#peem loves his family

[fuck-i-like-too-much-stuff]

I know everyone is touchy about Peem being like "maybe you should reconsider making it up with your dad" and everyone also wants a fix it fic about it. But just for a second if we keep these expectations aside and think-

Peem has been very close to his parents since forever. He can't imagine a life without his parents. He knows how much of a role they play in his life and he knows that if he didnt have them, life would not turn out the way it did for him.

When he looks at Phum, knowing only how much pain the boy has been through but barely the reason behind it, he wants Phum to have less pain. He isn't pushy about it, just optimistic because he himself is a family first sort of person.

Yes it would be great if we would have Peem being supportive of Phum's decision to never reconcile with his father, and it would be great if Peem voiced that conversation that way.

But guess what? This Peem would still do that even after saying this to Phum in private. If anything happens between Phum and his father, you sure as hell can believe that Peem will not leave Phum's side and will stand by him/up for him.

The scene, while couldve been better, is still true to their characters.

[fan-fricking-fiction]

Phum @ all of us:

i'm gonna miss u We are <3

[heretherebedork]

I'm still just caught up in how the show is clear that Fang might have a better surface relationship with his parents but he still isn't bringing Tan around or talking to them about the love of his life. Phum brings Peem over for moral support but Fang has the world of love and the world of his family kept apart. Tan is his safe space and that means keeping him safe. Keeping him apart. Keeping him as his own secret, his own safe space, his own comfort, the one place he can truly relax and simply be loved.

Fang is always the good brother, the good son, the quiet one, the understanding one... but with Tan he gets to be too much, to be upset, to act on what he wants, to ask for affection, to ask for more, to need more. Tan is the space where Fang gets to be more than the good one, gets to simply be himself.

And nothing illustrated that more then his quiet statement about missing Tan over the phone but very carefully not including him in the family dinner. Because that easily could have been the answer. But that was never a choice. Tan is not part of Fang and Phum's family. He is Fang's chosen family. And Fang needs him to stay that way.

Fang plays the part of the good son because that is his role in the family but he is holding more secrets and hiding more of himself than Phum ever has and he hides it all with Tan, in his safe space, where he can be needy and over the top and silly and loving and too much.

[aouboomseries]

oh last episode when phum offered his home and his own safe space to peem to use whenever he needed comfort? and then this episode when phum had a fight with his family and immediately sought out peem’s home for comfort? and then to make phum feel better, peem brought him to the sea—the place that always calms peem down and makes him happy?

and when fang, feeling guilty about not being able to help phum, looked to tan for help? tan who assured fang that he has done his best and doesn’t have to take all of the responsibility for taking care of phum? tan who pointed out that phum has peem now, in the same way that fang has tan? fang who realized through his boyfriend’s love that your family doesn’t have to be your safe space and love can be found and grown with other people too?

phum and fang, two brothers who only ever had each other to lean on and trust for years, finally getting to experience not only being loved and cared for by other people themselves, but also getting to watch each other finally find happiness and peace.

yes i’m very normal about all of this.

[doublel27]

I am convinced Tan was not at family dinner because he either has already or would on the quickest provocation fight Fang and Phum’s dad. Unlike Phum who disassociates until his dad picks a fight.

He’s known them since high school, not long after Phum came home. He’s fought beside Fang and Phum and they’ve bandaged each other’s injuries. He’s lived through numerous of Phum’s retreat into his quiet darkness. He’s wiped too many of Fang’s tears over Phum, their family and Fang’s own loneliness. He has promised to be Fang’s family and safe space because he knows Fang and Phum don’t find their own family a safe space.

You cannot tell me that the loudest, mouthiest of the gang, who tells it like it is, and is also capable of being dead serious when he needs to be, wouldn’t defend his dearest babe or his nong (love Tan starting this with Phum in ep 15) at the slightest sign of distress. And therefore, would go with Fang if he wanted him to be there but cannot promise to behave.

That or, don’t think I didn’t clock we’re still introducing Peem to the parents as Fang and Phum’s friend. We all know Tan has no chill when it comes to Fang and his love for him. So….just gonna leave that there.

[miss0atae]

I've noticed how Phum is terrible at expressing his feelings. We learned he mostly spend his time alone. He may have a brother and friends, but I believe he still wished his parents were more present in his life.

As he doesn't know how to love and be loved the way he desires, he is resorting a lot on spending money to his close friends, because it's the only attention he got from his parents. He has only learned that love amount to things you buy to someone It was kinda painful to see him always reaching for his money during the episode 5. It's not the first time he's done it, but in this episode it was really noticeable.

I believe he kind of craves simple domestic actions of having someone at home and doing mundane of every day life actions. That's why he is always asking Peem to come clean his place, cook for him and spend time with him. This is something he may wished to have with his family, but he never got to experience it.

Unfortunately, he is hiding behind the blackmailing and teasing, because, again, he may be afraid too. Being vulnerable is never easy. It's uncomfortable. People can hurt you. I feel it will become something he will have to overcome if he wants to have a healthy relationship with Peem.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Thailand is back in charge

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

June 2024 Week 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

Wandee Goodday (Sat YT) ep 7 of 12 - There is so much to love about this pair. But one of the things I truly adore is what great communicators they are about what they want & need as friends & as lovers. As boyfriends? Not so much. But the way they can (and do and did) communicate speaks well to their ability to communicate in the future, once they have resolved the inevitable doom the BL gods will reign down upon us over the next 3-4 eps. I guess what I am say is... these two are gonna be awesome husbands.

The break up was sad but inevitable.

Yay for a crying kiss. I do so love a crying kiss! 

Can we talk about the fact that all that tension was worth it?

Excellent kiss all round from GreatInn. Possibly one of the best of the year. Their only issue in winning this category in 2024 is that they're up against OffGun, TayNew, and JimmySea, not to mention BillyBabe... and MosBank coming soon. But I gotta say, for a new pair? Fantastic work boys.

My Stand-In (Fri iQIYI) ep 8 of 12 - I literally spent this whole show saying “Oh, Poor Joe!” Which is now the actual name of his character: Poor Joe. He's like the country music sad sack. How much is this narrative gonna keep kicking him while he's down?  

Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 1 of 12 - Star Hunter + MosBank + a beloved familiar face? You ready? Let's go. I got a lot to say.

Unexpected supernatural historical paranormal mythological Sign-esk elements happening in our dream sequence opening. I’m not mad about it. But I do think it’s going to be mishandled in the dubious hands of Star Hunter. My BLabies, no matter what else, with Star Hunter we can rest assured there will be chaos and narrative mess. And now, lucky us, there will be a supernatural mess. But at least it will be sexy and high heat.

Honestly, I'm not worried about MosBank and I know what to expect from Star Hunter,. So we're all on the same page.

Meanwhile, enter a cute side couple (normal for this studio). WAIT a second I know that face! That's Tenon of PitchBank fame (side couple, and only good thing about, Golden Blood). I’m sad to see his pair busted, but delighted to see him pop up again in a BL.

Tenon appreciation time: He kisses beautifully everyone, and he is a killer eye-emoter. We are in for a real treat with this actor. (Especially if we get to a place in the narrative where he pines. OH PLEASE MAKE HIM PINE.)

Okay back to the show. I love Tenon but I also LOVE his infiltrating, wicked smart, younger brother character. This role is great for him. I adore an industrial spy. I enjoy a rich boy pretending to be an intern in his family's company (yes it's a trope, just not common in BL). Excellent work Thailand. No notes.

In conclusion?

It’s a cheesy silly office BL and I am enjoying it immensely because I have no expectations. So don't burst my bubble. Star Hunter is bound to do that on its own without tumblr's help.

We Are Cute (Weds iQIYI) ep 11 of 16 - Oh my God they are all so cute! I love the beginning bit when Peem was feeling down and Phum tried to cheer him up. Ridiculously charming. All the sides were super adorbs too. The actual name of this show is "We Are Cute". Meanwhile, Kluen = the only boy in a BL ever to take his unfinished drink with him? I like him even more now. 

My Love Mix-Up Th (Fri YT) ep 2 of 12 - New take on the umbrella trope to be trapped under a parasol together. NO SINGING. Honestly? I am not loving this as much as I really wanted to love it. It's the middle of the rankings for good reason. I do like the idea of historical Cinderfella BL though. Why isn't that what I'm watching? The play with in a play is a dangerous trope to deploy, it only distracts my with attractive possibilities. 

Love Sea (Sun iQIYI) ep 2 of 10 - I'm gonna try to cycle back to ending this rap-up week on Saturdays, which means the recap for this episode will be in next week's weekly (so to speak). Meanwhile, I am doing a Trash watch on this show. Hopefully that will get updated tomorrow.

Knock Knock Boys (Thurs Gaga) ep 4 of 12 - It’s fun enough. Kind of a pulpy lark. Best + Seng = a surprisingly good match.

Only Boo! (Sun YT) ep 10 of 12 - Good kiss from the sides. No surprises there. The main’s kissing was fine too, I guess. I like that they had a genuine struggle with being an idol and not being able to date. It’s nice to see that depicted on screen in a BL. I wish we had a bit more of a montage around the rise & success of Moo's boy group. But I understand the money in play for this kind of show prohibits that. All in all? It’s fine. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

At 25:00 in Akasaka AKA 25 Ji Akasaka de (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 9 of 10 - Oof. This ep was painful. So much awkward desperation and confusion. Oh Japan, must you?

Crazy to be in a place and time where there is no other noted non-Thai BLs airing. Not even from Korea. What is going on? Are we in 2020 all over again? Please no.

It's airing but...

The Last Time (Thai Fri YT?) - Convoluted story of loss and possible reincarnation or something. Can't find it.

OMG Vampire (Thai Sun ???) 10 eps - I can't find it. Comments from last week suggest this is not my thing anyway, but Lee Long Shi very much IS my thing. I've put the search on hold for a bit and y'all can let me know if it's worth tracking down. Also, who knew Frank & Big could kiss like that? Not me.

ARGH could Monster Next Door please just start airing. I am SO tired of waiting for Big to lead out a BL. It should have happened years ago. *grumbles in chronic second lead syndrome*

In case you missed it

Let's Eat Together Aki and Haru 2 AKA Aki wa Haru to Gohan wo Tabetai 2 Haime! (Japan movie) - Continues the (frankly) lackadaisical story from part 1 ans was meant to drop yesterday. We thought maybe Gaga, but nothing so far.

The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer released to Korean theaters 5/25. HoTae & DongHee, side couple from Unintentional Love Story are back! Same actors, same character names. I love them. Devastated this hasn't had international distribution.

As others see us: NuNew's 'Awful' Performance in BABYMONSTER's 'SHEESH' Goes Viral - I don't like BL being noticed by Kpop stans. I flipping LOATHE this song and I'm not wild about Babym. This is all 'round uncomfortable making and I want it to stop.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

June Releases Still Coming

6/26 The Rebound (Thai Weds Gaga) - MeenPing are back in their 3rd BL together, a basketball based romance (Meen was a national basketball player, so yay for that). I like this pair better than most (I still do miss Meen with Est but Est has a fantastic looking new BL coming from GMMTV so yeah...) Anyway I'm up for a sports romance starring a man who, yah know, actually played that sport so... I'm game (pun intended).

6/26 I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) 10 eps - A new series adaptation of beloved yaoi I Hear the Sunspot (first adaptation was feature film Silhouette of Your Voice 2017).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Forget "boyfriends but they don't realize it." These two are married but they don't realize it.

Praise be, he didn't leave his full drink behind. BEST BOY.

It was a great make out sesh.

THAT LIP BITE.

All round excellent ep this week, We Are Cuties.

Top tier flirting banker from the fuck buddies though. Man, their innuendo is on point. And I do mean that point. (Wandee Goodday)

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity

@rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in it's infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

There's these tricks, remember.

[thecasualfkfan]

This was the scene that really made me want to praise Pond's acting because this face really shows everything that Phum is going through his head in that moment. It has a bit of longing because he could never talk to his parents with this type of openness because his parents made him feel very much un-loved(which he already has accepted),on the other hand,the face also has fondness because the man he loved has the type of family he can fully be open,playful and happy with. And he cares so much Peem and Peem's feelings that he himself is very happy to be just included there.

[distant-screaming]

I keep thinking about how peem is so incredibly kind to literally everyone, how one of the very first things we learn about him is that he can't say no. how he stays late at a mall because the guy who forced him into a slave contract asked him to. and then we have phum who seems to be very prideful and stubborn at first. he pulls pranks on peem, he doesn't make any particular effort to get along with anyone. and how that changes. how phum gets closer to peem and starts to open up to everyone and - is happier. and how the biggest reason for that is... well it's kind of peem but more than that it's family. he's welcomed into the friend group and he sees how they interact with each other and he sees how peem interacts with him and it just. phum has been working off of the assumptions he's built up over the years - that most people will see him a certain way, that even the people he loves and trusts will keep him at a distance. and family and childhood is so important and phum's just. he's just doing his best. he's literally everything to me. what was I talking about

[calciumcryptid]

I know we all talk about Phum and his experiences with his childhoods neglect, but gods does Fang make me eat the drywall because there are so many implications about how it affected him too.

We don't know much about Phum and Fang's elder brother beyond a name and their mother asking Fang about how he has been doing, but I think that says a lot about the family and their connection. An elder brother who, going off the picture, doesn't seem much older than Fang and Phum who probably got out of dodge as soon as he could but in doing so left Fang and Phum alone in that house.

Fang who navigated international lines to talk to his scared crying younger brother and (probably) sent Phum plushies as a substitute for his company, but was only about a year or two older so he didn't realize it could never make up for the real thing.

Fang who knows how to make spaghetti and not much else because sometimes his parents forgot to leave money for groceries/takeout and he has to feed his younger brother because he is the only other parental figure despite being a year or two older and shouldn't have been unsupervised in the kitchen.

Fang who in high school punched his future-boyfriend in the face, because of course he did when he has been nothing but the peacekeeper in his household and a guy has been rude to him and he needs to let go of some of that bitterness and resentment and man doesn't Tan look punchable?

Fang who watched Phum get into fights too and emulate his behavior but he can never be mad at Phum because it isn't his fault no one bothered to check on the rich family's kids. Then Phum would emulate him further when he fell for the kid who kicked him in the nuts, but Fang can't even complain because Peem is the best thing to happen to his little brother.

Fang who went into architecture and keeps his grades up probably because his parents wanted him to go into business and having high grades is the only way to prove that he is doing what is best.

Fang who freaked out when his attentive boyfriend didn't respond to his calls and messages because his worst fears are confirmed and Tan is going to leave him just like his parents just like his elder brother- but Tan never left and continues to be his safe place.

Fang who was set up as the peacekeeper in his family, a bridge between Phum and their parents. Fang still living with their parents and constantly trying to get Phum to play nice because of course Fang is doing that because he wasn't the one abandoned in another country but also he got the bare amounts of attention that kept him strung along for more and to doesn't matter that his parents only seem to ask about his elder brother or his grades or talk about their own work because every once and while they pay attention to him.

Fang who will come to the realization the only love he values is Phum's, Tan's, and his news friends (which his parents didn't even realize he had) and how he will move out into a new place with Tan and cut off contact and it will be hard but it will be worth it because when he is married and adopted two kids and his kids ask about their grandparents on his side he'll give them a small smile and say they passed away decades ago even though he doesn't know if that is true but doesn't care to find out.

[happypotato48]

We Are: Fighting Toxic Masculinity With The Power Of Friendship

Wow, who would have thought that it We Are of all things that make me write this, i really need to expand my horizons.

I will mostly be talking about Phum and Toey in this post, on how i feel related to certain aspects of their characters that related to toxic masculinity and how that ties in to the overarching theme of this show, Friendships.

So i've mentioned before that the way Toey talks is very noticeable, let me elaborate that further. both the way Toey use his name as a first person pronoun and his mannerism are very childish but its not just that. becuse of toxic masculinity and societal norms in thailand it's more acceptable for women to talks like that and use childish pronouns than men. for an example the pronoun Nu. boys are expected to drops that when they reach certain age (some don't and continuing to use it exclusively with their parents especially their mothers, including your truly.) cause of that the way Toey talks also can be read as feminine + satang performance made him feels like a very visibly queer character to me.

And here i think We Are strength come in cause the show never break its bubble but alluded that Toey had been bullied in highschool. and it so heartwarming to me knowing that Phum and Fang stood up and protect him then, and now with this current friends group who never one even remotely mentioned or tease him in anyways and ready to protect and fight for Toey's happiness, its give me all the feels. Toey can be himself and never felt like he needs to change and conform to the standard of masculinity because he have men in his life whose said no you are perfect the way you are.

Now Phum oh my dear baby boy. as first i was not vibing at all with PhumPeem as main couple but after the slow burn of 11 episodes they had won me over wholeheartedly. first thing first though i don't know anyone mentioned this before but the word that got translate as "slave" is เบ๊ *Be which in this school context have more of a bullying vibe and feel less harsh than the word slave. anyways we learned that Phum had a lonely childhood abroad far aways from his family and how stuffed toys are his only comfort at the time. as the start of the show Phum because of his childhood had walls up around himself manifested as toxic asshole exterior. and i loved that it not just only because of Peem that those walls came down, the show made the point again and again by having Phum said that he loves spending time with Peem and his friends that being with them makes him feels at ease.

And that why i think this show is goodish (it still a bit trash but hey i love it anyway.) and not a show that has nothing to say because how much it give important to the friendships. the show clearly stated that friends are as important as lovers and through friendship us queer guys can protect and better ourselves with each other. that male friendships can be more then what the world told us to be.

These are the reasons why i think We Are is one of my favorite BLs this year. because the nature of it never breaking the bubble its, for one hour made me feel like i can breathe, that for one hour i don't have to think about queer truth that hurts sometime and live in this queer fantasy. and i appreciated that eminently when i have to leave that bubble and face the music.

tagging for reasons >.> @bengiyo

[bubbipond]

I love this friend group SO much. Especially Tan, who would be in an awkward position with Fang if he started beefing with Phum. But the four of them are so solid on each other. Even though Tan knows Phum is a good guy, he agrees he is still partially upset with him about it. Which I am forever glad about because I lowkey hate the trope of, "I have shit on you now you have to do what I say and I will be a raging dick too". So I am glad this show speaks on how wrong it is to do that to a person and have the person in question take responsibility. But now they are all at a crossroads because they all genuinely like Phum and the friendships they've made. So it isn't as easy as it would've been in eps 1-5 to just cast him aside. Now they are all invested in the family they've made together. I also love that Q is the voice of reason here as he is closest to Peem and understands him. So instead of telling their friend to dump Phum and go back to how things they, they trust that Peem can make his own choices and they are there to support that.

They are the friendship blueprint, I fear.

[heretherebedork]

Still thinking about Tan being Fang's safe space because his family can't be that and how Phum brings Peem to meet his family to support him and how Fang just tells Tan he misses him and goes to dinner alone because Phum needs Peem to be able to handle his family but Fang needs Tan to be separate from his family.

Fang sits at dinner at his family's house alone and he smiles because no one is fighting and then he goes home to Tan and smiles and laughs and whines and clings and lets all that tension go with the one person he trusts to love him even when he's imperfect, the one person he knows sees all sides of him and still loves him.

Tan is the only person who truly sees that side of Fang. Tan is the one person who's heard the tears in Fang's voice when he asks him not to just disappear and who has promised him to never go, to never stop loving him, to never think he's too much. For the rest of the world, Fang is quiet and withdrawn and he is the good son and the good student and a hard worker and then he takes all of that off when he's at home with Tan, sets it aside like a jacket, like armor, bearing himself and his soul to the one man who he punched and who loves him any way, the one man who saw him at his angriest and lowest and now wants nothing more than to kiss him until he smiles.

I am going to miss these two forever.

[shortpplfedup]

We Are Episodes 9-12: They got me, they really got me

My heart has exploded. This show has ruined me. I'm crying on a Wednesday afternoon about a bunch of queer boys all actively doing their best by each other every day. This show is saying 'Your actions matter. Your intentions matter. Your words matter. IT ALL MATTERS.' Also, we unlocked everything about this show by learning two very important backstories: the story of Tan and Fang, and Phum and Fang's family history.

I think this block of eps has been the most explicitly romantic section of the show so far. Bookended by two of the now-requisite-for-Thai-BL change of scenery trips (and man that volunteer camp paid dividends), this was just a great, GREAT bit of Show. One of my favourite things about how the relationships are progressing in this show is that they are allowing these boys to have courtship. Yeah, they might be attracted to each other, like each other, even make out with each other, but there is a gap between 'I like you' and 'I want to be with you' that romance doesn't always explore. Stating your intentions and deliberately and actively wooing somebody still matters. In the West, and especially in the limited western romance we get, sometimes it feels like we've decided it is juvenile and/or old-fashioned, it is somehow uncool, to require declaration, to ask and receive an answer. We have cool-girled (non-gender-specific) our way into the age of the noncommittal extended situationship. This show allows all of these boys to have that bit of romance, to expect it, to require it, and to have that taken seriously.

Phum and Peem had a rocky start, so it makes sense that it would take time and effort for them to get to a place where Peem feels comfortable admitting his feelings for Phum, even if he has accepted them to himself (him letting Khluen down gently was such a nice touch), and cannot keep himself from showing them at every turn. A detail I love is that Phum continues to apologise for the way he treated Peem at the start. He so so sincerely regrets it all, in a believable way, and he does not take Peem's forgiveness as a given at all. Him declaring himself in front of all of their friends and going all out to woo Peem is part of that apology, along with his actual multiple, repeated 'I'm sorry's. And then him going STRAIGHT to Peem when he had that fight with his dad, and Peem dropping all the flirty games instantly because he knew something was wrong...BURY MEEEEEEEEEEE.

Tan finally told his friends the story of him and Fang and EVERYTHING about this show clicked into place with that information. Understanding how and when this all started for them explains not only their entire dynamic, but also draws direct lines from them to every other couple. The rocky start? That's Phum and Peem. Falling slowly over time? Q and Toey. Afraid to ruin the friendship? Totally where I see Chain and Pun landing. And then across this chunk we get to see the interiority of their relationship now, and the DEPTHS of their devotion to and understanding of each other. They truly, madly, deeply love each other, exactly for who they each are. Plus, enthusiastically mutually horny for each other, which is always fun to see.

Q and Toey spend some time here really talking through their history and their feelings, explaining their past actions to each other and laying to rest a lot of their fears and hurts from Q's sudden disappearance from Toey's life and Toey's sudden appearance in Q's. These two were working at cross-purposes and off incorrect assumptions for so long, them finally getting onto the same page thanks to their meddling-ass friends was just a giant exhale. And Q asking Toey to be his boyfriend in the way it all began, at the place it all began put me so very deep in my feels.

They are really letting the Chain/Pun thing build up in the background, in tiny moments and offhand comments, and every morsel we get of them feels like it matters. I'm sure that's part practicality given the reshoots, but Chain and Pun also feel like those friends in the group who turn up married one day when nobody knew they even liked each other. In my Hospital Playlist analogy for this show, they are Ik Jun and Song Hwa, down to Chain's loving indulgence of Pun's tuneless insistence on singing.

The non-romantic relationships in this show continue to be the cherry on the sundae. Q and Peem's friendship, Phum and Beer's friendship, Toey and Matt's friendship, the brotherly love between Fang and Phum, Pun and Mick's himbo bromance, how ride or die EVERYBODY is for Toey, how fully integrated Phum, Beer, Mick, Toey and Matt are into the crew now, the silly fun they have when all the gang's together...I'm so emotional about this. I will give New Siwaj that he has always understood that great romances need great friendships to support them. I haven't always liked how he has put those together narratively, or managed the tonal shifts involved, but this one is just working gangbusters for me.

Four more eps to go and I have gone from thinking 16 eps were too many to never wanting this show to leave me. At the same time, I'm aware that we're moving into the New Siwaj Red Zone (aka the final act), where things often fall apart with him. Still, I'm having such a good time so far I'm choosing optimism. Time to update my couple scores.

Q and Toey: 3.5/4 hearts

Their romantic arc is more or less winding down now I think, and they're moving into cupid role for Phum and Peem. I have so thoroughly enjoyed this journey and look forward to seeing how they work as a team in the final bit!

Phum and Peem: 3.5/4 hearts

These two are ruining me, I am giggling kicking my feet all week thinking about them. Peem saying the ocean was too far when Phum wanted to take him there to feel better, but taking Phum there without a second thought when Phum showed up shaken and sad...NO YOU'RE CRYING.

Tan and Fang: 4/4 hearts

They are the absolute heart of this show. Just rock solid, undeniable, unquestionable. Tan saying in ep 12 he wants to be Fang's safe zone AND his family? Fang shouting out his love? PLEASE CALL ME SINGLE MORE QUIETLY ABEG.

Pun and Chain: 3/4 hearts

There is no heterosexual or even queerplatonic explanation for these two, and so the candle in my window stays lit for them.

[doublel27]

We Are: Queer Found Family and Romance

Or the meta I didn’t intend to write.

It’s taken 9 eps (of me admittedly watching We Are through gifs and clips on Twitter, because I have yet to pay for iQIYI and I am bad at grey watching) but I think I have figured out the central conflict/plot of We Are and why the mostly linear narrative of Phum and Peem with the in media res relationships of our other three pairings made this impossible to fully tease out until we got all the pieces.

The through line that connects all of these stories about how incredibly hard it can be to be part of a queer friend group when the lines of friendship and romance blur, especially when there’s a real aspect of found family to that group.

Two things really cemented it for me this week: Tan telling the gang (and therefore the audience) the full scope of his background with Fang, as well as the beginning of Phuwin’s IG live where he talks about why he likes Kluen as a character is that he’s very direct with people he likes and isn’t blurring the lines between friends and possibly fucking up the friendship.

Because that’s the central problem that all four main couples of the show grapple with in different ways. I’m gonna get into all of that under the cut.

I’m going to start with Tan and Fang because aou contains multitudes and is my beloved while going for Fang could have always messed up his relationship with Phum, we find out in episode 9 that Tan met Fang first. Unsurprisingly, it’s not a great first meeting between what are seemingly two known fighters of what appear to be rival high schools. But then Tan finds Phum and Fang being jumped by a group from his own high school and saves them and eventually becomes friends with them sometime two years+ before the start of our story. Within this time, Tan falls so far in love with Fang, who can both out bitch and out fight, him that Tan goes full simp instead and cuts out the fighting(love that for him).

And mixing his reveal to his friends of how he met Fang and how Fang eventually consumed his waking thoughts to the point he would wish to order Fang as a pizza topping (my love for Tan is immeasurable).

But take us back to episode 2 (which is now on YouTube for US watchers for how long I don’t know) and Tan has clearly not seen Fang in awhile. He asks Phum to invite Fang out where Tan will happen to be. At the time, it was taken as Tan and Phum are university friends and Tan and been obsessed with Fang ever since and needs Phum to make the connections. But the clues that Tan and Fang were also close were already laid down. Their exchange goes:

Tan: Hey. It’s been awhile. Right?

Fang: I thought you were dead.

Tan: Come on. I haven’t seen you in ages either. (That’s the English translation, but the flow of the conversation connotes that Fang hasn’t sought him out either)

At which point Phum makes the face he always makes when Tan is in Fang hyperfocus mode of looking away and sighing. And Fang pointedly asks why Phum invited him out and what is going on.

Which is a weird exchange when you think Tan is Phum’s friend who is obsessed with Fang. It is a less weird exchange between friends that have been avoiding each other for an unspecified amount of time. And we can assume Tan started avoiding Fang because he was madly in love with him and didn’t know how to handle it and didn’t tell Fang why he was avoiding him.

In the episode 9 speech to his friends, Tan outlines that he didn’t think Fang would ever reciprocate his feelings (that it was impossible) and didn’t want to fuck with the friendship (at which point Pun sends a longing look to Chain but we’ll get back to that later) with Fang and Phum and he buried it. Until he couldn’t live with it any longer and decided to do something about it.

Which with the limited information we have, his feelings were already fucking with his friendship. He already didn’t know how to approach Fang because of his feelings at the start of the show, so is it better to not try and hope the romantic feeling dies while avoiding your friend or shoot your shot and maybe get a boyfriend out of it or maybe continue to fuck up your friendship. Tan chooses to roll the dice and it’s clear from the moment they leave the bar in episode two that Fang likes him back.

They both watch each other when they think the other isn’t looking. Fang is the one who sends Phum and Peem home together and sets himself up with a taxi ride with Tan. It’s particularly interesting to me after episode 9, this exchange, because Fang looks at a passed out Peem, mouths Peem? And proceeds to ask Phum if this is the guy that hit him while Tan snickers and Peem looks like the saddest wet cat. It’s only after the affirmative from Phum that Fang is essentially like “well, you can take him home Phum. Take home your drunk friend who hit you and I will go home with Tan.” Which our besotted Tan jumps at.

And considering the parallel between Tan and Fang meeting and Tan immediately sassing him and Fang throwing a punch leading to a fight, and Phum ruining Peem’s painting which led to mutual sassing and a kick to the nuts and a fight…I don’t know if Fang is a mastermind and connected the dots because these brothers need someone who will occasionally not be afraid talk back if need be and sees the potential for Phum to care as much about Peem as Fang does for Tan. Or if he just wants time alone with Tan and doesn’t see it. Look, I wouldn’t be surprised if Fang is secretly a long game mastermind.

Once they’re alone, Tan and Fang steal glances and flirt in the way that Tan makes very loud attempts at flirting and

Additionally, Fang is reserved like Phum, and seemingly as isolated as his only friends seem to be Phum’s friends. We don’t know if he is just not paying attention to other members of the architecture faculty or knows stuff about Kluen he won’t share. As previous parts of this narrative are folded in later episodes, we may find out. What we do know is he’s either ever only appeared alone or in connection to Tan and Phum and Phum’s friends. Even with the flashbacks, Tan points out that the head of the Fang, head of cheer club, approaches him alone and later it’s just Fang and Phum when Tan finds the group of guys jumping them. We know he and Phum adopt Toey who is bullied in high school. It makes sense why he’s potentially reserved about pushing things with Tan if Tan becomes his first real high school+ friend that he has outside of his brother.

Which is why by the time we get to episode 5, Fang says yes before Tan finishes talking. He’s been waiting but also wasn’t willing to be the first to put himself out there. And considering how much Fang and Phum seem to live in their heads and not in the world with everyone else, I can see why he needed Tan to be the one to commit to it first, especially with Fang’s later comments about not understanding why hanging out with him is a preference of Tan’s. I do hope we cross his “don’t tell tan how gone I am on him” bridge later in the narrative. Cause I think Tan knows, but also it’s nice to hear.

Let’s go back to another long-suffering pair where only one half really knew why they were suffering, and the other got a nasty shock, QToey.

I know the guys are all team if Toey loves Q and Q loves Toey then why is Q so hesitant? And I get it, but let’s talk about the double shock Q suffered and the potential layers of risk Q is facing.

It’s not just that Q is cautious with his heart. That is a factual truth. It’s why he ghosted Milk Frappe Boy, because while he fell in love with Milk Frappe Boy I think there was a deep worry, and a self esteem issue that the reality of Q, instead of Pencil Senior, would not be enough for Milk Frappe boy. So Q bolted and then deeply regretted said bolting enough say so to both Toey, not knowing the truth, and to Peem.

But the fact that he learned that Toey was indeed Milk Frappe boy at the same time he learned all of his best friends, his family for all intents and purposes, also knew and no one told him. And the way the confrontation is staged between Q and Toey, it is Q against Toey and everyone else is behind Toey.

And that, friends, that’s the real third rail for Q.

It’s one thing to know that he loved Milk Frappe Boy and that he loves Toey. And that is scary enough. The fandom loves to joke about how Toey is everyone’s little brother and they’ve all adopted him: and that is a correct assessment. But that means if Q fucks it up with Toey, he stands a chance in his mind of everyone else choosing Toey over him.

That fear doesn’t even feel that unfounded when everyone calmed Toey down mostly before Peem, Q’s true bestest friend, came out to be with him. Like Peem caught Toey before going after Q. The next episode nearly every character but Q (aside from Fai who is at all connected to this group) shows up to plan how to support Toey in getting Q.

And while I know my brain cell-less brain trust fully believe they’re helping Q, no one actually seems to ask what Q wants. Aside from Peem trying to get him to come to some that first night on the curb, no one ever asks. And that night all Q wants is to sleep in a pile with his four best friends, because that’s his family. Losing them is even scarier than losing Toey. In essence he’s lost Milk Frappe Boy once. He could do it again. But if they chose Toey…IDK.

We don’t know anything about their families really, aside from Peem’s lovely aunt and the fact that Phum doesn’t get along with his dad. And I get why when the focus is really on these large groups of found families (that are becoming one large found family) that the audience is really in love with. The bonds between the friends are just as much a part of the romance as the actual romances. Because the friendship is where the complications come from.

And while I can’t speak to mlm spaces, as I have never identified as a man, within queer wlw and non-binary spaces there are jokes about dating yourself out of friend groups. There are people you used to know who you don’t anymore because you dated someone in the friend group and were too new and got bounced. Or you date and the way it ends make everyone choose one side. Or, a person in the friend group has a crush on another person in said group, that is an open secret but when the person who was crushed upon gets a new relationship people get mad at them for not dating the person in the friend group who liked them all along because didn’t everyone know. (None of these are from personal experience I assure you 🙃)

And it doesn’t always happen like that. Sometimes the people figure out a friendship or a queer platonic solution when they’re not attracted to each other anymore. Sometimes they orbit around the friend group like two comets on opposite trajectories, occasionally crossing in awkward moments. Sometimes everyone gets past the weird. Sometimes no one does.

But that’s the risk that we’re playing in this show. I can choose the romance, but if it doesn’t work out, I am gambling this safe zone.

Which is gonna bring me to our last two pieces of this: one has had the most development and one the least but both are struggling.

I’m gonna start with Chain and Pun who are the most unhinged, gay yearning codependent besties that exist in the middle of the week and give Potae and Payos on Only Boo a real run for their money. (Both have lips touching earlobes and I don’t have a platonic answer for either) The thing is, I think both Chain and Pun are very aware of the mutual feelings. They both have moments where you know they’re aware but neither will do anything about it. And they are in the case of the story, the most embedded in one single friend group, and have the potential to explode their core group of five if things go sideways.

Now, they’re also the pair that has been effectively dating this entire time without actually dating. The ear biting and the blowing on things in the other’s mouth and the…I don’t have platonic explanations for their behavior okay? I don’t. Not naming it keeps it from being real though. It’s a collective hallucination or the biggest game of chicken.

Eventually, though, one of them is going to cross the line in a way that can’t be erased or the line redrawn. And it’s gonna have to be big because their friends watched them gaze longingly into each other's eyes for 20+ seconds and thought it was normal. Because this is how they are.

And that brings us to not quite friends not quite lovers and not quite enemies, Phum and Peem. The risk is, as discussed in many other metas, mostly on Phum’s side here and it’s why he spent the episode so hesitant. Yes he started off particularly entitled and rude. His and Peem’s relationship started as a fight (but so did Tan and Fang) and Phum feels incredibly comfortable with Peem. He’s definitely neurodivergent coded my Phum, which doesn’t make his assholery okay, but it explains his hesitancy to try new things and his struggle with making friends and expressing his feelings.

He’s got friends but he doesn’t feel particularly deeply connected to them. Yes, Beer makes time for him and actively seeks him out to give advice. He and Fang have a level of sibling codependency that hints at neglect and Fang protecting Phum at all costs. We see Tan approach Phum most of the time and while some of that is angling to get to Fang, Tan does genuinely care. But Tan is also incredibly loud which seems to be a lot for our neurospicy Phum, and Tan also has his large found family with Peem. Same with Toey, who Phum and Fang adopted long ago, and clearly Phum adores him, but he’s also the little brother of the art faculty.

And Peem is a very loving and giving soul and he makes time and space for Phum even though he’s annoying and high handed and gets Phum out of his ruts and comfort zones. And Phum clearly wants Peem to choose him, because Phum has already chosen even if he hasn’t said “I like you and want to date you.” He’s said other very direct things about how safe he feels with Peem and how connected he feels to other people by hanging out with Peem. And Peem is this safe space for him to go out and connect with the world without it being overwhelming and he even feels more connected to his own friends.

And that’s the danger that Kluen represents and what Phum struggles with. He wants Peem to choose him, but he also doesn’t want to force Peem to make a choice and not choose him, and then lose out on the experiences he’s building with Peem as well as a break in some of the connections he has with the people closest to him as Fang and Toey find love within Peem’s group. And so again, the question comes around, is it better to stay in this limbo where no one says anything and maybe Peem dates Kluen but I get to keep him as a friend, or do I roll the dice like Tan and maybe win.

I think it’s been a hard thread to pull because without the context of Tan & Fang meeting first, and Phum and Peem mending their relationship to become something akin to friends who kiss sometimes and don’t talk about it, and the lingering feelings of betrayal for Q by his friends (where they learned about his largest secret/mystery and NO ONE TOLD HIM) which are later revelations in the course of the show, they feel like different types of love stories without the mess of friendship blurring the lines. The story feels linear, because we start in a school year with the meeting of Phum and Peem, the connections between the other characters are older than this year, leaving some of their stories in media res.

And it’s an interesting core struggle taking a risk when the line between who you’re friends with, who you depend on, and who you’re attracted to blurs and the potential for rifts in your safety net are everywhere. It’s not the first show with this as a central tangle nor is it specific to queer television. But the reality of the deep ties that can exist within queer friendships and how they form deep supportive communities makes the stakes higher. And that’s why the friendships are developed nearly as much if not more than some of the romances. That’s where a lot of the risk lies for these characters.

Anyway, that’s nearly 3K of thoughts I didn’t know I had in me about We Are until today. But here we are.

[pharawee]

Back in May I bought Khemjira's Rescue on meb, happy that there finally was an official English translation because I love horror and actually liked the first pilot teaser for Spirit Reborn - even though it wasn't well received.

I now know why the teaser wasn't well received (the official version has since been deleted and there's only some re-uploads left) and I agree. Khemjira isn't really a classic QL where the story centres around two people falling in love. It's a horror novel first (and the novel's content warning is very open about this). Much of the romance only happens in the bonus chapters. It's also steeped in Isan folklore and Theravadin Buddhist teachings and virtues, with heavy and uncompromising themes of karma, rebirth, right action and non-attachment (which I really appreciate but might not be everyone's cup of tea because it completely ignores concepts of justice and revenge).

The novel itself is translated really well with only a few editorial slip-ups but tons of footnotes to explain potentially unfamiliar concepts and give translations for the recited khatha. The bonus chapters are plentiful and rewarding if you're into romance and the usual level of BL novel spiciness, but even without them the narrative flows really well and comes to a satisfying conclusion. I really liked the novel - it might be my favourite right after I Feel You Linger in the Air - so I was slightly apprehensive when Mandee announced that they had acquired the rights for a new adaptation.

I don't know the actors at all so I only have the novel to go by, but all in all I'm really happy with Mandee's pilot teaser. It's so close to the novel that even seemingly short filler scenes are recognisably taken from moments in the story. And while I still think Keng Harit is a bit too young as Por Kru Parun, he manages to capture his commanding and alluring presence very well.

My only worry now is that they'll downplay the religious themes in order to elevate the romance between, well, basically everyone. I couldn't even blame them though, because most of the audience will be expecting romance, and the series probably wouldn't be very well received if both couples remained chaste until the very end. I don't think Khemjira's Rescue even qualifies as slow-burn for reasons I'll explain a bit later (and behind a spoiler warning).

But first, a bit more about the main characters because I've seen some confusion about their names etc. I'll keep these as spoiler-free as Mandee's pilot teaser was so if you've watched that then you're all set.

Khemjira is cursed, as are all male descendants of his family, doomed to die before their 20th birthday (the series changes it to 21). His mother gave him a traditionally female name to confuse the curse but to no avail: as he grows older he's more and more troubled by the heavy and malevolent presence of spirits. These are kept at bay by an amulet given to to him by a venerable Por Kru (a practicioner of Buddhist white magic) but when that's no longer enough, his friend Jhet introduces him to his teacher Por Kru Parun who lives in a small Isan village. Despite the burden of bad karma, Khem is a good person who always tries his best even when he feels like giving up.

Por Kru Parun (the series calls him Karan) is a respected practicioner of Buddhist white magic. He lives in a traditional wooden house outside of a small Isan village and protects his community from spiritual harm. He learned from his grandfather (who was himself a respected Por Kru) and also spent many years ordained as a monk. Because he lives by the precepts (which go beyond the five precepts of laypeople) he seems detached and aloof, often wearing dark sunglasses so others won't get charmed by him. His real (nick)name is Peem but he only starts using it with Khem once the two get romantically involved.

Jhettana and Charnvit (aka Jhet and Charn) are Khem's best friends. Khem meets Jhet during freshman orientation when Jhet senses the malevolent spirits around him. It's also Jhet who suggests visiting his teacher Por Kru Parun in his home province. They do this during a university excursion. This is how they meet Charn who's part of the student trip and very suspicious about what they're doing. Charn is extremely polite, addressing everyone as Khun. He wears glasses to aid his bad vision. Both Jhet and Charn are extremely protective of Khem, choosing to become Parun's students in order to help save him. They're also the secondary couple with a surprising past connection.

These two boys are Thong and Ake, Parun's spirit servants. They're the ghosts of 12-year-old twins that already served Parun's grandfather. They also have a surprising role to play in things to come.

SOME SPOILERS FOR THE MIDDLE OF THE NOVEL

As for why the romance can only happen after Khemjira's curse has been lifted: as practitioners of white magic, Parun and his students Jhet and Charn have to adhere to the precepts. These include abstinence from unchastity, so they should remain non-attached to thoughts of sexual and romantic nature. If one of these precepts is broken, all of them are considered broken (which makes it impossible to practice white magic) - Khemjira's rescue would fail if any of them got involved romantically. Parun knows that he's mindful enough to remain non-attached until the curse has been dealt with. He also knows that he can't expect the same of Khem so he refuses to take him as his student (which is fortunate because that way we get to read about Khem's pining).

And beyond the horror and the romance, there's also a third element that heavily features in the story: rebirth. All of the characters' fates are interwoven through several past lives, and I'm really curious how Mandee will decide to tackle this added layer of complexity and identity. In The Sign, Idolfactory used the same actors througout every past life (while 1000 Years Old used different actors with the same identifying birth mark). In Khemjira's Rescue the past identities of some of the characters are incredibly important and I'd hate to see them getting erased by using the same actors to better fit with BL marketing. It was so rewarding to find out that Jhet and Charn were starcrossed lesbian lovers in a past life and I'd love it if they kept that reveal for the series as well.

Oh, and also? Yes, there's going to be at least one naga. 🙌

END OF SPOILERS

Ultimately, if Mandee truly commits to playing the long game and doesn't simplify the story in order to appeal to marketing opportunities, this could end up being one of the best Thai BL series to come. From what I saw, the actors can definitely pull it off, and the fact that the 11 minute long trailer focuses so much on novel-accuracy is very promising already. Just don't have Parun and Khem get it on too early. Sometimes you have to keep it in your pants for a bit in order to save the day. 🙏