#otherwise we'll just plot something else!

[kislnd]

possessive - george clarke~

synopsis: george has to collect a tipsy y/n after a night out with her friends - there he is introduced to one of her old coworkers.

notes: i managed to accidentally post this several times before finishing it lol (pain) 😭 thanks to anon for requesting this plot x

warnings: alcohol & angst (good resolution dw guys)

word count: 2.4k

masterlist

"are you almost ready?" george called out to y/n, who was in the bathroom finishing up her makeup. she knew her friends were here to collect her for their night out and george was just making sure she didn't end up keeping them waiting for too long. "yes, just give me a sec!" she replies, throwing a brush in the general direction of her makeup bag haphazardly.

"all done," she smiles, coming out of the bathroom, finishing touches all complete. "you look gorgeous y/n." george beams, wrapping his arms around her middle. "thank you." she returns the hug and gives him a quick kiss on the cheek before turning to walk towards the front door, with george following behind her. "have fun and be safe," he says, "and when you're ready to be picked up just give me a text." y/n nods, she was always grateful that he was willing to do things like that for her no matter what time of the night it was. "see you later then," she grins, a grin that he couldn't help but reciprocate, and steps outside to join her friends.

the pub that y/n's friends had chosen was a local one, but one that she had walked past countless times without ever giving it a second thought. she wasn't sure what to expect upon entering the establishment, but that didn't make her nervous. she had always thought that trying out new things or places was one of the things that kept life exciting.

once over the threshold, her senses were immediately flooded - loud music blaring from what appeared to be karaoke (something she anticipated she would have to pry her drunk friends away from later in the evening), several conversations, most of which were shouted in a desperate attempt to be heard over the music, and a strong smell of alcohol. at least, y/n thought, the people seemed to be enjoying themselves.

"we can either sit next to the speaker and go deaf or nearer to that group," one of her friends gestured to a fairly large group of rowdy guys near the bar, "and also go deaf." they all laugh at this, although their laughter was short-lived - the options really weren't good. "i vote anything but that," y/n scrunches her nose up thinking about the group - if they were already unpleasant from the safe distance at which she was observing them, god knows how insufferable it would be to spend a few hours practically on top of them.

after some deliberation, y/n and her friends settled on a table closer to the music. with everyone situated and ready for the night, a few of the girls made their way to the bar to grab some drinks.

"is that everything?" y/n questioned, scanning the array of drinks that had been poured for them. "seems about right," her friend shrugged, "we'll figure out if we ordered everyone something when we give them out." y/n nods, she was right. thankfully, enough of them had come to the bar to help out that what would have otherwise been a horrendous balancing act, was actually a swift and tidy transportation of drinks. y/n placed the last few glasses down on the table before turning to one of the girls and saying quietly, "i'm just going to pop to the toilet."

"do you want one of us to come with?" she asked, to which y/n shook her head - the bathroom wasn't far from where they were sitting and she wasn't worried about anything else. they had specifically chosen to sit across the room from the disruptive group of guys so she figured they wouldn't bother her.

either way, y/n decided she would move as quickly as possible, sliding past the few people nearby and into the room. she didn't want to spend more time than she needed to in there - pub toilets were unpleasant at the best of times and she also didn't really want to miss out on anything. nevertheless, she took a moment to freshen up - her makeup was still in position and her hair didn't seem to be so different from when she originally styled it so she simply gave her hands a wash and made for the door.

grabbing the cool metal handle, y/n threw the door open and set off with the intention of walking briskly back in the direction of her friends. instead, her stride was broken by a figure colliding with her as she stepped out of the bathroom. "oh!" she jumped back, her body flush with the door, "i'm so sorry." she exclaimed. the person, whom she had now realised was a man who had just come out of the bathroom himself, smiled warmly down at her. "don't worry, i wasn't really looking where i was going." y/n studied his face for a moment, she could've sworn she recognised him but she couldn't quite put her finger on where from. "sorry," she brushed a stray piece of hair out of her face, "do i know you from somewhere?" she paused, wondering if that had been a strange question, "i just feel like you look familiar," she added.

"you're y/n aren't you?" the man cocked his eyebrow, but didn't wait for a response. "we used to work together." realisation hit y/n, she couldn't believe she had managed to briefly forget him, they had spent almost every day for a number of years side by side. she couldn't even blame this one on alcohol. "of course!" she laughed at her own silliness and also in the hopes of relieving some tension - she was praying she hadn't offended him. "we had some good times." she smiled. much to her relief, he smiled back, "absolutely, i can't believe how much time has passed. i'd love to catch up with you." y/n liked the idea - she had to admit that she had wondered what he was up to and this would be the perfect opportunity to check in. however, she also recognised that she was here with her friends and it would be wrong to abandon them, especially when they were the ones that organised the evening.

"i'm kind of with people at the moment," y/n gave him an apologetic look, she had tried to word it kindly, in a way that didn't seem like a harsh refusal of his offer. "no worries, just whenever you have a free moment later on," he smiles, "drinks on me, of course." y/n returns the smile, "see you later then."

//

y/n could feel her head growing fuzzy and she could tell her friends felt the same, so it had been a collective decision to end the night there. with everyone calling taxis or friends to collect them, y/n decided to drop george a text to come and collect her in around half an hour's time. as promised, she found her way to her ex-coworker's table, telling herself that she could only accept one drink out of politeness and as to not hate herself too much the next morning.

"so what'll it be?" he asks grinning, digging into his pocket to find his wallet. "just whatever you're having," y/n slid into a chair and waited for him to return with the drink. soon enough, the drinks arrived and after getting over some initial awkwardness, they were back to chatting like old friends. y/n was so caught up in conversation that she hadn't realised george had texted her numerous times that he had arrived until he entered the pub himself and informed her.

"i've been trying to get you to come outside for a bit now," george says, approaching the table where they were sitting. he wasn't angry, he was aware that y/n would be caught up with her friends and therefore a little slower to check her phone, but he was confused. who was this guy? he'd met y/n's friends on countless occasions, and she often mentioned them, but this stranger hadn't ever seemed to come up in conversation. "i'm sorry," she looked up at him with flushed cheeks, the alcohol had definitely gotten to her. george was about to open his mouth to ask her who the mystery man was but before he could get there, she interjected, "this is my old coworker, from when i worked at the shop."

suddenly it made sense - maybe y/n had mentioned him in passing, he was sure she'd talked about her time at the shop a couple of times previously. "well nice meeting you," george didn't really feel like engaging in any formalities, all he really wanted was to get y/n home and go to bed. "we'd better get home." he smiled somewhat apologetically, and took y/n by the hand in an attempt to coax her to stand up. "honestly, please join us," the man, who george still didn't know the name of (nor did he really care to find out either), said. "we were only just beginning to catch up." george glanced at y/n, although he wasn't so sure if she was in a good position to be passing judgement.

"that would be nice," she smiled softly, "george?" she looked up at him with big eyes, eyes that he often found very hard to resist. george still wasn't sold on the idea. "are you sure? it's getting quite late now." he questioned, in the hopes that she would agree and they could go. he really was not a fan of how eager this guy was to spend time with her, and it was made worse by the fact that he hardly knew the guy. "please?" y/n tightened her grip on his hand, willing him to just take the seat next to her.

at this point, george obliged. it was clear y/n was enjoying herself and this guy didn't make her uncomfortable. it was not worth ruining her night and mood by forcing her to come with him. "alright." he said flatly, admittedly through gritted teeth. y/n raised an eyebrow at his tone but brushed it off, maybe he was just tired and besides, he absolutely could tolerate sitting down and talking for a short while.

//

the more he talked, the more george was sure he couldn't stand the guy. the way he looked at y/n with such blind adoration in his eyes, the way he kept reaching out to touch her on the arm briefly during the conversation and his body language, completely focused towards y/n as if he wasn't there - it was all far too much.

george made a point of blatantly checking the time and announcing it to the table, "right, i think we should call it a night here?" he turned to y/n, who was obviously more tired than she had been when he first arrived, who solemnly agreed. george stood up first, quickly helping y/n up and wrapping his arm around her shoulder protectively. "thank you, that was a lovely evening," her former coworker smiled, "we should do this again y/n." the fact he had purposely left george out of the conversation, without even having the decency to offer an invite to him (or to any of her friends) confirmed every suspicion.

george's body stiffened, his grip on y/n tightening slightly. "i don't think that would be appropriate." he said calmly, masking how truly infuriating it was for him to be witnessing this behaviour. "we're leaving now." he didn't give y/n a chance to wave goodbye or say thank you to her old friend, and instead took off briskly towards the exit and to the car.

"what was that about?" y/n looked puzzled, to her the night had simply been catching up with someone from her past and nothing more. "could you seriously not tell?" george himself was dumbfounded, it was beyond him how she could be so oblivious. "tell what?" y/n snapped back at him, "all i could tell was that you hated him. your face was sour the entire night."

"well forgive me for not taking a liking to the guy who was practically undressing you with his eyes," george began to raise his voice, he didn't like getting angry and wouldn't ever want to upset y/n but it was impossible to contain his rage in the moment. "he was not!" y/n protested, "he is just an ex-colleague, what has gotten into you?"

"to you maybe," george still felt disgusted, "i mean, did you even notice that he was constantly trying to touch you?" y/n shook her head in disbelief, "i think you're being dramatic. even if he was flirting with me, why would it matter?" silence clung to the air. george stared at the ground helplessly, he knew that no matter the number of ways he tried to explain this to y/n she would just be adamant he wasn't making advances on her. "i like you not him." she reached out to touch him on the arm, "george, i'm not angry at you. i think i was just surprised."

y/n stepped closer to him carefully and slotted herself under his chin, wrapping her arms around him in the most reassuring hug she could muster - he did the same. "i'm sorry." he mumbled into her hair where he had buried his face, "it's hard to not get jealous when you have such a beautiful girlfriend." y/n grinned, "you are silly." she paused, contemplating whether or not to share her thoughts. "and for the record, i do think you are extra hot when you're jealous."

"oh?" george raised his eyebrow, "well, as long as you don't keep meeting up with random co-workers that definitely have a crush on you, i can live with that." he chuckled. "don't worry, you definitely scared him away." y/n laughed, "i am not at risk." george mocked offense, "hilarious y/n," he smiled sarcastically, guiding her towards the car and opening the passenger door for her to climb in before getting in himself.

"i do love you, you know," she stared out of the windscreen in thought. "i know you do, and i love you," george patted her knee, "let's just worry about getting you home now."

[polyamorousmood]

Hello! Im poly but not as much in touch with the community so I thought id ask someone more experienced in a way instead of overthinking for weeks lol hope thats no issue since its not rlly a irl thing

Im making a comedy comic and I want there to be a joke where the main cast travels alot and anytime they say "we'll need help In x location" one of the poly characters keeps on saying "don't worry guys I have a girlfriend in there, she'll help us" and through the comic he has like 20+ girlfriends in all these diffrent locations, while its suppoust to be a lil joke i want to make sure it's not going into harmful territory so I thought id ask someone more in the community since while i am poly i also do recognize that im not above making stupid mistakes like that

Ah the overthinking and comedy are a duo i fear ToT

I personally fucking love that.

I can't promise no one else could conjure something to make it ✨️Problematique✨️ in their head, of course, but I think it's funny and cute for a comedy comic! I'd say go for it! Couple considerations below the cut that come to mind if you're trying to make "good poly rep", but these aren't hard and fast rules

Okay first thing for "good poly rep" is when we see the girlfriends, I'd show them being cutesy together😍!! They should be excited to see each other! Depending on the woman, maybe have pet names, inside jokes, etc. You don't have to belabor the point by stopping the action for eight pages every time we meet a girlfriend. I can think of several pithy ways that work well for a comedy comic (every time we meet a girlfriend, a shot of him exclaiming increasingly bizarre pet names and running into each other's arms, for example).

Secondly. I think it's fine if you leave the bit as it is, but if I were reading as a poly person, I'd be hoping for some other little indication all these girlfriends actually still matter to the character when they dont matter to the plot. Even just another throw away gag. He's going out Christmas shopping and comes home with an actual pack mule full of presents because he has so many partners to buy for (or vice versa, he has dozens of presents under his Christmas tree that are all covered in hearts and signed by different names. Or both). Or something like that. Maybe we see his phone calendar and it just COVERED in "phone call with Emily" "video chat Monique." He ends upbin the hospital and there's a line out the door for his visitors. Whatever. Even if it was a single-frame thing, I'd LOSE MY MIND. Totally optional, but it's something I would squee about 😁

Basically, it boils down to, make all these girlfriends... girlfriends. Otherwise it feels not super distinct from womanizing.

Hope that helps!! Good luck!! I'd LOVE to see this comic, please shoot me a link!

[jq37]

Seeing you describe your opinion on Wish (the movie itself) as "def do have oh boy" just has me curious now. What is it?

OK, so I let this sit in my inbox for a while because I planned to see Wish and I figured that it would be more fair to wait until I had a full picture of what the movie was before I started talking about it and...yeahhhhhhh having seen it my opinion has not changed. It's just intensified. 

MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW (lol, this got past 7k words)

And, fair warning, it's pretty critical so if you don't want to read something critical about this movie then this is your exit.

tl;dr: I think the movie Wish fails at basically everything it sets out to do and it's an absolutely awful 100th Anniversary movie for Disney. 

When I say it fails at everything, I mean EVERYTHING*. I'm going to break this into sections for organizational purposes. 

*The one thing I'll give it a slight pass on is the art style which I don't love but also wasn't like make or break for me. I would have preferred true 2D or a better implementation of the blended 2D/3D style, but if the movie was otherwise of the quality of something like Spiderverse or Puss in Boots, the animation wouldn't have bothered me. Like, I watched S1 of The Dragon Prince with no problem. I can forgive janky animation--and it wasn't even super janky. Just odd. What I can't forgive is literally everything else about the movie. 

Characters

How is this movie so full of characters and yet devoid of characters that matter? There are a million characters in this movie and basically only two of them matter: The King and Asha. But neither of them are compelling in any meaningful way.

There's a lot of to do about the last batch of Disney protags being very same-y in a quirky, all fluff and no substance way and I don't really buy into that. I don't think that Raps, Anna, Moana, and Mirabel are palate swapped carbon copies of each other. They have unique backgrounds and struggles and motivations. I feel like they're all quirky, sure. But they all also have an identity BEYOND being quirky. 

I do NOT get that with Asha. I don't feel like I have a good idea of what makes her tick at all. Like, she's kind. She wants her grandpa to get his wish. She wants to be the King's apprentice so she can help people. The queen (we'll get to her) exposits to us that she cares about people. But being kind isn't in itself an entire personality. The way Mulan is kind (defying the law to spare her father the ravages of war in his old age) isn't the same way as the way Cinderella is kind (making clothes for her mouse friends and protecting them from the cat). Asha just has a generalized want to help people, which is an admirable trait, but doesn't give us much to latch onto. It's so telling to me that in a movie called "Wish" our main character's wish is just, "To have more than just this" And yes, Disney princesses wanting "more" is literally their whole thing, but it's always more specific than that. Mirabel wants to prove herself to her family. Rapunzel wants to experience life beyond her tower. Even Snow White--the Disney princess with the flimsiest story--wants to find her true love. That's a concrete motivation! Asha doesn't feel real to me as a character. It feels like the thing that drives her is that the plot needs to happen and that's it. 

The other important character in the movie is King Magnifico who was supposed to be a return to form for Disney in introducing another classic villain but he just fails at that so hard. The idea that he could stand toe to toe with any of the OGs like Lady Tremaine or Scar or even the latest villains like Dr. Facillier or Mother Gothel is laughable. He just doesn't have any gravitas. And his characterization is so odd. You can tell that they were trying to give him a "reasonable man doing unreasonable things for a good reason” backstory (both because of some images in the film and some stuff in interviews I read) but then they just...don't actually give the backstory? Like, they imply that the backstory exists but I don't remember them going into it at all. Which like, he doesn't NEED a tragic backstory. He can just be doing what he's doing because he's evil. Ursula didn't need a reason to want to rule the seas. She's just a boss bitch and she wants power. I don't need to dissect that any further. BUT if you tell me there’s a reason your villain is doing something, I need to see that reason. I don't understand why they would include that in the movie, just to do nothing with it. 

Beyond that, he's written in such a weird way. Like, despite the "maybe he has a point" angle they seem to want to go with, he's very obviously a self-absorbed ruler--like he'll say things like, "Yeah, I am super handsome" to his wife--which immediately dumps him into the camp villain category. But he's doing the controlling things he does in the movie of his own accord to get people to stick to the status quo he set up. Fine. That's a fine thing for a camp villain to be doing. But then, at a certain point in the movie, he just uses a forbidden magic evil book (which he has for some reason) that just fills him with evil, green magic and makes him 100% unhinged all of a sudden. And that's just...boring? Like, anything interesting you might have been able to do before that point about power and control and how sometimes you make a wrong choice with good intentions is just gone at that point. It sucks because there were a lot of right answers here. You could just make him evil because he's evil. That works. You could have him be seriously convinced that what he's doing is right and be willing to do whatever he needs to do to keep things that way. That works. You could say that he started out trying to be morally upright and then slid into enjoying the praise and control just a bit too much--and I think maybe that's what they were going for. But it does not come across that way. He just seems like a dick to the point where you're kinda questioning how he's pulling any of this off. Asha asks him one question and he flies off the handle. How does everyone not know he's an asshole if it takes so little to fluster him?

So I don't like our main hero or villain. But there are still SO MANY CHARACTERS in this movie. 

You've got Asha's SEVEN FRIENDS. Yes, SEVEN. they're based off of the seven dwarves, which is cute enough but do you know what happens when you give the hero seven sidekick characters? None of them get developed at all and you have to treat them like a unit. Only two of them matter at all--Dahlia (her best friend and the one who actually does more than just make dumb jokes or, worse, nothing at all) and Simon (the one who betrays them--more on that later). There is no story reason for them to have shoved in this many sidekicks. Especially since she also has…

Her animal sidekick, Valentino. Who is a very cute goat until he gets sprinkled with stardust and boom. He can talk. Which immediately made me like him less. Flounder he aint. The whole joke with him is that he's a baby goat with a rich, deep, baritone voice. That's it. Almost every joke he makes is either about that or his butt. Boo. 

Then, there's the Queen--Queen Amaya--who is such a NOTHING character. There's no effort made to build up her relationship with the king so that her flipping on him later has an emotional impact. I have no idea what she cares about or desires. When she shows up, she's basically acting like the king's secretary, which is weird. I don't think that's what a queen does. There's a moment during a later song when she joins the "revolution" and it just has zero impact because again, it's like, I don't know who you are in any significant way! She seems nice, and I would love to live somewhere ruled by someone boring and benign, but that makes for an awful movie character. 

I almost wrote "lastly, there's the star" because I totally forgot about Asha's mom and grandpa. They're in this movie too but even though Asha's whole motivation at the start of the movie is getting her grandpa's wish granted, we never get a good idea of what their relationship is. They have like, one quick scene at the top which tells us nothing, then they're in a crowd scene later, then Asha has dinner with them later the same day and that's it. And, again, we get nothing significant. Compared to something like Mulan where you have a good idea of what Mulan's relationship is with every member of her family by the time the military order comes in or Encanto where between the musical number at the top and the first group scene, you get an entire picture, this is really weak. Again, so weak that I completely forgot that they were even in this movie. 

And NOW lastly, there's the star. Who is like, cute enough but he really makes me annoyed because I've seen the original concepts and they would have been so much more interesting! That's the case for the queen too, so I'll talk about both of them together here. 

I am sorry to inform you if you didn't already know but the queen was originally supposed to be evil too.

She was supposed to be a part of an evil power couple with Magnifico and how dope would that have been? We've never gotten that from Disney before. Imagine! Disney Villain Song Duet! A Hot couples costume for next Halloween! An actual relationship that's developed in this movie! But nope. They unflavor-blasted her into the paper thin, placeholder of a character we have in the movie. 

And the Star went through a couple of concepts. One, was the spirit of her dead grandpa, taking a younger form, which isn't my fave one but it at least would give her a relationship with this person who is supposedly an important person in her life, something we don't have in the movie right now. My favorite alternate concept is that originally, the Star was supposed to be her celestial love interest. And listen, anyone who's followed me for long enough knows that I am a big advocate for platonic relationships and FRONTING platonic relationships. I don't think that a story needs a romantic relationship to be compelling and I think forcing one in almost always makes it worse. But there is NO central relationship in this movie to carry it. Asha has too many friends for any one of them to make a serious impact so it's not a friendship story. Her mom and grandpa are nothing characters, so it's not a family story. She interacts with the star a lot, but that's basically just her talking to herself because the start doesn’t talk. So nothing is really there to latch onto. If they'd decided to go with the romance angle, it would have forced them to focus on at least ONE relationship and it would have been a nice way to throwback to classic Disney movies from the past. Much better than just sticking her with SEVEN WHOLE USELESS FRIENDS. Literally, all they provide is backup vocals in the fight song. Special Dishonorable Mention to Gabo. Man I hate that dude. 

So, to recap this section, Asha's personality is only sketched out in the loosest possible way, King Magnifico is entirely half-baked, and there are so many side characters that no one can form meaningful relationships with each other. And it's really a shame because (1) they very easily could have pared down the cast and (2) very recently Disney put out Encanto which handles a large cast beautifully. There are a ton of Madrigals but I can tell you what the deal of each and every one is. This could have been done well and they fumbled so hard. 

Concept

OK, so next up is the general plot and concept. This story takes place in the city of Rosas which is ruled by King Magnifco. It is supposedly a paradise, but much like a YA dystopian novel, it has a twist: When you turn 18, Magnifico takes your wish away from you and puts in in his wish room with the promise that it might be granted at one of the monthly wish granting ceremonies. Once your wish is taken from you, you are "unburdened" and you're "free" from having to pursue it. You don't even remember what it was. 

There's a kernel of something interesting there. A ruler making his subjects docile, placid zombies that won't challenge him by taking away their ambition? That's interesting. People willingly giving away a part of their heart to dull the pain of trying and failing? Interesting. Someone doing this with no ill intent, but rather genuinely thinking that this half-existence is better than the heartbreak of the alternative? Interesting!

But the actual implementation of this idea? Ughhhhhh. 

So first off, just logistically, Magnifico grants one wish a month more or less (Asha says once a month and in his villain song, he said he granted 14 wishes "last year"). So like, realistically, most of these people have to know their wishes will never be granted, right? Because of like...how math works? Asha acts like it's a big shock when she learns that most wishes won't be granted but like girl...math. 

Secondly, there are two moments that are meant to imply that having your wish taken away turns you into a shell of yourself. Asha's friend (who betrays her) Simon is said to be all sleepy and more boring since he turned 18 and had his wish taken. And then, later in the movie, we see two new residents have their wishes taken, and they look a little disturbed after it happens. But, here's the thing. NO ONE ELSE IN THE MOVIE ACTS LIKE THAT. Asha's mom and grandpa act like normal people. So do all the other characters. It’s not consistent enough to establish that this is what’s on the line. Does taking your wish away make you a robot or not?

And does everyone just have one wish? I know I could fill a full sheet of paper, front and back, with things that matter very dearly to me. If you took away my wish to write for TV someday, that would still leave my wishes to travel the world and get a comic book adaptation of one of my novels and a whole lot of other things! Does taking your main wish away make you lose your ability to form new wishes? Logistically, how does any of this work? And you can't just say, "It's a metaphor. Don't think too hard about it," because there's a scene where the citizens start asking these questions. Like, "What happens if we have a new wish than from when we initially made it?" As if having unnamed side characters ask the questions first will alleviate the need to answer them. It's not lamp shading at that point. You're just being lazy. 

Also, this is more a me thinking about the implications too hard than an actual plot problem but if he's taking the wishes at 18 I feel like a lot of peoples' greatest desire at that stage in their life is, "I want a romantic partner." And if the central conceit of this premise is that once your wish is taken, you stop wanting to pursue it then the city of Rosas is gonna have a population Collapse problem very soon. 

The characters--especially Asha--get so emotional about wishes. It's like they're giving a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic speech every time they talk about it (except MLP has MUCH better writing). It's bizarre to see Asha's mom get her wish back and be like, "Oh my wish. My precious wish!" when she doesn't act any differently than a normal person before or after she has it back (Sidenote: She says this and she's holding the wish ball but we never see what that wish is and that's maddening. Why do I know what the dream of every patron in the Snuggly Duckling is, but they didn't show that? Ridic.) It almost is like, being in contact with a wish ball is a quasi-religious experience that drives the characters’ actions (Asha and the King are both totally enraptured while singing together in the Wish Room), but because we, the audience, are very much not in contact with the wish balls, we're not getting ANY of that. 

Anyway, to recap this section: the central premise of how wishes work and how taking them affects people is not treated consistently or explained well, which makes the stakes feel very undefined and sloppy. 

Pacing

This has to be its own section, because it's the thing that baffled me most when I watched this movie. So, here's the setup. Asha is going to interview for the internship with the king. She wants to help people and she has the secondary motive of wanting to try and get her 100-year-old grandpa's wish granted because he's not getting any younger. 

Here is the entire sequence: Asha is led into the interview by Queen Amaya. Asha is awkward but makes a good enough first impression that Magnifico is moved to show her the wish room (for some reason). They sing a duet about the wishes where they’re both dazzled by the Wish balls. During the song, Asha finds her Grandpa's wish and after the song, she asks him to grant it. He looks at the wish and says while she has good intentions, it's too dangerous to grant--as are most wishes. She asks why not give them back then and he immediately flies off the handle and starts ranting about how HE decides which wishes get granted and what everyone deserves! 

Their first meeting and him showing his true colors happens in the SAME SCENE. It's like 7-10 minutes and they just RUSH through all of that. And it's like, why? Did they really need to get to that dumbass star song (we'll get to that) faster? 

I know that he isn't a twist villain so we don't need to keep the fact that he’s the bad guy under wraps. And, the way the story is structured, she needs to learn what he's doing before she can rebel against him. But it's not gonna be a big, impactful moment if you're rushing from beat to beat like this is an essay that's due in twenty minutes and you started five minutes ago. 

And it really makes you wonder, if Asha can blow the whole lid off this conspiracy within ten minutes of meeting this guy, why is this not happening more often? Between how obviously smarmy the King is, how paltry the wish granting system is, and how easily Asha was able to start asking questions and get him to blow his top (something that happens again later when the citizens start asking question–it literally drives him into his villain song) I don't believe that this wouldn't have happened earlier (Sidenote: Finding out that it HAD happened earlier and that Asha is the latest in a line of failed apprentices who questioned him? More interesting premise). 

So to recap: I have no idea why this movie is paced like this but it's not doing it any favors. 

Humor

Humor is very subjective so you can take this with a huge grain of salt but I think this is a deeply unfunny movie. 

The jokes fall into about three main categories:

(1) Quirky Humor: This is like Asha babbling and tripping over her words. The scene in the trailer where she's like, "Is my face drooping?" is a good example. It's not really a joke but it's clearly an attempt at humor that I don't think meets the mark. It's also in the songs with, for instance, the animals or the King saying slang that doesn't match how they talk or you'd expect them to talk at all and it just feels deeply incongruent, not funny. 

(2) Referential Humor: This is probably what bothered me the most because it was just so so very eye-roll inducing. And listen, I love a good reference. Enchanted is my favorite movie of all time. I don’t begrudge them for putting a few references in their 100th Anniversary movie. But ugh. There is a scene after the king's gone crazy where he's destroying wish bubbles for power and he's like, looking at the wishes and making a quip before he crushes them. And for the second one he goes, "Oh you want a nanny for your kids? Definitely  POPPING this one!" And he might as well have looked at the camera and said, "Get it? Get it?" and it took 6 months off my lifespan. (Sidenote: He he does a direct ref with the first two wish bubbles--Peter Pan and Mary Poppins–and then he just makes a general ref to the concept of true love with the last one and it's like, come on at least rule of threes this if you're gonna do it. Commit to your awful bit!)

(3) Kiddie Humor: This is where things get especially subjective because maybe a little kid would find this stuff really funny and they are a part of the target audience so that's valid. But it doesn't add much substance to the movie. This is like the goat being like, "I found a secret passage with my butt" or leading a chicken choir or singing the line, "So that's where all the balls of gas come from" while sticking his butt in the air--a lot of these have to do with the goat and his butt now that I think about it. 

I think I only laughed at one thing in the movie that was meant to be at least partially funny--when the Queen interrupts the fight song and everyone is like "Oh shit, we're busted!" before she starts singing along. 

So to recap: Sometimes a movie has a weak story but it's super funny and that makes up for it. This is not one of those movies.

Music

This is the one thing I already knew before I watched this movie: The music in this movie is bad. 

Like, fullstop, no qualifications bad. Not bad for a Disney movie. Not bad for this story. Just bad.

I was a little confused by the choice to pick a pop artist instead of someone who specializes in musical theater style music for this project, but a more pop-y musical doesn't automatically mean a worse musical. Sure, maybe it's a weird choice to pay homage to the past 100 years of Disney movies, but it could be good. I love Six the Musical.

But that's the problem. The songs aren't just unfitting. They're not just un-Disney. They're fully BAD. They feel so half-baked and God, I've never been so assaulted by slant rhymes in my life. Like, this bothers me to the point where I have to go through the entire tracklist. I can't just make a blanket statement, I have to show you what I mean:

1) Welcome to Rosas: This whole song sounds like someone listened to “Where you Are” from Moana (the "consider the coconut" song), “Belle” from Beauty and the Beast, and “The Family Madrigal” from Encanto and was like, "I could do that". And then they couldn't. It's not really catchy and it's pretty repetitive. Super forgettable. 

Worst Line: Honestly, this song is too boring to have a worst line. 

2) At All Costs: This is the duet that Asha and Magnifico sing. Before I saw the movie, I thought it was going to be Asha singing about a wish and Magnifico singing to his wife to set up the eventual rift between them but that was before I realized that this movie doesn't believe in relationship building. Some of the movie's worst musical sins are on display here. Turns of phrases that seem like they were written by AI and bizarre syntax. 

Like what does, "You pull me in, like some kind of wind" mean? That's not what wind does. Why would anyone ever say, "Felt this? No, I haven't" instead of "I haven't felt this?" That's so awkward. 

Worst Line: "Leave you here, I don't wanna. I wanna [promise as one does]." My feelings about this line could be a whole other essay, but I've been writing this for 2 hours already so I have to move on. 

3) This Wish: This is the big "I Want" song and it fails on several levels. It fails in comparison to all the songs it’s standing in the shadow of--like the last “I Want” song we got is, I believe, “Waiting on a Miracle” and man! How can you not feel for Mirabel after watching her go through everything she goes through at the start of the movie and it getting topped with her being excluded from the family portrait? You see all the build up (including the implied build up from before the movie started) and you see why it's all bubbled up to the point where she has no choice but to sing about it! With Asha, there isn't a whole lifetime of angst that's bubbling up to make her sing this song. Everything that's happened to her has happened over the hour of like eight hours tops. She meets the king, finds out about the king, realizes the whole system is bad, and then gets into an argument with her family who's drunk the Kool-Aid and doesn't wanna hear what she has to say (which makes no impact on us because we have no idea what their relationship is). That's it. It doesn't feel like the movie has earned the song.

And then with “Waiting for a Miracle” the music itself is plaintive and soaring. Like, I just paused writing to listen to it and I couldn't help but sing along and pour a little of my actual IRL "I Want" energy into it. It's a song that feels very real. “This Wish” isn't any of that. And it's not the actresses' fault! She's pouring her whole heart into it and she consistently does all movie. But the song is just, bland. Like I said, "I want to have more than this" is too weak a hook to hang your whole song on–especially when it’s the song that’s supposed to be the thesis of your whole movie.  

Worst Line: "So I look up at the stars to guide me/And throw caution to every warning sign." That's not a thing people say and also it doesn't mean anything. If anything, it sounds like she's saying that she's being extra cautious at the warning signs! You can't just throw words together haphazardly and expect them to retain their meaning!

4) I'm a Star: This is, imo, the worst song on the whole track. A friend of mine described it as sounding like a song from a preschool science show and that's exactly it, but there's more to it than that. 

First of all, a big part of the reason this song exists is to set up the fact that humans are made of stardust because that's a plot point in the climax. But there didn't need to be a song about that. That would be like if Frozen 2 had a song about how water has memory. But like, OK. If the song was a bop, it wouldn't matter that it was superfluous. Haus of Holbein in Six does NOT need to be there, but I enjoy it! I do NOT enjoy this song however. 

This is something I alluded to earlier, but this soundtrack in general and this song specifically sounds like it's trying to do LMM's schtick but poorly. And I know some people don't like his whole style of music (I personally like it) but love him or hate him, his style without his skill? Awful. The presentation of fun facts in the middle of a fun song makes me think of his "Look it Up" in “Shiny” or "That's true" in “A Winter's Ball”. And there's a part where a turtle (we'll get to the talking animals) sings "See we're all just little nebulae in a nursery/From supernovas now we've grown into our history/We're taking whys right out of mystery, closure/Now we're taking in all the star exposure" And it really sounds like someone doing their best to emulate Lin's flow in things like Mirabel's aside to Mariano in “The Family Madrigal” or any number of songs I could name from Hamilton. But it just falls so flat here. It sounds so preschool and cheesy. And not preschool in a fun way. Backyardigans would never. 

Also, this song is sung by a bunch of talking animals (the Star gives them the ability to talk) and I find them so obnoxious. They say stuff like, "Did we just blow your mind?" with the "boom" sound effect and I hate it. Maybe kids will like them, I dunno. I refuse to get into it further. 

Worst Line: This song completely misuses the word allegory, which I hate, and it rhymes it with "excitatory" which I hate more (and I am saying this as someone who has made peace with the fact that Schwartz rhymes "nasty" with "flabbergasty" in Disenchanted) but there is only one line in this song that can be considered the true worst line because it's my least favorite line in the whole movie. A dumbass, stoner-sounding deer named Bambi (boo) sings, "Ooh, I'm a star! Watch out world, here I are"

They rhyme the word star--not a hard word to rhyme at all--with HERE I ARE. 

I firmly believe someone should go to jail for that. 

5) This is The Thanks I Get?!: This is the much anticipated and extremely disappointing villain song. There's just no gravitas and it's not clever enough to be very fun. It's just kinda bopping along which is eh, kind of fun at best, but like everything else in this movie, doesn't leave an impact. A musical number doesn't have to be obviously sinister like “Be Prepared” or, the holy (unholy?) grail, “Hellfire”, to be impactful. “Mother Knows Best” is bright and filled with false cheer but it still works because we can see the manipulation that Gothel is doing and she spins Raps around in mental circles to keep her docile. This is just an egotistical rant--and not even in a fun, Gaston kind of way! (Sidenote: Gaston is a good example of a villain who is preening and pompous and kind fo campy, but who you see why he’s beloved AND he can be menacing when the scene calls for it). 

Also, it's so full of weird slang that Magnifico doesn't use at any other point in the movie. "Peep the name", "Ungrateful much", "Mmm, are you sure you're not the prob?" It's like he suddenly got possessed by Urban Dictionary. It's bizarre. 

It also comes weirdly late in the movie, which isn't a complaint, just an observation. 

Worst Line: I think "peep the name" is my least fave but, because I already said that, the opening lines of this song are, "I can't help it if mirrors love my face. It's genetics! Yeah, I got these genes from outer space" and that's such a weird thing to say. I got these genes from outer space? He wasn't even there for the star song so what the hell does he mean by that?

6) Knowing What I Know Now: I feel like this is the song that had the most potential. But for all its build, it never builds to anything. It starts and ends so abruptly (which is the case for multiple songs on this list). We don't really get to know any of the characters well except for Asha so them joining the revolution has no impact. The Queen turning on Magnifico really doesn't have much impact. 

(There's a line in this song where a character sings, "I was sweet but now I'm something else" which is so funny because we literally know nothing about her except that she surprises people when she's in a room which, lmao, me too. Fully forgot you were in this movie, girl). 

Worst Line: "The good in him, I've watched it melt". There's technically nothing wrong with this line but I hate it because melting with regard to emotion is never, "Oh, his goodness is melting". It just hits the ear so wrong. You can watch the good in him disappear or fade or vanish. Not melt. Hearts melt. 

There's also a reprise and a credits song but I have talked about the music for too long as is so to sum up, there is not a single song on this list that I will ever purposefully listen to for enjoyment ever again and there are a few lines that I feel calls for someone being forced to go to whatever the musical version of the Hague is to explain themselves. 

MISC

This is just a section for things that annoyed me that didn't fit anywhere else. 

There's a moment where Asha sees Star which is a star that has fallen to earth and is shaped like a star and she's not able to put together than he's a star until she looks up at a ball of yarn that's tangled in the trees and sees that the yarn is shaped like a star...which again, Star is ALSO shaped like a star! Baffling. 

Gabo at one point makes a comment to the effect of, "Wishing on a Star? Grow up Asha, this isn't a fairy tale." And it's like, dude shut up. Your king is a sorcerer. This movie isn't funny enough to pull off that kind of wink to the audience. 

The actual funniest part of the movie is when a talking mouse (not a thing that usually exists in this world) runs onto the Queen's shoulder during a big speech in front of a crowd and not only does no one notice, but she has no stronger reaction than if a messenger was telling her that her dinner was ready. And not in an underreaction for the purposes of a joke way. Like, in a they forgot to write in a reaction for her way. It's so unintentionally hilarious. 

They specifically set this in the real world–off the coast of the Iberan Peninsula–but I didn’t get any of that influence in any significant way here. It could have been any generic island town. Rosas sounds like a Spanish name and “Welcome to Rosas” there is some dancing that looks like traditional Spanish dancing. But on a whole, it feels pretty bland. When I think about studying abroad in Spain, one of the big things I think about are all the moments with food–patatas con bravas, pan con tomatae, paella, and so so much coffee. The only food I remember from this movie are the novelty cookies Dahlia is always baking. Which is wild to me because their last big musical was Encanto and you could feel the cultural influences in every scene and it was seamless. This wouldn’t even bother me if that hadn’t made a point to set it in a specific part of the real world and call it out. 

A lot of the dialogue is super expository in a way that both makes me think the writers think we’re stupid and that they realized at certain points that they forgot to establish things but instead of fixing the script they just shoved in a line. Like, to the first point, there’s a part where Magnifico crushes a wish and it’s very clear that he’s getting a high from it. But instead of letting the moment stand he’s like, “Oh yes. Who knew crushing wishes would feel so good? I must continue to crush wishes so I keep feeling this good feeling,” and it’s like…why did you need to say all of that? Old Power Rangers episodes have their villains monologue less than that!

This movie opens on a storybook–just like Snow White–and it has a voice over of Asha narrating the history of Rosas as the pages flip. Not a bad idea–until you push into the scene and realize she’s telling all of this to…her grandpa? Who is 100 years old and lived through all of this? What? Why not have that scene be a kid flashback and the story is being told to her? Or have her be doing the little kid thing of telling a story to an adult? Either way, that would help establish their relationship which is ostensibly very important to this movie. Or, wild thought, just have her be telling this story to kids! Like Mirabel explaining all the Madrigal gifts in Encanto! Like, if you’re gonna take cues from that movie, at least go all the way so your movie makes sense. 

It’s very unclear how Star’s magic works. It seems like he mostly just gives wildlife the ability to talk. I thought he was just granting wishes but he never does that to any of the humans. And I find it hard to believe that the wish of every animal (and mushroom)  in this movie is just to be able to talk.

Easy Fixes

And all of this is compounded by the fact that this isn’t just any random movie or even any random Disney movie. It’s the *100th ANNIVERSARY*. You only get one of those and this is what they wasted it on. My hopes were really high here! I was expecting a lot of love and care to be put into this one, but it just fell absolutely flat. It feels so rote, so by the numbers, so lacking in care. It feels like the shell of an outline of a movie that relies on the fact that we know what a movie of this sort should be and can fill in the blanks. 

And the worst part? The absolute worst part?

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A REALLY EASY MOVIE TO FIX. 

Like, I’m serious. If you watch this movie, you will be able to, off the cuff, name tons of things that would have solved problems without breaking a sweat. 

For instance, just cutting her friend group down from seven to two would have helped immensely. If she, Dahlia, and Simon have a Three Musketeers relationship, then when he betrays her to the king, it actually means something now! 

For a bigger but still obvious change, why not have Asha have an existing relationship with Magnifico? So then this story can be about her losing faith in this relationship she’s had for a long time after she’s seen behind the curtain and become jaded over time and not a 7 minute “Don’t Meet Your Heroes” speedrun.

And making it clear what taking a Wish from a person means–and following through with that portrayal all movie–would all be a game changer. Show that Magnifico’s magical wish granting still leaves the people hollow. Show that Asha is a vibrant, bright person amongst a sea of robotic adults. Show me some worldbuilding! 

Also, just hire a musical theater person to do the music. Seriously I can’t believe I have to say this? How is there not a single good song in this movie? There are DCOMs with more bangers than this. Almost every song in High School Musical is a bop. How are you getting outshone by High School Musical?

And these are just changes that preserve the bulk of the story as is. This movie could have been even better if they’d change the direction to go with some of their scrapped ideas!

This is just a movie that absolutely baffles me. I wouldn’t think it would be possible for a movie with this high of a profile to be this bad. You would think that even accidentally they’d have to get SOMETHING right. But they really don’t. I can’t recommend this movie, even for a fun-bad watch. It’s like eating unsalted saltines while you have dry mouth. Just watch a better movie. And here are three movies I think are more in the spirit of Disney’s 100th anniversary than Wish:

(1) The Princess and the Frog does literally everything that this movie is trying to do but better. You’ve got a movie that used a 2D style in the 3D era. You have integration of cultural elements–in this case New Orleans in the 20s. You have a classic princess story with the classic trappings: romance, villain, fairy godmother. You have a rocking villain song. Hell, you even have a wishing star motif! 

(2) Encanto is the latest Disney movie of the modern era to have that classic Disney magic, imo. It sidesteps a lot of the classic Disney tropes–no princess, no serious romance (Delores and Mariano end up together but it’s very much a side thing), no villain beyond generational trauma–but it still feels musical and magical and full of character and life. It shows that you can keep the big emotions that we expect from Disney even with more modern sensibilities. 

(3) Enchanted is my favorite movie of all time so I’m biased, but I still firmly believe that it stands as a better movie in general and tribute to Disney specifically than Wish. THIS is how you do an homage. The whole plot is a loving roast of all the quirks of classic Disney movies, but it’s also a sincere story that stands on its own. It has references to old movies, but they’re integrated very naturally. And it’s funny enough to get away with things like a character mid-musical number being like, “What the hell is happening? Why is everybody singing?” without it feeling like lazy, “Well that just happened” humor. And the music is so good! 

(A quick note on the music btw: Most of the songs in Enchanted are musical theater style songs but there’s one song near the end called “So Close” which is like a pop ballad. And it totally makes sense why they’d depart from the musical theater style in that moment in context but, even if it was jarring and totally unfitting for the movie, it’s still objectively a strong song. Out of context, it would be a great, sad, romantic song. And if the music in Wish was all like that–good but unfitting–this would confuse me less than it does.)

Anyway, I would shell out a LOT of money for a making of documentary for this movie in the style of the Frozen 2 one because as writer and a fan of a lot of Disney’s past stuff, it is completely beyond my comprehension who a team of accomplished people get together to create the 100th Anniversary project with their vast resources and produce this. It just doesn't feel like a movie with any serious care put into it. Which is separate from quality, btw. I don’t like the movie Raya very much but I think it’s obvious a lot of care went into it and I respect this. Wish feels like a movie that was made to fill some kind of contractual obligation and it makes me sad because I really wanted to like it. 

[tree-obsession]

Gold and Red Text in Penacony

So, for some reason, I have decided to torture myself by creating a theory that will likely have some plot relevance??? but not totally sure. it has popped up a bunch of times and seems to confuse a lot of people, so I'm just putting together what I know! feel free to tell me if I missed something, as I haven't done many of the side quests yet...

Anyway, spoiler warning for 2.0 trailblaze mission and possibly some of the side quests?? idk proceed with caution! I don't read many leaks so I doubt there's spoilers for that but tell me right away if there are any!

Alright, so the first time we see different-colored text in this mission is during Acheron's first meeting with the Trailblazer. According to this twitter thread (credits to user mobnermal, NOT me) Acheron's dialogue will change, depending on the gender of the tb and how we respond to her queries. She also says towards the end of the convo something along the lines of "It feels like multiple different versions of you were talking to me, saying a different thing each time".

So, I'm not entirely sure why she's lying, or even if she's doing it intetionally. It does seem like there's some aspect of "different possibilities within the Dreamscape" happening- almost like the Dreamscape itself is changing the tb's answers/Acheron's questions. But again, we'll get a bit into the dreamscape later.

2. Aventurine's final convo with the tb, and then Black Swan later.

My screenshots were failing me so hard in this quest lol.

Anyway, as far as I know, these two are the only ones in this mission who use gold text. It's mostly used to highlight the word "truth", and according to the wiki and playthroughs I have watched this dialogue doesn't change- only Acheron's red seems inconsistent. I find it interesting Black Swan put quotations around it, and I have no idea what this could imply. I assume she knows something we and Aventurine don't about Robin's death, which seems to be what they were referring to during this part.

As to how that "upends everything"... I don't know what the implications of her death are. It's implied by the npc who raised Robin (can't find any screenshots- I didn't take any, but it's dialogue from an npc in the Golden Hour) and Sunday and Robin's dialogue in the very beginning- the one where they were "shades"- that Robin's voice may have some special quality that could mind-control/ brainwash people to some extent. This is a bit of a tangent, but may point out why the gold test is so important- the new Harmony trace mats match Robin's design very well, and are part of the Order. The Order's- Ena's- symbol is an eyeball, which can be found in a lot of places on Penacony, but most importantly Sunday's clothes. Judging from what we know of Sunday's control-freak-esque personality (sorry dude ):) it's possible he or someone else in The Family is using Robin's potential powers to brainwash the people of different factions. If you choose the alternate ending, everything wraps up a bit too nicely, and nobody seems to want to leave Penacony after that. Tb never finds out about Robin's death in that ending, either. There's a lot of implications there that I don't want to get into for this post, but basically- The Family is orchestrating something, probs pinned the blame on the IPC in the bad ending (since otherwise why would hoyo tell us that?) and then brainwashed everyone to never leave. Why? No idea! But it does explain why Robin's "truth" (in quotations, because Black Swan's dialogue does imply Robin's not dead) is so important to the plot.

That was a bit of a tangent, lol. Going back to the first sc, I find it interesting Aventurine is the one to tell us this, and if we're going with the idea that gold=truth, that just tells us Acheron's most certainly an Emanator, no matter what the Dreamscape does. Why they choose to have Aventurine reveal this, especially with the first instance of golden text- that's still up in the air. However, something I want to throw in is that there was a theory floating around Twitter comparing his eyes to the eye behind Ena in their official art. They are identical- even the gold outline on Ena's eye matches his eyeliner. Since it's implied in his conversation with Sparkle his eyes are a defining feature of his race, Sigonian, and that their civilization has been taken over (I'm not clear on details) or fallen apart somehow- akin to how civilizations under Ena's rule fell apart after their death- there may be some relation. Also, Aventurine was sent to Penacony specifically, which Topaz questioned- this may be why Diamond sent him. It implies a lot of plot relevance for him later, certainly!

3. The really, really ominous text you can get from a side quest.

If you go to the Reverie(Dreamscape) VIP lounge teleport beacon and head to the wall, you find a broken Clockie surrounded by purple bubbles. If you haven't done this quest yet- do it now, I really can't explain all this! search up a guide- there's a couple good ones on youtube. you do get a sticker!

anyway, some screenshots of the tape's text (cw for slight gore, explosions, screams, overall very ominous and vague tour-guidey stuff):

sorry for the text overlap lol, this was very inconveniently sized for screenshots.

anyway, yeah! possibly the most unnerving thing in the game so far (aside from those lost text stickers...). but, as you can tell, I'm gonna focus on the gold and red text. fair warning, I don't really know what to make of this, but I think there's some connection...

first, gold. this is, if we go off what I previously thought, the "truth". My current theory is that this gold is true of within or outside dreamscape- in other words, the dreamscape cannot alter that thing in the gold text. It's there, regardless of how the dreamscape screws other things up. The "truth" in the dreamscape isn't necessarily reliable, since dreamscape seems to fuck with everything, but gold is apparently truth, so we're sticking to that. That means that bloodshed, mind-opening (?), and pressure-releasing (???) is... true? It's kind of interesting- the other things in gold we've seen are statements with meaning, and this... kinda isn't. However, it could imply this is actually what's happening in the Dreamscape. Some kind of deranged, creepy thing that the dreamscape/ the Family is doing while everyone else is on this cool-looking vacation. I have no idea why that line, of all the lines, is gold, but it's certainly not something someone trying to make Penacony look good would say! That's all I know.

Not much I know about why the red one, specifically, is red either. Are the instruments/music fake? That's certainly a recurring motif in Penacony, between bands in the Golden Hour and Robin being a songstress, plus Ena's "Beyond the Sky Choir", their exclusive faction, which fell apart upon their death. Something about Ena being swallowed by XIpe will certainly be brought up later, I'm almost totally sure. It's also interesting it gets cut off by static, without even finishing the statement(I think). I have no idea what to make of these- I just needed to point out the similarities between this tape and the dialogue.

Also, the tape itself is suspicious. According to Woolesley, there are multiple, appearing all over the Reverie (Dreamscape) and sometimes even messing with the Dreamscape.

First of all, why the hell is he telling us this very classified-sounding info? Also, he literally might pop up next to you- it's inevitable that you give him the tape at some point, really showing how The Family is cracking down on these.

Also, who's making these tapes? Why are they leaving them around the Dreamscape if they know it'll be taken? What's with these side effects/corrupting? And what's the relation between the tapes, Acheron, and Aventurine/Black Swan- are those things revealed in the tapes things only those three are aware of, or care to tell tb? It's really weird, especially since they're apparently in Clockie statues? Also, why tapes even- the tapes themselves seem corrupted(or censored?) weirdly, judging from the lines, and also just... why would anyone make these? Someone against the Family presumably wouldn't do rebellion in such a way, and someone within would have no reason to create this at all- is the Dreamscape itself making it? it's the only thing using both red and gold text...

there's probably some connection to Clockie, since that's who is most likely talking in the tape... and that's the statue we found it in too. Clockie is sus in a whole host of ways- don't even get me started, but I'm not sure how they relate to this theory just yet.

I have no idea. The tape is super creepy, but things probably will clear up a bit in 2.1!

tldr/clarification(sry for rambling so much): red text = lie/subjective/ easily changeable, to the dreamscape at least

gold text= "truth", dreamscape is unable to change it(?)

ena probs will have some lore relevance along with Robin, who seems to be the center of this "truth" for the moment

the bizarre tape is very mysterious and questionable, with nothing solid that we know about it- however, it uses both red and gold text, which automatically makes it suspicious even beyond what it's saying directly

what the hell is the family cooking up? i don't know, but it's probably not good! (for us, at least)

thank you for reading this lightly-proofread, very rambling theory/speculation- you are an angel for making it this long!

edit: so number one- I've added a reblog to this post- plz check it out, it has some other details from the Chadwick quest. and also, there's this Youtube video that mentions the red text in the beginning! It has a very similar idea to mine, but the thing it mentions is not an option I made (I accepted Acheron right away lol, so I didn't grab this detail). And the entire vid is pretty cool, so you should see it!

[honeybeezgobzzzzz]

Ψ M is for Maraclea: Chapter Eleven

M is for Maraclea: Following an accident you had over summer break, you find yourself in limbo after being legally dead for several minutes. Now an outcast at boarding school, you end up finding comfort in a strange boy named Nigel. As winter draws near and tragedy strikes, your only reprieve from madness comes from a mind much like your own.

Warnings: None.

To Note: Nigel Colbie x Fem!Reader, NAMED Reader for Plot Reasons, There Are A Lot of DARK Themes.

Word Count: ~2.8k

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You are with Michael in the music room at the boys academy, listening him practice and giving pointers. His fingers glide over the piano keys with a practiced ease. The melody fills the space, wrapping around you like a familiar blanket. You wait until he finishes before approaching.

"Michael, your flow and transitions were smooth," you say, leaning against the piano. "I doubt you need further input from me."

He looks up, a small smile playing on his lips. "Thanks, Mary. Just trying to get ready for the recital next week."

"You'll do great," you assure him. "Your playing always has so much emotion. Technicality isn't the only measure the judges look for."

Michael chuckles, running a hand through his hair. "I appreciate that. I just hope I don't mess up in front of everyone."

Before you can respond, Alex strides into the room, his expression serious. He grabs your arm gently but firmly.

"Mary, I need to talk to you," he says, urgency in his voice.

You glance at Michael, who gives you a curious look before nodding slightly. You let Alex lead you out of the room and down the hall until you're away from prying ears.

"What's going on?" you ask, concern creeping into your voice.

Alex takes a deep breath, looking around as if to make sure no one is listening. "Mr. Colbie shot Mrs. Colbie last night," he says quietly. "Then he shot himself."

The news is bland on your stomach. More death? You try to process it, but something feels off. Nigel never spoke highly of his parents; their relationship was strained at best.

"Why are you telling me this before the gossip starts?" you ask, suspicion lacing your words. "Nigel wouldn’t mourn their deaths."

Alex's eyes flicker with something you can't quite place. "Nigel needs to act like he's upset," he explains, his voice low and urgent. "With the university sponsors visiting, questions will arise if he doesn't show any signs of mourning."

You cross your arms, leaning back against the wall. "Why do you care? I thought you didn't like Nigel."

He sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. "We've made our peace. We have something in common now."

Your brows knit together in confusion, nearly snorting. Sure, Alex and Nigel had similar minds, but they had been so brusk with each other you never thought they would see eye to eye. "Something in common? You two were acting like you get along like oil and water. What changed?"

Alex looks at you, his gaze softening. "You," he says simply. "We share similar thoughts in the extent we'll go to protect you."

"You two barely tolerate each other," you manage to say, trying to keep your voice steady. "What could possibly make you work together?"

Alex glances down the hall, then back at you. "We've realized we have to. For your sake."

You want to argue, but the look in his eyes silences you. He's not just being dramatic. There's a weight there, a sincerity that scares you more than anything else. A dark sharpness. You knew the lengths they would go. They already have.

"Very well," you muse quietly. "anything else?"

"Nigel will be expecting you after class," Alex continues, stepping closer. "Just... go along with whatever he needs today. Emotional or otherwise. The Colbie’s deaths are going to bring scrutiny."

You nod slowly, feeling a cold knot form in your stomach. "Okay," you say quietly.

Alex gives you a quick kiss on the crown of your hair. "Take care, Mary," he murmurs. "I'll see you later." You give him a small nod and watch as he turns and walks away, his shoulders tense.

When you return to the music room, Michael is still at the piano, playing a soft, haunting melody. He looks up as you enter.

"Everything okay?" he asks, concern in his eyes.

"Of course," you lie smoothly, a touch of a smile on your lips. "Just... family discussions. Play the last chord for me again."

He nods understandingly and resumes playing, doing as you ask. You sit down next to him on the bench, letting the music wash over you. For a moment, it almost drowns out the chaos in your mind. But not like Nigel does.

Nigel finds you sitting on a bench in the courtyard, his footsteps quiet but sure. You look up from the book in your lap, meeting his eyes. They hold that same intensity you're used to, but today there's a hint of something else. Uncertainty? No, it's too subtle for that.

"They came and went," Nigel says, settling beside you without invitation. "The university representatives."

You close your book, turning slightly to face him. "How did it go?"

He shrugs, but you can tell it's more than just a casual gesture. "They offered me a scholarship to Cambridge," he says, trying to keep his voice even.

Your eyebrows raise slightly in surprise. "Pre-med track?"

"Yes," he confirms, his eyes searching your face for a reaction. "It's what I've always wanted."

You nod slowly, processing the information. "That's incredible," you say softly. "You deserve it."

Nigel's gaze flickers down to your hands, then back up to your eyes. "I'm not sure if I should go."

"Why?" The question slips out before you can stop it.

He shifts slightly on the bench, his fingers drumming against his thigh. "Because of you," he says simply, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

The words hit you like a physical blow. "Me?" you echo, your heart pounding in your chest.

Nigel's eyes lock onto yours, unblinking. "I can't leave you here alone," he explains. "Not with everything that's happened."

You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. "Nigel, I'll be fine," you say, though the words feel hollow even to you. "You can't put your future on hold because of me."

His jaw tightens, and he looks away for a moment before meeting your gaze again. "It's not just about my future," he says quietly. "It's about us."

You take a deep breath, letting the silence stretch between you for a moment. The weight of Nigel's words hangs in the air, and you feel the need to steer the conversation into safer waters.

"So," you say, your voice softer now, "you're still planning on focusing on general surgery?"

Nigel nods, his eyes never leaving yours. "Yes. It's what I've always been drawn to."

You allow a small smile to touch your lips. "You have the steadiness for it," you remark, your gaze dropping to his hands. "And the finger dexterity."

Nigel's eyes darken slightly at your implication, but he doesn't look away. Instead, he shifts closer to you on the bench, his fingers brushing against yours. The memory of his touch lingers in your mind, a sharp contrast to the coldness you often crave.

"You're right," he murmurs, his voice low and intimate. "I've always had a knack for precision."

You feel Nigel’s fingers brush against yours more firmly this time. The area around the pond fades away, leaving just the two of you on that bench. His eyes, dark and intense, hold yours captive.

“You know,” you murmur, trying to keep your voice steady, “we probably shouldn't be out here for too long. Someone might see us.”

Nigel's lips curl into a slight smirk. “Let them,” he says, his voice a soft challenge. "At least they'll know you're mine."

Nigel leans in, his breath warm against your skin. His fingers curl around your waist, pulling you closer. The bench is cold beneath you, but his touch ignites a fire that courses through your veins.

His lips meet yours, firm and insistent. You respond immediately, your hands finding their way to the back of his neck, tangling in his hair. The kiss deepens, and you feel the world around you fade away, leaving just the two of you in this moment.

Nigel's hand slides up your back, pressing you closer to him. Your bodies meld together as his tongue explores your mouth with a hunger that matches your own. The stone bench beneath you is forgotten as you lose yourself in the sensation of his lips, his touch.

You break away for a moment, gasping for air. Nigel's eyes are dark with desire as he looks at you, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

"Mary," he murmurs, his voice thick with emotion. "You're all I think about."

You don't respond with words; instead, you pull him back to you, capturing his lips once more. This time, the kiss is even more intense, more desperate. His hands roam your body, exploring every inch of you with a possessive need that sends shivers down your spine.

Your own hands are just as eager, tracing the lines of his muscles through his shirt. You can feel the tension in his body, the barely contained desire that mirrors your own.

Nigel's hand slips under your shirt, the warmth of his touch contrasting sharply with the cool air around you. His fingers trickle across your flesh, brushing along your hip bone before slowly crossing your lower stomach. Yet where his fingers should have roused goosebumps and pleasure, your stomach rolls with nausea.

You pull back, feeling a sudden wave of nausea. You place a hand on his chest, not quite pushing against him but keeping him away from your mouth should your stomach rebel.

Nigel's eyes immediately fill with concern. "Mary, what's wrong?" he asks, his voice gentle but insistent. He cups your face with one hand, searching your eyes for any sign of what might be troubling you.

You force a small smile, though it doesn't reach your eyes. "I think I'm coming down with a cold," you say softly. "I've been feeling fatigued and having headaches lately. So you should probably hold off on kissing me, I don't want you getting sick because of me."

"Never mind the kissing," Nigel mutters while his brows furrow, he brushes a strand of hair away from your face. You don't feel hot. "You should have told me sooner," he says, his tone almost scolding but laced with worry. "We need to get you back to your dorm so you can rest. This cold certainly isn't helping."

"I am perfectly warm, Nigel." you say as you shake your head slightly, not wanting to move just yet. The thought of going back to the dorm feels suffocating. "I'm fine," you insist, though your voice lacks conviction. "I just need a moment."

Nigel doesn't look convinced, but he doesn't push the issue further. Instead, he pulls you closer to him again, wrapping an arm around your shoulders protectively. You lean into his warmth, grateful for the comfort it brings even as the coldness within you persists.

"We should get you some medicine," Nigel says after a moment, his voice firm with determination. "Something to help with the fatigue and headaches. The nurse will surely have something to help you."

You nod slowly, not having the energy to argue. "Okay," you agree quietly.

Nigel stands up and holds out a hand to help you up from the bench. You take it, feeling a bit unsteady on your feet. He keeps a steadying arm around your waist as he guides you back toward the dorms.

As you walk, Nigel continues to fuss over you, asking if you're feeling dizzy or if you need to sit down for a moment. You assure him that you're fine, though in truth, every step feels like an effort. You were feeling more and more fatigued by the second.

Nigel’s arm remains a steady presence around your waist as you both approach your dorm. The cold air nips at your skin, but it’s the exhaustion that weighs you down, making each step feel heavier than the last. You lean into Nigel, drawing from his strength.

When you reach the entrance, he pushes the door open and guides you inside. The warmth of the building envelops you, but it does little to chase away the coldness within.

Just as you’re about to head towards your room, Mrs. Kensington, the dorm manager, appears in the hallway. Her sharp eyes narrow as she takes in your pale complexion and Nigel’s protective grip.

“Mary, what’s going on?” she asks, her tone a mix of concern and authority.

“She’s coming down with something,” Nigel explains before you can respond. “She’s been feeling fatigued and having headaches. I think she should see the nurse.”

Mrs. Kensington steps closer, her gaze softening slightly as she studies your face. “Thank you for bringing her back, Nigel,” she says, her voice gentler now. “I’ll take it from here.”

Nigel looks reluctant to let go of you, his grip tightening for a moment before he releases you into Mrs. Kensington’s care. “Take care of her,” he says quietly, his eyes meeting yours with a mixture of worry and something deeper.

You give him a small nod, too tired to say much else. Mrs. Kensington wraps an arm around your shoulders, guiding you towards the main part of the school where the nurse's office is located.

As you walk away with Mrs. Kensington, you glance back at Nigel one last time. His eyes follow you until you round the corner and disappear from sight. You feel Mrs. Kensington's arm guiding you through the halls. Each step feels like dragging weights, but you keep moving, leaning into her support.

"You're burning up," she murmurs, her voice a mix of concern and annoyance. "Why didn't you come to me sooner?"

You manage a weak smile, though it doesn't reach your eyes. "Didn't want to bother anyone and I like the warmth.”

Mrs. Kensington gives a soft huff, shaking her head. "You need to take better care of yourself, Mary. This isn't just about you anymore."

Her words sting more than you expect, but you nod, too exhausted to argue. The nurse's office comes into view, and the sterile smell hits your nose as soon as the door swings open.

"Nurse Brown," Mrs. Kensington calls out, her voice firm. "We have a sick student here."

Nurse Brown looks up from her desk, her eyes narrowing as she takes in your appearance. She quickly stands and gestures for you to sit on the examination bed.

"What seems to be the problem?" Nurse Brown asks, pulling out a thermometer.

"She's been feeling fatigued and having headaches," Mrs. Kensington explains before you can open your mouth. "Nigel Colbie was kind enough to help her back to the dorms. I think she might be coming down with something."

Nurse Brown nods, placing the thermometer under your tongue. You sit there quietly, feeling the cold metal against your lips. The room is too bright, too sterile, making your head pound even more.

The thermometer beeps, and Nurse Brown frowns as she checks the reading. "You're running a fever," she says, her tone matter-of-fact. "We'll need to get some fluids in you and keep an eye on your temperature."

Mrs. Kensington pats your shoulder gently before stepping back. "I'll check in on you later," she promises before leaving the room.

Nurse Brown helps you lie down on the bed, adjusting the pillow under your head. "Just rest for now," she instructs, her voice soothing. "I'll bring some water and a test kit, we don't want strep running amuck."

You close your eyes, letting the exhaustion wash over you. The cool sheets against your skin are a welcome relief, and for a moment, you feel a semblance of peace.

You lie there, the exhaustion pulling you deeper into the bed. Nurse Brown returns with a small tray, setting it on the table beside you. She hands you a cup of water and you sip it slowly, feeling the cool liquid soothe your dry throat.

“Open wide,” Nurse Brown instructs, holding up the swab for the strep throat test. You comply, opening your mouth as she gently swabs the back of your throat. The sensation makes you gag slightly, but you manage to hold still until she’s done.

“There we go,” she says, placing the swab into a small vial. “This will take a few minutes to process.”

She sits down beside you, pulling out a clipboard with a series of forms. “While we wait, I need to ask you a few questions about your recent health.”

You nod, feeling too tired to speak.

“Have you been experiencing any other symptoms besides fatigue and headaches?” she asks, her pen poised over the paper.

“I have been a little nauseous.”

“Any changes in appetite or sleep patterns?”

You shrug slightly. “I’ve been sleeping more than usual.”

Nurse Brown makes a note on her clipboard. “And when was your last period?”

The question catches you off guard. You mentally calculate the days in your head and realize with a jolt that it’s late. You hesitate before answering, your voice barely above a whisper.

“It’s late.”

Nurse Brown looks up from her clipboard, her eyes narrowing slightly. “How late?”

You swallow hard, feeling a knot form in your stomach. “About two weeks.”

She makes another note on her clipboard, her expression thoughtful. “I do not find that surprising, all the girls’ stress levels have been elevated in recent months given what’s happened. I'm sure it is nothing to worry about."

Date Published: 7/28/24

Last Edit: 7/28/24

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[patrochillesvibes]

O and I have an other question how do you think Achilles will react once he finds out about the fact that Patroclus had slept Deidameia. Because I do believe Patroclus haven’t to Achilles about it .

<3 <3 <3

Ah, the single plot point in TSoA I disagree with.

🎵How do you solve a problem like Pyrrhus🎶

So if we’re all gonna suck Homer’s dick, then let’s all get on the same page that Deidamia isn’t in the Iliad. Or the Odyssey. You also gotta be careful with any source material mentioning Deidamia as most of this content was part of a smear campaign by the Italians coughDantecough.

Pyrrhus is such a random character if you think about it. Achilles was not married, otherwise Agamemnon wouldn’t keep trying to get him to marry his seemingly endless supply of daughters. Pyrrhus isn’t labeled as a bastard, but what else could he be? Achilles would’ve had to have knocked up some chick.

And isn’t it strange that Achilles would do this? I don’t want to say it’s not in character, but it seems strange compared to his prophecy-focused life. (Also, Patroclus and Achilles don’t have little bastards running around the camp, so do we really believe they’re fucking the slaves? If they’re fucking the slaves, where are the babies? Birth control and abortions were not that good in 1250 BCE. But I’m getting super off topic now.)

This is why I personally believe Achilles found a random baby, adopted it, and had Mother feed him ambrosia.

I’m very passionate about ^this headcanon of mine.

Now back to TSoA…

First off, remember that Patroclus is a LIAR. He is not just full of bologna, he’s made out of bologna. He wants us to believe he’s a feminist? Anti-war? A doctor? Achilles is perfect? Patroclus PLEASE!

But you have to respect the lies because TSoA is essentially an autobiography and lying is like the first law of autobiography writing.

I’d also like to point out the clever literary trick at the end of TSoA. The book ends with Patroclus and Thetis chatting about Achilles. She says “Speak, then” to get Patroclus to share his memories. Thus, the book is not so much an account of his life, but essentially all the memories he had to share with her. He wants to show her how glorious her son was, the side she never got to see, the human nature she shunned, Achilles’ mortality. So of course he’s going to highlight the good, even enhance it as well as downplay or even lie about the bad.

But back to your question…

What happened at Skyros? Patroclus wants us to believe a lot of non-con was going on. I low-key have a very messed up theory about what actually happened and why it happened, but I don’t want to get into it rn a blogger on here might be unhappy bcs of a related ask I coincidentally just sent them. So for simplicity's sake, let’s assume that the non-con did indeed happen. I think he told Achilles a half-truth. Something to the effect of mentioning having comforted Deidamia and given her an official farewell (of the husbandly kind) on his behalf. He used a lot of double-meaning words to allow Achilles to interpret as he pleased.

And how did he interpret what Patroclus told him? First he was relieved that he would not have to deal with her again. Then he was his usual dumb blonde self (Patroclus calls this 'trusting', Pat pls) and took the words at face value. And I wouldn't blame him for it. When traumatic things happen to you, you do what you can to cope.

And please don’t take this as victim blaming or non-con denial, but the last lines of Chapter 13 never sat quite right with me.

Sorry to keep harping on the lying. Part of me thinks the scene with Deidamia was either a hallucination-false memory sequence to reinforce that patrochilles is 2-bodies-1-soul -what happens to Achilles happens to Pat; and part of me thinks this was Pat’s sly way of showing Thetis how she hurt Achilles by enabling the non-con. Sadly, we'll never know the truth, so it's up to you what you want to believe.

I hope this rambling rant answered your question. Thank you for the ask! I LOVE LOVE LOVE The Song of Achilles and am capable of ranting and raving about it for hours at a time 😘

[stellar-constellations]

An Alliance (Part 6)

        Fem! Spy! (Y/N) x Yuri Briar

        Parts: One, two, three, four, five, current part, seven, eight, nine, ten (to be continued when Spy x Family has more Yuri content!)

        (Y/N) is given her own backstory that is important for the story!

        The setting for this story is based off West and East Germany's (because Spy x Family is heavily based off Germany in the 1940-1950) laws (or at least replicated to the best of my abilities since it's unknown what time period Spy x Family is exactly in, we'll go with 1950 for the sake of this story). 

        Historically-accurate women misogyny and mistreatment! Only small comments and historically-accurate laws (replicated to the best of my ability). 

        The story, plot, and settings might not match up to the Spy x Family manga as it's not completed and the manga is still being crafted.

        This series contains spoilers for the manga and anime!

        My dad read the Westalis newspaper where the headline was: “Ostania Threatens Westalis with Nuclear Warfare!” as me and my siblings played outside. He was outside on the porch watching us play in the sun. It was springtime, a nice and warm day where there were lots of clouds in the sky that helped with shade. My mom's nowhere to be seen, she's been gone for a while now. She left us when we were young so we didn't have a two income household, it made it hard to pay bills or cook dinners; but it taught me a lot about the real world, so I'm a glad I can see the bright side of it. 

        I had the rest of the day off from working at the bakery. The lady owning it told me to enjoy myself since things were really starting to look bright for us ever since Westalis and Ostania made that peace pact with us. I agreed, taking my paycheck and running home to go play outside with my siblings.

        My two younger brothers both chased my older sister around, playing tag and enjoying their youth. My older brother sat in the background (he wasn't much for socializing with us).

        My older sister had a pure heart and loved to spoil me as I was her only little sister. My two younger brothers were both troublemakers that very often got away with stuff (somehow nobody ever looked their way when things went south). My older brother never liked to hang out with us much, but I know he cares about us (he's just in his "I'm independent and don't need no family" phase).

        I don’t know why, but I decided to look up at the sky that day. Maybe because I wanted to see how long it'd be until sunset, but I found myself looking at something else. The clouds parted a path for a weird yellow thing in the sky. I gawked at it in amazement, before smiling and running to my dad in uneven zig-zags as any child does when they've not properly mastered balancing.

        “Dad! Dad!” I called out. “Is that a shooting star?” I questioned, pointing up to the sky. 

        He looked up at the sky, trying to see what I was talking about before his eyes widened.

        “Oh no.” He muttered, utter fear in his eyes and voice. “Everyone, get inside now!” he shouted.

        I looked at him confused, looking up at the sky in curiosity.

        “Why?” I questioned.

        “That’s a nuke!” he exclaimed, grabbing my arm as everyone ran inside due to his panicked voice.

        I quickly squirmed out of his grasp, scared of his sudden change of attitude. I didn't understand what war was; if anything, I thought it was good! Why else would neighboring kids be running around and playing games such as "cops and robbers" or "army"? Why would kids be playing a game that glamorizes the death and suffering of others? 

        “N-no! I have to make a wish, otherwise it won’t come true! That’s what sissy said.” I spoke, making a dumb excuse.

        “We don’t have time, come here!” he spoke, lunging for my arm. 

        I quickly retracted, turning and running away with the excuse of “at least let me get my chalk!” 

        I was scared and confused of his sudden change of attitude. It won’t hurt me, I’ve never heard of shooting stars crashing into Earth. I was set it was a star, not a nuke (not that I was even aware of what nukes were at the time). Besides, the star will be tiny! When it falls, I can pick it up and keep it in my pocket as a pet. That's how naive I was as a child.

        “(Y/N)!” my father screamed, frustrated.

        I turned around, seeing how the star went from over my to hitting something I couldn’t see from far behind the house. I looked at it, shocked at the sky flashed red for a second, before it returned normal. A blackish gray mushroom cloud appeared behind the house, growing big by the second.

        “Woah.” I spoke, shocked.

        It took a second, staring amazed at it, before I was hit with powerful winds as the sound of glass broke and the sound of trees getting ripped from their weakened roots. I barley heard the screaming of people before I was taken in the powerful wave of wind as my ears started to hurt. My body slammed against a tree, knocking the wind out of me as I hit my head. 

        The wind stopped and I fell to the ground, not defying gravity anymore as I cried, covering my ears. I could barely even hear my own cries, just the sound of a church bell that hurt the headache I was immediately forming. I smelt something awful as I realized my vision was completely gone.

        I held my ears, desperate to hear the ringing stop, and cried, curling myself into a ball from the pain. I don’t know how long I sat there before I tried standing up, swaying side to side as I took a blind step forward, only to trip on something thick and fall onto my knees. I crawled around, desperate to find a sense of familarity, before feeling a sharp pain stab into my hands. I wept louder, not knowing what hurt me as my vision didn't approve. 

        I stayed on the ground longer, waiting for something, anything, to happen. Eventually, I regained my vision from this light, but darkness. It was black and white, I really can't explain it in words. It's just not something you can explain. 

        I looked down at my hands and noticed blood that came from my ears. I ran to go tell my dad, but saw my house crushed, barely standing. I looked around in the rubble, trying to see if my dad or any of my siblings were alright. 

        I saw a hand from the rubble and notice it was my dad’s from the size and skin tone. I tried to move the bricks and debris but couldn’t. I tried to tug his hand but to no avail. I gave up, sitting down on the ground next to the hand and resulted to screaming and crying, hoping somebody would hear and save my family and I.

        I don’t know how long I was there, crying as my ears rang miserably and how my body ached, but I eventually heard shouts and the sounds of heavy tires and machinery, and looked up. People in green and huge, huge tanks came around.

        I realized it was the military and cried, standing up and running to them.

        “Oh, shit. A kid’s alive!” someone shouted. 

        They had a terrifying gas mask on their face as they looked at me.

        “My dad! My family! They’re trapped under the house!” I cried, pointing. "You gotta help them. I can't do it on my own!"

        The man looked over and sighed, kneeling down.

        “I’m sorry, kid, but we can’t save them. You can't be there, the Ostanian army is here.” He spoke as another man came up with a gas mask in his hand and on his face. “Here, wear this. It’ll help you breathe.” He spoke, taking the mask.

        “It’s a miracle we got here when we did. Ten minutes more out here in this radiation and you could’ve died, that, or the Ostanians...” The other man spoke, muttering that last part to himself.

        Even though I was seven at the time, I knew what death was; however, I didn’t know how gruesome it was. I didn’t know how cruel people could be. When I thought of death, I thought of old people with gray hair dying peaceful in bed, not young people robbed of their lives and lying in their childhood home's bricks and their own blood surrounding them.

        “W-what’s gonna happen now?” I questioned. 

        “The military has a shelter going on right now. We’ll bring you there. After that, the state government is gonna take care of you. Probably put you in an orphanage.” The first man spoke.

        And yet, even though I was seven, I had no idea how kids could live without a parental figure. I had no idea how someone could live in a house full of strangers. I had no idea how to accept their death, or my own that would probably be nearby.

        The tank’s hatch opened up, revealing another guy in a gas mask.

        “Then after we’re going to go kill those Ostanian fuckers for this!” he bellowed loudly, obviously angry.

        "Rancher, could you shut the hell up?! A kid is present!” the second man yelled back at the third one.

        A white van pulled up, their windows tinted, iron prison bars covering them as the door opened.

        “Hurry up and get into the van. Keep your gas mask on too while you’re in there for extra safety.” The first man spoke, pushing me into the van. 

        I entered with my head racing and my heart pounding. There wasn’t many survivors they’ve found. Five people out of the sixty seated bus must’ve been here. Some napped while others cried, and some stared outside of the window with disappoint and rage to see their homes and families gone.

        I sat down alone, deciding to be another one of those people who bottle up their emotions and stare out the window as their head bangs against it from the bus’ movements. 

        I’m going to destroy Ostania for everything they’ve done to us. I thought to myself. They'll atone for what they've done.         .         .         It wasn’t long after that nuke dropping that I found myself in a large shelter where alive civilians and the military were huddled down. I saw those guys once and thanked them for saving me, to which they said it was their jobs. 

        I was still mad at losing everything I had in just thirty seconds, so I decided to try and find a way into the military to help Ostanias downfall. Despite my many attempts to get into the military, they declined me each time for being under 18 and for being a girl.

        I slammed my head on the metal table, ignoring the sting on my forehead as a military officer came up to me.

        “Hey, Net.” I sighed, lifting my head.

        “You keep doing that every time you don’t get in you’re gonna kill yourself before even getting your application accepted.” He spoke, taking a bite from his food.

        “It’s no use. I’m a girl” I groaned. 

        “You’re still trying to get in?” he questioned.

        “Not try, I am gonna get in.” I stated defensively.

        “Here.” Net spoke, sliding me a piece of paper.

        “What is it?” I questioned, picking up the paper. 

        I recognized the form instantly from stealing it so many damn times. 

        “Woah. Dude, why are you giving me this? You could be in serious trouble!” I whispered.

        “Instead of remaining calm and peaceful like how you'd normally fill the form out, just fucking obliterate the thing.” Nat spoke.

        “Oh.” I muttered. “Thanks?” 

        “No problem. Hurry up and get to Gerald. But if anyone asks, then you stole it…again.” Nat ordered.

        “Yes, sir!” I chuckled, standing up from my chair and stealing a pen from Nat’s pocket.

        I ran to the military counselor’s tent, sitting down and quickly filling out the form with the most unprofessional and colorful vocabulary I never even dared to utter alone to myself. I reread it proudly, determined to get that position in the Westalis military. I opened the tent and sat down, seeing the military counselor was there with one of the squad captains. 

        "Excuse me, sir and sir." I acknowledged, bowing to show my respect. 

        I handed the paper to the counselor as he groaned, already knowing why I'm here and what this paper meant.

        "Yet again, you show up in my office like the stubborn little brat you are. I told you, children, and especially girls, aren't welcome in the Westalis mil–" Gerald gasped loudly, his face going pale as he stared at the paper with white-shot eyes. 

        He quickly flipped the page, and the next page, rereading the papers over and over again. 

        "Y-you..." he spluttered. "The audacity of you!" he shouted, grabbing a nearby yard stick and slapping my wrist with it.

        "Oi! You fucking wad of earwax!" I yelp, retracting my hand back as his face went even paler.

        "In front of the recruiter too?! Brats like you have no chance into the Westalis military!" Gerald spoke.

        "You bet! I'm done with your fucking shenanigans! You better count all your lucky pennies because if I don't get that position in the military, I'm gonna sneak my way into them tanks and rapid fire your tent to match my hometown!" I shouted, slamming my hands on his desk and taking his yard stick, slapping it against his wrists instead of mine.

        I ripped the paper out of Gerald's hands, giving it to the recruiter instead. 

        "Take it. You read it instead, you're the boss; not this leprechaun." I spat.        

        The recruiter kept a straight face before taking the paper. He read it, unamused and blank faced as I impatiently tapped my foot.

        "Twenty-six times I've entered this tent within two months, and no results. I'm not going to stop until I join your squad." I stated, standing my ground as I stood straight and tall, hoping to seem determined enough to make up for all my weak strength and sour attitude. "I know that I don't look like much, nor do I act it. I'm seven and a quarter. I'm not very strong or tall, and I've barely lived long enough to even be a pre-teen, but I'm smart enough to understand the government and give advice of a seventy-year old, and I swear to whatever God there is that there's no fucker in Ostania that going to want to cross me after they see what I'll do with their soldiers." I spoke. "So if you could give me a chance and prove myself to you, that'd be really fucking fantastic." I spoke, allowing the colorful word to brighten my sentence.

        "You're seven?" the recruiter spoke.

        "And a quarter." I spoke. "I can be useful! I'm fast and stealthy and my size helps me hide good. Ostania would never expect a girl to fight in the military, let alone a kid." I smiled. 

        "You realize you'll most certainly die within two days, maximum?" the recruiter questioned.

        "Sometimes you just gotta jump to know what's there." I replied, determination filling every ounce of my soul and body.

        The recruiter stared at me for a second, before looking at Gerald. 

        "Do you have this kid's other application forms?" he questioned.

        "You're not seriously going to allow this brat? Out of everyone?!" Gerald questioned.

        "Shut the hell up, Gerald." I snapped, slapping his wrist with the ruler. "Ain't nobody gonna join; everyone's too afraid to die or they're suffering from some major PTSD. You aren't gonna find a gal as determined as me to get this job." 

        "Give me her recent form." The recruiter demanded. 

        Gerald mumbled alienated words under his breath as he searched through his desk, pulling out a paper packet I gave him last week. The recruiter scanned through the papers for a good three minutes, before setting the papers down. 

        "You're recruited. Welcome, (Y/N) (L/N), to the Westalis Military." The recruiter spoke, a small smile on his face as he held out his hand. 

        I shook it proudly, cackling as Gerald tried his best not to break down to tears in the background. 

        .

        .

        A month went by with me in the military. It felt longer than it was, and it was absolutely exhausting. Just because I was a kid doesn't mean that the recruiter took any mercy on me. 

        ("You've got the body of a crazy kid, and the mind of an even crazier adult.") The recruiter once told me. ("If you give up now, I'll kill you myself for making me look like a fool to have you join us.")

        I experienced many bombings, tank firings, gunshots, and many comrades die. Nat and Hujo (that second man that helped me when Nat found me in Luwen, Eastern Westalis) both died in combat, their bulletproof vests being false advertising. I saw ####, a boy from my hometown, here. 

        I feel like I should’ve been happy to see someone I know alive, but me and #### never really got along well, even before the war. While he was seven years older and a quiet kid, he was a total pushover and aimed to please people. I was the rowdy and opinionated kid, ready to kick someone in the stomach and shout insults if they decided to pick on me. 

        We both lived in the small poor town of Luwen, the more poorer side of Westalis, but we made it work. And despite our many differences, we both had one common goal: to appease our parents. It amazed me how I never once saw him cry despite everything we've been through. He was older, taller, and stronger than me—something I was extremely envious of—and he became a squad commander after too many deaths, of my damn squad!

        I hated him for being tough. I hated him for being an amazing liar. And I despised that he knew how to keep his emotions to himself, while I frequently lashed out and cried. I was predictable; and he was a closed-book, and it pissed me off beyond belief. 

        Rations were getting smaller and smaller, but it wasn’t too much of a problem for soldiers since they kept falling like dominoes, but it was a problem for the survivors we kept finding. The survivors came with missing fingers, broken limbs, and charred faces, it was almost like Ostania wanted the civilians of Westalis to suffer, and that just pissed us off further. 

        I sighed, resting my head on the cool metal table. My body ached from the training I’m out to before having to be dispatched out for another rescue mission. 

        “You should eat that shit. You’re getting glares.”

        I sighed, lifting my head.

        “Sup, Rancher?” I spoke. 

        Rancher was off-duty for a few days after Nat and Hujo died. Rancher was best friends with the two of them for years, so he really took it to heart when they died. He was the loud and rowdy guy in the tank when Nat and Hujo found me. He looks like total shit too. His tanned skin got paler and his brown eyes seemed dull and darker then before, the death of his two buddies really took a toll on him.

        “You look like shit.” I admitted.

        “Not like you look any better.” He chuckled.

        “I’m still growing, so I have a chance at being tall and pretty; you’re too old to keep growing and you still look like a rat’s ass, just worse.” I laughed.

        “The bigger the bark, the smaller the dog is.” He smiled, causing me to glare at him.

        “Yeah? W-well…the stupider you are…the uglier!” I retorted, having no idea what I said as he laughed.

        “Alright. Well, hurry up eating. I’m going to join the rescue mission before I get kicked out.” Rancher spoke.

        “You sure, dude? I can come up with something for you. Like, something you ate went bad and you have food poisoning or some shit like that.” I suggested.

        “Nah. I figured Hujo would be pissed off and Nat would be scolding me if I stayed in bed any longer.” Rancher smiled sadly.

        “Take it easy, man. I’ll look out for you during the mission.” I spoke, patting his hand on the table before quickly shoveling my food down my throat, ignoring the plain and slightly repulsive taste it had. 

        I took a large sip of water to drown out the taste, then stood up.

        “Rightie-oh!” I spoke, faking a British accent to cheer Rancher up. “Shall we go?”

        “Yeah, sure.” He stood up—stretching and complaining about back problems—and walked out of the shelter’s roof to join the other soldiers. 

        The squad was—unfortunately—led by ####, who took the fake name “Roland” from Luwen to join the military. I was already in a sour mood thanks to #### and we haven’t even left!          .         .         A total fail. That’s what the mission was. Rancher was down, clutching his arm as he looked down at the wound. He had a hole in his chest and another in his forearm. The gun must’ve not been sighted since they missed all vital organs. 

        What an amateur… I thought, stuffing the wound in his chest with gauze.

        “The bullet is stuck deep in there. It’s not something I can remove, but the nurses at camp will get it. Show me your arm.” I demanded. 

        I grabbed his arm, slapping his other hand that tried to stop me.

        “Kid, you gotta get out of here. They’ll find you soon.” Rancher spoke, taking heavy breaths.

        “Shut the hell up, Rancher. You and your big ass mouth. I know they’ll come here!” I snapped. 

        “Then fucking abort the mission. You shouldn’t even be in this whole mess.” Rancher sighed.

        “Don’t try and give me final words like you’re dying; you’re going to live and I’ll make sure of it.” I spoke, determined as I stuff gauze into his arm, causing him to hiss at the pain.

        “You need to live and do whatever you can to complete that goal you decided to join the military for.” Rancher argued.

        I heard a branch snapped and quickly grabbed my gun, listening and shooting into the trees, as someone screamed and fell onto the ground not to far from here. 

        “Shit. I’m low on ammo.” I sighed.

        “Just get out of here.” Rancher ordered.

        “No.” I defied. “If I die, then I die. But I won’t. That mission can be postponed 'cause we’re both going to live. Now stop bitching.” I spoke, wrapping his arm with bandages to hold the gauze. 

        “You’re stubborn.” He growled.

        “You’re stupid.” I retorted. “Can you stand?” I questioned.

        “If I stand, I’ll pass out.” He spoke. 

        I nodded, grabbing his walkie-talkie from his belt and switching it to the channel our military agreed on using.

        “I need medical assistance. Soldier was shot twice and I’m low on ammo. His wounds have been caused and wrapped but he needs professional assistance. Over.” I spoke, repeating the line over and over until I heard a voice.

        “Affirmative. What’s the coordinates? Over.” The voice questioned.

        “Uh. Shit, probably...” I pulled out the map I had, fumbling with it. “Like... like 50°46'46.8" North 10°00'09.1" East? Over.” I spoke into the walkie-talkie.

        (Author note: These are random coordinates I found in Germany and are no means accurate.) 

        “Negative. We can’t send anyone there, over.” He spoke.

        “Well why the fuck not? Over!” I questioned.

        “Enemy territory. Abort the premises with or without the soldier. Over.” They spoke.

        “We’re in enemy territory because you fucking sent us in this mess, fucker! Over!” I hissed.

        The line went silent before speaking: “Abort the mission with or without the solider. Over.” 

        “This is (Y/N) (L/N)! I can’t carry him! Rancher is down, over!” I informed.

        “Oh, shit. You’re the kid? The seven-year-old kid?” the radio spoke, surprised that he didn’t even say “over”.

        “Yes! And I can’t get Rancher to a safe place with my size and strength. I need either back up or medical assistance! Over.” I hissed.

        “…Leave Rancher and get the hell out of there. War isn’t something a kid like yourself should be in. Over.” The man spoke.

        “I'm sick of everything telling me what I should be doing! I chose this path. And I’m choosing to save Rancher, and I swear to god if you don’t help us I’ll haunt you when I’m dead because mine and Rancher’s blood will be on your hands. Over.” I spat. 

        The line went silent for a bit, before it picked up: “We’ll see what we can do. Over.” 

        I sighed, grabbing my gun and unloading the magazine chamber to check how much ammo I have. 

        Five bullets. As long as I don’t run into any trouble, I can make it. I thought to myself.

        I grabbed Rancher’s gun to see how much ammo he has, not too surprised when I saw he had blew through it all. He's always been unsparing in our resources, whether it was food or ammo.

        “You can leave. They said they’ll probably do something, so I’ll be fine.” Rancher sighed, his face pale as sweat ran down it, whether from the heavy uniform we’re wearing in this heat or the blood loss.

        “Probably." I shrugged. "However, I told you I ain’t leaving. I told you I got your back, man.” 

        There’s no way I can turn back and leave, that’s how Nat and Hujo died. 

        “And do you have an off switch? Can you just shut up before the enemy finds us?” I sighed.

        “Can you not be so stubborn?” Rancher retorted. “And I’m not the one that was yelling in the walkie-talkie two minutes ago.” 

        “And?” I dared, causing Rancher to roll his eyes.

        I heard a branch snap and immediately raised up my gun.

        “Wait! It’s Roland! I’m on your side.” 

        #### stepped out of the bushes, causing me to groan and roll my eyes.

        #### looked like shit. He had a small stubble and had large eyeballs, obviously his sanity has deployed ever since the war officially set off, but so has mine, I supposed.

        “You’re so damn lucky I didn’t shoot you.” I sighed, placing my gun down on the dirt.

        “Yeah…” #### sighed, relieved that I actually didn’t. “Is Rancher okay?” 

        “He got shot twice; in his chest and arm. The bullets are too deep to get by hand, we need medical assistance. I’m afraid if we don’t get help, either he’d die from blood loss.” I sighed. 

        “Smart thinking. Good job.” #### spoke.

        I ignored the praise and the fluffy feeling in my chest, glad to have been seen as useful and smart, but I don’t want to here praise from that prick.

        “Yeah. I know from the med class I had to take to join...” I muttered. 

        Not like you didn’t take that class too. I thought, sarcastic.

        Gun fire broke out nearby as you can hear stomping from not to far off.

        “Crap…” #### muttered.

        “Pick him up and let’s go!” I whispered harshly.

        “I’m not going to be able to carry him with the heavy uniform and run and shoot.” #### stated.

        “Of course you can, you have to save him. That’s why you’re here!” I whispered, ignoring the tears that started to build up in my eyes from the hopeless feeling in my chest. 

        “We have to go.” #### spoke, calm and collected despite the gunfire and steps getting louder.

        “No.” I hissed.

        “(Y/N)!” Rancher hissed. “Fucking go. I would never forgive myself if I’m the cause of your death; not when you have so much left to do.” 

        “B-but… I can’t abandon you…” I whimpered.

        “I want you to listen to me. Leave and go do whatever you want with your life. Please. Do something I’ve never done and continue your legacy.” He chuckled.

        “No….” I muttered, unsure of my words.

        “We have to go!” #### whispered harsh.

        “No!” I hissed back.

        #### stared at me for a good second, our eyes rivaling each other before he swiftly scooping me up, balancing me on his shoulder, and running.

        “Hey! Let go!” I squirmed. “We have to go back and get Rancher.” By now, the panic and hopelessly fully took over, causing the dam in my eyes to break. “Please. We have to go back…” I whispered, my bottom lip trembling as more tears fell.

        “Sorry. I’m sorry.” #### spoke, his voice shaking.

        I could tell it was hard for him to leave Rancher too. Despite not knowing Rancher well, he was ####’s teammate, an ally, an amazing tanker with an amazing sense of humor, and a human. But for me, most importantly, he was my friend, and he reminded me of myself; stubborn and ready to fight no matter what. It’s hard to trade one’s life, even if they asked for it. 

        “I’m sorry, (Y/N).” He repeated. “I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything for Rancher, or our families. I can’t change the past to where I was stronger or where this war never happened, but I can at least change the present. And I want us to live.” 

        “I hate you.” I whimpered. “I hate how tough you are. How calm you are. And how you always know what to do and say. You stupid pushover and golden goose. I hate how you’re always Hercules.” I whined softly as more tears came down my face as I listened to the gunshots and yelling fading away as #### ran.

        “I’m not as perfect as you think.” He chuckled poorly.

        His tone surprised me, and I turned around to see his face. His blue eyes crying out their own sorrow as he focused his eyes ahead. I focused my attention back to the blurry ground as I allowed myself to cry some more.

        Sometimes. Me and #### are different people; stubborn and smart, strong and weak. Other times, we’re the same person with the same goal; trying to appease our parents, or just trying to survive.

        He stopped, placing me down and catching his breath as I sat on the ground, tears still in my eyes.

        “You’re not injured, right?” he questioned.

        “No.” I muttered. “Why’d you join the military?” I questioned.

        The question came out of nowhere, yes. But I wanted to know why #### joined. What could his reason be? 

        “When Ostania crossed the border. In just 60 seconds, everything I cared about was taken away from me. All that was left, was thing I despised. And that’s more than enough for me to pick up a gun and destroy Ostania.” He admitted.

        “We’re pretty similar…. Same reason I’m here.” I chuckled, wiping the tears out of my eyes.

        “How’d you even get in?” he questioned. "You're too young. I had to fake my age and name."

        “I had to do a lot of pestering and cussing.” I laughed. 

        A shuffle in the bushes was heard, causing me to stand up and #### to draw his gun as someone appeared out of the brushes. It was a man with curly brown hair and circular glasses and a piercing on his left ear. 

        “Bwah! Time-out! Time-out! Stop! Don’t shoot!”

        Did that grown-ass man really just “time out?”

        Surprisingly, #### held his fire, sizing up the man.

        “You’re Ostanian Infantry, yeah?” #### spoke.

        “Gah! Westalis soldiers—is that a kid...?” he muttered the last part confused as he held his hands in the air.

        I glared at him and pulled my own gun out, causing him to begin freaking out again.

        “Where is your gun?” #### asked.

        “I don’t have one! I’m unarmed! I surrender!” he quickly spoke, then sighed. “I… look, I deserted. I just couldn’t take it anymore. But I got lost and have been wandering around in these mountains for two whole days… so please can you give me something to eat?!” he shouted, putting his hands together and begging.

        “I don’t have rations to spare on dead men. Say goodbye.” #### spoke calmly.

        “Wait! Please! I’m begging you! I don’t wanna die having never been with a woman!” he screamed loudly.

        Men are so simple minded… I thought to myself, yet chuckled as #### did.

        “All right. I can give you one cigarette.” #### spoke. 

     ��  “Oh, thanks.” The man spoke, taking a cigarette has #### lit it.

        “I didn’t know you smoked.” I spoke up.

        “There‘a a lot of things I do that you don’t know.” #### commented.

        “Oh, okay, creep. Like that wasn’t weird.” I commented myself.

        “What’s with the kid?” the man asked.

        “Are you the one holding the gun? No? Don’t question it.” I huffed, holding up my gun.

        “Sorry, sorry!” he quickly wailed.

        Soon enough, #### and the man started to click together, a weird combination in this war.

        If I go back now, I wonder if Rancher would still be alive, if unspotted from the Ostanian military, that is. I thought to myself, sighing as I drew my focus back to the conversation.

        “But you know, they actually do some interesting research at that university!” the man spoke. “Like, they got all these test subjects and showed ‘em a film of a guy getting slapped, right? And they showed signs of discomfort ‘cause their brains emphasized with the guy’s pain. And that means its human nature to avoid violence.”

        “But the thing is they ran the experiment again, and this time they told the subjects that the guy gets slapped by his lover because he cheated on her. So what do you think happened? When they watched it, the subjects brains showed signs of pleasure!” he explained.

        I think if I saw someone get slapped, I’d laugh without even knowing the reason. I thought to myself. Maybe if I convince #### to slap this guy, we can see. I thought impulsively.

        “I mean, doesn’t it freak you out? They have no idea if they’re being told the truth, but once the idea’s in their head, they do a complete 180°. Weird, right?” the man spoke.

        I feel like this is going somewhere. But I can understand what he’s saying. I thought to myself. I looked at my gun, feeling the weight in my hands and the heavy burden it was to carry it. 

        It’s be easier to drop it and walk away. I can barely hold this weight on my own. Someone else can; someone stronger and less sensitive. 

        I looked at ####, who seemed slightly frustrated. 

        “Just say what you’re trying to say!” he ordered.

        “I’m just saying, isn’t it stupid? This whole war between East and West, it’s all the result of some diplomatic fiasco. So why is it that all of us worthless peona gotta be the ones to clean us their mess?” he sighed. “They tell us to hate each other. So we fight. And then we die. It’s the most pointless thing in the world.” 

        I didn’t know it at the time, but I was playing as a small cog in the machine—we all were. But the things with machines, is that they’re specially designed and assigned certain tasks. But once a cog is lost, the machine cannot perform its chores unless another cog takes the place of the previous one. It's easy to replace an old, broken cog with a new, naive one.

        To put it in simple terms, the government, the war, needs us in order to win, and when we die, we’re easily replaced by another solider. 

        I’m surprised I’m not dead yet. I thought to myself. I have no major injuries and I still have a comrade with me—I doubt most of our soldiers have that. 

        All of the soldiers sent on this rescue mission are probably dead (with the exception of me and ####). 

        “Yeah, except it’s you Ostanians that started this war.” #### pointed out.

        “In the East, they say it was the West that started it.” The man stated. “They say that first bombing of Luwen was a false flag operation. They’re even rumors Westalis got operatives from some other country to incite the Ostanian Army was doing it.” 

        I turned my head to ####, curious of his reaction.

        I’m an open-minded person when it comes to politics or law as long as it doesn’t go against my moral code. I’d rather research to the ends of the Earth for the truth rather than believe in a simple lie. I’ll take this man’s words and place it on the back burner for when the time is right, to where I can find the truth, whether it’d be today or tomorrow or years from now.

        Some Shakesphere I am, I thought to myself, watching has #### held his gun to the man.

        “That’s just blatant propaganda to get your country off the hook!” #### shouted. 

        “Yeah! Yeah, right, of course it is! I’m just saying, how could a bunch of foot soldiers like us know the truth about anything?” the man immediately spoke, putting his hands in the air to prove no threat as I groaned.

        #### isn’t really all that open-minded, though.

        “That day! That bombing! Those bombs killed every last one of my friends! There’s your truth!” #### spoke.

        “Our families died in that bombing. Whether Westalis or Ostania started it, it’s no way for anyone to die.” I spoke, closely eyeing ####’s finger as he held it on the trigger.

        “Well, I’m in the exact same boat!” he spoke.

        #### gritted his teeth and kicked the man down to the ground, his glasses getting knocked off his face. Just then, gunfire from the bushes danced in the wind, causing me to yelp and duck to the ground, helpless as a I felt a searing pain in my side and leg. A bullet hit ####’s helmet, but luckily it didn’t pierce it.

        “Gah! The Ostanian army squad that’s been chasing me! You just had to try and shoot me and give our position away!” the man complained. “Well, no way in hell I’m letting them catch me! See ya! Thanks for the cigarettes, I guess.” He yelled, running away.

        I crawled to #### using my body to protect his down body. 

        His ears are probably ringing since the metal helmet just got hit. I thought. 

        “If you can run, go away. I’ll be fine.” I spoke through the gunfire.

        #### huffed, getting up on his knees and picking me and his gun up. 

        “I’m not gonna abandon you! Not when I have the power to save you!” #### yelled through the bullets.

        I sighed.

        He’s just as stubborn as me. But he should really let me die. It’s not like there’s anyone alive who’d miss me, and ####’s using me as a replacement for the friends he couldn’t save. So there’s no point for me to live, and all I’ve been is useless and problematic. I couldn’t save any of my friends, family, comrades, or even myself.

        “Thanks for being such a suck-up.” I spoke, wincing at each step he took since it threw my body around like a rag doll, hurting my wounds.

        “Let’s save the tears for when we get back alive.” He gruffed.         .         .

        What am I doing? Getting emotional like this? I hate getting emotional. I thought, snapping out of my thoughts and rubbing the tears from my eyes. I guess that's another reason I quit being a spy. I thought. 

        I don't really like to use violence anymore. I'll fight and shoot if I have to, but I don't like turning to it unless it's necessary. I'm afraid if I pick up a gun again, then all of my anger and sadness would return and control my actions just like it did before.

        ...That's stupid. I can't believe I just lied to myself in my own head.

        The real reason I don't want to fight is because it hurts more than anyone can imagine. When people see war movies or read the books, they always think "yeah, I can do that." But once the first bullet flies, they all follow. When the sky has turn gray from tank smoke and fires from the bombings. When the bullets fall from the sky like rain and you're ordered to engage in battle; you don't want to. Who would want to?

        Nobody wants to actually die. When they're in the face of danger, they're looking for a way to fight or a way to flee. When you're actually experiencing something as stressful and traumatic as that, you realize that every plan you've been brainstorming inside that little head of yours had ran away with your bravery and rationality. The only thing you'll be thinking of is a way out, a way away from the men in guns, a place to hide or a weapon to protect yourself with. Humans are made with fear; it's how we survive. 

        Fear is a human's best friend and worst nemesis. Fear navigates you away from danger, and it also forces you to think unclear. Fear is one of the human's survival instincts, so when you find it hard to breathe or your chest starts racing; don't ignore it.

        I sighed, turning my body to Yuri and observing his face. 

        He's seriously so annoying. He's always so focused on work and how I'll betray him. He's probably always thinking about his sister, I wouldn't be surprised if he was dreaming about her. I thought, reaching my hand up and letting my intrusive thoughts win as I poked his injured forehead lightly, just barley any touch.

        "You. Are. Stupid." I spoke, believing the words I said with every poke. "But..." I paused, thinking of what to say to the unconscious Yuri. "I don't think I'd want to be anyone else's wife." I admitted. "Don't think it's a compliment though, jerk." I huffed, going back to poking his forehead until I got bored. 

        I sighed again, trying to close my eyes and sleep, but the silence and the dark really started to bother me. I could hear the steps of the neighbor's above us, or is there something crawling on the ceiling and watching me. I could hear the air conditioning, or is it a monster breathing? Or the neighbor's opening their doors, or is that our front door?

        The bedroom door creaked open and I froze, my arms immediately latching onto Yuri as I kept quiet, my heart in my throat as I could hear it beat loudly.

        Wait? What the hell am I doing?! I should be protecting Yuri since he's unconscious!

        I gathered my nerves and opened my eyes, almost screaming once I saw a face staring down at me. They quickly covered my mouth, then spoke.

        "Don't scream. It's me." They spoke. 

        I recognized the voice as Twilight's and immediately felt angry and relieved. I carefully got out of the bed, gripping Twilight's sleeve and dragging him out to the living room, delicately closing the door as to not disturb Yuri. 

        "I almost pissed myself, asshole!" I hissed, slapping his arm. 

        "Sorry..." he whispered, then cleared his throat. "I just wanted to know why you're quitting the spy industry." He spoke.

        "Oh ho ho! Is the ever so great Twilight actually caring about me?" I teased, then cleared my own throat. "In actuality. I don't like risking my life all the time. It's not fun to get hurt and worry about if you'll ever see the people you love again." I sighed. 

        "What are you talking about? You don't have a lover—" His eyes widen, voice silently before he looked at me, mouth gaping open and shut like a fish. "Y-you actually love Yuri?! I thought you were kidding!" he questioned.

        "Tsk! Of course not!" I exclaimed, slapping his hand. "I want to be able to live long enough to have a lover, and in this case, Yuri is my 'lover!'" I spoke with quotation marks on my fingers.

        "How'd you meet him?" he questioned.

        "Oh yeah. Some mole ratted me out like a little bitch to the SSS when he got caught, then they caught me after a long chase that lasted a few weeks, next thing you know, I'm being interviewed and signed a contract to work with the SSS in order to keep my life—" the words came out of my mouth before I could think of the consequences from them.

        I started to open and close my mouth like a fish (and like what Twilight did earlier).

        "So, you're leaving because they've got you hostage?" Twilight spoke.

        "No! No!" I quickly shut down the idea. "Well. I mean, I don't want to work with the SSS, and I don't want to work with Westalian Intelligence either. I just want to live a normal life, but then this happened." I sighed. 

        "So there's nothing between you and Yuri?" he questioned.

        "Nope." I spoke, popping the p.

        "And you're sure?" Twilight questioned.

        "Of course I'm sure, why do you care so much?" I questioned.

        "Because he's the enemy!" Twilight hissed. "That, and he's the one killing off our spies. You don't care about that?" he spoke.

        "Of course I care." I snapped, offended that he would think I wouldn't. "But I'm not going to mope about the past and get myself killed. Besides, it's not like the Westalian Intelligence cares about if I ditch or not." I sighed. "But they'll kill me if they know I'm in the SSS, so you better not spill it. I told them absolutely nothing about the people in charge or even you, Twilight. So you better keep your mouth shut because I don't care if we've known each other for years or if you're the greatest spy, you cross me and I'll find a way to make you regret it." I threatened, pointing my nail to his throat.

        "Alright. I understand." Twilight spoke calmly. "But you're sure there's no feelings attached?"

        "Yeah. I don't need to be worrying about that stuff. I'm only here so I can live, and trust me, he doesn't care about if I live or die either." I smiled.

        "I don't know, you two were quite something today." Twilight spoke, causing my face to heat up.

        "W-well, of course! I didn't just work on hacking into databases or gathering information inside forces, you know. So, you're not the only one who can lie and disguise themselves. Remember, I trained alongside you, so I know almost everything you know." I spoke, turning my head away to hide my face. "Besides, he's more of a jerk behind closed doors." 

        I sighed, remembering his douche personality. 

        ("Just so you know, I'm not looking for this to be a real thing. When we're in public and at work, we'll act close—but don't expect anything kind of special treatment behind closed doors. Our 'marriage' is just a piece of paper that can easily be destroyed. The only thing that we have in common is work; nothing else." The second-lieutenant spat harshly as he walked closer to me, standing tall as he looked down at me in more ways than one.) 

        Yeah, he's a mega douche. I thought. I still wanna know his damn problem...

        "Alright. Good." Twilight spoke.

        "What about you and Yor. I don't know about you, but I almost facepalmed eight different times in five minutes. You need to get Yor to work on her acting skills." I pointed out.

        "I know." He sighed. "But she's just so..." he paused, thinking. "She's a little...simple-minded, I guess." 

        "It runs in the Briar family." I laughed. "Now, you should leave before Yuri wakes up and freaks out. He doesn't really like you, if you haven't noticed." 

        "Yeah." He spoke, fixing his coat. "Thanks for your hard work at the Westalian Intelligence. I hope we'll meet again." 

        "Don't think because I'm leaving the force that you're never going to see me again. You've been a close friend of mine for years now, so I consider you my family. Besides, we're in-laws." I teased. "And even if we never see each other, I'll just haunt your ass from beyond the grave." I joked.

        Twilight chuckled. "I wouldn't expect anything less. Goodbye, (Y/N)." He spoke.

        "Bye, ####." I responded.

        He stood there for a second, shocked to hear his birth name after so long of using Twilight, before smiling and parting.

        I'm not too sure why they gave #### the codename "Twilight" but I know they gave me the codename "Vixen" because I usually went undercover, disguising myself in the night and manipulating others to get information out of them (I'm not too fond of it either, but I convinced myself that business is business).

        When we got our codenames, we were told that our old names meant nothing and that our old lives don't matter anymore. I agreed to the terms, but there was no way I was gonna forget my past, not when it's made me the person I am today. 

        Twilight left, closing the front door as I locked it. I looked at the time, noticing it was 1 A.M. 

        Damn. Tonight's been a long one. I thought, sighing as I stretched and walked back to the bedroom.

        Yuri was still dead asleep. I carefully observed his face to make sure he wasn't faking it in case he heard the conversation. I grabbed Flower and dangled it over his head, seeing for a reaction, but none. I poked his cheek, making sure his eyes didn't twitch before concluding he wasn't faking it.

        Good. It must be the alcohol that made him pass out. I thought.

        I crawled back into bed, placing Flower in my arms and lying on my side to face away from Yuri. I concluded I didn't like the position, and switched to facing Yuri. He was still in the same spot as earlier, still facing me. I grabbed his hand and held it, believing that his position was comfortable enough before sleeping. 

        Parts: One, two, three, four, five, current part, seven, eight, nine, ten (to be continued when Spy x Family has more Yuri content!)

        Want more Yuri content? Check out these headcannons and one shots!

        Yuri Briar x Sick! Fem! Reader

        Slightly mean! Yuri Briar x Fem! Reader

Yuri Briar x Fem! Reader headcannons + other fandoms!

        Have any requests? Check my masterlist to see the characters I write for: Masterlist (Please request, I have too much free time and too little fics).

[butterflydm]

The news about Tanchico does confirm that when Rafe said a closer adaptation of TSR, he really meant a close adaptation, because that was definitely the easiest storyline to shift to another city that would appear again later on if he wanted to combine storylines (Perrin's plotline could only happen in the Two Rivers, and Rand's plotline can only happen in the Aiel Waste).

So I think a reread of TSR is in my future, lol, so I can refresh myself on the story beats.

Tanchico means Egeanin, I would guess. Otherwise you'd move their story closer to everyone else's action. So the show likely plans to keep the pressure on re: the Seanchan.

It does make going to White Tower feel even less likely (and I already had the likelihood of it pretty low) because that would be a LOT of ping-ponging for Elayne and Nynaeve, to go from the west coast to the middle of the continent and then back over to the west coast in the space of something like two or three episodes purely dedicated to traveling around. At least for Egwene, the White Tower is kinda 'on the way' to the Waste. The White Tower is definitely NOT on the way to Tanchico from Falme, lol.

The biggest question that I have is how long we'll get before the characters split up into their various plotlines and if any of them come back together again at the end of the season. From what else Rafe said at NYCC, it sounds like they are not dipping very far into TFoH at all, because he talked about focusing on a single book this season. There will definitely be things from books 1-3 in there, because we know Elaida, etc. have been cast and need some kind of introduction, but the main focus will be book 4.

A pretty good chunk of TSR does take place before anyone goes to the Waste, so I wonder how much of that we'll get. I do expect us to get the official final breakup of Rand & Egwene, though I doubt it will be comedic like it is in the books. I feel like they shouldn't rush right into Rand & Elayne afterwards (which is a major reason that I do hope they're planning to reunite Elayne & Nynaeve with Rand's side of the storyline at the end of the season, because that gives some space in between the breakup and then Rand and Elayne having serious emotions about each other), and Rand & Aviendha are built for a slow-burn. Plus I would expect Lan and Nynaeve to get some time together (their only time together in s2 was Nynaeve's vision in the third archway) before they split up (for the rest of the season?).

If Doman is the one who carries Elayne & Nynaeve to Tanchico, then that's the set-up for him to meet Egeanin there. Then Elayne and Nynaeve could potentially take a Sea Folk raker at the end of the season to reunite with Rand's half of the cast? But that really depends on how quickly Rand's side of the story is moving.

I definitely don't remember all the plot beats of Nynaeve & Elayne's side of TSR, so that reread is in order, yeah. But their TFoH plotline of having Nynaeve and Elayne just wandering the continent for most of s4 because Nynaeve can't remember the word 'Salidar' would feel like such a random & pointless sidequest especially since Rand & Elayne and Nynaeve & Lan still need a lot more weight in their romances at this point (and I'm saying that as someone who likes a lot of their circus arc in TFoH).

Even with knowing that they'll be following TSR more closely, I am definitely expecting a lot of surprises in s3. They did a really good job in putting in some elements in this season that I was not expecting but that I really loved (having Mat be the one to give Rand the wound in his side was so galaxy-brained of them; and having Elayne be the one to heal it really tied together her original meeting with Rand into the different way that the show has introduced her).

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck ch.197 thoughts

[Rider Kick!!!]

(Contents: speculation - Haruka, thematic analysis - life)

Tozuka, we need to talk about your sense for chapter titles. It's "ready, get set, go" not "get set, ready, go." Maybe it's different in Japan?

Anyway

HARUKA DEVELOPMENT!!!

Seeing that Haruka's soul is still her child self from her original backstory, I wonder if we'll be seeing a flashback of how her tragedy was averted. Given Isshin XII's statement that Haruka's heart hasn't matured, my supposition last week that Fuuko's soul resembling her appearance from when she just joined the Union symbolizes that she's the same person at heart seems to have been correct. The shape of a person's soul is a reflection of who they are; Andy is an old soul, Fuuko is a member of the Union, Lucy is a free spirit, and Haruka is a scared child. Cowardice has been a core trait of Haruka's the entire time, and while this arc seemed to suggest that she'd grown out of that between loops, this moment implies that just because she's braver doesn't mean that she isn't scared

Presumably the circumstances of her becoming Unbreakable contributed to her soul taking that shape, a moment in her past that she can't move on from. I doubt her father died the same way this time if at all, but even if it was just the shock of seeing her grandfather die of natural causes, I could see that rooting Haruka's heart in a particular time. It would also be interesting if Tozuka uses that plot point to elaborate on why Haruka got into cobbling, what inspired her to make that choice specifically, and how her relationship with Top developed after she saved his friends. I don't know if that's a story that Tozuka is interested in telling, but it's one I'm interested in reading, for sure!

The other major element of this chapter was Isshin XII's advice to Haruka. "Use the power of those who never merely live and die." Therein lies the thesis statement for this arc and possibly the entire series: "[humans] never merely live and die." We aren't alive just because blood pumps through our veins (Victor's original view) or because we have thoughts in our heads (Andy's original view); we're alive because we can form connections, because we can leave an impact on the world, because we can create

A beast lives on instinct. A beast kills and eats to survive and breed, and one day dies so that something else may feed and survive. As UMA Beast said, beasts do not desire coexistence. I would argue that they don't desire anything, their biology simply compels them to eat and procreate, even if they don't have what we would call an "understanding" of the purpose of their actions

A human, though, can eat to survive, but doesn't have to. Eating can be a purely utilitarian experience, just a way to fuel up the body for the next day, but people don't typically do that. People cook, they maximize the taste of the dish as well as the nutritional value if they even pay attention to it in the first place, and they partake of their meals communally. We do understand the purpose of eating, but that purpose is of secondary concern to anyone outside of a life-or-death scenario; instead, the priority is to enjoy our meals, whether it's through the company we keep, the flavor of the dish, or even simply the joy of creation

And that, I think, is where Unbreakable's true power comes from. Unbreakable isn't slapping two scraps of metal together and calling it a shield, it's an artform, a craft that one dedicates their life to, the culmination of skill and pride passed down for generations. It's not enough to simply know how it works; watching a knitting tutorial on youtube isn't enough to create a beautiful quilt, you have to understand the materials and the tools and the techniques intimately

There's no pride or craftsmanship in Beast simply growing Unbreakable armor. Does a tortoise build its own shell and take pride in it, or does it simply happen to grow around an otherwise oblivious reptile? As I've said a thousand times, Undead Unluck is a series about "the proof of a life lived," and the mastering of an art, the inheritance of a legacy, is just another in a long line of angles that Tozuka has chosen to tackle this theme from

Haruka's new Unbreakable, seemingly able to reconfigure her armor to match someone else, suggests that she has achieved that mastery and pride. Unbreakable is not about rigid conformity to one shape, it's about the ability to adapt to the scenario; "the reed which bends in the wind is stronger than the oak which breaks in a storm." Beast has no understanding or appreciation of the effort that forged Unbreakable itself, much less the armor it creates, and thus does not have the pride nor conviction to allow for it to be flexible or adaptable

Beast has Unbreakable, but he does not have the spirit to create. Beast devalues that which proves that one has lived, and that will ultimately be his undoing

Until next time, let's enjoy life!

[nyaagolor]

Spirit of Justice rewrite

Had a moment where I really got thinking abt the game and went into rewrite mode— I don’t think I’ll expand on this concept for a bit because I have to finish DGS and have other projects I’m more invested in, but figure it couldn’t hurt to just throw down the ideas I have before I forget. Under the cut so I don’t clog the dash!

So first things first the biggest change I would make is relegating this game to spinoff land. My biggest issue with SOJ as a whole is how steeped the narrative is in some weird colonialism, and I think just taking the main cast out entirely could remedy Most of that. At the very least, making the entire cast Kuhrainese gets rid of the whole “we need foreigners to come and fix our legal system” thing, which is my main problem with the plot

Due to the above, Phoenix / Maya / Athena / Miles / etc are taken out completely. Apollo is too integral to the plot, so he gets replaced with an OC that serves as our protagonist. My current placeholder name for him is Hermes, but in this post I’ll just call him Protagonist

Protagonist keeps a lot of elements of the Apollo backstory— he’s the son of a traveling musician who died in the fire that “killed” Amara and was adopted / raised by Dhurke. I am tweaking it so that he’s 4 years younger than Nahyuta, mostly bc I thought that was canon the entire time

Instead of being sent to America, he’s sent to a temple. Dhurke assumes that because Nahyuta has royal blood, he’ll be safe at the castle and can safely keep an eye on things / his mama, while Protagonist gets sent to the temple because killing a monk would be a political disaster and that’s the only way Dhurke can think to protect him

Protagonist really wants to help the cause though, so he runs away from the temple at some point to become a bard-like figure, collecting information and helping the revolution while being a traveling musician. Using his status as an entertainer, he gets into places he otherwise wouldn’t to get intel and secretly studies law on the side

When his friend from his temple days (Ahlbi) is accused of theft and murder, he takes up the mantle of his adoptive father to defend him in court! No idea what his gimmick, if anything, will be. I think Dance of Devotion is enough but we'll see

Nahyuta’s plot is something that’s still very up in the air, but atm my biggest change is that he knows about Amara’s hiding and is being blackmailed to protect HER, not Rayfa. I’m unsure if I wanna keep the Rayfa sibling thing or not, but in spite of that the two are actually closer than in canon

Another big change is that because everyone is Kuhrainese and Ema is no longer in the game, there’s no detective! That’s where Rayfa comes in. I’m still shaky on the in-universe reason for her acting as quasi-detective, my current idea is that it’s imperative for her to get as much detail as possible so she can more accurately make her insights. Really I just wanna see more of her

By consequence, she’s around investigations much more often, following around both Protagonist and Nahyuta. Nahyuta in general just shows up more outside of the courtroom, and him and Rayfa have a strong bond and lots of banter with each other and the protagonist

Another slight tweak is that this game’s timeline is changed, taking place in the 90s and not the 2020s. The literal only reason for this is that I think Nahyuta studied abroad to learn about other legal systems and came back with the most out of touch 90s slang ever. He wears shutter shades in court

Final tweak for now is that the civil trial aspect of Turnabout Revolution is cut entirely, instead being replaced with a flashback case— Dhurke defending himself from the arson and regicide accusations with Datz as his co-counsel. It's simultaneously horrifying and silly

that's it for now! I might add more to this if I think of anything else :)

[roseamongroses]

its called the parker curse not the morales curse 😒

atsv spoilers under cut

ok...jokes aside. after a certain point when miguel was going in on miles, i don't think he was talking about miles anymore.

and to be clear, what he said and how he said it can't be easily taken back--scorched earth yada yada-- so its impact still stands. but if you've ever had an argument as a child with a traumatized + unhealed adult-- it felt like that.

had me sweating in the theatre because you can feel him projecting HEAVY mid-way through. the way he dealt with miles, even before he started the hunt, def felt like he was punishing his past self / trying to stop his past self rather then understand a new situation +person

the assumptions he was making about miles and how he handles multi-dimensional travel, seem to lean heavy on fear. and that makes sense considering his past, but i do think only viewing justice within the lens of fearing what may happen isn't productive in the long run.

they still don't know how these initial dimensional slip ups happen before the collider exploded and bagel guy showed up. (or do they???lol) nor do they know what decides canon and non-canon (i remember the comic book authority approval at the beginning of the film and i wonder if they get mentioned again or if its just a one off joke)

(getting a lil meta there, do you think we'll get a lego movie esq ending next movie???mfkers wake up and realize they're comic book characters)

-

on the conflict

personally i love a good "hero tries to save them all, and realizes their innate limitations" type storyline, but i don't think that's the conclusion they're going for.

for example i thought Pavitr would def get his shit rocked after his spiel about being spiderman being easy and that he's happy. and he did go through something (and probably will go through something else considering he has a living girlfriend )

BUT he was able to reach out for help instead. he couldn't do it all, but he didn't have to. and i think that plot line is just as compelling as him failing outright and dragging himself out of the trenches as a lonely hero.

the "save one person vs. an entire dimension" conflict is interesting because miles is a believer in "why not both". often times with these trolly problem esq. situations, the person who questions the existence of the dilemma is dismissed.

miles is considered naive because he thinks he can "do it all". but i don't think thats the case. miles considers both because despite the trauma, he's been surrounded by a loving community who sees the best in him.

so he knows (consciously or not) that he can do both because he's not alone. he is the lone spiderman, but that doesn't have to be the case. that's why he was so excited for the spider-club cause he thought he wouldn't have to endure alone, but instead he was met with the fact that the club was meant to reaffirm their loneliness rather then circumvent it.

(also the possibility of this franchise introducing other heros later on is something im begging for btw but ik copyright will nuke that)

if miles is an anomaly, the possibility of his events deviating from the norm does exist. miles had the right to question if it was really the only way or if miguel just didn't want to try otherwise. and to be honest im questioning if miles was really the first anomaly considering we don't have all the details about miguel's backstory

-

on comics

what does it mean to be spiderman? to uphold goodness? to be a compelling hero?

For a lot of the characters explored, their justice is tied to their suffering. they are good heros because they've seen the worst and wil. endure the worst and that's what makes them compelling. but with this "new" generation of heroes, that doesn't hold up when we consider intersectional identities and what the audience desires to see from their hero's.

if the audience is already enduring and suffering in their day-to-day lives what can they get out of a story that only reaffirms the daily injustices of their reality. i don't want heros that look like me if they only uphold the status quo "suffer, work, live, be good". that isn't enough. i love me some angst, but what else makes the story compelling???

i read the superhero genre because i want better. I want to be able to fight back, to question, to explore. to stretch the idea of what goodness and justice looks like for communities that are used to being told to accept the bare minimum and just survive.

[ineffableigh]

Timeline of Suspicious Events Brain Dump - PART 3

You know the drill at this point. Off we goooo! [Part 1][Part 2]

"Maggie and Nina are depending on me!" Azi's really drunk his own Kool-aid at this point, or he's putting on a complicated show to pretend this is a serious endeavor. Giving away a valuable book just to trick Heaven? Something's really not adding up.

Another weird noise for the logs: A bassy 'whoosh/boom' noise right after Mutt says he has anniversary dinner with his beloved spouse and the camera pans to Crowley. Not sure it means anything, but it did stand out to me lol.

Something that stands out to me a lot as well, assuming it was done deliberately (I don't know the actor) - Mutt seems to be having an awfully hard time handling the cards he's currently sorting. Like, after he says 'no' at first, I cannot figure out what he's trying to do with his right hand.

Also of note: The mysterious Bird Box is nowhere to be seen in the shop, even though MANY of the set items are identical to the 1941 scene. Where that bird at??

"Under no circumstances can I there be for tonight." ... what? This has to be on purpose, right? I'm digging, I know, but that's what we do here lol.

Big sad empty warehouse for the Demon Legions. Why on earth (or in Hell) is Hell so short staffed? Where them demons at?

DANGER...osity!

"I can only be there 'til 7" so that's a half hour window for the meeting, at least for Justine. Fair, she can only handle so much of Azi's painful French lol.

The metal barrier just outside the cafe is... awfully snake-y isn't it?

"Looking where the furniture isn't..." is definitely going to be VERY important. Crowley absolutely knows something about losing AND regaining memories and it's been telegraphed all season.

Michael has eye earrings! This feels like a huge tie-in with Maggie's all seeing eye necklace.

Skimming through the rest since I've gone through it multiple times through other posts, but quick takeaways include...

Ms Cheng looking at the Pub before she goes in. Suspicious given we know that's the Hellevator, but have no reason to believe she'd be looking for someone else coming from that direction as the cafe AND record store are the other way.

Mr Brown has to be suspicious because we HEAR him getting mulched by demons when he's taken, but he survives? WEIRD.

Maggie's main character moment as I mentioned in my 'Thoughts about Maggie' post.

Azi seems very genuine when explaining the Coffee Shop Love Plot to Nina, so maybe he really did believe he was helping. I don't get why they steamrolled past her already having a partner, both the lads knew it. It's weird for that much.

Maggie blankly standing by the open window in range of trash is weird, especially since she like Activates and Becomes Brave right after.

I do wonder... how does Shax know Maggie couldn't pay the rent? That seems awfully specific. Like REALLY specific.

Throne, Dominion or Higher Crowley - what a way to drop that info! That moment hits so hard lol.

"Institutional Problem" I wonder if we'll learn more about The Fall next season. What was it that actually triggered it (in this universe)?

I love that the archangels clearly interact with each other SO LITTLE that no one even knows if Gabriel actually has his own bloody desk lol. Talk about isolation.

Huh. I wonder why Shax didn't get discorporated by the Exploding Halo...

You know who else is wearing a damn turtleneck? SARAQUAEL. OOH. COVERT AGENT? HMMMM

No one looked at the damn box, I still can't believe it. Everyone was so busy Being In A Story that they didn't think of it lol.

Analysis of the last chunk of the episode has been done to death, so I'll finish by underlining that it's SO awfully convenient that Maggie INSISTED that she and Nina talk to "them" while Aziraphale was waylaid by the Metatron.

In fact, it's Very Fortunate that the Metatron made a point of going and sitting at JUSTINE'S CAFE out of sight of the bookshop AND Nina's Cafe. Otherwise Nina might have been like hey you, get in on this chat! Like he knew that was the plan...

Plus the fact that they do that even though Justine's cafe is clearly CLOSED. I doubt she'd be chill with that so I guess she's not around.

Anyway that's enough so here's the TLDR:

The Metatron pretty much just LETS Gabriel escape, knowing that the Archangels will go down and muddle about trying to investigate.

We still don't know why Michael thought they had the right to strike people from the Book of Life. The Metatron seems to think that's out of the question, so where did that idea come from in the first place? It was a major driver of the early plot this season.

It seems convenient that Maggie cried about Nina RIGHT before the Angels arrived to inspect the Jimbriel miracle, and then RIGHT AFTER THAT, Mr Brown (of Brown's World of Carpets) shows up to set up the venue. That alone, all happening in the span of maybe 15 minutes, is a LOT.

It really feels like much of the plot was specifically orchestrated to keep Aziraphale and Crowley apart and NOT TALKING to each other. They keep hiding shit from each other to protect each other, but just hamstring themselves.

[topazadine]

Writer Questionnaire

As I prepare for the workday (sigh) I'm going to take a few minutes and hop in on the craze! Please go read @illarian-rambling's answers over here!

1. Is writing a hobby or way of life?

Way of life. Not only is my day job writing, but I spend pretty much all my free time writing my silly stories too. It's all I have ever known and all I ever do.

2. A journal full of writing notes or a clean, completed manuscript?

Clean manuscript. I double outline, meaning that I write a long, looong outline and a short outline with just the bullet points I desperately need. This keeps me from losing momentum while I'm writing because I don't feel like I've done the whole thing and don't need to write it. This sounds confusing, so let me show you what I mean. Here's the long outline for a chapter:

... and this is the short outline.

I then leave a comment on the chapter header in the actual Word document, something like "Cavalry confronts Uileac and Cerie," so I don't need to look back on the outline if I don't want to. Oh, and I do not work on WIPs simultaneously. Ever. One at a time. Can't relate to the people who say "hehe I have a million WIPs that are all half done." Like, girl, why do you think they're all half-done? Because your brain is overloaded with details for too many different plots. Jot down a note and get to it later. Otherwise all those things are going to stay half-done.

3. Who (or what) is your writing inspiration?

I started getting into fiction writing again after a long, long break because of Touken Ranbu, so we'll just say my beloved Uguisumaru.

My king .... I love you ... my darling ....

4. Which is worse: someone you "idolize" reading your first draft or listening to you sing?

Neither of those are particularly torturous to me. I guess singing.

5. Has writing from someone else's POV ever changed your own perspective?

It's very strange, but as a lesbian, I didn't really banish my own internalized homophobia until I started writing slash fic. Even in my own sapphic relationships, I always felt there was something 'wrong' about it and that our relationships weren't as valid as a straight couple. This was due to a lot of very violent homophobia imposed on me by others that made me really struggle to accept being gay. Writing about so many gay couples helped normalize it for me and feel more confident in my own sexuality. I no longer see gay couples as somehow apart from heterosexual relationships but just as deep and loving. In fact, writing stuff like the Moonbeam and Crane series was the push I needed to fully come out as a lesbian and stop pretending I was attracted to men, which is bizarre because, you know, I was writing about men banging. And then I went on to write gay longing and, eventually, a whole gay af series <3

6. Tumblr, AO3, LiveJournal, or FFN?

Archive of Our Own and Amazon :)

7. AO3 wordcount, and are you satisfied with it?

Quite satisfied with it! I did my million words of practice and then some before moving on to original fiction.

8. What movie/book/fic gripped you irrevocably?

Remainder by Tom McCarthy. It has this lulling menace about it. I loved the repetition and the incredible environmental descriptions. Another favorite is Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell, which really encouraged me to get more experimental with my work. And my all-time favorite, Moby Dick. I've read it three times and keep meaning to go back for a fourth read; every time, I find something different to love about it. I started it again a bit ago and this time, I was focusing on the relationship between Ishmael and Queequeg.

9. What’s the highest compliment you’ve ever been given, and have you been given it?

This comment by Wapato_Sprout is the one that convinced me that I was ready to start writing original fiction:

I'm not kidding: I started writing Poesy, the full-length book in the Eirenic Verses series, like one week later. Then went and started filling in the back with shorter stories lmao. Being able to write two original characters with depth, goals, and motivations that people really cared about was such a rush, especially because I'd been told before that my original characters were more plot devices than people. And this should be your reminder that your comments on fanfiction matter a LOT! You may be the push to get a writer to start taking more risks and maybe even writing their own original fiction. Around the same time, my boss randomly told me that I should do more with my writing than just crafting business emails. I like to think that was a bit of divine intervention, to get two nudges from people I respect almost simultaneously. And hey look where it's gotten me! I'm writing a seven-part series now!

10. What defines your writing style?

My background in poetry gives my prose a sense of lyricism and movement. I think about whether my prose would flow like a poem when read aloud, and I hear that rhythm in my head when I write. It also means I know when to go short and choppy, or when to use long, moving description. I would not be anywhere near the writer I am today without those years of practice.

Open tag!

(I think most of the people I would tag were tagged elsewhere lmao)

[blueindigo17]

hi writeblr!! it's nice to meet you!!

I’ve had this blog for years but never posted anything bc to be honest I was a little afraid of tumblr when I first joined, but recently I decided that since I like talking about my wips so much to my friends/family irl, why not blog about them? I also want to find some writing mutuals, since I like hearing about people’s stories just as much as I like telling them about mine. Feel free to interact, follow, message, etc. I love making friends :D

About me <3

I go by Blue or BlueIndigo online, so feel free to use either of those :)

My pronouns are she/her

I’m 19, which also happens to be my favorite number :)

I have five (sort of six?) wips and over a hundred characters. I may have a problem.

I am a BIG swiftie (favorite albums are 1989 TV and TTPD), and I listen to a lot of 5SOS, Olivia Rodrigo, Gracie Abrams, Conan Gray, and The Scarlet Opera. Also the occasional Chappell Roan.

I love reading!! My favorite books are Carrie Soto Is Back by Taylor Jenkins Reid (my fav author) and She Drives Me Crazy by Kelly Quindlen.

I've played ukulele for a few years, and I recently started learning guitar. there's a greater than zero chance I might post any music things in the future. ig we'll see.

I have a thing where my wip titles have to make good acronyms or I don’t use them. idk why either.

I love talking about my wips (and also everything else) to the point of annoyance. (#blueindigo says things for non-wip related stuff <3)

tag games are an ABSOLUTE YES my personal brand of yapping is answering questions lol

I like to write…

Realistic/contemporary fiction

Young adult/new adult

LGBTQ+ characters

Coming of age

Romance

Friend groups/found family

otherwise just people being people :)

More about my wips below !!

My WIPs

Never Have We Ever (NHWE)

Tags: #wip: never have we ever #wip: NHWE

Summary: Liz has the best friends a girl could ask for. Harley, Mikey, and Natasha have been her people since elementary school, and Trevor and Amanda since middle school. Their whole lives, things have been pretty much the same. Same kids in their classes every year. Same streets between the same houses. Same, same, same. At the end of her freshman year of high school, just about when Liz is wondering how much same she could possibly handle, she catches Trevor’s eye as he laughs at someone’s joke, and something deep inside her lights up. Something she doesn’t know what to do with. Something she can't push back down once it comes barreling up to the surface. So much for same. After that, things can’t stop changing. And not just in her own life—her friend group starts pulling apart at the seams. Harley begins withdrawing from everyone with no explanation. Mikey gets in bigger trouble with his dad than ever. Natasha only has a year before she has to move off to college. Amanda is stuck between the person she is and the person the world wants her to be. Trevor seems to have gotten off easy, but Liz can’t be around him for more than a minute without falling head over heels all over again. In this collection of short stories, Liz has to wonder if the change of pace she thought she wanted is worth it. Sometimes it’s hard to be brave, and she’s never been the most open to change, but unfortunately, that does not stop it from happening. The only question is: what is she going to do about it?

Genres: short stories, realistic fiction, young adult, coming of age, contemporary Themes: found family, first crushes, dealing with change, growing up, maintaining friendships Characters: Liz Stanton 🩵, Harley Wilson 💚, Mikey Miller 💛, Natasha Knightley 💜, Trevor Marshall ❤️, Amanda Hamilton 🩷

NHWE is my oldest WIP, started on December 16, 2019. It’s been on ice lately, since the plot has gone through so many changes that I haven’t known what to do with it in a while, but one of my goals with posting about it is to warm myself back up to it. I think writing that summary was a good place to start. Wish me luck :D

The Together List (TTL)

Tags: #wip: the together list #wip: TTL

Summary: Audrey is in her first month of college. Within three weeks, she’s moved out of her childhood bedroom and into a room with a window that seems to open on its own and a door that creaks loud enough to wake up the whole floor, she’s stumbled into a friend group that seemed to pull itself together like drawstrings, and she’s gotten a job at an adorable independent milkshake shop with her roommate and one of her new friends. What more could she possibly ask for? The world, it seems. Audrey has a list ten miles long of all the little things she wants college to be. One night, she starts listing them out loud. Her friends—Logan, Lennon, McKinley, Aspen, and Levi—chime in with their own after a moment, and before anyone knows it it’s been three hours and they haven’t stopped. They aren’t even sure whose idea it is, but they start writing it down. Every box on this ridiculously decorated list will be checked off by the end of the year, they swear. Someone makes an Instagram account as a joke, but by the first post it’s become as serious an endeavor as they’ve ever had. They wouldn’t call themselves local celebrities, but they certainly wouldn’t correct you if you did. The thing about fame at this age, even at small amounts, is that it's bound to go to someone's head...

Genres: realistic fiction, young adult fiction, new adult fiction, coming of age, LGBTQ+ fiction Themes: LGBTQ+, friendships, fame, college, becoming an adult, relationships Characters: Audrey Marshall 💙, Logan Levine 🧡, Lennon Adler 💛, McKinley March 💜, Aspen Brady ❤️, Levi Jackson 💚

TTL was created on August 18, 2021. I saw a post on Pinterest of someone's summer bucket list and that sounded like such a fun thing to do with friends that I had to write about it. Two and a half-ish years later, TTL has also gone through many changes, so I'm sort of trying to refresh it now. I'm very excited to see where it takes me!

(Fun fact: the main character, Audrey, is the older sister of Trevor from NHWE!)

The Violet Sisters Club (TVSC)

Tags: #wip: the violet sisters club #wip: TVSC

Summary: The Violet Sisters Club, a world famous all-female pop rock band, is facing a very public lawsuit from a former hotheaded manager over their most recent album. Following the conclusion of their case, lead singer Naomi Tyler, drummer Inez Wilde, guitarist Chrissy Cameron, and bassist Francesca Sheridan escape to the luxurious Overlook Estate, a privately owned rental property on an island off the southern coast of California. Here, they can spend the summer out of the public eye, writing songs they don’t need to worry about releasing and letting the public wonder what they’re up to as they let the tension out of their muscles. With a property four times the size of Alcatraz Island and a beach over a mile long, the Overlook offers the band a respite from the go, go, go of touring, the privacy invasion of paparazzi, and the exhaustion of being micromanaged every minute of every day. Four pools, seven hot tubs, the aforementioned private beach, a high tech recording studio (just in case), a few golf carts just to get around the property and a Jeep to get to town. It’s unimaginably expensive, it’s incomprehensibly big, and it’s everything they need. But this escape may not be the relaxing California beach paradise they imagined. Soon, it becomes hard to hide how much the stress of fame was eating away at each of them—emotions run high, patiences run thin, days run long, nights run longer, and the strength of the band is questioned as the girls’ insecurities and anxieties bubble to the surface after a lifetime in the spotlight.

Genres: realistic fiction, contemporary fiction, literary fiction Themes: fame, music, romance, found family, secrets, breakups Characters: Naomi Tyler (lead singer, songwriter) 💜, Inez Wilde (drummer, vocalist, songwriter) 🩷, Chrissy Cameron (guitarist, vocalist, songwriter) 💙, Francesca Sheridan (bassist, vocalist, songwriter) 💚

TVSC was created on February 5, 2023, but the characters have been around almost as long as TTL. Initially, I created the Violet Sisters Club as a fictional band that would exist within The Together List, but at some point I couldn't get the idea of a TVSC-focused novel out of my head. I'm glad I never did, because some of my favorite ideas I've ever had have gone into TVSC. If I could have one wish, it would be for all of TVSC's songs to be real so I could listen to them without having to write them first.

Now That We Don’t Talk (NTWDT)

Tags: #wip: now that we don’t talk #wip: NTWDT

Summary: There are two important things to know about Hazel Henry and Saiah Bradford.  One: They kinda-sorta hate each other after they broke up last year at prom. (The same prom that ended with the school almost burning down and Hazel's twin brother's best friend going to the hospital. Bad memories all around.) Two: Someone on the planning committee for their senior class trip must be out to get them, because when they arrive at the hotel, they find out they’ve been assigned to the same room. This should have been impossible; Saiah requested to be paired with her best friend, Tory, who's going to have some explaining to do later, and Hazel would bet her life on the fact that she requested a room alone. Now, for the next two weeks, they’re both stuck in the same narrow room with its little square bathroom and practically-nonexistent privacy. The air conditioner turns on at random times, they seem to be paired together for every single scheduled activity, and perhaps worst of all—their friends all seem to find this situation absolutely hilarious.  But it’s just two weeks, right? It’ll be over before they know it, and soon they can both go back to pretending their relationship—and each other—never existed. Right? Right? Happy senior year to them. 

Genres: realistic fiction, young adult fiction, contemporary fiction, LGBTQ+ fiction, romance Themes: reconciliation, romance, friendship, forgiveness, guilt, regrets, family, growing up Characters: Hazel Henry 🩷, Nick Henry 💙, Saiah Bradford 💚, Tory Whitehouse 💛

NTWDT was created on October 18, 2023. Hilariously, I came up with the plot after making Hazel and Saiah in the Sims, and I literally couldn't stop thinking about them whenever I wasn't playing. As I do with every character I create, I became obsessed with them, and now here we are. And in case you're wondering, yes, I named it after the Taylor Swift song lol.

Trouble In Paradise (TIP)

Tags: #wip: trouble in paradise #wip: TIP

Summary: Sixteen years ago, Joe Alexander and Ben King drove across the US in the pursuit of Joe's true love. Today, Joe is preparing to move out of his and his ex-wife's house and drive across the country once more, joined by his daughter, Bryce, and his best friend/his daughter's biological father, Ben. It's all familiar—the long stretches of empty fields, collapsing onto a cheap hotel bed for the night, never being able to decide where to stop for food—and yet, Joe has no idea what he's in for.  This is a story of two cross-country road trips, and the lives that one woman is able to ruin in between. Joe Alexander and Ben King have both lost their entire worlds to Lilly Alexander. But the ones they’ve gained after her might be—in some weird, unconventional way—a little better.

Genres: realistic fiction, contemporary fiction, adult fiction, literary fiction Themes: reconciliation, moving on, guilt, parenting, cheating, manipulation, mental illness, past sexual assault Characters: Joe Alexander, Ben King, Bryce Alexander, Lilly Alexander

TIP is technically my newest WIP, since I came up with the full plot earlier this year (February 13, 2024). I've had the vague idea of it for just over a year, but I didn't quite know what to do with it until recently. It's definitely more mature with its topics than my other wips, as you might be able to tell by the themes, but I really like the concept and I've had a lot of fun plotting it so far, even if it's a little out of my comfort zone.

(Fun fact: the original title way back when the characters didn't even have last names was High Infidelity, after the Taylor Swift song, since I thought it was so thematically appropriate.)

···

OKAY I'm pretty sure I have officially run out of things to say. If you made it all the way here, thank you so much for reading! Like I said earlier, feel free to interact any way you like :D

This post is sort of a masterpost for all my wips, but I'm also doing posts for each wip separately so I can go into more detail. Those are/will be linked in the title for each wip.

Thanks again for reading, and have a good day/night !!

―BlueIndigo <3

[factorialsotherfandoms]

its 6am and I'm complaining myself through the ending of purgatory k? This is just the bitching not a full balanced analysis, bits I genuinely enjoyed are missing so it looks like I have a worse opinion than I did, its below a cut because a lot of people don't want that and that's absolutely good. I'm just processing through.

I think purgatory ending feels bad because we were promised by the way it was advertised and treated the end of the arc, and what we got was another fucking mid point instead. A mid point which after this going on for so long nobody really wanted. Setting up new project cool! But it felt miserable to watch the end. Probably could have been helped if the CCs had more info on a meta level - just the timescales and that this wasn't actually the end of the arc - so they could pace themselves and us better. The eggs missing has gone on for far too long, we've been given far too little to work with, and it's just not fun viewing any more. Which is why my engagement is so dependent on the next little while.

That, plus getting to the boat on foot was impossible without near perfection - something they were never going to all have. I like giving qMaxo his big sendoff with the nuke which solves nothing! But people who were legitimately trying to escape (Cellbit, Tina, off the top of my head - Cellbit just legit got lost in the underground. He said after he decided to stay but like... really? We'll have to wait and see next time he plays qsmp. If nothing else he legit had shit to do planned, and I feel like he would discuss it more with Roier if he was going to perma-kill Cellbit as that's massive to put on someone else's character. Pretty sure ccCellbit was just teasing like he fucking does but we'll see. Also changes what Maxo did if any of them die to it /significantly/. I'll be genuinely worried for ccMaxo if his characters actually pretty neat death arc resulted in a fan favourite character permadying in a game without permadeath) should have had a legit chance to do so. If they were supposed to be able to. I really hope the admins smooth that bit over one way or another, because it just made shit feel extremely bad. Kinda expect the /actual/ ruling to be if one person made it they all did, but dear god they needed to tell the players that immediately after or whatever if so. Failing that you could maybe have the others in the Nether or something, but youd need to coordinate everyone who didn't make it and that'd just suck logistically. The sensible answer is if one person got there they all did because this isn't a high legality sort of game. For players.

Like the other eggs were probably kidnapped by something and reported out? And I'm betting on black concrete plot as that's the plot actually associated with them disappearing in the first place, but for all it's cool moments up until then it just... dropped the ball. Tbh the entire thing with the eggs being involved was a massive ball drop which lead to /one/ cool conversation but otherwise just made everything infinitely less enjoyable.

Poor BBH. Like cc wise. He's one of a whole lot of them who have horrific rp safety practices, but also there's not really anyone to teach them that and that's nothing to punish someone for. Hope it gets hashed out with him. All of them but especially him.

Having players of another project as "advertising" for a new project without them knowing more in advance tastes kinda shitty. Very shitty. We'll see how tied it ends up being but that's just not comfy.

Quackity saying about big stuff planned is absolute ass. Like legitimately and out of character the CCs genuinely need a break for a bit you can't just throw them back into heavy stuff immediately. They need space to breath oc and find their footing ic. Most of them have streamed far more than usual this fortnight, and even for those who do stream daily usually it's been intense. You can say if its hurting them they can just take a break but you cannot convince me they can when their literal irl incomes depend on this. Some more than others, but they do.

Also like the tension just genuinely doesn't hold that long. Most of what I run is combat heavy fantasy events, but I've done horror too. And a big bit of running horror events is studying how pacing and tension works, especially over an extended period (horror events locally tend to be multi-day). You /can/ change the usual layout, but you have to know your fucking shit and be really careful if you do, and the admins and Quackity just don't seem to - as a collective whole, some individuals may - have the experience necessary to fuck with the formula. Like. I'm burnt out, the players are ooc burnt out, the fandom generally seems burnt out - not giving the players a win here was already a mistake, but the tension /has/ snapped. Too many people are too burnt out from playing more than usual and all that, under very high stakes circumstances, for very little reward. There needs to be a break where players who do other stuff can play other stuff and players who don't can take the time to find their footing again. Tension levels are not sustainable and they broke them open. If they hadn't revealed the eggs you could have stretched it another few days, but they did. At which point losing the eggs again is genuinely so fucking unsatisfying. They could have only been shown the winning egg. Like sure fuck with people, that's what's going on IC and OC maybe it was supposed to be reassurance, but it just ended up feeling ghoulish. It was so obviously playing on feelings it just fell flat for me. Not even the fun playing with feelings, just a fuck you.

Also communication has been fucking atrocious. Yes keep twists in the bag, I can see arguments for all plot points, but the players needed to know the timescale, the fact it was a PvP not a lore event, and that this wasn't the end of the eggs missing arc rather an interlude waaaaaaaaaaay earlier. Like they found out as these things became obvious, but given the time commitment it demanded they needed to know like weeks before it started. As soon as it was announced. We can tall all we like about trusting the admins, but the admins have got to fucking trust their players to still make good viewing times even if not everything is a complete surprise. It fucked over Cellbit and Roier and their murder plot planning, it fucked over a lot of people ooc and their streaming schedules and their ability to do actual life things. Forever when given the Judas plot should have been told in advance when it would be activatable. The players - not the characters or the audience, the players - should have known it was 15 days, PvP, only 1 egg was on the cards for now, that the chance to save the others will come later (I have no doubt it will), and that they would need to escape fast at the end. Not the why, not the how, not the plot, but you need to know the fucking stakes.

Like okay let's look at shit I run a sec. Its nor perfect, but we've been building on a 20+ year tradition of larp in the same place and learning from what does and doesnt work. Info players have in advance:

date and time. for things run for and at the university, dates generally are announced start of the year, and which system will be which day is the start of every term. For events for the uni but at an unusual place or time (often an IC dinner party or similar), 3 weeks in advance. For stuff not associated with the university (I help with fewer of these, as far fewer happen and theyte the ones i can still play with my disability)... well, they tend to be multi day in a hired venue and players pay a lot of money to be there, so its usually about a year and a half in advance. The stuff below about pitches are for saturday ones - paid for multi day events all that info is announced at least a year in advance, and for single day non-university ones at least 6 months. But like qsmp is a constantly running thing so the university stuff is a fairer comparison.

Every event has a "pitch". This goes up the Tuesday before for Saturday events - theres a couple of different teams running different genres but same place same time theres a larp every termtime saturday just 9/30 are run by my team. The pitch will contain the information the characters know going into a mission or social or whatever. If theres a twist the twist isn't mentioned, ofc, just the initial setup. Then, there's an out of character section, with stuff like date and time and reminders to weather weather appropriate clothing and sturdy shoes.

If the event is /not/ in the format players expect, in the out of character info including things like the time, we say that. We run combat heavy stuff. If it's purely social, we say so. If it'll be more Freeform than usual, we say so. If the party is getting split we - you guessed it - say so.

Our events have different levels of IC rewards. The basic reward can always be assumed (3 gold, iirc). Theres also 4 and 5 gold days. If its not 3 gold, it says so in the pitch, and players know this is a difficulty rstinf system. 3 is normal, 4 is "this is designed to be challenging for late end high xp characters and is likely to kill lower levels", 5 is "we are actively trying to kill someone". Death is always an option, but the ref team don't usually want it.

Sometimes there are RP rewards too. These are not explicately stated, but are alluded to "you will be paid so long as you eliminate the monster. If you capture it and deliver it to the university, however, the chancellor promises an extra something for you" sort of thing. "The Dowager Duchess is well known for rewarding those in her favour. Impress her, and she may do the same for you".

If there's distressing content that isn't covered by genre and game style, we include a warning. Last time was "this session will include horror elements. A list of content warnings is available from any ref on request", and we DMed players we knew have triggers on that list the same day pitch went out to liase with them. Yes even when the trigger is a plot twist or a spoiler because fuck you player safety will always be most important. One which had content warnings but was not horror "this session contains potentially distressing material. A list of content warnings is available from any ref on request".

And like... call me naive but this is the sort of info the players should have? In advance they should have a summary (yes it's also given IC at the start of the event, but it means they can prep properly), dates and times well in advance (so they can prep their lives and other projects), expected rewards (even if vague), and any particularly common triggers (like say a third party intentionally sewing paranoia and fucking with mental health of characters) should have a "theres triggers here please put a message in your help channel for a list". I'd say also some indicator of where on a plot arc something falls.

We dont give this because our pacing plot arc wise is determined by how we run them. Paid events are all always one offs (I run them with a different group of people but same circle) - except when they aren't in which case this is made clear at the pitching stage- and uni ones its dictated by the university schedule - we run nine main events a year, 3 each term. There's a small climax last linear of every term, and a major one at the end of a year. Yearly arcplots do not always exist but when they do they end with the last linear of term. There are some other plots brewing over longer periods - when those come to a head, they will become the main plot for a year and their climaxes run on yearly arcplot rules. It is never the case that all sessions in a year are arcplot related, to give players not interested in a specific thing something to do.

Other things they could probably do with include a safe word and establishing a way for an admin to indicate a fuck up due to glitch or mistake - probably an "ignore me" emote only admins have access to.

This all being said - the admin team want people to have fun and for it to go well, and the medium is much younger than traditional LARP. Information for their specific media does not exist, and while they maybe should look at rp for ideas they probably look at tabletop and don't even consider LARP - let alone larp styles more common in Europe. I can say things all I want, but I'm just a guy over here. The admins are trying their best and do want the best for their players, and will have a plan. It's just infuriating sometimes.

[mi6-cafe]

It's Newspaper November!

Specifically, it's Agony Aunt Column November. From November 1-5, we encourage you to submit an in-character letter to our inbox, where it will reach MI6's very own agony aunt, Grievances Goodnight!

Submit your ask (it can be anonymous) and begin it with Dear Grievances Goodnight.

Maybe your letter will be signed Quintessentially Quirky and it will wonder about the best kind of nerd-wear to buy a gentleman used to something more traditional. Or maybe you'll write in as I Have Top-Notch Range Scores Honestly and have a question about working with a coworker you killed injured with an Olympic Arms K2B3 rifle.

From November 6-12, we'll post the letters and ask you to take on the character of Grievances Goodnight and write a reply to someone else's query!

In case you miss out the first time, we'll also run the agony aunt event in the second half of the month as well.

Last Drabble Writer Standing Entries

Thank you to everyone who participated in last month's LDWS competition! It was a pleasure to have people writing for the prompts and reading, giving feedback, and voting on all the entries.

You can read all of the drabbles now with the author’s names in the original docs here. (week 1, week 2, week 3, week 4)

Many of the stories are now on AO3 in our LDWS collection. Even if you’ve already read them, we encourage you to go leave lovely comments and kudos to the authors there, too!

Saturday Cafe: Every Saturday in November

To help those who are doing NaNoWriMo, our Saturday Cafe is every week this month! Come join us in the fandom Slack as we write, draw, sprint, plot, brainstorm, cheerlead, and generally have a good time trying to get things done together. If you’d like an invite to the Slack, go ahead and message @castillon02 or @spiritofcamelot!

Long Fic Readalong (new fic starting this week!), Saturdays at 9pm ET

Join us in the Discord while we read a fic together. This is a chance to enjoy the fun of reading a chaptered work in weekly installments with all the laughter and shared suspense that that involves. The group is starting a new fic this week, so it's a great time to jump in and join!

We’d love to see you there. You are welcome to listen if you don’t or can’t read aloud!    

When: Saturday, October 1st at 9pm eastern/6pm Pacific (your local time here)

Where: We’ll be reading on discord in the readalongs channel. (Invite to discord here)

Please join us to read, to just hang out and listen, and to generally enjoy a good story together!

Weekly events:

WIP Wednesday: You can post an excerpt of your WIP on our post or make your own post and mention the @mi6-cafe. Either way it’s a fun way to show people what you’re working on, Bond fandom or otherwise.

Weekly Bond movies: Hosted by womble every Sunday at 8am Pacific time, join us in Discord to watch one of the Bond movies. Keep an eye on the watch party calendar linked below for updates.

Want to host your own event in the Discord or elsewhere? Let us know about it so we can add it to the calendars!

Calendars

Watch Party Calendar MI6 Cafe Calendar   If you need help adding these calendars to your personal one, check out this post.