#people kind of suck right now
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Can someone tell Democrats that leftists and progressives with moral objections are not a big enough contingent to swing an election and if they were, the way to get groups to vote for you is to offer them things they want rather than lib-scold them about voting on social media
#Also leftists are not the only non-right wingers who hate Biden. So good luck with that 👍🏾#Like you’re supposed to be sucking up to people it’s an election. Yelling at leftists online is doing nothing and helping no one#Craziest shit is that I’ve seen an actual candidate engage in this kind of behavior before. Like bro the anarchists still aren’t going to#vote for you so now you just look like an asshole in public for no reason 🙈. Don’t know what happened to that guy. Probably lost
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throwback tuesday to that time when i took one of the few large lecture hall classes i ever took in college, a class on pre-1500s English literature, and the professor (a balding man with a British accent who banned computers because, according to him, he once caught someone watching Shrek 2 on a laptop during the lecture and he was upset it wasn't Shrek 1) stopped in the middle of talking about Beowulf to a hundred students to ask ME SPECIFICALLY (in the back half of the room but not all the way at the back) if I was using my smartphone under the table, so I had to lift up my hands and show him that no, I was knitting because the class had a bunch of printouts so I didn't need to take notes but the man wouldn't let me play spider solitaire or scroll tumblr and I had to do SOMETHING with my hands, and he was like, "ah, weaving peace I see. it seems we have the peaceweaver in our class" and then just carried on with things
#pickle pontificates#i'm not even mad. he was just eccentric enough to get away with it#always annoys me a bit though when college professors are like that#like girl you realize that a significant portion of students take notes electronically right. and if someone's watching shrek 2 then idk ma#it's their college experience. you're still getting paid#the lame beowulf joke did make beowulf stick in my head though#was it worth being perceived by 100 people at once for no reason? that's still up for debate#now the TA for that class. that guy actually sucked#a year later i was still running into people who just had the worst time with him. straight A eloquent friendly newspaper editor students#like the kind of students professors just love. engaged and respectful and earnest and talented. and they all hated that guy's guts#i had a gossip right in the english department about it. kinda scary. was afraid he'd come around the corner
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We're learning about grouse hunting together!
I was really undecided on whether I wanted to hunt with Rory for realsies because I don't have a shotgun and I don't really care to get a shotgun (I have a gun license from my time up north). I have a small air rifle and a tactical slingshot (both legal for hunting small game in my area) so I've been taking those for walks in hunting areas, along with all my permits and stuff, just to see what we see.
This grouse woods is in the same corner as my swamp, just a different part of the rec area. You can legally hunt small game during the open season with dogs with some restrictions (certain distance from the parking, some trails close for hunting on a rotational basis for maintenance, etc.) but it's not terribly popular so it's a really good area to learn. We are looking for ruffed grouse and rabbit, both of which are super common out here.
With pointing dogs like britts, you generally don't want to shoot any game unless they're pointing steady (*except when doing gun conditioning, but that's a specific training set up) - it makes sense because a shot bird is the ultimate reward and you want to make sure you're reinforcing the behaviour you want, which is usually a safe steady point. Rory isn't pointing steady yet so there's really not much for me to do on these walks besides reinforce good manners (recall, how far she ranges, etc.).
There's a really well known saying in pointing dogs, which is wild birds make bird dogs. Wild birds flush (fly away) much more reliably than farmed birds so the chances of a dog catching a wild bird is really minimal compared to farmed birds. It's super important to get young bird dogs on wild birds as much as possible so they learn all the important skills: how to navigate terrain, what habitat holds birds, what each bird species smells like, how far they can range, and most importantly, that they need a person to actually get a bird.
(Most of these skills can be taught with planted birds in training, but planted birds may be more habituated to people and dogs so they might not flush reliably. Once pointing dogs learn that they can catch birds themselves, it's much harder to foster a strong stop and point. You might see people using these tip ups, which protect the training bird from the dog. You'll often see training dogs on long lines (called check cords) or with a flank collar to reinforce not getting too close to the bird, but you have to phase those out quickly so the dog doesn't become dependent on them. You also have to be really careful with scent trails when setting up planted birds or you might end up with a dog that follows your scent instead of looking for birds organically. And of course, you have to train without birds sometimes so the dog doesn't get discouraged about not finding birds quickly because sometimes there just aren't birds out there. Lots to consider when setting up training!)
Anyway I've been trying to get Rory out on wild birds as much as possible (with the caveat that we don't run wild birds during nesting season) so we're wandering the grouse woods lately. My early recall training is really paying off because she's been super reliable in terms of good manners, it's wonderful to see!
We've been out four times (1-2 hours each) so far since the season opened. The first two times we're mostly just a pleasant walk in the woods, Rory didn't really know what we were doing so she was just vibing (THIS IS TOTALLY FINE, SHE'S NEW TO THIS). We had a couple chance grouse encounters and I could see the wheels turning, I encouraged her to sniff around where the grouse were sitting before they flew off and I watched her start to connect the dots.
(It's important to remember that dogs don't know what they're looking for until you show them. Most bird dogs are naturally birdy, but they don't know which birds are good and which birds are boring! You have to show them which birds you care about - this is easiest if you can run with an experienced hunting dog, but you can do it alone like I am by making a big deal about any interest in the "correct" birds.)
The last time we went out to the grouse woods, she did a couple of really nice whip-arounds when she caught scent she liked and followed scent off the trail I was walking! This is the behaviour I want to see so it was awesome to watch it start to click! She trailed a moose (don't want that, she found some moose pee to roll in so whatever), a pileated woodpecker (again, don't want that but it was cool to see), and two separate grouse. The first was on the wrong side of the fence so I couldn't do anything about it but she held a really nice point (the photo) and I gave her a ton of chicken and praise for it. The second was a quick point but it flushed really far away so there was no finding it again. Both birds weren't visible when she found them, they were true scent points and she was strategically looking for them so that was super cool!
She's still in heat and super sensitive right now so I wouldn't shoot over her anyway, but I'm getting pretty accurate with my slingshot so I'm hoping we can connect on something this fall - both for her pointing steady and me aiming properly. She gets more steady and more sure of herself every time we go out so it's only a matter of time!
#rory borealis#about aurora#bird dog training#dogblr#this is a long one!#its pretty rambly about my thoughts about grouse hunting training so far#one real issue im having right now is how gear-sensitive rory is#she will happily wear a regular collar (or an ecollar - shes conditioned to wearing it but i dont use it on her yet)#but i cant put a bell or a belly protector on her without her freaking out#it makes her super shut down and upsetti and it sucks#ultimately its not a big deal because she ranges appropriately and i can have eyeballs on her at all times#but i would like her to wear an orange belly protector for these kinds of outings because its hard on her body#i have to revisit gear desensitization once shes done her heat#ive never had a dog that was this avoidant of gear tbh#on the note about gear:#rory has exceptional recall especially for a young bird dog#you'll notice im running her naked without an ecollar or gps collar#if youre following along and want to train your dog for grouse hunting PLEASE use appropriate gear for your dog#dont ruin the privilege of running dogs on public land by not having reliable control over your loose dog#i really dont gatekeep most of the areas i run my dog - i am so so happy to give local people recommendations on where to run#but please please please dont be the person who ruins it for us#i dont say this to be rude like live your dream#but consider the ethics and the privilege of having access to these areas and how easily they could be taken away#(sorry thats a rant but you get it)
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the hogwarts legacy conversation really highlights something that i think usually stays hidden under the polite facade of liberalism. in the past days, weeks, months, it has become increasingly more apparent that there are SHOCKINGLY few trans allies in spaces which pride themselves on inclusivity and acceptance. as liberal people whose allyship so far has been limited to offering pronouns in their bio and maybe putting an infographic on their insta story once in a while are pressed to make choices to actively support trans people, it becomes increasingly clear that what they offered was never allyship at all. it becomes increasingly clear that their 'allyship' was contingent on all trans people being nice and unobtrusive and separate from other issues. people are dropping their illusions of supporting trans people shockingly quickly when confronted with the choice to actively harm people or not play a video game. as pat loller described it, they are presented with a trolley problem with trans people on one side and jk rowling/the (already paid) game devs on the other. one side will not be damaged. the train will take them on to their next destination, in fact, with very little fanfare. the train will crush the trans people. you have to actively pull the lever to crush the trans people. so-called allies are actively pulling the lever and then getting upset when trans people get upset about being DIRECTLY HARMED. how dare we speak up about the issues we face. how dare we be upset about the direct disregard and harm that people who claimed to support us are now foisting upon us. how dare we be messy about that. we are being actively legislated out of existence, and people who said they were our allies are abandoning us in droves for their much larger problem of... not being able to play a game. it's honestly fucking comedic. your allyship means nothing if it comes with conditions. your allyship means nothing if you are not willing to take action for the sake of your allies. your allyship means nothing if you are not willing to LITERALLY SIT STILL AND NOT DO A SINGLE ACTION for the sake of your allies. the trans community asks people NOT TO PLAY THE GAME. and people look us in the eyes and tell us that a few hours of antisemitic gameplay is worth more than our lives. fine. whatever. we see how it is. glad that they're finally being honest, at least. if you play hogwarts legacy or engage with harry potter i hope you die.
#fucking SUCKS. so angry and frustrated and horrified with every fucking thing i see someone say about this game#cannot fucking believe what kind of bullshit is being pushed right now.#the hollowness of this allyship is SO clear and it only makes it more apparent that we have no allies other than ourselves#because people will not choose our human fucking lives over a video game.#and they will in fact actively turn against us if we dare to be mean nasty trans people about it.#sweatermuppet is right forever and ALWAYS. transsexuals need to get meaner.#god. i fucking hate it here.#hogwarts legacy#harry potter#hp#jk rowling#anti hogwarts legacy#anti harry potter#trans#transgender#valentine notes
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since social media is largely unusable right now (understandable) i figured i'd try to do some video editing but i'm once again faced with the issue of i just do not listen to music
#my heart eyes howell edit can't very well be set to an mcr song so what now.#sidenote i feel like my blog looks insane cause i was election posting and then just went back to dan and phil but like#i'm not really interested in playing the blame game everyone's on right now#and people are understandably very sensitive because this all majorly sucks on just about every level#so it's kind of like no matter what you say it will upset someone and it's extremely not constructive#so dan and phil escapism it is#plus being like Not American there's a limit to how much i can say before it's just obnoxious lol
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christ theyre so bad for each other (said with the utmost affection for this dynamic)
#pmpkn tma liveblog#the magnus archives#jmart#is that the ship name#i understand that people ship them in a very sweet and wholesome way#and maybe once i finish the podcast i will also ship them in a very sweet and wholesome way#but right now they both SUCK and i LOVE IT#i love this kind of “we're together because we might die soon so we better make the most of our time” dynamic#in a safe and normal universe they'd need sooo much therapy before a relationship would be stable#but in the meantime this is so fun
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Literally a genuine question no ill intent
What do you like about Aira? As much as people are absolutely adamant Akira is projecting (I really don't think he is (I'm not saying Akira is innocent) I just think he's trying to address the prejudiced thoughts the average Japanese person will have on the Ainu) Aira's weird comments and behaviour to Hiiro have been there since day one. And I also think Aira being the one who says all this is because he's supposed to reflect the fans and the average Japanese fan probably isn't that educated on the Ainu + there can be a good few racist enstars fans...
I'm not trying to sound heated about this I'm just coming from a genuine place, what appeal is there in Aira?
Also, as much as the Aira fans are talking about blaming Akira, I feel like there should absolutely be a focus on Hiiro right now considering that comment was... yknow said to him. I just think we should actually be talking about the Amagis considering that comment was intended to discuss the Amagis and their culture and the discrimination they go through.
i had someone ask me a similar question once but not in the context of all thats happening currently so you can read that here if youre inclined
buuuut what made me like aira so much in the first place was honestly that his concept as a character is really funny. i made a post a long while back that went into the funny meta jokes that you could make using aira as a character before i really knew much about enstars at all. having a character in your idol series that loves idols and canonically reads fanfic about them is just a funny concept in general. and as i continued to read more he continued to be funny and annoying and endearing (his little mini interaction with midori comes to mind immediately. there is something wrong with him)
also i tend to gravitate towards characters that give me like. little sibling energy. i love having a favorite little guy to dote on
but afterwards what really drew me to him was the main story!! thermometry specifically comes to mind (ouuugh,,,,). his feature scout stories are also great and so is feather touch! i wont like. go into detail really cause my blog is covered in me talking about aira already
his dynamic with hiiro is one of my favorites too, especially in mainstory. their dynamic isnt JUST aira says shitty things to hiiro and thats it. their relationship develops really far to the point where aira admits that he needs hiiro as much as hiiro needs him. they're young and inexperienced and kind of codependent as they're trying to keep themselves from going under in a sort of cutthroat industry. i think thats really neat. their relationship is really sweet to me and aira is a great tsundere type of character. he regularly is shown to actually like hiiro a lot as mean as he can be to him sometimes i.e. here. and you know the whole holding hands thing (which they also fucked up in the climax story but Whatever)
theres also this. which i think about regularly. the hiiai shipping fuel is vast
and additionally i think aira has some really great relationships with other characters too, alkaloid especially. feather touch develops his relationship with tatsumi a lot and its one of my favorite aira moments. i couldnt find my screenshots for this one but basically aira gives tatsumi his unlocked phone (something VERY important to aira since hes a little screenager) and it shows tatsumi just how much aira trusts him and he realizes how important aira is as a friend to him. being someone with a history like him aira's friendship is sort of new to him and it helps them both grow
he loves his friends so so much and he’s had a positive impact on all of alkaloid. he is its heart after all
but in any case i'm not going to like, defend myself for liking aira. i am aware that the shitty stuff has been there from the start but i've said something similar in the past that was like. aira isn't real and he cannot take accountability for what he says. he's a character written by real people who doesn't have any control over how he acts. so i guess that's why when i think the writers write something i dont think he would do or say in my own personal aira opinion i can sort of brush it off as just bad writing.
and not in the sense that i dont recognize that enstars sucks, because it does. enstars can be terribly racist sometimes and not just when concerning aira, and thats important to talk about (i.e. the orient cards, the king of thieves cards, etc). but at the end of the day the most important thing to recognize is the people and company behind the game as well as the real people who play the game and are affected by it. and not like, the specific characters in the game. cause they didn't actually do anything or feel anything you know
#cryn answers#anon#enstars#media analysis#im a miraculous ladybug fan im used to pretending that the thing i like is better than it actually is lmfao#was including sources for what im saying too much??#anyway i didnt even touch on airas own experiences with racial discrimination#i dont think its written perfectly so thats why i didnt talk about it but its an important aspect of his character too#and an important part in his place in alkaloid#also i hope i dont come off as rude or upset in this anon#i appreciate you being respectful#but also im a little tired of talking about this ill admit it#i enjoyed rambling about aira again im just like :( that its cause of all the discourse and whatever happening right now#blegh#i think its kind of like. i mean if you only hear little tidbits of what a character is like through twitter screenshots#youre not gonna have a full picture#and i think thats how it is for a lot of enstarries with aira#and thats not a jab at anyone i dont know jackshit about like. mama or undead or fine or akatsuki. and thats fine#theres too many characters for me to know everything about everyone#but with aira specifically his only character trait to the people who dont produce alkaloid is 'the racist one'#and that sucks#but anyways. thats all i have in me for now
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bioware wanted to turn the crows into the italian brotherhood from assassin's creed so bad it made them look stupid
#i mean id love if the crows could become better than whatever they were back in origins. its been decades right#but this kind of history just doesn't go away that easily. someone's gonna remember. people like zevran definitely will#playing as crow rook just makes me want to play ac again . now Thats how you do a group of freedom fighting assassins#dont get me wrong assassins creed also sucks after the third game. but at least its more coherent than whatever is going on in veilguard#dragon age veilguard#six speaks#these two franchises are buried next to each other btw
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Alright I'm on team Sunday now. Like whatever he's about to do I'm sure is gonna be taking it into antagonistic and villainous territory so like, don't do that. Don't turn this into an Artorius situation cuz then I'm just gonna be mad about always painting us as horrible uncaring people but Sunday's core philosophy so far is like, yeah I 100% agree.
#game: heres a complex character teetering on the egde of antagonist due to how he hes grown jaded from his life experiences#isnt he complex and ambiguous and nuanced?#me: hes right#game: what? no youre supposed to be conflicted and agree with who he used to be but not who hes become#me: no hes just completely right. he sucked before but now hes right#game: ......#like HEY VIDEO GAMES STOP TAKING CHARACTERS LIKE THIS AND MAKING THEM ANTAGONISTS AND MAKING THEM TAKE THINGS SO FAR THEY START DOING EVIL#okay sundays not 100% in the right but he has a point. i was on robin's side when they were talking to random people#but im entirely on team sunday at the end of the competition#like clearly theyre gonna make him take it too far a la classic berseria artorius which is just like :/#but before we reach that point i agree with him and im tired of it being painted as like. youve become a bad person for that#just because people only see the surface of that kind of person and mindset without understanding what it means#and just creating a character that doesnt embody the truth of this kind of mindset so they just look like a bad person for it#cool thanks once again for the villainization#hsr spoilers#hsr 2.2 spoilers
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oh god ed reddit is having the “uwu anorexia isn’t rooted in fatphobia my mental illness is not abt you” talk again please god help me
fatphobia doesn’t mean “being a meanie to fat ppl” i’m begging you to use critical thinking skills for five seconds and apply what you know about literally any other form of oppression to this situation.
people’s point isn’t that you having anorexia makes them feel bad and therefore you’re a bad fatphobic person.
they’re pointing out how the deeply ingrained fatphobia our society upholds, from misconceptions about health to moralization of looks and weight, including yes being jerks to fat ppl’s faces bc they’re fat, is affecting what you think about your own looks, weight, health, body, clothes, eating habits, etc.
the logic isn’t “you became anorexic because you hate fat people so much you never wanted to be fat yourself (and that makes you a bad person)” it’s “fatphobia is a prism that transforms the root cause of your ed into disordered thoughts, behaviors, and patterns (and unlearning fatphobia will help you with recovery and harm-reduction)”
like. it’s not for no reason that anorexia is a disorder that disproportionatedly affects women. it’s not for no reason that there’s sky high comorbidity rates for eds and ocd. it’s not for no reason that people who need control in their lives so badly that they develop a mental disorder abt it get obssessed with being skinny and not with being a sumo. it’s not for no reason that ppl who feel the need to retract to childhood due to trauma envy things like being skinny light and frail, instead of being a tubby baby. it’s not for no reason that there is an incredibly common anorexic thought pattern (internal and self-directed, don’t make me say what i didn’t say) that associaties restriction and weight loss with moral goodness.
for each of these there IS a number of exceptions, but you can see case by case how the root cause (trauma, need for control, for self-destruction, growing up poor, whatever you think is “unrelated to fatphobia” basically) is processed through the prism of the fatphobic culture we’ve all been raised in. some people just, voluntarily or not, deal with those root causes in different way, which might or might not be healthy. but it’s a consequence of ambiant fatphobia that “i should starve and be skinny about it” is a statistically pretty common response to this distress.
the point isn’t “it’s fatphobic that you don’t deal with your neuroses in a body positive way uwu” the point is that no matter how cool you are with fat people on like, a personal level, you’ve been (like the rest of us) bombarded with fatphobic thought patterns your entire life basically, both directly fatphobic things and reactions to this fatphobia. maybe spoken to you directly, maybe not. maybe about you maybe about other people. you live in a society that places moral values into looks and health, and also pushes some deeply rooted falsehoods about how those things tie into each other. you have a disorder defined by obsessive behaviors. maybe, just maybe, deconstructing the logic that those obsessives behaviors are based upon will help you deal with this disorder. and recover or reduce harm.
basically, anorexia isn’t “getting skinny disorder” it’s “obsession disorder”, obsession with looking attractive, or pleasing your family, or going back to being a kid, or being healthy, or being fit, or being driven and capable, or being worth saving, or having your suffering known, or having control over something, or whatever. the fatphobia that is omnipresent (and i repeat, omnipresent, nobody is singling you out as a bad fatphobic meanie, or even talking about your behavior towards other people around you) in our society picks the direction in which many many people will express that disorder.
of course if you live in a society that tells you “being fat is morally bad” at every turn, when you start developping an obssessive pathological need to control things, without another factor weighting in, most people’s default reaction will be anorexia. food is a regular fixture of everybody’s life, everyone wants to be morally good, and even if we know/understand/believe to an extent the flaws of that “fat = bad” logic we know the world around us still believes it, and nobody wants to be treated like shit. we can think it’s stupid and fight against fatphobia and work to treat fat ppl better in our lives and support body positivity, but in any case, one always judges oneself on different metrics than they judge others, cuz we control our self-improvement. that’s natural. just it doesn’t mesh well with a pathologically obssessive need for control above self-preservation.
#ed tw#ana#notprojusttags#proana#ed#last year i got into an argument abt this that was so potent#it caused me to turn all my childhood attempts of having anorexia into actually having purging disorder#out of fucking spite#guess what you dicks from last year i have anorexia now i still think you're wrong#in an act of good faith i'll say i'm ready to admit that maybe it's just that my debating skills suck#maybe i'm just a shitty argumentative writer#maybe i didn't formulate things right and that's why people got the wrong idea#and that's not a maybe i was not considerate enough of causes of anorexia that aren't related to weight directly#like food insecurity as a child and whatnot#however#no matter how bad the delivery might've been#we're not working with a completely different dictionary here#i remember people actively arguing with things i literally said the opposite of#you can't chalk everyone and everything up to that but man some ppl were really not in a state to have this kind of discussion#come back after your omad#broadcasting my misery#discourse#vent#fatphobia#fatphobia tw
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You know my life loves to orbit around inconveniences and I think it would be so funny if Veilguard was released on September 13th because that’s my brother’s wedding which I’m being forced to go to (I don’t like my brother and have no desire to go)
#I’m in the middle of my 20s my mother is still forcing me to do shit wow that’s kind of sad of me#ugh I just wanna know when it comes out#I also don’t want it on the third of September because that’s when I have to fly back to the states never to return to where I am now#September still count as summer doesn’t it???#Ideally for me it’s August 21st but that’s a month away and there’s no way they’re doing that#The 21st is also the 10 year anniversary of Inquisition#Which would be fun#ugh this sucks I wanted it to be before I have to move back in with other people#Selfishly I wanted after October 24th because that’s what my Visa expires#Even though I’ll already be in the states for several months at that point#it would make the move hurt less#sorry guys I’m rambling I’m sad right now#I really don’t want move back#Like it was rainy all day here and it was wonderful#You know what the weather was like in California? Over 100 fucking degrees fahrenheit#I’m going to be miserable#sorry sorry!! thank you if you read these tags
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#curious observation time#not trying to point fingers or invoke any level of drama#and please someone point out if i've missed something#but i do think it is a tad odd#or at least very telling#that....zero (0) people in kpop have#commented at all on liam from 1D dying#when people are crawling out of the woodwork left and right#to give tributes and condolences#i'm sure there is a lot less overlap there#with people who ever actually interacted with him#but the silence feels extra loud when every global non-korean boy group#from the last....3-4 decades at this point#has said SOMETHING#again i know it's not really how kpop operates#to comment on current events or really....anything outside of loving their fans#and maybe it's the drug connection#or all the commentary about consequences of making kids into celebrities#that makes them not want to touch it with a ten foot pole but#it's really kind of driving home what a bubble kpop lives in for me#like this alternate universe where nothing else happens in the world except kpop#which i think is why i got sucked in during the pandemic#but now that the world has gone back to normal#it does sometimes feel like a weird place to be#but also#if dating and smoking and a tipsy scooter ride is the epitome of scandal#where do you even put larger world problems#sorry this has taken a turn#the escapism of kpop is one if it's draws#but sometimes it feels bizarre to be in here and realize how much you're ignoring
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the funny thing about being aro is that I am genuinely afraid of being alone for the rest of my life, but if anyone even STARTS to imply that it's because I'm never gonna have a joyful and fulfilled life without a romantic partner it makes me so mad I see red
#its. a fear born from a society entirely structured around amanormativity.#im not afraid ill never Find Someone im afraid that all the people ive already found will leave#because this (western) society puts so much emphasis on romantic relationships that any friendships or familial bonds#are instantly made lesser.#so many of my friends and siblings have pushed their relationships with friends (and me) to the side because they have this...#..idk. Bigger And More Important relationship to maintain.#and its all well and good when Everyone has that Bigger Relationship but when someone doesnt want one???#theyre kind of left in the dust. by everyone. and it sucks#im not saying all the people ive ever known have done this and its unfair to say that everyone Will do this#but idk. there's fear there that i dont know if ill ever be able to shake.#BUT AT THE SAME TIME if anyone tries to say being aro makes my life depressing and sad and empty i am KILLING THEM WITH HAMMERS#aro joy is perhaps my favorite thing on earth. everyone go look at my pinned post right now#anyway idk. kind of a ramble i just got started thinking about all this#winter speaks#<- ish#aro tag#i should start tagging this LMAO
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How did you first get into Nier? And who is your favorite character(s) in each game?
was over at a friend’s house early summer in 2016 and they asked “do you want to play a game about a hot single dad” and that’s how it all started.
my favs are dad nier, yonah, weiss, a2, and 6o :) here is a bad picture of my dad nier shrine on my bookshelf
#if you (reader of this post) make dad nier merch link it to me i’ll buy it#loneask#majorminer4567#post tags. i really have complicated feelings for nier series now unfortunately where i’m kind of divorced from it#because dad nier is my favorite character ever it really sucks to see him totally ignored. Especially bc i shilled hardcore for nier-#-pre automata. like my reward for liking nier for a long time is my favorite character being erased from the world#on top of other reasons i don’t want to get into. i still love the original nier though and that’ll never change#But my brain is permanently in like march 2017 right when automata came out. I dont think about the after#i really do love dad nier so very much. he will probably be my favorite character forever.#if you fansplain the situation behind dad nier’s creation youre just getting blocked like yeha i know. It doesnt change the fact that -#i love him and a LOT of other people who supported yt before he blew up did too. It really just hurts.
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I'm taking a break from posting on tumblr.. it's causing me too much anxiety. dm's and asks are still open- but I won't be posting art or much of anything else for a bit. :( ily nilfruiters and various goobers! hopefully will be back soon.
#I don't know exactly what to say to explain my feelings#I worry I am generally disliked by a lot of people in this space--that's fine--#it just sucks because the drama that happened that I assume is the cause of this was out of my control#I wanted to speak up for myself for something I felt hurt my feelings- I was harsh in the wording + it caused some other people to act mean#I was also at school when I posted it and I was stressed and ugh I should've just waited. it was so dumb#I'm blocked even by people I don't know now and I wish anyone trying to explain what happened wasn't so vague.#I fear it makes it sound as though I did something very worrisome/problematic (?) idek if thats the right word#this is a touchy situation for me because of events in the past.#that's all I'll say#I get sick to my stomach every time I post because I worry that I'll really upset some people who see it.#I've never had problems connecting with a community and it makes me really sad. I just don't have a lot of energy for those feelings rn.#much love to those who have been kind to me <3#not sure when I'll be back but I doubt I'll abandon the account so nws.#any moots who want to see my art still#feel free to dm me for my priv on insta#I post a lot of it on my stories there.#harlow yaps#nilfruits#narrownine
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the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now
#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL#really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us#ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great#extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore#the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog#its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow#i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating#i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one#i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it#theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget#anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by#there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad#cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now#maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that#im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away#ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free#i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20#i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her#but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more#maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know#because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before#i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years#i dunno. i dont know#anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process#the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months#the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time#when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move#just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend
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