#paying thousands so i can think about minor characters in an old as books and giggle during class time

[peachykneesjellybees]

enjolras’s and grantaire really Are the people who won’t stfu in intro philosophy that everyone hates huh

[windflowerofskellige]

@ancient-space-cat-03

I will take the time to address your comment because this is a common take, and I think it's worth addressing. Radovid is twelve when his father dies, we know the year he was born (1255). The Witcher one takes place in 1270, and each subsequent game takes place the next year (1271 for The Witcher 2 and 1272 for the Witcher 3). Radovid is in the Witcher 3 seventeen years old. Now, I will not blame you for not knowing that as they purposefully portray Radovid to be much older than he actually is, which is as we stated at the end of the previous post, is to narratively push you to make the choice for the Empress Ciri ending.

Let's address a couple things about Nilfgaard though, since you say that Nilfgaard is the better option. The subjugation of the North into the empire would have devastating socioeconomic consequences on both parties. Moreover, Nilfgaard winning the war is devastating for Nilfgaard in both a political sense, and a military sense. Emhyr does not have the support of his people, that is why he is waging another war to get Ciri. This is direct quotes from Morvran in the Witcher 3, who is a reliable source on conspiracies against the Emperor given that his father has been plotting to put him on the throne of Nilfgaard since he was a small child (he is also 16-19 in the Witcher 3. We don't have an exact year he was born but he's a minor book character for Nilfgaardian politics and we know he's around the same age as Radovid and Ciri because of this, if you didn't know that's alright because it's like Radovid not portrayed accurately in the slightest.)

Now if you're not familiar with this that's alright, it is an easily missable conversation you can have with Morvran after the horse races if you didn't kill Aryan in the Witcher 2 (or you chose the option that he didn't die in the simulated playthrough) at Maria Lousia's Novigrad estate. You can approach him and ask about current Nilfgaardian politics in which Morvran mentions that it's clear Emhyr seeks his daughter as the Nilfgaardian nobility have been pushing for abdication and he doesn't have an heir as well as hinting at the political marriage between him and Ciri if she did become Empress.

The Nilfgaardian Empire is barely holding itself together, it's society is economically dependant on war and conquest and they're barely holding onto the Northern provinces they do have in the Empire. (Think the Nazairi resistance and other rebellions amongst the empire.) The complete conquering of the North as implied with a Nilfgaard ending would result in more rebellions, and the collapse of the empire under the undo stress and hardship. In the long run that is not better or economically viable for the North. More people will suffer in the fallout than under Radovid's reign.

Now you mention the pike stake of Keira as reason to hate Radovid, and that's fair, but the systemic and widespread death and distruction, the entire city of Cintra and Rosberg in Aedirn being razed, the countless deaths and more from the burning of crops amongst the peasantry, the taking of those who survive into the slave trade, and the exile of Cahir are not reasons to hate Nilfgaard? The death of one sorceress who was part of political and conspiratorial plots against the Northern Realms monarchs and part of the Lodge of Sorceresses who have actively destroyed vital points of the north and contributed heavily to the destabilisation of the North is more important than the hundreds and thousands of people harmed by Nilfgaard? The ruthlessness even it's nobility is subjected to?

This is not an anti-nilfgaard blog, this is just stating fact. Nilfgaard does not have a moral high ground over Radovid.

It seems you have not watched through the torture of Philippa (i.e. gouging her eyes out in the Witcher 2 at the end of Iorveth's path and you mention you're still playing it so I am not judging you for that) or if you have you were not paying attention well (which is fair if you've already been playing a long time I know my attention span only lasts so long). He lays out in great detail why he does what he does. He is seventeen, has been severely abused, this woman canonically killed his father and forced him to suffer because she wanted power and control, has ties and connections to the assassinations of Foltest and Demavend which again, fit Philippa's M.O. that's already been established. Even with his gouging of her eyes out he is very clear that she will stand trial for her crimes and go through due process. Now as a fan of Philippa it is totally okay to not like what he did to her. But he is not acting unreasonable of a King his age and in his time period. In fact, the fact that she would go through a trial at all is more reasonable than most in his situation. He has more than enough reason, evidence, and support to execute her outright and he doesn't.

The last point you have is the impression that Radovid is an asshole, that's personal interpretation and totally valid but also heavily and directly influenced by the biased narrative CDPR portrays, as well as lacking the information on Radovid's age which again, is seventeen. You'll be hard pressed to find a seventeen year old, especially one with the trauma and status of Radovid, who isn't the slightest bit an asshole and is not entirely indicative of his merit as an adult.

All in all my point in the original post was not that you're not allowed to dislike the character, but it was specifically about the structural ableism in CDPR's portrayal of Radovid (i.e. using coding of psychosis and other mental illness to demonise Radovid and push you to side with Nilfgaard) and was not intended to be indicative of a particular stance on how you personally should see Radovid. It was not even intended to comment on the debate on whether Nilfgaard or Radovid is the lesser evil, though I have laid out the points of my opinion even as a fan of Nilfgaard. It was simply pointing out that Radovid's portrayal in the Witcher 3 leans into ableist tropes about people with mental illness as a means to justify the Empress Ciri ending.

I find Radovid to be a compelling antagonist, villain if you prefer. He is not right in his hatred of all sorceresses due to severe childhood abuse laid on him by one, but you can follow him down his corruption into the ruthlessly practical King that tortures and kills sorceresses for the sins of one particularly nasty one. At the end of the day, the decision between Nilfgaard and Redania is one in a moral grey area in which you, like Geralt in Renfri's story, have to choose what you think is the lesser evil.

On the list of unhinged rants I have about Radovid the Fifth of Redania I will begin with why I don't think he's actually insane and the argument that he is along with the madness plotline in the Witcher 3 is actually playing into demonising people who experience psychosis and not an actual conscious choice to make a character actively going through a psychotic break.

First we need to establish that Radovid is seventeen in the Witcher 3. He's born in 1255, he's been abused by Philippa Eilhart most of his life. That's canon. I WILL pull up the flavour text book screenshots from the Witcher 3 if you ask.

Now, I am not saying severe PTSD cannot trigger psychotic episodes, but I don't think that's what Radovid is experiencing. He's a severely abused child in a position of power who likely killed his mother to get that (as Hedwig was the Queen and who got control when Vizimir passed.) This sparking the Philippa fled conversation in the Witcher 2 torture scene (remember he's 16 there.) Radovid says "you fled so fast I didn't have time to give you a proper goodbye." He knows she killed his father. How? Likely the Redanian Intelligence network which is larger and better than the Nilfgaardian intelligence sector, nothing to scoff at. We came to this conclusion based on the reasoning Dijkstra flees Redania and runs off to zerrikania and gets himself an elf boyfriend.

Radovid is completely grounded to reality in these moments. He knows what he's doing to Philippa he knows why, he does not seem to be hallucinating, he's strategizing, he's acting logically, his speech is not slurred, it is coherent in a normal cadence and speed, he's fine.

No the Witcher 3 madness plotline is likely there to play into stereotypes about psychosis and to make you more sympathetic to killing Radovid should you choose to go through Reasons of State (though I don't know why you would the only person acting in character in that questline is Philippa who absolutely would kill the child she abused for gouging her eyes out because you know, that's normal and healthy). From a narrative purpose it has a function, it's just a bad function.

Radovid's portrayal, especially in the Witcher 3, by CDPR seems to narratively be used to push you towards the Empress Ciri ending should you choose to sell her to Emhyr (again, don't know why you would but okay.) It is done to make Philippa more sympathetic and to make everything about Radovid less icky. If he is not an abused teenager, it's not as uncomfortable to kill him, and it makes going for the Empress Ciri ending more palatable. I have. Feelings about this and I could elaborate but it's midnight so I will not.

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 5x01- Previously on...

Welcome back!! I’m so excited to be writing one of these again. I think this hiatus has been the longest I’ve gone without new Diane Lockhart content in ten years, and it sure feels like it. A lot of important stuff has happened in the time since TGF season four ended (not concluded—ended). Most notably, CBS All Access became Paramount+ and suddenly started offering a lot of content I care about! I kid. 2020 was quite an eventful year, so I was curious how television’s most topical show was going to take it on. TGF is always forward-looking, but too much happened in 2020 to be ignored. And while I didn’t think TGF would have much to say about the pandemic, it seemed impossible to imagine a season five that pretended it never happened. Going into this premiere, I was expecting that they’d either skip COVID entirely or include very few references, but after seeing this episode, I feel like the writers took the only approach that made sense. And that is why they are the writers, and I'm just some girl on the internet who writes recaps.  

Anyway, before I dive into the episode, I should also note that my pandemic boredom spurred me to actually pay $30 to watch this episode early as part of the virtual ATX Festival. Yes, I paid $30 on top of the money I spend every month on Paramount+ for this show. But I write tens of thousands of words about each TGF episode—are my priorities really that surprising? I note this not to brag or even to poke fun at myself, but because watching the episode before I knew a single thing about it (not even the title!) completely changed my viewing experience. I’ve never had an experience like this with TGW or TGF. I’m one to search for critics tweeting cryptically about screeners and refresh sites looking for background extras (haven’t done this in the TGF era, though) and read every single piece of press I can find. For any big episode, I usually know the outline of what to expect going in (I even knew about Will before the episode aired in the US!). Not this one! So, I got to be surprised, and I had to—gasp—formulate my own opinions before I knew what anyone else thought! It was really pleasant, actually. I think the structure of the episode worked extremely well for me because it caught me by surprise... and also because I’m the kind of person who somehow managed to write a college paper about Previously On sequences.

I see Tumblr has made it so that “keep reading” expands the post in your dash instead of opening a new tab. I absolutely hate this. Here is a link to the post you can click instead of the keep reading button! 

The ATX stream started mid-sentence, meaning I missed the “Previously On... 2020...” title card and skipped right to Adrian saying “I’m retiring.” It was pretty easy to pick up on the device (the directness of the scenes at the start, their cadence, and their placement in the episode made it clear this was meant to mimic a Previously) but the second title card hit way harder because... well, I had no idea if this was meant to be 2020 or some moment outside of real time until a bit later in the episode.  

Man, before I get any farther into this, two things that I don’t know where else to put. First, this episode had to cover so much ground. They had to write out both Adrian and Lucca—more on that later--, figure out how to deal with all of 2020, figure out how to either wrap up or continue all the truncated season 4 plotlines, and set the stage for a new season... in 50 minutes.  

Second, just wanna shout out the Kings’ other Paramout+ show, Evil, which you should absolutely be watching even if you hate horror. Evil is a Kings show, so it is unsurprisingly topical (sometimes evil takes the form of racism or misogyny or Scott Rudin) and at times very, very funny. I would be recapping it if Paramount+ weren’t attacking me personally by airing it at the same time as TGF. Ever hear of too much of a good thing, people?! (On that note, I am VERY upset with myself for not having made a Good vs Evil joke about the Good shows and Evil. I didn’t even think about it until Robert King made the joke on Twitter, and it was right fucking there. How did I fail so miserably?!)  

So STR Laurie, who wants a 20% downsizing, is still a thing. Noted.

This scene with Landau is the only one in this previously that is actually old footage, right?  

Unexpected Margo Martindale! Yay! (Ruth Eastman is a character who is so much more effective on Fight than she was on Wife and I’m quite glad they’ve had her appear on Fight several times. It kind of redeems season seven. Kind of.)

I don’t think the writers intentionally chose for Adrian’s book deal to be with Simon & Schuster because it is the most politically fraught publisher (the number of stories about controversial memoirs they’ve picked up in 2021 alone...) but I kind of like that Adrian’s Road Not Taken involves S&S. My guess is they chose S&S because it is owned by ViacomCBS.  

“Years ago, I wanted to create a law firm run entirely by women, but it never worked out. So, why not now?” Diane says to Liz. One of the advantages of having twelve (!!!) seasons of Diane Lockhart is that we’ve seen what she’s talking about. And we’ve seen her put this idea forward multiple times, too. I have my reservations about Diane’s brand of feminism, and I’ll say more about how fraught a Diane/Liz firm would be as the show explores the potential issues there, but on the surface I’m kind of excited about the prospect of a Diane/Liz led firm. Diane has wanted this for ages, Liz is a good partner, and this actually makes sense (unlike the nonsensical Diane/Alicia alliance of late season seven, where the only rationale was “well, Alicia needs to betray Diane in the finale, but they’re not on good terms. So maybe we make them business partners so then the betrayal stings more?”). Plus I fully love that Diane would end up running a firm with Alicia’s law school rival.

(Has TGF mentioned that Liz and Alicia were law school rivals? No. Am I still clinging on to that as a large part of Liz’s character? ABSOLUTELY.)

Julius is on trial for Memo 618 reasons; Diane is defending him. So this is still happening. (There’s more old footage here.)  

Do they put these references to one/two party consent in these episodes as a wink at the fans? It has to be intentional. (Please do not ask me what the actual law is on this, this show has thoroughly confused me.)  

I knew Cush was filming stuff for TGF, but I didn’t know it was for the premiere. She was just posting about it a few weeks ago, so either they shot a lot of it right before air or she posted a while after filming. Anyway, yay Lucca!  

Bianca’s still around. And, TGF gets to shoot New York for New York, since Bianca is there. I do wish TGF could do more location shoots; there’s something about seeing an actual skyline that feels more real.  

Bianca wants Lucca, who has never been outside of the country (except to St. Lucia, as Bianca reminds her) to go to London and buy her a resort. It’s supposed to be a three week stay and Bianca’s already arranged childcare. Speaking of children, because of COVID and filming constraints, that’s Cush’s real kid in this scene! You can’t really see him, but I recognized his curly hair from Cush’s Instagram, and the Kings confirmed in an interview.  

Adrian wants to write a book about police brutality cases he’s worked on. Ruth very much does not want him to write that book. She wants him to write a book without substance about how white people and black people can work together. He, understandably, has no interest in writing this book. (Also, you can see in the background that Ruth doesn’t think Biden’s odds of winning the Democratic primary are good—there is a big down arrow next to his picture, which definitely dates this scene.)

Oh, David Lee is in this episode. He acts like an asshole towards Marissa when she’s trying to help him.  

Marissa, not happy with the lack of respect, calls Lucca for advice “for a friend.” Lucca mentions she’s in London and Marissa does not believe her and keeps going on and on about her frustrations and her new desire to become a lawyer—quickly.  

Marissa wanting to become a lawyer because she “hates being talked down to” is not a plot I would’ve expected but it’s also one that makes a lot of sense. I think Marissa’s used to being respected and praised even when she’s doing things that aren’t glamorous, so I see how she’d get very restless when she’s no longer outperforming expectations and is instead taken for granted.  

Bells toll in the background on Lucca’s side and Marissa asks where she is. Lucca again notes she’s in London and Marissa still doesn’t believe her.

I’m going to miss Lucca so much, especially since we’ll also be losing a lot of the Millennial Friendship scenes with her. Cush is fantastic (even if she never really got enough to do here) and she plays so well off of the rest of the cast. I even sometimes liked the writing for Maia (who?) when she had scenes with Lucca, Lucca is that good.  

Jay wakes up sweating and unable to breathe, so he deliriously calls his father-figure Adrian. This whole scene is shot like something out of Evil and (I’m getting ahead of myself here) this plot is the only thing about this episode I felt was a misstep.  

“I think you’re my father,” Jay says to Adrian. Heh, I didn’t catch this line the first time around (maybe subliminally I did, since I just called Adrian his father figure lol) but I love that it is included here. Adrian and Jay’s relationship definitely deserves a goodbye.

Adrian calls an ambulance and also gets to Jay before the ambulance somehow. Adrian notes that Jay might have “this thing from China” and... we’re doing the pandemic, y’all. (Minor nitpick: on March 13th, 2020, when this scene is dated, COVID was not “this thing from China”-- we were all aware of it. March 11th was the day Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson announced they’d tested positive and the NBA shut down and travel was restricted and every single brand that had my email sent me a message about their plans and measures. March 12th was the last time I was in my office, and we’d been getting emails telling us to wash our hands and prepare to work remotely for weeks. I went to San Francisco in mid-late February and distinctly remember deciding to leave a burrito unattended on a table while I washed my hands because I was paranoid about COVID... and then I remember making a specific trip to Walgreens to buy hand sanitizer so that didn’t happen again. My point is, Adrian lives in the same world I do. On March 13th 2020, he would not be treating COVID like it was some new thing he’d vaguely heard of.)  

(I am going to nitpick this timeline, but please know that I’m only doing it because I can, not because I think it’s necessarily a bad choice. Lines like this do feel a little forced, but I see the reason for introducing COVID as something new rather than going for the line that’s exactly historically accurate. I also am pretty sure there are references to dates in March/April in s4 of TGF that are now going to be contradicted by this episode, but I truly do not care. The writers get a pass on this one.)  

We skip slightly back in time to the beginning of March after the MARCH 13TH title card, or maybe this is supposed to be after March 13th and my own memories are preventing me from believing these face-to-face interactions were happening. Who knows.

Michael Bloomberg is... here, again, I guess? He asks Diane to assist with a Supreme Court case about gun control. I guess it does add some weight to the plot and make the stakes feel higher.  

Oh hey, this case is the 7x17 case!!!! Love that continuity.  

Diane and Adrian are both at the office late, working, and there is an unnecessary split screen that feels even more unnecessary when you consider that the editing alone was enough to create the parallel.  

Diane and Adrian have a nice convo (which I’ll really miss, their dynamic is great and this really feels like a successful partnership) as they wait for the elevator. When the elevator dings, they nearly tumble down into nothingness because... the elevator never came. Apparently this is a reference to an law old show I’ve never seen that killed off a character this way, and it’s meant to be a wink at how they are not going to kill off Adrian.

I do not know why I remember this, but I do: after they killed off Will, a critic (Noel Murray; I just googled to confirm my memory) who didn’t want to spoil things tweeted, “Exactly 23 years and 2 days ago, Rosalind Shays fell down an elevator shaft.” Please tell me why I remember this reference that I didn’t even understand well enough to have tracked down the original tweet in under a minute. (https://twitter.com/NoelMu/status/447942456827326464)  

Back on this show, Diane and Adrian share a drink and talk about their wishes. Diane wants to argue in front of the Supreme Court, and Adrian encourages her to speak up. His own near-death experience motivates him to trash the book Ruth has him writing, and Diane trashes the (bad) legal strategy someone else prepared for the Supreme Court.

DIANE IS WEARING JEANS!!!!!! Tbh, I think my favorite part of this episode is how many slice-of-life scenes and settings we get. These are always my favorite moments. I love the satirical and political stuff too, but the character moments are what get me invested enough to write these. (Yes, Diane in jeans constitutes a character moment.)  

Diane tells Bloomberg she wants to be involved and advocates for herself. Kurt gets a call on their landline (hahaha) from Adrian.

God, I love Diane and Kurt. Not only is their banter fun, you can just see a different, more relaxed side of Diane in these scenes. Diane tells Kurt she has good news for herself, but bad news for him since she’s arguing for gun control. She asks him to help her prep for court, too.  

So this is before Jay is rushed to the hospital, because now we are back at the hospital with Julius, Diane, and Marissa. I do not believe any of these people would be setting foot in a hospital like it’s any other day on March 13th, 2020. But I'm trying not to nitpick.

I get why they chose to give Jay a rather severe case of COVID. I just don’t get literally anything else that follows from the initial shock of Jay having COVID.  

I see why the writers chose March 20th (the actual Illinois stay at home order) as the next date for this timeline. I still do not believe that people were in this particular office on that date.  

You know what else I don’t believe? That RBL just shut down for two weeks and was like, no work is being done. Did law firms really do this? I can believe it if it’s an excuse to cost-cut, and I know there were massive layoffs, but this seems... really weird???  

Why are they setting up a teleconferencing infrastructure (didn’t they have one at LG? In season five?) if they are not planning to do work?  

Lol Diane explains what Zoom is, very slowly. She asks everyone to “download a program called Zoom.com” which is one of the first Zoom jokes I’ve chuckled at in a while.  

Marissa is not happy to hear that there’s no work for her in a work-remote world (this I believe 100%), so she calls Lucca again with more questions about law school.

Love these NYC and London location shots. Wish they could do that for Chicago.

Lucca asks Bianca to help get Marissa into a law school, fast, and Bianca tells Lucca to use her name... then offers her a job.

Marissa is at the office, alone, boxing up her things, when one of the office phones rings with some dude offering her a spot in a law school class. I guess we are really all-in on this! (Why would Lucca have given a firm phone number not specific to Marissa, though?)

Adrian and his corrupt girlfriend decide to shelter in place together. I still do not understand why he is okay with her being corrupt. I also don’t really understand why they’re going from talking about sheltering-in-place to George Floyd. How did we just skip from late March to late May? Are Adrian and corrupt gf having a conversation about sheltering-in-place two months into sheltering in place?  

Okay, I am not doing so good at this no-nitpicking thing. Again, I understand why they need to merge several scenes into one to keep things moving. And I guess they could just be getting around to this conversation.

I’m going to nitpick again, I can’t help myself. How did we just go from a scene of Adrian specifically talking about sheltering in place to a scene of Adrian bursting into a bustling and maskless DNC headquarters room? How!? The only masks in this scene are on TV!! There are like ten people in this scene!  

Anyway, more importantly, Adrian tells Ruth off and screams at her that she needs to listen to him instead of acting like she knows the way forward. He is completely right.  

Why is travel from London closing down in May 2020? Is it because this scene is supposed to be at a different place in the episode? Liz is asking Lucca to come back home from her three week stay in London (which has now lasted three months but travel is just now closing down), and Lucca’s hesitant to come home.

This is all happening via Zoom, btw. Lucca’s in her hotel, Diane and Adrian are at their respective homes, and Liz is in the office. All of this feels right. There is a chat off to the side of the screen where you can see Adrian and the others discussing how to unmute on Zoom. Very real. Though probably not very real in late May 2020. Feels more like April. I am convinced this scene got spliced in later to help the episode flow because everything in this scene (except the TV footage that definitely was added later) feels like it should be happening in the March section.  

Lucca mentions that Bianca offered her a job, and at this point we as viewers know how things are going to go—Lucca's going to end up taking it. Liz types in the Zoom chat that they don’t want to lose Lucca. When Lucca tells them how much Bianca’s offering ($500k/year, go Lucca!), Diane types “Shit.” into the chat. “Shit’s right,” Liz replies. “Yes... What should our counter be?” Diane replies. Lucca is kind enough to point out the messages are not private (again, this feels like March not May) but I think knowing that their reaction to topping $500k is “shit” tells her all she needs to know.  

Diane’s background still says that RBL is a division of STR Laurie. Weird how little we are hearing about the overlords except the 20% staff cut.  

Liz and Adrian chat and decide the only way to keep Lucca is to make her a partner. Which, yeah, if you’d just made her a partner years ago when you told her she was in the running for partner and then offered it to fucking MAIA, maybe she wouldn’t be considering Bianca’s offer. Lucca is definitely one of RBL’s stars, and I don’t think she’s wrong to feel like they don’t value her enough. They treat her well enough to be upset about losing her, but not well enough to have already made her partner and not well enough to actually give her authority (even though she runs a whole department). I’d be pretty unhappy too. It kind of feels sometimes like they take her for granted, and I don’t know that Lucca is one to feel like she owes a company anything. She’s more of an “I’m out for myself” type.  

Madeline and the other partner we’ve seen a few times who isn’t Liz/Diane/Adrian, walk into the office (wearing masks! Which they take off as soon as they enter a room with Liz! Without asking her if she is okay with this! TV logic!) and ask who is replacing Adrian. They think this is a good time to reevaluate having a white name partner of an African American firm, and they are spot on. Liz tries to deflect, noting that Diane is already a name partner and was before Liz even joined, but Madeline and other partner (whose name I really wish they would say so I can stop calling him “other partner”) won’t let up. Their position is that Diane shouldn’t have been made a name partner then—all she did was bring in ChumHum, an account that quickly left the firm. Good point.  

“What is this firm if it’s not African American? It’s just another midsized all-service Midwestern law firm, one of 50,” Madeline argues. The other partner says Liz needs to remove Diane and promote two African Americans to name partner. Liz laughs and asks if they mean themselves. Madeline does not—she's concerned about the number of black associates they’re letting go. Liz heads out, but this conversation is very much ongoing.

And I think it’s a very interesting dilemma! There’s a lot of mileage the writers can get out of this, because I don’t think there’s a right answer or a wrong one. It’s all about what Liz decides she wants the future of the firm to be. If Liz chooses Diane, she might be choosing something that works for her personally or that she thinks is a safer financial bet—but she’ll be choosing to work at a firm that can no longer be thought of as a black firm, and she’ll be choosing to move away from her father’s vision for the firm. And since the plot hinges on what Liz will decide rather than what’s objectively the right path forward, there’s a lot of interesting tension there I can’t wait to see.  

(My favorite thing about Adrian leaving is that Liz will likely get more to do, especially when it comes to managing the firm. Adrian tends to speak up first, but Liz is more than capable of managing without him and I’m so excited to see what she does when her ex-husband isn’t constantly talking over her.)  

Marissa and Lucca video chat with Jay. He’s still in the hospital. One thing that bugs me about how this episode handles COVID is that I never really get the sense that any of the characters are particularly afraid of the virus. Maybe none of them were. But you’d think you’d see a little of that fear, the weird dance of trying to assess others’ comfort levels with masking, etc., in an ep specifically about living through this time. ESPECIALLY since someone they all know and are close to has been hospitalized for MONTHS with this thing! It’s just so weird to go from a scene where people wear masks until they come in contact with other people (when masks matter the most) to a scene of someone in the hospital with COVID.  

And now Jay’s weird hallucinations start as his battery dies on the video chat. I really, truly, hated these hallucinations. I was ready to be done with these from the second they started. They’re weirdly shot, they go on for too long, and they feel like the clunkiest parts of Mind’s Eye when Alicia starts having a debate in her mind about atheism mixed with the (far superior) hospital episode of Evil.  

I don’t have much to say about these hallucinations except that I hated them a lot. When there’s the reveal that Jay is hallucinating a commerical, I almost came around on the hallucinations because that’s kind of funny and inspired. And then several more hallucinations popped up and they had a round table and Jesus got added to the mix and I was like, nope, this is bad in a very uninteresting way. I reject this.  

I feel like the Kings didn’t have much to say about COVID, the actual virus. This episode is definitely more about what the characters’ lives were like during COVID and not the pandemic itself. I think they likely got a lot of their COVID commentary out of their system with their zombie COVID show The Bite (I have not seen The Bite due to it airing on Spectrum On Demand, which I have no way of accessing. Like, I would have to move and then decide to pay for cable in order to watch it.) I also suspect a lot of their commentary on COVID isn’t going to be specific to the virus and is instead going to be about things like mask-wearing and vaccinations becoming political. And, really, that’s just a new variation on talking about polarization... and they’ve been talking about polarization for years.

In fact, they even wrote a whole series about an outbreak of a (space-bug-spread) virus that caused political polarization before Trump was even elected. BrainDead is basically commentary on the pandemic before the pandemic even happened. Soooooo I get why they are more interested in recapping 2020 than in doing a Very Special Episode about themes they’ve been talking about for years. (I still think they would’ve benefitted from at least one character being afraid of getting sick or getting their family sick.)  

There is likely some interesting content in these Jay hallucinations. I hate them so much I cannot find it. You know when you’re just on a completely different wavelength than the writers? This is an example of that.  

Also I’m not a fan of the shadowy directing. I think this is meant to look cooler than it does.  

Have I mentioned yet that I absolutely love the “Previously On” device for this episode? It’s such a fun, propulsive way to get through the slog of 2020. Scenes can be short and to the point, and each scene has to do a lot of lifting to fill in the gaps. I think that leads to scenes that are better constructed and telling on lots of levels—where are people when they’re quarantined? Who’s wearing casual clothes and when? What about this scene defines this character’s life at that moment in time?  

Bizarrely, even though this episode is pretty much all plot (this happens! Then that!), I actually found this to be one of the most character-driven episodes TGF has ever done. There’s a lot of story, but most of that story is about how the characters reacted to 2020 rather than overarching plots that will weigh on the rest of the season. This episode covers a lot of ground, but it does it with character moments that resonate.  

Now it’s July and Diane’s prepping to argue in front of the Supreme Court. Kurt’s helping her witness prep and it gets a little personal... and that ends up turning Diane on. Good to see McHart hasn’t lost its spark. (Remember how Kurt cheated on Diane in season 7 of Wife? No, me neither, because that never happened.)  

Corrupt judge is back. Adrian playfully tries to distract her from work. Then he takes a video call from Liz, who updates him on the conversation she had with John (so that’s his name) and Madeline. I guess that part of May was close to July? Anyway, Adrian isn’t surprised to hear that people are upset at the prospect of Diane being one of two name partners.  

Liz is at the office in workout clothes and I love it!

They’re losing 15 black associates (and Adrian and Lucca) and 4 white ones, Liz says. This sounds like a very big problem. (I’d be curious to know what that is as a percentage of the firm and how the racial composition shifts.)

Liz knows it’s not exactly up to her if Diane stays on as name partner (the other partners get a vote, but I think Liz knows she has a lot of sway here). She’s also wondering if Biden could win, and if so, would it be to the firm’s advantage to be black-owned? Interesting.  

“Well. If you’re thinking it, then Diane’s thinking it, too,” Adrian says. He’s right. “White guilt. It runs verrrrry deep on that one, huh?” Ha. He is right about that, too. I actually can’t decide which of these interpretations is correct, because it could be either even though they seem contradictory. (1) Is Adrian saying it with a hint of mockery because he knows Diane will fight for her partnership even as she would say she’s a huge supporter of black businesses? (2) Is he saying it because he knows Diane would have enough white guilt to realize what her presence as a partner means and think through the implications? I think it is, somehow, a combination. I’m interested in this line because this whole dilemma (from Diane’s POV) is something that’s very familiar. Diane’s always been an idealist who will betray her ideals for personal gain. That sounds like an attack, but I mean that as neutrally as I possibly can. There are so many examples of this that this is kind of just a character trait of hers at this point. Usually those ideals are about feminism, but this situation seems closely related.  

Adrian overhears Corrupt GF talking about Julius, Diane, and Memo 618. You would think she would wait to have this conversation until there is no chance of Adrian overhearing, because if Adrian overhears, he might...

... do exactly what he proceeds to do and hop into a car with Diane to give her a heads up. (I think I’m just going to have to accept that the mask usage rule on this episode is “we use masks to show that the characters would wear them, but we don’t want to have scenes where characters are fully masked because that’s annoying.” If that’s not the rule, then why else would Adrian be masked outside... and then take off his mask as soon as he gets into a confined indoor space with Diane?  

Baranski looks ESPECIALLY like Taylor Swift in this scene.  

Adrian tells Diane what he knows. He dug deeper after overhearing Charlotte, so he has even more info. “If you tell me, I will use it,” Diane warns. Adrian knows that, so he takes a moment to decide. And he decides that he cares more about Diane and Julius than about his relationship with a corrupt judge.  

Diane and Julius are masked in court. Visitor and the judge are not. They use masking in a clever way in this scene: Diane uses being masked to her advantage because it means no one can possibly read her lips, so she can use the info Adrian fed her against Charlotte without any fear of spies. Charlotte, who is unmasked, guards her lips with a folder, as the Visitor watches interestedly.  

Diane convinces Charlotte to recuse herself. Charlotte says she’s making a mistake; Diane does not care.  

The new judge is, unfortunately, the idiot who doesn’t know anything about the law. Uh oh.

Charlotte decides she’s done sheltering in place with Adrian. He tries to talk through the conflict, but Charlotte says “You made your choice, Adrian. Julius Cain over me.”

“The choice was about right and wrong, Charlotte,” Adrian tries to explain. I mean, yeah, but if you’re dating a judge who has admitted she’s totally corrupt, didn’t right and wrong go out the window a while ago?

Adrian seems to think the other people involved in the events are bad and Charlotte is good. I am not convinced. I don’t think she’s the big bad, but I don’t think she’s good.  

Charlotte points out that he invaded her privacy. She is right about that. “You said the choice was between right and wrong. Turning over my emails was the choice,” she said. I get her POV. But also, she is corrupt.  

I do not like the way the part of the scene where Adrian physically restrains Charlotte to keep her from leaving is shot. I don’t think this is an abusive scene but I think it should’ve been shot from a little farther back so we could see it’s more like Adrian reaching out in desperation than trying to choke Charlotte. Because it very much looks like he is trying to choke Charlotte.  

He tells Charlotte he loves her. She says it’s too late and leaves. “Maybe you won’t be with me. But you keep down this path... you’ll be done, I’m telling you, you’ll be done.”

I think something that I’ve been missing in these interactions is that I didn’t quite realize until this scene that the Adrian/Charlotte dynamic is more interesting than Adrian liking a corrupt judge. I think he truly believes Charlotte is a good person who got caught up in some bad stuff, and that she can bounce back from it. I’ve always seen Charlotte as someone who is corrupt for herself and then ended up going along with the corruption of others, too, so I’ve dismissed her and the relationship. This is the first scene that has felt real to me, and the first scene where she’s felt like more than a caricature. Kind of sad it’s the last she’ll get with Adrian—now I’m actually starting to find her interesting. Notice how in these last few sentences I’ve used her name instead of “Corrupt GF”!  

Charlotte says she loved Adrian too, but that’s not enough. Awww.

He can’t really be surprised though, can he?  

Now it is August and we get to see Diane and Liz react to the announcement of Kamala Harris as Biden’s VP pick, and I would like to thank the writers for giving me the opportunity to see Diane and Liz react to this. It’s kind of fan-service, but it’s also a nice tie-in to the girl-power theme of the Diane/Liz alliance.

Diane and Liz realize that Adrian’s probably not a good candidate for 2024 if the DNC only wants one black candidate and Harris is the clear front-runner. Liz suggests keeping him on as partner instead, in a way that very much implies this would be her ideal solution. Diane, being Diane, says she was liking the idea of an all-female firm. Liz hesitantly says she was too, and Diane senses the hesitation.

“Let’s look again at which associates to fire. I’m worried we’re losing too many African Americans,” Diane switches the subject. How have they still not made this decision? If any employees know downsizing is coming, and they’ve had months to act on it, assuming there are jobs elsewhere, people would’ve been jumping ship by now.  

But that’s not the point of this scene. The point of this scene is that Liz corrects Diane: “Black. You can just say Black people.” Very nice moment underlining the tension. Diane means well, but she’s still acting like a white lady who doesn’t know how to act around black people... and she wants to (and, I guess, already does) run a black firm. Major yikes.  

Marissa and Lucca are talking again. Marissa does not want to be in law school—she just wants to be a lawyer. Lucca won’t accept Marissa’s refusal to memorize meaningless rules: “Marissa. I know that you know how to play the game, but you have to pass the bar to get into a position to play the game.” Why does this line make me love Lucca? This line isn’t even anything amazing. It’s just a line that cuts through the bullshit and makes a good point.  

Marissa keeps going, insulting all of her peers and teachers, and Lucca figures out how to cut through that, too: she tells Marissa that she’d hire her as a lawyer if she killed someone, but only if Marissa passes the bar. Marissa is instantly intrigued.  

“Why are you leaving here? I’ll miss you,” Marissa says.  

“Because they won’t pay me what I deserve,” Lucca says in a matter-of-fact tone. “Anyway, I thought they fired you.”  

“But they didn’t mean it. It’s like the smoothie place—they kept trying to fire me and I just kept showing up,” Marissa replies. That checks out. (Love the callback!)  

Lucca tries to get Marissa to come over to England. Marissa shuts that down as Lucca gets a news alert—and it’s not good news.  

Our next date is September 18th, 2020 and I will get my nitpicks out of the way up front! I don’t really know why it is daytime for Lucca when she reads the news, considering it was already the evening in the States when the RBG news broke. And, also, it was Rosh Hashanah, so Marissa probably would not have been sitting in her bedroom studying... she most likely would’ve been with family or friends. OK I’M DONE. FOR NOW.  

Diane is getting ready for her arguments in front of the Supreme Court. It’s almost time! She’s in casual clothes but has on a wonderful mask. She’s standing in front of Kurt’s guns to make a point (love that she’s using her video call background to her advantage) and there are several people in her bedroom getting the tech all set up. I have noted before that they only built one set for Diane’s apartment, and it’s just a massive bedroom. Diane choosing to be in front of the guns does a nice job of cutting off my question about why she’d be arguing in front of the Supreme Court from her bedroom rather than the home office she absolutely would have.  

Kurt walks in and tries to shake hands... he’s clearly not very COVID paranoid, and Diane seems to be, and... that’s something I might have wanted to see? How was Diane okay with Kurt taking risks that also affected her?

Diane confirms she intentionally chose to stand in front of the guns. That’s when Kurt gets the push notification. He pulls Diane into the bathroom to show her the news. He hands her his phone and Diane’s face falls. She starts tearing up. “2020 just won’t let go,” she says, speaking for us all.

Normally I hate things that are like, we’re going to contrive this so the news hits at the worst possible moment! This works for me, because the Supreme Court plot for Diane feels more like something that exists to be a through line for the episode. It would also be a little hard to work in RBG’s death as a main plot point—and it is definitely important enough to be a main plotpoint—if it didn’t also affect something in the world of the show.  

Also, another reason I like this contrivance is that it makes it all the more powerful when Diane says, “It’s over. He gets to nominate someone. Another Kavanaugh! We’ll have a conservative court for the next 20 years. My whole fucking life!” She’s not thinking about how this affects her case (and that case is basically a life-long dream for her). She is thinking about way bigger things, and knowing that her mind goes to the bigger things before the personal with news like this really underlines how big of a deal RBG’s death was.  

Diane tells Kurt, “I don’t deserve you. You don’t agree with me.” “I can still feel bad for you,” he responds. He holds her while she cries.

Jay’s hallucination thing is back. Now Karl Marx is here. So is Jesus. I’m so done with this. It’s nice to get a break from writing.

Malcolm X is also on the roundtable and now they’re talking over each other in that way that everyone on this show always does. (RK gave an interview about Evil where he said he likes having the children on that show talk over each other because he grew up in a household like that. I did not need to read that interview to understand that RK likes scenes where people talk over each other.)  

If anything happened in those hallucinations, I missed it, because I didn’t pause the episode. Because I do not care about the hallucinations. Because I hate them.

Now it’s November 2020... Diane’s watching election results and rocking back and forth. She tells Kurt he can go watch Fox News in the other room (so they do have more than one room!). He says he’s fine—he thinks Diane needs it more.  

“Yes, but Kurt, if you stay, I know this isn’t sensible, but... Trump seems to get more votes whenever you’re sitting on this couch,” Diane tells him. Ha, I relate to this kind of superstition so hard. “Are you serious?” Kurt says. “I am so deathly serious,” Diane responds. “Whenever you’re sitting here, Arizona goes for Trump. Humor me, please. Just go in the other room.”  

When Kurt tries to kiss her, she pulls away: “No, no, no. No kiss. If you kiss me, we’ll lose Georgia.” This scene feels so, so real and perfectly captures what it was like (at least for me, though I don’t have a Republican husband or anything) watching election results come in.  

“Uh, if you lose, we’ll be fine, right?” Kurt asks. “Kurt, let me just say this. I’m only saying that we won’t be fine so that the universe will grant me a win,” Diane responds. This scene is so fun and so good! It simultaneously captures a relatable mood, adds some levity, gives us a window into Diane’s life, and shows some of the tensions in her marriage?! I want this all the time!  

Kurt leaves the room. Diane pours more wine.

Later, with Diane still rocking back and forth with anxiety (just you wait for the several more days this will drag on!), Kurt brings in the champagne. “That was for when Hillary won. I can only drink it if Biden wins,” Diane protests. Did I also refuse to drink any celebratory alcohol until things were absolutely certain? No comment.  

“It’s odd you progressives resisted religion. You seem to have a hundred religions to take its place,” Kurt says, speaking on behalf of the writers’ room. (This joke doesn’t get written if the writers don’t believe this and probably even see it in themselves.)  

“Go away, Trump. I mean Kurt,” she shoos him away. Have I mentioned yet I love this scene?  

“Love me even if you lose?” he jokes (though I do wonder if this isn’t that joking? I think it is, but he keeps saying it!) as Diane gestures at him to get out.  

I could do without the joke about Diane’s heart on the TV for a couple reasons. One, it goes on too long. Two, I was very worried something would actually happen to Diane. You’d think that would make the scene feel more tense, but it does not, because it takes me out of the moment.

“Ok, God. You know I don’t believe in you. But I will believe in you if Joe Biden wins. I’m sorry. I know that that’s not what Jesus taught. There’s nothing in the New Testament that says, ‘Believe in me, and I’ll make sure your candidate wins,’ but I need Joe Biden to win. I’m sorry, God, but I just do. I need some faith.” This is a little much but... yeah. Also, is this the first time Diane’s flat out said she’s an atheist? I think it is, though I’ve assumed as much for quite a while.  

The next day in court, masks are no longer required if you’re a series regular and votes are still being counted. I remember those days. Marissa thought Diane was checking in on Jay... Diane was not. She was checking on vote counts.  

Apparently Jay’s finally being released from the hospital!

Bad news for Julius—the idiot judge finds him guilty of some nonsense charge and sentences him to seven years in prison.  

Diane says not to worry, and Julius asks “Why not?” Good point.

Then we have election results! We skip, specifically, to December 14th and the electoral college vote. I’m a little sad we skipped over the huge party that was November 7th, but I get why they’d rather keep things moving along. I think showing November 7th in an uncomplicated way would’ve just been too close to fanservice. But, man, what a day.  

Diane, in a red hoodie with leopard print that she somehow manages to still look classy in, is ready to pop champagne. Then she hears that on January 6th, a joint session of Congress will count the electoral votes and there might be a debate. “Nope. If I open it now, something bad will happen,” she reasons. “I’ve waited four years. I can wait another few weeks.”

It’s been almost a year and they’re still somehow negotiating with Lucca, but I understand why they’d space this out across the episode. Otherwise we’d have to say goodbye to Lucca in the first like, 15 mins of the episode and all those scenes would be in a row. I can forgive (and still nitpick) choices like this when the reasoning behind them seems sound.  

Adrian says they don’t want to lose Lucca. He, Liz, and Diane are all in the conference room, and they ask Lucca for a yes or no on their latest offer by the end of the call. Diane offers Lucca partner—she'll be the youngest partner in the firm’s history—and she’ll get a $500,000/year salary. Adrian tries to sell her on being part of American history by being part of the firm.

“We are a black firm, Lucca, and we need you,” Liz says with a lot of passion for someone who knows she might very well partner with Diane. Diane looks at Liz with a bit of suspicion at this, wondering if Liz is showing her cards.  

Lucca manages to make the wifi malfunction (or she gets very lucky) and uses the disconnection to call Bianca for a counteroffer, even though they said they needed a yes or no on the spot.  

“They used George Floyd because they want you for less. They have never appreciated you as much as I do. All those scars, all that time being taken for granted and undervalued has made you a fighter. It’s made you someone I now want,” Bianca tells Lucca. She gives Lucca a counter offer of $1.3 million and the title of CFO. Lucca takes it. Is there really another choice? (If she were concerned about loyalty to the firm and the partnership was what she wanted, she probably would've just taken it.)  

(Also, the partners can’t really act like Lucca is making history by being the youngest partner ever when they passed her over for partner two years earlier and offered it to Maia! To MAIA! Who had like three years of work experience! And yes I was fine with Alicia and Cary getting partnership offers with four years but, one, that was a scam, and two, Alicia and Cary actually worked. Oh, I see I still hate Maia with a passion. Back to THIS season...)

Lucca apologetically informs Marissa she’s leaving and the offer was just too good to turn down. I believe it. I also believe Lucca wants that job more. What has loyalty to RBL gotten her? She's someone so talented and good at her job that she just gets job offers from acquaintances all the time (starting with Alicia!). RBL appreciates her, but just enough to appease her while still undervaluing her. I don’t know that I would’ve believed a plot where Lucca actively job hunts, but I definitely believe this.

“Marissa, we don’t have to work together to be friends,” Lucca tells Marissa. I’m going to miss this so much. Why is this the best material Lucca’s gotten in ages?! I think one of the things that makes Lucca such a great character is that you can see why everyone instantly wants her on their team. She’s a fantastic friend (without giving too much of herself), she’s not a pushover, and she is incredibly sharp and able to get to the heart of any situation. I love her and I’m sad we won’t get to see more of her.  

(On that bit about friendship—I can’t write about Lucca’s departure without writing about the moment I realized just how great of a character Lucca was. It was in 7x13, when Alicia has her breakdown that’s seven seasons in the making... and Lucca supports her. But the writing, and Cush’s performance, never make it feel like Lucca exists to be a part of Alicia’s story. Lucca seems like her own fully formed person who happens to be supporting Alicia at this moment. I don’t think I can overstate how tough of a task it is to get me to care about the other person in a pivotal Alicia scene, especially when that other person was added to the cast in the final season and many suspected she’d just be a replacement for a different beloved character! Anyway, Lucca’s been great for years, and I’ll miss her.)  

Just when I thought I couldn’t hate the hallucinations more, we get a hint that they are going to continue: Jay sees one right after he learns that Marissa’s used her quarantine to start law school and he’s done nothing.  

Jay says he carries a gun now and it’s “performative.” I have no idea what that means and Marissa and Lucca don’t seem to, either.  

Another thing I like about Lucca’s final scene is that it isn’t rushed. We have time for all that, and also for Lucca to tell Marissa about the time she stole her breakfast sandwich, and for Marissa to react to it, and for Marissa to find Lucca’s Birkin bag, and for Lucca to tell Marissa to keep it, and for Marissa to react to that, and for Lucca to sappily say “think of me when you use it,” and for Marissa to nonsensically reply, “you think of me when I use it,” and there’s still a little bit more of the scene after that!  

Marissa’s silly line makes Lucca tear up. “God, I’m gonna miss you guys,” she says. “I’m gonna miss this. You make me smile. I didn’t smile much before you guys.” Awwwwwww. This is also so true to character! Her friendship with Alicia aside, Lucca’s definitely said before she’s not one to have friends (which is hilarious because she is, as I've said like 100 times, a fantastic friend and also just like, the coolest person??? Who wouldn’t want to be HER friend?!).  

She says she has to go because she’s getting too emotional and says goodbye. She’s also super sappy and when Marissa says, “you were the best,” she responds that they were the best TOGETHER! Awwwwwww.  

What a nice, fitting goodbye for Lucca. There’s no bad blood or fireworks—she just makes a change like a lot of people do. I’d like to think she’ll still be friends with Marissa and Jay after this. I don’t want too many Lucca references in future episodes, but I would really like it if we see Marissa and Jay update each other on the latest from Lucca, or if a scene begins with Marissa closing out an Instagram post from Lucca of her kid, or something. I wouldn’t want clues about what Lucca’s up to, but I’d love to see that she’s still a part of Marissa and Jay’s lives.

Now it is January 6th. Liz, Adrian, and Diane sit on the floor of the mostly empty office, watching TV coverage and drinking. It’s so relaxed it’s almost surreal, and it, like many other moments in this episode, feels like a slice of life. Everyone’s dressed casually and no one is worried about appearances or looking like the boss.  

“God, have you ever seen anything like it. It’s so fucked,” Diane says. Adrian’s more optimistic—the courts rejected most of the challenges to election results! “System worked,” he says. “Yay.” Liz says in response. She’s not as optimistic as he is.  

“Liz. Liz. Sometimes when things work out, there is no parade. There’s no congratulations, but I’ll tell you this: We live to fight another day,” he explains to her even though she makes a good point that a system just barely hanging on doesn’t bode well for the future. (She doesn’t say all this, but that’s a very loaded, “Yay.”)  

“Yeah? Then why are you leaving the law?” Liz asks. Diane seconds to the question.

Adrian announces he’s still retiring—and he’s moving to Atlanta. He wants to go to the south to help “create and consolidate political power.” He’s excited to start over and inspired by Georgia going blue. This is a very nice exit for Adrian. I fully believe that he’s interested in political organizing, that he’d be good at it, and that he’s ready for a change. I don’t think he’s always the most progressive person (of the three in this scene, Liz is absolutely the most progressive one, though Diane probably thinks she is!), but I absolutely think he thinks of himself as an activist and I believe that if he’s going to step away from the law, he’d do so to make a move like this.  

Adrian—and Lucca, but especially Adrian—probably both got better exits thanks to the events of 2020. If Adrian had just left to be groomed by the DNC, that would’ve been a predictable and boring ending for him. His candidacy would, obviously, go nowhere, and the whole thing felt weird from the minute it was introduced. But this? Adrian being energized—like so many others were—by the ways the world changed in 2020 and using his already announced departure from the firm and recent breakup as a chance to start over and make change? This is great!  

Adrian asks Liz and Diane what’s next for them. Liz says that she thinks the Biden admin will be better for black businesses. Adrian asks if they’re replacing him, and Diane says, “I think the big question is, are you replacing me?” She’s smart. I like how this scene goes from friendly to tense very fast, with everyone kind of testing the waters. Adrian tries to force the conversation, Liz opens with something vague yet pointed, and Diane speaks what’s previously been unspoken.

Liz says it’s not her intention to push Diane out. “I can’t change the color of my skin,” Diane replies. “I know,” Liz laughs. Audra’s delivery is fantastic on that line.  

“Hey, I’m gonna fight for my partnership,” Diane says. “I know,” Liz says. The tone of this scene is so different from previous partnership drama on these shows and I’m excited about it. This is just a bunch of adults talking about business decisions with each other and treating each other as equals?? It's not backstabbing?? Or drama?? No one is hiding things?? It’s refreshing and I hope this plot stays like this. We’ve done so much partnership drama that I think drama that stems from a real, pressing question that has no easy answers and isn’t anyone’s fault is going to be much more fruitful for the show.  

Adrian heads out—ah, I see now this scene is set in his empty office and this is why they are on the floor—and gets a nice last moment with Diane. And then they give him a last moment with Liz, which I knew they would but was still glad to see.  

Liz asks if he knows what he’s doing—he says he’s not sure.

Adrian asks if Liz knows where she stands regarding Diane. “It’s going to be interesting,” Liz says. I don’t think she’s decided what she’s going to do yet.

It wouldn’t be an Adrian and Liz scene if Adrian didn’t have some unsolicited advice. “Diane’s a terrific lawyer, but this firm belongs to you.  Your dad built it. He did, Liz. Despite all his faults. You got to run this place the way you want. This is a black firm. And after today, the world needs black firms. You got me?” He tells Liz. He makes it seem like Liz gets the choice and then tells her what to do. She says, “I got it,” signaling she understood him but not that she necessarily agrees.  

I cannot wait to see what Liz does next!!!!!!! About this but just in general!!!!! Without Adrian there giving her constant advice I feel like she can grow so much and the show will have to give her more to do!!! I think Adrian, for all his many wonderful qualities and all he brought to the show, can suck all the air out of a room with his charisma, and Liz usually ends up suffering as a result. She’s such a capable lawyer in her own right, but Adrian has a way of making it always seem like he’s right—even in arguments she wins. I’m excited to see Liz lead (or stumble at leadership; she is fairly new to management) without Adrian’s direct influence.  

Liz walks Adrian out and it’s cute. They run into Marissa and Jay. “Everybody fun is leaving,” Marissa notes. Liz is minorly offended, but playfully. Heh.

Adrian asks Jay how he’s doing; Jay says he’s a long-hauler but he’s doing okay. I like that they included that moment in Adrian’s goodbye sequence. It’s a very little thing, but it underlines that Adrian cares about Jay.  

Then Liz interrupts to note that Trump pardoned a lot of convicted and corrupt Republican officials....... including Julius.  

Everyone celebrates, but especially Diane and Marissa. Diane lets out her wonderful laugh and then we, finally, get to the credits. Because now that the previouslies are over, it’s time for the real show.

The credits are absolutely delightful, btw. I was a little worried some of the kittens would blow up, though! Once I relaxed and realized what they were up to—literal puppies and kittens because Biden won—I couldn’t get enough of these credits. They work so well because they accurately capture the way I (and all of these characters, except maybe Julius and Kurt) feel about the election results, but it’s so exaggerated that you know the kittens and puppies aren’t a realistic representation of our new reality. They’re just too good to be true, but you may as well enjoy them for a minute. I’m sure we’ll be back to exploding vases next week.

What a great episode! My timeline nitpicks and whatever they’re trying to do with Jay aside, I was blown away by how well the writers managed to move on from season 4, tie up loose ends, and write out two main characters. And they did it all while making me revisit the events of 2020, a year I don’t think many of us want to spend much time thinking about! This episode was enjoyable, fun, emotional, and clever. I don’t know what to expect from the rest of the season, but I’m definitely excited about the show in a way I haven’t really been in quite some time.  

This season’s naming convention seems to be titles that end with ... and only have the first word capitalized. I want to see more. 

Season FIVE? There have already been as many TGF seasons as there were TGW seasons prior to Hitting the Fan?! Time flies. 

Please writers: No topical episodes this year-- no pee tape, no Melania divorce, no Epstein. None of that business. 

Sorry if I repeated myself here. I never proofread these things, and I wrote half of this on Saturday and half of it today (Wednesday) and the days in between were an absolute blur so I cannot remember if I said the same things about this episode twice. 

[storysofmyown]

Obey me! The passing of time

Plot: One by one, the brothers start to notice how Mc changes as time goes by.

Warning: None that I can think of

Word Count:2480 words

*********************************

It started slow, very slow. You never noticed, of course you didn't. For you, this was something entirely normal but for the demons, it wasn't. After all, they could live for millenniums without suffering much but a cold but... for a human well... that's another story.

So no, you didn't notice as you grew older and started to look older, but the brothers certainly did.

The first one to notice was Asmodeus. The two of you were in one of those intense cuddling sessions; while he stroked your hair, he suddenly noticed a white hair. It made him froze in an instant.

Aging

It was such a slow process for them, for demons, angels and alike. But for humans, humans didn't even have a fraction of a demons life span. They all knew it. Humans were so fragile that even sleeping in a wrong position could hurt them. Yet, here you were. A human, surrounded by demons and still being able to hold your self with such confidence, sometimes even he forgot you were not one of them. Nevertheless, here you were mortal. Because you were human after all.

Asmodeus stared at your sleeping face, so peaceful... It made his heart ache, how has he gotten so close to you? To appreciate you as much as he does? To cherish you, to adore you...to love you? That night, he vowed to make the best of the time you two spend together. Occasionally, you noticed his sad face while painting your nails... but you never mentioned it.

The next one to notice was Belphegor; you usually napped together after classes every day, to get your energy up. However, he started to notice unusual sleeping patterns, the way you slept less at night and more during the day. At first, he thought it was probably Leviathan keeping you awake while gaming at night or watching some anime, but when Levi made a comment about you not connecting in a few days it sunk in.

He had researched human aging once, not because he cared or any deeper reason. He was just curious. He read that getting older, for some people, implied changes in their sleep routine. After that, he started noticing how tired you were often, the black circles underneath your eyes.

Ever since that day, he found himself thinking of Lilith, death, and mortality. Why? There wasn't any real reason, but just something in his heart that made him remember of how long ago his time at the Celestial Realm was every time he looked at you.

Ever since that, Belphie makes sure you go to bed at a reasonable hour, and even uses just a little of his demon powers to make sure you get enough sleep, and if sometimes he stayed awake just to look at you sleep... well that was for him to know and for you to never find out.

Next, was Lucifer. You both had fallen into a kind of routine; you would help him organize papers and such, nothing too important, just to help him around with minor stuff. Today was one of those days. He was looking at some papers and he gave you the ones that weren’t so important to either categorize or to dispose of. He lifted his gaze from the papers for just one second and noticed that something was off. The scene before him… it wasn't quite right. Maybe it was the fact that you had been looking at the same paper for 4 minutes trying to figure out where it belongs, or how your figure seemed... smaller for some reason.

As he stared at you, he suddenly remembered something. The Exchange Program you had participated in ended a while ago, but you had chosen to stay with them. He tied the knots by figuring that, yes, some time had passed since then and it was normal you didn't look the same. So, he kept reading a paper but then realization hit him…. the exchange program ended more than 15 years ago.

It cut him like a knife. It felt like yesterday you had just gotten into the Devildom and now... it had been more than 15 years. For him, it felt like nothing, but for you, a mere human, it must feel like a lifetime ago. Lucifer put the paper down, and suggested you two went out for dinner that night.

You found it odd, but not unwelcomed, and if this started to become a habit between the two... well you sure were not going to question it.

Then, it was Satan the one who noticed. You were reading with him, when he saw you struggling to read some words. You kept shuffling the book closer and then further from you, making weird faces and sighing in frustration. He put it down as you not being particularly interested in that book. So he suggested that the two of you took a break and watched the new episode of a detective show they were airing.

However, it kept happening every time you read together. So, one day Satan surprised you with a trip to the human world… but for medical reasons, he took you to an oculist. While waiting for you, he was reading a book, and he saw an old person walk by him. He then looked at the book and the first word his eyes saw hurt him.

Death

He read around thousands of books explaining humans. From the way their minds worked on a psychological and biological way, to the way a human’s body rotted after dead. Quite fascinating, but the thought of that happening to you... made him land from his fantasyland. Once you came out you, to no one's surprise, announced that you needed reading glasses, he only smiled and told you to pick whatever style you preferred. As you looked around and asked for his opinion on the glasses, Satan noticed another thing.

Even if you were getting older, your spirit was still the same. And that made him smile genuinely. Afterwards, he seemed to be more and more interested in your health and stuff like that, you really didn't question it, your memory was already bad, so it was not bad to have someone remind you to take your vitamins.

Beelzelbub has been sneaking into the kitchen every night of his long life. But specifically, tonight he sneaked into the kitchen and found you, bent over the counter with just a glass of water. He smiled and asked if you were also hungry, but you shook your head, explaining that the dinner you had eaten earlier made your stomach ache and you just wanted some water.

Beelzelbub stared in confusion, after all it was not often food made him feel ill. But lately, this has been something that happened to you a lot. He figured his midnight snack could wait and gave you a hug, hoping it will make you feel better. You smiled and hugged him back, resting against him.

You felt... tired and it wasn't because it was almost midnight or because you had a tummy ache... no, it was a different type of tiredness. After a while, you smiled at Beel and went back to your room. Beel staid in the kitchen, not eating but thinking. He was worried about you; Lucifer mentioned the other day a little off of hand that you seemed weaker.

Beel didn't pay much attention to it, until now. His mind went from Lilith to you, how that affected him, and suddenly, the answer was clear. Beel slumped in himself and tried hard not to wake anyone up on the way to his room. Ever since that day, he asked you to work out with him, even for just a little bit, and the intense cuddling sessions were now even more intense.

The truth was he was scared of losing you too. Only Belphie knew that, and he planned to keep it like that. And if the nightmares ever shifted from Lilith to you well... at least he had you to hold his hand... for now.

It was 3 am... and if Belphegor knew you were awake at this unholy hour he might kill Leviathan and never let you sleep alone in your room again. But here you were, Levi had told you he would be binging one of his favorite animes all night, and you just had to watch it with him. So there you were, 3 am and both, you and Levi, watching anime.

Levi was all excited about the story, the characters, and the plot but you... not so much. So, you ended up falling asleep. Once Levi noticed, he muttered something about how your normie blood had taken the better of you, before falling silent as he kept watching the anime. There, right in the middle of the screen, the protagonist best friend had been killed. Blood was everywhere and the episode ended. Levi's eyes fell on you.

You were Levi's only friend, and the thought of losing a friend made him break a bit. He’s been noticing how you have changed in the passing of time, but he never actually stopped to think of the implications of that. Humans die, very, very easily. He wasn't certain on how much longer you would be around to spend time with him, do cosplays, and talk about anime or manga. He was going to be as lonely as the Lord of the Shadows was before Henry became their friend.

Leave his room? He never did such thing. At least not for a few days after that realization hit him... but then he realized that he was wasting SO MUCH TIME. So, after that, wherever you were, Levi was. He started to talk more about your own interests and stuff. It was nice, he learned new stuff about you, and while the thought of losing you always lingered in the back of his head, he wanted to be close to you no matter what.

Now Levi spent less than 4 hours in his room during the day, it was a miracle really... that was something absolutely no one has ever done before. And honestly, you were not going to question it.

Finally, Mammon, THE Great Mammon noticed. You two were walking in town after one of his photoshoots. He was going on and on about how amazing he was while you trailed behind him... really behind him. Once he noticed, he slowed his pace to match yours. You started talking about something else entirely when suddenly your D.D.D rang. While you answered he checked the hour, and upon looking at his background, he felt a part of himself die.

As his background, he had set a picture of you and him. Not taken too long ago, just a few years... or so he thought. You looked so different. Your hair was now entirely white, matching his; he noticed the wrinkles around your face and the glasses that you now had to use all the time. Mammon fell silent. You informed him that Lucifer had called and wanted you two home now. He just nodded and didn’t say a word for the rest of the walk. You found it weird because... well, because it's Mammon, but you didn't mention it.

That night, Mammon didn't go to your room. He stayed in his, thinking about everything. Thinking how he didn’t notice that you were growing old. He was always with you, ALWAYS. It was impossible for HIM to not notice. Yet here he was, wondering how time slipped between his fingers, and now who knows how much time you would spend together. Mammon cried... all night, no one knew because he made sure it was a silent cry... but the idea of losing someone he cared about so much. IT hurt when Lucifer confiscated Goldie, and he knew losing you would feel the same... who was he kidding? It was going to be worse, so much worse. And so, he cried, but only for that night, the next day he was his usual self just... now he was aware. Suddenly he was being super kind to you and buying you stuff.

It weirded you out but it was fine, you let him have it... you knew what it was about. You started at him with a smile on your lips, ruffled his hair and made snarky comment about him already being broke and to stop spending in you.

If Mammon never left your side before just imagine now. And he was not the only one. You were constantly followed around by a group of demons that wanted to spend time with you. You knew why, but you never mention it... why would you?

Mammon and the others had never talked about it, they refused to do so but whenever you didn't look, they looked at each other, and with sad expression, they made sure to take in the moment, to save it in their hearts.

It was night. You and the seven brothers have been having a horror night but you were tired already. Your entire body ached. And halfway through the movie you fell asleep.

You woke up by a hand shaking you, once you opened your eyes you saw Lucifer. You smiled at him, sat up, and, to everyone surprise, hugged him. Blame it on your half-asleep state, but you dared to hug him, and even give him a kiss on the cheek. Then proceed to hug and kiss every other brother.

No one knew what had gotten into you, but once you kissed Belphegor and were about to say good night, Beel and Asmo pulled you into another hug, and before you realized, you were in a cuddle mountain with ALL the brothers. Lucifer may have taken a little convincing but at the end, he joined you all. After an intense two hours of cuddling, you went to your room. As you laid down in the bed with a smile plastered on your lips, you felt... at peace. With how your life had been up to this point, with how much you loved those seven idiots. Yeah, you really loved them.

During breakfast the next day, none of the brother ate. Not even Beelzeebub, they all waited patiently for you, they wanted to wait for you, even though... all of them knew you were not going to come down the stairs.

That's how it was, humans are born and humans die in less time than any other creature. It was the sad reality of their world, and as the brothers waited for a human that was never going to come down the stairs, all they could think about was you. It was sad, but it was true. And even if they were never going to see you, again... they really were grateful for everything.

*********************************

Hello sweeties, this is actually the first fan fic I've ever made. I could not get this idea out of my head so I just had to write it. Hope y'all enjoy it!

[tiger-moran]

What

I've been wanting to read multiple different things for years now? I've talked about this multiple times even just on this blog?

I would love to read Victorian mysteries with m/m pairings where the detectives are actually a couple. And things with queer villains who aren't just 'monsters' and are actually allowed a happy ending. And things with asexual characters who aren't just sex repulsed usually teenagers and for that matter queer stuff that isn't just 'young adult' (usually american young adult at that)/about teenagers/people in their 20s at most or 'coming of age' stuff in general. And stories about gay/bi oriented aroaces (you know, like I am) not just endless stories about allosexual/alloromantic people. And m/m vampire fiction that isn't just badly written porn. And m/m urban fantasy.

Not to mention that I would love to read fiction about the old railways and some of the older trains, I would love to read things where the trains actually feature as more than just some background minor detail that gets about one sentence of description in the entire story, but this doesn't seem to exist even in 'mainstream' fiction.

And horses - I would love to read more 'adult' books about horses but aside from a handful I've already read all I can find there is all just het romance (usually 'bonkbuster' shit) or focused on horse sports.

Do you seriously think I've been looking through countless lists of queer fic recommendations, or searching for stories about these topics that interest me, for years now expecting or even hoping to find anything about Moran?

And sorry but if you think what I want (never mind expect to find) is "the book where Sebastian Moran is not only gay, but also framed as being on the right side, and also a prototype of a modern socialist, with nothing else from the long list of things that irritate you" I don't think you've actually been paying attention to anything I've said or written for the past 12+ years. (I mean you've missed the fact that I love Moriarty and want to read about him too for one thing. And that I see Moran as bi not gay. And I don't get at all what you mean by "a prototype of a modern socialist" ?????)

Also why do you kind of make it sound like... someone wanting to read about their favourite characters WITHOUT their characterisation being completely wrecked is somehow an unreasonable thing to want or even expect, particular from something that's been in the public domain in its country of origin, the country I live in, for over two decades already? And especially when there are already thousands of published stories about Holmes and Watson largely where the authors have managed to not shit all over their characterisation, meanwhile multiple authors have gone out of their way to make Moriarty as hateful as possible or portray Moran as a rapist or to erase Moran entirely and replace him with boring OCs or deny he was ever close to Moriarty (even though it's literally in the canon that they were close). Sorry I guess for being upset that so many published authors love to do this shit with the characters who mean the world to me and are a/ not actually portrayed that way in the canon anyway and b/ are portrayed in the canon in such a way that there is endless room to explore and show their characters as something other than 'depraved monsters'/'evil villains' without this actually contradicting the canon?

I do wish people talking about queer published books would stop going on as if there is so much to appeal to everyone within queer fiction when I've never yet found anything in all these lists of queer books that appeal to me or, for those I have read, I have actually enjoyed reading

[astonishinglegends]

Ep 209: The Phantom Horse of Greensboro

And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.

– Revelation, Chapter 6, Verse 8, King James Version

Description:

Many of us have taken an adventurous expedition to check out some local, notorious spot to see if we could witness or sense some evidence of a past famous or infamous incident.  Most of the time, one only returns with a minor anecdote or pictures of an ordinary location bereft of anything noteworthy.  The more realistic purpose is not so much to find a ghoulish memento but to imagine what it must've been like to have been there when it happened.  But what if such an outing starts with strange coincidences and ends with the adventurers enduring a paranormal event seemingly unrelated to the original incident?  This is the sort of tale we'll hear from our good friend, graphic designer, and illustrator Tommy Beaver about the time some friends went to check out the scene of a horrific crime that happened in Summerfield, North Carolina, almost 13 miles northwest of Greensboro.  On June 3, 1985, the incident in question occurred when at the end of a murder spree and police pursuit, Fritz Klenner and his first cousin, lover, and accomplice, Susie Newsome Lynch, ended their standoff detonating a bomb in their Chevrolet Blazer.  Klenner and Lynch had blown themselves up along with Lynch's already deceased two sons who were in the vehicle rather than face arrest.  The site of this shocking finale was what the friends were hoping to explore, but their souvenir was an unsettling experience they'll never forget.  Strangely, a mysterious white horse suddenly appeared to encounter the group, except that this creature may not have been a horse at all.  Many people have claimed to see a spectral white horse, and the ancient Britons believed a sacred white horse was one's ride to the afterlife.  Yet these friends may forever wonder, as will we, what was the connection of this beast to the tragedy if there is one?  And if this wasn't a horse as we know it, what sort of monster haunts the location of one of North Carolina's most ghastly crimes?

Location:

The intersection of Strader Road & North Carolina State Road 150 in Summerfield, near where Fritz Klenner and Susie Newsom Lynch blew themselves up in their Chevy Blazer after a crime spree and police pursuit on June 3, 1985, and where Tommy’s friends saw the mysterious “horse.”

Location Video:

Reference Links:

Illustrator and Graphic Designer Tommy Beaver’s website, tommybeaverdesign.com

“Summerfield slaughter 30 years ago ended in deaths of couple, two sons” from the Greensboro News & Record

Bitter Blood: A True Story of Southern Family Pride, Madness, and Multiple Murder, a novel by Jerry Bledsoe, 1988

The púca, pooka, phouka of Irish/Celtic folklore

The kelpie of Scottish folklore

“Horses in Celtic Mythology” from Transceltic.com

“Have ghost HORSES been captured on video? Teenagers believe they spotted ethereal equine scene at one of Britain's most haunted sites” from DailyMail.co.uk

“Phantom Horses” on real-british-ghosts.com

Related Books:

Please help out our good friend Stan Gordon, by purchasing his books on Amazon and Barnes & Noble – you’re gonna love ‘em!

At Barnes & Noble:

Silent Invasion: The Pennsylvania UFO-Bigfoot Casebook

Astonishing Encounters: Pennsylvania’s Unknown Creatures, Casebook 3

Really Mysterious Pennsylvania: UFOs, Bigfoot, and Other Weird Encounters, Casebook 1

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Credits:

Episode 209: The Phantom Horse of Greensboro. Produced by Scott Philbrook & Forrest Burgess; Audio Editing by Sarah Vorhees Wendel. Sound Design by Ryan McCullough; Tess Pfeifle, Producer, and Lead Researcher; Research Support from the astonishing League of Astonishing Researchers, a.k.a. The Astonishing Research Corps, or "A.R.C." for short. Copyright 2021 Astonishing Legends Productions, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

[rosecorcoranwrites]

Censorship and Banning Books

As I mentioned in my last Rant Rave Review, as of last Monday, six books by Dr. Seuss are now officially out-of-print, and they are out of print due to supposedly racist, offensive, and/or stereotypical images. The company that owns the rights to these books is no longer publishing them and some websites are no longer selling them. People who do own the books, or who swooped into stores and bought them the day of the announcement, are now selling them for hundreds or thousands of dollars. So, what are we to make of all this?

Is Dr. Seuss Racist?

There are actually three questions here: is the man racist, are his books racist, and are those images racist? The answer to the first is, he kinda was, and then he got over it. During the war, he was openly against the Japanese, and in favor of the internment camps, then went to Japan during the occupation and realized, hey, maybe these are just people. Apparently, he wrote Horton Hears a Who in response to the US occupation and dedicated it to a Japanese friend. People can change, if you let them.

Okay, well, what about his books? This is an obvious "no". Race basically doesn't come up in Dr. Seuss stories, except "The Sneetches", which is actively against racism. Which, in some people's fevered imaginations, makes it racist. Yes, in some Olympic-level mental gymnastics, saying that whatever race you are isn't important, ie being against "racial essentialism" means that you are a racist. Such people think that the story doesn't address "structures of power" and "systemic oppression". This is true. It's instead a story about a sleazy businessman who goes in and preys on existing racial biases in order to make a buck, constantly telling people to think of their identities in terms of their outward appearance. You'd think the racial essentialists would appreciate the representation.

But I digress.

What about the images themselves? Are they racist? Not having seen all of them, I can't say for sure, but some are definitely cringy. Take the yellow skinned "Chinaman who eats with sticks" in And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street. Though one could argue that the entire book uses only five colors: yellow, red, blue, and touches of purple and green, this man is the only human whose skin is colored at all. Later editions of this book have actually changed the image and text:

Honestly, I think this is fine. The meter still scans, and the image isn't straight-up removed. I mean, we could maybe discuss whether it's okay to alter an author's work, but he was alive when at least one of these these changes was made, so I think he allowed it.

Next we have some from If I Ran the Zoo, like this one, of some Asian dudes who "all wear their eyes at a slant":

I think, in this case, the text is the problem, but not the picture. Though some describe this image as "exotified", I think it's more just exaggerated, as are most of Dr. Seuss's characters. He doesn't do things half way. Aside from that, the picture is kind of cute and silly; nothing in it is derogatory or mean to the helpers. The text on the other hand... oof. Yeah, I would say this is a true example of something "offensive". I could see changing that (as long as the meter still scans!).

And then there are the fellows holding the tufted mazurka:

That's pretty bad. So bad that as a child, I don't think I actually registered that those were supposed to be humans, but rather other Seussian creatures. It doesn't help, again, that in his color pallet, people that would ordinarily be brown are now black-black, not unlike the most racist images of yesteryear. But the fact that their lips are left uncolored, I think, is what gets me. It's a little too close to black-face for comfort. Again, I think it would be okay to alter the image: color in their lips, change the shading. I know some people quibble with their costume, but some peoples do wear little amounts of clothing, so I don't think thats the issue here.

I can't speak to the other books, because I haven't seen those pictures, but I would say, yeah, some of the images and phrasing are problematic. I don't think that means the books are racist. Seuss isn't saying the Asian helpers or the African mazurka wranglers are less than the white child running the zoo. He is exotifying them to some degree, but the degree to which that is being done can, I believe, be fixed with very minor alterations.

Should the Books Be Banned?

Again, I think there are a couple questions here: are these books being banned, and should they be banned?

In our increasingly-willing-to-cancel culture, people like to talk about the difference between government censorship vs. corporate censorship, which is a valid topic. But when it comes to huge corporations like Amazon banning books from their website for hate speech or Ebay halting the ability of vendors to sell certain titles on their platform, to say "it’s a private corporation, so it's not censorship" is disingenuous. Maybe it doesn't violate the First Amendment, but it is censorship. A single bookstore refusing to sell a book, a single library refusing to carry a book, is censorship.

A single company that owns the rights to a book refusing to sell it is 100% censorship. I'm personally offended by the idea of any book being out-of-print in the day and age of print-on-demand, but I'm especially sickened when companies pull this nonsense. This is similar to foreign companies who refuse to publish novels, games, and videos in English copyright striking fanlations; they are not losing money, so why do they care?

In the case of the Seuss estate, or whoever owns the rights, all that they are doing is denying poor people access to books. That's right, if you can shell out $786 for a children's book, you can read these delightful stories. What's that? You're a single mom who works two jobs? Well, sucks to be you.

What's really vile is that people are saying, "It's only six books. You still have the others." First off, this is admitting that those six books are now censored and unavailable. Secondly, this is a stupid argument. It's like saying, "Well, the Nazi's didn't burn every book in Germany. There were plenty of others." What if I wanted to read the ones that were burned?

And that brings us to the question of whether or not those books ought to be banned. Heck, should they even be altered? Some of you might have balked at my saying I was fine with the images being changed; isn't that censorship? I think that would take it's own blog post, but here I'll just say that I don't think the changes I discussed would really alter the content, message, or meaning of the work. That being said, I don't think you have to change the images either.

That is, I think it's okay to publish, purchase, own, and read problematic material. As many commentators have pointed out, no child is going to be made into a racist by reading these books or seeing these images. Any racist or even iffy overtones are going to go right over their heads unless parents point them out. If, in the one in a million chance, your child actually notices anything wrong with the images, like "why is his skin yellow?" or something, then you can have a conversation about how sometimes, back in the day, people drew some not-so-nice pictures of Asian people and thought their skin should be painted as yellow, but we don't do that anymore, but this book was written a long time ago, etc etc. If they ask about what a Chinaman is, say it's an old word for a Chinese person, but you should never say it, because it can hurt people's feelings. Talk to your children; it isn't hard.

Should Any Books Be Banned

If you've been paying attention to what's been happening in book land lately, you'll know that Dr. Seuss's books are not the first to be put on the chopping block. Last year, Abigail Shrier's book, Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters, was removed from Target due to requests of trans activists. It was returned after backlash. Now I think it might be banned again? Who can even keep up anymore. Similarly, When Harry Became Sally: Responding to the Transgender Moment, by Ryan T. Anderson, has now been removed from Amazon for being "hate speech".

In the microcosm of the library world, I've had some people take issue with certain controversial books. When processing our new books, my part-timer picked up Irreversible Damage and asked, "Did someone request this?" as if we shouldn't have ordered it if they didn't. Both that book, and White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism, by Robin DiAngelo, were face out in our new book area, since they were the newest books. The former was turned backwards or put spine out with the older books multiple time by patrons, the latter turned backwards once. During the election, I found books for and against Trump hidden behind other books.

My question for people who do this in the library, and for corporations who do essentially the same thing on a massive scale, is who exactly do you think you are helping? Do you think anyone's mind is going to be changed on Trump? Or transgenderism, or white fragility, just by reading a book?

If the answer is "no", then why bother banning or hiding them? If the answer is yes, then that means you think books have the power to change minds, but you want to deny that opportunity to people. Rather than debating ideas, or writing a better book, or showing people why they shouldn't think a certain way, people are increasingly trying to banish certain ideas entirely. How dare an author question X, Y, or Z idea? How dare people be allowed to have an opinion different from the one we say they should!

What's so frustrating about cancel culture and censorship is that people think they really are trying to do the right thing. What they don't realize is, the people they cancel also think they are doing the right thing.

Take Irreversible Damage: obviously, those that want it banned think that trans kids will be hurt by the ideas expressed in the book, that they will be denied hormones and surgeries and so forth. I'm sure Abigail Shrier believes that trans kids would be hurt by no one examining the idea of wether or not they should be given hormones and surgeries as minors. Both sides care about kids. Both sides are trying to figure out how to help people. If you think that Shrier is wrong and her book is dangerous, then write a more compelling argument explaining why she's wrong.

An example of the right way to go about this is with White Fragility, a book that some people see as problematic, if not racist against white people or black people or both. People have written books specifically refuting the ideas in the book. Others have compiled titles that handle race more tactfully and that can be read instead. And that's the thing; you can choose what to read. You can choose never to read a book deemed problematic, but you have no right to take that choice away from other people.

Where Do Libraries Fall Into All This?

That "right to read" is one of the pillars or librarianship. The reason libraries exist is so that all people, regardless of money, have equal access to books, movies, and other aspects of our shared culture. We librarians understand that books are important not just for education, but also entertainment and escape. Stories are how we as humans process ideas, and everyone has a right to expose themselves to ideas--even controversial or dangerous or flat out wrong ones. They have the right to examine different sides of an issue and form their own conclusions. To try and control what a person reads is to try and control what they think, and no government or corporation has that right.

Thus, libraries don't ban books, wether those books are literary classics, modern treatises on current events and ideologies, or silly picture books by Dr. Seuss.

So it was with some concern that I got an email saying that our county library district would be taking the six Seuss books in question out of circulation. The rationale was that, given that a single book was selling for hundreds or thousands of dollars, some sticky-fingered patrons might steal then from the shelves or "lose" them after checking them out.

Though this logic was sound, I still had misgivings, especially because of incidences of library censorship in the past. Yes, even libraries have not been immune to the scourge. During the Cold War, some libraries would keep books about communism behind the reference desk so that people would have to ask to read them in the library. Not only did this potentially help identify commies, it also discouraged people from reading the books.

Thus, when our new policy is to keep the Seuss books "at the desk" and only let them be read in the library, is that not censorship? Is this accidental censorship, or perhaps intended by the very cancel culturists who want all problematic books to be sent down the memory hole?

No, I don't think it is, because--despite what the very mob who’s in favor of all of this would have you believe--intention matters. Reasons matter. We are not trying to make the books harder to read; we're trying to keep the books from becoming impossible to read. By protecting the books from theft, we're ensuring that the poor as well as the rich can enjoy Dr. Seuss's stories. This, in my mind, is similar to chained up bibles: it looks bad, until you remember that books were rare and expensive, and illuminated manuscripts even more so. If someone steals a book, no one gets to read it, but if a book is under lock and key, some people still can.

Of course, everyone could, if companies would simply stop censoring books, if stores would stop banning them, and if well-intentioned but short-sighted activists would stop digitally burning them. But maybe that's too much to hope for at present. For now, we librarians will have the books safe and sound for when you want to read them. You have only to ask.

[sirpoley]

On the Four Table Legs of Traveller, Leg 1: Mortgages

Mongoose Traveller's starship mortgage-payment-system is the most brilliant game mechanic I've ever encountered, as a DM. It's also the first rule I'd ignore if I wasn't consciously trying to play the game exactly how it's described in the book.

A Bit of Background

I've been involved in two Traveller campaigns in the past as a player (both with the same DM), and am currently DMing a third. All of them are using Mongoose's first edition. I've never played any other edition of traveller, and know almost nothing about the history of the game. I don't know which mechanics are unique to this edition of Traveller and which have been around for decades.

In the campaigns in which I was a player, I think the DM was continually frustrated with the rules of the game. He wanted to run a tight, story-focused campaign and picked up Traveller assuming it would be, essentially, D&D in space. For his second campaign, he chopped out huge chunks of the ruleset and replaced it with homebrew ones, removing space travel and Traveller's quirky character creation entirely. This worked for the game he wanted to run (he's an extraordinarily talented DM), but I think we all came away feeling pretty lukewarm about the actual rules.

Bored out of my mind in lockdown, desperate for anything to shake up the daily routine, I picked up the copy of Traveller that had been sitting on my bookshelf, untouched, and skimmed through it. In a mood of "I'll humour this weird rulebook," I followed the random subsector creation chapter to the letter, creating a surprisingly-well fleshed out chunk of space to play around in.

It was then that I realized I'd never actually played Traveller. So I dragged my partner along in an experiment: let's play Traveller, exactly how it is described in the book, no matter how flat-out insane the rules seem to be. I will only consider houseruling or changing a rule once we've both figured out what it's for. I learned a ton in this experiment, so, during my kid's naps (oh, right, I have a daughter now, that's where I disappeared to, Internet), I'll write about what I've learned.

(The Carlia Subsector. Not pictured: along with this map is a LONG word document describing the atmosphere, gravity, population, tech level, cultural quirks, government, etc. of the main world in each of these systems, plus a huge table of the price of dozens of trade goods on each planet. These, it turns out, are crucial game aids. I'll get into them later.)

Traveller, I've learned, is a table held up by four legs: Finances, Character Creation, Patrons, and Random Encounters. If you remove any of these legs, the rest of the game stops working. Following them, as described, gives you a rip-roaring swashbuckling adventure of fighting pirates, escaping bounty hunters, smuggling, jailbreaks, and all that good stuff you want in a campaign—but it happens spontaneously. I'll get into it more in detail, but for now, we're going to talk about finances in Traveller.

Yes, the Game Is About Mortgage Payments

The central driving mechanic of Traveller is making mortgage payments for your starship. The assumption is that the player characters are part-owners of an FTL-capable starship that's more expensive than any one person, or any ten people, could ever afford outright. The game (thankfully) provides a quick way to calculate your starship's mortgage payments (something like the value of the ship/240 per month), and for all of the example ships in the book, gives them to you pre-calculated. In the case of my solo campaign, my partner owed the bank a whopping 500,000 credits a month for her Corsair. For scale, that's the exact same price as the single most powerful gun in the game (the "Fusion Gun, Man Portable"), owed monthly. In D&D terms, she had to raise the equivalent of a +5 Longsword every. Single. Month.

(In addition to mortgage payments are smaller fees: life support (i.e., food and water), crew salaries, fuel, and ship maintenance, but the mortgage is by far the largest single expense, so that's what I'll focus on).

I started my partner out with a fueled up and fully-crewed ship (we used pre-generated NPC stats from the middle of the book for her crew, plus an NPC who was generated during her character creation, which I'll get into later). Character creation started her with 10,000 credits, and I told her she had until the end of the month to multiply that by fifty times.

Debt Leads to Trade

The fastest way by far in Traveller to make money is to interact with the very well fleshed-out trade rules. Each spaceship has a certain amount of tons of cargo it can carry, and each world has a list of trade goods for sale at various prices. So the clear way to raise that 500 grand was to speculatively buy trade goods, pick up passengers and freight, deliver mail, and so on. These rules are generous; by stacking modifiers, it's possible to reliably quadruple your principal every time you reach a new planet (which happens every week).

I think my old DM severely nerfed the trade rules (he also didn't enforce mortgage payments, leaving them on the cutting room floor like D&D's Encumbrance rules) due to this seemingly-unbalanced generosity. Again: the best gun in the game is 500,000 credits—so how on earth can a system that lets you make hundreds, even millions, of credits by trading stand?

Well, it turns out, the bank simply taking 95% of your player's earnings every month severely dampens potentially-snowballing nonlinear growth, so my partner and I never saw the kind of wealth explosion that looks inevitable from the rules as written, despite her scraping together everything she could do maximize profits. In all the time we've been playing, despite having already made millions of credits, she actually hasn't been able to buy a gun better than her starting laser pistol, or, in fact, any armour at all. I'll get to why in a moment, because the most important thing about the trade system is that…

Trade Leads to Travel

Garden worlds sell cheap food. High-population worlds buy food for a high price. High-population worlds sell manufactured goods that are in high-demand on non-industrial worlds, and so on. In a quest to maximize profits, the party was locked into a continual tour of the subsector I generated earlier, constantly moving from place to place. Staying put for any length of time meant letting time trickle away (time that could be spent raking in cash for crippling mortgage payments), so that wasn't an option. What wound up happening was that the party went on a self-guided tour of the subsector, stopping in at colourful worlds I'd generated earlier. This happened entirely without me, as DM, having to dangle bait in front of the party the way that I always have to in D&D. Travel is good, because…

Travel Leads to Conflict

I've already spoken at length on the subject of random encounters here, but Traveller really builds the game around random tables in an elegant way. Every time the party jumps from one world to another, there's a chance they'll get waylaid by pirates (the rulebook has a fun, albeit hidden, 'pirate table' that describes different tricks and hijinks that pirates use to attack). 'Pirates' in Traveller are spaceship owners unable to pay their mortgages by legitimate means, so turn to piracy. The fact that the party is always carrying their life savings in trade commodities whenever they travel around makes them a prime target for piracy, and leads to combat with stakes beyond "fight till everyone's dead." The pirates aren't orcs, and don't want to kill the players for no reason. They want to take their cargo and get away as quickly as possible, suffering the least damage as possible, and the players want the opposite. Thus: pre-combat negotiations, tricks, hijinks (my partner, carrying a cargo of "domestic goods," chose to have her crew throw individual toasters out of the cargo bay each in different directions to ensure that the pirates had to engage in lengthy EVA-missions to catch them each, thus allowing her ship to escape without suffering damage).

Traveller's starship battle rules are fun (and integrate into boarding actions that results in player-scale combat), and are triggered primarily just by moving around. Conflict is fun by itself (that's why combat rules are most of the rules in most games), but in this context, have the added advantage, as…

Conflict Leads to Tradeoffs

It became clear to my partner after her first run-in with pirates that her ship and crew were under-gunned. While buying powerful weapons and armour is trivially cheap compared to the amount of money she was raking in through trade (most weapons cap out at a few thousand credits, and she was moving hundreds of thousands a week), actually getting her hands on some was another matter.

Good weapons in Traveller are advanced ones, which have a high-TL (tech level) rating. These weapons are only available on high-TL worlds (each world has a TL rating generated in subsector generation). Making a detour from trading to buy 'adventuring equipment' wound up being an extremely costly endeavour, taking the party weeks out of the way of the most profitable trade route. The closest world in which these weapons exist also outlaws all weapons (various laws are generated procedurally as well) which means engaging in black market smuggling (which is fleshed out in the rules) and risks run-ins with the law.

Compounding this problem was that her Corsair took minor damage in the combat with the pirates, and the nearest world with a shipyard capable of repairing the ship was different from, and out of the way of, the high tech world with fancy fusion guns. Also, getting the ship repaired meant that it would be in drydock for days or even weeks, which incurs an opportunity cost of almost a million credits that could have been made during trade…

Tradeoffs lead to Debt

In her case, she wound up getting her ship repaired, forgoing arming herself and her crew, and skirting dangerously close to bankruptcy kicking her heels as her ship was patched up. There isn't an easy answer to what she 'ought' to have done, which was fun as hell. Further, as a DM, I wasn't annoyed that she was 'messing up the plot' by staying put (or frustrated that she wasn't going to my elaborately-plotted narrative that would occur when she tried to buy black market weapons) because there was no plot. Everything that came about emerged procedurally.

The 'Loop'

The beating heart of a Traveller sandbox campaign is this loop:

Without DM intervention (or Patrons, which are sort of procedurally-generated adventure hooks), this loop can sustain a campaign pretty much indefinitely. What this means as a DM is that any DM-interventions (i.e., adding in pre-written adventure hooks or encounters or whatever) can be attached to any of these steps to allow it to come about during play. It also means that if you don't have any pre-scripted content (to choose an example completely at random, let's just say your hypothetical one-year-old threw your notes in a toilet) you can just sit back and let the loop above take care of providing entertainment.

To bring this back to mortgages, if your players don't have the threat of having their spaceship repossessed by the bank hanging over them like the Doom of Damocles, then the whole system breaks down, and the DM has to do all the heavy lifting of providing character motivation to go explore new planets.

Next, we'll talk about how Traveller's patron system ties into all of this.

[meloncubedradpops]

Repo! The Corona Opera

For every rotation that Earth has completed around the sun since the dawn of humanity, humans have created art to cope with the realities surrounding our everyday life. We weave stories in songs, movies, plays, books, paintings, and so forth, that help digest the world around us and provide an entertaining escape from the cruelties we endure. Some stories take place in abstract universes or in the future, and we rely on what we know in our present reality to build upon these fantasy societies. My favorite movie, Repo! the Genetic Opera, certainly makes this list. We are currently experiencing perhaps the most surreal year of our collective lives, and with each passing day I argue that we find ourselves closer to the world crafted in Repo. I have seen this movie, at least 20 times. If you haven't watched Repo! the Genetic Opera or you haven't seen it in a while, I recommend giving it a view. The movie is unique in that it falls under three distinct genres: musical, horror, and sci-fi. And while the jury is out on whether our future society is going to go full on gothic aesthetic, I can say that the Repo! movie experience offers a glimpse into a dystopian fascist post-plague world wrapped in unapologetically hilarity with a heaping side of camp. It doesn't offer any spiritual cleansing that our souls collectively need, but it does show us what a new normal could look like if we really go off the rails.

As things stand, right now, so much of our daily lives and culture are impacted by the coronavirus. All of our institutions have been impacted, from school, to work, to family, to the way we interact with strangers, and especially our economy. We have all felt the effects in one way or another, and honestly? Most the impacts are of our own undoing, for better or for worse. I am going to write three pieces analyzing Repo! the Genetic Opera. First I will create the foundations that bridge our contemporary life and the world of Repo! Second I will explain how the Repo! universe operates under the definitions of fascism. And third I will weave together parts one and two into our contemporary world (particularly in the context of the United States) to highlight the dark path we heading towards. My viewpoints are of mine, and my own alone. Let's dive into part one.

Part I Repo! the Genetic Opera takes place in the year 2056. Humanity was on the brink of collapse as a result of a medical crisis that caused massive organ failure.

I never gave the premise much thought, at least not until recently. We aren't given much detail beyond the fact that entrepreneur Rottissimo "Rotti" Largo solved this crisis through his company GeneCo. GeneCo provides organ transplants that can be repaid through a payment plan. Witnessing the coronavirus unfold in real time and seeing its wrath, particularly on severe cases, honestly makes me wonder if the writers had some sort of "super plague" in mind when creating this universe. For the purpose of this analysis, I will assume that humanity suffered at least one infectious disease crisis. And just to reiterate covid-19 particularly, we really *don't* know what it's going to do to us long-term. Let the parallels begin. 

The world in Repo! the Genetic Opera, operates as normally as the citizens possibly can, which appears to be quite limited. I have noted how dated some the technologies look.

For a world 30 years in the future, it lacks cell phones and easy access to internet. When we enter Shilo's world (aka her bedroom!) she watched Blind Mag sing on a busted up tiny ass TV and the program itself looks like an ad on Home Shopping Network.

The Graverobber is shown reading headlines on a newspaper. The news reporters shown in the ribbon cutting ceremony during the 1st Italian Post-Plague Renaissance have old school cameras with flashbulbs.

The most contemporary technology appears to be a Wish.com version of an Apple watch, and even that looks like a leftover prop from Spy Kids.

Obviously the people who made this movie intentionally inserted these anachronisms, but why? This is a science fiction movie after all. I speculate that they reverted back because the impact from humanity's crisis resulted in an overall professional "brain drain" from the sheer volume of professionals that dropped dead. In fact every scene depicting medical procedures looks dimly lit and lacking in sanitation. We will see this as we struggle to contain the coronavirus, at least in America. Healthcare workers have already died from this thing, and I am sure many prospective college students will have second thoughts about a career in healthcare. I mean hell, look at no other than GeneCo itself. That company employs workers called "Genterns" who are most definitely not in full PPE. I don't doubt their medical expertise, but they appear to be disposable (please see: that time Luigi killed one for NO REASON in "Mark it Up").

On that note, it really was quite incredible how China built the pop-up hospital in Wuhan in under 4 days, but it was also not the most safe or structurally sound building by far (it collapsed, people were hurt!). Maybe at this point, the people in Repo! don't have much of a choice. I am sure there were likely legit hospitals, but the fact that the Renaissance had gross surgery tents is a bit unsettling.

This is a world that is completely built upon the social more of valuing your health above all else. There had to be a turning point in the GeneCo business model where they really played on up-selling organs for the benefit of "genetic perfection". "I needed a kidney transplant desperately. GeneCo showed this single mom sympathy. This makeover came for a small added fee. Now I look smashing on live TV!" Imagine signing the documents for your power of attorney while actively going into renal failure, when your doctor chimes in with an up-sell for breast implants. When all is said an done, your body is now not only functioning again, but you're hot! Even in a post-plague dystopia we are still holding value to having a nice rack. What's not to love about GeneCo? Obviously we know right away that GeneCo has a dirty side. Rotti Largo personally lobbied to make organ repossessions legal, and he does not hesitate to recollect his property. The concept itself is, of course, wild. In America, our healthcare system is incredibly broken and expensive.  You would wonder how it could get worse without us backpedaling many steps on the industrialization timeline. And in a lot of ways, I could see a company like GeneCo thrive here. We already hate the poor, and we have political think tanks that salivate over the idea of cutting social programs that keep people alive. Our president has wanted to repeal the Affordable Care Act while many people are unemployed during a pandemic. In Repo! we hear about those who don't pay, but obviously there are plenty of people who do. Those who can will happily pay, either for vanity reasons or to stay alive.

And while society cites Rotti as being a "hero" for humanity, we see more and more evidence that the crisis is both not under control and life is cheap.

His son murders multiple people, in front of others, with seemingly no repercussions. In the scene where Shilo meets the Graverobber for the first time, adjacent to the graveyard and tombs owned by wealthy families who could afford grave markers, lies a poorly constructed wall hiding thousands of corpses piled on top of one another. We even get a glimpse of a truckload pouring more onto the pile. I would not be surprised if there is a disinformation campaign there keeping the public in the dark (although you'd think the smell would be unbearable at this point).

There are multiple indications that propaganda works in society (still), and no one is getting the full picture of how much of a raw deal the people in Repo! have. We see poster after poster about GeneCo, in the literal absence of other corporations. 

And a lot of them bear resemblance to 20th century Russian propaganda. It would be a real shame if the goals outlined The Foundations of Geopolitics: The Geopolitical Future of Russia were actually realized. Imagine going to visit your mother's grave and hearing commercials for hardcore analgesics play through the cemetery. Also, there's a police presence too. Apparently the police are called Genecops and have authority to execute any assumed graverobbers on site.

Imagine the hellscape it would be to live in a world where your loved ones may have died from a terrible pandemic, and you face a non-zero chance of an over zealous cop murdering you thereafter, and because their qualified immunity bypasses the judicial system entirely...oh wait. Anyways let's circle back to the Graverobber character.

Graverobber's role in Repo! appears to be minor on the surface. Rotti's daughter, Amber Sweet, appears to almost despise her relationship with him. And that relationship involves him supplying Amber with what he describes as the "21st Century cure". This cure you ask? A super effective painkiller with the clinical use to accompany GeneCo surgeries. This drug is called Zydrate, and it has a street version that he acquires and sells, with clients including Amber Sweet.

Graverobber makes his living sucking the glowy blue brain corpse goo and injecting them into people on the streets. Yum!

Not everyone who needs an organ transplant can pay for it all upfront. Luckily for them, GeneCo provides payment plan options! The caveat to this is if you fail to make those payments, legally GeneCo can come and repossess your newly acquired organs. If you find yourself past due, you will soon see the last face before your doom, the Repo Man. He will harvest GeneCo's property, and it won't matter where you are or what you are doing. There is no anesthetic, and you will likely die! This was all made legal through Rotti's lobbying efforts.

Society, as it's set up today, allows for property repossessions. This can be as straightforward as a repossession of your vehicle to as heartbreaking as a foreclosure on your home. At the end of the day, the impacts of that are difficult and life changing. Currently millions of people in America are out of work, and the threat of losing everything is at stake for many. We could lose our homes, our vehicles, and our sense of purpose. And while many government bodies have created temporary moratoriums, they have not provided any substantial financial relief to keep the proverbial repo man at bay. What went wrong in this dystopia to normalize the concept of death due to nonpayment? Fascism! Ah yes, the dreaded f-word. In my next essay, I will outline the 14 characteristics of fascism and how it relates to the universe in Repo! After I will relate that to our modern world so that we can try and stop this from becoming our reality.

[pricemarshfield]

what do you truly desire?

A Deckerstar human/romcom AU. Chapter 5/10, read on AO3 here (or the full fic here). Will be rated E eventually, so minors DNI.

Five months later, Lucifer's life is fantastic.

It's not a surprise. His life has always been better than the average person's: plenty of money, some of the world's best alcohol, possibly the most active sex life of anyone in the LA area. Maze's brief trend of being gentle after Chloe had rejected him because of her has long-since ended, so she's back to her normal self: quick-witted and vicious and Lucifer's best friend.

She doesn't tell him anymore stories about her roommate, and he doesn't ask her about Chloe. It's basically the same way they did things before, just with the one tweak. Still, it's not as though he doesn't know when she tiptoes around things. Maze happily starts a story about building a model rocket with her other best friend (Lucifer holds a hand to his chest, mostly-mock-offended) but then clams up when Lucifer asks the friend's name or any other details, or Maze corrects him on some minor detail about LA's liquor laws that only someone who spent a lot of time with a cop would know. (Lucifer doesn't remember what that one was. Maze handles the books.)

Lucifer continues to talk up their customers almost every night, waxing poetic about their most expensive whiskeys, whispering in a handsome man's ear about how good Maze looks mixing cocktails, helping them through the potential sexuality crisis that tends to cause. It's certainly not a traditional lifestyle, but anyone he has a conversation with long enough to actually talk about it tend to say how lucky he is.

Which is right, obviously. He's lucky. What more could he want?

Of course, the life of a club owner doesn't start at opening. He needs a new suit, deep blue for an event someone's paying a truly sinful amount of money to host at Lux, and his tailor won't do house calls. Maze had tried, at one point, to wake him up earlier, if only so that he'd cook her breakfast since she burns everything short-of-but-sometimes-including toast. But he spends over a thousand on just the sheets on his bed, let alone how much he spent on the mattress, and he's damn well going to enjoy it.

(It's not--and this is crucial--it's not moping. He doesn't have anything to mope over, definitely not, his life is absolutely wonderful and he doesn't spend any time thinking of a blonde woman who doesn't swoon at everything he says like anyone he puts any effort in with, the first person he'd been interested in since Eve and the rebellion she represented.)

He's running late for the appointment, due to some truly abysmal traffic and a lack of parking anywhere near the shop, so he's rushing along through the crowd of people that seem to be omnipresent anytime he needs to get somewhere quickly in this city.

"Excuse me, pardon me, I'm actually in a hurry, so--okay, now you're purposefully obstructing everyone here, step to the side if you're going to text--" He turns his head to stare down the offending party, a stern-faced woman with a harsh haircut and horrifically short bangs--when he runs right into someone in the street and gets hot coffee all over his person.

It's not necessarily bad form to swear in public, but the string of words that come out of his mouth certainly cross the line into bad etiquette. It hurts like a motherfucker, and worst of all, the shirt he's wearing is white. Lucifer spares a moment to be thankful--not to a God or anything, just in general--that he's already got an appointment with a tailor.

"Shit!" says the woman he bumped into, and Lucifer turns his head to see Chloe. Because he'd only just managed to mostly put her out of his mind, and the universe is a vicious, punishing thing. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry--"

She's still looking with dismay between his shirt and what's left of her coffee, not at his face, and Lucifer coughs a little. "I didn't take you for a black coffee drinker."

Chloe looks up at him, eyes wide with surprise. "Lucifer? That's--insane, LA is a city of almost 4 million people, what are the chances?"

"Given my luck? Quite high, actually," Lucifer says, and Chloe's expression shutters almost quick enough for Lucifer to miss the flash of hurt across her face. "Because of the coffee! Not--I did like this shirt, but it is good to see you. And I'm near my tailor, anyway."

Chloe still looks a little offended, but she manages a small smile up at him. "You have your own tailor?"

"Well, suits like these don't come off the rack." He holds his arms out, realizes that he's now blocking the crowd and being a huge hypocrite, and lowers them. "Let's step to the side for a second."

"What? Oh, right," Chloe says, and gets out of the way. Someone shoots them a dirty look as they shuffle through to the side. The--chicken and waffles place...interesting--has a bright, tacky red-and-gold awning that gets them a bit of respite from the shade so they can talk.

Chloe digs through her pockets, pulling out receipts and crumpled-up straw wrappers. After glancing at his face, she says, "I'm just trying to find a napkin or something to get the coffee."

Lucifer looks at the reflection of the two of them in the window. His shirt has a giant brown spot in the middle of it that, while it should come out with dry cleaning, is certainly not going to be helped by old napkins. "I'll buy a new shirt while I'm at the tailor. Hopefully it won't need alterations."

Chloe snorts. "'Alterations.'" Her British accent is abysmal and sounds less like him and more like an offensive impression of a character from a cult classic BBC show. "This place looks like a college haunt, you could probably get a USC T-shirt inside until you get home tonight."

Lucifer shudders. "Ugh. Absolutely not."

"What, you're telling me you don't have any cheap clothes that you hold onto just 'cause they're comfortable?"

"A silk robe is comfortable," he grumbles. "Certainly more comfortable than a T-shirt from--" He looks at the door, squinting against the glare of the sun against the 'restaurant' door. "--Classic Southern Cafe of the West Coast."

"I mean, the name leaves something to be desired, but if a place with a name like that's still open then it can't be all bad."

"Or someone with more money than sense decided to throw their life savings at something they were completely unqualified for. Like that cafe in Boston."

Chloe blinks at him. "The cat cafe?"

"You're familiar!" Lucifer says, delighted. "Maze told me about it, she delights in disasters."

"...she told me, too."

Right.

"Okay, look," Chloe says, and Lucifer braces himself for the worst of it. "I'm really sorry about the way I kicked you out." Oh? "I mean...I just--okay, I'm not jealous."

"I hadn't thought you were?" Lucifer says, unsure if he's about to be insulted or what. He's not letting himself be hopeful about anything, though, suffocating the urge to be optimistic about it before it can say whatever it wants to. If this conversation goes well, he'll be pleasantly surprised, and if not, he won't have lost any of the progress he's made over the course of the past few months.

(The most he's hoping for is that he'll be able to talk to her. He enjoys that, more than he does talking with almost anyone else.)

"I just mean...ugh, okay, Maze and I were a thing, okay? Just briefly, barely a month! We didn't really work like that, but we made good friends, and then she was moving out of her old roommate's place and I needed to move out of my mom's old house and it just worked? And it was just--weird, you having slept with her and me also--fuck, sorry, I'm rambling."

She is, which seems pretty unlike her from Lucifer's previous two times that he'd met her, but it's annoyingly endearing anyway. "It's fine, Detective. Don't stop on my account."

Chloe reaches a hand up to rub the back of her neck. "Right. And I just...don't really casually see people, okay? I mean, Maze was an exception. Not in that way, I'm definitely bisexual, just...yeah. And as much as I liked you, I just don't think I have the room for a relationship right now."

Lucifer's heart definitely doesn't drop down into his stomach at that, not at all. "Of course."

"I would like to hang out, though? As friends?" Chloe says. "If you're alright with--"

"I am," Lucifer says, quickly enough that he accidentally interrupts her. She grins up at him, though, so it's good, it's fine. "I...do have to get to this appointment, I need a suit for work--"

"Yeah, of course, sorry to keep you, and sorry again about the coffee! You were right, too, I don't normally like my coffee black, but it's--not important, go get a new suit."

Lucifer nods and smiles, a little awkward, a little unsure, but generally...happier. It's not even as though he was in a bad mood before, but now he's smiling easier, chattier with his tailor, doesn't mind the stain on one of his nicer shirts that's had some time to set in now and might not wash out as easily as he'd like.

--

Maze has been staring at Lucifer ever since he walked into the bar, wearing a new shirt and a smile. She's been drying the same glass now for almost five minutes, despite how busy it is at the bar and how much Patrick's scrambling to get things done, and it's now just a matter of which one of them will break first: Maze's impatience or Lucifer's love of talking about himself.

Lucifer really does love talking about the things that go well in his life, though, and Maze hasn't even blinked for the last stretch of time. So eventually he heads over with an eyeroll, doesn't miss the victorious smirk on her face, and sits down at the one barstool that's, miraculously, available.

"Spill," Maze says, putting the glass down at last and starting to mix a drink, to Patrick's obvious relief.

"I ran into Chloe," Lucifer says, delighted, and looks to see if Maze will tense up, if she'll show any jealousy that her ex is spending time with him. Decidedly platonic time, but still. He doesn't want a repeat of what happened with Eve. That had been a difficult time for their friendship, and for Lucifer in general, if he's being honest.

She doesn't seem to, not smiling (normal) but nodding in agreement as she looks down at the drink she's pouring. "Cool. Did you go try and find her at the police station or something? Hold up a sign like that dumb movie?"

Lucifer scoffs. "No, of course not, that would have been completely inappropriate, and not in a fun way. Especially given she rejected me." Much as that stings, it's still a novel feeling.

"Good," Maze says, sliding the drink over to a customer who only barely manages to catch it before the glass would've fallen and shattered on the floor and gotten--whatever that drink is, some lurid pink thing, all over her clothes. "So...what? She came to see you at Lux before we opened?"

"No," Lucifer says. "We just ran into each other."

"Jesus, what are the odds," Maze says, grabbing some orange juice from beneath the counter. "You wanna come back here and help out?"

"Of course not," Lucifer says, then walks to the back of the bar to help out anyway. He's not actually good at mixing drinks at all, but he knows where everything is, mostly, grabbing Maze some rum and chopping limes since they're running low. "Are we especially busy today or something? I've never seen the bar this backed up."

"Well, you weren't telling me right away, I had to make a point," Maze says with a quick glare at him. "Apologize to Patrick."

Lucifer doesn't particularly feel like apologizing to Patrick for Maze's behavior, and Patrick seems a bit too busy with pitchers of sangria to do much of anything. There's a lull in their conversation as they get drinks out to the customers as fast as possible without missing any tabs or charges or anything else, but then it slows to something they can talk during.

"Well, I'm glad it worked out, I guess?" Maze says. "Did she, like, rip your shirt off or something? I didn't think Decker had it in her."

"No," Lucifer says. "While I'm not at all opposed, she actually just spilled some coffee--"

Maze laughs. "Holy shit, really? Wow, I didn't realize she was mad at you! I'm normally really good at picking up on anger!"

"It was an accident, Mazikeen, would I be in a good mood if it wasn't?" Lucifer says, annoyed, wiping down the counter with a rag just to get the worst of the condensation and sweat off.

She doesn't respond right away, and when he looks back, she's smiling at him, softer than she normally would. "Hey. I'm glad you're in a good mood about it."

"Okay?" Lucifer says, unused to Maze being nice when she doesn't want something from him. "Why--"

"Which is why I'm gonna tell you right now," Maze interrupts. "That you're my best friend. And that I care about you."

"I--okay? I--"

"And that if you hurt Chloe," Maze says, still smiling, still with that same casual tone. "I will fucking end you. Got that?"

"I haven't even done anything!" Lucifer protests. "Is she getting this same shovel talk? And besides, she's said she's not interested, it's just--friendly."

"Oh," Maze says, relaxing against the counter a little more. "Really? Wouldn't have guessed that. Also...yes."

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, she got the same shovel talk," Maze says with another eyeroll, all trace of her sweet, fake smile gone. "Obviously. You're my best friend."

Lucifer nods, shoulders dropping just a little. It's not that he was worried Maze was picking between him and Chloe, like it's some sort of fight, but it's--nice, to be reassured that she's on his side anyway.

"Also?" Maze says, glare getting worse.

"Also...I care about you too?"

"Thank you!" Maze says in her sweetest, fakest voice of all. "Also, I'm guessing you two didn't exchange numbers again?"

"Shit."

"It's fine, I got you, let me just make sure Chloe's cool with it once I'm home," Maze says. "You're definitely both being stupid as hell, but whatever, at least it'll be fun to watch."

--

At 1:43am, after they've finished closing up and cleaning and getting everything ready for tomorrow, Lucifer checks his phone for the first time in an hour and sees a text from a number he doesn't recognize.

Hey! It's Chloe. Maze gave me your number, she said you said it was okay

If it's not, I'm sorry and I won't text again

And if you're not Lucifer, I'm sorry and please let me know?

Hello, Detective

She doesn't respond, but it's late enough that she's probably asleep, and frankly, after having to actually work tonight, he's about ready to pass out himself. So he does, gets into the most comfortable sheets he's ever head and is unconscious almost as soon as his head hits the pillow. He misses one more text, from a number he hasn't texted in years.

hey! i'm back in town if you want to meet up! let's partyyyy

[grey-eyed-menace]

So!

I'm coming straight outta left field with this one, but hey, some of the best things in life come from spontaneity!

Er... Maybe.

Anyway, here's my Pokèmon AU!

Featuring the Female Protagonists I played as, their names, general differences from canon, and personal headcannons I came up with during my first playthrough of each game!

...and how they fit into the wider world! Maybe. Kinda.

I'm only doing the main series females in this post, with potential a potential sequal in the form of the side game females!

I do know that the main series male's will have their own post though! Mostly because I legitimately cannot control myself, and it's already halfway done!

So, without a further ado...

Arden Forrest!

Childhood friend of Red Audra, and the maternal cousin of the one and only Blue Oak.

Chose Charmander as her starter, named the little guy Flare, and is extremely defensive of the nickname. She is/was ten! Sorry if her creativity wasn't up to par!

Ended up having to travel with Red because her mother absolutely refused to let her leave Pallet otherwise.

Simply stick with him out of convenience after Viridian Forest, mostly because at that point there really wasn't anything to gain in separating from him.

In this continuity she's the older sister of the Sun and Moon protagonists. More on that in Jericho's section.

At the end of her journey, her team consisted of Flare the Charizard, Lenz the Jolteon, King the Slowking, Knott the Vileplume, Skye the Pidgeot, and Blue the Raichu.

Raichu is a stuck up little shit, and pampered, the nickname was obvious. To her at least. Oddly enough, Blue the Raichu hates Blue the human.

The only reason Giovanni remembers her is because she straight up decked him across the jaw when he threatened to kill one of her Pokèmon.

Somehow ended up acquiring Silver as a travel companion for three weeks, Red was bemused. He was also incredibly confused when that feral eight year old showed back up three years later in the news.

Ended up hanging up her battling career shortly after she lost the championship to Lance, and handed over Flare to Red to battle on a more permanent basis.

She still trained the rest of her team, and still does, she just realized that despite her talent in the profession it just... Wasn't her calling. She wasn't as quite as in love with it as she was at the start of her journey.

Bounces around the world for a bit during the three or so years between the Blue/Red and the HeartGold/SoulSilver storylines, and after Lance wins the championship back from her. Trying to find herself.

She participates in the Galar league around the same time as Leon, Raihan, Sonia, and Nessa, mostly as a curiosity, and maybe as a way to try and reconnect with her battling roots, but jumps ship after Opal because fucking hell is their League a killer for self-confidence.

Her jersey number, for the record, was 069. She deeply regrets keeping the uniform years later.

She also finishes the Unova circuit, but doesn't challenge the Elite Four or the Champion, and she tries to do something in the Ferrum Region for a bit before packing up and returning home.

Perpetually pissed off that no one can remember her fucking name.

And no, it isn't about the Championship thing, she was fine with that, really, it's just that the moment she introduces herself ahead of Blue or Red people tend to either treat her like a commodity, or like she doesn't exist.

Made it through the Elite Four and beat Blue before Red.

So yes, she is the official record holder for the shortest Championship. Which, if you're wondering, is exactly thirteen hours, seven minutes, and thirty-three seconds.

She and Blue played Go-Fish for two hours while Red finished up with Bruno.

The ensuing eleven hour battle with Red both traumatized and bored Blue in equal measures.

Blue had the title for a week. Red bolted to Unova shortly after winning and declined the position, turning it back over to her. She proceeded to hold it for another six months before a match with Lance turned it back over.

Actually ends up as one of Professor Oak's lab assistants once she ends back up in Pallet, and... Eventually finds her calling in research.

She throws herself into her education with everything she has. And... Never really loses that passion and drive.

Has to be physically dragged to Passio during the Master's tournament/festival. Dragged. And no, that's not an exaggeration, Blue physically throws her over his shoulder, books their shared flight, and well, he basically kidnaps her.

If it makes you feel any better, he pretty much did the same thing with Red, only it was a private flight that was prearranged.

It makes her feel better, anyway.

She spends the entire tournament/festival in borrowed clothes.

She takes solace in mock-poker matches with Red, Grimsely, Lina, and, oddly enough, Cynthia and Steven Stone.

She does eventually end up becoming a professor in her own right, with a focus on Abilities and how they affect a Pokèmon's mental and physical growth, and also ends up with an engineering degree as well.

In her late thirties I see her taking over Professor Hasting's job for the Ranger association. Mostly because, in my head-cannon at least, Regional Professor status isn't all that it's cracked up to be, and at that point in her life the only reason she would even take over for Oak in any capacity is out of sentimental value for the Pallet Labs.

That, and it's a cushy job, plus she gets to see small children scramble around for over jumped flying tops. So really, it's a win-win.

Teases Jericho relentlessly over her relationship with Gladion.

Not that her romantic life is much better. Someone idly points out that Red is romantically pursuing her when they're nineteen and she proceeds to have a minor breakdown.

Or, you know, she just remains forever oblivious, and Red remains extremely passive in his pining.

Completely blind-sided by Blue's wedding, and honestly doesn't know what to think of his wife, but plays the role of doting aunt pretty well once they have their first kid.

Shows up in the White 2 storyline in a rental tournament, wrecks Rei's shit, comes back a day later during a Team Switch Tournament, and proceeds to destroy the battlefield.

Then, once Rei is the Unovian Champion, she comes for an actual vacation, and actively, and willingly, participates in the Cross-Region Tournament, makes it to the finals, wrecks Rei's shit again, and then destroys the Stadium when she goes up against Red in the semi-finals... Yeah, I'm not sure what storyline to put to the whole rage vent thing, but it's there. It exists. And Red pays for it.

I'm thinking Blue just gets in over his head a week or so before the tournament, and she quietly simmers all the while.

I think if I were to make a fic about her journey/life, I'd call it 'The Trials And Tribulations Of A Run Of The Mill Pokèmon Trainer'. Because... Ya know, against Blue and Red, she's actually a pretty average trainer.

Compared to Red, who'll have participated in over thirty league circuits in his lifetime, (and plowed straight through the champion in a pretty good chunk of them), Arden has only actively participated in maybe five, mantled a single Championship, and completed two other circuits, with the last three or so having her jump ship due to pressure, having to put it aside for prior commitments, or a simple lack of interest, (the incredibly vague Greece based region I have an idea for is incredibly interesting history wise, in universe, it's Gym and tournament circuit on the other hand... Lacks pretty much anything to make it even remotely interesting).

Red will be a living legend once all is said and done at the end of his career. While Arden has a single legal achievement to her name, the famed recognition of being one of three people to take down the Pokèmon equivalent to the Mafia, and a pretty average badge count for a career trainer.

Also, Lina loses to Red on Mount Silver. She knows, she was drafted as the referee because when she came to drop of Red's food for the week. She's pretty much payed off to say otherwise though.

And she doesn't know why.

She's convinced it's a conspiracy.

Fades into relative obscurity around the time of the Sun & Moon storyline, but her damn if her tiny fan club isn't dedicated.

Doesn't show up in Alola for the battle tree because Blue couldn't find her for three solid months.

No one knows what the fuck she was doing.

...she may or may not have been the Gates To Infinity protagonist.

There's a tiny aside to a Snivy named Leaf in article concerning Overgrow and how it affects the Snivy population at large though.

And that's Arden Forrest, a bit clunky, but hey, they're randomly ordered facts, not a character sheet. Next up is the Crystal heroine!

Marie Smith!

Traveled through Johto about three or so years before Arden, Red, and Blue began running around Kanto.

Older than her sister, Lina, by seven years.

I actually don't have all that much on her because I got to the third Gym on Crystal before my brother destroyed the Device I was using to play the game on.

What I do know, from this information, though, is that she disappeared around said time.

No build up, no cries for help, nothing. Just up and gone. She just cut contact with her family, things happened, and she's absolutely infamous for nearly killing three thousand people. Somehow, she's officially recognized as someone who completed the Johto Circuit though.

She got recruited by Cypher.

Again. Shit happened.

Oak blames himself for an incident in the Kiro Region, (Egyptian Region), pertaining to her.

Lina's entire journey is an event and a half because of her.

If I were to make these little things into a fic series, she'd get... Like a seven chapter mini-fic told from seven different people's perspectives throughout her journey.

Those people, in order, would be... Her mother, Whitney, Naoko of the Kimono Girls, Giovanni, Clair, and Oak.

With an extra chapter detailing her death during the Kalos invasion.

She shows back up in the Kalos storyline in this and traumatizes the ever loving fuck out of Serafina.

She chose a Chikorita. Who she loves dearly, even when she's pretty much gone off the deep end, and then some.

Lina Smith, local trouble maker, owner of a perpetually terrified Feraligator, and the best friend of the very weird Ethan Aurum, and the only person who seems to be on Silver's good side. Vaguely.

Oh so vaguely.

Youngest out of three children, her older brother, Gregory, is an incredibly average guy who's extremely confused as to what the fuck happens on her journey, and never NOT worried about her.

Parents died in a car accident some two years before the start of the storyline, is cared for by Gregory at this point in time

Don't ask why Greg is a thing. He just is.

Like Arden before her, Lina takes a very proactive approach to dealing with Silver during the Radio Tower Incident. Which involves decking him in the jaw.

Surprisingly, this is the part where there relationship improves.

Chooses a Totodile and names him Reyne, and is fiercely protective of him. The little guy could put a Sobble to shame... This also means Silver ends up with the incredibly overly energetic and affectionate Chikorita, all for my personal amusement, (said Chikorita is named Lyra, and no, he does not spoil her, shut your mouth Aurum!).

Her entire story isn't so much focused on her gym challenge or the reappearance of Team Rocket, as it is finding out what the fuck happened to her sister.

Ethan starts tagging along after Goldenrod, and starts to reveal he knows a lot more than he's willing to admit about the situation.

Gets caught up in a lot of nasty things, and nearly ends up dismantling an operation to kill Red, Lance, and Cynthia.

(Where are our favorite colored duo, and supporting tree, during all this you may ask? Why, still recovering from trauma of course! Like reasonable, sane, run-of-the-mill people. More specifically, Blue's officially taking over Viridian gym before the start of the Kanto gym circuit season, Red's fucking around in Hoenn for a good bit before coming to Mt. Silver just two months before Lina gets there, and Arden's in that vague Greece based region getting therapy.)

Her journey is just a really long incident report, and Looker has half a mind to slap her at the end of it.

A good portion of it is Ethan's fault though. Ethan, by the way, nails the looking right through you stare.

And a girl named Sarah Morgendy comes up a lot, although it turns out she's just a kid trying to protect her adopted brother from the shit shoe she got them involved in illegally.

The only two problems with that is she's about eleven and emotionally compromised.

Gets recruited by Interpol after everything is said in done.

Gets the code name Agent Lenz.

Demands therapy for herself, Ethan, and Silver. She gets it.

While she's training as an agent, Ethan and his mother move to Unova so that he can attend an Academy meant 'rising stars', and Silver becomes Elm's apprentice.

...somehow ends up married to Blue years down the line. They have two kids between them. Maria and Reginald

[excorcismic]

ALRIGHT SO HERE’S THE DEAL ; if misa is my first favorite death note character , this angy kid right here is my second - i adore mello to pieces and he’s very close to misa in terms of how much i love him , but ultimately does she remain queen . but ! the cool thing is that in the series they never actually interact ( the closest being mello spying on her for a brief period of time ) which means i could play my two blonde fashion icons and voila , here they are . so here’s the gist on mello in canon & alucard and most importantly the plots i am digging bc my muse for him rn ?? is off the charts . LESGO !

IN A CANON NUTSHELL ( HUGE DEATH NOTE SPOILERS ) : So Mello’s introduced during the latter half of Death Note ( or maybe it’s more the final third but either way there’s a part where it significantly breaks in two ) - or , the very end of the first half , takes center stage during the second . He’s from the original home of the detective L , an orphanage of gifted children known as Whammy’s House - and essentially , the goal of the children is to maybe one day live up to L , one person taking his place . Mello !! Is one of the candidates . But he has a permanent chip on his shoulder since Near - the other candidate - always managed to beat him at everything . So when Light Yagami gets his way & L dies , Near and Mello are told that L didn’t choose a successor between them . When the idea that they work together to do just that is brought up , Near ( who honestly really liked Mello ) is like ‘hey! let’s do it’ and Mello ( still angy that Near is always right in front of him ) is like ‘FUCK you I’m gonna catch Kira myself’ and leaves the orphanage . Five years later , he works with the mafia , even getting his hands on a Death Note & with the help of a shinigami ( that he scared the living piss out of ) concludes that a rule that states a human will die if they haven’t written in the notebook in thirteen days is fake . He also like , blackmails the president and orchestrates an explosion that Soichiro Yagami dies after but he gets a wicked ass scar afterwards so it’s okay . Now working with L’s third potential successor , Matt , he spies on Misa Amane and makes connections between the second L ( Light Yagami ) & Kira , deduces that Kiyomi Takada is an accomplice , and kidnaps her to try and expose Kira as Light Yagami - but . . . he dies in the process , and so does Matt . The cool thing is though his discoveries led to Near’s breakthrough in the Kira case ( as he and Near met one last time , where he gives Mello the photo he has here in Alucard ) and Mello kind of gets the last laugh post-mortem . And also a kind of neat thing , his last appearance is as the narrator in the Death Note prequel , the Los Angeles BB murder cases - I’m gonna quote the whole thing in my eventual intro but ! It’s an awesome book and Mello is an awesome narrator . ( dn spoilers end here tyvm )

IN AN ALUCARD NUTSHELL - So Mihael Keehl ( his real name in canon , mind you ) is a twenty year-old runaway from the foster system - also sometimes lived in an orphanage but when he wasn’t , the constant tossing around because of his rebellious tendencies wrecked him . He isn’t employed , not does he actually have an actual home - living in a beat down truck most of the time if he can’t get a motel / hotel room for a night or a few . He makes basic expenses and fills his basic needs by doing odd jobs in exchange for money or favors - stuff like ‘if I do this for you for x amount of days or I get this for you you’ll pay for my phone bill for the next two months’ and that stuff . Basic arrangements . And he knows he can like , maybe try to commit to a job or a home but he’s actually . . . way too fucking scared of being tied down or in a worse situation that’s somehow more stable so the nomad life is kind of what he sticks with . But he’s homeless & it’s not good for him . At all . He’ll never flat-out admit that though which is why he calls himself a drifter . His main reason for being on his own , and refusing any extensive help from anyone outside of these favors , is because he has a point to prove - because that inferiority complex kicks in because the other kids he grew up against are doing amazing things and he wants to do better , and not receive any large amount of help . He just ,,, doesn’t understand he’s not doin’ any good for himself .

BUT OOOOOOOH YOU WANNA PLOT WITH MELLO SO BAD OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

so the biggest connection in the sense that it’s the most open , i mentioned that mello mainly pays for his own expenses ( or more so , gets other people to pay for them ) by doing favors or small jobs in exchange for either money or other forms of payment . so obviously , people he has these arrangements with - they can range from anything , mello is extremely smart ( a thing that comes up is that he has a shit ton of wasted potential ) in the books , technology , the streets and has a bunch of small talents he’s picked up over the years of living on his own ( saving money , sewing and mending / caring for clothes how else is he gonna keep that amazing fashion , cooking with very little ingredients , cleaning with little tools , fixing the kinks / souping up automobiles , ahem sexual stuff , tutoring , sometimes even mild illegal shit , you name it . ) so he can offer these talents / skills / etc . to other people who could use them ( most of the time repeatedly ) and in exchange , the other muses will pay him in cash or by doing things like paying his phone bill , car insurance , health insurance , food / groceries , hotel/motel room for a few nights , or even just offering him a place to use the shower or bathroom or even a bed for certain days of the week . This can also lead to many of the other plots I have listed here in the sense it’s a start , and it can happen with anyone , anywhere , for any reason .

literally the thing w/ mel is that he knows no limits and will do anything for anyone and is hardheaded as fuck about it because he’s got a point to prove and things to do and he won’t waste time refusing but the moment you offer your help in exchange for nothing or you’re trying to hold his hand a little too much and he catches on , the arrangement’s over and you’ll be lucky to see him again .

okay so uh . in that sense ?? maybe ppl who kind of helped him out and he did like . one thing for them and once he got his payment for that one thing he kinda bounced n they never heard from him again for whatever reason . nothing against them but he rly isn’t gonna make a habit of staying in one place for too long . 

obviously , those people that really think he’s gotta give up the ghost of trying to survive like this bc it’s wearing on his health & he doesn’t wanna admit it . and he’s tried shaking them off but he won’t leave and sometimes he’s forced to give into the help they offer but tries making them take a payment back .

old peers that felt whatever way about him back then but feel pity for his wasted potential ( at the moment ) , bc this dude was like . . . a straight-a student and was rly good at a bunch of things and now he’s living the way he is . whatever they wanna do and however they felt about him and how he interacted with them back then Differs but . there’s kind of like ‘damn u live like this’ now . gimme some kids who had crushes on him , kids he was rivals with , kids he got into fights with and maybe socked in the jaw a few times , kids who always admired him , kids who hated his guts - it always comes down to what life is like now vs. what life was like then .

i’d like some friends who were formed from the favors - and maybe they’ve stopped whatever they had with him but they still regularly hang out or something , maybe offer a place to stay for the night . 

just in general ?? people who keep their home open for him and whether he takes them up on their offer on a rare basis .

pls some folks trick him into accepting their help like leave him basket of chocolate candy and trap him or something like just . make it ‘wait what’ deal bc they all know he’s stubborn .

also uh . he’s been arrested for minor offenses a few times so some ppl who’ve bailed him out pls and he’s tryna repay him back .

mentor figures . mentor figures pls he’s trying not to accept their mentor-y guidance from .

so maybe the hero  . . . maybe the one person who was like the l to mello of alucard ( maybe even the Man himself ) that he just . looked up to forever and probably still does .

. . . favor idea ?? maybe he’s a stand-in boyfriend or date for events or somethin’ like mello kinda has that bad boy reputation but maybe he dated them for show on their whim at some point or they have that kinda thing ‘pls pretend to my boyfriend and i’ll let u use my shower every weekend for the next month’ or so .

also , one night stands or friends with benefits he uses only for the bathroom / a place to sleep . folks he’s dated for a period bc he did feel something and therefore he had them as an outlet but then broke up with them ( most likely ?? he was the one who ended it bc he has never known love stability & got spooked on it ending and just - did it on his own accord before he could further get hurt BUT THAT NEVER WORKS and he has hella commitement issues ) and tried to shrug it off as ‘ just another fling ’ even tho he’s highkey sad over it . ppl he’s slept with and then disappears with only a ‘thank you’ note as the evidence he was there . and do they accept it ?? are they pissed over it ?? that is up to You but it’s probably gotten around that mihael keehl has never had a stable relationship and never , ever stays . 

lots of ppl he probs has the above two arrangements or scenarios with bc again , gotta get shit done somehow .

enemies . . . he has an endless grudge with for some reason like maybe they screwed him over , 

i want . . . folks he can eventually get soft with and maybe actually seek that comfort in even tho u gotta chip at the five thousand concrete walls to get to that stage . i want to see him become better and that’s an ultimate goal for him in alucard ( even though it’s gonna be a bit more difficult with his memories returning ) to get better , commit to something , accept stability and get his life on a better track .

and yes , that includes an eventual ship ! really it can build off of any of these dynamics just . give me sneaking in through windows late at night , soft words and gentle kisses and protective hugs and please stay i know you never stay but please stay with me and the thought that maybe he should leave but he doesn’t and they wake up with him after a night and he’s still there and maybe there’s a scare he left like he always does but he made chocolate chip pancakes and he feels safe & alright which is . . . a rare occasion in his messy ass life . maybe something like friends to lovers , fwb to lovers , an old flame , anything this could be fun to do !! end goal though , i’d like something on the softer side that’s healthy and loving because that’s really what he needs . 

( some notes tho bc he’s only twenty i’ll sayyyy max i’ll do the more romantic / spicier stuff with in that aspect is . . . 23 - 24 ?? bc he’s almost 21 like if we put the fact we’re in october into account and his birthday is december 13th that isn’t too far away so . That’s That . he’s also pan as fuck . )

BUT , yes . the main connections / plots there are what i can think of . ik a lot of these are so wordy and i’m sorry bt as always ! i will take literally anything i love plots and i think with what i have for mello there is so much potential in what we can do here .

and as always . give me other death note characters . near or matt specifically would fucking make me cry and i’m here for it .

[puddlesnmarmots]

I love oranges

 [Disclaimer: This is an entirely informal, subjective and voluntary book review (by this serotonin-deprived puddle) Also possible SPOILERS (no names are spilled though).

Alright, let’s talk about The Priory of the Orange Tree (by Samantha Shannon):

The Priory of the Orange Tree is fantasy stand-alone novel that features the alternating perspective of two kingdoms divided by an old and proud, independent belief of their traditions in their once shared history. Their common, devastating enemy is waking up from his thousand year imprisonment. Unbeknownst to these blockheads, there is a secret priory which holds the truth to their true history and how to destroy their greatest enemy, not only to their kingdoms, but their whole world.

^ Been a while since I had to summarize anything that efficiently

Admittedly, I had to look up what a ‘priory’ is. I was mildly surprised by my discovery to find that it is basically a nunnery governed by a prioress. Driven by the unusual title and the intriguingly beautiful cover, I brought it up to @marmot to make it our candidate for a monthly read, and it did! 

800+ pages, several days and one insomniac night later, I finished the book and had ... mixed feelings. Which is a curious thing because books usually give me a defined feeling at its conclusion.

This one didn’t.

And I’m even more bummed out to know that this is a stand-alone!

But here’s what I think, broken down into appropriate breakdowns:

Characters (1.2/1.5)

- Rich. Diverse. Queer (I particularly enjoyed reading about this).

ALIVE!

And

oh

so

deeply

flawed

- Each character had its purpose in the story, driving their companions and the plot forward. Even some acting like the travel guide you didn’t know the characters needed until everything comes to place.

- Deaths that will have you close the book and ache for a bit. Don’t say I didn’t warned you.

- Arguably it almost feels like there’s too many characters around. It is after all a 800+ page book, not all of them will be as important as the main or supporting or even minor characters.

- There is however a small handful of characters I questioned their relevancy in the later half of the book when their names don’t show up.

- One of the antagonists (yes, plural) is so infuriatingly hateful (some) while the rest are just ... ehhhh. But there is definitely that one antagonist you will feel hate growing throughout the book and feel somewhat annoyed at the ending they got

- The protagonists are stronk ass women. 

Plot (1.5/1.5)

- Woven in a manner that has you questioning from the start what the connection is between the two alternating view points of one kingdom and the other, it all pays off as you are taken on this journey of solving the puzzle and discovering the horrifying truths of the story.

- Seriously, I had to restrain myself from reading non-stop because I wanted to know what happened next and solve the damn puzzle. Any book that does that to me has successfully did what it’s supposed to do - pull the reader in.

Setting/World-building (1.5/1.5)

- SO. MUCH. APPRECIATION. FOR. THE. AUTHOR. FOR. THE. WORLD. SHE. BUILT.

- The two kingdoms are vastly different in its culture and traditions, from the simple presentation of their food and ingredients, to their respective monarchy. You greatly look forward to taking in these stark yet simple difference with respect to each kingdom.

- AND THE CUSTOMS! POLITICS! AUTHORITY FIGURES! YOU KNOW WHAT KINGDOM IS WHICH!

- I enjoyed the amount of care put into the details and descriptions of this fictional world that is clearly influenced by real world cultural difference. While the focus is certainly on the two kingdoms, other kingdoms are also mentioned and even then, you can differentiate which is which. Seriously, I’m still in awe.

Bonus (0.2/0.5)

- Footnotes would have been helpful throughout the book but otherwise, certain foreign terminology are gradually revealed and explained in the following pages

- There is a ‘Glossary’, ‘Timeline’ and ‘The Persons of the Tale’ for your reference which is good (but kind of almost pointless for me because I’m a lazy sonofaduck)

- D R A G O N S !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Overall, I give the book a solid 4.4/5. It’s definitely worth the long read. And if you’re someone who enjoys reading fantasy books, I highly recommend you to take this one up and take your time reading it.

- [SPLOOSH]

[creativebeast18]

Never let go

FINALLY, I’M DONE

I had a rough time this last couple of months, and all the schedule I had made to write just fell apart. But when I was feeling the saddest, my cellphone broke and had to get a new one. It’s my first Android, and I had no way of passing all of my contacts and apps, so I had to contact lightdusk96 for help to set my discord account.

I’m sorry I took so long writing this, I’m still managing time with university and rn, this si all I could do. I don’t think that I’ll be able to write for a couple of months. But, you never know!

This si set on the Teen Titans and The Judas Contract movie, and the flashbacks on amix between the old Titans and some Young Justice characters, because...I can. I like the interactions between some characters from both worlds. And I’m really sad that YJ didn’t add Starfire. (this is why we have fanfiction, right?)

Enjoy!

_____________________________________________

Both knew something was wrong. Yes, they were moving forward and were going to live together. But it seemed neither of them were talking. While Starfire took some books out of one box, Dick tried to make some conversation.

“You know, babe, when you agreed to move in together with me, I really didn’t thought you would bring this much weaponry”. He said as he tried to accommodate an axe and a knife on the already weapon-crowded wall. 

“If you don’t like them…” His plan had backfired. Why didn’t he just asked if she had forgotten something on the tower? Or if she liked the view of the appartement? Partially, he knew all the nervousness and awkwardness weren’t his fault. Moving in with someone wasn’t that easy. Both had lived together before, yes, but never shared a room permanently, or the bathroom, or anything else besides the kitchen. He kept thinking that maybe he had rushed to much, that maybe if he had stayed with her for a while on the Tower (and had made the room soundproof), then he should’ve popped the question.

So many things could go wrong now. Dick remembered when he had bought the place: he had imagined them sitting on the couch watching movies, about a thousand times; or in the kitchen cooking something together, about two thousand times; or the mornings waking up in each other’s arms, about a million times. Everything seemed so perfect in his mind back then. So what had gone wrong between that moment, and now? 

“No, no, they are great!” He went to hold her hands, but she still looked at the ground, avoiding his stare. This was it. He couldn’t take it anymore. He had to apologise. “Look, Kori, if you think this is too soon, or you aren’t sure yet if you want to live with me, I completely…” but he was cut of unguarded by a sweet and anxious tone.

“What? No, of course I want to live with you! More than anything!” As Starfire lifted her eyes, she catched a look of relief and surprise on her loved one. “My discomfort is not caused by our moving. It has made me very happy that you asked.”

Richard smiled nervously and held Kori by the waist. Still concerned, he asked “What is it then? Is there something I can do?” With this, he hoped that she would talk to him, but she looked at the ground again. “Please, Star, I want to know, I care more than enough about you to get hurt by something you say about me.” He lifted his hand to her cheek and stroked it. “Please, I’d do anything” he said as he touched her forehead with his, hugging her, almost as if they wanted to be close to each other and never let go.

“Do you think I’m a good leader?” asked her, while looking at him with sad eyes. He felt a chill on his bones, not sure where this was coming from. “After training with the team, you had a briefing with them...without me. I...I know it’s natural in a way, you where their leader before and I believe they still see you that way” Starfire finished. All the time she was talking she cursed herself. She thought this was just a minor thing, something she shouldn’t be bothered by. Maybe if she had just held it in, if she was stronger, she questioned, maybe she wouldn’t be about to have a silly argument with her boyfriend.

“Kori, look at me” said Richard, still holding her face in his hands, like if she was, is and will always be, the most precious thing he could ever come close to. “You are, undoubtedly, unquestionably, the most amazing leader I have ever come to know. When I worked with Bruce, he tried to lead me in the same path as him, and it was so dark, I was afraid that at the end I wouldn’t recognize myself anymore. When I lead the Titans, I doubted myself every week, and working solo too. Were it not for you, I would have failed a long time ago. It’s only because you have been here, in my life, that I have been able to overcome all of that and more.”

At this point, Dick didn’t need to say more. Star was hugging him desperately, almost like he was her lifeline, like he was the sun she so hopelessly needed to survive. She tried to clear her throat from the crying she was hiding, but to no avail. “So, you don’t think I’m weak, or that I’m a bad example for the others?”

“What? No, not at all! The reunion was to plan Terra’s birthday with us, I just didn’t want to tell you yet because I knew you had to pack. I thought I could tell you later -  Plus, weak?! You are the strongest person I know. And you know why?” asked Dick. He held the beautiful alien woman in his arms, looking down at her emerald eyes and planting kisses all over her face: her forehead, her cheeks, her nose, and finally her lips.

Starfire returned the kiss tenderly, laying her head in the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent. “No, why?” she said as Richard lowered his hands to her waist and allowed them to sit on the sofa, still not letting go of each other. He took her left hand in his right, and layed it over his heart. With his other hand, he stroked her hair softly, taking in all of her figure.

“It’s because you never back up from anything. You aren’t afraid of showing your emotions, or defending anyone who’s in need. And even when things weren’t going so well, you always took it with a smile. That is one of the things I love about you. You have always been brave, and non apologetic about being yourself, even if others laughed or didn’t understand. I think it’s what made me start falling in love with you in the first place.” He explained, looking at the ceiling as to hide his blushing. Yet, Kori could see it clearly in his face, as well as feel his heartbeat speeding up.

“And since when have you known that? That you were in love with me, I mean”. She was trying to make him nervous, she had always thought he looked cute when he was like that. It had become almost a game for them, to tease each other and make each other blush. Dick looked at her startled, almost shocked by her question. Starfire started to giggle, so that he knew she did it on purpose. He laughed too and threw his head back. Kori re-accommodated herself so that she could plant a peck on his lips. Richard caressed her face with his thumb and recalled the memory.

“Well, I think it was when we were in high school. It was almost six months since the Titans had started studying at Gotham Academy, thanks to Bruce, and of course, eventually there was a dance. I think it was for the Winter Solstice or some other thing. I had always avoided the school dances, but all of you wanted to go, so I thought at least I should accompany you. The day before, I remember being sit in my bed, reading a book, but not really paying much attention to it. You knocked on my door…

FLASHBACK

“Hey, Robin? Zatanna, Miss Martian and I were about to go out to… Are you alright?” Starfire had now fully entered the room and had closed the door, as she knew Robin appreciated his privacy.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. Don’t worry about me” he said with his eyes looking down, he really felt defeated. At the same time, he didn’t want her to worry about something so silly. 

“No, I know everything is not fine, it was clear when I looked at you, and you know why?” Richard crooked his head to the side, was he that obvious? “You are holding the book upside down” Star said while pointing at the novel. Dick lifted it up and looked at the cover. Damn, he must’ve looked like an idiot in front of his crush. He sighed and threw his head back, disappointed at being discovered.

“I’m sorry, I...I’m just nervous, I’m not really excited about tomorrow night” he said defeatedly. The memories rushed through his head and he couldn’t help but tremble at the fear. “What an idiot I must seem, over something so silly” he thought to himself.

“Why is that? I have heard our friends be very excited about tomorrow. That dances are a way to let go and have the fun” said Kori. Now she had removed her shoes and was kneeling on top of the bed, hands above her thighs. 

“That’s not always the case...Ever since I was a kid, I was treated differently at dances. At first I thought they were being apologetic because of my parents death, but then, I began to realise the truth. No one really cared about me, they cared about the money I would own one day. It was almost as if I was a walking wallet: people used false words and fake smiles to get what they wanted from me. They never meant it - I never meant anything to them, other than money and business. Bruce didn’t make it better either: he knew we had to keep appearances, so he made me take classes in etiquette, classic dancing, piano, and all sorts of fancy stuff. I was never a rich kid at heart” Robin said, taking a breath and sinking his head in his hands.

He felt all of life’s weight pulling him down, he was drowning in sadness and sorrow. He wasn’t strong enough to do this. What was he going to do tomorrow? All of his friends were counting on him, and he was paralysed, useless to them like this. His desperation was cut off by a hand caressing his shoulder. He looked up, surprised at the touch.

“I completely understand what you are going through” Richard sat crossed legged, his left hand taking her right one. She then cupped his hand between hers, and stroked it as to calm him down. “As a princess in Tamaran, I also had to learn proper etiquette, and all of the royal traditions we had. To me, it was quite boring, and while my parents did manage for me to have a happy childhood, my biggest fear was that they would be disappointed of me not acting my part, and embarrassing them. But here, on Earth, I realised that appearances don’t really matter, and that I should not be ashamed of being myself.” Robin squeezed her hand, yet, he still didn’t feel determined enough to go tomorrow.

“What if people take pictures? Or what if someone looking for money comes up to me? Damn, only by thinking about it I can’t handle it. What am I going to do?” Anxiety was overflowing from every word he said. Kori couldn’t take it anymore.

Starfire then stood up, placed both her hands on his shoulders and almost screamed at him: “How many times do I have to tell you?! You don’t have to do it alone! You have us! If you are afraid people will catch you in a photo, we’ll let security know and then they’ll take care of it, or we could tell cyborg to hack his phone for the rest of night!

Kori let go of him, realising that she was screaming, and tried to find better words to describe her feelings. All this time, Robin was sitting in bed, anxious, confused, and still a small part of him felt like there was no hope for tomorrow, until she continued: “Dick, you are my best friend, so to me, that means that if you are having a bad time, I should and WOULD do anything for you to feel better. I could not be happy until you were alright again”. Starfire was now looking down, mostly because of embarrassment, showed by her blush.

What she didn’t realise was how what she said had changed something inside Richard. His heart started to beat fast, his palms were sweating, it was hard to breathe. He didn’t know at first what this sensation was, but he knew what he had to do. Confidence and determination filed his veins and tensed his muscles; he stood up, and hugged Star with all his might.

“Have I ever mentioned you are the best?” He let go of her, both smiling at each other. “Sorry, you said you had to go somewhere, right?” Robin slowly wiped the tears that had formed on the corner of his eyes, struggling to speak.

“Huh? Oh my God! You are absolutely right! The girls are waiting for me to go get dresses for tomorrow!” Star picked up her shoes and put them up as fast as possible. Suddenly she stopped and looked straight at Dick. “Do you feel better about tomorrow, then? If not, I can go shopping later…”

“Kori, I feel perfectly fine about tomorrow, thanks to you. So, go buy everything you need for tomorrow, and I’ll see you later tonight, okay?” said Richard as he walked her to the door, and smiled at her just before closing it. When he heard her running footsteps die down, he finally felt like he could breathe again. He supported himself against the door, and slid down until he sat on the floor. All of his world was spinning and crumbing, his heart beat so fast he could swear this is what Flash felt like. Starfire was definitely his crush, but now? Now she had to be the love of his life.

END FLASHBACK

“...And that was it for me. From that moment on, either it was you, or nothing at all”. He looked at Kori lovingly, and planted a kiss on her forehead. “No one but you has ever made me feel like that, not even close. You have always been the one, there was never a question in my mind” He got cut off when he saw the hardest and reddest blush Star had ever mustered, and smirked. “Good lord, you are cute! Hahahahaha, now who’s blushing?” He planted another kiss on her nose, and rubbed her cheek with his hand.

Koriand’r pouted at the gestures, which of course he found even more adorable, and tried to reverse the situation. “Well, actually, I knew that I was in love with you the day after that”. Dick lifted both his eyebrows, giving away his interest on her story. Starfire giggled a bit as she put her thumb on her bottom lip, a gesture she used to do when she thought and that Nightwing loved. “So, the night of the dance, we agreed to meet directly on the school…”

FLASHBACK

They really needed to hurry. They had taken way too much time on their make-up, could not decide on which shoes, and all of this minor details had made them late. Late, to one of the events that was most important in Starfire's life: her first dance with her friends, and possibly Robin too.

So, there she was, in a limo Bruce lent for this night specifically, and arriving an hour late. This was not supposed to happen. She was supposed to be there for him, and was worried she had let him down. She promised him and herself a perfect night, and this was not it, not in the slightest. Her ankle kept going up and down, a failed attempt to calm herself down. Miss Martian had noticed this, and placed her hand on top of Kori’s. “I’m sure everything will be ok, they are probably having fun. What I can promise you is that this anxiety will definitely won’t help you have a good night”.

“But how can I fix this? Robin wanted this night to be different from all the times he had to fake appearances on the Wayne Manor, and I wanted to be there to make sure that it happened that way. He may be mad at me to have to deal with interested people and me not being there for him makes me feel like I have disappointed him in a way.” Starfire sunk her head on her hands, pretty much defeated. How could she face him now?

"Okay...I must admit, I've never seen you like this. And I think I know why this matters so much to you" M'gan said, eyeing the other alien girl curiously and rubbing her chin. Kori looked at her surprised, blushing terribly. Before she could have the chance to speak, the martian continued. “Hey! Don’t be shy! I had kinda figured it out before.” Star slumped back and sighed. What did it matter now? She had broken a promise to the person she loved the most. She was heartbroken

“Look, don’t beat yourself up over this. Dick will understand, I’m sure of it, and you know why?”. Koriand’r shook her head. “Because he is your best friend, silly! Believe me, he’ll understand.”

The tamaranian girl threw her head back, looking at the car’s ceiling. “I don't know if we’ll be friends again after tonight. He used to have terrible memories of this kind of events, and I wanted to change that. My only hope is that somehow, he has become invisible and no-one is talking to him just because of his fame.” Starfire stared at the window, trying to focus on something else. Maybe the lights on the city and the stars in the sky could at least cheer her up, now that she probably would lose the best friend she ever had.

“I get where you are coming from, but you shouldn’t forget something. You guys have been friends for such a long time that I know for sure nothing will ever separate you two.” M’gan started playing with her necklace, as the precious memory of her and Conner came to mind.  “There are feelings that are stronger than others, and I don’t think that even if here were mad at you he would stop being friends with you. If I had a coin for every time he cared about you, I could have paid the limo.” Both laughed at the joke, the first time Star had smiled on the whole day. “When I met Conner, I made ton of mistakes, I’ll never forget when I used telepathy with him for the first time.” Kori lifted both her eyebrows in curiosity, as she had never heard the story before. The martian noticed this and explained. “He hated it, and I thought he would never forgive me, but look at us now. Dating for a year and a half, and happier than ever.”

Starfire squeezed her left wrist, the epiphany sinking in. Of course he would understand! This is Robin she was talking about! The guy that told her no one could take her place, that it didn't mattered to him how she looked, the person that was always there for her and made her happy with just his presence. Yeah, maybe they were late, but that didn’t mean they could not make the rest of the night amazing. It was a good thing they were a block away from school. 

With a step full of confidence, Kori got out of the limo with all of her female friends. This was their night. They headed inside to find the rest, but Star was suddenly pulled into the janitor closet, much to her surprise. Her fighting senses kicked in, and immediately punched whatever was in front of her. She heard the other person duck and yelp in fear.

“Star, it’s me!” said a very scared Richard kneeled on the floor and reaching out to turn on the light. Kori gasped in surprised and kneeled too. “Don’t worry, you just got the wall” he said, pointing at the crack that had formed on the wall. 

Dick would have asked if she was okay, if she wanted to go get something to drink, told her not to worry about arriving late and that she really hadn’t missed anything. But the moment he took his eyes of the wall and laid them on his crush, the words had left his lips. His breathing got heavy again, his heart pounded heavily, his palms were sweaty just from the sight in front of him. Starfire was dressed in a beautiful purple dress that got down to her knees. Sequins and various shimmers adorned the top and the skirt, flowing with the curves of her body. From the top of the chest to her shoulders the dress was sheer, and her hair was pinned to her right side, adorned with a butterfly shaped headpiece and curled beautifully. This allowed him to see the curve of her neck and how the light reflected on her soft skin. Yesterday he was so in love he thought it impossible to be in the same room with her without looking ridiculous. Now, he felt like if he didn’t kiss her right now, he would die in the spot.

“I...I….I-I...Umm…” Koriand’r looked at him puzzled, wondering if he was worried about something, or angry at her. "You..you...beautiful." Richard, realising how ridiculous he sounded, stood up and offered her a hand, all the while scratching his neck in awkwardness. "I mean, you-u, tonight...um." Dick took a deep breath, trying to compose himself. He took her hands in his, and looked right at her beautiful emerald eyes. "You look very beautiful tonight, Kori. In fact, I-I think y-you are gorgeous right now."

There was no doubt in his words, for more shy that he seemed; to his crush he was telling the truth. Starfire blushed deeply, stuttering as well in her response. "W-why, t-thank you, Richard. You look v-very handsome tonight as well." She stared at him, her pupils got dilated, her heart beat as fast as it could, she felt a tingling down her back. Damn, I must have caught something, she thought. Never in her life had she heard or felt something like this. It felt like a drug: the more she took, the more she needed. And inside of her, she knew the only one that could ever make her feel this way, was Richard. "Oh, I completely forgot! This is a dance, right? We should go dance!" She said, trying to distract herself from the situation and not ridicule herself. She was relieved when he nodded and then they ran to the gym, to have the night that would begin it all.

END FLASHBACK

"And that's pretty much how it happened. You were always so kind to me, have always been my best friend. It was a mix of all of that and of what happened at the dance." Star had been rubbing her lover's chest during the while story, but now she stopped and set her eyes on his. "When you called me beautiful, and gorgeous, despite the fact I had thought I ruined your night, I think I didn't just feel butterflies in my stomach, but fireworks". Starfire beamed the brightest smile she had ever showed. Dick responded by cupping her face with his right hand, rubbing the back of her neck. 

"I swear, each day that passes, I think you are more beautiful, more gorgeous, more kind...just, more YOU. And it makes me crazy, because it makes me love you even more each day, even when I don't think it's possible, you somehow manage to make me love you more." Nightwing sat up, making Star sit with one knee on each side. He held on to her waist, feeling like if he let go, life would not make sense anymore. “I love you so, so, so, so, so much, I think it hurts when you are not around.” He sunk his head on the crook of her neck, as she stroked his hair lovingly.

“I will never love someone as strongly as I love you. I would do anything for you, no matter what it was. Your happiness means my happiness, and I don’t know what I would do without you. Without your love, I think my life would not be worth living.” Koriand’r took his head between her hands, and then let them fall on his shoulders. “I promise I will love you until the end of my days, until my last breath leaves my body and every part of me has died. As long as there’s a cell of me living, I will keep loving you. You are my everything.”

Richard could not help himself anymore and kissed her passionately, one hand on her waist and the other behind her head, intertwining his fingers between her hairs. He let his tongue go inside of her mouth, exploring it. Starfire didn’t complain and kissed back just as hard, pressing her chest with his and taking her time with the kiss. Both got distracted and lost balance, and were now lying on the couch with their legs intertwined. The make-out session got more intense by the second, with none of them wanting to stop. If was as if the other was their lifeline, the only thing that kept them alive. Their blood rushed fast through their veins, but after a while, both had to stop to gasp for air. Their lips parted and laid next to each other, panting and recuperating from one of the best kisses they had had.

A couple of minutes passed, enough for Nightwing to form a sentence. “You know, I think my favourite memory from that night, was the dance that we shared.” Starfire played with Dick’s hair and planted a kiss on his cheek as she listened. “All of the guys knew that I liked you, and kept teasing me all night about me asking you to  dance with me. Remember our faces? When we were dancing with everyone else, and suddenly the music changed from a fast pace to a slow dance?” Richard grabbed a picture from one of the boxes, a picture that both cherished. In the photograph, they were both standing together, holding hands, and staring at each other. They were so lost in each others eyes, they probably forgot the camera was there in the first place.

Nightwing looked at his girlfriend and handed her the picture, then got up from the sofa and went to get his cellphone, leaving her to remember their first dance together. A hand suddenly  popped between her and the framed photo. “Care to dance?” he said, with a charming voice he knew she loved. She got up an left the photo on the couch. Richard started playing Are you lonesome tonight, and both held each other as they slowed dance, hearing the others breath and heartbeat, and never letting go.

FLASHBACK

They had been dancing for about half an hour, and both of them seemed to have the most fun they had had in a long time. Although both first memories of dances were not ideal, this night surely was. To all the kids on the school, this was a great moment that could not be improved in any way. That was of course, until Cyborg and Wally started their prank on Robin. The dancing music changed from a classic DJ song to one of teenagers worst nightmares: a slow dancing song. Most people started to leave the dance floor, to save themselves from the embarrassment. Who would want to be teased the next day about being “romantic” in front of everyone. Dick could already think of most of school making fun of him if he decided to stay and dance.

Robin knew this had to be a joke from his friends, most probably making him uncomfortable in front of his love. Well, he wasn’t going to let them. And Kori wasn’t going to let this opportunity pass either. Both straightened their backs and confidently said “Would you like to dance?” at the same time. Both gasped at the other’s question, but then shook with laughter. 

As the laughs died down, Richard made a reverence, and Starfire responded. They giggled before coming closer, preparing to take the first step. As they started to dance, they began to make small talk. “What is this song called?” she said as she looked down trying not to step on top of her crush’s feet.

“It’s from a guy named Elvis, he died a long time ago, but his songs are still really good. This one is Are you lonesome tonight. Do you like it?” Dick couldn’t help but find cute how she kept looking down, being careful on each step taken. However, he missed looking at her eyes, and with one hand lifted her chin up. “Relax, you are doing great.” He showed her a smile that sent shivers through her back and almost melted her legs.

“Y-Yes, sorry.” She came closer to him, almost enough to feel the air coming out of his nose. “And to answer your question, I think I do.” She finished her sentence as she placed her head on his chest. Robin was surprised at the gesture, but let it happened anyway. In some ways, it seemed almost...natural.

While they were twirling around, he caught the sight of Victor, Wally, and Conner, all with open mouths at the sudden flop on their prank. Dick would have normally stuck out his tongue, or winked at them, but not this time. This moment was way to perfect for something else to distract him from it. He calmly laid his chin on top of her head, and breathed in the perfume of her hair. Yeah, this was their night, it didn’t matter who was watching them, who played pranks, who took pictures. Because when they were together, the rest of the world didn’t exist. Without the other, they didn’t exist. So they would not part ways, and not let go, because each moment they were together was by definition, perfect.

[scholasticbabe]

20 Goal Ideas For College Students

Hey guys! I don’t know if I’m the only one but sometimes I can pull a blank when it comes to deciding what goals I should pick for college. There are so many things that you could possibly do it’s almost hard to remember them all. Over time I’ve taken to creating a brain dump of possible goals I could pursue in college, and I think it might help some of you that are struggling to think of what direction you want to go in. So here are 20 goal ideas for college students:

Do X hours of community service: Great for your resume and building character

Find a mentor: this will help you hone in even more on what you might want to do postgrad

Create a podcast: if you’re in college there probably a topic you’re passionate about, why not start a podcast about it?

Create a short film: Tap into your artsy side and gather up some friends and tell a story

Study abroad: You don’t have to wait until you’ve graduated to travel

Get CPR certified: it only takes a few hours and you could save a life

Get published on a blog or online magazine: there are tons of blogs that are looking for interesting content and you could write about something you’re passionate about

Create a new event on your campus: always wanted to be a part of something but it’s not at your school? Why not be the first to do it! Campuses are always looking for new things to entice students

Do research: research opportunities are everywhere and in almost every study! Just put out feelers to your professor and you never know what might happen

Write a book: there’s no rule that says you can’t do it now! There are tons of amazing novels that have been published by a college student and there are plenty of groups and forums for student writers. You have so many options: fiction vs nonfiction, short story vs novel, novel vs ebook. You just have to pick and start writing.

Run a 5k : why not get in the best shape of you life in college? It will give you a solid goal to work towards and usually tied to a good cause so it’s a win-win situation. Convince some friends to do it and you have a fun reason to start running.

Take a class in something you have no idea about: if you’re paying thousands of dollars for education you might as well. You never know when that knowledge might become useful.

Graduate early: college is fun and all but it’s also expensive, so if you’re looking to accelerate your career or you think you might be able to make the most of It by doing three years or even a semester less, go for it!

Be apart of a national competition: Join a national club and put your all into to make it to the national stage. It will fuel your inner narcissist and give you a great sense of accomplishment

Revive an old tradition or club at your school: at any college, there are things dying out because the class who graduated didn’t have a good shift of power, so if you’re not down to create a new club from scratch why not try reviving an old one?

Speak at an event: Public speaking is a great skill and it can be a worthwhile goal to put yourself out there in front of your peers and professor and speak about something you’re passionate about

Start a nonprofit or business: help solve a problem! there’s usually a lot of resources for students to pursue this route because people are looking to you to help solve some of the world’s issues

Learn social media marketing: even if you have no intention of going into business, life in the digital age requires a strong social media presence, it will help you get jobs and even meet new friends. Learning how to maintain your personal brand with social media marketing is an increasingly valuable skill.

Be an executive member of a club: usually, you’ll want to be apart of at least one exec body in college to show your leadership skills, but it is a good idea to pick one of two orgs that you’re passionate about and work on leaving a legacy in those clubs.

Learn another language: languages are offered at almost every university and it can usually be a great minor or just something to pursue. It’s usually hard to learn on your own and with the support of language faculty, you could leave college being bilingual!

And there you have it! Some ideas to spark a new sense of purpose. If you have any other college goals that you’ve pursued please let me know.

[cassandraclare]

Malecparty, Red Scrolls, and women writing for money.

havisha1212 said: Hi, I just want to say that i've been seeing a lot of discourse online. [There are those] trying to boycott RSOM because apparently they know that your intentions with the book are to get money, even though you were offered more money to write Clace. I just want to say that you have thousands, if not in the millions of people who understand that you write what you want to write. WE LOVE YOU and we appreciate you.

I appreciate the love, truly. Of course I’m also distressed to hear about a boycott of The Eldest Curses, since it will be a book with a main interracial gay couple and a secondary interracial lesbian love story. A vendetta specifically targeting a book like that won’t be seen by the outside world of publishing as an act of support for something else. It would be seen as exactly what they expect — a lackluster interest in books about LGBT+ characters.

I guess there are a few things to talk about here: one is the realistic situation of LGBT+ kids’ publishing and one is about women’s writing. In terms of the first, it’s very strange to suggest I wrote these books for money when I did, as you say, take a pay cut to write them. I was paid a third of what I was paid for the Dark Artifices to write them though they are the same number of books. I was paid less than what I was paid for my adult Sword Catcher series which features a world and characters no one has any familiarity with at all — a completely unknown brand. Many of my international publishers still won’t publish TEC. One bought it and has as of now cancelled the deal, though they have bought different books from me since. There are a thousand things I could have written or done that would have made me more money. That’s the stark reality of the “cash cow” the boycotters are discussing. 

Someone in Hollywood once described Alec’s being gay to me as “a strike against the character’s likeability.” So far in publishing I have experienced publishing TEC as “a strike against its marketability.” As you all know, it was pushed back: that was because my publisher wanted Queen of Air and Darkness to come out first and set a record of strong sales — while they support the books completely, they want to be as pro-active as possible about getting diverse books front of as many people as possible.

I’m in a lucky position; I’m a bestselling author and if these books don’t sell at all, my career can take the hit. That’s partly why I’m writing them now, when I finally can: I think it’s important to make sure books like this are placed front and center in bookstores as expected bestsellers, but if these books blow up on me, I’ll survive it. Other writers who are writing books with LGBT+ content wouldn’t be so lucky, and the message of boycotting a “big” book with a gay main couple isn’t “We don’t like this author” (because my other books are doing just fine) — it’s “We don’t like this subject matter.” (It is also a strange punishment for Wes Chu, my cowriter, often forgotten in these debates — a man of color writing about another man of color.)

I am of course not saying anyone who doesn’t want to read these books should buy them. We should consume the entertainment we think should entertain us; that’s what it’s for. But the idea of punishing female writers for their moral failings is an old and unfortunate one. It’s always been acceptable for men to write for money, or for attention; “she wanted attention” is one of the worst things you can say about a woman, but an inoffensive thing to say about a man. Similarly I’ve often been told online that I don’t deserve to be paid for what I write, or that my creative work should be taken away from me and given to men. It has always been expected since the Victorian era that writing about complex people and complex stories is a man’s job, and women should write simple moralistic tales in which the good are rewarded and the bad are punished. When a good character in a man’s book does something wrong, he is congratulated for his complexity; I get told at great length how morally terrible I am personally, since female writers are not generally assumed to have the emotional distance from their characters that with men, is a given.

The roots of taking away women’s ability to profit from their work goes back centuries into the idea that it’s evil for women to own intellectual property at all. One of my favorite writers, Colette, died in poverty because her husband owned the copyright to her bestselling books. There is a deep discomfort with the idea of a woman being paid what she’s worth at all. Writers are entertainers and they don’t work for free any more than singers or actors or TV showrunners. I am the sole breadwinner of my family and I support my parents and others with the income I derive from working on the intellectual property I create. A man would be congratulated on his success. I am called a money-grubbing bitch. A man would be credited for his work. I get people spitting at me that Red Scrolls is “fanfic”, as if these were not characters I created myself, so intense is the need to shame women for the act of creation and the desire to take it away from them.

One of the reasons we self-published Ghosts of the Shadow Market was because I wanted to write a novella about a genderqueer lesbian and I wanted it to get the same attention as the other stories in small invisible ways sometimes readers don’t even notice — the same time spent on the cover, the same hiring of a great audio reader, the same time being edited, the same advertising. When EET came out we all sat around wringing our hands and hoping it would at least sell half as much as the others: it sold just as well, and we were thrilled. We can hang onto those numbers. We can prove important points in future to the publishing world about the viability of non-binary LGBT+ characters. Sales do matter. The Red Scrolls of Magic is a book, and sales expectations are higher for books than short stories, so I know I will be in the same state of fear and hope when it comes out.

But the fact Every Exquisite Thing did well means something else, too: I believed there was an audience for it, and every person who bought it proved me right. The outpouring of love during the contest for an early Red Scrolls of Magic copy was amazing, and I scrolled through the #malec and #malecparty tags (thank you so much you guys! Winners will be notified!) with tears in my eyes, overwhelmed by readers’ stories of coming out and having their eyes opened to new ideas, and most of all by their love. Before I ever had attention or money, I had the joy of creation. One of the most amazing feelings when writing is to make up people, and to have real people invest in your inventions. I created Magnus and Alec, building them into characters I could love block by block, and yesterday I got to see other people love them too. I have been awed by and grateful for the support of every reader who has embraced the diverse world I have tried to create, and the increasing diversity I try for as I keep on writing and am allowed to have more freedom in what I write than when I first began and was turned down by publishers because I wouldn’t remove Alec from my books. I am hoping to help change attitudes and create, along with many writers and readers who believe that diverse media makes a difference, a world in which a book with a main LGBTQ pairing will be judged purely on its literary merits. We’re not there yet! I wish we were. But the increasing call for and support for diverse literature makes me hope we are getting there. I trust in my readers. I have to believe that anybody calling for a boycott of The Red Scrolls of Magic is in a small hateful minority who has lost sight of how their actions would be perceived by the world, and the effect their actions would have on the world. I have to believe that there are far more people who are open to loving and supporting diverse stories.

Money and attention are great. But in the end, I write because I do believe words have the power to change people, and change the world. Ultimately, I have to do what I think is the right thing, and trust that other people will too. My readers haven’t let me down yet.  

[I decided to remove the part about the television show from the original ask. Unfortunately the asker has been forced to delete their tumblr because of responses to this post, and so I cannot ask them for clarification. I hope they are all right.

This answer is in response to this ask and others like it — it was not the only one — about people having decided to boycott Red Scrolls because they believed it was “an attempt to make money”. Their alliances aren’t important and I’m getting the sense this may have been an attempt to drag me into a fight I’m not interested in having and which I have deliberately avoided knowing or saying anything about since the show was cancelled. I’m interested in talking about keeping diverse lit front and center, and I’m interested in talking about how female creators are treated, online and off. I am irritated — and partially with myself — for having been dragged into internecine warfare between fans of different things. It’s not my place to opine on those things or on the fighting itself. I also removed the word “stan” from the original ask as I think it’s an insult. Fans are fans, whatever they like.]