#i know korn is an ass hat but i love a good ass hat

[bubbipond]

To date, my favorite 4 Minute replay we see is Korn's at the end. I think his 4 minutes was the best because it doesn't focus on one major event. He doesn't focus on saving Kla's brother, being better to Great, or turning away from his family and the business. He in retrospect chooses them all in his 4 minutes. Going back to that moment with Kla would rewrite everything because he and Tonkla would be in totally different situations. Maybe he would not go so far into his father's business, maybe he would have the ability to not hold slight hostility towards Great, maybe he could live normally and without massive guilt. He went far back enough to a place where they were all ignorant to what would eventually be a massive blow to their respective lives. 4 Minutes at its core is about choices and how they affect us. The choices we make are markers in our lives that can shift our perceptions and personalities. These are choices we have to live with, regret, overthink, and move on from. The question is, can the couples?

The show answered that too. Great and Tyme were good people who learned to be apathetic to the world and others. But they never truly made choices that they couldn't eventually live with. Korn and Tonkla were doomed from the beginning of their awkwardly balanced relationship. They were the only two main characters that could not live with their choices. Tonkla would never truly be happy even if Korn finally came out and declared him his boyfriend because he already lost the one most important thing to him. Korn didn't even like his job, was constantly exhausted, and bitter about choices that were made for him. If he truly loved Kla, his way of showing it was terrible, and watching his rewrite of their time together made it more heartbreaking. Which was why it was so easy for Kla to find someone else to alter that dynamic. The love and affection he received from Korn felt wrong in comparison to what he was to Korn, a sugar baby. Asking for raw sex is something you (typically) do with someone you trust and are faithful to. But Korn couldn't give him that because he was not faithful and they'd never truly be together in this life.

The Korn we see in the present does not realize just how much of a bad guy he is. He's stepped too far into his father's world and can't get out. From the jump, he liked the power imbalance but when Kla finally broke it, their worlds unraveled. Great was eventually willing to give up the comfort of the money and life he lived with. While Korn was never going to and when he finally realized that his place with his father really was nothing, it was too late to turn around. It was too late to say I am going to be a better person. Both he and Kla were cursed with the oldest sibling trope, the kids who have to fall into a specific role whether they like it or not. The biggest tragedy in my opinion isn't that they died, it's that 4 minutes Korn sees. The person he and Tonkla could have been if he had made a different choice. It's the realization a part of him really did love Tonkla but he was never strong enough to choose him and that played a part in their demise.

[so-much-for-stardust6]

Tour- Wes Borland/ Limp Bizkit

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summary: y/n and her band is invited to tour with limp bizkit and korn on their 1998 family values tour. but a certain someone is clashing teeth with the all girl metal band.

lowercase intended & not proof read

warnings: none (i think)

a/n: this was request by @mizfitneeds sorry for taking so long to get this request out but i loved writing it! i also don’t know why i wrote fred to be such a huge misogynistic guy 😭 also y/b/n means your band name :)

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“great going, y/n, being late to meet the bands we’re opening for is a great first impression!” my drummer, lara, says to me as we all pile out the van.

“it’s not my fault i couldn’t find my shoes! i had them next to my door before i slept!” i argue back.

“maybe you should wake up earlier than 30 minutes before leaving, just a suggestion.” my lead guitarist, veronica, spits back.

“we’re only 5 minutes late, get off my dick.” i mumble.

“yeah, tell that to them.” my bassist, chloe, laughs at my words.

we sped walk inside the recording label building, running to catch the elevator. we stood inside in silence, the angry tension thick. we reach our floor and my eyes immediately land on jonathan davis, the lead vocalist of korn.

“look at them, just waiting there for our asses.” veronica complains.

i notice munky look our way, alerting everyone about our presence. we open the glass door, an eruption of ‘hey’s filling up the room.

“hey so sorry we’re late, y/n couldn’t find her stupid shoes.” lara laughs.

“classic y/n.” head’s laugh fills my eardrums.

“head! come here man!” i open my arms for a hug.

i’ve known brian, or head as he goes by, since we were in elementary. unfortunately i had to move states so i lost contact with him until 1995 (last year) when he found my number and reached out to me. i gave him a tight bear hug which he returned as well.

“it’s so good to see you guys again. you all packed and ready for tour?” fieldy asks.

“oh yeah, i’ve been packed for days.” lara says proudly.

“she has a checklist and everything to make sure she brings everything.” chloe says, playfully shoving lara.

“are you sure they’re good enough to tour with us?” i heard fred ask jonathan.

“yeah man, they fuckin’ rock.”

“i dunno, they’re girls, can girls really rock?”

i scoff at his words but decide to mind my business and stay out their conversation.

“hey baby.” my boyfriend, wes, says approaching me.

he leaned in for a kiss which i gladly accepted. he then brought me into a side hug and rested his hand on my hip.

“okay so, tomorrow is the official day we leave for tour. we’re meeting up at the airport and we’re taking a private jet to the first city.” jonathan explains.

“private jet courtesy of me.” fred pretends to tip the brim of his hat.

i give a fake smile and fake laugh a bit, not really caring for his humor right now.

“do we drive ourselves or is there someone picking us up.” victoria asks.

“good question. i think you guys should have someone take you. personally, i hate leaving my car at the airport.” jonathan replies.

“great! what time are we leaving again?” lara questions.

“9:30am.” fred responds.

“god damn.” i mutter.

i’m an night owl so waking up early is the worst for me.

“what you can’t handle it, princess? is the tour life not for you?” fred says as he fake pouts.

i roll my eyes and felt wes’ hand grip my hip at his words.

“okay then, i believe that’s all. unless anyone else has anything to say.” jonathan clears his throat, trying to change the tone of the room.

“i do! why not have actual musicians open for us? i mean come on, no one is gonna wanna pay to see some GIRLS play music.” he scoffs.

i stood there fuming, already planning the way i’m gonna beat his ass in my head.

“seriously fred? what’s up with you?” wes asks, shaking his head in disbelief at his best friend.

“am i the only one here who has a problem here?!”

“yes.” literally everyone says in unison.

“if you have a fucking problem that fucking do something about it.” i raise my voice, leaving wes’ side to stand in front of fred.

“i’m sorry guys i-“

“no, it’s okay. i understand some guys are too insecure about women being actually good at things.” i bit back, cutting off head.

“me? insecure? i’m fuckin fred durst man. the only thing you’re fuckin is head and the rest of korn, that’s the only reason you and your girlband is touring with us anyways.”

it was dead silent after his words. i stood there glaring at him, too mad to even come up with anything.

“what the fuck, fred?!” wes exclaims.

“y/n…” chloe softly spoke.

i turned around and immediately walked out of the room, ignoring my friends’ pleading calls for me. i mutter shit to myself as i make it back to our car.

“y/n!” i hear head call out from behind me.

i slow down my speed but i don’t stop completely.

“i’m sorry for him. i-i don’t know why he’s being a dick.”

“it’s whatever. i’ve dealt with worse guys. i-i just don’t know why he’s acting like this?” i scoff.

“i don’t know either. but just ignore him.” head pleads, trying to stop me from getting in the car.

“kinda hard to when i’m gonna be touring with him.” i open the driver’s door and stuff myself inside.

head sighs as he watches me turn on the car, the music from before blasting out loud. he knew i wouldn’t come back out so he smacks his lips and walks back inside. i angrily hum along to the music as i wait for my friends.

~head’s pov~

i think of the words i’m gonna tell fred as i walk back up to the elevator. just as i was going to press the button, the rest of the band comes out.

“where’s y/n? is she okay?” lara asks, obviously worried for her.

“yeah she’s okay. understandably pissed off.”

“can’t blame her..” veronica mumbles.

“she’s in the car waiting for you guys.”

“okay, thank you. we’ll see you guys tomorrow, okay?” chloe says.

“yeah, see you tomorrow.” i nod at them.

lara lets go of the elevator door that she was holding onto the whole time after i step in. i replay fred’s words in my mind as i start to get slightly angry. y/n has been a long time friend and her gender doesn’t mean anything. once the doors open, i see that everyone was inside the room still but i notice jonathan yelling at fred. i prepare myself for the drama i’m forcing myself into.

“i don’t understand why though?!” jonathan yelled as soon as i walked inside.

“can i not have my own opinion?! jesus man.” fred tries to play victim.

“not really dude, they’re being so nice to you and you’re acting like a dick.” munky bites back.

“y/n is one hell of a rocker, you just gotta give her a chance.” wes defends.

“you only say that because she’s your girlfriend, borland! you have to pretend she’s good!” he laughs his obnoxious laugh.

“her being my girlfriend doesn’t mean shit! either way i believe they’re great musicians no matter their genders! and you fucking take back what you said about her sleeping with korn.” he was clearly pissed.

wes walked up into fred’s face and i could sense a fight brewing.

“you know what, this meeting is over. everyone go home and we’ll see each other tomorrow.” jonathan quickly ends the conversation before anymore arguing can start.

everyone quickly stood up and left as fred mumbled to himself.

“hey head, is y/n okay? i-i’m sorry i didn’t go after her, i’m just so fucking pissed at fred.” wes sighs.

“she’s just her, you know. she went back home with the girls.”

“okay okay, that’s good. i’ll call her when i get home. thanks man, i’ll see you tomorrow.” he pats my shoulder and walks away.

“okay. great. i’ll see you tomorrow.”

~time skip & back to y/n’s pov~

my alarm clock goes off, waking me from my wonderful dream. i was dreaming of wes, dreaming of things i can’t say out loud. i groan out loud as i sit up and lazily rub my eyes. i turn off the alarm and throw my blanket off. i thank myself as i look at all my packed luggages i had prepared. i hear honking from outside which made me furrow my eyebrows. i walk to my window and open the curtains to see my friends standing out their car. i fully open the window and get that chilly september air.

“what are you guys doing here?!” i shout out from my window.

“here to pick you up! hurry up!” lara shouts back.

“i barely just woke up! i thought i said to meet me here at 7:30?”

“see! i told you she said 7:30!” chloe argues with lara.

“i’ll be down soon!” i shout at them before coming back inside and locking my window shut.

i rush to get dressed and finish packing what i need, which wasn’t much since i was smart and packed beforehand. i grabbed the last items i needed and stuffed them into my carry-on bag before shoving everything out the door. i slightly struggle to take everything down to them but i manage.

“finally.” veronica jokes.

“i would’ve been faster if i had some help.”

“ooo, snarky today aren’t we?” lara laughs.

i glance inside the car and notice lara’s boyfriend mark was driving.

“oh hey mark, how’s it going?”

“it’s going. what about you, y/n?” he pops open the trunk and gets out the car to help me.

“kinda dreading this tour.” i chuckle.

“really? i thought you’d be fucking excited.” he shoved my stuff into the back of the van.

“turns out fred durst is an asshole.”

“oh, yeah i forgot about that. lara told me what happened. if you want i’ll beat his ass.” he laughs.

i laugh too knowing he’s obviously joking around. we finish putting my luggage away and all pile into the car, ready for our trip to the airport. we all blasted music and sang along, not having a care in the world. after a while of driving, we make it to the drop off.

“do you guys got it?” mark asks.

“we got it, babe. thank you for driving us.” lara smiles, leaning in to give him a kiss.

they begin to make out for a minute and we all just chuckle to ourselves knowing how lara is gonna complain about how she misses him in like a day.

“okay lovebirds, we gotta get going.” veronica butts in.

“i’ll miss you.” lara says as she pouts.

“i’ll miss you too. call me whenever you can, okay?”

“i will. i promise.”

they share one last kiss and say bye before we start heading inside. we do all the normal airport check ins and start to our way to the meetup area. i let out a breath of relief when i see everyone there except fred.

“you guys made it!” munky said, greeting us all with a hug.

“don’t worry, fred left to go get food for a bit.” he whispered in my ear once it was my turn for a hug.

“thank you.” i say genuinely.

“hey babe, how’d you sleep?” wes asks, getting up from his seat to approach me.

we share a quick kiss and a hug.

“would’ve been great if i didn’t wake up to annoying honking.” i grumble.

“you wanna sit with me?”

“duh.” i smile.

i go over and sit next to him, his black hair wet from his morning shower. his scent infiltrated my nose and i honestly felt my heart skip a beat.

“you ready for tour?” he asks, snapping me out my thoughts.

“hell yeah, i’m just a bit nervous though.”

“don’t be. i know at first you’re a nervous wreck but after the first couple shows it’ll be so normal.”

i think of his words and i take them into account. he is right and i know it.

“hopefully..”

“hey so-“

“yo jonathan i got your burger!” i suddenly hear fred’s voice.

i whip my head around and stare at the annoying man walking across the airport.

wes notices me looking distressed and instantly puts his hand on my shoulder.

“just ignore what he says.”

“what is she doing sitting in my seat?”

“i asked her to sit with me.” wes says, his voice low as he defends me.

“just because she’s your girlfriend doesn’t mean-“

“shut up fred! i don’t understand what’s your deal with them?!” wes is now face to face with fred.

“get away from my face dude.” he shoves wes back.

“don’t touch me.”

suddenly wes shoved him back and they started to fight. everyone started shouting for them to stop so they wouldn’t get kicked out.

“chill out you guys!” fieldy shouted, trying to pry them apart.

i looked around and started to see people stare at us. i looked back at the two guys fighting and decided to step in.

“fucking stop it fred!”

i decided to be stupid and try to grab their arms. that was a mistake cause fred completely went and elbowed me in the face. i yelp out when i feel myself bite my tongue harshly.

“y/n!” head exclaimed.

everyone rushed to my side as i hid my face into my hands.

“are you okay?” lara asked, rubbing her hand along my back.

i look up at everyone, feeling blood slightly trickle down the corner of my lips.

“i’m fine.” i say in a monotone voice before getting up and heading towards a bathroom.

i was fuming and was rethinking this whole tour.

“hey…you sure you’re okay?” chloe asks, scaring me.

“yeah. i’m fine.” i spit out the blood.

“wes is absolutely fuming. i think he’s outside waiting for you.”

“just tell him i’ll be out in a second.”

“yeah okay.” she leaves me alone.

i finish cleaning myself up and walk back out. i immediately bump into wes who was waiting outside for me.

“woah, hey, you okay? i swear i’m going to fucking kill him.” he says through his gritted teeth.

“yeah no i’m good now. i didn’t know what i was thinking honestly.” i chuckle.

“are you hungry or anything?”

“a little. i was rushed by some certain people..” i look over and glare at chloe.

“sorry. now you two go have fun on your little date.” she shrugs us off.

i flip her off and walk off with wes. after getting food with wes and chatting about random stuff, it was finally time for us to board the plane. i didn’t sit with wes this time but with my band mates. lara has a fear of heights so being in a plane scared her a lot. flying over new york was the most beautiful sight ever, the shining lights and the tall buildings. we landed easily and we stepped off the plane and into the chill new york air. the wind hit my face and i closed my eyes at the feeling.

“i knew you’d love the breeze.” head said from next to me.

“of course you would.”

the ride to the hotel was a big long, new york traffic not helping. my mates and i shared one hotel room, something he suggested. i set all my luggage down in the corner of the room and flipped onto the bed, knocking out immediately.

~time skip to the soundcheck~

i strutted into the arena with nothing but sweats and a t-shirt. i was exhausted from the flight and slept nearly the whole day, not getting a chance to explore.

“good afternoon sleepyhead, how was your long nap?”

“the best. you know i love my naps.” i groan out, wishing i was in bed right now.

“hey is..is fred here? i just need to know if i need to prepare myself.”

“no, they left after their soundcheck.”

i let out a breath of relief and let my shoulder loosen.

“well then let’s have a banger soundcheck!”

and we exactly did. usually for soundchecks i don’t go crazy but for some reason i was going all out like it was the main show. afterwards i was so sweaty and out of breath but i enjoyed it.

“that was so rockin!” fieldy said, patting my back.

“thanks man!” i wiped some sweat off my forehead.

“you guys rocking it like always!” wes comes out of nowhere, smiling brightly at me.

“why thank you kind sir.”

“here’s a cloth to clean yourself up.” he randomly pulls out a washcloth.

i chuckle to myself a bit and accept it, wiping off the sweat on my skin.

“thanks.” i shove the cloth in my pocket.

“yeah no problem.”

we stood there in silence, very awkward silence.

“hey so-“

“come on y/n!” chloe interrupts wes.

i turn my head to signal them to give me a moment. i look back to wes who’s looking towards them awkwardly.

“i’m sorry, keep going.”

“oh no it’s okay. i’ll just talk to you after the show.” he gives me a warm smile and a quick peck before walking away.

i watched as he left, wondering what he wanted to say. i shrugged it off and walked back to my mates.

~time skip to the show~

i took a fat swig of my beer, hoping it’ll call my nerves.

“you doing okay?” head asked, scaring me from his sudden appearance.

“i’m honestly nervous, brian..”

“hey, it’ll be okay.” he comes and gives me a hug.

i melt into his warmth, immediately reminiscing of our past friendship.

“i’m so glad i’m here.”

“i’m glad you’re here too. i’ve missed you.”

i would remember when we would stay out late after school, playing hide and seek or tag. my mom would always buy us popsicles and make us sandwiches. he was my best friend honestly and it makes me glad to reconnect.

“just remember what your mom would say, “thinking about it too much won’t prevent failure, just believe in yourself and you’ll do good.” okay?” he says into my ear.

“okay.” i pull away and give him a genuine thank you smile.

“hey y/n, you’re gonna kill it out there!” i hear wes scream from behind us.

i look at him and give him a thumbs ups, laughing at bit at fred’s dumbass self standing there with arms crossed.

“y/b/n you guys are on!” we hear someone yell.

the girls and i huddle up and do our pre-show banter before running onto stage. a large crowd cheered for us as we set up. i fixed my guitar strap and took a deep breath in.

“we got this.” i say quietly before our drummer started our first song.

everything went by so quick that it felt like it was over by the blink of an eye. i stepped away from the mic and caught my breath, listening to the crowd holler at us.

“thank you all so much! stay cool and rock on with limp bizkit and korn!” i say into the mic.

the crowd gets louder at my words. i smile brightly and walk off stage, handing my guitar to my guitar tech.

“you absolutely fucking killed it!” head charged at me and brought me into a tight hug.

i hugged him tightly, getting my sweat all over him.

“i have to call mark!” lara exclaimed before running off to find a phone.

“holy shit.” i suddenly hear fred shout.

head lets me down and i turn to look at him, ready to fight him.

“what now fred? i don’t want to hear what you have to say because i swear i will beat your ass with the adrenaline i still have.” i say sternly.

“i’m sorry. i-i don’t know why i was being such a misogynistic asshole, you guys seem cool. and you guys actually killed it out there. i’ve never seen anything like it before, and i dig it.” he puts out his hand for me to shake it.

i eye it before hesitantly shaking it.

“this is exactly what we need. you two the get along.” jonathan says, patting fred on the back.

“here’s a beer, you deserve it.” fieldy says, giving me a cold bottle.

“thanks man.” i crack it open and sip it.

“i see your boy toy coming for you.” head laughs, elbowing me.

i see wes coming towards me and i instantly get excited.

“you did amazing out there! seriously.” he brings me into a tight hug.

“thanks baby.” i pull away to press a long kiss to his lips.

“so..what i was going to ask you…w-would you like to hang out tomorrow? you know explore the place?”

“are you asking me on a date, borland?”

“basically yeah.”

“i’d love to go on a date with you.”

“ooo the two lovebirds are going out!” chloe teases.

i roll my eyes at her playful banter and laugh when i see wes’ cheeks burn light pink. little did i know wes had a ring tucked away in his luggage, ready to give to me tomorrow.

[pandasized-crevice]

MY FRESH JUST WATCHED KINNPORSCHE EP11 THOUGHTS

Pete my boy😭

AYO AYO AYO VEGAS 🛑

Pause ?pete tattoo?

Yuh Vegas dad give him a slap

Its the temper tantrum for me

THESE DUDES:kinnporsche being the dudes

God I love them LOOK AT THIM CUDDLING

OH KINN PLEASE SEE THAT ITS A TRICK

Vegas on god we’re going to FIGHT LEAVE PETES GRANDMA ALONE

I’m going to cry my eyes out this is so fucked

yES THINK ABOUT IT KINN YK SOMETHINGS UP

My kinn defender hat is ON READY he has no reason to think pete is in danger y’all come on but he still felt off about it

tankhun my king

This fit…..I need a moment to…take it in

OH Oh yk what they’re about to discover that kinn & Porsche are together together

nah they foul for this the double up on kinn💀

Y U H Y U H YUH I LOVE HIM YOU SURE DO KINN

tankhuns face please He’s me rn

AYO WAIT EHY EVERYONE OUT HERE🕴🏻

Arm & pol my two fools💀🫶

WHY CHAN GOT GLOCK OUT SIR PLEASE

NO AND ITS JUST PORSCHE WHERED THEY PUT KINN

Oh there he is okay

My heart ZOOMING RN dear lord

POL PLEASE THE COMMENTARY

Daddy wants a breakup💀

AHAHHAHAHAHAHAAH THE MAFIA GAYS WIN

The bodyguards so invested in them they are us

This safe house NICE Lemme just say that

I wanna know the hedgehogs name

Pause: bible looking real tasty. Unpause:FUCK YOU VEGAS

Porsche picking kinns bodyguards💀

OH A WOMAN

AH THE STUFF ABOUT PORSCHES PARENTS ACCIDENT

Moment of silence for Big🫡

CHAY HI BABY

YOU ARE THE REASON CHAY

Let him love you both chay😞

oh lord not the belt

damn……

OH GO PETE GO

DAMNIT I KNEW VEGAS HAD SOMETHING

S t. O p kinn reminds me of a pleased cat

oh I’m going to be so normal about this shot of kinn hugging Porsches middle so very normal

kinn grabbing Porsches ass as he should

T A Y😍🫶🧎‍♀️

Now that he can,kinn is going to be showing ALL the pda and I love that

Tf you mean slavery time🕴🏻

Love slave🕴🏻🕴🏻

YOK MY QUEEN🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

wait the vibes shifted ik y’all felt that

Time sir please

Oh shit

Oh fuck you dude yk what Vegas just kill your father you can do it

Pete AYO WAKE UP PETE THIS ISNT FUNNY PETE GET UP

Chat meets tankhun first oh lord

The fit is stunning per usual

Did they turn out fine…….

OH SHIT THIS HOW CHAY FINDS OUT ABOUT KIM

Pause:they look so good in the family picture tho

Nah tankhun knows he knows damn well what he just did

So….is this how Vegas starts to love pete???or is this tender music for not

W A I T 👁👄👁

Both y’all’s daddies suck

They beat us because THEY suck EXACTLY YALL ARENT THE ONES TO BLAME YALLS DADS JUST SUCK ASS

AHAHA HELLO PKIM🤨

Oh Kim we’re fist fighting behind the dennys let’s go

Oh Kim you’re VILE FOUL

MY BABY CHAY 😭😭

Um A FUCKING HELICOPTER RIDE FOR PORSCHES BIRTHDAY!?

WAIT THAT MEANS POOL SCENE IS BIRTHDAY SEX NOT BREAKUP SEX YES?MAYBE!? IDK PROBABLY NOT😭😭😭

This is so fuxking cute dude LOOK AT TJEM BEING CUTE

hm progress for Vegaspete??

Baby girl he’s right there……

Y’all can’t put this comedy music and make me like vegaspete🤨I won’t be swayed

ARE YALL SERIOUS🕴🏻🫥HELICOPTER HEAD😧

Not that being the segway to the black inhalier ad💀

Kim getting down to business it seems

YA OWN DADDY KIM

Why am I surprised I already knew Korn was wack

EP12 let’s see: OKAY WAIT kinn is in that fit we see him in during the trailer scenes of the shootout im so fucking sure it’s the same fit and vegaspete …..I’ll leave them to their business

[lady-une]

They Always Leave

This is something I wrote just to process my feelings about a guy. Nothing fanfic related at all. Honestly probably just a pile of emotions horribly written. But if you read it enjoy. It made me cry.

Trigger warning that this does mention drug use but honestly this stuff isn’t a drug.

Loud laughter and music could easily have been heard by anyone who happened to drive by or park near the crazy looking Toyota. For inside the Toyota held three friends, who were just doing their normal Scooby gang shit of smoking and listening to music. Their bellies were full having just engorged themselves on wings, cheese curds, and waffle fries.

The night was setting up to be a normal night for the trio, nothing to crazy. The only thing out of the ordinary was that a special appearance was to be made by a man who once partook in these normal nights. A man who’s laughter lifted one of the girls spirit. A man who did stupid shit all the time just to make people laugh. A man who’s darkness matched Alice’s. He was everything she wanted all rolled up in one stupid motherfucker.

When Alice had first met Caleb he was just some random guy who had tagged along with another guy her best friend had been seeing. Everyone knew of him as alibi, he was just some stupid redneck man. Not at all what Alice was attracted to. Yet the more time she spent with him the more that stupid redneck grew on her. She told herself it was nothing, chalked her emotions up to him just being a challenge. She knew he didn’t like big girls, he preferred his woman small and red headed. It was fine, everyone had their preference in a mate. Hell Alice had her own and this man didn’t hit any requirement.

But something changed. The playful teasing and remarks changed. She started to see him differently. An attraction started to slowly build deep in her gut. Small little hugs became more. Being so close to him that she could feel his breath on her cheek as they spoke silly things to one another about what they were doing. The urge to kiss him started to grow. The day dreams of him professing his attraction started to become recurring. The way he looked at her, it made her second guess everything. Was that smile different? Did he always follow me with his eyes? She started to ask around to see if anyone else had noticed anything or if it was all in her girly imagination. Some said he was just being friendly and a few said he probably had feelings too.

Alice had a way of showing her affection. Some call it a love language but in all honesty it was just childhood trauma and her way of trying to buy affection. To keep someone from leaving, because Alice knew they all left in the end. She had slowly started to gift him things. It started out small, a sex toy since he had been in a two year dry spell. She had taped it up with two containers of gorilla tape. She had joked saying it was to mimic being at a bar and having to work for that piece of ass. Then she had found out his favorite beer. Of course it would be a seasonal one, just like her who had a love of a hard to find seasonal liquor. She checked daily for the beer to come in stock and finally when it did she bought 3 cases knowing it wouldn’t last long but it would put a smile on his face.

For his birthday she had requested the day off work. The idea had formed to drive the hour long drive to his job and tape his truck up with clear wrap and then attach birthday balloons. Then meet him and his friend Greg at the bar for a birthday lunch. There she would give him his gift, a shirt. Nothing extravagant, just one from his favorite online brands that supported the troops. Yet that whole plan had been lost. Gone in an instant. Lies and deceit had caused her to part ways with her once close friend Greg. Caleb was a causality as her best friend had called it. Alice hated it, she didn’t want to part from Caleb.

The birthday shirt had sat days in her room at the end of her bed. Still in the delivery packaging. Alice would have just dropped it off in the bed of his truck had she known his address. Instead after a night of smoking and drinking she had finally texted him. Letting him know she had his gift, letting him know how much she missed him. With the dawn of the next day came sobriety and realization of how stupid she was. Quickly opening the chat she saw he had not seen the messages, this was her chance to right the wrong. With a click of her finger she unsent the messages to Caleb. It wasn’t until later in the day that Caleb had finally opened the chat up and saw that she had unsent the messages and called her out on it.

Alice confessed that she had texted him some stupid ramblings about the boxing match she had seen. A bold face lie but there was no way in hell she would confess her feelings to him sober. Instead she lied and then asked to meet so she could give him his birthday gift early. He had agreed to meet her while she was out with her friends. A quick drive by and it would be fine. Or that’s what Alice had told herself.

The margarita she had in the restaurant had calmed her nerves. The devils lettuce she was smoking had made her even more calm. This would be fine, she repeated her mantra “it’s fine” over and over in her head. A quick in and out.

It wasn’t long before she received the text that he was pulling up and asked where to park. She told him to look for the Yoda mobile and loud music. He replied back with a simple “LOL” and then she heard his loud truck before she saw it. Looking at her friends she smiled before getting out of the car with the gift. Caleb had parked two spots to the left of car and was climbing out of it by the time she reached him. The man wore his standard wranglers and brown boots with his KORN t-shirt and hat.

Alice laughed before nervously saying, “I should have bet on KORN instead of the fuck your feelings shirt.”

“That shirt was dirty, this was the nearest shirt.” Caleb replied with a half smile on his face.

Alice looked up at him trying to decipher what his eyes were possibly saying behind his dark sunglasses. A memory of a time earlier that summer where she yelled at him to take those damn shades off so she can see that he was looking at her while she talked to him popped in her head. To an outsider it would look like she was being mean to him but that was how they were. They would loudly bicker and cuss one another out with a smile on their faces.

“Well now you have a new shirt. Sorry I didn’t get you those jeans you wanted, you know shit just got weird and I felt weird texting you to ask about the jeans.”

“You didn’t have to.” Caleb replied as he took the colorfully bright pink Disney princess bag from Alice’s outstretched hand. He looked at the bag and back to her with a smile.

“Don’t give me that look, I saw it at target and the damn thing screamed ‘Caleb’ so I had to buy it. Now go on and open it!”

Caleb shook his head as he opened the bag up, sifting through the pink and blue tissue paper Alice had stuffed into it. When Caleb finally had the shirt in hand he tossed the princess bag into the bed of his truck and unfolded the shirt to hold it up and inspect it.

“I fucking love it Alice!” He shouted as he looked at the shirt that had bullets in the shape of a hand flicking you off.

“I wasn’t sure if I should get that one or the one with all the fish on it that said size matters. But Greg said to get this one.”

“Well I love it, thank you!”

Caleb opened his arms and Alice fell right into them wrapping her arms around his back and taking comfort in his hold. It had been too long since she got to hold her favorite person. She often dreamt of him holding her and it felt just as good as her dreams.

“Come on Alice, say your goodbyes. He is a casualty.” Yelled out Alice’s best friend from the back of the Toyota affectively killing Alice’s moment with Caleb.

“Casualty?” Caleb asked.

Alice pulled away but held on with just one hand to his KORN shirt, “Just ignore her.”

“Mmmhmm. How are things going with that?” Caleb inquired.

Before Alice could give him an answer her other friend yelled from the driver seat in his Yoda voice “Say your goodbyes and lets go.”

Alice looked from Caleb to her friends in the car and stomped her foot as she yelled “I wanna keep this one!”

The car of friends broke out in a laughter knowing that she was referencing a TikTok they had all seen hundreds of times. They thought she was being funny, they knew she had a crush on Caleb but she had meant it. She didn’t want him to be a casualty. She wanted him to stay in her life.

“You should probably get going, I don’t wanna hold you up.” Caleb said with a slight chuckle.

“I don’t want to. Can’t you stay awhile?” Alice asked looking up at him through her sunglasses. She could feel the tears wanting to come but held them back.

“You know I cant.”

“Please.” She begged.

“I have to get home.”

“Live a little.”

“I do live a lot but just not with you.”

“Same excuse every time.”

“Get going now before they leave your ass.”

Alice grabbed on to his shirt with the other hand. “I don’t want to.”

The tears were welling up inside her eyes, she didn’t know how much longer she could hold off. She hated crying in front of people. She saw it as a weakness. The many years as a child being told to stop crying or she would be given a reason to cry. Then as an adult being told by the man she was seeing that crying was a weakness and that she need to toughen up and that she wasn’t allowed to cry and be weak. She knew it was perfectly fine to cry and it was not a weakness. It was something that she told her kids all the time when they felt sad. That it was normal to cry and that you should cry and work through your emotions. Yet it was something she preached but never practiced herself. She had four kids at home to watch over, she didn’t have time to be weak.

“Thank you for the gift Alice, I really do like it.” Caleb said as he held onto one of her arms.

“I’m glad you do.” The first traitorous tear slip passed her eyes and she knew the instant Caleb saw it because his face lost all playfulness.

“Alice…” he gently called her name.

“I know its stupid. You don’t gotta tell me that. But I know the minute I let go and you get in your truck I wont see you again. All those plans we had will be gone. Who will take me to the gun shop to buy my first gun? Who will make sure that the sales man doesn’t take advantage of me? Who will help me learn to shoot it correctly? Why couldn’t you like me? God I sound like a stupid female right now. But we would have been great together you know. You matched my level of darkness, we matched each other in so many ways.”

“Alice..”

“You know it. They know it. Everyone knows it. Everyone always said that we should just get together but we both would just laugh but deep down I wanted it. God did I want it but you just couldn’t get past that I was a bigger girl. Boy do I feel fucking stupid on an epic proportion right now.”

“Alice everyone has their preference, you always said we were friends because you knew I didn’t like you like that.”

“Of course I did because I didn’t wanna lose you. Better to be friends then not have you in my life. Funny how now I wont even have that.”

The tears were freely falling at this point. Alice could no longer hold her head high, instead she looked down at the ground. She couldn’t look at that stupid face of his, that face that she knew would haunt her dreams for many days to come.

“Alice you will find someone so much better then me. My stupid ass wouldn’t make the best partner for you.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do. Look at me Alice.”

Alice shook her head, how could she look at him she was feeling pathetic at the moment. Crying because a man doesn’t want her. Caleb didn’t give her a chance to wallow in her own misery, he put his new shirt on the side of his truck bed and grabbed her face lifting it up to his. He lifted her sunglasses and looked at her tear stained face.

“Don’t cry Alice.”

“Shut up you don’t get to tell me what to do.”

Caleb took his thumbs and brushed the tears away from her eyes. “I’m not someone to cry about.”

“To me you are.”

“You gotta let me go Alice. Move on. It was fun while it lasted and we will always have our memories.”

“Do they teach you these bullshit excuses when you guys are in school? I swear it’s the same fucking thing just said by a different guy.” Alice yelled angrily through her tears.

“Don’t be mad.”

“Don’t tell me what to feel.”

“Then don’t act like a spoiled brat.”

“Then don’t act like an ass who is un-attracted to fat women.”

“We aren’t going to get anywhere on this. Please don’t be mad and please don’t cry over me.”

Alice knew she was being mad because she was hurt and that she shouldn’t be. She knew she should be enjoying these last few moments with Caleb. With shaky hands Alice reached for Caleb’s sunglasses and lifted them up to see his face. Caleb was an expert at hiding his feelings, years in the military had made him hard.

“Why did you do it Alice?” Caleb quietly asked.

“You act like I did it on purpose. I didn’t plan on falling for you. If you weren’t so fucking perfect and if your darkness didn’t call to mine we would be safe.”

“I’m sorry Alice.”

“Me too Caleb.” Alice whispered as more tears fell down her face and she stood on her tippy toes to give him a chaste kiss at the edge of his lips.

Alice tried to smile through her tears and pulled away allowing him room to get back into his truck. With him seated in his truck Caleb rolled down the window and said goodbye before pulling away. Alice watched as the man she wanted nothing more did what all men do…..leave.

[gunatps]

the gifted gang plays among us;

jack and joe 

- somehow they always get paired together whenever they play with 2 imposters.

- one time joe watched jack kill wave in the electric in cold blood and still didn’t report the body. jack killed joe last to show his gratitude. wave is still bitter about it.

- no one trusts them. they trust no one but each other.

mon

- gets killed in med every time because she trusts others when they ask her to watch them scan smh.

- surprisingly good imposter. takes her revenge by luring everyone in med and killing them.

- really good at convincing people that wave is the imposter.

korn

- “if she’s your girl then why is she doing tasks with me in electric?”

- they all vote him out whenever he reports a body. they say it’s because he looks like he self reported. he has never self reported.

- just wants to do his tasks in peace.

namtaan (i miss her ok)

- “guys how do i go inside the vents like pang?” no one believes her, they all vote her out. pang was the imposter.

- completes her tasks lightning fast.

- she insists everyone wear party hats if it’s someone’s birthday. won’t hesitate to kick you out if you don’t listen to her.

punn

- if you betray his trust once, he’ll never trust you again.

- doesn’t know how to fix wires. 

- follows claire around like a puppy, is actually heart broken when it turns out that claire was the imposter. she kills him last to show her love. he pouts for two days.

claire

- absolutely ruthless. as both crewmate and imposter. will vote out without a second thought if your guess is wrong.

- she will snap your neck navigation and then plan your funeral in discussion, everyone will try to console her while you lose your shit in afterlife.

- takes her sweet ass time doing tasks, loves to look around for dead bodies.

ohm

- a terrifying imposter. has the smoothest kills. can disappear from the crime scene under a second. he’s so fast, he never gets caught venting. 

- the worst crewmate. calls an emergency meeting every 10 seconds. likes to guess a lot. one moment you’re taking garbage from café to storage, next thing you know there’s an emergency meeting and ohm is accusing you of faking it.

- follows people everywhere just to scare the shit out of them.

wave

- he isn’t allowed to use his potential and is salty about it.

- that one bitch who watches the cam obsessively and doesn’t do his tasks. acts offended when they call him out. “i’m trying to look out for you people what do you mean.”

- is almost never the imposter. always gets voted out. says “i WILL haunt you.” right before getting thrown into the abyss.

pang

- master manipulator. he usually wins imposter by breaking friendships and letting them vote each other out or sabotaging. never actually kills so he doesn’t get caught. 

- texts wave “what if we were both imposters,,, and we kissed in the cafeteria.” before every game just to see him blush and sputter in outrage. “pang you idiot, what if we really get imposter do you want us to LOSE??”

- “i swear it wasn’t me, i was in the vents.”

[vam9ire]

Can I be an ass and say all the musical asks?? If not, just the ones you really want to do.

💖  um yeah you can!!! i didn’t answer a few tho 

1. A Song you’re ashamed of liking

honestly i know i have several, but i can’t remember. i’ve been listening to monster by kanye west i guess?

2. Favourite lyrics

i have so many,, so here’s a few off the top of my head

“crawl on me, sink into me, die for me, living dead girl” - living dead girl by rob zombie

“don’t believe in the up, i believe in the dirt, don’t ask me why, ask me why not, no one really knows, why they are alive, until they know what they would die for” - let’s all die - sharon needles

“i asked you why people die, you said we all had a design” - all those friendly people - funeral suits

3. Favourite band/artist

mindless self indulgence or marilyn manson

4. Top 5 Favourite songs at this moment

these are the songs i’ve been listening to constantly lately,

midway - bad bad hats, high enough - k. flay, wonderland - caravan palace, pathos - au palais, life itself - glass animals

5. Latest song that made you smile

mmm i think bad and boujee because my mom and i were in the car imitating the noises

6. An overrated band

twenty one pilots i suppose

7. An overrated song

uptown funk

8. Latest song that made you cry

simple and clean - utada hikaru rip me

9. Artist/band that saved your life

probably los campesinos!

10. If you could see any band/artist live, who would it be

msi !!

11. What song/album/band/artist always brings back memories for you

maybe probably korn because they make me think about my childhood and my dad. also tech n9ne because my mom loves him.

12. saddest song you know

hate for the island or the sea is a good place to think about the future, both by los campesinos!

13. Favourite song to sing in the shower

i don’t ever remember what i sing in the shower. mostly musical soundtracks or adore delano.

14. If you played an instrument in grade school, what was it

i have the musical inclinations of a butter knife, so i never played any instruments in school rip

15. What song would you like to have your first dance to at your wedding

i don’t plan on getting married, but

16. 5 Songs to have sex to

omg

la petite mort - violet chachki, often - the weeknd, desire - meg myers ( hucci remix ), after party - adore delano, two more minutes - jaymes young

18. You’re forced to listen to only one album for the rest of your life, what album is it

pink - msi

21. A song that’s a joke between you and your friends

panda - desiigner

22. A song to jam out to at 4am

the entire repo! soundtrack

23. A song that punches you in the gut every single time

paper scars - lovedrug has been a song that makes me so sad for years now. also heart swells/100-1 - los campesinos!

24. A song that calms you down

recently I - foreign fields !! and any TEED song, like garden

25. A song that makes you feel alive

lawn knives - born gold, marquis marq - stepdad

26. If you could get any lyrics tattooed, which would you choose

so i’ve been planning on getting “a heart of stone, rind so tough it’s crazy, that’s why they call me the avocado, baby” tattooed on me for a year now

27. What band/artist would you get your children addicted to at an early age

passion pit because they’re fun to listen to and their lyrics are neat

28. Can you play any instruments, if so, which

i tried to play the drums once rip

29. If you could be a member of any band for one show, who would it be

jimmy urine or twiggy ramirez in one of the older manson shows, like on the guns god and government tour.

30. CDs or Vinyls

cds!!! i love collecting cds!!!

31. 25 songs to play at your funeral

lmao i’m just gonna play the 60s batman theme and then my body is gonna be thrown into space

32. What are some song titles that you love

i just sighed. i just sighed just so you know - los campesinos!

34. Can you give me a 10 song playlist on ____

if you give me a topic i could

35. A heart wrenching song

the killing type - amanda palmer or saturn - sleeping at last

36. A band/artist you’re proud of

alaska thunderfuck

37. A song that has a lot of meaning to you

too many my dude

38. A song that reminds you of school

fuckin the cupid shuffle my dude

39. A song not sung in your native language

Dernière Danse - Indila

40. An instrumental song

the traverse town theme from kingdom hearts ddd

41. A classical song

i don’t listen to classical tbh

42. A song with no percussion

maybe i love you like an alcoholic - the taxpayers?

43. Something you’ve heard performed live

antichrist superstar - marilyn manson

45. A song from a band/artist that’s from your town/city/state/province

3oh!3 is from denver i think

46. A song made suddenly precious because of a special someone

instead of a song I’m gonna say the band sleeping at last because of you 💖

47. A song made suddenly painful because of someone special

idk if it counts but jukebox hero by foreigner makes me think of my dad and i can’t listen to it or i’ll start sobbing lmao

50. A song that you would rock at karaoke

tell it to my heart - taylor dayne lmao

51. A song you can’t help but dance to

household goods - totally enormous extinct dinosaurs

53. Your 10 song stripper playlist

i only have 5 atm, dtf - adore delano, show off - violet chachki, for your entertainment - adam lambert, if u seek amy - britney spears, party monster - the weeknd

54. Favourite Disney song

mmmm something from mulan

55. A song that starts with the first letter of your name

everybody wants to rule the world - tears for fears and tormentor - skinny puppy

56. A song from an artist still alive

seven wonders - stevie nicks

57. A song from an artist who’s dead

i don’t wanna be me - type o negative or brand new lover - dead or alive

59. A song you love with a colour in the title

progress indigo - dear hunter

60. A song you love with a number in the title

3 libras - a perfect circle

61. A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about

white lie - jhameel, walking backwards - leagues

62. A song that needs to be played LOUD

most msi songs, but i’ll say shut me up

63. A song that makes you think about life

tree of life - funeral suits or cake and sodomy - marilyn manson

64. 15 Songs that get stuck in your head easily

fuck,, life is a highway

65. A song that you think everyone should listen to

i eat ass - filthy frank

66. A song that makes you want to fall in love

i wanna boi - pwr bttm, not in love - crystal castles

67. A song that makes you think about ‘him/her’

cutie boots - stepdad, heart swells - los campesinos!, nobody loves me like you - low roar

also most sleeping at last songs

68. A song that you remember from your childhood

dig - mudvayne because my parents used to play it when i was younger and it would calm me down lmao

69. A song that reminds you of you

dramamine - modest mouse, rebel rebel - david bowie, king - years and years