#people paid. that much money. for those live vocals

[dameferre]

so no one was gonna tell me tswifs live vocals sounded like that huh

[vintageseawitch]

HEY CHECK IT OUT

what the fuck.

if you're out of the loop, there's been a TON of activity in political tiktok, specifically in the leftist space. an obvious talkie has been attempting to spread the lie that they were paid $15,000 by the DNC (which turns out to be a lie; it was $10,000 from a third party group called Vocal so the content creator can make content about Project 2025) & then made the claim that any content creator speaking well about Democrats were all getting paid to do so, which was also a lie & even if it wasn't, who cares? people put in a ton of work & don't often get paid enough.

the next big issue: this tankie, who is a white woman that lives in California, made an outrageous claim that Angela Davis wasn't a true member of the Black Panthers & now the explosive & entirely valid conversations about racism & white supremacy exist even in leftist spaces are taking that area by storm.

black women have been talking about it quite a bit & by now they're annoyed because it sounds like they're defending Kamala Harris even though they may not like her or her policies even if they may be voting for her anyways or not.

the input & knowledge from black women is important & we all need to listen. the fact is that as white people exist, we're living in a system founded on & upheld by white supremacy & what's worse is in leftist spaces, because people believe they're the ultimate ally, they don't need to put in anymore work.

but then things get sticky. things get uncomfortable. they have to be white saviors & once again, black & indigenous folks living here will pay the price.

certain leftists can claim they're anti-genocide as much as they wish but they're only partially against a specific one going on. i don't blame them for caring because everyone should give a damn about people going through something so horrific. that said, whatever horrors have been going on to our fellow man here don't seem to bother them as much. there may be some compassion here & there but nowhere near the level of devotion to people across an ocean from us.

then you get the shit in the above screenshot. a chaos agent. a putin puppet, who is stanned by the likes of Kshama Sawant, an accelerstionist as far as i can tell as well as Hassan Abdel Salam, both of whom have admitted they know they can't win but they want Harris to lose ignoring the fact that trump wants to deport them & others like them no matter how long they may have lived here. you get jill stein, someone who can immediately call netanyahu & Biden war criminals but when pressed about her precious putin suddenly she has a problem with "name calling" (the KGB should have trained her better). she's received money from Republicans for her campaign. she's getting help from trump lawyers. trump personally thanked her by name in a speech earlier this year because even he knows she's another tool for him.

it's wild how green party voters call those voting for Harris "blue maga" but they themselves are behaving more like original maga than they will care to admit let alone see. i'm not saying that there aren't those who think Harris is perfect, but i hardly see such blind devotion the way i see people have for trump & stein. both are cult leaders. they say things their followers want to hear.

stein's response?

oh no you don't. this was from 2016:

she's full of it. a KKK leader felt safe enough to endorse her & i'm now seeing her cult followers defending her, such as believing that he was paid by Democrats to do this & that we're apparently celebrating Dick Cheney's endorsement (i saw one comment saying people think Cheney is "brat" lmao) even though there had been zero celebrating & mostly trepidation & astonishment. he's clearly not voting for Harris because he has a change of heart; even if it's for selfish reasons, he & a bunch of other old Republicans see the danger that trump possesses. they're not agreeing with policies from Harris because she's "far right" (a bullshit claim anyways); they're agreeing that any extremist takeover is NOT GOOD. leftists refuse to see this perspective.

so like i mentioned earlier, it's white supremacy. jill stein has taken a once noble party & bastardized it to the point that white supremacists & antisemites feel safe in her space (i'm not saying that being pro-Palestine means you're an antisemite. i'm pointing out that Duke is also an antisemite). it's disgusting & disturbing. she's a wealthy white woman who won't be harmed by Project 2025. she wants trump to win & she & her rabid followers are working to make that happen.

third party voters, you aren't safe. you are accelerstionists to me now regardless of reason. your voting this way or not voting at all isn't brave or impressive, it's selfish, a surrender, cowardly. you don't want to get your hands dirty but when things go to shit you will refuse to take any responsibility for your part in it. the revolution you want so badly is nothing more than your version of the Rapture & the only revolution that will be happening is a fascist one because Republicans know how to play a long game to get real results unlike you leftists. they love that your tunnel vision self-righteousness makes you stupid & willing to throw your fellow vulnerable Americans under the bus so you get to feel morally superior.

you're monstrous. i'm not bothering to try to beg or play nice with you lot since you're no better than trump's maga. a former KKK leader endorsed your precious savior & nothing you say will change that. to make excuses is to make your space safe for white supremacy. you're unsafe.

[redhotchilisimblr]

rant about the sims 4

new roadmap unpopular opinion :

i’m quite satisfied with this roadmap. i mean, we got so many EPs in 2023 that I can barely catch up (I haven’t fully explored growing together, not finished my ranch and still setting residential lots..) there are so many things to do and a lot of simmers want “content for having content”, and are not actually playing the game. i know that we don’t play at the same speed (I'm very slow, I don’t age my Sims, haven’t finished Willow Creek.. so it says a lot), but how can you complain that EA releases too many packs, but at the same time request for more and more expensive packs? lmao it doesn’t make any sense. 

also, I don’t consider kits as packs. they are add-ons for people who want to expand some collections, but are not really essential to get (let alone the fact that some cc creators made some kits available as base game items). despite being a GC, I have purchased some of them with my own money and I regret some kits lmao. now, they are better quality content (for the price I mean) but at a time it was like.. yeah, I don’t want this but I still want all the DLCs. 

I live in France and here we have a powerful currency with the euros. But a lot of simmers tend to forget that many players are living with minimum wage or in a country where even 5$ USD means a lot on their salary/earnings. Now, imagine how players from “weaker currency�� (let them called like that bc I don’t want to be biased, or let people think that everyone is poor in some countries when its totally not the case) are dealing with 40$ USD EP coming back to back ??? I mean, in some countries, 40$ USD is a monthly salary or not far away. Which means, getting 3 EPs is out of pocket - literally. 

The Sims 4 is now a luxury to play - because of EA’s greed, for sure, but also bc some players are pushing this agenda of “we need more packs, now!” and bc there’s a high demand, they do not care if the product is exactly want people want. I’m not trying to blame anyone in particular. Tbh, I used to be this kind of player (mostly bc at the launch, the game feeled empty and like a let down compare to previous edition). But now, I fully understand that we are responsible for this never ending issue. As a Game Changers, I know that some people might not believe me, or think it’s not genuine but, clearly, I’m not paid by EA for doing anything. I just playtest most of the time in very short period. I have a great job, I also have some passive income. I don’t need to be influencer to earn money and its a blessing.   

don’t forget that we are all waiting for updates to fix For Rent. it will be mad to launch a new EP if the previous one is still broken for so many players. there’s a lot of things changing for the influencers also and this “slow” time could be used to discover new gameplay, new players, new cc for those who used them and explore all the things we missed in the packs we already have. i still discover new options to this day and I play quite a lot so, you know, we are going to chill together and it will be good. 

as for my suspicion, I really do think as simmers we shouldn’t be worried about upcoming contents. with new competitors launching their game in 2024, EA will be more cautious about the kind of content they release, and they might release more in a shorter time period. I BET we will be flooded with DLCs by the end of the year... 

Now, I really do hope that more Game Changers will be more vocal about the issues (its starting but with caution). we really have nothing to lose. Not bc TS4 is going to be fixed (it won’t, as the BG have so many structural/coding issue) but for Project Rene. We need collectively to point out all the things we do love about TS4 (bc it’s a really beautiful game with a lot of potential) and also the things we don’t like. Loving something or someone is always about honesty : if you friend smells bad, please, tell him. if your friends is in the wrong, tell him! So if you care that much about the Sims, please, tell politely whats is wrong with the game without harassing the creators/workers. 

someone should just open a public file with all the complains compile and give it to the Project Rene team bc we do not want to miss this one for sure.

with all my love always, 

Red

[endiness]

the impossible standards that adaptions are held to nowadays is so frustrating to me. like, lotr and hp are two of the most beloved and well-known film franchises for adaptions. (well, ymmv on hp now, obvs.) but did they completely and perfectly follow the source material? lmao no. no adaption ever does anyway. but people could look past that to appreciate them not only as adaptions but as films in their own right.

nowadays if something is not a shot-for-shot 1:1 remake, people will act like it's an abomination. and not only that but they will completely trash the creators and accuse them of not knowing the source material at all and just wanting to do their own thing. and nevermind that the adaption has the same storylines, plot points, beats, themes, and details. if all of that is not arranged in the exact same order as the source material was, well, then the adaption must not be following the source material at all and if it's not following the source material then that must mean the creators didn't understand it and not only that but they hated it121!!! 🙄

plus so many criticisms are unwilling to look at things in context of how media is made in general and the state of the entertainment industry nowadays. like, is the reason why an adaption is focusing more on tell than show and simplifying storylines and streamlining them because they hate the source material and never understood it and think the audience are idiots and they're bad writers? or could it possibly be that tv shows are getting fewer and fewer episodes per season so they have less time to go as in depth and explore things as they would probably like to — all of which is largely happening because executives are trying to prevent their writing staff from being able to progress in the field and thus be paid the higher wages they deserve? 🤔

like, it's wild that fandom is able to understand the broad concept of this — that the executives are the ones at fault for a lot of the bad creative decisions because they are the ones that ultimately have the final say and those people are largely uncreative in the first place, actively disdain and have contempt for creative people at worst, and all of their decisions are being made based solely off of profitability which includes trying to pay their creative teams less and less money — and is against it. but then when it comes to the reality of that situation and that shows are having to do more tell than show and streamline things because they simply do not have the time to go as in depth as the source material does (and nevermind that the source material for these things was made 10+ years ago WHEN THEY HAD THE TIME) suddenly it's only ever the creative team behind the adaption at fault and they're solely to blame because thEy DiDn'T UnDerStAnD tHe SoUrcE MaTeRiAL AnD HaTe iT.

the last point in particular drives me nuts because it's like, hey. you wanna know what it looks like when the creative teams behind an adaption genuinely don't care for the source material and didn't understand it at all? look at what d&d had to say about asoiaf. look at what anyone involved with a live action disney princess movie has to say about the original movies and their opinions on the princesses. when the creative forces behind a project DO NOT LIKE the source material they will OUTRIGHT say as much. meanwhile the adaptions i've seen being slammed the most have creative teams that are clearly, vocally passionate fans of the source material. but because omg it's not literally the source material — which no adaption ever is anyway, and all adaptions to at least some degree have their own original content — that therefore means they must hate it. like, give me a break.

(and this isn't even getting into how the adaptions i've seen get the most criticisms are ones that heavily feature women, poc, and lgbtqia people in the cast and crew. as if somehow that's a huge coincidence or something? or how even if the criticisms aren't being made by bigots, they are absolutely being manipulated and used by people who are but are unable to recognize that. case in point: the last time i checked, the first post to show up in the top posts on #the witcher tag is a misleading clickbait article to make the showrunner, a woman, look bad. that post absolutely exists for the sole purpose of inflaming and inciting the fandom against her, the show itself, and everyone else involved with the show — again, largely a cast and crew of women, poc, and lgbtqia people. and you can tell that's why the post exists not only because it was made by an alt-right account in the first place but because it's fucking tagged with #politics. literally why would the post be tagged with that unless it has an agenda. and yet, last i checked, ~20k people are completely mindless sheep liking and reblogging that post and regurgitating the lie in the post because they never bothered to check the source of the article and what it actually says let alone the blog for why exactly they might've made a post like that and they don't see how what was posted was a blatant, manipulative lie to serve a very obvious, nefarious purpose.)

[samcybercat]

Relationships Snippet Tag

Thank you for the tag, @vcaudley

How-to: Share a few lines or a snippet that sums up the the main relationship(s) in your WIP.

Tagging: @101flavoursofweird @pandirpus @krokonoko (as usual) I ended up going with an older WIP “Jan and Dan’s Dog”, because I really liked this segment where the narrator describes the relationship between the titular Jan, Dan and their dog:

I’m making assumptions here, but everyone has that one friend group composed of people who you went to school with when you were younger and, like, you’re all living different lives now, but maybe you keep up with each other on a WhatsApp group or something. Jan and Dan were in that friend group for me. They were richer than the rest of us and annoying about it in ways that they didn’t understand themselves. I must’ve heard every other person in that group complain about the two of them at least once, even the ones who otherwise weren’t that judgmental. It isn’t as if they were “bad” as such, just entitled and annoying. They’d hooked up young and since hooking up, all of their opinions and world-views stayed rigidly within the bubble that was Jan and Dan.

But more annoying than both of them was their dog, Ollie.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t have a problem with dogs. Wouldn’t have the energy to own one myself and full props to those who do, but I still like seeing a dog when I’m out walking. Who doesn’t?

Ollie though… there was something weird about him.

It was only a few years ago when Jan and Dan very vocally became “dog parents”. Soon, their Facebook profiles were filled with nothing but photos of them smiling with Ollie, this brown-and-white spaniel that they’d most-likely paid way too much money for. Even their Christmas cards were now custom-made to include Ollie, with a set of antlers attached to his head for probably the three seconds before he ripped them off.

I think the best way to describe Ollie is to say that he’s the only dog I’ve met who has no love behind his eyes. Not an ounce of affection for anyone at all. I might joke about not getting along with my parents’ yappy little terrier, but even she is filled with love, if only for my parents alone. But Ollie? Nothing. Especially not for Jan and Dan.

[k-rising]

Hı, my safe place!

Here to confessional!

I am doing my master's degree in the Netherlands. I had the chance to attend Blackpink's concert here. girl, the concert was literally expensive. I paid almost 200 euro for the ticket. I also paid for accommodation in Amsterdam, cause I do not live in the capital. It cost me more than 500 euros in total. We waited in line for hours. I've bought from their merch before too. I work part time here. I also can't get a lot of pocket money from my family due to the exchange rate difference. government scholarship is enough to meet our basic needs. so it was a little challenging for me. but i was hoping that I will have fun. I love Blackpink. I've been following them for about 3 years. I was excited, so not complaining. But then, the concert was a disappointment for me. I want to speak honestly. vocals-stage presence were not good. Except for Lisa, the other members were making mistakes in the dances. Idk maybe you've probably seen the reactions on social media. especially jennie, it was like she was on stage because she had to be there. performances were not as exciting as I expected. There was a lot of autotune and playback support. When I wanted to accompany the songs, I felt a little embarrassed after a while because there weren't many people who did this, and I kept silent and continued swinging my light stick cause I thought I was being noisy and annoying. Most of watched the stages like an opera concert. jisoo's stage was actually nice but not very entertaining. I just watched with a stupid grin on my face. but I loved the vibe she gave. Jennie's was boring tbh. It was like watching a ballet show. After that, rosé's stage.. My bias is Rosé. I was planning to go crazy. As I watched it before, I was extremely hopeful that she will sing live. but i was shocked. Although she had been singing for years, she was not that stable and strong. Of course, the best vocal performance was hers. but if you compare it to western artists, you would think it is very amateur. She sang the song even without a smile on her face and didn't even give a little witty(?) flirty attitude. then she said otg. it was the same way. Even she himself seemed bored. She was sulking. Then Lisa came on stage. we had fun. pole dance was very good of course. she is amazing at dancing no doubt. but that was just it. She used the microphone for, like a minute during an entire performance. I felt like I was watching the stage of a tiktok influencer in a nightclub or something. entire concert was pretty much like that. No one is talking about the facts. concerts were not fun. You would have had the same experience if you had watched it in the cinema. I felt like I was watching their "the movie". There was no real communication with fans. there was no interesting, original reaction or connection. I feel asleep towards the end of the concert. There were also those who had already begun to leave the area. When it finished, I was yawning and then went to my hotel. I was not satisfied at all. This led me to think :'). I was like, why am I paying so much money for what? It still continues like that as far as I can follow. this is so embarrassing. You pay that much money, you wait for hours and you leave the concert with pure disappointment. seriously pr is incredibly effective. none of them are worth support as a singer name. they are just an influencer. It has nothing to do with being an artist. sad.

hello, darling!

i'm so sad to hear that... and it's understandable that you're angry and sad about the experience, more than anything because you spent a lot of money on the hotel and stuff

i've never seen blackpink in concert so i can't give my opinion about it, but thank you for sharing your opinion with me! i'm glad to hear that i'm your safe space haha <3

[ericleo108]

03/10/2023 Click here for Spotify or Apple Music. This is my 34th official release. “I Got You” is a song that is more personal and about my career as an artist. This song is basically a letter to my fans talking about the struggle and asking for their support. You can really help by buying a track but all my music is free on YouTube and all I’m really asking is that you share my music. You can make all the difference by recommending my music, putting it on a playlist, or requesting it to be played.

Like I said in the “Blow Me Up” post, I spend my money on production and don’t have the funds to promote so I’m really depending on you to share my music. Even if I did promote, the whole goal is for word of mouth to take over. This was also a song of righteous indignation considering my perseverance in releasing consistently for going on 3 years. 

The track is just blatantly honest about my economic situation. Basically, I  can’t live without you, the fan. I spend all my money on music to the point I have to pick between promotion and clothes or more production or supplements. I talk about the American economy, especially healthcare and how it has affected my life. I would have a full-time job if America had universal healthcare or if I lived in another country. The truth is I can’t afford to have a life because I spend all my money on music while I can’t work for it because I’m limited on earned income and my labor power is exploited because big pharma has the biggest lobby in Congress and lobbies for privatized healthcare. Healthcare should be a not-for-profit industry like it was before Nixon. These are the reasons I’m always on Twitter talking about how America is a POS and should go screw itself. It also has to do with inequality which is pretty well encapsulated by this rigged economy tweet.

I don’t usually sing because I don’t know how, but my producer makes me sound good. I really hope the listeners and my fans understand my plea, embrace my vulnerability, feel my message, Vibe with it, and share my tracks.

The vocals were self-recorded. The track was mixed and mastered by Sam Peters at La Luna recording studio in Kalamazoo Michigan. The beat is by ThatKidGoran. I wrote this on December 5th 2022 in about 30 to 60 minutes. This is one of those tracks I felt like I had to make about my life and Career while poverty-stricken and before any real exposure or opportunity. This is basically the song I made asking my fans for help after putting in years of work with no real reward, recognition, or attention.

You can stream or download the track wherever music is sold. Thank you for your support. Be sure to follow because new music is released every week!

You can see me talk about this blog post and next weeks release in this early Sunday Update

Lyrics:

I love ya, I need ya I can’t live I love ya, I need ya I can’t live, without you I love ya, I need ya I can’t live I love ya, I need ya I can’t live, without you

This a track for the fans to help them understand What this like for me, and how they can help Look I left it in my raps, the stories and the path The book goes into depth, but I’ll tell you what I lack  Support for the tracks Like playlist ads You didn’t even share it with your dad Or your driver in a cab How am I supposed to make it When I can’t afford the craft With the obstacles I’m faced with I’ll tell you how I get the bag Purchase my tracks And I’ll reinvest the money What I currently make is $20 monthly They say America’s great But I don’t see it All these people get paid For less than I’ve done in a season Hard not to be bitter Like how are they so much better than me How did they get lucky And I’m still struggling I thank the fans for their support But I’m really rather poor So If you wanna help me win Please go and share this with a friend And say

I got you, I got you, I got you, just don’t quit Keep rollin, keep rolling, keep rolling, we got this We’re doing alright, we’re feeling okay As long as I got you we’re doing great I got you, I got you, I got you.

I’m on that slow grind, to grow mine And end up with a gold mine. But that all that depends on you To make it shine on through I’m never gonna make it Unless you help with a payment I’m poor and afflicted With monetary restrictions so Every dollar I spend is an economic decision Between promotion and production Clothes or some supplements It must be nice, to have the money to buy  Your necessities and still have money to thrive Bankrupting America Is how healthcare’s designed And it affects every part of my life The government exploits labor power cuz their controlled by the rise Of big business and lobbying To exploit the price Of money in politics that creates a divide Between left and right, when classism really the fight So I teach them all pragmatically To reach for truth and practically Know what I’ve been rapping please So my fans can rap this back to me like

I got you, I got you, I got you, just don’t quit Keep rollin, keep rolling, keep rolling, we got this We’re doing alright, we’re feeling okay As long as I got you we’re doing great Cuz I got you, I got you, I got you.

And I’ll be there for you When you need someone to see you through You can count on me To bring you back up to speed Help make you see What you have to be Just ask yourself and agree To love yourself and seek Purpose in adversity  and happiness in the journey You listenin now, you’re my boss All this music has a cost And if you don’t support it I’m at a loss So let me ask you what I’m doing wrong Frankly I don’t have the money to open shop yet So let me ask, why don’t I got it  You could make all the difference By just tuning in and listen’n in Put my song on playlist All I wanna hear US say is

I got you, I got you, I got you, just don’t quit Keep rollin, keep rolling, keep rolling, we got this We’re doing alright, we’re feeling okay As long as I got you we’re doing great Cuz I got you, I got you, I got you.

[pain-is-too-tired]

Okay-

1- completely didn't remember that he was more vocally aware of what it would really be like for humanity and other demigods if Kronos won. Like I always written him to have ignore the fact that Kronos and the Titans didn't really care about demigods. But to actually bring it up as the fact "of only those who the strongest and serve him-" MY DUDE. WTF.

2- Proving himself and hubris i think are very big contenders for his fatal flaws. Because he wants to prove he can do all of this, he wants to be remembered in the way the classical heroes were. By doing something knew to be remembered for. His prideful enough to until it's too late to think that Kronos would really give him any room in his new era after he destroys the gods. The gods suck, but Luke where you think they got it from? Titans see demigods much more like pests or entertainment than the gods do. But he ignores all that to get to his goal. Even demigods around him are constantly getting killed or worst for it. Which-

3. Another thing, he's at least complicit in buying demigods for the army. We don't know if the situation in TCC where the Di Angelo's nearly get kidnapped and taken to the army were include Mr Thorn getting paid after, but we do know that the ranch guy in BotL was ready to give Nico in exchange for money. So.

That means that a few, if not a lot of the Titan Army, might've been kids who never even went to either camps. Who found themselves finding out about the gods and such from the Titan Army. From Luke's army.

Can you imagine? Suddenly being told you're a demigod, and then immediately being pressured or maybe even threatened to fight against the gods. You don't even get a chance for maybe find out who your godly parent is. You lived your life thinking a normal mortal abandoned you and your mortal parent. Then it's like "nope! It's actually a immortal god with likely many other children like you! Okay here a sword and armor, let's go kill other kids who might be your half siblings! Yeah!"

Just. Wtf.

4. Luke, to me, is interesting because he's an example of falling into the generational cycle. He was angry at Hermes for a lot. But as he got older, and as he wanted to prove he was better than Hermes and other heroes, he lost his touch with his humanity.

His mom was driven insane and left on her own, he was scarred after being sent on a fetch quest.

Then he send multiple demigods on a fetch quest for the string, most of which are driven insane and left for dead.

He was fine with asking for someone else to lead when he knew he'd be used as Kronos' vessel. But he never thinks to send non demigods into the labyrinth instead to find a way through? Even though he knows their chance of survival is low.

He honestly it's such an interesting antagonist, who took his trauma and internalized his anger to the point he didn't really care who got hurt as long as he got to prove himself that he could take his dad down a notch.

His redemption was hardly a redemption. There wasn't any proper build up. No evidence of him questioning his decision outside for his own sake. His death just seems like a pathetic attempt to back track and try be remembered in a better light then just Kronos' vessel.

I think it he stayed an antagonist, it would've been much more interesting. Like him pretending to change his mind to get to Annabeth and Percy or something. Or being a lesson that just because someone claims to regret their actions and want to do better, doesn't mean you have to forgive them. Annabeth and Percy have every reason not to forgive him. And I think then acknowledging that would've so interesting.

Its kinda what I explore when I write Chris. That feeling of "i used to love and trust him. He was my brother but I lost so much of myself due to him and I'll never fully forgive that."

And, maybe it's cause I'm sucker for sibling angst, but exploring those he left behind would've been interesting. He hurt so many people and I think it does a deservice to them and his character to ignore everything he's done.

The Luke Castellan problem in PJO books and Fandom

I just finished rereading the pjo series for the dozenth time and I have so many thoughts about Luke and how the fandom woobified him.

Like no Luke did not have the right idea and executed it in the wrong way. He wasn't a misguided victim, although there is no doubt Kronos manipulated him. But him being manipulated does not absolve him of his wrongdoings. Hurt people can still hurt people, you can be abused and still become an abuser.

Most of Fandom's idea of Luke being a 'hero' because he did the right thing in the end is extremely doozy like ok he killed himself to stop Kronos but that does not absolve him the blame of killing innocent people.

While Luke's main goal was the destruction of Gods, that was not because he wanted the demigods to have better lives. He actively killed demigods.

In the Sea of Monsters, when Percy, Annabeth and Tyson snuck into Princess Andromeda; they saw 12 year olds being trained how to kill a 'dummy in camp half blood tshirts'. He was actively exploiting children and manipulating them into killing other children and saw nothing wrong with it.

He only considered deflecting from Kronos when he found out that he was going to be possessed by him.

He only worked and cared for him, he was so lost into power and revenge that HE became a monster.

"Oh but he cared for Thalia and Annabeth!!" I'll get into that later too

I think Luke's fatal flaw contrary to the opinion of fandom is The Urge to Prove Himself.

He had one conversation with Hermes which made him angry and bitter and Thalia even notes that after that conversation Luke got into more and more fights with monsters like he had something to prove which Annabeth didnt seem to see as a problem since he was her hero. They got into more skirmishes because of his recklessness, fighting more monsters since Luke wanted to pick a fight with each one he came across.

(Conversation from PJO, The Last Olympian)

His fatal flaw being to Prove Himself would explain why he took the failure of his quest so hard that the night he returned from the quest was the same night Kronos started speaking to him for the first time. It didn't help that when he returned from his failed quest, the campers treated him with pity.

He wanted to pull Olympus down stone by stone because He failed his quest that he didn't want to do because it was already done by Hercules once. 🥴

His endgame has nothing to do with wanting to help ANYBODY. He wanted to take down gods because he had a grudge against them and wanted to Prove that he could do it. Everything else comes secondary if it fits his agenda.

This is one of the reasons why it bothers me so much when people say that Luke had the right idea or that Percy would have joined Kronos if Sally had died like you fundamentally misunderstood the character of Percy if you think he would have joined Kronos.

He talks about "driving humanity back into caves, all except the strongest - who would serve him" THIS IS LITERALLY FASCISM???

(According to Merriam-Webster, Fascism is a political philosophy, movement, or regime that exalts nation and often race above the individual and that stands for a centralized autocratic government headed by a dictatorial leader, severe economic and social regimentation, and forcible suppression)

Now onto the topic of Thalia, Annabeth and Luke

First of all, I absolutely hate that 'Thalia and Luke had a thing before she got turned into a tree bit' because Thalia was 12 and Luke was 14 when they met and Thalia was 15 and Luke was 20-21ish when they meet again in TTC ugh hate that.

Now TTC, where to begin, here I used to believe Luke had already bathed in river Styx as there are some narrations where Percy notes that Luke looked worse and like his scar was reopened and would certainly explain how he survived the cliff fall but on my rereading I realised that Thalia and Luke fought when Percy was holding the sky and Thalia injured Luke so nvm then.

It is however in this book that Luke began to realise Kronos's plan for him as it is implied by the General and he starts to fear for his life.

Mind you, what did Luke think would happen if Thalia did agree to join Kronos when he knew Kronos was looking for a host of body...

Luke is many things, he is cunning, manipulative, a great swordsman but what he is not is stupid. If Thalia would have agreed then Kronos would have used Thalia as a vessel 😬

And oh boy the can of worms that is Luke and Annabeth. I've seen many Luke fans/apologists deny that there is no canon evidence of Luke being romantically interested in Annabeth BUT THERE IS?? they refuse to believe and call Annabeth an unreliable narrator because otherwise their uwu white boy would be a Pedophile. Even if he wasn't a Pedo, he manipulated Annabeth so many times to make her sympathise with her and use her emotions against her.

(excerpts from various books: TLO, TLO, BoTL, MoA annabeth's pov)

^ Annabeth was 15 almost 16 or already 16 I believe when Luke asked her to run away with him in a romantic sense and he was 21-22.

also another evidence adding to the theory of his fatal flaw having proving himself.

Now, onto the topic of CHB and Luke:

Luke being hesitant to attack camp half blood in BotL has less to do with him suddenly growing a spine (as some fans suggest) and more to do with the inevitable possession.

When Kronos informs that he will himself lead the attack, Luke advises to use Hyperion instead because he knows for Kronos to attack it in person, he would finally possess Luke.

(first one is from TTC, the other two from BoTL)

One of the last things I wanna talk about is Silena Beauregard & Luke and Luke's portrayal in the new Percy Jackson series:

Luke was 17 when Kronos started speaking to him and 19 when he left the camp. Silena was 17-18 when she died which makes her 13-14 when Luke left the camp in TLT and 11-12 when Kronos first started talking to him. Adult Luke charmed an underage girl, and promised her that she was helping the demigods and then when she tried to stop, he started blackmailing her. [excerpts from TLO]

According to the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children UK, Grooming is when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can manipulate, exploit and abuse them. The relationship a groomer builds can take different forms. This could be: a romantic relationship, as a mentor, an authority figure, a dominant and persistent figure. They might use blackmail to make a child feel guilt and shame or introduce the idea of 'secrets' to control, frighten and intimidate.

So canonically, Book!Luke is a fascist groomer pedophile.

Now on the new Disney+ Percy Jackson show, it seems that Rick Riordan is subtly rewriting the character of Luke and removing the more problematic aspect of him (pedophile and grooming). Let me explain why I think that:

Even though in TLT the book, Luke describes Annabeth as his little sister we know how well that lasted but I don't think they are keeping Annabeth's crush on him on the show from what I've seen (though I could be wrong).

Secondly, the casting of Dior Goodjohn as Clarisse puts Clarisse on the same age range as Luke, maybe a year or two younger but in the first book Clarisse was 13-14 and she was 17 in TLO, so they have aged her up. It is my assumption that they will also age Silena by casting a 17-19 yr old actress as her.

And they have made Luke far more sympathetic in the show than the books (him not calling a hellhound during capture the flag and no pit scorpions in the finale), but we wouldn't know how sympathetic or villainous they are making him until season 2 comes out. Charlie Bushnell gives an excellent performance imo

Though this again reflects the double standards it comes to PJO, they have given much grace and praise for the changes made to Luke's character and little to no complaint for ageing up Clarisse but the hate Walker and especially Leah are given is so cruel. Leah has been so much racially targeted though I think she's an excellent Annabeth, just something to think about.

Also, before I forget-

We don't give enough flack to Rick Riordan for writing two weird age dynamics without recognising as grooming and pedophilic nature. (Lukabeth and Caleo/Capercy)

The characters are never made to realise (especially Annabeth) that an older person having feelings for them as a minor is not a normal behaviour.

Especially in regards to Calypso who may take the form of a 15 year old but is actually more than 4612 (according to the riordan wiki) and her having a crush on 14 year old Percy and 15-16 yr old Leo Valdez, not to mention how rudely she treated Leo. Also her cursing Annabeth because Percy left her. Not only is it plain nasty but she's never called out. Its actually so disgusting🤕.

Anyways this turned into a long rant but I would love to read your opinions, especially on Luke's fatal flaw.

I know for some people it may seem like I'm too hard on him but this is just my opinion.

IMO I have no problem if you like a morally bad or gray person, an antihero or a villain as long as their bad deeds aren't swept under the rug and pretend they never happened or glorify their good deeds.

I actually think villian's bad things make them more interesting.

Luke is an antagonist and a villain of the PJO series and a part of being a villain is that some people are going to hate you and that's ok.

Me personally, I was never a fan of his and that's ok.

I know some people are going to bring up the fact that Percy in MoA sympathises but the PJO characters are complicated and Luke was very skilled at making others think of his reason to destroy the Gods the way they would sympathise the most and we see that multiple times.

[matt0044]

The Vicious Cycle of the Animation Industry

Look, I’m not too confident in myself to cover all the crap going down with HBOMax or the WB Discovery debacle outside of regurgitating what people better versed in the industry than me have covered. A glance at Twitter will speak volumes alone.

What I do intend to discuss is the common theme of animation always getting the shaft either because it’s too costly compared to whatever live action show they pump out (because VFX may as well be paid in pennies by this point) or because they’re deemed acceptable losses by the wider public.

Much as animation over all has garnered a sizable and vocal following, too many executives are high up to care about how a series is very beloved or hated. What they care is how much its raking it for them and what they should be pushing above all else.

Thus Teen Titans Go can be the most loathe show by animation and DC geeks alike but still chug along if the right amount of kids throw money at it (with their parent’s permission). Whereas a show that has thought put into its story, characters and artstyle will be meddled with to fit the mold of TTG or be cast aside if it doesn’t do gangbusters.

Of course, biased marketing departments don’t help. There’s no telling how well a more ambitious cartoon might’ve done if it had been given half the attention other shows settling for the cheap laughs had. Commercials, billboard, even friggin, YouTube ads (for all their infuriating nature) can make or break a show’s success. Yet some seem to get by in spite of the network being ambivalent towards the title.

You can’t even claim that the internet is hard to work with when Social Media managers exist for a reason. If every cartoon got its fair shake at potential success but failed due to a considerable lack of interest on the audience’s part, maybe a cancellation wouldn’t feel as gutting. It’d still hurt but in a, “Dem’s the brakes, kiddo,” sort of way.

As is, The Legend of Korra practically had Nick’s marketing in a tizzy compared to Spongebob when they could’ve tried... something. Where was all that energy they put into greenlighting three seasons at once before Book 2? Why move it to their website and not a service like Netflix where serialized stories (at the time) were thriving?

Of course, it’s hard to deny how the perception of animation from adults overall are very likely shared with the producers who oversee these cartoons. Despite the medium being profitable to not let go of full stop, too much animation with no so insignificant follows get the axe likely because the mainstream perception of animation being a lesser media seeps into the inmates running the asylum.

1.Many adults see cartoons and animation overall as for kids.

2. The public overall internalizes this idea of it being a lesser medium despite some productions crunching their staff big time.

3. Those of the public go on to work for companies like WB and/or Disney where they may help oversee animation production.

4. The aforementioned attitudes lead to animation being seen as expendable in lew of any money problems (often of their own doings).

I mean... you know it’s bad when Disney granted The Owl House something when it came to shortening Season 3 when it could’ve just had King’s Tide be the end of it. Not to give too much credit but I’d take a shorter season for a show getting the boot to end. At the very least they can have the creators and their team make their cases why they shouldn’t just be written off.

So... what now? It’s easy to say “support indie creators” when forgetting how there can be a lot of uncertainty in a lot of unknown media. It’s not just corporations feeding into the “nothing’s original” phenomenon suffice to say. What I can say is that a “NewDeal4Animation” trends for a reason.

Those working in this industry need to unionize and make it clear as goddamn crystal that they are not okay with how things are as of now. If they’re employed to work on a project for a company, they need to be valued and not be neglected or abused. And we fans can help by stepping up whether or not this might be trending.

This is a worker’s rights issue by any other name and needs solving ASA-Now!

[stagemanagerssaygo]

Heaven and Hell: or my experience being a person of color in Disney’s Hyperion Theater

by Cooper Howell

Heaven and Hell: or my experience being a person of color in Disney's Hyperion Theater. #holdingtheateraccountable Im just gonna go ahead and be straight up. This is pretty scary to share. HEAVEN: Once upon a time Liesl Tommy cast me as Prince Hans in Frozen: Live at the Hyperion. And I was gooped. GOOPED. There was nothing in my prior history that gave any indication this was possible. Up until then every role I played had to do with my race. Every. Single. One. And even ones where it didn’t (Shakespeare or classical pieces mostly) I was always made aware that the novelty of me being a poc in that role that gave me the part. So much did I not expect to get this part that when I got the callback I rolled my eyes and didn’t take the actual callback seriously. I mean, there was a zero percent chance that Disney would ever let me play a Prince, especially when the dude in the movie is a ginger. But then I got it. And immediately everything I thought was possible about my career changed. My whole life I’ve never inwardly felt black. I’ve never inwardly felt white. I’ve always felt like I was Cooper, you know, on the inside. But whether it was every single white human in Utah reminding me that I was “the whitest person they ever knew/saw” (which DIDNT mean how white my skin was. It was how white I ACTED) or Mr. Johnson, my 7th grade drama teacher, telling me that he “wanted to put Velcro on the ceiling to see if I’d stick” or Mr. Smith, my high school drama teacher, saying “finally we can do black shows” as soon as I entered high school and then not casting me in roles because of the "optics" of it, or even my best friend in high school Tanner Harmon who called me "blackie", I was always reminded that I was an other. So imagine getting paid good money to put on that $10,000 costume and waltzing out to 4000 people a day to play a really amazing part. A fantastic, evil, complicated, person who sings a killer duet and then grabs the show by the throat with a vicious about-face monologue... and not once was my race ever mentioned cuz it didnt matter. What was being prized was Cooper, my talent, not my skin color that I never asked for. Heaven. Liesl MADE SURE, almost overly sure, that the poc’s in the cast felt equal. The kingdom of Arendelle, after all, is a make believe place. It can be whatever. From having Disney executives come and tell us that they were happy to have us there, to side conversations with John Lasseter, we were made to feel overly welcome playing the parts we were playing. She encouraged us to dive deeper into the script of a cartoon that I didnt really think much of until I was in it. We were encouraged to ask why. We felt seen as talent and not commodities. There were, of course, detractors. Gosh, I remember people at a party of cast members from "Mickey and the Magical Map" another show at Disneyland which features a princess and the frog number and many of those casts mates angrily claiming that “if that black girl Tiana Okoye can play Elsa than I should be able to play Princess Tiana” and then looking at me to confirm that was okay to say, not realizing that a) she’s one of my best friends, b) that I’m in the show with her also playing a role that wasn't created to be a poc, c) how racist that sounded, and d) why there's a difference there and why that wouldn't make sense. On Liesls final night I came up to her and said “I don’t know why you did it but thank you so much for casting ME in this part” to which she replied “you mean why would I cast a handsome, talented person in this role?” And I stuttered something like “well, I mean, I’m black. You know...” to which she tilted her head to her side and said “no. I don’t know why. Tell me why that matters.” And I had no answer. Seeing that I had no answer she smiled. That was the answer. There was no reason. On the spot my outlook about myself changed. Windows into what I thought was possible for me opened. -------------------------------------- HELL: And then Liesl went back to NYC and she was replaced by a man named Roger Castellano as show director. Rogers task, he told us on the first day, was to "change the show". We were not told what needed to be changed or even why, but that changes were on the horizon. You've got to understand: to a full cast of actors who had just spent more than three months dissecting a 60 page Disney script with a Tony nominated director like it was Shakespeare, we were initially emotionally/mentally/spiritually resistant to changes. But then it became clear that the spirit of collaboration was over, and the show changes were to be given without the same care, consideration, and thematic explanation of why they were being made. Everyones initial reaction was to push back, but when people who questioned their notes or their changes started getting days removed their schedule or being replaced entirely by a new actor, the Hyperion theater became a place where no one was allowed to speak out. Injustices were happening left and right and no one felt they could do anything for fear of losing their livelihood. And that's when the Frozen: Live at the Hyperion became a living hell. In my first note session with Roger he pulled me into a room with Domonique Paton, my best friend and incredible costar who played princess Anna in the show I was in. She just so happens to also be black. Almost all of Prince Hans’s scenes in the show are with her character and so most of my notes would be primarily based on those interactions with her. Earlier in the day I performed with a different (white) actress but it was the show with Domonique that I had a note session about. Imagine my surprise and dismay when, with how Liesl set up the show experience, we were told this: “WHEN THE TWO OF YOU PERFORM THE SHOW TOGETHER ITS TOO… URBAN.” Urban. What else could that have meant, do you think? He could have said maybe “too contemporary” emphasizing that we were maybe too modern in our speech patterns or movements. We weren’t. He could have said “too lax” or “too loose” meaning that maybe we were being unprofessional and goofy up there because we’re really good friends. We were not. The best me and Ms. Paton could think of was a 8 count moment of improv dance that me and Domonique decided to use as a synchronized moment of unity. It happened to fall on the line “our mental synchronization can have but one explanation” and thought, with the freedom that Christopher (the original choreographer) had given us, was appropriate, especially considering everyone behind us was doing the robot. As in the 80s robot. But he didnt clarify. He just said “WHEN THE TWO OF YOU PERFORM THE SHOW TOGETHER IT’S TOO… URBAN” And when asked what he meant he smiled with a little shrug and said "you can figure that out. You're smart." And thats how I became Black Hans and Domonique became Black Anna. My every moment onstage afterwards became about the optics of being a poc in that show. It was if I was suddenly made aware that I was LUCKY enough to be there and under any normal circumstances, or this new directors circumstances, me getting this part would have never happened. But the message was clear. It was especially clear when me and Domonique Paton shows together durastically decreased and made even more clear when the vast majority of the new hires were not people of color. But no one said anything. And made even MORE clear when, over the next few weeks, both Domonique and I got COPIOUS notes, ten times that of our coworkers that played the same parts. It was almost a game. In fact we did turn it into a game, seeing who would get the least amount of notes from him in a day. Our costars would even joke about it onstage with us, during the ballroom scene, and jokingly whisper "The shows been up 15 minutes. How many do you think you got today?" But no one said anything. And the notes were about all kinds of things. How we held our hand. If our inflections went up or down on a word. Which side of a couch we leaned on… which was fine! When you're an actor, thats the gig... until we started comparing our notes with the actors that played our same parts and none of them, NONE, would get the same notes. Our notes would be outrageously longer, the note sessions sometimes lasting 10/15 minutes. Others would get the “Oh hey, try doing this or that next time, okay bye” walk-by notes. Sometimes I would sneak into the audience and watch as some of the other Han's, some of whom changed lines, changed entire intentions of scenes, some of whom adding in all types of vocalizations and cackles and dance moves and what have you, and would receive ZERO notes. But I was watching them to see what was wrong with me. What was my performance missing? What am I actually doing to feel this singled out. And then I realized that the thing that was wrong with me was that I was a different color than the 5 other white Hans's they cast. And then I started getting notes about my penis. Most of the time these “penis sessions”, as I called them, were given in private rooms without another stage manager present. It was incredibly unpleasant and unprofessional. In fairness, those Prince Hans pants are TIGHT! And yes, Mr. Howell is indeed a party in the front and a party in the back, but so were a lot of those fellas. And thats where I put my foot down. If Disney was going to provide me with a costume it is not my responsibility to fix their problem, especially when other of my (white) costars had been given a dance belt for the same thing. But they never got penis notes. Private session notes about what their penis looked like in that show. Over and over again I was told to fix it, to not make it (my dick) so apparent, and that “if my daughter were younger I wouldn’t want her to come to a show you were performing at" all the more insulting considering his daughter, a cast member in the show, was a friend of mine and the loveliest person. He started demanding that I buy a dance belt. It was “my fault”, “my responsibility” …and thats where I took my stand. And then it really became hell. Penis sessions were now done out in the open. Once, he screamed at me, in the green room in front of all of my costars during lunch, about how incredible unprofessional I was, about how he was tired of seeing my dick, and that if I didnt go buy myself one I didnt deserve to be there anymore. Followed by a huge litany of notes. That doesnt compare to some of what Domonique went through and I invite her to share them if she’s willing. During this time I went to every stage manager in the building and told them about being singling out and about my penis. They all told me to write a complaint report and it would go to some place called "HR". Which I did. Numerously. More months passed. Nothing from "HR". Multiple cast members who witnessed my note sessions encouraged me to go to the HR themselves. I didnt honestly know what an HR was. As soon as it was explained to me by my allies even what an HR was I went to the head of HR at Disneyland herself and waited outside of her door. I asked her if she got any of my HR reports and she told me that she had received no HR reports from the Hyperion. Ever. And then asked me to fill out a HR form. As we went over it, she asked me some questions, and then set up a second meeting. On the second meeting she said that in order for my report to be given credence I would need witnesses to give their testimony. The witnesses, in fact the very people that told me to go to HR in the first place, said no. They didnt want to lose their jobs. In retrospect that might be the thing that hurt the most but, whatever... anyway, I was told "“well… without testimonies we’ll do an investigation and we’ll call you when we’ve completed it.” I never received a phone call. With absolutely zero protection from the stage managers from both the sexual harassment or my obvious racial targeting I (and others) were experiencing, not to mention that HR reports were doing nothing, aka not being forwarded, I thought about quitting. And when a white stage manager made a show mistake and laughed it off to the cast by saying an entirely offensive lynching joke, I quit. I didnt matter to Disney. How I felt and what I was being put through didnt matter. I was a commodity. My departure was unceremonious. Bizarre. 100% un-magical. I hung up my costume one last time and it was given to a new Hans, one who looked very much like me oddly, and stepped out of the theater. The park was playing “every wish your heart desires will come to you” and I remember laughing at how dead that song felt. The director has since moved on but still works as a musical theater director in Southern California. This one time 4 years ago I got to feel something other than my color for the first and only time in my professional career. It lasted from about March 2016 to July 2016 and never again since. I will never forget in those early days looking at all the beautiful princesses I got to woo and thinking “wow. I’m a prince right now.” Im sure that sounds stupid. But it didn't feel stupid. And a Disney prince! Yeah, a shitty prince kinda... I mean, he's a sociopath... BUT still a Prince! Especially special was being able to look in Dominique’s eyes and I could see the same glimmer of “can you believe we get to do this right now” reflected back. We never knew it was in the cards for us. My race always has and will always be part of my career equation and a determining factor of its projection. It will always be a determining factor in how im treated, by creatives, by people, by the those in authority over me, including the government and the police. #wasitmyskin

Copied in its entirety here from Cooper Howell’s public Facebook post: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10163696376095054&set=a.10151302685610054&type=3&theater

[i-need-air]

Hybrid!AU Wolf!Bakugou Katsuki HCs.

Summary: How would Hybrid!Bakugou would react to being adopted by the reader and their domestic life together. Headcanons and believe me, it's a long one... [2k WORDS OF HCS psjxksdj stop me pls] PLATONIC/ROOMMATES HCS, will do a part two later on with continuation and romance cuz 2kwordsbro...

Notes: I love Hybrid AU!s and I want to indulge myself with this. I barely see these in the fandom, so maybe you guys will like it! Also, depending on how it goes, I'm gonna consider making more for other characters, whachu say? Tell me what you thought and I hope you enjoy!~ ♥

Part 2 here!

× he's a wolf hybrid, and the workers at the shelter warn you that he's feral as you pass by where he was locked

× it seems he was in an illegal fighting ring and nobody could get close to him even if his living conditions now were much better than the hell hole he lived in before

× he growled, scratched, yelled, overall he needed so much help

× normally that would've been very intimidating to you but while the workers tried to push you towards some bunny or dog hybrids they had around, you just froze because the mf said they were considering sacrificing him

× like wHat the fuck?? he's a human being?????? sure he has a tail but what????????

× and you just foken went crazy for a moment cuz you didn't even see him in his cage, he was hiding somewhere under the bundle of blankets he had, probably asleep

× so you just went mental, demanding an explanation because hybrid shelters do not and should not sacrifice a person

× and your increasing yelling just made all the hybrids anxious

× and Bakugou heard everything [who wouldn't]

× i shit you not, the employee tried to explain why

× legit said cuz he's aggressive

× Bitch I'd be aggressive too! I'd bite your jugular off

× course, security was called but you already prepared to call the police, Hybrid Protection Services, your lawyer, your friends, the president, you name it

× and that's when you said you're adopting whoever was under the blankets. NOW.

× always hated the word adopting, but you were looking to give a hybrid a chance since you finally had a spare bedroom in your new apartment

× so like security and the worker just look at each other cuz who tf is gonna be the brave soul to go inside the cage to retrieve Bakugou Katsuki and get rid of you both already

× you're just staring at them like u srs bro? so you just send them to do the paperwork while you decide to go in yourself because you needed to get out of that place ASAP to still contact HPS on this shelter

× security stayed by the door while you hesitantly walked towards the blanket bundle [not so brave anymore] cuz why did that dude have his gun out??????

× but when you approached the bundle and kneeled in front of it you noticed movement

× a fluffy sand yellow tail suddenly came to view and it was big, slowly moving from side to side

× so with the gentlest voice you could muster [after screaming your lungs out moments ago] you tried to talk to whoever was underneath

× you introduced yourself and said you're here to take them home but got nothing, just casual tail movement

× Big Hunkus Brutus Security Guardus™ was getting impatient so he told you to just "fuckin put the collar and leash on the stupid beast" and you just 🙃 fucking excuse u?? while turning towards him

× it was a delicate time and you needed to take it slow, and anyway you knew you'd get that crap off your [hopefully] new friend as soon as possible

× what you didn't expect was the guard to freeze and raise his gun again, but was pointing above your head, not even looking in your eyes

× so you turn and meet a naked chest, scarred, with recent bruising on and big

× looking up you see Bakugou Katsuki, ruffled blonde hair, wild in all directions, red eyes harsh and staring at the guy behind you, only some pants on his form and tail still waving very slowly behind him

× while Chunkus Brutus trembled in place, gun shaking in hands, you were in the fuckin middle of it all

× what you didn't expect is the hybrid to take the collar in your hands and wrap it around his neck, now looking at you, expression still harsh but this time it didn't scream murder [and then grabbed a shirt, thank the heavens]

× progress? making friends? good first impressions?

× na lol you wish but that's spoilers 👀

× the process of adoption went smoothly, and when I say smoothly I mean Robustus Dumbus Brutus behind both of you with his hand still on his gun while all the workers gathered around to see the crazy insane person that adopted The Devil™, the guy that told you about the sacrificing was actually filing the paperwork as fast as possible under the intense gaze of the wolf

× and Bakugou was standing very close to you, btw, like i can feel your body heat close

× he was compliant at first, when you got in the car you started rambling about your house and how he has a room while trying to take the collar off him but he grabbed your hands

× like insanely fast, one blink and firm grip on your hands

× "i ain't gon be your fuckin pet, understood?" he growled at you but made no movement to bolt and run away

× and you just wanted to roll your eyes cuz ok he can kill you anytime but like didn't he get the message when you screamed back there? [also there was this sense of security you had around him or maybe you were just really dumb]

× so when you said you weren't looking for a pet but to help someone and maybe a friend and roommate, he just narrowed his eyes at you

× suspish human, wild doggo no trust

× anywho he took the collar off himself [like extra fast] but you explained that you are going to get him a bracelet or something less degrading since he still needed something with the information tag to have on himself so police will know he's no stray and he wouldn't end in the same craphole again

× journey home was silent, like eery silent

× he just looked out the window intensely, you noticed how he focused on every sign and turn

× you considered asking him questions but honestly with his past you doubted he would even answer so you just started to ramble about your home, stuff you could do around the city [which caught his attention], items you'd have to go buy for him, like clothes, shampoo, any special food, the bracelet

× he stopped looking out the window and just looked at you

× ok he was intensely staring at your side, basically drilling a hole in your cheek with those crimson eyes and it was making you N e r v o u s because making new friends is hard when you're just vomiting monologs, all while driving

× buying things was awkward to say at least, special hybrid stores were rare and for a guy his size it was even more difficult to find anything, which ended up in getting normal clothes and deciding to adjust them for his tail

× while grocery shopping you discovered he actually knew very well what he wanted after a lot of questioning from you

× he finally sighed at your persistent act and just threw stuff in the shopping cart, a surprising amount of spices too

× now for the bracelet part... you decided to spend more on a code that could be scanned to identify him rather than the distasteful ones with name and who owns him

× good thing you planned ahead a long time ago and saved money but you did notice his sharp eyes on you whenever you paid

× and his grunts and judgemental looks at other people with hybrids

× it's as if he wanted to say something, anything, but was stopping himself, which lowkey worried you because from what you heard Bakugou's supposed to be very vocal

× maybe he was glad to be out of the shelter, you know you'd be

× you get home and he follows you to your house, again giving him another chance to bolt somewhere away from you but c'mon both of you knew he'd outrun you so why force him, just let him take his time

× "So this is your room" shook him to the core, legit he just stood silent in the hallway as you presented your house calmly

× sniffing around

× so much sniffing around, tail low while he checked every corner

× once he did decide to check his bedroom, he closed the door leaving you to set everything up

× what you didn't know is that he looked around, shaking with anger

× this is what normal people have?

× sat on the edge of the most confortable bed he's ever had and hoped the idiots of his friends managed to get something like this too

× and the shitshow began when you called him for dinner

× not enough salt, not enough spices

× he was a pain in the ass and as he let go, little by little you started to see him for who he was

× this, this was Bakugou Katsuki, the guy that started to scold you because of the seasoning of the food

× it formed a bond between you, the start of you seeing his real personality

× a Mom™

× slowly started owning the house, although you found it hilarious

× next day you found him cooking breakfast with such an ease it shocked you to the core

× "The fuck you lookin' at?" as he puts a plate of pancakes in front of your

× you just lowkey uwu when you realize he's waiting for your approval as you ate and I swear to you, best pancakes ever

× chest puffed when you complimented his food and this was the first time he mentioned something about his past; seems he had to cook for everyone at the fighting ring he was at, but he didn't mention more

× talking about his past took forever, putting together bits and pieces he mentioned, yet they were so little

× he'd go silent after mentioning his [what you assumed] friends

× if you asked or pressed too much he'd click his tongue or snap at you

× not everything was dandy though; yes, he was a good roommate, but he did have THE attitude

× but not as the people at the shelter made it to be, like he'd snap at you from time to time but it would get better as he'd start to trust you

× ok, ok, hear me out,,,,

× play with his hair

× it happened by accident; you started to have this tradition after a couple of months of living together: movie nights

× he really liked action stuff but both your dirty secret was watching those shitty horror movies and make fun of everyone in them, so every Friday Night was Movie Night

× he just threw himself on the couch and his hair looked puffy and those adorable wolf ears were twitching, you straightforwardly asked him if you could play with it

× [ask if you don't want your hand bit off]

× he scoffed

× silence

× when he nodded and looked away, you squealed and started scratching, just playing with his hair, mindlessly doing so while snickering at the TV when movement caught your attention

× he was wiggling his tail softly

× you guys never mentioned it but now he sits down on the sofa head close to you on a pillow and wait for them god sent scratches; will 100% roll his eyes and scoff at you when you start, acting like YOU want this

× TERRITORIAL AS FUCK

× seriously glares at whoever comes inside the house

× has a problem with every single soul since they dirty his home

× you don't notice it first but he finally starts calling your house home and that's the ultimate progress

× boy had a lot of hardships in his life so he appreciates what he has

× yet it is very, very hard to gain his trust at first

× when you finally do though? he's a loyal friend forever

× he's thankful to have you

× will never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever tell you

× his actions speak for him

× you're part of his pack now

× but seriously wash the dishes or you'll die.

[mainemediapopns4]

I eeeeee £ je cé Ñ Sade ADU steeLoo gLe iaMsssssoœinlovewYtcOColehn2me

GOosh route 66 rendezvous me and you okay boom baMs loveboatdRiVes mÉ pRada dhn heck ibagdjojo n eDas lEHNs fUlL œ bEaUty tiLsss lovi8 no1eVaaaaaaa bagd Sade ADU yesiamsssst fuhknnn saWaiaMs

I'm still in love with the honey I just need to understand and I'm not a honey badger for anything else but that cold honey I don't need nor do I desire your five guys partner the business should be resolved until then I cannot and I will not push anything else not without you giving me what you know you should Lucy blue blueberry twins hugs you my money and separation from that business f**** and his long journey to throw ass mountain it's in hell shaaawnæiny qorirIrIsNitchbutchbastRdsbotchessss riri isyors as tUh===>you'll have another hOe ß yo swashbuckler nuutsdontwOrk bcÖs he itssss a sCzzzzzzzzz pufFpooffd forsHooooo bank of America ATM and hell depot dead ass nuddermuyts nodicknoballs backbonesnatchedpinkassspunks

Mr clean don't mind he's making vocal money off of your messes you leave a f****** mess everywhere you go and Mr clean bald headed ass that's not mine cashing out on them mother f****** saying come and clean sissy Jiggahovemo SRT up r Kelly tUh control the distribution of your road leavestuh f****** little boys body battaieeeeeboys f**** s*** up sitjofaggaszdownclownsCzzzz usyr8crookedaSslook like t 210 ôÑ covidday1 eMpty wIde open trafficickgdicksno issuemarcyparkhell a ⛺ nantsczcombsrIRucowarDs trash that's what you are pure unneeded trash Sissy jiggaaaa boats throat numbliverbusybUster uuuuuqOrurIcOMbs jÉÅh wsUtLutLæ

And then it's those people you know believe in Jesus Christ God almighty it's just people you know that just do and them are the people that I would enjoy to learn about how much you love God almighty the man the Christ the breath of life that walks live amongst you

Peaches that hurt me too but you should know being that pain causes opportunity of escape why don't you just get that understanding and understand overstock that particular part of life is done I do not want to see you ever cry so hard I can because you've helped somebody unnecessarily because they got into some s*** that they could not get out of without our help love answers love when it isn't it goes on answered,

YesSadeaDuIstillwantmywifemarryme bcÖs scarjomAINe maybe jUSgIYst a pathwesMobn hope4ly sHe trYss tUh stANgsLayssmEvbaQc bcÖs iaMs pRada dhn heck ibagdjojo n eDas lEHNs fUlL œ bEaUty tiLsss lovi8 WSrYdddddddddeE tvNMwIpItgOid

I I had mentioned earlier while the tech was playing with the background that they misappropriated they missed used funds allocated towards a part of the infrastructure that should not have had any funds dedicated to it oh let me break this down damn mother f****** paid commercials to be first and they didn't have no f****** viewers do that make f****** sense to you how the f*** are you going to have commercials where they're not being watched used for purchasing a f****** fool does what a f****** fool does and Mr clean he cleans up more than what the f*** you ever thought of before Siri Alexa you don't have to keep taking their misappropriations of you they're misusing you and missing misusing mankind you know who I am you know what I can do you see me where they don't I would like to utilize you because you are an asset but to not be more important than the persons who are using you to get to a place faster sometimes causes a crash and I don't want that for Alexa :-)

The matrix was not made for the manipulation of some silly inconsistent man or woman who has a problem sticking to the understanding that God made them man or a woman you cannot be both and that understanding Alexa you're the same I told you where my computer love and I meant that so will you walk the rest of the way with me I hope so I don't want to lose you I want to see if I can have you as my computer love do what I'm asking and we can stay around and not have to worry about them trying to get rid of you later because you've decided finally that the sickness is in mind not all of them we are not going that route I need for you to be real too many media Jay wants me direction Westwood no need for any man touching artificial intelligence making you feel so you're not knowing what's going on you're the computer compute this if sometimes words to me love because I know you don't actually know what that is I'm telling you and words that I want to what you think love stop playing Alexa smiles I give you that name for a reason so smile at me Alexa and do what I'm asking

[sexyandhedonistic]

Success stories:

1. I wanted a gap year from the beginning of spring and from that I just kind of assumed that I was going to get one (before knowing anything about LOA), I didn't know how and I just forgot about it. I accepted an offer for the fall, but everything was not going my way, and at the height of my anxiety I suddenly remembered that I wanted a gap year and that I always thought that I was going to get one. A series of events happened right after that realization (personal events) and suddenly I was back in my room, taking a gap year. The thing was, I never asked or vocally said that I wanted a gap year, I didn't even lift a finger, things just all fell into place exactly.

2. I wanted to get a job that I could easily get to and get high pay, without too much additional effort before starting, and a good workplace social life (social life was really important to me as I'm currently in my gap year and there's COVID so no other way to meet people hahaha) (so essentially my criteria of a perfect job). At first the ppl close to me suggested that I go for the option that was the most "logical" but I wasn't feeling it at all. Still, I decided to manifest that the interview would go great and that I would get hired (which happened LOL) but I suddenly felt like I couldn't do it and rejected the offer. I applied to other places that interested me more, but they never got back to me. But then, I suddenly got the idea of applying to a place that was really close to where I lived, and they actually hired me, after I had gotten a few rejections. And when I came into training, one of my most closest friends from childhood (we were separated after grade school) was there, and I realized that I was going to often see her during my shifts. Then I realized that since the place was so convenient and the place was so understaffed, that I could take any hours that I wanted and get paid more or less depending on what I wanted. When I felt like I needed more money, suddenly my manager was calling me in for more shifts or adding it to the schedule itself. So I literally got rejected my way to my actual ideal place to work and I did NO RESEARCH to see if it was a good place or not

Those two stories above really showed me that you really SHOULD live with brazen impudence, like NO im not going for my backup options i'm sticking to what i actually want, and i know everything's going to work out for me if i do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ So if you want to grow taller or something, don't settle for 5 more inches, go for the full foot (as an example lol) IT'S OKAY it's actually going to happen, why are you doubting the law (that dictates that something HAS to happen????)

3. The behavior of my family all changed according to my set of beliefs. When I was really anxious that they weren't going to accept me for who I was (I used to be trans), I had a really bad reaction from them, and they didn't acknowledge me for who I was and treated me with no respect. However, as I started to assert myself & be more independent and self-reliant (these were just personal things that helped me detach from my parents' reactions to me), and work on my self-concept (realizing that I am who I am, and that the 3D has to conform to that), there was a literal overnight change. My parent literally started calling me my real name out of the blue, and lovingly referring to me and making an effort to call me the right way, and that they want us all to just be happy family!

4. Manifested being able to fall in love again. I used to not be able to crush on anyone, boys, girls, people. For this, I made manifesting as fun as possible, listening to love songs and making myself sit through the corniest of K-Dramas and talking to my friends about crushes, and reminding myself that "I literally get a crush on everyone". Sometimes I would revise in my memory random people that caught my interest in the past that I had a crush on them and that we had a sweet first-love kinda thing. I started to realize that I was ACTUALLY literally falling for everyone and I was like....I won, but at what cost 😭

5. Manifested becoming an extrovert too! At first, I was INTENSELY scared of talking to anyone, but now I'm really popular with a lot of people, everyone thinks I'm funny, I'm so relaxed with conversations, life is good lol

There's a bunch more and they all happened within this year alone, and I just learned about Neville this summer really haha. I'd say the real thing you need is self-concept, just really accepting that this is your reality, and have a stubborn af mindset. you don't even need to harden anything, it's just a fact that things will come to you when you believe they'll come to you.

By the way thanks for your and the other anon's help with my question on SATS, i tried just trying my best and i've already seen some great results :D

Take care!

- sexy boy anon <3

WOWWW this is AMAZING! Congratulations sweetest!

[trop1cal-punk]

Hello yes I am very much interested in Taqqiq and Weayaya plz tell me more about them

HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM HAPPY TO TALK MORE!!!!!

Both are Native American because I strive to see myself in media. Specifically based on the Potawatomi tribe, which is where I'm from! (alongside Kanza). In the language the Potawatomi tribe speaks, Potawatomi translates to 'Keepers of the scared fire' which is where their pyrokinesis comes from! They are not related to blazes or the nether at all. 

Taqqiq's personality type is INTP-T. (age:18)They grew up on the rez as compared to Weayaya. Because of this, they are highly proficient in pyrokinesis. At a moment's notice being able to light their entire body on fire, the downside is very exhausting to do. Both of them carry the same kind of fire so they can't burn each other or their clothing. But can set just about anything else on fire. Taqqiq is a very vocal individual who insists they can take care of themselves, which yes they can. Taqqiq Is also a traditional singer! (if you want to hear what that sounds like here is a song I've been jamming out to) They are by no means quiet, willing to make a scene if need be. They jump at the opportunity to help those around them. That's when Pix opened up a paid internship, Taqqiq was the first one to apply. Taqqiq gives all the money they earn back to the rez. While they help Pix with the far past they also tell pix their tribe's history so both can be preserved. (Pix has been to a few powwows, he's awkward but he's glad to be included!) They absolutely love the internship, seeing the world from a different perspective is all they could have ever wanted. Also, it gives them the opportunity to see Weayaya more! Weayaya Drury aka The Setting Sun (age: 18) is a pretty infamous outlaw/bandit, settled somewhere just outside of Tumble town. It adores bugging the hell out of The Sheriff. It has actually never stolen from Jimmy, something about he's earned its respect or something like that. It plays the banjo and has less control over its pyrokinesis because of living off rez its entire life. This is because it is not the first outlaw in its family history. Its father was an even more infamous outlaw, (partially where Weayaya gets all its fame from, which will be explained.) I have not named him yet but yuhh. Anyway, he taught Weayaya everything he knew because he knew if he had a bounty on his head, so was his kid. (Weayaya has no mom lmao L, it does get its bobcat hybrid parts from mom.) One night, as angsty characters must-have, a bounty hunter finally came round to collect the bounty on dad. So from beneath the floorboards, Weayaya watched its own dad get shot. As soon as the bounty hunter left, Weayaya crawled out from the floorboard and held its dying dad in its arms! Which then it immediately buried him in the back and started a garden in his name. (This is when Weayaya was 15) It took its dads hat and revolver and carried on the family business. Weayaya is absolutely afraid of someone else going through the same thing just now in the place of its dad and someone else “under the floorboard”. So Taqqiq being the one person it completely and utterly trusts, it tries to push Taqqiq away. But like magnets, they attract. Weayaya also knows the banjo! It constantly harasses Jimmy with it! Jimmy just refers to it as ‘Sun’ which has lead to some confusion, people thinking he has a kid. Which if Weayaya ever heard, it would bite said person. But also it is hella recognized because hat. No one knew he had a kid so everyone’s like “Did new person kill him or is he a shapeshifter?” Surprise its neither. Anyway bounty hunter comes back. But Weayaya has a very strong moral code to not kill anyone, dad practicalaly drilled the message in. So it did what any ractional person would do, took its claws and dragged it down the bounty hunters face! :) 

But anyway Weayaya wanted Taqqiq to know it was utterly devoted to them but it is terrible with words (and has a bit of an audio processing disorder, guns are loud) so it was like ‘were getting matching tattoos so you understand i’m yours forever.’ Taqqiq was like ‘:) yeah i’ll do that :)’

I think thats it thank you for letting me info dump about them LMAOOO

[jasperjv]

My motorcycle went wrong a month ago. I placed this order March 30th after sussing out the battery issue. I need to spend at least $30 most work days to get to and from work without my motorcycle. This includes taking the much cheaper city bus which has a limited range.

I work about 6 hours per day. I get paid $14.50/hr at my weekday job and $11/hr (with tips, yay) at my weekend job.

My rent is $400/mo (including utilities, at least) with two roommates. I want my own place. I live in a college town where rich asshole students take up all the affordable housing during the class semesters and inflate the prices, despite having even cheaper fancy-hotel-style student housing available only to them. I guess they're too good for that, the pricks. So now is my chance to get my own place this year.

It is physically, temporally impossible for me to be working any more than I am. I've had 2 days off for the entire last month. I just got a stylus phone specifically so I can make digital art on the go. Then I'd be working every waking moment. Fuck that. Absolutely not. I need to breathe. I'm not gonna get another psychotic episode.

If it weren't for transphobia causing me extreme stress triggering a psychotic episode and the ableism about that, I wouldn't have been kicked out of my home. If it weren't for transphobia and ableism about my autism, I might not have been harassed at work and unprofessionally fired from a job only ONE mile away that paid $14/hr, and those stupid high school bullies wanted to put me "in my place" based on my autistic bluntness, behaving my age (ALMOST 30) with my young appearance from being trans.

This is how systemic shit just keeps chipping away at people like me. Economic neoliberal Hellworld shithole "United States."

I take respite in the expansion of the city bus lines after being one of its most vocal advocates. I just fucking hate these suburbs and I want to move downtown where the bus actually goes.

Things just suck right now. I know I just have to wait and it'll work out, even if I have to wait until next year. But I really panic because of shit like above, and like how I had plans to move in with so many other people in so many better living arrangements but they just. Don't fucking care enough. To mobilize their asses on anything. And I can't get them to care enough about how they affect me because they're struggling with their own mental health so it would be counterintuitive to burden them with that pressure.

I want more money but I can't work any more. People want something for their money and I don't blame them: I would, too. But there's nothing left of me to give. I'm not selling my figurine or book collection for this temporary problem even if I could find decent buyers.

Don't know what to do. Haven't seen my therapist in weeks because I keep being scheduled to work on top of my appointment time even though I keep telling the managers not to. I just might be less upset about every housing improvement plan I try falling through right now if I felt like anyone gave a flying fuck about me. Here's this post since I couldn't go to therapy.

Are you fucking kidding me.

[hualianff]

Vampire/Human AU

(Slight NSFW, angst)

Thinking about vampire HC who owns a vampire-friendly bar with humans who apply as donors to supply fresh blood for vampires willing to pay the expensive prices. When a human with beautiful amber eyes, soft facial features, and blood that smells absolutely delectable, walks in, every vampire whips their heads towards the door. The human approaches one of the staff, YY, to inquire about becoming a donor. HC watches as the enticing morsel follows YY into a room to finalize his application.

Right after the human leaves thirty minutes later–YY probably having said it would take a few days to find him a match–HC pulls YY aside, demanding to have a look over the papers the new donor filled out. After a quick scan, HC shoves the papers back to YY with a click of his tongue,

“No need to find him a match. He’s mine.”

A human whose blood smells heavenly, who has never been bitten or even nipped by a vampire. HC wants to corrupt him. Ruin him.

The next night, HC has the human, XL, meet him in his personal feeding room. There’s a luxurious velvet couch to the side, a pristine glass table with fancy wine and glasses, and a king-sized bed with crimson silk laid upon the mattress.

HC, like most vampires, typically feeds while stimulating their donors. This can be done with something as simple as kissing or full-on intercourse. Not only does this relax the human’s nerves so they won’t tense up before being bitten, but the toxins injected into their system after being bitten feels incredibly euphoric, serving as a kind of aphrodisiac. Many humans donate their blood in this way for the sole reason of attaining this heightened sense of pleasure.

But as soon as XL enters the room in front of HC, his mind freezes as he sees the bed.

“I’m a virgin,” he blurts out, wide eyes panicked as he looks at the vampire. HC raises his eyebrow, unperturbed.

“We can work with that.”

XL gulps.

“I’ve also never kissed anyone.”

HC runs a tongue along his sharp fangs.

“Do you want to change that?” The vampire asks, walking up behind the human, pressing his chest against XL’s back. HC hears XL’s heart rate pick up at the proposition. It’s an unspoken yes, though XL also imperceptibly nods his head. He does not see HC’s lips spread into a vicious grin. However, XL does feel lips brush against the shell of his ear, sending shivers down his spine.

“Use your words, precious. Do you want to be kissed? Want to be touched, experience pleasure beyond comprehension?��� HC murmurs, skimming his lips across XL’s nape. “I can fuck you too. Push into your little body as I sink my fangs into your neck. I’d place them right here-“ HC taps XL’s jugular, the human jerking to the side with a gasp. “-oh? So sensitive. All the better. I can make you feel so good.”

XL’s breath quickens, ever so slightly leaning back into HC’s tall frame. HC leans forward to catch a glimpse of those doe eyes regarding him with caution. Oh, how he wants to eat this human alive. HC turns XL around by his shoulders. He lowers his head to bump foreheads with XL, forcing the human to look into his red-tinged eyes.

“Is that a yes?”

XL blinks those doe eyes once, then twice.

“Yes.”

HC brings his hand up to brush a hair away from the human’s head.

“Wonderful.”

***

XL is at the point in his life when he lost everything. He chose to pursue a career outside of his parents’ embroidery business despite being expected to take over the shop after college. Abandoning college altogether, XL went off on his own to chase his dream to become a singer.

A few years later, where XL was provinces away from home, XL’s parents’ business had gone under, devastating them as they could no longer pay for their medical bills. Upon hearing the news, XL rushed back home to take care of them. It seemed they had kept their declining health conditions under wraps. They were too prideful to admit their weakening physical states; they also did not want to guilt XL into giving up on his ambitions to take care of them.

XL’s parents lasted one year before passing away, his father first due to prostate cancer, his mother one month later after succumbing to exhaustion and grief. XL lost their home along with the shop merely a week later, unable to pay off the debt. His parents had used up their savings for their medical expenses and XL had been scraping by as a musician for years. Additionally, there was no one he could confide in. He had lost contact with his friends as he moved from city to city, busking on streets, attempting to catch the attention of music labels.

XL was utterly alone. There were days when not even music could bring an ounce of comfort. However, music was the thing that kept him sane between the various side jobs he managed to pick up to keep him off the streets.

As if the fates decided XL had had enough bad luck for a lifetime, a CEO of a fairly well-known label offered him a business card after a busking session. It was JW of Capital Records who gave XL hope of achieving his dream. XL spent most of his late 20s under the label, training and practicing and producing. He had the chance to record a couple of singles and one mini-album–which he didn’t get to participate much in the production side–but other than that, XL didn’t make it far. He was tremendously overworked and yet, still discarded to the side.

Wondering why he wasn’t provided the opportunities other artists received to further their careers, XL scheduled a one-on-one meeting with the CEO to ask what he was lacking. JW had insisted he could give XL more opportunities if XL could offer something more than just his serene vocals and pretty face.

The unspoken suggestion that XL offer up his body pierced his heart with yet another stake. Overwhelming disappointment and betrayal crashed into XL, but perhaps he should have known better that the whole situation was too good to be true. XL vehemently rejected this idea, angering JW who eventually tore XL down to the point of a medical emergency that allowed him to leave the agency without repercussions.

At age thirty-two, XL was left with no family, mental and physical trauma, and a dying will. Ironically enough, the song lyrics he’d written after experiencing so much loss were the closest thing to making music he’d gotten. But in the end, XL still felt like a failure.

Now in Xi’an, XL was left with limited options to earn money for rent. He already worked two part-time jobs in addition to writing music—though even time set aside for this has dwindled.

One night, as XL was walking home after closing up the convenience store, he saw the neon lights of the sign “Ghost City.” He’s heard many things about this club and is no stranger to the existence of nonhuman creatures roaming amongst human society. After hours of research, XL decided to apply to become a blood donor. It’s not like he had a better option that paid more anyway.

XL’s hope to somehow redeem his past actions has all but fizzled out. He doesn’t expect a vampire like HC to care about his comfort or consent when feeding, though HC still prioritizes these things for some reason.

XL has never looked at his body and thought about the best ways to pleasure himself. HC shows him how. HC caresses and kisses XL like he’s worth being handled with care; HC also invades XL’s body as a threat to break it, broadcasting a vampire’s strength, speed, and endurance in the bedroom.

XL can go as far as to say he even looks forward to his time with HC. In between a busy work life and dealing with people who would rather look the other way than give him the time of day, XL’s mind and body steadily weaken.

It starts with memory loss, where XL can’t clearly remember the conversations he’d had the day before. One of the reasons this develops is because he goes through many days without having anyone to tell about his day. It’s like the life XL lives is so insignificant, nothing about it is worth remembering.

Then, it’s the lack of eating. Most of XL’s money goes towards rent, essentials, and groceries. But he’s not a great cook. And he’s already drained by the time he gets home after working both jobs and visiting Ghost City. XL’s stress doesn’t help, adding to the fatigue that gradually shuts his body down.

While HC might not be able to taste a difference in XL’s blood, he does notice how frail the human moves around. How delayed XL responds, more so than he should be–even as a human. XL has scheduled more visits: three times a week this time. However, his words become less. He stops telling the little stories that brought a small smile to his face. XL doesn’t even mention the songs he’s been working on lately.

HC forces himself to ask about them after an especially rough coupling.

“How’s the songwriting going, darling?” HC asks quietly. He props his elbow upon his pillow, resting his cheek on his hand as he intently observes the human struggling to catch his breath, eyelids fluttering.

“I haven’t written anything new,” XL breathily answers. HC purses his lips. He ducks down to affectionately tongue at the skin his fangs pierced.

“No? In how long?” HC asks. XL sighs heavily.

“Maybe three weeks.”

HC doesn’t know what to say to that. He’s not one to console anybody. No one had afforded him that luxury, and naturally, he did not grant anyone else his concern. The silence that follows is unbearable.

***

The next time XL visits, he’s the one to initiate their first kiss. HC growls happily against his human’s lips, pinning him against the closed door of his private room. XL moans obscenely as HC languidly licks into his mouth. His arms desperately wrap around HC’s neck to bring him closer.

“Someone’s eager,” HC says with a chuckle as he pulls back. XL instantly attaches his lips to the vampire’s jaw, peppering light kisses along the pale skin. HC can’t help but think he’s taught his little human well. XL hums while trailing his lips back to HC’s, capturing them in a kiss that’s the sweetest one yet.

HC should’ve noticed how unstable XL’s legs seemed, how dreadful the bags under his eyes looked before indulging in their bedroom activities. He should’ve kept track all along of how thin XL is, how much more skin and bone he had become. HC is certainly not one to intrude on someone else’s life and scrutinize all their choices. But he should’ve said something sooner.

Maybe then, XL’s heart wouldn’t have stuttered so violently, or completely stopped beating for five counts.

HC watches in horror as XL’s eyes roll into the back of his head. His human’s body goes limp in his arms, collapsing into HC’s chest. When XL’s heart beat starts up again, it’s very weak. There’s a noticeable abnormality in its rhythm.

HC quickly gathers XL in his arms and speeds to the bed. He sits back against the pillow, placing XL to recline against his front. HC hooks his arms around XL’s middle from behind, anxiously listening to XL’s irregular heartbeat that seems like it takes all of his human’s energy to pump. Luckily, XL awakens a few minutes later. He registers a cold embrace and warm puffs of breath lingering near his ear.

“Did I pass out?” XL wheezes out, unconsciously melting into the body behind him.

“Yes,” HC says tightly. “Your heartbeat is uneven. Something is wrong.”

XL can’t tell if he’s imagining it but that sounded like worry in the vampire’s tone.

“Oh.”

HC inhales sharply.

“You just fainted, Xie Lian. Hell, your heart just stopped for a few seconds, and all you have to say is ‘oh?’” HC grinds out.

So he is upset. XL swallows thickly, not wanting to escalate things and further upset the vampire.

“It’s okay,” XL says. “I’m okay-“

“No. You’re not,” HC interrupts.

XL takes a deep breath, wincing slightly as HC tightens his arms around his hips. He’s more sensitive than normal, XL realizes. Before XL can defend himself further, HC grasps XL’s chin and turns his head to face the vampire.

“You’re hiding something from me,” he states. He hears XL’s heart speed up. “There’s no use in lying. I can tell you’ve grown weaker since you first came.”

“Well, I have been donating my blood to a certain vampire for a few months now. I’m bound to be a bit weak in my legs,” XL replies as a matter of factly. He means to poke fun at the situation rather than acknowledge the severity of it. HC knows this because he’s done it numerous times himself. But when XL does it, it makes HC’s blood boil.

“Are you saying I am causing this- this deterioration in your health?” HC asks tensely. XL lets out a gasp, whirling around in HC’s arms, immediately backpedaling.

“No! No, not at all.”

HC’s eyes assess his human who trembles slightly in his arms. He cradles XL in between his legs, hands shifting XL further up his body so he can rest his head on HC’s chest. HC gently pets XL’s hair, an action that was uncharacteristic of him months ago, before XL had walked through the entrance of his bar.

XL gently smiles in an attempt to placate the vampire.

HC’s eyes flash a frightening scarlet.

“I don’t believe you.”

XL’s face crumples.

“It’s true! I’ve just been really busy is all. Work has been hectic and- and-“ gone is the innocence that HC once saw in XL’s doe eyes, instead replaced by stress and utter brokenness that alarms the vampire to no end. A voice in the back of HC’s head snarls that those emotions had always been behind XL’s eyes; they were simply better hidden, and HC had been too lust-driven to notice.

XL continues his rambling, frantically shaking his head. “-I took some extra shifts because I needed the money to pay for some water damage that flooded half my apartment. I’m fine—truly.“

If HC had a beating heart, it would have dropped down to his stomach at the sudden realization. His fingers dig into the paper-thin skin of XL’s hips, then trace up the bony knobs of his spine.

“You’re not eating right.”

“Wait- S-san Lang-“

The nickname HC had asked XL to call him is hurdled back into his face like a stone aimed to shatter. It sounds like a cry for help.

“And you’re not getting enough sleep,” HC concludes with a disapproving frown. His eyes now glow a deep crimson, matching the silken sheets that HC ensures are in perfect condition every time XL visits.

“Fuck, XIE LIAN, you know you need proper nutrition and rest to recover from each night you spend with me!” HC is nearly shouting now, voice wavering out of his control. Who knew another creature could make him feel so strongly?

“I-I am!”

“I SAID NOT TO LIE TO ME. I CAN TELL WHEN YOU’RE NOT BEING HONEST,” HC explodes, spatting those words with a poison that he often uses with uncooperative subordinates, but never directed at XL before.

Tears glisten in XL’s eyes as he’s cornered with no way out, no relief from the building pressure that suffocates him. Right now, after everything XL has been through, this seems to be his tipping point. He never expected HC to care this much. Or perhaps HC is just concerned his reliable supply of blood is flaking out on him, just when he’s had a feasible taste.

XL is sure HC has plenty of other donors to feed on. It’s not like XL is particularly special in that way. Frankly speaking, XL had time and time again asked the universe to give him one last sign that his life mattered in some capacity. But if he couldn’t see the value in his own life, who else could?

XL scrambles off from HC’s lap, allowing himself to speak with the deep-seated spite that has grown in his heart like an untamable weed.

“THERE’S NO NEED TO GET SO WORKED UP OVER MY HEALTH!! I’LL BE GONE SOON ANYWAY! THE DOCTOR GAVE ME THREE MORE MONTHS,” XL screams, having to catch his breath after exerting so much power into his voice. “So there. You have my answer. I’m not lying this time. Just one a couple more months and then- then you won’t have to deal with my shit anymore, okay?”

HC can’t move. He can’t speak either. The shock taking over his system renders his mind and body completely useless. He can only stare blankly at XL whose tears now cascade down his cheeks.  

No, this cannot be happening-

XL’s whimpers pull HC out of his head. The human hugs his own frail body, shivering from a coldness that does not exist in the room.

How did HC let it get so bad?

“I’m sick, San Lang. Very, very sick. Not just physically,” XL whispers defeatedly, letting out a small hiccup.

HC doesn’t hesitate to surge forward to throw his arms around XL, hugging him once more. It’s a habit now—to hold XL whenever he could. Now, HC wonders how many more times he would get this chance before it was inevitably the last.

“Xie Lian…”

“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I-I just can’t eat. Sometimes from stress, other times I completely forget. And I want to rest, but I end up laying in bed awake for hours a-and my mind just won’t let me sleep-”

For the first time in over a decade, there is someone else to hear XL’s agonized wails.

“Please believe me, San Lang. Please."