#other people’s ignorance does not negate our existence

[boathouse]

for me, to be aro is to feel lonely but not in the way that everyone thinks i should feel lonely.

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

I was following your post about grim dark comics like The Boys. And sometimes I wonder if people think bad things are more real than good things. Yes, the world is filled with sorrow and pain and injustice and lies. But that doesn't negate the existence of love and joy and mercy and truth. One of my favorite writers has a quote "Don't be led away by those howls about realism. Remember-pine woods are just as real as pigsties and a darn sight pleasanter to be in." to be continued in a second ask

Pt. 2. I see all these progressive activists on tumblr and elsewhere and they all seem so miserable, just desperately unhappy. And I think they truly believe on some level that no one can or should be happy as long as one person is unhappy or miserable. As if it's a betrayal to enjoy a sunset or play with your dog or spend time with loved ones if there are people who can't enjoy that right now. And I hate that mindset, wanting everyone else to be miserable just because you are miserable is evil.

You hit the nail right on the head. You're basically seeing an intersection of two kinds of people. On one hand you have the people who worship at the altar of George RR Martin and think the highest form of art is miserable people being miserable in a world where goodness can't survive. On the other, you have the shirt rending "why won't someone do something" people who inject depressing news like it's heroin and base their entire sense of self-worth on how hard they fight for The Cause--or whatever The Cause is this week. They're the very real embodiment of this:

But all the whining about "realism" utterly ignores that goodness does exist. Misery isn't the default state of the world. At no other point in human history have so many people been lifted out of poverty. At no other point in human history have the poor of the western world had access to luxuries that kings of old would have sold their entire kingdoms just to experience for a day. Every day strangers go out of their way to do something kind for people they'll never meet again. Every day acts of kindness are performed that will go unrecognized and unrewarded. If the Shopping Cart Theory is true, then our society is pretty damn good because people always return the carts.

But you won't hear that on the news. Because the news both makes money and advances its social and political agenda by feeding us the worst of the world 24/7. So people who only consume the constant, never-ending newsfeed on TV and social media and in their schools actually think the world is, by default, what you see on CNN. And I don't know about you, but I'm very thankful that's not my world.

[steakout-05]

i might get some hate for this depending on where this post goes but i think lesboys are so valid and the discourse about them is so ridiculous. like you guys shouldn't have to deal with all that and it frustrates me that people throw hissy fits over an identity that literally does not affect them at all.

"but men cant be lesbians-" wrong. butch lesbians and trans men have a really closely connected history with each other that practically intersects and you should really do some research on that before you make blanket statements, not to mention that gender and sexuality is weird and wobbly and fluid and a very personal experience. it means a different thing to each person. being a man can be something completely different and saying stuff like this ignores people like demiboys, demigirls, genderfluid and genderflux people etc. these people will really preach "demolish the gender binary!! love is love!!" until someone's relationship with gender and sexuality is a little too freaky for them to handle and be challenged by lmaoo

"ohhh but what about the cishet men who say they're lesbians to prey on women-" YEAH WHAT ABOUT THEM????? THIS AIN'T ABOUT THEM BRO!!!!! this argument also REEKS of terfy "trans women are just predatory men!!!111!!1" rhetoric and it grosses me out. yeah some men are gross and do try to pull this but that does not negate someone's entire identity completely just because of a few bad actors, you know that right? actual black and white behaviour.

queer discourse is silly and i don't know why it's a thing. just let people exist. it isn't that hard. we have worse things to worry about than whether someone calls themselves a lesboy or not. i think we need to unplug our ears and yank our heads out of the sand and remember that the queer community is what it is because of our unique and amazing diversity. arguing over labels like school children isn't gonna help that. damn.

[wtfuglydemon]

pro-recovery this anti-recovery that

have you ever thought that people cant recover unless theyre willing to? unless they feel comfortable to? unless they feel like they are ready to?

not only that, ever thought that some things just arent able to be "cured" or recovered from? that our entire psyche system cant handle anything more complicated than a simple anxiety/depression? that if you have complicated disorders they will either shame you, make you feel like a monster and never help you directly but ask you to internalize your symptoms to not be a nuisance to others for the detriment of yourself? that, if they dont straight up drug you numb they will hospitalize you for something you have no fault on? Sometimes seeking for recovery can hurt you more than you already were and its why you can't unless youre willing and prepared to.

Being better with yourself isn't simple, sometimes recovery is having accomodations made to your problems that society simply does not give to others, it's different to all of us, mental health is not easy and straightforward and many make it up to be, this is extremely damaging and can make people hurt themselves, mentally and physically.

I've been abandoned, judged and seen as problematic for not seeking a doctor for myself and also being very open about my distaste for therapy, because i study it, i know how the system is flawed and systematically judgmental, classist, racist and misogynistic and the people in the field can be even worse, i warn people so they know if they are ready for a lot of trial and error, not to discourage them but to know that this is also a challenge you need to be mentally prepared for because otherwise it will leave you more hurt.

every journey to better your mental health is different, complicated, ugly and sometimes filled with hardships, boiling it down to "pro recovery and anti recovery" is to forget others who can't exactly recover, people's who recovery need systematic societal change, people like me with psychopathy who are seem as nothing but monsters who need to be purged from society, regardless if we have our own struggles and difficulties to deal with, its forgetting people in countries who don't have good mental health awareness, it is forgetting people who don't have financial conditions to afford help. No one is against others seeking help for your struggles but sometimes issues are not as simple as you deem them to be and the need to antagonize and "reclaim" their spaces is to negate hurting people of a space where they can be themselves and proud of who they are.

in the end what made me write this is how i am myself even with all my bad, self destructive and harmful behaviors and people like me exist and need a space safe for them to be themselves, it is why i found myself so drawn to the Jirai community, people "reclaiming" and trying to separate it from its roots is just bringing harm to a group of people who simply want to not feel alone with their struggles and be proud of who they are. You are not better than anyone from depriving those of a space for them, all you're doing is showing ignorance and disrespect for an entire group of suffering people.

[dootznbootz]

I know we love our morally gray characters. But the internet kinda ruined Circe for me.

Let me explain.

I remember I actually used to really like Circe's character when I first read the Odyssey last year. I loved her as a "helpful antagonist type" character.

But what ruined her character for me was everybody calling her a "girlboss" or just simping for her in a way? But they completely disregard the fact she technically raped a man. (But no one cares about that because male SA victims never get taken seriously, especially in media smh)

Now, I can never experience Circe as the same character because all I see is a terrible person being glorified because of her gender. And then people say double standards don't exist!

Which I hate cause she's a genuinely cool character. (From a writing standpoint)

Circe isn't a bad character let me be clear (in the Odyssey anyway. Cough cough Madeline Mil-) But I just hate how people romanticize her completely ignoring her terrible actions. And to think it's all just because she's a "hot badass female".

And this isn't just about Odysseus either, there's literally a myth where she tries to seduce a man, but when he remains faithful she turns him into a woodpecker-

People can like her CHARACTER, however, they should still acknowledge her bad actions too and hold her accountable. If we can all agree it's shitty what Zeus did to a bunch of women, we can also agree what Circe did to Odysseus was shitty.

Women sexually assaulting men is just as inhumane as vice versa and we have to stop turning a blind eye about it, even if it's fictional.

And I feel like people WOULD actually hold her accountable if she was a male character. Which makes me even more angry.

Maybe this is just a me thing, but I just can't fawn over a character and call them hot when they've done something as bad as some of the things Circe has done.

So, I guess what you could get out of this-

Please stop romanticizing circe.

Hold her accountable as you would any other character.

Don't be so forgiving just because you find her attractive.

Anyways, thank you for coming to my Ted talk and sorry for ranting

honestly yeah, all of this.

I sadly had to block Circe's tag on tumblr because it pisses me off how much people glorify her and/shittalk Odysseus with it. (I trust my friends when they have Circe content lol)

I love Circe as well. She's such an interesting and fun character but how people twist her just fucks with me so much. Also to make HER a victim just for girlbossness? What's so girlboss about having such a horrific thing happen to you?

I said it in a different post but you can thirst for Circe without making fun of her victim. People will call a victim of rape a manwhore or a slut as if what happened to him was a grand ol time. It's genuinely disturbing. He is shown to have PTSD from it (in my opinion) in the Odyssey. This book is ancient and yet it captures that better than anything I've read.

Odysseus isn't necessarily a wholesome, "goody-to-shoes" man. He does a lot of awful things. That doesn't mean that the suffering he went through is suddenly negated.

Even bringing up stuff with female characters, the fact that people will water them down so then they're not "problematic" pisses me off. Women can be horrible, even good women. Penelope is my fave but she's pretty awful in many ways.

Evidence will be right in front of people and they won't care. Crying, begging to go, fear, avoidance, numbness, etc. There'll be excuses anyway. "He's a guy, he's fine with it." "Men are sex crazed, especially back then." "He didn't try hard enough." "He should be grateful."

Honestly? What saddens me the most is that I don't think people will ever really understand what happened or even WANT to because they have their own idea in their head and refuse to see it for what it is. I mean Hades game did it too. It's really sad.

Circe and him weren't fwb. They weren't lovers. What about "heart full of grim forebodings" screams love? He wanted to save his friends and go home.

[another-dr-another]

toss {maedas burns} at {i know about whatever the coffee was laced with} bc the salve very much does fucking imply he knew what was in there bc he could TREAT it - annie

Maeda, narrating - Exactly!

Maeda - This is what Ōtori does- even when I make a point against him, he just ignores it, and tries to act like I didn’t give my evidence!

~*~

Maeda - No, that’s wrong!

Maeda - We do have evidence implying you knew more about the coffee!

Maeda - You knew how to treat it! You didn’t ask a question, or do anything- you just ran off to your room!

Ōtori - I have kitchen experience! I work with cleaning supplies all the time- I explained how the product works!

Taira - Elaborate?

Ōtori - It’s a new- new-ish product… it’s the over the counter version of a older product, that a chemist from Hope’s Peak made.

Ōtori - It neutralizes acidic chemicals- it works topically, to negate the existence of the acid on the skin, and it prevents further damage, enabling the body to start healing the burn instantly.

Ōtori - I was being optimistic- it was the best option we had, unless I wanted to go dig through the infirmary for ten minutes while Maeda rinsed his hand with water, if it was a severe burn.

Ōtori - I was banking on it being mild. Not because I knew it was, but because that was all I was equipped to handle.

Ōtori - …Taira, you can confirm this, right?

Taira - …

Taira - Is that all you think of me? Just someone who knows about cleaning?

Ōtori - N-No!

Taira - …It’s fine.

Taira - Anyways, what is it you want me to confirm?

Ōtori - …A lot of cleaning agents can quickly become acidic compounds. And when you have contact with a chemical, it’s easy for the burn to be serious.

Taira - …Yes, that’s correct.

Ōtori - See?

Ōtori - I run a team. I manage teams across the country. I make sure that corners aren’t cut, and people are cared for.

Ōtori - I take care of the people I’m responsible for. I helped a classmate with the knowledge I had, and a product I had my faith in.

Ōtori - That’s all that it was.

Maeda - …

Maeda - Taira vouched for him…

Maeda - I… am having a hard time poking a hole in that argument-

Maki - So what!

Ōtori - …Huh?

Maki - So what if you had reason to know about chemical burns- it doesn’t make you innocent!

Maki - It doesn’t change any of the other evidence we have- all you’ve done is offer an alternative theory for one of our arguments.

Maki - You didn’t clear your name.

Ōtori - …

Ōtori - …What… would I need to do? To convince you, I mean.

Ōtori - I can’t argue that I wasn’t in the kitchen, and I can’t argue that I didn’t mention that.

Ōtori - Kobashikawa also didn’t mention he was in the kitchen, and I wasn’t the person left alone in the kitchen. 

Ōtori - What do I need to do for you to consider that it wasn’t me?

Maki - …

Maeda - …Fuck. I thought she had it.

Maki - …

Maeda - …Why did you tell me not to tell Tsurugi about my injury!?

Ōtori - So he wouldn’t get biased, and could investigate with a clear mind.

Maeda - …Fuck! I thought I had him!

Maki - …

Maki - I’m not letting you do this.

Maki - It’s too many coincidences, too many… weird moments.

Maki - Even if you have every excuse in the book- until someone has a better explanation, or you can disprove our theory- you’re suspect number one!

Ōtori - …

Ōtori - It’s stubborn, to never change your mind…

Maki - …It’s fucked up, to murder someone!!!

Ōtori - !!!

Ōtori - …

Ōtori - …Whatever.

Maeda - …

Maeda - …What does everyone think?

//He glances around the courtroom. No one meets his eyes.

Maeda - …

Taira - …It’s definitely the best solution we have-

Taira - But, I think we need to explore Higa’s case now. Use this as our framework, sure…

Taira - But if there’s less evidence for Higa’s case, isn’t that a good thing? Since Tsurugi can always solve the case, that should mean it’s simple…

Taira - …Right, Tsurugi?

Tsurugi - …Ah, uhm…

Tsurugi - I don’t know. I’m not really paying attention right now.

Maeda - …Really?

Tsurugi - Mhm. I’m daydreaming… come get me if you’re thinking about voting.

Maeda - …Concerning myself with Tsurugi feels like a waste of time.

Maeda - Alright, then…

Tomori - …I think I agree with Taira. It may just be best to come back to this… the evidence does point to Ōtori, just… not definitely enough for us to vote right now.

Hatano - …No.

Hatano - No, it has to be Ōtori.

Hatano - Doesn’t everything make sense, if it was him? He was saying all that shit at the start of the trial, he wouldn’t let me see her…

Hatano - It was him. I know it was.

Uehara - Mm… is that enough to vote on?

Maeda - Wh-Who said anything about voting?

Maeda - Maybe we should turn to Higa’s case…

Maeda - I’m upset everyone isn’t convinced… but it’s not like I can come up with another argument.

Uehara - I mean, I’m just saying…

Uehara - Is there evidence we haven’t gone over?

Maeda - Well…

Maeda - Nothing that Ōtori hasn’t had a counter for…

Maeda - …

Maeda - But, there has to be something we’re overseeing!

Ōtori - …

Ōtori - There’s nothing else. Nothing we could go over, or argue about… unless we find something while discussing Higa’s case.

Ōtori - Which, I’m sure we will- there has to be a solution… just, not one down this line of thought.

Maeda - …No- there is something we haven’t discussed yet.

Maeda - That’s wrong!

Maeda - There’s more for us to talk about… 

Ōtori - …

//Ōtori looks at Maeda- understanding flashes across his face. They’re on the same page.

Maki - …What else do we have?

Ōtori - …No. There’s nothing. Any more evidence we pull up will just prove my innocence.

Maeda - Like hell if I’m believing what you say! 

Maeda - Ōtori’s testimony is unreliable… but when it comes to understanding what happened last night-

Maeda - You’re trying to hide what you’ve done- there has to be a reason for it!

Ōtori - I mean… if you’re so set on finishing this now…

Maeda - We should have enough evidence to convict Ōtori- if Kobashikawa will share the full truth of what he knows!

Taira - Get on with it- what else can we debate on?

Ōtori - …Kobashikawa?

//Kobashikawa looks up- but not at Ōtori.

Ōtori - …Mind testifying? 

Kobashikawa - …

Maeda - …

Maeda -You’re stupid! Stupid for every way you’ve tried to deny this, and stupid for calling on Kobashikawa!

Maeda - I’m sure whatever he knows, it won’t prove your innocence- it’ll make it irrefutable that you’re the blackened!

Ōtori - Y-You don’t know what you’re talking about!

Maeda - …Kobashikawa?

Kobashikawa - …

//He’s been looking back and forth between them- only now making eye contact with Maeda.

Maeda - …What matters is that you tell the truth. That’s the most important thing you can do now- we need an answer, whatever it is. It’s your testimony that’ll get us there.

Ōtori - …You know what happened. Even if you didn’t witness anything… this goes beyond last night, right? Can’t you use that to explain?

Kobashikawa - …

Ōtori - …

Maeda - …

Tug-of-Testimony: START!

Kobashikawa! Is Ōtori the blackened?

Ōtori - That’s crazy!

Ōtori - I wouldn’t have tried to poison anyone- it doesn’t make any logical sense to say I caused Iranami’s death,

Ōtori - But if I did want to, why would I make poisoned coffee, just before everyone went to bed, when less than half the class was in the dining hall!

Ōtori - I’m always making food for everyone, and I never did anything then!

Ōtori - But, that’s something you all know- if that’s not good enough, listen to what Kobashikawa says!

Ōtori - I have a lot of medical stuff in my room, I know about treating injuries!

Ōtori - I had a hard time falling asleep last night, and I don’t talk a lot when I’m tired. 

Ōtori - Kobashikawa, you know this! And you know I wouldn’t try to kill someone… right?

BREAK!

Kobashikawa - …

//He seems conflicted… he’s messing with his goggles, and doing little else. It doesn’t seem like he’s ready to say anything.

Maeda - I know there’s something about Ōtori that Kobashikawa’s keeping secret for him.

Maeda - I need to make my case and encourage him to testify, before he loses his nerve!

TUG!

Maeda - Don’t say it like that, like you know what he’ll say!

Maeda - Kobashikawa’s been pulling away from you, hasn’t he?

Maeda - Last night, there was totally something driving that pillow fight, wasn’t there?

Maeda - And- before that!

Maeda - In the Rec room, you both were being totally weird! All of a sudden, you weren’t getting along!

Maeda - There’s something going on- something that happened between you two, that’s caused you to not get along…

Maeda - The fact you’re acting like it didn’t happen is incriminating!

BREAK!

Ōtori - Again- this is all just conjecture! It’s circumstantial!

Ōtori - One spat doesn’t mean he’s going to accuse me of murder- it’s his life on the line, he wouldn’t throw that down to spite me over something petty.

Ōtori - Kobashikawa, tell him!

~*~

Maeda, narrating - No!

Maeda - Something happened between them… and with how Ōtori’s denying it, I’m starting to think it may be related to the case…

Maeda - I have to prove it definitively!

Maeda - If I can make it obvious to everyone that something happened, Kobashikawa will recognize that he should just explain, instead of keeping Ōtori’s secret… I hope.

{Make Your Argument!}

//Note: New Minigame! Tug of Testimony happens infrequently- a bit of an inverse Rebuttal Showdown, this minigame appears when a student has information, but isn’t willing to share it. Maeda and his opponent will both give their case, arguing for the witness to either testify, or stay silent. But, with so much going on, it’s easy for details to slip Maeda’s mind. This is where you’ll step in- there’s another incident which shows that Kobashikawa knows more than he’s said! Maeda pointed out some occurrences which haven’t been pointed out so explicitly, but there’s one moment he hasn’t brought up. Play-pretend as Maeda for a moment- and tell Ōtori the last thing that tipped you off!

[kamorth]

Just as an intro, yes this post reads VERY white. Unfortunately a lot of recent history is only accessible through white lenses and as I myself am about as white as it is possible to be, I don't have another viewpoint that I can write from with any kind of authority. My lack of experience does not negate anyone else's experiences or views.

In the 80s, being punk was how you showed disdain for conformity. NO, I DON'T Want to be Like You THE WOLRD IS SHITTY AND I AM ANGRY. They were the trash that you warned your kids to stay away from because they were dangerous and violent.

Grunge quickly followed suit with Yeah the world is shitty why do what the boring conformist bougies tell you when you can just do your own thing over here instead. They were the trash you hoped your kids got sick of but the worst parents ever suspected of them was maybe a bit of weed and some clumsy make outs, not that big a deal.

In the late 90s (my teens) it was goths. We are so sick of you and your church and shoving it down my throat with pushing for prayer in schools and Christian Pop Rock all over the billboard top 40. That kid is a witch now and You JUST Don't Get It. Depression is my baseline and the idea of being like you is the cause. We were the trash that were just indulging in a phase and would grow out of it, so we could be humored but mostly ignored (unless your parents were hard core Bible bashers, in which case you would get sent to something akin to conversion therapy - since you were also probably Queer it often was just outright conversion therapy).

Then the emos showed up and people started getting annoyed, partly because suddenly there were goths that you COULDN'T ignore for two reasons, they were LOUD about being sad and THERE WERE SO MANY OF THEM. Since they couldn't be ignored out of existence, the Western world decided to collectively bully them instead. They were the trash that was Just So Damn Cringe!

And now poverty is skyrocketing. Homelessness is a plague that has struck so many people who have committed no crime outside of bad luck. Actual fascists are in positions of power. Planned obsolescence and decades of lobbying by the oil industry in favour of petrol and plastics is destroying everything beautiful about this planet.

And Punk is back. Be ANGRY at your politicians who don't listen. Let your anger be heard so that they know you will not accept these ideas. Grunge is back. It doesn't have to be new, it just has to be functional. Work together to make a community you WANT to live in. Goth is back. Mourn for the world we were promised but never saw. Learn about belief systems that are different to the one you were raised in, ESPECIALLY if doing so pisses off your parents. Emo is back. Fuck haters. Cringe is dead. Being comfortable in your own skin means being allowed to do what YOU want, not having to exist for the benefit of someone else.

Before us it was hippies and beatniks and flappers and dadaists and before them there were the coffee shop philosophers and the point is there have ALWAYS been people who want the world to see its own flaws and fix them. I know other cultures had the same sorts of groups, like the Japanese Subekan gangs (who created the original lolita fashion trend as a way to take femininity back from being sexualized) and Islamic Sufism (an Islamic sect who practice things forbidden by stricter groups, such as singing and dancing) but I'm an armchair scholar, not an expert.

When society is broken, our numbers surge.

We are surging.

Society needs us.

[anendoandfriendo]

Seriously though people do not know what it is like to be Autistic.

As in, it IS fun and cute and quirky for us. It also means we're working two jobs at once and are constantly at our fucking limit for anything that isn't strictly being in our bed fucking around with our stuff. A neighbor knocked on our door just now and gave us FOOD! For FREE! The fruit is going to rot in the next few weeks if he doesn't give it away because he has so much of it! And this one interaction basically has made it so we went back and promptly sat down on our bed again in exhaustion, after doing a people-oriented job in product support, and we never never get a day off because our "day off" work working fucking retail at walmart. We do not get enough hours recover much less enough days and it will start causing actual physical fatigue no matter how much we like our job.

Now, like. If we successfully survive our promotion then we can just quit walmart and we won't have to worry about that, but like ????????

Nobody talks about Autistics who don't mask, never did mask, and never felt the desire to mask but they still could mask. Like. People talk about it like it's a privilege but it's more like a double-edged sword. It's fucking stupid to us, pardon the ableist language there — but it's like everyone fucking assumes that masking one's autism is a fundamental part of the Autistic experience. And that is bullshit not because we are trying to dismiss something that has obviously, very tragically, touched so many Autistic people, but it's just assumed by default that masking 100% of the time is a thing everyone who is Autistic does, and if they do not, it's because the do not know how. That's simply not true because for as long as there is an Autistic person alive that is not like that, and does not fit that narrative, it is not a universal experience.

Welp, good thing we are several of those in a trenchcoat!!!

No, like, what we do as hardline no-mask Autistics is use our massive fucking energy reservoirs to go on and on for months and months before we have a full fucking breakdown. We actually would not be surprised if the present-day folks who we say are just "quirky" were literally just the same iteration of this post about autsitic boomer optics by @echofromtheabyss but we all ignore that it still happens because, like, everyone assumes everything that is about identity is either:

Medical

Medical but sure I'll go with your spirituality for funsies

Spirituality

From trauma

Secretly from trauma but I'll go with your theory for funsies

No matter which category it is, it is always officially-sanctioned by whatever hell government you currently belong to and MUST have an explanation that is rooted in pain, or suffering, strict categories of function and dysfunction to the point we reinvented (in our personal opinions) the same LF/HF labels but decided to call them support labels instead of just. Stating what the individuals need.

And not like, we dunno, maybe there isn't always something to medicalize here 100% of the time, and maybe we're really off the ball here but we REALLY need to reclaim the idea of non-disordered autism back from those asshole aspie supremacists. Like. Stop letting them ruin everything! Just because our issue is no social supports does not negate that some Autistic people will always need caregivers 24 hours of the day does not negate someone whose main problem is wandering off randomly/elopement does not negate the Autistic who is usually perfectly fine but actually does have the communication issues defined in the disorder in the DSM does not negate the savant dies not negate the manic pixie girl like — how did we all learn this for everything else but not for neurotypes?

Like, the past was shit for Autistic people but so is the present and we think that like, our generation was onto something but so were other generations even if the words did not exist yet.

Wdk, we know a lotta this is more loosely structured than we would personally like as well but HOPEFULLY something about our point will make sense to SOMEONE.

We're really just sick of "autism isn't just a cute and quirky thing!!!" okay and...so what if it was. So what. We were confirmed as autistic when we were two and we are telling you so what. We just. We have a very hard time caring because we sincerely believe cute/quirky girls and somewhat isolated strange boys who are quiet and slowish but very very smart and highly sensitive people are often what you get when autism is non-disordered.

We don't. We don't know what else to say. There is an in-between or blurring of the lines here that everyone is missing the same way there is an in-between or blurring of the lines when it comes to guesses on why plurality and/or multiplicity exist and the same way there is an in-between or blurring of the lines when we talk about the queer community. If we tried to summarize more than that it wouldn't be doing this justice because the point here is to ultimately expand our (Rusanya, us, not necessarily Random Tumblr User ImAnAsshole69420 who happens to be reading this post) idea of autism we guess. Or to at least synthesize something we've been thinking about for years in a somewhat more clear fashion than we have before.

[nikkisticki]

I'm pretty sure I was one of those people who thought at first that Scott dating Knives was okay

I've assumed that because it's a good comic that automatically means it teaches good values too, the correct values.

If he's 23/24 and she's 17 then the age gap technically isn't that bad, and the opinion that they should be together was being presented by someone with far more "normality" then anyone who disagrees and stands for the opposite might be... wrong.

I only changed my opinion when I've heard that this was supposed to be a wrong thing to believe.

It's weird isn't it?

In a hypothetical situation where a twelve year old dates a fifteen year old... that's bad, because as a twelve year old you're nothing more than a kid and a fifteen year old is... a bit more brass? surely way more aware about the state of the world, bitter

a fifteen year old is way more emotionally developed than a twelve year old

...which must mean... relationship difficulties? instability? wait no ... there must be a better conclusion I just have to keep on thinking about it... I know that is it objectively WRONG because that's what everyone around me SAYS, but WHY?

wouldn't work out... kid and their superior...

I remember when my twelve year old classmate used to date a fifteen year old guy

I remember that being her decidion

I remember not thinking much about it other than that she is out there, fulfilling her own sense of understanding over what she wants from this world...

My mom criticized it.

Is there a way to be wrong about this... surely yeah...

I'll be honest I've spoken to a person my age who said something along the lines of our forty something married hostel caretaker having dilf energy I dunno

Are you trying to tell me that is NOT just teenage culture and an actual problem right now or something

I mean she's never getting her hands on him either way

I have no clue how a 23/22 year old sees this world I am not that old yet

Okay okay so the way this should be understood would be.

How do you think critically of things again...

WHAT is the problem?--- it must be the difference between emotional states, and development.

WHEN is it a problem? ...when people hurt each other?

you wouldn't expect someone younger than you to be a co-parent so why would you expect them to be your partner.

and since romantic attraction of any kind is built on ideas of trust and equality

that makes one party have a difference over the other

a noticable, off-putting difference.

But IS it a problem?

It's a problem, one that many people blatanly IGNORE are pursue those kinds of relationships anyway

Doesn't that by itself negate the problem? or does it co-exist with it?

upperclassman are just dicks who put you down the second school's over aren't they?

I hear advice bout not datin upperclassman cause they always dump you

it can't be right can it? nothing could ever justify it as alright, but by the way that everyone is doing it even though it's a bad idea...

it's normal for THEM.

who the fuck invented that??

There's actually a lot of questions you're asking that don't really play to the game, as it were. The issue with a 17/23 gap is mostly that one of these people is on the final stretch of mental development, while the other is still trying to learn Pythagoras theory and go to the prom.

The points being in the narrative aren't immediately as blunt as some people required (I hadn't really considered the issue until my second reading) but part of the point is that Scott is subconsciously aware of his own mistake, which is why he's not actually trying to take advantage of her as much as he clearly could. He's being a problem but he's not intentionally malicious.

I think if you're this thoughtful on the subject you should go read into the distinct differences between various age groups, because 12/15 isn't as significant as 17/23, but if you're younger you'll start to figure it out as you get older considering your clear desire to question things.

I can't really give you the best advice on this except you should try to form paragraphs that are 3-8 sentences long and keep a flowing point over the paragraph that embodies your point

here have a cat pic

[salsa-and-light]

"For those still thinking that you can be pro-LGBTQ or a gay Christian and still be a bible believing Christian, you literally can't."

I love this game, it's like the opposite of hide and seek,

I get to jump up and down in your field of vision and you get to cover your eyes and pretend I'm not there.. ah.. good times.

We have fun

"You're either one or the other; not both. Homosexuality is still a sin."

Both of those statement are false ..however- even if they were true these statements do not support one another as you seem to believe.

In what way does the presence of sin negate faith or salvation?

I rather thought that the presence of sin was the prerequisite for our faith.

"It[homosexuality] doesn't lead to any amount of human flourishing. Doesn't contribute to the 'survival of the fittest' or any other materialistic naturalistic arguments that could be cropped up."

So this is just entirely made up. You could not possibly know this.

I don't get why some people collect commemorative plates and spoons, but that's not my business; who am I to say what benefit it holds for human flourishing⸮

If you're idea of human flourishing is really so limited then I'd suggest that you get out more. Maybe you could.. I don't know.. -talk to a Queer person‽

..

As for "survival of the fittest" either Queer people do contribute to group survival or survival of the fittest isn't actually that good at weeding out bad genetic stock.

Either way, you don't have to be a dick about it. I don't go up to someone who's infertile and tell them that they're a genetic dead-end and a moral abomination.

"Sin is still sin regardless if its accepted in the society or not."

Sure, but Love is not a sin.

"Do I hate lgbtq folk?"

Perhaps, who knows, better yet who cares-

I don't really care about your precious feelings or what secrets you're hiding in your heart of hearts right now.

Because the far more pressing issue is that you're being a hypocrite, misrepresenting our faith and the Love of God and you're hurting people.

Why you should care more about your feelings being validated than the harm you're inflicting is beyond me.

Trying to shift focus from your actions to your ""intentions"" is just a form of narcissism; because you already know how your behavior negatively affects people and you do it anyways. So you retreat to the supposed purity of your intentions as a form of moral validation.

It's a distraction, it's self-soothing.

You don't get credit for knowingly doing heinous things without showing any obvious signs of disdain.

"but I know people will call me every evil name under the sun because I point out that they live in sin which so happens to be apart of their identity."

"Their Identity", says the person actively giving them that identity.

It's not just a facet of a person to you it's their entire being, you see Queer people as fundamentally separate, which is why you're able to make such boneheaded comments like "You can't be gay and Christian".

Sorry a "Bible-believing Christian" which is just a No True Scotsman hiding behind a technicality.

The Bible means whatever you say it means, and anyone who disagrees with you is wrong, that is the fundamental presumption of your comments; or at least it would be if your empathy stretched far enough to consider that you’d disagree on something with anyone who's ever believed the Bible.

"Ergo, that makes me look like I hate the person. But I don't!"

Back to you and your "intentions" I guess.

Have you ever heard the phrase "If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck..."?

"I just see sin and call it as it is."

That's a lie.

Because every Christian sins, you however imagine the mere existence of Queer people to be aberrant. You do not see Queer people as full and equal human souls with the same abilities that you have.

Being Queer is something that suffuses our entire being to you, it can never be ignored unless it is entirely excised.

To you this is a sin that is beyond the grace of God.

Which is probably why you don't know much about Queer people.

Never mind how it's not a sin in the first place and your opinion is folk tradition more than anything else.

"Do I struggle with sin in my own life? Of course, all Christians still struggle with our out of place desires and selfish quirks but we fight."

This is just further confirmation that you lied before, all Christians sin.. unless the "sin" is gay, in which case grace is retracted.

That's a heresy, if you care.

"But at the end of the day, you gotta love one or the hate the other. Which one will you choose? Hint: it's not both."

How obnoxious. How tacky.

I choose both, darling. Both.

Contrary to what your tone implies, you are not the arbiter of truth here.

I believe in a God of Love and that I have a moral responsibility to Love. I, like anyone else, am imperfect and I make many transgressions against the cause of Love, for which God has mercifully promised grace..

But why should I limit my Love, why should I limit my ability to do good in this world⸮

For the comfort of fearful minds⸮

For your sexist morality⸮

I think not.

I've been harsh here, but I bear you no malice. My sincere hope is that you will grow and become more able to fulfill your moral obligations as a follower of Christ. Love is our greatest commandment I think we should try to act like it.

I don't know how likely that is given that you've made it through decades of Queer liberation efforts without learning much, but that's not my business, it's between you and the almighty.

But I will tell you, plainly and explicitly: your prejudice is ignorant, it is harmful and it is unloving. It lacks charity and nuance.

I wish your moral improvement, but I have no intention of guarding you from consequences or enabling your sin at the expense of the innocent; nor I doubt, will many others care to.

So I will also tell you now that if you can not grow then you should not expect to be well liked; and it won't be you nobly suffering for Christ, it will be you suffering from your own stubbornness and pride.

If you were asking for advice, which you aren't, I might suggest you take these concerns to God in prayer.

If this is really about God's will then it wouldn't hurt to check-in once in a while.

Godspeed.

For those still thinking that you can be pro-LGBTQ or a gay Christian and still be a bible believing Christian, you literally can't.

You're either one or the other; not both. Homosexuality is still a sin. It doesn't lead to any amount of human flourishing. Doesn't contribute to the 'survival of the fittest' or any other materialistic naturalistic arguments that could be cropped up.

Sin is still sin regardless if its accepted in the society or not. Do I hate lgbtq folk? Nope, but I know people will call me every evil name under the sun because I point out that they live in sin which so happens to be apart of their identity. Ergo, that makes me look like I hate the person. But I don't!

I just see sin and call it as it is. Do I struggle with sin in my own life? Of course, all Christians still struggle with our out of place desires and selfish quirks but we fight. Not by our own strength but by the strength of God Himself; we do not have the power to resist sin on our own. Even in our own sanctification depends on the Spirit of God; not us.

But at the end of the day, you gotta love one or the hate the other. Which one will you choose? Hint: it's not both.

[soul-dwelling]

This is probably the most pendatic and stupidest "canon" or "lore" question, maybe even showing why this kind of "discourse" is just semantics, but here we go:

Do you consider that the Soul Eater anime is also connected to fireforce. And I dont mean if ff anime will lead to the soul eater anime (oh my God why...) but just if it was an adaption of the manga, even if it went it own way, if we should consider details that technically came before "timeline" wise as being valid if they dont contradict anything.

It’s not at all stupid. And this is a blog nitpicking the tiniest details of Soul Eater: it’d be nearly impossible to talk about this stuff without being pedantic. 

To paraphrase what I said in another post, if there is nothing in the first Soul Eater anime that depends on a piece of information in Fire Force for it to make sense to the story, then Fire Force can be ignored as canon to the first Soul Eater anime. And just because Fire Force explains something in Soul Eater doesn’t necessarily make it required reading or watching to understand Soul Eater. But as you also say, yes, if something happens in Fire Force that doesn’t contradict something in the first Soul Eater manga, then it can be considered valid and considered as canon. 

(Granted, as I’ll say at the bottom below, I think there is enough in the first Soul Eater anime and at least the Fire Force anime that contradict each other and puts them into different timelines.)

Some of this just owes to luck: the first Soul Eater anime is pretty self-contained and, even if a lot of us don’t like aspects of the final episode, it does wrap up its story. And more luck: Fire Force wasn’t released yet, so there was no pressure at the time the first Soul Eater anime was out to have to link it to another work. If a new Soul Eater anime comes out, then yeah, that one is now stuck having to be connected to Fire Force (another reason why I get pissy over any potential for an anime reboot). 

To go back to what I said, that there is nothing in the first Soul Eater anime that depends on a piece of information in Fire Force for it to make sense to the story: I don’t mean “Fire Force explains the origins of Excalibur so you have to read that or watch that to understand Excalibur in the first Soul Eater anime”--that explains an origin, but that doesn’t suddenly change the content of the first Soul Eater anime. You can still follow the story and don’t need to engage with an entirely different work to fill in that detail. 

That’s not even getting into that the first anime leaned pretty hard in the direction that Arthur Pendragon existed, that the timeline of the anime is more similar to our real world, or at least a fictionalized version where the [very likely] fictional Arthur Pendragon exists, thereby negating the revelation in Fire Force that it was actually Arthur Boyle who wielded Excalibur.  Yes, you could say that Excalibur wrote his own story in the Soul Eater anime so we shouldn’t accept what he says about Pendragon as real and that Boyle may indeed still exist in the first anime--but there is nothing to say that it has to be Boyle in the anime either. Yes, you could point out that Excalibur also brought up a fictional character like Sherlock Holmes, so we should treat Pendragon as fictional--but this is also a series where somehow Excalibur was able to interact with Holmes on a movie screen, and a story where fictional characters like Lupin and historically dead people like Rasputin, Al Capone, and Jack the Ripper show up, so realism is not essential here, just believability. 

This is my point: Fire Force doesn’t suddenly become the one and only explanation for stuff in the first Soul Eater anime. It is one explanation, but you can ignore it. Now, if they make more episodes within that first anime timeline, and those episodes specifically refer to stuff in Fire Force, then at least those new episodes are now definitely connected to Fire Force, and I would find it too difficult to start insisting, “Well, these new episodes aren’t in canon with the old episodes”--that’s silly, I can’t waste my time on that. 

(And as I hinted above: there are enough other small details that screw up putting both the first Soul Eater anime and the Fire Force anime into the same continuity and timeline. It’s one thing for someone who is similar to Spirit popping up at the cabaret Assault visits in the Fire Force manga, talking about his daughter; it’s another thing when they bring back Spirit’s actor and has him name Maka explicitly in the anime version of Fire Force. There is all the Arthur Pendragon and Arthur Boyle stuff between the two anime. And then there are the Excalibur plushies and Shinra’s Excalibur face towards Burns showing up in the Fire Force anime, when by whatever passes for logic in this franchise, neither of those should exist yet because Excalibur hasn't come into his Soul Eater incarnation yet.)

[umflowers]

hello my dear, i truly hope everything is perfectly alright with you ❤️ feel free to not answer and ignore this if you want to

it's been sometime since I've been feeling so bad about my own writing, it's like I've been bullying myself over this... thinking about how pathetic my writing and and I'm silly for writing fanfic

well, how can I overcome this? I'm asking particularly you because you're one of the warmest people here, who certainly know how to bring comfort to anyone 🥺

i hope this doesn't makes you uncomfortable or anything! I'm sorry in advance if it does bother you

why hello, my lovely! i hope the same for you! :3 firstly, you're very sweet for saying that and i appreciate it 🥺 if i may ask, and i'm not trying to intrude, has something else got you down lately? sometimes when i'm upset about something else, it crowds my mind and just pollutes every thought i have about myself and everything that i do. you deserve much more than that, to be kind to yourself even when life is being cruel <3 i'm not 100% sure what aspect of writing is bothering you, so i'll just address a couple common causes: i know this is cliche, but try to remember that writing, and all hobbies, just aren't a contest. you don't have to be "good enough" to do them. they're meant to bring you joy! joy is something you very much deserve. this is something i struggle with too, believe me - you should see my knitting oh my god, and sometimes i get down about it, but if it's a good day and i can perk myself up, i just remind myself that the more i do it the better i'll get and get back to it, or if it's a bad day i set it aside and just do something else. there's no deadline, i don't owe knitting to anyone, just like you don't owe your writing to anyone! it's okay to set it aside until you can feel good about it again. nothing in life is worth you beating yourself up over. (and, let's be honest, we're all our own worst critics and our brains are usually full of shit and we're doing just fine.) also? i bet your writing brings joy to others (if you share it)! you don't owe writing to anyone, but since you're putting it out there anyway, you're brightening up the days of other people and that's just. such a cool fuckin' feeling, lbr. sometimes helping people is taking food to a homeless shelter, sometimes it's giving another person having a rough day a story that makes them smile or makes them feel something or distracts them. and even if you don't share it, if you're trying to write it, it's clearly something you want out of your head and onto paper/screen so you can read it, and even if it's just making you feel something, that's important too! if it's just the very idea of writing fanfiction that's got you down, please don't 🥺 the idea that enjoying fandom and writing fic should be limited to certain people is unfortunately invading our spaces, but it's just frankly untrue and ridiculous. fandom exists for everyone and there's no age you turn that negates your right to be happy and create and enjoy things. you're obviously a sweet person - you wouldn't point at someone else and say "you! you're pathetic for writing fanfic! stop that!" and you'd think anyone who did was cruel, so don't do those things to yourself <3 you certainly haven't upset me, love c: i'm sorry if this hasn't been of any help, or didn't address your problem - you can always send another ask or even fall into my inbox with an "oh god okay so here's the problem" and we'll hash it out 😊

[the-firebird69]

And it's a myriad of things happening and it is confusing one is Tommy f is out of control and it's not going to handle it the second is the warlocks are not going to get a handle on it and just might realize that and like some like bjA realized that the kaiju or killing them off. And that's not the only reason it's because it's a plan and it's a main plan and he doesn't realize it's doing it no I think that he is probably got an idea that it could be happening and it will it will expose aliens and briefly but for real and it is part of a master plan of the max and others who brought into it and he's singing the song because he knows he was going in and he sang with acapella before the saga begin and he was already collecting ships and it negates what time he f is doing who did not do very well he did some proofs but hardly anything for the public because he has been in seclusion for so long and they said in the movie and he is the recluse mobster and it's a movie called tunes he comes out of seclusion and all he does is some strange cartoon fighting and it's not what people need it's saying that they're not real when they are and he didn't watch it he wants to own it and run it all and people are saying that's not fair and a great expense argue their point and pretty much almost gave up and Jason stood up and said I can't take it anymore and he knows what he's doing and he might not make anything but he wants people to know what he's doing and he put a dress on his bed when he left the first time at Castle and he paid me back for food he took and I understood he needed it but I need to and I'm trying things. So there you goes he's doing a job that ghwp would take and do and it's that level.

Zues

I commend my husband for saying this and though we have angles that might be different or same different we are doing this on purpose too a little bit and it's a parallel but nobody was doing it but you simply must and if you all become greedy assholes and kill each other then what's the point of you living anyways and we've seen you team up and everything else

Hera

Respected for doing it Jason and we know that you activate the animal side and you and fired up your greed to get it done but wow this is going to be intense I have never seen anything like this in my life and I know what it's talking about cuz I've seen some of them running around it's certainly don't look human and your people are suffering so I see what you're saying you're doing it on purpose and your signs of the house in Port Charlotte and I was there and I saw him doing it and your friend here saw it and he's mentioning it because you deserve recognition for it and Trump we don't know what you're doing you're ignoring everything saying nothing exists and you're being a huge a****** to everybody and you're practically harming our friend here everyday over and over because you're saying you caused it all and it's not true at all we need you to shut up

Daniel

I started a fight with Tommy f and I got my ass kicked and it started a while ago and he won't let me do anything at all and I can't stand it anymore and people are beating on me cuz I'm being unfair that's true what time the answer was pushing me all over the place and he doesn't have it and he never did and I don't think he even knows about aliens he's going to be shocked as s*** and so am I cuz I don't get it either

Trump

No s*** you're stupid you see us mutate you see his retail like madness for the most part and changing some that doesn't look human and you can't think oh maybe it would stick like when we became humans from primates I mean good Lord and these are the people that did it get the f*** out of my face lady he says all the time and is acting like one of us it makes people confused it's supposed to but you're an idiot I mean go get a shark you think a shark is a person always the animals come to your house and you can't figure it out

Sarah

That was one hell of a toad I'd tell your toes like just a sick frog and that guy was juiced up LOL jumps right at him and pissed all over the place I can see it on video almost right into him too he talked a little to the right just in case he was peeing I think she's stupid idiot it looked over some moving but really what an idiot there right there that's what I have to fight

Hera

I'll explain this he jumps right by you in order to confuse you and make it so you're not ready to do anything it's kind of a weird reaction and some animals are programmed to it does feel predators off sometimes cuz I think they might have something or they're sick or and that's what they think and yeah he's sick I think that could be it it's kind of weird he seen the toad before. This jackass is banging around next door and Jason saw what he was destroying and he's breaking the place again and Stan got the Note and he's going to court tomorrow that might explain him being out of here lol

Thor Freya

Lol

Stan

Yeh yeh no no it's all this other stuff like Monday

Sherry

[incorrectmahabharatquotes]

"What does this even mean," you ask? Here's a short and not at all complete list of the different ways even the most well-meaning people on Hindublr and Desiblr will push back against anti-caste discussions:

1. Placing OVER-EMPHASIS on the scriptural ideology of the caste system rather than the experiential dimensions (the ground level, material reality) of people's lives within the caste hierarchy. People will give lectures here about how the varna system was Supposed to be fluid and your Actions determine your caste. This would be all fine if this was the jumping off point for any deeper discussion but it's really not. This is just how the conversation is closed. It gives all focus to a few texts which were written and codified by biased savarna views to begin with and consequently, drowns out all dalit and adivasi voices. Ultimately, it upholds the status quo and provides nothing of value to the conversation.

2. Either obfuscating caste distinctions in favour of class distinctions OR jumbling the two together in unproductive ways. This is how you get those anecdotes of "my rich SC/ST friend who has [insert any number] of cars and a big house and is therefore clearly not disadvantaged enough by their caste status". Caste and Class are two different ways of classifying social hierarchies. These two distinctions do interact and fuse together in India in a unique way, but we must still understand them in their specific contexts. Class is closely related to caste dynamics in India (see: how the majority of upper and middle class Indians are also overwhelmingly "upper caste"), though it doesn't mean your class can negate all advantages/disadvantages thrust on you by your place in the caste hierarchy.

3. The Myth of the Meritocracy. One extremely common and normalised form of pushback against anti-caste policy is crying about how the system of reservation can be blamed for the breakdown of the meritocracy of the country. These people will, again, ignore the fact that in the last decade all sectors have been privatised to hell and back and thus aren't beholden to abide by the reservation rules. But whatever, let's say we ignore the ground level reality yet again, can we truly say that our country was ever a meritocracy to begin with? What is merit anyway? Like say, these college entrance exams for example. People like to say that the people who got in in the general category are the meritorious ones because they got in because of their marks and they were the best of the best. When we see these students who got into the colleges in the general category. The overwhelming majority of these students are upper caste. In contrast, upper castes make up about less than 20% of our country's population. In a society, if the "playing-field" was level we would see that the representation of upper castes would be proportional to what the population is. But that's not the case, is it? Is it the case that upper castes are just naturally more intellectual or whatever? Or are there maybe systematic factors that are giving them advantages over others? If these systemic factors exist, then we can't really say that it's solely about merit then, can we? I will ask again. What is merit? Is having "merit" then just being savarna? Is this the fair and just system we are asked to idealise?

4. Tokenizing. This one is pretty obvious. "This [insert famous person] is in a position power, hence it proves that casteism is over and we don't need to talk about it any more." OR my favourite specific version of this recently "Our prime minister/president is OBC/ST(respectively) hence casteism is over and ALSO if you criticise them, you're the casteist one actually." What? What are you people talking about at this point? How have you lost the plot this bad?

5. Deliberate misunderstanding of terms like "brahminical social structures" and calling anti-caste activists and scholars "anti-hindu". Do I even need to explain this one? I've seen people say that it's hating on Brahmins specifically to complain about being forced to live in the brahminical social structure. It's not. I'm complaining about Patrilineal succession/Wealth distribution/endogamous Marriage/Restricted female mobility/the Gender hierarchy/policing of Female Sexuality/Female Reproductive labour/Merit myth/Lower-caste Manual Labour/Ritual-Caste purity/Women’s economic dependence/Social Respectability politics/Caste hierarchy. All of which combine to form the brahminical social structure. Misrepresentation of terms like this takes away the means to meaningfully talk about and deconstruct the system, which is unhelpful at best and malicious at best. In the same vein, calling anti-caste activists "anti-hindu"? Very funny. You have to imagine me going "So you admit it? You think the caste hierarchy is fundamental to Hinduism as a religion and cannot be separated from it without radical change?" à la Regina George.

This list isn't comprehensive and completely off the top of my head. However, I think this provides a decent starting point to a) maybe recognise some of your own oversight and ingrained behaviour or b) to be aware of in conversations with other people. There's multiple other ways people do it too. Let me know and I'll add to the list, I guess.

- Mod S

I wish Hindublr and Desiblr could be normal when it comes to literally any anti-caste statement/philosophy/movement/idea. Some of you guys harp on about how you're beyond caste and talk about decolonising but the minute a person expresses even a hint of anti-caste sentiment you start calling them "anti-hindu". The decolonising begins with the personal, my friends, and if you cannot handle the most milquetoast of ideas or criticism, I don't think you're going to survive this decolonisation movement that you claim to care so much about.

P.S. MOST of you don't even know that what you're hating on is part of the anti-caste movement and that's embarrassing. I used to think that with time you'll learn or at least read up on it even if you disagree with the movement but no. This is willful ignorance now and it's not cute.

-Mod S

[doberbutts]

Feel free to ignore this ask but I'm too scared to say it off anon but like.... the absolute audacity of people to say "all problems trans men face are ACTUALLY misdirected transmisogyny and are about trans women" while ALSO insisting on using terms TMA vs TME is insane to me... Like, which is it? Are trans men all TMA or is transandrophobia a thing? Because it very literally cannot be both.

Well this is information from 10 years ago so take it with a grain of salt but like. When I was being taught trans theory as a scared 18yo in my college's GSA by a trans woman who was directly mentoring me, her opinion was that all trans people are affected by transmisogyny for exactly that reason, and that transmisogyny would literally be the correct word to describe what is now being called "transandrophobia" and "enbyphobia" and even parts of "intersex-phobia" because the problem is that our genders, our sexed bodies, and the way we related to the world causes oppression based on the intersection of misogyny and transphobia (as well as intersex-phobia and homophobia) (and a lil bit of racism to go with it especially for trans people of color and intersex people of color).

Again, this is back when the correct term was trans*gender, to include those who considered themselves outside of the binary but not transgender due to lack of interest in transitioning or lack of dysphoria or because their cultural understanding of gender does not include what American society would consider "transgender" or simply because. I... still know people to this day who fit under that label, and it seems those advocating for the removal of the asterisk have sort of left them behind. I understand that transmedicalism poisoned the waters, still don't love the immediate accusations that I was A Bad Person Oppressing Non-Binary People when the script flipped and suddenly the asterisk was not inclusive when my non-binary friends were very much thankful that I was still using it. Now I don't, and I had a few ask me about it, and when I explained they understood, but...

So like. A large part of my protest behind the whole TMA/TME thing is that I literally am listening to trans women, the trans woman who helped me gain the confidence to be who I am today, and that trans woman negated the idea of "trans men aren't affected by transmisogyny and thus are exempt from harm by it" literally before those terms even existed.

BTW this is why people keep stressing that we need to actually like. Take a moment and listen to and learn from our LGBT elders before running off at the mouth taking potshots at people who are part of this community an receive much of the same harms as everyone else.

And this is why when I learned those terms back in May my instant reaction was "uh... no?"

So like. We are. We are affected by transmisogyny. And if we're not allowed to use that word anymore, then we get to find a different word to use that describes our very real problems with both transphobia and misogyny. But we're not allowed to use that word because "misandry isn't real" (it is, MRAs are just using it wrong, again poisoning the waters literally never helped anyone) and we're not allowed to use that word because "OP had a personal dispute with Blogger A and his consensual sexual history makes me uncomfortable" and we're not allowed to use that word because "it looks like it's not a real word and anyway people who believe this is true are transmisogynists" and we're not allowed to use that word because "it's not the right time" so it's sounding an awful lot like people just don't want us talking about what we go through or finding support in each other to me.

[offtorivendell]

Elain Archeron's trauma should not be mocked

Not least because we shouldn't mock any of their respective traumas, but there could also be a plot or magic-based reason that would account for Elain's avoidance of crowds and war camps etc, rather than the typical cries of "she's just weak and pathetic."

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Disclaimer: this post isn't about any one instance, as belittling Elain's trauma, and her response to it, is pretty much pervasive in the fandom by now. I just hope people see this post and realise that Elain being so affected after she was Made was both a completely reasonable response to what she had experienced, and that there may also be a narrative based reason that she reacted like that. Ship neutral.

TW: mentions of an event being an allegory of rape, as well as canon typical violence, childhood trauma and grooming.

We're all entitled to our character preferences, and I'll never be mad at people for just not jiving with Elain Archeron's character - I have my preferences, too! - but this is just a gentle reminder to ACOTAR's fandom at large that mocking trauma isn't a good look. We shouldn't have to tear down one character to build up another, when their achievements can speak for themselves.

Trauma isn't a competition, though one can absolutely argue that Elain has experienced a lot of hardship over the course of her life, and...

There may be a reason that Elain struggled so much in the beginning, especially during the war, that furthers her character and the plot.

Elain handled her trauma differently, which doesn't mean it was less than.

It shouldn't need to be said, but here we are. People frequently reduce the entirety of Elain's trauma to "a bad break-up." This is unfair, not only because the breakdown of a relationship can and will cause many people to shut down - especially if their ex partner seemed to change over night, as Graysen must have done if Nesta's ACOMAF report that he and Elain were smitten with each other was accurate - but also because she experienced so much more.

Elain experienced period appropriate grooming from childhood, by her mother, who sought to use her as a pawn on the marriage market, equated her worth with her beauty, and thought that she couldn't, or possibly ensured that she wouldn't, ever dream of more. It's unclear how much of this continued after their mother died, but regardless, that sort of belief - or lack thereof - in and about yourself can take years to overcome.

She, like Feyre and Nesta, were impoverished at a young age, when their father's business lost everything. They then fell further, as what little money they had ran out, and they experienced starvation at certain times of the year. If Feyre hadn't taken it upon herself to hunt, they likely would have died. Elain may live comfortably now, but for a good long while she did not, and I'm sure that, like Feyre and Nesta, she does not take their current existence for granted.

Just like Nesta, Elain was kidnapped and Made into a faerie. Disregarding the fact that humans were taught to fear faeries from childhood, and all of the emotions that she (and Nesta) would have had to deal with purely to unpack all of that when they became their biggest fear, Elain's autonomy was ignored, and her body changed without her permission at a cellular level, which could reasonably be interpreted as an allegory of r*pe or SA. Elain went into the Cauldron first with no expectation of surviving the incident, and then experienced the guards around her laughing at her naked form, which was exposed through her shear/wet nightgown, and described in detail to the point Feyre said she hadn't seen Elain's legs for years. Just to be clear, acknowledging this possibility doesn't negate the trauma of any other character in the series, because we have already established that trauma should not be a competition.

After having her species changed against her will, Elain started to experience visions that she could neither explain nor understand. Her sisters, and others, thought she was going "mad," and didn't heed her cryptic warnings when in reality she was lost in her unknown powers. This must have been an incredibly scary time for her, as we have decent evidence that some of what she was Seeing was at least unpleasant, if not outright violent.

After all that she had been through, Graysen - her fiance, who supposedly loved her - cast her off in an incredibly public and painful manner. I personally suspect that Elain knew her marriage to Graysen could no longer go ahead (though I don't blame her for trying to tell him she loved him anyway), and she went to his land to beg for sanctuary for the other humans, regardless. However, his harsh betrayal of her would have understandably left fresh wounds on her already raw soul, and to laugh at this is, in my opinion, pretty shitty; Elain was planning her future with Graysen - running her own home, likely a family (given the times, and associated societal expectations)... everything she had been raised to attain - and it was gone, lost. Even if this was all Elain had experienced, she would be well within her rights to take time to heal before embarking on a new romance, or plotting her new life's course. Throw in the looming war and being a new, magical species, and she had a lot to deal with.

Not only would experiencing a war, and all that it would entail, be traumatic enough, but Elain was kidnapped once more. The Cauldron - we assume - used her remaining love for Graysen against her and lured her outside the wards of their camp, where it winnowed her back to the Hybern army's camp. We don't know who she met, or what she experienced, while there, but we do know that she managed to remain calm and collected, and aid Feyre and Azriel as much as she could in her own rescue, given the spelled chains she still wore (chains that had to be removed by Helion Spell-Cleaver no less, so let's not shame a newly Made faerie for being unable to escape them herself).

Like her sisters, Elain likely saw her father die. Perhaps she even Saw his death, but had to choose between saving him or Nesta (and Cassian). At the "very least," she lost her father, whom she loved, in the war, and was unable to say goodbye.

I'll expand on this below, but isolating herself through the war may have been a way to cope with her Sight, as Nesta used sex and alcohol to cope with her Cauldron/Death magic and PTSD in general. And to clarify, I'm absolutely not shaming Nesta for this, just pointing out the parallel: both sisters found ways to cope with their trauma and new powers. Their methods matched their needs.

If I've forgotten anything, please feel free to add on!

What if Elain was Seeing all the awful potential futures they could live?

Elain spent a lot of time with glazed, foggy eyes, or blinking, throughout ACOWAR. @wingedblooms has discussed this before (here and here), and I agree, that Elain's near constant blinking could possibly hint at her Sight being active. As I suggested in the final point before, her self-enforced isolation may not have only been the result of her dealing with her recent kidnapping, species change and heartbreak.

What if she was secluding herself to manage her visions?

Elain, on her first vision to Windhaven, saw all of the gathered soldiers, then asked if many would die. Wouldn't you know it, she was blinking at the time.

Mor let out a snort that made the Illyrians stiffen. But she shifted, revealing Elain behind her. Elain was just blinking, wide-eyed, at the camp. The army. Devlon let out a grunt at the sight of her. But Elain wrapped her own blue cloak around herself, averting her eyes from all of those towering, muscled warriors, the army camp bustling toward the horizon … She was a rose bloom in a mud field. Filled with galloping horses. “Don’t be afraid of them,” Nesta said beneath lowered brows. [...] Warriors and females laboring around the fires silently monitored us. Nesta stared them all down. Elain kept her focus on the dry, rocky ground. [...] Elain at last slid into the chair near Mor’s, her dawn-pink dress—finer than the ones she usually wore—crinkling beneath her. “Will—will many of these soldiers die?” - ACOWAR, chapter 51

It's likely Elain also Saw Cassian's death, which many think might have been at the hands of the King of Hybern, if she hadn't acted to save him and Nesta.

“Morning, Nesta,” he said around a mouth of blueberry-lemon. “Elain.” Nesta’s nostrils flared, but Elain peered up at Cassian, blinking twice. “He snapped your wings, broke your bones.” I tried to shut out the sound of Cassian’s scream—the memory of the spraying blood. Nesta stared at her plate. Elain, at least, was out of her room, but … “It’ll take more than that to kill me,” Cassian said with a smirk that didn’t meet his eyes. Elain only said to Cassian, “No, it will not.” - ACOWAR, chapter 30

It doesn't seem much of a stretch, then, to wonder if Elain may have been keeping herself in her tent whenever possible to avoid visions of death and destruction that were triggered by her proximity* to the warriors, or the war camp in general. And I wouldn't blame her at all for that. She had been a human, with no personal experience with magic of her own, only a few months ago. She was only told she was a Seer - ie. not going "mad" - no more than two months before the war began. That is a LOT to get on top of in a very short amount of time.

* This could also be why - at least in part - Elain has chosen to lead a quiet life, avoiding large gatherings like drinking halls etc, until she gets on top of her powers; which, I assume, will be in her book.

Feyre suggested, in ACOWAR, that she should have made sure Elain trained as Nesta did; was this not only to ensure her powers would be at their most useful, but because - unbeknownst to them - out of control Sight has the potential to be either painful or unbearable? In an era when historically momentous upheaval - like a great war - is about to occur, would Seers be more likely to experience unprompted visions, due to the uncertainty of the future?

Imagine going from having a mind that was entirely your own, to one that is - hypothetically - being inundated with awful visions of battles and death that you haven't yet learnt to control. Then, because you know how worried your family was before, and you don't want to stress them out again, especially as they're preparing for war, you keep it to yourself and do what you can to manage it all, quietly. If Elain was experiencing such waves of premonition, it could nicely explain her actions, though once again, no one should be shamed for being overwhelmed by a war camp and the stress of an upcoming battle! Avoidance is not the healthiest of options, granted, but that's where Elain's subsequent character growth, and future book, have and will come in.

Just like her sisters, her time will come.

Please remain respectful in the comments/reblogs.