#peanuts are just everywhere

[samwiselastname]

the last time I was out of nut butter I went to the grocery store to get my usually top 9 allergen free suflower butter and they only had the zero sugar kind. fine, I'll try it. it's. not great.

this time I came back with the "crunchy" formulation and there are just. whole sunflower seeds in there. I don't know what I expected. it's really good

[gifti3]

What if Asmo got gum stuck in his hair, like really in there and somewhere he cant see easily

But MC helps him get it out and they manage to without damaging or cutting his hair

[molloytheboy]

why did I try to mix the new jar of peanut butter with the hand mixer. I knew what was gonna happen and I did it anyway. was it just to feel something

[johnbottoms]

should u ever find yourself eating peanut butter toast u must remember to prepare for the eventuality of finding peanut butter in places u didnt think peanut butter would ever be

[tittysuckersworld]

dont forget they stuff their nuts in it

you contain multitudes i contain multi dudes *5 guys emerge from my mouth and make you a really overpriced cheeseburger*

[skyrigel]

Take a look at my gf trend with Simon

“No way !” Soap annouced smugly,“ Ghost would be caught dead than doing—”

“ Will this do cupcake ?” The door of your bedroom fell ajar, Simon stepped out, his enormous hands carrying a small dainty Polaroid of him in his whole gear.

“—a stupid trend.” But the words were passed away in a gasp, He frowned at your boyfriend or his comrade in war field.

You winked at him, balancing a smirk as you hopped to your big man, taking a look at the Polaroid and giving him your most jovial nod while he leaned to peck your head.

“ Who are you ?? And what have to done to our lieutenant!?” John said accusingly, his face scowling in humour.

“Get ya' ass out, peanut and I need to film a video.” Simon wrapped his arms around your waist, while he waved his Polaroid from other to the door.

“ Or you can help us film it.” You laughed, making him scoff, 'as if'.

~~~

Everywhere I go I keep her picture in my wallet like here—

You waved the Polaroid of your man happily in the camera, Simon's big fingers stopped the video and then he looked up at you.

“Oh my god ! I love you so much babe.” You giggled and told him cheekily, a flush creeped your face and neck as he adjusted himself behind the Polaroid, he was your big-big man, with his puffed chest and wide shoulders and muscled arms, his skully balaclava still on his face and you were he grinned at you, the way his hand rested on the small of your back.

“Anything for my princess.” He said with a glint in his eyes, and you just wanted to kiss him square on his mouth, hard and forever.

You un paused the video, 3,2,1-

… Take a look at my girlfriend

You pulled back the Polaroid, revealing your big man and Riley baby pulled you to him, cupping your whole body as he flicked up his balaclava enough to kiss you through the audio was done, your shirt riding up as climbed on your tip toes despite Simon was leaning his best to claim you.

Some time later while your clothes were tossed somewhere and you were resting on his chest, re-watching the draft.

“ We need to shoot it again.” You huffed, trying your best mock glare at him, he watched your with oozing love, putting his finger under your chin.

“Ofcourse Princess...Got distracted this time.” He smirked, and you just about died.

I never seem to get a lot (ba ba da da, ba ba da da)

Grim Reaper! Simon

Masterlist

[radiation]

I’m soooooooo hungry I want domios pizza I want talkoyaki I want anything. Get me some fettuccine alfredo gimme that uh, that spicy spaghetti that ramen noodles anddddd I’d like a glass of milk please and some peanut butter and crackers and strawberries and a grille cheese… don’t forget the red pepper flapes…. I have a sweet tooth a salty tooth a sour tooth, all of my teeth all the food all for me I’m the delightful foodie with so much to see gimme a little bit of rice and sushi I want it now… a burger of a medium size a side of cruspy yumbly fries give it to me as I please and I’ll show you the Foodie’s Fantasy I’ll eat anything for dinnerspiration….a fond milkshake a BLT even though I don’t care for bacon … hot dog you name it i crave it, I save it I’ll savor it with an open mind I’ll try and I’ll and find , my food joy , the hidden glee , I haven’t been able to see , and for the record I wanna say I’m sorry, for Eating that tomato past when I should, it wasn’t good but I’ve learned mh lesson I won’t be messin if it’s past its due date, I know I don’t wanna waste but there’s danger in that taste, so see me turning over a whole new leaf, spinach leaf, romaine , I’m back to real life again and I just wanna give a shout out to those who believed in me even when I made food mistakes, you gave me a break and I will forever appreciate the kindness it took to see me at my worst , But now I’m well versed so PASS THE BRATWURST shout out to German ancestry, shout out to every country everywhere reppping best foods, I’m talking india ethiopia a foodie’s utopia. Let’s make dinner let’s make a move let’s make a stand let’s go international hand in hand eating every dish we can and when the plane lands - back in america that freedom land they’ll look at me and say, what a truly Hungry man.

[eruditetyro]

i love talking to californians. they have such personalities sometimes

[realmoondragon]

nah boned bananas way better (this is not a dick joke; repeat, this is not a dick joke)

obviously im of the belief that labelling food abd the ingredients it contains as clearly as possible is really good practice, and i highly approve of it

but the specific sense of comedy thats invoked in you when you look at a dish that is almost entirely a certain ingredient and theres a little sign next to it that reads “THIS ITEM CONTAINS [INGREDIENT]” is something that cannot be ignored

[bluemoondelight]

I keep thinking about the line "You're not welcome here, you're not welcome anywhere" because that means that Logan was driven away everywhere he went, that he was unwelcome at every turn. I just can't help but wonder what Logan was doing to care for himself for all those years after the incident. Like did he always have a place to sleep at night? Did he manage to get a meal in him every day or did he go days without eating? When he eventually did get kicked out of a bar after drinking himself to the point of blacking out, was it normal for him to just wake up in an alley or on a bench somewhere? Logan didn't even try to fight back with the bartender, did he ever just let people beat him up because it's what he thought he deserved? Did he ever get dumped on the edge of town somewhere after he got jumped by some anti-mutant assholes for daring to step into a motel to get a place to sleep?

Can you imagine what he felt when Wade asked him to stay with him at his apartment? Someone actually thinking about his needs, his wellbeing for once instead of turning him away? The feeling of being able to take a shower, to be able to get regular meals, to have a real bed to sleep in at night? Do you think Logan feels overwhelmed by Wade's kindness because he was just surviving for so long he forgot what it was like to have a home? For Wade it's so easy to provide for Logan, it's as natural as breathing. "Of course we can order takeout, what do you want to eat? You pick tonight, peanut, my treat." And then he's so shocked when Logan breaks down at such a simple thing but to Logan it's more kindness than anyone has ever shown him for decades? Do you think Al ever senses that Logan is not used to being taken care of, so she holds his hand and tells him that he's okay? That he's safe now, he doesn't have to worry about a thing, and she has to rub his back when he starts crying because he's not used to such kind words?

Can you imagine how Wade feels when he wakes up at night to find Logan crying while he's holding him so tightly, and he finds out it's not because he had a nightmare but because he finally feels loved and safe and taken care of? And how that fucks Wade up because *he* finally felt loved and accepted regardless of what he looked like or what he did with his life? And then they lay there crying into each other because they're both so grateful that they have each other?

[tonixe]

hii i love ur writing and the k you for the noir fic!! there’s not enough content for the boys and i appreciate it so much!! can i request jealous homelander x reader? tyia!

♱ — rapacious — ♱

A/N: I was itching, with no craving to make a homelander fic, and ideas just ran through me, but thank you anon for requesting this, and letting my devious idea run free. P.S. Im not sure bout that black noir fic, this was asked in July, but yk thank you for still requesting <3. Btw H/N is hero name.

WARNING: oral sex, p in the v, no condom we fuck raw, creampies, non-con, tw: homelander, gagging, cursing, non-con, threats, forced breeding and nudity.

PAIRING: jealous! homelander x reader

WORD COUNTER: 2.1k

Life with Homelander was great, something so great that it makes you go insane, crazy...good crazy may be bad for some, but you could take it, right?

Vought, was another thing, watching over your shoulder and making sure everything went well, I mean with you there were a lot fewer casualties than usual. Soon things got less complicated with Edgar and Madelyn being gone from Vought, basically Homelander leading the company with Ashley as a puppet.

It was chaotic per se, where Homelander's watching eye was everywhere in the building. His leadership didn't make anything better but worse. With the seven keeping on being replaced and disappearing mysteriously, surprisingly you were still there with the same everything, no new rebrand, no nothing just staying in place.

You didn't mind it at all, I mean you still had a job and were still getting paid. Even with the weird shift of Black noir, instead of his quiet demeanor, he was talkative which was a change. It was evident it wasn't noir and everyone in the seven knew it, but nobody questioned it. You didn't mind but preferred the change, and even started talking to him.

He was a little better than old noir, not in combat but in being amusing, even spending time with outside meetings and regular superhero activities.

"So how the fuck did you manage to even fly like that?" You asked while you walked with him down the hallway,

"I have no idea, it just happened?" Black Noir II shrugged, you nodded at his words as you took a sip of the peanut butter frappuccino from Vought's cafe, it was a plus that he wasn't allergic to peanuts like the old noir. It wasn't a glow-up from the old noir but a plus. You two chatted as you got into the elevator, it was abruptly stopped by a red, white, and blue cape fluttering into wedging between you both, making you step back, it was Homelander.

The atmosphere immediately got tense than it was once a carefree mood, it was quiet.

"Good morning Homelander," you said, it was met with a nod from him, "Morning Sir," Black Noir said to him, only for him to glare at him, "Don't fucking talk" Homelander ordered, clearly annoyed that he was talking.

It was suffocating being in the elevator, you just took a sip of your frappuccino, praying for the elevator to open up quickly.

Guess your answers were answered rather quickly, as the doors of the huge elevator opened to the meeting room, the giant seven table in front of you.

The Deep, Sage, Firecracker, and A-train were already in their seats. "Good morning sir" The deep stood up, saluting him which made you laugh a little. You immediately took your seat next to Firecracker, and the meeting started. It was a blur to you, something like finding the leak in Vought, which you had many questions about.

The whole meeting was led by a different Sage, your eyes flicked towards Homelander, he was staring at Black Noir. You averted your eyes away,

God, you have to pay attention more often.

You couldn't help but take a sip of peanut butter frappuccino, "Would you fucking stop" Homelander's voice interrupted Sage's presentation, all attention was at him and he was staring directly at you.

"Um...Sorry" You hesitating looked back at him, and you felt eyes on you. You couldn't help but your heart to beat faster,

You watched Homelander rubbed his head in annoyance, closing his eyes before staring to you, "Could you slurp any louder?" He said, his voice dripping with annoyance and sarcasm.

"Sorry" You muttered, putting it back where it was,

"No..nope" Homelander repeated, he pointed at you again, "Be a good girl and put it in the garbage" He snapped. You looked around, with everyone staring at you, "Okay" you responded, slowly getting up from your chair, taking the cup in your hand, and throwing it in the garbage before sitting down.

"Good"

With that statement, the meeting continued on, with your face heating up in embarrassment, as you sank further into the chair.

Sage's voice engulfing your thoughts,

You got interrupted by a note being thrown at you, it was obvious it was from Noir that somehow got to you without Homelander looking, you grinned a little bit, secretly opening up the crumbled piece of paper.

[I'll buy you a new drink after the meeting] - Noir

You read the note, before turning your attention to him and smiling, quickly putting the note in the pocket of your suit before Homelander can see it. Combing your hair back and leaning back into your chair.

Soon the meeting ended, getting up from your seat, and everyone else was doing the same, yours scanned and the room soon landing on Firecracker still in her seat. But you didn't care much to ask why, but more excited to hang out with Noir after this awkward meeting.

"Everyone can go expect H/N" You heard Homelander's voice mentioning your name made you freeze. You stopped where you were, "You can go Firecracker" Homelander turned to her,

"But..um Homelander sir—"

"You can go," Homelander said again but in a more threatening tone, "Now" After he said she scrambled out of the meeting room.

Soon it was only you two left in the room, you watched hesitantly as Homelander turned to you. "Y/N, we need to talk," Homelander states, you could hear his voice straining, with concealed anger.

You looked up at him confused, "About..what?" You asked.

You watched as he walked around you, his pace was slow, you listened to his footsteps echoing around the empty meeting room, before he stopped suddenly, " Do you think I'm just stupid?" Homelander said, his tone catching you off guard.

It wasn't confusing that Homelander was speaking to you in anger, you rarely got him angry knowing you both were together and your relationship wasn't publicized due to his status.

"No, definitely not John," You replied, using his name instead of his hero alias, made him freeze before he stared at you.

Jealously was gnawing inside of him when he looked at you, "Tell me...are you fucking him" Homelander snapped at you, your brows knitted together in confusion at his words. "No, we're just hanging out—why would you ever think that?" You stuttered over your words, as Homelander walked closer to you.

He reached out for your face, harshly grabbing your chin with his hand, tilting your face to meet his eyes. You felt his glove hand digging into your face, his eyes closely turning red, you just felt fear, you were terrified. You knew he could smell your fear, and hear your rising heartbeat. "John...I would never cheat on you, I'm yours" You entreated, trembling under his grip.

Finally, his grip got looser and then he dropped your face, making you stumble a bit.

"Then show me," Homelander said,

You were confused about his words, "What?"

"If you love me..show me" Homelander sat down in the seat in front of you. It took you some time to process his words, confused at what he was saying, "Come on, strip for me" signaling towards your chest.

Your brows furrowing, "Come on, if you don't do it" Homelander leaned in his seat, "You won't like it if I do it" He finished,

"Now strip" He repeated, his tone more irritated.

You took a breath in and started undressing. Unzipping your suit, feeling the cool air on your bare skin. Your suit falling on the marble floor echoed through the room, leaving you in your bra and panties.

"Bra and panties too" Homelander eyed your chest.

You comply, putting your hand behind you and clipping your bra off, discarding it on the floor, and stepping out of your panties, leaving you fully naked in front of him.

"Come here" He patted his lap, "Crawl" he pointed at you. You sank down to your knees and crawled towards him and stopped in front of him. "Come on, you know what to do" You felt his hand on your cheek, stroking it.

You looked down at his growing member in his pants. Hesitatingly looking up at him through your lashes, as you started to undo the bottom of his suit revealing his cock, you looked up at him, "Use your mouth" You leaned in and inched his cock into your mouth, before taking him whole. Homelander moans out feeling your warm mouth enveloping his cock, feeling his hand gripping your hair making you wince.

You slowly bob your head down on his length, his grip on you getting tighter. Your ears perched up at his straining voice barely containing his whimpers as he watched you intently, taking him whole. "Fuck, your good at this" Homelander groaned, jerking you away, taking his cock out from your mouth. Staring at your disheveling appearance, spit dribbling on your chin.

His hand still fisting your hair, "Your pretty when your like this" Homelander chuckled, before forcing you down his cock, making you gagged. Tears prick on your waterline, saliva staining your chin, his grip never loosening as he abused your throat,  thrusting into your mouth, the sound of slick, the sounds of wet suction filling up the room.

His pace turning frantic, fucking your mouth.

Homelander threw his head back as waves of ecstasy washed over him. His hips buckled uncontrollably as he lets out a guttural groan, filling your mouth with his cum. "Fuck, ..." He pants, chest heaving, before he gripped your face, "Be a good girl and swallow it" He threatens, feeling the hot liquid going down your throat, swallowing it.

His grip loosening and releasing you. You panted for air, feeling his gloved-hand stroking your cheek. "Now, stand and lean over at table" Homelander ordered, as you got up from the floor and obeyed his order, propping yourself on the table, and bending yourself over the glass. You couldn't help but to feel excited for the pain, the slick dripping down your legs. You waited in anticipation,

Before feeling his cock stretching you out, biting down at your lip at the simmering pain, arching your back. His hands on back of your waist, "Fuck" you mumbled, gripping the end of the glass. Before he thrusting into you, "You think Noir would please you like I do" Homelander growled into your ear, his breath warm on your skin "N...no" you mumbled, feeling his cock tearing you open, feeling himself stretching your cervix.

His ministration was more painful next than the next, feeling his cock stabbing you over and over again. The sounds of flesh slapping filled the room, letting out a gasp, your voice wavering in pain. His thrust driving deeper into you, clenching down on his cock, feeling his grip digging into your skin.

You hated how you were slowly enjoying this, feeling yourself coming close to your climax. Your body tensing up as you feel your skin warming up,

His hips stuttering against yours, "Fuck, I'm close" You felt his hands stroking your hips, "What if I just cummed inside you, breed you myself, have my kids, and have a family...then ill have you to myself" He whispered,

You felt your heart in your throat, "Pull out" You tried to get away from stone grip, "Homelander, please" You begged, only for your face to be shove down on the glass table. Scrambling underneath his grip, just to get him off you. "please" you cried.

His pace getting frantic until he thrust into you for the last time, feeling on cue your body shuddering as he came into you. Feeling himself spilling inside you, making you freeze on the spot.

Feeling him finally pulling out of you, leaving you there stunned. He kissed your shoulder, the kiss feeling lingering on you.

You heard the sound of him putting his pants back on. He stared at you before walking towards you, before sighing, you turned your head to him, "I forgive you, you know" He said, his hand behind his back watching your pitiful form,

"Just don't do it again" he pats your head,

"Now get dressed, we have a date" He smiles, listening to his footsteps descending from you.

[withahappyrefrain]

The 5 Times You Flirted With Bob + The 1 Time He Picked Up on It

Summary: You've fallen for your friend and have decided to drop some hints that you're flirting. Unfortunately, Bob doesn't realize that immediately.

Warnings: Language, no y/n, female reader, reader has a callsign (Honey)

Thank you to @dissonannce for this amazing idea. Thank you @acewritesfics for the dividers!

"Your hands are so big."

It took Bob a moment to register that you were in fact, talking to him.

"Oh! Um yeah. My ma made me do piano because she felt I was given the hands for them," Bob wiggled his fingers for extra effect, "Y'know, since they're so long."

Yes, they were quite long. It was one of the first things you noticed about Bob. Well, after you noticed his beautiful blue eyes, his endearing lopsided smile, the way he was so considerate of everyone else, so gentle, and yet there was an underlying confidence about him. He was sure of himself, but he didn't feel the need to brag.

Who could blame you for falling head over heels for him?

You flashed him a smile, hand reaching towards his.

"It's just, your hand is so much bigger than mine. See?" You propped his arm up, allowing your palm to press against his, both your fingers spread out to showcase the difference in size.

"See? My hand is so small compared to yours," You giggled. Bob looked down at your hands. Your breath hitched, your fingers twitching, dying to entwine with his.

"Yeah, there is quite a difference in size," Bob said, giving you that small smile you adored so much. That smile gave you the confidence to entwine your fingers with his.

"I think they fit pretty well together, see?" He wasn't letting go. He was still smiling as he looked down at your hand holding his.

Maybe this was finally it, he'd finally realized that you liked him and would-

"I'm gonna go get some more peanuts, can I get ya anything?"

You mustered up a smile, trying to cover up your disappointment, "I'll take a water. Thanks Robby."

As soon as he left, you shot Jake a dirty look, "Seresin, you said that shit would work!"

Jake, who had been pretending to play a game of pool with Bradley, Javy, and Mickey, put his hands up in defense, "Because it usually does! Everyone knows when a girl compares hand sizes it means she wants you!"

"Everyone but Bob apparently," Javy muttered.

"Maybe you just need to be more obvious?" Mickey suggested.

You sighed. You knew Bob. The last thing you wanted was to be so blunt it would overwhelm him. But at the same time, you two had been doing this whole 'friends but also more than that and I'm pretty sure we're flirting?' for the last month and you were getting annoyed with it how seemed to be going nowhere.

Perhaps Mickey was right. You were going to have to be a bit more obvious.

"Bee? You ready?" Bob called out from your living room. Bob's nickname of your callsign (Honey) always brought a smile to your face, as well as heat to your cheeks.

"Almost! Can I get your thoughts on this top?" You asked as you walked in.

"Yeah, I'm sure you look-oh." Bob's eyes widened as he took in the green top you were wearing.

It was tighter than the shirts you normally wore, highlighting your breasts. The fabric stopped right at the end of your rib cage, showing off your stomach and bringing attention to your high waisted jeans, which according to Jake "did wonders for your ass".

"What do you think?" You clasped your hands together, the action causing your breasts to stick out even further.

"Um the uh, the color is really great on you. B-brings out your eyes," Bob said, his eyes looking everywhere except you.

With the way his cheeks were bright red, it gave you confidence to step forward, your body now inches away from his, "I was hoping it would bring out something else besides my eyes Robby."

"I mean you you look great in everything you wear! So mission accomplished," Bob said quickly, his hands fidgeting with his car keys.

"Anything else you want to say about the outfit Robby? I really value your opinion." You stood on the tips of your toes, bringing your chest closer to Bob's face.

It was the first time since you walked in that his eyes landed on your chest. He cleared his throat, as if he was gathering up the courage to say it.

"You should grab a jacket, it's supposed to go down to the low sixties tonight," He said, turning around to head out the door.

God damn it.

You grabbed your phone, quickly texting the group.

Honey: We need to go to Plan C.

Rooster: Plan C?! You're saying the top didn't work?

Bagman: Dude, your tits were like out.

Rooster: Maybe they weren't out enough?

Coyote: If they were out any more, Honey would be getting a public indecency charge.

Phoenix: Maybe we shouldn't use clothes to express our feelings? Just a thought 🤦🏽

Fanboy: Yeah Nat, that's plan C.

Payback: Can we not blow up the group chat tonight? The finale of Insecure is on.

Your right leg bounced up and down in nervous anticipation, your eyes never leaving the entrance to the Hard Deck.

"You don't think this is too much, is it?" You asked your friends/coworkers.

"Nah, it'll be perfect!" Mickey reassured you.

"You and Bob are going to walk out of here holding hands by the end of the night, guarantee it," Jake commented as he lined up the balls for a round of pool.

It took all your strength not to jump out of your seat when you saw Bob walk in. His iridescent blue eyes scanned the room, landing on you. He always seemed to search for you, which had to be a sign that he wanted more, that he felt the same way as you did.

You greeted him with a smile, patting the empty seat next to him.

"Hey Robby! I got something for you!" You called out.

Bob just smiled as he sat down, "I see you got my signature: water and peanuts. Thanks Bee!"

You giggled, shaking your head, "Yes, but that's not just it. These are for you!"

Bob stared at the bouquet of flowers you were holding out for him.

"For me? These are for me?" He asked, eyes wide as saucers.

"Yes! I was just thinking, like why is giving guys flowers not a thing? Because it totally should be! And no one deserves these flowers more than you Robby," You explained, a hopeful smile adorning your face.

Bob gently took the bouquet, admiring each flower.

"I thought they would go well with your eyes-that's why a most of them are yellow," you explained, trying to hide how nervous you were.

"These are perfect," Bob said before leaning down to smell the flowers.

"Really? Each flower has a different meaning," you began, hoping that by fidgeting with your hands, you'd be able to conceal your nerves.

Bob simply smiled, his face the epitome of saccharine, "Oh, I already know."

Your breath hitched, "You do?"

Bob nodded, "Oh yeah! Alstroemerias symbolize support, sunflowers are for loyalty, and violets stand for intuition!"

He wasn't wrong. You couldn't tell if you were upset by that or the fact that Mickey forgot flowers can have more than one meaning.

Time for Plan D.

"Hey Robby! You ready to watch hot people make poor decisions?"

"Ready as I'll ever-that's new," Bob said softly, taking in the new loungewear you had on for your biweekly Love Island watch.

"Oh this? I think I got it last week," you said as you let Bob into your apartment, "It's super comfy and it has pockets!"

It also was cut low, showing off your cleavage, as well as the tops of your thigh.

"Yeah, the uh, color looks really good on you Bee," Bob commented. The compliment brought a smile to your face. He noticed you, noticed you were wearing something new, and seemed to be noticing your now exposed skin.

"Well, let's go see if these folks gain any common sense," you grabbed his hand, practically beaming at how your hand fit perfectly in his.

"Somehow I doubt it," Bob chuckled.

When he offered to hold the popcorn for while you two watched, you weren't disappointed. Sure, it meant you weren't able to hold his hand. But it did mean you could move closer to him, your thighs practically touching.

"I really hope he doesn't take her back," Bob muttered, his eyes glued to the screen.

"He will. They always do," you sighed, gently moving your head so it rested against one of his broad shoulders.

If your action had any effect on Bob, he didn't show it. Which was the problem.

"I would pick you in the recoupling," You revealed, hoping that would be enough, would finally be enough.

Bob smiled, placing a hand on your knee, "That's kind of you Bee. But I think friendship couples go against the nature of the show."

It took everything in you not to scream.

The rest of the night was just a typical Love Island watch night, no touching, no initiating, no declarations of love, and ending with Bob giving you a friendly hug goodbye.

With a sigh, you flopped onto your bed to check your messages.

Bagman: Bee, please tell us it worked and you're marking sweet love to baby on board

Phoenix: you're disgusting Seresin.

Rooster: why would they stop fucking just to text you Bagman?

Bagman: so we can pop some champagne to celebrate

Fanboy: Why the fuck is would we do that?

Coyote: It's a big event! Bee told Bob how she feels AND Bob's getting laid!

Payback: Can I just get one night of peace? Just one night?

You: No one's doing anything bc it didn't work!

Rooster: Not trying to be rude, but weren't you like almost naked?

Bagman: Like 52% nude.

Phoenix: JFC, we're going to plan E folks.

Coyote: Is that when we just lock them in a closet?

Bagman: No that's plan G

"Hey Bee!"

The cheerful, charming voice always brought a smile to your face.

"Hi Robby!" You greeted him with a hug, the comforting scent of rosemary filling your nostrils, "You smell really nice."

"Oh um thanks," A hand flew to the back of Bob's neck, a nervous (and also adorable) habit, "Wanted to smell nice after doing all those pushups out in the sun."

"Well it worked, you smell great," One of your hands reached up to the nape of his neck, toying with the hair that had curled at the end, "Look great too."

The tops of Bob's cheeks were now a dusty pink, "It's just a white Tshirt."

You took a step forward, placing your hands on his chest, "It's a good look Robby. Shows off your muscles. I like it on you.

Bob's lips parted, then promptly closed.

"Uh, t-thanks Bee." He had to know now that you were flirting with him. It was clear as day.

Feeling confident, your hands trailed down to his, grasping them, "We should dance!"

You didn't wait for Bob to answer, dragging him out to the middle of the floor. The sounds of Bradley covering Frankie Valli (begrudgingly, as apparently Jerry Lee Lewis was better) filled the bar.

After a few minutes, Bob's shoulders visibly relaxed, a smile spreading across his face. You threw your head back laughing as he bust out a goofy dance move.

Everyone thought Bob was shy, but that wasn't the case. He was observant, determined to get a good read on someone so he knew how to approach the situation accordingly. Once he was comfortable, his personality shined and he was a sweet, goofy man who you adored with all your heart.

The grin you had was so wide, your cheeks were beginning to hurt. But you couldn't stop, not when he was twirling you around.

"Where did you learn to dance like that?" You asked, having to say it into his ear so he could hear your voice above the music.

Bob shrugged, "I come from a big family. When you know you're going to a lot of weddings, knowing how to dance helps. That and my mom made me do cotillion."

"Well, all that practice paid off. You're a great dance partner Robby." You rested your chin against his broad chest, looking up to meet eyes bluer than the ocean.

In that moment, all you could do was focus on him. The way the corner of his eyes creased when he truly smiled, his comforting scent, his pink, thin lips that you were dying to feel on yours.

You wondered if he could hear your heart pounding, if he could feel it since your body was practically on his.

His hands found their way to your arms, gently placing themselves on your biceps. Was this it? It had to be.

So you stood on the tips of your toes, your lips now closer to his. Your eyes began to close as you leaned in to-

"I gotta go. Jake stuck his foot in his mouth again."

This wasn't a lie. But it still didn't dull your disappointment. Nor did it sedate your growing frustration at this whole situation.

Perhaps you didn't need Plan G or H Perhaps it was time to go with your original plan.

The next time you saw Bob was when Nat threw a small get together to celebrate the end of a long week.

He was wearing that damn white Tshirt again. Whenever he brought his cup of water to his mouth, the fabric stretched across his bicep.

Was he doing this on purpose? Did he know? Consciously or not, that you had fallen for him ever since you two first met at training?

Either way, you were tired of this game you had been playing for the past month.

"Are you sure about this?" Natasha asked.

You simply nodded before taking a shot of vodka. A little liquid courage was always nice.

"Nat, he's oblivious. Honestly, I don't know why we didn't do this the first time," Jake commented as he took the shot glass out of your hand.

"Because we didn't expect him to be that oblivious," Mickey countered.

"Well everyone, wish me luck." You walked out of the kitchen to find Bob still sitting on the couch, glass of water in hand.

His eyes met yours and he gave you a smile sweeter than honey. Your legs began to wobble, whether it was from that smile or your nerves, you couldn't say.

You walked over, making a beeline for him. Bob's eyes widened, his fingers gripping his cup. Your gaze was so intense.

"Hey Bee-oh!" Bob froze as you sat down in his lap, your thighs straddling his lithe hips.

"Hey Robby," your hands found his shoulders, fingers toying with the thin cotton fabric of his shirt.

"Uh Bee, there's um, there's a seat right there," Bob weakly pointed to the empty space next to him.

"I don't want that," you leaned forward, your forehead grazing his, "I want you Robby."

His eyes widened once more, as if he just saw an incoming train, "M-me?"

"Yes. Wanted you ever since that first day of training, when you offered me a mint," you told him.

"I uh, you looked sleepy and mint is known to wake you up and," Bob paused, "Did you say since the first day of training?"

You nodded, smiling at how you were able to see him process this information.

"The first day of training?" He repeated.

"Yes Bob, all you did was offer me a mint and smile to make me fall head over heels for ya," your fingers now went up to the back of his neck, twirling the curled ends of his hair, "Been trying to tell you that for the last month."

Bob opened his mouth, then promptly closed it, his brain still processing everything.

"You good Rob-" You never got to finish your sentence, as Bob decided right then was the best time to press his lips against yours.

His lips were soft and tasted faintly of vanilla, no doubt from the chapstick you watched him reapply. His touch was gentle, his thick fingers ghosting over your thighs, trailing up to your waist. Every move, no matter how small, made your heart fluttered.

Being so close to him, you could smell his aftershave, a mix of eucalyptus and sage. It was intoxicating and you wanted to be surrounded by it all the time, wanted to kiss him all the time.

When he broke away for air, you had to hold back a whimper, your lips desperate for more.

"FINALLY!"

You turned your head to find Bradley, along with Mickey, Natasha, Jake, Javy, and Reuben standing by the doorframe, in perfect view of you and Bob.

You smiled and opened your mouth, ready to make a quick remark. But Bob's fingers hooked underneath your chin, turning your head back to meet his lips again.

Unlike the first kiss, this one was bolder. His lips moved against yours with more confidence. Your whole body felt warm, as if you were floating. His hands now cupped your jawline, which is how you learned that Bob's hands practically covered your whole neck, a discovery that sent you reeling.

Your hands trailed up to his head, desperate to feel his sun kissed locks, desperate to find out if they were as soft as they looked. But just before you could, Bob broke away.

"What?" Anxiety came rushing back, dragging you away from Cloud Nine, your previous location. Did he regret it?

"Let's go."

He moved your body to the empty space on the couch, quickly getting up. You took his hands, allowing him to help you get up. You held onto one hand as he led you to the front door.

"Bob! What are you doing with my backseater?" Javy called out.

"Making up for lost time!"

Maybe you should be a little embarrassed. But how could you? You had finally kissed the man of your dreams, he kissed you back. He wanted to leave with you.

The sounds of the house party fainted, becoming soft background noise as you went outside.

Bob stopped, turning around to face you. Before you could get out a sound, his lips were on you again. His hands pulled your body to his, closing the gap in-between.

You couldn't help but moan when you felt his tongue slide against your bottom lip, immediately granting him entrance. You could hear Bob's breath hitch, his hands roaming across your body, touching your soft skin.

Abruptly, he pulled away, leaving you desperate for more.

"Why do you keep doing that?!"

"I...." His face was flushed, "I meant to ask you if if you drove yourself here. But you looked so kissable. You still do, God I just wanna kiss you again."

"I'm not stopping you Robby," you grinned, stepping towards him, "I'm not stopping you at all."

"Oh don't tell me that darlin'" his Midwestern upbringing laced his words. You always loved his accent, having found it not just unique but also comforting.

Somehow, despite his lips pressed against yours, Bob was able to walk you back to his car, your back meeting the cool metal.

His broad body draped over yours, his tongue frantically exploring your mouth. Your fingers reached up, grasping his hair. It was soft and much thicker than you expected.

What else was there about Bob you had yet to learn? What kind of toothpaste he used, if he drank tea or coffee in the morning. Did he fall asleep to rain sounds or silence? How many pillows were on his bed?

You wanted to know everything.

But right now, you just wanted to kiss Bob.

Your fingers tugged on his hair in an attempt to pull him closer to you. Despite his chest being pressed against yours, it wasn't enough. You wanted all of him.

"We should get in the car," He said, voice breathless. With the way his chest was rising, one would think he had just ran ten miles.

Bob began moving towards the driver's side of his truck, but he stopped, turning back to you.

"I want to take you home," He stated. It sounded like a confession with the way guilt laced his eyes.

"I would love that Robby."

Instead, he just shook his head, "But I shouldn't because you deserve more than that. You deserve a nice date, like that Italian restaurant we always pass when we go to Bradley's. You deserve that and flowers and a lovely dinner with candles and wine that's older than both of us-"

You cut him off by gently pecking his lips, "It's okay Bob. You could take me to that diner up the room from your place tomorrow morning and I'd be elated because I would be with you."

He shook his head, clearly torn between continuing to talk and continuing to kiss you, "But....it's the least I should do. I mean, after all the hints you were dropping. I thought you were just being friendly and-"

"What friend asks another friend to look at their chest?" You asked incredulously.

"I thought maybe we were just really close! That you were really comfortable around me, which is why I didn't think anything regarding what you wore when we watched Love Island. I mean," his face reddened, "I did think about it. Um I thought about it a lot and if you ever want to wear it again, I would not mind-"

"Bob," you stepped forward, placing your hands on his chest.

"I mean, you got me Violets! Those mean loyalty and devotion, as well as delicate love! And believe me I wanted to kiss you at the Hard Deck, but that is entirely Jake's fault-"

"As most things are."

"And looking back it was so obvious and I can't believe I didn't pick up on it," He paused, "Sorry, I I had to get that out. I can take you home or back to my place, whatever you want."

You giggled, delighted by his ramblings. You wanted to hear more of it.

"And now I just want to kiss you. Like all the time," He confessed, his lips moving closer to yours.

"Robby, get in the car," you instructed.

"Oh, um, okay," Bob unlocked his car, moving towards the driver seat.

"No Bob. Get in the back of the car," you instructed.

Bob's brows knitted together in confusion, "But then how will I drive-oh!"

Who knows if you were going to make it back to his place or yours. All you cared about was getting your lips and hands back on Bob Floyd.

[repulsiveliquidation]

For Club and Country || Alexia Putellas

warnings : smut (18+), Daddy kink, cunnilingus, strap-on's, throat fucking, choking (r giving + receiving), slight subspace, riding, fingering, spanking, rough sex.

summary : Alexia is on a hot streak, scoring stunner goals at the last minutes to send her country closer and closer to the finals of the Olympics but she needs her girlfriend to help her burn off all that excess energy the only way she can think of.

“What a goal scored by Alexia Putellas in the last seconds of the game to send Spain to the quarter finals!” 

The girls are overjoyed and your voice is hoarse from all the screaming you’ve been doing over the past few days. With your Alexia jersey on proudly, you’re sitting next to her mother in the stands hugging each other joyfully. 

Alexia comes over and climbs up onto the stands, hugging her mother. She smiles when she sees the look on your face, proud as can be of your girlfriend. Her mother shoves you into her daughter's arms and you cling to her tightly, telling her how proud you were of her in her ear. She sighs into your form, whispering a thank you as the whole stadium starts to drown itself out. 

You cup her cheeks and smile with tears, kissing her hard on the lips. She doesn’t care for all the cameras pointed in her direction, she was proud to show you off to them. 

“I love you,” she whispers when you hug her again, arms tight around your middle. 

“I love you too, mi reina,” you giggle, holding yourself back from jumping the stands. She doesn’t stop there, her arms that were tight around you haul you over like you weighed nothing, before yelling to her mother that she’d text them where to meet for breakfast tomorrow.

“Alexia! I can’t go in there!” you scold, dragging your feet like a toddler hoping she’d stop. 

“Don’t worry about it, it’s fine,” she grins, pulling you into the changing rooms. 

The girls don’t even flinch seeing you there, chucking out hi’s and hello's all across the room. You wait patiently, praying no one finds you in here and punishes the team for it. 

“Come,” Alexia calls, hand held out for you to take. 

“Alexia,” you start as you walk towards her cubby, “I can’t be in here amor, what if they penalize you?”

“Oh please, everyone’s brought their significant others everywhere in the olympic village, why the hell do you think they gave out condoms in the welcome bags?”

“Those condom wrappers were very cute though, don’t you think?” Laia inserts, pulling her shorts on after taking a shower. Alexia strikes up a conversation with her, agreeing that they were such a nice touch to the goodies. Ona grins at you and you sit beside her, elbows on your knees. 

“She’s been raving about you the entire time, you know?”

“Really?”

“La Reina isn’t as private as the world thinks.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Let’s just say the whole team knows what you’re in for and you’re certainly going to like it.” 

Just as you’re about to ask her to elaborate, you hear Alexia calling your name. You look at Ona suspiciously and she merely shrugs, going back to massaging moisturizer into her calves. 

“What are you up to?” you ask your girlfriend and she acts like you’ve asked her to give up football. 

“Nothing!” 

“I heard the girls talking.” 

“You only heard Ona talking and you know she’s a shit stirrer.” 

“Alexia!” 

She shoves you onto the team bus headed back to the village and you sulk, arms crossed over your chest like a child. Alexia takes a picture and sits beside you, a bag of peanuts in her hands that she’s already munching on. 

“What did Ona tell you?”

“She said you’ve been blabbing to the team about what you’re going to do to me all week,” you lean in, “you’re not going to murder me and leave my body in the dirty seine are you? It would certainly leave a bad taste in the triathletes mouths.”

“Madre de Dios, ¡no!” 

“Then? Alexia, if this is a shitty surprise, I’ll punch you!” 

She takes a deep breath and suddenly goes cold, leaning in with her lips pressed right against your ear. 

“Ahora escucha aquí, nena. He estado trabajando muy duro en los Juegos Olímpicos y necesito desahogarme. You're going to help Daddy do that, sí?”

You’re sitting and you still feel your knees go weak from her tone. 

“Yes Daddy,” you whisper and she smiles proudly, hand in your lap rubbing her thumb gently.

You’re sitting right in the front of the bus, feeling the burn of the girls staring at you hard. They all watched as you threw a little fit trying to figure out what Ona was on about but it seems like Ona wasn’t lying after all.  

Alexia stands up and you watch her with wide eyes as she goes through the analysis of the game with the team. Her mouth is moving but you can’t hear a thing. All you can think about is all the things you wanted that mouth to do to you. She noticed but kept it subtle, hand resting on your shoulder with a tight squeeze. 

As the girls begin to argue amongst themselves playfully, Alexia leans down and whispers one last thing before reaching the village. 

“Close your mouth darling, you’re giving yourself away to the girls. Wouldn’t want them to see how I'm gonna use that pretty mouth later right?” 

You close your mouth fast and wipe the corners with your hands, sipping deeper into your seat. Jenni, who’s sitting diagonally behind you, sees you reel yourself back. As the bus comes to a stop and the girls begin to gather their things, her tall self leans over and says something in your ear that gives you butterflies. 

“Be good for her, si? Your contributions to the team are greatly appreciated,” she tells you, winking as she steps off the bus. 

Alexia takes your hand and you’re a little startled, standing up and following her off the bus. You hear the girls begin to holler and it takes everything in you to not tell them to shut up. Alexia yells at the to calm down before disappearing into a different hallway to the rest of the team. 

“Why aren’t we with them?”

“I’ve got a surprise for you, mi princesa,” she tells you, pulling a blindfold over your eyes. You trust her to take care of you, feeling her press herself into you from behind to guide you. You hear a door open and the scent of lavender hits you; the sound of several locks being engaged behind you should not have turned you on as much as it did. 

“Alexia, what the-” 

“Surprise,” she says with a calm smile, hands pulling the blindfold off gently. She lets you take in the room, busying herself with the bags of goodies she’s brought in. 

There’s a table filled with snacks, oils and your favorite coffee. The bed has a huge towel on it and a diffuser already going on the side table. Alexia comes up behind you and smiles, hands resting on your hips. You lean back into her and smile, feeling her warm breath on your shoulder comforting. 

“I’ve been feeling so much energy build up over the past few days and you’re the only one who can help me, princesa,” she starts, turning you in her arms. “Will you?” 

“Yes Daddy,” you answer, letting Alexia do whatever she wanted. 

She starts by taking your bag off you, laying it carefully on the tv table. Her hands reach for her jersey on you, match worn by the way, and she gently pulls it off you. 

“This jersey looks so much better on you than it does me,” she whispers seductively, kissing your cheek as she comes closer to mess with your shorts. Her hands skillfully pull the buttons open and zipper down, pushing them off your hips eagerly. 

“Eres tan hermosa, mi reina,” she tells you, hands smoothly tracing your every line and curve. 

“Only for you, Daddy,” you whine, hand reaching back to cup her head as her lips begin to leave kisses all along your neck and back. 

She picks you up into her arms suddenly, the show of her strength sends waves of pleasure straight to your core. Your breath picks up and she notices, smirking as she places you down in the middle of the bed. She strips herself naked and you stare at her shamelessly, eyes ogled at her toned abs and violently perky breasts. 

She pulls her strap on and turns to face you, eyes taking in the look on your face. You’re still staring, face with a little look of surprise and desire. It sends pulses to her cunt that she rather enjoys, crawling onto the bed between your legs. She kisses you, the feeling of her soft lips gives you a sense of calm. 

Your breath quickens as her hands caress your thighs and she groans at the feeling of your warm skin. The soft flesh beneath her fingers makes her mouth water and she wastes no time in letting out her energy. Teeth sink into your thigh and make you moan, the sharpness of her teeth only makes you wetter and needier. 

Big, rough hands press your legs to your chest and have you in a vulnerable position, pussy clenching tightly as you feel the cold air on your leaking arousal. Your lips are already bitten, sore and swollen, breath hitching when Alexia practically bends you into half. Your knees reach your ears and air fails to reach your lungs properly, sending your head spinning in the most pleasurable way possible. 

“Hold them there,” growls Alexia, large hands spanking your ass as it opens up for her. Your pussy glistens at her and she smiles, leaving two more harder smacks on your ass. They’re red and it leaves a sting but you don’t move a muscle. 

“Feels good princesa?” Alexia asks, looking down at you. She grins when she sees your eyes slowly go in and out of focus as you nod, settling into a headspace that she absolutely loved. You were ‘pliable’ and trusted her to know what you needed though it was said to be what she needed; Alexia had always prioritized your pleasure over hers. 

She circles her fingers around your soaking clit; they’re slow and send pulses of energy right into your veins. You knew Alexia meant it when she said she had the energy to go on today, so you settled into your comfy space and let her do whatever she wanted. But you knew for her to do so, you needed to tell Daddy.

“Daddy?” you whisper, looking right into Alexia’s hazel eyes. 

“Sí, princesa?”

“Want you to use me, do whatever you want,” you whine, tears already prickling in your eyes 

“Oh sweetheart,” she states pompously, “I was already going to.” 

Her thick fingers have filled your pussy more times than you can remember but when you were lightheaded and a little oxygen-deprived, the feeling of them filling your pussy always sent you into hysterics. 

Your pussy swallows her fingers obediently and they’re just long enough to press into your sweet spot every time they pump inside. She spreads them and works on opening you up, free hand pressing your thighs open wider. 

“You take them so well, mi amor,” Alexia praises, eyes glued to your core. You stretch around a third finger that joins the two, sounds of your pleasure fill the room. 

You can hear how wet you are and you turn a little red with embarrassment. Alexia however, has her ego boosted when you begin to slightly cream around her fingers. She groans and fingers you faster, lips wrapping around your clit as she begins to suck hard. 

Her tongue flicks over your clit as she sucks, fingers pressing right into your sweet spot with every pump of her arm. Her free hand holds you down as you thrash about, pressure building up behind your belly button hard and fast. 

“Daddy!” you moan, cumming around her fingers and making a little mess on her chin. She pulls away grinning and licking her lips, fingers shoved into her mouth after to taste you. She moans and pulls your legs back down, crashing her lips onto yours. 

You kiss hot and hard, one breath shared between two. She pulls away and you fall in love with her all over again, hand grasping your jaw to pull you back into the kiss. You melt and tangle your tongue with hers, feeling her hands caress your body in ways only she knew possible. 

“Turn over, princesa,” Alexia demands, strong arms already turning you over. You push your ass up and arch your back as deep as you can for her, slipping a pillow under your head to hold onto. 

Alexia spanks your ass again, harder this time and it leaves a handprint on your cheek. She aims and spanks you again, hitting the same spot. Like earlier, the sting is pleasurable and makes your thighs shake, lips left whimpering for Alexia. 

“More Daddy!” you whine, and she gladly obliges. Five more spanks land on your ass, blood pricking underneath your skin. She’s aware of what you’re doing, knowing you’re really prepping yourself for when she’s seven inches deep inside and fucking you roughly. 

Alexia shifts her focus to the silicone dick she’s got hanging between her legs that seems to be neglected. She moves beside your head and you look up at her, clearly seeing that her oral fixation needed satiating. 

Your jaw slacks and she slips in, moaning when you take most of the toy down your throat. A loud gag rings in the room which only motivates Alexia more. She holds your hair in her hands, fucking your mouth hard. She groans and swears loudly, hips driving the toy deep into your cavity. She pushes your head down onto her cock and you gag noisily, before she pulls away and the mess you leave only spurs her on. 

She slaps your cheeks and kisses you sloppily, holding your body up like a doll. She presses you back down and slips into your mouth again, fucking your throat faster. 

“Fuck baby, taking Daddy’s cock so well,” she praises, “getting me all wet to fuck your pussy aren’t you?” 

She pulls you off her cock and gives you a stern look, your brain short-circuits as you struggle to form a coherent answer. Alexia chuckles. 

“Yes Daddy, all for you!”    

She lets you go and you flop onto the bed, her strong hands pressing your back into the deep arch she went feral for. She slaps her cock on your entrance and you beg for her to put it in you, voice breaking when she slips it in mid-sentence. 

“What was that, darling?” she teases, cock buried to the hilt inside you. 

“Fuck me!” 

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” she growls, fucking into you hard. The sound of skin slapping loudly you were sure could be heard throughout the whole village but you did not care. The pure ecstasy your girlfriend was administering at the moment brought fog into your brain. You were on cloud 9. 

Her cock slipped so easily into you, filling you deep and thick. Your walls gripped and she welcomed the resistance, hands grasping your hips as leverage to fuck into you harder. 

“Like this, bebita?” 

“Exact-” you choke, as she angles her hips to hit your sweet spot, “EXACTLY LIKE THIS!”

She pounds her hips up into you and you’re seeing stars, the tug behind your belly button starts to build up again. 

“Daddy!” you scream, feeling the dam break as you come again. Alexia doesn’t stop and you’re becoming delirious with pleasure. It’s red hot and almost makes you pass out, before Alexia stops. 

“Fuck mi reina, want you to ride me,” Alexia says, laying down as you climb into her lap. You’re absolutely soaking and sit on her easily, cock filling you up in a different way in this position. You slowly build up a rhythm, hands lightly wrapped around Alexia’s neck. 

Her eyes roll into her head and she grins mindlessly, hands tightly gripping your hips. You bounce faster and she feels the air slowly leave her head as you begin to grip her neck a little more. 

“Is this what you wanted, Daddy?” you ask cheekily, grinding your hips on her cock slowly. Alexia spanks your ass and suddenly tightens her already tight grip of your hips. 

“No, I wanted to do this.” 

She lifts you and fucks up into you with power you didn’t know your girlfriend had. Her cock reaches places inside you you had never felt before. She was rearranging your guts and it fucking felt amazing.

She turns you over and doesn’t lose an ounce of power, hips fucking into you so hard the bed was moving. She held your lower body up as she fucked you, your back arched off the bed so far that your shoulders were barely touching the bed. 

“You want me to cum in you, baby?” she grunts, panting hard but her hips never slow down or show signs of wanting to. Her hands wrap around your neck this time and squeeze hard, the pressure behind your navel goes from 0 to 100 in mere milliseconds. 

“Yes Daddy, YES!” 

You squirt all over Alexia which sets her orgasm off. She moans your name and your lips crash on hers, breathing each other in. She fucks into you slowly which gives both of you a nice, long high. You tuck your face in her neck and take her in, wrapping your arms around her sweaty skin. 

“I love you,” she whispers, holding you in her lap with her cock still inside you. 

“I love you too,” you whisper as she pulls out, kissing you one last time before carrying you into the bathroom to clean up. She carefully washes you clean in the shower, paying more attention to you than herself. You gently clean her up too, kissing loads and loads between scrubs. She does eat you out one more time before the water goes cold, one last cry of her name echoes in the room before midnight curfew. 

Back on the team bus the next day for training, you have her hoodie on and the hood pulled up, a slight limp in your walk. Alexia walks onto the bus as smug as can be, all the girls whistling like teenage boys as you try to negotiate with god to open the ground up to swallow you. 

“Daddy please!”  “Fuck me!”  the girls yell, making faces and teasing you the whole ride there. You’re blushing an undiscovered color of red, thoughts running a mile a minute as you replay the events of the night before in your head. You catch Alexia’s eyes and she smiles a knowing smile, putting one on your face too.

Ona coming up to you just as they start to get off the bus again. 

“Didn’t I tell you you’d enjoy yourself?” 

“Oh shut up Oni,” you scolded loudly before pulling her close enough to whisper in her ear. 

“Tell me everything she says about sex, will you?” 

“¡Vamos España!” she yells with a wink, leaving you giggling and excited for more. 

[javierpena-inatacvest]

It's Never Too Late Masterlist

Summary: You are an elementary school teacher who just moved to Texas for a fresh start when you meet a very handsome man from the Laredo Sheriff's Department coming to give your class a presentation.

After your co-workers pull some strings for you to meet again, you and Javier Peña find yourselves falling head over heels for each other.

Story takes place post Narcos Season 3 in Laredo, Texas, starting May 1997.

Paring: Javier Peña x OFC (Reader is an elementary school teacher whose nickname is Osita, no use of y/n)

Warnings: SMUT (18+ chapters containing marked with * and each chapter will also have its own warnings), language, fluff, romantic comedy, reader has physical descriptions, Javi being so soft and getting all the love and affection he deserves, you two being the biggest weirdos so in love

Status: Ongoing

Let me know if you want to be added to a tag list for new chapters as they come out! :)

Main Story:

Chapter 1: I D.A.R.E. You

Chapter 2: What's Cookin', Good Lookin'?

Chapter 3: I Wanna Be With You Everywhere*

Chapter 4: Add You To My List*

Chapter 5: You're The One That I Want*

Chapter 6: Dinosaurs, Dates and Diners, Oh My!*

Chapter 7: School's Out for Summer*

Chapter 8: My Favorite Cowboy*

Chapter 8.5: 007- Peña, Agent Peña*

Chapter 9: I Promise*

Chapter 10: Happy Birthday, Javi*

Pt. 1*

Pt. 2*

Chapter 11: Abe Froman, Sausage King of Chicago *

Chapter 12: I Love You. I Know. *

Chapter 13: There's No Place Like Home*

Chapter 14: Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas*

Chapter 15: She Shoots, She Scores*

Chapter 16: The Lone Star State*

Chapter 17: No Ifs, Ands, Or Butts*

Chapter 18: Hole in None*

Chapter 19: Good Luck, and Goodnight*

Chapter 20: I Do

Pt. 1*

Pt. 2*

Chapter 21: Paradise* (New 11/7!)

Spin-Off Series:

Forever and Always*: Slices of life following the Peña family after their first child

One Shots (In chronological order of the main storyline):

Movie Night*

Dirty Laundry*

Again*

You're My Home*

Not Yet*

Happy Valentine's Day, Javier Peña*

The Mouse and the Motorcycle

You Make Life Worth It

Take Me Home

Plaid Pajama Morning

Agent Peña*

Every Inch*

Soup for Breakfast

Whatever My Wife Wants*

Fever*

Oh, Baby

Insatiable*

Peanut Butter and Pickles

Sail Away

You Make Lovin' Fun*

Asks/Headcannons:

Javi and Osita before work

Javi's DEA Jacket

Javi's Tac Vest

Javi and Osita when they argue

Javi being distractingly cute

Javi when he's sick

Javi helping with Osita's pregnancy cravings

Osita when she's pregnant

Osita after a bad day at work

Javi coming home after work to his kids

Javi and Osita deciding how many kids they want

Javi and his daughters at the Eras Tour

Extras:

NSFW Alphabet- Javi and Osita*

1K Followers Celebration Asks and Answers

Never Too Late Playlist

Mood board

Timeline of NTL

[rueclfer]

heyy there can i request some more touya headcannons? i really enjoy your way of picturing him because it’s just so canon and he’s kinda a lovely dick y’know. whatever comes to ur mind. thank u so much!!

weelll since you gave me so much freedom here r some touya as a housemate hcs ANNDD a moodboard bc i enjoy the visualization <3 since we talked abt this the other day too !! (i yapped so hard here sry sry this is so indulgent)

bakugou's and sero's version too hehe

housemates // touya todoroki

touya hates the idea of living with a complete stranger or one of his siblings, so what other option does he have other than forcing his best friend (crush) on a lease with him?

the newfound freedom definitely puts him on his ass for a few weeks. barely sleeps. eats like shit. trash is scattered everywhere. several unpacked boxes. it stays like this until fuyumi comes over to check our the place and gives you two a hard scolding to get your shit together.

more often than not, you'd end up waking up on the couch with your legs sprawled out across his lap and his upper half leaned over the couch arm rest in deep sleep. staying up so late was probably one of his favorite things about living together. being able to talk as loud as you wanted, watch movies late into the night, look over the city from your balcony- he found solitude in existing with you.

if he wasn't already codependent before moving in together, just know his ass will be GLUED TO YOU. you'd be doing work in your room and he'd barge in and flop down on your bed without a word. maybe he'd gotten a bit too comfortable.

if he's feeling extra annoying that day, he'd bring in his guitar and amp and keep asking you to rate his riffs until you entirely give up on work and give him some attention.

is it obvious his love language is quality time? not only that, gift giving too. he's like a fucking crow.

"look what i found. it's a rock. for you."

makes him soooo giddy to see your display of the rocks, feathers, and dried up flowers he picked up for you on his walk. sometimes you'd come home and there'd be a new addition to the ever growing collection.

ofc you'd return the energy in a different way. touya will not cook for himself. ever. he eats like shit as an internal rebellion against the healthy diet he was forced upon as a kid, but you will not allow that boy to rot himself from the inside out!! he can expect several tupperwares of portioned out meals with notes attached to the lids if you know he'd be home all day by himself.

"to t <3. if you don't eat every last bite i'll find out and it'll hurt my feelings and i might combust into flames or something idk don't risk it!"

i can also imagine him holding back tears whenever you ever come into his room to hand him a bowl of cut up fruit. the first time you do it he'd be speechless like jaw dropped taken aback. has he ever felt love like this??? i think not.

despite all of the kind gestures, he's still touya todoroki. hides your keys if you annoyed him that morning by rushing him in the bathroom and makes you a few minutes late to class/work. chronic door slammer. pisses with the door wide open. no sense of privacy and do not gaf to knock. always locking himself out -> i feel strongly about this like imagine coming home after a long day and he's sitting out in the hallway with a pouty face waiting for you hehehe.

i don't think he'd realize this crush until a few months after you've moved in together. how could he when you two practically already act and bicker like an old married couple?

yes- peanut butter belongs in the fridge. no- it doesn't. stop leaving your socks everywhere. you forget to flush again. stop slamming the doors. you ate my chips, didn't you? don't lie. did you really need to put the mugs up that high? (he does it on purpose, and tightens the lid to every jar too.)

it wasn't until one late evening when he comes home to find you frantically mixing a doughy substance in a large metal bowl. you never bake, but you have your own oven now, so why not?

"god, finally. help me, my arms hurt." you groan, shoving the bowl in his hands. "i think i fucked up."

he sees the hurricane aftermath of your kitchen- flour everywhere, egg shells left on the counter, every single jar imaginable opened and scattered around. he could be teasing you about the mess, but god you looked so beautiful with that stupid wrinkle in between your eyebrows as you read over the recipe, and the streaks of flour across your pant leg from wiping your hands, and the way you swipe away the stray pieces of hair falling in your face with the back of your hand- oh fuck.

he thinks he's falling in love with you.

he swallows it, but he starts acting kinda weird around the apartment.

like he's.... avoiding you?

living with his best friend whom he just so happens to develop a crush for, would eat him alive. he locks himself in his room and chain smoke out his window while he's stressing the fuck out. he told you he'd stop smoking, but he's sure you'd understand the need for it right now. he hopes you can't smell it.

i also think he'd be a stress cleaner lmaaoo he cannot sit still with his thoughts for too long, so the headphones are ON and blasting and he'll definitely use that as a scapegoat + the loud ass vacuum for ignoring you if you try to talk to him while he's on this cleaning frenzy.

you think he's sick LMAO imagine the pain he feels when you come knocking on his door and calling out that you're leaving a bowl of soup and cough medicine outside his door for him. he doesn't tell you that yeah he's sick but *not in that way*

lovesick. that boy is lovesick!!!!!!

how do you avoid your housemate while you figure out how to control your feelings?

he confesses via note that he leaves on the kitchen counter. really simple tbh nothing too extravagant, but he signs off by telling you that he's staying crashing at fuyumi's for a couple days.

you text him a string of obscenities to get his ass back home and he does (he's scared of you).

he CAANNOOTT talk about his feelings in an adult way. he is sitting on the complete opposite side of the couch, twiddling his thumbs, and staring down at his feet like a child while you reread his confession note out loud to him. you find his discomfort hilarious but endearing. he finds you unbearably insufferable.

jesus the amount of times in that apartment where he would storm off to his room whenever you two got in an argument or you pissed him off...old habits die hard, you guess, because this isn't the todoroki household anymore and you aren't scared to lose that deposit and kick a door down.

once you corner him and get him to open up about his feelings the air in the room suddenly shift!! the clouds are clearing and the sun is shining woooowww look at what good communication can do.

sharing an apartment with your BOYFRIEND is no different than sharing one with your best friend. i think he'd like to keep your separate bedrooms to have your own space, but you'll rarely sleep apart.

so! many! new! traditions!

helping him dye his hair on the first saturday of every month. biweekly horror movie marathons. counting the communal piggy bank ever couple months. trying new takeout spots until you find THE spot for every category- chinese, pizza, ramen, etc etc.

and finally, an everlasting mark on your first apartment together: a small carved out heart around your initials left on the inner corner of a kitchen cabinet done with his pocket knife on a random weekday evening while you two are cooking dinner together.

-

touya tag: @moonchild701 @kaldurahms-lover @themultifandomgirl @devilslittlehelper @porusuniverse @ratatellie @katbug37 @ggriwm

[dixons-sunshine]

“And then the wolf said, “And I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow yer house down.” And just like tha', the first lil' piggy's house, the house made'a straw, was blown down in a matter'a seconds. It was quite the sight, ya see. Straw was blown everywhere. All'a the lil' piggy's “hard” work was ruined. Personally, I dun' see wha' he did as hard work. Buildin' somethin' from straw dun' seem tha' hard to me, but I ain't ever tried to build somethin' from straw 'fore, so I guess I can't say tha', huh, Peanut?”

You chuckled fondly as Daryl told the story to your baby—well, technically your baby bump—with his own spin on the tale as old as time. His head was resting on your bump as he told the tale, and your fingers were softly and tenderly working through his hair. He was also gently caressing your bump, adding to your own comfort. It was a serene moment, one that you treasured dearly.

“The wolf then went over to the second lil' piggy's house. “Lil' pig, lil' pig, lemme—” Daryl's words were cut off by the feeling of a kick, and he let out a small gasp. He looked up at you, a look of wonder in his eyes. “Was tha'—”

“Yeah,” you cut him off, your fingers still gently treading through his hair. “It was a kick. I think Peanut loves the story, and your voice.”

Daryl gave you a small smile. “Yeah?” he asked rhetorically, his hand gently rubbing your baby bump. He brought his lips down to your exposed stomach, placing a tender kiss to the bump. “Do ya love the story, Peanut? S'it a good story?” As if responding to his voice, the baby kicked again, eliciting a chuckle and a soft “ow” from you. He looked up at you in concern. “Wha's wrong?”

“Nothing. That kick just stung a little, is all,” you told him reassuringly, gently taking his hand and leading it to where the last kick was, encouraging him to rub there, both to ease the slight pain and to have him feel if another kick happened—which it did.

Daryl smiled and pressed another kiss to your bump, right on top of where the kick was. “Ya gotta ease up on yer mama, lil' one,” he whispered affectionately. “I love feelin' yer kicks, but it can hurt yer mama if ya kick too hard. Ya gotta be careful, alrigh'?” In answer, your baby kicked again, this time gently enough to feel like a mere flutter more than anything, but hard enough for Daryl to feel. Daryl chuckled and pressed yet another kiss to your stomach. “Tha's more like it. Good job, Peanut.”

You smiled fondly at the sight. You had no doubts in your mind that Daryl would be a good dad, but this little moment just added more confirmation to your previous thoughts. However, you knew that if you brought it up, and no matter how affectionately you put it, Daryl's mood would dampen. No matter how many times you told him he'd be a good dad, his fears would overshadow that statement. So you settled for something else instead.

“I love you, Dar.”

Daryl looked up at you with a fond smile. “I love ya too, Sunshine. So fuckin' much.” Daryl placed another kiss to your bump. “And I love ya too, Peanut.” He rested his head back on your stomach, letting out a small, contented sigh. “Now, where were we? Oh, yeah, the second lil' piggy. Now, the wolf went up to the second lil' piggy's home, the one made'a sticks, and...”

As Daryl carried on with the story, you laid your head back on the pillow, closing your eyes in contentment. Yeah, you had no doubts that Daryl would be an amazing father, and you couldn't wait to meet your little one and officially start your little family.

©dixons-sunshine 2024. I do not give permission for my works to be copied, modified, adapted or translated to any other site or platform without evidence of my given consent.