#cole palmer x you

[planetpedri]

Hi! Would it be possible to request fluff with Cole Palmer, like a lazy morning in bed when he doesn't have training and then getting up to make breakfast together? I love your work sm

Mornings like this — Cole Palmer.

Pairing: Cole Palmer x Fem!Reader

Summary: You loved when Cole didn’t have training. It meant you got to have a normal day together, doing normal things like cook breakfast together without needing to rush.

Word count: 620+

Disclaimer/s: Fluffy + banter !

A/N: I’m finally going through my reqs heyyy

Sun seeping through your curtains had to be the most annoying thing. On Cole’s rare day off, you two liked to sleep in, but the sun had a vendetta against you, clearly. Your boyfriend shifted behind you with a groan, nuzzling his face into the nape of your neck.

“How many times do I have to beg you to get blackout curtains?” He grumbles, his voice raspy with sleep.

A small breath of laughter escapes your lips. “Baby, if you want them so bad, you can buy them.”

Cole’s eyes fluttered open, an amused grin on his lips when his eyes met yours. “Fine. Today, we go get them today.”

Shuffling around to face him, you nod in agreement. “Breakfast first though. Are we in the mood for anything specific? I would kill for Belgian waffles.”

“Do we have flour?” Cole quirks an eyebrow, “because if we do, then we can make some, but I want bacon.”

“Bacon and waffles is an odd combo, but i’m so down.” You sit up, stretching your arms and back. “Okay, I need to go to the bathroom first, i’ll meet you in the kitchen.”

The man nods, climbing out of bed alongside you. He goes to place a kiss on your lips, but you dodge him. “Oh.. we need to brush our teeth first.”

His lips purse and he has to suppress a groan, but nods in agreement anyways. So instead of making his way to the kitchen, he follows you to the bathroom.

After your morning routine was done and you both make your way into the kitchen, you begin preparing for breakfast cooking. You both move in slow motion, too tired to make a hasty breakfast like you usually would on his training days.

“Pass me the measuring cups?” You sigh, putting your hand out patiently.

Cole steps away from the stove where he was making his bacon to grab the cups. Handing them to you, he goes back to where he was previously.

Your phone was connected to a speaker, playing soft tunes while the two of you cooked. “Ay, can I have a drink?”

Your lips pull into a frown. You’d just poured the perfect cup of orange juice. Reluctantly, you hand your boyfriend the glass. “Don’t drink it all, Cole.” You point at his accusatorially, which he feigns offense at before taking two large gulps just in spite.

You gasp, resisting the urge to lunge at him. “Hey! What did I say? You’re such a—“

“Woah!” He laughs, “watch it!”

“A loving, kind, boyfriend.” You grit through a forced smile, “hand it over.” Your boyfriends laughter echoed throughout the kitchen as he hands you the now half empty cup.

Once breakfast had been made, you two sit down at the table across from each other. “So, we go get curtains at around one, and then stop at the new café down the road? I want to try it, your sister said it’s amazing.”

Cole hums, “after that can we stop by the mall? I want to get a new hoodie.”

“You have like—five thousand. Why do you need another?” Your lip curls into a teasing grin.

“Yeah, and so why is my closet empty? Oh, should we go take a peek in yours?” He shoots back. Your smug look falters. Well. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

“Oh, shut up.” You huff. “New hoodie, got it.”

The rest of the morning goes smoothly, both of you showering and getting ready for the day at a snails pace. You were grateful for his days off, they always made for the perfect lazy days. Plus, any extra time with Cole was time well spent, no matter how productive.

likes , comments , and reblog’s are all appreciated. lmk if you’d like to be tagged in any of my posts.

DTS , @halfwayhearted @spidybaby !

[footballerimaginess]

Interviewer

hi!! I saw your requests are open and I was hoping you could write a fic for Cole Palmer. Maybe one where reader goes to one of the euros games and celebrates with him after. Or maybe one where reader sports journalist/interviewer in a secret relationship with Cole and they have an interview together or something like that. Have a good day/ night! Word Count: 546 England were through to the final after a 2-1 win in the 90th minute against the Netherlands. Working as a sports journalist for BBC, you were lucky enough to be pitch side to interview the players.

"Hi" you whispered as you watched Cole walk towards you, he had the biggest smile on his face after he assisted the winning goal. The relationship was a year in and had moved to Chelsea with Cole, you had randomly met at a festival and clicked from there. You smiled as he stood in front of you with Ollie as you interviewed them. "Good luck boys" you gave your congratulations to the boys as you finished taking some photos and videos for your social media account. Once you had finished up pitch side, you headed upstairs in the lounge to go and edit everything., As you made your way down the tunnel, you heard someone shout your name as you span around and saw Cole running towards you. "Hey, what are you doing here? you are going to get caught" you laughed. "I don't care, people are going to know about us eventually. We can't hide us forever and I don't want to hide you, us" Cole smiled as he put a piece of hair behind your ear. "Oh yes okay, that makes sense. We need to still be careful though, I don't want you getting in any trouble being here though" you told Cole. "No babe it is fine, we are all seeing our families. So we are very much allowed to be down here. Nobody is here, what are you so afraid of? It is just me" Cole whispered as he pressed a kiss on your cheek. "I'm not afraid, I don't want to get caught but I feel like a naughty little school girl hiding away from my parents" you nervously giggled as you leaned in and kissed him on the lips. "COLEY, what? who do we have here?" you turned around and saw his team mates walking up the tunnel. "Shit" you muttered under your breath as you watched the boys walk towards you both. "Hmm so you aren't as single as you made out" Conor laughed. "Shh boys, nobody knows about us yet. This is y/n, she works for BBC doing all the interviews." Cole smiled, looking down at you as you met each other's eyes. "Oh right, really are we just hiding your relationship or you scared that people will find out" Marc said as you both nodded. "Well we were keeping it secret for a while, but I guess people can find out soon" you suggested. "Come on then" you nodded as you took Cole's hand as you headed back out onto the pitch as you felt all eyes were on you as you stood with Cole and his family. Luckily for you that you had already met his family a fair amount of times since being together, so you were grateful that you had someone that knew about you both. "This feels odd, us two" you muttered as you cuddled into him. "Ahh it is okay, nobody needs to know about anything. You are allowed to be up here with me so that is all okay?" Cole kissed your cheek gently.

[chelseajackarmy]

[captainreecejames]

Tale As Old As Time || My Ex is a Footballer OB38 Edition

links [masterlist] [my ex series masterlist]

summary you have a best friend and a boyfriend, too bad you're in love with the wrong one

pairings ex!cole palmer x reader, ollie bearman x reader

warnings cursing, hate to yn,

notes this was born because i realized that I hadn't written the classic friends to lover trope so here you guys go! also the next one will be george because I've had that one in the drafts forEVER so I want to get it out there for everyone!

july 2023

september 2023

liked by kimiantonelli, olliebearman and others

ynusername Ollie that's 3 wins this season!!! I'm so freaking proud of you but here's a reminder of what you looked like to keep you level headed

olliebearman did you really need to post that last one? ↳ ynusername yes bearboy

kimiantonelli 😃😃 ↳ ynusername be careful kimi

username1 ugh, i love their friendship! ↳ username2 yeah... friendship ↳ username1 she's got a boyfriend that's not Ollie ↳ username2 doesn't mean she isn't in love with ollie and playing with the new guys feelings

December 2023

ynusername posted a story -------

ynusername posted ------

liked by olliebearman, bsfinstagram and others

ynusername dates out with you

username11 so she goes out with ollie the night before and now her man... yn they could never make me like you ↳ username12 for real!!! that was clearly a date with ollie last night so she had to post with this mystery man

olliebearman does cole let you win like me? ↳ colepalmer nah mate ↳ colepalmer oh fuck ↳ olliebearman oh fuck ↳ ynusername you both are idiots

username13 COLE PALMER IS DATING YN LN????? ↳ username14 did not have that on my bingo card for 2023 ↳ username13 seriously does she go around collecting sports prodigies?

username15 wait, ollie lets her win in chess? (pouty face) ↳ username16 ollie bearman plays chess????? ↳ olliebearman only with yn ↳ ynusername and contrary to popular belief he only let me win once

username17 not ollie exposing yn and cole ↳ username18 and cole had to really back it up by commenting ↳ username17 if Ollie had just deleted his comment none of this would have happened and we'd still be speculating

january 2024

ynusername posted a story -----

march 2024

ynusername posted -------

liked by scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc and others

ynusername HOLY FUCKING SHIT YOUVE JUST HAD YOURR FIRAT FORMULA ONE RACE AND YOU SCORED POINTS! I'm so proud of you and this whirlwind of a weekend. Nowhere I'd rather be than supporting you here.

username20 oH MY GOD YN JUST ADMIT YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH HIM!! ↳ username21 that hand holding picture???? that is not just best friends i am sorry

olliebearman thank you so much for flying out on such short notice YN! ↳ ynusername you know i had to when you're dad called me!

charles_leclerc congrats again to ollie ↳ ynusername charles!! you were amazing as well

carlossainz55 where's my appreciation? ↳ ynusername thank you carlos for getting appendicitis and then needing it removed so ollie could make his f1 debut and also thank you for showing him around ↳ carlossainz55 you're welcome!

kimiantonelli well done to Ollie, and you yn for surviving that race ↳ ynusername it was hard but I had david with me to help ↳ kimiantonelli ahhh, love david

username22 she really flew out on saturday to be there? yn please

username23 need cole palmer to realize that she really doesn't care about him

June and July 2024

ynusername posted----

liked by premaracing, scuderiaferrari and others

ynusername monza!!!!! featuring some race winners and prema racing or one direction, couldn't be sure

username30 not yn being online enough to know about one direction prema racing>>>> ↳ ynusername i sent that tweet to ollie, it makes me laugh every time

username31 the hand heart??? yn we know what you are ↳ username32 yeah but also she loves charles so idc she can do no wrong now

username33 at least we know that her and cole aren't together anymore

username34 yn magnussen got a race ban!!! is ollie gonna take his seat? ↳ ynusername oh kmags, the fia is just silencing him cause he's too good

ynusername posted----

liked by haasf1team, nicohulkenberg and others

ynusername ollie once again I'm so proud of you! and back in the points as well! couldn't be prouder to call you my best friend and boyfriend

username40 WHAT THE FUCK WE GOT A OLLIEYN CONFIRMATION??

ynusername also you raced alongside lewis hamilton can you get me an autograph? username41 you know what?? she's part of cultLH and I'm gonna defend her forever now

ynusername shout out to kmags for the race ban but I'm gonna miss you next year

username42 OLLIE ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR GIRLFRIEND!!! olliebearman

olliebearman i love you yn, and I'll get you that lewis hat don't worry ynusername best fucking boyfriend ever

francolapinto LEWIS ↳ ynusername LEWIS!!!!! ↳ olliebearman LEWIS!!!!!!!!! ↳ username43 your honor i love them all

[judecole]

caught on film. cp20

pairing: you x cole palmer

summery: you’re a famous retired footballers daughter and have been dating cole for a few months. the media hasn’t caught on to your relationship just yet but your appearance at the euros final in a certain players shirt causes quite the stir.

word count: 2114

authors note: idk

THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION.

You’re not exactly sure what you did in your past life to end up here, in this beautiful grand hotel in central Berlin. Despite your luxurious lifestyle, being born with a silver spoon in your mouth and having everything you ever wanted, you never took a single thing for granted. The hotel foyer is vast and grand, great marble columns dwarfing everyone in sight and traditional historic paintings in huge gold frames hanging on every wall. It’s beautiful. You stay in these kinds of hotels regularly but they never cease to amaze you. Your family PA is checking you and your family into the hotel as the several concierges begin collecting your luggage. You smile warmly at them and thank them before the manager greets you to show you to your suites. As soon as you enter your room you lay flat out on the bed, exhausted from your day travelling. You’d been flying back and forth from the UK to Germany for the last month. Any major footballing tournaments were a big deal in your family, you’ve been to pretty much every one since you were born. You can remember being a small child, wearing a shirt with your father’s name and number on the back and feeling so proud every time he stepped on the pitch. However now, things were a bit different. Your family were now invited as special guests and given all the best treatment, a private box in the stands where members of staff would meet your every need. You did truly feel blessed and very appreciative for everything your parents had done for you and your siblings.

You pull your phone out from your trouser pocket and check for any messages. Nothing. You bite your lip and open up iMessage and clicking on Cole’s name. You had been dating Cole for about six months. Things were going very well for the two of you, your parents loved him, especially your dad who was amazed by his talent on the pitch. You’d initially met him when he played at Manchester City after being invited to watch an U21’s match. You loved his laid back style and calm manor when he was playing. You smile as you remember the first time you spoke to him, all sweaty after the game. You’d gone down with your dad to congratulate the boys on their win and chatted with them. You swear you’d fallen for him right then and there, not being able to get his stupid grin out of your head. You begin typing a message to him when your younger sister walked into your room, plopping herself next to you on the bed. “You texting Cole?” She asks, a smirk on her face. She loved to wind you up about your relationship with the football player, often saying that the pair of you made her feel sick. You roll your eyes before replying, “Yeah, I’m gonna see what he’s doing after training.” You type out the message, “I know ur probably training rn but what are u doing tonight? I wanna see youuuu.’

You place your phone down on the bed and lay back, resting your head on the soft pillows. “Are you nervous about tomorrow? I hope Cole gets to play.” Your sister says, actually not being mean or sarcastic for once. “Yeah. I hope he does too.” You hear your phone ding. Picking it up, Cole’s name flashes on the screen. ‘Defo getting an early night but i can see you in the afternoon. Love ya.’ You smile at the words. You know how serious he takes his job, but he never fails to make time for you too. You text him back quickly and lay back again, smiling. “You’re so in love with him it’s gross.” Your sister playfully hits your arm causing you to slap her back.

A few hours later you’re getting ready to head to the England Squads hotel, a little trip planned by your father’s management team that conveniently lined up with your plans to meet Cole that afternoon. Your mum comes in to your room as you’re putting on some makeup and compliments your outfit, a simple pair of jeans and a top that was sent to you by a company that no doubt cost more than a night in the hotel itself. You smile and thank her, pulling her into a gentle side hug as she kisses your head. Your mum was definitely surprised when you told her about your relationship with Cole. Given your previous dating history he would never had been your type. But there was just something about him that instantly pulled you in, you still don’t know what it was to this day but you weren’t complaining.

Arriving at the squads hotel you check your hair and makeup in a compact mirror, brushing a few stray hairs into place with your nails. Your sister rolls her eyes, something that had now become the norm and makes a comment under her breath you can’t really hear. You get out the car and are greeted by some of the staff who lead you in through the hotels modern entrance. The hotel looked more like a spa than a hotel, every piece of furniture placed exactly, in a way to promote relaxation. You follow through the entrance into a board room, filled with players, staff and other prolific footballing legends and their families. You scan the crowd, looking for Cole. It doesn’t take you long as you see your dad pulling him in for a hug and patting him on the back, obviously congratulating him on reaching the finals. You grin as lock eyes with him, quickly wrapping your arms around him. He places a kiss to the top of your head, surprising you. He wasn’t the biggest fan of PDA, even the smallest things like holding hands made him panic. Maybe it was the fact you were one of the most famous people in the world which constantly occurred to him but never to you. You noticed some eyes laying on the pair of you which made you release him. You quickly returned to your professional manner and wished him good luck before finding your mum. She nudges you and gives you a cheeky smile when you reach her. “You two are silly. Why does it matter if anyone finds out?” She says. “It’s not that. I want to be public with him but not now. I want him to focus on football and I don’t want the media circus for him right now.” You say and give her a small smile. “Well that’s very thoughtful of you but make sure you’re public before Christmas because I’m not editing him out of the Instagram pictures.” She wraps an arm round you as you approach more people and chat about the final tomorrow.

Later that night after an expensive dinner in a posh restaurant near the squads hotel, you text Cole and tell him you want to see him before he goes to bed. He replies almost immediately and you ask your driver to wait outside the hotel and that you were just going to take a quick walk. You could see his tall figure on approach which made you speed up, not wanting to waste any more time not having his arms around you. “Hey.” He says softly when you reach him, extending his arms out and enveloping you in them. “Hey.” You almost whisper. “Wanna go for a walk?” You nod your head and begin walking hand in hand. It was dark now but the city of Berlin was still bustling, what with the warm weather. You walk past busy restaurants and bars packed with what you could only assume were England fans based on the noise. Cole squeezes your hand every so often, he can feel his palms become clammy when you look up at him. He still couldn’t believe his luck. After the first time he met you he couldn’t get you out of his mind. He was glad you made the first move though, otherwise you probably wouldn’t have been in this position now. Once you reach somewhere quieter Cole lets go of your hand and wraps his arm around your shoulder, pressing a kiss to your temple at the same time. “Are you nervous about tomorrow?” You ask him. You almost knew what he was about to say, “Not really. You know me.” He cracks a smile.

“I hope Southgate plays you, Cold Palmer.” You joke and poke his side playfully. “Me too. Hopefully I’ll get some time.” You end up sitting on a bench overlooking a river, the hustle and bustle far behind you now. “It’s really pretty here.” You mutter. “Not as pretty as you.” He winks as you roll your eyes. You continue talking for a while before Cole regretfully tells you it’s getting late and he probably needs to head back now. He places a quick peck on your lips and stands up, offering you a hand. “I’m so excited for tomorrow. Are you gonna score a goal for me Palmer?” You tease as you approach the hotel. He shakes his head at you and smiles. When you return to the hotel entrance he turns to face you, you look up at him and he swears his heart starts beating a hundred times faster. “I’ll see you after the game, okay? I love you.” He places a soft kiss on your lips making you blush. “Good luck babe. I love you too. You’re gonna smash it.” You wave him goodbye and open the door of the car, getting in and thank your driver for waiting.

You wake up the next morning with a nervous feeling in your tummy. It sticks around for pretty much the whole day. You feel especially nervous when getting dressed. You grabbed your England shirt that you’d hung carefully in the hotel wardrobe and put it on, turning around in the mirror to see the back. You’d always wanted to wear his shirt to a game. You snap a quick picture and keep it for later, maybe to post on Instagram. You knew the absolute carnage that would take place when you did. You arrive at the Olympiastadion Berlin in your families usual fashion, through the back in all blacked out vehicles with staff waiting for you at the other end. The nerves had well and truly kicked in now. You check your phone to see if Cole had texted you. You knew he wouldn’t be nervous, very sure in himself and the team’s quality but you wanted him to text you to ease your nerves. Your dad shook the hands of the staff that greeted you and you thanked them as they took you all up to your private box. You were sharing with a few other well known people, you eagerly greeted them with big smiles.

(We all know how the game went so we’ll just leave it at that.)

A devastating loss for England. You were gutted. But also immensely proud of Cole. He’d been subbed on in the seventieth minute and scored only three minutes later. The only goal for England that game. You headed down to the pitch once everything had calmed down and spotted Cole in the stands with his family. His eyes were glassy with tears as he spoke to his dad. You approach slowly and he notices you, standing up immediately and wrapping you in a tight hug. You could hear the snapping of cameras behind you but neither of you cared in that moment. “I’m sorry baby.” You spoke quietly as you pulled away, cupping one side of his face with your hand. “You were amazing.” He sniffled slightly, trying not to cry in front of you but failing miserably as he pulled you in again. You rubbed his back reached up to kiss his cheek. His dad walked towards the both of you and pats Cole on the back before sitting with Cole’s mum. “I can’t believe we lost.” He reaches up to dry his eyes as you pout and rub his arm. You turn around slightly hearing his sister call your name. “Love your shirt.” He smirks a bit, it clearly cheering him up. He wraps his arm around your shoulder as you begin chatting with his sister.

You’re on your way back to your hotel when your phone begins to blow up. Story after story about your relationship with Cole, using the picture they clearly got when you were consoling him after the game. You save the picture, setting it as your lockscreen and then posting the picture of you in his shirt from earlier to your Instagram story.

[rafecameronsgirlfriend]

Smut about spoiling a smug cole after he scored a hat-trick

Hat-trick-cole palmer

Warnings: smut, porn w/out plot, unprotected sex. I think that's it but if there's more please let me know. I also don't like the ending at all so please don't judge me for it🙏🙏

First time actually publishing smut, so I'm sorry if it's not good or how you wanted it, but i hope you enjoy x

Cole lifts his head up off of the pillows and looks down to where you both connect and groans at the sight of a white ring around the bottom of his cock, made from a mixture of his and your cum. “So tight baby, shit taking me so fuckin’ well, your doing such a good job.” Hands tight around your hips, he bucks his hips up, tip grazing your g-spot prefectly, it was enough to make your eyes roll into your head and feel things no man has ever made you feel before. “C’mon, baby,” cole grits out, he felt like he could cum again just from the way your pussy was tightening around him like a vice.

“I’ve got you, baby.” coles words send a shiver down your spine, and you brace yourself on his broad shoulders. Your pussy flutters around him, “Fuck cole” you cry out. You wanted to spoil cole for playing so well on the pitch tonight and for scoring a hat trick but you didn't expect the night to go like this. After you told him that all you wanted to do tonight was to please him, he couldn't stop touching you. You thought one round would be enough to show how proud you were off him, but clearly not.

He leans forward to press a kiss to your forehead, then captures your lips with his. He swallows every moan you make as he begins to pound into you, only slowing down the slightest bit when you clench tighter around him. He genuinely didn't think you could get any tighter. Stars begin to cloud your vision, and the pleasure that you feel over takes every other feeling in your body.

You hear a string of cuss words leave his lips again. He drops his head back onto the pillows again and places his feet flat up on the bed. You let out a loud cry as he fucks back up into you faster than before, He’s speaking into your ear, but you cant register what hes saying as your orgasm begins to over cloud every sense in your body, leaving you shaking.

You drop your body down onto coles chest and let him continue to fuck up into you as your orgam overwashes you. You let out a small moan at the feeling of coles cum filling you up again for the second time tonight. You and cole just lay there catching your breaths before he begins to speak again, "you done such a good job baby, you feeling okay?" You can hear the slight concern in his voice.

Moving yourself up slowly being careful with his cock still buried inside of you, you look at him and smile,"I'm fine baby, that was perfect." You say throat sore from all of the moaning. You move yourself off of his chest and place yourself back on the bed, laying flat on your back.

You feel cole move closer towards you, he kisses your cheek before getting up off of the bed and making his way into the bathroom. You hear him start running a bath before returning back to your side to make sure you were still doing okay.

[cryptfile]

ᝰ FANDOMS I’M CURRENTLY WRITTING FOR:

those marked in colored letters are the ones i’m currently simping on. Feel free to send promps, requests of characters or anything honestly. Always nice to recieve a message! / This list will be updated regularly so you guys can know what i’m into, also, if I forgot someone.

THE BOYS

Billy Butcher, Soldier Boy, Victoria Neuman, Starlight/Annie January, The Deep, A-Train, Frenchie, Sister Sage, Queen Maeve, Firecracker, Homelander, Hughie Campbell, Kimiko.

GEN V

Cate Dunlap, Jordan Li, Sam and Luke Riordan, Marie Moreau, Emma Myers.

HOUSE OF THE DRAGON

Rhaenyra Targaryen, Daemon Targaryen, Alicent Hightower, Jacaerys Velaryon, Aemond Targaryen, Aegon Targaryen, Harwin Strong, Criston Cole.

MARVEL

Loki Laufeyson, Sylvie Laufeydottir, Moonknight x3, Hawkeye/Comic!Clint Barton [recasted as Oliver Jackson-Cohen], Yelena Belova, Kate Bishop, Scarlet Witch/Wanda Maximoff, Pietro Maximoff, Steve Rogers, Matt Murdock/Daredevil, Deadpool, Peter Parker/Spider-Man’s in general, X-Men’s in general, Thor Odinson, Carol Danvers, Tony Stark, Doctor Strange, Bucky Barnes, Fantastic Four, Adam Warlock, Ant Man, Druig, Natasha Romanoff, and more since there are too many characters, feel free to ask!

HARRY POTTER

Remus Lupin [marauders era, post I war, nothing weird], Sirius and Regulus Black [marauders!era], James Potter [usually recasted as Dev Patel], Draco Malfoy, Theodore Nott.

BRIDGERTON

Eloise Bridgerton, Anthony Bridgerton, Benedict Bridgerton, Colin Bridgerton, Francesca Bridgerton, Daphne Bridgerton, Simon Basset, King George.

THE BEAR

Carmy Berzatto, Sydney Adamu, Richie Jerimovich, Luca.

TWILIGHT

Carlisle Cullen, Charlie Swan, Bella Swan, Edward Cullen, Alice Cullen, Rosalie Hale, Emmett Cullen, Jasper Hale, Leah Clearwater, Alec and Jane Vulturi, Benjamin.

YELLOWJACKETS

Natalie Scatorccio, Jackie Taylor, Shauna Sadecki, Van Palmer, Lottie Matthews, Taissa Turner, Misty Quigley.

GRISHAVERSE

Nikolai Lantsov, Kaz Brekker, Alina Starkov, Matthias Helvar, Aleksander Morozova / The Darkling, Nina Zenik, Inej Ghafa, Malyen Oretsev, Zoya Nazyalenski.

DAISY JONES AND THE SIX

Daisy Jones, Karen Sirko, Billy Dunne, Warren Rhodes, Eddie Roundtree.

THE HUNGER GAMES

Peeta Mellark, Finnick Odair, Young!Haymitch Abernathy, Katniss Everdeen, Johanna Mason.

STAR WARS

Anakin Skywalker, Qimir / The Stranger, Kylo Ren [yes, I have a type], Shin Hati, Han Solo.

MISC

Rafe Cameron [OBX], James Beaufort [Maxton Hall], Drew Starkey, Dean and Sam Winchester [Supernatural], Aaron Taylor Johnson in most of his roles aka Kick-Ass or Bullet Train, Robin Buckley [Stranger Things], Steve Harrington [Stranger Things], Rick Flag [DC], Harley Queen [DC], Battinson [DC], Art Donaldson, Mike Faist, Nicholas Chavez.

[hexagon-club]

I'm going to try and put together a list of youtube channels of detransitioners. I'm going to try to include an archive of all these channels. Because I've seen quite a few channels like this disappear. I should add that this is not necessarily an endorsement of all the content on these channels or the political and religious views of these people. I've cast a pretty wide net here so there's a range of different personalities and beliefs. But I have tried to limit it to channels that actually talk about detransition rather than ones that just so happen to belong to people who have detransitioned. This isn't an exhaustive list, but I'm going to try to fit in as many channels as I can think of right now.

Female detransitioners:

Chloe Cole/ChoooCole:

Probably the most prominent detransitioner I can think of right now, or at least the most prominent one to have their own youtube channel.

KC Miller/Kacey Emerick/dyke_in_denial:

You might remember KC as that woman who Hasan Piker made fun of when she made her first video about detransitioning. More recently she was in the New York Times.

Alia:

Elle Palmer:

Jade Martin/jaderants/atreuz:

I think she uploads her newer videos to twitter/x and tiktok and not youtube. Still, here's her channel anyway. Jade almost died as a result of 3 years on hormones. If her twitter is anything to go by she is still dealing with health problems, even though she has been off HRT for a few years.

[shitsndgiggs]

please do literally anything with cole palmer i love ur writing!!

A LESSON IN SLANG - COLE PALMER

You learn english slang words by the one and only Cole Palmer

Cole Palmer x interviewer! reader

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿

As I stand in front of the camera, microphone in hand, I can’t help but feel a mix of excitement and nerves. I've already chatted with a few Chelsea players, and now it’s Cole's turn.

He strides into the frame with an easy confidence, his casual yet sharp style complementing his relaxed demeanor. His signature grin instantly puts me at ease.

"Alright, Cole, ready for this?" I ask, trying to sound as composed as I can.

"Born ready," he replies smoothly, leaning slightly towards me as if sharing a secret.

We dive into the usual questions—how he’s finding the season so far, any memorable moments on the pitch, and who he thinks has the best banter in the locker room.

The conversation flows effortlessly until he suddenly uses a phrase that makes me pause.

"Yeah, so we were having a right laugh, proper banter, and then the gaffer comes over, tells us to stop faffin' about," he says with a chuckle.

I blink, tilting my head slightly. “Wait, um… ‘faffin' about’?” I repeat, my eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

Cole’s grin widens, clearly enjoying my puzzled expression. “Oh, yeah, sorry. ‘Faffin' about’ just means messing around, not really doing anything productive.”

I nod slowly, trying to commit the new phrase to memory. “Got it. And what was the other one? ‘Gaffer’?”

“Ah, that’s just the boss or the coach,” he explains, his tone warm and patient.

I laugh softly, feeling a bit self-conscious about not knowing the terms. “I’m learning so much today.”

Cole chuckles, his eyes softening as he looks at me. “You’re cute, you know that? The way you get all curious and wide-eyed when you don’t know something. It’s like watching someone discover a whole new world.”

My cheeks flush at his words, and I quickly look down at my notes, trying to hide the smile tugging at my lips. “I just want to make sure I get everything right.”

“And you are,” he assures me, his voice sincere. “Plus, I’d be happy to explain anything you’re curious about.”

I glance up, meeting his gaze, and for a moment, the interview feels less like work and more like a casual, friendly conversation. “Thanks, Cole. I’ll keep that in mind.”

With a playful wink, he adds, “Anytime, love. Now, what else do you want to know?”

[sarahsmi13s]

Hesitation

(gif not mine)

pairing: jake ‘hangman’ seresin x fem pilot!reader (last name: abbott, call sign: medusa)

characters: jake seresin, reader, the dagger squad + maverick and warlock, leroy jethro gibbs, ziva david, timothy mcgee, anthony dinozzo junior, donald mallard (ducky), james palmer, abby scuito, secnav, male villian!oc - Cole Cooke

warnings: THIS FIC IS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, language, death, SA, torture, abuse (not by hangman), car accident (mentioned), vomiting, guns, canon violence, i’m sorry if i missed any, please let me know and I will add it to the list

word count: ~10.6k (i-i don’t know what to tell you)

a/n: the NCIS team will consist of Gibbs, McGee, DiNozzo, and Ziva (mainly because that’s the season i’m currently on) and the Dagger Squad is temporarily stationed at Oceana

like mentioned in the warning, this fic contains sensitive themes, reader discrection is advised

**********

The Gibbs Team looked at the plasma, looking over the military file displayed on it.

Tony crossed his arms over his chest and got closer to the screen, “She’s pretty, real pretty.” “She’s missing DiNozzo,” Gibbs said, walking into the bullpen with his coffee. “How did you-” Gibbs just stared at him. “Nevermind.”

McGee rolled his eyes before turning to the screen. “Lieutenant Y/N ‘Medusa’ Abbott was reported UA this morning by her captain, Captain Pete Mitchell.” Ziva spoke up, “She’s a Naval Aviator, graduated top of her class and has flown several high profile missions.” “She also was a TOP GUN graduate, graduating in the number one spot there as well,” Tony added.

“She got a backseater?” Gibbs asked. “Uh, no, not anymore,” Tim said, looking down at the ground. “Not anymore?” The image changed to one of a photo of Y/N and her backseater. “Lieutenant Jordan Winters was in a car accident in 2018. He was in a coma for a month, when he woke up the damage to his legs had been so severe that he was discharged,” Tony elaborated.

Gibbs nodded, “What about her wingman?” Ziva pressed the clicker, “Lieutenant Jacob Seresin, call sign ‘Hangman’; also graduated top of his class and graduated from TOP GUN in the number one slot.” Tony winced, “Wonder what he did to earn a call sign like that.” Ziva chuckled, “I can think of a few things.”

A smack sounded out in the bullpen.

Ziva and Tony rubbed the back of their heads. “Right, sorry boss.”

“We need to talk to her squadron, Captain Mitchell, and Admiral Bates,” he walked around his desk and grabbed his coffee. “DiNozzo, you’re with me.” “Gibbs, why are we looking into this? She’s only been UA a few hours, that’s not really enough to classify her as missing,” Ziva questioned. “My gut.”

As Gibbs and Tony got into the elevator, “McGee, I want a BOLO out for her vehicle.” “Yes, Boss.”

********

After flashing their badges to the gate they went into the training facility.

“How can I help you guys?” The secretary asked as he looked up from his computer. “Do you know where we can find Admiral Bates?” “He should be in his office, he’s expecting you.” Gibbs nodded and went down the hall.

He knocked and received a ‘come in’.

Gibbs walked in flashing his badge, “Admiral Bates? Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs, NCIS. This is Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo.” Warlock stood, “Glad you could make it here so soon. I know Captain Mitchell called it in, but he was ordered to start training as usual.” “Is he on the ground?” Warlock nodded, “Yes, as are the rest of the pilots. If you’ll follow me I can show you the way.”

As he led the way, they asked him questions. Like what Y/N was like, what her relationship was with her squad and her commanding officers. And Warlock had nothing but positive responses.

They entered the hangar seeing the pilots sitting casually, standing at attention when the Admiral entered the room.

“You may be seated.” Warlock gestured to the agents, “They are Special Agents Gibbs and DiNozzo. They’re from NCIS.”

Payback sat up with a furrowed brow, “NCIS? What happened?” Warlock sighed, “As you all know, Lieutenant Abbott did not report this morning. They’re here to ask you all some questions.”

Gibbs turned to Maverick, “Captain, I’d like to speak with you first.” “Of course, my office is this way.”

******

In Maverick’s office, Gibbs asked him questions about Y/N.

“You called this in very early, why?” Maverick sighed, “Med- Lieutenant Abbott, has never been UA and has barely ever called in sick. I’ve had to send her home a few times actually.” Tony nodded before asking his own question, “So, there is no possibility that she’s late?” “No, sir.”

Maverick sighed, “I just, I have this feeling that something’s very wrong. It’s in my gut, and my gut is usually right.” Tony and Gibbs shared a look, nodding.

“Is there anyone that might want to hurt her for any reason?” Tony asked. Pete shook his head, “Not that I know of. She’s loved by everyone on this squad and her past squads had nothing but nice things to say about her.” Gibbs sat up, “We need to personally talk with each of those pilots out there.” Mav nodded, “Of course, whatever you need.”

******

They spoke with Hangman first.

“What can you tell us about Lieutenant Abbott?” Gibbs asked. “She’s one of the best damn fighter pilots around. It’s an honor flying with her,” Jake answered honestly.

“You’ve flown with her for a while, nearly your whole career,” Tony pointed out. “Yes, sir. We were in another squadron together before being reassigned to this one.” Both nodded.

Gibbs glanced down at Y/N’s file. “She’s got a badass call sign. ‘Medusa’. Let me guess, you gave that to her?” Jake nodded, smiling at the memory, “I did.” “Why Medusa?” Jake chuckled, “Well, first she flies stone cold. If she ever gets hit on in a bar, the look she has could kill. She also loves mythology, it’s one of her hyperfixations.” He smiled as he remembered the last reason, “She’s got a sick Medusa tattoo on her thigh.”

Tony raised his brows, huffing in amusement.

Jake tensed at that, and Gibbs noticed, but didn’t mention it.

“You mentioned that she got hit on, do you think any of those guys would maybe try to hurt her because she rejected them?” DiNozzo asked. Hangman frowned a little, thinking, “No, most of them are usually drunk and just move on to the next girl.” “Were there any that didn’t move on?” He nodded, “A few, but they tend to move on when the rest of us size him up from across the room.”

“Has anything like that happened since you’ve been stationed here?” Gibbs asked. “No, mainly because she’s not too familiar with the area or the bars so she usually doesn’t go up to the bar alone.” “What about her stone cold stare?” Tony asked, a hint of mirth in his tone. “It still works, but some guys tend to take that as playing hard to get. So, one of us guys usually goes to the bar with her. If she needs to go to the bathroom, she goes with Phoenix or Halo.” They nodded, writing their notes down.

“What about her relationship with her backseater?” Jake chuckled, “Her and X-Ray are like brother and sister. She still visits him when she gets the chance.” Tony arched a quizzical eyebrow, “They’re still close?” He nodded, “The bond between pilot and wizzo is something else. When you’re in a plane together, your life rests entirely on the other person’s shoulders. They were a great team, I owe both of them my life.”

Gibbs nodded, “Seems like Lieutenant Abbott owes you her life as well. You’ve got two air-to-air kills, one of which was to save her life about 2 years ago.” Hangman nodded, “Yes sir. She was out of defense with no ammo, she had a bandit on her three o’clock.” “So, that’s when you swooped in and saved the day?” Tony asked, chuckling before cutting it off with a cough from a stare from Gibbs.

“Thank you Lieutenant Seresin, if we have more questions I need you to be available,” Gibbs said as they both stood. “Of course, sir,” Jake shook his hand, along with Tony’s before leaving.

********

The rest of the interviews went very similarly.

Everyone said basically the same thing. Medusa was never late, loved by every one of them, and had no known enemies. When at the bar no pursuers ever tried to follow her out.

While they didn’t get a lead to where she could be, they got an idea on who she is.

*******

As they drove back to NCIS, Gibbs’ phone rang.

“What ya got, McGee?” “Lieutenant Abbott’s vehicle was spotted in a ditch headed towards the air station. Sending the coordinates now,” McGee reports. “Ziva and I have already started that way.”

Tony nodded at Gibbs after checking his phone. Gibbs nodded back, “Okay, we’ll meet you and Ziva there.” He hung up and started driving to where Y/N’s car was spotted.

*******

They met up at the scene and began to process it.

“So, what are we looking at Boss?” DiNozzo asked as he photographed tire marks. “I’ll tell you when I know, DiNozzo.” “Right.”

Gibbs turned to Ducky, “Do you have a time of death, Ducky?” “Based on bruising, I’d say a day, maybe two.” They moved her body from the vehicle to the gurney to check her body temperature. “Her body temperature suggests the same.”

“How are we gonna tell the Dagger Squad?” Tony asked, watching Palmer wheel the gurney up to the truck. “How are we gonna tell her family?” “Her squadron is the only family she’s got, McGee,” Gibbs huffed and made his way back to the car.

*******

Jethro walked into autopsy, “You got a cause of death for me, Ducky?” Dr. Mallard went over to the x-rays, “Well, based on the bruising, and the position we found her in - Lieutenant Abbott died of asphyxiation. When she crashed into the tree, she was pinned by the steering wheel. Poor girl, her ribs were crushed and it could have taken hours for her to lose consciousness.” Gibbs turned to the autopsy table, walking over to the body on it.

He tilted his head as he looked at her face, squinting a little. “Did we get a positive ID on her?” “We found her ID, sir,” Palmer piped up. Gibbs just gave him a look before turning to Ducky, “Did we confirm that?” Ducky waved his finger, “I thought you were going to ask that, which is why I was going to suggest getting one of her colleagues to come up here to confirm.” “Why didn’t we just fingerprint her?”

Palmer came over, “We would have-” He turned her palm over, “Except she doesn’t have any.” Gibbs nodded, “Lieutenant Seresin mentioned she had a tattoo on her thigh. One of Medusa, said that’s how she got her call sign.”

Ducky nodded, “Ah! Yes, Medusa.” He moved the cloth of her leg, showing the tattoo there. “Beautiful work of art, truly.”

Gibbs’ phone rang, “Yeah Abbs?” “I think I’ve got something fishy with the Lieutenant’s car.” He nodded, “On my way.”

Ducky looked down at her body, “Call it a gut feeling my dear, but something about you just doesn’t line up.”

*******

Gibbs and Tony walked into the garage, “What you got Abby?”

The scientist popped up from behind the door. “Something that doesn’t line up.” He rose a brow, “And that is?” She enthusiastically waved him over.

“Look at the interior.” He did. “It’s covered in glass, Abbs.” “Exactly!” Tony laughed, “Abby, that’s normal for a crash.” Abby held up a finger, “But the lack of blood is not!”

Gibbs furrowed his brow and looked at the interior more closely.

There truly was not enough blood in that car for it to have been a proper crash. There was little blood on the air bag, the seat, the windows- anywhere blood would be, there was small amounts.

Gibbs looked at the crime scene photos, seeing the little amount of blood on her body.

“The lack of blood suggests-” “She was dead before the car hit the tree,” Gibbs said as he turned to walk to the elevator.

Abby quickly followed him, “Gibbs wait!” “What?” She smiled at his expectant expression. “I was checking the brake pedal and I found this,” she held up an evidence jar. He sighed and grabbed the jar, shaking it a little, “What is this?” She took it back, “I’m thinking it’s cinder block. I’m gonna run tests to be sure, and on the trace amounts of blood as well.”

Gibbs smiled, “Good work, Abby.”

*****

Gibbs walked into the squad room the next day, he really hadn’t left the building, going over every detail he could find on Lieutenant Abbott. Also staying for the autopsy of her body, learning that she had in fact died somewhere else two days prior to the day she was found. And results from the residue found in the floorboard were confirmed to be cinder block

He was still waiting on the results of the blood analysis.

As if on cue, his phone rang. “Gibbs.” “The blood results came back and you won’t believe-” That’s all he needed before he hung up and went to the elevator.

*******

Walking in with a Caf-POW, Gibbs went over to Abby at her lab computer.

“Tell me something, Abbs,” he said, sitting the drink down. “I can do better than that.”

She pulled up the blood test, both from the body and what she pulled off the airbag. “These blood samples don’t match.” Gibbs furrowed his brow, “So there was someone else in the car?” Abby shook her head, “Nope. This blood-” She held up a vile taken from the body. “Does not match this blood.” She held up the swab Ducky took from where Medusa’s nose bled. “When I ran a test on this swab, I couldn’t find a match. So, I requested this.”

Abby took a breath, allowing Gibbs to ask questions. “So whose blood is this?” “I’m glad you asked.” She pulled up another test, showing a positive match. “What is this?” “When I learned the blood pulled off the Lieutenant’s skin didn’t match what was taken out of her body, I ran what I found on the airbag against both. What was found on the airbag matches what was taken off her skin.”

Gibbs nodded, “Do we have any idea on whose blood that is?” “Not who,” Abby smirked, turning to her evidence table. “Animal?” “Nope.” Gibbs exhaled impatiently, “Then what is it, Abby?”

“Based on the theory we had about her being dead before the crash, I tested the blood for red dye. And I found that both samples, the ones taken from both the air bag and her skin, contained Red Dye 40.” “That’s food coloring.” Abby nodded, “Yup! The blood in the vehicle is fake. Our Lieutenant was murdered before the crash.” Gibbs kissed her cheek, “Good work, Abbs.”

*******

“McGee, go get Lieutenant Seresin. Bring him in for questioning, but don’t tell him why,” Gibbs said as he walked around his desk.

Tim stood up, “Uh, but do I get to know why we’re bringing him in?” Gibbs looked up at him, “Because Lieutenant Abbott was murdered.”

*****

Hangman sat in interrogation, toothpick in his mouth as he tapped on the table.

Gibbs walked in and Jake looked up, taking the pick out of his mouth. “Lieutenant Seresin,” Gibbs nodded to him. “Agent Gibbs,” Jake nodded back.

It was silent for a moment, Hangman waiting for the agent to speak.

“When did you last see Medusa, Hangman?” Gibbs looked up from the file on the table. “Sunday night, around 2200, sir.” “That’s late, you both weren’t in your dorms?” Jake shook his head, “No sir. The squad went out to the bar that night, sir. Y/N and I went to our rental on base at 2130.” “You lived together?” Hangman nodded, “Yes, sir. We’re dating, sir.”

Gibbs leaned on the table, “Dating?”

“Yes sir.” “Was this not an issue with you being in the same squadron?” “We were dating before joining the Navy, sir. Grew up together.” “And you aren’t married yet?” Jake exhaled through his nose, his jaw clenching a little.

Gibbs smirked a little as he watched Hangman’s eyes fall to the table. “What happened Sunday night? Did you and Y/N get into a fight that night?” Jake swallowed, looking Gibbs in the eye, “Yes sir.” “About what?”

“A girl at the bar had flirted with me-” “Did you flirt back?” Jake looked at Gibbs incredulously, “Of course not.” “Then why did you fight with Medusa?” Jake rubbed his face, “When I turned the girl down, she laid it on thicker. Y/N claimed her territory.” Gibbs nodded and began writing, “I assume you left after that?” He nodded, “Yes sir.”

“What happened when you got home, Lieutenant?” Jake sniffed and rubbed his nose, “Medusa was giving me the cold shoulder, which I’m not entirely surprised about. I tried to get her to talk and when she did, it escalated. And she asked me a question, one that I hesitated to answer.” “Was the question,” Gibbs played with his pen. “When you were gonna marry her?”

Hangman nodded, “Yes sir. She said she was tired of having to show ‘barrack bunnies’ that I’m taken. That if we were married, it’d stop them. I told her a ring doesn’t stop them, if anything they try harder… Then she asked if I ever planned on marrying her, and I hesitated.” “That’s when she left?” “Stormed out the door and left. I needed to talk about it, so I called my buddy Rooster and he came by. He stayed over because I wasn’t sure if Medusa was going to stay with Phoenix or not. She didn’t come home or show up on base.”

Gibbs cleared his throat, “She didn’t come home because she was in a car accident, ran off the road and smashed into a tree.”

He could see Jake’s heart plummet as the words left his mouth. “Is-is she okay?” Gibbs shook his head, hesitating to pull out the photos but laid them out anyway, “I’m sorry, Lieutenant. She was found dead in the driver’s seat.” Jake looked down at the photos and covered his mouth, “Is she here?” Gibbs nodded, “She’s in autopsy.” “Can I see her? Please?”

******

Tony and Ziva watched the interrogation through the glass.

“Do you think he’s telling the truth?” He asked, looking down at Ziva. “About seeing her Sunday night?” She looked up at DiNozzo, laughing a little, “Or that they were a couple?” He scoffed, “I know that’s a lie. Dating for nearly 15 years and they aren’t married, there’s no way.”

Ziva looked back and saw how torn up Jake looked. She sobered up, “I think he’s telling the truth. Gibbs does too.”

******

Gibbs took Jake to autopsy, “Ducky, I’ve got a second opinion to confirm Lieutenant Abbott’s ID.”

“Oh, who might this charming young man be?” Ducky asked, walking up to Jake. Hangman held his hand out, “Lieutenant Jake Seresin, you can call me Hangman.” Ducky smiled and shook his hand, “Doctor Mallard, everyone calls me Ducky.” Jake couldn’t help but chuckle, “I think you’d like my friend.” “Is he also a medical examiner?” Hangman shook his head, chuckling, “No, he’s also a bird.”

Gibbs smirked from behind his coffee, before following Ducky and Hangman.

“I must warn you, Lieutenant, the crash made matching her to her ID through facial recognition difficult.” Ducky pinched the cloth in his fingers, waiting for Jake’s confirmation that this is what he wanted. “Please, Doctor Mallard.”

Ducky moved the sheet, exposing her face. Jake inhaled sharply, hesitantly reaching out, pausing. “You may touch her, Jacob.” Jake ran his index finger along the side of her face. “Oh, Sugar… I’m so sorry..”

Both Ducky and Gibbs watch tears fill Jake’s eyes before he furrows his brows. “What’s wrong Jake?” Gibbs asked, tilting his chin up. “It’s just- Y/N has a scar. Right here,” Hangman used his pinky to trace a line from just below her cheek bone to a spot on her neck. “She got it last year. She tried to break up a bar fight and got grazed by a broken bottle.” “Are you sure it hasn’t faded?” Jake shook his head, pulling out his phone, finding a photo from Sunday night before the fight.

He gave it to Ducky, who zoomed in on the photo, seeing the scar in the exact place it was supposed to be.

“Can you show me her tattoos?” Gibbs arched a brow, “Tattoos?” He looked at Ducky, “Why didn’t you say she had more than one?” “Because we only had one to go off of.” Gibbs nodded, “Yeah, the important one!”

Jake arched a brow, looking between the two before Ducky smirked and turned back to him and lifted the sheet. Jake’s eyes scanned her body, matching every tattoo to the ones he had committed to memory. He shuddered, covering his mouth, “It’s her.”

Gibbs inhaled through his nose, shoulders rising a little before he exhaled. “Lieutenant, can anyone confirm that Lieutenant Abbott was at the bar on Sunday?” Jake’s eyes shot up to the marine, “I don’t understand, you said this was a car accident.” “Answer the question, Hangman.” Jake stood straight at the tone Gibbs had, “The Dagger Squad, or the bartender at the Siren’s Cave, sir.”

******

Ziva and Tony headed to the air station to talk to the squad and McGee went to the bar to get surveillance.

“Lieutenant Machado, can you confirm that Lieutenants Seresin and Abbott were at the Siren’s Cave Sunday night?” Ziva asked, sitting across from Coyote. “Yeah, Medusa beat me twice at 9-ball.”

“Lieutenant Bradshaw, Lieutenant Seresin said that he called you to come over after the fight he had with Lieutenant Abbott. Did you pass her on your way to their home?” Tony asked Rooster. “Yeah, she passed the bar as I was leaving.”

Tony called Gibbs to relay the information.

******

Gibbs opened the interrogation room door.

“Everyone confirmed seeing you both at the bar on Sunday night. Lieutenant Bradshaw confirmed that he saw her on his way to your house. You can go.” Jake stood up, “Can I get her tags, sir?” Gibbs nodded and jerked his head for Hangman to follow him.

They went down to Abby’s lab.

“Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs!” Abby came over, startling Jake a little. She paused, noticing him, “Hi, I’m Abby, forensic scientist.” He smiled, “Lieutenant Jake Seresin, friends call me Hangman.” “Oooh, a pilot- wait, you’re…” She trailed off as she realized who Jake was.

She hugged him, “Oh, I’m so sorry.” Jake glanced at Gibbs, who was smiling at him and shrugging, before hugging her back. “Thank you, Abby.”

When she pulled away she looked at Gibbs, waiting for him to speak. “If you’ve processed them, I need Lieutenant Abbott’s dog tags out of evidence and given to Lieutenant Seresin,” Gibbs told her. Abby frowned, “I’m sorry, I can’t do that.” Jake swallowed and nodded, “I understand if you need to keep them for any reason. I just-” “No!” Abby cut him off. “No, it’s not that I still need them. I don’t have them.” Jake tilted his head, “That can't be right, we never take them off.”

“Abby, I’ll be back. Lieutenant, I need to talk to you.” Gibbs ushered Jake out of Abby’s lab and to the elevator.

“Agent Gibbs, there’s something you’re not telling me. Was my wingman murdered?” Jake hissed as soon as the doors closed. Gibbs pressed the button for the squad room, sighing as he looked at Jake and stopped the elevator, “The body in autopsy is three days old. Y/N left your house on Sunday night.” Jake’s jaw slacked, “There’s a chance she’s alive?” Gibbs clenched his jaw, “Yeah. So I want to know who went through all the trouble to find a damn near perfect body double and replicate her tattoos to make it look like she died, and I wanna know why.”

******

Your head stayed down when the door opened.

“Oh come on, Y/N.” The cold metal of the blade under your chin made you raise your head. “There she is.”

*******

“Is there anyone in Y/N’s past that would want to hurt her?” Jake shook his head, chewing a toothpick as he paced through the squad room, “I don’t know.” “Come on, Hangman, think.” Jake clenched his jaw so hard he broke his toothpick, “I’m sorry if I can’t think of a single person that would have it out for the sweetest woman on the damn planet, Agent DiNozzo!”

Gibbs' phone rang, “Gibbs.” “I’ve got something!” He hung up and stood, “Abby’s lab now.”

Everyone, including Jake, went to Abby’s lab.

“Show me what you got Abbs.” She grinned at him and turned to her computer. “Just to be thorough, I found the Facebook pages of the tattoo shops Medusa got her tattoos at. I found the posts where she tagged them, and matched them with the photos taken in autopsy of her tattoos. And-” The team watched on the plasma as the photos layered over one another. “They don’t line up,” McGee finished for Abby.

“I also called the tattoo shops and learned they all use different ink. And all of the tattoos on our Jane Doe use the same ink.” “So this just further proves the fact that that body isn’t Lieutenant Abbott.” “Yes, but the fact it’s all the same ink means it’s easier to trace, Boss,” McGee spoke up.

Gibbs nodded and moved to leave, “Well, trace it McGee!” “I already did, Boss.” Gibbs stopped and turned, finding a smiling Probie.

He tossed his arms to the side, “Are you wanting a microphone?” Tim shook his head, “Sorry, Boss. First, Abby found the brand of ink, and then I was able to find where it’s sold. Turns out you can find it on Amazon, along with a tattoo machine. Ducky also noticed that, upon closer inspection, that the tattoos were in the healing stage. So I narrowed the search to purchases made two weeks ago and delivered to addresses in Virginia.”

McGee turned back to his computer, and everyone went to the plasma.

“Both were delivered to a: Hannah Nicholson.” Gibbs turned to Jake, “Lieutenant, does that name sound familiar to you?” Hangman shook his head, “No, never heard of her.”

Abby came up, “No, but you’ve seen her.” She clicked her remote and someone that looked similar to you was pulled up. “Hannah Nicholson is our Jane Doe.”

*******

You gritted your teeth as a slap was delivered to your face.

“When I’m done with you, your career will be over. You’ll never be in the sky again.” You laughed, like actually laughed, “You can’t be serious. Ruin my career? I’m a part of the best of the best, you could never keep me-” You grunted as he punched you in the gut.

The man squatted to be eye level with you, “Don’t get smart now, Y/N.” “Well, you could definitely benefit from getting smart. Don’t you think? You fake my death with a car accident and then send a video to NCIS of you with me, very much alive?” You arched a brow at him, “Not very smart-” He cut you off with a punch to the face, sending your chair, and you, to the floor.

*******

The next day while Jake was on base, he got an email sent to his phone. When he checked it and saw it was a video with you tied to a chair as a thumbnail.

“Maverick,” Jake didn’t hesitate to burst into his Captain’s office, not caring who may be in there. “Lieutenant-” “I need you to take me to NCIS.” (Jake was shaking too much to drive himself) Maverick stood, glancing at Warlock for a moment, “Why, Hangman?” Jake just turned his phone around and showed him the email.

Both Mav and Warlock looked at the phone. “Go, Captain, I’ll take over training for today.”

******

When they arrived, Jake had no hesitation to go right up to the squadroom.

“Lieutenant Seresin? What are you doing here?” McGee asked, being the first to see him. “Where’s Agent Gibbs?” Tony spun in his chair to get up, “Coffee run.”

He walked up to Hangman, “As senior field agent, I’d be more than happy to help.” Jake chuckled, tapping his palm with his phone, not really in the mood for putting up with Tony’s arrogance. “I’d prefer to speak to Agent Gibbs.” “Well, like I said, he’s not here. And I’m much better at-”

“At what, DiNozzo?” Gibbs said, standing next to the agent and the pilot as he sipped his coffee.

Tony stuttered to respond, making Jake smirk a little. “Have you ID’d the man Hannah met online?” “Not yet, boss.” “Then why are you standing here?” “Well, I was- uh- I was just- I’ll get right on that boss.”

Hangman and Maverick shared a look, before Gibbs spoke to them. “Lieutenant Seresin, I take it you have something for me?”

*******

“Well, you could definitely benefit from getting smart. Don’t you think? You fake my death with a car accident-”

“God, Medusa, stop talking…” Jake mumbled to himself. The group winced when you got punched in the face and your chair fell over.

Gibbs grunted a little, “Get this video to Abby. I want her to analyze every frame of that video. And who sent it to Lieutenant Seresin.” “On it, Boss,” McGee said, emailing it and then following his email.

Jake rubbed his face and sat down. He threw his head back and bit his lip. Maverick knelt down in front of him, “Hangman?”

Jake sniffed and looked down at his captain. “What is she thinkin’, Mav? Antagonizing him like that? That’s not how we were trained to handle situations like this.” “She’s not thinking, she’s just doing.” Jake scoffed, “As comforting as I assume that was supposed to be, it’s not even remotely easing my nerves.”

Ziva perked up, “Wait, what if she wasn’t taken because of the mission?” Tony nodded, “That would explain why she’s being so sassy. It’s not intel, it’s revenge”

*******

“Agent Gibbs!”

The crowd turned to the voice, seeing Director Vance upstairs. “SecNav would like to speak to you. MTAC now.”

As Gibbs made the stairs Vance noticed the two khaki uniforms in the squadroom, but simply nodded at them as they walked into MTAC.

“Agent Gibbs.” “Mister Secretary.” “One of the best naval aviators that just flew a high profile mission is missing. I was told you were on the case.” Gibbs nodded, “Yeah.” “Do you have any leads?” “No.” “Agent Gibbs, you do understand that if anything about that-” “He doesn’t care about the mission. He only cares about Lieutenant Abbott. It’s personal for him.” “So you know who he is?” Gibbs shook his head, “No, but based on the video sent to Lieutenant Seresin, he hasn’t asked any questions related to any mission.” SecNav nodded, “Okay. But Gibbs?” The marine raised a brow. “Get her back, the Navy needs her.”

*******

“You know, you ruined my life that day,” the masked man said as he played with his knife.

Your head lolled to the side, your exhaustion from the beatings taking a toll on you now. “What are you talking about?” “Do you not remember me?” He stood and you gritted your teeth as you forced your head up to look him in the eye. “Obviously not. Should I?” You winced as he pressed into a cut on your shoulder.

“Yeah, you should.” He pulled off his mask to reveal a face you haven’t seen since he got kicked out of the Academy.

“C-”

********

“Cole Cooke,” McGee said, pulling up Cooke’s old Naval Academy file. “Abby was able to find him because the email he used to send the video to Hangman, he used on an online dating site where he met Hannah.” Jake stood up, “Wait, Cooke?” The team parted to let him get a closer look. 

The pilot's face morphed into anger.

Anger that the marine recognized.

“What’d he do, Lieutenant?” Jake had fire in his eyes when he looked at Gibbs. “He sexually assaulted her and three other girls. Y/N’s the one that reported him.” Tim nodded, “And that’s what got him kicked out of the Naval Academy and blacklisted from the military.” “He wasn’t arrested?” Jake clenched his jaw, “He was, but he got out on good behavior.” 

Jake’s phone went off with a notification, an email to be more accurate. 

He dropped it onto McGee’s desk. “I don’t understand, why would he send these to me?” “You’re her boyfriend, Lieutenant, this can just be another form of revenge. He wants to get back at her for reporting him and, in turn, ruining his chances at a military career,” Ziva said, crossing her arms as McGee transferred the videos.

“He ruined his career all on his own, Agent David. Y/N just got a scumbag out of the service,” Jake huffed rubbing his forehead. “Nobody liked him, he was cocky. Always thought he was better than he is.” Tony chuckled, “Isn’t that the main trait of a naval aviator?” 

“They have something to back it up with, DiNozzo,” Gibbs said. “The only thing Cooke has to back him up is a record of being a dirtbag.” 

He looked at McGee, “Play it.”

You looked worse than before and Jake felt sick to his stomach. “Oh my god.” 

They watched him squat in front of you, twirling the knife he just cut you with in his hand. Jake’s jaw was clenched as he watched your head fall to the side as slow breaths made your chest move.

“You know, you ruined my life that day,” Cooke said. Your face scrunched in pain as you took a deep breath, “What are you talking about?” Cole stood and tipped your head back with a harsh grip on your chin, “Do you not remember me?” You scoffed, “Obviously not. Should I?” He moved the hand holding your chin to press into the cut he had just placed here, making you wince. “Yeah, you should,” he ripped his mask off.

The look on your face Jake had only seen one other time and it was when you came to his dorm crying.

********

The banging pulled Jake from his book.

“Hold your horses!” He pulled the door open, coming face to face with you crying and looking absolutely terrified. “Sugar what’s wrong?” 

Your hands were shaking as you showed him your knuckles, bruised and cut up.

“I-I didn’t want– I told him I had a boyfriend- Ja-ake,” you broke down outside his door. “Hey, hey, I got you. You’re safe now.” You swallowed, “Jake, I need to go to the superintendent-the dean-someone.” 

He pulled you into his room to get you out of the prying eyes of other midshipmen. “Why? I need you to-” He finally took in your appearance, you were wearing a disheveled USNA t-shirt and athletic shorts. Bruises were forming on your wrist and your eye and lip. “What the fuck happened to you?” 

“You remember last semester when those two girls dropped out for no reason?” He nodded, “Yeah, the two freshman girls right?” You nodded, swallowing another wave of tears away. “I found out why…” Jake searched your eyes, “Why, Y/N?”

*****

“Cole Cooke…”

Jake was brought back to the present by your voice.

Cole laughed, pushing your shoulder, “That’s right, Y/N. Cole Cooke, the man’s who military career you ruined.” It was your turn to laugh, “Me? Ruin your career? You assaulted me! And those two first years! They quit because they were scared of you! Scared because you threatened to kill them if they told anyone!”

He punched you, sending you falling back. He grabbed you by the rope under your breast. “And you’re not scared that I’ll do the same to you now?”

You held your head up to look at him, blood pouring from your nose. “I would lie and say ‘no’. But guess what?” “What?” He spat through gritted teeth. You smiled with blood stained teeth, “I put you in jail once. It’s almost poetic that I’d do it again. Except this time, there won’t be a chance you’ll make it out.”

Cole growled and they all noticed his posture change, “Let’s play a game, Lieutenant.” You shifted forward to get in his face, gaze stone cold, “What do you suggest, Cooke?” The team could feel the venom dripping off your tone. “Hangman.”

The video stopped on the frame of your face falling once again to show fear, and the team turned to face the pilot who looked equally worried and pissed.

*****

You were hanging from the ceiling, your chin resting against your chest.

The door to the room you were in opened. You whimpered just a little when he brushed his fingers against your bruised ribs, “You didn’t hurt him, did you? Please… You can do whatever you want to me, but please leave Jake out of this…”

Cole hummed in your ear, “Anything I want, hmmm?” You glanced at the camera, before looking at the ground shamefully. A shaky and timid ‘yes’ fell from your lips. He let out an amused huff before his hands ran over your shirtless torso.

*****

Jake felt bile rise up his throat when you looked down in shame.

“What’s he gonna do to her?” McGee asked. Gibbs frowned, “What he tried to do 12 years ago.”

The anger and disgust rolled off the agents as Cooke’s hands ran down your body. When he got to your breast you jerked away out of reflex, earning a pull to your hair which made you cry out.

You were getting weaker by the hour and the team could tell. Jake could tell, and he hated it.

“You know, you only had the one tattoo at the academy,” he said, groping at the inked flesh of your thigh. Jake watched your lip quiver and you inhaled as best you could with your position. “I also found your back, extremely enticing,” Cooke ran his hand down your back. You gritted your teeth and looked behind you at him, “Is that because you’re too much of a coward to attack women from the front?”

That must have really pissed him off because he came around and started to punch you.

Jake stood up hastily and made a beeline to the elevator, “I can’t watch this anymore.”

Tony jogged after him, “Lieutenant Seresin! Hangman-” The doors closed when he got to them.

******

Jake just needed to get away and he was going to Abby’s lab.

When he stopped on her floor, he moved quickly to her lab but nearly ran into Ducky in the process. “I’m sorry, Doctor.” “In a hurry, Jacob?” Hangman chuckled nervously, “Yeah.” “Needed a breather, my boy?” “Sir?” “I saw the videos as Abby was analyzing them.”

Jake felt bile rise again and this time he couldn’t stop it. Ducky noticed and quickly helped him get to a trash can.

“Let’s get you someplace cooler,” Ducky ushered Jake back to the elevator.

******

Jake sat on one of the metal tables in Autopsy.

His khaki uniform shirt was neatly folded next to him as he sipped his water. “Thank you, Ducky.” The doctor nodded, “Of course. It can’t be easy, seeing the one you love like that.” Jake coughed a little, trying to force the emotion out of his throat, “It’s not.”

Ducky watched his eyes fall to his shoes, he could tell he felt guilty. “It’s not your fault, Lieutenant.” “I hesitated, Ducky. And since I hesi-” His voice cracked, tears finally slipping past his lids. “Since I hesitated she's having to relive the worst day of her life.”

Jake set the bottle down and used his white undershirt to wipe his eyes, “How long have you been together?” “Over 15 years…” Ducky nodded in understanding, “High school sweethearts.” Jake huffed out a laugh, “Childhood friends to high school sweethearts to USNA sweethearts.”

“Forgive me if I’m overstepping, but why aren’t you married?” Jake shrugged, “I don’t know. I guess it’s because we were already acting like a married couple, just without the license and the rings. I never thought about it.” Jake laughed and shook his head.

It was silent for a moment.

“She asked me if I was ever gonna marry her, and I hesitated. It was a question she asks me all the time, but this was the only time it was during a fight. It was the only time that my answer really mattered. And I hesitated… She left and was in a vulnerable enough state to let herself get taken.”

Ducky leaned on the table next to Jake, “Cooke was going to get to her one way or another.” “But I led her right to him.”

Jake looked at the doctor next to him, allowing Ducky to see how broken and tired he was. “I’m scared, Doctor Mallard.” “That’s perfectly normal, Jacob.” “I'm a damn fighter pilot, I’m supposed to be level headed, and right now… my head doesn’t even feel like it’s on my damn shoulders.”

“It’s normal to feel like that, Jake,” Gibbs said, leaning on the doorframe.

He walked over to the pilot, “She’s strong. She’s gonna fight to get back to you.” Jake rose a brow, sniffling as wiped his eyes, “Did you see her, Agent Gibbs? He was using her like a punching bag…” “She will make it out of this.” “How do you know?” “My gut.”

That was oddly comforting to Jake.

“Do you know the mythology behind Medusa?” Ducky inquired after a beat of silence. Jake chuckled again, remembering the nights throughout your lives that you would stay up and talk about mythology of all sorts for fun. Sometimes when he was having trouble sleeping, you’d tell him the story of some hero in mythology and he’d fall right asleep.

He sighed, “We’ve stayed up hours talking about mythology. But if I’m honest, I never really heard the words she said…” Both men knew what Jake was getting at; he was listening to your voice and watching your expressions as you told the stories.

Ducky just smiled, “Medusa was a priestess for Athena, the goddess of wisdom and war strategy, and had sworn celibacy. However, Medusa had gained the attention of Poseidon, and they-” “Had sex in Athena’s temple,” Jake said as he sipped his water. “That much I remember.” Both Gibbs and Ducky laughed a little at that.

“When Athena found out, she punished Medusa for breaking her celibacy by turning her into a ‘beast’ with the ability to turn men to stone.” Jake nodded, “Yeah, Y/N has the tendency to do that, whether it be with fear or with her beauty.” Jake couldn’t help but smile at the memory of him seeing you on prom night for the first time, he froze on your parents doorstep.

Ducky and Gibbs smiled as they saw the look in Jake’s eyes as he thought about you.

“She was killed by the hero Perseus, beheaded. Then her head was then used to protect those who had it in their possession. The image of her head was used on shields, breast plates, and more recently, tattoos.” Jake remembered you mentioning that as he held your hand as you got it, “She mentioned that when she got it. She was getting it because she thought it looked cool, makes her feel powerful; but she likes the extra meaning.”

Ducky rested a hand on Jake’s shoulder, “I know it may not look like it, but she is protecting herself.” Jake took in a deep breath and nodded.

********

They walked back into the squad room, the group sitting at their desks and making conversation.

“Go home,” Gibbs told them.

It was late. They’d been out all day talking to Cooke’s neighbors, his parents, his boss and coworkers. And the last video was sent just after sundown.

They were tired.

“But we haven’t found-” “I know that, Ziva.” McGee spoke up, “Abby’s trying to analyze the room she is in so we know what to look for. I tried to triangulate where he sent the emails from, but he was using public wifi at an internet cafe.” “We have no direction to go, Boss,” Tony said, not being able to look at Jake.

Gibbs turned to DiNozzo, “Which is why I’m telling you to go home. Get some rest.” Ziva inhaled through her nose and interlocked her hands, “Gibbs, we don’t know what Cooke is going to do next. We have zero time to waste.” “If Cooke wanted her dead, he would have killed her already,” Jake said, jaw clenched with his eyes trained on the floor. “Believe me, I’m worried. Hell, I’m terrified out of my mind right now.-”

“But we can’t make progress without leads. Cooke lives in a studio apartment, his parents disowned him, and he’s not shown up to work in days, we don’t have anything,” Gibbs said, frustration in his tone. “Go home, get some sleep.” His team begrudgingly got their things, all avoiding Jake’s eyes.

“You should get some sleep too, Lieutenant.” Jake chuckled dryly as he shook his head, “I don’t think I can, sir.” He ran his thumbs along the khaki of his uniform.

Plus Maverick had left, needing to be back on base. The only way Jake was getting back to base was by cab. Maverick also gave him as much time off as he needed.

“But- uh, I better head back to base though.” “In what, Lieutenant?” Jake shrugged, “A cab, I guess.” Gibbs shook his head, “Stay with me, Jake. It’s late. And I doubt you want to be in that house right now.” Hangman looked down at the floor, huffing out his nose and tonguing his lip.

“I know how you feel.” Jake looked up, green eyes swimming with curiosity as his brows pinched together. “When I was in Desert Storm, I was informed that my wife and daughter were dead. It was hard to even walk into my house, let alone sleep there.” Jake’s eyes widened slightly and he swallowed as his jaw ticked, “I’m sorry, sir. I can’t imagine what that must have felt like…” Gibbs nodded, “And I hope you never have to.” He patted Jake's shoulder, “Come on.”

******

Gibbs gave Jake a pair of sweats to change into.

They went to his basement, neither being able to sleep.

“So, you’re a Marine?” Jake asked, sipping his bourbon. “What gave it away?” Gibbs asked, smiling a little bit as he sanded the wood of the boat. “Other than you being in Desert Storm?” Gibbs turned, wiping his hands on a damp towel, nodding. “Everything.”

The marine let out a breathy, amused chuckle. “You know a lot of marines?” “I was raised by one. My father retired when I was 4 as a Sergeant, he was 38.” Gibbs sipped his bourbon, “Why’d he retire?” “Wanted to be there for us. He had a close call, he didn’t want to risk not coming home to us. His 20 years were up, so he retired.”

Gibbs nodded, looking at the boat before looking back at Jake. “You wanna help?” Jake looked up from his glass and between the boat and Gibbs. “Sure, yeah.” He downed what was left and Gibbs gave him a sander.

*******

Since Jake didn’t need to report to base, he just freshened up and Gibbs took him by the base rental to get some clothes.

He had forgotten his keys in his locker and had to call someone to bring them to him at the house. That someone was Rooster.

Jake got out of Gibb’s car and saw Bradley on the porch. He was sitting on the bench, one fist held by the other as he looked at the ground. Maverick had gotten permission to relay what had happened to you to the squad, and everyone had taken it hard.

Rooster looked up when Hangman shut his car door.

They immediately met in a hug. “I’m so sorry, Jake.” “I’m scared, Rooster. I didn’t even-” Bradley pulled back and held Jake by the shoulders, “Hey, they’re gonna find her. Say it to her then.”

Gibbs came up beside them, nodding at Rooster before they went inside.

Jake didn’t want to be there longer than he needed to be so once it was opened, he booked it to the bedroom.

Bradley and Gibbs stood at the island in the kitchen. “They didn’t decorate much.” Rooster shrugged, looking around, “We aren’t here for long. They didn’t see the need to bring a whole lot.” “If you aren’t here for long, then why’d they rent the house?” Rooster chuckled, “They wanted their privacy.” Gibbs chuckled and glanced at his watch.

Hangman was taking longer than he said.

Gibbs went down the hall and found Jake sitting on the side of the bed. He had changed into a pair of his own sweatpants and a green t-shirt. Jethro knew what he was looking at, even with his back to him and from the door.

“Ask her.”

Jake chuckled humorlessly, “After this…” He shook his head, “I doubt she'll say yes.” “Ah, I don’t know about that.” Hangman sniffled, “I messed up…” Gibbs nodded, moving to sit next to him. “Yeah, you did, big time.” Jake shook his head.

“But this is how you fix it.” Gibbs pointed to the ring box. Jake swallowed, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, “I wanted to wait, ask her on my family's ranch where we had danced in my headlights to George Strait. I had this big plan. Just a private thing, but special…” “Plans change. Sometimes you have to adapt.” “Yeah.” “So ask her.”

Jake turned and looked at him, nodding at him. He stood from the bed and slid the box into his pocket. He grabbed the small stack of clothes next him and they left.

“Agent Gibbs?” Gibbs and Jake looked over at where Bradley was at his Bronco. “When you find her, give us a call?” The agent nodded, “Yeah, I’ll give ya a call.”

*******

When Jake and Gibbs got to NCIS, nothing had changed yet.

No new video. Abby was still working on room measurements, and no one had seen Cole.

Until McGee’s computer went off. Everyone’s head turned, and Jake felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. “It’s Cooke.” “Pull the video up McGee.”

You were still hanging from the ceiling, Cole running his hands over your torso.

The camera was a little closer, and it showed the tear tracks on your face.

“You know,” you spoke, voice shaky and raw. “I’m gonna need a drink after this. Yeah, whiskey sounds really nice.” Cole just grunted and pulled you back against him. You whimpered a little bit, definitely feeling gross because of what was happening. “Or an Oscar. Maybe two.”

“The hell’s an oscar?” Tony asked out of reflex, glancing at Jake, but he was just as confused.

Cole grunted into your neck, “Shut up.” “Have you ever been to the delta?” He stayed silent but reached over to yank the rope and pull you up higher. You swallowed, glancing at the camera, “Me either, but I’ve been to the Sierra Nevada Mountains. I went there with Hangman on a weekend getaway after a rough deployment. My uncle has a cabin up there. God, that weekend was so fun. I love Jake, I love him so much…” You kept your eyes on the camera to make sure that Jake knew that you’d love him. The video stopped just as Cooke pulled your hair back, making you yelp.

Jake cleared his throat, nodded, “Yeah, that weekend was fun… Wait, we didn't go to the Sierras; we weren’t even in California, we were in Arkansas.” Gibbs caught Jake’s eyes and that’s when they realized it.

“She’s using phonetics!”

The team's eyes grew wide in realization. “Whiskey, Oscar, Delta, Sierra,” McGee repeated. “W O D S?” Ziva spelled it out. “She said two oscars,” Tony pointed out.

“She’s in the woods,” Gibbs finished for them. Jake thought back to what you said, “She put emphasis on ‘cabin’.” “DiNozzo, check to see if Cooke’s parents owned or still own a cabin.” “On it Boss.”

His phone rang, “Yeah, Gibbs.” “Gibbs, I ran the measurement of the room. She seems to be in a cabin. Based on the dimensions it’s a family cabin, probably two or three bedrooms.”

“Boss, it seems Cooke’s parents own a lot of cabins,” Tony said just as Gibbs picked up his phone. “Did you narrow it down to Virginia?” McGee asked, brow arched. “Yes, McGeek, I did. Mr. Cooke owns two hunting cabins and a-” “Family cabin, two or three bedrooms,” Gibbs cut in.

“Yeah, they haven’t used it in years. It’s in Fletcher State Park.” Gibbs got up, “Get your gear, let’s go.” Jake watched them all grab their things.

“Agent David,” he called out before she got too far. “Yes, Lieutenant?” Jake grabbed the clothes he brought. “Here,” he held them out. “She’s in nothing but a bra and underwear, give her these.” Ziva hesitated to take it. “Please.” She heard the desperation in his voice and took them.

She went over to Tony and Tim. “You know, despite the odds, we may not-” “We will find her alive,” she glanced at the fabrics in her hands. “We have to.”

*******

You yanked down on the rope, crying out a little at the pain in your dislocated shoulder. You had honestly been scared of losing feeling in your hands, but he gave you a bit of a break when he was finished hurting you for the day and left you locked in one of the bedroom closets.

Your toes barely scraped the ground and the rope wasn’t going anywhere. You shivered in the cold damp air of the cabin. Only being in your underwear, the chill soaked into your bones. You were certain that if you didn’t die of whatever Cooke was doing to you, you might die from the cold.

Hearing tires outside the cabin, your heart sped up. You could only huff out small breaths as you heard footsteps outside the door on the porch.

It was his routine to get you set up for his next sick video, film it, and then leave to send it. You’d calculated the time it took for him to get back and it was getting close for time to him to be back.

But then there was banging on the door, followed by a gruff voice yelling, “NCIS!”

Your entire body relaxed. You were safe.

“I’m in here! Help me!” You called back, coughing a little.

The door frame splintered when the door was kicked in. “Lieutenant Abbott?” The agent asked, pistol drawn as he walked over to you.“Yes,” you breathed out. “Where’s Cooke?” You shook your head, “I don’t know but he’ll be back soon.”

“Please get me down from here. It’s hard to breathe,” you begged, tears of relief falling down your cheeks. You jerked your neck towards where Cole had secured the rope, “Ease me down, please.”

McGee was quick to loosen the rope and Ziva helped steady you once your feet were on the ground. “Can you walk?” She asked, gently placing her hand on your sternum. “I think so. I might need a little help.” The agent simply nodded and helped you outside.

Once you were outside the uneven ground and rocks caused you to stumble. Tim moved to help Ziva steady you but he jostled your dislocated shoulder. “Shit!” McGee looked panicked, “What’s wrong?” You gritted your teeth, “My shoulder, it’s dislocated. I tried to break the rope and pulled it out.”

You chuckled a little at his expression, “Hurt like a bitch. Can either of you pop it back in?” Ziva nodded and leaned you against the car. She got a proper grip and looked at you, “Ready?” You swallowed and nodded. She exaggerated a few breaths and when you matched she popped it back in.

“Holy shit! Sweet baby Jesus..”

You pushed off the car and threw up; all the pain catching up to you with the adrenaline rush. Ziva came up and held your hair out of your face.

Spitting out the last of the saliva in your mouth, you thanked her under your breath.

A coat was wrapped around your shoulders. You looked to see Gibbs rubbing your shoulder, a small smile on his face.

His fatherly nature was present and it allowed you to be vulnerable, finally allowing yourself to outright sob; mostly in relief. You fell into his chest and he caught you, hands moving to rub your back. He mumbled into your hair, “You’re safe. I got ya. I got ya.”

The sound of gravel shifting caught their attention.

Gibbs felt you tense under his touch, “Is that him?” You nodded, whimpering a little bit. He looked at Ziva, “Stay with her, cover the front. DiNozzo, McGee, go find cover on the right, I’ll get cover on the left. You’ll know what to do.”

Carefully, Gibbs placed you in Ziva’s hold and she placed you in the car for both warmth and cover.

When Cole finally reached the cabin, Ziva raised her weapon. “Cole Cooke! NCIS! Get out of the car-” He threw it in reverse just to be stopped by Tony and Tim. He tried to get out and make a break for the tree line but Gibbs stepped out. He quickly surrendered and was handcuffed.

With you in a separate vehicle they made the trip back to NCIS.

********

Jake paced the squad room. Abby was up there with him, trying to keep him calm.

He was mumbling things to himself out of worry and Abby was following him, trying to grab him by the shoulders. “Jake. Jake. Ja-”

She finally got a hold of him, and ducked her head a little bit to make sure he was looking at her.

“Jake, they will find her. They’re the best there is. I’m sure they already found her and are either on their way here or to a hospital.” Jake frowned, “She hates hospitals, especially being in them alone.” Abby shook her head, “She isn’t alone. Gibbs wouldn’t let her be alone. Y/N is safe, I can feel it.” Jake just nodded, slowly calming down.

The elevators dinged and he was on his feet, nearly giving himself whiplash as he turned.

But when he did all he saw was red.

Cooke was being escorted out in handcuffs by Tony and McGee. Abby couldn’t hold Jake back as he swiftly made his way over and landed a punch to Cole’s jaw. Neither agent bothered to stop the pilot as the one punch sent Cooke to the ground.

But as he went in for more, Gibbs gripped Jake and pulled him away. He had to fight Jake back to the bullpen, but he got him there.

“That asshole just punched me!” McGee and DiNozzo huffed as they harshly yanked him off the ground. “You’re lucky that’s all he did.” They dragged him to interrogation.

Jake’s nostrils flared as he exhaled, his chest still broadened in his display of dominance over Cole.

However, the adrenaline wore off as quickly as it appeared and Jake felt tears line his eyes. He hung his head and fell into a chair. He pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes, sobs leaving his lips. “I wasn’t there the first time, and I wasn’t there this time… I can’t believe I-” Abby cut him off, “Don’t finish that sentence, Jake. Because you are here, you were there the first time. She ran to you, you are her safe place.” “But-”

He was cut off the elevator ding again.

Glancing up, his heart soared in his chest.

There you were. Standing right before him in an old Longhorn sweatshirt and gray sweatpants. You were clean from the dirt and dried blood, having used the showers to clean up after any evidence was collected.

Your arm was in a sling and some butterfly closures adorned your forehead. But even then, you were still the most beautiful girl in the world to him.

*****

You walked quietly with Ziva out of the elevator, the weight of the conversation you had with her and Ducky still sitting on your shoulders.

The sound of a chair rolling back and hitting a desk caught your attention.

Looking up, you saw Jake and once again, you were crying; both from relief and the realization you almost never saw him again.

You moved as fast as you could to get to him, slamming your beaten body into his when you got to him. His arms carefully wrapped around you, obviously not wanting to hurt you. But when your soft crying exhales hit his chest, he all but scooped you into his arms carefully wrapping your legs around his torso.

You winced a little when his arm tightened around your waist. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he immediately apologized. You pulled your head out of the crook of his neck, shaking it lightly before looking into his eyes, “It reminds me this isn’t just another dream.”

Jake closed his eyes, tears falling down his cheeks as he rested his forehead against yours. “Jacob, if you don’t-” He cut off your sentence with a kiss, it was slow but no less passionate. He was gentle, the arm wrapped around your shoulders bringing you closer to him.

Ziva, Gibbs, and Abby watched on with smiles. Tim and Tony walked in mid conversation, but stopped seeing the intimate moment happening in the squad room.

You had to pull back for air at some point. And when you did, you rested your forehead against Jake’s, both of your eyes closing with the contact.

“Marry me.”

Your eyes shot open and were met with Jake’s green ones.

You had said it at the same time.

A grin broke out on your face, “I hope you aren’t just askin’ me that-” Your tease was cut off by Jake, “I’m not. I-I had this big plan. I wanted to take you out to the pasture we danced in on prom night our senior year.” You giggled a little, “That would have been nice.”

Biting your lip you played with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“I had a lot of time to think over the past few days,” you said quietly, your breath ghosting over his lips. He nudged your nose with his. “So have I. And I’m sorry I never asked you sooner.” “Let me finish, will ya?” You chuckled lightly and he did as well. “I realized that proposing, nowadays, is a two way street. I could have asked you at any time and you would have said ‘yes’. We’ve been together since we were 15, Jake. Friends since we were born. We should have gotten married right out of high school, but we were scared of what our future held during the Academy and then flight school, then through separate deployments. It was too much to worry about at once, and we didn’t know what was gonna happen.”

You licked your lips and inhaled a little, “But I can’t go another damn day without legally being your wife. Those bitches at the bar aside. I just, I want others to know that you're mine and that I’m yours.” He nodded, “Okay, let’s do it.” You giggled and kissed him, “Alright cowboy.”

He sat you down and pulled out the ring box.

“Wait, you had that this whole time?” Jake rubbed the back of his neck, “Like I said, I had this whole plan. I was gonna ask you after we got some time off when we got back to North Island.” You laughed, “You perfectionist.” You peck his lips and he slid the ring on your finger.

You heard a squeal from behind you and you both looked around to see the entire Gibbs team smiling at you and Jake.

“Thank you, for getting her back to me. All of you.”

*********

thank you guys for making it to the end! i hope this crossover was accurate

i have plenty of ‘x readers’ in the drafts so if you want more let me know

and my asks are open, feel free to request what you would like to see next

feedback is greatly appreciated!

tags <3: @milesdickpic​ 

<3 love ya babes

[planetpedri]

Thank you for replying to me so fast <3 Could I please request Cole Palmer x female reader including this prompt "Do you have to go right now?" "I can stay for a little longer". If you don't write this that is fine and thank you either way. Have a good day! ^_^

Sea of love — Cole Palmer.

Pairing: Cole Palmer x Fem!Reader

Summary: You just wanted a few more minutes alone with your boyfriend before he left for the day.

Word count: 319

Disclaimer/s: fluff !

A/N: my req’s are open to anyone you guys want btw + i hope i followed this req a little idk what i was doing if im being honest

The early morning sun seeped through the white curtains of your bedroom, though that wasn’t what woke you up. The release of pressure that came from your boyfriend’s arm that was once draped over your waist, was what had you stirring from your slumber.

“‘Morning.” You mumble, eye’s squinting as you roll over to face him. He’s still half asleep, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

Cole glances at you for a moment, the corner of his lip curling at the sight of your messy hair. “‘Morning.” He mutters right back.

Neither of you were morning people unless you both had duties that day, because it meant you got to spend extra time together. But on the days that you had work off and he had practice, those mornings sucked.

You watch him make his way to the dresser, pulling out a plain white t-shirt. “Do you have to go right now?” You ask, lips pull into a frown, eye’s fully opening as you push yourself onto your elbows.

Cole tugs the shirt over his head, turning around to face you. He half contemplates for a moment, scanning your pleading face. You wanted him to stay a while longer, and Cole couldn’t help but oblige.

“I suppose, I can stay for a little longer.” He nods, trudging back to bed as if he wasn’t eager to spend more time with you.

You grin, lifting up the covers to invite him back into your arms. Cole slides under the sheets, pushing his arm beneath you, and pulling you close to his chest.

“Thank you.” You murmur into his neck, arms wrapping around him tightly.

Pressing a kiss into your hair, your boyfriend lets out a satisfied hum. “Of course.” He didn’t bother saying ‘you’re welcome’ because of course he’d do what you ask, of course he would do anything to make you happy. He just loved you that much.

likes , comments , & reblogs’s are all appreciated :)

DTS , @halfwayhearted @spidybaby !

[footballerimaginess]

Hi its me the same anon about Palmer, I would like to change my blurb idea

So reader is a singer gets seen papped with Cole around in and around england and he does feature in the IG stories but still no for sure confirmation from either side fans speculate about them untill reader is seen at a chelsea match and viewers at home see her on screen with the commentator saying "looks like we have singer y/n with us supporting Cole Palmer and Chelsea even tho its not her team"

After the game they hard launch via their own social media and chelseas social media x

Thanks !! P.s I love your writting !!

Thank you! As I already wrote the first one for you, i will change this one up a bit x You made your way up the stand as you were sitting in the corporate box to support Cole, nobody knew that two of you were official. You had been seen around with him, but neither of you had confirmed it. The commentators had mentioned you when you appeared on screen, "looks like we have the singer y/n here with us supporting Cole Palmer and Chelsea. Even though she doesn't support them"

The phone was going crazy with mentions when you pulled it out and had a scroll through on social media. "Oh my god" you whispered as you looked at all of the mentions of you being at Cole's game. - After a great game for Cole, you headed downstairs to see him at the tunnel. "Hi baby" you whispered as you grabbed him around the waist. Most of his team mates knew about you because they teased him when he was in the changing room. "You played amazing" you smirked as you cuddled him tightly as you felt the cameras on you. "Hi, can we use one of your song lyrics with a photo of Cole to celebrate his man of the match performance" the social media assistant asked. "Of course" you smiled as you loved the idea. "Cold(e) as ice tonight with you" the lady asked as she handed you to the phone to check it as you nodded in agreement. "Sounds great" you laughed as she pressed send on the tweet and instagram post which practically confirmed the fact that the pair of you were dating. "Guess that means a serious hard launch" you laughed as you saw all the posts coming in about the two of you.

[p1astories]

# 𝐏𝟏𝑨𝑺𝑻𝑶𝑹𝑰𝑬𝑺 — navigation.

free palestine. — bookworm history nerd / swimmer | bisexual | asian-british | she / her | 🧺🌺🪿🪭

— #ALT ACCOUNTS !

# @f1-and-shiz

— formula one blog | #🍒🪩🍾

— #WORKS !

#OCs

nothing here yet !

#READER INSERT

# PG8 —

IMAGINES :

nothing here yet !

BLURBS :

# — 6:15 AM. work in progress ! will be out soon.

— #GUIDELINES !

# absolutely no — smut ( not yet ) , racism , homophobia , transphobia , disrespect or anything of the sort — you will be immediately blocked and reported.

# i write — x gender neutral ! reader and x female ! reader , smau , imagine , blurb , series.

# i write for — ( # — FOOTBALL :: pedri , gavi , ferran torres , joao felix , marc guiu , lamine yamal , hector fort , jamal musiala , florian wirtz , kai havertz , joshua kimmich , ruben dias , pau cubarsi , cole palmer , robin le normand , pablo torre , lena oberdorf , alexia putellas , manuel neuer , alessia russo , julian alvarez , fermin lopez , marc bernal , martin odegaard , jule brand , federico chiesa , scott mctominay , kenan yildiz , son heung - min , jude bellingham , riccardo calafiori , leah williamson , lucas bergvall , rasmus hojlund , pablo torre , thomas muller , mason mount , alejandro garnacho , bukayo saka , arda guler , ona batlle , aitana bonmati

( # — FORMULA ONE :: franco colapinto , oscar piastri , paul aron , jack doohan , max verstappen , arthur leclerc , kimi antonelli , ollie bearman , rbr ! sebastian vettel , jenson button

( # — OLYMPICS :: keegan palmer , leon marchand ,

( # — FICTIONAL :: conrad oxford , eggsy unwin , percy jackson , jason grace ,

( # — ACTORS / SINGERS :: nicholas alexander chavez ,

( # — KEEP AN EYE ON THIS LIST ( above ) :: this list may be added onto a lot , as i very quickly find new people to obsess over ( lol ) or i just might not feel like writing for them anymore. also, keep in mind that this list only contains who i feel the most comfortable abt writing, but i like to be pushed out of my comfortzone once in a while :) — you may suggest someone that isn’t on this list in my ask box , and i’ll decide if i want to write them :).

# warning — probs inconsistent posting , swearing , slightly mature themes , possible violence or anything trauma inducing — i will be adding a trigger warning.

# taglist — ( if you want to be tagged when i post a fic , write ‘ # ’ under this post <3 )

c. #P1ASTORIES — 2024.

[eludin-realm]

Character Name Ideas (Male)

So I've been browsing through BehindTheName (great resource!) recently and have compiled several name lists. Here are some names, A-Z, that I like. NOTE: If you want to use any of these please verify sources, meanings etc, I just used BehindTheName to browse and find all of these. Under the cut:

A: Austin, Aiden, Adam, Alex, Angus, Anthony, Archie, Argo, Ari, Aric, Arno, Atlas, August, Aurelius, Alexei, Archer, Angelo, Adric, Acarius, Achilou, Alphard, Amelian, Archander B: Bodhi, Bastian, Baz, Beau, Beck, Buck, Basil, Benny, Bentley, Blake, Bowie, Brad, Brady, Brody, Brennan, Brent, Brett, Brycen C: Cab, Cal, Caden, Cáel, Caelan, Caleb, Cameron, Chase, Carlos, Cooper, Carter, Cas, Cash, Cassian, Castiel, Cedric, Cenric, Chance, Chandler, Chaz, Chad, Chester, Chet, Chip, Christian, Cillian, Claude, Cicero, Clint, Cody, Cory, Coy, Cole, Colt, Colton, Colin, Colorado, Colum, Conan, Conrad, Conway, Connor, Cornelius, Creed, Cyneric, Cynric, Cyrano, Cyril, Cyrus, Crestian, Ceric D: Dallas, Damien, Daniel, Darach, Dash, Dax, Dayton, Denver, Derek, Des, Desmond, Devin, Dewey, Dexter, Dietrich, Dion, Dmitri, Dominic, Dorian, Douglas, Draco, Drake, Drew, Dudley, Dustin, Dusty, Dylan, Danièu E: Eadric, Evan, Ethan, Easton, Eddie, Eddy, Einar, Eli, Eilas, Eiljah, Elliott, Elton, Emanuel, Emile, Emmett, Enzo, Erik, Evander, Everett, Ezio F: Faolán, Faron, Ferlin, Felix, Fenrir, Fergus, Finley, Finlay, Finn, Finnian, Finnegan, Flint, Flip, Flynn, Florian, Forrest, Fritz G: Gage, Gabe, Grady, Grant, Gray, Grayson, Gunnar, Gunther, Galahad H: Hale, Harley, Harper, Harvey, Harry, Huey, Hugh, Hunter, Huxley I: Ian, Ianto, Ike, Inigo, Isaac, Isaias, Ivan, Ísak J: Jack, Jacob, Jake, Jason, Jasper, Jax, Jay, Jensen, Jed, Jeremy, Jeremiah, Jesse, Jett, Jimmie, Jonas, Jonas, Jonathan, Jordan, Josh, Julien, Jovian, Jun, Justin, Joseph, Joni, K: Kaden, Kai, Kale, Kane, Kaz, Keane, Keaton, Keith, Kenji, Kenneth, Kent, Kevin, Kieran, Kip, Knox, Kris, Kristian, Kyle, Kay, Kristján, Kristófer L: Lamont, Lance, Landon, Lane, Lars, László, Laurent, Layton, Leander, Leif, Leo, Leonidas, Leopold, Levi, Lewis, Louie, Liam, Liberty, Lincoln, Linc, Linus, Lionel, Logan, Loki, Lucas, Lucian, Lucio, Lucky, Luke, Luther, Lyall, Lycus, Lykos, Lyle, Lyndon, Llewellyn, Landri, Laurian, Lionç M: Major, Manny, Manuel, Marcus, Mason, Matt, Matthew, Matthias, Maverick, Maxim, Memphis, Midas, Mikko, Miles, Mitch, Mordecai, Mordred, Morgan, Macari, Maïus, Maxenci, Micolau, Miro N: Nate, Nathan, Nathaniel, Niall, Nico, Niels, Nik, Noah, Nolan, Niilo, Nikander, Novak, O: Oakley, Octavian, Odin, Orlando, Orrick, Ǫrvar, Othello, Otis, Otto, Ovid, Owain, Owen, Øyvind, Ozzie, Ollie, Oliver, Onni P: Paisley, Palmer, Percival, Percy, Perry, Peyton, Phelan, Phineas, Phoenix, Piers, Pierce, Porter, Presley, Preston, Pacian Q: Quinn, Quincy, Quintin R: Ragnar, Raiden, Ren, Rain, Rainier, Ramos, Ramsey, Ransom, Raul, Ray, Roy, Reagan, Redd, Reese, Rhys, Rhett, Reginald, Remiel, Remy, Ridge, Ridley, Ripley, Rigby, Riggs, Riley, River, Robert, Rocky, Rokas, Roman, Ronan, Ronin, Romeo, Rory, Ross, Ruairí, Rufus, Rusty, Ryder, Ryker, Rylan, Riku, Roni S: Sammie, Sammy, Samuel, Samson, Sanford, Sawyer, Scout, Seán, Seth, Sebastian, Seymour, Shane, Shaun, Shawn, Sheldon, Shiloh, Shun, Sid, Sidney, Silas, Skip, Skipper, Skyler, Slade, Spencer, Spike, Stan, Stanford, Sterling, Stevie, Stijn, Suni, Sylvan, Sylvester T: Tab, Tad, Tanner, Tate, Tennessee, Tero, Terrance, Tevin, Thatcher, Tierno, Tino, Titus, Tobias, Tony, Torin, Trace, Trent, Trenton, Trev, Trevor, Trey, Troy, Tripp, Tristan, Tucker, Turner, Tyler, Ty, Teemu U: Ulric V: Valerius, Valor, Van, Vernon, Vespasian, Vic, Victor, Vico, Vince, Vinny, Vincent W: Wade, Walker, Wallis, Wally, Walt, Wardell, Warwick, Watson, Waylon, Wayne, Wes, Wesley, Weston, Whitley, Wilder, Wiley, William, Wolfe, Wolfgang, Woody, Wulfric, Wyatt, Wynn X: Xander, Xavier Z: Zachary, Zach, Zane, Zeb, Zebediah, Zed, Zeke, Zeph, Zaccai

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Andrew Doyle

Published: Jun 18, 2024

With the inexorable spread of DEI – Diversity, Equity and Inclusion – across the western world, it’s refreshing to see at least one major company resist the decrees of this new religion. This is precisely what happened this week when Scale, an Artificial Intelligence company based in San Francisco, launched a new policy to ensure that its employees were hired on the basis of – wait for it – being the most talented and best qualified for the job.

This innovation, which sees race, gender and sexuality as irrelevant when it comes to hiring practices, should hardly be considered revolutionary. And yet in a world in which the content of one’s character is less important than the colour of one’s skin, to treat everyone equally irrespective of these immutable characteristics is suddenly deemed radical.

Scale’s CEO, Alexandr Wang, explained that rather than adopt DEI policies, the company would henceforth favour MEI, which stands for Merit, Excellence, and Intelligence. He explained the thinking behind the new scheme in a post on X.  

“There is a mistaken belief that meritocracy somehow conflicts with diversity. I strongly disagree. No group has a monopoly on excellence. A hiring process based on merit will naturally yield a variety of backgrounds, perspectives, and ideas. Achieving this requires casting a wide net for talent and then objectively selecting the best, without bias in any direction. We will not pick winners and losers based on someone being the ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ race, gender, and so on. It should be needless to say, and yet it needs saying: doing so would be racist and sexist, not to mention illegal. Upholding meritocracy is good for business and is the right thing to do.”

One can already hear the likes of Robin DiAngelo and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez screaming in fury at this blatant implementation of good old-fashioned liberal values. Surely the only way to defeat racism and homophobia is to treat ethnic and sexual minorities as incapable of high achievement and in need of a leg up from their betters?

It is instructive to compare reactions from the Twittersphere (now X) and Instagram, as one X user has done. If nothing else, the comparison reveals how the divide in the culture war is playing out on social media since Elon Musk’s takeover. On X, major figures in the corporate world such as Tobias Lütke (CEO of Shopify), Palmer Luckey (founder of Oculus VR) and Musk himself have congratulated Wang on his new initiative.

By contrast, here are some of the responses on Instagram:

“You’re ‘disrupting’ current hard-fought standards you don’t like, by reverting to a system rooted in bias and inequality that asks less of you as a hiring manager and as a leader” – Dan Couch (He/Him)

“Curious to see how hiring processes can effectively (and objectively) measure one’s ‘merit’, ‘excellence’, and ‘intelligence’, all of which are very subjective terms” – Cole Gawin (He/Him)

“What is merit and how do we measure it?” – Rio Cruz Morales (They/Them)

“This sounds a lot like excuse making for casting off DEI principles” – R.C. Rondero De Mosier (He/Him)

The pronouns, of course, signify membership of the cult, and so we should not be surprised to see the sentiments of its minions mirroring each other so closely. What Wang is proposing of course builds equality into the hiring system and, contrary to these complaints, it is entirely possible to measure merit objectively. This, after all, is the entire point of academic assessment. The arguments against merit can only be sustained if one presupposes that systemic inequalities are ingrained within society, that all of these relate to the concept of group identity, and that adjustments have to be made accordingly to guarantee equality of outcome.

This gets to the heart of “equity”, a principle which has become so entrenched in the corporate world partly it sounds so much like “equality” and has duped many into supposing it to be synonymous. In truth, “equity” is the precise opposite of “equality”, just as “diversity” actually means “political homogeneity” and “inclusion” means “exclusion of non-conformists”. As I have argued many times before, the culture war is really about language and who gets to control the meaning of words. The prevalence of DEI did not come about because it is the best system, but rather because its practitioners use slippery terminology that operates as a Trojan Horse, sneaking in regressive ideas under the cover of progressivism.

With the corporate orgy that is Pride Month, now seems a good time to appeal to businesses and corporations to revisit their policies, and to consider adopting Wang’s suggestion of MEI rather than DEI. The advantages are obvious. Hiring the best people means that profit and productivity will inevitably rise. As an additional bonus, it also means that minorities will not end up being patronised and treated as second-class citizens. For genuine progressives, this is surely the way to go.

That the workplace has become so politicised is also, of course, why cancel culture has been able to wreak such havoc. With that in mind, I’d like to take this opportunity to offer some of my own thoughts on how companies might tackle the problem. In September 2020, I posted on Twitter a proposed six-part pledge for business owners. My Twitter account was relatively small at that point, and so the fact that it was retweeted hundreds of times showed that there was at least some appetite out there to put such measures in place.

This was the wording of the pledge for business owners:

We will never discipline or fire members of staff on the basis of pressure from online activists.

We have no interest in our employees’ political opinions, and how they choose to express themselves outside the workplace is no business of ours.

We will not probe into our employees’ thoughts with “unconscious bias training”, or force them to undertake workshops that presuppose the existence of “systemic injustice”.

We will never make statements of fealty to any given cause, political or ideological, or claim to promote certain “values”. Our aim is to make a profit, not preach to our customers.

We will not tolerate the public shaming of employees if they cause offence, either through a joke or poor phrasing, and will instead seek to resolve internally any disputes that naturally occur when human beings work together.

We reject the current predominance of identity politics and will simply treat everyone equally (staff and customers alike) irrespective of their race, gender, sexuality, or any other immutable characteristic.

Fanciful stuff, obviously. I was later informed that at least one manager had adopted my suggestions, and it would be interesting to hear, all these years later, how this worked out.

In any case, if you happen to own a business why not give it a try? At the very least, I would strongly recommend hiring on the basis of ability and experience rather than skin colour, sexual orientation or the contents of applicants’ underwear.

[rafecameronsgirlfriend]

Early morning-cole palmer.

'Something fluffy for cole palmer pls' I'm sorry if this wasn't what you wanted, I tried my best, and I hope you like it x

You awoke to the faint sounds of birds chirping and the warm sun beaming onto the side of your face, opening your eyes slightly and turning your head to look at the alarm clock to see what the time was, you see that you still had atleast two hours to soak up some domestic bliss with cole before he goes to training.

Laying your head flat on your pillow again, you shift your body to face cole, admiring him as he slept soundly. You move closer towards him, kissing his cheek and laying your head back down. He stirs slightly and pulls his arm tighter around your waist so you're flush up against him.

Cole opens his eyes to see you already looking at him. "mornin' beautiful," he rasps out moving closer to give you a kiss, his morning voice giving you butterflies no matter how many times you've heard it.

"Morning baby," you reply, smiling at him slightly. "What time is it?" Cole questions after giving you another kiss. "About half 6, sorry if I woke you up." You tell him feeling a little bit guilty seeing as he didn't get home until late last night.

"No, it's alright, more time to spend with my girl before I've gotta head off." Cole speaks affectionately, sitting up against the headboard. You move with him, placing your head against the top of his arm.

Feeling yourself start to get hungry, you look up to Cole and ask, "What do you want for breakfast?" Cole thinks for a minute before replying."I'm feeling some banana pancakes. What about you?" Hearing the sound of bannana pancakes it makes your belly rumble making both you and Cole to let out a laugh.

"Guess I'm feeling that too, but I'm not making them. I'm just gonna sit there and look pretty whilst you do it," you tell Cole whilst laughing, letting him know that you're not being entirely serious.

"That's fine by me baby atleast I'll have something gorgeous to look at," Cole says whilst moving your head up to give you yet another kiss. "Come on then. Otherwise, I think I might starv." You joke as you unwrap your arm from coles waist and get out of the bed moving around your shared bedroom to follow Cole downstairs.

Once you both reach the kitchen Cole gives you a hug and lifts you up onto the counter so you can just sit and watch him, giving you one last kiss he begins to move around the kitchen grabbing everything he needs to make you both breakfast.

The rest of your morning includes eating the delicious food cole made and soaking up each others touch before Cole had to head off to training.