#pain is sometimes how you get to the solution
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medicinemane · 2 months ago
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I don't know, I get tired of a lot of positivity
Like yes yes, the world's wonderful and I'm so strong or whatever generic thing is being said (because it's always so generalized to the point of meaningless), but you know shit is what it is, and the only way forward is with changes I manage to make... which you're not helping with at all
And as for like... my internal mood, I'm deeply isolated, sorry if hollow platitudes don't sooth the gaping maw inside me
It is what it is, and I probably get my shit together enough to do stuff like teach out of my basement like I'd like, it's just I believe that I'll be alone in a crowd like I've always been
But positivity... I just... I kinda get sick of it. There's this guy on youtube I watch who talks about economics stuff, he's recently started doing positivity and... I just fucking know his personality enough where it's like sorry mate but I'm not interested in hearing you spout Secret light kinds off drivel
...I don't know, I suppose it boils down to this
One, I can barely fucking take in positive things said directly to me, about me. Generalizations don't help even a little... I'm a mess, I'd really like someone to toss me a life preserver instead of always tossing confetti at me while I struggle to stay afloat... doesn't help
Two, the world is a terribly imperfect place, and rather than taking a mentality of "everything will work out", I think it's important to acknowledge that sometimes good people live alone, die alone, and they never got the break they needed and slowly bled out
I think it's worth knowing that if you can't step in and help yourself, then maybe no help'll come at all
...I don't know, I suppose in the end the core of what I'm saying is a lot of positivity seems like self help tier stuff and... I get tired of that, and I see so many good people struggling and... eh... either I can at least come in and say something positive custom fit to them, or I can keep my mouth shut
Just fucking let me rot. Help or let me fester on my own, you know?
I got rid of the trailer, I maybe did something like cleaning though I can't tell... at what point will my pace on trying to make things better be good enough for people, and I'll be able to stop having people tell me to fix my life... as if I hadn't thought of that already
...everyone means well, it's just tiring
#it's like when people make you being suicidally depressed about them#I... don't really want to say some more specific details cause they might be able to pick themselves out of a line up#but it's just like... man... is this more about trying to get me in a better place; or about making you feel better#wears me out#mm tag so i can find things later#just seems impossible for people to not offer advice on things#the thing people never think of with advice; is that people living a situation often have thought about that situation a whole lot#it's like why... with my friend that's looking for theatre jobs; I don't offer a lot of advice because I figure they've done quite a bit#just kinda... offer to help the best I can and ask what they need; and then mostly just listen#it's not like I never ever say anything; it's just I try to back up advice with something concrete#like... for instance if I wanted to suggest someone do therapy; then I'm gonna be offering to help them find a therapist as best I can#cause I get that it's not like you just 'go to therapy'... getting started on things is often the hardest part#eh... keeping this as vague as possible cause I want the actions I took not the details#but when I had a friend who was someone who didn't treat them at all well#I didn't directly try to get them to leave cause I know that... it's hard; they were in deep#instead I just made sure to validate their perception of reality a whole lot#counter the literal gaslighting by just pointing out that they made sense and questioning how reasonable their partner was#and then I attempted to get them in touch with some other people so they were less isolated and had other people to validate them#and thankfully they're not with that person anymore; they're doing a great job at life and are much healthier now#...but advice... honestly I don't think I gave them much#I more asked leading questions to try and shine a light on things; or would brainstorm about what to do with various stuff#they were real stuck; and it was painful to see them stuck in such a bad situation; but... better to sit with them than push push push#it felt like if I gave them my actual advice; dump that abusive freak; they couldn't have heard me#it was easy for me to tell them the solution; but that didn't account for all the barriers to implementing that solution#in this case; many of the barriers were internal; but internal or external; barriers are barriers#I don't know... I just think sometimes you gotta be comfortable sitting with discomfort along side someone#unless you got an actual fix; and you're willing to put in the work to fix it... shut up about fixing and just be there for them#mhh... we'll take one of the only things I'm actually capable of doing instead of something more serious#if someone wants a minecraft server; I can either fucking help them set it up; or I can kinda keep my mouth shut#if I'm not helping them set it up; I can give them shit like 'that sounds cool; I bet you could do it'
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platiddypus · 5 months ago
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me whenever my leg kinda hurts: what if i didn’t have legs lmao
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raeofgayshine · 6 months ago
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You know what’s something that bothers me a lot, actually?
Out of my several chronic conditions I have going on, I’ve had eczema the longest. Like all 25 years of my life long.
But the only “help” I ever get from dermatologist and doctors about it are to simply *not* do the things that cause flare ups. Which would be simple, right, if those things didn’t include existing in literally an space during pollen season (spring and fall), petting my dog, washing my hands, being too hot or too cold, having my period, getting sick, putting literally anything close to tight on my body, any slight change in my environment including traveling, or any small change in products that I use (this one isn’t an always but it happens enough it gets to be on the list).
I think you understand my point
There’s no avoiding the things that cause my eczema to flare up because it’s literally just existing. I worry about traveling anywhere that something as simple as soap in a bathroom will trigger a bad reaction because it’s happened enough times I have to worry.
Avoidance isn’t the solution doctors think it is when it comes to chronic illnesses. I can’t just avoid living.
And I know there’s no cure for eczema but I know there are treatments. Things that are more then just steroid creams which I can’t apply to some place I flare up (like above my eyes) and is almost impossible to do anything when I apply it to other places (like my hands) especially when you’re not supposed to cover it up. And don’t even get my started on trying to remember to do something that doesn’t have a strict schedule, because I have brain fog out the wazoo and even with alarms I hardly remember to take my pill medicine, my brain just does not function that great and I would like a solution that works better for it.
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exopelagic · 10 months ago
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once again facing unstoppable force (anxiety-driven need to finish my work) vs immovable object (brain doesn’t wanna do anything but think abt little gay people)
#solution: write tumblr post#I JUST figured out a fix to my plot problem in this story I’ve been thinking abt#and I rlly rlly badly wanna start fleshing out these characters bc this is the story I’ve been most excited abt in a long time#it’s also combining a bunch of elements I’ve been playing with for a long time but never fit#and I am obsessed with all of the character concepts I have rn. there are 4 and this caters DIRECTLY to me#I’m getting much better at crushing the anxiety spikes that are uh. like. vaguely scrupulously ig that kept me from making things do ages#in favour of going hard on self indulgence and I’m having a great time#scrupulosity* as in i worry incessantly abt readings and sociopolitical implications until I’m just exhausted by the concept and drop it#sometimes you can just have fun luke it’s okay#but yeah I am!! and I wanna draw them all and do more stuff but#I have THIS FUCKING LECTURE. most boring frustrating man alive hislectures SHOULD BE GOOD but he SUCKS#he cannot get to the point and takes so many detours which are COOL but he’s so pretentious about it his lectures are PAINFUL#I get headaches within a few minutes of listening to him talk this hasn’t happened since I was sleep deprived in the v basic first year 9ams#and I’m on the last one. out of four. I have half an hour left. but this half an hour is insurmountable#and I gotta finish it bc I have so much other stuff to do (only two more lectures (better)!!! but also coursework now#which is easier!! and I know how to do both of them but it’ll take a chunk of time and I’m committed to getting it done by end of next week#okay. okay fine. I will watch this dumb fucking lecture and it will hurt#but once it’s done I will literally never have to listen to him talk again this is it forever. one last stretch#and then I can mess w my story while I have food. I can do this. pray for me#luke.txt
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wishful-seeker · 1 year ago
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Tips on how to avoid being unintentionally ableist
1. When a disabled person says they cannot do something, and you wish to offer solutions, do not make a solution that involves them powering through pain, or something thats not accessible to the disabled.
Example:
Disabled person: "washing dishes hurts too much and i cannot do it."
Abled person: "what if you did one dish at a time throughout the day?"
This statement is not respecting that this disabled person just said they "can't". Always respect that. No matter how simple the task would be for you.
Disabled person:" i think ill use plastic silverware so i don't make dishes."
Abled person: "plastic is bad for the environment!"
This statement shuts down the most accessible and disabled friendly option that this disabled person can actually do because of the abled persons personal beliefs. This is not helpful, and ableist.
Better yet, instead of offering solutions, ask them directly "is there anything you need that you do not have that would help you do this?" This allows the disabled person to think about what would work, and they will always have a better idea of what would work than you do.
To add on to this, when we say we have no more energy to solve a problem or do a task, or change our lifestyle, we mean it.
2. If you feel discomfort when a disabled person is talking about their health, good and bad, that is ableist. Your discomfort is coming from a place that deams disabled peoples very existence as a bad thing and you need to fix that.
For example:
Disabled person:" this week has been rough pain wise, ive been through a lot, felt like my body was on fire. Lucky i got new meds though and i think they're helping!"
Abled person: "can we talk about something else, this is a bummer."
Disabled people should be able to exist freely without worrying about your personal comfort. Do you really think its appropriate to tell someone in constant pain that their life is making YOU uncomfortable?
3. Do not treat disabled people as tragedies, do not romanticize their old life or put their current one down.
For example:
Disabled person: "yeah my life is pretty difficult sometimes, ive lost a lot but i still have happy moments."
Abled person: "it makes me so sad to see what disabled people go through :(. You used to love rock climbing and running, i would love to see you move around more again."
This statement is putting more value on the disabled persons abled past, and ignoring their life as a whole.
4. Do not avoid speaking to disabled people because it hurts to see your loved one disabled.
For example: my grandmother avoids conversations with me because it hurts her to see me in pain. While she has good intentions it leaves me being unable to be close to her. This is very isolating to the disabled.
5. Do not stop inviting your disabled friend/loved one out even if they are never well enough to attend. Unless we specifically ask you to stop asking if we can go out, good chances are we want to know you still care because again, disability is very isolating.
6. When a disabled person says certain things in their health have gotten better or worse, do not challenge this because you don't see a difference.
For example:
Disabled person: "yeah things are getting a little better"
Abled person sees disabled person using their wheelchair like usual: "i thought you said you were getting better?"
Better and worse are usually small changes only the disabled experience, its not like abled people healing from a broken arm. Better to a disabled person could mean they can stand for 10 more minutes.
7. Do not expect disabled people to ever be abled again, and again, do not put more value on an abled life.
For example:
Disabled person:"I have been using a wheelchair for 2 years."
Abled person: "oh you're young, im sure you'll be walking around in no time!"
This statement invalidates and ignores the disabled persons current life by hoping they get a more abled bodied life. Its fine to hope disabled people get better, but you don't get to decide what better looks like.
Hope this helps, stay punk.
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lyrefromthesea · 5 months ago
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Can I request? How would male hashiras react if we bleed when we were doing it? You can take your time,thank youu
Male pillars x Reader - Blood isn't a problem.
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author's note: I was certainly worried about how I should write this, there aren't many ways a woman can bleed down there without causing serious damage. Since I do not feel comfortable writing about those scenarios, I only wrote about period sex or virginity loss.
pairing: Tengen x reader, Obanai x reader, Rengoku x reader, Sanemi x reader, Giyuu x reader, Gyomei x reader
content warning: fem!reader, blood, period sex, virginity loss
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Tengen:
• the first time you bled down there was a complete accident
• you were having your first time with him and he shoved it in too deep -> your hymen broke immediately
• he was really worried, but gladly you were fine
"i'm sorry- breathe, beautiful. breathe." he instructed you, hands coming up to rest on your hips. he rubbed soothing circles into your skin, knowing he was a lot to take in.
"is it better now? it's all in, you did so good.." he said, leaning down to press a kiss on your lips. you wrapped shaky legs around him, knowing he had seen the blood glistening between your bodies too.
you knew it was prone to happen, he was on the packing side in girth and length.
shaky lips pressed against his, assuring him that "it's fine.." you knew he would never try to hurt you - not on purpose. besides, the pain subsided rather quickly.
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Obanai:
• knows your in pain during your period, doing anything to ensure you're fine
• chocolate, blankets, candles - he would bring everything you need
• he didn't know much about women - his past didn't give him the opportunity to learn - but he did it now
• read that sex helped against period cramps and came running towards you
"is it better now?" he asked, grinding deep into your pussy. his cheeks were flushed the same color as your own, brows furrowed together. he was focused on moving lightly, not wanting to hurt you.
he groans every so often, but tries to swallow the sounds he made down. he didn't want you to think that he was doing this for his own pleasure.
it did feel good, but he did it because he wanted to help you. he couldn't bare seeing you curled up in pain.
"you look m- more relaxed.." he mumbled, resting his head on your shoulder. he kissed along your skin, wanting you to feel loved all around.
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Rengoku:
• was inwardly panicking when you had sex and he suddenly saw blood -> why was it bleeding? you weren't a virgin and he didn't hurt you either
• felt relieved when you told him it was fine, you just miscalculated the day your period would arrive
• he's not into period sex, not because it's unattractive, but is scared of hurting you if he pushes his dick in
• most importantly, found ways to still lessen your cramps
"it's okay, [name], you're doing so good.." he would quietly say, his voice barely a whisper. he knew he often was too loud for other, but couldn't find the right volume. you found it endearing, but that would be a story for another time.
"Kyo, it's starting to hurt again.." you responded, a whine slipping past your lips. he had two of his fingers pressed deep inside of you, slowly pumping them in and out of your pussy.
they were glistening with your blood and slick, but he didn't care. it wasn't disgusting to him, he was used to seeing blood. the only thing he regretted was not being able to taste you after finishing. the metallic taste of blood made it impossible.
"we'll get you through this, just relax for me.."
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Sanemi:
• doesn't have a problem with period sex, but knows he can sometimes be too rough during the act
• doesn't want to hurt you because he's too dumb to control himself
• his solution? letting you take control
"fuck, doing so good for me.." he pants, throwing his head back against the cushions. you had been riding him for a while now, shaky legs having trouble to keep their tempo.
he wouldn't complain, he knew you couldn't influence it. his hands were gripping your waist, squeezing with every slow thrust.
he was used to a rougher pace - the pace he set - your slow tempo was a complete contrast to his. he felt like he was about to cum every time you sank down on him.
"just like that, yeah.. tell me if it's too much." he gasped out, squeezing his eyes shut.
it was hard to concentrate, but he would make sure you would be fine.
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Giyuu:
• just like Obanai, he did it to help you, not wanting to see you convulse in pain
• didn't know it would turn out to feel so good though
• your insides were all warm and wet, there was no need for foreplay, he could sink right in
• easily gets addicted to the feeling of your cunt
• definitely still does it to help you, but can't deny that he's quite eager for it too
his hips slapped against you, much slower than the pace he would usually set, but still fast enough to make your breath catch in your throat. your arms were wrapped around his neck, holding him close.
"i- love, fuck.. you feel so good, ah-" he moaned into your ear, burying his head in your neck. you could feel his hot breath gliding over the shell of your ear.
"tell me you feel good, as g- good as i feel when i fuck you like this.." his moans soon turned into whines, matching the sounds escaping you.
he listened to you chanting his name, trying to tell him that you were about to cum. "let go, want to feel you cum on my dick.." he panted, his pelvis grinding against your clit more often than not.
he couldn't hold back his own orgasm when he felt you gush around his cock, pressing his hips flush against yours to make you take his cum.
"f- uh- so g- good.." he mewled, hips slowly coming to a halt. upon seeing you lay under him in pure exhaustion and relaxation, he decided to finally pull out.
he just didn't know the sight of your cum and blood making his cock glisten would turn him on so much.
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Gyomei:
• knew he was bigger than the average man in every way
• understood why you were nervous when you shared your first time
• was scared himself and offered you to take him in yourself
• felt bad for the blood, but trusted your every word
"darling?" his deep voice asked, realizing there was a faint metallic scent in the air. your hands had tightened their hold on his shoulders, probably leaving small crescent marks.
"i- it's fine.." you stuttered out, trying to reassure him. you have been taking him in slowly, but his girth alone ensured that this would be painful at first.
however, you couldn't deny the relief you felt after having pushed him in so deeply already. your breathing has gotten quite shaky, feeling his large hands squeeze your waist in an attempt to comfort you.
"are you su- mh.." he didn't get to finish his sentence, you were squeezing him tightly. truthfully, it was hard for him to stay entirely still like this, but he forced himself to hold out longer.
he wondered whether you would be able to take all of it in.
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thetimetravellercat · 2 years ago
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I just can't wrap my brain around the fact that there are people who have never had a migraine in their lives and will likely never experience one ever
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srslylini · 11 days ago
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what made season 1 so stunningly good was that every scene could be explained with stuff that happened on screen.
Why did Vi know where to find Vander after Silco took him? well of course because of Ekko who was established in the first few minutes of the first episode to be the character to be on look out.
Why did Powder follow the others to the abandoned building? why because she wanted to feel useful, she wanted for her stuff to work and she wanted to help. She wanted to not be the Jinx. This was all established through character moments that were natural and normal human interactions.
Why did Mel invest in Jayce? Why because first of all her own mother sent her away so seeing Jayce's mother stand up for her son must've hit her. And we see her talking about having to find new investments. Of course she would. He sounds interesting enough. Why not try it? If it doesn't work banishment is still on the table.
Why did Viktor help Jayce? Because he didn't want to stand in Heimerdingers shadow as just an assistant anymore. He was sick and knew the problems of the undercity first hand, he wanted to help. Of course he would, if there was a chance hextech could do it.
Why did Marcus continue to help Silco even after Graysons death? Why, because of his daughter or course. He could be threatened, molded and used. He wanted to establish big things, and was hasty in his youth, and we see 1. Silco exploit that and 2. Marcus regret that.
Why did a shimmer induced Huck help Caitlyn out? Why because as early as the very first episode in Vanders first speaking scene he gets help from Vander and well why wouldn't he then show that help for Vi, knowing he can?
literally every scene makes sense, everything can be explained with stuff that we SEE in the show. There isn't anything "off screen" or just not there.
Now tell me
Why did Caitlyn suddenly switch sides again in season 2 act 2? Why and how did Mel know that her brother wasn't actually her brother? Why did she know how to solve the puzzle? Why is Viktor suddenly floating in the universe? Why does Ambessa just ignore her daughter being abscent outside of that one throw away line? Why do Maddie, Loris and Isha exist? Every chatacter existed for a reason that wasn't just Plot even if they sometimes were just for Plot in season 1. But Maddie, Loris and even ISHA for gods sake, really are just Plot. Isha not as much as Maddie and Loris and thank god for that but still, her character, while I still hope it isn't true, existed to die and further Jinx's pain.
it's just so ugh
Edit: A lot (and I mean a LOT) of people have told me how Kino did make sense and I agree with that now. Though I stand firm with my opinion that we should've gotten to know him before so we could have figured it out even easier with Mel, there were actually signs I didn't notice myself before. Thank's for that.
Plus I will not back down on the fact that Mel just knowing the solution to the puzzle "makes sense cause sHe WaS ShOwn TO Be gOoD WiTh PuZZLes" is stupid. Yes, I know she is smart and good with that. But that's like a whole different thing. It's such a leap I don't know how some of you don't see it.
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theliteraryarchitect · 9 months ago
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A Word of Advice About Critique Groups, Beta Readers, and Other Peer-Based Feedback on Your Writing
In my time as a professional editor, I've had many writers come to me with stories they've been trying to improve based on suggestions from critique groups, beta readers, or other non-professional feedback sources (friends, family, etc.). The writers are often frustrated because they don't agree with the feedback, they can't make sense of the comments they've gotten, or they've tried their best to implement the suggestions but now they've made a big mess of things and don't know where to go from here.
If this happens to you, you're not alone. Here's the deal.
Readers and beginning writers are great at sniffing out problems, but they can be terrible at recommending solutions. For that reason, critique groups can be a disastrous place for beginning writers to get advice.
Here's a good metaphor. Imagine you don’t know the first thing about cars. Someone tells you, “There’s oil leaking onto the driveway. You should cover the car with a giant garbage bag.” Alarmed, you oblige, only to be told the next day that “now the car smells like burning plastic and I can’t see out the windows.”
A mechanic would’ve listened to the critic’s complaint and come up with their own solution to the leaking oil, ignoring the amateur’s ridiculous idea, because they know how to fix cars and can use their skills to investigate symptoms and find the correct solution.
Critique groups actually aren’t bad places for experienced writers, because they can listen to the criticism, interpret it, and come up with their own remedies to the problems readers are complaining about. Beginning writers, on the other hand, can end up digging themselves into a deeper hole.
There's a great Neil Gaiman quote about this very conundrum:
Remember: when people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong.
So what to do?
First, try to investigate the reader's complaint and come up with your own solution, instead of taking their solution to the problem. Sometimes, in the end, the reader's solution was exactly right, which is lovely, but don't count on it. Do your own detective work.
Second, take everything you hear with a huge grain of salt, and run the numbers. Are 9 out of 10 readers complaining about your rushed ending? It's probably worth investigating. Does nobody have an issue with your abrasive antagonist except your cozy mystery-loving uncle? Then you might not need to worry about it.
Third, give everything you hear a gut check. Does the criticism, while painful, ring true? Or does it seem really off-base to you? Let the feedback sit for a week or so while you chill out. You might find you're less sensitive and open to what's been said after a little more time has passed.
Lastly, consider getting professional feedback on your writing. Part of my job as an editor is to listen to previous feedback the writer has gotten, figure out whether the readers were tracking the scent of legitimate problems, and offer the writer more coherent solutions. Of course, some professional editors aren't very good at this, just like some non-professional readers are amazing at it, so hiring someone isn't a guarantee. But editors usually have more experience taking a look under the hood and giving writers sound mechanical advice about their work, rather than spouting ideas off the top of their head that only add to the writer's confusion.
Hope this helps!
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tsukii0002 · 2 months ago
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I’d like to request a situation with an MC with periods so bad they sometimes need to go to the hospital.
The house is suspiciously silent, the brothers are worried because they haven't seen Mc all day.
Mammon: *sighing as he enters Mc's room' Mc? are you here?
Mc: *curled up in a ball on the bed* Yeeees.
Mammon: … MC!!!!!
Lucifer: *coming quickly* What's going on????
Mammon: Mc is dying!!!!!
Mc: Noo, well yes, but not literally this time.
Satan: *coming in, clearly concerned* What have you eaten this time??? What medical condition haven't you told us about? ????
Mc: It's not a medical condition, well yes, but not…. *shrinks in pain*
The brothers: Mc!!!
Asmo: Talk to me Mc *with tears in his eyes*, what's wrong honey???
Mc: It's my period… it hurts…..
Levi: *panicking* But don't you have your period every month?….. You have a noxious period that you haven't told us about????!
Mc: It's my normal period… but sometimes it hurts so much that I need to be admitted to the hospital….
The brothers: !!!!
Beel: *trying to comfort them* Does your body also interpret it as something dangerous????
Mc: … I don't know*with an expression of extreme pain*, but that would explain a lot...
Belphie: *nervous* I knew it, you are bad made, aren't you?
Mc: That…ug…yes, I am bad made.
Mammon: Don't worry Mc, the great Mammon will save you!!!!
Levi: How do you save them from their own body??? we need… we need more external solutions!!!!
Mc: I just need tranquility, comfort, and the strongest pain pills you can find in the dam Devildom….
All the brothers get ready to go out to look for what Mc asks them.
Mc: Being in hell… Do I need more punish-? ugggg.
.
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I'm sorry for the delay, my source of creativity has dried up and it's hard for me to write. But better late than never!
Thank you very much for the suggestion and, as always, thanks for reading 🩷.
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fafefae · 10 months ago
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thinking about how in episode four after angel yells at husk. husk realized two things and then did them.
he first realized that he went about looking at angel all wrong, and shared a piece of his own painful past to rectify that. he recognized someone going through what he's going through, and shared a piece of his past to get angel to realize that too.
and secondly, husk doesn't try to comfort angel about it. he knows that the last thing anyone in angels position wants to hear is empty comfort, and he realizes that. so what he says in response to that realization is this:
"You've lost your way, you think your life is wrecked, well let me just say you're correct."
he AFFIRMS angels feelings, because husk IS in angels position. the song isnt husk taking a jab at angel when hes down. its an acknowledgement of his pain, which is EXACTLY what angel needed.
sure a solution to the problem would be nice and probably preferred, but a solution is just NOT possible right now, so the next best thing husk can do is acknowledge that pain and tell him "yeah, its fucked up, and its okay to be fucked up about how fucked up it is."
"There was a time I thought that no one could relate, to the gruesome ways in which I'm damaged, but letting walls down it can sometimes set you straight..."
because they're both survivors, and husk knows that being able to have someone to lean on while you're going through something thats impossible to escape from is the best way of coping with it. and even then, he doesnt make fun of angels coping mechanisms. angel can drink and do drugs and have sex all he wants, husk doesnt care.
"It's okay to be a-" "coked-up dick-sucking hoe?" "Baby that's fine by me."
but husk wont let him self destruct with these coping mechanisms. he wont let angel actually hurt himself, because theres a difference between coping via it, and using it to hammer the hurt in more, and the only time husk stepped in with angel was when he knew angel was in danger of hurting himself with it.
fuck. theyre both losers man. FUCK!
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hazelfoureyes · 4 months ago
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HAZELLLL OH BOY DO I HAVE A GOOD IDEAAAA
OKOK so what if doe! Reader is with vox and readers in heat right right????
But vox can't help reader break it (he's been trying for hours)
So he has to call alastor to help you since he's the only deer vox knows of
Oh my goddd
Hohoho good night awquar 💖
Cucking Vox
「warnings/promises: Vox x Female doe reader, Alastor x female doe reader, smut, Cucking the TV man, knotting, heat, pussy flooded, Alastor says “good girl”, hell is heaven now, you’re engaged but meh, drones were not made for this, Breeding???, humilation of the flat headed prince, Vox loves you, but your pussy love Alastor」
Minors I stg! DNI!
It had been all morning. He didn’t mind the stamina required, but his love was still suffering. Nothing was satiating your needs, even when he went out of his way to transform his typically human male prick into something more akin to the wider based cock you needed …. It was still not enough.
As you laid supine and open, the artificial knot full and stuck in you, the whines didn’t stop. It didn’t have the heat your cunt knew a proper mate would have. His load was too small, your womb quivering in need with every pathetic release he buried in you. A real knot would pulse with the heart rate of the buck claiming you. 
“Nothing?” Vox’s voice was high and worried. 
“I mean… it’s something.” Grumbled into a pillow. You ground against him but it was useless to calm your burning walls. Ever hour that passed without being properly fucked became torturous. 
“What does it feel like? Not getting, ya know,” suddenly he felt shy, voicing the thing he was lacking, “knotted.”
You considered sparing him the truth but your animal brain said it before your human one could stop it, “It hurts. It feels like my pussy is on fire. Do you know how sometimes the roof of your mouth itches and you can’t scratch it? That. For fucking hours.”
Seeing you in pain hurt him, deeper than he could handle. How could he have so much money and power and feel so worthless for you now?
Did he truly have no resources? No recourse? No remedy? 
As he watched your large doe ears press back into your skull, the solution came to him.
“One minute babe, you just…” Vox halted as you rolled on your side, fingers coming to your center to have some friction, “Keep doing that…”
· · ─────── ·📺📻· ─────── · ·
When the drone approached his patio table,  he didn’t look up. 
When Vox’s voice crackled through the small speaker, he didn’t look up.
When the question, “How much for you to fuck my fiancée?” was shouted at him, he admittedly choked a little on his coffee and finally acknowledged the device.
“Why on earth would I do that?” Alastor set the mug down to keep from breaking it in his hand.
“To humiliate me.”
A beat.
A hum.
A twirl of his staff.
“Well in that case, for free!”
Vox blinked twice as he stared at the monitor, “Wait, really?”
Alastor mulled it over seriously now. Did he want to have sex right now? No, not really. Did the idea of making Vox’s future wife scream his name sound hilarious? Yes absolutely. 
He shrugged, getting up from his chair as the drone spun around him, “Shit, I didn’t expect you to agree.”
“So you don’t want me to bed your gal?” Alastor smiled, “Then I’m definitely in.”
Vox chewed on a claw, “Fuck! Fine just get down here. And I don’t owe you any favors for this, so don’t even fucking ask.”
“Oh Vox, favors? You’re hardly the one I’d go to when in need. You’re not even the first Vee I’d approach! Ha!”
Before he could crash the drone directly into that smug face, he heard your whimpers from the bedroom down the hall and paused. 
“Just”, Vox cradled his screen in his hands, “hurry up.”
It became immediately clear why his former partner had called him of all people when Alastor exited the elevator into Vox’s personal floor.
The living quarters were swimming in the heady scent of arousal. Specifically, a doe. 
Alastor rolled his eyes, of course Vox found one of the few other deer demons in the pride ring to marry.
“Ooh, you are in a pickle, huh?” He leaned against the door frame, taking in the sight of the overlord rubbing your back as you groaned. His eyes fell immediately to the downturned tail above your bare cheeks. “Poor thing.” He cooed.
You couldn’t find the will to turn your head to look. A growled, “Voxy?”
“He’s here to help, babe.” His hands sped up their massaging swirls.
“Who, exactly?”
“Alastor! The radio demon. A plea-,” He began but couldn’t finish. 
Vox laughed nervously, “He’s a deer demon! Like you!” 
“You grabbed a random deer demon off the street to-,”
“No! Not at all! Though, admittedly, the only other deer demon I know.” As you made a noise of disapproval, he added, “He’s an overlord! An old pal, even.”
You heard the strange man guffaw. Finally, you rolled over to lay eyes on the supposed cavalry your beau had summoned.
Oh. 
“Hmm.” Something in you unspoken yet still demanding made you roll into your back and drop your knees open. 
He hadn’t anticipated a fellow deer in heat. Vox had offered him more than just fucking his girl, it turned out. Alastor had come mostly expecting to laugh in Vox’s face as a second best humiliation and head to cannibal town, but seeing how Vox was so desperately in love, well, how could he say no? What more delicious of a meal could exist than splitting open Vox’s ego while splitting open his doe with the same effort.
Still on the bed, Vox felt the air shift as he stood between Alastor and you. 
“Well, I uh, guess I’ll leave you two to it.” His screen flashed a pink haze of embarrassment.
“Oh? Abandoning her already?” With a snap and a flourish of his fingers, a plush reading chair materialized on the opposite side of the bed. “Take a seat, old chum.”
“You can’t be serious.” 
Alastor loosened his bowtie, “You’d really leave your vulnerable and needy betrothed all alone with a man? Tsk tsk.”
Vox laughed, “You’re not a man.”
“Ooh, correct.” Alastor reached the bed, undoing his belt, “I’m a buck, right little one?” When his hand reached out and slid down your calf you trembled. Even his skin on yours felt different than Vox’s. “Now take a seat.”
His flat face turned to you, who could only nod as a long claw dragged down your shin.
Vox settled into his chair and crossed his arms. He wanted to say something snotty about how he would make more money on his cell during the little romp than Alastor could dream of, but the sound of Alastor’s zipper made his throat close.
“I’ll need a little assistance to catch up to you, sweetheart. Mind lending me a hand?” Alastor rested his knees on either side of your thighs,  body hovering over you as he knelt.
You briefly considered arguing, but as his other hand pulled his still soft cock from his pants and the scent of him hit your heightened senses, you found your body sitting up. Your hand went into his as he placed it around himself. His fist around yours as he showed you how to stroke him.
“Is that really necessary?” Vox’s voice seemed to glitch.
“Of course! I’m only capable of knotting when in rut. And a rut can only be triggered by a doe in heat. I’ll need her touch and scent to … get the show started, so to speak.” Alastor’s hand left yours, index finger coming to lift your chin. The first eye contact of the evening, funnily enough coming after skin met skin. 
Deep red eyes shone down on you behind a widening smile, “Good girl. I’ll take care of you.”
“You’re obnoxious.” You slurred, a second wave of his uniquely virile musk rolling off his heated crotch. “Good girl? You just met me you….Old timey…”, the lights in your brain shut off, “fuck. Fuck.” Your mind was a blank piece of paper, the word ‘breed’ scrawled haphazardly as your hand felt the weight of his erection. 
Vox had never seen you make that face, nor your eyes lose focus and dilate quite like that either. He couldn’t help but glance at the thick appendage in your fist.
A look shot to his own lap, he hadn’t considered girth into the equation… 
Your mouth opened, saliva pooling in your cheeks as you brought him to your lips. Alastor’s hand snaked back to grab you by the hair and gently keep you off of him, not needing someone’s spit slathered on his skin. 
“Okay now-“ As Vox interjected Alastor’s hand sat still on your head.
“I’ll allow it.” The radio demon had a change of heart at the upset tone of his former friend.
Your tongue blanketed your bottom lip to welcome Alastor in, cheeks hollowing from the size of him alone. Why did he taste like that? Like someone you should only view from your knees? A power to his sweat that made your pussy clench. 
Just a few bobs of your head and he was pulling you off, the job done when Vox seemed to slouch back into the chair in resignation. Large and warm hands guided you onto your back and then onto your right side. Your line of sight was your husband-to-be, claws digging into the fabric of his summoned chair.
It was nice to be handled in your heat. To have strong hands move you around your bed as they wanted you, that alone nearly distracted you from the throbbing of your pussy now showing behind your thighs. Alastor lifted your left leg and used it to pull you to him, a wanton whimper from you when he lined up.
His chuckle was more than annoying, but you were in no position to argue. The sound of impatient tapping momentarily took your focus away; Vox’s foot hitting the tile floor. Your eyes followed up his body to meet his stare just in time for you to let out a loud, shakey gasp. Another came before you could catch your breath, the stretch burning as Alastor pressed in.
He began small incessant thrusts, your slick lubricating his intrusion with each withdrawal.
Vox watched entranced as your body seemed to melt into the bed with every snap of the deer man’s hips. You had spent the morning tense and sweating, so to see you so lax and comfortable was momentarily reassuring. But as your head lolled back with Alastor bottoming out, a flame of jealousy began to roar in sincerity. 
“Fuck,” you tried to keep the commentary down to spare your love, but you could feel your walls spreading around Alastor in a way you’d been praying for since you woke up aroused and pained. When he was fully sheathed you had to grip your pillow to keep from rolling onto your back and spreading yourself wider for him. The baser part of your brain urging you to give yourself over to the more-than-suitable mate. 
“You sweet doe, you’re burning up inside. And so swollen. Feeling better?” Alastor said it with such a clear voice you wondered how he was unaffected by your twitching pussy. 
With a nod you buried your face into the pillow clenched in your fists. His thrusts slowed. “Yes,” you ground out. The rhythm picked up again.
“Better than Vox could manage?” He side eyed Vox.
Your left foot came up and pushed at his chin, “Shut up and fuck me.”
“Hmm, afraid I can’t do both,” Alastor pulled out entirely, lower head rubbing side to side as he spread his own precum along your folds. 
Closing your eyes to not see Vox, you mumbled, “Yes.” He wrapped his arms around your left leg for leverage and thrust back into you with a single push. With a shift of his hips his cock hit against your g-spot with every entry. Your breaths quickly devolved into raspy gasps.
You felt a rush of slick as your body responded to the stimulation. The sound of Alastor’s cock sliding in and out of your arousal reached Vox despite being a ways away from the bed. The previous flame in his chest began to lower. Watching your body rock along with the obscene sounds of you being fucked was having an unexpected effect on him. With a gulp he let his hand rest on his lap, a gentle pressure as he palmed his growing erection.
The deep reach of the radio demon’s cock churning up your insides was felt by you and seen by Vox.
“You’re doing so well, dear. Look how wet you’ve gotten.” One hand came down to run past your clit, “I promise to have you dripping.” He turned his head fully to Vox now, “That’s why I’m here, after all. To breed you.” Vox opened his mouth to shout when Alastor rolled you onto your stomach. The curve of his dick resumed hitting your inner spot, wide cock dragging against every inch of your walls. A pleasured cry, your pillow lost. Bringing your legs up and out you let instincts take over.
The yell died in Vox’s throat. His hand shifted to rubbing his cock through his pants. “Are you done yet?” He saw the swelling bulge at the base of Alastor’s own cock.
You didn’t hear the question, only processing sticky flesh slapping together and your own loud moans.
“My knot needs to be bigger. I want to make sure I plug her up well.” Alastor knew he could finish now but he just needed a few more moments of fucking with the overlord. His eyes came to watch himself disappear into your seemingly too small hole, “Is that what you want? To be stuffed with my knot?” 
You vaguely registered his gaze had moved from where you two connected up to your face. A hand coming to tug at your tail and grip it from the base tore an answer from you, “Please. Please, Please.”
“Do you remember my name in that brain fog?” He took both ankles now and pushed your legs as wide open as they’d reach.
Vox could see the shine on Alastor’s growing knot as he seemed to push more and more in with each thrust. His palm felt the slight damp of his precum soaking through his pants.
He had a name? Right. Yes he had a name. You dug through the mess of your thoughts, an empty room of smoke and sensations, and found it. “Alastor. Alastor please!” Vox had entirely disappeared, it was just the thick cocked buck pounding into you in your bed now. 
“Aww, that’s a good doe. And are you ready for my knot?” Your legs struggled in his grip as you attempted to thrust back onto him to take all he had for you. He hummed, hips slowly as he fought back the pending release, “But you’re still so tight… did Vox even try to fuck you?” 
Vox cried out a small, “Oh, come on. Jackass.” It didn’t stop his hand though. He couldn’t argue Alastor was thicker than he was, even his knot seemed unfairly large.
“Fuck you,” you managed, stomach muscles tightening and drawing your body toward him as the pleasure ratcheted up by leaps and bounds. 
Alastor pulled out entirely again, releasing your legs. The whimper you let out momentarily softened Vox’s cock. “I’m sorrrrry,” you pouted, “Come baaaack.” You thought you would cry, as soon as he was out of your cunt the painful throb was creeping back in. You needed his skin on yours. His body in yours. 
You were rolled onto your stomach, his hands wrapping around to pick you up by the hips. On all fours, he sunk back in. “Shh,” big palms stroke down your back, “don’t forget to breath, sweetheart.” Your body was meant to take a knot during heat and you knew you were capable of taking it, but a small panic made you crawl up the bed as the large, throbbing bulb threatened to tear the delicate skin of your opening. Those same powerful hands you praised before now dug fingers into your hips and held you still. Bruises he hoped Vox would have to see for days. 
A small sob as he mercifully forced the rest of himself in with one harsh thrust, his crotch finally coming into contact with your ass. Again, without thinking, you pulled away and saw stars. It took just a second though for your brain to flood your body with the feel good chemicals it had been withholding all day. The pulsing knot vibrating against your puffy g-spit, wide cock head just barely breaching your cervix and flooding your womb and walls with thick cum; it was everything you needed. Your vision went white as your orgasm made your thighs give out, body going limp entirely.
Vox knew very well what it meant as your entire body trembled, hips stuck against Alastor as the rest of you went boneless.
Alastor took a deep breath. It was oddly refreshing, a form of stress relief he hadn’t considered before. Long claws made barely there lines up and down your thighs.
Pressing his chest into your back, he carefully grabbed your body and rolled you onto your side again to face Vox, him still behind you.
Vox stood up, saw the tenting of his pants and sat back down, throwing one left over the other, “Well! That’s finally done with. You can get the fuck out as soon as your freak penis goes back to normal.”
Alastor laughed, your mind entirely having checked out in your blissful state. Your stupid and content smile spread wide as his body shook slightly behind you. He propped himself up on his elbow to look at Vox.
“You went through all the trouble of finding one of the few other deer demons in hell to replace me, yet didn’t bother to learn about her biology.” His grin morphed into a smirk so wide his black gums were showing, “Heats last several days, Voxy.”
༻Masterlist༺
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Added July 15th Luci x GN!Angel reader - Yes (Continuation of Lucifer x GN!AngelReader (fic based on Griftwood by ghost))
Added July 14th A Very Hazbin Happy Birthday imagine (Alastor, Luci, Angel, Charlie, Vaggie, Husk, Vox, Valentino)
˖ ݁𖥔.Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult.𖥔 ݁ ˖
@eris-norwega @reath-solia
@cxrsedwxrlds , @nonetheartist , @tsunaki , @janchei , @moonmark98
, @readergirlstuff , @berry-demon , @chirimeimei , @fairyv-ice , @olive-frog ,
@thonethatflies620 , @tiredkiwiii , @ilikemyteawithmilk , @whateverlololo , @psipies ,
@howabouticallyou , @roxxie-wolf , , @fizzled-phoenix , @whateverlololo
, @a-case-of-attachment , @multifandomfanatic02 @watereddownmilk , @bontensbabygirl
, @hoebihoeshi , @pansexual-opera-house , @polytheatrix , @lorddiabigmommymilkers , @backinthefkingbuildingagain ,
@harley2223-blog , @poinappel , @midnightnoiserose , @spookieroz , @missmidorima a ,
@ivebeenthearchersstuff , @downbadforfictionalppl , @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx , @sleepylittledemon , @aether-th3-enby ,
@dontfuckbutimfab , @breathlessaura , @aperfectidiot , @certainlygay , @jth12 ,
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sleepy-grav3 · 5 months ago
Text
The Moon Child Part 2
Part 1
A/n: Wow. I posted the first part to this and you guys like- rushed to it like starving animals holy SHIT... Should I be scared???? anyway- here ya go
Summary: Danny meets the Aqua Family and gets the love he deserves, plus a little comfort.
Tw: hurt/comfort, bad parents, mentioned discrimination, angst, ghost animal cruelty, swears, objectification, fluff
I forgot to mention Danny goes by he/they pronouns, Atlanteans know a lot of animals, and gender is weird sometimes so they aren't assuming anything and that's fair since Danny could shapeshift if he wants
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The Moon Child Part 2 - The Moon Loves the Sea
Warm. He felt warm while in his core. And he could feel the soft cushion he was placed on. He heard the stories that Aquaman Arthur would tell him about all of his adventures and the rambles about his family. He was even told the secret about his stepbrother, Orm, who's death was faked and now lived on land.
It was... nice. Safe. He hadn't felt so loved in a long time. Or, at least, he thinks he hasn't. He had lost track of time while in the labs. It was painful to think about. Visibly so. Apparently, when he drifted into those dreadful terrors, his core's soft light would flicker into a dimmer one which resonated with his sobs. Arthur or his wife, who would keep him beside them at all times, would pick him up each time and hold him close to their heart.
"It's alright" They would say. "You're safe now."
Their heartbeat would always calm him down. It pulsed out reassuring feelings with each beat of their hearts. It was soothing and he never felt so safe. Not even when he was alive. To think he needed to die to feel this way.
It took a while for the pain to finally go away, but he soon felt ready to come out of his core. He couldn't recuperate as much as he wanted to. Not to use his full abilities of his ghost powers. No, there wasn't a massive supply of ambient ectoplasm like in Amity. He learned that what he was absorbing the most was the magic, which acted as a saline solution to blood (which he was pretty sure his blood was fully ectoplasm now).
It was interesting how magic tied in with ectoplasm. He wondered if that's why summoning worked best for those in the realms for that reason. Maybe the specific rituals to summon them even tied closely with their ecto-signatures? It's an interesting thought really.
That isn't the point though. What is, is that he was healthy enough to come out of his core.
"Ok, Danny. Deep breath. Here we go-"
-
Arthur was doing his usual thing: struggling to wake up in the morning and only really doing it because he didn't want to worry the literal spirit of a god. And it's not even because they're a god, but because they're a child. Should he have kept them in the same room. He feels like that might've been a better choice than just leaving them in a room next to his.
Arthur shook his head, rubbing his eyes as he swung his legs over the edge only to jump at the cold feeling of the floor.
"All kinds of water magic and they still can't stop the floor from being cold."
He huffed, getting up and picking out some casual wear that didn't have a bunch of jewelry with protection runes. Some normal clothes to hang out with family.
Kaldur came back yesterday, so they're having breakfast together. He hoped that he'd believe the whole moon deity thing. Kaldur was pretty good and believing new things, but this was their main religion they're talking about. Religion is iffy, or at least it was for those on land. The ocean folk are... extremely loyal.
Should he worry about them trying to destroy the new moon...?
He shook his head. No, they probably couldn't get past the layers of the atmosphere. Hopefully.
He walked out of the door, now thinking about how sea creatures would even pull that off before knocking on the door of the room next to his.
"It is uh, me. Again." It never sounds less awkward. Maybe I should try adding the dramatics?
And with a twist and push, he opened the door only to freeze with widening eyes. The stone wasn't there.
"Oh my god- I lost-"
Only to hear a chirp. he flinched, attention darting over to the full body mirror on the other side of the door that pushed into the room. A door he was going to have fixed to avoid heart attacks like these.
He let out a huge sigh of relief, walking over and bending down with a crooked grin.
"Well, good morning. I didn't expect you to appear for a while. But hey! Perfect timing! Kaldur's going to be joining us during breakfast today, so we could introduce you guys! We could meet Orm soon too! I bet he'll be absolutely surprised!"
The child only looked at him with their big wide doe eyes. Hope sparked in them, but anxiety kept their body tense.
"You... You were serious about it? About me meeting your family?"
Arthur placed a hand on their shoulder, he could barely notice the cool temperature of their body before he saw them jump. He was going to pull away his hand, but then the child relaxed a bit more. It was as if they hadn't had affectionate physical contact in a long time.
"Have they ever been anything but a moon? Are all moons like this? What about other planets? Earth... we have so much pollution. If it were alive..., would it only just barely be clinging?"
"Yes, I was and still am. You're a part of it now for as long as we live. And even when we pass, you will continue to have a place in the ocean. You might not have realized this, but the ocean worships you like a god. In fact, I think I'm going to have to talk with the Justice League about offering an apology gift of some sort."
The child blinked, eyes wide and glistening as a layer of moisture sparkled more yet made the eye look foggy. Looking closer, Arthur could see how moonstones came to be when they cried. It would hurt if it was a literal stone the kid cried. Like- like kidney stones! He was thankful that it wasn't like that.
"You... You aren't scared of me being dangerous to them? You don't think I'm evil or non-sentient?"
Arthur blinked. What?
"No... Nobody- Why would anybody think that?"
The child pursed his lips into a thin line, averting his eyes. With each blink, a silvery white liquid would start to drip and condense to the moonstones he found.
"I... don't know how things work around here... But on land... I've... They don't respect the dead or those associated to the concept. I've tried to keep both sides from trying to destroy the other- but... but..."
Arthur took a breath, pulling the spirit into his arms into a tight embrace. They clung to their veil that was wrapped around their arms like a shawl.
It seems that he had some lore to read up upon and some things to investigate.
-
(This bit's about Danny's POV. It'll be continuing with his while he meets everyone)
Danny didn't know what to think when he looked at himself in the mirror earlier. He didn't have a shirt, but the scarf thing was comfy. He could make it into some kind of make-shift shirt if he wanted to too. His memory on how to do it was... foggy and fractured. Some parts of speech were muffled and what he saw from that time would blur or seemed made up.
He knew the person teaching him.
Why can't he remember them clearly? He could hear whispers of something in his head telling him who that was.
And when he pushed that thought aside, he'd look back at other memories and realize who that was.
Tucker. How could he ever forget about Tucker? Why was he forgetting him?
What made it worse was how much he had to stare at the damn mirror to get the knots right. His chest... it wasn't ever that clean. No Lichtenberg scars. No burns, no cuts, no incision scars. Nothing. It was clean of any of his failures. His struggles. His learning experiences.
And yet... he still imagined them being there. Each time his fingers would brush up against places where he knew scars should've been, a shot of pain would spike as if he'd been electrocuted.
It hurt.
He hated how he remembered.
He hated that he didn't.
He used to remember all of it. He did when he was sobbing for days on end.
Now, it was foggy. Now, it was hidden away. He couldn't reach it.
"Oh my god- I lost-"
He chirped in surprise, turning with widened eyes. Oh. It's just Arthur. I really need to get out of my head.
Arthur walked over, looking slightly drained, as if he was relieved of a sudden weight placed on his shoulders. And by the vibes, Danny's guess seemed right.
Relieved Happy Happy Excited Nervous Happy
He was always so cheery in the... well, what seemed to be the day. Sucks to be out now that he thought about it. It would be rude to just fall asleep at random now that they could physically see if he's awake or not.
Arthur greeted him warmly, cheerily saying how he didn't expect him to come out of his core as if the event was a surprise gift. That... was confusing to say the least. It's easier to have a pet rock than a guest. Now he has to feed him to be polite, or at least offer. He has the room covered since the beginning. It was a really big room. A waste for something someone like him.
He felt his body freeze and start muffling sounds when Arthur started mentioning Kaldur and Orm. His family. Close ones, from the stories he would tell.
M4Dd13 and J4Ck would never allow strangers near him, much less Jazz.
"You... You aren't scared of me being dangerous to them?" He couldn't stop the questions from slipping out even when his expression shifted. "You don't think I'm evil or non-sentient?"
He doesn't even know how he could even think of himself as otherwise. He could remember the custom-made, high voltage tasers that targets his ecto-signature itself until he acted how they expected him to. How they wanted him to.
His eyesight became extremely cloudy. It was similar to the green he'd see before he would start crying after he couldn't cry water anymore.
Ghosts... Ghosts cry ectoplasm. What... What was he crying? What is he now? He was- Why wasn't he gone? He was Ended, wasn't he? They got rid of his heart and crushed his core to determine the durability- there wasn't a way to come back from that.
So why was he alive?
Why can't he-
"-think that?"
Shit- he wasn't paying attention.
Danny couldn't bare to look at the man, guilt eating away at him.
"I... don't know how things work around here..."
He could barely register that it was his voice.
"But on land... I've..."
Why was he still touching his shoulder?
Why isn't he disgusted?
Why isn't he scared?
Why isn't he angry?
"They don't respect the dead or those associated to the concept. I've tried to keep both sides from trying to destroy the other- but... but..."
But they destroyed me instead.
It was all for nothing.
Why didn't he listen to the Ancients?
Why did he just kill people?
They already expected him to do so anyway.
So why didn't he?
He couldn't feel the hug he was pulled into until he stopped crying.
What was he even crying about?
-
Ok so- Maybe Danny should start scheduling his breakdowns. So far, he's had ones at random or ones that goes on for multiple days without any stopping. Or- if he did stop, he really doesn't remember them.
But this is getting embarrassing. He was lucky Kaldur came home late or else they might've either came late or completely missed the breakfast reunion.
Ugh- and don't get him started with anxiety.
His eyes must be puffy or something. Great first impression, Danny! All ya gotta do now is cry again in front of everyone to make it one of the worst introductions in life.
Well, it wasn't really a good start even without him. Arthur had just dropped him onto a very cushiony chair and exclaimed: "Thank the seas! I'm starving!" And just went to devour a whole plate before calming down a bit with Mera scolding him.
He was just awkwardly watching until a plate was placed in front of him. He slightly tensed, attention going from his plate to the hand pulling away from the plate now that it was down. That's when his eyes made contact with Kaldur's. He seemed a bit startled to, as he blinked owlishly before smiling politely.
"Hello, I'm Kaldur'Ahm. You may call me Kaldur."
"U-um.. I'm..." What should he be called now? Phantom didn't feel as right anymore. Ah, what the heck. It's not like they know little ol' Danny Fenton. "I'm Danny." For some reason, that name didn't feel too right either.
"It's a pleasure to meet you. I've heard that you've been in a stone, so I was surprised to see you carried in by fa- Arthur."
Curious Happy Happy Nervous
Danny relaxed a bit, turning to his plate once eye contact became too difficult. He picked at his food
"I didn't have much strength when I first formed. I wasn't meant to even have a body but I... didn't want to be discovered and have my core cut up and carved into for some jewelry or something, so I forced myself. you could say it's like... an energy conservation form."
Danny started to actually eat his food, though a bit quicker than he usually would. Stress eating, how lovely.
"Is it a lot of work to stay as you are now? You don't have to stay like this if you're too drained." Kaldur started to fret for him, looking for any sign of strain.
Danny, feeling the worry from him, smiled. It's been a while since someone was worried for him.
"I recovered enough energy that I have a bit extra. I can't do a lot of the things I could before, but I don't feel any pain anymore. So, I'll be fine."
Kaldur relaxed a bit, though still held a slight frown.
"Tell me if you ever feel anything. I'm more than able to hold onto your core and protect you."
Danny hummed, continuing to eat. That's about the time Kaldur remembered that it was breakfast time and started- no, continued to eat from his plate. He must've served himself when Arthur started to or even before that.
"Hey hey hey! Now that the kid's awake, why don't we take a family trip toooooooooo" He dragged out the word as Mera glared at him. "-my brother's grave! I bet he'd love to meet you! And on the way, we can go to the burger place and shop for some clothes, meet my dad-"
Danny looked over at Kaldur, who shook his head fondly at his obvious father-figure. Really, that slip up wasn't getting past him, no way, not possible.
"Don't mind him." Mera sighed. "He's an idiot."
"Hey!"
"Danny, you could always say no. We could go a different day." Kaldur mentioned.
"Danny?" Arthur questioned. Mera rolled her eyes.
"Pay attention, will you?"
"No, it's fine." Danny shook his head with a nervous smile. "I'd like to see him too."
"GREAT!" Arthur exclaimed, making Danny jump and Kaldur wince at the volume. "Hurry and finish your meals! I'll call over the pups!" and then he ran off.
"Pups?" Danny asked.
"Sharks." Mera clarified with a fond sigh. "Ever since he heard someone call them sea puppies, he's been calling them pups and puppies ever since."
"That's... really cute actually." Danny snickered.
"He sneaks away to play with them all the time." Kaldur groaned, remembering the number of meetings he had to take over for the man.
Danny reached over and patted Kaldur's forearm.
"You poor child."
"At least you understand."
-
Kaldur... well, Danny didn't really know how to put it. He was really nice and all, but he was a bit...
"These earrings would look great on you." Kaldur hummed as he held up dangling pearls to his ears.
Kaldur's already bought 3 bags of stuff for him in the last 20 minutes since coming to Reef Town (completely made-up place, just go with it). He even had to adjust his ghost clothes so he could wear the pants and shirt, and other stuff that were bought for him. He still kept the veil since it was really soft and soothed him when he rubbed it between his fingers.
"Ah, but this goes with your clothing... Perhaps we should order one to be made in Atlantis?" Kaldur trailed off, mumbling about different shops and what materials they had along with design names Danny had no clue about. He was almost sure that some of those words were made-up with how they sounded.
"Oookaaayyy- how about we think this over later?" Arthur insisted, a hand on Kaldur's shoulder and the other taking away the earrings in his hands. "We have someone to meet in... about 5 minutes."
"Right, sorry! I got distracted-"
"You're fine, you little urchin." Arthur chuckled, pushing Kaldur towards the door. "Now let's go meet Orm!"
Danny felt a hand on his head. It was a gentle, motherly touch. It nearly made his core let out a purr. Only Jazz could do that with touch alone. Though he nearly started to do the same when they'd mark where they'd cut next. They didn't do that as often with how much they liked to see his organs and bones regenerate.
"Tell Kaldur if it's too much. He's just really excited to have you around and is used to having to give something to keep sea creature friends around."
Ah, he knew that voice.
"Ex..cited? Why?" Danny looked up at Mera, leaning into her touch.
Mera smiled down sweetly at him; her eyes were filled with love that would be pointed to her own child.
She didn't have that drunken lust M4Dd13 had in her eyes each time she came back.
It made his core flutter.
"He sees you as a younger sibling. He's wanted one for a little while now. I... I can't get myself to try again, so he didn't expect to have a sibling. He was really excited to meet you after he heard that you agreed to stay with Arthur. You didn't reject my touch either. I hope it was fine that I held your... core, was it?"
Danny felt her finger card through his hair. He melted at the soothing touch.
"Yeah. It's... it's everything to a ghost. Heart and soul. And... I heard about you from Arthur while I was in my core. And you were the reason Arthur knew to comfort me. So, I knew I could trust you."
Mera smiled a bit more brightly and knelt down, hands holding his face with all the love in the world before she placed a kiss on his forehead.
"I'm glad. Now, let's go catch up with the boys. I'm sure Kaldur and Arthur must be panicking."
Danny could barely follow after her, having to make himself float as she grabbed his hand to lead him outside. Everything was too fuzzy and happy; it was hard to focus.
-
"Did you kidnap a child spirit?!"
That was the first thing Orm said when he saw Danny, immediately looking at Arthur incredulously as he slammed the table with his hands.
He immediately walked over and knelt down in front of Danny.
"I am so sorry about him-"
"Hey! I didn't-"
"-he's an idiot and really doesn't know any better."
"I didn't kidnap him!"
Orm arched a brow at his brother before looking over at Mera.
"No contracts were made."
Orm looked back at Danny.
"You went with him willingly?"
Danny snickered. "He looked like an idiot."
"You too?!"
"You really can't blame him." Kaldur agreed, smiling over at Danny.
Danny giggled and looked back at Orm.
"I'm Danny."
"Orm, that idiot's older brother. Stepbrother. Now, why did a saintly spirit decide to tag along with this family?"
Mera walked over, placing a hand on Danny's head again. He leaned into it, barely able to keep in a purr.
"You remember the incident with the moon?" Orm nodded. "Well, they're the spirit of the moon."
Orm's eyes widened, head snapping right back to Danny.
"You- you're-"
Danny blinked. He's a what? Wait, not the time to dissociate-
"Is... Is that bad?" Danny hesitantly asked.
"No! Not at all- I just- I've always believed in you, it's just that- Seeing an idol is a bit of an experience-"
"An idol?" Danny questioned, looking up at Orm. He was still kneeling, doesn't that hurt?
"Well, I've heard stories about how you'd battle against the sun gods and sent blessed rain to heal those under incurable plagues. That you split your own soul to assist physically on this world to help those that roamed on it! I've traveled to different places on the land just to see your descendants. And what beautiful white features they have. Did you know that humans call them albinos?"
"Really?"
"Yes! They deserve a better name that fits the position of blessed descendants! The fools!"
"I-it's fine, really! I'm glad they're doing ok and- and that my blessing still lives on."
Orm sighed and stood up.
"You're much too kind. Even after they replaced you, you don't hold it against anyone."
Oddly enough, he felt his chest tighten. It was as if...
"Someone has to do my job in controlling the currents, right?" Danny smiled sadly.
The others seemed to feel sympathy for the spirit, Kaldur going over and pulling him into a hug.
"It's alright. The ocean will stand by your side. Forever. They still worship you even now. So don't think you were only a tool, ok?"
Danny nodded. "Ok.."
He fought back against the tears.
-----
A/n: well, that was a bit longer than the last one. I was planning to write more for this chapter, but I'll just add it to the next one. Sorry if it seems a bit stiff, it'll be better eventually... hopefully.
Anyway, hope you enjoyed.
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leisureflame · 7 months ago
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"I CANT THINK"
If you write, I assure you you have thought that.
Fear no more child, for I have found a solution.
it's called Rapid writing
something we learned when I was in 9th grade drama class and I cannot emphasize enough just how effective it is. Its actually what gave me the idea for my first book.
Stop what you are doing and do what I tell you
go grab either a pencil and paper (or open an empty document)
set a timer for 2 minutes
ask a friend to give you a random sentence. I have a few examples that I myself rapid wrote to: a) I looked around and saw b) the old lady hung from the ceiling and laughed c) purple paint dripped from her long purple fingernails d) there is a hole in my ceiling. e) when I am sad I... f) When you close the door, I... g) there is a wooden door with a gold doorknob
Now the most important thing is not to think of this sentence before you start writing. as soon as you decide which one if you are choosing from my examples (or as soon as you hear it if you are getting if from a friend), start the timer.
start writing the sentence and without hesitating just keep writing. the #1 rule here is to not stop or hesitate for a single second until the 2 minutes are over. you can write nonsense if you want and if you REALLY can't continue then write some random words for a couple of seconds then continue AS LONG AS YOU ARE STILL WRITING.
another rule is that you are not allowed to delete. even if its a spelling error, just ignore it.
after the timer is done, I promise you will have something to work with. now copy the paragraph you wrote and paste it below, here you can start fixing spelling errors and adding things at your own pace because now the creative side of your brain has opened.
don't think about the way you are writing or the words you use, think about the story you are telling. the idea.
Sometimes you will get something beautiful and deep like I did here:
When I am sad I go to my blanket, not many people know about it, all they think is happening is that a child likes to cuddle in a blanket, but no. my blanket has a special thing about it, it is a magical blanket, well, not the blanket itself but the embroidery on the blanket, it simply takes my sadness away but it adds the story of my emotions to the embroidery, my blanket is a very pretty one, it is a pastel blue color and it has so much silk embroideries that you just think its patterns, but it isn't, if you look deeper you will find stories every one of those stories came from someones tears... my tears. whenever i cry, i wipe my tears with my blanket and my pain goes but my story stays.
or
there is a wooden door with a gold doorknob on the door there is a painting of you, and there are many locks on the door from top to bottom, when you open the door, there is a mirror. this door is the door to self discovery, from the outside there is a painting of how people think you look like but when you open the door, you get to see what you really are in detail and look at yourself they way you want to, you can smile or cry and the refection on the mirror will change but on the painting, it doesn't show ur emotions, just how people see you usually.
or you can get something so stupid like i did here:
there is a hole in the ceiling in my classroom. everyday a dinosaur would a pear and eat my lunch and i keep coming home hungry but my mom dsays she packed me enough food. so she didn't feed me. i told her a dinasour was eating my lunch but she said that disasours only live in Norway! so i went into the school vents looking for that idino and revenge my food, we met at last, held our weapons, i was holding a subway sandwich and the dino was holding a bana na MY BANANA  i lost it, so i attacked him one hit on the head and the whole species were extinct , people thousand of years from now said dinos got extinct because of a meteorite but i know better, also i am still alive because whoever kills a dino becomes immortal, also i killed my mom for not believing me and let her starve in her grave just like she let made me starve. and then i killed everyone who was a flat earther because i hate them and now i can kill anyone once i tap them with my super subway sandwich 
(by the way, ignore the horrible spelling, the examples i gave were from the unedited version.)
THE POINT IS ITS ACTUALLY SO HELPFUL. you can use it for a new story idea (i used the blanket one as an element in one of my WIPs and it helped the story a lot) or if you get something stupid like the dino one I wrote THATS GOOD THATS FINE because now you have your creativity going.
I challenge you to actually try this and PLEASE share it with me I LOVE reading other peoples rapid writings. have fun <3
tagging @cosmosandcapybaras24 @ajsbookshelf @gloryofdawn, @chaoticharmony93 @deception-united and anyone else who's interested to try this out and share with me!
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lunaritex · 5 days ago
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𓏲࣪ ִֶָ ︎ִֶָ UNDER THE GLOVES 𖤐. — lee heeseung.
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(๑>◡<๑) ৎ୭ lee heeseung + fem! reader co-workers to lovers office romance reader is part of the finance department brief appearances of the other members 𐙚 warning fighting, blood, violence, tooth-rotting fluff, confession, one kiss scene, someone save riki . . !? & 3930 — navigation
note. i like office romance and why not write something for the CFO aka lee heeseung haha... @riekiss
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You let out a long and exhausted sigh, rubbing your temples as you looked away from the blinding screen of your computer. Hours had passed and you were still trying to figure out the solution for the problem you had encountered since eight in the morning. One glance at the time on the bottom right of the screen tells you it was close to five, which means you had wasted nearly the entire day wrecking your brain over a problem. You were tempted to slam your head against the desk, hoping the pain could make your brain cells come back to life. 
I need a break. 
Rubbing your eyes, you stood up and left your desk, heading to the pantry area to make a cup of much-needed coffee for yourself. You halted in your tracks when you realize someone was there before you. It was none other than the Chief Financial Officer of your company; Lee Heeseung. You remembered meeting him for the first time, back when you were still a newbie half a year ago. You remembered how you were practically trembling when your name was called and how you were instructed to see him in his office. 
Heeseung was not an intimidating person. You have seen how he interacts with his friends; Jay and Sunghoon. Both men were from different departments but they always had their lunch together and sometimes went drinking with other people who you do not recognize. However, a part of you finds him hard to talk to and if preferred, you would rather avoid him at all costs. You were not sure why you were acting this way. Perhaps it was due to your shyness or perhaps, it could be something more. 
“Oh, hi (Name), did you come here to catch a breather too?” Heeseung’s voice snapped you out of your trance. You blinked and saw your fellow co-worker leaning against the counter with a cup of freshly-brewed coffee held in his left hand. 
“Uh,” you opened and closed your mouth before regaining your composure, “yeah, I’ve been staring at the same sheet since morning and I’m nowhere done,” you sighed, entering the pantry to make a cup of coffee. 
The man gave you a sympathetic look as he took a sip from the paper cup. “That sounds rough, but I don’t mind helping you out. That is, if you don’t mind, of course.” 
You blinked, “A-Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to waste your time-” 
He dismissively waved off your response with his hand, “Nah, don’t worry about it. Besides, I don’t think helping a colleague out can be considered as wasting someone’s time. The sooner we get this done and over with, the sooner we can go home.” 
You knew he had a fair point with that and you ended up agreeing. The both of you returned to your desk and you watched as Heeseung sat on your chair, pulling himself forward to get a clearer look at the screen. You, on the other hand, stood behind him on his left, leaning against the wall that separates you from the other people seated around you. Since you were hidden from his view, this grants you the rare opportunity to stare at him.
It was with no doubt that Heeseung is attractive and you had seen how many women tried to woo him, be it during or after working hours. He is a gentleman who knows how to treat women right and not to mention, he is kind-hearted, friendly and the list goes on. Your eyes slowly trailed down his cheek outline and that was when you noticed it. 
A faint, tiny cut etched across his cheek, barely noticeable unless you looked closely. It was not the first time you had spotted something like this. A couple of weeks ago, it had been a bruise on his forearm, the yellowing edges suggesting it was healing. Before that, a small cut on his knuckles he brushed off as "nothing important." Each time, Heeseung had given you a vague response, quickly changing the subject or flashing his easygoing smile to disarm your curiosity. But this time, the suspicion gnawed at you a little harder.
Your gaze lingered on the faded mark, your mind racing with possibilities. Where did he keep getting these injuries? And why did he always seem so intent on hiding the truth behind them? As he straightened up and glanced at you with that ever-casual grin, you quickly looked away, pretending to focus on the computer screen. But the question had already planted itself firmly in your mind: What was Lee Heeseung hiding?
“...and that’s it. You just need to save it and you’re done for the day.” 
Heeseung’s voice snapped you back to reality. Blinking, you realized he had finished explaining and was looking at you expectantly. You felt embarrassed at how you were not listening to a single word he had said and you awkwardly cleared your throat. He sighed and light-heartedly rolled his eyes. 
“You weren’t listening, were you?” He questioned. 
“Uh, well,” you opened and closed your mouth, resembling a fish. The other chuckled and you regained your composure, feeling your ears heating up, “Sorry, I was lost in my own thoughts.” 
“It’s fine, I’m sure you must be tired. You can leave early if you want,” he proposed and you were about to protest but you were silenced when he raised his hand, stopping you as if he knew what you wanted to say. 
“And before you say anything, I insist. I’m your superior and the last thing I want is to find out one of my colleagues is forced to work overtime on a Friday. You should go home and rest,” his eyes softened, concern seeping into his voice. 
You ended up obeying him and you left the office, heading to the carpark where your car was parked. Once you got in and closed the door behind you, you let out an exhausted sigh as you leaned back into the seat, closing your eyes for a brief moment before reopening them. You started the engine, hearing the vehicle purring to life before driving home.
The second time you bumped into Heeseung was when you were trying to fix the printer. All you wanted was to print a few documents that you needed to compile together for the meeting today but just to your luck, the papers were stuck halfway. You sighed, kicking the printer in hopes of getting it to work despite knowing your attempt was futile. 
“(Name), why are you kicking the printer?” 
Jumping, you swirled around to see your superior looking at you, amused. You sheepishly scratched the back of your neck. “The papers I printed are stuck and I think the printer’s spoiled,” you replied, moving to the side when he drew closer. 
Heeseung hums, eyes focused on the machine. “Is that so? Let me take a look to see if I can help you with that.” 
“But-” You zipped your lips when he shot you a look and you allowed him to do as he pleased. 
He crouched near the printer, rolling his sleeves up as he fiddled with its inner mechanics, trying to resolve the problem. The soft glow of the overhead lights casts a gentle shadow across his face. As he shifts slightly, something catches your eye—a faint purplish mark peeking out along his jawline, just below his cheekbone.
Your brows furrow, the sight stirring a mix of curiosity and concern. It was not the first time you have noticed marks like this, and the coincidence feels too uncanny to ignore. This time however, you were determined to get answers. You cross your arms and step closer, tilting your head as you speak. 
“Heeseung,” you say, your tone carrying a hint of softness but also unmistakable firmness, “what happened to your jaw?”
Heeseung pauses, his fingers freezing mid-adjustment as if caught off guard. Slowly, he straightens up, brushing his hands off on his pants. His gaze flickers to you for a brief moment before darting away, his usual confidence replaced with a quiet hesitance.
“Oh, this?” He reaches up to touch the mark casually, almost as if just noticing it himself. A small, sheepish chuckle escaped his lips. “It’s nothing, really. I probably bumped into something—clumsy as always.”
But the way he avoids meeting your eyes, the slight delay in his response, feels off. You narrow your gaze, stepping a bit closer, determined not to let the matter drop so easily. 
“You bumped into something? Again?” you press, folding your arms tighter. “Heeseung, you’ve had a lot of these ‘accidents’ lately. What’s really going on?”
For a moment, he opens his mouth to respond, but then he hesitates, letting out a soft sigh. He scratches the back of his neck, his usual easy going demeanor faltering. “Look, it’s nothing serious, okay?” he finally says, his voice quieter now, almost defensive. “Just... drop it, alright?”
You frowned, getting annoyed with how he kept dodging your questioning but he had already left without saying another word. You remained where you were, watching his retreating figure until he was out of your sight. Sighing, you approached the printer and you noticed the documents you needed had been fully ejected from the printer. You grumbled a string of curses under your breath as you snatched them away, storming back to your seat and slammed it down on your desk. 
Bam! 
The sudden sound startled the people around you. Some gave you annoyed looks while some were curious, wondering what had happened to ruin your mood. Riki, who sat on your left, leaned back so his head was popping out. 
“You good?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. 
You looked at him and sighed, “No, I’m this close to losing my mind.” 
Your friend only flashed you a sympathetic look before returning to his task at hand. You took a sip of your now cold coffee, rearranged the documents and got back to work. 
Fine, if that’s how you want to play then two people can play that game. I’ll make sure I find out what you’re hiding, if that’s the last thing I do, Lee Heeseung. 
~
The rest of the week passed in a blink of an eye and it was finally Friday, much to your relief. It is a weekly routine for you to eat and drink with your small group of friends; Sunoo, Jungwon and Riki. The four of you graduated from the same college and to say you were surprised to see familiar faces in your company would be an understatement. You had finished packing, waiting for Riki who was ready to send his final email for the day before logging off. 
“So, where are we going tonight?” You asked, leaning back in your chair as you idly swayed side to side, legs outstretched before you. 
“Oh right, I forgot to tell you but there’s been a change of plans,” Riki answered, shutting down his laptop as he closes it before shoving it into his work bag. You stared at him, bemused and he continued, “Jungwon has invited us somewhere and we’re going there now.” 
You owlishly blinked your eyes. “Like right now?” 
“Yes right now,” Riki nodded, rising to his full height and dragged you out of your office. One moment you found yourself seated in his car and the very next moment, you found yourself standing before a pair of closed metal doors. 
The air was thick with the scent of sweat and adrenaline as you and Riki stepped cautiously into the dimly lit building. The door creaked shut behind you, its sound swallowed by the cacophony of voices and the rhythmic thud of gloves hitting flesh. Inside, the room was a stark contrast to the desolate streets outside.
It was alive—crowded with people of all kinds, from spectators yelling over the noise to fighters warming up in corners. Dim fluorescent lights flickered overhead, casting an eerie glow over the chaotic scene. At the heart of it all was the boxing ring, its ropes frayed and canvas stained with years of battles fought and won.
As you tried to take it all in, your gaze wandered to the center of the ring. A match was already underway, the sound of rapid punches echoing through the room. It was not until the fighter ducked to avoid a hit, his sweat-dampened hair catching the light, that your breath caught in your throat.
It couldn’t be.
But it was.
Lee Heeseung—your superior, the same person who always seemed composed and meticulous at work—was in the middle of an intensive match. His usual buttoned-up demeanor was gone, replaced by a raw, almost primal intensity. His movements were sharp and calculated, each strike delivered with precision. Yet, even as he landed a clean hit on his opponent, his jawline bore faint bruises you now understood all too well.
“What the hell is he doing here?” you murmured, more to yourself than to Riki. 
You could not tear your eyes away from him, observing his movement as he delivers a final blow to his opponent, effectively knocking him out. The crowd went wild, cheering and yelling at the top of their lungs when Heeseung was announced as the winner. You saw how his eyes scanned the crowd and your heart stopped when they landed on you. He was stunned, not expecting to see you here and you looked away. 
The noise and heat of the boxing gym became too much, clawing at your chest like a vice. You turned abruptly, heart pounding, and pushed your way through the crowd. The voices around you blurred into a muffled roar as you stumbled out into the open, the cool night air hitting you like a slap to the face.
You kept walking, your steps uneven and aimless. The distant hum of streetlights and the faint echo of your own breathing filled the void left by the gym’s chaos. You didn’t know where you were going; you just needed to get away—to put as much distance as possible between yourself and the suffocating scene you’d just witnessed. But then, a sudden tug at your wrist stopped you in your tracks. Your body jerked backward slightly, and instinctively, you turned, your heart leaping to your throat.
It was Heeseung.
He stood there, chest rising and falling as he caught his breath, his face partially shadowed by the dim streetlights. Sweat clung to his skin, and his knuckles were faintly red—either from the match or the cold, you were not sure. His expression was unreadable, his dark eyes searching yours with an intensity that made you freeze.
“Why are you running?” he asked, his voice low and steady, but there was a crack in it—something vulnerable, almost desperate.
You opened your mouth to speak, but no words came out. The raw image of him in that ring—fighting with a kind of ferocity you didn’t think he was capable of—flashed in your mind, and a knot of emotion tightened in your chest.
“I—” You looked away, shaking your head as you tried to find the words. “I couldn’t... I just needed to get out of there. I didn’t know you—” You stopped, your voice trembling. “Why didn’t you tell me, Heeseung?”
His grip on your wrist loosened slightly, though he did not let go. “Because it’s not something I wanted you to know,” he admitted, his tone quiet but firm. “This... this part of me—it’s messy. Complicated.”
“Complicated?” you repeated, your voice rising in disbelief. “You’re risking your health, your safety, and for what? To keep it a secret?”
Heeseung’s jaw tightened, the flicker of defensiveness crossing his face. “It’s not about keeping it a secret,” he said sharply, then paused, exhaling slowly. “It’s... it’s how I deal with things. It’s something I need.”
You stared at him, the weight of his words sinking in. The Heeseung you thought you knew—the calm, collected superior—felt like a stranger in that moment. And yet, there was something raw, something achingly human in his vulnerability that you couldn’t ignore.
“But why didn’t you let me in?” you asked softly, your voice breaking. “You didn’t have to go through this alone.”
His gaze softened, and for a moment, he looked as though he might say something—something real. But instead, he let out a soft, bitter laugh and looked away. “Because I didn’t want you to see this side of me,” he murmured, almost to himself. Then his eyes met yours again, and there was something in them—guilt, maybe regret. “I didn’t want you to think less of me.”
Your frustration bubbled over, and you yanked your wrist free from his grasp, stepping back to put some space between you. The cold air stung your cheeks, but it was nothing compared to the sting of his words. 
“Think less of you?” you repeated, incredulous. “Are you serious right now, Heeseung? You’re out here throwing punches like your life depends on it, shutting people out, and you think that’s what would make me think less of you?” 
Heeseung flinched slightly at your tone, but you did not care. The words poured out before you could stop them, each one fueled by the flood of emotions you had been holding back. 
“You’re supposed to be this confident, composed guy who always has it together, but you’re human! You’re allowed to have flaws, to struggle, to need help! God, do you think I care if you’re messy or complicated?” 
“(Name)-” 
“I care about you, okay? I care about you so much that seeing you in that ring—seeing you like that—hurt more than I can even explain! And the fact that you didn’t trust me enough to let me in, to tell me what you were going through, makes me feel like I’m nothing more than just some... some coworker to you!”
You froze the moment the words left your mouth, realizing too late what you’d just said. The confession hung in the air, raw and unfiltered, as the world seemed to go silent around you. Heeseung’s eyes widened slightly, the shock evident on his face. His lips parted as if to say something, but no words came. For a moment, the only sound was the faint hum of the streetlights and the distant buzz of the gym behind you.
“I—” you started, suddenly panicking, the weight of your vulnerability crashing down on you. “I didn’t mean—”
“Wait,” Heeseung cut you off, his voice soft but urgent as he stepped closer. His expression had shifted, the vulnerability you’d seen before now mixed with something else—something you couldn’t quite place.
“You... care about me?” he asked, his tone careful, as if testing the words.
Your heart raced, and you felt the heat creeping up your neck. You wanted to deny it, to brush it off, but the look in his eyes stopped you. It was a look that made you feel exposed but also strangely safe, like he was seeing all of you—the good, the bad, and everything in between—and wasn’t pulling away.
“Yes,” you admitted quietly, your voice barely above a whisper. “I do.”
Heeseung lets out a shaky breath, running a hand through his damp hair as a small smile tugged at his lips. “I don’t know how to say this right,” he began, his voice softer now, filled with hesitation. “But you’re... so much more to me than I think you realize. I’ve been scared—scared of what you’d think if you saw this side of me. Scared you’d look at me differently.”
Your chest tightened, but this time, it was not with frustration or hurt. It was something warmer, something that melted away the tension from before.
“I don’t care about that, Heeseung,” you said softly, your voice steady now. “I care about you. All of you. Messy, complicated, whatever. None of that changes how I feel.”
Heeseung blinked, his expression a mix of awe and relief, as if hearing those words for the first time lifted some invisible weight off his shoulders. His lips quirked into a small, genuine smile, one that reached his tired eyes.
“Why are you always so... amazing?” he muttered, almost to himself, as his hand hesitated in the space between you. Slowly, he raised it, brushing a strand of hair away from your face, his touch so gentle it made your heart flutter.
You let out a small laugh, feeling the tension dissolve into something light and tender. “Amazing? Says the guy who just beat someone to a pulp in a boxing ring.”
Heeseung chuckled, the sound soft and warm. “Yeah, well, that guy didn’t make me feel like my heart was going to explode every time I looked at him.”
Your cheeks burned at his words, and you playfully shoved his shoulder. “You’re such a dork, Lee Heeseung.”
“And you’re stuck with me now,” he teased, his grin widening, though his voice carried a hint of sincerity. The banter melted into silence as the both of you stood under the streetlights, the night air no longer feeling so cold. Then, as if drawn by some invisible force, Heeseung took another step closer, closing the gap between you.
“Can I...” He hesitated, his gaze flickering to your lips before meeting your eyes again. “Can I kiss you?”
Your heart skipped a beat, but you didn’t hesitate. “You better.”
A soft laugh escaped him before he leaned in, his lips brushing yours in a kiss that was equal parts gentle and fervent, like he’d been holding back for far too long. The world around you disappeared entirely, leaving only the warmth of his touch and the rapid beat of your heart. When you finally pulled away, Heeseung rested his forehead against yours, his smile so soft and tender it made your knees weak.
“I’m really glad you care about me,” he whispered, his breath warm against your skin.
You grinned, your fingers lightly tracing the edge of his jawline. “I always will.”
The first person to find out about your relationship was Riki. The poor guy had gone to the pantry after coming to work at nine in the morning, only to drop his tumbler when he saw you and Heeseung making out in a public space. The horrified screech he let out made the both of you pulled away from one another, startled by his sudden appearance. You tried to pat down your hair but it was futile as Riki had unfortunately witnessed the whole scene. 
“Wait, Riki-” You called out. 
“Oh, Jungwon owns me lunch now,” he cackles like a maniac, bending down to pick up his tumbler. He was about to walk away when he turned to you. “Oh and congrats on your relationship but for God’s Sake, please do that nasty shit somewhere else.”
“RIKI!” You yelled, face turning as red as a tomato as he ran away while laughing. You sighed, turning to your superior who is also now your boyfriend, only to find him poorly hiding his laughter. 
“I didn’t know this is funny to you,” you deadpanned. 
“Sorry,” Heeseung coughs, running a hand through his unkempt hair. “Well, now that the cat’s out of the bag, how about we grab dinner tonight?” “Are you asking me out on a date?” You cocked your head to the side, grinning. 
“And what if it is?” He copies your action, resting one hand on your waist. 
“Then I accept but you’re paying, of course,” you replied, leaning in to press a kiss on the corner of his lips. 
“Anything for you.”
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seventeenytiny · 4 months ago
Text
SKZ - You Struggle with Pain During Sex
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SMUT MDNI
Warnings: Smut MDNI, oral sex, cockwarming Word Count: 565 Author's Note: This is for all my girlies who don't always have the best time during sex. Be sure to talk to your obgyn to make sure there's not an underlying issue :)
Bang Chan - As soon as you inform him of the issue, he immediately starts researching what he can do to help. After reading through numerous medical pages and blogs, he comes up with a few ideas. He gets multiple types of lube for both of you to try, to see if that helps alleviate your discomfort. When you guys do have sex, he constantly checks in with you to see if the position is comfortable. If not, he switches it up. If nothing seems to feel good he might suggest cockwarming. Even if the two of you can't actually have sex he still feels satisfied just spooning you from behind with his cock buried in your pussy. He swears he could fall asleep like that.
Lee Know - He feels bad that you can't enjoy sex the way he can. His solution? Lots of oral sex. He already loves eating you out, so now he does it even more. He has no problem pulling orgasm after orgasm out of you. If you're feeling up to PIV sex afterward that's just an added bonus.
Changbin - He takes such good care of you. As soon as you mention you're in pain, he stops everything and pulls out. He'd suggest trying again another day to see if the problem persists. Like Chan, he's also a big fan of cockwarming. Holding you close without moving significantly reduces your pain but still makes you two feel good.
Hyunjin - He decides to give you a nice sensual massage when you have pain during sex. He takes some lube and uses it as massage oil, gently massaging your entire body. He starts by rubbing the knots out of your shoulders before gradually moving down to your pussy. His hands massage your thighs and gently approach your core. He expertly rubs your clit, coaxing out an orgasm.
Jisung - After you tell him about the issue, he buys you a brand-new vibrator. He starts incorporating it into your intimate moments, and it's honestly the best thing ever. Sometimes you'll put the vibrator against the tip of his cock while you grind on it with your clit. This will have the both of you cumming at the exact same time.
Felix - He's such a sweetie about the whole situation. He would be the type to suggest that you talk to your OBGYN about your issues. He'd even accompany you to your appointments to make you feel better. He feels really bad about you experiencing pain during something that's supposed to be pleasurable. He would buy you every toy he can find that might bring you pleasure.
Seungmin - He'd suggest trying some mutual masturbation. He doesn't want to cause you any discomfort so it's best for him to just watch you pleasure yourself as he does the same. Doing this allows you to find what's comfortable for your body as well, possibly leading to more PIV sex in the future.
I.N - He'd notice your face wincing in pain and stop everything immediately. He'd ask why you didn't say anything if you were uncomfortable. Once you explain to him that you didn't want to disappoint him, so you sucked it up, he feels even worse. The two of you decide to just get creative with your hands, he knows how much you love his hands anyway. The two of you take turns drawing orgasms out of one another.
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