#out of character? this is MY sandbox go away

[wisecloudnightmare]

ohh like he's force-fed emotions but it's too much so he pukes it back out. Very distressing for both him and the witness (Tim)

wait what if the reason tim wanted to cry isn't from frustration? instead it's Danny's erupting emotion that affected him.

How old are they?

Nevertheless, with introduction like that, Tim and the bats are gonna be real protective of Danny.

"And then– I kicked ass and got crowned for it!" Danny sobs, the air around them filled with fear gas, Tim trying everything he can think of to console his little brother.

It's interesting to witness the way danny reacts to the gas with his biology–

Not now, Tim. Crying brother first.

"How about riding back to my apartment, hm? I'll get some takeout, and we watch movies." The mask makes it difficult, nothing he couldn't handle however.

The sobs don't decrease and Tim feels like sobbing himself now.

In a swoop, he's cradling danny, walking to his bike and driving off.

So much for getting to know your long estranged little brother.

[littlemissshoei]

I WANNA BE YOURS

TABITO KARASU X READER

18+

⭑ CONTENT WARNING: FRIENDS TO LOVERS, BROTHER'S BEST FRIEND, READER IS EITA'S TWIN SISTER, "FORBIDDEN" ROMANCE, SLIGHT SLOWBURN, ANGST, CONFESSIONS, L BOMB, READER GETS CHEATED ON, COMFORT, INEXPERIENCED!READER, VOICE KINK, 69, MISSIONARY, GENTLE TO ROUGH, PRAISE, MARKING, DIRTY TALK, CREAM & THROATPIE, AFTERCARE (characters are aged up to 21.)

⭑

YOU WERE DOWNRIGHT PERFECT in his eyes. Everything about you was inexplicably captivating, to the point he was reminded of you through every single thing he did or saw. Be it the beautiful flowers with their sickeningly sweet aromas on a field, or the sunset that graced him each time he walked back home after practice. The first thing that popped into his mind was you, always had, ever since your very first meeting.

You two go way back, and with way back it means all the way to elementary school, where your brother — no one other than the infamous Eita Otoya — tried to hunt down any interested girl in the sandbox without success. Instead, he managed to hunt down a friend; Tabito Karasu.

While the white haired boy was slightly dissapointed with the lack of courted girls, he was happy enough to chitchat about something he enjoyed doing most, that being football. The two boys seemed to have similiar interest, and so, a rather peculiar friendship ended up blossoming on a beautiful summer day.

One of the first things the ravenette noticed as he played football with his newly acquired friend was this certain girl that would walk up to him every now and then, either handing him a water bottle, telling him off or bringing him a snack. It was surprising to see Otoya being able to conversate with a girl normally, hell, he even seemed annoyed by her at times! This obviously piqued Karasu's interest, leading to him asking the burning question:

"Who is that girl?"

"Who? [name]?" He replied, pointing in the [haircolor] haired girl's direction, who just so happened to see it, sticking her tongue out at the little boy. "My twin sister. She can be soo annoying.." Otoya copied his sister's move, sticking out his tongue before turning his gaze back to Karasu. "You wouldn't wanna be friends with her, trust me! I'm way cooler."

The ravenette simply nodded, yet his mind wandered back to her over and over again.

"You don't look like each other!" He blurted out in hopes of keeping the conversation running, even if it was just for a little longer. "Good! She's ugly. Now let's continue this!" Was the reply he was met with, a clear sign of the conversation reaching its end. It was fine though, he had more than enough time to get to know her anyway.

And he was right! His friendship with Eita grew with the day, and soon enough the two became closests friends, a benefit of that being visiting his home.

THE RAVENETTE'S FIRST "OFFICIAL" meeting with you was nothing out of the usual. His parents had dropped him off at your house, and the first person he saw in the livingroom was you.

"Hello. Are you Eita's twin sister?" he asked you oh so politely, smiling softly when he took notice of your soft, almost shy nod. "You're Karasu?" "Yes." Before the two could continue their conversation, Otoya showed up, swooping away his friend. Luckily, the older you grew, the better you got along with Otoya, and the closer you managed to get to Tabito.

You found him an interesting guy. He had a strange way of doing his hair, almost rooster like. But that didn't tarnish any of his beauty. He looked almost sculpted, straight out of a painting. Beauty marks adorning his face, sparkling blue eyes, a killer smile, tall. He was everything someone could wish for, and so much more.

Alongside the fact he looked good, he also had the personality that could swoon any girl off their feet. Calm and collected, good with his words, patient, and a smart guy. While he was annoying for his constant teasing, You couldn't deny your admiration, and the fact he managed to stick around your excuse of a brother for so long.

It wasn't like you HATED Eita, no. You loved him very much. It was just his constant habit of cheating on girls and changing relationships like socks that always managed to start an arguments. Aside from that, the two of you were like two peas in one pod.

While you enjoyed hanging around Eita, the evenings seemed to get more pleasant whenever his best friend was around. You couldn't understand it exactly, but you KNEW that there was something there. It was like a strange, bubbling sensation in your chest each time you looked into his eyes, accidental brushes against hand or bumping into each others causing butterflies in your stomach. Then there was also the fact that being around him simply felt right. You recalled the amount of times he sat down, listening to your endless rants about Eita's stupid behaviour without saying a single thing. And each time, he'd comfort you, reassure you, and most of all, side with you. It was something you never really understood, after all, you guys weren't that close, meanwhile he and Otoya had a tightly knit friendship, so why would he choose your comfort over defending your brother's pride?

Everything unfortunately finds it end, and so did your closeness with Tabito. You never knew why he decided to distance himself, and to be frank, it hurt you, very much so, but deep down you knew that it had something to do with a certain someone.

"You know.. I'm just glad you're not into my sister or some shit, you know. like in all those cliche romance movie." Eita snickered, combing a hand through his wet, messy hair. The two had taken a small break from practice to hydrate and catch their breath. "Oh? How come you find that cliche?" He asked innocently, eyebrows arching up and scrunching slightly as the white haired boy's lips formed a grin "Come on now, it's just so weird. Why would you even, I could hook you up with one of my girls, you know?" He replied, nudging the ravenette. "You know I'm not interested in dating right now." Karasu stated, shaking his head dissaprovingly. "Yes man, I know. I was just joking, can't take things these days now, can you?" "I know bro, I know. I was just teasing you." Otoya seemed satisfied with his reply, waiting for him to finish his drink before heading back onto the field, leaving the conversation long forgotten.

That didn't mean Karasu didn't notice the underlying tone Eita had been putting up, no. He understood that his best friend had created a wall, one that he in no way was allowed to climb. Maybe he noticed and didn't like how close the two of you were, or maybe he just didn't want any bad blood between you if something were to ever happen, but, the message was clear.

Stay away from [name] Otoya, his sister is off limits But there is just about a limit that a man can take.

FAST FORWARDS, THREE YEARS had passed since his unspoken promise to Eita. He had significantly distanced himself from you, struggling to keep it up each time you so desperately looked him in the eyes, hoping to restore what you guys had before, but soon, you stopped, and finally accepted that this wasn't going to go anywhere.

The ravenette couldn't deny his dissapointment, but he understood that it was for the better. Atleast, in his best friend's point of view.

Over the years you had become more and more beautiful. And your personality changed too. You went from preferring to shy away from people, to someone that enjoyed any types of interaction. Your brother definitely had part in that, but you certainly didn't seem to mind. You became slightly bolder, not caring about anyones words, but most importantly, you started dating. Something that felt like a knive in his back.

Yes, he had dated too, but not once did he feel that same, warm, fuzzy feeling like he did around you, but he couldn't back out of his promise.

Words reached his ears that you had gotten a new boyfriend, and he couldn't stop himself from asking Otoya all about the news.

"[name]? Oh yeah. She's got a real asshole now. Looks good but I can smell a cheater from miles away. They've been together for how long now? A month? She says he's a good guy but I cannot trust that man."

Once his name had rolled off his tongue, Karasu's eyebrows furrowed. The name was all too familiar, Aiku Oliver was a renowed playboy around. Why would she go for someone as low as that, someone that went against all her principles? Hell, even Otoya was against him!

Either way, it wasn't his business. As long as you were happy, then so was he. His best friend made him an appealing invitation of getting drinks, which he gladly took. He most certainly didn't expect everything to turn around that summer night.

EVEN WITH THE PARTY atmosphere, his mind kept wandering back to Eita's words. And almost as if on cue, a notification reached his phone

"I'm going to fucking cry.. that bastard cheated on me and left me out in the rain.. Toya please pick me up."

His eyes widened, feeling the anger boil inside him. Karasu's gut feeling was always right. And even if he knew the message wasn't mean for him, the ravenette knew it was time to act up.

Just as he put his jacket on, Otoya came back from the bathroom, confused to see his best friend on the brink of leaving.

"Where you going man?" He asked, a little caught off guard and tipsy "Got some urgent business. I'll see you around." He replied before hurrying off into the night. It was a convenient mistake that [name] sent him the location too before checking who the message went to. Before he knew it, his car arrived in front of a bench where a girl was sitting in the rain, drenched and crying. Her face slowly looked up, not understanding what was going on until Tabito rolled the window down.

"Get in [name]"

You didn't even question it, instead, nodded before slouching towards the other side of the car, taking seat in front and putting on her seatbelt.

"You sent me the message, not Otoya. I came here the moment I saw it."

You didn't reply, just nodded and kept your head down. The male sighed, stopping the car in front of an apartment building near college.

"I'm not letting you home in this state. Come on upstairs, you can take a shower and lend some of my clothes."

You understood that you couldn't deny his offer and silently followed behind him, doing everything mentioned before you found yourself sitting in the middle of his couch, wearing some of his older clothes, pillow cradled on your lap as you looked into the distance, deep in thoughts.

"[name]?" His voice managed to snap you back to reality. You blinked a few times before turning your head slightly, looking at the male that sat next to you. "Tell me, what happened?" Those were the only words you needed to hear before bursting into tears, pouring your heart and soul out to your brother's best friend. It was almost as if your sobbing intensified the moment he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer in the progress. He smelled so good, he felt like home, but you remembered how he distanced himself, causing you to push him away and refuse to meet his gaze.

"Hey now, what's wrong [nickname]?" He asked, his voice oh so sweet, like fresh honey. You murmured something under your breath, ignoring his questions until his fingers wrapped around your chin, lifting it up to make you forcefully look at him. Your eyes widened in surprise, unsure why he was so so persistent. "Drop it, Karasu." You whispered, a faint blush spreading across your cheeks.

His face backed away slightly. What was up with these formalities? "Why are you calling me Karasu, I thought we established it's Tabito ages ago." It was hard. With each sentence rolling off his tongue you wanted to scream and yell at him, to tell him how much he hurt you, how unfair it was for him to cast you aside. What happened to all the lingering eyecontact? The subtle hugs? The kind words? Nothing was left of them, they're nothing but a memory you clutched onto, desperately waiting for its return.

"Please.. don't do this to me, tell me what's wrong [nickname], please."

That just so happened to be her last straw.

"Why would I?! Why are you suddenly acting so caring and concerned after you casted me aside so easily all those years ago?" Your voice was laced with venom, tears intensifying with each accusation thrown his way. All he could do was bow his head down in embarrassment. You were right. He fucked up big time.

The ravenette knew that right now might not be the best time. You just got cheated on and broken up with. You were hurt, overwhelmed even. And he made a promise to his friend.

But he simply couldn't help it.

Before you knew it, his lips had crashed into yours, hands holding both of your cheeks as he pulled you closer. It wasn't an unpleasant surprise, and it didn't take long for you to melt into the kiss, gasping and giving his tongue access after he bit your lower lip.

It was a passionate kiss, one that left you breathless. The way his tongue swirled around yours, exploring every nook and cranny of your mouth while his thumbs lovingly caressed the skin under your eyes. After what seemed like an eternity, the two of you parted, only connected by a string of saliva, witness of your act. "Look at me."

You couldn't look away anymore, and finally met his gaze. The same, strange glisten in his eyes from all those years ago was still there.

"Do you think I wanted to distance myself..?" He asked, tone dropping as he inched closer towards her ear. "Do you know how much I regret it..?" His words sent shivers down your spine, and you shuddered, face flushed. "Then why did you...?" You asked, muttering up the courage for the much anticipated question. "Eita made it sure you were off limits. I was scared to cross the line.. what if I ended up hurting you?"

His voice was trembling slightly, and you couldn't stop your hand from cupping his cheek. Karasu was slighyly caught off guard by your action, but leaned into the touch.

"But why would you care about what Otoya said?" You continued, voice laced with a slight desperation.

"Because I love you."

You froze, eyes widened at his sudden confession. At first, it didn't make sense, but then every puzzle piece found its place on the table. And your feelings became clear too.

Who cared about Eita right now, the two of you could handle him later.

Instead of returning his words you pulled him into another heartfelt kiss, even more heated than the last one, and soon enough you found yourself laying on the couch, arms wrapped around his neck as you moaned into the kiss

WHEN YOU FINALLY PARTED you muttered up the courage to say it. "I love you too, Tabito." This time it was his turn to stare at you in disbelief, but that expression quickly got switched out for a warm, loving gaze. "Then would you give me the honour of being your boyfriend?" You nodded "There is nothing else that i've rather would've wanted."

You don't know how much time had passed since your confession. Within the blink of an eye he had lifted you up, and now you found yourself laying on his bed, with him hovering over you.

"Fuck.."

He muttered as he leaned down, hot breath ghosting over your skin as he started peppering open mouth kisses all over your neck, trailing down to your exposed collarbone, leaving hickeys in its wake.

"I'm much better than that asshole anyway, fuckin' hell. Look at the treasure he just lost."

You tried to cover up the string of moans rolling off your tongue, but the ravenette stopped you.

"Don't do that. You sound so good moaning out my name with those pretty lips of yours."

You understood what this could lead to, so before he had the chance to take things further, you stopped him.

"I uh.. I'm not really.. good with this stuff." You admitted embarrased. "Wait, you're a virgin?!" "Ah.. no. I just.. did it once. And never again since." "Bad experience?" He asked softly, a reassuring smile on his face. "You could say. Definitely not pleasurable." Karasu chuckled. "We don't have to do it. I want you to feel comfortable." "It's not that! I am. Very comfortable in fact.. I just don't wanna ruin it for you.."

The boy shook his head.

"You're not ruining anything for me. In fact, I'm glad I can be the one to change your experience for the better. If you'll allow me, that is."

You nodded with no hesitation. The last confirmation the boy needed before taking action.

Soon enough you found yourself back in his grasp, hands roaming all over her body, leaving no inch untouched. Moans and whimpers escaped your lips, only fueling his desire and the growing warmth he felt. You were stripped naked, a little nervous to reveal yourself to him. But any doubt quickly washed away once you noticed the bulge in his pants, and the flushed expression adorning his face.

The sound of rustling snapped you back to reality, and you were met by a sight so lewd, you had to squeeze your legs together. There he was in all his glory. It was like you JUST started noticing how well built he was. Those chiseled abs that look too unreal to be true, his somewhat muscular form, and the moles littered across his body. And obviously the hard, throbbing cock to was standing proudly, precum leaking from the tip. This whole situation was to die for.

You gulped nervously, wondering how this was gonna fit you, but Karasu already had the plan worked out. His hands pushed your legs open while he lowered his face, dangerously close to your core. You could feel his hot breath fanning across the skin of your inner thighs, instinctively wanting to close your legs again before his large hands took hold of them, keeping them pried open.

"Let me make you feel good baby, okay?"

"But you're hard too, what about you?"

A devilish little grin spread across his face as he lifted his head up.

"I might have just the solution for that?"

And with that you found yourself hovering on top of him minutes later, facing his hardened lenght while your dripping cunt dangeled in front of his face. You were nervous, and even a little embarrassed. This whole scene was so dirty, but you couldn't help but get turned on by it all.

"Come on. Lower yourself beautiful. Nothing's gonna happen."

Slowly, agonizingly slow, you started doing so. Karasu being the impatient man he is couldn't wait any longer, instead, his hands took hold of your waist, pulling you down within the blink of an eye. A muffled moan escaped your lips as his tongue started its attack on your hole, licking the folds clean like a madman.

Your hands found their way to his cock, face lowered a little more as you gave it a few kitten licks, feeling his nails digging into your skin with each contact. The sensation was overbearing, but you managed to finally wrap your lips around his cock, tongue swirling around it as you did whatever you could to make him feel good.

If it wasn't enough already, you suddenly felt his fingers grazing your skin, just before plunging two digits inside you. You were a moaning mess, trying to keep up as his tongue fucked you into a mess. Your head bobbed up and down, taking his lenght like your life depended on it.

You felt your orgasm nearing, and he knew it. The ravenette kept you in place, wanting to savour every last drop of your essence. He was close too, and moments later, the both of you reached your climax. Your throat got painted white, and you swallowed the salty substance, slowly taking his still hard cock out.

Karasu carefully lifted you off him, laying you back onto the bed. Your eyes widened when you noticed him licking his lips.

"Thank you for the meal."

"What?! Don't say that!"

"Why? Is my girl getting all shy? We're not done yet."

With one swift movement he got between your legs, positioning his member to be aligned with your aching hole. His gaze met yours, searching for any trace of doubt, any trace of unwant. But all he could find was a fiery passion burning in your eyes, desire glistening in the dimly lit room.

"Last chance to back out.." He whispered, tip grazing in between your wet folds. "Not in a thousand years."

The male smirked, hands gliding from your thighs to your knees, settling there.

"Your wish is my command."

His tip found its way to your entrace, pressing against it as he carefully started pushing it in.

"Deep breaths, [name] You can do this."

You nodded, hissing at the sharp pain that enveloped you as the ravenette pushed his lenght inside you. Little by little, you got filled up, letting out a stiffled moan when you felt him balls deep inside. The male let out a heavy breath as he leaned against you, pushing you deeper into the matress with all his weight. The skin on skin contact, the feeling of him buried deep inside you, his hot breath against your neck, it was deliciously overwhelming.

"Tell me when you're ready."

You nodded shortly after his words, and seconds later his hips started moving oh so carefully, pulling his lenght all the way out, just to move it back in. You were a moaning mess, fingers tangled in his hair as he bullied his throbbing cock into your tight, sopping cunt. Your brain felt like it could melt at any second, his words of praise only fueling the satisfaction.

"You're doing so well for me, look at that, you're such a pretty mess for me baby.."

The pace went on for a while, until you started whinining for him to go faster.

"Thought ya'd never ask.."

He replied, pressing a soft kiss to your temple before snaking his arms around your waist, slamming his length back in so deep, you felt it all the way in your stomach.

Karasu had never felt so good before. The way your walls clenched around his hard cock, squeezing it to the point it felt suffocating. The loud moans escaping your lips, your nails digging into his back. The way your cunt sucked him right back in, making it impossible to pull out, it was simply heavenly.

"Feels good, doesn't it?"

He cooed, watching you nod and moan. He was fucking you dumb, and enjoying every single second of it.

"T..tabito fuck! I'm gonna.."

"Me too.. fuck. Wanna feel you come around me.. can I?"

"Yeah.."

His pace intensified, mercilessly pumping in and out. He felt your orgasm nearing, and his too. Soon enough, you moaned out his name, legs wrapped around him as you rode out the pleasure, having made a mess on his cock.

"Good girl.. me next now."

He slurred, the words barely leaving his lips before he released inside you, filling you to the brim with his essence. With a few more deep, lazy thrusts he fucked his come into you, making sure it's as deep as it can be, before pulling out and laying next to you. He watched you as your chest heaved with each breath, still recovering from the wild ride.

"Are you alright? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No, no. It's fine. You didn't."

He smiled, his fingers pushing away strands of hair from your face.

"Let me go get you some water and a towel."

After helping you clean up and making sure you're alright, the two of you laid there in his bed, surrounded by a comfortable silence as he cradled you in his arms. This was how it was supposed to be, you were there, with him, exactly where you belonged. Eita was gonna have to suck this one up.

DEDICATED TO VIKY, NENI AND ALL THE KARASU FANS OUT THERE THAT ARE STARVING FOR CONTENT

[ladykailitha]

Around the World Part 8

Hey guys!!! Just one more chapter to go!! Next Sunday will be the epilogue and I will post it Sunday and Tuesday and it'll be all done. It's honestly a little sad for me to see this little universe go. I loved playing in its sandbox and I am grateful to have gotten three stories out it. Will I return? Maybe, but right now, it has run its course.

In this we have Eddie fucking up and making up for it and we see the start of a blossoming romance that will take awhile to come to fruition.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

~

Eddie paid a gondolier in Venice to dress up in Carnivale gear and ferry them through the city with their own costumes and masks. Murray opted to sit that one out as there was no way that anyone would recognize Eddie in the Harlequin getup he wore. Steve wore the white baggy outfit of Pulcinella while Robin and Chrissy dressed as the lovers, in fancy dresses and fitted clothes.

Eddie had wanted Steve to Colombina or even a male version Colombo. But Steve was still worried someone might recognize them. He was drawn in on himself during that river trip, with not even the antics of Robin as the male lover and Eddie as Harlequin drawing him out of his shell.

He handled the mask he was wearing better than his peers, having been used to singing and dancing with one on. When they removed theirs, laughing and talking rapidly, they were covered in sweat and smeared makeup.

Steve had sweat on his temples but was otherwise unscathed.

“You know,” Chrissy huffed, putting her hands on the flared skirt of her costume, “you could have share your tricks with us before leaving the hotel.”

Steve cracked a smile for the first time that evening. “Unless you can suddenly have three years of performing in a mask under your belt, I really don’t think my advice would help.”

Robin opened her mouth to protest, but Eddie grabbed Steve’s wrist and ran off with him. The girls started to give chase, but Murray stepped up to stop them.

He shook his head. “Just let them go. I think Steve is feeling a little morose having to wear a mask on his vacation away from being masked all the time.”

Chrissy and Robin shared opened-mouth glances of shock. No one had stopped to ask Steve if he was okay with the costumes and the masks.

“But he could have gone as Colombina or Colombo or whatever,” Robin protested. “That character doesn’t wear a mask.”

“But the rest of you were.”

“Oh.” Chrissy sat down hard on a nearby bench and Robin followed suit. Typically the lovers don’t wear masks but they all thought it would be a fun idea to wear Venetian masks on the gondola. Well most of them.

And then add to the fact that Steve picked someone who wore shapeless garments? Yeah, they fucked up.

Hard.

~

Steve could barely keep his feet under him as Eddie shoved him into a nook away from prying eyes.

“I fucked up,” Eddie hissed as soon as he was sure they were safe from view. “I couldn’t be here during Carnivale and wanted to experience the costumes and the masks and thrill of a river ride at night. But I didn’t ask you. I assumed you’d be fine despite everything screaming that you weren’t. You even tried to ask to do something else, but everyone else wanted to do it and my kindhearted sweetheart would never disappoint his soulmate, never mind his boyfriend so you went along with it.”

Eddie took his face in his hands. “I’m sorry Stevie. I’m so sorry. This was supposed to be romantic and I fucked up.”

Steve’s lower lip began to quiver. “I should have been more vocal about why I didn’t want to do it.”

Eddie pressed their foreheads together. “No you shouldn’t have. You don’t owe us an explanation of why you don’t want to do something. Okay?”

Steve nodded.

Eddie lifted his head and pressed their lips together. “I love you, baby.”

~

Rome was better than Venice in every way imaginable.

For starters, no masks.

For another, they happened to be there when Simon was.

Well, okay that was better for Steve, not so much Eddie. It was a feeling that was just so hard to shake. He knew that Simon was straight. He knew that Steve loved only him, but he felt his stomach drop the second he saw that stupidly buff Adonis leaning against the Key bridge, like he was waiting for Steve to share a lock with, not Eddie.

He tried to tramp down on the feelings of jealousy as Robin and Steve ran up to Simon and were hugging and laughing with him.

Chrissy put her hand on his elbow. “Down, boy.”

Eddie turned to her, bristling but when he looked at her, she was pointing to a bench not too far away from the bridge.

Eddie’s salvation. With bright red hair, green eyes, and cute freckles on her face. Vickie Cameron.

It didn’t appear that she was aware of the reunion going on literally twenty feet from where she chose to read.

A grin spread out over Eddie’s face. He licked his lips slowly and did his little loping walk/run over to Vickie.

“Well hey there, stranger,” he said brightly. “Fancy meeting you here. You here for business or pleasure?”

Vickie looked up and smiled just as brightly. “Eddie? Oh my gosh! It’s great to see you!” She leapt to her feet to give him a hug. “It’s a little of both actually.”

“How are you doing?” Eddie asked with a fond smile. Despite his current mission, he really did like his new agent.

She waved her hand back and forth. “Eh. I’ve been keeping up on things and they’ve really been quiet. The new looks have really gone a long way to keeping a low profile. Boston notwithstanding.”

Eddie winced. Boston was still a sore spot of their trip.

She picked at his lapel, running it between her finger and thumb. “I’m really digging the pink suit and shirt. It looks good on you.”

Eddie grinned back. “That’s all Stevie. Speak of whom, would you do me a favor, light of my eyes?”

Vickie snorted. “I thought that was Steve but go on.”

“Do you see that beautiful hunk of a straight man next to my heart of hearts?” he asked, pointing over at Simon.

“Ah.”

“Yeah,” Eddie said, grimacing. “You see I have this very romantic evening planned and that bronze Adonis will absolutely derail all my best laid plans.”

“Consider it done,” Vickie said with a smile. “Lead on, MacDuff.”

Eddie loped back over to the others. “While you were admiring the statues, you missed a beautiful rose in bloom.” He moved to the side. “Look who I found!”

“Vickie!” Robin squealed and threw her arms around the other woman.

Then it was Chrissy’s turn to bristle.

“Down, girl,” Eddie teased. “I have a plan. Your little bird is safe, I promise.”

Simon lit up too. “Vickie! Imagine meeting you here.”

Chrissy’s mouth formed an O. She pursed her lips and ducked her head, slyly looking at the painfully shy guitarist. So that’s the plan then, she thought. Three couples.

Steve was torn. He liked Simon and loved hanging out with the guy, but Rome was supposed to make up for the disastrous Venice.

“I have an idea!” Chrissy said, coming to the rescue, her manager senses tingling. “Why don’t Robin and I take Vickie and Simon out to dinner so that Eddie and Steve can still have their night and then we’ll all meet up for breakfast.”

Simon readily agreed. “We’ll meet at the Fontanella degli Innamorati at, say, 9am?”

Steve looked to Robin to translate.

“The Fountain of Love.”

Steve nodded. “Sounds good. You four have fun!” He grabbed Eddie’s wrist and tore off the opposite direction.

Eddie followed behind, laughing. He really didn’t have anything to worry about. Steve would chose him every time unless it was an emergency.

~

Eddie and Steve had a wonderful candlelit dinner and moonlit walk of the city. The walked to the Key Bridge and Eddie pulled out an antique lock with their initials engraved on the back. He held it out to Steve with the key.

“Did you want to do the honors?”

Steve smiled and took them both from him. He looked up and down the bridge looking for a good spot, Eddie watching with a fond smile. Finally Steve called Eureka! and Eddie made his way over. Near the middle, toward the top, Steve snapped their lock into place.

He handed the key back to Eddie. “I placed it, I think you should throw away the key.”

Eddie grinned. “Sounds fair.” He took the key and chucked it as far as he could. It landed in the water with a soft plunk!

Then he got got down on one knee and held out a small velvet box. Steve’s hands went to cover his mouth as he fought back tears.

“I know we can’t do rings because Abbadon doesn’t wear them,” Eddie began, “but he does wear other jewelry.” He opened the box and inside was a single charm on a delicate chain. It was a guitar. He pulled out a similar chain from under his shirt. It was a pair of wings. He pulled up his shirt sleeve to show that the tattoo had been altered too.

Steve looked down at the white wings in confusion.

“After Venice,” he continued, “I realized that you aren’t your mask, Stevie. You’re the wings. The way you fly is incandescent. So I had it changed to wings so that I will always remember that if I fall you will catch me.”

Tears started flowing down Steve’s cheeks. “I love you so much.”

“Will you marry me?” Eddie asked. “We don’t have to get married right away but–”

Steve pulled him to his feet and kissed him soundly. “Of course yes!! A million times yes.”

~

The next morning they all meet for breakfast and Steve and Eddie shared the news.

Simon smiled. “About time!” he said nudging Eddie shoulder playfully. “I was starting to think I was going to have to give you the shovel talk if you didn’t ask him on this trip.”

Eddie blushed.

They walked back to the Fountain of Love and there was a beautiful older woman there in a white dress and large brimmed hat, dipping her fingers into the pool and splashing any pigeons that got too close.

She looked up at the six of them and smiled. “A coin for the fountain, dearies? To ensure true love?”

Simon and the all the ladies hastened to get out a Euro or two for the fountain. She turned to Eddie and Steve.

“Is love too good for you gentlemen?” she teased.

“No ma’am,” Steve said softly, looking up at Eddie. “I just already have it.”

Her face transformed into a brilliant smile. “Aww, young love. Well then perhaps an offering to the fountain as thanks for your good fortune?”

Eddie and Steve shared a glance and then Eddie dug into his pocket. He handed Steve a Euro and they both tossed in their coin.

“Thank you,” she murmured and then looked over at Simon and Vickie laughing together. “How long do you think it will take the other young man to realize the lady is his true love?”

Eddie chuckled. “Well it took Steve and me a decade and they’re way smarter than us. So half that maybe. Five years give or take?”

The woman nodded solemnly. “I fear you maybe right. But they’ll get there.”

A flock of pigeons took to the air and when they had gone, so too, had the woman.

“Stevie?” Eddie asked anxiously. “Did we talk to another spirit?”

Steve pressed his lips together and nodded wide-eyed, rocking back on his heels.”Yep!”

“I hope that was some ghostie,” Eddie said with a grimace, “and not actually a god.”

“Same.”

~

Narrator voice: Just Venus, blessing our boys. Nothing to see here, move along.

Part 9

Tag List:

1- @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence

3- @goodolefashionedloverboi @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @irregular-child @blondie1006

4- @yikes-a-bee @bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten

5- @genderless-spoon @y4r3luv @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt

6- @disrespectedgoatman @dawners @thespaceantwhowrites @tinyplanet95 @garden-of-gay

7- @iamthehybrid @croatoan-like-its-hot @papergrenade @cryptid-system @counting-dollars-counting-stars

8- @ravenfrog @w1ll0wtr33 @child-of-cthulhu @kultiras @dreamercec

9- @machete-inventory-manager @useless-nb-bisexual @stripey82 @dotdot-wierdlife @kal-ology

10- @sadisticaltarts @urkadop @chameleonhair @clockworkballerina

[lacrimosathedark]

The Radioapple Haters™️ are at it again.

This time they're attacking shippers with the newly released Playbill.

There's so many issues with that. Beyond harassing people for ships is dumb.

This is what people are pointing at.

This is on the cast info page. It says Lucifer misses his wife.

So, three things about that.

Firstly, We Been Knew, babe.

His very first appearance, after his daughter says her parents split up, he's in a room covered in pictures of not just said daughter, but her mother too, and he's still wearing a presumed wedding band. If that's not "showing not telling" with a goddamn airhorn, idk how more clear it could get without Lucifer flat out saying he misses Lilith. So like...this is not new info. So there's nothing to really rub in. We knew this.

Secondly, this is in-character Lucifer saying this.

I'm not a professional, but when I was in high school performances, we wrote our own little Playbill bio info things. That seems to carry into professional ones too. If you can read the actual cast, some of the the actors less entrenched in the fandom culture have basically an IMDB of their relevant previous roles, while the ones you see at cons are more personable. Those were written by the actors. So, logically, the character bios are written as if by the characters. This could not be made more obvious.

So, logically, you can read that little above as Lucifer himself actually saying he misses his wife. Which leads me to--

Third, break-ups are messy and painful and Lucifer not moving on, unwilling to remove his ring or call Lilith his ex, doesn't mean they are still together. Hell, they could still even be technically married, doesn't mean they're still romantically entangled.

Look, I know the only seeming one-sided relationships in the show is Vox/Alastor and Adam/Lilith and every other "pair" are together or at least friendly (Chaggie, Huskerdust, Cherrisnake, Staticmoth, Guitarspear) but not every separation has to be a violent resentful split. Lucifer is explicitly Depressed™️ which can be hard for any partner to deal with, especially someone as ambitious as Lilith. It wouldn't be surprising if she, not even cruelly, thought she'd be more successful away from him even if he still loves her.

And all this is on top of the fact that most Radioapple shippers don't expect their ship to happen (some hope it does, some hope it doesn't, I'm personally neutral on the concept), and that a lot of writers and artists explicitly acknowledge and use Lucifer's love for Lilith in Radioapple because people love the drama.

I have several posts listing why one might ship Radioapple so I won't go off about it here, but suffice to say the entanglement between Lilith and Alastor and how the two are similar and different makes interacting with Lucifer interesting from any angle.

This also hurts me personally a bit because a lot of these people are Lucilith shippers and, yall, I'm one of you. I don't want them to get back together for many reasons, but I would love to see endless flashbacks of them obnoxiously in love. Most of my favorite works of fanart aren't even Radioapple, my primary ship, but Lucilith, in large part because of how adorable they are. How indulgent or smitten Lilith can look. How adorably excited or flustered or just happy Lucifer can be.

I love Lucilith. I adore Lucifer. I just also think his interactions with Alastor are funny and intriguing.

We don't need to hate each other. We can try to keep our little sandboxes separate, but we can play nice when we spill into each other, can't we?

I am really just so sick of the silly in-fighting. It costs zero dollars and zero energy to not be a dick. Need to type out a rant to get it out and off your chest? cool. But you can post it privately or delete it instead of going into peoples' ask boxes and and posts to be nasty. Not having the self control and wherewithal to not go out of your way to be a dick to people is honestly pretty pathetic. If you think you're so much better, prove it by being better, or being smug in your space. Making people feel like shit for a nonexistent fictional relationship does literally nothing for anyone and makes YOU look worse.

Dislike the ship all you want. No one cares either way. Just don't waste your limited time in this life making your distaste everyone else's problem.

[biasbuck]

BiAsBuck’s ficrec Fridays

Less that a week to go!! Happy fraturday, and a very happy birthday to Mr Guzman. Here's another round of the fic I've been reading this week, you can find previous rec lists here.

21 September 2024

ice cream before dinner by cloudydaisies is a pitch perfect Eddie POV fic as he babysits Mara and Jee-Yun following 7x10, winning them over with icecream tuesdays, love and support. I saw so many people loving on this and then caught my eye even more with some gorgeous cover art by @walkingonawire and yes, everyone was right, it absolutely melted my heart. Just a beat for beat joy of a fic, Eddie's internal journey and the sweet bond of trust and love built between the trio, as he awaits Chris' return, and allows himself to open his heart up to Buck along the way. Beautifully written and delightful!

all you're giving me is friction by @henswilsons ahhhh such a wonderful 5+1 buddie fic in which Eddie joins the 118 and Hen is a little worried that Buck's flirting with him will cross a line...seeing as he's wearing a wedding ring. This is such a fun fic with the elephant in the room...because you know what she doesn't know you know, right? And waiting for the reveal and watching it dawn on them is so brilliantly funny in execution.

wherever you roam (you'll always want me) by @buddieism canon divergent following 7x05 in which Eddie would rather 'go to his grave repressed and miserable than ever take away from Buck’s happiness.' But in unpacking what would make Eddie himself happy, he comes to realise with some help and a look at what brought him to this point in his life that that might not be up to him. Aching and painfully cathartic and ultimately full of hope.

the cat's meow by @exhuastedpigeon GIVE. EDDIE. A CAT. (Do it for me!) When Eddie finds a box of abandoned kittens at the side of the road, he takes them to the shelter...but falls ass over teakettle for little calico Pinto (like the beans). Reluctant to let on to the existence of his new furry little friend, he keeps her close to his chest. When Buck finds out, he's unable to resist falling under the spell of her charms...or her owners. Sweet, romantic fluff...with such great character voice....and whiskers!! So freakin' cute.

glass on the pavement under my shoe by @doitbuckley a Buck POV fic under Gerrards command, taking a risk that puts his life on the line to save Eddie. But all these years later, he's not sure he's so readily okay with having to say goodbye for real, even in the line of duty. Some lyrically written introspection and growth from Buck here in the way he understands and embraces life vs death situations.

Hot Ghost Problems by @ebjameston in which Eddie is a natural born witch in a world where magic isn't a secret though he keeps it close to his chest. But on joining the 118 he meets Buck...only Evan Buckley is the firefighter who died that Eddie was here to replace. Tethered together by magic, Buck refuses to move on, and in staying around he saves Eddie along the way. With some excellent Diaz sister cameos, a brilliantly intriguing mystery, and a whole heap of magic, they race against time to save the day and might just get to keep their happily ever after. I had such a great time reading this one from 2023!

the tortured poets department by @colonoscopys more magic! 'The first time Buck touched him, Eddie blew an ambulance up.' Magic sparks under his skin, and falling in love with Buck feels a lot like when it overwhelms him with feeling. Eddie thinks he's doing a good job keeping it secret, but somethings are obvious to those who know what signs to look out for. This one felt like a little bit of magic shared, sweet, sexy and full of all sorts of sparks!

Okay let's leave it there for this week. Next week we'll have a new episode to play with! Can you believe it? I'll be on a little work trip and then a vacation so looking forward to joining you all in the sandbox soon. So excited to be back with the firefam again.

[h50europe]

So, this happened overnight on my AO3 account for my Buck/Tommy plot. Mornings are for lovers, and I had a blast reading it. So somewhere went out on a limp and left me these notes full of verbal diarrhea.

What I take from it is that Buck has no right of a life on his own. If Eddie's life is in shambles, Buck has to suffer along with him. He has no right to have a happy life with Tommy. He has no right to have sex with Tommy; hell, he shouldn't even have had dinner with Tommy after what happened at Eddie's.

I get it, tin hats, I get it. And there is even a name for it!

These comments only confirm what we know. Bi-Buck is okay as long as he is Bi with Eddie. Bi with Tommy is bad. Het with women is also not okay. Nothing is okay if it is not with Eddie.

I don't know if I should be amused about using Christopher as a cock blocker argument. Hm...

And Tommy is nothing but a plot device for them. Wow, I didn't even know there was a 9-1-1 leaker. I hope they leak, not just BS others.

You know, I truly enjoy being a weirdo if I can be happy for a fictional character to come out after six seasons full of hints about his bisexuality with someone other than his ride-or-die who's currently in an awful mental place (like the Tin Hat followers).

But I refuse to wrap my hat in tin foil concerning "Buddie." I am a multishipper. In Tommy's voice, "You know, you can have more than one ship?"

Why don't they just drop it? Lashing out, pissing in other fans' sandboxes, bullying an actor and his family (until his sister made her IG account private) and fans, taking cameos and recycling them out of context... What's their point? They have none. They just are loud and annoying AF.

I know. I said in another post not to share their toxicity, but... With this post, I kindly asked the sane part of this fandom, don't let yourself be bullied into oblivion. Don't let your voice be drowned out, and for heaven's sake, don't let them take away the fun we have by creating all the wonderful fan art, stories, videos etc. and by sharing our thoughts. Yes, we have to deal with them, as they don't go away.

But they are a minority, only awfully loud, as usual. Those people will never establish themselves in any fandom. And they are cowards because they always come in groups. Even if they have to create sock puppets to make it look like they are many. Echo-chambers can get very lonely and very boring.

I LOVE ALL MY FELLOW TEVAN (or multi)shippers to bits. You have great taste and great empathy, and you show what an awesome supporter of the queer community you are!!!

And for the haters:

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

There's something I don't see talked about enough in the SVSSS fandom.

The System.

I just received a comment on one of my fics - which has post-canon SQQ and SQH able to still use social media - suggesting that it would be very easy for people in the real world to point out that these characters using fake accounts to post on real life social media sites would easily be doxxed and the System would have no ability to do anything about that.

Something I have noticed among a lot of people who read this particular book is that not a lot of consideration is given to the very thing orchestrating everything. We often think of the system as a ridiculous guide or rule book that exists solely to give the protagonist what he wants/deserves. We don't really approach it for what it is.

This was my reply to that comment:

Doubt it. The System is able to kidnap people from their worlds and place them in other worlds and bodies in those worlds as punishment. And if you don't do as it wants, to the specification it doesn't directly detail, it can send your soul to an alternate version of the present world to be tortured in another body. I sincerely doubt an abstract, otherworldly being like that, which never receives consequences for anything it does because there is apparently nothing that can canonically challenge it, is going to be threatened by doxxing. If it can create things, link universes together, steal souls, and can be anywhere at any time, I wouldn't expect it to be incapable of manipulating people's perception. I even mentioned how in this fic, it WILL erase SQQ's sister's memories if he chooses to reveal his identity to her, but it becomes too much for her to handle. This suggests it has power anywhere and can do whatever it wants. So, in my mind, if someone actually tried to doxx their accounts, it's either going to lead nowhere, lead to somewhere fake, or the info will be stripped from their lives entirely the moment they find anything/nothing.

It was a very nitpicky kind of comment in my opinion, which warranted this response, but my response just made me realize that the System is effectively an amortal, omnipresent, and omnipotent Entity. It literally doesn't go away. We even think it's over and the Extras tell us, via SQH, that it's still there and still in control.

Think about it.

Think about every single thing that happened because of the System's actions or demands. It literally never faces consequences because there is nothing that could hope to punish it. I've only read 1 fic where higher beings step in to punish the System for kidnapping, coercing, and torturing innocent people for its amusement.

Because that IS something it can do. With ease. And seems all too happy to do.

The System is very dangerous and it's weird how this is something people forget when reading fanfics. SVSSS is the kind of book where crack ideas can work in the frame of the canon story because a character like SQH exists. Because he wrote PIDW with every single plothole and contrived story beat for the sake of money and survival, we can have the weirdest shit happen and blame it on his lack of imagination when writing PIDW. It doesn't need in-depth nitpicking to make it make sense. MXTX gave us a very large and generous sandbox to play in.

You don't need to rationalize a crack plot. And you should always keep in mind that canonically, the System is a terrifying Entity capable of outrageous things. It shouldn't be the deal-breaker that the Entity that kidnaps, gaslights, coerces, tortures, and manipulates people is capable of fantastical feats in a fanfic.

[rqbossman]

Hello Mr Bossman! (and possibly anyone else who reads this)

Its an honour to be here, I have a few questions. First i appologise for the long paragraph, you may dismiss it for the questions at the bottom. For context, i am here after finishing TMA and being up to date with TMAP, i then went over and listened to RQG, and have just finished listening to Epilogue 3 and might i just say, good sir I am grateful for your podcasts. I am currently just a few months away from my final exams of High School, and as someone who even just 1 year ago was very lost, struggling with school and being just overwhelmed. TMA isnt exactly comforting, but the characters and plot managed to serve as a good form of escapism while sorting myself out. I found my self engaging more in creative things that i had originally put aside in favour of maths and science (which i hated but thought i needed to do). I started drawing again, even if just fanart. and i found things going well. By finding podcasts, story telling and these communities have helped me in my own understanding of what i want in life. I got an ADHD diagnosis earlier this year, and almost directly after started RQG and as my first hyperfixation (that i was aware of as an hyperfixation) gosh dang it hit hard. (in a good way). Ive been able to do so much more creative writing and drawings, and got re-involved with a small dnd group with some friends who i played one game with almost 4 years ago now. So overall, inspirational sounds cringe, but it was. Im doing my best with the upcoming exams, but trying to get in to Medicine is not my only prority, and the fact ive been re-introduced to my first love (Literature and story telling), im planning to go do an Arts degree and i know i wouldnt have been able to confidently make this decision, or even have survived this long in the school system without the work you and your coworkers do. Now the sap is out of the way, Question time! (if you could answer even just one of these questions it would be so cool)(they go in order of RQ relevant to random stuff)(dont feel pressured to answer all/any. i know i wrote alot): 1. what would you say is the best way to draft out a long-form story. (with "Erasing the Line" as an example) Did you start at the end, with the links to the overarching plot.

2. When working with the players (in a form of TTRPG), what did you do to make sure you didnt miss relevant timing of plot points/ avoid creating spoilers while still giving enough detail?

3. What are good places to start with making a job out of storytelling/voice acting/audio etc. In the case of RQ, how is this a job and where do i sign up please! /j (what i mean is, how is best way/how did you find all the people involved and was there a common path that you were all on before getting to where you are now?) 4. Do you have recommendations for Terry Pratchett Books, i may be an literary-leaning student, but it seems i have never actually properly read any of his books. so where is best place to start?/What did you read first?

5. Similar authors or similar inspirations? Did you have a favourite podcast you listen to in your free time that you havnt had a hand in producing/directing/working on. 6. Favourite song/album/artist. And more specifically, what you like listening to in background when doing either writing or (for ttrpg) character research/game planing. 7. Since the olympics are on at the moment, what has been your favourite sport to watch, if you have been watching at all. Thank you for your time :)

Thankyou for all the kind words. Knowing our work is helping people really keeps our engines fired up. Let's see if I can't answer your questions: 1. I "sandbox" which is where I just shove everything I can think of into an unorganised bullet point list. Characters, setting, plot, all of it in one big mess. Then I decide what type of story you want to tell, copy and paste to a new document and then start to organise the thoughts (with the sandbox on standby if new stuff comes in I don't know what to do with). I think of it like scultping, you cut away bits and reshape until something comes out the other end that is story shaped. Only then do I attempt to build the sandcastle and put something coherant together like a synopsis or scratch draft etc.

2. Very tricky. I did a complete review and update of all notes after each recording session and don't forget the audio eas edited. I made lots of gaffs that you never heard as audience.

3. I contacted anyone I could convince to take part and just proved I was serious by overworking. I don't reccomend that route. Unfortunately it really is "who" you know. That doesn't mean chase established professionals as much as it means you need to get out there and associate with other up-and-comers who match your vibe. For me the route was long and windy and not a particularly good example. 4. I normally recommend people do not read his books in publication order. Don't get me wrong, its wonderful watching his craft grow from one title to the next but I would recommend new readers tip their toe into his later works to see if they like where he ended up before committing the time. I often recommend 'Monstrous Regiment' as people's first one. My favourite though is 'Thief of Time.'

5. I don't get much time to listen to podcasts in the last couple of years. I used to listen to a lot of non fiction. 'Stuff you Should Know' and that ilk. I also read a fair amount of classic YA fiction to unwind (Windinsger trilogy, Bartimeous, stuff like that.) 6. Paul Simon's Graceland but when working I assemble a playlist for each seperate project that is tonally appropriate. If I really need to focus I listen to Classical Minimalism. Or the Old School Runescape soundtrack. I'm allowed to be ecclectic. 7. I am actually in an incredibly busy work crunch at the moment so haven't seen any of it!

[blakbonnet]

HAPPY FOX DAY TO ALL THOSE WHO CELEBRATE! Today's a special special AOTW because our featured author this week is best beloved @asneakyfox 🦊

Fox, I genuinely think you're one of the greatest fandom philosophers of our times, and what you write is so much more than regular old meta. Because we're all playing in the sandbox here and while a lot of us lose sight of canon sometimes, you have all four feet firmly planted in the lovely source material we've been provided with. And you don't stop there, you try to actively engage with the community, especially making sure you are keeping an eye on all the differing opinions. I feel like this is why your thesis resonates so thoroughly with different people--it's not trying to prove a point, it's very 'holmes saw a dead body and ejaculated'. You are just so smart that you make the rest of us smarter, but it's never intimidating to talk to you, and I love love love that I get to read your stories and your thoughts because of this show and this fandom.

Fox, brilliant as ever, agreed to answer a few questions for me:

What's your meta writing process like? Do you think in disparate strings about scenes and then write them down as they come to you OR is it usually a conversation or a thought that eats at you until you sit down and untangle it?

generally i'll be thinking about something, usually because i saw another post (or had a conversation about the show on discord; special shoutout to the crew on @figmentof and @scarrletmoon's servers, and especially to @glamaphonic, anything i've ever said you thought was really insightful probably came out of a dm conversation with glam) and some part of a post about it will start writing itself in my head, and unfortunately once that process starts the only way to stop it is to write it down.

even more unfortunately i never know whether it's all going to flow out easily into a coherent essay right away, or if it'll be one of those things where i write two really good paragraphs that ought to go in the middle section of a post that takes a while to figure out how to structure; i just have to start and see where it goes. some meta i've written that got lots of notes was written all at once the moment the thought struck me and posted as soon as it was done, but there's also a few that have been sitting in drafts for months as i keep rewriting the same section without being sure where it goes next.

Favourite themes or characterisations you like to explore while meta writing? (things like Ed's fisherman era and what led to it, etc)

i guess if there's a big theme i keep coming back to it's ed's character arc over the course of the show, his relationship with violence and how it affects his perception of himself and how he has to grow through that to be ready to commit to his relationship with stede. one of the very first things i ever said about the show on tumblr, way back in summer 2022, was that ed's absolute deepest fear was that he is fundamentally unlovable, so it was really a delight to see s2 dive so hard into addressing the exact issues i'd been looking at so explicitly. and of course there's also a lot of fandom racism that plays into some takes that go around about ed, and i think it's really important to call that out and push back against those takes.

i feel like it would be kind of silly to not call out izzy here too. izzy plays an absolutely crucial role in highlighting those exact issues in ed's arc, and i honestly just think the way their whole relationship develops in canon is deliciously meaty and a lot of fandom takes seem determined to flatten it out into something much more boring. so it's important to me to try to highlight the ways you don't have to pretend izzy was a secret good guy all along to appreciate the role he plays in the story.

finally i guess this has only developed over the last several months but i guess one of my trademarks now is speculation about what got deleted from s2. i've always been good at the game of watching a movie and guessing at scenes that were cut or changed, and my spider-sense for that was going off like crazy as i watched s2, and i didn't want to get too speculative at first, but as information has actually come out from samba and vico and other sources, a lot of it's lined up with what i thought. and i'm really interested in how the ofmd writers' room approached storybreaking, so it's worth it to me to try to understand this.

Whose head is it easier to get into - Ed or Stede? Why?

i guess i already answered this! i love them both a lot, and i'd been writing meta for a good while before i consciously realized i'd written a LOT more about ed than about stede, and the ed posts tend to be individually longer than the stede ones too. i think some of this is because ed's arc reads super clearly to me while stede, despite being the main character, gets an arc that's a lot more subtle and internal in some ways (and also i do think suffered significantly from the cuts to the second half of s2). and some of it's because people can be Wrong On The Internet about ed in ways i feel the need to push back against more than about stede. but some of it's just, you know, vibe.

it's always interesting to me that nearly all prolific fic authors in this fandom have a clear very strong preference for which POV they prefer - i don't think all fandoms are like that - but i guess my own alignment is obvious.

Your personal favourite thing you've written that you'd like more people to read

the obvious answer here is the one actual fic i have written for this fandom, "Nothing Could Touch It" which came out of thinking about how there's some post-s2 fic about ed reckoning with this relationship with izzy that i really like but none of it quite got at how i feel like canon's framing it. (don't worry it's not all about izzy! stede's there and there's a bunch of cuddling!)

as far as meta goes though i would call out this as the one i'm probably proudest of, this is the one where i most completely tried to lay out how i saw the show framing ed's relationship with violence during the s1 hiatus, and i think after s2 it holds up pretty well. but also since i was just talking about how i don't say enough about stede, this is the post where i tried to lay out the stuff i really admire in stede as a character.

What is the one word that you think you use a lot?

i've got a bunch of verbal tics i overuse but the one i'm self-conscious about in meta lately is "reading against the text," which sounds so pretentious and lit-crit i really wish there were another good phrase for it. but i think it's really useful as a way to clarify that sometimes i'm saying a particular take is clearly not how the narrative of ofmd is framing something but that doesn't mean you need to stop interpreting it that way. reading against the text is really fun and i recommend it sometimes! but you'll have more fun if you're aware that's what you're doing!

If you were writing his arc, keeping in mind that he stays largely antagonistic in line with the show, how would you have resolved the Izzy problem: would you have made the same decisions the writers made and written a redemption by death OR do you think that the spirit of the show specifically demands Izzy get a good guy (or not as bad a guy) ending where we see his muppetification

one of the predictions i was most confident of before s2 was that if izzy were redeemed, he wouldn't be able to remain in the cast as a good-guy crew muppet afterward. (for this reason i thought the likeliest possibility was a slower redemption arc that wouldn't fully complete till the end of s3.) several times i tried to game out what role a fully redeemed izzy could possibly continue to play within this story, or what personality traits that he showed in s1 he could even hang onto after a full redemption, and i couldn't come up with anything that felt plausible. not "loyalty to your captain," because his devotion to blackbeard was clearly toxic at the root and would need to be purged entirely before it could be replaced by anything healthier; not yelling at people to stop having so much fun and work harder, because that could work in a different story but would run directly counter to the core themes of ofmd - so what's left? i went looking at popular izzy redemption fic that tried to address that question, and some of it came up with answers that worked in the context of a fic focused mostly on izzy, but it was never anything that could possibly work in a tv show that already had established themes and would continue to focus primarily on other characters. and izzy wouldn't be able to just fade into the background with the other muppets after all the focus on him a believable redemption arc would require. so i knew once he was redeemed he'd be done as a character one way or another.

and s2 i think bore that out, honestly in a much more obvious way than i expected - over the course of izzy's s2 arc he's basically divested of all his s1 personality traits until all that's really left by the end is saying twat all the time, and Guy Who Says Twat is not a role the story's going to particularly need going forward. to keep him around after that you'd need to give him enough new traits that he'd be for all practical purposes a new character anyway.

i do sometimes wonder about a world where izzy's s2 arc saw him be offered a clear chance at redemption and choose to reject it and get worse instead. i kind of missed antagonist izzy by the end, and i wonder if a lot of people who'd originally wanted a redemption for him wouldn't have been happier with that even if they didn't realize it - a descent into full villainy would have kept izzy and his relationships with both ed and stede more central to the plot right up till the end, and in particular the sexual aspect of his feelings for ed could have stayed very directly relevant, where the redemption arc necessitated resolving that very firmly to clear it out of the way as early as possible in s2. i never agreed that ofmd's themes necessarily meant redemption for izzy was inevitable - ted lasso was much more overtly a show about redemption than ofmd right from the start, and even ted lasso let at least one of its antagonists make it all the way to the end as an unrepentant scumbag. if there's anything that meant izzy really had to be redeemed imo it wasn't the overall spirit of the show so much as izzy's role in ed's arc - before anything else izzy's narrative role was always to be a walking symbol of the part of ed that fears vulnerability and holds him back from committing himself to love, and for ed and stede to be happily together by the end of s2, ed had to get to a place where he could see that part of himself as something he no longer needs in his life but also doesn't hate anymore. nothing could have symbolized that like having ed embrace izzy as he dies granting ed permission to just be himself.

Why OFMD 🥹

you know, i could say a lot here about how i think ofmd is genuinely incredibly well-written in some ways that are really unusual on american tv. season 1 in particular is just incredibly tight and elegantly plotted, and s2 is messier but that just makes it all the more interesting to look at the constraints they were under that led to that. my day job's in narrative and i really do professionally admire ofmd a lot, which is one of the reasons i tend to think about creator intent more than some people do when i'm writing meta - death of the author is a super valid perspective but personally i'm really interested in trying to figure out why the writers made the choices they made and what i can learn from that for when i'm in their position.

so all of that's true. but also we all know it's kind of beside the point here, this is a hyperfixation, it's not rational. i can tell you i watched the first nine episodes of our flag means death and liked it a lot but in what i would describe as a basically normal kind of way, and then i watched the tenth and at some point during that episode a rat inside my brain hit the dopamine spigot with a wrench and now it won't turn off so here we are.

aaaand if you've made it to this point, please join us in evil ganging up on fox with love by sending a lovely letter to them over on @ofmdlovelyletters who was also kind enough to make this header <3

[egelskop]

i am so interested in ur hlvrai au can we get a rundown

oh boy, this is going under a readmore.

fair warning, this is a LONG read because (1.) i am not a competent writer and (2.) i can't for the life of me keep things brief. sorry and or good luck.

ACT I

The Black Mesa incident: Gordon Freeman is provided an opportunity to do an informal beta test for a combat training simulation program that's in development in the Research & Development department of the Black Mesa Research Facility. (Read: He knows a guy in R&D and said guy knows Gordon likes video games and VR stuff, so he was like "hey you should come check this out when you're on break.")

The combat sim would be a revolutionary training simulation using artificial intelligence to enhance and realize the experience for the ‘player character’.

The test goes wrong, and Gordon can’t seem to disengage from the simulation and odd, unscripted things start happening; he has to ‘play the game’ to its full completion before he is able to exit the simulation safely. He has suffered a brain injury throughout the process, eye damage due to prolonged exposure to the headset and is generally traumatized by the simulation experience he at some point could no longer physically and emotionally distinguish from the real world. The project as a whole is shut down and Gordon is put into a rehabilitation program. Black Mesa covers up the incident as best it can, but whispers of it still echo around the facility.

Below is a page for a two-page comic i never finished detailing said events.

ACT II

The rumors reach the ears of a particularly tech-savvy researcher named Clark, who steals the project documentation and anything else he can get his hands on from a storage. At home, he looks into the project, reads about it, and gets curious about the simulation’s files themselves. They’re on a drive he plugs into his computer, and suddenly his system’s performance lags, windows open and close until a txt. file opens up. He comes into contact with one of the simulation’s AI that has somehow entered his operating system. He tries to keep it busy by having it poke around as he reads up on the simulation and its ultimate shutdown. When the AI reveals it can see him through the webcam, he panics and rips the drive out of the port. The invasive AI and the other project files seems like they’re gone from his system, he does a checkup but sees nothing odd running or otherwise. The next day after work he does another checkup. Finding nothing, he surmises he’s in the clear and starts up an online game. The slumbering, corrupted data of the AI sees its out, and disappears into the game.

ACT III

The transition/journey to the game is a rocky one, and the already corrupted data of the AI known as Benrey splits and gets even more fragmented. The largest fragment embeds itself into the game’s files to keep itself running. Without the foundation of the game to support it, it’d be lost to a dead void and slowly die out. Somewhat stable, it learns about the world around it; the game seems to be an exploration sandbox game. For now (and clarity), I’ve chosen to call this bigger, embedded fragment ‘Data’. (so this is the big benny with the right eye/one big eye in my art)

Data splits off a smaller fragment of itself, intending it to be an avatar or ‘player character’ but this grows into its own awareness and becomes who we’ll call ‘Beastrey’ (the smaller benny with the left eye and tail in my art).

The fragment ‘Beastrey’ wakes to a dead void, so Data uses its knowledge to create a private server for Beastrey, an empty world. Beastrey’s existence is an extension of the bigger part, with more freedom of movement to parse through the game and move freely within it, with the caveat that it can’t go ‘too far’ away from the host. Beastrey can visit other servers and relay information. Data learns and slowly starts building up the world/private server, at some point settling for an aquatic world because it reminds it of itself (something something sea of data). It's important to note that Beastrey retains little to no memories of the events of canon VRAI.

Data makes it easier for Beastrey to move around, and they grow to have more reach with time. At some point Data can alter the basic structural elements of the game, so it plays around with making things that are reminiscent of the memories it has of Black Mesa and Xen. At one point, it gains access to parse through the player base of the game, and takes note of an email address: ‘g.m.freeman@gmail.com’, attached to a player account. The name is somewhat familiar to it.

It sends an invite to join the server to the player account.

ACT IV

Gordon tries going back to work at Black Mesa after rehabilitating, but he has trouble separating his experiences with the simulation from reality, to a breaking point where an altercation with a security guard drives him to quit. He seeks professional help for his PTSD and anxiety, but still experiences dissociative episodes, migraines and somatic flashbacks localised mostly in his right forearm. Despite this, he is determined to continue living his life as normally as possible. He applies for a part-time job teaching physics at a local high school, the one where his son Joshua goes to, and remains relatively stable from there.

Joshua is 15 years old. Regular teen. After an impressive amount of pleading he got a VR-headset for his 14th birthday from Gordon (much to the disapproval of Gordon’s ex), and he’s been captivated by an exploration sandbox game since it came out a few months ago.

He gets an invite to an unnamed private server, and he accepts.

He is struck with awe as the world he enters seems completely different from the ones he’s seen so far in the game. Different flora, different fauna. Most of it uninteractible, though, or otherwise just retextured from its base game variant. Even the new enemy types, after a scare, can’t actually hurt him, it seems. He stumbles upon Beastrey, who is just as surprised to see him and wants him out until Joshua says he was invited.

Joshua commends Beastrey (who introduces himself as 'Ben-') on ‘modding’ everything in, but admits that he was disappointed to find that everything was just surface-level stuff. Beastrey inquires about what he’d like to see. Data is always watching, unseen, and decides to alter the world in the way Joshua described when Joshua leaves.

Joshua starts appearing more often, if only for a few hours at a time. He marvels at the ways the world shifts and grows with each time he plays, and takes to exploring it with Beastrey at his side, for whom strangely enough a lot of things are also new. Joshua teaches both Beastrey and Data about the outside world, thinking Beastrey is just a somewhat reclusive but likeable weirdo.

Joshua tells Gordon about the new friend he made, ‘Ben’, and the adventures he’s been having with the other. Gordon is happy to hear Joshua is having a good time, but is otherwise none the wiser. Joshua starts losing track of time in the game, but chalks it up to being invested.

During one play session, Beastrey confesses he isn’t the one who did all the ‘modding’, and invites Joshua to meet Data. Data, or at least its ‘physical’ in-game manifestation is deep within the world, past the aquatic twilight zone and strange, drowned ruins of an unknown facility. Data, for the first time, really sees Joshua, and the resemblance sparks something within it. Joshua is drawn closer to it, and just before he reaches it-

Joshua wakes up lying on the floor with Gordon hunched over him in his room, pleading with him to wake up. Joshua unknowingly got drawn into the game much like Gordon had been, and Gordon urges Joshua to never touch the headset again, taking it away. Gordon opens up about his experiences with the simulation a bit more. They both agree to not touch the game or the headset again.

ACT V

Gordon comes into contact with an old coworker from Black Mesa, and he inquires about the combat simulation project, if anything happened to it after it was canned. This is where he learns that an employee had taken the project files from storage and was consequently fired. He comes into contact with Clark, and Clark explains he had no idea he accidentally unleashed the AI unto the game. Gordon asks if anything can be done to prevent what happened to Joshua and himself from happening to other people. Clark confesses he doesn’t know, and that it’s up to the developers of the game to find anything out of place and make sure it gets fixed. Gordon decides to leave the matter where it lies, not wanting anything to do with AI and simulations anymore and to safeguard his son.

Some time passes.

Joshua starts getting repeated invites and messages, at one point he gets into a conversation with ‘Ben’ via a platform’s messaging system. Ben says he can explain everything, that he’s sorry. Joshua decides he would like one final goodbye. He finds the headset stashed away somewhere in the house, and, while Gordon’s gone, he turns on the game and enters the server.

Beastrey (Ben) is surprised to see him, urging him to log out and turn off the game, but it’s already too late and Joshua can no longer leave. Beastrey helps Joshua attempting to ‘exit’ the game by going as far away from Data’s reach, but Data stops Beastrey and traps Joshua, determined to wait to the point that he assimilates into the game completely.

Gordon eventually finds Joshua comatose with the headset on, and he panics. He considers calling the emergency services, but he’s afraid they’ll take the headset off or that removing Joshua too far from the game will hurt his son like what happened to him. He calls Clark, urging him to help in any way he can. This results in Gordon and Clark going back to Black Mesa to retrieve the project files and the other gear they can get their hands on to get Gordon into the game to free his son.

Gordon enters the private server with Clark’s player character, and thwarts any attempt from Data to impede his progress and trap him as well. Beastrey’s awareness is overridden by Data as a last ditch effort to deter Gordon and Gordon is forced to destroy Beastrey before he can reach Data. As Beastrey is taken over, Data gains Beastrey’s awareness, and finds his other, littler half never wanted to trap Joshua in the first place, and the way it hurt him to hurt both Joshua and Gordon to this extent.

At this point, Data wavers in its intention to keep Joshua trapped, even more so with Beastrey now gone, and recognises whatever it is that is driving Gordon forward in the game is outside of his control to manipulate, so he lets Gordon destroy it as well. In a way, it also feels as a fulfillment of its intended role as the ‘villain’. The server crashes, the world breaks apart. The ‘game’ is completed.

The final boss is defeated and both Gordon and Joshua wake up. Joshua luckily wasn’t exposed long enough to have suffered any lasting damage, except for what seems to be a minor headache and some light sensitivity (and a vow from Gordon to get him checked out by a doctor as soon as the clinics open).

--

The whole ordeal results in Clark, Gordon and Joshua sitting in a Denny’s at four in the morning, eating pancakes somewhat solemnly, completely exhausted but also still reeling from the virtual battle. Joshua learns that ‘Ben’ essentially died, and he can’t help but cry for his friend.

“Honestly, I don’t think he’s gone,” Gordon admits, picking at the last bites of his pancakes. "I think he- or whatever that was, has a hard time staying dead. Like a cockroach, you know? At this point I’m just wondering when he’ll turn up again.”

Clark hums in agreement. Joshua seems somewhat reassured by his words, wiping at his eyes with the scratchy napkin as he settles into the squeaking diner seat.

“But,” he starts with a sigh, pointing his syrup-covered fork upwards to the ceiling in a decree, “One thing’s for certain…”

He thinks back to a time rife with virtual gunfire, caging walls and hysterical laughter echoing through the halls of the Black Mesa research facility. Five sets of footsteps and a whisper of his name.

“…No more VR. No more headsets. Ever.”

--

TL;DR: Gordon got trapped in VR and then Joshua also got trapped in VR. Benrey is there but also not.

thank you for reading. here. ( x ‿ o ) 🫴

[jannaphia]

Ruby/Kaisa Writing Masterpost

Right, okay, wasn't sure if I should post these, but its pride month and I think I deserve a treat after sipping denial juice for like 15 years.

I actually wanted to flesh out some things that happened in their past, but I had so much fun I ended up with like 12 little snippets that I'm just going to throw on here over the next month.

A little background: these two are side characters from my group's DnD campaign, that I have latched onto like a barnacle to a boat (Kaisa was actually my first PC ever, I brought her back as a gimmick & our dm played along, so that didn’t exactly help with getting less attached).

*DISCLAIMER* - the campaign we play is 100% organic homebrew and we treat the world of DnD like a toddler treats a sandbox - with enough respect not to eat the sand but otherwise it's a free-for-all.

Snippets under the cut!

☼・12/12・☼

----------------------------

☼・1・☼

“They fucked both of us over, didn’t they?” Kaisa tightened the grip on her sword, while the rough wall dug into her back even through the scale mail.

The woman beside her nodded earnestly.

“You could say that.”

Kaisa shot her another glance. Heart-shaped face, grey-purple skin, red eyes, pointed ears. Drow, half-blood, most likely, with those ridiculous white strands of hair that framed her face. She was panting slightly from the exertion of running for cover. And probably the fight before. And the knife wound in her shoulder. Goddamn wizards. She should have aimed better. At least then they wouldn’t be squeezed together in this tiny alcove, hiding from the villagers. Or what was left of them, anyway.

“Sorry I almost burned your face off”, the wizard said sheepishly.

Kaisa grunted, in part to hide her surprise. An apology was the last thing she’d expected.

“My fault I even gave you the chance.”

“I’ve never had anyone dodge my spells like that. You’re used to fighting casters, aren’t you?”

“I kill them, usually.”

“Oh.” To her credit, she didn’t cringe away. “Like…all of them?”

“Are you dead, little mage?”

She frowned. “Not for a lack of trying on your part.”

“But are you dead?”

“No, I guess not.”

“Then there’s your answer.”

“Is it a work-for-hire thing, then? Or is it...recreational?”

“Listen-“

“Ruby.”

“-Ruby, I don’t know why or how you got here, but you’re not what I came here for. So just stay out of my way and we won’t have any…further problems.”

“Fine. Are you sure you don’t need my help with that collapsed entrance, though?”

Damn. She’d forgotten all about that already. A triumphant little smile had appeared on the wizard’s insultingly pretty face and Kaisa felt like cursing again.

“I mean, I’m sure you’re strong enough to lift these boulders on your own, but fighting off a horde of undead at the same time might prove just a little difficult,” Ruby said with a small shrug. She winced and touched a hand to her shoulder. “Ouch.”

“And you think you’ll be of much help like that?”

“Probably not. I forgive you for throwing that dagger at me, by the way,” she said nonchalantly. “But since it looks like neither of us can leave on their own, we can either agree on a truce or we might as well stay here.”

There were few things that seemed less appealing than being stuck in a decrepit funeral temple with a wizard who liked to talk and smelled of peonies.

“Not a chance.” Kaisa fished a healing potion from a satchel at her belt and pressed it into Ruby’s hand. “Drink. Truce it is. Try anything, and I will stab you again.”

Ruby sniffed at the potion, downed it in one swig, and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. There was a glint in her eyes, a purple glow lighting up the red of her irises. Shit, Kaisa thought. She looked like an innocent doll all groomed and polished as if she was made to be dressed up in lace and ribbons and put on a shelf behind glass. It made it so easy to forget she’d almost blown Kaisa to smithereens. Made it even easier to forget that that was probably her intention.

“Don’t tempt me,” Ruby said and squeezed past her. “I might just get a taste for it.”

☼・2・☼

“Wait!”

Kaisa stopped and half-turned.

“What?”

A part of her wished Ruby hadn’t saved her life at the centre of the temple. There were few things worse than being indebted to a wizard. She’d want something in return; of course she would. A quick end would have been preferable. Maybe then she’d finally find some peace.

“Come work for me. I could use some help on the ship.”

There it is.

“I don’t work for mages”, Kaisa said crisply. “I’ll do what I owe, but no more. Better get this over with anyway. What do you want?”

Ruby furrowed her brow, confused.

“What?”

“The life-debt. What do you want for it?”

“Life-debt? If I saved yours, you saved mine like a dozen times.” “I just pushed you out of the way.”

“Exactly. And anyway, I didn’t help you to get something out of it,” she said, indignant.

“Sounds like you do want something, though.”

“Right. Maybe I do. But not because of some debt you may or may not owe.”

Kaisa narrowed her eyes at Ruby. Was this some kind of game she was playing? No. As far as wizards went, Kaisa had to admit that Ruby seemed to be one of the more upstanding ones. But she was still a wizard. Which made admitting that she’d started earning her respect just a little inconvenient.

“I know you’re looking for that sword. I can help you get off world,” Ruby added.

Kaisa knew it was a hook, saw it coming right at her, and felt it dig right into her heart. It didn’t change anything. That was a damn good argument. Even a risk worth taking.

“And what’s in it for you?”

“Someone to watch my back.”

“And your first pick is someone whose job it is to murder people like you for a living?”

“I’m sure that’s not the only type of people you know how to murder”, Ruby said with a wry smile, and Kaisa snorted. “Not that I want you to murder anyone. But I do want to see more of what’s out there, different worlds, different planes. I think I didn’t realise how dangerous it was to go alone, and I don’t want to return home just yet. We made a pretty good team back then. I want someone by my side who won’t flinch when things get rocky.”

“Hm.”

Kaisa put a hand under Ruby’s chin and tipped up her face. She held her gaze without blinking. And what she saw was someone who had nothing to hide. Someone who carried her intentions like an open book before her.

“You have guts, little mage. I like that”, she said softly.

There was colour to Ruby’s cheeks when Kaisa let go of her. She tugged at her hair.

“I’ll pay you, of course,” she said.

“Finding the sword is payment enough.”

“No, I want you to know that I keep my word.” She cast her eyes down. “I know you don’t trust me, and you don’t have to. Not yet, anyway. But maybe we can start with…begrudging acceptance?”

Kaisa shook her head, a smile tugging at her lips.

“That… I might just manage.”

☼・3・☼

“Oh, fucking shit.” Kaisa skidded along the railing, the ship tilting precariously, the planks groaning. The mast was about to break, listing heavily to one side, the sails a tangled mess of rope and canvas. She jumped back on deck, vaulted over a crate that had gotten loose, hooked her feet into the guardrail, reached over; and managed to grab Ruby’s hand just as the netting snapped, that had kept her unconscious body from tumbling into the wide abyss of open space. With a shudder, the ship righted herself, and Kaisa hauled Ruby back to safety. Blood was dripping from a wound on her temple, ran over her cheek and dropped on Kaisa’s arm. Goddamn, reckless wizard.

She shook her a little.

“Ruby. Wake up.” Her eyelids fluttered. “Come on, little mage.”

“I told you not to call me that”, she mumbled, and sucked in a hissing breath. “Ow, that hurts.”

“And I told you to stay inside. But no. Someone had to go see these damn beasts for herself, didn’t she.”

“Nebula Eels,” Ruby said with a faint smile. “Very pretty.”

“Very deadly.”

“You needed help.”

“I can handle myself. But if you die, I’ll be stuck stranded in the aether, and that’s one shitty way to go. So please be a dear, and don’t do that.”

Ruby cracked her eyes open. “Aw, you’re worried about me.”

“I worry about both of us not getting killed.”

“Mhm.”

The mast made a cracking sound, which reminded Kaisa that they had a few other problems to address, rather than standing on deck bickering, Ruby in her arms like a bride on her wedding day.

“Can I put you down?”

Ruby sighed.

“Please don’t. I mean do. Yes. Sorry. My head.”

“Sure.”

Gently, she set Ruby on her feet and watched her sway towards the battered mast. Her, worrying about a wizard? Ridiculous. She should have carried her into the cabin, though. That wound looked nasty, not something to be walking around with. Ruby stumbled. And Kaisa only just managed to catch her fall.

☼・4・☼

[very mild spicy 🌶️ ] [🎵]

Clink. Clink. ——Clink.

Ruby crumbled the piece of paper in her hand. The noise wouldn’t stop.

“Can you please not do that while I’m doing my calculations?”

Kaisa didn’t even slow down as she answered, her sword slicing the air in perfect, glittering arcs. “We agreed I do my exercises in the morning. Go inside if it bothers you.”

“I can’t calculate anything if I can’t see the stars. Besides, it is not morning!”

“Maybe you should get glasses and look at the damn clock.” She whirled around, the blade lightly gracing the deck as she pivoted and finally came to a halt.

“Maybe you should stop scratching up my ship,” Ruby said, frustrated, and pointed at the chronometer above the cabin door. “And look at the time.”

“It’s nine.”

“Nine in the evening.”

“How the fuck am I supposed to know what it is when it’s always dark out here”, Kaisa said, gesturing at the whirling nebulas above and around the ship.

“I don’t know; you could see me going on deck, lay out my charts and think to yourself ‘hmm Ruby is trying to work so we don’t crash into some moon or asteroids or a sky whale; that must mean it is evening so maybe I should stop being an inconsiderate meathead and put my toy swords away for just an hour or two’.”

“Toy swords?”

Ruby swallowed. Definitely the wrong thing to say to someone holding about 34 inches of blank steel and towering above her by at least a head. But she wasn’t about to back down either. The air had grown thick with tension between them, their fragile truce evolved into something different altogether. It’d been a long stretch between Seucury and their next destination, Ilror, with nothing but each other for company, and both had gotten increasingly irritable and restless. Didn’t help that for some reason, she really, really liked it when Kaisa looked at her like she was about to put a dagger to her throat again. There was a sort of thrill to it, like casting the Walk On Water spell and watching the sharks below your feet. She wouldn’t get hurt, but just the thought of danger made her mouth run dry. At home waited only responsibility, decorum and routine. And Kaisa was none of that. 

Ruby breathed in deep as she came closer, the table digging into her back. Her eyes travelled over Kaisa’s arms, the tattoos on them that looked like someone had carved them with a blunt knife. Ruby had to crane her neck to look up at her, the lamplight reflecting in her dark red eyes, making them glow like burning embers. She’d only needed to…

Kaisa reached around her to grab the astrolabe lying on the table.

“If anyone’s playing with toys, it’s you. What even is this thing?”

“A star chart”, Ruby said, although she could barely speak. “Put it back.”

“Huh”, Kaisa said, activating the small illusion inside and squinting at it. “Look at that. We’re off by a few degrees.”

“How would you know?”

“Yes, how would I with all that meat in my head?”

Ruby made a sound between a huff and a growl and reached for the astrolabe. “Let me see.”

Kaisa pulled it out of her reach. “Come and get it.”

She was an archmage of Dakar, a respectable member of the Dakarian university, a noble from a house with a long reputation, and games like these were beneath her. Under any other circumstance.

“You fiend”, Ruby snarled and lunged at Kaisa, who laughed and twisted away, taking Ruby with her. They swayed over the deck, half wrestling, half losing balance, tumbled over a coil of rope, fell, and Ruby found herself pinned beneath Kaisa, the astrolabe rolling from her hand. She could hear her own breath in her ears, felt something unravel in her chest like a spring, a want she’d tried to talk herself into not feeling. What would my mother say? What would my colleagues say? What would the nobles say? What would Kaisa say?

“Ruby, Ruby, Ruby.”

Ruby pulled her face down and kissed her. Hungry, starving. Felt her hands run over her arms, her back, every touch a small lightning strike, every kiss the answer to a question she’d never known she’d had. The only thing left of her was breath and fire, she weaved her hands into Kaisa’s braid as her lips travelled down her neck, one hand beneath her shirt; and the sound she made when Ruby ran her fingers along the membrane of her long ears might have sent Ruby to Elysium right then and there. She’d no idea how long they’d been lying there entangled, might have been a minute, might have been an hour, might have been an eternity. Not long enough by Dakarian standards. Too long, by Ruby’s.

“Cabin,” Ruby gasped. “Now.”

“Why? Is anyone else on this ship?” Kaisa whispered against her ear.

Oh, this was depravity. Absolutely unthinkable. The most wonderful, brilliant thing. Ruby lifted her eyes to watch the stars wheel above them, the endless dark expanse, the blue and purple nebulas, fractals, pattern, beauty she thought she’d gotten used to. But there would be no getting used to this.

☼・5・☼

[ 🎵]

“This one is my favourite”, Ruby said, trailing a finger over Kaisa’s back. She could feel the residue of old magic beneath her fingertips. These weren’t simple tattoos. But what purpose they might have had, she couldn’t tell.

“Hm. What does it look like?”

“You don’t know?”

“Don’t think I ever cared to find out what they did to my back.”

“They?” A few times Ruby had tried to uncover the reason behind Kaisa’s aversion, or rather borderline obsessive hatred, towards wizards. She’d only ever gotten pieces of an answer, had never guessed that the tattoos were a part of it.

Kaisa didn’t reply.

“It looks like a sun,” she said softly. “I think it’s beautiful.”

“You wouldn’t say that if you knew…”, Kaisa trailed off and turned around. “Have you ever had your will taken from you?”

Ruby shook her head, taken just a little off guard. “Only in training. As an exercise.”

“Well, there was no training in Arathflor. Not for that sort of thing, anyway.”

“Your home?”

“No. That’s where the fighting pits were. Lawless place. They throw you into a cell with a bunch of other poor bastards, tell you they’re on your team, watch you befriend them and then force you to kill them in front of an audience, all the while you fight for control over your own fucking body.”

“Why would anyone do that?”, Ruby asked, unable to keep the horror from her voice.

“Money, power and sadism, mostly.”

She sounded like she was talking about the weather, but Ruby did not for one second believe she actually felt this calm.

“How did you get out?”

“A friend…he damaged the spell’s anchor. Wasn’t more than a little coin. Almost killed me. Kind of wish he had. It was the last fight of the season. Never found out if it was an accident, or if he knew. Never got to ask him.” She stared at her hands, as if there was still blood on them.

“I’m so sorry,” Ruby said and swept a strand of hair from Kaisa’s face. There was no word in any language she knew to take that kind of hurt away. “I’ll never let anyone do that to you ever again. I swear.”

Kaisa pressed a kiss to her palm. “Neither will I,” she whispered, gathering Ruby into her arms. There was something else in her voice when she spoke again; old hurt, hope, an edge like a shattered blade. “Gods help me, I don’t know how, but I trust you. Please don’t break it.”

Ruby fiercely shook her head.

“Never, never, never.”

☼・6・☼

Ruby woke to the last rays of the evening sun shining through the blinds of her room. Returning to Dakaris was always an exercise in re-adapting. This time even more so. She kept her eyes closed and waited for Kaisa to kiss her brow and say ‘good morning, gem’, but when she reached out her arms, the bed beside her was empty. Right. Kaisa was at the barracks. Easier this way, they’d decided. No inconvenient questions. No worries about anyone questioning her status or mental capacities. They might have looked past her being a woman, but not that she was an uncultured barbarian to Dakarian society. No match for an archmage. No match for a family already in a precarious situation. They couldn’t see what Ruby saw. Kaisa was no scholar, but her knowledge of the arcane and those who wielded it was extensive and unconventional. Ruby had no doubt she could hold her own against some of the professors at the university. Especially when it came to putting them through a wall, just to prove a point. Which was the second, and biggest the biggerissue. Kaisa might trust her, but that trust certainly did not extend to the wizards at the university, and Ruby refused to put her into a situation that might hurt her in one way or another. So they’d agreed to separate for the time being. Which meant, no ship ration breakfast in bed, no one to hold her when she couldn’t sleep and no one to tell her to ‘fuck the old crones at the university with their shitty little magic books and trinkets’. So by the time she’d swung her legs over the edge of the bed, her night was already ruined.

☼・7・☼

Kaisa walked back to the barracks with the first morning light at her back, tracing the new leather tie around her arm with a smile. When Ruby first suggested she’d stay with the soldiers, she’d been sceptical, to put it mildly. It had been one of their nastier arguments. But the Dakarian military had turned out to be quite the opposite of the stiff city guard stationed on the upper levels of Dakar. With little threat from other nations, the main function of the army was to keep the city safe from the creatures that roamed the desert. Giant chitinous, alligator-like beasts that hid under the sand, centipedes as long as a man’s leg that collapsed tunnels the drows had dug into the rocks below, or hordes of desert corpses that hunted travellers on the few accessible trading routes between the cities. That meant that the soldiers stayed mostly topside, on the fringes of Dakarian society, and Kaisa had found herself amidst a bunch of hardened, disarmingly forward and hearty fighters, who had first roped her into a drinking contest, then an arm wrestling contest and then a boxing match. The sense of honest camaraderie had soothed her initial anger. Even Ruby’s father, the acting general of the Dakarian forces, had welcomed her with open arms. Basilides seemed to be a generally fair and respectable sort of person, who was on good terms with almost everyone in camp. Last night, he’d granted leave to Osha, Tux and Kiril so they could take her out hunting. The hide of her prey’s soft underbelly now decorated Kaisa’s arm. It had been a good hunt. A good night. No, all things considered, things could be much worse.

☼・8・☼

“This is getting ridiculous.” Ruby wanted to groan, or scream, or possibly do both at the same time. Schooling her expression into a detached, pleasant mask was getting gradually harder as the night wore on.

“Master Dalael has appealed the notion twice, he requests a formal inquiry and a re-examination of how the funds will be diverted,” her secretary said, pushing up his glasses.

That smarmy bast-

“He argues that your absence warrants a revision of the schooling program for children from the Dens. ‘Things are constantly changing and need perpetual revision’, is what he said, if I recall.”

What would Kaisa do?, Ruby mused and twirled her pen between her fingers. Hold him over a crevasse by his ankles and shake him until he agreed to see reason, probably. The thought had some appeal.

“Tell Master Dalael I’ll be at the meet and that I will be available for a re-evaluation.”

“Of course. Then there’s the Society of Extra-Planar Arcane Arts. They have requested your presence for a demonstration of a communication device.”

A device that doesn’t work and likely will never work.

“I’ll be there after the meet.”

“Very well. Lastly, Professor Lylok wishes to inquire about the state of the final exams. He is growing…impatient.”

“I’m working on them. He may discuss them with me before first light tonight. Is that all?”

“For tonight, yes. I will arrange everything and update your calendar.”

“Thank you.”

Thalel nodded. When the door had clicked shut behind him, Ruby buried her head in her hands. Dalael, the SEPAA and then Lylok. The nobles fighting as always, the people in the Dens suffering. Nothing had changed. The city was still a pit of vipers, impervious to change, the festering darkness hidden by a shiny veneer of gems and starlight. She’d only been home for two weeks, and all things considered, things couldn’t be much worse.

☼・9・☼

“Oi! Reed! How did it go yesterday?”

Reed stomped past, sending an unmistakable gesture towards Kiril, who slapped his thigh, laughing.

“She’s been trying to get into Mel’s bed for like a decade now”, Osha explained and handed Kaisa a cup of ale. “It’s not going well. He’s the righteous sort, you know.”

“Poor thing”, Kaisa said.

“You got anyone at home?”

“Home?”

“You know, that world of gorgeous, tall and muscular warriors you so obviously come from.”

“Oh. Yeah. I got someone.” The fact that someone was actually on Dakar didn’t exactly change her situation. She might as well have been off-world.

“Must be hard being so far away.”

“We’re taking a break,” Kaisa said, staring into her cup. She missed Ruby with a force she didn’t even want to admit to herself. She’d rather thought the feelings would go away once they stopped being constantly in each other’s face, stuck on a tiny ship. But to her dismay it seemed quite the opposite was true. Either way, if she’d learned anything on her travels, it was to not get overly attached. To take it one day at a time. Or on Dakar, rather, one night at a time. They’d leave again eventually.

“Osha, shut up already.” Tux nudged her with an elbow and Osha shrugged apologetically.

“It’s fine”, Kaisa sighed and downed her cup. “She says her parents won’t approve. Don’t want to get her into trouble.”

Osha grimaced.

“Ouch. Yeah. Been there.” She put an arm around Kaisa’s shoulder, clinking her cup to hers. “Well, if you ever want a fresh start and that archmage won’t bring you back, we’ll gladly keep you.”

☼・10・☼

Ruby sank into the plush chair, the cushions almost swallowing her. She kind of wished they did.

“Denied”, she said tonelessly. “I’ve got a week to appeal the appeal of the appeal, no support, no time and no leverage. Who even came up with a system like that?”

“And what are you going to do about it?”

“What am I going to do about what? I can conjure a whole damn fire elemental from nothing, but I cannot conjure up a bloody conscience for Dalael and his ilk.”

“Rubinia!” Damariel pursed her lips. “That is unbecoming of someone your station. You have clearly been away for too long. And the company you’ve kept!”

“Mother, please.” Ruby plucked at the fringes of an exceptionally frilly cushion. “I did not mind the company. And since we’re on the topic, she deserves better accommodations.“

Damariel clicked her tongue. 

“Be that as it may, I believe that you have more pressing matters to attend to. Have you entered some sort of contract with the mercenary?”

“No, nothing like that.” She wanted to tell her mother not to speak about Kaisa as if she were just some muscle for hire. That she would give her right hand to make sure she was safe. And if she pretended hard enough, keeping her mouth shut about the true nature of their relationship was the only way to shield her from Dakarian politics. So Ruby did just that.

“Then I cannot fathom what you’re fretting about. Your father says Lady Brightwind has taken well to life at the barracks. I’m sure that will put your mind at ease?”

Ruby rubbed her eyes. She’d never been more tired in her life.

“I’m glad.”

Damariel set her cup down and put a hand on her daughter’s knee. “Dear, you look tried. Stay for the day. And surely tonight you will see things more clearly. There are more important things to focus on than appeasing mercenaries and your little social projects. Although I would not mind seeing you go toe to toe with Master Dalael. It would strengthen your position.”

Ruby was too exhausted to protest, so she simply nodded.

☼・11・☼

Kaisa’s room was at the back of the barracks; a word from his daughter had seen the general grant her a small private space apart from the other soldiers. A luxury, but isolating. She climbed up a flight of stairs that was fixed to the outside of the building. Light would come soon, and the air was already getting hotter. She’d half a mind to grab her swords and head to the little oasis instead when she noticed the door standing open. An orange glow came from inside, whoever it was, they did not try to hide. It mattered little. Kaisa grabbed her dagger, crept towards the door, a spell ready on her lips, and hesitated.

Peonies.

She allowed herself a little smile, willed the space between her and the room to let her pass through, stepped forward and out of the air behind a familiar figure standing by the window. Carefully, soft as a kiss, she put the blade to her throat.

“Gotcha”, she whispered.

But to her disappointment, Ruby barely reacted. She simply pushed the dagger away with a finger and turned, her presence hitting Kaisa like a wave. Like water in the desert. Like something that had only grown sweeter in its absence. This could have been the best morning in a month if Ruby hadn’t looked a right mess. As if she hadn’t slept in weeks. Judging from the red rims of her eyes, she’d been crying too. And Ruby never cried. 

“What happened?”, Kaisa asked, her voice dark, ready to break someone’s neck.

Ruby just shrugged a little.

“You look like you’ve been having fun”, she said instead of an answer, and it sounded almost like an accusation.

Kaisa forced the dagger back into its sheath with a loud click.

“I’m making the best of things. As you suggested,” she bit back.

“Well, I didn’t expect you to be-“

“-Not miserable? What the fuck do you want me to be? Wasn’t my choice to get dropped off here with barely a word of goodbye. So don’t tell me how I’m supposed to feel about it.”

By the time she’d finished the sentence, Ruby was crying again. Ah fuck, was it hard to see her like that. But she’d a point to make, too.

“I’m sorry,” Ruby sniffed after a long pause. “I should have never left you like that. I was so worried about everyone's opinions, I thought if I played my cards right, I could actually do some good this time, but it’s all just the same and nothing I do really matters, I could do everything perfectly right and they still won’t listen and-“

“Woha, slow down”, Kaisa said, calm as she could manage. She should be fuming mad right now. Barely a word for a month, no visits, no messages, just a handful of cold letters, only for her to come back crying when things grew over her head. But unfortunately, this was Ruby. And she simply could not stand to see her hurt. “Just tell me what’s going on.”

“I don’t think I can do this.” Ruby wiped at her eyes, but the tears just kept coming. “I’m not cut out to be an archmage. The others barely respect me enough not to insult me to my face. My mother has all the empathy of a bowl of sand, and father is never home long enough to talk to. I’m alone, and I’m miserable, I’ve made the worst mistake I could have possibly made, I pushed away the only one who actually cared, just to gain the approval of cut-throats and liars, and I’m so so sorry, I should never have-“

“Ruby-“

“I miss you! I miss you so much. And I don’t-“

Kaisa pulled her into her arms before Ruby could choke on her own tongue, rested her chin on top of her head. Just let her sob for a moment. She fit perfectly against her, like a puzzle piece, and in that moment she knew she never wanted to hold anyone else ever again. What was a month to an elf anyway? Nothing more than the blink of an eye.

“I’ve missed you, too,” she said, gently rocking them both back and forth. “You have no idea.”

Ruby held on as if she were drowning.

“Will you come home with me?”

Trading the barracks for the inner city? The university? The laughter and levity for hostile stares? Not very appealing. But she’d have Ruby back. That was all that mattered. And Kaisa had never cared about pissing off a few wizards anyway.

“Of course, gem. I’ll pack my things.”

☼・12・☼

Ruby smiled and took a deep breath, the air filled with the smell of the sea, the wind gently tugging at her hair, the sun in her face. The Scarlet Harlot glided through the waves like a fish, as easily as she’d navigated the aether above. Her heart was light and the road ahead wide open. What wonder to exist with nothing but blue all around and the sails snapping happily in the wind. She adjusted her sun-lenses, watched Kaisa stroll on deck, leant against the guardrail and beckoned her closer.

“Hello, my darling sunshine”, she said and wrapped her arms around her waist, but for some reason Kaisa only smiled against her lips when she went for a kiss.

“What is it?”

“You lost”, she said, took Ruby’s chin and pointed her face towards Coy, who sat on a crate, hidden in the shadow of the mast, an open-mouthed expression of disbelief on her face.

“Oh. Oh no.”

“I think you owe me ten gold, my love.”

“You dogs. You absolute dogs!” Coy jumped up, the string of her violin snapping. “I knew it! I fucking knew it.”

“And I knew you’d slip up first”, Kaisa said, and planted a kiss on her cheek before heading for the ship’s wheel.

“That’s not fair, you’re the one with all the names!”, Ruby called after her. “The one time I…I didn’t even know she was there! And you know I can’t see well in the sun! …What?”

There was a wide grin on Coy’s face.

“My darling sunshine. That’s disgusting. Oh, mother will be furious. I’m so proud.”

Ruby sighed. She’d never hear the end of this.

“She knows already.”

“And?”

“Well, you know how she is.”

“Oh, do I know.” Coy sat down again and fixed her violin. “You fooled me long enough, I’ll give you that. But on another note, you should really give the gold to me.”

“And why would I do that?”

“Compensation for all the emotional damage you two are going to inflict on me.”

“Ah.”

“Make it eleven, and I’ll even throw in one or the other sappy love song, if you’re so inclined.”

“I’m not inclined. At all.”

Coy shrugged. “Your loss,” she said and started plucking at her violin as if she’d never seen the instrument before.

“Gods, you’re impossible.”

Ruby flicked a coin at her and Coy snatched it out of the air, still grinning.

“Good choice,” she said, changing the tune, humming softly, her bow dancing over the strings and the wind carrying the music like the sea carried their little ship.

“A silver for your thoughts, my love // a silver for your hand // a silver for a kiss, my love /// you said the sky cannot be bought // and I said just look up // see all the coins you have collected there // see them scattered in the dark // and I’ll add mine and more than that // just to have your heart. O, a silver…”

[perseidlion]

On Fanon vs Canon

Look, full disclosure: I hate the name Thomas for The Cat King. I think it's a far too human a name for him, and it takes away from his otherworldliness.

Fandom seems to have attached to the pre-release casting announcement where he was briefly called that and well, fandom's gonna fandom. This would just be a me problem except for the fact that people are acting like the name is confirmed in canon.

I've seen posts from a number of people who think it IS canon due to its ubiquity of use in fandom spaces. They just assume they missed something in the credits of the show, or a version of him existed in the comics where he's called Thomas (there isn't, he's original to the show.)

Now look, this might not seem like a big deal, but I think it IS a problem. I know I might seem biased as a Thomas-name hater, but honestly I'd hate the name just as much if it WERE confirmed canon. I don't hate it because it's non-canonical. I hate it because I don't think it's a good name for him.

The problem comes from when fanon and canon bleed together where it's hard to tell the difference. Where fandom has collectively decided they like certain ideas or tropes and that it fits well with the show. This kind of thing is completely harmless as long as everyone keeps in mind that we're just playing around with fanworks. But when there's slippage...

I've seen it happen in a different fandom where people got deep into their own personal interpretations of characters and dynamics. A lot of people agreed with that vibe and started building off each other. It got pretty far from the source material, but these people felt like they had the right of it. It all made such logical sense to them and they'd spent so much time exploring an avenue in fanworks that it felt inevitable that their interpretation WOULD be canon.

And then a new season came out and not only did it NOT match their fanon, it directly contradicted their interpretation and in some cases proved it completely false.

People got VERY angry and started attacking the show for being "badly written" and accused the showrunner and writers of "betraying" them. When nothing in their fanon was promised or confirmed by canon in the first place, and some of the things they felt were inevitable were SO off what we'd seen on the show that it would have made no sense if their thing had happened.

Then these people turned on their fellow fans who pointed out the things they wanted were never inevitable, and in some cases would have made no sense. And then fandom got toxic.

I don't want to see this happen to the DBD fandom. The way to avoid that is to guard against the slippage between fanon and canon.

There is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with playing around in the sandbox of the show's world. That's the point of fanworks, and the fun of it. But we need to let go of this desire to be "right" about canon and that our interpretations are only valid if they are confirmed on screen. And we need to pay attention to the difference between what we see on screen and what makes sense/what we'd like to have happen.

Thomas lovers, you loving that name will not be diminished if he's never actually given that name. And my hate of the name will remain even if it's proven canonical. It's fine! It's not a big deal. Canon and off-canon are both extremely valid types of fandom expression.

Just...keep in mind that canon is canon and fanon is fanon. Sometimes fanon is proved right, but it is not inevitable. And the creators of a show don't owe it to us to do something just because fandom has decided they want X thing.

It starts with a name but can lead to other things if we're not careful.

[biasbuck]

BiAsBuck’s ficrec Fridays

Happy Friday everyone! Hope everyone is keeping safe and looking after themselves and each other in this here creative sandbox we're all playing in. I'm back again with another round of the fic I've been reading so far this month! You can find previous rec lists here.

16 August 2024

like i like my honey by @buick118 is a lovely one shot for some super sweet, romantic and caring domestic henren looking out for each other through the years! Hen's healing touch coming out in force to keep Karen looked after. This just made me feel so warm and happy, I love them and their love for each other so much! Plus the title is a Kehlani reference. YES.

when i see stars, that's all they are by @ithilien-writes was a gorgeous fill for the mixed media prompt of @summerofbuddie in which Eddie finds himself at a loose end and unwilling to go back to an empty home, so impulsively signs up to a community poetry class at the local library, makes some friends, and finds a way to channel his feelings. I really loved the slight fish out of water but giving it a go anyway vibe here, and how Eddie found putting his thoughts into words in poetic forms helped him to actualise his feelings.

an inch away from more than just friends by @littlespoonevan I absolutely adored and previously recommended part one which gave me all the romantic Eddie feels, and was eagerly anticipated part two and it did NOT disappoint!! In which Buck puts two and two together after Eddie shares a little of what he's been working through in therapy, and is determined to give Eddie the romancing he wants and deserves! The only problem is all the things Buck's doing to woo him it turns out he's kind of been doing all along. So so sweet, considerate and romantic. Beautifully written. I could just live here.

instructions on not giving up by @wildehacked this one's a hard hitter. Eddie's not coping and Buck is too worried to leave him alone, so invites him to join he and Tommy on their romantic hike getaway when disaster strikes. When the helicopter goes down after Tommy has a serious seizure, Buck and Eddie are grievously hurt and left to depend on each other to survive. Is rescue on the way? This packs an emotional punch but is well worth it for angst fans. Heed the trigger warnings! (Tommy is treated with respect but there is MCD, and suicidal ideation from Eddie.) Ow! My heart. It hurted so good?!

can't tell where you end (and i begin) by @absolutelybifurious Ravi invites the 118 out to a club, things escalate. Inspired by Ryan Guzman in Step Up (which I admit I've never seen but I HAVE seen behind the scenes rehearsal footage...hello), in which Eddie's got moves and Buck's got a problem about it. With a Lucy Donato cameo (yes thank you) and some very sultry dirty dancing. What more could you want?

the parts we play by @calinaannehart I have been absolutely loving following along with this actor!Buck au as a wip, and with just one more chapter to go now is the perfect time to start reading it! 'Buck isn’t a firefighter, he just plays one on TV, or at least that’s what he’s about to do. He’s offered the chance to shadow the 118 to learn what it’s like to be a firefighter. Eddie is fed up with these Hollywood types turning up and feigning interest in the job that he loves. Buck, however, is nothing like that and everyone can see the connection they have.' This feels really beautifully in character for an au and is expertly weaving in canon and reinterpreting it through the film star lens. So much fun to read.

PS - that's it for this week but as always, I'm on the lookout for henren centric fic, and early days Buck and Tommy (I like it best when it fits neatly into where we've left off in canon).

Feel free to self rec!

[according2thelore]

it always bothered me that in the show, when dean learns that sam kept the amulet at the end of s11, he didn’t immediately put it back on—esp since from what i heard, that was an actor preference, not a storytelling one!!! (the samulet chipped his teeth ☹️)

anyway i wanna imagine that in your time travel au it doesn’t happen like that 🥹 it takes es dean five days to notice that his older self isn’t wearing it (in his defense, he’s not used to looking at himself from the outside!), and when he does it makes him so mad. and that’s what drives ls dean to - out loud - say that yeah, he wishes like hell he had it, but he doesn’t, okay? what do you want me to do here, kid??….. cue older sam like uh well i mean hmm. do you mean that.

although now i’m thinking of es SAM being the one to notice, and he notices right away, but he doesn’t use at as a barb until all the little upsets boil over. oh man. that kills me too. poor kiddo. you don’t get to go to law school AND your loml brother threw away his wedding ring amulet.

anyway you don’t have to do anything with any of this!! just thank you for letting me play in your sandbox!!!!

hello!!!

YESYESYES!!!!

this ask made me start BARKING. let's discuss!

for those who didn't know--yes, the samulet leaving the show was a choice made by jensen because it split his lips a lot and eventually cracked his tooth. i can understand his choice to have it taken off of the character (as much as i simultaneously hate it) especially since it seems that it was chosen as a prop during preproduction of the show at random. they lost a lot of jewelry from S2-4 (i'm looking at you skull bracelet, ring, and jelly bracelet), but the amulet got an emotional backstory so it had a longer life on the show.

but as for ES/LS verse YOU ARE SO RIGHT!!!

ES!Dean is so distracted by how fucking huge these guys are (LS!Sam cough cough bouncy tits cough), and how discombobulating everything suddenly is (1 lb laptops? cellphones that are a flat screen? TVs thinner than a DVD player? IPADS???) to notice immediately. and you're so right! he's used to the amulet being a mostly physical thing--a weight around his neck so familiar that he hardly notices it until it moves--so not seeing it visually doesn't register.

but when he does, he's mostly confused at first. where is it? do we not wear it every day now? why not? we didn't fucking lose it, did we? did it get destroyed? i would know immediately if it fell off, so it didn't do that. hell, i don't even take it off in the shower, where the fuck is it? seriously, dude, look at me, what the fuck did you do to it?

LS!Sam gets more and more uncomfortable, because he's probably the only one at the table that knows it's not buried deep in a landfill in some random state. but he's not sure how dean will react to the fact that sam's kept it all these years, that he got on his hands and knees in a motel room and dug it out of the trash, wiped cold, damp coffee grounds off the pendant, and put it in his pocket with fingers that shook.

then, as you wrote so in character it made my teeth hurt (!!!!), LS!Dean snaps. i don't fucking have it. i threw it away, and i wish like hell i didn't, but it's gone. what do you want me to do here, kid?

and AHHHH!!! you are so right!!! LS!Sam goes fucking rigid like uhhhhhhhhhh...on a scale of 1 to 10 how much did you mean that be so serious rn 🥺 like hmm. well. hmm. let's say for argument's sake...🥺 👉 👈 ...

ES!Sam notices IMMEDIATELY that LS!Dean isn't wearing it, and it's one of the main reasons he's positive the LS!Boys are some kind of demon/shifter/ghoul/trick. because if this was actually dean, he'd have the amulet.

LS!Dean notices ES!Sam glaring daggers at his sternum, the spot where it used to be, as LS!Sam does all the usual tests and tries to calmly explain what's going on. he feels even more guilty as hell, whether or not he knows LS!Sam still has it yet. he crosses his arms over his chest and stares back, not quite able to muster the heat of a proper glare.

it breaks his fucking heart a little, because yeah, it is a betrayal, isn't it? even if his body is copy-able, or mutable, or not able to be trusted, sam should be able to trust a landmark that dean disposed.

but when ES!Sam finds out what exactly happened to the amulet?? oh lord. complete and total meltdown to be frank. "you don’t get to go to law school AND your loml brother threw away his wedding ring amulet." KNOCKED ME OUTTTTTT

because literally!! not only does sam not get a normal life or a nice job or an apartment that's not a windowless bomb shelter but he and his brotherwife got DIVORCED????? he's all but shaking LS!Sam back and forth like WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU???? HOW DID YOU FUCK IT UP THIS BAD??

no one tell ES!Sam that he and dean found out they were soulmates and dean threw his wedding ring necklace out on the same day. he will knock a hole into the bunker wall just so he can jump out of it.

on a more serious note, it is very much "not only are we still on dad's insane revenge mission," *points furiously at LS!Dean* "we're apparently not even a goddamn team anymore!" his voice cracks "can we even stand each other? are we still brothers?"

your characterizations for them were so spot on!!!!! canon to me!!!! this ask is a beautiful painting--babygirl (gender neutral) this is OUR sandbox!

thank you for this lovely & insightful & incredibly written ask anon!

-lizzy

[my-own-walker]

hi again lmao, can you please make an imagine where you have your first time with warren lipka (evan as him and female pronouns please )?? thank u sm

note: with peace and love, i know warren is a pretty darkly written/intense character with like a lot of baggage but in keeping with the theme of the reader's first time I'm gonna write him as a total sweet softie. no hate to people who write him that way, bc i eat it up every time, but yeah.

warnings: sm*t,

+++

The rain fell heavily on my windows, near gale-force winds roaring by outside. I always loved thunderstorms. I found I could only truly relax when the weather was at its most chaotic. Bad weather had always just seemed like a good excuse to do nothing.

And there was no one I enjoyed doing nothing with better than Warren. He and I were friends since childhood. Our birthdays were in the same month of the same year. Our moms met while pregnant. Joined some group of pregnant ladies that were pregnant together and due around the same time. Warren was just four days older than me. We had tons of play dates as kids.

I’ve always loved him. Even from our days in diapers. The way in which I loved him changed over the years, but sandbox love never dies. The underlying love I had for him was something born out of childhood that retained its youthful innocence. The blushing, bashful, feet-kicking, hair-twirling desire that permeates even schoolyard crushes.

Growing together and apart and then together again meant that no matter what, we could depend on one another. We went to the same pre-school, survived the perils of public school together-ish, then proceeded to go to the same college.

His mother was thoroughly convinced we’d get married someday. ‘It’s fate,’ she’d say. I wanted to be his someday. I never broached the topic with him, though. After countless ‘like a sister’ comments throughout high school, I didn’t dare suggest being something more to him. I wasn’t entirely sure I’d be his someday. And I wouldn’t dare jeopardise our friendship for the fulfillment of some ancient crush.

But as the rain fell, surrounded in my blankets, laying next to Warren, listening to music, I couldn’t help but realize the feeling was becoming too much to bear.

He was always at my campus apartment. He hated living at home. We were so totally comfortable with each other, he practically lived with me.

He lay there, unmoving, on my bed. Just inches away from me. His eyes were cast at the ceiling, staring off into whatever daydream he fancied. The rain was also his favorite. ‘Karma Police’ by Radiohead began playing over the small speakers. Warren groaned loudly.

‘God, Y/N, enough of this miserable shit! Why do you only listen to like, the world’s saddest music?’ he whined. ‘Give me your iPod.’

‘You’re such a drama queen,’ I sighed, rolling my eyes as I chucked the device in his direction. He caught it clumsily and laughed in triumph when he switched the song.

‘Sweeter Memories’ by Todd Rundgren played.

‘That’s an out-of-the-box pick,’ I smirked, raising an eyebrow at him. ‘You feeling some sappy 70s shit?’ He didn’t reply. I smacked him lightly on his stomach.

‘What?’ he exclaimed, feigning annoyance.

‘You like ignoring me?’ I laughed.

‘It’s only my favorite pastime,’ he snarked.

‘Yeah? Ignore this,’ I challenged, lurching to jab at his sides with my fingers. He jumped and sat up abruptly, turning to get me back. I squealed and scrambled to get out of bed before he could reach me, but it was no avail. He grabbed me around my waist and began to tickle my sides, rendering me utterly helpless. I succumbed to my own laughter and melted into his touch.

We ended up a collapsed heap on my bed, Warren hovering just above me as we both giggled. Sobering, he looked me in the eyes before lowering himself to kiss me. At first a soft, closed-mouth kiss, slowly morphed into something more passionate. Without warning, he pried himself from me, sitting up at the edge of the bed, turned away from me.

‘God, I’m sorry,’ he breathed. ‘That was…’

‘No, no, it’s fine,’ I interrupted.

‘No, man, I think I just took advantage of you or something. I’m sorry,’ he gushed, hands flailing defeatedly as he spoke.

‘Warren, it was okay I promise,’ I insisted.

‘I just, like sometimes, I’m just being stupid,’ he stammered. ‘I feel like I’ve just been wanting to do that.’ A hot flush came to my cheeks. Waves of heat on my face indicated just how much I had been needing to hear him say that.

‘Really? Because me too,’ I replied, almost soundlessly. He turned to face me slowly, an unreadable expression painted on his face. I froze and began chewing the nail on my thumb.

For some relevant context, I had really never even been kissed. Warren was a seasoned veteran in the world of relationships and physical touch. I, I guess subconsciously, had been waiting for Warren for years. So, in turn, it rendered me a hopeless romantic and a college-aged virgin. He was the one I wanted, so I never pursued anything with anyone else.

'Are you sure?' Warren spoke, breaking my train of thought. Instead of replying, I sat up on the bed to meet his lips and began kissing him again. He pushed me back down, positioning himself to be on top of me. ‘You okay?’

I didn’t even realize I had tensed up a bit.

‘I’m good I’m just…new to this,’ I breathed, punctuating my sentence with a small laugh.

‘Oh god, I didn’t even, I totally forgot you’ve never…’ he stammered. ‘I can take it slow.’

‘If you can’t walk, then run,’ I replied. ‘I’ve never been one to take things slow.’

His lips reconnected with mine. I reached for the hem of his shirt and tugged at it to indicate that I wanted it off. He adjusted himself to help me slide the fabric over his head. He laughed and shook his head.

‘I can’t believe we’re doing this,’ he chuckled.

‘Warren, shut up,’ I scolded.

He pulled my sweatshirt over my head, leaving me in just my bra and shorts. I felt weirdly exposed. I laid there, not entirely sure what to do with myself, where to put my hands, all of that. Warren took the liberty of taking his pants off himself, probably knowing I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing it for him.

I felt his hot breath caress my chest as he peppered kisses all over my breasts, just above my bra. Goosebumps covered my skin. I had never felt anything like this. I just wanted him in every sense of the word. I guided his hand to the waistband of my shorts. He got the hint and pulled them off swiftly, beginning to kiss my thighs and tummy.

My stomach turned. As much as I wanted this, I couldn’t help but be a little scared. Warren looked up briefly and must have seen the look on my face. He softened and returned his attention to my face. The eye contact calmed my nerves, allowing me to give him the go-ahead to take things all the way.

He slowly pulled off my underwear and lined himself up with my entrance. I kept looking into his eyes to steady myself, and before I knew it, he was inside of me. I gasped quietly at the pressure.

‘Okay?’ he grunted. I nodded in reply. He pushed further into me, taking care not to hurt me. Tears rushed to my eyes. It was such a strange feeling. Warren hit his stride. Knowing my limit, he began to thrust rhythmically. At first, I wasn’t sure if I liked it. But after a bit, I began to relax into him and feel the pleasure and warmth of the experience.

I screwed my eyes shut and moaned slightly. Two things I had no control over. Warren moaned, too, seemingly pleased with my reaction. It wasn’t long before he came.

‘My god,’ I sighed, feeling a a sense of relief that was entirely unique and new. Warren, who had crashed down onto the bed next to me, panted heavily.

‘You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that,’ he murmured.

‘What?’

‘It’s always been you,’ he continued. ‘I’ve always wanted you.’

‘Warren, there’s no way. I’ve always wanted you,’ I said, shocked.

‘I just thought, I don’t know, you saw us as just friends, or something. Nothing more,’ he elaborated.

‘That’s what I thought you felt,’ I replied.

‘Guess we just needed to talk it out,’ he smirked. He pulled me in closer to him, guiding my head to rest on his chest. Experiencing this side of him was something I’d always wanted, and I was in such disbelief that it was all happening so fast.

Listening to his breathing even out, my heart swelled at the dream I was now living.

+++

I think this sucks but I’m not sure LMAO. I just like Warren a lot and I picture him being very soft in private idk. Thank you again for the request!

[animentality]

Maybe a hot take, but I think Durge is the real protagonist of BG3. Like... I'm sorry, everyone love their Tavs, but from a narrative point of view, it doesn't have fucking sense. It's just another guy (gender neutral) in a The Choosen One situation. I've read this story before, hundreds of times. But Durge's recepción (or disgrace)... now that has juice! That makes sense on a narrative level. You started it, you end it, one way or another.

Anyway, I'm never (with my +500 hours) going to play a Tav run. Ever. Origins only, mostly Durge. Durge and Durgetash are waaaaay better, sorry not sorry.

You are spitting nothing but facts, anon.

You wanna know what the HONEST to GOD fundamental problem is with the writing of Baldur's Gate 3?

It's that it spreads itself so thin, desperately attempting to write an open sandbox sort of world in which ANY kind of character can fit in...that it ends up being this hollow nothing.

IMAGINE if the Dark Urge WAS the default protagonist. It WOULD'VE BEEN an amazing story, if it had been given the focus it deserved, instead of just blankly repeating the SAME dialogue you'd get as a Tav and as an origin.

The idea of a former villain turned amnesiac, and going on an adventure, learning about themselves from the perspective of an outsider and seeing firsthand the horror they've wrought? It's like a fucking Zuko arc, except finding out you were the Big Bad all along could've been written even better than that...

We could've had that blank, nothing slate that Tavs start out as...and then find out, that it has thematic significance, because WE CHOOSE who we become, after a childhood/adulthood of being unable to make our own choices, and being forced into the role of the villain before the game even starts.

It's a MUCH BETTER WAY to give people a blank slate to work with, for the fun of roleplaying, but ALSO asserting a particular theme. Which is, the gravity of your choices, big and small. To do good or to embrace evil.

YOU KNOW. How Baldur's Gate 1 and 2 did being a Bhaalspawn.

IT'S ALSO A REALLY GREAT WAY to DO an RPG because yes, you slightly infringe upon the freedom of the customizable characters a person can make, but in exchange, you actually tell a fucking story where choices are the main theme.

INSTEAD. Because they were so dedicated to Tavs and the variety of ways you could play as a Tav...they completely undersell and underutilize what could've been a really amazing character.

You can literally choose to DIE for your friends in the end...and then what?

Withers brings you back in five seconds, no one has any real reaction to you doing that, except saying good job buddy :)

And then you're basically a Tav.

And ALSO. I want to say this, because it's been bothering me.

The Dark Urge has Tav syndrome too.

They have TWO notes in the entire game that we have to read into to try and glean a greater depth to their character other than murder hobo.

And that's it. They're a blank slate too.

If the Dark Urge was the protagonist, we might've been able to look into who they were before, outside of just laughably evil flesh eating monster.

They might've had real fucking depth, instead of just tidbits.

I and my fellow Dark Urge/ Durgetash enjoyers have to do the fucking work for them and write in stuff that isn't actually there. The Dark Urge as a protagonist could've been really meaningful. We could've seen inklings that they had misgivings about being Bhaal's Chosen. We could've seen scars of resistance, where they tried to defy Bhaal, but were punished with death, disintegration by the loving hands of your own father and flesh. We could've had betrayal, redemption, loyalty to one's blood family vs one's found family.

But we don't get that, because it's taking too much time away from Tavs.

Sometimes I really wish the Dark Urge wasn't even an option. They gave me this thing, and I thought wow this is the only way to play the game...and then I look and see, ah. But the potential for greatness could drive me absolutely insane.

And it has.

Durgetash is the product of my frustration with the game's characterization of the Dark Urge.

And I know I'm pissing off the salty BG3 fans who love their Tavs and all, and think the Dark Urge is lame, and god FORBID a protagonist have a character, can't have that in an RPG, but I can't find it in myself to care.

I'm built different than the rest of y'all. I don't just feed on content, I analyze its nutrients. I calculate how good for me it actually is.

And BG3 has wonderful mechanics.

But the story has so many problems, from beginning to rotten end.

And it is what it is. I still enjoyed myself playing it.

But the story isn't good for anything except allowing you to create a far more compelling story on your own, in fanfic or in original work inspired by it.

And I guess if that's all they wanted, then fine.

But goddamnit, I'm gonna complain anyway! Divinity 2 did it fucking better.