#part of me wants to
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Hello! I want to know more about Iris' post game with Shadowheart and Halsin! Do they settle? Do they travel together?
Bit of both!
I... am still picking my way through the end of the game so that I finish this fic I'm writing instead of leaving it in the WIP drawer forever and ever, BUT.
Iris did not, despite being easily able to do it, try to talk Shadowheart into saving her parents. When you have the ability to talk anyone into pretty much anything (and have used that ability to kill several people), you do start keeping your mouth shut around people you like making difficult decisions. So in the aftermath, the two of them go adventuring and exploring and, when they get tired, they go to Reithwin.
Rebuilding is going to take a lot of time and a lot of effort. Sure, there are buildings still mostly there, and with a real community effort, 6 months could do a lot, especially with magic (there's a druid spell called Move Earth that could be very helpful for digging foundations). So Halsin mostly stays, although they would tempt him away for shorter excursions. And, I imagine, they occasionally bring people in need of safe places to the town.
Between adventures, they rest. Resting does include Shadowheart helping the healers (...turning the House of Healing into something OTHER than a horror show full of Sharran iconography would be rough, but it does have a good base to be functional again) and Iris stepping in mostly to help with whatever school is set up.
Maybe they stay for a week, at first. Iris brings out her violin at the Last Light and gets people dancing. Shadowheart takes them both down to the beach for a swim. Iris and Halsin find out Shadowheart has no memory of ever trying to roll down a hill, which has to be addressed. They set off on another adventure. They come back. They stay a little longer. Iris starts collecting beginner music books. Shadowheart finds a wolf pup. Halsin sets a small house aside for them. Winter arrives, and they settle in by the fire. They retrieve Halsin from the room at the Last Light where he set up and find out they're going to need to build a bigger bed. Iris smacks herself in the thumb with a hammer, which is mostly just annoying since she has two healers in the room with her.
And, eventually, they stop leaving. Not entirely— they still go out looking for people who need to find somewhere to land, and Iris goes to get more books or more music, or they go visit their friends. Someone sets eyes on Waterdeep, and they have to blast them out of the sky. But the house gets a garden and chickens and cats and a cow, and Iris starts teaching music lessons (much to everyone else's horror. Early days of violin. Small children with drums.) and people stop teasing Halsin about when he's going to build a house for himself.
I also like to think that Shadowheart picks up maybe two levels of druid at some point. She'd share Circle of the Moon with Halsin, and yes she would be able to turn into a wolf, but mostly she rides around on people's shoulders as a little white cat. Occasionally, Iris will use the charge from the Corvid Amulet to join them. It becomes a fairly common experience to watch a bear trundle by with a cat on his back and a raven perched between his ears.
#come and chat#Iris#Shadowheart#Halsin#Shadowheart x Tav#halsin x tav#Shadowheart x Tav x Halsin#this would be.... so long if i tried to write it as a fic#part of me wants to#i'd never finish it#also thank yoooooou#to be clear this is a Different fic than the fic i'm actually writing
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fuck i feel like absolute shit today, im 13 days sober but im getting urges to cvt like crazy. i thought i was better than this, recovery sucks ass sometimes
i dont even have good blades, they were taken by the emergency workers
just feel stuck
#part of me wants to#but the other does wanna recover#especially after the hospital#988blr#slef harn#$elf h4rm#$h tw#tw s3lf harm#cvtaddict#i wanna cvt#actually mentally ill#$hblr#self h@rm
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Hm. The urge to show a photo of my cosplay Vs the terrifying ordeal of posting photos of myself (even with my head chopped off) on the internet.
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My younger sister has been obsessed with this franchise lately, so I just need my thoughts out there...
Is Descendants just like... the ultimate Disney fanfic, that's also by Disney?
Shit, maybe I should make a fanfic about the offspring of all my crossover ships, too
Maybe that can be a thing everyone does
Maybe we'll call them Descendants-type AUs where we just make lots of fanchildren for our favourite crackships and ship them with each other to make the ultimate crackships
#I'm sorry my brain ain't working#I'm /hj here#Part of me wants to#Also no hate to people who like Descendants!!#I find the concept interesting and I can see the appeal#HELP IDK WHAT I'M YAPPING ABOUT ANYMORE#boni blabbers
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Me fighting with myself to see if I want to call off of work for my birthday tomorrow 😩
#part of me wants to#take like a self care day#but I also crave attention lmao#and i dont want to get in trouble#ahh life is hard 🤣🤣
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filipina miku!! my mom helped me with her outfit ^_^
#THIS TOOK ME FOREVER RAAHHHH#i had help from my mom with stuff like the parts of the traje de mestiza which is the outfit shes wearing#this trend looks so much fun and i wanted to join in.. im first gen canadian though so ive never been to the philippines and only#know thru stories of my parents growing up. im proud of my heritage but there are some things i didnt grow up with that#make me feel disconnected from my culture. so it was nice to talk to my mom abt it and ask for her help with this :3#the pleated tapis is meant to resemble her skirt.. i had no way of adding her stockings but i noticed the piano key design#so i used that for the saya. the bandana is meant to resemble her hairties and shes wearing bakya wooden slippers with embroidery#i kinda wanted to add the panuelo to resemble her tie as a finishing touch but i forgor ;w; just imagine it i guess#my mom really likes this. shes a little confused abt the blue hair and i had to explain her hair is like that but she thinks shes pretty#originally i wanted her holding the woven pamaypay and fanning herself because ITS HOT ITS 25 FUCKING DEGREES TODAY#but i couldnt get the pose right so i settled for this. i wanna draw her and brazilian miku high fiving ill do that tmrw#my art#myart#hatsune miku#miku worldwide#philippines#vocaloid#miku
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#i’ve been thinking abt that cringe post#i think the latent feelings behind ‘cringe’ are shame and sometimes envy/bitterness#same vibes as when six year olds say ‘those toys are for babies’ if they’ve been shamed for their age by older kids#anyway. i think part of the healing process is realizing that shame puts you at war with yourself bc part of yourself is a social being!#and that part of you wants community and acceptance (maybe love). shame is the absence of acceptance#unlearning shame means learning self-love and gaining the confidence to find your people#jerma#cw jerma#(someone asked me to tag lol)
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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#part of me wants to#and part of me says no keep it the same as the first three#just for the sake of consistency#I think it’s part of my own ocd#so I’m asking yall
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though the movie might be cancelled, yuri on ice will live forever in our hearts. thank you yoi fandom, it's been real ♡
#yuri on ice#yoiedit#yoi#victuuri#ice adolescence#anime gif#*gifs#animangahive#dailyshounenai#userkarura#usergojoana#userhanyi#useralphonse#usertorichi#usermoonz#usericybtch#userheidi#usergokalp#userartless#homuras#himawaari#this is not goodbye this is still my house!!!#devastated but not surprised tbh but i still wanted to channel my emotions somehow and just. express how much this show means to me so here#this thank you goes out to u guys. the fandom#mappa can eat a brick btw <3#god i wish i could articulate just how special yoi is to me#it truly resonated with me like very few other pieces of media have (i can count them with one hand in fact)#it was sooooo revolutionary and ahead of its time not just in terms of queerness but also in terms of mental health#it truly changed me as a person and i just. really appreciate how earnest and kind it was above all#thank you yoi. you will be a part of me forever <3
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I don't want to regret the way I lived
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#nobara kugisaki#nanami kento#choso kamo#junpei yoshino#jjk leaks#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#this idea started as a 2 part series . then my braincells decided to spark and supplied 7 PAGES#'did you sleep hina' no#ws looking up mentally stable things like 'who has died in jjk' smh i love my hyperfixation media im sooooo glad so many ppl r DEAD#i *could* have included more ppl but i think this is a good crew. this is a yuuji emotional support crew#also Was gna include his grandpa final panel but i Did Not Want To#he is implied through th dialogue#side note i donot like how i cn see this scenario playing out . ..yuuji this isnt ur stop u r monopoly voice Just Visiting ok >:(#anyway I broke my own heart with this and ik i hyped it up a lot but i hope that its not just me...#hope i did not hype it up fr nothing and no one else finds it devastating :((((( that would b humbling in the worst way#pls ...join the happy party train.......i hate it here i suffered pls :<<<<#also !!!! colours in this !! i cooked i fear . adding th first bit of warm hitting yuuji's face after th first 2 panels....#ive never had that kind of experience while drawing before it was wild . painful ! but wild.#the whole transition from p 2->3 might b the most emotionally moving piece ive ever made to me#not 2 sing my own praises tho i will shut up ! i wil. nap
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Video game I saw in a dream. It was in this low poly style like an older video game. You play as this character I think was meant to be a lamb, or maybe a weird mix of a lamb a mouse and a rabbit, (while not really looking like any of those things) and you’re running away from a wolf. Your objective is to last as long as possible before the wolf catches and eats you.
The house you’re running in is endless and bizarrely put together like most building interiors in dreams are (like the infinite toilet dream dimension on Reddit lol) the layout of the house is pretty detailed, you can stop and hide in places like closets or bins while the wolf looks for you, you can go up and down stairs and into rooms etc.
You never actually know where the wolf is or how close it is to you until it appears in your line of sight, it makes no noise and the game gives you no way of knowing where it is, and it’s pretty unpredictable it doesnt move at a consistent pace. When the wolf catches you there’s an animation showing it eating your character
#the actual animation of the wolf eating your character wasnt scary he kind of just cartoonishly swallows the character whole lol#the scary part is being pursued by him and never knowing how close he is#i remember being surprised when i first saw the game bc it was presented to me as#a fun addictive sort of game kinda like a mobile app game#and then i see it and its a horror game and the creators are just completely oblivious to it lmao#dream art#<- thats my tag for all my dream-inspired art#art#gif#photomanipulation#digital art#liminal#weirdcore#used a mix of ai photos and regular photos for this one#the ai stuff is sooooo good for recreating what a dream looks and feels like#but i didnt use it too much bc i wasnt able to get the specific photos i wanted :/#hmmmm this is vore isn’t it
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I hate being a person who loves bugs, I can't say anything without the person I'm talking to reacting with disgust. Today I had to literally beg a coworker for the life of a spider, and then after I put it in a nook outside she thought it'd be funny to show me a video she took of her killing one. Like idk man. Birds scare the shit out of me but I still get why people love them. They come in pretty colors and they sound nice and they're interesting to observe. I don't understand why people don't feel the same about bugs. The rich amber color of a cockroach, the iridescent glow of a fly, the intricate hydraulics that power their little legs, the chirp of a beetle, the art of the spider's web... It's all so beautiful. Why is it the habit of so many to destroy?
#insects#entomology#to be clear i think its perfectly understandable that people have phobias#i would never force someone to look at or touch a bug if they didnt want to#but it almost seems like some enjoy killing tiny creatures#like hell. even if they play no part in transferring the bug they still want it dead#it just makes me sad. theyre such lovely little beasts its like watching someone kill a puppy to me
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post itself
false flags
trans/adjacent tags
accessibility features
tumblr live post (thanks for the link, @problemnyatic)
flashing / strobing / lights
unblockable flashing ad
buying ad free
staff @/macmanx guilt trip
list of staff + more issues
#post nuked bc proshippers started insulting people who rbed this and implied partyjockers attempted to Kill staff? it was getting old so#archive links still under the cut if you want and you can rb this from others if you want the og#hint: if you dislike this post or want to debunk parts of it the way to go about it isn't to call people who've rbed it 'disgusting little#fuck ups' that are 'spreading anti shipper lies'#note: this post is and was Not about ship discourse jesus fucking christ proshippers get a grip#also ace discoursers are here too? this isn't about you either?#edit 2: if you send me an anon regarding this post about how im policing discussion or 'don't really want it'#but then stop replying when i answer your ask#maybe that's. not helping discussion?#i nuked this post as people started making up false accusations to smear people staff sniped. aka accusing someone of IRL ATTEMPTED MURDERS.
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i say if you’re gonna have the mysterious entities speak in rhyme you might as well commit (EDIT: part 2!)
(posting an unprecedented Part 1 of At Least 3 bc i actually have the entire script and most of the storyboarding for this done already)
#yknow. got an idea. had a breakdown. bon appetit#this was the creative impulse i was referring to on sunday#my art#my poetry#secret life#secret life spoilers#slsmp#grian#geminitay#briefly#trafficblr#also#mostly bc i am proud of it and partly bc i want people to know it’s on purpose:#grian is not trying to rhyme at all in this part. he is being deliberately unhelpful#he lowkey tries to fuck it up on purpose in that second to last panel but the secret keepers just switch rhyme schemes#the one time he completes an end rhyme is because he lost his temper#anyway yeah this was motivated mostly by me wanting to see if i could do it
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