#palmer dodge

[stacys-mom-has-got-it-goin-on]

"She's beautiful... and I'm not 23."

[hitchell-mope]

Good film. Incredibly cheesy sometimes. But still. Good film.

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

GO THEN BUT KNOW YOU GO AS ONE BELOVED THOUGH YOU GO WITHOUT YOUR MIND

(GO THEN IF YOU MUST AND YET OF THIS BE SURE THAT MAD AS IS YOUR GOING DEARLY ARE YOU LOVED BY THOSE YOU LOVE)

[pedriache]

Hi! Would it be possible to request fluff with Cole Palmer, like a lazy morning in bed when he doesn't have training and then getting up to make breakfast together? I love your work sm

Mornings like this — Cole Palmer.

Pairing: Cole Palmer x Fem!Reader

Summary: You loved when Cole didn’t have training. It meant you got to have a normal day together, doing normal things like cook breakfast together without needing to rush.

Word count: 620+

Disclaimer/s: Fluffy + banter !

A/N: I’m finally going through my reqs heyyy

Sun seeping through your curtains had to be the most annoying thing. On Cole’s rare day off, you two liked to sleep in, but the sun had a vendetta against you, clearly. Your boyfriend shifted behind you with a groan, nuzzling his face into the nape of your neck.

“How many times do I have to beg you to get blackout curtains?” He grumbles, his voice raspy with sleep.

A small breath of laughter escapes your lips. “Baby, if you want them so bad, you can buy them.”

Cole’s eyes fluttered open, an amused grin on his lips when his eyes met yours. “Fine. Today, we go get them today.”

Shuffling around to face him, you nod in agreement. “Breakfast first though. Are we in the mood for anything specific? I would kill for Belgian waffles.”

“Do we have flour?” Cole quirks an eyebrow, “because if we do, then we can make some, but I want bacon.”

“Bacon and waffles is an odd combo, but i’m so down.” You sit up, stretching your arms and back. “Okay, I need to go to the bathroom first, i’ll meet you in the kitchen.”

The man nods, climbing out of bed alongside you. He goes to place a kiss on your lips, but you dodge him. “Oh.. we need to brush our teeth first.”

His lips purse and he has to suppress a groan, but nods in agreement anyways. So instead of making his way to the kitchen, he follows you to the bathroom.

After your morning routine was done and you both make your way into the kitchen, you begin preparing for breakfast cooking. You both move in slow motion, too tired to make a hasty breakfast like you usually would on his training days.

“Pass me the measuring cups?” You sigh, putting your hand out patiently.

Cole steps away from the stove where he was making his bacon to grab the cups. Handing them to you, he goes back to where he was previously.

Your phone was connected to a speaker, playing soft tunes while the two of you cooked. “Ay, can I have a drink?”

Your lips pull into a frown. You’d just poured the perfect cup of orange juice. Reluctantly, you hand your boyfriend the glass. “Don’t drink it all, Cole.” You point at his accusatorially, which he feigns offense at before taking two large gulps just in spite.

You gasp, resisting the urge to lunge at him. “Hey! What did I say? You’re such a—“

“Woah!” He laughs, “watch it!”

“A loving, kind, boyfriend.” You grit through a forced smile, “hand it over.” Your boyfriends laughter echoed throughout the kitchen as he hands you the now half empty cup.

Once breakfast had been made, you two sit down at the table across from each other. “So, we go get curtains at around one, and then stop at the new café down the road? I want to try it, your sister said it’s amazing.”

Cole hums, “after that can we stop by the mall? I want to get a new hoodie.”

“You have like—five thousand. Why do you need another?” Your lip curls into a teasing grin.

“Yeah, and so why is my closet empty? Oh, should we go take a peek in yours?” He shoots back. Your smug look falters. Well. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

“Oh, shut up.” You huff. “New hoodie, got it.”

The rest of the morning goes smoothly, both of you showering and getting ready for the day at a snails pace. You were grateful for his days off, they always made for the perfect lazy days. Plus, any extra time with Cole was time well spent, no matter how productive.

likes , comments , and reblog’s are all appreciated. lmk if you’d like to be tagged in any of my posts.

DTS , @halfwayhearted @spidybaby !

[countdowntotwinpeaks]

WONDERFULXSTRANGE - the prompts!

Here's the list of all 81 prompts submitted so far for this new, sleek, fest edition of wonderfulxstrange! Grab anything you like, make fic or art about it, and post it on February 24th, Twin Peaks day!

Prompting is open until the end of the event, so if you want to join the fun, head over HERE and add your own!

FULL RULES

Without further ado:

Laura working part time somewhere other than the diner—What would it look like for her to work at the hospital?? Or in the school?? Or at the station??

Laura, Donna, Bobby, James, Audrey, and Maddie on winter break, vacationing together as a friend group

Uncle Dick Tremayne hanging out with little man Wally Brando

Hutchenses family dinner (featuring Mr. C)

Mitchums family movie night (featuring the girls)

The phenomenology and temporality of key characters: how they are changed, how they are the same: 1992 and 2017 are linked. Is the cycle broken, or has it changed form? Can any of us break the cycle from within, or must it come from the outside? How do we know if we are inside or outside? What does change look like to someone who feels unchangeable?

olipeaksforever - Jeffrey Beaumont (Blue Velvet) & Laura Palmer having a surreal adventure

Klaasje Amandou (Disco Elysium) & Diane Evans girls night out

olipeaksforever - Annie Blackburn & Dale Cooper lodge dodge healing... Cute and sweet yet sad 🥹

olipeaksforever - Denise Bryson/Dale Cooper lodge dodge where dale isn't in Good State post lodge and denise is Worried

olipeaksforever - Smoker In The Balcony (Disco Elysium) & Dale Cooper meeting at Club Y

olipeaksforever - Albert Rosenfield/Dale Cooper growing old together... Fic or art I don't care just make it pretty 🥹

Harry Truman/Hank Jennings/Dale Cooper evil love triangle

Lucy Moran & Diane Evans getting coffee and talking about their favourite odd guys

michaeltillotson - Annie Blackburn during the events of Twin Peaks: The Return

michaeltillotson - Harold Smith working on his writing (art)

michaeltillotson - Josie Packard trapped in the Black Lodge (art)

michaeltillotson - Laura&Annie: Annie visiting Twin Peaks before joining the convent and interacting with Laura

michaeltillotson - Dale Cooper in the 80s, looking into Blue Rose cases related to aliens / abduction, or any of the cases from The Secret History of Twin Peaks (art)

The bizarre, surreal, cosmic horror politics of the lodge entities (and the humans they target)

Laura's intervention with the angels

Chet Desmond and Theresa Banks (not ship)

Laura and Cooper slip into the Twilight Zone and meet Rod Serling... who is narrating their predicament to his mysterious audience (also no ship fic)

Phillip Jeffries and the many downsides (and upsides) of being a teapot

What if Laura's doppleganger escaped too???

tildytwo — Cooper/Albert/Harry or Cooper&Albert&Harry — surviving chemo

tildytwo — Gordon & or / Albert — what happens after Gordon comes back

tildytwo — Gordon & or / Albert — post- season 2, how they got to the dynamic they have in The Return

tildytwo — Albert & Tammy — generation gap

tildytwo — Albert & Cooper — conflict of interest

tildytwo — Gordon/Albert — "Say please."

tildytwo — Albert & Laura — they never met, but he got to know her almost intimately

tildytwo — Albert & Margaret Lanterman — similar philosophies, but very different methodologies

Dale/(or &)Harry - fishing/camping/generally being in the woods

Denise & Audrey - doing badass agent stuff/Denise as a mentor

Log Lady - anything with her and the spooky elements of the town/surrounding forest

Donna/(or &)Laura - fic or art exploring their relationship more

Audrey - I'd be happy with an pretty artwork of her :)

the FBI agents solving another blue rose case (crossover or AU maybe?)

audrey becoming an FBI agent or a PI

laura palmer what would it look like for you to live

role swap! laura palmer and dale cooper

Albert and or Albert/Dale character study/introspective between Alberts departure in s1/return in season 2

Donna POV of laura through the years- jealousy?? closeted crush?? platonic love for her best friend??

Albert/Dale attempt at a normal romantic date and the dramatic twists and turns it takes...

Harry post Dale/Mr c leaving twin peaks

Laura having a nice time visiting Maddy/vice versa

Diane and Albert queening out (talking shit) on a smoke break or night out

Sam Stanley post Chet Desmond disappearance/leaving the FBI

Margaret & Laura at the Double-R Diner (no ship please!)

mycenaae - Donna/Laura, a reunion 25 years later

Donna & Shelly & Laura & Audrey - girls' night out (or girls' high school lunchtime hangout, ymmv! i just want to see them being friends <3)

Gordon Cole & The Blue Rose Team (Dale, Tammy, Albert) - working a case (no ship please!)

The Bookhouse Boys - what does downtime look like at the clubhouse?

mycenaae - Donna/Laura (or Donna & Laura), another picnic

mycenaae - Lucy/Andy as new parents!

mycenaae - Annie & Laura, meeting again (any context)

sheryllee - Sarah Palmer and Carl Rodd drinking black coffee in their ratty robes

sheryllee - Margaret & Hawk (any context)

sheryllee - Laura, Audrey, and Johnny at the Great Northern

sheryllee - Bobby and Laura at Jack Rabbit's palace

sheryllee - Laura and Sarah (and Maddy, if you want) - just regular, maybe a little psychic, family stuff

sheryllee - Donna and Gersten and Harriet - ALSO just normal family stuff

sheryllee - Laura and Norma planning Meals on Wheels

sheryllee - Audrey and Laura's ghost

Coop and his dad are so similar (new-agey, impulsive, etc.) and Dale dislikes/ignores that. Something about how they feel about each other, or parallels between them, how they both feel about his psychic bond with his mom, etc.

Omegaverse! The classic smut, or something that plays with the verse's weird gender and social rules. (+ breeding would be cute too but obviously optional) Any pairing but Harry/Coop & Albert/Coop are classics

Hank/Harry (NSFW?)- They really did like each other. Frustrated, intense, and maybe a little manipulative-- this would work well as pre-canon. (one of them being trans would be a very interesting addition to this one)

Audrey (& Donna?) - Religion in TP-- The Hornes canonically attend the same church as the Haywards. I'd like to see something about how Audrey feels about that, especially with the corruption/hypocrisy + her family. Just her feelings on the matter/her personal ideas of faith would be great, or bringing Donna in with the sister angle.

Denise/Cooper/Albert (NSFW) - Breeding kink: they lovingly make fun of Cooper for wanting to get knocked up. Then they knock him up. I just need that man in the family way ✋

Diane & Cooper (&/Albert?) - Playful and sincere affection! Flirting at work, falling asleep on couches together, fixing each other's makeup etc.

Hawk/Harry (+Cooper?) - Harry has an easy heart to break, and he's very easily led. It'd be a shame if a close friend (or two) were to protect him from the former and take romantic advantage of the latter.

Harry and Frank, masculinity and the idea of being a Good Cop. Turning a (willful?) blind eye to uncomfortable realities, be it repressed sexuality or atrocities being committed in and around town

laughingpineapple - character of your choice slips through the cracks of reality and ends up in the red room/in other worlds/on lonely highways/along a purple ocean. Laura&Coop optional but always welcome.

laughingpineapple - the opening credits wren. &Laura? &Margaret? &anyone. Just put that bird in the narrative.

laughingpineapple - Tammy&/Cynthia on a case! Like Mulder and Scully but worse!

laughingpineapple - Reddit informs me that the name "Diane" actually means the same as "Dale" in old English. Metaphysical hall of mirrors GO

laughingpineapple - Hawk&Albert gossiping or something, I need their snark to bounce off each other

laughingpineapple - Wally meeting someone who by all rights shouldn't be in this world anymore

laughingpineapple - Naido as her own character, a Lodge entity of sorts, a cocoon for those who were hurt too deeply

laughingpineapple - Albert&Phil. In the '80s? Teapot era? Your pick.

[on1occasionfork]

My works, both complete and in progress:

Series:

What the Cat Dragged In

But, soft!

Rating: M, 78k words, 31/31 chapters posted, Complete

Crowley's life is going well. He's got his shop, his friends, and a new flat with a balcony perfect for a few plants. That's when things start to get complicated.

Floating in a Most Peculiar Way

Rating: T, 4.1k words, 2/2 chapters posted, complete

Whether fifteen or fifty, Crowley's fate has always been written in the stars. A But, soft! prequel.

To Be Natural

Rating: T, 1.5k words, complete

A But, soft! prequel. “To be natural is such a very difficult pose to keep up.” - Oscar Wilde

Multi-chapter works:

Thus Saith the Lord

Rating: T, 53k words, 22/? chapters posted, updating once a week or thereabouts

They've averted Armageddon. Again. What's next for an angel, a demon, and the best car in the world? Setting out for parts (mostly) unknown. Along the way, they'll live in the present, revisit their past, and maybe, just maybe, discover what the future holds (hint: it's a cottage in the South Downs).

history, history

Rating: T, 5.5k words, 3/3 chapters posted, Complete

For a moment, a solitary moment, he thought it was the angel.

you can’t take the stars from me

Rating: M, 5k words, 1/? chapters posted, updating irregularly

When the job doesn't pay, you do what you need to survive, even if it means taking on passengers. As if he didn't already have his hands full keeping the ship in the air and dodging his crew's constant trysts. It wouldn't be polite to toss all the passengers out the airlock, right? Maybe just a couple of 'em? The boy is alright. And the Shepherd, well, Crowley's never been one for holy communion, but there's something about that fluffy hair and those stormy blue eyes that makes him want to kneel. He might even get the chance — if they can make it past Legion and the reavers. Good Omens/Firefly fusion AU.

One shots:

Our homeward steps were just as light

Rating: T, 7k words, Complete

Pepper welcomes a new resident Mr. A. Z. Fell to Whickber House, and he seems lovely. There’s one problem — the only free room is next to Anthony. Nursing Home AU

Picture It: Soho, 2020-something

Rating: M, 1.5k words, Complete

Sometimes the details of that fic you're reading seem a little too familiar.

to the beat of our hearts

Rating: T, 1.6k words, Complete

In a bookshop, an angel wakes and sleeps and dreams.

Wise As Serpents

Rating: G, 2.2k words, Complete

Aziraphale makes a few new friends while he waits for his oldest and dearest to return to him.

Gen Az

Rating: G, 1.5k words, Complete

Aziraphale makes an effort (not that kind of effort) to get with the times. It goes...poorly.

Thou Little Tiny Child

Rating: T, 6k words, complete

Aziraphale looks in on the birth of Jesus, only to find himself with an unexpected companion: Crawly. Angel and demon go their separate ways, but keep ending up in the same place — watching over a baby.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Rating: T, 2.5k words, complete

Aziraphale had always thought of the time between Christmas and New Year’s Day as a liminal space, half unreal for the waiting, as if the whole world were holding its breath.

But once every ten years, he has a hundred, a thousand places to be.

From the Hand of the Wicked

Rating: T, 6.2k words, complete

By the time they reach the crucifixion of Christ, Aziraphale realises that he has managed to meet Crowley at least once a century over the past seven hundred years. Sometimes it’s happenstance. Most of the time, it is decidedly not.

Poetry:

Still

Rating: T

A poem for the night.

To Have and To Hold

Rating: G, a GOetry Pillow Fight Poem

Aziraphale muses about his love while wrapped up at the bookshop.

An Elegy to Softness

Rating: M, a GOetry Pillow Fight Poem + Art

Aziraphale's lament.

(Un)Holy Palmers

Rating: G, a Goetry Pillow Fight Poem + Art

At what might be the end, Crowley muses on expressions of affection.

In Badness Spent

Rating: M, a Goetry Pillow Fight Poem

Some things can't be washed away.

[roobiedo]

oc-tober 2024 day 10 & 11: personality & symbolism/themes

the kids you probably need to worry about

more leftoverse babies! they're definitely opposites personality-wise, but they both also happen to have the most symbolic roles throughout the story i think? lets just say their journeys include pretty strong pseudo-religious allegories hh

—

first up is Mia, or registered alias 'Illumia', who will also go by the codename 'Chamialeon' (hence the symbol) during the... not so bright parts of her future career. Which is ironic, because glowing brightly is kind of her main thing! though due to light manipulation, she can also turn invisible, which is why the moniker stuck. she eventually also figures out how to temporarily siphon her target's powers (literally 'stealing their spotlight'), giving her another layer of camouflage.

Mia is high energy even in her broodiest moments (many such cases). among the main cast, she easily draws the most attention and speaks the loudest, even without ever using her voice! she has a wiiild arc as far as archetypes go, changing from spoiled princess to ruthless rebel to spiritual leader by the end of things. she would be a leia stan yeah

alsoooo that is not the actual cover image for 'It's My Turn Now' but there's no way im putting the d*sney logo anywhere near my art lol. i don't know who that man is. Sorry to miss palmer

also2 yeah mushrooms aren't flora my bad. sunflower then

—

next is Pepin, who usually goes by Piper (and Clyde calls him Pip sometimes). he's the forever baby of the group and my poor precious good boy who can do no wrong!!1! 🥺💚 ok that's not true, he always tries his best and has an empathetic soul, but life's hard when you're the unwilling Chosen One who has to constantly dodge prophecies and legacies while carrying the weight of the world on your tiny shoulders. he goes through sososo much :( i love him sososo much :(

Piper's a real laid-back, pacifist type that keeps getting bombarded by Stress and Duties. as such, he's no stranger to skipping classes/responsibilities to go chill somewhere hidden away from the world, which is usually in a forest due to his affinity with nature. many think his thing is controlling plants and healing, and it certainly looks that way, but more accurately its cellular regeneration control. a talent this impressive puts many targets on his back, but luckily he's in good hands until he decides his own destiny <3

—

no template version:

[heresiae]

Watching Twin Peaks for the first time

(and no, I'm not that young)

(obviously, spoilers)

That must be the worse television jock ever. Every other jerk jock is actually a saint in comparison.

Allright, why so many people loved Laura? Looks like there were only two kids that actually cared for here and the rest are adults.

That's my opinion eh, but Zabrinskie could have squeeze out some tears once in a while. Dry sorrow kind of looks like a pantomime. (I know I'll be stoned for this...).

Is there anyone in that town who isn't cheating on their partners?

How the heck did he find a pole that sturdy in the middle of a hotel room? Did he ask for it? Did he bring it with him? What kid of hotel is THAT?

Ok, Cooper is clearly under cocaine but he's in good company with the psychiatrist (which clearly is constantly under LSD).

I watched too many crimes to not cringe by the ineptitude of everything... be still my suspension of disbelief.

Why does it look like not even the 80s arrived in that town? Or the 70s...

There's no way that mill can sustain a town of over 51k. Also, if there actually are over 50k people in Twin Peaks I'm sure they could have find a less geriatric mayor. That sign hasn't clearly been update in a while.

Is anyone in that town able to choose a decent partner? Like, how could you not get psychopath vibes from them when they don't do anything to hide them?

Is Doc's family the only sane one?

Those must be the most polite television bikers ever.

Doc, you're a sweetheart, but what parent is so calm and understanding with a daughter that broke curfew the same day they found her BFF dead? It does explains though why your family is the only example of sane people in town (but not your daughter choice in boys).

Why the fuck are those three living together? Wife can't stand husband and SIL, SIL is having a (legit) affair with the sheriff, husband would probably live better by himself. They own the frigging mill, they can afford to live separate!

The Norwegians dodged a huge bullet and it's not because a serial killer camped there for a couple of days. That hotel owner is a creep. You don't get a daughter like that by being a decent person. She's clearly punishing you for something and I'm sure you're deserving it.

Is mill manager really expecting to gain something by helping hotel owner sabotaging the mill? Just because they have been having sex for years? Oh right, this is a Lynch tv show, can't expect clean cliches (but I'll wait for it...).

Oh yeah, more creepiness from the LSD doc.

I was expecting to see more weirdness at this point... it's only episode two and no BS yet. Just long sequences. Quite long. Be still my ADHD.

Oh wait, halfway of episode 3, here we go.

Let's check google to see if I actually have to take Cooper seriously. Oh, I have? Oooookay...

So, there is a person Donna cares for.

Good job autism, that hotel owner IS a creep. And the brother is probably worse.

I see that both the Palmer's actors can't cry on command (didn't they have a couple of onions around?). Or was making it look like a pantomime the point? Being Lynch this might have been the point...

Mrs Palmer, you don't get to ask your husband "What is going on in this house?!" at his first show of a breakdown when you were under sedatives since a couple of hour before and can't even see another teen for more than 30 second without hallucinating of your daughter.

Ah! Dream sequence. Now this is Lynch. Did they originally film it backward?

Oh yes, yes they did.

Did they do a crossover with X-files? Because Cooper and Mulder would have a field day together. Too bad Scully's eyes would have never be the same by the double amount of rolling.

Right. Dream you later with the next episodes.

[jeffreymeowmont]

Past the Peaks: A Series.

After facing their doppelgangers, Laura Palmer and Dale Cooper get out from the Black Lodge and face the consequences of such action. Meanwhile, some of the other Twin Peaks townsfolk decide to make something out of the revelation of the town's dark nature after the disappearence of Special Agent Dale Cooper and the now inexistent death of Laura Palmer.

Also known as "Past The Peaks", this is my post canon lodge dodge Twin Peaks au!  The folks at TP notice something is definitely wrong with the man that looks like Cooper so after interrogating him (with Albert), they put him back on the Black Lodge. The real Cooper comes out (having embraced his doppelganger and accepted himself for who he really is (not really) + helping Laura Palmer into doing the same thing, now that he can finally protect her) but he has all his wounds back so he's hospitalized immediately and is dead for a few minutes (in that period he meets again with his mother in an universe where she never died) until he comes back to life. Laura doesn't wake up in the Black Lodge but wakes up in Jacques's cabin instead, and meets up with Donna. Somehow, there was a timeline change (courtesy of Coop) that led to Laura's disappearence instead of her death. Laura gets her wounds cleaned by Donna and leaves the town with her, trying to figure out what to do next now that she's left her family for good.

WORKS:

Silver Moon Over Sleeping Steeples (Cooper centric): Dale Cooper has escaped the Black Lodge after embracing his doppelganger, but after BOB starts to possess him and try to turn him into the monster Dale never wanted to be, he must come to terms with his flaws and face his biggest fears to reclaim power over his own body again. This work contains descriptions of rape and suicide attempts among other things, so read at your own discretion. You can find it here on tumblr and in my ao3!

Since Yesterday (Laura centric): Laura Palmer lives, and BOB wants her more than ever. As she tries to start over with Donna, Laura will have to find a way to make BOB get out of her life forever. This fic is still not finished because I want to make Laura right as well as being careful with her, but it will be as graphic as Silver Moon when I publish it.

A Cigarette and a Silouhette (Audrey centric): After surviving the explosion, Audrey leaves the town with Johnny and lands a job on an up and coming production of a neo-noir horror film as the leading lady. After meeting screenwriter Trudy, Audrey gets visited by ghosts that linger on the velvet curtains. This fic is not finished.

Hanging On The Telephone (Diane and Denise centric): Replacing Cooper and Albert, Diane and Denise are now part of the Blue Rose task force. During their transfer, they get a mysterious phonecall. This fic is not finished.

Morning Sun (Annie centric): Annie Blackburn escapes the Black Lodge looking like a broken porcelain doll. Norma, Ed and Cooper help Annie get back on her feet. This fic is not written BUT I'm planning to make one for her because I love Annie <3

By This River (Cooper and Laura centric): Thirty five years later, Dale and Laura remember Twin Peaks. Link for ao3.

Under Stars (Cooper centric): The last time Dale had a good birthday, he got a letter. Fifty-years later, he gets a letter for his birthday. Link for ao3.

If you'd like, read them and tell me what you think via asks or leaving a comment on ao3 since I adore those kinds of messages! If you have any questions about my au, send an ask!

BTW: I am not fixing Twin Peaks canon by making this nor am I improving the show (because I already love it the way it is). This is a what-if that I've had since 2022 and that I've been improving!

[novelconcepts]

💕 taivan in a game / after an injury

💕 kissing somewhere other than lips

If Van Palmer had a dollar for every injury sustained in goal, she wouldn't need a scholarship to get out of this shithole town. Injuries are part and parcel, she'll tell anyone who asks. Injuries are even fun.

It's true--in the aftermath. After the body has healed, and all she has left is a bruise or a scar, and a story. The fun part is in reliving the narrative, not the pain.

The pain sucks pretty bad, all things considered.

She leans back against the wall, an ice pack held to her eye. Every so often, she has to remind herself to move it; the thing about catching a ball with your face is it tends to black both eyes. And bust up your nose. And fatten your lip.

"You're a fucking mess," Taissa says. "No more than ten minutes on that eye, remember."

"This ain't my first rodeo," Van says, though it's the worst injury she's sustained in quite some time. Getting bonked on the noggin is nothing. Stopping a corner kick with the bulk of her face is...worse.

She moves the pack dutifully to her right eye, resetting her internal clock. Ten minutes, and then her nose can have a turn. It's a great game of pin-the-ice-on-the-goalie, aiming, as always, to dodge frostbite.

"At least we won," says Tai. Van gives her a bleary grin.

"I'd have told people we won either way. It being true just makes this hardcore, instead of humiliating."

"It can be both," Tai says. She, too, is sitting against the wall. The rest of the team has long hit the showers, making loud noises about a post-game trip to Muriel's. Tai has every right to join them. She doesn't have a probable concussion.

"Hardcore," Van repeats. She lowers the ice, gingerly grazing her top lip with one finger. Yup. That'll make talking stupid for a few days. At least she didn't lose any fucking teeth. "Chicks dig hardcore."

"Do they," says Tai flatly, though her smile betrays her amusement. She's always like this when Van pokes her. Doesn't want to admit a goddamn thing, but no one would smile like that if Van were wrong.

"I'm told," she says thickly, "chicks dig goalies in particular. Since we are--"

"Concussed?"

"Awesome." Van dabs at her nose. No longer bleeding. That's nice. "Come on, you have to admit it was cool. Look at me, I'm a walking war hero."

Taissa does look at her. For the first time, she turns her shoulders off the wall and just: looks. Her eyes are inscrutable. She's still smiling, but it's faint, almost distracted.

"What?" Van asks suspiciously. "I know I look like a train hit me, but it was a cool train. I--hey, what are you doing?"

"Shh," Tai says, sounding more confident than she looks. She looks deeply terrified, one hand braced against Van's cheek. Terrified, and like she's made a decision she can't take back, and: hey. Here she comes, right into Van's personal bubble, her lips grazing just beneath Van's left eye.

Van closes on instinct, and receives a second kiss for her trouble, this time on the lid. Taissa shifts her angle, her mouth lingering lightly beneath Van's right eye next. Then the right lid. Then, bewilderingly, the tip of Van's nose.

"Not broken," Tai says softly. Van's eyes are still closed. She's a little afraid to pry them open, afraid the blurred image of Taissa Turner will vanish into hallucinatory smoke.

"Not broken," she breathes. "Just a little busted."

"Worth it?" Tai asks. Her hand falls away. Van's skin tingles where she's been kissed--both eyes, both cheeks, her nose. Her mouth is dry. She's grateful and miserable at the same time, that Tai hasn't kissed her there too.

"Yeah," she says. "Yeah. Super worth it."

Taissa hefts the ice pack and presses it firmly against Van's mouth. "Good. You're still a fucking mess."

Van grins.

[posttexasstressdisorder]

HARD ANSWER

The House Speaker said the 2024 race should not be “about personalities” but policy.

Maurício Alencar 

Freelance Reporter

Updated Oct. 20 2024 11:44AM EDT Published Oct. 20 2024 11:41AM EDT 

House Speaker Mike Johnson defended Donald Trump’s open admiration of genitalia belonging to the late American golf champion Arnold Palmer as being part of the “fun” he has at rallies.

The pro-Trump congressman also claimed in his interview on CNN’s State of the Union with Jake Tapper that the former president’s long rants were proof that his “stamina” was still strong.

In an opening question about the presidential race, Tapper referred to comments that Trump made hailing Palmer’s penis at a rally.

“You’re working hard to get Republicans over the line of this election,” Tapper said. “You’re talking about substantive issues. This is really the closing message you want voters to hear from Donald Trump’s stories about Arnold Palmer’s penis?”

“Well, listen, I think that the headline that I read about the rally in Pennsylvania yesterday was the big question,” Johnson replied, entirely avoiding Tapper’s question in a sign he was unable to speak about the thorny issue.

“Aand it’s the one that Kamala Harris has not been able or willing to answer, and that is, are you better off now than you were under the Trump administration four years ago? And no one can answer that question with a yes. I mean, no one. And that’s why Kamala Harris herself avoids the question.”

He continued by insisting that voters should instead “look at the record of these two candidates.”

“This shouldn’t be about personalities,” Johnson said. “It should be about policy, and I think people are looking at that seriously, and that’s why I think that’s we’re gonna win.”

Tapper, however, was determined not to let Johnson get away with dodging his pointed question.

“I’m sure that you think that a policy debate would be better than a personality debate, but if President Biden had gone on stage and spoke about the size of a pro golfer’s penis, I think you would be on this show right now saying you were shot in the hall, and you would suggest it was evidence of his cognitive decline,” Tapper said, justifying his line of questioning.

“I know you want to talk about policy, and I respect that, but the reason that Donald Trump is not up 10 points is because of comments like that one, where people do have concerns about his fitness, his acuity and his stability. Why is he talking about Arnold Palmer’s penis in front of Pennsylvania voters?

Instead of addressing Tapper’s points about Trump head-on, Johnson instead snarked, “Jake, you seem to like that line a lot.”

“Let me say something: I don’t want to be talking about, right? Donald Trump is out there saying it,” Tapper snapped back.

“I’ll address it,” Johnson retorted. “Okay, don’t say it again. We don’t have to say it. I get it. There’s lines in a rally. When President Trump’s is at a rally, sometimes he’ll speak for two straight hours. You’re questioning his stamina, his mental acuity. Joe Biden couldn’t do that for five minutes. That’s how you started this.”

Johnson went on to defend the comment by saying that Trump often slips crude jokes into his speeches.

“This is not working for the American people,” he said. “They want to change, and that’s what they see in Donald Trump. So he has fun at the rallies. He says things that are off the cuff. I’ve been in those events. I’ve been in those arenas, and people have a great time at those arenas. So you can cherry pick a, you know, a few words or lines out of a two hour event.

“We can do that with Kamala Harris after a 20 minute event, because she does word salads, and she couldn’t, she couldn’t hold court like that without a teleprompter,” he added.

Arnold Palmer, meanwhile, was reportedly “appalled” to have been the subject of Trump’s jokes in 2016 shortly before his death.

Maurício Alencar

Freelance Reporter

MauricioFCA_

mauriciofca@gmail.com

I swear this motherfucker must smell of sulfur...brimstone...he is Satan in human form. That smarmy half-smile smirk is just evil.

[hitchell-mope]

They made Palmer too nice and they made “Devlin Maccabee” too nice.

[new-berry]

What is the one football ship that is dearest to your heart? 🎤

I thought about this. And I have never had a OTP. I have fave players (or actors or characters) but I can be convinced about them with anyone.

Clearly Anthony Gordon is best with Tripps. Except the perfection that is Levi. Or how well it works with Frank! (For certain definitions of well, as in bad and tragic and borderline illegal).

But I do have a pairing that is dear to me. Okay so after Anthony fell off his bike he fronted to the media and was like “yep this is what I did” and, I don’t know if you saw the Gary Neville interview? The press LOVE talking to Anthony. He is obviously media trained. But he’s also confident and direct and doesn’t dodge the hard questions or give a half answer (doing an Eddie Howe if you will).

At the same time they were gushing over him (whilst saying GS won’t play him because he hates football and winning) they talked about the situation down interview Cole Palmer did. And it was “one of the quieter and more reserved players…” and that is an OTP the outgoing person and the reserved one.

But then mentor-mentee is like hands down the thing I will always read.

[gage0mate]

Donald Trump in breach of payment - Palmer Report

All of which is to say, the convicted felon Donald Trump is now an internationally acclaimed deadbeat. He’s no different than any parasitic bum who dodges child support payments. The numbers are just a little bigger, that’s all.

[reading-writing-revolution]

Republican voters lack a moral compass and critical thinking. They are floundering on a sea of confusion, fear, and deception led by Donald Trump, a murderous pirate intent on pillaging every shore to fill his coffers, while endangering his crew and passengers. His First Mates face mutiny, first Kevin McCarthy, and now Speaker Mike Johnson is waiting to walk the plank. Yet, they continue to defend their captain. In a constant state of disarray, dodging the Fata Morgana of immigration, abortion, and conspiracy theories, their ship veers toward rocky shores.

The compass is tilting - Palmer Report

[brookstonalmanac]

Holidays 8.7

Holidays

Aged Care Employee Day (Australia)

Assyrian Martyrs Day

Banana Day (Japan)

Bank Holiday Act Day (1871; UK)

Battle of Boyacá Day (Colombia)

Beach Party Day

DeviantArt Day

Dodge 807 Day

807 Giving Day

Freberg Day

Gaia Consciousness Day

Gallia Asteroid Day

Guru Rimpoche's Thungkar Tshechu (Sikkim, India)

Lock Day (French Republic)

Martyrs Day (Assyrian Community)

National Armed Forces Day (Bolivia)

National Day of Recognition for Aboriginal & Torres Strait Islander Health Workers & Practitioners (Australia)

National Handloom Day (India)

National Javelin Day (India)

National Lighthouse Day

National Marriage Equality Day

National NFT Day

National Psychiatric Technician Appreciation Day

National Report Health Care Fraud Day

Particularly Preposterous Packaging Day

Patient Appreciation Day

Postal Inspector Service Day

Professional Speakers Day

Purple Heart Day

Republic Day (Ivory Coast)

Say ‘Cheese’ Day

Sea Serpent Day

Take Last Winter's Snowballs Out of the Freezer and Have a Fight Day

Tasoua Hosseini (Iran)

Tightrope Walking Day

Tisha b'Av Bank Holiday (Israel)

Viking Pilgrimage (Spain)

Web Developer Appreciation Day

World Alternatives Games Day

World Lighthouse Day

World PVNH Disorder Awareness Day

Youth Day (Kiribati)

Food & Drink Celebrations

Pork Burger Day

Raspberries ’n Cream Day

Independence & Related Days

Cote d'Ivoire (a.k.a. Ivory Coast, from France, 1960)

Irish Reform Act (Passed; UK; 1832)

Ottawa (Became Capital; Canada; 1858)

Paperis (Declared; 2018) [unrecognized]

1st Wednesday in August

International Play Day (UK) [1st Wednesday]

IPA (International Play Association) Canada National PlayDay (Canada) [1st Wednesday]

National Professional Engineers Day [1st Wednesday]

National Psychiatric Technician Appreciation Day [Wednesday of 1st Full Week]

Regatta Day (Canada) [1st Wednesday]

Festivals Beginning August 7, 2024

Brown County Free Fair (New Ulm, Minnesota) [thru 8.11]

DeLeon Peach & Melon Festival & Tractor Pull (DeLeon, Texas) [thru 8.10]

Pea Harvest Festival (Palmer, Alaska) [Historically; 1920]

Lakefest (Eastnor, United Kingdom) [thru 8.11]

Locarno Film Festival (Locarno, Switzerland) [thru 8.17]

Medusa Festival (València, Spain) [thru 8.11]

Nevada County Fair (Nevada City, California) [thru 8.11]

Southdown Sheep Fair (Lewes, Sussex, England) [Historically]

Sziget Festival (Budapest, Hungary) [thru 8.12]

Taste of Andersonville (Andersonville, Chicago, Illinois)

West Point Sweet Corn Festival (West Point, Iowa) [thru 8.11]

Wikimania (Katowice, Poland) [thru 8.10]

Feast Days

Adonia (Honoring Adonis; Ancient Greece; Everyday Wicca)

Afra (Christian; Virgin Martyr)

Albert Kotin (Artology)

Albert of Trapani (Christian; Saint)

Betsy Byars (Writerism)

Breaking the Nile (Festival Honoring Hathor & All River Goddesses; Ancient Egypt)

Builth, the Footprint of Arthur’s Hound (Celtic Book of Days)

Cajetan of Thienna (Christian; Saint)

Carpophorus and companions (Christian; Saint)

Claudia (Christian; Matron)

Dometius of Persia (Christian; Saint)

Donatus of Arezzo (Christian; Saint)

Donatus of Besançon (Christian; Saint)

Donatus of Muenstereifel (Christian; Saint)

Emil Nolde (Artology)

Eugene the Hunting Dog (Muppetism)

Feast of 'Aut-Yeb (Personification of Female Joy; Egypt)

Feast of Cromn Dubh (Pre-Celtic God of the Harvest & the Underworld; Starza Pagan Book of Days)

Feast of the Name of Jesus (Christian, excluding Roman Catholic) [also 1.2]

Filseta (Ethiopian and Eritrean Orthodox Tewahedo Church)

Garrison Keillor (Writerism)

Harvest Holiday (Slavic Pagan)

Henri Le Sidaner (Artology)

Idi Amin Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)

Intergalactic Intercourse Day (Pastafarian)

International Beer Day (Pastafarian) [also 7.29]

John Mason Neale and Catherine Winkworth (Episcopal Church (USA))

Nantovinus (Christian; Saint)

Neith’s Day (Breaking of the Nile; Pagan)

Nikolai Triik (Artology)

Peter, Julian, and companions (Christian; Martyrs)

Rien Poortvliet (Artology)

Sixtus II, Pope (Christian; Saint)

Smartest Leprechaun Eisteddford (Shamanism)

Stan Freberg Day (Humorism)

Thomas à Kempis (Positivist; Saint)

Togrul Narimanbekov (Artology)

Victricius (Christian; Saint)

Lucky & Unlucky Days

Butsumetsu (仏滅 Japan) [Unlucky all day.]

Fortunate Day (Pagan) [30 of 53]

Umu Limnu (Evil Day; Babylonian Calendar; 36 of 60)

Premieres

All Out For ‘V’ (Terrytoons Cartoon; 1942)

Beach Party (Film; 1963)

Billy the Mountain, by Frank Zappa recorded live (Song; 1971)

Condorman (Film; 1981)

Dreamworks’ Dragons (Animated TV Series; 2012)

8701, by Usher (Album; 2001)

Fantastic Four (Film; 2015)

Farmer Al Falfa’s Ape Girl (Terrytoons Cartoon; 1932)

A Feather in His Collar (Disney Cartoon; 1946)

The Gallopin’ Gaucho (Ub Iwerks Disney Cartoon; 1928)

Half-Pint Pygmy (MGM Cartoon; 1948)

Heavy Metal (Animated Film; 1981)

I Can’t Get Started, recorded by Bunny Berigan (Song; 1937)

I Cover the Waterfront, recorded by Billie Holiday & Teddy Wilson (Song; 1941)

It Ain’t Me Babe, by The Turtles (Song; 1965)

Janie Get Your Gun (Woody Woodpecker Cartoon; 1965)

Jesus Christ Superstar (Film; 1973)

Julie & Julia (Film; 2009)

Just Another Band From L.A., by Frank Zappa and the Mothers if Invention (Album; 1970)

Lighthouse Keeping Blues (Chilly Willy Cartoon; 1964)

Lud-in-the-Mist, by Hope Mirrlees (Novel; 1926)

Lumpy Gravy, by Frank Zappa (Album; 1967)

New England Courant (Daily Newspaper; Boston, Massachusetts; 1721)

Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters (Film; 2013)

Porky’s Railroad (WB LT Cartoon; 1937)

Prehistoric Pink (Pink Panther Cartoon; 1968)

Satan’s Waitin’ (WB LT Cartoon; 1954)

Snuffy’s Party (Oswald the Lucky Rabbit Cartoon; 1939)

3:10 to Yuma (Film; 1957)

Til Tok, by Kesha (Song; 2009)

Unforgiven (Film; 1992)

Wanted For Murder (a.k.a. Paging the Saint), by Leslie Charteris (Short Stories; 1931) [Saint #7]

Weeds (TV Series; 2005)

We’re the Millers (Film; 2013)

Who’s That Girl (Film; 1987)

Yan Tan Tethera, by Harrison Birtwistle (Opera; 1986)

You’re a Sap, Mr. Jap (Fleischer/Famous Popeye Cartoon; 1942)

Today’s Name Days

Afra, Albert, Cajetan (Austria)

Albert, Donat, Kajetan, Siksto (Croatia)

Lada (Czech Republic)

Donatus (Denmark)

Hiljar, Hiljo, Vaido, Vaigo, Vaiko (Estonia)

Lahja (Finland)

Gaétan (France)

Afra, Albert, Cajetan, Dominikus (Germany)

Asterios, Astero, Astini, Nikanor (Greece)

Ibolya (Hungary)

Donato, Gaetano (Italy)

Alfrēds, Helara, Madars (Latvia)

Drąsutis, Jogilė, Kajetonas, Klaudija, Sikstas (Lithuania)

Didrik, Doris (Norway)

Albert, Alberta, Albertyna, Anna, Dobiemir, Donat, Donata, Doris, Dorota, Kajetan (Poland)

Štefánia (Slovakia)

Cayetano, Jordán, Sixto (Spain)

Denise, Dennis (Sweden)

Claude, Claudette, Claudia, Claudine, Donata, Donato, Donica, Donzel, Gladys (USA)

Today is Also…

Day of Year: Day 220 of 2024; 146 days remaining in the year

ISO: Day 3 of Week 32 of 2024

Celtic Tree Calendar: Coll (Hazel) [Day 5 of 28]

Chinese: Month 7 (Ren-Shen), Day 4 (Guy-Mao)

Chinese Year of the: Dragon 4722 (until January 29, 2025) [Wu-Chen]

Hebrew: 3 Av 5784

Islamic: 1 Safar 1446

J Cal: 10 Purple; Threesday [10 of 30]

Julian: 25 July 2024

Moon: 9%: Waxing Crescent

Positivist: 23 Dante (8th Month) [Thomas à Kempis]

Runic Half Month: Thorn (Defense) [Day 15 of 15]

Season: Summer (Day 49 of 94)

Week: 1st Full Week of August

Zodiac: Leo (Day 17 of 31)

Calendar Changes

Ṣafar [صَفَر] (Islamic Calendar) [Month 2 of 12] (Void Month)