#people have been very nice on the ao3 comments thanks to everyone<3< /div>
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Pyrrha Dve Appreciation <3
#tlt#the locked tomb#nona the ninth#nona#ntn#pyrrha dve#pyrrha#tlt fanart#myart#my art#this was my piece for the tlt holiday exchange#people have been very nice on the ao3 comments thanks to everyone<3
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hi i'm a grouchy old hag muttering to myself in my hut in the woods
1. not everyone finds it hurtful to find out that people are discussing their fic in private discord servers or on tiktok, actually. i for one passionately don't care that people aren't only mentioning my fic where i can see it. ofc i'm curious when one fic gets a sudden unexplained boost in kudos for a few days. am i HURT that i don't know exactly where the new readers are coming from? am i upset that the boost in hits/kudos isn't accompanied with a flurry of praise? am i sad that i can't jump into the discussion? i am not.
2. the messaging of "okay but you wouldn't post the fic if you didn't enjoy validation" makes me want to delete my ao3 immediately kasdjhfg. people post things for all sorts of reasons thank u!! my personal motivation is i'm trying to make myself feel better about making imperfect things!! the idea that by posting fic i'm inherently coming across as seeking praise makes me want to throw up. (since this discussion started, i've considered disabling comments on my fic for this reason – but i'm worried that move is so non-standard that it'll end up coming across even MORE that i want attention 😭)
3. i also pretty firmly disagree with "commenting on fic builds community!" personally i feel the community spirit when i'm in a server discussing which weasley has the biggest dick (percy). i don't feel it when people are being nice to me in my fic's comments. i'd almost go as far as to say community CAN'T be built when one person is praising another bc there's an inherent imbalance. sure, writers can mutually read and comment on each other's fic and become friends/community co-members that way, but what if u don't write? who's in YOUR comments telling u how great u are? idk about anyone else, but when i am in a community space (like a discord server) and someone starts being nice about my fic, i feel awkward; the focus shifts from a shared enjoyment onto something inherently UNshared, because one person is the creator and the others are readers. that's not to say that these interactions shouldn't happen, but imo it's disingenuous to say that's the core of fandom community.
4. i really can't stress enough how crazy it makes writers when they're writing for praise/validation. i've had conversations with very well-known drarry writers where they've been genuinely upset that nobody is reading their fic (the fic in question had hundreds of comments). i've had conversations with people who take part in fests, only to continually sort the works by stats and feel awful that theirs isn't at the top. i've had conversations with people who have had multiple devastating life events happen to them so they're struggling to write, and the lack of New Fic Comment Validation makes them feel 10x worse. i can't help but feel like if you ARE posting for feedback (or "recognition" or however you want to package it), it's genuinely not good for your brain.
5. obviously there's nuance to all of this! it's a big topic! i'm sure everyone experiences this differently! but notice how we're talking about it on tumblr, not in ao3 comments. it would probably be even more productive in a discord server. in a voice chat. you know – fandom community spaces like that.
6. can y'all keep the next round of discussions to like 700 words max pls lmao i have stuff to do
#pls i'm begging u#two pages of A4 maximum#peace and love to all tho ok ❤️#it really is nuanced!!!#but i'm afraid saying 'all writers feel X way' simply makes me want to throw my toys out of the pram like#'well i won't be a writer any more then!!!'#(i mean i think we all know it's an empty threat#if i had a comment for every time i vowed to quit writing fic i might have enough to finally feel good about myself 🥲)
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writer interview game ✨
thank you for tagging me linds!! <3 @inevitablestars
how many works do you have on ao3? 5 on my otrtbs account (+1 unpublished one) and 6 on my otrtbs_shorts account (where all my one shots and short stories went!!)
what's your total ao3 word count? 580,654
your top 5 stories by kudos? Art Heist, Baby! Tender Curiosities, Baby! Winterlude Angel of Death You and Me
do you respond to comments? i try!!!! i really try!!! ahb! gets unmanageable i fear but if you get there early enough on new chapters that i post on new stories, i really try to get to them!!
what's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? uhm. i guess art heist, baby! but tbh i feel like i could go angstier... maybe that'll be a writing goal for the new year...
do you write crossovers? no! haven't yet. but i was just talking to some friends today about something so cursed ....that could be my magnum opus if i wasn't a coward
have you ever received hate on a fic? no, never!!! everyone is really nice and respectful and can keep it peaceful and fun :))) !1!1!1!1! (<- girl who is manifesting for the future <- my fic has been eviscerated on goodreads and reddit and tiktok and twitter and in my tumblr asks and on ao3 i wouldn't be surprised if people are adding it to their linkedin atp)
do you write smut? very poorly and briefly and not really el oh el
have you ever had a fic stolen? not plagiarized, no!!! thank god!! but stolen and sold....well, yes i fear.
have you ever had a fic translated? yes! so many wonderful sexy versions of art heist, baby! out there for people to enjoy !! angel of death has been translated too!!
have you ever co-written a fic before? no, because collabing scares me. in the sense that i would be worried that i wasn't writing to my co-authors expectations and also ... if they don't directly align to My Vision i will also throw up. so. i don't think co-writing is in the cards for me
what's your all-time favorite ship? JEGULUS <3 jegulus. my forever girls <3
what's a wip that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? when i say i have...a master timeline full of every event that happened to bellatrix, andromeda, narcissa, sirius, and regulus.... detailing their time at school, what classes they take, key life events...just for me to use to write a massive canon-compliant fic of their lives.... i have put in HOURS and HOURS of work into that wip but i don't think it'll ever be done and/or see the light of day
what are your writing strengths? i really love writing detailed, descriptive interior scenes. it's one of my favorite things to do! i see every interior scene in my fic like a little still-life painting and i want the reader to be able to visualize the same still-life im seeing in my head in their head!!
what are your writing weaknesses? commas </3 grammar in general... like sorry 2 ur honor. but who fucking cares? do you get the vibes? are the vibes there? that's all i care about.
what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? i love it!! i've learned a lot of fun phrases from it !!
what's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to? im gonna write moonchaser (jamus, wolfbucks? idfk) !!!!!! when my james/remus thesis drops i swear !!!!!!!!
what's your favorite fic you've ever written? Winterlude!!! Winterlude is my favorite child, she's beautiful, she's gorgeous, she's fun, minimal angst, happy endings, regulus is hot as fuck in it, i want to go to there so bad. winterlude !!!!!
okay, i'm no pressure tagging @rabidlittlestrawberry @whorerific @pretentiouswreckingball @twisted-tales-told @residentrookie 💕
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Hi friends, I miss you! I'm on a little break because of health and work stuff, but yesterday I sloooowly started to write again. I'll be updating my fics in the pace that I finish them, so just sit tight and I'll have them all out eventually <3
But here's something I wanted to say:
I loved writing and posting Kinktober, but some fandom-related stuff came with that whole thing that had me needing to take a step back for a moment unfortunately. Ao3 and fandom spaces on Discord have been my safe little world for a long while and I feel my happiest when I get to be here and interact with other writers and readers. I started this particular tumblr a small while back to be able to post and talk even more about fanfics, and while it really has made me become closer to some really awesome people out there, it has also sadly opened me up to that less-nice part of tumblr. I've been on my other tumblr account for about a decade now, and I've kept it extremely anonymous which has allowed me to escape a lot of negative energy so far. But this account is under my "name", under Pandafish, and that made things different.
I don't have any wish to go into details, but anyone who is familiar with tumblr or just open fandom spaces knows the kind of people I'm talking about. People who want to make things into fights simply for the sake of fighting, or people who take advantage of the feeling of fandom spaces being safe and friendly. I tend to trust people within the fandom, I like living in a world where it's rewarding to trust people, and I spend too much of my work time needing to pick fights to want to do that in my spare time. But I've started to feel more uneasy on Tumblr specifically because of some people. Thankfully only very few, but still. This is why I've turned off anon comments. This is also why commissions won't be opening up again for the forseeable future.
Like many other fanfic writers, I work several jobs. Like many other fanfic writers, I'm disabled. I'm not saying this because I want sympathy; I'm saying it because I want people to understand what it takes to continue to write and publish fanfics like so many of us do. I write because it's my favourite hobby - it makes me happy and I love it. What I love even more is the friends I've made because of it. I love how I've found people to be silly with, to be honest with, to be safe with. Fandom spaces have been - and are to an extent still - the only space where I've been able to fully express myself.
For that, thank you.
Here's the rule I want for my online spaces: if you don't have anything nice to say, be quiet and find something you like instead. If you dislike an author or their work, simply leave it alone. If you want more of something I've written, that's awesome, of course you're allowed to tell me you want more. But if I don't respond right away, be okay with that. Sometimes requests can feel pressuring; other days they feel uplifting. I promise never to be rude about a well-meaning comment, if you promise not to leave rude comments.
I want to post more on here. I want to talk to you guys more. And most of all, I want to trust that everyone who messages me wants us to be friends.
If you want the same thing, you're welcome to stay. If not, the internet is a big place. You're free to find a space that doesn't include me.
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Can I get a nervous Foxiyo mistletoe request please? <3
Thanks for the request! This was only my second time writing Foxiyo, so I was pretty excited and definitely wrote more than I had planned! 💙
It's also here on AO3.
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Fox hated the Republic Senate’s annual holiday party. Actually, he hated any event that required him to wear something other than his armor.
As usual, the nat-borns didn’t understand and, if they spoke to him at all, he would receive some form of, “It must be so nice to be out of your armor for once.”
Those comments alone demonstrated just how little nat-borns knew about the clones. Armor was protection from more than just physical attacks. It shielded the clones from the scrutinizing eyes of the very people they were assigned to guard. With his helmet on, Fox could almost disappear in plain sight; just another member of the Guard doing his duty and staying out of the way.
Now, though, in a black tuxedo with a red collared shirt and nothing to obscure his face, Fox felt vulnerable. Of course the senators and other distinguished party guests knew what a clone looked like, but now they could see him . They could see the gray that flecked his hair and the scar that stretched across the bridge of his nose. The things that set him apart. The things for which they could recognize him in the future, if they had a motive to do so. Those motives were seldom good.
Having his face on display also meant that Fox had to maintain firm control over his facial expressions. Regardless of what went on around him, he couldn’t allow himself to grimace or roll his eyes or curl his lip with disgust when one of the pompous guests inevitably made a demeaning comment about himself or one of his brothers. Fortunately, Fox had mastered the art of keeping a straight face long ago, as a cadet on Kamino when the security of his helmet had not been an option.
So as the holiday party began, the commander maintained his projection of professionalism as he scanned the celebration around him. He had chosen a secluded corner of the banquet hall, from which he could observe the majority of the crowd. His amber eyes scanned the hoard of sentients that filled the open space. Nothing seemed to be amiss at the moment. The senators and other party guests had begun scarfing down food, chattering loudly to those nearby, or doing both at the same time. Nothing new there.
Then a flash of blue and lavender caught Fox’s eye. Before he could stop himself, his gaze had fixated on Senator Riyo Chuchi, who had just entered the hall. She wore a sleek, but professional, maroon dress and her hair, rather than being pinned back in one of her usual golden hairpieces, hung loose around her shoulders.
It wasn’t the first time Fox had found his attention drawn to the Pantoran senator. She was beautiful; anyone could see that. She was intelligent, though he supposed all of the senators were or at least pretended to be. What stuck out most, however, was that she was kind to everyone, even the clones.
Suddenly Riyo’s gold eyes met Fox’s amber ones and his heart rate instantly doubled its pace. Normally he would have his helmet on, so the senator wouldn't be able to see those moments when he was helpless not to stare at her. But now she’d spotted him.
Her lips pulled into a sweet smile and then she was pacing towards him. Fox quickly averted his gaze and forced his eyes to scan the room in front of him again. If anyone laid eyes on him now, he was nothing but a loyal guard; calm and professional. No would be able to see the sweat that had suddenly beaded on the back of his neck or hear the way his heart thudded harder with each step Riyo took towards him.
“It’s good to see you, Fox,” Riyo said warmly, halting her stride directly in front of him. A tiny part of him had hoped that she wouldn’t recognize him—he did almost always wear his helmet around her—but of course she knew who he was.
“You too, Senator,” he responded, his voice a bit more rigid than he intended.
“I’m sorry you couldn’t wear your armor,” the senator continued. “I’m sure you would have been more comfortable.”
It took Fox an extra heartbeat to respond. He had never expected a nat-born to understand the security the clones felt while wearing their armor, but if anyone would understand, of course it would be her.
“Thank you, Sen-”
“Riyo!”
A cheerful voice cut Fox off and he glanced up to see that Senator Padmé Amidala had materialized from the crowd.
“Padmé!” Riyo turned to greet her friend. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me too, though don’t let me interrupt.” Padmé’s brown eyes sparked as she directed them towards the ceiling above Fox’s head.
Both Riyo and Fox followed her gaze to the green plant that hung between them.
“You know the rule. If you’re caught under the mistletoe, you have to kiss.”
Before either could respond, Padmé winked and turned to trot away back into the crowd. Fox might have noticed the way General Skywalker suddenly appeared beside her and the way she didn’t hesitate to hook her arm through his, but he was too distracted by her words.
Padmé’s statement alone had sent heat crawling up Fox’s neck, threatening to color his cheeks to match his shirt. Then he turned his gaze back to Riyo and blinked with shock when he saw that her face was already flushed a deep purple. Was she standing closer to him than before?
“Sorry about that,” Riyo muttered, averting her gold eyes. “We don’t have to abide by that tradition.” Despite her words, he thought he saw her take another half-step towards him.
“Right.” Fox quickly cleared his throat when his voice once again came out rougher than he expected. “I’m sure it doesn’t apply to clones anyway.” He barely registered the way his own foot shifted forward as he spoke.
“I mean, it could.” Suddenly, Riyo was standing so close to him that she had to tilt her head upwards to meet his eyes again. “If you wanted it to.”
“That’s, uh,” his voice was still coming out softer than usual, so he leaned down slightly towards her, “something I’ll have to think about.”
“I hope you do.”
He could feel her breath on his lips now and when he inhaled, he drew in the lavender scent of her perfume. Suddenly all coherent thoughts vacated Fox’s mind; his nerves, his hesitation, his common sense, everything.
He closed the gap between their lips.
Fox had never kissed anyone before, but somehow his body knew what to do and he found he had no control over it. One hand lifted to cup Riyo’s jaw, while the other curled around her waist and pulled her against him. He felt her gasp and he nearly stepped back, but then she was leaning into him, pressing her soft chest against his and hooking her arms around his neck. Maybe there were benefits to not wearing armor, after all.
The kiss only lasted a few more seconds before they broke apart and he took a step back, reluctantly retracting his hands from her face and hip. Then they spent another several heartbeats staring into each other’s eyes, still frozen in the moment they had just shared.
Fox was first to snap out of his daze and he quickly glanced around to see if anyone had noticed the commander of the Coruscant Guard kissing a senator. Miraculously, no one appeared to be looking their way. All he could think was that the rest of the party guests were too wrapped up in their own engagements to notice or care about two people in a far corner taking part in what was apparently a holiday tradition.
When he glanced back at Riyo, she had composed herself as well, though the purple still lingered on her cheeks.
“It was good to see you, Fox,” she said, looking up into his eyes one more time.
“You too,” he responded, without thinking.
The senator flashed him one more sweet smile before her professional mask fell back into place and she turned to make her way back into the crowd.
Fox had to harness every bit of discipline he possessed to focus on his duty for the remainder of the night. Once again, he was a soldier on the outside, but his insides couldn’t stop vibrating as thoughts of Riyo repeatedly rose to the forefront of his mind.
He didn’t mean to, but his gaze kept finding her in the crowd. More than once, when his amber eyes locked on the senator, his heart would skip when he found that her gold orbs were already staring back. Despite his lingering nerves, he couldn't deny the exhilaration that sparked through his veins each time their eyes met across the room and his mind flew back to their kiss.
Maybe not wearing armor really wasn’t so bad, after all.
--
The Mistletoe Drabble requests are still open! Review the pairing and prompt options here, and send in an ask!
#misty's mistletoe drabbles#foxiyo#commander fox#riyo chuchi#my writing#star wars#star wars fanfiction
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Fic writer interview thank you for the tag @481boxboxbaby and @souvenir116
Tagging @saviour-of-lord and @ilyarozanove (not sure if you have been tagged already and no pressure if you don't like tag games!) and anyone else who wants to do this feel free to use this as your invite.
How many works do you have on AO3? 155 - Wow okay I don’t know how I ended up writing so many.
What's your total AO3 word count? 1,076,320
What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 1. Preloved 2. Good Boy 3. A million times over 4. Weak 5. My Pretty Princess
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I try to respond to comments and I have gotten a lot better at it. If I have ever not responded it's because I have left it too late and then panic over whether it's still appropriate to respond!! I read all comments though, it’s the biggest motivator so thank you to everyone who leaves comments on fics, I appreciate you all <3
What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? Either ‘One last night’ or ‘Hitching a ride’ Both are open ended though.
What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?There are a lot that have happy endings but off the top of my head I will go with ‘A million times over’. It’s just an overall short cute one-shot.
Do you write crossovers? No
Have you ever received hate on a fic? If I have then I have forgotten about it because I can’t recall any hate coming in. I am sure there are plenty of people who hate my stories though, I’ve just been lucky they haven’t told me about it!
Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes I do and lots of it. Almost any kind. Dom/sub, pain play, tentacles, omegaverse, lots of kinks, nice soft sex, loss of virginity. I would definitely say varied!
Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not stolen but hmmm I have seen something very close to what I have written.
Have you ever had a fic translated? No, not that I have seen anyway. I have had people ask before but I am not sure if they ever actually translated them.
Have you ever co-written a fic before? No but I have spoken about it with @481boxboxbaby unfortunately I am disastrously disorganised so I don’t know if I should really inflict that on other people 😂 I do think it would be fun to have a fic with a set up and then multiple authors taking a chapter each to write the scenario from various drivers points of view. That would take a lot of organising though.
What's your all-time favorite ship? Lestappen
What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?There are so many of them, I have a folder full of random wips that will likely never be finished. At the moment I am fighting my way to try and finish a cowboy Max au one shot, I have started it and deleted it soooo many times, I will finish it though, it’s just not clicking right now!
What are your writing strengths? I guess maybe just having a certain level of creativity when it comes to coming up with ideas. That can also be my downfall because there are too many ideas pinging around for me to concentrate on one!
What are your writing weaknesses? I always say that my writing style is more about a general vibe rather than it being grammatically correct 😬
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I’ve personally never done it. I’d have to use google translate and I wouldn’t trust that it would read properly.
What was the first fandom you wrote for? F1
What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?Charles/Oscar or Max/Rico Verhoeven. I will get around to writing them eventually
What's your favorite fic you've written? It’s probably recency bias but the fic I am writing and posting right now “Preloved” is probably my favourite. I think it's also super encouraging when people are commenting and enjoying the story so it has made the whole thing more enjoyable. I will definitely be writing some more multi chaptered fics going forward. Of the one shots maybe The Sweetest Deal because it plays into my love of babygirl Max.
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Life Eternal (last part)
Can you feel me longing for you forever and ever?
Larissa Weems x Fem!reader
A/N: Well, this story has finally come to an end. Thank you to everyone who’s been following since chapter one, I loved reading your comments of pure anguish and despair. It took me a (long) while to decide how I wanted to end this fic, I hope you’ll enjoy reading it. Here’s the song mentioned in this chapter, which I recommend listening to (I swear I’m not trying to turn y’all into The Cure fans…unless…). Thank you again, enjoy!<3
AO3 link in title
She couldn’t know. It was impossible, you knew it was impossible for someone to remember once their memories had been erased. Unless… No. No, this was just fate messing with you, it was life sticking its middle finger right into your face.
You should have declined. You should have pushed the drink away and get out of the bar. But you didn’t. If life wanted to mess with you, then so be it. What did you have to lose, anyway? Larissa didn’t remember you.
So you found yourself picking up the glass, your legs moving on their own accord as you walked towards the tall woman.
“Hey!“ You pushed a small smile as you sat down on the stool next to hers.
“Hey, I’m Larissa!” She offered her hand and you shook it, introducing yourself in return.
“I don’t do this very often,” she said, gesturing around with her hand. “Going out to bars, I mean. It’s not that I don’t want to, but I don’t have much free time with my work. And I’m rambling now.” she chuckled softly. “I suppose what I’m trying to say is that I didn’t know if this was the right approach, buying you a drink. That’s what people used to do when I was younger.”
“Well, a free drink is always welcome.” You joked. “Unless it’s from some creepy old man. In which case, it’s never welcome.”
Larissa laughed, hiding her mouth behind her hand like she always did.
“Tell me more about you.” You said as if there was anything she could tell you that you didn’t know already.
You listened to the tall woman telling you about her life, your chin resting on your hand. You could feel yourself melt at the passion and the sparkle in her eyes when she talked about her work at Nevermore. She told you it was a school for outcasts and asked if you knew what that meant, to which you simply nodded and took a sip of your drink.
It had always been hypnotising, the way she moved her hands around as she talked. Her mouth spread in a wide smile as she told you about the last Outreach Day, her crooked bottom teeth peeking out from behind her lip. You almost wished you had found a way to erase your memory too, just so you could fall in love with her all over again.
“Jericho, you said?” You tilted your head. “It’s a bit far from here, isn’t it? You don’t have nice bars over there?”
“Well, to be completely honest, a former student recommended me this place. She said it was quiet and it would do me some good to be away from Nevermore, at least for a weekend while it’s the summer break.”
A former student, of course. Enid. I swear you won’t live to see another full moon, you traitorous fur-bag.
“I never thought I’d be taking recommendations from Wednesday Addams. But here I am, and I’m glad I did!”
Wednesday?!
You choked on your drink, turning away from Larissa as you coughed a few times.
“Are you alright?” Larissa’s hand gently rubbed your back and you had to close your eyes for a second, her electrifying touch sending a jolt through your veins.
You nodded and cleared your throat, almost letting out a whine at the loss of the woman’s warm hand on your back.
“I’ve been rambling about myself for half an hour, how about you tell me more about yourself ?” Larissa emptied her glass and gestured for the bartender to pour her another one.
“There isn’t much to say about me, really. I finished high school six years ago and tried university but it wasn’t for me. Currently working at a small coffee shop downtown but god knows how long that will last. I’m sorry, I’m not as interesting as you are.” You shook your head and looked down.
And then her hand was on yours, giving you a gentle squeeze that had your breath hitching in your throat.
“Don’t say that. It’s not easy to find what makes us vibrate, what makes us want to get out of bed in the morning. Everything takes time.” She gave your hand another squeeze before letting go. “And do you come here often?”
“I suppose it depends on what you call often? Once a week, usually.” You shrugged, realising how pathetic that sounded.
“And you come here looking for…?”
“I’m not even sure, to be honest. I guess I come here trying to forget some things. It doesn’t help though, and I keep coming back like an imbecile.”
“Mm, trying to mend a broken heart then?” Larissa’s fingers carefully took hold of your chin and raised your head so you’d look at her.
You were grateful for the song changing in the background right at that moment. You could tell Larissa immediately recognised it, as you did, by the way her eyes widened.
“I love The Cure!” She said, her ruby lips stretching in a wide smile.
I know. I haven’t forgotten.
“So do I!”
Truth was, you hadn’t listened to them in over a year. But of course one of their songs would play right when Larissa found her way back to you.
So, we meet again and I offer my hand
All dry and English slow
Larissa offered you her slender hand to take and you didn’t think twice before grabbing it, letting the woman pull you towards the small dance floor.
And you look at me and I understand
Yeah it's a look I used to know
Three long years and your favorite man
Is that any way to say hello?
And you hold me like you'll never let me go
You were hypnotised, entranced by the way she danced to the music. You had asked her once if she had always been so diligent and she had nodded, telling you that she’d always been a studious and dedicated student except for the few times where her roommate had managed to drag her to a bar downtown.
You imagined a younger Larissa, drink in hand and dancing to some new wave song with her roommate. Is that where she had learnt to dance like this?
Larissa spun you around and wrapped her arms around you from behind, pulling you flush against her body.
I miss you, I miss you, I miss you
I miss you, I miss you, I miss you so much
The older woman whispered the lyrics near your ear, the hair on your neck sticking up as her breath hit your skin. You wondered then if she knew. If by some miracle - or curse - she had found a way to remember.
You couldn’t resist closing your eyes and letting Larissa sway you from side to side, her arms tightly wrapped around your body and her lips dangerously close to your pulse point.
But how many times can I walk away and wish, if only
How many times can I talk this way and wish, if only
Keep on making the same mistake
Keep on aching the same heartbreak
I wish if only, but if only is a wish too late
It pained you how accurate it all was. How many times you wished you had told her the truth. How many times you regretted running away, making the same mistakes again and again. You wished, if only.
The song came to an end and Larissa held you a little longer before eventually letting go, spinning you around and biting her lip as the two of you locked eyes.
“I think I’d like to go home with you.” She whispered, the dim light doing nothing to hide the blush that crept on her cheeks.
Oh. Oh.
“Larissa, I don’t think…Fuck-“ You rubbed your hand over your face, trying to find the right words.
“Oh, god. I misread the signs, didn’t I? I’m sorry, I really did think you were interested-“
“I am!” You cut her off. “You didn’t misread anything, I’m interested. It’s just-“
“It’s the age gap, right?” It was her turn to cut you off. “Listen, I can make myself appear younger.” She blurted out “I told you about Nevermore. I’m an outcast too, a shapeshifter.”
“What?!” You scoffed. As if you would ever want her to shapeshift into anything else than what she was right now.
Larissa’s eyes widened and she froze looking like a deer caught in the headlights. She had told you too much. She shouldn’t have mentioned her abilities, you looked absolutely horrified about her admission.
“Come with me.” You said, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the door.
Larissa had just enough time to reach her arm out and catch her bag from the stool as you pulled her outside.
“I don’t live too far, we’ll walk. The fresh air will do us some good.” You said, walking down the street with Larissa by your side.
You were halfway to your house when you realised that you had not let go of her hand, that her fingers were still intertwined with yours and she didn’t seem to mind. It felt so right to be walking home with Larissa, holding hands like lovers did. And yet you couldn’t ignore the dreadful feeling of guilt that pulled in your stomach. It wasn’t right to do this, to lie to her like you were doing right now. What if this went too far? You couldn’t take advantage of her like this, you would never.
“I hope it’s not too messy inside.” You joked awkwardly as you unlocked your front door and pushed it open. “You can take your shoes off if you’d like, I can’t imagine it’s comfortable to walk around in heels all day long.”
The woman nodded and slipped out of her shoes, placing them by the door. She followed you deeper into your flat and looked around, smiling at the decor.
“It’s cozy.” She said. “It looks like you, very fitting.”
“Thanks, I guess?” You chuckled and watched her sit down on your couch as you poured two glasses of water.
“So…” She started when you sat down next to her, placing the glasses on the table. “I don’t usually do this. I already told you that I don’t go out much, nor do I have sex with people I’ve just met, but there’s something about you…”
Larissa’s hand had landed on your knee and moved higher as she spoke, her fingertips rubbing soothing circles on your thigh. She moved her free hand to cup your cheek and pulled you closer, finally allowing herself to press her lips on the expense of your neck.
“Fuck-“ you breathed out, feeling your willpower slipping through your fingers.
You had dreamt of this moment for so long, imagined her lips on your skin so many times. All you had ever wanted was there in your arms, years of yearning and longing finally being rewarded. But you couldn’t let it happen, and you knew it.
“Larissa-“ You carefully held onto her shoulders and gently pushed her away from you.
Don’t look at me like that, please. If only you knew. You’re all I’ve ever wanted, and you’re all I can never have.
“We can’t! I can’t…Trust me, Larissa, you don’t want to do this with me.” You said looking into her eyes, hoping she would accept it without further explanation.
“You don’t know what I want.” Larissa breathed out and the next second her lips were crashing onto yours.
The world around you faded into oblivion as you tasted Larissa’s lips and she tasted yours. You eventually dared to reach for her, your hand craving to hold onto her waist when the older woman suddenly recoiled as if she had been burnt.
And you could immediately tell by the look on her face that she remembered. She desperately searched for your eyes, silently seeking an answer to the memories that had just gushed into her mind.
“I can explain.” You whispered, holding your hands out in front of you.
Larissa’s body visibly tensed and for a second you thought she was about to scream at you, half expecting her to slap you as well. But that wasn’t Larissa. She had never raised her voice at you, you weren’t even sure she had it in her. Instead, the woman opened her arms and pulled you in a tight hug that had you burst into sobs.
“I’m so, so sorry-“ you sobbed loudly, slumping into Larissa’s arms and gripping onto the fabric of her blouse to keep her close.
Larissa stayed quiet, her chest heaving up and down as she buried her face in the crook of your neck, trying to process the thousands of thoughts and emotions that ran through her.
“We should have talked this out.” She eventually said when you had calmed down.
She pulled away from you and brushed your tears away with the pad of her thumb.
“I was so scared to lose you.” You admitted, your lips dangerously wobbling once again. “I was so scared that you would forever be disgusted by my feelings for you, that you would kick me out of your life. I was horrified that you might think our friendship was based on lies, because it wasn’t! You were the most important person in my life. I was so terrified at the thought of losing you that I willingly chose to evict myself from your life, and your memory.”
Tears dropped from Larissa’s eyes and rolled down her cheeks, ending their path on the woman’s lips. She shook her head a little and cupped your cheek.
“Your feelings for me are anything but disgusting, do you hear me?” She said. “You should have let me speak, perhaps you would have found that my feelings weren’t very far from yours.” Larissa admitted, fighting against the little voice in her mind screaming how unprofessional this was.
“Are you saying-“ Your mouth dropped open and you were unable to say anything else.
“Yes, I am.” Larissa nodded. “I know I shouldn’t, you used to be my student and I was your principal. I feel like this could be seen as me taking advantage of you, and I would never want anyone to think that.”
“You’re not! You’re not taking advantage of me, Larissa. You have never, not once, said or done anything inappropriate. Please-“ you pleaded and took her hands into yours.
“Why do I remember? I thought erasing memories was irreversible, so why did it all come back?” Larissa asked, eyebrows knitted together.
“It is irreversible, unless…” You chuckled and shook your head. “Look, there isn’t any non-cheesy way to say this so I’ll just say it. It’s irreversible unless you receive a true love’s kiss. I know how corny that sounds, trust me.”
“So that means…”
“That your soul and mine belong together, yes. But it doesn’t mean it has to happen. You will still be able to find love somewhere else, to fall for someone who isn’t me. All it means is that your soul matches mine.” You explained, readying yourself for rejection.
“I would be a fool to find my soulmate and decide to run from them, don’t you think?” Larissa whispered, her lips pulling in a small smile. “If you’re still interested in me, in being with me…”
“Yes, yes of course I am!” You answered without needing to think about it. “We will take it as slow as you want.”
“As slow as I want? I was practically throwing myself at you all night long.” Larissa laughed, a blush creeping up her chest and face.
“Yeah, well, it feels nice to know I’m the kind of woman you’re interested in.” You grinned and she gently nudged you before pulling you into another hug.
“I love you, Larissa.” You whispered in her ear, her arms squeezing you a little tighter.
“I know,” she said. “I love you too.”
—
The first rays of sunshine seeped through your curtains, hitting you straight in the face. You slowly blinked awake and turned your head to avoid the light, smiling at the sight of the woman asleep next to you.
Naked, with her mouth slightly agape and her silver curls spread on her pillow, Larissa was a vision.
Your eyes fell on the golden band that adorned her ring finger, which matched yours. You still had no idea how you had gotten lucky enough to call a woman like her your wife.
You closed your eyes, lips spreading in a soft smile as you recalled your wedding first dance. You had held onto each other, as you always did, and gently swayed along to the music, your lips near her ear whispering the lyrics.
Can you hear me say your name forever?
Can you see me longing for you forever?
Would you let me touch your soul forever?
Can you feel me longing for you forever and ever?
If you had life eternal?
————————————————————————
tag list: @h-doodles @enchantressb @kaymariesworld @lady-dimimi @milfdilf @katie-bennet @readingtheentrails @willowshadenox @dingdongthetail @m1lflov3rrr @wexrdaurx @wifeymaterialsstuff @giogwensversion @lils-cards @theonefairygodmother @rosieathena @inthemoonsea @sarahpaulsonsoftie @smutuniversesblog @mysteriouslysapphic @pro-weems-places @yourlocaldisneyvillain @rowboat-races @bigolgay @weemswife @bychrissi @pluied-ete @opheliauniverse @principal-weems09 @weemssapphic @kimiinou @winterfireblond @saintsvixen @simpsforwomen @eveymay @i-love-nerdy-stuff @slightlymalicedme @fictionalized-lesbian @renravens @emilynissangtr @almaperegrinespipe @inlovewithalcinadimitrescu @rosiexweil @danisogay @a-queen-and-her-throne @gwenweems @sugipla @amateurwritescm @non-binary-frogking @blessmysouljessisonaroll @plutolocks @on-an-egotrip
#gwendoline christie#larissa weems#larissa weems x reader#principal weems#larissa weems x y/n#larissa x reader#no beta we die like larissa
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I wasn't expecting you 3/5
Chapter Summary - Welcome, Crowley
Crowley spends his first evening at the pub with the other shopkeepers on Whickber Street, and thanks to the meddling of some of them, gets to know the bookseller better.
Notes
I'm back from my holidays and ready to continue the story of the barista and the book seller.
As you can see, I've added one chapter to the total, because the last chapter needed to be cut.
On Ao3
Rating G - 1872 words
Chap 1 - Chap 2 - Chap 3 - Chap 4 - Chap 5
Crowley took a deep breath and opened the door of the Dirty Donkey. He wasn't the shy type, but experience had taught him to be cautious, and it had been a long time since he had sought the company of others who had often disappointed him.
However, this was the first time in a long time that he'd been welcomed into a group without having to make an effort to be friendly, so he decided to give it a try.
Not to mention a bookseller who had more than piqued his interest.
When the barista entered the crowded pub, he immediately looked around for Nina or any other member of the group that was supposed to be there, and of course the first thing he noticed was the tuft of tousled pale hair.
Then his eyes were drawn to Nina waving at him, and he saw that everyone was already there. Noticing that they all had a drink in front of them, Crowley stopped at the bar to order a glass of Talisker and, glass in hand, made his way to the table.
As he approached the group, Maggie pushed herself aside to give him a seat between Aziraphale and herself.
She pulled out a chair and patted it, saying, "Crowley, come and sit here!"
Crowley put his glass on the table and said gently, "Thanks, but you didn't have to bother."
Mrs. Sandwich, or rather Rosie as she had almost ordered him to call her, chuckled before replying, "Don't worry about it, darling. The two lovebirds are just happy to be closer."
As he sat down, he saw that Maggie and Nina did indeed look happy to be closer as they intertwined their hands. Then his eyes went around the table and he said to the group, "Hello everyone."
A concert of greetings and welcoming words answered him, making him feel more and more at ease, despite the fact that a week ago he didn't even know anyone.
When the general chatter died down, Nina raised her glass and said in a loud voice, "I'd like to propose a toast to Crowley. You know how much of a pain in the ass I can be..." she paused as there was some snickering around the table, then continued, "Yes, yes, I do, and yet Crowley rose to the challenge with flying colors, so that deserves a first round, it's on me!"
Everyone offered their own little comment, from light-hearted digs at Nina's temper to praise for his new employee's patience. Crowley listened and watched, smiling and sipping his drink, nodding from time to time.
Suddenly, Aziraphale's hand resting on his arm snapped him out of his thoughts as the bookseller leaned over and said kindly in a low voice, "They can be a little overwhelming sometimes, but they're all very nice. And I can see they appreciate you already."
Crowley nodded and replied in the same tone, "It's been a long time since I've been among such open and... welcoming people, it's a little strange..."
Aziraphale asked gently as he removed his hand from Crowley's arm, "We're all a bit special here in a way, but do you mean strange in a good way or a bad way?"
Crowley smiled sweetly and replied, "Good. I think I could get used to it."
Aziraphale clinked his glass against his and said softly, only for Crowley's ears, "I hope so. Welcome here."
Again, something passed between them, indefinable but very much there, as Crowley replied almost in a whisper, "Thank you."
Without breaking eye contact, each took a sip from his glass and smiled.
However, the moment of grace was short-lived when they were interrupted by Aziraphale's other table neighbor, Mr. Brown, who moved closer to Aziraphale and said in a loud voice for the entire table to hear, "I couldn't help but overhear part of your conversation and I couldn't agree with you more, Aziraphale, we're all a little bit special, here. But I have to say, Crowley, you are really special. I mean, that hair and especially those eyes. It's not natural, really, and-"
Aziraphale interrupted, exclaiming, "I think it's pretty!"
Crowley couldn't hold back a small gasp, which made Aziraphale realize what he'd just said. The bookseller coughed and stood up, saying, "I see everyone's glasses are empty, so the next round's on me, since my return seems to be one of the reasons for this little party. I'll order from the bar."
Before Crowley could respond, the carpet seller stood and added, "I'll help him."
Crowley watched them walk away, a little, a lot if he was honest, annoyed by Mr. Brown's kind of possessive behavior.
Then, as his gaze shifted to Aziraphale, he thought again of the bookseller's words.
"I think it's pretty!"
He'd heard a lot of things said about his distinctive amber eyes: strange, weird, freaky, fake. But to hear them described as pretty with such warmth in the voice, never.
"Awww, Crowley, your cheeks are as red as your hair!"
He couldn't help but touch his cheeks as he turned to Nina, who had just spoken when Rosie gave a thumbs up and said, "Go for it!"
Crowley muttered, "Go for it! Go for it! Looks like the other redhead here is already in the place."
Maggie, who was closest to him, heard him and said softly, "Oh, no, don't think so. You have no reason to be jealous. I'm the one who's known Aziraphale the longest, and he's never looked at anyone the way he looks at you."
Nina, Justine, Rosie, and even Mr. Arnold, the music store owner who didn't talk much, nodded in support of Maggie's words as Aziraphale and the carpet seller returned with the drinks.
What he didn't see were the winks they all shared.
Just as Aziraphale and Mr. Brown were about to sit down, Rosie stood up and said to the rug seller, "Let's change seats, I need to talk to your neighbor and it's not easy with someone between us, sorry Justine."
Justine, who was sitting between Mr. Arnold and Rosie, shook her head and replied, "That's good, because I wanted to talk to Arthur about new carpets for the restaurant."
Crowley met Nina's gaze as she winked at him and couldn't suppress a small laugh that went unnoticed as everyone took their seats. In the space of a week, he'd come to realize that Whickber Street was full of gossip and that everyone liked to meddle in each other's lives. He didn't usually like that, but he was beginning to realize that it was more about caring than meddling, and that was new, too. People who cared about him.
The atmosphere at the table calmed down a bit as Justine engaged the grumpy Mr. Brown in a discussion about a possible sale that brought a smile back to the seller's face, Rosie struck up a conversation with the placid Mr. Arnold, and Nina and Maggie were carrying on a discussion reserved for them alone, judging by the enamored looks the two women exchanged.
Crowley took a sip of his drink and, alcohol helping, couldn't help but ask the bookseller, "Do you really think it's pretty?"
Aziraphale's gaze was incredibly gentle as he replied, "I rarely say things I don't mean. I mean, yellow is my favorite color, my car is yellow, a lot of things in my shop have that warm hue, so of course I think your eyes are pretty."
Other than a throaty thank you, Crowley found nothing to say in response to Aziraphale's disarming honesty.
After a few seconds of silence, the other man asked, "So tell me, what made you want to answer Nina's ad?"
Encouraged by the bookseller's openness, Crowley had no desire to go down the road of pretense and half-truths, and replied with equal honesty, "I have no family or ties, and I've never stayed in one place long enough to form a bond. With my looks, people don't trust me easily, and-"
Aziraphale, listening to Crowley with his chin resting on his hand, interrupted, "You could have changed your look."
Crowley, sensing no judgment in the other man's voice or expression, shook his head and said, "And not be me anymore? Impossible."
Aziraphale, obviously approving of Crowley's answer, nodded and the barista continued, "After another professional disappointment, the chance of my path brought me here, and Nina's ad came at just the right time, as I was looking to settle down for something more permanent, something that would last. And icing on the cake, I seem to be accepted for who I am here."
Aziraphale replied quietly, "I'm delighted you've decided to put your bags down here, and if I may add, there's nothing to accept, you're fine as you are. At least for me."
Crowley replied, "Thank you. If I may say so, you're very direct."
"In my family, it was better not to say what was on your mind, and now that I'm free of that, I don't want to waste any more time on hypocrisy and pretense."
Crowley replied with a broad smile, "I like that."
In their own world, the two men continued to chat, oblivious to the knowing, affectionate glances of the conspirators around the table. There was another round of drinks, this time courtesy of Crowley, and the evening was well underway when they decided to leave the Dirty Donkey.
A few more pleasantries were exchanged and then everyone headed home. Aziraphale and Crowley watched in amusement as Nina and Maggie carried a drunken Mr. Brown home, and Justine waved to them before walking away, following in Mr. Arnold's footsteps.
Crowley turned to the bookseller and they looked at each other for a few moments in silence.
"So this is love, lalala lalala... So this is what makes life divine..."
They turned to Rosie, who had just hummed past them, and she turned back, waving her hand.
"Good night, boys."
Crowley chuckled softly, "They're not very subtle."
Aziraphale replied with a chuckle, "No, but I can't blame them, can you?"
Crowley looked intently at Aziraphale in silence before replying in a clear voice, "No. Not at all."
Aziraphale held out his hand and said gently, "Well, good night, Crowley, and see you tomorrow."
Crowley took the bookseller's hand and asked, confused, "Tomorrow?"
Aziraphale's smile turned mischievous as he replied, "Well, yes, for my pastry."
"Oh, you come to Nina's every day?"
Aziraphale shook his head.
"No, but I have a reason to now. Good night, Crowley."
Crowley, once again surprised by the bookseller's straightforward attitude, replied, "Good night, Aziraphale. See you tomorrow."
Aziraphale nodded, then walked away toward the bookshop.
Crowley followed him with his eyes for a while before heading for the coffee shop. When he reached the door, he put the key in the lock and couldn't help but look back at the bookshop one last time, only to see to his surprise that the bookseller had done the same.
Crowley waved one last time before entering his building, this time without looking back.
For the first time in a long time, he felt hope blossom within him, and he didn't stop himself from relishing it.
Tomorrow couldn't come soon enough.
_________
Still not beta'd
Still not my native language
Still hoping you'll enjoy this story 🥰
Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝
Ineffable Husbands masterlist : here
#good omens#aziracrow#ineffable husbands#ineffable boyfriends#aziraphale#crowley#good omens fanfiction#aziraphale x crowley#crowley x aziraphale#human au#alternate universe#Coffee shop AU
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Hi! So I’m new to the Tarlos fandom and you seem to be really nice… so if you could help me navigate this space I would be very grateful. So how’s the fandom what can I expect ? What are the accounts to follow?
I understand if you’re not available to answer and if it’s not your thing but thank you anyway.
HELLO! Welcome <3 This certainly is my thing - I'm always available and happy to answer any and all questions when it comes to Tarlos content.
First up, a warm welcome to the Tarlos fandom - we are happy to have you here! I expect that from your ask you have only recently watched the show. I hope you enjoyed :) Usual caveats apply - check tags, warnings, ratings etc. Not all blogs/fics/content is going to be for everyone, and that's totally okay!
Before I get into my rambling/screaming about how much I love other people and their work, I should also say that I never have enough time to consume all the Tarlos content that I would like to, and so this list can never capture every amazing person on this site. If you check out the #fic rec friday tag on my blog, you should find all the round ups for all past Fic Rec Fridays, where people from all over the fandom (and other fandoms!) recommended some truly amazing content.
Also shout out to @rmd-writes for letting me appropriate some of your own recs on a similar ask.
Fic Blogs:
I am, first and foremost, a fic writer and I will never be able to rec all of the talent in this fandom all by myself, but here are some of the people I have turned to on Ao3 over my last year or so of being here:
@liminalmemories21 @goodways @strandnreyes @reyesstrand @reyescarlos @sunshinestrand @iboatedhere @beautifulhigh @heartstringsduet @carlos-in-glasses @alrightbuckaroo @freneticfloetry @rmd-writes @bellakitse @howtosingit @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @catanisspicy @basilsunrise @chaotictarlos @thebumblecee @noxsoulmate @marjansmarwani @morganaspendragonss. THAT BEING SAID there are a lot of newer people in the fandom that I haven't yet had the chance to dive into and I'm SO sorry for that, but I look forward to reading nonetheless!!! Again, I'd recommend looking up the Fic Rec Friday round ups because they are much more fulsome than what I've got here, and I'm so sure I've forgotten people accidentally!
Source Blogs:
Here's a few places I go to for Tarlos/Rafa/Ronen news/content:
@911lsbts @rafaelsilvasource @ronenrubinsteinsource
GIFs/videos:
GIF/video makers are gods on this earth and here are just a few I adore (PLS I KNOW I'VE MISSED PEOPLE I'M SO SORRY):
@lutavero @guardian-angle22 @danieljradcliffe @maxbegone @strandtk @/tailoredshirt @angeltk @velvet-lnk @whattarush @chaotictarlos @tylerkennedys @rafael-silva @3416 @lonestardust
Fan Art:
Incredible talent I eat up:
@ambiguouspenny @fitzherbertssmolder @heartstringsduet (tagged above) @thebumblecee (tagged above) @angeltarlos @rafascosmic @fckingyrs @watmalik @birdclowns @thevenstar @reyeslonestar @thisbuildinghasfeelings
ANYWAY! I'm so sure I have accidentally omitted people because I'm doing this on the fly, so PLEASE don't feel bad if I didn't include you here (especially if you're a newer fandom member because I have been falling behind recently!) If you would like to drop some recs in the comments for this anon, that would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for your ask, anon! Any opportunity I get to rave about the amazing creators in this fandom, I will take it!
#911 lone star#tarlos#fic rec#fandom rec#gif rec#fan art rec#911 lone star rec#tarlos rec#tk strand#carlos reyes#ask#answered#anon ask
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Wille's Month - Freedom
day 23!! @youngroyals-events <3
Wille and Simon go out to enjoy a nice, summer day in town. Something is weird, though, and they can’t quite place what it is.
read below or on ao3 (G, 800)
Wilhelm was used to people staring at him. He’d gone his whole life that way; still remembers the first time he realized that his life was very different from his friends’ lives, and that not everyone had to walk out on fancy balconies in a suit at 6 years old and wave at crowds of cheering people. While he wasn’t necessarily okay with it – in fact, he rather hated it – he knew how to handle it.
Simon, on the other hand, was not used to it. He’d been unwillingly thrown into the spotlight first by August, and then for a second and third time by Wilhelm. What made it even worse was that the stares Simon got were unkind stares. They were judging and sneering, whispered gossip and smothered giggles.
So, now, despite the fact that Wille’s stepped down and it’s been years since the video and the speech, whenever they go out in public, Wille no longer knows how to handle it. He doesn’t mind the stares on him, but knowing it makes Simon uncomfortable, knowing his beautiful boyfriend pretends it doesn’t, makes Wille all the more nervous and angry. How dare they continue to gossip when they don’t even know Simon at all? How dare they make him hesitant to be in big crowds or, God forbid, anywhere near a royal monument?
He is never thinking about it directly, but the anxiety is always there bubbling in the back of Wille’s mind. So aware of Simon, always aware, and never wanting to cause him any more undue harm; which, that’s the problem, isn’t it? Even after all this time, it’s still Wille and his (former) royalty status that brought all this shit down on them.
It’s a gorgeous summer day, the sun finally out in full force after a rainy spring, and they’ve decided to go out to run a few errands and maybe have lunch at a park. At this point, it’s second nature for him to keep tabs on their surroundings, prepared to throw glares at anyone who dares look at Simon wrong for even a second. They make it to the main thoroughfare of shops without incident, though, and the worry fades to the background.
Simon looks absolutely radiant in the warm sunlight, blissful and smiling. They swing their hands between them as they walk, admiring the pretty window displays and commenting on the delicious smells coming from a bakery nearby. A street performer is playing the violin, and they drift over. Wille wraps his arms around Simon, and they sway there for a moment, enjoying the music and the gentle breeze. As they continue down the path, they pass a jewelry store and Simon eyes the rings in the window. When he turns and sees Wille’s giddy expression, he giggles and shakes his head. They already know; the promise is there. But, they have time. Not yet, but soon.
By the time they grab a few sandwiches and settle down on a park bench, Wille can still feel something weird wiggling under his skin. Glancing around, he doesn’t see anyone staring at them or any ill-disguised camera phones.
“Does today feel kind of weird to you?” Simon asks, looking over at him with a smear of mustard on his cheek. Wille reaches out to wipe it away, then sucks his finger into his own mouth to clean up. Simon smiles in thanks, then continues, “Not a bad weird. Like, today is lovely, but just kind of weird?”
Wille hums when Simon brings a clean hand up to rest against the back of his neck, fingers gently brushing the short hair there. “Yeah, I was just thinking the same thing. I don’t know what it is.”
They both look around for a moment, admiring the ducks circling in the pond before them. Somewhere across the way, a group of children laugh and chase each other through the grass.
“Oh my God,” Simon gasps out, grip tightening on Wille’s neck. He drops his sandwich onto the paper wrapping in his lap, and turns back to Wille, mouth open in shock.
“What?” Wille sits up straighter, scanning around them in fear.
“No one’s looking at us! No one’s been looking at us all day!” Simon exclaims, wide eyes still trained on Wille.
It can’t be. Wille looks at the groups of people around them, then thinks back to their walk through the shops. That feeling he’d had wasn’t anxiety, it was confusion.
“Oh my God,” Wille repeats.
Simon laughs joyously. “Are we finally irrelevant?”
Still not fully believing it, Wille continues to think. Not even the cafe attendant spared them a second glance when they’d ordered their sandwiches. They’d even asked Wille for his name for their order – Wille had never given his name for anything like that in his life.
A smile grows on his face, large enough to rival Simon’s. Finally, he looks back over at his beautiful, beautiful Simon, chest bursting with love and glee.
“No,” Wille says, shaking his head. “We’re free.”
#more post canon happiness#it starts a little not-so-fluff but becomes very intense fluff#just the boys being happy#willemonth2024#young royals#wilmon#yr fic#simon eriksson#wille eriksson#wmday23
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Hello! Do you have any advice on how to deal with the fear of bad-faith readers? Thanks to spending too much time online during Covid, my confidence took a huge hit, and now I’m quite worried about random online users discovering my writing and complaining that my writing is not good enough, not diverse enough, not social justicey enough, etc. It’s often made me hesitate a lot during my writing recently, so any advice to deal with this would be much appreciated. Thank you!
Fear of Negative Feedback/Reviews
Three things to keep in mind here:
#1 Reviews and comments aren't feedback. Unless you post your story to a place dedicated to writer feedback or where you're specifically asking for feedback, any commentary or review you receive is not there to educate you. It's either there as thanks and/or flattery, or it's there to let other readers know what to expect. On sites like AO3, for example, unless you specifically ask for concrit, you will probably only get neutral or positive commentary which isn't feedback. If you get negative comments, just ignore them if you didn't ask for them.
#2 Reviews are for readers. Let me say that again...
Reviews are for readers to let other readers know what they liked and didn't like about a book. They are not there for the author's harm or benefit. They're not there to educate the author. They're there for other readers, full stop.
Write the best story you can write, and if you can, utilize feedback tools meant for writers (alpha readers, writing groups, critique partners, sensitivity readers, beta readers, editors...) to ensure your story is everything you want it to be.
If your alpha readers, writing groups, critique partner/s, sensitivity readers, beta readers, or editors have concerns about representation in your story, those are the issues you need to address.
Once your story is out in the world, let it go, especially if negative reviews hurt your confidence and mental health. If you inadvertently do something terrible that blows up, listen, apologize, and take steps to do better next time. That's it.
#3 Everyone isn't going to love your story. All writers get bad reviews. If you expect to receive only glowing praise on every story, you're setting yourself up for disappointment.
Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes is a beloved classic that has sold an estimated 500 million copies worldwide since it was first published in 1605. Among the reviews on Amazon: "repetitive and frustrating," "book is trash, don't know why it's a classic," "I absolutely hated this book," "silly, lengthy, display of low humor."
A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens is another beloved classic, and it has sold an estimated 200 million copies worldwide since publication in 1859. Among the reviews on Amazon: "boring as heck," "incomprehensible jibberish," "has significant flaws," "great if you want a nice nap," "way too slow and boring."
The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien is a classic that is still very popular and beloved today, and has sold an estimated 100 million copies since its publication in 1937. Among the reviews on Amazon: "very slow paced and confusing," "I found it mind-numbingly dull," "the worst piece of writing ever," "zoned out because I was bored."
The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown is a hugely popular contemporary book that has sold an estimated 80-million copies worldwide since its publication in 2003. Among the reviews on Amazon: "One of the worst, if not THE worst book I've read, ever," "much ado about not much," "couldn't overlook the shallow characters, boring car chases, and general lack of quality," "unnecessary ramblings about scenery," "horribly written, full of cliches."
All stories have people who don't like them. Period.
It's something we have to accept as writers.
As long as we're doing our best to put the best possible stories out there, and as long as we listen and learn when legitimate concerns are brought to our doorstep, we're doing all we can.
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I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!
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fanfic author 20 questions!
I am late to the party, but i was tagged by @shadowquill17, thanks my love <3 <3
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
51
2. What’s your total AO3 wordcount?
162,166 total words! Not too shabby
3. What fandoms do you write for?
I've written for a bunch of fandoms, but these days it's mostly Dead Boy Detectives. in theory i have other fandoms, but none that i'm so feral for at the moment
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
all of them are DBD which is kind of astonishing to me, this fandom never ceases to amaze 1. after the insects have laid their claim 2. like breathing 3. terms of endearment 4. a certain step towards falling in love 5. you can throw a party full of everyone you know
5. Do you respond to comments?
yes, every single one, no matter how old the fic is! i might be a little slow or miss one every so often, but i really try hard to respond to every one i get. comments mean the absolute world to me, so i want to thank everyone who takes time out of their day to tell me they enjoyed my work <3 <3 i also LOVE when fanfic writers respond to me, so i assume other people do, too
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
i am an angst with a happy ending sort of bitch, but probably one of the fics i wrote during the Nothing Much To Do Radio Silence (TM) when we were all losing our minds with no updates. haven't read those in forever, so maybe Something to Do, Someone to Blame? or maybe it isn't cinema that i wrote for Nothing Like the Sun? or maybe Tropes for Keleidotrope?
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
gosh, so many. again, i write mostly happy ending stuff, so it's hard to pick just one. maybe my fourth favorite public building to visit, if i had to pick one that hasn't been mentioned already. though after the insects have laid their claim has a VERY happy and corny ending that i will forever be proud of haha
8. Do you get hate on fics?
no, thank goodness
9. Do you write smut?
yeah! i'm new to it, but it's a lot of fun
10. Do you write crossovers?
not usually, but i'll stick characters from one universe into a similar universe because something resonates (like Heartstopper Squared or The Quest of the Maddening Mace), but i don't usually write characters meeting or anything like that.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
not that i know of! *fingers crossed*
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
no, but if anyone wants to do so, just make sure to tag me in it and go right ahead!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
yeah! i have stuff in progress (that we haven't worked on in a while sorry @courfaeriedust) but i've also definitely written collabs that i've published, i think?
14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
Charles and Edwin from Dead Boy Detectives have such a special place in my heart, and I really hope this hyperfixation doesn't go anywhere, but in terms of pure longevity? Merlin and Arthur from BBC Merlin. I've been reading that shit for a decade. Special shoutout to Alex and Henry from Red, White, and Royal Blue, and Drew and Harrison from Keleidotrope, because I'm still insane about you all too, don't worry.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
THAT IS QUITTER TALK AND I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT. but to give a kind of cutesie answer, i'm not sure i'll ever be done with the libraryverse. there's so much story there, and i keep having ideas for it, so maybe i'll be able to keep playing in it forever. that would be kind of nice.
16. What are your writing strengths?
why are you making me say nice things about myself. why. overall, i think i'm good at dialogue. i actually wrote a whole manuscript in instant messages because i love writing dialogue so much. i'm pretty good at getting into characters' voices, whether they're my own or someone else's, and i find a lot of joy in writing everything from banter to flirting to meaningful conversations (but some of those are easier than others lol)
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
action, descriptions, things that aren't dialogue. i also tend to keep my writing kind of short, so i don't always allow for moments to breathe the way they should.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
woooooof the only other language i speak is hebrew (and not amazingly well) so probably not. if i ever got good enough at another language, maybe? but english is my first and by far my strongest language, so I don't think i'd ever be able to express myself well
19. First fandom you wrote for?
as far as i remember, Lord of the Rings. (no you will never find it.)
20. Favorite fics you’ve written?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE, THEY'RE ALL MY CHILDREN. how about this, you tell ME what your fave stories of mine are, because im tired of linking things. and because i thrive on praise lol
i am too lazy to tag people specifically, so anyone who writes fic is welcome to answer!
#lolotr writes#ask game#tag game#fafic#dead boy detectives#call me katie#nothing much to do#nothing like the sun#heartstopper#kaleidotrope#did i tag these fandoms just so people might be able to find smaller fandoms and participate? yes. yes i did
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
Thank you so much for tagging me, @nihil-ism 🖤
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
Currently 15.
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
9,329 - you see, my works posted so far are either shorter one shots or ficlets/drabbles.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
The Silmarillion and adjacent works by Tolkien. :) And within this fandom it's almost exclusively about rather niche ships with Mairon. Let's see when/if I will write for other fandoms; I'd love to at some point.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Of Gods And Monsters
Sacrificial
Plaything
Sugar
Sacred
All of these are Mairon/Ar-Pharazôn. lmao
5. Do you respond to comments?
I will respond to every single (first) comment someone leaves on a fic of mine. I thorougly enjoy these little interactions and I want to show my appreciation to people who show me theirs.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
That must be my double drabble Plaything I guess. At least if we talk about the very moment ending the fic. Throwing up from negative emotions and alcohol alike seems pretty... angsty.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
That must be Of Being Born and Little Deaths. Everyone (well...) is having a good time and it literally ends with an orgasm.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
So far I haven't and I'm very grateful for that.
9. Do you write smut?
I love writing smut. And I love weaving character analyses/studies and some poetry into it.
10. Do you write crossovers?
I don't, personally not a fan of crossovers.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Nope.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
I haven't, but sharing headcanons and ideas with others has endlessly inspired many of my fics.
14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
Angbang (Melkor/Mairon). I love them, I will never be over them; they've been with me for ten years now, I could ramble on forever about how important this ship is to me and what it means to me. It's rather popular in fandom though and I feel like there's many great writers out there who have graced us with their brilliant work. That makes me feel like I don't necessarily need to... add to that somehow. I'd love to write (more) Angbang at some point but as far as writing goes my favorite ship is Mairon/Ar-Pharazôn (which many of you might have guessed at this point lol). It's rotten, it's biblical, it's a playground for all things terrible to me. And it's a rarepair (why??) and therefore (in my mind) lies like a bare field before me, ready to sow and play in. 🖤
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
No such thing. My WIP are my children and I will not abandon them. It might take many months but they will see the light of day.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Building atmosphere, pretty lines, poetry, in some parts characterization. (Very) short formats are my strength in general.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Not really able to write anything plot-driven, sometimes dialogue (though I might have started to improve a little), prioritizing pretty imagery and rhythm/sound over meaning/sense sometimes, having difficulties writing longer stuff.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Not really my thing; could get awkard quickly imo.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Visual Kei bands (Moi dix Mois) when I was 14.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
Easily my little double drabble Reverence. It illustrates nicely what I talked about regarding my writing strengths for question 17 imo.
Tagging @lvsifer, @curufiin, @cilil, @saintstars, @gardensofthemoon, @elevenelvenswords , @crackinthecup , @swanhild , @a-world-of-whimsy-5 and @i-did-not-mean-to (no pressure ofc and sorry if I forgot anyone, in that case: that's just my forgetful brain at work)
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Writing Self-Evaluation 2024
thank you @haztobegood for tagging me! (also, since i'm also a Podficcer, this isn't solely about writing and has some podfic stuff mixed into it)
1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 100! (as of today)
2. Word count posted for the year: 44,393 (plus 441 minutes in Podfics)
3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction (Band), Deadpool (All Media Types), Spider-Man (All Media Types), Deadpool & Wolverine (2024)
4. Pairings: Louis Tomlinson/Harry Styles, Peter Parker/Wade Wilson, Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson
5. Story with the most: Kudos: tingling right from my head to my toes Bookmarks: Yesterday’s gone (it’ll be better than before) Comments: Yesterday’s gone (it’ll be better than before)
6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): i think it's actually tingling right from my head to my toes. i dug around my blog and found 'Writing Goals 2024' and one was to write for other fandoms (again). it took me almost all year, but i managed it!
7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): in some ways, i'm proud of all my works and thankful how they shaped me in their own way.
8. Share or describe a favourite review you received: this is not a specific review but i've had a couple people by now tell me how much they enjoy listening to my podfics (and how they find my voice soothing). that really means a lot and i'm happy people get that enjoyment out of my recordings
9. A time when writing was really, really hard: basically all year. i've been struggling a lot with writer's block and even though i was writing and posting, it felt like i lost my Spark™️.
10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: writing Logan (Worst Wolverine). beginning of the year i didn't even imagine to ever write Wade in another pairing besides SpideyPool but then i watched Deadpool & Wolverine and here we are XD
11. A favourite excerpt of your writing: this is from my fic for the @1daroaceficfest which i hold very close to my heart. i kinda hope that maybe some people remember that :)
“Not that it concerns anyone,” he started, a hard set to his mouth. “And I would really wish that people would start seeing actors as people and not just objects used like props in a film.” Harry took a deep breath, outwardly oddly calm for the way his heart was racing in the face of what he was about to do. “Furthermore, I’d like to remind everyone that some people don’t have sex. And while there can be different reasons for that, that only they and the people they choose to tell are privy to, in my case, it is because I am asexual. I don’t experience sexual attraction. And while I feel rather neutral towards sex, I still don’t have it. It’s just something I don’t experience. So please, the next time you want to ask someone about their sex life, stop for a second and ask yourself, do I really need to know this information, or am I just nosy? And then hopefully make the right decision.”
12. How did you grow as a writer this year: i like to think i kept a nice balance between trying to overcome my writer's block while also not forcing anything... and eventually found my Spark™️ again. i also got back into the SpideyPool/Marvel Fandom for which i ended up writing 3 fics.
13. How do you hope to grow next year: i really wanna try keep my Spark™️ and maybe even make it grow. also, i hope to actually plan out/write a longer fic again; i have so many amazing prompts that can't and don't deserve to get squeezed into 10K.
14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): massive, massive thanks goes to @harruandlou who patiently listened to me whine about my WB, kept encouraging me and celebrated with me, when i got back into the swing of things (and who supported me in pursues as a Podficcer!). i also wanna give a huge shout out to the Isn't It Bromantic? server and all those amazing people there (representative: @farmhandler @waterme-stories @babyboysnek)
15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: i don't think so? at least nothing i can think of top of my head...
16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: don't force anything. (especially in fanfic) writing is supposed to be fun. it's okay to take a break, focus on other hobbies for a while and every now and then poke at your brain to see if the motivation came back.
17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: as of right now, the only project i'm excited for is hosting the @1daroaceficfest for a second round!
18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.
tagging with no pressure (if you already did this, sorry and feel free to tag me so i can read it!): @lululawrence @harruandlou @lunarheslwt @enchantedlandcoffee @the-larry-way @parmahamlarrie
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this is all for the writer ask!!! :3 hope it's not too much >_<" answer the ones you're comfortable answering and don't force yourself to answer all of them if you don't want to! <3
🌵🥤🌻🍄📚 🍬🔪🥐🏜🦋🐝🧩
EHEHEHEHEHHE NEVER TOO MUCH THANK U SMMMMMM 🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love
i dont really listen to premade playlists, so ill link mine >:333 this is a playlist i made for a roadtrip to berlin, including all the songs i was listening to at the time, and ive since been adding new ones actively, so it's literally just a huge list of everything i love :D 🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love
first of all gonna plug my besties ofc @levi-dayne writes sick ass fics for death note @uriekukistan writes amazing itafushi angst (and not only :33) SENDING BOTH OF THEM SMOOCHES GO READ THEIR STUFF! and a fic that id read recently and LOVEDDD was all about love by fullvoid (@casgore on here :3) the yuuji characterisation broke my heart - it was a gutwrenchingly real way of depicting mental illness, and i loved seeing how different he acted around people vs alone. and it was super cool seeing a healed megumi helping yuuji rather than the other way around!!! HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!!!
🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis FIRST OF ALL U!!!!!! i love the mutual interactions THANK U FOR BEING HERE!!!! @alonelystargazer is very sweet and i interact with her pretty regularly i feel :3 THANK U FOR INTERACTING WINNIE!!!!<3 cant think of anymore rn but if i do i WILL edit this post TRUST 🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings
megumi likes penne but yuuji hates it so they always disagree over pasta shape if theyre making it for dinner. yuuji always wins bc his favourite is spaghetti and obviously everyone likes spaghetti so megumi doesnt bother fighting him on it 📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app?
HEHEHEHEH nervous. lets see "what kinda gay shit goes on around here when im not around" LMAO the choso x todo wip in action. what a quote thank u past me. you'll find out the context once i post it sjdhfgsjhfks
🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?
hmmmmm from random shit i think like. 1980s window designs in england lmaooo
🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh
answered here :333
🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?
ARRGRHRG ANY COMMENT. i get so excited u cant even imagine. i sometimes type 'AO3' in my gmail just to delude myself that i got a comment and get that little pang of joy seeing the notif 😭 my favvvv must be ones that quote certain lines tho bc then im like HEY!!!! I WROTE THAT!!!! U LIKED THAT??? DUDE UR NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS I WROTE IT
🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately
i feel like an everpresent topic ive had on my mind especially often for the last year is kindness. there's a multitude of things i could say, whether that's bashing people for lacking it, or get all teary over how beautiful it is (which!! it is!!!) but i think what ive recently discovered is that it's my only constant :3 when everything else goes wrong, that's all i have, and im really happy it's second nature to me (altho im still actively working on making myself better!!!!)
yeah, maybe everything sucks right now, but i know i can make someone else's day better :3 and often it makes things a little more okay to me too
🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them
RAHHGHG BESTIES. question for the bestiessss
@levi-dayne is so dear to my heart!!! such a sweet and kind person, who truly and deeply cares about others!!!! makes music, writes well AND ALSO DRAWS??!!! amazing and super talented person with super high ambitions too!!! SO SLAYFUL. what did i do to deserve such a slayful friend<333
@uriekukistan is one of the most naturally talented ppl i know!!!!! they write amazing fics, can DANCE super well, and took up drawing like 3 seconds ago and are already churning out really cool stuff on a fucking TOUCHPAD. ON THEIR LAPTOP. gofundme for rin graphic art kit when?? also ofc. a really good friend and very kind person :3333 <333
ILYSM BESTIESSSS
🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?
from a writing style perspective: first person and tense switches
from a content perspective: anything fucked up like noncon or incest....how tf are they often not tagged like??? or putting that at the bottom of the warnings list 😭 oh yea im far more concerned about swearing and underage drinking......
something im picky abt that sometimes annoys me enough to click off but i feel like it's just a weird personal preference is the overuse of alternatives to a characters name. so using "the brunette" like 5 times. just say his name!!!!! it's ok!!!!!
RAHHHHHH i usually reread my answers before i post but not this time. adios fuckers i dont remember what bullshit i wrote here but ur left with the consequences. if u wanna deal with even more of my terrible takes ASK ME STUFF
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Hit a nice round scary big number of kudos on ao3 so I'm gonna be sappy for a min. I fucking loved writing as a kid -- I wanted to be an author, bc ofc I did -- and I wrote ceaselessly, hundreds of thousands of words, both fanfic and original stuff. I would cram folded bits of plain paper in my pockets and write in tiny tiny handwriting on each side (bc you can fit so much more on the available space that way!) and I'd type in the shitty notes app of my cheap shitty smartphone once I got one and I went through countless notebooks and refill pads and what have you. Sixth form was very bad for me mental health wise and I burnt out really hard, and for a very very long time after I thought that was it. I couldn't get more than a handful of paragraphs done on something, at best, and I wasn't really happy with anything I was doing.
And then I played through a video game as a murderous demigod overflowing with religious guilt and, well, here we are. According to ao3 I have published 37.2k words in the past eight months -- not a whole lot, esp by other people's standards, but for me that is a staggering amount, esp for someone who has struggled a lot w writing anything at all for the past eight years.
I've never really been active in a fandom before (not that I really am now, I stay in my lil corner and you cannot make me leave) but I have made so many incredible friends over the past few months and I am so, so grateful to know you all.
To everyone who has liked my fics, thank you. To everyone who has commented, thank you. To everyone who has talked to me about my writing, about Labrys, about anything...I really cannot thank you enough. Things are still not great for me, honestly. But knowing that there people out there who enjoy my writing is wild, and I am so, so grateful to all of you. <3
#very tempting to undercut this with a funny haha cool guy joke to save face. but I will be vulnerable just this once#I love you all and I am SO unspeakably grateful to have met so so many wonderful people#I am tempted to quit like. almost every day lmfao#so if you have ever said anything nice about my writing: thank you. I love you.#ash.txt#ik everyone is moving onto da4 but I will still be here long after everyone has gone <3#there's So Much I want to write and I have tragically little time and energy#and I'm not naming names but SOME PEOPLE keep giving me new ideas lol#so#here we are and here we will hopefully remain <3
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