#otherwise i think women should seriously be avoiding getting married

[lesbianlenas]

this excerpt from my family law casebook on why women file for divorce much more often than men really says it all on who benefits the most from marriage by a long shot. while society places such an important emphasis on marriage for women it is so important to remember that marriage is an oppressive institution meant to make women the property of a man to be his domestic laborer and child bearer. even if that is not so explicit anymore the reality of that still remains. women NEED to remember that they do not have to get married to be happier in life and the reality is that they will probably be happier if they do NOT get married.

i think what is particularly interesting is that men benefit from marriage regardless of the quality of the relationship while women only benefit if they marriage is good. this is bc when the marriage is bad it is likely BECAUSE of the man and even if it is mutually bad the man still benefits from the gender role of wife (domestic labor) while the woman benefits nothing from the gender role of husband. it also noted earlier that men are much more likely to get remarried than woman which i think underscores how much men rely on being married and having a wife to take care of them vs women after divorce want to be on their own. i truly think women need to be more wary of getting married and that has to start with no longer socializing women to think the most important and worthwhile thing they will ever do is marry a man.

[softscummymammon]

€Male Hashira React to Their MALE S/O Coming Out As Asexual€

••Part 1 ||→ Giyu, Rengoku, Obanai

••Part 2||→Sanemi, Gyomei, Tengen

→+*:;;:*Demon Slayer Headcanon*:;;:*+←

I have decided not to do Muichiro because of the context that he is 14 years old. Due to this, I will not be adding him to the fic. Though this is about asexuality, and therefore the lack of sex, it is still considered wrong to me.

←Sanemi Shinazugawa→

Really, you were kinda shitting your pants at the idea of coming out to Sanemi. You know he's only abrasive and stubborn because of his past, but sometimes reading him is like asking Gyomei what color shirt you should wear.

Aka, pretty much impossible.

But you both were in a committed relationship, and you didn't want to feel like you were leading him on. There is also the possibility of him feeling like you had higher expectations. Knowing how that feels, you never wanted your boyfriend to feel like that.

So, deciding to get this over with and be blunt, which really is the only way you can approach this like this with Sanemi, you sat him down after his afternoon training. When he heard your voice and how serious you were, he made no move to object beside the occasional grumble.

His normally scowly face turned inquisitive as you sat at the chabudai. He sat across from you and asked what you needed him for. Steeling yourself, you tell him you're asexual, and have no or little desire to have any sexual activity. Making sure Sanemi didn't blame himself was key. Otherwise, he'd blame himself.

His face blanks for a second, then he asks if he made you uncomfortable in anyway. You tell him no, that you trust him to control himself, but some touches just can't happen. Sanemi starts to get a little irritated and asks then what is comfortable to you then? You try to calmly explain that cuddles are fine, soft touches on the shoulders, arms and head are fine, kisses too, as long as it doesn't get too heated.

Sanemi takes a few breaths, but explains to you that he has needs too; sexual needs he wanted to carry out with you since you're special to him. You can't help the tears that start to fall, but Sanemi is quick to sit by your side and wipe them away. He's cursing himself out and telling you he's sorry while you're trying to say you understand and feel sorry you're limiting the his show of love.

It gets so hectic, Sanemi leans forward and head butts you. Nothing like that brat did to him, but it was enough to catch your attention. He firmly apologizes for any misstep he took, and shushes you when you trying interrupting him. He carries on saying his love for you can be expressed in more ways than sex ever could, so he'll just have to get creative. Sanemi loves you dearly, and he doesn't want his lack of self control to be the end what the beautiful thing you both had.

So, he does. Whenever he gets that urge he'll leave and deal with it, then come back and pamper you till you both fall asleep or take a nap. He's still weary about how he touches you, but confident hands on your part will ease his hesitancy. Sanemi also becomes super over protective. He'd glare and growl at anyone that gets too close.

He can't grope you like he would have done originally. So, to combat those people that can't seem to think through their brains, he uses his wind breathing style to quite literally blow them away.

←Himejima Gyomei→

Trust and commitment was always an issue of Gyomei. But once he opens himself up, he is unwavering in his care. He loves you dearly, and he takes this relationship seriously. So why have you been avoiding him?

Gyomei sighed heavily and settled down near the water stream. Thinking over the day within his memories, he recounted how you seemed to have been anxious. Himejima may not be able to see, but he can hear your emotions clear as day, your anxious heart and breathing.

The water rushing through the stream eased him slightly, but the memory of your fear put him on edge. He never liked when you felt anything negative. Himejima always wanted to hear that smile on your face and laugh in your speech.

Standing up, Gyomei listened for your heart beat and followed it towards your shared home. Ever since this relationship became serious, you both decided living in Gyomei's home was the best idea since it had more medical supplies and felt more lived in. So it was an easy walk he figured out leads to the training area in the back of the house.

Opening a sliding door that leads to the Zen garden you helped him plant, he found you setting next to the water fountain you both had chosen as an added on feature. Sitting down next to you, he heard you sigh and felt you lean into his side. Gyomei wrapped a careful hand around your waist and let you get whatever was bothering you out your self.

Mustering up your confidence, you suddenly blurt out that you believe you are asexual. He pauses and let's the thought wash over him, trying to remember where he had heard that term before. Now that he recalled, one of the many older children he had helped before becoming a demon slayer had confided with him about the exact same thing.

With a careful voice, he addressed your rising nervousness, " Sex was never my end goal with you, my Rock. My only goal that I ever had was to make you happy. If you believe that sex would only ever make you uncomfortable, or that being sexually active on a regular basis is unnecessary, then I will do whatever it takes to love you thoroughly another way. "

He embraced you that night, feeling the coolness of the sun slowly setting behind the hills. Gyomei held you close to his chest as he rocked you back and forth, setting a firm, callused, yet somehow soft hand on the back of your neck to keep you still and comfort you.

Himejima no longer tolerated you being around people that he could tell made you uncomfortable. He knew all too well how dangerous and capable you could be when you wanted to, but he also wanted to get that feeling of accomplishment when he successfully guarded you away from those he knew where only trying to get with you for something other than your opinion. Besides, it was rather easy to just walk up behind them and set a hand on their shoulder to scare them off.

← Tengen Uzui→

To say that you were nervous with your most recent, yet blatantly obvious, discovery was an understatement. Being with Uzui was a whole other thing in on its own, and you had to overcome hurdles like any couple to be together. For one, it was rather odd to you that he already had three wives, beautiful women that could give him anything he wanted, yet he still chose to date you.

It unnerved you, a little. Though it was common in your home country that having multiple married partners was common, you always felt like you were encroaching on their daily lives.

But, they always made a show of accepting you. Even going as far as to invite you to their gatherings and trips to the city for shopping and sight seeing. You had an amazing time with them, but you can never get away from their....steamy stories. They always got blushy when recalling their first times with Tengen. It never ceased to make you uncomfortable, and they would always tease you about having to excuse your self when the topic of their sex lives came up.

Now that you thought back on it, it was glaringly obvious how you came up with your discovery in sexuality. Though it was already said, you were nervous. Nervous about what Uzui would think, about how his wives would think, and your standing in the relationship would turn. If you even had a relationship after this to begin with.

But, this needed to come out, and you don't think you'd be able to continue to live in a relationship where you couldn't be yourself. So, you had called them all in. It was a lot more intimidating than you would have imagined it to be. All four of them sat around the table with you, each had a different expression on their face.

Tengen set a firm hand on your thigh, trying to give you a supporting hold, but it only made your nerves stand on end. Taking a deep breath, you took his hand into your own and lifted it to sit firmly on the table. Tengen blinked in surprise, as did Suma, Hinatsuru, and Makio.

Deciding to not beat around the bush this time, you tell your recent discovery about being asexual. The silence given afterwards was very...tense. They looked in between each other for quite sometime, likely having a silent convention you weren't privy to even try and understand. It started to get suffocating, and it felt like you couldn't breathe.

You quickly made your way out of their. Standing up quickly and getting out of the room despite your name being called out by four other voices. Getting to your room within Uzui's home, you close the door and lock the door. Going to your futon, you breathe deeply in and out while tears stream down your face.

Footsteps made you freeze. And a soft whisper of your name made you look up towards your door. Hearing a slight thump, you can only imagine as Tengen sits against the locked door and calls out your name again. Sighing, you get up and sit on the other side of the door, giving him a chance to hear you.

Uzui makes sure you're okay before telling you that he was sorry. He explained that he didn't mean for allowing your anxieties to eat away at you like they did, and expressed his wish to be able to help you with them like a good partner should. He tells you that he loves you no matter what, and Makio, Suma, and Hinatsuru agree. He didn't mean to make you uncomfortable with his touch either, and his wives apologize for not seeing how uncomfortable you were listening to them talk about their past experiences.

Listening to them, you could hear that they were genuine. So, you stood up and unlocked the door, immediately getting engulfed in a hug by the man himself. Sighing, you felt so much better for being accepted. Leaning into his embrace, you were swept off your feet with a yell and layed down on your futon where he and his partners cuddled up around you.

<————««➹𓆉➷»»————>

[hualianff]

Untethered (Bonus II) 《Bonus I》

For the first time in his life, XL feels like he can speak without the pressures and expectations of being a prince weighing down on his shoulders. He watches his facial expressions in the mirror as he rambles about the various meetings he had for the day. The subtle dancing of his eyebrows, rapid blinking of his eyes, and pinched corners of his lips—all indicative of how animated he is when summarizing his duties that seemed more like work than anything else.

The fact that HC is here, brushing his hair, and listening with occasional intrigued hums make XL reinvigorated as his role as prince. Despite the demanding energy, control, and fairness the role takes, XL is incredibly grateful for the privilege and promises himself to continue to fulfill this purpose to the best of his abilities.

So far, XL believes he’s done a sufficient job, preparing to ascend to the throne. After hearing him speak, he secretly hopes HC thinks so too.

“Ah, San Lang, thank you for kindly tending to my hair. It looks wonderful,” XL says once he feels the final knots come undone by HC’s broad strokes.

“Of course it looks wonderful. It is His Highness, after all,” the pirate captain comments smoothly. XL can’t help but smile at the compliment.

HC goes to place the comb back on the vanity. He switches it out for a short ribbon that shimmers silver when hit by the moonlight.

“Allow me to do one more thing,” HC adds. He gathers all of XL’s hair to fall behind his shoulders, the strands still a bit damp. With practiced movements, HC parts the prince’s hair into three sections, then begins braiding the pieces into a thick, tight section.

XL licks his lips in anticipation. Though he’s had his hair styled a thousand times before, this is HC who currently braids his long locks, a gesture that seems a bit intimate.

Not that you mind, XL briefly thinks.

“How have the last few weeks treated San Lang?” He asks, reminding HC of his promise to talk about his days on the ocean. HC pulls the pieces of hair tighter, focused on creating a simple yet consistent and neat braided pattern for the prince.

“Troublesome. There’s a new pirate ship we have encountered several times. They said they want to challenge us for our water territories, which is a load of shit because the sea belongs to no one,” HC spits out heatedly. His tone is harsh but his touch is gentle as ever. “I honestly think the captain wants to mess with me. Make me question my reign as the ‘most feared, ruthless, and violent pirate to sail the waters.’”

“Oh. I see,” XL says hesitantly. He’s not very familiar with the inside knowledge of pirate ways and society other than what is generalized by the public. And the palace’s gossip, of course.

Suddenly, a rush of hot air tickles XL’s ear. XL locks eyes with HC through the mirror, heart stuttering at the dark, hungry look in the pirate’s eye.

“What does His Highness think?”

“Think about what?”

“My reputation. Does the real thing live up to your imagination?” HC questions with a sly smirk, quickly tying the ribbon at the end of the braid, then moving it to fall over XL’s right shoulder. XL only has a few seconds to marvel at the stunning handiwork before HC leans forward even more, urging XL to turn toward him, their faces mere centimeters apart.

The pirate captain smells like manly musk mixed in with the ocean breeze. XL nervously gulps.

“I- um,” XL starts, feeling his face heat up. “Hmm, maybe not entirely...”

HC’s eye slowly flits down XL’s face. XL remains still, mentally kicking himself for wondering what it would feel like to close the small gap and-

“Fair enough,” HC remarks, pulling away, leaving a rush of air in his wake. “I suppose I’m not the madman people say I am. After all, His Highness wouldn’t have let me into his room otherwise, no?”

Something hot burns inside XL’s gut. He had to let HC in! If the pirate were discovered by the palace guards, he’d be imprisoned indefinitely for sure! XL was simply doing an act of service for HC...nothing too outrageous like HC implied.

Nope, none at all.

“You’re blushing.“

“San Lang better take a good look around lest this is the only time I invite him into my room,” XL huffs out, resolutely facing forward and avoiding HC’s penetrating gaze.

“Forgive me, Your Highness. I was simply teasing,” HC says, though he doesn’t sound all that apologetic. “A prince like you must have many admirers to choose from. I shall not take this privilege for granted.”

“Admirers? Where on Earth did you get that from?” XL asks, appalled. He hasn’t taken interest in any of the brides his father provided, much less traveled to other kingdoms in a serious pursuit to find one to marry.

“Is there not a ball happening this coming week? For you to choose a suitable woman to become your queen?” HC inquiries nonchalantly. He tucks a rogue curl behind XL’s ear, the prince subtly leaning into the touch.

XL whips around in astonishment, braid flying to his other shoulder.

“How did you know!?”

“I have ears on land, my prince. Even when I’m out sailing the sea,” HC says. “We have also passed numerous royal ships carrying your guests for the celebration.”

XL wilts in his seat.

It’s not much of a celebration if XL hadn’t wanted to host an engagement ball in the first place. Years of his father’s insistent pushing have led to more frequent gatherings with other royalty in hopes that XL finds a fiancé.

Unlike his parents, XL wasn’t betrothed from a young age. Furthermore, he hasn’t expressed  any interest in marriage even once becoming an adult.

(“Your mother and I were married at twenty. You, my son, are already twenty-two,” the king always said. “You should quickly find a princess who catches your eye. The sooner you get yourself a wife, the sooner she will start learning her duties as queen.”)

XL has successfully put off marriage for a couple of years, deferring to his rigorous training schedule and duties as prince as an excuse. Fortunately, his mother is willing to let XL take his time, as the king isn’t set to retire anytime soon. After all, XL learning his responsibilities as king is the most important task.

HC instantly notices XL’s deflated expression. He attempts to backpedal.

“I had no right to bring that up. If this is something Gege does not want to discuss, then, by all means, he may change the subject,” HC says quietly. Respectfully.

“No. It is fine. It is by no means a secret at all. The ball has been scheduled for weeks now,” XL murmurs while looking at his bare feet. He fiddles with the long braid, smoothing over the tightly wrapped strands absent-mindedly. “I’m not actively looking for a wife or anything. At least, I don’t want to...”

“Your Highness-“

“San Lang.”

HC’s mouth snaps shut. He straightens his back with his shoulders set square, standing at attention in front of the Prince of Xianle.

“Could you do something for me? A small favor, if you will.”

“Anything,” HC immediately answers.

XL subconsciously chews on his lower lip, a habit that his closest friend SQX reprimands him for doing because it tears up both the old and healing skin. Easy to overdo, not a quick fix, SQX claims.

XL rises to his feet. He holds his hand out to the pirate, palm facing upwards.

Where’s My Love – SYML

“Will you dance with me?”

“I’m afraid gege will be sorely disappointed with this one’s lack of skill,” HC says as a matter-of-fact, but he doesn’t hesitate to accept XL’s hand, his long fingers blanketing XL’s own.

The prince’s heart skips a beat as the pirate pulls him close until their chests almost touch. XL feels small; HC’s heeled boots to XL’s bare feet exaggerate their height difference, XL only coming up to HC’s chest.

XL feels small but strangely, he wouldn’t want it any other way.

“San Lang needs only to follow my lead,” XL says, looking up with a smile. He properly intertwines their left and right hands, then places HC’s other hand on his shoulder. Finally, XL goes to hold the pirate’s waist, the thin fabric giving way to the hard muscle underneath.

“Gege must have danced with a lot of pretty women before,” HC muses, moving his feet as XL slowly guides him into a waltz. XL hopes it isn’t just him imagining a slow, romantic piece to harmonize their movements.

“Is San Lang jealous?” XL asks without thinking.

Goodness, did those words seriously just come out of his mouth? Other than his eyes widening in slight horror, XL schools his face into a calm expression, not wanting to seem conceited or even desperate.

HC peers down with a lazy smirk, almost crowding into the prince as they turn to dance in a circle. Despite XL’s effort to appear unfazed by the prospect of HC envying those who’ve had the opportunity to dance with the Prince of Xianle, the pirate still catches the hopeful flicker of XL’s eyelashes.

“A little bit. Though in a way, I’ve had my fair share of dances with Gege myself,” HC states proudly, referring back to their previous sparring sessions. The break in focus has HC stumbling over his feet, prompting XL to squeeze his waist as a reprimand to concentrate.

“Ah, yes. San Lang’s skill is undeniable in that aspect,” XL says, laughing. “He’s also the first and only man I’ve danced ever with.”

“What an honor,” HC purrs out, and then he lowers XL into an abrupt dip, holding the prince by his hip and upper back.

XL’s breath hitches, wondering how they seamlessly switched positions. HC tenderly stares down at the prince, a twinkle dimly reflecting in his left eye.

“San Lang...” XL whispers, clutching onto HC’s shoulders. His long braid feels heavy like rope where it hangs down, nearly touching the ground.

“Your Highness.”

Their faces are millimeters apart, skimming each other’s noses. They’ve never been this close before, especially not in the absence of any sort of weapon. No one besides the king and queen, palace servants, and bodyguards are even allowed to touch the prince.

Now here he is, in the arms of the infamous Crimson Rain, on the verge of letting himself want.

Tentatively, XL licks his lips before asking, “Why do you always come back?”

“Gege knows this answer too,” HC solemnly says.

XL tilts his chin up, eyelids starting to lower.

“I come back for you, my dear Prince.”

As HC leans down—still supporting XL’s weight—XL meets him halfway for their first proper kiss, alone together in the prince’s room where the pale moonlight spills through the balcony doors. It’s a light and airy peck, one that ends way too soon for XL’s liking.

When they pull apart, HC stands XL back up. The pirate notices XL’s robe has slid off one shoulder. He goes to pull it back up but XL quickly grasps his jaw for another kiss instead.

They part again.

“Just...one more-“ XL breathes out, adrenaline coursing through his veins. HC’s lips are warm and firm, easily pliable as they press deliciously against XL’s own. “...one more.”

HC gladly obliges.

Their kisses gradually pick up in pace, HC’s hands respectively exploring the span of XL’s back, his hips, and sides. XL eagerly pulls HC over to the edge of his bed, spinning them around so he can climb onto the pirate’s lap.

HC groans low in his throat, comfortably looping his arms around XL’s waist.

At this point, all of XL’s reservations have been cast aside and he’s going to act on the desires concerning a certain pirate that have been taunting him for months now, damn it.

XL surges forward with a force that knocks HC back against the soft mattress.

“Your Highness,” HC growls between kisses, still trying to cover up XL’s shoulder, and now his chest where the robe is loose enough to reveal noticeable cleavage. XL shifts a bit to align their hips, unintentionally rubbing against HC. “Shit-“

“Hua Cheng-“ XL hums, belatedly realizing his slip up. HC nips at his lip for his mistake.

“San L-lang,” XL mewls like the starved for affection prince that he is. HC’s tongue darts out to swipe across XL’s upper lip. Then, his lower lip.

XL naturally opens up for him, gasping as HC’s hot tongue licks inside his mouth with a dominance that consumes XL. The more XL lets his lust cloud his movement, the faster he feels himself harden.

When XL’s hands brush along HC’s hair, they accidentally graze onto his eyepatch. HC grunts in surprise, which has XL springing back as the situation of the last five minutes dawns upon him.

He sits up on HC’s thighs, placing his palms on the pirate’s chest. Underneath him, HC is a gorgeous vision–thick, wavy hair splayed out on XL’s pillow, lips swollen and spit-slicked.

“Oh my- oh my lord,” XL chokes out, completely breathless. “Was- was that t-too much?”

“Not at all, Your Highness,” HC replies with a rogue-ish smirk. “Come here.”

HC embraces his prince with long arms, squeezing tightly and pressing a series of kisses to the top of XL’s head. XL hesitantly rests his cheek on HC’s sternum, aware of how close their bodies are pressed together.

“Who knew Gege could kiss like that?”

“Like what?” XL questions petulantly.

“Like a shameless minx,” the pirate captain answers, chuckling when XL whines at the implication.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a long time,” XL shyly admits.

“Me too,” HC murmurs. XL lifts his head, crosses his arms on HC’s chest, then sets his chin on them. “Since the moment I saw you sitting alone at the pub.”

“You wanted to kiss the crown prince at first sight?” XL asks, pretending to be scandalized. HC kisses the tip of XL’s nose. XL scrunches it up in response.

“Hmm, my prince now.”

“Well, your prince would very much like it if San Lang stays the night.”

“I must be back at the harbor before dawn,” HC says, stroking XL’s hair. “However, I can most certainly afford to accompany Gege while he sleeps.”

XL happily snuggles close to HC, not worrying quite so much about the ball now that he has something going on with HC. To his astonishment, the pirate seems to return his affections quite enthusiastically. As a prince with the duty to serve his people, XL reckons he deserves this moment of happiness.

After another hour of blissful exchanging kisses and aimless conversation, XL feels himself begin to drift. He hears a whispered promise from HC who protectively curls around him.

“I will never bring you harm, Your Highness. Your heart is safe with me.”

XL falls asleep into a dreamless slumber.

***

Present...

As if it happens in slow motion, XL swings the sword with all the power he possesses. HC’s arms stretch open in vulnerability, lips forming into a small, understanding smile.

“Gege.”

Something inside XL shatters. The familiar term of endearment is for XL’s ears only. His heart pounds against his rib cage with the ferocity of an imprisoned soul, screaming at XL to ask not what he would wish for in death, but what is he willing to live for?

The answer is right in front of him.

“I’m back.”

Three things happen at once.

A deafening BOOM fires at the royal ship from the opposite direction, pitch-black flags with the symbolic skeleton of a fish piercing through the chilly air.

Simultaneously, a blinding flash of lightning strikes across the sky, signaling an even more intense downpour of rain that obscures everyone’s vision. Surprised screams echo somewhat mutely among the roaring winds.

Lastly, XL swings his sword so it barely skims the open blouse HC wears and keeps rotating until it crosses behind him, where he lets it go flying back to the royal ship.

At that moment, XL leaps forward into HC’s embrace, where those long arms encircle his waist, and both men are sent tumbling down into the crashing waves of the raging ocean.

《VI》

[captnjacksparrow]

Okay so I know I’m far off my rocker with what I’m about to say but I have to say it otherwise I’ll forget or keep thinking about it like crazy.

It’s probably just me but I can’t help but feel like SNS aren’t straight. I can’t help but feel like Naruto could possibly be bi with women preference or don’t realize it. I can’t help but feel like Sasuke might be gay or bi. I don’t want to state it as a fact because we don’t know their sexualities canon wise plus I want to respect the author’s creation however I can’t see those two as straight, especially Sasuke. I understand that Sasuke puts his goals before romance and that may be the case for this. I know he wants to defeat his brother and restore his clan, thats his top priority in life. People say he doesn’t know how to express his emotions, yet I see it fine with Naruto. He seems to trust Naruto more than anything and wants to be with Naruto. He turns down girls, mainly Sakura when it comes to affection or flirtatiousness. Now it could be just that those girls see him as a trophy and Sakura doesn’t understand him or respect him, however even after Boruto when he “marries” Sakura, it seems he’s depressed and regrets the relationship. He visits Naruto’s family more than his own and I find it depressing and interesting because it shows he chooses Naruto over his own “wife”. Even with Karin, he cares about her as a comrade or friend yet I don’t feel romantic attraction on his side. Yet I feel a bit of that with him and Naruto. There was a rumor that the author or creator of Naruto that between Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura isn’t a love triangle but rather a circle like a fish biting its own tail. So Naruto —> Sakura —> Sasuke and Sasuke —> Naruto. Anyways, i know this show isn’t about their sexuality and I shouldn’t focus on that but I couldn’t help but notice something or rather feel it. Also, your post on SNS Sasukes pov, I remember you mentioning Sasuke being comfortable enough to show his vulnerability with Naruto and that had me thinking... is this Sasuke accepting his love for Naruto? Is this Sasuke allowing Naruto to open him and save him. It seems Naruto was the first and only person that made his way to his heart, even expanding it just a little.

That’s just me but I would love to hear what you have to say and correct me if I’m wrong. What do you think?

Nice ask @larrycherry04 😍😍

There was a rumor that the author or creator of Naruto that between Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura isn’t a love triangle but rather a circle like a fish biting its own tail. So Naruto —> Sakura —> Sasuke and Sasuke —> Naruto.

Again larry, there is no official proof for this interview. And if it is so, I don’t really believe any of his interviews, tbh. 

These are the two different official interviews from Shounen Jump at different point of time with Kishimoto and two contradicting answers. 

So, when it comes to drawing Manga, Kishi was very truthful. But when it comes to interviews, he started to contradict his own answers. Which makes him a liar, in my opinion and I don’t blame him.

So, In short, Read the manga or Watch the Anime and see how you feel about it and come to a conclusion rather that believing his interviews.

But to answer whether it’s a love circle??? Nope. 

Sakura, like I said before, she is a pairing fodder for Sasuke, most of the time and for Naruto, a little bit. 

If it is a love circle, like, if Naruto truly loved Sakura, he never should’ve let Sasuke off the hook, for all the tantrums/outbursts he has shown towards Sakura not once or twice but multiple times.

Imagine you are Naruto, you love Sakura so much and values her a lot above everyone.

What would you do in the following scene?

I seriously can’t stop laughing here. Here, a boy, your supposed rival, is mildly insulting your most valued person’s tears. What will you do?

You will speak on her behalf, Of course. Just like Naruto did.

But the moment your rival says something to you, you forget everything about Sakura and starts to think about your rival. Wellllll ... So weird!!!!! Which begs the question ‘Do you really love her in the first place???’.

In this scene, the moment he heard those words from Sasuke, Sakura was out of the picture. Important point to note, Naruto still had a crush on Sakura until this point. 

Moment 1

Sakura: I am going to stab Sasuke-Kun

Sasuke : Am gonna kill you too

**Naruto heroically saves her**

Naruto: Sasuke, Sakura was a member of Team 7.

Sasuke: I don’t give a fuck

Naruto: Anyways, I heard the truth about Itachi and what you’ve been doing so far, is understandable, (including trying to kill Sakura)

Sakura: **surprised pikachu face**

Moment 2

Sakura: I love you, Sasuke-Kun

Sasuke: Annoying!! I am gonna put her in a murdering Genjutsu

Naruto: Sasuke, you shouldn’t have put her in such a strong Genjutsu

Sasuke: If I didn’t , she will come in our way

Naruto: Ummm, that’s true. Let’s go fight!!!

This is the pattern of Team 7 dynamics even until the very end. And I don’t see a love circle at all. 

To put it bluntly,

These words from Naruto is an admonition to Sakura, that is, ‘Whatever happens between us, do not meddle!!’

Sakura is just a third wheel to elevate the relationship between Naruto and Sasuke. Naruto likes her but not more than Sasuke. Naruto will die for Sasuke but not for Sakura. Sasuke will put his life on the line for Naruto but not for Sakura. 

He turns down girls, mainly Sakura when it comes to affection or flirtatiousness. Now it could be just that those girls see him as a trophy and Sakura doesn’t understand him or respect him, however even after Boruto when he “marries” Sakura, it seems he’s depressed and regrets the relationship. He visits Naruto’s family more than his own and I find it depressing and interesting because it shows he chooses Naruto over his own “wife”. Even with Karin, he cares about her as a comrade or friend yet I don’t feel romantic attraction on his side.

Sasuke closed all his walls in his heart to let anyone in, after the massacre. And even before that incident, it was never shown that he had any friends or rather he was frustrated with those boys revering him because of the ‘Uchiha’ name he bears. Uchiha is the powerful clan of Konoha and so everyone has high level of expectations. So, there is that. 

Sasuke was thoroughly frustrated at this comment because nobody is seeing him as a boy named ‘Sasuke’ in his Academy. Even his homeroom teacher saw him as 'Itachi's little brother'. He was clearly facing an identity problem during this time, even in his home. Because Fugaku, Sasuke’s father completely ignored Sasuke and was showing his full attention towards his brother Itachi. When it comes to girls, I don’t have to say anything. They treated him like a trophy. Meaning, Everybody was expecting something from him but nobody was trying to befriend him unconditionally or approach him for who he was. 

This was explained nicely by Itachi in Itachi Shinden novel.

I wish this scene were in the Anime series. Such a warm one.

He was turning down all those girls, because like you said, they just see him as a cool boy who can do anything. And Sakura was one among them. 

If Sasuke looked like Rock Lee, would Sakura have flirted with him??? Absolutely not. 

And to play romance, there should be certain effort from Sasuke’s side, like going for dates or whatever shit, which he was never ready for. Most of all, there should be a reason when you start a relationship. Sakura never tried to reach him in a deeper level and tried to understand his sufferings and hence there were no reason. This is the case even after their marriage. Does she know about Uchiha Clan massacre's reason? Or Itachi? If she had known, she should've educated her daughter and stopped wearing that fucking clan crest on their back. And most of all, what could Sasuke talk with her if she doesn't know a single thing about him?? Their relationship was built on Editorial pressure, regrets and shallowness. Of course, If I were Sasuke, I would avoid my family by staying in my office more.

With Karin, their relationship was purely business 'I use you, you use me' kind. He was very clear about that when he formed 'Team Hebi'.

He helped Suigetsu to get Zabuza's sword and in turn Sasuke wants him to help with his goal. Same with Karin & Jugo. But it seems Sasuke respected her a lot in terms of her strength. Karin was similar to Sakura when it comes to flirting but when it comes to work she means business and can offer Sasuke a lot in terms of Chakra replenishment or sensing enemies plan while battling. That's why he treated her better than Sakura but that's all there is to it. It never went anywhere because Karin knows nothing about him. And Sasuke was not interested in forming a bond with any of Team Taka members either.

In other words, to evolve from a friendship to romance, it takes a massive effort from both sides in terms of understanding. Like I said before, Sasuke built a strong wall around his heart and he never let anyone in it as he saw it as a weakness. Sakura barely made a scratch on that wall. Just for becoming a friend takes a big effort to break that wall. How much effort do you think it takes for romance?? Instead of becoming his friend first, Sakura jumped straight into romance, which makes Sasuke uncomfortable most of the times. Hence the depressed reaction you see in Boruto.

Even with Karin, he cares about her as a comrade or friend yet I don’t feel romantic attraction on his side. Yet I feel a bit of that with him and Naruto.

Hmmm, I don't see Sasuke having a romantic attraction with Naruto. Romantic attraction leans towards sexual desire. But, Sasuke has more of a childlike attraction which leans towards purity and innocence, like more of a desire to be near Naruto, will never be bored even if it was for eternity and would like to look after his safety without expecting anything back.

I've seen this quite a few times.

Sasuke is not competing here, otherwise he would have walked ahead Naruto. He just wants to walk along side him.

This is that dream sequence after their fight. Sasuke, just like before, approaches Naruto by himself and listens to him intently. I am pretty sure he could do this for a whole day and still would not leave him.

LOL. Sasuke, at this moment, doesn’t gives two shit about the world. Meaning he is not missing anyone from there. The person he really wants to be with is right next to him. He even convinces Naruto that Kakashi and Sakura will do something and he doesn’t have to worry. However the moment Naruto leaves, he worries and looks around for him. 

This is what I called, an innocent attraction and the desire to be around the person you feel warm and comfortable. 

But every possibility of changing this into romance is already there. Because Naruto broke his wall long back and has a high place in his heart. A strong friendship with an innocent attraction is all there. If someday Kishi comes out and said 'Sasuke loved Naruto', I won't be surprised at all.

Sasuke being comfortable enough to show his vulnerability with Naruto and that had me thinking... is this Sasuke accepting his love for Naruto? Is this Sasuke allowing Naruto to open him and save him. It seems Naruto was the first and only person that made his way to his heart, even expanding it just a little.

I think Sasuke started to like Naruto unknowingly ever since he started to watch him secretly. Because it always makes him feel warm and fuzzy. 

But, the scars left by Itachi made Sasuke feel that having people around will always makes him weak. Meaning, The more people you love and when you lose them, you will feel weak. Hence, he was very hesitant to reach Naruto. Slowly but surely, Naruto was already making his way into Sasuke’s heart. And once they were put in the same team, he just loved Naruto unconditionally. That’s why he almost gave his life for him.

But Once Sasuke decided to leave the village, he severed all the ties with Konoha, including Kakashi and Sakura. The level of bond Sasuke had with them can be cut off by saying ‘Thank you’. But with Naruto, it takes more than that. Because for Sasuke, Naruto’s existence itself is making him weak by bringing back all the feelings he once had for him. Like Orochimaru said, Naruto has certain power to influence Sasuke’s heart. So Sasuke decided to kill him but in the end he simply couldn’t. 

Everytime Sasuke strays off the path, Naruto will always appear and remind him that he is his friend

Every time Naruto appears and talks to him, Sasuke’s heart was changing but he simply doesn’t want that and he hates that feeling. Which was why he wants to destroy Naruto and whatever he represents. What Naruto represents is a powerful bond between Sasuke and Naruto.

In the final fight, he simply couldn’t cut that bond even though he had a chance to kill. These bipolar battles are what he was fighting all along internally. And finally accepts that he lost and was happy for it. Those words, ‘I lost’ meant he lost the fight physically and mentally he had with Naruto and was ready to totally embrace the feelings he already had.  

It’s not Naruto who was expanding Sasuke’s heart a little, Sasuke already gave a wide berth for Naruto and one day decided to close it. In the end, he couldn’t. 

I can’t help but feel like Naruto could possibly be bi with women preference or don’t realize it. I can’t help but feel like Sasuke might be gay or bi. I don’t want to state it as a fact because we don’t know their sexualities canon wise plus I want to respect the author’s creation however I can’t see those two as straight, especially Sasuke.

As for their sexualities, I seriously could not conclude anything. But from the way Naruto behaves, he certainly looks like a closeted bisexual just like Kishimoto. And Kishi was not hold his guns in this aspect at all, he went all out in the Manga chapter 347. 

I mean it was evident from the way he casted Multiple Reverse Harem no jutsu before Kaguya without any reaction but when Konohamaru did the same Jutsu with Sai and Sasuke, he looked visibly disgusted.

Why to react extremely when Konohamaru is doing the same as you? Probably he doesnt like Sasuke in this jutsu I guess. LOL.

When asked about that ‘accidental’ kiss again, he reacts visibly disgusted but at the same time with a Nosebleed. This screams ‘Closet bisexual’ to me.

As for Sasuke, I simply see him as close to Asexual and possibly demisexual for Naruto.

Why Asexual?

Because Kishi purposefully made Sasuke to be in certain awkward scenes and on top of it, he painted an over sexualized aura all over him, in part II of the manga. It was evident from his bare chested costumes and the way characters like Karin behaves around him. In the same chapter 347, Kishi went all out for Sasuke too.

I don’t even know why Kishi made this scene. But it certainly shows Sasuke wasn’t bothered by a naked man at all unlike Naruto who acted disgusted.

I simply cannot see Sasuke will be romantically attracted to someone if they cannot form a strong bond with him. And to form that kind of bond is not an easy task. But even for a demisexual, there will be a preference. and his preference were not any of those girls especially Sakura. So, I can safely say, if he ever wants to be romantic, all the possibilities points towards Naruto. Because of certain obsession he has towards Naruto throughout the War arc.  

Believe me, Obsession comes from two ways. You will be obsessed on someone whom you hate to your bone because of what they did to you. Most possibly, a hard betrayal. Or, You will be obsessed on someone who you love above yourself. 

Itachi falls under the first category (that’s why when Sasuke was told Itachi was good all along, he couldn’t accept the fact that he hated him for wrong reasons and he snapped and went onto a killing spree because of that obsession. Even though he was sane after losing his parents) and Naruto falls in the later.

Like he was basically saying ‘Naruto is my person. Only I can kill him, he is not yours’ to Obito when he was trying to kill Naruto. And where did these obsession comes from provided Naruto never betrayed him in any which ways? Because of all the past he had with him and he was already in love but was trying to deny it.

Anyways at the end of the day, I don’t mind their sexualities at all. What matters is how they prioritizes each other at any given situations without an ounce of regrets. Because, like I always say, their bond transcends way beyond Marriage, Children and Sex. 

Hope my answer helps :-)

[robininthelabyrinth]

For the prompts! Wen Qing/Jiang Cheng, accidental marriage that still has to be honoured for political reasons.

Wen Qing was a proud woman, talented and arrogant in it – but all of her medical skills didn’t help defend her when she refused to raise a sword in the Wen sect’s war of aggression. She’d been offered a post as the head of a supervisory office, with assurances that she could offer her medical services to prisoners of war as well as Wen cultivators, but it hadn’t taken her long to realize that her prisoners of war were being sent to the Fire Palace and then back to her, her medical assistance being used to prolong their pain rather than end it.

She “carelessly” permitted a break-out of the most grievously wounded and, out of shame for having failed, resigned her post. Instead, she went to join battlefields, offering what care she could to whoever she saw on the basis that she couldn’t be sure if those cultivators in different colors weren’t secretly Wen spies.

It was not a position that made her very popular.

She was still surnamed Wen and Wen Ruohan had once prized her talents in peacetime; no matter how much disgrace she was in, it wasn’t enough to lead to her immediate execution, or that of her loyal subordinates. She was safe enough from that, and from the base physical abuse that other women in the Wen battle camps faced –

But not safe from everything.

The attack on the Jiang sect had been brutal; she hadn’t known about it in advance and had rushed over as soon as she could to preserve what lives she could, even though Wen Chao and Wang Lingjiao laughed at her frenzy as pointless – the order had been to wipe them out.

She smiled in the face of their mockery and sent her subordinates to help “clean up” instead, smuggling as many of those still living as she could out of the Lotus Pier in boats filled with corpses. Wen Ning was especially good at it, since Wen Chao seemed incapable of remembering either his name or his face for more than a handful of moments at any given time, and seemed to generally assume that someone had given him proper orders to do…something.

It only worked in the spaces where no one was paying attention, though. There wasn’t anything she could do when the guards brought back Jiang Cheng to be the star entertainment in Wen Chao’s celebration of his victory. She couldn’t save him.

She couldn’t even save herself.

“Qing-jie,” Wen Chao called, laughing; Wang Lingjiao at his side was positively cackling, tears in her eyes. “We found you a husband to match you, Qing-jie – look at him, a perfect fit for you: beautiful and useless! Say ‘thank you, Wen-gongzi’.”

Jiang Cheng might be beautiful, underneath the tears and the blood that covered him, the ruin of his chest and back, the bruises that stained his flesh, but his eyes were empty and dull – as dead as the golden core inside of him that was no more. That wasn’t something her medicine could fix, even if Wen Chao would be inclined to let her try.

“Thank you, Wen-gongzi,” Wen Qing said politely. “Do you want me to take him out of your sight?”

That would have been too easy.

Her subordinates had all been sent away; she was alone, outnumbered and helpless, and with Wen Zhuliu standing close by, his eyes a little too intense as he stared at her, she didn’t dare protest – not even when they wrapped her in a banner of red silk and had Wang Lingjiao stick pins in her hair, a mockery of a bride’s wear, or when they made her kneel down in front of them and bow three times: to the Jiang ancestral shrine and to Wen Chao as representative of her ancestors, to the heavens and to the earth, to Jiang Cheng…

He was barely conscious for the process, which wasn’t a surprise – the discipline whip was not a toy to be played with lightly – but he was aware enough to flinch away from her when they were thrown into a room together, a cheap storage room with nothing but a bed inside, the door locked behind them.

“I’m not going to touch you,” she said to him. “Don’t worry. I wouldn’t do that.”

He looked at her dully. “Do you have a choice? They’ll check.”

It was Wen Qing’s turn to flinch. It would be just like Wang Lingjiao’s vile bitterness – this entire thing stunk of her plotting – to get some grannies to come in later to confirm that Wen Qing had, in fact, lost her purity. That was the goal of this, surely, in addition to humiliating her for having been better liked by Wen Ruohan than the useless Wen Chao had ever been, son or not – after something like this, she would never be able to marry anyone else.

Her husband would be beautiful, but useless, and he’d hate her for doing this to him in the bargain.

She closed her eyes and felt the tears drip down her face. “I’ve been helping people escape, where I can. There’s not much I can do, just little things, but – some people have lived that would have otherwise died. That’s worth something, isn’t it..?”

She shook her head when she realized she was trying to talk him into agreeing to it. She wanted to live, yes, but…at this cost?

“I won’t –”

“Just do it,” he said, cutting her off. “I’m useless now. If you can help even a few people live…that’s more than I can do.”

He was as much of a virgin as she was, and they fumbled together through it, neither of their bodies cooperating to make the process easier – he was in pain and in mourning, she was revolted by the idea of the rape she was committing, but in the end they managed it.

Wang Lingjiao came the next morning with the grannies, triumphant smile on her face, and of course she laughed at Wen Qing, pretending as if it had all been a joke that Wen Qing had taken far too seriously – but now that she’d gone ahead and lost her purity, well, what could be done..?

“Is there anything else you want?” Wen Qing asked coolly, not letting the vile things pouring out of Wang Lingjiao’s mouth touch her. When it came to questions of purity, at least she had bowed to the heavens and earth before touching her husband – Wang Lingjiao couldn’t even say that much.

Perhaps Wang Lingjiao sensed her barely-hidden disdain, and realized the cause for it, because she bristled and ordered Wen Qing to accompany her for the day, treating her like a maid in the guise of giving her ‘marital advice’ – and in the end the only good thing that came out of it was that Wen Qing had a very good alibi when her husband mysteriously disappeared.

Wang Lingjiao slapped her a few times on the basis that she must have forgotten to lock the door, but even hypocrites like them couldn’t concoct any way for this to actually be Wen Qing’s fault.

She went back to her room later that evening, and found her brother had come back at some point.

“Did you..?” she started, then stopped, because of course he had. Her little brother was good at saving people. “Thank you.”

He shrugged, averting his eyes. “Jiejie, they said –”

“A joke,” she said firmly, rolling her eyes. “You know Wen Chao’s sense of humor. So I did a bit of bowing, so what? It’s not like it counts if you don’t mean it.”

Wen Ning looked relieved, then glanced from side to side, his shoulders hunching. “Jiejie…do you think you can come away with me for a little while?”

“Where to?”

“Back to Yiling,” he said. “There’s a patient there that could use your help.”

Wen Qing repressed a sigh at how obvious her little brother was – he wasn’t born to be a spy. But she found a reason to make some excuses (Wang Lingjiao was pouting over her plan not being funny anymore, and convinced everyone to agree as long as it meant Wen Qing would leave) and she went to Yiling, where Wei Wuxian waited.

Where he asked her to –

Well, at least her husband wouldn’t be useless anymore, she argued to herself, and pretended that what she was doing wasn’t every bit as much a violation as what she had done to him in that spare room.

He probably wouldn’t forgive her, if he knew – but he wouldn’t know.

He would go his way, she would go hers, and they wouldn’t meet again.

She thought that way for a long time.

Long enough to run to Wei Wuxian, who owed her a favor, to rescue her brother – long enough to follow him back to the Burial Mounds – long enough to expect a siege.

She hid behind a tree when she saw the flash of purple that was Jiang Cheng walking up the mountain.

“Jiang Cheng,” Wei Wuxian said in greeting – he looked calm, but she could tell he was nervous. “You’re here about the Wen remnants, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” Jiang Cheng said, and he looked irritated. “I’m here to bring you back to Yunmeng.”

“I’m not going –”

“Without them, yes, I figured,” Jiang Cheng snapped. “The entire cultivation world knows that by now, I think. I told them you were acting under my orders.”

Wei Wuxian’s jaw dropped. “You did what?! Jiang Cheng! The whole point of doing it without telling you was so that you could avoid being blamed for it!”

“Maybe you should have told me what you were planning first,” Jiang Cheng said snidely. “Then we could have coordinated better. Are you going to get moving or not?”

“Wen Ning can’t be moved yet,” Wei Wuxian said automatically, then frowned. “You really told everyone that you permitted my actions? What – is the Jin sect upset?”

Jiang Cheng just gave him a look.

“Of course they’re upset,” Wei Wuxian answered his own question. “But…you’re here, and you want to bring everyone back to the Lotus Pier. You – convinced Jin Guangshan to drop his claim?”

Jiang Cheng nodded.

“How?”

“I told him that we discovered that he’d accidentally kidnapped my wife,” Jiang Cheng said.

Wen Qing covered her face with her hands, stifling a yell in her throat. He couldn’t be serious!

“Your – wife?” Wei Wuxian said blankly. “You…married?”

Nothing they’d encountered so far had stumped him – not her request, not the Jin sect, not the Burial Mounds – but apparently the thought of Jiang Cheng having tied the knot was all it took to break him.

“To who?!”

“Wen Qing,” Jiang Cheng said. “She’s here, isn’t she?”

Wen Qing made a face, gathered her courage, and walked out from behind the tree.

“Sandu Shengshou,” she said politely. He nodded back at her in a way that would be all regal and dignified except for the way his cheeks flushed pink at the sight of her.

Which was better than she expected, honestly – she wouldn’t have held it against him to pull out his sword and stab her.

“…Jiang Cheng, you can’t do that,” Wei Wuxian exclaimed. “You can’t just say you’re married to someone! Wen Qing has a reputation to think about, what if she wants to get married someday –”

“She’s already married,” Jiang Cheng said flatly. “To me.”

“Jiang Cheng!”

“You don’t have to honor it,” Wen Qing said before Wei Wuxian could say too much. “It was under duress; no one would hold you to it.”

“I hold myself to it,” Jiang Cheng said, crossing his arms in what was probably meant to be impressive but came off as defensive. “We bowed to the heavens and earth together. I’m not going to – it counts. At least to me, it counts.”

He hesitated, even as Wei Wuxian’s head swiveled between the two of them faster than an open window in a thunderstorm, his mouth gaping open like a fish.

“I mean – I’m not going to demand anything from you,” Jiang Cheng continued, ducking his head. “Just, you know, politically, I thought – if you wanted –”

Wen Qing can’t quite keep herself from smiling. Her husband was even more charming when he was being extremely awkward and ill-footed than he was when he was being impressive.

“I’d be happy to go back to Yunmeng with you,” she said, and he smiled – he was rather attractive when he smiled, actually. Wen Chao hadn’t been wrong when he’d called him beautiful. “But only after Wei-gongzi finishes with my brother.”

“What is he doing with your brother?” Jiang Cheng asked.

There was a little bit of a fuss after that, what with Wen Ning taking that moment to wake up as a fierce corpse and just barely recover his consciousness – Wen Qing secretly suspected he’d waited for the most dramatic moment to do so, and if this one hadn’t been dramatic enough, he would’ve waited longer – but in the end it all worked out.

The Lotus Pier was a much better place to rest than the Burial Mound, no matter what Wei Wuxian’s grandiose plans for a home there had been; Jiang Cheng arranged for rooms for all of them near the main family home and told his disciples to keep an eye out for anyone who even thought to make trouble.

Wen Ning was shown to a room not far from Wei Wuxian’s.

Wen Qing –

Jiang Cheng stared at the hallway in front of him, body stiff and cheeks bright red. “My sister’s room is on the right,” he said. “She’s currently staying at Koi Tower, and I don’t believe she’s coming back – an engagement is in the works between her and the Jin sect heir, and anyway even if she was, she wouldn’t mind you taking it for a while.”

“Mm,” Wen Qing said. “And which one’s yours?”

Jiang Cheng was adorable when he started stuttering about how he really wasn’t going to pressure her into –

“I meant to sleep,” she clarified and poked him. “Besides, given what happened between us, I would understand entirely if you’re not attracted to me –”

“You’re extremely pretty and I like you a lot but I don’t know how to deal with that!” he yowled.

“We can date,” Wen Qing decided, not even pretending not to smile. “Take it slow – get to know each other.”

That plan lasted exactly one shichen.

(Wen Qing wasn’t sure how they’d started kissing, but Jiang Cheng had valiantly asked her if she was sure when about half their clothing was off, which was very noble of him but also extremely getting in the way of what she currently wanted, so she’d justified it with a half-assed excuse about needing to make sure they’d be compatible as marriage partners and he’d found the argument convincing. To no one’s surprise, sex was much better without the duress and one party being half-dead from torture.)

Afterwards, though, when he was running his fingers through her hair, she felt the slight stirring of her conscience. If they were going to be married – originally forced and politically convenient as the marriage might be – was it really acceptable to go into it with lies?

“…I know why Wei Wuxian didn’t tell you about coming to help me,” she said, and Jiang Cheng’s fingers stopped. “And about why he hasn’t been helping you here. I’ll talk to him tomorrow and tell him he needs to tell you about it. You should know in advance that you’re probably going to be very angry when you hear it.”

“I’m just happy to know that there is a secret reason,” Jiang Cheng confessed, his voice low. “I thought – never mind.”

Wen Qing didn’t need to know all of Jiang Cheng’s history to know what it probably was: he’d thought the problem was with him; that somehow, through some failing, he’d driven Wei Wuxian away.

“I’ll talk to him tomorrow,” she said. “He’ll tell you, or I will. We’ll all have a great big fight about it and then we can decide what we’re going to do next.”

“I like how practical you are,” Jiang Cheng said. “It’s one of my favorite things about you.”

Wen Qing squinted at him. “You barely know anything about me. How can you have a favorite?”

“I know lots of things. I like the way you pretend that you don’t want to strangle people when you think they’re being stupid –”

“You’re not allowed to like that!”

Maybe this marriage had a chance of working out after all.

[jessicajonesrp]

Choosing sides

Jessica was dreading this conversation, more than any she could ever remember having in her life. She wasn’t much of a talker by nature as it was. But talking about important, uncomfortable things, things that were life changing and painful…honestly, Jessica would rather break several bones, because that kind of pain was far easier for her to deal with.

She knew that Luke and Trish were right about Phillip. They had literally shoved the proof in her face until she couldn’t deny it. But that didn’t mean she knew what to do about it. Stop him, obviously. Their suggestion had been for her to talk to him. She, apparently, was the only person Phillip might respect enough to listen to. But Jessica had never been good at convincing when it came to words rather than threats, and there wasn’t a lot she could threaten Phillip with that might be effective. She couldn’t even tell people she loved them without having a near panic attack over it. How was she supposed to convince her brother to stop killing people?

She had barely slept, considering the large quantity of alcohol she had consumed the night before, and the little sleep she snatched was plagued with nightmares that left her gasping and trembling when she woke. Hungover and on edge, she had been fighting to ignore Kilgrave’s voice whispering in her ear for most of the morning as she drank several cups of coffee. She couldn’t completely block out his assurances that she was doomed to failure before she started, that her brother actually had the right idea to kill everyone who had hurt him and Jessica, and nothing she said would convince him otherwise. She couldn’t stop hearing his goading her to give up the hero “act” and join in, to abandon Luke and Trish, who could never really understand her and who would never really think her good enough, and join up with her brother, as her genetics had already predetermined she would.

She would never actually listen to Kilgrave’s voice in her head. But she couldn’t help but hear it, and it rattled her before she could even begin.

She called Phillip mid morning, arranging with him as casually as she could to come by his apartment to pick him up and take him out for breakfast. What she didn’t tell him was that once she got to his apartment, she would make an excuse to need to use his bathroom, then spring her confrontation on him within the privacy of the walls. She also didn’t tell him that Luke would be riding with her to his apartment and once he saw both Jessica and Phillip go inside, he would come to “casually” stand outside on its landing, just in case she needed help or interference.

This wasn’t Jessica’s preference. She had insisted, with some heat, that she didn’t need help or a bodyguard, that if she was going to talk to Phillip, they needed privacy. But both Luke and Trish had been equally insistent that given what they knew, they refused to let her be alone with Phillip without someone at least within hearing distance of her if he tried something. As Trish had pointed out, whatever Jessica’s strength, she wasn’t immune to fire, especially if it happened to be all over her body at once.

She was quiet in the car ride over to Phillip’s, but her knees jogged in an irritatingly hyperactive manner that she blamed on excessive caffeine or possible alcohol withdrawal rather than nerves. As they parked the car and Jessica walked alone to the outside landing of Phillip’s apartment/motel, she was very aware of her heart having decided, seemingly, to lodge itself uncomfortably high in her throat.

Phillip opened the door with a smile and a nod; something she had noted was that like her, he didn’t seem one for excessive physical contact. She attempted to return the smile but was pretty sure it looked more like a grimace.

“Hey, sis,” he greeted, looking unruffled, even amused. “Rough night?”

She wondered whether it was the not-smile, her barely brushed hair, or her skin’s even paler than usual hue that had clued him in on that.

“You could say that,” she said vaguely. “Hey, can I come in for a second to use your bathroom?”

“Yeah, sure,” he said, stepping back to let her in. “You’re not going to throw up, are you? If you’re that hung over, breakfast might not be the best idea.”

“No, just need to pee,” she muttered. She quickly scanned the interior of the room as Trish had when she broke into it, noting as Trish had how very little personal belongings were inside it. Did her brother really have so little in the world, or was it possible that he had a storage building somewhere that had things he didn’t use on a daily basis or didn’t want others to see?

She took her time in the bathroom, avoiding her reflection in the mirror. When she emerged, knowing there could be no further stalling, she started to talk.

“Phil, we have to talk about something important before we go anywhere or do anything.”

“I agree,” Phillip said with surprising seriousness, and Jessica blinked, wondering if it was possible that he had somehow already guessed the reason for her visit and the planned discussion. Could this be easier than she thought- was he already ready to stop on his own, even ready to confess?

No, as it turned out.

“Your drinking concerns me, Jessie,” he said solemnly, looking Jessica in the eyes. “Every time I’ve seen you, you’re drinking or planning to drink, or you’re hung over from being drunk the day before. I’m all for letting loose and having fun sometimes, but I don’t think that’s what this is for you. You’re a married woman now, and I know that sometimes…well, it can be hard to deal with relationship stress, and especially when there’s serious problems there. Sometimes people use drinking to deal with something that they don’t know how to escape. I know you’re strong and independent, you don’t like to ask for help. And your husband has been nothing but nice and generous to me, but I know some people are one way in public and another way behind closed doors. Jessie…are things okay with you and Luke? You would tell me if you needed help, wouldn’t you? If he was hurting you? The way you drink, and how he just stands back and lets you, like it doesn’t bother him…it worries me, Jessie. You know I would do anything to help you, don’t you? Anything at all.”

Jessica had to take several seconds to attempt to process his words. They were so completely off and twisted and unexpected that they stunned her silent. When she finally understood what he was implying- in multiple ways- it struck her as so wrong as to be morbidly funny, and she burst out laughing. Phillip continued to regard her, his expression still serious.

“It isn’t funny, Jessica. Men should protect their women, even from themselves, if necessary. If he’s doing something to drive you into this kind of drinking, or even if he just encourages you or thinks it’s fine-“

“Oh my god, shut up Phillip, would you just stop?” Jessica blurted, her laughter cutting off as Phillip pressed on. “This isn’t about Luke. None of that is in any way even a little bit true, so just stop it, you’re wrong, okay? You don’t know shit about Luke, and however much so-called research or if you want to get real about it, stalking, that you’ve done on me, you obviously still don’t know a lot about who I really am either. We’re not talking about Luke, and if you say anything that even implies he would hurt me again, to anyone, I swear I’m punching you upside the head. We have to talk about you, Phillip. You.”

She swallowed, then squared her shoulders, drawing herself up to her full height and softening her tone, but not the steel behind her voice.

“I know about you, Phillip. I know what you’re doing, and what you’ve done. It doesn’t matter how I know, I’m a PI, so I know, okay? Do me the favor of not playing stupid. Respect me enough as your sister to look me in the face and admit that you’re the one who set my office on fire. Look me in the eyes and admit to me the truth. You killed that woman in the parking garage. You killed the doctors that operated on us both after the accident. You killed at least four people that I know of, and you’re planning on killing more. Look at me and admit it.”

Something furtive and strange flickered over Phillip’s eyes, and his jaw tensed, his Adam’s apple bobbing briefly. He didn’t noticeably shift his posture, but Jessica was aware suddenly of the slight advantage in height that he had over her, the larger size of his frame, and the subtle darkening of his expression.

“You already think you know everything, so I suppose there’s no point in giving denials when it won’t change your beliefs,” Phillip said quietly. “So if you know what you think you do, Jessica, then you know that I didn’t choose my…abilities, no more than you did. They were forced on me, just as they were forced on you. Think about this, Jessica. A little boy, barely alive, lied to that every person in his family was dead. Experimented on against his will, not for his survival, or even to help, but for the interest and egotistical satisfaction of adult men who liked to play god. Painfully, and for no other purpose than to see what could be achieved. I could have been normal, Jessica. They could have let me be normal, but that didn’t happen. They could have let me have a normal life, with my sister, a normal childhood.”

He was just warming up, taking a step towards Jessica. She resisted her urge to back away.

“The foster parents, they all knew, do you realize that? They knew who I was and what had been done to me, what I could do. They got extra money for taking me in, and for the measures that they took to supposedly keep me safe. I grew up in foster homes where I barely interacted with anyone, where I didn’t go to a normal school or have normal interactions with other kids. I had a bed made of steel, no blankets, and was kept in homes specially designed and insulated against fire. Mostly, I was kept in my bedroom. And once I was eighteen, I was dumped out on the street to get by on my own. I had nothing. I was given nothing, I was lied to, and I had to find my way, find the truth, all alone.”

“Phillip,” Jessica started, her mouth dry. She could imagine this all too vividly, and her chest ached for her own memory of her ten year old brother, alone and terrified, believing himself orphaned, as herself had. “I hate what happened to you, but that doesn’t make what you’re doing right. We’ve both been through terrible shit, we both had it rough, but that doesn’t mean-“

“Do you know that when I set a fire, I feel the heat through my entire body, nearly as intensely and painfully as whoever it is that experiences the outside burn? You understand, then, that I don’t take this ability lightly or use it frivolously. It was given to me out of arrogance, but I use it for only the good of society,” Phillip interrupted her. To Jessica’s incredulity, he seemed to be completely serious. “You have to know, Jessica, that those people you say I murdered did not deserve to be living. They abused a child, their positions of medicine and as caregivers, their power and authority and the respect that society gave them. Think of how many other children may still be vulnerable to them and abused by them, if I hadn’t intervened. I only did what was right.”

“Phillip, that isn’t true!” Jessica snapped. “Listen to yourself! You are not a personal judge and executor of whoever you come across that’s immoral, you’re not some kind of vigilante appointed by destiny to murder fucking scumbags! You have to know that isn’t right, that isn’t how you go about life! People like us, however we got our powers, we can’t use them like that against people. It isn’t okay, Phillip, it isn’t right!”

“You’re one to talk,” Phillip said coolly, looking her dead on and with considerable judgment. “I know what you did to Kevin Kilgrave, Jessica. You say you can’t use your powers like that, but isn’t that what you did to him? You killed him, because you thought it was what society needed. Tell me again how what I’m doing is any different.”

Jessica’s mouth opened, then closed, her pale cheeks flaming. It was the same argument she fought against with herself every day, the same thing that Kilgrave often said to her. She knew that this was different, logically, but emotionally, Phillip had hit her in a vulnerable spot.

“That was different,” she said finally, but with less conviction than she would like. “Kilgrave could and would hurt anyone and everyone, and there was nothing that could stop him. Nothing but me. These people are just humans, Phillip. Evil humans, maybe, but still humans. They can be dealt with through traditional societal means. Hell, they can be bullied and coerced into confessing, if it comes to that, but they can have jail time, they can be contained within a jail cell, they aren’t a threat to every single person they ever come across. They aren’t like us, Phillip, and what you’re doing, it’s making you worse than them. It’s making you become worse. Is that what you want? You want to be worse than the people you know were wrong?”

But Phillip was already shaking his head, a hint of a sad smile twisting his lips.

“They’ve done a number on you, haven’t they? Trish and her twisted, lying, money hungry bitch of a mother. Luke too, whatever front he puts up of being such a gentleman, such a helpful, friendly sort of guy. They make you think you’re different, you’re special, you have a purpose, but only as they define it. There is no limit to who you are and what you should do. You survived the power they gave you and how they gave it to you for a reason, and you refuse to use it like you can.”

“No,” Jessica countered. “I refuse to use it as I shouldn’t. And I can’t let you use it like that either.”

Brother and sister regarded each other silently, a wide chasm growing deeper between them with each second as they took in each other’s stance. Jessica had never felt so alone as in that moment; in a way, it was as bad as the first few moments of understanding that her entire family, as she had thought at the time, was dead. She was standing only feet away from her brother, but she was losing him again, even as he stood breathing and within grasp.

“What are you going to do to me if I don’t follow your self imposed rules, Jessica?” Phillip asked lightly, but there was no lightness in his expression. “Beat me up? Knock me out and chain me?”

It was something she was considering, although she didn’t currently have the means to carry it out.

“What will you do if I try?” Jessica countered. “Burn me alive like your other enemies?”

Phillip didn’t answer her directly. Instead he nodded his head towards the door, gesturing in its direction.

“I think it’s safe to say that our plans for breakfast are cancelled, as of now,” he said softly. “Why don’t we leave things as they are, for now. Go back to your husband, Jessica. I suspect he’s standing outside the door right now, or else waiting in the parking lot. Go back to your husband, and why don’t we just forget this conversation.”

“I can cancel breakfast, and I can go to Luke, but I will never forget this,” Jessica leveled back at him, every muscle in her body tensed with her effort to hold back equal urges to knock him out as he had stated, and to break into tears. “I think it’s safe to say you can consider yourself fired at the warehouse, Phillip.”

She backed towards the door, never taking her eyes off him; she could not be certain now, could not trust, that he would not set her on fire, if she did. Touching the doorknob, she stopped, leveling one last effort towards him.

“Phillip…please. Please, you have to stop this, you have to. You don’t have to do this. You don’t have to be this. Please, please be the better person. Be the person our parents would have been proud of, the person I can be proud of. Please, Phillip, please don’t do this to yourself. Don’t do this to me.”

Her voice nearly broke, and she bit hard on the inside of her cheeks to regain control. But Phillip’s expression barely wavered.

“Unfortunately, Jessie, I don’t remember enough about our parents to have any idea of what they would have been proud of, so forgive me if I have to go by my own judgment.”

There was nothing more she could say to that. There was little she could have managed without a complete loss of control to either violence or tears, so Jessica left, slamming the door behind her hard enough that the doorknob broke off in her hand. Tossing it down, she brushed back Luke, head down, without speaking, almost throwing herself into the car.

Phillip watched her leave through a crack in the blinds of his motel window, waiting until he was certain she was out of earshot. Then he picked up his phone and dialed a contact that showed up on his list of calls and texts far more often than any other- Rikarah Pallaton.

“Hey, baby. So Jessica knows, and she reacted about like we thought she would. Looks like it’s time for me to move in with you full time, if you’re ready. And it looks like we need to skip a few steps ahead.”

“Of course,” said a smooth, unruffled female voice on the other line. “I didn’t think she would accept reality quite so soon, with the drinking being a factor in clouding her judgment, but I suppose she’s sharp enough regardless to piece things together. Are we targeting the Walker woman first- the mother, of course?”

“Yes,” Phillip nodded, his tone cold. “You have her number. Make the call today, and let me know when she’s in place for my part.”

“Certainly. I’ll see you soon, love.”

[starrynite7114]

Snapshots: First time

A/N: FINALLY! The wait is over! An update is here! I apologize for such a long wait. It’s been a crazy year, but I’ve been trying to get my muse back so I can write for you lovely people! Again, not super confident with my smut, but I am definitely trying. 

If you all have any request for Angel & ‘you’ for snapshots, just send them in. Heck, if you have any Angel Reyes one shots that you want to request, throw it my way. 

Once again, enjoy the update! Happy 2020!

Warning: Smut! 

Rafael laughed as you laid on his couch, forearm over your eyes.

“Let me get this straight, you ran away from Angel, who was hot and sweaty because you were embarrassed?”

Hearing Rafael repeat your idiotic move made you groan out loud once again. You and Angel have been dating for 2 weeks and as much as your make out sessions have been ridiculously amazing, you actually haven’t had sex.

Why was that?

You weren’t a virgin. You were a hot blooded female who had sexual needs. But at the same time, you couldn’t move to the next step with Angel. You’ve had your fair share of heated kisses, but you always get interrupted or you wussy out. It was becoming harder and harder. 

Bless your boyfriend since he was nothing but respectful. He didn’t want to push you. Angel knew how much of a big deal your first time was to you and the last thing he wanted to do was push you. 

“Stop, I know, I’m an idiot.” You groaned. 

“You’re not an idiot, I just don’t think it’s hit you yet.” 

You gave him a confused look. “What?”

“You’ve had sex before, you’ve had sex after Jake even though Angel will never know about these nameless men,” Rafael snickered. “But I think you haven’t transitioned from best friend to girlfriend, or you can’t combine the two together.” 

“What?” You knew what Rafael was referring too, you just didn’t think it was that obvious for everyone else. These past 2 weeks have been amazing with Angel, but at times, it feels as if it isn’t real. The only added perk to your relationship was kissing, but you couldn’t bring yourself to the next level and it was upsetting you. You wanted to, god you wanted to, but every time you’re about to take it to the next level, you just shrink. 

“Are you afraid of what it’s going to change?”

“What?” You repeated. 

Rafael fought the urge to roll his eyes at you. He loved you dearly, but you can be a bit slow at times, which he didn’t mind, but he knew how different things were for you. You never thought you would get Angel, Angel was unattainable. But now you had him, it was like you were still shell-shocked. 

Relationships do not easily transition as they do in movies or television. You were so used to just being friends with Angel, that moving their relationship to the next level was difficult. You were so used to being just his friend that whenever the opportunity presented itself, you didn’t know how to let it go all the way. 

“I can read you better than anyone, well, not better than Angel, but I can to some extent.” Rafael sat next to you, placing your head on his lap. “This is your defense mechanism.” 

“What?” You removed your forearm that was covering your eyes and looked up at him

“You still feel some type of way about Angel being with other people.” You gave him a look. “Not in that way, I know you’re not going to give him shit over women he slept with before you, but I think you’re protecting yourself in the event that Angel decides that he doesn’t want to continue with this relationship,” Rafael explained. “Which I think is bullshit by the way because you know Angel won’t even change his mind.”

“I don’t think that’s true, I just, I’m weird, I don’t know.” You didn’t want to give Rafael the satisfaction that he was right. You were stubborn like that, but you know he can read right through you. 

“In your head, if you two never have sex, you can still go back to being friends with him.” 

You wanted to throw a pillow at Rafael, but you knew he was right. You covered your eyes with your forearm once again, making Rafael laugh. 

“I can never go back to being just friends with him.”

“And you won’t because this is it. Angel is all in and I wish you were too.”

Your eyebrows furrowed at Rafael’s suggestion. “I am all in.”

“Are you? You seem to be finding every excuse to not fully commit.” Rafael pointed out annoyingly. 

“What do you mean? I am fully committed to Angel.”

“But are you? If you were, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now. I get it, you’re trying to protect yourself, it still hasn’t hit you that you two are together.” Rafael said all the reasons that were running through your mind. “But if Angel was truly your best friend, you should trust him. He would never hurt you intentionally. If you just see how Angel looks at you, you’d understand why I loved fucking with him. You hold the world in Angel’s eyes, his world revolves around you. I get it, Adelita was a hiccup, but stop holding it against him. How can he fight something he doesn’t know about?” 

You sighed. Rafael was right. This was on you. Angel was incredibly respectful and made sure to not push your boundaries. But you knew he wanted to take things to the next level and it was time that you did. Talking to Angel was your main priority, he didn’t need to be kept in the dark about this, you two were always honest with one another after all. 

He was still your best friend.

“I hate it when you’re right.” 

Rafael laughed. “I’m just pointing out to you that he worships the ground you walk on, even though you think that’s not the case. Angel loves you, he’s made that very clear.” 

“How can he change his mind so quickly?” 

“About how he feels about Adelita?”

You nodded your head.

“Look, it’s always been you for him, I know you find that hard to believe, but you shouldn’t. Angel is the type of man who has always been second best. EZ was always above him. To him, he made that stupid deal with you not because you’re just there, it’s more so due to the fact that he wants to make sure he deserved you.”

“He told me that too.”

“Angel seems like a simple guy however, he’s quite complex. He has a cocky demeanor, but inside all of that is a big softie who is as vulnerable as anyone can be. You’re someone who got out of Santo Padre, but you always came back for him. As much as Angel wanted to keep you out of the life there, he could never let you go,” Rafael further explained. “Angel wanted you to branch out so that once it was time, it was going to be you and him. Sure, it was risky for him to not make a move early on, but Angel fought himself to not be overly selfish with you.”

“How do you even know all of this?” 

“Because I’ve seen this dance between you and Angel, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure all of it out.” Rafael smirked. “And we may have shared a drink or two not too long ago.” 

“You and Angel?” You sat up then, chuckling. “That’s interesting, seeing as how you were public enemy number one.”

“Well, since he found out I much rather sleep with him than you, I’m sure it made him feel at ease.” Rafael chuckled. “So, what are you gonna do?”

“I don’t know, I would hate for Angel to feel that this is his fault.” You weren’t exactly sure how to fix things. Angel has been such a sweetheart and there was nothing more that you wanted to do than rip Angel’s clothes off, but the voice in your head could be so loud at times, it was annoying. 

“You know what, sleeping with Angel might solve all of this, it would just further cement how deep your relationship is,” Rafael knew that this was a conversation for you and Angel. It wasn’t just about reassurance, you had accepted the fact long ago that Angel would never be yours that now that he was, you weren’t exactly sure what you should do.

“Fuck, I feel like I should make it up to him.”

“You don’t need to make it up to him, don’t be silly. Just suck his dick.”

You laughed. “Rafa!”

“What?!” He laughed as well. “Show him the tricks I showed you.”

“I hate you.” You sat up, playful pushing him. 

“But seriously, he loves you, you know this. Stop letting your insecurities dictate your relationship. Take the leap.”

And you will, but you just had to talk to Angel first. Or maybe you can avoid it and just go all the way. You were certain you can distract Angel.

==============================

“She swerved you again?” Coco busted out in laughter. 

Angel sighed as Coco laughed at his ordeal. He wasn’t trying to push you to have sex with him, he was simply trying to seduce you for a lack of a better term. The ball was always in your court and he would never force you to have sex with him. 

He knew how much of a big deal your first time was and this was your first time together. Your first time was with Jake and even though Angel wasn’t holding it against you, it upset him greatly. He would never tell you, but for 2 months, he avoided you. He couldn’t believe you slept with Jake. Did he clock block you on purpose before Jake? Absolutely. He just didn’t think that any man was worthy of you however, he never tried to control you. He just tried to sway you away from possibility fornicating with another man. 

It was the most amusing thing for his brothers, to see Angel to try and dissuade you from having sex when he was sleeping with anything that walked. Angel never had a good reason for his double standard since there was no good reason.

“I still remember when you would try to scare her off from having sex with some guy at her college.” Coco shook his head as he chuckled. “You were a douche bag for that. What if she stayed with Jake because he was her first time? You know what they say, you get attached to the person you gave your V-card to.”

“Who the fuck actually believes that?”

“Plenty of people have been in that situation. My cousin married her bitch ass husband cause she couldn’t break away.”

“Your cousin is divorced.”

“That pendejo was an idiot, Jake isn’t. Jake treated her like a fucking queen. She would have never left him.” Coco slid a beer over to Angel. “You’re just lucky you’ve had her hooked for years or otherwise, Jake and Y/N would have been long gone.”

Angel hated it when people brought up Jake. He was well aware that he almost lost you to that asshole, more than aware. He remembered how hard he tried to be present in your life to assure that Jake wouldn’t be able to sink his claws in you. But for once, you were diverting Angel away, you were giving Jake a shot and it scared him. At times, he still feared you would wake up and decide that this life was not for you and you would go to New York with Jake. That you would realize that Angel wasn’t worth it.

He took a big swig of his drink then, making Coco laugh. 

“Chill man, she won’t leave you now.”

“I know,” his voice betrayed him. He wasn’t actually certain you would never leave him. But he always pushed that thought to the back of his head. Angel was all about living in the moment. But he had moments where he thought of your future together. He wasn’t always so confident however, he tried his best to not let it plague his mind. It would cause trouble that was not needed or necessary. 

“Maybe you should plan out a romantic dinner for her, get her in the mood.” Riz joined in the conversation. 

“I don’t think getting her in the mood is the problem. She’s having a problem transitioning from best friend to girlfriend.” As much as you haven’t told Angel your struggles, he noticed. You were slightly awkward when things became more intimate. 

“What?” Coco was confused, not sure what Angel meant. 

Angel sighed. “We make out all the time, not a problem with her. But when I try to take it to the next level, she tenses up. I know she ain’t afraid of me. Then she becomes awkward, she moves away, covers up.” Angel knew that this was new for you. You’ve made out with your fair share of men, but he knew how transitioning was for you. It seemed like you two were still just friends, with added benefits. Angel never wanted to push the issues since he felt that you may believe it was due to him pressuring you to have sex. But he knew he would have to soon. He could see how nervous you would get whenever his hands would drift down to your underwear, how you would tense up. At first, he brushed it off, but now, he felt as if you weren’t interested and it upset him. Sex was not the only thing in your relationship, but he would like to take it to the next left, to become more intimate with you. 

“Shit man, that’s a situation,” Coco chuckled, he couldn’t help but be amused at this. Angel never had a problem bedding women, but he always knew it would be different with you. 

“You tried talking to her?” Riz questioned.

“How do I talk to her without sounding like a douchebag?”

His brothers nodded their head in agreement. It was a difficult situation. How could he talk to you without sound like he wanted more in order to appease his sexual appetite? 

“Just bring it up in a way that makes it not about sex. For example, ask her why she becomes nervous when you try to take it to the next level, is she afraid or some shit like that.” Taza entered the conversation, getting a beer from Coco. “I must say, it’s refreshing to see you bent up over a woman.” 

“Glad everyone is having fun at my expense,” Angel took a swig of his beer. “She thinks I’m gonna leave her.”

“Only one way for you to leave her and that’s in a box.” Taza shook his head. “You fucked up your girl.”

“I fucked her up?” Angel gave his VP an incredulous look. 

“Come on Angel, ever since you joined the club, Y/N has been by your side. We always thought she was your girl, but you made it very clear in front of her and everyone that she was only your best friend. For so long, that’s all she’s been.” Taza began to explain. “Now, you finally admit your feelings to her and she may just be thinking you’re trying to appease her.” 

“We all thought it was bullshit, but we never pushed it. We’re glad you finally got your head out of your ass.” Riz added. “And thank god you did cause we would hate to deal with you if she ended up marrying that jackass she was with.” The rest of their brothers laughed along with Riz, while Angel just shook his head. 

“I’m sure you’re fully committed to her, but maybe she needs some reassurance.” Gilly suggested. 

For Angel, you shouldn’t need reassurance. Maybe his plan backfired on him, but he couldn’t be selfish with you.

He always had this internal struggle that if he kept you at bay, you can have a normal life and still be in his life. The last thing he wanted was to tie you down to Santo Padre. Everyone knew that Angel’s life was in Santo Padre, he couldn’t leave if he tried. But you, he knew your life was outside of Santo Padre. The last thing he wanted 

He knew that this wouldn’t be the first time you would need reassurance. Maybe he did damage that aspect of your relationship. But if he was to work on it every day for the rest of your lives, he was fine with that. You were the only person to stay by his side regardless of the stupidity he put forth. You always loved him unconditionally with no questions asked. It was time he showed his devotion to you. 

==============================

“Querida!” Angel called out. After a long day at the club, he finally was able to come home to you and Angel could not wait. He was determined to take your relationship to the next level tonight, of course, with your permission. 

“Bathroom!” You responded.

Angel took off his kute, placing it on his armchair before making his way to the bathroom. He stopped by the doorframe, leaning against it with his arms crossed across his chest. He bit his lip before letting out a chuckle. You were going to be the death of him. 

“How’s the water baby?” He questioned. He felt his dick hardening as he watched you play with the bubbles, giving him this smile that always drove him crazy. 

“Good, want to join?” 

“No, I’m good,” Angel walked over to you, placing a kiss on your lips before sitting down beside you but on the bathroom floor. “How was your day?”

“Good, always fun to spend the day with Rafa, how was yours?” 

He watched as you relaxed, leaning back on the tub, waiting for him to reply. If you didn’t want to have sex tonight, he would definitely need to have a cold shower, again. 

“Better now especially cause I have you naked in my bathroom.” Angel put his hand inside the water, playfully splashing you. His forearm rested at the edge of the bathtub, his eyes hungrily roaming around your body. “Got enough room for me?”

“Always,” you smirked, scooting up to show Angel you had enough room for him to sit behind you. 

Angel immediately undressed, smiling as you looked away, playing with the bubbles as he undressed. He sat behind you, pulling you against him, his semi-hardened member resting on your lower back. His arm rested on your chest, as your back rested against him. He whispered an ‘I love you’ into your ear, kissing the side of your head. 

You two sat in silence, your eyes slowly closing as Angel’s warmth was relaxing your whole body. Angel’s lips began to leave faint kisses on your neck, moving your hair as he began to suck on those spots he knew would get you wrapped around his fingers. 

You groaned out as Angel continued his ministrations, one of his hands running down your stomach. 

“You going to run again?” Angel questioned. 

“No,” you breathed out as Angel’s fingers ran up and down your inner thigh.

“Do you have any idea how many times I’ve dreamt of this?” He questioned as his finger ran up and down your slit, causing you to close your eyes and bite your lip, anticipating Angel’s next move. “So many times I’ve dreamt of how you looked without any clothes on, just looking up at me with those eyes of yours.” He bit your ear as he began to circle your clit with his thumb. “Mi vida,” he whispered into your ear as he circled your entrance with his index finger. Your head laid on his chest, your breath hitching when his finger entered your pussy. “Fuck baby,” Angel hissed, his hand squeezing your breast as his fingers began to go in and out. 

“Angel,” you moaned out. He groaned, hearing you moan out his name, not even thinking of how your moans would affect him. His fingers went in and out faster. 

He stopped, moving you so that his legs were on top of yours, spreading your legs wider. His fingers went in and out once again, his thumb strumming on your clit. “Damn baby, you’re tightening up,” he whispered. 

Before you could cum, he pulled out his fingers, making you groan. “Angel!” 

“You’ve been running away and teasing me, it’s payback.” He chuckled. “Let’s get you washed up and I’ll take you to bed, so I can worship you.” 

You and Angel quickly washed up. He dried you up with the towel by his shower before he picked you up, causing you to giggle as he walked over to his bed. Angel was hard and he wasn’t hiding it. The towel was wrapped around you and he was bare. He laid you on the bed, letting the towel fall to either side of you. 

Angel stood at the edge of the bed as you lay, waiting for his next move. His eyes studied your body, licking his lips as his eyes landed on your face. 

“You’re so beautiful baby,” Angel moved on top of her, your lips connecting. Your hands were on either side of your head and Angel connected your fingers, grinding down onto you. “Feel that?” His lips hovered over yours as he grinded down again, “that’s all for you baby.”

You looked down, biting your lips as you looked at Angel’s well endowed cock. He was thick and long. For a moment, you weren’t exactly sure if you could actually take him. You haven’t had sex in a year or so and you haven’t exactly been masturbating either.

“Just be gentle, I haven’t done this since Jake.”

Angel simply kissed you before his lips made their way down to your neck, chest, and down to your inner thighs. “Has anyone ever gone down on you?”

“Is this really something you want to know?” You questioned, looking down at him. He smirked before biting your thigh. “Ouch! Alright, Jake did.”

“I’m gonna make you forget anyone before me, you’re mine now querida.” Angel kissed the skin he bit before using his fingers to part your lower lips. “Fuck baby, I’ve been dreaming of how you taste,” Angel’s words were getting to you and you watched as he lowered his tongue and ran it up your slit. You both groaned. “Oh, you’re in trouble now baby, I’ll never get my fill of you.” Angel stopped talking and let his tongue show you just how much he was enamored with you. 

Clutching the sheets, you arched your back as Angel continued to lap at your pussy, your stomach tightening up.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you chanted before letting out a groan as you had your first orgasm of the night. Angel moved away, watching as you tried to catch your breath, your legs closing. 

Angel parted your legs, moving up your body, peppering kisses all over your skin. Once he reached your lips, he kissed you, his tongue slipping in. He pulled away, admiring your swollen lips as he ran his thumb across it. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered as you took his thumb into your mouth, your tongue licking the tip of his finger. “You drive me fucking crazy,” he pulled his thumb out, reaching for the condom he strategically placed on the bed.

“No, we’re good, I’m on birth control.” You stopped him from opening the packet. 

“You right, cause it’s you and me till the fucking end now, doesn’t matter to me if you get pregnant.” He stood up and walked over to his drawer. He took out the lube he had bought not too long ago and walked back over to you. “You’re wet, but I want to make this as comfortable as I can for you.” 

Opening the bottle, he parted your lips and poured the lube down your pussy before collecting it with his fingers and pushing it in. You moan, opening your legs further. Angel smirked and removed his fingers, positioning himself on top of you. He ran his dick up and down your slit.

“God, you’re going to be the death of me, you really gonna let me enter you bare baby?” He pressed the tip of his dick against your clit, and you moaned once again. “I fucking love hearing you moan.”

“Yes, of course I would,” you responded, moving your hips. “Please put it in me,” you were upset that you waited so long to go the next step with Angel. Maybe it really didn’t sink in yet you’re his girlfriend, but you wanted this, you really did. To be this intimate with Angel would just further cement that it was you and him for the long run now. 

Without anymore words between you, Angel slowly pushed inside you. You felt a slight discomfort as Angel stretched your pussy. He began to circle his thumb on your clit, your muscles relaxing as he did. You looked up at him and found him studying you, worry etched on his face. 

“Tell me if you want me to stop,” Angel knew he wouldn’t stop, but the last thing he wanted to do was hurt you. 

“Just push it all the way in,” 

Angel did as you asked and you threw your head back when he was buried to a hilt. You felt so full, grabbing on his forearms that rested on either side of your body. It was slightly painful, and you knew Angel wouldn’t move till you asked him to do so. He kissed you, continuing to stimulate your clit.

“Baby, you’re so fucking tight,” Angel knew he had to move soon because if you keep squeezing him like you were now, this was going to be an embarassingly short first time. He couldn’t let that happen. “Can I move?” 

The discomfort left and the pleasure came. You nod your head as Angel slowly pulled out, almost completely before slamming himself back in. He stood on his knees, parting your legs further with his hands. He watched as his cock went in and out of your pussy, groaning at the site of your wetness all around his cock. 

His eyes traveled to you and your head was tilted back in ecstasy as his thrust came faster and faster. This was a sight he could get used to. Watching you come apart because of him. He slowed down, causing you to look over at him. Angel gave you that devlish smirk of his, grinding down on you, brushing against your clit. 

Before you knew it, he rolled you two over and you were on top. While his arms around you, he moved to the top of the bed so he can lean against the headboard. 

“It’s your turn baby,” Angel placed his hands on your thighs, waiting for you to move. 

You bit your lip, placing your hand on his shoulder. “I’ve never done this before,” you sheepishly admit. 

“What?” Angel questioned. 

“Jake was always on top,” it wasn’t a bad thing, at least you didn’t think so. Missionary and doggy style were the only ones Jake mostly did. You never complained since you enjoyed it and it’s not like you knew any better. 

Angel chuckled, shaking his head. “Alright baby girl, I’ll guide you.” 

He aided you with moving up and down his cock. For some reason, he felt deeper this way. You began to pick up speed, getting the hang of riding Angel. You looked at your boyfriend as he bit his lips, watching where you two were connected. You looked down as well, moaning out loud as you felt that familiar feeling in your stomach again. 

“That’s right baby, just like that,” Angel began to stimulate your clit again. You knew that you were going to come. 

“Angel!” You screamed out as you felt yourself come undone. Angel kept circling your clit as you slowed your movements. 

He sat up, capturing your lips once again. He cradled your face, nuzzling your noses together. 

“I fucking love you y/n,” he said to you. “Don’t ever forget that, I love you, only you.”

You nodded your head, feeling yourself tear up. Looking into Angel’s eyes and just seeing how they softened when he proclaimed his love for you, it made your heart swell. You felt terrible for doubting Angel, but it just seemed all so surreal to you. It was just the beginning of your relationship, you had your whole lives to make up for lost time. 

He placed you on your back before he began to thrust in and out of you once again. You realized that you’ve had an orgasm twice tonight and he hasn’t. But with the way his hips were moving, you knew that he may be close and he was. Angel knew he was coming soon. You were so slick and tight, it wasn’t hard to thrust in and out. 

Angel was moving in and out of you faster, the friction was just far too good for you. “You ready to cum again baby?” Angel questioned as he felt his orgasm coming as well. 

“Querida, fuck!” Angel yelled out as his thrust became sloppier. You feel an orgasm coming again, whimpering out Angel’s name as he kept pounding into you.

“I’m cumming baby,” Angel finally came after a few thrust, with you following after him. He groaned out as you continued to squeeze him before he removed himself. 

He watched as his cum dripped down your pussy. He stood up and went to the bathroom to grab a washcloth. He cleaned you up, which surprised you as this was the first time it ever happened. 

“Get under the covers,” Angel ordered. 

You followed, waiting for him to come back. Angel slipped under the covers, pulling you towards him. You faced one another, a satisfied smile on both of your lips.

“Sorry this took so long.” 

Angel chuckled. “Don’t fucking apologize for that. I wasn’t going to push you if you weren’t ready. But I’m so fucking glad you were ready tonight cause if you weren’t I would have to have another cold shower.” 

You laughed. “I love you, Angel.”

He smiled, placing his hand on your cheek. “I love you too,” he kissed you before pulling you against him as he laid on his back. “Alright nap time before the next round.”

“What?” You looked up at him as he looked down at you.

“Oh baby, we’re just getting started.”

[recurring-polynya]

9, 13, 19, 23 for RenRuki OTP meme!

9. Have they made each other cry?

Neither Rukia nor Renji are criers by nature, but absolutely yes.

I looked it up, and weirdly enough, Rukia does *not* cry in the manga version, but she does cry in the anime when Renji tells her to go to the Kuchiki. Regardless, I think they both had some wet face syndrome in the days following that.

Rukia was having a pretty tough time in the Academy, and Renji was in a constant state of unconsciously rubbing it in. I bet he made her cry at least once, although she is way too stubborn to actually do it in front of him, I think she did it in private, later.

I’m not sure crying over someone is the same as them making you cry, but I believe with 100% of my being that the “fear she was trying to avoid” in the As Nodt fight was Renji-related, and even though she held it together pretty well at the time, I hope homegirl went home and had a good cathartic sob after the fact.

In the same vein, it’s very believable that Renji had at least one tearful breakdown at some point in the Soul Society Arc. I imagine he came home and puked his guts out after he had to arrest her and throw her in a holding cell and there could have been some tears that went along with that, and possibly also after he found out that Byakuya had no intention of lifting a finger to stay her execution. (I just realized this is not the first time I have headcanoned Renji puking out of grief and it’s true, I think he does, it’s great, I love my brain, thanks)

I would bet money that Renji (possibly both of them) teared up a little when Ichika was born, and/or when they found out about the pregnancy.

Also, not to ruin the vibe, but it seems highly likely that at some point in their acquaintance, probably in their Inuzuri days, Rukia kicked Renji in the nards hard enough to make tears come out of his face.

13. Name something they would never do for the other person.

Like the dealbreaker question, this one is really hard because they are both really intense people who are absolutely ride-or-die for each other (as well as everyone else they know). I am still sticking to my guns that Rukia became a shinigami in the first place for Renji’s sake, and Renji’s entire first character arc involved him binning 40 years of hard work and career ladder climbing to be with her.

That being said, though, they do maintain a fair amount of personal autonomy that I think they would stick to. Renji would never get his brow tatts removed, for example, no matter how much Rukia hates them (or conversely, I think he didn’t tell her before he got them because he knew she’d tell him not to, and he was determined to get them and wouldn’t have listened to her anyway). Likewise, if she asks, he will refrain from wearing a particular pair of extra-terrible sunglasses to a Kuchiki family picnic, but he’s not going to get rid of the sunglasses collection for her. I honestly can’t imagine her seriously asking him to do either of these things-- she’d rather just drag him for them.

I think the part in WDKALY where Rukia decides to keep “Kuchiki” as her professional name was written in a kinda stilted and dumb way, but I do not disagree with it. I am reasonably sure that this was decided at an editorial level, because if they have a Bleach continuation, they would want the character to keep her more familiar name, but then they added the fact that she took his name more generally because people are weird about women who don’t take their husbands name (and then people argue that her keeping her name is “evidence” that she doesn’t love him... so, honestly, there’s no winning either way). Personally, I didn’t like that they waited until they were actually in line at the Soul Society DMV to have this discussion (with Byakuya standing around, no less), but but otherwise, I think it’s a nice compromise, and that Rukia would want to use the names of both the men she considers her family. Renji seemed vaguely disappointed that she wasn’t taking his name entirely, and I can see that, but also, it’s her choice and he doesn’t make a stink about it, which rings true to me.

In all of these examples, the principle is that, all else being equal, each of them will take input from the other, but they would stick to their guns when it comes to decisions about themselves. That doesn’t mean they are going to die on these hills out of sheer stubbornness. I wrote a fanfic once where Byakuya died and Renji married Rukia in order to help her consolidate power in the family, and he took her name and very vehemently made everyone call him by it. 

Also, I am sure there are some household chores that Renji would like done to some particular specifications, and Rukia just will not. Like, she refuses to rinse the dishes before she puts them in the dishwasher and she won’t squeegee the glass after she showers, or whatever the Soul Society equivalents of these things are.

19. If they could each write a single line in their marriage vows, what would they be?

I cannot emphasize enough that Byakuya paid for their entire fancy Kuchiki-ass wedding and even though they are constantly on their best behavior around him, he knows how they are and he would never, ever let them write their own vows.

So, here is a dispatch from some secondary drunken, backyard wedding that they had for close-friends only (Byakuya was also there, but Isshin slipped him a pot brownie and he was feeling very at one with the universe at the time)

Who the heck writes a single line of their wedding vows?? I gave them each a paragraph.

Rukia:

People have been joking a lot, every since we started dating, how lucky you are, but the fact is, I am the lucky one. I’ve been so fortunate, in my life, to have such good friends and family, but I feel luckiest of all to have you-- you’ve always been there to cheer me on, to pick me up, to make me pickles. You’re brave and you’re handsome and you have really, really great hair, and I feel like the luckiest person in Soul Society that I get to marry you. I love you so, so much, you big dummy.

Renji:

I used to think that I would be content if I could just love you from afar. That just being able to see you and hear your voice and know that you were happy was enough for me. But I was wrong, as it turns out, because being able to touch you and kiss you and tell you I love you a hundred times a day has made me happier than I ever thought I could be. I expect that being married to you is going to make me more powerful and obnoxious than anyone here could possibly imagine and I am absolutely not sorry. I love you so, so much, you little dummy.

See, Byakuya, that wasn’t so bad! (maybe it was)

Bonus! In the dead Byakuya fanfic I mentioned above, I had them get married under Gotei authority and I wrote some (partial) shinigami wedding vows that are basically perfect for them and also I was really proud of them:

How will you meet your enemies? As one, we shall meet them, as one, we shall fight.

And how do you swear this? We swear on sword and soul.

Let it be so. With this, you are forged together, a single blade. May your battle be long, and when you fall, may you fall together.

23. Write a ~300 scene between them with no dialogue, only body language.

Wow. Dang. This felt like a personal attack. Anyway, it was really hard, and I did it, but I didn’t like it.

Here’s the scene right where Renji hauls Ichigo off to go fight Ywhach, because I am always thinking about this scene and willing it to make sense (Rukia should have gone with Ichigo, I will die on this hill!!!!), and I think it only works if there’s a bunch of unsaid subtext. It’s depressing, but it’s only 511 words, which is very much like 300 words, almost exactly the same, honestly.

~

The others don’t see it, because they are busy watching Orihime restore Ichigo’s sword, his swords, for maybe the last time, but Rukia does, because she needs an explanation.

Renji’s shoulders slump, his chin tips down, his hands are open at his sides.

He is sorry.

He better be sorry! Rukia clenches her jaw, her eyes burn at him. She is the one who should have yanked Ichigo to his feet, she is the one who should go with him to his death.

Renji’s eyes slide upward and meet hers. His jaw is set.

He is right, and she knows it.

Orihime is hurt. Her lungs are making ominous bubbling noises as Zangetsu pieces itself back together under her care. Rukia is exhausted, but she can manage the kaidou that will save her friend’s life. Renji cannot.

It is more than that, though. Rukia’s bankai is perilous. Ichibei warned her that she should use it sparingly-- that it will take many hours of practice before her body can handle the wrenching temperature shocks. She has used it too many times already in the last 48 hours. She still can’t feel all her fingers and toes since she came back from killing As Nodt. Another go at it so soon may kill her before she even has a chance to be useful. It could kill her and everyone in her blast radius, which might be helpful, but probably...not. Her hand rubs nervously at the hilt of her sword. She tries to flex the dead pinkies, but they deny her.

Renji sees the motion, and he grips Zabimaru confidently. His bankai is new to him, too, but Hihiou Zabimaru was like a weighted practice blade-- So-oh Zabimaru is familiar enough and easy in comparison. Sode no Shirayuki and Zabimaru are both temperamental blades, but Zabimaru has always been at their most dependable when the odds are stacked against them.  

Rukia reaches out and gives Orihime’s hair a gentle pat. She will stay, but she will not like it. 

The side of Renji’s mouth ticks up in a rueful half-smile, and his eyes glitter with the last bit of humor he can muster. She can beat him up all she likes when he gets back.

Rukia flings an arm around Orihime, and stuffs her face into her friend’s shoulder. None of this is fair. 

Renji’s eyes soften briefly, and his eyes are filled with so much love for her. He knows he has the easy job. There aren’t any words to thank her enough for letting him go on a suicide mission with Ichigo while she stays back to give them something worth fighting for.

Then he stiffens, and squares his shoulders once again. He jabs Ichigo impatiently with one foot and screws up his face into the same scowl he always uses to armor his heart. 

It won’t work, Rukia thinks, as Orihime finishes her task and slumps backward. She will keep Renji’s heart here with her, and Orihime will keep Ichigo’s, and no matter what, none of them will die alone.

[unremarkable-house]

Polaris by unremarkable_house

The X-Files, MSR, Rain King

Mulder and Scully attend Holman and Sheila's wedding in Kroner, Kansas.

Tagging @today-in-fic

Part One: Mulder and Holman

“Platonic intimacy is the foundation of my relationship with Agent Scully, Holman, and risking physical intimacy affects both parties. I don’t want to take that risk unless we are both willing.” There is a condensation of intent that settles around the patio of the Kroner Prairie View Ballroom and Suites where Fox Mulder and Holman Hardt - weatherman, meteorologic anomaly, crack relationship analyst, and now very newlywed - share their conversation during a small break in the matrimonial festivities.

It is also something Mulder has never admitted out loud, his desire for something more, and he feels the uncomfortable humidity of it fill the blissfully mild Kansas air. Holman has made it vexingly clear that he expects him to dish on the so-called Mulder-and-Scully-relationship while the blushing bride and redheaded FBI agent were otherwise occupied. Apparently, he and his buddy the weather wizard had a special affinity for these kinds of chats.

“Are you really worried that you wouldn’t be compatible in bed with someone who looks like your partner?” Holman is projecting a bit of his newfound sexual confidence with Sheila, but he doubts he’d have any trouble if Agent Scully came to bed instead. Or both. Holman’s eyebrow quirks appreciatively.

Mulder is not worried about his level of attraction to his long-suffering and comely partner, he does get to look at her every day after all, but he is worried that the weight of their traumas could make the next level of intimacy challenging. He didn’t need a degree in psychology from Oxford to figure that out, he need look no further than his own baffling sexual history. Plus, he knows how much energy she puts into maintaining their professional distance, especially since Antarctica. And Diana. As always, part of how he shows her he cares is by respecting that.

“There is something to be said about the fact that it’s been six years and no one has even mentioned sex. With each other or otherwise. Maybe she’s just not that into me.” He shrugs, also thinking that really isn’t the case. Although it had been not-so-helpfully suggested by a Gunman or two before. As if any of them had any real experience with women outside of chat rooms and computer labs.

Because Scully hasn’t left him either. Hasn’t ever expressed an interest in a life outside the X-Files. Hasn’t ever, ever let him down. She stands entirely too close to him on elevators and drinks from his coffee cup when she’s in a rush. She waits up for him in the middle of the night, she lets him watch her sleep. She rises like the Phoenix time and time again. She touches the stars and toils in the basement. And she kissed him on Tuesday.

Though she would be seriously perturbed if she heard him acknowledge any of that out loud. Especially that last part.

But he was allowed to acknowledge it, right? He had to, or else they were never going to get past this bizarre phase where their relationship was even a secret to themselves. Will they or won’t they? Are they or aren’t they? Damned if he knew.

They didn’t even have the X-Files anymore. The entire pretext for their relationship hovered over the razor’s edge, completely unprepared for Salt Lake Cities and Diana Fowleys and meaningless days spent tracking down literal piles of shit. He made it clear he wasn’t ready to handle anything personal and then they RSVP’d to a wedding together.

Polaris or utter chaos. Scully had once called him unfathomably capricious.

“Yea, but don’t you want to just take her in your arms and kiss her?”

Holman’s aggressively simple advice is reflective of a man who got everything he wanted. Easy words from someone who finally found safe harbor.

Three months ago, he was offering Holman dating advice. Now Holman was freshly married and all Mulder’s gotten were a few chaste kisses he wasn’t supposed to think about. Cosmic justice or just complete fucking irony?

Sighing, Mulder looks back through the windows where Holman and Sheila’s wedding reception is just getting into full swing. Dazzling lights, disco balls, even a few novelty lasers spin dizzily over the guests as they start feeling the liquor and therefore, the groove. Scully is in there somewhere and his eyes scan for her instinctively, but he doesn’t see her red hair in the crowd. She must still be in the bathroom or surely she would come to find him out here, right? Mulder couldn’t believe the amount of insecurity he had been feeling since she came out in that dress and asked him to help her zip up the back. He needed a drink, big time.

“It’s not just about kissing her -” Above them, the full moon is in dazzling brilliance. Not a cloud in the sky, not a hint of chill in the breeze, downright perfect humidity. On Holman Hardt’s wedding day at the end of April. Figures. “I don’t sit around and pine for Scully the way you did for Sheila. We are in a relationship, have been for years, I guess. We are not just partners, I know that. And not just friends. But it’s about being with her all the time - forever - I think. I want to keep that possibility alive.”

At whatever the cost, he doesn’t add, an onslaught of near-misses hurtling past them like a vengeful comet wrought by some dissatisfied god. The weight of the knowledge that he would follow her anywhere - and she, him - whether they liked it or not. Something that was beyond what a ring or social status could ever symbolize, objectively speaking.

It was as simple as wanting Scully like air to breathe, simple as obeying the laws of gravity. A purely biological necessity. No need to complicate things. And no need to scare her off by being as lousy a lover as he was a friend. If all she ever needed from him were chaste yet unforgettable kisses, he would be honored to provide. Ad infinitum, if that’s what it took to keep her in orbit. No need to define the bonds that connect them. Just the need to stay connected.

A light in the sky from which he could chart his course.

Mulder looked hungrily back into the pulsating throng behind him, seeking his personal universal invariant. As much as he wanted her to return so he could end this candid and hyper-intimate conversation, he especially did not want her to overhear how pathetically punch-drunk he was after just the smallest morsels of her affection. He was supposed to remain coolly and Mulder-ish-ly aloof. It was part of their unspoken agreement for partaking on this exclusive jaunt they had both surreptitiously cashed in their vacation days for.

“I’ve kissed her a couple of times, though.” Except for that, of course. Holman gives him a high five. Then he says in the wistful way he’s been saying everything tonight:

“You know, I’ve been in love with Sheila since I was in high school; I was completely infatuated.” Mulder knows, but not really. Who could be in love with someone with a voice like that? Who consistently kicked you under the rug to date the people you detested the most? To him, the sexiest thing about Scully was that she willingly spent time with him. That and she smelled like a secret garden and her skin was as soft as a petal. His own luscious Atropa belladonna; look but don’t touch. It was a fitting match considering his life was rotely defined by his personal, unattainable longings.

“I think it's different, Holman. I love Agent Scully--” more of that condensation settles. “I have for a long time. As a friend first. But I'm not lovesick. I'm not…” he trails off because to say he’s not also in love with Scully isn't the whole truth. But it’s not the same. “I'm still working on being in love with her in a way that is most fair for her. For us.” He looks up into the starry night and grips the edge of the stone wall that he is perched on. “I tend to be a bit overbearing and unpredictable.”

And incomprehensible and dog-headed and nebulous and borderline unreliable - but he’s not really interested in listing all the ways he’s failed Scully or why he knows he’s badbadbad for her. The reasons why she shouldn’t be wearing a short navy blue dress at a private and completely voluntary event with him tonight. Why he should have done the gentlemanly thing years ago and convinced her to get out and save her reputation, to save herself from a lifetime of pain. Should have resisted the tender, irresistible way she always pulled him back to her. Should not have RSVP'd to this damn wedding, at least.

Instead, he spirited her away from the world living into the world of the half-dead and always searching.

Then again he’d probably be dead ten times over, considering the numerous occasions she’d saved his ass over the years. But life without Scully would be a fate worse than death.

He’s seeding the rain cloud, he knows. These are the kinds of words phrased in such a way that he’s been avoiding admitting - let alone thinking - for years. It’s admissions like these to people like Holman that will force him to pay the piper. He envisions Holman and Sheila forcing them to slow dance beneath the dizzy lights to Fools Rush In. He’d prefer a Whiter Shade of Pale, himself. Something a bit more subtle.

“Loving someone isn’t about being fair, Agent Mulder. My life has basically been at a standstill until I finally got my chance to be with Sheila. I wasn’t willing to move forward with any decision in my life if it meant missing a chance I might have with her. I accepted a job in the same town I grew up in, for Chrissake, because she was here! And yes, there were times when I resented the fact that she refused to see me as more than a friend and instead chased after the people I liked the least.

I have a few buddies from high school who got pretty sick of my laments for a woman - who you will probably agree - is completely out of my league.” Mulder resists reacting, different strokes and all. “The fairest route would have been to save myself the drama of Sheila’s many romantic interludes and settle down with someone else - you might not know it but I’m quite the catch in a small town like this - but I was determined to wait until it was my turn. Now those same guys from high school are here dancing at our wedding!

Look at me! I’m married to the most beautiful woman in Kroner! In all of Kansas, probably! And we are already talking about starting our family right away!”

Holman, glowing with pride like the light of the moon with his arms outstretched, has a nostalgic, faraway look on his face, back to his days as the awkward teen in love with the prom queen. Indeed, Holman had received his just rewards for patience, diligence, and the honor of a respectable life.

Scully is his reward too, Mulder knows. Has always known, since the day she walked back into his basement office after spending thirty-six hours hiding in the rain forests of Puerto Rico with no food or water and scared to death that the kill squads were going to find them and use extreme force. He was constantly falling in love with the versions of herself that she shed with each tragedy - always a moment too late. Always under her sharp and disapproving eye. She wore her newfound vulnerabilities with a sign that read: “Danger, Stay Back”. That she refused to be worshipped just made her easier to love. He’d had no clue dignity was such a turn on.

Mulder was just worried he hadn't paid his dues with such noble qualities as Holman’s. His many wrongdoings play with a sad soundtrack in his head, as sad as the desperate way she always looks at him when they’ve cheated death yet again. She had been particularly unzipped by his recent near-drowning and nick-of-time rescue in the Plantagenet Bay. The Gunmen published it in their quarterly and referred to Scully as the Babe of the Bermuda Triangle. He still felt kinda bad about that one.

Was it just Mulder or was the moon shining a little more brightly right now?

“One of the best days of my life was when Sheila started working at the station.” Holman gets another dreamy look upon his face as he recalls the day. Mulder remembers too, it was chronicled in the local paper. That and a portfolio of other newsworthy weather events Holman was responsible for sat neatly collated within his X-Files. And now including their invitation to the blessed Hardt-Fontaine nuptials. It wasn’t every day he got to hang out with one of the curiosities from his wonder cabinet.

Unless he counted Scully which he explicitly and vociferously did not.

“May 11, 1992: residents of Kroner, Kansas, report witnessing a rare quadruple rainbow,” He recites.

Mulder has a similar best day of his life, but he doesn’t recall any meteorological event that marked the moment. It wasn’t even a full moon. Just a regular March afternoon that he had been antipathetic about.

Holman grins. “Some reported seeing a fifth arc as well, but it was never substantiated.” Then his face grows cloudy. “That same day, while we were catching up, was when she told me she was moving in with Darryl Moody and that they were ‘engaged to be engaged.’” He spits the last words out like venom. And that would explain the subsequent supercell lightning storm that knocked Kroner off the grid for three days (also in his files).

“She just wanted to be friends,” he bemoans before becoming annoyingly cheerful again, “but being her friend was the next best thing because here we are! Sheila recently told me that the best relationships are rooted in friendship so if that’s what it took to get here, I wouldn’t change a day.”

Mulder, dipping his chin to his chest, was appalled he found that so pathetically endearing. And a little bit wounding. Were he and Scully not rooted in friendship? For someone who was so quick to believe, he knew he was certainly wanting for a little more faith in the matter. Because here we are, he thinks, together, in other lifetimes, always.

In this particular lifetime in Kansas, there might be drinks and dancing and more than one excuse to touch her companionably and then maybe a little more familiarly, as soon as she finished up inside and he could end this awkward conversation with the groom.

“Don’t let some bad luck cramp your style, Agent Mulder,” Holman says, reaching the end of his proselytizing. “The future will be as bright as you make it.”

Following Holman’s gaze up into the night sky, Mulder finds that the heavens are now alight with the ethereal trails of meteors, dainty and otherworldly, glittering their way across the universe.

Mulder sighs again, equally entranced by and indifferent to Holman’s bizarre skills. “Easy for you to say, Holman.” But Holman just laughs the contented and mirthful laugh of a man in love. To him, everything is limitless: life, love, the weather, and now the entire galaxy.

And though there was once a time where Mulder would have imprudently coveted the ability to touch the unthinkable like Holman Hardt, tonight he is content to reach only one star.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24564760

Notes:

WIP, I hope. There should be a chapter for Scully + Sheila and another for Mulder + Scully. Fingers crossed! Mad love to my favorite fanfiction of all time, Parabiosis by Penumbra. This story includes some loving references to that masterpiece. Made with the utmost respect. Thanks for reading.

[100dad]

The 6 things that crushed dads in the last 50 years.

The 6 things that crushed dads in the last 50 years.

This experiment is over. It is a complete disaster. A failure. Single moms are not the answer to a better society.  Stupid dads are not the answer for a more united America. Locked-up dads are not the answer.  Uninvolved dads are not the answer.

The studies are boring to read but unanimous. When dad is in the home (regardless of the quality of dad) kids perform better in school and achieve higher education than their peers with no dad in the home. Income is higher in a home with a dad in it than in homes without a dad. Poverty rates skyrocket when there is no dad in the home. Dependence on welfare skyrockets when dad is no in the home. Crime rates are crazy high in households that do not have a dad present. Kids raised in a home with dad present have much more opportunity in life.

Teenage pregnancy skyrockets in households without a dad, leading to a continued cycle. Mental health issues are much higher in homes where dad is gone. The odds are ever in your favor when Dad is home. Your odds tank when dad is gone. That is white paper research. Decades of studies. Government-funded. From many many different research organizations.

This is what we have done over the last 50 years to destroy the family unit and take Dads out of the home.

Shift in Workplace

The shift in economics was a real cause. Dads were home and their presence was felt. They were often farmers or local merchants. As the world shifted so did families. Small farms disappeared. Industrial Revolution called for workers to spend long, hard, dangerous days away from the home. Eventually, companies became bigger and bigger with national reach. Local shops shuttered in exchange for big box stores. Sales became a leading career. Dads traveled, they moved, they spent more time away from their families. No more working side by side in the fields. No more being taught how to fix things and make the farm run. No more stopping by dads store and spending time learning the family business. Now dad was either out of town or working for a company where having your family stop by would be frowned upon.

Let’s not forget more and more women going into the workplace. Which often meant more and more influence in raising kids not coming from the parents. Even with Dad gone, to some extent, mom kept his memory alive in the house. “Our” rules were still enforced. Our values. And Mom was gonna tell dad when he did get back home.

Move to Public Education As the world keeps on spinning most people go with it. And public education became and has become a massive influence in American lives. I’m not going to bash public education because education truly is important. There are other options, and our family has avoided the public-school route. Education in small schoolhouses was a much different picture of education than it is today. Today’s kids spend an incredible amount of time inside the school system and much of that time is not productive. Todays students graduate not nearly as educated as they should be. The US ranks very poorly in worldwide education standards despite being the heaviest spender. Regardless of my views here 2 things come from this shift. A massive amount of the day is spend being influenced by people who are not Dad (or Mom). And since teaching is a field dominated by women there are arguments that the shift of so much time without male role models is the reason masculinity has declined and become attacked.

Court Systems

Ask any dad that has had to go through the court system and he will admit the deck is stacked against you. Courts have predetermined that Dad is not important and his value is in check writing. “And if you force our hand then fine---here are some days you can see your kids. Be thankful for the scraps we just tossed you.” – Signed family judges everywhere

Family Courts have crippled Dad's influence in kids' lives. And its politicians that create the laws and incentives Judges follow. Did you know states receive federal dollars based on how much they are having to collect in child support. If you want to know why courts stack against dads and care mostly about child support.......there is some real incentive for states to get the child support number as high as they can.

My other target is Dads here. As much as I am disappointed in the judges. Dad allowed the situation to get to a point where a judge decides what he can and can’t do. I know moms are at fault too. But this is a dad page. Dad’s – Sex can make babies. Stop having sex with crazy women. Marry women you want to spend your lives with. Make sure you guys are on the same page with life- how to manage money, how to raise kids, how many kids, what faith you are and want to raise kids in, how involved in-laws can be in our lives…. these are some of the biggest issues. Some of these divorce stories I hear, ya’ll can do better.

Politician Passing Stupid Laws

I do not like politicians. I think they are all slime balls. Even the ones you like. Especially the ones you do not like. They make incredibly stupid laws. Lets call out these idiots for a bit, not that they will be held responsible or even accept blame.

Child support is collected by states and used as the measuring stick for how much federal money states get. States get more money from the federal government when they collect more child support. Wonder why dads don’t get custody when they should? Wonder why Dads get stuck with a heavy bill and limited contact?

Welfare rules and government incentives finance the breaking up of families because hell the government will pay you for that. Politicians create laws that incentivize the breaking up the family unit especially in low-income and minority families. There has been a real effort to replace the husband and the father with a government handout.

There is a lot of chatter about laws passed that disproportionately took minority fathers out of the home and into jail for relatively minor offenses. I haven’t seen enough to make a judgment, but I would not be surprised at all.

Remember while there is always someone to blame-- we can take power out of the courts and politicians' hands by making good decisions and not ending up reliant on government money or stuck in their courts. When dads step up and become great we make all this way less relevant.

Entertainment Finds Ratings in Crushing Dads

Gone are the true role models of Dads. The Leave It to Beaver type dads are gone. The Dad with high integrity, that did not get caught up in drama, and was always good for dispensing wisdom and seriousness.  Now the leading TV dads are the butt of the joke. While I admit it's often funny. I’m also certain we are a culture easily influenced by entertainment and the stigmas in tv influence generations and how they act. Now they are idiots. Mom is the smart one that really does everything. Dad drinks beer, watched tv, groans about doing any work, loves sports more than his family, and is clueless and clumsy. Luckily, mom is there to do literally everything. No respect, No honor, no integrity. Let’s be honest…. that doesn’t get laughs. Decades of that humor on top of not actually having dads in the home and a dramatic rise in how much we watch tv has reshaped what many men think a dad should act like and be like. It’s a wrong interpretation and families are paying the price. It must be recognized that tv dads are punchlines, not actual real dads that should be modeled after.

Feminism

Before I get torched let's clarify a few things. Women are great. Women are strong. Women are smart. Women are capable. I am not saying otherwise. Feminism was needed for the evolution of the world because there was no voting for women and workplaces shy’d away from women and certainly would not pay them well. And at higher levels of business, they were being turned down opportunities when they were more qualified and talented. It was needed. Some feminists have taken the cause way further. The ones saying women should be single and not get married. Single moms are better than married moms. Career women are better than stay-at-home moms. This is where the rest of the world rejects the cause. Now feminists divide and attack women. It's more that men are evil and toxic. These views attack marriage, child-raising, and healthy families. That’s simply wrong.

You tie all these together and you see how they feed each other. The feminist desire to put all women in the workplace means there’s more burden on school systems to raise kids. The courts and politicians feed the "see men are bad" crowd. Entertainment rears a generation that is not influential and present in their kids lives. The cycle turns and turns spewing out more and more kids born out of wedlock. Not raised in the family unit. More likely to be raised and influenced by underperforming schools and disappointing entertainment options.

Dads – Break the cycle. Avoid this fate. Be a prominent and influential role model. Stay away from the courts and politicians. The more we know and recognize the more we can fight against this rigged system. Just because the deck is stacked against you doesn’t mean you won’t come out on top. Shoulder back, head up high, power forward. You got this.

And to the rest of the world. This is a stupid trend. If you want to make a world a better place with less crime, poverty, less welfare, fewer taxes (because of reduced crime and welfare), better communities, better education….it goes on and on….DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO KEEP FAMILIES TOGETHER!!!!!!

Make Dad the center of the family. Make dads the source of wisdom and influence. It solves so many problems in this country!!

Follow 100% DAD on www.100dad.com & Social: Instagram: @100Dad Facebook: @100Dad TikTok: @100Dad YouTube: 100% Dad Twitter: @The100Dad

[worryinglyinnocent]

Fic: Pure (2/?)

Summary: Belle wanted to wait until marriage before she had sex for the first time. It was the one thing that still stuck in her mind after leaving her small town upbringing steeped in religious doctrine and abstinence culture. When her wedding night comes, however, the purity ideals of Storybrooke’s sex education are hard to shake off, and making the transition from virgin to sexually active is more difficult than she anticipated. With the help of a patient husband, Belle begins an intimate journey into understanding her body, her desires, and her identity as a woman.

Rated: E

======

Pure

Two

When she woke the next morning, sunlight peeping in at the edges of the thick curtains, the first thing that Belle felt was hot. She’d rolled away from Aiden during the night, but even so, she hadn’t reckoned on how warm a second person would make things under the covers. She liked it; she’d never need to bring a hot water bottle to bed with her again at this rate.

She rolled back over onto her side, pressing in close against Aiden again. She could feel him hard against her thigh, but she wasn’t unduly worried. Thankfully basic biology had been one thing that she had managed to teach herself that had stuck, after she’d left high school with an only very vague understanding of how the human body, whether male or female, worked. She wondered if the school still had all the old textbooks, with the pictures of genital anatomy inked out in Sharpie to avoid the teenagers getting any unsavoury ideas about the opposite sex’s naughty bits.

Waking up beside Aiden was something that she wanted to do for the rest of her life. That was one of the reasons why she had agreed to marry him, because even if she hadn’t actually slept in the same bed as him before now, she had always known that it was something that she wanted to do in the future.

And she did want to have sex with him. The thought of waking up with him after a night of passion was a thrilling one. Even more thrilling was the idea of waking up and then going straight back in for a morning of passion.

The problem was that she had such vague and nebulous ideas about what a night of passion actually entailed. Fiction had been her only guide so far, and she had grown out of her wide-eyed, small town naivete enough to know that fiction wasn’t reality. You couldn’t get decent sex education out of a romantic novel.

The internet had proved slightly more helpful, but almost more contradictory than everyone in her hometown had been, and every time she went looking for more useful resources, she always felt that snide little voice in the back of her mind telling her that this wasn’t something good girls ought to be looking up. Good girls shouldn’t be interested in sex. Good girls just lay back and let it happen. Or, if they were very good girls, then they didn’t let it happen at all. As much as she tried to counter-argue, ultimately that little voice would win, and would send her scurrying to close the browser and go and stick her head in the fridge to cool her blush.

Storybrooke was a good little religious town. Since leaving it to go to university in Boston and never returning on a permanent basis, Belle had lost most of her religious beliefs when she had learned that what was practised in Storybrooke wasn’t so much religion as a way of scaring everyone into subservience.

Ever since she had left and had her eyes opened, Belle had never really called the place home again, but still felt enough of a connection to want to get married there among the friends and family that she’d grown up with. She thought that they’d have more of a problem with Aiden, since he was twenty years older than she was and was already divorced, and like he’d said last night, half of the town seemed to think he was some kind of devil who’d seduced their sweet Belle away from them.

The other half were willing to ignore that in favour of the fact he was a successful businessman and property owner who could probably buy the entire town three times over if he had a mind to.

As part of its good little religious life, Storybrooke was obsessed with virginity. Especially the virginity of its young women. It was almost creepy, how seriously they took their abstinence education. Belle had recognised that only once she’d left the place, and she wondered how many women who had lived their whole lives there had missed out.

Sex before marriage was practically worse than murder when it came to the many deadly sins, which had led to the current dichotomy in Belle’s head that she could not seem to reconcile. Sex was terrible, sinful, an awful thing that you should never ever do. If you had sex before you were married, then you were used, marked for life, sullied. You would never again be pure in the eyes of God.

And yet, sex was also something that was so pure, so special, that the entire reason you should never have it before marriage was because it was something so heavenly it should only be experienced with the person you would spend the rest of your life with. It was precious and shouldn’t be shared around willy-nilly with everyone.

Belle had never truly been able to get her head around the paradox of something being terribly sinful and yet heavenly pure at the same time, that something could be evil or good depending on whether or not there was a ring on your finger at the time you did it.

As if that wasn’t enough food for thought, there so many paradoxes when it came to the act itself; once you’d got past the marriage part and therefore sex was no longer evil but actually a duty to be performed in order to have children. Yes, nice girls, pure, virginial girls, weren’t supposed to enjoy this wonderful, heavenly act of love, after all. Sex was for making babies.

But not your wedding night, obviously. You had to be on contraception on your wedding night in case, shock horror, you were on your period that day. You couldn’t present your husband with a bloody mess, after all. That was supposed to come later once the hymen was broken and you were officially deflowered. No longer a virgin. No longer pure.

No longer meaningful in the eyes of the town.

You weren’t supposed to like this act that you’d spent so long waiting for and preparing for.

As these thoughts were tumbling over and over in Belle’s mind, she began to come to the realisation of what had gone wrong last night. She hadn’t got to the bottom of it all by any manner or means; there were still going to be a lot of conversations to be had. But at the end of the day, she’d reached the crux of it.

She was scared, as simple as that.

The realisation took a huge weight of her mind. She had no idea what she was going to do with it now that she had come to it, but at least she could give voice to it properly. And if Aiden was the Aiden she had always known and loved, then he would help her through it. He had wanted to help her last night when she had been too emotional and overwrought to articulate anything of any use to anyone.

She smiled against his chest, closing her eyes again. It was a start, a baby step in the right direction.

A few minutes later, Aiden shifted and woke, pressing a kiss to her forehead before stretching out his arms and legs.

“Good morning, my beautiful wife.”

“Good morning, my beautiful husband.” Belle laughed. “We’ve only been married less than a day and we’re already one of those sickeningly happy couples from the commercials.”

“I’m very glad to hear that you’re feeling happier this morning.”

“Very much so. Yes. I’ve been thinking.”

“Good. Maybe hold that thought until after breakfast?”

Belle’s stomach gave an aptly timed growl. The reception did seem a long time ago now.

“Yes. Good idea.”

Belle reached for the room service menu as Aiden got out of bed and padded towards the bathroom, and she felt absolutely no shame in checking out his ass as he crossed the room. She had already accepted so much of what her upbringing had told her was sinful and she had no fears of going to hell. Appreciating her husband’s body was not something that she was going to feel guilty about. There were several reasons why she had married him, but the fact that he was very attractive was certainly among them.

They feasted on fruit and pastries, sitting on the end of the bed wrapped up in the hotel’s fluffy robes whilst they fed each other pieces of melon and strawberry, laughing with the sweet romance and silliness of it all. They needed to talk about what had happened last night, or rather, what hadn’t happened, but it wasn’t hovering over them like a black cloud, which Belle had worried it would. No, it was just a conversation that needed to happen. There was no blame on either side. No one at fault except the culture that had messed with Belle’s head so much.

It was only once they were full and leaning back against the headboard that Aiden turned to Belle again.

“Do you want to talk about it yet? We can put it away if you’re not ready.”

“No. I think the sooner we talk about it then the sooner we can work through it and the sooner it’s sorted. Otherwise it’s just going to be hanging over us forever.” She sighed, accepting Aiden’s arm around her shoulders before cuddling in against his side. “There’s a lot to unpack, and I accept that I probably should have talked about it before you know, the actual event, but there are some things that have become so ingrained that I just accept them for what they are. Not talking about losing my virginity being one of them.”

Aiden didn’t say anything; he just gave a small nod for her to continue with her piece.

“I think the thing that really freaked me out last night, the first thing to overcome, is that I was scared. I still am scared, and I’m not really sure how to stop being scared.”

“What are you scared of?” Aiden asked. “The first step to conquering a fear is always to name it so that you can confront it head on.”

“I’m scared of it hurting.”

“Sex shouldn’t hurt. If it does then I’m doing my job wrong.”

“Yeah, I know that it’s not supposed to hurt normally. I’ve read enough and seen enough to know that most sex scenes in books and films have the heroine screaming with pleasure, not pain. But this is the first time, and in books, it’s not normally so. The ones I’ve read with virgins are usually as prudish as I am and cut to black before the deed gets done. The first time always hurts. Breaking hymens and bleeding and the like. And you know, I’m not exactly stretched a lot. I’d had such a wonderful day, and I didn’t want to end it in pain.”

“Sex shouldn’t hurt,” Aiden repeated earnestly. “Not even the first time. The whole breaking and bleeding thing, it’s a load of bollocks. If you’re ready, then it won’t hurt, I promise. And if it does, then we stop, it’s as simple as that.”

“Yeah, but what if the fear of pain is the thing that’s making me not ready?” Belle thumped the pillow behind her in her frustration. “It’s a vicious cycle. And I think I am ready. I’ve been ready for ages, but I stuck to my resolution to wait till last night. It’s just this fear.”

“OK, maybe ready was the wrong word.” Aiden stared off into the middle distance, concentrating hard. It was his thinking face, the little furrow between his brows back again, and Belle had to laugh at it.

“Normally you’re so good with words,” she said. “You always seem to find the right ones when you’re making your deals. I’m sure you used to slaughter people in the courtroom with a well-placed word.”

“Oh, I did, which is why it’s so important to me to choose the right ones now.” Aiden gave a definitive nod as the correct words evidently came to him. “Ready probably isn’t the right word. Physically ready. Sufficiently aroused and begging to be touched. Then it won’t hurt. I mean, if you’re tense, then it will. But if you’re so drunk on love and orgasms that you’ve lost all that tension, then you’ll be fine. Think of it this way. When it comes to sex, I’m more like a Ford Fiesta.”

“What?” Belle looked at her husband as if he’d gone mad. “Aiden, you’re a Ferrari. Or Cadillac at least. I’ve seen your ass.” Which reminded her, in that moment, that Aiden still hadn’t actually seen her naked.

“I’m very flattered that you think so; but go with the analogy for a moment here. Considering I thought it up on the spot, I’m quite proud of it.”

“All right, all right.” Belle pecked a fond kiss to the end of his nose. “Going with the analogy. You’re a Ford Fiesta.”

“Yes. When you drive a Ford Fiesta, all you have to do is get in it and turn the key and you’re pretty much good to go. Are you with me so far?”

“Yes, but I still have no idea what this has to do with sex.”

“We’ll get there. You, on the other hand, far from being a Ford Fiesta, are more akin to Jefferson’s prize vintage Mustang convertible.”

“What, I only go out in summer when it’s not raining, and I get shut in the garage for the rest of the year? Sorry, sorry. Going with the analogy.” She giggled as Aiden gave a good-natured eyeroll and attempted to silence her with another kiss.

“No. Before you drive the vintage convertible, you take very good care of it. There’s a lot more to do before you can just get in and go. You check the lubricant levels, you check the fuel, you polish the mirrors, you check everything’s all right under the hood… Please say you’re with me now, because I’m not a car expert and I’m running out of things to say.”

Belle nodded. “So, what you’re saying is that I’m high maintenance?”

“No!” Aiden gave an exasperated sigh. “I just mean that when it comes to sex, it takes longer for you to be ready to go. You need more care and attention; you can’t just shove something up there and go. We guys have it easy. Get hard, insert tab A into slot B and ta-da, job done.”

“So, really, you are saying that I’m high maintenance.”

“Yes, but the maintenance is all part of the fun, my dear, and the myth of sex being painful on the first go is perpetuated by people who are too young and-or inexperienced to realise that, or too damn lazy to enjoy the maintenance. I mean, you said yourself, you’re fairly well-read. Wouldn’t all these stories have been so much more boring if it was a simple case of mindless fucking all the time?”

Belle thought about it. “Ok, you’ve got a point there. So, as long as I’ve warmed up properly before the sexual work out, I’ll be fine?”

“Yes.”

“I really need to start reading these books more carefully. This is what happens when you get your sexual education from fiction.”

“All things considered, having seen your home-town, I don’t really think you can be blamed for getting your sexual education from fiction. As fictional as it might be, at least it’s better than non-existent.”

Belle sighed. “You really didn’t know what you were letting yourself in for when you got together with me, did you?”

“Belle, I love you. The bags and baggage that you come with are all part of that. God knows, I’ve got an entire luggage compartment full of my own. I love you, and that means I’ll overcome these hurdles with you.”

“I love you too.” Belle turned fully on the bed so that she could face him, cupping his face in both her hands and kissing him slowly, deliberately. “I love you so much, and I am so glad I married you.”

Feeling emboldened by the conversation, she unfastened the belt of her robe and shrugged it off her shoulders. Although she had no intention of going much further right now, at least she’d know if the sight of her sent him screaming for the hills.

“Belle?”

She took his hands and brought them to the hem of her nightgown, kneeling on the bed.

“I love you. And I want you to see me. All of me. Maybe I’m not ready for the sex part just yet, but I’m ready for the getting naked part.”

Together they pulled the nightgown up and over her head, and immediately, Belle knew that she didn’t have to worry about Aiden running for the hills.

“Oh my, Belle. As gorgeous as you look with your clothes on, you’re even more wonderful with them off. Come here.”

Belle was lost in a flurry of kisses, heated and frantic as she pushed Aiden’s robe off so that she could be skin-to-skin with him, his hands splaying over her bare back and running up and down her sides. She could have kept kissing him all day, but the energy eventually petered out, leaving them lying in a tangle of silk and soft towelling, nestled close together and basking in each other’s warmth until the time came to get dressed and check out of the hotel, ready to start their honeymoon.

There were still things to talk about. The voice at the back of Belle’s mind had not gone away, but at least her immediate fears had been quelled, and she knew that whilst this was going to be a learning curve, it was not going to be a painful one.

They had an entire lifetime to work through it all, and what better time to start than on a honeymoon?

[annakie]

An Annotated Mass Effect Playthrough, Part Seven

List of Posts: 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Wherein we... talk to the crew. I didn’t quite make it off the ship.

Still, a lot of words.

Aka the nearly All-Gif update.

Didn’t get a chance to play ME at all this week, so I’m going to spend a few hours this weekend (double-checking to make sure screenshotting works :p) and have some real updates later.

So making it back to the ship from Therum, it’s time to talk to the crew.  I maybe could have gone and talked to them after getting on the ship after the Citadel, but they don’t really have any unique lines then so, I usually wait til now to go chat.

First, let’s talk to Liara.

The thing that sucks about talking to Liara (or Kaidan, or Ashley, if you don’t want to romance them) is, you know, the accidental romance.  Making “picking the Paragon-place choices = romance by default with NO WARNING” design was very Not Good.  They fixed this in later games, well moreso in Dragon Age games than ME, (and Andromeda is done very well for this) but still.  In ME3, the BackOff mod does a great job of making romance dialog more obvious and intentional.  

Liara’s dialog choices I feel like are even LESS obviously flirting I feel like than Ash and Kaidan’s.  Honestly with Liara’s most of the lines can be read and even said aloud as friendship then BOOM, all of a sudden she wants a threesome.  I choose middle dialog options whenever possible with Liara just to avoid this.  I’m not interested, never have been, don’t want Kaidan to think he has any competition.  But seriously, it’s poor game design here that you literally have to be a jerk to a companion at some points to avoid having them think you want to bang.   God, half of the reason I’d love a remaster would be to hopefully fix shit like this to avoid some of the pitfalls.  

I hate that some people use this as a reason to dislike these characters more.  And I’ll admit, in my early days as a ME fan, I held it against Liara, too, until I realized how dumb that is.  I especially hate it when you get to the “confrontation scene” and people use Kaidan not wanting to be in a threesome as a reason to dislike him more?  It’s not a bad thing to want to be monogamous?  (And of course, it’s not a bad thing to NOT want to be, assuming everyone is open and OK about it.)

I just prefer to not get that scene at all now, and to avoid “leading anyone on” accidentally etc.  My Shepard knows early on what she wants, and sticks with him all the way through.

I was going to talk more here about my feelings about Liara in general but uh, I guess I’ll do that later.  This is already really long.

Here’s a great post about how to avoid romancing Kaidan while being rude as little as possible to him.  

Well since he’s right outside the medbay anyway, let’s go talk to the LT.  

Have I mentioned how much I hate the orange glow?  

So anyway, I thought maybe I’d talk here a little bit about Why Kaidan?

I will point out here that I am mostly a hetero woman, so my choices in video game romances lean towards men first, though I’m also very cool with doing non-m/f romances in games, and often do on subsequent playthroughs of games I love, but that’s almost never gonna be my primary romance.

I’d already mentioned my love for Carth Onasi, one of the most hated companions in video games, If You’re A Guy.

By today’s standards, even the Carth romance isn’t that great.  But at the time, it was the greatest romance I’d experienced in video games.  There were a few others that were really good -- Valen Shadowbreath in Neverwinter Nights: Horde of the Underdark was the other really great one, but we also got nightmare fuel like Anomen in Baldur’s Gate (though that gets better with mods + the final BG expansion) or just under-written characters or romances like Casavir in NWN2 (who was much better with mods) or hell, either of your choices in KotOR2 imho.  But I used to play KotOR over and over for many reasons, such as holy shit a Star Wars game(!!) and one where you can actually be a female main character AND has that great Bioware storytelling... but a big reason was Carth.  

A funny thing about Carth Onasi... if you play a male main character, you have a very different experience with Carth than if you play a woman.  And even I can agree that hoo boy Carth gets tiresome quick if you play a male, as a female you at least get to flirt and that calms him down and evens him out a lot. But the one time I tried playing as a male, I didn’t make it off Taris because.. yeouch I could actually see what the guys playing were so mad about.

But hey, that voice.  Raphael Sbarge, I love that voice.  So like I said early on in these posts, I immediately knew I was going to romance Kaidan the very second I confirmed he was romancable, before I even ran back into the ship and met anyone on the crew aside from Joker and Kaidan.

And... that only got confirmed more and more as I went through ME for the first time.  The character is smart, and capable, and respected you, and never questioned your command, but made his feelings pretty clear along the way.  He could be a little doofy but in an adorable way with some of the things he said, honestly there was almost never anything I didn’t love about this character.

I realized some time ago that I have a thing for the Paladin archetype personally. 

This is Casavir, from Neverwinter Nights 2, and in NWN2, there are two romance options for women.  An under-written Lawful Good Paladin in his late 30′s who is willing to buck his superiors to do what he thinks is right but also places you on a pedestal and holds back all his emotions.  He’s a romance option. Or....

Bishop, a chaotic evil ranger who insults you a lot, threatens to rape an NPC under your protection, and ultimately betrays you.  

Most people who played NWN2 seemed to prefer the CE Ranger.  I loved the paladin so much I wrote fix-it fic that I never have gotten around to publishing anywhere to retcon his terrible dumb ending.

There’s a fan-made romance mod that helps with the romances in this game, though I dislike a lot of what they did, ultimately I always use it.

In Dragon Age?

Ah yeah, the Templar-Warden.  Love him.  He does have that “Oh I’m so young and experienced tee-hee” thing going on that isn’t my favorite, (at this point mostly because I’m actually in my mid-40′s so uh, I’m just Old) but otherwise, yeah, love Alistair.

Dragon Age 2, I mean I usually romance Anders but... I’m not real excited about either him or Fenris, or even either of the ladies, though I have done Isabella’s romance (as well as Fenris’) and enjoyed it.  I’d probably romance Avaline (or Varric!), if she were an option.  But yeah, Anders mostly because he IS trying to do what’s right, even if he... well.  You know.  

But Dragon Age Inquisition?

Give me that Blackwall-angst.  That stoic guy trying to be a Warden who comes undone for you.  You’d think I’d go for Cullen, but hey this game gave us two paladin archetypes, though one is merely pretending, he still atones and becomes what he was trying to be, one way or another, if you let him.  I picked this paladin archtype first because I did not like Cullen based on interactions with him in DA1 & 2.  I like him well enough in DA:I but Blackwall is my guy here.

Out of all the many, many companions in SWTOR, who’s my fave?

If Aric Jorgan isn’t a Paladin-type I don’t know who is, especially since any romanceable Jedi are uh, all your female padawans (don’t get me started) until Lana (also female) comes along. 

Hell, in a very long-running 4e D&D game I played from around 2009 to 2014 where my character fell in love with our party leader’s son, married him and fought the final boss 4 months pregnant with our twins.  That character’s husband... was a paladin.  I mean look at this art my friend picked out for his character’s son:

I mean dang, who (of those who are attracted to men of this type) wouldn’t?

I always pick the Paladin.  The guy who is gonna Do What’s Right no matter what it costs him, the guy who’s gonna be loyal, the guy who may bottle up his emotions or keep them under control all the time but ultimately does what it takes to get the girl... that’s my fave.  And that’s Kaidan.

I will also say my second fave archetype is rogue-with-a-heart-of-gold, and that’s more of a Garrus or Varric (if only he were a choice!!! :( ) type.. aka my second choice in these games.

Well that was a lot more words on that subject than I meant to do, so I’m going to just say real quick here that what I love about this first conversation with Kaidan is that he’s already no dummy, he knows something is up, and warns you about it.

We’ll save talk about his backstory for another day.

Let’s head downstairs.

Yay for sped-up elevators!  What used to take like 20 seconds now takes like, four.

URDNOT WREX.

This another place where Shepard starts out just sticking their foot in their mouths completely.  I feel like this is something the game definitely has problems with here.  Shepard should know a lot more about the Genophage, like they should have about say, Spectres, even if the player doesn’t. So basically every response you can give to Wrex about the genophage and what his people are going through sounds really insensitive.  Comparing the relatively minor First Contact War with the entire galaxy more or less uniting to keep the Krogan from taking over after the Rachni war seems pretty dumb, and also like something Shepard should already know.

Loredumping on the Krogans a bunch with Wrex is necessary, but  I think it could have been done better.  Though I think there are a lot of questions about the Krogan and the Genophage that ultimately are important but go unanswered. I’m going to be honest, because generally I want my companions to be happy and ultimately I want the happiest ending I can get, I usually cure the genophage and leave Wrex in charge.  But also I don’t think that ends up with the happiest ending for the galaxy.  Everything about the genophage is terrible, how it works, how it was administered, what it’s done to the Krogan as a people, but let’s be honest, the galaxy will also be in huge trouble just from a resources perspective if each krogan woman can have hundreds (or even just dozens) of babies a year, who are gonna all live a thousand years.  There’s got to be a compromise that, eventually, hopefully Wrex works out if he’s alive at the end of ME3 or the council figures out with Wreav or whoever.  

It is kinda funny though that here, I basically met Wrex at C-Sec, told him I’d help him with Fist, sent him to my ship, and basically just kidnapped him to go help with the rest of the mission.  He wanted to be here, right?  I can only assume I’m paying him a lot.

Ashley!

I do love Ashley Williams.

I’m not going to turn this into a “Is Ashley Racist” thinkpiece.  I’ve read a lot of both sides of this argument and no, I don’t think she is.  Some pieces of her attitude do need to be kicked up a bit, for sure.  She’s got about the same issues with aliens as most of the species of the galaxy have with each other, which sometimes isn’t great, but she’s far from supporting Terra Firma.

She’s smart, she’s funny, a hell of a shot, she’s being held back due to her family name.  I would love for if someday a Wilshenko OT3 were possible.  I’d do that in an instant.  I despise the fact that you can only keep Kaidan forever if you lose Ashley forever, though I don’t see that changing even in a remaster.  Please Bioware, for the super ultra remaster?

I know I need to do another run through the game with Ashley alive. I don’t remember too much of what happens in ME3 when she’s there.

I also love that her story is so much one of family.  From her stories of her sisters, to the point that it’s her own grandfather’s legacy that’s holding her back.  She’s so grounded, she reminds us that there are civilians out there we’re keeping safe, a whole world we rarely see, up in space and in the middle of so much military conflict.

GARRUS.

First of all, whew Garrus looks amazing in the lighting and with the textures with ALOT/MEUITM.  Very handsome.

Interestingly, Garrus does not really loredump on the turians.  We absorb a lot of what we find out about the turians more naturally.  Garrus is more all about C-Sec and the general politics of the Council, of Spectres, of C-Sec.  Gonna be honest, I expected C-sec to play into the game as a whole a lot more than it did based on Garrus’ talks about it.  I mean it was always there, but Bailey ends up being the face of C-Sec 

Garrus’ Law vs. I Do What I Want attitude is a nice way to do a non-goody-two-shoes companion story without having to go evil.  I love that Garrus’ story kinda mirrors our own as players, how are we going to get things done?  Shove a blaster in people’s faces, accept collateral damage, and do whatever it takes to get it done?  OR play by the rules, compromise, and see if that fixes things.

The thing is though, Mass Effect actually is great at giving us the illusion of choice without making a huge difference in the end.  Like I mentioned before... not bringing Garrus to ME1 makes little difference in how he acts in ME2 outside of a few lines of dialog.  Lots of things are like that, like pick Ash or Kaidan on Virmire, and yes one is always gone, but 80% of the content is basically the same from there on out for either character.

There are games out now that do that choice better.  Pathfinder: Kingmaker is one I can think of.  Or Tyranny.  Things you choose can alter the endings of those games drastically, locking entire paths out of the game.  

I used to think that was what I wanted.  Until I played Kingmaker and locked myself out of things I really wanted without realizing it.  I stopped playing the game, sad that my LI dumped me and wouldn’t come back without reloading many, many hours worth of game.  Despite enjoying the game overall, I still haven’t gone back.  When I do play again, I’ll probably keep a lot of tabs open of walkthroughs and tips on how to keep things going how I want.  Kind of defeating the purpose of the game.

Anyway, I got super off track again.  The point is, Garrus is the companion that gives us the most Choice in who he is.  Which is cool.  He illustrates our Paragon vs Renegade dilemma.  And it’s neat that it does make changes in some of the things he says in the future, but overall, his story doesn’t change much no matter what you do (Unless you, ya know, get him killed in ME2).

And therein lies a problem with Mass Effect, and video games as a whole.  It’s neat to see the little changes, but it’s rare for anything to be an actual Big Change, because... that’s a loooot of work for a developer and how much more money is all that going to cost him.

At some point in the future I’ll point out how lucky we are for what we did get, though.

Heeeey it’s Chief Engineer Greg Adams!  I wonder how many people don’t even know he has a first name?  Anyway, thank you for your one short conversation in which you explain how the Normandy works (honestly, great job with explaining this, Bioware, even if the science is ???) and like three sentences on who you are.  Wasted opportunity to give you an actual character.  Glad you like Tali, though!  See you in ME3.

TALI!

Okay, I will totally accept that Shepard doesn’t know much past the basics of quarian society.  That makes a lot more sense than Shepards not knowing much about asari.  

The quarians are so much more of an original creation I feel like than a lot of what we’ve seen in the galaxy so far.  Krogan?  Basically Klingons.  Turians?  Space Romans. Asari?  Twilek/Space Elves but ALL Hot Ladies.  Qarians feel like something new though.

I mean, I guess before they had to live in suits they were pretty normal, but their entire culture doesn’t feel like something we’ve seen everyplace before.  I mean I’ve seen space (g-slur)  but, eh not really.  

And Tali herself is such a good character.  I mean, she does suffer a little from being Very Important with her father being one of five admirals in a population of six million people but, I’ll allow it.  Nobody else on the crew has Very Important Parents.  I mean Garrus’ father is a little high up in the ranks but that’s a non-factor, Ash’s grandfather was but he’s dead and never seen, Wrex’s father is a chieftan but none of those is central to their current story or as big as this one. I mean, Spacer Shep’s own mother is a captain of a ship.  Tali herself in-game isn’t that sexualized -- most of that was the fandom’s doing.  She’s young but also confident and has her shit together.  

She shoulda been a same-sex romance in ME2/3 though, damnit!

Joker. Is. Amazing. And uh, also shoulda been a romance option. 

Hey first of all, how great was it that they put in disabled representation in this game.  I have read a few posts on how it could have been better, and definitely agree, but it’s also been so important to have say, Geordi LaForge as chief engineer of the Enterprise and also Joker here, in space, being awesome on spaceships.  And he really earns his the right to his bravado in calling himself the best pilot in the galaxy.  

Also?  Casting Seth Green was such a great choice.  I couldn’t imagine Joker as anyone else.  I mean this is Bioware so we expect, and definitely got, great voice acting (except for... ugh you know, we’ll get there in ME3) but honestly Seth Green was a particularly good choice.  I don’t care that he’s covered with sixteen layers of plot armor, he deserves it.

He’s the companion that we don’t ever get to take in the squad.  (I mean, except for that brief amazing moment in ME2)

I only wish in ME1 he had as much to say as in ME2/3.  At least he gets cool snarky lines after all the major missions.

One last thing before we get off the ship for awhile, I love that the crew is actually comprised of both men AND women in ME1.  With different hairstyles and faces, and even skin tones.  It’s nice to see they didn’t just reuse the same guy over and over for the nameless NPCs.  

Well, I guess they get names in ME2. :v

Anyway, I would like to point out, that there are seventeen nameless NPCs on the Normandy.

Then there’s Adams, Tali, Garrus, Wrex, Ashley, Kaidan, Chakwas, Liara, Pressley, and Joker.

That’s twenty-seven people and eight sleep pods.  Let’s remove the aliens, who couldn’t fit in a sleep pod (Garrus and Wrex), twenty-five people.  Are there people sleeping in the sleep pods now?  There must be, right?  Everyone can’t be awake when we’re on the ship just because we’re there?  How does that math add up?  Who is sleeping where, HOW DOES IT WORK!?  

Well, that’s their problem. I got my own bed.  Kaidan can share.

Also just... don’t get me started on how stupid this is.  I mean it’s nice having a shop on the ship but... the justification is terrible.  We all know it.  He was counted as one of the 17 nameless, btw.

Okay well, I was going to get off the ship this update but this is already stupid long and honestly I don’t have too much more content to post so, I’m gonna go actually play this game!

[nerdierholler]

OC Interview Questions

I was tagged but @heraldofwho​ (thank you!) and I’m tagging @slothssassin​, @katajanokka​ , @dickeybbqpit​, and @bronzeagelove​ plus anyone else who just wants to!  I’m going to go with post-Trespasser Ithlen, because I miss her.

In a camp, somewhere near the Teviner border with a small band of scouts from the former Inquisition.

name ➔  Ithlen Lavellan Mahariel are you single ➔  There’s a sad smile, “Yes, I am.” are you happy ➔ Happy as I can be, given the circumstances. When your work consumes your time and identity, happiness can be hard to define. Things are going well, plans are being made, and I still have the luxury of enjoying the small things in life. are you angry ➔ At the moment, no. In general, sometimes. It’s always there under the surface, anger about the way parts of my life have played out, the reasoning leading up to our current state of affairs, the fact that I have once more taken on another seemingly impossible task that few will fully comprehend or thank me for should I be successful. It’s too easy to be consumed by those thoughts, and there have been times in my life when that has been the case. I try to stay focused on the task at hand these days. are your parents still married ➔ Still? They never were. I wonder how much different my life would have been had they been allowed to. The world might be a very different place as a result.

More under the cut!

NINE FACTS

birthplace ➔ Brecilian Forest, Ferelden hair color ➔ black, with an increasing number of grays mixed in. eye color ➔ gray birthday ➔ late fall mood ➔ Tired, always tired. Other than that, content I suppose. gender ➔ female summer or winter ➔ Summer. It probably goes back to growing up in the forest. Summer was a time of plenty. Long days where you could get so much done and still have time to enjoy yourself after. Winter was a time of patience. Watching food stores, being even more careful stalking prey, cooped up crafting or weaving in the aravels to pass the time. I liked the soups and storytelling around the fires with warm mugs though.

morning or afternoon ➔ Morning. Get up, get going, hopefully get enough done to enjoy a little break for tea later.

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

are you in love ➔ I...don’t know. ‘It’s complicated’ would be the understatement of the age. But there is someone out there I care very much about and who weighs heavily on my mind. I’m not sure I’d call it love, but it’s something. do you believe in love at first sight ➔ For myself, no. I’m much too practical for that. I’m also so focused on my work that it’s usually the last thing I would ever think of when meeting someone new. who ended your last relationship ➔ We both did, him maybe more than me. We were heading down different paths, though at the time I had no idea just how different they really were. have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔ *She sighs* Probably, when I was very young. I didn’t mean to and we both thought I might change my mind some day. I loved Tamlen, just not in that way, and I’m not exactly sure how he felt about that. It wasn’t something we discussed. I know we were expected to marry and he was more at home with that than I was. are you afraid of commitments ➔ Not at all, although some may look at the patterns of my life and say otherwise.

have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ This week? No. But it depends on the week and who I’m with. There are times where I may hug several people in a day quite happily. have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ It’s very likely, though no one has ever approached me or sent me mysterious notes and gifts if that’s what you’re asking. have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ Yes. *the word is barely a whisper*

SIX CHOICES

love or lust ➔ I don’t see why it can’t be both, but if I have to pick one, love. Even if we aren’t in a romantic relationship, we still need love, and there are so many kinds of love. Love is important. lemonade or iced tea ➔ Neither. Hot tea is my preference year round. cats or dogs ➔ I’ve had wonderful companions of both over the years. My current situation prevents me from having either with me, but I always stop to visit with the friendly ones when I’m on my travels.

a few best friends or many regular friends ➔ A few best friends. Apparently I have a long standing reputation for being distant. It’s not entirely untrue, but I have my reasons for keeping most people at an arm’s length. wild night out or romantic night in ➔ I can probably count the wild nights out I’ve had my whole life on one hand and haven’t had one in well over a decade. Romantic night in is my choice. day or night ➔ I don’t quite understand what I’m choosing here, but day I suppose if only because sometimes unpleasant things lurk in the quiet dark, especially when we’re alone.

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

been caught sneaking out ➔ Caught leaving to go do something I wasn’t supposed to be doing, not that I can recall. Gotten caught after the fact? Frequently when I was growing up.

fallen down/up the stairs ➔ Are there people out there who haven’t? Not to mention, I lived in a keep for 10 years, anyone who says no is lying.

wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ So many things. And I’ve learned that sometimes that hurt never fully goes away. wanted to disappear ➔ Many times, sometimes just to avoid getting in trouble with the Keeper, but there are still times where I want to wander away and stop being the person everyone is depending on. If I really wanted to, I probably could, but I’d never be able to look at my reflection again.

FOUR PREFERENCES

smile or eyes ➔ Both. shorter or taller ➔ Most people are taller than me so this one’s not that difficult. But to tell the truth, it doesn’t matter much to me.

intelligence or attraction ➔ A pretty face can only take one so far if there’s nothing to talk about and all you end up doing is staring at each other for hours. hook-up or relationship ➔ Relationship. Hook-ups are not in the best interest of a person in my position, but that’s also just not who I am. I’ve always been too serious about things like that.

FAMILY

do you and your family get along ➔ I've never had a family in the traditional sense. Growing up I got along well with the clan and those in it. Then the wardens were my family and it’s always a good idea to get alone with one’s commander. Seriously though, I was proud to oversee those men and women. The Inquisition was a messier family, I think that’s usually the case when politics get involved. There were good people there, but it was a huge organization and it’s probably best that most have a little more space now. would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ Surprisingly, no. If you list the many turns my life has taken, I suspect most would say it is, but it’s just life to me, and the only kind I’ve known for a very long time. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone else though. have you ever ran away from home ➔ No. In fact the Keeper practically had to throw me out to get me to go with Duncan. I’ve had to leave homes since then, but I’ve never run away from them.

have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ I wouldn’t say she kicked me out, but the Keeper was very firm in her insistence that I join the Grey Wardens. In fairness, I would have died, or worse, if I hadn’t.

FRIENDS

do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ No? Is that a thing? do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔ Yes. I keep a small circle of friends and they are all close. who is your best friend ➔ Leliana and Nate. Though now I’m usually out of contact with both for longer periods. I miss them terribly.

who knows everything about you ➔ See my previous answer, though Leliana probably edges out Nate just because she’s Leliana. It’s to be expected when you choose to have one of the best spymasters in the world as your best friend.

[floatingcatacombs]

Why Tomoyo’s Mom is a Political Lesbian

12 Days of Aniblogging, Day 1

In my Cardcaptor Sakura gushpiece last year, I made an offhanded promise to write about why Tomoyo’s mom is a political lesbian once I finished my watchthrough. With all 70 episodes under my belt, it’s time to investigate what I was grasping at there.

I will never be over Sakura’s poncho in episode 2

We hear about Tomoyo’s mom as early as the second episode of the show. After Sakura and Tomoyo make plans to break into their school at night, Tomoyo arrives with a full security escort in a tinted vehicle, with an armored van full of costumes for Sakura right behind her. You see, her mother is the president of a very large toy company, which means that she’s ridiculously rich and able to assign bodyguards to her kid like it’s nothing. The two observations that instantly come to one’s mind are that a) all of the bodyguards are women, and b) they all have the gayest haircuts imaginable.

“And here are my conspicuously butch and femme bodyguards”

The rest of Tomoyo’s family situation really only shows up in Episode 10 and 11. We are properly introduced to her mom (Sonomi), and the chip on her shoulder. She’s out to spite Sakura’s father in increasingly lavish ways, and we learn that this stems from a long-standing grudge – Sakura’s dad married the girl that Sonomi was also helplessly in love with. So that’s the ‘lesbian’ box checked off of my argument.

That haircut..sure is asymmetric

But what about the ‘political’ part of ‘political lesbian’? I probably should have started with that rather than Cardcaptor wiki synopses. Political lesbianism is a combination of second-wave feminist ideals with the notion that sexuality is a choice. Rather than dumping a manifesto onto you, I’ll sum up the underlying philosophical argument at play here:

1. Sexual orientation is a choice, as is choosing to act on sexual orientation. 2. Heterosexuality is inherently patriarchal and oppressive. 3. Women have an obligation to avoid and fight patriarchy wherever they can.

___________

Conclusion 1: All women should avoid heterosexuality. Conclusion 2: All women who continue participating in heterosexuality are abandoning their obligations.

This is a seriously weighty argument. If we accept all three premises, we are left with the conclusion that not only is heterosexuality harmful to women, but women must abandon straight relationships, otherwise they are actively collaborating with the enemy.

What does the world even look like if one follows this argument to its conclusion? Most political lesbians also believe in lesbian separatism – the notion that women’s liberation cannot be achieved by collaborating with men. Women ought to give up marriage, families, and sex with men, otherwise they will never be able to overcome institutional sexism. As an alternative to sex with men, women could consider…sex with women! But whether they have sex with women or none at all isn’t a big deal in the scheme of things. What really matters is the political action of refusing heterosexuality.

political lesbian praxis

The Daidouji family’s living situation all but confirms Sonomi’s commitment to separatism. She lives in a modernist mansion where all of her maids, guards, and other servants are women. Most notably, she has no husband or male partner to be seen whatsoever. Sakura even makes the observation that Tomoyo never talks about her father. Other than whatever happened for Sonomi to have Tomoyo, she appears to have completely cut the concept of men and patriarchy out of her life. If her goal was to create a lesbian separatist dynasty, she appears to have succeeded (Tomoyo is, of course, a baby lesbian in the making).

Me gaining class consciousness

There is a certain allure to political lesbianism. The idea that men are the root of all suffering and cutting ties to men provides a fairy-tale escape for some women. For anyone who has ever felt threatened or imbalanced in heterosexual relationships, it offers an explanation on top of the way out. Of course, choosing to be a political lesbian still requires swallowing some pretty big pills. Should we try?

The most challenging premise at first is the idea that sexual orientation is a choice that can and should be changed on a whim. The social construction of sexuality is definitely not a mindset that has won out. In fact, the modern gay rights movements in the United States has specifically been spearheaded with the idea that gay people are “born this way”, a purely biological challenge to the idea that someone can just decide to like women once they hear about the evils of men. Indeed, the political lesbians of old were somewhat split on whether sexuality is socially constructed or a biological impulse. However, they can just take the middle ground and argue that it doesn’t really matter – lesbian relationships may or may not be able to provide an alternative to heterosexual relationships for historically straight women, but what really matters is the political act of refusing heterosexuality. If a woman cannot bring herself to love other woman, she can simply take a vow of celibacy or otherwise avoid men. This brings us straight to the second and third arguments – that heterosexuality itself is oppressive and must be actively resisted.

Sure, patriarchy and oppression are bad, but the routes chosen to argue against them are important. Although they believe in flexible and constructed sexuality, political lesbian’s arguments against heterosexuality are extremely biological. The seminal pamphlet “Love your Enemy?” argues that “there is a very special importance attached to sexuality under male supremacy when every sexual reference, every sexual joke, every sexual image serves to remind a woman of her invaded centre...” Penetration, specifically, carries strong symbolic significance in reinforcing the power of men on top of its physically invasive component. Even non-penetrative heterosexual sex still contains that roleplay of power and powerlessness to a political lesbian. There is no loophole that will allow women to keep loving men ethically – the demands of political lesbianism are Kantian maxims.

Sonomi loved Sakura’s mom to the point of viewing her pairing off with a man as a betrayal. It’s very easy to see it as an ideological betrayal on top of the personal one.

The elephant in the room is, of course, the third-wave notion that femaleness and maleness are not inherently tied to genitalia. After all, to the shock and chagrin of many a radical feminist, some women have penises. Is their sex inherently heteropatriarchal? What about men who don’t have penises? Do they have a get-out-of-jail-free card from this whole mess? What about nonbinary people, who have been completely ruled out of this conversation so far? In arguing a biological model of oppression, political lesbians will need to be able to answer for all of this.

Most of them respond by biting the bullet and doubling down on their original positions. They claim that trans women are just scheming men in dresses, that trans men are gender traitors who want to abandon their fellow women in pursuit of male privilege, and that nonbinary people are simply confused. It is through this reasoning that so many political lesbians grew up to be trans-exclusionary radical feminists. Many former members of the Leeds Revolutionary Feminist Group, such as Julie Bindel, have gradually pivoted from arguing for women’s rights on all fronts to single-mindedly becoming obsessed with making sure that trans people are forcibly excluded from all gendered spaces. Not only is it depressing to see so many radical feminists fall down this pathway, it’s terrifying to watch as TERFs gain more and more of a media foothold as they start to team up with their enemies, the religious right, over their shared hatred of transgender existence.  

shut the fuck up, terf

It’s a depressing turn of events! Still, even knowing that the movement is rooted in transphobia, can political lesbianism be salvaged? The idea of women’s-only-spaces as a place for comfort, safety, and liberation still feels powerful and immediately understandable and implementable. Though the mainstream LGBT+ movement gained widespread acceptance through advocating that there was nothing they could do about their sexuality, compulsory heterosexuality is still a real thing for many women and spaces to help recognize that would be very useful. Of course, the definition of a woman is going to have to broaden to be trans-inclusive, and as recent efforts to amend the Gender Recognition Act in the UK have shown, this is very difficult in the current TERFy political climate. But I don’t think that every bit of political lesbian ideology needs to be shelved or trashed. As future waves of feminism start reigniting and reconciling various second-wave and third-wave conflicts, I’d estimate that political lesbianism is going to get a fair reevaluation amongst mainstream feminists sometime within the next decade, with the bad parts hopefully cut and the strong parts returned to public consciousness.

pretend kero-chan is giving this lecture ok

So where does this leave Tomoyo’s mom? uhhhhhhhhhhh

Tomoyo’s mom manages to achieve the lesbian separatist ideal of a life lived without men, but she only manages to do so by taking advantage of her vast wealth to set up her own miniature state of sorts. However, this totally goes against the radical feminist principles of grassroots organizing and class consciousness. In achieving the physical goals of political lesbianism, Sonomi has completely missed the symbolic goals of the ideology and is actually reinforcing heteropatriarchal power structures. With her vast concentrated wealth and vertical power hierarchy over her guards and maids, Sonomi is reproducing the very male supremacy power structures that radical feminists work to fight against. Though she may fancy herself a political lesbian, she probably would not be welcomed by any of them.

Also her hairstyle is still kind of bad. terf bangs, lol

[chrgemeup]

hola.  i’m  frankie  —  she ╱ her,  23  years  old,  &  coming  to  you  live  from  the  cst.  i’ve  been  dying  to  use  the  love  of  my  life  again  and  join  a  decent  family  rp,  so  i’m  w/o  a  doubt  very  excited  to  be  here  !  a  few  tidbits  about  the  “refined”  detective  can  be  found  under  the  read  more.  if  you’d  like  to  plot,  𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑒  𝑡𝘩𝑖𝑠  𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑡  𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒  𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒  &  i  will  come  crashing  into  your  im’s.  also,  thanks  for  reading  this  sucky  intro  !

••  is  that  jessica  chastain?  no,  that’s  just  richelle  armstrong,  the  45  year  old  cis  female  who  is  a  detective.  some  say  they’re  sarcastic  &  taciturn,  but  their  family  and  friends  will  swear  they’re  incisive  &  open-minded.  when  i  think  of  them,  i  think  of  black  wardrobe,  glass  or  rosé  wine,  dark  circles  under  eyes  hiding  behind  makeup.  i  wonder  if  her  family  knows  that  they  suffer  from  ptsd  after  a  case.  ●●

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒

full name.  richelle  lorraine  armstrong  (  née  o’conner  )

pronunciation.  r  ih  sh  eh  l

meaning of name.  rich  and  powerful  ruler

aliases.  ricki/rickie,  elle,  raine,  rainey

age.  forty-five

date of birth.  february  2nd

astrological sign.  aquarius

place of birth.  aviano,  italy

hometown.  boston,  massachusetts

ethnicity.  white  ╱  so  many  to  list  tbh

nationality.  american

languages spoken.  english,  french,  italian  &  spanish

religion.  agnostic

gender & pronouns.  cis  female  ;  she ╱ her

sexual orientation.  bisexual

romantic orientation.  demiromantic

profession.  detective

current location.  ashcroft,  massachusetts

appearance.  tba

face claim.  jessica  chastain

height.  5′4″  ft  ╱  163  cm

weight.  123  lbs  ╱  56  kg

eye color.  green

hair color.  red

complexion.  tba

build.  fit,  trained

tattoos.  few

piercings.  one  on  each  standard  &  upper  lobe,  +  helix

parents.  henry  o’conner  &  carlie-rose  o’conner  (  née  ramsey  )

siblings.  two  ╱  one  brother  &  one  sister

marital status.  married

spouse.  agent  armstrong

children.  three  ╱  roarke,  daughter,  daughter

pets.  tbd

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘

richelle o’conner was born and raised in aviano, italy ( at a u.s. military base ), until the age of 9; she and her siblings were military brats. dad was in the air force while mom was an awarded architect. growing up in italy was different to say the least. she stood out because of her red hair. wasn’t bullied. settled in a lot quicker than her siblings. while attending school, she was both in english & italian classes, and is fluent as hell.

considering the fact that aviano is a small town in italy, there was no doubt that ricki was going to miss it. it was upsetting that she was going to leave her friends behind, ones that she was truly going to miss ( teachers included ). sadly, they didn’t keep in touch.

ricki’s four grandparents would do the best they could to help when they moved back to boston — where the o’conners are originally from. either they would stay with them for weeks, dropping them off at school and/or picking them up afterward, life at home was decent. she will often comment that she was raised by her grandparents.

mom’s job required her to travel; an architect that worked with a company that had clients from all over. however, whenever she was home, she dedicated 100% of her time with her three children. dad would be deployed for months, even years, on end. would rarely see one another, but whenever he came home... they were all relieved !

richelle did NOT go to some fancy ivy league college, decided to be a student at bunker hill community college. wasn’t too far from home, a walking distance. one helluva student. miraculously passed her classes. a bit of a daredevil.

graduated with a bachelor’s degree in criminal justice. started out as a cop, was given a promotion as a detective two years later. ( this might not be how it usually goes. not that i’d know but she’s that good. )

she met her significant other, fell in love, and a few years later, they were husband and wife. never thought she’d get married. oof, still surprised that she is, but they make it work and loves him, of course. ( this could change as soon as MUSE 1 is taken up. )

FAMILY COMES FIRST. KIDS, WORK, HUSBAND — and in that order specifically. she might become the mother of dragons when it comes to her kids. giving birth to three kiddos means: she protec, she attac, but most importantly... you don’t wanna come across her dark side. she’ll go above and beyond for them. husband included.

ALSO, she cares for people to the point where she forgets to take care of herself... and refuses to. the woman needs to chill for a sec and someone should remind her. but her secret is that she suffers from ptsd from a previous case she’s had. richelle’s lacking in the sleeping department. she rarely sleeps now, so she covers those dark circles with makeup. wears makeup almost every time she has a shift and avoids the berating from her co-workers... because they sure as hell can be annoying.

even if she spends the majority of her time at the police station, the detective does give 100% of her time + undivided attention to family and friends. rickie takes work seriously, but not herself. she cleans up good. isn’t afraid to take a challenge ! don’t challenge her, don’t recommend it.

a women with few words. speaks when spoken to, otherwise she’s quiet. a rational woman. shares opinions, is willing to listen to others if nobody will; open-minded. an approachable detective. she’s not scary... i should have just said: easygoing.

i’m gonna stop before i get carried away & i’ll make a biography + stats page for her in due course.

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃  𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

confidante —  this  person  would  know  what’s  going  on  with  richelle.  they’d  be  the  first  &  last  to  know  that  she’s  suffering  from  ptsd  after  closing  a  horrifying  case...  and  bonus  points  if  they  work  at  the  police  station,  too  !

best  friends —  they  were  grew  up  together  in  boston  (  or  have  known  each  other  since  living  in  ashcroft  ).  richelle  isn’t  your  typical  gossiper  but  will  give  y/m  an  ear.  she’ll  try,  but  no  promises.

honestly,  give  me  everything  and  anything  you  could  possibly  think  of.  i’m  open  for  anything  !  don’t  be  afraid  to  share  your  ideas  w/  me.  the  only  2  i  could  think  of.  shame.

[katlyn1948]

Only Human: Part 8: Epilogue “The Family of Storm’s End”

Here is the epilogue!! So I am like seriously considering a sequel for this with the children that Arya and Gendry have, but it won't be a multi chapter (I say that, but let's be real, it probably will be) and may just be a one shot. I have had this idea for like a future story with the kids of Arya and Gendry, so I may decided to write that in the near future. I also want to give an update on AUJ. I have about half of the next chapter written and am planning on uploading around 4th of July weekend. But let me know, seriously, if you guys want to more of Bella and her siblings (note: she had four other siblings). I just have to have a big family for them, considering Arya comes from one and I feel like Gendry would want one. Also, this part was literally put together because I was at Pride all weekend here in Florida and I am hella exhausted. My feet hurt, but my heart is screaming with joy! This was my first Pride parade and I loved it!! Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this and let me know what you think! As always, happy reading!!

Epilogue: The Family of Storm’s End

It had been six moons since Arya showed up at Storm’s End and she was finally beginning to settle with ease. It had taken some time for her to become familiar with routine, but once she did she found it embracing. For most of her life she had been on the run; trying to escape the demons of her past. Now that she had time to still, she appreciated the life that was around her. She was still that uncage wolf that she would always be, and Gendry understood that.

The first moon in Storm’s End had been hard on Arya and all she wanted to do was escape. She had gotten up in the dead of night in no more than in her sleeping gown and made her way to the busy shores. She needed to look out at the sea; to see the waves crash against the side of the castle. She had missed the open waters and running a ship.

She didn’t want to have an excuse to run away, so she had given her ship to Aries. He was very much like her and couldn’t sit still for long. He wanted to continue what she started and find west of Westeros. Arya had given him her blessing and gave her ship to him for good measure. He was grateful and had promised to return it in one piece. Aires’ lover, Donovan had intended to go with him but couldn’t pass up the opportunity to work in the kitchens at the castle.

It was a momentous goodbye. Arya, Sienna, and Alyse had joined Donovan at the dock at Griffin’s Roost. Gendry had been hesitant, but agreed to let Arya take young Bella, so long as he joined them. There were tears and laughter as they watched their dear friend depart on his journey. Donovan had been a mess, tears and snot running down his face. Arya couldn’t help but laugh at the confusion upon Gendry’s face.

Later that night, when they were staying at the inn half way between Storm’s End and Griffin’s Roost, Arya had explained to her stupid bull that Donovan and Aries were very much like his Uncle Renly and preferred the company of men. His cheeks went bright red and they laughed through the night.

There were more times since, that she would wake and sneak out of the castle to sit on the sands and watch the reflection of the moon on the water.

By the time the third moon came, Gendry had begun to sense Arya’s absence in the bed beside him. He woke just shortly after she had made her escape and had a feeling on where she would be. He made his way out of the castle and around to the beaches below. He saw her small figure sitting on the shore just before the waves could reach her feet. She had her knees pulled up to her chest with her chin resting atop of them.

There hadn’t been too many times in Arya’s life where someone could sneak up on her, but that night, Gendry had. She was startled by his sudden presence beside her but was glad that he finally was able to find her. She rested her head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her small frame.

“You finally found me.” She said to him, pressing further into him.

Gendry sighed, “Aye. It only took three moons.”

Arya gave a small chuckle and continued to gaze out at the sea.

“And what about Bella?” She asked after short time of silence.

“I woke Sienna before I left. She is watching her.” Gendry paused. He knew why she was on the beach, but he needed to hear it from her.

“What is going on Arya? Do you regret staying?” He asked her.

Arya lifted her head from his shoulder and looked him dead in the eyes.

“I do not regret anything. I…I just miss it. I miss the freedom it allowed me to have; being on the sea. I just feel like I am suffocating at times.” She confessed.

Gendry placed a small kiss on her lips.

“If you need time, I will give it to you. If you have to escape for a few weeks at a time, let me know. I will never hold you back.”

Arya returned a kiss to him, the smile on her face never leaving.

“I know you will never hold me back, but there is someone who will, and she is sound asleep in her cot up there,” Arya pointed to the castle towering above them.

Gendry let out a laugh, “Yes, because she is a demanding babe. I’ve seen you feed her, she eats like your teat will run away! And even though she loves her mother, I’m sure that Alyse and Sienna will be more than happy to help with her, if ever you feel the need to escape for a bit.”

Arya ley out a sigh, “I know they would, but I just can’t leave her. Not yet. Maybe when she is older, where she doesn’t rely on me as much. But for now, I stay here with her and with you.”

“If you say so.” Gendry teased.

Arya gave him a slight shove and they stayed there on the beach for some time, just watching the waves move against the sandy shore. By the time they decided to return, the sun was just beginning to rise above the horizon.

That was three moons back and Arya was now able to spend her time wisely. She trained young men and women in the art of water dancing and was even teaching Alyse a few things to protect herself as any woman should know how to.

She even helped Gendry in the day to day runnings of the castle. A few of the liege lords were weary but took her in with open arms. There was one liege lord who had questioned the parentage of Bella, and Arya was quick to let him know otherwise.

“Call my child a bastard again, Lord Estermont, and I can promise that my dagger won’t miss your head a second time.” She had told him coldly.

Her Cat’s Paw dagger has stuck in a banister right behind the lord’s head. She had thrown it at him the moment that word left his mouth. His face went pale and he gave a quick nod of his head. She never heard that word come out of his mouth again.

After that moment, the lords new better than to question Lady Arya Stark.

Mya had a harder shell to crack. She was extremely protective of her brother and doubted Arya’s intentions on more than one occasion. She didn’t fully trust Arya and it would take time for her to completely open herself up to her.

Arya knew that Mya was would be the oil to her water. They didn’t seem to mesh well with one another and avoided each other at all costs. Mya even started to avoid Gendry, consider Arya was always with him. They hardly spoke and last full conversation they had was when Arya first arrived.

Mya fully believed that Arya would disappear on night, and never return; breaking her brother’s heart like she had just a few years prior.

When Gendry came to her one night asking for her advice in marriage, she quickly tried to shut down the idea.

“Don’t be stupid, little brother. If she didn’t want to marry you then, she doesn’t want to marry you now. What is the difference?” She chastised.

“The difference, Mya, is that we have a child together and I truly believe that she’ll stay. The people love her and even the lords have come around. She won’t leave Bella, at least not yet, and I want to spend the rest of my life with her.” Gendry confessed.

Mya groaned in frustration. Gendry had told her about the night he found Arya on the beach. He told her the conversation that they had nearly three moons ago. She had told him then to not be surprised if he woke and Arya was truly gone. She even called him an idiot for allowing her to leave like that, if she chose to.

“Do what you want, Gendry. I don’t care. Just don’t come to me when she leaves again.” Mya stormed out her own room and headed towards the kitchens. It had become her favorite place here of late, and it was the only place in the castle where she could drink her ale without any interruptions. But that night she was joined by none other than Arya Stark.

She was waiting for her at a small table seated by the hearth where the cooks baked their bread. There were only two seats and Arya was occupying one of them. She had two goblets of ale sitting atop the table; one in her hand and the other in front of the empty seat.

“Seven hells, can I have not one place to myself?” Mya exclaimed.

“I am not staying long, just want to talk.” Arya explained.

Mya took the seat across from her and downed the goblet of ale. She grabbed the near by pitcher and refilled her cup.

“What do you want to talk about?” Mya’s tone was a bit harsh and she didn’t care.

“I know what Gendry asked you. I have had a feeling he’s been wanting to ask me again for some time. Well, that and I also found a small box in his chest that housed a ring. That stupid bull! I don’t need a ring.” Arya took a sip of her goblet and cringed at the taste. She never really liked ale, she preferred wine, but thought it best to have Mya’s favorite drink for the situation.

“So, you are going to say no.” It wasn’t a question.

Arya cocked her head and raised her left eyebrow, “I never said that. I just said that I didn’t need a ring.”

Mya was beginning to get frustrated with the conversation and wanted nothing more than escape the suffocating interaction.

“What do you want, Arya? Do you want my blessing? Well, sorry, I won’t give it. I worry for him and I worry that you’ll break his heart again. I can’t have that.” Mya confessed, her voice slightly cracking.

“I know how it is to worry and to protect your brother. I did the same with mine and in the end, he became more broken than before. But I want you to know that I will never hurt him again. I’ve thought about leave for some time when Bella gets older, but the more I think about it, the more I hate the idea. I can’t leave him. Not again. I love Gendry and I want to marry him.” Arya opened her heart to Mya, hoping that she would believe the words that she was saying.

Mya sighed. She could hear the truth behind Arya’s words and it aggravated her. She wanted so hard not to believe her, but she couldn’t help but see the emotion on Arya’s face. There in front of her, sat a girl that had become vulnerable, when it was nearly impossible for her to do so.

“Alright. But if you do anything to hurt him, I promise I will gut you myself.” Mya stated.

Arya let out a small chuckle, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

The two women remained in the kitchens for a time, just talking and genuinely getting to know one another.

After their conversation, Mya had begun to care for Arya like any sister would and started to truly believe that she was here to stay.

She enjoyed watching her brother and Arya interact. She could see the true love that each of them had for the other. She could see the way Gendry would stare adoringly at Arya when she would be in the training yard or how Arya would look at Gendry when he was in the forge working on whatever weapon a liege lord had ordered.

It was the type of love that she hadn’t seen and hoped that she would never lose to see.

She even began to love Bella in a way that she didn’t know she was capable of. It was a different kind of love than the one she had for her brother or even Arya. This love was that of a mother and child, and even though Bella wasn’t hers, she would love her just as fiercely as her parents did.

They had become a family, the lot of them. It wasn’t just Arya, Gendry and Bella. It was Alyse, Sienna, Donovan, and Mya too.

Arya didn’t think that she would be this lucky and gain a family that loved her just as much as her other family had. It was perfect for her, and she didn’t need anyone else.

So, just a moon later, she married Gendry with only her family in attendance. She didn’t need a large party or celebration, all she needed were the people that mattered most to her. Even her brother, the king and her sister, the queen were in attendance. She had sent a raven beyond the wall to let Jon know of her nuptials and had received one back congratulating her on her happiness. Gendry had also received a letter from Jon, which he had yet to share with Arya.

The wedded, celebrated, and bedded; becoming joined as husband and wife.

Several years had gone by and Jon had been given a pardon to visit Arya on Bella’s third nameday. It had been a happy surprise and one that Arya would never forget. Jon stayed with them for three weeks and when the time came to bid farewell, Arya had cried into his chest as if she were a little girl.

“I’ll see you again. Take care, and make sure you keep Gendry in his place.” Jon had smiled to her.

Arya nodded and gave her big brother a soft kiss of the cheek.

She saw Jon leave the gates and didn’t tear her gaze from his back until he had disappeared over the horizon.

She wiped the tears from her face and made her way to the training yard.

Gendry knew better than to disturb her when she was emotional and thought it best to avoid her. Although Bella had yet to learn that skill.

She toddled down to the yard and grasped her mother’s leg.

“Don’t cry, mama.” She whined into Arya’s leg.

Arya lifted her child into her arms, hugging her.

“I’m not, my sweet. Now, where is your father? He should have been watching you.”

As if summoned, Gendry had made his appearance.

“Bella, what have I told you about wondering off. I’m sorry, Arya, she is a quick one. Much like you.” He leaned forward and planted a kiss of her lips.

“Mhh, she is like me. I just hope the next one is like you.” Arya said smoothly.

It had taken Gendry several moments to realize what Arya had said. His eyes widened, and his mouth became slightly agape.

“Are you certain?”

Arya nodded, “The maester confirmed that I may be three moons along.”

Gendry’s face broke out into a wide grin. He lifted Arya into his arms, with Bella still in Arya’s. The two girls giggled as they were being twirled around.

He gently set them down on the ground and Gendry gave Arya another sweet kiss.

“Eww, papa!” Bella squealed.

Gendry laughed and turned his attention to Bella, “I’ll show you eww.”

He began to tickle her profusely, giving her small kisses on her cheeks. Bella giggled and wiggled out of Arya’s arms, running away from her father. Gendry followed behind her, chasing her into the main courtyard.

Arya smiled at the pair and couldn’t help but feel her heart swell with joy, and although the thought of another babe had scared her, she was truly excited to see what the future help for the family of Storm’s End.  

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