#pain all the timeeeeeee

[maythefool]

A demon possess my body just to go "What the fuck is wrong with this thing?" And bail instantly.

if i got possessed demonically i wouldn’t even notice it. with everything else i’ve got going on

[kanonavi]

hello tumblr user kanonavi who is 1/3rd of the reason i started rereading tgcf. i have come to collect my personal apology for the emotional damages inflicted upon me for the past 5 days. and i have also come with THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS (mostly feelings)

- icb i put off this reread so long hualian are so romance. theyre jsut Romance......... absolutely floored by every throwaway bit of dialogue they had....... in shambles forever....,

- sqx arc was not as painful as the first few times i read it bc i now stand with my cancelled wife (he xuan) I STILL LOVE SQX AND THEY DESERVE EVERYTHING GOOD. BUT HX WAS REAL FOR ALL OF THAT. i love revenge

- i wanna know your thoughts on ling wen bc u mentioned having mixed feelings on her but i loved her so bad all the way to the end so im curious ljdkdjf

- i am not immune to backstory arc pt2. read it last last (?) night at like 3am and cried myself to sleep its just so gutting every timeeeeeee.... the hc plot that builds in that arc is ofc one of my favorites in the entire novel though :')

- the chapter w the cave of statues took me like 2+ hours to get through because i was feeling so insane abt it

i feel bad dropping this block of text in ur askbox sorry. will leave it there for now LOL

Omg hiiiii tumblr user stardust-make-a-wish welcome back from the yaoi cocaine pit :3 I know you're here to collect emotional damages, but I must make it known that I'm not even remotely sorry <3

Also you should feel bad for yourself instead of for me because I can only respond to huge blocks of text with even bigger blocks of text, so (TGCF Spoilers Ahead) and also I am so sorry lmaooooo

UGH you're so right that hualian is the most romance forever they are just so *clenches fists and sobs*....... They're always there for each other and they're so in love and they've been through so much and I just want them to be able to rest because it's what they deserve.

I will never once say that Hu Xuan wasn't justified in everything he did cuz like. Shi Wudu had it coming what a piece of shit. But at the same time Qingxuan is my wife and I will not tolerate my wife being harmed. So like revenge slay yes but also I am still cancelling He Xuan and spraying him with the water bottle (even though he is already very very damp).

Yesyesyes Ling Wen. So my thought about Ling Wen is that she kinda girlbossed a little too close to the sun, but at the same time you look at her circumstances both past and present and have to understand why she did all of that. It already would have been hard enough for her to gain any kind of recognition as a woman, much less in the Heavenly Court, so her ruthlessness is completely understandable. But at the same time, I don't really think the Brocade Immortal deserved what she did to him nor was taking Bai Wuxiang's side in the final conflict a real cool thing of her to do. I can't fully be a hater though because her own thoughts about everything are clearly so nuanced (See: The final convo she had with Xie Lian about the Brocade Immortal, which I am still thinking so incredibly hard about to this day).

I think that Ling Wen is interesting in the same way that I find other characters like Mu Qing, He Xuan, and Yin Yu interesting. It's in the sense that even if I don't really agree with all of the actions that they took, it's very easy to look at them and come to an understanding of why they did what they did. And I have varying degrees of like for all of the characters I just listed, but that doesn't change the fact that they're all Compelling. So it's almost like a begrudging respect that I feel for Ling Wen, if I were to boil it down into simple terms.

aaaaaaaaaa The Horrors(tm) :sob: Even though I could talk about Xie Lian's arc through that part of his backstory for a million years, you're so right that Hua Cheng's arc through it is also so interesting to watch. It really goes to prove that Hua Cheng is different from everyone else in Xie Lian's life up until this point, because yes there's the very obvious throughline of Hua Cheng wanting to protect Xie Lian (rather than expecting his protection), but even more importantly that feeling never changes even when Xie Lian has his mini corruption arc.

Like, Hua Cheng fell in love with the pure and virtuous Crown Prince of Xianle but not for that quality. Instead of being ashamed and looking at Xie Lian with scorn when he was like "What if I kill everyone actually" Hua Cheng is like "Then let me be your sword". There's the element of not wanting Xie Lian to dirty himself that Hua Cheng carries for the entire story but the point is in that he is not a voice who would tell Xie Lian to stop having those thoughts if it's truly what he wants (Unlike what his parents or Feng Xin and Mu Qing would probably say).

I'm going to write an essay about their character dynamic one day istg I am chewing through the drywall

The cave statues chapter......... *passes away*. Like on one hand that chapter is so funny because yes Hua Cheng is just an absolute certified freak (POV my roommate telling me earlier on in my reading that HC is a porn addict and me being like "pssht noooo" but then getting to this chapter several months later and being like "O h.") but on the other hand THE CONFESSION??????? Like. All I can do is gesture wildly at the storyboard animatic that someone made of that scene on YouTube while absolutely fucking sobbing. There is a reason why the cover of volume 6 felt somehow more intimate than the cover of volume 4 where they're literally making out.

Anyway I'm patting Hua Cheng on the head like It's okay buddy Xie Lian loves you because you're a certified freak, he's seen too much of this world to be weirded out even a little bit. Which is why those two are perfect for each other <3

I'm glad you had so much fun on your reread, have fun with the brainworms :3

[rrskinny02]

Bro my brother is annoying me sooooo much he’s so fucking loud like for what are u steaming line shut the fuck up. He has friends over the floor 24/7 like be alone for a minute.

Every 5 fucking min he stomps up the stairs with his shoes on we have a rule no shoes but he just doesn’t care and his friends don’t either fucking disrespect towards my mom.

And they are just fucking loud ALL THE TIMEEEEEEE.

And today I really can’t handle it I just want to quit time I’m in pain I’m hungry I need everyone to shut the fuck up

[7arami]

The One Who Walk Away from Kurta

NEW STORY TIMEEEEEEE :D

Ok so I've been wanting an AU where Kurapika joins the Phantom Troupe but willingly and actually cares about the spiders the same way they have shown to care for each other. Which of course doesn't work with Kurapika's backstory. So Kurapika tends to be ooc in most of the ideas I have. At first I was thinking he could stay behind, witness the massacre, and it just breaks him making him go hysterical. He could have a power up moment like Gon where, subconsciously, he has a major spike in nen. This could catch Chrollo's attention leading to him offering Kurapika a place as a member with the goal of shaping him to become stronger. The young, broken, and traumatized Kurapika agrees because he doesn't want to be alone (or maybe because he's just insane now or something).

The other idea I have, which I am leaning into more, kind of follows the circumstances in The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas. For those who don't know The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas is a short story that takes place in a city called Omelas where everyone lives a prosperous and privileged life, but they are only able to do so at the cost of a child who is forced to live a life of abuse, filth, and neglect. Now my idea is that in this universe, the Kurta clan lives in a similar situation. It could be either that they have a contract with some higher power or this is just a misguided belief of theirs that no one is willing to back out of (and maybe whenever something bad occurs within the clan, they are so brainwashed that they believe it is because the child isn't miserable enough and hurt them more [because i love to make things worse]). They replace the child with a raffle and sadly Kurapika was chosen, and this is how he lives his young life. Until the age of like 10 or 11 when the Kurta clan gets an unexpected visit by a few spiders. The Kurta clan is massacred... all but one. Kurapika manages to escape his cell in the midst of all the chaos. For the first time in years he feels grass beneath his feet, slightly damp from a mixture of dew and blood. He is finally able to breathe fresh air, a heavy mixture of smoke, metal, and soil. He can see a sky full of stars, the moon almost blinding him with her beauty, distracting him from the fires raging on around him.

Looking ahead he sees the silhouette of a tall lean man with tar black hair and bone pale skin. He sees him holding up an older man, one that is all too familiar to him. One of the only consistent faces in his life, an old man who's return only meant more pain and misery for Kurapika. He watches as the stranger slowly crushes the geezers wind pipes as they fruitlessly flail their legs and claw at the arm holding them. Kurapika can't help the smile growing on his face, as he watches the elderly man began to turn a sickly white color, as they began to cough up blood, as their eyes travel further and further back into their head. It was glorious, angelic even. Before he knew it he was starting to giggle, his giggles soon turned into chuckles, chuckles became howling laughter. By then the stranger had switched their attention onto him, Kurapika couldn't find himself to be scared. The stranger effortlessly snapped the old man's neck, much to Kurapika's disappointment. He didn't feel as though it was enough. Still watching the body limply fall to the ground and remain still brought an indescribable pleasure.

The man slowly begins to walk to Kurapika. He can still hear the blood curdling screams of the Kurta clan in the background, yet he can't bring himself to care. Kurapika's eyes are honed solely on the man in front of him. The man stops to kneel in front of Kurapika. He looks him over, maybe in another life Kurapike would feel some sort of shame or embarrassment for his current state. His nauseatingly discolored skin, his feeble twig like limbs, his unkempt knotting hair that resembles a rat's nest, and the absolutely revolting smell that could probably kill within a 5ft radius. But he doesn't, because this is all he's known. The man reaches his hand out causing the child to flinch, more out of instinct than fear. The man pauses for a second then slowly proceeds to brush out the hair blocking the child's face, unveiling a pair of bright scarlet eyes. The stranger begins to speak, Kurapika can only catch every third word, not used to being directly spoken too. He recognizes the word "name".

A vague and cloudy memory surfaces the child's mind, a bright blond woman smiling down at him. Calling out to him with a melodic voice. "...ka" she sings. Again "...-ika". Another person appears this time, someone much younger with hazel hair. Their eyes appear to be clouded over, they also call out to him, they don't seem as happy. He remembers being with them often, what happened to him? He screams to him, "-pika!". Again, louder, "KURAPIKA!". Why did he seem so sad, what happened to him? The stranger moves slightly, breaking the child out of their mind. Realizing they are still waiting for a response the child attempts to speak only to gasp and cough, unable to formulate any noise besides painful hacking. He feels a hand gently grab his arm, again the child flinches out of instinct but still allows themself to be dragged by the stranger. The man moves to an abandoned bag, pulling out a cylinder container. The stranger sticks it out to Kurapika, who only looks at it skeptically, saying more words that Kurapika struggles to comprehend. After a few moments of silence between the two the stranger opens the container, takes a sip, and again offers it to Kurapika. Slowly Kurapika grabs the container and brings it to his mouth. At first he chokes on the cool liquid, but goes right back drinking as much as he can, savoring every drop he can get. Shaking the container over his mouth when it finally empties.

The stranger continues to look at the boy blankly, almost expectantly. The stranger breaks the silence, repeating his earlier statement: "name?". The boy hesitates before trying again. "K-ku..r-a..pi-ka". The corner's of the stranger's mouth quirk up just the slightest. They echo the name, "Kurapika" pointing at the boy. They turn the finger on themselves and speak again, "Chrollo". The boy stares for a beat and opens his own mouth again, before he can even attempt anything he feels someone behind him. Whipping around before his mind could catch up. He stares at a giant of a man, mocha skin with an intimidating and unruly mane. The man stares back, no part of him isn't painted red. Backing up slightly, the child bumps into Chrollo. The impromptu staring contest breaks as the giant looks back at Chrollo questioningly, they speak to each other but all Kurapika can focus on is the red that stains the brawler's teeth.

Kurapika finally looks around to take in his surroundings. Watches as burning homes collapse in on themselves, as bodies lie unmoving, some robbed of their eyes, others showing complete absence of life. He can still hear some cries but they are definitely fewer than before, there are silhouettes of varying sizes in the distance. All Kurapika can think of is how beautiful it all is. How the red glows in the moonlight. The faces of people who had watched as he suffered and left him to rot in his own filth, all for their own self-pleasure. It's all so beautiful that he can't stop the smile that returns to his face, and he doesn't particularly feel like trying. Giggles slip from his grin as he watches everything burn.

The child moved before a hand could grab his shoulder, not realizing he did so until he was staring at Chrollo again. He begins to talk again, even though everything felt too muddled for Kurapika, he had a feeling he understood what the stranger was trying to tell him when he sticks his hand out to Kurapika. Slowly Kurapika grabs the hand in front of him, sealing his fate.

Okayyyyyyyyyy so I definitely like the second idea more, I want it to be where Chrollo sees a wandering child different from the others he has already come across. One that looks way more neglected than the others, one that seems to be laughing with such joy in the face of such destruction, eyes that reflect unbridled delight instead of horror. They appear out of nowhere, Chrollo only being aware of the child's presence when he hears a soft snicker. I'm thinking that Chrollo sees an overwhelming power within Kurapika and wants to utilize it, deciding to take Kurapika in and train them to be an unstoppable spider. I'm thinking Chrollo initially says he sees Kurapika as a potential weapon to be utilized and honed but then begins to care more for the kid. For Kurapika, Chrollo is like his savior, I want him to see Chrollo as like an older brother figure, and he gains this undying loyalty for Chrollo.

I also have an idea where Kurapika still goes out to do the Hunter Exam, and comes across that one blue bozo wannabe and absolutely cracks up the moment he sees the spider tattoo. But yeah I have thought about this a lot and needed to put it down before I throw up spiders :)

[eryna]

depressionposting timeeeeeee

my partner and best friend is leaving for California in the summer. I knew about this and have known before we were even in a relationship. We've talked about how neither of us will do well with an online relationship. I haven't changed my mind.

But god fucking damn it I can't. It's not just that I can't let go of them. It's that they have been my greatest support in hell. I have to live through THIS. And I don't know if I'll be able to.

Constantly misgendered, constantly told, blindingly harsh yet silent by my parents that I shouldn't exist like this. That I don't deserve to exist. That it's wrong. Told that they love me, even as I explain to them how much they hurt me. Told that they love me when they still call me my deadname. Forced into positions they know hurt me. Why?

And going through all of this without that support? Without anyone? I can't go back to it. I can't. I can't. I've been through it and done it before and I just can't I can't I

My grades will fall and suffer and I'll be in constant pain and no one will notice what the OBVIOUS FUCKING PROBLEM IS, THE ONE IM SCREAMING AT THEM TO UNDERSTAND

i just want to live. I just want to be happy. Is that so much to ask?

[ruthlesslistener]

"46. You look stunning." with Grimm and literally anyone else you'd like?

Gay dads timeeeeeee (with bonus Divine bc I love her) .

When Grimm had told him that he was planning on making their night off a relaxing one, Brumm knew that he shouldn’t have trusted him. 

And indeed, not two seconds had passed upon him entering Grimm’s quarters before the god himself was all over him; he had done nothing more to prepare for the night than bathe and fluff up his ruff, but that did not seem to matter to Grimm, as he circled around him and purred so deep that it buzzed in Brumm’s ears, in his chest, in his...everything.

“Master,” he murmured, and nothing else; the attention was getting to him, his face burning behind his mask. Not that it mattered; he knew Grimm could sense his heartbeat, his anticipation. There was no hiding from Grimm, in matters of fear or...whatever this feeling was, when Grimm passed by close enough for him to feel the heat of his shell. “You’re overreacting.”

“You look stunning.” Grimm’s voice was, perhaps, a little deeper and raspier than it normally was. Not uncommon, with the Ritual drawing so close- his current shell was burning out, his hormones were surging, and he smelled faintly of wine- but logic held little candle to the warmth he kindled as he draped himself over Brumm and breathed in deep. “And you smell divine.”

“Most likely because she was the one to recommend it to me.” He could see nothing past the red, velvety wings and the hot, scaly carapace; the smell of wine was definitely stronger here, as was the peculiar spicy smoky scent that Grimm always took on when the Ritual drew near. It would be alluring, if it wasn’t a harbinger of his coming death. “You’re drunk, master.”

“And you’re gorgeous.” The purr tapered off into something that sounded almost pained- but Brumm knew Grimm’s idosynchronies by now, well enough that when the puff of steam billowed over his horns, he didn’t flinch away from the heat. “Mine. All mine. Your dreams, your heart, your name, your fears. You have such pretty fears, Brumm. They warm me at night; I promise I will treat your heart gently. I promise I will return to you.”

Brumm’s heart lurched, a cold pit forming in his stomach- but he had no time to scramble with a reply, as Grimm leaned more of his weight on him and his focus shifted to merely keeping the two of them upright.

“You two are adorable,” cackled Divine, and Brumm startled; he hadn’t even seen her, with Grimm demanding his attention. “But this is supposed to be a game night. Save your flirting til later, lovelies! I wish to win another bet against our lovely master; he’s already lost two, and to stop now is to forfeit the old rule of threes, you see.”

“Blasphemy,” murmured Grimm- but when he pulled himself away from Brumm’s ruff, there was a twinkle in his eyes, and he held a hand out with surprising steadiness for someone so tipsy. “Come now friend! I have a bet to win. Perhaps you shall be my lucky charm, hmm?”

...Brumm severely doubted that. But he let no sign of his doubt slip, and he took Grimm’s hand with little hesitation, savoring every minute he had left with his god before the Ritual came, and took him from him again.

[whoslaurapalmer]

alright guess who’s rolling in a smooth fifteen and a half years late with some 2004 movie takes because I just rewatched it

i mean we’ve all seen the 2004 movie none of the following words are going to be new or anything but it gave me something to do 

-for the record, the last time I watched this was…..2016 or earlier???? I would put it on in the background sometimes because it was the only snicket media content available -but as referenced in my backstory post, I did indeed see it in 2004. -i BEGGED my parents to take me to see it. they did not. -we were out to a late lunch/early dinner right after it came out, and I kept grabbing my mom’s watch and telling her how far away we were from the next showing and since the restaurant was so close to the movie theater that we could definitely make it in time. -we still did not go. -but, as per the post, one of my best friends had a birthday party where we all went to the movies to see it. -probably because our librarian had read us the bad beginning, but my class was SUPER into the series. there was one kid who wrote all his creative writing assignments in lemony’s style. -i wonder if he’s still into the series……..

-you know all this time later I still don’t know how I feel about the littlest elf. how do people feel about the littlest elf?? like props for pulling an unauto reference but……...littlest elf -but I did just notice one of the elves is holding a SHOTGUN

-okay the feel to this though. like…..god the aesthetic is so good in this movie -the gears and the clocktower and the fog and that beach and just…….fuck -oh no my mind is spinning. like I know this isn’t the reason but those trees poking out of the water is just giving me massive ‘clusterous forest after it presumably flooded’ vibes -i think the movie, for all it fails re: most of the emotions, really gives a sense of emptiness and loneliness though, the city and the landscape feel small and contained -i like jude law’s voice and I like what they did with lemony in this movie but I love and will always love patrick warburton. -the spyglass doesn’t work here either because it never got the chance to pan out because there was only one movie and it’s still too early and forcing it right away because there’s no timeeeeeee

-i like jim carrey a lot better when he’s not being, jim carrey -you know what I mean???? -like he’s so good in eternal sunshine, I love eternal sunshine -like I like nph a lot as olaf but I also feel…..it’s very nph. like I don’t look at carrey’s olaf and think ‘that’s 100% olaf’ but I don’t look at nph’s olaf and think ‘that’s 100% olaf’ EITHER there’s something still very much of the actor about both their interpretations as if they both leaned too much into the absurdity that was in olaf (carrey acting for the troupe and like 80% of his mannerisms in the movie, nph in slippery slope and the musical numbers) but not hard enough into what made olaf olaf -idk -i think they both had really good menacing!olaf moments though – nph in hostile hospital, carrey threatening violet at the end, those are ones that still really stand out to me, and that’s really important to olaf’s character, he was a villain and he wasn’t always that smart but he was capable of such cruelty just as much as absurdity -but not enough for me to look at either and say ‘that hit everything I wanted someone to hit in olaf’ -and it’s not even a matter of them downplaying the cruelty to hit you with it later for mood whiplash or anything, there wasn’t enough of all the parts of olaf to give that whiplash 

-i have nothing to say about the troupe I just don’t even want to go there

-i’m getting ahead of myself here in the movie but like, we all know that klaus takes a lot of violet’s moments in this movie, especially her biggest one in the marvelous marriage climax, and thinking about that makes me mad about all the netflix moments in s3 where klaus did more than violet too, and now I’m like, really incredulous that that happened in netflix too

-the lil fort scene has always stuck in my mind ever since I was a kid

-weird props to the movie for having their names on the custody document as ‘sunny, klaus, and violet’

-‘last chance superette’ okay well that’s something

-the car and the train has also been something that stuck with me a lot -like…….i actually really like this scene a lot and I’m trying to, explain why -it’s a really scary scene!! there’s a lot of tension and I appreciate that a lot!! it’s not canon but it’s remarkably well done and I think it honestly fits really well, it’s something olaf would do, and the fact that poe is upset because sunny was driving and not that olaf wanted to kill them, that’s, at least there’s that -(i really like the books pulling out when klaus remembers something too) -like I really don’t know why but I like it framed like this. I LIKE the movie framed like this. that they get taken away from olaf so quickly by something so absurd that isn’t why they should be taken away but wind up in his hands again at the end and then they get away again and typing it out makes it sound so….repetitive and stupid and like it doesn’t make sense but idk. idk!!!! there is something about it I like -like repetitive for the movie, because it’s, contained as itself as one movie, but, maybe a little close to the books -hmmmmm -still can’t word this right -i guess just, in terms of the movie!canon, it was styled well, for how the movie was structured -(of course it falls apart when klaus has to do violet’s stuff at the end of the movie that just fucks it all up. but right here. I did like it.)

-the movie’s “there’s always something” vs netflix’s “i’m gonna fix this”……….both are good

-monty brought the strongest vfd vibes in this movie didn’t he re: spyglass, lost his wife in a fire, violet remembering the song monty sings -i’ve said this before and this is completely unrelated but I don’t think going to peru was intended as a vfd recruiting thing -oh no wait this is very related, here??? in the movie???? “we’ll be among people who understand us” who value clever children or whatever, oh yeah movie!monty was gonna do it -(i need to think more about monty re: vfd and his experiences because, there’s a lot of possibilities here, honestly, and I think because we don’t see monty in atwq and he’s so early in the series proper that I don’t consider him in vfd and what that meant for him as much as I should)

-both versions of like the physical reptile room inspire such adventure and excitement……….i love that….those big windows and all the reptiles…….

-the sanctuary theme would be better in a different movie because like, the series isn’t about ‘sanctuary’ per se -it’s about something close to that but not ‘sanctuary’ for sure, like that’s such a weak, barely skimming the surface reading of the themes

-you know???? netflix!gustav was good. -like I don’t want to just compare the movie to the netflix show the whole time you know because they ARE separate entities although based on the same source and just have completely different takes and for both some of those takes were good and some of them were bad, but I never did like that image of gustav -i did like the dart in netflix though. a one good moment…. -(it’s also hard to compare them because 1-3 is all we got with the movie and 1-4 were some of the only books solidly done by netflix)

-klaus saying “everything happens for a reason” that’s never been a favorite saying of mine

-“it is a curious thing, the death of a loved one” is a line that’s pained me so much the older I’ve gotten and I care about it a lot because it’s so true, and I think it works better as narration than josephine saying it (I thought it was out of character for her to say it in netflix actually) BUT I ALSO get so pissed that the movie leaves out “as your mind tries to adjust to the way things are now” or however the rest of the quote goes

-reptile room in netflix after monty dies though is real top-notch and I love it a lot, this one is just, it’s decent but it’s rushed -i could say that about the whole movie, it’s decent but it’s rushed -the thing about the movie though is that like. it hits the major overall notes of the plot of each book just in a very quick and short and therefore low-key manner and because it’s a movie and an hour 48 minutes and they have to rush so netflix, spacing it out in two episodes, had more time and could do it better -and yet. at the same time. -we all know that one of my top complaints about the netflix show is that they too rushed a lot of scenes that I think should have been slower, that were slower in the books -and it’s not like I think the movie did a better job. because the movie fails in a lot of ways, and doesn’t go anywhere into the trauma or any of the real sadness -and even though it fails like that and cuts so much short. there are moments where I think it works better -and I’m trying to tell myself this isn’t just because I’m still living the ‘incredibly outraged at netflix even now, especially lately’ life and I’m not just picking one over the other because I don’t want to -and I’m trying to think of a moment more than just the letter at the end that the movie gave time to the kids to feel something and I can’t (and I can’t count the letter because it’s, the letter) but -i do think the movie let things stretch for even a second longer -it could be the aesthetic because I love the aesthetic of the movie a lot -i don’t know I think….both of them have strengths, netflix had more time but the movie hit a closer aesthetic, at least to me -and netflix didn’t USE that time, is what I’m getting at, and somehow the movie had just a tinier bit more time even though it was shorter, but that probably is just because, the aesthetic, I am a sucker for it -i think this part has something to do with my feelings about netflix’s vfd subplot, that’s probably, where this is coming from, and sometimes I think the clothing and the scenery in the netflix show especially in s1 was very colorful which is fine really that’s such a petty thing to dislike

-“doesn’t it strike you as odd that none of our relatives are related to us?” is still top notch

-although josephine has the pictures I still think monty does have the stronger vfd vibes. -i love the way that window curtain opens!! fucking terrifying!!!!! -i think of jane lynch turning around and saying “is this a bad time?” even now that’s still hilarious

-okay this is it. -this is really truly the one thing the movie did better than the netflix show, and a lot of people feel the same way about this -hurricane herman. -(it was so…….kidsy and kind of charming in the show. and even in the books it wasn’t charming. it was a lot shorter, but not charming.) -like this is legitimately terrifying and how all josephine’s fears come true is one of the most PERFECT things -don’t TEMPT me by saying “[ike] was investigating fires” because I don’t have the time to have ike thoughts right now because that almost lines up with a wip I have, so fuck you -(when I fell asleep to this movie the other day I thought to myself ‘gee hope I don’t wake up during the hurricane scene’ I did in fact wake up then and had to turn the volume down.)

-i think when it was 2004 and I was watching this in the theater I did not watch the leeches, ten year old!me wasn’t having it -there’s a lot of fear in this movie, I’ll say that though, it doesn’t hit the sadness but it hits some of the fear

-here we go, back to bad beginning content -“and what about what I want?” he got the creepiness really good though ugggggg

-okay as many things as I think are not okay but decent in this movie, f u c k  y o u for giving klaus the grappling hook and rescuing sunny!! fuck you for having him burn the paper and not letting violet do the left-handed thing!!! why even change that????? why e v e n there’s no reason to change it -how dare olaf say “rapscallion” in this that’s one of my favorite words -god the soundtrack was so good though………... -“right hand please” yeah I will slap you -klaus is the only one who gets these sad flashbacks god movie I was giving you, some, benefit, of the doubt, watching this as an adult, until this part, when I just, nah man -“these children tried to tell you but you didn’t listen” this is NOT the speech for OLAF to give -movie you were doing okay but you just REALLY fell apart here. none of this is okay -even the ‘these happy things happened! no they did not because the world doesn’t work that way’ falls flat against how lemony would say that in the books, seeing it ruins it -it actually reminds me of the ‘look at all these side characters having happy endings’ in s3 though

-i did always like this scene too though. where they go back to the mansion at the end -i liked the staircase, too. -i will say, there is something….very emotional, about finding something from a loved one, after they’re gone, that you didn’t know they did for you, or that they did at all, and to find it so suddenly. I think the spirit behind the letter in general, not the content and not the weird optimistic ending it leads to, but just the spirit of the letter, is close to violet and klaus and sunny reminiscing on their parents in the books

-the movie was before the beatrice letters but, lemony hanging out in a clocktower with these pigeons and bea’s letter having been delivered by pigeons…….

-ultimately, yes. it was decent, but rushed. -it wasn’t as ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE as I remember saying it was a few years ago, if I think about it as a self-contained sort of thing, there were some things I liked or appreciated, the costumes and the scenery and the soundtrack fit my mental image of the books -although you know what???? you know something i did not consider until the movie was over??? that could just be, I DID see the movie when I was first reading the books as a kid and it may have just stuck with me as The Image I Had And Sometimes Still Do For Parts Of The Books, huh   -but in terms of how it translated the books, like if I think about 1-3 and what they contain, on more than just a surface level of going through plot beats, yeah, it failed hard, and missed the mark a lot -the last like half hour made me a lot more pissed than ever, though, ugggg -i’d put it on in the background again, though.

[duh-danii]

i can’t stop | z.a

summary: zach has found a outlet to relive himself from his stress but you don’t believe it’s the best for him but he can’t stop

warnings: prolly some curse words, angst ,drugs

a/n: based off of why stop now by chase atlantic i highly highly HIGHLY recommend you to listen the song and totally check out the band bc they are my favorite of all timeEeEeEe anyways that’s it enjoy wait also zach is aged up abt 2-3 yrs older okay byeeee (lowkey feel like this is super unrealistic but whatever)

“im floating around now my stomach is nauseous, and ill keep doing this until im unconscious.”

“ughhh...” zach grunted while he watched his ceiling fan spin around his room.

“babe!” y/n called out excited to see her boyfriend on his tiny break from tour.

“in here!” he yelled from his bedroom, immediately clutching to his head as it ached from him raising his voice.

he sniffed.

“hi, love! i missed you!” y/n said as she stood under the door frame to his bedroom.

“y/n.” He smiled.

y/n ran over to him and hugged him tightly as she buried her head into his shoulders.

“how have you’ve be—“

“what’s that smell.” she asked already knowing what it was.

“oh, it’s the—“ zach sniffed. “it’s the, the litter box, i haven’t cleaned it in awhi—“

“your cat died like five years ago....” y/n sat up and stood at edge of zach’s bed. “okay i know you smoke weed every once in awhile but you’re sca—“

“shhh!!!” zach said. “my head is pounding and my stomach hurts. please calm down.”

“zach. im worried about you.”

“y/n, im fine.”

“they call it a problem, but baby i already know,

this shit is reliable, people they just come and go.”

“i don’t like this. i don’t like this. it scares me.”

“god babe, im really fine. i can control myself quite nicely.” He said raising his voice slightly.

she scoffed. “i can control myself quite nicely” she imitated zach.

zach let out a long breath and chuckled slowly.

“your room is a mess, dude.” y/n said as she looked on zach’s bed and saw some white grains that looked like sugar from those airheads xtreme bite candies, zach’s favorite candy.

“hehe, yeah.” he repiled with a sniff then returned to blankly staring up at his ceiling fan while his left hand starting twitching.

“zach. you are obviously not fine. look at yourself i feel like i’m—“

“i know it’s a problem, but honestly i don’t care... i can rely on this shit, people just leave.” zach murmured with his eyes half open.

he sniffed.

“why stop now, tell me if i can’t come down ,then why stop now.”

“you don’t care? i don’t want to lose you to something as ridiculous as this! i tried to deal with it ,but i can’t take it anymore! you’re different.”

“oh...and you’re the same?”

“what are you talking about?”

zach sat up and looked at y/n .”god y/n! get off my damn back! im stressed out enough. i travel constantly i need something to help me. it helps me. that...” he pointed to the bag of weed on his dresser. “that helps me.” He clutched his head and winced in pain.

“zach, its not helping you if you’re acting like this.” she said tearing up from frustration. “i love you. i want to help you. we can—“

“sthut the fuck uppp, god you’re so fwrekin loud!” zach slurred.

“im just trying to help you! y/n tucked her hair behind her. “please just let m—“

sniff

“lord, can you stop fucking sniffling what the hell is wron —“ y/n cut herself off.

zach sniffed once more and rubbed his nose aggressively.

y/n looked back at the “sugar grains” on his bed and his desk. she looked zach dead in the eyes.

bloodshot, right eye twitching

“please, please, please no.” she sat back on his bed and put her hands on his thighs. “please tell me you’re not doing cocaine.”

“wha—wha...”

“are you doing crack?!”

“maybe?” he giggled out of his mind as he abruptly layed back down on his bed and stared at the ceiling fan.

“baby, let me help you. you don’t have to stay like this.”

“i want too.” zach’s left hand stoped twitching as he relaxed his body on his bed.

y/n rested her hand in zach’s as she goes to help him stand up

“baby, grab my hand. we’re going somewhere.”

“zach, grab my hand.”

his hand was cold.

“you live and you die babe, its life in a fast way”

[apothheosis]

TIRED OF BEING IN PAIN ALL THE TIMEEEEEEE

[5erotonin]

yea so one of my guy friends wants to date and im like uh slow ya roll ur cool but im not in the position to date anyone cause ik id probably hurt them because im healing rn and plus im not interested in them and i feel so bad for saying no but it's better to be honest right? i wasn't a bitch or anything i jus dont wanna hurt someone like no one understands the shit ive experienced and i don't want them to but im not over it completely and until then im not risking hurting someone but idk why everyone gets so upset with rejection i mean it sux but cmon how am i gunna be ready for another relationship when this one just ended completely 2 weeks back.... healiiiing takes timeeeeeee. ugh. that's why i go for older people usually cuz they get that but then it's different wavelengths. im v confused by dating and i don't wanna understand or be in the position to get hurt like i got hurt by the last one, it's weird though i wanna love but im not ready to love because my hearts in pain still but i literally just wanna make a difference in someone's life like that, i adore relationships so so so much but it's not at all worth that kind of pain. idk. something healthy would be amazing maybe i just take them too seriously i really have no idea what im doing wrong