#parodynews

[broadbaymedia]

Tammy Tampon: Trans-punk goddess

There is no doubt that punk is dead. For the last twenty years, popular culture has seen the rise of hip hop. Look through any playlist of an angsty teenager and one would struggle to find a track with a real instrument on it. The rebellious spirit of the rock n roll is dead too. The skin thin veneer of anti-establishment sentiments in hip hop lexicon is easy to poke a hole through.into. The majority of the artists strive to be the capitalist scum they appear to be making a stand against. There does lie a silver lining in the sea of face tattoos and mumble lyrics. It is the last bastion of music to hold on to its balls.

In no other genre of music do you see a shameless representation of masculinity? The challenge is how to bring this mentality back to rock n roll. The solution is a social justice Trojan horse. Tammy Tampon, a transgender trash talking slut walking ball of self-destruction will bring the entertainment industry to heel. Through her anthems of anti-patriarchal mayhem, she will balance this state of unjust entertainment paradigms.

Her debut album “Fist me now, love me later” is a rocking start to what should be a long career. This collection of eight rebellious tracks conveys Tampon’s contempt for the modern culture of monogamy. The single “Gangbang on Sunday” is about a modern woman’s urge to explore her dormant sexuality that is oppressed by the current fascist capitalist culture. Tampon gave us a few words about her music and philosophy.  

“My music is my manifesto. The first time I taped my cock between my ass cheeks felt like real rock and roll. There is nothing more against the system than the desire to cut your cock off. I can’t wait, there will more being a slave to my breeding instincts.”

The transgender artist is currently working on her sophomore album “Grip and snip”. It delves into the issues of fully transitioning genders. However, Tampon does not declare if she is going to be female.

“I’m against both genders. It is what enslaves all of us. We are all submissive to the mounds of throbbing tissue between are legs that drive us to make such selfish decisions. I think if we live in a world without gender then we will be one step closer to a human revolution that propels our species hundreds of years. We could all die out also, that would give mother earth a break from the plague we bring upon her.” said Tampon.

Tammy Tampon’s popularity is growing by the hour. Her social media presence is fierce, her live performances ferocious, and her attitude is hubristic. The music industry will be seeing more of this punk mistress in the future.

For more article too good that they are not true, go to broadbaymedia.blogspot.com

[chiaranissa]

Planned Parenthood’s New Campaign

10^2 Winds’ News

You give us the world, we also take your 20 minutes.

(This is parody news)

January 11, 2019

Early Friday morning, Planned Parenthood created a new hashtag: I stand to PP. The hashtag is meant to be inclusive of trans-women who do not regret their abortions and is an offshoot of the hashtag “I stand with PP.” The hashtag #IStandToPP is designed to embrace women of ALL body types. Women have a right to their bodies. Women have a right to the choose the type of body they have. Women have the right to choose the biological definition of their gender. Planned Parenthood’s decision to create the new campaign was inspired by the small outcry of the few trans-women in an obscure village right outside Chernobyl, Ukraine. The 2 trans-women, who were deeply offended, experienced intense emotional turmoil, isolation, tears, and sniffles as a result of the hashtag, “no vagina no opinion” which spread like hashtag wild fire. In their small village, it is nearly to impossible to obtain reconstructive surgery without bribing city doctors with anti-radioactivity shampoos to visit the small village. The two trans-women began dating about 3 week ago and soon discovered that one had become pregnant unexpectedly after a responsibly planned night of innocent vodka drinking. The village medicine man came to the rescue and performed the first abortion ever in that small village. The 2 trans-women wanted to share their lack of emotional connection to the loss of their baby and took to social media. The 2 trans-women received a lot of hate comments and backlash, but Planned Parenthood saw the couple as the poster child for the inclusion of ALL types of women and families. Planned Parenthood felt the 2 trans-women could showcase parents’ lack of regret for the planned aborting of the lives of their children while challenging the male chauvinism of overtly conservative straight cis men who pressure their wives with loving support to do the unimaginable and unheard of inhumane process of growing a human and giving birth to him/her. So show your support of women’s choice and join the #IStandToPP movement to show support for ALL women’s rights.

[cthulhu1930]

Agent Melania Trump secret feed

[salwarrremade]

PLS THE ANAL BIRTH POST HAS ME SCREAMING JFGKJFHDJGKDHFKFDH how can ppl believe that shit i 🚀🚀

REALLIWYYGEG i was so shocked and the fact that op even has "#parodynews" in the description.... like did you not read the post lol??????

[lightifyinnovationsco]

via RobotBanana

[chiaranissa]

UK Court Accuses Parents Who Want Their Child Alive of Child Abuse

10^2 Winds’ News

We give you the news, you give us the world.

May 2, 2018

(This is parody news)

On April 28, 2018, Mr. and Mrs. Evanson were accused of child abuse by the UK’s courts as they had been feeding their disabled baby who cannot lift a fork. The UK court’s judge, Judge Hitler (an unfortunate last name), sided with Alderf Hospital that Baby Evanson deserved to die and that sustaining his life was denying the child of his just rewards of peace. Mr. and Mrs. Evanson have been rightly placed in jail to prevent them from threatening Baby Evanson’s chances to die as they have a “bad attitude bent of aiding the infant’s survival.” Under UK law, Baby Evanson is property that belongs to the government and Judge Hitler stated that “the distribution of governmental funds will not be wasted to save a baby who deserves death due to his disability and no abusive parents will get in the way of my duty to enforce the laws that protect our children.” The same judge order last week that a young boy have his leg amputated after his parents tried to plead with hospital officials that falling off a bike and scraping his leg did not warrant removing his whole leg. But Alderf Hospital recognized the inhumanity in the parents’ absurd request and demanded the child’s leg be removed so he would never have to show ugly scars. We will update you on how Alderf Hospital Officials are dealing with their undeserved embarrassment and their hurt feelings as the parents of Baby Evanson are being sued for their bad attitude.

[chiaranissa]

Putin Sends the USA a W-2 Form

10^2 Winds’ News We give you the news, you give us the world.

(This is parody news)

May 8, 2017

Amidst the controversies of which USA political Party worked most with corrupt Russians, Putin has sent a W-2 form to the USA. Neither the Republicans nor the Democrats are willing to acknowledge it is their W-2 form. Both parties have filed for an extension on their taxes with the IRS. However, both parties have simultaneously insisted that the IRS does NOT work with Russia. Democrats insisted that Trump release his tax records in an attempt to prove he was paying Russia and helped Russia as far back as 2015 when the IRS was hacked. Meanwhile, Trump insisted that the FBI demand that Clinton and Weiner release their e-mails in an attempt to prove they were planning with Russia to take over the world. Massive amounts of college students have become overtly confused and in a recent survey done, about 79% of college students believe the United States has been absorbed into the Russian government and that Trump lives in the Kremlin. 15% of college students are not sure if America IS Russia because they are unfamiliar with the lay-out of current plate tectonic structure and 7% of college students said they did not file tax returns because it was too hard to add up all the money they made that year selling marijuana. Top Democrat officials are severely concerned with the current efforts of the FBI and feel that top FBI officials may be overwhelmed by Trump’s demands on them. Thus, some top Democrat officials are collectively considering on having top FBI officials retire and pass the torch down to younger people. They are considering initiating a yearly set of games in which young people more familiar with modern-day technology are selected from each state and compete on a self-contained island until 1 winner emerges. Since Trump has cut funding from games on self-contained islands, Democrats hope to gain sponsorships from fast food joints in an attempt to encourage playing games outside to help fight the obesity crisis while still feeding people. Thus, the games being considered are currently being called “The Hunger Games”. Some members of the FBI are a bit concerned that the name is suspiciously similar to a recent popular science fiction book and movie. But Democrats have suggested that is only a coincidence being distorted for political gain being propagated by white supremacist supporters of Trump and that Trump’s cutting of funds for games on self-contained islands is a direct measure against a healthy lifestyle and without a healthy lifestyle the majority of Americans will inevitably have a pre-existing condition according to the language detailed in the new GOP healthcare plan of Trump’s. Meanwhile, the IRS has received the 2016 tax returns for Snowden despite the FBI believes Snowden to be in Russia; thus further complicating matters and giving credence to the 94% of American college students who believe the USA IS Russia!

[chiaranissa]

Man Suffers Severe Brain Injury, Gets Deported by Trump

10^2 Winds’ News

We give you the news, you give us the world. (This is parody news.)

March 14, 2017

Early this morning, Jose Ramirez boarded a plane that was sending him back to Mexico with no hopes of obtaining therapy for a severe injury he incurred in 2008 during a soccer game. After his brain injury, Ramirez, a well-love security guard at PS 181 in Brooklyn, began exhibiting signs of extreme depression. His friends became very fearful for his well-being. Ramirez turned to self-medicating and began to use the Special K drugs he normally only sold to the young high school children who adored him. While taking the Special K (horse tranquilizer) he began to hallucinate and heard a voice telling him to go on a killing spree. The voice told him first he had to plan the killing spree for 5 months during which he would obtain fire arms, an ax, and copious amounts of duct tape. Then he was to go to PS 181 high school at night and store the weapons one at a time along with the copious amount of duct tape. Then this past February 14, 2017 he fired into a classroom. It was the day the voices told him to pick. He then picked 15 year old Juan Guadalupe and tied him with duct tape and pulled out an ax. Ramirez had previously asked the 15 year old to distribute Special K to a very needy 12 year old girl who needed to release stress after she discovered she was carrying Jose Ramirez’s baby. When Juan Guadalupe felt unable to serve the young girl, he left the Special K in a high school locker. That is where Ramirez found it and took it. It was that Special K which caused the voices. Ramirez felt Juan Guadalupe had caused his insanity with his lack of consideration to help a small 12 year old. But once again, cops seem to target Hispanic males, even those who serve the community as a well-loved security guard. Cops immediately responded to the scene and saved the true culprit Juan Guadalupe, who is a very pale, so basically white, descendant of Mexican immigrants and raised in white privilege in Flatbush. They successfully shot to wound Ramirez and place him in high security prison. When they discovered he had come to America at the age of 10 illegally with his uncle who was imprisoned in Mexico for operating a drug cartel, officials immediately decided that Trump’s regulations on illegal immigrants deemed Ramirez illegal and that they should deport him. Without ANY hearing in the country he served as a security guard, Ramirez was deported to Mexico. Many of his friends feel this is a great injustice to their friend who just needed some free medical therapy for his brain injury and they are now requesting that Juan Guadalupe, an American citizen, also be deported since he contributed to Ramirez’s demise. Ramirez’s mother cried blaming Trump for everything that has happened to her son.

[chiaranissa]

Communists Are The New Amoral Capitalists: Sanders Has Reassignment Surgery to Become President Tump, Regrets It

10^2 Winds’ News We give you the news, you give us the world.

(This is parody news)

May 31, 2017

According to a recent article published on the Communists’ website, 21st century communists of the Communist Party USA simultaneously care about the working class and do not want to actually employ the working class. They have decided that they will fight Trump’s plan to enable the impoverished Americans to find work and provide sufficiently for themselves. This effort of theirs is meant to promote amoral capitalism in an effort to prevent a growth of middle class workers. If they succeed in promoting amoral capitalism and in keeping people from getting jobs, they hope to prove to those impoverished jobless people that the capitalism that would have given them jobs to provide for their families is obviously very, very wrong. The new movement is meant to directly attack every person’s right to work as the author of the article wrote: “The GOP drive to implement right-to-work laws all across the country is clearly key but it’s not the only issue.” Clearly, being able to find a job is a huge issue the Communist Party wishes to attack. Sanders at first was a bit confused by the Communist Party’s new platform. The shift shook up Sanders so much that he actually began to identify with Trump in caring about the working class actually having work. But after one week of intense confusion, during which President Trump (non-surgical one) received the Pope’s encyclical on climate change and which President Trump (formerly known as Sanders) was updated that the Communist Party now does NOT support the working class actually working but that somehow it will HELP the working class, President Trump (formerly known as Sanders) regretted his decision and is currently at John Hopkin’s to have another reassignment...this time to Michelle Obama. Michelle Obama (Formerly President Trump who was formerly Sanders) feels she is finally the woman she always felt she was and hopes to become the First Woman President and to wave the flag of true feminist power!

[chiaranissa]

7 Year Old Transgender Girl Wins Wrestling Match: Parents Fight Back

10^2 Winds’ News

We give you the news, you give us the world. (This is parody news.)

March 8, 2017

At PS 181 in Brooklyn, parents of 7 year old Suzy Smith are horrified by the backlash and bullying their daughter received after she defeated 7 year old Gina McGuire in Monday’s girl’s wrestling match. The Smith family has commented saying things have been extremely difficult for Suzy during her transitioning phase and the bullying from kids at school is no help at all. The Smith family is appalled by the negative comments that have been directed towards Suzy by other parents! During Monday night’s wrestling game, one parent shouted, “You disgust me, Peter! DISGUST ME!” referring to Suzy offensively as Peter, while the other girls of PS 181 school′s wrestling team shouted, “you’re a man! Leave us alone!” Girls at PS 181 have also gone so far since Suzy’s transition to rebel by peeing all over the school because they refuse to use the same bathroom as a 6 foot 7 year old girl with a “spout down low” as one rebellious 6 year old described. Suzy Smith, born 1981, was born a male. But she never felt comfortable as an adult male. She always knew she was different but it was not until she turned 18 that she really began to know she was a 7 year old girl. “I just never could hold down a job or pay my bills on time,” Suzy commented to one of our reporters, “I loved getting presents on Christmas and candy at Easter time. I knew I was a girl my whole life, but when I didn’t hit puberty like the other girls did I started to become aware of my 7 year old permanent mind set.” Suzy is an active feminist in her second grade class and wants to be a wrestler when she grows up. She believes girls can be anything they want to be, even a 40 year old man. Suzy joined the girls’ wrestling club. Initially Suzy was denied entrance but her parents took it to court. During the case, the judge hearing the case disappeared during a break; and when he returned, he was covered in black and blues. While no official report was made about why the judge was covered in black and blues, many believe he had been attacked by the girls in the Girl Scouts of PS 181 who had been protesting outside the court. The judge was not intimidated, however, and immediately ruled in favor of Suzy. Suzy and her parents celebrated with a trip to Dick’s Sporting Goods to buy her a wrestling outfit. Monday night, March 7, was Suzy’s first wrestling match with fellow class mate Gina Mcguire. Gina was born 2010 as a female and has much more experience in wrestling than Suzy. Gina has been wrestling since kindergarten, but despite her 1 year advantage over Suzy, Suzy made her parents proud and took home her first wrestling award. Suzy’s spirit animal is a unicorn and she always wears her lucky unicorn underwear to all sporting events. Suzy’s parents will be continuing to spread awareness for transgender and transage children everywhere! Little Suzy, we here at 10^2 Winds News re rooting for you; you have warmed our hearts! To learn more about ways you can help stop bullying go to https://www.stopbullying.gov/

TOP PHOTO 7 year old Suzy Smith after winning her first wrestling match.

BOTTOM PHOTO 7 year old Gina McGuire

[lightifyinnovationsco]

via RobotBanana

[lightifyinnovationsco]

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[lightifyinnovationsco]

via RobotBanana

[chiaranissa]

Hillary and Bernie Discover They Just Have No Idea

Long Island 10^2 Winds News

We give you the news, you give us the world.

(This is parody news.)

July 8, 2016

Late last night, Hillary and Bernie got together to discuss where their campaigns were heading and to look over statistics. Both discovered that they failed to calculate into their campaigns that Americans still have some common sense. This oversight on their part is leading to an uproar of mistrust in them as good leaders. Bernie still thinks he is in the race. Hillary is concerned Bernie may never know when to quit and that he may think he is still in the race come this December. Hillary, on the other hand, celebrated not being thrown into jail with a nice frappe. Then the two of them read the news together. They were shocked to read how their public relations teams have once again been able to do exactly what they intended to do: to manipulate minority groups for their own agendas, to incite violence across races, to further diminish the work of minorities to gain equal rights and protection by pitting them against the country’s security forces. They then met up with the Progressive (aka Communist) leaders of the top public universities of the country, all 3 of them. There were originally 4, but one of them defected to the side of freedom after discovering her phone had been hacked and that, in order to be allowed to continue as a female Communist leader, she would have to become a man. The last 3 communicated the proceedings of the meeting to their groups of hipsters from the public universities via linux and ubuntu designed email systems. The 3 leaders were sad to acknowledge that Bernie had absolutely no chance and that their plans to confuse the masses of Americans had failed because it never even had a real chance. They were also devastated to accept the fact that Bernie was a puppet of Trump’s to help defeat Hillary. Hillary sighed the longest sigh ever recorded in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest sighs but then quickly recovered as she really did not care about winning the race, but rather about making enough money to retire so that she and Bill could move to a small village somewhere in Europe where a small group of neo-nazis are using advanced cloning methods to attempt to resurrect Margaret Sanger and Hitler so that the two of them could get married and traditionally give birth to a zombie baby of the most evil proportions. The Clintons feel they could offer good strategizing advice to this small group of national socialists of the fascist evil kind and could make a nice amount of money in their spare retired time. Trump continues to have a dumb blonde look as he tries to figure out how he has taken the lead to a whole new level of lead before he even expected to do so. His public relations team are also looking into hair transplants and speaking to a team of hair coloring specialists to see if his hair can be made to look pre-office somehow so that by the end of the term he can appear to have the traditional Presidential aging hair. If all else fails, Trump may consider braids. Meanwhile in foreign affairs, the head of North Korea wants to have lunch with Bernie to see if the two can team up for 2020. Bernie and his crew of hipsters are not sure if North Korea is socialist enough for their taste and they may vote to smoke some LSD and take a Tardis trip back in time to have lunch with Joseph Stalin instead.

[chiaranissa]

Local Long Island Man Victim to the Cops

Long Island 10^2 Winds News We give you the news, you give us the world.

March 21, 2016

Local Long Islander, Mipinion Rulez, was forced to use self defense late last night when Republican Arthur Fitzgerald expressed his disgusting views that he will vote Republican in the upcoming presidential election. Mipinion Rulez immediately screamed bloody murder and good samaritan Shatum Oop called 911. When the police arrived, Mipinion Rulez reported Arthur Fitzgerald for race hate crimes and violence. 

Witness Shatum Oop backed his report up. According to the police report she stated, “Yes, I was sitting sipping my spritzer when I heard Mr. Fitzgerald express his political views in public. Mipinion Rulez then in an act of self-defense and bravery punched him in the face in response to Mr. Fitzgerald’s political views that encourage violence and disrespect and that means he definitely supports the KKK. He brazenly said he would vote Republican in the presidential elections. If that isn’t a crime, then I don’t know what is and I have no hope for humanity.” 

However, local authorities arrested victim Mipinion Rulez and are currently holding him in custody. Protestors have lined up in front of the county jail with signs “FREE RULEZ! Liberal Lives Matter” Neither Ted Cruz nor Kasich have spoken up to disown fellow Republican Arthur Fitzgerald and this is obviously due to Trump using mind control methods to incept their brains and indoctrinate them into the 21st century resurrection of Hitler’s Nazi army. Sanders’s great-great-great-great-granddaughter, a middle schooler, tweeted her disgust of Arthur Fitzgerald and called out Clinton for her lack of response on the public matter. Clinton has yet to respond and we believe it is due to the fact that she does not know what Twitter is. (In fact, we have news coming in at the moment that her dog accidentally may have sent a Tweet containing top secret government information she was trying to text to Obama. More to follow on that.) The fact that a 12 year old understands the gravity of such situations better than most politicians just makes one question the current state of our country.

(PARODY NEWS)