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transporttoanotherplace · 2 years ago

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Reread the Fallen Series and ???

My overall rating: 2.67 out of 5 (average mean# of my reviews)

Fallen: 2/5

Torment:3.5 /5 (because Daniel's hardly in this one and I was so happy)

Passion: 2/5

Fallen in Love: 3/5

Rapture: 2/5

Unforgiven: 3.5/5

Review (Spoilers)

For the month of September I reread the Fallen series by Lauren Kate as my nostalgic read for the month and I just....it was not good. Never thought I'd find the day where I think Twilight is better. However, I do see why as a teenager I loved this book but sadly as an adult, this isn't one I can come back to and love. It's one of the perils I face when I reread a series I loved when I was younger. Makes you realize how much you've grown up.

My favorite trope is soulmates. I have hundreds of soulmate fics bookmarked on AO3 but this story made me realize why so many people don't like soulmate stories. I just don't believe in Luce and Daniel. Or at least I don't believe in Luce's love for Daniel. Him I believe in a little more. In Fallen, Daniel is just a complete ass to Luce and yes, I understand why. He is trying to be off-putting so that Luce won't like him BUT LUCE JUST KEEPS GOING BACK (a very problematic message by the way but a lot of teen love is problematic) BECAUSE SOULMATES. Now, this has an easy fix. Just give me scenes where Daniel and Luce connect and I can see what they find so attractive in each other! But nope anytime they're with each other it's about how obsessed they are with one another! WHICH WOULD BE FINE IF I KNEW WHY! The number of pages spent Luce waxing poetics about Daniels's looks and the intensity of her feelings...kill me🔪 . It felt more like they were in love with love rather than each other. By the end of the book, I honestly had zero clue what they liked about each other besides their looks.

So when characters like Cam and Miles came in of course I rooted for those two. Both of these characters go out of their way to cheer Luce up, listen to and spend time with her, and support Luce. Miles in particular was hard for me to root against, particularly in the Thanksgiving dinner scene when he stands up for Luce. But no!! She can't walk away from this spark between her and Daniel. I get it girl You have a connection but what do you like about Daniel??? You have yet to tell me. Do you really expect me to root for the character who's hardly in the book and when he continues to keep things from Luce???

And I get that Lauren Kate tried to explore those questions more in Passion and I really appreciate that willingness to explore those questions that I have. I STILL DIDN'T GET AN ANSWER! The answer was once again that Luce saw Daniel loved her and she just needed to have faith in their love. *jumps off a cliff* I NEVER DOUBTED THAT! WHEN DID WE EVER DOUBT THAT??? THE QUESTION IS WHAT IS IT THAT DANIEL LOVES SO MUCH? WHAT DO THEY SEE IN EACH OTHER???

And I thought okay the answer must come at the beginning of their love story. However, they first met must have been an incredible love story. IT'S BARELY DISCUSSED! I admit what Daniel said to Luce as she's crying about Lucifer (a whole other can of worms) is touching and I can see why she was attracted to Daniel. But beyond that we get nothing. Did they spend time together after? It's one thing for Daniel to tell Luce love can be something different than what Lucifer believes but it's another thing to show her that. From how it went Luce was crying, Daniel gave her some good advice, and boom from that moment she decided Daniel was the love of her life. It was just this instantaneous thing and I'm sorry but you really expect me to believe Luce and Daniel decided to turn their backs on God for love at first sight???? We deserved to see their first relationship develop! I had to read an entire book about how far you two would go for each other but we can't devote a chapter to exploring how these two fell in love the first time??? Bullshit.

And oh god the contradictions. In Torment, Luce is heartbroken realizing how her love for Daniel has resulted in so much heartbreak for her past families. It's one of the hardest things she has to wrestle with: Is her love for Daniel worth all the pain and heartbreak they leave behind? Then all of a sudden in Passion there's a scene where she says it's strange how she doesn't even care about the families left behind but rather is only concerned for Daniel's pain. Excuse me, I just spent the entire previous book reading about how you did care. WTF changed? You just said fuck it I'm going to die and leave behind all my friends, my parents, Daniel's friends. Like could the ending not have been Luce and Daniel return to Earth, both of them human and living their remaining life together? God, we don't 'even see Luce grieve the idea that she's about to turn her back on everyone she knows. She's just like of course I'll die again for Daniel 🙄

Their selfishness honestly boggles me. Daniel and Luce are such selfish individuals and the problem is as a teenager love is all-consuming and often selfish. Now as an adult I want to cry because love isn't selfish and Daniel should have walked away from Luce a long time ago. I can at least understand why Luce is whiny and self-absorbed. She's a teenager but I would expect better from Daniel who may be stuck in a teenager's body but has been around since the beginning of creation. He literally has zero character growth and that's just shit writing people when he's a damn protagonist of several books. Love is also about knowing when to let go. When love consumes everything and only leaves disaster that is not true love.

Here's the damn truth: No, Luce. No, Daniel. Your love was not worth Penn dying. Or Gabby and Molly. It was not worth having 300+ families suffer the loss of their daughter constantly. If your love causes that much havoc it's not this beautiful ideal that Cam and Arianne constantly put on a pedestal. It's toxic and they're all idiots to root for you.

Now let's examine the angel thing. Something that gives this story a unique element but was executed so poorly I could cry. Why are the angels essentially teenagers with wings? Don't get me wrong I really enjoyed the angels particularly Roland, Arianne, and Gabby (as characters though). But they're supposed to be these powerful entities with eons of wisdom and they sound like just any other teenager. There's nothing otherwordly about them or enchanting. Yeah, their wings are cute but that's about it. Other than that they could've been any other human on the street. The only one who came close to feeling like a true angel was Gabby which is why I was so upset when she died. And so many unexplored areas that could have been fascinating but are hardly touched!! Why did Cam turn to Lucifer when Lillith died? What made him think "oh yeah I suck so I guess to hell I go." People can suck and still be on God's side. We could've explored that in Unforgiven but noooo. I would've loved to know more about the war between heaven and hell. It sounded like we were going to go there but uhm guess not. Wasted opportunity. Fuck, even Twilight did better using vampires.

Also, if the Devil is real I'm pretty sure the entity is weeping at their depiction here. Aside from Bill, who I admit was my favorite part of this entire series, the idea of Lucifer ending the world because his first girlfriend rejected him is the most laughable shit I could have ever imagined. Props to Lauren Kate for the original ending though.

I think I was honestly just so done with Luce and Daniel I really wanted to hear more about the other characters which is why Fallen in Love has higher ratings but it had it's own issues. Luce and Daniel take up so much energy that a lot of side characters are sadly very one-dimensional. Unforgiven wasn't as bad largely because I thought the characters were better developed and the conflict was actually well executed. What I didn't like was that we didn't really get more about Cam's backstory. Something that always confused me in the series is if he idealized Daniel and Lucinda so much why did he hit on her so much? In Torment, he even mentions how he could have stared at Luce all day and tells Daniel to watch out, that he's not done going after her (and then promptly proceeds to never go after her). Why do this as well if he's apparently so in love with Lillith? A lot of retcon which is always a mistake.

Lastly, why were these books so damn long? 400+ pages? Thank God I read fast and none of the books took up too much of my time but boy several of these books could've been edited down even more. Going to have to give my nostalgic choice this month a solid D. It would be an F but I think it was good for my soul to reflect on why this love story isn't as convincing. For a minute I was convinced that maybe I needed to stop reading YA but after further evaluations, I realized that was wrong. There are several YA's I've read that managed to accurately portray young love without toxicity. Peeta and Katniss are still one of the best depictions of love I've ever read from modern YA books.

#fallen series lauren kate #anti-book so please be warned #anti-fallen series #book review #september 2022

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supremeuppityone · 3 years ago

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This was written for the @klarowinterbingo Klarowinter Bingo Event. Small towns are supposed to be quirky. But what Caroline mistakenly assumes are kinky Wiccan nudist neighbors is a whole other level of quirky.

Prompt: Awkward snow blower incident

This also is a gift for @eliliyah, one of the most generous and loveliest of lovely people and it’s a privilege to call you my friend! I’m equally envious of your writing talent and your ability to come up with randomly hilarious t-shirt slogans. I hope you like your gift!

Clever Fool

“Assumptions are the enemy of coherence...In other words, You're an idiot.” ― Nalini Singh, Archangel's Sun

Toilet parts had never been more fascinating. Caroline paused her rifling through the plastic bin of seals, valves and chains when she heard Klaus, her ridiculously hot neighbor, joking with the cashier at the hardware store’s counter. She’d recently moved to Mystic Falls to open a spa and so far, every stereotype she used to snidely assume about small towns had been wrong. For one thing, apparently small towns were disproportionately full of attractive people. Must be the fresh country air.

She quietly leaned over the bin, peeking in between the slats of the shelves for a better look. That jawline should be illegal. The first time they met, she’d been yanking out stubborn crabgrass from the hopelessly weed-choked front flowerbed and he’d just returned from running. In fact, most of her neighbors seemed to be runners. Hardcore physically fit specimens that looked like they were training for the Olympics. It was so disgustingly healthy and wholesome how many of them ran in pairs or small groups, smiling and chattering and barely even breathing hard.

Sweat had glistened on Klaus’ bare chest and Caroline kept reminding herself to blink. From the amused twinkle in his eye and the slight twitch of his lips, he’d noticed her obvious interest. Cheeks flaming, she’d turned into a rambling mess, diffusing the awkward by piling on more awkward. It was hours later before she realized she’d been flirting while wearing a wide streak of mud across her forehead and along one side of her nose.

Klaus’ chuckle caught her attention once more as he told the cashier, “I swear I still don’t know how Kol managed to get into the garage — much less the cabinet.” Shaking his curly head, he added, “Of course, once the ruckus began, I stumbled upon quite the unnerving scene in which the family still refers to as the ‘awkward snow blower incident’.”

Letting out an inelegant snort, Caroline realized she’d been caught eavesdropping and uncomfortably shuffled out from behind the shelves. Inwardly cursing that she hadn’t brought along the corroded part she was trying to match, she said, “Sorry to interrupt, but I need help with my plumbing.” At Klaus’ raised brow, Caroline felt herself grow warm as she hastily explained, “My toilet is running and I don’t know the right parts to get.”

“I’d be delighted to help you with your plumbing, sweetheart,” he replied with a dimpled smirk, “I’m good with my hands.” He smoothly led her back to the shelves, ignoring the cashier’s quiet guffaws.

Seriously? No one that attractive should be this inept at flirting. Not that she’d done a much better job with her earlier ramblings where she waxed poetic about organic fertilizer. Because there’s nothing sexier than a muddy woman talking about locally sourced animal poop. She might as well get a bunch more cats and lean into the crazy cat lady vibe.

Klaus suddenly distracted her from those cringey memories, holding up several kits while discussing the pros and cons with surprising authority. She couldn’t help but be a little impressed by how quickly he pulled together the most likely parts, and realized she’d been staring way too long at his forearms than was considered polite. She hurriedly said, “So, you have a loveable troublemaker for a pet, huh?” At Klaus’ nonplussed expression, she asked, “You were talking about your dog, Kol, humping a snow blower, right?”

Gray eyes went wide as he emitted a choking cough, lips curling into a small smile as he readily agreed, “Oh yes, Kol is quite the incorrigible...pet.”

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You can read and review the full chapter here.

#klarowinterbingo #uppity bitch fanfic #klaroline fanfic #klaroline aesthetic #aesthetic #clueless human caroline #klaroline does awkward flirting plus misunderstandings #enjoy the fluffy fluff

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darkcircles4lyfe · 3 years ago

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retrospective & predictions

Since we're on a hiatus week (between 320 and 321) I feel like waxing poetic about the depth and growth of bkdk for a bit. Especially because it seems like we’re right on the edge of their biggest development yet, I’m getting the urge to lay all my perspectives and insights I’ve picked up from others out on the table. This is ultimately only my subjective interpretation of subtextual material in canon, though. If you’ve never quite understood what people see in their dynamic and you’re actually open to hearing me out, maybe from this you can at least see where we’re coming from. And if you don’t like my takes after all, well, we’ll see who’s right in the coming chapters, won’t we? What I have to say can be taken platonically or romantically; I appreciate both.

putting it under the cut, since it’ll be long:

At the risk of projecting, I want to start by examining a couple things based partly on personal experience.

From many different directions, I often hear people expressing that Deku’s persistent attachment and admiration for Bakugou is baffling at best. Despite the bullying, despite Bakugou’s loud, rude, and uncompromising personality, he still puts effort into their relationship and frequently describes him as amazing. It seems like Deku himself is aware of this as he’s said things along the lines of how he’s difficult, BUT... etc. Although I don’t think it’s exactly that Deku finds Bakugou’s personality hard to be around, but that he’s deliberately expressing patience for Bakugou’s emotional turmoil.

I have to say I know what this sort of patience is like, as I went through it with someone I love. I only chose to put up with their behavior because I decided the possibility of what our relationship could be was worth it. I wasn’t blind or submissive to how they treated me, and I wasn’t coerced. I simply expressed myself and established my boundaries while still allowing them the opportunity to join me in my world once they got over their own hangups. And guess what? It worked out in the end. That doesn’t mean there aren’t circumstances where it’s better to cut ties, but I want to stress that true reconciliation is possible sometimes. I used to worry that other people around me thought I was delusional for seeking it, but what really helped was my therapist reminding me that I’m smart and strong. So I think Deku deserves to feel the same. In a way this is his whole mission in life, his approach to being a hero as well as his personal relationships.

Let me also be clear though that I don’t mean Deku is only tolerating Bakugou’s personality, his mannerisms, the parts of him that will likely never change. I’m drawing a line between those things and his emotional state (they so rarely align anyway, but I’ll get to that later). In fact, I think Bakugou’s general attitude is part of what Deku admires. This is gonna be hard to explain without inserting personal experience too, sorry. As a writer myself I’ve noticed I’m drawn to writing characters that are brazen and bold and don't mind telling people off. Really it’s because I operate in the world in the polar opposite way. I try not to draw attention to myself, I’m quiet, and I’m a people-pleaser. People who project confidence, especially in an impolite sort of way, fascinate me. It’s good to take cultural context into account, too: I've heard people who’d know better than me that part of the reason Bakugou is the most popular character in the Japanese fandom is likely because he contradicts a lot of their social norms. His disregard is refreshing and cathartic. I can speculate that Deku has a similar point of view based on what he thinks but does not admit about Bakugou being his image of victory and how this sometimes makes him mimic Bakugou’s speech and mannerisms:

There’s also the bit in this fight where Deku realizes he's the only one able to receive Bakugou’s emotions. This is because he’s the most intimately familiar with him and his situation, but I think there’s another layer. Deku, as we know, has a self-sacrificing tendency, and in the current chapters we’re seeing the worst side of that. But let’s also not forget that to an extent, it can be a positive trait: resilience. When it comes to Bakugou, he has an almost comical ability to dodge the potential fallout of his outbursts. The example we all jump to (and fight about..) is how in ch1, apart from the initial shock of Bakugou suggesting he jump off the roof, the most he reacts is to criticize him for saying such a ridiculous thing. However, I think their interaction post- sludge villain is a lot more interesting:

Note two things: 1, in his head, Deku is practically making fun of how Bakugou’s acting as he stomps away without waiting for a reply. It doesn’t faze him. 2, Deku thinks, optimistically, that he can now focus on a different career choice. This is astonishing really. Up to this point, none of Bakugou’s attempts to put him down have worked; he just kept pursuing his dream. The only reason Deku concedes in this moment it because for the first time, he has been shown that he really couldn't do anything in a fight against a villain. All Might told him he couldn't be a hero (although he’s literally about to take that back in the next few pages lol) and the other heroes at the scene gave him a lecture about it too. It was those experiences, and not Bakugou’s words, that truly affected him. And when All Might tells Deku he can be a hero after all, it’s not thinking of Bakugou’s bullying that makes him sob and fall to his knees, it’s the memory of his own mom never telling him those words he so desperately needed to hear. Having spent most of their lives together, Deku must have been aware all this time that Baukgou was influenced by larger societal forces rather than a core judgement, so he didn’t take it personally. He separated the person from the action, and because he’s resilient and patient, he is thus equipped to handle Bakugou’s emotions. It’s a testament to his maturity and emotional intelligence, really.

But I can almost hear some of you saying, “that doesn’t mean Deku should have to be the bigger person here!” Correct! Just because Deku is perfectly alright bearing all of that, doesn’t mean atonement-era Bakugou sees it this way. We can track his awareness of Deku’s care and selflessness as follows-

The bridge scene, when they’re little kids: Bakugou conflates Deku’s heroism with pity, and subsequently thinks Deku is looking down on him because Bakugou’s own insecurity makes him defensive.

The Sludge Villain, and also Deku vs. Kacchan Part 1: Bakugou witnesses first-hand how easily Deku jumps to risk his own life, but still thinks he’s being looked down on.

The Sports Festival: Bakugou fights Uraraka and recognizes her endurance strategy and refusal to give up as very Deku-like. He’s half right. He thinks Deku advised her in the fight, when in reality she just mimicked Deku because she admired him. I want to draw attention to his very sober comment about her not being frail. It’s a great endearment of Uraraka’s character and Bakugou’s respect for her when others didn’t take “fighting a girl” seriously, but it also reflects on his opinion of Deku. Deku isn’t weak either. He never was.

Deku vs. Kacchan Part 2: Deku finally corrects him about the whole looking-down-on-him thing, and Bakugou is informed that Deku’s selflessness is in fact the reason All Might chose him. Since Bakugou had been in search of what he himself was “doing wrong” for All Might to favor Deku over him, he now has to reconcile the fact that selflessness is a heroic trait, and moreover something he lacks. This is also possibly the first time Bakugou is able to see his past actions toward Deku as bullying since he previously thought it was more mutual. Additionally, Bakugou can now link Deku’s selfless behavior to what he perceived as pity/contempt, and realize that Deku has been giving him A LOT of grace. Maybe too much. Maybe more than Bakugou deserves, and definitely more than Deku should have to. Holy heck- now Bakugou has to figure out how to live up to all the faith that’s been placed in him.

Subtextually, we can see Bakugou’s feelings about atonement reflected in the Todoroki family:

1, Shouto is another example of Deku growing a friendship using his selflessness (since their fight in the sports festival) and their relationship is being acknowledged here where it hasn’t been in Bakugou’s situation. Perhaps Bakugou is wishing it could be so simple for him, to be able to thank him for being his friend like that. Deku saying the pleasure is all his also probably calls to mind how a mere apology from Bakugou would probably be dismissed because that’s just the kind of accommodating person Deku is. Bakugou has to operate more quietly in order to actually make up for their past. I personally don’t interpret this scene as Bakugou being jealous of Deku and Shouto’s friendship, exactly, just the lack of emotional baggage. Side note, Deku and Fuyumi are kinda similar in their desire to repair relationships. I like that she’s the one to give him some credit.

2, With the common terminology, this can be interpreted as Bakugou receiving a model for atonement, one that is about action, and nothing to do with receiving favor or forgiveness. It’s a sense of duty.

Many of the above sentiments are repeated in the flashback conversation between All Might and Bakugou right before Bakugou’s sacrifice.

Bakugou acknowledges his bullying and that it happened because of his own insecurities, but aside from that, it’s interesting he neither confirms nor denies All Might’s suggestion that he’s trying to atone, or that Deku doesn’t see it that way. All Might is a bit of an unreliable mentor sometimes, but I don’t think he’s misreading here. Rather, Bakugou is displaying his tendency to hold back when talking about things that would make him really emotional. Besides, admitting to what he’s doing kind of defeats the purpose. He isn’t seeking acknowledgement. All Might has gotten to the crux of the issue here when pointing out that Deku doesn’t recognize the atonement, likely because Deku doesn't think Bakugou even needs to atone. Am I reading into it too much to say Bakugou looks wistful at this? It’s kinda frustrating sometimes trying to interpret Bakugou’s actions because he’s so paradoxical. Loud and in your face, but also extremely reserved. Sometimes I feel like I’m grasping at thin air, but hey, being hard to figure out is part of his intrigue as a character. The simplest way to look at him is to assume that unless he’s really showing vulnerability, he’s probably deflecting and hiding something.

Speaking of Bakugou’s tendency to to hold back emotional stuff, there’s his apparent lack of issue with Deku calling him Kacchan. Maybe to begin with, in his warped perception of things where he thought they hated each other, Bakugou saw it as Deku’s way of getting back at him for calling him “useless,” and didn't dare give any indication that it actually bothered him. However... consider how betrayed Bakugou has appeared when he was noticeably thinking Deku was looking down on him- the bridge scene, and the beginning of their first year at UA when he thought Deku was hiding a quirk all along. He looks shocked and hurt. That kind of emotion couldn’t be invoked by someone Bakugou didn’t actually care about his relationship with. “Kacchan” comes from a long time ago, before their relationship was strained, so it’s connotations are pure. Maybe somewhere deep down, Bakugou has always been hoping that Deku’s continued use of the nickname was not simply a matter of habit or teasing, but a vestige of friendship they’re both clinging to, and Bakugou himself was too afraid to admit to himself that he felt this way about it, so he mostly ignored it. (These are not original thoughts I am having here lol, this is a common interpretation. I’m just laying everything out like I said.)

And now we turn to the current situation. Personally, I’ve been looking frantically back and forth between them wondering who’s going to break down first (Deku vs. Kacchan Part 3, this time it’s just a fight to get the other person to cry? ha.) Both have looked like they’re approaching a breaking point for some time. Also, I’ve addressed this before, but I think it’s significant that Bakugou is no longer wearing his mask with his hero costume, in contrast to Deku recently donning his own. It feels symbolic of Bakugou about to be upfront about how he feels.

The question is, what is it going to take to get Deku to accept help? If you ask me, Deku has dug himself so deeply into the I’m-doing-this-for-everyone-else’s-safety-and-smiles hole, no common sense argument can possibly reach him. By the end of 320, Deku’s mask is off, and we can see how desperate he truly is. But he has not cried, yet. I predict we’re going to see a bit more of his defiance, this time on full display on his face as the remaining class members and his other friends take their turns. But then I think Bakugou has to be the one to break down so Deku can witness his actions having the opposite effect he intended. People have been pointing out that Deku is currently ignoring Bakugou, and oof, that’s gotta be intentional. Regardless of what Bakugou says, it’s going to be wrapped up not only in his understanding of Deku’s self-sacrifice, but also the betrayal Bakugou feels at being ignored/left behind that ironically echoes his previous perception of being looked down on, as well as a need to express how much he cares about Deku before it’s too late. He must show that the two of them are inseparable because they both act to save each other without thinking, and both feel like losing the other would be like dying themselves. All Might may have been right when he told them they could learn from each other after Deku vs. Kacchan Part 2, but he didn’t fully realize that idea by making sure they stuck by each other for support and balance.

I can’t wait to see what it’ll be like when they do finally get to that point, totally in synch and in tune with each other. They’ll be a powerful force no one is quite prepared for. Who knows when that will be, or even which chapter will be their big showdown, but I know the day is coming.

To speculate even further, I think the 2nd user is going to be really important really soon. And no I don’t mean to suggest that the 2nd user is Bakugou. But I do think their resemblance is key. Okay this is gonna be convoluted...

See how 2nd is the only one still standing? I think that’s symbolic of him withholding his quirk. Deku may not even know what it is at this point, let alone have unlocked it. Given that 2nd approves of Deku’s strategy at this point, it seems odd for him to withhold his quirk based on lack of faith. I think if his quirk was something that would help Deku in combat, he would have shown it to him already like the others did. So what if those gauntlets of his are support items that are meant to make up for his lack of a combat-oriented quirk, rather than to augment it? Mind you, I still have no idea what his mysterious power might be, but I’m dead set on it not being explosion-y. Regardless, I think 2nd looking like Bakugou is more about aiding some grand visual parallel, so! You know how 2nd and 3rd were probably intending to do away with Yoichi but 2nd changed his mind as soon as they made eye contact? This is really a long shot, but I wonder if 2nd’s quirk has something to do with that exchange. Maybe it’s something psychological, or some 6th sense about people he meets. So... in that way 2nd’s quirk could play a role in bkdk reaching a deeper understanding? Idk! But it could be significant at least that 2nd left Yoichi’s question about why he reached out to him unanswered.

One more thing- while I was gathering screenshots I found this. I think “you’re the last one I’m telling” might be foreshadowing for Bakugou revealing his hero name to Deku and it being a Big Deal:

As for other lingering threads in the overall plot right now, such as the UA traitor, Stain, whatever Tsuyu is apparently about to do, All Might’s car maybe in the background of the last page of 320... man I have no idea. All I know is there’s literally 320 chapters’ worth of build-up to this confrontation that can’t be interrupted.

See you next week <3

#phew that was a lot #I just wanted to show how things are aligning #I know a lot of this has been said #bnha manga spoilers #bnha 320 #bnha 321 #mha #bakudeku #bkdk #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #bnha meta #lin speaks

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astrowitch · 3 years ago

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An Enjoltaire WIP

This is a scene from a big project I’m currently working on. As you may be able to tell, this scene is unfinished, but I’m pretty proud of it so far. I’ve tried to make the dialogue as authentic as I can to the 19th century, but it can be hard to do while still trying to be true to your own writing. It’s definitely ambitious, but I’ve tried my best, so please be patient with me.

June 4th, 1832

“Grantaire, please just listen to me-“

“No! I’m not going to listen to you justify getting yourself killed!”

“You don’t know that I’ll be killed! What if we succeed? Then we still have time…then we have a bright future for France!”

Grantaire sighed deeply, a sense of despair washing over him as he exhaled.

“Enjolras, mon ange,” He began, gripping the blonde man’s soft, slender hand within his own big and rough one, “You are so idealistic. How I envy you and pity you at the same time. Your mind is beautiful, optimistic, everything I’ve ever wanted to be. But it is unrealistic. The National Guard will not listen to the people, much less students. I’m begging, if you just call this off, no one has to die. We can…we can be guaranteed time,” Grantaire’s voice caught in his throat as he finished what he was saying. Of course, right when he had earned a stroke of luck, the thing that he was living for was to be stripped away from in a matter of hours. Grantaire so desperately wanted to wake up tomorrow morning in his rooms with his lovely Enjolras in his arms and the sunlight beating down upon them. He knew that this wish was in vain, for Enjolras was the most selfless person he had ever met. He couldn’t be satisfied until everyone around him was. Grantaire would follow Enjolras to the ends of the Earth, so deep down, he knew that not only were these his last day or two with Enjolras and his friends, but also his last days alive.

Enjolras had a look of frustration on his face, but still had a firm grip on Grantaire’s hand. His blue eyes bore straight into his lover’s soul, and Grantaire wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold his tears back. Hell, Grantaire didn’t even know if this Heaven he had been taught about was real. If God was real, how dare he burden this suffering upon Grantaire’s, Enjolras’s, and all of France’s backs.

“Grantaire, nothing you say can stop me. I know what I must do. My duty lies with France, and I cannot let her down. I would love nothing more than to spend the rest of my days with you, not a care in the world, but none of that is possible until France is reformed! When I feel the crunch of the monarchy beneath my feet, I will be at rest,” Enjolras rambled, his grip on Grantaire’s hand getting tighter. His eyes told a different story than his words, and it was easy to tell just how terrified Enjolras was behind his cover of fearless leader. It was in moments like these that Grantaire recognized Enjolras’ humanity, contrary to when he first met the man.

Alexandre Enjolras was not a god. He was just a boy with a dream.

Cynical Adrien Grantaire was irrevocably and utterly in love with him. Grantaire’s heart was breaking more every second he thought about losing his love.

“Enjolras, please. I can’t lose you. I-,” Grantaire choked on a sob before he could mutter those three words to the boy in front of him.

Arms immediately came to envelope Grantaire in a tight embrace. He felt the familiar soft curls brush up against his neck, and he tried to keep his sobs under control.

“I know, Adrien. I know. I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry-,” Enjolras was speaking through tears too, as Grantaire felt them soaking the collar of his shirt. It was even more unusual to hear Enjolras speaking his first name though, then it was to see him shedding a tear.

Shakily, Grantaire brought one of his hands up from Enjolras’ waist to card it through his Apollonian curls. “I…I would call you Alexandre, but I think you might actually kick me,“ He tried joking, but it came out watery and desperate. Enjolras still let out a broken laugh, and Grantaire’s heart soared at the thought of himself bringing Enjolras joy.

“Grantaire, I- there’s just so much I want to say to you and so little time. There are so many injustices in the world, and I feel that this is one of them,” mused Enjolras, his composure clearly cracking.

“I think we’ve finally come to an agreement on something. How bittersweet those words taste on my tongue in a time like this,” Grantaire leaned his forehead against Enjolras’ own. The pair of them were an incredibly melancholy sight.

“Grantaire?” Enjolras broke Grantaire out of his cage of darkness.

“Yes?” He replied, the smallest twinge of hope manifesting in his voice.

“I…I need you to stay as far away as you can from the barricade tomorrow. I may be risking my life, but…but you don’t have to. Do you understand me?” These words looked like they were physically painful for Enjolras to say, like thousands of little knives pierced his throat as they fell from his mouth.

Grantaire let out a humorless laugh at that. “Enjolras, you really believe that I will stay away from you tomorrow?” He started.

“Grantaire, please-“

“Enjolras. My world is nothing without you. I have no one if you and the others are to expire at the barricade. Living alone for eternity is a far worse fate than dying together. I told you that I would never abandon you, and I intend to keep that promise. There…there is no longer an Adrien Grantaire without an Alexandre Enjolras I’m afraid. My soul intertwined with yours the moment I laid eyes on you. Tomorrow, I’ll be there with you. I’ll die with you…and I’d do it over and over again for a million years if it meant I’d get to experience whatever we have,” Grantaire exhaled after he spoke these honest words.

Enjolras surged forward to capture Grantaire’s lips in a passionate kiss. Grantaire felt tears staining both his and Enjolras’ cheeks as they embraced. It was horribly poetic, their tears mixing. All their anguish was shared, much like their fates seemed to be. When Enjolras finally pulled away from their kiss, he buried his face in the crook of Grantaire’s neck, hiding himself from the world. He was holding on to Grantaire impossibly tight, like he’d somehow slip away from his grasp if he didn’t.

It was then Grantaire heard the most heart-wrenching sound; Enjolras gasping for breath, sobbing helplessly into his neck. This was so unlike the Enjolras that he had first met that it was almost disconcerting. This Enjolras was vulnerable and loving instead of cold and militaristic. This was the Enjolras that a lot of people didn’t have the pleasure of seeing. Of course, it was clear that Enjolras cared deeply for others, but he had never broken down like this before.

“Shhh…I’m here. We’re going to get through this…together,” Grantaire soothed, holding the golden boy in his arms close.

“I…I’ve never-“ Enjolras began, “I’ve never felt like this before. Oh, how Marius underestimated me in his speech about the girl he met. I do know how it feels to…to…,” he stumbled.

“To?” Grantaire questioned, hoping that this was going the way he believed it was.

“To be in love. Grantaire, you’ve changed me for the better. How could I have gone on to die without knowing how it felt to be cared for by you? You’ve made my task so much more difficult than it was before, not only because you have a fondness for playing Devil’s Advocate. You have the kindest heart I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing. I’m honored that you let me in,” Enjolras didn’t have time to finish what surely would’ve been a long, rambling proclamation of love because Grantaire so quickly captured his lips in another kiss.

“So many call me cynical, but more honest words have never been spoken than when I told you that I loved you from the moment I saw you. I have been your beloved Patroclus from the very beginning, and you my Achilles. How queer it is that we’re also condemned to a tragic end! Maybe it makes our ephemeral romance all the more fascinating,” Enjolras couldn’t help but grin as Grantaire began his waxing of the classics. It was one of many little quirks he adored about the artist.

When Grantaire finished his spiel, the hopeless expression returned to his sullen face. Enjolras mirrored it, pressing his forehead against Grantaire’s own.

“We will treasure this night, live in our own world. Tomorrow, we return to the situation at hand. We honor General Lamarque, and we will rise up and show the king that we are tired and desolate. If we are to perish, at least we have made a point. At least we have perished for the sake of the people,” Enjolras, ever the patriot, insisted passionately. If this wasn’t such a tender moment between the two of them, Grantaire normally would’ve started an argument, but he had the wise judgement to not say anything.

#enjoltaire #enjoltaire fanfiction #enjolras #grantaire #les amis de l'abc #les mis #les miserables #victor hugo #aaron tveit #george blagden #enjoltaire fanfic #romanticism #exr

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wickedpact · 3 years ago

Note

You can't just drop that "I read Forces Multiplied" bomb on us and not give a ten page written reaction.

[cracks knuckles] if u insist

nicky cant drive hc: destroyed. rip. also i loved how andy and nile stole those sports cars and were being badass and driving off the bridge & meanwhile joe and nicky were just absolutely vibing in the van

'heres the thing about power: people who have it think they deserve it' [shot of police car] i see u greg

5 whole panels being dedicated to booker not being able to unlock his door. booker not even seeing noriko sitting RIGHT THERE in the window at first. incredible

noriko being 24/7 horny was surprising. like wow all of the stuff i saw she did out of context was 100% equally horny in context as it was out of context. love that for her

i didnt think the 'andy + slavery' thing was handled as badly as everyone made it out to be when telling me about it. tho from the way it was talked about i had kind of figured the conflict between andy and nile re: slavery would be really racially charged (esp considering nile is a black american and would obvs have Thoughts on the subject in that regard) but like,, done in a cringey 'a-white-guy-obviously-wrote-it' kind of way? but it wasnt that. i mean. it makes sense that andy would be implicit in slavery through the years

i mean, like she says, is that not what people just did to each other in the aftermath of battles for thousands of years? and i really like how its pointed out that it was what she was raised with (in the beginning when you see her put shackles on that guy after the battle) but she also accepts responsibility for it and acknowledges that it was wrong and not just 'what people did'.

i like how from her expressions you can kind of tell baby andy knew it was off but she sets those feelings aside bc she felt angry. it explains how she felt but didnt make her out to be blameless in it. plus i mean. i dont know, the fact that andy was involved in a lot of morally shady stuff for 7000 years is not that wild for me. if you live that long youre just Going to be involved in some shit, and she didnt even have other immortals with her as positive community influences, she literally just did whatever the fuck she wanted for thousands of years

'i was worshipped as a god once' i mean, yeah no shit she wouldve been involved in some seriously fucked up stuff, gods were fucking scary back in the day

tldr it could use some polish but it wasnt that bad

tho everything people said about moose being boring was unfortunately a little true. sorry king i tried to be interested in you

joe and nicky writing verbal fanfiction about nile and moose was iconic. 'you seeing that?' 'i am definitely seeing that'

it was also extremely funny bc that was like 60% of their contribution to the whole comic, besides kidnapping copley. they came, they wrote some fanfic, they left. kings. at least in tog1 they had an excuse to be useless bc they got kidnapped

joe just found out his old friend who he thought was dead is alive (and also probably wants to murder them) and instead of investigating with andy he stopped to help nile up. champ.

nicky shooting noriko through andy was cool. rip to the concept since it wont happen in tog2

wanna see mr ejiofor deliver this line

on that note imo copley was. weirdly enough, more interesting in fm than in tog1. to me at least. the fact that andy let him live and he was so haunted by what had happened that he came back and sought them out despite knowing they would likely kill him for it bc he wanted to not only make up for what hed done but also to tell them what theyd done for the world was admittedly more interesting than andy just kind of drafting him to the cause and him going 'okie'

i like how nicky was drawn in this one. in opening fire he looks like a blob man but in fm he looks more like a very nice grampa with a very good dye job

'theres no pain like a broken heart' andy 🥺

noriko implying andy's never drowned. .. .idk about that one, she musta drowned sometime

joe and nicky came, they waxed poetic about nile's love life, they waxed poetic about grog, and then they left.

sports bras being a reason humanity is good. i mean..... okay, yeah.

i mean. wild but you cant exactly tell her shes wrong

i liked how noriko telling andy that their purpose is to make people suffer coincides with joe and nicky finding out that they actually did good all those years

joenicky in opening fire: jail for booker jail for booker for 100 years

joenicky when copley tells them he knows where booker is: WE'LL KILL YOU WHERE IS HE

joenicky when copley comes back: if your vibes come off as even remotely rancid we Will destroy you

joenicky 2 minutes later when copley helped them find booker: he made up some ground :)))) <3 lov you j cops

theyre forgiving af

moose: how old are you?? a hundred??? a thousand???

nile [vine voice]: I M 2 7 ?

alright andy you got me there

joe texts like my aunt

i dont know why noriko drowning andy in that car tickled me. Bad And Naughty Andromaches Get Put In The Pear Wiggler To Atone For Their Crimes.

the drowning sequence was cool

copley trying to talk to andy while she was like o_o at him was great

ive hit the picture limit but id seen that panel where nicky goes 'forgive me' as he kills a guy out of context and it was HILARIOUSLY anticlimactic for me to discover that there was literally no context to it. nicky just apologizes to random people he kills. i thought that guy was someone he knew or something. nope its just Some Guy that nicky didnt know from adam

nile's complaint that andy was especially brutal to the guys on the boat... i mean. . , how exactly does one kill a man with an axe and not be brutal about it?

it was funny how noriko kissed andy and the only people who seemed surprised by that were nile and also andy

nicky and joe's complete non-reaction to finding out noriko is alive And Evil Now is endlesly funny. they just left her on that boat and neither cared. i get book and nile not caring but joe and nicky knew her, and they just have 0 input on the subject of what to do with her

pinstripe suit guy!

joe and nicky and booker packing up and leaving with nile

andy blowing up at nile was A Moment tho

i dont know, i get why people didnt like the ending but its. .. . it makes more sense in the comicverse. bc the squad doesnt really. .. interact outside of jobs? i mean, think of the moon landing story in ttt. that was booker and joe and nicky doing a job and andy only showed up a for a couple minutes after it was done. or the brunch in the first issue of opening fire. the squad arent as tight in the comic, and andy often seems to do her own thing outside of work, so andy saying 'i dont want to do work anymore' and the squad being like 'alright bye then' makes more sense in this universe than the movie one

also i feel like greg was Trying to set up a thing where nile becomes the Leader of The Squad after andy dies but like. its not very well done since. . . i mean, nile hasnt spoken to booker since opening fire, (and she only knew him A Day). and shes known joe and nicky all that time, but there isnt really anything that indicates that they have any relationship at all, much less one that's grown. in all the comicverse the only time nile and nicky speak is in FM, and in that scene nicky tells nile about noriko. nile goes from someone who needs to be set aside to have background knowledge explained to her to being the Leader of the group with nothing in between. it kind of... comes out of nowhere.

on the other hand tho... i felt really bad for andy thru the whole thing. well, i always felt bad for andy, but in this one she seemed so miserable, especially since it really felt like none of the others actually.... cared about her. when noriko came back no one asked andy how she was doing (big question ik, but it wouldve showed they cared at least), nobody ever expressed any concern for her, no one even really seemed to want to be around her. in opening fire everyone was more distant than in the movie of course, but there were little moments where she would joke with joe, or nicky would try and comfort her, or stuff like that, but in FM it really felt like they just didnt really care about her. & in opening fire it felt a lot like andy's relationship with nile breathed some new life into her, but in FM it felt like all they did was argue. i get theyre not *as* close in the comics but it really felt like the only person who cared about andy at all was noriko (which was probably also how andy felt) but it just seemed to come out of nowhere. honestly i was reading and i was honestly agreeing with andy that she might just be better off if she did just die. opening fire, on the other hand, never make me feel that way

tho everyone made it sound like when the squad split up it was one of those cursed 'the found family leaves each other at the end of the journey' tropes. but guys i mean,,, this is the second installment out of three. that isnt the End. theyll come back in the third one and Dramatically Reunite to fight some baddies (probably those 'others' noriko mentioned). im guessing yitzhak fits into that too somehow.

anyways it wasnt That Bad but it made me kind of sad and the only Sweet Found Family vibes in it were when they saved booker. also they shouldve beefed up that nilemoose romance, it underwhelmed me. 6.5/10

i also ABSOLUTELY understand all of greg's comments about how you couldnt make FM directly into a movie, he always said that it had no plot and. i get it now. it really didnt have a plot sdfghjkl

#nicoloalkaysani #it took me So Long to type this up #asdfghjk

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transsexualhamlet · 3 years ago

Text

sherlock holmes reactions part 4 (?) ive lost count already but unsurprisingly ive grown even more attached to him

using this as the cover image because i made him a playlist. cause im awful

no legit this is gonna need a read more because it's SO LONG SHIHEWIESHEFSHIEWHF

Had three mental breakdowns this week and realized i do in fact kin sherlock motherfucking holmes. this does not bode well for anything in my life mentally I've diagnosed him with so many things

Oh boy lol you want the list I think hes autistic (undisputed honestly) plus also adhd but on top of that there's the manic depression and uhhh the bpd lmao I dont even think that's it those are just. the obvious ones

But yeah man's a fucking mess and a shit person but in the same way as me so 👍

Some highlights I thought were very funny:

watson: we are in fact going to be waltzing into a place where people are Shooting People you do not have your gun. this is a problem

sherlock: don't worry watson I have my trusty stick!

watson: visible pain

This clearly happens like every day or so with them

but yeah there were some really honestly sweet scenes with them at the apartment and why am i getting soft over the crusty man being gay

have you considered tho. have you considered them

have you considered sherlock, who usually only plays absolute garbage on his violin serenading watson to sleep when he was tired and in pain and watson being so fucking in love with the man and waxing poetic about falling asleep to his music and waking up to see him fallen asleep on the couch next to him and oh my god them

They're just really sweet together for such a completely dysfunctional couple so much of the time lol I just. Sherlock being like.

Sherlock half of the time: watson you're fucking stupid. no i won't take care of my personal needs stfu. watson get a goddamn life. watson shut up. watson no one cares about your goddamn opinion. no i need to disturb you in the middle of the night it's for science. hey watson mind if i manipulate mansplain malewife

Sherlock the other half of the time: HELLO SIR YOU ARE MY FAVORITE MAN TO EVER MAN HELLO MAY I SPEND THE REST OF MY DAYS WITH YOU HELLO I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU WE ARE PERFECT MATCHES I LOVE YOU AND I NEED YOU YOURE SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME PLEASE MARRY ME

They're... they certainly are.

ALSO OH MY GOD.

THIS ONE TIME WHEN SHERLOCK WAS JUST PACING AROUND THE ROOM AT 3 AM GOING "IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE >:(((" AND HUDSON LIKE BARGED IN TO COMPLAIN AND THEN WATSON WAS LIKE DUDE YOU GOTTA STOP DOING THIS AND PROCEEDS TO SAY THE LINE "YOU ARE KNOCKING YOURSELF UP, OLD MAN"

BAHGHSFHGRHEWHEWHIFEW

BRB SOBBING

CALLING HIM AN OLD MAN???? KNOCKING HIMSELF UP?? I DONT KNOW WHATS FUNNIER

The main highlight of this part was I have now gotten to see him have a great time watching his homo homie get married

Its so fucking funny.......

I was prepared for a funny reaction by yuumori sherlock's face when he said it lol but. Damn i was really not prepared tbh

watson: I'm engaged!

sherlock: *pained groaning*

watson: do you... not like her?

sherlock: no she's fine she's great you'll be wonderful together bUT I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE ARE HETEROSEXUAL WATSON DO I HAVE TO MARRY MYSELF THEN WATSON? ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE ME MARRY MYSELF.

watson: yeah... yeah... fair, I feel really bad because you did this whole case and I got a girlfriend out of it and all you got was me leaving you alone fuck man im sorry what are you gonna do without me

sherlock, highly sarcastic: dont worry watson I've always got my handy cocaine! *pulls it out and gets high in front of watson just as he's about to leave*

watson: *in fucking agony*

sherlock: good for you!

I DONT EVEN- THIS SCENE KILLED ME MULTIPLE TIMES OVER WHAT

ITS SO GODDAMN NONCHELANT ABOUT IT SHERLOCK IS JUST LIKE YEAH I WILL IN FACT NOT BE MENTALLY HEALTHY IF YOU ARE NOT WITH ME 24/7 BUT WHATEVER YOU DO YOU /S

I'd like to apologize to watson on sherlock's behalf lmao. man is being a bit too codependent on main

The last thing about sign of four I do need to address is yeah, there's the Horrific Amounts Of Racism in that one and the whiplash hearing it is just ridiculous because they seem to be so knowledgeable in all other areas and fairly... politically correct, taking sherlock's original misogyny as a purposeful character flaw, but then they just mention someone indigenous once and suddenly its all parrotting racist propaganda and just... really awful shit. There's no way I'm gonna speak for the group that just got absolutely hate crimed here but anyone can tell the author just has no clue what he's fucking talking about and it's physically painful.

And I don't know, it's just so bad it seems out of character? Doyle's making these motherfuckers say shit that honestly, Sherlock would know better about. And especially Watson. Come on, you cannot tell me watson is mentally capable of being prejudiced against someone. Please do not make him that way.

I'm not sure how to handle it specifically, or what's the proper way I should handle something like that in a media I otherwise like. Is it ok to say Doyle was clearly a piece of shit on the matter and separate those characters from his bias or is that insensitive?

I don't know, I was Not a fan of it and I'm glad to see they've at least finally shut up about the guy

But anyway yeah, uhhhh onto the short stories because I'm trying to read those before I get to the final problem

Scandal in Bohemia was a fucking ride, first of all, before we even get to Sherlock's girlboss arc we have to discuss how gay the whole situation was and how Doyle's attempt at making them less gay failed spectacularly

Like he's all "ah yes I need to marry off watson and uhhh make sherlock ummmm interact with a woman so they dont look gay" but he does it SO BADLY that it makes them look EVEN GAYER

cause i mean, even the conversation they had about watson getting married back in sign of four was gay af, but how Doyle handled things afterward was in no way straighter.

Cause you know, the man kind of wrote himself into a corner with the fact of Watson narrating these stories. So Watson has to be around to witness them, and to witness Sherlock's own thought process rather privately, so he has to be around sherlock at night, a lot. But trying to come up with a reason for that happening just... it didn't occur to Doyle. He just went. Ah yes this makes sense. And it's Watson just like Sleeping Over At Sherlock's like every other goddamn day and every time his wife leaves town and having them basically still live that cute domestic home life but they have absolutely no excuses for doing it anymore. It's quite funny

Like it was gay already the way they interacted when they officially lived together but it was like, a necessity for them. Now it's not, Watson just comes over because he goddamn wants to, and it's hilarious to me.

LIKE IDK I THINK THEY KIND OF BROKE UP FOR A YEAR OR SO BC OF WATSON GETTING MARRIED AND THEY LIKE DONT HAVE CONTACT WITH ONE ANOTHER BUT ONE DAY WATSON JUST INEXPLICABLY HAS THE URGE TO COME VISIT SHERLOCK ON NO NOTICE AND THEN SUDDENLY THEY ARE TOGETHER NEAR 24/7 AGAIN LIKE BARELY ANYTHING CHANGED AHIEHOEWH

SIT DOWN AND TRY TO TELL ME THOSE ARE NOT HOMOSEXUALS

Watson walks in on no fucking notice after a full year and Sherlock is just. In the middle of some experiment obviously but hes like

Sherlock, carrying around unidenfiable chemical mixtures: W A T S O N you look good you look good! i see you've gained seven pounds!!

watson: uh. thanks??? Hey lol *awkwardly waves* Uh um Wanted to Uhm sEe you

Sherlock: ABOUT gODDAMN TIME AND YES WONDERFUL LOOK LOOK SIT DOWN I HAVE THINGS TO INFODUMP ABOUT

watson: :) ok :) *turns to camera* and we were back to the old days

sherlock: makes a deduction

watson: wowwwwwwwwwwww !! so true bestie !!

sherlock: !!!!!!!!! :))) !!!!! :))) uh fuck im supposed to be smooth Its Elementary Lol

watson: *turns to camera* when i stroke his ego like this and compliment him he blushes like a girl like i just complimented his dress so i do it more because he likes it. this is a homie trait

watson: well i should probably get going! my wife will notice that i am gone my dear buddy bro homie!

sherlock: NO DONT LEAVE IM LOST WITHOUT YOU (pretty much a direct quote lol) your. wife doesn't. get back home until monday. I know this because I am smart and definitely have not been stalking you.

watson: alright :)))))

AND THEN HE FUCKING SLEEPS OVER LMAO FUCKING HOMOS

So yeah they're right back where they were before pretty much and there's a case bc of course there is

And honestly I think this short story specifically was so insane mostly just because of how absolutely fast it all went. Yuumori kind of made me believe the original Irene Adler was more of an important character than she really is? And I think that's. Honestly so funny. Motherfucker shows up for ten pages, girlbosses her way around town, and changes sherlock's entire opinion of the female gender while still keeping him gay?

LIKE NO LOL SHES NOT IN ANY WAY A LOVE INTEREST AND WATSON GOES OUT OF HIS WAY TO SPECIFY THE FACT THAT IN NO WORLD WOULD THEY HAVE BEEN ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED BECAUSE. SHERLOCK. DIDN'T DATE WOMEN.

HE WAS JUST??? SO IMPRESSED AND SHELL SHOCKED BY HER EXISTENCE HE DECIDED IT WAS TIME FOR GIRLBOSS APPRECIATION DAY TODAY AND ALL DAYS HENCEFORTH???

AND THEY HAVE LIKE O N E INTERACTION?? God, the power this woman(?) has. Watson looks at her once like. damb shawty 😳 and she's like "no<3" and he's like FUCK

Like yeah it's pretty much just the king walking up like "help girl the whore is blackmailing me" and sherlock being like "ok lol this will be easy" and then it proceeded to not in fact be easy or even possible

sherlock like... posed as a dead body and tried to get her to give up the location of the photo but she out-acted him and skipped the town the next day after doing the 'good night mr. sherlock holmes' thing with sherlock completely tricked

and she just. sends a letter like "dear sherlock holmes. you're a fucking idiot and i think it's funny that you lost. nice job tho mad respect" and sherlock just SHORT CIRCUITS

the king comes back a bit later like "hey Dude where's my Photo" and sherlock's like oh yeah uhhhhhhhhhhh about that and the king is like HOW COULD IT POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN THAT GODDAMN HARD i would have dated someone more noble if she wasn't so pretty i swear im on a whole different level from her

and then. GIRLBOSSIFIED SHERLOCK HOLMES RESPONDS "from what I have seen of the lady, she seems indeed to be on a very different level from your majesty" ABSEHHESHEFHHFES ROASTED

and the dude just LEAVES

After that I read a few more of the short stories and well the highlights I got from that pretty much were these conversations

Watson: sherlock. honey. have you. eaten anything today

Sherlock: IT DIDNT OCCUR TO ME DEAR WATSON

Watson: ITS FIVE PM

and:

Sherlock: *having one of his Moment Moments at three in the goddamn mornig* GRRRR CRIME ISNT WHAT IT USED TO BE

Watson: MY DEAR SHERCOCK WHAT IS CRIME S U P P O S E D TO BE LIKE ACCORDING TO YOU

Sherlock: no one's original anymore fucking copycats

Watson: so you want the criminals to make things harder for you specifically.

Sherlock, exasperated: yes!

I love them your honor.

#rowan's hyperfixation essays #rowan screams into the void #rowan views moriarty #sherlock holmes

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tofallinlovewithshadows · 4 years ago

Text

Making of Mein Land liveblog

I swear I meant to do this when I desperately needed serotonin, but I was too lazy to open my laptop and go on YouTube

Anyway, thank you to @sine-luce-angor-minus for sending me the recommendations in my time of need! This is one of my favorite music videos and one of my favorite making-ofs, which will hopefully translate in the disorganized mess sure to come

✨on with the show✨

Mm, love me some Reise, Reise

Can this girl teach me how to dance because lord knows I cannot

I love how Rammstein “always wanted to do a beach video.” Like, I would just like to have been a fly on the wall for that collective decision

Fuck, Till looks so good in this video. The bod. The hair. I will not hear any disagreements.

And when he smiles and waves in the little surfboard intro 🥺

Schneider is so horny in this making-of, it cracks me up

The dorky dance moves omg I love these boys so much

The Oli scene. What can I say? Schneider doing the twist, Till heckling him, Paul head banging, Reesh trying to retain his dignity. The only time I ever want to use the phrase, “boys being boys”

Goddamn, Till’s arms...

Mayhaps this is super American of me, but I love Hawaiian shirts lol and they boys looks so cute in them

I love how Flake was straight up not having a good time, and the fact that he does his interviews in the “night portion” costume cracks me up even more

The girls teasing the boys for their dorkiness—just saying what we’re all thinking

Flake is so cute coming out of the van. And he’s the only one who remotely looks like he belongs in a ‘50s beach movie lol

I also LOVE how diverse the cast of girls in this music video is

Schneider’s little giggle 🥲

The Pallid Berliner—I hope his sunstroke wasn’t too bad

God, Paul must have been in heaven that day

Fuck, Lifeguard Till is just... Sorry, I think I’m drowning, pls help, mouth-to-mouth is definitely needed

I love when Oli talks in the making-ofs. Does he talk the most in this one as opposed to the other videos? I feel like he does

As an American, I feel like I need to apologize for David Hasselhoff???

I dunno why, but I love the girl with the raspy voice who talks about their style (the one who brings up Pussy later)

Till’s awkward dance moves—MARRY ME SIR.

Also, he looks SO GOOD in a collared shirt, and this video highlights it

I love how this video was filmed in such a time-crunch. Like, it’s so well-produced, you’d never know

O trusted oracle, please tell me what Till is giving this man all dressed in black right before he readjusts his bathing suit

What a great hairstyle this was on my boyfriend, Till

And yes, these bathing suits are so ugly, but they Work

Hearing him say, “goofy,” never fails to make me smile, especially with his bathrobe and Glasgow smile paint on

I will never get over how much I love that EVERYONE was having the time of their lives while making this video...except for Flake

The boys in plaid... Why do I think this looks so fucking good on them??? Is the problem me? (Probably)

Rammstein brings the best out of everybody. Confirmed.

When they’re pushing each other 🥲 And Till looks so happy 😭

How did I JUST NOW, after having seen this upwards of five times, notice that Schneider is the one who gets taken out with the surfboard lmao

I want to be hugged like this some day, preferably by Richard

I’ve never actually seen the Pussy video lol I worry that I would get too jealous

“Rammsteen”—making all of us Americans look bad (not that it’s a hard thing to do)

“I’ve never done anything like that ... smiling all the time. It’s not my thing!” Oh, Till, how you break my heart

But then he chuckles and I’m filled with joy

Richard and Schneider clapping before they all run off to join the dancers—another thing I can’t believe I’ve never noticed. God, I love these boys

“I like him. He is fun to be with, a nice guy and Swedish.” That’s it, friends, that’s the bar

I wish there had been a storyline in the Ich tu dir weh music video. It was still cool, but I like when there’s a narrative to follow better

I don’t wear make-up, like, ever... But I want to know what lipstick Flake is wearing

The way Schneider’s hair flows in the wind

Who tf do I have to beat up for harassing Till on the beach?

God, his profile is GORGEOUS. It’s so unfair. I look so much worse from the side

Still drowning over here, Lifeguard Till, please come save

Is that Till laughing like that? My God, music to my ears

Does Oli talk more than PAUL does in this?? (Paul’s name wasn’t meant to be all-caps, but my phone autocorrected it and it seems fitting, so I’m not changing it)

Saucy Fruit. My old college nickname.

Seriously, though, what a great point about tone

Oli’s plague doctor get-up

I can’t stop thinking about the point I believe @theelliottsmiths made about one member of the band needing to look bad so the others can shine, and Reesh definitely bit the bullet this shoot. Some sacrifices need to be made

I love the way Schneider waxes poetic in the making-ofs. When I was first getting into Rammstein and trying to figure out who was who and stuff, I always thought of him as “the reasonable one” lmao

Now I know better. There is no reasonable one

I never would have thought of “best-of album=break-up” and I’m glad it’s not true, especially in the boys’ case

God, when still looks at the camera head-on... I feel like he’s the type of guy who makes you feel like the only two people in the world when he talks to you. Such a nice feeling 🥲

This video gives me flashbacks to a group project I worked on in college about the Male Gaze

Ah, talks of touring. Hopefully the world won’t end soon and I can go see these guys sometime

Can you imagine seeing Rammstein and System of a Down at the same concert? I would die. Even though Till has taken over the spot in my heart once held by Serj Tankian. Still...a cold shower would be needed

The success story of these boys makes me so happy 🥲 So proud

#rammstein #till lindemann #paul landers #christoph schneider #flake lorenz #oliver riedel #richard kruspe #mein land #mein land making of #liveblog #I hope this isn’t garbage

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destieltropecollection · 4 years ago

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Destiel Trope Collection 2020 Day 13: First Kiss

AWOL | @madcatm

Rating: General Word Count: 1017 Main Tags/Warnings: First Kiss, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant Summary: The first time Dean kisses Cas, he runs away

Cinnamon and Sugar | @ialwayscomewhenyoucall

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1273 Main Tags/Warnings: mutual pining Summary: Dean has feelings for Cas, but he is afraid to show them. Cas has feelings for Dean, but can't find the right words. So he decides to say it with pie.

A New Year's Kiss | @gii-heylittleangel

Rating: General Word Count: 1274 Main Tags/Warnings: holiday fic; first kiss Summary: Celebrating New Year has never been so good if Dean's being completely honest.

The First and the Fondest | @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1594 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe: Modern Setting, Fake/pretend relationship, First Kiss, Castiel and Dean Winchester need to use their words Summary: "Tonight's fireworks night." Dean shrugs, trying to go for nonchalant and hoping he lands in not-shy, at the very least. "Out by the riverfront, sitting on blankets on the grass, and staring up at the night sky - the whole shebang." "So?" "People will probably expect us to kiss." Dean clears his throat, studying Cas's face for reactions. There's nothing for him there, but he doesn't stop staring. "And since we can't do that, we might -" "I -" Cas interrupts, and maybe he's blushing a little. Jesus, Dean hopes he is. "I can." Dean raises his eyebrows. "Kiss, I mean." And fuck that fucking fucker for not specifying that he can kiss Dean, because those words, strung together in a sentence and delivered in Cas's glorious fucking baritone would've automatically sent Dean to paradise. ~ OR ~ The One in which they pretend to be dating, but the kisses are real.

Wax Poetic | @cr-noble-writes

Rating: General Word Count: 2134 Main Tags/Warnings: love spell, fluff, confessions, first kiss Summary: James and Portia are tired of watching Dean and Cas pine for each other, so James takes matters into his own hands. Or, the one where Cas and Dean can only speak to each other in rhyming couplets and Dean professes his love in a sonnet

Fireworks | @banshee1013

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 2784 Main Tags/Warnings: Fluff and Angst, Mild Smut, First Kiss, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, Reunions, New Year's Kiss, Separations, Flashbacks Summary: Castiel finds himself in Hong Kong on New Year's Eve - alone again, naturally. He never expected in a million years that the man who broke his heart fifteen years ago would turn up here, of all places, on this night.

Consider This: Peanuts | @cr-noble-writes

Rating: No Rating Word Count: 2899 Main Tags/Warnings: fake dating, wedding, biphobia Summary: Dean isn’t sure why he RSVP’d to his dad’s wedding with a plus one, but only a week before the big day, he still doesn’t have a date. So he decides to do the next best thing. He asks his best friend to go with him and pretend to be his boyfriend. Author’s Note:This is unbeta’d. I wanted to get this posted before submissions closed, so I didn’t have time for a beta. But I did manage to get my word prompt from this week and last week in here. Hope you guys like it!!

As Many Kisses As You Want | @gii-heylittleangel

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 4432 Main Tags/Warnings: near death experience; hurt/comfort; angst; hurt!Dean Summary: Dean gets really hurt in a hunt and Castiel has no idea what he's supposed to do. He really doesn't.

Hold onto me, breathe, breathe, you're not drowning | @pray4jensen

Rating: Mature Word Count: 4538 Main Tags/Warnings: First Kiss, Hurt Dean, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Angst with a Happy Ending Summary: Dean grins. “You don’t wanna try it?” Cas rolls his eyes. “These usually work on first sight, Dean, so unless you want me to fall in love with you, I suggest you put it away.” Dean licks his lips. He watches Cas’ mouth. Then he tucks the love potion into the Gross Stuff drawer and turns away.

Anything | @amyoatmeal

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 4578 Main Tags/Warnings: fake relationship, first kiss, fluff, alternate canon Summary: A newly human Cas has never had cake before. Dean's fixing to change that.

Swayze Always Gets A Pass | @amyoatmeal

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 4766 Main Tags/Warnings: first kiss, drunk dean, drunk cas, movie night Summary: After Dean and Cas get into an argument over a case, Dean tries to apologize by asking Cas to Netflix and chill. Featuring: Cas the movie critic, his drunk friend, Dean, and Dean's tired brother, Sam. Told from Cas' awkward POV.

Disappear in the Trees | @specsofwings

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 4817 Main Tags/Warnings: AU, Hunter Dean, Librarian Castiel, Fairy Tale Elements, Psychological Horror, Dean and Cas Have a Profound Bond, Falling in Love Summary: In a library that once entered, can't be exited, Castiel, against his will, works as the lone librarian, doing his best to make the people who wander inside comfortable in their final moments. Forced to weave human lives into storybooks for the library to devour, he hasn't seen the outside world in decades. Enter Dean Winchester. Can the chains of the library hold Castiel with another, more profound, bond forming between he and Dean?

The Beat of Hearts and Wings | @pomegranatedaffodil

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 4857 Main Tags/Warnings: Fantasy AU, Dragons, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss Summary: Dean and Castiel have spent years dreaming of the day they will be assigned their roles at the Draconium, where dragons and humans work, live, and train together to ensure the peace and prosperity of the realm. But when Dean is granted the coveted role of dragon rider and Castiel is assigned to the care of the smallest dragons, their lifelong friendship is suddenly put to the test. With the help of dragons both large and small, surely Dean and Castiel will find their way back to their former closeness-- or maybe even to something more.

Distance | @baby-in-a-trenchcoat7

Rating: General Word Count: 5105 Main Tags/Warnings: Fluff, Mutual Pining, Kissing, Idiots In Love Summary: Canon!verse Destiel. A series of Destiel drabbles inspired by scenes from the show and the lyrics to Distance by Christina Perri, highlighting two adorable idiots falling in love. Spoiler warning: Final section is taken from a scene from season 15.

Not Your Average B Slasher Movie | @deansrightfulangerissue & @unforth

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 5127 Main Tags/Warnings: Referenced Homophobia, Referenced Torture, Alternate Universe Summary: A one-on-one first date at an isolated cabin with love-of-his-life Cas? Sign Dean right the fuck up. Everything is going peachy-keen, until Cas, damn him to hell, just has to go and tell Dean all about notorious local murderer Alastair...

Divine Intervention | @rogueangelshunter

Rating: Mature Word Count: 7548 Main Tags/Warnings: References to Torture, H-e-double-hockey-sticks, Pit!Dean, What Dreams May come inspiration, if everybody gets their own Heaven then I figured everybody would also get their own Hell, and Dean's Hell is a very special place, special hell, Hell is a place, Gore, mcd is Dean way back in season 3, first kiss Summary: God will never get over Dean Winchester.

It's In His Kiss | @a-mandala-rose

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 7877 Main Tags/Warnings: Closeted Dean/Cas, Hockey AU, First Kiss, Secret Relationship, Homophobic Language, Coming Out, Bottom Cas/Top Dean Summary: “Dean,” Cas says, straightening from his position against the wall. “I’m sorry if that kiss made you uncomfortable earlier. That wasn’t my intention.” Direct and to the point, that’s Cas. It’s a trait Dean usually appreciates, he likes knowing where he stands with the man, but right now it’s making him decidedly uneasy. Cas is right of course, the kiss did make Dean uncomfortable, just not for the reasons the other hockey player thinks. As per usual, Dean covers his discomfort with bravado and sass. “Nah, I wasn’t uncomfortable,” he lies. “Besides, you call that little peck a kiss? I hate to break it to you buddy, but Edith the octogenarian kissed better than that.” Cas looks momentarily annoyed with Dean’s obvious deflection, but then his expression clears and he steps into Dean’s space before cocking his head and narrowing his eyes, “Are you criticizing my kissing abilities, Dean?”

Head Over Feet | @jemariel

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 9439 Main Tags/Warnings: Fake dating, first kiss, past Inais/Castiel, semi-public sex, frottage Summary: Castiel's brother is getting married, and Cas's ex boyfriend is in the wedding party. Putting an ad on Craigslist for a wedding date seems like a terrible idea at the time, but one of the responses is... very intriguing... Sparks fly, boys dance, and everybody lives happily ever after.

Love is Scary | @verobatto-angelxhunter

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 9888 Main Tags/Warnings: Destiel, first kiss, love confession, season 13 canon divergent, mutual pining, post AUMichael!Dean, PTSD, angst with a happy ending. Summary: This is a little FF very fluffy with POVs. I wanted to write about Mildred meeting Cas and giving Dean advices. So... Enjoy!

Luminescent | @saltnhalo

Rating: Mature Word Count: 17222 Main Tags/Warnings: Marine Biologist Dean Winchester, Creature Castiel (Supernatural), Deep Sea Adventures, First Meetings, Strangers to Lovers, Romance Summary: Embarking on an expedition to the deepest, most unexplored parts of the ocean is all Dean has wanted to do since he was a kid. Now, his dream is finally coming to fruition, and he can feel in his bones that there is still so much to be discovered. But nothing could have prepared him for what he finds in those uncharted, impossibly deep waters…

#destiel trope collection 2020 #destiel trope collection #destiel #first kiss #day 13

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d00m-d4ys · 3 years ago

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Have more of the best writing you’ll ever get from me, instalment #17 of Stuff I Wanted to Write But I Got Bored And/Or Uninspired, Ready or Not edition. A bunch of loose scenes that i wrote while blacked out and less than in-control of my actions

It started because of Lan Zhan’s roommate.

No, that’s not the nicest way of putting things. It all started because of Lan Zhan’s roommate’s fucked-up family.

Wei Ying first met Wen Ning one summer’s night after a few too many beers and a lot of misplaced confidence. He’d stumbled from the bar and pointed himself in the direction he though Lan Zhan most likely to be, intent on confessing his feelings and then passing out in his strong, caring arms.

The door opened, and Wei Ying threw himself into Lan Zhan’s arms. “I—“ he hiccupped, and briefly had to will himself not to throw up. “Lan Zhan, I love you.”

His eyes — oh, his eyes, he could wax poetic about those eyes all day and all night — were less tired than he would have expected, having woken up so suddenly. “Wei Ying, you’re drunk.”

“But I love you.”

“I know. We’re dating.”

“Oh.” He felt sick again, and had enough sense to distance himself in case he had to vomit. “Then why am I here?”

He remembered. He just didn’t want to think about the photos Auntie Yu had sent, old albums of the days when she and his mom were best friends, before Uncle Jiang had even known her. He took after his dad, but his mother’s smile was a mirror of his own, and in one photo he could see how she rubbed her nose the same way he did.

Lan Zhan guided him to sit on the bed and handed him a bucket, murmuring that he would be back.

His sniffles were much louder in the silence, and after a moment he came to the conclusion that someone else must be just as sad as he was.

He stood and prodded the lump under the second bed’s blankets, kneeling down beside Lan Zhan’s roommate. “What’s wrong?”

The roommate sniffled and huddled lower under his blankets. “Nothing.”

“Nothing doesn’t make people cry.” He paused, turning that sentence over in his head. “Anyways, I can always guess. Are you missing someone?”

The boy shakily sighed. “A little.”

“Aw, me too. Is your person dead too?”

“What? No.” He sat up, drying his eyes and pushing his hair back. “JieJie is fine.”

“You miss your sister? I miss mine too.” He leaned forward and rested his chin on the bed. “Is she far away?”

“No. Just in bad company.”

He could understand that. “Bad company is very sad,” he said solemnly. “I hope she finds better company soon.”

He laughed, enough to stall his tears for a moment. “Me too.”

Wen Qing went white the moment the letter opened, hand quivering as she read its contents.

Wei Ying watched from the table, half-tensed in case he needed to save her from a dead faint. “Everything alright?”

She shoved the letter at him and sat down, breathing hard. “They know.”

“Who knows?” The letterhead was big and firm, Qishan-Wen Entertainment. “Woah, you’re those Wens?”

Her face pinched. “No. We’re not.”

“Then why are they sending you a save the date?” He looked harder. “Hold on, what’s with that? We’re supposed to be sending these out.”

“Fucking assholes.” She snatched the letter back from him and read through again. “How’d they even find out? I was so careful.”

“What’s the big deal? So they’re weirdly overbearing.” He leaned back over. “They chose our venue? And theme? I thought we were doing courthouse-chic.”

Lan Zhan was shamelessly eavesdropping.

He couldn’t help it. Planning for two weddings basically designed to game the student finance system was incredibly dull, even if slightly better accommodations and better loans were an excellent incentive.

His fiancee was in the other room, quietly shouting into her cellphone. “If you consult the family records, you’d see that the Dafan-Wens — my side of the family, if you couldn’t tell — split from Qishan ten years ago. No, sorry, not split: you all disowned us!”

He couldn’t hear the other side of the conversation, but clearly they failed to soothe her temper. “Do not tell me to calm down! We are having these nuptials at the courthouse, and you all are not invited!”

Her phone clattered as she threw it on the table in front of him. “They want the weddings to happen on the manor. They’ve promised to make mine and A-Ning’s lives very difficult if we don’t honour their wishes.”

“Would it hurt?” He’d never imagined a courthouse wedding for himself, when he dared to dream. It’d be nice at the very least to get married in a semi-formal venue.

“They want something else. The venue is just their way of getting it, and I need to know what it is.” She drummed her fingernails on the table. “God, I hate this.”

He reached across the table and touched her wrist, the most physical touch he was willing to supply. “We will protect you and Wen Ning from them. Having a real ceremony would legitimize the proceedings; letting them pay for it is just a means to an end.”

Her shoulders sagged.

The ceremony was beautiful, she had to admit. Her family was surprisingly subdued, although the decorations were overly expensive and clashed with her choice of gown.

As soon as they cleared the aisle, Wen Qing steered the four of them into a side room and made her stance clear. “Time to cut and run.”

“And miss the food?” Wei Ying somehow already had a handful of biscuits, sharing them with Wen Ning. “Come on, it wasn’t that bad, was it?”

Lan Zhan had a small frown on his face. “I didn’t like how religious the service was.”

“Don’t be ungrateful now.”

She whirled on the voice, the little old woman in the doorway not ringing any bells but threatening none the less. “Auntie. We apologize for offending.”

She harrumphed. “We are expecting you in the music room. Come along.”

Wei Wuxian switched places with Lan Wangji, leaning in to whisper as he walked, “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know.” She chewed on her lip, watching as the double doors swung shut behind them. The music room was large and sprawling, most traditional instruments with a piano in the corner. Further on there was a second set of doors, into a room with a large table that looked like a poker table, but with no felt.

Wen Ruohan gestured for them to sit. “We are so happy to see two of our own bring such fine husbands into our family.”

Wen Ning squirmed uncomfortably, and she reached over to take his hand, noting that Wei Ying was doing the same with his other hand.

Lan Zhan took her other hand, paying rapt attention to the long-winded history of Qishan-Wen Entertainment. A box was placed in front of her, smaller than a shoebox but disproportionately heavy.

A moment of looking, and she passed it along to Lan Zhan. He seemed just as disconcerted, passing it along quickly.

“And upon the introduction of new family by marriage, we have always placed a blank card into the device. The device will print a random game on the card, and upon the game’s completion, you will officially be under the Wens’ wing.”

The box was passed back to Lan Zhan, a blank card already loaded. It started to tick with clockwork as soon as he touched it, spitting out a card that he lifted and read with impassive neutrality, “War.”

The game passed as War always did, with aggression and intensity and stuttered laughter. It ended with Wen Ruohan winning, after ten minutes.

The box was then passed to Wei Ying, who just looked excited. At his reading of the card his face lit up with a grin. “I’m the best at Hide and Seek, I’m gonna kick all of your asses.”

The mood of the room suddenly shifted, and she didn’t like it. “How exciting,” Wen Ruohan said, and her stomach felt like she’d swallowed ice.

#ok to rb #fanfic #mzds #cql #wei ying #wei wuxian #lan zhan #lan wangji #wen qing #wen ning #the qishan wens suck: horror movie edition #why are lwj+wq and wwx+wn getting courthouse married?? idk for the funniest possible reason #whatever lwj planned for his life it probably wasnt this thats for sure #wwx: in ten years ill be lan zhans second wife. lwj: what happened to my first wife. wwx: she left you for mianmian 😊#my work

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anditendshowyoudexpect · 4 years ago

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@justanotherfan said in the notes to my Shtolman-Viktor Mironov post: He wants to tell her how he feels and what they can do about their future, but there’re two things that irked me currently in this season. 1. Why couldn’t Anna try to forgive him when he told her contacting her was beyond his power. To me Anna is a bit too prickly at the moment, but of course I’m not the one who had a forced 5 year separation. 2. Why couldn’t he tell her in the vaguest term that he’s working on something covert other than being a police detective again. You know that somehow Anna will be caught up in these things anyway.

~~~

i'm going to make a bit of a mess with these two questions: idk, it's been some day and maybe i just want a distraction, so let's see where they take me.

never having been forced a 5 year separation myself, i can't really put myself in Anna's shoes either. if anything, i'm more of an out of sight out of mind kinda gal, but that wouldn't make much of a drama, well, not for long and probably not too thrilling anyway :D

what i see is a young woman who's hurting too much. she cried in relief in the privacy of her room, and what a heartbreaking scene that was, when everything she didn't let anyone see was out in that gut-wrenching "he's alive!". but if only him being alive was enough. euphoria fades and reality sets in. Anna is older, her heart is wearier. she waited and hoped so long, and now that he's back, surely he will explain, tell her everything, SHARE everything. what does she get instead? the same old story - not yet, i wish i could, i wouldn't have left you if, i'll tell you in ten episodes, all i can offer you is... no, wait, there are a couple of new stories: i hear you see those useful ghosts again, oh and btw do you still have that dangerous folder of mine? it sounds like Herr Shtolman is... using you, doesn't it, my poor baby? all the while waxing poetic about the abyss of your eyes. not cool, Yakov Platonovich.

then the icing on the cake slapped in the face, Anton blabbing, in his usual timely manner, that he saw their former mutual friend visiting a beautiful woman in the middle of the night (speaking of, where were you coming from in the middle of the night, Anton? yeah, he only wants to protect her feelings. just in case. ah, we used to love your innocence and naivety, you former cinnamon roll, you cheese and pickle sandwich gone bad. we still love you, come on, you've always been a cockblock but never on purpose, don't go disappointing us now. for someone who genuinely loves these two people, you seem awfully intent on hurting them both.)

and, you see, Anna, despite her very grown-up makeup and composed demeanor, hasn't really changed much. Anna Viktorovna is so bloody honest that she can't put on a proper act. she wants to look indifferent, but she looks prickly and sulky and gloating and just too fucking much (some of that may be less than fortunate artistic or directorial choice) - she just can't measure it right, okay? maybe if studying wasn't all she did in Paris, she'd be better at it now. i honestly don't know if i'm relieved or concerned. anyway, no wonder her true feelings do come out through the cracks of this occasionally slipping, inexpertly worn mask and Shtolman lights up every time he sees another proof that there's still a chance for him to put on that white bow tie. probably. someday. in thirty-two episodes, hopefully. for now, though, the moment she smiles at him, he does or says something that reminds her that he’s still keeping secrets from her and she’s really sick of those, or if he doesn't, she usually does a good job remembering that herself, our clever girl with the restraint of a straightjacket (the simile is awkward, but you get it, don't you. i mean, if Shtolman was here looking at me like that, there's only one thing he's hiding i'd be interested in, and that thing is no secret. sorry, i've been spending many a night all by my lonesome recently.)

of course, OF COURSE, the almighty writers can't let Shtolman reveal what he's been up to in the past five years and a bit before that or his plans, so it does look ridiculous when Anton (really, Anton, be more jealous) or Anna don't let him finish a sentence. but as much as i love dissing soap writers in general, i have to admit that if he can only offer her vague half-truths at best and she might not accept that, it gives him a pretty good (not really) cowardly excuse to continue keeping his silence. also, his new (or old) business in Zatonsk seems to have something to do with Anna too, and he must be telling himself this is his way of keeping her safe. however, funny thing is he's beginning to see that his continuing silence keeps driving her farther away, say, into the conveniently waiting arms of a younger, clearly richer and seemingly unburdened man who conveniently lives next door, whom Daddy Mironov if doesn't love then doesn't mind much, who has charitable inclinations and who can get her champagne any time. i think he was serious the last time, when he said he wanted to talk, before her charming neighbor showed up to whisk her away. about fucking time. for some reason, he seems to think she's expecting a marriage proposal. many of us are but she isn't, Yakov, m'dear.

she just wants you to trust her like she trusted you.

#detective anna #anna mironova #aleksandra nikiforova #i wanted more gifs for this post #but i'm wiped

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kinetic-elaboration · 4 years ago

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April 3: 2x13 Obsession

Okay, trying this again! My live-blog thoughts from watching Obsession last night. I didn’t remember this ep very well, and I was a little uncertain about it going in. But ultimately I think it was a really solid Kirk episode and a really solid triumvirate episode.

How many times as hard as rock is this mineral you’re looking for? Let’s be precise. (Aka how Spock flirts.)

I’m really into the sets and special effects today. This big rock that is obviously Styrofoam. The ominous cloud of smoke.

Set phasers to disrupter-b? I feel like he just made that up.

Oh no, three red shirts set out on their own! I feel like this one is pretty smart, though.

Leslie!!! RIP my favorite extra.

“Something that can’t possibly exist… but does anyway.” That’s it, that’s the show.

Well Kirk’s obsession is obvious right away. That’s good. We’re getting right to the point.

They have to meet up with another ship in order to transport perishable vaccines!! I know from first-hand experience that that is very important! Get it together Kirk. Admitting straight out, “I’m okay with some other people dying so I can further investigate the monster” is not a good look on him.

Also I feel like TOS often confuses “cure” and “vaccine” (as in Miri) but even if these are actually vaccines, they could still save lives urgently!

McCoy’s autopsy report: uh, just look at their faces??

The Yorktown, the Farragut… someone on the AOS team loved this episode apparently. (I remembered that the Farragut was Kirk’s first assignment but I did not remember the Yorktown.)

Interesting that the creature smells of honey because “rotting honey” was the smell that indicated the presence of Area X in the Southern Reach.

Some gratuitous touching.

When Garrovick Jr. first showed up, the shot was so ominous and dramatic that I legitimately thought that the creature was a shape-shifter and that was him lol.

Is this another episode where Kirk sees himself in a promising young man and then proceeds to judge him incredibly harshly as a way of judging his own past self? I think it might be!

Garrovick looks like he’s sitting in front of a green screen during this interrogation. Honestly, the colors in this episode are really going off in general! I can see how this would be fun to watch on a new color tv.

“Go to your room! You’re grounded!”

“Put it in your report, Spock!” I really wish we’d seen AOS Kirk do that. Like, fighting with reports and regulations is one of my favorite parts of TOS but we only saw AOS Spock use that as a weapon and it was made to show what a stick in the mud he was but like… they all do it! And AOS Kirk should have too.

And now a scene where Spock and McCoy gossip about Spock’s boyfriend.

I honestly love McCoy and Spock scenes. They have such a great rapport… the respect is not even grudging, it’s clearly there, but they make it more palatable to themselves by adding in some barbs and little digs at each other. But it’s still McCoy that Spock goes to when he needs advice or even, as he says here, just someone to bounce an idea off of, and McCoy is there to listen to him.

Oh, Spock definitely understands obsession.

Kirk’s quarters are looking very purple today.

Mccoy is trying to wax poetic and Kirk just wants him to get to the point.

Time to lie down in an Emo Fashion again.

Not to be nitpicky, but if the creature killed 200 people on the Farragut, and that was half the crew… wouldn’t the Farragut be a lot bigger than the Enterprise? I don’t think that’s right. Also, not to be even more nitpicky, but how did they finally get away from it? Did it get on their ship? If it killed all the people on the surface, could they not have just… stopped hanging out on the surface?

Anyway. McCoy is such a good best friend.

Garrovick was Kirk’s Pike.

Oh no, bringing in the big guns: the boyfriend. A blue shirt conspiracy.

Spock sounds like he’s in one of those HR training videos. Like, he’s attempting to sound conversational while still blatantly quoting from the Starfleet Handbook.

“Why are we delayin’ here?” Heavy Southern drawl.

They really are ganging up on him.

Intuition is a command prerogative.

I love how Bones says “We’re not ganging up on you” after a long scene where they gang up on him.

Oh no, the creature’s on the move! Just straight up floating through space. Cool cool cool.

Kirk’s so distracted by the creature that he’s not even looking at Spock’s ass.

Another bad day for Scotty.

I like Chapel but honestly, imagine Rand in this scene with Garrovick… I miss her.

Garrovick, what an idiot. Throwing shit and hitting switches across the room.

I legit don’t understand how the creature moves in space. Or what this has to do with gravity… which doesn’t exist in space.

Monster hunt, monster hunt!

Spock is agreeing with Kirk now, about the creature’s intelligence.

Whatever is going on with the vents in this ship, it seems like maybe they’re not the most well made.

“Let’s just nuke it.” That’s always a good idea.

Spock is trying so hard to make Kirk feel better. Even calling him “Jim”—which he used to do almost every episode and now rarely does anymore.

Lol, now he’s off to try the exact same thing with Garrovick. “If Jim won’t let me comfort him, perhaps this other irrational human will.”

“Garrovick, let me explain your own thoughts and feelings to you. I’m an expert on humans, you know. I’m around them all the time.”

“I know you want to be emo, but could you please just listen to me??” The absolute transparency with which he’s trying to be helpful.

Kindness actually isn’t an emotion… it’s a choice. Spock really will call anything a human emotion in order to avoid having to deal with it.

I'm sorry but he SNAPS THE KNOB OFF, goes "eh," throws it away, and then tries to stop the gas coming through the vent with his HANDS? How did Sarek raise this boy?

Garrovick is so Dramatic. A true Kirk protégé.

The creature tried to eat Spock and Spock didn’t taste so good.

"I'm asking for your military appraisal of the techniques used against the creature." Professor Kirk coming out.

Poor creature was lost, I guess. Just wants to go home.

And SPAWN. That word just gives me flashbacks tbqh…

Kirk and Spock having their usual ‘who will sacrifice himself first’ – off.

Realistically it should be neither the XO NOR the Captain but this is a tv show.

I do remember this part. Carrying that weird little device down to the planet. It is very aesthetically pleasing. I kind of want it for my apartment, to display as like a modern art sculpture. Minus the bomb

Mmm, a delicious snack for the creature. Yum. Got that gross green blood taste out of its mouth.

LMAO at Garrovick trying to be all heroic, knock Kirk out, and become the sacrifice. You thought!!

Spock and Scotty at the controls so you know how serious the transporter situation is.

McCoy versus the transporter again.

"It was my cross-circuiting to B that recovered them." Yes, Spock saved his space husband, he saved the day, and we should all acknowledge it.

Aw, that’s sweet, Kirk volunteering to reminisce with Garrovick about his father.

The end! I ended up enjoying it a lot overall. We gotta stop having episodes where Kirk is questioned or learns lessons though lol. I want my unabashedly heroic captain! Still no matter what he is always a hero in the end. And as I said, really great triumvirate ep with good individual characterizations, and scenes with each part of the triangle together.

If the Farragut incident was 11 years before this, and, as established in the last ep, Kirk is 34, that means he was 23 at the time. Pretty young to be a lieutenant imo. He was also a lieutenant at the time he was teaching Gary Mitchell at the Academy, which I’m going to personally headcanon, starting now, was right after Garrovick’s death. He returns to San Francisco, takes a year or a semester off to teach, and meets Gary.

Next up is Wolf in the Fold, a rare Scotty-centric episode.

#the year 2021 #2021: star trek #2021: fandom thoughts #star trek tos

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sorin-sunchild · 4 years ago

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I’ve certainly talked to death about the flattening of Eddie in the movies and how it makes him out to be a rather unpleasant character most of the time (not entirely, he does have some genuinely nice actions) but I need to talk about the flattening of the entire Losers Club as a unit. By ‘flattening’ I mean that if you view a character and their relationships as a cake, it’s like someone opened a cake box and inside there were just crumbs and a tiny slither of cake. Sure, you got a mouthful of cake, but it’s barely even enough to taste and it’s your birthday, man. Now this could just be me, but in the movies, aside from the few tender and lovely moments that we get where they’re just playing there...seems to be very little chemistry between any of them. Instead of a group of close friends fighting a trouble they’re all connected with because of both morality AND their love for each other, they seem to be just a bunch of people that have to work together and some happen to have been ‘friends’. I’m going mostly based on chapter 1 as well, because chapter 2 really tries to retcon this and give them more time but at this point it feels...weird to think of those things happening ‘when we didn’t see’ because they don’t fit chapter 1′s flow or timeline properly.

Ben and Bev have the best connection out of everyone in the group. They actually have moments together, romantically inclined but sweet. You can see why the two of them would be friends, how they fit together. This version of Bev is also more active in the ‘liking’ and soft bantering with Ben so it works better. I wish everyone else had such connections. Even the Richie and Eddie hammock scene, although it ends sweet, has the flaw of it being the result of uncharacteristic genuine fighting and frustration. Like all those two do is fight fight fight which is NOT sweet or romantic so I can fully see why people don’t ship this Reddie if they’ve only seen the movies. Plus it’s chapter 2 so... Bill is supposed to be the leader of the group that has a natural magnetism. Everyone likes him and he likes everyone and deeply cares for them to the point of being guilty that they’d follow him so willingly. We get a tiny bit of that but a lot of the time it kind of seems like they only want to help because of their own trauma or that he made them feel guilty. I mean, they actually had him and Richie get into a physical fight when these two are so close. Richie really didn’t have any reason to come back, It or no It, because he never even had his own encounter with It, he only did around them, that’s a good incentive to stay away. They literally have no connection with Bill other than ‘we know him and we feel sorry for him, I guess’.

Richie, despite being ‘the funny one’, never/hardly ever gets a laugh from his friends. Go back, have a look. Most of the time they just look disgusted or frustrated. You can argue that this is the reaction Richie wants, but he doesn’t look happy about the result either. The Losers are supposed to find him actually funny most of the time and weirdly charming. The ‘beep, beep Richie’ joke that is almost completely omitted and in ch1 I can’t remember anyone but Pennywise saying it...was because they did sometimes think he went too far. But not all of the time. If you see Richie as having ADHD and even if you don’t, having his ‘friends’ react this way all the time to his best efforts would destroy him. He might still hang around so as to not be alone, but he’d be deeply unhappy. He’d feel like an outcast in his group. I don’t blame them for reacting this way in the movies because in context most of Richie’s ‘jokes’ are bad taste and/or sexual in nature which is super awkward. But it still seems like Richie is an outsider that isn’t genuinely liked and that’s awful. Eddie, despite his passion and his willingness to take care of Ben, is always high strung. He talks about nothing but illness and what people are doing wrong. He’s angry and grumpy a lot. When he’s being playful, he’s also being annoying. The clubhouse scene where we see him break the toy he’s literally being told not to mess with just to have another Richie and Eddie fight scene is just...urgh. Again, it seems like most of the time they’re actually annoyed by him so it’s weird that they wax poetic like they saw him as ‘just looking out for them’ when really they acted more like he was nagging or not even there most of the time. Bev is seen as cool by everyone it seems, which is pretty much on point. Even those who don’t crush on her seem to think she’s pretty special. It’s almost weird giving everything else that this is something that was gotten right. She’s sweet, she’s feisty, intelligent and pragmatic as well as emotional. It makes sense that they’d trust her and want to be friends with her. Hell, this Bev should have been the leader. Mike and Stan...ha, why are they here? They really come off as extra pieces, barely drawn in by having It experiences or being bullied. They so much look like they don’t even want to be there. Especially Stan who is part of the original group of friends, so it’s weird that he’s so stale around them. It’s so awkward and nasty seeing them have basically no connection with anyone else aside from just kind of being there. No wonder I see fanart that interpret one or both as moody and not actually wanting to be there, this is how they come off. Ben seems to just be there for Bev and because they showed interest in him. I’d like to have seen him having more actual fun with them as well, because again they all are supposed to genuinely like him...not just see him as some poor fat kid they had to save who kind of knew some cool stuff about It. Like Ben does some genuinely incredible things we never got to see. And no, the shoehorned in ‘he built them a clubhouse’ in ch2 came too little too late. Since their relationships are so flat, it’s not surprising then (though it is maddening) that they move on so quickly from Stan and Eddie’s deaths and don’t really seem to mourn. Why would they? They’re just a group of people bound together by It and that’s all, where a few of them had romantic feelings for one another so liked that other person a lot. Once more, I’m aware not everyone can read the book but I do implore people to at least like...read the wiki of the events? See if people have posted bits of their actual actions and feelings for each other? Ask people about it? We deserve more than these flat relationships which don’t make sense. We deserve the actual loving and deep bond they all have.

#long post #losers club #the losers club #it movie #stephen king it #stephen king's it

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tragiceyes · 5 years ago

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Recovery

I came across this song by AJR, and it made me think of Jason, so I wrote this lil’ fic. Give it a listen!

Lyrics are interspersed to break up the scenes - sorry this is unedited and sloppy, I’ll clean it up before posting to AO3.

This is a little different from my usual take on Jason. Hope you enjoy it anyway!

I've been so good, I've been helpful and friendly

I've been so good, why am I feeling empty?

I've been so good, I've been so good this year

100mg of Seroquel a day. Because what was the point of cashing in on his little portion of Gotham’s lucrative drug trade if Jason couldn’t buy brand-name?

It made Jason’s stomach hurt, if he didn’t take it with food. So he took it with food.

I've been so good, but it's still getting harder

I've been so good, where the hell is the karma?

I've been so good, I've been so good this year

A hefty dose of Lithium. 1200mg had made Jason feel like the walking dead, so he’d gotten it reduced to 900mg. He took it first thing in the morning, with a glass of orange juice.

And he was on the level all day long.

Why, are you asking me why?

My days and nights are filled with disappointment

Fine, oh no, everything's fine

I'm not sure why I booked today's appointment

Jason never heard him coming, but still somehow knew he was there.

Batman.

“I couldn’t help but notice you’ve gone non-lethal.”

He nodded.

“Any particular reason for this change?”

Jason sighed, too tired to tell him anything but the truth, “I’m trying to be better.”

What, am I normal or not?

Am I crazier than other patients?

Right, I've done everything right

So where's the karma doc, I've lost my patience

“So, this person you’ve been talking about…what did you say his name was?” Dr. Connor reviewed her notes.

“Rick.” Jason mumbled.

“Rick. Were you planning on asking him out?”

Jason stared at the ceiling. The first day he’d come into this office, he’d sat stiffly on the sofa and glared at Dr. Connor the entire time, as if he hadn’t made the choice to be there. To her credit, she hadn’t been put off by his rudeness. She’d let him sit, talk only to the degree to which he was comfortable.

And now here he was, lying flat on his back, staring at the ceiling, glowing in the ambient, calming soft lighting.

“Why would I do that, Doc?” Jason replied listlessly.

Dr. Connor crossed her legs, “Well, you certainly talk about him a lot. And I think he’d be charmed by the way you wax poetic about him.”

Jason snorted in amusement. He marveled at how far he’d come. All the furniture was still in one piece, and he hadn’t stormed out, red-faced and enraged.

“Actually, knowing him, he’s probably heard it all before. He’s always had a long line of suitors willing to wax poetic, paint portraits, slay dragons…”

She chuckled good-naturedly, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained, Jason. For all you know, he waxes poetic about you.”

Jason highly doubted that. “I already asked him out, Doc…and he shot me down cold.” He blushed a little in shame. It didn’t matter how many sessions he had with Dr. Connors, rejection was never fun to relive. “He doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

“When did this happen?”

“A while ago, way back before…all of this,” Jason waved casually around the therapist’s office, the photographs of beaches, the soft-colored painted walls, the stress toys he’d broken all too many times. “Not that I blame him for telling me where to shove it. I kind of, well…I didn’t handle it well when he said ‘no.’”

He looked up at her. Her pen was poised on her notepad. She gave him an encouraging smile.

He let out a sigh.

Red Hood and Nightwing had teamed up for at least six missions at the point that Jason had decided it was time to shoot his shot. The Lazarus Pit had taken pretty much everything from him, everything except the long-buried crush he’d harbored for his predecessor since the ill-fated Robin years.

But Jason wasn’t Robin anymore, and he could tell there was something between the two of them. Something in the way Dick smiled at him made Jason want to devour him, and see what that smile tasted like. Something in the way Dick swung through the night made Jason want to tackle him onto a rooftop, pin him down, and not let him get away. Being around Dick made Jason felt like a dog chasing cars. Only he was pretty sure he’d know what to do once he caught this one.

And he was planning on catching him. Jason showed up to Dick’s apartment unannounced, and swaggered his way inside when Dick opened the door to him, a confused look on his handsome face.

“Jason…what are you- I mean, what brings you here?”

“Came looking for you, Dickie-bird.” Jason replied with a smirk, not looking at him.

Dick looked like he didn’t really know what to say to that. He moved to walk past Jason, but Jason’s arm shot out to block his way.

“Stop playing hard-to-get, Dickie. It doesn’t suit you.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” Dick replied easily, but Jason caught the way he bit his lip nervously.

“I mean you…and me.”

“Jason-“

“Don’t try and deny it.” He was fully boxing in Dick now, his arms on both sides.

Dick squirmed uncomfortably, “Jay…”

“Come get dinner with me,” Jason continued recklessly, “or, if you want, we can skip straight to dessert…”

Jason didn’t really remember what happened next, but he knew it was some embarrassing combination of himself leaning in to kiss Dick, Dick rebuffing him, and then Dick gently explaining his reasoning.

But Jason hadn’t heard anything past the rejection, and the rejection was blistering and hurtful and humiliating.

And so, as Jason was known to do, he flew off the handle.

“So you were just flirting with me for shits and giggles, I guess?! I should have know you were like that with everyone. Fucking slut!”

Dick looked at him in shock, “Okay, you need to leave now.”

“Fuck you!”

Jason swung a fist at him, but Dick ducked beneath his arm and used his momentum to grab Jason and pin him against the wall, arm behind his back. Jason let out a curse in anger, and swung violently enough to knock a glass jar off a nearby table. Dick’s other hand quickly gripped the back of his shirt and kept his face pushed against the wall.

“JASON. You need to listen to me right now.” Dick’s voice was angry and commanding and Jason hated him.

Under normal circumstances, Jason would have forced his way out of the grip, even if it meant breaking his own arm in the process, just to get back on the offensive and attack Dick with everything he had. But this time, something gave him pause.

“You don’t get to barge into my apartment and get aggressive with me. You don’t get to throw a fist a me when I reject you. You need to learn how to listen before reacting. Did you even hear what I fucking said, Jason? You stubborn asshole!”

Jason didn’t respond, but Dick wasn’t waiting for him.

“Your anger is out of control. You know what you need to do to get right. You’re going to leave my apartment now, and you are not coming back here until you do what you need to do.”

How someone could manage to be both cryptic and totally condescending was beyond Jason. Not that he could say as much in his current position.

Dick tightened his grip slightly before loosening it, “Don’t try and hit me again, Jason. I’ve been doing this longer than you have.”

But Jason wasn’t planning on it - he knew when he’d been bested. And he obediently walked out the door, red-faced and shamed.

“You know, it’s not so easy, Dick!” Jason cried hoarsely, “It’s really...it’s really fucking hard!”

Dick looked back at him coolly, “I know.”

And he closed the door.

Even as he recounted the story to the one person he knew wouldn’t judge him, Jason couldn’t help but feel a bit of a lump in his throat. He’d really screwed up that one.

“Tell me what you’re feeling right now.” Dr. Connors encouraged him.

“I can’t believe I did that.” Jason said, and to his horror, he felt his eyes get damp, “I can’t believe I threw shit and tried to hurt him for not wanting to date me. It’s fucking embarrassing to be such a shitty person all the time.”

“You’re not a shitty person, Jason,” She cut in, “Yes, you lost control in the moment. But you’ve been trying to battle these moods and symptoms on your own your entire life. Do you have any idea how hard that is? It’s not something everyone can do, and it certainly isn’t something most people can understand.

You have an illness, Jason, and you’re working hard to get better. If you were in this same situation again today, I have no doubt you’d be able to recognize the signs of an episode, and prepare accordingly. Either by tempering your anger, or removing yourself from the situation. Give yourself some credit.”

“But it doesn’t matter,” Jason said listlessly, “yes, I’m a lot better now. The meds and the therapy have been helping. I’m more level-headed and stable than I’ve every been before in my life. But it doesn’t matter, because I can’t take back what I did, and I blew my shot with him. He doesn’t want me around, and I don’t blame him.”

“Maybe he’ll forgive you. Have you tried to apologize?”

Jason shook his head. He couldn’t face Dick.

She didn’t let him off, “You should go to him and apologize. With sincerity. Mental illness can be an explanation for poor behavior, but it’s never an excuse. And since it sounds like he’s the one who convinced you to seek treatment in the first place…”

Dick’s words in his mind like a plea or a prayer.

You know what you need to do to get right.

He’d been right.

I've been so good, I've been working my ass off

I've been so good, still, I'm lonely and stressed out

I've been so good, I've been so good this year

What kind of idiot was Jason anyway? He’d been rejected once, twice, it might as well have been a thousand times.

Yet here he stood once again, right outside Dick’s door. This time he knocked.

Dick answered. Jason was staring at the floor.

“Jason.”

You say that I'm better, why don't I feel better?

The universe works in mysterious ways

But I'm starting to think it ain't working for me

He forced himself to meet Dick’s gaze.

“I’m sorry, Dick. I’m really sorry for the way I treated you. You didn’t deserve it, and I want you to know that I appreciate you trying to help me and I am trying to get better. I’m trying to be better.”

He swallowed, unsure of how to continue, “I-“

“It’s okay, Jason.” Dick replied simply, “I forgive you.”

Jason paused, feeling slightly wrong-footed.

“You seem calmer on patrol, and off it too. You’re no longer shooting to kill, rarely shooting to maim. I know you’re putting in a lot of effort, and I’m proud of you, Jason.”

“Oh. Um, well…good.” He said awkwardly, “Thanks.”

He’d done what he came to do. He turned to walk away.

“You came all this way,” Dick called breezily, “wasn’t there something you wanted to ask?”

Jason stared back at him, dumbfounded. A little part of his brain lit up with a memory of the night Dick had rejected him.

Dick had rejected him. But he’d said, “I can’t be with you, Jason. I want to, but I won’t, not before you see someone. You’ve been through a lot of shit, and you’re dealing with a lot of anger. I think you need to work on that before you enter a relationship with anyone.”

But Jason hadn’t heard any of it, not at the time. Rather, he hadn’t been listening.

“Well, now that you mention it…” Jason was blushing again. But this time he was smiling, too.

He could do this.

“…you free tonight?”

Doctor, should I be good?

Should I be good this year?

Dick smiled back.

#jaydick #my writing #angst #cw mental health

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quickspinner · 5 years ago

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Hey Gorgeous - Under Your Skin 17

The club was crowded, but Marinette found a table, and waited for Luka to find her. She wasn’t sure how he always managed to find her in a crowd, but within minutes he was beside her, oblivious to the jaws that dropped as he walked by in his tight jeans and the shirt she’d made for his birthday, perfectly fitted and artfully ripped, with his band logo loud and proud on the front. He looked fantastic in it and she wished she could upgrade his whole wardrobe. Luka might wax poetic about her beauty but he was a damn fine specimen himself in her opinion—an opinion that had been shared by several other girls she’d passed on her way into the club.

“I’m glad you made it,” Luka grinned, taking her hands as she got up to greet him. “I missed you, babe.” He kissed her cheek, and then her shoulder. “You know what these backless shirts do to me,” he sighed, slipping one hand around to stroke her bare back lightly.

“I know,” she said cheekily, leaning into him. She’d chosen the slim pants and glittery red halter top, and worn her hair up so her neck was exposed, expressly to make it as hard for him to keep his hands to himself as possible. They hadn’t been able to see each other much during the break and she was hungry for his touch. “How long until your set?”

“I only have a few minutes,” he said, regretfully, waving over a short, dark-haired man with a cheerful face. “I just wanted to introduce you to—Hey, Evan, this is Marinette. Marinette, Evan. He’s probably one of my oldest friends and the only one that always kept in touch no matter how often mom dragged us across the world.”

Evan set his beer on the table and offered his hand with a wink. “I'm here to embarrass him.”

“H-hello,” Marinette smiled, shaking his hand. “Nnnice to mmmeet you.”

“Likewise, Luka’s been talking about you nonstop. Here, I brought you a drink." He set a cocktail in front of Marinette but before she could say anything a hand closed over the top of the glass.

"Don't drink that," Luka said sharply, sliding it away from her. "Never drink anything you don't see made in front of you."

"Luka," Evan complained, "You're going to make her think I'm a creep."

Luka rolled his eyes, picked up the drink, and downed half of it. "I trust Evan with my life," he told her, putting the glass back down on the table with at thwack. "And Juleka's. And you still shouldn't drink anything you don't see made in front of you. And you—" He pointed at Evan warningly. "Have heard me give this speech to Jules enough times to know better."

"Yeah, yeah, I forgot," Evan sank down in a chair, pouting. "I was excited. We haven’t been able to hang out in ages and from the way you talk about her, I was pretty sure you were dating Wonder Woman.” He grinned. “She’s a little short for an Amazon though.”

Luka snorted and shoved him down into a chair. “Get used to it,” he told Marinette. “He only gets worse with time. If you need to kick his ass, don’t hold back on my account.”

“You’re such a good friend, Luka,” Evan laughed. “Supportive, caring—“

“Happy to call you on your bullshit,” Luka interjected with a grin. "Come on, Gorgeous.” He tilted his head toward the bar. "Evan can hold the table while we get you a drink. Victor doesn't know nearly as many embarrassing stories about me, anyway."

Giggling, Marinette followed him to the bar and let him buy her a fruity cocktail that was more juice than alcohol, just like she preferred. “Do me a favor, keep an eye out for my girl tonight?” Luka said as the bartender mixed the drink.

“Sure thing, Luka,” Victor said, sliding the glass across the bar to Marinette.

“I c-c-can t-take care of mmmyself,” she grumbled as she picked it up.

“I know,” Luka cupped her cheek. “I just feel better if I know Victor’s watching your drinks. He knows all the tricks. There’s a lot of people here tonight and I want you to be safe.”

He walked her back to the table, glanced around and then leaned close. “I know how you feel about public kissing but can we make an exception this once? I don’t like the way the sharks are circling,” he said low in her ear, eyeing a couple guys at the next table who were staring rather openly at her ass. “I know you can take care of yourself, but your dad’s only just warming up to me and I don’t want to explain to him why I had to bail you out of jail for breaking some jerk’s arm.” He grinned. “Not to mention I just really, really want to kiss you. You’re so beautiful, Marinette.” Marinette set her drink down and slid her hands up his chest and around his neck, and he swayed in place a little, eyes going half-lidded for a moment.

Marinette loved her effect on him. He put his hands on her hips and squeezed and she bit her lip. She loved his effect on her too. “It’s not going to be much of a rule if we keep making exceptions,” she teased, and then he hit her with those soft blue bedroom eyes. “But okay,” she finished, a little breathlessly, and he wasted no time bending to claim her mouth, both hands sliding up to her back, one going high enough to stroke the back of her neck the way she liked. Oh, she’d missed this so much. She tightened her arms around his neck, enjoying the gentle way he cradled her even as he passionately staked his claim. He made it easy for her to be bold because she always felt safe with him.

“Sorry for going all caveman,” he panted when they parted, “But hopefully that’ll make some of ‘em think twice. We’ll find somewhere private later and I’ll be more thorough, I promise.”

“Mmm,” Marinette said dreamily, cuddling up against his chest. “I don’t mmmind this once. I’m happy to send a message to all those g-girls I passed mmmaking plans to hit on the hot guitarist playing t-tonight.” She felt his laugh rumble in his chest and smiled.

Luka squeezed her close and then sighed, letting her go. “I have to go, Gorgeous, they’re going to want me on stage in a minute. And as much as I love the music we’re making, I do kinda have a commitment.”

“I kn-know,” she sighed, pulling a compact out of her purse to fix her lipstick.

“We’ll have a break halfway through our set, I’ll try to come find you—what—”

He cut off in a small whimper as Marinette, a fresh coat of red on her lips, rose up on her toes and caught his collar. She moved it aside and laid a kiss just below his collarbone, leaving a red lip print behind. She let his shirt settle back into place to cover the mark.

“Fuck,” he muttered. “You’re killing me, Gorgeous.”

“Just mmmaking sure you don’t forget to who’s w-waiting for you.” Marinette winked.

“Babe,” he said tenderly, all the teasing gone out of his voice. “I would never. You know that, right?”

Marinette smiled as he kissed her temple. “You b-better go, J-j-juleka’s glaring,” Marinette said, giving him a little push, though she really just wanted him to fold her up in his arms and kiss her all night.

“Right,” he sighed. He kissed her forehead. “Don’t believe anything Evan says about me.” He turned to elbow his way through the crowd to where Juleka was waiting for him. Marinette giggled when Juleka grabbed his arm to keep him from going on the stage, and wiped his face roughly with her sleeve before she let him go up the stairs.

Then his words sunk in and she whirled to see Evan grinning at her over the rim of his beer, clearly having seen the whole display, and she turned as red as her shirt as she slid back into her chair.

“Well,” Evan chuckled, “That explains the constant shit-eating grin he’s had lately.”

@thethirdwheelfriend @mystery-5-5

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