#people are so mean thank u for making me cry 🫶🏻

[the-scarlet-witch-22]

Kind of at rock bottom mentally speaking so I’ll be back at some point but I hope y’all are well 🫶🏻

[ajsljfe]

hiii!! Can you write a john b x reader in which she'd be anxious about something/or deals with anxiety frequently and he comforts her?? I think he'd be the best with that type of situation, he's the sweetest 😭😭 Thank u 🫶🏻

Ofc I can honey! 🎀

I’m sorry if it wasn’t completely what you wanted but i tried my best! 😊 (also sorry it’s short)

If anyone has any more requests then either send me a private message or request an ask! 🙏

You didn’t wanna be here.

You hadn’t even wanted to go in the first place but he had reassured you that he would only be there for a couple of hours and then you guys would leave and get whatever you wanted after.

It had been more than a couple of hours. It had been the whole night.

You sigh and look down at your phone anxiously for the time. 12:23am. Great.

You were tired and the room was getting hot. You were surrounded by a bunch of horny and sweaty teenagers/young adults who are more likely to be drunk.

He had left you for a few minutes so he could go talk to someone, again. Reassuring you that he would be back in a good few minutes. It had been almost 30 minutes. Half an hour. You were counting.

You felt lightheaded, stressed and felt like vomiting. The stress of the crowds and the constant drinks being shoved in your face by wasted teens was enough to make you break.

You wiped the tears that pricked at your eyes fast before setting off to find a bathroom. The first bathroom you opened some teens were making out, the second some were snorting some coke, third time lucky and you finally found an empty cubicle.

You swing the door shut before collapsing against it and try to even your breathing out. It was all too much. You went to wipe your forehead of sweat when there was a frantic knock at the door.

“Hey! You in there? Cmon open up for me.” It was John b.

You do as told and get up fast before composing yourself. “You alright?” He asks and you nod fast “yep. Fine and dandy don’t worry.” Accidentally sniffing and hoping he didn’t catch it.

“Oh baby. Cmere. You been crying?” He asks with a slight frown as he takes in your red rimmed eyes. You nod your head and feel fresh eyes fill your eyes.

“M’sorry..it- was all t-too much and you said you would be back in 2 mins but you never d-did.” You hiccuped as you buried your face in his neck while he wrapped his arm around your waist to comfort you.

“Hey. No need to apologise…I’m sorry for taking so long. I tired to leave but people just kept coming. I didn’t mean it. Forgive me?” He offers a small smile.

You hiccuped again. “Hey breathe. Cmon. In and out.” You followed his orders and feel your breath slowing down.

“There we go. There’s my girl. Next time you feel overwhelmed call me okay? You know I’ll never miss a call from you.” He smiles again as you nod and stare up at him with wide eyes and puffy lips from crying. “Or even. I’ll just take you wherever I go okay? Can’t leave my future wife all alone?” He says.

“Future wife?” You replied with a small giggle and a rub at your eyes before sniffling as he grabs a tissue due to your nose being blocked.

“Well yeah. You’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you.” He reassured you and you giggled again.

“Mm that’s true…” you say before pecking his lips. “Can we get ice cream now?”

“Mm baby I’m not sure there is gonna be any ice cream shops open at this time in the morning huh?” He replies as his grip tightens round you with a small peck to your forehead.

“Please?” You say looking up at him with those eyes he couldn’t resist.

He rolls his eyes jokingly. “Anything for my girl.”

[huellitaa]

bee's record player, june edition 🎀𓂃 ࣪˖

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 INTRO

and to go hand in hand with the may edition and a consolation for how late said may edition of bee's record player was, i present to you bee's record player, june edition! now this month has a LOT in terms of music so i won't stall any further; here is the VERY EARLY edition of bee's record player, june edition! <3 happy pride month lovelies! ♡

──★ ˙ ̟🎀NEW ARRIVALS

give me that, wayv

♡ released 3rd june, 2024

♡ extended play / EP

♡ best songs: not yet listened! ♡

♡ running time: 18 minutes 16 seconds

baby blue movie, cigarettes after sex

♡ released 4th june, 2024

♡ single

♡ running time: 4 minutes 5 seconds

coming home, beabadoobee

♡ released 5th june, 2024

♡ pre-release single

♡ running time: 2 minutes 16 seconds

please please please, sabrina carpenter

♡ released 6th june, 2024

♡ pre-release single

♡ running time: 6 minutes 1 second

na, nayeon

♡ released 14th june, 2024

♡ extended play / EP

♡ best songs: butterflies, heaven, magic

♡ running time: 22 minutes 29 seconds

never be yours, kali uchis

♡ released 21st june, 2024

♡ single

♡ running time: 3 minutes 16 seconds

supernatural, newjeans

♡ released 21st june, 2024

♡ single

♡ running time: 11 minutes 42 seconds

──★ ˙ ̟🎀BEE'S TRACKS: TOP 10

♡ 10. ultraviolence, lana del rey

never gets old honestly. lana ilysm my baby this song is my everything i actually cannot do this. if i die and dont come back to sing "yo soy la princesa " and the whole bridge yall know im dead sorry ab that 💔

♡ 9. complicated, avril lavigne

ONCE AGAIN. ABSOLUTE BANGER. CLASSIC. I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH AND IT'S SO RELATABLE RIGHT NOW TOO AVRIL ILY ILY ILY

♡ 8. my kink is karma, chappell roan

also very relatable right now,,, feeling like this ab several very specific people in or out of my life right now and it's so ridiculously accurate and such a banger and her voice is SO RIDICULOUSLY SATISFYING BRO EUUUHHHHSUEUJJJNNNNFFFFUUUEUU

♡ 7. i'll see you there tomorrow, tomorrow x together

YESSS THIS SOBG IS SO BACK WE'RE SO BACK ISYTT STANS RISE. THIS SONG IS SUMMER IDC. ITS JUST. OH KY GOSH. I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY I LJJJDJJUUEEUUHHHHH (translation: very good song! 🫶🏻💖)

♡ 6. gee, girls' generation

GEE GEE GEE GEE BABABAYAY GEE GEE EGEE GEE BABSBABAB this song is the EPITOME of 2000's girly girl kpop. it makes me feel SO girly and i ADORE girls generation. they're just silly girls making silly songs in the silly 2000's i adore them

♡ 5. naked in manhattan, chappell roan

OH MY GOSH. THIS IS MY FAVOURITE SONG EVER ATM U DONT GET IT. listening to this in a sapphic situationship hits different u guys don't get it. naked in manhattan is my religion . the lana and the mean girls ref make me foam at the mouth

♡ 4. femininomenon, chappell roan

HIT IT LIKE ROMPOMDPUM GET IT HOT LIKE PAOA JOHN MAKE A BITCH GO ON AND ON ITS A FEMININOKEMENON. woahhh chappell again are we surprised? no. my excuse is it's pride month fuck off leave me and my cunty lesbian pop alone. ANYWAY THIS SONG IS FOR THE CUNTY LESBIANS AND THE SEXY MANHATER GIRLS GO QUEENS WE LOVE YOUU

♡ 3. please please please, sabrina carpenter

HEARYBREAK IS KNE THING. MY EGOS ANOYHER. I BEG YOU DONT EMABRASS ME MOTHERFUCKER. the vibes this song has are immaculate and once again absolutely devoured the vocals and the retro style music is EVERYTHING brina PLEASE more of this !!! ♡ unpopular opinion espresso was TOP TIER GODLY HEAVENLY PERFECT but i enjoy this ever so sligjtly more. BITH ARE SO GOOD THOGH I CNAT

♡ 2. coming home, beabadoobee

comfort song. this song feels like coming home. it feels like being in disneyland or being at the top of a tower in the evening with the lamplights glowing and the streets bustling and the music playing and just taking a breath of fresh air and realising you're alive thank you for this beautiful masterpiece i'll never get over this bea. i might cry seeing this live honestly

♡ 1. good luck, babe!, chappell roan

this song saved my life watered my crops fed my children impregnated my children made me fall in love with the world again her vocals feel like i'm ascending to heaven i feel like i'm on shrooms i chappell roan i chap

──★ ˙ ̟🎀ALBUMS

♡ 1. rise and fall of a midwest princess, chappell roan

anddd second month strong, chappell stays on top!!!!!! somehow i've become even more obsessed with her than i was last month but we are not gonna talk ab it. it's pride month don't ask me !!!!!!!!!!!!

♡ 2. the name chapter: freefall, tomorrow x together

gone back to freefall lately because i can't believe we're out of freefall era and i miss it so bad. i love tomorrow so so so so so so much but i miss freefall too (+ growing pains is my everything esp bc of the concert videos that i'd kill a man to see live 💔 KAI KAMAL HUENING. I NEED YOU.)

♡ 3. ultraviolence, lana del rey

in honour of both my crippling summer depressive episode and mother's birthday on the 21st ultraviolence is back up at the top again! the glow up before and after listening to ultraviolence is insane idgaf

♡ 4. our extended play, beabadoobee

SHOOPDOOBDOODOABAODOO SHOOPSODOBADODOD OH YEAH SHOOP im so ridiculously excited 2 see this live

♡ 5. beatopia, beabadoobee

once again in honour of the bea concert in november we beatopia still remaining here which is quite a feat actually considering how much i listen to music GO BEA WOOO

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ARTISTS

♡ CHAPPELL ROAN (it's pride month.)

♡ TOMORROW X TOGETHER (again. it's pride month.)

♡ SABRINA CARPENTER

♡ NEWJEANS

♡ LANA DEL REY (just barely overtook bea!)

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 SPECIAL MENTIONS

along with the announcement of "this is how tomorrow moves" by our lovely lovely girl beabadoobee, the pop princess, the it girl of western music, sabrina carpenter will be making a return with her new album "short 'n sweet" on the 23rd of august, 2024! ♡

a beyond happy birthday to our mother lana, raising girlbloggers since btd era and onwards ♡ we love you lana ♡

tour dates of both brina and bea have been released this month AND THE BEST PART... ME AND MY BEST FRIEND ARE GOING TO A BEA CONCERT IN NOVEMBER 🫶🏻💘💖 I'M BEYOND EXCITED IT WAS LITERALLY JUST LAST ISSUE I WAS TALKING AB HOW MUCH I WANTED TO SEE HER LIVE I CANT DO TJIS AJDHFIAKTJSKF

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 EDITOR'S NOTE

once again, thank you ever so much for reading this issue of bee's record player: june edition! i really really enjoy writing these and getting the chance to yap ab all my silly little music obsessions to you all. i've made some of my closest friends on here and i treasure you all, love u guys <3

all my love! 💘💬🎀

[bobohu4eva]

omg ecstasy!!!!!!!!!!!! it was so so SOOOO good, my favorite chapter actually!! i love that oc's cards are kinda all out on the table now, so to speak. also i love having some jealous possessive baek teehehehe. i cannot even imagine what this morning after is going to look like, i mean there's so many ways it could go LOL so i'm excited to see where you'll take it!!! also i hope at some point they circle back to baek's "you're nothing more than a friend and a fuck" line because that was just RUDEEEEEE and *I* need closure from that haha 😭😭 if i was oc i literally would have been screaming crying throwing up etc lol BUT it's such a good and impactful line (it hit me right in the feels) so bravo OP, you really did all that!!!!

They definitely have a LOT to talk about in the morning, and you're right about that line coming back up! Although the first time he said it I think it was pretty clear to them both that he was trying to convince himself of something as much as trying to make a point to her. People say cruel shit they don't mean when they're mad.

In a different situation she would've had a bigger reaction, but drugs. If she hadn't been high she wouldn't have gone along with him as easily as she did in the first place. In the sober light of morning things will look much different, to say the least.

Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts!!! I appreciate it and love u lots anon 🫶🏻

[bookinit02]

HAVEN OH MY GOSH THE NEW EPISODE!!!!!! I SCREAMED. I made a bunch of very insane notes and I thought I'd gift them to you. as a treat:

fucking COLD

BABY WILL AND MIKE GOT ME SOBBINGGG

So curious as to what's going on with Will and Vecna, also Will tell your boyfriend!!! Come on!!! crazy together!!! (also MIKE tell your boyfriend actually. y'all need to talk about the messed up Vecna stuff!!! that's the whole idea!!!)

OH FUCK OH NO MAX AND LUCAS. OH NO. OH NO I AM SO SAD. OH NO. I AM CRYING. WHYYYYY

NANCY ROBIN ERICA TEAM UP!!! Erica gets friends and mentors as she SHOULD and I love her

WINGWOMAN NANCY!! Hasn't even been come out to yet and is already the wingwoman of all time. We love to see it. I love her.

RONANCE CRUMBS???????

THAT JANCY BREAKUP WAS THE MOST HEARTBREAKING THING I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME. I AM CRYING. SOBBING. BUT IT WAS SO GOOD

What does Karen Wheeler KNOW

Mike and Holly are the cutest little sibling babies and I love them so much. They are my favourite and Holly is adorable and deserves the world.

NANCY AND MIKE ARE ALSO THE CUTEST SIBLINGS. QUALITY WHEELER FAMILY CONTENT RIGHT HERE. I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH.

OHHH MIKE JUST CAME OUT. OH HONEY. NANCY YOU ARE THE BEST BIG SISTER I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

THE JONATHAN AND WILL MIKE AND NANCY PARALLELS IM-

THE MIKE AND NANCY SCENE AS A WHOLE. THAT IS LITERALLY MY FAVOURITE SCENE SO FAR. THAT WAS SO GOOD. READING THAT IN THE FIC IS GOING TO BREAK MY HEART EVEN MORE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Oh Mike. I love you so much. you and will need to TELL EACH OTHER THINGS. PLEASE.

All in all amazing episode, I loved it and it was sad and happy and funny and destroyed me like six times but it's WORTH IT!!!! I'm excited for the chapters of the fic!!!

ok i hope it’s ok that i waited a few days to answer this—i didn’t want to spoil it for anyone!!

first of all YES i was so fucking proud of myself for that line😭 such a banger . i literally left it there for like 2 days without writing anything else bc i was like how tf do i follow that😭😭

MIWIIII💗💗💗😭 BABY MIWIIIIII💗🫶🏻😭

yes!! i am also super excited to develop the will & vecna storyline. and listen they’ve been miscommunicating for like 2 seasons now, ofc they’re gonna keep going (for a little bit at least😉)

yeah honestly i cried writing that scene☹️ they make me so . So.

yes!!! i need some sort of girl power moment in s5 so badly (but Not in that cringy forced way that shows do sometimes if u know what i mean😭)

nancy is The wingwoman of all time actually. she treats it as a matter of life and death. it is a one-woman competition and she is NOT losing.

ronance crumbs… perhaps… hehe :)

yeah listen it broke My heart too and i was SO split on whether to do it or not . but i think it’s the most realistic option and they definitely have things they need to work out!! i’m honestly very very interested to see what the writers do with the love triangle storyline bc this has definitely been the most challenging plot to write so far. but i am enjoying the challenge :)

as for what karen knows… we’ll have to find out👀

I AGREE😭😭💗 HOLLY IS SO UNDERRATED WE NEED MORE OF HER SO BADLY!!!

nancy and mike as well. just more wheeler family dynamics all across the board bc i am Obsessed with them!!

yeah that scene was very emotional to write😭😭 he’s come so far and i’m so proud of him!! (is the one actively writing his character arc)

love me a good parallel🫡🫡

THANK YOU THAT’S ONE OF MY FAVORITE SCENES AS WELL💗💗💗 and yes i’m so excited to write the fic version!!

i’m so glad you liked this episode, thank you SO much for this comment! i don’t get as many comments on my scripts (understandably) as i do on my fic, but i really appreciate when people give me feedback :) i’m so happy that you’re enjoying them!

[rrxnjun]

okay (cracks knuckles) ik whipping out the laptop means serious business for people our age, so thank you bar🥺 and you answering everything made me emotional so lemme reciprocate......yes I like u, more now

Yes they both are your only smuts and not so explict at that and being non explicit is again wholesome for me and hence more delusion inducing. I love both the type of smuts though, explict because oof it's hot and detailed and it makes me distant enough to not get too attached but if it is emo or angsty then I am doomed. Smut makes me go like ew the characters did the bad and dirty stuff and are not so pure and angelic ewww (for me to not live under their skin XD and be sane). I like smut without plot for sure but verrrry short in length, just for giggles yk, and not like 10 chapters of pure fucking (idk how ppl do that😭), then I need plot because where is the buildup and story and feelings. Implicit because it makes me yearn when I am in the mood to not be sane and detach from reality. But I get your point, usually people feel that way i guess, i m weird and horny bxdjnf.

And oh you did NOT like Liebestraum, whyyyy >:( if i may ask (omg sweet(est) anon let me kiss your feet snjhdd) but thanks so much for actually putting it up here (online friends and meeting ur tumblr anon 3 times irl?????? U live in a movie??? R u not real??? I feel it's possible). And oh OH OH, this is why OMG i get it now!!! because ur own feelings are resembled in Jisung's monologue and summer feels like THAT for you, it felt more real to me. As I said I was born in summer and rain, so it's like a part of me, an essence of mine, to feel and connect so much with the summery blues, so that and ur own resemblance made it suureal and easy for me to connect so deeply (i am SLIGHTLY dramatic) Because yk how usually with y/n fics, I resonate or try to at least with the y/n's feelings or imagine from a 3rd pov but this made me feel what Jisung was feeling throughout as my own feelings 😭🥹🥹, I felt like I was left behind without that last meeting instead of Jisung GODJDJSJSJSJSJ, please I will cry, I even told my roommate about this fic and Liebestraum and everything so randomly (she doesn't even follow kpop now and has only read bts fanfics in the past ), please let me kiss u :3 (My fav season is actually the transition from winters ending to spring to summers (spring is kinda short where I live and fall is even shorter otherwise it would have been my favorite too) so yes basically summers approaching because they are not as hot and I don't have to shiver all the time and I see the sun but to an extent that is pleasant) I feel like where I live it gets super duper hot in summers so ppl lean towards winters more.

And no by ur carrd being cute I didn't mean JUST the template but what you wrote, that was cute, u r cute. And IKR, ik so many 03 liners irl because of class but online? They do not exist. One year older? Yess, one year younger? Tons but same age? NAH . And oohh cool, I just completed my bachelors and now I feel lost, gonna go for Masters Clinical prolly but yes idk what I will do after that either and I dread research and therapy even so yeah maybe diagnostics lol. (I am ahead of u, but probably gonna take a break this year, let's get at the same level then :D). You make me wanna re-test my mbti it's been a while ;)

And I am probably gonna read Potential or the self sabotage one, Chenle yes, I rarely find good stuff about him. Wish me luck, I saw people sobbing in your asks regarding Potential 😭. (Thanks for not getting mad but it's understandable even if u do)

I do not listen to Dominic but I will check that song out, for you, to try n feel what you said <3

Let's be friends, can i try sliding into your dms time to time🤸🏻‍♀️

hihihi happy to hear u like me more now 🫶🏻 i like you too 🤭🤭

AHAHA okay i get you but also i definitely read smuts that made me delusional before... this one smut i read i cannot stop thinking about it IT WAS PWP TOO 😭😭😭 sigh. Yeah 10 chapters of pure fucking is not really my cup of tea either. Its like when the smut count in a fic goes past 2 im like well this is too much isnt it🤨 (and then i realize real ppl fuck and im just being a virgin.)

I will tell my friend u wanna kiss her feet /j HAHAHA yeah we met last october for the first time!! She lives in a country next to mine so periodically we take turns and take a train to each others capital 🥰 it definitely feels like a dream like wow life didnt end at 17 i am 21 now and meeting online friends and travelling and wow. And yeah kinda!! Also i feel that i dislike most of my angst for some reason ??? And i dont really know why if im being honest TT its like maybe i feel a bit pretentious ?? I have no idea its a whole thing 😭😭 but once again i feel very honored that you connected so deeply with a work of mine 🫶🏻 its still baffling to me haha. TELLING UR ROOMMATE IS ALSO ANOTHER LEVEL WHAT

omg i actually dislike spring but also like it at the same time ?? I was born in spring! but i dislike the unreliable weather but also theres something abt seeing the sun after months of winter that cures ur depression a little doesnt it😭😭 it gets crazy hot in summers here too!! Like next wednesday its supposed to be 36°C 😀😀😀😀 im gonna d*e. I would say i prefer winter to summer but i think u couldve guessed that from my previous reply HAHA

DJDJS me? Cute? 🤭🤭 no, YOU are. but you are SOOO right i see so many 04 liners online its crazy. Most of my mutuals on here are 04-05 liners it makes me feel OLDDD. Omg thats so cool 😯😯 i think clinical is too far from my abilities LMAOO but then again idk idk. When i was little i wanted to do psych because of clinical but then i got into uni and realized how difficult it is and how i am a gifted child burnout so :// and i feel like therapy isnt for me it would burn me out too much. I was thinking of art therapy perhaps ?? but the easiest way to get emploeyed would be school or educational psych here so we'll see maybe ill go for that ?? tell me what ur mbti is after!!

AAAA self sabotage i dont really like either (i seem to dislike a lot of my work LMAO) but potential is one of my most fav fics ive ever written 🤍 i didnt really think it was THAT angsty but i kind of treated it as my therapy session lmao so...,.,,. Yeah maybe thats why. hope u like it! I am very proud of it,, it was a spontaneous work of mine but im happy with how it turned out :,)

what kind of music do u listen to?? :oo i am a HUGE dominic fan no one underastands the sunburn album the way i do </33 hope u like it if u listen to it:)

LETS BE FRIENDS !! u can slide into my dms any time altho i am uhh not really as active on this blog lately ((since i made my other one this has been collecting dust. Shame on me 😭😭😭😭) but i will try to get back to u asap !! (Or we can talk on discord?)

[onlyjaeyun]

zadie love!!!! 💗💫 i know u said to not apologize for sending in late asks but i can’t help it im sorry🥲 i’ve been so busy on my girls trip this past weekend, and i got home super late last night so i’ve been exhausted trying to fix my sleep schedule yet again while also unpacking from my recent trips BUT while i was in new york i still made sure i got to read ur updates before bed!! i thought it would be better to send in a longer ask once i got home and had more time to type it out🫶🏻🫶🏻

ONTO THE RECENT CHAPS: i looooveeedd taro & yn’s convo like they really are just two besties with absolutely no filter and i enjoyed that chap sm😭 also taro basically calling out yn saying she can’t finish bc sunghoon isn’t the one fucking her is so real like our girl needs to accept and realize it soon😓 AND HOON BEING SO OPEN ABOUT WANTING TO FUCK HER AGAIN WAS NOTTT ON MY 2024 BINGO CARD BC I WOULD THINK HE HAS TOO MUCH PRIDE TO OPENLY ADMIT SOMETHING LIKE THAT. then again he’s still a dick for saying that he wants to fuck her but still doesn’t care about her…you’re writing CH!sunghoon so well like he genuinely makes my blood boil at times. i’m glad yn is getting laid tho but she needs to be fucked good soon and i’m sensing a smut chap w/ hoon in the near future??👀👀

i saw the recent asks some anon sent in saying CH is getting boring and i truly want to know where their thought process is at bc it’s literally getting better with each chapter!!!! some people are so rude, like i get constructive criticism, but that just wasn’t it. the way you’re writing this smau is everything and more zadie, don’t let those weirdos get to you!!!! i know it’s easier said than done but remember there’s more people who love your works (me being one of them), than people who are just bored and have nothing else better to do with their days. IM AN ONLYJAEYUN DEFENDER TILL THE END‼️‼️ you’re doing amazing baby, keep your head up💓💓

wanted to share w/ you a little bit about my girls trip to nyc too!! it was my friend’s 23rd birthday so our whole friend group surprised her w/ a weekend trip to new york as a bday present!! OMG a funny story that happened on our first night there, we all went to this club to celebrate and these group of guys kept being so pushy and gross towards me and my friends. one of them insisted on buying me a drink but he just made me so uncomfy that i didn’t want to even be near him. i tried to decline nicely but he was so persistent. what was funny was that he saw my lockscreen and it was a pic of jongseong in the gym and he immediately backed off bc he thought it was my bf so thank you jay bc he was able to get me out of that situation😭😭

i got carried away with writing this ask so i hope you enjoy this novel i wrote you LOL🤭🤞🏻💞 i hope you’re doing well my baby!! i missed chatting w/ you🥹🫶🏻 ilysm 🤍🧸🎀 !!

- 💌

MY ANGEL BABY IS BACK YALL WAKE UP!!!!🤭🤭🤭💗

bless your sweet soul, the fact you made time to read CH during your busy ass girls' trip means so much to me baby, i love and appreciate you with my whole heart 🥺💗

STOP YOULL ACTUALLY MAKE ME CRY NOT THE DEFENDER PART 🥺🥺🥺 thank you so much baby, ngl the comment did hurt a little but i know most of you guys are loving it as much as i do and with amazing feedback from amazing people like you snd many more i would never let those get to me to that certain point again 🥺 i love you sm

OMG NOT THE JONGIE BOYFIE PIC SAVING YOU!!!!! he really is THAT boyfriend im afraid 🤭 im sorry you had to deal with m*n like that baby and am glad you're ssfe and having fun, you deserve it so much!🥺

sending you the biggest kiss and i really hope you can get a little rest soon bc nestie you've been booked and busy but we love to see it!!!!!💗

[celestie0]

hello ellieeee!!!!

your responses always have me crying ngl!!! somethings you tell me are so precious to me that they make my day, iloveyousomuch!!!

kisses for you here 💋💋💋💋💋💋💋

i’m sure you’re the most fun person to be around in real life, at least id be having the time of my life with you.

i hate kaito and i love for writing him so despicable and annoying. i aspire to write a character like him the way you’ve done.

it’s one thing to let people know about our experience and it’s a whole different level of evil to pull them down to your level of failure because you’re insecure and jealous. kai falls in the second category.

nobody else could tell??? i’m sure they didn’t point it out like me. hopefully, i always panda kun to be recognised!!! he’s my favourite character in jjk. i love pandas in general.

it’s fine, dw, after that ending you don’t have to worry about getting a counsel to represent you for my emotional distress!

reader and geto are giving a very tough competition to kickoff!gojo. but ykw i love gojo, he’s my sweetheart. the love of my life. the apple of my eye. ishouldstop.

no because youve done justice to canon!gojo in this sense, their approach to grieving is similar, except kickoff!gojo is less unhinge and dare i say it: more swoon-worthy. i wanna be like gojo at compartmentalizing and yk just…ive had multiple public breakdowns in uni and i’m so very embarrassed by them, i wish i was more like kickoff!gojo in dealing with them. yk where he calmed himself down for our dear reader? like that. i’m still so impressed by that one scene. it’s so close to my heart. i wish people in my life do that for me. calm down instead of bursting out.

ur so emotionslly intelligent my love and ur empathy is enouhh to make me tear up 😭 ppl in ur life must feel so safe w you

you’re the only person who’s said this to me, and god im smiling like an idiot WHILE tearing up. you’ve no idea how much this means to me, itd get awkward if i start ranting about it. BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

thank you for sharing kickoff with us! it literally makes my heart melt and heals me.

i read it with stuff going because it heals me. kickoff has healing abilities. you are just not aware!

you’ve all my prayers and vibes for yourself!!!! you’re such a wonderful soul to have around (even virtually). i appreciate all of you 🥹

it’s so sweet of to be writing and entire character representing her. it always warms my heart when people love their best friends so much and actually make sure that everyone knows that!!!

STOP MAKING ME FLUSTERED!!! IM FLATTERED AS I AM HOLYSHIT I LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT READING THIS AND GRINNING LIKE A CAT!!!! ILSYM!!! YOURE THE SWEETEST OF ALL!!

🫶🏻💌

hiiii bb YOUR responses always have me crying pls 😭😭😘💋 i feel like i’d lov hanging out w you too haha 🤣 its giving picnic hangout on the beach w champagne vibes LOL

and yes very true ugh kai is despicable but i really hope he wasn’t comically awful 🤣 i realized in writing ch9 how fkn difficult it is to write a sort of gray character (until theyre revealed to be horrible) idk how a lot of authors/show writers do it

aw girl i hear you ab those university breakdowns 😭😭 the amt of times i broke down crying in my car pls 💀 i think my lowest point was when i full on started sobbing in the library it was so embarrassing🧍🏻‍♀️i also started crying in front of my professor once during office hrs n he didnt know what to do n just handed me a box of tissues 😭 i wanna disappear……but thats besides the point lol. yeah compartmentalizing can be useful sometimes but i think it’s super healthy to let emotions out too for sure :”) but no fs if only i had the composure of gojo in that scene in certain cases haha. it’s like blondie in this is me trying “my words shoot to kill when im mad” thats so me 😭😭 i shld be better ab that

AWW ofc ab the comment u highlighted n also for sharing kickoff :””) im so happy my words made u happy, i really mean them!

and aaa yes my friend isnt even a jjk fan bahaha but she said she’d read kickoff if i started posting it so i had to tribute her somehow 🤣 plus i use her for reference for a lot of the film major stuff so it was the least i could do (lol sort of funny note but when kai mentions working shifts at a movie theater bc he thought a director would notice him……my friend has actually done that LMAOO i kinda roasted her for that 💀💀 yikes)

OFC MY DARLING I LOVE TALKING TO U N BOUNCING FEELS N IDEAS N EVERYTHING OFF OF YOU YOU’re SUCH A JOY <333 ilysm i hope u have a wonderful day 😚💕

[kpophubb]

(｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡ 12:20am ✉️#4

original song 🎧

my guilty pleasure these days

for you > 🔥

LOVEU SUNSHINE ☀️ thank y for always blighting my days

🐁 🥱 😴 🫂

ꕺ♡ 💌 : ….𝕿𝖔 𝙼𝚈 нуυηวιη … ꕺ♡

♡…hello baby🥺🫶🏻💗 I love hearing from you so much especially when you write super long letters..it fills me with joy to read each line. I love being talked to. I always open asks first thing in the morning so they always brighten up my day. And don’t feel burdened naurr that I always have to spend time replying to all your lines 😭 it’s just that I love paying attention to every detail <3 I’m a small things person. And yk I faced this myself when I talk about various things and the other person only replies to a few topics and ignores the other ones..I feel hurt ( ¿ ) like yk sometimes I leave some important feelings in those ignored topics..ofc I don’t blame them cause I talk TOO MUCH at a time but yeah I don’t wanna come off as that insensitive to anyone else 💔 thus I pay attention to each word you say cause I never know which one weighs how much value to you. 🤍

♡…and oh that anon T-T nah babes, don’t worry I didn’t think of anything tbh. Sometimes misinterpretation happens bc we have different perspectives and are different individuals so it really is okay. As long as I’m clear and not misunderstood I’m fine with it. Huh..and about my bestie 🫶🏻 yep lol nth happened between us I was just worried of being distanced due to physical separation but that’s fine now! I can totally understand about the mutual bias thing🥲 I love being mutual biased with my friends when it comes to jungwon but uhm..,, you know I kinda feel sad if I ever make a jake biased friend OFC NOT BC HE IS MINE OR IM DELUSIONAL NO HE ISN’T AND WILL NEVER BE, but some part of me stings :( bc I realize how my love for him is so inferior and he’s loved by many other Incredible people and that makes my feelings feel small and invalid 💔 just normal human emotions bc I’m too attached to him..

♡…I’d love to have a pajama party with you omg😭 I love comfy late night sleepovers, we will have lots of snacks, cookies and chocolates and use a lot of skincare and give eachother manicure 💅 and pedicures lol. And pls let’s try to bake brownies and talk a lot about kpop and life. 🤍 it’d be GOALS, I REPEAT LITERAL GOALS to have a pajama party w hyunlix and us 😍🙈 aahh, just thinking about it makes me giddy. And haha I know you love soobinie, if we bring him let’s bring beomgyu too😈 bc I love his sense of humour and he makes me laugh sm. (tho the party will turn into utter chaos in 1 second if we bring him lol.)

♡…about the face reveal thing NO BABY I didn’t mean to make u scroll, I did them many times and put them up for some time so I asked bc I was wondering if you saw THEN. I didn’t mean finding out now 😭 I’m so sorry that due to the miscommunication I wasted so much of your time 💔

♡…I can understand hun, cause I always feel like shit before my period comes. My stomach and back hurt and I feel so negative and emotional, I always end up crying so much. And the health complications and mood swings you said :( awh my poor baby. Pls take extra care of yourself when u go through the tough week. 💗 you deserve to be fed and patted when you feel sick like that, I wish I could take care of u all the time. <3

♡…about the making friends in your 20’s thing, it’s kinda upsetting to admit but a friend in 20’s is never a guarantee. You know, we all get so busy with life- work, academics, responsibilities and so many complex emotions that we can’t bond that deeply with people then. Ofc some people do end up making genuine soulmate friends in their 20’s and they’re lucky. But I feel like the high school and childhood friends you grow and glow with, they know you deeply and have been through your highs and lows that’s why they’re your more real friends. Idk this is just my opinion.

♡…ikr..my way to escape is kpop too. I always feel so welcomed by my idols, I always find so much validation and feel so accepted and loved by them. It’s like coming home after a tiring day, and tho it’s stupid to many people who think how can we find comfort in people who don’t even know we exist, idk how to explain them this peaceful feeling of being able to rest when you’re in their presence. They’re the place of healing for me 🫶🏻 :’) and pls people are SO MEAN when it comes to kpop istg. (It is sometimes bc of the toxic twt fan behaviours and wars that influence people outside kpop to think that kpop is all about drama and obsessed delusional fans) but you know I hate it when people judge kpop idols based on their looks,, calling them “girly” and shit. They really piss me off. No wonder I never tell or reveal anyone I like kpop (not cause I’m not proud of it IM SO PROUD OF ALL MY IDOLS) but bc I do not want to attract negative comments and then argue baselessly with antis who never understand. I’ve been in this kinda discrimination since forever, cause I grew up liking anime and I heard so many criticism for it calling anime “Japanese cartoons” and calling people who like it “childish and nerdy.” I mean, I feel like all the hate towards Asian subjects exist because they’re Asian. You know the Asian racism in the world that I find really meaningless to begin with.

♡…omg that kinda Valentine’s Day would have been perfect 🥺 I bet hyunnie would show up with a painting he made specially for you with a love note 💗 and roses. How cute. You’d be laughing you said,, but had the one I loved shown up with roses for me, I’d be weeping instantly. First I’d be in shock, bc I don’t think anyone would ever bring me my fav flowers for me without me telling them to and that too..on Valentine’s Day. And second, being shown love gestures from the one you love unconditionally must be so special.. I don’t know how that would have felt but today I woke up to Jake’s posts and pictures and I already feel like the happiest and best thing to walk on this planet earth bc I’ve been smiling nonstop and feel so happy🥹

♡… also anonie there’s kinda a special secret I want to tell u maybe someday! Like show u something special about myself that means a lot to me 💗🙈🥰 and if you don’t mind me asking baby, I’m turning 20 this year; what age are you turning this year? (FEEL FREE TO NOT ANSWER IF YOU DONT WANT TO OR FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE HUN)

♡…pls baby don’t type as you walk🥺 I feel so scared what if you bump into a car or person and get hurt 💔 you might even attract creepy stalkers or a phone thief if you’re too distracted!! T-T (I pray that never happens) and ikr. Men🙄 I don’t trust them at all. I know there are some good men in this world, but mostly I met and saw around me bad men who just take advantage of you, who pretend to be nice people and then discard you and disregard your feelings. That’s so upsetting that’s why I stay away from them as much as I can. I stay away from PEOPLE in general as much as I can bc people really be scary af😭 </3

♡… HMM OMG ANONIE that’s a super hard question KFC or McDonald’s 😨 I love both so much 😍 it’s like if I get kfc for lunch, I’ll have to get McDonald’s for dinner then and vice versa!! Kfc zinger burgers are the best burgers to exist for me 🫶🏻 but then McDonald’s fries are the tastiest fries in the world so McDonald’s wins by .5 since Fries are my favourite food 🍟 hahahahhahahahahaha. ( they give so much fries and the people I go w/ can never finish theirs, so I remember how everytime I finish the whole tray of fries by myself and rejoice from contentment!! )

♡…and your grandma aww 🥺 I’m so happy to hear baby that you finally got to talk with her! <3 I can understand how hard it must be to stay away from a precious family member and always yearning to be close to them and help them during the worst times. So it fills me with relief that you guys contacted recently! And omg she’s felix biased💗🥹 your grandma and I would get along, huh!! ;) <3 haha the relationship you have w her is so cute. It’s so heart warming to hear you can feel accepted in her presence no matter what and she even approved of her grandson-in-law (our hyunnie so yaay 🎉)

♡…awh baby I can totally get how intimidating a change can seem. But don’t be afraid, okay? Cause changes are sometimes for the better. And don’t fear you’re gonna lose yourself if you try to change..you know the person in the core of your heart is always gonna be the same. 💗 embrace the new challenges and let it mould you into a stronger and more amazing version of you. You’re not becoming someone else. You’re becoming a BETTER VERSION OF YOU. Think of it like that and you will see how relieved you feel.

♡..and baby don’t feel bad or fear about having so many traumas. You see scars and emotional trauma and distress are something that all people have- some have worse some have slightly better but none of that defines us. They are something we never truly recover from, they just become less intense with time bc we just learn to live with them. At one point in your life in the future, you will look back and be glad that you went through certain things and met some certain people who gave u bad feelings cause if you never met them, you’d never be who you are then and you’d never have had turned out the way you would. Perhaps, you’d turn out as a different person and who knows..maybe your life would have been better in the present but in the future it would have been hard bc you wouldn’t be mentally strong enough. All the incidents that happened atleast shaped you into a stronger and wiser person. :’) 💕

♡….idk where you are rn or know exactly the things you went through to get here, but I know it took a lot in you and it was rough. That’s why I keep reminding you again and again that you’re amazing and you’re doing enough, so rest assured baby, cause better things await you. One day, you will be brave enough to brace yourself for coming where you have. 💓 I pray and hope I’m there to applaud 👏🏻 you then.

♡..now just some random fillers at the end. The cookies u attached they look so tasty😭😍 I wanna go nomnom bc they’re making my mouth water..</3 I love choco chip cookies. (AND WHY THE FELIX AB PICTURE WHAT THE HELL I ALMOST SCREAMED) and something I wanted to say at the end bc it feels super special to me..- I love the way you call me sunshine. It makes me feel so validated and appreciated on the inside, cause it’s always been a dream of mine to be someone who can be a light in other people’s lives. I always yearned to be addressed as “sunshine” with love by people dear to me someday, and now that it’s happening, it brims my eyes with the happiest tears. I really, really, really love you. 💛

ꕺ♡ ….💌 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 ƒєℓιχ 🌤️ ꕺ♥︎

[☁️….𝗹𝗼𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗱𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗾𝘂𝗼𝘁𝗲] ⇘ ♡♡♡

“When I look at you, I feel like I have another reason to live.”