#orphaned baby squirrel

[blackswallowtailbutterfly]

Temporary Care for Baby Gray Squirrels

So, I've obviously learned a lot this week about the care of baby squirrels, and let me stress that it must be temporary. They are best off in a wildlife centre where they will be prepared for release. But I thought I'd share what I've learned in case someone else finds themselves in a similar situation.

1) If the baby is scampering about, it's probably fine. Leave it alone.

2) If it is just lying there in the open or it crawls up your leg, this is a bad sign and a good chance it's been orphaned.

3) Approach cautiously and do not handle with bare hands. Gently wrap the baby in something soft.

4) If you see fleas or other insects crawling on it, this is even more evidence that it's been orphaned.

5) If found on your own property, place the baby in a box outside in a relatively safe location from predators with something soft and fluffy. If not on your own property, skip to 10).

6) Keep it warm. They can't regulate their body temperature so need assistance. Fill a sock with dried rice and microwave or fill a bottle with hot water. Place between blanket and squirrel and make sure there's enough room that the squirrel can move away if it gets too hot.

7) Give it fresh fruit with the skin removed at least in part so it can suck on it for hydration. You can try nuts and seeds too but it may be too young for solids (mine is not).

8) You can play baby squirrel distress calls to try and attract the mother back to it.

9) If 24 hours have elapsed without the mother retrieving it, it's been orphaned.

10) Take it inside. If you have a large cage, great. In my experience young squirrels don't move very far from a place they find safe that has food, so it's fine if you don't as long as you don' t mind the mess and have no pets/can keep pets away from it.

11) Make sure it has ample fresh fruit for hydration (for an animal as small as a baby squirrel, a full-sized apple is plenty), blanket for security, and a hot water bottle/rice-filled sock nearby for warmth (see 6)).

12) Take pictures if you can. This will be important for identification and they may be hard to get once the baby recovers its strength.

13) Get in touch with a wildlife centre and make arrangements to deliver it. This can be a pain as they may have limited ways to contact them with limited hours, but it's worth it if you can get through.

14) Unfortunately not every place has room or has drivers to come pick it up so you might have to borrow a carrier, find a further location, and arrange your own transport.

15) Do not feed the squirrel dairy, salted nuts, dried fruit, bread, chocolate, or peanuts. These will dehydrate it, poison it, have too few vitamins, or are too concentrated in sugar. Generally stick to fresh fruits and vegetables and unsalted nuts and seeds (peanuts are legumes, not nuts).

16) Do not handle it more than absolutely necessary. Do not try to make friends with it. Do not try to be its mother. Simply provide the things it needs and otherwise keep your distance.

17) You'll want to get it to a centre as soon as possible, and the younger it is, the more urgent this is, since before a certain age they need to be fed formula and can't pee or poop without stimulation.

18) Don't bring it to the humane society unless all other options have been exhausted. They will put it down. Only choose this option if it's between that and release. The baby cannot survive on its own and will die of hypothermia, dehydration, starvation, getting run over, or getting snapped up by a predator. If that fate was unacceptable when you picked it up, it's unacceptable now. The humane society offers a much more compassionate death. But try other options first.

19) While it's tempting, you almost certainly can't successfully keep it as a pet. It, like any other animal, has enrichment needs most of us can't provide. They can be quite destructive in a home setting as adults, and the longer you keep it, the more habituated it will become and the lower its ability to be successfully released into the wild.

20) Clean everything the baby has had contact with, including yourself. Last thing you want is a nasty infection. Also you want to get rid of the fleas.

21) This is just my experience in an emergency situation and may not apply to all! Please look up what your local wildlife centre has to say about their care and ask any questions you need when you get into contact with them directly.

22) This is also specific to gray squirrels. I don't know what a red squirrel would require and baby rabbits are notorious for just. Dying.

23) Good luck!

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

baby season has officially begun

[moniquill]

Today in Fucking Nonsense seen on Facebook because the algorithm has decided based on the huge number of NDN folks I'm friends with that I -must- want to see woo:

Stop Doing This Shit and Stop Ascribing it to NDN Folks.

Squirrels don't pairbond. The male has no part in raising the young, and they're not remotely monogamous.

When a nursing female squirrel comes up on a pink, furless baby that is not hers, she is very likely to eat it.

If you want to try to introduce an orphaned baby squirrel to a new mother in a rehab situation, you need to do subterfuge and make it smell like it's one of hers - and she's still likely to reject it if it's not the exact same age.

Know what animals are actually very good at caring for orphaned baby squirrels? Rats and cats. Both of which are social species that perform alloparenting. Cat moms in particular will generally take all babies regardless of species which is why you see them fostering skunks and possums and squirrels all the time on tiktok or gizmodo.

This is not at all how squirrels behave. We can talk about human behavior and values without making up nonsense about our animal kin.

[laughingsquid]

Orphaned Baby Squirrel Adopts a Loving Human Family

[lewmagoo]

Waking up to find your cowboy not in bed with you. His boots aren't by the door but you can see footprints in the freshly fallen snow outside. You follow them to the barn to see Rhett, asleep on a haybale wearing just his jacket. His flannel is now a nest for the barn cat's new kittens with another fleecy blanket added in for extra warmth.

rhett’s a tender soul. always has been. despite the fact that his father tried to quash that part of him, in an effort to “toughen him up”. rhett always kept that tender part of himself when it came to animals. he’s always had a special connection with them. with his mare, june, despite her stubborn tendencies. with the mysterious crow (affectionately named john) that follows him around every time he’s outside. with the cranky barn cat that tolerates only him. he’s the cowboy snow white, as you’ve lovingly dubbed him. there are always animals in his vicinity. he’s always been good about helping animals when they’re in distress. one time, he stayed up all night with june when she developed a sickness that required round the clock care. he nursed john the crow back to health when he injured his wing. he’s been known to raise orphaned baby squirrels and rabbits.

and then there’s the time that misty the cranky barn cat becomes pregnant. rhett watches over her carefully. it’s really a sight to behold. you’ve always loved watching him interact with animals. when you’re working in the stable or going on trail rides you’ll hear the way he talks to june, a low comforting rumble, communicating with her as if she understands every word he’s saying. you suspect she does. and of course there’s the way he’s so loving toward misty. she’ll always linger around his feet when he’s in the stable, and sometimes she’ll even climb up to sit on his shoulder. that happens less and less the more heavily pregnant she becomes. and then there comes the time when she’s going to give birth.

the closer the time gets, the more rhett checks on her throughout the day. and then, one morning, he slips out of bed early, leaving a lingering kiss to your forehead as you sleep peacefully, before he shoves his boots and jacket on and trudges out through the freshly fallen snow. that’s where he finds misty huddled in a corner of the stable, in the beginning stages of labor. he knows he can’t move her into the house, it would put her into distress. so he sets up camp in the barn. all he has is his flannel, so he shrugs out of it and allows misty to lay upon it. he’s a loving and gentle coach as she births her tiny little kittens, and once they come safely into the world, he tucks an extra blanket that he found in the tack room around the litter to keep them all warm as their mama gets settled around them. not wanting to leave her alone, he leans back against some stacked hay bales, but inevitably ends up falling asleep.

that’s where you find him an hour later. after waking up to an empty bed you head out to the stable to find him fast asleep, and there is misty the barn cat on the floor beside his feet, curled up with her new babies. it’s a precious sight, especially when you see he’s given up his shirt in order for misty to have a soft place to lay. you sit beside him on a hay bale and gently coax him awake. “rise and shine, cowboy,” you murmur. he stirs awake, and as he catches you looking at him, he smiles sleepily. “had t’ come help misty give birth,” he mumbles. “i see that,” you reply. “you make a great cat midwife.” he smirks at that. “thank y’. been practicin’ my whole life for this moment.” which is partly true. he’s been involved in plenty of animal births. “well, now that you’ve helped bring kittens into the world, how about some pancakes and coffee for breakfast? i’m sure midwifing made you work up an appetite.”

the promise of pancakes and coffee gets him up and out of his bed of hay, food motivated as he is. “don’t mind if i do,” he says as he pecks your lips. he still checks on misty throughout the day, and if the temperatures drop too low during the night, he will bring her and her babies inside to keep them warm. soon, your house is full of kittens. rhett is attached to each of them, even though he knows you can’t keep them all. before you find homes for each one, this is what he constantly looks like:

he gives one to amy. he keeps the rest, insisting that this is their home and he doesn’t want to uproot them from it. that’s how you end up having four barn cats. at least you can say you won’t ever have a mouse problem with them around 🤷‍♀️

(thank you @laracrofted for bringing up rhett covered in kittens because it’s awakened something i think)

[gortash-did-nothing-wrong]

Enver Gortash Musings 9

Warnings: discussions of pregnancy, childbirth, widespread illness, orphans, and tiefling racism. And Enver is once again keeping secrets.

After you have your first child, internally you decide to take a break from trying for children for a few years. You want to make sure your daughter is doted on properly. You keep a scrap book of all her milestones, even glueing scraps of her outfits she outgrows into the pages. Enver and you pour over the scrapbook one night as your now year old daughter sleeps in her crib.

"She was so small." Enver says, running a finger over one of her socks from her first month of life. "I almost forgot how small babies are."

You hummed, turning the page to see the very first bit of her horn that had broken off. She had taken a tumble while learning to walk, knocking her horn on a table and cracking it. "I felt like a horrible mother that day. After she finally stopped crying, and took her afternoon nap, I cried so hard."

Enver looks at you, surprised. "You did? I don't remember that..."

"oh I didn't let you see." You said, chuckling. "You were really busy that week. There was some medical issue in the lower city? During the winter months, yes I remember now. That big orphanage got hit hard with it."

"Cholera." Enver said, his voice suddenly not so carefree. "The sewer system was damaged, and contaminated the drinking water. It was so cold in the sewers that repairs were slow to make any progress."

"Right." You said, "You were working really hard, so I didn't want to bother you. It was silly of me. Children get hurt sometimes, after all. I can't save her from every bruise."

Enver raised an eyebrow. "You... You were doing charity work, weren't you? I remember asking you to assist on that."

"I was helping bring fresh water from the upper city wells to the lower city." I said. "I just strapped Ember to my front and drove a supply wagon down. It was the least I could do. Ilmater's temple was doing the real work. All this children looked horrible... So pale and skinny."

Enver's eyes had a spark of recognition. "Right, the reporters tried to say in the paper that your hair had been a mess and had hay in it."

You laughed, "Well sometimes that happens when you work with horses. Wait... Enver the papers didn't say anything about my hair?"

He smirked, "Of course not. You think I'd let them critique my wife's appearance while she's saving the lives of orphans?"

You scoffed, "I didn't save anyone's life. I drove the horse wagon down the street to deliver water. A stable boy could have done it."

"True. But a stable boy couldn't have encouraged all the noble women to help gather water from the wells, fill barrels with the water, and coordinate it all to go to the same place."

"they didn't fill the barrels." I said dryly. "They told their servants to do it."

Enver is quiet for a moment, his eyes watching you as you turned a few pages of the scrap book. "Darling. Did you do the manual labor?"

"Along with several dozen servants, yes." I said, looking up at him, curiously. "What did you think I did? Sat on the wagon waiting for it to be done?"

Enver sighed, shaking his head but with no malice. His eyes were smiling, a chuckle rumble from his chest. "You're quite odd for a noblewoman."

"The perks of having a dirty peasant mother." I said, grinning. "Or at least a merchant mother."

Enver chuckled, "How is your family doing anyway?"

"Mother is fine, she's angry the squirrels keep eating her bell peppers, but she doesn't want to hurt them so she's trying to bury mothballs to make them not want to come around the plants." You said. "My brothers and sisters are all doing well, ah, that reminds me, Lauren is of marrying age, and she's having some trouble finding a match... You wouldn't happen to know of any eligible bachelors?"

Enver chuckled, "I know a few. Have her come to dinner this week, I'll get a feel for her and see if I know any gentlemen who would fit her."

You leaned over, kissing his cheek. "Thank you, my love."

He stared into your eyes after you pulled back, searching your soul for a moment. "Have the nursemaid watch Ember tonight."

You shut the scrap book. "Oh?"

"I want you." He said firmly. "And I want another child."

It was your turn to hesitate. "Ember is only one..."

"And if I get you pregnant tonight, she'll be a year and nine months by the time the other baby comes." Enver said smoothly, his hand coming to rest on your cheek. "Something else is troubling you. Tell me what."

There was never much compromise with Enver. "... Ember is a tiefling."

"Yes." Enver said. "You and your family have always been quite progressive with tiefling issues. What's the problem?"

"I still don't know how she came out as a tiefling. Neither of our families have any history of Tieflings." You explain. "And... And I worry that if our next child is a human... That they'll be treated differently from Ember. And then that will hurt Ember..."

Enver looked at you solemnly as you trailed off. Like always, your thoughts were on others. It was something he begrudgingly enjoyed about you. There was a naivety to your generosity, a naivety that due to his station and money he could ensure you kept. He viewed it like having a rare bird as a pet, one with an expensive diet and high vet bills. A status symbol, in a way. But that feeling had shifted just slightly after Ember had come along. And now it felt far more like owning a luxury house. With warm and inviting decor, gates and walls to keep out unpleasantness. A sense of security and comfort whenever he was around you. Especially when he would sneakily watch you mothering Ember. Just yesterday he had watched you braid her a flower crown in the garden, and once you placed it on her head he let himself daydream about the real crown he would put on Ember's head one day when she was ready.

"I am going to tell you something." He said seriously. You looked up at him, tense. "I will not tell you how I know. Do not ask."

You nodded.

"All of our children will be tieflings." He said firmly. "There is nothing I can do to change that."

You stare at him, not being able to make any sense of how he would know. Your mouth opened and closed several times, so many questions pressing against your tongue. How did he know? Why was it so? Who had done this? Was it the fault of your blood or his?

You could never read him much, but something in his eyes made you certain that regardless of all your other questions, the cause was his side of the family tree.

After what felt like forever, you managed to say, "Alright."

Enver leaned a little closer down, his mouth close enough that you could just lean up a little and kiss him. "You'll still carry my children? Or will I have to content myself with Ember as my one and only?"

You swallowed. "I... I want more children. This is just a lot to take in. The rumors were so awful the first time-"

Enver sighed, his brow frowning. "I thought I made sure none of those reached your ears."

You smiled sadly. "My mother informed me of them. Don't be cross. She was trying to protect me."

"That is my job now." Enver said firmly. "I should have a conversation with her."

"Enver." You say warningly.

He patted your cheek. "Just to make sure she's on the same page, my darling wife."

You leaned up, kissing his lips softly, a small spark of passion behind it. You pulled away, smiling up at him. "Let me tell the nursemaid she's on duty for tonight... Why don't you get a bath ready?"

Enver grabbed his cane, getting to his feet with a groan. "Off to twist the taps I go."

[supersoftly]

Personal opinion? I dont think the guy should have had Peanut in the first place. When he found the orphaned baby squirrel 7 years ago he should have passed it off to a rehabber that knew how to take care of it so it could be released. His "care" set Peanut up for failure from the get go.

That said, 100% agree this whole thing was handled so so SO badly. Even ignoring all the much more pressing issues in the state. Yes, a squirrel can get rabies but its VERY rare and in this case, he'd been a house pet for 7 years. The likelihood he had rabies was less than nill. Peanut was, technically, well cared for. He was happy and healthy and not a danger to anyone. I dont think he should have been in this situation at all and I dont think all his needs were being met being a wild animal and all BUT he was still being cared for more than adequately for a pet. The fact he had maybe a year left of life (squirrels live about 8 years) makes me feel like removing him from this home was just wrong. Its like rehoming a geriatric cat when its only known one home ever.

All in all, it was a bad situation from the get go.

But the government made it way way worse.

I appreciate your expertise on the matter as I am honestly not all that familiar with Peanut as an e-celebrity, but only judging it from what took place after his seizure and death. I was under the impression that they were in the process of getting an educational license for Peanut, lord knows shit like that can take forever, but we are taking his guardian's word for it and he obviously wants to look good now this has become a divisive issue. Generally speaking, when it comes to wild animals that have been accidentally domesticated, back at the rehabilitation centre I worked it, if they were suitable for it, they often became educational animals (we had a rescued snapping turtle who was found in the bathtub of a newly bought house and since they had no idea where his original habitat was, they kept and cared for him out of pocket for the rest of his living days, nicest snapping turtle I've ever met btw), so I feel like that is the proper course of action that would've been best if his guardian was genuinely being sincere about Peanut's welfare. The animal happiness and safety of humans are always the priority, so if it was flubbed from the getgo as you pointed out, there is no going back for those animals aside from euthanasia so I'm inclined to agree with you that if he only has so much time left, they should've let it be or better yet, come to an amicable compromise where Peanut lives :(

[guiltygearconfessions]

The animal that Dizzy is often associated with are squirrels. Squirrels are said to adopt baby squirrels that have either been orphaned or abandoned. Dizzy was found by an elderly couple as a baby and they adopted her.

-

[mostlyinthemorning]

Okay tumblr, do you want to hear the story of the time I had a live badger under the front seat of my car?

A few of you have heard this story before, but I feel like you might be okay hearing it again.

So.

Mumblety years ago, my first real job after university was working at a wildlife rescue centre. Basically, people would find injured and orphaned wild animals and they’d call us up and we’d nurse them back to health or raise them until they were grown enough to go back to the wild. Most of the time the patients were birds (robins, so many robins) and small mammals, like squirrels, but occasionally we got a more unusual animal.

One day, this baby badger comes in, he's really small, probably about 6 weeks old. 

Super cute, kind of like this:

x

At six weeks old he’s still nursing so we bottle fed him for a few weeks and then eventually, when he started eating solid food like mice, we put him out into an outdoor enclosure. By the end of the summer, he's catching and eating his own food and he's growls super ferociously whenever anyone comes up to the cage.

Ah-ha, we think, we have rehabbed him successfully. He's ready to be released!

The wildlife center isn’t really located in badger habitat, but I was planning to travel to visit my parents, about four hours south, and they lived in the country and had lots of gophers for him to eat. Thus, a plan was born. I would visit my parents, I would take the badger with me, he would be happily released into the wild, and my friend and I would go camping, just to round out the weekend. 

So, my friend (who also works at the wildlife centre) and I happily load our things and our badger into the back of my very small Toyota Tercel. (You see where this is going, I hope.)

My car was like this, but blue.

X

You might notice that this is not a very large car. And you’d be right. 

Badger safely stowed in the back seat, we head south. I think it’s important to mention that the badger is in a plywood crate with a sliding wood door that goes up and down as this will be relevant later on.

Now, it’s a blazingly hot day, probably 35C/95F and my little car doesn't have air conditioning. It is hot. Even with the windows down. And the badger is annoyed. We can tell he’s annoyed by the loud and angry growls coming from the back seat. 

Our plan is to stop about 1.5 hours into the trip to visit a bank and a grocery store. The badger doesn’t care about this plan. He’s still very annoyed.

We pull up to the bank, parking in the shade so the badger won't be toasty in the sun, and we go inside. This is before the days of paying with everything with debit cards so we needed cash. We come back out pretty quickly and open the door of the car and immediately there's a problem. The badger is still growling, but now the growls are coming from under the front seat of my car.

We slam the door closed and try to decide what to do. Because we’re going camping, we aren't really prepared for anything other than opening up the door of the crate and watching the badger run away. We don't have any gloves, or a towel, or even so much as a business card saying that we are allowed to have a live badger in our car. As we're standing there, trying to figure out what to do about our predicament, people keep coming up to us to ask if we've locked our keys in the car. (If only!)

I crack open the door of the car a few times, and the badger growls at me every time. Clearly, he lives under the front seat of the car now. We have to do something. It’s still hot, and now we’re behind schedule and we still have 2.5 hours left to drive. 

A guy in a big oilfield truck pulls into the parking spot beside us. Figuring we don’t have a choice, we accost him as he gets out of his truck and ask if he has any gloves we can borrow. He admits that he does, but, of course, he wants to know why.

We explain.

He absolutely refuses to get involved but he agrees to lend us his gloves. Apparently he doesn’t have any reservations about watching two 20-something young women wrestle a live badger as long as he doesn’t have to do it himself. Gloves secured, we open the door of the car.

The growling gets louder.

It's still coming from under the seat.

Now, I don't know if you've ever tried to stick your hand under the front seat of a Toyota Tercel in order to retrieve a live badger. But there's not much room. 

The other thing you should probably know about badgers is that the scruff of their neck is extremely loose so that they can twist around if a predator grabs them. 

All of this is to say that wrestling a badger out from under the seat of your car is vaguely similar to trying to fish an angry, squirmy cat out from underneath your bed, if the cat had 2 inch claws and the ability to completely rotate in its own skin. In a public parking lot. While trying not to attract a crowd of onlookers. 

Finally, after much swearing, we manage to shove the badger out from under the seat, I grab it and slam it back into its crate. 

Whew, we think. At least we fixed that problem. But everything is okay now. Back to the plan!

It takes about five seconds for us to discover that the badger released himself by sticking his claws under the sliding door and lifting it up.

At this point, you probably won’t be surprised to learn that long with our lack of gloves, we also don't have any tools that we might use to fix the door of the crate. But somehow we manage to wedge the door of the crate shut. 

Whew, we think. At least we fixed that problem. But everything is okay now. Back to the plan!

You might be sensing a theme, and you’d be right. With the hindsight of some years since then, we probably should have turned around. Oh, to be 23 again.

It's still 35 degrees.

The badger is still angry.

We still have 2.5 hours worth of driving ahead of us.

We head out on the highway and the trip gains the soundtrack that I can still hear to this day.

Growl, growl, scratch, scratch.

Growl, growl, scratch, scratch.

Growl, growl, scratch, scratch.

We turn up the music. The badger growls louder.

I’m already doing ten over the speed limit. I drive a bit faster. Did I mention that the car doesn’t have air conditioning?

Growl, growl, scratch, scratch.

Thunk. Scratch, scratch. Thunk.

Our gerry-rigged closure on the crate has failed and the badger is sticking his claws beneath the door and lifting up the door. It’s only going to be seconds before a hot angry badger is loose in the car. We’re fifteen minutes from my parents’ house. 

I pull onto the shoulder of the highway and my friend scrambles into the backseat. Putting all of her weight on the sliding door, she holds it down as the badger scratches furiously. I pull back onto the highway, now I’m going twenty over the limit. 

Fifteen long, hot, and exhausting minutes later, we arrive at my parents’ house. I swear the badger's growls can be heard in Ottawa. Gasping a hello to my mom and dad, we lug the heavy crate with the heavy badger out into the field, wanting to release it as quickly as possible.

The growling gets louder. The crate might be the heaviest thing I’ve carried in my life. Staggering through the field, we finally decide we're far enough away from the house. We lift the door of the crate. The badger dashes for freedom—which is to say that it runs ten feet away and turns to look at us. 

Whew, we think. At least we made it here. But everything is okay now. We did it!

Heaving a sigh of relief, we gather up the crate and turn to go back the way we came. 

The badger follows us.

We walk faster.

The badger chases after us, practically at our heels.

We jump across the creek.

The badger launches itself into the water, swimming after us. 

We stop. The badger comes and sits at our feet like the world’s shortest, widest dog. We look at it. It stares back at us. Maybe the badger just needs a moment to consider its life of freedom. We wait. The badger wanders away. We pick up the crate for a second time and try to walk away. The badger is having none of it. It gallops after us. I pick up the wet badger and tuck it under my arm. This is the happiest it's been all day. Clearly, we are not releasing this badger into the wild.

Now, friends, we have a dilemma. We’re four hours from home, it’s getting late, and whatever we decide to from this point forward is going to involve a slightly damp, half-grown badger made of growls.

Our plan, if you can call it that at this point, was to release the badger and then go camping in a nearby national park. This now seems like a bad idea. But we're four hours from home and we have to do something. 

So. 

We decide to take the badger camping. In a moment of prudence, we forgo the national park and choose a nearby provincial park instead. 

We drive to the park. The badger rides on my friend’s lap. There’s no growling.

We set up our campsite. Thankfully, the campground is nearly empty. While we’re setting up the tent, the badger explores the campsite, amusing himself by digging a few holes and making sure to keep us in sight. It was like having a very short, very growly dog who likes to dig.

I’m sure it won’t surprise you in the least if I say that it’s at this point that we realize we’ve forgotten the matches for the stove. 

The nearest town is twenty minutes away. The badger will have to go back in the crate for the journey. The badger is not a fan of this idea. But we get him back into the crate—something that’s a lot easier now that we know he’s not trying to eat us—and we head for town, accompanied by the now-familiar symphony of growling. 

Now, it's been a bit of a day. So I think I should be forgiven for accidentally going over the speed limit on the way out of the campsite. This is, of course, when I get pulled over. Remember, we don't have a single piece of official wildlife-related ID between us, not even so much as a business card. This was before cell phones so we can’t even phone the wildlife center to vouch for us. We're both convinced that this is it, that we're probably going to jail for wildlife smuggling. And the badger is never getting out of that crate. In the backseat, the badger is growling louder than ever. 

The officer comes up to the car window.

The badger growls.

We hold our breath.

The badger growls even louder. 

The officer proceeds to absolutely ream me out for going twenty over the limit. The badger growls at every word. The officer doesn't even acknowledge the badger. I apologize profusely. I promise to never ever do it again. The officer gives me a warning. The badger growls. I drive away very, very slowly.

The next day we drive home and I can't even remember the details of the trip, I think I've blocked it out, but I’m pretty sure we let the badger had free-run of the car. When we got back to the wildlife center, we learned that badgers don't leave their moms until they're a bit older. We put him back in his cage, and about four months later, he digs his way out. And every now and then for about a year after that, people would come to the wildlife centre and say that an overly-friendly badger had come up to them on our nature trail. 

And this is why I always make sure to carry gloves in my car.

THE END

[atelierlili]

Everlark Fic brainstorming time (I just have an headache rn and it’s stoping me from doing anything productive)

As Snow reigns continues over Panem, he’s increasingly aware of the growing underground murmurings of the rebellion. He knows he can’t have eyes everywhere in Panem- unless he made them himself.

He develops small group of sleeper agents- a small group of young boys and girls (usually district orphans/children of avoxes) who main purpose is to unknowingly observe and sabotage rebellion efforts once they are activated. They all undergo intensive conditioning under the influence of tracker jacket venom, a lot of the children die under the intensity of the hijack conditioning, but some survive.

A young boy is amongst them and after he finishes the hijacking program, he is then physically altered to resemble Peeta Mellark, the youngest Mellark son who was murdered by his mother. (The family is not aware of this fact yet.) He is installed into the new household with little trouble, the abuse in the Mellark household makes it easy to hide any discrepancies the boy would have.

The boy grows up unaware of the weapon he is, but he’s always watching, taking in, observing his surroundings. One day he catches a young girl and her father cross the fence. They walking hand in hand and singing. He doesn’t know why but he feels compelled to make note of it.

Next time he sees her, she’s wearing her father’s jacket and giving her baby sister her lunch despite looking hungrily at the meal. Such a warm selfless act moves something inside him.

Next time he sees her again. He gives her bread.

After that, she sells squirrels to Mr. Mellark. It’s then he decides to befriend her. She’s a good shooter. Something tells him that’s worth keeping around.

He’s sixteen going on seventeen when the whispers of rebellion reaches his ears. Katniss is weary about it all. Peeta though…he’s been getting these strange dreams lately….

And that’s all my brain go for now!

[noirbriar]

Fire & Stone AU: Bonds

The end of the Third Age, peace has come. Yet Glorfindel and Erestor find themselves in a bit of trouble with outdated customs.

In which elven high society, especially the line of Finwe, have rules and traditions to be followed for noble born elves. No exceptions.

An AU where the sons of Durin lived and Maglor resides now in Imladris some time before The Hobbit. OOC a high possibility, its all on me. Coughed out this random ficlet for fun and excuse for some family drama.

Things of note/warnings: none although maybe child acquisition? also, the writer's tolkien knowledge is rather rudimentary still so anything in here should just be taken as a pure AU. --- "Now this is a rare sight! A new age of peace and here you are, bested by an orc! My young commander, I see you have been slacking." Maglor strides in, his robes swishing quietly into the healing wing. "Don't antagonise the patient." Elrond prompts dryly from behind as he arranges his salves and bandages at the side to be cleared away by the other healers. "I would like to see you try to go up against a double ambush while trying to get the villagers to safety with a lean troop." Erestor grumbles from his spot in the bed, eyes closed, trying to focus in putting up his mental walls, blocking out the numb pain from his wretched shoulder from his mate. "A new age yet the foul damn creatures continue to be a pain in the ass."

"And I heard from Kili and Tauriel you picked up a gift along the way?" Maglor grins as he reaches out to pat the small lump buried into Erestor's better side. Only to be rewarded with a bite and a sharp cry as the old Feanorian quickly pulls his hand back to safety from the fiesty child on defensive.

A toddler who could barely walk really.

"And don't tease the elfling, Atya." Elrond admonishes softly though with a soft smile .The healer tries to brush away the messy silvery blond hair from the elfling's face, but pulls back when the child pulls away from his touch.The elfling resumes clutching onto Erestor like a baby squirrel.

"Unfortunately he seems to be an orphan long before the attack, being cared for by his fellow villagers all this while from what I heard. Still, the little one seems to have taken a great liking to his protector... I suppose its really a Feanorian trait to pick up little ones and be chosen by them." The Lord of Imladris slowly adds, his eyes alight with mischief much like his younger self.

Maglor chuckles under his breath at the statement with a shake of his head. Whereas the elfling simply stare at the father and son duo balefully, his eyes narrowed in a way that is reminiscence to a displeased Erestor. Before the little one huddles closer to the dark haired elf for comfort.

Erestor is quiet, as he lets the child do as he please, caressing the elfling's back before his eyes begain to droop, his body demanding for a healing sleep. Elrond leaves, leaving his adoptive father to watch over his old follower. Maglor then decides to sings a healing song for his old soldier that he have come to care for dearly. Its was too lovely a day to be without song anyway. and the weakened child could use some power from a Song after such an ordeal.

It was a while before the Singer notices Erestor trembling in his rest, almost in pain from what Elrond has deemed a normal wound.The elfling whimpers in worry. Maglor stops and sits on the bed instead to examine the clean bandages. Baffled, he puts his hand onto the younger elf's hand instead and tries to reach out with his weak fea to provide some comfort from the pain.

For a moment there is warmth, before something tingles, and pulls. Which causes Maglor jumps back in shock and the elfling to be startled in turn, before starting to cry. Its as if someone has dumped him into the Brunien before flinging his fea across the sea... So Maglor does the only reasonable thing in this situation- "ELROND!!" ---

Glorfindel is worried. Lately, he could hardly feel his mate through their young bond. (A bond! At long last, his beloved's fea melded with his own, singing ever so sweet. He have never felt so at peace and so complete with another heart beating with his own. ) As the escort of Celeborn, Galadriel and the Galadhrim to Imladris, the warrior had to be apart from his husband for a more than a few months, shortly after their bonding and their return from Gondor. It was a slow journey home, as he and his troops guided the elves awaiting to sail for the West to the last Homely House.

Last he heard before he left, there were news of stray orcs, stragglers along the borders. With all the administrative work delegated to others in the household and council, Erestor have taken upon himself to command some troops to check on the matter. Yet no messengers have come by with regards to any trouble and he felt no distress from Erestor, so there was some comfort in that. The Captain knows his husband is a master with his blades, the Chief Councillor skilled with his swords even after years of administrative work. However the lost of gentle nudges and touches from his mate is still concerning.

And if he had nudges Asfaloth a little faster upon spotting reaching the main bridge, no one was willing to call him out on it. What he had not expect was a pair of restless twins awaiting for their arrival at the end of it. "Greetings, Grandfather! Grandmother! We hope your journey has been smooth." Elladan greeted as Elrohir proceeded forward and they greeted their elders .Almost too formal, Glorfindel thought. "Elladan? Elrohir? I did not expect you both to greet us all the way out here. What trouble did you both get into this time?" Glorfindel grins at the twins.

"Ah ha! But its not us you should be worried about, dear Captain." Elrohir smirks while Elladan strides up and pats the Golden Elf wryly with a glint in his dark eyes.

"Its you."

-- In the twilight, Glorfindel grits his teeth as he is starting to be immensely annoyed that he is unable to at least find his husband first. Unable to even freshen up after days of travel, before he was whisked away by Elladan and Elrohir into the inner wings of the House. His bond with Erestor still quiet despite the proximity, even with the twins assuring that Erestor was in Imladris.

Following closely beside him, are the curious Lord and Lady of Lothlorien, both by the request of the twins' father.

"For support." Whatever that means. What greeted him at the large outdoor meeting chamber that Elrond favors, was the Lord of Imladris himself, sitting instead by the side seat of the long table. The head chair was empty. Further away, was unmistakably, though surprisingly, the second son of Feanor. As Maglor turns to greet the guests, Glorfindel sees clearly now. No longer dressed in his usual plain and unremarkable robes, but in elegant brocade and silk. Maglor's hair adorned with the style of old elves of a forgotten time with a beautifully crafted circlet adorned with small moonstones by a Master smith, marking his status as a noble.

Elladan and Elrohir gives a bow and steps slightly out by the corridor. Excusing themselves from this meeting. Something is wrong.

"My greetings, Laurefindil. You have finally returned. Now take a seat, I feel that we must have an urgent discussion." Maglor smiles and gestures to the seat on the opposite side of the table. Formal manners of court and Quenya. Not good. Glorfindel's warrior instincts are rising up.

"Galadriel, Celeborn, my greetings. As Glorfindel's cousin and family, please, pardon for a lack of hospitality but I'm afraid it must be done. Do take a seat as well beside your kin."

"What are you up to now, Maglor." Celeborn remarks flatly, trying to keep some basic civility with the Son of Feanor. plainly ignoring the use of Quenya entirely, and carefully leading his wife to her seat with Elrond guiding his in-laws.

Maglor does not grace with a reply but with a small smile, as he takes a seat at the head chair, hands clasps together before him. A warm air of quiet descends upon the noble born elves in the peaceful valley as time slows with only the sound of the waterfalls and music by the minstrels. A picture of serenity.

---

"So...what is the fuss for? Why is everyone crowding around the balconies and trees?" Kili asks as he observes the happenings around him, casually munching on an apple slice, and feeding Tauriel a slice as well.Being ever the doting husband.

The dwarven prince and his wife are perching precariously on a balcony railing with Thorin and Bilbo lounging nearby. The King Under The Mountain and his Consort both unbothered by the commotion.

They were simply enjoying the quiet afternoon with Bilbo's tea. Before dozens of curious denizens of the elven haven wandered into the public pavilion. From the maids to the council members, curious and eager about something.Their excitement and low murmurings like the rustling of the leaves.

And that something is happening right now.

---

Glorfindel's instincts are on high alert. But finally, impatience to reunite with his mate had won out. The Golden Lord chooses to strike on offensive.

"So, why have you called me here, Makalaure?" The Golden Lord of Gondolin begins. There was none of his usual humour.

"Long has it been since I must bear that name and even the responsibilities of a Lord. Though I care not but only for my family. My father and brothers no longer on these shores. Yet my sons and nephews were. I am ashamed to be a terrible Uncle and Father, unable to care for them until its too late." Maglor's voice wavers as he tries not to delve too deep into memories.

A careful strike has Glorfindel tensing up on defensive as he catches on to Maglor's words, but he remains silent. This is a problem.

"You were hurt and in sorrow, and you didn't know." Elrond reasons quietly, as he pats Maglor's shaking hands gently, as father and son share comfort in each other's presence for a moment.

"Alas, in this moment that I am able, I must do what is right, in place of my brother, or I shall not be able to face my younger brother and my family in the Void..."

Slowly, the old Lord turns back to Glorfindel, eyes alight. The last son of Feanor then demands-

"So tell me, Laurefindil. Did you think you can skip on tradition and wed my only nephew left without the proper procedure and rites worthy of the great-grandson of Finwe, grandson of Feanor? The son of Caranthir the Dark?"

The music goes silent, the air stills.

Celeborn and Galadriel sits higher at the revelation, with the Lord turning to his Lady in surprise and wonder. Only to receive a graceful shake of her head in silent reply by the great Lady of Lothlorien. So the two turn instead to the great Lord of the House of the Golden Flower, who is resisting the urge to show any reaction.

Well, shit.

---

Time froze before chaos breaks out in the Last Homely House. There were a range of emotions with gasps and confusion by the residents of Imladris, especially from the old Feanorians in the household.

A living descendant of Feanor? Son of Caranthir? Erestor? The youngest General under Maedhros and Maglor's command? Their Chief Councillor, the Tempest of Imladris? There were so many questions, one of the old followers had even begun to cry.

Kili looks around in confusion.

"Soooo context? Anyone?"

"Oh..oh dear." Tauriel murmurs quietly," I think I get it now and this isn't good." The elleth turns to her in-laws, "Also, Lord Maglor's circlet...did you both know about this?"

The elves all turn to the old King, who simply took his time to answer." As a friend and fellow uncle, it was the least I could do," and the dwarf takes a sip of his ale and left it as that.

"Why? I mean, is there like a problem here with Erestor being related to Maglor...or I dunno, something?" Kili continues, trying his best to wrap his head around this peculiar situation.

"Yes, and Lord Maglor is calling Lord Glorfindel and Lord Erestor's marriage into question as Erestor's elder. I believe he is displeased with the lack of a marriage contract in accordance to the Marriage Code."

He stares at Tauriel," We...Is this an elf thing? We didn't have that when we married?"

"I'm Silvan, dear. This only apply to the high born elves."

Kili blinks, and instead turns to Bilbo. Thorin sighs at his nephew pointedly and tiredly," Balin's going to flip if he hears this." His Hobbit chuckles at the younger dwarf's blank look before taking a moment to enlighten the younger dwarf.

"Its basically a procedure by both parties and their families.Before marriage and the binding of fea, nobles may undergo trials to prove the worthiness of their match. A terribly lengthy process."

"They are also assessed by their assets and wealth and status of 3 generations minimum. Before they dive deeper into binding agreements regarding their descendants, heirs, inheritance and the like. Down to even the minute details of scenarios like, what should happen if they fade or sail. Or if they reach Valinor should there be other lovers? Or any possible family feuds to address. Possibly even in unspeakable situations such as Separation, which what Men called a divorce. Something that dwarrow do not have as you all only have Ones. " Bilbo takes a quick puff of his pipe, "its a serious thing to the high born elves like those originally from the Valinor, and especially so to the line of Finwe."

There soon was some commotion down in the meeting hall where Maglor and Glorfindel's discussion were getting louder. The Son of Feanor has even gotten up from his chair to articulate something with a wide flair which the Golden Lord is trying to rebuke with obvious gestures. "Oh...It looks like the other party who is involved is here." Bilbo muses with an amused smile as he spots dark figure gliding by the corridors.

---

"-We have bonded with your's and Elrond's blessing have we not!?" Glorfindel tries to reason, the discussion now jumping back to Westron as he gets frustrated with the roundabout argument looping endlessly.

"That was without the knowledge that he is my blood kin! And how dare you keep this from us? Do you disrespect his roots?!" Maglor leans onto the table with both hands, unwilling to back down.

"We are almost in the Fourth Age, what use do we have any more of old redundant laws anyway?" Glorfindel shoots back, thinking back of all the tedious practices and rules from the Years of the Trees to his time in Gondolin, the stifling rules of nobility and how ridiculous it has gotten when he returned up till now.

"A Code that was implemented to protect the welfare of all involved! Remember the mess that involved my Grandfather and his wives! Even Elrond went through with the Code!"

Elrond hums in a detached sort of way as his eyes glazes over, not meeting his in-laws' eyes. He quickly pushes down the memories of the long and tedious marriage discussions and procedures before his marriage to Celebrian.

"Then I shall remind you of Thingol and Luthien and then look what that had nearly wrought as well!" Glorfindel snaps, his patience long gone.The Lord of the Golden Flower glowers back in fury, the balrog slayer’s eyes ablaze.

"Long has been our wish to be wed simply like any other eldar who are free from the bonds of duty and oaths that haunt us! We have beheld no other for several yeni till we felt we are free to live as we desire! Codes and Laws and Oaths all be damned!"

"My heart is Erestor's, as his is mine till the Remaking-Nay! Even after that! The only ones that matter in this relationship are myself and my mate! No other! May they be eldar or edain, maia or even the Valar themselves! I will not allow even you, Makalaure, to take away our joy simply for the sake of some out dated tradition! Our hearts are ours alone, is that not how it should be?!"

"OH! Then even if my nephew has your child? What then?!" the Son of Feanor waves with a flourish of his arm towards the entrance way. Glorfindel's mind grinds to a sudden halt as he then turns to Erestor who had arrived. Like a trickling dam, the warrior felt the connection to his mate burst forth and return with the lowering of Erestor's mental walls. A rush of warmth and fullness fill his fea before he felt his breath leave him in a rush. The yearning and love flowing down steadily while Glorfindel could only stare at his handsome mate striding in. The Chief Councillor ignoring the twin guards by the hall's entrance with a wave of his dark, loose robes in a flurry. His storm cloud, wild and fierce even with a tiny blond elfling in his arms, watching him with wide dark eyes...

Oh. Hold up.

"...What?"

---

A/N:Yeah I'll go yeet myself out now

[psi-spectacular]

Since I saw @kibasniper111 do this for the campers, I wanna do some headcanons I have for the interns! Also they get sadder as you go down, be warned.

Raz

Trans kid who's fully accepted by his parents. Sorry I just really can't see the aquatos being transphobic and genuinely don't think transphobia is super common in the psychonauts universe? He's unlabeled at the moment and uses he/him pronouns.

Nona mixing up Raz's name with his brothers is because her brain had to connect Raz now having a boy name and connecting that to the other brothers so shes just a lil confused but shes got the spirit

He has (currently) undiagnosed autism, mostly because 1. there is no way the aquato family is able to afford a psychologist but 2. Augustus is also autistic and they have similar mannerisms, sensory issues, and stims so most of the family doesnt suspect that Raz is neurodivergent, they just think he takes after his father.

His helmet and googles are very much comfort items, but they also help with sensory issues. While they block out noise and reduce color in the area around him if needed, his helmet also stops him from constantly hearing the thoughts of others, which can easily overwhelm him.

He's mostly able to speak to smaller animals, mainly rodents like mice, rats, and squirrels, since they were the ones that were most common at different areas he would travel too.

He fell into water and almost drowned when he was little and that was the biggest thing that spurred the "hand of galocchio" thing.

Raz spent a lot of time in libraries and bookstores in the many towns he's traveled to in between practice and shows, and that was the way he discovered both his love for psychology and true psychic tales.

Raz is sensory seeking and douses everything he eats in hot sauce and spices. He'll try pretty much anything as long as its free and remotely edible. This extends to touch, he likes rubbing his hands on textured surfaces, especially velvet and fur.

He rubs his gloves on his face, bites, and scratches at them when he's stressed, so they're worn down where he's done it.

He has a plush toy Nona made him when he was a baby that used to be a rabbit but it's been repeatedly bitten, crushed, splattered in mud, and fixed so many times that it barely looks like a specific thing anymore, But he refuses to part with it no matter what.

His relationship with the junior agents goes from "eugh its weird having a kid here, we can't swear anymore." to "hello, this is our emotional support 10 year old, his name is shitfuck, we feed him moss, he's the golden retriver that keeps the cheetahs in our hearts from going insane, we constantly make fun of him and if you do anything to hurt his feelings no one will find your body."

Dona taught him how to forage and cook when he was little.

He enjoys dressing up and acting out roles whenever he can, and is very quick on his feet with his roles. He gets into LARPing later in life.

Raz doesn't have a specific specialty, so he's a bit of a jack of all trades when it comes to powers.

Morris

Another trans dude, Wowza. He's been out for a shorter time than Raz, but he's pretty comfortable with where he is right now. He's also bi! Woo.

He's peruvian, and was orphaned at a very young age before being adopted at around age 5 by his moms. He's currently 16.

He was one of Milla's orphans, but he was very young when the fire happened and he doesn't remember what happened or Milla, but his back did get injured in the fire and never fully healed, and that's why he's in the wheelchair.

His moms are rockabillies who own a motorcycle repair shop in the outskirts of Trujillo, They're big into 50's american culture and almost always have the radio on to whatever rock station is playing at the time, which helped inspire his love of radio and older fashion style. The albums he plays on KLOB are the only ones they let him bring because they were copies of records they already had.

He has a regular wheelchair with, you know, wheels, but when he fully learned levitation he found it easier to move around with a chair on a lev ball, especially on rougher terrain, so thats what he usually uses.

Despite his amount of Rizz he has no clue that Adam has a crush on him (not totally his fault, Adam's attempts of flirting are stuttery at best). He's just. Slightly oblivious to the feelings of others.

He acts like he doesnt care what people think. He very much does, and has some very overcompetative tendancies.

He and Gisu met in the motherlobe and have been part of the intern program for the longest, spending three years doing dumb shit in the woods while brushing off their intern duties or whatever they are.

He immediately took Queepie under his wing and they end up becoming really good friends, even if he isn't the greatest DJ. Cause he's, yknow, like 8.

Gisu

She/Her Intersex transmasc bisexual. Binds.

She's an Iranian immigrant who lives in a small town in the midwest, Same town as Lizzie and Norma. They're families know each other and they're childhood friends.

AuDHD and NPD.

She's an only child and lives with her mother and grandparents. She's slightly spoiled and they pretty much let her do whatever she wants, as long as she doesn't get arrested.

She's autistic and has a special interest in paleontology and robotics. She was part of her school's robotics team before joining the psychonauts.

She's very much a romantic, but tends to leap into crushes quickly and gets her heart broken.

Speaking of, she and Norma are QPPs.

Morris and her are besties and each others hypeman.

She has a tendency to work on her projects late into the night to the point of not noticing that its three in the morning by the time she finishes something.

She's easily able to focus on something that interests her, but if she doesn't think its something she would like to do, she procrastinates and avoids it like the plague. She gets easily distracted when she finally does get started.

Has a fursona. Its an otter.

BIG Boy band fan. All paul but also n-street, synced up boys, and whatever she can get her hands on. She doesn't care if its considered "trashy", it sounds good to her ears!

Also daft punk.

She loves Dion for his lack of swag and dumb barry b benson ass expressions

She was raised muslim and is personally agnostic but Sam convinced her Jesus and Moses were psychic and she constantly pisses Norma (catholic) off by bringing it up.

She's smart and gets good grades but doesn't have much respect for authority. She has A's and B's despite skipping most of her classes.

Adam

Transfem gay, but currently unaware of his gender, mostly from repression and not feeling the need to go too far inward. (Dont all guys wish they could wake up in the body of a girl and have no one question it and call him a she?) She/He, 16 years old.

She's from a rich, very influential family in britan known for having a lot of successful and gifted members. There's a lot of push for all the kids to do something "big" with their lives, and many begin to achieve that at very young, most having scholarships and awards at young ages.

And then there's Adam. Her biggest achievements are being

Truman's intern and that time she reached the quarterfinals of the county debate tournament. She's surrounded by ivy bound prodigies and musical geniuses and she's just… some history buff. She fades into the background noise, and feels like she's failing her family despite his best efforts.

Not fully conscious of the amount of wealth his family has. What do you mean your family doesn't send you 80 dollar tea overseas every month?

On a lighter note, He's taken it upon himself to become a bit of a "big brother" to Raz because he has a sibling around his age and he reminds her of them. She's trying to teach him how to play tetris. • As mentioned before, he has a crush on Morris but is terrible at flirting. He's one of Morris' few listeners on KLOB, but mostly does it because he enjoys hearing his voice.

She and Lizzie are absolutely TOIGHT. Lizzie immediately pinned her as a dweeb first time they met and she was right. They became a lot friendlier over time and were pen pals when Adam went back home after their first year.

Adam's eyes are all funky because he's got extra strong aura reading abilities, but the downside is that he basically goes blind for a while sometimes and has to orient around the world by seeing others auras and how they reflect off and affect objects.

Had a cringey katana-and-fedora phase when she was like 13. He tries to repress the memory. Her friends won't let her live it down because they have photo evidence.

Telekinesis specialist

Sam

CW For parental neglect, bullying, and parentification. Hoo boy lotta thoughts here.

Genderfluid Xenogendered Lesbian but not fully out to people who aren't the other junior agents. 14 and uses any pronouns but mainly she/her publicly.

Her family life is... strained. She lives in a pretty small town in the middle of nowhere, southeast america. Her family was normal when she still felt like a kid, but after Dogen acidentally blew up a bullies head, it became a frantic rush of lawyers, policemen, and hospital visits.

Since her parents were frequently away trying to figure out ways to mitigate Dogens abilities and find ways to settle the lawsuit they got, Sam would spend many hours alone. She quickly had to figure out how to cook and gather food outside to sustain herself because they would sometimes be in too much of a rush to prepare anything or be gone for longer than expected.

As things started to calm down, her parents would leave her alone with Dogen while they went off doing whatever else, and when they came back they would be too tired or too stressed to help her with anything.

She spent most of her days in the companionship of animals, almost always got up whenever Dogen was hungry or sick or had a nightmare, just to feed him and make sure he was okay.

Her parents basically treated her like a third adult when she was like 10, venting to her and letting her do most of the chores in the house when they were away, and they never really left her with a babysitter because she's "so mature for her age".

She has a strong fear of developing it herself, so she represses her anger. When someone is being mean to her and she starts focusing more on not blowing up than whats happening so she gets an unfocused look which leads to more teasing.

She eventually decided to just play into the "stupid weird girl" role, hoping being the butt of a joke in a friend group and making people laugh would help ease up her anger if she just laughs it off as her being dumb. (This ended up leaking into her and Norma's relationship and was part of the reason why they broke up.)

She did actually get in prison! She had a meltdown when the teasing became too much and attacked one of the girls in her "friend" group. She got sent to juvie for that. Her parents had to get a lot of recommendations from Compton to get her into the intern program and send her away.

The anxiety is genetic!!! Yayyyy!! Same with the autism.

Her trauma's left her with a very dysfunctional view of relationships and uses the animals as a way to feel like she has some control over her life and that she isn't a servant, she can lead too and help others improve themselves. This ended up leaking into

Heavy backstory stuff outta the way, back to the present. Sam's nickname is barncat because she runs off in the middle of the night and comes back the day after covered in mud and whatever else. She's basically made herself queen of the questionable area and forages for food and scrap metal at night. also she occasionally hacks up hairballs. no one wants to know why

Despite her.. questionable pancakes, Sam is actually a very good chef! She's just better at using more dubious ingredients.

She has PCOS and is on birth control to regulate it (projecting...)

Also IBS! She gets random tummy aches a lot and has zero clue why it happens.

Sam's kinlist includes raku chan gregor samsa and that canary she saw once when she was a kid

Sam constantly masks back home and the motherlobe is the only place she feels she can be weird and free. She used to have longer hair but she lopped it off sometime during her internship because dysphoria (i hc its like end of summer so near the end of the intern program that year)

Sam ends up deciding to become Raz's weird older sister. Sam has no braincells, raz simultaneously has a lot of and no braincells at the same time, but when they're together they somehow add up to -7. She gives Raz advice that ranges from suprisingly helpful to very dubious

She really does love her grandpa, even if she's seen less and less of him throughout her life.

Her specialty is zoolingualism, but I think she'd be skilled at abilities that require her hands, like Psi-Punch and confusion bombs. She used mental connection to create a lasso of sorts she calls "critical thinking" which lets her lasso enemies and tie them down.

Norma

Cw for emotional abuse and manipulation.

Norma's a trans girl, who uses she/her pronouns exclusively. She's a lesbian, 15 years old. She's also Afro-Filipina.

I've mentioned this, but her mother is the mayor of the town they're from. They've very much in the higher rung of their town when it comes to wealth.

Norma's mother is very cold and analytical, constantly seeing most things she does as transactional. Every positive interaction is a step towards a vote, every negative action reflects badly on her status. Average politician. This extends to her daughters and how she expects them to act.

She's the kid that's always trying to be on her parents good side, because failure isnt tolerated in their family and definite high expectations for both sisters and how they're supposed to behave. The two of them constantly needed to fight to get their mothers affection and love. But Lizzie's pretty much given up on trying to appease her, so despite her powers being seen as "less rare", she's the preferred child now.

Her mom uses her as a token of "I'm not transphobic! I have a trans kid!" Despite, in private, constantly misgendering her and insisting she barely change her name (norman to norma) You know how transphobes are a minority in this verse? Yeeep. Its better for her mom to pretend her views are something else so she can get more votes.

Should I add the two of them had a catholic upbringing? Big amount of guilt on her end but at the same time a sense of superiority and entitlement. She's devout and retreats into religious studies as a coping mechanism

Raz makes her feel threatened in her status as "#1 student" and she's very aggressive about it.

She's still not over her and Sam's breakup and is slowly starting to obsess over her and why it ended.

Norma is a big fan of detective shows like Columbo, Sherlock, and Death Book. She absolutely wants to be a detective and solve mysteries, part of the reason why she joined the intern program.

She has NPD, BPD, Autism, and struggles with insomnia.

Despite her last name, neutral to christmas.

Shes a teachers pet and would remind the teacher of the homework just to piss a specific person off.

Touch averse, only lets people she trusts touch her.

She's a closet weeb and uses her psychic abilities to make her glasses glow like an anime character

She has a sherlock based tumblr (or livejournal or whatever you want them to use) and gets into ship discourse at 3 am. She also writes amateur death note yaoi. On paper. She gets so embarassed about it she burns it as soon as she's done.

She misses the time she spend with her sister and envies how much freedom she has from rebelling against her parents. She wishes she could do the same but also wishes they could go back to normal so Lizzie can have a seat at the dinner table again.

She can do glassblowing with her hands.

Lizzie

Same CWs as Norma, Cw for emotional abuse and manipulation.

She's closeted genderqueer and a lesbian, uses They/She pronouns. She and Norma are twins but Norma insists she's the older one.

She's just given up on her relationship with her parents. No matter what they do, she isn't going to go back to constant competition and stress. She doesn't want that anymore. The Natividad sisters give off "rich parents in a gated community" vibes but Lizzie abhors their entire lifestyle and spends like 90% of her time outside the house doing random shit

She's realized the privilege that comes with her position, and decided to hang out more in punk spaces and with kids considered "teen delinquents" or "the wrong crowd".

She prefers dumpsterdiving and thrifting over the stuff her parents buy her, stitching and crafting her own clothes is an act of rebellion because they constantly scold her for wearing "Rags".

Her parents finally gave up, deciding to go "Fine, you want to be stubborn? We'll just pretend you don't exist." They give her somewhere to live but otherwise don't acknowledge her existence in the family until she learns to behave. She created a second hangout spot in an abandoned building with her friends and she'd spend long hours there.

She'd rather be a high school slacker who hangs out with poorer punk kids who arent "in the right groups" and actually have a social life than fighting for the spot of "perfect precious angel child" for the rest of her life. No matter how many punishments they give her. She won't let anyone know, but the way her parents treat and talk about her really hurts.

She has undying hatred for hostile architecture and drags Norma along to melt the spikes.

She fake smokes. Using candy cigarettes and using her powers to make smoke because it makes her look cool but she doesn't want lung cancer.

Very into Christmas but more into the gift making and pagan traditions.

She reads vampire romance novels for flirting tips (and also cuz they're her guilty pleasure). She also pretends to be a vampire sometimes.

She enjoys going cryptid hunting and scouring local forums for information.

Hates wearing fancy dresses. Ripped up skirts and suits ONLY.

Introduced Norma to anime, favorite is Akira and fave manga is Battle Angel Alita.

[forktutwtt]

Fionna and Cake finale was cool and great and I loved it yeah yeah

But I do have one major problem with it:

Bringing the alt reality characters into Fionna and Cake’s world permanently is dumb.

Finn’s son just abandons his family forever?? That implies he either left farm dad Finn behind right after he put himself in danger for him, or he abandoned with orphaned younger siblings to be alone (depending on if farm dad Finn died to scarab or not)

And baby Finn being in the vampire world was such a good subtle blip of hope for that world but I guess it’s just fucked now

It didn’t really add much and felt extremely forced. Like, if Prismo was bringing all the allies they met, why wouldn’t he bring Winter King Princess Bubblegum? Or the f&c fan girl with the bike? If he considered the squirrel man helpful enough it only makes sense they’d be there too. Felt like unnecessary fan service meant to make things “happier” but actually has really bad implications.

[sitting-on-me-bum]

Düzce, Turkey

Orphaned baby squirrels are held by an official from the Düzce department of nature conservation and national parks after their mother was found dead

Photograph: Anadolu Agency/Anadolu/Getty Images

[maythevoidnotscreamback]

Story Idea: Sailor Moon but Batman style!

Basically, it's Sailor Moon but since there isn't any magic (at least maybe not for her and/or the Senshi/TK {yet? It would depend on how you want to take it}) she's more like Batman: a regular person but she's not stinking rich because her parents were killed and she and her brother inherited their fortune. No, she's just a regular mid-20's wig-maker by day (she uses said wigs for her various investigation disguises since there's no Luna Pen, and uses a very specific one when out at night, and for them to work her actual hair is pretty friggin' short to use them efficiently) and the Masked Sailor Suited Vigilante Sailor Moon by night.

Now for this to work, I'm thinking that Sailor Moon is definitely the first of the Senshi to become active, not Venus, because it is through Moon that the girls are 'endorsed' so to speak to become Senshi. And it's all due to part of this AU!Usa's backstory.

Long story short (feel free to contact me for any and/or all details if you're interested; though be warned I might not have details for everything) she's in possession of limited bolts of stretchy, almost-like-magic-but-made-with-science Kevlar-like fabric, various 'mad scientist-like' gadgets and a smart talking black cat who was unethically scientifically bred that way. The cat she kept after escaping the scary not quite self-destructing lair of the crazy people who'd kidnapped her when she was 9 after three months in their 'care', and found the former two at the site of said destroyed secret lair that she found again, by chance, in her grief of losing her childhood friend turned crush and his family to a crash on his returning-from-overseas plane turned hostage situation and promptly squirreled them away after deciding it was fate she found it all and formed the inklings of a goal/plan at 14. It's when she's in her mid-20's that she feels ready for her goal/plan to come into fruition. The Masked Sailor Suited Vigilante Sailor Moon makes her debut when the Osa-P jewellery store undergoes a robbery that turns into a hostage situation.

Thing is, said childhood friend turned crush hadn't died from the plane crash. He was the only survivor but suffered amnesia, losing everything from before he woke up. The redhead who'd become infatuated (IYKYK) with him as he recovered in the infirmary of her mother Metallia's off-the-grid community cult gave him his 'life's story' as her abandoned-as-a-baby orphan lover Endymion, who was a year older (17) than he actually was (16), and that he was apprenticed to the cult's (not that she called it that) medical doctor co-leader and 'psychiatrist' Wiseman. Because he doesn't know any better, and wanting some form of stability after his traumatic experience, he doesn't question anything. It's when he's in his late 20's, unofficially married with a 4yo redheaded, blue-eyed daughter (who's named Usagi since he was partial to the name; it resonates with him for some reason) from said 'wife', and casing a certain jewellery store in the shadows as TK as one of his 'jobs' to help bring money to his community that he sees the princess-angel he's been dreaming of since he was '17'.

One by one, new 'Senshi' join Moon for various reasons but are united by a common cause under their leader. Venus is first because the police woman Minako Aino discovered SM's identity through her own smart, talking white cat (of a non-related, older litter of the same experiments, and thus further developed in turn, that created Luna and the reason Usa was able to escape her kidnappers as a child, though she didn't know that at the time) who'd followed SM and reported back to her but didn't want to turn her in because she admires SM's efforts and wants to help so is willing to risk her career by proposing that they be one another's body double as and when needed at night and have separate patrol routes as their separate identities (M and V) when not.

It is through time (roughly two-three years) and various shenanigans and dangerous situations that SM and TK get closer, eventually stopping their game of flirty cat-and-mouse and actually bonding and getting to know one another. It is only after another life-or-death situation (TK would've frickin' died that time if not for Moon having followed him to his safe-house) that the tension between the two hits a peak after he's halfway through his convalescence and they sleep together and the next morning, after a restless night of tossing and turning as his true memories came back to him every time he awoke before his still-need-healing-exhaustion sent him to sleep again, is when TK reveals a name he'd wanted to use for the girl he'd wanted to ask to be his after he returned from that fateful trip.

Do you like? I would love if someone were able to take my idea and run with it. All I ask is that credit is given due and you let me know the title and site you've posted on so that I may read it. And as said, if you need details of what I've thought up for such an AU, if only for your own inspiration, I'm willing to send my notes to you; so long as you know that if others also ask I'm gonna give it to them too, just to see how different people would make this idea their own.

And if, in the end, I'm late to someone (or more than one) already having made some form of Batman style!SM AU, then please, please, please hit me up and tell me what it's called and where I can find it!! Thank you.

[fangsandsoftgrass]

🐾 gotta know all about Cirwedh's pets :D

OMG YESS

Okay, so I'll link this post as a general visual for all her buddies. Most of her animal friends are either ones she made while traveling bc they just liked her vibes and tagged along, or she rehabilitated them. They don't follow her around but instead live in and around her home in Malabal Tor :3

so we already know Gladriel is kinda like her sister since her mom (Mother Bear) took Cirwedh in after she ran away, but she's also her absolute best friend. She was pretty much Cirwedh's FIRST friend. When she was living with her parents, she stayed inside their home or at the village shrine to Y'ffre. She didn't really get to play with other children because of her unstable emotions (girlie was literally a kid name one kid that doesn't struggle with their emotions LOL) so her parents kept her kinda isolated already. Her first-ever friend was a bear :3

Dagger is her squirrel; he's always with her and Glad, either literally in Cirwedh's hair or in the trees; he's her second animal companion. She pulled him out of a river when he was a wee baby squirrel, and she couldn't find any nests in the trees nearby, so she just took him in and raised him. He's her baby :3 She will also literally throw him at people as a distraction because he goes fucking WILD. It's awesome. He loves it.

Bramble is an albino fruit bat that she carries in her pack or pocket during the day and flies around like a scout in the air while she travels on the ground with everyone else. Cirwedh met her in Eastern Skyrim during her time in the Pact. It's funny bc when she was in the P act, she was under the guise of a Nord, and as such, she had to at least pretend she followed their diet. So she would always leave any fruit given to her while in Windhelm out on the windowsill of the place she was staying, and Bramble would come every night and eat it :3 She just went with Cir when she left Windhelm and has been w her since bc she likes the travel and is also trained to be recon

And finally (of the ones she travels with) is RootGrabber, a Groundhog that she was given as a baby in Grahtwood and raised. He was found by a local and apparently had been orphaned by some nasty stoats. He tags along wherever she goes and forages along their travels :> he is instrumental in terms of alchemy because he will sometimes bring her herbs, and she can accept them bc he's an animal and is exempt from the Green Pact.