#ossifer plumm

[targsource]

TARGARYEN PORTRAITS: PART 7

by riotarttherite on twitter

featuring: Ser Jon Waters (1), Lady Jeyne Waters (2), Lord Ossifer Plumm (3), Lord Viserys Plumm (4), Lord Ronnel Penrose (5), Lord Robin Penrose (6), Lady Laena Penrose (7), Lady Jocelyn Penrose (8), Lady Joy Penrose (9), Ser Michael Manwoody (10)

[highgardenart]

Lord Ossifer & Lord Viserys Plumm

“Her first marriage was in 176 AC, to the wealthy but aged Ossifer Plumm, who is said to have died while consummating the marriage. She conceived, however, for Lord Plumm did his duty before he died.”

[jays-asoiaf-reblogs-and-archive]

Art by Jota Saraiva

[sarcasticsweetlara]

Houses and Families

192 AC

Rhaena had arranged for Viserys to court Lady Agatha Plumm.

Agatha Plumm was the granddaughter of Lord Albert the brother of the late Lord Ossifer Plumm.

Lady Agatha had been a witness to Viserys' training, good capabilities as well as his mine management, she had her own castles as a courtesy of her granduncle, and she had also been a lady in waiting to the Princess Daenerys Targaryen.

The match of Agatha and Viserys was a good one, it would help both House Plumm and House Targaryen, and remove any stain of distrust the Plumms had.

Now, they only had to wait two months for Viserys to turn six and ten in order to marry them.

Rhaena was helping in all she could with aid from her cousin Laena Velaryon while they were in one of the solars in Plumm Castle. Laena was looking at the costs of the wedding and Rhaena the decorations and accommodations for the assistants, the wedding was being made in the Westerlands and Viserys helped Laena and Rhaena understand the customs of the Westerlanders.

"So, they want a luncheon in front of the sept?" Laena, who was sitting at Rhaena's left side and reading the petitions of Agatha's household, asked and Rhaena nodded.

"Yes, and Agatha wants her maiden cloak to be made of linen, not silk, same with the marriage cloak"

As Agatha and Viserys belonged to the same house, there would be need of two cloaks bearing the sigil of House Plumm to symbolize Agatha would leave her father's branch of the family to now and henceforth be part of Viserys' branch.

"Had they been born in House Targaryen or Velaryon there would not be a need for cloaks ; they only would have to wear clothes in our houses' colors alongside dragonglass jewelry in the shape of dragons or seahorses or they could simply have just a Valyrian ceremony."

"Yes, but they are Plumms, and that removes a Valyrian ceremony or House clothing and jewelry out of the question."

"Yes, you know, Viserys and Agatha are already close so I hope they have a good marriage." Laena grinned at Rhaena.

"Let's hope so, and if not, we need to remind Viserys about the marital treatment his wife deserves."

At that moment Elaena appeared in front of them standing next to the open door and as Laena's grin dropped Rhaena smacked her forehead mentally, she should have foreseen Laena would not like being near Elaena, even if she was helping in her son's wedding.

Laena was still mad at Elaena for having had an affair with her father during her mother Baela's last days and continuing it after she died before Alyn got lost in the sea.

"Elaena! What are you doing here?" If they quickened whatever Elaena wanted to discuss they would not fight.

"I wanted to check how you are doing, and if there is a problem with Agatha or Viserys." Elaena spoke as she tried to have visual contact with Laena but Laena immediately dropped her gaze to the parchments in her hands.

"There is none, everything is going well, or do you have any doubt in our efforts?" Laena answered curtly.

"No, there is no doubt Laena, but I wanted to thank you for helping my son on his special day."

"How could I not? After all, Viserys was fostered by me during three years under Rhaena's guiding, it's the least I could do for my best friend's nephew."

Small and subtle jab, Laena was surely clever. Rhaena wanted to answer but Elaena beat her to it.

"I thank your concern for my son, he likes you a lot" Elaena replied as she tried to get closer to Laena without her noticing it and exploding. "His siblings are glad to know you are helping him."

"That's nice of them" Laena replied back and a strand of silvery-white hair fell from her loose bun shielding her face from Elaena.

"Will your brother come to Viserys' wedding?"

"Well, my brother from my mother's womb will come I can assure you, his family and him developed affections for Viserys when he was at High Tide, why the question Elaena?"

"Well, I was wondering if you would like to have Jon and Jeyne sitting with you."

That made Laena lift her gaze and glare at Elaena, and Rhaena witnessed a pair of furious pastel purple eyes staring into the hopeful lilac ones.

"Why would you think that?"

"It's been a long time since they last saw you all and they just want to spend some time with their older siblings."

"We know they exist and have already accepted them as my father's children, they do not need to ask for more from House Velaryon."

Rhaena knew Elaena was well aware of that already; Rhaena had paid the Velaryons in gold the weight of the twins when they were born, and as Rhaena had planned to help Elaena raise them and building a sept of their own for Jon and Jeyne, Laena asked her to first spend a whole year in Driftmark overseeing the construction of new properties for her Velaryon cousins atoning for what they deemed a betrayal, Viserys being a squire for them was also a condition the Velaryons had set in order to forgive the Targaryens.

"As I told you, they just want to spend time with their siblings, they haven't seen you in ages, please Laena, it's for the best of us."

Laena clenched her jaw and placed her fist under her chin as she pondered, displaying her famous clawed scar that laid in her left arm since her monstrous dragon-like wyrm had attacked her, and Rhaena was silently praying Laena would no longer harbor such a deep hatred for her half siblings. Whatever had happened between Elaena and Alyn did not need to affect the relationship between their children.

"They may" Laena sighed and Elaena gave her a small smile as Rhaena was secretly grinning for Laena seeing the light. "They will be seated two seats away from the great-grandchildren of Daemion Velaryon though, and they will have to address us as my Lady and my Lord and they can not wear House Velaryon's colors."

"I will make sure of that, thank you Laena." Quickly Elaena left and Rhaena felt she could breathe again.

"I have to admit… I didn't think you would accept, why did you do it?" Rhaena snickered.

"Does accepting your nephews in their own brother's wedding bother you?" Laena's attention was back at the parchments.

"No, but since you are helping with the organization of the wedding and your siblings will attend I didn't think you would want to sit near Jon and Jeyne."

"Those kids have Velaryon blood, I will not deny it, but I can not forgive their mother for having laid with my father while my mother was sick, she disrespected her and those kids are the proof of that."

While it was true Alyn had not been exactly a faithful husband, he had gone back to Driftmark to bury Baela and before Alyn left for his not yet known last voyage he said he needed to be in the sea to clear his mind. Elaena had hoped to marry Alyn after he returned but he never came back, and Laena refused to talk to Elaena after that and refused to help in the funds for the raising of Jon and Jeyne.

Rhaena thought that was because it was far easier for Laena to hate Elaena than blame her deceased lost in the sea father for having cheated on Baela.

"Are you finished? It would be good to rest a little for you Rhaena?"

"No, I want to make sure everything is in order once again."

"More work for Rhaena The Pious Targaryen then?'' Laena snorted, sputtering Rhaena's sobriquet that the smallfolk gave her. "How is it you gained that sobriquet?"

"Well, just when I became a septa I stopped a fight between a septon and a mass of smallfolk who did not want to pay the taxes that man was asking."

"How did you stop him?"

"I told him the gods would not induce such heavy taxes on people who work hard every day to bring food to their tables."

"Ooh! That's my bad girl!" Laena chuckled and Rhaena rolled her eyes.

…

Days later Viserys and Rhaena were joined by the rest of the royal family having a celebration dinner to wish Viserys the best as he would marry Agatha and wanted to meet the maiden who would be Viserys' side.

Rhaena felt a wave of nostalgia as she saw Daeron's children who she had helped raise now with their own wives and children; Maekar and his wife Dyanna Dayne -a lovely maid who had been Maekar's friend since childhood- had had a baby they named Daeron in honor of the King. Rhaena was happy Maekar got to marry for love, as he had always been dutiful and self-demanding, he deserved to be happy.

Rhaena already had organized her nephew's wedding but she still felt that Viserys was a little boy who asked her to sing him before he slept and now he was getting married.

"Aunt Rhaena!" Rhaegel shouted drifting from his wife Alys Arryn who was barely showing her pregnancy.

Rhaena loved spending time with Rhaegel, he looked so much like his father Daeron and was the calmest prince as well.

"Rhaegel! How are you?"

"I've been fine, Alys is pregnant and I can't wait to meet our little dragons"

"Dragons?"

"I think we are having twins."

"That's wonderful! Congratulations Rhaegel."

Rhaena sat by Rhaegel's side and they continued talking as they ate, relishing in their stories.

"... And you won't believe it, the other day I saw the ever-serious Maekar laughing to one of Dyanna's japes." Rhaegel laughed and Rhaena widened her eyes as she chuckled. Maekar was famous for being serious, but it seemed married life had made him way happier than what everyone expected.

"Well, that's certainly a miracle." Rhaena snickered.

…

After dinner finished Rhaena went for a walk in the gardens where she found her soon to be good-niece sat in the godswood dressed in a black coat, her dark cinnamon brown hair was let loose.

"Agatha" The young woman looked over her shoulder and smiled at Rhaena.

"Hi Rhaena" she said.

Something that Rhaena liked about being a septa is that she no longer had to worry about formality.

"Does it bother you if I join you?"

"Of course not, no one can deny how peaceful the godswood is."

"Yes, it's true" Rhaena said as she sat next to Agatha.

"You know, there are stories told by the bards that say we Plumms actually come from the Age of Dawn, I don't really know if it's true but if it is then I am grateful we still worship the Old Gods from time to time as the First Men did."

Agatha showed Rhaena the book she was holding which pictured a Child of the Forest and one of the First Men.

"Do you think Viserys won't mind if I still pray to the Old Gods?"

"Agatha, you know Viserys, as long as you are happy he will not have any problem, he may believe more in the New Gods but he will always respect you if you don't do it."

"Thanks, I'm nervous, I hope our marriage will be a good one and that Viserys will be a good father."

"Viserys' father may have died long before he was born" As they all said it happened when his biological father had actually been the deceased king that was now remembered as the Unworthy "But my sister raised him well, he will be good to any children you have."

"I'm not saying everything will be perfect, but I know you will overcome any obstacle that may appear."

"Thank you, I hope I can make him happy."

"You will."

Rhaena gave her a smile that Agatha replied and in that moment Rhaena was no longer afraid for Viserys and Agatha.

…

The wedding was a grand event.

There were bards and singers, flowers brought from the Reach, certain jewels made of dragonglass were also on display and many Lords and Ladies had come to attend the wedding.

Rhaena was in Agatha's room where her maids were finishing her make up and being careful not to damage the delicate braid they had made, Agatha's hair looked lustrous as they had applied many oils and it complemented her ivory wedding gown that carried diamonds and rubies that was covered by the cloak of House Plumm.

"I think that's all, thank you, you all can leave" the maids curtsied and left at Rhaena's command.

"How do I look?" Agatha uttered

"Like a princess" Agatha scoffed but chuckled at Rhaena's jape, neither Viserys nor Agatha had looked at each other during the last week and the nerves were gnawing them but now in this very day they would be married and would spend the rest of their lives together.

At that moment they heard a knock and as Rhaena opened the door she found her sister Elaena and Lord Albert Plumm who slowly entered the room. Elaena smiled at Agatha and joined their hands to squeeze them.

"I have a gift for you" Elaena got her hand in the pocket of her gown and revealed a necklace made out of yellow diamonds that carried an amethyst, Rhaena knew Elaena was doing it to show House Plumm she would not interfere with Agatha's ruling as the Lady Plumm more than she already did and to show her loyalty to the Westerlanders.

"It's a lovely necklace, thank you your grace"

"I am to be your good-mother, just call me Elaena."

As soon as Elaena put on Agatha the necklace Lord Albert sighed and hugged his daughter, once they both pulled apart, they all walked out of the room to go to the sept where Viserys waited.

Viserys looked handsome too, like a knight out of a fairytale and was beaming radiantly once he looked at Agatha in the sept. Lord Albert walked her to the dais and removed the maiden cloak so that Viserys could now cloak her thus symbolizing Viserys and Agatha would now form a new branch of House Plumm.

Rhaena let herself look her surroundings: Jon and Jeyne were sat near their siblings, Elaena and her husband Ronnel Penrose were sat with their four toddlers, the copper brown haired Robin and the platinum haired Laena, Rhaena was sure Elaena named her second daughter like that to regain their cousin's esteem, who both had sparkling purple eyes, and the dark silver haired Jocelyn of light brown eyes while the dark red haired Joy had deep wine-purple eyes; Rhaena also had noticed her cousin the King Daeron and his family were attending the wedding too.

Rhaena could now let herself smile, everything was well.

[applesanddragons]

Aegon the Unworthy, A Study in Historiography: Chapter 3 - Plumming the Depths

Previous: Chapter 2 - The World of Ice and Fire

I'll begin with the situation I referenced in chapter two as an example of a "Misrepresentation" kind of unreliable narration.

>Aegon soon filled his court with men chosen not for their nobility, honesty, or wisdom, but for their ability to amuse and flatter him. And the women of his court were largely those who did the same, letting him slake his lusts upon their bodies. On a whim, he often took from one noble house to give to another, as he did when he casually appropriated the great hills called the Teats from the Brackens and gifted them to the Blackwoods. For the sake of his desires, he gave away priceless treasures, as he did when he granted his Hand, Lord Butterwell, a dragon’s egg in return for access to all three of his daughters. He deprived men of their rightful inheritance when he desired their wealth, as rumors claim he did following the death of Lord Plumm upon his wedding day. (—Maester Yandel, TWOIAF: The Targaryen Kings: Aegon IV p95)

The last sentence is the only one I'll examine for the duration of this whole chapter.

First, I want to quickly point out that this criticism comes as part of a group. The group creates the sense that we need not bother looking into the specifics of any one particular criticism, because even if only one of them is true then Aegon IV was a very bad person, and because that general assessment of Aegon is constant with almost everything else that can be read about him. But for now, let's pluck this one accusation out of the group and see how it holds up to scrutiny.

>He deprived men of their rightful inheritance when he desired their wealth, as rumors claim he did following the death of Lord Plumm upon his wedding day. (—Maester Yandel, TWOIAF: The Targaryen Kings: Aegon IV p95)

The accusation is that, following the death of Lord Plumm upon Lord Plumm's wedding day, Aegon IV desired the wealth of men and deprived those men of their rightful inheritance. The first thing I want to find out is who those men were.

A Victimless Crime

Who were the men or man that was deprived of his rightful inheritance?

Presumably, the man who was deprived of his rightful inheritance was a son of Lord Plumm, but possibly not, so it's good to check and make sure. When I look at the House Plumm family tree on the Westeros.org wiki, I can see that the name "Lord Plumm" is referring to Ossifer Plumm, because Ossifer was the lord of House Plumm at the time. And since Ossifer is already the lord, he can't be the Plumm who was deprived of his rightful inheritance, because he already inherited the lordship. So the man who was deprived of his rightful inheritance must have been Ossifer Plumm's son, Viserys Plumm.

When I check Viserys Plumm's wiki page, I can see that Viserys Plumm became Lord Plumm next after his father Ossifer. So Viserys Plumm can't be the man who was deprived of his rightful inheritance, either.

Then who was the man or "men" who was deprived of his rightful inheritance? Ossifer Plumm didn't have any other children, and Viserys Plumm didn't have any siblings. What the heck is going on?

The next Plumm in the line of succession after a son is a brother. But Ossifer Plumm didn't have any brothers, either.

There are two Plumms on the Plumm family tree who are not connected to any other Plumms. Those are Petyr Plumm and Maynard Plumm.

When I look into Petyr Plumm, I learn that Petyr Plumm is not a real character. Nothing about him is written and he's nothing more than a drawing in a graphic novel who needed a name.

Since I've read the three Dunk and Egg books, I know that Maynard Plumm is a real character, but he's not a real Plumm. Maynard Plumm is the made up identity of Brynden Rivers, who you might know better as Bloodraven. So Maynard can't be the man who was deprived of his rightful inheritance either, because since he's not a Plumm it wouldn't have been rightful for him to inherit House Plumm.

With all the existing Plumms ruled out as the man who was deprived of his rightful inheritance, I'm feeling lost and confused.

I remember that there was a situation with Ossifer Plumm that was described in King Baelor's section, so let's turn back to page 92 and look at that.

A Scurrilous Rumor

>Elaena outlived her siblings and led a tumultuous life once freed from the Maidenvault. Following in Daena’s footsteps, she bore the bastard twins Jon and Jeyne Waters to Alyn Velaryon, Lord Oakenfist. She hoped to wed him, it is written, but a year after his disappearance at sea, she gave up hope and agreed to marry elsewhere. > >She was thrice wed. Her first marriage was in 176 AC, to the wealthy but aged Ossifer Plumm, who is said to have died while consummating the marriage. She conceived, however, for Lord Plumm did his duty before he died. Later, scurrilous rumors came to suggest that Lord Plumm, in fact, died at the sight of his new bride in her nakedness (this rumor was put in the lewdest terms— terms which might have amused Mushroom but which we need not repeat), and that the child she conceived that night was by her cousin Aegon—he who later became King Aegon the Unworthy. (—Maester Yandel, TWOIAF: The Targaryen Kings: Baelor I p92)

Here I encounter two conflicting versions of Ossifer Plumm's wedding night, when Viserys Plumm was conceived. The official version says that Ossifer died after impregnating Elaena, and a rumor says that Ossifer died without impregnating Elaena and that Aegon impregnated her instead.

Both versions agree that Ossifer died on his wedding night at the bedding, that Elaena was impregnated on her wedding night at the bedding, and that the baby that came from that pregnancy was the person now known as Viserys Plumm. The main point of disagreement is whether the real father of Viserys Plumm is Ossifer Plumm or Aegon Targaryen.

But there are more points of agreement than those three that I can infer from this situation. For instance, both versions seem to agree that Aegon was present at the wedding, otherwise the rumor probably would have been discredited already by the simple fact that Aegon was not there. Likewise, both versions seem to agree that Mushroom was present at the wedding, otherwise the rumor probably would have been discredited already by the simple fact that Mushroom was not there, because Mushroom is apparently the source of the rumor. With these recognitions, we can start filling in some of the surrounding information that's missing from the story, and see what we can learn from the bigger picture.

It makes sense that Aegon was present at the wedding, because the bride is his cousin. And it makes sense that Mushroom was present at the wedding, because Aegon is the king and Mushroom is the court fool, and the king could reasonably take the court fool with him to a wedding celebration.

The crucial issue is about what really happened in that bedroom. Now that you know the gist of both versions of the story, how do you imagine that scene in the bedroom played out? I call this kind of analysis Scenes That Must Have Happened. The way I do it is I hold the scene in my mind, and watch what my imagination places into the gaps. Whatever appears is probably what the history book was meant to suggest. Then I ask myself one basic question and hold onto it for the rest of the investigation: Does that suggestion make sense?

The way the scene fills out for me is that Aegon probably weaseled his way into that bedroom somehow to take advantage of the situation. Maybe he snuck in through the window or maybe when Elaena was freaking out about her dead husband Aegon went into the room with her and locked the door behind them. He would probably tell the other wedding attendees later that Elaena just needed some emotional support from her dear cousin on her big day, and that Ossifer was alive and well at the time. With Elaena's husband dead, Aegon probably saw it as an opportunity to slake his lusts upon yet another woman, with no regard for anyone but himself. Being the king, he can pretty much do whatever he wants and everybody just has to do what he says, or else pretend like they don't know what's happening.

Now that I've allowed my imagination to fill in the details, roles and tone, I can consider if the picture as a whole makes sense. It certainly makes sense with Aegon's characterization as a cruel and insatiable glutton, so let's keep this scene as it is and test how much sense it makes by seeing what it means for the original question: Who was the man or men that Aegon deprived of their rightful inheritance?

Supposing that the scene played out mostly as described above, the real father of Viserys Plumm is Aegon Targaryen. And if the real father of Viserys Plumm is Aegon Targaryen, then Viserys Plumm can't possibly be the man who was deprived of his rightful inheritance, because Viserys Plumm did inherit House Plumm.

Unless . . .

When the historian says "deprived men of their rightful inheritance", could he mean the thing that the men were deprived of was the rightfulness of the inheritance, rather than the inheritance?

>He deprived men of their rightful inheritance when he desired their wealth, as rumors claim he did following the death of Lord Plumm upon his wedding day. (—Maester Yandel, TWOIAF: The Targaryen Kings: Aegon IV p95)

In that interpretation, the historian's words still technically allow that the man who Aegon wronged did receive an inheritance, but he received it wrongfully because he's a Targaryen and not a Plumm.

After you're finished rolling on the floor laughing, let's take a moment to appreciate the art of the lie.

I finally understand why the historian used the word "men" instead of "man." At the time the historian is writing this book, there have been five generations of Plumms since the time of Viserys Plumm's birth, and every Plumm man including and after Viserys can truthfully be called a "man who was deprived of his rightful inheritance," emphasis on rightful, because Viserys Plumm's father was not really Ossifer, and all of Viserys's descendants are therefore descendants of not-Ossifer, too.

The hilariously glaring omission? Neither Viserys Plumm nor any of his descenents would exist at all if Aegon hadn't fathered Viserys, because Ossifer Plumm died on his wedding night before he could do his duty in the marriage bed.

So Aegon the Unworthy is guilty as charged. Aegon caused rightful inheritances to be deprived from many Plumm men, none of whom would have ever been born to inherit anything if Aegon had not been so darn Unworthy. That rascal!

Honesty Tooled For Dishonesty

That was a good example of how these histories are laden with unreliable narrations. In this case, the unreliability is misrepresentation. The historian is using language in a sneaky way to tell a technically true statement that, upon closer inspection, is meaningfully false, and that does a lot of work to depict Aegon IV as a depraved monster.

As if to drive home the nail, the historian ends the story with a tactically placed reminder.

>and that the child she conceived that night was by her cousin Aegon—he who later became King Aegon the Unworthy.

'Yes, this man Aegon who I just mentioned is the same Aegon you've heard about, and who you'll probably recognize better as Aegon the (officially) Unworthy.' [Ominous screech]

Through this revelation we can begin to develop an understanding of what all did really happen in this situation, and what really was the true tone of these events and characters.

Inferring Cause From Effect

Why did Maester Yandel include the rumor at all? The effect of the rumor's inclusion was that it caused me to imagine that Aegon raped Elaena. In other words, it caused me to imagine Aegon being a villain. So a simple way to infer cause from effect is to invert the effect: Maybe Aegon was really the hero in the situation. And maybe the reason the historian needs to depict him as a villain is because Aegon's heroism is problematic for the royal narrative. Then I can start imagining how Aegon being the hero in the situation could be possible.

The effectiveness with which this piece of history hides the potential for Aegon to be the hero in the situation leads me to wonder if Aegon was really the hero in the situation. If nothing else, by having sex with Elaena on her wedding night and denying it, Aegon rescued the Plumm name from extinction. House Plumm is among the oldest Houses in Westeros, tracing their history all the way back to the Age of Heroes. It would be a shame for such an ancient House to fade away just because one generation had a stroke of bad luck.

In addition to being ancient, House Plumm is also rich. Remember, Elaena's history describes Ossifer Plumm as being wealthy.

>Her first marriage was in 176 AC, to the wealthy but aged Ossifer Plumm, who is said to have died while consummating the marriage.

Come to think of it, the accusation against Aegon mentioned wealth, too.

>He deprived men of their rightful inheritance when he desired their wealth, as rumors claim he did following the death of Lord Plumm upon his wedding day. (—Maester Yandel, TWOIAF: The Targaryen Kings: Aegon IV p95)

A desire for wealth was supposedly Aegon's motivation for depriving men of their rightful inheritance. But since Viserys Plumm did inherit House Plumm, then the wealth of House Plumm didn't go to Aegon, it went to Viserys Plumm. I mean, if Aegon is not really the person who ended up with House Plumm's wealth, that should cause us to doubt whether Aegon really had his sights set on House Plumm's wealth at all, shouldn't it?

I call this kind of analysis Follow The Money. It can be a good way to discover and correctly assign motivations in situations that involve money. The way I do it is I ignore everything I'm told about what peoples' motivations are, then I look at whose control the money is moving out of and into, and then I infer peoples' motivations based on who gained and who lost money.

Before Ossifer Plumm died on his wedding night, House Plumm's gold was in the control of Ossifer Plumm. Then Ossifer Plumm died on his wedding night, and at the same time Viserys Plumm was conceived (by Aegon). Nine to ten months later, Viserys Plumm was born. But a baby can't be the lord of a House in any way but name. He'll have to wait until he's grown before he can be the acting lord.

So, who really controls House Plumm and its gold for the fourteen to seventeen years between Viserys Plumm's conception and Viserys Plumm's ascension to acting lord?

His mother, Elaena Targaryen.

The effectiveness with which this piece of history hides the potential for Elaena to be the villain in the situation leads me to wonder if Elaena was really the villain in the situation. I mean, since the person who really ended up with House Plumm's wealth is Elaena, then maybe wealth was her motivation from the very beginning, rather than Aegon's. Marrying someone for their wealth does not seem like an especially villainous thing to do, but it seems cold and calculating. But maybe that's just because I'm not a Westerosi person.

If nothing else, this answers a question that I only now just realized I would have asked from the beginning if the situation were introduced to me differently. Why did the twenty-six year old Elaena Targaryen marry the "aged" and apparently frail of health Ossifer Plumm? To get the Plumm fortune.

Rhyme As Witness

But even that is the wrong question. Because you see, in context of Westerosi norms, Elaena's marriage to Ossifer does not demand as much explanation as does Ossifer's marriage to Elaena. Being the lord of a rich and ancient House with no heirs to speak of and few years left to live, Lord Ossifer Plumm was the juiciest plum in the seven kingdoms.

>"This old Plumm was a lord, though, must have been a famous fellow in his day, the talk of all the land. The thing was, begging your royal pardon, he had himself a cock six foot long.” (—Brown Ben Plumm, ASOS Daenerys V)

And not because of his giant cock. We'll arrive at that later.

This next mode of analysis I call Complete The Rhyme (taken from George R. R. Martin’s quote that History doesn’t always repeat but it does rhyme.). The way I do it is when I find a situation in the present day characters that mirrors (or rhymes with) the historical characters, or vice versa, I let knowns from one era fill in unknowns from the other era. In this case, Elaena Targaryen’s marriage to Ossifer Plumm rhymes with Lysa Arryn’s marriage to Jon Arryn. That is, young noble princess marries rich old lord who desperately needs an heir before he dies.

In Elaena's situation, we've arrived at a conflict of interpretation. Some readers will argue that Elaena was the bigger prize in the marriage, and other readers will argue that Ossifer was the bigger prize in the marriage. To fill in this unknown in the past, I can refer to Lysa's situation nearer to the present, and try to get a sense of the actual opinion of Westerosi people and nobles. Then I will have good grounding to suppose that the opinion in the past would have been the same as the opinion in the present.

>Catelyn rose, threw on a robe, and descended the steps to the darkened solar to stand over her father. A sense of helpless dread filled her. "Father," she said, "Father, I know what you did." She was no longer an innocent bride with a head full of dreams. She was a widow, a traitor, a grieving mother, and wise, wise in the ways of the world. "You made him take her," she whispered. "Lysa was the price Jon Arryn had to pay for the swords and spears of House Tully." > >Small wonder her sister's marriage had been so loveless. The Arryns were proud, and prickly of their honor. Lord Jon might wed Lysa to bind the Tullys to the cause of the rebellion, and in hopes of a son, but it would have been hard for him to love a woman who came to his bed soiled and unwilling. He would have been kind, no doubt; dutiful, yes; but Lysa needed warmth. (—Catelyn Stark, ASOS 2 Catelyn I)

As Catelyn's thoughts indicate, the general attitude of Westerosi nobles about Jon Arryn's marriage to Lysa Tully is that Jon Arryn is the bigger prize, with one reason being that Lysa's maidenhead is soiled. Westerosi people do not weigh passion as heavily nor wealth as lightly as we do in the real world where, under capitalism for instance, fortunes rarely last for hundreds of years, but are most often made and lost within the space of a few generations.

Not so unlike Elaena Targaryen, Jon Arryn, Lysa Arryn and Hoster Tully, Ossifer Plumm is not as concerned with love, compatibility or desire in the marriage as he is with the socio-political needs of his House. House Plumm desperately needs an heir, and fast, or else House Plumm will fall into disarray and ruin or disappear forever with the death of Ossifer Plumm. Every great House in the kingdom would know that, because lines of succession are integral to the political machinery of Westeros. And that's why Ossifer Plumm was "a famous fellow in his day, the talk of all the land." Elaena Targaryen would know about House Plumm's situation, too.

Additionally, just like Lysa's soiling made her a perfect candidate for marriage to an heirless old lord who can't afford the risk of marrying an infertile bride, so did Elaena's soiling.

>Elaena outlived her siblings and led a tumultuous life once freed from the Maidenvault. Following in Daena’s footsteps, she bore the bastard twins Jon and Jeyne Waters to Alyn Velaryon, Lord Oakenfist. She hoped to wed him, it is written, but a year after his disappearance at sea, she gave up hope and agreed to marry elsewhere.

So when Ossifer Plumm died on his wedding night before conceiving an heir, Elaena knew that without a Plumm heir to show for it she could assume no claim to House Plumm's wealth.

At the end of the Plumm puzzle, a whole different picture of the bedroom scene is beginning to take shape. It was not Aegon who seized upon the tragedy to slake his lusts upon Elaena, it was Elaena who urged Aegon to slake his lusts upon her, helping her to prevent her own tragedy of failing to secure House Plumm's wealth for herself.

I can almost write Elaena's lines in the bedroom scene myself.

The kings of old practiced the First Night, this is no different.

The Targaryens have wed brother to sister for hundreds of years.

No one will ever know.

We can save the old man's memory from humiliation.

Everywhere that Ossifer Plumm's name is mentioned in the main series, there can be found a Complete The Rhyme clue. Let's find Ossifer Plumm's name in a Cersei chapter in A Feast for Crows.

>To break her fast the queen sent to the kitchens for two boiled eggs, a loaf of bread, and a pot of honey. But when she cracked the first egg and found a bloody half-formed chick inside, her stomach roiled. “Take this away and bring me hot spiced wine,” she told Senelle. The chill in the air was settling in her bones, and she had a long nasty day ahead of her. > >Nor did Jaime help her mood when he turned up all in white and still unshaven, to tell her how he meant to keep her son from being poisoned. “I will have men in the kitchens watching as each dish is prepared,” he said. “Ser Addam’s gold cloaks will escort the servants as they bring the food to table, to make certain no tampering takes place along the way. Ser Boros will be tasting every course before Tommen puts a bite into his mouth. And if all that should fail, Maester Ballabar will be seated in the back of the hall, with purges and antidotes for twenty common poisons on his person. Tommen will be safe, I promise you.” > >“Safe.” The word tasted bitter on her tongue. Jaime did not understand. No one understood. Only Melara had been in the tent to hear the old hag’s croaking threats, and Melara was long dead. “Tyrion will not kill the same way twice. He is too cunning for that. He could be under the floor even now, listening to every word we say and making plans to open Tommen’s throat.” > >“Suppose he was,” said Jaime. “Whatever plans he makes, he will still be small and stunted. Tommen will be surrounded by the finest knights in Westeros. The Kingsguard will protect him.” > >Cersei glanced at where the sleeve of her brother’s white silk tunic had been pinned up over his stump. “I remember how well they guarded Joffrey, these splendid knights of yours. I want you to remain with Tommen all night, is that understood?” > >“I will have a guardsman outside his door.” > >She seized his arm. “Not a guardsman. You. And inside his bedchamber.” >

>“In case Tyrion crawls out of the hearth? He won’t.” > >“So you say. Will you tell me that you found all the hidden tunnels in these walls?” They both knew better. “I will not have Tommen alone with Margaery, not for so much as half a heartbeat.” > >“They will not be alone. Her cousins will be with them.” > >“As will you. I command it, in the king’s name.” Cersei had not wanted Tommen and his wife to share a bed at all, but the Tyrells had insisted. “Husband and wife should sleep together,” the Queen of Thorns had said, “even if they do no more than sleep. His Grace’s bed is big enough for two, surely.” Lady Alerie had echoed her good-mother. “Let the children warm each other in the night. It will bring them closer. Margaery oft shares her blankets with her cousins. They sing and play games and whisper secrets to each other when the candles are snuffed out.” > >“How delightful,” Cersei had said. “Let them continue, by all means. In the Maidenvault.” > >“I am sure Her Grace knows best,” Lady Olenna had said to Lady Alerie. “She is the boy’s own mother, after all, of that we are all sure. And surely we can agree about the wedding night? A man should not sleep apart from his wife on the night of their wedding. It is ill luck for their marriage if they do.” > >Someday I will teach you the meaning of “ill luck,” the queen had vowed. “Margaery may share Tommen’s bedchamber for that one night,” she had been forced to say. “No longer.” > >“Your Grace is so gracious,” the Queen of Thorns had replied, and everyone had exchanged smiles. > >Cersei’s fingers were digging into Jaime’s arm hard enough to leave bruises. “I need eyes inside that room,” she said. > >“To see what?” he said. “There can be no danger of a consummation. Tommen is much too young.” > >“And Ossifer Plumm was much too dead, but that did not stop him fathering a child, did it?” > >Her brother looked lost. “Who was Ossifer Plumm? Was he Lord Philip’s father, or … who?” > >He is near as ignorant as Robert. All his wits were in his sword hand. “Forget Plumm, just remember what I told you. Swear to me that you will stay by Tommen’s side until the sun comes up.” (AFFC 12 Cersei III)

In this passage, Cersei references Ossifer Plumm as an example from history of a dynasty being hereditarily usurped, because any pregnancy conceived on the bride during or near her wedding night will be assumed the child of the husband. The baby will go on carrying the dynasty name without a drop of the blood in his veins.

Jaime doesn't know this bit of history, so he doesn't understand the reference. He guesses that Ossifer was the father of Lord Philip Plumm, who is the current Lord of House Plumm at the time of Jaime and Cersei's conversation. Jaime's guess shows me that the history-ness of the reference is definitely the reason Jaime doesn't know it. He was more interested in swordfighting than history.

As if to settle the debate about whose idea it was — between Aegon IV and Elaena Targaryen — to pass off Aegon's baby as Ossifer's baby, A Song of Ice and Fire chooses a side by showing me that the same idea occurred first to our present day woman, and not at all to our present day man.

By traveling from one era to the other along the dimension of gender, this instance of Complete The Rhyme points to the differences between men and women as somehow containing the explanation for why such an idea occurs to Elaena and Cersei before Aegon and Jaime. The idea for pregnancy sneakiness would reasonably occur sooner to a person who is capable of pregnancy than to a person who is not.

History Written With The Sword

Let's take another moment to appreciate the art of the lie. In order to completely reverse the hero and villain roles of this part of history, the historian had to do little more than lift the villain's motivation from off the villain and place it onto the hero. "He deprived men of their rightful inheritance when he desired their wealth, (...)"

When a House goes extinct, all of its land, wealth, property and titles are returned to the king. The king can then do with them as he likes. Far from a desire for House Plumm's wealth, by making a baby with Elaena, Aegon prevented himself from receiving House Plumm's wealth and enabled Elaena to receive it instead.

Aegon knew that because he was king at the time and that he would likely remain king for many years to come, House Plumm's extinction would remain a secret, allowing its name to live on. Few are the people who would dare to publicly accuse the *king* of lying about such a thing. Far from abusing his kingly power to gratify himself free from criticism, Aegon managed to put his kingly freedom from criticism to work toward a selfless and sentimental result.

With the historian's reconfiguration, the memory of Elaena enjoys an undeserved boon, and the memory of Aegon suffers an undeserved curse. Why? Because history is written by the victors, and the victor of history was Daeron II Targaryen.

After Aegon's death, Elaena became Daeron's highly capable master of coin during his reign as king.

>Her second marriage was at the behest of Aegon the Unworthy’s successor, King Daeron the Good. Daeron wed her to his master of coin, and this union led to four more children … and to Elaena becoming known to be the true master of coin, for her husband was said to be a good and noble lord but one without a great facility for numbers. She swiftly grew influential, and was trusted by King Daeron in all things as she labored on his behalf and on that of the realm. (—Maester Yandel, TWOIAF: The Targaryen Kings: Baelor I p92)

Calculating, indeed. How did Elaena get so much practice with numbers, anyway?

The quality of a king's court reflects the quality of the king, and since Elaena was a key member of King Daeron's trusted court, her villainy was an annoyance to historians. So whenever Daeron and his descendants conscripted a history book, the historian found better use of Elaena by hiding her unflattering motivations and deeds and instead allowing suggestion to grant her the role of victim. Therein lies much of the historian's reason for including Mushroom's version of the story.

If Mushroom's version had been left out, the passage would not have conjured in my mind that awful bedroom scene of Aegon the Unworthy's unworthiness. As references to Ossifer Plumm in the main series indicate, it's an open secret that Aegon IV rather than Ossifer Plumm fathered Viserys Plumm. The "cock" in Brown Ben Plumm's "he had a cock six foot long" quote is, of course, referring to the "length" (height) of King Aegon IV, implying that Aegon rather than Ossifer impregnated Elaena, and with double entendre where "cock" also works as an insult to Aegon.

Indeed, it would seem that evoking the image of Aegon forcing or insisting himself upon Elaena in the in-story reader's mind was the historians' only reason for including Mushroom's version at all. It's the specifically sexual and self-gratifying kind of villainy that history has branded Aegon with to great effect in the public consciousness. Thus concludes our game of Scenes That Must Have Happened. In light of everything we've learned, the scene that the histories evoke through suggestion does not make sense with the facts.

At the same time, we should be careful not to underestimate the historians. Like Maester Yandel, a person generally doesn't come to write history without having in his heart a genuine love and commitment to true knowledge. While it's true that, in the context of the "Unworthy" theme of Aegon the Unworthy, the inclusion of Mushroom's version of this piece of history will predictably cause an in-story reader to imagine the bedroom rape scene, it's also true that without the inclusion of Mushroom's version, it would not have been possible for we sleuthing readers or maesters to have researched and reasoned our way to the true history. The "rumor" that Viserys Plumm was really sired by Aegon rather than Ossifer is what enabled us to discover everything else. Without it, there wouldn't have been two competing accounts, and we would have gone on believing the official one that Viserys was sired by Ossifer. So it's conceivable that Maester Yandel was counting on smart readers to be unsatisfied with the uncertainty and to dig out the true version.

A Memory Accursed

On the topic of public consciousness, let's look at another Complete The Rhyme from the present day characters.

>Viserion spread his pale white wings and flapped lazily at his head. One of the wings buffeted the sellsword in his face. The white dragon landed awkwardly with one foot on the man’s head and one on his shoulder, shrieked, and flew off again. “He likes you, Ben,” said Dany. > >“And well he might.” Brown Ben laughed. “I have me a drop of the dragon blood myself, you know.” > >“You?” Dany was startled. Plumm was a creature of the free companies, an amiable mongrel. He had a broad brown face with a broken nose and a head of nappy grey hair, and his Dothraki mother had bequeathed him large, dark, almond-shaped eyes. He claimed to be part Braavosi, part Summer Islander, part Ibbenese, part Qohorik, part Dothraki, part Dornish, and part Westerosi, but this was the first she had heard of Targaryen blood. She gave him a searching look and said, “How could that be?” > >“Well,” said Brown Ben, “there was some old Plumm in the Sunset Kingdoms who wed a dragon princess. My grandmama told me the tale. He lived in King Aegon’s day.” > >“Which King Aegon?” Dany asked. “Five Aegons have ruled in Westeros.” Her brother’s son would have been the sixth, but the Usurper’s men had dashed his head against a wall. >

>“Five, were there? Well, that’s a confusion. I could not give you a number, my queen. This old Plumm was a lord, though, must have been a famous fellow in his day, the talk of all the land. The thing was, begging your royal pardon, he had himself a cock six foot long.” > >The three bells in Dany’s braid tinkled when she laughed. “You mean inches, I think.” > >“Feet,” Brown Ben said firmly. “If it was inches, who’d want to talk about it, now? Your Grace.” > >Dany giggled like a little girl. “Did your grandmother claim she’d actually seen this prodigy?” > >“That the old crone never did. She was half-Ibbenese and half-Qohorik, never been to Westeros, my grandfather must have told her. Some Dothraki killed him before I was born.” > >“And where did your grandfather’s knowledge come from?” > >“One of them tales told at the teat, I’d guess.” Brown Ben shrugged. “That’s all I know about Aegon the Unnumbered or old Lord Plumm’s mighty manhood, I fear. I best see to my Sons.” > >“Go do that,” Dany told him. (ASOS Daenerys V)

In this passage, Daenerys's dragons show a liking for Brown Ben Plumm, suggesting that Mushroom's version of the Ossifer Plumm story is true, and contradicting the recurring insistences from Maester Yandel and other historians that Mushroom's versions of history are probably wrong.

Brown Ben Plumm claims to have a little bit of Targaryen in his heritage, referring to the same rumor we heard from Mushroom and Cersei that King Aegon IV the Unworthy was the biological father of Viserys Plumm.

Dany can see that Brown Ben has none of the traditional Targaryen features — not the silver hair, purple eyes, or pale skin. But since dragons are magical sorts of animals and animals have ways of sensing things that humans can't sense, I'm left with the impression that the behavior of the dragons is a more reliable test than Brown Ben's appearance.

I can be sure that the "old Plumm who lived in the Sunset kingdoms," "wed a dragon princess" and "lived in Aegon's day" is Ossifer Plumm, because Ossifer Plumm is the only Plumm who matches all of those descriptions.

Brown Ben credits his "drop of Targaryen blood" to a Targaryen princess, who I know was Elaena Targaryen. Both the official and rumor versions of history agree that Viserys Plumm's mother was Elaena Targaryen. But Brown Ben is more right than he knows, because Viserys Plumm's father was a Targaryen, too, none other than the king Aegon. Comically, Brown Ben takes his grandmama's story too literally, not understanding that Ossifer Plumm's "cock six foot long" is referring to Aegon the man rather than to Ossifer's literal endowment.

In the Ossifer Plumm situation from history, there is some disagreement in the interpretation. Some readers will say that the history is not really lying that a deprivation occurred, because Aegon did in fact deprive Plumm men of their rightful ineritances, meaning their inheritances being rightful, and that those Plumm men would prefer it if they were real Plumms so that they don't have to live a lie. And some readers will say that the Plumms would feel bad about being a descendent of such an Unworthy king, saying that House Plumm lost more than it gained when it was hereditarily usurped by House Targaryen.

As if to settle those disagreements, A Song of Ice and Fire chooses a side by showing me in this passage that the Plumm family themselves preserved the knowledge of Aegon's contribution to the Plumm line in a funny and memorable story, passing it down through the Plumm generations to arrive to us and Daenerys in the present day.

As wealthy as House Plumm may be, House Targaryen is wealthier and more powerful. And as desirable a position as Lord of House Plumm may be, it struggles to compare to the positions that are possible as a Targaryen descendent of a king— Heir Apparent, Crown Prince, King. For the noble Houses of Westeros, royalty is the last and most elusive rung to climb on the socio-economic ladder. Once your family gets into the Targaryen club, it's a permanent member. The more your family gets into the Targaryen family, the more chances your family has of being the lucky spot on the Targaryen lineage tree where the royal succession lands.

This passage further demonstrates that maester historians rely upon the "Aegon the Unworthy" narrative to do most of the work of misleading the in-story audience from the truth. Likewise, George R. R. Martin relies upon it to do most of the work of misleading us from the truth. Had I done a better job of leaving my real world attitudes at the door and adopting in-story attitudes, I would have noticed sooner that, far from deprivation of their rightful inheritance, it's better to be a real Targaryen Prince disguised as a real Plumm than to be simply a real Plumm. As simply a real Plumm you get House Plumm, but as a real Targaryen Prince disguised as a real Plumm you get all the same things as a real Plumm plus the chance of winning the Kinghood by the ever-unfolding lottery of unpredictable events. In this way, the Aegon the Unworthy narrative is symbolic of our tendency to slide into our real world attitudes, inappropriately abandoning the in-story attitudes in which the attraction of moving one's family into the line of royal succession far outweighs the repulsion of being associated with a king who has a bad reputation.

With the purple fruits of our labor in hand, let's carry all that we've learned about the Plumm situation in this chapter on to the next chapter, where we'll dive into another sentence from that original paragraph in The World of Ice and Fire.

Next: Chapter 4 - Butterwell and Eggs

applesanddragons

[asoiafzambi]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, House of the Dragon (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Aemond "One-Eye" Targaryen/Viserys II Targaryen Characters: Aemond "One-Eye" Targaryen, Viserys II Targaryen Additional Tags: Fluff, Angst, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Targcest | Targaryen Incest (A Song of Ice and Fire), Dysfunctional Family, Cuddling & Snuggling, Short, Stargazing, Implied/Referenced Character Death Series: Part 20 of Family Portrait

Summary: “I'll never get women," Viserys shook his head.

Did you ever truly try nephew? Aemond thought. After Larra he seemed to have given up already, except for some high level courtesans.

"Men are much easier," he claimed, sneaking a hand under his doublet and shirt.

A/N: Just some fluff and Targ-angst as usual.

[cat-equation]

Love how Jaime knows everything about every knight in the White Book ever and nothing about any other historical figure. Ossifer Plumm? Who’s that?? Was it Maegor or Jaehaerys who fought the Faith Miliant?? Jaime doesn’t know, but he sure is going to lecture Loras on not knowing rando Kingsguard knights like Rolland Darklyn who died an hour into the job.

[amnevitahdrawsstuff]

Princess Elaena Targaryen

Daughter of King Aegon III and Queen Daenaera Velaryon.

Wife to Ossifer Plumm, Ronnel Penrose, and Michael Manwoody.

[queensend]

HOUSE TARGARYEN ♔ the maidens in the tower

Daena was wild almost from birth. She was strong, beautiful, and willful. She was an expert horsewoman and also a hunter and a fine archer with her short recurved bow. She had a a fearless “I’ll dare anything” smile. During her time of confinement at the Maidenvault, Daena escaped several times and had an affair with her cousin Prince Aegon, despite his marriage to his own sister-wife Naerys. When she became pregnant she refused to name the father and became known as “Daena the Defiant.” Rhaena was the second daughter of King Aegon III Targaryen and Queen Daenaera Velaryon. Two years younger than Daena, Rhaena was just as lovely as her sister, but hers was a softer, sweeter, more feminine beauty. Where Daena was willful, wild, and adventurous, Rhaena was dutiful, meek, and passive. She loved lace and gold trim and often embroidered depictions of faith on her clothing. Rhaena, unlike her two sisters, never chaffed at her confinement. She was almost as pious as her brother Baelor, and eventually became a septa. Elaena lived a much longer life than her sister Daena, and a much more tumultuous one than her sister Rhaena. Although Elaena had three husbands during her lifetime, the great love of her life was her cousin, Lord Alyn Velaryon. She gave birth to two bastard children by him, the twins Jon and Jeyne Waters. Elaena had hoped to marry Alyn, but he was lost at sea. She would go on to marry three times, first to Lord Ossifer Plumm who died on their wedding night, then Lord Ronnel Penrose. He sat on the king’s small council as master of coin; but it was widely known that Elaena was the one performing the duties, as she was shrewd and intelligent with money. King Daeron trusted her with many important matters of state, and she grew influential. Elaena birthed Ronnel four children: Robin, Laena, Jocelyn, and Joy Penrose. Not long after Ronnel’s death, Elaena married once more, for love and by her own choosing. With King Daeron II’s blessing, Elaena was married to Ser Michael Manwoody, a Dornishman who had attended the court of Mariah Martell.

[agentrouka-blog]

Cersei is very much like Tywin. She is as dumb as he is (by that I mean, they are not actually dumb but blinded but their own faults and insecurities) the only difference between them is that he was a man so he was trained to be a good administrator and she had no training.

(post referenced)

Let's also remember that Cersei lost her mother at a young age. That's the person who would have been best suited and most responsible for educating her daughter in administrative matters, and after her death Tywin neither remarried nor likely paid that much attention to Cersei's specific education. It was enough that she was uncommonly beautiful and reasonably obedient to him.

We saw how she treated Tyrion's nursemaid. While she may have treated her Septa Saranella with more basic poiliteness, I doubt she felt the same deference that Sansa did for Mordane, especially given her resentment of the differences in her education compared to Jaime.

The queen's face was hard and angry. "Would that I could take a sword to their necks myself." Her voice was starting to slur. "When we were little, Jaime and I were so much alike that even our lord father could not tell us apart. Sometimes as a lark we would dress in each other's clothes and spend a whole day each as the other. Yet even so, when Jaime was given his first sword, there was none for me. 'What do I get?' I remember asking. We were so much alike, I could never understand why they treated us so differently. Jaime learned to fight with sword and lance and mace, while I was taught to smile and sing and please. (ACOK, Sansa VI)

Sansa seems to have been taught alongside the boys at least for part of her education, given she knows she is better at reading and writing than any of her brothers. No such recollection for Cersei. And note the emphasis on fighting for Jaime. Doubtlessly, he was taught by very experienced and competent teachers in everything pertaining to matters of warfare and knighthood. But he's not exactly a bright light when it comes to history, politics or the art of administration either. (Unless it's his special interest The Kingsguard.)

Cersei herself is hilariously aghast at his ignorance at one point.

"And Ossifer Plumm was much too dead, but that did not stop him fathering a child, did it?" Her brother looked lost. "Who��was Ossifer Plumm? Was he Lord Philip's father, or . . . who?" He is near as ignorant as Robert. All his wits were in his sword hand. (AFFC, Cersei III)

Tyrion knew what he was about when he emphasized the importance of books and independent reading.

Alas, I was born a Lannister of Casterly Rock, and the grotesqueries are all the poorer. Things are expected of me. My father was the Hand of the King for twenty years. My brother later killed that very same king, as it turns out, but life is full of these little ironies. My sister married the new king and my repulsive nephew will be king after him. I must do my part for the honor of my House, wouldn't you agree? Yet how? Well, my legs may be too small for my body, but my head is too large, although I prefer to think it is just large enough for my mind. I have a realistic grasp of my own strengths and weaknesses. My mind is my weapon. My brother has his sword, King Robert has his warhammer, and I have my mind … and a mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge." Tyrion tapped the leather cover of the book. "That's why I read so much, Jon Snow." (AGOT, Tyrion II)

If Tyrion had been born able-bodied he might be as much of a "dumb" disaster as the rest of his siblings. As opposed to the clever disaster he is now.

[ophelias-lamentation]

Princess Elaena Targaryen, daughter of Aegon III Targaryen and Daenaera Velaryon, wife to Ser Ossifer Plumm, Lord Ronnel Penrose, and Lord Michael Manwoody, mother to Jon and Jeyne Waters, Viserys Plumm, and Robin, Laena, Jocelyn, and Joy Penrose. Elaena was one of the sisters who was locked in the Maidenvault by her brother Baelor the Blessed. She was not a pretty girl, with her crowning beauty being her hair, when her brother locked her up she cut off her hair as protest.

[nanshe-of-nina]

Posthumous Characters GIF Sets → Elaena Targaryen

Elaena outlived her siblings and led a tumultuous life once freed from the Maidenvault. Following in Daena’s footsteps, she bore the bastard twins Jon and Jeyne Waters to Alyn Velaryon, Lord Oakenfist. She hoped to wed him, it is written, but a year after his disappearance at sea, she gave up hope and agreed to marry elsewhere. She was thrice wed. Her first marriage was in 176 AC, to the wealthy but aged Ossifer Plumm, who is said to have died while consummating the marriage. She conceived, however, for Lord Plumm did his duty before he died. Later, scurrilous rumors came to suggest that Lord Plumm, in fact, died at the sight of his new bride in her nakedness (this rumor was put in the lewdest terms—terms which might have amused Mushroom but which we need not repeat), and that the child she conceived that night was by her cousin Aegon—he who later became King Aegon the Unworthy. Her second marriage was at the behest of Aegon the Unworthy’s successor, King Daeron the Good. Daeron wed her to his master of coin, and this union led to four more children … and to Elaena becoming known to be the true master of coin, for her husband was said to be a good and noble lord but one without a great facility for numbers. She swiftly grew influential, and was trusted by King Daeron in all things as she labored on his behalf and on that of the realm. The third marriage was one of her own choice, after she fell in love with Ser Michael Manwoody, a Dornishman who had attended Princess Mariah at her court. … Elaena wed Ser Michael, apparently with Daeron’s blessing, not long after her second husband died. Elaena said, in her later years, that it wasn’t his intelligence that made her love Ser Michael, but his love of music. He was known to play the harp for her, and when he died, Elaena commanded that his effigy be carved holding a harp, and not the sword and spurs of knighthood as is common.

[highgardenart]

Princess Elaena Targaryen,

Her lover Lord Alyn Velaryon; and their children, Ser Jon Waters and Jeyne Waters.

Her first husband, Lord Ossifer Plumm and their son, Lord Viserys Plumm.

Her second husband, Lord Ronnel Penrose and their children, Lord Robin Penrose, Lady Laena Penrose, Lady Jocelyn Penrose, and Lady Joy Penrose.

Her third and final husband, Ser Michael Manwoody.

[gojuo]

Thinking about Rhaenyra and Aegon iv as rulers are way similar than Ageon ii &Aegon iv

Rhaenyra and Aegon IV both:

were nothing but monarchs who put their personal pleasure and desires ahead of the realm and its laws

viewed the power of the Iron Throne as a vehicle for them to use to satisfy their fancies and caprices, and little else

were brazen and open about their affairs

bestowed favor on an extramarital lover publicly

both cared little for legalities

both used their obvious bastards to get the property of their supposed fathers, Laenor Velaryon and Ossifer Plumm

both took action that threatened to send the realm into a civil war (Rhaenyra by having an affair and passing her bastards as trueborn heirs, Aegon by legitimizing his bastards and giving Daemon the sword Blackfyre, one of the visible symbols of Targaryen legitimacy while casting shadow on his sister-wife Naerys' fidelity and showing public disfavor to his heir Daeron to the point where rumors sprung up that he was planning to disinherit him)

both abused royal power even before they ascended to the throne

both were vindictive, cruel and consummately selfish

I've written about Aegon II and Aegon IV's similarities and dissimilarities before.

[goodqueenaly]

I sometimes wonder whether GRRM will in the future draw inspiration from Aegon IV (and, by extension, a bit for Daeron II) from John II of France, specifically as he's portrayed in The Accursed Kings.

The reason I say "in the future" is because I don't actually know whether GRRM has read the seventh and last book in the series, The King Without a Kingdom, where John II is (albeit somewhat indirectly) one of the main protagonists. The King Without a Kingdom is sort of the odd duck of the series, because not only was it published nearly two decades after the sixth novel, but it was only officially translated and published in English in 2015, long after GRRM started writing Aegon IV (much less ASOIAF). GRRM himself lamented back in 2009 that the last book in the series had never been published in English, and while he gleefully reported in 2013 that as part of the new English editions being published, Harper Collins would include a translated version of the seventh novel, he did not go on to mention his reading the seventh novel. Even the (repeated) foreword by GRRM to these new publications of The Accursed Kings - including, inexplicably, The King Without a Kingdom itself - includes GRRM’s statement that “the seventh and final volume was never translated into English at all”. (I myself didn’t see anything I felt was specifically related to or drawn from The King Without a Kingdom in F&B, obviously the first major new/mostly new Westerosi work from GRRM since The Accursed Kings was republished in full.)

Yet now that almost a decade has passed since The King Without a Kingdom was published in English, I would not be surprised if GRRM has taken the opportunity to read it - and if so, if he might use the character of John II for inspiration for Aegon IV. Indeed, even the official summary for the book suggests John II as to some extent a ready parallel for Aegon the Unworthy, calling him, John, "a monarch as vain and cruel as he is incompetent". The very first description of King John from the novel's narrator, Cardinal Talleyrand of Perigord, refers to the king as "a brutal and violent man" whose "dreams and secret fears ... provoke sudden and murderous fits of rage" - traits which also fit Aegon IV, the man who had no qualms about executing Bethany and her father, consigning Cassella Vaith to (presumed) execution, and attempting to judicially murder both his brother and his sister-wife (and who may have murdered his own father in the bargain). Further, the cardinal's account of King John as a man "incapable of listening to advice or of the slightest self-control” served as an apt reflection on Aegon IV, who showed no restraint in his many sexual affairs or his tyrannical regnal decisions. John II, according to the cardinal, “hiding his weaknesses under an exterior of grand ostentation” very much recalls the author's description of Aegon IV, with his excessive and garish draconic crown, his “bright and rich” garments, and his many gems. Both John II and Aegon IV can be accurately described as “at the core, a fool, the exact opposite of a conqueror, his soul the opposite of the soul of a commander" - an assessment borne out by the spectacular military failures of each king. 

Moreover, there are specific points in the book’s description of John II which may be used by GRRM in the future for Aegon IV. If John II is not presented as quite the omnivorously lascivious man Aegon IV was, or as hateful toward his wives as Aegon was toward Naerys, the cardinal nevertheless observes critically the king's (specifically romantic) favoritism toward a male aristocrat. The cardinal’s report that John II falsely charged and condemned his constable in order to seize that man’s rich possessions and pass them off to his favorite echoes both Aegon IV’s seizure of the Plumm inheritance after his cousin Elaena’s marriage to Lord Ossifer as well as his grant of the Teats to the Blackwoods (after taking the land from the Brackens). John II’s obsession with building a mighty siege tower to take an English-held town during the Hundreds Years War, only to watch that tower be spectacularly destroyed and burned (particularly by Greek fire, GRRM’s own explicit inspiration for wildfire) closely resembles Aegon IV’s abortive attempt to invade Dorne with his wooden dragons, which were themselves incinerated by wildfire. King John’s willingness to pursue a charge of treason against King Charles of Navarre and a number of other Norman knights on no greater basis than the hollow accusation of a member of his court may also find similarities to Aegon IV’s accusations of treason, again on no basis, toward his brother and sister-wife as well as his (probable) betrayal of justice against Terrence Toyne (and by extension Bethany and her father).

Even John II's relationship with his eldest son and heir Charles may be used by the author in writing about Aegon IV and his son and heir, Daeron. If John II is not quite as openly antagonistic toward the Dauphin as Aegon was always reported to be toward Daeron, there is nevertheless a steep contrast between the Valois royal father and son which broadly parallels that between this Targaryen king and his Prince of Dragonstone. Just as Daeron II was "[n]ot a warrior by any means; round-shouldered, with thin legs and a small pot belly", so the cardinal notes that the future Charles V is "unable to wield a sword", thanks to a condition which makes his right hand swell "whenever he tries to lift a heavy weight or hold on to an object tightly" (and indeed, the dauphin eventually retreats from the disastrous battlefield at Poitiers, a move even the cardinal considers unheroic). (It may also be worth pointing out that the cardinal claims that the dauphin Charles physically resembles Louis IX, the explicit parallel for Daeron’s own spiritual predecessor Baelor the Blessed.) Yet while the cardinal reports that John II therefore "conclude[s] ... that the dauphin is an idiot who would make a bad king" - surely about what Aegon IV thought of the future Daeron II - the cardinal himself overall sympathetically portrays the dauphin as a thoughtful, judicious contrast to his blustering, foolish father - much the dynamic I think the author wants to write between Daeron and Aegon. (And indeed, Maurice Druon excepts the future Charles V from his declaration that ”[t]he thirteen Valois kings who were to … reign over France for two hundred and fifty years would all have in their blood … certain characteristics of [the] crazed nature” of Charles, count of Valois, brother of Philip IV. Too, Druon gives Charles his familiar epithet, calling him a “wise king”, when describing the future kings of France at the end of the sixth novel, The Lily and the Lion.) 

Again, none of this is exact, and there are certainly other parallels the author will doubtless look to for Aegon IV (and Daeron II). (No one bring "Aegon IV is the Henry VIII of Westeros" into my house, we all know how I feel about that.) But it me to bring in more of The Accursed Kings.

[atopvisenyashill]

I love your post about Targ women choosing to have children on their own terms but I think F&B more so suggests that Aegon IV assaulted Elaena and that’s why she rushed into a marriage and possibly killed her husband to pass off Viserys as his (I just realized as I’m typing this that it’s an old post but I already typed this so 💀💀)

oh tbc im well aware the consent wrt elaena and viserys plumm is dubious at BEST, i just kinda glossed over it for the sake of the joke that targ women are constantly having bastards and trying to pass their bastards off as legitimate lol.

personally, my theory is that given that ossifer plumm is considered a wealthy man, that aegon had elaena marry ossifer to attempt to get his hands on that fortune (similar to robert marrying cersei so that jon arryn & the iron throne can gain access to the lannister gold) and either offed ossifer himself as sort of an ultimate cuckold fantasy (steal your wife, your title, and pass my baby as yours) or ossifer genuinely did just kick the bucket, so aegon forced himself (whether thru literal force or coercion) onto elaena so he could still have access to the plumm fortune.

my point about elaena in that post is more about how, due to elaena’s intelligence, ability to politic, and generally amazing moral compass considering the situation she grew up in, she managed to give both her bastards by alyn velaryon and her “bastard” viserys plumm a great life by doing her second husband’s whole ass job, gaining her own allies at court as well as daeron’s trust, and burying a lot of the scandal of her younger years by being amazing as she navigated adulthood. like, aegon iv doesn't even have a dragon he can feed his detractors to, he's just an asshole so the plumms and the people of the parchments should have put up some sort of fuss but they don't and I think that's at least in part due to elaena being well liked and well respected (and also, very likely people just felt bad for her as a victim of aegon's, which ALSO speaks to how well liked elaena is because look at the way some of the other mistresses are talked about when they're objectively victims!). and unlike most other targ women, she not only marries for love but she spends several years very happy in that marriage and it doesn't even blow up in her face!

what's fascinating in general about elaena is that she lives through a lot of the violent, vile things that a lot of targ women are forced to live through, from being creeped on by valyrian men who feel like they are Owed sexual control of female relatives, to having a bastard, to being married off as a political tool, to extreme isolation, and elaena manages to take all of that adversity and build a mostly happy life for herself, and her children and she does it without attempting to set half the continent on fire. that is amazing in this series and its part of why i'm so excited for f&b part 2 (bc she hasn't been born yet in f&b part 1, all of our info on her comes either from TWOIAF or cersei & tyrion being huge fucking nerds about history).