#panicked thoughts tw

[rigormortisangel]

i hate PTSD every time an adult is mildly nice to me i start getting paranoid wondering when theyre gonna try to use it to fuck me

[thehyperfixationcorner]

Had a major and painful panic attack last night. Idk why. Just feel like shit, tight muscles and depression.

[medra-gonbites]

Congratulations

Happy birthday to me. Hope you enjoy this piece.

Pairing: Gale x Fem!Tav

Words: 1059

CW- Suicide, Angst, Hurt no Comfort

It was the best day of Gale’s life.

He had woken up early to his wife vomiting.

She had always been moody and cranky in the morning, but this was different. She had been sick for more than a week and he had tried his best to soothe her and nurse her back to health. As her situation did not improve, he had taken her to a cleric. The old woman was now standing right in front of them and after a thorough examination was categorical:

‘Six weeks. Maybe seven... Congratulations!’

The news rang in Gale’s ear. A wave of bewilderment crashing into him before leaving room for excitement. He was ecstatic.

Sure, he had doubted his paternal instincts in the past. When she had asked two years ago, they were on the run, an illithid tadpole in their respective brains, and a bomb in his chest. Now they were married, tadpole and orb-free and they loved each other so much.

He was scared senseless. About the coming challenges, the responsibilities, the sleepless nights, the chaos. But he also saw the love, the joy, the new path that was expanding suddenly in front of them. He adored Tav and he was so happy to be able to share that experience with her.

He turned to her, his gaze full of wonder and passion but he froze before her expression. Panic, anxiety, fear etched on her face. Tears running down silently, and her body shaking like a leaf.

This was not good.

Gale took her home. He wanted her to rest and to process the news. She needed to lay down and calm down and sleep. She needed time. Time to see how much of a blessing this was. To get confidence in herself, a trust she often cruelly missed when it came to her own abilities.

She kept rambling and fidgeting and panting. Spiraling into a state of despair and self loathing. She did not want this. She was not ready. She would break it. Make it broken as she was. Her state of despair was growing wild and untamed and so venomous Gale flinched at the idea he could not convince her otherwise.

He gently took her in his arms. Rocking back and forth, murmuring sweet words to her ear in an attempt to comfort her.

‘You will be a wonderful mother.’

‘You don't need to know what to do, you will learn. I will learn. We will learn together.’

‘You can do this. You will not break it.’

‘It will be wonderful. It will be healthy and happy. It will be perfect. Like you.’

But his words were useless. She was giving in to frenzy and hysteria as her mind raced to darker and darker corners, reigniting memories, reopening old wounds and just telling herself that she could not do this.

After a few hours of tears, she finally fell asleep, exhausted and still so scared. But she looked so peaceful as she slept and Gale wanted to do something for her. He headed to town to gather some of her favorite things. He wanted to cheer her up: as saddened by her reaction to the news, he was himself euphoric and he wanted her to be too. He wanted her to see how good this was. He was sure he could turn this day around. Show how much he loved her and how much he would like to have more of her around.

He got her favorite pastry. The scented candles she liked so much. The last tome of the book series she was currently reading. A little black thing which she would look wonderful in (and with no waistband too, so that she could wear it throughout her pregnancy…).

Gale came back a few hours later. The tower was dark and inexplicably cold. Anguish sank in the pit of his stomach; an unexplained apprehension taking over. He called her. She did not answer. He searched their home but she was not to be found.

Making his way to the kitchen he found a note. Written in cursive, hastily. He recognized her writing. His chest tightened as he read it. His heart aching, his mouth dry, his eyes burning. Disbelief hung heavy in his head, before being replaced by horror. Time stretched as he scanned those words. And he felt the urge to scream. To run to her. To magically erase these words and what they meant. To find her and hold her tight so she might never write, say or think this way.

Before he could take action and fix it all, like he still believed he could, a knock on the door sent a jolt of renewed panic into his core. A member of the Griffon Watch asked him to sit. And he cried and cried and cried when he was given the abominable news he did not want to believe. His heart shattered in millions of shards.

The letter remained on the kitchen floor, a silent apology from her.

“My love,

I'm sorry I am causing worry and ache. And I hope you can forgive me.

I would have been honoured to carry your child if I were anyone else. But I am me and as you know, it is something I have struggled with my whole life. I love you and I would see the world with more of you in it. But I wouldn't want more of me.

Every day, I fear when I wake up. Every night I fear when I go to sleep. I cannot fathom a future for myself as I do for you. I see you happy and thriving but I'm never at your side. I live in constant dread that you will wake from your dream, take these rose tinted glasses off and see that I am not special. Not important. Not loveable. That you'll realise that you can be happy without me. That something, someone, better is around the corner. For all your efforts, you could never convince me otherwise.

By the time you will be reading this I'll be gone. And you won't have to worry about me, care for me or carry me like you so often did.

I hope you can forgive me for the trouble I caused you.

Remember I love you more than anything.

I simply couldn't love myself…

Tav”

[ashersbraincell]

Dermatillomania + Anxiety(especially of the health kind, usually actually manifesting in health-related obsessions because OCD is so much fun) is such a fucking deadly combo

Because Anxiety increases picking. So you start to pick. And then it’s uneven. And now, your brain’s telling you you HAVE to finish what you started otherwise it will heal wrong the skin will grow back wrong you will get infected and it will be bumpy and stick up and just be like that forever

So, naturally you pick and you pick until uh oh! Pain! Redness! Light swelling! You’re infected! You like said appendage/body part? Haha well no more :3 It will most certainly get infected, and they’ll probably have to amputate! You hear me? You’ll loose it. You’ll loose it. You will wither and rot away and there’s nothing you can do about it. You won’t be able to do the things you love anymore. Because you’ll loose it. Can you feel the infection creeping up your veins? It’s spreading. It’s spreading. If you don’t check. If you don’t go to the ER, you might even loose more of the body part! You need to go get it checked. You need to go get it checked. YOU’RE GOING TO LOOSE IT. IT’S INFECTED. IT’S ROTTING.

[star-dust-shark]

My body keeps doing this thing were it starts having a panic attack and then just stops

Like nahhh I’m good

Too tired

[lucyvaleheart]

.

[thechaoticfanartist]

Not the best way I've woken up.

Luckily I was perfectly fine and due to the shock I was also very calm and didn't even feel the pain.

[cecilioque]

>> Comic Catalog

It wasn't a dimensional wormhole in the end. Shouldn't she be used to this by now?

Good thing Emmet knows a thing or two about panic/anxiety attacks. We all need a good friend like that.

Daki @anime-grimmy is very confused

[bog-dwelling-butch]

Working myself down from a huge panic attack because my abusive ex joined a discord server I'm in and *could have* found me...

I really hope she never finds me here

I really hope she never finds me irl

[ofmiceandbones]

But seriously, though, every time he looks at me, all I see is her face. Over and over and over again, and he's telling me that I am the only one for him.... and yet her body doesn't look remotely like mine. I am panicking to respond, pinching at fat in my mind, and on my legs. He is upset.

[colorfullyminded]

SunStone Angst Idea

Shared this with a friend, so I figured you guys would like to see it too. Thanks @sapphicdib for pulling me into Rain World.

Pebbles: I have depression

Suns: We all do, Pebbles

Pebbles: You have no clue how bad it is for me!!!

(Cuts to Suns learning about Pebbles' Rot, how they were the one who caused it-- how this is all their fault, and they have to stay emotionally detached because they're seen as one of the leaders. How they tried to reach out to Pebbles because they love him, but due to difficulties with communicating their thoughts-- Pebbles only futher pushed Suns away; until they were blocked out entirely, and their slugcat was hurt in the process)

(Cuts to Sun staring at their slug cat who has made it home but is still in critical condition and it's touch and go if SpearMaster will survive. They don't know if he'll lose another dear friend-- and if they do, it will once more be because of their doing)

(Suns realizing they've doomed the love of their life, and Moon, and has also hurt Sigs in the process-- they've literally failed everyone, and despite being the one who's supposed to be the strongest and know what to do--they has no clue what to do next)

(Finally cutting to Suns alone in their chamber, staring at the code to their Self-Destruction taboo)

"Believe me Pebbles, I, of all people understand."

[thethingything]

also shoutout to the hospital for sending us a bunch of PDFs with information about preparing for surgery and what to expect, except the information was all generic stuff where most of it does't actually apply to wisdom tooth removal, so I had a huge panic attack where I nearly threw up because a bunch of the stuff mentioned in there is extremely triggering for us, only to then find out that stuff literally doesn't apply anyway, but now I feel like I have even less of an idea of what to actually expect because it's so hard to figure out which information does apply

[i-am-a-fan]

The warriors last thoughts. A coward.

[nii-chans-rabiddogs]

Escape?

TWs: gun mention, choking, panic, blood. what happens after Promotion

@cupcakes-and-pain @maracujatangerine

As it turns out, focusing on not choking to death is harder than I thought. Get distracted a little too much and I forget how to breathe. The handcuffs are digging into my wrists again, and I’m not sure this is something I can get out of, and I’ll probably- No. I’m fine, we’re fine. This is fine. I can get out of this, I just need to think. Aren’t I already thinking though? No, back on track. I can’t just spit the damn gun out, but I can't just sit here and wait either. I could do without the drooling, but that requires getting rid of the gun, which… Fuck. Okay.

The pipes aren’t very helpful, in fact they’re the exact opposite. No wonder, and- Fucking hell, I forgot to breathe right again. If i could stop crying too that would be nice, it’s hard to figure out what i can do when everything is blurry. I feel bad for people who need glasses, cuz if they lose them- no, work on getting out, stop thinking about other stuff. 

It's been hours since Detective left, which… I don’t think he’d actually leave me to die, would he? He wouldn’t, he can’t just let me die, that’s- NO, no, don’t think about him, that's, we can open that when I’m not half dead. I don’t know how long it's been exactly, my only lightsource was the flickering LED light near the door, and the windows are boarded up, so the sun won’t help me. All warehouses are boarded up, which is why they’re so popular probably, but- damn it, this gun is making everything harder than it has to be.

Taking a deep breath is a little hard right now, so what can I do? There’s nothing near enough I could grab, and he cuffed them up so even if there was something right there the cuffs wouldn’t give me enough room to reach down. There’s- shit, there’s nothing I can do but wait and hope I don’t die. 

Detective will come back, though, he has to. He can’t, he wouldn’t just abandon me in here to- No. He said he’d be back, so he’s coming back, and maybe he’ll let me go, then I can… run, or something. He wouldn’t arrest me, not after everything he’s given to keep me alive. Right? He’ll let me go, then we can figure something out, and I can ask him what’s going on, and… No, that’s, he got mad at me for asking questions, so just don’t talk. But he never got mad before? 

I can’t- I need, I need to calm down, if i panic then I’ll start choking again and i can’t, it hurts and-It’s fine, I’m fine, I’m okay, he just got a little angry, detective doesn’t actually wanna hurt me. He’s just angry because of the promotion thing, he doesn’t hate me, it’s fine, he’ll let me go when he gets back. He will, I just, I need to calm down and breathe. It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have gotten so loud, I should’ve just left, and he’d still like me, i should’ve- Fuck, it hurts, my wrists are burning and probably bleeding and the gun is digging into the back of my throat and probably leaving bruises but its fine, I just need to stay. Calm. The detective will be back, and he’ll take everything off, and make it stop hurting like he always does… Right?

The door slammed open and I jerked, choking and panicking and- Breathe, breathe, you’re okay, you’re fine, it’s okay. It was just the wind, or the detective, there’s no need to be so scared, you’re fine. I tried to listen for anything, but all I could hear was my own ragged breathing. I tried to blink back a new round of tears at the lack of sounds, but I don’t know why Detective is like that, and my wrists and throat hurt and I’m so confused, and I don’t like this, please, I’ll- i’ll be quiet and good and, and-

“Hello?”

…What? That, that's not detective, but maybe they, they’ll help? But what if they hurt me? Or, or, or, they don’t like me? They’ll just leave me here, like, like… I sobbed, I can’t do this, I wanna go, it hurts and i'm tired and, and-

“Oh, hello there, little boy blue. In quite the predicament, I see. I don’t suppose you’d like to be released, hm?” 

I tried blinking to clear my vision, because there’s, there’s someone right there. They were standing next to the toolbox that hid me from the rest of the warehouse, a blur of black and gold and silver, and- wait. 

I nodded, hoping they knew what I meant, and they stalked closer, kneeling down to look me in the eye. I whined and looked at their mask, a whirl of gold and red and dark gray. They just stared, before reaching over and untying the rope holding the stupid fucking gun in my mouth. 

“What’s little boy blue doing out here, hm? This isn't the best place for children, you know.” He said, watching as I coughed and gasped for air. I tried to form words, but got distracted by my task of inhaling as much air as I could.

“I- fuck…” I whimpered, as the man grabbed my chin and shifted my head back and forth.

“That's certainly an interesting way to shut someone up, no? Good thing the safety was on, at least. What’s your name, little boy blue?” He prattled, smooth voice making it impossible to hear anything else. He commanded attention so loudly, with his colors and voice and-

“Um… Ghost, si-ir.”

“Ghost? How fascinating. What’s a little creature like you doing back here? Quite the dangerous place.”

“... I was- was with… the detective-”

“Oh? The detective? Adorable, you still trusting the law. Who put you here, Ghost?” He held my face still, and it started to feel like everything was swaying. I hope the handcuffs didn’t cut too deep. Oh, am I supposed to answer?

“The, the, um… Detective. He was- angry.” It hurt worse to talk than with the gun jammed in my throat, huh. That’s not good. 

“...The detective you were with, did this to you.” 

It wasn’t a question but I still nodded, trying to see past the tears and failing miserably. Again. I hope he’s not mad, I can’t handle anyone yelling right now. Actually, it was hard to hear what he was saying. I could see him talking but it felt like everything was spinning in a whirlpool around me. That’s not good. He glanced over at my hands, which I haven't been able to feel for a bit now, actually. He snapped one cuff off, then the other before saying something that got lost in the spin of colors and sounds. Oh, my hands don’t look good, that’s a lot of blood. I think I might be sick, everything is spinning so fast. 

The swirl of colors that made the man lifted me onto my feet, before I felt something prick the side of my neck. I hope I get some fucking chocolates after all this, I mumbled as the ground got startlingly close all of a sudden.

[tinybabyhalfghouldidnothingwrong]

Besties I'm craving cocaine pls send me help and good vibes

[rhysnolastname]