#overthinking everything in my life that's why I can give people answers

[lolitastories]

Sisters

Rafe Cameron

“Rafe?” I knock on the bathroom door quietly. “Can you hurry up?” I could still hear the shower running and no answer from his side. I groan, throwing myself back on the bed. I close my eyes just taking in the peacefulness of his room late at night.

“Rafe can I-” I sat up hearing the door be pushed wide open. “Hey” The young girl says, holding onto the door knob while looking at me weirdly. She had to be around 14 years old. Curly dark hair and glasses.

“Hey,” I stood up, walking over to extend my hand to her. “You must be Wheezie?” I was unsure but when she took my hand and shook it, I couldn’t help but smile.

“And you are?” I look down, retreating my steps. “Wait!” She says, “You are the girl he has been hiding! I knew it” For the first time in the past 2 minutes she has finally smiled towards me. “I hated being one of the last two people in this family to have not met you yet” She shuts the door and walks over to lean against Rafe’s dresser. “Why haven’t we been introduced?” Her smile fell and her arms crossed. I looked down with a small smile, the truth was we were still taking the relationship slow. Rafe and I made it official in private quickly after knowing each other, and when he mentioned meeting his parents I thought it was too quick. So I made a deal with him because I knew his dad was important, I told him I would meet him with the condition to keep us private from the rest of the world for a little bit longer. But now his sister, that was his choice.

“Well everything was so quick with your brother and I,  my best guess is he wanted to make sure about us.”  I look up only to find an unsure look on her face. “I know Rafe cares about you guys-”

“Wheezie!” We both look over seeing an older yet teen girl walk into the room. Her eyes land on me first and then quickly move towards her sister. “¡Hey! Why didn’t I get an invite?” She smiles walking straight in and shutting the door. “Am Sarah” She smiles proudly. “And you must be the reason Rafe spends his days smiling.” She looks over to Wheezie who nods in agreement.

“I knew it had to be a girl in his life because he has never attended church without being forced” That's weird. I look at my hands hearing them speak.

“Hell, he even gives at church and has taken a liking to his responsibilities” The girls laugh. My eyes look up trying to shake off my uneasiness. “So,” Sarah says as she walks over to sit beside me on the bed. “Why haven’t we met you yet?” I looked at them both and finally sighed.

“You can’t tell Rafe,” I whisper. I took a quick glance at the bathroom door and could still hear the shower running.  The Wheezie moves closer and huddles together with Sarah. “He says it's because of the condition I put in place before we met your dad.” Both sisters looked confused. “We allowed Ward to know about us because he looks up to him,” They both nod understandingly. “He said the rest of his family could wait a bit longer because you guys might tell somebody and that isn’t want I wanted yet,”

“Two things,” Wheezie stands up defensively, “We don’t gossip much, right?” She turns to Sarah who looks over with a little smile.

“No but we do let things slip out.” Wheezie backs down a bit with a nod. “But we wouldn’t do it on purpose!” She turns around to look at me.

“Yeah, but why wouldn't you want people to find out?” There comes the difficult part to say. I don’t even know if it was the right decision since it was his sister I was saying this to. I took a deep breath in and decided to do so, they know him best and maybe they would help me decide.

“I heard about Rafe’s reputation,” Their eyes fell in sympathy waiting for me to continue. “Rafe has been great so I don’t want to judge him due to his past actions but I can’t help but overthink.” And it was the truth. My friends had opinions on Rafe and they weren’t good.

“I can’t speak for the future because that is something that could change in a second but,” Sarah grabs my hands in hers, “We can tell you that Rafe hasn’t been the same,” Wheezie nods again.

“I can’t remember the last time he took me out and actually spent time with me,” She looked down at her hands, “It was nice to see him smile and actually be present”

“Yes, and I heard from my dad that he actually started taking initiative in his company.” I smiled. I only knew this Rafe, which made me have even more doubts somehow.

“I can’t help but think that if he is this good now, that when it all comes out in the air that something is bound to ruin it and he would return to his old self.”

“Is he worth the fight?” My eyes shoot up straight away. “Because I can be 100% sure he wouldn’t let that happen,” I smile, saying nothing more. “As long as you both are happy, and have an understanding you both will be okay.”

“Thank you Sarah,” I looked over to Wheezie who was smiling towards us. “Thank you Wheezie” She smiles bigger coming over to wrap her arms around my shoulder.

“Now that we met you, can we all start hanging out together?” Her sheepish tone made us laugh.

“Yes, we need to get to know you and what better way than spending time together!” Sarah agrees. “We can go out to the movies this weekend-”

“The new animation movie is coming out!” Wheezie moves around the room trying to find something. “I was planning to go alone-there you are!” She turns around handing me a piece of paper and a pen. “I can text you the details.” I took the hint and started writing down my number. “Oh I also wanted to check out the new museum but Sarah doesn’t want to go so-” At that moment our eyes move to the bathroom door opening.

“All yours-” A towel wrapped around his torso while drying off his wet hair with another. I was in my own little world enjoying the sight he was giving. Of course that was until his words brought me back to the real world. “What are you two doing here?”

“It was an accident-I wanted to see if you wanted to grab dinner” Wheezie speaks as Sarah stands beside her. “And she was just here” They both look at me and widen their eyes. I stood up and slowly walked towards Rafe and his eyes moved towards me.

“Am okay with it if you are” I say quietly. His eyes widen a bit and flicker towards his sister. He knew I wasn’t speaking about dinner but about letting them in, and it included the rest of the world.

“We will meet you outside in 20 minutes.” I hear their small squeals from behind, “But if you guys are late I am leaving” He stood firm. I turn around seeing them nod and rush out of his room. I bit my lip holding in a smile, before I could turn around I felt his arms wrap around my waist. I tense as I feel small droplets fall down my shoulder from his wet hair, but I don’t mind. “Do you think-” His hands travel along my waistline and up my arms to end up on my shoulders. He turned me around and pushed me closer to him again. “-we should stay in?” I look around acting like I was thinking about it. He swings us slightly until he starts moving us towards his bed.

“Rafe” I look him in the eyes. My hands grip his forearm and move up his biceps. Cold and a bit wet. My hands around his shoulder towards his collar bones, tracing the lines of muscle. “We can’t do that” My hands continued to move lower, until it was plaster on his chest and I took the chance and pushed him away. “Now go get changed because I am hungry” I hear a small groan as he turns around and heads to his dresser.

“So,” I was already staring at his back as he spoke. Watching his muscles moves as he looks for a shirt. “They seemed to like you” He flickers a smile at me before shutting his dresser and moving towards his closet.

“Well good,” I say as I quietly walk towards him. His back turned towards me as he looked instantly for some pants. “Can’t have my future sister in laws hate me.” As I say that my arms wrap around his waist and I press my body against his. I don’t hear or feel a laugh but I do hear and feel him let out a deep breath. My fingers make small figures on his skin. “Don’t you think?” I tease moving my hand lower and grazing his now present bulge. His head falls back as the pressure of my hand increases. “Would be rude of me not to give them attention,” I whisper as my other hand crawls to unfold his towel.

“Fuck” He groans. His chest rose heavily. His eyes closed with force feeling the cold air hit his skin. My fingers move closer and closer and teases his length barely hoovering.

“They told me how good you’ve been,” I wrap one hand around and start teasing his tip with my thumb. “So good” I lay a kiss on his shoulders.

“Very good” He struggles to say. “So fucking good” He groans pushing his hip forward trying to get me to move.

“hmph” My lips move over his neck and start kissing, licking, sucking. “Such a good boy” I bit my lip when he didn’t move an inch to wrap his hand around mine and start moving.

“Fucking hell!” He groaned. He moves his hand away and I continue to stroke him in the pace he started. His precum smeared down his length helping me move faster. I looked down, enjoying the sight I would never grow tired of seeing. The texture and length of his veins decorate it.

“Baby?” The noises he was making were making me whimper and the center of my core tighten.

“Rafe!” My hands pull away and I back up.

“What the fuck?!” He scream-whispers and he opens his eyes to look at me. As I was going to start arguing the door opened.

“Hello?” I hear the voice soften.

“Get dressed” I say walking out the closet.

“How the hell am I supposed to do that with a boner?” He say

frustrated, which I only blew him a kiss as I walked out towards his bedroom door.

“Hey” I smiled seeing Wheezie standing there. “What happened?” I awkwardly stand there with my hand in my pocket.

“I wanted to ask something that has been stuck in my head” Her words surely made me nervous so I only nodded for her to keep going. “There’s this function at my school and Sarah can’t go because she has school and the rest of my family is at work and I don’t want to ask Rose-”

“Wheezie,” I cut her rambling off. “Just tell me the time and place” Her smile grows big.

“Next Friday at 2. Everybody usually takes their sisters to help prepare so since you are-”

“Wheezie” Our heads turn to Rafe walking out fully dressed and ready. “Can you leave us for a minute?” She nods but before she could walk away I passed by her.

“Can it wait?” I looked back at his eyes which were not happy right now but I knew it wasn’t something serious. “Any restaurants will close in less than 2 hours so we need to hurry” I sent him an innocent smile rushing down the stairs with Wheezie right behind me.

“I chose the one by the shore!” Wheezie screams running past me.Sarah was already leaning against Rafes truck. I look back as I reach the passenger door and see Rafe stalking towards us in a Michael Myers way. He would look good in a mask. As he is close he unlocks the doors and the girls get in but when I try to open the door it is pushed shut.

  “What the hell Rafe?” I turn to him and he corners me against his truck. His blue eyes looked me up and down with a slight smirk playing on his lips.

“You are lucky they can see us, but when I get you alone,” His face falls in the crook of my neck and he leaves a single kiss on my skin. “You are going to regret leaving me high and dry” He moves his head back to plant a kiss on my forehead. “Now move” He says jokingly with a harsh tone and he continues to pull the door open. I send him a smile before getting in.

“I like to see him happy but we don’t need an example of why” Sarah and I laugh hearing Wheezie ‘s uncomfortable tone. Rafe gets in the car and what she said next made the rest of us uncomfortable as we tried to explain it to her. “What are those purple markings there?” My eyes drop trying to hold back a laugh. Rafe groans, putting the care into drive.

“Nothing you need to know about,” I smile looking over and see him focused.

[hi-my-name-is-cosmopathy]

What

if you were a deity, what would you be the god of

[just-a-ghost00]

How can you improve ?

This PAC is meant to provide you with general advice to help you improve and move forward on your path. This is going to be a very simple reading, with only two cards for each group.

Group 1 - 8 of wands & Justice

You need to combine your creative power drive with careful execution. Your ideas and desires are worth exploring but you should proceed strategically. Act before any little hint of doubt can slither in your mind and stop you from moving forward. Don’t give yourself the time to hesitate but don’t be careless about it either. This is a difficult thing to do but if you manage to get into action at the precise point where you’ve thought about it enough without overthinking it, then you’ll be good to go. The second thing I am picking up on is communication. It is important that you clearly communicate your boundaries. Without exception. No matter who is standing in front of you. No matter how good they were to you. If someone crosses a boundary, it is mandatory that you call them out. No one gets a free pass, you deserve to be respected no matter what. You are no doormat, no punching ball nor a stress ball. You are a loveable human being and you should be treated as such.

Group 2 - 2 of cups, The Devil

Having the devil as an advice card feels a bit counter intuitive 😂 Combined with the 2 of cups, on top of that. To me, in this case, this represents sensuality and pleasure. Your key to improving is to allow yourself to indulge in whatever guilty pleasure you have. Want to eat that cupcake ? Go for it. Thinking about going on a vacation ? Fly as soon as you get the chance. You’ve been running in circles wondering if you should send that love confession? Don’t think twice. Allow yourself to be happy. Allow yourself to exist. You deserve to live. You deserve to take up space. You are allowed to laugh. You are allowed to have fun. You are allowed to love and be loved. It is not a sin to do what you like because you want it. It is not forbidden to let your guard down and just allow yourself to be. You are enough. Be in that receptive energy. Go with the flow and take things as they go, one step at a time. Slow down. Enjoy your life. Find your rhythm. Find your joy. Explore. Connect with people. Form partnerships. Do not deprive yourself of something out of guilt. You can never regret doing what you love.

Group 3 - 7 of wands, Hierophant

As the 7 of wands represents competition among other things and the Hierophant maturity, I feel like the first piece of advice is to be the bigger person. If anyone is coming at you with a bad vibe, do not even bother answering back. Don’t give them a taste of their own medicine, no matter how tempting that may sound. Believe me you won’t be feeling any better afterwards. The true victory lies in being able to tame your demons. The second piece of advice is to not give up on learning. If you’re a student, keep going and don’t give up on your education right now. If you wanted to learn a new skill but you feel like that would be too hard for you, don’t let that stop you. Keep pushing. Keep fighting for your goals and dreams. Seek for knowledge in everything and everyone. Take any opportunity presented to you as a lesson that will only make you wiser and richer. Don’t take things personally. See the bigger picture. Notice the patterns. Read between the lines. Don’t let yourself be fooled by appearances and look for the finer details. I’ll give you an example by using my own personal experience. My father was acting a bit oddly lately. He kept criticizing me every time I was doing something that I found enjoyable. At first, my reaction was to feel offended and it made me angry so I would be acting aloof as well. But then one morning I just sat for a minute or two after one more episode like this happened and I realized that the implicit message was that he was feeling sad and lonely, and the reason why he was acting that way was because he envied what I had and wanted to be a part of it. He envied the fact that despite not feeling very good myself, I was still able to do fun things and enjoy myself while he thought he couldn’t. Now if you look at that from an external point of view, you would say that had he allowed himself to do the same, he would have felt better. Which I would agree with. But being caught up in his mental fog, he didn’t realize that and instead thought that nagging at me would get me to pay him more attention when it generated the complete opposite.

[itsascreambaby96]

Stu Macher smut where readers a little bit sassy yk? And Stu gets a little upsetty which leads to smut (Sorry I suck at this idk I’m nervous)

Aww sweet anon don't be nervous! I like the idea! I hope you like what I did with this!

Warnings: Smut! 18+ MDNI! oral (male receiving), p in v sex, facial, name calling, swearing, tiny bit of angst(reader is overthinking), stu calls reader sweetheart. And good girl but only twice. Thigh riding. I think that's it.

Pairing: Stu Macher x fem!reader

Accept my apology?

It was exam season at university. So of course you were busy studying as well. Most people understood when you blew them off because you wanted to pass. The only person who didn't seem understand was your boyfriend Stu. He was done with his exams already. Now he was bored and you were not nearly paying enough attention to him. In his opinion of course. You've already spend the whole last day with him, giving him all your attention.

He has been annoying you for a couple hours now and your patience has been running thin.

"Come on Babe I'm bored as hell. Why can't you put your stupid notes away for a while and we can do something fun." As he said this he wiggled his eyebrows.

You were so done with his bullshit but still you continued. That was until Stu had enough and grabbed your flashcards.

"HEY!" You were not amused at all, other than Stu, who was grinning ear to ear.

"Give them back Stu!" You were tired and stressed.

"Mh what do I get if I give them back?" His pointerfinger was at his chin pretending to think.

"My gosh Stu can you for once act like an adult? This exam is importsnt for me and you are ruining everything because what? You are bored? Newsflash! You are not five years old! There are plenty of other things that you could be doing right now instead of keeping me from studying!" After your little rant Stu's eyes hardened, so you won't see the hurt in them. He threw your cards on the ground and left your dorm without another word.

With a sigh you knelt down to collect your cards. Were you too harsh? But he never respected your boundaries. And this exam was important.

Later that night after you were finished with studying and after taking a nice relaxing shower, you tried calling Stu. But he never picked up. After the third time you grew a little worried. Have you hurt his feelings? After trying for the fifth time you gave up and went to bed. You had to apologise tomorrow somehow.

That is why you ended up in front of Stu's door. A Pizza in hand as a form of apology. Your exam went well, you realised afterwards now how rude and mean you were to Stu. He didn't deserve that.

You kept knocking at his door without an answer. With a sigh you sat down next to his door. If he was there he had to come out at one point right? And if he wasn't, well at least he would see you when he decided to come home. You looked at your clock. It was 14:30. Another sigh left your lips. The guilt for treating him the way you did, eating away at you. Your mind going to all different kind of places. Thinking that he will be grumpy for a few more days, to even worse scenarios, like what if he wants to break up with you now? You don't know how you would handle that. He is the love of your life, and you thought for him it was the same with you. What if you were wrong? What if he was with another girl right this moment because for him this relationship was already over?

Your mind kept spiraling. An hour after you showed up here you almost gave up hope. Standing up and taking the now cold pizza you turned to leave. Stu came around the corner right this moment. He was a little startled to see you here.

Without thinking much, you threw yourself at him, pizza box almost smacking Stu in the face.

"Whoa there sweetheart, I am happy to see you too." Stu chuckled a little, but he was confused.

"You didn't pick up your phone, so I thought you were still mad at me for yesterday...And then my mind kept thinking of how this might be the reason you are breaking up with me..." You mumbled into his neck, standing on your tiptoes because he was unbelievably tall.

"Why the hell would I break up with you over something silly liken that? Sure I was upset, because you can be really mean you know that? I am a sensitive guy after all." That made you giggle a little. He might say this as a joke but deep down he could be sensitive even if you were the only person seeing that side of him. Made it all the more special.

"Don't know, you know how my mind can get."

"Fuck yeah I do. You are way too far in your own head sometimes, sweetheart." He tapped his pointer finger against your head for emphasis.

"I was actually hoping to make it up to you." Your breath was tickling the skin of his neck and you could feel goosebumps raising on his soft skin.

"Oh yeah how were you planning on doing that?" His voice took on a different tone, deeper, raunchier. And not more than a whisper, making excitement bubble up inside of you.

"I am taking you like my ways of apologising?" Looking at him still grinning.

He closed the door behind him caging you against it. "Fuck yes I do. Especially the part about the Pizza." He gave you a cheeky grin.

You playfully rolled your eyes at him. But before you could say anything he leaned down and kissed you passionarely. Letting out a satisfied hum against his lips you pulled him closer. Your lips melted together in perfect sync. He tasted faintly of sweets, chocolate. You couldn't have him close enough to you. Not even a sheet of paper would fit between the two of you right now.

Stu bit and nipped at your bottom lip, it was almost painful, but you knew that he liked drawing blood from time to time. Heck he always eats you out when you're on your period too. It helps with the pain.

Parting your lips you let his tongue into your mouth. Your tongues dancing together, a bit of spit drooling out. Again Stu likes it messy.

He began rutting into you as the kiss progressed. Panting against each others lips.

You could feel him hardening against you, and with a little more effort you pushed him away a little bit.

His eyes were hooded over with lust, pupils blown wide. His cheeks had a nice rosy colour and his lips were swollen from the kiss. You were certain you didn't look much different.

Moving him around so he was pushed against the door now you dropped to your knees, before he could pull you in for another kiss. You opened his pants and pulled them down to his ankles. You could see the outline of his cock in his briefs. Yourn mouth began to water and you gave the tip a kiss through his boxer briefs. Stu let out a shaky breath above you. Smiling to yourself you began to mouth at his cock through his boxers. You were fairly enjoying yourself. The anticipation of having the real thing in your mouth soon, making wetness pool between your legs.

It wasn't often that you could tease Stu like this, so you were thrilled he let you go on this long. His whole boxer was wet now where his cock was. Deciding that you did a good enough job in riling him up now, you pulled his boxers down, his cock springing free. Stu hissed a little as the cold air if the room hit his heated up dick. But he didn't have to complain, because your mouth was wrapped around him in seconds. Normally you'd love to admire his pretty cock. How it is shaped slightly upwards, how deep pink his tip got and the precum leaking out of it, the vein that was running along his whole shaft. Truly you loved whorshipping his cock.

You knew Stu says the same thing about your pussy. 69 a favourite position of yours. But right now you could do as you pleased with him. And you were just as eager to get him inside of your mouth as he was being inside of it.

Everything about him was big, so his dick wasn't the exception. You always needed your time to take him into your mouth, but you were so eager that you almost didn't care, pushing your limits a little. He still wasn't completely in. That would be sheer impossible, but with the speed you took him in right now, it leaves Stu breathless. His head dropping against the door as he let out a string of courses. His fingers weaved into your hair. Letting out a satisfied hum at the salty taste on your tongue you began to work your magic. Bobbing your had up and down, jerking him off with your hands on the part that you couldn't fit into your mouth.

Stu was not disappointed. You were really making this messy. He could already see drool running out of your mouth, the sounds you were making only added to his aroused state. Gargling and gagging when you went a little too far. But again you were eager.

Sucking at the sensitive tip from time to time too, which you knew always drove him wild.

"Fuck aren't you the best girlfriend ever? Look at you? So eager to suck my cock. Fuck you look so good. You always do. But right now? There isn't a better place for you."

You keened at his praise. Another thing about Stu? He could never shut up. Not even during sex. One time he really tried to have a whole conversation with you, while he was railing you over the couch.

You kept moving your head, relaxing your throat to take more and more of him. Tears were running down cheeks, mixed with make up. You had him almost down completely but you knew you were at your limit. More spit kept drooling out of your mouth as you kept going. Stu's grip on your hair turned harder and with a push forward you had his entire length inside of your mouth. Your eyes widen and you looked up at him. More tears streamed down your face.

"Fuck yes. Look at you. Looking like my personal whore. Fuck college, you should do this professional just for me." Your cheeks warmed at that. "And then you wouldn't have to snap at me that I am behaving like a child. Humiliated by my own girlfriend. You know that is unacceptable."

With that he kept thrusting his entire length inside of you. You were gagging and crying but honestly? Your panties were drenched by the way he was talking to you and treating you. Holding onto his thighs for dear life. He was really enjoying yourself.

"What would your professors think if they saw their good little student like this? I know you are best in your classes. Surely they would expect you to be such a whore for your boyfriend." His voice was so deep and sounding strained, turning you on moreHe was reaching so deep, you were sure your throat would be sore for a few days, but it was so worth it. Your cheeks burned in shame. But it came from a place of arousal.

You knew he was getting close, you could feel him pulsing. Looking up at him he quickly pulled out of you. Your mouth opened on instinct and you helped him jerk himself to finish over you. The first spurts of his cum hit your face and you closed your eyes. Deep groans came from Stu as he gave you every last drop.

Once he was finished he kept looking at you. The thing why he loves cumming on your face is because it makes you look like his. Sure he knows you are his, but there is a primal part in his brain that wants to claim you like this. Mark you as his, so that any other male or female knows you belong to him.

Opening your eyes carefully you looked up at him with big eyes. Stu's eyes haven't lost their hunger. Quite the contray, they looked even more intense now.

Not breaking eye contact, you lifted your hand to scoop some of his cum from your face and put it in your mouth to suck it off. Another deep groan escaped Stu as he saw you doing this and fully enjoying yourself. Again another primal part of his brain getting pleased. He kicked his pants and boxers off and took of his shirt.

He gripped your arms after you sucked the third scoop off of your finger, lifting you to your feet. You were a little wobbly, your knees hurting from the hard wooden floor.

"Not even the Mona Lisa looks as pretty as you now." Stu rasped, making you blush even more. He dragged you over to the couch and sat down on it.

"Bring me something to drink, would ya?"His legs spread wide you got a little distracted by him.

"Sweetheart you know I don't like asking twice." With big eyes you scambled to the kitchen, knees still weak. You returned with a glass of water and a beer, as you didn't know what exactly he wanted. Returning, you saw he got really comfortable on the sofa. Upon seeing the two drinks in your hands, and the fact that you haven't cleaned yourself off he gave you a genuine smile.

"Aren't you a good fucking girl?" He took the water and chucked it down, opening the beer afterwards. "Here is how it's going to go sweetheart. You are going to ride my thigh until you cum, then I am gonna fuck that disrespectful attitude right outta ya. Understood?" You nodded quickly.

"Good. Now undress for me. Slowly. I wanna enjoy myself."

Who were you to decline him. Removing your shoes and socks first to have them out of the way. You lifted your shirt, slowly of couse, revealing more and more skin to Stu, who was watching you like a hawk. He let out a groan as he saw you were wearing his favourite bra of yours. You gave him a happy smile, glad that he appreciates it. Then you turned around, shimmying out of your pants, bending down, giving Stu a nice view of your ass. You heard a breathy "fuck" as he noticed you were wearing the matching pair of panties to your bra.

Slowly, with your back still facing him you unclipped your bra and took it off. Cupping your boobs with your hands you slowly turned around.

"Come on show them to me." His voice was demanding and he took a swig of his beer. Slowly you peeled your hands off of them. Stu's eyes immediately dropping to them. Your nipples standing proud and internally he was dying to wrap his lips around them. But that would have to wait. You still had to remove one item.

As you took of your panties, Stu could see a string of your arousal connected to them. There was actually a big patch visible on them that Stu hasn't noticed, because he was distracted by your tits.

Still feeling confident, you threw your pantis at him. Stu took them. Then he did something you wasn't expecting. He actually sniffed them. Biting your lip, you could feel your pussy clench. Your eyes widen as you saw him licking the wet patch of your panties. His eyes closing and him groaning, like he just tasted the best thing in the whole world, which to him was the case. He kept doing this a few times and you were growing wetter by the second.

Stu threw your panties to the side and patted his thigh, signaling for you to come over and start.

You scrambled over to him and took your seat on his thigh. You could feel the muscles underneath it.

"Don't be shy. Start. Show me how desperate you are to cum for me."

Slowly you started to moved your hips against his thigh. It took you a little to find a good angle that was catching your clit, giving you some much needed friction. You let out breathy moans, closing your eyes and getting lost in the feeling. Stu gave your thighs a soft slap. "Keep your eyes open. I want to see the desperation grow in them." Nodding you complied even if it was hard.

You started to grind harder on him, quickening your pace. Sucking Stu off has already riled you up so much, you just wanted to cum at this point.

"You really are a whore huh? Making a mess on my thigh. Look at you. So needy." Stu flexed his thigh and it catched your clit in a way that made you dizzy. Your pace became erratic, your legs were burning at this point. You needed to cum so bad, you wanted to gush all over his thigh. Stu took another swig of his beer, watching how your eyebrows creased together. He knew you were close. Another swig and he put the beer away, gripping your hips to make you halt.

You looked at him confused and flushed.

"Change of plans sweetheart. The only way you deserve to cum and make it up to me is on my cock." You nodded dumbly, your mind already fuzzy from how close you were. Standing up again you almost drop to the floor, but Stu held you firmly, helping you take your seat in his lap. You could feel his hard cock pressing against you. With as much strength as you could muster you lifted yourself up a little, gripped Stu's length and sank down on him.

Your mind was reeling at finally being full of him. It was quite the stretch, but you were so wet he easily slipped in. Stu let out a dark moan. Your warmth enveloping him completely.

"You take me so well all the time sweetheart! Fuck. Swear this pussy was made for me." You only mustered a nod, already fucked out. Stu began to thrust up into you, making you fall forward onto his chest. Whimpering as he drilled into your pussy. He was determined to fuck the attitude out of you just like he promised.

You were holding on for dear life as he didn't let up. Your pussy juice coating the both of you. Stu pulled your face up to give you a heated kiss, that you couldn't hold for long as you desperately needed the oxygen. Stu grinned at that. Your face was still covered in his cum.

"God I should take a picture of you like this. So I always know what a good little whore you are for me when you piss me off." You could only moan in response.

"Need a whole stack of them, cause I sure as hell would ruin them just like I am ruining you right now huh?" Gosh he really wasn't shutting up ever. But you couldn't really focus on anything he was saying. The only thing you could concentrate on was how he was stretching you out, his tip hitting your Gspot every single thrust. You were seeing stars at this point.

Your release came without much of a warning. It came crushing through you and you were a moaning babbling mess, feeling yourself clench around Stu hard.

"Fuck that's it sweetheart look at you. What a sight!" Your ears were ringing and Stu still kept thrusting into you.

Lucky for you and your poor abused pussy, Stu didn't take that much longer before he came inside of you with a deep thrust. He kept grunting for you to "take everything I give you." And you didn't have much of a choice than to oblige. Not that you wanted to.

The both of you were sweaty and Stu moved you both so that you were lying on top of him on the couch fully now. Panting, you could listen to his heartbeat which helped you calm down slowly.

"You're amazing. You know that?" Stu's voice was rapsy. You lifted your head to look at him, giving him a soft grin. "Oh I know." He chuckled and gave you a big kiss. You hummed. Enjoying the post orgasmic bliss and cuddling for a while was one of your favourite parts. Stu drew patterns on your skin.

Then after a while, it was getting cold by now, he slipped out of you, making you whine. He sat you onto the couch, drapping the blanket he had here, thanks to you, over you so you could cover yourself up. He went to the bathroom and emerged, with new boxers on and a wash cloth. Sitting down next to you he started to clean off your face.

"Almost a shame cleaning it up..." He mumbled and you softly pushed against his shoulder, making him let out a soft laugh.

After he was done you stood up and waddled to the bathroom yourself. When you came back to him you put the blanket down, as you now wore one of Stu's favourite shirts. And it was only his favourite because you looked so good wearing it all the time.

Stu patted next to him and you plopped down. He gave you a glas of water which you eagerly took and drank. You really needed it. He turned on the TV and pulled the pizza onto his lap. Opening the box, the pizza inside gone cold a long time ago. But neither of you cared as you ate and enjoyed whatever it was that was on TV. Neither of you keeping attention to it really as you kept talking about your days. Stu asked you how your exam went. Everything was forgiven by now. And if this was the outcome? Maybe you should piss him of more times now.

[alphajocklover]

Hey, I've been in a relationship with my Korean boyfriend for some years now, and he keeps telling me things about this InstaJock app, and how he's gonna use it to make himself the biggest, most dominant muscular jock ever... I'm usually the one who tops though, so I'm a bit concerned over what that entails, could you help me out? I don't want to lose my twink...

I’ll admit, I’m a little unsure on how to answer your question, mainly because I’m not entirely sure how to interpret it. I might just be overthinking things, but to me it seems like your question can be interpreted in two different way. Both interpretations suggest a different kind of person asking and each have a different answer. So, let’s look at them both.

Our first scenario: you are a concerned boyfriend who is worried that InstaJock, a mysterious and possibly dangerous app that turns the user into a jock, will change your boyfriend in ways he doesn’t fully comprehend. You’re worried because you’re a loving boyfriend who is naturally worried about the man you love messing around with mysterious technology and altering his personality to the point he’s like a different person. If that’s the case my advice is to just talk to him. If you’re worried he’s rushing into this, tell his as much, and talk to him about why he wants to become a jock in the first place. Maybe he’ll go through with it, maybe he won’t, but if you talk about it beforehand things will probably be much better for both of you, and I’m sure you’ll be able to work this out. Maybe you’ll even get a hot jock boyfriend out of it.

The second scenario is that you’re not concerned about your boyfriend literally changing his identity, you’re concerned because you want to be the top. Which… honestly is kind of shitty man. Like, I get worrying about being sexually compatible with your boyfriend, but when you hear the love of your life is using a magic app to change basically everything about themselves, you’re first thought shouldn’t be ‘how will I be able to fuck him if he’s bigger than me.’ Lucky for you I’m going to give you an answer anyway. Hell, I’ll give you 3 possible answers.

Number 1: Top the Jock. I can’t believe I have to explain this, but just because he’s a jock doesn’t mean he’ll be a top. Sure most jocks are dominant studs who think with their dicks, but it’s possible to be a jock and bottom. There are submissive jocks, power bottom jocks, and plenty of vers jocks. Even if you both end up as tops, you could find a way to make it work. A lot of people do. But something tells me that’s not the answer that you really want. So let’s move onto our next answer.

Number 2: Become the Jock. If you don’t want your boyfriend to use InstaJock, one of the things you could do is use it first. Now, that won’t actually stop him from using the app, but considering his obvious infatuation with jocks I’m betting that if you became one, he’d do whatever you want. Jocks have a way of getting what they want, and I’m better a Korean twink like your boyfriend would be putty in your hands. He wouldn’t become a jock unless you wanted to, and you’d never lose your twink. This one is the one I think you’d like best, but… personally I enjoy the 3rd option the most.

Number 3: Join the Jock. This one is pretty similar to number 2, with one key difference: you both become jocks. Since you were bigger to begin with you’ll most likely be bigger after you get jockified, and then not only will you have a boyfriend with enough muscle to handle getting topped by your new beefy jock self, you’ll have a fellow jock to bro out with!

I’ll be honest, I can’t tell you what to do. I don’t know enough about your situation to know what’s right for you or your boyfriend. But let me know how it all works out in the end. I’m sure whatever happens… it’ll be very hot.

**hey guys! I have to say I had a lot of fun with this prompt. I kind of have a thing for buff Asian guys, if you can’t tell, and it’s always fun to do InstaJock stuff. I am sorry to say that I have no idea if anyone pictured is Korean or just generally Asian. Finding specific pictures online is hard so I tend to go with the closest I can get. Anyways, stay tuned!**

[anemoiashifts]

shifting tips / advice that don’t suck !

♡getting offline.

i know i know it’s hard, but being bombarded with different information about a certain topic can be so overwhelming & create room for overthinking which can effect performance. looking in places outside of shiftok or shiftblur or shift whatever. putting more effort into trying to figure out what something is instead of doing it will drive you insane because there is no answer to what shifting is. hence, “theories” & shared experiences. there is no concrete reasoning to shifting backed by science so don’t try & find them or you’ll be looking forever.

♡music.

did you know you can use music to manipulate memories ? the brain is so so bad at remembering things due to how much information we consume daily. when you visualize & listen to a sound or music, your brain can register that as a memory.

♡smell.

this one also aligns with the one above. smell is heavily tied to memory, also. by watching a show we are shifting to & pairing it with a certain scent like a perfume or candle, we can create a link between the two. then, spraying during shifting attempts can help us visualize & associate that piece of media with where we’re focusing on.

♡shadow work.

find out why you’re shifting. happiness ? you don’t need to shift for that. love ? you don’t need to shift for that. if you want to that’s fine but is shifting a bandaid for something deeper ? discover that. really think & consider where you’re going & if you’re in the right mentality to handle it. you aren’t in a television show episode or an oc, you’ll be a living human being in a very real & interactive world. figure out your intentions.

♡put in effort.

this may be a little obvious but you have to want to shift, to shift. you have to put in work & effort to shift & take another approach if doing the same method 10x over hasn’t worked for you. “we shift every second” sure but you didn’t shift into your desired reality in the past thirty. “im saying an affirmation & rolling over & hoping ill wake up in my dr” & how has that worked out for you ? just because this has maybe worked for other people, doesn’t mean it'll work for you. everyone is different. people require more time & effort to get something right then others just like subjects like art or english come easier to students.

♡perfection.

not everything has to be perfect. script isn’t completed ? so what ? you’ve been saying “im not ready yet” for the five months. don’t put off good things out of fear of them not being exactly how you want it because it will never be perfect because perfection isn’t real. if you don’t have everything figured out — that’s fine. why ? because life will sort itself out. this remains true right here & in your desired life. if it’s any comfort, everything will fall into place.

♡neutrality.

if you’re someone who wakes up after an attempt saying “i’ll never shift, i hate this reality” then you’re kinda sabotaging yourself in a way. your creating the mindset that this is the “bad” place when shifting is “good”. that’s not true. everything is entirely neutral until you define it as such. in addition, you are focusing more on the “haven’t” & giving that more attention to & what you give attention to will only grow until it’s so big you can’t see anything else.

♡listening.

people who want things don’t sit & complain about not having them, they persist & would do anything to get their desires & live in that reality. instead of saying “i didn’t shift” & sulking about it, take it as a learning experience to see what does & doesn’t work for you; your body is showing you what not to do so listen to yourself.

[itsangelll]

ℳℴ𝓋ℯ𝒹 ℴ𝓃？

angst to fluff

warnings:none

2010 era!

A/n: I wanna give huge credits to @bunniesthoughts thank you for helping me with this me and her made this together we hope you guys enjoy <3

minors can interact

word count:1k

“GET OUT THEN” I said my voice getting louder by the minute, Tom’s eyes were getting more teary and with that Tom pushed past me and stormed out of the house. Hours pass by Tom hadn’t come back yet “shit pick up pick up please” I tried calling him but no answer my mind was overclouding with thoughts my anxiety was getting worse no text no calls at all.

-time skip

It’s been weeks and tom still hasn’t come back, I’m trying not too overthink anything but it keeps creeping up in the back of my mind. So to take my mind off things, I go sit down and turn on the tv to mtv and I see pictures and videos of Tom and some girl named Anna “what the fuck” I feel tears sting the corner of my eyes, all of the overthinking came true, it wasn’t just a thought it was all real life. I need to talk to him asap.

and the best way was to show up to their concert it took me ages to get there but I made it finally, people were crowded fans screaming and yelling. They came out of the tour bus, my life flashed before my eyes, The rumours were true his arm snug around her waist her beautiful eyes he moved on already?

I felt sick to my stomach, Tom saw me his face was shocked but I didn’t care I ran not daring to look back I could hear him yelling my name and running after me. My eyes were perking up with tears I felt like I was going to collapse. I ended up falling over my knees were bruised my hands were shaking Tom finally caught up and he kneeled down infront of me, “Y/n I didn’t want you to find out like this.” His voice was trembling it sounded like he was about to cry, “You never really loved me did you” my voice was breaking I couldn’t help it, he cupped my face in his hands his dark brown eyes staring into me “I’m sorry but after that fight I didn’t know what to do I thought we were broken up” he said his voice with unbreakable emotion I looked away. We just sat in silence not even saying a word till his twin brother and the rest of the band started calling out to him he got up and walked off.

-time skip

A few weeks had passed me and Tom haven’t spoken at all I see photos of them everyday together, but today I got invited to a interview with Tom to talk about why broke up and how it happened. I didn’t feel like going because the media would’ve twisted my words but then I changed my mind I mean it’s best to get my feelings out? After I got ready I left my apartment and went to the interview. When I got there the interviewer was really nice and told me how what was going to happen, I looked around and I didn’t see Tom anywhere which was off cause he’s never shows up late.

The Interviewer sat me down she asked me a couple of questions about how I knew Tom how we started dating, asked me about their music and everything. Then she asked this “Y/n I know this must be hard for you but would you ever want to try and works out thing with Tom?”

I swear I couldn’t hear her for a second I felt sick, I took a deep breath “I hope I can, him and I instantly click and at the end of the day I miss him heaps”. I said my voice cracking a bit, she nodded after a little while of what seemed like hours the interview was wrapped up and I was on my walking home till I heard someone yelling out to me.

I turned around. It was Tom he came up to me catching his breath it looked like he was gonna collapse Christ “Y/n I saw your interview and there’s so much I wanna say but I can’t say it here”. “Huh? What do you me-“ he put a hand over my mouth and handed me a piece of paper he smiled at me then walked away.

I watch tom walk away, as I grip the piece of paper in my hand once he’s out of sight I open the paper “meet at the lake at 6”- tom I look at the note confused as why he wanted to meet, I mean I’ve seen he has a girlfriend, but I shrug and I get into my car driving to our old spot.

I see Tom sitting on the hood of his car lighting up a cigarette. I park and get out walking up to him “hey” I say softly trying not to startle him “hey.. I wanna talk with you if that’s okay”, he says as he gets off the hood of his car throwing away his cigarette I nod letting him know that I’m listening. “listen I know you saw me with her but truly I didn’t want that to happen, I miss you I don’t know why I didn’t come back and went to go with her. I thought we were done but I miss you.” Tom says as his voice starts to crack.

I go to speak but Tom stops me, “I broke up with her..I wanna give us another try, you were my everything” he says as his eyes start to go glossy and so do mine. “alright I’ll give us another chance” Tom looks at me and a smile forms on his face as he grabs me and pulls me into a tight hug, putting his face in my neck.

“I love you so much meine liebe I promise this will never happen again” I nod as I listen to him pulling away as a tear drips down my cheek “I love you too” I whisper softly as I lean up and softly kiss his lips and lay my head on his chest.

A/n: i hope you guys enjoyed me and @bunniesthoughts loved making this go check her out!! once again thank you for helping me make this I couldn’t have done without you. Anyways bye cuties mwah <3

[bubbipond]

To date, my favorite 4 Minute replay we see is Korn's at the end. I think his 4 minutes was the best because it doesn't focus on one major event. He doesn't focus on saving Kla's brother, being better to Great, or turning away from his family and the business. He in retrospect chooses them all in his 4 minutes. Going back to that moment with Kla would rewrite everything because he and Tonkla would be in totally different situations. Maybe he would not go so far into his father's business, maybe he would have the ability to not hold slight hostility towards Great, maybe he could live normally and without massive guilt. He went far back enough to a place where they were all ignorant to what would eventually be a massive blow to their respective lives. 4 Minutes at its core is about choices and how they affect us. The choices we make are markers in our lives that can shift our perceptions and personalities. These are choices we have to live with, regret, overthink, and move on from. The question is, can the couples?

The show answered that too. Great and Tyme were good people who learned to be apathetic to the world and others. But they never truly made choices that they couldn't eventually live with. Korn and Tonkla were doomed from the beginning of their awkwardly balanced relationship. They were the only two main characters that could not live with their choices. Tonkla would never truly be happy even if Korn finally came out and declared him his boyfriend because he already lost the one most important thing to him. Korn didn't even like his job, was constantly exhausted, and bitter about choices that were made for him. If he truly loved Kla, his way of showing it was terrible, and watching his rewrite of their time together made it more heartbreaking. Which was why it was so easy for Kla to find someone else to alter that dynamic. The love and affection he received from Korn felt wrong in comparison to what he was to Korn, a sugar baby. Asking for raw sex is something you (typically) do with someone you trust and are faithful to. But Korn couldn't give him that because he was not faithful and they'd never truly be together in this life.

The Korn we see in the present does not realize just how much of a bad guy he is. He's stepped too far into his father's world and can't get out. From the jump, he liked the power imbalance but when Kla finally broke it, their worlds unraveled. Great was eventually willing to give up the comfort of the money and life he lived with. While Korn was never going to and when he finally realized that his place with his father really was nothing, it was too late to turn around. It was too late to say I am going to be a better person. Both he and Kla were cursed with the oldest sibling trope, the kids who have to fall into a specific role whether they like it or not. The biggest tragedy in my opinion isn't that they died, it's that 4 minutes Korn sees. The person he and Tonkla could have been if he had made a different choice. It's the realization a part of him really did love Tonkla but he was never strong enough to choose him and that played a part in their demise.

[nyxthepixystick]

'Til Death Do Us Part

Jude Jazza x Lillianne (oc) Content Warnings: Mentions of Death, Character Death, stab wounds, blood, weapons, and pregnancy Word Count: 1790 A/N: I hope I do this justice. This is the first fanfic I am posting here, and I actually finished it. I generally hope it makes sense and works. I will eventually be making a post about my oc Lillianne. She is super fun to write. Also giving my thanks to @drachonia for being forced to read this a million times due to me overthinking.

The moonlight shined from the window as Lillianne pressed her hands against the wounds of her lover. It was too much, and she had to try to stop the bleeding. Deep down, she knew that this was the end. Lillianne knew this would be the last time she would be around Jude. He made a contract and did not back down from it. He never breaks promises. 

Lillianne looked up at Ellis who stood there looking at the bleeding Jude and the knife that he held in his hand with the blood still dripping down. She pleaded with him, “Ellis, please, please help Jude. We need Roger here.” 

“Lil’ wolf, no can do,” Jude smirked at her, “I never break any promise. Ya get that?” 

Lillianne shook her head, “But I can’t lose you, yet. We have years left.” 

Jude shook his head as he knew it was coming to an end: his life, and his curse. He couldn’t keep his head up anymore and slammed it back on the door. He had no energy left, and everything was in pain. Jude didn’t know what was left of his energy. 

Lillianne felt his chest start to stop moving, and grabbed his hand, “Jude, please. I love you. Stay with me.” She was not ready to lose him and was not ready. That was the moment she knew. He was gone. Lillianne felt something warm come down her cheeks as she choked back a sob. She leaned down and pressed a kiss to his head. How was she supposed to know that today was going to be Jude’s last day? She would have slowed down this morning or wake up on time. 

Lillianne groaned as the cold air hit her naked body. She tried to reach for the covers, but they were nowhere to be found. The morning light blinded her eyes as they opened. 

She opened her eyes again in barely a squint to look over to her boyfriend holding the covers, “Why did you take them? I have not been oversleeping! The clock has yet to ring eight.” 

“‘Cause ya overslept” A grimace appeared on his face as he looked at his pocket watch, “Princess, it rang over an hour ago.” 

Lillianne immediately woke up and cursed, “Fuck! You just decided now to wake me up! I told you that I needed to be by the latest eight! I have so much work to do, and I am so behind as is!” She freaked out as she started to run around her room to get ready. 

Jude laughed at the scene in front of him, “‘Cause every time, I woke ya up. Ya decided to curse me out! I just gave up, ‘til I realized that ya weren’t gonna wake up.” 

Lillianne walked over after finishing getting ready. She wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled, “I’m just grateful at least you decided to wake me up.” 

After snapping out of her daze, Lillianne found herself sitting on the sofa in the parlor in new clean clothes. The other members of the Crown were discussing the loss of the member. Due to the contract that Jude and Ellis made, plus the fact that everyone was destined to die based on their curse, nothing was going to happen to Ellis. Even Lillianne herself could not be mad at him, Jude never broke a promise, even if Lillianne felt like he did. Lillianne just did not know what to do at this point. She knew that in this conversation; she was not paying attention. Even when people started to try to get her attention, she left the room and walked somewhere in the castle. 

The door loomed in front of her as she knocked, but there will never be an answer. Lillianne opened the door and walked in. It was cold and empty now, but the smell was the same: Sandalwood and cigarettes. Her body moved towards the bed and lay down to be engulfed in the scent. He’s not here anymore. Even if he was not a light, he was a light in her life. He helped her when he rescued her in the past. He gave her a job in his “trading company”, and invested in her sewing business. She did provide him with details, and when they joined the crown, Ellis alongside them, everything just clicked into place. Mission after mission, it was a long road. They were all cursed and all did different things. 

What was even the happiest moment of what happened? Why did she not see it? Why was she not there to stop it? Looking at her hands, she can only envision the warm, sticky blood on them. There had to be more that she could have done.

A voice came from inside the room as the door clicked shut. How did she miss it? How did she not hear them coming or not smell them? When did her senses all dull? 

Lillianne sat up staring at the man who entered the room, “Go away.” 

“I am not leaving you alone, Lillianne. You need someone with you. I need to make sure that you are happy as well,” Ellis walked over to the bed. He pushed her legs to the side and sat on the edge of the bed. Ellis knew Jude would be complaining if he saw that Ellis sat on his bed. 

“Why should I care? How can I be happy if I can’t be with him? He died in my arms,” Lillianne shook her head, “I never imagined my life without him. Ellis, I can’t even hate you. I have no one to blame for this.” She leaned her head against his shoulders before starting to cry again. “I hate it here. I hate it. How can he decide that now is the happiest to leave me? What about me?” 

Ellis sighed and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, “He was just ready. He was happy with you and still knew that if it was not me. It would have been tortured, and I think he just did not want people to get to you.” 

“Bullshit. I can take care of myself. I am the strongest one here. I can handle anyone who comes my way. Why else do you think I have wolf claws?” She curled her hands and her sharp nails gleamed in the moonlight. 

Ellis shook his head, “I think you just sharpen your nails, but I will not deny your strength. You are the strongest crown member.” 

Lillianne smiled at him and closed her eyes. One day, she will be able to understand Jude’s choices. She opened her eyes again feeling Ellis’s shoulder move, “What is it?” 

“Jude wanted you to have this,” Ellis pulled out a ring box and a folded letter from his pocket. He handed the letter over to Lillianne. 

Jude’s handwriting scrawled out on the front of the letter, addressing it to Lil’ Wolf. 

Lil’ Wolf,  

If ya see this, I must be dead. Dead before I got a chance. I never told ya much, but I do love ya. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with ya. ‘Cause, your entire being means everything to me. I never thought I would make this promise to anyone else, but I guess ya just happened to be the one. I can imagine the shit-eating grin on ya face. I gave this note to Ellis. The box is the promise for us. I told him to give it to ya when the time was right. So keep the ring as a promise. 

‘Til death do us part,

Jude

Lillianne placed the letter on her lap as soon as she finished reading the letter. There was not a shit-eating grin on her face as Jude predicted, but in fact, a softer, sadder smile. Lillianne took the ring box from Ellis’s hand and choked on a sob as she opened it. The ring was simple, but it was gorgeous: a simple silver band and an amethyst stone sitting in the middle. It reminded her of all the times that she stared into his amethyst eyes. She slipped the ring on and made a silent vow to him. 

 A few months after Jude’s death, Lillianne looked at the Crown’s “doctor”, and shook her head, “You are lying. You are fucking with me right now.” 

“Do I look like I am joking, little wolf?” Roger stared back at her, “I am telling you the truth. All your symptoms add up. Being sick, weird cravings, weight gain, mood swings, and I hear two heartbeats. You are pregnant.” 

Lillianne shook her head, “You mean that I have a baby growing inside me. How did it even get there? Who’s his father?” 

“Most likely whoever had sex with you last.” Roger replied bluntly as a soft smile appeared on her face, “You just remembered, didn’t you? Must be a gift from him.”

The realization slammed right into her face like the times that she slammed a door right into Jude’s face when he pissed her off. 

“It is. He’s paying me back after all this time.” A hand rested upon her stomach, and she smiled even bigger, “I just wish he knew that his happiest moment would be later. He would have been able to experience this.” Lillianne started to walk up the stairs from the basement room as she had more to think about. She couldn’t believe that she was pregnant, but it was different since Jude would not be here to help raise their child. Lillianne walked towards Jude’s room. She always went there when she wanted to speak to him, but she never moved a thing. She only moved his covers when she wanted to sleep near him. 

Lillianne walked over to the window, and looked at the forest surrounding them, “Well, my love…” she started as she touched the ring on her left hand; the amethyst glowing in the sunlight. “If you were here, you would be helping me with our family. Can you believe it? I got your last present. One that neither of us expected. I know that I made a vow to you, and I want to make another promise to you. Ones that I will never break. I will always protect our little one: cursed or not. This little one will have the best life that I can provide. Our child will be raised in a good home, even if there are a few oddballs here. Our child will never have to suffer the evils that we’ve had to face throughout our daily lives. Curses or not, I will protect them until the very day that I join you in hell.” 

[chaosduckies]

Restoration (Chapter 6)

I had no idea what to do with this chapter, but it’s going to mostly lead up to something that’s going to happen later on! So mostly a filler chapter just because why not?

Word Count: 5.1k

CW: Slight mentions of suicide, slight trigger warnings, serious overthinking

6-Nathan

A week has passed since that night. But I couldn’t stop thinking about how I just hugged him. How embarrassed I’ve felt since then. How awkward I feel when I’m near Ryker. Even though he wasn’t at all bothered by it. It hasn’t left my mind. I just feel so embarrassed by it. I mean, we barely knew each other and I just went up and gave him a makeshift hug? Not something people do on an ordinary basis. But still, I haven’t forgotten the way he gently pressed one of his fingers against my back to return the gesture. Somehow I was terrified, but also… grateful? Happy? Whatever the word for it was, it just felt nice. 

I spent that entire week trying to talk to him again, but I guess the adrenaline rush was the only reason I could get those few words out to him. Of course, because I can never get anything to work out in my favor. Typical Nathan. 

Well, during that week, my mom had taken off from work to be with me, since she’s apparently realized that I’ve “been in and out of it,” This entire week. Which I have, I just didn’t think she’d really notice. But of course she does, because she’s a parent and a nurse. How could she not notice? 

She asked me everyday for the past five days after school how everything was going. I would always reply with a smile and say, “It’s good.” Even though in some cases I was lying. Sometimes at school I would stare off into space, not paying attention to anything anyone ever said. Or sometimes when Ryker was talking I would just cave in on myself and ask: Why am I even here? What was wrong with me? Heck, even Ryker has noticed and tried confronting me about it. He told me I didn’t have to answer, and I didn’t. Afraid that I would ruin whatever friendship we’ve made. Or if he even considers us friends. Though, I doubt that was a possibility. 

I had no idea what was wrong with me. Ever since that… hug, I’ve been nothing but a mess. Was it the unbelievable act I thought I could never do again? The way I felt about it afterward? Was it the fact that I wanted to talk so bad, but I couldn’t? Mom can’t know about any of this. She’s already heartbroken enough, and I’d hate myself even more if I dropped this bombshell on her. This is why I needed my dad. Even when I was younger I was always timid and shy and I overthought plenty of things. He’d help me by saying that I should put all of those bad thoughts into a jar and throw it far, far away. But that was when I was a kid. What about now? 

Mom was really worried about me. I could tell. But I was fine. I think. Probably not. Either way, she called the school counselor in hopes that whatever was going on with me would go away. I knew she hated seeing me so sad. I remember when we were still… trapped she used to try to keep my happy by playing little games, or telling me made up stories. As I grew older she tried her best to keep me from crying, trying her hardest to keep me happy. Even after dad died. 

So, this was the week I had started to take counseling after school every Monday and Thursday for forty minutes a day. On top of that, she also contacted Mrs. Kay for whatever reason, and she’s told me that she wants to work with me for at least twenty minutes everyday after class. Great, right? So much for a normal life. I thought I could give it another chance and all of a sudden people are just trying to overwhelm me when I wanted to solve this mystery on my own. 

It was a grueling morning. It was raining, hard. Thunder had sounded above the entire city, making me jump. Stupid right? A seventeen year old scared of thunder? I have a good reason. I think. Didn’t matter. 

I groaned, forcing myself out of bed. This was going to be a long day. I already knew it. It was raining, mom was passed out on the couch, and my body felt like it was going to give up on me at any moment. And luckily that stupid little project thing was over so I could finally take my regular classes. I just hoped Mrs. Kay wouldn’t assign anything crazy again. She probably would though.

I didn’t bother eating breakfast. Just grabbing my backpack on the way out and making my way to the bus before I was late. Nothing to it. The same routine as the past month. 

The school looked as gloomy as ever. Of course it did. It was Monday. The halls were filled with people talking by their class, or running down the hall like there was no tomorrow. Isn’t it too early in the morning to be doing all of that? I was barely waking up. Either way, I went by unnoticed by the crowd of people and made it to class. 

I admit it felt weird not having a looming presence above me at all times. Was that a good thing? I have no idea, but it makes me kind of miss the one-sided conversations Ryker likes to start up. I miss it a lot. Even though I never talked, I loved listening. I was so weird. Before all of this mess, I wanted nothing to do with him, and here I am wishing for his company. Why couldn’t I just be normal? 

The classes were the same as always. Nothing new to it. Then it was lunch. The time period in school where anything can happen. Especially with that encounter a couple weeks back… I shuddered at the thought, reaching the cafeteria. So many people. Too many people. I forgot how crowded it was being on this side. 

Searching for the table I sat at before I had met anyone, I found that it was taken by a group of girls. Nope. Not getting that back. Especially since I know that no one would willingly sit in the far corner. I sighed, searching for a table that was open, and not finding any. Could I just sit with Ryker again? I asked myself. It would be nice, but I don’t think he wants to see me. At least not until last period. I wouldn’t want to be bothered by me either if I were him. 

“Boo.” I jumped, catching my breath while Lucky was laughing so hard he starting coughing. I was not expecting that at all. I thought he would just forget about me. Especially since the “project” was over. I just thought I was another name to be remembered once they all graduate. 

“Sorry, sorry, but you’re so easy to scare,” He chuckles, “Wanna come sit with us?” 

It takes my mind a while to process what just happened, “Wh-who’s ‘us?’” 

“Just Ryker and me. Dylan had a basketball game so I’m all alone.” Lucky shrugged casually. Did I want to sit with them? Yes. Of course I do. I was just afraid I might zone out like I have been for the past week. What if I get scared again? What would happen then? They would all drop me and I’d be all alone again… 

I was about to shake my head before Lucky grabbed my wrist and guided us through the cafeteria to where Ryker always sits. Away from everyone else… I gulped, seeing him stare bored at whatever was playing on his phone. This was a bad idea. Who told me I could even do this? No one. Lucky just dragged me here. And there was a tiny feeling of gratefulness that he did. 

Lucky guided me into the elevator with him. It was silent on the way up, and I couldn’t help but notice the way Lucky looked at me like he was worried. Was it because I kept fidgeting with my hands? Was it because I couldn't look straight ahead? Or was it because he’s noticed something was wrong with me just like everyone else has? Probably the last one. 

“Why do… you look nervous?” Lucky had asked before the elevator made that same ding sound it always does. I didn’t take a step forward, and neither did Lucky. Nervous? I have no idea. 

“I-um… I don’t know.” I let out a sad chuckle, trying my best to give a genuine smile. Lucky gave a skeptical look, “If I promise not to tell will you tell me?” 

Do I trust that? I do. I really, really do. I had no reason not to trust Lucky. Even if I didn’t know what I was so nervous about. I don’t get why everyone was so concerned either! I was a nobody. Just another person trying his hardest to live an impossible normal life. Maybe I should have stayed at the hospital… 

“I really don’t know though.” I muttered, looking down at the ground. Lucky gave another skeptical look before guiding me out of the elevator. I still almost ended up tripping over my own two feet per usual. What was going on with me lately? 

“Hey Ry.” Lucky greeted, smiling and heading over to watch whatever Ryker was watching on his phone like it was nothing. What was I supposed to do now? I can’t… What? My thoughts were a jumbled up mess. I don’t even know what I was thinking at this point. Does Ryker even want me here? No, no he doesn’t. He’s tired of me. I already know it. Everyone gets tired of me eventually. I’m either “Impossible to deal with,” or, “Not worth the time.” A messed up system, right? 

“Hey,” He sighed, his eyes wandering towards me and flashing a soft smile, “Hi, Nathan.” 

I didn’t know what to do. Was he acting? It didn’t really seem like it. He also didn’t seem like the kind of person to act in a situation like this. Still, there was no telling. Maybe he just didn’t want to break the news to me like this? Yeah. Most likely. 

I raised a shaky hand, giving a wave and a nervous smile in hopes that Ryker wouldn’t catch on. He didn’t, but that didn’t stop him from giving a confused expression as if he was trying to put together a puzzle. Hah. As if you could solve my puzzle. I’ve lost so many pieces it’s practically impossible. I’ve tried to solve it myself many times and failed miserably. 

Ryker dragged his attention back to the movie on his phone, looking bored. What was I supposed to do now? We used to watch that hilarious cop show, but I think he only put it on to keep me from being bored and bothering him at this point. Was it all an act? Did he just play along with whatever happened? He didn’t hug me back because he wanted to? He forced himself to do all of those things just so he wouldn’t be bothered? Was I tricked again? 

I’m overthinking.

One step at a time. I said I wanted to give life one more chance, so that’s what I’m going to do. Even if this was all some kind of sick act. Even if I get hurt. I sucked in a deep breath, and sat next to Lucky, watching the events on the theater-sized screen in front of me. Usually I sat further back, but I was afraid of being alone at the moment. 

Even though I was scared out of my mind, there was also some other kind of feeling lingering in the back of my mind. I felt comfortable. Surprisingly after everything that’s been going on inside my head. I was too used to being around Ryker. That doesn’t mean I was comfortable being around any giant though. I had nearly an entire month of forced contact with him. Of course I’d be more lenient towards him. Especially after he’s made no move in those past four months to imprison me and keep me as some kind of pet or entertainment. 

“Bell’s gonna ring.” Ryker grabbed his phone from in front of us, stuffing it back into his pocket and holding his hand palm-up. Why though? We can just take the elevat-

Lucky quickly pulled his backpack on and climbed on, waiting for me to follow. I guess I didn’t have any other choice. Lucky helped me on, and we both managed to fall over on top of each other somehow. Lucky laughed while I hurried to get up, muttering quiet apologies to him. 

“It’s nothing. It happens with Angela all the time.” Lucky smiled. Ryker cupped his hand a bit and started walking towards the doors to get out of the cafeteria. Just in time too, because the bell rang and everyone was now rushing to get to class all of a sudden. I stopped looking back, afraid that the panic attack I’ve been fighting back for the past month would suddenly resurface. Nope. Everything will be okay. I think. Hopefully. 

Ryker crouched down at the part of the hallway that leads back to the human side of the school, letting us down. He barely even talked to me. In fact, the only time he was even talking to either Lucky and I was when we arrived at the table. Was he okay? I couldn’t tell anymore. I just hope that I’m not the cause. 

———Ryker———

Today was not a good day. For more than one reason. One reason being that I had work afterschool today. Another being that I woke up late today due to staying up until about two in the morning because I needed to finish cleaning. And my third reason was the fact that I’m ninety nine percent sure I messed everything up with Nathan. 

In the last week of that “project” I noted that Nathan didn’t really seem to be… himself? Of course I barely knew him and he could have something going on at home, but something just felt off. Maybe it was just that one tiny moment that Friday? Did I do something wrong? Was I not supposed to hug him back? Did I do or say something wrong to upset him? It didn’t really make sense in my head. I thought everything was going good. So why all of a sudden did he seem timid and nervous around me? 

It was that entire week. I asked him if he was okay and if he wanted to talk about it. Nathan just shook his head and gave the best makeshift smile he could manage. I knew something was wrong and that it had something to do with me. And today proved it. It seemed like we were back at step one. 

Was Nathan okay? I remember asking one time and receiving a shake of his head, but I never once thought if he did it just to answer or if he really meant it. I guess I have my answer now. I don’t know why I was so worried honestly. Maybe because in my brain I pretty much consider Nathan and I friends? I have zero idea if he thinks the same, but I hoped so. 

I forced myself through these next grueling classes, waiting for last period. I hadn’t talked to Nathan at lunch because it really didn’t seem like he was up for it at the time. I don’t want to overstep his boundaries either. What if he just wants to be left alone? I have no idea what was going on in his mind as I’ve said before, so that could be a possibility? 

Mrs. Kay had nothing being projected on the board today, which meant it was either a free day or it was some kind of lecture on relationships between human and giants. Something that this world apparently is so focused on. I guess that’s a good thing though. 

After a couple minutes of waiting, I heard the faint ding noise that comes from the elevator and watched as Nathan stumbled out, figuring out a way to trip once again. I’ve wondered for a while why he had always found a way to trip over thin air, but I could never figure it out. Maybe he was just clumsy? It would make sense, but that can’t be the only reason, right? Still, every time he fell my hand twitched to try and help, but I already knew that would tumble everything downhill. Especially now. 

Mrs. Kay had announced that today was a free day since she still had to put in some grades. Would it be overstepping if I asked if Nathan was okay again? Maybe to him, but I was already feeling guilty for being the cause of why he seems so upset. 

“Are you finally glad that you don’t have to be carried around by me anymore?” I nervously laughed, hoping for him to answer. Just build up. That was the way to do this. 

Nathan turned around, thinking about the question before rotating his hand sideways. Kind of? Honestly, that was expected because even Lucky gets tired of being carried around everywhere. Speaking of… Lucky told me something about Nathan making brownies? I’m pretty sure that was on Friday, I just don’t know when he did. But Lucky and Angela absolutely loved them. And Angela had showed me a new stuffed animal that Nathan had bought for her too. In return, she drew a picture of Nathan with some of her crayons and my heart practically melted. 

“Oh, um, Angela has a gift for you. Y’know… for the stuffed animal you bought her?” I smiled. I think it was sweet. I don’t know why he thought he needed gifts though, everyone already thought he was nice already. I guess he just wanted to make sure that no one thought bad of him? 

Nathan’s eyes widened and pointed to himself with an unsure look. Was he confused why? I don’t even know why either. I shrugged my shoulders. Nathan brought his knees up to his chest and stared at the ground, deep in thought. Did I do something wrong again? I guess now would be the time to bring up the topic. 

“I know you’re probably not going to answer me, and that’s okay! But, do you wanna talk about something? You just don’t… look okay.” I bit the side of my cheek in hopes that he’ll give me some kind of a response. He probably thinks I’m annoying at this point. Even I think I am at this point. This was a bad idea. I shouldn’t have even asked. 

Nathan shook his head, putting on a makeshift smile. He was lying. But, if he doesn’t want to talk to me then I won’t force him to. There was nothing I could do. Although, I’m sure a teacher or even his parents would have noticed this. If they haven’t already, then it would be soon. Most likely they’ll just get a therapist or he’ll eventually tell someone about whatever was going through his mind. 

The rest of the time was spent asking him how his weekend was. How it felt to be back on his schedule. You know, questions to keep his mind off of things. I think it was working. At least for a little before the last bell of the day rang. I gave a two fingered wave to Nathan, receiving a shaky one back and left the room. I still felt bad. 

———Nathan———

Remember when I said today was going to be a bad day? I wasn’t kidding. The one-sided conversation with Ryker helped get rid of the uneasiness of going to the counselors office. But as soon as the final bell rang it all came flooding back. Last period wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. Not bad at all. Not until that loud bell rang, and the entire classroom rushed to get out. 

On my way down the hallway to the counselor’s office, I couldn’t stop thinking about what could possibly go wrong. They might give up on me too. They might tell me to just go home. Or they might send me back to the mental hospital. I mean, it’s not that bad of a place when you don’t have any friends waiting for you, but there were some things that I hated. No contact with the outside world, they make you take these dumb classes to help “calm the mind.” Like yoga or where you would pass a foam ball around and tell everyone your name and what you were there for. I never, ever took part in that exercise. 

Sucking in a deep breath, I knocked quietly on the door that read, “Counsellor Office. Mr. Smith” I didn’t exactly know how these kinds of things worked. All I knew is that no one liked them. 

“You must be Nathan! Please take a seat. Anywhere is fine.” Mr Smith was a tall man. He look about in his late thirties early forties, but he looked so friendly and calm. His voice was trusting and soft as well. I can’t wait till he starts talking behind my back about how impossible I was. 

His office was like any other office I’ve been in. Other than the two different colored bean bags that sat in the corner by a small book case that had a tiny tv above it with movies on the side. This room was nothing like any therapist room I’ve been in. Usually they’re cold and only have a singular couch with magazines about eating healthy and being mentally healthy. Not that those ever helped me. 

I decided to take a seat in the chair in front of his desk, fidgeting with my hands the entire time. Mr. Smith walked over to his own chair, taking out a notebook and gave another soft smile. 

“Nervous? Most students are when they walk in here,” He chuckled, grabbing a pen, “Do you mind telling me your name and how old you are?” I thought he knew that already. 

I opened my mouth to speak, “N-Nathan… I’m seventeen.” Curse the stuttering. Today was already hard enough, why does everything go downhill after I feel good about something? 

“Nice to meet you, Nathan. I’m Garrett Smith, thirty-seven years old, and I have a PhD in psychology.” PhD? Then why is he working as a school counsellor? He could be an actual therapist and won’t have to deal with so many kids. This guy was confusing, but I feel somewhat comfortable around him. Even though we met barely three minutes ago. 

“Now, your mom was worried about you. She says that you seem to be having more nightmares lately. That you seem more tired and sad lately. Would you wan to start there or talk about something else bothering you?” He asked, waiting patiently for my answer. My heart was racing. What was I supposed to answer? I didn’t even know at this point. I haven’t taken therapy for a couple months now, and usually they started with talking about the excruciating events that had happened while we were kidnapped. Instead, Mr. Smith just wants to start with this? Why was that? 

“S-sure.” I nearly squeaked. I never did good at any sort of therapy. I was always too nervous. And then they’d pressure me to answer when I couldn’t. I was afraid that he might do the same. 

“Alrighty then,” He tapped his pen on the notebook, “Would you mind telling me when you started feeling this way?” 

“Last weekend? I th-think.” I started silently tapping my foot on the carpeted ground. Just another thing I do when I was nervous. Mr. Smith didn’t seem to mind or notice. 

“Hm. Did anything… happen around that time?” He wrote something down and I had no idea what it was. Was it bad? Was it good? Did I somehow say too much to get me placed back into the hospital? Please say no. I don’t want to go back there with a bunch of screaming kids throwing the plastic chairs while I was just trying to make some cookies. 

“U-um, just this project thing for Mrs. Kay.” 

“The project where you spent two weeks with a giant in school?” He asked, his face full of curiosity. I nodded my head, playing with my hands again. I’m pretty sure he wrote that down. 

“May I ask who your partner was then?” Oh. Not a question I was too prepared for. I slightly turned to the door, the window peaking inside covered by a piece of cloth. Did it really matter who my partner was? I don’t think it did honestly. 

“Ryker…” His eyebrows shot up in shock as he chuckled lightly, “Ryker Stone?” I nodded. I’m pretty sure that was his last name. How did he know who he was though? There was no way he could know all eight hundred people in this school. That seem a bit over-the-top. 

“From my understanding, you went to his house last Friday and something happened over there?” I nodded. I shouldn’t have hugged him. I shouldn’t have hugged him. I shouldn’t have-

“Was it bad thing?” His eyebrows were scrunched up like he already knew what my answer was going to be. Nothing bad happened. It’s just that my thoughts like taking over me sometimes. A lot of times. I make a good situation and turn it into a bad one. I shook my head at his question. 

Mr. Smith laughed, “That’s Ryker for you. Not a dull moment with him.” He said it like he knew him personally… maybe he did? I mean he is the counsellor. I just didn’t think he worked with giants as well. So if he knew Ryker… does that mean Ryker knew him? Of course that’s what that meant.  

“Back on topic though, I did some looking around on you. I found some… interesting things, but also a record from past therapists. All different notes on you, except for one. That you’re known to overthink situations. Do you think that’s why you’ve been so upset lately? You have a thought on your head from the event that happened?” He wasn’t going to ask what happened? I mean, thank goodness because I don’t think I could answer, but he really wasn’t going to ask me? This guy has a weird way of getting people to open up, but it’s working. It’s working amazingly. 

I nodded my head. Ryker doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore. I couldn’t stop thinking about this. I knew it was true. I messed everything up that Friday night ruined things between us. The worst part is that I was actually warming up to him. He really did feel like friend even though I was deadly afraid. 

“Do you mind telling me what’s been on your mind? It’s alright if you can’t.” He asked softly, already knowing that this might be hard for me. It is. It really, really is. I didn’t want to lose the only friend I’ll ever make in my entire life. Even before I was kidnapped, all of the other kids didn’t bother talking to the shy, timid kid who sat alone by himself at lunch and never had a friend to play with on the playground during school. 

Now I was in high school where people still look at me the same way. I didn’t want to lose someone who was so nice to me. Who actually takes the time to talk and hang out with me. Is that what’s wrong with me? I didn’t want to see someone I care about leave me? 

That stupid cage had ruined me. 

“I-I don’t think Ryker w-w-wants to be around me,” Tears stung my eyes, and I tried my best to blink them away while sucking in a deep breath, “I-I like to think we’re f-friends… but I d-did something stupid and now that this project is over I think he’s just done with me.” A couple tears fell down my face. I wiped them with the back of my sleeve, looking down at the ground. I really didn’t want to lose the one potential friend I’ve made in my entire life. 

The room was quiet except when I heard Mr. Smith pass the box of tissues my way, showing a sympathetic face, “You don’t want to lose a friend?” I shook my head, calming myself down before I make this even more embarrassing for myself. I haven’t cried for a while. It felt good for some reason. Too bad I wasn’t going to let it go any further than a couple tears. 

“And what if Ryker still wants to be friends? What would you think then?” 

That he’ll eventually grow tired of me like everyone else. That it’s only short lived. He’ll eventually forget about me. 

“I’d be grateful… but I doubt he’d remember me after graduation.” I sadly answered. Mr. Smith wrote something down, ripping out the page he was writing on and handing me the paper. I grabbed it with shaky hands, looking over the paper. My name, age, things I’ve done while sitting in his office, and some squiggly lines. He didn’t write down questions? No notes on what he should do next? 

“I don’t like writing down the questions I ask. I think people would prefer to keep them said and not on paper,” He chuckled, “And as for your tiny piece of advice, you and Ryker aren’t so different, and I doubt he thinks ill of you.” That was it? No other questions? He wasn’t going to pry me open? He wasn’t going to force me to spill my guts to people who didn’t want waste their time anyways? No words could describe how confused and happy I was at the same time. 

“Th-that’s it?” I muttered, trying to figure out if he was playing a trick on me or not, but he nodded his head and opened the door for me. I grabbed my backpack, stuffing the sheet of notebook paper in it and walked out of the door. 

“Thank you.” I mumbled. 

Mr. Smith smiled, “Come anytime you want to talk. Just remember after school on Thursday, okay?” I nodded, thinking hard about how Mr. Smith believes, in all honesty, that Ryker won’t just leave me. He could be right. I just have to trust in his word. 

—————————————————————-

Yup. Nathan’s afraid that Ryker will leave him now that their little project is over. I wonder what happens next?

I don’t know how I feel about this chapter. I like and I don’t at the same time. We’ll see. Thank you for reading! Love you guys ❤️

[scentedpeachlandcreator]

Hi Eli i hope you are doing well and i hope you see my questionits quite different from what usually others ask... i have been meaning to ask you this for a long time since it has taken a toll on me but i kept delaying it so i am in my last year of high school just few more months left before my main exams and suddenly the thought of my career hit me suddenly and i ended up overthinking . I really dont know what is right for me and not and what i really wanna do with life and this has put me to an depression as i keep feeling down lately and have a lot of emotional outburst i also came to realisation that i have passion for nothing and also i have 0 hobbies it put me to further depression knowing that i really dont know what to do anymore i was wondering if there is any way my mind can guide me to find my passion and hobbies and also guide me to find the best careers for me to pursue that are really meant for me and i wont regret ... is it possible and how ?

Hello dear!

Oh well you're the same as me, i'm Also in my last year in high school and it getting me so stressed, but knowing the Law is a bless for me.

At first when i was 15 i didn't know what to pursued and what career i wanted since the only hobby i had was being an artist, but i Saw no future for that, since being an artist in my country means no future, no money, (i was Lost) so i started looking for things i was good at.

I noticed that i was more interested in video games, and i noticed i was a Quick learner in things that Specialize in computer, so i thought, why not be an engineer in programming? That seems cool and plus i Can create apps, video games,..ect.

So i'm working hard to graduate from high school with the highest grade.

So i don't know what the major or specialities you have in your country, but try to think with yourself, do you find this career interesting? Do you like it? Does it require for you to work hard?

And you have a plus! You know the Law of assumption, so you'll achieve your dreams.

You Can even Ask your subconscious mind what is the best path you should take, just Ask it before you fall asleep, and it will answer your question in whatever way, it Can be Dreams, signs..etc.

Or

If you want to be rich and have a stable job, you Can choose to Pursued to be a CEO, a doctor, a business woman, an infirmary, a teacher, a social influencer, a youtuber..etc.

But the only problem is that i don't know your passions, your Dreams, your goals.

But let me tell you that you Can achieve them all, now that you discovered the Law of assumption, there's no turning back, you HAVE to manifest that dream life of yours, you were meant to know for more, you were meant to live a better life.

You Can manifest to literally receive money without working.

But it's illogica- SHHH, in imagination there's no such thing as illogical or impossible.

You Can even wake up in a mansion, with your dream family,SP, being rich, having your dream face, body, wardrobe, digital devices, and ANYTHING YOU WANT.

Many people manifested crazy things!? With just imagination!? Can you believe that?! You don't Even have to lift a single finger to literally have everything you ever wanted.

Creation is already finished, there's many versions of you that have your desires, they exist, for Real.

Here's this post, where you will find every post that will make you understand loa really well.

If you want to see success stories check this blog @loasuccessarchive @loaschool

I Hope you'll find the answer you wanted, but remember to not give up, because in the end you'll feel so thankful that you persisted and got the dream reality you desired to have.

Have a nice day! (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)

Xoxo, Eli

[madisonfilmss]

I Am Yours - austin x reader

Inspired by I Am Yours by Andy Grammer 

You would always be proud of Austin for chasing his dreams. You were proud to have a front row seat to his life changing. Most of the time. It was days like this you feel unworthy to be loved by Austin. It’s currently 10:30 your time which means it’s about 6:00 am Australia time. You haven’t been able to talk to him since yesterday morning due to your conflicting schedules. You would have gone with him to Australia but you had business back home you had to be present for. 

You have a tendency to overthink the littlest things, not just with your boyfriend but in general. If someone’s tone is off, you notice it and then think about it for the next month so not talking to Austin for as long as you have makes you believe the worst. 

He’s found somebody else. 

I should have gone with him. 

He forgot about me. 

Your phone rings and you look to see Austin’s contact photo flash on the screen. Your mood is ruined now. He’s gonna pick up on it. You can’t do it right now. You decline the call hoping to pull yourself together but Austin doesn’t give you the chance because he calls you back immediately. 

There’s nothing you can do because you know if you decline it again, he’s gonna be upset with you because you aren’t answering his calls. 

You slide your finger across the screen, his bright smile lighting up the screen. You decided to keep the phone laying on your desk, hoping to gain your composure before having Austin see you upset. 

“Hi love.” Austin says as the phone call connects. 

“Hi love.” you reply 

“Where’s my girl?” he asks curiously

“I have a lot of work to do tonight, babe. I’m so sorry.” 

Honestly you were doing whatever possible to get him to hang up. You wanted to overthink in peace. Maybe even sob into a pint of ice cream, 

“I know you and I know that’s a lie. You always make sure to have your work done just in case I call you.” 

Damn it. He knows you too damn well. 

“Not to mention, you haven’t made eye contact with me once. You only do that when you’re thinking. When you’re thinking, I lose my girl.”

“Austin, I’m fine.” you say trying to get him to focus on something other than you. 

“Hey, no, we don’t do that. Talk to me.” 

“It’s stupid.” 

“That is the furthest thing from the truth. If it’s on your mind, I would really like to be let in so I am able to help you. I understand if you don’t want to tell me everything right away. All I ask is for a little insight. It doesn’t have to be much.” 

“I understand.” you say. You take a moment to finally make eye contact with him. You realize what people mean when they say “Eyes are the windows to the soul.” As you look at Austin, you realize that his soul is made up entirely of you. 

What are you doing? Why aren’t you talking to him? He’s here for you. 

“If you need a minute, I’m happy to just sit here with you. You are allowed to tell me as little or as much as you would like. Take all the time you need.” 

You nod before closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, 

“It’s just– I’m not there with you and the time difference and the headlines and gossip. It makes me feel like you’re going to forget me. I’ve seen the paparazzi photos, Austin. You and Olivia look pretty damn cozy.” you take a breath trying to calm yourself down. 

You didn’t realize how upset you actually were about this whole situation. 

I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten so upset.” you say as you make eye contact with Austin. 

“Love, you have every right to be upset. I completely understand. Would I like you here by my side every minute? Yes. Do I wish when I got anxious before press and events you were by my side? Yes. Do I wish afterwards it was just the two of us? More than anything.” 

“Austin, please.” you practically beg him. You already feel bad enough not being there with him. 

“Just let me finish. There is a point to this. I promise.” he says. 

You look at him, waiting for him to continue. 

“I also know that you are kicking ass back at home and as much as I wish you were here with me, I could not be more proud of you.” 

Your eyes were welling with tears. 

“For years I have been lost. Lost without you. I didn’t understand what my purpose was in this life. But I know who I am now. I am yours.” 

You were full on sobbing now. 

“I am yours now and always. I wouldn’t dream to be anything more. You take my breath away every time. I honestly still can’t believe it when you say you’re mine.” 

This distance was hard on both of you but moments like this makes you stop and realize that you don’t want anybody else. 

“Love, I don’t think you will ever truly know how much you saved me. It was the first time that you smiled at me. I knew right then that I was put on this earth to love you.” 

“I will tell you that as much as I need to in order for you to believe it. I love you so much.” 

“I love you more than you know.” 

You were going to bed that night wondering how you got so lucky to be loved by Austin. 

[anulithots]

Welcome, non-plant beings, my creatures of night and nonsense, my dear audience, to this weird and wonderous collection of mine.

I promise you won't be told a story with an answer, with some "here's how I fixed my life & the journey it took to get there" I promise that there won't be a "hope to get better" which makes now feel so stark in contrast. I promise I wont make it seem simple or linear or a sudden "aha moment" to make things suddenly seem clear.

What I promise is a story, to the best of my ability, where there are no weeds to pull. no seeds to plant, no fruits to pick. The garden will grow and die, change & cycle back to the beginning. And through it all, in this moment with the dappled sun reflecting off the dew, the weeds in a thick blanket, forgotten fruit as a feast for the birds - we are wild and it is beautiful, no matter how much they want a cultivated, perfectly trimmed and oh-so-stale-garden.

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TL;DR - I'm currently in a Link Click hyperfixation, and I my main WIP is the Land of the Fallen Fairies. I also have a biology fanfiction and a teddy bear nightmare warrior story on the side. And I like being asked about character analysis, whether that be my own characters or any character from this list + characters from LInk Click

-----

How the fae/faer/faerself pronouns work

Open to tag games and asks and... literally anything.

Name's Noor/Noorie btw. Closeted genderfluid and aspec (queer platonic/split attraction model... or whatever this is). Pronouns are they/them, it/its and anything fancy.

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Each of the subsections leads to masterposts for everything! (The intro post got waaayyy tooo long)

The Land of the Fallen Fairies.

A nature-themed commentary on the pursuit of happiness and fixing yourself to deserve that happiness, told by an overthinking, unreliable, houseplant narrator.

Zine

Uquiz

TW: self-hatred, suicidal thoughts, and self-deprecation.

Anuli's story collection.

Anuli's (and my) favorite stories from around tumblr

Jujutsu Kaisen Hyperfixation

As the name suggests, I am hyperfixated. I have also written essays analyzing these characters. Be very afraid. And/or come suffer with me /pos

Also also, for those who don't want to see any JJK smut, this blog should be safe for you! <3 I ship Satosugu but in a... transcend labels, queer platonic flavor sort of way. And I flipflop on itafushi. Either way they are soul mates and transcend labels. Found family dynamics and everlasting friendships/comfort people are peak fiction for me.

Link Click Hyperfixation

They are my everything. They can live in my head rent free foreverrr.

Tumblr's houseplant garden.

Growing a garden of houseplants based off this weird thing called existence, "planted" by others from tumblr.

Fantasy Frog and Toad

A story about two princes cursed to be a frog and toad because they couldn't decide on whether to be self-determined and individualistic, or be traditional and family oriented, because why can't you be both?

_______________________

Tagging system

#link click <-- the collection of link click things I shall hoard like a dragon

#the land of the fallen fairies <-- everything related to the land of the fallen fairies (following this one would be a good idea if you want random updates, or you can join the tag list <3)

#feelings are weird <--- random snippets of Russian Roullet of whether I'll snap or not, along with some sideways spiraling. (this is different from the next tag, but it takes a lot of time to explain how so.)

#I'll fill my grave with fanart <-- doom posting specifically. Apparently I've learned how not to snap and I want to return that but the manager won't answer my phone calls.

#Anuli's favorite stories <-- Stories that I and Anuli like. (Give or take, Anuli faerself has a slightly different taste than I do... but here's the tag)

#plant posting <-- whenever I talk about houseplants

#Noorie listens to songs on loop <-- My inconsistent music taste (you get iphone piano ballads... just saying)

#Noorie infodumps. Be very afraid. <--- My rambling tag

#jjk <-- I reblog stuff without tags, so everything of mine that's jjk related will have this tag

my favorite post on tumblr

[curiositymemes]

MISTER MAGIC SENTENCE STARTERS : PART ONE.

taken from the 2023 novel by kiersten white. trigger warnings for unreality, trauma, religion, and cults. feel free to change wording and pronouns and provide context as necessary. do not add to this list.

“oh, i can see it in your eyes.”

“i’ve always known.”

“it’s okay to ask questions. questions are how we get to know the world.”

“safe, he / she / they’d say at the end of the day. safe, instead of good night, or i love you.”

“yes, it’s really me.”

“a lot of people never got closure. including us. especially us.”

“we all worried about you, you know.”

“i can’t believe i finally found you.”

“name, what did you do?”

“you don’t recognize me, do you? well, i’d never forget you, name.”

“what the actual fuck?”

“you’ve been here the whole time?”

“there’s always a spot for you.”

“i feel weirdly compelled to warn you about stranger danger.”

“i don’t remember you, but i know you. that’s enough for me, today.”

“i have so many more questions than i did before.”

“it was amazing, until it wasn’t.”

“we were all just kids.”

“time passed different then.”

“i’d say it’s like no time has passed but really too much has.”

“don’t overthink it. we’re almost there.”

“that’s so creepy. please read them all right now.”

“i changed my mind. i don’t want to hear this.”

“what’s fanfic?”

“sounds like one of those nonsense inspirational facebook posts.”

“this can’t be right.”

“i’m giving it thirty more minutes.”

“stay with us tonight, wherever we end up.”

“again, i ask: what the fuck?”

“it looks like someone put a regular house on a medieval rack and tortured the shit out of it.” / “funhouse mirror version of a house.”

“name said we aren’t staying here, and we all know she’s / he’s / they’re in charge.”

“it’s late and cold and none of you are wearing jackets.”

“is it okay if i spend the night? is there room?”

“did we all collectively dream this?”

“how does everyone remember something that, for all intents and purposes, never existed???”

“WHY DO I FEEL LIKE I MADE THE WHOLE THING UP”

“don’t sit too close. you’ll burn your eyes out, remember?”

“sorry, i’m exhausted. it’s been a long day. long year. long decade.”

“can we figure everything out in the morning?”

“let’s explore. up, or down? down, right? gotta be down. that’s where the bodies always are.”

“your mom- / dad- / parent-voice is powerful.”

“you haven’t changed at all.” / “excuse me, i’m much handsomer.”

“shut up, dork.”

“i can’t remember the last time i saw this many stars.”

“i feel like i’m losing my mind.”

“i just can’t believe you’re here. you’re really here.”

“i felt so guilty that i lost you, i shaped my whole life around the space where you were missing.”

“it was my job to watch out for you.”

“i wasn’t strong enough.”

“is it crazy that i feel closer to you than anyone else in my life?”

“it haunts us. knowing what we had, and that we can never get it back.”

“i never moved on. i never moved on at all.”

“i was only age but that shit has haunted me ever since.”

“if i had to live inside it all these years, so do you.”

“you really don’t remember it?”

“which question do you want me to answer?”

“i can’t remember the last time someone made breakfast for me. that was really nice of you.”

“i need this to work. it’s got to work.”

“i don’t want you to go through this alone. i’ll stick with you, if you’ll have me.”

“there’s something else going on here.”

“hey now, that’s not fair.”

“i guess he / she / they taught me how to survive.”

“they loved me in a way i needed to be loved. they were always there.”

“i don’t know what was real and what was nightmares after.”

“to be fair, no one ever thinks i’m a p.i., which can come in handy.”

“she deserves / he deserves / they deserve so much more.”

“not hidden, just unnoticed.”

“i’d say get a life, but i’m here talking to you about it, so i can’t really criticize.”

“married a kennedy. it was that or a bush, and kennedys throw better parties.”

“i’m trying to think what else i shouldn’t say about myself.”

“don’t worry about it. they won’t be mad at you, and they’ll be mad at me no matter what i say.”

“i figure, why poke a sleeping bear when you can kick it in the balls instead?”

“my rebellious-teen phase was cut short.”

“people think children’s lives are simple, easy, but it’s the opposite. everything that happens around them affects them, and they don’t have the power to affect any of it back.”

“you seem really intense about a show that ended thirty years ago.”

“your hand okay?”

“i’ve never needed anything more in my entire life.”

“look elsewhere, sweetie. trust me. you don’t want anything out there.”

“the desert does have a way of wriggling into your soul.”

“you’re small, and you’re alone, and you don’t matter. and that’s okay.”

“go anywhere else.”

“this doesn’t have to change anything.”

“that’s what i want. change. it’s what i asked for.” 

“we’re not in trouble.”

“i should have given you a better warning.”

“i need to go alone. but don’t leave!” / “i’d never leave you.”

“if the cops come, we can thelma and louise it out of here.”

“name, you didn’t do anything bad. you were just a kid.”

“you can’t make me!”

“well, come in, i guess.”

“i’m afraid it’s not going to be enough.”

“did any of us actually make it out?”

“she / he / they didn’t ask anything of you except approval. maybe she’s / he’s / they’re still asking for that.” 

“you sound like a fucking psycho.”

“you can tell me if i did a good job, if people will like it.”

“we made a deal, so we’re doing what we’re told.”

“keep going. you’re doing great.”

“i did everything i was supposed to, followed all the rules.”

“i’m so sad, all the time, and i don’t know how not to be sad.” 

“i’m the link holding everything together and it’s all just weight. it’s weight, and it never lets up, and no one else ever holds it. no one else even notices it.” 

“i don’t understand how i can be there every moment of every single day and somehow not exist at the same time.”

“i’m not happy, and i don’t know how to be happy.” 

“i want this part to be over.”

“do you have any questions for me?”

“you were getting better.”

“we were doing what was best for you.”

“but you always got your way.” 

“because he’s / she’s / they’re an idiot, that’s why.”

“i was going to be so proud to be your mother / father / parent.” 

“even now, they blame me.”

“did you look for me?”

“i need your phone.”

“we were playing a game of hide-and-seek, but no one was seeking.”

“what do you want to do?”

“i like it better this way. adds character.”

“i thought you couldn’t remember what happened.” / “i didn’t say i didn’t remember. i said it doesn’t make sense.” 

“you’ve been through a lot.”

“i don’t matter.”

“all that matters is figuring out the truth.”

“listen to me: it wasn’t your fault.”

“i’ve always known i did something unforgivable.”

“you still blame yourself.”

“you were my responsibility.” 

“it feels unfinished, doesn’t it?”

“you want to stay?”

“this is a celebration, not a tribunal.”

“she says  / he says  / they say they’ll meet us there in a couple hours.”

“oh, it’s not that bad of a joke.”

“why are you sleeping, lazybones? there’s so much to do.”

[elizaellwrites]

OC Questionaire #3

Thank you @willtheweaver for tagging me!

These are answers from 4 of my OCs from Legacy of the Fallen

1. Is there someone you look up to?

Anna: "I look up to my father. He struggles a lot, but he's been there for me my whole life. He's worked hard to support us and protect me even when I didn't realise I needed protection. Yes, he did lie to me about our past, but I understand why. He lost everything except me, and despite him being afraid about me returning to our people, he's respected my decision to do so. I just really love him."

Eleanor: "Cameron, no literally," (<5 ft vs >6 ft). "I'm joking, but I really do look up to him. He's smart but doesn't flaunt it. He's really skilled; he duel wields and hasn't lost a fight since I joined the observance. He's also really patient and calm compared to the rest of these crazies around here. He makes me want to get better at what we do."

Jacob: "She'd never believe this, but my sister, Amber. She does things that I'd never have the courage to do. She's not afraid to stand up for her beliefs and doesn't back down. I wish I was more like her, I really do. I'm trying to become more like her."

Roselle: "Do I have someone I look up to? Not really. I respect people, but I don't think any one person should be held in such a position. No one is perfect and they shouldn't be treated that way. It's a good way to lose sight of someone's flaws, and people should follow their own paths anyway."

2. Do you have trouble falling/staying asleep?

Anna: "Sometimes I get anxious and overthink; it makes falling asleep difficult. I used to wake up a lot with Father's nightmares since we had pretty thin walls in some of our places. Now, the silence at night makes me anxious, like I'm waiting to hear him."

Eleanor: "Not really, it's super easy after a long day. I just read for a half hour before bed to calm my brain down and I fall asleep in about ten minutes."

Jacob: "What's sleep?" laughs and breaks eye contact. "Yeah, it's fair to say that I haven't had a good night's sleep in years."

Roselle: "I wake up sometimes. I have this dream that's apparently too disturbing for me to sleep through. What's it about? Nothing you need to know."

Do you believe in forgiveness?

Anna: "Yes, but not always. There are some things that forgiveness just doesn't work. I guess for me it matters whether the reasoning makes sense or not."

Eleanor: "I suppose I do. Most of the stuff I forgive is just small stuff, you know. The big things I can't really let go though. We've all been hurt too much to just let that pain go."

Jacob: Lets out an uncomfortable chuckle. "Forgiveness." He looks down at his feet and pushes a hand back through his hair. "No, I don't really believe in forgiving what's done. What you do defines you; you can only do what you can to redeem yourself and live with what you've done."

Roselle: "No, unless it's something stupid like forgetting to return a pen or something. Forgiveness does nothing but let someone get away with hurting you or others. It's better to give them a taste of their own medicine if you know what I mean."

Tagging: @mushroommanchanterelle, @flowerprose, @illarian-rambling, @darkangel319, and @shellyscribbles

Your questions for your OCs are:

Have you had your heart broken?

What is your biggest regret?

What is your greatest ambition?

Do you believe in an afterlife?

What is your proudest moment?

[dirtyoldmanhole]

SURPRISINGLY not about gunter. or fates. somehow this blog became 'fire emblem blorbo blog: speedwing* boogaloo' :P (*for those of you who are not like, ancient, "speedwing' used to be my old tellius-based sideblog.)

anyway

(very very very self indulgent ramblin / workshopping about future FE projects ahead)

next year's FE9's 20th anniversary and i am dead set on doing a zihark doujin for it. i got halfway through with one with tons of drawings that are still badass, lord knows that my fondness for him eclipses everything else i've ever drawn, i feel like i can finally do him justice, etc. this is The Moment tween krad has been waiting for all her life.

thing is i've been quietly debating to myself for a year or so if i want to do a strictly canon based doujin or one with selfshipper Stuff.

see, i thought i was going for more of a fanservice angle to sidestep that a little (still totally sliding that in whenever possible) but my brain unfortunately needs like a Modicum of Characterization :D; (as i am finding out with this gunter doujin). i need little plot hanger hooks even if it's gag strips or one off doodles.

and. i like. okay.

quick pros/con of canon-based doujin: wider audience, i don't have certian hangups over it

quick pros/cons of selfshipper doujin: it would probably heal certian parts of my soul if i wasn't being so chickenshit about it. it'd still be pretty? but it'd be harder to draw. i don't know if it would have a meaning to other than literally one (1) alive person and at some point i do have to kinda weigh the 'is the time sink worth it'

anyway

there's, very literally 20 years of inside jokes and shit with the selfshipper thing. i cannot stress to you zi literally got me to start drawing seriously. i don't know why i'm saying this other than 'this verse might be a bit self referential and i don't know if people would Get It compared to just canon (which i 10000% love on its own rights, it's not like i'm secretly dying to just do the selfshipper thing - ideally i would do a doujin of both because just what's in the games proper is so, so cool. he's such a weirdo. :D and tellius is the kind of cast i could stick him with literally anyone and wrangle up a cool scene.

- but. but?

the obvious answer is (do a doujin with both krad, like duh, people are gonna love the pretty pix no matter what ur overthinking it) but it just feels weird...? mixing the streams, if only in a pure technical/storytelling sense, and even above Personal Stuff i want to respect this on a pure craft level. ( i 100% love and go feral over the current wave of the selfshipper revival and would protect them with my life but with me it still feels inexplicably private and... i'm of elder internet, man. for me it still feels ... like it did in the 00's. very fringe-y vulnerable, you know? if you were there you know. idk. i'm still working through some of that.

feelings, god i hate feelings. just give me gorgeous dudes to draw to shut my brain up :D;;; )