#outside of work i talk to maybe 2 people on a regular basis and im fine with it honestly. idk if i should be concerned or. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

shyrose57 · 4 years ago

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Brothers anon. Sorry about the previous ask I get nervous easy and feel like I need to check im not annoying anyone at times. If I am ever annoying you though or you want me to do anything though please tell me!

Watson is close to everyone from the group, because he's seen as the dad figure and an easy person to talk too. Besides from that Jackie and Grievous are close and often train or play games together, and Jackie and Ran are close, they don't do much expect just hang out and since their both the youngest that helps them feel a bit closer. Ran and Grievous aren't really close, though Grievous wants to make attempts to become closer to Ran, potentially by inviting him to training sessions or game nights.

The other fighters from the Pit are still around! They mostly aren't around the Pit as they have jobs and other stuff to take care off, but they try to vist often. Like Genevieve and Levi come over on a regular basis to train with them all and just hang out. And sometimes Genevieve and Levi participate in the Pit's fights just for fun.

He was kept in a room in Mizu. The room was reminiscent of a jail cell, with no glass in it, and a door that required a key to be opened, he wasn't completely chained down but they did put cuffs on his wrists to prevent him from moving around to much. Benjamin honestly just kind of felt like something was off, because most people don't commit mass murder without a reason and he couldn't find a reason for Ranbob doing it. And he has reported multiple times (along with the others) feeling a strange weightless feeling near dreams room, almost like their getting sucked into a void, while also hearing a distant voice in their head calling them to come closer. When everyone said they heard the voice, with Ranbob even saying from where he was that he heard the voice but much clearer, and sometimes he feels like he doesn't control what he's doing. Benjamin and Isaac decided to block off the room and nearby rooms and made it a rule that if anyone heard the voice or felt like that to report it to them and where they felt it so ot could be blocked off.

Because Ranbob said he heard the voice too Benjamin started thinking that maybe Ranbob wasn't in control and there's something deeper going on. They specifically figure out its the mask when Charles finds it and brings it up to the group, where reports of the voices and feeling come back ten-fold, and even Ranbob who was starting to show progress and become a bit more willing to talk harshly backtracked to where he almost tried to attack anyone who came into the room. So Charles quickly puts it back as far from the group as possible, with Cletus following him to make sure he actually puts it back. Later they talk about destroying it but the question of what will happen to the possession on it stops them, as what if when they break it, the possession type thing (its not actually a possession I just forget the word oop), moves onto another object? Maybe even connect to them or Ranbob?

Ranbob does learn how to sew! Charles helps him learn actually and it helps the two get close! Cletus and Isaac are forbin as of now to return to Mizu, there are talks about going back later in time but for now everyone agreed it'd be best to hang back and avoid Mizu no matter what.

Life in the house is very hard to adjust to at first for Ranbob especially, its mostly awkward and learning boundaries. But after a few weeks to months living with the fishermen Ranbob becomes much more comfortable to open up a lot. Closest to Ranbob is definitely both Benjamin and Charles, as Benjamin is the one who recognized what was happening to Ranbob and Charles is the one who he spends most time with (mostly teaching Ranbob random skills).

Even after the fight ends Ran is still incredibly mad, and when Ranbob is so much as mentioned he growls and gets more aggravated. The fishermen are mostly surprised, Ranbob did mention there was a survivor that he remembers almost killing before they escaped, but because it seemed like a sensitive topic they never pressed him to tell them more. They never would've expected the survivor was his brother though. And the gladiators are completely surprised, expect Watson, Ran told Watson his past about Mizu and his brother (because I like to think Ran has night terrors due to Mizu and Watson is often the one to comfort him). Its only once Ranbob gets taken off to the medical bay and Ran goes to blow off steam in the training area the two sides talk. Where what they've been told is shared and connections and understandings are made. And they all manage to agree to try to get the brothers at least on talking terms, so they can talk about what happened and at least attempt to fix their relationship.

They are not! Other enderman hybrids do exist but their very rare due to complexity with passing the enderman genes. Though Ran and Ranbob did have a family of 6 they where apart of (the 2 other siblings where younger than them) but not every member had enderman genes.

They do notice how Jackie looks similar to Tubbo but they mostly just brush it off, as if Cletus takes off his head gear he looks like Quackity and of course Ranbob looks like Ranboo with the mix of black and white skin.

Hey, don’t worry about it, seriously. I do the same thing with people, so I kinda get it. I really do enjoy reading these, so really, I should be thanking you for sending them!

The bonds between everyone sound interesting. So Watson’s just generally the dad friend? How does he feel about that? Has he just unironically adopted all these dorks? Is it something of an inside joke? Jackie and Grievous sound like quite the combination. Honestly I can imagine these two either being very chill, or very chaotic, depending on the day. Ran and Jackie just hanging out sounds neat, what do they do together? Do they play games like Jackie does with Grievous, or do they just nap and cloud-watch, or something similar? And Grievous trying to bond with Ran sounds nice, how does that work out for him? Do they find some sort of activity that brings them closer?

I saw you mentioned Ran and Jackie were the youngest, which brings up two things. One, does the height difference remain? I’ve seen a lot of art depicting it as such, and honestly, the thought of some new fighters being tossed into a fight with these two, and A, seeing this short kid next to this ridiculously tall guy, and B, their expressions when being told Ran’s not an adult is very amusing to me.

And two, what exactly is the age limit for going into the Pit? It’s probably not incredibly young, but how old are Jackie and Ran to be stated as the youngest? In their early teens? Late? Older? What kind of rules are there in the fights, no deaths aside?

The other fighters still being around is pretty cool, how do they get along with the gladiators? I imagine fairly well, since you’ve said they hang out, but are they close with anyone is particular? And what exactly is the Pit, besides a tournament? Do people fight for money in there? Do they just fight to fight? Is it open to a lot of people?

So the fisherman hung around Mizu and talked to Ranbob? It must have been strange, seeing the change in their would-be murderer. It does bring up the question of how in control Ranbob was when he first met them. Was he relatively himself at the start, and only begin to fall more under Dream’s thrall later, or was he under it from the start? And how do the fishermen feel about this?

Actually, how young even is Ranbob? I believe you mentioned him to be Ran’s older(?) brother, but as previously said, Ran’s among the youngest of the gladiators, so how much older is Ranbob? How old was he when he was led to kill the residents of Mizu?

I believe the word you’re looking for is possibly spirit? I’m assuming? And yeah, pretty smart of them to get away from it. Do they ever end up dealing with that in the future, or is it a ‘let’s just agree to never go near that thing again.’ kinda deal?

Charles and Ranbob bonding! Very nice! What other skills does Charles have, and where’d he learn them? Actually, what’s the general backstory for the fishermen? Is it anything that could tie in later, or no?

But that adjustment period can’t be easy. As we saw, the fishermens’ house was pretty small, and for Ranbob, to go from literally being the only person there in a huge city, to such an arrangement, well. It can’t have been easy. How did it affect him, and how did the fishermen deal with it?

In relation, how did Ran deal with going from Mizu to outside it? I imagine the lifestyle was a bit different from what he was used to.

So the relationship isn’t so easily fixed, hm? Y’know, all things considered, that’s pretty fair. How do the two groups get along, once they’ve decided to get the two brothers back together? And what kind of plan do they come up with? Perhaps deciding to travel together? Or maybe stick around and fight more? How does that work out for them?

How does Ran feel about the brother that almost killed him being around his new family? And how does Ranbob feel about finding him again? Did he even think he was still kicking, or believe him to be dead?

So Endermen hybrids aren’t that common huh? Does that happen to be why Porkius was so interested in them? And are any of the fishermen or gladiators hybrids as well? Philza’s often shown with wings, and honestly, I’m curious to know if your AU’s Watson is a similar hybrid, or otherwise.

Also, how do the gladiators fight? Are there double battles and team ups? Is there anyone they fight better with? What’s their general strategy?

And how does Porkius feel about these new developments? Does he know? Help out, or let them sort it themselves? What’s going on with our resident king?

#dream smp #dream smp au #Brothers AU #tales from the smp #ranbob #cletus #isaac #charles #benjamin #jackie #ran #grievous #watson #porkius #the lost city of mizu #the pit

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gothicmisa · 5 years ago

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mikalight :)

hi alex ily im assuming you want. all of them. valid of u. ill be answering as if this was an au where theyre both prosecutors, not kira.1 - who is a morning person and who is a night person?mikami is extremely routine-oriented and wakes up at the same time early every morning. light hates mornings but he does most of his work in the mid-morning/early-afternoon, so not exactly either.2 - who is more romantic?light! light likes big gestures and grandiose displays of affection. he likes the attention. 3 - who goes out of their way to pick something up from the store just to surprise the other with their favorite thing?mikami likes to stop at the grocery store and get light little snacks!! light loves knowing that mikami was thinking abt him.4- who usually cooks?light is the better cook, but i think they cook together on occasion :-)5 - what’s their favorite way to spend time together?mikami and light are both very focused on their work and enjoy being productive. i think they both rlly enjoy just. working in the same room together. they talk a little or ramble about their latest cases while typing up documents or sending emails. they order ubereats and silently wonder if the other person is judging them for their choice of meal (light gets a salad and mikami gets a sandwich)6 - do they celebrate couples’ holidays? (valentines day, sweetest day, christmas in some cultures?)light doesn't like to admit it because he thinks it makes him look frivolous and shallow, but he secretly thinks couples holidays are wonderful. it takes mikami a while to figure out why light looks so disappointed every christmas when he doesn't go all out with some grand romantic gesture, but he does eventually and starts making an effort to get light little gifts. 7 - where did they meet?in university! they met in an upper-level ethics class where there was like. twelve students total. they were in a lot of prereqs together but never noticed each other-- light was too wrapped up in thinking he was too smart for the basic classes and that he should try to test out, mikami was taking extremely intense notes. 8 - who made the first move?light. absolutely. do you think mikami is capable of making a life-changing decision like that? light starts by flirting relentlessly and mikami stays up late at night googling things like "is it flirting when he plays with your hair?" 9 - who does the PDA and who gets embarrassed about it?i dont think either are very fond of pda-- its kind of inappropriate and unsightly in japanese culture to be all over your significant other in public. however, i do think light occasionally pats mikami on the butt. 10 - do they have pets?hmm. maybe if they moved in together they'd get a cat! i just like the idea of light having a cat ok11 - if they fight, what do they argue about?they share a lot of opinions on politics, ethics, and morality, but i think they butt heads pretty frequently. they both can be confrontational at times, what with mikami's unwavering opinions and light's tendency to think he can do no wrong. light polices mikami's tone on occasion. light gets prickly when mikami doesn't respond to him exactly the way light Thinks he should. mikami usually won't start a fight, but he can get frustrated with light when light wants to disrupt his routine in favor of doing some spontaneous activity.12 - who kills the bugs?light refuses to. mikami gently captures them and puts them outside. its inhumane to kill them! 13 - who steals all of the blankets at night?light. they actually have two different blankets on their shared bed now, which is for the best, anyway-- light prefers a thick comforter and mikami likes a thinner blanket.14 - who is cranky before their morning coffee?mikami is used to getting up at a certain time and he likes it that way, so he doesn't get cranky in the mornings. light tends to be a little more random with his sleep schedule (staying up late to finish his paperwork, researching specific cases for references at one in the morning, etc) and gets less sleep because of it. he's very cranky in the mornings. 15 - who is the gay who drives?they can both drive.16 - who gets jealous?light is a very jealous person. he gets very passive aggressive at times, which goes completely over mikami's head. 17 - who is the most patient?mikami. light likes to do the Most to hurry things along because he hates wasting his time. 18 - does one of them do most of the housework, or do they share the responsibilities?mikami does a lot of the cleaning, but they're both pretty organized people, so it isn't a lot. for some things, they split the chores-- if light cooks, mikami washes the dishes after, etc.19 - who is more uptight?mikami... 20 - who says “i love you” first?light says i love you first and mikami gets so flustered he says "thank you?"21 - who argues with the manager?light demands that his salad at the restaurant is free because he asked for reduced fat shredded cheese and they gave him regular cheddar. 22 - how does the other one respond while the first one argues with the manager?mikami just folds his hands and waits for light to be done before tipping the waiter generously for being so gracious throughout light's temper tantrum.23 - which one has improper knife safety and which one drives the other to the hospital?i don't think this applies to either of them, sorry!24 - what pizza toppings do each get and are they able to compromise?i love this question because i had to google "popular pizza toppings in japan" and was met with very exciting results. mikami is pretty tame when it comes to his pizza-- he prefers margherita pizza 100%, very simple, healthier than other choices, just slices of mozzarella, only a little bit of sauce, and basil. if they're ordering out, light just splits mikami's pizza with him, but light secretly likes mayonnaise, white corn, and grilled shrimp on his pizzas. guilty pleasures. 25 - who takes longer showers?light loves taking obscenely long showers and they're lucky mikami prefers to shower after he goes to the gym, otherwise their shower schedules would clash.26 - who takes the longest to get ready?light. he deliberates over every outfit. he has to look his best.27 - who is the most concerned about their appearance?light cares more on a day-to-day basis, but mikami gets worried about light being embarrassed to be seen with him, so he has a whole selection of outfits and suits just for the days they're going to be out in public together. 28 - how do they take care of each other when they’re sick?neither of them are incredibly doting, but light will go out of his way to pick up some soup for mikami, and mikami will dictate light's business emails as light verbally tells him exactly how to write them even though he called in to work that day.29 - where was their first date?i think the line between dating and not dating was a little blurry for them but it was probably something very low key. a coffee shop or a cafe. 30 - personal random headcanon?light is very amused by mikami. at first it was kind of mean, like, light just being entertained by this weirdo in his ethics class, but eventually light fell head over heels. light still loves to fluster him and finds his odd little habits and routines rather charming. mikami, several years into their relationship, is still shocked that someone like light is interested in him.

#i hope you liked this! i enjoyed writing these #mikalight #mikami teru #light yagami #long post #death note #death note headcanons #trepidatixn

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unproduciblesmackdown · 4 years ago

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let's do a classic Primez ask

thank you lol Prime Time is.....6 am is when im posting this, christ lol what else is new around here........Good Morning in advance lol and [rise and shine sailors it be monday]

2: Favorite book?

i don’t have one lol

3: Favorite fictional character?

i also don’t Properly have like, all-time ultimate Faves in these kind of categories either, but there’s still standouts at least lol......obviously lately it might show that i’m enjoying winston billions a lot, and natch that’s just One of the many wrol roles i’ve been glad to discover. natch winston, jared, and jeremy are fave raves amonth them

5: What’s your favorite fictional ship? (Canon or otherwise)

this is the same as the [fave fictional characters] thing in that like, sometimes i’ll Consume something where i don’t have any, and generally i’m out here multishipping and not like live or die by one Specific Pairing, if i like a character i’ll also probably like Many of their dynamic/s with various other characters, unless the options are That limited.......tying this in to the fave fictional character thing, re: winston, naturally tayston and benston, aka the fruits of us all combining our Genius, are top tier and here’s riawin where we don’t know for sure where it’s going but we’re getting some great Dynamic(tm) stuff anyways.....and natch re: jared i Enjoy Kleinsen (as something to make up ideas about that are outside canon and also as a perspective thru which to analyze canon) and re: jeremy.....stagedorks is beautiful, wild to have canon just give you some content that’s already as good as that

7: List 3 negative traits you have

well i can be fairly anxious about certain things, which is mostly negative for me lol.........a more negative 2-way street is that i’m just generally in defensive mode around people lol, often i’m like, just trying to avoid Attention entirely and/or like uh oh attention, gotta try to just avoid taking damage from it lol.......on a gradual journey to just being default More Unpleasant / less accommodating lmao......not that i can’t be sometimes, or that i can’t be Genuinely Friendly with randos coz i like their vibe and actually Like socializing lol.........and then re: the challenges of socializing, it seems like maybe when i’m in an interaction i get caught up in [uh oh how do i Respond a) at all b) in a way that’s Good(tm)] and it maybe makes me less attentive to the other person / a worse Listener smh

11: How do you decide when it’s time to cut someone out of your life for good?

idk luckily it’s not something i’ve had to do left and right lol.......but ime it’s Also not exactly like. usually a “ah Now Is The Time to have zero relationship with this person” and most often it’s like [gradual distancing period that is mostly passive] and/or just choosing Not to reinitiate any sort of relationship........though re: more active approaches lol it’s more like. time to try to tune into my [does this feel like something indefinitely sustainable / something you actually Want to have continue in any way] gauge or whatevs. and then still it’s like, sometimes easier if moments happen to come along that provide an [opt out?] choice presented to you kinda lol.........if it’s someone You don’t want to be involved with really but they don’t feel the same and it’s “on you” to decide to peace out at some point it’s more difficult coz such [do you want to opt out]-distilled Moments probably don’t seem to manifest but i think that’s a useful thing to be aware of in itself........i.e. that there’s not always going to be a Narrative-Friendly “point of no return” / clear Line Being Crossed and even if it Doesn’t feel like “i can’t / don’t want to deal with this for Literally one more day” that doesn’t mean you should totally stick it out / don’t have enough reason to decide that you are Done at this particular moment even if you haven’t been Done prior or think you plausibly hold off on it. don’t need to have some kind of story where you think if you Explained it to anyone or everyone it’d universally be understood and everything would applaud like “Yes, the Right Decision” lmao like. not their business....

13: What are your favorite lyrics currently?

well with our groupchat in the replies to that Eternally Crying Over The Bar Song post..........just enjoy the “stay here for a while / cuz it’s nice / cuz it’s holy” part of the refrain, a fun part of the music, and that classic iconis like, lyrics being in a sort of character Voice and yet getting the idea / feelings across effectively even when the words are sort of general or simple.......”shooting from the heart / but we’re all a lousy shot” is great lol and also “say you will always be here” ending with “for one more” is like, there’s another Broader Idea / Sentiment expressed so effectively :’|

17: If you could make a wish, what would you wish for if you knew it would come true?

i can’t do any fun answers lmao it’d just be like [political commentary] but that’s warranted lbr

19: How do you handle heartbreak? Is it something that’s easy for you to get over, or something you struggle with?

lmao i think it is like By Definition not easy for anyone to get over / Not struggle with.........can’t say i’ve had Romantic Misadventures exactly but uh yeah it feels bad to feel bad but i like......wait it out???? idk lmao you can’t really just timeskip past.....Heartbreak Sucks For Everyone Cuz That’s Kind Of The Whole Thing

23: What do you want your future to be like?

pandemic-less, fascism-less........i can’t say i’ve ever been someone like “yea i Know what i want to do and have this whole plan set out how i’m gonna do it lol” i remember when i was like 4 or 5 or whatever being asked What Do You Want To Do When You Grow Up and i was like “shit idk.......i like dinosaurs so i guess paleontologist??” and it was as much a mystery going forward.........always and still mostly playing things by ear with a few vague “if / then” type ideas......aren’t we all though ig

29: Do you think zodiac signs can influence someone’s personality to an extent?

what do i know but i Don’t like or respect the recent years trend ppl being way into it like this isn’t [being really serious about hogwarts houses] or Earnest Myer Briggs Types energy that everyone’s bringing to it......like what are you getting out of trying to be this Prescriptive based on when ppl’s parents got into it. meanwhile i’ve been on the edge of my seat since someone tweeted about “when will we get the first astrology discrimination lawsuit” re: a story about ppl wanting a housemate with a certain sign for compatibility reasons. and like again if it Is like “yes there are time-of-year Personality Types for Objective Real” like. okay, still, what is this Approach that ppl have....doing for anyone.....

31: What does ‘self care’ look like for you?

not very fancy lol i’ll be like “damn i think i haven’t eaten today” and then do it......or be like hey here i’m gonna Do A Stretch or some shit. walk around. step outside if it’s nice. both true that Self Care has inherent limitations re: like we can’t just cancel out all the detriments to our wellbeing via Personal Choices and yet also we can’t Not look out for ourselves how we can......i’ll watch something that i Enjoy. or just knock out if it’s like “christ i need a mood reset” or i’m trying to timeskip through a headache. pet a cat. i like to try to be Appreciative of everyday ordinary shit......also messing around Making Stuff whether drawings or otherwise can be a good helpful use of time, i like talking to people who i like talking to, and other stunning stuff like that lol

37: Have you ever been surprised by someone staying in your life?

not really lol coz again with how i’m pretty slow to realize that someone is like, nonzero actively interested in interacting with me on a regular basis, and then once someone’s In My Life there’s no particular point where i go “whoa....You’re still here??”......ig sometimes there’s like, Friendly Acquaintances where it’d be Unsurprising if they just sort of dropped fully out of the orbit but they do not

41: How do you show you care?

hmm i sure like to do ppl favors / give them gifts / help them out w/ whatever, hang out / generally be Around them where like, doing [parallel tasks] works i.e. maybe we’re doing different things but in the same room.....just like to Talk and all and listen to ppl and Learn Things About Them, try to pick up stuff re: ways that ppl express like “hey to me it conveys Being Cared About when ppl do ___”........food/cooking is a love language......that thing where shit you’d be way too anxious to do on your own For Yourself is like, oh i’m absolutely gonna do it on behalf of someone i care about.......all this stuff is more like, Possible in person lmao rip. i Care you guys

43: Which of the seven deadly sins do you feel represents you the most?

who is your hellsona and what is their origin story (how they got condemned to hell).........if i’m irritable / argumentative am i wrathful? you could presumably someone saying yep it is inherently the one deadly sin of lust if you’re queer.......at any given time i’m passed out and dreaming about “fuck capitalism and the protestant work ethic” and that’s sloth i guess. and okay i went “who named an animal after a The Deadly Sin as if it’s like ‘wow fuck this animal for choosing not to zoom around as though they could and i apparently think that they should’ tf” and in looking it up i immediately learned the Sloth Fact that apparently their shits are insane and also the most dangerous thing they do?? like they poop only maybe once a week and All At Once so that a single dump might knock off a third of their total weight........and it’s pretty much the only time they leave the upper branches of trees, in that they crawl down to hold on to the trunk and take this monster shit and naturally they’re not great on the ground so Pooping is like the leading cause of death for sloths in the wild. and i think they ought to be named after that.

47: What are you passionate about?

oh man [i am passionate a lot.mp3] lol.........always having a variety of Interestes which i like to talk about / potentially make things about.......decent amount of subjects i like to learn things about even if i’m bad at like, actually learning things generally lmao, what’s Not losing focus on shit.......idk it’s not that hard for me to like go off about Whatever, got these jack of all trades interests / areas of Some knowledge, i’m opinionated and probably have something (extensive) to say about anything as just part of my charm lol, and just in general i can get Enthused / worked up about things..........also passionate about various [niche gay shit] things eternally. whoms among us isn’t

#let's see if my genius plan of [lie down and try to nap and also try to wake up circa noon] works.....#employed that the other day Yet Also was like ''i Will finish this drawing today'' which entailed staying up till like 7-8am so.......

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piamii · 5 years ago

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Taking a mental health day from work today but was really conflicted about how to word it.

Last year I took a few mental health days but there were 6 of us so maybe it was less conspicuous

It’s only me this year and I for some reason keep feeling this push pull with my supervisor to be close and honest with her

Last night I was feeling ok about work. But after once again not sleeping properly I feel like somethings up with me

I’m feeling all the ways I used to feel about my mental health

Being small is not okay, it’s not okay to let go, I’m responsible for all of my clients progress and safety

Which is true in a way but

I also have beeen thinking about the difference between me and my supervisor

She’s the only person I see on a regular basis. Like I see her 4 times a week

So I don’t know how to be myself, a postdoc

I keep comparing myself to her

I wondered to myself would anyone else take a mental health day in my position?

Who cares, others aren’t me

It’s like I forgot I’m extremely sensitive and have been sobbing every day and not sleeping well at all during the weekdays

My nutrition and hydration and shit has been ok, so I’m not getting sick which is the weird part

Im so incredibly emotionally constipated

There are so many incredibly destructive thoughts in my head right now that haven’t been addressed

Things have just gotten increasingly harder for a long time now and I can’t tell where adjustment starts and my dysfunctional mental state ends

Is it really ok for me to say work is too much?

Does it make me pathetic?

Didn’t I feel this way in all previous years too?

2nd year, it wasn’t like this but at least I was more honest with myself about how anxious and nervous I was about work. I definitely took it easy and complained more often. I slept poorly frequently on clinical days and would feel really angry about it. I don’t think I got sick more than once that year

3rd year i wasn’t sleeping quite as poorly but still had sleep problems, hated my commute. That was the year I kind of had to start blocking people out of my life, like not completely but was so down and exhausted that I couldn’t function socially outside of work and school. I didn’t get sick much tho. Definitely noticed SAD symptoms starting this year but to be honest felt somewhat depressed on and off through early winter until spring which is I guess the colder darker months in OR. I think I had some SI but it was towards the end of winter

4th year was when I had more somatic issues. My sleep was honestly not bad that year comparatively speaking but when m and I broke up during internship application season I had a bunch of health issues that resolved shortly after my interviews ended. Tbh internship interviews were a nice reprieve from the dark slump that probably would have hit me if I had just done school in the winter. I had my first sinus infection in spring and went to see Slushii anyways Hahahha.

Internship year... I had a sinus infection too and got a cold maybe 2 other times. Last year was the most I’ve ever gotten sick. I took a mental health day maybe like 3 times and actually used sick days too. I want to say this was the hardest year for me mental health wise until this year in terms of symptoms but the best in terms of self care. By like April/May I was feeling really good about life. Maybe it’s the weather here too idk

This year feels so much harder than the other years combined. I’ve used one sick day and two mental health days and I’m having a hard time understanding where I’m at mental health wise in conjunction with who I need to be to do well at work. It feels like I’m growing at an unmanageable pace. I’ve had the most frequent SI I’ve ever had in my life which is somewhat alarming to me. I’m safe don’t worry but I’m just saying the thoughts coming into my head. My sleep is getting reallynfucked up over these last 2 weeks. I sleep like a baby on the weekends which makes me feel like it’s stress related. On one hand I’m acclimating to this insane amount of stress and on the other hand it feels like every day I’m being stretched open and carved out.

I’m not even ruminating that much before bed anymore. Like I’m not actively distressed like I used to be when things hit me hard last year. I’m just constantly unhappy and anxious this year which I feel like is my lot in life right now. My self care has gotten much better last year and this year, but this year it’s been harder to find ways to relax. Things went downhill really fast, when the seasons finally changed here and I started seeing 4 of my clients in the field. I am most definitely consistently working over 40 hrs a week now. I tried really hard last year to work less whenever I could and honestly the agency was pretty good about giving us a reasonable workload. But now it feels like I’m meeting the real world, where work just comes at you and never says sorry. You had to do extra and stay longer this week? Sucks for you. You have to completely uproot your already untenable schedule because one of your clients has really a really complex risk presentation? Welp that’s the price of doing this work.

Like when I was told the weeks here typically don’t go past 40 hrs I feel like I was lied to. I feel alone and singled out bc I’m the only postdoc this year. I want to know how C felt 2 years ago. If there were 2 of us I feel like I’d be having an okay time. Can you fucking believe they had a hard time building to full caseload last year? It cannot be just me in this position. I want to give up every day.

I don’t feel protected I don’t feel like I can ever let my guard down. There is no one I talk to regularly that I can be honest with. I don’t have the energy to relay this information to the people I do talk to regularly which at this point is my supervisor and M. And like hell im going to tell my supervisor this stuff.

Is this the real world?

Something tells me it is, but I have to find a way through it somehow

I’m still debating about this one client. She’s on my mind a lot and I’m scared which is probably a parallel experience to what her family is experiencing.

The fuck you mean our ethical duty? What am I supposed to take away from that convo? I know I have my own voice and opinion but that made me feel really bad for not doing exactly as you said. I know I tend towards the anxious paranoid side of things but that really scared me because instilll can’t think straight about this client and I sure as hell cant go to you.

The relationship between e and I has changed too, I think she’s overwhelmed too

Something that keeps popping up over and over again is- how fucking awful it would be for a client to complete suicide

I know it happens and it’s time I face that this could happen

It’s a terrifying thought and I almost don’t want to tell anyone that I’m having it

It feels shameful and dangerous to think about, because if I can’t handle it who could?

Who can contain this for me and tell me it’s okay? I don’t want to fucking hear that I should do more

It’s a complex mess of emotions inside my head. I understand why I would need to do more in this situation but there’s no room for it. I want help in trying to balance but my schedule is already unbalanced and bringing me into a dark place emotionally.

What if because I took today off no one sees my hospital patients all week?

Friday is going to suck ass if that’s the case

I could ask my supervisor directly to see them

But I want to be small today

And that would take a lot from me

How does the psychology service work at the hospital during Xmas break?

Uhhhh....

Shit.

I’m scared for some stupid reason that someone will make me stay during break or I’ll have to work some crazy stupid long hours on Friday

I hate ongoing patients bc they still need to be seen but it’s kind of your choice whether or not to see them

It’s like adding an automatic to do to the list every time I’m there but the task takes 2 hrs at least

I’m always scared I have to stay late at the hospital, luckily the latest has been 6:30 but I’m terrified every time I go in that it’s going to be longer

This is new for me and it’s ok to get freaked out

To not have a clear idea how much I am going to work each day and each week really puts me off

I feel pathetic because aren’t there a lot of jobs that are unpredictable like that? Especially once you become salaried ?

My stomach is starting to hurt

It’s weird because I haven’t gotten any somatic symptoms this year but I’ve also been sobbing my eyes out every day so maybe that’s why my body is feeling okay. I haven’t really cried the last few days because I’m just very tired of crying at this point, so maybe that’s why my stomach has been hurting a bit more

Every time m says something nice to me, hell anytime anyone says something nice to me I start to cry and I’m just so fucking done with crying and feeling out of control just to have nothing change and things even get harder at work

Fuck!!!!!

I haven’t properly dealt with this terrified feeling

I have to tell myself this feeling is informative but separate from reality

I’m so fucking scared.

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essiefreds · 6 years ago

Photo

… so… this may or may not be a thing? We’re gonna see how people respond to it, I guess, and then maybe it’ll continue as a series?

I don’t expect it to go well, because uh, I don’t have any idea how to write Steve Rogers as a character, and I feel as though there are some topics that could arise in this series that I might not know how to handle, so…

(It’s a thing):

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22

Word Count: 2147

Tagged (if you’d like to be added to this list, btw, just send me a message and let me know!): @hotemotionalmess

“We need you to talk to him.“

You blinked at Nick Fury. Not only had you never been addressed directly by the head of SHIELD, you had never been in the same room as him. Now, here he was, standing in front of you, his arms hanging by his side, and a sincere expression on his face.

"Uh… wait,” you said, deciding that it made sense to clear up this request he was bestowing on you before simply agreeing. After all, just because he was Director Fury didn’t mean that you were going to do everything he said.

Especially something like this.

“So… you want me to… befriend the man who has been trapped in ice for seventy years, in the hopes that… what? He’ll… decide to join society?"

Fury lifted his shoulders. "Basically.”

“And why me?” you queried, frowning.

“You have a way,” Fury said, as though that answered your question in the slightest. “Anyway, the sooner you can figure it out, the better, because we need him to, uh, not consider anything other than rejoining society.”

You did not have to ask him to elaborate on what he meant by that. Your experience with war veterans gave you a pretty solid understanding on the euphemisms of suicide.

“All right,” you said, carefully, “but… if I don’t manage to get him to like me, then what?"

"Well, we’re not incredibly worried about him,” the Director of SHIELD responded, “but we know that he must feel very lonely, and rather helpless. We’re not positive that he’ll accept you as a friend, but we also don’t think he’ll flat-out deny someone wanting to help him integrate back into society.” He offered you an expression that might have been reassuring, had he been anyone other than Nick Fury. “You’ll do fine.”

Again, he hadn’t answered your question, but hey, what were you supposed to do about it? He was your boss, after all.

You’d joined SHIELD after an invitation had reached you in your tiny apartment in New York, which you rented through the funding you received from your job at the hospital as a receptionist. Although no one had ever told you how they’d figured out who you were, and what you did, you thought that you’d adjusted well to your position in SHIELD. Handling panicking people was something you were good at, and, more often than not, there was a panicking person, or group of people, for you to deal with on a regular basis.

Aside from that, however, you were also extremely good at helping people who’d been through hell and had somehow gotten out of it, only to continue to be faced with it in their daily lives through nightmares and panic attacks. It was a skill you’d developed through extreme sensitivity that your mother often called psychic, and through your work with war veterans that passed through the hospital. You’d also created a group for them, at the nearby retirement community, where many were spending the remainder of their lives.

It was because of this, you supposed, that Nick Fury had approached you to help with Steve Rogers, who’d recently been unearthed like a fossil or something. Although you’d never been one to read comic books, you knew who he was, who he had been, at any rate.

You did not ask, but you wondered if Director Fury hoped to bring back who Steve Rogers had been, although for what purpose, you did not know. A back-up plan, in case aliens tried to take over the Earth, or something.

Even with your experience, however, you did not have any idea how to handle a ninety-year-old man who looked and had the physicality of a twenty-year-old, especially one who had at one moment been in the 1940’s, and in the next had been thrown into the 21st century.

It was going to be something new.

“He’s been living in a facility that we’ve created to model the 1940’s,” Fury told you as he led you down one of the many hallways of one of the buildings that SHIELD owned. “We meant for it to help him adjust to what’s happened, but I don’t know how well it’s worked."

"Right,” you said. Your mind was reeling. You’d put yourself into the shoes of many victims of trauma, but never before had you had to help someone who had been asleep for seventy years adjust to the new life that they were suddenly faced with. So much had changed since the ‘40’s, so many things, in fact, that you doubted you’d be able to think of them all, in order to help him adjust.

Again, you weren’t positive that this was going to go well.

It was too late, however, to back out. Fury would not have come to you, specifically, if he did not think you had at least some chance of making this work.

You supposed that out of many of your coworkers, you did have the best chance.

Still.

Director Fury paused outside a door down a bland hallway, and nodded to it. “We’ve had people check on him every hour or so since he defrosted, but he hasn’t been the most responsive to them,” he said. “So, first thing’s first -”

“Get him to respond to me,” you concluded. Fury dipped his head. You exhaled, and faced the door. “Sure. I can do this.”

“Good attitude,” Fury praised, and then he patted you on the shoulder. “And good luck.”

You nodded, and listened as he walked away. He did not leave the hallway entirely, you noticed.

After taking a moment to center yourself, to calm your thoughts, you lifted your fist, and knocked politely on the door.

You were incredibly surprised when, after a minute, it opened from the other side.

Holy shit this man’s arms are the size of tree trunks.

So, needless to say, your first impression of Captain Steve Rogers was probably not the most profound.

Luckily, you were good at pulling yourself together, and you quickly held out your hand towards the gorgeous figure that had opened the door.

“Hello, Captain Rogers,” you said, offering a smile. “My name is Y/N.”

The moment you knew that helping Steve Rogers would be a wonderful experience was when he shook your hand, and said, “Pleasure to meet you, ma'am.”

You were almost positive you stood there, holding his hand and blinking at him like an idiot for at least two minutes, but he did not seem bothered. In fact, if anything, he seemed amused, especially when you finally realized that it was time to let go of his hand, and quickly dropped your own to your side.

“I just… I’d heard that you were… well, here, and I wanted to know how you’re doing,” you said, hoping that you didn’t sound too much like you were stammering. “I mean, I don’t have any clue what it must be like for you, obviously, but I’d like to understand, so that I can help you in anyway I can.”

Captain Rogers’s amused expression faded, and he tilted his head, moving slightly so that he blocked the entrance way to his living space. “You don’t need to lie to me, ma'am,” he said, and you furrowed your brows, slightly. “I know that I’ve been causing troubles for the nice people of SHIELD, and that they want me to get a move on with reentering the world. It doesn’t need to be sugar coated for me.”

Okay. So, he understands that he needs to reinsert himself. That’s a good start.

“That’s true,” you said, calmly smiling once more, “but, like I said, I’m here to help you with that. I’m not just another person who’s been sent to check on you, make sure you’re trying. I’m here to help you try.” You paused, and then tilted your head, mimicking him. “Could I come in?"

When he did not reply, immediately, you gestured down the hall. "Or you could come out, instead. We could go get something to eat?"

"No,” he said, almost immediately, and you lifted an eyebrow. “Here’s fine. Come in, please.” He stepped out of the way of the door, and you sidled past him into the living space on the other side, already knowing that you had plenty of work to do.

The living space was the same size of a small apartment. In fact, it was bigger than the apartment that you’d been living in, actually. There was a bedroom, with a bathroom attached, and a small kitchen that was in the same space a a living room of sorts. Looking at the furniture, including the TV and kitchen appliances, you saw that SHIELD had done everything it could to give Captain Rogers a 1940’s feel.

The TV was a boxy, clunky thing. Next to the ragged looking couch was a square side table, on which sat a boxy radio. The lamp in the corner of the room had a very ugly shade on it. The carpet was atrocious, as was the tile in the kitchen. The appliances themselves were green.

“They wanted it to feel like I was at home,” Captain Rogers said from behind you, seeing that you’d paused to take everything in. “It was nice of them."

"Yeah, definitely,” you agreed, turning to watch him as he entered the kitchen, and opened the outdated fridge. You were honestly surprised that these things worked. He looked at you.

“Would you like some water? It’s all I have."

"Sure,” you said. “Thank you.”

You moved to sit down on the couch, and winced as a stray spring immediately dug up into your ass cheek. They couldn’t have given him at least a slightly comfortable couch? The radio was on, although it was only buzzing, softly; no music came from its single speaker.

When Captain Rogers joined you, holding a glass of water, you nodded towards the radio, taking the glass from him. “No music?"

He managed a small smile, one that looked almost sheepish. "I don’t really like the music that you have here,” he explained.

“Oh,” you said. Obviously. “But, you like background noise?"

"Sorry.” He immediately moved to turn the radio off, with the same ease you’d use to turn off a cell phone. “I just - it’s something that’s at least sort of similar to how the radio was. Static.”

You took a sip of your water, wondering how hard it would be to find a record player and some vinyls with ‘40’s music on them. After a period of time, you realized that Captain Rogers had not joined you on the couch, and you looked up at him.

“Are you… not sitting down for a reason?"

He let out a chuckle that sounded a bit forced. "It’s a small sofa,” he said, gesturing to it.

Confused, but deciding to let him do what was most comfortable, you set the glass of water down on the table that the radio sat on, and looked at him. “So,” you began, “talk to me, Captain."

"About what, ma'am?"

"About you,” you said, gesturing. You smiled. “And I don’t mean Captain America. I mean you. Who is Steven Rogers? What was his life like?"

For a moment, he was silent, and you wondered, briefly, if he didn’t quite understand why you wanted to know about him.

Before you could say anything else, however, he spoke: "Was."

You frowned, a little. "Was?"

"You said, "What was his life like?”,“ he explained, his eyes trained on the floor. "Everyone else always talks in the present tense."

You forced your shoulders to relax. This wasn’t going the way you’d hoped it would, so far, but you decided to just… stick with it. "Well, there’s really no sense in living in the past, is there?” you asked him. “I mean, you’re here now, and although there’s plenty of things from your old life that you can keep with you, and you can even be the same Steve Rogers that you were… there’s also things that you’re going to have to accept, and the fact that you’re in the 21st century is one of them."

His gaze lifted, and met yours. God, his eyes were blue. "Easier said than done, don’t you think?"

"Most things are,” you replied, easily. “And besides, you don’t have to do it alone, now.” You grinned at him. “I’m here to help.”

A moment of silence passed. For a scarily long second, you thought that maybe he was going to tell you to leave.

Instead, he smiled back. “It is always easier doing something with a little help,” he admitted. “That’s something I’ve come to learn, anyway.”

You relaxed for real, this time. ��Good,” you said. “Glad we can agree on that, at least.” You crossed your legs at the knee. “So, Captain -” you started, again. “What was your life like?”

#drabble #steve rogers drabble #marvel drabble #step by step #writing #steve rogers #nick fury #marvel #i don't know if this is actually gonna happen but #tentative #steve rogers x reader #reader x steve rogers #history has its eyes on queue

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transfagged · 7 years ago

Note

all 92 😘

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?no way man she’d probably dom the fuck out of me

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?nope.

3. Have you taken someones virginity?n o p e

4. Is trust a big issue for you?YEAH

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?like in terms of romantic??? no. like in terms of “we have a really weird relationship and idfk how i feel @ you”? yeah.

6. What are you excited for?april 19th!!! my friend and i are going to go see phoebe bridgers in madison!!!!

7. What happened tonight?its 10am so ill roll with last night: i played nv and got killed in a beautiful cacophony of deathclaws and the legion :) and then my game crashed.

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?no bc id be right there with them

9. Is confidence cute?very

10. What is the last beverage you had?i think some water? okay not the last but: hot water is so good with wildflower honey pls just drink some its good for your soul okay???

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?opposite is bullshit but i guess like,, 3? half my friends are nonbinary so counting EVERYONE regardless of gender and shit id say 6 people

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?im a proud supporter of boys in skinny jeans and i own 2 or 3 pairs

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?my main ho @thebonerfoy is coming up to visit me and were probably gonna pack all my shit in her car and play cards against humanity

14. What are you going to spend money on next? lmao probably my student loans. unless i can get the hours i asked for at work or a sugar daddy, then im gonna buy a proper lid for my fishtank bc my poor kid has a piece of cardboard rn.

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?no

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?yeah. even in a state of stagnation were changing somehow.

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?probably amanda, but im working on trying to be better with everyone

18. The last time you felt broken?my dude, im broken right now. its okay though. like i said, im working on it. were all fckn broken somehow.

19. Have you had sex today?not unless a ghost and i got in on in my sleep. which would be pretty cool ngl

20. Are you starting to realize anything?on a deep level: i deserve respect and a lot of my issues relate directly to my upbringing, including my inability to receive praise or speak well of myselfon a not-deep level: kinda hungry.

21. Are you in a good mood?i think i just heard fedex or ups outside so my mood just skyrocketed

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?maybe like. nurse sharks. theyre really cute.

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?yeah

24. What do you want right this second?to take a day to go into the city with all my friends that i cant see on a regular basis

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?probably be upset unless we discussed it beforehand. then id be fckn cheering for them like you go get some!!!! do it man!!!! in general tho: if i wasnt with them and they didnt show interest in me and showed interest in someone else id just move tf on.

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?half of it is bc my roots are growing out

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?no. too boring.

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?okay so i went to renew my library books and one of my favorite youtubers is on the library website dressed as one of his characters and i completely flipped because i watch his gaming channel and now hes interviewing authors for my library??? he doesnt even live in my town!! hes in madison!!

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?no? im enjoying my solitude atm

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?depends on the person

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?no! hes my friend and gives really good advice!

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?i think so. i mean, were kind of a thing.

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?yeah.

34. Listening to?killer - phoebe bridgers

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?only if im doing a rough journal spread, which i dont normally do

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?hes probably in class right now.

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?love at first sight? no. some sort of mutual infatuation/attraction? yes.

38. Who did you last call?my mom

39. Who was the last person you danced with?dancing with as in both dancing at the same time? probably amanda or my mom.

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?we were dating and he was cute lmao

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? a couple months ago?

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?no bc she leaves for work before i wake up

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?constantly.

44. Do you tan in the nude?lmao no.

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?no. as previously stated, i liked the guy and he was cute. why would i take that back?

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?yeah

47. Who was the last person to call you?my mom

48. Do you sing in the shower?sometimes

49. Do you dance in the car?yEAH

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?yes i love my bow :’) its so good and wow i love archery

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?picture day junior year of highschool, and if that doesnt count: my mother took me in at jcp to have pictures taken when i graduated 8th grade and theyre awful bc my hair is so long and its so not me

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?excuse me, how dare you,, in this house we ask for war and peace for christmas because npgc1812 is so good and then get addicted to ghost quartet (@ anyone reading this: pls listen to ghost quartet it is so so so good)

53. Is Christmas stressful?depends on the year, but i hope in the future i can spend it with my friends :)

54. Ever eat a pierogi?i just had some last night for dinner and im probably going to eat the leftovers in a couple minutes. also, my mother is polish and we see her family for holidays, so yeah. lots of pierogi in this house.

update: i got the leftovers

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?idk??? apple? im basic okay i dont eat pie

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?1. teacher2. ballerina3. both 1 & 2, simultaneously4. paleontologist5. archaeologist6. both 4 & 5, simultaneously7. librarian8. game designer9. author/illustrator

57. Do you believe in ghosts?yeah

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?almost daily

59. Take a vitamin daily?im supposed to ;) vitamin d deficiency like a real champ

60. Wear slippers?real talk i never liked slippers but then i bought these cute pig slippers @ walmart for $10 and i love them so much i tried wearing them to sleep last night. also im wearing them rn theyre so cute

61. Wear a bath robe?i live in a dorm, so yeah. to the bathroom and back when i take a shower. sometimes im lazy and i just run around in a towel but so do half the people on my side of the hall lmao were all lazy and dead inside

62. What do you wear to bed?fluffy pajama pants or sweats, tshirt or hoodie, socks, sometimes slippers.. once i fell asleep with a beanie on. when im being an Adult i wear my actual pajamas!!! like a legit shirt and pants that match

63. First concert?none that i was old enough to remember :’) apparently my mom took me to the rodeo when we lived in texas and saw some country group but i was like 2 so idfk

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?TARGET I AM A CERTIFIED TARGET GAY

65. Nike or Adidas?adidas bc my feet are too wide to fit in nikes

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?yall real talk i used to love cheetos but i think im allergic to them now? last time i had them my throat got all swollen and hurt for like 3 days so im gonna have to say fritos. plus theyre really good if you put them in chili

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?sunflower seeds bc im a slut for anything i can have a spitting contest with

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?lmao i used to like her when i was like. 11. not my scene anymore

69. Ever take dance lessons?i dont think so?

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?anything that makes them happy, but also something fun!!!! like wedding photographer or a baker or maybe zookeeper?

71. Can you curl your tongue?idk??? kinda????? i can tie a cherry stem so i want to say yes.

72. Ever won a spelling bee?no i always got out bc my anxiety made me stutter/rush and miss letters, so i never even got past the classroom levels to the real thing

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?a lot!!! i laugh so hard i cry and get a stomach ache more than id like to admit

74. What is your favorite book?eleanor & park by rainbow rowell :) OR alice’s adventures in wonderland by lewis caroll

75. Do you study better with or without music?depends on if i can get into hyperfocus mode or not. if not, then i pick one song and put it on loop and blast it until it fades and is just loud background noise, but if i can focus then silence is best

76. Regularly burn incense?i used to but no burning anything in the dorms :( then i came home for break and it started giving me a headache

77. Ever been in love?i think so

78. Who would you like to see in concert?kesha, against me!, my chemical romance (rip), bigbang (also rip)

79. What was the last concert you saw?the one i mentioned earlier @ a rodeo

80. Hot tea or cold tea?hot tea

81. Tea or coffee?i live on coffee but i love tea too so both

82. Favorite type of cookie?mmm snickerdoodle. or just sugar cookies. chocolate chip is good when theyre hot and melty but not as good when theyre cold

83. Can you swim well?yeah! i love swimming!

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?yeah?

85. Are you patient?hahahahahahhahahahhahahhaa

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?oo. oooooo. okay so dj would have more variety of music but im a sucker for live music??? idk i feel like a band would be more memorable, but what if they fuck up your favorite song??? but what if they make it more special???????

87. Ever won a contest?yeah! i won an art contest once and got my drawing printed on christmas cards for a nonprofit that did things for cancer patients!

88. Ever have plastic surgery?im 17 i dont have that kind of money

89. Which are better black or green olives?depends on what theyre in?

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?good. live your life fuck the rules

91. Best room for a fireplace?bedroom!!! i love fireplaces in bedrooms its such a Look

92. Do you want to get married?idk. if it happens then it happens. im not planning on it though.

#tia-freyre #asks

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atlantisaurum · 8 years ago

Text

Mothers

the “keep reading” sign is for those who have issues with their mothers and for those with emotionally and physically abusive mothers and families in general

Why I Hate My Mother (1)

I’m 19 now and I’ve finally come to the point to where I think that my mother is no use, no love, no friend, no anything to me.

I remember when I was around the age of 6 or 7 that I proposed to my mother daily, asking her if she’d like to marry me. She always said yes and I always gave her a kiss on the lips afterwards. We’ve been holding hands and cuddling and I felt sort of loved. That image began to crack when things around our flat began to vanish, including sweets, money and cigarettes. My sister was and is just like my mother: has her own view of reality, has her own definition of truth and lies, has her mouth open whenever she can interact in any way with other human beings even though no one’s really interested in what she’s saying. Nonsense about unintellectual topics and unflattering stories of her life. They look alike, they have the same body type, people never had the intention to ask whether my sister was my mother’s daughter because she was a double of her younger self and really was just a copy. Whereas when it came to, people wouldn’t recognise my mother in me or me in my mother. I was the perfect copy of my father. Same mouth, same stature, same gestures, same body type, same habits, same soul. I dare say that I used to be a very protective kind of kid and sister. Throughout the last couple of years I asked my mothers and fathers family about details of my childhood, for I couldn’t really remember anything of it. They’ve been telling me that I helped out old ladies who forgot how to hold a fork properly, how to eat spaghetti the right way. My father and grandmother told me, when we, my sister and I, were younger that I always was protective of her, caring for her, making sure that she wouldn’t be left behind when it came to presents or money or attention or anything at all. On the other hand, she always wanted everything for her. Things started to vanish and my mother accused me of stealing for YEARS. The first thing that disappeared was money from my aunt’s purse. The evidences were clear: I’ve been up in the flat to get a working tool for my mother and aunt who were working in the cellar. Hours later my aunt noticed that five Euros were missing. I was accused and had to give her my hard saved money. Five Euros was a lot of money for a 7 year old girl. Years went by and bigger sums of money vanished, cigarettes were the next big thing to disappear in our home. As always, I was accused and punished. My mother once hit me in the face and on the hand. Years later she told me that it actually hurt her, that I didn’t cry when he hit me. I mean, sure, it hurt, but I didn’t deserve it and she wouldn’t had deserved tears from an innocent human being. My sister is only 11 months older than me, means when she got into 5th grade, I was still in the fourth grade and finally had a friend to play and laugh with. It’s more or less useless to say that I’ve always been a misfit. Continuing our school lives, my mother had an outside job and came home only after 6 in the evening, meaning I had to deal with my sister and her smoking friends for five hours before my mother came home and not wanting to talk or listen or protect. My sister’s friends bullied me just like my sister did. They smoked together, stole my mother’s cigarettes together and hit me together, but my mother wouldn’t listen. It was totally clear to her that if her favourite child said that I stole the thing that I really must had stolen them in first place. At around a became depressed, suicidal and anorexic. My mother only ever noticed when she caught me caring for my freshly cut cut. Her reaction was to scream: “OY, LISA! Your sister is a CUTTER! Post it on Facebook!!!!” That I was anorexic and bulimic was still a secret whatsoever. I came home from school nearly every day, binging, purging and cutting myself, not to speak of the panic attacks and the crying. At some point my mother decided to make an appointment with a psychologist, which ended up to be the most stupid idea ever. I had to go there on a regular basis and had to tell her what was going on in my mind. I went there for two months or something and then cancelled the treatment because that woman was an incompetent piece of shit. In that time I had two appointments there with my mother and my mother told her, that she couldn’t bear me anymore and was thinking about sending me to a kids shelter because I was such a heavy burden to her or whatever she said. She wanted to get rid of me, that all I can remember. At one point she came to me saying: “People care about you. They don’t tell you, but they do.” And I asked who would give a shit about me anyway. It took me an hour or something to make her tell me that my father “hacked into my facebook account and read all my messages”. I quit contact and didn’t talk to him for a year. Right now, I live at my father’s house and get the love that I deserve (somehow at least). My mother always had her own reality and somehow forgot to tell me that my father didn’t hacked into my accounts but had the passwords saved on his tablet from our holiday in Croatia and my mother dared him to tell her what I writing, whom I was writing and which websites I visited. Furthermore my father told me that my mother once called him to tell her how she could destroy my laptop without making it seem like she actually manipulated it.

After a year of silence, I contacted my father asking if I could stay a few days because I was left home alone with my sister, who hit me or screamed at me whenever I left my room, ate all of my things, destroyed my room and all in all just tortured me whenever my mother wasn’t in sight. So I left with a few things and was at my dad’s for a week. He and his wife had planned a vacation in Croatia again and I asked if I could come with them. They said yes and so I went home to my sister once again, collected clothes, books and everything else that I needed for the vacation, said goodbye to my only friend, my cat and left. A few days into the vacation my mother messaged me that my cat “ran away” after the new dog arrived. At that point I decided to move to my dad. I cried for weeks, I had nightmares. First she took my freedom, then she took my best friend and then she took my trust by lying to me over and over again, telling me that they had hung up “missing cat” signs but I didn’t see any around the city, telling me he ran away, telling me that if I stepped through that door, that I wouldn’t be her daughter anymore, screaming at me for being an alcoholic that I clearly not was or am, accusing my father of taking me away from her and accusing me of not wanting any help when I was suicidal. GODDAMN, I told her, I wouldn’t have wanted HER help because she was and is the most hypocritical human in the whole world.

After nine months I messaged her that we could maybe meet up and talk about everything. Before I left, I called her, saying that im moving out but that it not a goodbye or anything. It was just for me to live in a better environment and to get away from that toxic family. She said i could just leave. I waited anyway until she came back from work to explain but all i’d got was shouting and screaming and everything that i knew she was always thinking but never dared to say.

I cried that day. I took a bath at 1am when i was finally done putting things in the right place at my new home.

“I could never love my child as much as i love this dog”; was one of the things she told me when we met again for the first time. “No, i didn’t cry, why would i, your bastard of a father has his beast of kid and i have MY child at home, your sister.” I asked her if she could remember anything she told me the day i left. She denied remembering anything and lied by saying so.

Every time we met since i moved out, she felt like saying something horrible about me, my father or my fathers and my family. At some point when we met up at her flat, my sister was there as well and both of them insulted my family. I left minutes later, telling my mother that i was sick of hearing her accusing and offending my family. I didn’t see her for two months then.

Coming to the end of this relationship: on my last birthday, we had dinner together: her, her husband, my boyfriend and me. She didnt had a present or anything. I got horribly drunk that evening.

Why I Hate My Mother:

I hate her because she never told me the truth about anything I hate her because she took away my best friend and lied about his vanishing I hate her because she secretly hated me for looking like my father and neglected me because of that I hate her because she never asked me how my day was even though i asked her every day I hate her because she always accused me of everything and not seeing the truth I hate her because she loved my sister more than me and had no shame showing it, but not the balls to say so I hate her because she said she cared even though it was just herself she cared about I hate her because she destroyed the part of me, that used to be happy without a reason by planting pessimistic thoughts into my consciousness and mind

It is okay to hate you mother and you don’t have to feel bad about it. Just because she decided to give life to you, doesn’t mean that you have to be eternally grateful for doing so. You are your own person and not your mothers emotional slave. I realised that way too late.

______________________________________________________________

(2)

“Growing apart, it comes with growing older. It’s harder than ever.“

Time spent together, memories we think we share, twisted and unreal. Miles and miles away the moments filled with true love, it seems to me. Those, suffocated by hatred and depression, sucidical thoughts and lies lay just right behind me, I can still touch them - if I’d wanted to.

I’m leaving your ghost behind me, at leasts thats’s what I think I’m doing.>

Your voice, your judgement, all your altered realities are always with me, in my head, in my soul, in my blood and DNA.

Ghosts have always and will forever be a steady companion of mine. Ghosts screaming names at me, names that do not define me and (actually) never did, yet they manifested themselves in my mind and maintained a constant part of my own, twisted reality. Ghosts that hit me, beat me, scratch my face and heart the same time. Ghosts saying all the wrong things to and about me.

They all have different faces, but all of them are trying to crack my spine.

How am i supposed to breathe with all these voices trying to strangle me and choke me.

Dreams as real and vivid as they could possibly be. Dreams carrying feelings and emotions, sensations and horrible tastes over to my body, waking up, screaming and crying. Dreams that throw me back to the past, telling me: get over it! Dreams showing me burned bodies, burned relationships and a burned image of myself that I left dying on the ground when you told me: When you walk through that door, you won’t be my daughter anymore.

So I left.

Left all my things, my role as mother’s daughter, as punchingball for her and a sister. Left, trying to abandon my crippling depressed, self-harming, suicidal and anorexic self, my self. Left, hearing you scream after me, calling me coward, hating me all the same for every word I ever spoke and every opinion I ever had, hating me for not being like you, for not being the way you wanted me to be.

All I ever wanted was your love.

But it always seemed like you were so keen on not giving it to me because I looked too much like the man that made me, that cheated on you, that covers all of my face and made me resemble all the hate that you felt for him in me.

For the first time in nearly 20 years I screamed: I hate you.

It was just in my dream, seeing you again, hearing you imosting all of my ghosts together in one, watching you tearing all of me and my stuff apart.

I hate you.

For all the right reasons that, in fact, shouldn't exists, shouldn’t be a goddamn thing to anybody.

There is no other explainatin that that you made me hate you because your pride was and is and will for all eternity be bigger than you heart and the love inside of it.

__________________________________________________________

(3)

Dear Mother, why is it that I cannot remember anything concerning my childhood? Why can i remember that you had a hitman to a friend, whose name was Merkel, but not why my father had taked topless photos of when I was around six after you threw him out of the flat and at a time when he couldn’t even save his own life?Why do I know how all of your angles where positioned but not why you never trusted me? Why don’t I know any of the stories that you or my father, grandmother or any other person who knows me told me? Why dont I know what I did all of my life? 19 years isn’t a awfully long life but its heavy on ones shoulders when you can only remember about five years of it.

The only things that really ever stay are those photographs that never really fade. Memories are replaceable - with those that someone told you to have without even remembering what really happened. A childhood shaped by memoried and opinions of a mother, who is more of a sadistic member of the society of life and a reality-creator and -monger. A revolt against my opinions, my eyes and my whole sensible perception. How am I supposed to find a way out of this?

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undeadpsycho13 · 8 years ago

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a cup of coffee to warm my icy heart

AHHHHHH GUYS LOOK IM SO SO SO SORRRRRRYYYYYY I SWEAR I HAD THIS FINISHED LAST FRIDAY I JUST FORGOT IM SORRRRYYYYY

i know this chapter is one week overdue, and i hope u guys can forgive me. i swear i had it done ages ago, just forgot to post it. also, its more than twice the length of the first chapter, if that makes up for anything.

thank you to @puzzle-of-life-reason-for-death for the reminder, this chapter is for you!! :D

btw, some chinese swear words are involved, and the translations are at the bottom. if u dont like them, rlly sorry, i just thought it might be fun, cause you know, both baits and an speak chinese canon, and so do i, so why not?

tell me if u dont like it, i wont include them in the next chapter

otherwise, enjoy~~ ^_~

CHAPTER 2: JUST A TINY PART OF ME (FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU)

The second time was not so much of an accident, but oh well, not-accidents happen all the time, don’t they?

The annoying door ringing speaker thing once again announced Baitsakhan’s appearance at Endgame. A very pissed Baitsakhan. A very pissed Baitsakhan who had not had coffee in the last three days and was currently dying of lack of caffeine in his bloodstream. Red Bull was a poor substitute; he needed freaking coffee. The darker, the better. The scene from last week flashed back in his face, and Baitsakhan cringed a little on the inside. He was not willing to make a fool of himself again.

He had surprised both his sister and An by staying away from coffee for four days, and then couldn’t help but get some coffee from The Starbucks. At least he had figured out the barista’s name. Hilal Ibn Isa Al-Salt. He was awful proud of his memory; who on earth had long-ass names like that? For once, he was appreciative of his unique, surname-less name.

But the Al-Salt guy’s infuriating niceness had gotten the better of him, and he had once again scared Baitsakhan away with a honey-bee-pesticide-banning petition. Who cares whether bees died? Screw them.

The absence of a sufficient amount of caffeine, however, was not his only problem. The Phone Guy (as baitsakhan had deemed him) had texted him back, albeit the dire-sounding warning, with a outrageous reply of, omg so sry got the wrong # D: rlly rlly sry :(. And then, of all the emojis he could have typed, he chose the freaking <3.

Needless to say, Baitsakhan was pissed. No one, no one the whole damn world, was allowed to send him a heart emoji (save Sarangerel and An’s incredibly sweet girlfriend Chiyoko, but that as different), and yet this complete stranger had taken it upon himself (or herself, he added as an afterthought) to send him one. This was an outrage. He would not dignify this text with an answer, he thought to himself.

So, naturally, he just had to go to that nice coffee shop to calm himself down. Just had to. And it had nothing to do with wanting to the hot barista. Absolutely nothing.

Seating himself at the table closest to the window, he took out his phone, absent-mindedly scrolling through his playlist.

An indefinite amount of time passes.

And then, out of the blue, a hand suddenly tapped him shoulder, and, startled, he whipped around, teeth bared, hands out in front of him in an offensive position, ready to gouge the offenders eyeballs out ––

The cute barista (Maccabee, his mind supplied) is, apparently, said offender.

Great, there’s another person who thinks he’s a psychopathic weirdo (not that he isn’t, but still).

But instead of freaking out at his overreaction, the guy laughs. Who even does that after a near-death experience? (Okay, maybe he’s exaggerating, but there’s no denying this guy was weird.)

“Chill dude, just here to take your order.”

Met with Baitsakhan’s blank look, the guy raises a perfectly arched eyebrow.

“Look, I love having you here, but if you don’t order something, like, right now, I’m going to have to kick you out, ’cause I just got this job and I really don’t want to lose it. You know, you’ve been sitting here for like half an hour doing nothing.”

Holy hell, he’s been wasting thirty minutes doing nothing?! Scrambling up (in a very dignified way, of course), he says, in a voice he hopes is impassive,

“Sure, I’ll have an espresso or something, like that thing you made last time. If you don’t remember, I’ll just have the thing with the most caffeine.”

Maccabee (again, this is all his brain’s doing, there is no way Baitsakhan would consciously remember people’s names, even super hot guys) laughs at that, shaking his head.

“Of course I remember, who would be able to forget the order of the cutest guy we’ve had here since I started working?”

The blond is nice to enough not show any visible reaction to the way Baitsakhan’s face burns a deep red color at his comment, and instead smiles a bit lopsidedly and turns to go. Suddenly he pauses, turns back to face the noirette, and before Baitsakhan can do anything the older teen quickly winks, so fast it was almost missed, and continues on towards the counter.

For the next five minutes, until Maccabee comes back with his drink, Baitsakhan just sits there, eyes wide, mouth gaping like a fish, shell-shocked. Even then all he can do is close his mouth and nod his head politely.

A buzz from his phone catches his attention, finally rousing him from his stupor. For a moment, he thinks that it’s the Phone Guy again, but when he see’s "Asian Hacker Lovebird”, he smiles to himself and swipes the screen sideways to reply. Though he would never admit it, An crashing into his life nine years ago really made his life better a thousand-fold. He remembered first arriving in North America, a bitter, parent-less seven year-old, small for his age but savage and aggressive, despite the language barrier. Oh, he learned English in his due time, but back then, really all he could say were a few basic swear words that immediately earned him half a dozen enemies. The one person he gravitated towards was a kid in the year above him, a Chinese boy who was all glares and rule-breaking and rebellious behaviour. Looking at his slim frame and lanky form, people would be led to falsely believe that An was all bark and no bite.

They couldn’t be more wrong.

Professional in at least ten different types of martial arts and an expert at (illegal) poisons and (illegal) hacking, An was definitely a formidable opponent. Baitsakhan’s type of guy. They were the perfect pair, both cold and haughty at school and in public. No one needed to know they played video games together well into the night and had weird movie marathons on a regular basis and smiled until their face’s hurt and laughed until they couldn’t breathe.

He was a good friend, cynical, with a dry sense of humor.

Right now, however, not so much.

asian hacker lovebird: where r u????

asian hacker lovebird: baits

asian hacker lovebird: answer me child

asian hacker lovebird: ANSWER ME CHILD

im-not-smol: Piss off.

asian hacker lovebird: THE CHILD IS HERE

im-not-smol: Don’t call me a child.

asian hacker lovebird: i repeat where r u

im-not-smol: A cafe.

asian hacker lovebird: specify

im-not-smol: Endgame Cafe.

asian hacker lovebird: U MEAN!!!

asian hacker lovebird: LIKE DA 1 W/ DA HOT BARISTA U RANT ABT 24/7??!!!!

asian hacker lovebird: OMG STAY RIGHT THERE DONT MOVE IMMA JOIN U

im-not-smol: Don’t you dare.

im-not-smol: 傻逼

asian hacker lovebird: oh no u did NOT just call me that

asian hacker lovebird: now i need 2 come 2 beat u up

asian hacker lovebird: it is a MUST

asian hacker lovebird: see ya in 2 min

im-not-smol: 王八蛋

asian hacker lovebird: SHUT UP JUST SHUT UP IMMA COME OVER RN 2 BEAT UP UR STUPID ASS

im-not-smol: You can try. ;)

asian hacker lovebird: challenge accepted ur goin DOWN boi

im-not-smol: We’ll see about that.

asian hacker lovebird: ur “impecable grammar” rlly pisses me off

asian hacker lovebird: *imppecable

asian hacker lovebird: ugh

asian hacker lovebird: smthn watevr i kant spel

im-not-smol: It’s not my fault you turned autocorrect off.

asian hacker lovebird: when will u eva learn 2 txt like a normal person???

asian hacker lovebird: 好落后

asian hacker lovebird: just sayin

im-not-smol: Shut up.

asian hacker lovebird: look up

Baitsakhan raised his head, only to be met with the sight of a very distorted face right next to his head. And of course he didn’t scream Jesus Christ and shriek like a little girl, what are you talking about?

The weird twisted face outside morphed into a wicked grin and the doorbell rang once again as another customer entered, tears of mirth still apparent in his eyes. This new comer looked quite out of the ordinary, tall and dressed in nothing but black and silver, a face that was all harsh angles and sharp corners and pale skin. A contrasting red teardrop tattoo stood out, leaking out of his right eye, and his strange hair style earned him quite a few looks from the other customers.

“You’re so stupid.”

“Shut up, you will speak of this to no one, understand?”

Most people would quake with fear at the aggressive tone, but An just rolls his eyes,

“Normal people don’t speak like ancient three-hundred year-old vampires, Baits.”

He drops down on the chair opposing Baitsakhan’s, leaning back and crossing his legs, stretching them out in front of him, a picture of complete ease.

“So, where’s the hot shot?” An says in a mock-whisper tone. Baitsakhan glares at him before subtly motioning towards the counter, where Maccabee is leaning against it, his phone one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. For a moment, An just stares, a small smirk on his face (not that the smirk ever disappears), whistling appreciatively. And then, out of the blue, he shouts, so loud that he attracts probably the attention of everyone else in the mile radius,

“Hey there, aren’t employees not supposed to serve themselves?”

Startled, Maccabee looks up. He sees An’s triumphant expression and Baitsakhan’s kill-me-now-please-just-shoot-me-and-save-me-from-the-torture one, and kind of gathers what happened. A lazy smile slips onto his face. He walks over, leisurely, still holding the half-finished drink.

“You’re right. But… ” He pauses for effect, and in that short amount of time An actually gets around to rolling his eyes again. The boy really gets a lot of practice.

“I’m off duty. Ais over there took over for me.”

He gestures at a red-headed girl who has somehow managed to escape their notice until then. For a moment, a strange look flits across Baitsakhan’s face, but as quickly as it got materialises, it disappears.

An shrugs.

“Oh. Good for you.” He says awkwardly.

There’s an uncomfortable silence, like the type when someone ought to say something but nobody does, before Baitsakhan finally interjects,

“Thanks for the coffee, but I think my friend and I should get going.” Here he pointedly glares at An, who stares innocently at the ceiling.

“How much is it again?”

Maccabee shrugs,

“Don’t worry about it, as long as you come again, it’s on the house.”

He winks suggestively.

Baitsakhan, of course, agrees. After all, who could say no to a free cup of coffee, right? And obviously, obviously it had no correlation to the fact that he actually wanted to come back to ogle the baristas. Duh, no.

When he first visited the coffee shop, Baitsakhan never imagined he would meet someone like this who flirted blatantly and paid for his drinks. When he first exited the coffee shop, he never thought he would come back again. When he came back the second time, he never thought that this place would impact his previously non-existent love life.

Only when they are outside the door, Baitsakhan for the second time, An the first, and An is laughing at his lovestruck (Baitsakhan would deny this) expression that Baitsakhan realises that maybe, maybe a tiny part of him has fallen in love with Maccabee.

(Just a tiny part.)

CHAPTER INDEX (for your convenience)

1 | 2

so. how’d you guys like it?

here are the translations:

傻逼 = dumbass/idiot

王八蛋 = its like f er (sry, i rlly dont like swearing in english in writing, i feel like ppl will track me down and yell at me)

好落后 = so behind (as in trends, like in the context of not caught up on the latest trends)

hope that cleared things up a bit, if not feel free to send me a quick message, and i’ll explain to you in detail.

anyways, any suggestions for the next chapter?? (i really need to change the texting usernames, any suggestions for the individual characters?? eventually all of the players are gonna get involved one way or another in the texting conversations)

#endgame #a cup of coffee to warm my icy heart #baitsabee #baitsakhan #maccabee #coffee shop!au

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themoneybuff-blog · 6 years ago

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Exploring the Connections Between Your Social Life and Your Financial Life

This is the seventh entry in an eight part series exploring the connections between your finances and other areas of your life. A few weeks ago, I started a series exploring the connections between personal finance and the other spheres of my life. The first entry covered the connections between ones physical life and financial life, the second entry covered the connections between ones mental and spiritual life and financial life, the third entry covered the connections between ones intellectual life and financial life, the fourth entry covered the connections between ones marital life and financial life, the fifth entry covered the connections between ones parental life and financial life, the sixth entry covered the connections between ones professional life and financial life, and today were looking at ones social life and financial life. As noted in the first entry, I tend to view life as a bunch of spheres, or areas of focus. I really like Michael Hyatts list of nine such spheres: physical, mental/spiritual, intellectual, social, marital, parental, avocational (hobbies), vocational, and financial they cover much of what life is all about. Ive come to view these spheres as deeply interconnected, in that success in one sphere is usually linked in some significant ways to success in other spheres (and failures are similarly connected) and that knowing the connections can help people figure out how to succeed in both areas at once. Today, were going to look at the social sphere and how it connects to ones financial life. What Is Social Life? Social life simply refers to the time you spend with other people simply because you enjoy spending time with them and get value out of that time. It encompasses time spent with family, time spent with friends, and time spent in situations where youre getting to know people. This might seem like a common sense definition, but theres actually a lot going on here. Does social media count here? Does interacting with someone online count as actual social behavior? If so, is it weakly social? For me, digital communication with people really only counts as social if its oriented toward spending actual face to face time with that person in the future. For example, if Im looking at a Facebook picture of someone I havent seen in ten years, thats not really social, but if Im talking to someone on Twitter about a game night were going to have next week, thats definitely social. There are many deep connections between ones social life and ones financial life. Here are a few of the key ones. Not having a social life leads to negative health consequences and significant expenses. The social sphere tends to be one of the two areas of life (along with avocational) where people often let it dwindle until its almost gone, then lament the disappearance of that sphere. People are more lonely today than they have been in centuries (if not ever) and that decay of social lives has a lot of profound negative health consequences. In short, if you allow your social life to drift away because youre too engrossed in other areas of life, youll likely find at some point that youre struggling with loneliness, and persistent loneliness is very problematic for ones physical and mental health over the long term. Maintaining your social sphere inherently helps maintain your physical and mental health spheres, which in turn helps your financial life. Your social circle deeply influences your spending choices. Its often said that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. Im not quite sure thats true, but I do believe that our closest friends and family members have a large impact on how we view the world, what things were exposed to, and what things we think about. Thus, by extension, our social lives impact our financial lives by the spending choices were guided to (or away from) by our social influences. I personally find it very valuable to cultivate social relationships with people who encourage me to make smart spending choices. Friends who are always nudging me to spend have a profound negative impact on my financial life, whereas friends whose company I can enjoy without any spending pressure tend to have a lifting effect on my finances. Friends who are frugal by nature improve my own frugality; big spending friends nudge me toward spending too much myself. We can get trapped in a desire to spend money to impress our friends and acquaintances, often those outside of our most immediate social circle. We want to keep up with the Joneses. We want to have the burst of social cachet that comes with having the cool new thing. We want to be the nicely dressed one in the group, or at least not be the one that is talked about as being shabby. In truth, this is just the spotlight effect in action; because we think about ourselves so much, we over-assume how much others think about us. Yet, many of us find ourselves influenced by these thoughts, overinflating what others might think of us. Its good practice to stop worrying what other people think and instead behave as we would like to be treated, but thats often easier said than done. Friends can help greatly when you need to borrow something or have a major task to accomplish (like moving). Friends can be incredibly useful when you need something in a pinch. Whether its a cup of sugar, a foot in the door at a job, a truck to haul a couch, or an afternoon of help getting ready to move, friends can make all the difference and keep you from spending money on services and products (and theyll likely make the activity more interesting anyway). Naturally, this comes with some expectation of reciprocation, so it means taking on a helpful role in the lives of friends as well. Here are five low cost strategies I use for maintaining and improving my own social life. Strategy #1 Keep Room in Your Life for Social Activity As I noted earlier, it can be very easy to let our social life dwindle away in the face of all of the demands of our other spheres of life. Our health, our jobs, our marriages, our immediate family all of that stuff often takes priority over having a good social life, and so well steal time here and time there from our friends and social connections until, one day, we wake up and realize those connections have dwindled away, and were feeling lonely. Not only is loneliness a bad destination, we also miss out on a lot of fulfillment along the path to loneliness if we let our social lives be sacrificed at the altar of career and family and Netflix and smartphones. Dont let that happen. Block off time on your calendar each week for social events. Make sure youre doing at least something that involves interacting face to face with people that you dont have to interact with (meaning people outside of your professional, marital, and parental spheres). It can be anything you want it to be. It can be a dinner party. It can be a dinner out with friends. It can be a community event. It can be a meeting of a group or organization of some kind. It just needs to be something where you go there with the intent of interacting with others (or people come to you with the intent of interacting). Do this on a weekly basis at the absolute very least, and ideally more often than that. More importantly, block off time on your calendar for these things, and do that each week. Dont let these things slide by, because thats a direct road to a dwindling and disappearing social life and a bout with loneliness. If I look ahead at the next few days and dont have something social on it, Im either looking at the community calendar or Im contacting some friends so that theres something social on there. Strategy #2 Be Proactive in Terms of Meeting People While people might come to you socially by calling you up and texting you and contacting you and inviting you, you cant rely on that for social contact. Its not reliable, and many friendships will fade quickly if you rely on it due to short term scheduling difficulties, introverted natures, missed communications, and so on. If you want to have a social life, you have to be proactive in terms of meeting people (to begin the process of building new friendships) and also maintaining the friendships you have. You cant just expect people to come to you. You cant expect everyone to always have the ideas and always ask you. You cant expect people to keep asking if you have to say no with any regularity. It simply wont happen outside of maybe one or two super close friends. Theyll get the vibe that you dont want to associate with them any more and theyll fade out rather quickly. If you want to grow your social circle and your social life, those people are not going to come knocking on your door. Theyre not going to run into you on the sidewalk. You have to go out there and find them. For me, this means being involved in the community. This means putting in the work to find groups to be a part of so that I have people with at least some common interest to associate with. This means putting away my introverted tendencies and actually talking to new people, which can be hard for me. Its not easy. Its much easier to just look at my phone or read a book. Its also got a high failure rate I dont just go to one event and click with tons of people and suddenly have tons of friends. At the same time, its incredibly rewarding. I have more good friends at this point in my life than I ever have, as well as more acquaintances and people I know and who know me. Thats not a typical thing for an American male approaching middle age. How does this happen? Its simple, and it has just a few pieces to it. First of all, I go to lots of community events that seem interesting to me, and I dont go there with the intent to just stand around. I go to participate. I go to talk to people because I know that the other people there are like-minded and have at least some overlap with me (we live in roughly the same area and have at least some overlapping interests). I dive into lots of little sub-groups. Second, when I go there, I make it a point to be social. I use everything Ive learned from Dale Carnegie (heres a summary) and make a sincere effort to get to know people. If I click at all with someone, I usually find them on social media and follow up in the next day or two with something meaningful (more than just HI! REMEMBER ME!?). The vast majority of people I meet dont click deeply, and thats fine. Over time, some of those people do grow into friendly acquaintances and sometimes eventually blossom into friendships. The key is to find groups and community events youre comfortable with and enjoy. Strategy #3 Plan the Social Events and Invite People To Go One thing Ive found is that social contact sometimes fades because no one takes the initiative to plan anything. Often, this is due to a sense of misguided politeness as they feel like they dont want to push whatever idea they have on others, and sometimes its due to a sense of being overly busy and feeling overwhelmed. Quite often, people just want a clear invitation and a sense that theyre personally invited and wanted at the event. If you want to be social, be that person that starts the event. Come up with something to do and invite people to it. Make the plans, so that its just a matter of the other people showing up. Want to have a game day? Plan one, set a date, invite some people. Want to have a dinner party? Plan one, set a date, invite some people. Want to have a movie night? Plan one, set a date, invite some people. Sure, some will say no. Sure, some others might just no-show. Thats going to happen, and its usually not a slight to you. Forgive it to an extent, unless it becomes a long streak of nos or no-shows, in which case you might want to just do something with that person one on one. Dont just assume that the person doesnt want to be friends with you any more instead, assume that the person is struggling with something, because thats much more often the case, or maybe theyre just disorganized. Let them show you that the friendship is over directly if thats the direction they want to go on dont just assume that it is because the other person has some challenge in their life. You wont always have to do this well, for some friends you might because theyre apprehensive about the planning for some reason but youre almost always better off picking the thing and the time and the place and just inviting people rather than trying to get everyone to fish for ideas. Step up and be the social leader. Strategy #4 Make One-on-One Contact and Catching Up with Friends Into a Routine Over the course of every few months, I make it a goal to touch base in some direct one-on-one way with everyone in my social circle. Ill send them a one on one text just checking in on them (a Hey, how you doin? kind of thing) or Ill stop by some place where I know theyll be and have a chat with them or Ill plan on having lunch with them. My goal with these things isnt to talk about myself, but to find out how theyre doing, especially if I havent seen them lately. Are they doing okay? Whats going on in their life? Do they maybe need someone to talk to? Friendships ebb and flow all the time, but its easy for a friendship to just fade away not due to intent, but due to a natural low point in the relationship when youre both busy with other things at the moment. Maintaining that thread keeps the friendship alive and allows it to bloom again in the future, and it quite often will. As I write this, I cant help but think of several friendships in my life for which this is true. I have friends that live far away that I contact fairly regularly in a deliberate one-on-one fashion, just to see how theyre doing. I can also think of several cases where friendships that would have otherwise faded gradually grew into something deeply valuable again. I do this rather mechanically by using smartphone reminders and such. I dont want to accidentally forget about a friend and let that friendship die, so I set a reminder to keep in touch every month or every other month. My phone tells me to get in touch with Person X again and then I follow through. It works really well. Strategy #5 When a Friend or Acquaintance Needs Help, Do It (Especially If Its a Multiplier) If a friend needs help and I can reasonably give that help, I give it, no questions asked. I dont expect anything in return. Dont I feel used or unappreciated? Nope, not a bit. I choose to help. It is my choice. No one is making me do it. I would feel used if I was forced or manipulated into it, but thats a different situation entirely. What I find is that, if I use this policy, a lot of simultaneous good things happen. For starters, that friend that Im helping is almost always in a better place because of my help. Their life is better, and a rising tide lifts all boats. That friend is usually appreciative, and the friendship we have is strengthened because of it. The opportunity to help is often fun, and it usually feels good. That friend usually thinks highly of me, and that often comes up when Im not around. Again, this isnt an always thing, but its a usually thing. A friend that youve helped without any need of reciprocation is usually going to say good stuff about you when youre not there. Also, when I do need help and send out a call for it, a lot of people are willing to help me because they know Ive jumped up to help them in the past. Again, this isnt a universal thing, but if I help ten friends and then I need help, Im likely to get an offer from at least a few of them. Its worth noting that the best opportunities to help friends are what I call multipliers. Those are situations where the value of the help to your friend is many multiples of what it cost you to help. For example, spending a few hours helping your friend move boxes so they dont have to hire a moving service when they give you some pizza and a drink and you have some laughs and conversation together is a big win. Putting in a good word for a friend when theyre trying to get a job is a big win. Giving a key piece of advice regarding something you know a lot about is a big win. Those should always be given, as it lifts your friends boat quite high with little effort from you. Final Thoughts Your social life is a valuable part of your personal happiness, as well as a key support for your physical and mental health. It has many connections to your financial life as well. Thus, supporting your social life is incredibly important. The big ingredients in a healthy social life are time and attention. Set aside some time and some attention for your social relationships and youll find that youre paid back with far more value that you ever would have expected. Good luck! https://www.thesimpledollar.com/exploring-the-connections-between-your-social-life-and-your-financial-life/

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spookyenemyperson-blog · 6 years ago

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Permanent Residence application for EEA student - Lack of private health insurance?

"Permanent Residence application for EEA student - Lack of private health insurance?

Hi everyone, I have been living in UK since September 2006. 2006-2010 = Student Nov 2010- May 2011 = Job seeker June 2011-June 2012 = Working full time September 2012-Now = Full time PhD student with salary Now I want to apply for Permanent residence and then for British citizenship. The problem is I never had Comprehensive Sickness Insurance (CSI), and actually I wasn't aware of it since I started looking for permanent residency. I know that the law passed in June 2011 and it says that lack of CSI will not be a problem if 'UKBA issued a registration certificate to the applicant on the basis of their residence in the UK as a student before 20th June 2011'. My problem is that I don't have this registration certificate (Not even sure what this is). Do you think my application will stand any chance in these circumstances? Any advices for future will be very helpful. Thanks Hasan

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Car insurance!! :(?

Right...Passed my test.. got myself a lovely corsa sri 1.4 16v But i cant get it bloody insured with a good quote! Best ive found was quinn-direct with 2700 per year.. thats with pass plus? does anyone know some really good car insurance companies that will insure me for that kinda car? baring in mind im only 17 =[ Thankssss.. Any help greatly appreciated!

""Female 19 year-old-, non-owner, occasional driver, Florida. Insurance premium increase?""

Okay, here are the details: My sister (who is 5 years older than me) got her first car 6 years ago at the age of 18. She didn't get her license until AFTER she bought the car. It was a '94 Blazer SUV. My parents' insurance went up about $800/year when she and the car were added. Then, she got married in 2002 and was removed from my parents' policy. Not much has changed since then; they are still paying pretty much the same premiums. So, since I also decided to wait until I was at least 18 to get my license due to the increase of insurance premiums, last fall I started inquiring with my parents' agent about how much it would be for me to be added. I turned 19 in December 2007, and was quite sure it would be less for me to be added considering I am a year older than my sister was when she got her license, and I do not own a car of my own. (Continued below...)""

Looking for cheap cars to insure?

Hello there, im 21 and looking for a cheap good runnin car! Thats cheap to insure! :) I dont like the old shape corses or nissan micras.. Ewww lol but really need a car asap! Any suggestions would be great n could u put make of car n model please? Thanks for reading! Lewis :D""

""I need auto insurance, I am 17?""

Ok, So I really need auto insurance, Looking to spend a good price per year for insurance, what is the cheapest insurance company??? How much do you pay per year? Thanks, I am tring to get insurance asap!!!! Thanks.. I need to drive to school and I am a senior""

Health Insurance Out of State?

I have pectus excavatum and I live in Marshalltown Iowa. I want to get a cosmetic procedure done called the nuss procedure. Most insurance companies say they cover this surgery. I know for a fact that my condition is severe enough that I could get the procedure done. I also want to get the procedure done out of state because the only doctor that's able to do it in Iowa blows and nearly killed 2 people. What type of insurance do I need specifically need for this? I can spend 300-350$ maximum but would like to spend 200-250$ for insurance. Pectus excavatum is classified as a pre-existing medical condition so I have been told that it would be hard for me to get insurance. Right now I have IowaCare which is a joke and only covers surgery or hospitalization in Iowa City. Thanks!!!

How much does insurance for eighteen wheeler in California?

Homeowners insurance in Valrico FL?

I am interested in buying a home in Valrico FL. Particularly Diamond Hill, a golf course community. Great price, but we are new at buying and have no idea what insurance might be on this place.Just to factor it in for our monthly cost. It is a 3/2/2 1800 sq ft @ $110k. no pool. I mean were talking just a rough estimate, close figure something. Again we have not the slightest clue as to what it could be. Any advice is really appreciated.""

What is the most police can do or insurance company if i insure a car with the wrong age?

i would like to know what would happen if i insure a car say am 20 and insure myself as 30 years old (much much cheaper) what would the insurance company do if they find out and also if the police find out when i get pulled over in the roadside? is it fraud? what will happen to my license? fines? court?

""If you have Mercury Insurance in the state of Florida, how much will the insurance cost for new 2014 Kia Forte?""

It's the base car no extra things in, just the LX""

Will my car insurance represent me in getting claim from other person's car insurance company?

Wife got in accident with teenage girls that was at fault. Other driver had insurance, and I'm dealing with them, but because they say my car is totalled as its older and not worth a lot, they offered me some money, but when I go to buy a similar car online, I see I'm short a few thousand. They are being a bit difficult and have my car at a lot ( I know mistake but they said they only were going to look at it, now its gone). I don't have a lot of pull but will complain as much as I possibly can - was on phone for nearly hour today. Question: Do you think that my insurance company will help me get money from the other insurance company of the at-fault party? I have not contacted them yet.""

How bad would my insurance cost be?

I'm buying myself a 2006 BMW Z4 for my first car, but I was wondering how bad the insurance would cost since my parents will be paying for that part and I don't want them to have to pay too much.""

Approximately how much would car insurance cost for a teenager in NJ?

How much is car insurance for older muscle cars?

I heard that car insurance is pretty expensive for older muscle cars, and I'd like to know around how much a month car insurance would be for a 1968 ford mustang?""

Car Insurance/car buying?

I am a first time car buyer and don't have much experience with this stuff. Should I buy car insurance before I buy the car or can I buy the car and insurance at the same time? Thanks

How much does insurance company pay for a totaled car with previously rebuilt title issued?

So I am looking to buy a car with rebuilt title( please dont tell me that I should not buy it, I know all the pros and cons). So lets say I have full coverage insurance and I get in accident and the car is totaled. What kind of money will I get from insurance? Clean trade in value? Clean retail value? Or half of clean trade in? I am just concerned if I should purchase full coverage insurance for it or no. If my monthly premium would cost as much as for clean title car, but I would get only 50% of it in case of an accident, than it does not have sense. Car is Honda Accord with $10000 KBB value and my insurance company is AAA Michigan.""

Permanent Residence application for EEA student - Lack of private health insurance?

What is the cheapest way to get the Good Student Discount on my car insurance?

I am 19 and graduated from high school. I was wondering if there is a very cheap way to be considered a student , and get a 3.0 and above GPA to qualify for the discount. It would be saving me over $700 a year. Thanks in advance""

Anyone in Florida with a 220 insurance license?

I want to study for the 220 insurance test but before going to the school i needed to get a head start, and was looking for some study material can anyone help or send some lititure to study??""

Should fat people and smokers get a discount on their health insurance?

Fat People Cheaper to Treat, Study Says Preventing obesity and smoking can save lives, but it doesn't save money, researchers reported Monday. It costs more to care for healthy people who live years longer, according to a Dutch study that counters the common perception that preventing obesity would save governments millions of dollars... -- AP/wired.com, Feb 6, 2008 http://news.wired.com/dynamic/stories/O/OBESITY_COST?SITE=WIRE&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2008-02-05-02-58-08""

For Lexus owners: Is it expensive to maintain a Lexus?

Don't bother with saying, If you are thinking about buying a Lexus, you should be able to maintain it. If not, shop for something else. I love the Lexus IS design, both outside and inside. And I'd love to get myself one of these beautiful cars. However, before I take one of these cars in my driveway, I want to make certain I am not making a mistake. These are the questions I want you to answer: 1. I heard the price for one tire is $300... Is this true? If no, how much does one of these tires cost? 2. I heard the price for oil change is $110. If this is not true, how much does it cost you for oil change? 3. I heard if either the front bumper or rear bumper needs replacement, the cost would be $5000. If this is not true, how much do you think a bumper replacement should cost? 4. Although the amount you pay for car insurance is based on your driving history, I heard that the quality of a car does play a major role. I am 27. So, in your opinion, how much do you think I will pay for car insurance for the 06 Lexus IS 250? My driving history has a clean record. I have yet to receive a ticket. 5. What other things I need to know about owning one of these cars? Please answer my question.""

Does insurance cost more if you have a sporty car versus a truck?

Guess im just wondering cause some of my friends with sporty cars talk about there insurance being high cause of that, or if it didn't matter what kind of car they have. Insurance is just based on the person not the vehicle...if that makes sense lol""

Where is the best place for a teenager to get car insurance?

Im an 18 year old male and will be getting a 2005 Nissan Altima. What would be good insurance for me? I need cheap insurance and I have good grades so I might qualify for a discount.

What a rough estimate of what it would cost me to insure a fifth-wheel?

I'm going to be in it full-time. It's 36 feet, purchase price: $32K (it's a 2001 model). Anyone have *any* idea? How many people insure their fifthwheels? I'm going to have a truck (buying a 2002 that's going to need insurance as well. Argh. Trying to figure out what I can afford, with regard to trailer and truck (and park fees etc...) Thanks so much!""

How long does it take to get billed for an ambulance ride?

I was given an ambulance ride back in April. My insurance had covered it and I am supposed to pay the co-payment as soon as I get the bill via mail. To this day, I still haven't received the bill and I'm told that the billing depends on the ambulance company when I call and ask about it. Does the billing usually take this long?""

Insurance if your already pregnant?

I found out a week ago that I am pregnant. The trouble is I don't have any insurance. I want to make sure I am in good care and don't really want to go some place that will treat me wrong. Anyone know of any insurance companies willing to pick up a already pregnant person? Please help! any answers would do me good! Elaine

""Im 17 and got a DUI, will this affect my insurance when I turn 18?""

I realize this was the dumbest decision me and my buddy have made in our lives. Trust me I dont want to be near a vehicle for a while. I have lost my license for only 90 days, the cops were very respectable about, and did not criminally charge me, although they were good at scaring the **** out of me. It will also cost me 500$ to get my license back after the 90 days, and my car has been impounded for 30 :(. I live in British Columbia, Canada and the car I was in is my parents and I am registered under them. Again, I feel ******* terrible about it and glad I didnt injure anyone, especially someone not in my vehicle. - The drinking age is 19, he didnt charge me for under age thankfully. - Im not considered an adult until I turn 18, you sure this will stick with me?""

How much do you pay for car insurance?

What company are you with? How old are you? What kind of car do you drive?

Wow does anybody else have insurance this cheap?!?!?!?!?

I just bought a2005 Suzuki GSXR 600 Sportbike ( high powered). I got my insurance and They quted me $7.65 every 6 months for liability and 75.68 for fukll coverage, which I got. I know some people that are paying 800.00 every six months for this bike. I have been with the company (State Farm) since I was 16 and have nothing on my record. I am 25 now. Anybody getting this good of a deal???""

Will I loose my parents health insurance if I fail one of my college courses?

All too soon I'm going under the knife and I'm worried to death that me failing my online english will cause me to loose my parent's health insurance. Does anyone know if I will or not?

Does anyone know what people are getting on insurance costs for a b7 audi rs4?

just some average price so i could get an idea of how much it might cost....thanks.

How Much Is Motorcycle Insurance?

I am 36 years old, and am purchasing a 2005 suzuki boulevard m50 (800cc's). I am a new rider. I live near Pittsburgh, PA. how much, approximately, will insurance on this bike cost me?""

Can health insurance coverage be denied (because of a prexisting condition) after COBRA expires?

I retired from my job at 65. After my retirement my company kicked out our two dependent children from the company health plan. Both children are at this time still ...show more

How much do you pay car insurance?

yearly?

Does anyone have a suggestion for maternity insurance?

my husbands new job is a small business that does not have group policy insurance but they help us pay the premium through anthem blue cross- i looked up their policies and there is a 1 year waiting policy for maternity and we do not want to wait so i am wanting to know if anyone knows of some good maternity insurance. thank you

My fiance got hit in my car is it an insurance problem?

I bought a car about 5 months ago and got full coverage insurance through State Farm with myself listed as the driver of the car and only my name on the insurance. My fiances car recently broke down so we sold it to salvage and canceled her insurance for it. I have two cars so I let her borrow the newest one today because its an automatic. Pulling out to turn a woman struck her passenger side with a minivan. I haven't seen it yet but the damage she says is very light a scratch and the front corner of the headlight broken. The other woman agreed it was totally her fault and provided all her insurance info but they didn't call the police to make a report :( So will this cause a problem when I call the womens insurance company or if I have to call mine if her insurance won't pay and who should I contact first just her insurance or mine and hers? I don't want to tell my company if I don't have to I turn 25 in a week and my rate is suppossed to drop big time and I don't want to screw that up.

Reviews of Gerber life insurance?

Does anyone have any personal experience with Gerber life insurance, including the claims process? This is for a whole life insurance policy for an adult.""

LANDA INSURANCE (real deal or fake?)?

WHATS up with Landa Insurance. www.landainsurance.com is really sketchy. Says its for Texas and Cali but also out of state and when u click on out of state its like 766 bucks in your cart... Seems pretty weird.. No online quotes or anything...

Totaled car w/no insurance please help?

ok bought a new car in oct 09 then it was stolen I made an insurance claim and they dropped me so I paid 3000 to get it fixed after that I didn't insurance back on it because I couldn't afford it at the time it was $412 a month so I finally was able to get insurance and no one would insure me had almost 8 pts I'm 23 and high risk finally my brother totaled the car and I have 17000left to pay and have not missed any payments should I tell the finance co? This just happed and it's still at the police impound he did not hit anyone I just have a fast car and he hit 3 light poles! Should I file bankruptcy? Get it off the lot? Tow it to the dealership? Tell the finance co please help what's the next steps I have no one to help

What is a insurance and tell me about it?

tell me about different types of insurances

How much life insurance do I need?

We have recently applied for 2 million in life insurance and I am wondering if this is a good amount for us. It is a 30 year term and is only in case of death of husband. Thanks for the help. Facts: Husband 31, Wife 26 Wife- not working, will be starting nursing school next year but has a bachelors degree if needed to use. Husband- Income ($100,000) We plan on having two kids in the next 5 years. Debt- two cars ($70,000) Student loans ($20,000) to be paid off next year. Savings ($100,000)""

What is the best student accident insurance?

What is the best student accident insurance plan for Kinder level in Pennsylvania?

Permanent Residence application for EEA student - Lack of private health insurance?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/aaaa-insurance-quote-william-burns/"

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kianstegall1-blog · 7 years ago

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GitHub is the home of over TWENTY thousand programmers collaborating to host and assessment code, take care of tasks, and build software program all together. When that is actually factor is to remove as many pretenses coming from craft as possible, I think that is actually hilarious just how modern-day art is typically found as pretentious. If you have any sort of questions regarding where and just how to utilize mountains in scotland to climb, http://ves-saludahora.info/chocolate-slim,, you could contact us at our webpage. The thugs from the lily have their different opening period, that the bloom lives in water greater than 1, maybe 2 full weeks. Creates this very easy to add video games like Playground My Automobile and 4 Tire Insanity to your Blog, MySpace or even Facebook webpage, as well as beyond therefore you can play on your own web site or website! I came to be therefore mesmerized in the world and all of violence that was associated with this that it kind of come to a phase where I simply presumed that that was actually the regular planet individuals resided in. While this isn't necessarily something you must perform, realizing that you might possess pissed people off or agitated all of them is actually a favorable measure. The scary that lesson transfer conjures in individuals is just about tribal, as if that is a disavowal from your family and friends. Individuals with significant vanities are actually normally thus loaded with on their own that they do not assume anybody can perhaps challenge all of them. Mentioning that a person is actually ostentatious could be a way of shouting the trappings and also absurdities of energy. Im just unfortunate that its over but I performed acquire a really good 7-8 months of low play off the game so im satisfied. To become truthful, I prefer to hang out along with these folks than with along with you, as you come across as totally undesirable. I don't truly have the moment to specify, however I assume the video game, overall, is actually a meticulous as well as cautious part from job, performed with treatment and affection for the video game that personal and also for the eventual gamers. You view Leo, individuals really love to work with a victor as well as do not definitely put up with or value a loss. The standards versus which genuineness as well as pretentiousness are actually adjusted vary hugely. Just a straightforward talk between the 2 of us inspired me adequate to write a write-up based around it, and also I'm just one from numerous individuals that he talks with on a daily basis. Because from exactly what this reveals concerning exactly how your identity relates to everyone else's, pretentiousness concerns. Most people start from scratch, job really hard with the greatest from motives as well as ultimately end up being contented or aggravated along with their absence of improvement. The 5th activity concentrates on Magenta's emotions towards Gray, both before and also after the contests from the previous games. Which was actually attained for a pair of year time frame with me concerning 50 percent details of the video game concurrently (you can easily never definitely escape it) as well as which operated tremendously (sort of) up until the time her mother and also I split. Many individuals have developed an undeviating canine eat pet" mindset regarding the globe, shaking stability to the wind for boosted individual increase. However, people along with bipolar II generally possess chronic clinical depressions which can easily create adapting very demanding. Numerous men discover seductive Oriental gals attractive having said that Oriental women could usually experience intimidated or even discourageded by guys off other lifestyles and also as a result can easily come upon as pompous or seem 'held up'. When David Bowie dressed like an intergalactic peacock as Ziggy Stardust (visualized), several believed he was past ostentatious. Gout arthritis is actually an enormously painful type of arthritis - thus very painful that most people could certainly not bear the weight from a feather on the tender junction. The fourth game in the collection hinges on the familial relationship between Magenta's child and also boy. When this is actually aspect is to take out as numerous pretenses from craft as achievable, I presume it is actually funny how modern craft is actually usually viewed as ostentatious. The ruffians of the lily possess their various opening period, that the bloom lives in water much more than 1, perhaps 2 full weeks. Makes it quick and easy to incorporate activities like Park My Auto and 4 Steering wheel Insanity to your Blogging site, MySpace or Facebook web page, as well as beyond thus you can use your own web site or even webpage! Few of the self pinpointed players I encounter go through considerably outside of genre myth, numerous are inclined highly in the direction of STEM industries and many have actually never been aware of tarkovsky and are quick to suppose that whatever film the candle light little in this particular dumb activity stems from have to be artistic wank that individuals only make believe to like. Take note that in this particular scenario, Pretentious.spec _ for/minitest _ for is not needed to have in the example report as the intended lessons are already indicated in the aim ats part. We pay for folks for their phrases, our company enable all of them to share the way they experience over some canvas and also our company agree to spend millions as a result of some perceived intensity or even emotion. One other phrase that is actually made use of in the Degree F System 2 vocabulary workshop answers is actually the word balance. It's a painting of two individuals, that's it. In terms of premium through exactly how individuals were repainted, you may certainly not essentially even call that great. If being actually authentic is taken into consideration a quality - what our company need to strive to be in society - then being pretentious is thought about a whitewash, a face-palm to your background. Enjoy the peculiar and also clean aesthetic appeals of Pompous Video game as well as plunge completely in to a metrical and deeper account. The daffodil hairstyle florals can easily avoid from 4 to 8 days, if they are actually thoroughly attended. Inevitably youll start facing phrases like bombastic, a qualifier that describes someone being actually pompous or making use of language thats swollen-headed, like authorities in government or even battling incredibly superstars in the course of their shows. I don't presume that's as huge from a package as this seems to be that people are actually duping rich individuals in to buying low quality craft that scams tips from so much more fascinating artists. That is actually given that he doesn't view themself as some hoity-toity, snooty, pompous writer. I carry out usually receive the feeling, not along with all, yet absolutely along with some comments that a bunch of individuals writing all of them have never ever truly read through a lot ideology as well as don't definitely recognize what it is actually or everything about it and as a result nearly every thing feels like baby-tier beginning ideology". But occasionally folks do not seem to be in order to get that to true offenders business is merely that - service - it is actually certainly not about status or even some of that foolishness associated with it. I commonly listen to people describe hip, obvious or costly brand-new styles as pretentious." I suppose that is actually all right if our team take the brand new meaning that some thesaurus are pressing, yet in my publication, that still does not reduce this. I ended up being thus caught up in the world and all from physical violence that was connected with this that it sort of got to a stage where I just presumed that that was the usual world individuals resided in. While this one really isn't automatically something you have to perform, understanding that you may possess pissed folks off or frustrated all of them is actually a good action. The terror that lesson migration conjures in folks is nearly tribe, as if it is a disavowal from your family and friends.

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stipulatedconflict · 7 years ago

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Band interview with Rotten Mind(Uppsala/Sweden)

As usual, I was wandering on internet. I came across to their first album ”I am alone even with you”. And their tight driven melancholic punk rock really stoked. The sound reminds me The vicious, Masshysteri these great Swedish melancholic punk rock, and in a way night birds, Also social circkle’s song “What's so great” in the guitar sound. yes it sounds different but it’s in a way. Solid guitar, great melody with pathos and clear carrying voice on the driving rhythm section. I asked them for an interview and Johan kindly answered for the question.

Check their sounds and follow them

Bandcamp:

1st: https://lovelyrecords.bandcamp.com/album/rotten-mind-im-alone-even-with-you

2nd:https://lovelyrecords.bandcamp.com/album/rotten-mind-rotten-mind

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rottenmindua/

The interview starts from below;

-So,who is in the band?are there any bands which any of you have played or been playing before or currently playing beside Rotten Mind?

Victor, Rune, Jakob and Johan. We have played in Agent Attitude, Damaged Head, Real Tears, Impo & the tents to mention a few.

-Is there anyone who is involved in any DIY punk activities like running label,writing zines,taking pictures,designing,organising shows etc in Rotten Mind?

We used to have a combined venue and rehearsal space called “Psykosen” which translates to "the psychosis". It was a great place where we organized a lot of shows but it was shut down after the police showed up during a concert. Nowadays Jakob runs a club called “Vår stad” together with our friend Magnus who is also tour manager for Rotten mind and is joining us on almost all shows. Not much besides that. Personally I don't have time to do anything else than the music right now.

-How did Rotten Mind start in the beginning?how did all of you get together?

Me and Jakob started to write a few of the first songs in the late fall of 2014. Soon Victor, with whom we had played together with in Agent Attitude, and another friend called Jöge joined us. We went to record a 7" and talked to Kaj at Lövely records / Gaphals about releasing it. But he thought we should do an album directly and we said why not. The plan was to write and record a second half of the album but we decided to go back to the studio to record everything once again. It was really good because the first recording could work as a demo which we could use as a reference to work on the sound. Rune joined us in 2016 when Jöge left the band.

-Was there any specific idea of sound before Rotten Mind started?

It was forged by the first few songs that we wrote. Just writing some songs, throwing some away and writing a few more and letting the songs form a context together. Resulting in a sound based on the song writing process rather than the opposite.

-How do you describe the sound of the band by your own words?

I don’t know if it adds any value. Listen for yourself and if you feel something - that is what it is!

-Is there any specific bands gave influence/inspiration to the band sound?

In the beginning we were maybe a bit inspired by The adverts and jay reatard for example. But it was never a goal to sound exactly like any of them or a specific style. When we talked about the band in the beginning we talked more about the concept rather than exactly what it should sound like. Now we are beginning to write songs for a third album and musical influences are not that clear at all. I think it's better when it's not.

-What kind of elements/influences does individual member bring to the band to sounds like Rotten Mind?

It's hard to nail exactly but everybody adds their touch. To me it is definitely something special to play with Jakob, Victor and Rune.

-How did you decide the band name?is there any special meaning by Jay Reatard?

It was suggested by Jakob and I thought it was perfect. It was more like those words matched with the feeling of the songs that we already had written.

-How did you get signed with Lövely Records?was there any connection originally?

We knew Kaj from Lövely since before Rotten Mind so we asked him if they would be interested and they were.

-How's the punk scene in Uppsala?

There is a great venue called "Garaget", where shows happen on a regular basis. Located in a small garage with a big yard just a bit outside of the city, it’s the perfect place for small punk shows. There are a few bands within different styles and lots of great people.

-How do you think about playing in a band in Uppsala?is there good venues to play?

There are not many venues suitable for rock music at all here. One or two maybe but nothing that is really good.

-Which bands are you playing together a lot?any bands you feel sympathy as being in a same scene?

I don’t know really, mostly you‘ll just relate to your friends no matter the musical style.

-Is there any bands you feel sympathy for the sound/attitude outside of Uppsala or Sweden?

One band that I would like to mention is Sievehead. Really cool band from the UK that we have played with a few times.

-Is there any good bands out there in Uppsala which we should keep our eye on in these days? 

No future, Obnoxious youth, Ordos, Reveal, Real tears, Damaged head. Lots of different styles.

-How do you guys compose songs and lyrics? some specific members are dedicated to it?or more like bring some riffs and developing it by jamming?

Me or Jakob has written most of the songs. Then they are of course shaped by everyone during rehearsals. Lyrics are written by Jakob.

-The first LP is out in September 2015 and March 2017 to have 2nd LP is pretty high pace to release LP. How could you guys be so productive? any secret method?

The first one was recorded and released really quickly I guess, since the band hadn’t even been around for a year when it was out. But the second one was not that fast out I think! What do you do in the meantime if you wait 2-3 years until the next album?

-You just had an Australian tour.How did it happen?

We met a guy called Matt in sweden and got to know him. He came from Australia but lived in Uppsala for a while before he moved back. When he was back over there he asked us if we would like to come over and it was not hard to say yes. Matt arranged the tour, followed us and helped out on all of the shows and invited us to his home. He also plays in two bands called Cat heaven and Collapso.

-How was the Australian tour?were there a lot of your fans in Australia?

The shows where not so big but it was really cool to see that there were a few people that already listened to us over there. Kind of crazy feeling to be on the other side of the planet and someone has heard your band. It was really sick to be able to do the tour.

-Were there any differences between touring in Europe and touring in Australia?

It's hard to compare because it is so different. In Europe we will play bigger shows because I guess a few more people have heard the music before. In Australia it felt more exotic in a way to us haha. Europe is so familiar while Australia is this hidden continent filled with deserts, deadly animals and weed smoking surfers.. At least stereotypic..

-What was the most impressive thing out there during the tour?

I was actually shocked about how friendly people were in general. Not that I didn’t expect the people to be friendly but I think us Swedes might be more introvert if you know what I mean. I felt like an asshole sometimes for not being able to match the level of politeness haha. It was really impressive to see the pacific ocean. We had the time to visit a few beaches and cliffs by the sea both day and night time.

-Any funny story from the Australian tour?

We played a small show in Newcastle. Strange place where most people were there to sing karaoke or watch Australian football on the TV screens. A group of metal heads was there by coincidence to celebrate someones birthday. One of them was really drunk and spent most of his early night bending over tables and screaming into people's faces. When one of the bands started to play he ran into the venue room to start a mosh pit but only succeeding in beeing thrown out after running around on the stage and pushing people in the crowd for a few minutes.

-What was the most impressive/unforgettable show that Rotten Mind had so far?

A few crazy shows on the last european tour. Dresden, Leipzig and Münster was all sick. To me it is also always a special feeling to play in our hometown.

-You have had two European tour and Australian tour.Where was the best to play?

There are lots of differences. It's just awesome to be able to tour in different places and see different parts of the world.

-What was the craziest things you had as Rotten Mind?

We did a combined Greek & French tour which involved a lot of cool stuff. Playing at 3-4 in the night in the yard of a greek university area, lot's of partying. A festival we were supposed to play in France got canceled due to heavy rain and flooding of the festival site. That show was moved to a small club which absolutely did not fit all the people, so the street outside was also a big party with all the people that couldn't get into the show! Turned out awesome even though everyone was a bit disappointed in the beginning. That was a cool tour.

-What is the further plan for Rotten Mind?

We have just starting to write new songs for a new album and to plan for more touring. More info will come.

-Is there any specific goal/aim for Rotten Mind to achieve?

Keep on touring as much as possible all over the world

#Interview(EN)

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mayuyuwatanabe · 8 years ago

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ＦＬＡＳＨ　（フラッシュ）　2017年5月16日号-FLASH スペシャルグラビアBEST 2017/5/30増刊号まゆゆきりんの10年ヒストリー (C)KOBUNSHA2017

click @fullsize

C Hiro L

more 10.mayuwatanabe.info/mayuyukirin-/

————- Eng Trans source miroku

https://miroku-48.tumblr.com/post/159907325319/are-these-two-even-real

I strongly suggest y’all to sit down, ‘cause what you’re gonna read is VERY gay.

Q3 is about their current relationship nowadays. M: since when we both got selected for singles senbatsu we both have grown closer, haven’t we? Y: But because we’re constantly together on workplace, time spent together outside of it has become pretty rare, hasn’t it? Even our seats on the Shinkansen would be always next to each other. M: Our managers always make sure that we’re together, too (laughs) Y: Talk about getting so much along.

Q6 asks them what would they change about the other person, if they could. Y: Maybe the way she laughs. It’s a laughter she lets out only when she’s with me and it’s really something. M: *ugly laugher* Y: That’s the one! That’s what I’m talking about! M: But this is the one I let out only with people I opened my heart to. With others is just a fake laugh. Y: Ain’t you exaggerating there!? M: What I’d change about you is your overly considerate nature. When I asked you to let me have what you were drinking you even asked me, “but I put my lips on it, you sure it’s OK?” Y: That’s because I’m a fussy person (T/N: I’m not sure how to properly translate it in english, so I’m not sure if “fussy person” would be the most appropriate translation, but what I meant is that she doesn’t like it when people eat the same thing she’s eating or drink from the same spot she’s been drinking simply because she thinks that’s dirty or not clean as a thing). M: That’s fine, I’m telling you! I trust you so I can drink from it! Y: god, you’re over-reacting (laughs)

and these are messages they wrote for each other↓ image

「Yukiri~n Let’s go have fun someplace next time~ Mayuyu」

which reminds me, I don’t know if anyone has translated it yet, but because I was on hiatus (AKA crying alone in a corner for Haruka) I kinda forgot to translate for y’all the love letter Mayu wrote for Yuki on last month’s number of 『duet』.

【duet】2017年3月渡辺麻友

image

「To Yukirin, It’s been 10 years since our first meeting, and you’re still the same kind and nice person. Thank you for always embracing me with your immense kindness just like a mother would do. Because we’ve both got similar sense of humor and sensibility, it becomes easy to feel happy and just have fun when I’m with you. You’d always call me out on my stupid things whenever I’d say or do any, so I always feel like I can be 100% myself when I’m with you, and just do whatever I want (laughs). Despite you said you wouldn’t sing, you also agreed to come with me to the karaoke, didn’t you. “If you wanna go, Mayu, then let’s go”. But I ended up singing alone for the whole time and… At some point I kinda felt my heart breaking in two. Singing alone feels lonely, so please, next time we go sing with me (laughs). Also, we should totally go to that Sanrio Puroland too, since we both keep saying we wanna go!」

this actually is a love letter since they asked her to write a letter for three people she holds dear to her. One was for her mother, another was for her fans, and the third one was for Yuki. You’re welcome.

Here’s Yuki’s message for Mayu from the FLASH magazine, btw↓ image

「Mayu-chan ❤ Keep being yourself whenever we’re together from now on too, alright? 😉 I’ll always, always, LOVE you. Yukirin」

more trans

https://miroku-48.tumblr.com/post/159382979089/im-very-lazy-so-im-not-gonna-translate

–What about the relationship you two share? M: Since the beginning, Yukirin has always been acting nicely and kindly to me, always showing me what a big heart she has. I feel like, no matter what I’d do, she will always accept it, and she’d always forgive me anything. She’s great at readily respond to my silly statements, so that feels good, too. Y: I feel like that 90% of the conversation we have when we’re together is made of those silly things you say, Mayu (laughs). But that makes me happy. Because that’s not something you do with everyone. M: Yeah, it’s something I do only with you and Sashii, even in backstange. I feel like I can’t show that side of me to the others. ‘Cause even if I did, they prolly wouldn’t understand at all (laughs). Y: To me, Mayu is like a 4 years younger sister. Even though she’s actually only 2 years younger than me (T/N: yes, Mayu is born in 1994 and Yuki in 1991, so technically she should be 3 years younger, but I’m pretty sure it has to do with the coming of age ceremony and the fact that people born in March, for some reason, are still considered “of the previous year” or something like that… Not sure), I feel her a little younger. When it comes to work, Mayuyu is the one who shows off the most professional and mature attitude, and I wanna be the one supporting her from the most closely. I wanna be someone she can be her playful true self with.

–You two have released a coupling song from the Shoot Sign single called “I Want to Listen to Sad Songs”. This is your first official unit song together after 10 years; how does it feel? M: It’s a ballad, and it’s not that revealing (laughs). It’s a nice song, though! Y: We recorded that in different days, so we technically haven’t had the chance to sing it together, yet. That’s why, I’m really looking forward our first live-performance together of the song. M: I’m the kind of person who gets nervous on stage, and I’m sure I’m gonna be nervous while performing that song too, but since Yukirin’s voice is usually pretty steady and calm, I’m sure I’m gonna be able to do good by your side. Y: I mean, you’re the one member I trust the most among everyone. Our voices match well together, when we look at each other we manage to sing in perfect synch, it’s super easy to duet with you. I wanna perform that song many times!

–10 years have passed. What about your plans for the future? M: Yeah, I still wanna be a stage actress… I guess I gotta start preparing myself for that. Y: I wanna keep performing and singing on stage. Actually, I’ve been enjoying a lot everything I’ve been having the chance to achieve within the 48 Group, lately. So I guess I wanna keep being the kind of solo artist who would be able to keep doing all that in the future, too.

–And what about your relationship in the future? M: If we start not meeting frequently anymore, we won’t be able to have such fun together anymore either. And it’d make me feel sad, so we’re totally gonna keep meeting on a regular basis, and I’m totally gonna release my stress on you! (laughs) Watcha think? Y: Sounds good to me (laughs). Even after graduation, the things we wanna keep doing in the future aren’t so far away from one another, we might meet on the same set or stage and work together as “MayuYukirin”… I think there would be nothing that would make me happier.

ＦＬＡＳＨ　（フラッシュ）　2017年5月16日号-FLASH スペシャルグラビアBEST 2017/5/30増刊号まゆゆきりんの10年ヒストリー (C)KOBUNSHA2017 was originally published on Watanabe Mayu

#渡辺麻友 #まゆゆ #mayuyu #watanabe mayu

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themoneybuff-blog · 6 years ago

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Questions About Weddings, Roth IRAs, Shoes, Blankets, and More!

Whats inside? Here are the questions answered in todays reader mailbag, boiled down to summaries of five or fewer words. Click on the number to jump straight down to the question. 1. Thoughts on caring for parents 2. Wedding question, part one 3. Wedding question, part two 4. Starbucks Visa 5. Books on home buying 6. Frugal running shoes 7. Roth IRA contribution question 8. Roth IRA or bigger e-fund? 9. Unwanted Christmas toys 10. Marketing crocheted baby blankets 11. Where do I get advice? 12. Further areas of philosophy Here in Iowa, it felt like winter did not begin until about January 12th or so, but when it did, it hit with a vengeance, with many inches of snow and a forecast for the coming week that has wind chills at our home approaching -50F. When the weather gets that cold, it interferes with all kinds of things. You simply avoid going outside if at all possible, which means that As I write this, Im bundled up in multiple layers of clothing with a cup of hot tea on my desk. I feel quite good after getting up quite early to shovel snow. I dont bother running the snowblower unless we have several inches, as shoveling our drive of a few inches of snow is good exercise. On with the questions. Q1: Thoughts on caring for parents My wife and I are in our forties. We have two adult children that are moved out and on their own. Her parents are both in their late seventies; my parents have been deceased since I was 20. Her parents are ailing. Theyre not in a situation where they need to be in a retirement home, but household tasks wear them out. They live about an hour away and we visit them two or three times a week to help out, as do my wifes siblings. We have been talking about the possibility of having her parents move in with us to make things easier on all involved. We are actually set up very well with this, as we have a large main floor bedroom that could be used by them and a main floor bathroom with a shower that could be modified a bit to make it easy for them to use. Our main worry is that the other siblings will simply stop helping or visiting in any way and just assume were taking care of it. They really like the regular visits from their children and grandchildren and we worry that will all dry up if they move in with us. Our secondary worry is financial as it will add some household expenses. What are your thoughts on this? Shaun In general, if everyone is on board with this, I think multigenerational living is a great approach for everyone involved. The key to making it work is communication people cant hold back on their feelings or else you will turn every little molehill into a mountain. You have to listen to each other and genuinely try to be supportive of one another to the best of your ability. If you can do that, itll work well. As for your specific concerns, with your primary worry, one way to handle this is to just simply have regular family dinners at your house. Make it a routine to have people over for dinner a couple of times a week. I dont know whether your home can support this, but it sounds like it can. Doing this gives people a reason to visit and see your in-laws rather than just stopping by. Its usually easier to go visit a parent or a grandparent if you have a reason to do so; if its just stopping by, its easy to skip it. If theres a meal involved, it feels more like a reason to visit. So, if the move happens, just institute some regular meals. Maybe have a regular Sunday evening potluck or something like that, and maybe start inviting a few people over on weeknights on a regular basis. For the extra meal effort, dont hesitate to ask people to come early to help prep if needed or to bring a side dish in fact, thats a good idea, because it invests them in the meal and makes the visit feel more purposeful. As for the financial concern, talk that over with your in-laws. They will probably want to feel some ownership over the situation anyway. You can simply ask them to pay the energy bill and the internet bill or something like that, something that will partially replace their utility costs at their old place and possibly cut your overall bills, too. They can contribute to buying food, too. This can end up being a money saver for you, actually. The key with any situation like this is open communication and candor. Everything wont go perfectly and youll all do things that drive the other one crazy. Just be open about it and dont let it grow into hurt feelings. Understand that everyone loves each other and you all want to make this work. Q2: Wedding question, part one I have two wedding-related questions for the Reader Mailbag. One of my best friends is getting married, and has asked me to be a bridesmaid. We are in our mid-to-late 20s. She and her fiance make good incomes and come from fairly well-off families. My friend and I have pretty different approaches to our finances as she really enjoys going out, eating out, shopping, etc. Meanwhile, Im currently in grad school. My friends wedding will be at a swanky venue in one of the most expensive cities in the U.S. (Note: its not a destination wedding, but I dont live there.) I expect everything about the wedding to be top-of-line. My friend wants all of her bridesmaids to purchase bridesmaids dresses together as a group from the same store, by the same deadline. The store stylist said that this guarantees that all of the dresses will come from the same dye lot. The dress that my friend chose for everyone to wear is $300. Its not that I dont have the money for this, but thats a lot of money! I found that same dress, used, in my size online. The used dress is significantly less money than the dresss retail price. I dont feel that dye lot matters much, but some online wedding forums warn against bridesmaids purchasing dresses piecemeal to avoid inconsistencies that may show up in the wedding photos. I would feel awkward asking my friend if I can order the dress on my own rather than as part of the group, because I feel like Id be ruining her expensive photos. Again, its not that I absolutely cant afford it, but it just seems so wasteful to spend hundreds of dollars on a dress when I can find it for so much less. Is this a time when I just need to suck it up and participate in the group order for the sake of maintaining social normalcy? I already feel bad because Im skipping the bachelorette party which is across the country, so I feel like Im the odd one out. Tammy If I were in your shoes, I would sit down and talk to your friend about the situation. Simply ask if it is okay for the bridesmaids to buy the dress on their own. If she asks why, simply explain the reason youre a graduate student, $300 is a lot of money, and you found the same dress in the same color for much less. The thing to remember is that if this causes a real issue, then there are issues in the friendship to begin with. A good friend appreciates the situation that their friend finds themselves in and works to find a way around it. A wedding is not made or broken on the dress worn by a bridesmaid. Just have a conversation. The vast majority of the time, this will be a non-issue. If it is an issue, its a valuable indication of the status of the friendship. Q3: Wedding question, part two Second, how much would you recommend spending for the wedding gift? I was thinking of something from the registry thats $100, but a lot of wedding etiquette sites say that if its a really good friend, you should be spending closer to $175. I dont want to seem cheap or send the message that I dont value her as a really good friend, especially when this is going to be a really nice/luxurious occasion. But theres also a shower gift to account for Tammy You should completely ignore wedding etiquette sites when they give an exact dollar amount for a gift, especially one as weirdly precise as $175. Thats just weird, bad advice. Give a thoughtful gift you can afford. Pick something from the registry that you can afford and then also write a nice handwritten note to go along with the gift expressing your best wishes for the couple in your own words with your best penmanship. Anyone who looks negatively upon a gift given to them is a person lacking in character. Gifts should always be given freely based upon what the giver can easily afford. Q4: Starbucks Visa As a Starbucks lover, is the Starbucks Visa worth it? How does it compare to popular cards like the Chase Freedom? Lana Well, lets walk through the hypothetical example given in their sales pitch. In that example, youre spending $525 a month for a year, $25 at Starbucks and $500 elsewhere, so that adds up to $6,300. Lets say you use the card for two years, so the total is $12,600. This earns you 64 rewards in the first year and 28 rewards the second year, totaling 92 rewards. A reward is a drink or food item at Starbucks and appears to be at least somewhat Starbucks choice. Lets assume these are worth an average of $4 each, so your total rewards are $368 in value. To get that reward, you also have to pay $100 in annual fees on the card. So, youre getting $268 in value, all in the form of Starbucks items that you largely cant select yourself. Thats a little over 2% in rewards in the form of food items that are probably good but you cant select yourself. Thats not really the best card deal out there, and its going to decline in value each additional year because you only get that big bonus the first year. I dont think this card is worth it unless you drink a lot of Starbucks, in which case you might want to rethink how much youre spending in coffee shops. Q5: Books on home buying Do you have any recommendations on books to read to learn about home-buying? My wife and I are planning to purchase this year. Jim My first recommendation for first-time homebuyers is Home Buying Kit for Dummies by Eric Tyson (seriously). Its an extremely good guide to what people should know about buying their first home, and Sarah and I read an earlier edition thoroughly when we were considering buying our current home. Ignore the for Dummies part its a really good guide. From there, Id hone in on which aspects of home buying arent crystal clear to you and read articles and find books to fill in gaps in your knowledge. If I had to pick a second book, Id probably look at 100 Questions Every First-Time Home Buyer Should Ask by Ilyce Glink. While its not as thorough as the Tyson book, it does delve nicely into specific areas of the home buying experience and can complement specific areas of the Tyson book well. Q6: Frugal running shoes For a new years resolution I followed your advice and started a resolution of running for 1 minute every day this year and running more if I feel like it but not required. Its been working great! I have been running about 20 minutes a day on average on warm days and at least running a block or two on the really cold days. I thankfully have a spot to run on snowy days. Anyway Im writing to ask for frugal advice on running shoes. I used to be a big spender back when I was running and bought expensive shoes constantly. I whipped my finances in shape during a time when I wasnt running for various reasons but now that Im back at it, I need to figure out a way to do this without spending $100-200 a month on shoes. Ideas? Tom Lets get this out of the way right now: I do not advocate anyone running in worn out shoes. You are begging for various physical problems by doing so. You should be replacing your shoes 300 to 500 miles or every 18 months, because the sole of the shoe simply wears down. Look at the bottom of the shoe and see if you see a lot of creases on the shoes bottom and theres significant discoloring thats a great sign of wear and you should probably get new ones. My recommendation is to find a good mid-cost model that really works well for you, buy a pair of them, and then stalk out bargains on that specific model. I have either personally liked or heard very good things about ASICS Gel Venture, Nike Revolution 4, and Adidas Cloudfoam, all of which are available under $50 a pair with ease, so try those. Once you have a sub-$50 pair you really like, just watch very closely for bargains on those shoes and buy multiple pairs at once if you find a really good deal. You can watch them on Amazon by using tools like Camel Camel Camel, for example. Q7: Roth IRA contribution question I decided to put some money that I got for Christmas from my wonderful generous grandparents into a Roth IRA. I opened one through Vanguard and went to deposit the money and they asked if it was a 2018 contribution or a 2019 contribution. Which should I choose? Not sure of the ramifications. Julie Since this is a new Roth IRA meaning you havent made any contributions to a Roth IRA in 2018, I assume and Im also assuming that (a) you havent filed your taxes for 2018 yet and (b) the amount youre contributing is less than $5,500, then you should make a 2018 contribution. Each year, youre allowed to contribute up to $5,500 to your Roth IRA starting in 2019, that limit goes up to $6,000. That window to contribute starts on January 1 of a given year and ends when you file your taxes for that year early in the following year. So, until you file your 2018 taxes (some time before mid April), you can still make a 2018 Roth IRA contribution, and you should do so because that window is about to close forever, plus it leaves the 2019 contribution window wide open. This is a great thing to be doing with a gift from grandparents, by the way. While they might want you to do something fun with that money, if you told them that you put it aside for your future, theyll be proud of you and for good reason. Heres another good Roth IRA question. Q8: Roth IRA or bigger e-fund? I have about $3,000 in an emergency fund which would be enough to get by for about two months. I am single with a 7 year old daughter. I have about $1,000 surplus in checking. Should I add to the emergency fund or add to my Roth? Nowhere near contribution limits for the year. Amy First of all, I want to say that I am in awe of what youre pulling off here. Youre a single mother who not only has a healthy emergency fund, but is also concerned about saving for retirement. You are on the ball and deserve kudos for that. Second, two months of living expenses is a good healthy emergency fund. If I were in your shoes, I would probably make the Roth contribution with most of the surplus, leaving a little behind in checking as a buffer. Then, I would set up an automatic transfer from checking to savings each week $10 or $15 or $20 should do. This way, your emergency fund automatically grows slowly over time and if you have to tap it, you know its going to refill over time with no further effort. So, Id probably contribute around $750 to the Roth IRA, then Id set up a $20 per week automatic transfer into my emergency fund going forward. Q9: Unwanted Christmas toys My kids receive an absurd number of gifts for Christmas each year. For the last few years, my husband and I have actually removed a few items from their pile that they were less interested in and put them aside to see if they remember them and if not we quietly sell them and put the money in their 529. We figure the gifts were unwanted. This past weekend my sister came over and mentioned the toy she had bought for our middle child. It was one he had overlooked and we had put in storage in the garage. We hadnt sold it yet. He wanted it so we dug it out and gave it to him. My sister was obviously curious as to what the deal was and we explained it to her and she got really mad at us and called us thieves. What are your thoughts? Jason I honestly dont see anything too wrong with your approach. Youre putting the gifts that your children arent interested in aside for a while, giving it some time in case they do think about them, and then if they dont, you sell them off and put the money aside for their college education. Its not as if youre stealing their toys or anything youre just turning the ones they dont want into something that will help them for life. Your sisters response might have had something to do with the fact that she apparently put a lot of thought into the gift and your child wasnt interested in the gift, which hurt her feelings. Her feelings were probably hurt even worse when she found out you were going to sell it unopened. This is one of those situations where you should just give it a little time and talk about it when the situation is less raw. I think your sister will see the sense in what youre doing. Q10: Marketing crocheted baby blankets In late 2018, three extended family members had babies so I crocheted a blanket for each one. The recipients seemed to genuinely love them and two suggested that I try to sell them. I enjoy making them but I dont even know where to start. Carrie My honest suggestion is that you throw out the suggestion to your social network. Post it on social media along with a picture or two of the baby blankets and say that youre willing to make them for baby shower or birth gifts. State your price and the dimensions and what kind of customization options you offer. Im honestly not sure what to charge for the blankets. Thats something you would be much better at assessing than I am. My suggestion would be to go relatively low in price at first cover the price of the yarn and make a little for yourself, but not a mint and then raise it if your blankets become popular. You might also consider an Etsy account in order to sell your wares. Q11: Where do I get advice? You give so much great advice! Where do you go when you need advice? Jenna When Im in a situation where I dont know what to do, I usually write it all out. Im a huge proponent of doing three morning pages, which is a journaling technique where you sit down each morning and just brain dump three pages of writing in a blank journal. I try really hard to do that every day, and it often turns into a forum for me to take a problem in my life and turn it over thoroughly with pros and cons. I usually need to really understand a problem first before I can look for meaningful advice on it. Quite often, this process will make the solution to my problem screamingly obvious. The next step, if journaling doesnt give me an answer, is always to talk to my wife, even if the advice I need involves her. We communicate with each other a lot not a day goes by without a few meaningful conversations. Sarah is my primary source for advice on everything. If Im still unsure, I usually go to the library and try to research ideas on my own. I tend to trust expert advice from books, where the reasoning behind the advice is usually laid out and I can see how that advice applies to my life. If Im still unsure, I usually talk to a few people in my life that I really trust. I have a few mentors in the community. I really trust and value the views of my parents and my wifes parents and my sister-in-law. I talk to them next. If Im still not sure what to do, Ill go talk to a professional in that particular field, but its very rare that I get to this point. Q12: Further areas of philosophy I have been enjoying your semi-regular series of Saturday articles about how different schools of philosophy provide personal finance guidance. What areas are you planning to cover in the future? Dane So far, Ive covered stoicism, Epicureanism, Aristotleanism, and secular Buddhism, for those interested. Danes note actually came in before the last one was posted. Going forward, I definitely want to write an article on transcendentalism, which Ive touched on indirectly several times. This would cover Emerson and Thoreau (who I hold in very high regard), among others. I can see a useful article on utilitarianism at some point. I want to read more about various Eastern schools of philosophy which, outside of secular Buddhism and a few others, I know little. Beyond that, it really depends on where my reading takes me. I love reading philosophy, particularly those with a practical angle that provides insights on how to live, and I find that most such schools of thought that deal with the practical in some fashion have a lot of application to personal finance. Got any questions? The best way to ask is to follow me on Facebook and ask questions directly there. Ill attempt to answer them in a future mailbag (which, by way of full disclosure, may also get re-posted on other websites that pick up my blog). However, I do receive many, many questions per week, so I may not necessarily be able to answer yours. https://www.thesimpledollar.com/questions-about-weddings-roth-iras-shoes-blankets-and-more/

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