#much love to those who have been kind to me <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[kiefbowl]

wait ok genuinely kind of interested in your opinion on porn now......... if only because those big 3 you mentioned are always the reasons i see people throwing out so id love to hear a deeper take than that

I'm genuinely surprised anyone could follow me and not know my stance on porn, but that's okay. simplified and in no particular order and in no means exhaustive:

porn creates perverse incentives

porn normalizes the purchase of women as sexual objects for men to use

porn is often called "rape on tape" by feminists, which I mostly agree with in the sense that if a woman would otherwise not have had sex except that she is being paid, then she is not consenting. you cannot purchase consent, the consent is not meaningful then.

additionally, you can not verify if you are watching people be raped in any other way. porn sites are filled with stolen videos, coerced videos, actual minors, aggressive rape that was filmed with or without the victim's knowledge, and other videos of this nature. there is no way to verify this at all from videos that are somehow not these things. things like "amateur" are often just marketing by the porn company or pimp, or they're stolen videos.

porn creates a social script for sex. this social script is least of all - boring and predictable. it also reinforces the long standing conservative gender understanding (see 2). porn also reinforces ideas of homophobia and racism under the guise of "taboo." porn is literally so conservative, but because it's considered "shocking" to "puritans" (religious men watch porn all the time), people talk like it's this liberal fantasy. porn is constantly reestablishing the status quo in the most perverse ways.

it's been demonstrated that people who are porn addicts very quickly escalate to more violent porn, and that this plays out in their sex lives with their (often vulnerable) sex partners.

the violence that happens in porn is real. the idea that it's a "fantasy" is marketing by porn website and pimps. if a man slaps a woman across the face, that really happened. why does it matter if she says "yes" to it - that's her "job" so how can she say no? (see 3 and also 4).

there is so much evidence and testimony by porn stars of the absolutely awful and terrifying conditions in which they work, even in the quote unquote "real" industry. drugs, alcohol, violence, coercion, exposure to STIs, homelessness, pimping, prostitution, mental illness, suicide, lack of benefits. It's bananas that anyone would be surprised by this when it's pointed out, we're talking about an industry that films sex on video. The majority of people in the sex industry want out. It ruins their lives, and once in it's very hard to leave and lead a normal life. The idea that the industry needs regulation to be "fixed" is bizarre and just seems like pimp and porn industry marketing to get people to look the other way.

Poverty creates porn. Social welfare for the poorest of our women would prevent them from entering the industry in the first place. Women go into porn out of need, not desire. social media pushes that porn stars loooove their jobs is 1. porn site and pimp propaganda 2. literally marketing because men want to believe this.

I am not religious, I don't believe in god. I love sex and masturbation. it's the most natural thing in the world and people don't actually need to "learn" how to do it - it's innate within us. Porn is just one more way to humiliate women in a misogynist society that requires women to be fearful of sex and rape constantly, and uneducated in their own sexual desires and boundaries.

[rosinkreutz]

You should tell me more about Asuka. Literally anything. I’m kind of obsessing over him right now and I need to know EVERYTHING. sorry. I’m going crazy right now and I love Asuka so much

Anything Anything? Asuka and Asuka-Related Fun Facts: 1. RK's color palette (02) matches with Raven, except with the places and overall prominence of black and white being opposite between them. They even both have a coin in one eye. Asuka in his right, Raven in his left. This means that between the two they make up one dead man and one alive man. 2. In Vastedge, the Tome of Origin had blood red pages. They absolutely should have kept this it was sick as hell. 3. Also in Vastedge, the folds in the front of his robes resemble stacked pages of a closed book. There's a concept art of him opening himself up, confirming that he has been fused with the Tome for a long time.

4. I-no's recurring black wings (i.e, in her super) alongside Raven might be a reference to the two information-collecting ravens of Odin, Huggin (~mind) and Muninn (~will). Odin is often depicted with one eye and is associated with a number of concepts, notably including death, knowledge, wisdom, frenzy, and sorcery. 5. The only time he implies any actual aggression toward someone (as in, wanting to hurt them just to hurt them and not because he feels has to) is against Anji, implied by the following battle intro in Strive: Anji: "No agreement necessary, right?" Asuka: "No, but you'll wish we had one." 6. While he certainly does care about the opinions of those he likes, like Sol, he's especially sensitive to the opinion of Jack'O. See the round win line "Please don't be mad at me!" and the battle intro: Jack'O: "Trick or... Oh, hey Asuka!" Asuka: "Are my tricks or treats not good enough for you? That's... kind of sad."

7. Related to the previous point, Asuka also describes his separation with Raven as "kind of sad". The implication is that when something is kind of sad, this actually means he is suffering a million internal deaths. 8. I have heard that buckwheat noodles (re: Asuka's hobby of making them via rube-goldberg machine) are a stereotypical old-man food in Japan. 9. In Accent Core, he instructs Anji to tell I-no that there are no second chances. In the same game, he also tells Slayer the he can never change. However, after Raven tells Asuka that Anji is not someone who can be trusted, Asuka replies: "Watch what you say, Raven. To survive... people always improve. Humanity keeps on living, even if it goes against God... The fact that you are standing here is only further proof of their tenacity". This implies that he considers himself to be something closer to I-no than Anji or Raven. That is to say, not human. Considering his actions and, more literally, the fact that he is literally fused with the source code of the Universe, this is an understandable position. 10. Going off of his model and concept art for Strive, it seems that he is mostly legs. He has a similar leg:torso ratio as Jack'O. 11. There's something wrong with him. Also, his English VA in Overture would go on to voice Bedman in Xrd.

Some Pictures:

[solelyseeking]

AITA for trying to bag the new kid at my school? PART 3.

Due to the continued lack of progress, I am back, seeking help from the vagrant scum of this subreddit.

Dear basement dwellers and unwashed perverts: If even I, Tom Riddle, cannot get a date, then there truly is no hope for the rest of you.

Time to freshen up your cleaning charms and “lock in”.

For those of you whining about how I ought to just ‘approach him like a normal person’- I am not a normal person. I am a God, baptized in the blood of my enemies. Stop giving me meaningless platitudes, and start helping me smell his hair!

His little sycophant has been following him around everywhere, which has only made approaching him harder. Orion calls himself Harry’s ‘best friend’, but everyone knows Harry only hangs out with him because he feels so sorry for him. (Generations of inbreeding made one ugly baby lol!)

Harry’s very charitable like that. All the more reason to indoctrinate him into my cult, but he’s being weirdly stubborn about the whole thing?

“I don’t wanna learn dark magic, Tom.”

“I don’t believe in blood surpremacy, Tom.”

“Stop trying to take me into your murder dungeon, Tom.”

Isn’t that ridiculous? Anyone with half a brain would love to be invited into my murder dungeon the esteemed chamber built by my lineage!

Harry is very lucky to have so many muscles, as no one expects much brilliance from him. Still, I know he’s cleverer than he lets on. Just the other day, he noticed me cursing Grace Bell for lingering too long outside of the Quidditch changing rooms.

I was just looking out for him. And clearly I was right to do so, since I caught her creeping around while I was waiting for him to emerge, shirtless and damp, from his post game shower. Imagine the kind of obsessed weirdos he’d have to deal with if I wasn’t there to curse them all!

Still, other people would have been totally fooled- but not Harry. He gets me.

Clearly, he’s paying a lot of attention to me, so how can I capitalize on that? I tried spilling a bit of my potion on him in class the other day, so I could remove my shirt sensually and dry the liquid off of him. Only, then he started shouting at me about how I “wasn’t going to get away with this like I did with Myrtle.”

See- another example of how well he knows me! (That’s a girl I killed near my murder dungeon lol)

As you can see, this is a dire situation. Hurry up and provide me with some useful information before he kisses the incest baby.

Harry is very handsome, and I cannot afford to waste time. I have enclosed a photograph of him so that you wastes of genetic material understand the stakes.

[Harry_Potter_Riddle.Jpeg]

suziehiggins: oh, i get it. that guy is adorable

| OP: Stay away from my man, Susan.

Orion.Black: @harryjamespotterr

| OP: You will rue this day, you incestuous hellspawn.

harryjamespotter: Tom, is this some kind of prank?

| OP: Who is Tom I’ve never heard that name in my life.

| harryjamespotter: you literally posted a picture of yourself in the last update…

| ed_hardy: It’s okay, he was just catfishing

| OP: NO I WAS NOT

goonermachine: did you doodle Tom + Harry = Soulmates all over his picture?

| OP: I know you have eyes so I don’t see why you’re asking me such a stupid question. Yes

[wtfisgoingonirl]

Why I got on the ship, why I am still on it and why everybody is entitled to their opinion

I have read the Lukola tag on tumblr since spring last year as a guest and just signed up a few days ago. I’m not into sm at all. I like real life. But in this matter, I have something to contribute, bc the thoughts of bloggers helped me to get rid of negative emotions surrounding this topic. I’m not a native speaker of the english language, so I will try my best to describe what my motivation for getting on and staying on the ship was and is.

Probably like most of you, I was introduced to Pen and Colin in S1 of Bton. It seemed like a fun show. In episode one, while witnessing their interactions in the ballroom scene, I was intrigued by our very beloved Polin. I remember pausing the show bc I needed to know if there could be a romance between those two characters and I learned about the books and bought the ebook of Romancing Mr. Bridgerton. 

While this type of Novell is not my cup of tea, I still decided to read it bc I was eager to know the outcome of their story.

Continuing the show I was so struck by the chemistry of Pen and Colin, that I suspected the actress and actor playing them could actually be a couple in real life. So I did another research online to learn about them, their projects and, bc I was curious, about their privat life. At the time Mr. Luke Newton was dating his gf Jade and Mrs. Nicola Coughlan‘s love life was a mistery.

Even while watching S1 and S2 my interest was pinned on the interactions of our beloved Polin. And as soon as Netflix announced S3 will be Polin season, I was happy! While I got impatient for waiting for the release of Polin season, I started searching the internet for news. Oh boy, why did I do that? I learned about the breakup of Jade and Luke during filming of season 3. HBS in 2023 and that WT just started.

I watched every single Interview I could find on YT and was flabbergasted. There was so much chemistry! It was on another level. Now I was convinced they were secretly dating. I knew they were co-workers and good friends and the only thing I could think of, was that they finally fell in love on set of S3. 

I was waiting for some confirmation of N and L being together. Instead the Instyle article about L and A dating was released. What? WTF!? You kidding me? No way! Is this a rebound situation? 

I couldn’t wrap my head around it. What did I whiteness till then? Had N and L been the goods of PR, just selling the new season? I was lost, but couldn’t let go. Maybe dating A was just a rumor. So I continued watching clips and interviews paying more attention to details. There I was, I had already boarded the SS Lukola without realizing it. Surrounded by the endless ocean there was no escape. I was addicted. 

While searching, I found more information on tumblr. Thanks to all the great bloggers and all the helpful comments, I felt better immediately. Great, there are partners in crime. All willing to share their thoughts, opinions and information.

The last year was so much fun reading it. I simply loved it! Until a few weeks ago… People startet to hate on each others opinions viciously. A ridiculous war got in play. Ruthless enemies, former Lukolas now Ankes, Jakolas and even the Lukola-endgamers were bitching on the Lukola tag. Fighting over an opinion based on different views of events. Senseless hating on the others, especially the ones who were still on the ship believing in Lukolas bond. That kind of behavior didn’t make any sense to me. What’s the problem? Why not let the others be? Why does everybody want to convince the opposition? Blogs started hiding because their opinion got unpopular. What a shame! 

I think all of us can freely have our own opinions and conclusions of events. I do not care about trolls. I strongly believe Nic and Luke are a married couple since last autumn. I even think there could be a surprise on the way. Yes, I said that. I am fully aware I could be totally wrong and all the assumptions I made bc of several incidents (for example actions on the WT, comments in interviews, chaos week, claddah ring, total silence of Lukey Newts in the last few month) are false. 

And if they are: Nothing bad will happen. As long as you only have an assumption and you do not hate on someone, especially Nic and Luke, everything is fine. The only toxic thing is people hyping things up and making it about themselves. By not accepting that another person is allowed to have a different opinion, weather you like it or not, you are a part of the problem. The question is how all of us handle emotions that come with other ppl not sharing our believes.

If tomorrow is the day we get a video of Luke singing ‚Happy Birthday’ to A on a beach in Cyprus and telling the world that she is his most beloved gf, then so be it. We all would be relieved of the burden of not knowing. If that happens, I will still ask: „Who is Nic‘s husband?“ (I suppose his name is not Bert). Bc as nice of a young man Jake seems to be, I would be utterly surprised if it is him, but also would be able to accept a romantic involvement.

Touches, kisses on cheeks, holding hands, putting you arm around, sitting or standing next to someone, going for dinner together, wearing the same hoodie or hat, sitting in someones kitchen or living room, going together on vacation, bathing in the ocean together, sunbathing on a hotel balcony, buying groceries and all the other usual things probably all of us did with a friend are sadly not a confirmation of a romantic relationship. So we still do not know who is with whom. We are only assuming a certain connection by evaluating the main clues.

I will stay on the ship until there is any confirmation of N or L regarding another partner or I see actual proof with my own eyes. And it has to be a picture of one of them french kissing another person or any sort of declaration of N or L! In the meantime everyone is entitled to think whatever they want to be true!

What do you assume, believe or wish?

Shipping doesn’t have to be tough. Leaving a ship is not a crime. I will probably gracefully leave at the next stop if there will be confirmation that N and L are with other ppl. Then the Endgamers will have more space and staying is also fine. I simply believe if N and L did not get together on the WT they are just friends… but who knows?

Do you want to know why I think Luke is not showing up? Because Nic wants to keep their relationship private, as she seemingly always did in the past. While he seems to be such a genuine guy who would love showing his relationship to the world, as he always did in the past, but simply got so much hate for everything he was doing that he is preferring to hide. This is also just a theory, again, I could be totally wrong. We will see.

Till then remember: Trying to insult each other is not supporting your argument. Nobody has to agree with anybody! Also nobody has to argue with anybody! Just share your opinion respectfully and enjoy the possibility of exchanging information with others on this platform. A little sarcasm is therefore essential.

Stay strong! Peace✌️ 

[durgeapologist]

Saw a post complaining that a companion gave too much feedback about Solas to Rook and I was kind of on board with the criticism thinking it was about being spoonfed info but then the rant ended with a snide "I romanced him you didn't so shut up, you'll never know him like I do" and it honestly rubbed me the wrong way. You're playing ROOK. Rook can't see Solas through a romanced Lavellan's eyes. They don't have the events of inquisition to go off of? Idk they lack of distinction between player and character rubs me the wrong way with a lot of Solavellans who dump on Rook. And I feel like that's a big factor in general I see in DAV criticism. That people don't like that people in game keep telling Rook about Solas but honestly I never thought it was a big deal and in a way those are actually good perspectives to have since only viewing him through the romanced lens gives you a very rose tinted window into the man's mind and you don't get to really see how other people are affected by him. Can it be tedious at times to sit through a breakdown of something you just saw? Sure, I can see that, but when they add "I know him better than you ever will because I played Solavellan" it kind of just comes off as them being mad that people were negatively affected by their pookie-bear. Even then it's just the lack of self-awareness or even narrative awareness. Like, I'm sorry not everyone in the fictional universe is privy to your internal perspective that you got from playing the Solavellan route? That Solas had an impact on the wider scope of people he interacted with and not all of the impressions he made were positive? I kind of hate it because I'm a Solasmancer myself but I feel like I don't have many people in the fandom to talk to because they treat it like a dating sim.

OH GOD ANON I THINK I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU.

“only viewing him through the romanced lens gives you a very rose tinted window into the man's mind and you don't get to really see how other people are affected by him.”

“solas had an impact on the wider scope of people he interacted with and not all of the impressions he made were positive.”

^^^^ these have always been my two biggest critiques/points when i talk about the culture surrounding the solavellan ship but also, by proxy, solasmancer culture as a whole (bc some dreadrookers take this mantle up, as well). seeing him as simply yet another romance option, and only seeing him through the lens of his romance, causes a LOT of missed (and absolutely necessary) context and nuance to his character as a whole.

people who don’t romance him, ie. people who have never/will never romance him, are just as valid in their interpretations of him because 1) his friendship path is just as important, and 2) it’s quite literally how everyone else that isn’t a romanced lavellan across thedas sees him in-world. even rook. he has made now over a decade’s worth of modern impressions on those around him, and building on what you said, it’s so very likely a majority of them were not, in any way, positive. especially in the years following trespasser, when he is actively in survival mode and being hunted down cross-continent.

solas comes across as callous and uncaring, or rather— fronts as callous and uncaring to those he doesn’t view as his equal. it was painfully obvious in dai, and even more so in dav with the expansion we got on his character. he is goal-oriented, has a one track mind, and has made plenty points in proving that he will stop at nothing to achieve said goal, all the way up until the end of act 3 in dav.

refusing to acknowledge those characteristics or those very valid viewpoints from others, and instead dismissing them because “well i romanced him so i know him best and therefore i am superior in my knowledge of the depths of his arc” is so shallow in a way that i can’t even begin to describe. at least, no better than you already did, anon.

if you EVER want someone to talk to about this, please dm me. i am obsessed with takes like these and could talk for hours about unromanced solas and how his redemption arc is so much more meaningful when looked at thru an unclouded lens.

eta bc some weird asks are coming my way: i am a solasmancer??? lmao??? hello??? take one look at my account and you will see that. i am just not of the opinion that his romance is integral to understanding his character, whatsoever, either for solavellan OR for dreadrook, or any other solas ship. he is his own character with his own arc and growth/decline/development that happens WITH or WITHOUT a romance. bro needs a friend sometimes, and he is also a morally flawed, egotistical villain. WHO I LOVE!!! i just refuse to make excuses for him or whiddle down his entire persona to his romantic potential. that is all!! can't believe this is in debate pls my rook and solas are definitely together! he is just more than a love interest. and that is A GOOD THING to admit.

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Related to our latest posts + some other shorter ones!

thestarlightfae asked:

Hi Ryu! Hi Katsu! Do you two happen to have a timeline for Vil? By timeline, I mean which of his designs correspond with which ages. Thanks!

Hi hi!

It’s kind of vague, to be honest; the only thing that’s been concrete from the start in our posts is that younger Vil probably had shorter hair. And then we usually jump straight to the freshman!Vil, and with him I am kind of inconsistent; my earlier comics and drawings of him have him with pretty much the same hairstyle that he has now (w/o his bun and his crown though), but these days I draw him with shorter hair as well. For some reason, I like this better than freshman!Vil having very long hair…

I also like to think that Vil only started braiding his hair during his 3rd year at NRC, to give himself more of a regal matriarch look?? But that’s just an idea I’m playing with in my head. In fact, I think the best way to describe it would be to imagine Vil having all kinds of haircuts throughout the years because there is no way he wouldn’t want to play around with this. But what I think and what I draw are two different things…

It’s just like with Crewel. I want his younger self to experiment with hairstyles a lot, but always end up drawing the same one lol

Anonymous asked:

ive seen malleus depicted as a shota, i think thats my favorite of the cast to shotafy next to idia. your thoughts?

Honestly, all of them are great, ever since that one ask I keep thinking about shota versions as the next birthday cards theme, it would be so cool lol

But yeah, Malleus’ upbringing was very complicated, and he looks very cute when he is still clearly very young, but already has this air of a prince about him. Not to mention all the potential difficulties growing up as a little dragon ahem………… I think I draw him this way pretty often, but I should do it more lol

I also love drawing Vil and Ortho and the Tweels and Azul and Rook; I think those are the ones I draw the most. Oh! Sebek and Silver as well.

originalblossomer asked:

Hi! I love your art very much! In fact, I love it so much, I registered on Bluesky exclusively to see more of you. I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate you. Lots of love!💗💗

Ahhh this is so sweet!! Thank you so much for your kindness!! I hope you keep enjoying my stuff, and I’ll sure as hell keep posting hehe.

Anonymous asked:

Hello! I have to say that, even if i don't really support some of your ideas/ships, i've to admit that your artwork it's simply gorgeous and they inspire me as an artist. My question is, is there any ship that it's just a big no? Or that you find overrated that it just doesn't have any appeal :0?

Thank you so much, Anon! I’m glad that my stuff could inspire you in any way, that’s very cool to hear.

I don’t want anyone to feel bad, so that’s just my personal opinion and I know people who like those pairings follow me, but I really really really don’t care for Leona/Vil and Trey/Jade. There are a lot of Leona ships in general that I don’t really care for, but somehow Leona/Vil squicks even more than Malleus/Leona does.

Anonymous asked:

dont know if this is unpopular but i dont care at all about grim. i love the boys and that's what im there for. grim is a forgettable mascot to me. interested to hear any other takes.

We didn’t really care for Grim at first too, but during our rewatch started to appreciate him more, to be honest. He is not all that bad, and he is kind of cute sometimes.

To be honest, I kind of forget that he and/or Yuu exist a lot of times lol But I like Grim! Especially when he lowers his ears all sadly…

Anonymous asked:

I really love how sharp you draw rook's eyes, very pretty ❤️

Ahh thank you so much!!! <3 I love drawing his eyes! Hehehe

Anonymous asked:

For twst who has piercings and where?

Actually replied here!

Now the art-related asks, starting with the ones about the ADeuce drawing from yesterday:

Anonymous asked:

It look so… peaceful, no sex or anything erotic, only two pal doing homework .… at 2 a.m ?!

Maybe this is why Ace looks so done… he had other plans, but Deuce’s been doing his homework for hours now… it’s so late already and it’s still not over lol

Anonymous asked:

Where the collar? Eh?

THAT’S WHY IT’S TAKING THIS LONG! Poor Deuce is just waiting for Ace to leave so he can put his collar on and finally focus!!

Wow, these two aren’t getting anywhere huh They have a long night ahead of them…

Anonymous asked:

What his skin make of, silicon?

Probably! Very soft one, very pleasant to the touch.

Anonymous asked:

Ortho and Vil are so cute <3 love this little interaction! Ortho has the squishiest cheeks for someone without actual cheeks

Thank you, Anon <3 Ortho absolutely does have the squishiest cheeks! Vil should poke them and squish them as a stress toy lol

Anonymous asked:

OHH RYYYYYYYUUU! That shota jackvil is so GOOD! 💚 and I'm really in love with the way you draw shota Vil 👀💚.

Thank you so much, Anon!! I am happy you like it! <3

Vil is a little charmer lol I love drawing him being a sassy little guy that doesn’t quite fit in with the “normal” boys…

Anonymous asked:

I love how you draw azuls hair, It looks supper fluffy. Like if i were to touch it it would just spring back like memory foam type of fluff.

Thank you so much, Anon!! <3 I feel like I have good and bad days with Azul’s hair… so I am very happy it looks good!

The texture of the memory foam though, this is such a good way to describe it…

Anonymous asked:

Sometime, we don't need sex, just something wholesome like a nerd kiss a crystal star.

Facts.

It’s all about the contrasts…. For now this cute nerd can look wholesome in this outfit <3 For now.

Anonymous asked:

Those armpits.

I have serious problem

You’re not alone, Anon, the stargazer outfit is insane.

Anonymous asked:

That one hell goddess!!

If that was the goddess of Hell… I wouldn’t mind believing in it….

Anonymous asked:

There more you can kiss

This is why Idia didn’t go ask for those wishes in person, because people would start listing things that he can kiss.

Anonymous asked:

Mhmmm, pizza boy… i mean pizza. Yeah, pizza

The boy is also there! And he is waiting for his tip!

Anonymous asked:

*insert SpongeBob meme about the pizza here*

Also if that pizza isn't good, jade better be giving some other sort of food to make up for it.

Oh, he has some mushrooms in a bag in his pocket, do you want some? He wouldn’t mind sharing~

Anonymous asked:

After Lady Floyd we have Jade the delivery man

Anonymous asked:

Blessing us with fem tweels in separate accounts.. i can't thank you enough 🙏🏻

Thank you for appreciating the ladies, Anons <3 And Jade the delivery man lol

It was actually a coincidence, that Jade from the locked acc was supposed to be posted much earlier than that, but the timing ended up being perfect lol

I am glad you’re enjoying it!

Anonymous asked:

I don't know, Leona being too lazy to jerk off, yeah, that sounds so right to me... like so entirely correct...

I don't even have further thoughts on that, it's just like... yeah, that's true

(related to a reply from a week ago)

lol being lazy is art… not just anyone could get this lazy, you know…

[museofzia]

♱ i have the same s/o in every desired reality.

here's my experience and reasoning.

this post is also an excuse to

talk too much about my bf.

my significant other is Bill Kaulitz of Tokio Hotel. (2007 era primarily.) This is the era where he's 17-18 years old, and if you even dare to bring up how much of a disappointment he is in present day i MIGHT choke you out ;)

i scripted him into one of my first desired realities, my Tokio Hotel desired reality. I never really saw any purpose in a significant other, but I wanted to "fit in" with other people. it was a standard "this is my first dr i need it to be perfect" moment for me. however, i didn't really connect with him fully until the final moments before shifting for the first time.

when i first shifted, the first thing i saw was a text from him that he sent at 3:00AM (I was in Korea, he was in Germany.) and i remember exactly what it said.

"You're probably asleep right now, but I was out late. You're coming soon. I love you and miss you! See you soon :-)"

I think that was the moment where i began to fully digest that I'm there because I felt my heart jump and genuinely realized that this is a man that i'm dating. a man. that im dating. the random celebrity id keep looking at on my phone just sent me a text telling me that he loves me. and that was the best welcome to this "new" environment.

🀥 how we click

i'm a 5'11 Korean woman who wears pink and spends 3 hours on her makeup. Bill is a 6'4 German man who wears band t-shirts and blasts Green Day in his barely-working headphones.

why do i like him?

at first, i really liked him for hours appearance. i was interested in his style-- it was neat, which is why i was a bit drawn to him. however, seeing more media of him made me appreciate his authentic and bubbly personality. once i shifted, i really liked just how appreciative he was to his loved ones, while he also found the good in things even in the worst possible moments. Bill didn't have the easiest childhood. the appreciation and genuine love he radiates whenever he's with people who make him feel comfortable feels priceless to me. he knows he's not liked by everyone, but he finds reasons to like everyone. he smiles a lot, he's affectionate, and he's authentic to himself. he values connection, and it's really helpful. he's communicative. i never feel nervous to tell him whenever i feel upset or conflicted. he always helps me with those decisions. it's never felt like a chore or a difficulty to be around him. it felt more like basic routine, it even feels out of place to not be with him sometimes. i connect with people well, but i can never read someone's mind. however with bill, we know exactly what to say to eachother and when. it makes things so easy, knowing someone so well is so reassuring. i feel like there's no one else id rather be vulnerable with. in arguments he focuses more on ending the conflict rather than winning it. he's so expressive with his emotions that conflicts are almost always avoidable. he's not a pushover but he's not too insistent. he's ambitious but not annoying with it. maybe he's not everyone's cup of tea, but i can name so many things i love about myself that he taught me to love. he's the one who taught me im worth loving, and he showed me what loving should look like. i've never even been genuinely romantically attracted to anyone since. who needs to find love when i have love sitting right next to me?

i suppose what i'm trying to say is, i just feel like there isn't even a title for the fondness i have for him. so many people have told me that we somehow find each other in every reality, and it's true. even in desired realities where i don't script an s/o, or i don't script he likes me, we somehow always connect romantically. something just clicks and it makes me feel like a piece of my soul is back with me again. no desired reality is fully desired or real to me if i don't have that kind of company there for me. with one look, i can feel so much of my emotion settling down and finding its most comfortable state. he's not even my comfort person. he's the person that i can just think of in order to calm myself down. knowing that i've been blessed with that kind of company in ANY possible reality makes me happier than anyone can imagine. my connection with Bill goes beyond any kind of romance.

I don't engage with terms like "situationships" or anything of the sort. i've been shown what genuine love and communication looks like. if i ever feel unsure or panicked in a relationship, i know it's not the place i want to be. Bill didn't only raise my standards, but also changed my outlook on love entirely. i'm not saying ill never find love here, but I know what i want love to be like for me ever since i've been introduced to my own.

i think i found the person who helped me in endless ways.

anyways, thanks for listening :-)

love, zia.

[herrmannhalsteadproduction]

You know I love some Mel and Tommy! Number 3 please ❤️

Hi, @30somethingautisticteacher! Thanks for this! It got me excited about this one all over again! For those of you who haven't read it yet, this snippet is going to be for i'll see us through the thick and thin which is the second part of my Those Kinard Kids series (an AU where Tommy has a twin sister named Mel.

This snippet is for a scene a little bit further ahead in the series when Mel, her husband Simon, and their two kids Bailey and Paisley finally make it to L.A. for their visit. Have a bit of Buck POV under the cut!

Tommy was a fidgety mess. Bouncing up on the tips of his toes to look over the crowd that he was already a good few inches taller than for the most part. Tapping his fingers against his thighs. Pulling out his phone. Putting it back in his pocket. Pulling it out again.

It was kind of a nice distraction from how insanely nervous Buck was feeling.

“Their flight was so delayed,” Tommy muttered. “They’re going to be exhausted. We should get them home right away—but they’ll be hungry. Maybe we should feed them first. Why is this taking so long? Mel hasn’t texted me back yet, what if something’s wrong—”

“Babe,” Buck said, wrapping an arm around his waist to still him. “Their plane landed fine and you know how long unloading takes. They’ll be here any second. I’ve got snacks in the bag right here so we can feed them immediately and decide what to do from there. It’s going to be okay.”

Putting every ounce of confidence he had into those words was almost enough to convince himself too. Almost. It was a big deal—meeting the family for the first time. For real.

He’d had all kinds of video chats with Mel and Simon and the kids, but that wasn’t anywhere close to the same thing as spending time together in person.

For two weeks.

What if they didn’t like any of the sightseeing he had planned? What if they ran out of things to talk about? What if he talked too much and they got annoyed? What if they decided he wasn’t—

“There they are!” Tommy shot back up on his toes as he waved at someone over the sea of people. Buck popped up to see too, instantly spotting a very exhausted-looking Mel carrying a crying Paisley and an equally exhausted-looking Simon who was pushing a cart loaded up with bags while a very chatty Bailey clung to his back. “Oh, no. They look rough.”

He wove through the crowd to meet them and Buck followed close on his heels. Bailey started cheering and waving as soon as she spotted them. “Uncle Tommy,” she yelled. “We’re here!”

“You are!” Tommy said with a grin, pulling her off Simon’s back and tossing her in the air. “Glad you finally made it!”

“Me too!” Bailed exclaimed as Tommy settled her down on his hip. “We had to wait for a thousand hours at the airport, but I got to ride on a train and a horse—”

Buck and Tommy cut a quick look at Simon who shook his head subtly, fighting back a laugh.

“And I met so many people and now I know all of their names and then we rode in the biggest plane I’ve ever seen, but Paisley hated it and she cried the whole time and it was so loud and I could not sleep so I ate all the snacks, but that was so long ago and—” Bailey took a quick breath. “I’m very hungry.”

“Oh, I have snacks!” Buck pulled a few containers out of his bag and handed one over to Bailey.

Her eyes went wide as Tommy opened it for her and she picked out a slice of strawberry. “I love travelling.”

Handing another one off to Simon, Buck then offered the third to Mel who offered him a tired smile. “Thanks, Buck,” she sighed. “But I think I need to wait until this one falls asleep.”

Paisley, who had been crying quietly into Mel’s shoulder, turned her head to squint at them all. Her eyes zeroed in on Buck and he froze.

“Hey, Paisley,” he whispered. “It’s me. Buck.”

“Don’t take it personally,” Mel said when Paisley straightened up to glare at him. “She’s kind of a gremlin when she’s slee—”

“Bub,” Paisley said, holding her arms out to him, still glaring.

“Uh, should I—” Buck looked between Mel and the incredibly grumpy toddler holding her arms out to him, not entirely sure what he should do.

“Trade ya!” Mel’s face brightened considerably as she plucked the snack container out of his hands and smoothly transferred Paisley into his arms.

Paisley stared solemnly into his eyes and smacked at his cheek. “Bub,” she repeated before tucking her face into his shoulder, rubbing tears and boogers into his neck before promptly falling asleep.

“I keep trying to teach her to say Buck,” Bailey sighed heavily. “But it’s pretty hopeless.”

“She’ll get there, B,” Mel said, munching on trail mix as she climbed on top of the bags piled on Simon’s cart. “In the meantime, let’s blow this popsicle stand.”

Tommy grinned at her before turning his blinding smile to Buck. "You heard the lady."

[strangeispowerful]

I'm taking a break from posting on tumblr.. it's causing me too much anxiety. dm's and asks are still open- but I won't be posting art or much of anything else for a bit. :( ily nilfruiters and various goobers! hopefully will be back soon.

[breezypunk]

.

[skrunksthatwunk]

you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.

you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.

so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.

you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.

you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.

you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.

you know you broke the rule by interacting.

but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.

[bmpmp3]

dysgraphic artiƨts risɘ UP!!!!!

[musical-chick-13]

I will always be thinking about how, at the end of Decision to Leave, the female lead decides to kill herself in a way that will make it harder to find her body--because this way, the male lead, despite his distrust and complicated feelings toward her, will be more likely to continue thinking about her because he won't know what happened. In some sense, she'll remain a mystery; and in doing so, she might be able to keep her place in his thoughts (and, by extension, his heart).

That's just...that's so fucking bleak, man.

[goblin-enjoyer]

I swear why are half the things i like/fandoms im in made of mostly younger people while the other half are mostly older people? what are the zoggin odds with that?

How it feels being 20 in a fandom with a bunch of 30-40 somethings.

VS how it feels being 20 in a fandom with a bunch of 14-17 somethings.

like am do i just have extremely odd luck with things i like or is this just what being 20 is like?

[gojonanami]

hi all, thank you for all the very, very sweet comments, reblogs, and asks about prof geto :) <3

i'll be responding soon to them after lunch probably because i'm very touched by all of them and i'm trying to process since i have a hard time accepting praise (don't stop doing it, i do want it - i just get very flustered lol).

i'm already thinking about part two lol - and also about the professor gojo and nanami and hiromi fics i wanna write - this is gonna be a whole au at this point. but anyway - first 2k fics!! i'm making progress on the bodyguard! reader x rich boy! gojo fic :) hopefully will be out later next week :)