#penelope's shitposts

[victorian-nymph]

uh end of transmission

[mushyooms]

Poseidon: after everything you've done, how will you sleep at night?

Odysseus:

based on this incredible tweet below i only drew over it HAHA

[callmesel]

This is how I imagine Telemachus in the Penelope warrior au

[rozaalright]

has this been done before? (probably)

[protagaster]

Penelope: I think I’m in love with Odysseus…

Ctimene: ...

Penelope: Any thoughts?

Ctimene: And prayers. You’re going to need them.

[justmymindandstuff]

Queen Charlotte: Welcome to the fuck lady Whistledown club. Where we discuss why we hate Lady Whistledown. Before we begin, would our new member like to introduce himself?

Colin: I..uh....I may misunderstood this club....

I dont know if anybody did this already

[hiyyihrts]

Colin: But Pen you can’t marry him, you just can’t-

Penelope: And why not?

Colin, grasping at straws and his sanity: B-Because he… likes vegetables?

Penelope:

[shinedoitsulikeabright]

Manwhore AU headcanon

I like to believe Manwhore Ody got home shortly after the war ended because he didn't have to deal with any of the bullshit that canon Ody has to deal with.

Like imagine: if only he seduced his way out of the whole Polyphemus situation, he wouldn't have pissed off Poseidon, meaning he would've got home pretty much immediately.

I'm not even saying he had to fuck Poly (he'd die), but he could've used his babygirl looks or something. Be like "I'm sorry about your sheep, pookie *bats eyelashes*", but no. He just had to abandon all reason and blind the cyclops before telling him his full legal name and address.

[tootoonz]

We love a girlboss and her malewife :3

[nerointhecorner]

women want me for my deceitful nature and fine thighs

[victorian-nymph]

Something something a story in four parts

[cosmicourple]

list of EPIC! rarepairs / crackships & crack friendships I fw / some I made up (very few tho I think hdvff)

°— Odysseus x Poseidon (Salty)

°— Odysseus x Zeus (Thunderclap)

°— Odysseus x Poseidon x Zeus (Wetthunderthighs)

°— Polites x Circe (Springblooms? or Smilingsoul?)

°— Thanatos & Telemachus (Death & The Dodger duo)

°— Penelope x Circe (Royalmaroon? or CunningEnchanted?)

°— Penelope x Amphitrite (Pearltears? or Seafoam?)

°— Zeus x Polites (Lightningreflective? or Sullied?)

°— Poseidon x Eurylochus (Stonefish? or Stormydepths?)

°— Aeolus x Telemachus (Smokey? or Windwolf?)

°— Circe & Hermes (Divine Perfume + ‘Perfume’ duo)

°— Penelope & Ctimene (Warrior Power Women duo)

°— Scylla, Odysseus & Ctimene (Feral Wolfs & the Big Bad Sea-Dog trio)

°— Ares & Ctimene (Shadowed Siblings duo)

°— Sirenelope x Odysseus (NOT AN ACTUAL SHIP!!!!!! SHIPPED ENTIRELY ONE-SIDED!!!!!!!!!!!!) (Drawingbow? or Azurescales?)

°— Ctimene & Telemachus (Full Speed After My Dumbass Brother/Father duo)

°— Hera & Odysseus (Loyalty First duo)

°— Apollo x Eurylochus x Helios (Dimsunlight? or Scorchedsteelinhand?)

°— Hermes, Odysseus & Ctimene (✨HERMES✨ and Grandkids duo)

°— Antinous x Calypso (Pollution? or Scarletsand?)

°— idk what else (for now mwahhaha-)

[brokentrafficknight]

Jessica Cruz encounters Tarnished Spartan!Pyrrha.

They fight over Rusted Knight!Jaune

This shouldn't be considered canon to the fall family au

Unless you want to, I won't stop you.

[midnightlighthowlite]

Ody has a very good case for " my one misfortune us that most of my enemies desire me carnally"

[soarinsugar-homerblog]

Oh OKAY so when PENELOPE doesn’t finish her art WIPs she’s a “strong female character” and “using her intelligence and cunning” but when I don’t finish my art WIPs I’m just a failure >:( That’s okay I see how it is.

[protagaster]

Calypso, gesturing to herself and the rest of the suitors: Now, which of us will be the object of your attraction?

Odysseus, very obviously uninterested in any of them: Hm, wow, what great options. This is going to be so hard.

[Penelope walks in, hair disheveled and clothes ripped up. She is also covered in blood]

Penelope: Oh, sisters. I’m back from war.

Odysseus, with hearts in his eyes while he shoves every single woman out of the way: Hello, sailor!