#party banter spoilers

[juneiper-art]

having finished the game i can confidently say this is my favorite voice acting in all of it

[ellie-writes-games]

DATV Banter: Spite Wants To Set A Flame (Bellara's Other Book)

Lucanis (and by extension, Spite) have been helping Bellara with her romance novel. Flowery language and smut metaphors lead Spite to some surprising conclusions.

As someone on the autism spectrum, I remember struggling with interpreting metaphor as a young person A LOT. As soon as it was introduced in Veilguard that Bellara was writing some smutty fanfiction, the first thoughts I had were "Oh, the neurospicy gang is gonna struggle." (Mainly Taash and Spite.) Part of an on-going series of fan-writings.

***This is some fanfiction/fanart from an elder millennial (me) who is stuck in Thedas. These are NOT actual screenshots from the game.

[viennacherries]

"wtf are u guys yapping about?" - rook, probably

[soupandsorcery]

Viago: Nicolò!

Nico: What—Viago?? What are you doing here?

Viago: What do you mean what am I doing here? You were gone, you idiot! You were—

Nico: And...now we're hugging. Okay. Do we do that?

Viago: Shut up.

Nico: I'm guessing you missed me then.

Viago: Of course I missed you. You are my brother. My family.

Nico: Oh. Guess all I had do to was get locked in the Fade for a few weeks for you to finally admit you love me, huh?

Viago: Don't do that. Not now.

Nico: Sorry. For the record? I missed you too.

____________________________________

Nico: So. How many of my team did you yell at when you found out I was gone?

Viago: I did not yell.

Nico: Uh huh.

Viago: I didn't!

Nico: Sure. You're a very measured and well-regulated person. Everyone says so.

Viago: ...it was just Lucanis.

Viago: And I apologized afterwards.

____________________________________

Nico: How many people did Teia yell at?

Viago: Oh, everyone.

Viago: But that was almost entirely because we wouldn't let her storm into Minrathous alone to slit the Dread Wolf's throat for what he did to you.

Nico: This is why she's my favorite Talon.

Lucanis: This is why she is everyone's favorite Talon.

[dalishious]

WHAT

[iicaru2]

so you know how when redeemed durge rejects bhaal withers shows up and basically tells their dad to fuck off because thats his kid now. i have a lot of thoughts about the dark urge and all of them are emotionally devastating but anyway. do you guys think astarion saw that and felt some horrible kind of numb, resigned jealousy because years ago he desperately prayed to every one of the gods to free him from cazador and got no answer— then this bhaalspawn haunted by the narrative turns up and Fucking Jergal intervenes just to save their life and flips both ao and bhaal the bird at the same time. because ive been thinking about that ever since my durge run and i need to inflict that pain on everybody else now.

[here-comes-troubelyan]

this interaction is gold

[kennycrows]

[orangechickenpillow]

Wyll is the one who starts it. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about it since Karlach visited her parents' grave -- replaying her words over and over in his head, feeling them in his heart. One night it gets too much, the thinking, so he just does it. Karlach gets up from the fire, giving her usual cheery "good night" to everyone, giving her nightly hug to someone. It changes every night, but this time it's Tav. And she gets her usual mismatched chorus of replies from whoever's left around the fire. Sometimes it's only Lae'zel and Astarion who are still up, so she only gets a grunt and a "Yes, good night then." Sometimes it's a "Sweet dreams" from Gale or a vague "Night" from Shadowheart as she waves her away. Tonight, the chorus consists of notes sung by most of them, as they're all still up. And Wyll says it.

"Night, Karlach. Taters."

The woman stops, a smile frozen on her face even as her eyes express something else entirely a moment before tears start to well.

"Oh dear," Astarion hums from where he's lounged back like a cat, and the mild, uninterested concern seems to be more for the rest of them than Karlach herself. Karlach, whose face has begun to smoke as a few tears evaporate on her cheek. But they're gone just as quickly as they were there, and then she's making a noise that usually means someone is about to get crushed in a hug, or kissed, or both.

"I... I haven't heard that in-- ages," she chokes, reaching for Wyll -- hesitating for just a moment (she's come to understand that it's usually better to ask before touching someone -- a lesson learned quickly thanks to some of her more guarded companions) -- before grabbing the front of his nighrshirt and tugging him into a fierce, warm hug. His wine spills and he nearly drops the glass moving it out of the way so it doesn't get crushed between them. Shadowheart, sitting next to him, takes it on instinct, and then Wyll is hugging Karlach back (almost) just as hard.

"Awwwe, Wyll." She leanes back, a few more tears swimming in her firey eyes. Then she tilts her head down to bump their horns together. "Taters," she murmurs, cupping his face in her hand. Wyll feels warm and knows it's all the love coming off of his companion. All the love that's stored in a single word that doesn't really make sense, but means so much.

"Well," a familiar haughty voice pipes up. "Wasn't that just sickeningly adorable."

Astarion gets a light smack to either of his shoulders -- one by Gale and the other by Tav, who is watching the whole affair with some tears in their own eyes and a smile on their face.

Yes, Wyll is the one who starts it, but he's not the only one who does it. Much like Karlach's "good night"s and her doled out affection, taters becomes a thing, and her "good night"s often accompany the expression of love. And the chorus of replies occasionally include it, too. Hers and Tav's nightly parting involve whispered "Taters" to one another. Wyll continues to use it, earning him many a gentle headbutt from the woman. She even gets a sighr and a reluctant "Fine. Taters, Karlach" from Shadowheart, who tries to hide her smile at the firey woman's excited squeals -- the excitement barely contained within her body.

Some of her conpanions are more giving with the word than others.

"I don't understand," Lae'zel says one night, taking a rare break from sharpening her sword to join them by the fire. "This... 'taters'... it makes no sense."

"It just means 'I love you,'" Karlach replies, shifting enough to knock her boot against Astarion's. He's lounging between her legs, arm propped up on one of her bent knees.

"Chk! Love. It's bad enough that there is one word for it, let alone as one as foolish as 'taters.'"

"I think it's delightful," Gale announces swirling some wine in the glass that Wyll lent him.

"You would, wouldn't you," Astarion snorts airily. Karlach bounces her knee -- the one Astarion isn't leaning on -- a sure sign that she was stopping herself from hugging him.

"Yes, well," Gale continues. "Some of us enjoy feeling emotions like love and pleasantness."

"I enjoy feeling emotions. Carnal lust, animalistic pleasure, the glee of driving a knife into someone's throat, among other things." Astarion lists them out on his fingers.

"You walked into that one, my friend," Wyll says with a smirk, crossing his legs -- crossing one of his ankles over Gale's shin.

"Love is not something I've often considered," Astarion suddenly says, sounding like he's talking to himself. "Lust, of course. On rare occasions, I've even liked a few wretched souls, but love... Thats.... well--" He falters a little, tsks, and then lifts his chin. "It's new."

Karlach is practically vibrating now. Astarion opens his mouth, eyes narrowing-- and then he rolls them and says "Gods, you might as well do it or our little bonfire isn't going to be the only thing lit ablaze" and it's permission enough for Karlach to shoot forward and wrap her arms around him.

"Astarion," she draws out his name, her voice pitched higher with excitement and emotion until it's almost bursting. She hooks her chin over his shoulder and nuzzles into him. "Taters," she whispers.

From across the fire, Tav notices the briefest moment of vulnerability flash across his face. It's raw, and Tav can see it's heavy, but his eyebrows knit in a way that suggests it's not exactly unwelcome. But then it's gone, and their usual Astarion returns.

"I am not saying it back," he says with the air of one brushing off the front of their tunic. Which he would have done if Karlach wasn't still hugging him.

"That's probably for the best, fancy boy, 'cause if you did, I'd have to kiss your pointy face."

"Watch out, fire girl. Remember, I bite," he threatens, a dark smile on his face -- feeling much more comfortable with this kind of affection. Maybe it was his taters.

Because taters isn't just about taters. It isn't just a word to say "I love you," it's a way to show you care.

"I still find it strange and... repulsive," Lae'zel bordely comments.

Astarion clicks his tounge, rolling his eyes once again. "It's like how you feel about that damned sword, gith."

"Ah," Lae'zel nods. Rising to her feet, she holds the hilt of her sword up in gesture. "My sword offers much better company," she says, then without further comment, heads off toward her sharpening stone. Everyone around the fire groans.

"Now you've done it," Gale mutters.

"Me? I haven't done a damn thing. She was going to do it anyway," Astarion leans forward, propping an elbow on Karlach's knee to better point an accusatory finger at the wizard. Karlach is grinning like an idiot.

"Taters, Lae," she calls to the retreating githyanki.

Lae'zel stops, and for a moment, nothing happens. And then she turns around, an expression that could have almost been confusion on her stony face.

"Yes, I suppose that--" she pauses, her voice no less coarse than usual, but perhaps there's a bit of thoughtfulness in it -- like how one might consider a strange corpse to see if it held anything valuable. "...Taters."

It's nothing more than a word, and it's nothing more than Lae'zel trying it out, but Karlach's face is doing that thing again and Astarion can feel it a second before it happens -- too late to do anything but mutter a "Shit-- Gale!" as if the wizard could do anything to save him from Karlach throwing her arms around his middle and squeezing him like a giant teddy bear. A very pointy teddy bear.

"Did you hear that, oh my gods," she cries, burrowing into Astarion's shoulder. His limbs flail and his legs nearly smack her horns as she shakes him like a dog with a chew toy.

"Kuh--" his arms fly up. Gale is laughing. Wyll is laughing. Astarion swears he'll kill them both. "Karlach, please--"

"Oh right," she says, and at least she stops shaking him. "I always forget you're all tiny and breakable."

"I beg your pardon."

"I mean, she's not wrong," Wyll says from behind his glass of wine, and Gale whistles low.

"This is your fault," Astarion turns his pointy finger to Wyll. "If it weren't for you, none of this would be happening and we could go back to being perfectly cold, untrusting strangers with a common goal."

"I don't know, Astarion, I think you like it here with us."

The vampire straightens up and lifts his chin. "Don't think too hard, darling, your horns might fall off."

"Ha!" Karlach laughs. She's still got her arms wrapped around the smaller man's waist, but they're hanging loosely now. No one mentions how Astarion has rested his forearms over her's. "That's how I lost mine," she jokes, tilting her head in gesture to her broken horn.

"And no one's surprised," the vampire nods knowingly, giving her hand a pat.

Suddenly, the grind and scream of steel against stone fills the night.

Everyone groans.

"That's it," Gale says, rising to his feet. "I'm going to hit the sack. Preferably hard enough to knock me out so I might get some actual rest. Good night, everyone," he nods. "Taters."

"Taters." It's an echo as everyone replies automatically. Unconsciously.

Almost like it's become a habit.

Oops.

[forcedhesitation]

astarion origin playthrough worth it just for all the extra moments where he does the "sad wet cat" face

[juneiper-art]

Taash...ultimate.....wing person (did he take notes or)

[ellie-writes-games]

DATV Banter: Bellara's Other Book

A headcanon I'm developing for a longer series of banters including Bellara, Lucanis, and Spite. I love the idea that Lucanis is super chill with accidentally stumbling upon Bellara's smut fics because he's a canon Romance book stan and her stuff is actually really tame by most standards.

***This is some fanfiction/fanart from an elder millennial (me) who is stuck in Thedas. These are NOT actual screenshots from the game.

[mistwalkers-menagerie]

Rook and Lucanis interacting took me out. Spoilers below

A giant stone hand not dissimilar to that in the Exalted Plains, where Bull laughs himself silly over his own pun.

Rook is worse.

Paraphrasing, but basically "anyone need a hand? The ancient elves handmade this, could come in handy."

And Lucanis went in such a beautifully deadpan way:

"People have been killed for less."

[soupandsorcery]

Emmrich: I hope you were able to get some sleep last night, Lucanis.

Lucanis: A little. Spite finally tired himself out.

Emmrich: I promise you, I will do everything I can to figure out a way to reach Rook. It just might take some time...

Lucanis: We might not have much time left.

Emmrich: I know things are dire with Elgar'nan taking over Minrathous, but I don't think we are in immediate danger as long as we remain here.

Lucanis: I'm not talking about Elgar'nan.

Emmrich: Then who...

Lucanis: I have to go tell Viago that we lost his brother.

Emmrich: Ah.

[dalishious]

I really like taking Taash and Lucanis out together

"Very intense" and they both share that look like yeah. We know what each other means.

[what-is-it-to-be-pk-esque]

Ok I know I'm heavily biased here but like I kinda love that Astarion's romance is one of the few in this type of video game where you basically end up canonically unmarried and childfree in his "good" ending? Just travelling the world??

Like it's honestly the millennial dream lmfaoo cannot believe i chose what would undoubtedly be my favorite option, first try