#outer science: humor

[fuckyeahkagepro]

ME: JIN PLEASE give us ANYTHING of tHE NEXT The Next the nEXT the next the next the next the next NEWS

[secondwheel]

Options in outer space

[misforgotten2]

The first fountain pen in space.

Exploring Science Four  By Walter A. Thurber - 1960

[facts-and-memes]

😂🤣

FOLLOW for more...

[bameme]

It's gonna take a while because they need to find a priest proficient in COBOL.

[pointman74250]

“Some weird shit is about to happen. Oh yeah: Twilight Zone. Can I get my check now?”

— Rod Serling phoning it in.

[cybernym]

Test post

[artizit]

The Flat Earth Theory is Getting Old. Here is Brand New Pea Planet Theory.

[toruandmidori]

ASTROBEAR!

Blast off this fall with our funny, vintage style space bear astronaut shirts! 

Available to buy online here.

[catmint1]

I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.

—Arthur C. Clarke

[misforgotten2]

No, not Freudian at all.

Cover by Malcolm Smith

[beauty-funny-trippy]

[linka-from-captain-planet]

Power ranking BG3 ladies based on how much I'd personally like to marry them

All main and supporting women: Shadowheart, Lae'zel, Karlach Minthara, Jaheira, Isobel, Aylin, Mizora, Orin

Plus my background babes: Florrick, Talli, Alfira, Lakrissa, Araj, Nocturne, Skoona, Adrielle, Z'rell, Roah, Nine-Fingers, and special guest star Philomeen

*Isobel and Aylin deserve to be regarded as individuals occasionally, so yes I'm wrecking that home (Alfira and Lakrissa too)

*essentially, top 10 is "women I would like to marry" and 11-21 and is "women I would not like to marry"

Quartermaster Talli. Granted she has an unfair advantage due to looking and vibing as a fusion of my IRL girlfriend and the butch lesbian who installed my new garage door 3 years ago whom I'm still mildly obsessed with. But anyway, we'd have a really great life together. We'd be able to communicate, we'd be compatible in the bedroom, we have similar values. Wife material, Grade A - the gold standard comparison for everyone else on the list.

Isobel. We'd have our tiffs (we can both be a little catty and sensitive), but overall we'd be a pretty stable match. We'd put in the work to make it last. I feel like being a cleric counts as a "job" so I appreciate that.

Nocturne. My #1 "I can fix her" pick because I think I actually can. I appreciate a hard worker, so Nocturne having distinguished herself in her uh workplace enough to become an officer is very respectable to me. We could go to therapy together. Not a perfect match, but I think we could make it work.

Lakrissa. Would be an easy second place if she didn't read so young. She's a little immature (a little over-dedicated, a little too self-sacrificing) and so she'd have to do some growing up, but I think we could make it work.

Florrick. Even though she's my #1 beloved and by FAR the sexiest person in the entire game and I would do anything to [redacted], we'd be like two brick walls getting married. We're too similar. But sheer affection and lust propel her to the top 5 anyway, even though we'd probably be married 10 sexless years before one of us finally snapped and filed for divorce.

Skoona. Assuming she drops the whole self-deprecating thing (can't stand that). She has a job, she's sensitive, she's romantic, she's humble, and she's hot. I don't think we'd knock each others' socks off, but we'd be a nice match.

Lae'zel. Extremely 22 years old and that's an issue for me. I'm also too sensitive to make it through her tough outer shell to get to the soft waifu meat inside. However, she does have amazing wife material to uncover, so I think if I could be her second wife, we'd be golden.

Adrielle. We'd have our problems as two neurotic faux-normies, but we're neurotic in different ways, so maybe we'd complete each other? She's very conscientious and thoughtful, though, which are the most important wife traits for me. With commitment and therapy, we'd make it work, but it wouldn't be the smoothest ride.

Jaheira. I don't really want to be a step parent to young kids, so that pulls her down the list a bit, but there's no way I couldn't have her in the top 10. We'd get along great; we have the same sense of humor; we're both not clingy. A good match, but not really the wife for me.

Minthara. I want her so bad but she'd eat me alive and not in the sexy way. I would let her walk all over me for 2-3 years though, assuming she didn't dump me first. Impossible to rank below the top 10, but objectively not the wife for me.

Shadowheart. Like Lae'zel, there's a lot to get through before you get to the wife material deep inside. I would also need to be her second wife. Also, I'm not doing that cottagecore shit and I cannot have that many animals in my house.

Araj. I know I called her bad in bed 2 different ways in two other posts but that's not a problem, she's so sexy and interesting to me that I know I would fall super hard for her. I too love science? We have something in common. I feel like she'd bring out a lot in me, not necessarily good things, but to be loved is to be changed? I would probably come to my senses before really risking it all though.

Alfira. I love her so much but I am no Lakrissa, I could not handle both supporting her while she pursues her artistic goals AND having to top every time. We'd be that miserable couple that lets it drag on forever because nothing is *wrong* even though nothing is *right* and wind up hating each other.

Nine-Fingers. She'd stress me out too much. Running the streets, making enemies... what if a shake-down goes wrong? Admittedly I'm tempted to live out my mafia wife fantasies with her, but realistically, I think I'd have too many nervous breakdowns to make it worth it.

Karlach. The divorce would be so epic that I almost wanted to rank her higher, but I just know deep down that we would trigger/frustrate the fuck out of each other and completely implode long before making it to the courthouse and/or altar.

Aylin. I routinely get over-stimulated by my cats brushing against my leg when I'm trying to multi-task working and listening to music, so there is no universe in which I could tolerate being married to Aylin. She's too exuberant and touchy. I would be scream-crying WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME every time she simply asked me how my day was in her usual volume. An absolute disaster, she'd smother me despite her best intentions.

Z'rell. She can have place #17 to match the 17 husbands which I would not be okay with. I'm not jealous, but I'm not THAT not jealous. She's also just really harsh and I'm a crier, so we probably would not be able to have a conversation, let alone a relationship.

Roah Moonglow. Like Nine-Fingers, but I feel like the Zhent is like, a second-rate criminal organization and so it'd be like being a second-rate mafia wife. All the stress, fewer fist-sized emerald necklaces.

Mizora. On top of everything else, she's also a corporate LAWYER... yuck

Philomeen. I would go on 1 date with Philomeen, let her start a blowup fight with me outside of [regional burrito chain], let her neg me into fucking anyway, go no contact, and let her booty call me 2 years later at 3AM like nothing happened, but I would not even slightly consider dating her, let alone marrying her.

Orin. Ignoring the whole serial killer thing that's neither here nor there, the problem is the combo of overbearing family (my #1 dealbreaker of all time) and lack of communication skills (my #2 dealbreaker of all time). Like I'd be constantly trying to get her to go no contact with Serevok and she'd never listen and she'd always be talking in fucking Dr Seuss riddles and disappearing and pissing me off.

[witlesswitnesstm]

I have been thrown head first into the Alan Becker fandom, so here are my headcanons for each of the characters

• Blue: He/him, 19ish years old

Only cis guy, totally a stoner, absolutely has blazed it with Yellow, has a genuine problem with netherwartz, has gotten really good at measuring by eye

• Yellow: They/them, 20 years old

Intelligent in most areas except socially and emotionally, has probably figured out a way to staple their glasses to their face so they don’t fall off in battle, second in command when TSC isn’t there

• Green: Any pronouns, 17 years old

The most tiktok fuckboy to ever exist, I think they’d legit love brainrot humor. I think they have the typical story of a confident front but they’re actually a bit of a softie on the inside. That isn’t to say her confidence is fake, but it’s not all there is to her

• Red: She/they, 17 years old (youngest)

The most passionate, feels very strongly about most things, probably debates TSC about a bunch of different topics. I think she has an inferiority complex and is trying to prove herself to everyone, but keeps failing

• TSC/Second: He/they, 18 years old

Aroace, Jaded shonen protagonist, very headstrong, a little sick of everyone’s shit but would sacrifice the world for them, very curious and excited to learn new skills. He can get pretty introspective, and has a math/science > English/history brain, probs also has insomnia cause he’s so tired during the day, probs has ADHD too

• Purple: He/him, probably same age as Red

Trans guy, very closed off, lets no one see his insecurities, seemingly unrequited crush on green, not good with emotions at all. I feel like he mostly relied on his facade of confidence until it just started cracking more and more. He desperately seeks approval from everyone even slightly older than him.

• TCO/Chosen: They/them, mid-late 20s

When they went to the outer net with TDL, they were mostly just looking for some kind of cathartic release from all the anger they held towards Alan, until they realized the consequences it had on real people and websites. They thought they were this kind of liberator figure when in reality, they were just pointlessly destructive. Them and TDL dated for a short period of time after they arrived in the outernet. They only had each other for a while and the shared trauma they had faced together sort of swept them up into a relationship. Also they have PTSD

• TDL/Dark: He/him, slightly younger than TCO

He never let go of his anger. They never went into the outernet with the goal to liberate, they went in to destroy as much as possible so they wouldn’t have to feel the pain of processing what they were made for. He figured if he could finally get rid of all computers, then his code wouldn’t force him to be aggressive anymore. He was genuinely proud of his project and thosught TCO had the same ideals as him. He also has PTSD

• Victim: He/him, early 30s

By far the weakest of the hollowheads, dresses very formally, and was fully aware of what he was doing to Chosen