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ashandboneca · 4 years ago

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Racism, abuse, and why I don’t consider myself a part of the ‘community’

I’d like to talk about the event that pushed me away from the idea of a pagan community, and forced me inwards to further develop my own practice - and about the events of the last few years in regards to continued abuses in the pagan community. About 6 years ago, I started to look into the Norse pantheon. I had worked with Thor in the past, and about 6 or 7 prior to that I did an experiment where I worked with the Aesir for a month. At that point in my life, I didn't connect with them. I don't know why I didn't, I partially blame the terrible book I had for guidance, and the fact that the person who initially agreed to guide me flaked out. However, this time around I endeavoured to learn as much as I could from a reputable source, because the last time I had no idea what I was doing. I approached my friend, who is a practicing forn sidr heathen, and they agreed to teach me what they knew. We spent a number of sessions discussing cosmology and theology. I felt confident going forward, armed with book recommendations and a passion to learn further. I wrote a bit about my experiences openly on my previous blog with Odinn. Interactions with him were not sought after, but something that merely happened. When gods or spirits or ancestors come calling, you answer in some way out of respect. I wrote more about my experiences, and different techniques I utilized to connect with him. None of them were specifically Heathen - but I don't soley identify as Heathen, so I figured if that was an issue, Odinn wouldn't have shown up in the first place.

Some time later, my friend had messaged me to let me know they had gotten some hate mail about me via Witchvox (which no longer exists, but used to be a connection board for finding pagans and witches in your area, as well as open groups, etc). I was initially gobsmacked. Why the hell is someone emailing her in regards to something I did? Wouldn't have been more productive to email or message me to resolve whatever issue? I found it who it was. This person was, at that time, a member of a well recognized organization locally who put on events and rituals - an organization whose first mandate is "We hold that each one of us has their own path to follow to truth and spirit." To be honest, I had never really interacted with this person beyond being paid to do so in my former job at a pagan bookshop. We attended a few of the same events, but never really interacted. There was no real beef. I wasn't particularly fond of said person, but I had no real issues with them - so this came sort of out of left field. I sat on it for a bit. I did not reply to the sender. Instead, I decided to post the initial email on my previous blog. Inevitably, someone is going to disagree with how you practice or what you do, even if you're not doing anything wrong. The point I think is important to underline is that you do not need to stand for other people trying to tear you down, assert some kind of moral superiority over you, or telling you how and when you should be practicing, unless your practice is appropriative - in which case you should be taking a long, hard look at yourself. As heathenry is an open tradition, I had no concerns. I also think transparency is very important, and when people behave badly they often do so to gain something from it. Whether it is attention, drama, or they feel they are in a safe space to do so due to anonymity. So, by posting the email (albeit in edited format - I removed all identifying information about said person, because I wanted to focus on the behaviour, not the person), I felt I was addressing something that more people should have been addressing. Afterwards, my friend received a few more emails about how I was 'pissing on their ancestors' and etc. My friend told them, in no uncertain terms, that the emails were unwelcome, the issue was none of their business, and to fuck off. I also got a few emails, a few messages on Witchvox, a few comments, and a lovely comment from a sockpuppet account here on tumblr, as well as finding out my writing was posted to be mocked because I wasn't 'heathen' enough - with screenshots! I did not respond to anything, just kept record of everything in case it was needed. I disagree with the idea of bringing in some third party who is uninvolved to do one's dirty work. If someone has an issue with how someone else is practicing, they need to question whether it's something to address. Bringing in someone uninvolved is both cowardly and childish. They did not ask to be involved, and I'm not sure what involving another person serves to carry a point. Fight your own battles, or say nothing.

There were a few other instances. A series of screencaps of this person’s continued racist, sexist, and abusive behaviour was provided to a few of us. A known leader was accused of racism and verbal abuse by other members of the community with credible evidence. This leader had a pattern of setting up multiple Facebook accounts and when one was found they would set up a new one with a new name. They talked at length about their feelings on immigration, POC in the Heathen community, and interfaith. They advocated violence and celebrated terrorist acts. Some really troubling, disgusting stuff.

We did what we thought was right - we emailed the organization to tell them and offer proof via said screencaps. In the response, we were told, and I am not bullshitting, that this person was a valued member of the community, that they are 'proud' of their heritage (uh, so am I, but I don't run my mouth off about diversity being white genocide), and that we could essentially go pound sand. I quote "own personal outlook on (their) culture and (their) path. (They are) entitled to (their) own practice as much as anyone of us are, and (they) cares deeply for (their) culture. (They) makes a significant contribution to the Pagan community with (their) efforts through (group). (They are) a hard worker and has accomplished a great many things in (their) time on the board, a commitment that is not to be taken lightly. (They) fulfill (their) duties as a board member admirably."

Do I agree with their hot take on this? No. I think if someone comes to you with an accusation of that kind of wrongdoing, you have a duty to do some manner of preliminary investigation, because if you are in a position where you are teaching people and have authority, those students need to feel safe. You need to determine if the accusations have any truth, and if they are found to be false, feel free to stand behind and assert your belief in the accused. I truly believe the harasser/abuser showed their group the email, and they spun it in some way to discredit us.

Complicity via ignorance is still complicity - it's enough to tarnish an organization's good name. In the working world, business owners have been hung out to dry because of their racist, homophobic, or sexist employee's actions. The whole Kenny Klein situation happened for years because people excused his behaviour and allowed other people to be abused. We are all finger-wagging and clucking when people try to bring up this behaviour - don't be starting drama, oh that's just how (name) is, oh that's just rumours. Look, everyone - assholes, creeps, criminals, and predators exist in every faith, every organization. We are so quick to sweep it under the rug, so rushed to prevent judgement, that we always forget that one important fact. While I think it's important not to jump on every bad thing you hear about people, I do think it's important to have an open and frank discussion about proper behaviour while in a position of power. Especially if proof of misdeeds are being offered.

This group, and their lack of action, stood complicit in this person's bad behaviour. If they made the choice to stand behind a racist, bigoted person who spends their time trying to harass people online (I am not the only one, I have been told - there have been multiple people, including some of their own family members), that is their choice. They have made that choice, and they have chosen to accept any repercussions going along with it. They chose to stand behind an abuser.

Sarah Lawless, back in 2018, named a number of known abusers in the wider PNW community. The flack she received for being brave to stand up and call that shit out was disgusting.

Abusers are coddled and protected in pagan communities. They are viewed as elders, as productive members of the community, as local heroes. While I have been fortunate to encounter very little sexual harassment in the pagan community, I have suffered other abuses and harassment that has shown me that, just like the priests and cardinals in the Vatican, pagans protect and believe only those in their clique. And there are cliques in the community, have no doubt about that.

Sarah pointed out that the ideal community is a fantasy - I agree. Stories I have heard from others about their own experiences in the 'safe and welcoming' pagan community would break your heart. One person I spoke with said 'it's scary to even fathom trying to approach anyone, because it's hard to know who to trust, who might lure you in and take advantange of you'. That is a sad statement, and one I know too well. I have a tendency to keep abuse like this close to the chest because I have been burned by people in the past. There is no spiritual support for people who get abused - no chaplains, no pastoral care, no therapists.

These were people who were putting everything on the line to be heard, and the vitriol and hatred and lies I had seen made my blood boil. This is precisely why people do not come forward. They could put everything on the line - in Sarah's case, the safety of her partner at the time and children - and people will still find a way to claim the survivors are lying. Why? What do the survivors get out of lying about their abuse? What person would come forward, knowing they will be attacked, confronted, slandered, and encounter more abuse, if they weren't telling the truth? Why would any survivor put themselves through that unless there is truth? The most stalwart defenders claim 'they couldn't have done it, I've never seen them do anything to me!' Humans are complicated and complex beings, with many facets and many faces. The face you see may not be the same face others see. The John Doe you know and the John Doe I know may be the same person, but very different relationships.

It comes down to this: You can't 'believe survivors' if you're supporting abusers.

You can't support survivors if you're sheltering abusers.

You can't help survivors if you're siding with abusers.

You can't call it a safe community if you don't protect it's members.

Standing up for myself and others lost me “friends” who ditched me about the ‘drama’, and my community. Something needs to change. It is inevitable that change will befall the community, and those denizens had better wise up quickly. There are a lot of young, vulnerable people looking for guidance and safety, and the community better fucking step up and prove they are willing to protect their members, or they have become no better than the Christian groups who continue to enable their abuse. We need willing leaders to push forward to make the community better. We need dedicated, smart, and savvy people to navigate a new and better future for paganism, because it's got a death rattle going on and it needs the kiss of a new life.

Burn the whole of the modern pagan community down. Burn down the groups that perpetuate abuse, that enable abusers, and grow something better and safe from the ashes. Dismantle the sexist, enabling, racist, oversexed community with it's abusive elders, cleanse it with fire, and create a place where people can come together without having to fear predators.

The only I have learned from watching my and other’s experiences is that we shouldn't call out wrongdoing in the community, because I have gotten abuse hurled at me for it and I have seen others who have done the same get more and worse abuse. People get mad, they accuse those who come forward of 'causing drama' or 'rocking the boat'.

That is a terrible lesson. A witch is sovereign unto themselves.

Bitches, this boat is rocking. Grab on, or drown.

This is my own story. I have posted links for further review down below.

Further reading:

Dealing With Toxic People in the Pagan Community

Sarah Lawless’ post about her suffered abuse, via the Wayback Machine

Abuse, the Pagan Community, and Our Commitments

Abuse Within Paganism - a taboo topic?

A Crisis of Faith

Authenticity and Racism in Contempory Paganism

This is not a new issue - via livejournal, 2006

Cultural Appropriation in Neopaganism

#Ash and Bone #ashandbone.ca #witchcraft #traditional witchcraft #heathenry #The Crooked Path #tw abuse #tw racism #pagan #paganism #yes i wrote a whole damn paper

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ferbmanofactionfletcher · 3 years ago

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Interview Process || The Flynn-Fletcher’s

Candace, Phineas, and Ferb sit down to interview Andrea on why she should get the chance to fill the roll she came to town for.

[TW: bad parenting, past trauma related to bad parenting]

@oh-phineas @i-want-candy

FERB

A time and place had been agreed upon for the interview of Andrea Martin. (Their house, afternoon.)

Ferb had no idea how to go about it and proceeded to spend the time leading up to it researching the interview process from the interviewer’s perspective. There were so many techniques, ranging from that of an employer looking to learn about a person that best suited a job to that of a screenwriter looking for research on a subject. He didn’t know which one to employ here since— well he didn’t know what exactly they were interviewing her for. What position was she wanting to take up?

A mother? She already had kids that she had a direct relationship to. And was he supposed to meet them? His half siblings? Or her husband? His step-father? What about—?

And he mostly got overwhelmed when he thought about it as one question would branch off into an infinite tree diagram. Though to anyone looking at him, he still looked like Ferb always did. Neutral and steady.

There were questions he had prepared but overall, didn’t know what to expect. But, that was the catch when it came to all people— he could never anticipate the outcome.

He sat at the kitchen table with Phineas and Candace, opposite to Andrea, who looked to be happily sipping tea. His eyes shifted to the Flynn’s, unsure if he was supposed to say something first since— well she was only here because of him. But they were so much better at speaking.

Andrea cleared her throat, leaning forward against the table top. “So! Where should we start?”

PHINEAS

Phineas didn’t really do as much research. His idea of an “interview” was mostly based on podcasts about tech startups and his own extremely limited experience. But he wanted to give Andrea hard questions (and yes, this was partially a result of his own humiliation at his Chapter Three interview). Part of it was a power trip, sure, but the other part was his genuine desire to protect Ferb. If this lady really cared about him, she would have to fight to be a part of his life.

“I’ll start us off,” Phineas announced, glancing at Ferb and at Candace. He signed as he spoke and translated for Andrea-- he didn’t want Ferb to miss any of this. It was his decision, at the end of the day. Phineas fixed Andrea with an extremely serious expression. “How many pennies, stacked one on top of the other, would equal the height of the Empire State Building?”

CANDACE:

Candace didn’t see the point of this. In fact, she thought it was incredibly stupid. There was nothing that Andrea could say that would convince Candace that she was truly back. Parents that left always left. They weren’t parents. They were sperm and egg donors. Nothing more. If only she could make Ferb see that.

Even if he did, she doubted that he would do the right thing and push Andrea away. He was too nice for that, too much of a pushover.

Well, if Candace was forced to be his big sister, this was how she would do it. By protecting him from a woman he didn’t even remember. So, even though she thought this whole thing was stupid and pointless, she was going to be here. For every step of it. And she’d expose Andrea for being just as flighty as she was before. People like her didn’t change. She’d make sure that Ferb understood that when all this was said and done.

She sat slightly slumped in her chair, arms crossed, glaring at Andrea. Phineas’ question wasn’t going to get them anywhere but at least it’d tell her if Andrea was willing to play along. Maybe Phineas would just wear her down by being obnoxious. That would be ideal, since at the very least, Candace knew Ferb would stick up for Phineas.

Candace didn’t say anything. She just watched.

FERB

Ferb didn’t really know where Phineas was going with that one. It seemed a little out of left field if they were supposed to be getting to know who she was. But he didn’t protest or shoot him a funny look, he trusted Phineas to know what he was doing— Ferb just blinked and turned to see what Ms. Martin would have to say while he worked it out for himself in his head.

(The height of the Empire State building [1,454ft, which converted to 443,179.2 mm] divided by the thickness of an average American penny [1.52mm] = 291,565.2632 or, rounding up since you couldn’t very well slice the penny, 291,566 pennies.)

At first Andrea could only stare, brow furrowed, at the question. She had prepared for numerous things to be asked of her. About her life, about why she had left, about why she hadn’t come back, about her other children, about her and Lawrence’s past relationship— but she had never expected she would have to do maths.

“The Empire State Building.” She smiled as she repeated him. It had still been such a surprise that Lawrence of all people had found someone to marry in America. Then she hummed, lips pressed together trying to think how she was even supposed to begin.

After a moment she simply shrugged, figuring it wasn’t worth answering something so silly. Surely it was some sort of joke Phineas wanted in order to break the ice? Andrea laughed a little before providing her answer. “I’m afraid I’ve no idea. I don’t even know how tall the Empire State Building is. I’m sorry.” She glanced between the three of them. “How many is it then?”

PHINEAS

Phineas smiled triumphantly, and scribbled down a few notes that didn’t actually mean anything but just to show Andrea he was taking notes. That he had opinions on that answer. He was going to turn it over to Candace for the next question, but Phineas couldn’t help it. He had to interject with his explanation.

“So, that question doesn’t actually have a correct answer-- well, it would, maybe, if I were interviewing you for an engineering job, but even then, there would probably be more efficient ways to test your math skills than a word problem about pennies and the Empire State Building. That was actually a test to see what kind of problem-solver you are. Whether you would even make an attempt, you know? And if you did, would you go at it from a mathematical perspective, or a more practical perspective? Or maybe you would have a question about the problem, like do the laws of physics apply here, and if not, could I stack the pennies length-wise instead of width-wise?” Phineas explained, a superior smile on his face as he signed the words. “So if you want to make another try, you can, but I think I got what I needed from that question.”

He glanced at Candace. “Did you want to go next?”

CANDACE: Not that Candace would admit it out loud, but she was actually kind of impressed with Phineas’ logic about the question. She wondered what weirdo interview site he’d read that on. Probably the hiring for Google or something. It sounded like a question they would ask you if you wanted to work at Google.

And she was unimpressed with Andrea’s answer.

At least come up with something, yeah? Ask a question? Don’t just give up. It showed a weak sort of character, if you asked Candace. The kind of character that would run out on her son at first opportunity. And would do it again without a second thought.

When Phineas passed the baton to her, Candace shrugged a little. “Sure, I guess.”

Candace didn’t know what she wanted to ask. She hadn’t come into this wanting to ask anything. Only looking for the satisfaction of Andrea failing. But, now that the opportunity presented itself: yeah, Candace had a question.

“Why now? Why are you back now? You never said. And I don’t want some bullshit answer. There has got to be a real reason.”

FERB

In all his research, Ferb hadn’t come across Phineas’ question, which made him wonder if his research had been thorough enough. Then again, that was why Candace and Phineas were here. To fill in the gaps that Ferb couldn’t.

It also made him uncomfortable once he realized what Ms. Martin’s answer reflected about herself. He couldn’t even muster up the courage to glance her way, knowing the second hand embarrassment would eat him alive if he did. This only grew as he watched Candace’s words popped up along his phone screen.

Andrea let out a little oh, falling back into her seat at the explanation. She folded her hands, one on top of the other, her confidence level having decreased significantly— and after only the first question.

As Phineas asked his sister if she wished to contribute Andrea picked her head back up, pressing a smile back to her features. Ah, now this she had been prepared for. Even if the way it was said was rather vulgar. That was fine. Even needed.

“I know it seems a little out of the blue. Believe me, it was for me, too. But— like I had said, I just couldn’t stay away any longer. There was no more reasons I could come up with or excuses that I could push in front of me to blame. I was watching my other children and I— I don’t know but I finally came to my senses. I realized Ferb was going to be a young man soon enough and I knew I didn’t want to miss any more of his life than I already had.” She looked over to Ferb now but when his head remained down, eyes focused on his phone’s screen Andrea returned her attention back to Candace. “I don’t know quite what you mean by the real reason. If it’s finances you think I’m after, I’d obviously be in the wrong place. The house was never in my name, there’s no secret will or treasure said to be buried in the floorboards that’s somehow come to light or whatever else. The only thing here is my son. That’s it, plain and simple.”

PHINEAS

Phineas liked to pride himself on being scientific and objective with these kinds of things. Logical. Sure, he was an emotional person and emotions often got in the way of good choices, but not with science. And that was what this kind of was, right? A science experiment?

Hypothesis: Andrea couldn’t possibly deserve Ferb.

Conclusion: ...Unclear.

It was getting harder for Phineas to separate his own baggage from this. Because, really, how many times had he imagined this exact scenario for himself? Fred showing up on the Flynns’ doorstep in Danville, begging for forgiveness, saying that he had made a mistake and that he didn’t want to miss another moment of his kids’ lives. Not so much recently, because Phineas had a new life and a new family and he barely thought about Fred anymore. But when he was in middle school? That had been a different time.

“What are you going to do to make it up?” Phineas interjected, his tone different now. Less smarmy, a little more genuine. A hint of a challenge in his tone, but a little bit of fear as well. Hopefully Candace wouldn’t catch on to what was going on here. “If you’re gonna walk out on your kid with no explanation, the least you can do is prove you’re sorry.”

FERB

“I’m not sure that there is any one thing I can do to make it up,” Andrea admitted with a small shrug. (Especially when the one she was even here for wouldn’t spare her a glance!) “Nor do I have any set plan in mind. That’s not really how you gain someone’s trust, is it? You can’t manufacture that. All I can do is make good on my word— which is that I’m here now and I will be for as long as I am welcomed. And even if it takes til the end of my life to repair the damage I have done and to form any sort of relationship with my son, then I’ll do it.”

This all seemed rather dramatic to Ferb.

Phineas’ and Candace’s body language read defensive while Ms. Martin was still one giant mystery, but she did seem tense. Immediately he wished he could call the whole thing off. Maybe he could fake an illness or something, say he got a text about some emergency— of course that wouldn’t work considering the only people who would contact him about that were all somewhere in the house.

He wasn’t so selfish to think that all of this was about him. The Flynn’s had lost a parent, one they had actually known personally, and he could guess this was poking at old, but still painful, wounds. But he was so selfish to think that none of this would be happening if it weren’t for him, and it was rather pointless to do so.

CANDACE:

No, it wasn’t about Ferb.

Not to Candace. She wasn’t mature enough to separate her own wound from Ferb’s. She projected her own feelings onto him, which was easy to do. He was quiet and reserved. She couldn’t read him, but she didn’t need to. She assumed she knew exactly how he was feeling, because it was how she felt:

Confused. Angry. Hurt. Her whole heart felt like a bruise. A lot of the time, it was easy to ignore Fred’s absence. It had been years and Candace didn’t need him anyway. She did just fine on her own. But, now that Andrea was here with her watery eyes and half-baked promises, Candace’s missing for her father had opened up like a black hole in her chest, sucking everything else into it.

It made her feel more protective of Ferb than any previous time. He was so soft. Such a pushover. He’d let Andrea back into his life even though she didn’t earn it and then get hurt when she inevitably left again. Candace felt like she had to protect him from this, the way she hadn’t been able to protect Phineas from the heartbreak of their father walking away.

“And what if he decides he doesn’t want a relationship? And that the damage you caused is irreversible?”

PHINEAS

Phineas glanced at Candace sharply. That was… an intense thing to say. And even if Phineas had come into this interview determined to drive Andrea away, he was starting to wonder if maybe he had judged her too harshly.

Because the truth was, Andrea was right. There wasn’t any one thing you could do to make something like this better. Phineas had never wanted Fred to come back with presents or stories or excuses. He just wanted a dad. Period. It didn’t matter, now, though, because he had Lawrence who was way better and would never disappear.

Sometimes he did wonder, though, what he would do. He and Ferb didn’t really talk about this stuff much.

“I mean, irreversible’s a strong word. Ferb isn’t damaged,” Phineas said quickly. “He’s, like, the most mature person I know. But I get what Candace is saying. It’s up to Ferb. I trust him.” He glanced at Ferb encouragingly. “Anything you wanna say, Ferb?”

FERB

Both Candace and Phineas were wrong.

Ferb was damaged— but it had not been because his mother had left. It was of his own doing. This was why he felt no anger toward the woman sitting on the other side of the table. Of course, it had hurt to have learned why she did not want him. It always hurt. It had hurt every time he had tried to communicate with someone at school or at the park or— anywhere, really, and they would ignore him. When his teachers would talk to Ms. Thompson instead of him despite it being his words she was translating. When his father would have to take over every conversation on his behalf at restaurants, stores, and just about everywhere else. It was why he avoided it now. The world. He had learned to know better than to inconvenience it with himself.

He watched Phineas’ question addressing him stare back at him from his phone and after a moment he lifted his head. It took him another to finally turn to find Ms. Martin’s eyes.

“I don’t want to deny you the opportunity you’re asking for but— you have other children. I fail to see what I could give you that they can’t.”

Andrea’s discomfort grew at the sound of her son’s voice. It was the first time hearing it. Even as a baby he had been rather quiet. She hadn’t expected it. Which was silly, considering, but still. It was off. Different. Made his lack of hearing all the more present to her. She tried not to let that show.

“Oh, darling, it isn’t about what you can give me! I’m supposed to be giving to you. And even if it were the other way around, you’re doing your part by just being you.”

There was a pause as Ferb had to read this over. She shifted in her seat. (Again, it grew.) “You don’t know me, though.”

“Right— that’s what I’m here to do!”

Pause. (Growing, growing, growing.)

“It won’t be worth it.”

Andrea’s smile fell. She blinked, brow furrowing as her eyes went to the other two sitting in front of her to make sure she had heard that correctly. “I’m— I’m sorry?”

“Objectively speaking, it won’t be worth it. Getting to know me. You live in another city where you live with your family and go to work. If you wished to see me you would need to travel which would cost you money and time you would otherwise be able to save. People would expect you to learn sign, which also takes up more time from your life. If you only wished to communicate through technology it would be a written relationship since you can’t call me, which would only take up storage space and, again, time. Either way you would have to contact my father, which he does not seem pleased with. People usually do not respond well to not being liked so your interactions will tax the both of you. And— I’m not worth all of that. You gain nothing from knowing me besides extra hardships which will only result in regret or resentment. Both of which are not healthy.”

CANDACE: Candace rolled her eyes at Phineas. She hadn’t meant that Ferb was like...broken or something, just emotionally damaged. Because having a shitty parent did that to you. Obviously. It broke your heart and your trust and made you feel like shit. It was damaging. End of story.

Listen to Ferb now! Clearly, he felt the same way.

It was hard to listen to because Candace had shit opinions of herself, but she had some redeeming qualities. And she would never admit to feeling them the way that Ferb did now. It was uncomfortable to say the least. It made Candace want to squirm.

So, she did what she usually did when she was uncomfortable: she turned it into something else. Anger. Anger at Andrea and any parent that thought just leaving a child was okay.

“See?” she said furiously. “That’s because of you. He thinks that way, because of you. He thinks he isn’t worth it because you left him. That’s fucked up and it isn’t something that is easily forgiven. You can sit here with smiles all you want, but what you did was horrible.”

She looked at Ferb then and she’d been signing this whole time...well, doing her best anyway. She still wasn’t totally good at it and she was too pissed. But, what she said now, she said very carefully and very deliberately.

“No one should make you feel like a transaction,” she told him, even if she had to spell out ‘transaction’ because she didn’t know the sign for it. “And it’s okay if you’re angry or upset. Just because she’s here, doesn’t mean you have to be polite.”

God, she wished Ferb had more of a backbone and would just tear into this bitch.

PHINEAS

Phineas, in theory, agreed with pretty much everything Candace was saying. Relationships didn’t work like that, the way Ferb was describing it: they were about love and reciprocity, and genuine care for other people. That was the way Phineas saw it, anyway. Sure, it was nice that Ferb could help Phineas when the projects got too technical and complicated for Phineas to do on his own, but Phineas that wasn’t why Phineas cared about him. It was because they were brothers now, and that was what brothers did. That simple.

But Candace’s tone annoyed him. Why did she know better than Ferb? She always acted like she was so much older and wiser, meanwhile, she was barely a year older than Phineas. She was right, but did she have to be so bossy about it? And even if what she did was kind of fucked-up, if Ferb did eventually want to give Andrea a second chance, what made it Candace’s business?

Phineas didn’t realize it, but he was maybe projecting a little too.

He had a lot of things to say, but it wouldn’t be professional to say them out loud, not in front of Andrea. So Phineas did the thing that was probably ruder— he took out his phone and texted the group chat with Candace and Ferb.

@Ferb that’s bullshit and u know it anyone would be lucky to get the opportunity to be in ur family and like obviously ur worth it

@Candace that being said can you chill with the psychoanalysis me and ferb r capable of making our own decisions

Satisfied, Phineas set his phone down and signed to Candace and Ferb, Check your phone, before turning his attention back to Andrea. “I think what we’re actually trying to ask is what you can bring to Ferb’s life, not the other way around. Let’s focus on that. And based on that, Ferb can make his own decision about whether it’s worth it to him.” Phineas shot Candace a look.

FERB

If Andrea hadn’t already folded under listening to Ferb talk, then she certainly would have upon Candace’s addition. She found she didn’t know what to say to any of that— and she thought she had prepared for the worst.

Ferb pondered over Candace’s words and concluded that she wasn’t really talking about him. He didn’t think that way because of Ms. Martin, he had always thought that way. His brain had made it easier with its ability to recall everything it had ever come into contact with. He also hadn’t said that he was worthless, just that he wasn’t worth spending time with. That was a fact, proven by many, many, many failed attempts to prove the opposite.

And he was upset that Ms. Martin was here, but he had taken to not showing his emotions out of self preservation. It wasn’t out of politeness, though, he did have those hardwired into him, too.

His eyes flickered down to his phone as Phineas’ texts came through. Phineas was obviously biased, but Ferb appreciated the kindness nonetheless.

This whole thing wasn’t out of a want for a mother or because he sought to gain anything from this— it just seemed like the fair thing to do. Ms. Martin had asked for a chance. Ferb did not want to deny her that, even if she had wronged him. It was the right thing to do.

Andrea cleared her throat after Phineas addressed her, nodding. “Of course! Yes, you’re right. I completely agree. I don’t mind traveling at all and I’m certain Lawrence and I can be civil to one another, so, please, you’ve nothing to worry about as far as logistics go.”

Ferb blinked and she was beginning to think that was a good thing rather than him responding. So far, he only replied with bad news.

“As for what I can offer, it’s only what anyone else could— myself. And while I know my past record doesn’t reflect that being a very good thing, but I want to be here. I want to know him— you. Ferb. To whatever effect that may be! And not because I feel like it’s my obligation to do so.” She smiled, trying to get away from all the discomfort of the past few minutes. “We can start with interests! What do you like?”

Again, Ferb blinked, then shrugged, unsure of how to answer that. It was too broad of a question. What did she mean, what did he like? As in food? Colours? Coding method? Time of day?

“Right.” She glanced to the Flynn’s. “You two know him better than I do. Is he in anything? Sports? Clubs?”

CANDACE:

Candace ignored her phone because she didn’t care what Phineas had to say. She was right. Everyone here knew it. Andrea didn’t deserve to come back into Ferb’s life. Admittedly, she didn’t know what would qualify as enough penitence to come back into Ferb’s life. She hadn’t ever thought about it. When Fred had left, that had been it. Candace had spent months, crying and waiting for him to come home. Calling his cell phone only to receive a dial tone.

She had held out hope until her birthday, but when he didn’t show up. Or call. Or even send a card, Candace knew that he was gone and she’d cut him out of her heart then. Of course, it was messier than she liked to think when she look back now, but what was done was done. Every missed birthday, graduation, milestone had only hardened her heart against him. Fred was a sperm donor. Not a dad. If he showed back up she’d—

See, she didn’t know, because she never thought about it.

Whatever Andrea was doing wasn’t it, though.

“This is stupid,” Candace declared, pushing back from her chair. “You aren’t even talking to him, himself!” Her hands flew erratically as she tried to sign but was too pissed off to do so very well.

“Whatever. I’m not dealing with this. If you want to “get to know” Ferb, fine, whatever. But count me out.” And with that, she stormed out of the kitchen, Agent P scrambling at her feet playfully.

PHINEAS

Phineas was annoyed. At everyone. Candace was being unreasonable, Andrea was being awkward, and Ferb was… well, Phineas figured he probably shouldn’t get to decide how Ferb should feel about his estranged mom showing up, but he wished Ferb would say something. Even if Phineas thought Candace needed to calm down, he did agree that it rubbed him the wrong way that Andrea was talking about Ferb instead of to him.

He watched Candace storm off and raised his eyebrows, shrugging apologetically.

“Sorry about her,” Phineas said. He glanced at Ferb, trying to see where he was coming from. “But she does have a point. You can’t just talk about people right in front of them. Anyway, we’ll be asking the questions.”

He smiled and folded his hands, satisfied with his own assertive attitude. “Describe what you would do if Ferb got detention.” Ohhh yeah. This was a trick question. Ferb never got detention.

FERB

Goodness, Andrea thought, but forgave the girl as soon as she left. It wasn’t her fault. That came from upbringing, clearly. And Candace hadn’t really been the person Andrea had been here for anyway.

“Oh, that’s alright. She’s fine, I understand.” She nodded to Phineas, folding her hands back over one another on top of the table.

Ferb, on the other hand, felt all the more guilty. He shouldn’t have said anything. He should have just sat there. He shouldn’t have invited her back. He shouldn’t have come down stairs at all the day she showed up. He shouldn’t have—. Well. That list could consist of an infinite amount of answers, or just one that would make everything else moot.

He didn’t look back at Phineas this time, too ashamed now to do anything but keep his eyes on his phone because surely Phineas would be angry with him, too. Yet he kept his anxieties from manifesting and despite the dread sitting in his stomach like a pit, he remained still and seated, even if he wanted to leave the table, too, to go find a hiding place that would last him for all eternity.

Andrea didn’t really have to think that hard about this question since she did have experience with figuring out punishments for her own children when getting phone calls from their schools! What she hesitated on was the fact that it was a child who was asking the question. Surely he would deduct points if she answered like a parent should. Or maybe he was trying to see if she would sugar coat it for the sake of trying to appeal to them?

Oh, she was just overthinking it. This was a child! “Well, depending on what he was in detention for, I would vary the consequences. He would have to apologize to whoever, if anyone, he had hurt, and then probably be grounded for some time, again, depending.”

PHINEAS

Phineas smirked. “Trick question. Ferb doesn’t get detention. The one time he did was because he covered my ass. So… nice try, but incorrect,” he said, a tone of superiority in his voice as he signed. He winked at Ferb.

Candace was gone and as much as Phineas wanted to milk this opportunity to be in charge, he figured there wasn’t much point in continuing to grill Andrea. Phineas didn’t hate her, after all. He was a little suspicious, but for the most part, she just seemed like a well-intentioned person who didn’t realize she was kind of in over her head. That was Phineas’s assessment anyway.

“Listen, I wouldn’t take Candace personally. She’s just… like that. I do agree that this is kind of out of nowhere, and I think you have a lot of making up for lost time to do, but the end of the day, it’s Ferb’s decision, not ours. Excuse us for a moment.”

He turned to Ferb and signed, Do you want to make a decision now, or sleep on it?

FERB

Andrea sat there a little shocked. He didn’t get detention? She blinked, jaw slack, as Phineas informed her. It wasn’t as if she had been expecting Ferb to be a troublemaker or anything, but never? On his own accord, anyway? Goodness. Even her other children had gotten punishments at school. A call home here or there for something. It was only natural.

She only gave a weak nod and smile to match as Phineas tried to apologize for his sister. Again, Andrea really paid no mind to Candace. She wasn’t the one she was here for and nor did she seem particularly close to Ferb in the way the boy sitting next to him was. Andrea sat back, left to twiddle her thumbs as the two of them began to speak in a language she couldn’t even begin to make out. (Which was more from a lack of not trying than anything else.)

Ferb thought over this question and could see no reason to prolong the inevitable. Ms. Martin had given her answers and she had still seemed like she wanted to know Ferb. For whatever reason. In his mind, it was only fair to give her a shot. She had apologized and said she would do more to make amends. There was really nothing else he could think to ask for.

Also, this was perhaps a chance for him to make up for his own failings. All those years he had spent trying to actively gain people’s friendship only to be ignored. Now, he was met with someone who had ignored him for years who was wanting to do the opposite. That had never happened before.

Now, he signed, both hands at his ribcage, palms to the ceiling, bobbing up and down twice. He then turned to Ms. Martin and spoke aloud. “Okay. If this is what you want.”

She nodded enthusiastically. “It is! Of course. Erm— oh here.” Andrea reached across the table to take Ferb’s phone, which caused a spike in his nerves since he 1. No longer knew what she was saying and 2. Well. She had his phone. After a few painful seconds of her tapping at it she pushed it back across to him. “I put my number in so you can call or— contact me whenever!”

Ferb, having not gotten any of that, just nodded. Andrea smiled, eyes moving to Phineas. “And thank you so much! This was delightful, apart from— well. Anyway, I’m sure we’ll be seeing more of each other soon!”

#interview process #oh phineas #i want candy #fern

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nadziejastar · 5 years ago

Note

What are your thoughts on the various types of lesser Nobodies?

The members of the Organization each had their own distinctive weapons that didn’t exactly cooperate if someone else tried to use them, but Keyblades were even more particular. If someone else so much as tried to pick it up, a Keyblade would simply return to its wielder’s hand. Or so Xion had heard.

We should have gotten to learn how the members of the organization got their weapons.

Nobodies derived their personalities and abilities from memories of their human lives. But what exactly were those abilities? What gave rise to them? The answer that came to mind was the presence of memory itself. They were chained by their memory, and in those bonds was power. So it was probably fair to say that Roxas and Xion were bound by the same memory.

And we should have learned how they got their “personalities” and abilities, too. The Nobodies they control are one of those abilities, no doubt. They should be based off of specific memories from when they were human. Which means that the organization members should have gotten a MUCH more flesh out backstory than they got. I’m really disappointed that most of them remained so flat, even including the popular ones like Axel. He may have been very likable, but his backstory in KH3 left him very flat.

Sorcerer

A sorcerer, magician, or “witch” attempts to influence the surrounding world through occult (i.e., hidden, as opposed to open and observable) means.

There should have been a story/lore based reason for each of their fighting styles. There are no lesser Nobodies based on Vexen/Zexion. It probably means that those two did not have any fighting abilities as humans, which makes sense. But the rest of the organization probably did fight as humans, thus they can control Nobodies based off of that fighting style.

Sniper

A sniper is a marksman who operates to shoot people from a concealed position. Snipers generally have specialized training and are equipped with high-precision rifles and high-magnification optics, and often feed information back to their units or command headquarters.

Braig was a sniper when he was a castle guard.

Dragoon

Dragoon, in late 16th-century Europe, a mounted soldier who fought as a light cavalryman on attack and as a dismounted infantryman on defense. The terms derived from his weapon, a species of carbine or short musket called the dragoon.

Dilan was a dragoon.

XaldinHe has the image of a medieval Chinese military commander. He is excellent at strategizing, and a powerful soldier. I’m sure the players all know that he is a contender for the first or second strongest in the Organisation. I’m satisfied that I was able to depict that strength in his personality, too. I personally really like this character.–Nomura

But he was also based on a Chinese military commander. We didn’t get to learn much about Dilan. What was his motivation? Why did he side with Xehanort?

Watching that foolish beast flail about only deepens my disdain for humans and their incessant need to be pinned down by feelings. We became Nobodies precisely to avoid the shackles of emotion. It was only later that we realized the scale of that loss: that some things simply cannot be done without a heart. Nonetheless, I see nary a pleasant thing about it.

Why did he want to get rid of his emotions and why did he consider them a weakness? What was his opinion of Ansem the Wise, and how did he feel when he was banished? Did he want to take over Radiant Garden?

Samurai

The ideal samurai was supposed to be a stoic warrior who followed an unwritten code of conduct, later formalized as Bushidō, which held bravery, honour, and personal loyalty above life itself; ritual suicide by disembowelment (seppuku) was institutionalized as a respected alternative to dishonour or defeat.

Aeleus was a samurai.

LexaeusHe’s a character with strength to rival Xaldin. While Xaldin has power plus technique, I’d say to Lexaeus is more of a samurai, or that he has bushido-style strength. If you listen to his very last line in Re:COM, I think you’ll be able to see his spirit. I wanted to do more with this character.–Nomura

Nomura said his final words showed his spirit.

Lexaeus: You are the Superior’s—Forgive me, Zexion. This was a fight I should not have started.

In Re:CoM, these are his last words. He seems to have some honor and was loyal to Zexion.

Lexaeus gave him a cruel smile. “Hmph…so I must accept my defeat here. But do not make the mistake of underestimating the darkness in me! As I am destroyed, it will leave this ruined vessel and drown you!”

Then there was a terrible shock wave far greater than what Riku had felt from the darkness that Lexaeus radiated before the battle.

“Wh…what’s happening?!” A relentless swirl of darkness surrounded him, swallowing him up until he disappeared into it.

Lexaeus laughed madly. “This is my strength… I, number five in the organization… I who was once his favorite pupil!” Those were Lexaeus’s final words before he vanished into the darkness.

In the novel, there’s an extended final scene with his final words where he apparently commits seppuku and says he was “his” favorite pupil. Who’s favorite pupil? Ansem? Xehanort? We’ll probably never know.

Berserker

Berserker, Norwegian berserk, Old Norse berserkr (“bearskin”), in premedieval and medieval Norse and Germanic history and folklore, a member of unruly warrior gangs that worshipped Odin, the supreme Norse deity, and attached themselves to royal and noble courts as bodyguards and shock troops. The berserkers’ savagery in battle and their animal-skin attire contributed to the development of the werewolf legend in Europe. These Viking berserkers were infamous for fighting in a violent rage, recklessly charging at their enemies without armor or any other protection, and seemingly without concern for their own health.

Saïx is a strange case. Unlike the apprentices, we never saw Isa fighting as a human. He was just a kid. So how did he become a berserker of all things?

Prayers are uttered to Odin, as the object of contemplation. Why Odin and not the wolf, bear, or whatever? The berserk trance is brought about by Odin, he is the inspirer, that which brings something outside the self within the self. This is ond, inspiration, or vital breath. This triggers the wod, or fury and possession, which is where the wolf, bear, or whatever comes in. As a god, Odin is a “larger” concept than the animal, and so the effect he has upon the mind during the ritual will be the greater.

Berserkers worshiped Odin. To go berserk, they needed to meditate on him and receive divine inspiration. In other words, they couldn’t just go berserk at will. The needed to meditate upon a divine purpose to go berserk.

Do you know what happens to those who lose their true purpose? Inevitably, they destroy themselves.

I think Saïx was the same.

It infuriated me how you just exited our lives. I lost…all sense of purpose.

He needed a purpose to go berserk.

Yes, I thought you didn’t need me anymore. If you didn’t need me, then I no longer held meaning.

For him, it was Lea.

Saïx hesitated for a second, and Roxas ran at him.

He blocked the Keyblade.

Long ago—I remember, I didn’t hate fighting. Saïx flung his claymore at Roxas.

And so, Saïx remembered things from a long, long time ago.

My theory is that Saïx would need to meditate on his purpose before he could go berserk. Before he went berserk fighting Roxas, he thought back to a time before he hated fighting. Back when he had someone to protect and fighting actually had meaning.

Assassin

A murderer of an important person in a surprise attack for political or religious reasons.

One of the things I disliked about KH3 was its characterization of Axel/Lea and seemingly retconning his role as an assassin. On the clock tower, Axel and Saïx revealed their shared goal of finding Subject X. Saïx wanted to work his way to the top of the organization hierarchy so he could find out what happened to her. Axel said that he couldn’t keep up with Saïx and his willingness to do the icky jobs Xemnas wanted them to do to achieve that rank.

This flies in the face of ALL the hints from the previous games about their shared objective:

In order for Sora—no, for Roxas to live, and also for us to accomplish our own goal, Zexion is in the way. And, if it’s for the sake of our own goal, we already decided what to do, that time.

In the novel, Axel references their shared goal and how they decided to do whatever it took. Zexion was in the way and Axel killed him.

Given the right memories, the Replica could mimic the powers of the original. Which meant that if he were implanted with somebody else’s memories, he would, hypothetically, gain other powers. Somebody’s—or maybe even a Nobody’s. He had one particular Nobody in mind. All the members of the Organization were still influenced by the memories of their human lives.

Here, it references Axel’s memories of his human life as a reason he wants to use the Riku Replica to defeat someone and absorb their powers. Sounds like Axel was, at least partially, motivated by revenge.

Axel let out a breath. “Look, I knew Vexen and Zexion would cause trouble for you. That’s why they’re not around anymore.”

That sounded more like he was justifying it to himself, Axel thought. Their lack of hearts didn’t render their actions meaningless. It wasn’t as if they never thought carefully or acted without objectives in mind. Humans and Nobodies alike would pursue their own purposes.

“The dirty work doesn’t bother me,” Axel went on. “You just make for the top.” There was nothing false in that, and he looked Saïx in the eye as he said it. Saïx stared hard back at him. Right. We have our own agenda.

Again, it demonstrates how Axel was always the one willing to do the dirty work to achieve their goal.

“Everything is back to normal. Of course this is for the best, isn’t it?”

The reason I’m unable to answer Saïx is probably because I depend on him, thought Axel.

“Xemnas has also been irritated at the recent changes in plan. Everything has to go back to normal, for the sake of our goal too… Lea.”

Axel finally looked over at the sound of that nostalgic name. Saïx was looking at him. It made him think of his time as a human, and the memories came surging back.

Here, Saïx is trying to coerce Axel into killing Xion for the sake of their goal. He never even considers doing it himself. It sounds like Axel was always the one who handled the icky jobs like killing, not Saïx. Because, obviously, that was Axel’s job. He was the assassin.

I just did what I thought was the best thing at the time. For Roxas, for Xion, for the Organization—and for Isa. But most of all for me.

Axel was at first willing to kill Xion. And who was he doing it for? Isa. And for himself. Because he needed Isa. He emotionally depended on him. Saïx knew Axel needed him and manipulated him by calling him “Lea”.

Axel didn’t care anymore about what the Organization needed, what Xion or Roxas wanted, or even what was supposed to be good for the worlds. He had been using the Organization for his own ends from the start. The only thing that had changed in the meantime was who it was all for. Maybe Saïx would call that a betrayal. But his world had changed.

It doesn’t sound like Axel’s willingness to kill had anything to do with Subject X or finding information about her. It sounds like Axel was wiling to kill for Saïx. He and Saïx wanted to take over the organization for Saïx’s sake.

What were you really after, Lea? We joined the Organization at the same time, and formulated our plan. At this point, it’s just an idle fantasy. Everything changed. You, and me.

When Axel refused to do what Saïx wanted and left the organization, he apparently didn’t need him anymore. And Saïx couldn’t handle that.

Yes, I thought you didn’t need me anymore. If you didn’t need me, then I no longer held meaning.

Of course, Axel’s motivation was retconned in KH3. Instead of Isa being his reason for staying in the organization, it became Subject X/Skuld. And along with that change, Axel’s role as an assassin was whitewashed. Maybe the idea of the fan-favorite Axel being happily willing to ruthlessly murder people didn’t seem appropriate anymore. Especially if it was no longer not for his best friend, but for a girl who is basically a stranger to him. I dunno. But I think it’s BS.

Dancer

A warrior who dances across the battlefield, garbed in colorful raiments. Tends to have low stats and specializes in support magic.

Demyx was a dancer.

DemyxFrom the beginning he was created as a light-hearted character, but his voice actor really made him stand on his own as a character despite the short appearances he had. He is by no means strong, so I think it’s funny how you don’t see it coming when his abilities make him a formidable opponent. His line before exiting was something I thought of on the spot and had them add in.–Nomura

He is described as not very strong. We never got to see him as a human, but he was probably a performer.

Gambler

(Bakuto, 博徒) were itinerant gamblers in Japan from the 18th century to the mid-20th century. They were one of the forerunners of the modern Japanese crime gangs known as yakuza. Bakuto plied their trade in feudal Japan, playing traditional games such as hanafuda and dice. They were mostly social outcasts who lived outside the laws and norms of society.

Luxord has still not received a backstory. I think we can tell a lot about him with this, though.

LuxordIn all honesty he is my absolute favourite Organisation member. I like how he treats everything as a gamble, like Setzer from FFVI of old. I actually wanted to make him stand out more. At least I got him to say some things during the meeting scene added to KH2 FM+… but Luxord should have been able to do so much more…–Nomura

Nomura wanted to do more with him.

The nation of Lucis was said to have worked akin to a mafia crime family since the nation’s ancient beginnings, and despite its peace was said to have engaged in strict rule, including a ban on firearms and a lockdown in the capitol city. Noctis was the crown prince, and Regis the current king. Ignis, Gladiolus, and Prompto—Noctis’s team members—acted as his entourage akin to a Yakuza kyodai-shatei structure.

Maybe his gambler/bakuto job is the reason why he’s apparently going to have a connection to the Verum Rex world. In Re:Mind, Yozora’s driver sounded like Luxord. And Luxord’s wild card is apparently going to be what helps Sora return.

Reaper

Death is frequently imagined as a personified force. In some mythologies, a character known as the Grim Reaper causes the victim’s death by coming to collect that person’s soul. Other beliefs hold that the Spectre of Death is only a psychopomp, serving to sever the last ties between the soul and the body, and to guide the deceased to the afterlife, without having any control over when or how the victim dies.

The Reaper and Ninja Nobodies were introduced in KH3. I think Marluxia’s intentions were supposed to be known by the time KH3 started. He wanted to bring his sister back. That’s why he wanted to control Sora and the Keyblade and take over Castle Oblivion. That’s something that should have been explored in the Dark Seeker Saga, explaining how Marluxia became a vessel. Maybe Xehanort convinced him that if he helped open Kingdom Hearts, he could reunite with his sister.

Ninja

A ninja (忍者) was a covert agent or mercenary in feudal Japan. The functions of a ninja included espionage, deception, and surprise attacks. Their covert methods of waging irregular warfare were deemed dishonorable and beneath the honor of the samurai.

Larxene’s backstory is a Keyblade wielder from the age of fairy tales. But why was she a knife wielding ninja archetype character? What was her life like before she became a Nobody and tried to take over Castle Oblivion? How did she get so twisted and when did her hatred of men develop? What is the nature of her feelings for Marluxia? That’s what I wanna know.

#kh #organization xiii

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eyesupmarksman · 4 years ago

Text

Ice Cream Asks

literally no one asked me to do this but i’m depressed and bored so--

Chocolate: When was your first kiss?

22 (technically 18, but I’m not counting it shh)

French Vanilla: How old are you?

24, but feel 80!

Cotton Candy: Three places you want to travel to?

Berlin, Rome, anywhere along the Amalfi Coast where I can be boujee

Strawberry: A language you wish you could speak?

I want to be better at Irish. We learn it here from 4 years old to about 17/18, and not a single person in Ireland can string a sentence together (it’s taught so badly within school). I was so bad at it. But I feel like I’m getting better now.

Coffee: Favourite cosmetic brands?

None. I don’t wear makeup lmao

Mint Chocolate Chip: Indoors or outdoors?

If it’s a nice day, outdoors. But I live in Ireland. So it’s never a nice day.

Cookie Dough: Do you play any instruments?

Violin (but very badly lol)

Rocky Road: Favourite songs at the moment?

Setting Sun - Lord Huron / Cloudbusting - Kate Bush / Anything Novo Amor has Ever Composed

Butter Pecan: Favourite songs for life?

Dinner and Diatribes - Hozier / Attica - Hailaker / Thus Always To Tyrants - The Oh Hellos

Cheesecake: What's your zodiac sign?

Aquarius

Toasted Coconut: The beach or the pool?

Beach. I can’t swim so I ain’t going near the water lmao

Chocolate Chip: What's your most popular post?

It’s a post I made about being slightly annoyed of people comparing Hozier to Hades when he’s clearly Lugh, the Irish pagan warrior entity symbolising the arts and law

Bubblegum: books or movies?

D: Movies. Books. Books. Movies. Movies--

Pistachio: manga or anime?

Neither tbh

Salted Caramel: Favourite Movies?

Children of Men by Alfonzo Cuaron (not the happiest film, but an amazing film) / The Man from U.N.C.L.E by Guy Ritchie / Rogue One by Gareth Edwards (the superior of the Star Wars films don’t @ Me)

Birthday Cake: Favourite books?

Lovely War by Julie Berry (I CRIED) / All That Remains by Dr. Sue Black (if you like bones and death, it’s very interesting!) / Mythos by Stephen Fry (I like Greek Mythology. I like Stephen Fry. Need I say more?)

Moose Tracks: Favourites for manga?

I’ve never read any D:

Orange Sherbet: Favourites for anime?

Never seen any (or any that I can remember)

Peanut butter: Favourite academic subject?

I did an English and History degree so either-or.

Black Raspberry: Do you have any pets?

I have an English Cocker spaniel called Leo, and three horses (fully owned by me) called Kaliban, Sysaro, and Romeo. There’s another horse on loan to me called Dante (or Danny) and he’s an actual demon from the nine circles of hell--

Mango: When and why did you start your blog?

2012 (gross). I don’t...really know.

Mocha: Ideal weather conditions?

Sun’s out (gun’s out), with a slight breeze. I cannot COPE with heat. I need a breeze lol

Black Cherry: Four words that describe you?

Funny (I think I’m funny); Independent (too much so for my own good); Dependable (again, too much for my own good); emotionally-compromised (oop)

Neapolitan: Things that stress you out?

Anything and everything.

Raspberry Truffle: Favourite kind of music?

Indie-Alternative-Rock ???

Chocolate Marshmallow: Favourite brands of candy?

I don’t really eat candy anymore, but I am partial to a good Dairymilk chocolate bar.

Toffee: A card game that you're good at?

Coup. It’s a game about lying. And I am very good at lying to people’s faces.

Lemon Custard: Do you eat breakfast?

I make sure to eat food in the morning...does that count?

Dark chocolate: Turn-ons?

Humour. Be able to make me laugh, to be honest...

Fudge: Turn-offs?

Arrogance and ignorance. The two tend to go hand in hand. Also a pure lack of communication skills. 👀👀👀

Peach: How do you relax?

Shower. A long shower. I’m talking like a chunk of time just standing under some water. Or going for a walk.

Praline: A popular book you haven't read yet?

Anything from Rick Riordan (if my friend sees this she’ll fucking kill me oh my god). I have every intention of reading it, but I just never did.

Superman: Do you like sweaters?

I’m so picky with sweaters. Prefer hoodies.

Cherry: do you drink tea or coffee?

Neither. Tea is just hot water and coffee gives me a major migraine.

Dulce de Leche: An instrument you wish you could play?

My violin (because it’s originally my grandfather’s (who has long since passed away) and I restored it). I’m so bad at it. Or the piano. I don’t have the dexterity for it.

Blackberry: Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?

Oh absolutely. I’ve also cried so hard that I’ve laughed.

Ginger: A new feature you wish tumblr could have?

Idk just fix it pls

Blueberry Lemon: Favourite blogs?

@frrankzhang / @duelling / @dutifullygranddragon /

Almond: Favourite mean girls quote?

Boo, you whore.

Butterscotch: What colour are your nails right now?

Naked. I don’t wear nail polish or any makeup :I

Cinnamon: Have you ever been confessed to?

I, very stupidly, made myself everyone’s therapist for a long time so absolutely. I know too many things about too many people.

Blue Moon: Have you ever had a crush on someone?

Yup.

Cappuccino Crunch: Do you take naps?

Everyday. We love that Hypothyroidism and anaemic life ✌🏻

Mint: The most embarrassing thing you've ever done?

There’s so many...Idk, thought that I would have my life in order by 24 haha 😬

Brownie Batter: Do you like sushi?

Yesss, but it has to be from a specific place

Key Lime: where do you want to be right now?

Anywhere that’s away from where I’m living rn--

Red Velvet: do you wear prescription glasses?

Yup! I didn’t for a long time and I went into my local eye doctor’s because whenever I would use my laptop or the screens at work, I had to squint and come really close to it. It also gave me a very bad headache. Turns out I got a astigmatism in one eye!

Green Tea: favourite flavours of ice cream?

Vanilla (but if it’s going to be that plain, it has to be a good vanilla) or chocolate. I’m also partial to some caramel but sometimes it can be a bit too sweet.

original post with questions

#i'm so bored #yourqueenforayear

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neni-has-ascended · 5 years ago

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You Can(Not) UnGay Kaworu Nagisa - An Essay

This is a text-version of my video-essay on the recent Netflix/Evangelion translation controversy. To see the video version, please click here!

I make no secret of the fact that the linguistics involved in Anime and Game translation are one of my primary fields of interest as a Japanologist. Compared to translation between Germanic and Romanic Languages, as the west is used to it, translating from Japanese to English is filled with a plethora of pitfalls, the likes of which can be very difficult to imagine unless you’re fluent in both languages.

It’s because of this that my interest in any given AniManga controversy immediately skyrockets as soon as the matter of translation issues is brought up. Which brings us to June 21st’s release of Netflix’ Redub of Studio Gainax’ internationally infamous existential creator meltdown disguised as a Mecha Anime, Neon Genesis Evangelion.

1.) Neon Genesis ADVangelion

For those among you who haven’t yet heard of this inherently controversial work – what rock do you live under and does it still have vacancies? In all seriousness though, enough videos attempting to summarize the plot of NGE exist on the internet to make giving the rundown here an exercise in redundancy. All you need to know is that the protagonist’ name is Shinji and that he’s a mental-wreck with Daddy Issues who pilots a giant cyborg infused with the soul of his dead Mom to fight surrealist alien abominations and gains an increasingly screwed up social life doing so, all while his already fragile psyche gradually declines to world-ending consequences. For far less fatalistic takes on some of these concepts, please see RahXephon and Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann. Good? Good. Let’s move on.

The original ADV Films dub of Neon Genesis Evangelion and its sequels and spin-offs is… not really flawless, to say the least, but it did a good job in introducing the series to a western audience while staying entirely true to the themes and intentions of the original version. This is definitely at least partially thanks to the fact that director and auteur of the series, Hideaki Anno, personally oversaw the translation and dubbing process, and while the guy in all honesty doesn’t really know the first thing about voice acting – his performance as Jiro in The Wind Rises is one of the reasons it’s my least favorite Ghibli movie – what he does understand is his own work, and what it should convey to the audience in order to be authentic to his vision. So while I do have my issues with the ADV dub, such as poor audio-quality and hopeless cases of overacting caused by poor voice direction in certain parts, the translated script of the series was as stellar as could be expected from something created with the original author’s input, and to the very end of the original 26 episodes run, one can definitely feel the deep, emotional investment every single member of the English cast had in these characters and their journey. (I mean. Just listen to Spike Spencer’s secret rant in the end of the last episode. The dude clearly cares about what happens to Shinji.) In any case, this is probably one of the most influential, iconic dubs to all of the English-speaking Anime Fandom.

Then Netflix decided to license NGE. Not the ADV Dub. Just the show.

People were not happy.

2.) The Rebuild of Netflixgelion

Please do not mistake what I’m saying for pedantic. The iconic nature of the original ADV dub of NGE cannot be understated, and plays a huge role in the current lack of acceptance for the Redub, even though previous similar redubbing efforts, such as in the case of Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon, where welcomed by the community wholeheartedly. The new dub cast is absolutely stellar, including voice acting veterans such as Carrie Keranen and Erica Lindbeck, and Casey Mongillo’s amazing vocal range goes a long way to replicate and convey the emotional depth of Shinji Ikari in a way previously only seen in Megumi Ogata’s original Japanese performance.However, while the Netflix dub has a wonderful cast and voice direction, what it does not have is the original dub’s Hideaki Anno-approved script.

…Aaaaand, this is where the real troubles start.

To be totally clear, the redub always meant trouble. The original voice cast were reportedly never given a real chance to reprise their roles- despite efforts made by the main trio, Spike Spencer, Amanda Winn Lee and Tifanny Grant to at least be given a chance to audition – which is a surefire recipe for upsetting a lot of fans. However, this is a problem that could have at least been partially smoothed over after allowing the performances of the new cast to shine in their own right. I mean, even if it is incredibly scummy to not even inform the old cast of the auditions for the redub, if the new version proves to contain superior performances and direction in comparison to the, honestly badly-aged ADV dub, then Netflix’s decision to make an entirely new dub is entirely understandable, right?

No such arguments can be applied to the retranslation of the show’s script.

3.) The End of Authorial Intent

I haven’t rewatched the entire show in the new dub, just two key episodes. That said, I wouldn’t dream of calling the new script ‘bad’. It’s, for the most part, natural and faithful to the original Japanese source text in much the same way the ADV dub was, to the point that some stray lines received identical translation in both versions. What gives the new script away as entirely unrelated to that of the ADV dub, however, are some rather… baffling localization choices.

All of those decisions are rooted in the original Japanese script. They’re not incorrect translations. If the Japanese were to be your only point of reference, there would be no reason to complain about these choices.

But we do have a point of reference. The ADV script. Which was overseen and approved by Hideaki Anno. The original director.

In the making of this video, I have since learned that Anno’s animation company, Khara, was most likely involved in the translation of the script for the Redub. However, as I can’t find any evidence that he himself was involved, the point I am about to make still stands:

Back in the 90s, very shortly after the show concluded its original run, Anno personally signed off on every single choice the ADV dub made. The respective pronunciations of Nerv, Seele and Gehirn, calling the EVA pilots by the correct singular “Child”, rather than the awkward Engrish singular “Children” the original Japanese featured, and referring to the enemies consistently as Angels, even in parts where the original Japanese mixed up the terminology for the sake of a pun with Kaworu’s name.

So, all of the ADV localization changes are within the intent of the original author. They are part of how the show is meant to be consumed by a western audience. Not carrying over this terminology, despite it being faithful to the Japanese script, thus ironically makes the Netflix script LESS faithful to Anno’s authorial intent than the ADV dub. But those are only terminology changes, right? They’re not a big deal. They don’t alter the context of the narrative itself.

…

Kaworu Nagisa.

4.) Kaworu Nagisa

Remember how I mentioned that I only really watched two episodes of the Netflix dub all the way through so far? Well, one of those two episodes happens to be one of the series’ most infamous, right after the two-part finale: Episode 24. “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door”, or “The Final Messenger” – Let’s not get hung up on which it is, Evangelion has ALWAYS been weird with titles.

This Episode introduces Kaworu Nagisa, the fifth of the EVA pilots and long-time fangirl-favorite for not-so-subtle reasons. Kaworu appears as Shinji is at his lowest point, our main protagonist’s already pretty much non-existent self-esteem in shambles. The two boys bond immediately over… the fact that Kaworu can sing ‘Ode to Joy’? Yeah, let’s go with that – And the majority of the episode consists of showcasing the growing relationship between Kaworu and Shinji, beginning with simple conversations, but quickly progressing into some more… serious territory.

I won’t sugarcoat things, in terms of narrative structure, the episode is a mess, rushing from scene to scene with reckless abandon, attempting to successfully tell a story in under 25 minutes, that some Disney Movies don’t tell right in 90+ minutes. This is doubtlessly due to the overall mess that NGE’s production process had become at this point in its original run for reasons too complicated to talk about in this video, but let me assure you that there’s pretty solid evidence that Kaworu was definitely originally meant to appear for much more than a single episode. As it stands, however, he dies in the same episode he is introduced, begging Shinji to assist him in his suicide after revealing himself to him as the final Angel. His effect on Shinji, however, is profound and comparable to the effect Nia Teppelin of Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann has on that show’s protagonist, Simon Giha. In that way, just as with Nia later, it is plain as day that Kaworu is intended to be one of Shinji’s love interests. And the episode is NOT subtle at all in portraying him as such.

A lot can be said about the exact nature of Kaworu’s affection for Shinji, from Kaworu clearly seeing Shinji as some sort of avatar for humanity as a whole on which he projects his admiration for the species, to Shinji seemingly falling victim to an idealized Oedipus Complex in regards to his perception of Kaworu, the fact remains that their interactions with one another in Episode 24 are in places obviously romantic to even sexual in not only the dialogue, but also the visuals. Even with Hideaki Anno’s profession that Shinji’s romantic feelings for Kaworu aren’t “carnal”, they’re still obviously there. Projected and skewed by their unusual psyches as aspects of it may be, the relationship between them is clearly portrayed in a way that transcends the platonic and becomes intimate more quickly than your seafood friends can start singing ‘kiss the guy’ on a romantic boat ride – It’s not subtext, you guys. Towards Shinji Ikari, Kaworu Nagisa acts and speaks quite openly like one would speak to a lover. And even if Kaworu and his ambiguous humanity are somehow not gay enough for you, well, resident violently blushing and stuttering smitten wreck Shinji Ikari will put your doubts to rest. The visual homosexual (homoromantic?) tension in these scenes is so tangible, you can cut it with a knife. The dialogue, at certain points, doesn’t even really matter. Kaworu could quite literally be reading off the grocery list, and these scenes would STILL be gay.

That doesn’t mean the dialogue is not important, and that one shouldn’t really, really pay attention to what’s on screen when translating.

5.) The Final Angel is in the Detail

The translation of Kaworu’s words to Shinji in the Netflix dub is not wrong. But it ignores the context of the scene, as well as authorial intent. And that’s why I understand why people are angry at it.

The lines in question are these :

(Scene 1)

Kaworu: そう、好意に値することよ。

Shinji: 好意？

Kaworu:「好き」ってこと、さ

(Scene 2)

Shinji: カヲル君が「好きだ」って言ってくれたんだ。僕のこと。初めて…初めて人から「好きだ」って言われたんだ。

In the ADV dub, these lines were translated like this:

(Scene 1)

Kaworu: This is worth earning my empathy.

Shinji: Empathy?

Kaworu: I’m saying “I love you.”

(Scene 2)

Shinji: Kaworu said that he loved me. I’ve never... felt such kindness before.

In the Netflix dub, however, they were translated like this:

(Scene 1)

Kaworu: Yes, you’re worthy of my grace.

Shinji: Your grace?

Kaworu: I’m saying “I like you.”

(Scene 2)

Shinji: Kaworu said I was worthy of his grace. That was the first time... someone told me they liked me.

Which one of these is right? The fact is… both are.

The Japanese term “ 好き ” doesn’t really have a direct equivalent in English. It holds a connotation that is meant to convey very personal, but broadly defined affection. It doesn’t simply mean “to like something”. It means to feel a strong, positive, emotional connection to that person of thing. For that reason, this term can be used to profess affection to your friends, your family, your favorite item… Or as a love-confession.

In Japan, love-confessions using “ 好き ” are a lot, lot more common than the much, much stronger term “愛する”, let alone the implicitly sexual term “恋する”. In most romance Manga, “ 好き ” will be the term of choice the heroine uses to confess her love to her object of affection. And though, via character analysis, a strong argument can be made that when Kaworu uses “ 好き ” to express his affection for Shinji, he means general affection towards Shinji’s humanity more than personal, romantic affection, this is clearly not how Shinji takes Kaworu’s words. To Shinji, what Kaworu said in that moment, definitely sounded like a confession of romantic devotion, which becomes very, very clear when Shinji later tells Misato:

Shinji: 初めて人から「好きだ」って言われたんだ。

With the line being translates as “I like you”, this statement of Shinji sounds like pure delusion, which wouldn’t be out of character for him, of course, but isn’t at all what the episode is trying to get across. Of course people have told Shinji before they ‘like’ something about him! That’s a big part of the reason he started defining himself through his status as pilot of EVA Unit 01; his efforts earned him praise from those around him. He had friends for most of the series, at least implicitly, these people have definitely expressed a ‘liking’ for him. So by translating “好き” as “like” in this context, a whole layer of the statement is lost, and Shinji professing that this was the first time anybody has ever said that they “like” him sounds less like a serious revelation about his character, and more like his typical, delusional whining about how the world hates him.

And I think that’s why Anno signed off on the ADV dub translating the line as “I love you” rather than “I like you”. Because the point of this line is not Shinji thinking that Kaworu is the only person who’s ever tolerated his presence. It’s that Shinji feels like Kaworu was the first person to ever have a genuine, emotional connection to him. Something he’s never allowed himself to have, due to the series’ often cited theme of Hedgehog’s Dilemma.

And, as correct as translating “ 好き ” as “like” is, a whole dimension of Episode 24 of NGE is entirely lost if you choose to translate Kaworu’s lines that way. As much sense as it technically makes.

The Netflix dub of NGE, by all measures known to me, is a very well-acted, well-directed, well-translated version of a classic piece of Animation History. I am not telling anyone that it is in any way bad or even inferior to the original, and I am not telling anyone to avoid it.

All I am saying is, that if you, as a translator, have access to references regarding authorial intent you should probably use them.

#netflix evangelion #neon genesis evangelion #shin seiki evangerion #Kaworu Nagisa #Neni Talks #Neni Theory #Lost in Context

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hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger · 5 years ago

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Spider-Man 2099 v3 #10-12 Thoughts

So...this was quite the hiatus....

We need to get some business out of the way.

First of all life conspired against me so I didn’t manage to read through PAD’s more modern 2099 work in time for the latest 2099 issue of ASM. Maybe I won’t even get it done in time for the 2099 Alpha issue that’s coming up. But I’m going to try my best and hopefully cover that material before the Omega issue wraps things up.

Second of all I should acknowledge that technically I covered issue #10 waaaaaaaaaaaaay back in 2016.

However to speed things up I’ve decided to do posts for each arc rather than going issue by issue so we’re sort of covering issue #10 again. Looking back I was rather harsh on that story. I don’t know if I’d feel the same way if I talked about it now given this is my second read through of these issues (I just stopped doing posts after issue #10). I must also admit because I’m reading an arc in it’s entirety as a result my feelings have changed a little bit.

As an arc unto itself it’s far from the mediocre grade I gave it way back in 2016.

I really enjoyed it actually. The standard complaints regarding Miguel’s costume and the standard praise for the art still apply of course.

But I feel this book was delivering more of what I and I feel many other 2099 fans wanted in the first place. Miguel, in the future, fighting villains from there and/or future versions of the Spider-Man villains.

On a purely fanservice level this arc delivers on that. Seeing a 2099 spins (and good ones at that) of Doc Ock, Electro and Sandman was a lot of fun as PAD struck a good balance between making them different yet familiar.

He also delivered on some fan service for old school 2099 readers by not only reintroducing Venom 2099 (a highlight of the original 90s run) but also revealing Goblin 2099 as Father Jennifer.

For those unaware, back in the original 1990s run of Spider-Man 2099 the villainous Goblin 2099 was introduced with a mystery identity, much as is the case with Goblin villains in Spider-Man. Peter David originally intended Goblin to be revealed as the pre-established character Father Jennifer but after he abruptly left editorial and fill-in shenanigans occurred which altered those plans. Then there were retcons to what those shenanigans were saying the Goblin was and it was all a big mess.

The irony being that it echoed the mess the Hobgoblin’s identity became in the 1980s, when his original creator Roger Stern abruptly left Spider-Man without revealing his identity and replacements and retcons (some involving PAD himself) turned it into a clusterfuck.

Years after the fact and now using an alternate timeline version of the character PAD took the opportunity to clean things up and go with the original and more logical plan...which is also ironically exactly what Roger Stern did in Hobgoblin Lives when he unveiled Hobby as his original choice too.

Now here is the thing from my own personal relationship with the 2099 imprint.

I LIKE it...but I’m not that knowledgeable on it. Not even the Spider-Man stuff. Seriously I’ve only actually read the first trade of Spidey 2099, everything else I know comes from reading info books, or Wikis or simply osmosis. What I’ve heard mostly interested me and sounded cool and I really hope to check it out properly one day, but I’ve never actually read the run myself. It’s a testament to PAD’s writing, Sliney’s art and the designs and concept of the 2099 Sinister Six that I enjoyed this arc as much as I did in spite of having very little knowledge about any of them.

This is something of a double edged sword though. Whilst I was geeking out over the Father Jennifer reveal, I cannot imagine that it’d mean all that much to newer readers. Remember this comic came out in 2016 and was spun out of Superior Spider-Man. Surely the intention on Marvel’s part was that there would hopefully be a large number of people who were buying this even without the nostalgia factor in play?

The Father Jennifer reveal was one of the better handled examples, it wasn’t played as a big shock or a big payoff in the story so it’d mean something to fans in the know but newer readers wouldn’t be scratching their heads. That’s not true of other elements though like Payback and Firelight. I had no idea who those characters were and had to look them up. In doing so I found out that Father Jennifer preached out of St. Patrick’s Cathedral which turned up back in the Inhumans/Glorianna arc of 2099. See what I mean, you get more out of this book if you are already familiar with the 90s 2099 stuff.

And for a lot of this series that’s not been a problem, it’s still been accessible, but, especially in this volume of the series, PAD has every so often been taking reader’s familiarity with that material for granted.

In a way as far as reviewing it is concenred I’m in this weird limbo position where I know enough to catch some references but am also in the dark. So I’m not the ideal audience PAD is going for but I’m also not enough of a novice to be able to walk into this cold and determine how well it works.

All I can tell you is...I personally liked it a lot.

I always wanted this book to be set in the future and the fact that PAD has taken us there twice now (the first time being Spider-Verse) tells me he probably did too.

But the status quo he set up, wherein Miguel must work in the past to fix the future and literally take trips to the future to check the impact of his changes, is a ingenius way of working in the 2099 characters and concepts of old in spite of the main setting being the present day.

This arc is the best example thus far of that, and the reveal that Tyler Stone (arguably Miguel’s original nemesis in the 90s run) is in charge of the Fist (the current ongoing villains) is the best example within this arc.

I am also getting the impression that Miguel is growing more and more...unhinged. A little too obsessed with bringing down the Fist. Colour me intrigued.

Also as a side note, the story makes reference to everything turning to shit in 2019 (partially due to debate regarding the Second Amendment no less) which is not only ironic given when I’m reading this, but also it makes me wonder if Spencer might be tapping into this arc for the upcoming 2099 event!

#Spider-Man #Spider-Man 2099 #Marvel 2099 #Miguel O'Hara #Sinister Six #The Sinister Six #Sinister Six 2099 #Venom #venom symbiote #Venom 2099 #Doctor Octopus 2099 #Goblin 2099 #Electro 2099 #Electro #Sandman #Sandman 2099 #Vulture Vulture 2099 #The Vulture #Lyla

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burtlederp · 5 years ago

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My OCs (A Masterpost)

So, you wanna get to know my OCs, eh? Great! That’d make my day! I appreciate your interest more than you know! :) I have a lot of OCs, I will admit, many more than will ever show up here on tumblr. I will only include, in this post, those that have had drabbles written about them and/or people have expressed interest in. The current number of OCs featured on my tumblr is 12; Milo, Anton, Jackson, Valerie, Elias, Risa, Samson, Cindy, Moe, Damien, and Marcelo.

Character bios are below the read more, because, trust me, there is a LOT more to read!

Milo’s Story: A Complete and Utter Mess

Milo O’Malley He’s lean, he’s definitely not mean, and he’s nearly exactly five feet of skin and bone and little else. Beaten down repeatedly through his life, this kid (who doesn’t even look like a kid anymore) resigned himself to a life of harsh, relentless work until his body inevitably gives out on him when he turns 26. Oh, except, it seems a very powerful tiger sprite is trying to possess his body, and he actually doesn’t want to die. And he’s been “adopted” by a giant pick-axe wielding dad-friend named Jackson, who also insists he lives on. Milo isn’t much of a looker, not anymore, with a gaunt, ghoul-like face, dull green eyes, and a shaved head (easier to keep clean when you don’t really have a place to get clean). He is, as I mentioned earlier, five feet tall, thanks to malnutrition through his early years, and dangerously thin. He’s of Irish descent, though his pale skin has long become a sickly gray. After living with Jackson for a while though, his red hair’ll grow out a bit and he’ll get back some of that snow-white European paper skin. As far as he knows, Milo is straight, but he’s never really been in a relationship before. Milo’s Playlist

Jackson Pitolua Jackson is the ideal dad-friend. He’s kind, he’s caring, protective, intelligent, and has a witty sense of humor. He’s been through some very rough times in his life, has had his fair share of terrifying, nightmare-inducing experiences, but this refining fire has left him who he is, and he doesn’t soon forget it. Not all his emotional wounds have completely healed, though, but at least his coping mechanism is seeking to help others as much as possible. As much as he’s grown, he’s still young, and he still hungers for adventure, doing so regularly as both a hobby and a profession. This has led him to meeting and literally adopting Anton, and figuratively adopting Milo. In terms of physical descriptions, Jackson is 6-feet-10-inches and over 200 lbs of pure muscle, with short black hair, a large nose, warm brown eyes, and wide smile missing at least one tooth. His Polynesian descent grants him darker skin, and he’s gotten his fair share of tribal tattoos, with one climbing up his arm to just under his left ear, and another adorning his right leg. His adventuring has led him to be in need of a patron, and so he has chosen one, his allegiance to his Samoan goddess of choice emblazoned all over his back. If he were to be put into any Dungeons & Dragons class, it would be barbarian, because he favors little armor and wields a pickaxe that weighs twice or perhaps even thrice that of Milo. Jackson is straight. Jackson’s Playlist

Anton (Pitolua) Anton is a bit different from others, in that he is not human. He’s from a race of humanoids known as the Night People, carnivorous humans with a very base, tribalistic society. Anton left it in a heartbeat to go with Jackson when he was around the age of 17, after hearing all the wonderful, magical things the modern world had. Anton had his first taste of indoor life and decided he would never go outside ever again. Jackson didn’t allow for this, but Anton has remained rather partial to his static, sustained environments. Anton is a strange one in terms of personality, having lived in a competitive survival situation his whole life and suddenly plopped into one where everyone’s on fair ground. He’s picked up the english language quickly, but he’s still working on his mannerisms, so he can often come off rather cold or harsh, but he means well. He’s protective of his new family, and would give his life for them in a second. Appearance-wise, I am still undecided. I’ve sketched multiple designs, but I haven’t found one that I really enjoy yet. Some features I have decided on though are sharp claws instead of nails, sharp teeth, clawed, long-toed feet with rotating ankle joints and opposable thumbs. Distinguishing features for Anton specifically are his long, black hair and the long scar down his left arm from a nasty fall he took in his youth. Anton, sexually-speaking, is very young and not sure about anything and, for now, forbidden from the act of it by Jackson, who’s nervous he might take after the rather… animalistic sexual habits of his people. Luckily, Anton plays Fortnite and doesn’t get out a lot, so Jackson doesn’t need to worry too much (yet).

Valerie Floraison A wood elf in a modern world, Valerie was raised mostly in Detroit with her nine sisters. Their family made trips back and forth between home and their parents’ home in another realm throughout her childhood so she could still retain her culture. Her family struggled financially all her life, a combination of poor decisions and bad luck, when left Valerie hungry for a life outside of the projects. She moved to D.C. after graduating top of her class at a college in the other realm, and joined the newly-publicized Magic Affairs Agency, becoming head of resource management in no time. She’s got a fiery, stubborn spirit about her, and it’s easy to see her as shallow and materialistic, but she really does care about people. Well, except maybe Jackson. Her sister was engaged to Jackson, and died fighting with him against a manticore. Valerie blames Jackson for her sister’s death. She’s not quite over it yet. As courtesy of her job and career, she’s quite good at wearing a pleasant face, even when she may or may not desire to strangle you. She has a habit of getting a bit physical when angry, never anything beyond a slap, and she does tend to feel bad about it afterwards. Valerie is almost exactly 6 feet tall, with a thin and willowy figure. She has those long elf-ears, which bear a moderate number of piercings each. She has darker skin with long, wavy black hair that’s usually down, falling over her shoulders, and purple eyes. She favors the finer things in life, so it’s rare that you’ll ever see her out of a dress or not wearing heels. On her left hand is a small rune she had tattooed there that grants a permanent illusion perfectly-applied make-up on her face (no, this did not come cheap). Valerie, in college, double-majored in finances and illusion magic, with a minor in magical cloth manipulation. If she’s not wearing Gucchi, she’s wearing her own couture.

Elias and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Life

Elias Benson Native to the lands of Utah, Elias has never really had an outstanding good time in his life. His family never liked him and kicked him out of the house before he was a legal adult, which resulted in him moving across the country on his own before he was really ready. He’s had relationships before too, and none of them were healthy. He’s a gentle soul, but the world hasn’t really given him a chance to prove it, so he’s turned out to be a bit of a punk, and a lot of an idiot. Even so, he’s a truly good person, even if his language (and observable intelligence) belies it. Elias, before he meets the bounty hunter Risa, is about 5”9, and is pretty gaunt. He’s not quite Milo-levels of emaciation, but he’s not exactly looking great either at around 130 lbs. He’s got short, curly brown hair and big, green eyes, and a little nose stud on the left side. Bruises around his neck were pretty much perpetual from his girlfriend. He also was never terribly clean, so he was usually kinda grungy. After meeting Risa, things more or less took a sharp 180–he got and stayed clean, and bumped his weight up to almost 200 lbs through healthy diet and strict workout regimen. If he gave thought to it and knew it was a thing, he’d identify as asexual or straight.

Elias’ Playlist

Risa Literally out of this world, I like to describe her as a psychopath who accidentally gave herself a soul–because she kinda did. She’s from another planet in the future in a different universe, and was originally a complete sociopath. Not the “mwahaha I like murder because it’s fun” kinda thing, but she just didn’t feel things the same way or at all as other people, literally incapable of most emotions. She was wicked smart though, and after many years of learning about machines and how to be a witch, she complete switched her weak, fleshy body for a metal one and a computer chip brain. Due to an error on her part, however, this robot brain opened up neural pathways for her to experience and use emotions other than want and annoyance. Not that that slowed down her bounty hunting career in the slightest. She’s a planeswalker of sorts, meaning that she’s particularly good at finding her way around the multiverse, and takes advantage of it and the many job opportunities presented because of it. She’s a grade-A badass, also a bit op, and she’s lets people know it. She (kidnapped? Adopted? Enslaved? Took in? There is no good word for how she got Elias) got Elias as her henchman because she was bored and accidentally got attached. Risa is cold, calculating, greedy, and apathetic unless there’s money in it for her. She also has a sense of humor and sarcasm that usually smacks harder than a bullwhip. When she’s not on a job or in a rush, she can also be incredibly, horribly, awfully petty, and takes advantage of her often-if-not-always superior resources to smack down her enemies like flies. She’s a very practical person, and will always choose the most logical pathway in any situation. Risa is lesbian, but the only people she’s ever been attracted to in any way at all is her computer wife Carol, and a giant, sentient, anti-orbital gun she met once on a distant world. Risa is the most difficult to describe in words for me. She’s designed her body to be lightweight but incredibly strong, with minor force manipulation. Thanks to a very expensive coat of paint and arrangement of parts inside her, if she goes ten minutes without direct observation, she becomes completely invisible and partially intangible. She’s not powered by fusion or fission, but rather, a captured god that resides in an enchanted jar in her chest cavity. Her body lacks a lot of humanistic features, being mostly a very smooth, rounded head with antennae on either side that resemble ears, and often move like them too. It wasn’t until she got Elias that she finally installed a proper mouth on herself as well. Risa’s Playlist

Samson Callidan Samson is a very gentle soul who speaks softly, and tends to not speak for long either. He’s wise and observant and a very good listener, because likely, no matter who you are, he cares, at least a little. He had a harsh mother who taught him whats-what, growing up in deep Texas. He has the ability to force people to do as he says, as long as he’s commanding them, like a built in command spell from D&D. Luckily, his mother knew him better than he realized and she was always able to stuff something in his mouth and taught him that his power wasn’t to be misused. Samson is not a young man anymore, but is old, and his parents would say he’s been old since he was about twelve. He’s a religious man, a devout member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, though he didn’t join until well into his twenties, after mission age. He still has done his fair share of traveling, and some of it he even enjoyed. One trip into another realm left him handicapped, with only one functioning eye, and he’d say in a heartbeat that that was the worst time in his life. Luckily, his second wife, Cindy, thinks eyepatches look cool. He and Cindy live alone, way up in the mountains of Utah in a tiny little cabin he and she built together. They have had no kids together, but he plays grandfather to Cindy’s children from a previous marriage of hers. Samson is a gentle giant, roughly 6’’5 and of various European descent. He has tan, leathery skin, with a kind, gray eye, and his hair has long-since grayed, though once it had been a lovely gold. He’s built thick, with a strong figure that Cindy keeps filled out, and despite his age, he’s retained a generous portion of strength from his youth. He’s got a large scar that stretches across his face, going over his left eye, nose, and just barely missing his mouth. His nose, once handsome, is disfigured at the tip, and his eye is a badly-healed, still-freshly scarred pit in his eye socket, though one does not usually see it beneath his eyepatch.

It’s Too Damn Cold To Be A Superhero Today

Damien Lowry Yet another upcycled character, I’m still kinda pulling off the cobwebs and dusting him off, so his backstory may be subject to change. But, as a person, Damien is stubborn as a mountain, and the kind of person whose idea of ‘relaxation’ is more work, but work he wants to do. He’s pretty easy to get along with, but he won’t tell you if he doesn’t like you, he’ll just avoid you. He bounced between homes as a child, traded constantly between his sweet-yet-frail grandparents, his constantly sick or injured mother, or his perpetually drunk father. He’s pretty quiet, a result of too much time spent alone, or too many voices in his head. The voices, fortunately, give him a handful of powers to use as he pleases, and he does so, wielding them under the guise of the superhero, the Alchemist, so named for his ability to summon substances at will. Unfortunately, the power is very specific, and Damien never graduated highschool, so chemistry is a bit foreign to him. But he manages. Damien is mostly only interested in women, a couple men catching his eye throughout his life, but nothing ever really progressed further than crushes, and he’s never had a steady relationship. Damien stands at roughly 5’‘10, and while he’s not starving or emaciated, he’s still on the skinny side, but is deceivingly strong. He has some Native American in him, giving him darker features, including brown eyes and shaggy, usually un-kept black hair. His teeth are noticeably crooked and slightly yellowed, so he usually doesn’t smile with his teeth. He’s built sturdy, and hey, maybe someday he’ll fill it out.

Marcelo Blackwood Marcelo is, honestly, not that different from most super villains. He’s disgustingly rich, wicked smart, and seeks power. He does take the path less traveled from here though, because Marcelo is not mean nor conniving nor evil. He’s a rather nice mayor of a small town in Alaska that’s best well known for having the only superhero in upper North America. The superhero’s name is the Alchemist, and he has but one main foe: the Roman. Who is the Roman? Marcelo is the Roman. By day, he plays the role of the town mayor, a kind, courteous fellow with more money than he knows what to do with, and by night, he is a super villain, blowing things up and robbing banks. What is his motivation? Well, it’s his hobby. Keeps things interesting. His wife is his greatest supporter and literally his partner in crime. Marcelo is, despite all this, a very kind person. He’s very smart, he’s patient, and tries to do his best by the citizens of his town. Even when he’s playing the role of the Roman, he avoids true wanton destruction or harming innocents, bystanders, and law enforcement. Mayor Blackwood is 6’‘10, with pale skin, piercing blue eyes, and always well-styled black hair. He has a perfect nose, a nice jawline, and is all around a strikingly handsome fellow. He may be in his late thirties, but it’s hard to tell. The mayor is always dressed well, rarely dressed down any lower than business casual, and all his clothes are custom-tailored. As the Roman, he wears boots with thick soles so that he is 7 feet tall, and wears a expertly-made and expertly-applied fake beard under his Roman centurion helmet. The helmet also has a visor to further hide his identity.

A Menagerie of Disasters (Everyone Else)

Moe Moe is an older character of mine, and for the writing blurb I used him in, I was really recycling him just for the specific scene in mind. As of now, there isn’t much to say about him. He’s a pained, mentally-distressed individual with a very rowdy demon trapped in his mind.

---

That’s all, folks!

#my ocs #my ocs (a masterpost)#masterpost #oc masterpost #burtlederp writes #burtlederp's characters #burtlederp's kids #a menagerie of disasters #all of them #burtlederp #burtlederp posts

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aeducanka · 5 years ago

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OC Profile Meme

Thanks for the tag to the wonderful @gingerbreton!

I decided to go with my precious darling, Em!

(A part of my birthday present from wonderful Annorelka. Go follow her on deviantArt or Instagram! She is an amazing artist that you need in your life.)

________________________________________________________________

PHYSICAL

Name: Emerald Aeducan.

Nickname: to most people she is either Emerald or Em but when she was a child, her relatives used to call her "Emmie" (even in the Prologue Trian was still using this nickname in a condescending manner). To Sten Emerald is simply "Warden". Alistair, Zevran, Morrigan and Oghren sometimes call her "Princess" and only the context says whether the intention was playful or hurtful.

Age: 23 at the time of her recruitment to the Grey Wardens, had her 24th birthday slightly over a month later.

Species: dwarf (Orzammar).

Morality: (at the time of Prologue) self-proclaimed lawful good, (after the Prologue) self-proclaimed neutral good. It is debatable whether she is truly good or just a neutral with a strong inclination to do good, especially to the people she cares about.

PERSONAL

Religion: officially she believes in the Stone and you cannot prove otherwise.

That being said, she is a chief supporter ONLY of the reformed "church" of the Stone - the foundation stays the same, but the principles are as follows: good people enrich the Stone, assholes weaken it, and your nobility will not save you from the Stone's scrutiny SO YOU BETTER BE NICE.

Sins: greed/gluttony/sloth/lust/PRIDE/~envy~/wrath.

Emerald's greatest fault is her pride. Although the time spent in exile made her, more or less, aware of her shortcomings and able to express genuine humility (or even self-deprecation of sorts), Emerald, deep down, is convinced of her superiority to ALMOST EVERYONE. She knows that she is awesome, she has the papers to prove it, and even if she does not flaunt her superiority in your face, you still ~know~ that she judges you in the categories "If I were you, I would never make any of your mistakes". She goes to great lengths to change it as the Queen.

Virtues: chastity/ CHARITY/ DILLIGENCE/ humility/ KINDNESS/ ~patience~/ ~JUSTICE~.

Ooh, it is a tricky one since Emerald does her best to project an idealized version of herself. That being said, her humility is more often than not depression-induced so it does not really count. Her first marriage was very chaste, but then she did not love her husband and so I would not count is as genuine chastity. She may appear patient but she is still very much struggling with it. She is also very just for someone raised as a spoiled noblewoman, but due to her sheltered life, I feel that she has still a lot to learn.

Known languages: her mother tongue is Common as spoken in Orzammar.

As Orzammar is a fairly isolationist kingdom, I cannot say how much impact there was on the princess learning foreign languages. A language nerd myself, I like to think that Emerald knows at least a little bit of Orlesian (due to Orlais being Orzammar's best trading partner) and Tevene (due to the dwarven minority living there), but it is purely my speculation. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

For sure Emerald picks up random words and phrases from Leliana, Zevran and Sten - partially because she is a nerd but mostly because she knows that ~being more understood~ would make them happy.

Build: scrawny/bony/slender/fit/ATHLETIC/~curvy~/herculean/pudgy/plus size/average.

A friend of mine saw Queen Emerald take off her shirt in the shower, and she said that Queen Emerald had an eight pack, that Queen Emerald was shredded.

(She seems curvy only to a non-dwarven eye, though. To dwarves her charms are only slightly above average.)

Height: ???

Scars/Birthmarks: information classified! She was lucky enough not to receive any scars that would be difficult to hide with casual clothing, though.

Abilities/Powers:

1. She is a born diplomat and a pacifist who will do her best to resolve a conflict without unnecessary bloodshed.

2. She is well-versed in Orzammar's politics and her unshakable composure attests to it.

3. She makes excellent first impressions and can befriend people easily.

4. She is a good leader and advisor.

5. She makes for an empathetic friend who can listen to you rant for hours.

6. She is a good tactician and I firmly believe that she could beat Cullen in chess.

7. She is a trained warrior, by Landsmeet physically stronger than Alistair, who relies both on her smarts, her dexterity and strength.

8. She draws fun and happiness from the world's most boring hobbies which surely must be a some kind of witchcraft.

9. She shares Alistair's sense of humour, enough said.

Restrictions:

1. Her reputation of a fratricidal ex-princess makes any negotiations in Orzammar kind of difficult.

2. She speaks very posh which triggers some people's *Oghren, cough, Oghren* bratty princess alert.

3. Despite being well-versed in politics, she is a bit too idealistic, too merciful, and she used to trust her family members blindly.

4. Her composure does not really falter even among friends which gives off an impression that she is keeping distance... which she is, but not to THAT extent.

5. She is an excellent advisor… until she becomes frustrated because her advice is not listened to and her input is ignored.

6. She is good at listening to people for long periods of time, but if it is not important, she may not give the rant her full attention (getting just enough gist not to be accused of ignoring the person and dismissing the most of it when it is no longer useful).

7. She does not step up for a leadership position, despite her qualifications, unless the circumstances literally force her to do so.

8. As much as tactics go, she is miserable with games other than chess because either she will not realize that her opponent is a cheater (Isabella, round 1) or, which is worse, she will not be able to prove that her opponent is cheating (Isabella, round 2).

9. She is smart and well-trained but not very inspired as a warrior. She could be defeated by stronger people, more dexterous people, smarter people, luckier people or people who, like Kallista Tabris, are very dedicated to their craft.

FAVOURITES:

Food: anything that hails from Orzammar! Nothing makes you long for your local cuisine better than a bitter exile. Also, she would not put herself above eating a nug. Sorry, Leliana!

Pizza topping: (modern AU) corn and mushrooms. Emerald is by no means a vegetarian but she is very picky about meat so in most cases - a vegetarian pizza it is!

Colour: her all-time favourite is purple, but, frankly, Emerald is the embodiment of "Do you like the colour of the sky?" meme. Her exile to the surface made her aware of a brand new palette of colours and she loves them all. That being said, early on her "comfort" colours were the subdued earthy colours of Orzammar.

Music genre: she mostly listens to instrumentals, both in the canon and in the modern AU. She is very picky with songs, though I could see her enjoying a band as “low brow” as ABBA. During her exile she develops a soft spot for Fereldan folk songs and Leliana's Orlesian-Fereldan repertoire.

Movie genre: Emerald is not much of a movie fan. Generally, she does not have time for them. She mostly watches documentaries with some classics/awards nominated movies thrown in for a good measure. She could be persuaded to watch something entirely outside her watching preferences when quality time with friends is the main incentive.

Curse words: Emerald does not cuss, especially not in public, but I think that there are certain dwarven words she says in her thoughts when the situation goes badly.

Scents: Emerald does not like the smell of the rain and she even agrees with Sten about Ferelden smelling like a wet dog, but during her rule there is nothing she misses more.

FUN STUFF:

Bottom or top: that is disgusting. And wrong. I don’t even get- why would- Her Royal Highness has never had sex with anyone, anywhere. It is none of your- you have- the nerve, the audacity, she is the Queen of Orzammar and about to get married. Warden Alistair is her former companion, barely, and he is just awful, humour-wise. And how- how- do I know, frankly, that you are not sleeping with him? Maybe you are. Maybe you are trying to throw me off? Hmm, check and mate.

Sings in the shower: not all all, she is too aware of her lack of singing talent. Sometimes she hums to herself, though.

Likes puns: all kinds of them, with strong preference to Alistair ones, and ability to make almost EXCLUSIVELY the terrible ones.

________________________________________________________________

Phew! It was a long one. Sorry, I have a tendency for writing much more than I should. ^^”

Tagging: @bitchesofostwick, @bluekaddis, @etoilebinaire, @dekudoodle, @lady--revan and @visionmarred (Hi! Reverienne here!), @gingerbreton (Freya? 👀). As always, there is absolutely no pressure!

Tagging back is fine but only at your own risk!

#Dragon Age #Dragon Age Origins #Warden Aeducan #Emerald Aeducan #ask meme #my characters

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misstinfoilhat · 5 years ago

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The Boy in the Belfry Pt. 5, a Bungo Stray Dogs fic.

«So, the preacher is back?» Chuuya mumbled thoughtfully while pouring their drinks, returning into the bedroom where he had propped up the pillows against the wall to help Dazai sit upright.

"Yup," Dazai stated emotionless, accepting the flask and small cup Chuuya had brought him. Quickly, he shot back the liquid from the cup, before throwing it to the side and concentrated his attention directly to the bottle instead.

Chuuya prompted his elbow to his knee, resting his head on a tightly gripped fist.

"Jeeze, you're so unrefined."

"Yup."

The ginger sighed heavily, feeling uneasy by the fact that his former partner wasn't poking back. But considering the circumstances... During the ten or so years since he had known Dazai, the preacher had been the one and only person he had ever seen Dazai actually fear.

And with good reason...

"He sent me a letter," Dazai stated suddenly.

Chuuya's train of thought was abrupted by Dazai's confession.

"A letter?"

Dazai pointed lazily to the jacket he had thrown on the floor. "Right pocket."

Chuuya grabbed the beige coat, but hesitated, as he held the trench coat in his hands.

"Was this Oda's?"

"Right pocket," Dazai said firmly. "Read it before I change my mind."

He didn't want to let it go, so he made a mental note to talk to him about it later. Reaching into the pocket, he picked out a rusty old key and a letter that was partially soaked. He gingerly opened the envelope, making sure that he didn't rip it.

The ink on the page inside had smeared out, but he could still make up most of it.

Dazai. Because of you, the wrath of God is coming. Be ready for your atonement, for I am back. You will be lead to eternal punishment, your righteous eternal life in the flames of the devil's embrace. You have already been denied as His child. Your undying suffering will see no end in this life. His doom has already come upon you. It is time to let God reflect you, so you can truly see yourself once more- the way he has always done. He knows your longings. He knows your anger. He knows that you fear Him.

I set the key of David on thy shoulders. When he opens no one will shut, when he shuts, no one will open.

You know what to do.

May God forgive you

Father

"I don't get it," Chuuya mumbled and looked to Dazai.

"I guess it's not for you to understand."

"Then why the hell did you even call me if you don't want my help?"

Dazai looked away. He was tired, in pain and he felt dizzy.

"Because I didn't want to die on his doorstep," he shrugged, taking another sip of the sake.

For some reason, this angered Chuuya greatly. Was that all it was? Really?

"You know what, fuck you Dazai. I-"

"No, fuck you Chuuya! Fuck you!" Dazai raised his voice and turned back to the smaller man.

"I-I... I don't have the answers, okay? I don't know why he is back, I don't know why he wanted me to come back to Shinja, and I don't know why I did! I don't know what happened when I got up there, and I don't know how I survived, and I don't know why I went back! The only fucking thing I know is that I needed you..." Dazai's voice broke. He cleared his throat. "I... I needed you in this. You're the only one I can talk to..."

He lowered his head in shame. Pained, heavy breaths tore in his chest and he just wanted to hide under his blanket and never come back.

Chuuya stood in the middle of the room, unmoving. This was the first time Dazai had ever raised his voice at him. He couldn't remember him raising his voice to anyone. Not him, not Mori, Oda or Ango. Not even Akutagawa... and certainly not the preacher... He never raised his voice, ever. It was always so gentle. So untouched by anything.

And he felt so grateful to be on the receiving end of his first verbal assult from his former partner, not counting their usual bickering.

Chuuya lowered himself to Dazai's futon. Dazai wouldn't look at him.

"Listen, Dazai..." Chuuya lay an affectionate hand on Dazai's chin and guided his face back up to lock eyes. Dazai was crying. Actually crying.

Another first.

"Please look at me," Chuuya whispered, and finally, Dazai looked up.

Chuuya slapped his face, hard.

Dazai startled by the sudden action. Chuuya ruffled a hand in the unruly mess of dark brown hair.

A sharp pain struck Dazai as his friendemy accidentally leaned his weight on Dazai's broken leg.

He winched and retreated.

"Fuck, I'm so sorry Dazai!" Chuuya seemed frantic. It was out of character for the small man.

Dazai forced a laugh, mostly to reassure Chuuya that it was okay. Both the accidental butt-to-fracture action and the slap.

"Don't worry," Dazai sighed with a faint smile. "I just, I'm not myself right now... I'm too tired."

Chuuya smiled, and sat back beside Dazai, lifting his arm over the slightly younger (by two months and he would not let Dazai forget about it) man's head. Dazai leaned on his shoulder and made an effort to relax.

They kept drinking in silence, both deep in thought. It didn't take long until Dazai passed out from the unfortunate combination of painkillers and alcohol.

Chuuya was leaned back with the former mafioso dozed off with his head rested on his lap. He watched him sleeping, thinking that this would probably be the last time he would see him this relaxed until they found a way to once again get rid of that devil that usually haunted Dazai's sleep.

Unless they couldn't... No, he didn't want to think about that.

It didn't take long before he fell asleep himself.

...

Something itched.

His nose. Chuuya snorted and tried to swap at the fly disturbing his sleep.

Again.

Chuya startled and shook himself out of his haze, ready to crush that fly into oblivion only to be met by... a hand?

"Boop!"

Chuuya looked down. A childish grin was looking back up at him, once again raising his finger to press his nose like you would a button.

"Boop!"

"Dazai... what are you doing?"

"I'm booping your nose," Dazai answered, matter-of-factly.

Chuuya looked at the undoubtedly entertained man-child. The undoubtedly entertained former youngest-ever executive of the port fucking mafia, and the bottle of strong painkillers that was tilted on the side of the bed.

"Boop!"

His former superior.

"Boop!"

"I'm going to kill you!"

...

Kunikida was a man who liked to stick to his routines. Some might call it OCD, but he himself didn't really see it that way. It was just what his ideals were. Having things in order.

Every day he would wake up at five o'clock. He would proceed to take twenty push-ups, twenty sit-ups and run for twenty minutes on the treadmill.

He would drink 1,5 dl of green tea at 170 degrees, and eat a bowl of oatmeal. 1 cup of old-fashioned rolled oats, 2 cups of milk, 1/8 teaspoon of salt, cooked for 7 minutes. This was supposed to happen between 6:00 and 6:30.

He would brush his teeth for two minutes and then floss for one hundred seconds.

If nothing (Dazai) interrupted his ritual, that would mean that he could walk across the parking lot from the dormitories and be at work by exactly 7 o'clock.

Today, that didn't happen.

The long-haired man stopped in the parking lot and looked around. There was supposed to be two cars in the parking lot. There were three.

A large black landrover was parked in one of the usually vacant spots.

Kunikida took a deep breath. 'It's fine,’ he thought too himself. ‘It's probably just someone who doesn't want to pay for parking across the street.'

He kept walking.

'Which means that I, who actually live here, pays for this idiot's parking!'

Kunikida spun back with clenched fists and grinding teeth, ready to leave a very cross note to whoever that stupid idiot thought he... Then he noticed the crutches in the back seat.

Yes, Kunikida was a man who liked to stick to his routines. He liked his life to be planned out and predictable. That, however, didn't mean that it was difficult for him to add two and two together (he used to be a math teacher after all).

He leaped up the stairs to the second-floor patio of their dorms and knocked heavily on Dazai's door until the lock clicked and the door slowly creaked open.

Within seconds, he wrote in his notebook that he had to make Dazai oil the henches of his door.

"Where have you been you bandage wasting-" Kunikida cut himself off at the sight of the small redhead. His white shirt was crumbled and untucked, and black pants had hastily been pulled up as his belt was not buckled.

The short and the tall man looked at each other before some kind of recognition smacked Kunikida across the head.

"You're that Port Mafia ginger-kid!"

Chuuya looked at the speckled man, from his current state of hardly-awake. "I have no idea who you are."

"Where is Dazai-san?" he asked loudly, clearly demonstrating his anger over this situation.

"Shhh," Chuuya hissed agonized and dragged the blonde inside. "He's still sleeping! I swear to God if you wake him- he's the most irritating person I've ever met when he's injur..."

"Chuuyaaa..." A frail voice was heard from the bedroom. "I don't feel well."

Thank God, he seems to be feeling better, Chuuya thought but still cringed at the sound.

Kunikida stomped past the short redhead and into Dazai's bedroom.

"Where the hell have you been, you-" He cut himself off.

Dazai was too pale. He didn't look good at all. He really needed to go back to the hospital.

Kunikida sighed in defeat. He couldn't yell at Dazai right now. The sight of his partner was just too pitiful.

"Dazai-san," he stated in the softest voice he could muster.

"F-Fabio?"

Kunikida had to strain himself not to punch the kid. No punching. He's clearly delirious.

"Dazai, we should go back to the hospital," he smiled stiffly.

"I never really liked the Hanson brothers, you know," he mumbled, trailing off, but still adding, "No offense."

Someday, he was going to kill him. He really was.

"Yeah, he's been acting like this all morning." Chuuya leaned on the doorframe.

"I don't even give a shit why you're here anymore. Would you mind helping me get him to my car?" Kunikida asked.

"Absolutely."

#bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #Dazai Osamu #doppo kunikida #Nakahara Chuuya #protective kunikida #protective chuuya #hurt dazai

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imaginedanganronpa · 6 years ago

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Can you please do some headcanons Ultimate Bodyguard Nekomaru, Police Officer Mahiru, Guitarist Gundam and ???/Forensic Investigator Peko?

I have lots of Talent-Swap Requests in my Inbox, and some of which seem like they may be from the same person (although I might be wrong, it’s fine if it is, though!) so I’m going to split them up into parts and post them on different days. So, this is technically PART 1!

Talent-Swap AU: Ultimate Bodyguard Nekomaru Nidai, Ultimate Police Officer Mahiru Koizumi, Ultimate Guitarist Gundham Tanaka and Ultimate ???/Forensic Investigator Peko Pekoyama!

Ultimate Bodyguard Nekomaru Nidai

Nekomaru’s personality makes him aperfect match for a bodyguard. He is boisterous and selfless, more than willing to put others before himself.

When he was young, he was told he wouldn’t make it very far in life. Nekomaru isn’tthe most intelligent student but he has a fiery personality, driven by passion. Hewould often get mistaken for an upperclassman, or even an adult, when he wasstill young and many people didn’t take him as seriously because of this.People also assumed that he was held back due to his appearance, which simply wasn’t true.

Giving into the pressure, Nekomaru dropped out of school and began working at several odd-jobs – Coaching, Construction, things like that.

He got offered aposition as a Bodyguard even though he didn’t meet the age requirement, based on hisolder appearance. Since he was desperate for the money, he kept his trueage a secret and took the offer.

Of course, Nekomaru couldn’t hide this secret forever and ended up getting caught.Once he was discovered, instead of getting fired he was transferred into Hope’sPeak Academy as the Ultimate Bodyguard.

You see, the man he was hired to protect was the Headmaster of Hope’s Peak, whomNekomaru had grown close to. He wasn’t even sure who the man was since specificdetails about their clients is kept a secret, but he was such a successful Bodyguardand cared enough about his job that he was considered to be the best of thebest and in high-demand, plus his age only influenced this decision. To be such a successful Bodyguard at such a young age was unheard of!

He may seem intimidating and aggressive, but he was actually kind at heart.Nekomaru had a secret soft-spot that many people didn’t get to see, and he suppressedthat side of him from his clients since he didn’t want to be a ‘soft’Bodyguard. For once in his life, people took him seriously and his age worked in his favor.

When the Killing Game started, Nekomaru was one of the first skeptics. It didn’tfeel real until the first murder occurred, and ever since then he vowed to protectthe others.

He was especially drawn towards protecting the females – not in a weird way, butbecause that’s what he felt like he needed to do; it’s what felt right. Nekomaru’s personal life-motto was to protect those who cannot protect themselves, and that’s an ideal he would take to his grave.

He would be the type to give up his life to protect someone. His true emotions were uncovered and his softer, more compassionate side shined through when he vowed to keep the others safe.

Nekomaru wanted nothing more than to end this unforgivable situation, although he wasn’t very helpful during the Trials or Investigations. He contributed as much as possible, but regardless the other Ultimates continued to look up to him for his selfless personality and life-goals.

He also developed a hatred for the Mastermind, or whoever was responsible for this Killing Game.

Ultimate Police Officer MahiruKoizumi

Mahiru has always been a sensibleand determined young woman. When she was a child, she never envisioned thatcrime-fighting would ever be the route she took in life. She more-so wanted to be a public speaker or an activist of some kind.

Her father worked in law-enforcement, though, and encouraged her to give it a shot. Within his experience and stories, Mahiru found inspiration. She had seen how he was able to help so many families recover from tragedies and gain some peace of mind, and realized that that was all she wanted to do in life.

Mahiru passed the Police Academy entrance exam when she was much, much younger than the other cadets. Due to her age and the fact that she was female, which was the vast minority among the cadets, as well as her father getting her into the Academy by sheer luck, many of the others doubted her. This, of course, only fueled her intense desire to succeed and prove to them that she would be able to become an amazing Police Officer as well.

Mahiru loved proving others wrong and was used to others doubting her abilities as a child; there has never been a more successful moment in her life than when she graduated at the top of her class, despite everything everyone said.

She was able to easily coax her suspects into handcuffs without having to try, and had an alluring personality that made them listen to her and turn themselves in.

She used her position as a Police Officer to protect civilians, since that’s why Mahiru got into the profession in the first place. However, she also found herself working with young kids and juveniles, doing her best to act as a counselor and guide them into the right path. Mahiru has a perfect track-record of helping young kids clean their lives up.

But most of all, she is outspoken, courageous, and definitely not a pushover. Mahiru has all of the qualities necessary for a good Police Officer, and her entire community adored her. She seemed like their local hero, and that’s why she gained her Ultimate title.

In the Killing Game, she was much more hesitant to reveal her status as a member of law-enforcement. She didn’t want one of the others to paint a target on her back and be viewed as a threat. Mahiru was in top-physical shape but that may not be enough to stop a determined killer.

She simply assisted with the Investigations as much as possible, working alongside her foster sister, Peko Pekoyama. The two girls were an unmatched team and due to their backgrounds, were able to crack each of the murders with ease.

It pained Mahiru to see her friends fall victim to the senseless Blackened. Her willpower and strong sense of justice was clear during the Trials and she wouldn’t stop until the proper killer got what they deserved. Her experience with Court Room settings seemed to play into her advantage and Mahiru felt extremely comfortable, even when trying to uncover the Blackened. The Executions never bothered her either, and at times she wished she could be the one serving them justice.

But those dark thoughts are exactly what started to get under Mahiru’s skin. Was this Killing Game really turning her into a monster?

Ultimate Guitarist Gundham Tanaka

Gundham grew up with a lonesome childhood. Ever since he was very young, music was his outlet for whenever he was feeling societal pressures. It provided him a place where he felt like he belonged, without fear of judgement.

He had a sickly mother and didn’t bring people over to his house or tell them about her condition because of this. He was also perceived to be a loner-type when he would rush home after school everyday to go to her; due to their perceptions, Gundham eventually adapted the lonesome personality that other’s seemed to bestow onto him.

He always had music to rely on, though, and his favorite instrument had always been the Guitar. He would often play music for his mother, since that was one of the only things she could truly enjoy anymore.

Unfortunately, Gundham got kicked out of his school’s Band for being too eccentric and having asuperiority complex over the other students - which was partially due to his many years of being a reject and having to do everything on his own. With that said, he isn’t a badkid. He may be a bit delusional but a lot of that is an act, because he truly does want to form close bonds and friendships with others.

Due to his independence, Gundham had a lot of free-time to practice the Guitar. His superiority complex flared up again when he became determined to show everyone that he was a phenomenal Guitarist, and shouldn’t have lost his place in Band.

Gundham soon became the youngest student to ever get accepted into an All-County Band, which was supposed to be reserved for adults. His audition was far too impressive to pass up, though, which is what really put him in the spotlight and gained the attention of Hope’s Peak Academy.

With that, he was able to finally show his school what he was truly worth, his attitude worsening as he thought he was ‘too good’ for the others now. This is where Gundham’s Dark Lord or God complex stemmed from.

His music also attracted the attention of animals and almost put them in atrance. He loved sitting outside in nature and strumming along on his Guitar - gaining their friendship almost like a Disney Prince. Despite his personality, he did have a soft spot for animals.

At the start of the Killing Game, Gundham went into denial and didn’t trulybelieve that this was real. He tried playing music for the others to relax them, but that only worked for so long.

He wouldn’t be so easily swayed into committing a murder and was a productive member during the Class Trials. Although, his complex personality caused him to become distant, not wanting to get too close to anyone else and fearing showing vulnerability.

Gundham’s only real reason for wanting to make it out of here was to see his mother again, whom he became increasingly worried about as the Killing Game progressed.

Ultimate ???/Forensic InvestigatorPeko Pekoyama

Peko hasn’t had the easiest life,to say the least. When she was a child, she lost several family members to theJapanese Mafia, and when she was in her preteens she finally connected thedots and realized that her family was part of a shady business deal.

She became a very distant and cynical girl – especially when the Mafia murderedher parents and she was sent to an orphanage home. Her childhood caused Peko to develop a series of unstable mental disorders and she became convinced that no one would ever accept her into their lives.

But remarkably, and to her surprise, she was eventually fosteredby a family who’s father worked in law-enforcement and advised her to, “Use herpast and her hatred as fuel to bring these guys to justice.” Those words resonatedwith Peko and she promised to carry them with her for as long as she lived.

The family’s daughter, a redhead, ended up making it into the Police Academy at a youngage. Peko felt the pressure wanted to make her new foster-family proud of her as well, but knew that law-enforcement wasn’t her scene; that’show she was introduced to Forensics.

She gained the title as an Ultimate when she became the youngest person tobring a serial killer to justice using Forensics alone. She wanted to use hertalent to eventually track down the people who killed her family and do thesame to them.

She had a bit of a twisted mindset and knew it, but masked her true intentions and personality under the clever facade as a Forensic Investigator. Admittedly, she wasn’t the most sane person.

Peko viewed herself as nothing more than a tool for the Police Department. She developed a sense of competition with her foster sister and wanted to find a way to stand out, but often fell short.

That was her motivation for making it out of the Killing Game. Peko wouldn’tallow herself to fall victim in here and used her knowledge of Forensics tosolve the cases with ease. Of course, it would be just her luck to get stuck here with Mahiru as well, who always forced her way into the Investigations whether Peko liked it or not.

But she couldn’t let her thoughts get the best of her - Peko needed to make it out of here alive and not in a body-bag; otherwise, she would never discover the truth behind her parent’s untimely deaths.

However, Peko was intelligent and knew that if she revealed her talent then shewould become an immediate target. She faked having amnesia in front of theothers and kept her lips sealed, insisting that she didn’t remember her talent.

That was a boldface lie, but the only person who knew that was Mahiru, who was also hesitant to reveal her talent and for good reason.

If Peko wanted to, she could easily get away with a murder. Her knowledge of Forensics made it easy to set up the evidence and point towards someone else, and her credibility among her classmates drew suspicion away from her. She knew damn well that no one would suspect or accuse her of being the Blackened…

But she needed to stop thinking like that, otherwise she may end up doing something she regrets… and she can’t afford to put her life at risk.

- Mod Rantaro

#danganronpa #danganronpa imagines #super dangan ronpa 2 #Super Danganronpa 2 #sdr2 #sdr2 imagines #talent swap #nekomaru nidai #Mahiru Koizumi #gundham tanaka #Peko Pekoyama

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pelikinesis · 6 years ago

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one thing i’ve only truly considered recently about RPGs is that as a GM, given my background of playing basically all of the SNES Final Fantasy games, and some of their predecessors and successors on other systems, my default approach is to make a campaign that’s going to end up being epic in scope, meaning long-running and ambitious and complex with the PCs taking center stage.

and one thing that i’ve realized, is that i’ve never really told my players outright that this is my proclivity. partially because, aside from one time, availability has always been inconsistent. meaning that, among my friend group, i can’t run the campaigns i want to run. and my adjustment to that has been somewhat half-assed.

particularly considering my most stable player is probably the one that would benefit most from having this explained to him. a player who is still trying to figure out how to create a rounded character whose personality is more than a couple of jokes, whose build is something more ambitious than ‘whatever i did badly at last session’.

thinking about it now, there’s no reason to expect such a player to be giving their characters rich backstories or, more importantly, lofty ambitions. And lofty ambitions are necessary for epic campaigns. and a party made up of characters who not only don’t have any real future plans, but can’t even keep straight the plans they’re supposed to be enacting now, because they can’t even remember what their most immediate mission/quest is, are unlikely to overthrow the evil empire, to slay the demon, to save the prince/ss.

one of the obstacles towards me switching up my style, is i’ve never cared much for Conan-style adventures, the kinds that ASCII rogue-likes are modeled after. not to mention, even when i’ve attempted to award loot accordingly, my players forget half the shit their magic items do, or that they have them in their possession.

one thing i got from a video from the ‘How to be a Great GM’ youtube channel is the idea of having the campaign contain an Adventuring Academy type thing. It makes a lot of sense, but would require some explanation beforehand to players that the campaign will have some authority figure characters who alternatively chew out the PCs and also offer them advice.

however, this only works if the players won’t react badly or dislike this ultimately pedantic, or overbearing, or simply critical relationship with this superior character. because ideally i like giving my players agency, and i dislike constantly chewing them out on what i perceive to be their faults--after all, what if their suboptimal or downright stupid tactical errors are the result of me not explaining the combat encounter clearly enough?

What if they made the wrong assumptions based off of a snippet of wording that, in hindsight, is very obviously misleading in some way, causing them to completely misunderstand some sort of political situation or power relation or whatever? What if my players clearly don’t watch any crime dramas or police procedurals or mystery shows and have no concept of how flimsy their concept of how to conduct a competent investigation is? What if my players clearly have no real concept of the military hierarchy and talk to the brass as if they’re equals in a condescending tone? What if they don’t want to be flogged in front of the other recruits but that’s what makes sense for the 1st Lieutenant to avoid looking weak in front of his troops for allowing a lowly private to disrespect him in front of everyone?

ironically, there’s something vaguely irritating i find in a player character who lacks long-term plans or ambition. the reason it’s ironic is because that easily describes me. but RPGs and life are different in a few ways. and in any case, i think that if a player character doesn’t have those things, then they should have reasons as to why, which can function as character motivation in its own way.

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ravenclawlitza · 7 years ago

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HOGWARTS HOUSES AS D&D 5e BACKGROUNDS

GRYFFINDOR

You are a member of the house of Godric Gryffindor, known for courage, valor, bravery, and loyalty. Associated with fire and the colors red and gold, its insignia is a lion and its students are known for being noble and bold, if a bit reckless and foolhardy. Occupying one of Hogwarts’ four towers, the dormitories are warm and rich, with a common room often filled with students laughing and playing games.

Skill Proficiencies: Athletics, Intimidation Tool Proficiencies: One type of gaming set, one type of artisan’s tools or a broomstick Equipment: Gryffindor robes, a partial map of Hogwarts and the grounds, a gaming set, a lucky charm such as a rabbit foot or a small stone, a wand, a pet (owl, rat, toad, or cat), a pouch containing 15 galleons

Feature: Rustic Hospitality Considered one of the “heroic house,” you have no problem fitting in with common witches and wizards. You can find a place to hide, rest, or recuperate among other common wix or other Gryffindors, unless you have shown yourself to be a danger to them. They will shield you from authority figures or anyone else searching for you, though they will not risk their lives for you.

Alternate Feature: Explorer You have spent much time wandering Hogwarts and the surrounding grounds, and have developed an excellent memory for maps and geography. You can always recall the general layout of terrain, buildings, and other features around you. When you are in a place where you have been before, you and your companions can travel between any two locations within that area twice as fast as your speed would normally allow.

Personality Trait: 1. When I set my mind to something, I follow through no matter what gets in my way. 2. I’m confident in my abilities and do what I can to instill confidence in others. 3. The best way to get me to do something is to tell me I can’t do it. 4. I get bored easily. When am I going to get on with my destiny? 5. I have a joke for every occasion, especially occasions where humor is inappropriate. 6. I can stare down a hellhound without flinching. 7. I face problems head-on. A simple, direct solution is the best path to success. 8. My friends know they can rely on me no matter what.

Ideal: 1. Fairness. No one should get preferential treatment before the rules, and no one is above the rules. (Lawful) 2. Freedom. Bullies, even those in authority, must not be allowed to terrorize. (Chaotic) 3. Might. If I become strong, I can take what I want --- what I deserve. (Evil) 4. Independence. I am a free spirit --- no one tells me what to do. (Chaotic) 5. Friendship. Material goods come and go. Bonds of friendship last forever. (Good) 6. Destiny. Nothing and no one can keep me from my higher calling. (Any)

Bond: 1. I protect those who cannot protect themselves. 2. I wish the person I love would love me back. 3. I idolize a hero of old and measure my deeds again that person. 4. I will do anything to prove myself superior to my hated rival. 5. I would do anything for my friends. 6. Someone got hurt because of my reckless actions. That will never happen again.

Flaw: 1. I am blind to my shortcomings and risk of failure. 2. I have a weakness for gambling and strong drink. 3. I have trouble trusting in my allies. 4. I have trouble keeping my true feelings hidden. My sharp tongue lands me in trouble. 5. Despite my best efforts, I am unreliable to my friends. 6. I can’t resist a pretty face.

HUFFLEPUFF

You are a member of the house of Helga Hufflepuff, known for hard work, kindness, loyalty, and perseverance. Associated with earth and the colors yellow and black, its insignia is a badger and its students are known for being friendly and fair minded, if a bit simple. Located in the basement of Hogwarts near the kitchens, the dormitories are cozy and welcoming, with a common room often filled with students relaxing and tending to their plants.

Skill Proficiencies: Nature, Insight Tool Proficiencies: Herbalism kit, one type of musical instrument or a broomstick Equipment: Hufflepuff robes, the favor of an admirer such as a love letter or trinket, an herbalism kit, a small potted plant that was given to you after you were sorted, a wand, a pet (owl, rat, toad, or cat), a pouch containing 15 galleons

Potted Plants: 1. Dittany allows you to use an action to cast Spare the Dying once per long rest.. 2. Gillyweed grants one hour of waterbreathing once per long rest. 3. Venemous Tentacula allows you to use an action to cast Thorn Whip once per long rest, using Dexterity as your attack modifier. 4. Young Mandrake allows you to use an action to cast Vicious Mockery once per long rest, with a DC of 12. 5. Devil’s Snare allows you to use an action to to cast Entangle once per long rest without concentration, with a DC of 12, increasing by 1 each subsequent DC save. 6. Fire Seed Bush allows you to use an action to cast Produce Flame once per long rest, using Dexterity as your attack modifier. 7. Snargaluff allows you to harvest 1d6 goodberries once per long rest, but the plant makes a thorn whip attack against you, dealing 1d6 piercing damage if you fail a DC 12 Dexterity saving throw. 8. Wiggenbush allows you to use an action to cast Protection from Evil and Good once per long rest, with maintained contact with the bush being required instead of concentration.

Feature: By Popular Demand People tend to like you wherever you go, and you can often find lodging and food for less than the normal price, or free if you work each night. When people recognize you from previous encounters, they typically take a liking to you.

Alternate Feature: Shelter of the Dutiful You have spent time working or volunteering at a place such as a dragon reserve, hospital, bank, or other organization or business. Whenever you return there, you can expect to receive free healing and care, and will support you at a modest lifestyle in exchange for work. While nearby, you can call upon your shelter for assistance, provided the assistance you ask for is not hazardous and you remain in good standing with them.

Personality Trait: 1. I judge people by their actions, not their words. 2. If someone is in trouble, I’m always ready to help. 3. I have a strong sense of fair play and always try to find the most equitable solution to arguments. 4. Nobody stays angry at me or around me for long since I can defuse any amount of tension. 5. I can find common ground between the fiercest enemies, empathizing with them and always working toward peace. 6. I feel more comfortable around plants and animals than people. 7. I watch over my friends as if they were a litter of newborn pups. 8. I work hard so that I can play hard when the work is done.

Ideal: 1. Charity. I always try to help those in need, no matter what the personal cost. (Good) 2. Change. We must bring about the change we wish to see in the world. (Chaotic) 3. Hope. I have faith that if I work hard, thing will go well. (Lawful) 4. Redemption. There’s a spark of good in everyone. (Good) 5. People. I like making smiles appear on people’s faces. That’s all that matters. (Neutral) 6. Aspiration. I’m determined to make something of myself. (Any)

Bond: 1. Everything I do is for the good of the community. 2. I was once bullied and now I will stop any bully I see. 3. I owe my mentor a great debt for forging me into the person I am today. 4. Nothing is more important than the other members of my house. 5. I will face any challenge to prove I’m just as good as my peers. 6. A friend stuck close to me in a time of need. To this day, I will never leave a friend behind.

Flaw: 1. I judge others harshly, and myself even more severely. 2. I put too much trust in people. 3. Once I pick a goal, I become obsessed with it to the detriment of everything else in my life. 4. I am too enamored of ale, wine, and other intoxicants. 5. A dangerous creature I once faced still leaves me quivering with fear. 6. I’d rather eat my armor than admit when I’m wrong.

RAVENCLAW

You are a member of the house of Rowena Ravenclaw, known for intelligence, wit, creativity, and curiousity. Associated with air and the colors bronze and blue, its insignia is an eagle and its students are known for being smart and inventive, if a bit odd and absentminded. Occupying one of Hogwarts’ four towers, the dormitories are breezy and open, with a common room often filled with students studying and working on odd inventions.

Skill Proficiencies: Investigation, Perception Tool Proficiencies: Tinker's tools, one type of gaming set or a broom Equipment: Ravenclaw robes, a notebook stuffed full of notes from your studies, a bottle of black ink, a quill, a gaming set or tinker's tools, a trinket that you find fascinating or meaningful, either a small mechanical device of your own invention (such as a clockwork toy, firestarter, or music box) or a muggle device you've rigged to work at Hogwarts (such as a record player, old fashioned projector, or walkman), a wand, a pet (owl, rat, toad, or cat), a pouch containing 15 galleons

Feature: Researcher When you do not know a piece of information or lore that you seek, you often know where and from whom you can obtain it. You are respected as a fellow scholar and can often gain access to the private collections of learned witches and wizards. You have proven yourself trustworthy at Hogwarts and are allowed access to the restricted section of the library, though you still aren’t permitted to take book from that section.

Alternate Feature: Discovery In your independent studies, you have uncovered a unique and powerful discovery. it might be a great truth about the nature of magic, the lost recipe to a potion, a new magical plant or creature, a site that no human has seen, a new spell, a fact that has been long forgotten, or some ancient magical artifact.

Personality Trait: 1. I’ve read every book in the library --- or I like to boast that I have. 2. I’m used to helping those who aren’t as smart as I am, and I patiently explain anything and everything to others. 3. I always want to know how things work and what makes people tick. 4. I’m working on a grand philosophical theory and love sharing my ideas. 5. I believe that anything worth doing is worth doing right. I can’t help it --- I’m a perfectionist. 6. There’s nothing I like more than a good mystery.

Ideal: 1. Knowledge. The path to power and self-improvement is through knowledge. (Neutral) 2. Logic. Emotions must not cloud our logical thinking. (Lawful) 3. Power. Knowledge is the path to power and domination. (Evil) 4. Creativity. I never work on the same project twice. (Chaotic) 5. Generosity. My talents have been given to me so I can use them to benefit the world. (Good) 6. Self-improvement. The goal of a life of study is the betterment of oneself. (Any)

Bond: 1. I possess knowledge that must not fall into the wrong hands. 2. I’ve been searching my whole life for the answer to a certain question. 3. I seek to preserve a spell scroll or ancient tome that my enemies consider dangerous and seek to destroy. 4. I suffer awful visions of a coming disaster and will do anything to prevent it. 5. Someone stole my invention and someday I’ll get it back. 6. I would die to recover an ancient artifact, spell, or formula that was lost long ago.

Flaw: 1. I’m convinced that no one could ever outsmart me the way I outsmart others. 2. I am easily distracted by the promise of information. 3. I’ll do anything to get my hands on something rare or priceless. 4. I let my need to win arguments overshadow friendships and harmony. 5. I overlook obvious solutions in favor of complicated ones. 6. Most people scream and run when they see a dangerous creature. I stop and take notes on its anatomy.

SLYTHERIN

You are a member of the house of Salazar Slytherin, known for ambition, resourcefulness, cunning, and self-preservation. Associated with water and the colors green and silver, its insignia is a snake and its students are known for being cunning and confident, if a bit cold and manipulative. Located in the dungeons of Hogwarts, the dormitories are grand and cold, with a common room often filled with students conversing quietly and watching the underwater wildlife through the windows to the Great Lake.

Skill Proficiencies: Deception, Persuasion Tool Proficiencies: A disguise kit or forgery kit or a broom Languages: One of your choice Equipment: Slytherin robes, a disguise kit or forgery kit, a wand, a pet (owl, rat, toad, or cat), a purse containing 25 galleons

Feature: Criminal Contact You have a reliable and trustworthy contact who acts as your liaison to a network of other witches and wizards in the black market. You know how to get messages to and from your contact, even over great distances, whether through messengers or magical means. You are often able to use this network to find people, things, or information you seek, including illegal contraband.

Alternate Feature: Position of Privilege Even if you are not a pureblood, you are welcome in pureblood circles because of your house, and the aristocracy treats you as a member of the same social sphere. Common witches and wizards often assume you are wealthy because of your bearing, even if you are not, and will make every effort to accommodate you and avoid your displeasure. You can secure an audience with a prominent Ministry official or powerful family if you need to.

Personality Trait: 1. I would rather make a new friend than a new enemy. 2. Whenever I come to a new place, I collect local rumors and spread gossip. 3. Sarcasm and insults are my weapons of choice. 4. I am always calm, no matter what the situation. I never raise my voice or let my emotions control me. 5. I am incredibly slow to trust. Those who seem the fairest often have the most to hide. 6. I always have a plan for what to do when things go wrong. 7. I get bitter if I’m not the center of attention. 8. I like a job well done, especially if I can convince someone else to do it.

Ideal: 1. Tradition. The traditions of my house must be preserved and upheld. (Lawful) 2. Greed. I will do whatever it takes to become rich and powerful. (Evil) 3. People. I’m loyal to my friends, not to any ideals, and everyone else can take a trip down the Styx for all I care. (Neutral) 4. Adaptability. Life is in constant change, and we must change with it to succeed. (Chaotic) 5. Obligation. I have a responsibility to protect and care for those who cannot protect themselves. (Good) 6. Fraternity. My school, house, or friends are all that matter. (Any)

Bond: 1. I will someday get revenge on an enemy that once humiliated me. 2. I will become the greatest wizard that ever lived. 3. My studies into the dark arts gave me insight into a great evil that only I can destroy. 4. I want to be famous, whatever it takes. 5. I’m loyal to my mentor first, everyone else second. 6. Hogwarts is my home, and I’ll fight to defend it.

Flaw: 1. I am suspicious of strangers and expect the worst of them. 2. I’ll run and preserve my own hide if the going gets tough. 3. I have a “tell” that reveals when I’m lying. 4. I’ll do anything to win fame and renown. 5. People who can’t take care of themselves get what they deserve. 6. I remember every insult I’ve received and nurse a silent resentment toward anyone who’s ever wronged me.

BLOOD STATUSES AS D&D 5e BACKGROUNDS

PUREBLOOD (ARISTOCRATIC)

Your family can trace their lineage back to the witches and wizards of old, with no muggle interbreeding to speak of (or, at least, so they claim).

Skill Proficiencies: History, Performance Tool Proficiencies: One type of musical instrument or a broom Languages: Latin Equipment: Wizard robes, a signet ring with your family’s crest or a family heirloom, a musical instrument or a racing broom

Feature: Position of Privilege As a pureblood, you are welcome in aristocratic pureblood circles, and are given preferential treatment over those of lesser blood or lower social standing. Common witches and wizards make every effort to accommodate you and avoid your displeasure. You can secure an audience with a prominent Ministry official or powerful family if you need to.

Personality Trait: 1. I am tolerant (or intolerant) of other houses and blood statuses and respect (or condemn) relationships with them 2. I’ve enjoyed fine food, drink, and high society raised in the wizarding aristocracy. Rough living grates on me. 3. My eloquent flattery makes everyone I talk to feel like the most important and wonderful person in the world. 4. I don’t like to get my hands dirty, and I won’t be caught dead in unsuitable accommodations. 5. No one could doubt by looking at my regal bearing that I am a cut above the unwashed masses. 6. I take great pains to always look my best and follow the latest fashions. 7. Despite my blood status, I do not place myself above other people. We all have the same magic. 8. I’m always polite and respectful.

Ideal: 1. Responsibility. It is my duty to respect the authority of those above me, just as those below me must respect mine. (Lawful) 2. Power. If I can attain more power, no one will tell me what to do. (Evil) 3. Family. Blood runs thicker than water. (Any) 4. Independence. I must prove that I can handle myself without the coddling of my family. (Chaotic) 5. Respect. Respect is due to me because of my position, but all people regardless of station deserve to be treated with dignity. (Good) 6. Aspiration. I’m determined to make something of myself. (Any)

Bond: 1. It is my duty to provide children to carry on my family’s name. 2. Nothing is more important than the other members of my family. 3. I will face any challenge to win the approval of my family. 4. My houses’ alliance with another house must be sustained at all costs. 5. I am in love with a member of another family that my family despises. 6. I owe everything to my mentor --- a horrible person who’s now rotting in Azkaban.

Flaw: 1. I secretly believe that everyone is beneath me. 2. I hide a truly scandalous secret that could ruin my family forever. 3. I too often hear veiled insults and threats in every word addressed to me, and I’m quick to anger. 4. I have an insatiable desire for carnal pleasures. 5. In fact, the world does revolve around me. 6. By my words and actions, I often bring shame to my family.

PUREBLOOD (BLOOD TRAITOR)

Though your family is technically pureblooded, they are considered blood traitors, not welcome in high society, and likely have lost their wealth shortly after losing their social status. Alternatively, you are the sole blood traitor in your pureblooded family, disowned and cut off from your previous position of privilege.

Skill Proficiencies: History, Performance Tool Proficiencies: One type of musical instrument or a broom Languages: Latin Equipment: Wizard robes or muggle clothes, a musical instrument or a racing broom

Feature: Rustic Hospitality After you or your family were declared blood traitors, you made new friends among the middle and lower-class wizarding community. You can find a place to hide, rest, or recuperate among other common witches and wizards, unless you have shown yourself to be a danger to them. They will shield you from the law or anyone else searching for you, though they will not risk their lives for you.

Personality Trait: 1. The best way to get me to do something is to tell me I can’t do it. 2. I actively go against aristocratic etiquette to spite blood purists. 3. I’ve lost too many friends, and I’m slow to make new ones. 4. I’m haunted by my old life and family. I can’t get them out of my head. 5. Nothing can shake my optimistic attitude. 6. I feel tremendous empathy for all who suffer.

Ideal: 1. Independence. I’m a free spirit --- no one tells me what to do. (Chaotic) 2. Sincerity. There’s no good in pretending to be something I’m not. (Neutral) 3. Respect. People deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. (Good) 4. Community. We have to take care of each other, because no one else is going to do it. (Lawful) 5. Free Thinking. Inquiry and curiousity are the pillars of progress. (Chaotic) 6. Aspiration. I’m going to chart my own destiny. (Any)

Bond: 1. No one should have to endure the hardships I’ve been through. 2. I owe my survival to someone who took me in when I was disowned. 3. I left someone I loved behind when I left my family. 4. I’m the true heir to a pureblood fortune, and one day I’ll reclaim my lands and wealth from the those who would keep them from me. 5. I was disowned because I fell in love with someone I shouldn’t have. 6. Those who fight beside me are those worth dying for.

Flaw: 1. I once humiliated a powerful member of a pureblooded family who still wants revenge. It was a mistake that I will likely repeat. 2. The people who knew me when I was young know a shameful secret about me. 3. No one must ever know that I stole money from a wealthy family. 4. There’s no room for caution in a life lived to the fullest. 5. I speak without really thinking though my words, invariably insulting others. 6. I can’t keep a secret to save my life, or anyone else’s.

HALFBLOOD

The biggest category of witches and wizards, you know plenty about the wizarding world but don’t usually care about blood status. Some halfbloods have been accepted into pureblooded aristocratic society, but they are never considered equals.

Skill Proficiencies: History, one of your choice Tool Proficiencies: One type of artisan’s tools, one type of gaming set Equipment: Wizard robes, one type of artisan’s tools or gaming set

Feature: Rustic Hospitality Your family has long ties within the middle and lower-class wizarding community. You can find a place to hide, rest, or recuperate among common witches and wizards, unless you have shown yourself to be a danger to them. They will shield you from the law or anyone else searching for you, though they will not risk their lives for you.

Personality Trait: 1. I know a story relevant to almost every situation. 2. I love a good insult, even one directed at me. 3. I change my mood and my mind quickly. 4. I’m driven by wanderlust and love to travel. 5. I’m willing to listen to every side of an argument before I make my own judgment. 6. I stretch the truth for the sake of a good story. 7. I bluntly say what other people are hinting at or hiding. 8. I like to talk at length about my hobbies.

Ideal: 1. Aspiration. I work to one day be the best at my profession. (Neutral) 2. History. The knowledge of the past must never be forgotten, for they teach us who we are. (Lawful) 3. Greed. I’m only in it for the money. (Evil) 4. Greater Good. My gifts are meant to be shared with all, not used for my own benefit. (Good) 5. Live and Let Live. Meddling in the affairs of others only causes trouble. (Neutral) 6. No Limits. Nothing should fetter the infinite possibility inherent in all existence. (Chaotic)

Bond: 1. A powerful person hurt someone I care about. Someday soon, I’ll have my revenge. 2. My instrument is my most treasured possession, and it reminds me of someone I love. 3. I want to be famous, whatever it takes. 4. I have a family, but I have no idea where they are. One day, I hope to find them. 5. The location of my favorite class is the most important place in the world to me. 6. My friends are the most important thing in my life.

Flaw: 1. I am inflexible in my thinking. 2. Once I start drinking, it’s hard for me to stop. 3. I am dogmatic in my thoughts and philosophy. 4. I like keeping secrets and won’t share them with anyone. 5. I can’t help but pocket loose coins and other trinkets I comes across. 6. I have little respect for anyone who isn’t a proven duelist.

MUGGLEBORN

You come from a family of muggles, with no knowledge of the magical world before your eleventh birthday. Your mannerisms, figures of speech, and clothing all mark you as muggleborn, and you had to work twice as hard to learn what halfbloods and purebloods have been taught from birth.

Skill Proficiencies: Science, one of your choice Tool Proficiencies: Vehicles (land) and one type of muggle device Equipment: Muggle clothes, a few muggle books or magazines, a muggle trinket that non-muggles find fascinating or intriguing

Feature: Muggle Secrets You are familiar with muggle customs and society in a way that very few non-muggles are. You can effortlessly blend into muggle society and help your companions do the same. When you are not in combat, you and your companions can travel between two locations in a muggle city twice as fast as your speed would normally allow.

Personality Trait: 1. I often use muggle words or phrases that those around me don't understand. 2. I idolize a famous muggle and constantly refer to their deeds and example. 3. I like to talk at length about the muggle world. 4. I take great pains to try to blend into the wizarding world. 5. I place no stock in wealthy or well-mannered folk, and I sometimes go out of my way to bother blood purists. 6. I love visiting new places and making new friends over a flagon of butterbeer.

Ideal: 1. Open. I have much to learn about wizarding society from the kind people I meet along my way. (Good) 2. Reserved. The wizarding world is foreign to me, and I am cautious in my dealings. (Lawful) 3. Adventure. Everything about magic is strange and wonderful! (Chaotic) 4. Cunning. Though I may not fully understand the wizarding world, neither do they know the muggle world, which can be to my advantage. (Evil) 5. Inquisitive. Everything is new, but I have a thirst to learn. (Neutral) 6. Aspiration. I’m going to prove that I’m worthy of my magic. (Any)

Bond: 1. I'm fascinated by the beauty and wonder of magic. 2. I didn't want to leave my family, and I can't wait to return to them. 3. I owe everything to my mentor who helped me adapt to the wizarding world. 4. My muggle possessions are symbols of my past life, and I carry them so that I will never forget my roots. 5. I wish my muggle friend had been able to come to Hogwarts with me. 6. I escaped my life of poverty by coming to Hogwarts, and I’ll never go back.

Flaw: 1. I am secretly (or not so secretly) convinced of the superiority of muggle culture over that of wizarding culture. 2. I am suspicious of purebloods and expect the worst of them. 3. I still have much to learn about the wizarding world, and my ignorance and thirst for knowledge makes me gullible. 4. I’m never satisfied with what I have --- I always want more. 5. I am too enamored of magical drinks, potions, and other stimulants and intoxicants. 6. I can’t resist swindling people who are more powerful than me.

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daily-dose-of-naruto · 7 years ago

Note

The akatsuki in Harry Potter?

YES yes thank you for this thank you THANK YOU *cracks knuckles* I’ve thought way to much about this. The time line is pre-Harry Potter, at the height of Voldemort’s original rise to power. ~Admin Song

Yahiko’s, Nagato’s and Konan’s parents were all killed by Death Eaters, as a starting point.

Akatsuki Members in Harry Potter

Nagato

• A pureblood sorted into Hufflepuff and forever changed the perception of what Hufflepuffs were capable of as he went down in history as one of the most powerful and despicable persons in the wizarding world. Nagato was sensitive and smart in his school days, always flying under the radar and quietly practicing his magic.

• Became best friends with Yahiko (Gryffindor) after the latter saved him from a group of bullies at in his second year. Was then introduced to Konan (Ravenclaw), and the three soon became thick a thieves. Influenced by Yahiko’s ideals, the three graduated to be Aurors to fight the darkness spread by The Dark Lord.

• Witnessed the death of his best friend at the hands of Death Eaters when he was only eighteen. Freshly graduated, Yahiko stormed into the heat of battle and died a foolhardy hero. Nagato began doubting the methods of the Aurors. Something dark and unforgiving was planted in him.

• After years of lurking in the shadows, preparation and research, he rallied together the emerging Akatsuki, a hardcore liberation group whose only goal was the destruction of evil by any means necessary. As a Hufflepuff, Nagato was able to use every single resource to his advantage, rapidly becoming a terrifyingly powerful new player in the wizarding war.

• As his notoriety grew, threats to Nagato’s life began from both the Ministry and the Death Eaters. Consumed by a desire for revenge and peace, Nagato resorted to creating his first Horcrux. With the murder of a high-ranking Death Eater, he and Konan successfully transfered a portion of Nagato’s soul into Yahiko’s wand.

• Evolved his own technique of Transfiguring Horcruxes into the Six Paths of Pein. Nagato first transplanted the greatest portion of his soul into Yahiko’s body, then after that into feared and respected high-ranking members from both the Ministry and the Death Eaters that died at the hands of the Akatsuki. At the sacrifice of his own body and sanity, Nagato tore his soul into six pieces, leaving his original body skeletal and disfigured and miniscule.

Konan

• A quiet artistic genius, Konan knew she’d be sorted into Ravenclaw from an early age. A half-blood with a happy upbringing, having the wizarding world thrust into war left Konan reeling for something to grab on to, especially after the murder of her parents (her father married a muggle, labelled a “blood-traitor”).

• She attached herself to her school friends Yahiko and Nagato, finding faith with them that one day the world might change. But then Yahiko was murdered and she saw the last person she loved in the world, Nagato, grow bitter and vengeful.

• Essentially shut down the best and brightest parts of herself. Konan’s intellect allowed Nagato’s ambitions to thrive, making her feel useful and as though Yahiko had not died in vain. It was only after Yahiko was gone that Konan realized she was in love with him. Heavy with grief, she released her hopes for the future and gave her will over to Nagato.

• Wand consists of unicorn and walnut. Konan’s favourite subject is Charms, although she scored consistently across all school subjects. However, Konan could not fly a broom for the life of her, and soon gave up after the mandatory first-year course.

Deidara

• A Slytherin with a goal; to create the ultimate work of art. At a young age Deidara started experimenting with fireworks and explosive spells. Think Seamus Finnegan, but purposeful, and with much more macabre outcomes. Made his first self-guiding firework when he was seven, using clay and his mother’s wand.

• His parents turned a blind eye to all the mice Deidara brought home, didn’t question him when the neighbouring Muggle’s cat went missing, or even raise a fuss when reports from Hogwarts listed ‘has a tendency to make things explode’. Super enablers who praised their boy, giving him an inflated sense of self worth.

• They don’t call it the Dark Arts for nothing. To Deidara, the most forbidden spells were the most tantalizing, and as he learned about them second-handedly via Defense Against the Dark Arts, his fascination grew.

• Skilled in Transfiguration, Deidara’s specialty was transfiguring living beings into clay, which he then was able to transfigure into an explosion. He is the first wizard to ever complete two levels of Transfiguration in a single spell- first to clay, then to a BOOM.

• Considered joining the Death Eaters, but (quote) “wasn’t letting that effing ugly tattoo anywhere near my body”. I’m kind of joking but also I’m kind of not. He also enjoyed the agency the Akatsuki offered, letting him use his powers to the fullest. To Deidara, nothing would be more beautiful than watching his enemies explode.

Hidan

• When sorted a Gryffindor at age eleven, Hidan punched two fists up in the air and shrieked with joy. He didn’t give a shit how everyone stared at him like he’d lost his freaking mind, he’d gotten what he wanted. Gryffindor’s reputation for creating heroes and victors attracted Hidan, and his hyperactive need for conflict seemed to compliment the traditional traits of the house. Soon gained a reputation through Hogwarts as a little shit disturber with a big ego.

• Always getting into fights. Hidan frequently challenged other students to duels in the heat of arguments. “Oh yeah bitch? Why don’t you duel me??”- definitely said by Hidan. Even after teachers ordered him to stop, Hidan couldn’t contain his need to pound his enemies into the dirt.

• Never graduated. Hidan was expelled from Hogwarts in his sixth year for nearly strangling a boy to death with a combination levitation/binding spell. According to onlookers of the duel, a strange blankness overcame Hidan’s face as he squeezed the life from the boy. When Hidan started laughing, several students became scared and left to find a professor. The professor was horrified to happen upon an unconscious third year hanging limply in the air and Hidan cackling, seemingly unaware of his surroundings.

• Spent a stint with the Death Eaters. Being that bravery is a prime Gryffindor quality, Hidan volunteered for several experiments involving immortality in the hopes of achieving it for Voldemort himself. In a freak accident combining several irreplacable elements, this was astoundingly apparently achieved. But the invulnerability fed Hidan’s lust for battle beyond what the Death Eaters had designed for him and he left, killing several Death Eaters on his way out.

• Joined the Akatsuki because they were the only option left. Hidan relished in every opportunity to kill presented to him. He slaughtered wizards and witches on both sides, laughing and praising his ultimate purpose.

• As for immortality, every wound inflicted upon Hidan’s body was reflected upon his soul, which at the time of his burial (still by Shikamaru) was shredded to ribbons. If he ever did make it to the afterlife, Hidan would be reduced to something even smaller than Lord Voldemort was, something in constant agony and permanently incapable of ever being whole again. That would be the price for his immortality.

Kakuzu

• Born a ‘Mudblood”, Kakuzu despised his upbringing the moment he set foot in Hogwarts. His great ambition cast him as a Slytherin, where he was ostracized by his own house for his low-class Muggle parents. Growing up, Kakuzu always schemed for a way to beat his ‘inferior’ heritage. The students he simultaneously despised and idolized were wealthy pure bloods dripping in old money. They epitomized everything Kakuzu wanted but couldn’t have.

• Flew under the radar most of his school/young adult life, but sometime after his graduating Hogwarts, there were strange reports of missing witches and wizards. It took the Ministry a while to link them all back to Kakuzu, and though they searched for any affiliation to Dark Arts organizations, it appeared the only loyalty Kakuzu had was to the money paid out to him for the assassinations.

• Wizards live to be old, but Kakuzu is far older than most by the time he joins the Akatsuki. Like many others before him, Kakuzu experimented with ways to prolong his lifespan, and found partial success in his years of travel. After all, the older you live, the more money you can amass. Using a combination of brutal Transfiguration, Dark Arts, and illegal potions, Kakuzu restitches a body that can die time over time again.

• As war broke out, Kakuzu’s business plummeted. There was enough bloodshed, no one wanted to pay Kakuzu’s price for one death when thousands being were slaughtered every day. Kakuzu joined the Akatsuki upon Nagato’s request at the promise of money and power. By this time the organization was well feared by both sides, which Kakuzu saw value in. As he became one of the highest ranking members, and most notorious, Kakuzu achieved the sense of power he’d always associated with pure-bloodedness.

Itachi Uchiha

• The Uchiha were a well-established pure-blood presence in the wizarding community, with direct bloodlines to royalty. However, after years of interbreeding and otherwise ‘gotta keep that blood pure’ craziness that ends up tainting the mind, the majority of the Uchiha family developed a dangerous sense of superiority, to Muggles and fellow wizards alike.

• The Uchiha are particularly skilled in the art of Legilimency, the act of magically navigating the many layers of person’s mind. Uchiha through the ages have been famously renowned as infiltrators and gatherers of intelligence. Itachi is no exception, and he’s soon hailed as a genius of Legilimency. Recruited by the Ministry of Magic while still in school to monitor suspicious figures.

• Powerful members of the Uchiha plotted to infiltrate the Ministry of Magic and take control, recalling the old days of kings with absolute power. The Uchiha wanted to be a royal family again, with a literal reign over all the wizarding world. Known for their powerful spells and curses, the Uchiha were fearsome wizards and witches.

• Itach told his high-ups what his family was planning. Upon their instruction he assassinated the majority of the Uchiha, save for Sasuke. Like the anime, Itachi took the burden and the blame, disappearing from the wizarding world and being labelled as “Itachi the Mad” or “Itachi the Bloodthirsty”.

• Since he was responsible for the extermination of so much pure blood, Death Eaters set out to murder Itachi. He successfully evaded them until he joined the Akatsuki, which he only did to draw out Sasuke. He wanted to see his little brother again.

• At Hogwarts Itachi was always humble and kind. He was sorted to Ravenclaw, to his parents surprise and, though they tried to hide it, disdain. He and Shisui (Gryffindor) stuck together and avoided the majority of Slytherin Uchiha. Together they were the favourite students of most professors, excelling in most classes, being generally well-behaved, and always willing to go the extra mile.

• His favourite class was Herbology.

Kisame

• His mother and father were filled with dismay when the doctor handed them their newborn Kisame, fully steel blue from head to toe. Demanding an explanation, the doctor stammered that perhaps one one or both of the parents had involved themselves with Transfiguration spells beyond their range of power. Livid, Kisame’s mother and father swept out of the hospital with their infant.

• Kisame would never learn that his scaly skin and blue complexion were, in fact, a result of his father and mother attempting Transfiguration on the unformed fetus with the intent of giving Kisame a vaster capacity for magic and producing powerful spells. Neither the mother or father were spectacular wizards, but together they decided they wanted their son to be the start of a legacy.

• Transfiguration is a very difficult and perhaps the most scientific of the magical arts. This added reservoir of magic could not have been conjured from nothing- as it happens, both of Kisame’s parents were occupied as marine biologists (more similar to Charlie Weasley’s job as a dragonologist than muggle scientists) assigned to a large team of wizards tasked with preserving the highly endangered Megalodon, which resembles a great white shark but VASTLY LARGER. Believed to be a long extinct prehistoric sea creature by Muggles, the Megalodon is referred to as the “dragon of the deep”, with similar incredibly magical properties in its various body parts.

• Father managed to obtain the dorsal fin of a Megalodon, which he made into soup and gave to his wife. Although the magic that seeped into the broth allowed Kisame to grow much more powerful, it also mingled his unborn body’s development with the lingering essence of the Megalodon.

• Sorted into Gryffindor, even played on the Quidditch team for a bit as a Beater. Usually the one to start a scrap on the field. Also had to buy new robes every half-semester because he’d grow out of his so quickly.

• Other students (and some professors) didn’t fully trust Kisame, and there were issues with other parents not wanting their children attending the same school as Kisame. Ugly rumours flew- that he wasn’t a wizard, but some kind of monster instead. Or that he was a defective animagus, or secretly a carnivorous merman, or yada yada yada. There were so many rumours that Kisame just fucking ignored all of them. He knew what he was, and he tried to tell himself that was enough.

• As his great power developed, others began fearing Kisame. He’d try to make a feather float and it’d shoot through the ceiling like a bullet. In his third year Kisame could transfigure objects the size of a horse, something even Professor McGonagall has difficulty doing. Soon his powers outstripped the professors, although his skill did not. His peers and their parents grew nervous.

• Kisame left in the middle of sixth year. There was a petition for him to leave (which he would’ve LOVED to fight against), but the fact is he was also thirstier for something greater than what Hogwarts could offer. There was a deeper taste for blood. Travelled and fought, earned money and grew disillusioned the world as he learned more about it.

• Joined Akatsuki because he loved fighting, but also because he found them truthful. Monsters are within everyone, Kisame believes. He’s just honest about his nature. The real dangers are the monsters in pristine human shells (hint hint Voldemort).

Sasori

• Poster child of a Slytherin by nurture instead of nature. His pure blood mother raised him (father was a nameless Muggle) until she was arrested for conspiring with Death Eaters and died during interrogation. Sasori’s grandmother raised him from the time he was five to when he was fourteen. She was never warm or doting, harbouring a deep seated grudge towards Sasori’s mother for having a fling with a Muggle. As a result, Sasori grew up without the knowledge of a parent’s love.

• Sasori compensated for this by charming life into everyday objects, dolls becoming his favourite. It’s not strange for a child to play with dolls, but Sasori isolated himself from the world to be with his toys. Although his grandmother thought he’d grow out of it, Sasori was packing his dolls in his suitcase to Hogwarts as late as fourth year.

• Incidentally, fourth year was Sasori’s final year at Hogwarts. He was relatively quiet, but bought into all the Muggle hatred spouted by his fellow Slytherins. Sasori grew to hate the Muggle half of him, becoming obsessed with the idea of ‘dirty blood’. In his second year he began researching ways to rid himself of his body, make a new one in his image. Sasori was an unsung genius amongst his peers, his intelligence dismissed for his unnatural social behaviours.

• Favorite class was Charms. Sasori had a knack for disturbingly life-like charms, creating objects imbued with the ability to converse, listen, and take orders. His classmates thought of him as weird and intense.

• At fourteen, succeeded in building his first vessel. It took two years for Sasori to experiment with different runes and strengthen his charms enough. In the end, Sasori had to resort to cursing the empty puppet, although he hated the terminology.

• The transition of consciousness/soul to the puppet was a result of Sasori being too smart for his own good. Before he could really understand what was happening, Sasori felt his soul ripping out of his body the very moment the final curse left his lips. He woke up in the puppet he’d created for himself, feeling nothing at all. Without a second thought, Sasori left Hogwarts, leaving his body behind. The “murder” of Sasori became one of the greatest legends of Hogwarts, up there with the Chamber of Secrets.

• Continued his obsession with charming life into the inanimate, living underground and moving often. Sasori joined the Akatsuki when he heard his grandmother had died at the hands of the Death Eaters. Even in seeking revenge, Sasori refused to rejoin the wizarding community.

Zetsu (white and black)

• One of the darkest and most evil creatures lurking the planet, it is still unclear where Zetsu came from or what he is. It’s rumoured he’s the result of a cursed Herbology experiment, or perhaps the manifestation of dark intent in the same way Dementors are to despair.

• Some say he’s been around since the beginning of time, feeding off of humanity’s bad intentions until he reached his current form. Whatever the truth is, it’s clear he is not human.

• Uses no wand. Zetsu’s primary genetic makeup is plant-based, meaning he could be the first heard of plant with an intelligence and awareness rivalling humans. Is able to extend his magic to manipulate the plants around him.

• Finds Nagato and joins the Akatsuki of his own, again for reasons unknown. Able to grow sentient white forms that are invaluable for scouting information.

• Think of him more like a legendary great evil creature, like the Basilisck.

Obito/Tobi

• What we have here is a very similar situation to Lord Voldemort and Professor Quirrell. Reduced to a shadow and driven by vengance, Obito latches himself to unsuspecting dimwit Tobi, using the latter to carry out his means of revenge.

• Obito was one of the most promising Uchiha of his generation, forming an unlikely friendship with Kakashi (Gryffindor) and Rin (Gryffindor), considering he was a Slytherin like his parents before him. Heatedly argued with Kakashi ALL THE TIME, but found something always drew him back to the boy, so they became fast friends through their incessant bickering.

• Supposedly murdered by members of one of the early anti-Uchiha cults bent on the destruction of the powerful bloodline, long before the Ministry of Magic adopted the idea. Twelve year old Obito never made it to his third year to Hogwarts. However, the attempt on Obito’s life was not entirely successful (killing spell, Avada Kedavra).

• Before Obito’s soul was fully released from his body, it was snatched up by the creature Zetsu, who saw great potential in the power of a deviant Uchiha. What used to be Obito Uchiha was tainted by Black Zetsu after his soul spent a considerable time trapped within Zetsu’s shadowy vessel. At last, when Obito was consumed with bitterness and hate, Zetsu found Tobi and implanted Obito’s soul within him, giving him agency.

• (Considering this, it appears that Zetsu has abilities surpassing a Dementor’s, able to consume and spit out souls at a whim.)

• Although he believed he was a catalyst for the formation of the Akatsuki, it was the underpinning influence of Zetsu that led Obito to Nagato, resulting in the Akatsuki.

• Perhaps Obito would be able to recover his old self, if he was somehow able to remember who he truly was before Zetsu. Perhaps a familiar figure from his past…

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