#otherwise id love to do pit i love a good pit <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[mouseoho]

GOT TICKETS FOR ONEUS IN PARIS <3<3<3<3

[yb-cringe]

Hello id love to hear the mianite subtext (if you want)

OHOHOHOOOOO THANK YOU JEM—

I was gonna make it no matter what but yes thank you for the ask i feel Seen 💞💞

*slams hands on table

I dont know if yall have seen Tom’s vods from mianite, theyre pretty long, but they cover a lot of important info for his character.

Basically; Two friends go onto an island and because they had no option but to pick a god, they were forced to be enemies when the gods were on. Otherwise, they were friends fucking around and having fun. Pranks, etc, nothing too harmful. But based on Jericho’s reactions- he knew Tom wouldnt hurt him unless he was forced by Dianite (in the beginning)

Cue episode 4(?) where Dianite pops in for the first time and scares the living shit out of everyone. He chases down Jericho, tells Tom to kill him, and when Tom can’t get Jericho to the sacrifice pit, Dianite scolds him but gives him weapons TO kill Jericho. He’s then told to NEVER talk to Jericho again.

You can literally see the struggle when Jericho is cheering that Dianite is gone and he’s like ‘woo! You dont have to kill me now’ and Tom stands there trying to decide whether he answers him. Basically; he does eventually and gets fucked over for it. He loses all of his items, he can’t kill Jericho, he gets his shit taken away (god items that Jericho got by doing... nothing really) and then because of terrible communication- Jericho thinks Tom tried to blow up his house so he blows up Tom’s (who wasnt going to do that) and they get into an argument, which ends in Tom watching Jericho leave with extreme hatred for who was like. His best friend that morning.

Sparklez comes along eventually and things get worse mostly because after Sparklez, Tom gets stuck with players who better embody Dianite and like chaos and death and killing without cause which Tom doesnt want to do. Example, he and the Dianite team are chasing down sparklez and Tom specifically says ‘Don’t kill Sparklez’ probably to maintain his uneasy alliance and friendship with the guy. And when one of them DOES- Tom pulls the guy away and SCOLDS HIM for killing Sparklez and formally apologizes for him.

Its why when they said Tom was an Ianite follower, I really wasnt all that surprised. Tom isn’t “evil” or likes to fuck people over, Tom is just more of a chaotic neutral type. He’s on the less orderly side of balance, but still not entirely good or bad.

Back to the idea; Tom’s been told to not talk to his friends anymore, his items are taken from him when he disobeys, and he’s still punished a lot by Dianite for absolutely nothing (struck by lightning, more often then not). He’s surrounded by people who CHOOSE to be Dianite when Tom didnt really have a choice in the first place.

So FINALLY when he gets to the end of the whole thing jn the first season, Dianite is just berating the fuck out of him and Tom is struggling to deal with his morality, and then he KILLS him. And the powers of Dianite are, supposedly, gone to Tom who is the new ‘dianite’. And everyone expects Tom to fuckin go off and kill everyone, but he doesnt. He’s not more evil or bad or manipulative, he’s actually just giddy and excited and exactly the same as before. Because A) its a lot of power and thats cool but B) because Tom’s finally free! He doesn’t have to do what Dianite says anymore and even with his power, he’s nothing like the old god.

We can also leap further into assumption and say the reason why Dianite and Mot were in such a good healthy loving relationship in Season 2, is because it shows exactly the opposite of what Tom and Dianite s1 were— abusive, unhealthy, destructive.

And if you WANT to include season 3, we could say the reason Tom makes such an evil looking altar for dianite is because he knows if he doesnt make it look badass, the guy will fucking hate him. But he doesnt really care, because when s3 Dianite says he’s into flowers, Tom is like “ok! What flowers? I can get them for you!”. He doesnt even care dude he just wants to make his god happy for once.

TL:DR— Tom made an exceptionally cool underlying story of escaping an abusive partner (who tries to isolate you, hurts you and your friends and calls it help, and actively forces you to do things you CANT actually do) and actually solved it by killing the abuser, and showing that Tom doesnt continue the cycle of abuse. a narrative we dont often see because its ‘looked down upon’ or ‘impossible’ (which its not).

[jj-bxby]

take a chance ~ jj maybank imagine

prompt request ~ angst ~ 1) you can’t do this, you owe me 2) how much did you drink? 3) i don’t need your pity

summary - you meet the boy of your dreams at a party, but your parents disapprove of your relationship. what happens when a phone call from them sends you into self destruct mode?

word count - 1.9k

trigger warnings ~ swearing, drinking/smoking, verbal ab*se from family member, happy ending

Kooks loved parties. Or, at least you were supposed to. 

For whatever reason, the thoughts of the crowded house and cheap booze never was appealing to you, no matter how many times you pushed yourself into the scene. Eventually, you resigned from the parties at frats and packed mansions within Figure Eight, opting instead for the ones thrown on The Cut. The Boneyard made the perfect spot for summer parties, logs acting as benches, fires to keep warm, and no police caring enough to show up to kill the vibe. And of course, that was how you ended up meeting him. The boy with the sea glass-blue eyes, wavy blonde locks, and salty lips. He was the one who had found you resting in the sand with music playing softly from your little speaker as your eyes closed. You were a good distance away from your Kook friends and the rest of the party. He’d tapped your leg with the toe of his sneaker, giggling as you glared at him.

“Not much of a partier, aye?”

You sat up, annoyed. “No, I’m not. I’m not one much for having my quiet time interrupted, either.” 

He sank to your level, sitting in the sand with his arm thrown over one knee with a joint in his hand. He twirled it for a few seconds before looking up to see you staring at him, a scowl having settled across your mouth. He laughed to himself as he looked in your eyes. “Well, I’m sorry about that. But do you mind if I lay here for a bit too? I’m I bit too faded to deal with anyone else right now.”

You thought for a second, before nodding slowly. “Alright, you can stay. On one condition, though. You share the weed.” JJ raised his brow at you. “I don’t like the taste of booze and I’m too jittery to calm myself down right now.”

“Alright. Say, your name is Y/N, right?” He asked as you took a drag of the blunt he’d just handed over. You nodded. “I’m JJ.”

You laughed a little bit. “You think I don’t know who you are? Really?” 

He grinned, the dimple on one of his cheeks showing. “Ah, I figured. I just thought it would be a better story to tell people when they ask how we got together if I introduced myself first.” You rolled your eyes, taking another puff from the joint before laying back down against the sand. You tilted your head to look at him, watching as he turned up the volume on the speaker before following your actions, his head turned to meet your eyes. 

“So I didn’t hear you disagree with me. About getting together eventually?” he smirked. 

You sighed at him. “Maybe because I’d be dumb not to take a chance.”

JJ arched his eyebrows and let out a heavy breath, clearly thrown by your candor. “I don’t know that I’d be a good boyfriend to you. At least not the kind of good you’d deserve.”

You shrugged, “Me neither.” You were smiling as you turned your face back to the sky and closed your eyes. Your fingertips eventually finding their way to each other, twining your fingers with JJ’s as you were wrapped in the starlight and music.

After that night, the two of you had hardly been seen apart for the coming months. The relationship had blossomed quickly. Both of you had eventually moved into John B’s house to get away from your families, as your parents were none too happy that you were dating a Pogue. To your family, JJ was nothing but a throwaway delinquent. 

“Why couldn’t you have stayed together with Kelce? Or go out with one of Sarah’s friends? Why did you have to pick the addict’s klepto kid?”

After that screaming match, you had shown up at John B’s in tears. He took you in without hesitation; since meeting him you two had formed something of a sibling bond. You had only gone back to your house once to grab your belongings with the Pogues escorting you. JJ never went back to his dad’s house. He always kept clothes in his knapsack, and he practically had an entire closet already set up at the chateau. There was no need to keep in touch with your families when you had each other.

Tonight was another one of the usual Pogue parties, them having taken hours to grab all of the kegs, cups, and matches they’d need for the night. Even though your boyfriend had invited you to come, you decided to stay in for the night. After he promised not to stay too late, you settled in with your Switch and some extra cozy blankets. 

After hours of doing side quests and avoiding the Greybeards, you heard your phone ring. Grabbing it, you see the Caller ID. It was the one you hadn’t been able to bring yourself to block yet.

Dad.

Your hands shook as you swiped on the green circle, and you raised the phone to your ear. “Hello?”

“Hi, Y/N.”

You took a deep breath. “Why are you calling me? I thought you didn’t want a daughter who chose a Pogue?”

“I’m calling to tell you that you need to come home. You’re fucking up your entire life for some boy that won’t even care about you once the lust fades. I’m saying this because I love you, Y/N. You’re my daughter, and I want what’s best for you.” You felt a small boil of rage in the pit of your stomach as you listened to his words. His tone was the same one he’d used back when you were living at home. It was the tone of honey-sweet words that dripped with threatening undertones, the one he’d use to get you to do whatever he wanted. What he wanted was to make himself look good to outsiders; Nothing he asked of you was for your happiness. 

“You don’t care about what’s right for me, dad, and you never did. If you did, you would accept me being with JJ, but you don’t. You don’t want me to be with him because you’re so goddamned worried about what the other families will think of you. I can’t believe you had the audacity to say you love me.” You felt hot tears slip from your eyes as you spoke and choked back the sobs trying to escape your throat.

“Listen, bitch. You’re lucky you’re eighteen, otherwise, I would have had you dragged back to the house the moment you left. You are the one who wrecked our family. You ruined my life, too, and I wish I would have left as soon as you were born, Y/N. This is all your fault. The locks are being changed tomorrow, got it? So don’t step a foot on my property, because you will be treated as a trespasser and you will be arrested. If you don’t come back tonight, you won’t have anyone who loves you anymore.” 

“Fine. Don’t fucking call me again, bastard,” you spat as you hung up. You ran a hand through your hair while you let the sobs shake your body, letting all of your previously trapped emotions out. After a good forty-five minutes of nothing but crying, you had finally worn yourself out and slipped into sleep. 

JJ walked into the Chateau as quietly as he could, only to find you asleep on the couch. He grinned as he walked over to where you were lying, moved your Switch and phone so they wouldn’t fall when you got up, and gently woke you. “Hey, baby.”

You groaned as you woke up, looking at the clock that read 3 am. “JJ, I thought you said you weren’t going to stay out late? And why do you smell like a distillery? How fucking much did you drink?” You were angry, and you were standing up now, face to face with your boyfriend. You felt the simmer in your stomach again, left over from earlier. 

You’re not gonna have anyone who loves you.

“I’m sorry, Y/N, I just lost track of time. I tried to text you to tell you I was going to be late, but it wouldn’t send. And I only had one beer, I’m not even buzzed.” He looked at you with a grimace on his face. “What is going on with you?” He could just see the exhaustion rimming your eyes and the tear stains on your cheeks. “Are you okay, love? You look like you do when you’ve been crying.”

You shook your head, still furious from your conversation earlier. “No, I’m not okay. My dad called tonight to tell me I ruined his life and the family, and that no one will love me, including you,” you said bitterly. JJ reached to grab your hand as he opened his mouth to speak. 

You pushed him away. “No. I don’t need your pity, JJ.” You turned on your heel to walk to your bedroom. “I needed you, and you weren’t here. You can’t do this, you fucking owed me that, JJ.” You knew you were being irrational, but you couldn’t help it. You were so hurt that you just wanted to hurt everyone around you.

He caught hold of your arm to turn you around with ease. You crossed your arms and glared daggers at the boy standing in front of you. “Y/N,” JJ sighed, “you’ve gotta meet me halfway here so I can help you. Stop fighting with me when I’m not the one you’re angry with. I know this sucks, and it hurts like hell, but you can’t just push me away. It doesn’t work like that when I’m here to stay. So tell me what’s actually going on.”

JJ watched you as the harsh expression decorating your face softened and tears welled in your eyes. “He said–he said that you would get bored of me. That you would only want me for a little while before the fascination faded,” you croaked. You let him wrap his arms around you, and rested your head against his chest. The hug was so warm and comforting, something you had never received from your family. After a minute of him holding you and murmuring comforting things, he pulled back so he could look you in the eyes.

“Baby, I hope you realize that I’m not going anywhere. I’m with you for the rest of time. And as long as I’m here with you, I’m not going to back down when you try to build those walls, okay? You’re the love of my life that I never thought I would find. It’s not something as little as lust, Y/N,” JJ promised you. “I’d be dumb not to take a chance on you, remember?”

JJ tilted his head to rest your foreheads together. “I’m sorry I was being so horrible to you, J. You’re more than I could have ever asked for, and I love you so incredibly much,” you whispered. JJ pressed a soft kiss to your lips, as he wiped a tear from your cheek with his thumb.

“Apology accepted, baby. No more trying to hurt each other just because we’re hurting, though, okay?” You nodded to him, a small smile taking its place on your lips. “Good. Let’s go get some rest now, huh?”

tags and moots ~ @jjsredhat @jjsbxtch @jjmayybank @pink-meringues @midnightmagicmusingsmain @maybanksbaby @kookkyra @aesthetic-lyss @soemthingsparkly @softstarkey @shawnssongs @drewswannabegirl @starlightstarkey @starksweasleymain @joshy-obx @jjmaybnks @obxjj @hmspxgue @uwubonebabie @jiaraendgame @poguestyle17 @topperthornton @obx-direction-sos

[cherryusa]

THE CLUB FAIR - 

Welcome to the unofficial beginning of your semester! The Club Fair is a time-honored tradition at the CCU Orientation weekend, and this year is sure not to disappoint! Get to know your fellow classmates, learn a little more about the social schedule for the year, and enjoy food and drink from the local businesses - maybe even find a job! This year, we have booths from Student Council, The Yearbook Club, Lambda Rho, Sigma Pi, the Cherriot Football Team, the Cherries Cheerleading Club, The Actor’s Society, The Living Bard’s Organization, The Young Artist’s Union, and the Cherry Coast Cinema Club! In addition, there will be music DJed by the staff at Blossom Records, Non-Alcoholic refreshments provided by the Pit, and lunch from Cherry Proper! All refreshments provided by CCU with a CCU ID! 

LAMBDA RHO’S RELAX AND RUSH: 

If there’s one thing that Belle Goode and Pilar Hamilton are excellent at, it’s making Lambda Rho look good! They’re desperate for a hot batch of pledges this year, and they’re taking no chances; so, this year come enjoy a facial, a makeover, and a polaroid photoshoot, all provided by the girl’s at Lambda Rho! They might even let you keep the picture… Though, it might be a bad sign if they don’t keep it to tuck into their binder of potential pledges. Oh well. 

SIGMA PI’S SHOOT YOUR SHOT: 

If you want to be a part of the greatest brotherhood on campus, then you have to prove that you know how to party… and Sigma Pi’s Shoot Your Shot will help you do just that! Start the beginning of your obstacle course with a ( very covert ) triple shot of hennessy, Jack Daniel’s, and Don Julio, duck and dive your way through the paint-balloon ball pit, and finally get spun in a few circles before you throw a baseball toward the Grape Mascot target that the boys stole at last year’s homecoming game! If you make it through without puking, you might just be Sigma Pi material! If not… Well, you can always impress them later, right? 

STUDENT COUNCIL SIGN UP’S:

The title of Student Council President belongs to Miss Bexeva Patel, but the rest of the positions are up for grabs by the rest of the CCU student body! Join Bex at the Student Council’s tent to submit your nomination, talk about the future of CCU, and have a cookie that she stayed up all night baking! The conversation might be stilted, and yeah, you’re going to feel like you’re at a job interview… But who wouldn’t love to have some power over the rest of the student body, right? *All nominations and club sign up’s will take place later in the event.*

THE CHERRIES CHEERLEADING CLUB CANDY BAR: 

Got a sweet tooth? Then come put together a custom bag of candy with the CCU cheerleaders! It’s the perfect way to mingle with the girls, and you’ll even have the opportunity to sign up for cheerleading tryouts! I hear that Colette Kenner is looking for a Co-Captain this year… Do you think you have what it takes? Then throw your hat into the ring! 

THE YEARBOOK CLUB: 

Do you have a passion for taking pictures? For interviewing your fellow students? What about for a school-funded end of the year party where you and your peers can all get wasted? Then join the Yearbook Club! Sign-Ups are taking place all day, and we even heard that the Staff Advisor is looking for a new club president since Lux ate it! 

THE CHERRIOT FOOTBALL TEAM: Are you a sports person? Then come join the only sport that’s funded at CCU! Football is a big deal in Cherry, and so are the football players. Who wouldn’t want to be at the top of the food chain, right? Come by the booth, barbecue with the team, and maybe sign up for tryouts! We hear the coach is looking for a new team captain… Especially now that Harvey Hargrove is back in town. 

admin note: more activities, as well as tasks, club sign ups, and elections coming throughout the event.

A NOTE FROM THE CANDY GIRL....

What’s more fun than a little drama? For this event, the Candy Girl will be assigning every member of the gang a plot partner! 

You will all be paired up, and assigned a plot by the Candy Girl. These plots will be mandatory to carry out through the course of the event, so definitely don’t be afraid to reach out to your partner. During pt. II of the event, you will be assigned a second plot partner to carry plots out with as well! Please wait to receive your plot assignment from the Candy Girl before you begin plotting with your partner, but otherwise, feel free to begin event threads! You can carry on with the threads you all began in the last week as well, but please prioritize wrapping them up in favor of event threads when you can. <3 

PLOT PARTNERS: 

- LILLI MONTGOMERY & VIRGINIA VIRGINIA.  - RORY COLLINS & NOAH RUSSELL.  - ALICE ALDER & CASEY RUSSELL.  - JAMIE DYER & MACKENZIE WALSH.  - SLOANE SALT & LIBBY LOGAN.  - ZAHRA JACKSON & ZEV KING. 

[skeetlehand]

HI!!!!! I have been tagged™™™™ by @gheysnakelady and so here are my Hot Opinions!! :D

who is your favourite member on the smp?

I mean, i have SEVERAL faves: awesamdude, eret, wilbur (rip), techno and phil - I’ll watch sometimes, tubbo and tommy, but if you’re going by who I watch th

when did you first start watching the smp and what made you get into it?

Oh, it was thanks to the sudden influx of dream smp animatics all over my youtube home page - and tbh, they were all pretty good! and so, i was like: ???!!! and started watching and now i religiously check the dsmp tag for plot updates so i guess that’s where we’re at rn… haha…

what is your favourite part about watching the smp?

Just watching these creators make these amazing stories+narrative - it’s free tv! i am entertained! even just watching them interact, this large community of a variety of streamers/youtubers, in the most diverse topics (not all of them are really minecraft-centered, but they are all great!). The idea of showcasing underrated creators in a platform where they all have the opporunity to shine, is just a wholesome idea tbh

what piece of cursed lore is your favourite?

…………. the toe…………. 

who is your favourite duo on the smp?

Miss the ol’ tubbo n tommy dynamic! But i do enjoy techno and ranboo - they’re hilarious, too.

… Niki and Jack give me Stress… i try to think about them like: team rocket! it works! almost! i try not to think about them murdering children on purpose and more like a little evil duo who cause problems and miss. please-

who are your comfort streamers?

I like to watch awesamdude (he’s great!!! <3) bbh and tubbo, when I want some nice times where I might play minecraft myself... or just relax

who is your favourite character?

mexican dream, no sweat. tubbo and tommy tie for second second place, and back when elections were a thing, so was Big Q (he still is! he says the most brutal things these days but also ,,,, stream me dude pleas-).

who do you think is the best actor (s) on the smp?

A LOT OF PEOPLE OKAY LET ME ELABORATE ON A FEW:

- schlatt. evil president. wilbur. chekov’s gun but tragic. do i need to say more.

- bad is actually really good! and terrifying! surprisingly! because he’s.,,. he’s supposed to be one of my comfort streamers.... you should check out his eggpire!!! egg for the egg god

- tommy is good at subtleties, for someone who isn’t very... subtle... yknow? I was surprised by the AMOUNT of detail that went into the exile arc - and he played it adequately

who on the smp would you like to be best friends with?

ajgLJHGdljhagjJHGJHLGDS you can’t ask me that!!! they all seem like cool people and id like to meet them but also i am a mess so hhhhh

what are your favourite quotes said on the smp?

i have a lot here too but here are just some that I can think of rn haha:

connor’s whole: “you’re not a bad person, and I hope you find what you’re looking for” had me BAWLING aaa

tommy’s dialogue with dream during their battle was good, but when 

a) tommy asks tubbo: “but what am I with out you?” and tubbo responds: “yourself.” I CRIED AAAA

b) tommy said: “Hey Dream, Dream, kill me.” because he knew dream wouldn’t, because he knew why dream wouldn’t - CHILLS

which part of the smp made you feel the saddest?

- ... pogtopia...

- Wilbur/ghostbur (out of character? in character? i don’t know which’d be worse, actually) admitting that he only wanted to make tommy president so he could blow it up seconds later

- .... tommy’s exile....

- A lot of tommy’s interactions with Techno have me kinda... :( ... you know? Like, the pit, the manberg vs. pogtopia war, doomsday - it feels like they keep shouting the same lines at each other, but neither of them really hear nor understand what the other is saying. Expecially doomsday - techno siding with dream, predictable but also hurtful, kind of. I can see why - but also techno was the closest to learning what had happened over the exile, and yet, the farthest from understanding it.

- doomsday was equally frustrating, hopeless, and depressing tbh

which part of the smp made you feel the happiest?

A LOT OF THINGS: but here are just the ones on the top of my head

- Quackity killing Schlatt and leaving manberg like: ✌️😠✌️

- When Tommy finally realized that dream was just. manipulating him. YOU GO funky exile child, LEAVE!!! 

- PUNZ coming in to save the day with: “you should’ve paid me more”???? YES YES YES

- Sam giving tommy little tasks to build the hotel?? wholesome. Acknowledging tommy’s been through a lot, abnd being one of the few people to know most of the exile story that tommy still won’t tell anyone about outright? 😭 (and i am looking AWAY from the possibility that this is just for profit, nonononono, not in MY line of sight-)

be honest, who do you simp for? (ayo if anyone says tommy or tubbo i will 🔪)

....schlatt (who ironically, was somewhat my introduction into the smp), but only cause he was a TERRIFYINGLY good actor, and he sounds EXACTLY like what id imagine an evil president would sound like 😳 what can i say, i like my voices...? jkashdlhfgal closest ill get to simping anyway so all of you can just take this and go, go elsewhere-

what’s your favorite stream?

Hmm... one of the chaos ones? kjahdlkg i can’t decide...

what’s your least favorite stream?

The butcher army stream. I mean, it was good I loved the dialogue and set up... but like... story-wise, butcher army didn’t accomplish anything in the end, their existence was as volatile as the person they hunted and tbh nothing was gained from it, just lost and made worse. Hot opinion though, so take it with caution.

what’s something about the smp fandom that makes you sad?

Hmm... A somewhat common point: sometimes people can be really critical about characters, but like, not in a good way - just straight up bashing. I get disliking a character but it makes me :( when i don’t see reason for it. Or bashing someone’s opinion of a character. Look, we’re all interpreters here, but like.... cmon.... someone might just have a different view of a character and that’s fine! 

for example: not a big fan of c!phil as a father. Some interpretations say he’s not a father because phil never said he was. Some might say he was an okay dad, and some might say tommy was never his son. all of these opinions are valid. another one of my opinions: tommy’s “punishments” were injust, some might agree with the idea that they were blown out of proportion and he didn’t really learn anything from them, some might disagree and say he got what he deserved. all of these opinions are valid -but on my end, maybe not the ones where people go: “aww man, c!tommy should’ve died cause he’s so annoying, and he totally deserved it.” did we watch the same arcs, buddies on that end???? are you okay????

Just, i get hating a character, but it bums me out when i see someone just straight up say “this character should die. cause they suck” - why though? story-wise, how would that play out? what

ANYWAY THIS IS ALL MY OPINION DON’T TAKE THIS TOO SERIOUSLY PLEASE

what’s something about the smp fandom that makes you happy?

Yall are great!! I love how much we’ve created - art, animatics, writing -all of you <3 <3 <3 and also all the discussion about the story, the characters, the interactions - I’ve found a community in some groups and honestly it’s just *chef kiss* great!!! yall are super cool and awesome and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!!

anyway, for the spread: i tag - @territorialufo, @an-inspired-eternity and @n-ugg... don’t feel pressured to do this but if you guys want 😳 

[tangerinegod]

Hello! I am sorry to bother you but I am a senior getting ready for college this year. I am in the US and I wanted to major in the same thing you did, do you have any possible tips for me? I still haven't even looked for colleges that would be best for animation majors so I figured if you were up to giving out any tips/saying any basic ideas if you wanted to/if you had the time to then maybe I'll have a better idea! I apologise for if I sound weird! I'm tried to word it correctly but I can't 😿

hi!! i’m totally down to share my experiences! someone else also had some questions so i’m going to put them all together in this post haha, hopefully this helps! it’ll get pretty long so apologies ahead of time but art school is a lot to think about so i wanna be as helpful as i can around it, its a lot of time and money. I’m gonna put it all under a read more cus it is really really long!

i wanna start off with the fact that I had the privilege of attending school in a financially stable environment, my parents were/are really supportive so w merit scholarship i only came out with around 20-30k in debt and i also had housing support my entire time in school. they were ok with me focusing on academics so i didn’t hold a retail job unless i was out of school like summer/winter break. Ofc though i regularly take commissions/do merch/cons to try and pay for all bills that arent rent cus i did want to be financially independent where it was possible. I also did try and work during the semester but everytime i did my body would deff start to breakdown from the fact that i didnt wanna compromise schoolwork with jobs.. so just read ahead know this experience is from a student who was able to attend focusing only on school work for most of the time!

the biggest thing is knowing art school is not required to become a professional in either freelancing or industry! there are a huuuge amount of online tools and classes these days that provide the exact same education and for cheaper too. i think it depends on what experience you prefer/can handle/want but it’s definitely possible to make art/animation art your living without higher education. the thing that college will for sure give you though is the ability to meet deadlines, work even when you dont want to, and connections with peers+teachers. i think the connections part is invaluable because you’re basically coming out with a network of people you already know and who know you! 

also its good to know if you want to attend/can handle art school! it’s a lot of time and energy and students get burned out really fast. the best piece of advice i got before going was ‘if you draw every single day, even if its for only like 5-10 minutes or a doodle for a whole year you should be fine’ consistency is super key because you’re attending school to draw, and you’ll have to create work for stuff you aren’t excited for at some point or another. burnout is extremely real and the only reason i didn’t experience it was probably because i got super into drawing naruto fanart again inbetween sophomore and junior year! it helped give me something to draw seperated from school which is the only thing i was drawing for since i had entered rip. a heads up id also consider myself a workaholic so i fit in ok with the ‘art school’ environment but it is suuper unhealthy. if you are fantastic at managing your schedule then it’s definitely possible to take care of yourself! freshman year i got 8 hours a sleep a night and only pulled all nighters for some second semester finals at the end. sophomore year + up though i ended up prioritizing hw over sleep and like for sure, definitely shortened my life span. there’s another q down below where i’ll go more into detail but ya, be careful w ur work balance!

another tip especially for animation is knowing for a fact what type of animation you’re looking to go into, and what the school is offering. I didn’t think i’d get into art school at the time so i only applied to two places + decided if i didnt get into either id attend community to get credits out of the way while building portfolio. honestly? i did not do a lot of research LOL but like i did end up having the chance to tour and stuff! just know that each school will have a very different curriculum. The main differences are schools that prioritize 3D (cg animation, cg modeling, ect) and 2D/traditional (hand drawn, ‘oldschool’, digital or traditional based) this is a huge difference so make sure you do research for it! in most cases a 2D/traditional program will also offer 3D since it’s at the forefront of the industry animation wise rn. My school taught 2D but like hand drawn on physical paper 2D, frame by frame. while it was a good experience it’s super outdated because digital tools make it way faster + easier! i’d recommend looking for a program that is digital 2D over traditional 2D. 

if after your senior year covid is still affecting campuses in the US to keep them shut down i’d recommend attending a community college to get credits and then transferring into school. one of the negatives is paying money for gened classes when ur not there for them; if you can get them out of the way sooner and cheaper there is absolutely no negative + you could graduate earlier or use the extra time for better work or to work a job! 

these are all the general tips i think i’d give on like a broad basis of attending or not to think about? let me know if u have more q’s! someone asked q’s im answering below that go more into personal experiences + work culture so heres those:

- how many hours a week do u spend studying, in class, otherwise making art? like how much of ur life does it consume?

I was basically working on art.... 24/7! since i wasnt working a job at the same time i crammed as many credits as possible into my schedule so on avg i did 18 credit semesters (around 6 classes) art classes go for 6 hours and non art go for 3, so i’d spent around 30-35 hours in class a week! hw wise it varied on the class but combined it would be around 35-50 hours a week... im guessing? on average studio classes would have 8-10 hours of hw, maybe 5 for a light week, and gened classes 5 hours w them all combined. or this was probably how things were before junior year? junior+senior year i had thesis + everything else ontop.. i’d spend around 30-40 hours on thesis a week with other classes ontop of that bc my film was super long cus im a dummy! 

- is it hard going to art school n realising that altho u were probably quite talented… so is everyone else? Like. all of a sudden. ur not special and everyone seems as good as u, you know? More generally, how do u deal with comparison?

kinda?? i think instead of the idea of like you vs others it feels more of like a competition at first to be the best. this varies hugely on school culture though; my animation year was really friendly with each other and get along extremely well, so my answer to this is v different than some others who attended different schools. i think that the idea of ‘comparison’ only lasts a portion of the first year because at some point you realize that it’s not a who’s better as much as its a ‘these are my coworkers’ type thing? like healthy competition 100% because we’re all working to improve but i think most of us learned pretty early on that viewing each other as peers going into the same workforce helped a lot. also at some point everyone develops their own style/starts to develop their artistic preferences so there isn’t a way to compare whos 'better’ anymore? i dont think there ever is tbh because style is appealing based off of an individuals preferences. If anything realizing everyone else is also amazing makes you wanna work harder ig? or thats how i felt! it’s inspiring to be surrounded by so many people who create such amazing work. 

- is there a lot of workaholic culture? all nighter culture?

100000% there can be a workaholic and all nighter culture. i know people who avoided it and thats honestly fantastic because i fall super easily into that pit. sometimes i’ll pull all nighters on a personal project just because i really want to finish it... i am definitely considered a workaholic all the way through and its not healthy rip... i’d estimate at the worst i was pulling 2-3 all nighters a week and only 4-5 hours of sleep on the nights i didn’t? that was only for one year tho, after that i was like yeah ok this is really bad for my health in the long run LOL so i tried to cut it down to one all nighter a week and around 5-6 hours of sleep the rest of the week! by senior year my decision to cram in full semesters paid off and i was able to consistently get around 7 hours of sleep a night + no all nighters minus finals since my schedule was lighter despite thesis 😭 while there is that culture i don’t think people view it as like a badge of honor or something to be proud of anymore which is good, we mostly view it as a flaw of the art school system and something that needs to be fixed!!

- are you glad u did it? how did u know it was what u wanted?

i am glad i did it! i’m definitely in a limbo right now of if it was worth both my time, money, and my parents money rip but i think with what i got out of it i definitely wouldn’t be as far skill wise or knowledge wise when it comes to the art industry. i would say it was only worth it for be because i had so much support going in though so i was able to focus so much on improving. if i had only been able to put in part of the effort and not make full use of the resources provided i would honestly have a different answer.. 

i knew it was what i wanted when i realized i really couldn’t see myself pursuing a different profession happily! despite all the bumps and stuff im fully in love with drawing still and feel honored that it’s a field that can provide a living. my second profession choice was to go into culinary school? and third option i think going was into music cus i was also a band kid hehe.  

- how do u cope with ur hobby becoming ur job? how do u deal with art going from something u do for fun to something u do on command constantly?

i think seperating work art from personal art is important! in my case im doubling naruto into being personal work so i have something to fall back onto that isn’t work related. its been a hyperfixation for 12+ years? so drawing it at this point is just like personal art imo. some people have hobbies outside of art and only draw for their job! i think after attending classes for so long the idea of hobby turning into job feels extremely natural? also i enjoy doing it so thats a huge plus! 

sorry this is SO long but i hope i answered your guys’ questions! if you have more just lmk!

[bangtancuties]

interview tag ✨

-> the rules are to answer questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better :)

i was tagged by @kooseokss thanks for tagging me!! Hope you think these answers are cool and you get to know me a little better!! :)

name/nickname: Elke/Bubs pronouns: she/her star sign: Taurus height: 173 cm / 5'7 thats right Im like yoongis height haha time currently: 22:26! when is your birthday: April 24. I turn so old then <_> nationality: Dutch! favorite band/groups: bts, twenty one pilots, glass animals, cage the elephant, dayglow favorite solo artists: k.flay , tame impala song stuck in your head: your love (deja vu) - glass animals last movie you watched: hunchback of the notre dame last show you binged: the mandalorian, and also the muppets show lmao when you created your blog: oof okay so Im an old bitch and this blog has been around since december 2015 or so last thing you googled: “diabolo mechanics” it was for work lmao pls dont judge me other blogs: I do have an older blog floating around here somewhere focused on art reblogging/gaming but I dont use it anymore and have decided people will have to just accept whatever I post why i chose my url: seems pretty obvious 😩 bangtan are 7 cuties. Bangtanboys –> bangtancuties. Yes Ill take my creativity award now thank you how many people are you following: 300 or so but many blogs are inactive now theyre from the ✨old era✨ how many followers do you have: Id rather not say because its sad lmao average hours of sleep: 7-9 , I sleep a lot cuz work will bite me in the ass otherwise and Im an old lady now lucky number: lucky number 7 all the way instruments: I play multiple! Keyboard/piano, guitar and bass guitar. Panflute and ocarina too. And I like to sing but poorly! what i’m currently wearing: flannel shirt with mom jeans and some seriously ugly socks! dream job: I always wanted to be an artist for video games. So its pretty cool that thats what Im doing now. Getting to live my dream every day is a real treat although of course reality is different than the dream. Still worth it! dream trip: Id really like to visit asia again. Visiting China was honestly incredible and Id love to visit it again as well as south korea, japan, taiwan and vietnam, where Ive never been. favorite food: I love lots of things! So a couple favourites: peking duck, kimchi stew, a good old dutch stamppot, ahha favorite song: well fuck me up this is mega difficult and my style and music changes all the time . Ill pick 3, for now: Can’t Sleep - K.Flay Hot Rod - Dayglow Alrighty Aphrodite - Peach Pit top three fictional universes you’d like to live in: Harry Potter, Star Wars , Pokémon!

As for tagging; I dont know all that many people so lets see ! @caiider @transrightsjimin @lifegoesmon @kimdaily @smilingtaehyung yee ok sorry this is all I have I really need more tumblr pals 😩😩 thanks for tagging me though this was fun!

[spearxwind]

here’s a tutorial i did a while back!! my method still hasnt changed :3  https://spearxwind.tumblr.com/post/179890767199/hey-windy-if-you-feel-up-to-it-could-u-give-us

yeah, the whole mirium incident happened 6 years ago, and adri is only 5 so he had nothing to do with the initial incident. the way it DOES come back to him.... is that his purpose for being made was to be able to destroy it and fight back the spreading of it, which was otherwise impossible before then. 

he’s made of a slightly different material than the original mirium. a mirium type-B if you will. as you can see though he backfired spectacularly since he destroys everything else instead

i actually did two “tutorials” back in the day but now that i look at them theyre kinda cringey art-wise jskdfhls.  but they still hold up pretty well 

https://spearxwind.tumblr.com/post/164525192924/mmmmmm-i-hope-this-covers-everythign-im-so-sorry-i

https://spearxwind.tumblr.com/post/164213082254/i-drew-a-shitty-teeth-tutorial-for-my-friend-but

that’s all my logistics for drawing teeth, though lately ive been putting a lot less care into it. eventually i might make another tutorial set but idk! 

here’s some good tutorials by reylay who’s art i love 

https://twitter.com/LorekeeperWren/status/1202662933517484037?s=20 https://twitter.com/LorekeeperWren/status/1134159074650730496?s=20

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH,,, I WISH I COULD HAVE CHICKENS SOMEDAY

ill probably never be able to but god itd be so cool. i think everyone who has chickens and takes proper care of them is cool as hell 

it’s set in an alternate earth many many years into the future. the whole planet has been mechanized, we’ve achieved common space travel and all that, and capitalism is essentially rampant.  the world isnt ending or anything but plants and wild animals are rare and all anyone cares now is about money and making it through the day so no one gives a fuck about “crime” anymore. the definition of it has become very different from ours 

i dont have a specific story in mind rn, but i do know that leon, archer and romeo are fighting against baron and spectre as they (well. baron) is the reigning top dog in their city section thing and is kind of a tyrant

the world is already fucked so there’s no ‘save the planet’ subplot or anything im honestly just here for robots and mechanical nonsense 

WELL i dont know about funky but i love reading historically gross stuff. the mellified man. the boats torture method. the russian sleep experiment. 

if i had to talk about actual history lessons tho id talk about the one dude in asia back hundreds of years ago who pulled the sickest bluff of all time. an army marched into the city and the guy was a good strategist (he had a reputation too) but he didnt have ANYTHING to fight back this army with. so he met the army by sitting alone in the middle of the entrance with tea?? and offered the opposite leader some tea casual as fuck

and the enemy was like “bro... this dude is a famous strategist... dudes got something up his sleeve for sure” and they just fucking left without attacking

god i have no idea where id start... i’ve had so many ocs and so many stories. the ones i post about constantly are the ones that have been the most stable but man back when i was on hatena, before joining deviantart i had so many stories. foxes and wolves and dragons but all drawn in that specific style and i had stories about being one person against the world, 

how do you feel about crunching fruit pits as well. everything goes through the cruncher with this man

hell yeah!!! they deserve it 

klfdjdlkdsfkh IM GLAD!!! im love him sm,, 

[order-progress]

I used to have a really entitled outlook on life. In my mind though, I was entitled to my thought processes because it was where my mind existed in the place having had come from a once far more turbulent era. Back then I didn't question things that werent outwardly obvious. I didnt question the unremarkable identities of things that exhibited no distinctions amongst one another. Life was a stream of experience, and I just did the best of choices I decided to arrange, or really actually, more like shuffle choices into a messy pile and pat myself in the back cause I could squint at it my mismatched pile of non related events and not feel guilty for putting off routine, structure and goals.

I guess it isnt so surprising to anticipate that like all my other experiences, disicpline would present itself when and if I needed it to be summoned out of wherever creative and yet very hard to imagine location i would imagine it arriving at some future, ambiguous date, just in time to make no work look like fancier no work and with ribbons on it.

Something very common happened to me, something that is happinning right now all around the world, no matter how many days, or years after i first posted this here.

My boyfriend broke up with me.

I wore my entitlement pretty high that day, because somehow, despite there having been no carefully executed plan made on ky end--some masterpiece scheme of genius where one could really see there existed some reasonable and healthy attention to tackle to fucking problem.

Nope. My mother fucking entitled ass decided id actually be shocked. Not even fake shocked. Thats how you know you have lost touch with your surroundings, because big things happen in your wake..while your awake and yet somehow your stuck on who killed the butler in the library with the candle stick.

What makes this one of the most significant event despite its occurance being fairly common globaly, is that his presence had caused me to become more aware of more of the things I would have otherwise taken in stride, none of these events were remarkable on their own, but collectivelly, I had inadvertantly cleaned up my mindspace to find neatly organized clusters of thoughts no longer blending into the subconcious like 70's urban grafitti.

I didnt hold that moment to some disporportionately skewed sugar coating scale just to get ribbons on them after they were organized,I just acknowledged them, like a breath,where as before, they were simply obstacles or pit stops that would perpetuate the chronic attention deficit I had welcomed into my head. I like to think of ADD as the worlds most innefective street sweepers, they sweep alright, but they just make a bigger mess and then you got things in places they have no business being in.

I was in a place of low self worth because of an accumulated collection of short lived and half assed adventures, disastrous endeavers and the nefarious presence of something so obscured, so black and forboding, made me avoid certain places for simply not wanting to deal with the house keeping it wouldve required to mitigate its destructive intentions.

I kept myself busy to not force the acknowledgent that this would become a source of not only my insecuruties, but then in addition to its ever increasing interconnectedness, its complexity. Its chambers that hardened like a mystical kight of armor, whose drawers were full of destructive objects and thoughts that rattled in their confinement as a means of foreshadowing something so sinister, I could not then yet fathom the destrutive ways its icy talons would engulf and twist into my everyday life simply to create chaos, and it didnt register that this was a problem because amidst this battle royale of fragments and bits of poorly put together patterns, Francisco's presense was a light whose emimation lulled me into a complacecy I hadnt anticipated

It wasnt that in this period, that I conciously made a decision to disregard the growing issue, it was the novelty of being in a loving, beautiful and mature relationship with someone that as each day grew, so did my conviction that this person was becoming the brightest fixture in an ever cramped confined hallway of possibilities.

As I stood there aware of this moment, feeling a satisfaction and a gratitude I had never felt before, I realized that I had come so far on autopilot, it was a move that was almost instinctual, I rolled my sleeves up, put on the rocky theme song, got my gym bag ready, went and bought like every stupid unessecary stupid trinket shit people buy to feel like their getting a handle and a good start on some shit, but really it just becomes the infuriating bag of junk that is now the obstacle between you and the door handle to exit your car and actually start your project.

I felt a sense of urgency, I saw how unequipped I had been and while I was and it was this moment that taught me how much I loved him. I reckognized that somehow I was one of those fucking weirdos that jumped through those seedy ass short cut type scenarios in life to give you the same effect of the real thing in less the time, kind of like a GED vs high school diploma, or plan b instead of condoms.

I recognized that there was an innate element of unneccesary risk involved in many of my accomplishments. The risk was usually always a concious decision that I would accept a certain amount of totally unnecessary consequences that typically would define the life of those people who you catch specific glimpses of in mysterious times like dawn or dusk. And be like..yea i could totally see that guy having to figure out what to do with the llama he inherited as a result of some gamble.

This was no longer an acceptable risk. It wasnt that i thought it was dangerous or scare him away, its that I am not the kind of man that wakes up and sees the problems his factory has and finally knows how to fix it and then just be okay with going to bed and put it off.

This is where I get annoyed again. I knew that I wasnt capable of actively doing something against him, because we both agreed on things, and also neither of us was completely high as fucking kite on methamphetamines while operating a forklift to tune a paino yet.

I couldnt ever feel bad about atheletes who ugly cried after being disqualified for juicing to get an unfair advantage in the sports world.

Yet once again my overwhelming confidence, my lovable man mentality of "fuck a map or tools you got grit, spit and teeth". Prevailed.

Im mad because it was this moment right here. In a sea of me being happy to grow and learn and doing the rignt thing. I saw a place i overlooked, its presence was almost like a marker that there were many other areas i needed to work on, and i got sad.

I didnt feel good enough. I felt like a mess. I felt dissapointed at the pride in nothing I had taken so many times. I was finally proud of the changes i was making again, only to be reminded in a very real way of how I never had structure, never had a fail safe implemented effectively to instead of adopting either anxiety or no fucks about an event that could have been in my power to mitigate, i either didnt even notice I missed it, or didnt care.

As I started seeing the mountain of work I had to do, I wondered what it meant about how effectively i could handle other things moving forward, it was an irrational fear that I had that I would dissapoint him because I wanted us to be happy. But i am an artistic person, people who work with details to make a larger picture learn early on how to work details, and I never evaluated just how shoddy my altertanitive crash course was like getting PlAN B instead of putting a condom on.

I can handle pressure effectively. I can be okay with my decisions. What I cant do is open up a factory, see everything that was negelcted when I now know how to fix it, and then go to sleep like nothing bothered me.

I never in my life found myself in a place where i came face to face with old life and it made me feel sad or humilated. I felt like a fraud for just having gotten lucky that everytning worked out, while he worked hard.

I suddenly felt something I never experienced before, fear in love. The moment where you realize your not a piece of shit because you actually dont want to let someone down, the moment when you feel bad because you walked around in life with luck you didnt give a second thought to and passed it off as hard work. And here was this beautiful man, whose life was suffering and hard work, and you realized all of it at once, and there I was, eager fucking beaver captain america man of the house cause now i feel like a god damned engineer since i could assemble an ikea 3 piece wrench-back the fuck up motherfuckers.

I just felt humbled and i felt driven. I also felt the pressures rise up around me and I dont know why I couldnt look away from the sight of the realization of how id been. And its not like i did it all on purpose, but from that moment on, it was as if I had something to prove to myself that at that time I couldnt understand yet because I hadnt reflected yet. And as I was taking the scenic route on ways to "punish yourself is actually how we fucking motivate ourselves around here cus were fucking men" the bigger I created something inside me that wasnt ever there. And then as the places that I had been tendering to and growing in started to not be kept, pressure in my life at home happened. And for the first time in my entire life I was embarrassed at my life.

I remember the moment I felt it, my mom leaving me at work after I lost my car. I walked 2 miles in the cold because i was infuriated that I allowed another event I could have forseen to happen.

I never in my life reflected this intensley on my actions before. Having him in my life made me realize I had been holding myself to a higher standard because I am at my best when I when I am actively building towards something. I opened a place in me I never saw with those eyes and it hurt me. I tried to let him in, and to be honest, the insecurities of him seeing all that mortiified me..not because I would be seen as a slob or this or that, i was just dissapointed that I for a time during when I needed it the most in my early life, I wasnt necessarily taught healthy ways to do things. Mostly because I came to this country at 10, didnt know english, parents worked all the time until i was 16 and then dad got sick with brain cancer and we caught it after he had a seizure cause dad apperently loved moonlighting as my biggest fan when he would go reading my journal at night.

I didnt know how to explain it to francisco. I was feeling. New concept, i was feeling out of sync, i didnt understand why it hit me so hard. I was trying to look away and orient myself on the present.

I could have just dealt with that. But i suddenly felt raw and vulnerable. My boyfriend and I were getting into arguments because I just wanted us to be closer due to this need i didnt know how to vocalize about what I was going through, and he hesitated because he probably thought id leave him if i saw his dirty secrets.

That was the one thing he really never appreciated about my love. I just knew. If everything else was as evident ..like this feelings and where they came from and how to process them healthy while ...it just all got too much. I didnt know how to tell him what I needed. I just needed him.

I started to feel like i wasnt tethered to the focused areas I was so eager to work in. I just kept telling myself communication is key we will get through it.

Then I the drugs did something I didnt expect them to. They turned off this guilt and switch. They gave me the quiet to make them come down to a more manegeable place where I wasnt overwhelmed anymore.

Because I couldnt process this in words at the time, i didnt know how to express that to him. It led to me feeling guilty for not understanding why i enjoyed doing the drugs aside from the stimulant effect. When i tried to explain it to him, it was like trying to coin a cheesy motto for a doomed cereal commercial in french, basically everuthing sounded like something he had no understamding or could relate to.

I started feeling depressed because i could see that although from his perspective we were fighting..

I was even more frustrated becauese we werent fighting. I was pretty much crying, trying to tell him in french something he didnt understand while he was yelling at me in english about me not respecting him by not speaking english.

This was the worst fucking part. Because part of the issue that led me here was accountabiliyy and communication.

I kept telling him in the only way i knew how.please im sorry i know things are getting worse. But this isnt how we are.

I thought we could get through anything.

In his mind he saw a piece of something, he ignored my emotional attachment to it..and i mean i cant blame him, other people never quit.

But even in those moments i knew i wasnt going to be other people.

And suddenly i was alone. I was depressed. I had realized that it wasnt us that was th issue so i tried so hard to communicate more effectively that he got frustrated and said i talked in loops. I felt so alone because i understood his frustration and i just needed him to trust me. But that was the perfect storm when i just got so alone feeling from his inability to just not look at me how i felt at myself. And i honestly tried to fix it in the middle of him running away and the most painful thing was that he couldnt understand and i didnt know how to say it.

I dont blame him for leaving

But a part of me breaks to my very core to know that if he just literally lookrd at me like yes i was going crZy but i was just hurting and overwhelmed.

All i wanted and needed was him.

The worst. Pain was that he didnt see that.

And i needed to explain it. And he didnt let me.

I felt like i was desperatly trying to express something of real explaination. I just honestly was desperate to because he was running.

I

[bigowlenergy]

Notes on Gender, Ethnicity, and Culture

At the heart of the etoneki conflict/drama is nothing more than culture clash.

Eto may be amazing at studying others and have replicated humanity well enough to be a respected author among humans without anyone finding any clues to her ghoul nature, not even Haise in RE: - but she is still someone who was raised by ghouls. Her base nature is as a ghoul, from the 24th ward specifically. Naturally, there’s going to be some confusion between her and Kaneki, who was raised by humans.

But that leaves the good good question of what those differences should be. Clearly, some should be tiny, but there NEED to be huge misunderstandings bc I live for that kind of drama. Also, it’s a slowburn, so. that’s how it is.

this is long, and tagged for spoilers for a good reason. nothing specific, but if u like being surprised by the plot in ur grapefruit, go no further as of chapter 5

1) Ghouls have ABO while humans do not. Sure, there was a decently long time where Kaneki lived among ghouls, but can u picture early chapter Touka willingly sitting him down and giving the birds and the bees and the grasshoppers and also the spiders Talk? I think not. Maybe Kouma? Itori would. Like, they’d both kill him dead with it, but they would. And knowing the contexts within another culture doesn’t mean that you have assimilated those words/concepts to your own yourself, or that you actually know every single social detail, especially as it applies to others.

...but Eto does. And human gender/sexuality is fairly simple on the whole, except when it isn’t, so she has a leg up on him there.

plus, the way I have the ABO structured, it makes a bit more sense for him to be less aware of it, since his gender, as perceived by ghouls, is the most privileged one. Especially since its associated with deliberate power gain, which he totally played into during the later half of the first TG, so it would be a natural assumption for ghouls to make that he understood that he was acting exactly as his gender is socially expected to. and in a way that would socially cement his powerful omega status.

Tsukiyama would totally say something about it, since with the whole affluent family thing he’d probably be very aware of gender and social dynamics, but anything shuu says can be followed by “and he called me a cabbage in French last week, so okay shuu, whatever poetics ‘omega’ means to u, go ahead, have your fun buddy.” Banjou, who was involved with Rize, would be too worried about offending him or making it embarrassing to say anything. and as a ghoul even lower than shuu, he’d be super conservative about getting up in an omega’s business. It would just be this ambiguous open secret that everyone but Kaneki is totally, painfully aware of. the gasmask trio find this hilarious. Hina is a wee bab whose parent was a doctor for ghouls, so she just accepts her big bro as is.

so there’s eto’s expectations to be basically an underling to someone powerful as a normal, comfortable relationship dynamic, pitted against kaneki’s human-embedded inclination toward monogamy and not something that feels like weird bdsm domination stuff. they each are expecting a certain treatment from one another, and not getting it. eto feels neglected, since he isn’t all in her business and allowing her to settle in the shadow of his power and just ride things out, and kaneki, with only human expectations for sex, gender, and whatever the hell just happened, expects the worst from her as the “““male”““ in the relationship who manipulated him.

the conflict is that neither happens.

all of the power is on his side of the court, but in human terms, it feels like the opposite - vis a vis, human misogyny and all the horrible expectations for a sex and reproduction based marriage system that go along with that.

which is why i’ve inverted all that to make myself feel better :)

2) i kicked knots out bc idk about that business, but there have to be other physical differences. there have to be, or its boring. and then again, since both are hybrids, what should either have?

i’ve decided eto will have all physical differences or a learned equivalent due to ghoul socialization, while kaneki should have none but whatever was forced on him through his kakuhou - ie, pheromone stuff, but nothing more.

ghouls can purr, bc i am weak to that shit. Kaneki is aware of this. it’s just a Thing that they do. he’s read to Hina and she’s fallen asleep purring before and it was adorable. irimi purrs very quietly when she cleans things. uta is a purr machine when he makes masks, and it knocks yomo out unless he’s drunk, then he just purrs like a truck engine from the floor near uta’s desk for three hours. touka hasn’t purred since ayato left

eto purrs when she’s satisfied with her writing flow, which is one of the main reasons she prefers to work alone in her apartment and keep shiono out. otherwise, she doesn’t mind company. she also purrs when happy, like most ghouls. kaneki does not. i can site Haise’s RC scan on this: since he never took damage to the throat, he never had a chance to heal ‘more ghoul’ in that area.

so the exchange of a happy eto, deeply content with their uneasy peace, purring to express such delight, meets a blank wall that doesn’t agree. her social expression of happiness clashes up against kaneki only maybe leaning toward physical affection and being quiet. he can understand that she is happy, and she can understand that he can’t respond in the same way, but the dynamics of their relationship make her doubt her actions and get instinctually afraid of doing something wrong and upsetting someone much more powerful than her who also decides if she is allowed to reproduce with him or not. and stops purring and gets unsettled. kaneki is only confused and maybe she doesn’t like being touched? time to touch less. oh no, she did do Something Wrong and now omega is mad at her!! interpersonal drama escalates on both sides >:3c

ghouls have great night vision. kaneki also does and you know why. youve read the series. full ghouls have tapetum lucidum in both eyes, but eto only has it in her single ghoul eye. her vision is unbalanced in the dark but due to her learning to compensate for the slight reduction in light capture on one side she gets by just fine. it also parallels nicely with arima’s poor eyesight and learning to compensate for it.

ghouls are crepuscular while humans are diurnal, but this doesn’t matter since neither of etoneki know what a sleep schedule is. and the 24th ward doesn’t experience day/night cycles, so they have their own issues with sleeping when safe, do not sleep when not safe.

ghouls tend toward pack structure, but not in a rigid way where there can only be one omega/powerful ghoul per unit. as long as everybody gets along personally, its fine. omega don’t see each other as competition. alpha toss themselves at their feet without prompting. they’re not a scarce resource. alpha don’t even really fight over omega unless completely affected by heat and rut cycles and unable to grasp the concept of maybe next time. but even that is rare, mostly only those who are jealous as a person attempt this. if alpha fight over an omega and one wins, the omega might just kill them for taking away some of their prospects, or might be impressed by the show of strength. or annoyed by it, bc they want weak underlings. depends on the person. (eto is more than a bit possessive, at least for his first heat.)

more on this point as i think of it.

3)  I haven’t specified kaneki’s personal gender identity for a reason. that reason is that i’m not sure what direction i want to go. this is strictly for maman, not Sugar, which is trans girl Sasako forever. for this piece of feti/sh garbage? whom knows! (I know. and until word of god says otherwise - i’m god - every character is trans.)

but really, there’s options. and i love them all.

A) kaneki was trans all along. hide is best bi bud. aunt was a bitch, but nothing worse than canon since he was closeted at the time, although he doubly prepared to never speak to her again. (true neutral)

B) woke up a ghoul and with new parts. why believe a species change but not a sex change, eh? heightens the early game confusion and search for id as a person whose major ids have changed against his will. (lawful neutral)

C) gradual transformation. like how he came into his strength as a ghoul slowly. read a doujin like this once. was okay. quality art, big titties, 8/10. ngl would read the sequel. (Perhaps I am writing the sequel? aren’t we all just chasing our Brands across the lonely internet, hopping from one computer virus to the next? maybe u die reading hentai, or u live long enough to see urself post to ao3.) (chaotic neutral)

D) heals himself a new set of parts due to intense damage. see the haise RC chart, which has a ton of pathways around the hips/torso area. parallels with cutting eto in half?? (also lawful neutral)

E) started happening as a transformation when eto’s pheromones triggered his heat cycle for the first time. boy would he be pissed at her X2 lmao (lawful evil)

F) transformation during #240 time due to losing all memory and only having instinct to structure his body with, and just enough RC pathways to make a hormone based transformation possible. Chiba would have had a field day, but also would have torn out his horrible bowl cut in confusion. get rekt bud. not even #240 knows wtf goin on (neutral evil)

G) maybe he just wanted a vag! thought about that?? learns he is supposed to be able to manipulate his flesh like his kagune, which he is canonically great at, and just Goes For It. it works. he is a strong, dependent idiot who don’t need no dick. (iconic)

H) same as above, but that’s just what Haise does when he has the reigns. looks deep into his pastless self and asks ‘do i have to put up with this cis nonsense? not today.’ (chaotic iconic)

I) it happens suddenly when he activates his kakuja for the first time. queer the monster transformation u wish to see in the world. just. so confused. but also there’s Guilt to be felt about banjou and amon and such, so that’s back burner. (chaotic evil)

okay, so in like fifteen minutes i was able to name 9 perfect opportunities for ishida to carry though the motif of 1)iding with female ghouls 2)paralleling with canon trans man mutsuki 3)litcherally having a female ghoul organ donation fiasco 4)being associated with vacillating between masculine yang and feminine yin black/white 5)having a narrative that revolved around accepting his body and learning to find his own strength and id that is different than what he was born with - but coward ishida stopped sixty miles short of the mark. fool. I Cannot Feast Upon Crumbs, Sir. Sir, You Have Given Me Airplane Peanuts For Supper. Sir, I Am Starving And Antagonistic At Best.

(i shouldn’t call him a coward. three huge series magically having the same Wife And Kids ending all during the time shinzou abe is in office? probably not a coincidence. hope they got a good payout for it. i’d sell out for that $$$ too tbh)

eto is just an alpha. her human social id is a Normal Human Female Who Is Totally Cis and Straight for maximum social acceptance and ease of integration, but that’s only her mask. her personal id is an alpha, which is cis by ghoul standards, and she uses she/her pronouns bc she feels like it. she has the power to id as above alpha, but she enjoys the social invisibility it gives her, since she can blend in the background whereever and noone looks at her presumably weak ass twice. like chie, but for nefarious purposes.

....does that make her the equivalent of a ghoul feminist? i’m getting Too Deep

4) the wards can be isolated and far apart, and its been explored in canon with the Three Blades family and the white suites - congrats u 2 - and ghoul organizations that have a home ward having distinct cultural differences from one another. small ethnic groups and isolated diaspora? natives? subset?? of whatever the 24th ward ghouls - sorry, tokyo humans - are.

this sort of thing is only tangentially related to kaneki. if someone with a texas accent teaches someone to speak english, that person will have that accent, whether they’v ever been to texas or not. so he has some of the social mannerisms of a 20th ward ghoul, but generally still has a lot of ingrained human attributes to confuse them.

5) i’m still fascinated by the half finished thought about there are just some ghouls who become binge eaters in canon. like Rize wasn’t special for it. I think shinohara mentioned this?? but. it makes sense. general food insecurity, lack of permanent social support, total oppression, absurd power levels, plenty of humans to take it out on...ye.

and kaneki has the kakuhou of an adult binge eater. there’s cool hints of the kakuhou being parasitic, so a mature one would def fall into the biological fulfillment of binge eating for strength and carry that genetic knowledge into a new host. and from there, it would induce cravings, serotonin reward systems, and all that good stuff to get what its come to like.... like, mayhaps, a cordycepts? ;)

well, i’ve put ‘binge eater’ down as just a general omega trait, since it feels authentic to do so, so we’ll see what i do with this in the future. i will also see, since i too am ignorant of my own self. what will my horny subconscious do next? i am usually the last to know.

anyway,

peace

[i-am-a-closet-fanfic-fiend]

Missed Connections ~ Steve Rogers x Reader College! AU (Part 7/7)

A/N: Hello my lovelies. So it’s here. The end of the story. I just want to thank you all for reading and commenting and reblogging and liking and everything. I have loved writing this particular story. I hope you enjoy the ending. It’s a little something to wrap up. There will also be an epilogue posted some time this week. All that being said, I really really love these two dorks, so if you have questions about them or things you want my headcanons for send them to me please!! I’d love to answer them (this goes for all of my stories BTW)

Anyways thank you thank you thank you! Enjoy! 

Summary: Reader and Steve have some alone time after the dance

Characters/Pairings: Steve x Reader, the others are mentioned 

Rating: T for language 

Warnings: none really 

Word Count: 1154

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Epilogue  

There was some mutual chastising for meddling and the subsequent payback, but overall everyone was just happy to see you and Steve together. Conversation was soon set aside in favor of dancing. Your group was large enough to form a small mosh pit and somehow managed to push you and Steve to the center.  

As the night wound down, everyone was directed out onto the balcony for the surprise finale. Steve moved to follow the rest of your friends but you stopped him. When he shot you a questioning look and gestured towards the crowd of people, you simply shook your head and winked before dragging him towards the back exit.

“Y/n, where are we going? We’re gonna miss it.”

“No. we’re about to have the best seat in the house,” you smirked knowing he had no idea what the surprise was. “Come on.”

Once you were outside you led him down the dirt pathway and over the bridge to the docks. You pulled off your heels and tucked your legs under you, trailing your fingers against the rough wood. He hesitated for a moment before following suit, sitting cross-legged beside you.

“What are we doing out here? What’s the surprise?”

“Watch.”

Just as he turned his attention to the sky above the opposite bank where you were pointing, the first round of fireworks lit up the night.

“Wow,” he breathed out quietly.

You glanced over when you heard him moving around beside you.

“Where are you going?” you asked, surprised to see him getting to his feet.

“Just making myself more comfortable,” he grinned moving behind you.

His hands settled on your waist, pulling you closer so you could rest your head on his shoulder and lace your fingers over his.

“Ooh. I like this much better,” you admitted.

“Thought you might,” he rumbled in your ear, making you giggle.

You stayed cuddled like that long after the last sparks faded from the sky.

“You know, I’m really glad you posted that missed connection,” you murmured turning to smile at him. “Otherwise I’d still be avoiding eye contact and giggling every time you walked by.”

He looked a little surprised by your confession. .

“You were giggling because of me?”

“Oh yeah. Every time. I have zero poker face, so the second I would see you coming I would get this big dopey grin and look at the ground because I was flustered and I thought you would think I was a dork. But once you’d passed I couldn’t get rid of the nervous giddy feeling so I’d end up giggling.”

“I thought you were just always happy,” he admitted, “When I wrote that confession, I didn’t really think you’d even know who posted it, but I figured asking you to smile my way was an easy way to find out if you had even noticed me.”

“Notice you? I was looking for you as soon as I started classes.”

The words slipped out before your brain could shut you up and you quickly pressed your lips together. You toyed with his tie as you leaned against his leg, mortified.

“Does that mean you remembered me from your orientation?”

Your eyes flew to his in surprise.

“How did you know that?”

He offered you a crooked smile as he stroked your cheek.

“Because I remember you of course. I had seen you early on day one but you weren’t in my group so I didn’t see you for the rest of the day. But then you came down to the dance floor at the party that night and your friend asked me to teach you both the SHIELD shuffle. I did but then you went to get your free t-shirt and I had to switch assignments with somebody else before I got the chance to actually talk to you.”

You could feel the broad grin stretching across your face.

“I assumed you met so many people that summer, you’d never remember me.”

“I couldn’t forget you.”

His hand slid from your cheek to cup the back of your neck and you pulled him closer by his tie. You both moved slowly, savoring the moment before your lips finally met. The kiss was soft but exciting and Steve pulled you entirely onto his lap as you tangled your fingers in his hair, clutching yourself even closer.

You stayed on the docks for a few hours, talking and kissing. When you simply couldn’t keep your eyes open anymore Steve insisted on going back to the dorm.

Yawning, you pulled your ID from your purse and swiped it at the station outside the security desk. You offered them a sleepy smile as you showed them the ID and Steve did the same before wrapping his arm around your waist. You leaned your head against his shoulder, and sighed happily.

As you walked past the dining hall, you realized two things: one, late night was still open and two you were starving. Steve took one look at your face and steered you inside.

“Why don’t you find us a seat and I’ll go get us food.”

“Sounds good,” you sighed.

He kissed your cheek and hurried into line for food. As you scanned the room for an open booth you could cuddle up in, you heard Sam call your name.  

Looking over, you found your friends piled into the long booth, smirking at you. They had clearly been there since the party ended because they were all still dressed up and waggling their eyebrows at you.

You were sure you looked a mess – your dress was rumpled, your heels were dangling from your fingers, and Steve’s suit jacket was draped around your shoulders. You knew what they were thinking, and on some level you felt you should be embarrassed, but the truth was you couldn’t find it in you to care.

With false reluctance you joined them, sliding in next to Bucky at the end of the booth.

“Hey, doll,” he grinned. “Where’d you disappear to? You missed the fireworks.”

“I think she was busy making fireworks of her own,” Tony grinned.

You rolled your eyes in response, turning away as you answered your phone.

“Hey you.”

“Hey, where’d you end up sitting?”

“Follow the sounds of the obnoxious people,” you smirked at them but shrieked when Bucky poked you in the ribs.  

“Oh so you found our friends,” he joked.

“Exactly. Big booth on the far wall.”

“I see you.”

You looked up and saw Steve walking towards you and as he smiled at you, you couldn’t help but think back on the night all those months ago when you first read his missed connection. That one missed connection had turned into a half dozen new friendships and you couldn’t be happier. And as he slid in next to you and wrapped his arm around your waist your smile grew. You could get used to this.  

A/N: So there it is. In case any of you were wondering when they first saw each other. I hope you enjoyed this! As I said there will be an epilogue, but also any headcanons/burning questions you have send them my way! Thank you again for all your love and support. It means everything to me. 

I also have a ton of ideas that I’m currently fleshing out so I plan on posting an update on all those soon so stay tuned. 

Thank you my lovelies! 

xoxo Naynay

Missed Connections Tag List @lovethroughthemiles @lamia-maizat @trashcanfullofdork @angry-chipmunk @sukeraa @toastmaster94 @ajduurikscjsja @wordlesscaptain @hurricane--amelia

Steve/Chris Tag List @isaxhorror @peachykeen3502

Marvel Tag List @hdthdthdt   @sophiatomlinson23 @misty-panther @supermusicallee

Permanent Tag List @iamwarrenspeace @jayzayy @bexboo616 @neoqueen306 @santheweird @rowenaravencalw @buckitybarnes @prxttybirdz @the-marvel-dc-peasant @samwinchxtr @broitsmydick @ailynalonso15 @nyxveracity @queenoftrash97 @walkingtravesty97

[danieltrent]

vanilla chai latte, mocha, jasmine tea, old english, iced cafe mocha, hot chocolate, caramel macchiato, italian soda, sparkling water?

oh my god im so sorry i meant to answer this after i finished my assignment. anyway im getting around to it now!

Vanilla Chai Latte:Are you in love?naa, takes a lot to be in love with someone. I might say that I have people that I love, but I’m not in love.

Mocha:Dream Job?data analyst or something, because that’s why im at uni. there’s not really much that takes my fancy, but I can probably work with pretty much anything that doesn’t require too much creativity.

Jasmine Tea:If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?new zealand or canada, they’re the only two places I still want to tick off. probably NZ, the sights are nice and if I have a good camera it’ll be fun

Old English:You’re stranded on an island, who do you bring with you?would bringing them with me cause them the discomfort of being stranded? because id bring along ex-douche, pretend everything’s fine, build a deep pit, chuck him in it and leave him there.

otherwise, if they’re not made uncomfortable then I’d probably bring c or mandy. there’s not really anyone else i can think of anyway.

Iced Cafe Mocha:Favorite thing to do on rainy days?i dunno, i dont really do much outside so itd be the same as any other day. relax in my bedroom and play a game while talking to friend(s).

Hot Chocolate:Are you an affectionate person?yeah. like, a lot id say, with the right people. with partners im especially affectionate through physical touch and talking, with others i think i show it through other ways? idk how

Caramel Macchiato:You’re travelling the entire world but you can only take one person with you. Who do you take?see the island question above but ignore the ex-douche bit. also im not sure if mandy would be up for travelling the entire world non-stop (and tbh i dont know if c would either but she doesnt have a choice because its with me)

Italian Soda:Describe your dream datei mentioned this a while ago as like, a maybe-ish thing but i think ive grown used to the idea. i like the thought of driving up to a hill, and laying on the hood of the car / on a picnic blanket and looking up at the stars and talking into the night. and probably with like, light touching (hand holding is probably ideal?) idk its just nice, and it gives an atmosphere that encourages openness

Sparkling Water:Describe what qualities you look for in a personthey can hold a conversation (online and offline), theyre compassionate people who try to better themselves given the opportunity, theyre open to receiving love in the way that i tend to show it (eg. “i hate physical affection” probably wouldnt work)

[awhilesince]

Wednesday, 26 November 1828

Wednesday 26

6

11 25/60

Went out at 7 35/60 — with Mosey letting out the railing of the Cunnery brow to be ordered to the plantation and planted with oaks — then with Throp planting and the 2 wallers holing in the Cunnery plantation — came in at 9 1/2 — wet of my feet etc.

changing my things — breakfast from 9 3/4 to 10 1/2 — Letter 3 pages and ends dated yesterday from M— (Marianna) Scarbro’ — Dr B— (Belcome) buried at 10 on Monday morning — Steph and Mr Charles L— (Lawton) chief mourners — 8 of the principal gents (gents/gentlemen) of the town bearers — 3 mourning coaches and 8 gents’s (gents/gentlemen’s) carriages “most of the tradespeople attended in mourning and Charles said the church rows very full of respectable people — Mrs B—’s (Belcombe’s) income independent of Clifton £409 per annum that cannot be reckoned at less than £200 a year and surely on this with ���Harriet’s £160 they may all do very well” …. “I mentioned the £200 I had saved for William, which I said he might have next “June that I meant to give Duncan £50 to receive in India, and that I thought it was all that I could promise — such information “was very little expected, and was I must say, gratefully received by all parties” … does not think William will live “he cannot sit “up more than a few minutes, and some of the wounds are still unhealed” — meant to have left Scarbro’ on Thursday (tomorrow) “so little difficulty in making a decent alteration” … will continue there till next Monday — week, and then stay (1) or 2 in York — can I be ready by that time? — Note from Mr Wilbraham — think the rules excellent — make no alteration — mention of my misunderstanding with Mrs B— (Belcombe) on repeating the words “my mother never wished to see you again” all were in astonishment — Ann did not remember writing any such message if she did write it, declares “she must have been drunk or mad” — Mrs B— (Belcombe) “declared such an idea never entered her head, that on reading your message she said “tell Miss Lister that we shall some time meet again, meaning by that her manner when you did meet would convince you that the thing was forgotten” …. “my mother was mortified by your manner at Mr D—’s (Duffin’s) and thought you had no “inclination to forget, and consequently when you next met at Steph’s trying to make her manners as like yours as she could I really think my Freddy there has been a great and uncomfortable mistake, for all disown every intention of saying or writing anything that could be otherwise than conciliatory — whatever answer you send to this part of my letter I shall shew” — “Charles and Steph left us at 12 today. The former will meet us at Manchester” — 

Letter also from Miss MacL— (MacLean) (Whitehall London) 3 pages and the ends dated the 23rd instant — good account of herself — bids me not mind about Cameron, but sorry I have got a servant threatened with consumption — to propose her to Vere woud never do — can do without her — a nice girl at the lodging she is going to 1 December — why do I talk of a lodging here or there — shall I not be with her? — “as you do not choose to take any notice of and eventual “remarks I made in my letter of late which you are not so stupid as not fully to comprehend, I shall in future prevent my pen from touching on such a subject but I am much annoyed not by any presumption only anxious for his ssake to be soon dismissed this of course only to yourself I shall write not more on the subject and at range enough it is that this young man should be so in love with her or connexions surely it must be I do not understand it — “I shall now tell you all — he will tell you all has discovered — if you and he understand one another as I expect you will - she seems to have lost her watch and seals — Mr Long has had a “severe blow from his horse’s head this morning — but had infallible application his I hope prevented inflammation” — …. “It must be merit of no common kind that can overcome manners and appearance such as his together with a bad stutter, lisp and brogue which you will judge of soon — his manners I am sure will surprise you at first” — hopes to be well in six weeks “tho’ he shakes his head when I say so” — asks if thinking of her health as I do, and shall be afraid to “run the risk” of having her in Paris — better say so now than afterwards — she can spend the remainder of the winter with Mrs Hunter in Edinborough and then go home — Mr Long “thinks under the blessing of providence that my original excellent constitution will presently be restored — I do not doubt it myself” — Miss H— (Hobart) asked her to write on some subjects relating to Mr Long “and to send her a paper in which a violent attack was made on him — I granted her request, and tho’ she has twice written to me, I have no intention of keeping up a correspondence — she is an excellent and sensible person but I have nothing more to Do with her” — had left off her wigs — Mr Long detests them — “says they are the dirtiest things in the world — keep in disease etc. etc.” — 

Kind letter from Mrs James Dalton (Croft) 3 pages the ends and 2/3 the first page crossed — nothing particular —

having read my letter went upstairs at 10 1/2 — put on my old pelisse and things again — afterwards Greenwood came about the wood — went out with him at 10 3/4 — told him about the Sheep croft — He had begun to turn it into a timber yard without knowing whether I would take the £10 a year offered or not — told him to see Mr Briggs, and then I would decide — should never allow any steward to let for me, except with my expressive directions so to Do — £10. not enough — said it was worth £20 — He said he could have had a field near twice the breadth of ground for £20 — I said as for that I did not mean to charge him the full worth — he had it on uncertain tenure — to be given up at another time — He said he had begun to make his saw-pit, but would leave it to my honour — he would willingly split the difference —well! said I — you shall have it then from this Xmas (Christmas) rent day to next Xmas rent day at £10, and then afterwards shall pay £15/ per annum — he thanked me, and said he was much obliged, seeming very well satisfied — I see Mr Briggs is not to altogether to be trusted with letting the church pews ought to be raised — went to look at the wood lying in the Cunnery brow, Pump Lane, and Lower Brook Ing wood — the lot valued at £5.2.0 or £5.4.0 (ready money) he said was cheap enough —  I said the chap was ready, so he must give me some little advice — I said £5.10.0 — He said no — he would give me £5.12.0 — Asked what he thought it really worth — he said £7 — well! said I, that is right to say so — I am quite satisfied for you to have a good bargain — He said, he had looked at the 3 trees at Northgate — cheap enough at £4.11.0 (William K— (Knight) said they were done up to the height) he would give ten guineas for the whole and pay tonight if I would send John down, and lead away on Monday — John to go tomorrow evening for the money — so that he gives me 7/. over at the Northgate lot, and 10/. over at the other — Told me my Southowram stone he had heard was worth 7/. a yard — but would advise me to sell it by ticket and always to have 2 values, and take the medium between them and then stock to that price, and take no less — went back to the Cunnery plantation about 11 1/2 — set Throp and Nathan Sharpe to get up a beech — all our men and 2 horses snigged out the trees —at 12 55/60 had Mosey and his companion to fell some more firs at the top of the plantation and kept them doing (boughing also) till — Throp and the 2 wallers 1 1/4 hour at dinner — said it was too long these short days — must limit them to 1/2 hour — get the beech (sledged it on the little sledge with shafts) set in the Allen car (near the top in front of the house) at 4 1/2 — put[ting] well get up — hope it will do well — Throp seven more weeping wilows this morning making in all 15 — Told Mosey I would have 10 of the holes made in the morning left, and 10 more made  — his charge for this at 1 1/2 per hole = 1/3 — himself 2 half days and his partner one hole at 3/6 per day and 6 d. allowed for drinkings = 6/. would make no change for felling the few trees 2 mornings some days back, but said I would give him something to Drink for it — 

came in at 5 1/4  — dressed — Looked out M—s (Marianna’s) letter containing on one of the ends the message from Mrs B— (Belcombe) “Scarbro’ 31 March 1826 — Harriet did give your “message to my mother — she read it herself, and returned H— (Harriet) the letter, saying “probably Miss L— (Lister) and I may never meet again, ’tis better we should not” Ann told me this — She has” (meaning Mrs B— (Belcombe)) never mentioned your name to me, tho’ I have “given her opportunities” — (vide line 12 from the bottom of page185) Some difference between these 2 messages as stated now and in March 1826! 

Dinner at 6 1/4 — afterwards wrote the whole of today — Rather rainy and drizzly this morning — occasional rain after breakfast and more especially rain and drizzle towards 5 — after dinner; about 9, very heavy rain — came upstairs at 10 20/60 — still raining heavily — from the bottom line 12, page 185.

(SH:7/ML/E/11/0097) (SH:7/ML/E/11/0098)

https://www.catalogue.wyjs.org.uk/CalmView/Record.aspx?src=CalmView.Catalog&id=CC00001%2f7%2f9%2f6%2f11%2f97&pos=1

https://www.catalogue.wyjs.org.uk/CalmView/Record.aspx?src=CalmView.Catalog&id=CC00001%2f7%2f9%2f6%2f11%2f98&pos=1

[northshorehealthandfitness]

Tandoori Chicken Drumsticks with Mango Chutney

Back in the day when my family lived in Edmonton, my dad would often travel for business. My mum has never loved cooking and my dad was always the more keen chef, so when he was away, we knew it was more likely that we might get to go to a fast food restaurant for dinner.

I should preface this by saying that we didn’t eat fast food often – it was very much a treat reserved for when friends were coming for sleepover parties,  celebrating basketball and soccer team victories, and when dad was away.

I never had a favourite fast food spot, and I don’t think my mum or sister did either. This is why our little ‘tour de fast food drive thru’ was born. We had a McDonalds, Arby’s, KFC and Dairy Queen all within a 5 minute drive of each other, so on nights when we really wanted to have fun, we’d rent a movie from Blockbuster (remember when that was a thing!?), and my mum would drive the loop of these fine dining establishments.

We’d order our favourite items from each: roast beef sandwiches from Arby’s, McDonalds fries, Dairy Queen Mr. Misty’s (kinda like a slurpee) and Blizzards for dessert. Occasionally we’d also stop at KFC and pick up an order of their cinnamon twists, which were puffy, crunchy, twisty things coated in cinnamon sugar. They were deeevine, and if I knew how to make them at home, I would.

A family bucket of KFC’s chicken was sometimes on our fast food tour menu, and I always went for the drumsticks. I haven’t had a drumstick – KFC or otherwise – in years, and I think it’s because while reminiscing about these nights makes me smile, the thought of catching as much as a whiff of KFC these days makes my stomach flip flop. With all that said, in my recent work with MeatMe.ca (a company that sources ethically and sustainably raised meats from local farms), I was given some chicken drumsticks to create a recipe with.

You guys know I’m always up for a good kitchen challenge, and you also know that deep fried chicken isn’t quite my style. What I came up with was pretty darn tasty – and far better, if I may say so! I’ve been really into using heaps of warming spices lately, especially Indian-inspired combinations. Some of my favourite Indian dishes are tandoori cooked meats and veggies, which just means that they’re cooked in a clay pit-like oven over charcoal, usually in a marinade of yogurt and spices. Obviously, I don’t have a tandoori oven in my apartment, but I do have yogurt and a bunch of spices. And so, these Tandoori Chicken Drumsticks were born.

Tandoori style cooking is a pretty healthy method, just like baking or roasting in a regular oven, which is exactly what I did. About 30 minutes was all it took for these little guys to be golden and slightly crispy on the outside, yet juicy and full of Indian-inspired flavour on the inside. You could 100% apply the same marinade to different cuts of meat (or even tofu), but regardless of what you use, know that these are definitely a healthier option than fried chicken!

A quick note for my paleo and grain-free friends: You can easily make this a grain-free meal by swapping out the rice for cauliflower rice, and you’ll reduce your cooking time too. See the note at the end of the recipe for my tips for making it just as tasty.

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Tandoori Chicken Drumsticks with Mango Chutney

Marinated in a mixture of coconut yogurt and warm spices, these healthy Tandoori Chicken Drumsticks are full of Indian-inspired flavours.

Author: Angela @ Eat Spin Run Repeat

Prep Time: 15 mins + marinating

Cook Time: 45 mins

Total Time: 50 mins

Yield: 8 drumsticks

Category: dinner

Method: bake

Cuisine: Indian

Ingredients

For the chicken

1 cup coconut yogurt (or other non-dairy yogurt, to keep it dairy-free)

2 tbsp olive oil

2 cloves garlic, finely minced

1 tbsp finely minced or pureed ginger

2 tsp curry powder

1 tsp each ground cumin, paprika, coriander and turmeric

pinch of cayenne pepper and sea salt

8 chicken drumsticks

mango chutney, for serving

For the rice:

2 tsp olive oil

1 clove minced garlic

1 small shallot, minced

1/2 tsp curry powder

1 cup brown or wild rice blend (this will yield about 3 cups cooked, so you may have leftovers)

2 1/4 cups water or low-sodium vegetable broth

2 tbsp minced fresh cilantro or parsley

1 tbsp fresh lime juice

Instructions

For the chicken:

Stir together all ingredients for the marinade. (If you want it super smooth you can use a food processor, but if you mince or grate your garlic and ginger, there’s no need.)

Remove the skin from the drumsticks if you like, then toss them in a bowl or resealable bag and pour the marinade over top. Seal or cover and set them in the fridge for at least 3 hours – ideally overnight for the best flavour.

When ready to cook, preheat the oven to 400F. Line a baking sheet with foil and place a cooking rack over top to allow chicken juices to drip. Optional: rub the rack with coconut or olive oil for easier cleanup.

Place the marinated chicken on the rack and baste with any remaining marinade. Roast for about 35 minutes, or until the drumsticks are fully cooked. To crisp them up a bit, switch to the broiler setting for a couple of minutes at the end. (Monitor closely though – burning happens fast!)

For the rice:

Heat the olive oil in a medium sized saucepan for about 1 minute, then add the garlic, shallot and curry powder. Stir fry until fragrant (1 minute), then add the rice and vegetable broth.

Cover the pot with a lid and cook the rice for as long as the package indicates (this will vary depending on the type of rice, but brown rice typically takes ~40 minutes.) Check occasionally to ensure there is enough liquid.

Once cooked, drain off any excess liquid and stir in the cilantro or parsley and lime juice.

To serve:

Plate the chicken alongside the rice. Spoon chutney over top or serve on the side for dipping, then garnish with additional herbs and lime wedges if desired.

Notes

To make this recipe paleo, simply swap out the rice for cauliflower rice. Skip the vegetable broth and stir fry it in the garlic, shallot and curry powder until warm. Stir in fresh herbs once warm throughout.

Dinner tonight: Better-for-you Tandoori Chicken Drumsticks with Mango Chutney Click To Tweet

If you’re also craving warm Eastern-inspired food now that it’s getting chilly outside, be sure to also check out this Anti-Inflammatory Curried Salmon with Rice Biryani and Coconut Mango Chicken Curry!

So tell me… Do you have any recipes that need a makeover? Or, have you recently made over a less-than-healthy dish from your childhood with raving success? Do share!

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[sienna51d9616001-blog]

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[ladyintheshadows-blog1]

The Correlation of Sanity and Statistics

1

“Look, I myself don’t know why I’m doing this,” Nathaniel huffs in that usual exasperated tone he uses at Rebecca and her colleagues. “Do you wanna come or not?”

Rebecca stares at him in silent shock. A few days ago she just got jilted at the altar by the love of her life because he wanted to become a priest, of all things, for Heaven’s sake. That, in itself, is not only depressing in more ways than one but is also quite embarrassing on more levels than Rebecca would like to acknowledge. Honestly, is she that bad?

“I don’t have all day,” he says, eyeing his smart watch because yes, Nathaniel is the kind of person who wears a smart watch instead of a traditional analogue piece like most men of his stature and persona, a facet that Rebecca didn’t pay attention to until that fateful night inside the broken lift. Surely she read that whole scenario wrong?

She gulps down the lump in her throat because this is a big deal. Running away with her boss just shortly after her aborted wedding? And on such short notice?

But if anything, Rebecca needs this. Desperately. Boss or no boss, accidental kiss or no accidental kiss, she needs a break. A new perspective so to speak. And what better way to do that than to go on a vacation with her boss?

Yeah, it sounds totally sane.

“Give me a few minutes to get my stuff from upstairs,” she says then turns around but not before seeing the contented little look on Nathaniel’s face.

2

This story starts with Nathaniel scanning his Tripadvisor on a particularly boring night in his empty apartment. He had just gotten back from Rebecca Bunch’s aborted nuptials and Damn, he thinks, that woman certainly has enough baggage to last a normal person a lifetime.

But don’t they all?

The strangest part of it all though, according to Nathaniel’s slightly warped view of things, is that he understands her and on some rarely acknowledged, nigh-unidentifiable level, he can even sympathize with her because his life has had far too many disappointments as well.

And even from that first time that he met her in that conference room at Whitefeather and Associates, subconsciously, he had noted that there was a kindred spirit in her. He just didn’t know if it was going to be a good thing or a bad thing.

Not to mention that she was, and still is, by far the most competent person in the firm.

Anyway, it starts with Nathaniel scanning his Tripadvisor app on his phone.

But who’s to say it really started there at all?

3

The Japanese countryside is a beautiful, serene locale.

Not to mention that the difference between West Covina, in itself already considered as quite a peaceful place compared to what she was used to before, and Odawara is stark, Rebecca notes with a hint of surprise as she and Nathaniel slide out of the taxicab that has dropped them off at their destination, the Hilton.

The long-haul flight from LAX to Narita then the subsequent train ride from the airport to the countryside has exhausted them both thoroughly, even though they both flew First Class. (The Plimpton family jet was unavailable. Nathaniel didn’t really tell her the reason why.)

And from what Rebecca has read, Odawara was a resort town known for its hot springs and relaxing spas and boy, does she need one of those. The vindictive, angry part of her that had wanted to push Josh Chan into a pit full of snakes or make his life inside priesthood a living hell no matter what it took had already died down somewhat even though there were times inside the plane where Rebecca considered getting a turnaround flight back to West Covina to commence her quest for vengeance once they had landed in Narita. She’s angry. She feels betrayed. It’s just natural. But most of the time, something or someone would jolt her out of such musings and she would start to feel just how tired she is again and how tiring her life in general is.

So yes, she needs this. Revenge can wait until later.

4

They bunk in the same room, which is decorated in a Japanese minimalist kind of way with all its wooden flooring and natural lighting. When Rebecca had questioned the nature of their living arrangements, Nathaniel simply provided a veritable excuse: There were no more rooms available unless you want to trudge up in the middle of the cold at night in order to get to your room because this is the last Tatami room left and the rest are already cottages.

A claim which the receptionist had wilfully confirmed in heavily-accented English because yes, it is true that there were no more rooms left in the main hotel complex.

After that, Rebecca merely looked at him with a vague kind of suspicion before turning back to the receptionist to retrieve the keys to their room. Once they’re both safely in their hotel room with all their bags with them, both of them plop down simultaneously on the beds, with Rebecca taking dibs on the one nearest them and Nathaniel, being a gentleman at heart, taking the other bed. The view that their room lends of the ocean as well as the cities on either side of their peripheries is breathtaking but as of now, there is nothing on their minds but the concept of sleep. Jet lag can take quite a toll.

Distantly, he wonders what his dad might think of this sudden vacation from work but before the heavy feeling of dread can overwhelm him, he slips into a fitful slumber.

5

They wake up at around 7 in the evening, more recharged than they had been about eight hours ago.

And hungrier too.

Effectively, they had skipped lunch already and that will not do. Rebecca does not plan on dying from hunger on an escapade to a resort town on the other side of the world, for God’s sake. So she does the most logical thing she can do, she drags Nathaniel down to the nearest working restaurant in the vicinity, which is the lobby bar.

“God, the stuff here are so overpriced,” he muses, his tone conveying a slight note of vexation and Rebecca certainly thinks that it’s weird that he would actually observe the price of the dishes as he peruses the menu.

He just didn’t strike her as that kind of person.

“Well, sucks for you Perfect Plimpton because I’m hungry and I can’t wait to devour a cheeseburger right now, overpriced or otherwise.”

And he laughs; a response which obviously startled them both but if they were to spend a whole two weeks together without ripping one another to shreds, might as well get used to this. After all, Rebecca certainly doesn’t entertain the notion that she has a monopoly on laughter.

Wait, does she?

6

That night, they explore the premises.

It’s quite enjoyable actually because the whole hotel is like this mini-mansion with lots of rooms and amenities like libraries and such. Ten minutes into the mock-exploration, they have both successfully gotten themselves into an argument on the merits of having a house plant, of all things.

“Rebecca, if you must know; plants are still living things that require taking care of and I simply do not have the time for that. And plus, living things are too much work.”

“Ugh, could you be any more cynical about the notion of plant-keeping for Heaven’s sake? It’s just a plant and even though they are living things, they seriously require less work. And, not to mention, you only need to water them like, maybe, one or two times a day?”

“But then, you’d have to put fertilizer on them and routinely check their leaves and stems for any abnormalities because plants have no way of conveying that they’re sick,” he fires back. “Besides, isn’t the purpose of having a living thing inside your home, aside from yourself of course, is to have a companion? Plants aren’t even that comforting.”

“Well, they can be if you want them to.”

Nathaniel rolls his eyes as if he’s speaking to a child.

“Have you heard of anyone hugging a plant?”

“You don’t need a living thing to move or bark or meow or do most things that pet living things that humans usually use as companions to feel comfort from it.”

For a moment, he merely looks at her like she’s some kind of puzzle he can’t fathom but then another moment passes and he’s back to his original, egotistical self, albeit in more casual clothing. (Rebecca secretly thinks that casual suits him better.)

“Whatever,” he says to her but his tone has changed from argumentative into something friendlier.

7

Nathaniel is the first one to wake up on their first official day in Odawara. The sunlight is streaming in through the windows and the day is quite beautiful. He blinks at the light and glances at the clock.

It’s ten in the morning.

He turns his head over to look at Rebecca, who is still fast asleep a small distance away from him. She’s drooling onto her pillow and her eyes are still firmly shut with the duvet curled around her.

A thought laced with heat almost crosses his mind but Nathaniel, being Nathaniel, steadfastly stomps it out. There is no use in dwelling in what she would not give him.

Except, that was then and back then, she was going to be married.

Now, she’s not.

Nathaniel shakes his head and wills away the thoughts.

But there is no doubt that he will revisit them again in the not-so-faraway future.

Then another thought strikes him.

His father.

He must be furious now, with his son not being in West Covina running the ship and all. But of course, Nathaniel himself has no way of knowing because he left his work phone at home and his other phone, which he brought with him only for the sake of emergencies, is perpetually in airplane mode.

And that, in a nutshell, is the power of ignorance.

It is quite blissful so to speak…while it lasts.

8

At about 2 am the next day, Rebecca is awoken by the persistent vibrating of her phone.

She grabs the blasted contraption and glances at the caller ID with bleary eyes.

It’s Paula, no doubt calling from the office in West Covina to check her whereabouts.

Rebecca thinks about putting the phone down and going back to sleep but eventually, her best friend-instincts override everything and she answers the call with a throaty, “Hello?”

“Rebecca, where are you? I called your roommate Heather and she said that she didn’t know where you were either.” she says in an urgent tone. “And does it have anything to do with Nathaniel, who I know for a fact never misses a day of work, not being here too?”

There is an underlying hint of a motherly threat interlaced with her voice that makes Rebecca glance at the prone figure buried beneath the covers just a foot away from her.

“Uh, no it doesn’t,” she answers softly, suddenly wide awake because damn, how the hell is she going to explain to her best friend that she has suddenly decided to run off with her boss to a resort town in Japan?

Rebecca throws off the duvet and tiptoes to the door. Nathaniel stirs and mumbles something under his breath as she passes him but otherwise does not show any other signs of waking up. She lets herself out and closes the door behind her gently.

“Rebecca, that doesn’t sound very convincing,” Paula says in a very matter-of-fact tone.

God, what a time for this to come up.

“Listen, it’s no big deal Paula,” she reasons. “I just decided to use up the remainder of my vacation days.”

“Without telling me?” her best friend sounds offended on the other end of the line.

“Sorry Paula, it all happened really quickly and before I knew it, I was booking the flight and the hotel.”

Rebecca hears her best friend sigh audibly.

“Look, I really just…need some time alone okay?” she explains. It’s not totally a lie. Her aborted marriage to Josh as well as the weight of all that has and had happened to her has really put her in quite a spin recently.

Paula lets out a breath.

“Okay cookie, just…take care of yourself,” Rebecca bites her lip at that. “And remember, I’m just one phone call away.”

“Thanks Paula.”

Rebecca doesn’t get much sleep after that.

9

They go into town the morning of the second day, mostly to explore the shops and parts of town that they haven’t been able to visit on their first official day in the resort town. Rebecca snaps a few photos of the quaint little town and buys a few dried delicacies just for the heck of it while Nathaniel just mostly glances around; taking in everything he could see.

He’s wearing a knitted grey sweater and dark jeans, much simpler and less stuffy than what he usually wears back at home. The town feels quite peaceful and at ease and it’s a change that he didn’t think he had needed before.

They settle into a restaurant down the street from the row of markets for lunch, with Rebecca ordering a set comprising of rice and fish and miso while Nathaniel gets some kind of local salad with sesame dressing.

“You don’t really eat much do you?” Rebecca remarks with a strange expression on her face once their food is laid down in front of them.

“I just don’t like it when I pack a few extra ounces,” he says defensively. He doesn’t like it when people make observations about his eating habits.

“Well, to me it doesn’t seem like you are packing a few extra ounces,” she says, a light, playful smirk adorning her features.

This conversation is throwing him off a bit.

“Well, I just don’t like the idea of it happening. What do you want to do later?” he changes the subject, which just makes her eye him curiously.

“Seriously, I don’t think you’re even fat I mean—

“Could you just leave it?” he snaps suddenly, which makes Rebecca jump a little bit in her seat.

“Whoa,” she holds up her hands. “Easy.”

He eyes her viciously for a moment then looks down at his salad. He suddenly doesn’t feel like eating anymore.

An awkward silence engulfs them both for a few beats before Rebecca finally clears her throat and says, “I wanna bathe in the hot springs.”

“What?”

“I said,” she reiterates, “I wanna try the hot springs this town is so known for. Heard our hotel has one.”

“Well why not?”

She looks at him one last time then goes back to her food. The trip back to the hotel passes in total quiet.

10

The natural hot springs, or onsen as they call it here, are relaxing and revitalizing…once Nathaniel gets past the concept of going in naked with all the other men.

He almost runs away at first sight when he sees all those other men bathing in the pools in all their naked glory.

It’s disconcerting, he thinks, how a culture so docile and polite could have no qualms about bathing naked with each other.

At first, he is a little self-conscious about the appearance of his body and has to resist the urge to cover his nether regions with his hands like a teenager caught skinny-dipping but the moment he dipped into the hot pool, he felt all his thoughts melt away into the clear water and closed his eyes, content to relish in the natural heat.

From time to time, he glances at his watch to check the time because bathing in the hot springs for more than five minutes is not allowed and can be quite dangerous. But mostly, he allows his mind to wander into the more whimsical aspects of his imagination, mostly involving stills and scenes from the Harry Potter movies or replaying the victories he has had as a lawyer, including his first trial.

He remembers the aftermath of that trial in great detail, how his dad had given him a small pat on the back as a sign of appreciation before he went off to meet one of his other clients. His father didn’t look at him though when he gave the small gesture of appreciation but Nathaniel chooses to ignore that part and to focus instead on the fact that his father, his cold and oft-distant father, had expressed approval, no matter how minuscule, to him.

It was one of the rare times where Nathaniel felt genuine affection from his father.

Nathaniel got out of the clear water and washed off in the showers before making his way back to the locker room to get dressed and get back to his room.

There is a strong feeling of weightlessness as he makes his way back, a feeling of relaxation settling over his skin like a blanket. Once he gets into his hotel room he immediately makes his way to his bed and plops down on it unceremoniously, not caring that he only happens to be clad in a cotton bathrobe and that Rebecca is also sitting on her bed just a foot away from him.

“Feel better Perfect Plimpton?” she teases with that endearing smile of hers as she sets down the book she is reading and looks at him. She too is only clad in a bathrobe.

“Quite.”

Sleep comes quite easily for both of them that night.

11

They spend the next few days in the same routine. In the morning, they go out to town to walk around and grab lunch then at night, they relax at the hot springs.

Not once does Rebecca even think of Josh in those few days but she is sure that once she gets back to West Covina, she would be as hellbent on revenge as before. Nobody gets away with jilting Rebecca Bunch at the altar unscathed.

On those days, Rebecca and Nathaniel find out little things about each other like how Nathaniel’s favourite author, next to J.K. Rowling of course, is Rick Riordan and that he actually has a penchant for Young Adult novels or how Rebecca likes to reread The Age of Innocence and Nineteen Eighty-Four during Valentine’s Day and the Fourth of July respectively.

“Wow, talk about depressing,” he had commented under his breath, probably meaning to playfully insult Rebecca about her literary choices.

“Hey! Says the guy who reads kid novels,” she had fired back.

“Rick Riordan and J.K. Rowling are modern literary heroes you know,” he, in turn, had justified.

“Whatever Percy Jackson.”

“Oh that’s just foul.”

12

At around the end of their first week in Odawara, they grab dinner in their hotel’s only restaurant.

The waiters and waitresses mistake them both for a couple, during which they both make it a point to clear up the assumption emphatically, especially Rebecca.

“No, we’re not a couple. We’re just friends. F-R-I-E-N-D-S.”

The waiter had nodded just as emphatically, probably a little spooked by Rebecca’s overenthusiastic correction. The woman can be quite headstrong in the things she wants, a fact that Nathaniel has known since the first time that they had met.

After all, who could forget getting chased by a small, angry, voluptuous woman around with a fountain pen, with said woman with the full intention of stabbing you to death with said pen?

Up until today, the thought still makes Nathaniel shiver a bit inside.

But then, she had felt quite soft—

He shakes his head and wills the thought away. There will be time for that later.

But right now, he has to eat dinner.

“I don’t know why they keep thinking we’re a couple,” she mutters, a statement which causes both of them to cast each other an awkward look. Rebecca steadfastly distracts herself with her appetizer, pickled vegetables and a wedge of tomato while Nathaniel starts to observe the dark navy blue shade of the cuff of his button-down like it’s the most interesting thing in the whole world.

Eventually, their food gets served.

And bit by bit, they start to slide into their usual small chatter about this and that.

Nathaniel notices how beautiful Rebecca is in her purple fit-and-flare dress and three-inch pumps but doesn’t say anything about it.

“My mom wanted me to get into Harvard since, like, I was born,” she tells him between mouthfuls of rice and expensive Wagyu beef. “She said that she’d have a heart attack if I didn’t.”

“Well, my father was pretty much the same too. It was Stanford or nothing for me. Both my parents went there when they were younger. My mom was my dad’s college sweetheart.”

“Oh, how sweet,” Rebecca croons because she is a sucker for Hollywood-esque romances and the like.

“Yeah, it was…up until my mom died of cancer when I was eight.”

Rebecca looks at him with something akin to pity in her big brown eyes, which makes Nathaniel want to run away.

“I’m sorry,” she offers.

“Yeah.”

A pregnant pause lapses in the air between them and it befuddles Nathaniel why he had even volunteered that piece of information to her anyway.

After that, it’s back to the usual chitchat.

13

“You know, it’s weird that we never thought to check out the indoor water spa,” Rebecca states one night on the ninth day of their escapade.

Nathaniel eyes her from atop the newspaper he’s perusing.

“Do you want to?”

Rebecca shrugs. “Sure, we’ve got nothing else better to do.”

So that’s how she ends up digging around her suitcase for that one-piece she never wears back at home but strangely thought to pack for their trip here. She slips it on inside the bathroom and drapes a bathrobe over her form while Nathaniel changes in the Japanese-style dining area of their hotel room.

In just about a few minutes, they both emerge from their hotel room and make their way to the heated pools. They get the keys for their lockers from the reception by the respective entrances to the men’s and women’s locker rooms then meet each other poolside with Nathaniel clad in nothing but a pair of board shorts and Rebecca in her black one-piece.

She allows herself just one quick glance over his sculpted form before cheerfully declaring, “Let’s go!”

They dip into the heated pool that has sliding doors that lead into the extension of said pool outside in the cold, open Odawara air.

At first, the cold draft of wind that hits Rebecca straight in the face shocks her systems but eventually, her body settles into the soothing warmth of the heated pool and then she can scarcely even feel the cold against her face anymore.

She and Nathaniel find a corner there where they settle next to each other, bare skins almost touching and suddenly, Rebecca is reminded of that time they got stuck in the elevator.

“Why did you ask me to come with you on this trip?” she pops the question that has been plaguing her mind since they got here. “Why me of all people?”

Nathaniel sighs and his breath diperses into smoke in the cold air.

“Honestly, I don’t really know,” he admits, “I guess…I thought you needed it just as much as I did.”

She chuckles.

“Well, you’re right about that,” she tells him and she can’t stop that sharp edge of bitterness and hate from setting into her voice.

“You know, I don’t mean to sound clichéd but he doesn’t deserve you,” he says matter-of-factly and Rebecca turns around to look at him, shocked. “You’re smart and infuriating and a little bit crazy but he’s just plain-ass stupid...and plain.”

She laughs and it’s just on this side of manic. “Yeah, he is.”

“And he totally deserves it if you TP his house or key his car or whatever.”

Rebecca nods and she doesn’t know why but she feels a little dangerous.

“Yep, he does and more.”

She doesn’t know if Nathaniel can hear the slight edge of retribution soaking the tip of more.

“But don’t…don’t waste your energy on someone like that.”

This time, she actually whirls around to face him.

“What?”

“I know that look that was on your face on that cliff that day,” he tells her, blue eyes looking into brown ones, earnest and bare and completely honest. “It’s heartbreak and anger. In your situation, that’s normal…just don’t let it get to you too much. It’s not worth your time.”

God, she thinks, this is so weird and so inappropriate on so many levels.

“How would you know?” she challenges because that white-hot fire of revenge hasn’t died down yet and it’s still very much coursing through her veins, albeit just a bit more repressed these past few days.

He wants to say, “Because I know what it’s like to be let down like that,” and it would be the truth.

On rainy nights when the distant ghosts of his past usually come back to haunt him, Roxanne feels just as alive as ever. She was supposed to be his salvation from his domineering father and dreary life. They were supposed to marry each other and live happily ever after. And they did…up to the “marry each other” part.

Up until now Roxanne’s still on the company payroll. He remembers how disappointed and angry and frustrated his father was with him, berating him for how big a fool he was, even threatening to disown him should another instance like that arise again.

But he opts to say instead, “Because I think I’m human and intelligent enough to,” which just makes her roll her eyes at him.

“Yeah, whatever Perfect Plimpton.”

14

They trade in the hot springs for the heated indoor water spa on the next few days. It becomes sort of like a routine. After dinner, they would make it into their little corner in that portion of the heated pool out in the Odawara night air.

They talk about inconsequential stuff mostly but never about work. Eight out of ten of those times they get into an argument about something or other that wasn’t even related to what they were originally talking about.

It’s partly frustrating for Rebecca but mostly, it’s fun. And it’s really nice to have a guy that she can talk to without having to explain certain words that she uses to construct sentences.

“I’m pretty sure that Leonardo DiCaprio’s character was still stuck inside the dream,” he argues, blue eyes widening.”

“Well the spinning of the top doesn’t really falter when they’re in a dream but the top did some kind of a stutter at the ending.”

“Yeah, but we didn’t see it fall down.”

“But it faltered.”

“I’m not discounting that.”

“So you’re agreeing that they got out of the dream?”

“I didn’t say that, what I said was that I’m not discounting your observation that the top did falter a bit in its spin at the ending but I’m still standing by my opinion that they were still in the dream.”

Rebecca hmphs at him in reply which only makes him laugh a bit.

On the last day of their vacation, he asks her what she wants to do before they go.

To which she answers, “The one thing that we didn’t do in our days here. Visit the Odawara Castle.”

“How’d you know there was even a castle?’

“I read it in the in-flight tourist magazine on the way here.”

And they do just that. The trek to the castle leaves Rebecca a bit tired by the time they get there, which Nathaniel uses to tease her with.

“You really are out-of-shape you know that?”

“Shut up,” she says without any real bite to the words. They start to climb up the staircase to the top of the castle which lends a bird’s eye view of the city though by then, Rebecca is already too busy trying to catch her breath to take pictures. Nathaniel leaves her for a bit to walk around. Rebecca just looks out at the city and feels herself drift into a reverie.

“Well, now that we’ve climbed the castle,” Nathaniel says, pulling her out of her daydreams, “why don’t we head out to go grab lunch?”

“That sounds great.”

15

On the flight back to Los Angeles, Nathaniel tells Rebecca in generic “Plimpton tone” as she calls it, “I want you to be at work tomorrow 9 am sharp. You need to power through the heaps of deadlines and paperwork that you probably left behind.”

Rebecca snorts. “Whatever.”

“Hopefully my dad won’t be too mad at me when we get back though,” he muses after a short while.

“Knowing your dad, I think he will be but you’re bringing in results with the firm to be honest so I’m pretty sure that it’ll be just for a week or two, a month tops and that’ll be it.”

He chuckles. “Have you even met him?”

“No, but I have a vague idea.”

It’s weird really how similar her mom and his dad are.

“Really?”

“Really.”

A comfortable silence latches itself in the space between them. Overall, it’s been really nice if both of them were to be honest even though they both acknowledge the fact that this trip may just be one of those anomalies that won’t ever be repeated again. (Like that random elevator kiss.)

Though secretly, both of them wish that someday, maybe in the distant future, it could be.

A flight attendant with too much makeup comes to lay their food in front of them.

As Nathaniel starts peeling off the foil lid of his dinner box, he tells Rebecca in his signature “Plimpton tone”, “But seriously, I need you to come in to work tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I know.”

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