#pay it out of pocket

[bluecookiesabi]

Who needs sleep when you can bitch to your friends and brother and about the STUPID ASS decisions your city government has made

[l3irdl3rain]

Crazy that they make you go to work to get a paycheck. I really think my night job should have given me paid paternity leave. Don’t they know I’m a single father?

[inkskinned]

you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

why dont u just replace him leon

dbh au

[holysheithyall]

“I’ve done the math, there’s no solution. We’ll never last”

[existennialmemes]

If you kill someone, they come and arrest you, and your subsequent trial is paid for by our taxes

If an insurance exec commits medical fraud by allowing an AI system to reject covered claims which results in the deaths of thousands, their families have to sue them at their own expense

[skyrim-forever]

I don't really know how to express it in a way that doesn't make me cringe and delete but I Am Not Okay right now

Trying to tell myself it could be much worse but damn does that not make me feel better. I don't want to whine because it could be much worse and I should be grateful it's not but going through it while having my first PMDD episode in months is not helping me think properly!

[wuntrum]

have my first therapy appointment in an hour. gonna shrivel up into a husk

[elvisqueso]

>mfw i realize the investors of the royal trading company i hired myself out to as land-marine security have bet their entire livelihoods and dreams for the future on a doomed project and i just could not care less about any of them.

Pocahontas (1995)

[thedisablednaturalist]

spent 3 hours last night panic searching for doctors to help me with my fibromyalgia. They are all either scams, extremely expensive boutique options (but are actually good apparently, if you have the money), extremely expensive scams, or have never heard of fibromyalgia and kick you out after 15 minutes.

[puppy-wife]

my fucking god damn god fucking shit insurance is the wrong plan for my PCP to be able to accept. so I can't get my prog. I can't do my labs for this month. I have to wait until fucking November to try again. I hate the american healthcare system, eat a dick and choke on it you fucking shit stain of a goddamn idea of a healthcare system. what a backwards fucking garbage dump, I hate it I hate it I hate it!!!!! God fucking fuck why is it so hard to see a goddamn doctor!!!!!! fuck!!!!!! im gonna fucking cry!!!!!!!!! FUCK

[inkskinned]

100,000 dollars is not a lot of money.

it is also a lot more money than i will ever have. my student loans make up half of that - they're coming back, i'm told, like we all bounced back recently. the other day while paying for gas to go to work, i overdrew my account without knowing it.

i sat in the car and looked at the charge and tried to do the math. where the fuck is the money even going? i don't live extravagantly. i live in a hole in the ground, in an apartment the size of a sneeze; covered in ants. yes, i wanted to live close to a population center. maybe that's my fault. i've downloaded the apps and i've spoken to the experts and i've cut back on excess. i can't help the pharmacy bills or the medical debt.

i have a good, well-paying job. when i googled it to see if i was getting a fair salary, i found out i'd be making "upper middle class" money. which doesn't make sense - is "upper middle class" now just "able to afford a one-bedroom without a roommate". when i was younger, upper-middle meant a nice big house and a backyard and vacations and not flinching about eating at a resturant.

i was talking to my friend who is a realtor. he said 100,000 dollars is extremely cheap for housing. he's not wrong. 100,000 dollars would change my life. 100,000 dollars also won't really buy you anything. it could get you out of debt, potentially, if you were lucky and had a certain amount of scholarships to tack onto your degree. you could pay off the car and then have enough left over for "spending" money. how fucking amazing. one vacation, maybe two if you're thrifty. and then - like magic - the money would evaporate into nothing. people would sigh and tell you see, you should have put it into savings! like "upper middle class" people can't afford to value "actually living" over squirrelling wealth. you should spend your life only in scarcity. like that is what made the rich people all their real "actually a lot of money".

100,000 dollars would literally set me free. it also would just set me back to "earning normally" instead of paying down debt into infinity. god, do you know how many of us just want that? that our first thought is we could stop scrambling and just be free of debt if we won the lottery? that we don't even necessarily need to stop working - we just wouldn't have to worry about failing or falling?

and. at the same time. 100,000 dollars is next to fucking nothing.

[idkmynameiskat]

The American healthcare system is such a fucking joke

[alectoperdita]

maybe i should try and see if i can get lasik

[giggly-argent]

Lee t/ng xu/n brainrot got me drawing* actual kink stuff for the first time in. ? ! (*drawing = hurriedly scribbling out the most sloppy lazy sketch before my grace period is up-)

slowly going back to my roots .. srry to the fluff/safe tk crowd but i like my men crying and begging lol 😌

Cutest hero monkey boy, not a bad bone in his body, sweet n pure soul = break him!! break him in half!!!!!

[basiatlu]

So today I turned another year older! Thank you to everyone that offered their well wishes and love I am so soft over it.

✨💖As a thank you for all of that as well as the support over the last 2 months since I started this crazy Harry Potter fandom adventure, I will gift 1 lucky person a custom made sticker sheet that will include a design for each Drawtober prompt! (So that’s 31 stickers!!!) very well may be 2 or 3 sheets honestly. High quality vinyl, weather resistant, full color, and great for water bottles.💖✨

A winner will be drawn tomorrow: Saturday October 14th, 7:07 PM PST.

Rules:

You must reblog this post with a tag describing your favorite drawing of mine (yes I’m being so self indulgent right now)

On an honor system, please only reblog this with one account you own. So one ‘ticket’ per person for the raffle

Likes do not count, neither do reblogs without the proper tag

If the random winner does not respond within 48 hrs of me choosing them, I will reshuffle for a new winner and message/tag them.

Reblogs after the cutoff time and date will not apply towards the raffle

Love you guys 💖 Please take this fun game as a way of showing you how grateful I am for making this one of the best birthdays I’ve had in a while.

***will ship anywhere with an actual address or P.O. Box