#parodynews
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Tammy Tampon: Trans-punk goddess

There is no doubt that punk is dead. For the last twenty years, popular culture has seen the rise of hip hop. Look through any playlist of an angsty teenager and one would struggle to find a track with a real instrument on it. The rebellious spirit of the rock n roll is dead too. The skin thin veneer of anti-establishment sentiments in hip hop lexicon is easy to poke a hole through.into. The majority of the artists strive to be the capitalist scum they appear to be making a stand against. There does lie a silver lining in the sea of face tattoos and mumble lyrics. It is the last bastion of music to hold on to its balls.
In no other genre of music do you see a shameless representation of masculinity? The challenge is how to bring this mentality back to rock n roll. The solution is a social justice Trojan horse. Tammy Tampon, a transgender trash talking slut walking ball of self-destruction will bring the entertainment industry to heel. Through her anthems of anti-patriarchal mayhem, she will balance this state of unjust entertainment paradigms.
Her debut album āFist me now, love me laterā is a rocking start to what should be a long career. This collection of eight rebellious tracks conveys Tamponās contempt for the modern culture of monogamy. The single āGangbang on Sundayā is about a modern womanās urge to explore her dormant sexuality that is oppressed by the current fascist capitalist culture. Tampon gave us a few words about her music and philosophy. Ā
āMy music is my manifesto. The first time I taped my cock between my ass cheeks felt like real rock and roll. There is nothing more against the system than the desire to cut your cock off. I canāt wait, there will more being a slave to my breeding instincts.ā
The transgender artist is currently working on her sophomore album āGrip and snipā. It delves into the issues of fully transitioning genders. However, Tampon does not declare if she is going to be female.
āIām against both genders. It is what enslaves all of us. We are all submissive to the mounds of throbbing tissue between are legs that drive us to make such selfish decisions. I think if we live in a world without gender then we will be one step closer to a human revolution that propels our species hundreds of years. We could all die out also, that would give mother earth a break from the plague we bring upon her.ā said Tampon.
Tammy Tamponās popularity is growing by the hour. Her social media presence is fierce, her live performances ferocious, and her attitude is hubristic. The music industry will be seeing more of this punk mistress in the future.
For more article too good that they are not true, go to broadbaymedia.blogspot.com
22 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Planned Parenthoodās New Campaign
10^2 Windsā News
You give us the world, we also take your 20 minutes.
(This is parody news)
January 11, 2019
Early Friday morning, Planned Parenthood created a new hashtag: I stand to PP. The hashtag is meant to be inclusive of trans-women who do not regret their abortions and is an offshoot of the hashtag āI stand with PP.ā The hashtag #IStandToPP is designed to embrace women of ALL body types. Women have a right to their bodies. Women have a right to the choose the type of body they have. Women have the right to choose the biological definition of their gender. Planned Parenthoodās decision to create the new campaign was inspired by the small outcry of the few trans-women in an obscure village right outside Chernobyl, Ukraine. The 2 trans-women, who were deeply offended, experienced intense emotional turmoil, isolation, tears, and sniffles as a result of the hashtag, āno vagina no opinionā which spread like hashtag wild fire. In their small village, it is nearly to impossible to obtain reconstructive surgery without bribing city doctors with anti-radioactivity shampoos to visit the small village. The two trans-women began dating about 3 week ago and soon discovered that one had become pregnant unexpectedly after a responsibly planned night of innocent vodka drinking. The village medicine man came to the rescue and performed the first abortion ever in that small village. The 2 trans-women wanted to share their lack of emotional connection to the loss of their baby and took to social media. The 2 trans-women received a lot of hate comments and backlash, but Planned Parenthood saw the couple as the poster child for the inclusion of ALL types of women and families. Planned Parenthood felt the 2 trans-women could showcase parentsā lack of regret for the planned aborting of the lives of their children while challenging the male chauvinism of overtly conservative straight cis men who pressure their wives with loving support to do the unimaginable and unheard of inhumane process of growing a human and giving birth to him/her. So show your support of womenās choice and join the #IStandToPP movement to show support for ALL womenās rights.
#womenshealth#Planned Parenthood#istandwithplannedparenthood#istandwithpp#womensrights#choice#abortion#sayabortion#prolife#parodynews#parody#comedy#comedynews#news#IStandToPP
2 notes
Ā·
View notes
Photo
Agent Melania Trump secret feed
654 notes
Ā·
View notes
Note
PLS THE ANAL BIRTH POST HAS ME SCREAMING JFGKJFHDJGKDHFKFDH how can ppl believe that shit i šš
REALLIWYYGEG i was so shocked and the fact that op even has "#parodynews" in the description.... like did you not read the post lol??????
#asks#well this is also what happens when ur teachers skip the reproductive system lesson in 9th grade
0 notes
Text
UK Court Accuses Parents Who Want Their Child Alive of Child Abuse
10^2 Windsā News
We give you the news, you give us the world.
May 2, 2018
(This is parody news)
On April 28, 2018, Mr. and Mrs. Evanson were accused of child abuse by the UKās courts as they had been feeding their disabled baby who cannot lift a fork. The UK courtās judge, Judge Hitler (an unfortunate last name), sided with Alderf Hospital that Baby Evanson deserved to die and that sustaining his life was denying the child of his just rewards of peace. Mr. and Mrs. Evanson have been rightly placed in jail to prevent them from threatening Baby Evansonās chances to die as they have aĀ ābad attitude bent of aiding the infantās survival.ā Under UK law, Baby Evanson is property that belongs to the government and Judge Hitler stated that āthe distribution of governmental funds will not be wasted to save a baby who deserves death due to his disability and no abusive parents will get in the way of my duty to enforce the laws that protect our children.ā The same judge order last week that a young boy have his leg amputated after his parents tried to plead with hospital officials that falling off a bike and scraping his leg did not warrant removing his whole leg. But Alderf Hospital recognized the inhumanity in the parentsā absurd request and demanded the childās leg be removed so he would never have to show ugly scars. We will update you on how Alderf Hospital Officials are dealing with their undeserved embarrassment and their hurt feelings as the parents of Baby Evanson are being sued for their bad attitude.
#Alder hospital#UK#uk court#baby alfie#alfie evans#alfie#Alfie's Law#prolife#eugenics#parody news#parody#comedy#fake news#parodynews#parental rights#socialism#communism#socialistic healthcare#socialistic medicine#obamacare
1 note
Ā·
View note
Text
Putin Sends the USA a W-2 Form
10^2 Windsā News We give you the news, you give us the world.
(This is parody news)
May 8, 2017
Amidst the controversies of which USA political Party worked most with corrupt Russians, Putin has sent a W-2 form to the USA. Neither the Republicans nor the Democrats are willing to acknowledge it is their W-2 form. Both parties have filed for an extension on their taxes with the IRS. However, both parties have simultaneously insisted that the IRS does NOT work with Russia. Democrats insisted that Trump release his tax records in an attempt to prove he was paying Russia and helped Russia as far back as 2015 when the IRS was hacked. Meanwhile, Trump insisted that the FBI demand that Clinton and Weiner release their e-mails in an attempt to prove they were planning with Russia to take over the world. Massive amounts of college students have become overtly confused and in a recent survey done, about 79% of college students believe the United States has been absorbed into the Russian government and that Trump lives in the Kremlin. 15% of college students are not sure if America IS Russia because they are unfamiliar with the lay-out of current plate tectonic structure and 7% of college students said they did not file tax returns because it was too hard to add up all the money they made that year selling marijuana. Top Democrat officials are severely concerned with the current efforts of the FBI and feel that top FBI officials may be overwhelmed by Trumpās demands on them. Thus, some top Democrat officials are collectively considering on having top FBI officials retire and pass the torch down to younger people. They are considering initiating a yearly set of games in which young people more familiar with modern-day technology are selected from each state and compete on a self-contained island until 1 winner emerges. Since Trump has cut funding from games on self-contained islands, Democrats hope to gain sponsorships from fast food joints in an attempt to encourage playing games outside to help fight the obesity crisis while still feeding people. Thus, the games being considered are currently being called āThe Hunger Gamesā. Some members of the FBI are a bit concerned that the name is suspiciously similar to a recent popular science fiction book and movie. But Democrats have suggested that is only a coincidence being distorted for political gain being propagated by white supremacist supporters of Trump and that Trumpās cutting of funds for games on self-contained islands is a direct measure against a healthy lifestyle and without a healthy lifestyle the majority of Americans will inevitably have a pre-existing condition according to the language detailed in the new GOP healthcare plan of Trumpās. Meanwhile, the IRS has received the 2016 tax returns for Snowden despite the FBI believes Snowden to be in Russia; thus further complicating matters and giving credence to the 94% of American college students who believe the USA IS Russia!
#IRS#democrats#republicans#trump#obamacare#gop#trumpcare#healthcare#gop healthcare#parodynews#humor#fakenews#the hunger games#hunger games#hungergames#snowden#putin#russianhackers#russia#taxes#thekremlin#kremilin#whitehouse#parody
1 note
Ā·
View note
Text
Communists Are The New Amoral Capitalists: Sanders Has Reassignment Surgery to Become President Tump, Regrets It
10^2 Windsā News We give you the news, you give us the world.
(This is parody news)
May 31, 2017
According to a recent article published on the Communistsā website, 21st century communists of the Communist Party USA simultaneously care about the working class and do not want to actually employ the working class. They have decided that they will fight Trumpās plan to enable the impoverished Americans to find work and provide sufficiently for themselves. This effort of theirs is meant to promote amoral capitalism in an effort to prevent a growth of middle class workers. If they succeed in promoting amoral capitalism and in keeping people from getting jobs, they hope to prove to those impoverished jobless people that the capitalism that would have given them jobs to provide for their families is obviously very, very wrong. The new movement is meant to directly attack every personās right to work as the author of the article wrote: āThe GOP drive to implement right-to-work laws all across the country is clearly key but itās not the only issue.ā Clearly, being able to find a job is a huge issue the Communist Party wishes to attack. Sanders at first was a bit confused by the Communist Partyās new platform. The shift shook up Sanders so much that he actually began to identify with Trump in caring about the working class actually having work. But after one week of intense confusion, during which President Trump (non-surgical one) received the Popeās encyclical on climate change and which President Trump (formerly known as Sanders) was updated that the Communist Party now does NOT support the working class actually working but that somehow it will HELP the working class, President Trump (formerly known as Sanders) regretted his decision and is currently at John Hopkinās to have another reassignment...this time to Michelle Obama. Michelle Obama (Formerly President Trump who was formerly Sanders) feels she is finally the woman she always felt she was and hopes to become the First Woman President and to wave the flag of true feminist power!
#afl-cio#anti-racism#Trump#Sanders#CPUSA#parody#parodynews#humor#funny#comedy#news#feminist#marixts#marxism#strategy#donald trump#tactics#michelle obama#obama#identity#john hopkins#alvaro rodriguez
0 notes
Text
Local Long Island Man Victim to the Cops
Long Island 10^2 Winds News We give you the news, you give us the world.
March 21, 2016
Local Long Islander,Ā Mipinion Rulez, was forced to use self defense late last night when Republican Arthur Fitzgerald expressed his disgusting views that he will vote Republican in the upcoming presidential election. Mipinion Rulez immediately screamed bloody murder and good samaritan Shatum Oop called 911. When the police arrived, Mipinion Rulez reported Arthur Fitzgerald for race hate crimes and violence.Ā
Witness Shatum Oop backed his report up. According to the police report she stated,Ā āYes, I was sitting sipping my spritzer when I heard Mr. Fitzgerald express his political views in public. Mipinion Rulez then in an act of self-defense and bravery punched him in the face in response to Mr. Fitzgeraldās political views that encourage violence and disrespect and that means he definitely supports the KKK. He brazenly said he would vote Republican in the presidential elections. If that isnāt a crime, then I donāt know what is and I have no hope for humanity.āĀ
However, local authorities arrested victim Mipinion Rulez and are currently holding him in custody. Protestors have lined up in front of the county jail with signsĀ āFREE RULEZ! Liberal Lives Matterā Neither Ted Cruz nor Kasich have spoken up to disown fellow Republican Arthur Fitzgerald and this is obviously due to Trump using mind control methods to incept their brains and indoctrinate them into the 21st century resurrection of Hitlerās Nazi army. Sandersās great-great-great-great-granddaughter, a middle schooler, tweeted her disgust of Arthur Fitzgerald and called out Clinton for her lack of response on the public matter. Clinton has yet to respond and we believe it is due to the fact that she does not know what Twitter is. (In fact, we have news coming in at the moment that her dog accidentally may have sent a Tweet containing top secret government information she was trying to text to Obama. More to follow on that.) The fact that a 12 year old understands the gravity of such situations better than most politicians just makes one question the current state of our country.
(PARODY NEWS)
#parody#comedy#parodynews#news#politics#trump#donaldtrump#tedcruz#cruz#kasich#johnkasich#clinton#hilaryclinton#sanders#berniesanders#bernie#feelthebern#republican#republicans#democrat#democrats#democratic#independent#independentparty#politicalparty#party#parties#president#presidentialelections#tolerance
1 note
Ā·
View note