#overstimulated. i think everyone can in kind of a general sense. but they act like her getting up from the couch or smth is some frantic

[skrunksthatwunk]

"hey HEY what do you have in your mouth!!! sit SIT. SPIT IT OUT GIVE IT—" but instead of talking to a dog it's me about my parents using the word overstimulated as nothing but another way to make fun of our anxious traumatized dog for doing things they find inconvenient or unreasonable or illogical (and, by extension, everyone who uses the term for legitimate reasons). (WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM!!!!!!!!!! AND ALSO WHERE THE FUCK DID THEY HEAR IT BECAUSE I DON'T USE IT AROUND THEM On Purpose BECAUSE I KNOW THEY'D BE ANNOYING ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

[lilacs-and-vanilla]

@shslsimpette commented on a different Spot post that they want an N$FW alphabet for the Spot 😈

Honestly I was thinking of making one of these because they seem very thorough. Great way to make a guideline for smut writing.

First one I’ve done before, and it was hard to get all of the words for the funky letters like Q and X. But anyways…

(god this took so long…)

N$FW Alphabet for The Spot/Johnathan Ohnn

All of the writing beyond this point is smutty

A - How good is he at aftercare?

He’s very doting.

“Did that feel good?” “Are you alright?” “Do you need anything?” “Let me get you some water.” “Do you want to rinse off?”

If you decide you want a bath, he will use his portals to (haphazardly) run you one so he doesn’t have to leave your side.

Cuddles and pillows and blankets galore, trying his best to make you comfortable.

B - What’s his favorite body part on you?

He likes looking at your face, studying your features and committing them to memory. Especially your eyes.

It completely stumps the both of you as to how he can perceive things like sight, scent, and sound without normal features like a nose or eyes or ears, but you won’t question it.

He doesn’t mean to stare, he really doesn’t. You can always tell when he is though, because the his face portal swirls in a different kind of way. What an interesting way to read someone.

He just likes your eyes, your freckles, your birthmarks, your scars, the features that set you apart from everyone else and makes you you.

The fact that he’s missing his own face adds to this little obsession. He misses his old body, but that doesn’t mean he can’t love you for yours.

It’s not entirely sexual, but he does like watching the way your face looks when you’re.. ahem. Enjoying yourself.

The way your eyes roll back, or the way your mouth hangs open, the drool and the tears. He loves all of it and he loves that he’s the one making you look that way.

C - Cum. Anything to do with that particular liquid.

He doesn’t excrete normal bodily fluids like saliva or semen. At least not anymore. Anything that comes out of him is dark and oozy.

If he’s overstimulated, all of his holes will start leaking. It can get a bit messy, especially on the sheets. Thank goodness it doesn’t stain fabric or skin…

He gets very embarrassed whenever he starts leaking (or sees it leaking out of you).

D - What’s his dirty secret?

He won’t admit it, but he’s stolen a few pieces of your clothing.

It’s proven that he can eat through the hole on his face and taste and sense spice. So I want to assume that he can also smell.

He likes to hold your clothes or your sheets over the hole in his face while he touches himself, sometimes even slipping some of the fabric in to get a taste.

But there was one time he got a little too carried away and now one of your favorite hoodies that you thought you lost is floating around in dark matter space somewhere.

He’s too ashamed to tell you.

E - Experience. How much does he have?

None. None whatsoever. At least not any hands on experience with partners other than you.

He’s seen enough p0rn (the good stuff, none of that over dramatic acting crap) to know what’s good or not. He knows what to look for, signs your close or if you’re uncomfortable.

In typical scientist fashion, he has his strategies and, in theory, he could easily keep you on the edge for as long as he wants or absolutely wreck you.

He just hasn’t mustered up the courage to put his plans into action though…

F - What’s his favorite position?

Ride him. Ride him. He likes seeing you on top of him.

He’s very vanilla when it comes to this. He doesn’t want you to twist or bend in uncomfortable positions.

But with that power of his, the ability to stick a limb through one hole and make it appear somewhere else? What else could he do…?

G - Goof or aloof? His general attitude.

He’s a goof. A whole nerd. What else would you expect of a scientist?

The only time he’s not is when he’s brooding, focused on revenge, on proving himself.

He wants to prove he’s not just some “Villain of the Week.” He wants to prove to you that he’s all you need.

H - Hair. How much does he have? Is he well groomed?

The poor man misses his hair, so he lives vicariously through yours.

He’s not particularly into hair pulling. He does enjoy this though:

Your head leaned back against a pillow on top of his fist as he grips the back of your head, holding it in place as he… (insert smexy scene that I can’t put into proper words right now).

When you’re both finished he likes to run his fingers through it, play with it, braid it, just touch it in general.

I - Intimacy. How is he in romantic aspect?

He tries to be romantic, and sometimes it works. Other times it comes off cheesy. That just makes you love him more though.

He’s a bit traditional. Flowers, candle light, cute little picturesque date night set ups (away from onlookers, obviously)

Secluded spots around the city like rooftops or museums and restaurants after they close.

And when you tell him it’s goofy shit like this that makes you want to absolutely destroy him in the bedroom, date night is normally cut a little short.

J - Does he jerk off?

He prefers to do it with you, but if he’s alone he’ll make do with his hands.

K - What are his kinks?

Edging. Edge him until all of his holes are leaking black ooze (call me weird, I have a vision). Edge him until he whines and cries and begs to cum.

Degrade him, but in a nice way. He won’t let anyone do it but you. Don’t call him pathetic. Don’t make him feel bad about himself. Make him feel like you’re in control. Like he can let himself go.

L - Location. What’s his favorite place to do it?

He’s down to do it anywhere as long as no one else is around.

And he can really go anywhere. Anywhere in your dimension or any other. Pick a spot, and he’ll take you there.

M - Motivation. What turns him on?

The edges of his holes are sensitive. If you touch the place where spot meets skin, he’ll squirm.

It feels like a tingle to him. A localized one.

Run your fingers along the inside of a hole on his palm and the feeling will shoot up his forearm. Do it on his stomach or his thighs or god forbid between his legs when his cock isn’t in use (he keeps it somewhere), and you’ll work him up real quick.

N - No, absolutely not. What turns him off? Something he won’t do?

He won’t participate in exhibitionism. He wants to be the only one to see you come undone. It’s all because of him after all. He should be the only one to witness it.

O - Oral. How does he feel about it? Giving? Receiving?

Seeing as though he doesn’t have a mouth anymore, he can’t eat you out. But he really, really wishes he could.

He was reluctant to let you put himself in your mouth, seeing as though he wasn’t sure if his strange ooze could be safely digested.

You were confident though, insistent you wanted it.

P - Pace. Fast and rough or slow and gentle?

It depends on how he feels.

If he’s feeling intimate and romantic, laid back, he’ll take things slow.

If he’s trying in that state of mind where he’s trying to prove himself to you, he will give it all he’s got to the point where he wears himself out.

Q - Quickies. How does he feel about them?

If you work him up in public, he will find somewhere in an alley or rooftop to bang one out. To bang you.

R - Does he take risks?

What’s a good villain without a few risks? And he wants to be a good villain. He just doesn’t think that applies to the bedroom.

There was the time he got a bit carried away, and in the middle of a particularly intense love making session, one of his portals opened involuntarily.

You immediately recognized your apartment building’s elevator. The mirrored walls, the carpet, the sliding doors closing behind a neighbor as they were leaving.

He apologized profusely and said he’d close it, but you told him to keep it open and he was too riled up to stop now. He was so close. Maybe just one more minute…

It was a sick, nerve-racking game of elevator roulette.

S - Stamina. How many rounds will he last?

He can last maybe two or three rounds when he’s on top. If you want more, you’ll have to take over, climbing on top of him and pressing him into the bed as you pull more out of him.

T - Toys. Does he use them? On you? On himself?

He’s a big fan of vibes. Whether it’s something that goes inside either you or him or something that slides around his cock.

Anything that gives off that extra little buzzy feeling.

He doesn’t like fleshlights. He’d rather be inside you.

U - “Unfair!” How does he feel about teasing? Giving? Receiving?

He’s absolute shit at dishing it out. He gets too flustered to tease you, even when he’s on top.

He’s also the “don’t bully me, I’ll cum” type. Tease him, degrade him (but be kind), call him your little cum puppy (Dalmatian comment reference?) and he will pass away.

V - How vocal is he? What sounds does he make?

Johnathan has a tendency to ramble during love making. One moment he’s drilling you or getting drilled by you, and the next he’s telling you fun facts about whatever comes to mind.

He doesn’t do it on purpose. His brain simply short circuits at some point. He goes with what he knows.

(Why don’t you turn it into a game? See how many facts he can name about a specific subject before he cums…)

In general, he’s very whiny. That coupled with all of the begging creates a perfect symphony.

Exhibit A: “Ohh fuck! Ah, youfeelsssoosogood.. please, (Y/N) please. m’ so close, please. don’t stop dontstopp aaahhn~”

W - Wild card. A miscellaneous headcanon.

As a part of the monster fucker fandom, of course anything that doesn’t have a standard cock has a tentacle one.

Anyways. Portal cock…

Enough said.

X - X Marks the Spot (kms for this joke). His favorite place to be touched.

Anywhere! He just wants you to touch him.

So many people think he’s scary or creepy. When you touch him, all of that goes away.

Y - Yearning. How high is his sex drive?

He’s not insane about it to the point where he constantly craves sex but when he gets in the mood he can be very needy.

Z - ZZZ… how long does it take to fall asleep after the deed is done?

If he’s been thoroughly fucked beyond his limit, he will pass out almost immediately after (after cuddling up beside you and making sure you’re comfortable)

Feel free to ask for different characters to write these for! (but maybe limit it to 4 or 5 letters…)

[inkdemonapologist]

I'm more curious about the personality of your Sammy!

I'm not too deep into the hole Call of Cthulhu thing and i'm still digging around. Besides personality I am curious about Sammy and the lost ones. What his relationship is like with them and such (if they are around. Or in general for Batim/Dark Revival what you think of it)

As far as personality goes, overall, I read Sammy as a counterphobic type 6, and this applies to basically all of my Sammy interpretations, haha. If you’re not an enneagram nerd, this is the “skeptic” type – I see Sammy as an anxious person deep down who wants (but finds it hard to believe in) something or someone he can trust to be stable. Understanding that little conflict is hugely important for making sense of his actions; Sammy subconsciously wants something to trust in so badly that he aggressively mistrusts to protect himself from that one huge vulnerability, one I don’t think he fully knows that he has. I've seen him described as a follower at heart, and that rings true to me; he comes across as cynical and unimpressed as a human, but when he switches to his blindly devout worship of the Ink Demon, it’s not as much of a personality change as you might think.

TIOL is actually a really good example of this. When Joey introduces himself as the head of JDS and tells Sammy and Jack he’d like to hire them, Sammy’s first serious question is the weirdly revealing “how do I know it’s real.” He doesn’t first ask what the job would entail or what kind of work the man’s theoretically looking for; his very first response is to bluntly assume this man they just met might be scamming them. But then as soon as Sammy sees the place, which is little more than a room with a piano in it, he believes Joey’s claim that they’re planning to expand without question, as if he was TRYING to be skeptical but isn't actually that good at it. Joey is mystified by him for most of the tour, but it’s actually apparent in Sammy’s wording that he’s interested and getting invested – which shouldn’t be a surprise. Sammy’s immediate mistrust and assumption that the offer was too good to be true was just as telling as Jack’s sparkle-eyed excitement: he already wanted the job.

Anyway, I see Sammy as someone who’s serious and cynical to protect a vulnerable heart that wants someone he can safely rely on and doesn’t think he’ll get it. He values stability and survival over happiness (better the devil you know than the devil you don’t) and doesn’t like taking big risks, but he’s also not careful; he’s not good at thinking things through or identifying his own feelings, and often acts impulsively towards whatever makes the most immediate sense to him. A lot of his rudeness isn’t intended to be mean – he just doesn’t see the point of social niceties and isn’t interested in worrying about them – but he is ALSO not always thoughtful, projects his stress and frustration onto others, and is not good at looking at things from someone else’s perspective. Sammy can be volatile, and between the ink and the overstimulation he's obviously experiencing on the job, some of that genuinely isn't his fault... but some of it is his own choice to lash out at everyone around him before ever looking within or trying to improve things.

The Lost Ones aren’t a thing in the Cthulhu AU. In Escape AU, none of them survived the escape, and Sammy’s relationship with them was something that kind of haunts him now – they were his flock, and he cared for them, but he knows he wasn’t a good leader. I’ve talked about this before, but I tend to interpret Sammy as someone who exploited his followers’ desperation and loyalty for his own protection; even if he did look after them and was the closest thing to hope and care they had. That’s a big reason why Escape Sam was convinced he should stay separated from Jack for a long time – it’s not just Sammy refusing to believe he deserves love (though it’s that too), it’s also Sammy recognising that he was a cult leader who destroyed Jack and then took advantage of his confusion and loyalty.

I don’t know if this answers your question but uh, THERES SOME OF MY THOUGHTS

[scarlethallow160]

why tf do one bedroom apartments have to be so expensive (this is a huge vent dump pls avert your gazes)

my roommate keeps inviting people to our apartment without fucking telling me (or waiting til the LAST possible second to do so) even tho i’ve said time and time again i hate when people do that especially cuz he has a bad habit of doing that when we have plans where he just invites other people (esp people i barely know or dont know at all) without telling me or anyone else that was already involved. its even more aggravating cuz when this is brought up he acts like he makes sure to avoid this and he fucking doesnt like when i lived with an old friend and an ex-friend, him and our other friend invited someone to our place (so they invited a stranger to a place they did not live at) and none of them fucking told me until i was literally about to walk inside after work and like am i crazy or do people not see how rude that is?? like dawg thats my fucking home U GOTTA TELL ME WHEN PEOPLE THAT DO NOT LIVE THERE ARE GOING TO BE THERE

and if ur going to force me to interact with strangers have the decency to introduce us???? once we went to meet with some friends (not rly but i’d met them before) and ig one of their sisters was there and they just. didnt introduce us to each other? and we were on opposite ends of the table so its not like we could really interact either? and they did this when we got invited to another friends bday thing where someone i’d never been introduced to was there and they didnt fuckin introduce us and i was anxious cuz i was sitting across from her and finally had to be like “oh hi are u x? i’m so-and-so” like jesus christ is this not common sense for people? why are yall okay with forcing complete strangers to hangout

and with work today i was so overstimulated and got more and more aggravated by this cuz like i dont want to have to move every year and one bedrooms are so expensive rn but im so fucking tired of going thru this. not to mention we dont have a ceiling fan in our living room so he turns down the ac rly low when people are over so it jacks up our ac bill so it makes me even More anxious cuz him inviting people over = social anxiety for me and general anxiousness knowing our bill is going to be higher

i was so aggravated by this i ended up skipping out on plans we had today cuz my roommate also talks about himself. a lot. and we were out with friends like yesterday night or smthing and he kept going on and on about some guys he’s talking to on a dating app and i knew that would just make me angrier and idk it kinda sucked that one of my other friends involved thought i felt i was rly close with didnt seem to gaf either that i abruptly dropped out and theres obviously something wrong with me mental health-wise cuz i have this really bizarre self-sabotaging tendency when my mood severely dips where i convince myself no one cares or everyone hates me and think of this dark scenarios and just kind of start spiraling

and with my anger issues i go thru this weird loop of understanding a lot of my emotional/temperamental and communication issues stems from my fucked up family cuz my mom is super vain/self-absorbed and never thinks she can be wrong and basically my sisters are the same so i keep things bottled up and end up getting REALLY angry with no healthy outlet until i reach a breaking point and im just not great with communicating how i rly feel either cuz talking to my family was like talking to a brick wall and my older sister would literally cut me off constantly telling me to shut up so i rarely communicate things beyond like....joking around and stuff so i tend to vent/trauma dump into the void on social media lmfao which is obviously not healthy at all either but like......yeah it also sucks when i start spiraling and thinking back on this shit that i’ll never get closure from the longterm issues i developed from my family cuz now they want to act like we’re this tight-knit super close family that always got along and even if i were to ever bring this shit up they’d just point fingers or deny doing anything wrong.

 idk like its nice having a group of friends i can hangout with and stuff irl but also i feel like i cant ever really talk to them about anything like this that im going thru cuz i also feel super uncomfortable thinking i might be making things about myself (and honestly i do hate when people trauma-dump on me completely out of nowhere so i also want to avoid doing that)

also whats stopping me about addressing these issues with my roommate is cuz he has a tendency to victimize himself and thinking hes just being attacked? like he’s also super self-deprecating All the time which is also extremely exhausting to deal with constantly and it pisses me off that with our other friend/my old roommate, my current roommate kisses his ass and listened to him when he told him these issues of him being too self-deprecating etc. but ik if anyone else did he would just feel sorry for himself

im tired of this

[princess-fuckrosa]

Hi. I hope you don't hate sk8 adam. If you one of the unique and awesome people whole love/like Adam can you perhaps wrote a SMUT of him? I'm sad that i can't find and SMUT about him cause everyone hating on him. You can write anything tho i don't have any particular request.

Thank you and sorry for the bad English. English is not my first language

Ahw, don't worry Anon, this blog is a safe place for loving on anyone!

And well, let's be completely honest, everyone who hates on this moron, is actually right about it, the latest episode left me a 3 minute complete silence as I tried to recover from what he did to our dear Cherry.......

But, to be fair, I have a soft spot for all the motherfuckers like Adam, so all of you who love the Matador of Love, don't be afraid to send in your requests, I adore him too! 💖

And don't worry about your English anon, it's perfectly fine! Send me a request anytime I'm open! ❤

*EDIT: Yesterday I forgot to include some stuff, so I added them~

HEAVY smut under the cut, general TW for the innocent vanillas~

Ainosuke Shindo (Adam) SMUT headcanons

We already have some clues about how the Matador of Love would be like in a relationship, and let me tell you, and I don't think it's a surprise but...

It's not nice. At all.

or it depends on what you call nice I think haha

Ainosuke definitely has a big turn on for tears and fear.

He's a sadist, and I don't think he would be completely against being on the other end of the line, but he would be the top dom most of the time.

He's into both physical and mental abuse, but before we completely bookmark him under the 'heartless psycho' category, he won't do anything non-consensual.

I imagine he would search for his 'Eve' in this way too, and if someone wouldn't willingly submit to him, they are just not the right ones.

So unless you let him do whatever he wants, he wouldn't take you seriously. He might have a one night stand, as he does sometimes, but to be his Eve, that's not enough.

He would expect you to be 100% submissive towards him, but only in the bedroom, and not on the casual side. He would love the contrast between the two: you being bold and confident during the day, but a sobbing, needy mess at night - perfect.

Master/Pet play is a big kink for him.

At first, he would give you a taste - he wouldn't be half as rough as he usually is, but would make you cry during the act, just to show off his style a little

"Do you still want to be my pet?", he asked, his index finger lifting up your head to make your teary eyes meet his seemingly empty, red ones. If you managed to whimper out a yes, his fingers would brush your lips as he leans a little closer. "I'm gonna abuse you, y/n."

You saying yes to him again would make his blood boil in excitement again.

He would absolutely cherish the idea of having a s/o as a pet, someone who would adore and worship him, and he could play with them as much as he would like to. Wouldn't go as far as caging (well, if you really insist, he wouldn't be against it either), but would give you a collar with "Adam" written on the tag.

Ainosuke is the kind that would be gentle and caressing at the start, and as the play session goes he would get more rough and vicious.

He does a lot of foreplay. It's mostly anything that implies that he is in control, and usually it starts rather innocently.

He walks over to you, caressing your cheeks with a brief smile, giving you soft kisses on your neck, hands traveling on your body with gentle touches...

...only until you get completely relaxed. He would lean back a little, his fingers tracing your lips, and for the first time in the last few minutes, he would smile at you.

And the fun begins.

You quickly learn that specific smile, the innocent, kind one that only appears on his lips when he came up with something truly dirty and terrific.

Would totally manhandle and take advantage of you. Grabbing you by the hair or your collar to get you to the bedroom, but sometimes when he feels like it, he could be able to just pick you up in bridal style and carry you to his bed - which is gigantic, by the way.

With Ainosuke, expect a lot of messy blowjobs. He would let you start and show your appreciation for the first few minutes. But after that, he would cup your cheeks, tug into your hair and face fuck you with vigorous speed. Plus points if you wear any makeup, he would ruin it, and almost get off only on the sight of seeing you crying off your eyeshadow. It would be hard to stop him after he starts, and wouldn't really care about your discomfort, the only thing he would avoid is making you vomit, he doesn't like that

He would call you the dirtiest, filthiest names ever, but would praise you and call you sweet, loving names just as much, especially during said face fucks.  

He is not THAT into bondage, Ainosuke prefers using his hand and body only to get you under full control, but if he is in the right mood, he would totally tie you up and abuse the hell out of you.

Doesn't matter if you are a female or a male, he would absolutely torture your nipples. Flicking them roughly, pinching them, tugging on them so hard that your back arches, slapping and biting them.

Getting to the main act with Ainosuke takes a long time, he would make sure to make you come one way or another, at least once.

Sometimes, when he is in a more affectionate mood, or you earned a reward, he would overstimulate you until you're so dizzy and disoriented that you don't even remember your own name, because you screamed his name so many times during your climaxes. He would leave you no rest, once you get your first one, he wouldn't stop, aiming for the next one, and the next one, and the next one...

Finally, when he gets between your legs with his crotch, you're so wet or lubricated that it wouldn't be much of a struggle to slam into you without a warning.

Through the whole foreplay, he is just so aloof and cold, or somewhat loving yet collected, but now that he is in you - he would completely switch into an animalistic, rough beast. Grabbing and bending you, completely getting lost in your moans, whimpers, and screams.

Would enjoy a lot of poses, his favorites are mating press, spreader, v, all variations of doggy, and basically everything where he is in full control over you.

But when he gets close, he would prefer to switch into missionary, leaving no space between your bodies, looking into your eyes as he reaches his high.

Depending on his mood, he would be either very affectionate with aftercare, or just completely ignorant of it, leaving you in the room alone as he goes to clean up himself and return to his day.

If there's no risk of knocking you up, he would usually release his seed into you, as a way of marking you as his, but would love to just cum anywhere on your body for the same reason.

That being said, he is not an abusing asshole all the time. From time to time, he would be more gentle, focusing more on holding your body like it was the most precious thing in the world, keeping it close to him, shower it with kisses, lovebites, and loving gropes.

He would sense your mood often, and if you feel down for some reason, he would cuddle you, placing you into his lap and wrapping his arm around you, and he would offer you some distraction from your problems. If you accept it, he would pay attention to your needs. Sure, if you just want his usual self, he will order you around and give you a rough treatment.

But if you need lovemaking, how would the Matador of Love turn you down? It's just something he won't really go for on a regular basis, so savor these moments every time, but don't be afraid to mention it when you need it, he's bossy and narcissistic but up for negotiations.

The latter is rather rare, he would usually just cuddle up with your messy, hot body for a few minutes before helping with the cleaning up.

Either way, sex is hardly ever predictable with him, he would be able to surprise you every time even after a long, long time of being together.

[akirakurusuimagines]

ABCs with Akira Kurusu

From now on, I’ll be tagging not sfw content as “merciless mode”, so please blacklist it if you don’t want to see it!

A = Aftercare 

The aftercare king. He’s so sweet and considerate regardless of the type of session you two had. He’ll be carrying you around, helping you clean up and showering you in gentle kisses and praise, making sure you drink water, cuddling you until you sleep while whispering sweet nothings into your ear, anything that makes you feel good, he’ll do it. Chances are, he’ll bring you food in bed tomorrow, too. If you manage to wear him out, make sure you spoil him a little too⁠—he needs it. 

B = Body part 

Akira’s favorite body part (on himself) is his hips. I mean, have you seen them? He’s got a nice ass and really nice hips and if you pay attention to those parts of his body he will fucking melt, guaranteed. On you, though, it’s hard for him to choose. He’s stuck between your thighs and your hands, loving the sensuality of both very deeply. He’ll pay a lot of attention to your thighs, kissing them, making a few nice marks, even bite them if you’re into it. Akira also loves to squeeze and hold them, just feeling them whether they’re wrapped around his waist or he’s laying down on them. For your hands, however, he also loves to kiss them, though sometimes he’ll playfully suck on your fingers, teasing you that way. He loves to hold your hands and squeeze them while you two are intimate in any way.

C = Cum 

If you used your mouth on him, he would probably end up accidentally cumming in your mouth once or twice, but when he can catch himself, will finish on your face or chest, or even himself, depending on the situation. Your mouth really just does things to him. Most often, though, Akira cums in a condom, but if not, he prefers to cum on your thighs and/or tummy, enjoying the way it coats your skin, also paralleling the way you likely make a mess on him.  If you ask him to cum inside you, however, he’ll be a little reluctant at first, but when convinced, gets shockingly addicted to the feeling, especially if you cockwarm him afterwards until he gets hard again.

D = Dirty Secret

Akira needed porn to get him off for the longest time, whether he read it, watched it, listened to it, whatever. He just needed something to keep his senses busy while he groped and fisted his dick. But that really started to change when he fell in love with you. He found himself unable to satisfy his lust the same way as he usually did, and anytime he closed his eyes while he pumped his cock, he could only picture you. The way you would writhe underneath him, the way you would feel around him, your sounds, your expressions⁠—when he finally let himself imagine everything he wanted to do with you, he ended up accidentally overstimulating himself, overwhelmed by the sheer desire he had. He couldn’t look at you for a week afterwards, getting too flustered by the memory of cumming all over himself because he thought of you. 

E = Experience 

He’s actually not that experienced, like at all. He’s young⁠; outside of being with you, the most experience he’s gotten is from his imagination, porn, and masturbating, really. He’s faking it until he makes it, and oftentimes, that works well enough. Akira’s a very quick learner, too, so even if he’s sloppy or a little inconsiderate the first time around, just guide him along a bit and he’ll pick up on things⁠—communication is key, here. Slowly but surely, he’ll become more confident in what he’s doing and become that sex god everyone wants him to be. When he gets older and more experienced, he’s sure to blow your mind every single time, even if it’s just making you cum from his fingers. 

F = Favorite Position

Akira’s favorite position to fuck you in is something that you’re on his lap for, or facing him in general. He loves to see your expressions and hear your voice, and wants to kiss you as much as he can, regardless of whether he’s drilling you into the mattress with every thrust, or he’s taking things slowly. His favorite position to be fucked in is from behind, where his chest is on the ground and his ass is in the air. 

G = Goofy

He can be both! Depending on the context (whether it’s Akira or whether it’s Joker), whether you two are in the middle of roleplay, whether the current mood is one way or another, whether you’re in a semi-public place or in Leblanc well after it closed, there are so many factors, but there’s always a healthy mix of both. The first time you two got intimate, there were a lot of laughs, though mostly nervous ones until your nerves settled down. 

H = Hair 

Akira’s got a little bit more of a bush down there, matching his hair almost too well. He makes sure that it’s nothing crazy and that he cleans himself regularly, but it’s not trimmed short or shaved. He doesn’t have a preference regarding whether you shave or trim or let it grow wild, but if you do have a bit of pubic hair, he might grip onto it while his face is shoved onto your sex, using his tongue to drive you crazy. 

I = Intimacy

He’s so intimate and romantic, kissing you with every other breath he takes, regardless of the situation, whether he’s a little rough or it’s something soft and sensual, he’s always holding you somehow or kissing your skin. He always mutters praises and gentle “I love you”s even during roleplay or “punishment”, it’s not something he can physically ignore. 

J = Jack Off 

Akira would get so sexually frustrated so frequently because he was never alone long enough to actually take care of himself, and if Morgana or Sojiro or anyone ever caught him getting himself off, he would probably turn himself in immediately to avoid facing them. When he does get the chance to get himself off, it takes a little while for him to get into the right sort of mood with how stressed and busy he normally is, but he ends up exerting himself a little too much and is totally winded afterwards. He’s left alone with his horny thoughts but can only act on them once a week if he’s lucky.

K = Kink

He loves having his hair tugged. It’s one of his biggest weaknesses, and something that will make him moan the loudest. Tug his hair at every opportunity: when he’s going down on you, when he’s fucking you, when you’re fucking him, when he’s kissing you, anything. Tug his hair, whether you do it softly, or whether it’s a sharp yank. It’ll spur him on or make him dazed, perhaps both. Be careful, though, you might unleash a beast when you do. 

L = Location

He’s split between the comfort of his own room, and the safe rooms in the Metaverse. His room is comfortable with a gentle ambiance, and has a lot of potential for any kind of intimate play. However, the safe rooms in the Metaverse give just enough of a rush of getting caught, the danger of being caught by his teammates and shadows alike makes his head spin.

M = Motivation 

There’s a lot that turns him on. Something that spurs him on very quickly is when you subtly tease him, especially if there are a lot of people around. Whether by squeezing his hip or sending one too many flirtatious looks, or whispering something indecent to him before acting like nothing happened, or eating food sensually⁠—there is a lot. His hormones are on a complete and utter rampage underneath that calm demeanor. He can’t help it.  

N = NO

Things he wouldn’t do fall under the extremes and bodily fluids, so things like watersports or intense BDSM. He also would never smack his partner across the face, and would not want them to do the same to him. 

O = Oral 

Akira loves to give, and that quickly makes up for his lack of immediate skill. He’s intuitive to your reactions and changes things based on how you react and the limited knowledge he’s gained from porn and sex-tips from magazines, so he finds that his favorite place quickly becomes between your legs, using his tongue to make you cum. Sometimes that’s all you do, and it’s intense and mind-blowing and your legs end up as jelly from the amount of times he pushed you over the edge. He does deeply enjoy receiving, but it’s something you have to beat him to when you get the chance, or he’ll latch onto you like a vice.   

P = Pace

It all depends on the mood, it really does. He does have a slight preference for slow and sensual sex, at least to begin, and if it delves into something fast and desperate and unintentionally rough, well, that’s all the more exciting, isn’t it? 

Q = Quickie 

When he’s strained on time somehow, which is more often than not, he is more than down for a quick round. He prefers being able to take his time, but he has to admit, the moments where you two are clawing at each other’s clothes and kissing so hard you’re knocking teeth together as you stumble into a closet or flop onto the makeshift bed, barely removing any clothes as you desperately plead for him to fuck you, are really wonderful too. 

R = Risk 

Akira is down to experiment for the most part, but a lot of communication needs to be involved depending on what it is you two decide to do. Taking risks is on a case-by-case basis, depending on whether or not the risk is worth it. He plays it safe at school, knowing being expelled from the academy is essentially a death sentence, but in the Metaverse, he’s far more likely to take that risk. 

S = Stamina 

At first, he’s wiped out very quickly. He tries to last as long as he can, and he succeeds for the most part, but after he cums, he needs a bit of a break before he can go again. But, like with anything, he builds that stamina up. At the peak of his game, Akira could probably last a long while⁠—long enough to make you cum at least twice⁠—and can go a few rounds, depending on the intensity of the previous session.  

T = Toy

Akira doesn’t own any toys. Morgana is far too much of a snoop, people are in his attic all the time, so he doesn’t feel comfortable having them. He would absolutely be down to use them, though, on both himself and his partner, regardless of what it is. It adds an extra layer to the bedroom that, though he thinks you don’t need, doesn’t hurt and only improves the experience. 

U = Unfair 

Akira and teasing go hand in hand. He just adores getting you riled up and flustered, whether it’s from sweet words that take you by surprise or dirty talk that sends shivers down your spine⁠—anything is fair game if it means getting one of those incredible reactions from you. He likes to tease in the bedroom especially, sometimes playfully and softly, others, more roughly, but if you plead for him to stop teasing you, he might just have to comply. 

V = Volume 

Akira actually isn’t that loud in bed. He’s rather quiet, actually, more pants than anything, followed by grunts and slight choking noises, small whines and finally genuine moans. He sometimes makes a conscious effort to be less noisy, so if you really want him to not muffle any of his god-like sounds, you could always put him in a ball gag or pry his mouth open with your fingers. But normally, his mouth is used to praise you or demean you, to tease you and torture you, driving you wild with how his voice can go from being so light and gentle to sending bolts of lightning to your nerves with how deep and sexy it is. 

W = Wild Card 

He has a high-key roleplay kink, especially when it involves his Joker side, whether it be a cops-and-robbers sort of deal, or whether it’s something of a thief stealing away a royal in the night. Akira won’t mention it to you for the longest time, but come to his bedroom wearing a skimpy costume and start pulling on those acting skills as you seduce him and he’ll fall right into your trap.  

X = X-Ray 

Akira’s slightly above average overall, not as girthy as someone like Ryuji and not as lengthy as someone like Yusuke, but well rounded enough that you can’t complain. Especially when you get to explore his dick and find the prominent veins that made him practically keel over, and realize the slight curve it has. It’s a very pretty dick, though. 

Y = Yearning

His sex drive is quite high most of the time, all things considered, but during moments of great distress, such as the deadline for a palace closing in on him, his sex drive will plummet from the stress. 

Z = ZZZ 

He doesn’t really fall asleep all that quickly, he’s more content whispering sweet things in your ears and kissing your face and telling you how much he loves you and how fantastic you were as you two cuddle, but if he was on the receiving end, he’s far more likely to doze off unintentionally during it. 

[panicinart]

🔞 Nsfw alphabet 🔞

☎️ OG Billy Lenz ☎️

It's time for some Chaotic Rat Gremlin

Also side note I'm at the moment reader the novel and ngl I changed a few things since it didn't fit his character very well. I'm not that far with it but I hope I did a good job with interpreting his character :)

A = Aftercare (what are they like after sex?)

☎️You know that feeling were you're really tired but got some extra suppressed energy, so you just kinda stand there in hell? That's him.

☎️Billy doesn't know if he should run around naked and do his usual rat gremlin stuff or fall asleep so hard like someone drugged him with something.

☎️Either way it's going to be a ride, because you're gonna need to catch a naked rat man running around before the sorority sisters come, or your whole bed is drenched in drool.

B = Body part (how is their body build? any favorite body part of them and their partner?)

☎️A fucking twunk, he probably was more of a twink before he met you because bitch only got small amounts of food and not that many opportunitys to build up muscles.

☎️Billy has a bit of a biceps, back muscle, and leg muscle but that's really it. He also doesn't have a lot of hair mostly a bit on his chest, crotch area and a small hair trail that bairly connects those points. If he goes all out he is also able to grow a bit arm and leg hair.

☎️Honestly I feel like this gremlin is proud of the little chest hair he has, so he really likes that area. He sometimes squeezes his man milkers and you cannot change my mind on that.

☎️Billy LOVES his s/o's thighs and chest! Big, small, doesn't matter their great (especially the thighs, their a gate way to something great).

☎️With the chest it is more of a thing that he thinks is funny, his grabby hands sometimes poke, squeeze and lightly slap them.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum)

☎️Doesn't produce a lot of cum, but it is STICKY. The cum is very white, and kinda like chewing gum. It comes in spurts and god help him this man can shoot a load meters away, he shoot his load more then he can count into his eye, and also yours.

☎️He also produces A LOT of precum

☎️It doesn't have a lot of taste, maeby a bit on the sour / bitter side???

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, do they have a dirty secret?)

☎️Billy has some kinks (???) that aren't really good for him, for example he would beg to be humiliated but after the act he will be a sobbing mess, be angry or thinks all the things his partner told him are true. Basically self destructive tendencies that he let's out with sex in an unhealthy way.

E = Experience (do they know what they're doing?)

☎️Surprisingly he kinda knows what he does, were did he got that info?? Who knows, Billy certainly can't remember, (probably watched some people geting it on or stole a porn magazine).

F = Favorite position (which position(s) do the like the most?)

☎️All positions are great positions as one confused and wise attic gremlin sayd.

☎️But in all honesty it depends on his mood so here are his top 5 in no particular order:

Kepper

Stick figure

Grasshopper

Counterblow

Valedictorian

G = Goofy (are they more serious or do the like to clown around?)

☎️This man has a hard time staying serious, there are rare moments were he stays focused while being on the mission to go to pound town. Most of the time you hear him giggle, snorting and sometimes saying random one liners that he pulls out of his ass that don't make sense to you, but he still laughs like he heard the funniest shit in the world.

H = Hair (any hair down there? How do they groom it?)

☎️The hair is quite thin and a bit curly, it's a good amount of hair but not a forest, because Billy doesn't take care of it the hair it is all over the place and can look a bit overwhelming.

☎️Billy doesn't really groom it and since it's the 70s, he also doesn't shave it

I = Intimacy (how are they during sex in a romantic aspect?)

☎️He is generally not the romantic type so don't hope for rose pedals and lit candles.

☎️When he is in a more lucid state he will give your face small and sweet kisses while he giggles happily with a manic undertone.

J = Jack off / Jill off (how do they masturbate and how often?)

☎️Before he met you? Probably almost daily. The pumps are fast and eager without a rythm and really messy.

K = Kink (any kinks?)

☎️There is almost nothing he wouldn't try at least once, Billy is an adventurous and curious guy, so I keep it down to a hand full.

☎️Dirty talk, it's either messy game with words that he repeats like a broken record or really fucking good, not in a poetic way but the filth that comes from his mouth is GOOD. But he often does it when he is more unstable, be a bit more careful around him especially if the words become messier and messier.

☎️Breeding, not in a way of wanting children, god no don't let this man near kids, he is scared of them and they are scared of him, but more in a way of wanting to see you stuffed with his cum. He may not produce a lot but he got the Stamina for that, the only question that lays in the room is, if you can keep up with him.

☎️ We all know that he is really into voyeurism, it doesn't even need to be sexual he just likes watching you. If you give him a small show he will vibrated with anticipation and pounce on you immediately.

☎️Phone sex, do I need to say anything more?? It's thrilling for him and sometimes it gets paired up with a bit of roleplay (unintentionally most of the time) , the whole act is also a great way to tease him. Just don't do it too much, he can take a bit but it's a fine line of a horny Billy and an angry Billy.

☎️There is still so much more but god dammit I will be here forever.

Edging, overstimulation, Pegging, Thigh jobs, geting his hair pulled, praise and many more!

L = Location (were do they like to have sex?)

☎️The thought of fucking you everywhere is really alluring but he mostly does it in the bed and attic. He doesn't want to risk getting caught and honestly the thought alone that people could be near gives him anxiety.

M = Motivation (what turns them on/gets them going?)

☎️Everything, you could just walk around and he could pop a boner. The guy is just really unpredictable and his moods can swing erratically which influences his horniness a lot.

☎️But if we assume he is in a more stable mindset where is squirrel brain isn't high on sugar here are a few things that always work;

Soft and sensual touches on arms and thighs

Teasing/slight tickling with fingers on the back of his neck to the end of his spine

Showing a bit more skin the usually and having direct eye contact that lingers a bit longer then the norm

Any close contact to his crotch area, the man will jump on you like a dog

N= No (what's a turn off/they don't want to do?)

☎️Getting too violent, it's more of a safety thing for your own health. He can quickly slip in a dangerous mindset, ESPECIALLY at the beginning of the relationship and I doubt you like to be the moaner's next murderer victim.

☎️Billy can't stand brats in bed it irritates him, or just any kind of attitude.

☎️He also doesn't like it if his s/o dirty talks back, when he does it it often doesn't register in his mind, so if his lovely partner does it, it kind of disgust and displeases him greatly.

O = Oral (do they like to give or receive? How is their skill? How do they react during receiving?)

☎️He LOVES to give oral, Billy could die between your legs and honestly, that's the way he wants to go. He also wouldn't say no to a blowjob and would get ecstatic with the offer (if he didn't ask demanded first).

☎️But sadly Billy isn't that skillful, he makes a lot of sloppy noises and purposely makes a mess, spit, your juices and possibly his cum will be splattered across your whole crotch area and thighs.

☎️He does well alright tho, it isn't anything special but the way he has his grabby boney fingers grab at your body restlessly and his tongue tasting every corner makes it up for any lack of knowledge he has. His tounge is also really long.

☎️You think he stays still when you go down on him?? Oooooh no, god you might have to tie his hands up. They would grab anything they can get, cushion, objects your hair ect, and the guy will pull and squeeze it like his live depends on it.

☎️He also will buck his hips into you and straight up face fucks you, ya need a lot of strength in your arms and hands if you want Billy to stay still. Also the noise he makes? For some it can be really hot but for other a huge turn of, he chokes on his own spit and the moans can sound really animalistic and loud. Either gag him or let everyone know you get hot and heavy with him. That is if anyone is in the house.

P = Pace (how is their thrusting? Hard, fast, deep ect)

☎️He goes FAST, like a bunny in heat, so you better be prepared to have some bruising from his violent thrusting.

☎️The thrust are also relatively hard but 0 rythm.

☎️ His dick also sometimes just slips out, it happened a few times that he also completely missed the targed and rams his dick full speed to your ass (and continues like a champ).

☎️And if your afab he probably "accidentally" buries his junk in the wrong whole.

Q = Quickie (do they like Quickies, if yes how often?)

☎️Yes god he loves them, he often uses them to get rid of extra energy or pent up emotions and there is A LOT , (just be a bit careful with the emotions, maeby talk it out (if you manage to have a reasonable conversation with this rat of a man) what he feels and why he wants to do it, safe words is also a good idea).

R = Risk (any risk their willing to do?)

☎️Fucking you in a room while the sorority sisters are right next to it, he would be so drowned in the bliss that he forgetshis anxiety, but if you are able to comfort him afterwards do it. He often slips into a bad and sometimesaggressivemanic state untreated. (Again,it's a mess if you don't want to get caught, gag the man).

S = Stamina (how long can they go? How long do they last?)

☎️Bitch can go all night, no joke he recovers fast and his hunger for you has no end. He may take small breaks in between the rough fucking, but I'm gonna tell ya his grip on you is like steel he won't let go of you.

T = Toys (any toys they like? If yes, what toys do they like on themselves and on their partner?)

☎️He think's their funny and definitely will mess around with them. Use as many as your kinky heart desires he will follow lead.

☎️On him? Great he waits eagerly on the bed almost jumping from the spot because he is so excited. He loves vibrators and nipple clamps, but collars are good too!

☎️On you? Lord have mercy on your poor soul because you didn't know what's coming for you. Honey you got a big storm coming. But please teach him how to use them and what feels good and what not or else he will stab your insides with a dildo.

U = Unfair (are they a tease? How do they react if teased?)

☎️Billy goes always straight to the point, but sometimes he teases which often happens without his intentions.

☎️The whole thing gets even worse when he goes down on you. This man has bairly any cohesive thoughts what makes you think that he can concentrate for a solid minute. While he is doing it his mind is already somewhere else, which makes him stop for a few seconds or slow down, or not giving the right spots the attention they need. So your agonizingly lay between the almost orgasmic feeling and under stimulation.

V = Volume (how loud are they? What sounds do they make?)

☎️Not necessarily LOUD but people will know what's going on (if you go down on him it's a whole other thing).

☎️The noises he normally makes is strangled / chocked up moans, groaning, giggling or straight up laughing and some mumbling that you for the most part don't fully hear.

W = Wild card (random nsfw headcanon(s))

☎️Billy has a thing for submissive and innocent people, it is more fun to see them react to his vulgar and partly extreme behavior. The way the Yelp when he gives them a rough handling or spurts out the most filthiest thing makes his blood boil. It just something of corrupting someone innocent, sweet and well mannered to something that can only be described as a human mess is making him more feral then he already is. Bonus points if they are covered in his cum and drool.

☎️If somehow you both manage to a a healthy relationship this man will go down your pants faster then the speed of light. And Billy gets quite upset if you say no to him.

☎️Likes to suprise his s/o with him wanking it in front of you in the worst time you can imagine. Ho? Your bringing in the groceries and are in a hurry because the ice cream will melt? Suprises Billy blocks the doorway and rubs his dick violently while having direct eye contact. If you manage to walk past him he will follow you around trying to put your hands on his dick, or even try's to get a blowjob out of you. If not well then his hand and your thighs or ass will do the job too!

☎️Loves to bite and suck on your neck it's also something that gets him going like nothing else, nobody know why but it does.

X = X-ray (what's going on under those clothes?)

☎️Not exactly fat, but he got something packing, around 6.5 inches in length and 5.3 inches in girth. The man is cut and got some thin veins here and there.

Y = Yearning (how high is their libido?)

☎️High, just say your into the mood from another room while having a mouth full of stuff and the man will go crashing down the attic before you finish your sentence even tho it was bairly understandable on what you sayd.

Z = Zzz (how quickly do they fall asleep?)

☎️It's always different one time he is knockout in a few seconds the other night he was awake for another 4 hours, it just depends on how much gymnastics you both needed to make and how bad his manic episode is.

[prof-peach]

I...gotta ask but are you well versed in variants in both alolan and kantoian vulpix evolution line? It's a childhood dream to adopt one, maybe an older one who wouldn't mind some lazy days, but I'd like to see which variant might fit my life style best. Thank you professor! Stay safe in 2020😓

I’ve seen hybrids of the two, hybrids being children of two different species, but only the ice and fire variants, they aren’t a Pokemon I focus on in all honesty. I handle just a few fire types for my garden work, and the odd battle, and ice types are my second worst subject behind electric Pokemon, I am only qualified to perform routine checkups and minor first aid on them.

I do however live with a kantonian vulpix, and can at least speak from a little experience.

First and foremost, I will utter this as my dying words if I must, it’s the most important thing: Their personality needs to get on with yours, that’s the one truth to all of your choices on which to go for.

If you’re tied between the two, go out, interact with both, contact local groups who have some around, go to shelters and adoption agencies, from the sounds of it it’s not a choice you’re making because you want a strategic battle team, so forget their typing, just for now. Both can be catered for in a relatively small home, with the right items and care.

One thing I would consider, what do you enjoy the most, the heat of summer, or the fresh cold of winter? Because that’s what it’s like to live with these Pokemon. They can of course control their temperature to a degree, making their effects on the home a lot less obvious, but if you know you struggle with the heat, perhaps the alolan type is better, or vice versa. At least with the fire type you save on heating in the winter. But I suppose if you hate the summer heat, an ice type might just make it all the more bearable. These Pokemon will affect ambient temperature by a minimum of 5-10 degrees when in control (if they get sick or have gland issues, or other medical conditions, it could be much more, to an unbearable point). Mines the fire type, 20+ years old, and I don’t need to ever turn on the central heating because of her, though due to the age she is actually able to act like a thermostat and raise or lower the heat down to 2-3 degrees off of the actual ambient temperature. I have heard this is all equally true for the alolan vulpix, same principals.

Both are strong, both can be trained with precision should they need to be, the kantonian species has ties to psychic types, despite not being classed as one, but the alolan vulpix is closer to fairy typing, even if they don’t evolve. I suppose as a ninetails they get the dual type, but still, it’s information you need to have and collect. Psychic types are more susceptible to nervous dispositions. They can to a degree hear and see things other species cannot, they have a type of overlap interference of other people’s thoughts, pokemons feelings, sounds can seem too loud to them, feelings can be too intense, and generally they can have a tendency to become overstimulated faster than their alolan counterpart. This can be controlled, and doesn’t affect them all the same, some deal we’ll with it, others do not. As for the alolan ones, their fairy typing means they will feel things harder, if they’re sad it’ll be SUPER sad, if they’re happy, everyone in the area will feel that energy. They have a lot of sensitivity to people’s auras or energies, something I know little to nothing about, just don’t deal with them much in day to day work, but they will join in with the rooms atmosphere. If you’re quite a downhearted person, it can bleed into them a bit, and they may become sad too. This is not alwasy the case, some are strong willed and will instead help any low energy people with their upbeat nature.

That you would consider adopting an older Pokemon is a kind choice, a lot of vulpix turn up in bad shape and need a good forever home. They can carry a bit of stigma, people think they’re closely linked to the spirits and can become afraid or nervous around them. At night both can give of an eerie low light, usually caused by them having too much stored energy. Should this come about, just go out and do some more exercise together, battle, run, dance, whatever, they just gotta get that power out, or they can become quite snappy and agitated. If left it can lead to further behavioural issues, so best to just give them the exercise they need from the get go. It’ll be a personlity thing, some love to be spoilt, adored, brushed, cared for, others...not so much. Mine is particularly fussy, not wanting to be held, only doing things she wants, generally a very sassy lady, and I’ve known others like her before, both alolan and kantonian. With eggs you never know what you’ll get, so I’d advise against hatching one. They can come out any which way, and you sound like you need a specific personality around you.

Get to know the Pokemon for who it is, not what it is, the typing doesn’t sound like it matters to you all that much. Patience is key, young or old, whatever is chosen, take your time to find the right fit. If anything you’ll find they’ll come to you if they deem you a good match. They got that freaky 6th sense that just knows.

I went off a bit, but hope this helps you make some rough choice for now.

[z00r0p4]

Do you have any episode ideas where they could bring up Eugene possibly being on the spectrum?

I’d go with same general idea I had for Cate’s story. But it doesn’t have to be Cate, per se.

Besides, I’m getting the jist that Eugene and Katrina will foster or adopt another child besides Buck. That’s what they’ve hinted at. So, while it pains me to leave Cate out of the equation, here’s the concept:

Eugene and Katrina look into fostering/adopting another child and eventually find a candidate. The kid is probably much younger than Buck. Maybe 5 or 6. Social services (or whatever) had warned that it was a tough case, but Eugene and Katrina (Katrina especially) felt compelled/called to help this kid in particular.

So they bring the kid home, and things go surprisingly well for a little while. The kid’s got some quirks, of course, but nothing Eugene and Katrina don’t know how to handle. They’re especially tickled at how precocious the child is in the language department (who does that remind you of?). Ofc, it’s not entirely smooth sailing from the get-go, either, as it’s clear that this kid has a lot of trust and abandonment issues going on. And while the kid is clearly very intelligent, there are a host of developmental delays elsewhere. More or less, however, that was to be expected. E & K had done research into it well before they agreed to take on fostering the kid.

So then the kid inevitably has some sort of meltdown. I’m not saying it has to be on the same level as the classical, extremely clichéd “autistic meltdown”, but it’s definitely a meltdown of sorts. Maybe it’s the way something feels, or they become overstimulated in a certain environment and completely shut down. Either way, it’s kind of a big deal— at least, it is for Katrina. Eugene is... oddly unfazed by the whole ordeal, and basically reassures Katrina by saying this was what they signed up for. And he’s not wrong, of course. There’s no doubt about that in Katrina’s mind, but the situation left her searching for some sort of answer.

So, naturally, she goes back to her research. She was well aware of the typical abandonment and attachment disorders often found in children growing up in foster care or neglectful households, etc, but this... felt different. After having the kid stay with them for however many months at that point, there were a variety of things that simply could not be chalked up to an abandonment or attachment disorder. Some of those things would probably include a seemingly ever-increasing amount of physical sensory issues/overstimulation, repetitive self-soothing behaviors (and repetitive behavior in general), and a need for rigid routine (signaling some mental inflexibility).

Katrina’s a teacher at this point (right?), so she’s no dummy. She knows what autism is; she’s probably had autistic students in some of her classes, but even so, so she doesn’t begin to connect the dots until she stumbles across something comparing some of the symptoms of reactive attachment disorder to common traits of autism. So she diverts some of her research into that area, and starts to observe the kid according to those diagnostics. Things start to make sense then.

But something else also becomes apparent.

As she’s making all of these observations and mental notes, she’s referring to Eugene, naturally. “Doesn’t that seem a little odd?” She says to him, after pointing out one of the kid’s repetitive motions or behaviors. He chuckles and responds, in essence: “Don’t be coy, Katrina. Have you not seen me do that before?”

And she realizes that, yes, she has. But it was always written off as one of his many idiosyncrasies.

So she goes back to observing the kid, but she can’t help but notice all of these strange parallels. Eugene’s mannerisms, things he says and does; things he professes to hate, bear a lot of resemblance to the kid’s behaviors and preferences.

One day, she goes on a research rabbit trail about Autism and its relationship to savantism. And she is absolutely shocked at what she finds. Eugene is practically the poster boy for autistic savantism. It’s clear as the light of day; how had she never noticed this before? Furthermore, how had he never noticed this about himself? And what about his foster parents? Teachers? Doctors?

All the while, Katrina is becoming convinced that there’s a good basis for getting the kid tested, so she goes ahead and schedules an appointment. She wants to talk to Eugene about him potentially getting tested as well, but she’s unsure of how to bring it up— especially because, at that point, Eugene is completely unaware that there may be more to himself than meets the eye. He sees the basis for getting the kid tested; there’s evidence to suggest it. But him? He didn’t have meltdowns.

...or didn’t he?

Y’all remember when Eugene experimented on himself and ended up with a serious case of amnesia because the funding for his project was cut? He had to have been absolutely incensed in order to do something like that. Incensed enough to do something that batshit insane.

Yeah. That’s a meltdown, babes.

We didn’t actually get the privilege of hearing what happened the night he experimented on himself, since our knowledge of it comes from secondary sources, but we can imagine how he must’ve felt when we later hear him begging Mr. Whittaker to use everything in his arsenal to try and get his memory back. Katrina literally had to corral him back before he devolved into a nervous wreck. You can argue that he was just emotionally compromised from trying to navigate a life he couldn’t remember, but his response is, in my opinion, directly related to what drove him to act so carelessly in the first place. It’s in his nature to react so strongly to something like that.

Of course, Eugene doesn’t recognize that. And how could he? That is and always has been his reality. He assumes it must be similar for everyone else. And since his meltdowns, or “moments,” as I’d like to call them, don’t involve kicking and screaming or completely shutting down, he doesn’t think there’s any reason to suspect that he may be autistic, but Katrina is only more and more convinced as time goes on.

So from here I’ve got two ideas; Katrina schedules an appointment for him right around same time that their kid gets tested, so they show up to the office, and the psychiatrist (?) calls up a very confused Eugene. Or , the psychiatrist they’re seeing for the kid straight up reccommends he get tested. I could probably go into more detail about that, but this is already literally SOOO long so I won’t be subjecting y’all to any more.

[meetmeatthecoda]

Okay so, I wanted to offer my two cents on that ask about Liz’s reaction in Luther Braxton: Conclusion. This is NOT meant as an attack on anyone—I find it 100% valid that the OG nonny (and anyone who related to them, including you dear Coda 💖💖💖) feels the way they do; they can’t control how they reacted to Liz any more than I can control how I reacted to that ask. Plus like, this is all fiction so no harm done? I purely wish to share my perspective, not ~present a counterargument~ or anything like that. :) Apologies in advance for how long this got. 😅😅😅

I get why you would react negatively to Liz’s screaming at Red, but I feel like?? That incident of all the times she’s treated him unjustly was (one of?) the most reasonable. Now, how she continues to act afterwards (regarding the Fulcrum but also, like, for the rest of the show welp) is 100% a continued bad decision in so many ways on her part and reflects terribly on her character, but her reaction in the immediate aftermath?? IDK, I feel the need to kind of defend her, probably because I absoluuuutely saw myself in her when she did that. I’ve (I shamefully admit) yelled, shoved, and even kicked at loved ones when they just wanted to comfort me but their attempts made me feel cornered and small. I’ve made logically unbased and ethically/emotionally unfair accusations against people who’ve done nothing but try to help me when I just needed something to get them away (literally or otherwise). When I just needed to attack something—take out my frustrations and confusion and fear and anger on someone. (And if Liz was like that, she might have latched onto Red as her target because he was the closest thing—physically, emotionally, and even in relation to the cause of that confusion and anger itself.) I have inflicted real harm on people while in an unsettling or unfamiliar mental state—harm that I couldn’t take back even when I could look back with a clear(er) mind and realize I never should have said/done any of that.

(Also, side note: when I first watched that ep and I saw Liz screaming at Red not to touch her?? I’d actually thought they were depicting her as being touch-averse due to the trauma and/or overstimulation, and I was?!! Like, call me badly coping but I appreciate seeing characters not being comfortable or straight-up being aggressive about being touched, even for just a moment, because that is me 24/7. Then of course a few more seconds and it turns out it’s not actually that?? Liz is just repulsed by Red’s Bad Guyness again apparently?? Whenever I rewatch the ep I still choose to see it as overstimulation though because, well… my heart is clearly very talented at choosing comfort characters for me. 🥲🥲🥲)

So speaking from personal experience, coming out of a trauma (or revisiting an unresolved one) is so stressful that it’s only natural to react explosively—even to the extent of unfairness and unreasonableness—in an attempt to protect or heal yourself, whether that attempt be justified or not. And honestly, I could even make the argument that for Liz, her attempt was to some extent justified. Of course Red would never hurt her, but sometimes a person needs breathing space. Like, literally needs. Maybe for the sake of her mental stability/health, Liz should have had her first moments coming up from her trance to herself. Does that make sense?? IDK if I made any sense there; I just know that while I never could have gotten to the place I’m at now without the EVENTUAL professional and personal support I’ve been blessed with, I also can’t fathom how much more mental anguish I would have experienced if I’d had people who knew me (or like, the “closest person” in Liz’s case) see me in the immediate aftermath of my trauma. Just… The state I was in? Yikes, am I glad only I saw myself pull myself together; I’d have had so much more to worry about with others seeing me like that. That might just be me and totally inapplicable to Liz of course, so I digress!

I’m not saying Liz isn’t responsible for her words/actions simply because they happened while she was in utter emotional upheaval and under mental and physical duress—Red definitely did NOT deserve that treatment from her. He did NOTHING WRONG. But with that kind of complex angst comes the inevitably mixed but nonetheless potent reactions of fans, I completely understand that. Everyone has different experiences and thus different viewpoints, and that’s fine and totally healthy in my book. Still, something about that discussion struck a chord with me—you can (and should) hold someone accountable for the harm they do while mentally unstable, but it’s possible and also healthy to do that without, yourself, harboring anger or resentment against them, you know? I had to teach myself (and those around me) that, so I guess I just wanted to put it out there. Again, I don’t mean to start anything and I’m so, so sorry if I inadvertently have. I hope it’s okay that I came here to explain my thoughts (and so wordily too, ack I’m sorry), and if not, I won’t anymore. Thank you for hearing me out this time though, I really appreciate it. :)

Dear anon!! 🤗🥰❤️ Firstly, I want to thank you for your kindness & respect for other's opinions!! This ask was worded in the sweetest, most considerate way & I appreciate it very much!! There's absolutely no need to apologize for having your own opinion & perspective, especially when you share & explain it so nicely, so never fear!! 😊❤️ Moving on to the meat of your ask - which is in regards to this previous one - you make such a good point!! When you look at it that way, the Luther Braxton Post-Memory-Unearthing Screaming Explosion is perhaps Liz's most justifiable negative reaction in the series LOL I guess looking back from where we are now - knowing all about & being completely fed up with all of Liz's awful writing & characterization in the subsequent seasons - it's easy to dismiss her reaction in Luther Braxton as something unreasonable & irritating & unfair to Red (which, to some extent - as you graciously allow - it is). But - as you generously point out - while that's a valid way of looking at it, it's also definitely worth examining from another point of view!! And I think your point of view (in everything ofc, but particularly in this) is so valuable!! I can relate at least on some level... I have definitely snapped at people, even those trying to help me, verbally & otherwise, when I lost my temper & just needed some space!! In fact, I think that's a pretty universal stress reaction & it's not necessarily something to be super ashamed of (but definitely something to be aware of & work on - a good reminder for us all!!) & it's definitely not a stretch to imagine Liz was going through something similar after being effectively water-boarded & having her memories so unceremoniously rifled through!! And, after all, Liz has one thing we generally don't... a perfect, convenient, willing catalyst for all the negative things in her life: Red (however undeserving of that title he may be.)

(And re: sidenote of touch-averse!Liz - Omg, I definitely thought about that being their angle at first too!! While I don't usually default to reacting that way myself [kind of the opposite for me usually LOL] I know that plenty of people do & it's 1000% valid as a coping mechanism & honestly??? A touch-averse Liz would be one of the more realistic reactions she's ever had 😂😭 especially considering the circumstances!! And hey, no shame about gravitating towards that interpretation bc it's 1) less painful for you & 2) you like comfort characters bc you 👏 do 👏 you 👏 but also?? I can't say anything bc the reason that I like that interpretation??? I love the angst of an overwhelmed & touch-averse!Liz unintentionally shattering Red's heart by completely rejecting his well-meaning physical comfort anddddd I'm not sure what that says about me tbh 😂😂😂)

Long story short, anon, you made perfect sense here, not to worry!! You were so respectful & cognizant of others' feelings, thank you so much for that, it doesn't go unnoticed!! You bring such a good point to the discussion with your perspective & outlook & I'm so thankful you chose to contribute!! I loved reading your thoughts & don't worry at all about the length, I appreciate your thoroughness!! (Plus, we all know I'm hardly one to talk, I never use one word when twenty will do 😂) Please don't hesitate to come back to my inbox any time to discuss whatever you like, I always love a little bit of friendly TBL conversation, especially since the show as we know it is so abruptly & unexpectedly over 😭 Yes, still grappling with that, in case you were wondering 🥲 Anyway, thank you again for your lovely ask, anon, I appreciate you greatly, & much, much love to you, of course, my friend!! ❤️

[grimoireofwritings]

Hello and I hope you are doing well, is it okay (despite the fact you probably have a bit of matchup requests) if I could get a matchup for BNHA if that is okay?

Okay so the essentials, I am Male (trans) and Omniromantic Asexual (male/masculine leaning), 5'6ish, Capricon, INTJ, in between thin and chubby, brown eyes, red hair up to the cab muscles (henna dyed). My personality is hard to explain, every person has a different opinion of me but the main things I hear are intemidating, empathetic, kind, a serious & calm, and intelligent? (But nah the intelligence part is really only in spanish lol). I'm increadbly insecure in myself. Almost to the point where it becomes self deprecating and self humorous but I almost become hypocritical when it comes to other people feeling insecure/taking care of themselves, I'm also a self sacrificing freak in a way. However on the lighter topic, I believe I'm a good friend! I would offer my advice, comfort, food, help in the clothes of my own back, because of this I may be considered naive and people may see me as being flirtatious even if I believe I'm beings good friend. But all of that goes to dirt if I or anyone I was close to were to be insulted, I keep my friends incredibly dear to me. One more thing about myself, I am a emotional and a animal empath that can become very emotional when it comes to seeing riots/movements and just seeing a cute pupper. When it comes to this sensitivity I can also get overwhelmed by large crowds and by loud noises, usually what helps me is being in the dark and being held/constricted by something/someone. I just like the dark, it's comforting to me and I use it to my advantage. Now onto my likes, I have an interest in witchcraft/the supernatural and celestial, and as being someone that believes that everything exists in it's own way I have an open mind to these things as well as a few unnatural experiences. Naps...I don't get enough of em and that just makes my love stronger, I also really like cosplay and acting in general, and if drawing dark/vent art counts then count it right in! And if it helps my favorite animals in order are Wolves, Ravens, and Orcas. As to not end on a negative note I'll tell more things about myself. I'm very much into PDA if not in public then just in private at least, I want to be close to my significant other and I since I've been touched starved for a long time any touch of any kind I will accept. I am also sensitive to sound (if someone is raising their voice or yelling at me I will think they are yelling at me and try to run away) and light (I don't like very bright places it strains my eyes and hurts to be in for a while)

Hello! Thank you for requesting, you're actually the second request I've gotten for a matchup and the only one I had in my ask! I was super excited to write this for you!!

Your BNHA match is... Fumikage Tokoyami!

I passionately ship this already, I am positive it would be one of those relationships that helps both partners grow and they bring out the best in each other!!! I feel like he wouldn't be someone who feels intimidated by your outward personality - it sounds like you have a bit of a calm and collected exterior that people misunderstand or misinterpret, but you are deeply kind, gentle, and empathic underneath that. This is something he relates to a lot, and being misjudged or people making assumptions based on his dark appearance (his RBF) is normal, so I think if anything he'd be more attracted to you at first above all else and he actually finds your quiet nature very soothing.

He needs a deeply emotionally strong person and a supporter, he's very drawn to those who build others up and have kindness in their heart, so I feel that your relationship would always be full of lots of warmth, love, and a deep level of shared trust. He's very much a vocal person about his feelings in private and it's very important to him that both of you feel satisfied physically and emotionally with your shared affection; he's a cuddle bug but in a chill way, and this man can sweep you off your feet with the most beautiful poetic compliments and appraisal you've ever encountered in your life. Very chivalrous, and a believer in courting / staying persistent with his efforts even past the honeymoon phase. It definitely will help with your confidence in the relationship!

Speaking of which, physical appearance insecurities is something Tokoyami understands thoroughly. He has been aware since early childhood that he looks different than everyone around him for the most part, and despite a lot of diversity within quirks that's been integrated into society, he in particular got quite a physical variation and he always deep down fears he's not attractive enough or that he's too odd looking for a partner to stay interested in for very long. He thinks he's incapable of being handsome, and while he's pretty good at regulating these emotions and keeping them in-check, managing them gets difficult when he catches feelings for someone and he really gets into his head about rejection fears.

All in all, I feel like you both would relate and share some similar experiences in that area, and you could always build each other up and remind one another that you're beautiful inside and out.. and absolutely deserve the best treatment. He reminds you sometimes when needed to take care of yourself and set boundaries with others so that you keep your health as a priority.

Relationship Headcanons:

- 1000000% takes part in your witchcraft interests with you, he was utterly delighted when he found out about it and immediately offers to help you out in any way he can, even running errands to acquire supplies you may need. He wants to talk about it frequently and learn more ideas / in depth perspectives from you - you could teach him a thing or two, since he also practices!!

- After this is when he finally lets you see his room because he was kinda salty after class 1A saw it and made fun of him for it... Lol. But after that he knew you wouldn't judge him and now you both take frequent long naps in there on days off. He's very very cuddly and really enthused about being able to spoon you.

- He understands you have heightened senses and you may sometimes get overstimulated sensory-wise. He is constantly looking out for signs that you're overwhelmed, and always remains very aware and in-tune with how you're feeling. He's wonderful and super understanding - he took a lot of time learning exactly what to do and how to best assist you in these situations. If you get distressed by crowds, bright lights, or noises his first priority is to get you to a safe place and he will politely ask if he can comfort you in the ways you like; restriction probably with hugs and keeping you in a dark, quiet / calm environment so that your heightened state can relax and reset. He is patient and will never, ever punish you or get frustrated with you for needing a break.

- If you're also very tactile and find textures / certain sensations soothing, his bird like feathers / hair is very very soft... Feel free to touch and stroke whenever, he actually quite likes soft loving hands since I think he may also be a very affectionate person, and you're the only person he allows to do this.

- You'll always find gifts that he caters to your preferences in your room, with a poem or some heartfelt words on a note...He does it enough to remind you that you're worth the world and more, especially to him, but not excessively. He still wants it to be a special surprise every time!

- He never ridicules or judges your art, regardless of if it's dark vent art or not. If anything he always compliments your ability to put such emotion in your work and he likes them because it allows him to connect with you and understand you better.

- Overall he's a really aware, giving, supportive, attentive partner and he finds that your empathy and compassion has brought him healthy changes to his life, too. Y'all are goals!

[lucky-bucky-boy]

Homecoming

Pairing: Eventual College!Bucky x Reader (issa slow burn)

Word Count: 2107

Warnings: Fluff, insinuation of reader having anxiety and insecurities, sLoW bUrN

A/N: ooooof this is almost 2 weeks late so y’all might get a second chapter this weekend, if not it’ll be next week. But I dropped a class so I have more time to focus on writing and other projects of mine.

Tagged:  @frenchzodiacgirl @johnnynunzio @all-art-is-quite-useless @necromaniackat @sunflwerstark

-

A haze of excitement casted over the students. Roaring cheers of the crowd as another touchdown was received. A soft breeze blowing, cooling down the heated atmosphere. Moon and stars bright in the sky but drowned out by the white lights blaring down in the field.

Surrounded by friends, laughter, and crappy game food as everyone watched the homecoming game of the Stark University Avengers. A team of massive men with surprisingly just as big of hearts, nothing like one would have expected, nothing like the stereotypical assholes on television. For the most part. 

Their was Steve, easily the most kind person you ever met. Whenever the group hung out he was always sure to ask you how your day was, compliment you on new clothing and hair styles, make you were included. 

Then there was Thor, a foreign exchange student who just wanted to have a good time. He had hung out with the group once, always joking and constantly talking about his girl Jane who was a nurse.

Clint was a quiet, almost always brooding, but quick witted and ultimately a huge softy. He seemed to always look like something was wrong but would throw out a "leave my resting bitch face alone" and other snide remarks always causing the group to snicker. 

Peter was the one that didn't seem to have all of his innocence taken. Sure, all the guys were sweet, but they all had something about them, some secret or fuck boy tendency that could sometimes make you question if their smile was friendly or flirtatious. He was awkward but easily excited and happy to just be apart.

And Bucky. Bucky was the one who could knock the wind out of someone, both literally and metaphorically. He was so… Bucky. A smile that never failed to reach his bright blue eyes, that crinkled ever so slightly when he did. A laugh that was absolutely contagious. A voice that could soothe and rile all in one sentence. A heart of pure gold and steel melted together. Quick to come to someone's defense, quicker to steal their heart. But he had a reputation that preceded him. One that involved dating a girl until he got what he wanted and leaving her for the next. Ladies man, player, fuck boy. 

Lost in thoughts as the game came to an end, the crowd screaming the winning touchdown was, Wanda elbowed you and everyone stood, cheering the team on. Joining them in the celebration of roars you grounded yourself to the moment, happy and proud for your friends.

Seats cleared out soon after, bodies still buzzing with excitement. Girlfriends going over to congratulate their boyfriends, friends whooping as they approached each other. “The guys are going to shower then meet at your dorm,” Nat announced, looking down at her phone as you and Wanda followed.

A squeal fell from Wanda’s lips, her need for social interactions fluttering out like a butterfly finally leaving the cocoon. “I’ll text Sam to see if he can grab some more beers.” 

You kept quiet, a forced smile on your face as you tried to fake being as excited as she was for yet another night of excessive stimulation. You loved your friends, truly were thankful for each and everyone of them. But you were more introverted than they were. A need for a quiet moment, a breath of fresh air, a still scene to recharge. Another night of intensity would drain every last will out of you.

Once back at the dorm, Nat narrowed her eyes at you as you jumped on your bed. “What’s up with you? You’ve been quiet.”

“Nothing,” you shrugged, “Our team just won and our friends are coming over, what would be wrong?”

Wanda pouted, “You’re lying, you won’t look at us when you talk.”

A sigh fell from your lips, “I’m just a little overstimulated. I promise nothing is wrong. I’ll probably just go for a walk then come back.” You sent them both a reassuring smile, “Here, I’ll head out now so I’ll be back around the time the boys get here, okay?”

The two glanced at each other before looking back at you and nodding. “Keep your phone on you. If we don’t hear anything in an hour we’re sending a search party.” Nat’s threat was rooted with worry but you couldn’t help but giggle.

“Alright, mom. I’ll be safe, I promise.” You teased. Changing an oversized sweatshirt of one of the guys and a pair of jeans, you slipped your converse on and headed out, sighing contentedly the second the door was shut. 

With no destination, you set out, wondering the parts of the campus that seemed the darkest, hoping to get the best view of the stars and crickets and owls sang a melody in the distance. A sense of peace washed over you, happy to see the bright lights of the field being flicked off one by one. 

Turning the corner around a building you ran straight into some, more like somebody. A soft “oof” as an arm wrapped around you, keeping you steady. “You okay, doll?”

An all too familiar voice has your head jerking up. “Oh Bucky! Sorry,” you squeaked out, pulling back from his arms. “Wasn’t expecting you to be out here, wasn’t expecting anyone to be out here really.” You mumbled, crossing an arm over the front of yourself.

“I like going for walks after games, helps me clear my head. Was actually about to start heading to your dor- wait, is that my sweatshirt?”

Looking down you could feel your skin heat up in embarrassment, remembering now that he had left it on your bed last week when the guys came over for game night. “Y-yeah, it was on my bed and I just grabbed the first thing I saw and threw it -” “Looks good on you, keep it.” The smoothness of his voice caused you to finally look at him straight on, seeing a soft smirk on his lips. “So whats a little girl like you doing out here all alone?” There was a tease dripping off of his tone.

“Well…” you shrugged sofly, “I just kinda get overwhelmed and overstimulated if I’m doing a lot all the time. And since we’ve had a mini party every week since the start of school and then the game and just constantly out doing things I just wanted a chance to enjoy the quiet.”

There was a softness in Bucky’s features at your admittance, a gentle, warming smile and a welcoming sparkle in his ocean eyes. “Mind if I join you?” Even his voice was softer than a moment prior. “You can tell me no, but I get what you mean. I get the same way.” “No, I mean, yeah, you can join. Would definitely put the girls as ease knowing you were with me.” You almost missed the content smile as he stuffed his hands into the front pocket of his jeans when you pulled your phone out, texting Nat and Wanda to not worry cause Bucky had joined you on your walk.

Shoving the phone into your back pocket you looked up at him, smiling sweetly, “Well, come on then Mr.Barnes. The stars won’t hold still for us all night.”

It was odd how content you felt walking in silence with Bucky, head tilted up to look at the sprinkles of light against the deep black background. His gaze would flicker between the path in front of you two, the sky, and you when he was sure you weren’t looking.

After about ten minutes of walking, Bucky’s voice finally broke through the comfortable silence. “Why do you like the stars so much?”

A soft giggle left your lips as you pulled your gaze from the sky to look at him. “There’s a lot of reasons.”

“Well, Ms. (Y/L/N),” his tone a playful tease of yours earlier, “We have all night for you to explain.”

“Well, then okay,” you feigned annoyed, earning a light chuckle from him, “I guess I can tell you. To start, there’s the childish reason. They’re sparkly and pretty. Especially pictures or through a telescope. Then there’s the morbid reason, that even though most of these stars could be dead at this point, we still see them shining so brightly. Then… there’s the nerdy reason. Space in general really, it’s just captivating. It’s serene, innocent almost. Undisturbed and just unapologetically there. Plus, there’s that saying we all hear growing up, “I love you to the moon and back”. And aliens. The concept of aliens is cool.”

The last addition caused a spurt of laughter to part from his lips. “Yeah, aliens are cool. I actually went through an alien phase.” His smile was more genuine than you had ever seen him with before. “My mom actually really likes space and everything as well. She used to sit me on her lap in the backyard and tell me all the myths and legends that went with it. She went on a vacation one year to the middle of a desert in Chile I think just to see the whole Milky way. Anyway, when I was like 11 maybe my mind started running and I was briefly obsessed with aliens.” It was your turn to laugh now. “All I can imagine is you, scrawny and barely 4 foot 5, with a bowl cut, and running around screaming about aliens.”

“... you are oddly spot on and that’s not okay.” He joined you in laughing, shaking his head at the ridiculous image in his head.

Your laughter diminished softly, “I don’t get to see the stars like this at home, too close to the city for that luxury.”

“Oh,” there was an unease in him, causing you to look over at him in confusion, “I uh, I don’t like to talk about it but my family is pretty well off, so this stuff is just kind of the norm for me,” he said gesturing to the sky, “My mom didn’t come from money though so she had a special appreciation for the smaller things that money could bring.” He huffed out a small chuckle, “You actually kinda remind me of her. You’re just… calming.”

“That’s a first,” you teased, trying your best to keep the mood light, not sure if you were unknowingly running into uncharted territories.

“Oh come on, quit with that. Don’t act like you don’t know that all the guys in the group have tried coming onto you at least once.”

That caused you to freeze in your steps, jaw slacking some, “Nuh uh.”

“Yuh huh. Everyone except Thor. I’m just not as subtle about it.” The shit eating smirk was back on his face.

“Cause you’re a player,” a quip that fell from your lips faster than you could comprehend.

Thankfully he just kept the back and forth going, “I never played anyone though. I just like girls and sex.”

You shook your head at that, not being able to help the smile on your lips. “Why don’t you date though?”

He shrugged, “Well, I don’t really know where I’m going after here, so why have a commitment to tie me down?” It made sense, it really did, but you couldn’t ignore the small tinge of pain in your chest at the insinuation that a relationship was burden. “Okay, well, what do you want to do after here?”

“You know just about as much as I do.” He mumbled. “My dad mentioned me taking over his law firm but… I didn’t even really want to do law. Just knew it’d be easy cause I’ve been around it my whole life. When I was younger, all I wanted to do was just have a happy family, I never thought about the logistics behind it. Steve and I talked about the army briefly but our mamas would’ve quickly kicked out asses into next century.” He suddenly stopped and looked over at you, your gaze back on the stars again. Noticing he’d gone quiet you looked over at him, face heating up when you realized he had been staring at you. “What?” An uncontrollable smile spread across your lips. “Nothing I just - we should probably head back soon. But… We should do this again, hang out just the two of his.”

It was hard to not fully make a fool of yourself, hurry out a quick tease, “What? Am I giving Steve a run for his money as your best friend?” There was that laugh again that made you stomach shoot up into butterflies, “Keep it up and you just might.”

[mcrmadness]

I was writing elsewhere about why I don’t relate to he most common Asperger’s traits and why do I think I have a logic explanation to everything they think makes me an asperger, and the text got so long I might as well just copypaste some of that on here:

It's also so hard to find any good list of Asperger’s symptoms because almost every list says "may or may not be like this", and I definitely am missing the core symptoms of Asperger's and autism. I only relate to those symptoms that are present in both, Asperger's/autism AND adhd, and then to symptoms found in ADD but not only in Asperger's/autism.

I also lack anything from childhood that makes a kid a typical autistic kid. And many things that I share with autistic people I can already explain with other things like my personality, e.g.:

I don't like people because I'm an introvert, not because I'm not neurotypical; and I'm aroace which is why my interests are more important to me than human relationships.

I don't look people in the eye because I am highly sensitive person and an introvert. I also have lots of traumas from other people which makes me act like that because I still basically expect people to start shouting at me or something out of blue, so I'm sometimes acting the same way as a dog that has been beaten too many times and can no longer trust humans.

And this can be easily seen as weird and antisocial when I'm looking at the walls and ceiling and everything else but the person I'm talking to, it just helps me concentrate when I can stare at something that gives my eyes things to do. I'd probably be counting people's nose hair and get distracted by that if I stared at them.

Being stared at overall makes me highly uncomfortable because of being an introvert and HSP.

And me being sensitive to things is also a HSP thing + migraine.

The overstimulation and sensory overload I feel because of HSP is different to those with autism. I have a filter, I can stand that into certain levels but the filters fills up faster than non-HS people’s and then I just start seeing and hearing everything. I’ve understood that people with autism don’t have this kind of filter and when they go to places with lots of stimuli happening all around, they can’t take it the second it happens. In my case I can stand it even when the filter is full but if I don’t get peace soon, I usually get irritated and eventually end up with a headache.

I just wish they would give me an opportunity to explain why I think what I think and didn't just suggest medications for this and that. I mean this psychiatrist already was talking about meds and how he could suggest me a anxiety medication and how "some medications do cause the feelings to go numb, unfortunately". Me on my ANTIDEPRESSANTS was like having depression without melancholy. I couldn’t focus even that little I now can.

How did I end up with an Asperger’s diagnosis, then? I think it’s all just a misunderstanding and professionals understanding my words the wrong way and focusing too much on how I’m on the outside rather than actually paying attention on what I say is happening inside my head. So far I've got social anxiety and generalized anxiety disorder on paper. With the latter I've been living since early childhood and I got the diagnosis when I was 28. And when I went to a psychiatrist last time with this anxiety shit (I was 22), I was desperately looking for a diagnosis with anxiety and what did I get? I got told I can't get therapy if I don't eat medications because "it does not work without meds and we don't have any resources for that", and only when I actually was so mad I finally stood up for myself and said "I'm not going to put any kind of pill into my mouth ever again so f this is all about medications, I guess we're done here." and was already ready to leave and that's when the doctor was a bit baffled and I swear she sounded a bit annoyed when she asked what would have I wanted from therapy, then.

They did not take me seriously, they saw just the social phobia that I told millions of times not being the problem. Me not leaving the house because I was so afraid of accidentally having low blood sugar was not social phobia. I wasn't afraid of people stealing my blood sugar you know??? But they thought I needed group therapy and it was the only solution and there I could also get therapy, even tho I told them I don't like forced socializing and I don't want to go there. They still booked me an appointment with people from that group therapy thing and I legit felt like we'd have sat in that meeting room for days until I'd say "okay I will try it". It literally was just them trying to talk me over to try it. And I went to this thing a couple of times until I messaged them that it's not my thing, I'm not coming there anymore and that's why they cut contact with me because I didn't accept the offered therapy method. And afterwards I went to see my information on the website with medical information and nearly fell of the chair because it said I had been diagnosed with Asperger's. With my mom we actually came to the conclusion it’s because they needed some kind of diagnosis to be done in order to get in that group therapy but I am still stuck with this stupid diagnosis that no doctor now is willing to take away! I'm sure my stubborn behaviour and "I don't like people in places like these" was what made the psychiatrist think it must be Asperger's. They were and still are only worried about people not being able to be a part of the society and an individual has to change instead of trying to make the society better place to live for everyone.

The previous doctor I had for 5 years (ages 17-22), at that time my dad was going to Asperger tests a few times and we all were certain that he has Asperger's too but nope, he doesn't. And at that time we all were also interested in knowing if I have Asperger's and I asked about it from that doctor and he immediately said nope, he doesn't think I have that at all. I also was to neuropsychiatric tests when I was 22 and there were some things, mainly about social skills and emotions and feelings and my "obsessive-compulsive" behaviour they thought supported the Asperger's. My explanations again: Social anxiety. I have problems with emotions because my dad has anger issues and I only lately realized I'm afraid to let all the feels come out because I'm afraid of losing control and accidentally hurting myself, someone else or breaking something. And I don't want that, I need to be in control of myself at all times. I also find it hard to cry because I feel like I can't cry hard enough, I should literally cry my eyes out for it to be efficient. When I thik about anger, I think I just see in my head how my dad reacts to it and I don't want to be like that. So I keep it all in and only way to let it out is by channeling it into something else, like writing, drawing or playing video games. (This is a HSP thing but could also be ADHD thing.) I have the results of the and everything they say about me understanding social cues wrong... I think that's it, they think I don't understand them when it's just because of the heavy bullying that made me unable to trust anything other people do or say. I'm actually good at reading people, I don't have trouble understanding people's facial expressions. I myself don't really use facial expressions because it's a self-defense mechanism, I'm not "allowed" to let people see how I feel. Also social anxiety made me really think i was the center of the world and everyone who laughed, was laughing at me, and combined with bullying, I felt like everyone was talking about behind my back and I just felt so hated because it WAS the truth, but I also was sure that also people who don't know me, do that. So me misunderstanding social cues and those were not typical Asperger's but just caused by bullying and being hated by everyone, and excessive loneliness which sometimes felt like I was going crazy and started having voices in my head because I just needed to have a conversation. I still sometimes think friendships work like they did when I was a teenager because that was the last time I've had an actual friend group or even actual friends. I mean friends who I can actually meet with. Only one of those people is still in my life and we live about 2km from each other but still we meet like 1-2 times a year because we always keep talking about how we need to meet and then don't meet. Rest of my friends I know through internet and I’d so much want to meet but can’t and I can only try and guess how I’d work in situation where I’d be in the same room with them because I no longer remember how that even works. That’s how lonely I am because I can’t get to use social skills outside of the internet that much like, ever. I also had to do lots of learning with social situations when I got over the worst parts of social anxiety, it prevented me from learning things you learn as a teenager because I'd enter panic mode when someone talked to me and then spent the rest of the day analyzing it and wishing I was in control and did something differently. Same thing happened with the antidepressants, 5 years of my life without emotions and feelings. They were taken away when I was 17 and then I got them back when I quit the meds and was 22 and suddenly I should have needed to know how to deal with adult emotions.

So, long story short, bullying left me with inability to read other people CORRECTLY but that does not mean I wouldn’t be able to read people. Nowadays I don’t do the mistakes that much anymore, I sense people’s emotions very easily and I mirror people. I might be weird but it’s not because I would act weird or use weird, inapproprite facial expressions. I enjoy being weird so when I do that, it’s usually because of my sense of humour just not matching with other people’s. But there’s still people who DO understand it, it’s they usually just are not neurotypical.

[midas-or-khaos]

Spirit, Chapter 3

“...Say what?” She must be joking, Bill was not becoming some glorified pet, no matter how nice Buttercup was. Ekashi’s parents looked to be on the same wavelength, the tattooed shape around his mother’s mouth that resembled a permeant smile managing to match her disappointment. The kids with sour pouts just looked like they ‘wanted one’. Fucking great. Catch 22. Upset the whole family, what a surprise. At least Grandma intervened.

“Daughter, don’t worry yourself, your son will be fine. All of you carry on, enjoy your food, relax, we will deal with this. Aiya, stop pouting, a spirit is not a dog, you can’t ‘have him’.”

Bill appreciated the lack of focus on himself as all went back to what they were doing, if slightly slowly. The gaze of the eager teens still weighing in every now and then, Aiya especially.

“Ekashiba, take a look at the back of your hands. You should have the symbol of the earth.”

Taking a look at the hand holding him, more black strips peaking out from the curved round the blind spot he hadn’t noticed in his observations when looking up. This pensioner wasn’t lying huh? How’d she know all this?

Looking up, poor ol Butters was on the same wavelength as him. Lost.

“Grandma, how do you know all this? I mean, I know you were a priestess in the past at that huge shrine in the mainland, but last I heard, that was when you still practiced shamanism.”

“I know all this because it’s happened to me before when I was young. It’s a rare occurance, but sometimes the Kamuy see the plights of humanity and decides to intervene themselves. It’s why I converted in the first place.”

Non of that made any real sense.New religion, new name, nothing he knew anything about. All except the word Kamuy.

“Oi, wait a minute, what are you talking about? Are we in Japan?”

Both adults looked down.

“What’s kyapan?”

How could they not know the country they lived in? Were names not translating over properly, like when Ekashi couldn’t say buttercup? Or were these some extremely isolated people like the Mormons or something? But even the Mormons knew about modern technology, these people knew nothing. They weren’t a tribe in the middle of Amazon, they were in JAPAN! The most technologically advanced countries in the world!

The patronising slowness couldn’t quite keep out, “Japan as in, the country we’re in, y’now? Tokyo, Nara, Hiroshima? Any of this sound familiar?”

A lacking level of understanding was shared between the equally furrowed brows. Grandma wasn’t impressed though, giving a supreme side eye that could best his own mum’s, that spoke ‘more shit is coming out your mouth than your arse and that isn’t a good thing’. To top it off, she also spoke with the same hint of sass. Oops.

“Is that what you call this land? Then no, we aren’t in ‘Kyapan’, as you say. We’re in Shikotsu.”

Shikotsu? Where the hell was that?! That didn’t sound like any country he knew, was he even on earth!

Grandma was paused for thought, spite trailing out and softening the creases of her wrinkles in favour of curiosity. At the very least he didn’t have to worry about her holding grudges, a small blessing,

“I’m curious. If you don’t speak our language, where are you from?”

“England, Manchester. I just moved down south to learn how to illustrate books.”

Another pause.

“Child, where do you think Shikotsu is?”

She couldn’t possibly be hinting at... could she be right?

“On the continent of Asia? Maybe North America at a real stretch” Ekashi let loose a small gasp. No way.

“Spirit, this is... I think you may have come from another world.”

Breath stopping coming in, the bitterness of carbon dioxide building in his lungs and biting at his throat couldn’t bring his mind to focus. It all felt so clear now, the veil lifted. Somewhere in this haze of madness, his mind had unwittingly tricked him into believing all this was a fever dream he could escape from. That there was an exit. The signs were right there all along but he’d refused to understand. This wasn’t as simple as being in a foreign country. This was another world.

Why... no-

What is this absolute Bullshit?

“ROOSTER!”

“CHRIST!” He couldn't hear.

“Breath, Rooster.”

Rumbled Ekashiba, calloused, warm thumbs rubbed at shaking shoulders. Breathe. He could breathe. All this anxiety was getting on his nerves, he was never like this before, and being needy was the bane of his life.

“I’m sorry, I overreacted. All I seem to be is a panicky, freezing deadweight.” Both hands came round in a living blanket, leathery skin sinking to fit his form in this odd ‘hug’. It should’ve been repulsive, physical touch often being the biggest cause of overstimulation for himself when so riled up, and yet he couldn’t help but relax again like before. This must’ve been a ‘spirit’ thing. It was so wrong, but so right, a nasty juxtaposition messing with his head.

Thankfully Grandma spoke up, “It is to be expected, you have gone beyond what you ever knew possible.”

Plucked up, Bill found himself flopped down on familiarly patterned wool. The hands retreated, and came back with a ladle of some kind of stew. The scent of unfamiliar ingredients sent his mind buzzing with a hunger he’d all but forgotten, helping to sweep aside all negativity. Too much adrenaline in such a short space of time, along with sickness and sleep left the boy all too busy to think of food.

“We can talk later, child. For now, you must eat.”

That was all she had to say.

Eating was a mostly silent affair on his end, with recognisable comments passing over rarely as the family talked about whatever. It was nice to at last be out of sight and able to just be himself In his mind alone. All that staring had been down right creepy and near predatory from some of the youngest. Ekashi wasn’t letting him go just yet, placing the worn out youth in his lap as he too ate and talked overhead. It was like eating on a parachute sized hammock, and honestly the whole fiasco of it was an Olympic sport. So it was no wonder as he finished the last piece of whatever root vegetable that was, that he just collapsed on the stretched fabric and drifted along consciousness.

A prod at his side. Ughhhhhhhh.

“No no, it’s too early to sleep. You slept till noon when you were ill and now you’re better. You must stay awake until the sun comes down or you will not sleep tonight.”

Buttercup, why must you do this? The boy was sure this giant was nice a moment ago.

“Hurry up, sun.” Came the belligerent reply.

A chuckle for his troubles.

“The sun will set when it’s ready. Till then there is more to do. Firstly, getting you some proper clothing while I go tend to the dogs.”

That was about as much fun as doing a french speaking exam with an actual french person. Buttercup’s mum had reluctantly taken to measuring the child, whilst his dad acted as a helping hand, sourcing fabrics from around their expansive fire pit (must've been a general utility room then). Admittedly it started out awkward, but the whole encounter wasn’t wasted being silent, oh no. Grandma and Akiko(who’s name he kept forgetting ) took It upon themselves to take this chance to start teaching some basic words, clothing items finally getting names. Turns out he knew jack shit about textiles (though from his D grade in year 7, it was hardly surprising). The Attush, which was the main robe everyone wore, wasn’t made of wool. It was made of nettles, and lined with deer or bear fur for warmth. Then the sleeveless jacket was called a Jin...baooooriii? Sounded right. Anyway, that was made of cotton. That piece of clothing, and the jewellery wasn’t worn often. Turned out as Bill was told to T-pose and be a mannequin, The story of his discovery from their perspective came up Akiko was happy to tell the story to help get her mind off the fact that she was dealing with him (or that’s what it certainly felt like, though it wasn’t a lie that he wasn’t enjoying being touched by unfamiliar tree trunk fingers, so fairs fair) and let Grandma translate. Turned out that they’d just come back from a festival for the god mentioned earlier when they heard him shouting.

After all this, the least he could do was try and make a good impression to the mum so she’d lessen her upturned lips and the two could finally be manageable around each other.

“Is there anything I can do to help? I feel kind of useless here while everyone is helping out-”

A waving, bony hand silenced him.

“You will help in time, don’t worry. But for this there’s no tools your size, so we will do it. Just carry on learning our language for a start.”

Damn it, there had to be something he could do other than stand there like some wallflower. Couldn’t help, couldn’t sleep, and damn it he hated languages with a fierce passion. It’s hard enough remembering English words half the time, let alone getting them muddled up with something new. Plus it never made sense, any of it. The rules to language are constantly broken, and then the need for female and male pronouns on furniture and other inmate objects? He was a fish and language was a bird flying right the fuck over his head... he never was one for good metaphors.

“Alright, I’ll give it a go.”

“Perfect.”

It was 3 more hours before anything could be put away, and if boy didn’t have arms like Beyonce then this was all for nothing, ‘cause the fatigued ache had made it that he couldn’t even raise a hand. On a brighter note, a small understanding on pronouns was squeezed out.

“Alright, we’re done. Go take your clothes and find Ekashiba.”

“Why am I gonna find Ekashiba?”

“To help show you how to put all of clothes on.”

Oh come on, he’s 19, he knows how to get dressed! It’s a robe, not Fort Knox. Fuck sake.

“...where is he?”

“Just through that passage on your right. Try and stay by the walls, less chance of getting stood on.”

“See you soon.”

Following the walls was nothing new. Any time spent in middle school with 12 year olds who had a cross between Sisyphus’ boulder and a boxer’s right hook for a backpack would teach you how to stick close to solid safety. Bill had spent 5 years in that shithole. Took awhile, wasn’t any need to rush, just follow the sound of dog chuffs and wagging tails thumping the floor. Maybe he could find a nook to get changed in?

A familiar droopy firebrick-red face popped his face round the corner of the wide corridor. Doge was back! Yeah, maybe he could get the dog to hide him.

“Hey boy, come heeeeerrrrreeeeee.”

Trotting over, the lion maned good boy bent down and licked happily at the familiar sight of Bill, and all that licking, whilst gross, was ticklish and friendly.

“Geh! Sssstttooooppppppp ehehehhehe. You’re too much!”

“Well, looks like Poro has taken a liking to you. She must see you as one of her pups.” Buttercup stood at the exit, looking down and smirking impishly while letting Bill get loved on, making no move to stop it.

Doge was a she. Of course he got that wrong; hard to tell who’s what when their body has enough hair to make a rug.

“Oh. well, all the same stop Girl.”

“Poro, come here.”

At last, sweet freedom! Sweet, messy freedom

“Thanks for the impromptu bath Poro.”

Gruff

“I’ll give you a bowl of water to wash.” Ha! Sympathy is a bitch.

Despite the cheekiness, Ekashi seems to mean well. He realises more than the others that Bill is more an adult than the family give credit for and leaves the boy to do as he wishes while he grooms the dogs. Given the opportunity, the lukewarm bath sesh dragged out, head resting on the rim of the bowl and a review of the day reeling behind the doors to his mind. He’s tiny, check, he’s never gonna be Bear Grills, check and he’s now in one way or another attached to a giant from another world. Check...shit. Obviously it must’ve been the gods if grandma had seen all this before. Why though? What did a uni student from Manchester have in terms of use? He was tiny, had no skills for survival, fighting or cooking, he didn’t know anything about this world; what use was a painting degree and two A levels in mythology and acting?

It’s an hour later of mulling that the boy actually brings it up.

“Ekashi, what is the festival you went to about?”

The man paused in his workings, but didn’t turn round.

“The festival is meant to celebrate the beginning of the world. When from chaos, the elements of the world came about: earth, water, fire and air. Together they came, and the world was born from their clashing and fighting, which broke them apart into infinite pieces, which became the all that exists in the world. The rivers, the grass, all of it.”

“Your Grandma mentioned the Kamuy sent me.”

Ekashi froze, back tensed. Bill fell silent, feeling he’d hit something he shouldn’t.

“...During the festival, there is a chance for prayer. We give offerings and can ask for assistance of give thanks.”

This was beginning to feel a lot like not his business.

“...what did you ask.”

“I asked for guidance.”

He was dodging the answer. Bill was always so bad at reading people, but this didn’t need facial expressions or tones of voice. This felt... apart of him.

“...And?”

“...And a chance for something new.”

[confusedinfj]

Baby functions

Do do do do do doo

First up, I'm not convinced you can change type before 6, which is one of the theories floating around. From what I can gather, you're defs born preferencing a function, but it does seem like you have access to all 4. So based on that, this is a summary of what the functions probs look like in babies and small children - or very underdeveloped people. If you put the functions together in order, you should *hopefully*have a rough description of yourself as a kid. Here's to hoping!

Ni - the happy mini-adult babies. Adventurous, bossy, confident. Likes ritual, not routine. Likes security and knowing after the adventure is done they can go home and be loved. Wants to do everything, mainly by themselves, so they can get as much data as possible for their predictive minds. A bit of a know it all - usually right. Seems older than they are. Very competent - will make up a way to do something if you don't teach them. Likes their things a particular way, leaves your stuff alone. Mini adults in the sense of being trapped in a baby body with very little life experience.

Gif: baby's day out, about an infj baby having a good old time

Si - the serious mini-adult babies. Likes routine. Confident and bossy. Happy not doing much, so long as a parent or familiar is close by. Likes their things a certain way, and your stuff too. Don't rearrange the house on them! Not fond of new things (food, experiences). Seems older than they are, and will act like they're your equal. Very competent once they've been taught what to do or have watched someone else do something similar. Mini adults in a philosophical sense, tries to uphold moral/whatever standards from a very young age.

Gif: Si babies are easily scared by new things

Ne - scatterbrained babies. Not necessarily up to much. Do whatever seems like a good idea at the time - has trouble focusing on one thing and working towards goals. Messy like all kids, but legit has no clue where anything is. Goes through weird phases. Imaginative unless overstimulated by television and other tech, in which case - totally emmersed. Dreams big when not distracted, and likes to experience the world first hand. Doesn't like routine, but likes landmarks throughout the day. Wants to know they can come home for dinner at 6 when they're done playing who knows where.

Gif: What a great idea

Se - Just kind of there babies. Chill providing they're taken care of and comfortable. Likely to sit back and watch how the world works. Goes along with life, not too bothered lack of structure, providing they're physically looked after. Likes engaging with people and showing off a bit.

Gif: Se baby just chilling

Fi - reflector babies. If their environment is miserable, so are they, and vice versa. Wants to understand everything morally, and do what's right. Has a nasty streak and a bit of a temper when pressed. Wants to be kind and nurture or create things. Happy to be alone in quiet contentment.

Gif: just general Fi cuteness

Ti - observational babies. Likes to sit back and watch, figuring everything out. Not bothered by how smart you think they are and will happily not talk if they can't be bothered. Competent, but also remarkably stupid. Happy to be alone working things out.

Gif: Ti baby watching you humiliating yourself

Fe - attention-seeking babies. Wants everyone to be happy, but also wants things done their way. Not afraid to be super naughty and make everyone suffer if they feel like it. Likes attention and praise. Very sociable and friendly. Can be bossy - a natural leader. Not always good at telling what's actually going on or what people actually think of them, but doesn't notice. Definitely doesn't want to be alone for too long, wants to have a clear social group.

Gif: should be obvious aha

Te - copycat babies. Does whatever they see around them. Imitates the adults. Randomly says mean/dark/grown up things. Driven for their own success and pleasure. Like causing subtle trouble and secretly controlling things - like other kids. Wants to be praised for their intelligence and achievements, but also doesn't really want to be noticed at all. Happy to just be included. Wants to do everything for themselves, but also a bit clingy and emotionally attached to a few select people (like mum). Bossy, but not always in an obvious way. Doesn't like being alone for too long, and will go with the flow of the group.

Gif: Te baby copying and controlling you

[salavante]

Aesop 29 or the Helmsman

(I’ve drawn his floating head a lot, so here’s him with his hood up, which I draw less) Also formal apology because I think like maybe no more than four people who follow me play Destiny, so a couple things may sound a little esoteric. I’d suggest checking out the Ishtar Collective (links to offsite) if I refer to something unfamiliar. 

Full Name: Aesop-29

Gender and Sexuality: Male and Homosexual.

Pronouns: He/Him.

Ethnicity/Species: Exo, from the little crop of Destiny fancharacters that I have.

Birthplace and Birthdate: Unknown factor. But Aesop was found by his Ghost in the middle of nowhere, in a southwestern state that I have not chosen yet. Arizona, Texas, Colorado and Southern California are all candidates. Aesop has just a little bit of a Texan accent. 

Guilty Pleasures: Aesop is trying to learn how to play guitar and is really bad at it, making him very shy and nervous about his attempts. Similarly, Aesop enjoys singing, but usually does it when no one else is around - because no one else has really heard him sing before, it is a well kept secret between him and his Ghost that he’s actually pretty good. I personally like to keep the list of music that he likes to the 50’s-60’s bracket to match the kind of retrofuturistic style that the Golden Age tech in Destiny has. We the viewer read it as being ‘old’, even if it’s much, MUCH older than we realize because the setting is far future. That’s really all that matters, that we recognize it as being antiquated. His favorite of the very small pool of albums he has access to are Marty Robbins’ “Gunfighter Ballads and Trail Songs” and Nancy Sinatra’s “Boots” and “Sugar”. Sojourn teases him about it and has thusly introduced him to the feeling of shame. He also likes drinking alcohol even if it doesn’t actually make him drunk. Sometimes he does it out of spite. Someone you don’t like? Pound his drink right in front of him and walk away.

Phobias: Aesop’s kinda agoraphobic - he feels trapped and panicked in enclosed areas with lots of people, can be overstimulated by large groups of people talking/making a lot of noise. This makes him mostly useless in large-scale conflicts. He has managed to curb some of this by being accompanied by Sojourn or Calico to areas or situations that are high risk (whether that means a combat scenario or just going to The City), but this can get squirrely because Calico doesn’t have a ghost anymore and if killed would die permanently, and Sojourn has a tendency to get worked up in a fight and leave him behind on accident. If everything goes well though, Aesop is perfectly functional fighting in the small group that is his fireteam - himself, Sojourn (exo warlock) and King (human titan). His ghost, Chanticleer, can also sometimes talk him down if he’s starting to spin up into a panic attack. It’s something that he wants to fix, but, existing within the confines of your anxiety is a cold comfort that he indulges in. In general, he’s a very anxious person with a lot of existential dread, but he puts on a clownish, brazen act and hopes people don’t notice.

What They Would Be Famous For: Honestly, probably something very mundane, like breaking a dopey Guinness-style record or something like that. The entire point of Aesop is that he is very average in his skills in a world of blisteringly powerful space wizards and the like. I find his challenges are more about what goals he sets for himself and if those goals conflict with the status quo. Does his worth need be defined by how good he is at killing things vs. is the pursuit of personal wellness and happiness selfish in the context of a world fighting for its survival. Can these things coexist. etc.  

What They Would Get Arrested For: Probably something relatively benign done for the sake of pulling a dangerous stunt in the name of fun or looking cool. If he was a regular ass human in a normal modern setting, probably taking a nice vintage car for a joyride.

OC You Ship Them With: Aesop will have a love interest in the comic canon, but I’m gonna keep that under my hat for awhile yet. It’s not Cayde though, Cayde is dad. If Amanda Holliday was a man, he’d be utterly and entirely in love, but, alas. He’s still infatuated with her platonically though, and thinks she has pretty much the coolest job in the world. A promise of visiting her is a good way to entice him into going to The City.

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: When death is not a factor, this becomes less of an issue, hah. Aesop and his bff Sojourn have killed each other a number of times in training, to an almost nonchalant degree. Aesop has also been killed much more in training, by his fireteam’s resident titan, King. Aesop will also find a rival in a local Fallen pike gang, the leader of which has the placeholder name of Easy Rider. I also have a Cabal villain I am throwing around and trying to decide if they’ll stick, but I need to do a lot more work and research on that. They’re my least favorite enemy type mechanically, but I think they could make perfectly acceptable antagonists in a narrative. 

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Aesop does not read. He can, he just doesn’t. I think maybe, MAYBE, someone could get him to read comic books, but those aren’t very sturdy and I feel like the amount of intact physical copies at this point would be almost nothing. The pool of movies and media that he has available to him are very sparse, but he absolutely drowns himself in spaghetti westerns, and would probably also like trashy action movies if they were available to him. I also think he would like Grease, HAHA. It has cars and guys in leather jackets singing in it. He’d also probably like any kind of rustic, western themed musical. And anything with cars in it would have his immediate interest no matter how bad it is, but he’d zone out in any parts he doesn’t like. 

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: To be honest I think most of the time, movies are a little too long for him and lose his interest partway through. He has a really short attention span and anything too long, complicated or artsy will lose him and he’ll start being fidgety and chatty and start making his boredom everyone else’s problem. Even if there’s a movie he likes, if there’s a part that’s boring to him, he zones out. He probably watches the same 2-3 movies over and over again, which is fine because his available library of media is probably really small. I like to think that they probably have movies in some kind of archive that they put up publicly in The City every once in awhile, like they have a projector that puts it on the side of a building and people just bring chairs and shit. Aesop has an aforementioned fear of crowds but he probably does some hunter parkour bullshit and perches somewhere at a healthy distance to watch from afar, as long as it’s something he thinks he would like. If he doesn’t he gets up and leaves.

Talents and/or Powers: Aesop seems to have an interest in vehicles, but due to a bet with his mentor, Calico, he has not actually been taught how to drive a Sparrow and so pines for them from afar. As said, he’s learning how to play an instrument, and if we want to be technical, is a Gunslinger speced Hunter with the Golden Gun super. He is very bad at being stealthy, as he is very impatient and is also a little bigger than the average exo. He’s just kinda tall and wide and tends to clunk around. If his Ghost Chanticleer wasn’t as clever as she was, Aesop would probably be perma-dead by now.

Why Someone Might Love Them: He’s kind of a dumbass and a space cadet but has the potential to be very sweet, and the people he cares about, he latches on to really hard. Similarly, when set to a task he cares about, he does not quit. Unfortunately, many of his goals are unresolved, but it does not mean that he will stop trying. If he were to, say, become romantically interested in someone, he would go to great lengths to connect with him, even if it meant doing things Aesop himself may not like. In specific circumstances, Aesop may find that he has a great capacity for nurturing and bringing out the best in other people, a talent Aesop himself undervalues. Though he’s not all that intelligent, Aesop is very reflective and existentially inquisitive, and thinks about a lot of big picture stuff that other people might push aside in an era of crisis. Though he may not understand science or the way the world works in a mechanical sense, he is awed by it, and is a great appreciator of natural beauty. He’d cry at a particularly beautiful sunrise, if he could cry. I’d say he could be described as having a romantic soul.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: To be honest, Aesop has trouble establishing empathy with people he doesn’t know very well, and so is less invested in Earth’s plight than he probably should be (it would not be hard for Dead Orbit to sway him to their views). This makes some people think that he doesn’t take his charge seriously, and they also usually assume that he’s a slacker because he’s plateaued in his abilities so early. Really, Aesop is acutely socially anxious, can have panic attacks in large crowds, and generally prefers to stay away from The City unless he needs to go there, and so has a big emotional disconnect from it. Calico and Chanticleer have tried to get him more accustomed to groups, but has been thusfar mostly unsuccessful. His insecurity and anxiety also cause him to pull odd, dangerous stunts to prove his worth, making him unreliable and impulsive. He can bungle social interactions rather spectacularly, and is easily goaded into doing really stupid shit. Really, he is a person who may just be “too much” for some.

How They Change: Oooooghhh….I can’t talk about this. I forgot how frustrating it is to not be able to talk about things because you’re going to make a comic out of it. Suffice it to say he’s gonna change a lot.

Why You Love Them: I think Aesop encapsulates a lot of anxieties I have post-college. Aesop is a person in transition who is unsure of his future, knowing only that he can’t quit now, because quitting means failure and failure means death. Because he is in transition, he is anxious about forming relationships with people, worried that either he will be left behind by them, or that they won’t like him when he’s “finished” becoming a person. I think he has a complex relationship with his personhood and sense of self. I dunno, I think that’s an interesting anxiety for a protagonist to have. I am also interested to see what Aesop will end up contributing to his society/organization and his interpersonal relationships, and if he’ll be happy with it. I’ve put a lot of work into him, the ‘original Aesop’ I had in mind might as well be a completely different character now. Aesop was originally a little cameo that I did in our TTRPG game, Godslaughter, because my boyfriend had put a dunmer cameo character into our game and I wanted to return the favor. Then he made a sheet for him. Then I decided to keep him around, then I decided to play Destiny 2, then I decided I loved it, lol. There is still a version of Aesop in the TTRPG but he is so incredibly different, they may as well be different characters. We refer to him as “Bad Aesop” but should probably call him something more dignified (we won’t).