#people always say that inattentive adhd is put to the side but when I think aobut it hyperactive adhd rep is rarely intentional

[star-ch3rries]

there's so much background to tessa its insane actually like it just hit me right now in the midst of my fixation on her lore

[claritys-silly-things]

It’s that time again yall

Headcanons! It’s a long one this time

Emetophobia tw

- (I think I can classify this as modern) Rip sodapop curtis you would’ve loved saying “I’m just a girl 🎀”

- Soda never liked haircuts. When he was a small feral child his long hair would get tangled a lot, but he’s tender headed as FUCK so he would scream and cry when his momma brought the brush out. Darry put sodas hair into braids sometimes just for fun and soda didn’t mind bc it kept his hair from getting tangled, and then it didn’t hurt to brush. He’s always had really soft hair and it grows super fast.

- Jealous little soda asksjks (this was about soda being jealous over pony getting attention as a baby but I don’t wanna edit the original ramble I wrote down)

- When ponyboy was born he just kind of STARED. No crying or anything just 👁️👁️. Even Darry cried when he was born. Soda cried a lot.

- Adding on, Darry and pony were pretty quiet babies. They still cried for food and stuff sometimes but not a lot. Soda was a LOUDDD crier, and a frequent one too. It was the type of crying that sounds like it hurts the baby’s throat cause they’re shrieking their head off. Also soda would cry for, like, the first year of his life if he was ever handed to his dad.

- If Johnny survived the fire and got a wheelchair, he’d be running over people’s feet. Constantly. Just because. Or bc they asked for it. Either way, the moment he gets a hang of that wheelchair it is OVER for yall. And probably before that too.

- Ponyboy gets the same. Goddamn. Thing. At EVERY restaurant. Partly because it scares him to order anything else, partly because he’s picky asf. He makes sure it’s there on the menu and has his order memorized by now. “Chicken tenders, fries, and a Pepsi please.” He’s tried to ask for other things in the past like eggs, cuz he likes those, but the moment they asked him “how would you like them done” he just stared at Darry because he didn’t know what all the different types of eggs were, and now he’s scared bc he’s taking longer, and the server is still there, so he just got sunny side up eggs and they were slimy and he wanted to go home and cry (based on a true story sadly)

- Basically pony has anxiety and probably autism (so me)

- Ponyboy likes avocado. That’s it that’s the headcanon. It’s like one of the only healthy-ish things he’ll eat.

- Soda gets suuuper nauseous really easily, and pony gets carsick on occasion. So the first time pony went to a theme park, his family was scared that he would throw up like soda. They go on a ride and he’s like “yall im fine dawg.” Soda is jealous bc pony can go on rides unaffected (soda will still go on rides anyways, he just throws up afterwards)

- Pony is the most PALE ASS BITCH you’ve ever seen. He burns soo easily. His face gets red really quickly, no matter what’s going on. The only time he gets the slightest bit darker is when he burns and tans. Two-bit has been like “you ain’t white you translucent” multiple times because in the right lighting you can see pony’s veins. It’s even worse because soda and Darry tan so wonderfully, and pony looks like he had an allergic reaction if he doesn’t reapply his sunscreen when he’s supposed to. I feel like Mrs Curtis is the reason for this, she didn’t tan. Mr Curtis did tho.

- Pony has mild (severe) ocd

- Marcia’s last name is smith she is white-Hispanic on one side and Native American on the other thank you for coming to my TED talk

- Marcia is Cuban and Native American

- Marcia’s full name is Marcia smith that’s it that’s the end

It’s funny cuz I listed these things like three times and just forgot about the other two

- Twobit is Brazilian end headcanon

- Mr Curtis had autism and Mrs Curtis had inattentive adhd

- Mr Curtis was half Mexican on his mom’s side and half Irish on his dad’s side. Mrs Curtis was full Italian-American.

- Darrys the typa guy to make pony and soda turn off a show or movie if it talks about possession or like demonic stuff/soul stealing stuff

- (Modern au) Darry will get a text from ponyboy about something, like “can I go in your room rq” and he sees it but doesn’t actually open the text message until later and like, two hours later he’ll just respond “no” and thinks it’s the funniest shit ever

[im14andivebeen14foramonth]

ADHD CURTIS BROTHERS HCS PLEASEEEEE 🙏

YESSS I FUCK WITH THIS HEAVY

Ponyboy

pony's most apparent symptom is his inattentiveness. his head is always up in the clouds, and he spends a looot of time daydreaming

very very very forgetful, mostly about his own needs. he'll go days without brushing his teeth if darry doesn't remind him

pony has a bad habit of zoning out while looking directly at people, so they just look over and his eyes are like wide and glazed over and staring into their souls. it especially freaks steve out for some reason. "QUIT STARING AT ME LIKE THAT!!" "huh?"

he can't get himself to do his homework in a timely manner. he works best under pressure and so he'll just procrastinate it until the night before it's due and then he locks in

when he does lock in like that, he's practically dead to the world. bro forgets to eat and drink and move his body for like hours at a time until darry or soda makes him get up and he's just like "ow. ow. ow. everything hurts"

he's still hyperactive though and it drives darry crazy sometimes. when he's with the rest of the gang is when it really spikes, and he'll start running all around the house with them. darry can tell though when he needs to get his energy out because he'll just start following darry around the house and bounce around or drum his fingers on every single thing he can. when he gets like that, darry will ask him if he wants to go for a run or play football or smthn so that he can get his energy out

bro WILL hyper fixate on every single thing he's interested in, his consistent ones are books and movies, but sometimes he'll just spend hours a day thinking about one specific book or drawing one character from the latest movie he's seen

it's always a 50/50 on whether he's going to have lots of fun or get super overstimulated in different places. like in grocery stores, after a half hour he's ready to start crying and he'll usually just get quiet and not leave darry's side until they leave. but he thrives in other places like fairs and festivals, and enjoys the bright lights and loud music

he doesn't have great control over his temper. he gets frustrated super easily and will get snappy over the smallest things, but almost every time without fail it ends with him crying and feeling bad

Sodapop

this man may just be the most hyperactive person ever

he will NOT stay in one place for more than five minutes at a time. he's always running around the house, and when he does stay in one spot, he's shaking/bouncing his leg the entire time

like pony though, he gets his moments where he locks in and they're the only times that he doesn't break focus no matter what. he'll go from talking nonstop to just being dead silent as he tries to fix something on a car at work and it freaks steve out

he's so bad with rejection :( even if it's something as small as someone saying they don't like his favorite car, or they're not in the mood to talk about horses, he'll get so sad and feel like his interests are stupid

he cries a lot no matter what he's feeling. if he gets frustrated, angry, or scared, he'll start crying and his energy goes through the roof

soda is easily the most forgetful person any of the gang has ever met. he'll forget what day it is, to put shoes on, to take food out of the oven, everything. it's mostly a short-term memory issue. however, his memory will be really good for oddly specific things. steve: "remember that time I got a cold or something in like elementary school and-" "oh yeah that tuesday in october in first grade when you were wearing that red shirt and you kept sneezing during story time :)" "why do you remember that??" "I dunno"

when he gets overstimulated it's BAD. it doesn't happen often, but when it does, he'll break down in tears and refuse to speak to anyone. darry's the only one who can ever calm him down

he stims a lot, usually by playing with the hair on the back of his neck or rubbing whatever shirt he's wearing

Darry

although it may not be as obvious, darry's also on the hyperactive side. he loves football, running, swimming, anything that's high intensity and lets him get his energy out. when he doesn't have a chance to do those things, he'll usually just pace around or do a quick workout

he will drum his fingers every single time he's thinking, he's even worse than pony with it. and if he has a pen in his hand, you better believe he's clicking it nonstop. the amount of dirty looks he got in school for it was crazy

even though he gets on pony for it a lot, darry also zones out a lot. he's usually better at hiding it though, like people will be having full conversations with him and they don't realize that he was zoned out the whole time until they ask him something and he just goes "huh?"

his biggest hyper fixation has always been football. he could talk for hours and hours about any player, team, or game if someone lets him

he did great in school, but he always had to find obscure ways of remembering things for tests and quizzes, he especially did a lot of those acronym things. whenever someone asked him how he did something or remembered something, he would explain his weird system and they would be even more confused

this poor man cannot cope without a schedule. that's a part of the reason why he gets so bothered when pony isn't home at the right time, because it throws off his schedule and then his whole day is ruined

whenever he reads, he can only focus if he sort of murmurs the words the whole time, and he almost always plays with the edges of the paper to keep his focus

when he gets overstimulated, he gets snappy and loud and doesn't want a single person to touch or talk to him

he's big on vocal stims. he hums or mumbles to himself or makes random noises whenever he's trying to focus on something

[firealder2005]

I wouldn’t say he HATED me…but there was definitely some exasperation/frustration from him.

he was my middle school English teacher. Which is ironic considering he told me I read too much. This was prompted because every day before class started, I’d be reading my book, waiting for class to begin, and get so absorbed into it that literally everything blots out.

I know now that’s something adhd does, but lil 7th grade me had no clue she was adhd at the time.

so I’d have everything subconsciously blocked out, and consequently miss the first 20 minutes of class.

Ofc I know I probably should have noticed…but again. undiagnosed adhd 12 year old 7th grader. can you blame me. (Plus it was a good book.)

He’d very loudly tell me to put my book away and I’d feel very embarrassed, swearing I didn’t mean to lose track of time, but honestly I don’t think he ever believed me. Even when I described how my attention span zoned out.

(this is the moment I then ask— why did he let it go on for 20 minutes. every. time. sometimes even 30. sus.)

I know for a fact he also didn’t consider me one of the “good students”. He said, straight-faced, in front of the whole class, that the reason I wasn’t was because of the aforementioned “reads too much”.

like what the fuck dude. way to make a 12 year old feel terrible in front of the whole class— the whole class, who for a matter of fact, already gave her shit about reading books for fun. something all the teachers were informed of…

I don’t know about you, but I’d take the girl who’s too absorbed in her book over the kids who scream for no reason, push each other around, and make it their life’s mission to make other people feel awful.

not to mention during conferences he told my mom about my inattention in a negative light.

this is why my science/history teacher in middle school was my favorite. (Which is doubly ironic, because he was the rest of the classes’ least favorite)

Whenever I did zone out in my book, he would snap me out of it just by saying my name and nicely asking me to put it away, because class is about to begin. And because of him doing that, I— gasp! — actually got better at being aware of my surroundings! And putting my book away myself when class began!

(he retired my junior year of high school, so I visited his classroom one more time to say bye and he said “see all these gray hairs? none of them came from you, you were a very good student.” I left the room with a big smile :3)

(side note: it was obvious I was his favorite student in my class lol— one time, for an end of the year project, I begged to be assigned one of the astronomy chapters, because I was OBSESSED with space in middle school. He ended up giving me the chapter with black holes, neutron stars, and galaxies, and my space-obsessed ass was over the moon >:3)

by 8th grade, I had suspicions that I had adhd, because I related a lot to the characters of Percy Jackson and started looking into it myself.

I was officially diagnosed with ADD my sophomore year of high school, when I was having trouble focusing, staying on-task, and was often caught up in my own head. I took and am still taking meds now in college to help focus my eternally-running mind.

and I still remember everything he said. my high school teachers were much better about my inattention by a mile, especially after I would tell them about ADHD and how it structures my brain differently, processes information differently.

like shout-out to my high school history teacher for letting me DRAW and COLOR during our movie watching! I had something to do as I watched the movie, and my work always was turned in with strong marks!

He even let me WRITE while watching our class videos/movies! Eventually I ended up drawing/coloring in every class I had, though I did have to explain how it helps me pay attention a few times.

I really think middle school teachers especially should be equipped with the knowledge of ADD/ADHD kids, and how their minds work, as well as other neurodivergent kids. It’s these little signs that are clues to neurodiversity, even if they seem small and insignificant.

my middle school math teacher had stim toys at one point— I only needed the rubber band across my desk to keep myself on task, because a lot of the time I’m kicking my leg (I was officially diagnosed with ADD, as you recall, but I swear I think I’m also hyperactive, and not even just the physical sort because oh my god my brain is always running).

unfortunately he ended up taking them all away because some kids were jacking around with them. smh.

Tell us more about your experience! Sumbitted by @anon.

[nightlight-stardust-and-rain]

OK so concept : Aomine Daiki with ADHD

(this works with the fact that comorbidities are very common in ADHD and I think he looks a bit like he has depression in canon)

He's both inattentive and hyperactive! That makes classes difficult but also he doesn't really put any effort in them so.....

He fidgets all the time. Never still. Momoi actually finds silence disquieting because of him. They're kinda always together, and he always makes background noise, so she's unused to silence.

The echolalia is STRONG in this one. He repeats a lot of things other people say. Given his personality, said people think he's mocking them (admittedly, sometimes he is) but most of the time it's really just echolalia. His "the only one who can beat me is me" thing is a sentence that just popped in his head one day and from them on he couldn't stop himself from saying it every now and then.

One of his favorite things to say in repeat is Momoi's first name. He can spend whole minutes going "Satsuki Satsuki Satsuki Satsuki Satsuki saaaaatsuki satsuki-" because it sounds super good and he likes. The taste. The feel. You see what I mean. When Momoi's here to hear him do it (which she is more often than not, since they are together more often than not) she doesn't minds because she's very used to it. And she likes how he smiles when he says her name. The only negative side-effect of this is that sometimes when someone calls Momoi by her first name she doesn't reacts because she's used to Aomine saying her name in a just-saying-not-calling way.

Aomine sometimes mimics Momoi's accent but since they have similar accents (that one is a headcanon, since they grew up together) it's hard to hear. After joining Teiko, he also mimics the GOM's accents.

Aomine really likes the bumpy feeling of a basketball. Momoi made him a bracelet that had an outward layer made of basketball material so he can rub his fingers on it whenever he wants.

His biggest hyperfixation is basketball obviously. Which, honestly, is part of why I think he has depression in canon. We all know how bad the feeling of being unable to enjoy your hyperfixation is. Truly a void like no other.

He's very bendy which is canon but it can also be an ADHD thing so it goes in there! He often sits weirdly, and numerous classmates have asked him if it hurt to bend like that. No, it does not, fuck off. Momoi thinks it's funny.

Communicates a lot with body language. If it can be said without words, it will be said without words. Momoi is the only one who always gets it, but Kuroko is a close one. Lots of exaggerated facial expressions to get the point across.

Stimming involves a lot of drumming. Drumming on his desk, on his collarbones, on his knee, on his jaw.... His fingers constantly go tap-tap-tap. He will often do it on Kuroko and Momoi's shoulders.

Has sensory issues with taste which is uh. Not ideal with spice.

His spatial awareness is flawless. Idk if it's a ADHD thing, but it feels like one, so.

Forgets his homework constantly. Admittedly, he's not trying very hard.

[docholligay]

I’m sorry if this is too personal. I was really late for work today and now i feel like a total lump of trash.( first real job). Any words of advice besides don’t oversleep?

I mean, don't oversleep is the best way to avoid feeling like this in the future. Not being late is the best way to avoid the feeling of shittiness, over being late. 

I’m not sure whether you want advice on not being late, or on not feeling like a piece of shit, so we’ll double prong it. At least half of the “stop being late” advice, you and anyone else reading this won’t take, but at the very least I can say I put it out there. 

I have ADHD, and so a lot of those tips are based around what works for me, but certainly you don’t have to have ADHD to use them--inattention is a sign of a million different things, as is executive dysfunction, and sleep disruption is basically normal in our constantly connected culture. You don’t need any pedigree to use this. 

On Not Being Late, With Special Attention to Sleeping. 

Go to bed at a decent hour. 

Figure out how much sleep you need in a night to move quickly in the morning, and move your bedtime back so you have a certain amount of cushion in the morning, depending on how far you live from work. It may annoy you to go to bed at 9, 10, etc, but you want to be a human being who does well at your job, and that takes certain sacrifices. 

Don’t just lay in bed, sleep

Here’s the one no one will listen to me on: TURN OFF YOUR FUCKING PHONE AND PUT IT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM. PUT IT THE FUCK DOWN. Not only does it keep you awake for longer, but you’ll roll over at 2 am to “check the time” and end up on it for at least another half hour. You can keep it next to you if you legit have the willpower not to pick it up--I am not allowed to pick mine up from about 11:30 to 6 am, and I’m fine with that--but most people especially starting out, just don’t. Our addiction centers have been hijacked by technology in a ton of ways. If you need a transition, I really highly recommend getting a real, physical book and reading for about an hour before you go to sleep. 

But I can’t sleep, I just lay there! Well, just lay there in the darkness!! Have some meditation and alone time! When I was a kid, my mom always used to tell met that I didn’t have to sleep, but I did have to rest. I still wake up every night about 3ish and stay awake for about a half hour/hour, but I don’t grab anything! I write stories in my head, I think about things, and eventually I go back to sleep. Meditate, recite poetry, whatever, but DON’T GRAB YOUR PHONE. 

Get a very loud alarm clock and put it on the other side of the room. 

When I was in high school I literally had this: 

With the volume turned ALL the way up, playing reveille. It was the only way, really, to get myself up and get moving. I’m a lot better now, but in initial training, it was really tough for me. Putting it on the other side of the room means you can’t hit snooze. Don’t. Snooze is dead to you now. Snooze isn’t helpful and half the time you go back to a fitful sleep, and for what? 

Leave your phone alone while you get ready. 

 I wake up early so that I can do my morning routine of reading the NYT on my phone. If you need “phone time” in the morning, make it a specific, laid out thing, not come endless scroll while you’re supposed to be doing other shit. My alarm goes off, I grab my phone and read, another alarm goes off, and it’s time to set down my phone and get dressed. Set multiple alarms for yourself, ONE MINUTE APART, NOT FIVE, if you have trouble setting down your phone. Annoy yourself into compliance. Set it down, and leave it at your bedside table. If you forget and pick it up, correct yourself, set it down, and keep getting ready. I find it useful if I’m having a rough time of it to put it by the door, or something, somewhere inconvenient. 

Lay stuff out the night before. 

Clothes, breakfast, etc. Then you can basically run through like a whirlwind. I can be ready in 30 minutes or less, generally, which ALSO gives me some slack. 

All this has helped me IMMENSELY over the years and I do pretty well now! 

On Not Feeling Like a Piece of Shit 

I am a big believer in the useful qualities of guilt! Guilt is often a good guide for ourselves about the things we probably should be doing. We feel guilty blowing our entire afternoon refreshing tumblr/fb/etc because it’s a dumbass way to waste a lifetime. That being said, like anything in life, it has its limitations. 

Are you working toward doing better next time, in a real, concrete way? Have you put things into place to try and make it less likely to happen? Than the guilt has served its purpose. You can release it. Even go all Marie Kondo and thank it for having shown you more of the person you’d like to be, but then let it go. Clinging to it out of some desire to self-flagellate without purpose is a kind of self-centered behavior. Who benefits from you stewing in your own natural juices? 

DO we all do it? Of course we do, we’re only human, after all. But I want to encourage you that when you think, “I was really late for work one day, I’m a stupid piece of shit” you answer, “I made a mistake because I’m new to the workforce, and that sucks, but I’m taking steps to make sure it doesn’t keep happening. What more can I ask of me?” and if the answer comes back, “Well, you’re not putting your phone down/going to bed responsibly/etc” then recommit yourself to doing that! But I think, if you’re working, and you are sincere with yourself, you’ll find that sometimes the answer is, “I think I’m asking all of me that I can” in which case, you have no responsibility or even right to hate yourself over it.

 It involves a lot of level of honesty with ourselves, but I believe that you’re capable of it. Be FAIR to yourself. And being fair is neither permissive nor cruel. If you’re doing your best, you hav to give yourself permission to forgive yourself. A mistake isn’t worth castigating yourself over. It’s really only repeated patterns of behavior where I think you’re allowed to give yourself a little bit of a spanking, and I’ve been on that side, for sure. But always think, “Is this FAIR to me? Would I consider this FAIR to someone else?” 

I mean if I had an otherwise good employee who was really late once, I would think of the times I’ve completely fucked up my schedule. Once is nothing! I’d probably ask if everything was okay, and as long as it wasn’t a repeated thing, no big deal. 

[the-sheshark-redmention]

Ok so... On annabeth having adhd... Headcanons..

(pissclaimer: this is based on my own adhd which is primarily inattentive so some experiences might like... Either uncommon or maybe something I do that's completely unrelated to adhd lmao.. but whatever)

Constantly interrupting people. Like all the time, there's always a million thoughts running through her head and in a conversation she'll interrupt anyone and sometimes even her own train of thought

She always likes to have plan, not just bc of her mom but also bc it helps keep her on task, and if she makes the plan it really helps her know what to do and stops her from getting side tracked

If she doesn't care about learning about a topic, it would take the entire Greek god ensemble to keep her from procrastinating and leaving it till the last possible second

Gets very lost in her own thoughts, sometimes she isn't even really thinking thinking, but unless she's interested or making an effort she might tune ppl out

Sometimes she concentrates so hard on trying to tune in that she still misses what people are saying

She utterly revamped Olympus in manic fervour, powering through it over a summer, really threw her all into it, and then when it came to the finishing touches she just kinda... Slowed down. As in finishing touches and extra columns and such

Sometimes shes thinking at night or at a random moment and then remembers a random detail she was supposed to put into the architectural details and just goes "SHIT"

Takes multiple friends of hers to stop her from leaving to go to Mt Olympus immediately

Got very freaked out about deciding on how to design it at first, but at the end of the day she is a daughter of athena, she figures out how necessary decisions are to the process early on

She's still indecisive as shit on other stuff tho.

She makes Percy wait like 10 minutes outside a restaurant trying to decide what to order once

Her good memory allows her to skate through school a little, but when it comes to shit like actually studying she genuinely just... Cant

There's a lot of comments about wasted potential on her report cards when she gets a test back with 50 percent, and if she had just studied even a little it would be higher but...

Not to mention her dyslexia fucking shit up too

She's kinda a little reserved when she's not at camp, it's different at camp or when she's with people she knows because thats hometurf, but at school she's a little awkward

If yall have questions or add ons feel free to share

[dirkxcaliborn]

*steals ask meme and turns it into a tag meme so I can answer all the questions* via frogwithadhd

what was/is one of your most obscure hyperfixations? Meerkat Manor maybe? Some stuff just ends up kinda fading in my memory because I didn’t have anyone to talk to about it, and half the time I enthused about it, I really wanted to talk to someone about it so it ended up pretty negative lol

what’s your current hyperfixation(s)? Genshin Impact. I haven’t even been playing much lately because I kinda burnt myself out, but now I’m really getting into the fic for it and I’m just !!!!!!! I’ve kinda been fixating specifically on characters and lately it’s shifted from Kazuha to Childe. My brain is just everything Childe all the time

do you have any other family with adhd? Not that I know of. My mom shares a lot of symptoms, but she’s got a different diagnosis and has no interest on tacking adhd to everything else haha

what’s your favorite stim? The one I do the most is probably tapping things. It’s become a bit of a joke at work as being my “idle animation” lmao but when I’ve got a bunch of nervous energy and no idea what to do, I’ll just walk along tapping everything and trying to get my thoughts in order. The one that’s the most fun is conducting music. Usually do that one while I’m walking somewhere and listening to music, and I’ll wave my arms and tap my fingers and such to the beat. 

do you like background music or does it distract you? Hmm... I think mostly I like it. It drowns out other smaller, more distracting sounds. I much prefer a low noise I’m really familiar with, like a lyric-less playlist I’ve looped a bunch over random ambient noise.

does noise when you work put you on the fritz/sensory overload? (people talking/humming/singing, a video playing, tapping, pen clicks, etc.) Absolutely 100% I get super worked up and can’t focus at all except on the noise. Also idk about y’all but I also get really, really worked up by like.... visual stuff???? People brushing their fingers through their hair, bouncing their leg, etc. Someone will be continually petting a dog and it’s all I can focus on and I want them to stop so much dfghjkl

what is sensory overload like for you? does it happen often? Idk I’m all wired up and everything agitates me. I can’t stand the sound of anyone’s voice and my skin crawls. Idk it’s like super often or anything? Often enough I guess? I feel like I’ve usually got a way to step back.

do you actually get distracted by squirrels or is this a myth? For me? Not at all. Had a friend who would stop dead conversation or interrupt every single time to point out a dog. I really hated it lol My thoughts jump around a lot, but it’s more internally linking to random shit that’s all on my mind at the same time. 

hyperactive, inattentive, or both? dunno lol Both I guess Depends whether the situation allows outward shows or if I’m just very much in my head

do you have a hard time talking too loud, or maybe too quiet? both? I used to be too loud and sometimes still am I guess, but mostly I’m really quiet and wish other people would be too lol People almost always complete miss what I say. 

what was your childhood like? was it obvious that you had adhd, or would nobody have ever expected it? Well in 1st grade, a teacher actually set up a meeting with my mom to discuss her suspicions that I had ADHD. My mom always tells the story with a scoff like the audacity of this woman!!!!!!! How dare!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But the older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve wondered whether she was on to something, and what would’ve happened if that’d been taken seriously?

do you take meds? how do they help you? what side effects have you had, or what meds have been wrong for you? Here’s where I confess I’m not actually diagnosed anything. I don’t even know if getting a diagnosis would help me at this point. I hear there’s downsides to having that stuck on your record and that it’s really difficult and expensive to get diagnosed as an adult. 

pog is such a stimmy word. have you ever been addicted to saying pog. you cant stop saying pog. and hey theres no shame or judgement here ok, now tell me: have you ever been addicted to Pog, son? I have not

are you forgetting something rn? So many things. The other day, I went to work on my day off just to get something to eat since I was in the area. My manager asked me if I was working the next day and I said “yeah, probably.” He told me something after that. I later realized I had the next day off, but have no fuckin clue what he told me. I still don’t remember.  A recent funny one is that just before Halloween, it suddenly hit me that November 1st was a significant day for some reason. I thought on it. What could possibly be happening???? I’m sure something is happening I think??? Couldn’t for the life of me remembered and figured I must’ve gotten my thoughts mixed up. Then a discord message suddenly reminded me OH I have a D&D session on November 1st and it’s taking place at my house. Good thing I remembered that one in time lmfao

what are your average sleep hours? 1 am is pretty typical bedtime since I usually work morning shifts. Even if I have to get up at 6 am for work, I still can’t go to sleep until 1 am.... sometimes later. If I have a day off, I like to completely screw myself over by staying up til 4 or 5 am and trudging out of bed at 3pm. This is very bad in winter when the sun is setting by 3pm lmfao

what do you think about at 3 am? Nowadays? Lonely, self-depracating thoughts lol Spiraling into those is the worst. That’s when I end up checking my phone and seeing my alarm is going to go off in an hour and a half because I was too worked up to sleep. I much prefer when I get sucked into a fanfic and that occupies all my thoughts haha 

what hyperfixation do you find yourself always drifting back to? do you always have that one interest that you wish you could get back into but just cant? I tend to cycle back to most of my interests. I really miss when I used to draw all the time. I had these huge folders of art where I just loved something so much and would draw the shit out of it. I draw like one thing now and it’s exhausting. It’s never good enough. It’s awkward and uncomfortable. I used to vent all my feelings through my art, the good ones, the bad ones. I guess I didn’t need people to talk to about stuff because I got it all out through drawing. I really miss that. Also fire emblem. Every so often it hits me like a truck that I really love fire emblem lmfao 

do you actually have a constant special interest that you never get tired of?!1!?1?1! Hmm. Not really. Like I said, I tend to cycle. I can’t game consistently, I can’t craft consistently, I can’t read consistently. I’ll either be really, really into it, or can’t touch it at all. 

have you ever been or are you addicted to caffeine? Nah, I don’t really like it. I only drink coffee at work, and it’s more about the sugar milk than anything else lmao. I had to start going half-caf because it would fill me with so much nervous energy that I’d just be super fucking anxious all day. 

what’s your favorite < 30 second youtube video that gives you a whole truckload of happy chemicals? I’m gonna cheat bc I’m p sure it’s longer than 30 seconds, but I love Woah Plaza (it’s the wii theme but with the crash bandicoot WOAH sounds instead lmao)

as a child, was it difficult for you to make friends? is it still difficult? Yes??? no????? kinda????? I think I spent a lot of time alone, both then and now. I think I kind of stumbled upon friends and didn’t know how it happened. Lost friends and didn’t know how that happened either. I get along with almost everyone, but it’s really hard to be close to anyone. It’s really easy to slap on an agreeable, likable mask and a lot harder to keep trying to take it off only to be found difficult and unlikable ya know? There’s all these things like not really knowing anything about people or not being trusted with their thoughts and their feelings... bleh something, something, lonely self-depracating thoughts or w/e

hate math or love math? how do you do with mental math/arithmetic? I actually quite like math. I really like solving things and that’d 90% of math. I have a bad habit of stumbling over the easy stuff and ending up wildly wrong tho lmao I can usually hold numbers in my head tho and will often skip a bunch of steps when showing my work because it’d be ridiculously slow to write them down when I have other stuff to figure out.

what was/is your favorite subject? if you have one lol I was really good at English, but I think science is the most interesting.

on a scale of abhor to adore, how much do you hate school? Ya know, I love learning, and I honestly kinda do really like structure. The actual environment of school was horrible though. Part of it I think was being surrounded by people for 7+ hours a day, 5 days a week. I can’t handle that. I don’t even need to interact with them to not be able to handle that.

how do you learn? (visually, kinesthetically, etc.) Hmm.... definitely not auditorily because I miss half the things people say and forget what I did hear shortly after. I remember things I read very well, though. I don’t visualize in my head very well, so I often draw things out to understand them. Visually, I guess.  

sloppy or neat handwriting? Mostly neat, though it can get fairly sloppy. Most people at work have horrible writing when it comes to the cups though lmao we’re always in such a rush to get everything on the cup before we forget one of the customer’s several customizations, and forget to consider than someone else will have to decipher it

good or bad at procrastinating? (like when you procrastinate, do you freak out or are you chill about getting it done?) I mostly freak out about stuff that I had no confidence in being able to complete in the first place. I procrastinate literally everything tho, so for the stuff I’m confident in my ability to complete in general, I won’t be super frantic about the time. 

// I don’t really have answers to the original 28 and 29

how do you feel about reading? is it really difficult for you, or maybe it’s one of your favorite pastimes? do you like it but it’s just hard and you cant get into it? share le thoughts :) I like reading a lot. It always gives me direction for my racing thoughts. Lately, I’ve found I have to take short breaks partway through reading. It feels like a Lot even tho really I would like to finished 200k in a single sitting lmaoo But in those breaks, I end up thinking a lot about the events and the characters and possible foreshadowing and where I think things are going. Idk compared to games and movies and such, I feel like books take me out of myself a lot more. 

[zosonils]

Haven't watched Phineas and Ferb in forever but. Your headcanons. Hand them over (please.)

hjdfnj aye aye o7 prepare for ferb posting

biromantic ace ferb. yes this is projecting.

the only ‘hetero’ in ferb is heterochromia babey!! i’m considering headcanoning it as acquired somehow but i haven’t done enough research to pin anything down so for now i’m treating it as congenital

had a bilateral cleft lip when he was born, got it fixed with surgery pretty early on but that’s why his top lip sticks out a bit the way it does

autistic and inattentive adhd babey B) of course the entire pnf cast has autism but like. ferb specifically is coded as autistic so hard that even neurotypicals can pick up on it and that’s super chad of him

he’s very prone to sensory overload, mostly with bright or flashing lights, hence why he wears sunglasses more often than anyone else [that i’m aware of] - it’s not as bad if it’s coming from something he and phineas made, because he usually made the lights and knows exactly where and when they’ll come on

he actively dislikes verbal communication in most circumstances, so he mostly speaks out loud when there’s no way of translating what he has to say into nonverbal form or when the situation otherwise necessitates it! generally he’s more chatty with family or close friends, and avoids talking to people he doesn’t know as well [side note i absolutely love how accomodating of this everyone is in-universe, pnf really went ‘nonverbal people are valid and you literally don’t have to force them to communicate in a way that’s uncomfortable for them’]

although he doesn’t necessarily talk much he still vocalises a fair bit, either to communicate or to stim!

he mostly stims vocally by humming or repeating noises, or by hand/arm flapping. also he and phineas probably invented the ultimate stim toy as one of their daily projects so they both have one of those to play around with when they need to stim more quietly

he’s got slight social anxiety, hence why phineas always takes centre stage when they’re presenting their projects to anyone - he knows that ferb hates being the centre of attention, so he always handles interacting with people while making sure to give his bro the credit he deserves

he and phineas have a REALLY tight relationship that i would need another entire infodump garbage ask to cover completely but tldr they’re pretty much the most important people in each other’s lives [at least at the time pnf takes place]. ferb looks up to phineas a fair bit for things like his boundless optimism and creativity, although he can also see right through phin’s social cluelessness and complexity addiction, so it balances out and he never has issues with putting phineas on a pedestal or thinking one of them isn’t good enough for the other

as opposed to phineas’ general naivety about the situation, ferb straight up knows that candace wants them to get in trouble. he hasn’t told either of them simply because they haven’t asked. [also he’s comfortable with the daily routine and doesn’t want to risk changing or breaking it]

i’ve been typing for like a solid hour so i’m gonna stop here whjndkjngdj but thank you for coming to my ted talk!! my inbox is always open if anyone wants to ask after more of my infodumping lmao

[edxtsytlps]

Writing Characters with ADHD

This is another thing I personally experience. However, this won't just be about my experiences (basing it off mine, my cousin's, and my classmate/friend's[? Am I friends with him?]) and on Instagram will likely be divided up between posts. So let's get into it! AND DON'T HESITATE TO CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG!!! I only know for sure what's in my brain, and I can only tell from my cousin what I see them do, and while I've done some research, it's different for everyone so if you have anything to add, just put it in the comments or DM me and I'll put them in a future post!

What is ADHD?

ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. It is horribly named, though. "I have trouble focusing and doing daily tasks, and sometimes I find it easier to concentrate when I'm moving." And then the name says, "Oh! Maybe you have a trouble sitting still disorder." Sorry!! That was a joke I saw while scrolling through Instagram ADHD hashtags, but I can't for the life of me remember who posted it. ANYWAY, ADHD has an unknown for sure cause, but evidence is supporting that it's caused by a lack of the chemical dopamine in the prefrontal cortex of the brain.

There are three (3) types of ADHD!

Yep! You read that right (probably). There is the hyperactive type, the inattentive type, and the combined type.

The hyperactive type is the one most commonly thought of when someone mentions ADHD. They're the ones that seem to have the more impulsive side, however I have the combined type and I have some impulsiveness. So how do write characters with the hyperactive type of ADHD? Here are a few tips:

As stated above, they seem to be the most impulsive. This doesn't mean everyone that's impulsive has ADHD, but oftentimes the hyperactive type is the ones you see blurting out answers in class or inturrupting others.

The hyperactive type is often seen fidgiting. Whether it be with their clothes, a fidgit toy, or whatever. According to my cousin, they have an easier time focusing on things while his hands are fidgiting with something.

This type is more commonly seen in boys than it is girls, and often easier to diagnose as the symptoms are easier to recognize. I have a friend and she has the hyperactive type, so it's definitely possible for girls to have it; it's just less common!

Hyperactivity can also be in the mind! It doesn't always have to be moving around. It can also be having a hyperactive mind.

NOTE: I don't really have this type, so if anyone does and wants to add on or correct me please do so!

The inattentive type has previously gone by ADD, but that is now an outdated term. I have more of this type when it comes to my combined type than the hyperactive, so this one may be explained better with more helpful tips.

While the hyperactive type is more common in boys, the inattentive type is more common in girls. Like above, it's definitely possible for boys to have the inattentive type but it's more common in girls.

Daydreaming a lot is very common with this type. Maladaptive daydreaming is also often co-existant with ADHD and although there isn't evidence to back this up (I don't think), I've always had the idea that MaDD went more in hand with the inattentive type than the others. If you want more information on MaDD, check my other account (in bio)!

Touble focusing, poor hygiene, seeming socially withdrawn, etc. are common symptoms with both types, but considering the test my doctor gave me before diagnosing me I *think* they're more prominant symptoms in this type.

This type is most often diagnosed in your teenage years/adulthood as the symptoms are often mistaken for symptoms of depression and anxiety before they think it's inattentive ADHD.

The combined type has symptoms of both. Also! It isn't always 50% symptoms hyperactive type and the other 50% inattentive, it can be a mixture of percentages.

General Tips

Now that I've covered the different types and the main differences between all of them, here are some general tips! The ones above are more for specific types and so they're things that you may want to include as a way to develop your character more. Anyway, let's gooooooo!

Medicine sucks, okay. I often forget to take it when I don't have school (where I'm tracked down by the nurse if I forget). It has side effects, as well. I originally was on Strattera, but it would make me sleepy throughout the day and it would make it worse rather than better. However, Adderall makes me lose my apetite and my sleep schedule is really messed up. But, it helps! It doesn't affect us the same way it does people without ADHD.

ADHD and austism often go hand in hand. Not always, but oftentimes if a person has ADHD, they also have autism. You may consider putting your character on the autism spectrum if they have ADHD.

People with ADHD stim. There are many types of stimming, and I suggest that you research the types (as well as more research than just what I'm telling you or what other accounts have posted on the subject).

A focusing tip: I personally find it easier to speed up the playback speed on Youtube videos when I have to watch them as well as put closed captioning on. Not really a focusing tip, but it helps me retain the information and it *could* help your character too (remember, everyone is different). If I can't speed it up like that, I'll get out an index card and start drawing.

We go through periods of hyperfocus! This is where we focus on one thing for a lengthy period of time. Oftentimes after this, I personally go through a period of burnout where I find interest in nothing.

Emotions are very intense. Not that they aren't for other people, and I have no clue personally because I'm and empath (see @klenasboba 's post) and I only ever feel others' emotions but my friend and cousin both have very intense emotions. Even more so than the other people I've met.

That's all I know! Please remember, there is a spectrum and everyone experiences it differently. Also, this shouldn't have to be said but please don't self-diagnose based on the information I've told you. If you feel like you may have ADHD, please do more research. If you want to have a character with ADHD but aren't sure if you're writing them right, consider getting a sensitivity reader (see @chcmpagneandsvnshine 's post) and as always for anything like this, do research!!

[onemattwolf]

Movement

Once, when I was 15, the therapist I had at that time asked me if I'd ever considered not pacing. "What do you think will happen if you stopped moving?" She had asked.

This conversation started with me describing my daily pacing routine at school, particularly the pacing I'd do at the end of the day when waiting for my best friend at the time to get ready to leave. She'd take so long to get ready, that standing around and waiting like a "normal" person felt like a death sentence to me. So instead, I'd pace. But, considering her locker was in a narrow hallway, pacing was uncomfortable for not just myself but for others. I would instead do what I considered my "long form" of pacing: I'd walk circuits of the school.

Up the stairs, down the hallway, up the stairs on the other end, repeating on the next floor. And then down, down, down, to see if she was done yet. If she wasn't, I'd do my longer route--up the stairs to the second floor, across the small bridge to the school's extension building, repeat the activity that was done in the main building, and then back over and then down to check on my friend in the basement. Usually, it would take 2 circuits for her to finish. If she promised to be fast that day, i'd head into the barely-used bathroom near her locker, and walk in circles around the stalls. I'd start going so fast, I'd imagine a wind storm picking up and lifting the cluster of stalls up and away.

Later, long past that therapy appointment, I had a new daily circuit that i'd do in my residence building at University. It was an old building, one of the smallest dorms on campus; 3 main floors and a basement, with staircases on either end of each hallway--which was pretty much the same layout as my old highschool. Up and down i'd go when the urge hit. As I'm a creature of routine (once, in Grade 10, my biology teacher was very concerned by my habit of asking to use the washroom literally at the same time every day in first period; I was so consistent she could set her watch to it, and she wanted to know if there was something physically wrong with me), some folks knew my routine and they'd pop out to say "hi" as I sped past. As I wasn't great with the idea of being known (even when it was a bit impossible to not be known there, to some degree, as it was such a small dorm--not to mention that I can be a bit of an odd duck, which often makes me a bit more visible then some), it was a fair bit embarrassing that my circuits were consistent enough that this was something people learnt to expect

Circling back to that therapy appointment, though, I really didn't know how to tell my therapist the truth. What I wanted to tell her was that I equated my drive to pace to that of a shark's need to be in constant motion. Part of me truly believed that if I stopped moving, even for a moment, i'd sink to the bottom of the figurative ocean and cease to be. It was a real enough fear that I was filled with dread even while considering it. The (lie) answer that came out of my mouth was a simple "I don't know" and a shrug.

Even when I'm not pacing, there's some part of me in motion. It took me a while to believe, even after many lectures from my dentist, that wiggling my feet when I'm lying in the dentist's chair actually wiggles my whole body, which is a dangerous thing to do when getting dental work done.

After that, I learnt how to make my mind be the thing in motion, if it was necessary for my body to be still; it allowed me to satiate part of that craving for movement without getting into trouble. It wasn't as satisfying, but if I was in a situation where not a single part of me could move, going on fantasy adventures in my head was an O.K compromise. And, I realized, sometimes I preferred to do that.

From grade 5 onwards my favourite recess activity was to find the perfect spot in the school yard where I could sit comfortably and daydream. I'd sit there for the whole recess, sometimes. The kids at that school often bullied me, so it seemed like a better thing to do as opposed to asking the other kids to play and then being made the butt of some joke instead.

At home, it was a bit of a different situation; my whole family (besides my mom, but she has her own funky head stuff) has ADHD. My brothers and I lean way into the inattentive type--though my second oldest brother presents as more Autistic, the ADHD is also visible in my opinion--while my sister leans more strongly in the hyperactive type. My Dad, on the other hand, swings like a pendulum into both types, but his concurrent, untreated, clinical depression keeps him more mellow. I feel like if they'd put the time into getting tested, their diagnosis' would be as easy as mine was to make--the psychologist who diagnosed me was actually quite shocked that I hadn't been diagnosed yet, as many teachers in my report cards had mentioned that they thought I might have it. Anyways, my family and I all have different sensory issues, and those sensory issues are often at odds with the other's "quirks." For example: the aforementioned brother with Autism likes to hear every single word spoken in a TV show, but, as we both share similar auditory processing issues, that's quite impossible. He's not one to be deterred, though, so his solution is to have the TV volume up SUPER high, and rewind the TV over and over again until he hears that one word he couldn't catch the first time. Personally, the loud TV coupled with the repeating noises can throw me straight into shut down. Crying and yelling just because the TV was too loud is not really appreciated. We now have a compromise that if he wants to do that, he needs to have the earbuds in.

All that said, my pacing in the house really bothered my family. Eventually, my Dad got fed up enough to tell me to "do that outside." This is the same way my chronic gum chewing habbit began--i'd chew on everything, eventually my gum-hating Dad started to give me money for gum so I'd stop chewing everything else.

Thus, my walks began! I'd walk for so long my feet would be completely raw due to always wearing cheap shoes and the friction. I'd walk so long my legs would nearly be numb when I'd come back. Sometimes, when I was at my mom's house and bored of my usual routes, I'd hightail it to the local park to burn some of my pent up energy on the swing set. I'd swing swing swing until my legs would feel like jelly.

I don't walk as often as I should these days; after I lived on the campus of my last college, I lost part of the drive as the campus was legit in the middle of nowhere. Walking around the tiny campus that was surrounded by fields on all sides was pretty boring for someone from a large city, and if I walked into the local woods I knew I'd get lost. Also, honestly, starting testosterone has considerably mellowed me out, and I'm not sure it was supposed to do that. Don't get me wrong, I'm still always moving: rocking back and forth, jiggling a leg, drumming my fingers, etc etc., but, unless I'm trying to progress a story in my head (I'm not sure why movement helps this; when I'm not moving my story plots tend to loop) I feel less of a drive to go and walk like I used to. I mean, there's also a pandemic, which makes the outside feel a bit scarier than normal. But still, I know I need to... My psychiatrist literally prescribed walking as an activity I should do concurrently with my medication.

.

.

.

My god, why did it take me til I was 23 to get diagnosed as ADHD, and then another 2 years to be diagnosed as Autistic???

[twilightofthe]

Anakin Skywalker Has ADHD.  Here’s Why:

I’ve noticed during my time as a neurodivergent person in the Star Wars community that Anakin, a favorite character of mine, displays a lot of neurodivergent traits.  Other people have noticed this too; in particular, @bpdanakins has made a really in depth and detailed post explaining how Anakin having BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) makes a whole lotta sense.  I’ve got ADHD, so this post is gonna be about how I as an ADHD individual see Anakin Skywalker as having ADHD too!!!

Note: Symptoms of ADHD include inability to focus and disorganization.  I have ADHD.  This post is gonna be a wee bit disorganized and I probs won’t be the best at citing a million sources cuz I do not have the mental focus to do that right now.  Thank ye.

So, what is ADHD? (Complicated.  The answer is complicated.) (If you don’t want the general ADHD lecture, just scroll down to where I start talking about Anakin particularly).

ADHD, or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, is a neurological disorder that impairs the brain’s executive functions.  People with ADHD have trouble with impulse-control, focusing, and organization.  Basically, ADHD is a developmental weakness in how the brain manages itself.  I like to picture it like a filing cabinet.  Everyone else’s brain has a neatly sorted, labeled, and organized cabinet full of drawers that contain typical brain executive function commands.  ADHD people’s brains have a monkey in them that runs around screeching loudly, ripping labels off drawers, rearranging stuff, throwing the files everywhere, eating the papers and generally making a gigantic mess, so whatever you need to go to the drawers to look for something, it takes you ten times longer to find the mental command you need to do if it’s even still there-- and also the monkey is biting your leg the entire time.

People tend to say that this monkey infestation is a gift because sometimes, occasionally, the monkey will rearrange the papers in a different, special way that makes a beautiful picture that no one’s seen before and you can share it for the world to enjoy and everything’s great, you’re just quirky!  People tend to forget that it can be like that, but 90% of the time it’s more like the monkey has decided to take a massive shit all over the one specific paper you needed really badly and then put it in front of your foot so you step in it and don’t notice until people point out you’re tracking monkey shit paper everywhere.  Anyway.

ADHD is a complex condition and difficult to diagnose because it has so many different varying symptoms, and one person who has ADHD may experience none of the symptoms than another person who also has ADHD does and vice versa because there is a lot.  ADHD also tends to go unnoticed because it overlaps symptoms with a LOT of other mental illnesses an individual might have, so you might not even know you have ADHD if you’re also, say, autistic or bipolar, or again vice versa, because there’s a lot of “same hat” stuff going on there.  

ADHD also can have its own subcategories of mental illness that can also stand on their own, like ADHD-induced anxiety or ADHD-induced depression.  It can be really confusing to know everything going on in your head and put a label on it; for example for me, my doctors and I think I’ve got a separate anxiety disorder that works on its own that my ADHD makes worse, but that the depressive episodes I can suffer likely stem from my ADHD, and don’t need to be tackled individually or say that I have depression.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) has previously identified three subtypes of ADHD:

Primarily Hyperactive-Impulsive type: Mainly have impulse control problems, tend to be impulsive, impatient, and interrupt others.  They fidget, hate sitting still/need to be in constant movement, tend to blurt out what’s on their mind or do what they feel like without thinking it through.  They’re constantly up with the thoughts in their head and have difficulty focusing on a single task unless they’re in hyperfocus mode (explaining more later)

Primarily Inattentive type:  Are easily distracted and forgetful.  Tend to be daydreamers who lose track of memories and personal items with regularity.

Primarily Combined type: Tend to display a mixture of both symptoms.  I was diagnosed as a child with the combined type but leaning more towards inattentive.

Anakin and Signs of ADHD:

SO.  For starters, I see Anakin as primarily combined type with heavy leanings toward hyperactive-impulsivity.  While this type is used to describe the stereotypical hyper little boy media tends to paint ADHD people as, adults can have it too and I see it a lot in Anakin.  ADHD magazine ADDitude gives examples of adults with h-i ADHD as people who find difficulty in waiting around for anything, interrupt others in conversation, make impulsive decisions, and have reckless driving skills.  Sound at all like someone we know?

Now Anakin absolutely checks all of the above boxes, but it’s way more than that, though.  I looked up Healthline’s basic signs and symptoms of Adult ADHD, and I am going to run down the list to show how basically all of them apply to Anakin Skywalker in one way or another.  Let’s begin!

Anakin and LACK OF FOCUS:  ADDitude suggests that saying ADHD people don’t have attention might be a bit misleading.  More accurately, ADHD people have tons of attention, we just can’t harness it in the right direction at the right time with any consistency.  In canon, it is made very clear to us very early on that Anakin has issues with some of the more spiritual aspects of Jedi training, like meditation, because he does not possess the focus necessary to concentrate.  We get other times when Anakin’s on missions with Obi Wan, where it is made clear Anakin has read the mission brief, but he hasn’t done a good job on it as he’s overlooked something.  He gets distracted while in diplomatic situations and Obi Wan needs to tell him to pay attention.  Palpatine is able to pull sketchy shit because he knows how to slip under Anakin’s radar while he’s not too focused on him.  Anakin isn’t always aware of his surroundings, seeing as how basically everyone who knows him knows about Padmé because he’s not good at being subtle; he’s not good at reading a room.  Canon has established that Anakin, while brilliant, has a very flighty attention span and unless it’s something that is deeply important to him or made glaringly obvious, his brain has a tendency to skip over it, and makes him less aware.

Anakin and HYPERFOCUS:  The flip side of ADHD focus issues.  While our brains don’t always want to pay attention to important rules or other peoples’ emotions or basically anything presented to us that we find boring in any shape or form, if we find something we like, we LATCH.  ON.  And we cannot stop concentrating on it, up until the point that we lose track of time and ignore others around us.  In canon, it is shown very easily what Anakin hyperfocuses on.  He’s described in several SW books and is shown in show and movies to completely go into a zone when in combat mode.  He’s good at it, he enjoys it, and saber skills is easily something that he can concentrate and get lost in.  Another obvious one is mechanics.  We see briefly in TCW and bits in the movies where when Anakin is fixing something or piloting something, he kind of drifts away from reality-- he’s got an ear on the situation if there’s danger of course, but he goes just solidly into Tech Mode where all he concentrates on is whatever he’s fixing/piloting at the moment, and that’s why he’s so skilled at what he does.  It’s also possible to hyperfocus on specific ideas or opinions, which you can see in basically every argument Anakin ever gets into with someone.  He’s like a dog with a bone on a topic he wants to discuss Right Now This Very Second and he will not let it go, nor will he allow you to either, because when we hyperfocus, our fixation can bleed into conversation until it takes control of the conversation, without us even knowing we’re doing it, so it can be surprising/embarrassing when someone points out we’re doing it. 

Anakin and DISORGANIZATION:  ADHD people basically struggle with organizational skills.  While we don’t see much of Anakin’s living spaces, we can see from the brief TCW snippets that his living quarters are a little cluttered.  However, he does run a relatively neat army-- though we don’t know how much of that has Rex, Ahsoka, Obi Wan, or someone else to thank for it.  In Anakin, most of the disorganization we see is in his mind.  Priorities can be an issue for ADHD people, and Anakin tends to prioritize the wrong thing at the wrong time at certain points.  He doesn’t always know what to say or how to say it, making him awkward and not very eloquent when speaking.

Anakin and TIME MANAGEMENT PROBLEMS: An issue that goes hand-in-hand with disorganization.  We have trouble using time effectively.  We procrastinate on things we don’t want to do, show up late, ignore things we consider boring, and the idea of the future or the past is overwhelming and or scary to us and can cause panic-- we need to focus on the now and the now alone because if we try to cross that bridge before we get to it, we might end up burning it.  All throughout TCW, we get Obi Wan in particular, but others as well, harping on Anakin for showing up late.  And, uh, he kinda does.  He makes it, he always does, but it’s always at the last minute just when everyone’s worried he’s not gonna show up.  He sometimes doesn’t go to important meetings.  He puts off paperwork.  Lots of people use all of this to make fun of him, be like “ah, he’s a bad Jedi, he’s lazy”, but like, that’s standard ADHD time management issues.  And fear of the future?  Hoo boy...  Anakin may handle his fears of the future in the literal worst way possible, but that overwhelming anxiety that everything’s rushing at you so fast and holy shit, you don’t have your shit together NOW, what the hell are you gonna do THEN, holy shit holy shit everyone’s gonna DIE PANIC PANIC DANGER PANIC--  Like, I get that.  I really do.  Fear of the future and inability to manage time overlap a lot.

Anakin and FORGETFULNESS:  ADHD have a tendency to forget important stuff, but here is where I remind y’all that not all ADHD people experience all the same symptoms, because Anakin actually has a really damn good memory.  Boy is sharp, he recalls really obscure stuff, and if you piss him off/do him a favor, he’s remembering that to his deathbed. Anakin, however, does display what is common in ADHD people, having a selective memory.  This goes hand in hand with our attention issues.  We remember what we focused on and that sticks in our mind: hopes, fears, interests, stuff like that.  Anything else?  Eh, if we didn’t notice it then, we’re not noticing it five years from then, or even five minutes from then.  That you can see in Anakin, where people like Ahsoka and Obi Wan have to teasingly remind him of important stuff that he tends to just shrug off like “oh yeah that thing that I didn’t care about then and don’t really care about now”, or he feels guilty cuz “oops I didn’t notice it then so now I’m lost”

Anakin and IMPULSIVITY: Aight y’all, this probably requires the least amount of explanation for Anakin Skywalker cuz the Star Wars narrative calls him impulsive like every ten seconds xD  ADHD people with impulsivity can be socially inappropriate (Anakin, always managing to say the wrong thing at the wrong time, king of escalating tense situations because he blurts out whatever he feels like), interrupt others (something Padmé and Ahsoka have both canonically called him on doing, he does it to plenty of others as well, Vader does it all the damn time by just force-choking people silent), rushing through tasks (”Oh Anakin, always on the move”.  He does not wait, he makes up plans as he goes, he’s constantly in motion), ACTING WITHOUT MUCH CONSIDERATION TO THE CONSEQUENCES (Examples: The entirety of Star Wars episodes 1-6, Star Wars: The Clone Wars)

Anakin and EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS: Alright, maybe THIS is the one that requires the least amount of explanation, haha.  ADHD peoples’ emotions seem constantly in flux.  We get bored easily and need constant entertainment. (Anakin running off doing crazy stuff seemingly for fun)  Small frustrations always feel like the end of the world because it takes over our entire brain. (Anakin being “overdramatic/overreacting”)  The slightest sense of rejection or negativity towards our ideas or anything we do can read as total hatred (this is called Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, it SUCKS) so we’re oversensitive about criticism of basically anything.  RSD also means we’re paranoid that we’re not noticing other people’s emotions, so we always tend to worry everyone else hates us or our friends are going to leave us-- we have serious abandonment issues. (Basically all of Anakin worrying about the Jedi’s image of him, worrying about Padmé and Obi Wan loving him, freaking out over Ahsoka leaving, etc.)  Our mind is focusing on a million things at once so our emotions run super quickly, causing what looks like mood swings because in the time it takes someone to get surprised, we’ve already gone through surprise, confusion, realization, betrayal, fury, and sadness and are now “randomly” crying in front of you (Anakin and his mood swings).  Focus issues make us not realize that something we’re doing is upsetting/bothering someone unless they flat out say it, so we may seem mean/inconsiderate/careless (ok, not excusing that part of Anakin’s personality is that he’s just kind of a dick lol, but other stuff that he does seems accidental; he doesn’t want to hurt anyone he loves).

Anakin and POOR SELF-IMAGE:  HOOOO BOY THIS IS GONNA BE FUN!  So adults with ADHD are often hypercritical of themselves, which can lead to a poor self-image.  I do this a lot, and I can’t really explain why, just that I am frustrated with myself and need validation from outside sources.  Anakin verbally expresses this to Padmé and Palpatine in Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith especially with all his “I’m not the Jedi I’m supposed to be” bits, how he constantly puts pressure on himself in the novels to be “the very best, I have to be better than everyone, I SHOULD be”, the conflict with that Chosen One label and whether he believes it or not and the pressure he feels from others to fulfill it, to be the Hero With No Fear when he’s fucking terrified all the time.  He’s relentlessly hard on himself for his failures and is always looking for an insult in others’ words (Like if Obi Wan gives him gentle concrit, Anakin will subconsciously tear it apart to turn it into how Obi Wan has found an error with all of him and hates him and Anakin sucks). For all his pride in his abilities, Anakin really does not like himself, poor dear, and seeks outside validation in Padmé, Palpatine, and Obi Wan.

Anakin and LACK OF MOTIVATION: Also ties back to focus issues again, if we don’t like it, our brain won’t focus on it, and we can’t convince ourselves to do it.  We can see this in times where Anakin has to be gently (or not so gently) prodded by Obi Wan or Ahsoka or someone into doing some Jedi business Anakin considers annoying.

Anakin and RESTLESSNESS AND ANXIETY: It’s described as our “motor won’t shut off”.  We always need to keep moving and doing things, and we get frustrated when we can’t do something immediately.  There are also bodily tics with fidgeting or frequent hand movements.  We see this several times with Anakin during wartime, where he’s practically vibrating over having to play the long waiting game instead of rushing in and getting the job done immediately (See: on Naboo where Anakin is pacing a hole into the floor and Obi Wan is telling him to kindly chill pls).  Part of his issues in ROTS happen when he’s worked himself up into a frenzy over sitting not knowing what to do over what’s scaring him so he jumps the gun and goes with the first available (awful) option.  I don’t remember if this is Hayden or if this is me projecting, sorry, but I always feel that when I watch Hayden in the movies, he always portrays Anakin as vaguely squirmy/fidgety, not really ever sitting PERFECTLY still, like he’s always moving some body part, fiddling with something in his hands or on his clothes.  In TCW and the OT especially, we see how hand-wavey he is when he talks, especially when he’s pissed, then the Finger Wag Of Doom comes out, but his hands are ALWAYS in motion.

Anakin and FATIGUE: It’s as the word describes it, we feel tired.  All the craziness in our head is overwhelming and we just.  Feel.  Tired.  We don’t see this as clearly in Anakin because all the Jedi seem fatigued, they’re fighting a fucking hopeless war, but it’s definitely there.  He has sleeping problems with his dreams and nightmares that spawn from his anxiety that could easily be ADHD-induced; they’re there.

Anakin and HEALTH PROBLEMS: Long story short, it’s basically all your ADHD issues making you neglect to take care of yourself.  We see how Anakin has unhealthy coping mechanisms, neglects sleep, and throws himself into reckless, dangerous situations.  He does not take care of himself very well at all.

Anakin and RELATIONSHIP ISSUES:  Ruh roh...  Aight, so all of the symptoms above can very obviously prove to be hurdles in professional, romantic, or platonic situations.  We can see how all the above examples in Anakin have in one way or another caused an argument between himself and basically everyone he loves (Obi Wan, Padmé, Ahsoka), people he has to work with (the Jedi council, anyone he gets assigned to on a mission), and anyone else.  He’s not called a human disaster for no reason, his actions can make him rub people very much the wrong way, and being kind of lonely and awkward and with not many friends is unfortunately a common occurrence in the lives of ADHD people (It happened to me, and I would consider myself much more of a pleasant individual than Anakin (no offense, hon), other people who met me just thought I was “strange” and that was that).

WHEW.  So yes, all of the above state my reasons why I think Anakin Skywalker has ADHD (as well as anxiety, but that’s another post).  Please remember once more that these are MY EXPERIENCES AS AN INDIVIDUAL WITH ADHD and that once again, NOT ALL ADHD PEOPLE SHARE THE SAME EXPERIENCES/SYMPTOMS

I will give the two articles I bothered fact-checking with below, the one from Healthline and from ADDitude

If y’all wanna talk more about ADHD!Anakin or any other ADHD Star Wars characters or just neurodivergent Star Wars character headcanons with me, my inbox and DM’s are always open, I love talking about this!!!!!!!!!

[rock-speaks]

OKAY OKAY RANDOM HEADCANON TIME!!!

Louie

- autistic with ADHD overlap

- Inattentive

- the longest he’s slept for was 25 hours

- Deep as hell sleeper takes him at least and hour or two to come to full control

- Has 0 filter will literally say whatever comes to his mind regardless of how mean it may be or how crazy it might sound

- Talks to himself a crazy amount

- Louie has a banging TikTok where he just flexes and makes fun of Scrooge

- Louie has a huge social media presence in general he keeps it on the down low nobody knows about it and Louie would like to keep it that way

- Louie is a picky eater but eats all the time constantly snacking if the pantry is empty it was probably Louies doing

- He probably watches shitty movies and claims it’s too make fun of them but he really just likes them

- Probably really good at impressions his favorite person too make fun of is Huey

- Definitely needs therapy

- Secretly a big sap for romance those cliche movies where lovers embrace in the rain? Louies weakness

- Him and Lena are definitely super close not as close as Lena is too Webby but they’re still besties

- Prank king

- Sometimes just too “see what will happen” he tells people fake facts they almost always believe him (except for Huey) because why would they not? He has no idea why he does this but he hasn’t shown any signs of stopping

- Whenever he’s alone with Scrooge he says oddly cryptic and strange things no body knows why, sometimes not even Louie

- I imagine all the nephews have really curly hair Louies the only one who doesn’t straighten his hair

- Excellent judge of character

- Wise ass

Huey

- autistic!!!

- Will bring up the fact that he’s the oldest sibling in conversations that have nothing to do with it

- He’s probably a big saver and is definitely a person who has a penny collection

- Big collector!!! I swear he probably uses one of Scrooge’s unused rooms too keep foliage and rocks that he found

- He’s definitely got great posture

- Huey will randomly bring up a random memory if it somehow resurfaces to his mind no one knows how he remembers half this stuff and sometimes he brings up stuff they’d wish he’d forgotten

- Has definitely never said anything he didn’t mean

- Never says “I promise” if he knows he can’t do it

- Huey really just wants to be good at everything he tries so when he isn’t he just kinda gives up on it

- So obviously Huey isn’t a “practice makes perfect” kind of kid he’s more the “if it’s not right the first time scrap it and never try again”

- Huey probably holds himself to such a high standard and puts so much stress on himself to always be perfect

- Loyalty to the fuckin end

- Him and Lena get into “fights” all the time Lena is constantly trying to fuck with Huey and he’s just not here for it (yet another reason why her and Louie make such an insufferable team)

- Bad at video games

- Definitely takes the most after Donald in the sense that he’s so fucking rage full and I mean full Donald rage like fists flying in the air shouting with a red face type angry

- Needs fucking therapy and definitely has anxiety

- Has a bad sense of humor and laughs at everything part of the reason Dewey and Louie think they’re so funny

- Only has his one iPad and really only uses it for planning and other nerd stuff

- All fruits are Hueys favorite fruits but his favorites are blue berries

- Has a celebrity crush on Gizmoduck

Dewey

- This was pretty much confirmed murder on killmotor hill but he’s bisexual

- Long Huey shows up in his nightmares

- Always the first to start a pillow fight

- Has abandonment issues needs therapy

- Secretly listens to punk music and only Donald knows and he couldn’t be more proud (I wrote this before Louies eleven came out!! Lmao canon!!!)

- Loves to draw even though he probably sucks at it

- Dewey is totally the kid that will literally do anything for validation jump off the roof too seem cool? He’d do it in a heart beat

- Pretends not too care but he totally does

- Dewey is ADHD personalized never stops moving never stops talking something is seriously wrong when he’s quiet

- This is technically canon but he’s so petty

- Dewey is the type of guy who would NEVER ask for directions no matter how lost

- Speaking of he was probably the triplet to get lost the most

- Dewey loves robots like loves loves LOVES robots his dream is to learn to code and learn mechanics and build one him and Huey and him used to do those little “build your own robot kits” when they were younger

- Dewey has like 50 different dream jobs

- Launchpad has turned him into a hardcore darkwing duck fan

- THEATER KID

- Sort of forces himself to be an extrovert

Webby

- Webby loves to draw

- Has definitely cosplayed

- Knows about Louies secret social media accounts but he doesn’t need to know that

- You’re trying to keep something from Webby? What a joke

- Webby knows pretty much every ancient language

- Webby doesn’t know what a joke is and takes everything literally

- Definitely writes fan fictions

- Autistic

- Stims with her whole body excited jumping and screaming constantly

- Probably orally fixated out everything in her mouth

- Sometimes forgets things she literally just did or said often she asks “wait what did I just say?”

- Favorite movie? Men in black for sure

- Has always secretly wanted to be in a play

- If Scrooge says anything nice to her she thinks about it weeks after even if it’s something as small as “thank you”

- Feels really bad for glomgold and just really wants him to be happy

- Webby is cuddle central doesn’t matter when or where or who

- It kind of bothers her that Lena seems to always take Louies side

- HATES CONFRONTATION will console a friend in a heart beat but never NEVER EVER wants to fight

- Bad with social cues due to her ASD luckily she has the triplets and Lena and Violet to help her out in bad situations

- If no one stops her will talk about one thing for hours Lena always lets her

- Probably knows how to play like a shit ton of instruments

- Really likes cooking but she sucks at it Scrooge ate her cooking once to make her happy but promptly through it up when she left

- Was definitely a lego kid

Lena

- If any elderly woman tries to touch her she flips due to magicas abuse good thing she’s got two gay dads now

- Loves Violet so much and thanks her every night before bed

- After extensive therapy that was suggested by Violet had the rest of her friends she’s able to look at her own shadow again even if sometimes it really freaks her out

- Lena is a lesbian 100% open about it

- Wishes she were a vampire and definitely reads those dumb vampire/werewolf stories

- Really likes that she’s taller than all her friends uses that against her Huey fucking hates her for it

- Her favorite crime is arson

- Because she’s a rebellious teen her and officer M’ma have had a few run ins

- Shes probably never actually been to Paris but rather said that to impress Webby

- Lenas the type of emo to cover her face in every picture of her

- Has always cut her hair herself and when her friends talk about wanting to cut their hair she does it for them trying to convince them to let her dye it the whole time

- Lenas is responsible for most of the graffiti in duckburg

- Loves Launchpad she thinks it’s really fun to tell him stuff that isn’t true and he’s cool when she tells him she was just joking

- Has always secretly wanted to be a florist

- Loves licorice

- Magica probably didn’t intend for her to have a personality or a life at all really so Lena definitely picked the name herself

- Magicas not really controlling her nightmares anymore but she’s still very much in them they’ve gotten better but they still happen every so often

- Sometimes if she’s sitting on the couch and someone’s sitting right in front of her she kicks them in the head not hard but enough to bother them

- Probably can’t read

- She probably doesn’t have an official birthday so she doesn’t really understand the celebration of one one day Webby the triplets and Violet surprised her with a birthday

Violet

- in my head Duckula and Von goosewing will always be her parents

- Violets favorite thing to research is definitely trees

- Weak ass immune system probably gets sick all the time

- Definitely dresses however see feels on her off days she throws people off when she shows up ripped jeans and leather jackets

- Her biggest pet peeve is when anyone does anything loud

- Violet has been teaching things that Lena wasn’t taught since she never got a traditional education

- Violet is still a hard core skeptic despite having a sister made of shadows and a father who is a vampire

- Her hair is always a frizzy mess so she chooses never to do anything with it and just keeps it in a bun

- Really doesn’t get any memes ever

- Violet is probably a very low key germaphobe

- Pokemon is her favorite game and she knows all the originals and is a pro at all the games

-Huey and her do that thing we’re neither of you are fighting but rather both talking loudly that makes people think “oh it’s getting pretty heated over there”

[gburph]

I'm feeling very frustrated right now. Few months ago I suspected that I have an ADHD.

For my whole life I've heard that I live in my own world, or that I'm stupid or weird. I forget important things all the time, I forget what I was talking about, what I've eaten that day, or what I was just talking about. Sometimes I put my pencil down for a moment while drawing and next thing I know is that I can't find it anywhere. When I'm arguing with my fiancee I keep forgetting what he was talking, or what point I was trying to make. I forget what my customers were looking for in my shop right after they tell me. I forget to give them a receipt. My employer tells me all the time that I'm inattentive and she's complaining about that often. I tend to skip through important emails, or I don't notice them and because of that sometimes I don't do most important tasks of the day. She is a rather calm person that don't yell at me and don't insult me when I make mistakes but I know that someday she is going to replace me because enough is enough.

I'm bored all the time. There is many things that interests me but I'm getting bored halfway through reading about them. I don't finish interesting books, or tv shows, or even movies because of that. I'm soo bored but starting new things is pure torture. I skip through even short movies. I play simple games while watching things because if I don't than I become too bored halfway through and pause. I don't finish it at all most of the time.

My fiancee is the only person besides my family, friends from uni, and coworkers that I see regularly. The last time I went out with a friend outside work or uni was two years ago. I'm exhausted, I'm bored. I don't know what I'm even doing at uni anymore. I think that I just don't want to dissappoint my fiancee or family at this point. Because uni would be another thing that I started and didn't finish in recent years. I'm always talking big about my plans but I'm quickly becoming bored with everything. I hate myself because of that. I've progressively gotten worse because even tho I wasn't very active as a kid I was doing more than now.

I've read somewhere on someone's Facebook that ADHD had two different sides. That sometimes people have inattentive ADHD and don't know about that, because quiet people are not often associated with ADHD. I've read about problems with concentration, about problems with remembering things and so on. That people with ADHD could just stare through the window all day long and I was shocked. This is what I was doing all my life when I was in school. I could stare through window for hours doing nothing. I wasn't hearing what people were saying. Sometimes when I was reading or doing something I liked I was losing hours and people had trouble trying to get me out of that state. I thought that maybe this is what is wrong with me. Maybe I just have some problem, that doesn't mean I'm worthless.

Because of that I went to psychiatrist and I tried to get a diagnosis or at least opinion what is wrong with me. Is there some real issue with me or if I'm just lazy, stupid, worthless piece of shit I always thought I am. I made a list of things I do that looks like ADHD symptoms. When I was in doctor office I was trying to stay on point and despite that I forgot most of the things I wanted to say. But I wanted to be very professional so I explained everything the best I could. I even showed my psychiatrist a note from my old teacher form primary school saying that I am quite smart but very inattentive (I found it in my very old school stuff I had). She said that I don't look like someone with ADHD, that she haven't observed anything like that in me through conversation but she is going to check how testing for ADHD looks like and if she can arrange that in a way that won't be too expensive for me. In the meantime I had to note how often I lose concentration because I couldn't quantify how often that happens. Mostly because of my bad memory. I can't say that I lost concentration if I don't remember it. She said to call a reception after three days because she will leave information regarding ADHD test for me. I called and heard that a doctor haven't left any information. I called after a week and still nothing. After that I lost any strength I had regarding ADHD diagnosis. Few days ago I started thinking about it again and even found psychiatrists specializing in adult ADHD. If someone have read thorough this post - do you thing that it is worth a shot? It would cost a little but I think I can manage but I don't know if it is worth it.

[daxieoclock]

ok shay you dont understand i was literally scrambling through our messages on discord to find a dissidia link and now i cant pick between the kairi reunion with sora and the namixi bed sharing scene so you gotta pick for me

jdhfbghjgb Enu you absolute sweetheart thank you for the ask

they’re both kinda short scenes though sooooo por que no los dos djhfgbjh

Kairi reunion scene is in chapter 10 and the Namixi scene is in chapter 14

She'd only been there twice before, both times after Xehanort's defeat, but Kairi instantly recognized Terra, Aqua and Ventus's home: the quintuple towers and golden chains of the Land of Departure.

I don’t remember if I ever articulated what both of those times were in my head, but it’s a HC that just felt right hehe.

And there, sitting on the bottom steps leading up to the front door, was Sora.

He hopped up as soon as he saw her, that stupid grin all over his face, and then Kairi's eyes blurred over and her feet pounding against the stone courtyard.

"It's so good–" he said, and she cut him off by punching him as hard as she possibly could in the shoulder. "OW!"

Kairi’s anger, frustration and just general emotion is something I had a lot of fun exploring in DKH, and something I definitely want to do more of if I ever return to KH writing (still undecided on that). As much as I love the comedy beat of the pissed-off reunion, it’s an honest feeling I think, to be both overjoyed and infuriated by someone at the same time. And it definitely fits my interpretation of where Kairi – who has been incessantly damseled, left behind and sacrificed-for – is at this moment in her arc. Furious and bitter and just wanting to drag her dumbass bffs/bfs to safety whether they like it or not.

"It's so good–" he said, and she cut him off by punching him as hard as she possibly could in the shoulder. "OW!"

"You absolute, goddamn, stupid idiot!" Kairi shrieked. "Do you have any idea how worried I was? How worried Riku was?"

For whatever reason this makes me think of the very beginning of the story, with Riku lying awake thinking of Sora. Like...yeah. Yeah he was. And on that note, as much as I missed Sora’s presence in the story, I absolutely loved the chance to expand on Riku and Kairi’s friendship/relationship (it’s complicated; when is it ever not?) without him there. I wanted to emphasize both how much they care about each other, and how much Sora’s absence is felt nearly constantly.

"Probably," Sora said, sheepish, massaging his shoulder.

"We had to try and explain to your parents how you....you vanished into thin air, but how it's actually completely okay because you did it to save my life!"

I don’t know that I’ll ever focus too much on any of the KH characters’ biological families, but I think the Destiny trio are the closest to actually Having Any Sort Of Bond with their parents. We’ve got a vague idea of Kairi’s home life – adopted daughter of the mayor, and I’ve extrapolated her dad is kind of absent – but none of Riku’s and only the fact that Sora has a mom. But the idea of Kairi and Riku returning to the island alone, having to break the news to Sora’s parents, just stuck in my head when I was writing this.

She didn't know who embraced who first. But she was in his arms then, and he was in hers, and she squeezed him so close, so goddamn tightly.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Just hold me," she said. "Just shut up and hold me."

I think this is just a sweet moment tbh djhfgbj.

"Your hair looks longer," Kairi said, finally. They were sitting on the steps together. Her eyes had cleared, but she wasn't ready to leave this moment. "And you're missing a button on your jacket."

"Oh." Sora ran a hand through his hair in that absentminded way that he did. He laughed. "I hadn't noticed."

Liar. She knew him well enough to know when he was putting on a front, and he definitely was now. But she wasn't much better, she had refused to point out the bags under his eyes, the greyish pallor of his tan skin, the way his blue eyes seemed darker than she remembered. She couldn't speak those details, as if silence would make them go away, as if she could will away the scuff from his shoes and the dullness from the little metal crown that hung around his neck. He reminded her of how Aqua had looked after they'd rescued her, so relieved but yet so exhausted. It was the impact of that much time spent alone, that much time spent wandering, spent lost and far away from the ones you love. Kairi's grip on Sora's hand tightened.

I will never forgive Nomura’s cowardice to not show the physical, kinda traumatizing toll that years of isolation in the RoD took on Aqua. 0.8 delved into it slightly, but only in the most surface-level way. And judging by what we’ve seen from Re:Mind and MoM, the same sort of surface-level emotion is going to be applied to Sora’s ‘death’ as well. He’s almost definitely going to come out of a YEAR of complete isolation being just as chipper and bright-eyed as he’s always been, and that is something I wanted to rectify here.

I love the KH cast and I love seeing them challenged, and love watching them grow. There’s not quite enough Sora in DKH to grasp the full extent of how he’s changed after his ‘death,’ but I’d like to think we do see that he HAS changed. It’s something I touched on more directly during Riku’s reunion with Sora, but it’s present here as well.

"So, who's your friend?" He motioned with his head towards the Spirit-Namine, who sat patiently on her haunches.

"Sora, it's me," she said with a little laugh. "It's Namine."

"Oh." Sora stared at the Spirit-Namine for a moment, the gears straining in his head, and then he looked over his shoulder up the stairs, then back at her with a confused expression on his face. "Wait, weren't you sleeping inside? Why are you here and a cat? How are you here and a cat?"

But of course, even after that sort of trauma, Sora is still Sora. He’s still a goober and a softie, and I didn’t want to abandon those traits for the sake of angst.

Sora had never been very comfortable with silence, she noticed him starting to shift and adjust next to her.

ADHD Sora rights.

Kairi kept catching herself holding her breath, waiting for him to vanish or the floor to give way or her alarm to wake her up. Waiting for something to drag him away again.

He looked over his shoulder at her and smiled. "I'm not going anywhere, you know," he said.

Kairi spluttered. "What...who...shut up!" She stared at the ground, cheeks flushed, unable to acknowledge out loud that he'd read her so well.

I haven’t decided if Sora’s surprising emotional perceptiveness is a new aspect of his character or something he’s always had that hasn’t been highlighted well, but it’s definitely an interpretation of him I enjoy. Like, yeah, he’s impulsive and inattentive and kind of rude on occasion, but he’s also showed some moments of being able to read people with shocking accuracy. I think that’s a skill some Keyblade wielders have, a sort of magical hyper-empathy, and Sora definitely has it in spades without even trying.

And briefly before we go into Namixi (and speaking OF Namixi)

Xion glanced at Sora and Kairi from the middle chair and threw up a peace sign. "Hey, what's up?" Her outfit had also changed a lot since Kairi saw her last, she had on a pair of loose black cargo shorts and a pullover hoodie, her black hair swept to one side and tucked behind her right ear. Honestly, she looked a lot happier, a lot freer.

Butch Xion is absolutely the hill I will die on this gal is 100% loves girls and presenting in nonconforming ways.

Namine, laying against Xion, her eyes closed and her expression peaceful.

Xion looked down at Namine as she noticed Kairi's stare. "Oh, yeah, I'm uh...keeping her safe? Cause she can't move when doing her spell, and uh, probably more comfortable than laying on this ground or something right?" She forced a laugh. "Yeah."

Namine, who absolutely has ulterior motives: “I’m going to be unconscious while using this spell and I’d rather not wake up sore, so maybe you could hold me while I’m using it? I’d make me feel safer too.”

Xion, who is gay as shit and forgot about the fact this castle has beds in it: “Yes absolutely I will totally hold you for as long as you need Namine wow yes that sounds great I’m on board heck yeah.”

*************

And with that introduction let’s hop right into the dedicated Namixi scene shall we.

Namine heard her door open, then close. She didn't move, just kept staring straight ahead, lying on her side in the bed, her heart beating staccato on the inside of her chest. A quiet bump of collision in the dark.

"Ow!" Xion muttered. "Stupid bed."

No good confession scene is complete with at least a couple comedy beats.

Her eyes probably had to adjust to the dark still, which Namine was thankful for, considering the fact she was probably blushing up a storm at the moment. "Are you okay?" She sounded so concerned, oh light.

Gentlebutch Xion strikes again. I refuse to see her as anything but very polite towards pretty gals (and Namine is very pretty gal in her humble opinion).

"I'm fine," Namine said, quickly. "I just...." She reached out to take Xion's hand, but hesitated, and just let her own fall back onto the mattress. "Wanted to see you, I guess."

"Oh," Xion said. Relief. Namine started when she felt Xion's fingers brushing against her hand. "Shit, sorry, sorry."

"No, no." Namine laughed, and took Xion's hand. "Thank you. This is really nice."

The eternal sapphic dance of being terrified of overstepping and desperate to express your affection at the same time. Also I have said it before and I will say it again: The Gay Gals Love Hands. Idk what it is but sapphic attraction is like 75% hand-holding it’s ridiculous.

Xion opened her eyes again, those gorgeous purple eyes.

Changing characters’ eye color is sort of a running theme in my fics I suppose, though it doesn’t ALWAYS come up. Xion’s purple eyes is something I saw once and got stuck in my brain forever. I have no idea who came up with it or why it’s something that apparently a decent chunk of Xion fans hc for her, but it sure is what we’ve decided on haha.

Three words. That's it. So easy, just three words. Just say it. Say it. "When you found out Sora was here, and decided to go after him." Coward.

Namine, like most of the female cast of KH, has basically no outwards emotion and very little development. For whatever reason, I’ve fixated on an interpretation of her as someone who expresses her emotions in unconventional ways, spends a lot of time overthinking things, protects herself by exaggerating her personality around others while also being terrified of hurting people the way she was forced to hurt Sora. It’s sort of funny to see a very similar personality come up around my interpretations of Haru Okumura in Deja Vu, but Namine definitely expresses her post-trauma identity a lot softer, less formal but still so very careful.

Anyway that’s a lot of words to say that she self-loathes and picks her words incredibly carefully and that contrasts really interestingly with the more impulsive, emotion-driven Xion. They’re a good fit for each other C:

"You can get under the covers too, if you like."

"Oh, I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable."

Please stop being a gentlewoman and take the hint. "I want you to," Namine said. Was that too firm? Too bossy?

"Oh!" Xion smiled, and threw the comforter over herself in an instant. Guess it was fine.

More of that aforementioned dynamic.

"This is very good. I'm happy."

"I'm glad," Xion said. "I...like making you happy."

Namine had to inhale deeply at that. It wasn't easy to confess when the girl kept taking her breath away.

I really like the idea in general that it takes so long for Namine to tell Xion how she feels because Xion just keeps doing really sweet things or being kind of romantic but not really making the space for that confession, and Namine just gets flustered and puts it off.

Three words. Just three. Just say them. Namine took a deep breath. "I, uh. I..." She felt a sob welling up in her throat. Light, why was this so difficult, why couldn't she just tell Xion–

Her lips were on hers. Namine couldn't breathe, could barely think for the screaming of her heart in her ears. Xion broke the kiss, looking so very embarrassed. "Sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean–"

Namine reached up and pressed a finger to Xion's lips, cutting her off before she could apologize any more. "Um," she said, "kiss me again?"

And Xion nodded, and Namine let her finger fall, let Xion lean in and kiss her again. And she squeezed her hand so tightly and kissed her back.

So not really a confession but Xion DID get the hint. Once more: Xion’s impulsiveness makes things both very difficult and much easier for Namine. And I think I like the fact that she ends up deciding to just go along with that impulsiveness, just let go of her plan and kiss the gal she’s been pining for, and stop beating herself up about the words she can’t say yet. It’s sweet hehe.

[marvinhasadhd]

Okay, so I got my prescription about two weeks ago and since then I have already tried Ritalin a few times.

I started with half a pill (so 5mg) and didn’t feel anything. My doctor advised me to do my next attempt on the next day, but I am chronically bad at listening to medical professionals, so I tried a whole pill (or 10mg) on the afternoon of the same day I tried the first one.

I decided to take it, because our work had been cancelled (I currently work as a security at events which are hosted by our city) and so someone had to wait until the security who worked the night shift arrived. I really need the money, so I volunteered to sit around for a few hours and I decided to take the full pill and try reading for a bit, as thats something where I often struggle with being inattentive and getting distracted by just about everything.

And it kinda helped. I just sat down and read for over an hour without looking at my phone or getting distracted in any other way. I used to read a lot as a child, but since the age of 12-13 I slowly stopped reading as much because I could rarely ever focus on the book for longer times, so reading became a bit frustrating, as I now took days, weeks or sometimes even months to finish books which would have taken me hours when I was younger (one of my biggest achievements as a child was that I finished the whole HarryPotter-Series in just one weekend).

So yeah, that was a nice experience. I tried it again two days later, as I wanted to try studying for university, but this time I tried 1,5 pills (so 15mg) and I didn’t feel much difference to the 10mg. I still couldn’t quite focus on the stuff I had to learn and I kept getting distracted by things around me, especially by the clutter on my desk. I really felt the need to do something about that and so I cleaned my desk. And once my desk was finally free of everything that didn‘t belong there, I cleaned the floor, the kitchen, the bathroom, I did my laundry and I collected all the cat toys and also cleaned all the places my cats like to hang out in of their hair. Once that was done, I tried to learn again and I noticed that I could focus a bit better, but most importantly I noticed that I just managed to keep my focus on doing a cleaning of the whole flat without making any breaks to watch youtube or check twitter or anything. I didn’t even think about my phone, while I did all that. That was kinda crazy, as just about everyone who knows me would describe me as a perfect example of a smartphone-addicted person.

The next day, I tried to learn again and I took two whole pills (aka 20mg or the maximum dosis my doctor allowed me to do before I visit her again) and I noticed that while I could actually focus better, I would also focus very strongly on anything that distracted me. I found one of my cats toys (a self-made mouse) had been ripped and while I was already trying to focus on learning, I just had to get my sewing kit and repair the mouse before I could even think about anything else. So my focus became much better, but also I would focus very strongly on any possible distraction.

The next day my girlfriend arrived and so I didn‘t take Ritalin for a few days, as I know that she isnt too big of a fan of it (that one Netflix-documentary apparently made Ritalin seem like its pure crystal meth) and also I think I shouldn’t need stimulants to be able to focus on my girlfriend. I love her and I always try to give her my fullest attention, so I let the pills in my medicine-cabinet.

Once she was gone again (she has a summer-job in another state, so we only see each other for a few days each week), I tried studying again and so I took two pills in the morning, cleaned my whole learning environment before the effects kicked in and then I actually was able to focus nicely on cell-biology. And ya know, what can I say about that except „The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell“?

Later that day, when the effects already had worn off, I noticed that I also experienced the so-called rebound effect (=symptoms being a bit stronger than usual once the effects of the medication wore off), but as I wanted to continue studying, I decided to take two more pills. So I went to the bathroom, took one, noticed that I had to clean the cat-toilet, cleaned it, forgot that I had already taken one and took two. So I was at 3 whole pills or 30mg of Methylphenidate, which was 1,5 times the maximum dose my doctor told me to take. And then I remembered that I had made plans with a friend to come over and catch up, as we hadn’t seen each other since the whole pandemic started.

So yeah, once he arrived two hours after my accidental intake of 3 pills, I was really focused on what he said and I must say, I felt a mental clarity I usually never felt in normal situations. I also felt a bit more energetic than usual and I experienced the suppressed appetite (which apparently is a rather common side-effect) much stronger than I did with lower doses. Besides that my head felt very warm and I noticed that my pulse was much stronger, so I put on my old smart-watch, just so I could regularly check my pulse (it was constantly over 90, when my usual average it between 60 and 70). Also I told him about my medication and the dosage I had taken, so if I experienced anything bad (the high pulse made me a bit anxious about that) he could inform a doctor. But yeah, nothing bad happened and for two hours we just talked about a lot of things and I just really listened to what he said, which was nice, as I‘m someone who often gets lost in thought while people talk to me, and being able to focus on what he said without getting distracted made me feel like I managed to be a better friend than I‘m usually am.

But nothing lasts forever and so once the effects wore off (took about 4,5 hours) I really couldn’t focus on stuff and I really felt the effects come back much stronger than they usually are. Luckily he is a pretty understanding dude, so he suggested that we just cook until I felt a bit better, which was quite nice, as my appetite also came back and I remembered that I hadn’t eaten anything that day. So we cooked and just played with the cats until I felt a bit better. I noticed that playing with the cats made me quite a bit calmer - maybe it’s the dopamine-boost my tiny fluffy boys give me, or maybe I just overinterpret something. Idk.

(Short break. I know, this post is already pretty long and as it’s about ADHD, I assume that some people reading this also have it. If you managed to read this that far, I‘m really amazed and I really thank you for your attention. Also I made this another text-style, so if you want to take a short break, you could find this spot easier. If you have any tips on how to write so that it’s more suitable for ADHDers to read, please feel free to send me a message, as I would really like it, if I could improve my writing so that my posts are easier to read for other people. Also I promise that this post will be finished soon.)

Okay, so lets continue: once the friend was gone, I washed the dishes, cuddled the cats and went to sleep. Or at least I tried to do so. I just couldn’t fall asleep. It was really impossible for me to close my eyes without having my brain full of thoughts that would keep me awake. I tried to put in calming music, as that helped me to fall asleep back when I was in school, but that didn’t work. I tried to make myself a nice sleeping-environment by putting on nice sounds to pretend that I‘m on the Hogwarts express (I used ambient-mixer for that) and lit small fairy lights, but that also didn’t help. I tried to do a brain-dump and wrote down all the thoughts that kept me awake, but that also didn’t help much. I tried to read all these thoughts out to my cats and talk about all the feelings I had that were linked to the thoughts, but that also didn’t help. (Also the cats kinda decided to run around and play catch after I talked to them for a few minutes. I think they have about the same attention span as I do). At about 5:30 in the morning my girlfriend texted me because she just got up to go to work and I was still awake to answer her. So yeah, at about 6 in the morning I fell into a very light sleep and I can tell you, working a 7 hour shift after that wasn’t fun. So a nice advice of mine: don’t do a higher dose than your doctor allowed you at 6 in the afternoon. Or generally. Listen to your doctors, chances are they know what they are talking about.

And here’s finally the last experience I wanna write about: Today I woke up at 8 and decided that I will use my day productively to learn. So ensured that my desk and everything around it was nice and clean and then I took two pills. And guess what. Now it’s half past 10 and I spent the last 1,5 hours focusing really intensely on writing a tumblr-post about my experiences with Ritalin because I remembered that I wanted to write such a post and I couldn’t focus on anything else while I had this thought. So yeah. Overall I really like the effects it has on me, as I didn’t experience any bad side-effects by now and it really helps me focus, but now I also know that maybe I should make a check-list of things I want to have done before I take it, as these things could be mayor distractions down the line.

I hope these reports could be interesting or helpful to someone out there, but always remember: the experiences of different people can vary vastly, so always remember that such meds can have very different effects on you or people you know. Always consult a doctor or pharmacist if you have medical questions and always remember that taking meds or not doing so is both completely valid, as long as it fits for you.

If you made it this far, I really wanna thank you for taking the time and focus to read this and I hope you found it to be at least somewhat interesting. Feel free to text me if you want to talk about your own experiences, ask questions, give criticism on the way I write or just ask for pictures of my cats. I hope you have a really nice day and yeah. I‘ll post again once something post-worthy happens or a topic which I think to be deserving of a post comes to my mind.