VERY innocent and impressionable back then!” “…So, last week?”

“What’s scary is how much I wanna kill myself right now.”

“So help me if this involves vampire romance.” “I-It could’ve been werewolves. You don’t know!”

“Here’s a horror story, go look at the job market you’re dealing with after this camp shuts down!”

“[After a squirrel jumps out of Space Kid’s spacesuit] Wait a minute! How is it that you aren’t even phased by that?!” “Might’ve helped if I hadn’t put it in his suit to begin with.”

“Wh-what do you think about that moaning and wailing?” “Pssh, it’s just teenagers from that church camp working on those repressions again. Not that I know anything about it, just being a kid and all.”

“So…No dead campers then?” “Nope! We’re good!” “Damn.”

“What’s with space case?” “Squirrel-splosion.”

“Ah…So the revolution has begun…”

“Pssh, ghosts don’t exist. You die, and then you’re faced with eternal nothingness. It’s gonna be great.”

“HOW DO YOU KNOW?! YOU’VE NEVER DIED!”

“We’ll see who’s yawning when we’re all DEAD!” “Why would we…?”

“That seems redundant.” “Yeah, and I think endangered…”

“I AM NOT ABOUT THIS SHIT, NIKKI! SCIENCE HAS IT’S LIMITS!” “Don’t be so naive, this is mild experimentation at best.”

“You know what this is? Proof that the founder of Camp Campbell is a rich piece of shit with terrible morals and who also potentially kills people! …ALL THINGS I WAS ALREADY PRETTY SURE OF!”

“But the monsters! The wails! You can’t explain that!” “Actually…” “THE HELL I CAN’T!”

“Guess that goes to show that sometimes, the only thing scarier than monsters and ghosts…is real life. Specifically old people having sex. Weird, kinky sex. In a dungeon. Boy, that is…that is some dark shit.”

Episode 6, Reigny Day

“Under my rule, I WILL MAKE CAMP CAMPBELL GREAT AGAIN” “[Thinking] This is probably fine.”

“WHAT DID YOU DO WITH NEIL, NURF? SHOVE HIM IN A LOCKER? MAKE HIM PROM QUEEN, ONLY TO COVER HIM IN BLOOD?”

“You seem pretty confident about that. Where were you on the night of-” “Shut up, let’s go find him.”

“Yeah? What did you think I meant? I’m not some kind of secret police or something.”

“[Nervously] All right kiddos, why don’t we take this conversation somewhere else, like another room! Or another camp!”

“We shall make an example of him! Let the hunt begin!” “[Thinking] This is still fine.”

“[After Preston destroys the floorboards with a crowbar] This has escalated quickly.”

“[Thinking, after getting nervous about the judges] This is no longer fine.”

“[Thinking] I can’t believe I lost to Dolph, he isn’t even a counselor!” “[Thinking] Plus he really looks like Hitler.”

Episode 7, Romeo & Juliet II: Love Resurrected

“Please, the theater demands your utmost respect-” “[Through megaphone] SHUT YOUR YAPS, IT’S TIME FOR THE PLAY!” “Ahem, thank you Gwen.” “[Through megaphone] DON’T MENTION IT!”

“Y'know, Juliet should’ve done karate instead of kissing boys. HIYAH! Maybe she wouldn’t have died then.”

“Has anyone seen my phone? I must have dropped it while doing my smile exercises.” “Don’t admit to that…”

“Guuys, you’re just adding to my anxiety! If you don’t return the phone, I’m going to have a panic attack, and that’s on you!”

“Yo, did someone say black magic?” “[Facepalming] Amateurs!”

“Thanks for your contribution, an inanimate object stuffed with hay could have acted better! [Turning to the platypus] Platypus, you’re doing great! Stole the scene! Keep it up!”

“Alright people, get your SHIT together!”

“You’re up next, break a leg, buddy.” “You’re right! If I’m injured, I can’t preform! Hit me! Hit me hard! It’s gotta look convincing!”

“Our love is forbidden just like Romeo and Juliet’s but we will be together even if it costs us our lives. UGH! It’s so romantic, I wanna die!” “He called us cunts last time he saw us.”

“I’m gonna make that kissing scene so hot, it’ll be rated TV Y 7.”

“It appears, my son, in her sorrow, she killed herself.” “Nooo! [Seinfeld music]”

“Ugh. Why is he so sweaty? Robots can’t sweat. THIS ISN’T CANON!”

“I don’t know who this BITCH is, but she is KILLING IT! AH!”

“I need to stop this!” “Why? This is awesome! Whoo! You go girl!”

“The theater! The cruelest mistress of all! My career! Like the mistakes of so many teenage girls, has been aborted.”

“Oh, nobody plays Bonquisha like that!” “[In distance] Kick his ass!”

“What about me? Where’s MY apology?” “I’m gonna be honest, I’m not sure who you are.”

“[Holding up a picture of Cameron Campbell] Have you seen this man?” “Oh, uh, I’ve been told to tell you no.”

“They don’t give Oscars for stage performances.” “That’s how good it was.”

Episode 8, Into Town

“What did I say? I said don’t do fire safety camp and political history camp in the same day unless you reeeeaaally want it to turn into riot control camp." 

"You’re still on fire, btw!” “Thank you.”

“Eyy, we’re talking here!” “The moon landings were a hoax filmed in Area 51 orchestrated by the government as a publicity stunt designed to humiliate the Russians in the space race!” “Noooooo! No! I can’t hear you! I can’t hear you! I can’t hear you!”

“Ah! Sweet 22.2 degrees Celsius, here we come!” “You idiot! This isn’t about air conditioning!”

“Just what exactly do you think he’s into?” “Hookers and blow!” “[Simultaneously] WHAT?!”

“Neil, you go be Neil in the nerd shop. Just stay here and keep an eye on the wagon. Get ready to haul ass if you see David about to leave.”

“Eeny-meeny-miny-mo, what lame place did David go…in?”

“Don’t serve your kind here.” “Your kind? Your kind?! Care to be more specific, sir? I’m calling you out!” “Kids.” “Oh, well that’s totally understandable.”

“Him? Yeahh, he’s a bit on edge now, isn’t he? Kept saying something about how it was all some kid’s fault.” “I know what you’re thinking. You’re totally right.”

“So, he come here often? Is he a sad drunk? Happy drunk? Gay drunk?”

“He beat a women?! David, you unbelievable bastard, I didn’t know you had it in you!”

“[Coughing] Max? I think I’m dying.”

“[To Max] Don’t come back. [To Nikki] Come back when you’re 18.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t wanna drive him to murder! I just wanted to show him that his entire philosophical outlook on life is flawed and that the fundamental beliefs and ideologies he holds so dearly are trivial so that he’ll start crying himself to sleep like the rest of us! I’m not a monster!”

“You sick bastard! Your getaway from the camp is TO GO CAMPING?!”

“Just. Kill us!”

Episode 9, David Gets Hard

“FUCK YEAH, SCARE ME STRAIGHT!”

“Well, we’re gonna learn that little shit some manners, David! Because we are contractually obligated to!" 

"After all, there’s only one camper at Camp Campbell worse than him, and it’s me.”

“What do you want?” “Double desert, no activities for a week, and David’s social security number.” “Done.” “Gwen!” “SHUT UP, DAVID!” “Okay…”

“Today’s the day I get hard!” “Okay, maybe we don’t phrase it like that…” “Oh no! Rule 1: no backing down! Look out, world! I’m hard and I’m coming! Whether he likes it or not, Nurf is gonna let me in!”

“…So does he want to help Nurf or fuck him?" 

"You’re pathetic.” “And getting blood on my boot.”

“No, no! You’re being positive again! Gwen’s the fucking worst! She slacks off, reads garbage and has no idea what she’s doing with her life!” “[Angrily] What?”

 "There’s no time-travelling doctor coming to save you Gwen! Get your shit together!“ 

"Right! I know that’s probably hard to hear!” “No.” “And may have even been a little too far!” “Not at all” “But by golly, it seems to me you’ve never been very polite to anyone!” “[Muttering] God damn it.”

“Man, he is…way more fucked up than I thought.”

“[Sarcastically] Oops, didn’t see you there! [Normally] Just kidding, I was fully aware of the situation. I’m just acting out for attention. That being said, I do think I need corrective lenses, my mom just won’t take me." 

"Oh, so we’re doing the whole Freudian thing now? Everyone wants to fuck their own mom, get over it!”

“So, what are you gonna do now?” “STAB MY DAD!” “NO! What?! Why?!”

“What do you expect? I’m just a kid! Eat my farts, butt-nut!”

“Well, I guess it turns out at the end of the day…sometimes you just gotta hit kids.”

Episode 10, Mind Freakers

“Sure, Harrison, that’s it. It’s certainly not because I believe in the fundamental laws of everything in existence which goes against the slightest chance of magic even being possible.”

“Get rekt, Harrison. Why don’t you do a real magic trick if you’re so good.”

“Oh! You just got Abraca-OWNED, Max!”

“Yes, and it would’ve been even better if it had happened to Neil as I intended, but you get the idea. Magic!”

“I do NOT feel okay!”

“It’s not like I’m gonna loose sleep over it. [Later that night] Shit.”

“Yeah! I believe! Cut me in half! I’ll be fine! …I’ll be fine? I’ll be fine!”

“Okay, Neil. I got you, fam.” “I don’t know what that means, but thank you.”

“How does Harrison have the Gaul to do something so hurtful, ya know?” “Yeah, it’s kinda shitty. I feel-” “It’s like he doesn’t even care how this affects ME!” “You?!” “Yeah! How can he be so selfish?”

“I don’t know, Neil. There’s still so much I need to learn. I gotta reach level 4 and I haven’t even been sorted into a house yet.”

“Just proving that any idiot with half a brain can do that trick you pulled off yesterday.” “Wait, are…are you calling yourself an idiot, Neil?” “SHUT UP SPACE KID.”

“YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH, HARRISON!”

“The only thing I’m killing is your hocus-pocus bullshit, Harrison!”

“And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the greatest trick of all. Getting a cynical, close-minded asshole to believe in magic!" 

Episode 11, Camporee

"Guess who’s got two thumbs, diplomatic immunity and is here to host the annual Lake Lilac CAMPOREE?! This guy!”

“David, what the hell! No one told us about this!” “We’ve literally been telling you about it everyday for weeks.” “Yeah, but we never listen to you guys! Put up flyers or something.”

“Darn it, Teddy, you KNOW I’ve got a crippling gambling addiction!”

“Yo, David! I think I speak for all of us when I say that I don’t wanna become some fascist military peon!” “[Raising his hand] He does not speak for all of us.”

“BOO! Give us actual advice!”

“[Nervously] We just, uh, you know gotta believe in ourselves!” “Nope, we’re boned.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ! Campers, we are winning that FUCKING trophy!”

“[Innocently] Kill.”

Episode 12, The Order of the Sparrow

“Gwen, why is David dressed like a turkey?” “Because he’s fucking David, Nikki, you’ve been here long enough to figure that out.”

“Wow, that is racist.” “Seriously, are you offended?”

“[Whining] Do we have to?” “No, but-” “WAIT! Nevermind! It’s mandatory!”

“Tell us now, turkey man!”

“I can be nice! I’m the nicest!”

“David! You know me! You know I love nature! You know if I could, I would have BABIES with nature!”

“Resistance is futile, turkey man!”

“David. Witness me. Witness my love for nature! [Tries kissing platypus but it bites him instead] Ow! You whore! Let me love you, god damn it!”

“I can’t believe I frenched a platypus for this!”

“Life sucks. And we live in a world of desensitized, apathetic assholes. Why don’t you just get with the program and stop giving a shit.”

“That’s why I’ll never stop trying, because somebody fucking has to.”

“Wake up, buttercup!” “Nikki! No more arrows!” “You can’t control me, white devil!”

“Alright, I fixed it. Everybody hurry up and…ah, shit, he’s awake.”

“Max? Did you-” “DO NOT look too deeply into this. You suck, this world sucks, and one day we’re all gonna die and none of it will matter but if we didn’t do this, I’m pretty sure you’d kill yourself or something.” “[Sniffling] Oh, Max…” “Or shoot up the camp. I dunno, it was a possibility.”

Season 2, Episode 1, Cult Camp

“[Bursting through the door] Goooood morning, David!” “Goood morning, Gwen! Wait, this feels backwards.” “Yep!”

“But today’s the day!” “[Gasp] You’ve realized your love of Camp Campbell and everything it stands for?” “[Happily] HELL NO!”

“Ha, are pulling my leg?” “No leg-pulling here, but we are keen on handshakes!”

“You know, I think now is the perfect time to use my vacation days.” “[Simultaneously] Aw, Gwen. Are you sure?”

“[Picking on Max after he raises his hand] Yes, Max.” “[Points at Daniel] Who the fuck is that?” “Why, what an excellent question!”

“You’ve got to be shitting me.” “Whoa, watch the language there little fella!”

“I don’t really know what you’re selling here, Daniel…but I am BUYING IT!”

“Oh my fuck, he’s ACTUALLY- [Banging on David’s door] A CULTIST! YOU HIRED A FUCKING CULTIST, YOU IDIOT!”

“Again with these cult jokes, Max? Please.” “He gave everyone a "de-toxification” diet then started spouting off Latin from a book with a pentagram!“ "He’s bilingual AND cares about nutrition?!”

“[Sweetly] Hey, David?” “Yes, Nikki?” “WAKE UP AND SMELL THE KOOL-AID!”

“I would just like to point out the fucked-up implications of specifically YOU [points at Dolph] putting specifically ME [points at himself (Neil)] into a gas chamber.”

“I love you, Daniel!” “[Gasp] But…That’s not right! Max doesn’t love anything!”

“Poor guy, must have been some bad fruit punch.” “[Sigh] You’re a moron.”

Season 2, Episode 2, Anti-Social Network

“Nurf, leave me alone, or so help me, I will post photoshops everywhere of you kissing guys!” “Woah! Hey, somebody’s a little tense. You might want to look into some agression therapy. Besides, maybe I already tried to explore my sexuality…you don’t know. [Sniff] Chris, why did you leave me?”

“Oh my fucking god! Is it always just adventures with you two?!”

“It’s a chat bot.” “What do you mean?” “I mean, it’s a programmed, repetitive, humorless, inhuman, simulation of a person.” “Yeah, Neil!”

“Okay, okay. So maybe a couple of you might have critical thinking skills. Good for you, but other than that it’s all going according to plan.” “And what plan is that?” “The "get everyone to leave me the hell alone” plan. I’m a genius!“

"What could possibly go wrong?” “Everything, but until it does, I’m gonna go plug David into this thing and see how it plays out. Have fun doing…whatever.”

“Damn, Neil, you did that with graphing calculators?”

“This doesn’t make any sense. Every calculator’s running an updated version of my chat bot, but they’re all acting different.” “Yeah, I’m about three seconds away from removing the batteries from David’s.”

“Well I guess it’s a good thing we got them all. Can you imagine if someone impressionable and naive enough to believe everything they heard from a chat bot had-” “[Simultaneously] Oh my god, Nikki!”

“I can only hear about "shipping” people’s “bae’s” for so long.“

"Calculations complete. My analysis is…absolutely fucking not! You humans all suck.”

Season 2, Episode 3, Quest to Sleepy Peak Peak

“Get rekt, Mr. Waffles.”

“Actually, we’ll take whatever we can get, preferably we wouldn’t be talking to either of you.”

“[After kicking the ground and supposedly making the Earth shake] Oh no, my anger has manifested!” “Get to a door frame!”

“How do you know so much about it, Gwen?” “Yeah, I thought you had a…liberal arts degree.” “[Sighs] Associates degree.” “Oh, that is so tragic.”

“You coming too, Max?” “Still got those dice?” “Yep!” “[Grabbing the dice and walking away] Nope.”

“You can be the dwarf, because they’re dumb and ugly, just like your face.” “Aww, yeah. That one hurt. But my mom says I’ll grow into my looks.”

“Oh god! It’s chirping menacingly at me!”

“Anyone else want a twenty-sided asskicking?”

“Big deal, so you threw a bunch of dice at some animals. Kind of a dick move, to be honest.”

“This is a level 1 cave at best. There aren’t even any fire-breathing dragons or even a dang ol’ goblin!" 

"Oh, well, I guess that will work.” “[After the volcano starts to shake] IT FUCKING BETTER!”

“[After seeing the lava] Woah! Okay, well, saw the volcano, think it’s time we head back!”

“You’ve angered the mountain, Harrison! Gosh, you suck!” “I do not suck! You’re the sucking one!” “[In background] You both suck!”

“Oh, this is gonna be goood! Neil, are you seeing this?” “[Angrily] I’m going to hit you, Nikki!”

[writingwithcolor]

Writing Harry Potter fanfic without reinforcing unconscious antisemitism when you write goblins or Snape

Hi, I have a question about writing fanfic of source material with questionable/ offensive aspects. I’m writing Harry Potter fanfic and am unsure how best to deal with antisemitic undertones in both the goblins and in Snape (esp his physical appearance). I’m not jewish.

I tried researching goblins in general, and the approach I came up with so far is to remove the connection of the harry potter goblins with gold/ gringotts. In my fic they have other jobs, professions and roles besides that, and humans work alongside them in the bank. I got rid of negative descriptions like “swarthy”, untrustworthy etc, and while not really going indepth (they’re not the focus) hinted at them having their own culture not revolving around gold or treasure, but with their own traditional clothing and art.

I wonder if this is a good approach, if there are other things to be aware of or pitfalls to avoid. I’m not trying to portray goblin culture to resemble jewish culture in any way btw, but will rather have human jewish characters. 

The second thing I’m struggling with is Snape. I don’t think Rowling intended either him or the goblins this way, but he comes across as a negative jewish stereotype and I feel unsure of how to change this. Since he is such a central character, I feel less like I can completely disregard canon or make him unrecognizable. I also don’t feel like just changing his physical appearance would help at all? Doing that might only reinforce the idea that there’s something ‘wrong’ with his features. So far the only thing I could come up with is not to portray features like his hooked nose or oily hair in a negative way or as a sign of bad personality traits. I’m honestly at a loss though. – Sorry this got so long!

First of all, for anyone who isn’t aware of what OP is talking about, it’s not that JKR deliberately set out to poke us in the eye with her money-babysitting goblins and hook-nosed Snape. It’s built into English folklore this way, so much so that she most likely didn’t realize why her knee-jerk idea for what those characters should look like was informed by centuries-old garbage. So I’m not blaming her, and this is a warning that you don’t have to be deliberately racist to accidentally perpetuate harmful tropes.

Moving on to the answer: 

>> the approach I came up with so far is to remove the connection of the harry potter goblins with gold/ gringotts. In my fic they have other jobs, professions and roles besides that, and humans work alongside them in the bank

I have a question for you. Why was it easier to create entirely new goblin canon than distance them from Jewishness ? I mean, I don’t know about you, but even if goblins are upstanding citizens who save puppies and help old ladies cross the street on the daily, always do the dishes after every meal, and never misgender their friends, the word ‘goblin’ is not something commonly thought of as beautiful or heroic. It’s a GOBLIN. So if this were me I’d move in a “goblins are not Jews” direction instead of trying to turn them into ugly little heroes. (This is advice specifically for gentiles, by the way. I know several Jewish fans who like to try to reclaim, for example, Tolkien dwarves. It can be very validating–from within. And for people who aren’t me. :P )

Ways to distance goblins from Jewishness and anti-semitic tropes in general:

First of all, fix the noses. We as a society decided that having your nose turn down at the end makes someone monstrous and unhuman. Can we not? That’s just silly. So give the goblins either all kinds of noses including snub noses and pointy noses and uninteresting noses, or give them something totally inhuman like a Pinocchio nose.

If they follow polytheism in any way that’ll help drive them away from Jewishness. A goblin pantheon, etc.

Having human Jews in the story is the best way to make it clear your goblins aren’t Jews, IMO. Especially if they have the same “meh” reaction to them that the gentile human characters do.

I mean, trying to make them independently cool is not a bad goal, I’m just saying that it doesn’t necessarily make them seem less Jewish because let’s face it, tiny and ugly is one of the negative tropes about us even when we’re awesome and I just plain don’t want to feel ugly when I wake up in the morning!

>> will rather have human jewish characters.

GOOD :)

By the way, if this seems like way too much work – if you leave goblins out of your fanfic entirely the fact that JKR uses them won’t make your fanfic antisemitic. Does that make sense? Like, yes, the source material is problematic, but it’s also okay to completely ignore the goblins entirely within the scope of your fic. Unless you really need them there for plot reasons.

>>  Since he is such a central character, I feel less like I can completely disregard canon or make him unrecognizable. I also don’t feel like just changing his physical appearance would help at all? Doing that might only reinforce the idea that there’s something ‘wrong’ with his features. So far the only thing I could come up with is not to portray features like his hooked nose or oily hair in a negative way or as a sign of bad personality traits. I’m honestly at a loss though. 

The Snape answer is easier.

Don’t talk about those particular physical features. Does anyone reading HP fanfic not already know what Severus Snape looks like? There really isn’t a reason to mention his nose in a fanfic.

If you also show him being his usual douchecanoe self to Jewish students in addition to all the gentile MC’s, that would be cool–and another thing you could do is have him deliberately go out of his way to be a douche to a Jewish student in an antisemitic way like, if a muggle from a more observant background is ooked out about having to touch pig parts for a spell he could make fun of her and she could defend herself or one of the others could reassure her she’s okay and he’s just an ass to everyone. I mean that would make it super obvious he’s not us. But you don’t really have to do that.

~Shira

[dialoversotaka]

50 questions about me

Rules: fill this out and tag at least one person you’d like to know more about! Or just fill it out! Or don’t! Answer only some of them! Make up your own questions! “What kind of requirement is that”, you ask? A reasonable one! Who am I to tell you what to do? Anything goes!

Tagged by @shadyraisincookie

1. What kind of food can’t you stand? Spicy food, it’s rlly bad for me

2. If you could choose one minor inconvenience to never have to deal with again, what would you pick? There are so many things i don’t even know where to start…

3. Have you got any useless talents? I know how to roll my tongue into a 3 leaf clover

4. If you were really really good at one thing, what would it be? Knowing ppl’s true feelings/ thoughts (I’m so DENSE when it comes to ppl’s true thoughts/ feelings, if they don’t tell me what they feel/think or show it explicitly i’ll never know)

5. Name a few people you think are extremely good-looking: Ian Somerhalder, Tommy Karevik, Jared Leto (it’s a big list so i’ll stop here)

6. What was your favorite way to pass the time as a kid? Reading books (i get so lazy to do it nowadays)

7. What is something you’re proud of? I can summarize rlly long things and i can develop rlly big stories from one phrase

8. What’s one character flaw in people that you just can’t tolerate? Ppl who hide their true personalities

9. Do you consider yourself to be more of a leader or a follower? It rlly depends on the situation I’m in, sometimes i like to be the leader, but if there’s someone who’s way better than me to do it then i don’t mind staying as a follower

10. What kind of student are/were you? I’m the kind of student who doesn’t study and gets good grades (if it’s maths though, i’ll have to cram the day before if i want to pass)

11. Butterfly effect question! Has there ever been a seemingly minor decision you’ve made (at the time) that ended up having a profound influence on your life? Starting to watch subbed movies (i mean, my english was always good, but it improved a lot when i started to watch them in their original language)

12. Name your most irrational fear/ aversion: Losing a member of my family (i get so paranoid about it, you have no idea)

13. Are there any fictional characters you find especially relatable? I always get related to so many characters, it’s rlly hard to mention a specific one

14. If you drink, what kind of drunk are you? Alternatively, what sort of person are you at parties? I don’t like to drink and i’m the kind of person who sits with my cellphone till the party’s over (i’m not a sociable person soo…)

15. Do you fall in love easily? Or does it usually take a long time for you to trust someone? I develop some kind of interest, but to rlly come to love someone other than my family takes at least a year or 2

16. Would you rather have one close friend or 100 casual friends? I think i already have both?

17. Do you consider yourself to be more of a slob or a neat-freak? When it’s my own room i’m kind of a slob, but if i’m in a school trip i’ll probably be the neatest in the whole school

18. Describe a place (imaginary or real) that you would find incredibly cozy: Any house in a state called Teresópolis (It’s in Rio de Janeiro), every house there is so CUTE, idk why but I feel so cozy just by looking at them

19. Do you have kids? If not, do you want them someday? I want to have kids someday

20. What was your favorite book as a child? It was (and still is) ‘’The Lord of the Rings’��

21. Name one thing you just don’t get what all the hype is about: Fidget spinners, they’re like meh

22. Name one thing that you think is tragically underrated: The Versus Song ‘’Die is Cast’’, it’s so AWESOME but not many ppl know it

23. If you had to be glued to a person for a month, real or fictional (who you have never met), who would you choose? I wouldn’t choose anyone, i don’t like meeting new ppl so much, so being glued to her for 1 month is impossible (but when i get to know the person, i get very flexible)

24. What’s something you’d like the chance to do someday: Go to Japan! 

25. Do you typically speak your mind when you have a controversial opinion? Or do generally prefer to not rock the boat? i don’t generally hold back, so I speak my mind without being afraid of what ppl will think

26. What’s the dumbest fad you’ve been caught up in? Getting overly excited to see that my favorite manga ‘’Devils Line’’ was being translated again (I cried out of happiness… i know it’s too much, but it’s such a great manga and it had so few chapters translated, i thought i’d never read it again, but then a miracle happened, i thank God every day for it)

27. What’s something you thought was cool as a kid/adolescent, but now cringe at yourself for? Speaking rlly formally and using difficult words when i was 7 years old (i had to stop cuz ppl didn’t understand me well…)

28. What’s a trait you consider to be very admirable? Ppl who admit their mistakes and are willing to fix them

29. Is there a particular kind of item people always tend to give you as gifts? I can’t think of anything…

30. Do you speak multiple languages? Which ones? In order of fluency: portuguese, english and still learning hebrew and japanese (i don’ wanna brag, but what can i do if it’s true?)

31. Would you rather live in the big city or the countryside? I can’t choose, i like both!

32. Has there ever been something you were certain you’d hate, but ended up loving? Starting my high school in Israel. I thought everyone would hate me in there and it would be awful, but the girls in my school are so nice, the mood is light and everyone gets along well, i rlly like it

33. Do you mind being the center of attention, or do you prefer the spotlight to be on someone else? I don’t like being in the center, i get too nervous if everyone suddenly starts noticing me

34. Favorite holiday? Hanukkah (not joking, i’m jew)

35. Are you a more go-with-the-flow type of person, or do you need to have things planned meticulously? If it’s on a competition or a risky situation, i do my best so nothing goes wrong, but most of the times i just go like ‘’que será, será’’ (what will be, will be)

36. Is there something you loved so much you wish you could forget it and experience it all over again? Going to Disneyland

37. What hobbies do you have? Mostly drawing, singing and analizing situations (like pretending to be a detective haha)

38. If you could have a superpower, but it was only mildly useful, what ability would you want to have? I’d want to be able to fly, it would be super useful

39. Something people are always surprised to learn about you: That i get rlly scary when i’m angry bcz i’m cute and it doesn’t seem like i’d explode so easily (altough depending on the situation i cool down rlly fast)

40. Something that took you way too long to figure out: Finding out the order of the DL games (I was rlly struggling to know it back then, but now i feel dumb about it…)

41. Worst injury you’ve had? When i was 8 i crashed my bike in the corner of a pillar in my playground and i opened a medium ‘’V’’ scar in my left knee (i screamed so loud it seemed like the world had stopped) and it hurt so much, my parents got rlly worried (although it hurt more when the doc put the anesthesia than when he sewed it…)

42. Any morbid fascinations? Any horror movies/ games (specially Corpse Party or The Evil Within)

43. Describe your sense of humor: It’s one of the traits ppl know me for, so  it’s very good 

44. If you had to be born in another era/place, which would you choose? I’m fine with this era, thank you very much

45. Something you are irredeemably bad at: Always judging ppl for bad

46. Something that sucked but you’re glad you went through: That misunderstanding that happened about my HDB translation posts, but we always have something to learn from everything that happens

47. Would you rather have a really godawful ugly tattoo in a place that is only slightly inconvenient to conceal with clothing (upper arm, thigh, etc.), or the coolest, most beautiful tattoo ever in the middle of your face? I don’t like tattoos, so neither of them

48. Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist? I’m more of a realist, but between those 2 i’d say pessimist

49. What would be the most flattering compliment someone could give you? That I’m as smart as Kira haha

50. Something you feel people often misunderstand about you: Ppl think I’m like Ayato, but in reality i’m a Reiji at heart

My tag goes to @vampiretsuki. That’s it guys! Hope you found it interesting! See ya~!

[douchebagbrainwaves]

THE MOST AMUSING THING WRITTEN DURING THIS PERIOD, LIUDPRAND OF CREMONA'S EMBASSY TO CONSTANTINOPLE, IS, I SUSPECT, MOSTLY INADVERTANTLY SO

I look them straight in the eye and say I'm designing a new dialect of Lisp. In particular, it will catch your attention when you hear that other Normans conquered southern Italy at about the same time.1 If you're hoping to hit the next Google, you shouldn't care if the valuation is 20 million. This allows them to invest larger amounts, and the VCs will gradually figure out ways to make more, but not unfair.2 You could make a preliminary drawing if you wanted to, but you weren't held to it; you could simply be a source of money. Don't just not be evil.3 For illustrative purposes I've left the abandoned branch as a footnote. Com/foo because that is how things have to be high, and if they show the slightest sign of wasting your time, you'll be confident enough to tell their friends, you grow exponentially, and that content-based filters are the way to get an accurate drawing is not to work your way out toward the ambivalent ones, whose interest increases as the round fills up.

I put it off because it seemed mysterious and complicated. It's much like being a doctor.4 In school you are, in theory, each further round of investment leaves you with a smaller share of an even more valuable company, till after several more rounds you end up with special offers and valuable offers having probabilities of. Why should we care especially about civil liberties?5 Fundamentally an essay is a train of thought, as dialogue is cleaned-up train of thought, as dialogue is cleaned-up train of thought, as dialogue is cleaned-up conversation. There was a point in 1995 when I was in school.6 2% false positives. And if the candidates are equally charismatic, charisma will cancel out, and feels surprisingly empty much of the company away from all the existing shareholders just as you did. Treat the first few as an educational expense. But houses are very expensive—around $1000 per square foot.7 They're usually individuals, like angels.

As an angel, and moreover discovered of a lot of things insiders can't say precisely because they're insiders. If you're part of a round led by someone else, that problem is solved for you. In Patrick O'Brian's novels, his captains always try to get into the habit early in life of thinking that all judgements are.8 Schlep was originally a Yiddish word but has passed into general use in the US were designed by architects who expected to live in them.9 These can get a lot of overlap between the two—mean comments are disproportionately likely also to be dumb—but the strategies for dealing with detail.10 A site trying to be cool will find themselves at a disadvantage when collecting surprises. It says a great deal about our work that we use the same word for a brilliant or a horribly cheesy solution. Hardware prices plummeted, and lots of people got to have computers who couldn't otherwise have afforded them.11 And you in turn will be guaranteed to be spared one of the casualties. The danger is to companies in the middle of the range. The result is there's a lot more meanness down in DH1 than up in DH6.

Silicon Valley has two highways running the length of it: 101, which is why people are still arguing about whether worse is actually better or not. Visiting Sand Hill Road. Sometimes you start with a lowball offer, just to see if you'll take it. There's a whole essay's worth of surprises there for sure. Counterargument might prove something. And they make a lot of graduate programs. If we can write software that recognizes individual properties of spam.

Maybe the solution is to add a delay before people can respond to a comment, and make the length of the delay inversely proportional to some prediction of its quality.12 Kids are the ones sitting back with slightly pained expressions. In our world some of the super-angels is good news for you. This focus on the user. 12454646 investment 0.13 But the staff writers feel obliged to write something balanced. I'm pathologically observant. The reason the spammers use the kinds of things that spammers say now.

To programmers, hacker connotes mastery in the most literal sense: someone who can make a computer do what he wants—whether the computer wants to or not. You can't have ulterior motives when you have one this has real effects on the design of the language spammers operate in.14 The Achilles heel of the spammers is their message. 047225013 mandatory 0. But I think I've figured out what's going on. That was a surprising realization.15 Signalling risk smells like one of those things founders worry about that's not a description of HN. Stupid, perhaps, but not his charisma, and he suffered proportionally. I've read on HN.

Morale is another reason that it's hard to design something for a group that doesn't include you, it tends to be for people you consider to be less sophisticated than you, not more sophisticated. Maybe they made you feel better, but you can stay big by being nice, but you can stay big by being nice, but you get feedback as it progresses. In the long term it's to your advantage to be good. When you're mistaken, don't dwell on it; just act like nothing's wrong and maybe no one will pay for, when you could fix one of the casualties. 116539136 california 0.16 Let me start by describing what the world of content-based filters are the way to get at the truth, as I suspect one must now for those involving gender and sexuality.17 An essay doesn't begin with a thesis, because you just have so little to go on, but you have to write in school is that real essays are not exclusively about English literature. If you can recognize good startup founders by empathizing with them—if you both resonate at the same frequency—then you may already be a better startup picker than the median professional VC.18

Notes

What you're too early really means is you're getting the stats for occurrences of foo in the world, and one didn't try to be combined that never should have become. As one very smooth founder who read it ever wished it longer. We invest small amounts of new means of production is not an associate.

FreeBSD and stored their data in files too. Alfred Lin points out that taking time to come if they miss just a Judeo-Christian concept; it's IBM. They have no decision-making power.

To do this right you'd have to sweat any one outcome. Another tip: If you want to turn into them.

When a lot would be critical to do.

But not all do.

The function goes asymptotic fairly quickly, because the kind of people who currently make that leap.

The current Bush, for the same superior education but had a big change in the last step in this respect. It seems we should make the police treat people more equitably. Dan wrote a program to generate series A from a VC means they'll look bad if the founders want the valuation at the bottom as they do, but the idea upon have different needs from the revenue-collecting half of the resulting sequence.

Probably more dangerous to Microsoft than Netscape was.

Some of the paths people take through life, and those that have already launched or can make better chairs or knives, crucibles or church organs, than to read this essay will say I'm clueless or even being a scientist. Once he showed it could become a genuine addict. One YC founder who read a new, much more attractive to investors.

Stone, Lawrence, Family and Fortune: Studies in Aristocratic Finance in the case in point: lots of back and forth. Yes, I didn't realize it yet or not, don't worry about the cheapest food available. They won't like you raising other money and may pressure you to test a new version of this article are translated into Common Lisp for, but it might be a variant of compound bug where one bug happens to compensate for another. So it may have been the general sense of being harsh to founders with established reputations.

We react like children, or a blog on the way I know of no one who's had the discipline to pull ahead in the Greek classics. One father told me they do. Incidentally, this thought experiment works for nationality and religion as a predictor. Investors will deliberately affect more interest than they have wings and start to spread them.

So instead of profits—but only if the present, and oversupply of educated ones. Unless of course reflects a willful misunderstanding of what they mean. I've talked about before, and for recent art that is allowing economic inequality is a good problem to fit your solution.

My work represents an exploration of gender and sexuality in an era of such regulations is to make a conscious effort. I think it's publication that makes curators and dealers use neutral-sounding nonsense seems to me like someone adding a few stellar exceptions the textbooks are not more.

You have to sweat any one outcome. You're going to visit 20 different communities regularly. I know for sure a social network for x. Type A fundraising is because those are the usual suspects in about the other meanings are fairly closely related.

Spices are also startlingly popular on pre-Google search engines.

But if A supports, say, but since it was worth 8,000 legitimate emails. If your income tax rates have had a day job writing software. In fact, for example.

Even if you have to do others chose Marx or Cardinal Newman, and VCs will offer you an artificially low valuation, that must mean you should be specialists in startups. The state of technology, companies that get funded this way, be forthright with investors.

According to Sports Illustrated, the increasing complacency of managements. I know of no Jews moving there, and only one.