#our experiences are valid

[acecubus]

The most heartbreaking and loneliest part of being on the aromantic/asexual spectrum is that, even if you try and explain to people how you feel about all that shit, they still don't understand what you're saying.

I am happy with myself, and I am not less happy just because it's enough for me to experience love in a different way than most people. Especially since I identify as aego-aroace.

Yes, I do not feel sexual or romantic attraction. However, that does not mean I can't enjoy thoughts about either, especially if it doesn't involve me. I prefer reading about different pairings or creating characters myself who may or may not get to live happy ever after with their loved one. I like the idea of having a relationship, but I do not need one to feel the same amount of comfort and happiness as allosexual/alloromantic people do.

I am valid. My experiences are valid. Telling me or people like me that I "haven't met the right person" or "am too young to know yet" is painful. I am not broken!

The amount of days I cried myself to sleep because I've got told things that made me feel like my very existence is not enough, even though I should know it's not true. Sometimes it feels like everyone else is awake while I'm in a coma, destined to never wake up, I'm on pause while the world is spinning around me.

I am a 24 years old adult human being and I've come to terms with my identity like 13 years ago when I was still a child - the only difference is back then I didn't knew there was a term for how I felt.

Just because the dress is blue/black for me while someone else sees it white/gold doesn't change the fact that it is still a dress - iykwim.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[brianmayism]

YES the last part too! Emotional and mental health are just as important as physical health! That includes making time for yourself and allowing yourself to do things that you actually enjoy.

My mom gets mad at me that I sleep at 3am and wake up for uni at 6:30 on my own personal choice but like bro I study the entire day (until like 1am)--because that's how demanding my program is-- after I wake up, and that's how I cope with how stressful uni is.

I can somehow relate to previous reblog but in a different perspective/situation. I was diagnosed late with ADHD and it's believed to have aided me to develop some kind of perfectionism related to how I was raised (yes, lots of asian countries live up to the perfectionist stereotypes). At 6 to 14 I would stay up to 12am to study, do art, study music, maintain my membership in scholarship groups in school, join the choir and bands, etc. I got so tired of the routine and began to do the "normal" person routines like social media, etc. and I was always punished for it. If my dad saw me using my phone for a minute instead of studying, I literally got ass whooping. The attitude remains in me, obv. The way you grow up leaves a mark. I get mad at myself for very tiny flaws and feeling stagnant in life. But I guess my college program is somehow helping me to understand myself more and lessen these tendencies.

It's sad. During our childhood and adolescent years, we're still learning so much about ourselves and I think it's incredibly mean and aggressive to force children (I think ppl forget teens are children too!) to be busy with their lives this way 24/7 and make them feel guilty for the rest they have the RIGHT to. At this point society makes you feel that rest is a fucking privilege it's insane.

I hope we all learn to be kind to ourselves with the manner that we know, be it laying in bed all day, spending money, eating, etc. all with moderation. Also hope we could break the toxic cycle.

So yes. When you ask me if I'm busy, I am. I am busy cuddling w my dog. Yes I'm busy eating. I'm fucking busy reading smut fics. I'm extremely busy watching tiktoks. Don't bother me again.

“If you have time to watch Netflix you have time for a side hustle” my side hustle is relaxing so that my body and brain can heal from by this nose-to-the-grindstone bullshit. I refuse to feel guilty for being a human with the need to relax sometimes. my side hustle is no.

[thorough-witness-enjoyer]

Maybe it’s my experiences with my culture and having relatives who are immigrants, but the conflict between humanity and the eliksni reads more to me than just a message on xenophobia.

To me, it’s also about how groups who have experienced oppression are often pitted against each other by the circumstances created by their oppressors to keep them stuck in a cycle of violence and mistrust with one other. This cycle keeps groups who share similar pain and plights from extending mercy to each other and joining forces to fight against the systemic forces that brought them both into a hostile state, which is exactly what those forces want as it keeps those groups powerless and unstable.

[blakbonnet]

can I also just - so everytime I've come across a piece of Ed art where his skin is too light, I've sent an anon ask or DM to the artist - explaining very politely why they should redo the piece and the history of racism in this fandom. And every single time (except one asshole), artists have reacted well to this and understood my point, and some have even reposted the piece after correcting their mistake.

Idk that makes me happy, to have the freedom to say that and not have to deal with butthurt artists. Most people are kind, but you have to start from a place of trying to educate and idk not start a witchhunt, if you truly genuinely want them to do better.

[not-so-superheroine]

Jesus is my older brother, not my dad.

other christians don't seem to feel the same?

am i missing something where he insists on such a thing except perhaps with actual little children?

[our-arospec-experience]

I love that I can recognize when I'm physically/aesthetically attracted to people while maintaining full confidence that I'm AroAce :] People are CUTE People are PRETTY People are BEAUTIFUL godammit!!

-🍜 anon

Yes! It's so beautiful when that happens!

[thepoisonroom]

'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.

I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.

About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'

-Casey Plett, Consciousness

[rollercoasterwords]

yeah u can put "i hate jkr" and "fuck terfs" in ur tumblr bio but. can u listen + reflect when a trans woman criticizes hp fandom without immediately getting defensive.....

[lapdogchase]

u can literally talk abt ur own experiences with transphobia and people being violent or bigoted or cruel towards you because you're a trans man and people will compare you to deranged conspiracy theorists for daring to say you might experience discrimination. it's fucking crazy like what level of internet brainrot do you have to have to think it's helpful on any level to deny someone's experiences and call them conspiracy theorists because they're a trans man and "men aren't oppressed" or whatever

[hms-incorrect-quotes]

Mind: I suppose you think that’s cute. What it makes you is a fraud.

Heart: yeah but i’m a cute fraud though right?

[our-lesboy-experience]

it's upsetting to see people online against your identity who are queer, themselves. I'm mostly desensitized to it because I'm trans lol, but I do still experience frustration towards the people so hellbent on ripping apart the queer community with their intolerance. Just pick up a book, listen to other people about their experiences for ONCE in your life, people. 'Oh it's just fetishistic cis men' when a huge chunk of us are multigender, or nonbinary, or anything but cis and/or binary men. And yes, there are binary men who are lesboys who deserve just as much respect and I'm tired of accepting this idea that if you're a binary man you cannot be a lesbian, cis or otherwise. It's absurd to pretend that sexuality is a box with correct and incorrect ways of being, because that's what cishet homophobes believe too. It's no better to be anti lesboy than homophobic.

I know, when we're placed in a world that seems so man centered, and you're pressured to be into men as a woman when you're not, you can feel insulted by lesbian men and stuff like that. But once you learn that queer people being queer differently than you aren't trying to hurt you, you'll thank yourself for it. Once I stopped believing in some made up rules, my rollercoaster of an identity isn't so confusing or stressful anymore. We can view gender AND sexuality like this, and that's where a good chunk of progressives fall flat. Because when the average person thinks of 'lesbian' they think of women attracted to women exclusively, with hardly any room for gender fuckery or malleable attraction... and the 'nonman x nonman' definition isn't much better. It's still rigid with its allowances.

It's time to leave boxes behind as a community. That's why when I'm elected as president-

sirenium is going to be participating in the election this november. make sure to vote lesboy no matter who

[mephist0phallus]

Idk I think sometimes when a trans guy is talking people listen to respond. And what they’re listening for is any indication that we’re faking it, arguing we have it worse, or crying to be let into the Club for Big People Problems. There’s enough weird fucked up abuses going on for all trans folks to get a turn talking about ours, and I’m not going to preface every sentence with that or disclaim the ways other individuals are going through worse. I’m not the Longsufferingest Man Ever but I’m not going to pretend I’m Mr Leastsufferingest.

[critterchitters-closedcaptions]

saw something in the fictive tag here that bugs me.

if you have exomemories thats fine. you arent "wrong" or "faking" if you remember things from your source.

also, you arent "wrong" or "faking" if you Dont remember things from your source.

can we all just live and get along please. you dont have to go at someone else's throat just because you experience plurality differently.

[luckycheesefoodie321]

Parents bringing their kiddos to see the latest Pixar movie and getting their shit absolutely ROCKED and the kids who aren’t quite at that mental stage of development gonna be sitting there wondering why tf their adults are sobbing their eyes out.

[luxiomahariel]

the transmisogyny tag is just constantly full of transandrophobia

its so annoying

[blue-banditt]

ngl i think it's kinda weird how ppl say that pwBPD base our self worth and value and identity on other people's perception of us. Because that's not even HALF of it.

In reality, we base our self worth and identity on OUR perception of OTHER peoples perception of us. We don't know what they're thinking. Its all in our fucking heads 😭 we make up our reality and it's a shitty one bc we're forced to constantly be reliving our trauma.