#out of context comments from my dreams that sounded REALLY cool in-dream

[misscrazyfangirl321]

"You're telling me that [name] looks like some guy who looks like a table?"

[best-kirby-character-tournament]

Ok, to preface

this spawned from the Kirby movie poll and was way too long to be a reply so I'm putting it here. It's very long, you can ignore this if you want, I just had to put this somewhere and I figured as a fellow Kirby fan you might enjoy my crazed ranting.

My original comment:

Imo crystal shards would make for the best adaption because it hits all the right notes that could make good movie:

-squad of loveable and dynamic characters

-premise with a clear goal

-iconic locations

-incredible final boss

-ending without any loose ends

Return to Dreamland (for a movie adaptation) is iffy because I can't imagine any voice for Magolor that doesn't sound absolutely cursed, and I feel like the ending doesn't work as well in a movie format...

(And that's where the original comment ended. I then proceeded to go completely off the rails and wrote like a whole essay on a random concept that will never happen)

(Spoilers for Return to Dreamland Deluxe below)

...UNLESS- hear me out- what if they adapted the bad ending from the True Arena. Not only could this be done in such a way that it is interesting for people who already know the story, but people who don't know the story already or don't pick up on the whole possession aspect still get a conclusion. To them it would feel like an epic battle and though they might question why it feels sad/desperate or why it seems like it's not a true victory, there isn't the same feeling of "where did magolor get yeeted to". (I mean there is- but like, not in the same vein, they could even make the portal at the end more subtle if they wanted) Also just imagine being at the climax of the movie as a kirby fan and all the sudden you notice something is different.. familiar.. and then BOOM Magolor Soul. Perhaps the Magolor battle happens like normal but then once the characters beat the regular boss fight instead of ending it transitions to the eyeless phase of Magolor Soul. I'm not sure exactly how it would work out pacing wise. I also have no idea how they would choose to write the ending, but this leaves room for them to write an ending that is slightly different. Plus it could end on a bittersweet tone (which is like, my personal favorite type of ending.)

I think as a representation of the Kirby franchise this would actually work really well because you have a lot of staples of the modern Kirby games

-the dream quartet/dream team entirely present (something that crystal shards would be missing)

-A story with a relatively tame beginning that ramps up a whole lot towards the end

-Dreamland/Popstar as a primary setting (not necessarily a staple of modern Kirby but important for getting the audience to care about the world Kirby & co. are protecting especially if it's the first Kirby movie)

-A soul boss

-Another Dimension

-Mentions of the ancients

-A tragedy (I mean we've gotten a few happy endings but there is still tragedy that occurs along the way)

-A what if/alternate universe scenario

Finally, and this is the last point I swear! Doing this would clearly set the movie in an alternate timeline that can't interfere with the canon of the games. Which would make the movie a lot more enjoyable as a fan because even if it's "canon" it's not in the same timeline/universe. Much like the "what if" modes it can provide more context/substance to the main story without ever taking place in the main universe.

Anyways, that's it. Thank you for coming to my TED talk

Context: The Kirby Movie Poll

Anon this is so cool!! :0 /pos

Mod is obsessing over this- thank you for sharing this with them! :D /pos

[darkshrimpemotions]

hello!

I would like to ask you something about the show Supernatural. So, I have almost finished watching Chilling Adventures of Sabrina on Netflix and I wanted to watch something else. Would you recommend watching Supernatural? And is watching Supernatural worth it? Could you tell me your face things about the show and your least favorite things? Thank you :)

Hoo boy friend. This is. A complicated question.

I'll start with the easiest parts to answer and work up to the hard parts.

My favorite things about Supernatural?

The characters. The aesthetics of the early seasons. The way folklore and urban legends are utilized in the early seasons. The music. The way the characters get to grow and evolve so much because you get so many years with them. The little details. The themes of found family, resilience, and hope in the face of impossible odds. The incredible coolness and creativity of some of the ideas the writers came up with over the years. The critiques of religion and religious power structures. The road trip format. The way the show, at its best, is utterly unforgettable writing, editing, sound design, music, acting, and set design. Most of the cast. The fandom experience. The fact that nothing ever stays dead and buried, least of all the show that ended over 2 years ago.

My least favorite things about Supernatural?

The inconsistency in the show's quality from season to season and episode to episode. The way side characters are forgotten, killed off, or treated as unimportant. The way the show was never allowed to fully evolve past its season 1 formula.

The lack of representation. The underlying racism, queerphobia, and xenophobia in the show's premise and execution that were unfortunately typical of network television from the early 2000s but that the show never fully unpacked or addressed in much later seasons. The carelessness with which certain writers handled certain character arcs and themes. The way so much of the creativity ends up being wasted potential. The lack of creativity in the monster design. The utter disrespect of that godforsaken ending.

Would I recommend watching Supernatural?

This is where it gets rough. And I'll just say...it depends.

Do you want a silly little show you can just watch, take at face value, and then forget about when the television is off? If so, Supernatural may not be the show for you. I mean you CAN consume it that way, but doing so practically guarantees you are experiencing the worst possible version of it.

Do you want a multi-layered 15-year fever dream of a metatextual hyperfixation that you can really sink your teeth into, analyze, compare show to scripts to writer and actor comments to fandom takes and get something new and contradictory out of every time you revisit it?

Do you want characters who will become like dear friends and break your heart and mend it too? Do you want an unparalleled media experience that is still ongoing and a fandom that verges on unhinged but mostly in a fun way? Do you want to dive headfirst into a show so insane that none of the actors who worked on it can be normal about it to this day?

Do you want context for some of the best goddamn fanfic you will ever read in your life, and the largest ship on AO3 in terms of sheer number of fics for one pairing, literally more fic for this one pairing than you could read in a single human lifetime?

Then yeah. I would highly recommend watching Supernatural.

Is Supernatural worth it?

Well...that depends. In addition to the questions above, consider...How much mess are you willing to put up with from a piece of media? How much lore external to the actual show are you willing to consume in order to have a full understanding of the story? And how unhinged are you prepared to be over a couple white dudes from Kansas and their grumpy-sweet Midwestern angel? How many friends do you want to make over a TV show? How ready are you to hear your existing friends and family beg you to talk about ANYTHING else for a while?

And depending on how you answered all of those questions

...would you like me to send you the mp4 files for the first several seasons? Because the Netflix version edited a lot of the show's original music, and it sucks.

[drzootsuit]

Hi, I saw ur comment on the AI post while combing thru the notes. I’ve been seeing a lot of gorgeous architectural images come up in my feed and I’m discovering a lot of it is done with AI. I remain on the fence abt whether it’s cool or not, or whether to use it, bc im uneducated on what the ramifications could be. Do u think if we didn’t live in a capitalistic shitworld where artists didn’t have sell their creativity and their labor to live, that AI would still hinder or push out human creative expression? Is it’s shittiness inherent or is it just bad under these circumstances?

This is actually a really good question, and a very worthwhile chain of thought. While I endeavor to be thoughtful it's all too easy for my frothy-self to descend to loom smashing, so this is an angle worth considering. My opinion on things is heavily colored by my upbringing. It may sound pretentious, but for various reasons, I consider 'artist' as one of my cultural designations. For those who have taken sociology 101, I consider it one of my inherent status' rather than an ascribed status. Call it what you want, but for me, it's in my bones.

My problems with AI artwork are slightly hysterical at points as a result, but let's start with the most sensible note that you bring forth; the fact that we are within the system we are.

Our current form of capitalism is based around an eternal cancerous expansion of profit, and if one follows certain industries, (in my case, the games industry) one can easily see the problems with always trying to grow bigger in a finite world. Companies firing whole development teams right before shipping so that they don't have to pay them for actually completing the project, and other such acts of corporate autocannibalism are the signs of an animal that is nearing the cliff edge and begun choosing which of its own internal organs it can claw out in order to make itself lighter.

Art has always been at war with money. Making art requires money, but the people that control money tend not to understand art. This is obviously a gross tribalistic simplification, but the point is that the two need each other, can achieve great things in concert... and absolutely hate each other.

In a perfect money world, art and artists would be eliminated entirely. I speak with proof behind this: look at the NFT bubble from earlier this year. This was an attempt to boil artwork down to a stock price. Numbers to be traded and nothing more. The art attached to NFT's was crude, designed as such to carry the message of "the artwork doesn't matter. Only the money that makes it up."

So. When we look at AI, it becomes clear: a machine that can spit out art perfectly to order with no involvement from those annoying artists who demand respect, freedom, and worst of all, pay? This is a wet dream for the money. Under the current system of corporate function, AI art is one of the single most dangerous tools yet created. It stands against artwork, it stands against labor and negotiation in all forms, and it stands against the idea that art is worth anything more than cash.

But that wasn't your question. Do I, personally, consider AI art valuable if viewed without the context of the war of art vs money?

Me personally? No. This is where I will appeal to emotion so hard it will make anyone versed in debate weep enough to fill an overly-salty swimming pool.

In my view of things, Art is the result of every stimulus we recieve. Everything. Every single thing any of our senses receives goes into a huge bubbling rendering vat, and then we use that bubbling material to sculpt new works to portray our experiences and view of the world.

As such, I don't think it's worth using AI art as a jumping off point. Yes, it can provide some gummy material that can kickstart creative impulses, but to anyone that strapped for ideas, I would beg that they instead experience more things.

Hideo Kojima has spoken about his philosophy that an artist must always be adding new things to their rendering vat of experience, and I agree with him. no matter who you are, you haven't seen everything. Even within the purviews you obsess over. I love video games dearly, and even I have not played every single one. There will always be something new within the things you love, wether those things are sci-fi novels or urban architecture or tax filing systems. There is always something new to learn and see, and the pursuit of knowledge, of fresh experiences, of new people and new conversations about new topics, will, if you are an artist, spark something within you. And I think that shows what I think is another danger that AI art poses to artists: complacency.

Life begins at the end of our comfort zone. Artists must by nature be curious about the world and her people if they are to dream up stories within and without her boundaries. If an artist is able to punch in familiar keywords and receive a computer-made blob of associated goo made from stolen, unaccredited, scraped work, that artist has robbed themselves of the chance to examine themselves and the world around them.

Also, that's really the big issue. This shit comes from somewhere. The AI needs to be fed existing images in order to know what an image looks like, and there is no possible way for that to be done in a way that does not denigrate the work or the artists who make it. Even if that work is a cell-phone photo of a stack of pancakes, it is wrong for the machine to silently harvest it, and due to the other issues, I struggle to find any arrangement I am happy with even with consent and transparency.

So overall, while I think the technology is very impressive, and I can't blame people for getting excited about it, within my worldview, I am forced to be a curmudgeon. My view of art, the world, and humanity requires that I thank the programmers for their work, shake their hands on their success, marvel at the power of the technology, and then push the server cabinet off the edge of the building. It is a danger to human identity and the development of such.

Loom-smashers ahoy.

Thank you for your question! I absolutely love writing essays about things I'm impassioned about, and this was a blast.

[clockworksteel]

Well, it turns out declaring "defense mode" doesn't turn off one's brain, so I'm posting to clear my thoughts again. (The main difference in my activities this month seems to have been fewer visits to the "Cis Stuff" bookmarks folder and more to the exmormon subreddit, which I normally check more often near trips to my parents' house anyway)

I listened to REFLECT - Gawr Gura with the subtitles for the first time recently and it was kinda funny to be like, "Oh, a song about leaving your old self behind... how, uh, interesting." Seriously though, it seems the past few months I've developed the habit of noticing when individual lines out of context sound kinda trans, but this is the first time the whole song has been easily viewable as a trans allegory, although that's still not what it's about: comments indicate it's about a redesign of the VTuber singing the song. In terms of quotes I especially like the segment that, according to the subtitles, translates to "Tell me if I can ever be the me you wanted me to be. No lies, but also no truths. A life of no transparency is so much more smooth."

I ended up thinking about possible names some more. While I don't dislike "Alice" itself, it seems to be a kinda common choice (or maybe I'm just getting a weird sample of the transfem community). Also I think more and more I'd like something nonbinary. It occurred to me, though, that if I was going to make a screen name out of the new name I'd probably use the "clockwork" prefix still to make it unique, so the name should actually start with S, not C, to still have the CS overall (not sure why I like those letters so much: it was originally just a desire to have the same abbreviation as Computer Science). I haven't looked over any name lists yet, but Skye (like Paula's second Don't Care name in Earthbound) came to mind as an S name and then Sora quickly followed as an idea of course. I don't think I'm brave enough for a foreign language name strongly associated with one specific game series, but Sora is gender neutral at least? I mean, if I trust Sora of Sora (SUGURI 2) is a reasonable way to use the name, and she’s cool. Anyway, I'll look at some lists next year I guess with this new direction.

I re-remembered one of the things that I remembered during Thanksgiving break. Early on in my current job there was an e-mail about a charity fundraiser thing that sort of caught my interest, although I think I didn't end up seeing how to sign up and also it got rained out anyway or something. But, uh, it was about men walking a mile or something in high heels and that sounded kinda appealing. Outside of that context I'm probably not brave enough for that type of footwear though (plus I think even if I fully transitioned it wouldn't be my style).

I think I had another dream where I was a girl (age unclear from context so maybe woman, but “girl” kinda sounds better to me). The focus of the dream was on some really weak psychic powers though. Like, if someone was looking at a card I could, with about 10 seconds of concentration, percieve the card as if I was looking at the same side they were. Anyway, there was just one moment in particular where I reached down to fix my socks and at that moment I just felt really feminine in my clothes, though I'm pretty sure it was just what I've been wearing while awake. They felt different somehow.

[hangovercurse]

Nerd Love

After years of working together, Pete still manages to break you.

Request: “Hi! Can I get a Pete imagine where you guys work on SNL together and you have few skits together and during one of them you can’t stop laughing”

Pete Davidson x Reader

Warnings: Cursing

Word Count: 2237

“Live from New York, it’s Saturday night!” You hear Kate and the host of the week announce before Lorne motions that the cameras had cut for commercial break. You and Pete had a sketch together in exactly 12 minutes and 45 seconds, and you were trying to cool your nerves.

You loved your job, writing on SNL was something you had dreamed of since you were in middle school, and now it was your reality. Of course, it was hard, the hours were long and the work was demanding. But having Pete by your side made it all bearable.

You had met on your first day, getting hired one season after him. You two were deemed the “babies” of the cast because you were the youngest, so naturally you got paired up. A lot.

At first it bothered you that you only really ever worked with one person, but after your first few episodes you grew to love Pete. Your energies matched so well, and whenever you wrote together you easily built of each other.

After 6 years of working on the show together, you had become really close friends. You were with him through all of his hard times, and you were one of the few people he let visit him in rehab. In return, he stuck by your side through everything, even when the internet tried to cancel you for an interview that was taken completely out of context.

You couldn’t pinpoint when, but at some point, you had developed real feelings for him. Obviously, you’d never tell him, not wanting to mess up your amazing friendship. But they still flourished, especially when you would be up until 6 am writing sketches and goofing around in the writer’s room. Of course, the comments from fans didn’t help your feelings either. They loved you guys. Anytime you posted Pete on your social media, they were all over it.

But you guys had denied the dating rumors countless times since they’d started 5 years ago. Even though having to hear the words “we’re just friends” over and over killed you.

You were lost in thought when Pete came up behind you, hands grabbing your shoulders and shaking you slightly. “Ready bookworm?” He asked, moving to stand next to you.

“Only if you are, Mr. jock-man.” You laughed, rolling your eyes.

The sketch you and Pete had written was a young couple on a really fancy date to celebrate their 6-month anniversary. Your character was going on the date with Kyle Mooney’s character. Both of you were the stereotypical nerd couple with glasses, suspenders, and everything else. Pete was playing your waiter, who obviously did not give a shit about his job. He was the stereotypical jock character. Your character was super attracted to him and kept paying attention to him. He loved the attention and would do things like show you his (reaaaallllyyy) lame tattoos, tell you about sports, and everything that nerds don’t like. Kyle obviously didn’t like that and kept trying to get your attention in the weirdest of ways.

It was pretty funny in rehearsals, almost too funny. Seeing Pete act so out of character was hilarious to you and having to overdramatically flirt with him felt ridiculous. You barely made it through in rehearsals without laughing, so you had to hope you could do it on stage.

“Y/N, Pete, and Kyle. You’re up.” The stagehand told you, and you grabbed Kyle’s hand, walking to the stage.

The sketch started and you were doing okay. You and Kyle had your conversation about your anniversary and your favorite Star Wars movies. But then Pete walked onto the stage in his ridiculous waiter getup. His white shirt was unbuttoned at the top and wrinkled, his black pants hanging low on his hips, and his apron only half tied. You bit your tongue to keep yourself together.

“Welcome to White Oyster, what do you want?” He said in a very bored voice. You acted interested, eyes raking up and down him. You felt ridiculous and had to swallow a laugh.

Kyle pushed his glasses up on his nose, “me and my girlfriend are here for our six-month anniversary, so we would like the couple’s special.” His nerd voice was incredible.

“Okay. Anything else?” Pete’s voice remained monotone.

You bit your lip, “do you recommend anything else?” You asked, trying to sound nerd-sexy.

You could see Pete struggling to contain a smile. “I mean, whatever. Food here is shitty anyways.”

Kyle’s mouth gaped, “can you not speak like that around my girlfriend, please?”

The sketch continued with you making flirty remarks towards Pete, him being very bored and unaware, and Kyle trying to direct your attention. After your second attempt at flirting with him, you could feel yourself breaking down.

“So, I was wondering. Do you have any tattoos?” You asked him, your elbow on the table, twirling a piece of your hair in your finger.

Pete nodded, pulling up his shirt to show the big MOM tattoo on his side that was drawn on earlier. You felt a giggle slip out, completely out of character.

You tried to cover it up and continue, “wow, you really must love your mom, huh?” Another chuckle leaving your mouth, “that’s kinda hot.”

Kyle looked at you with wide eyes, “Linda!” He screamed the name of your character

Pete shrugged, “Nah, I did it myself. It says WOW, like world of warcraft.”

You couldn’t help the laugh that fell out of your mouth, and one followed from Pete. This was a disaster. You tried to regain your composure, knowing Kyle was probably really frustrated right now. “I just think tattoos are so cool. You don’t have any, do you Darren?” You asked Kyle’s character, eyes narrowing at him. You heard a chuckle from Pete beside you and you bit your cheek.

Kyle faked looking flustered, “N-no. But I have all 7 of the Harry Potter books and 4 collectors wands.”

Pete nodded, “Oh cool, I have a Harry Potter tattoo.” He pulled up his arm to show his real tattoo.

Your eyes went wide, “Wow. That’s way cooler.” You batted your eyes up at Pete, making him break even more. Watching his face go red and his mouth lifting up with laughter made you squeeze your eyes to hide your laughter.

“But babe!” Kyle was starting to break now too. “You love my Harry Potter stuff!”

“It’s cool, I guess.”

The sketch continued with you and Pete laughing anytime you looked at each other, your energies feeding into one another. You both tried really hard to keep it together, but something about flirting with Pete made you so giddy inside that you couldn’t help it.

Eventually the scene ended and the lights went down. You knew the cameras probably caught an extra few seconds after the close of the sketch, meaning they caught you and Pete breaking down into fits of laughter.

You somehow made it offstage, faces red. “We’re so gonna get fired.” He said through giggles.

“I’m so sorry,” You started, trying to take breaths through your laughs. “I don’t know why I couldn’t hold it together.”

“You looked ridiculous.” Pete laughed, pointing at your glasses.

 After the show you made your way back to your dressing room, changing into your day clothes and getting ready to leave. You finally checked your phone, which had been off the duration of the show.

Your twitter feed was filled with clips of you and Pete laughing through the sketch.

They’re so cute together #goals

Love their friendship

Get you someone who looks at you like Pete looks at Y/N

Poor Kyle ☹

The way they can’t get through a skit because they’re too in love

And they say they aren’t dating…

Can’t believe the unprofessionalism

Pete and Y/N are dating… no one can convince me otherwise

The flirting!!! The looks!!!

I would like Pete and Y/N to get married and adopt me please

Your heart melted at all the comments, a sigh leaving your mouth. You watched the video and noticed the way he looked at you anytime you broke character, it was the same way you looked at him all the time.

You shook your head, convincing yourself you were imagining it. You couldn’t afford to think like that, it would ruin your friendship.

A knock at your door pulled you out of your thoughts, “Y/N, wanna go grab a drink with me?” It was Pete.

“You can come in.” You called, and he did so. “I don’t know, I was thinking I might just go home. I’m pretty tired.” You really just wanted to go home and sort through your feelings for the umpteenth time that month.

He nodded, watching as you tossed various items in your bag, “you were great tonight.”

You giggled, “Pete I barely made it through our sketch, it was a disaster.”

He rolled his eyes, walking over to where you were at your vanity. “I messed up too, but it was fine. No one noticed.”

You leaned into the mirror, fixing your makeup slightly. Pete was very close to you, watching you through said mirror. “Trust me, Petey. Everyone noticed.” You laughed, standing up straight again.

Your back was inches from his chest, and you could suddenly feel a different sort of tension in the air. But you didn’t make any move to shift away from him. He gave you a quizzical look through the mirror and you took out your phone, turning to him.

You took in a breath at the proximity. You weren’t close enough to kiss or anything, but his chest was only a few inches away from you. You shook away the thoughts you were having and opened your twitter, letting him scroll through the tweets. He chuckled and shook his head as he read them, eventually handing you your phone back.

“People really like us together.” He said, smiling.

You rolled your eyes, “They have for the past like, 6 years, Petey. We’re funny.” You smiled moving to turn back to grab your bag, but his hand grabbed your hip and made you stay facing him.

Your mind went blank at his touch, trying to figure out if this was real or if you were just really really tired. “That’s not what I meant.” He said, quieter.

You laughed, looking away from his eyes, not really knowing what to say. “I mean, people have always thought… stuff like that.” You mumbled, trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

Pete’s eyes were searching your face, taking in every detail. “Have you ever thought about, like, why people think we’re…” He trailed off, but you knew what he was implying.

You blushed, looking down at your toes. “I mean, I guess we’re together a lot and we get on well. People just like to make assumptions, I guess.”

“Yeah, and I’m sure it doesn’t help that I can never keep my eyes off of you, even when the cameras are rolling.” He said, a chuckle following.

You smiled, looking back up at him, your brain trying to process what he just said. After a few moments of silence, you spit out a “why are you bringing this up?” Your voice was soft, almost a whisper.

He sighed, hand moving from your hip and rubbing his face lightly. “I don’t know, I’ve just been thinking a lot.” You gave him a look that told him to continue. “I mean, I think it’s kind of obvious that I like you.”

Your mouth dropped, “obvious? Pete Davidson you have been far from obvious about your feelings.” You really thought you were dreaming, hearing those words from him was just impossible.

“Are you kidding me? How many sketches do I have to write just so I can flirt with you? Have you not picked up on the fact that literally every sketch I write for you to be in we’re playing some sort of couple?” He laughed, stepping towards you, and grabbing your hips again. “Dude, and I thought I was oblivious to this shit.”

“In my defense I’ve spent the past like 6 years trying to convince myself you didn’t feel the same way.” You said, a smile crossing your face.

Pete rolled his eyes, leaning closer to you, “now why would you wanna do that?” There was a playful tone in his voice, but you couldn’t help your serious answer.

“Because I didn’t wanna read the signs wrong and mess up our friendship.” You sighed.

Pete’s smile softened, “Y/N I literally want to kill you right now for making me wait this long.” You giggled, leaning closer to him. “But you’re cute so I guess I can let it slide.”

“If I kiss you will it make up for it?” You asked, batting your eyelashes.

Pete pretended to think about it, “hmmm, maybe. You should definitely give it a shot to see.”

You rolled your eyes, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into you. Your lips touched his and it was like everything in the universe suddenly aligned. His mouth moved against yours in soft, perfect motions. His hands pulled you closer into him, your bodies molding together like it was meant to be.

When you finally pulled away for breath, he pressed his forehead against yours, a wide grin on his face. “So, about those drinks?”

[wistfulrat]

a 4-part rec list of my fave drarry fics - the thrillers, dramas, soft bois, and wankbanks getting me through 2020′s shitstorm

[the soft boi list is here and truly i’m not surprised this rec is going to be the longest bc if there’s one thing a bitch is going to do, it’s yearn.

as always! if you love a fic, follow the authors, leave kudos & comments, send them nice msgs bc free art is still labor xoxo]

part 3: soft bois

mood: for when I need respite, a balm to the all-consuming shittiness of life

includes: fluff, comfort, low-stakes, slow-burn fics. a wistful look, a rainy morning, an unexpected grace, a stupidly disarming joke. i could live inside these fics. the smallness of human lives removed from the site of that which hurts & irreparably changes. the story-equivalent of a deep breath after a long day. pregnant silences & pensive mundanity & shy smiles. banter with bite but without the cruelty. the color lavender. weirdly whimsical. soft fics are not necessarily conflict-averse (no drarry fic rly can be, considering the context) but, they offer the reader a generous distance from the initial harm. they’re the quiet cleaning up after a storm. sometimes healing is an exacting surgical knife and other times it’s a slow scabbing. you read these fics to be reassured that the way forward is not always ruthless. and honestly?? they deserve a semblance of peace godDAMmit.

The Way Down by @letteredlettered - 65k - T “and I thought that if someone talked to you as though you were a human being you might—maybe you could act like one” --the way i think about this line daily. the characterization of draco in this fic is one my favorites bc he’s earnest and neurotic and tired of harry’s shit. which is to say, he cares so so much. and harry doesn’t know what to do with that bc he’s got a monster in his chest and lives as a recluse. but they both humanize each other in ways no one else can. “you’re just a person” has to be some kind of drarry ethics of belonging and it makes me CRY. -

Little Deaths and How to Avoid Them by @greaseonmymouth and dustmouth - 96k - T “Maybe it’s not about deserving it? Maybe you just get to have it anyway. . .I’m allowing myself to want something and to let myself have it and to fight for it.” --harry runs a daycare and also works at a library. draco spends a lot of time in said library. they bond over sci-fi books and therapy anecdotes and quiet philosophical conversations held over cafeteria soup. and harry’s struggling to understand his asexuality. draco’s learning how to live with anxiety and depression. they both want to be deserving of love. incredible fic with beautiful art by dustmouth. - 

Open for Repairs by @drarrytrash - 35k - T “A few leaves rustle in the gutter and the muggle world pays no mind to them, to two lost boys holding on for dear life.” --all of their fics feel exactly like this. like you’ve been allowed to look at something private, tender, unexpected. draco, known abba fan, is a repairman in the muggle world & harry can’t stop breaking thrifted things in order to see him? say less, i'm thERE. also “I think I have a crush on you” goddddd  - other faves by them: Counting Down By Ten - 2k - T: draco’s stepped outside of the party for a smoke. harry follows him bc of course he does. i could read this 100 times and not get tired of it. - Clouds That Veil the Midnight Moon - 36k - E: FUCKING HILARIOUS I CACKLED THROUGH THE WHOLE THING. draco’s wolfy problem and harry helping him and harry being flustered by how much he likes draco and draco’s hot heroic moment. shutup it’s perfect. “He almost asks if Draco ever gets tired of being a miserable complaining shit all the time, but he knows that he, personally, never ever gets tired of being a miserable complaining shit.” and “It’s the traumas,” Harry says gravely” --lines that live rent free in my head -

Harry Potter and the Future He Doesn't Really Want, Thanks by seefin - 70k - E “That was the only logical thing to do here, wasn’t it? It was the next step, it was the end of hurting each other and the beginning of the exact opposite.” --harry lives with luna and neville and also he dreams about the future sometimes? and he keeps running into draco. draco thinks this is sus as hell, until he doesn’t. feat. taxi rides, museums, cinemas, rooftop conversations beneath a lunar eclipse, mid-sex innocuous banter, draco and harry discussing nicki minaj. this fic charmed my ass off. seefin writes the most effortlessly hilarious dialogues. i smiled at my phone like an idiot at least 7 times. -  other faves by them: Wild - 93k - E: “he liked feeling needed, for the things that he was needed for back at the house in Ireland. For cooking and gardening and driving. Easy things.” --this shit makes me cry it’s so good. harry lives in Ireland with these three brilliant, hilarious, wandless witches and draco’s a potions student who's come to study under one of the housemates and the boys have so much shit to work through but their love becomes so tender and honest. draco yells at harry a lot and harry lets him and they both keep each other grounded in something real and fuCK.  - Divination for Dickheads - 7k - G: “I’m terrible at having crushes. I’ve never played anything cool a day in my life.” -- oh harry, we knOW. a bus ride, a fortune teller, an aquarium birthday party. god i love this fic. -

Modern Love by @tackytigerfic​ - 61k - E “But we’ve worked so hard at this, haven’t we? Yeah, I know it’s a horror to have to talk about it, but fuck it. We’re friends now, but it took so long to get here. Have you ever had to work so hard at something before?" --the steady blossoming of their friendship in this fic is so goddamn beautiful i want to yell. it’s draco and harry learning to trust each other and the whole thing unfolds so slowly, in this whimsical mix of london streets, wizarding politics, church halls feat. a Hot vicar, and a magical antique shop owner who’s married to literal poseidon?? goD the environment of this fic. immaculate. [also there’s a tender shower scene that makes me cry every single fucking time so if you read this fic pls dm me so we can be embarrassing about it together tbh] -

Nice Things by aideomai - 22k - M “He kept waiting for the weird shock of touch to not knock him clean out of his head, leave him quiet and warm and happy.” --8th year. harry forms an unlikely friendship with draco that begins with smoking weed on a windowsill. harry is touch-starved and draco touches him like he touches all his close friends - like it’s easy. the quiet affection in this fic, the way harry burrows himself into touch bc he’s been without it for his entire life. reading this is like being held. -

Running On Air by @tinyhistory​ - 74k - T “do you remember when we were eleven?” --alexa play coldplay’s the scientist it’s sad girl hours and we’re about to fucking yearn. you’ve seen this fic rec on every drarry list under the sun and i'm here to be redundant. the hype is so goddamn real. this story is a lyrical masterpiece held together by lines that act as refrains that will rattle around your brain until you die, probably. draco’s been missing for 3yrs. harry goes to find him. it’s their odyssey of homecoming. -

Title of Their Sex Tape by @cibeewastaken - 12k - T “But Draco, Draco was everything but boring. Draco made sitting in the rain watching an empty house fun.” --auror partners pining and draco being eccentric and harry being very earnestly gay about draco’s eccentricities!! god this fic is so genuinely fun skskd feat. undercover missions, murderous faeries, a book heist, a stunning navy dress, harry’s eyelashes. -

How We Throw Our Shadows Down by @thistle-verse - 14k - T “Draco is about to say something else— to thank Potter for what he’d done, however poorly— but Harry is smiling at him again, and it’s so soft and perfect that Draco holds in any inadequate words, lest he spoil it.” --draco collects tea cozies and of course harry has the one he wants. the sad and tender gays are at it again feat. conversations in the rain at a train station, melancholy Blaise, muggle photos, wizarding e-bay, the Dursleys.  -

Helix by Saras_Girl - 92k - E “Draco sighs in his sleep and Harry clings on to consciousness, needing to hold on, to give this tiny, insignificant moment the attention it deserves” --I think maybe you can describe every soft Saras_Girl story as giving tiny, insignificant moments the attention they deserve. like, this is an 8th year fic about snails and it’s full of whimsy, grief, compassion, and easy humor. an absolute must-read author in this genre if you want languorous, episodic fics full of distinct OCs and affectionate creatures. - other faves by them: Light up the Night Sky - 98k - M “Draco, sometimes you make my head feel like soup” --the one where harry is a fireworks artist and has a pet chameleon named ken. draco is on the wizarding arts council. they both pine like hell. - Headlights in the Snow - 71k - M “they stare at each other in silence, Harry’s heart beating so loud in his chest that he thinks the biddies must be able to hear it over the sound of their card game.” --the one where draco drives the knight bus and carts around the biddy club, a group of rambunctious old ladies who knit and drink tea and gossip. harry can’t help but fall in love with the everything about this. -

Follow the Water by @xanthippe74 - 38k - T “Harry’s heavy thoughts lift at the sight, like dark clouds blown away from the sun by the wind. The tent doesn’t feel so cramped and stifling now. It feels cozy. And safe. It’s the same feeling that Harry gets when he’s at the Burrow for Sunday roasts, when a group of people who care for each other deeply are crammed into too-small a space.” --harry wanders to the lovegood house on a sunday afternoon. he’s baffled to see that luna’s taken pansy, greg, and draco under her wing. what follows is a summer of forest walks, scavenger hunts, gardening, water fights, odd cakes, faerie rings, and picnics. so many picnics. i love the pace of this fic, the innocent return to childhood things, the way luna brings out the best in all her friends. reluctantly soft slytherins are just *chefs kiss*!! -

Going Postal (A 125pg comic) by dustmouth - T what. a. beautiful. ass. comic. the wizarding fashion, the textures, the character design!! harry travels a lot for his job as a resourcer. draco works in the regulations dept. they pine like a bunch of lovesick idiots via field report notes. god i love dustmouth’s art. -

All the Earnest Young Men by @tepre​ - 29k - E “Draco is twenty-seven layers of personality wrapped up in drama and humour, and a wit so sharp it still stings when he doesn’t see it coming. But there is something below that, too. Something that makes Harry ache just looking at him.” --the way i would lay down my little life for tepre’s characterization of draco, whom invented the word earnest. he’s a magical art theory expert and portraits are disappearing all over London and harry’s the auror assigned to this case. and well. they’re both so very avoidant about how gay they are for each other and it’s like!! shutup and kiss!! which they do in fact, shutup and kiss.  -

Trenches by sara_holmes - 3k - M “Somewhere in the distant part of his mind that hasn't frozen solid, he thinks that maybe he and Draco are about to become more than auror partners, smoking buddies, wine-mates and co-inhabitants of a snow filled trench somewhere in western Scotland.” --the plot line here is literally “it’s cold and i need a fucking cigarette” but let me tell you how I never tire of the shared loaded-silences of two emotionally repressed gays. -

The Years Before Love by lomonaaeren - 13k - M “That’s one of the meanings of peace, he thinks, as Hermione hugs him...That he can do things slowly, softly, without worrying that they won’t be there tomorrow.” --andromeda taking harry under her wing and harry finding solace in teddy. narcissa and draco showing up and the tentative relationships that slowly develop in the quiet calm of andromeda’s house. found families and kisses in the snow and special xmas gifts ugh what’s not to love -

The Moon Looks Lovely Tonight by Omi_Ohmy - 35k - M “I want this to be a house where people are welcome, where they don’t have to be any one way or another” --in which harry collects lost things--owls, best friends, inept bakers, potions experimenters--and turns the mausoleum that is grimmauld place into a home. feat. your fave drarry tropes like shared-beds and reluctant waltzing partners. -

[part 1: thrillers | part 2: dramas | part 3: soft bois | part 4: wankbanks]

[nctsjiho]

JiHo vs Geo (NCT JiHo’s Duality)

Fan Video by ‘NeoVerse’ on Youtube

(indented text = comments added by the maker of the video, in this case NeoVerse) So we all know JiHo. One of NCT’s rappers and dancers. She’s always portrayed as cool, confident, intimidating, so for today, let me introduce you to Geo.

The cute, easily embarrassed 00 liner, whom everyone in NCT (and the fandom) has a soft spot for. Though whenever Geo comes out she’s usually getting teased by the boys...

^^ Let’s get started!

[JiHo Vlive ft. Taeyong & Taeil 190407]

“So we’ll be in America soon for the second leg of the Tour.” Taeyong said. “Are you excited?” JiHo asked looking at the oldest of the three. “Yes, we’ll finally get to see all our overseas fans. And we’re even going to see Johnny’s home-”The 3 of them looked off camera once loud noise started to fill the room. The voices obviously belonged to Dream. Taeil and Taeyong shrugged it off and Taeil continued to talk. The noise wasn’t too loud, but it was still a bit distracting non the less.

JiHo continued looking off camera every once in a while. It looked like she finally made eye contact with one of the young boys, because she squinted her eyes a bit more and suddenly the room became silent besides for Taeil talking. The girl gave the tinniest nod before looking back at the camera and joining the two other men in their conversation.

In the background you could hear a door close just after a few silent “sorry’s” were heard. 

JiHo: the NCT member who can make Dream, who never stop talking, shut up without even saying anything. The power this girl has

[‘NCT - RESONANCE Pt. 2’ Departure Ver. Jacket Behind the Scene]

Loud cheers filled the echo-y room as JiHo walked in. All the 23 boys were already in their spots, but the girl had walked in late (for an unknown reason). She hides her face in embarrassment as she approaches Renjun who was standing on the far right side of the bleacher-like structure. “JiHo needs to go up one level!” One of the staff members yelled.

JiHo gets up on the structure a hand helping her up, it was Johnny.  As she stands up completely she notices she is standing between Johnny and Sungchan. “Please tell my I’m not standing between these two giants.” She looks in the direction of the staff, face full of concern. Her comment causing almost everyone to laugh. “Why? Don’t you like standing between us?” Johnny teased poking at her side. She squints her eyes at the taller man, triggering a few more laughs out of him.

The director instructs the girl to stand between Ten and Shotaro on the other side of the structure and she quickly walks over to them, almost tripping on her way over, where Ten greets her with a big hug. “Ah so cute~” Mark cooed, looking at the embarrassed girl.

[NCT World 2.0 ep 4]

It’s really no secret that JiHo is a very athletic person. She works out and tries out new sports for fun. So even though she might not have the strength as her male colleagues (well most of them, sorry Kun), she was definitely one of, if not the most, agile members in the group.

When they announced the next game, JiHo’s team mates had look slightly worried. The vault was already at 1.70 m which was already taller than her, though JiHo would never openly admit that.

It’s only when the vault is at 2 m high that the members realise the smaller girl had cleared all the previous heights successfully. She’s now standing at a couple meters away to sprint towards the vault.

“We didn’t expect JiHo to make it this far.” Defconn commented. “She’s definitely an ace.” Kim Hwan, the other presenter, added.

We’re talking about the same JiHo right? This girl can literally carry her members on her back!

“Wow~ Look at noona’s face.” Jisung pointed out to his team mates, who unfortunately didn’t make it. The girl had her eyes set on the vault. Completely focused she put up her fist. “JiHo, challenge!” Her first few steps were big but slow, then her pace started picking up, until she had reached the vault.

“Ji-” The camera picks up the shocked faces of the boys as her team members jump to her aid. JiHo was laying on her back on the blue mat, the vault in pieces all around her, with one of the pieces almost making its way towards the girl’s face. Thankfully because of the concerned boys’ fast reflexes they helped avoid a big accident.

“Are you okay?” Johnny asked now that they were standing again. “I think I can make it though...” She furrowed her brow, shocking the boys with her comment. Despite all the boys’ protest JiHo was one again standing at the starting position to run towards the vault.

Taeyong stood up in a panic. “She isn’t going to try again right-” “JiHo, challenge!” And without a second of hesitation she ran towards the vault, 5 boys ready to save her in case she was to fail again. Once her feet hit the mat she looked at the camera with a smirk on her face and a fist in the air. She had cleared the vault.

“I swear to God her confidence is going to be the dead of me.” Taeyong let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

[NCT World 2.0 ep 2]

JiHo’s challenge was to do a rope skipping routine. Since she has been rope skipping for as long as she can remember, it wasn’t really that hard. The challenging part came from that she had to learn a specific routine and execute it perfectly within 10 minutes.

After 3 minutes she had the short routine down, some moves were slightly more difficult, but nothing she couldn’t do.

“JiHo, challenge!” She yelled out. She pulled of the routine effortlessly. Or that’s what she thought at least. Everyone had jumped to their feet, cheering JiHo on those who never saw JiHo rope skipping completely in awe at what she just pulled off. “Let’s go-” Mark had yelled, just before the lights turned red. “Mission failed.” The deep voice boomed over the speakers. Everyone stunned, they could’ve sworn she just did it right. But after review JiHo realised her mistake.

She stood closely to Jaemin’s seat who asked her if she got the routine down now. JiHo nodded while she absentmindedly swung around the jump rope. A particularly hard swing causing the rope to round her back and hit her left arm harshly. The loud sound of the rope hitting her skin was accompanied with a wince at the sting. Jaemin had jumped up asking if JiHo was okay. The girl had slapped her hand against her reddening skin before she started whining that it hurt.

Jaemin took the opportunity to baby her. “Aigoo~ You need to be more careful.” He said rubbing her arms, before pulling her into a hug. The boys who sat a bit further away had started laughing once they realised the girl was okay. “Jaemin-ah, they are laughing at my pain.” She pouted and the boy pulled her closer, glaring at the other members.

Yangyang... I saw you laughing at our baby girl... 

[NCT JiHo notices SASEANG at the Airport]

In the shaky fan video with not much context you could see NCT at the airport. The reason why they weren’t moving unknown. The only thing you could tell from the first half of the video was that NCT was standing in the middle of a clearing in the airport with tons of fans surrounding them.

Jeno and JiHo were standing next together, being filmed by the fan. She kept on glancing in a particular direction. At some point Jeno leaned in to whisper something in her ear and she shrugged in response, her body seemed a bit tense.

After another couple of seconds went by, JiHo suddenly starts moving in the direction of the fans - the same direction she kept glancing at. This caused the fans to start screaming and a body guard to quickly try and catch up with her.

It isn’t clear what’s being said, but JiHo exchanges some words with a male fan. She then puts her hand out, the fans around her going quiet. The man hands JiHo his unlocked phone and she starts scrolling through it. With a bitter look she hands the phone back, grabs her own, takes a picture of the man and then leaves. Once she reaches the boys again an indifferent expression remains on her face. Jeno’s hand massages the girl’s shoulder but she doesn’t seem to relax until they are able to leave the airport.

Apparently the male “fan” was a sasaeng and on his phone were pictures he had taken of JiHo and the rest of NCT (?) during their overseas schedules in places no fans were allowed. She deleted them and taken a picture of him for the security, possibly also for the authorities.

[NCT 127 fan event @ Capitol Records]

After everyone had gathered on stage, it was time for each member to introduce themselves. JiHo was last in line and when she started talking in her mic, it was clear that her mic did not work. The girl looked back at the staff, but they didn’t seem to notice directly, so she turned to her right and grabbed Doyoung’s mic. He didn’t let go of it, causing the girl to lean in towards Doyoung and start introducing herself. “Hi! I’m JiHo.” She giggled slightly embarrassed, which emitted a chorus of “awe’s” from the fans.

Later on in the interview, now with a working mic, the question “Who is the most attractive member of the group?” had been asked. Some members had answered already but the interviewer asked JiHo’s opinion. “Uhm...” She hummed as she looked over her members. “I think everyone is very attractive.” She gave as her final answer which left everyone a bit “disappointed”. A fan interjected, yelling, “We all know you think it’s Jungwoo!” JiHo’s face turned the brightest shade of red as she looked at the audience in shock. Everyone at the event had burst out laughing and JiHo sank back in her chair.

[NCT JIHO Choreography | More Than That (Lauren Jauregui)]

JiHo’s know as a bit of a tomboy. I mean she hangs out with dudes pretty much 24/7. So when she dropped this video, let me tell you, we NCTzens were shook.

As the music starts playing the lights slowly turn on. JiHo is sat in the middle of a dance practise room in a chair, head tilted slightly backwards, exposing her neck.

The camera comes closer and JiHo makes eye contact with it, her mouth is slightly agape and she stands up. She hits every beat, dancing in her own, cool style, nothing very girly or sexy, until a certain line comes up.

“I got a situation, I can tell you wanna know“

She brings her clasped hands up, stretching them out above her hand, before pushing her right hip out circling it from the front to the side. She lets her hands drop back down.

“How you can take an honest girl and turn her to a”

Her facial expression turns more cocky. Her left hand goes down the side of her body onto her left thigh while she moves down to an almost squat position. Her right hand comes up from her chest to her neck at the end of the line where the singer lets out a gasp.

Turn her to a WHAT? Explain Lim Jiho! Into a what exactly?!

Stan twitter of course went crazy at the sight of their tomboyish, innocent girl choreographing such a seductive dance. Besides those two lines, most of the dance was just her usual boyish hip-hop style. But the whole vibe of the song, along with her facial expressions had caused such beautiful chaos. Also JiHo in those sweatpants and a sports bra/crop top was something NCTzens weren’t ready for yet.

[Weekly Idol ep 410]

This is probably my favourite JiHo moment ever. For a bit of context. The people sitting down on pillows have to come forward for the members they want to be partnered with and show their charm. After everyone has “seduced” the sitting member, they must close their eyes and if their rose gets picked they are partnered up.

The reason I like this so much is because JiHo was already pouty since Doyoung and Yuta were both seducers as well so there was no chance of partnering with them, but she really wanted to team up with either of them.

After Mark danced to ‘Pick Me’ (and JiHo did everything in her power not to cringe, she failed), he turned around to see which members would come over. When he turned around he saw 4 faces. Those of Doyoung, Jaehyun, Yuta and JiHo. The last two he didn’t expect to come.

One by one they all had to explain why they picked Mark. “Dude, honestly I just don’t want to be picked last.” The girl said in English sending Mark into a fit of laughter. They than had to show show their charm through singing, dancing or acting cute. Once it was Doyoung’s turn, he started dancing to ‘Pick Me’, just like Mark did earlier. “Oppa! I wanted to do that.” She said annoyed to which Doyoung looked shocked. “You were going to dance to a girl group song?” She just rolled her eyes.

Once it was her turn the host had encouraged her to dance to ‘Pick Me’ like she initially planned. “If you do it better than Doyoung, you will have a better chance.” One of the boys had reasoned, that was enough for JiHo to stand up.

She patted down her sweater before getting “in the zone” and she started dancing and singing the song as if it was her own. Some of the boys started cringing at the unfamiliar sight of their female member acting girly and cute, willingly. Then the camera shows Yuta and Jungwoo who were clearly enjoying the show and Taeil smiling fondly as well.

omg this is peak Geo behaviour <3 How is she this cute? Is she really a member of a mostly male group?

Cut to JiHo getting rejected right after Doyoung gets rejected. They sit back next to Johnny, the girl’s head resting on Doyoung’s shoulder. “I guess dancing to that song wasn’t the way to go.” She sighed.

This time it’s Jungwoo’s time to choose a member. He danced to ‘Havana’ to which everyone joins in. Once seated it’s time to start the next round. When Jungwoo faced the group again everyone, including JiHo has come forward.

Johnny danced and Jaehyun and Doyoung sang for Jungwoo, then it’s the girl’s turn. “JiHo! Aegyo!” Haechan yelled and before she can say anything, Yuta agrees. She looks at Jungwoo with a sigh. “Oh it doesn’t look like JiHo really wants to team up with Jungwoo.” Doyoung teased. JiHo quickly dismissed his claim, poking his side which had him twitch.

“Oppa... I think we could make a really good team.” She said with her face rested in her hands. Than she points at her heart. “It would really hurt right here if you reject me.” At the end of her sentence she stands up and throws her rose away. Everyone is dying from laughter or second hand embarrassment. The girl takes a few deep breaths to calm down and she sits back down.

ngl even though that was very cringy, how is JiHo this good at aegyo? I’m sure Jaemin would love it...

They have to make eye contact with the Jungwoo now and once it’s JiHo’s turn she locks eyes with him with ease. Her eyes never faltering which intimidates Jungwoo a bit. “JiHo, you’re supposed to make a connection, not scare him away.” She swats Doyoung’s arm at his remark.

Guess what. Our poor girl was rejected once again

JiHo stands up with her cushion and walks back behind the line. “I danced for you!” She points at Mark. “I acted cute for you!” She points at Jungwoo. “And this is what I get?” The girl actually looks a little agitated which prompted in Jungwoo hugging her and apologising, but she pushes him away. “Whoever my partner is, he and I will end your team.” She threatened while raising her brow. But she only manages to look cute, because she still has a pout very evident on her lips. The tall boy cooed at her and patted her head before walking back to his chair.

Finally Taeyong takes his place on the seat. Once he turned around he could only see Jaehyun and Doyoung sitting back at the line, making a heart with their arms together. A look of despair washed over his face for a quick second before he realises JiHo wasn’t there anymore.

“Where’s JiHo?” He asked and the boys motioned him to turn around once again. When he does he finds JiHo holding her hands up in a heart above her head. “I’ve been rejected twice by those men there.” She points towards Jungwoo and Mark. “And now Doyoung has betrayed me as well. So please be my partner.” Her tone is slightly sad and Taeyong nods and pulls her into a hug.

My heart! :’( She wanted to be in a team with Doyoung from the start, how could he betray JiHo like that!

“Let’s win this!” JiHo yelled, a smile finally finding it’s way back on her face after she found a partner.

That was all for today’s video! Thank you so much for watching! 

---

Side Note: This post is inspired by a post by @nct-aria​. They’re an amazing NCT addition blog, which I definitely recommend you check out.

[michelemoutons]

and at last, the post that maybe three people maximum have been waiting for...

em's comfort retro rally videos: a masterlist!

in a much-needed return to this blog's roots, and as an antidote to all motorsport- and life-related chaos, i now present to you: the first edition of em's favorite retro rally videos!

general disclaimer/info: these videos mainly come from the group B era of the world rally championship (wrc), which generally speaking was in the '80s. i am only human, so expect a lot of bias toward my personal favorites...which will become very apparent as you read this list hehe. also i'm not even gonna pretend to be an expert on this or anything. a lot of these are literally just based on Vibes

table of contents

i. my top 5 rally coverage videos

mainly coverage for television, recorded on VHS and uploaded to YouTube by some truly incredible people

ii. honorable mentions

not rally coverage, but retro rally videos nevertheless

often documentaries, mini-doc features, interviews

for all videos, i have indicated the language (most are in english fyi); if any links fail or videos disappear, send me an ask or DM and i'll remove the culprit/find an alternative link.

and now, onward!

(TW for occasional flash photography in many of the night sequences of the videos, as well as a gif included in this post)

i. my top 5 rally coverage videos

in which my bias toward audi sport, mouton/pons, mikkola, toivonen, and vatanen are put on blast for all to see 🥴 i am not an expert in anything i am just very good at research and a whore for aud—[SNIPED]. for the sake of brevity, i narrowed my favorites down to 5. maybe another time i will share all the rest!

also, a general note about the commentary: sometimes, the commentary around michèle and fabrizia can get... weird. keep in mind, they were the most prominent female team partnership around that time, and the first to nearly clinch a wrc wdc, and to modern ears, the commentators really didn't know how to act around them. personally, it wasn't horrible for me, i just ignored the weirder bits, but i understand if others might find it off-putting. also for the sake of your sanity don't read the comments.

5. Rally of the 1000 Lakes, 1984 | finland

link: overall coverage (eng)

podium: vatanen/alén/toivonen (full final results)

comments: this was definitely a rally for most of audi sport's drivers to forget: bar stig blomqvist, who came quite close to the podium finishers with a 4:14:01 to henri toivonen's 4:12:57! both hannu mikkola and michèle mouton had to retire from the race, which may lead you to wonder: why does this rank among my favorites? well, it's always fun to watch group b rally cars sailing through the air against picturesque scenery, and this video also contains an intriguing (at least for me!) look at the scrutineering process, with drivers at their most casual.

owie :( they were fine though!

4. Lombard RAC Rally, 1981 | britain

link: overall coverage (eng)

podium: mikkola/vatanen/blomqvist (full final results)

comments: hannu winning by 11 whole minutes even after rolling his car in the middle of the forest is actual legend behavior! anyway this was michèle's first wrc outing in britain, and even though she and fabrizia had to retire, they still did quite well, consistently running high in the leaderboards after the first few stages. and that's considering the fact that michèle had a bad cold for much of the rally and had to ask fabrizia to drive the car to service park for her at one point bc she was so tired. which fabrizia did... with a pencil in her mouth. lot of big names in one video—also, jean todt makes an appearance as a co-driver!

shamelessly poached off of one of my text post edits

3. Marlboro Safari Rally, 1983 | kenya

link: overall coverage (eng)

podium: vatanen/mikkola/mouton (full final results)

comments: ok can i just say how stunning the video presentation is?? the opening sequence is just!!! the shots of the wildlife! the sprinting giraffes! wow! anyway the visual of drivers in deck chairs just tickles me for no reason, and michèle please tell me what you ask for at the hairdresser's and also where you got that orange blouse (this is obviously not just specific to this rally, she always eats and leaves no crumbs). this was michèle's first entry and only finish in kenya (and of course it was a podium mwah). it was also her last wrc entry in the A1 quattro, as she switched to the A2 for the rest of her program in the '83 season. also this is one of my favorite podium pictures ever.

lksdjffnnkd there's almost too much to unpack... fabrizia somehow surviving in high waist jeans in a hot car... michèle's do-it-yourself shorts... this podium picture was the subject of a very frantic video chat conversation between myself and a friend at 2am a few months ago

2. Rallye de Portugal, 1982 | portugal

links: short recap (eng) | overall coverage 1, stuck in the middle of two other rallies. timestamps in descrip. (eng) | overall coverage 2, very vibey with cool music (ita... also peep walter röhrl speaking italian)

podium: mouton/eklund/wittmann (full final results)

comments: GOD I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH AAAA! michèle's first podium of '82 being a win? this rally being the one where there's footage of her going shopping with fabrizia afterward? (more on that later) them winning by 13 whole minutes? and that's not even considering THEE most poetic victory ceremony of all time! in fact let me talk about that bc the racing and the win aside, that's why it's so high up on my list! literally poetic cinema! it's night, they're standing on top of the car and floodlit and surrounded by cheering crowds but they may as well be the only ones there in their own little world, laughing at each other and barely even having to look to each other when they're raising their hands—like god! shut up! we get it you're besties 😭

i_just_think_theyre_neat.png

and now... last but certainly never least...

1. Lombard RAC Rally, 1982 | britain

link: overall coverage (eng)

podium: mikkola/mouton/toivonen (full final results)

comments: firstly, if you were to ask me about my dream podium, this would be it. hands down, across all series of motorsport, my comfort podium would be hannu, michèle, and henri in any order. (there's such a cute picture of them from this rally on pinterest, standing in order on a staircase. henri is not looking at the camera because he is laughing at something michèle is saying and it's such a Vibe but i cannot find it wah). the battle for second between michèle and henri ran down to literally the last stage, and their times are separated by seconds, which is just wild to me. the context of this rally deserves another post, which i honestly don’t have the energy to make rn, but just take my word for it that it threatens to destroy me if i think about it too hard! anyway this is just such an awesome rally and i’ve watched this video so many times haha

i love this rally so much that i actually had a character in a story i was writing attend the ceremony captured in this picture as a small child and made it a formative moment in her life. no, there is nothing wrong with me.

ii. honorable mentions

(is it obvious who my faves are? yikes)

'Group B - Avec Michele Mouton' (eng) - taken from a longer feature presentation about group b, a segment specifically about michèle. a friend once described its vibes as ‘a synth wave edit of an 80s anime set in a cyberpunk world about racing’

'1983 Audi Sport National Rally with Michele Mouton' (eng) - in which michèle takes journalist sue baker as a co-driver for a spin in an A1 and a rally win. fun behind-the-scenes video

'Intervista a Fabrizia Pons, la Regina delle Note' 1, 2, 3 (ita) - very thorough interview which is mostly fabrizia telling all sorts of stories, including the very entertaining story of how she found out she was going to be michèle’s co-driver. also what a badass title

'2008 Otago International Classic Rally' (eng) - THE BESTIES REUNITE THE BESTIES REUNITE!!! michèle and fabrizia reunite for a rally that fabrizia convinced michèle to join, they suffer some problems but there are plenty of wholesome bestie moments to be had

'Michele Mouton hurls Group B Audi Quattro up Goodwood hill' (eng) - i mean, self explanatory. the sound of the chirping tires? asmr could never. very short watch if you want a quick pick-me-up

'1990 Louise Aitken-Walker feature' (eng) - a video featuring a female rally driver from scotland and her point-scoring run at the rallye monte -carlo. i am convinced that louise was john finnemore’s inspiration or at least an influence for the character of linda fairbairn. no my hat is not made of tin foil what are you talking about

hannu rocketing around michigan back in 2017 (eng)

hannu flying around goodwood in 2015 (eng)

sometimes i listen to fabrizia's recent onboards (yes, she's still at it!) and this one is one of my favorites, from 2016 (ita)

[jestbee]

well, jack was a surprising one.

I just woke up and saw all the clips and in my opinion I don't think it's as bad as people are making out. Like, people are straight up villifying Jack for "turning against dream" which I don't think he did and its not a crime to have an opinion.

Jack's comments are being taken out of context a bit. I do think he shouldn't have spoken on it considering he hasn't watched the apology video, but also feels like he was going to get asked about it regardless because they wanted a reaction from him and all he said was that (paraphrasing) "Dream should address it if he hasn't already" and that he hadn't watched the video. Which I don't think is that wild of a statement and kind of feels like the one you should give if you havent seen the video? Like, without that context you'd say well Dream should probably address that. Oh he has? Cool, then. But they weren't going to tell him that we're they?

But Dream has addressed it, so end of. If he'd known that for sure when answering his answer would have been different.

The kaceytron comment was that "her commitment to the bit is funny", which makes it sound like he's laughing at her not with her. Like, he means it's fucking hilarious that someone would continue to be like that for so long even when its dried up, not that what she is actually saying is humorous. But, that's just the way I take that.

As for the "gnf audience is 15 year old girls" thing. The /other/ guy said that as if trying to make a point that it was bad, and then Jack made a point that his is too and that it wasn't intentional. At no point in my opinion did Jack make it sound like it was a problem or something he didn't like, it was just a fact of his demographics. He said he makes the content he wants and that's the demographic he's fallen into. He was speaking in generalities, obviously not all of the fans are that demographic (we know they're not, I'm over here at my advanced age hello) but they have access to their analytics so I'm willing to bet a large percentage are around that age. Again, Jack didn't say that was a problem.

The other guy then proceeded to have a go at them about not streaming often. Which was just fucking salty because he has to work streaming more than 40 hours a month (Jack's number) in order to make money but Jack etc are are popular so they don't. I don't give a shit if that makes him mad.

I have no skin in the game for Jack Manifold, I have watched precisely 0 of his content that doesn't have dteam in it so I'm not like "defending him". I just think twitter has a way of taking nuance out everything and because everyone hates the people he was talking with (who i also do NOT watch because it's not for me), and because that person was trying to push buttons, people are now reducing Jack's words down when I'm not entirely convinced that was his meaning.

He said himself "You're asking me questions about things I wouldn't usually talk about", which mean Jack doesn't usually want to talk about this stuff live because it's tricky (probably precisely because of what twitter is doing rn). Trying to come up with an answer on the spot that is worded exactly correctly is difficilt enough without the added scenario of the people you're talking to just trying to get an inflammatory thing said for the views.

Worked didn't it, were all fucking talking about it.

I understand that after the last few weeks hearing anything other that complete positivity can feel rough, I understand that it coming from someone considered a part of the extended dsmp community also might feel like betrayal, but I think ppl really need to look at what was /actually/ said and stop having utter outrage at anything slightly critical. Because on top of it being the thing that makes our community look like mindless drones who can't take anything other than peace and love for Dream at any given second, it also makes those that want to push our buttons know they can do it easily. Also, it's just really not good for you to be angry all the time, take a breath, step back, give a generous reading. That's what we'd like other people to do for us.

(I might have missed some stuff because I didn't watch the full stream. I've only commented on the bits I did see so, take that as you will)

[balkanballad]

Eurovision 2021 ranking

hello, hello and welcome to my eurovision 2021 ranking. the songs are ranked with numbers but I also put them into categories (from 💐 to 🥀) and added a short comment. so, if you are interested in my personal opinion about the songs, have fun:

💐:

Switzerland: I was rooting for him last year and it’s the one returner in my top that didn’t disappoint me that much. what a start, huh? I love the song, I love the feeling it gives me when I listen to it, the clip is very pretty too. did I like his last entry better? yes, but I will say it already here at the very top of this list: I liked last year’s choices in general a lot more. nevertheless, this is a beautiful entry! and it is my personal winner this year

Australia: I loved her last song. It was there for me when I needed it. Technicolour does not touch me in that way but it is fun!! it’s catchy to me and I really like Montaigne. I adore her style and how she sings. I am excitingly looking forward to this performance :)

France: beautiful song, amazing singer, the national final performance was wonderful. however, I listened to it so much that back in March I already needed a break form it. now as I am finishing this it’s April and I can slowly listen to it again. it’s me though, it’s not her. that’s really a me problem. she’s wonderful and I love the French touch to this

Albania: a ballad from the Balkans <3 hello, of course I like it and I love that they kept it in Albanian this year. I heard similar songs before, but I like the sound of it still.and overall it’s a song that gives me familiar vibes in a cozy way with a bit of drama

Russia: interesting!! I was relived to see that Little Big didn’t return because, as I explained in my ranking for last year, I was not feeling them. absolutely nothing about them, but I love her! I think it’s catchy, it’s something different and I like the message she supports. it took me a few times to fully decide how I feel about the song, but now it’s in my top for sure 

Denmark: fun! a fun song in Danish. I really like the good mood it puts me in. I even see this in the context of the Umbrella Academy or Stranger Things or something like that when they go to Europe to party a bit. I also really enjoy the old school vibe this has to it. I miss that vibe. I’m also a bit old school

Cyprus: I absolutely do not relate to anything said in this song but it’s catchy! it is a bit fuego and a bit replay but I liked those entries as well, so yeah fire. I have not heard a single live performance by her but I am not exactly sure that vocals will be the aspect that she will try to win votes with anyway. I am amused by the fact that apparently people were offended by this song when it clearly makes no sense whatsoever. it’s simply a bop, move on and dance a bit

🌺:

(8.) Greece: fun as well! a ‘dream team’ entry for sure. I say this a bit sarcastically, but they do well a lot of the times and I am lured in by a lot of their entries myself. Kontopoulos is a big name in the esc industry, it’s a fact. the song is a bit more mature than Superg!rl, which I also listened to more often that I thought I would. It still reminds me of a theme song for a superhero show for kids and I am a bit worried that the ‘dReAM TeAm’ is a bit too outdated for Stefania because I think she could have done something cooler than both of those songs

(9.) Sweden: it took me a few times listening to this song, but I like the song now. I don’t think it’s too special and “a million voices” reminds me of Polina immediately because those are her words for me, but this is a good song too. I like how it makes me feel empowered and like everything will be okay. thank you for that, Tusse, I need that 

(10.) Israel: Eden deserved a better song. I like this song less than last year’s entry because I think it’s less interesting and I loved some instrumental parts from last year’s entry, but this is not bad either. I am rooting more for her than for the song, but I guess that’s this year’s motto for me. I also can’t say that I love the revamp because it made it sound even more generic for me  

(11.) Belgium: I saw the promo pics for them and was very confused how different the singer looks this year, but it turns out that it’s not the same woman. I like this entry a lot better. I like her voice and I really like the vibe. It sounds a bit like it could play in the background of a classic American tv show when a character is going a bit through it and pouring a drink while it’s dark outside. I have the same problem that I mentioned already while talking about the French entry, but that’s still a me problem. I just need a break

(12.) Ireland: this entry is a lot less annoying to me than the song that she had last year. I like the lyrics and whole aesthetic of this one a lot more. it’s another one that I can’t listen to too often, but I still think it’s a very good choice imo

(13.) The Netherlands: Jeangu!! I think he for example will give a wonderful vocal performance. Growth felt way more personal to me, but that’s a repeating motive this year and also a me problem because obviously this is his song and he does it well

🌻:

(14.) San Marino: I’m still confused by this feature and I can’t really say that I’m ‘living’ for it, but I already made a post about how I don’t think she needed Flo Rida. minus the feature it’s a catchy party song, but it reminds me of one song that I simply can’t remember anymore. something that I heard from the Greek music industry, maybe even Eleni, if you know which one I mean, pls let me know

(15.) Estonia: just like last year: this song doesn’t make much sense and I don’t want to, but I still catch myself listening to it frequently... I am sorry, I can’t help it, but it puts me in a eurovision mood and yes, I am blaming Kontopoulos again. I am a weak person when it comes to his melodies

(16.) Ukraine: first I had it lower in my ranking, but I like SHUM better now and I like it a lot more now than last years entry. I really like the part when it gets faster, that’s really fun and makes me want to jump! jump! jump!

(17.) Spain: it’s a lot less repetitive than the last entry, but I would be lying if I said that I listen to this very often. it’s alright, not bad at all actually, but I just wasn’t in the mood for this (yet?)

(18.) Romania: this is for me still the same type of style as Bulgaria. European Billie Eilish type. last year I ranked her higher than Bulgaria as well, but they are pretty much the same to me. I can’t comment on whether I like her song less or more this year. it’s not bad either but I simply don’t think about it much

(19.) Bulgaria: I think I like this entry better than her last one. the message is cute, the melody too and yeah, but I don’t care about it too much

🌼:

(20.) Croatia: it’s a faster pop song without a real meaning. ground-breaking. the title makes me think of Ukraine 2014. which I like better, but we’ll see, maybe the performance will have something cool too. I will say though, I would have prefered the whole song to be in Croatian, it doesn’t make it much deeper, but I like that part the most

(21.) Malta: another faster pop song. I think she will give an amazing vocal performance and it will be cool and powerful, but the message and lyrics are a bit confusing to me. I am not the lyrics police, but I am confused by them a bit

(22.) Iceland: I think I like it better than last year’s song, but it’s still not LOVE that I feel for the song. I can listen to it though

(23.) Lithuania: it’s there. I am not a fan of them and it’s not a song I love too much, but I can listen to it

(24.) North Macedonia: sigh. I liked last year’s entry a lot and Vasil seems like someone who cares a lot about the contest, but I don’t feel this ballad. I think I know what they were going for and what it’s trying to be, dramatic and meaningful, but I don’t feel it that much. it’s okay? but it doesn’t do much for me

(25.) Czech Republic: this was a surprise because I think the overall quality of his entry got a lot better, this time though I have the problem that I do not like the lyrics. they don’t make me as uncomfortable as Germany last year but they are in that area of uhm, I don’t love the feeling this gives me

(26.) UK: hm :/ I can’t say that I’m a fan. this sounds like the type of song that the boring straight men in my area put in their tinder bio as their song, but it’s every third guy that says this is his song. those Calvin Harris remix type-ish songs and I am sooo bored. I swipe left because it’s no match, I delete tinder. breath was a lot more my thing and a lot more exciting and interesting

(27.) Poland: as soon as this stops, the exact same second, I forget everything about it. I don’t remember a single word, barely the title and singer and not the melody. what is this about? I can’t tell you. it’s not exactly bad, but it is so forgettable

(28.) Moldova: oh faster pop song? wow.. so.. original. I am starting to sound like those weird people that hate ballads. I don’t feel it and I don’t relate to it, but I also don’t hate it. the video though.. no thanks.

(29.) Italy: as so often: I see a lot of Italy fans on here and I can’t relate. it’s not for me, but it’s there and I can listen to it when I can’t reach the skip button for some reason

(30.) Austria: hm. Austria and Slovenia are going there. this is the better Amen song for me, but I don’t love it. it’s better than what Ana is trying to sell even though it’s super repetitive

🥀:

(31.) Serbia: I can’t tell you if it’s worse than last year but it’s less catchy. the lyrics are still bad. actually, maybe I am the lyrics police

(32.) Finland: this not my genre and I don’t really listen to it

(33.) Slovenia: nop. not for me in any way. I already said last year that I don’t like her voice and it didn’t change but now I also don’t love the message or weird vibe of this entry. I had it even lower, but I can’t push it up more. this is as high as I can rank it

(34.) Norway: I don’t like it. I don’t like the lyrics or melody or performance that was in the nf actually. I have a hard time understanding the concept even with the explanation it makes no sense to me

(35.) Portugal: I don’t like it. a lot of the parts of the melody are really not for me and borderline annoying, but definitely boring

(36.) Georgia: it’s boring. the last entry was at least something interesting, but this one is boring, which makes me a bit sad because his voice sounds and he seems like the guy that could make something cooler. I know I am not the person that can judge rock because I don’t listen to it too much, but I feel like he could have done something cooler and ‘rock’ it more

(37.) Latvia: again: I can’t even say if it’s worse or better than last year. maybe a bit better actually but, just as last time, I can’t listen to this. it annoys me and gives me a bit of a headache. I don’t think her style and voice is for me

(38.) Germany: I wouldn’t necessarily call it hate that I feel when I have to listen to this, even though that’s a funny play with the words of this title, but I definitely feel very annoyed by this song, so I simply don’t listen to it

(39.) Azerbaijan: the song sounds just like the last one, which I had placed on the 14. place in my own 2020 ranking, however, I can’t bring myself to support someone who posts war propaganda on their socials. it’s eurovision and about the songs, I know, but this is my blog and my ranking. so it’s a no for me this time and my last place in this ranking

[allalrightagain]

Ao3 Stats Tag

@lunapwrites you tagged me in this what feels like forever ago (it was only a couple of days, but still) and this is the first time I've made it to my computer since. Thank you for the tag <3<3!

How many works do you have on AO3?

3, plus a few that should probably move there from other various places.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

4461

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

That I’ve published? Besides Harry Potter, I’ve got like 4 chapters of a Twilight fic I wrote with friends in middle school that will die on ffnet because I a) don’t remember the title, b) don’t remember our username, c) don’t remember the email (I do, weirdly, remember the password) and d) haven’t talked to either friend since like.. 2010.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

(also fittingly the same order they were published in):

1) If logic beat hate (by only a little)

2) Where do we begin?

3) ‘78 count

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! I got one I felt kind of weird about (and was… probably misinterpreting) a few months ago and haven’t managed to go back and respond to the ones that followed, but it’s my plan to respond to all of them! I totally understand why people might not want to, but I love getting responses back when I leave a comment on someone else’s work, so I’d like to believe I’m extending the warm fuzzy feeling I get back to anyone who comments.

Also, like, fandom is a community, even if some of that has collapsed a bit. We’re all here talking about how sad Remus Lupin’s life is/was/could be (or whatever), and the best way to keep doing that is to just keep talking to each other, even if it’s just a simple thank you/kudos.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Uhhh definitely '78 count haha. It's intentional! At its core, it's about death, the death of an entire generation, and survivors who die anyways. It's my lowest read fic, if nothing else than because of the MCD warning.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope. Or at least, not that I know of. Maybe my Twilight fic has racked up the flames, but I kind of doubt it.

I spent a long time being terrified of— not even people hating my fic, just like, perceiving it? So, very little of what I’ve thought about has made it to paper (or screen) and even less to people’s eyes. It’s something I’ve gotten a lot better at, and am continuing to do every day.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

*laughs in aroace* If I ever manage to write an actual ship, the answer will probably still be no. It takes a lot for me to be interested in a fic enough not to skim through reading smut, I’m fairly certain my own attempts would be “and then they kissed, anyways, moving on.”

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but it would be cool if someone liked my writing enough to do so!

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Gen fic :)? I do like wolfstar and hinny, but I’ll read a lot of pairings as long as it’s a story I’m interested in. I’m a very easy sell, so long as it’s not only about the relationship (and it rarely is).

What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think that you ever will?

I have a Regulus Lives fic buried on pillowfort that could have used a lot more TLC than it got before seeing the light of day, and it very much got away from me. I learned a lot from what I did write, and a lot of those lessons got applied to DIWF, where they did a lot of good. I just think what I left myself isn’t a story that I can salvage into what I wanted it to be.

What are your writing strengths?

Definitely narrative style, which was my “thing” when I was in college (huge tip to people in creative writing classes— if you’re not sure what to write, pick the last story you read and write a similar story the same way, or pick two and rewrite one using the voice of the other. You will look very good for your prof and improve your writing!).

I think I’m pretty good at dialogue, but not always at making the dialogue sound like the right character.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Mixing dialogue and narration lmao. I can write you a script easily, and a story without dialogue almost as easily, but knowing when and how to build up or break up a scene with description often takes me dozens of rereads, and still feels clumsy to me.

Also length— I’m a short story writer at heart, I want to get in and get out. DIWF is testing my patience with both of these, but I know what I want it to look like, so I just keep beating more words into it XD

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

I think it can be used really successfully, but it’s dependent on the writer knowing the language enough to use it masterfully, and context is extremely important. If the reader is supposed to understand what’s happening, then a translation needs to be conveyed in a way that’s easy to understand (I read mostly on mobile, so hovertext is generally useless, and putting it in the end notes is often annoying). If the goal is the reader and/or character(s) not knowing what’s said, it can come across as dismissive or othering of the other language (again, context=important).

That being said, there’s a special place in my heart for fics with dialogue in French, because I can actually read it.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter. I have an adorable handwritten “and it was all a dream” fic I wrote at like.. 10? Definitely before book 7, and I think before book 6? Harry is killed by Voldemort and wakes up to the Marauders + Lily looking over his crib.

If you’re talking published, it would be the aforementioned Twilight fic I don’t remember.

What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

Oh don’t ask me to pick favorites! I like them all for different reasons.

It took me so long to post this I think everyone I would have tagged has done it already? So if you see this and haven’t done it, I’m tagging you <3

[oldtvandcomics]

I watched The Green Hornet (2011). Now I really should do a review, right?

Ooooooh, damn it. Ok.

The most noticeable thing about this movie for me has been just HOW MUCH everyone in it is focussed on the way they look, and that not in a good way. The whole thing is just a bunch of people parading around their inflated air-filled personas and hoping that if they only perform hard enough, the others will believe it is them. The problem is that this leaves very little space for genuine interaction, and in the end, the movie itself runs into the same trap as they do: It wants to pretend SO MUCH to be one of the Big Bad Superhero movies, but in the end, it is a nobody.

I must add this disclaimer somewhere: I LOVE the Green Hornet. He is my third-favorite superhero. I desperately wanted to like this movie, I really did.

Objectively measurable things first: The dialogue is bad. Like, AMAZINGLY, PHENOMENALLY BAD. Sometimes you feel as if something that has been just said should be a funny moment. It never is. It just feels awkward. As to the characters, they are unlikable the way heroes only in the 2010's can be: It is a decade where nobody seems to believe any more that people can be genuinely good and heroic, leading to "realistic" re-imaginations that inevitably kill the charm of the original. In the case of Britt and Kato, this has degraded them to simple brutal serial killers who do it because they enjoy their own violence. Britt is the ultimate frat boy who takes shamelessly advantage of Kato's skills while believing to be superior to him, calls him slurs and straight out sexually harasses his female coworker. And... Look, in the Real World, this is probably what Britt Reid would be like. BUT THIS ISN'T THE REAL WORLD!! Britt is supposed to be a hero, that is the sole reason why he exists: Because the people in the 1930's desperately needed someone who is on their side, and they dreamed up superheroes to protect them from real world problems.

[Which I feel is a problem with many modern-day superhero adaptations, btw. They are separated from their original historic context and put 1:1 in the current year. This means that they inevitably stop making sense. Instead of looking why that is, what those nonsensical elements meant in their original context, and adapt THAT, people look at them and go "this is stupid, I am going to make the story about how stupid this is, look, I deconstructed this thing, am I not clever!". And along the process of pointing out how stupid it is, the rest of what made the story good to begin with also vanishes. The end result is that I have the impression that they are calling me a bad person for liking the original in the first place.]

Then there is the aforementioned sincerity problem: There were only one or two scenes where the characters were not lost behind their own smokescreens and I could actually connect to their emotions. And finally, the plot: There wasn't much of one. Britt and Kato only did their gig for fun, and the gang they pissed off as well as the corrupt politician who was supposed to be the final conflict just didn't feel important enough to warrant this level of bloodbath and collateral damages.

And now the treatment of minorities. Oh boy.

Kato naturally is treated like crap, both by Britt and the general story that seems to condemn this, but only towards the viewers. Britt is never forced to recognize all the ways he hurt him, even less does he apologize. And the narrative revolves so much around him that he is able to completely ruin the whole movie by simply being so badly written. Kato himself could have been a good character, but it and his arc just go under, and isn't that typical for Kato.

This movie loves sexist slurs. I was totally shocked to see that apparently, a decade ago it was completely acceptable to use "pussy" and "little bitch" as an insult in a movie, EVEN MORE BY THE MAIN CHARACTER (the person being called these slurs being, obviously, Kato). Casey, a clever and competent secretary with sharp wit and an even sharper tongue in the original, is degraded to "hot blonde girl", has both male leads openly thirst over her IN HER WORKPLACE, and all of her work experience erased by being a new employee. It was terribly uncomfortable to watch.

But hey, at least they sent out a message that they are both not gay? I guess?? Because look, Britt Reid and Kato can be fairly easily read as queer. They live together, have very visibly a close bond and trust each other unconditionally, and also neither of them has a female love interest. That is the original, 1930's-1940's. 2011, we are aware enough of the existence of queer people so that it couldn't be left like this, so obviously the mutual trust and respect needed to go, and those comments about poor Casey served the same purpose. The movie also kind of seems to keep commenting on the nature of their relationship with bits of dialogue that in a different context kind of sound romantic, and are clearly supposed to be jokes and/or funny moments, but absolutely nothing about the dialogue is funny, so it all just feels really uncomfortable.

And finally, the xenophobia. Also, racism, because it is trying to comment on how the original story treats Kato like crap by treating Kato like crap. NOT how you do this, guys. But the point I actually wanted to make in this paragraph was about the villain, who has a Slavic-sounding name. Which, apparently, is difficult to pronounce (it isn't??). Hahaha, look how difficult it is to pronounce! Let's constantly point this out by having the Americans comment on and keep mispronouncing it! Aren't we funny!

Fuck you.

Sorry, at this point, I had to.

Adaptation from the original things:

They gave Kato more screentime, that is good. It also completely went under in the mess that the rest of the movie is. Oh, and they didn’t let him wear his white suit, which, pity, it’s a really nice suit. Britt is an arsehole, and acts like a spoiled child. Points for trying to make him look more like a playboy, because in every other adaptation, he is a completely normal, responsible adult man who is said to be a playboy (vanishing weeks on end while fighting crime does this to your reputation). But like, AT THE BEGINNING. By the end, HE SHOULD BE a normal responsible adult man! Character growth, anyone? No? Not in this movie. Casey as I said before is just there to look sexy. Axford is... Apparently that older journalist guy who kept telling Britt to tune it down? That's Axford?? OK, he is absolutely NOTHING like the Axford I know, who is a bit of a bumbling character obsessed with catching the Green Hornet, but very likeable and a fairy good journalist. Lowry isn't there at all.

Look, what made the Green Hornet as a superhero so exceptional was the truly amazing supporting cast. I fell in love with the people at the Daily Sentinel at least as much as I did with Britt, the way they bicker and poke fun of one another. I couldn't find a single one of these beloved characters in this movie, and the Daily Sentinel itself was more of a background prop than anything else.

Black Beauty... Call me boring, but it really doesn't need this many guns. Why would it need this many guns?? But all in all, it was cool, so no complaints there. They did miss a chance by having Britt live in a GIANT mansion with a garage full of cars instead of an apartment with a secret passage, because who wouldn't want to see an apartment with a secret passage.

And now that I got this off my chest, some of the things that did work:

Kato. Kato, as usual, has got a perfectly good and interesting story going on behind the scenes. He is maybe the only character who doesn't feel fake (I mean, he gets covered up by the layers of bad radiating from everyone else so it hardly shines though), and he also has a completely good storyline that would have worked, had the rest of the movie... I'm repeating myself.

That's... Pretty much it, yes.

I did like the part at the beginning where Britt first met Kato, and there was this ridiculously complicated coffee machine that he built, and Britt was immediately in awe with him, and then Kato showed off all the stuff that he designed and built, and they were both just SO INTO IT. It is one of the few genuine moments in the entire movie.

I also loved the part at the end where Kato was trying to look for a new job, noticed that there is absolutely nothing that he can put on his resume, and for a moment it looked as if he was really considering a career in crime. They could have done more with this idea. I also hoped for a moment that he would actually dress as the Green Hornet for the job, and OMG, my fanfiction is coming true, but no. Pity, because I swear that it is better written than this movie.

(No, seriously. Would anyone like by any chance to read my fanfiction?)

TL;DR: THIS IS A BAD MOVIE. DON'T WATCH IT.

[bronanlynch]

(bi)weekly media update

apparently I just. do these every two weeks now huh. sorry to the tuesday again no problem extended universe crew for being unable to keep to a consistent schedule

listening: Curses by The Crane Wives, a band that I just started listening to but I like their sound, nice and fun and folksy, lots of songs with ominous lyrics that are good on fanmixes

honorary mention to the new Lil Nas X song because we are all love the new Lil Nas X song, it’s a bop, it’s been stuck in my head on and off ever since I heard it, and I am not immune to sexily blasphemous music videos

reading: finished Smoke & Ashes, the most recent book in the Kate Kane series that I talked about last week, and I enjoyed it a lot but there sure is a cliffhanger and afaik no set release date for the next one. it’s pretty angsty but does have lots of nice moments of hope, and some discussion about recovering from both depression and alcoholism that I appreciated.

also read more romance novels, and I appreciate that Cat Sebastian, like KJ Charles, knows how to write about rich characters while making it incredibly clear that hoarding wealth is morally indefensible. it’s like the “wow, cool robot” thing where I want to be told that I’m right for disliking capitalism/imperialism/the military industrial complex, but also I do very much want you to show me the cool robot (hot rich prettyboy in nice clothes)

also finally started Harrow the Ninth today, so I’m sure I’ll have more to say about that next time

watching: speaking of “wow, cool robot,” watched a little bit more Turn A Gundam, which sure does have some cool robots. also some gender. the main character crossdresses to like, hide their identity for fun complicated spy reasons and it’s not treated as a joke or anything? it’s just a thing that they do? and no one comments on it beyond when they were like “hey you have to wear a dress to this event because the people from the moon think our mech pilot is a woman and they can’t know it’s actually you because they still think you’re working for them”

absolutely hate that the guy on the right is just wearing a normal boring suit though like. c’mon man

Zan and I have been watching The Falcon and the Winter Soldier aka the sambucky show each week and my review so far is. well it’s about what I expected. the first episode was incredibly slow and kinda disappointing (Sam and Bucky never interact! the fact that Bucky might maybe miss Steve is never brought up, not even by his therapist, who tbh gives me incredibly bad vibes! if my best friend and the only person I knew from my past fucked off and left me alone to deal with my trauma in favor of ruining the life of a woman who’d moved on from him, I’d be pissed!) (for the sake of not being angry all the time I pretend Steve died instead of did That).

the second episode was more fun, more happens, there’s some incredibly heavy-handed corporate queerbaiting mixed in with some actually nice emotional moments (this article and this thread by the same person have a pretty good summary of All That). the handling of race, uh, could be better tbh. I appreciate what they’re going for, and to be fair the whole show isn’t out yet so it could get better (since some of the problems are tied to, y’know, the overall political problems, i.e. the fact that the villains are a group of people, led by a Black woman, who hate borders and illegally deliver medication to refugees which is somehow a bad thing, I kind of doubt it). but there is something about the way they’re making a Black man the mouthpiece of American imperialism, and the way that the new (white) Captain America who takes the shield when Sam doesn’t want it has a Black girlfriend and a Black best friend who, so far, have mostly just given him motivational pep talks, that doesn’t really inspire confidence. (this article and thread are a good overview of that aspect of the show)

also, I think it’s very funny when people are like “well you can’t say anything about the show yet, only two episodes are out” like. first of all lads it’s a six episode show, a third of the content is a decent chunk to use to form an analytical opinion, and second of all, if something strikes you as Not Great, you’re allowed to feel that way and say that, you don’t have to wait to see if there might be some twist or context that makes the thing you didn’t care for great and fine, actually,

that being said,

(when we watched the first episode, the immediate next thing we did was watch Winter Soldier and I was pleasantly surprised how well it holds up. not perfect obvi but still a solid movie, and the music does fuck)

also watched this very neat little video essay on Victoriana costuming and like, why so much media is set in the Victorian era, and started the c-drama Word of Honor which I’m sure will either be in a future post or just. something I start blogging about normally

playing: the weekend before last was the Beam Saber season finale, which I’ve already posted about quite a bit because it was fun and I love to play games with my friends. played a very fun game of Things, Eldritch and Terrifying by S. Gates this past weekend. it’s a very fun game, with very easy-to-follow rules and lots of helpful adjectives and scene starters, and also just conceptual it slaps (one person is an eldritch terror, the other person is the human that they’re courting. there’s a variant where you play as a vampire. it slaps). we made it uh, more of a rom-com than a horror story but I had a very good time, we told a very cute love story, and we’re gonna try again to make it more horror-y next time.

also I finally started Brigmore Witches and it’s very good and fun. my one complaint is that I want the Whalers to have names, because I enjoy the bit at the beginning where you can eavesdrop on them and some of them are concerned for you and some of them are fucked up about the Overseers invading their home and some of them want to fucking betray you. also, I didn’t realize that the very beginning when you fight Corvo is a dream sequence so I spent the whole fight being like “wait why does he get a gun and I don’t, where are my powers, wait aren’t I supposed to lose this fight for Plot Reasons why is he dead.” also, fucking love the favor that lets you dress up as an Overseer to get into the prison. I do love a good disguise mission

making: citrus chicken (from a cookbook so no link), plus some citrus-y root vegetables. very good if you like orange.

writing: nothing I can share yet for ~zine reasons. yes I have several fandom event weeks coming up that I want to participate in, no I haven’t written anything for any of them yet

[wincest-gaychesters]

Fic Writer Questions

from @wincestismyheart / @twobrothersoneheart not sure where the questions came from originally but thanks for tagging me! This one seemed like a lot of fun so I had to do it...

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 5 works published on Ao3 which doesn't sound like a lot, but then I remember a lot of my stuff is shorter and on my tumblr haha

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

My total word count is 8521 since most of my fics are one chapter and pretty short

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

One fandom: Supernatural

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Well I only have 5 lol, but here they are in order of popularity based off kudos:

Just Like A Dream - in which Sam dresses up in a tiny french maid outfit to get Dean's attention. Smut ensues.

Just Mine - boyking!Sam and demon!Dean get freaky in hell's throne room, with an audience.

All of the Sinners - demon!Sam and angel!Dean meet up at a church where things get... sexy.

Baby - Dean is finally reunited with the Impala after their separation (in season 7 when they have to get rid of her in order to hide from Dick) but it's not a perfect reunion without Sam (he is there he's just like sitting back and watching Dean love his car lol)

Ain't the Same - this one's kinda hard for me to summarize. it's just like angsty teenage-ry BS from both Sam and Dean (they're like 12 and 17 respectively). Deans been hunting with his dad but suddenly gets dropped off, with Sam, at Bobby's which he thinks is some sort of sign that his dad thinks he's not good enough to keep hunting. Sam, on the other hand, has been spending pretty much all his time alone and is happy to finally have someone to hang out with but gets increasingly pissed that Dean doesn't wanna hang out with him. They "steal" (it's from Bobby's lot so not really lol) a car, sneak out to the movies, then have a cute little bonding moment after. Just general angst and fluff.

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes! If you liked my fic enough to sit down and write a comment, then I can take a moment to reply.

6. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I think it's All of the Sinners. I usually have open-ended endings but with the boys being on good terms. But with this fic it ends with Dean kind of asking to see Sam again, like he really wants something less casual, but Sam is very much against it because they're on two different sides (Sam's a demon and Dean's an angel).

7. What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I'm not sure because they usually end pretty happy, or at least the boys are content. But I think it's between Just Like a Dream and Ain't the Same. Just Like a Dream ends after the boys' first time together with some cuddling. Ain't the Same probably is the happier ending, it ends with Dean having a realization of how happy he actually is just hanging out with his family (just Bobby and Sam at the time, but still).

8. Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you've written?

I've tried to do crossovers before but they never really work out. The craziest one I came up with, even though I never really wrote it cuz it was long and didn't really make any sense, was like a multi-fandom crossover, where Sam and Dean are wizards that go to Hogwarts. I think I left out the HP characters, just used the setting, or they were in the same year as Albus Potter (I can't really remember, but I was also going back and forth on a lot of the details) but didn't really interact with him/that group. Then Sherlock and John were also there and they become pretty good friends with them, especially Sherlock and Sam get along real well. And at some point I think I wanted to throw in the 10th Doctor as well (he's my fave) but he was supposed to be like the weird friend in the group who had these weird dreams about a blue box that flew through space. Then I can't remember if I was going to try and get them into the Dr Who universe through him or not. Idk, it was crazy and didn't really have a point except that I wanted to put all these characters together in this specific setting haha!

9. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope, nothing yet.

10. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

That's pretty much all I write lol. Usually stuff with specific kinks, usually Sam/Dean, sometimes softer or more vanilla stuff. Kind of depends.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but it would be cool!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really. When I write something I tend to have a very specific vision for the story so I'm probably not so great to collaborate with anyway haha.

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

Wincest. Hands down. Always.

15. What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

That's a hard question for me. If it's something I want to finish then it's a story I still believe in so even if it's really slow progress I'm still working on it. The WIPs I think I won't finish are the ones I have already given up on because something about the story is off and I don't really believe in it anymore. If I still believe in a story then I'll finish it eventually lol.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm not sure. I'm very terrible at self-analysis.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I think my biggest weakness is writing how I feel in the moment instead of through the lens of a certain character. I also want perfection but am so bad at editing, so my stories almost never end up the way I think of them. I find it hard to capture the mood or feeling that I dream up in my head. But wanting things to be exactly how I think of them the first time is also bad, because then I don't let the story grow or get better through editing. So it's all bad really.

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I don't think I've encountered that before. I don't wanna say I do or don't like it but I think it would depend a lot on context.

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I want to say Supernatural because it's what i've written most but probably not. I don't have everything I've written over the years saved so I'm really not sure. I do remember having a handful of fics (like two or three) for Ouran High School Host Club. But even that I'm not sure was my first.

20. What's your favorite fic you've written?

It kind of depends. I just reread a fic I wrote and only published on here about Sam and Dean in college which I really liked for the writing itself. But I love All of the Sinners because of the imagery it reminds me of when I was writing the fic, but the writing itself is not good and doesn't really get the imagery across the way I'd like it to. So, I think for the feeling it gives me it's my fave.

[twoidiotwriters1]

Déjà Vu (Or are we losing our minds?) VI -Modern!Shirbert

Words: 2,292

Series’ Masterlist

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Chapter Six: Kindred Spirits.

Anne to ‘Golden Trio’: I know you were looking forward to our party this weekend but I just got my period and I’m DYING so… rain check?

Cole: Bitch—

Diana: Oh, no! :( I hate when that happens, but it’s okay, we can wait!

Cole: I just want you to appreciate my friendship right now cause I’m on the verge of throwing myself over a cliff but fine, I have no uterus, no opinion. I’ll have to stand these beasts a while longer

Diana: Those are your nieces, nephews and siblings you’re talking about, Cole…

Cole: And I love them but doesn’t mean they don’t suck

Anne: I love you so much Cole, I promise next week it’s on!

Anne dropped her phone on her nightstand, then it buzzed once more, she groaned but picked it up anyway, Josie's name on the screen.

Josie: Ruby’s having a crisis. Waiter guy won’t answer his phone and now she’s on the verge of shaving her head.

Anne: goddamit I just got my period, I’m still on my pj’s!

Josie: We can go to your place? I really don’t want to deal with Ruby on my own...

Anne bit her lip, she had the tendency to lack patience during her periods, but the girls needed her, so she couldn’t say no.

Anne to ‘Golden Trio’: If you guys feel like witnessing some drama Josie’s heading to my place with a "Pink Crisis."

Cole: Fuck, did that waiter broke things off with Ruby already?

Anne: Apparently he’s not answering her texts and Ruby’s about to go crazy.

Cole: I’m in. Anything as long as I can leave the house.

Diana: Sorry, I was talking with Minnie May

Diana: btw I’m in too, let me see if I can take the car and I’ll pick you up @Cole

Cole: Cool, text me when you’re coming.

Anne dropped her phone again, this time on her pillow, and got up to let tell Marilla and Matthew that the girls plus Cole were coming. 

A strange thought came to her as she got up from bed. She felt like there was something missing, something was out of place, or unfinished. Was she supposed to text someone? Had she missed an appointment?

‘A doctor's appointment,’ said a voice at the back of her head.

Anne snorted at the absurdity of that, she knew there was no doctor's appointment scheduled, what the hell was wrong with her? Maybe it was just the hormones...

___________________

Bash was still not over the fact that Gilbert had had a “wet dream” about Moody’s girl and kept teasing whenever he could. It wasn’t Ruby though, Gilbert knew that, somehow.

He was sure that the girl in his dreams had red hair and grey eyes. Or blue, he couldn’t remember well. Either way, as the afternoon went away he started to forget. Sure enough, it’d been nice, he woke up feeling some sort of strange joy for the rest of his shift until it was time to close the diner, then his mind drifted to the dishes he needed to clean and the bills they had to pay.

While Mary was upstairs putting Delly to bed Bash sat next to him on the living room, making sure to mess up the comfortable position Gilbert was in by putting his legs on the boy's lap and laying on the whole lenght of the couch.

“Sometimes I feel like you’re the real twenty-year-old in this house and I’m the parent,” Gilbert rolled his eyes, pushing Bash’s legs away.

“That’s cause you’re always grumpy. You know why you always grumpy, Blythe?” Bash smirked.

“I don’t want to know.”

“It’s because you need to get laid.”

“There we go…”

“Why can’t you be a normal young adult and get one of those apps to hook up?”

“Because everytime I try it, all I think about is how I could end up murdered or sick- Do you want me to die of syphilis, Bash? Is that what you want?”

“Don’t be dramatic.”

“I’m not that desperate for sex, anyway.”

“I don’t wanna know the context of that sentence at all,” Mary walked in holding a basket full of Delly’s clothes. “But since you have all this free time to talk about your sex life, why don’t you help me with the girl’s stuff and fold them while I make myself a cup of tea?”

“Sure,” Gilbert agreed, happy to change the subject.

___________________

“Am I asking too much? Does god hate me?”

The group groaned in exasperation at Ruby’s inquires.

“I think you should finish your tea and breathe,” Diana said patiently.

“What she needs is to get her shit together and understand that it’s the twenty-first century. No man is going to propose to you after a drunk make-out session, Ruby!” Josie rolled her eyes.

“I know that!” Ruby said defensively. “But he’d been so nice even before that... I thought he liked me!”

“Maybe he does,” Anne said. “You have to remember that it’s Christmas, maybe he’s shopping? Maybe his phone got busted? I don’t know, give him the benefit of the doubt!”

“You know what my advice is,” Cole said simply.

“Yes,” Diana and Anne said at the same time.

“I’m gonna say it anyway. Dump the idiot and live your best life. Why are you trying to have a serious relationship when half of the boys in college are desperately trying to get in your pants?”

“Are you trying to get her pregnant or with syphilis? Because that’s how you do it, that's how you get syphilis,” Anne said crossed her arms. “She doesn’t have to sleep around to be happy! She just needs to be logical!”

“Okay, Dr. Heart, what do you recommend?” Josie huffed.

Anne whined and curled up under the covers. Ruby and Josie were sitting at the edge of her bed while Diana and Cole laid casually on the floor, their heads against the pillows Anne had given them so they weren’t completely flat on the ground.

“I don’t know, I’ve never dated a guy for more than a month.”

“Ew, Roy,” Cole said instantly.

“But maybe… I don’t know, do you have his intagram or something?”

“I do,” Ruby sniffed. “I haven’t checked it cause I didn’t want to look desperate and you know how I always accidentally like old pictures…”

“Facebook?”

“No...”

“If you have his instagram, you have his facebook,” Cole said.

“How come?”

“Give me your phone,” His hand lifted from the ground, Ruby gave it to him.

“Okay, so we decided to go full stalker then,” Josie said bluntly.

“It’s either this or…” Anne stopped herself before saying ‘or hearing Ruby mop for another three hours’ but managed to hold her tongue just in time.

“This is for the best,” Diana replied almost as if talking of a medical procedure.

“Can someone go to the bathroom and fetch me the painkillers?” Anne groaned.

“I’ll go, see if I can drown myself in the toilet,” Josie mumbled. “I can’t believe you guys are my best friends…”

Anne laughed at that. Truth be told, Josie and her weren’t exactly close during their youth, Josie even sort of made her life a living hell for a whole year during Junior high, then some random dude tried to take advantage of her during a school dance and Anne stood up for her in front of the whole school. Josie spent the rest of her highschool years making up for her bad actions by defending Anne from any nasty comments anyone would throw her way.

She kept this up even during college, and Anne would’ve gladly told her it wasn’t necessary if it wasn’t because Josie seemed to get more insulted whenever Anne tried to point it out than if she was actually insulting her.

“You know what I’d love to have right now?” Anne yawned.

“A nap?”

“I’d love to have one of those god awful pancakes they used to make in our highschool’s cafeteria. God, they were awful, but for some reason I’m craving those fucking pancakes...”

“You ever crave flowers?” Diana asked absentmindedly.

“What?” Anne laughed. “What do you mean?”

“Like, you walk past a flower shop and you see a gorgeous bouquet, and then some random day you’re like, ‘Man, I wish I had the bouquet, it’d look amazing on my coffee table'”

“I… no– wow, I think it’s the first time you've beat me, Diana. That was the weirdest thing I’ve heard in a while.”

“Oh please, you love flowers, you must have felt that way at some point!”

“No, I swear,” Anne sat up. “I mean, maybe because if I see pretty flowers I just buy them, never been one to say no to buying flowers.”

“That’s the reason why our flat always stinks like gardenia, or roses, or lilies…” Cole adds distractedly.

“You know,” Ruby said, a bit calmer than before. “No boy has ever given me a bouquet.”

“That makes two of us,” Anne patted her knee.

“Three,” said Cole.

___________________

“So, Moody got mugged as soon as he left the bus station yesterday,” Gilbert sighed.

“Oh god, is he alright?” Winnie asked through the phone.

Winifred was back in town for the holidays, and she had many stories to tell about Paris and the girls she’d met there. She was one of Gilbert’s best friends from highschool, if not the only he still had from that time apart from Moody.

They were planning to have lunch the next day, but she’d called him to let him know she was home now, safe and sound, and they were chatting the night away.

“Yeah, a black eye and no phone or wallet, but fine,” Gilbert chuckled. “What’s worse is that he’s not even mad about that, he's upset that he won’t be able to text his girl...”

“What?!” She gasped. “I didn’t know Moody had a girlfriend!”

“He doesn’t,” The boy squinted. “Well, I think they saw each other the other night at the bar and they kissed, but I’m not so sure.”

“Right, because you were utterly shit-faced.”

“Yup.”

He heard her laugh.

“I miss you two so much! Honestly, sometimes I feel like french guys lack sense of humor.”

“Oh, but I bet the girls were quite amusing, considering you oficially dated at least two of them throughout the semester,” He teased.

“Didn’t say I wasn’t having fun,” Winnie replied, he could pictured her smirking. “Looks like the only one who’s got no game is Canada’s Golden Boy! What’s the matter, Gilbert? No girl is worthy of your charms? Are you waiting until marriage?”

“Not quite,” He grinned. “I’ve been busy studying, that’s all.”

“I worry about you, don’t want to see you in ten years all grey and grumpy.”

“That's awfully rude, Bash is not grey and he’s ten years older than us!”

“Yeah but I’ve heard that if you don’t have sex you die faster.”

“That’s the biggest slander I’ve ever heard. Don’t try to scare the future Doctor with fake news!”

“Well, future Doctor, I just want to make sure you don’t end up as the spinster of our group. Not that is bad, if you want to be alone that’s cool, but please don’t be a bitter one, you know, like those old librarians?”

“So what should I be then, the old spinster that invites you to have tea every sunday?”

“Yeah, you could even own a coffee shop- oh wait, you do!”

“Rude,” Gilbert frowned, but he was still smiling. “The Orchard is not a coffee shop, just so you know.“

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Winnie chuckled. “See you tomorrow?”

“Totally.”

“Got it!”

___________________

The girls straightened up at Cole’s announcement, all of them excited.

“And?” Diana urged him.

“Good news or bad news?”

“Bad news,” Cole looked up. “He posted this five hours ago…”

He handed the phone to Diana, then she gave it to Anne, there she read the most recent post on his page:

‘Someone stole my phone and wallet, please block the number in the meantime. If you need me you can send a private message here.’

“Could’ve been worse,” Anne gave the phone back to Ruby so she could read what it said.

Ruby sighed heavily.

“He doesn’t hate me.”

“Of course not, you’re a ray of freaking sunshine,” Josie retorted.

“I still think this is god giving you the opportunity to reconsider,” Cole replied. “Don’t commit, Ruby, you’re too young to get married–”

“She won’t get married!” Diana slapped his arm, then hesitated. “Well, at least not anytime soon... right, Ruby?”

“It’s late, children,” Marilla peeked through the door. “You can have dinner here if you want, we have room for all of you, but if you don’t then I suggest you to say your goodbyes now...”

“Thank you Marilla,” Anne smiled. “They’ll be on their way.”

“You can stay the night if you want as well,” Marilla added. “Matthew and I missed the fuss you kids make around the house whenever Anne invites you.”

“That’s so kind, thank you,” Ruby beamed.

Marilla left and Anne turned to look at the group.

“So any of you want to stay?”

“You know I do,” Cole smirked.

“Same,” Josie admitted. “My mom's being a pain right now: ‘Are you dating someone, love?’ ‘Will you ever give me grandchildren?’”

“I’d like to stay too,” Ruby said, deep in thought. “I know he’s not avoiding me, but I really don’t want to sleep alone tonight…”

“You have two younger sisters, Ruby.”

“It’s not the same!”

“See?” Cole said. “Ruby gets it!”

“I’ll have to pass,” Diana sighed. “My dad needs the car tomorrow morning, last minute shopping.”

“We still have next week,” Anne assured her with a small smile.

Taglist.

@ninizkd @http-itsrebecca @fuckthisshitimoutyall @just-here-to-escape-from-reality​​ @little-boats-on-a-lake