#originally i wanted to do david since it felt more in character of him

[matthew-neo]

based on that one Scott pilgrim image I saw, I thought it was funny.

[marcusnotbrutus]

Comments on Falsettos recording describing people's experience with pre-revival casts & being gay in the 80's and 90's

for @holdwinetosky

“I lived in Manhattan in 1981, met my husband that year.  We lived through the AIDS drama of real life on the Upper West Side. This show speaks to me on So many different levels.

Saw this production  on Broadway shortly after it opened. Crazy, Intense, Wonderful .

Just like it was in 1990 as Falsettoland at the Lucille Lortel, and when it first moved to Broadway as Falsettos in 1992. Saw the original casts of each, and each production multiple times (1 time with Mandy Patinkin as Marvin), saw the road companies that came to Philadelphia........etc...lol

Freakin Love this Show."

@ rugby8-Philadelphia 

“Saw a traveling company which came through Phoenix, AZ. I left Manhattan in '81 as numerous friends were getting ill and shortly thereafter died.  This show made me laugh out loud AND cry out loud!”

David Helmstetter (@ davidhelmstetter6661)

“Thank you. You signed my program when I was a kid. I waited by the stage door. My Mom didn't want to see the show at the time. She turned into the most accepting woman and this musical changed my life. xo”

@ castChicagoactors

“An absolute perfect moment in theater... this opened in nyc in 1990!!!!! We all had just lost lovers and friends and it was still raging without any meds.  Vowing to "buy the farm arm in arm" was and still is the most moving loving words to hear so beautifully sung”

Jeff Schecter (@ jeffschecter4543)

“I saw Falsettoland at the Theatre De Lys in the Village shortly after my brother Marty died of AIDS, and I have never cried so hard in my life as during "What More Can I Say" and "Unlikely Lovers."  I cried so hard that in part of my brain I thought someone might escort me out of the theatre, but there was nothing I could do about it, Michael Rupert you gave voice to everything I felt and there was no stopping it.  Thank you thank you thank you.  Of course saw the short multiple times on Broadway and afterwards in various productions and I will just never forget this song and that moment until every brain cell I've got has given up and every memory is erased because this is the such an honest statement of what love is all about.  To all of you in the show and William Finn I am forever grateful.”

David Fleischer (@ davidfleischer455)

“Thanks for posting, Michael.  Today, after 29 years together, my husband and I are legally married in our state of Georgia.”

@ theBestArts

“I have seen many Broadway musicals in my day. Over one hundred original and first run shows since 1980. I can honestly say without heistation that Falsettos in 1992 is the best musical I have ever seen in NY. The ensemble cast, simple set, lyrics, and use of character to tell a story is a perfect example of theatre art. Every theater lover should have seen this one, it is a masterpiece. Chip Zien and Barbara Walsh shine in every performance they give.”

@ muscled57

“I saw March of the Falsettos in 1980 and marvelled at it's musical brilliance and ended up seeing it half a dozen times. Then I saw Falsettoland a decade later which devastated me with it's sensitivity and humanity. Years later I saw a regional production of Falsettos which is the combination of the two shows and was enchanted and remain grateful to Mr Finn for writing such a masterpiece of musical theatre that I could see again and again.”

@ donovan3535

“I was fortunate enough to be reach up and touch Mr. Patinkin at the Golden Theatre in February, 1993, during his run with this amazing show. Those who don't think he made a good Marvin: I have to disagree with you completely. The man is one of the best American talents alive today and gave an amazing performance, in my opinion.”

@ dyabolykyll

“I can't believe I've never seen this before. I've sobbed all the way through the second act. Such strong memories of my dear friend Sammy, who died in 1993. The last time I visited him with my kids, he asked if he could change my daughter's diaper, and afterwards he cried because I wasn't afraid.

 It hits so hard for those of us who were young adults when AIDS came on the scene. People were afraid to be in the same room with someone who had it, much less to touch them. It made hand holding and hugs mean so much more."

@ VeracityLH

[lokischocolatefountain]

setting boundaries fanatic here ! i would love to see peñas wife (when she’s not the wife yet) with the guy you mentioned she was at the restaurant with. for a while since we know she is mrs. peña ;) it would make so much sense knowing she tried dating another guy, fucking, going out with him, but he isn’t her future husband

Comparison

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Past Javier Peña x Reader, Reader x Original Male Character (David)

Summary: She set boundaries with Javi. It was the right thing to do, but sometimes she wishes she hadn’t done it at all.

A/N: Anon, you have awakened something in me (longing). So here’s a little Drabble of Peña’s ex-fuckbuddy, future wife with another guy. The guy’s alright. But he’s no Javier Peña.

She whimpered and threw her head back as the orgasm that built up brought her crumbling down from her high. She bit down on her lip, afraid to make noise. It wasn’t much of a problem. Not anymore. Her neighbors must be happy now.

She turned to look at her bedroom door, making sure he hadn’t come out. She removed her hand from her pants, her flingers glistening from her release under the low light in the living room.

She pictured Javi, her cum coating his long thick fingers. The way he would smile smugly at her from between her legs before licking her off his fingers. How he would undo his belt only after he’d undone her under his fingers or lips at least once. Her pussy clenched around nothing at the mere thought of him. Fucking pathetic. If only her pussy could feel that way for David.

Forget feeling things when a guy wasn’t even around. She wished she felt something when he was deep inside her. David wasn’t bad per se… But she’d had better. She’d had Javi. She wondered if she would be satisfied with David if she’d never let Javi in her bedroom.

There was no point thinking of that now.

Javi was long gone. Scared off by what he surely perceived as commitment. Perhaps she should’ve gone along with him, let him play fuckbuddy and boyfriend for as long as he wanted instead of forcing him to decide. But it was for her own good. It was stupid to keep spreading her legs for a man who didn’t know what he wanted. Stupid to let him pull her into his web of uncertainty, make her doubt what she wanted with him.

She gulped down her glass of water and set it on the coffee table before walking back to her bedroom. David was fast asleep, blissfully unaware that his partner had to go fuck herself in the living room though he’d made her come. And he was the kind of guy who asked after if she really came. Javi never had to check. When he made her come, he knew. Fuck, her neighbors knew. When she was at work the next day, her friends knew from her gait.

Comparison was an useless endeavor. It brought nothing but the dull ache in her chest of missing a man who was never hers. She opened the last drawer of the chest by her bedside. It was devoid of everything but the plastic ashtray she bought for him to use in her apartment. She hadn’t put much thought into it. Didn’t try to pick one that fit well into her decor. Like the man who put his cigarettes out in it, the ashtray didn’t belong in her life. Just something temporary, unhealthy. She shut the drawer and slipped back under the covers.

She pulled the blanket over herself and forced herself to wrap herself in his arms. In his sleep, he pulled her close. Her body stiffened, rejecting the unfamiliar touch. But it would have to do for now. Until she got him out of her system.

.

.

.

I love me some longing, so thanks for this idea, anon. And that’s got me thinking…what if there was more longing for Javi and his wife? Maybe years into the future, and with a lot more heartbreak and naturally a lot more longing? And what if I have 3k words of it in my google docs? 👀 Until that’s out, I have a politician Javi fic coming up. Here’s a little teaser for it

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[junocandraw]

What are some of your takes on any of The Morgue Files characters? :>

EEEEEK! WHAT A QUESTION!!! :D

Okay. So. This is going to be long because im VERY opinionated on the audio drama. I watched them probably a million times while i was working on a wall mural in my parent’s bathroom.

JEFF

Don’t get me wrong. Emo edgelord mcr stan sigma boy Jeff is GREAT. Its a CLASSIC. BUT. Its overdone. Its exhausting to see the same cycle of kid moves to a new town, kid gets bullied, kid goes crazy BECAUSE he gets bullied, in every single Jeff story.

David’s is unique in that Jeff was just BORN THAT WAY. he was born sick. he was like that the day he popped out of the womb. i also like how he leaves slenderman’s impact on him so vague. when you listen to the pinehearst sessions, jeff doesn’t call anyone out by name, he just uses super vague pronouns to describe the collective. “I’ve seen them.” “I know what they’re planning.” etc. etc.

not to mention the bloody parts? oh. perfection. he wanted to “wear” Christy? 10/10. my timbers were shivered. I can vividly remember the first time I listened to the video and I was just…jaw dropped. Its insane that you can understand everything thats going on gore-wise just by audio.

In short? David’s take was REFRESHING. It was new. It broke that cycle. It even influenced some aspects of the rewrite i did. (shameless plug there ;D)

TOBY

One thing that is glaringly obvious with this one is that the mental-illness portion was portrayed SO MUCH BETTER than the original. Toby was so much more believable in his struggles. I really felt sorry for the guy. You put it best when you said “he was just dealt a bad hand in life.”

Also, the brainwashing portion at the bitter end with slenderman was just great. it was amazing. AND THE LYRA PLOT TWIST???? DONT. GET. ME. STARTED. I WAS SHOOKETH. i wont spoil for all you peoples who haven’t listened to it but its CRAZY.

This one is my second favorite. Its great. Its scary. I loved it.

JACK

Honestly? INCREDIBLY underrated. THIS one is probably tied in first with Jeff. I can’t pick between them because Jeff just holds a special, nostalgic place in my heart, but this one. Ooh. This one.

Jack was the least of my concerns with this one. I’m talking about detective kent and poor sergeant norris. when the you-know-what happened with all of the proxies, my stomach was flipped. I forgot that it was even allowed to happen in this genre. in Hollywood, someone would have swooped in last minute and saved them, but that didn’t happen here. It just goes to show you how twisted david is willing to get.

we also get a lot of tim and brian in this episode!! i love them. i made a post about creepypasta and marble hornet crossovers, and this is a perfect example of a one thats done well. he didn’t make tim a measly little twink, or brian a shy wallflower, but he instead made his own, creative take on both characters. And its great. its all great.

i would dish my opinion on the sally one, but its been a hot minute since i watched it lol. ive watched all of these in the last month or two. I remember the one guy named like…aiden? or something? he disturbed me. i dont remember much else lol.

ONE MORE THING!! Im not sure if hes allowed to do this, but I think a HABIT cameo in one would be SICK. with HABIT’s gorey methods of murder and david’s twisted writing, that could be something AWESOME. maybe im just a die hard emh fan tho…idk…

anyways thank you for listening to my insane ramblings and GO WATCH THE MORGUE FILES IF YOU HAVEN’T EVEN IF YOU DONT LIKE CREEPYPASTA THEY’RE GREAT!! :D

[punchdrunkdoc]

Part 4, Chapter 6

Summary: After the events of S3, Matt Murdock is trying to once again balance life as a lawyer and a vigilante. But he’s been scarred by loss and betrayal - will a mysterious new neighbour help him heal? Or will her secrets drag him back into the darkness? Notes: This is a slow burn romance with an original female character, told in 4 parts. There is mystery, intrigue, action/violence and angst - all the good stuff!

Also available on AO3 and Wattpad

Masterlist

Reference pics

————–

PART 4

Chapter 6

Matt slammed through the back door into Karen’s kitchen. “Explain,” he gritted out.

“Hey!” Karen chided him, her voice a harsh whisper. “I get that you’re upset, but keep your voice down! I don’t want Izzy coming down here, and seeing you all angry and covered in blood.”

Matt put his hand to his side, and felt the patch of wet blood staining his shirt. “Fuck.”

“I’d also prefer that she not to learn to swear until she’s at least 4. Now sit down while I clean you up.”

Matt shrugged out of his shirt while Karen gathered supplies. She sucked in a breath when she saw the knife wound and all the bruises marring his skin. “You’ve been overdoing it.”

“And you’ve been lying to me.”

“I never lied.”

“You told me you didn’t know where she was!”

“And I didn’t! I didn’t know she’d show up tonight out of the blue.”

“You should have called me, as soon as she arrived, or texted. Fucking sent out a homing pigeon if you needed to! I would have gotten here sooner and-”

“She didn’t want to see you, Matt! I tried to convince her to stay, but as soon as you knocked on the door, she bolted.”

Matt launched himself out of the chair, almost dislodging the new bandage that Karen had applied. He started pacing the small space, rubbing his hands over his face. “I don’t understand! I’m going out of my mind here, Karen. I need to see her. I need to talk to her.”

“I know,” Karen said sadly. “And I’m sorry. I tried, I really did. I begged her to call you, but she’s not ready. And I have to respect her wishes, Matt. I’ve been her friend longer than I’ve been yours.”

That stopped him in his tracks. The automatic denial caught in his throat: But you only just met her.

But that wasn’t the truth. She’d met Calina six years ago.

And they’d had a five-year-long friendship that he knew nothing about.

For the millionth time since being dropped back into this world, he wondered what had happened in those missing years.

———

July 2018

2 months since The Vanishing

Her eyes had changed.

That’s what struck Karen the most. Yes, she was thinner. Paler. Her hair was missing its usual lustrous shine and her lips were dry and cracked. But it was Calina’s eyes that had changed the most.

She used to look at the world with such wonder. An almost naive joy used to light up those big hazel eyes, until - as cliched as it seemed - they sparkled. It drew you in, that gleam. That glimmer of vitality. More than her beautiful face and her long legs, Karen always suspected it was Calina’s eyes that drew men to her like a magnet.

But that spark was gone now. And instead of with wonder and joy, Calina now looked at the world like it had broken her.

“How have you been?” Karen asked.

Calina shrugged, a small flicker of one shoulder.

Karen nodded in response. It was an asinine question, she knew that. No one was doing well these days. But people persisted in asking it of each other…and she didn’t know what else to say to the woman walking beside her.

What could you say to someone who had lost so much?

Karen had been one of the luckier ones - relatively speaking - when Thanos had reaped his chaos upon the world. She’d lost her two best friends, but she still had David. She still had that love in her life, to hold her close at night and give her some hope for the future.

Calina had lost half of her sisters - the Widows she regarded as family - and she’d lost Matt.

Karen had witnessed first-hand the bond between the two of them. When Matt and Calina were in the same room together the air almost crackled, as if reacting to the force of their connection. When Calina looked at Matt, when he tilted his head in her direction, when their hands touched and they communicated with each other in that silent, mystifying way that used to drive Karen and Foggy a bit nuts…their love was palpable.

Karen had experienced a twinge of jealousy at the start, she could admit to that. A by-product of a few lingering, less-than-platonic feelings for Matt - remnants of her short-lived and ill-advised relationship with him. But those feelings quickly faded when she saw how happy he was with Calina. How different he was with her. How much more open and hopeful and centred he was.

He deserved that. And, based on what Karen knew about Calina’s past, she deserved it too. The two of them had deserved their shot at being happy. At growing old together.

And it had been ripped away from them.

Now Matt was gone, and it seemed like he’d taken half of Calina with him. She was like a faded photograph, blurry around the edges. Desaturated and lifeless. And Karen was almost certain that she was still alive right now for only two reasons: the faint hope that Matt - and the rest of the Vanished - would somehow return…and because there was no one else to look after the puppy prancing ahead of them.

Calina tugged on the leash, trying to make the little dog heal instead of strain against the harness. “Nika, don’t pull,” she said.

The dog’s comically large ears twitched at the sound of her name but she ignored the command and continued her attempts to race down the sidewalk.

“Puppy training is coming along well, then,” Karen commented.

Calina rolled her eyes. “She’s as wilful and stubborn as her owner.”

It was clear to Karen that Nika had only one owner - and it wasn’t Yelena, the Widow who had disappeared a few days after adopting her. She’d been with Calina ever since the Vanishing, and had fully bonded with her. She gazed at Calina with adoration, and followed her around Matt’s apartment like a little shadow.

Karen was sorry that Calina had lost the two Widows who had come to visit her that fateful day - they’d disappeared right in front of her apparently, which must have been horrifying - but she couldn’t help but be grateful that the puppy had been left behind in Calina’s care. Walking the dog was probably the only time Calina left the apartment.

Not that the world beyond her four walls offered much to enjoy these days. The aftermath of the riots was still on full display, with damaged storefronts boarded up and the husks of torched cars still littering the roads. The police tape around fire-bombed buildings fluttered in the breeze, creating a rustling chorus with the missing person posters covering each and every tree trunk and street lamp. They passed a couple of soldiers guarding the intersection, their camouflage fatigues and assault rifles still as incongruous against the backdrop of high rise buildings as the first day the National Guard had rolled into the city.

“I heard POTUS was planning to revoke Martial Law soon,” Karen said, searching for a conversation starter.

“That’s good,” Calina replied. “There’s not much point in it now.”

It was true. The anger and frustration from those first few days after Thanos’ snap had dissipated fairly quickly once word came out of Wakanda. Those emotions had stemmed from the unknown - and the from the sense that the government was covering up the cause of the Vanishing. Now that everyone knew the truth, that anger had morphed to grief.

So much grief.

The world was saturated in it. Everywhere you turned, people were mourning. The air felt thick with sorrow.

And there was no distraction from it.

No dinners at the latest trendy restaurant. No ball games. No movies showing at the theatre. No trips to the salon. No beers at Josie’s…

The essential services were still running - barely, and not without some major crises in the beginning - but most people had just stopped going to work. Restaurants and bars and a myriad of other businesses had closed. Everything that had once brought a little joy and relief to people now felt so empty and frivolous.

Pointless.

Karen shivered and pulled her light jacket tighter around her. It was July now, but the days were still chilly - as if the blanket of grief over the world had smothered out the sunshine.

Or as if mother nature herself sensed that the world wasn’t in the mood for bright summer days.

“Do you want to come up for some coffee?” Calina asked, as they completed their circuit around the block and approached her building again. “To help you warm up?”

The offer took Karen by surprise. Every time she’d visited Calina, the other woman had always found an excuse to cut their little social outings short. “I’d like that.”

As Calina prepared the coffee, Karen played tug-of-war with Nika. The puppy growled as she yanked on the end of the toy rope, her fluffy little tail wagging with happiness. “Ooh, so fierce,” Karen laughed. The sound was rusty in her throat, and she realised it was probably the first moment of actual joy she’d felt since the Vanishing.

The game ended when Calina brought over the drinks. Karen accepted her mug and took a seat on the couch. Which gave her a view through to the bedroom, and the suitcase open on the bed. “Are you going somewhere?”

Calina sighed, taking a seat next to her. “Maybe. I don’t know.” She took a sip of her drink and absent-mindedly stroked her hand over Nika’s head. “Natasha called me. Natasha Romanov. She’s-”

“The Black Widow. The one in the Avengers, I mean.”

“Yeah. She’s been in touch with the rest of the Widows - the one’s who are left anyway. She’s asked us all to come upstate and…help out, I guess.”

“Help out?”

“She’s working with governments around the world, trying to co-ordinate relief efforts and prevent any further catastrophes.”

“Like Iran,” Karen guessed. It had been one of the first - and most severe - casualties of Thanos’ plan. The nuclear power plant in Bushehr had lost more than half of it’s crew at the moment of the snap. A few days later, when one of the cooling systems failed, there hadn't been enough experienced personnel on site to prevent the ensuing explosion. Thousands in the surrounding area had died, and the fallout had spread across much of the middle east.

Calina nodded. “Like Iran. But also like Bogota - the Cartel essentially runs the government there now. There are hangings in the streets, and hit squads at the borders preventing people from leaving. The world is a mess. And Natasha needs all the help she can get, especially since most of the Avengers disappeared. I just…I don’t know…”

“What?”

Calina took a shaky breath. “I sometimes struggle to just get up in the morning and feed Nika. I don’t know if I’m the right person to stop the world from imploding.”

“There is no right person. Well, apart from Steve Rogers maybe.”

Calina smiled sadly. “I’m no Captain America.”

“That’s my point - no one is. So all that the rest of us can do is try our best. Just...do what we can.”

“Matt wouldn’t have even hesitated. He’d be out there right now, helping whoever he could.”

Karen gave a sad smile of her own. “Probably.”

The two of them sat there for a few moments in silence, as if both imagining how Daredevil would have responded to this ongoing tragedy.

“I miss him so much,” Calina whispered, wiping a tear from her eye. “I keep expecting him to walk in the door any moment. To hear his footsteps in the hall, and his voice as he calls out to me…” Her voice broke. The single tear was joined by another, and another, as she quietly started to cry. 

“Oh, Calina,” Karen scooted over to wrap one arm around the grieving woman. “I’m so sorry.”

Nika whined on the other side of the couch, responding to Calina’s distress. Hearing the plaintive sound, Calina buried her hand in the puppy’s fur, even as she continued to weep. “I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do,” Calina said in a tear-soaked voice, sounding lost and alone. 

“None of us do. It’s only been a couple of months since it happened, and we’re all stuck in a kind of limbo. We don’t know if this is our new normal, or if the Avengers will somehow fix all this-”

Calina shook her head.

Karen sat back, eyeing the other woman. That wordless denial had seemed very…definite. “You know something, don’t you?”

Calina sniffed, scrubbing the tears from her face. Then nodded. “Thanos is dead.”

“What?”

“Natasha told me. The Avengers went after him already. They tried to undo it, but it was too late. We’re not in limbo, Karen. This is our reality now, and nothing is going to fix it.”

Karen could feel the blood drain from her face. “Wh-why haven’t we heard about this?”

“The world is too fragile right now. If people lost that last iota of hope that they’re clinging to…”

“It would be a disaster. The riots, the suicides…”

Calina nodded. “It would all happen again. Probably worse this time.”

Not probably. It would definitely be worse. Even Karen could feel despair start to creep in at the thought that there was no going back to the way things were. That all those people who were lost…were gone forever.

She hadn’t realised just how much she’d been praying it was all some big, cosmic mistake…

…and that someone, somehow, would fix it.

———

Calina closed the door behind Karen and rested her forehead against the cool wood. It was nice that Karen cared enough to visit, but pretending to be even marginally okay for the past couple of hours had completely drained her.

She padded slowly back into the living room and collapsed onto the couch. Nika jumped up beside her and circled around a couple of times before flopping onto her belly. Her head came to rest on Calina’s thigh and she let out a sigh of contentment.

The puppy needed so little to be happy. A bowl of food, a few toys and Calina’s attention, and she was content. But she deserved better. She deserved someone who would play with her for hours. Who would take her on hikes and socialise her with other dogs…

“I’m sorry you got stuck with me,” Calina whispered, playing with her soft, fluffy ears. “And I’m sorry this is the world you live in, Nika.”

It was the ultimate irony that Yelena had chosen that name. At the time, it must have felt fitting, naming her dog after Nike, the Goddess of Victory. It must have felt like a metaphorical two fingers up to the Red Room. A symbol of the new life she was embarking on. The new world she was entering. 

But Yelena had only had Nika a few days before that new life ended. Victory turned to ashes. And the exciting new world turned to one permeated by misery and grief.

Calina didn’t want to live in this world. She didn’t want to live in any world without Matt. And for a few brief moments - after Natasha had ripped away the hope that he might return - she’d considered removing herself from this world. The thought of not feeling this way anymore - this aching, endless nothing inside her - had been so, so tempting…

But two things had stopped her. The puppy who depended on her…and the knowledge that Matt would never take the easy way out. He would always keep going, no matter what. And not just because suicide was a sin in his religion, but because it was who he was.

And she didn’t ever want to disappoint him. Not even in death.

So she kept going.

She dragged herself out of bed every morning, even though it felt like her bones were made of lead. She fed Nika, and shoved food down her own throat, even though it all tasted like dust. She walked the dog, forcing one foot in front of the other. Even the act of breathing sometimes felt like a struggle…but she kept going.

Because Matt would want her to.

But would he want her to fight? To suit up again as a Widow and wade into the fray?

No, that wasn’t a fair question. He would never prevent her from fighting, if that’s what she wanted to do. He’d be concerned for her safety, of course. Hell, he’d probably try to come along as back up. But he’d never stop her.

The real question was one she had to ask of herself: Did she want to help save this world? This grey and lifeless, miserable world? Did she want to play a part in shaping it into something better?

Or did she just want to hide away in this apartment, and slowly collapse under the weight of her own grief?

She glanced around the apartment. Matt’s sweatshirt was still draped over the arm of the chair opposite. His coffee cup still sat by the kitchen sink. His alarm clock on the bedside table still chimed every morning…

She could still feel him in this space, his memory like a tangible stirring in the air.

But he was never coming back.

He’d never zip that sweatshirt up again. He’d never make himself another cup of coffee. He’d never wake beside her in bed ever again.

Calina’s breath hitched as the gut-wrenching finality of his loss hit her all over again.

For the thousandth time.

It came in waves, this grief. Constantly there, and deep as the ocean, but swelling at unexpected moments. Drowning her in sorrow again and again.

She bit her lip, trying to stem the flow of tears, surprised that she had any left to shed after her breakdown with Karen early. And in that moment she realised what she needed to do.

She needed to leave.

Even if it wasn’t to go save the world, she had to leave New York. This apartment - and the city around her - held too many memories. Matt’s presence was everywhere, teasing her with the impossible possibility: that he would somehow come back and resume his life with her.

But he was never coming back.

And she was just torturing herself by staying here.

————–

Chapter 7 is coming soon...

Tag list: @hollandorks @stilldreaming666 @sio-ina-bottle @tearoseart-blog @acharliecoxedfan @freckledbabyyy @chezagnes

If you’d like to be added - let me know!

[ingravinoveritas]

The fact that in that scene in the doctor who special Donna’s about to go off with the doctor in the end and her husband is like yeah most husbands would be jealous of their wife hanging out with men in a small space alone but then he looks at the doctor and is like nah not him. Like he knows the doctor wouldn’t be interested in Donna in that way and that she was completely safe from cheating on her husband. Shaun took one look at the doctor and was like I know what you are . He was NOT worried about Donna being alone with him

So, I did watch the 60th special today, which I originally wasn't planning to do, since I'm not much of a Whovian. But curiosity got the better of me, and once your ask came in, I figured why not give it a watch.

After sitting through the whole episode, I still have no idea what the hell actually happened, or what a Metacrisis is, or why they were all fighting evil anthropomorphized dryer lint...but I was still thoroughly entertained. Haha. And there were moments I liked (disability rep with Shirley Bingham whose character actually wasn't about her disability but just her as a badass person!), moments I didn't like, and moments that made me unexpectedly emotional (the mention of Wilf, which given Bernard's passing last year was incredibly poignant and left me in tears).

But what I was really living for with this episode was how unbelievably and incredibly gay it was, in absolutely the most phenomenal way possible. Again, I want to emphasize that I am a very casual DW viewer, so I can't speak to previous seasons or incarnations, but this certainly felt like the queerest Doctor Who ep I have ever seen. The awesome Yasmin Finney as Rose. Describing the Doctor as "male...and female...and neither...and more." Having legend and lesbian extraordinaire Miriam fucking Margolyes as the voice of the Meep.

And of course, the moment you mentioned...

What's really interesting to me about this is so much of the writing in this episode was pretty on the nose (thinking in particular of the scene about the Meep's pronouns, which was very well meaning but felt a bit heavy-handed in both the writing and some of the delivery). But I wouldn't say Russell T. Daddy was really going for nuance in a lot of what ended up on screen, which is why this moment stands out and is so interesting and hilarious. You can almost feel Russell abruptly stop short of saying what this is clearly meant to be saying, and leaving it as subtext instead of, well...text. And I've mentioned on my blog previously about seeing the Doctor and Donna's (as well as David and Catherine's) chemistry as very "exasperated straight woman and her chaotic bisexual BFF," so this really seemed to validate the hell out of that. Haha.

So yes, overall, I enjoyed "The Star Beast" much more than I ever expected to, and I'm definitely intrigued to see what the other specials will entail (especially "The Giggle," since NPH is in that one, and the queer quotient will no doubt be off the charts, at least if the production stills/BTS I remember seeing last year are any indication). It will certainly be interesting to see if we get more moments like the one above with Fourteen (Ten? Ten-Four?), so I suppose we'll find out soon...

[consanguinitatum]

Hiya!

I've been keeping up to date with your substack for a while (I absolutely love seeing your posts!) and I know you do lots of research on David Tennant's early career in Scotland, so I think you're the best person to help a problem I'm having. But this is a bit of a story, so bear with me. After seeing Takin' Over the Asylum, I've become obsessed with Donna Franceschild's writing and I've been wanting to see more of her work (I've been somewhat successful). It just so happens that at the same time I have an acting exam coming up and I have to find material to perform. I then find out about Donna Franceschild's play "And The Cow Jumped Over The Moon". It's a play about about the experiences of a women's ward in a Glaswegian hospital (basically TOTA but more feminist!) and also found out it had a TV adaptation! (which would be helpful for me, since it would give more material to base my acting on, and therefore I would find my exam easier.) I'd completely love to see that play and be able to perform it! But here's where we get to my dilemma. I have not been able to find this play anywhere. I have scoured the internet and have only found references saying that it exists - not any archive of the script or videos of the play itself. The TV adaptation was done for The Play On One - which I know you resurfaced one of the episodes for - so that's one of the reasons why I'm asking you if you have any clue what has happened to this play. I know it's somewhat out of your area of expertise since this doesn't involve David Tennant, but I do know that you've already done a lot of research on Donna Franceschild, Scottish theatre in the 80s/90s, and The Play On One! This is a bit of a reach asking you, but if you do know anything about this play, I'd love to hear about it! :D

First off, thank you for following my posts about David's early career on A Tennantcy To Act, and I'm really glad you find them worthwhile. I also appreciate it that you think I'm knowledgeable enough to help you out. I hope you don't mind that I put your question and my reply to this out in public, because I thought you might not be the only one interested in Donna Franceschild's And The Cow Jumped Over The Moon. When I spoke to David Blair, the director of Takin' Over The Asylum, he mentioned the play as a vital element in ToTA's eventual development. He said:

The BBC – not myself – then commissioned Donna to adapt a stage play she’d written called “And The Cow Jumped Over The Moon” to fit a play strand we were doing at the time.

On the day of the studio, the Producer overseeing the project was taken ill and they asked me to fill in for her ‘in the gallery’. (This was an old TV play where you worked in a rehearsal room for, say, three weeks then shot the whole thing – multi-camera – in a matter of days). Of course as a result, I became familiar with the material and was indeed taken by this minor character – Eddie – who was a hospital radio DJ.  After that, I asked Donna if she felt there might be mileage in creating a serial based around this character.

So for anyone who digs Takin' Over The Asylum, watching this play should be a must-do - since without it, we almost certainly wouldn't have had our Campbell, Eddie, Francine, and Fergus!

And The Cow Jumped Over The Moon was originally completed in 1989 and became a play which premiered at the Traverse Theatre in 1990. Donna wrote a playscript from it for the BBC which was broadcast on BBC One on 15 Aug 1991 as part of the last series of its 'The Play On One' series. The TV broadcast is archived at the British Film Institute on VHS, and here's a small article I've located about the plot and cast of the TV version:

I didn't find much mention of the character of Eddie in the TV version of the play, but I did find this about him from the stage play - and he doesn't seem like a pleasant fellow. Perhaps Franceschild created a different version of him for the short film, enough that Blair thought him worthy of his own drama?

I don't know.

But I soon will! Because as I come to the point of your post...which is do I know where to find And The Cow Jumped Over The Moon...the answer is a resounding yes! Because I haven't seen this, either (and I haven't looked for it for about a year, when I did all the research on it that I posted above.)

But I went looking again after I got your ask, and it turns out someone's done us a serious solid and has uploaded it to the Internet Archive!

So there you have it.

I know what I'm watching tonight - and @lemonycheesecakes, a huge thanks for asking!

PS: I just tried to access the video file on the Internet Archive and it says "This video file cannot be played". I'm seeing if I can download it, and hopefully I'll know soon. I'll update as soon as I know for sure!

PSS: I downloaded it via the "Torrent" link under the Download Options (I think you could also do the H264 IA download, too) and it worked - I can see it. So if you plan to access the file, that's the way to go! PPS: I think I might use this as a basis for my next post at A Tennantcy To Act...you made me wonder how many others don't know about how And The Cow Jumped Over The Moon inspired the creation of Takin' Over The Asylum. So I owe you even more thanks!

[doamarierose-honoka]

In 2010, Rayman was dead. After two popular minigame collections with his then-co-stars, the Rabbids, Rayman was usurped from his throne as Ubisoft’s mascot and relegated to cameo appearances in games like Academy of Champions: Soccer. Sam Fisher has suffered a similar fate recently.

Then, a miracle - Ubisoft released Rayman Origins, a gorgeous 2D platformer with excellent movement, incredible music, and enough charm to make you forget all about the limbless wonder getting kicked out of his own series. Not a Rabbid in sight.

Origins was an incredible new beginning for Rayman, but it was only the beginning. Two years later, Ubisoft Montpellier did it again with Rayman Legends. Not content to simply be an improvement on the first game, Legends was one of the best 2D platforming games of all time. It looked like things were only going to get better.

Unfortunately, despite massive critical success, Rayman faded into the background once more, with only a few minor mobile games since then. Now, his long decade of silence is finally over thanks to Ubisoft Milan who, ironically enough, have brought Rayman back in a game that stars the very creatures who originally kicked him out.

“I would say that I started thinking about the DLC as soon as I saw the work on Sparks of Hope going in the right direction,” Sparks of Hope’s creative director Davide Solani tells me. “I loved the idea of closing this fantastic journey of Sparks of Hope with Rayman, as Rabbids were originally introduced in a Rayman game. I felt it was the correct thing to do”.

Rayman in the Phantom Show marks Rayman’s first appearance in a game in some time, which gave Ubisoft Milan the opportunity to redesign the character for his reintroduction, which also marks the first time he’s been in 3D since his Super Smash Bros. Trophy model in 2014.

Solani tells me that extensive work went into designing Rayman’s new look for the game, with the idea being to aim for something “new, current, and fitting for our universe”. Specific effort went into Rayman’s facial expressions and the body and shoes, for which the team challenged themselves to “dare a little” by introducing pockets and a larger hood to give the limbless wonder more comfort and a sense of identity outside of adventuring.

Of course, one of the most important elements of Rayman’s design is his hair which, beyond the whole lack of limbs thing he’s got going on, is one of the key parts of the character’s identity. Rayman’s hair is used both to fly and to look fly, and it’s a core part of this look.

“[It’s] one of the most 'representative' parts of the character,” Solani says. “We wanted to avoid just an indistinct mass, but also not to go overboard with details. We therefore focused on creating this balance between volume and details. A fully animatable tuft that would help to underline the character's charisma and emotions.”

Rayman may have a new design this time around, but Sparks of Hope isn’t above referencing the hero’s past. The Phantom Show is stuffed with nods to Rayman’s history, including reworked versions of his combat fatigues from Hoodlum Havoc, a cutout of Globox and some plum juice from the same game, a cardboard recreation of the first level from the adventure that started it all, and even some shoutouts to the pirates from Rayman 2.

Another Easter Egg Solani points out is Rayman’s weapon in the game, which resembles the plunger gun that he used in Raving Rabbids. You’d think that Rayman would want to avoid memories of that particular encounter considering everything that happened after, but he’s rocking a brand-new one in the Phantom Show.

“I loved the idea of paying a tribute to the plunger, in a way,” Solani tells me. “With my team, we’ve imagined how a new plunger could look like years later, and how this new basic weapon could be transformed through the various costume transformations, and what special ability could result from each. It was a fun process for us.”

It’s not just Rayman himself who returns for the Phantom Show, as the DLC also sees the return of David Gasman, the voice of the limbless wonder for nearly all of the games in the series before Douglas Rand took over the role for Origins, Legends, and the mobile spin-offs.

“Like many players, for me, David Gasman is Rayman’s voice. Also, we did use David as Rabbid Mario in Sparks of Hope, and it was a tremendously fun experience working with him. The idea of having him going crazy to voice both Rayman and Rabbid Mario was too good to miss. “

One of the most interesting things about the DLC is that it’s not just a reunion between Rayman and the player, it’s a reunion between Rayman and the Rabbids as well. The limbless wonder hasn’t been on-screen with them properly since TV Party, with only a small cameo from the screaming nuisances in Rayman Adventures between then and now.

The DLC plays into this time gap, with Rayman holding a grudge against the Rabbids when he first runs into them. Solani says that this was one of the ideas that the team worked with and that they loved seeing Rayman and the Rabbids bickering, but that they start to work together across the expansion, as Rayman quickly gets over his grudges in the name of being a hero.

Rayman in the Phantom Show closes the door on Rayman’s past while being brutally honest about the hero’s long absence. It has fans wondering if the DLC opens another door for his future, one that many want Ubisoft Milan to be involved with.

“We don’t know yet what we’ll do in the future,” Solani says. “But I can assure you that working on Rayman was a true honour for all of us.”

[ithinkyouhealedmyheart]

National Boyfriend's Day

Characters: Kendall Knight, Gustavo Rocque mentioned, Veronica Clark oc, James Diamond, Mrs. Knight mentioned,

Pairings: Kendall Knight/Female Original Character(s), Kendall Knight/Veronica Clark

Word Count: 1988

Grammarly is my beta reader

The boys were graciously given the day off for some unknown reason, which was not wholly unknown. Gustavo claimed his throat hurt from all the yelling he had done the day before. But it didn't matter; they didn't have to sing or dance in the recording studio for a whole day.

Ronnie had been doodling a lot the past few days. She had heard about the botanical garden and wanted to go there more than anything, but she was stuck working with Gustavo and the boys. It wasn't like she hated working with them. They were rowdy and louder but had their quiet moments. Since Kelly gave her earplugs on her first day, she hasn't been without them. It was common for her to wear earplugs even if she lounged at the pool with the guys.

Her doodles mainly consisted of various types of flowers. She hadn't been sightseeing since arriving in L.A. a few months ago. Gustavo's been keeping her busy with the prospect of a new album, so it's been taking away from her time. For the time being, she sat in the living room of 3G. Her dad and Mrs. Knight got coffee earlier, leaving her alone in the apartment.

Living in Hollywood was a dream come true. She also heard her music play on the radio because Big Time Rush was a big hit. It was excellent writing music that would sell stadiums and make it onto CDs that teenagers would buy and listen to. But, being behind the scenes was the best of all. She wasn't a fan of all those big crowds or the flash of camera lights. Instead, the boys got to deal with all of that.

A knock was at her door, but she was too in the zone to notice. Music playing softly on the radio, Pink Floyd and David Bowie tapes that her father left in there from his spring cleaning.

"This is your first date. It has to be amazing," James whispered to Kendall. He only tagged along because Lucy wasn't at the pool, and he was bored.

"How many times do you think I should tell you? This isn't our first date, and quit trying to control it." Kendall knocked on the door again.

"I'm sorry, you have a bad track record of asking girls out and keeping them entertained. Shall I remind you of- "

"Don't. Say her name." Kendall sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Do we even know if Ronnie is inside? She could be with Camille,"

"Maybe she can't hear you? She always has those earplugs in." James shrugged. "Oh! Which means she can't hear us talking,"

"For the last time. You don't have to worry about the date I've planned."

"But you won't tell me about it," James pouted. "I want to make sure you take her to the right place and know-"

"You're not her brother. Or her dad." Kendall cut him off sharply. He pulled out his phone and texted her.

Shortly after, the door opened, revealing Ronnie with her faded blue hair dye. She'd meant to touch it up, but everything else had been distracting. She wasn't wearing her yellow sweatshirt. It had been swapped for a plain tank top.

"Sorry, did I keep you guys waiting? What happened?"

James waved and smiled brightly. He was a bit too giddy for her liking, and she wasn't sure if she would be happy about what Kendall had to say. It wasn't odd that they were standing outside her door, but something about it felt suspicious.

"So, uh, there's this new botanical garden that opened, and I was wondering- I was hoping that you wanted to come see it." Kendall was rarely all that nervous, but it was cute when he did trip over his words.

"Of course! But uh," Ronnie glanced down and smiled sheepishly. "Let me go change real quick."

"I think that's fine considering the heat wave-" Kendall elbowed James.

Ronnie left the door open and sauntered into her room, closing that door behind her. Kendall and James glanced at each other before stepping through the threshold. It wasn't that they'd never been in her apartment, but they hadn't been inside without her dad present. He was ex-military and scary. The last thing either of them wanted was for him to come home and assume Kendall and James were there for less-than-safe for work activities.

"Oh, hey, her notebook!" James's eyes sparkled as he made his way over to the beige couch. He didn't pick it up but leaned over to look at what she was doing.

"Does she have any new song ideas?" Kendall joined him, but he was too afraid to touch her notebook. It was one thing if Ronnie caught them looking at it, but an entirely different ordeal if they picked it up and started flipping through.

"I know it's scorching out, but I can't go anywhere without my hoodie. At least I have short-" Ronnie's bedroom door creaked when it opened, and the three stood still, staring at each other. Not only were Kendall and James caught red-handed, but they also froze like deer in headlights.

"What are you doing?" Ronnie narrowed her eyes.

"You left it open!" James whined, shuffling away and holding his hands up. "If you're going to hurt us, don't touch the face!"

"I'm not going to hit you. It's not like you would see the new song I'm working on anyway,"

"Are you sure you want to wear your hoodie?" Kendall asked. He was wearing cargo shorts and a T-shirt.

"I'll be fine." Ronnie shrugged. "Now, get out. I'm not leaving my apartment unlocked with three idiots all day. That's asking for something to get broken." She shooed the guys with her hands.

"Aw, but I wanted to see your dad's face when he gets back." James mocked.

"I bet he'll be happy to see you later." Ronnie rolled her eyes.

~~~

It was no surprise that Ronnie hated buses. She hated the crowds, the limited number of seats, and, most of all, the smell of L.A. passengers. A purse dog with dead eyes was staring straight at her, and she stared back, nearly crushing Kendall's hand. The bus was noisy because of the people on it and because it sounded like the moving vehicle would fall apart at any given chance.

Kendall was standing, holding onto the bar above his head. He moved to block the small purse dog from her sight and gently rang his thumb over her knuckles. He could tell from a mile away that she was getting overwhelmed. As much as she tried to hide it, she wasn't really good at it.

Ronnie didn't want it to seem like everything in this city was overwhelming, but when the only place she had been to was the Palm Woods, everything was overwhelming. But it wasn't for a lack of trying. She rested her head against the back of the uncomfortable plastic seat and closed her eyes. The bus ride would be shorter than it seemed. It was easy to get caught up in it all.

Originally, Kendall would have asked his mom to take them to the botanical gardens, but she was away, and he couldn't ask Gustavo or Kelly to drive them. A limo would attract suspicion, which would, in turn, alert a border of fangirls. It had been a hot minute since he last rode the bus; he was too used to having a driver, and now that he and his friends were famous. However, they would have taken the train if they had been in Northern California.

As soon as the bus finally stopped at their destination, Ronnie hopped out of her seat and whizzed past the bus driver. Her thanks were drowned out by her feet hitting the steps. Kendall followed after, thanking the bus driver more prominently. Even though the bus had yet to pull away, Ronnie couldn't contain her excitement. She jumped up and down, clapping her hands with a big smile. Kendall wasn't embarrassed to be seen with her. He was glad he could make her happy.

"We could never start a garden back in Vermont, which was a bummer because everything always looked so gray. Also, Scout would eat whatever flowers we planted, which was a hazard to his health. My dad doesn't have the best green thumb either-" Ronnie rambled while she led him by the hand, taking a big breath before launching into the second part of what she was saying.

"Easy, easy. Don't forget to breathe." Kendall chuckled. He would follow wherever she would go, even to the ends of the earth.

"Sorry, sorry. I swear, sometimes I need one of those cool devices that tells you when to drink water, but instead for when I need to breathe." Ronnie laughed and played with the drawstring of her hoodie with her free hand.

"If you got one of those, you would throw it against the wall."

"Well, yeah, but it would be useful for a little while."

Kendall showed the man at the door their tickets, and they each passed through a metal detector. Luckily, it didn't go off. When they were in the lobby, Ronnie froze. Her eyes went wide and sparkled. Her head swiveled, trying to take in every detail about the botanical gardens. Kendall was even taken aback by how pretty it was, too. 

There was greenery everywhere. It was the perfect place for Poison Ivy’s secret lair. There were halls divided up by seasons. Wordlessly, Ronnie took the blonde's hand and led him toward the Spring hall. When did she get so strong? He nearly tripped over himself, trying to follow after her. In a way, she was like a kid in a candy store. Wait, no, she was like Gustavo when she spent the night at 2J because Griffin took his mansion away. And her smile was infectious. He honestly didn’t mind getting pulled around. He hadn’t realized just how pretty nature was before now. When James suggested the botanical gardens, he shrugged it off but this place was ethereal. Although he would have preferred playing street hockey with his friends this wasn’t the worst way to spend his time. 

Did he mention how pretty Ronnie’s smile was? 

Kendall, pretty much, spent the day admiring Ronnie while she admired plants and talked about them. She wasn’t the most knowledgeable about them but she was passionate. Maybe this little adventure could even spark some inspiration? At least Kendall could only hope. He really just wanted to know what their next song was going to be about, because Gustavo wouldn’t tell them anything. But, he could ask her about it any other day. Ronnie didn’t stop holding his hand either, and he was on cloud nine. It was the cutests thing. She was the cutest thing. Now that he thought about it, he should take her on dates more often. She deserved it to be honest. 

Plants weren’t just pretty, but they played an important role in symbolism. Bouquets could be used to relay a hidden message, and different colors had different meanings across all genes. The only thing Kendall knew was that roses were used to symbolize love. It was why he always got roses for his mother on valentine's day, because he loved and cherished her more than anything. Ronnie prattled off about the symbolism of different roses and even different flowers. But, he was too busy paying attention to the sparkle in her eye to understand anything she was saying. At least he found out that she liked Lisianthus, whatever that was. 

And by the time they were ready to come home, Ronnie leaned her head on Kendall’s shoulders and her eyes fluttered shut. She had tired herself out. 

“Best, day, ever.” She mumbled sleepily. 

“Best date ever.” Kendall clarified with a small smile.

[brightlight-dazzlingeyes]

the french exit | chapter 03

kylian mbappé x original female character [+18]

synopsis: alice is a lonely rich girl whose biggest fear is to become a lonely rich woman. ever since they moved to paris, her fiancé doesn’t seem to be interested in her anymore. so alice decides to find comfort in the arms of another man. warnings: cheating; angst; smut; i have never been to france; minors dni.

previous chapter | masterlist | next chapter

Chapter 03 | Halley’s Comet

“I've been loved before, but right now in this moment

I feel more and more like I was made for you”

“It doesn't bother you at all?” Alice asks while playing with her engagement ring. They were laying in bed together, just staring at the ceiling for the last few minutes.

“No.” Kylian turns to face her and she follows his movements. “I'm not interested in having a relationship outside of this apartment. You give me everything I need just being here. I don't need more.” They’re facing each other, the light of the moon coming from the window is the only thing illuminating them.

“Except you do. You have other women. Women you travel with. Women you take to dinner” Her voice is low, almost a whisper.

“And I never promised exclusivity to any of them, did I?”

Alice is silent.

“What do you want from me? What do you want me to say?” Kylian looks genuinely confused and Alice feels like she knows him enough to read between the lines. It doesn't bother him because if she has someone to give her all the things he's not interested in giving, then maybe she wouldn't ask for them. That she should also feel satisfied.

“Nothing. You're not the problem, I am. I'm not happy cheating on David and I'm not happy being with him. I just don't know what to do.” She puffs. “Sorry to involve you in this.”

“I involved myself.” Suddenly his entire demeanor changes. He sits up on the bed, eyes never leaving her. “But of course you're not happy with him. How can you be happy with a man like that?” He starts touching the sides of her body, slowly removing the duvet cover she was hiding behind. 

“Look at how you go back to him.” Kylian exposes her naked body and uses his own body to open her legs, looking at her core. “Look what I did. Look at how red your cunt is. And he doesn't notice.” He pushes a finger inside of her. “I would notice.” And another. “If you were fucking another man before coming to me I would know.” Kylian spits on her cunt and continues to roughly finger her. “I never see signs of him on your body. He's not fucking you is he?”

“He is.” Alice sobs, already lost in pleasure. “Sometimes.”

“Not enough. Not like you deserve. Not the way I am.”

“No.” She shakes her head.

“Tell me I'm better.” Kylian practically barks.

“You know you are.” From her point of view Kylian never looked taller, hovering on top of her, already three fingers inside of her body. 

“I want to hear it from you.” He’s begging, in his own way.

“You're better.” Alice moans. “You're bigger.” Another sob as the French man continues to please her. “That's why I keep coming back.”

“Then you should be happy with me, baby. Let me make you happy.” He continued telling sweet nothing until she came. “Good girl.” He kisses her forehead and they cuddle. Her regret long forgotten, Alice fell asleep feeling safe and wanted in Kylian’s arms.

He wasn’t joking about decorating the apartment. She helped him choose artwork to fill the empty walls and a new couch. Soon enough the apartment had a complete new look; a mix of both of their personal styles. He gave her a key.

“I don't bring anybody else here.” He’s blushing when he says that. “So, I figured you should have a key.  In case you ever feel the need to come here while I’m not around.”

The implications of that hit Alice like a brick. It made things official in a way. That place was officially their love den. She felt like the witness, the accomplice and the offender of a love crime. It still felt better than feeling like a victim, which was the case in her real life, back in her real home with her real romantic partner. So she took the key. Whenever Kylian was at an away game or simply busy, and David was, for whatever reason, stressing her out – she would find refuge in the apartment. It quickly became her second home. There were traces of her everywhere: clothes, personal care items, accessories and groceries. When David traveled, she didn't even bother going to their house.

At work, everybody was excited about the upcoming event. Mr Lavigne was hosting his party at The Grand Jardin of the Ritz Hotel. In one particular conversation, Clara slips out an important piece of information.

“Well, you were also at the Ritz last week.” Clara raises her eyebrows as she says that, grinning at Alice.

“What do you mean?” Alice was confused by the suggestion, she has never been to that Hotel.

“Sorry, I just – I saw David there last week and just assumed.”

There’s an uncomfortable silence after that. They both come up with excuses to change the subject and they never speak out about it again. 

For the Lavigne Foundation charity event, Alice wore a Mirror Palais transparent silk black dress. The ‘Cascading Ruffle Gown’, was a request from Margot. The magazine was working towards promoting the brand and Margot claimed they wouldn’t find a better model for the dress. Even though Alice wasn’t used to wearing such riscké clothing, she fell in love with the gown and was so comfortable that when she wore it that evening it was like it was made for her. 

“Holy shit.” David had his mouth open, he couldn’t stop staring at his fiance. They were in their living room getting ready, and he looked handsome in an italian tailored blue suit. His hair was slicked back and standing together they looked like royalty.

“You look like the first woman to ever wear a dress. Looking at you, right now, I cannot think of any other woman in history that ever wore a dress before.” Margot was helping her get ready, overseeing hair and makeup, to make sure everything was perfect.

They had a driver take them to the Hotel, where they had pictures taken by photographers at the entrance. Hollywood actors and European models divided the attention of the press, but as soon as Alice stepped out of the car, everybody held their breath.

“I told you, you should be a model.” David whispers in her ear, managing to elevate her ego even more, somehow.

Not for a single minute, or a single second, Alice considered bumping into Kylian at the party. All of her confidence went down the drain when she saw him. They were bound to run into each other in public again, but living in denial was so much easier.

He looked like a superstar and behaved politely and humbly with every person who approached him, Alice almost laughed out loud. So different from the man she knew. The one who only appeared behind four walls. At the same time, she also felt like crying. He was a complete stranger to her, that was the truth. 

Even after all these sleepless nights and secret love texts, and exchanged keys and whispered promises. They weren’t really a part of each other’s life. He didn’t know her friends, he never met her boss. And then, there he was, softly speaking with Mr Lavigne, congratulating the man on the incredible work he was doing. 

“Look who 's here! Mbappé!" David points out excitedly. She doesn't need to follow his gaze, she was already looking at the man for the past few minutes. He doesn't look at her, though. During the entire evening there wasn't a single glance thrown in her direction. She introduces David and Mr Lavigne and they immediately hit it off, naturally. They were both interested in the same thing: each other's money. The businessman expected a generous donation from the couple that night, and Alice’s fiancé was willing to please him if it meant making business together in the future.

When Alice couldn't hide her discomfort with the situation anymore, she excused herself to the toilet. She needed a time out to freshen up, maybe finally take the Valium pill her friend Lili gracefully gifted her a couple weeks ago.

“Every decent woman should carry drugs with her at all times.” She said at the time, only half joking.

As she follows the instructions to go to the toilet she hears a knock sound behind her that makes her jump in surprise, and then a familiar voice.

“Excusez-moi,”

They’re in an empty hallway, so distant from the party there’s no sound of people at all; still, Alice feels like she was caught committing a crime. She feels cold from the scare and then warm again when she realizes: she never saw him wearing a suit, and now that they’re alone she can appreciate it.

“Do you have any idea… Do you even know what you’re doing to me?” Kylian sounds angry and Alice blushes. “You look like a fucking sex goddess and I'm not even allowed to look at you.” 

“You can look now.” She says softly, teasing him.

“Well, now I want to do a lot more than look.” He looks hungry. They reach for each other, carefully not to break the spell. When Kylian puts his hands on her, Alice feels like she’s burning. They share a deep kiss right in the middle of the hallway, not even thinking about who may see them. The kiss feels hushed, like they’re in a hurry. Kylian has his hands all over her body, he pinches her ass, holds her breasts. Alice giggles through the kiss, feeling immediate relief from being in his arms. Her eyes drift to the mirror beside them and he smiles.

“We look good don't we. We make a good match.” Kylian's voice is rough, still catching his breath from the kiss. Alice agrees.

“I can't go back there like this,” Alice pleads. “I need more.”

“What do you want, baby?” He looks worried and she almost laughs. Instead, she guides her hand to his crotch, looking at him with supplicating eyes.

“Please.”

He gets hard immediately, both inside his pants and in his behavior. He furrowed his eyebrows, looking angry again.

“Please what?” He asks, but she doesn't respond, still touching him on top of his pants. He still has his hand on her ass and takes the opportunity to give her a light slap. “Alice. Answer me.”

“Fuck me. Just a little bit. Just to… Just to remind me–” that I’m yours. In a parallel universe, not far from there, where’s just the two of them and their home, and their private world, they do belong to each other. I’m yours, take me. Alice thinks. Kylian drags her to a linen closet and once he closes the door she falls to her knees. Her hand goes back to his fly, but this time she opens it in a hurry, taking off his pants and underwear. She has her mouth on him before he can say anything.

“Of course. That’s what you needed.” He grunts. “A mouth full with my cock.” He holds her hair, guiding her movements. “You feel so good. So good. That’s what I needed too, baby.” When he feels himself getting close to an orgasm, he takes her off of him and they switch places. Kylian gets on his knees and takes off her panties, leaving her completely naked under the see through gown. “Fuck.” He almost says he loves her. Instead, he puts his mouth on her core and kisses her again. He’s hungry for her. Her pleasure and her taste are all he can think of. Kylian loses track of time and his mouth only leaves her after she pushes him off. He gave her two orgarms in a row and Alice started to feel oversensitive.

“Come here.” She asks and he obeys. He gets up and puts their bodies close together, they moan in unison as they feel their nakedness touching. He guides his cock toward her entrance and finds no resistance, Alice is drenched and lost in pleasure. He fucks her rough and fast, they can't stay there for much longer. So Kylian chases his pleasure and quickly cums inside of her. He uses his fingers to gather his cum running down her legs. Then he feeds it to her. Alice happily eats it all.

“Now you’re going back with my cum inside two of your holes.” He jokes while Alice has her eyes closed, sucking his finger for every last drop. 

They get dressed and Kylian gives her a soft chaste kiss on her forehead before they part ways. Alice goes back to her mission of going to the toilet freshen up. She swallows the Valium pill before going back to the party.

...

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[twistedtummies2]

ReCount: Top 15 Portrayals of Van Helsing

Opinions change over time. I've been doing lists for a while, and the more I see and the more I learn, the more frequently my feelings about characters and portrayals of them can shift. SO, I've decided to start doing "ReCounts." These are second attempts at old countdowns: for my more long-winded countdowns, such as month-long countdown events, I will do shortened single-post versions of them, with updated rankings, short descriptions, and collages that separate different "sections" to help tighten things up. For my shorter lists, where I give almost no descriptions and/or the choices are fewer in number, I will provide said descriptions (albeit relatively brief ones), and the lists themselves, once again, may be adjusted. With that said...later this month, I’ll be doing a countdown of the Worst Dracula Portrayals, in my opinion. I’ll also be doing a ReCount of my personal favorites. Before then, however, I felt it would be fun to talk about the notable side characters of Bram Stoker’s novel. So, we’ll begin with a ReCount of arguably the most famous character from the story (aside from Dracula himself), Abraham Van Helsing. Professor Van Helsing ISN’T the main character of the original book. I would say he’s more describable as the Gothic Horror equivalent to Merlin. He is the de-facto leader of the vampire hunters who set out to destroy Dracula, true, but he’s not the main protagonist: he is their teacher, their guide, the one who has all the knowledge and wisdom the other, younger warriors require in order to combat the threat that the undead Count provides. Van Helsing is not depicted as a professional vampire slayer, either; he’s simply a scientist, but one who has a vast knowledge of and strange belief in the supernatural. In the novel, the Professor at first appears to be a somewhat comical character; slightly clumsy and with an unusual way of speaking, as well as several eccentricities. As the story goes on, however, his own inner steel and darkness begins to show more and more. As a result, he becomes just as fascinating and mysterious as Dracula himself: there are a lot of unanswered questions about Van Helsing that make him intriguing, and he is one of the most proactive characters in the story. Both of these facts are a major part of why the character has become so noteworthy over the years since.

Over the years, Van Helsing’s reputation has intensified; most versions of the character don’t actually follow the book at all, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing (nor an uncommon thing, as later lists for other characters in the novel shall indicate). Choosing my favorite versions of the guy was really difficult, and in making this ReCount - expanding the list to a Top 15, and providing some brief descriptions - it was interesting to see what made some interpretations work or not work. With that said, here are My Top 15 Favorite Portrayals of Dracula’s Nemesis, Professor Van Helsing!

15. David Suchet, from 2006 BBC TV Film.

The same year this TV film came out, the BBC also produced a radio version of Dracula (not connected to the movie at all), and which also featured Suchet. In the radio adaptation, Suchet played Dracula, but - perhaps because the film wanted to go for a younger, more “sexy” Dracula (played by Marc Warren) - in the film, he plays Van Helsing. The film seems to conflate Van Helsing with Renfield, of all characters, depicting him as a shabby character driven half-insane by a past encounter with Dracula. Suchet does a good job with what he’s given, but I rather wish Van Helsing (and the film, in general) had followed the novel more closely.

14. Rikiya Koyama, from Phantom in the Twilight.

In this anime, Koyama voices Van Helsing XIII - a descendant of the original Van Helsing, who is the head of a monster-hunting organization called “Midnight Sun.” He is depicted as an anti-heroic antagonist: a religious zealot who believes all humans are inherently good, and all of the Umbra (monsters) are inherently evil - a Javert-like, black-and-white perspective that often causes trouble. While I liked the character on the whole, and the mysteries about him are intriguing, I was ultimately disappointed by his “battle” with Vlad (the Dracula character) and the conclusion of his story in the show. An interesting concept, but not the most glamorous execution.

13. Nigel Davenport, from the 1973 TV Film.

Davenport plays a more stiff-upper-lipped Van Helsing in this Dan-Curtis-created TV production of the story. The film depicts Van Helsing at first as a sort of dandy, very typically “British” and slightly foppish. However, as the film goes on he shows more and more of his strength and wisdom as the battle to stop Dracula gets more and more intense. I can’t say Davenport is my ideal Van Helsing, but he is an interesting rendition that pays some slight homage to the original in that respect.

12. Martin Gabel, from the Mercury Theatre Radio Version.

Not pictured here in costume, because...well...radio. :P Honestly, I don’t really have a lot to say about Gabel in this radio version, created by and starring Orson Welles. I just think he’s really freaking good: he feels a bit like how Edward Van Sloan’s Van Helsing might have acted (more on him later) if he were in a slightly more book-accurate adaptation.

11. David Moroni, from Dracula: Pages From a Virgin’s Diary.

This extremely bizarre, silent-film-styled, surrealist/Expressionistic TV film was produced by the utterly bonkers Guy Maddin, and loosely based on the Royal Winnipeg Ballet’s dance version of the story. In the film, all of the male characters - and I DO mean ALL of them - are depicted as figures of toxic masculinity. Each of them has flaws and unsavory traits, but Van Helsing is arguably the worst of them all. As a result, the film - I think intentionally - plays with the duality between him and Dracula in some interesting ways, visually, as Van Helsing really is just as awful as the vampire he’s hunting in this version.

10. Christopher Plummer, from Dracula 2000.

While I personally feel this film is a total mess, I will say that arguably the best part of the entire experience is Plummer as Van Helsing. In the movie, Van Helsing is revealed to have become as immortal as Dracula, by using the vampire’s blood to keep himself going, so that he can forever protect the world from the Count’s darkness. However, the methods Van Helsing uses provide some flaws in his character, and at the same time, Dracula himself is depicted as a more sympathetic villain (which is not uncommon). Once again, the duality this creates is interesting.

9. Goofy, from Disney’s Dracula, Starring Mickey Mouse.

Disney has done TWO different “Dracula Starring Mickey Mouse” adaptations in print: the first was a graphic novel, the second was a children’s storybook. While both have obvious similarities, they also have some differences: most notably, the storybook is much, MUCH shorter and “thinner” (both literally and metaphorically), and the casting for many of the characters is different. In the graphic novel, Goofy, of all characters, plays the role of Van Helsing; in the storybook, it’s Horace Horsecollar. (Incidentally, in the storybook Goofy is Quincey Morris, while in the comic version Horace is Arthur Holmwood.) The weird thing is that by making Goofy - clumsy, bumbling, silly Goofy - the Professor, the graphic novel actually creates one of the most weirdly accurate interpretations of the character out there.

8. Laurence Olivier, from the 1979 Film.

In this film version, Olivier’s Van Helsing is given a tragic, personal reason to fight Dracula, as its revealed his daughter is the Lucy character (and you’ll note I say “the Lucy character,” not just “Lucy;” more on that another time). When she is made into a vampire by the undead Count, Van Helsing swears vengeance, and thus his crusade to avenge his child begins. The quest to defeat the vampire ultimately seems to destroy both hero and villain in the end…but I mustn’t say more, or I shall spoil the whole story.

7. Hugh Jackman, from Van Helsing.

While Jackman’s action-hero spin on Van Helsing has almost NOTHING to do with the original book…I’ll give both him and the movie this: anytime I think of the name “Van Helsing,” this movie and this take on the character DO come pretty immediately to mind. Other than that, there’s not a whole lot to say: the movie may not be that great, but it’s a guilty pleasure, and I think Jackman’s performance is part of the reason why. He’s just always a delight to watch, in my experience.

6. Anthony Hopkins, from the 1992 Film.

In the 1992 film, Dracula is given a strongly sympathetic streak. To contrast this, Van Helsing, in turn, is given a darker edge to his character. While what he’s doing IS ultimately heroic, his methods and manners aren’t always the most saintly or kind. At times he even seems to lean towards the verge of madness, which again, makes the struggle between himself and Dracula all the more interesting.

5. The Version from the 2006 BBC Radio Version.

To this day, I have not figured out who plays Van Helsing in the radio adaptation the BBC made, written by Liz Lochhead. The actor is not credited, and I can’t tell if he’s played by someone else in the cast, doing double roles, or if it’s just that the performer chose to be anonymous. Whoever does the job, however, they do it very well: playing a serious, intelligent, but still interesting version of the Professor that courageously leads the other characters.

4. Herbert Lom, from the 1970 Film.

This was the movie made by Jess Franco, entitled "Count Dracula." While I personally feel the conclusion to Van Helsing’s story in the film is somewhat anti-climactic - neither he nor Mina ever travel to Transylvania in this version, leaving them COMPLETELY out of the final battle against Dracula and his servants - Lom portrays the Professor excellently. In this version, Van Helsing is the head of the asylum where Renfield stays, with Dr. Seward as his closest associate; it’s eventually revealed that, in secret, Van Helsing has long been a student of the occult, and it’s implied the asylum is a cover for his true work facing the “creatures of the night.” The battle between himself and Dracula is made interesting, as the film puts emphasis on their competition. Though they only come face-to-face briefly in the movie (and, apparently, behind the scenes, neither Lom nor Christopher Lee actually EVER shared screentime together), I think Van Helsing says it best: “I have never met the Count, yet I feel I know him better than my own soul.”

3. Frank Finlay, from the 1977 BBC TV Film.

Finlay plays probably the single most Stoker-accurate version of Van Helsing ever put to the screen in this 1970s television production. Many consider this one of the most faithful adaptations of the story, even though it - like all renditions - does still take a few liberties. Finlay’s Van Helsing ranges from slightly zany and comical to stone-cold serious and courageously capable, and his performance is probably one of my favorites in the man’s whole career.

2. Edward Van Sloan, from the 1931 Film & Dracula’s Daughter.

Van Sloan first played Van Helsing in the Broadway production of Hamilton Dean’s “Dracula” stage show, opposite Bela Lugosi as Dracula. When Lugosi was cast as the Count for Universal’s famous film version, Lugosi personally suggested Van Sloan be cast as his nemesis, as well. Perhaps because of this, as well as because of the expansions the film made to the twin source materials (the movie is based mostly on the play, but also includes elements from the book and a few new additions all its own), the chemistry between Van Helsing and Dracula in the film is one of the most interesting parts of the whole movie. They feel like the Sherlock Holmes and Moriarty of Gothic Horror in this version, more than anywhere else. Van Sloan reprised the role in the sequel, “Dracula’s Daughter,” and would also go on to play Van-Helsing-esque characters in both “Frankenstein” and “The Mummy.”

1. Peter Cushing, from the Hammer Horror Franchise.

Cushing is arguably where the modern Van Helsing - the idea of him as a professional monster hunter - really began. In the first Hammer film, Van Helsing is a doctor of medicine, but it’s made clear this is a cover for his true profession as a monster hunter, who has been tracking Dracula for years. Later films would continue to expand on the seemingly eternal conflict between the Count and the Professor. Cushing’s Van Helsing is a strict and strong vampire slayer, willing to go to some extreme lengths to take down Dracula and his progeny, but what I like is that - despite these hard edges - there’s also a warmth and a kindness to his character. He can be just as fierce as his enemy, but what separates him from the Count is ultimately his humanity.

[phireads]

𝑀𝓎 𝐵𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝐵𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 𝑜𝒻 2024

2024 is finished, and with it, my year of reading! I managed to read more this year than in 2022 and 2023 combined. 38 books in total. That’s one re-read, one play, one graphic novel, 28 fiction works and 7 nonfiction works. I figured I might as well round up my top 10 (re-read not included):

10. Ethan Frome by Edith Warton

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Oof. Let me start by saying that I COMPLETELY understand why so many people (especially those who had to read it in school) hate this book. It’s dreary and melodramatic and largely uneventful. However, I loved it. I enjoyed the heavy-handed metaphor of the bleak Massachusetts winter and the pathetic intensity of the protagonists’ feelings. I loved how I felt smug for the whole book because I thought I’d seen the ending coming a mile away (I most certainly had not). Ethan was actually a very interesting character to me because he takes up the role of once-naive, now-begrudging spouse - a part usually played by a woman in classic lit. Honestly so depressing but completely brilliant. I will definitely read more of Wharton’s works. Also 10/10 would recommend reading during a snowfall. 

9. Before the Coffee Gets Cold by Toshikazu Kawaguchi

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I accidentally read this (the first book in the BTCGC series) after the second and I liked them both equally. In this book, the customers of the café are much more archetypal than in the second - presumably due to Kawaguchi wanting to bring something new to the sequel. Having a sister myself, the chapter with the sisters did make me cry a little. I feel like the third book might end up being quite stale, as with the fourth and fifth installments,  as there’s only so many stories to be told. However, I’m definitely going to keep reading as I love Kazu and I want to see what happens to her. 

8. A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

After last year’s Great Expectations great disappointment, I was reluctant to take on another Dickens. Thankfully, I loved this. The principal characters felt so real and relatable - Sydney Carton my beloved <3333 - and I enjoyed the clear divergences between London and Paris and how they mirrored the divergences of Sydney and Charles. As a knitter, the knitting motif was very much noticed and appreciated as it demonstrated the quiet power which the working woman has always possessed throughout history. I will be reading more Dickens - possibly David Copperfield next since I like Dev Patel and want to see the film adaptation with him in. 

7. All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Alright, so despite the fact that I am studying German currently, I read Brian Murdoch’s English translation because I’m unfortunately not yet at the level where I can read books even semi-fluently. I found the translation very stilted and clumsy but I know that this is not the fault of Remarque so I’ve tried to put that aside when considering my rating. This book is remarkable (I would never forgive myself if I didn’t do that obvious pun just once) especially for how it fits into the political and military history of Germany. In 1928 (original date of publication), it was not acceptable to publish a book with such blatant anti-war messaging anywhere (in England too, you might be put on a watchlist) so Remarque’s publication of this novel was truly an act of bravery (which eventually got him exiled from his homeland). I think Paul was the perfect protagonist to choose. He’s sort of the medium between his friends - not too romantic, nor too solemn at the start of the novel - and he does serve well as an everyman narrator. I admire Remarque for not concealing the harsh, crude and often sickening realities of war. A truly incredible book. I will be watching the 2022 German language film (with Daniel Brühl) and then rereading this book in German once I am capable of it. 

6. I’m Glad my Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Despite being nearly 100 years and over 5000 miles apart from All Quiet on the Western Front, in I’m Glad my Mom Died, Jennette McCurdy writes with a frankness very reminiscent of Erich María Remarque. This book was absolutely astounding. I’m not usually one for celebrity memoirs or Hollywood gossip but everything I’d heard about this book suggested it was so much more than just a vapid, cash-grabbing exposé. Like most children with access to Nickelodeon in the early 2010s, my sister and I were obsessed with iCarly so I was really interested in learning more about McCurdy beyond her character, Sam Puckett. The realities of child stardom depicted in the book did not shock me - with the amount of Netflix documentaries made about the topic in the last few years, how could it? No, what truly astounded and disgusted me was McCurdy’s relationship with the titular Mom. How anyone could do that to another person - let alone their own child - is completely beyond me. In this memoir, McCurdy writes with the sharpest truth and wit and I was genuinely so overwhelmingly happy when I read that she’s been given a fiction deal as a result of this book. I will absolutely be buying anything she publishes. 

5. Mansfield Park by Jane Austen

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I’m not ashamed to say that I was really nervous to read Mansfield Park, not only because it was the last of Austen’s complete novels that I hadn’t read but also because I was disappointed with Northanger Abbey last year. As with Dickens, this year’s Austen was spectacular. Is Fanny Price a little annoying and self-righteous? Yes. But I think she has every reason to be (also, her being annoying was my perception so don’t come for me on that one). Mansfield Park was such an interesting setting - given how the proximity of the Bertrams and Crawfords augmented the drama. I know many people have qualms with the ending but I personally liked it - a quiet marriage, lacking overt passion was very realistic in Austen’s time and I like to think the couple's relationship will have blossomed over time from friendship and respect to real love. 

4. Far from the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This is my second - and so far favourite - Hardy. I just love how you can feel the amount of love Hardy has for his region of England, in the tender way that he describes the landscapes and the livelihoods of the people who live there. Bathsheba Everdene (what a name!) is a very well-written character. She begins the story naive and haughty and goes through hardships (to put it lightly) which make her more receptive to the world and people around her. As with Tess of the D’Urbervilles, this story could very easily become an unqualified man (Thomas Hardy) preaching about feminine morality. Somehow, neither book is this (in my opinion). I’m genuinely amazed by the sensitivity with which Hardy writes his female characters. I also really enjoyed Bathsheba’s suitors - hard-working Gabriel Oak, steady Mr Boldwood and dangerous Sergeant Troy. Speaking of Mr Boldwood, there’s a heart-wrenching tiktok edit of Michael Sheen playing the role in the 2015 film adaptation, set to Mitski’s Goodbye My Danish Sweetheart. I deleted tiktok shortly after watching this but I’m sure it’ll still be on there if anyone wants to behold a cinematic masterpiece, such as this. Regardless, I digress. This is a really wonderful book which I still think about regularly, even ten months later. 

3. Malibu Rising by Taylor Jenkins Reid 

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Perhaps the most incongruous book on this Top 10, Malibu Rising is the third book I’ve read from author Taylor Jenkins Reid. I enjoyed both The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo and Daisy Jones and the Six but found them lacking the emotional catharsis which I was hoping for. For me, Malibu Rising did not disappoint. Jenkins Reid offers a more revealing emotional portrait of her characters while still remaining in her popular fiction style. This is the first of her fame-focussed books which properly examines the damaging effects of a life lead in the spotlight. I loved all the Riva siblings and enjoyed booing pantomime villain Mick Riva off the metaphorical stage. I honestly am already thinking about re-reading this but thankfully, I’ve lent my copy to a friend so I cannot yet be thwarted in my 2025 reading plans. Carrie Soto is Back will be bought and read at some point but I’ve heard that that is the final book in the Riva-verse so I don’t want it to be over. 

2. Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Oh, Daphne du Maurier, the woman you are. This is such an incredible book. It’s gothic, mystery, thriller, soft horror, coming-of-age, romance (kind of). Essentially, this is a Bluebeard story but it still feels so fresh and captivating, like an unsettling dream which you know you’ll never have again. I’ve heard many people say that the unnamed protagonist (I will always think of her as “Ich”, because of the German musical - which I have not watched/ listened to but it seems to be more popular on tumblr than the book) is insipid and annoying. To me, she’s such a compelling character and I love the way she develops and hardens through the novel - as would be only natural for a young woman in her situation. She’s me, your honour. This is one of those books that I wish I had written. The fact that the three most important characters in the novel (you can fight me on this) are women just floors me. I bought Jamaica Inn and will hopefully get around to that this year. If you like gothic novels, read this!

1. Headshot by Rita Bullwinkel

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This was originally a five star read for me but as I sat writing this review, I realised it hasn’t stuck with me as a five star book should. Like with Ethan Frome, I completely understand if people don’t like it. Headshot follows eight teenage girls at a boxing championship in Reno, Nevada. It’s literary fiction - which, for me, can easily become convoluted and faux-intellectual - but there’s still a plot. The characters themselves are just incredible. I adored the insights which we’re given into their personalities and why each girl wants to win. My favourite character was without a doubt Rachel. She was very relatable to me. I also really liked how the girls thought of each other by full names - really demonstrating that desire to keep things professional and distant, demonstrating that desire to win. 

That’s all! Here’s to more great books in 2025!

[simplylove101]

2024 Horror Challenge: [86/?]

↳“The solution for a claustrophobic astronaut is to give him more space.” Alien: Romulus (2024) dir. Fede Álvarez

Plot: While scavenging the deep ends of a derelict space station, a group of young space colonists come face to face with the most terrifying life form in the universe.

Starring: Cailee Spaeny, David Jonsson, Archie Renaux, Isabela Merced, Spike Fearn & Aileen Wu

Okay, I fell asleep as usual before I could type up my reviews for the movies I chose for my Halloween marathon. I settled on three (and then it turned out I had to trade one out because the first option was quickly turning into a dud watch & I just couldn't deal with that on Halloween of all nights They gotta be at least solid. lol) and this was one of them. My co-worker had warned me beforehand that it was just okay in his opinion, which doesn't necessarily mean anything cuz sometimes his taste is basic, but I will admit I don't think he was too far-off by saying that. I think it definitely got stronger in the second half with all the action-packed sequences but it took me a little while to really get invested at all. This isn't even because of bias of the superior Alien/Aliens movies (I appreciate Prometheus for what it is as well) but it doesn't really do enough to make the characters feel real and have their own personalities beyond serving the plot, besides the sister-foster brother/android relationship between Rain & Andy. The acting with them felt like a major highlight (Priscilla/Civil War fans will recognize the talented Cailee Spaeny & David Jonsson was in the very underrated Rye Lane last year) along with Isabela Merced showing her skills as a promising scream queen (I mean that quite literally btw by giving one of the best screams in horror imo) I knew she wouldn't be but spoiler alert, she should have been a final girl. welp lol Anyway, the rest of the cast is good with what they had to work with but as I said the script only gave them so much. The effects were really good tho and I appreciate Fede was trying to make sure he stayed as true as he could to the original movie since this takes place after it. I'm one of the people split on the usage of Ian Holm's likeness since Fede has been very open about the fact that he did it for the sake of the story but then Idk if that transparency makes it any better tbh since it's still a form of AI, is it not? And the man is dead. :/ Either way, there was too much of his character anyway so that doesn't help. It did feel like it relied a little too much on typical Alien tropes but then that's the trouble with some sequels/prequels sometimes. Not every trick is gonna hit every time since it'll feel repetitive. That said, I say this as someone who hasn't seen every Alien movie so I won't pretend to speak on true mega fans' behalf. Anyway, as I said, it took a minute to get me on board, but at least the finale was strong enough to be entertaining. Still, gotta say out of the three major Fede Álvarez movies, this was probably my least fave (but then I really like both Evil Dead & Don't Breathe which I own so lol) I am curious if I would have preferred this in the theater tho, because I feel like I might have with how epic they were trying to go with it. Crazy they were gonna just dump this on Hulu as if it wouldn't make a ton of money (spoiler alert: It made a lot) So, yeah, wanted to like it more but it wasn't all bad. Which is all I went in expecting so it was fine.

[nemir]

We love a Welcome Home/Wally AU in this house. I’d like to introduce everyone to Concept Wally! He’s the product of a single brainstorming session by a failing studio, who needed to come up with an idea for a children’s programme. Unfortunately, the studio closed and everything was scrapped. The only thing that remained was a single concept sketch - that would be him, Concept Wally.

I’m just gonna copy/paste my notes from here because I’m lazy BUT please enjoy him and I hope you all love him as much as I do!! ;; He’s just a lil guy who doesn’t want to be forgotten!! Be nice to him.

welcome home in the early 70s; wally was going to be a fresh university graduate who just had a passion and desire to teach kids more than what school ever did, and he was going to do it with song! (specifically rock & roll genre, for a mass audience appeal)

 it never progressed the conception phase. somehow, he gained sentience - perhaps because of the sheer belief in the show his concept artist had

unfortunately, the studio closed only 2 weeks after wally was designed, and so the entire idea was scrapped.

wally was just a picture on paper. he hated that the idea was scrapped, didn't want to "die", so to speak.

somehow found a way to get in people's dreams, to "inspire" them to draw this character they dreamt of. and as they draw him he gains more power until he was able to tear himself from the page.

he's still able to go back into paper, and uses that to travel or get around quickly, and watch people (some 'take on me' music video type shit)

as above and so below: "as above" is being in the outside world, "so below" is being restricted to the paper. in order to stay out of below, he needs people to draw him. if they stop, he'll lose power and lose the ability to tear himself off the page

this mfer absolutely has gradient inky arms because I SAID SO. it is peak character design. (it wasn’t part of his original design, it just happened because of bleeding ink as paper ages, etc)

he cries ink. bleeds it. vomits it. it's his spit. it's literally what he's made of so no surprises there

the original concept was a life-sized puppet, or rather, someone in a thin felt-covered body suit, with a puppet head (think doodlebops but not painted). this wally is about 5'9".

his designed was loosely based on early 70s David Bowie.

the more people draw him in one type of way, that's how he'll appear when he's in the world. so if a bunch of people are drawing him like a lil Muppet man, then lmfao that's how he'll look until people start drawing him differently (which means people would have to be drawing him in a similar way for him to appear that way), otherwise he'll just take his initial concept sketch form on paper.

voice claim; g-man. half life. (he was never given a voice so finds speech odd. his words are stilted, and sound like something trying to mimic human speech. lots of weird emphasis, run on sentences. odd breaths here and there)

his main outfit is just a pair of trousers with a white button up that usually has the sleeves rolled 3/4, and a few buttons undone with a bright orange undershirt and heart patterned suspenders.

when his face goes dark and you can only see his eyes, there's ink dripping from his chin/cheeks (as if the ink is covering his whole face)

personality wise, he's a little odd. doesn't quite know how to "people", since he isn't one; they never got past concept art after all! but he isn't completely devoid of emotion or empathy. he holds strong affinity for the people who draw him (even if all you draw is a little stick figure of him!! he appreciates it so much ... and it still gives him power), calling them friends. he does get a bit jealous when he catches you drawing other things though! otherwise, he's completely harmless and just doesn't want to be forgotten

[hazbincalifornia]

Hazbin Episode 1 Liveblog

In order to avoid this post getting Way Too Long, I'm going to make one post for episode one, and one for episode two!

I will say, I'm kinda sad we don't have a 'proper' theme song/intro, just the little jingle :( I do get it, but ah well.

Oh my god the commercial is even better in full.

How the fuck did he get Charlie to keep the name if it was still him???

Al's so fucking offended they're making him use a camera he made it one giant middle finger. I love it.

The voices are definitely going to take a bit of adjustment. It's probably because I've rewatched the pilot a zillion times, though.

I like how Alastor didn't even look at Angel. "Never going to happen!"

Awww, Charlie's ringtone for her dad is cute.

I DO really love Keith David as Husk right away, he suits the role perfectly.

"I like being forced!" and I love you, you weird little gremlin. Hoping for some good CNC stuff with her now, tbh. She'd be fun for it.

The flat delivery of 'crack is expensive' made me wheeze out loud.

Aaaa and here we go, full animation for Happy Day!

Why... why is the 'shoving barbed wire in your hole' guy an imp. Is that, like, his job or something. Is he just an asshole?

Ooooo, that was VAGGIE singing the 'bloodthirsty and deranged?' line? More fodder for her being a fallen angel/exterminator.

'Helluva post' for the mail. Ha.

This just made me fully realize how much the cannibal colony probably considers the post-extermination like a feast day.

Awww, the music note background is a fun touch.

Something about the fact that the 'touch my parts!' guy is a completely shapeless slug-creature instead of just keeping the dick offscreen makes it funnier.

Oh, I love Adam. The fun kind of punchable prick.

The animation seems a bit... overacted? I've noticed it all along but with Vaggie in the scene where she talks about making a new commercial especially. It sort of felt like they wanted to match the pilot's very snappy energy but weren't quite sure how, so everybody makes kind of... aimless motioning instead of moving with purpose, if it makes sense? It feels more like 'moving body parts for the sake of moving things' over 'moving with intent'. It's sort of awkward and distracting. The shifting proportions don't really help, but I just know people are going to be Fucking Annoying about that when it's unfortunately part of the package of making a whole season at once by a regular animation studio.

Oh yeah, Blake's perfect for Angel, lmao. It was more of a change than I expected from the few lines we'd gotten since they sounded more like the original, but he's got the energy.

Charlie didn't know Adam ran the angel army? That seems like the kind of thing she should have known. I wonder if she was relatively sheltered growing up.

'Call me dickmaster' why do I get the feeling the Chaz fans will like him, lmfao.

Since I'm on Adam though, another little groan to myself about the lack of fat characters in the hellaverse that aren't either gross stereotypes or background characters. Adam falls into the misogynist type, (like, the 'redditor', you know the one, just sort of mixed with a sleazy rockstar) Mammon's literally Greed and a talentless abuser, the lady at the pound was gross/uncaring and ugly, and I still think the Nurse was the only one that really broke the pattern and I've seen approximately one piece of fanart or mention of her ever (despite her clearly-developed positive relationship with Barbie!) and it was porn. I'm allowed to bitch on this after people were so fucking annoying about how wanting Bee to be fat was wanting her to be a 'gross ugly blob' and then saying other people were being fatphobic for pointing out everybody's skinny. Somehow. Anyway.

Well, at least they got the vagina joke out of the way early.

I love how his deal isn't for anything that would genuinely screw Vaggie over, he's just pissed they want him to deal with TV.

The fact that the pilot's still 'soft canon' makes sense with how Angel just immediately starts admiring his new clothes without any surprise, since it's happened before. Also, Niffty with the Marilyn pose is cute.

Oh, I'm definitely going to like Lute. I still like my idea she used to be close to Vaggie but when Vaggie was cast down, she stuck tighter to the rules.

Adam's song is fun!

So season 1 takes place over the course of six months? Huh. I'm guessing we'll have some time skips if we only have eight episodes.

I wonder what the Heaven Embassy is for? I can't imagine it's only for meetings like that considering there's couches in the lobby and stuff. Can sinners communicate with loved ones in heaven or vice versa, maybe, just using the holograms?

Oh my god the Katie voice IS basically just Brandon's Bryce voice. Amazing.

Ohoooo? VERY curious who managed to pull off killing an exterminator, and 'can't let them catch on'... hmm.

[dragonofeternal]

So one of the coolest bits of animanga ephemera that I own is probably these two volumes of the Epic Comics printing of AKIRA.

In 1988, American comics publishers were starting to take notice of the growing popularity of Japanese animation, and Marvel wanted a slice of the pie. A few years earlier, they had made the Epic Comics imprint to run more adult stories free of Comics Code censorship, including both standalone titles and non-canonical spinoffs of their more popular characters. The fledgling imprint seemed like the perfect place for a slice of that cool, weird Japanamation pie. They set their sights on Katsuhiro Otomo's AKIRA, which had done well in Japan and was set to get film adaptation that year. The editor of Epic at the time felt that the disaffected youth, psychic powers, and post-apocalyptic sci-fi setting would be familiar enough touch points to make the series resonate with American readers.

However, Epic didn't think that American comics readers would be as drawn to something that read "backwards" and was black and white. So, they did what would become the standard for many years- they flipped the pages to read left-to-right. They then enlisted colorist Steve Oliff to create a full-color version of AKIRA. While it's easy to jump to thinking of this as a butchering of the original work, Otomo was actually fully on board, as he wanted his work to reach as many people as possible. Otomo collaborated with Oliff directly at first, flying out to meet with him and share some of his personal desires for the coloring. He had some initial color guides, stills from the as-of-yet unreleased movie, and a deep passion and desire for his work to do well in the west. For the first five or six issues, Oliff sent all of his colorings off to Otomo for approval, but after that, Otomo was pleased enough that he gave Oliff free reign to go with his instincts for the rest of the comic's run. The colored version was even re-licensed, flipped back to the Japanese order, and released in Japan! I've never seen any copies of that, but I bet it's cool as hell!

I got these as a Christmas present sometime in the mid '00s from my Aunt Ing and Uncle David, who knew I liked anime and manga, but knew absolutely nothing about the stuff. They picked them up at a garage sale in DC for pocket change, and gave them to me along with a second hand copy of the DEVILMAN live action movie from 2004. I clearly remember them saying something along the lines of "Here, I hope you like this! We know you like that manga stuff. Hopefully 'Akira' isn't Japanese for like hardcore donkey porn or something, hahaha!" ...As if you couldn't flip the book open and see what was in it for yourself, Uncle David?

(Also worth noting that I had already seen the Akira movie at this point, so it's not like I didn't know what I was getting into!)

The manga (and the not-long-after release of the anime) made AKIRA a hit in the states. The Epic Comics run split the series into 38 issues that ran from 1988 to 1994. However, the legacy of Epic's colored run has an influence outside of just helping to introduce this iconic series to American readers.

It was also one of the first digitally colored comics.

Oliff and his company, Olyopitcs, were pioneers in using digital coloring methods. While he made initial color guides on paper versions of the pages using traditional methods like pantone films and paint, the finalized versions were all colored digitally, allowing for a wide, rich range of colors. This style of coloring incentivized Marvel to print it on slightly higher quality paper, and the series' success made Marvel more interested in looking to computers as a way to enhance their art and workflow. Perhaps he overstates it a bit, but Oliff credits his Eisner award-winning run as the colorist for AKIRA as the turning point for digital art's acceptance in comics.

It's unlikely that the colored version of AKIRA will ever be re-released, as the rights that Marvel held have LONG since traded hands, first to Dark Horse and then back to Kodansha. Copies of the colored version of AKIRA are hard to come by and pricy now, ranging from $10-100 for a single issue on eBay depending on condition and what particular issue it is (climactic issues are obviously more expensive than more laid back ones). It's not completely out of the question that it'll see the light of day again, however; Oliff still has all the digital files of the colored version of AKIRA, and he has expressed that he would be more than happy to have them reprinted if Kodansha wished to.

If not, though, I still have my two issues, and a very cool piece of anime localization history.

Historical info for this post was fact checked/sourced from this Japan Times article from their 30th anniversary retrospective and this 2016 ANN interview with Oliff. Feel free to check them out if you want to know more!