#paranoia is my bestest friend right now
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really need new internet friends who would love to trauma dump with me.
i also really feel like i need to talk to someone to get clean and i don’t know if ill actually follow through
or might just end it all.
my birthday is literally this saturday. But i don’t even feel like i deserve any sort of happiness since i keep lying about my recovery.
Also i haven’t eaten a meal since friday. lost 7 pounds since then. i’ve always wanted to lose weight. i just didn’t expect it to be a very dangerous way.
#need friends#trauma dump#addiction#using tumblr as my diary again#Please don’t ever start doing drugs.#it will literally ruin you and everything around you.#paranoia is my bestest friend right now#But i just want the trees to stop trying to eat me.#or the non-existent bugs crawling all over me#I wish i stayed clean.#599 days fuckin gone love myself so much.
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GUERTENA'S IMAGE!
"We could make such a pretty picture."
summary. you're the newest addition to the neighborhood and only until now, you realized there was another neighbor before you! good thing wally's there to introduce you to them, right? ( 1.2k wc / drabble / read end notes )
contents. unreality, paranoia, implied body horror, kinda dark!wally. written in 2nd pov but still gn!reader, (name) and reader are two different people here btw, not proofread. ( read at your own risk )
It's a somber afternoon, quiet and peaceful. The morning rain had stopped a few minutes ago and the refreshing smell of petrichor oozes from the sidewalks.
You're a fresh face in the neighborhood, moving in just a couple of months ago and instantly clicking with a few of the residents. And speaking of the residents, you loitered around Wally's arm room, admiring the artworks hanging from the wall as he played around with his paints behind you, engrossed with the watercolour set you gifted him.
Though, the room was as still and silent as the apple Wally's using as a reference, there's a certain comfortable feeling that lofts around and makes it fine for you to look at the paintings. As you walked around, humming a soft tune, you encounter a painting of an unfamiliar puppet smiling and posing like the Mona Lisa.
Their eyes seemed to gleam with a gentle mirth and their body language was relaxed and calm. A painting like this wouldn't have caught your attention if it wasn't leaning against the wall, nearly tucked into the corner with a black blanket covering half of it.
Out of curiosity, you turned to Wally. "Wally?"
The painter hummed in acknowledgment, never taking his eyes off the canvas. "What is it, neighbor?"
"Who's this person? Are they your friend?" You asked casually, shifting the blanket to see the covered side more clearly. At your words, the room seemed to stop moving for a while.
"Ah, yes. That's (Name). They're my friend." You jumped and turned around, immediately meeting Wally's gaze as he stood before you. Wasn't he just sitting a while ago? And just how soft is his footsteps for him to sneak up on you like that?
You nodded at his answer, somewhat satisfied. Though, you can't help but feel a sudden somber weight being casted on the room. You look at Wally's eyes and see a glint of sadness, of grief and guilt in those dark eyes of his.
During your stay in your neighborhood, you never seen Wally make such an expression. Maybe once on a rainy day like this, but this time, it enticed your curiosity.
Wally and you aren't exactly close friends, but close enough to let you into his most private room, his safe room as he liked to call it. And as much as you want to hold yourself back for his comfort, the question left your lips before you could even think about it.
"What happened to them?"
Wally stilled, taking in a breath before crouching down and removing the cover. There you can see the full beauty of the painting; the full beauty of the muse. Wally brushed and glided his thumb over the colorful canvas, feeling the gruff texture of paint sticking to cotton surface.
The two of you sat in silence, admiring the painting in Wally's hands before he finally turned to you and smiled. "I forgot to give this to them. Would you like to help me, neighbor?"
You nod slowly at first, but surely regain a bit of energy and smile back. "Of course. What kind of neighbor am I if I don't help you?" You laughed, shaking off the feeling of worry settling hard in your chest.
And so, the two of you set off outside, umbrella in hand. Though the rain was lighter than it had been when it first poured, it still drizzles ever so slightly. Neither Wally or you wanted to deliver a portrait looking like a soaking wet mess.
As you walked down the streets, you couldn't help but feel a slight dread bubbling from the pits of your stomach. You've met everyone in the neighborhood now, you even became bestest friends with some of them, but you never met this ... (Name).
Were they a recluse? Had they withdrawn too much from society that they refuse to interact with anyone anymore? You weren't sure. But whatever the reason was, you're somewhat glad that Wally was friends with them. Still, it worries you.
The two of you come closer and closer to an old house settled peacefully on a small hill. It looked smiliar to the rest of the neighborhood houses, but the colors were dull and the years had weathered the entire house down. You'd be lying if you said this place didn't give you the creeps.
Has this house always been here? You swear that you never seen this house from your first tour aorund the place. You'd chalk this up as simply not noticing it the first time, but surely this kind of thing would catch your attention instantly.
"Is this where your friend lives?" You asked Wally, turning to him as you two took shelter under the porch.
Wally nodded, humming in acknowledgement. He didn't say anything, only opening the door with a sliver key you didn't know he had. The doors open with a boring creak and when you stepped in, the floorboards groaned under your sudden weight.
The entire place has a thin blanket of dust covering it, from the furniture to the counters, and the plants looked like they haven't tasted a single drop of water in weeks.
"This place sure needs some cleaning up." You mumbled to yourself, carefully treading down the halls as Wally follow suit, holding the painting in hand.
"It really does." Wally muttered quietly.
Silence followed soon after, traversing alongside the two of you until you finally come across a door at the end of a hallway. It was painted in (color) with various little drawings at each side, almost acting like a border. But what was more interesting was the nameplate nailed on it.
"(Name)'s room..." You read aloud, whispering under your breath with furrowed brows. "Are we... Are we going inside?"
Wally hummed as if he was in deep thought before nodding. "Yep. Let's give them the painting right away."
You stepped aside, allowing Wally to open the door. A breeze wrapped your body in its embrace for a short while, slithering up your sleeves before disappearing and becoming a part of the cold. Dust particles flies around you as you force yourself to hold in a sneeze and close your eyes, feeling said particles land on some parts of your face.
You coughed, waving your hands in front of you. Wally already went inside before you, so you had no choice but to follow in his step. When you open your eyes and take in your surroundings, the first thing you notice was a large portrait of (Name) wearing a smile brighter than what you first saw in Wally's painting.
The entire room was fully furnished and clean, free of any dust and cobwebs. The bed was pristine and haven't been touched or slept in for a long time, the floors were swept and there were boxes stacked atop each other in a dark corner.
You didn't even realized it was nighttime until you saw strips of moonlight passing through the custom windows, setting the room alight in the night's cool glory. And even still, that heaviness was still uncomfortably on your chest.
"Where's... Where are they, Wally? I don't see them here." You tried to laugh, pass off your nervousness as a chuckle but it came out as strained and terrified. And you are terrified.
Wally turned his head, his expression the same as always—smiling yet wide-eyed. And inside of this eyes held nothing but an endless abyss, all of the sorrow and grief earlier had been lost and discarded like the painting that once was in his hold. He gestured towards the intricate painting, illuminated eerily by the smooth moonlight.
"What do you mean? They're right here."
That was when you realized that the portrait wasn't painted but rather had fleece and hair sewed onto the cotton canvas.
notes. omg 2 posts in a day??? shocking i know. this was actually written back in may before i completely forgot abt finishing this and since i have a few writer juice left, i decided to fix up another wally fic before disappearing from the face of tumblr again
tbh this was supposed to be an angsty fic where wally mourns the death of his friend and couldn't move on because he loves them too much to let them go buuuut i got ahead of myself 😋 so ... deal with it. this was also a bit experimental and im trying to get into more dark writing (ofc body horror, psychological horror and all that. not too far yk??) and setting a better atmosphere, so any feedback would be great!
again, requests are open and any kind of support (i.e likes, reblogs, comments) is appreciated! but also pls dont just like bcus it doesn't give my works a boost so pls reblog and/or comment as well!! it doesn't have to bs anything professional or criticism, this is tumblr!! not goodreads
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Where did the Elephant come from
Dibs on not cleaning up after it
Why is it glowing
Sitka is that you
And he’s named it
New pet?
I am going to need a bigger barn. Goliath shall be pleased to have a playmate his own size
Has anyone seen an eleph- never mind
-sees Danny’s aura- My eyes are burning
-pulls out ridiculous Elton John sunglasses- here you go
Where did you- never mind gimmie
New brother?
We are not keeping him
Not without answers
Your not helping
Um, okay, I have been tracking a zombie ghost elephant for the last few hours and followed it here
Why is it here
How should I know, maybe you should ask the guy cuddling the elephant not the guy chasing the elephant
-sign- Yo Dick, what’s with the elephant?
Sitka is my bestest friend in the whole world, she ran away from the circus just like I did
Yeah I’m gonna need more context
I’m not giving her back
Greyson I shall defend this elephant to my last breath
And how we have a problem
New Pet?
Yes, Cass
No, Cass
You did hear me say zombie ghost elephant right.
This being has a point -turns to Danny- what are Sitka’s dietary requirements now that she has changed species?
-giving up- okay what you’re going to need is a source of clean ectoplasm, not the sewer water ecto you find around here, clean pure ecto with no additives.
Sewer water?
Yeah it’s ecto in a liquid state and bubbles for no apparent reason. Stuff is nutritionally like junk food, it will do in a pinch but can cause serious issues if you eat it constantly.
What kind of issue
Anxiety, paranoia, heightened aggression, violent mood swings and temporary insanity. And that’s just it can do to the undead, it’s worse on the living and dying.
You and I are going to have a long talk about this corrupted ecto later.
-finishing writing everything down- what kind of habitat and enrichment will she require
She’s staying in my room!
How exactly do you plan on getting an elephant in the mansion?
Well it’s not impossible, I’ve seen ghost animals that can size shift before if … uh what’s her name again?
Sitka
If Sitka can shrink you could get her in the house easily
-dreamily- eternal baby elephant
Is this kid okay
No, no he is not.
Why is there an elephant on our lawn?
…
Duke
Danny
Damian
Tim
Dick
Cass
Stephanie
Bruce
Okay but... Imagine Arguing With A Ghost Elephant.
No. Really. IMAGINE IT.
Even STRONGER then in life, somehow SMARTER then in life. MORE single mindedly determined to Do The Thing(tm). Can phase through you and just IGNORE you.
Might have Ghost Powers now.
Can Fly.
Full size elephant. Nyooming along. Fuck your physics.
Asian Elephants live about 48 years. Less in Circus environments. Even if you take good care of them, it's just NOT a healthy environment for an elephant. Sitka, in all likelihood, would ALSO not have been a juvenile while Dick was a kid.
It's entirely likely Sitka died before being reunited with Their Human.
Elephants are on record as reacting to humans the same way we do Small Cute Animals. Where is Sitka's small cute child? The one who likes to sit on Sitka an sneak them treats and scratch their itchs? Where is Sitka's baby?!
Sitka is Upset(tm).
Sitka decides Fuck This Noise. No, they SHAN'T be dying. They are returning to THEIR BOY, thank you. Move. They have been patient ENOUGH. The baby gets upset without Sitka. Lonely!
This is unacceptable.
So IMAGINE. Literal Flying Green Glowing Circus Elephant in FULL Circus Regalia. Over Gotham. It's Tuesday. People would LIKE to say they are surprised but... yeah, this tracks, this might as well happen too.
Dick and Damian are VIBRATING with joy. Bruce is... Not. There is a HIGHLY VISABLE, Day Glow Green Elephant on his lawn. A DEAD one last time he checked. But that sure as SHIT, is Sitka.
Now there is an out of breathe TEENAGER... ALSO on his lawn. Also glowing. Asking about the Elephant. Is it THEIR Elephant? Are they aware the GOVERMENT wants to MURDER Dick's Elephant? The teenager spots Jason.
Oh, and ALSO HIS SON.
The government apparently wants to ALSO murder his Son. He hasn't even had coffee yet. His children are plotting gruesome death in their civies. There is STILL an elephant. Damian is now aware Supernatural Pets are an OPTION.
Fuck it. He's calling back up.
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on the road (to you)
summary: as a young adult, one of the strangest revelations is the discovery that peers of yours from past fragile college years are getting married. so imagine your shock and excitement upon receiving a wedding invitation. there are, however, two problems: (1) you are a poor early-20s recently employed adult just beginning to adjust to your 401k plan, and (2) the only available ride to the wedding comes in the form of Jeon Jungkook—friend of a friend, attendee to that aforementioned wedding, and your old college crush.
pairing: jungkook x fem!reader
genre: roadtrip au, strangers to lovers au | fluff/angst
warnings: recreational alcoholic consumption, definitely not an accurate representation of how a road trip might actually be, mentions of anxiety + insecurities, very minor book reference to: The Night Circus, equally minor movie references to: Mission Impossible and The Princess Bride because I have a problem, light makeout sessions, talks of DTR (define the relationship), some angst but this is me so there’s a happy ending.
word count: 27k
a/n: a birthday present for the one and only Jeon Jungkook, whom I love and respect so much and only wish the bestest of days for. Partly inspired by Taylor Swift’s song “invisible string” + a love letter of sorts to my own old high school crush for whom my memory of him helped build Jungkook’s character. This also turned out way longer than I ever wanted it to be lol oops!
update: i was actually able to do a writer’s audio tag on this fic!!! check it out if you want to hear about the behind the scenes process that went into writing this fic <3
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When you land a job in the months following your college graduation, you feel as if you are on top of the world. How could you not? After all, the norm that follows post-college is one of disappointment and constant hunts online to find job openings for any position that could suit your background and previous work experiences. It’s a fear that plagues lots of your friends, both those in college and out. It’s the same paranoia you had in the months leading up to graduation and the few months after graduation—in which your days were measured by the boxes you packed to move out of your tiny college apartment and into an equally tiny new apartment you currently share with an old roommate of yours, as well as the days you spent hunched over your computer and scrolling through job postings.
You had gone through more than a handful of cover letters, resume submissions, and in person interviews before finally landing the job you currently have and have been working under for a month now.
Throughout the course of the recent month, you’ve continued to secure certain moments that solidify the confidence that you’re finally becoming an adult. Sure, a barely functioning adult who mostly still uses the microwave to heat up your frozen Mac and Cheese—but an adult nonetheless. From learning how to pay your bills online, to realizing that grocery shopping was something you needed to make a conscious effort to do, along with going to and from your nine to five job with your coffee order in hand.
All of those things have helped you feel like you were, perhaps, finally getting your life together.
And then you receive the invitation in the mailbox.
It happens when you unlock your box on a bright March morning, taking out the usual round of bills and fashion magazines until your fingers lock around an envelope bigger than the normal letter size. It’s much sturdier too.
You don’t know what to think of the letter, until you bring the damn thing back into your apartment and rip the opening. The mere sight of the content inside makes you feel like the hand of life has just taken your figurine and moved you back a good twenty squares.
The post in your hand reads:
WITH GREAT JOY, IRENE AND SEOKJIN REQUEST THE HONOR OF YOUR PRESENCE FOR THEIR WEDDING CELEBRATION ON THE DAY OF MAY 25TH. COCKTAILS, DINNER, AND DANCING TO FOLLOW.
There’s a date at the bottom of the invitation. As you line the date up with your calendar, you realize that you have a week to RSVP to the event.
You toss the envelope onto the counter in the kitchen just to glare at the cardstock, maybe to convince yourself this is a dream or at least convince yourself that it’s normal for your friend from college to be getting married even when you have yet to land a successful relationship of your own.
You aren’t as close with Irene as you used to be, but the memory of your friendship is still at the forefront of your mind. The pair of you met during your final year of university, when you were assigned to work together for one of your many senior projects and immediately clicked. The months you spent in her apartment and vice versa pulling out all-nighters in desperate attempts to finish your project definitely earns you an invitation. At the very least, you are happy to see that Irene: bright and smart and funny, is getting married.
Not only that, but getting married to Seokjin. He’s a year older than you and Irene, but those two met when he was still enrolled and have been inseparable ever since. You don’t know relationships that well, but you know them enough to recognize that Seokjin and Irene were what everyone called the ‘endgame’. In truth, it was only a matter of time before you were to receive one of these from them.
But did she really have to one-up you like this? Not that it’s a competition. However, it does leave a funny feeling to see someone the same age as you display a much more put together handle on life. You groan at the thought.
“What’s got your panties in a twist?” Karly asks.
You turn to your roommate. She’s seated at the kitchen table, books out and everywhere as she looks over at you. Karly: fellow alumni, graduated from her undergrad program early to go straight into pursuing her master’s degree. She’s a busy bee. You wave the envelope. “Irene is getting married.”
Her eyes widen. “Ah shit, no way?” She takes the paper that you offer to her and looks over the invitation. “Damn, I knew it was only a matter of time before we started getting this stuff, but to actually see it happening…”
You groan. “I know right!” You take the cardstock back from your friend. “It’s only been six months since we graduated, how could she be getting married already?”
“Well, Irene did have a job lined up for her right after graduation,” Karly points out thoughtfully. She sees the look of bewilderment you give her. “What? It was on her Instagram.”
You pout. “Of course Irene would have a job lined up like that.” You run a hand through your hair. “I mean, that’s good for her. Really good, actually…”
Karly jerks her chin towards the envelope still in your hand. “So, are you planning to go?”
“I don’t know, do you have plans that day?” You wave the paper. “I’m allowed a plus one.”
Your roommate cracks a smile. “Are you asking me out? A little forward of you, we’ve been friends for so long…”
You whine, shaking the paper and little more frantically. “Karly, this is important! I don’t want to go alone, I won’t know anyone!”
She laughs. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. What was the date again?”
You provide the date to her. You approach Karly’s place at the kitchen table and watch as she opens the calendar on her laptop. Immediately, you are overwhelmed by all the deadlines she’s got under practicality every date on the screen. Yet, a “wow” is the only thing you can say at the sight.
Karly smiles, sparing you a glance over her shoulder. “One of the joys of being a grad student slash T.A. slash research assistant.” She scrolls down into May, and narrows her eyes upon May 25th. Underneath the date is an event—color coated to bright orange and typed out in all caps. CONFERENCE WITH PROFESSOR WONG. “Oh crap, I have a conference that day.”
“No…” You whine some more, trailing off as you grab Karly by the shoulders and begin shaking. “Karly! You’ve left me out for the bears! What am I supposed to do?”
Karly laughs as she lets herself be manhandled in this way. “I don’t know! Go and deepen your social life or something.”
You stop shaking her and glare instead. “Is that a joke?”
“What do you expect me to say?” She retorts, appalled by your answer. “Then don’t go.”
You whine again. “But this is Irene, and I’ll feel bad for not going and congratulating her!”
“Then go!”
“But I don’t have a plus one!”
Karly places her hands at her temples. “Oh my god, this is like the circle of stupidity with you. Then find a plus one! Or just don’t go!” She whirls around to face you. “I will help you find a dress if you decide to go. I will also sit with you on the couch and eat popcorn with you if you decide not to go.”
You continue to pout, knowing that you deserve that gentle attempt at a lecture but still not liking the reason why you needed such a talking to.
“Fine,” You eventually decide to say, sliding into the seat next to Karly and leaning forward to plant your entire upper body on the table.
Karly laughs at your defeated posture. “Well, you have the rest of the week to make your decision.”
She has a point. That doesn’t mean you have to like it.
.
For the rest of the week the decision of whether or not you should attend the wedding becomes a weight in your mind. You spend the next few days pondering it, thinking over the pros and the cons.
As overdramatic as it is, you think about it during work, when you’re partaking in your home workout routines, and even when you’re about to fall asleep. You do want to go, you really do. It’ll be the first time you attend a wedding that didn’t involve a relative, which feels like a big deal in your adult agenda mindset. And Irene is someone you wouldn’t mind spending an evening with to catch up.
However, you wouldn’t get to spend the evening with Irene—after all, a wedding implies that she would likely be mingling with all of her guests and you would just be another attendee forced to find other means of entertainment. That’s where the plus one comes in handy. Except you don’t have a plus one. A slight problem.
You sigh. Work is a little slow today, as you are also experiencing the afternoon slump in which your mind drifts away more often than usual. You find yourself with a small laundry list of tasks (such as emailing companies, working on drafts for releases, and trying to set up different appointments) but without the motivation to do those things right away. Because of that, your afternoon slump takes the form of opening airline services to find information and prices about flying to Irene’s wedding. It’s in her hometown, about a five hour flight time from here to there.
You click on the various boxes that require information, finally allowing a search. As the search goes through, your eyes take in all the prices—both the amount to get there and to get back—and your lips part slightly at the totaling numbers.
“Five hundred dollars?” You mutter to yourself. You’re not sure how this would work with budgeting, but you’re still trying to figure out how to balance the cost of AC, the internet, and how to eat appropriate meals at least once a day. You don’t have five hundred dollars to spend on an airplane ticket. A slightly bigger problem.
You sigh again, resting your elbow on the desk and your chin in the palm as your eyes continue to scroll through the website.
Behind you, fingers curl around the top of your cubicle. There is a silence between the two of you: him, merely observing, and you, completely oblivious, until he clears his throat.
You jump, having not expected to be interrupted like this. A squeak leaves the back of your throat as you whirl around to see who is visiting you. “Jimin!” You exclaim, taking in the boy now perched along the wall of your cubicle. This is before you narrow your eyes. “Asshole, you scared me!”
If you just started working here and learned that you’d be cursing out Park Jimin for startling you, that past version of yourself might have turned red, shocked, and nervous at the thought. A month ago, Jimin was that coworker—as friendly as friendly people come by. With his pretty eyes, perfectly soft pink lips, and freshly dyed brown hair, you had been immediately taken by his charm and helpful nature.
Then the month went by, and you realized there were no romantic intentions on either end. Jimin then became your first friend in your new job. Albeit, he’s a nosy friend who enjoys asking questions and dragging you out to nearby bars and coming over occasionally with take-out, but a friend nonetheless.
“Sorry!” Jimin says back, then he glares at you. “What are you doing over here anyways?”
You shake your head. “What do you mean?”
“What do you mean what do I mean? You’ve been sighing all afternoon.” Jimin pulls out a slip of paper from behind his back. “Fifty times in the last hour, I swear to god.”
You straighten out of your seat to get a better look at the paper, unamused to find fifty tally marks across the surface. “You’re lying, there’s no way that I sighed fifty times in an hour.”
“Of course you wouldn’t know, you’re the one doing all the sighing!” Jimin retorts, lowering his hand with the paper. “Is something up with you? Did something happen?” His eyes flicker to the monitor screen behind you and he frowns. “What the fuck? Are you moving away already?”
You blink. “What?”
He jerks his chin towards the computer. “You’re looking at flight prices.”
“Huh?” You turn around, having completely forgotten about your previous predicament in light of discovering that Jimin counts your sighs. “Oh! No…”
Jimin raises an eyebrow. “No, you’re not looking at flight prices?”
You slide back into your chair, a silent invitation for Jimin to step further into your cubicle. You sigh again, and he holds the paper back up. Taking a pencil out of his pocket, he makes another mark. You look over at him upon hearing the pencil scratch and scowl. “Give me that!” You grab the paper from his hand. “I’m dealing with a crisis right now, don’t count my sighs!”
“Alright! Alright!” Jimin slides behind you and leans forward to get a better look at your computer screen. “So where are you moving to this time?”
You press your lips together. “I’m not moving away. A friend of mine from college is getting married. I’m just trying to see how expensive it would be to fly over there.”
He whistles at the five hundred dollar price in your cart. “That’s pretty expensive.”
“I know!” You groan, throwing yourself further back into your chair. “I wouldn’t mind going, but I don’t have a plus one. And as you can see, flying there would be a challenge on my wallet.”
Jimin hums at that. “Well, regarding your plus one problem, I wouldn’t mind going with you.”
You turn to look at him. “Really? You’d go across the country and endure an entire evening with your coworker and her old college classmates?”
He shrugs. “If you’re desperate, I’ll keep my offer around.” He actually pouts this time. “Are you implying that you see me more as a coworker than a friend? After all the times we’ve hung out outside of work!”
Your eyes widen slightly, having not thought of that. “No, no, Jimin, I mean—yes, I do see you as a friend now but we met as coworkers so I just think of you as a coworker first—!” You’re rambling.
Jimin interrupts by patting your shoulder, the corner of his lips quirked up into a smile. “I’m just messing with you.”
You shake your head again. “Asshole,” You grumble, returning your attention back to your computer.
Jimin is still mid-laughter behind you. “Anyways, yeah, like I said. If you’re desperate to go, I wouldn’t mind going with you. But deciding how to get there is a different question entirely.”
You turn to glare at your friend for a moment. “I’ll let you know.”
He nods, before his lips part and he’s snapping his fingers. “Oh yeah! I wanted to ask you something.”
He backs up, allowing you enough space to turn around fully and face him. “Okay, what’s up?”
Jimin grins, lifting his leg up to nudge your chair slightly. “I’m going out tonight—you should come with.”
You don’t even give this a second thought. Your lips turn into a downwards curl as you shake your head. “Nope.”
Jimin looks appalled. “Why not? Didn’t you have fun the last time we went out?”
“If ‘fun’ to you is trying to drag your drunk ass home and staying the night to make sure you wouldn’t choke on your vomit…” You grumble, trying not to shudder at the memory. It has only been a few days since that ‘fun’ time.
“I told you that sometimes I overestimate my abilities, and I already apologized for that,” Jimin points out, although he does have the decency to look guilty for that mess. He perks up again. “But this’ll be different, I promise. I’m meeting up with some friends and we’re just gonna catch up. It’s at one of the quieter bars uptown: no loud DJ, no bright lights, no bottomless rum and coke. Promise. It’ll just be a lot of socializing.” He watches you hesitantly. Socializing has never been your strong suit. “And finger food.”
The mention of food does make you look up towards him—your first sign of interest towards something. However, another thought weighs you down. “Are you sure you even want me to go?” You ask after a moment. “I mean, this is a catch up with friends. Wouldn’t I be intruding?”
“Not at all!” Jimin brushes off, waving away your concern with his hand. “I told you, it’s a socializing thing. Besides, my friends are always bringing someone along. They were asking me when I’d have a friend tag along, so I thought you’d be a good selection.” He notices you still frowning. “C’mon! It’ll be fun. When I’m not vomiting over your shoes, I’m good company. And I promise I won’t be vomiting this time.”
You stare at Jimin for a moment longer, contemplating his words. This is very true. Jimin is an ideal friend to have during social gatherings—he’s good at keeping a conversation going so you don’t have to shoulder the weight alone, he’s good at reading when you’re in a good mood and when you’re ready to go home, and he’s excellent at keeping unwanted attention away. You know this. Jimin knows that you know this.
It takes one curl of your lips for Jimin to grin, knowing that he has convinced you. “Okay!” He says, finalizing the decision without having to hear the actual answer from you. He pats your knee. “We’ll take the subway after work, it’s just a few stops down.”
If your mind conjures up any second thoughts, Jimin leaves before you are able to express them.
.
True to Jimin’s word, the pair of you step into a subway heading westbound as soon as you’re finished with work. It’s much later in the day now, the afternoon sun has changed into a night sky with a chill spring breeze to match. The carts are filled with the evening crowd of adults, all done with another day of work and finding enjoyment for the rest of today by returning home or seeing friends. It’s a rarity that you would fall under that latter category, but the thought makes you excited nonetheless.
“Alright, so you wanna tell me a little bit about these friends that I’m seeing tonight?” You ask, gripping the handlebar above you but leaning towards Jimin so he can hear what you’re saying over the noise of the subway speeding down the tracks.
Jimin grins. “They’re just some friends I grew up with. We like to get together once a month to catch up and hang out, since everyone is so busy with their own lives.”
You smile back. “That’s actually really sweet of you guys, to plan hangouts once a month.”
He lightly flicks your forehead. “Hey, are you saying I’m normally not very sweet?”
“Well, not right now!” You protest, hand over your forehead. “That hurt.”
“You’re being a baby!” Jimin retorts back.
The pair of you continue to bicker like this until your stop is announced over the intercom. Jimin halts the further insults being thrown at each other as he gestures towards the approaching station, as seen through the window of the subway.
“This is our stop,” Jimin says to you, allowing you to step out onto the platform first. He joins behind you right after, leading the way as the subway’s three chimes signal the closing of the doors. There’s a breeze that follows, running through your hair and clothes as the subway zooms away to its next stop. The station itself is crowded, filled with groups of friends and individuals carrying on with the rest of their evening, overall looking so lively and you can feel yourself feeding off their energy.
With a gesture pointing up the stairs that’ll take the pair of you to ground level, Jimin leads the way. You make your way through people, following Jimin’s guide until you’re both exiting the station and entering the world of your new stop. It’s another area of the city you work in, so the change in scenery isn’t too dramatic—but it’s a place more catered towards restaurants, shopping areas, and hang-out sections. The bright neon signs protrude out from the building, flashing the various products or services the specific building offered: from manicure care to corner ramen shops.
“C’mon, let’s hurry!” Jimin calls back to you, picking his pace up slightly. He’s not running, but his long legs make it harder for you to keep up. “Everyone is already there.”
The pair of you continue to pace down the sidewalk, past the crowds of people waiting to eat, people lingering outside of clothing stores. Finally, Jimin slows down near a restaurant. He looks over his shoulder to make sure you’re still behind him, before entering the establishment. He mentions something about knowing where their seats are, before continuing deeper into the restaurant.
As you look around, the place does look like a restaurant slash bar—not as crazy as some of the bars Jimin takes you with the intention of actually getting drunk, but there’s still a bar here and there’s still alcohol being shared heavily. It’s the same demographic of early 20s, young adults with friends, but there are actual tables and chairs and booths set up like a restaurant. So you suppose Jimin hadn’t been lying to you about this.
“There they are!” Jimin says to you, as you look up and follow Jimin’s finger to the table in the far corner that is completely filled with the exception of two seats. You vaguely make out the back of some heads, most belonging to boys, before your eyes land on one of the boys facing you and Jimin. He’s sitting at the far end of the table, currently laughing brightly at something one of the boys at the table has said. For all intents and purposes, the boy is cute. Extremely cute. When he laughs, his eyes and nose crinkle and his lips spread into a wild smile—and brings out the dimple on his cheek. He looks like the embodiment of all your ideal types mashed into a singular being.
All of those things. Yet, that is not the reason why you are staring. None of those things come close to why you stop dead in your tracks, why your heart drops in your chest, why your eyes widen. Even with the shitty lighting in this restaurant, you are one hundred percent positive. “Jimin!” You manage to choke out, having enough well power to grab onto his hand seconds before he is able to make himself and yourself known to his friends.
He whirls around, wide-eyed and curious and worried. “What? Is everything okay?”
You shake your head. The room feels too small. “I think there’s something I should tell you—!”
“Hey, is that Jimin? Jimin!” Your voice is very easily drowned out by the sound of another, much louder voice that seems to boom through the restaurant.
Jimin turns back around in time to face one of the boys from the table who has gotten out of his seat. You are able to see him from over Jimin’s shoulder—a tall boy with messy unkempt hair and a boxy smile. Jimin greets him with a “Taehyung!” before the boys embrace. “Taehyungie,” Jimin continues afterwards, turning around so both are able to face you. “This is Y/N, she’s a coworker of mine.”
Taehyung grins, a friendly gesture that makes you relax. But only slightly. “Y/N! It’s nice to meet you, I’ve heard a bit about you from Jimin. All good things, I promise.”
“W-Well, that’s good to hear,” You manage shakily, eyes nervously darting to the boy at the end of the table, who has stopped his conversation and is now looking at you and Jimin.
“Let me introduce you,” Jimin says, breaking your concentration as he rests a hand on your shoulder. He points right at the boy at the end of the table, who is still staring at you. His eyebrows are furrowed together. You want to bury yourself alive. “That one over there is—!”
A lightbulb seems to go off in the boy’s head. His face breaks out into a smile as he points at you. “Hey, Y/N!”
Jimin looks taken aback at the fact you are being recognized by someone at the table. His hand lowers as he looks over at you.
You, however, cannot focus on Jimin. You can only focus on the boy at the end of the table, the boy currently smiling over at you with all the light in his eyes, the boy who makes the memories flash through your mind. From that, the best you can manage is a tiny smile. “Jungkook!”
Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook. Where do you even begin with him?
You met Jungkook during your second year of university. He had been an arts major (you were not) and yet, your paths crossed multiple times throughout the quarter as a result of sharing many general education classes together. You even were forced to pair up on a project for one of those aforementioned G.E. classes. Neither of you ran in the same social circle, but that didn’t change how sweet, funny, charming, endearing, easy-going, friendly, smart, and nice Jungkook was. It was very easy for him to make friends, very easy for him to go out of his way to say hi to you in the library or in class or in the cafeteria, and very easy for him to strike up a basic conversation with you.
Because of that, it was very easy for you to fall for him—to develop a deep-rooted crush that went on for the rest of your university experience. You would use the term ‘friends’ very loosely when describing what your relationship with Jungkook had been. You had never hung out with him outside the context of school, never went out to eat with him, and never saw him again after graduation. Until now.
Actually, ‘acquaintances’ would probably be a much more fitting term.
“Hey, I haven’t seen you since graduation!” Jungkook is saying as he stands up from his chair and approaches you. As if on autopilot, you return the one armed hug he gives you. His smile, while still pleasant, holds a surprising tinge of shyness to it.
“Woah, hold on a second,” Jimin interrupts, immediately pointing between Jungkook and you. “You guys know each other?”
“Y/N and I went to university together!” Jungkook provides.
Jimin looks like his eyes are about to fall out of his sockets.
“We’ve known each other since second year,” Jungkook continues. He looks over at you. “I didn’t know you know Jimin.”
“Uh…” You forget how to speak. You’re too busy looking at Jungkook as if you haven’t seen him for years. In a way, it feels like that. Seeing people from college outside of college after a graduation ceremony is like meeting them again for the first time—most of them develop a more independent look. Some look like their life is seconds from falling apart. Some look much happier without the institutional pressure to secure classes and grades and internships. Sadly for you, Jungkook falls under the latter category. Did he always have that twinkle of starlight in his eyes?
“Y/N and I work together,” Jimin provides, seeming to realize that you weren’t going to answer Jungkook’s question. “She started working about a month ago.”
“Oh, that’s cool,” Jungkook replies, still looking at you. It is then he seems to notice that the three of you are standing in the middle of the restaurant. Although you are not distracting any patrons, the workers probably don’t appreciate it. “How about we sit down? We’ll be able to catch up more!”
Jimin seems to regain control of the situation quicker than you do, because he nods at Jungkook. “Let me introduce her to everyone, then we’ll join you.” You look over to where Jungkook had been sitting and immediately notice the previously empty two chairs right across from him—like fate, or something terrible like that.
So you watch as Jungkook makes his way back to his seat, and Jimin starts to guide you around the table. He only drops a name. Surprisingly, he doesn’t linger, he merely takes you to the next person. It only takes you a second to figure out why.
“You didn’t tell me you know Jungkook,” Jimin hisses in between the time it takes to travel in between people.
“I didn’t know you knew Jungkook!” You hiss back. You smile and nod politely at the person Jimin introduces as Yoongi. “Seriously, you never mentioned him once!”
Jimin only keeps his frustration for a moment before he’s introducing you to someone named Hoseok, a boy with a bright smile, the one who was making Jungkook laugh earlier. “Okay, fine,” He relents, the pair of you finally move to take your seats. “But what was that earlier?”
“What was what?”
“You were just staring at him! What, did you have a huge crush on him or something—?” Jimin accuses, but he stops. Just as the pair of you are about to sit down, Jimin parts his lips in realization. “Oh.” Then, he sends you an absolutely wicked grin. “Oh, okay.”
Your eyes widen at him, murder in your eyes. “Jimin!”
“So, Y/N,” Jungkook’s voice cuts through your little biting banter with Jimin.
You whirl around to face Jungkook, eyes completely devoid of murder and voice several pitches higher. “Hi, Jungkook!”
He smiles, such a wonderful little thing that makes your heart flutter in your chest. “Hi.”
Jimin ducks his head to hide the fact that he wants nothing more than to burst into fits of laughter.
“So how have you been?” Jungkook starts up. “I haven’t seen you since graduation. Since you landed a job, you seem to be doing well.”
“I am!” You manage, only continuing to try and keep a handle on your heart and managing well enough this time. “There were a few months of just scrolling through job postings and writing cover letter after cover letter though.”
Jungkook laughs, another beautiful gesture that makes you mirror his smile. “I definitely feel that.”
“Well, what about you? What have you been up to?” You ask. “I think I saw on your Instagram and you were traveling around for a little?”
His eyes light up at that. “Oh yeah! I don’t know if you remember Kim Mingyu from school?” You do. “Well, he and a friend of his got into some freelancing and had to do some traveling around to work on some filming. He asked me to come along because I actually have some photography experience. So that was a thing I did for a few months.”
You nod, smiling. “No way! That’s so cool.”
You do relax after a few conversational exchanges with Jungkook. He’s just as relaxed and mellow, yet friendly and polite as ever, and it’s easy to make conversation with him as it always has been. Eventually, you join in on the larger conversations with the whole table—touching on topics from your university experiences to tales from your new job. A lot of your role, however, falls to listening. Jimin’s friends are rowdy, funny, and out-going. They invite you in like you have been in this group for years—and are able to provide context on older memories they are revisiting.
Most of your evening, however, is engaging in conversation with Jungkook. Occasionally, Jimin will join in, but he does spend most of his time laughing along to something his other friends are saying. Since you and Jungkook have always been friendly with each other, long conversations aren’t out of the ordinary. You just never considered how well you and Jungkook got along, how easy it would be to transition from topic to topic.
“I am really glad that Jimin invited you along,” Jungkook explains brightly after the pair of you are done laughing following Jungkook’s tale of another fuck-ups with Kim Mingyu. “Makes you realize how small the world is.”
“Oh, you should have seen her moping around earlier today,” Jimin interjects, choosing now of all times to insert himself back into your conversation with Jungkook. “She was sighing all afternoon—so maybe we should thank her misery that I decided to invite her along tonight.”
Jungkook turns to you, a sympathetic look across his face. “Did you have a bad day today?”
You try for a laugh, waving away Jimin’s words. “Jimin’s just overreacting. Actually, I found out a friend of mine from college is getting married, so I was trying to figure out my plan…” You start, trailing off as you look at Jungkook. “Wait, you didn’t know Irene, did you?”
“I did.” His eyes widen as his lips part in realization. “Oh my god, you were invited to Irene’s wedding too?”
“I was!” You exclaim, unsure whether you should be excited or even more nervous at the prospect of potentially seeing Jungkook at the wedding event. “Holy shit, this makes it an even smaller world. How did you know Irene?”
Jungkook is still mid-giggle at the pure coincidence of everything. “We both knew Mingyu! This is so crazy. Are you planning to go?”
You shrug. Jimin chooses to interject once more. “That’s what Y/N over here was sighing all afternoon over.”
You whine as you look at Jimin. “No need to sell me out! Listen, Jungkook.” You turn back to the boy opposite of you, who is still gazing at you. “I’m sure you understand my current predicament.”
“Sure.”
“You know how expensive flights can be.”
“Of course.”
You fold your arms over each other and rest them on the table. “So, are you planning to go to the wedding?”
He nods. “Most likely, yeah. I actually knew that the wedding was going to be happening soon, since Mingyu told me about it as soon as Irene got the ring. I ran into the flight problem pretty quickly too, so I decided to just drive to the event.”
Jimin whistles. “Drive across the country, huh, JK? That must be a four day trip, or something.”
“It was coming out to be,” Jungkook acknowledges with a nod. “But it’s okay.” He’s grinning, looking excited at the prospect. “I’ve never done a cross country drive before, so it was actually kind of exciting to plan the route. There are a few places I want to stop by and visit. I’m sure it’ll be fun.” Then, Jungkook turns back to you. “If you decide that flying would be too expensive, then you’re more than welcome to come along. It’ll be nice to have some company and not spend four days by myself.”
Entirely on instinct, you start to laugh. You think he’s joking—how could you not? This is probably one of the longest conversations you’ve ever had with Jungkook. Like you’ve mentioned before, you wouldn’t consider him a friend. Why would he seriously try to invite you on a road trip? “Yeah, I’m not too sure—I’ve never done a cross country trip before…”
The conversation shifts pretty quickly as soon as you reply back to Jungkook. Hoseok asks you a question that drags your attention away, simultaneously allowing you to forget about Jungkook’s request.
The end of the dinner happens soon after, when the bill has been paid and you suspect the long line of people outside waiting for a table are waiting for your party to be done. So venmo exchanges and money debts go around until each member of the table starts standing up one by one to make their move to exit the restaurant.
You and Jimin are one of the first to leave. Goodbyes are exchanged along with the polite ‘it was nice to meet you’ phrase thrown around. Jungkook is mid-conversation with Yoongi, but he still gives you a quick hug of parting before you and Jimin exit the restaurant.
The pair of you only make it out a few steps before there is a familiar voice calling your name. “Hey, Y/N! Y/N, wait up!” You stop and turn around, surprised to see Jungkook dashing out of the restaurant. He rests himself for a moment before he’s straightening back up to look at you.
You try for a smile. “Hey Jungkook, what’s up?”
He takes in a few more deep breaths to calm himself—either from the dashing he just did or to steel himself for the next question, you don’t know. “It’s about me inviting you to drive up to Irene’s wedding—I just thought I’d let you know it was a serious invitation. Having the company would be nice, and you wouldn’t be a burden to me, seriously. Besides, it’ll be fun to spend some time together.”
“O-Oh,” You stammer, wringing your hands together. “I’m not too sure… I still have to think about it.”
“Of course, of course,” Jungkook dismisses good naturedly. “Just thought I’d let you know, so you know that you do have options.”
Although the offer makes you nervous, you cannot dismiss Jungkook’s thoughtfulness. You give him a more relaxed smile. “I really appreciate that Jungkook, thank you.”
He smiles at your smile. “No problem! Actually…” He digs around for the wallet in his pocket and produces a little card. “Here’s my business card—my cell phone number is on here so just text or call if you decide to join me. Or,” He presses his lips into a more bashful smile. “You can just text me whenever for whatever reason. I just thought I’d let you know that it was good to see you again.”
You take the card slowly, unable to look away from Jungkook’s face. He looks so genuine and shy that it doesn’t help your own racing heart. “It was good to see you too, Jungkook…” You return, albeit a little breathlessly.
He smiles again, dimples pressing in his cheek (and your heart). He turns to Jimin “Oh yeah, nice seeing you too Park.”
“Hey.” Jimin hits him on the shoulder. “I’m your hyung, you should show me more respect!”
“My bad, my bad.” Jungkook doesn’t apologize though. His gaze flickers to yours one more time, gaze looking strangely hopeful. “I’ll see you guys around.” He walks backwards a few paces before turning around and returning to the restaurant. Maybe to see his other friends.
Either way, it doesn’t matter. You are still screaming internally regardless—as shown through your red cheeks, widened eyes, and singing heart. Jimin will certainly never let you live this moment down.
.
Now, you are screaming externally. You don’t even give a thought or an explanation. You simply walk into your apartment, nosedive for the couch, and start yelling into one of the throw pillows.
There’s a rapid movement of footsteps coming from down the hallway almost immediately, one that grows gradually louder until the owner of the steps starts speaking. “Who the fuck is out there? I’ve played softball my entire life and therefore will not hesitate to drive this bat so far up your ass—oh, Y/N.” The voice lowers significantly, as does the threat level it emits into the air. “It’s just you.”
You lift your face from the throw pillow, and immediately brush away at the hair that falls in your face. “What the fuck!” You croak, pushing yourself into a sitting position and pointing at the bat in Karly’s hands. “What are you doing threatening me with a bat? You’ve never played a game of softball in your life!”
“Oh, this isn’t mine. It’s Soonyoung’s.” Soonyoung is Karly’s boyfriend from high school, who used to play baseball on the high school team. How Karly has her boyfriend’s baseball bat is a mystery, but it’s something you think you are better off not asking about. She places the bat down on the carpet next to the coffee table. “But I should be asking you the questions, you bitch! You scared the shit out of me!”
You sigh, throwing your head to rest on the back of the couch. “Sorry, sorry. Had a crazy day.”
Karly ponders this as she moves to take a seat next to you. “You seemed fine when you texted me about you getting drinks with Jimin. Did something happen during the dinner?”
You straighten up again and grip Karly by the arm. “Okay, don’t scream.”
“You mean like you did?” Karly retorts dryly.
You shake her. “I’m serious!” When Karly doesn’t say anything, you take it as a sign to continue with your story. “I saw Jungkook.”
Karly blinks, then grabs your arm right back. “Wait, Jeon Jungkook, as in the guy you’ve been crushing on since second year?”
“Yes!” You whine, throwing yourself onto the couch all over again.
“The one you had to work together on a project with and nearly cried even though you guys just had to submit a paper?”
“Yes!”
“The one who said hi to you in the library that one time and you tried to put your elbow on the table afterwards but you missed and hit your head instead?”
You pause, scowling. “Okay, now you’re just being mean. Are you done?”
Karly is laughing. “Oh my god. What are the chances of you seeing him now?”
“There’s more,” You groan out.
“Really? Honestly that yell could have been just for seeing him again and that would have made sense—!”
You ignore her. “He’s friends with Jimin. He’s friends with Irene, too. He was invited to her wedding.”
“Wait, Jimin is friends with Irene or Jungkook is friends with Irene—?”
“He won’t pay for the flight though. It’s too expensive. I can attest to that.”
Karly holds a finger up, trying to connect the dots. “When did you look up flight prices—?”
“So he invited me on a cross country road trip to Irene’s wedding.”
Karly frowns.
You sigh. “Jungkook invited me on a cross country road trip to Irene’s wedding.”
“Oh! Oh!” Karly’s eyes widen. “Oh my god, that’s huge. Are you gonna go?”
“I don’t know!” You whine. “Jungkook mentioned it would be a four day drive to get there. I don’t know if I can survive four days in a car with him! We’ve never been that close, what if it gets awkward?”
Karly ponders this. “I really don’t think it’s in Jungkook’s nature to be awkward with someone—especially someone he’s had a history with.” She sees the look of disbelief you give her. “Well, even if that history was really limited. What makes you think it’ll be awkward? Was it awful seeing him tonight?”
“No!” You cry, straightening into a sitting position so your legs drape over the side of the couch. You force yourself to calm down. “It… it was pretty good actually.”
Karly raises an eyebrow, amusement dancing in her eyes. “Really now.”
“Yeah…” You reply, trailing off. “We sat across from each other during the dinner and we talked most of the night, surprisingly. I guess because we were sort of acquaintances we’ve always known about each other, so it wasn’t like we didn’t know how to ask questions to each other. And Jungkook… he’s easy to talk to as he’s always been and he’s so nice and positive and he has a dimple on his cheek when he smiles…” You finish slowly, noticing your racing heart that has come up as a result of this conversation and of your memory. You realize the predicament you’re in, further emphasized by Karly’s growing grin. You groan. “Shut up.”
Karly looks like a Cheshire cat. “I didn’t say anything.”
You grab onto one of the throw pillows and properly hit her in the face. “You’re saying many things right now, you bitch!”
Karly takes the pillow from you and proceeds to whack you in the shoulder. “Not outloud!”
“So you admit it!” You accuse, pointing at her.
Karly yells. “Just admit you still have a crush on him!”
Your groan turns into a cry. “Don’t say it outloud! Now I have to deal with it!”
Your roommate sighs. “Bitch, I can tell you exactly how to deal with this. You’re gonna go on this road trip with Jungkook and see if you guys vibe—you honestly will not find a better way to discover your compatibility with him. If it works out, then you get more than a plus one to the wedding. If it doesn’t work out, just skip the wedding and take the first flight back home. Cut off your friendship with Jimin while you’re at it—it’s the only way to ensure you’ll never have to run into Jungkook again.”
You pout. “That seems a little dramatic.”
Karly thinks for a second, then she nudges you. “Remind me again about that quote your high school English teacher used to always parade around.”
You stare at her for a moment, because you know exactly what point she’s trying to make. Still, you decide to humor her. And yourself. “‘You’ll never know if you’ll sink, swim, or float, until you’re willing to take the plunge’.” You level Karly with another gaze. Your friend has a point. You missed any chance to hang out with Jungkook during your college years—partly because your friend groups never intersected, but mostly because of your internalized fear of fucking up. But now that you are just a little older and just a little more versed in the art of conversing and befriending—maybe Karly is right. Maybe this is your chance to see if a different set of timing could make a difference.
So you sigh.
“I guess I should text Jungkook, huh.”
Karly pats you on the shoulder. “Take the plunge, my dude.”
.
You do take the plunge. You take Jungkook’s business card out from the pocket of your dress and dial the number. He expresses excitement—and also relief.
These things lead up to the current moment. Eight o’clock in the morning: you lingering in the kitchen with a cup of coffee, your suitcase by the door, and a roommate keeping you company.
You don’t realize how nervous you are until you get a text from Jungkook.
Jungkook (8:03am): i’m here! u can buzz me up so i can help u with your stuff :)
You (8:03am): it’s ok jungkook it’s just a suitcase. i’ll be down in a second!
You pocket your phone, and Karly can read the expression across your face before you realize what is going on. She straightens up. “He’s here?”
“Yeah.” You rinse your coffee cup and make your way towards the door. “Did you want to come down with me?”
Karly stops and gives you a look. “I thought that was already implied.”
“Well, thanks, that’s really nice—!”
“Someone has to give you an embarrassing goodbye.”
“There it is.” You sigh. You don’t say anything as you and Karly exit the apartment and make your way down the hall into the elevator. It only takes a few seconds for the elevator to lower down to the ground floor, where you and Karly exit and make your way to the front of the apartment complex.
You swear your heart beats just a little faster as soon as you see Jungkook near the front entrance of the building. He’s wearing a pair of black jackets with an oversized denim jacket and currently looking down at his phone—overall appearing so tall and pretty and otherworldly. For a brief second, you are taken by the fact that for the next four days, he’ll be yours.
Jungkook looks up as soon as he hears the door opening and he smiles. “Hey you.”
You smile, albeit a little lopsided and dreamy. “Hi.”
Jungkook walks towards you immediately. “Here, let me help you with that.” He reaches a hand out and gently takes the handle of your suitcase before you can say anything. Just as he’s taking the suitcase from you, Karly emerges from the building. “Oh, sorry about that.”
Karly waves him off. “Don’t be. I’m Y/N’s roommate—I’m just here to see her off.”
Jungkook stares at her for a moment, then he snaps his fingers. “Wait, I remember you. You went to college with us too.” He jerks his chin towards you. “You hung out with Y/N a lot, right?”
“Yeah, I’m Karly.” She holds out her hand for Jungkook to shake. “And you’re right, she and I hung out a lot. We were roommates back then too.”
Jungkook nods in understanding, before shoving his hand into his pocket. His other hand is still holding onto your suitcase. “Well, I promise to take good care of Y/N.”
Karly smacks her teeth against the side of her mouth as she points at him. “You’re a good man, Jungkook.” She pauses for a moment, seeming to contemplate a new thought. You recognize the look immediately, and your fingers twitch as if you want to strangle her. Or at least let her know you’re throwing her a look of murderous intent. But of course, Karly doesn’t see it. And even if she had, you doubt she’d care. “But no funny business, alright.”
You gape at her. “Karly!”
Jungkook coughs at that. “I-It’s just a drive—y-you don’t need to worry about that.” He does, however, turn away to hide the red that dusts his cheeks.
As soon as Jungkook’s back is facing you, you whirl around to shoot Karly with a glare. “Karly, you’re lucky I’m leaving for the next four days or I would not hesitate to figure out how to make stuffocation look like an accident!” You hiss out between teeth without taking a breath.
Karly glares right back. “You’re really dumb, aren’t you? The fact that he recognizes me because he saw you hanging out with me on campus doesn’t strike any chords? Even though, like you said, you guys weren’t really friends?”
You blink. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
Karly widens her eyes. “What the fuck do you mean? Are you dumb with all the boys or just Jungkook?”
“What do you mean!” You snap back.
“So, Y/N, ready to go?”
You whirl back around to find Jungkook now standing in front of you and Karly. He must have finished packing your suitcase in the trunk of his car and is now looking over at you with a tilt in his head.
So you force a smile. “Of course,” You say, turning to Karly. “I was just saying bye to my roommate.”
He nods in understanding, sparing one more glance at Karly before seeming to decide against it because he looks away. He’s still a little red at Karly’s previous comment. “We should get going then.”
“Sure.” You look over at your roommate. “See you, bitch.”
Karly waves back, grinning wildly. You just know she has several other thoughts she’d like to share with you, but has probably deemed you embarrassed enough. Lucky for you, she keeps her mouth shut.
Unlucky for you, without Karly to be a barrier of distraction, this leaves you alone with Jungkook. You slide into the passenger seat of his car, still not yet processing the weight of what you’ve just agreed to. You fiddle alone for a second before Jungkook is opening the driver’s side and shifting into his seat.
There is a silence as Jungkook is starting the car, and a part of you wants to die. Or at least have the ground swallow you whole. Holy fuck, what did you just sign up for?
Your mind somehow takes five seconds to turn into complete shambles that you almost miss Jungkook’s question.
“Here, I’m giving you an important mission,” Jungkook says, rummaging through the various chords that lay over the center console before producing an aux cord. “Should you choose to accept.”
He’s got on such a serious expression you momentarily forget about your anxiety. His usage of the iconic line from Mission Impossible makes you laugh—a breathy sort of noise that escapes when your mind is too full. You still take the aux cord. “Oh my god—ever heard of bluetooth?”
He pouts. “It hasn’t even been five minutes and you’re already insulting my beautiful Celia!”
You raise both your eyebrows. “Celia?”
“Yeah, that’s the name of my car.” He catches the bewildered look you give him before angling himself back to face the steering wheel, where he shifts his console into drive and makes a turn onto the main street. “If you’re already weirded out by the fact I have a name for my baby, then you’re in for a very long four days, Miss. Y/N.”
You giggle, feeling that distraction of nerves start to come off your shoulders. “Not weird at all.” You pause. “Ryan is the name of my car.”
“Ah!” He holds one arm out in a grand gesture. “You see, not so strange after all.” He steals a glance at you, watching as you’re about to connect your phone to the aux cord. “Wait!” He says, pointing a finger at you.
You look up at him, wide eyes.
He’s still holding an arm up. “How’s your music taste?”
You’re still giving him your surprised expression. “You scared me!”
He laughs, returning his hand back to the steering wheel. “Sorry, sorry. I have to ask though—I’d rather know now than later, so I can kick you out and not feel as bad about it.”
Your laughter seems to melt away the last of your nervous energy. “Nice to know you’re putting all your cards out now.” You look down at your phone. “Regarding my music taste… it’s whatever you want dude! I have some lo-fi on here, some pop, alternative, Broadway, anime openings… an ‘everything’ playlist. Honestly, the world is your oyster.”
“How about we start with your ‘everything’ playlist,” Jungkook suggests. “That way I can judge you immediately.”
“Were you always this charming, Jeon Jungkook?” You retort. “Or has graduation changed you?”
“Oh, I’ve always been this charming—you just never noticed.”
That comment, however, goes over your head as you focus down on your playlist. You look over, selecting the shuffle option as Taylor Swift’s soft music from her newest album fills the air. Another silence fills the car, but it’s much more peaceful and comfortable. You allow yourself to settle further into the passenger seat of Jungkook’s car.
“So,” You start after a moment. Jungkook hums to let you know he’s paying attention. “What inspired the name Celia?”
Jungkook brightens at the question. “She was this character from a book I read when I was younger. The Night Circus? Anyways, the book is about these two illusionists who try to one up each other with their skills of magic, but they end up falling in love. Celia is the name of one of those illusionists.”
You grin. “Sounds like a very cute crush.”
Jungkook grins back.
The drive out of the city continues like this. The pair of you cover the topic of books, of music, of your favorite animes. Jungkook just has this magical power of ensuring the tension dissipates from your mind and stays gone—whether it’s through his relaxed nature or easy-going teasing or his ability to ease the conversation from one topic to the next. It feels like every conversation you and Jungkook had in college, whether vague or circling around classes, all have led up to this moment. It seems like everytime you or Jungkook run out of things to talk about pertaining to a certain topic, you would bring up memories from college and just continue from there. Everything feels natural.
It continues to feel natural even as you and Jungkook slowly start to see the edges of the city landscape fade away. The high rises fade into shorter buildings and smaller business areas that surround the bustling city scene. You watch as those buildings and business areas become rows of houses. Residential areas in the suburbs, passing by the occasional school or corner restaurants.
“Before we enter the wide unknown,” Jungkook starts up, breaking the quiet that has enveloped the car. “You want to pick up lunch? You hungry?”
You haven’t even realized how much time has gone by until you look at the clock on Jungkook’s dashboard and notice that it’s past noon. You widen your eyes at the sight. “Wow, I didn’t even realize so much time had passed.”
“Yeah, we drove through a few cities. Time flies when you’re having fun, huh?”
“You wish,” You tease, sticking your tongue out. “So, what, do we stop at a Cheesecake factory or something?”
Jungkook blinks. “I thought you were poor—why would we stop at the Cheesecake factory? And why is that the first restaurant that comes to your mind?”
You wave your hands. “It was just a suggestion!”
“Well, I’m realizing that I should probably let you know that the motel I picked for us to drive to tonight is pretty far out—Google Maps says we probably won’t get there until midnight, and that’s with us driving straight through.”
“Midnight? Fuck, Jungkook. Will we make it to the wedding a day early or something?”
“Ha, ha, no. I’ll go over the schedule I planned out tomorrow. Basically, I want to try and cover most of our ground on the first day so we can take the rest of the trip easy. But I thought I’d let you know now that sitting in a restaurant probably won’t be the most time responsible idea.”
“That’s true.” You look out the window again and see the golden arches of McDonalds appear within your line of sight. “Let’s just stop at McDonalds.”
Jungkook follows your gaze. “Alright, down. Let’s do it.”
He exits off the freeway, following down a route that takes him almost immediately towards the McDonalds parking lot. Since this restaurant is still within the lines of the city, it’s not completely deserted. There are a few cars in the parking lot, even fewer cars in the drive-through line. Because of this, ordering the food only takes a few minutes. Both of you get chicken nuggets, sodas, and large orders of french fries.
“You know, we’re really living like kings,” You comment as Jungkook drives out and makes his way back onto the freeway. “College graduates, both somehow able to secure a job, and still ordering chicken mcnuggets.”
Jungkook shrugs. “I wasn’t told this is what adulthood would be like. But I’m not complaining. My 10-year-old self is singing in so much joy right now.” He says this as he’s stuffing a handful of fries into your mouth. You laugh, and hand him a napkin.
You turn the music back on. The pair of you silently munch on your chicken nuggets, as you angle your head towards the side window once again. As Jungkook drives, the numbers of structural spaces become more scattered the longer you both continue down the freeway.
The anime opening to Haikyuu starts playing when you turn back to Jungkook and realize that he’s trying to close the box of his chicken nuggets. You move right away, taking the cardboard from him and closing it yourself. “Let me know if you need anything, Jungkook. Think of me as your co-pilot.”
He laughs gently. “Is that the rule of the passenger seat?”
You shrug, putting the empty box into the McDonalds bag near your feet. “For me at least. Everytime I do one of these drives with family, the person in the passenger seat has to open the snacks, make conversation, and always stay awake with the driver. It’s just courtesy.”
Jungkook is smiling softly now, mostly to himself, but it lights the corners of his eyes that makes you momentarily unable to look away. “You wanna tell me about your family?”
So you do. Your voice becomes softer as you continue, but Jungkook listens to every single word you say.
True to his observation, it’s not long before the pair of you are surrounded by the wide unknown. Houses in the suburbs become farmhouses and farms. Conversations fade from your family to another comfortable silence as you continue gazing out the window. Jungkook requests your lo-fi playlist at some point, filling the car with the soft and distorted hums. It allows your mind to wander as you stare out the window. The empty stretches of land around you are filled with greenery, with mountains, cutting right through the perfect blue of the sky above you.
By 4:00PM, your entire body is starting to feel the ache of having been seated for long hours on end. You feel the tightness in the muscles of your thigh, the bones in your knees.
Jungkook must be feeling the same, because as soon as a sign for a rest stop comes on, he exits the freeway and pulls into a large parking lot. There’s a restroom on the side, but the area is surrounded by trees with mountains standing in the background.
Jungkook stops the car. “We should get out for a bit to move our legs.”
You’re already tugging on the latch that’ll open the car door. “I’m already feeling it in my knees.” You open the door and immediately extend your legs out onto the solid ground beneath you. You let out a sigh of satisfaction, and Jungkook laughs from next to you.
He’s opening his own car door soon after, but he straightens up into a standing position pretty quickly and stretches upwards. He closes the car door behind him, watching as you eventually pull yourself together to do the same.
You turn to face Jungkook. “I’m gonna use the restroom.” You gesture towards the building and earn a nod from Jungkook, who mentions something about doing the same thing. You meet back at the car a few minutes later.
Jungkook gestures to the trees surrounding the parking lot. “Want to take a walk around the area? Keep the blood flowing to our legs.”
You nod. “That sounds like a good idea.”
“Why don’t you get started. I’ll catch up.” Jungkook watches you leave, before opening the trunk of his car and rummaging around.
He does catch up with you, quickly enough that you hardly notice that he had sent you out first. You hear his footsteps, and the call of your name. You turn around. “Jungkook!”
The sight before you makes you waver slightly, as bouts of shyness overtake you. Standing before you is Jungkook, with his camera in hand. The lens is pointed right at you. As soon as you’re staring straight into the camera, Jungkook grins. “Say hi!”
You whine, whirling back around and covering your face. “Are you filming me right now?”
“I’m a photographer at heart, what did you expect?” Jungkook teases back. “Besides, it’s really pretty around here. You think I won’t film it?”
You snort, starting your walk around the parking lot. “Oh yeah, because there aren’t any parking lots and trees and bathroom stops at home.”
Jungkook is quiet for a second. “That’s not what I meant.”
You turn to stare right into the lens of his camera. “Then the mountains, right?”
He’s quiet for another second. “Sure.” He does, however, sound a little disappointed. You do not notice this.
The pair of you stay quiet as you make your round around the parking lot, taking in the mountains from different angles. The walk around is mostly just to rid of the sensation of your legs falling off, but it’s still a nice view to admire. As soon as you finish a complete round, you and Jungkook return back to the car. You watch as he carefully places his camera into his camera bag before you’re both back in your seats.
Jungkook turns to you. “Ready to get going again?” He looks at the control panel behind his steering wheel. “We’ll probably have to stop for gas in a few hours. But after that, it’s straight to the hotel.”
You settle back into the passenger seat. “I guess we already have our dinner plans then.” You’re referring to the gas station.
Jungkook grins. “I’m down for that.”
And so, the trip continues back on the freeway. With the lo-fi playing in the background, you watch as the sun tears through the blue sky, as the sun finally begins it’s dip to the other side. The singular color once spread across the pane of atmosphere now conjugates around the sun crawling behind the mountain—creating a diffusion of new colors. The corner of the mountain emits an explosion of oranges, pinks, and purples.
You lift your head from the window, eyes taking in the rainbow of pastels around the now fading sun. “Wow, Jungkook, look at that sunset.”
He snorts. “You wanna talk about things that you can’t see back in the city?”
You pout. “But it looks so pretty, see!” You keep gesturing towards the sunset.
Jungkook relents just enough to spare a glance in the direction. He hums. “Yeah, it’s pretty.” He looks back at the road. “Can’t really find a view like that in the city.”
You spend a little more time admiring the sunset than Jungkook does, for obvious reasons. You’ve seen a sunset plenty of times before in the past, but the context of this whole situation makes you unable to look away from it. You’re really out here, stuck in a car with someone you have never hung out with for longer than a few minutes. But you are enjoying yourself. There's peace in that.
So you watch until the sun dips below the mountain, momentarily leaving the sky in a navy color.
The next time Jungkook speaks, the area around you is much darker, and the sky is nearly black. “You hungry now?”
You lift your head from the seat, not even realizing you were drifting off. You’re thinking about Irene, wondering if you should have texted her directly congratulating her on the wedding rather than just simply sending in the RSVP. “Sure. We eat as the car eats, right?”
Jungkook smiles, a gesture you can barely make out from the headlines. “Of course.”
This goes on for a few more miles until the sign for a gas station comes up. A few other cars linger near the dispensers. Jungkook parks near his choice and gets out of the car. You follow behind him. He’s already sliding his credit card into the machine, and the sight makes you reach over to grab his wrist.
“I should pay, you’ve been driving all day!”
He shakes his head, waving you off. “We’ll take turns, okay?” He looks at you. “Buy me dinner tonight too, that sound fair?”
You pout, leaning back as you cross your arms. “Not really, but I guess I’ll have to accept it.”
He grins. “You are correct.”
As soon as the gas pump alerts you of the filled tank, Jungkook returns the pump back to the machine and locks his car. Together, the two of you make your way towards the convenience store, where the bell above rings to alert the workers of your presence. Nods are exchanged as you and Jungkook tear through the aisles to find anything that could satisfy your cravings. You return back with family size bags of hot cheetos and beef jerky, while Jungkook holds his selection of roasted seaweed and Doritos. You select your drinks together before returning to the cashier.
It’s nearing 9:00PM as you and Jungkook return back to his car, where you slide back into your seats and immediately tear into your bags of salt and sodium.
“How are you doing?” You ask as Jungkook finishes his first bag of roasted seaweed.
Jungkook pulls out his phone, scrolling through the final stretch needed to reach the hotel. “Yeah, about four more hours to the motel.” He looks over at you. “I’m good. The salt in this seaweed really helps. How are you doing?”
You nod immediately. “Great. Perfect.”
He smiles, shifting his console to drive and pulling out of the gas station. “I’m used to these weird hours. Remember how I told you I traveled around a bit with Mingyu and Wonwoo? There was this one day we only slept for an hour or something? It sucked, I think I almost passed out that day. But yeah, this is honestly not even that bad.” He turns to look at you. “I think the good company helps, too.”
You roll your eyes, grinning. “You flatter me, Jeon.”
Slowly, 8PM turns into 10PM. One glance at Google maps tells you that you’re still two hours from the hotel. Even though you’re not the one driving, and although you haven’t endured any physical activity that could result in this exhaustion, you still find yourself growing tired. Something about sitting under the sun, sitting in a vehicle that rocks side to side with a consistent hum—it makes your mind work slowly and therefore brings out the sleepiness quicker.
You settle deeper into your seat.
Jungkook giggles from next to you. “You tired already?”
You pout slowly, eyes closed just enough. “I’m not a morning person and you made me wake up at 8!”
“Sure, sure, of course.”
There’s a pause.
You ponder a question for a moment. It’s something that you would never dare ask Jungkook if you had been more awake and more alert. But you’re tired, and your defenses are lowered, and it means you are more prone to asking questions. “Hey, Jungkook? Did you have any girlfriends when we were in college?”
Jungkook doesn’t answer immediately. “Where’s this coming from?” He asks instead.
You shrug, making a dismissive noise as your shoulders rise up. “Curiosity.”
A pause. “I went on a few dates, but I never had a serious relationship.”
“No way.” You lift your head up from the seat. “But I remember seeing you hang out with the occasional girl in the quad, or at some restaurants around the school.”
Jungkook smiles. It’s hard to read the look in his eyes. They’re focused on the road in front of him, but they seem almost hazy and faraway. “Like I said, I went on a few dates. I did really want to get into a long term relationship in college. A lot of my friends had them, that’s where my parents met, so I was really open to the idea of at least experimenting. There were a lot of girls that I thought were nice, easy-going, or just really pretty, so I tried my hand in the whole dating thing.”
“And it didn’t work out?” You coax out gently.
“Not really,” He continues. He steals a glance at you. “We’d go on a few dates, but none of them ever felt substantial. I think girls see me and have a certain expectation—an expectation I couldn’t meet. So I never could picture myself in a long term relationship with any of them.”
You tilt your head towards him. “There must have been someone…”
“Well… there was one girl.” Jungkook starts after a moment. He’s not looking at you this time. “We had a few classes together earlier—we weren’t in the same major program. I don’t even know if I’d say we were close or anything. We just had a few classes and saw each other around on occasion. But the conversations we did have during class or outside of class just felt more real. Honestly, I could have been totally wrong about her. I could have just been blinded by all these expectations I was putting on her, which is ironic. But she was the only person I could actually see myself being in a long term relationship with. Or at least try.”
You hum, still facing towards him in your seat. “Why didn’t you try anything then? You’re a good guy, Jungkook. I’m sure she would have wanted to try with you too.”
“I guess I was just afraid of pushing it and scaring her off. I thought it was better to stay friends with her than try to pursue something. She never gave me an indication that she felt the same.”
“And how do you feel now?”
There’s a pause this time. “I don’t know honestly. We remained friends up until graduation but, uh, never saw her again. I do wonder from time to time how she’s doing.”
“You should reach out to her,” You advise softly. “Since you guys were friends before, I’m sure asking her out just to catch up won’t seem so weird.” You grin at him. “You need to make your move.”
It is then that Jungkook turns to look at you. He looks for a little longer this time, eyes focused entirely on you. Underneath the small crescent of the moon above, you are still able to make out his facial features. His cheeks, his nose, his eyes—the latter is glimmering, like he knows something that you don’t.
“I’m working on that,” He mumbles softly. You turn your head back towards the road.
.
You wake up the next morning feeling groggy, dirty, and messy. Your head lifts up from a pillow you can only vaguely remember falling on, laying on top of a bed you only vaguely remember throwing yourself in. There’s sunlight pouring into the room, but it feels like early morning sun. There’s a crisp in the air that you can feel, that you see out of the window. Right outside is the gathering of bushes and trees, a bright blue sky.
You are in the motel.
Slowly, you push yourself into a sitting position, until you’re resting atop the white linen of your bed. Across the room, snuggled in his own twin bed, is Jungkook. His lashes are fanning across his cheekbones, his lips are parted, and his breathing is slow and soft.
It isn’t until Jungkook shifts in bed that you realize you’ve been watching him like a creep. Hastily, you tear your gaze away and decide to focus your gaze down. You notice immediately that you are not underneath the blankets. Instead, you are lying underneath Jungkook’s jacket.
You roll the jacket off your frame, discovering that you are still in last night’s clothes—which explains why you were feeling so groggy and discombobulated. You look across the floor of the hotel room. Your suitcase is near the foot of your bed, and your phone sits on your nightstand connected to your charger.
Vaguely, you recall what had happened the previous night—how Jungkook drove into the hotel room nearing midnight and the exhaustion was so overpowering that you and Jungkook blindly asked for any room with two twin beds before following through and practically collapsing into your respected beds.
You definitely did that, which explains why you were on top of the bed, why you’re still in yesterday’s clothes, and why Jungkook’s jacket was your blanket. Stealing another glance at Jungkook: underneath the blankets and in a different t-shirt—you can assume that he was able to take a shower before lying down.
With a sigh, you push off Jungkook’s jacket and lay it down on the bed next to you. Hoping not to disturb Jungkook, you slide out of bed and lower your suitcase to the ground. After fishing out a new set of clothes, you decide to take a shower.
The warmth from the shower is the best breath of fresh air you’ve gotten since hitting the road with Jungkook. It feels like your body is going through a battery recharge, and it’s one you take your time with. You step out of the shower, running the towel through your hair and drying yourself enough to slip on your outfit for the day. The towel is thrown around your neck as you step out of the shower, letting the steam follow you out of the bathroom.
Jungkook is still sleeping as you step out, which is good otherwise you’d feel bad for having disturbed his sleep time. After all the driving he did yesterday, you figure he deserves a few extra hours regardless of what the schedule calls for.
You continue running the towel through your hair as you pick up your phone. Strangely, you do not remember connecting it to a charger before knocking out, but you pick it up regardless to see the 9:00AM time across your screen.
There’s a quiet that takes over, in which you’re sitting perched comfortably on your bed and scrolling through your phone as Jungkook continues to drift a few feet away from you.
About thirty minutes seem to pass before Jungkook is moaning softly to himself, letting out a puff of air as he slowly opens his eyes. His arms extend above him, knocking into the headboard and making him curse softly to himself. His eyes open as he lowers his hands to inspect the damage before immediately looking over towards you.
He blinks, a tired smile overtaking his lips as he arches his back into a stretch. “Hey,” He greets, voice rough and scratchy and making your heart clench. Damn thing. “You’re awake. You knocked out pretty quickly as soon as we got the room.”
You laugh. “Yeah, I honestly figured that.” You pick up his jacket, as if he hadn’t been the one to lay it on you those hours ago. “Thanks for trying to help me get comfortable.” You gesture towards the nightstand. “Did you find my charger too?”
Jungkook sits up as he continues a small round of stretches and yawns. “I did,” He says. “You were barely coherent, but made enough sense to tell me where it was in your bag. Sorry for going through it, by the way.”
You shake your head, waving him off. “No worries. Thank you again, Jungkook.”
The pair of you stare at each other for a few moments, before that silence is broken by Jungkook’s phone going off. You look down as Jungkook snatches his own phone off the nightstand. He scrolls through something, before placing it back.
“So, what’s the plan for today?” You ask, bringing your fingers through your hair to comb and give you a distraction.
“Oh! Right.” Jungkook swings his legs off the side of the bed. “We have a slower day today. The hotel I picked is only about five hours away? We’re driving through the mountains today, so there’s this place I want to visit that has a little restaurant and everything. It’ll be a cute pit stop.”
You nod. “Awesome, okay.” You curl your fingers around the strands of now loose strands of hair.
It takes another hour until you and Jungkook are packed up again and ready to leave. A quick stop to the lobby provides both of you with a bagel and cup of coffee each as your breakfast. All before you’re once again sliding into the passenger seat of Jungkook’s car.
You roll your shoulders before clicking your seatbelt in. “Ready for another long day?”
“Of course.” He digs through his center console, producing his aux cord. “Your mission,” He says dramatically, not unlike yesterday. “Should you choose to accept.”
You laugh gently, taking the cord. “You in love with Mission Impossible or something? This is the second time in two days you’re quoting it to me.”
And this is how your day starts off—talks of Mission Impossible films that bleed into conversations about movies.
The day at 10 o’clock in the morning is bright and blue as Jungkook drives back onto the freeway and continues down the road. The first few hours consist of the surrounding flatland, of green grass and high mountains all around. Conversations between you and Jungkook are a little more scattered today, but there’s a new level of comfort about the situation. With both of you well rested, it invites a more relaxed atmosphere as you pass the occasional joke or story time between the pair of you.
As the sun continues to travel higher in the sky, Jungkook’s car starts it’s approach up the mountain. The trees start enveloping the pair of you into a newer, higher world. Not only that, but whenever you and Jungkook reach a clearing, it exposes a dip of lakes, grass, and mountains. And you, always having enjoyed the views of nature, keep an open eye for every single thing.
You see Jungkook’s choice of destination before he does, and you gasp excitedly.
Up ahead is a cloud of pink, white, and red flowers covering an entire mountain side. There is an occasional pop of cedar trees amongst the covering of pink, white, and red, but the colors are so poignant that it captures your attention immediately.
You point to it. “Is that where we’re going?”
Jungkook grins. “Surprise!” He’s selected this spot before offering the invitation to let you come along, but you’re not complaining. You’ve never been to a flower farm before, despite having heard about them and seen pictures of them for most of your childhood. You continue to watch with wide eyes and bright smiles as Jungkook drives closer and closer to the destination, finally parking in the appropriate lot after paying the fee.
You’re practically vibrating in your seat with excitement. “Jungkook, Jungkook, c’mon let’s go, let’s go!” You push on the latch and nearly tumble out onto the ground. You straighten to stand on your feet, before meeting Jungkook near the trunk of his car. Surprise, surprise, he pulls out his camera and loops the strap over his head.
He’s grinning as he closes the trunk. “You’re a little excited, aren’t you?”
“A little?” You echo, clapping your hands, seemingly unable to wipe the grin off your face. “Jungkook, this is a flower farm! It’s so exciting!”
So you dart off with Jungkook following closely behind you. The parking lot is located at the top of the flower farm, so the tour around the fields is a downwards one towards the bottom. A small pathway maps out a route for you to follow as you take in the various lines of flowers and colors. One short glimpse at the brochure tells you that these are spring flowers, and that you and Jungkook are visiting during the perfect season. You and Jungkook continue through your makeshift tour in silence, taking in the flowers as well as the view that extends out far beyond your line of sight while Jungkook snaps photographs behind you. Words don’t need to be said when everything around you says it all.
At the bottom of the field is a cafe, a small brick building with an outdoor seating area facing the now upward flower display. You and Jungkook order sandwiches and soda, and take your seats outside as you wait for your number to be called. There are a fair amount of people today at the field, most of which you can see ahead roaming through the flowers ahead.
“Have you ever been to a flower farm before?” Jungkook asks, as he glances over at you to see how bright your expression is.
You smile as you turn to him. “No, never. But thank you for bringing me here, it’s beautiful here.”
Jungkook smiles, looking a little smug. He looks proud of himself. “I’ve always wanted to come here, so I’m glad I was able to bring you along.” It looks like he wants to say more, but the number that rests between Jungkook’s fingers is called out, interrupting the conversation. He returns a moment later with the food. “I actually wanted to ask you something,” He says, taking the sandwich plate off the tray and placing it in front of you.
You take the napkins that are being offered to you. “What’s up?”
He settles down into his seat. “I didn’t get to return the question that you asked me last night.”
It takes you a second to realize what he’s referring to. Immediately, you feel yourself turn red as you press your lips together. You were definitely drowsy last night, and hadn’t put too much consideration in the aftermath of asking Jungkook about his college relationships. You instead try for a laugh, as you wave him off. “Well, you don’t need to ask me. It’s pretty boring.”
“Nonsense,” Jungkook brushes off, taking another bite of his sandwich. “So tell me, did you get into any relationships in college?”
You laugh, albeit a little nervously. “No, not really. I never even went on any dates before—I guess, like you, I just couldn’t see myself in any long term relationship with anyone that seemed to like me.”
“Well, how about crushes on your end? Did you like anyone?”
You gaze over at Jungkook—taking in his wide curious eyes, his soft voice, his contagious laugh. The memories of him waving at you in class, of him catching up to you afterwards to continue previous conversations, of him going out of his way to say hi to you in the library. Jungkook has always been thoughtful, considerate, and soft along the edges. How could you not have crushed on him during college?
And how could you not continue to have these lingering feelings for him afterwards?
You think about your own advice you had given to Jungkook. You should reach out to her. Since you guys were friends before, I’m sure asking her out just to catch up won’t seem so weird. You need to make your move. Could you even follow your own advice?
You look down before Jungkook could start asking questions about your staring. “There was this one guy,” You start, trying for an uneasy laugh. “But I don’t think he ever noticed me. Well, that’s a lie. I guess we were kind of friends? I think it’s more along the lines of me being out of his league.”
“That’s depressing,” Jungkook notes as he finishes his sandwich. You hardly even noticed him inhaling the thing. “How could you be out of a guy’s league? You’re so smart and funny and easy to talk to—if anything, a guy would probably be out of your league.” He leans forward, bringing you close enough where you can clearly make out the mole underneath his lip. “Tell me about this punk. So I can tell you he’s not good enough for you.”
You laugh, keeping your gaze on him. You doubt he’d be so confident had he known about ‘this punk’. “He isn’t a punk,” You remark quietly. “He’s really nice, and really sweet. I was pretty quiet in college. Definitely introverted and kept to myself and had a hard time making friends. Although I would have honestly barely considered him a friend, he just made me feel like my time was meaningful and my attention was valuable to him.” Jungkook’s eyes continue to bore into yours. “If anything, I just wish he knew how much I admire him.”
Jungkook’s gaze is unwavering across your face, once again displaying that unreadable expression. Yet, despite that, something glimmers in his eyes and he seems to come to an understanding you yourself don’t know about. That glimmer keeps swimming across the orbs, even as he switches his gaze between your eyes. They flicker down to your lips for a second, and your heart stutters in your chest.
Jungkook coughs, pulling away from you as he seems to hyper-focus his attention on the soda still in front of him. He looks shy as he steals another glance at you from across the table. “He might not have made you feel that important if you were too scared to tell him how you felt.”
You look down at your sandwich and take another bite. Something about the way he’s staring holes into the side of your face tells you that he knows something that you don’t. You wonder what he’s thinking.
Jungkook wears that thoughtful expression for the rest of the visit to the flower field, as the pair of you return back to his car and slide back in your seats. He stays quiet as you resume the trip, slowly making your way back onto the freeway and towards your second motel.
This kind of quiet is different than the previous silences the pair of you have grown to share over the past twenty-four hours. Unlike the comfortable moments of unspoken words, this is more tense. Like he knows something that you don’t.
You don’t know what to say, or how to break that silence. You don’t know if perhaps you said something you shouldn’t have, or said something to make him uncomfortable. All of those thoughts are not pleasant ones.
Jungkook stays quiet for most of the drive through the mountain. The music you have selected is loud enough that seems to drown the tense atmosphere, but the questions still press themselves deeply into your mind. What is he thinking about?
And worse of all: did he know you were talking about him?
You and Jungkook only speak a handful of times during the trip. He asks you if you need to use the restroom, if you’re hungry, and if you could play him your favorite anime openings. The pair of you have a handful of laughs about your mutual love for Haikyuu and Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, but most of the drive to the motel is ridden out in silence.
The pair of you reach the hotel around dinnertime, definitely nowhere as exhausted as you had been the previous night, but just as eager to finally reach your destination. The tension between you and Jungkook has eased slightly, so you can only assume that perhaps he has overcome whatever was bothering him. You yourself have pushed the thought of Jungkook knowing the truth out of your mind. After all, if he had known, you assume he would have brought it up. Or at least called for an Uber to send you home. You assume you would have provided some sort of reaction for the two of you to talk about. But alas, those thoughts follow a conversation that has not happened, and will probably never happen, because you’re sure that you’ll never have to be in a situation that forces your feelings to go out of control once again—!
“Hi,” Jungkook returns to the hotel clerk behind the desk, a girl to be about your age, who is flickering her gaze between you and Jungkook. A flicker in her eyes tells you that she already has multiple thoughts and assumptions about your relationship. “Do you have a room with two beds?”
“Oh!” The girl blinks, momentarily looking taken aback. “Of course, let me check.” She turns her attention to the computer screen in front of her. Her eyebrows furrow together. “I’m sorry sir, we only have rooms with one bed available—either a full, queen, or king-size mattress.”
Jungkook makes a noise in the back of his throat as he taps his credit card on the desk. Just watching from the side, you notice how he swallows, how he looks down, how his cheeks turn red. He turns to you after a moment. “D-Do you, uh, do you mind?”
It takes you a second to realize what Jungkook is asking. He’s asking if you’d be okay with sharing a bed with him. Him: your college crush, the guy you never really lost feelings for.
You turn red too. “U-Um…” You press your lips together and swallow. “S-Sure,” You manage, waving your hands out in front of you. “I-I don’t mind. I-If you don’t mind, of course.”
“I-I don’t mind either.” Jungkook, however, looks like he’s about to combust. He looks a little lost again. He blinks once, twice, and seems to realize that he’s supposed to hand the woman behind the desk his card. “Uh, whichever room is the cheapest.”
“That’ll be the room with the full-size bed.” She flickers her gaze between the two of you. “If that’s okay.”
“O-Of course,” He stammers back, allowing the girl to take the card. He looks at you. “Do you mind staying here? I have to go to the bathroom real quick.”
“S-Sure, go ahead.” A part of you wants to hit your head on the desk. What is happening to you? Why is the mere thought of sharing a bed with Jungkook turning you into a pile of mush? You’re a grown ass woman—!
“So the two of you on vacation or something?” The woman behind the desk asks. She’s still in the middle of scanning Jungkook’s credit card.
You try for a smile. “Kind of, we’re going to a friend’s wedding.”
“I see, that sounds fun.” She smiles. “You know, I have to be honest, I was a little surprised he asked for two beds. You guys would make a cute couple.”
At the label, you start to turn red. “O-Oh n-no, we’re not a couple at all. That’s very flattering, b-but yeah we’re not together.”
“Oh, I know,” The girl rebuffs. Her smile looks more like a grin. She places Jungkook’s credit card on the desk, along with a receipt and a pen. “I hope the full size bed will change that.” She gives you a wink.
You part your lips, unsure what to make of the situation. “What—!”
“I’m back,” Jungkook says, sliding up from behind you and making you jump slightly. “What did I miss?”
“Uh…” You wonder if your face is too red or not. It certainly feels that way. “Here!” You push him forward towards the desk. “She scanned your credit card. You just need to sign and we’ll be on our way.”
If Jungkook notices the stiffness in your posture, he doesn’t comment as he leans forward to sign the receipt. Just over Jungkook’s shoulder is the worker, looking at you with a now shit-eating grin across her lips. Several questions ping through your mind, but you don’t get to ask any of those because Jungkook is turning around with his credit card in hand.
“Uh, ready to get going?”
“Sure!” You say, voice a few several pitches higher and you return to wanting the ground to swallow you whole. Jungkook leads the way out of the lobby, and you dare one last glance back towards the woman behind the counter.
She’s waving a slip of paper in her hand.
You turn back to Jungkook. “Hey Jungkook, give me a second. I think we forgot to grab something at the desk.”
It sort of feels like a walk of shame to reach the worker behind the counter, who is still grinning at the sight of you and your internal struggles. She hands you the slip of paper, mouths something that makes you go red, before you’re turning back towards Jungkook. “Good luck,” She had whispered.
Before you’re reaching Jungkook, you open the paper. At the very top is the WiFi password.
Underneath the WiFi password, in what you can only assume is her handwriting, is one sentence. Fate said you guys only get one bed- don’t worry, I think he likes you too :-)
“What was that about?” Jungkook asks.
You shove the paper into your pocket. “The WiFi password,” You supply.
The walk to the hotel room is quiet as Jungkook leads the way through the different hallways, corridors, and numbers on plaques. That tense silence is back as he guides the two of you, stopping only when he reaches the number that matches the one on the index card. He gives you a look, and inserts the card key into the slot. The door beeps, and he pushes open the door to find, true to the word of the lady behind the counter, one full-sized bed in the middle of the room.
For the first few hours, it’s easy to ignore that full-sized elephant in the room. Jungkook takes out his laptop and you guys watch your favorite season of Haikyuu together—it’s season two—or you guys linger about on your phones. It isn’t until nighttime falls into your bones, into your minds, that you realize that you really need to address the new situation.
“I’m gonna take a shower first, if that’s okay,” You say, already sliding off the bed to gather your belongings from your suitcase. Jungkook is humming along to the Haikyuu ending song, but he stops long enough to accept you taking the first shower. He watches you as you fish pajamas out from your suitcase. “Hey, Jungkook…” You start. “Are you sure you’re cool with this?” You gesture to the bed. “I can sleep on the floor. They give you extra bedding for a reason…”
“What? No, of course not, I’m not letting you sleep on the floor.” He moves until his knees are pressed into the mattress. “And I’m cool with this. Promise.” He hesitates. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”
“Y-Yeah,” You manage, straightening into a standing position with your clothes in hand. “I don’t really move around when I’m sleeping. And I trust you, Jungkook.” You keep your gaze on each other until you break it first, turning around to step into the bathroom.
You step out many minutes later, hair freshly washed and feeling much more relaxed than before. Jungkook has moved to the desk in the corner of the hotel room, typing away at some emails on his laptops. He does, however, whirl around upon hearing you exit the bathroom. The sight of you in your sweats, t-shirt, and damp hair makes his eyes linger.
You merely tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “You can go now,” You say quietly.
Jungkook nods. “Thanks.”
Breaking that eye contact again, you turn to the bed and lift the blankets to slide under the covers. You rest your head on the pillow, and immediately start to drift away.
You are brought back after what only feels like a few minutes, when you hear a light switch turn off followed by the blanket next to you lifting up. You turn slightly towards the other side of the bed. “Jungkook?” You whisper.
A stillness. “Ah shit, I’m sorry. I was trying to be sneaky.”
“Mmm…” You mumble softly, turning your body 180 degrees in order to face him. You can vaguely make out the shadow of Jungkook’s outline. “Don’t worry. I’m a really light sleeper. Come on in.”
There is a shift in the blankets until you feel the additional weight of Jungkook’s figure crawling in next to you. The knowledge that Jungkook is lying right next to you turns your blood hot both with anxiety and because Jungkook brings in a new wave of heat underneath the covers. For a cool spring night, it’s comforting. But also further anxiety-inducing.
Jungkook shifts and even though the pair of you are on opposite sides of the bed, you can still feel the warmth radiating off his body. In the silence of the hotel room, you can hear Jungkook breathing.
“Is this okay?” It’s Jungkook asking. His voice is quiet, soothing, and very close to your face. You realize that you guys are facing each other.
Still, you have to give an answer. “Y-Yeah,” You reply softly. “Goodnight, Jungkook.”
“Goodnight.”
You turn onto your back. You try to go to sleep, you really do. But your heart is pounding, and rather than the blood filling your ears, it’s the sound of Jungkook’s breathing.
“Y/N, you still awake?” Jungkook asks softly.
You snort. “It’s only been a minute.”
Jungkook smiles. “Sorry. I just… I have a question. A thought, actually.”
“What is it?”
“Well, okay, I don’t want to come off as arrogant or self-centered, but it’s just a question and just this thought that I have…”
“Jungkook.” You turn back to face him. “You can ask me the question. I don’t mind.”
“Well, alright.” Jungkook shifts. He’s a little closer now, you can make out the outline of his face. Everything looks slightly more defined now, definitely a result of your eyes adjusting to the darkness. “When you were talking about the guy you had a crush on… you know, when I asked if there was someone you were interested in while we were in college.”
“Oh, I remember.” Your heart feels fuzzy, even though you have no idea what he’s going to ask you.
“Okay, um. I guess I just wanted to know. Were you talking about me?
The world seems to stop tilting on its axis—and all the consequences of that follow along. Everything around you slows to a grind: your heart stops in your chest, and all the air drains out of your lungs. You hold your breath, feeling as if your body has just been dipped underwater. Thousands of thoughts ping through your mind. You feel like that episode of Spongebob where all the file cabinets in your brain are catching aflame. You suddenly feel like you have no thoughts, but too many thoughts at the same time.
Above all, one question rises above all the rest: how did Jungkook know?
You’re so wrapped up in your thoughts that you don’t hear your name being called. It isn’t until you feel a hand at your shoulder do you jolt. “H-Huh?”
“S-Sorry.” Jungkook sounds a lot more nervous now. “You weren’t responding.”
“I… I was thinking,” You reply lamely.
A pause. “What’s your answer?” Were you talking about me?
You swallow. Should you tell the truth? Or should you deny everything with the hopes that Jungkook will forget this conversation ever existed?
The words spill out before you can think of a proper answer. “What if I was?”
Jungkook is quiet for a moment. “Well…” He starts up again, inching forward towards you. Every move he makes is amplified in your ear, every squeak of the mattress and every rustle of clothing echoed in the small space that is your hotel room. “I’d be kinda frustrated, to be honest. Because when I was talking about my own crush, it might have been about you.”
At Jungkook’s confession, the world seems to come crashing down on you as everything around tries to catch up to you. Immediately, you assume that perhaps you hadn’t heard Jungkook correctly, or maybe you’re completely misinterpreting what he’s trying to say to you.
In a perfect world, maybe you’d say something witty and smart. Maybe you’d play along until he snapped. Maybe you’d be fluent in courting talk and understand exactly what he’s trying to say to you.
But this isn’t a perfect world, and you are neither witty nor smart. You most certainly are not aware of flirtations. You need boys to be as straightforward as possible. Which is why you utter the most comprehensible: “What?”
You feel a warmth at your hip—Jungkook’s hand against your skin. “Ahhhh.” Jungkook starts, not at all sounding fearful but rather casual. Still the underlying case of shyness, however, because this is still Jungkook. “I forgot you sometimes need simple things spelled out for you. Remember when you emailed our Arts History professor three times because you kept forgetting what font she wanted the assignment in?”
You flush—Arts History was the class you and Jungkook were forced to pair up together for. Maybe you would have protested it more had you known Jungkook would turn out to be a little shit over it. “That was a one time thing! You’ve been bringing it up for as long as I’ve known you!”
Jungkook giggles, pulling you closer so your face is against his collarbone and his chin rests on your shoulder. “Shh, okay, okay, I’m sorry.”
Your face is burning at the feeling of your bodies so close together, your fingers pressed against his shirt and your nose against his skin. He smells like floral fabric softener. “Jungkook…?” You whisper softly, breath fanning his neck.
Jungkook tilts his head to rest gently against your temple. He stays quiet for a moment, absorbing the moment. “If you did have a crush on me in college, it would be frustrating. Because I had a crush on you too.”
This time it’s straightforward, just like how you’ve always wanted it. Why can’t you seem to reply?
“Oh.”
“I know.”
You curl your fingers around Jungkook’s shirt. “What if…” You start slowly. “What if I said I still had those feelings?”
Jungkook seems to think about his answer. “I’d say that I do too.”
You swallow, nodding in a way that allows him to feel the movement. “Okay then.”
Without a warning, Jungkook moves to curl his whole arm around your frame. This brings you even closer together. He noses your hairline. “Go to sleep,” He whispers softly. “We can talk about this tomorrow.”
A part of you wants to say no—that holding off on confessions isn’t what happens in novels or tv shows or movies. But the larger part of you knows that you won’t be able to have a proper discussion like this when you are weak, tired, and vulnerable. Your heart stalls at his consideration, allowing yourself to be content just like this: asleep, cuddling with Jeon Jungkook as you’ve imagined since you first developed your crush.
It’s much better than the fantasy.
.
You wake up the next morning with Jungkook’s arms wrapped around you, his soft breathing against your neck and his lips dusting the skin of your neck. There’s a new kind of comfort you find being held like this, and a part of you wants to melt back into his arms. You think you can pretend to be asleep just to stay here a little longer, but the urgency you have to pee and get the day started becomes too pressing.
Your previous assumptions of Jungkook being a heavy sleeper are confirmed as you manage to untangle yourself from him without so much as a whine from his end. By the time you finish with the bathroom, Jungkook is just beginning to push himself into a sitting position.
You linger near the foot of the bed. “Good morning,” You greet, almost nervously. For good reason to—the memory of last night is vague but defined well enough where you aren’t sure what the next course of action should be. It’s not like your college ever offered a course about what to do when your crush admits to liking you back.
Jungkook looks at you from across the bed. He gives you a small smile, a reassuring one. “Morning,” He says back. “How did you sleep last night?”
You twist your hands together. “Pretty good, actually. How about you?”
“Me too.” He adjusts his position so he can crawl over to you. He slides his legs over the side of the bed right next to you. He brings his hands towards you, palms up. Although he’s close enough to reach you, he doesn’t. Instead, he asks: “Can I?”
You don’t say anything, you merely rest your hand in his. He tugs you towards him, stopping only when you’re standing between his legs. He still keeps his fingers curled around yours, turning your hand up to play with your fingers.
He looks up at you, a soft smile across his lips. “Hi.”
You smile back. “Hi.”
He laces your fingers together, resting them between your bodies. “I guess now for the bigger question… how are you feeling?”
You look down at your hands, deciding you like the way his larger hands cover yours. “H-How did you know I was talking about you?” You ask instead, looking over at him.
Jungkook shifts his gaze away for a moment. “I don’t know,” He admits earnestly. “You were just looking at me back at the flower field and I had a feeling. And I really think a part of me was hoping you were talking about me.”
Unable to help yourself, you feel the side of your mouth quirk up into a small smile. “What would you have done if I wasn’t talking about you?”
He exhales in a laugh. “Honestly, I might have just driven out in the middle of the night and gone over a bridge or something.”
You laugh, trying to diffuse your smile by pressing your lips but it only works so well. “I was really surprised to hear you liked me back.”
“Of course!” He exclaims, looking momentarily shocked that you would feel this way. “I wasn’t messing around when I said you were smart, funny, and easy to talk to. That’s what made me really like you when we first met. Whenever we talked you just felt so real and approachable—like I could just be myself around you. And even now, seeing you after graduating and realizing you’re still all of those things. It just makes me like you more.”
You feel your heart thumping wildly in your chest. You’ve never thought of yourself in the way Jungkook is describing you—you always just assumed that you were in the background, that you’d never be enough.
Jungkook is looking at you, his eyes big and wide and full of truth. “Is that weird?” He asks.
You shake your head immediately. “No, no it’s not weird at all.” You shrug a shoulder, giving him a meek smile. “It’s really sweet, actually.”
Jungkook grins at that, heaving out a breath as a sign of his lowered defenses. “I think you’re sweet too.”
You groan at that, throwing your head back as Jungkook breaks into a series of giggles. “You’re corny.”
“You’re not complaining,” He points out. This is true.
You shrug. “I guess that means I’m expecting us to catch up on three years of terrible flirting.”
The smile slides off his face. “You’re right.” He brings your joined hands closer together until your whole body is standing closer to his. “Can I ask to kiss you?”
The four letter K word makes your heart stutter in your chest once more. Your hands are so close to his chest that you can feel his own heart beating, and the thought of Jungkook being equally nervous for this gives you enough confidence to return his question. “Why don’t you ask and find out?”
He smiles, a bunny smile that crinkles his eyes. “Touche. Can I kiss you?”
You smile back. “Yes…” You whisper, leaning down just enough for Jungkook to crane his neck up in order to meet each other halfway. It’s just a closed-mouth kiss, a soft weight against your lips.
It’s one that Jungkook pulls away from before you can really enjoy it, really ponder asking for more. “Sorry,” He says immediately, pointing to his mouth. “Morning breath.”
The pair of you stare at each other for a moment, before bursting out into laughter. That tense atmosphere is gone, replaced inside with that previously casual and comfortable air—as you step away from Jungkook and let him get his morning started. Except this time, the air is filled with open lingering stares, shy smiles, and Jungkook taking your suitcase wordlessly as you exit your hotel room.
By the time you load into your car, it’s nearing noon and the gas tank in Jungkook’s car is almost empty. The pair of you agree in another champion’s breakfast—gas station food.
“I swear, we’re both going to have terrible breakout tomorrow during the wedding,” You point out. Despite your words, you still tear into your Nacho Cheese Doritos with the aggression of a gorilla. “I’m going to photograph horribly. Irene will be so embarrassed.”
“You photograph horribly? Inconceivable!” He says the word just as it is said in The Princess Bride, which makes you burst into another fit of laughter.
The afternoon pans out the same way it has for the past two days. Jungkook drives onto the freeway, you decide the music, and the conversations fade in and out. Neither of you talk about the events of the previous night or of what happened in the morning—but the way Jungkook reaches out to laces your fingers together is more than enough.
The town Jungkook has selected to stop for the evening is a five hour drive from the wedding venue—and it’s an actual city space this time, with restaurants and grocery stores and apartments. As soon as Jungkook tells you this information, you are bursting with excitement. It’s been two days since the pair of you actually stopped and lingered in a city environment and you miss it.
It takes another whole day of driving to reach the city destination, as the first alert you get is the increasing number of cars that have joined you on the freeway. These more busy freeways guide you into the city, where you are greeted with the first sight of buildings, sidewalks, restaurants, and parking lots in days.
Even though most of these landmarks are simple flashes that you and Jungkook pass through on the way to the hotel he has selected, you keep your eyes glued out of the window in order to take in as much of the surrounding area as you can. You continue to watch as the immediate high rises become more sporadic and spread out, until he’s finally pulling into the hotel. The sun is just setting behind the many buildings along the horizon. Lots of other cars are parked in the parking lot. You can hear other cars, buses, and trunks driving around the background—and you feel strangely comforted by this discovery.
“Are you okay with sharing another bed today?” Jungkook asks as he guides the pair of you into the lobby. “I may or may not have called to make a reservation earlier when you were in the bathroom.”
You laugh, feeling giddy at the thought of Jungkook taking the initiative to continue progressing your now slow-growing relationship. “Was that all they had left?” You ask teasingly as you make your way to the counter.
Jungkook smiles down at you. “Perhaps I didn’t ask…”
Your lips part. “Jungkook!”
“What?” He’s laughing now. “I think I’m gonna bow out of any excuse to cuddle with you now that you’ve given me a taste of what that’s like?”
You’re gasping in the midst of your laughter. “You’re terrible,” You manage.
So Jungkook checks in—true to his word, he has reserved a single full-sized bed for the room.
“Hey, so, I was thinking,” He starts as he’s following the map provided to him by the employee with directions about getting to his appropriate room. This hotel is slightly bigger than the off-the-road ones you and Jungkook pulled into, so it takes a little longer to find the room. After a few minutes of turning the map over, you two eventually find the room.
“What’s up?” You ask as you push open the door and roll your suitcase into the space, with Jungkook following closely behind you.
“Come here,” Jungkook requests gently, watching as you let go of your suitcase and make your way towards him. You move into his space easily, allowing him to hold you by the waist. “Since we’ve both admitted to missing out on three years of courting, flirting, and dating—I think we should go out to an actual restaurant to have an actual date.”
You lean back slightly and give him a slightly shocked look. “Really?”
“Yes!” He says. “Besides, someone has to put their foot down and say that eating only McDonalds and gas station hot dogs is not the right way to go.”
You laugh at that. “True, but we were having so much fun!”
“Nope!” He exclaims, shaking his head. “The foot is going down, we’re going to an actual restaurant for dinner. Get changed, take a shower, whatever you need to do to freshen up.” There’s a finality in his words as he finally steps away from you, the smile of sweetness still on his lips.
The restaurant Jungkook picks after scrolling through Yelp and other lists of recommendations is a corner Italian place that apparently serves the best Linguini and clams—a dish that you really enjoy. So you put something together much more presentable than your usual round of sweatpants and baggy t-shirts—replacing the sweatpants with black jeans and giving yourself a cream colored cropped sweater. It makes Jungkook’s eyes widen all the same. He’s clad in his usual black jeans and oversized coat that is perfect for the spring breeze.
Since the restaurant is within walking distance of the hotel, you and Jungkook agree to chill off on the driving just enough to stretch your legs and actually have a walk for once—all while celebrating the final night of the road trip.
“I was a little worried about this at first, to be honest with you,” You admit softly to Jungkook, long after the pair of you have been seated in a corner booth and have ordered your food. You’re circling the pasta noodles around your fork, and Jungkook is watching with a touch of amusement and adoration in his eyes.
“Not gonna lie, so was I,” Jungkook returns back with an equally meek smile.
You gape at him. “You invited me though!”
“I did!” Jungkook exclaims with a laugh, looking down at his own order of food. “Me inviting you was honestly a spur of the moment thing. Me catching up to you, however, was me trying to be brave.”
“You seemed pretty brave throughout most the trip,” You point out
Jungkook shakes his head, situating his arms in a cross motion. “Nah dude that was just all a very well thought out facade. A part of me was expecting it to go terribly so I could at least walk away knowing that I built you up in my mind and the fantasy of that was better than the reality.” He must see the look of uncertainty casting a shadow over your mind because he immediately cuts back in. “Just so you know, the reality is much better than anything I could have conjured up.”
You lower your chin slightly, staring over at Jungkook. You bring one shoulder up into a half-hearted shrug, maybe to showcase a certain level of carelessness. “What were you conjuring up then?”
“Oh, I don’t know if you want to go there right now,” He rebuffs, looking a little red in the cheeks. “I think we should start slow. Refer to the PG thoughts, if you will.”
You laugh, focusing your gaze momentarily on the last of your pasta. You had sorted through the clams, since they weren’t your favorite things to eat. “Jungkook, are you admitting to me that you have thoughts above PG?”
“Oh shit, that wasn’t my intention!”
You giggle. “I’m messing with you, Jungkook!”
He pouts. “Don’t do that.” He rests his hand on the table, palm up, inviting for you to take it. “I just want to spend today with you, and take it slow—I just want to hold your hand and kiss you and lay with you and just be with you in the way I couldn’t be with you in college. Is that too weird?”
You look down, pressing your lips together, trying not to squeal and definitely not trying to throw yourself off the chair. You look back over at him and squeeze his hand. “That’s not too weird at all. That’s actually really sweet. Honestly, those are things I probably would have asked for regardless. I don’t really know the rules of dating—I never really went out that often.”
Jungkook smiles sweetly back at you, he brings your hands up to kiss the back. “I’ll give you a few pointers then, let’s get going.”
After the check is paid for—it ends up being a split between the two, it’s the best compromise you can come up with considering he wants to take you out but you want to pay him back for driving this far—the pair of you emerge back into the city space. Jungkook’s hand is still wrapped around yours, using that connection point to pull you close to him.
“Now this move,” Jungkook explains, beginning to lead you both back to your hotel room. “Is when the gentleman walks the lady home, because their date went by smoothly and he wants to see her for as long as possible.”
You laugh. “I’m enjoying this so far.”
The pair of you continue down the sidewalk, using the time it’ll take to walk back to the hotel to walk off the food in your stomach. You resume your conversation, giggling and laughing all the same until you’re walking through the lobby of the hotel and slowly making your way to your hotel room.
Right before you step inside, Jungkook stops you. “Normally, the front door is where the gentleman drops the lady off, and they talk about how well the date went.”
“Oh, well, in that case, this was so nice, Jungkook,” You remark, beaming at Jungkook’s own smile. “I’m glad you convinced me to eat real food for once.”
“You’re welcome—I had fun too.” Jungkook slides closer to you. You, completely hypnotized by his next movements, watch as he cups your face with his hand to angle you upwards. “This is the part where we have a first kiss, because the stars are lined up for this. And because I really want to.”
You smile, curling one of your hands around the wrist near your face. “Seeing as we’ve already had our first kiss, how about a second one?”
Jungkook smiles back, eyes lidded towards your mouth. “I guess that’ll work.” His lesson on dating, it seems, is done, as he leans in to kiss you. You suck in a breath as he covers your lips with his. It’s deeper than the first time he kissed you—which had been more of a peck with a side of morning breath. But now you’re both awake, tasting like wine, and drunk off each other. It’s a more real kiss.
You whimper as Jungkook’s tongue runs over your bottom lip, before slipping into your mouth. It’s a sensation you can get completely lost in, until Jungkook pulls away.
Under the hallway light, you can make out his flushed cheeks, his wet lips, his dark gaze.
Immediately, Jungkook is pulling you to his side before he starts digging through the pockets of his jeans. “Alright, we’re going inside right now.”
You lean into his shoulder. “I thought I was supposed to invite you inside, Jeon? What happened to giving me pointers on first dates?”
“Screw that,” He retorts, practically shoving the hotel door open. He turns around to face you. “Now, this is our hotel room. And I want to kiss you in private.”
Your laughter is drowned out as Jungkook tugs you by the wrist into the room.
.
Under different circumstances, waking up next to each other after a first date would hit you with a wave of anxiety and maybe even a vague sense of embarrassment at letting someone you like see you in such a vulnerable position.
Right now, however, under the morning sunlight within the covers of your shared hotel bed, you just feel happy and content. You wake up on your side, with an arm resting over Jungkook’s chest and his fingers curling around your own. There is an immediate feeling of giddiness that overtakes you, because it’s hard for you to believe that this is happening. Someone you’ve liked and continue to like actually returning your feelings? That has always been such a foreign concept to you.
You don’t know how long you continue laying in bed until Jungkook starts shifting next to you, signalling his wake. You watch as his eyes slowly peel open, laced with grogginess but still looking unfairly attractive that there are butterflies in your stomach.
Jungkook lets out a sigh, as he looks down at you. A tired smile takes over his expression. “Morning.”
“Good morning,” You reply back, voice soft and a little shy. “Happy wedding day.”
That is true. Today is Irene’s wedding—an event you and Jungkook will arrive at in nearly five hours. There’s a strange sort of knot that is beginning to twist itself in your stomach, a knowledge that something good is coming to a close but a fear in the unknown as to what this would mean regarding your relationship with Jungkook. Neither of you have laid down groundwork for your relationship—if this even is a relationship to begin with. You may be inexperienced with this kind of stuff, but you’re sure that one date and making out on a hotel bed doesn’t immediately constitute an exclusive relationship.
If Jungkook notices the tension in your form, he doesn’t say anything. He kisses your temple and grumbles something about wanting to get the day started. He mentions something about not having to worry about getting dressed for the wedding straightaway—that he has reserved a room at the hotel some of the guests of the wedding would be staying at, which is where you will be getting ready before the event. You nod, hearing pieces of his words, but a lot of it gets lost in your own thoughts.
Is it okay to ask questions about where you stand with Jungkook? Is it foolish of you to even bother wondering? You’ve seen movies and have had conversations with friends about guys who dismissed questions like that as ‘moving too fast’. You don’t want to scare Jungkook off, but you also need to know that you’re not wasting your time.
You remain in bed, staring up at the ceiling as you sigh and try to organize through your thoughts. You also try to break down how the past three days have been.
However, trying to do so proves to be a difficult challenge, as Jungkook’s phone starts buzzing excessively on his side of the nightstand—it seems like he is getting a series of text messages from someone.
You know you shouldn’t be looking or prying, but the constant binging of alerts only eats at your nerves more. You turn in the bed towards Jungkook’s side, picking up the device to search for the silence switch along the sides. The screen, however, lights up and you immediately see a name you have not seen or heard since college.
Jennie (9:53AM): hey jungkook !! just thought I’d ask where you want to meet up before the wedding starts
Jennie (9:53AM): since we’re each other’s plus ones, I think we should show up together but idk let me know what you think
Jennie (9:53AM): I’m excited to see you again and catch up, it’s been so long !! :)
You freeze, feeling your body overload with information and questions come flooding into your mind. At first, you think you reread the message wrong. You think that maybe Jennie is texting the wrong person. But after the third or fourth time, you realize that this isn’t a dream. That Jungkook already has a plus one to the wedding, and it isn’t you.
More than that, it’s Jennie.
Jennie is also someone you went to college with, and someone that you only heard of between the grape vines and therefore is someone that is only vaguely recognizable. But you definitely know her. Jennie had been one of Irene’s friends, president of her sorority—and labeled some of the nicest people on campus. Even just from rumors and the one time you ran into her around the school, you can see it. Jennie is nice, beautiful, friendly, and outgoing. All the things you are not.
And now, she’s Jungkook’s plus one to the wedding. And Jungkook did not tell you.
Your lips part as your head starts to spin. Why didn’t Jungkook tell you he already had a plus one to Irene’s wedding? Maybe he did not owe you the explanation, and maybe you should never have assumed he’d be your plus one to the wedding.
The thought of you assuming Jungkook would be your date to the wedding fills you with a vague mortification—why did you have to go ahead and assume?
Your mind starts to spiral as you fall into the depths of overthinking. Now you were set to attend a wedding alone, with no plus one, and surrounded by people you don’t know. All while watching Jungkook sit with Jennie, eat with Jennie, and dance with Jennie.
Holy fuck, holy fuck, what were you going to do? You can’t go to this wedding alone. You can’t confront Jungkook about this—you’re not even supposed to be touching his phone or looking through his phone. He would definitely be upset. How could he not be?
At once, the tears collect in your eyes. How could this be happening? Seconds ago, you had been so content and happy, excited to attend this wedding with Jungkook. Seconds ago, you had been confident about your feelings, and Jungkook’s feelings in return. From all the kisses he showered you in, the date, the talking, the confessing—how could you not feel that way?
Had Jungkook just been pulling your leg? After all, he did have three years to talk to you, to go out with you. Why hadn’t he said something sooner? Is he here right now: talking to you and laughing with you because he hadn’t found anyone and knows that you would do anything for him?
In the background, you can vaguely make out the shower in the bathroom turn off, signalling Jungkook’s near completion with the bathroom. At once, it feels like you’re in a car that has enforced sudden breaks and has sent you flying against the dashboard—like you can’t breathe.
Hastily, you rest Jungkook’s phone back on the nightstand and roll back over to your side of the bed. You blink quickly, trying to rid of the tears that have collected in your eyes while also trying to calm the lump in the back of your throat.
Just as you’re starting to get a handle back on your feelings, the bathroom door opens and you can vaguely make out Jungkook’s humming as he exits. The fact that he sounds so carefree while you’re hurting only a handful of feet away almost makes the tears come back in. But you’ve learned how to hide your emotions well.
Jungkook’s soft laugh brings you out of your thoughts. “Still in bed?” He asks jokingly, sitting on the edge and placing a hand on your ankle. You try not to stiffen at the gesture. “You know, even though we’re getting dressed at a different hotel, we still need to get going.”
You take in a breath. “I’m comfortable here,” You exclaim, sitting up and facing Jungkook. He’s looking as wide-eyed, easy-going, and comfortable as always. You’re not sure how long you can keep up the facade of being okay. “I was just waiting for you, that’s all.”
You don’t wait for him to reply as you slide off the bed, grab your clothes from your suitcase, and lock yourself in the bathroom. You ignore the lump in your throat as you brush your teeth, as you get your day started. Finally, you look up at your own reflection in the mirror. Unlike previous times, when there had been a glimmer to your gaze—you don’t know you recognize the now disheartened individual before you.
You exit the bathroom and immediately turn to pack up your suitcase once more, ignoring Jungkook in the process. The boy is on his phone, typing something—probably a text message. Maybe he’s responding to Jennie, confirming their date for tonight, as he remains completely oblivious to your feelings.
The thought brings the tears back to your eyes.
“Ready to go?” Jungkook asks, all smiles and soft eyes as he slides off the bed to face you.
You don’t look at him as you shoulder your carry-on bag and straighten into a standing position. “Yeah.” You don’t mean for the tone to come out dry and unresponsive, but you’re too focused on trying to get the tears out of your throat.
You miss the way the smile slowly slips off Jungkook’s face as he watches you move towards the door.
Jungkook moves towards you, reaching forward to take your suitcase from you just as he’s done for the past few days.
You, however, brush him off. “It’s okay, Jungkook.” You pull open the door and make your way down the hallway without looking back to see if he’s following closer behind you. You don’t need his help, you don’t need his pity. You don’t need him to do these things, to lead you on—especially if he was going to end up with some other girl at then end of the day.
You stay quiet as you make your way to Jungkook’s car. Jungkook steals the occasional glance in your direction, seeming to finally realize that something is wrong.
He, however, doesn’t say anything until you’re back on the freeway—on the five hour drive towards the wedding venue. “Everything okay?”
You’re playing with your hair, but you stop long enough to spare him a short glance. You’re not even looking at his face, you’re looking at the chair he’s seated on. “What do you mean?”
Jungkook clears his throat. “You’ve been really quiet since I got out of the bathroom. You…” He gestures to the center console. “You’re not even playing any music.” He tries for a smile. “I’d really like to listen to your ‘everything’ playlist.”
“Sorry, I’m not really in a music-listening mood right now,” You whisper, realizing that you should probably cover up your ass a little better than you are currently. “S-Sorry, I think it was something at the restaurant yesterday. I’m not feeling super hot right now.”
“Oh no, do we need to stop by a pharmacy or something? I can run in and get some stomach machine or whatever—!”
“Jungkook, it’s fine.”
Maybe it’s the finality of your tone, or the sharper edge in your voice, but Jungkook quiets down again. One glance in his direction shows you the furrow of his eyebrows, the set of his jawline—he looks hurt and confused. And that kills you inside.
A small part of you wants you just lay all your cards on the table—to admit your side of the story and let him know about the texts and the hurt feeling still eating itself at your heart.
But another part of you, the bigger part of you, doesn’t want to give Jungkook that power. You don’t want to be the one to crack first, to be the one who gets hurt first. So you refuse to say anything, settling deeper and deeper into the seat of Jungkook’s car. Contrary to your initial thoughts, he doesn’t plug in his own phone to play his own music. He simply allows the pair of you to bathe in silence.
Without the music to distract you, without Jungkook trying to make conversation, it forces your mind to linger on the events of the early morning. Maybe Jungkook didn’t tell you because it was obvious to him that the pair of you would never have been a plus one to the wedding in general. He’s probably hurt because Jungkook can’t get his way with you.
The realization that he doesn’t even have the consideration to warn you ahead of time that an invitation for a ride doesn’t equate to an invitation to be a plus one brings the tears back to your eyes. Did you not even deserve a warning? Why would Jungkook let you kiss him, let you fall in love with him—only to turn his back on you like this?
You have to keep your eyes glued to the window of the passenger’s side of the car, just to make sure Jungkook won’t see the tears. You can just imagine that he’ll ask, and the conversation will steer the pair of you into an even more awkward space.
It’s a very agonizing five hours. Not having that time to recover from the shock of those texts is becoming increasingly more difficult for you to handle.
There are a few times that your tears overwhelm your whole system, where you have to sniff to get a handle on your body’s response to the emotions going through your body—which you’re sure Jungkook can hear. After all, there’s no music playing and there is a silence that is threatening to swallow you whole.
Jungkook, however, does not say anything in response to your very obvious sniffle. He merely tightens his grip on the steering wheel, and keeps his mouth shut. You wonder if he’s waiting for you to talk first, to explain what’s going on with you.
The sky is bleeding orange by the time Jungkook pulls into the new hotel, the final hotel. There is still two hours until the wedding is set to start, but every nerve in your body is screaming for you to leave and go back home. Every nerve in your body is telling you that you don’t belong here anymore.
“Okay, I let you have your peace for the whole drive over,” Jungkook starts off, voice tight, fixing the car into park. “But I’m asking you this right now. Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t seem fine… and I’m worried about you…” He reaches across the car to land a hand on your shoulder. It’s a completely normal gesture, especially between you and Jungkook, but you cannot handle it.
You jerk away. “I’m fine,” You snap out, actually fixing your gaze on him this time. Jungkook recoils, immediately retracting his arm from you, looking like you just burned him. You tear your gaze away from him. You’re not strong enough to see him hurt because of you. “Why do you care anyways?”
Jungkook exhales in disbelief, turning towards the steering wheel of the car and running a hand through his hair. “What are you talking about? Is this about last night? Did I… say something to scare you off?”
“This isn’t about what you said, this is about what you didn’t say and what you’re not telling me!”
Jungkook looks like you just grew a second head. “What are you talking about?”
You whirl back to face him. “Oh, so the fact that you and Miss. Jennie were already set to go to this fucking wedding together and you didn’t even think to give me a heads up and tell me?”
Jungkook freezes like a deer in headlights. “What? How did you know about that?”
You laugh, but it’s a hollow noise that only makes that lump come back to your throat. “Nevermind,” You bite out. This time, you don’t stop the tears from resurfacing as you give Jungkook a full look this time. His demeanor changes from frozen to pained at the sight. “I hope you guys are very happy together.”
You don’t say another word as you fumble with the latch of the door before pushing it open with more strength than necessary. You can vaguely hear Jungkook struggling with his own seat belt, but you don’t care. You slam the car door shut and storm away. You don’t know where you’re going—maybe around the corner to scream, or to call a taxi that’ll take you to the airport. You don’t care about the wedding. You don’t think you could face the embarrassment in facing Jungkook or Jennie or Irene right now.
“Shit, Y/N! Y/N!” Jungkook is calling for you now, his footsteps loud against the asphalt.
Everything feels like you’re going through water, which is probably why Jungkook is able to reach you as quickly as he does. He catches you by the wrist.
“Y/N—please, will you stop and just listen to me?”
“No! Jungkook, let me go.” You start trying to tug your wrist, trying to pull yourself away from him. “Let me go! I’m leaving! I don’t want to see you anymore!” You’re gasping, the tears blurring your vision and making you feel powerless.
Without a warning, Jungkook pulls you in his arms. Wrapping his arms around you, he traps you in his embrace. And you are miserable.
“Stop it!” You gasp, trying to push him away. You’re heaving—crying and trying to escape from someone as strong as Jungkook is definitely a workout for your body. “Jungkook, leave me alone. This is all my fault.”
He pauses. “What do you mean?”
You stop struggling, allowing Jungkook to hold you as you pull back enough to look away from his face. You wipe at the tears on your face. “It’s my fault anyways. I said I liked you and you said you liked me too, but maybe that wasn’t enough for you. Just because we like each other doesn’t mean we’re exclusive. I should have asked up front, so I wouldn’t get hurt in the long run.”
“You don’t need to get hurt though,” Jungkook whispers kindly, his voice overcoming the blood in your ears, as well as your own yelling. You quiet down at that, except for your own lungs contracting to catch more air. This leaves you a hiccuping mess. He waits until he knows you’re not going to say anything next. “You’re right, okay? Jennie and I were supposed to be each other’s dates.”
You’re still trying to catch your breath.
Jungkook rests a hand on top of your head, curling his fingers through the strands of your hair soothingly. “Are you okay?”
You hiccup. “Why are you telling me this? I just told you that I’m hurt right now…”
“Shhh.” Jungkook pulls back and cups your face in his hands so you can look at him. “You aren’t listening to me. I said we were supposed to be each other’s dates. We’re not anymore.”
You blink, allowing the tears that were already filling your eyes to fall down your cheeks. Jungkook wipes them gently with his thumb. “What?”
Jungkook’s gaze flickers between your eyes. “Jennie and I are friends, so we’d figure it would be fun to just go together and have a person to sit with, eat with, and dance with. As friends.”
“W-What happened then?” You ask, a watery color in your voice.
Jungkook gives you a gentle smile, the kind of gesture that tells you that you should know the answer already. “You happened, silly.” He keeps his eyes on yours. “I saw you at the party with Jimin and invited you to come with me. I assumed when I asked that we’d be each other’s plus ones. I forgot to tell Jennie though when I asked you out.” He tilts his head at you. “You saw the texts on my phone, didn’t you?”
“I-I’m sorry.” You hiccup again. “Your phone kept going off this morning and I was just trying to put it on silent. I-I didn’t mean to look through your messages…”
“Shh, baby, you’re good, you’re okay.” Jungkook interrupts gently, wrapping his arms tighter around you and swaying the pair of you back and forth. The usage of the nickname fills you with a new feeling, a warmer feeling. It helps calm you down.
Your breathing eventually evens out, bringing you back to reality and to the realization that you and Jungkook are hugging in the middle of a hotel parking lot.
Jungkook loosens his grip on you, letting you step back. He watches you for a moment. “Here,” He says, digging through his pocket and pulling out his phone. “I think you should see this.” He clicks through a few of his apps, until he seems to find what he’s looking for because he hands the phone to you. You look over at him, confusion flooding through your features. Jungkook gives you a reassuring nod. “It’s okay.”
Still hesitant, you take the phone and look at the messages across the screen. It’s the texts from this morning.
Jennie (9:53AM): hey jungkook !! just thought I’d ask where you want to meet up before the wedding starts
Jennie (9:53AM): since we’re each other’s plus ones, I think we should show up together but idk let me know what you think
Jennie (9:53AM): I’m excited to see you again and catch up, it’s been so long !! :)
Jungkook (10:20AM): hey Jennie !! oh shit i totally forgot to let u know but i actually found a plus one :( i’m soooo sorry i should have told you earlier omg i feel terrible
Jennie (10:20AM): no worries jungkook !! who is it omg do I know them?
Jungkook (10:20AM): it’s actually Y/N? We all went to college together…
Jennie (10:20AM): OH!!!! wait isn’t she the one Irene was working with a lot for senior projects?
Jennie (10:20AM): OH HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO
Jennie (10:21AM): OKAY JUNGKOOK I SEE U
Jennie (10:21AM): she’s THE Y/N right???? the one u were in love with for our entire college career??
Jungkook (10:22AM): …… maybe?
Jennie (10:22AM): WOWOWOWOW good for u Jungkook !!! glad to see u finally having the balls to ask her out !!
Jungkook (10:22AM): OKAY THAT’S ENOUGH
Jungkook (10:23AM): I actually felt BAD for leaving you by yourself BUT NOT ANYMORE
Jennie (10:23AM): LMAO Jungkook I’m friends with Irene’s entire bridesmaid row i’ll be fine
Jennie (10:23AM): just go get ur dick wet!!!!!!
Jungkook (10:23AM): istg i will leave you on read
Jungkook (10:23AM): also that is NOT the point!!!!!! Just wanna love my new girl :(
Jennie (10:24AM): You’re gross
Jennie (10:24AM): but sounds good see you tonight!
You look up from Jungkook’s phone to see him watching you carefully, gauging your reaction, pleading for you to forgive him.
The only thought that can be translated into a coherent sentence comes out: “You were in love with me during college?”
Jungkook exhales in a laugh, his arms finding your waist once again. “I think ‘in love with’ was a bit of a stretch back then. I think you could agree that we didn’t know each other well enough before for me to say that.”
You’re still looking at him. “Back then…?” You echo.
He nods. “Back then.” He brings you closer, one hand moving up to gently brush at the skin of your cheek. “But it’s different now. Now, I can say with absolute certainty that I’m in love with you.”
Your lips part. “You’re in love with me?” The tears spring back into your eyes, but for a different reason entirely. The emotional rollercoaster you have just been on is unbelievable.
Jungkook’s eyes widen at the sight of your tears. “Oh shit, I’m sorry! Is that too fast? I’m sorry, I should have given you a warning or something. Or more time at least. Oh no, please don’t cry…”
You brush him off with a watery laugh, waving his concern away. “It’s okay Jungkook. This is fine, really.” You give him a smile. “I love you too. I really thought you were pulling my leg or something.”
Jungkook gives you his own small smile. “I’m sorry. I should have brought this up sooner about us being each other’s plus ones. Just because I assume something doesn’t mean it’s an established thing.” He brings you closer, his smile turning into a grin. “You love me too, huh?”
You giggle. You’re too strung out to come up with something witty or clever. “Yeah…”
Jungkook is still smiling, his gaze switching between your lips and your eyes. “I’m gonna kiss you now.”
You nod. “About time.”
He kisses you again, softly and sweetly, tongue slipping past the seam of your lips but it’s gentle caresses that make your heart feel like it’s crawling up your throat.
“OH MY GOD GET A ROOM!” A voice calls from the other side of the parking lot, forcing you and Jungkook to pull away. The pair of you look at each other and you start to laugh.
Jungkook kisses your forehead, sweeping down to your ear. “How about we check into our room and get ready?”
You giggle, nodding over at him. “That sounds good.”
So Jungkook leads the way, wrapping an arm around your shoulder as you gather your suitcases from the car and enter the lobby. You check in easily, as Jungkook is provided a map with directions on how to reach the room.
The pair of you don’t pull away once until Jungkook is sliding the key card into the door and pushing it open to reveal the bedroom you’ll be sharing for the night.
Both you and Jungkook park your suitcases near the foot of the bed, as per usual.
“Do you want to use the bathroom?” Jungkook offers.
You nod, smiling softly. “Okay.”
You gather the dress you’ve brought in your arms, about to enter the bathroom, before Jungkook’s voice stops you. “Hey,” He calls, approaching you and wrapping you in his arms again. He’s much more handsey this time, like he needs to make sure you’re not going to run away again, like you’re going to be okay. “You feel better now?” His thumb brushes your lips. “Your eyes are still a little red.”
You nod. “The makeup will probably help that,” You reassure in a soft voice.
Jungkook mirrors your movements. “Still, how about I get some ice for you so you can put something cold underneath your eyes… to stop the puffing.”
He looks genuinely concerned and worried for your wellbeing that you can’t help but smile. Since he is insisting, you decide to just let him be. “Okay, Jungkook.”
He smiles. “Okay! You start getting ready and I’ll get the ice, okay?” A quick kiss on your cheek before he’s bounding out of the door with the provided ice buckets.
Your eyes linger on the door for a few minutes before you’re turning back to your suitcase. The dress you have picked is a pink flowing floor-length number—something Karly helped you pick out before leaving. It’s soft enough that it doesn’t leave crease marks along the fabric, which had made this outfit perfect for the trip. You take the dress and your bag of makeup before entering the bathroom. You’re just slipping on the dress when you hear the hotel room door open and close.
“Okay, I got the ice!” Jungkook announces through the bathroom door. “Did you want to work on your eyes right now?”
“Sure,” You call back. “Do you mind zipping me up first?”
“Of course,” Jungkook returns, sounding distracting as you open the door to the bathroom. You peek your head through, noticing Jungkook opening his suitcase on the floor and sorting through it—probably for his own suit.
He must hear the door open, because he looks up towards you. Immediately, his eyes widen as he straightens up into a standing position. “O-Oh wow…” He’s looking you over up and down, up and down, as if he needs to commit this to memory. “Y-You look great. Beautiful.”
“Really?” You stammer back. “Thank you.”
Jungkook keeps his eyes on you as he approaches you. “You needed me to zip you up?”
“O-Oh right, yeah.” Hastily, you turn around, brushing the hair from your back to expose your undone zipper, and your bare back.
You think that he purposely grazes the tips of his fingers against your skin in his process of bringing the zipper up to the top of the fabric. You’re about to turn, thank him, but his hands back at your waist do the gesture for you. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. You look really pretty.”
You pout. “You’re being too nice to me.”
Jungkook whines, hugging you close to him. “You’re too cute.” He noses at your temple. “I just wanted to see you smile.” He pulls away after a moment. “Let’s take care of your face, yeah?” He turns around and returns with a small baggy full of ice. “Here, sit down for a second.” He leaves for a second, returning back with a towel. “Maybe… five minutes each eye. I don’t know. I’ll get ready while we’re waiting.”
So he takes his suit out from his case and disappears into the bathroom, leaving you alone with a towel of ice pressed against your eye. The cooling sensation definitely helps with the puffiness.
Jungkook appears from the bathroom a few minutes later—dressed in a black suit with a white button-down and a long skinny black tie. His hair has been fiddled with a little, but he still has that messy, boyish, lovable appearance that makes your heart race.
“Did you switch the towel?”
You nod.
“How do you feel?”
Slowly, you bring the towel down and rest it on your lap. You look at Jungkook. “How do I look?”
He leans forward towards you, holding your chin gently between his fingers. “You look better. Did you need to finish getting ready?”
“Yeah. I just need to touch up my makeup.”
“Okay, go ahead then.”
Jungkook takes the towel, and watches as you make your way back to the bathroom. You’re only gone for a few minutes before you’re emerging once more—eyeshadow a little darker, lashes a little closer, and lips slightly pinker, but overall still looking like the same version of the girl he fell in love with.
The pair of you drive to the wedding venue, a cute brick building with browns, greens, and whites surrounding. Guests already swarm the outside area, some of whom you recognize from college. The sight makes you nervous.
Jungkook sees this, and he reaches over to grab onto your hand. “You can just stick with me, okay?” He smiles. “I’ll protect you.”
You roll your eyes, but you are thankful to have Jungkook as your source of comfort and be that person you could run back to.
He parks and meets you at the front of his car, where you lace fingers and make your way towards the venue. You go through a small round of hellos and ‘nice to finally meet you’ conversations—most notably from Mingyu and Jennie, both of whom light up at the sight of your presence. Contrary to your previous worries, you find that you don’t really need to be so nervous. Mingyu and Jennie are friends of Jungkook’s for a reason—they radiate a relaxing nature that you can tell is what has drawn the three of them to each other.
They ask about you, your college experience, your current experience, passing easy conversation in the ceremony space right before the start of the wedding. It’s fun to see Jungkook joking around with the friends he grew up with, and even more fun to see how easy you are allowed into that world.
The actual wedding ceremony is a blur. You vaguely recognize the extremely attractive, excited, and watery-eyed version of Seokjin at the head of the aisle. You definitely recognize the equally as attractive, excited, and watery-eyed version of Irene, downed in white lace and looking much more beautiful than you ever remember her. Vows are exchanged, kisses are shared, there’s an applause, and pictures are taken before the guests are ushered into the main entry room—decked out with a bar and a few scattered seating areas. Jungkook whispers to you that guests are put here temporarily, as the ceremony space is being converted into a dining area.
True to Jungkook’s promise, he lingers by your side most of the night. Although you reassure him that you are fine, you are much more emotionally stable compared to a few hours ago, and that perhaps you are okay catching up with Nayeon—another girl from college, actually someone from the first party you ever attended who defended you when you were receiving unwanted attention—but Jungkook simply tells you that he likes being around you. He likes being able to put his arm around you, likes to rest his hand at your waist, likes people knowing that he has you.
It’s a few more minutes of conversation, of laughter, of old stories being exchanged between people you haven’t seen for years, when the guests are called back into the newly converted dining area. Instead of rows of chairs lined up, there are round tables filling the space. The long panel of doors once closed along the wall of the room have been opened—exposing a gazebo with a D.J. and a dance floor, all encircled by a string of big bright fairy lights.
You and Jungkook are situated at the same table as most of the guests you recognize from college. You assume this is purposefully done to give you all a common ground, and it works because conversations spring easily between you all. Even when you’re not talking about your experiences from university, you’re able to transition from topic to topic. You and Jungkook occasionally talk amongst yourselves as you’re eating, but you sit together and laugh together when Irene and Seokjin emerge and listen in during the wedding toasts.
Finally, Irene and Seokjin make their rounds through the room, stopping at the tables to cheer and laugh and exchange a few words of congratulations and conversation. Following this process, everyone at your table stands on their feet as Irene and Seokjin make their way towards you. There are bright smiles, Irene’s cheerful gasp as she takes in all the guests that have come to join her. She circles your table, hugging every guest, continuing this when she reaches you.
Irene grins at the sight of you. “Y/N! Oh my gosh, it’s been so long!”
“I know!” You return, pulling away from Irene. “Congratulations. This wedding is beautiful.”
She beams, absolutely radiating in her white dress and glittering makeup. “Thank you so much for coming! But oh my god, are the rumors true, did you really show up—!” She looks over your shoulder, and grins again. “Jungkook!” She hugs Jungkook. “I should be saying congratulations to the two of you. I was surprised to get the text from Jungkook saying that you guys were coming as each other’s dates. Gave me a whole pain because I had to switch some seats around at the last minute. But anything for my favorite people.” She turns to you and holds onto your arms. “Jungkook has had a crush on you for years, so you’re really doing him a huge favor.”
“Okay, enough,” Jungkook interrupts, scowling. But there is still that playful look in his eyes. “Did all your friends know about this? Jennie knew something was up too when I texted her.”
Irene presses her lips together. “Mingyu might have mentioned something.” She presses her hand to Jungkook’s cheek. “Stay safe, you guys. Hope you enjoy the rest of the night.” She moves onto her next guest.
Jungkook is groaning. “Remind me to never tell Mingyu anything ever again.” He glares at the boy from across the table. “Gonna fling some peanuts at that son of a bitch.”
You laugh, wrapping your arms around Jungkook’s waist. “Oh, let him be. It’s Irene’s wedding. You can get him tomorrow.”
Jungkook pouts, but he does wrap his own arm around your shoulder. “Ah, love my girl—promoting evil behavior after festive events.” He kisses your cheek as your table takes their seats once more.
The good natured atmosphere continues as you and Jungkook down your food, remaining fully engaged in the conversations happening around the table. After another hour of this, the DJ announces the start of the married couple’s first dance. Irene and Seokjin take to the dance floor and spin around, her white dress flowing around the room like light. Underneath the glow of the fairy lights, it looks like the couple is in an entirely new world. And you are so taken by it.
Jungkook does not turn to you until the DJ plays a slow song—a first slow song after a series of upbeat dance and pop genres. He jerks his head towards the dance floor. “You want to dance?”
You take his hand when he offers. “Of course.” He leads you across the room, towards the gazebo, where several other couples have moved to cling to one another. Jungkook pulls you in: one hand on your waist and the other with your own hand. “This is really nice,” You start off.
Jungkook laughs. “The wedding, or the dance?”
You smile over at him. “Both. Being able to slow dance with you, however, is marginally better.”
Jungkook is quiet for a little after that. He seems content just staring at your eyes, taking in the magic of this moment. “Thank you for coming with me,” He starts. “The whole road trip thing. Definitely would not have been as fun if I did all that by myself.”
“Well, thank you for inviting me,” You return. “Even though we had that big misunderstanding. I had a lot of fun.”
“Hey.” Jungkook angles his head a little so he can look at you in the eyes. “You know that I would never hurt you, right? You’re too important to me that I wouldn’t even think to pull some stupid shit like that again. You know that I love you too much to do that to you, right?”
“I do know now,” You say, gazing over at him. “And I love you too.”
You’re not usually an expressive person. But it’s worth saying those words just to see the grin that overtakes Jungkook’s face. It’s worth even more when he leans forward, kissing you openly in front of all his friends, nibbling gently at your bottom lip, running his tongue over the wound, and into your mouth. It’s worth it to have his fingers dusting sweetly over your skin, coaxing your mouth to open to allow exploration.
It feels like worlds pass before Jungkook pulls away, giving you that breathless smile dimple and all, before he’s leaning forward to bury his face into your neck.
“I think the drive home will be fun,” Jungkook mutters softly.
“Hm?” You hum, eyes closed as he presses tiny kisses along your neck.
“Most definitely,” Jungkook says, lifting himself just enough so that his lips hover over your ear lobe. “Because I plan on fucking you in every hotel bed for the rest of the trip.”
You feel your heart race, your cheeks heat. Yes, this was definitely worth it.
#jungkook scenarios#jungkook scenario#jungkook fluff#jungkook x y/n#jungkook angst#jungkook x reader#bts scenarios#bts x reader#bts fluff#bts imagines#bts angst#traci writes
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Yesterday Part 4
yall got every right to be mad at me. end of the semester was crazy, holidays were crazy and then i jumped right back into my job. BUT I have part 4 here!
And as always: PART 1, PART 2, PART 3
warnings: bad grammar, misspelled words, cursing, mentions of previous abuse
IF YOU ARE HAVING DOMESTIC ABUSE: National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233
words:
The next weeks were a blur of anxiety, sleepless nights and paranoia.
Your mind revolved around your ex. His black eyes always raking over you. The feeling of him kicking you in the alley behind the restaurant where you decided to leave him. You begging him to stop.
There were times where you forgot about him. You went about your day and thought of you and Roger. The tour happening. Planning on which cities you would visit.
Then something would take you out of it. A smell, a sound, a tone of voice from someone passing by and it all came rushing back. Your skin crawled at every thought of him. Even with Roger in bed, with his arm protectively wrapping around you- you would lie awake for hours and wonder if your ex was trying to find you. Roger and the boys had been especially diligent about keeping the paparazzi away from you over the past weeks. Roger nearly yelling at anyone who looked at you for a little too long or even tried to attempt to bring out a camera. It made your heart flutter seeing Roger all protective, but it sank just as fast when you remembered the reason why.
“(Y/N)?” Roger asked. It was morning, the sun was barely up and hidden behind thick gray clouds. You refused to tell him you’d been up for at least an hour, two at the most.
“Yes?”
“Nothing,” Roger mumbled before pushing his face into your neck. His warm breath making your hairs stand up and your body relax. He had been so good recently, not staying out too late, inviting you to band practice and being attentive, ordering food and going out whenever you needed something.
You hated it.
Well, not totally. Admittedly you liked the extra attention. Usually during an album you were getting less attention than his drumsticks. It was nice to see a different side of Roger.
But then again. You hated being paranoid. You hated putting Roger out in the middle of recording. You hated being scared to go out. You hated being scared. Secretly, as you would never ever admit this to Roger, but you wished your ex would find you already and hurt you- just enough to put him back in jail. It was an ugly thought that tainted your mind but, being scared just to go to the grocery was killing you. You missed a time when it was only paparazzi to watch out for instead of a man that beat you enough to break some bones.
It felt as if you were in your own personal horror movie. Walking around just waiting for the boogyman to jump and get ya.
You laid with bed with Roger steadily breathing beside you, one arm draped around you as protection from the world. With one breath you snuggled closer to Roger who pulled you in tighter. At least for the moment you allowed yourself to feel safe.
If only that safe feeling lasted.
It was a cold day when the world dropped from under your feet. You had convinced Roger to finally let you out of the apartment to go for a hair cut. Truthfully you hadn’t been keeping up with your usual hair routine and it showed. Split ends with lack of color made it look greasy and lifeless. No way you could go to the boys concert tonight looking like this!
The wet but crisp air was welcomed. After being shuttled around from place to place for the past couple of weeks, outside felt like a stranger and the air welcomed your presence. Your lungs relished in non-apartment air drenched in remnants of cigarette smoke or cologne Roger loved.
“You feeling good love?” Beatrice asked. She ran her fingers through your hair, and massaged your head. For a second you forgot where you were, always a sucker for a good head massage. “(Y/N)?”
“Oh yes!” you brought yourself out of the trance. “Better than I have. Thank you,”
Beatrice was an old and trusted friend of your from your university days. You weren’t the bestest of friends but she was a reliable one and a killer hair stylist. She could make a raccoon look like Cher.
“Oh love you should have come in weeks ago!” Beatrice fiddled with your hair. “This is absolutely dreadful- sorry darling,”
“No I know,” You admitted. “Can you help me?”
“Of course darling,” Beatrice smacked on her gum. “Might take longer than normal but you’re talking to the master,”
Beatrice went to work right away washing your hair. The next two hours were filled with mindless talking and laughs. Beatrice went on about her sisters tacky wedding and the silk bridesmaids dresses that resembled bubble gum. You told of you and Roger, how tour was starting up soon and they had a local gig just to break the routine. It was the first time you felt normal in weeks.
While the day to day wasn’t bad, the topic of your ex seemed to always linger in the background- just waiting to pounce. While you trusted Beatrice, you know bringing up your ex would welcome a flurry of questions you didn’t want to answer. For just a few hours, you wanted to be a Roger Taylor’s girlfriend getting your hair done. Not some girl who was assaulted by he ex.
“I think we’re about done sweetie,” Beatrice smiled wide between her purple lipstick.
You looked in the mirror and couldn’t help but smile. Beatrice had really outdone herself. Your hair gained it’s color back. It looked fresh and healthy. Beatrice had even styled it for tonight.
“Oh Bea,” you fluffed your hair. “I can’t thank you enough,”
“Roger Taylor’s girlfriend deserves the best!” she exclaimed.
After paying Beatrice and a couple more goodbyes you walked out the door feeling better than you had in weeks.
Then came his voice.
“Hey (Y/N),”
You froze. Keys in hand just about to open your car. Your blood ran from your face and immediately turned to ice. You turned to see him standing a few feet away. He looked worse than he did the last time you saw him in court. He had obviously gained weight. His beard was untidy and his hair was greasier than ever with streaks of gray sprinkling the sides. His snake-like eyes ran up and down your body, it was like a rusted knife threatening to pierce the skin.
“What no hug?” he pouted.
“You stay away from me Harrison,” you hissed. Blood pumped in your head so loud you couldn’t hear anything besides the words spoken between you and the guy who had beaten you so viciously you couldn’t remember some of that night.
“Common hon,”
“Don’t call me that,” you wedged a car key between your fingers just encase. “How- how,”
“How did I find you?” Harrison flashed his yellowed teeth. “Humans are creatures of habit. You always went to Beatrice before a big event and with Queen’s gig tonight- I knew it would be a big event for you,
Queen gig. He knew about you and Roger.
Of course he would you idiot. You’re on the front of every tabloid from here to tin-buck-too.
“You’re a real piece of shit you know that?” Anger took over. How dare this man come back into your life, a life you had overcome so much for, a life you loved with a man you loved.
“Harsh words coming from someone who was going to marry me,”
“I was manipulated into loving you. You hurt me. You belittled me. Then when I wanted to leave and said no to your proposal you beat me,”
“A little misunderstanding is all. I mean you could be a little over dramatic,” Harrison gas-lighted. “I lost my temper one time and you throw me in jail. Now how is that fair?”
“You hurt me. That’s not love.”
“And you think you have love now? With that Roger Taylor?” Harrison sneered. He said Roger’s name so grossly like he was thinking of something disgusting. “I mean common- I might have been a little angry but at least I never cheated on you,”
“Roger has never cheated on me,” You yelled as strong as you could. Before you and Roger got together you knew about his flings and girlfriends. Freddie had ranted about another one of Roger’s girlfriend’s flying off the handle after catching him in bed with another women. You knew about his past.
“I won’t do that to you,” he promised.
“How do I know that?” you weakly said. Roger had been asking you out consistently for the past 2 weeks.
“Because...” Roger stopped. “Is saying you’re different too cliche?”
You laughed hardily. “A little,”
“Then call me Romeo because it’s true,” Roger stepped so close you could smell the strawberries you too had shared while watching a movie. “I know I’m not the best man, I fuck up a lot, I’m impulsive, I’m stubborn, I’m-”
“Roger,”
“Oh yeah. But the one thing I’m not is someone who is going to hurt you. After seeing you in that hospital, seeing how someone who claimed to love you could hurt you that badly- well it made me never want to see another tear from your eye,”
You melted and agreed to start seeing Roger. It was a slow processes but worth it.
“So you ignore the magazines with him and a bunch of girls around him. Basically begging to be fucked by him,” Harrison shouted.
You had seen. It made your stomach turn but above all you trusted Roger.
“What you and I shared is a fraction of what Roger and I do.” You stood up straighter. “I’m going home now and if I ever see you near me or Roger again I’m going to call the police,” You quickly opened the car and started it. Your hands shaking so much you could barely hold on to the clutch.
Backing out Harrison peered into your window and with the radio blaring and a ringing in your ears you didn’t hear him say.
“See you tonight,”
Tagged: sorry if i forgot anyone i’m not the best at this
@alexfayer @marveley @mrsmazzello @frenchieswiftie http://leahluhve.tumblr.com/ @yasnooshka24 @anita-e-taylor @benhardycult @jennyggggrrr
#roger#roger taylor smut#roger taylor#Roger Taylor Queen#roger taylor imagine#roger taylor imagines#ben hardy#ben hardy imagines#ben hardy imagine#ben hardy smut#ben hardy x reader#ben hardy! roger#ben hardy! roger taylor#ben hardy!roger x reader#ben hardy!roger taylor angst#ben hardy! roger taylor imagine#Queen#queen band#queen smut#queen fanfic
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Admittedly, I’m Hard to See
Fandom: Beetlejuice the Musical Chapters: 8/? Pairing: Beetlejuice x OC (Holidae) The Players: Beetlejuice, Lydia Deetz, Holidae Bell Word Count: 1,741 Warnings: M for Language and Suggestive Content
Notes: GETTING SPICY.
Chapter 8: In Which Courtship is an Abstract Concept
The dynamic in the house started to change after the photograph was taken.
Holidae found the image of her seemingly floating in mid air quote “haunted as fuck”, but relented when Lydia declared her intentions to use it in her next art show. If Beetlejuice had any sort of opinion on the photograph, he kept it to himself, much more interested in the fact that Lydia seemed happy and willing to talk to him again.
The three housemates began a routine of sorts over the next few weeks: Lydia and Holidae would take care of the household chores, while BJ… really didn’t contribute anything besides the occasional prank and conversations during mealtime. He was given the important task of planning their weekly movie night, which he was extremely proud of himself for excellent choices in cinema.
Nine times out of ten he would choose The Exorcist.
Holidae, being rather unsubtle, avoided being alone with the ghost; taking great pains to make sure Lydia was always in the room, or just outright pretending she didn’t notice him when he caught her alone. It was a childish response, she knew, but that didn’t stop her from going along with her scheme.
Lydia spent most of her time preparing for the fall art show held in the next county over from Winter River, snapping candid shots during the evening hours throughout the house, or going out to shoot some more natural subjects. Until she had finished with her collections, Holidae was stuck in a bit of design limbo; unable to try and work up plans for her friend’s exhibit without knowing the theme of what Lydia was aiming for.
“You’ll know when it’s done,” Lydia told her one evening, packing up her camera to take on another visit to the local cemetery.
Holidae followed her into the front entryway, “Do you even know how big the space we need is going to be? Or how many photos this time? I can’t just… magic square footage. Let me come with you, at least; just to see what you’ve been shooting?”
Lydia shrugged, “Relax. I’ll be home soon, and I’ll show you what I have so far. Besides, you have Beej to keep you company. Why don’t you read that book you got the other day? One of those trashy things full of kissy faces and torn bodices?”
“Hey, they have a plot… sometimes.” Holidae waved her out the door, “Don’t get eaten by zombies, I don’t want to stuff bits of you into a casket. Too sticky.”
Lydia stuck her tongue out as she closed the door behind her, leaving Holidae alone - sort of - in the house for the time being. Beetlejuice hadn’t made an appearance since that morning over breakfast, but that didn’t stop the paranoia of him just… popping up when she least expected him to.
Dramatically throwing herself onto the living room sofa, Holidae pulled her book out from under a stack of paperwork on the coffee table, flipping it open to the page she had dogeared earlier. Sure, her taste in literature wasn’t always going to win a Pulitzer prize, but there was nothing more satisfying than just losing all thought in a steamy, badly written romance novel. She got herself comfortable, propping her head up with a pillow, and stretching her legs out on the soft couch cushions.
Holidae was so engrossed in her novel, that she failed to noticed the sudden weight that settled itself between her legs. Beetlejuice had noticed Lydia’s departure, taking it upon himself to find some entertainment with his other living roommate. He wasn’t oblivious to the fact that Holidae had been avoiding him since the roof incident; but whether it was because of the attempted murder, or the subsequent moment Lydia had caught them in afterward was hard to pinpoint.
Beetlejuice wrapped his arms around her midsection, resting his head by accident of course, on the cushion of her breasts. He could feel her tensing underneath him, shifting her position, but didn’t outright attempt to move him. She merely flipped another page of her book, lifting the novel a little higher so that he had room to lay his head down.
“Okay, really? You have an dead guy with his face in your tits and you’re just going to keep reading?” Beej headbutted her sternum with force. “Pay attention to me.”
Holidae thwapped him on top of his head with her book, “Shush. It’s just getting good. Besides, what could I possible do against you? I can’t move you, I don’t have any holy water to sprinkle on you, if I make a fuss you’ll just find some other way to annoy me… have I missed anything?”
He hummed, wiggling his body against hers, “No, that pretty much covers it.”
“See?” She flipped another page.
With a pout, he snatched the book out of her hands, adjusting his position so that he was straddling her hips. She tried to get it back, but he held it up above his head, shoving her back down on the sofa with his free hand.
“What is this… oh my god, this is why you’re ignoring me?” He laughed, showing off his mouthful of sharpened teeth. “Oh, we mustn't meet like this~ the scandal will be too great! She cried, throwing herself onto the chaise”
Holidae clawed at his jacket, trying to knock him off balance, “Give it back!”
In a puff of smoke, Beetlejuice was no longer sporting his favored suit, instead dressed in a striped black and white cotton shirt that was unbuttoned to the middle of his chest. A breeze somehow ruffled through his hair, adding to the dramatic effect. Holidae stuffed a pillow over her face, muffling the fit of giggles she burst into at his new appearance.
“Ah~ fair not, sweet dove, I have taken great pains to ensure we will not be discovered~” He reached down and took the pillow off her face, tossing it across the room. “It’s goddamn rude to not pay attention when someone is delivering this calibre of performance. Ahem. Now! I beg of thee, a simple kiss will not sustain me this night.”
Unable to contain herself, Holidae clutched her stomach in laughter, cackling at his theatrical display. She didn’t know why it was so funny to her; by all accounts it wasn’t the most unique humor, but something about him just set her off into a fit.
“Oh my God/Satan… I did it!” Beej stopped his recitation, tossing the book over his shoulder, and grabbing Holidae’s face with both hands. “I got you laughing. Geez, I didn’t think you had a sense of humor for a while, ya know? The whole uptight anxiety ball thing.”
She tried to pry herself out of his grasp, feeling his icy hands squish her cheeks, “Maybe you just aren’t funny most of the time. Let go, your hands are all dirty.”
“What? Dirty? Me? Excuse you, but I am not merely dirty. I am gross and proud. Look at me, baby; look at how gross. Really get in there up close and appreciate it.” He pulled her head closer, rubbing his scratchy beard stubble against her cheek. “Takes years of work. My morning beauty routine is legendary. Oh~ you’re warm. Nothing like a warm body sometimes, you know what I mean?”
“No no no. Stop. Don’t. I’m allergic to mold.” Holidae squirmed around, feeling his fluff of hair start to tickle her nose. “You want my lungs collapsing in on themselves? What are you going to tell Lyddy when she finds me puffy and dying? Get off.”
“Oh, I am definitely trying to do just that, Holiday Greetings,” Beetlejuice doubled his efforts, going so far as to lick a stripe of skin from her jaw to her ear, “You’ll be fine, that stuff hasn’t grown for years. You know what does grow? It’s my-”
“Don’t you dare. I mean it. You finish that sentence and I’ll kick you square in the crotch.” She managed to free one of her hands, covering his mouth with her palm. “Don’t test me, Juice.”
The demon gave a sharp bite against the flesh of her hand, causing her to yelp and move away, “My hair.”
Holidae had expected many inappropriate endings to his sentence. Most of them concerned the area she had threatened with violence just moments beforehand, but nothing prepared her for the sheer audacity of the response he actually gave. She had walked right into his joke, and proved that she was the one thinking unwholesome thoughts about his anatomy.
Beetlejuice 1, Holidae -100
Taking her silence in stride, Beetlejuice snapped his fingers, setting the two of them in a more comfortable position on the sofa, and changing back into his normal attire. Of course, his idea of comfortable was having Holidae perched on his lap with one hand pressing against her lower back, and the other holding her thigh… to balance. Didn’t want her to fall on the coffee table.
“Holli,” Beetlejuice tried to put on his best stern expression, “You were thinking I was going to say something naughty, weren’t you? For shame! What kind of influence are you having on my bestest best friend? What kind of upbringing did you have to think such thoughts about me? No, seriously, I want to find your parents and thank them.”
“You have my undivided attention, Lawrence, don’t waste it. Now, what can I do for you? Are you bored? I can get you one of my books to read. Or there’s a pack of cards in Lyddy’s room.” Holidae blinked slowly, reaching out and brushing a stray curl off of his forehead without much thought.
The reaction was instant.
Beetlejuice’s hand snapped up and grabbed Holidae’s wrist before she could pull away, and he stared at her intently. Small, thin strips of pink highlights started to run through his hair, swirling around in a mix of green and dark emerald. Unsure of what he was thinking, Holidae stayed still and quiet, not wanting a repeat of the last time he held her with such intensity.
He still held her fast, shrugging in a very trying-to-be-nonchalant-and-failing manner, “Nothing. Just didn’t want you to have any peace and quiet.”
She frowned, watching the pink continue to invade his hairline, “There were easier ways of doing that.”
“Yeah, but not as fun.” He pulled her dangerously close, almost touching noses with her.
For a moment, Holidae was swept into the sudden… whatever this moment was. Romance? Flirtation? …awkward social convention? Her eyes fluttered closed, and she leaned forward to close the distance…
…right before she was met with a face full of sofa cushion.
Beetlejuice had literally disappeared out from under her like a bad magic trick.
Writing Tags: @mr-geuse @paxenera @leiasolo77 @go-commander-kim @ashemspirit
#beetlejuice broadway#beetlejuice fanfiction#beetlejuice musical#beetlejuice the musical#beetlejuice x oc#beetlejuice x self insert#writing time
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“maybe so. maybe i’ll change my attitude when i’m not feelin’ so down like this anymore and i’ll tell myself if there’s a will, there’s a way. i can do it all on my own. and i’ll feel even prouder when it happens.” encouraging herself…there’s not enough usual fire alive right now inside her heart but if she wasn’t so gloomy, then she’d definitely be stating it with more sass towards him. since he dropped that mutual love for horses and that mutual love and care for other things BESIDES himself in general, she’ll do it on her own. “i know, it’d be wonderful.” to nurture animals and more children like joe and maude ivory, it’s mending for her soul from never getting that treatment from a father of her own. “not a career. just somethin’ i like to do for fun. i used to do that long time ago…post silly videos for fun from time to time. now i post song covers and sing my own songs for the internet to hear. it’s the only thing that i found comfort in.” after what happened. it used to be horses, but could that be comforting when all it did was remind her of him? “someone also asked how i put my makeup on, so i did a video on that. it’s just girly stuff, nothin’ all that interesting. maybe i will start putting vlogs on there to keep for memories and cause people seem to be interested in that too.” she rambles, thinking that’d be another good way to earn money from, taking a small bite of cake. “oh, i’m havin’ chocolate cake. but there’s none here for you.” she teasingly plays back, discreetly unintentionally flirting with him in return, getting another small bite before putting it away. “i don’t know…” her voice grew more quiet as she went over to get water out of the fridge, “i couldn’t believe the way you were actin’ and it sent my brain into paranoia overdrive and had me feelin’ insane. i felt like you were someone i didn’t recognize so my mind came up with the theory you did it all as a dare or you were just in a mood and it was easy to believe you were just tryin’ to use me. in that way.” she mumbled, because it was embarrassing to recall. “hm, well that’s good.” makin’ new friends, probably forgetting about her being his bestest friend, but hopefully that meant he would be forgetting about jesse too at least. “glad you are happier and getting to see new things and people.” she tried to say genuinely, but just ended up making herself look away in worry after turning from the fridge and her nose tingling at thinking about how all of their life here had just EASILY been forgotten.
"i want to, but i don't think that's something i can do by myself unfortunately." so she'll have to let that dream die in the wind, plus it's either she helps children or helps horses... sadly she couldn't juggle both without help. "and yeah, that's what i think would be so rewardin' about it..." her face gently lit up after so much sorrow and hurt across it. "i don't mind it." she shyly responded, knowing there's songs on there that are about him and she gets really emotional about in some of the videos she sings in. but, maybe he needs to listen to them. maybe he'd find what she was trying to say that day. then her mind wandered back off to those ideas... of how he'd just turned into every other guy she knew. seeing her only as something to touch and trying to use her for his first kiss or even more. "yep, i was convinced for a good while," she admitted, he had turn so opposite of what she used to know him as...it wasn't far off to think he'd turn slimy, too. "but since you're tellin' me opposite, i should believe you." the brunette decides, dropping ice cubes in the bag then closing the fridge back to press it to her cheek. that felt better. and maybe forking out a bite of chocolate cake would too.. as she opened the lid and plucked a fork out of the drawer to delve into the cake with. "i will, i'll just eat something first so it won't hurt my stomach." gently smiling at him looking out for her before it faded, wishing she could hug him. "i'm... not sure. maybe getting a lot of video comments, i guess. what about you?"
#river: ill help u do it lg🤭#oh he will be like ‘i got open space to take in 2 horses it will be just 2 but its something’#and lg will be like rly🥹 you’ll help me take care of some horses who need it?🥹#and he will be like yeah ofc#then they’ll take a pic w their rehab horsey and she will post it on ig explaining how he made her dreams come true#OHHHHH BURN#and then 🫢for the songs shes alrdy posted? MAYBE the stranger i used to know one?#maybe the x3 one too? 👀
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Feeling, lonely? Well not really I’ve met a lot of new people, but like lonely,,,,,, missing some of my comfort friends. Whom I’m still friends with thank you. Zane, raz, holly 🥺🥺🥺 Seth, Kyle, Amy 🥺🥺🥺🥺 rowannnnnn 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺.
Most comfort friends are irls, but Zane and raz are 2 top god tier level comfort friends, bestest of friends. Flew across the county almost 2 years ago to meet Zane.
Someday I’ll meet raz >:O and I’ll give them a hug and cry like a little bitch.
Been feeling better other than that impeding feeling of my never ending doom to come, and loneliness.
I’ve read a bit, which is super good for me, my depression gets in the way of keeping me motivated, so I’m proud of myself.
My dnd streams still get a average of 6 viewers every Thursday, which is good. Those days bring me pure seratonin.
Winter is coming soon, it’s the only season I love being outside for. I just like to disassociate in the snow for hours.
I ship my first rarepair... I don’t know how people cope, it’s Kayn x Yasuo from league, they just look nice together..
My paranoia is slowing down, haven’t gotten a hate anon in 2 days so that’s cool. I mean I get them regularly anyways, but it’s a nice tiny break to focus on my homework n such.
Trying to make sure I GET into Valhalla, that way I can just yknow let loose. It’s really good so far.
I have a care package on the way from a friend, she bought me a little Felix plush and I think I’m gonna cry when it gets here. No I know I’m gonna cry.
I want to hang up my McHanzo merch I’ve had for years and make more money. Been thinking about trading in some games for some cash, since holidays are coming.
Trying very hard not to get attached to any person that treats me nicely. It’s very hard after all the loss I’ve gone through. But I’m doing okay so far. Just holding on to who I have.
Been spending time with frank a lot. It brings me to a sense of nostalgia, we make jokes about being ex’s n stuff in league games, but it feels like playful banter and it feels nice. It does feel like home again.
Pushed away someone that had blocked me and unblocked me. I’ve never cared for patching things like that up in the past, so I prefer to keep it at a follower or a mutual at most. I don’t give second chances, nor do I ask for them usually.
Been a bit floaty, haven’t had as much energy as usual, don’t know if it’s my health or my mind state, but I’m trying to work through it.
I think that’s a good enough rambling blog post.
No one reads this shit anyways. I just log the times in a notepad to look for them later.
December will be my 2 years on tumblr haha. I joined right before the nsfw purge bc I wanted to see what chaos ensued.
Bye for now
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Just in case anyone was wondering where I’m at in the whole fowllplay vs mushu&dee debacle, my ten cents are under the cut. Posted here without tags or @s because im honestly just trying to communicate my own opinions on the matter, however i still recognize that im in no way actually involved with the situation.
After reading fowllplays entire post and reviewing all of their receipts for the drama, and after hearing about the other side of the matter from one of the parties involved, I’ve come to this conclusion.
Fowllplay has been constantly attacked by the fandom for hcing oswald as ace/gay. Notice, however, that nobody seems to actually be bothered by the gay part. Thru all the receipts, not once is anyone ruffled by his gayness. People are taking issue with him being ace and fowl basically raging in private any time anyone hcs him as anything else. To be fair, it is their private blog and these posts are not tagged, but, still, it’s hurtful to post mean shit about ppl you know will see it one way or another (which, despite all the blocks, you guys still roll in the same fandom and in the same circles of writers, it’s bound to happen). What I don’t understand is why people need to be so vocal about their disagreements. Who cares if some blog hcs Oswald as ace? Why pick that bone when you could be pissed off about the fact that fowl seems to think their oswald is the purest most canon and most bestest 100% a+ penguin out there (note the sarcasm).
The fact is that being aggressive over oswald being ace is acephobic and therefore shitty. BUT being shitty about oswald being bisexual or pansexual is????? ALSO BIGOTRY! whoaaaaa!!!! imagine that
bi and pan folks struggle to get their identities recognized as real. and you’ll notice that the prosecution actually doesnt have any receipts to show of dee and mushu saying anything besides untagged, private posts expressing their mild-mannered disagreements.
what strikes me as the most likely scenario is that, yeah, fowl sent jude some shitty anons recently because they seem to equate hcing oswald as anything but ace/gay as homophobia (?????????? how tho???????????). and now they’re throwing a tantrum bc the shit has finally hit the fan. either way, im no forensic computer scientist so i couldnt give the 100% about anything.
but it does seem shifty that right before/after these toxic anons are sent, fowl is making posts that express the exact same sentiments as the toxic anons. Occam's razor; it’s the most likely explanation.
that being said, i do think its shitty that they’ve been pushed to this point by other people in the fandom who can’t seem to live and let live when it comes to ace muses. i do happen to know, though, that jude and dee and i only ever discuss fowl when they go and send toxic anons to people we’re friends with. so whatever idea they seem to have about them “stalking their blogs” is pretty much paranoia garnished with a light layer of narcissism.
basically?
everyone sit the fuck down, stop talking to each other, stop talking about each other, and write ur dumb roleplays with ur dumb internet friends like the adults you are christ it’s not hard to just LIVE AND LET LIVE
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