#overwhelming as fuck
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I'm think so hard about Stanley Pines I'm gonna fucking cry. Have you guys ever noticed how he talks to Ford even before he got him back. In Carpet Diem he scolds Ford and says his carpet is ugly. He asks the wax lookalike if he wants anything from the kitchen. He tells Ford to shut up when he's reading his journal. He tells the kids he talked to his reflection while fishing alone. He needed his brother so fucking much and I'm
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#i fully believe that he ran down to the lab after he ran away from the wax funeral#he was so overwhelmed he had to give it another shot and repeatedly tell himself that ford was alive#god he didn't even fucking know if ford was alive#thirty fucking years and he held onto hope#imagine he turned on the portal and nothing came out#no one came back#maybe fords glasses fell out#but thats it#im gonna cry so hard#conan rambles#gravity falls#stanley pines#stanford pines#stan twins#sea grunks
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#positive mental attitude#mental health#mental illness#actually mentally ill#stress#psychology#mentally fucked#meme#funny#funny memes#humor#haha#lol#memes#funny shit#weird memes#funny post#overwhelmed
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:
There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’
like wow babe. good fucking point
#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole
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a redraw of the first drawing i posted here to celebrate the fact that ive been in tumblr for more than a whole year posting my shit and havent deleted my blog in panic yippee \:D/ (mushy rant in tags)
#i realised too late that it has been more than a fuking year (august 9)#and for context: ive had 3 different intagram art accounts and i deleted all 3 of them a few months before creating them. anxiety amiright#here it has been so different bc people are so nice??? it has been a pretty plesant experience here w all of u really#im so glad to have found myself in such a wonderful part of the fandom and amazing mutuals that i never talk to bc im shit w texting#the atention has been overwhelming ngl. i have over 2000 followers which. holy fuck???#it doesnt feel like a real number and for my own sake im nnot gonna treat it as one#like i apreciate the support and ppl liking what i do but im not here to make number go big yk? im here to connect w other humans#and yall have been amazing humans ^^ thank u for all the wonderful tags and comments and the support overall#it has been so cool sharing my art and finding other artist whom i respect oh so very much. some of them even follow me back wtf#i hope to continue being here for as long as i can and keep growing as an artist and sharing that process with other without fear#also my amy redesign actually goes so hard idk why i forgot about it nxnfbcncb#sth#sonic fanart#sonic#amy rose#nov.aart#nov.junk
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I'm on chpt20 and I want to study SQQ like a bug. My man is flushed, hair down, robes literally falling off his shoulders, LBH on his lap playing with his hair and kissing him... and he finally cottons on to the fact that maybe this isn't how you have a platonic and important discussion. Enforces it for all of five seconds at which point LBH starts massaging his waist and SQQ is back to being like "yeah this is fine and normal". Amazing. Can't believe he insults the IQ of SQH's characters.
#Shen 'the pot' Qingqiu meet Shang 'the kettle' Qinghua - fucking morons#svsss#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#bingqiu#sqq#lbh#honestly thought i'd be finishing bk3 today i was so ready to devour the last hundred pages after work today#and then i slammed face first into this mental image and was completely derailed#mxtx you can't keep being the funniest mfer out there it makes it so hard to read without needing to stop and draw#i seriously cannot BELIEVE this#this would not be a slowburn for anyone OTHER than sqq i'm so angry#i read the bit where lbh is so overwhelmed he buries his face into sqq's lapels and had a moment of#''gee that's so cute i may need to stop and draw this... NO BE STRONG KEEP READING this is cute but the conversation is#too interesting to stop now!!'' i said with all the naivety of someone who doesn't realize how ridiculous sqq is about to become#Bene Finish This Book Tomorrow Without Being Derailed Challenge#my art#i know in my picture lbh is not massaging his waist but the visual shorthand didn't translate quite as easily as a shoulder massage#for silly cartoony pictures like this broad strokes tend to work better than strict accuracy... hence the paraphrasing :P
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do you ever get so caught up in genuine joy?
#gangle cult#gangle supremacy#the amazing digital circus#gangle tadc#tadc gangle#tadc spoilers#the amazing digital circus spoilers#my video buffered right as she fell I thought she died (before I remembered none of them can uh. do that.)#no but this sequence is so beautiful I WISH I could link music to images#the trumpets- being triumphant?#oh my fucking fuck#ALSO NOTICE THE LIGHTING CHANGE#dim and dark to then the overwhelming light and joy#then so caught up in the joy it hits her. literally.#hits her like a truck...#idk how to caption this but I really love this whole sequence
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happy birthday shigaraki my beloved!
#WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING#I DID HOT HAVE A GOOD MORNING#i also have so many wips with tomura it’s really overwhelming#oh man#anyway#mha#bnha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#shigaraki tomura#mha shigaraki#tenko shimura#dabi#touya todoroki#twice#toga himiko
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old valley girl tim doobles :]
#dudes we’re only a week into college and i’m so fucking overwhelmed#ouuuugh#i do like this design tho might steal it for ocs lol#been watching some among us animatics#can you tell? djdjdj#jimmy solidarity#solidaritygaming#valley girl
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it's really callous how many people are so ready and willing to call any and every Palestinian fundraiser on here a scam, as though the extensive efforts to vet and verify campaigns simply don't exist, and not even CONSIDERING that a false accusation could be enough to basically doom a family in need. is it really that much easier to tell yourself "those aren't real people desperately trying to convince anyone that their lives and families matter enough to save. everyone on this website is American probably and anyone else is just a bot :)" like. do you hear yourself?
#i understand being overwhelmed like i get dozens of requests a day to share fundraisers and i cannot keep up#and yes you should Check and Be Sensible but cmon is it really so fucking hard to believe that Real People in a Real Place might Reach Out?#Especially if they don't have many other avenues left to pursue?
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my mom was defeatist when she found out biden dropped out of the race, but i told her i was having hope. seeing the posts about the donations rolling in, i think my hope is well placed
Hold your ground! HOLD YOUR GROUND!
Sons of Gondor! Of Rohan! My brothers. I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of Men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day!
An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the Age of Men comes crashing down -- but it is not this day! This day we fight!
By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you stand, Men of the West!
#on-and-on-we-go-forever#ask#lotr#look i am just saying#if lotr slaps at one thing#(and it slaps at many)#it is in motivational speeches delivered by the heroes against overwhelming evil and bad odds#also fond -- to put it mildly -- of RIDE! RIDE NOW! RIDE TO RUIN! AND THE WORLD'S ENDING!#so yes#chin up to you and your mom and the rest of us#just posted the fundraising update and it also slaps#let us do this fucking thing and smite orange sauron once and for all#kamala harris 2024#get his ass kamala
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THE WAY THAT THEY INVENTED ROMANCE WITH THIS SONG???? HELLO?????
#'i don't know why you waste your time on me' 'baby; all i got is time!' OH MY *GOD*#WHY IS THAT THE MOST ROMANTIC THING THATS EVER HAPPENED#im screaming and crying knowing no one else will ever have what they do#like i am so serious ive never REALLY cried at this show before but this song got me so bad#theyre so fucking cute. im going to lay on the floor and be overwhelmed by yearning#mine#fave#<- yes im tagging my own posts w this#helluva boss#helluva boss spoilers#fizzarolli#asmodeus#fizzmodeus#helluva boss fizzarolli#fizzarolli helluva boss#asmodeus helluva boss#helluva boss asmodeus#e: mammon's magnificent musical mid-season special
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everytime someone says a version of "what if Shifty is intentionally manipulative and maybe even evil–" a part of me dies a little inside
#no matter what you think of her#you can't deny just how UNFAIR things are from her perspective#both she and the vessels have so little agency in their own fate#they have no choice. they can only REACT to *your* choices#and you can always choose to be cruel#to deny her of any compassion and any chance at connection#does she comes off as pushy and entitled?#bitch it's literally her EXISTENCE on the line#not vibing and being overwhelmed with her is perfectly fine and valid honestly#but do not come at me with how she's secretly evil and the villain of the story all slong#slay the princess#< main tagging this. fuck it#sal rants#< new tag unlocked. that's how mad this shit makes me lol
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being like this and living with someone who doesn't understand is so hard.
#narcissistic abuse#parental abuse#cptsd life#complex trauma#just cptsd things#actually cptsd#cptsd recovery#living with cptsd#cptsd problems#mental health#mentally fucked#actually mentally ill#overwhelmed#therapy#coping#mental illness
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'lloyd is very weak now and needs to marry so he'll have someone to protect him'- lloyd has the only grandmaster on the world following him around like a puppy. he has the most terrifying motherfucker on the world wrapped around his little finger. he has the one person in the world who can hit an absolute in the head and get away with it swearing in his heart to protect him no matter the cost over and over again.
lloyd made javier watch him die twice right in front of him just to keep him alive. there is no power on existence that could make javier allow anyone or anything to even think about harming lloyd again.
lloyd is fine
#i talk a lot <3#tged#the greatest estate developer#lloyd frontera#javier asrahan#llojavi#sorry i get mad all over again when i think about that stupid ass competition lmaooo#like i know it was just an excuse but. it was sooo unnecessary.#like if you're gonna say 'lloyd will marry the person most qualified to protect him' you cannot blame me for pointing to the one person#who literally spent the whole novel ascending to higher and higher planes of existence just so he could protect lloyd better#that's just how it is#but also this is me saying it's evil and fucked up that we never saw javier going absolutely feral on someone for trying to hurt lloyd#the closest thing is in the battle in hell but that was against hellkaros so like. it doesn't really count.#i need javier to see someone raising a hand against lloyd only for everyone within a radius of a hundred meters to be overwhelmed#by this sheer murderous intent that makes more than a couple people drop to their knees and begin praying.#just this quiet but palpable rage that makes it physically harder to breathe.#a presence so powerful it makes people nauseous just by being near it.#and i also need lloyd to be completely unaffected by it and in fact able to easily appease and assuage it with barely a word#i deserved to see that actually
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"i am 15% scandinavian 18% french 3% eastern europea-" okay well i will kill 100% of you
#even if you removed the whole evil corporation/data harvesting aspect from ancestry tests#the way people's immediate response is racial essentialism is.......... mh#are you guys not creeped the fuck out by these things. or at the very least weirded out#and that is not to say that there absolutely isn't a 'healthy' way to interact with them#- again removing the whole dna data collection aspect from the convo -#but it does seem to me that the overwhelming majority turns to this weird essentialism bit which makes me barf#but it seems to be weirdly acceptable/accepted behavior
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