#patron saint of nope

[zacksfairest]

tagged by my most beloved @rorohara!!! thank you so much because i was DYING to do this lmao

challenge: make a poll with five of your all-time favorite characters, and then tag five people to do the same. see which character is everyone's favorite

@soartfullydone @editoress @sycamorre @serpenthyne @hanalghilan

[tortoisesshells]

#GOD OKAY. the fact that burke gives vicki the locket after laura's death is EVERYTHING to me.#burke — twin to jeremiah both physically and psychologically — giving it to vicki —#the stranger brought inside the collins family; much like josette.#(which. according to much much later dialogue laura *was* jeremiah's first wife before josette.#it's an old song. it's an old tale from way back when. and we're gonna sing it again and again and again.)#that vicki; by saving david's life; is preserving the collins line — providing the heir (literally; though not biologically)#david turns away from laura and chooses vicki; replacing laura as mother-figure permanently;#as he's granted new life after the fire; born again into vicki's arms; not laura's.#the new woman in the collins fold — after the previous wife has been defeated and fire has cleansed the memory (à la jane eyre; or rebecca)#positioning her naturally as roger's wife. the mother of his child. the inheritor of the collins bridal locket.#the locket that distinctly belongs to roger's wedding *night* — tied up fundamentally with sex & childbirth & the provision of heirs.#(fitting then that the madonna and child serves as the vicki-as-mother equivalent to the painting of laura: the virginal birth)#and yet! simultaneously! the cri du sang — david's blood calling out to burke's.#roger notably absent during the fire; unaware of david's danger; unable to help him. burke drawn to him when his life is at risk —#and the one who carries him home; over the threshold; at vicki's side. delivers her the locket from the ash.#of course she is drawn to him — david's symbolic mother; his biological father —#jeremiah & josette; the empire-builder and the lost and lonely bride.#and. the vampire-figure; the parasitic lover. meeting her at the cliffs; joking about her falling from them —#who can give josette belonging by bringing her to the family tomb. (tags via @widowshill)

the locket, motherhood, & marriage.

139 / 139 / 136 / 136 / 191 / 191 / 191 / 142 / 134 / 143 / 143 / 144 / 144 / 139 script / 144 / 280 / 144 / 144 / 192 / 279 / 279 / 279 / 279 / 143

[bonefall]

How did palefoot make it to Starclan, I thought you needed a proper burial in order to get a fetcher? Especially since his body was hidden. Did he just happen to get lucky and they found him before he got his spirit trapped in the dark forest?

Also, him then becoming the patron of finding bodies is a bit funny, like a car crash victim becoming the patron of surviving car crashes. Then again, you can't really complain about getting prayers I guess.

Nope, BB!Cats don't need a proper burial to get to StarClan! It's just extremely disrespectful from the living, and denies the family a chance to grieve since they can't sit vigil and share tongues with their loved one. It's a deeply malicious mortal action.

Also LMAO yeah Clan cats are brutal with their ironic patrons. They love it. It's exactly like how Catholic saints become the patrons of things related to their insane deaths or just straightup insults. Like Saint Elmo who is the patron of tummy aches because they gutted him like a fish. Or how Saint Drogo who was allegedly so ugly he is now the patron saint of the unattractive (and also coffee).

Quick dribble on Fetchers;

Their basics are covered over in StarClan 101

Fetchers can be anyone. They're usually a family member, or a guardian angel, but there's no hard rules with Forest Four.

SkyClan DOES have a hard rule; Cloudstar is the "Grim Reaper" for SkyClan, in what he feels is repentance for his time as the Rat Leader. He is their only Fetcher.

They have to come down and find your spirit. Some Fetchers are better at this-- just because they have a better sense of when death is near, or they were nearby, or they were fast, or you invoked them shortly before the death, etc.

It's possible to run away from your Fetcher if you want, or hide.

BUT, Dark Forest cats can ALSO Fetch you.

In the case of cursed bloodlines like the Appledusk Lineage, very strong fetchers are sent who can fight the rival demon effectively.

Flametail was immediately dragged down to the Dark Forest because of this. That wasn't an accident; they killed him and then kidnapped his soul.

RiverClan cats believe that if your Fetcher doesn't come for you, Ripwater will find you first and bring you to the Dark Forest.

You NEED a Fetcher to get to StarClan. If you are a spirit who looks for StarClan on your own, you will find the Meadow of Young Stars first, and then the Dark Forest.

When you die, you usually get "knocked out." Your Fetcher can bring you to StarClan while you're still asleep, making it seem like you "woke up in Silverpelt"

However it IS possible to die awake. You will suddenly not feel the pain of your injury. It's extremely alarming.

So, Palefoot was able to get to StarClan. It actually did take the Fetchers a while to find him though. He was killed and buried very quickly, and it took him a while to wake up and realize he'd been shoved in a bog. He didn't realize he was dead at first, he thought he'd just been beaten up and thrown in the mud.

He wasn't really taking it in that he was kinda numb, and in spite of being in the autumn bog for a while, he wasn't cold. It wasn't until he got back to the camp that he realized no one was responding to him, and then it hit him that he didn't need to breathe anymore.

(I like to keep the rules 'loose' for situations like that, lmao)

[societalenemynumberone]

The Deadpool and Wolverine movie came out. I beg of you to do more quotes on Deadpool Reader. Ill sell you my soul.

For the price of Anon's soul, I give you Deadpool Reader: Deadpool & Wolverine edition

. . .

Alastor: Mind putting your mask back on?

Reader: Super hard to eat while I'm wearing it.

Alastor: It's super hard to eat when you're not

. . .

Vaggie: [Waking up with a second eye patch] I wish fire would find your body and finish the job Sera was too afraid to do

Reader: If you could hear the look on my face, you'd smell how sad I am

. . .

[Lucifer changes into his demon form]

Reader: Holy shit. You save the good stuff for special occasions?

Lucifer: Killing, mostly.

. . .

Angel Dust: Wanna do some cocaine?

Reader: Hey! Cocaine is the one thing that Charlie said is off limits.

Angel Dust: What about Bolivian marching powder?

Reader: She knows all the slang terms. She made a list.

Angel Dust: Even snowboarding?

Reader: Even disco dust.

Angel Dust: White Girl, Interrupted?

Reader: Even Forrest Bump.

Angel Dust: Do you want to build a snowman?

Reader: Yes! But I can't!

. . .

Reader: [Mimicking Angel's New York (?) Accent] Good 'ay toots. There's nothing that'll bring me back to life faster than a big bag of cocaine.

. . .

Reader: [Alastor threatens Reader with his radio cane for the first time] Is that supposed to be scary? Pegging isn't new for me, friendo. But it is for A24.

. . .

Reader: Ohhh, I love the smell of sunflowers!

[sniffs a dead rose Niffty gave them]

. . .

Reader: [In that one scene where Angel was showing them one of his pornos] I'm soaking wet right now

. . .

Reader: [Preparing for war against the exorcists] This is what I'm talking about: big slow-motion action sequence, who knows if you live or die? Let's fuckin' go!

Angel Dust: Let's fuck and go!

. . .

Reader: [sees the Adam's army for the first time, the army they basically trained] OH MY FUCK!

. . .

Niffty: [After Reader used her as a human shield to get through active gang territory] I think I'm hit.

Husk: No shit.

[to Reader]

Husk: You did that on purpose.

Reader: I did no such thing!

[to Niffty]

Reader: Listen to me, gorgeous. How long does it take for you to regenerate?

Niffty: [slow blink] Regenerate?

. . .

Vaggie: One more word. Please. Give me one.

Reader: Gubernatorial

[Reader immediately gets punched]

Reader: Worth it

. . .

Reader: [Getting stabbed by Vaggie's spear for the first time] You nicked it. Just got the tip with your little steak knife!

. . .

[Reader's way of getting people to come to the hotel]

Random demon: You don't want any of this.

[Reader pulls out a pistol and points it at the demon's forehead]

Reader: Unless you want to take a deep breath through your fucking forehead, I suggest you reconsider

. . .

Reader: [Staring at Lucifer as he talks] You really are God's Perfect Idiot, aren't you?

. . .

Reader: Want to talk about what's haunting you, or should we wait for a third season for you to open up to me?

Husk: Ah, go fuck yourself!

. . .

Reader: [Receptionist of the hotel, talking to any newcomer] Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel. You're joining at a bit of a low point.

. . .

Reader: Don't just stand there, you ape. Give me a hand up.

[Vaggie draws her spear]

Reader: Nope, I'm actually okay, thank you very much!

. . .

Random demon: That's Charlie Morningstar.

Reader: You damn straight it is. Amazon bought her. They're gonna make her do this till she's dying.

. . .

Reader: [Walking out in a new outfit Lucifer got them] Yes, your underwear's getting tighter

. . .

[Reader falls on Husk]

Reader: What'cha thinking about?

Husk: Get the fuck off me.

Reader: Shh! Shh! Almost done...

Husk: Almost done what!?

Reader: Getting my knife out of your buttocks, you pervert! Get your mind out of my pants!

. . .

Bonus quote from the first movie:

Husk: Reader, patron saint of the pitiful. What can I do for you?

Reader: I'd love to get a Blow Job

Husk: Oh, God, me too.

Reader: The drink, moose knuckle, But first...

Husk: All right, Kahlua, Bailey's and whipped cream. I give you a Blow Job. Why do you make me make that?

Reader: *Stops Niffty passing by and places the drink on her tray* Be a dear and send this over to Bright Red And Creepy over there and tell him "Angel, baby" sends his love.

*Reader and Husk proceed to drink whiskey watch as Alastor tries to kill Angel dust while he hides behind Charlie for protection*

[spideyslag]

Despite earning his living through… legally and morally questionable means, Barnes is not actually a bad guy or a bad person. He’s just a normal guy with a job like anyone else.

That’s his explanation to himself when he finds the wallet.

Small, beat up thing, with a student ID in the front window which thank god has a New York State drivers license behind it, and a single bank card that looks like it’s seen war in one of the slots. There’s a library card which seems to belong to somewhere in queens, and an old photo.

Jesus fucking Christ.

He’s not a bad guy. He’s actually a good person. That’s what he says when he opens Facebook and types in Peter Parker and is oh so relived when he sees the first profile pop up looks just like the photo on the ID in his hand.

Hey there sorry did this is weird but I just found your wallet. Should I bring it to the address on ur license or is there somewhere better? He types out.

It takes not a minute for the kid to answer.

Because the damned kids these days

Oh my good you’re a lifesaver thank you so much. Is it weird if I ask where you found it? I don’t want you to go all the way to queens if you’re in Manhattan. If, by any chance you’re in the village right now I’m working at a coffee shop off WSP. If you’re in the area can you drop it with me there and I’ll give you a drink as a token of my appreciation? you’re a real lifesaver thank you so much I can’t say thank you enough.

Bucky is, in fact, not far. Found it in the 7/11 in union square. I’ll be right in

That makes sense I must have dropped it getting my pre class monster. You’re a Saint. Thank you so much again.

Bucky beat a man to death last night.

Unrelated.

Some college kid named Peter Parker called him a Saint.

Newly found sainthood. Saint James, patron saint of zip ties.

Bucky walks into the aforementioned coffee shop and sees him immediately. He’s remarkable to look at, maybe that’s half of why he was so invested in this little mitzvot of his. None of the other people working are half as worth watching as him.

He’s handsome. Young and healthy and handsome. But he’s also pretty. There’s no denying it.

He calls out “I’ll be with you in a minute!”, not looking up, as he manages to unjam an espresso machine and scribbles an order on a cup before handing it to someone else.

“H-“

He looks up and his breath hitches and stutters, cheeks dusting pink.

Then he’s fine again.

“Hi! what can I get you?”.

Bucky looks up and feels like the old fuck he is, not knowing half the vaguely Italian-esque words on the menu.

“… I can get like, a normal americano right?” He’s vaguely familiar with that one, curtesy of nat insisting ‘it’s just like, strong coffee’.

Peter laughs. “Of corse you can. Sorry, I know it’s dumb we don’t list our drip either. I would have a panic attack if I came in here as a customer. Is 2 shots okay?”

“Two shots is great. And if I could get a splash of cream”

“Of corse”.

“Thanks, peter.”

Confusion and regrettable anxiety etches Peter’s face as he pulls the wallet out of his coat pocket, and understanding and calm flashes in peters eyes.

“Oh! It’s you! Thank you so much oh my god. Bucky, right?”.

Bucky nods dumbly.

“Don’t thank me, it’s fine. Just doing the right thing”

“Can I get you something else? Do you want a cookie or something?”

“No it’s fine you’re already sweet enough with the coffee, sweetheart”

“Nope. You’re getting a s’mores cookie too. That’s that.”

Bucky chuckles as peter hands the scribbled on cup to another girl, stepping aside to keep talking as someone takes his spot taking orders.

“Thank you a million times really-“

“You’re welcome. Don’t worry about it”

“No you don’t understand, really”.

Peter opens the wallet, and bucky wants to chuckle because this kid doesn’t know him, sure, but he spends more than what this kid makes in a week in a day.

“I didn’t take-“

Words fall on his lips as he takes out a photo. an old one, lip wobbling.

He’s giving a valiant effort not to cry, not to show it, but it’s in vain.

“I was really really scared i lost this for good. You have no idea how much this means to me thank you.”

Peter looks in the wallet as he stores the photo back safely.

“Wait That’s not mine-“ he starts looking at the large bills in it.

“Sure it is”

“Sir-“

“Please god don’t call me that .you’re a college kid, right? God knows you need it and I have too much of it. Consider it your super lucky day”.

“I can’t-“

“Sure you can. Textbooks don’t buy themselves. Dont think too much about it. Really.”

When bucky gets his cup, he shouldn’t be surprised there’s a phone number on it.

[tanadrin]

One of the next saints to be canonized is Carlo Acutis, who built a website devoted to eucharistic miracles before he died in 2006, and is the patron of computer programmers, so yould think that the miracles attributed to him would be computer-based, right?

Nope! Remission.

Calling us the Vatican to be like, “Look, all my horny Skyrim mods were causing the game to crash. I prayed to St. Acutis, and now I can watch my wizard’s giant titties bounce in real time. I think this should count as one of his miracles.”

[cruelestpoetryever]

Fun fact about tumblrs supposed golden boy paul mccartney: he VOLUNTARILY ACCEPTED this coat of arms that signifies him as a member of the ORDER OF THE BRITISH EMPIRE. This is ALSO at a time when lot of other people were refusing these because of there association with the LITERAL BRITISH EMPIRE. This might be shocking because some people on tumblr like to pretend that he's an oh so perfect angel, but the truth is that even the PATRON SAINT of goth emo types on tumblr has skeletons in his own closet. But no. Let's all just ignore that and pretend that he's a gift from the heavens and this weeks punching bag Taylor Swift is literally the devil for JUST SIMPLY FLYING AN AIRPLANE. Plus not to mention PAUL MCCARTNEY IS ALSO A BILLIONAIRE AND LITERALLY A FAN OF TAYLOR SWIFT ANYWAY. But nope. He's perfect and Taylor is evil and has a cult. So say the official judge jury and executioners of the doc martin fan committee that this website has become.

[patron-saints]

going through my mentions for ask games and found another! this one was from @waitineedaname thank you!!

are you named after anyone? nope! my parents had kind of already decided to name me julianna when they saw julianna margulies in the credits of a movie but i think that really cemented it? don't think that counts tho

when was the last time you cried? Last Night!

do you have kids? my mom's cat, my roommate's cat, and my child-of-divorce (JOKE) partial custody cat

do you use sarcasm a lot? yeah a bit! mostly at work

what sports do you play? i kickbox once a week!

what’s the first thing you notice about people? sometimes fashion/hair/etc but sometimes just their face ig?

what’s your eye color? green! sometimes i think they look grey and my partner tells me sometimes they turn "gay" in color which. i think... is a brighter green? but that's. i can't verify it

scary movies or happy endings? happy endings for sure! i am a weenie. working on my horror tolerance but even w a scary movie i'd prefer if it the evil was defeated or w/e

any special talents? getting people into media! my url is patron-saints because my sister once called me "the patron saint of femslash" and now i call going around getting people into my ships "patron-sainting"

where were you born? southern california!

what are your hobbies? fanfic, cello, dnd, and so much tv

do you have pets? see above re: kids

how tall are you? 5'4"

favorite subject in school? english! also majored in it in college lol

dream job? IDEAL WORLD i am a famous author but realistic world a librarian! which is what i'm working on!

tagging: @portokali @rootintootincowboyshootin @existentialspacecowboy @littlewitchbee & @gellavonhamster

[dragonsandwolvesohmy]

Okay, I'm compiling fics in one place, because I know my memory and I will forget shit and end up on a three-hour search for things again and it's just... Lost fics will also be here for when I find them.

Note: these summaries are actually the little pieces that I remember them by, so... not terribly accurate. Be warned.

The one with Argicorps member Obi and the potato sprouts: Put your empty hands in mine by K_R_Closson.

The one with Jango meeting Obi during Melida/Daan and being the one that brings him into the Mandalorian world: Stewjoni Traits. by TessaVance.

The one where Cody and Senator Obi end up together and meet Nield and Cerasi from MeliDaan: A Heart's Revolution by thevalesofanduin.

The one where female Obi gets married to Jango after their both held captive and she hides things in her hair: The Mandalorian Entanglement by InvisibleSilence.

The one where there's bird people and Fem!Obi attracts the attention of the queen: The Path of Rain by sirladyknight.

The one where Stewjon people leave unwanted children at the edge of a forest:

The one with an SI/OC that goes 'Nope!' every time they see Krell: An Ocean of Paths and Links by Maginary.

The one where Obi was married to Jango, ran away but was brought back years later with Anakin: The Dragon King by Shelaar (JonathanAnubian).

The one with the flowers: The Brute Divine by catboydogma.

The one where Obi is a medic and still falls in love with Cody: We’ll Meet Again by little_dumpling.

The three with Jango and courting via knife sheath: Kal'Koora by MusicSoul1982. Sheath and Dagger by Llamaal. Mandalorian Courtship by Lyricalvillain.

The one where Galidraan goes differently and a Jedi helps Mandos find Jango in a spice freighter/The one where Jedi help a group of Mando children stuck in comas: Defying Expectations by Thunder_and_Tea.

The one where the clones get mass adopted by Mandalorians: You Could Be My Luck (Safe and Sound) by SkybreakPrime.

That one with Mandalorian Obi kicking ass and taking names with a pet strill: Strangers Like Me by K_R_Closson.

The one where time-traveling Obi calls Jaster to help with Melid/Daan: Who you are today (is not who you have to be tomorrow) by wildimaginingsofhalfbakedideas

The one where Krell was captured on Umbara and put in a cell for wanting to be a Sith: Just this once, captain, everyone lives.

The one with the Kasava fruit: patron saint by spqr.

The one where Jaster shows up in the halls of healing to see padawan Obi/The one where Obi saves Depa from a holocron: The Star (-17) by handdrawnisopach.

The one where Obi becomes padawan to a wookie and there's a holocron of his father: No Absolutes by Eff_Dragonkiller.

The one with the doors depicting battles: Unintended Consequences by sparkly_seagull. and The Slave's Gambit by bgyeetusthefetus.

Fics about Jedi braids and beads:

Where Obi gets beads from everyone who loves him: You Are Wanted Obi-Wan Kenobi by Allwalkfree

Where he's adopted into a family of librarians: The Librarian’s Padawan by Mithril_and_Acorns (Feemor!!!)

With the Beskar bread from Feemor: Of Crechemasters and Archivists and Outtakes by Mithril_and_Acorns

Defying Expectations has a part about beads too.

Guard Feemor fics: list

The one where fem!Obi-Wan goes back all sneaky like to a compound where she was held prisoner: Ner Mesh'la Cyar'ika by wearethewitches.

The one where Jaster goes 'I have your kid- oh, wait, no! fuck! I meant we found your baby Jedi!': Buir by SkybreakPrime.

The one with time traveling Obi painting his beskar 212 gold/orange: (and now I lay myself down) and hope I wake up young again by cjwritesfanficnow

The one with the fanfic writing clone: Clone Company Companion by therehavebeenworsenames.

The AU with the unintentional Jedi shrine and safe place: they're neutral by deniigiq.

The one where Obi-Wan adopts all the clones. It's Buir Obi-Wan: He Let the Bounty Hunter Go by Lemonsunset

The one with post-war clone happiness/establishing their lives: Post here.

The one where Obi-wan and Jaster steal Bacta Robin Hood-style, making it more affordable by printing the code to make it across the internet: The Gift by handdrawnisopach, SniperAnon (The_Big_Reveal).

That one with the cave in where Obi-Wan rescued padawans from the corps: To Be Free Once More (That's Worth Fighting For) by Batsutousai

That fic where Obi-Wan, Quinlan and Bruck get trapped in a mediation with Sifo-Dyas before Obi-Wan brings them out: The Temple by me_again.

The one where Young Obi-Wan is sold to a spice frieghter instead of the deep sea mines, meets Jango there and they become family: Mand'alor bal Kaysh Vod'ika (The Mand'alor and His Brother) by sometimes_i_right

The one where young Obi-wan and Quinlan have a force bond, and can feel baby Maul through the force, and call him 'brother in the dark': The Temple by me_again.

That one with dualsex Obi, who was previously with Quinlan who wasn't attracted to his 'feminine parts': When You Say Nothing, You Miss the Understanding by MusicSoul1982

When Plo Koon has both the knife and gift in his hands (metaphorically): A Mandalorian Guide on How To Save the Jedi in Just Three Easy Steps by miyaji_08

The one with the mouse droids who go after ankles: Mando'jekai jedi by Anonymous.

[queen-scribbles]

15 Questions for 15 (?) Friends

Tagged by @keldae

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?: Nope. Middle name was suggested by an aunt, but it's all just bc my parents like the sound/meaning

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?: Uhhhh... can't remember.

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?: Not of my own, but I love the kids I watch(ed)

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?: There was a very quickly failed attempted at basketball in middle school, and a single tennis lesson that "showed promise", but the place was too far away to make it a thing

DO YOU USE SARCASM?: Sarcasm? From me? What on earth would give you that idea? *quietly hides Patron Saint of Snark blog title*

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?: Clothes, especially anything that I can clock as geeky for a shared interest(I do in fact geek out when I see people wearing N7 hoodies in the grocery store, and I'm 99% sure one worker was wearing the CR TravelerCon hoodie)

WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOUR?: Green. (Supposedly, according to one definition I read, they count as heterochomic bc I have a light brown ring around my pupil then the rest is green, so since it's two colors... but to me heterochromia is each eye being a different color so Idk how much I believe that article)

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?: Happy endings ftw, I'm a total wuss when it comes to movies. No scary, please and thank you. I still look away for certain parts of The Mummy(1999)

ANY TALENTS?: Writing, unpicking knots, picking up (written) languages, recognizing actors/voices

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?: Pretty close to where I currently live

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?: Writing

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?: I have a Yorkie-poo(Imani) and then her mama(Callie) also lives in the house. She belongs half to my mom, half my sister, but I do most of the dog walking xD

HOW TALL ARE YOU?: 5'4"

FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?: History!

DREAM JOB?: What I do now, actually, nannying.

[crimsonwolf715]

The Suffering Angel’s Immortality

Part 7 of the Patron Saint of Hunters series

(Also, a big shout-out to @flatdaysandstaticnights on Ao3 for breezing through my Patron Saint of Hunters series and commenting on it.)

Cas and Emily are heading to one of Emily’s hunter friends so they can assist him with a case he’s working on. 

“How close are we to New York?” Cas asks. 

“About an hour,” Emily answers. 

“Alright.” 

“Cas, if we get pulled over, I need you to act really drunk and refuse to be cooperative. I won’t get away with you laying down in the back otherwise.” 

“Anything you’d like, Emmy. I just want to rest for a while.” 

“What does resting look like for you exactly since you don’t need sleep?” 

“I use a form of meditation to calm myself into a sleep-like state so I can rest my mind. I don’t physically need sleep, but due to not being able to get to Heaven to properly recharge, my mind needs to rest so I can properly function mentally.” 

“Well, you get some rest then.” 

“M’kay.” Cas meditates until he feels the car stop. “Is this where we’re meeting the hunter?” Cas asks. 

“Nope,” Emily answers. “Motel so we can put my stuff away and have a place to sleep.” 

“I’ll just stay here then.” 

“Sounds good. I’ll come back when I’m all set up.” He hears her getting out of the car. “You still okay?” 

“Mmhmm,” Cas hums, not opening his eyes. 

He hears the door shut, then opens his eyes to stare at the top of the car. He gives a silent prayer for something, anything to lessen the pain he feels. Something to bring him some peace. He spends the rest of the time thinking over the two cases that he’s helped Emily deal with in the week since leaving. Two magical items that definitely shouldn’t have been where they were and another out-of-sorts monster. 

Emily comes back and gets in. “My hunter friend’s name is Dareth. We’re meeting him by where he thinks the thing’s camped out.” 

“That’s efficient.” 

“Yeah. Wanna come sit up front now?” 

“Not really, but I will.” 

Cas transitions to the passengers’ seat and they go on their way. Dareth’s waiting for them in a neighborhood of apartment buildings. They get out and head over to him. Emily and Dareth hug, Cas standing to the side, feeling mildly uncomfortable. 

“Explain the case to us,” Emily says. 

“I’ve had four children show up dead, looking like the life had been drained out of them. I’ve been hunting this thing through two towns and she’s always managed to slip away. She’s using witchcraft to lengthen her lifespan. I have no idea how long it’s been going on, but I found her base and found out what she was doing by looking through her things. She had a notebook that dated back a hundred years, but there’s no way to know if that’s when she started,” Dareth explains. “I’ve lowered the options of where she could be and I’m taking the most likely, but that leaves two areas to look through.” 

“So we’re splitting up to cover more ground?” Cas asks. “Is that safe?” 

“It is if we contact each other frequently so we don’t have the option to worry about someone,” Dareth answers. “We’ll check in every ten minutes and meet back up here if we don’t find anything in our area. Contact if we do find anything.” 

“Alright,” Cas replies. 

Emily nods, so the three head to their respective areas to search for the witch. 

Cas starts checking around for anything that seems off, but he doesn’t find anything. After thirty-eight minutes of searching and consistent check-ins, a cold sensation washes over Cas. He pulls his phone out and tries to call Emily. It rings all the way through, then goes to voicemail. He tries again and when it rings all the way through again, he starts to panic. He tries listening for her, but he can’t hear anything. He can’t find her. He forces himself to stop panicking and breathe. 

There are other ways to track a person down. I can go back to her area and see if there’s anything that could point me to her.  

His phone dings, so he looks down at it. It’s a notification from Ben’s phone, letting Cas know that he’s going on a two hour trip and that he can track Ben’s location through the app. 

That’s it.  

Cas pulls the app up and finds Emily’s phone. It’s pinging from an apartment building not far from where he is. It would have been in her search area. He flies to the front door of the apartment and tries the knob. It’s locked, so he quietly picks the lock. When he opens the door he sees Emily strapped to a table, but she looks unharmed. He also sees the back of a woman, who’s singing a song that Cas feels like he vaguely recognizes, but doesn’t know from where. 

As he gets closer to her, a floorboard creaks. The woman turns and looks surprised. She has perfect features and her blush pink hair is flawless. 

“Who are you?” she asks, walking closer to Cas. They’re an inch apart by the time she stops getting closer. “You’re not a human, but you’re not a monster either. What are you?” 

“Nothing,” Cas answers. “A wander stuck in the inbetween.” 

She puts her hand on Cas’ face. 

“So much pain,” she whispers. “How do you live with that?” 

“Through willpower.” 

“Willpower? We both know that’s a lie. You’re guilty and done but you can’t die, can you?” 

“It’s not about can’t. It’s about that I won’t. I made a promise and I plan to keep it, no matter the cost.” 

“That is one strong promise for it to last all of eternity. Don’t you just want to join them?” 

“I can never. I’ve been banished.” 

“Banished?” Realization hits her. “You’re a fallen angel. You poor soul. Well, not literally. You can stay with me. I’ll take your pain away and we can be happy. I’ve been alone for so long.” 

The two kiss for a moment before Cas stabs her with his angel blade. She backs away, holding the wound. 

“Why would you do that?” she asks. 

“Joining you isn’t in the cards for me. You kill children to keep your immortality and I refuse to continue to let you do that. The pain, it’s part of me now. I’d be empty without it, so I think I’ll keep it.” 

She screams as she withers away. Cas goes over to Emily and starts unstrapping her from the table. Cas notices a marking on Emily’s wrist at the edge of her sleeve that seems familiar, but he ignores it for the moment. Emily blinks her eyes open, then throws a kick at Cas’ head. 

Cas dodges it, “It’s me, knock it off.” 

“Cas?” she asks. 

“Yes, did she hurt you?” Cas asks. 

“Due to my symptoms, I’m pretty sure she took a decent amount of blood.” 

Cas picks her up, which she flails a hand out at him. He moves his head so her hand doesn’t hit him. “Really?” 

“Warn me,” she breathes, “I can’t see properly.” 

After gathering Emily’s things, he takes her back to the motel. She insists on walking, Cas assisting her, into the motel room. 

“I’m going to fly to the hospital and grab blood. What’s your type?” 

“AB.” 

Cas flies to the nearest hospital, grabs the blood, then flies back. She’s pulled her sweater off to reveal a sleeveless shirt and her arms covered in the markings. Thick lines of what looks like tree roots with symbols inside of them. Cas sets up the blood transfers. 

“These markings. How did you get them?” 

“They started showing up after I figured out that I couldn’t die,” Emily answers. “Why?” 

“I recognize these markings from somewhere, but I can’t remember where right now,” Cas says. “I’m going to go and get the book I think I saw it in.” 

Cas flies to Ben’s basement where all of Bobby’s old books are kept. He searches and once he finds it, he flies back to Emily. He flips to the page, then shows it to her. 

“I can’t read that,” Emily says. 

“I’m perfectly aware of that,” Cas replies, “but look at the symbols. They match the markings perfectly.” 

“I guess. What are they for?” 

“This says that it’s a blessing given to people a long time ago to help them live longer. With that logic, you won’t live forever.” 

“But still longer than I want to.” 

Cas nods. “I’m really sorry, but there isn’t a way to reverse this. You’ll have to let it run its course.” 

“Sounds like exactly what I was going to do before. Thanks, Cas.” 

“You’re welcome. Once you’ve rested up, we’ll head back to Ben’s to properly regroup and get my things.” 

“Sounds like a plan, tough guy.” 

“I’m going to look through the woman’s things to see if there’s anything that we should take for safekeeping. You contact the hunter to let him know that she’s dead and where to find her stuff if there’s anything that he wants.” 

Cas flies back to the apartment and starts looking around. While plenty of things are absolutely useless without an understanding of magic or voodoo/hoodoo, there was one thing that stuck out to him. Cas grabs the odd looking handheld-radio that radiates with angelic energy. He pockets it and after further searching, decides that the rest can be left up to the cops or Dareth. He flies back to Emily. When Cas comes back, Emily’s standing up. 

“Let’s go,” she says. 

“Are you sure?” Cas asks. 

“Yep, I’m sure. I’ve gotten all the blood and I’m ready to go.” 

“Okay.” 

Cas flies Emily to Ben’s house. She sways, but doesn’t fall. 

“Are you alright?” Cas asks. 

“I’m fine, just give me a minute before we go inside,” Emily answers. 

Cas nods, then goes to take a little walk to pass the time. The sounds of an engine grab Cas’ attention. Someone in a suit is walking towards the house. He gets up and meets the guy right before he reaches the porch. 

“Do you need something?” Cas asks. 

“I’m lost,” the guy answers. “I’m looking for a Bobby Singer that’s supposed to live in this area.” 

Cas’ chest tightens slightly. “Bobby’s been dead. This was his house though.” 

“Oh.” He digs into his pocket and pulls out an envelope. “Well, I guess this is for you then.” 

He offers it to Cas and Cas takes it reluctantly. “I have to get back on the road now. Lots to deliver before noon.” He heads back to his car and drives off. 

“Come on, Cas!” Emily calls. 

He walks over to her car and grabs her bags. 

“That is not what I meant.” 

“You’re still not feeling great, so I’ll get your bags,” Cas says. 

They go up to the porch and Emily opens the door so Cas doesn’t have to put anything down. They walk in and Ben’s pacing the living room on his phone. 

“No, just tell me whether you’ve heard from him. It isn’t rocket science,” Ben fumes. 

“Did Neal bail?” Cas asks. 

Ben turns, “Nevermind. He showed up and I’m about to kill him. I’ll call you back.” 

Ben hangs up and throws his phone on the table, then folds his arms. 

“Emmy, why don’t you go set up in the room I told you about?” Cas asks. 

Emily nods then takes her backpack upstairs, the only piece of luggage that Cas would relinquish. 

“You just vanished for a week. Do you have any idea what kind of stress you put me under? You haven’t disappeared without your things in fifteen years. You swore you’d stop. You better explain exactly what is going on to me right now or so help me I will stab you.” 

“I can understand that you’re angry.” 

“So much more than that.” 

“I’m sorry. I… I thought that you wanted your perfect family, which is why I left.” 

“What does that mean?” It takes a moment for Ben to realize what Cas is implying. “Cas, we would never want you gone. Yes, I’m thrilled that Neal’s doing better but I brag about how well you’re doing too. You’ve been one of my best friends for twenty years. It doesn’t matter what comes up in my kids’ lives, I will never want you to vanish forever. You’re not ruining our family dynamic, you’re the reason we have one at all.” 

Cas looks everywhere but Ben’s face. Ben waves his hand and Cas looks at his face. 

“Cas, I���m serious. You’ve been the most constant friend I’ve ever had. There’s a reason my kids call you their uncle, it’s not just out of courtesy. You’re my family too. I’m sorry if it felt like I was pushing you away, I would never do that. I… I know what you’ve been through.” 

Cas nods, “My emotions were clouding my judgement. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so sensitive, maybe I should have been. But I also know that you’re trying to readjust to this the same as me. I… I realized that I wasn’t being fair to you with everything that’s going on and I’m asking for forgiveness.” 

Ben smiles. “Of course I forgive you. I’m sorry too. Can we just agree for this not to happen again?” 

“It won’t happen again. It is fine that Emmy’s staying, right?” 

Ben nods. “Neal and the kids will be back soon, so tell her to keep her cussing to a minimum.” 

“I will.” 

Ben walks into the kitchen, so Cas sits down on the couch. He hears a bark and then Vanitas jumps on him. 

“Hey, buddy,” Cas says quietly. “Sorry I left for so long.” 

Vanitas settles down in his lap so he pulls the envelope out of his pocket and opens it. There’s three pieces of paper inside, so Cas grabs the first one. 

Hey Cas, it’s Dean. 

Cas stops dead in his tracks. The handwriting matches Dean’s, but Cas can’t believe it. 

I heard a little about what’s been going on with you since I left, and I have to say that I’m proud of you. I know that I normally leave the chick-flick stuff to Sam, but you did a really good thing looking after Bobby. Helping all those hunters in our honor was nice too. I also heard that you’re still grieving us. Cas, we always knew that we weren’t gonna have a long time together. 

We’ll always cherish the memories we got to make together, but you need to make peace with everything. We did what we did so that the rest of the world would be safe, that includes you. Don’t work yourself too hard, you’ve got all of eternity to work. I never got to tell you, but thanks for everything Cas. Thank you for coming into our lives and making it better, right along with helping us. So take care of yourself and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. 

Cas folds the letter back up and puts it back in the envelope, not sure whether to cry or not. 

“You okay, Cas?” Ben asks. 

Cas looks up, “Yes, I’m fine. Did I stare off?” 

“No, you just don’t look right. It’s worrying.” 

“I’m fine, Ben. I was just… thinking. A dangerous pastime, I know.” 

“Who told you that?” 

“Nobody,” Cas answers with a frown. 

He grabs the next piece of paper and braces himself. He opens it up with a deep breath. 

Hey Cas. I know you’re gonna know it’s me from the handwriting, but it’s Sam. This angel told us what you’ve been up to, so thanks for looking after Bobby. Dean’s probably gonna want me to have some kind of touching moment, but I really don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry that you have to go through all of this. I was really hoping that Heaven would take you back after you helped us save everyone. 

I’m really sorry that you have to be alone now. You’re in our thoughts all the time, I hope you know that. We miss you a lot, Cas. I hope that you’re able to find some sort of peace with the people around you. I know how hard it is trying to cope with the loss of people close to you, so don’t isolate yourself. Find some people and stick with them. 

Cas grabs the last piece, almost positive the last one is going to be from Bobby, and he doesn’t know he’ll handle it. Two ways it could go, and one’s gonna make him cry. 

Hey, kid. This scruffy looking angel came and told me a bit about what’s been going on since I left ya. It sounds a lot like you’re doing exactly what I told you not to do. I love you like one of my own, and I need you to get your act together. Drinking alone all the time? That’s not gonna make you feel better about everything that happened. Take it from someone who knows first hand. So get off your ass and make a life for yourself. 

Things are gonna change, but things are constantly changing and I taught you better than to bury your head in the sand about it. Hopefully I’ll be able to write more of these, but if I’m not, you better listen to this one. I’m sorry that you’re stuck there, but make the best of it however you can. No more moping around, ya hear? I love you, kid. Take care.  

“Cas?” 

Cas looks up. 

“Are you crying?” Ben asks, walking over. 

“I am,” Cas answers after taking stock of the tears. 

“What happened? I’ve never seen you cry before.” 

“And you probably won’t see it again. I have to go outside to compose myself for a minute, but I’ll explain when I come back in.” 

Cas gets up and walks out to the porch. He sits on the porch swing and cries. He can’t understand how this could be possible, but it still makes him feel better. He’s glad that they still care, just a little sad that they have to live without him. He finally forces himself to pull himself together. 

“Thank you, guys,” he whispers. “I’ll do what you asked me to.” 

Perfect timing, Neal and the girls get back. They scream and run to Cas, who embraces them when they get to him. 

“Hey, Uncle Cas,” Neal says. 

“Hello, Neal,” Cas replies. 

The girls rush inside screaming to Ben that Cas is back. 

“You alright?” Neal asks. 

“I’m fine, I just needed some space. How about you?” 

“I feel like shit, but at least the girls are happy.” 

Cas laughs, then the two head inside. Ben’s trying to get the girls to quit being so loud, unsuccessfully. Between Neal and Ben, they finally manage to quiet the girls down after ten minutes of running around and absolutely not listening. Vanitas, who was on the couch when they got in there, has opted to hide under the table. The rest of the day goes by uneventfully and when Cas settles on the couch for meditation, his family’s on his mind. 

Not just Bobby, Dean, and Sam. All of them, and how much he’s grown to care for them.

Dean walks into a room with a cake stand with a metal lid on it and sets it down on the table. Sam and a blond boy are sitting at the table, both looking a little confused. 

“Tada!” Dean exclaims as he pulls the lid off of the cake stand to reveal an awful looking birthday cake. “I made it myself. Obviously. It’s not like Mrs. Butters makes it but…” 

“It’s great,” the boy says quietly, with a smile that brings Cas a sense of peace. 

“Happy birthday, Jack,” Dean says. 

“Make a wish,” Sam insists. 

The scene changes to a hallway that Cas doesn’t recognize. He walks to a room to see Jack eating cereal. Cas turns the lights on and Jack looks like a deer in headlights. 

“Don’t tell Sam,” Jack says. 

“Jack, it’s the middle of the night,” Cas says. 

“I know. I couldn’t wait until breakfast. Sam says this stuff will rot your teeth, but I like it.” 

Cas sits down with Jack. “Jack, if you can’t sleep, that's understandable given recent events.” 

The scene gets distorted and once it’s back, Jack’s smiling while Cas is eating a handful of cereal. 

“Did you take the decoder ring out of the box?” Jack asks. 

“Maybe,” Cas answers, “The secret password is cookietacular.” 

Cas puts a finger to his lips as he gets another handful of cereal. Jack goes back to eating his cereal.

[marceltheshellwithflipflopson]

20 questions for fic writers

thanks for the tag @becomethesun <3<3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

11!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

allegedly 46,015, but 5,569 of those words were technically written by @freetobeyouandmichi-me in our shared au! (love ya)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

the last of us

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. cold is the water

2. buckets of rain / shelter from the storm

3. you love me so hard and i still can't sleep

4. matchbox

5. patron saints

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

YES when @toointojoelmiller said ao3 comments were better than drugs she was RIGHT! but fr they make me giddy every time, even if it's just a singular emoji or a bunch of exclamation points

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

maybe creature fear? just because it's so early days joel and ellie, so there's no warm and fuzzies to be had anywhere. wouldn't say it's angsty though

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i'm kind of incapable of writing a sad ending, so it's a three way tie between my fluffiest children (1) buckets of rain / shelter from the storm, (2) mountain high, valley low, river wide, and (3) fisherman hats and carpet stains

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not YET thank GOD

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i do not

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i haven't but i have a prospect x tlou crossover in the earliest of early stages

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don't think so?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

kinda yes! michi wrote Roll for Halloween Hijacks for our modern au and was kind enough to name me as co-author

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

i'm lame and most of my ships are just the ones that are already canon :/ but if i had to pick a wild card, i was oddly obsessed with peter parker/harley keener back in the marvel heyday

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i really don't want to speak this into existence, but literally any of my ideas for longfics

16. What are your writing strengths?

fluff, dialogue, authentic characters

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

underwriting, writing consistently, whump/angst

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i do not think i would be any good at this

19. First fandom you wrote for?

should i lay bare all the skeletons in my closet rn? on a tumblr that i deleted over a decade ago, i wrote a few random one-shots of fred weasley/reader, george weasley/reader, remus lupin/reader, sirius black/reader, (brace yourselves) dan howell/reader, and phil lester/reader ... what the fuck i even shipped phan so idk why i did this

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

this is a hard question but i think my home (far away). it challenged me and took me out of my comfort zone but at the same time it was some of the most fun i've ever had writing

no pressure tags! @lkay-09 @two-birds-alone-together @boopernatural (also sorry, you were probably already tagged bc of our braincell hivemind lol)

[waitineedaname]

tagged by @daychiie thank you!!

are you named after anyone? nope! i mean, i stole the name Solanum from the Outer Wilds character, but other than that not really

when was the last time you cried? uhh within a week, I'm not sure. it was because I read an untamed fic that made me very emotional lol

do you have kids? LIKE HUMAN CHILDREN?? GOD NO. im baby (is 23)

do you use sarcasm a lot? uhh not overly so, but a little bit! I would say I'm a normal level of sarcastic lmao

what sports do you play? none <3 I am not athletic in the slightest. I have started doing pilates twice a week though at the suggestion of my physiotherapist, and I do like that! it's nice having a form of exercise that I actually find myself enjoying

what’s the first thing you notice about people? gosh I'm not sure. usually fashion style/vibes I guess! for people irl at least. online, it's usually typing/texting style!

what’s your eye color? very blue! I am the blue eyed people meme

scary movies or happy endings? happy endings I think! I mean sometimes I'll watch a tragedy, but I generally prefer some optimism

any special talents? I am p good at identifying random plants and birds lol I'm not an expert, but I just absorbed a lot of random info from my mom about it, and it sometimes impresses friends. I'm also hypermobile so I guess my other special talent is being able to fold into strange pretzels

where were you born? wouldn't you like to know weather boy (Southern USA)

what are your hobbies? video games!!! and writing silly little fanfictions

do you have pets? not where I live now, but my parents have cats and I count them!! their names are Huginn and Muninn and they're a bonded pair of black cats and I love them

how tall are you? 5'0......... I am so fucking smalled

favorite subject in school? English or History! history was what I was best at, but English is what I enjoyed the most. I like them both

dream job? I wanna do sociolinguistics research.... please let me do sociolinguistics research......... wah.................

I'll tag @patron-saints and @asthecrowrambles if you wanna do it!

[marvelousmiss-marvel]

I am 100% a shrunken bald hologram. Definitely not light brown hair and hazel eyes. Nope. 100/10 I am the Doctor

@local-frog-dealer @patron-saint-of-cemetary-pigeons @geekgirl531

If you have a real life person as your pfp, I don't care if it's Taylor Swift or something, my subconscious will assume you look like that irl. Sometimes my subconscious even assumes that I look like my pfp irl. And if your pfp is not a real life person... Tbh my subconscious still assumes you look like that irl.

You know what, tag yourself... How close in appearance do you think you are to your pfp? Interpret how you will

[friendlycursedspaceotter]

my parents: "give your things homes and keep them there!" me at age 4: "no! they don't want homes!" my parents: "then make them have homes." me, age 4: "..." me, many years later after losing my glasses: "so actually my items don't actually believe in me or my ownership of them and also think that society is immoral, and that ownership of property is a societal construct and therefore immoral, so they are nomadic and cannot be given homes. the only reason that they're in general vicinities is because they don't have a wide habitat range and naturally congregate together. but some things, like my wallet, glasses, keys, and phone, have the power to jump around and between dimensions, so they could be anywhere. oh, my glasses? yeah, they vanished into the void again, which is their culture's form of death. sometimes they can be summoned back into this plane of existence, but it often requires divine intervention and the aid of at least three saints, some of whom are really upset at having to get them back again and just want to teach me a lesson. is there a godless ritual? yeah, but I'm not going there. yes, my patrons Atomoxatine, Lexapro, and Guanfacine help sometimes, but I haven't ingested their tablets of aid for several days and they cannot take effect. also, the small wizard Upper Respiratory Virus has cursed me in this process. I believe the only thing that can bring my glasses back is the Ritual of Habitat Relocation, and that is due to take place in six months' time." also me: "... country roads, take them home, to the place, they belooong, my face, on top my nose, take them home, country roads" my parents: "so you haven't found my glasses?" me: "nope." my parents: "this wouldn't happen if--" me: "we've been over this." my parents: "here's a credit card. buy contact lenses. and maybe new glasses." 2 days later, after my parents stop asking: me: "listen to the words this night. the speaker of them knows the secrets. return from where you have gone, and be lavished upon your return. glasses case, cleaning cloth, cleaning spray, jasmine, jasmine, cleaning spray, cleaning cloth, glasses case."

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Chill Factor (1993)

The Chill Factor is Evil Dead but on snowmobiles and 200 times lamer than that sounds. This film has no sense of humor about itself. That might be ok if it delivered the horror or the gore but it doesn’t. The most interesting thing about this movie is that it’s told in flashbacks. The events take place in the then-futuristic year 2000 (or maybe it’s 1999, they say it’s on the edge of the new millennium) and the person recounting the events is doing so thirty years later, which means it’s all set in the year 2030. Not that interesting? Neither is the rest of the movie.

Tom (Aaron Kjenaas), his fiancée Jeannie (Dawn Laurrie), younger sister Karen (Connie Snyder), her boyfriend Chris (David Fields), and their friends Ron (Jim Cagle) and Lissa (Eve Montgomery) are having a winter snowmobile vacation when Tom crashes into a tree. Severely injured, his friends bring him to the closest shelter, the abandoned Camp Saint Dominic. Inside, they discover a makeshift Ouija board-like device. After playing with it, they experience supernatural events.

The Chill Factor lasts 85 minutes and it feels like an eternity before anything substantial happens. First, we have to sit through performances from bar patrons so dreadful they sound like robots reading a script for the first time. Then, we have to wait for the ample footage of people on snowmobiles to end. Finally, the future victims - whom you’ll have trouble telling apart despite the ample clumsy exposition telling you over and over who’s who and why they matter to each other - make it to the cabin - I mean camp. Then, these idiots find the Ouija board thing: a big disc with a spinning arrow and eyeball in the middle. Hmm. Weird. You’d think an abandoned religious summer camp everyone stays you should avoid wouldn’t have that sort of thing just lying around. I guess the councilors didn’t bother to pack it up when they left in a hurry all those years ago. Nope, nothing shady going on here! Let’s play with it despite Jeannie’s reservations! When bad things happen, it’s not unfortunate; it’s just the inevitable coming true.

Produced and directed by Christopher Webster, The Chill Factor begins with a flashforward to Tom’s accident. Remember, the whole story is told in flashbacks. Anyone could tell you what’s wrong with that decision. For a long time, I thought the accident was a traumatic memory replaying in Jeannie's head; the reason why she’s so apprehensive about all the foolishness the boys want to do out in the cold. No. It’s just bad editing. Actually, it was most likely an attempt by editor Amy Summer to get the audience interested in what's happening. It's an eternity before anything engaging actually takes place.

If you have any puns about snow or snowmobiles you’ll have every opportunity to use them and there are a couple of rather unintentionally hilarious deaths. I’m not sure which is funnier, the one where the ceiling fan somehow manages to cut the person who clearly isn’t standing anywhere near it, the accidental hanging, or the killer icicle. The ending is good for some laughs as well. It involves an innocent bystander and they would have a hell of a story to tell the next day. Then, the picture just sort of ends on a “huh?” note that doesn’t make any sense. It’s supposed to be all spooky in a “but… the coach driver drowned fifteen years ago!” note but merely raises more questions.

There might actually be some value in The Chill Factor. I watched it on my own and detested it but with some friends and a couple of drinks? It could be a blast. I'm not sure if I'm curious enough to try, however. (June 2, 2022)