#parental neglect tw

[wannabecatwriter]

It was nice to take a bath and not feel like she might pass out for once - for the past few days, Val's been feeling majorly under the weather. She was better now and pondering things.

To think that she was a married woman now and a mother - even a short while ago, she would have said it'll never happen for her. But life had a funny way with things.

Growing up with parents who never seemed to parent her much, she learned to take care of herself and not wait for them. It was necessary.

It also led to her going through life on autopilot, sometimes, taking care of everything and everyone around her, fixing problems wherever she perceived them and being a lifesaver for friends who needed one.

But what did she need? She wasn't even sure. Yes, she dated once or twice in college. But those relationships felt almost automatic, which, looking back now, she knew wasn't healthy.

If not for the mental breakdown she had that forced her to quit working at Joja, and not for her parents' behavior that followed, maybe she would still be in that cycle.

Her grandpa leaving her that farm proved to be something that really saved her life. She made great connections in Pelican Town. And found the love of her life.

Sometimes, she was still amazed that Elliott fell for her. Old Val would've friend-zoned him automatically, assuming he was out of her league. But somehow, she was so comfortable around him that they became a family.

Life sure was strange sometimes.

[maerps]

every now and again, annalise will send postcards to her father from her occasional travels. she has never received anything back.

sometimes i think about this and just cry because it’s just so fucking sad!!! she has such a miserable excuse for a father that even after all he’s done to her, after she had the chance to kill him and chose not to, he still won’t indulge her in the simplest things like sending a letter in the mail or responding to her postcards. the last words she ever spoke to him were asking him to change and even knowing he was losing her for good he still wasn’t receptive and went right back to continue his work without taking any time to consider her request. he never considers her and he never really has, but she still caught herself hoping. when she left he lost his project, but she lost her father. it takes her over a decade to work through all the trauma regarding her father and her childhood, work that’s never truly finished—and even after all of that she’ll still find herself reaching out for a connection she knows isn’t there and won’t amount to anything. she’ll get stellar marks in university or ace a debate and suddenly want to tell him—or when she finally gets through school and gets her first job as a nurse, she’ll have this urge to send him a picture of her receiving her degree. she’ll have an off day at work or maybe she sees something medically strange and she wants so badly to pick up the phone and exchange theories with him. but he was never truly there for her to begin with, why would he start now? and while it’s something annalise has presently come to accept, it’s something she still struggles with every now and again, and every time she’ll have to make herself remember “oh right, that’s not something we do.”

[noralevin]

Send 👔 for my muse to talk about their father

"My first real memory of my dad... I was five, and he and my mom were... finishing up junior year of college, I think? They both came home for a weekend before going to New York for some internship, and my dad wouldn't pick me up. Like, physically would not lift me and hold me. I asked him to, because I was five and my nanny was like, 'Nora, go say hi to daddy,' but I remember him just looking down at me like I was some alien.

I think he still looks at me like that sometimes. Sometimes, when I'm feeling real masochistic, I think about what I must look like to him. This kid he didn't want and who could've ruined everything if my family didn't have so much fucking money. I think he thinks about me more in terms of how much I've cost him through the years than anything else.

But what's so fucked about it is that I think he resents me for that, but money's also the only way he's ever known how to show any kind of affection at all. When I finished fifth grade, my dad didn't come to the stupid little graduation they held, but I got one of those little pink plastic Jeeps you can ride around in and a ladybug cellphone. He paid for my rent my first year in New York but only ever called to remind me to forward the bills.

So then it's a double-edge sword, right? He feels like I owe him because of all of this money he's thrown at me. Honestly, so do I sometimes, even though I hate him most days. It's still hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that this guy is the reason I have so many things, but he also wasn't even involved in picking out my name. He and my mom left it up to her parents. See the problem here?"

[helldustedstories]

Stolas never knew his mother. For all he knows, he's not even sure he has one. Paimon is the only parent he's ever known, and he was not often around, leaving Stolas in the care of the servants around the palace for long swathes of time. He spent more time with his tutors and Mr. Butler than he did with any of his actual family members.

When he was younger, he wondered about his mother, if she existed, quite a bit. What would she have been like? Would things be different if she was still around? Had she decided to leave, or had Paimon made that decision for her? Would she have loved him?

There's part of him that still occasionally asks those questions, but more on Octavia's behalf than his own. Would his mother have helped him make a good life for his daughter? Would she care about her at all? Or would he still be on his own, trying to provide all the love and care for his own child that he'd been denied?

So to say he doesn't really have a relationship with holidays that celebrate mothers is an understatement. He pulled on his mask and went through the motions to celebrate Stella, the way he was supposed to, as part of making sure Octavia had a normal childhood, but for himself, it's just another day on the calendar, another reminder of how alone he was for most of his life.

[mewintheflesh-2]

I think Mikey’s parents were a bit accidentally neglectful of him, which I think also ties into his desperate need to be acknowledged and recognised. Not that anybody in the same position as him wouldn’t also be deprecate for someone to acknowledge what they’ve done, I just think that it’s amplified even more with Mikey.

I think he had more of an attachment to his mother than father, and would oftentimes cling to her like a puppy when he was much younger. I think his mother just put more emotional investment into him than his father did. His father still loved him though, he just didn’t know exactly how to show his emotions properly as much as someone like his mother did.

I think the neglect happened by pure happenstance, it wasn’t really any of their faults, they were busy with work a lot of the time, sometimes working overtime because their job needed them there that much, often accidentally making false promises they’d be home that night before having to call home to break the news that they’d have to work late again.

They’d oftentimes make accidental false promises on other accounts. Promises to take him places, to cook him dinner that night, to get him something he really wanted. So he’d often be looking forward to something with all his heart only to have it shattered when he realises they didn’t fufill what they promised. It wasn’t like they didn’t have the money to, no, they were more than well off in this regard. It was just pure happenstance. He wishes he could blame them present day, just to have someone to pin the blame on, but he knows it wasn’t their fault, so he really can’t bring himself to.

I’m not sure about the status of his parents in the present day. I’m 99% sure they’re alive?? If they’re doing well is another question in it’s entirety.

[incaensio]

setting : on the way to the museum, after the interviews with : coriolanus snow @fatefought

kiran suggests they go together on his own lift to the museum with some other gamemakers, but constantinus has an excuse on the tip of his tongue; it is delivered with an apologetic crinkle of the eyes and a salute as means to say see you soon before hurrying to the exit, where the presidential car awaits. he catches the president and the first lady just before she takes the last step, and with a kiss to his grandmother's hand, then her cheek, connie announces he will be joining his grandparents that night because he just hasn't gotten enough of them between his run from the gamemaker seats to the presidential ones. so he scoots in, comfortably between his grandparents.

"grandsire." coriolanus snow receives a bright smile, as if connie is still that nine year old who's star-struck by a man so imposing like the president (his father always made for poor comparison; cornelius snow only gave his only child the time of the day to drag him around by the neckline like a dog, or to whimper his apologies with glazed eyes); a kiss comes too, to the cheek, still like that good natured boy but constantinus pulls himself away quicker than he had with is grandmother. his grandfather smells of death — the same putrid scent from nadia's mouth as he tried and tried to get her to breathe, to no avail (it surprises him everyday that he withstands this; a weaker person may have succumbed to the never stopping anger, but he is cold. he is a snow, after all, and knows he must bide his time, even if he loathes to kiss and pander to a murderer).

the driver takes off, guiding them to the museum; there will be some extra traffic tonight, with all the extra cars around the city going to the same place, and constantinus sucks on his teeth, his annoyance at caesar flickerman the only thing unconcealed in this car from his part. "did you like the scores this year, grandpa?" he queries, casually, as if he's not truly asking the president if he's decided to rig things this year (sometimes, gamemakers have to yield; usually, that's not disclosed between them all, only plutarch would know, but connie knows that some of those scores were not the ones he voted on).

[learningfromlosing]

Shout out to my fellow kin who grew up without having a proper birthday due to parental neglect.

They absolutely are important.

You absolutely do deserve to be celebrated.

You absolutely are special and people do love you, even if your family doesn't.

[recklessinventor]

“Funny story, actually, I learned to read and write at two or three. Much, much earlier than when I learned to speak at almost five, heh...”

[oftatteredwings]

⸻  MENA MASSOUD. THEY + THEM / have you ever     heard of  HOW SOON IS NOW by the smiths, well,     it describes DARIUS KAMAL to a tee! the 29 year old, and BELLHOP AT THE RITZ was spotted browsing     through the stalls at portobello road market last sunday, do you know     them? would you say  THEY are  more stubborn or more SELF-DISCIPLINED instead?     anyway, they remind me of hot drinks on cold, foggy mornings, 80’s inspired sports gear, a hatred for all things monochrome and always being five seconds away from falling asleep, maybe you’ll bump into     them soon! 

time in notting hill ; 3 years.

tw: parental neglect

ABOUT.

Name: Darius Kamal Nicknames: None Age: Twenty-nine Date of Birth: 7th July 1993 Birth place: Birmingham, UK Occupation:  Bellhop at the Ritz Romantic/sexual orientation: Panromantic/pansexual

Darius’s childhood started with what was supposed to be hope. They adored their home and the close knit community they were born into on the outskirts of the city. It had such potential.

Unfortunately for them, as they grew and began to figure themselves out, questioning as they reached their teens, their parents became uninterested. All they seemed to care about was how they were doing in class or what time they’d be home from their friend’s house. As for what was going on in Darius’s head or how they were really feeling inside, that didn’t matter.

It was easy for them to begin to feel abandoned, like they had no one to turn to. In the end they bonded with a teacher at their school, would hide out in their classroom at lunch times and basically avoid everyone else.

They chose college over A levels, spent two years on the stage studying performing arts. In the end it wouldn’t actually go anywhere, but they had the time of their life, spent weekends heading down to London and watching shows, making a bunch of new friends and living life to its fullest... finally.

That was what prompted the move to the big city in the end. It was an easy decision to make and anything to get away from the family that had been so keen to disown them. 

They moved in with a group of theatre friends and they spent most of their evenings working backstage at various locations around the city. They weren’t entirely sure if it was what they wanted to do with their life, but it worked for now and they were happy, an entirely odd sensation after so many years spent miserable back in Birmingham.

Eventually they found themselves in Notting Hill, completely drawn in by the colourful streets, by the carnival, by everything it had to offer.

The job as a bellhop at the Ritz kind of fell into their lap. It works for now, even if they spend multiple days a week doing doubles —- the tips make it worth it, the rich and famous handing over £50 notes after Darius drops their bags off at their door. What could be bad?

HEADCANONS.

coming soon...

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

- roommates. ( jaya, teddy. ) - theatre friends - og roommates/the group that helped them find themselves. - coffee friends. - really anything at all !!!

[aromanticbastards]

having parents who work in a medical field and think they know everything about how bodies work is so great you end up 20 years old slowly finding out that everything you have been told is normal and can be fixed with more exercise is in fact not normal

[kingsmedley]

headcanons: joshua’s relationship (or lack thereof) with his parents

i realized i’ve mentioned what joshua’s home life was like when he was alive but i’ve never really gone into much detail about it, so i figured i’d finally write some stuff out!

(under a cut for length and subject matter.)

his parents never wanted kids. he was an accident, and they weren't shy in letting him know that he was not wanted and they did not care about him.

of the two of them, his mother was the most involved. while his father consistently ignored him for pretty much his whole childhood, his mother made attempts to get to know him on several occasions; she would take him out to eat or to do some activity, and while it was never quite something he enjoyed, he didn’t mind. when he was little, he would get excited, even. however, she always held him at an arm’s length, acting cold and distant in her interactions even when she asked about his life, and didn’t try to hide the distaste and disinterest that would grow as the day went on. he grew to dread these outings, and eventually she stopped trying altogether.

joshua was never entirely sure what his parents did for work (and didn’t really care, frankly), but his family was wealthy and he knew that they both worked and were often gone, both during the day and for multiple days at a time. he wasn’t sure if they were business trips or vacations and they wouldn’t tell him in advance when they were leaving, he would just have to figure it out when they didn’t come home at night.

they started leaving him home alone as soon as they deemed him old enough to take care of himself, and he was resourceful enough to make do. he taught himself how to cook, though he was limited to whatever was already in the house, so he was rarely able to eat enough or meet his nutritional needs, which resulted in him being underweight and worsened his lethargy and inability to focus. even when they were around, his parents would ignore him to the point where they would forget to feed him or go out to eat without him.

joshua was often left to his own devices, though he mostly stayed in his room when he was in the house at the same time as his parents because it was just safer for him. his parents had strict expectations and rules, but they never laid out what exactly those were, and he would often only find out he’d done something wrong in their eyes when he was being punished for it, either verbally or physically, usually by his mother. she didn't get physical with him very often, but she did when his academic performance didn't meet their standards, he talked too much about the things he saw, or was generally too present in a way they deemed embarrassing.

they pushed him for academic success as well as participation in extracurriculars. he was put in piano lessons when he was very young, and later let him learn the flute, as well. these lessons were the highlight of his childhood, as he discovered a love for music through them, and his parents let him continue all the way up until he died. he didn’t always do well in school, though, due to focus issues (due to his poor diet and undiagnosed adhd), the bullying from his peers, and him simply not caring. as long as his grades never got low enough for the school to actually contact them, his parents didn't care enough to fact-check him, and as long as he faked a report card to go along with it he would be in the clear. they also deemed any physical signs of the bullying he was experiencing to be embarrassing, so he would steal concealer and foundation from his mother to cover anything up.

on that note--he stole from his parents quite a bit. if he asked, they would buy him most things he wanted as long as his behavior had been good recently, but he got no spending money or allowance of his own and didn’t always feel comfortable asking, so he would just take whatever he needed without asking. when he discovered wildkat, he didn’t want to tell his parents about it, so all the money he spent there had been stolen. sometimes he would take other things, too, simply out of spite, though he'd put them back eventually if he had no use for them.

he also didn’t come out as trans to them because he simply didn’t see a point. they barely acknowledged him anyway and he didn’t expect to live long enough for it to matter beyond them using the right name and pronouns, and it was also likely that they wouldn’t take it well and telling them would only make things worse for him.

when he died, his parents covered up the fact that it had been a suicide to save face, put on a performance of mourning for an acceptable period of time, and moved on with their lives.

joshua has never really talked to anyone about this, not even mr. h, because he didn’t want to talk about it while he was alive and now, he doesn’t think it really matters anymore--he wants to shed his human life completely, so while he occasionally manages to acknowledge some of his mindsets and behaviors as remnants of it, for the most part he tries to completely ignore it and pretend he’s past it.

[helldustedstories]

Stolas is very used to having to put on some sort of mask with pretty much everyone.

With his father, he learned to become the dutiful son who was obedient and never showed his emotions beyond what was "respectable" for the situation. He knew he meant little to Paimon beyond the fact that he was to carry on the Ars Goetia name (his birthday certainly wasn't the only time his father forgot his name), and he played that part to perfection. Stolas married Stella, despite having absolutely zero interest in any sort of relationship with her, he didn't complain about …. basically anything.

Because if he ever did, he would be belittled and put down. He was excited about getting his grimoire and learning what his job was going to be, only for that to be immediately followed up with "Also, you're going to marry this person you don't know and the picture I'm showing you is of her actively hurting her pets." And when Stolas understandably reacted to that, he was told "that's an ugly noise" and to "cease this bitch crying."

It certainly wasn't the first time his father told him something like that, and it wouldn't be the last.

He's so drawn to Blitzo at the circus because the performer was clearly excited about what he was doing, and he didn't let his failure to make a balloon horse right away get him down. Instead, he kept trying and when he made a horse without legs, he made a joke about it instead. And when Stolas laughed, he responded to him and appreciated the fact he'd gotten a response, which was also a first for Stolas.

He was already starry-eyed about Blitzo before the latter came to the house because of that tiny interaction, and then suddenly, Blitzo was there, in his house. He had liked that Stolas had laughed at his joke; maybe he could share some things of his own, share any of himself without being scolded for it! Sure, Blitzo wasn't that interested in his books, but he showed Stolas something he'd never had before: how to play games. Stolas was able to have fun and be himself without fear for the first time.

He truly considered Blitzo to be his friend, and if he'd had any way of keeping in touch, he would have.

But that was the last time he was really allowed to behave in any way childishly. Because after that point, he had to become the dutiful son again, focus on his studies. No more carefree days of playing with other children.

And when he came of age, he married Stella. He certainly wasn't interested in their marriage, but he tried very hard to be, hoping that if he put in the effort, it would change how he felt.

But once they had Octavia (when he was only nineteen), it quickly became clear that his marriage to Stella was going to continue to be one of convenience and nothing more. Stolas still tried to be a good husband, so that he could also be a better father than his had been, but even then, he couldn't really let his himself just be.

Stella continued to put him down, insulting him in pretty much any way she could think of, and he couldn't show how much it got to him. Because if he did, then that would only give her something else to throw back at him.

He tried to shield Via from the worst of it, but every year that went by, it got harder and harder to do.

Other than his daughter, he was incredibly lonely, sequestered for much of his life, and controlled in some aspect for so much of it.

It's part of the reason why, when his first friend returned, and showed interest in him, Stolas was so intrigued. He'd never felt wanted before that point, never had anyone express any sort of desire for him, and for it to be this person he'd been himself with, even if it had been twenty five years previous, is so foreign to him.

And so when Blitz is flirting and forward, even then, because he has no idea how to act in this situation because he's never been in this sort of situation before, he tries to match Blitz's energy because that's what he wants, right? And Stolas is used to putting other people's wants before his own.

But as he spends more time with Blitz, especially when they're not just sleeping together, he starts to show more of himself, starts to actually let someone see who he really is. And that's how he has the courage to stand up to Stella, to finally initiate a divorce. Because if someone like Blitz, this bold, courageous, funny, amazing person can see him for who he is and doesn't immediately push him away or hate him, then maybe he can do something for himself for once. Maybe he can make his own life better.

Because now he knows there is a better. He had been trying to stick it out and stay in the marriage, to try to provide Octavia some form of stability, but that hasn't been working, and is, in fact, actively harming his daughter. Which is even more important than his own well-being. He's going to do better so that he can also be better for Octavia, if it's not too late. The status quo hasn't been working, and Stolas is finally figuring out a way to take off his masks, even the ones he wears for himself.

[fledermoved]

@friendshipscrown​

—– 🧶🧶🧶 —–

Canterlot was so beautiful this time of year, and a little fuzzy feline was about to learn all of this for himself, unintentional though it was.

He had been the runt. The uncontested, the detested, and the irritating. Such a critter just wouldn't do what he was told, and with parents so impatient, they'd all but given up on trying to tame his curiosity.

And so, as one does, he'd taken a nap in an unsuspecting travel wagon, carried farther than he'd ever gone before.

Sleepy eyes blinked and paws rubbed across his head and at his eyes, blinking at the fresh sunlight hitting his face as he peeked from the straw and stood on wobbly feet.

A great inhale, then a sneeze, which sent him tumbling right off the wagon.

—– 🧶🧶🧶 —–

[maerps]

thinking about how annalise bases so much of her self-worth on how she's doing academically or in her career and sometimes even in her personal life. failures on her end are something she struggles so very deeply with, and annalise can see a failure in almost anything—even little things like a mistake in paperwork or her writing not being legible enough. they make her feel so worthless because growing up, she was conditioned to feel like her father only loved her when she did something good. she only saw him smile so genuinely when she aced a quiz or passed one of his tests or one of her tutors gave her a good mark. and that translated into annalise growing up not feeling worthy unless she's doing everything perfectly. she also struggles with receiving criticism because of this—she'll often take it, twist it, and spiral (although she's gotten a lot better about this in present times). a mistake in paperwork? she's going to triple-check everything she ever writes down from now on. she needs to work on her interpersonal skills? catch her taking night classes for months and barely resting because she's so consumed with studying and overcoming it on such an unhealthy fucking scale.

annalise would guilt herself into a coma if she could over the smallest fucking mistakes, even now, because she genuinely can't feel all right with herself if she doesn't actively see perfection or progress. and god don't get me started on how it impacts her healing journey because it's evident so much then... only a few weeks into therapy and she's breaking down because she's not miraculously cured and her past still haunts her. she thinks she's done something wrong because she hasn't been able to "fix" herself only weeks after beginning the work and it makes her feel unworthy of even healing.

[starfoam]

In hindsight, she tolerated a lot of "discouragement" in the name of loving her father.

[newsalvations]

robert scott wilson, homosexual + homoromantic, cis man + he/him → isn’t that lysander finch? i’ve seen them hanging out with the siphoners. i hear they’re thirty-six years old, but they’ve only been in alexandria for four years. they seem to be charismatic & dutiful, but also resentful & vengeful. it’s cool that they’re capable of molecular combustion, molecular immobilization, divination + healing!

BASIC INFORMATION

full name: lysander alexander finch

nickname(s): ly, sander

age: thirty-six

date of birth: december 6

hometown: astoria, oregon

current location: alexandria, louisiana

species: siphoner

ethnicity: white

nationality: american

gender: cis man

pronouns: he/him

orientation: homosexual + homoromantic

occupation: tarot card reader + fortuneteller at the scrying eye

living arrangements: tbd

language(s): english, latin

accent: northwestern american

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

face claim: robert scott wilson

hair color: black

eye color: brown

height: 6'1"

weight: 171 lb

build: athletic

tattoos: one on his shoulder blade, one on his left bicep

usual expression: scolding or devilish grin

distinguishing characteristics: strong jawline

PERSONALITY

positive traits: charismatic, dutiful, hard working

negative traits: vengeful, resentful, jaded

myers brigg: estp

zodiac sign: sagitarrius

element: fire

enneagram: the investigator

temperament: choleric

hogwarts house: slytherin

moral alignment: chaotic neutral

primary vice: wrath

primary virtue: diligence

fears: reuniting with his father

hobbies: drawing

FAMILY

father: amycus finch

mother: cassandra finch (deceased)

sibling(s): phoebe finch, apollonia finch, ambrose finch, damocles finch, icarus finch

pet(s): none

FAVORITES

weather: sunny

season: summer

color: green

music: classic rock

movies: action

beverage: liqour

food: burgers

animal: dogs

NSFW

preference: versatile, switch

kinks: breeding, flip flopping, public sex, marking, roleplay, dom/sub, open

anti kinks: scat, vomit, blood play, etc

BIOGRAPHY

tw: brief mentions of parental neglect/abuse + death

the oldest son of the powerful finch family, lysander was born with high expectations already put on him as the next supreme of their coven. when he didn't show any magical signs at an early age, this was worrying for his parents who put lysander through great danger to try and activate his magic. it wasn't until he grabbed onto his mother for protection and absorbed some of her power that they realized what he was.

his father was already not fond of lysander for his lack of magical gifts, but being a siphoner wasn't any better. instead, they gave more attention to lysander's younger siblings with phoebe being the most likely to take the title of supreme. lysander would be forced to train himself for the next several years, much to the disdain of his father.

around his twenty first birthday, lysander's mother was killed and people immediately suspected lysander. his father, a traditional witch, wanted to burn lysander alive at the stake for his assumed crimes though lysander refused to go quietly. he was able to absorb enough magic from two of the elders who tried dragging him away, though he didn't realize it was too much magic for him to contain at the time. this was when one of his gifts, molecular combustion, first appeared and he killed both elders. this resulted in a fire that nearly destroyed the house, though it was enough of a distraction for him to escape.

after this, he knew his father would try and hunt him down so he fled east. lysander never stayed anywhere for long, usually leaving in the middle of the night unannounced. he continued to try and master his craft, finding small magical communities who could help him.

the last time he saw his father was six years ago when apollonia helped track him down in toronto and the two tried to pick him up. apollonia was the one who found him and although the two had a brief reunion, she ultimately let him escape before their father caught up.

he found alexandria by accident four years ago during a visit to new orleans. although it was initially only going to be a brief visit with plans to fly to europe, lysander found that the town was the perfect place for him to exist. every inch of the town was crawling in magic, something he'd been desperately in dire need of. so he settled and got a job as a fortune teller to pay his bills.