#or well. THAT level of upset I mean. I can’t avoid being upset at all - this is S&L : /

[jonkentdeservesbetter]

So I watched 3x02. I…have thoughts on Lois having cancer, but I don’t know how to write it all together in a way that makes sense? So I’m just gonna ramble my thoughts *shrug*

I guess I’ll start off with the blunt truth (in true Lois-Lane-style): I don’t want this.

Something that’s being said a lot by a good number of fans about this, is that, after both seasons 1 & 2 - S2 especially - this really does not work. Lois has pretty much only had really traumatic and/or emotionally devastating focus, if it’s just hers I mean. Obviously there’s been some fluff in this show, but…first we had Lois feeling less important to Clark in S1 to his other stuff, then her miscarriage storyline, then the almost dying because of Tal and losing her husband to brainwashing and begging for his life, then S2 starts and she’s reliving her trauma with her mother abandoning her, her sister betraying her and her career+integrity being questioned (no resolution to the Ally plot WRT Lois, honestly, which still tastes bitter to me). The whole of season 2 for Lois following that - like. do I truly need to go point by point? Literally S2 was Awful to her.

And now, S3 opens, and she discovers she wants another baby. But not only can she not have that right now (and Clark seemed hesitant but playing along, so maybe not at all and she’s gonna havefta find out later, as she’s dealing with Everything Else), she’s got aggressive, deadly cancer! Hooray 😒 /s.

Like. Why the fuck is it only this? Always?

I hate it. And don’t mistake me: I am very, very chronically ill myself, I KNOW what kind of strength it takes to be THIS sick, to be so weak in the limbs, having to lock yourself in the bathroom for hours because of the more gross stuff, being so fatigued you just can’t shower without help, etc. This is absolutely a storyline that can show strength, because, frankly, the mental fortitude required, and having to completely reshape the way you think, all while grieving losing the autonomy, the functioning of your body, is MASSIVE.

But Lois has been through E-FUCKING-NOUGH ALREADY. We know her strength! We know she’s badass! This is just. It’s just utterly unnecessary and painful and cruel.

This isn’t the storyline she should’ve had.

That’s it. That’s my post.

[hannie-dul-set]

WHAT’S WRONG WITH CEO PARK?

p — PARK SUNGHOON x gn! reader. g — ceo! sunghoon and secretary! reader, humor, romance. w — swearing, sunghoon being a weirdo, a misplaced marriage proposal. 1.3k words.

requested by — anon: menace to everyone but you x the opposite of that.

note — i hate the cold angsty male ceo trope. so instead i turned ceo hoon into a weirdo that's a little bit too in love and doesn’t understand the concept of workplace boundaries which stresses you the fuck out!!

when you got promoted from being assistant secretary thanks to your ceo’s former secretary resigning, your co-workers did not throw you a celebration.

“you called for me, mr. park?”

instead, they threw you an advanced farewell party. it was nice working with you, said the cake dusted with stray confetti on the day of your promotion. they’re celebrating your inevitable resignation. they’re sure you’re going to follow suit after you predecessor within three months max because according to them—

“yes.”

your boss, park sunghoon, is the nastiest fucker in the planet.

“take a seat.”

you gulp, making cautious steps into your ceo’s office. he’s signing a stack of documents while you take your sweet time delaying having to sit in front of his paper-stacked desk, setting them aside the moment you sit down, sharp eyes immediately zeroing into your soul, and you start sweating.

there’s a bet on the line on when you’d eventually quit. today marks your fourth month here, and you’re pretty sure heeseung is going to win because you are in fact this close to sliding your pre-written resignation letter over his desk, adding onto his pile.

not because he’s terrible, like they all say. not because he’s temperamental.

“sunoo told me you were sick,” sunghoon starts. “why did you come to work today?”

but because you fear your boss might be a little bit in love with you.

“is...is that the only reason you asked for me?” you hesitantly say, picking on your cuticles and trying to avoid eye contact because the concern drowning your boss’s expression is just enough to drown you as well.

“you don’t look well,” he avoids your question. of course you don’t look well. you’re very, very uncomfortable right now and the main cause of that discomfort is him. “you should go home. i’ll tell jay to drive you.”

you’re pretty sure jay isn’t going to be happy with that. 

“mr. park—”

“i thought i asked you to call me sunghoon.”

your mouth is left hanging open. you’re flabbergasted. you take a second to recollect your thoughts. “...mr. park. sir,” you emphasize. you should at least be the one reminding him of your hierarchical roles at the moment. sunghoon looks upset that you’re not abiding by his request, but says nothing in protest so you continue. “i ran out of sick leaves. and there’s still so much work to do, i can’t just go home.”

“you ran out? well i’ll just give you more.” sir, that’s not how it works. “and jungwon can take care of your work. you should go home and rest.”

jungwon wouldn’t be too happy with that either. you feel your stress levels rising, headache incoming, because he’s just not listening to you. this crazy bastard, you think to yourself.

but maybe you were thinking a little too loudly.

“can you say that again?”

you slap a hand over your mouth with a gasp.

“say it again.”

you’re fucked. you just called your boss a bastard right to his face. “i’m—i’m so sorry, mr. park, i didn’t mean to—” but maybe that’s a good thing because that means you wouldn’t need to debate about resigning if he’s gonna fire you. “i apologize. i’ll accept any punishment you’ll give me.”

“no, say it again,” he hums, sounding a little too happy after being called crazy and a bastard, and you get a bad feeling. a really bad feeling. “i felt like we just got closer because of that. swear at me again.”

there’s a smile playing on your boss’s face. 

“i— i don’t think that’s appropriate, sir.”

jesus christ, he’s a bit more in love with you than you thought.

“why not?” when sunghoon gets up from behind his seat, circling out from behind his desk to lean back against it right in front of you instead, you start fearing for your life. he looks at you, arms crossed in disappointment, and he looks a little too good with rolled up sleeves and slim-fit slacks. 

crap, were you just checking out your boss?

his crazy is rubbing off on you.

“you have no trouble with swearing at and laughing around with the others,” he says. “why can’t you do the same with me?”

he is not normal, you think. thankfully not out loud this time. “sir, you’re my boss. i’m just your secretary. there’s a big gap there. i can’t just treat you the same way as i do with my co-workers.”

your boss takes in your words. he remains quiet with a stoic face for a few moments, and with each passing second of silence, you feel half a year of your life being shaved off. “ah,” he finally makes a sound after a good minute and a half. “should i give you a promotion, then?”

oh my fucking god, he’s nuts.

“boss, there’s an urgent thing you need to—”

“did i permit you to enter my office?”

your eyes widen, slapped in the face by a whiplash when your fellow secretary jake suddenly pops into the office, only to be cut off by the sharp glare and icy tone of your boss. jake’s hand doesn’t leave the doorknob when he nearly stumbles in shock with a stack of papers pressed to his chest. you see the look on his face. it’s the face of someone who’s about to get royally fucked over.

“n—no, sir. but these documents are—”

“then why are you in my office?” holy shit. so this is what they meant when they said ceo park is a bitchy demon from hell. jake looks like he’s about to piss himself. you’ve never been on the brunt of his temper— likely because he’s biased and has feelings for you, which has always felt burdensome. but now you’re a little thankful because you’d probably cry if he snapped at you like that.

“i’m sorry, i’ll leave now. i apologize.”

with that, jake makes his hasty retreat, and you’re once more left alone with your crazy boss. 

“where were we?” he says. “oh, right. your promotion.”

you’re starting to feel dizzy. 

“i’ve never liked how seojoo handled things. you can take his spot as the sales department head.” you have to stop him. you have to stop him before he actually fires a competent employee and gives you their spot as a courtship gift. “wait. i think you’d prefer working in HR actually. it’s a shame ms. kim is going to lose her position, but i can just—”

“mr. park—”

“sunghoon,” he cuts you off. “call me sunghoon.”

you look at him, exasperated. “sir,” you say. “i don’t think this is right.”

sunghoon raises a brow. “you don’t like HR? which department would you prefer then?”

you can’t. you can’t do this anymore. you make the mistake of letting your eyes wander out of stress, because they inadvertently land on the shiny gold glint of his nameplate, which is a terribly bad move following after his question because sunghoon notices, and sunghoon gets the very, very wrong idea.

oh, no. oh, no no no no no—

“i see.”

he doesn’t! he doesn’t see! you aren’t coveting his seat! you just want to go back to work and stop dealing with your insane and far too in love with you boss!

“i’m afraid i can’t give away my position as ceo,” he tells you. you swallow, shutting your eyes because you don’t want to acknowledge the mess you’ve just accidentally made, but your lack of vision definitely doesn’t interfere with your sense of hearing.

what you hear next sounds clearer than you’d like it to be.

“how about the position of being the ceo’s fiancé instead?”

that’s it.

“i will be getting back to work now, mr. park.”

there is something very wrong with your boss. it’s not in your job description to fix him.

WHAT’S WRONG WITH CEO PARK? © hannie-dul-set, 2023.

[kisu-doodles]

Big tw: for child abuse and manipulation

Idk about u Babez but I really would like to see jack winters featured in Scott’s story in mainstream x men adaptations. Like idk I just feel like it’s a really integral part of his character (which is why all the beauteous fic writers include him) that just gets ignored in the shows and movies!

Like scoots has a ton of trauma already but there is something so upsetting about jack winters and the also how he parallels other people in Scott’s life (specifically Xavier and sinister).

I think it was demonstrated best in the children of the atom comic, especially that scene where scott comes home and jack just starts raging out of nowhere. But also in other comics you see how he can be ‘nice’ to Scott like getting him his glasses but this further tightens his control over him making Scott think that his only option is staying with him. Jack knows Scott is way more powerful than him so he abuses him to make him feel helpless then does basic things like let him go to school (which I thought was odd that he was registered as Scott’s foster father in CoA since he’s a wanted criminal but then I was like oh he’s using a fake identity and having Scott at school means he can get money from the government which somehow makes it even more gross)

Like just from Scott’s pov, he’s on the run after accidentally destroying the orphanage, effectively blind for fear of opening his eyes and living with a traumatic brain injury and the after effects of sinister’s experiments, thinking he’s some sort of monster because of his mutation. He was probably homeless for a long long time which would be even harder due to his blindness and then suddenly he is approached by a man who he inexplicably trusts (since Jack is a low level telepath) who gives him food and shelter and what’s more he’s a mutant just like Scott. Scott probably thinks this is the only person in the world who understands him but then little by little he gets coerced into doing things he doesn’t want to do just little crimes at first and when he refuses jack becomes a terrifying monster that beats him and yells before calming down and reminding Scott that if he wasn’t such a dumb ass he wouldn’t get angry but hey Scott can’t help it being an idiot because his head is fucked up.

Then after raging he gives Scott the greatest gift, his sight back and what’s more he lets him go to school because he finds scott irritating so it would be nice for him to be out of his hair for awhile, maybe learn how to look people in the eye and stop mumbling like an idiot. Also he better do well in class and also no he’s not going to be allowed to take gym class not because of the signs of abuse, but because what if his glasses get knocked off and well it’d suck if they find out what a freak scott really is right? They’d probably send him to die in prison but Scott shouldn’t worry because Jack always looks out for him even if he’s an irritating pissant.

So Scott does everything jack says but it doesn’t stop the raging and Scott becomes convinced that he’s just a rotten to his core and that’s why Jack gets so mad at him. But it’s hard to keep up appearances at school when he’s so terribly underweight, wears the same dirty clothes everyday and can’t help zoning out during class because he was up all night helping Jack commit crimes, so Scott avoids getting to know anyone and it’s pretty easy because people tend to avoid the greasy haired weirdo with stupid glasses.

Then the heist at the nuclear plant happens and suddenly Scott is being coerced by another telepath to kill Jack and he just can’t do that, jack is the only one who could tolerate him, he gave him back his sight, he took him in when the world wanted nothing to do with him.

Then this telepath says he’s taking Scott to his home and he’s going to be a weapon for him but unlike Jack it’s for the greater good but Jack also said that, well what other choice does he have? Scott’s always been a useful object even if he is an brain damaged idiot so he goes, maybe it won’t be easy for Xavier to beat him like Jack but he’s also an infinitely more powerful mutant compared to jack but maybe if Scott does everything he says he won’t hurt him or at least not more than he deserves.

[clonemando]

@blackat-t7t Here is your Fox/Thorn H/C with a cuddle pile at the end. Enjoy.

There was a ringing snap as the old rusted barrier along the walkway gave out under the weight of a fully armored trooper crashing into it and Thorn watched as Fox’s gaze met his own wide with fear before he was falling backward over the edge. Thorn dove for him with a scream but his fingers barely brushed over Fox’s chestplate before his partner was gone swallowed up by the dark depths of Coruscant’s seemingly endless levels the same way many cadets ended up swallowed by Kamino’s waves.

For a moment he just stared feeling a void echoing the one he was staring at being torn open in his chest. Then Rex’s voice broke him from his daze.

“I didn’t mean- I didn’t- Thorn I- Fox-” He struggled to get anything out, horror replacing the rage that had been on his expression just minutes earlier as he corned them on their patrol to yell at Fox for avoiding him.

“You didn’t mean to kill him? Like he meant to kill Fives you mean? Well, you did. Guess you’re the brother killer now, Rex. Congratulations on your revenge.” Thorn said, voice level and empty as he watched Rex flinch and step back.

“What- What do we do now? Do we call-” Rex started eyes flickering around as if looking for some sort of help.

“Call who Rex? The Guard? I am the Guard and there’s nothing I can do now. He’s gone. He’s not a person, there won’t be an investigation. He’s not the first we lost over an edge and he won’t be the last and there’s never anything to do. You just… finish your patrol. Report the lost republic property to the Chancellor and put a few troopers on double shifts until we can get a replacement from Kamino.” He said starting to walk again. He had to finish his patrol. He was already late now and Fox would be upset if Thorn got himself punished for being late.

“You can’t just… just keep working! Shouldn’t you call Thire or something? There’s bereavement leave. The Kaminoans even approved it to keep their products at their most effective. The Jedi-” Rex started as he followed Thorn and finally he snapped.

“If you have forgotten, the Guard doesn’t have a Jedi. We had Fox. That’s it! We had Fox and he could only get us so much because he’s not considered a person either! Now we don’t even have him and we will all need to take triple shifts to cover all the stuff he has been shouldering on our behalf! I don’t have anyone available to cover this patrol. That’s why Fox and I were doing it. We just lost three shinies to senators and a full team was wiped out in a gang raid the week before. We don’t get things like leave or whatever the kriff bereavement is. The Guard belongs to the Senate, the Jedi abandoned us, just like you GAR bucketheads. So kriff off and go cry to your jedi for your extra days off and let me take care of my family. You’ve done enough Rex.” He spat darkly before turning on his heel and continuing his patrol. Rex didn’t follow him this time.

He raised his wrist to access his coms after another ten minutes.

“This is Commander Thorn reporting a 9-12 slash D. Commander Fox was lost to faulty railing in Sector 12-A. We will discuss promotions and schedule changes at the dawn shift change. As his second the Marshal position falls to me now. Carry on with your duties.” He murmured numbly before letting his arm fall and continuing to move on autopilot almost hoping the Separatists would chose to attack now so he’d have an excuse to shoot something. But the rest of the patrol was quiet.

~

Fox was exhausted. He had spent the last two days slogging through filth and fighting off the weird pollution corrupted creatures that prowled the lowest levels just to make his way to the closest working lift. Then he had to sit on the floor listening to the worst possible sort of music as he slowly ascended out of the dark toward his family and home. His arm was definitely broken and Shark was going to shoot him up with every hypo they had with complaints about the bite wounds he had getting infected but Fox was pretty sure he had gotten off easy.

He couldn’t explain how he was alive. The concussion made it hard to think straight but even with that he knew he had to have fallen at least 100 levels if not more. But at the last minute something had caught him and slowed his fall enough the injuries were survivable. He didn’t really take stock in the Jedi’s fancy force shit but maybe there was something out there looking out for him.

Once he was above the com-cut line where they lost signal to their coms he immediately reached out. “This is Commander Fox. I am injured and will need a medic and pick up from the lift in Sector 12-D, could someone also bring me some caff? I’m kriffing tired.” He grumbled into the line and smiled when it immediately started blowing up, resting his head against the side of the lift and letting his family’s furies and delighted voices wash over him like a warm blanket.

“Cut the chatter! Fox, Shark and I will be waiting for you once you reach the top. I… It’s good to hear from you but you have a lot of explaining on how you’re alive.” Thorn’s voice finally cut in and Fox’s smile grew.

“You’re going to be waiting until the Senate turns for that answer my rose, I have no kriffing clue. Woke up at the bottom with a concussion, broken arm and some jostled ribs but I was able to drag myself up and start walking to the lift not too long after the fall.” He sighed not even realizing he had used his pet name for Thorn until the line filled with cooing from the rest of the guard.

Fox passed out not long after that and only woke up again when Thorn was lifting him out of the elevator and onto a hover-cot and Shark started cursing him out. He squeezed Thorn’s hand then passed out again.

He flickered in and out of consciousness a few more times before finally waking up feeling better than he had felt in years. Blinking open his arms he was unsurprised to find Thorn plastered to his side and Hound using his stomach as a pillow. Shark must have allowed them to take him to the barracks at some point because he was laid out in the middle of the three mattresses they had shoved together at the beginning of the war so they could all sleep together and he was buried under his Guard.

“I thought… I thought you were gone for good. I thought I lost you.” Thorn’s voice was soft with fear and sleep and Fox ran his fingers through the long blond curls.

“Told you I was too stubborn to die. Can’t get rid of me that easily. I still have to scare the Senate into giving us rights so I can marry you one day.” He said with a small smile and Thorn sighed.

“While you were gone I shot the Chancellor. We’ve been dressing up in his robes and pretending he’s got the cornellian flu until we figure out what else to do but now you’re back it’s your problem. I’m taking a thing Rex told me was called bereavement.” Thorn said and Fox’s eyes opened fully from where he had started drifting off again.

“YOU DID WHAT?! THORN! I was gone two days!” He shrieked.

“He implied you were better off dead and I was in mourning. There’s scientific data proving making people work through grief lowers productivity. It’s not my fault!” Thorn whined and nuzzled his face in Fox’s neck while Fox tried to wiggle free but he couldn’t move from how he was buried under so many siblings.

“I’m going to kill you once I’m free. I’m going to kill all of you!” He growled but they all ignored him in favor of continuing their nap.

[starsarefire824]

“Will- you are not fine,” Mike says adamantly, interrupting Will’s thoughts of escape.  “And you haven’t been for a while. I mean—sometimes I feel like—” He huffs at him. “--- Like we aren’t even friends anymore? ” Will fidgets under his piercing gaze. It’s dark and accusing. And hurt? 

“What is that supposed to mean?” he asks, hating how hurt is building up in his own chest. How dare he put this all on him? He isn’t the one that avoided him or constantly chose to hang out with his girlfriend. He isn’t the one who hasn’t kept one promise he made in California. Will moves further away from Mike, trying to level his breathing. His back hits the cool tile wall and he rests his palms against it to quell the feeling that the room is closing in on him. 

“I mean—I mean…I thought we were a team,” Mike says, still closing the distance between them. “You said we could be a team again.” 

“Yeah, and I meant it!” Will tells him adamantly, then looks away, unable to hold his gaze. 

“Well, I don’t know. Sometimes it feels like you would rather not even be in the same room with me. Sometimes it feels like just the thought of you being around me… repulses you, or makes you upset.”

Will truly observes him then, the sadness flashing across Mike’s face making his heart ache. He’s covered in shadows in the dim light, but it’s obvious in the way his mouth twitches and how his shoulders collapse in on themselves. How had he never seen it before? How can Mike possibly think that? When all Will’s ever wanted is to be near him? 

“That’s- that’s not— That’s just not true, Mike,” he tells him, determined to change his mind. Will blinks and Mike’s face changes, his brow creasing deeply and something venomous creeps across his features. Will freezes against the wall, and pushes his back harder into it, suddenly realizing there really is nowhere to go. Mike is closing in on him. “You’re a liar,” he declares, barely a whisper, looming above him with angry tears in his eyes and breath hitching in his throat. He’s so close and Will feels the angry heat radiating off of his skin, feels his resentful, jittery energy, as if he’s about to burst out of his skin. All the while he's moving closer, his face suddenly mere inches from Will’s. He can’t shake the feeling that Mike is waiting for him to say something. To do something.   

“No,” Will pleads, stumbling over his words. “You’re wrong– I-” 

Suddenly Mike's entire expression shifts, and then his eyes are so black and lit with an intensity Will can no longer decipher. He freezes as Mike encroaches on him, and it seems to all happen so quickly his brain can’t keep up. Yet, somehow they’re in slow motion. Mike’s anger has turned into something else, and Will watches as one tear trails down his cheek. He raises his brows in concern, and Will can’t be sure what it means, but his expression is urgent, as if he’s convinced he will disappear at any moment. Will's entire body thrums with nervousness and he breathes in, biting down on his bottom lip.

Mike’s gaze lowers to Will’s mouth as he does so, eyes still impossibly dark- and- needy. The look on his face makes Will shudder, the frustrating white heat pulsing through him again. Except now it’s like a volatile vibration that shoots out from his core and races through his veins and down every limb. He can feel it hum in the tips of his fingers and the bottoms of his feet. The change in Mike is so sudden that Will’s unable to comprehend how they’ve ended up here, pressed together in the dark. Can’t comprehend how the heat that radiates off Mike’s skin and burns inside his irises sets Will on fire. -Tangled.

[discretocincel]

When skies are black

The last time I finished a story was so fucking long ago and I was starting to think I'd never do it again, but then I found a little guy with anxiety and depression and an asexual serial killer and my writer's block was cured (not really, but we're getting there!)

Anyway, I made something for RadioApple Week 2024! Today's prompt was Late Night/Early Morning, go check it out on AO3:

00:44

After long shootings, it had become a habit for Angel Dust to go sit at the bar with Husk, no matter how exhausted he was. It helped him feel like himself again, not only distracted but centered him, having the other’s eyes on him, listening to ruthless remarks in that raggedy low voice of his, forcing down some water to try to recover a tenth of the fluids he lost in the long filming hours. The man had become his sanctuary, and Angel wasn’t ashamed to admit it. In fact, he did it often, hoping to get the message across even when the barkeep refused to acknowledge the truth behind it. Angel didn’t mind much. He was in for the long run, so he would enjoy the chase while it lasted—he knew it would only make the catch all the more satisfying.

That Thursday evening, however, his sanctuary was already occupied when he made it to the hotel. Angel kept the disappointment off his face; he didn’t want to make the intruder feel bad, not if he could help it. He’d been surprised at first, to realize that their sovereign was just as volatile and emotional as his daughter, but it only made the little guy more endearing in his eyes. He genuinely didn’t want to see him upset, and not because he feared for his life in his anger (although after the extermination, he was reminded that Lucifer Morningstar truly was on another level, and perhaps he should be, if only a little, afraid for his life).

“Your Majesty, hey! I wasn’t expecting to see you up so late! Can’t sleep?”

“Angel! Welcome back!” Lucifer replied with a nervous grin, and he bashfully rubbed the back of his neck as he angled himself towards the sinner in a way he didn’t turn his back on Husk. “Is it really that late?”

“Well, no, it’s not that late, but don’t you usually go to bed quite early? You’re the first one to leave after dinner!”

“Oh. Yeah, I guess…” The king avoided his eye, downing what was left of his drink before elaborating. “I like to read before falling asleep, so it’s not that I fall asleep as soon as I go to my room, you know.”

“Ah, that makes sense,” Angel conceded, repressing the urge to make a dirty joke at the king’s expense. “Then what happened tonight? Did ya run out of books or something?”

“I just wasn’t in the mood to start anything new, is all.”

“Understandable,” Husk grumbled as he slipped a delicious looking mocktail towards Angel. “People underestimate the energy required to get to know new characters in fiction. Can I get you another one, Your Highness?” He nodded at the king’s empty tumbler.

“Please.”

“Now Husky, baby, got any fun tidbits about the new residents?” Angel asked, wiggling his eyebrows as he sipped on the pink straw of his sugary drink. Just because they weren’t alone didn’t mean they couldn’t talk like they usually would, especially considering their company. He didn’t know what had the monarch in such a jumpy state, not that he normally was calm personified, but he was kicking his feet in the air and fidgeting in his chair more than usual. Angel needed to unwind, and apparently so did The Devil, and he knew that good gossip about souls they couldn’t care less about always helped lighten the mood.

The bartender immediately caught his drift, his perceptiveness being just another trait of his that had the spider head over heels, and he placed his forearm on the bar to lean closer towards them, giving them an air of confidentiality that was hardly needed given the time and place, but was appreciated nevertheless. Husk’s insight to the newcomers’ vices, fears and desires was always delightfully detailed and usually right, no matter how farfetched it seemed. Not long ago on that very bar he had revealed what he believed of their king, though he had yet to relieve anything about the demon that owned his soul. Angel was madly curious, but also too terrified to press for information on that front. Some secrets were best left untold.

Without truly noticing, Angel finished off his third mocktail of the night, preceded by two full glasses of water, while Husk opened up a brand-new bottle of whisky for the king, when the familiar goosebumps warned him of yet another intruder to their evening. It was a small mercy that Husk hadn’t given him a drop of alcohol, otherwise, he just knew he would’ve made something crazy when the Radio Demon materialized from the shadows right behind Lucifer like the creepy motherfucker he was. Angel wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or he was just that immutable, but the king didn’t even flinch when a bony hand came to rest on his shoulder. Whether he was foolish or brave, Angel still had to admire the guy for his lack of a response.

Except, it wasn’t that he didn’t react, he would soon realize with the violence of an unexpected bucket of cold water falling on him. He just didn’t react the right way. Because who the fuck would smile in delight at having the fucking Radio Demon lean against them?!

“Good evening, gentlemen! What a pleasant surprise to find you all here this late in the night.”

“Yeah, wish I could say the same to you,” Husk grumbled. “What are you doing here so late, anyway?”

“He was at a party!” Lucifer revealed with exaggerated enthusiasm.

“Just a small gathering. It would’ve been far nicer without some of the guests, sadly.”

Angel forgot how to breathe for a moment when he saw Lucifer pout and send the Radio Demon a dejected look as he said: “Then why did you stay so long?”

Alastor blinked a few times, and Angel expected to see his eyes turn into radio dials at any moment, but it didn’t happen. The sinner simply appeared amused, if only a little tense.

“How much did you drink, Your Majesty?”

“You’re not answering my question.”

“No, I’m not. It is a dumb question. You should go to bed, Your Majesty. I shall go, too. I’m rather tired. Sleep tight, gentlemen.”

Alastor sank back into the shadows, and the king stood up abruptly not a second later, the angry scratch of the wooden floor making Angel Dust jump slightly in his own stool.

“Well. He’s right. I guess it is time for me to go to bed. Sweet dreams, Angel. Husker. Thanks for the lovely night. I’m sorry if I bothered you…”

“No way, I had fun!” Angel said, a bit awkward, thoughts reeling with distant possibilities, each one more insane than the last, but not insincerely. “We should do it again.”

“I’d like that,” Lucifer agreed, his own forced smile softening into a more genuine, gentle thing. “Good night.”

“So… that was weird, right?” Angel asked in a nearly hysterical whisper to the bartender as soon as they were alone.

“I am not acknowledging that, and neither should you. You had a long day. Go to sleep.”

Angel frowned. “You’re no fun!”

Husk sighed, but the lines around his eyes were kind, even if his mouth fought a smile.

“Maybe I’ll entertain you at a different time. I don’t think you’re ready to hear it, Legs.”

Angel’s heart skipped a beat, focusing on all the wrong parts of that sentence. He wanted to ask more; he knew whatever juicy story Husk was keeping from him was bound to make life at the hotel a hundred times more exciting, but when a gentle hand rested softly on top of his, a thumb delicately brushing over his knuckles, Angel’s knees went weak, his feet slipped from the stool’s cross stretcher and he nearly stomped his face on the bar like an idiot. He wasn’t even drunk! He was a master of seduction! How was it possible that the other man never failed to make him lose his cool and mind with the most innocent gestures?

“Go to bed, Angie. It’s late, and you’re tired. I won’t stay much longer either.”

“Okay,” he replied softly, slightly out of breath. It was the perfect time to ask the bartender to keep him company, to share his bed with him, to become more than what they were. But he couldn’t. The words just wouldn’t form on his tongue, stuck to the roof of his mouth as it was.

But that was okay. He knew he would have another chance, maybe on another night like that. Maybe after having some alcohol himself, with their king as company. And if the Radio Demon joined them at some point, well, maybe then Husk would finally give in and reveal all those secrets he kept, some even about himself, if he was lucky.

♪

03:33

“You’re drunk,” Alastor repeated as soon as Lucifer materialized in the sinner’s bedroom. “I didn’t even know that you could get drunk.”

“I wanted to be up when you returned,” Lucifer confessed, still pouting. The insufferable king had no right to be that adorable. It did unspeakable things to Alastor’s heart.

“I told you I’d be late.”

“I know. I didn’t care.”

“Clearly, you did. You’re upset.”

“No! But you said it was boring, and yet you stayed all this time! It’s suspicious!”

Alastor frowned in disbelief. “Suspicious? How, exactly? What are you accusing me of?”

“I’m not accusing you of anything. I just…” Lucifer sighed, and his shoulders sagged, as if all anger and tension was physically abandoning him. “I’m sorry. I know I’m being ridiculous. How was the gathering? How was Rosie?”

“It was exactly what I expected. Nothing more and nothing less. Rosie was alright. She sent you her regards.”

“Were the Vees there? All three of them?”

“Yes. As expected.”

Lucifer nodded his head weakly, still standing in the middle of the room, where he’d appeared, with his boots, coat and hat on.

Alastor narrowed his eyes, studying the man in front of him like he had just located the missing pieces that made sense of the picture in the puzzle.

“Did you have fun talking with Angel Dust and Husk?” He asked conversationally, walking towards the cabinet that stored his liquor as he undid the buttons of his coat. His ears moved to show that he was listening as Lucifer mumbled an answer, some story about a newcomer named ‘Steven’ or ‘Stephen’ or something like that, but Alastor wasn’t paying attention to the meaning of the words as much as he was focusing on the way they were spoken. His bowtie came next, pulling it off with one hand as he poured himself a finger of whisky. Then, after savoring his first long sip, he continued with the buttons of his shirt. His smirk widened as Lucifer’s tone went higher and higher the more skin Alastor revealed.

“What, what about you? Did you have fun? Did you speak with Vox?”

Finally. All Alastor had to do was take off his shirt, and the King of Hell easily revealed all that was troubling his mind and heart.

“I didn’t,” he said.

Lucifer frowned. “What, like nothing at all? Didn’t you at least say hi? You said it was a small gathering, no more than twelve people. You couldn’t possibly have avoided him all night. You were there for hours!”

“I didn’t avoid him as much as I ignored him, my dear. After a couple of laughable attempts, he stopped trying altogether.”

“Oh.”

Alastor hummed as he went to sit on the foot of his bed. Once there, he extended one arm in invitation, to which the other responded by flying to his side, wrapping his arms around Alastor’s middle and pushing him back on the bed. With his face pressed against Alastor’s bare chest, Lucifer mumbled:

“Good. I don’t want you talking to him. At all. Never again.”

“Even if it is to tell him that my heart belongs to another?”

Lucifer’s breath hitched, the hold he had on the sinner tightened before relaxing, and he slowly lifted his head to look up at him with eyes shiny with tears.

“You can tell him that. But I want to be there when you do.”

Alastor’s grin widened even further, while his own arms circled the shorter man, awkwardly pulling to bring their faces closer.

“Deal,” he said, and they sealed it with a kiss.

[beginningobserver]

Ni attempts to insert Rui-Ukko in 02 TV Series: the post.

⚠This is a ROUGH draft and may change later. ALSO, IT MIGHT HAVE CANON REFERENCES TO THE MOVIE ELEMENTS, SO I DON'T RECOMMEND READING IT WITHOUT WATCHING 02TB FIRST!

Ok, so the idea here is... to put Rui-kun and Ukkomon in 02. I've tried to pick a route here, and it might change later.

Will be under [read more/keep reading] so you can avoid spoilers even if i tag it with the spoilers tag.

[CW: murder mention + body horror]

So far, I've drawn not one but TWO routes for this AU - one where nothing bad happens to Rui (or, if it does, it's the usual Adv/02 level of child trauma, not something that goes "over the kids' timeslot filters" like this movie does) and he gets to explore the Digital World with Ukkomon alongside the 02 group...

... And one where maybe the "eye thing" happens during the 02 events. Now if it is the same as in the canon and the movie or not, I have no idea yet. But I am still amusing myself with this one comic where the Kaiser is testing his evil rings on Rui because he has a digi-eye and... Yeah, check out the doodle for yourselves. 

Since I like both ideas I might mix them in one interquel plotline.

So Rui is the first Chosen Child, but this term hadn't been coined by the time of his encounter with Ukkomon. And Ukkomon helped Rui to get a better life, despite not having miraculous powers to grant wishes like he told Rui. Ukkomon’s tactic was just using Liar Dream on Rui’s mom and dad, to make them at least nicer to Rui.The part of the dad being in a deathbed status is also… uh, not here, but he’s still sick.

Ukkomon protected Rui from bullies as well, by using his mind-hijacking powers to drive them away. Despite both being bad at communicating with others, they do manage to get along. Rui still hates the same things as the canon, but more likely that he does not find them interesting (plus, the part of hating cake/sweets is about OVERLY sweet things and he prefers not-too-sweet stuff, or not-too-sweet fruits) yet he doesn’t seem to get courage to say them because he never had been listened by his own family. At this point, Ukkomon is not well aware of the difference between being legitimately happy and being just a bubbly kid. So… Ukkomon starts getting desperate trying to protect Rui’s smile from everything and going nuts (aka, “i can’t let him get sad or miserable!!” sort of thing, yes it’s basically what happened in canon too) and just… manipulating people with his mind-hijacking eye-stare technique.

Rui lives in Hikarigaoka, but going to the Digital World like everyone else, somehow his digivice – being the first model in the world – manages to get the access to the Digital Gate and he goes there to cool off and have fun with the digimon. It’s when he heard about this new menace called Digimon Kaiser. His digi-friends started to beg him and Ukkomon to help, but Rui says he can’t do much because Ukkomon cannot evolve and he’s afraid of fighting. Ukkomon also is clueless about how to evolve, he only knows more kids with digimon were appearing. Then, Ukkomon suggests trying to find those kids and ask them to help their digimon friends. Funny enough, the 02 kids + older six were already doing that.

In one of the offscreen attacks of the Kaiser’s army, Rui’s right eye gets hurt and Ukkomon starts panicking because this means Rui will be sad and upset so he just sacrifices his own right eye and slaps it in the boy’s face. Of course Rui hates that and snaps at him. Ukkomon feels it was all his fault and just disappears (actually, he kept around but invisible and without letting Rui know his presence). In the human world, Rui’s parents have absolutely no idea WHERE he is, so they start suddenly “caring” about him, tho they don’t go ask for help on TV or anything, they just stick with the police. The 02 kids are aware of a kid named Ohwada Rui going missing, but they think it’s nothing related to the Digital World or Ichijouji Ken/Digimon Kaiser.

Rui was having a hard time stuck in the Digital World though. He was alone, but he had the help of the local digimon refugees and survivors. This time he covered his digi-eye with an eye-patch so as not to attract the attention of the others. Somehow, the Kaiser hears about a human with a digimon eye and thinks it’s some skilled hacker “in-game” and sends his servants to search for Rui.

It was when, a few days before the Evil Spiral being made that he gets to spot the 02 kids looking for a digimon named “Agumon”. He never saw those kids– Wait a minute, he does remember seeing a boy with a Goku-like hair and a tiny girl with light brown short hair when he was a kid… Maybe they know him? (The answer is: not in person, Taichi and Hikari had passed by Rui while they lived in Hikarigaoka and until they moved to Odaiba, but none of them know each other)

Rui goes after those kids a few weeks later (around the episode Chimeramon project is almost finished), but he’s caught by the Digimon Kaiser, who was suspiciously aware of his “Digimon Eye”?! Ken just starts asking him real tough questions, thinking that kid is smart and a prodigy like him, but… Rui is just a simpleton. No offense, he’s not a genius or anything, he’s just an ordinary boy with a digimon eye and a digivice. Wormmon is scared about what that could mean, and Rui is not sure how to explain that the eye was slapped in his face against his will and that suddenly he got into a fight with his digimon and then Ukkomon just vanished and left him.

Since Rui had disappeared way before Ken decided to ditch the human world and live in the DW, he heard of a kid missing but he didn’t expect that the boy with a digimon eye from the rumors was Rui. He doesn’t feel like doing anything with Rui though, so he just throws Rui in the dungeon and focuses on the other kids. Rui has no idea if he could do something, and he feels like Ukkomon had just abandoned him and blames him for being hunted like an animal thanks to that eye.

Ken does hear Rui thru the speakers mentioning “something something if I had followed my mom’s orders I wouldn’t have been in trouble now” and he feels… empathetic for that kid? Is that possible? Ken doesn’t let Rui leave, but mysteriously his time inside his cell gets a little more… comfortable? He got a new pair of clean clothes and he’s receiving some decent meals now…? How??

One day Wormmon was feeling jealous of Ken getting some emotional attachment to that prisoner that he does the same thing he had done with Agumon: He opens the cell discreetly while Ken is not around looking at the cameras and lets Rui escape.

The 02 team and the Kaiser showdown happens normally, and Rui just appears in front of the 02 kids between the ep 22 and 24 events. The group catches him by accident because he was wearing a cape and hoodie to not call for peeps' attention and then Takeru immediately remembers seeing a kid who had disappeared mysteriously in the newspapers, way before Ken went insane.

Rui is not aware about that, but he feels like he cannot leave now because of that. The kids wonder what he means by that and he shows them the Digi-eye in his face. It makes them confused and question if he’s indeed human, but he tries to explain (this time) what happened, and that he got captured by the Digimon Kaiser for days and maybe months. The group is in doubt, but Daisuke tells them he trusts Rui. Hikari asks where’s Rui’s partner now and Rui pouts upset: We had a fight and he just vanished. The 02 group decide they should just help Rui to find Ukkomon, but Rui thinks Ukkomon might not want to talk to him anymore and then says Ukkomon was doing things he didn’t want to and didn’t like at all. Iori asks why he didn’t tell Ukkomon that, and Rui shuts in.

The 02 group’s digimon find that strange, because a digimon partner wouldn’t run away like that, right? Daisuke even mentions that Wormmon did not leave Ken’s side and even helped them to beat Chimeramon in order to rescue Ken from himself. The group agree, Ukkomon might still be around. Rui wonders how.

They had to stick along with the kid for a while, at least after school activities. The group ask Agumon and Gabumon to take a look at Rui for them (Rui is not happy with that idea but he has no options left) and then the digimon duo try to keep the boy comfortable. He’s NOT happy though.

Agumon asks what’s wrong and he just sulks, refuses to talk with Agumon or even Gabumon. Piyomon, Palmon, Gomamon and Tentomon come in and try to help the other two digimon to deal with that kid. Rui just keeps hating more and more being there and he wants to go home, but he knows that eye would make people claim he’s a FREAK and maybe things would be even worse now. Sadly, the older six’s digipartners are clueless and don’t feel like they can solve it. And Rui started to just blame the digimon in gen for his misfortune, making the six critters sad. He then just realizes he messed this up with them, and quickly tries to apologize. He tells them that Ukkomon really didn’t know him that well, and didn’t even know what he liked or wanted. Gabumon then says “Are you sure about that?” out of the blue.

Once Rui fell asleep, the six digimon noticed something hiding behind the trees and found Ukkomon, who was invisible this whole time (somehow) and kept protecting Rui in the shadows, though he was still upset with the boy’s statements and behavior. Piyomon asks why did he “leave” Rui behind and Ukkomon vents that he was getting frustrated about what to keep Rui happy and smiling. The other mons look at each other and then back to Ukkomon, who continues “He really needs me but he snapped when I tried to help him before'', making Gomamon comment that “giving your own eye to a human is not going to help him at all” and everyone agree. Ukkomon is unable to understand WHY this is wrong, and they had to say “If Rui slapped his own eye on Ukkomon out of the blue, to help him out, would he like that?” and Ukkomon took a while to give an answer. And the digimon didn’t want to think about a scenario where Rui is literally destroying himself either. But now Rui is mad and he’s having a tough time with that big eye in his face. Ukkomon feels ashamed for going off the rails. Palmon suggests that he go talk with Rui, but… Ukkomon also is bad at communicating so he just shuts in just like Rui.

The digimon reported it to Daisuke and co., and they just think those two need to be in the same room in order to deal with it themselves… But Daisuke refuses to turn his back on Rui and Ukkomon, so he just goes to talk with the boy.

Daisuke asks Rui why he didn’t tell Ukkomon that he didn’t like some things Ukkomon was doing and Rui just feels like he’s getting scolded by his mom. Daisuke continues, “You have to tell what’s bothering you or else nobody will get your feelings right,” and Rui just argues back “If I told Ukkomon he wasn’t helping me at all he would lose his reason to exist.”

The digimon and the kids are confused: Does Rui think the digimon are just servant familiars? Something similar to Ken believing the DW and the digimon were a game?

Rui explains that Ukkomon came to him to make his wishes come true, but his partner had no idea what he likes or needs, so he kept quiet accepting everything like he was used to – His mother was the one to decide his favorite things, and if he said something otherwise she would claim he’s an ungrateful kid. So not even he knows what he needs or what he likes.

Daisuke sighs and then tells Rui that Ukkomon did all of those things because Ukkomon likes him, and doesn’t know how to help him. V-mon sneaks into the convo and asks Rui “Do you know what Ukkomon likes and what he hates anyway?” and it makes Rui just realize something he and Ukkomon were not communicating. Yes he had been watching things by distance and those kids and their digimon had a better understanding of each others’ personalities, likes and dislikes, traits and flaws…Something he and Ukkomon's partnership had been lacking all along.

Ukkomon was hearing that convo, still invisible for them all. A little pouty because he was still hurt by Rui’s actions.  However, the eye made Rui notice Ukkomon was nearby and he called for his digimon. Ukkomon felt no reason to keep hiding and just popped in front of them, still missing his eye. Rui then speaks with his heart for the first time and asks Ukkomon to let them start from zero, and to learn more about each other. Ukkomon agrees, and asks what Rui wishes for and the boy answers he doesn’t need anything else. And Ukkomon in return said he didn’t know how to help Rui and assumed that the boy’s smile meant Rui was happy so he tried to prevent anything bad from happening in order to keep Rui happy and smiling even if it meant to do some… wrong things. The group ask “Which ‘wrong things’??” and Ukkomon reveals he can control people’s minds and had been using it on people. He feared that Rui would hate him, but… Rui was only disappointed that this meant nobody liked him for real.

Ukkomon doesn’t agree with that statement, and thinks there’s people who care and like Rui for real. And then mentioned the digimon they met and the older six’s digimon, also Daisuke and the others right there. Rui takes a moment to agree with that, and then he asks Ukkomon if he could get his eye back. Daisuke asks why Ukkomon gave his eye to Rui before, and Ukkomon says Rui got hurt in the middle of a digimon attack. Miyako suggests them to take Rui to the hospital after Ukkomon “returned” Rui’s injured eye (= he just removed the digi-eye just like magic and the real eye, hidden by the other one, just reappeared in Rui’s face)

The kids and their digimon go back to the human world and then Rui asks to be taken to his relatives instead. Everyone asks why and he says that they are the only ones able to talk with his parents at the moment. Ukkomon offers to use his power on Rui’s parents again, but Rui himself tells Ukkomon to not. He can handle this, he will ask his cousin and her parents to help him out. No one, not even Mr. Ishida argued with him, since they thought it could be a delicate subject that maybe having one or two peeps who care about Rui enough could help there.

Rui gets to talk with his relatives and explain everything to them (with the help of the 02 kids, Taichi, Koushiro and Mr. Ishida, of course, after Rui and Ukkomon explained to them hours ago) and they didn’t know how to break the news that… Rui’s parents had died while he went missing. Rui was in shock, just like all the others who came to give him support, and now they all plus Rui’s relatives were there to help him to deal with the loss. Ukkomon wonders if it was his fault, but he does not tell anyone, and he continues to bottle it up. He wasn’t around to make sure they would be fine… Right? His power wouldn’t be that strong to KILL humans, R I G H T ? !

Rui and Ukkomon get to meet Ken and Wormmon again on ep 39 events. But before that, he and Ukkomon spend their own time trying to get to know each other and find a way to use Ukkomon’s powers for good and not for selfish purposes. Since Ukkomon cannot evolve, they thought it would be better to not get involved with the digimon battles happening around (and again) – Though this made him emotionally exhausted: Why are the digimon trying to attack this world…? Why are they fighting those kids and their partners? Ukkomon himself doesn’t know either, but he believes they could get the answers from his higher-ups.

Rui wonders what kind of higher-ups would Ukkomon have, he just remembers Ukkomon briefly mentioning them before. Ukkomon then suggests going to the DW and looking for Homeostasis’ agents and talking to them. Rui doesn’t know what those agents look like, or why someone would be named ‘Homeostasis’ to begin with. Ukkomon doesn’t know how to answer those questions so he reinforces the idea of going to look for them.

Once they’re on their mission, Rui asks Ukkomon: “Wait, if you’re connected to something greater, couldn’t you simply contact them and call for help?” Ukkomon blinks those big green eyes and admits he didn’t think about that before. Rui glances at him, unamused by that answer.

The truth is, Ukkomon doesn’t know how to call for his higher-ups. But Rui just got a dumb idea of… pressing a few buttons on his digivice. Ukkomon feels this would be hilarious if they could summon someone like that…

And then they casually pass by Gennai, who was heading back from his encounter with Qinglongmon. Yup. Ukkomon and Rui look at each other for a moment, and ask if they did that or not. Ukkomon points out that that ‘human-like’ lifeform is one of Homeostasis’ agents. Rui notices he’s carrying an orb. They follow Gennai but SUDDENLY that ‘person’ disappeared?!

Ukkomon wonders where that agent has gone and Rui thinks maybe they should go home and try another time… Until they spot a long silver haired woman in a dress and purple shades with a tall man in a blue uniform. Ukkomon can definitely sense that woman and man are not… humans at all, and then he and Rui decide to follow them, returning to the human world. 

Huh?! Why were those digimon– Hey, they’re in Tamachi now?? And there’s a digimon running amok. He notices a boy with a familiar digimon before trying to get people out of there and protect themselves, but the Dark Tower prevents Wormmon from evolving and Ken is not very happy with that at all. The wild Triceramon running around and causing havoc hits a traffic pole and it comes into Ken’s direction, BUT! Ukkomon and Rui appear, and Ukkomon uses his tentacles coming from his fingers to catch the pole before it hits Ken. Wormmon immediately recognizes Rui, and Ken’s a little awkward around that kid. Wormmon sees Ukkomon and also recognizes those eyes, but Ukkomon and Rui had no time to explain, nor Ken and Wormmon have time to hear a long story right now. Ken asks Rui to simply escort the people around the area for them, and the other just agrees but says he’s worried about Ken and Wormmon, who just tell him they will be fine.

Rui and Ukkomon then leave the area, searching for anyone else in the middle of Triceramon’s rampage. A few hours later, he and Ukkomon witness a strong and powerful aura coming from the beam hitting something in the area he and Ukkomon were with Ken before, and then they witness Imperialdramon dragon mode for the first time in their lives. 

A few days passed and then Rui did not hear about Daisuke or Ken or the digimon for a while. But he and Ukkomon try contacting the alleged “higher-ups’ Ukkomon talked about. This time they manage to get in touch with Gennai personally and start asking some questions. As usual, not even Gennai or the Holy Beasts know why digimon partnerships are happening, or why the evil digimon are attacking the human world. Rui comments this was pointless, and then he believes it was all his fault because of that wish he made in 1996 on his birthday, Feb 29. Gennai says it’s unlikely to be because of him and that he was just the first of them.

Ukkomon comments about hearing someone saying “something something you’re the first attempt with this experiment” and Rui snaps “So am I a guinea pig for the digi-gods?!” Gennai stares at Ukkomon, and sighs. He explains that it might not mean something in a heartless sense, that the human and digimon partnerships started because of a peculiar encounter of a Koromon and a pair of human siblings prior to 1996. Then, Gennai asks him if he had witnessed a digimon before meeting Ukkomon and Rui takes a moment to think. He then mentions seeing a giant orange dinosaur and a big parrot fighting when he was 3 years old, but he thought it was just a crazy dream he had after watching something before falling asleep. Gennai then reveals that it wasn’t a dream, and that Rui had been chosen as the first to form a bond with a digimon because of it. And that Rui has been observed to be in the need of someone to love and protect him.

He realizes that… Ukkomon did save him from the bad parenting life he was living. He was just a BABY and couldn't even accidentally wet his pants or bed sheets like other kids his age, or reject stuff his mom wanted him to like and claimed to be “his favorite”. Ukkomon agrees, but still feels that using that technique on Rui’s parents might be the reason they had died. Rui tries to tell him it wasn’t his fault, it couldn’t be true, RIGHT?? Ukkomon begs for Rui’s pardon, but the boy still does not get it at all. Gennai then tells Ukkomon to leave it as it is, for better or for worse. Rui also did not get that either.

After talking with Gennai, Rui returns home with Ukkomon and then the news on TV is about a few children disappearing out of nowhere, just like him. He then learns that Ken also went missing before, and mused if it was around the time Ken was the Kaiser. Again, he couldn’t do anything so he only hoped for the best.

It was only when the truck headed to Hikarigaoka that he decided to do something. But he and Ukkomon just witnessed the Jogress digimon sealing Daemon in the Dark Ocean. The police were nearby taking care of the kidnapped kids and the now abandoned truck, so he couldn’t approach that area at all. The only 02 group member Rui and Ukkomon meet is Takeru, who was looking for a safe spot to evolve Patamon into Pegasusmon and head home. Rui asks Takeru what happened and if the kidnapped kids were related to something about the digimon attacks recently and he explains a brief version of the current events. Ukkomon wonders why someone would kidnap children like that.

They later learn, from Daisuke, that the kidnapped children now have digimon data inside their bodies. And then Rui is assigned to keep an eye on one of them who might be from the area where he and his relatives live. With Ukkomon’s unique abilities like sneaking into places or being invisible, Rui could help them to keep watching the dark seed kids, even if he doesn’t understand what’s happening that much.

But he couldn't do much, and in the end his efforts were in vain because of what happened on New Year's Eve. Rui wanted to do more, and he in fact did go to the Digital World for that final battle, and helped them out like the rest of the Chosen Children around the world. But that whole action might have caused a MASS PANIC in the human world because children are disappearing en masse for a few hours?!

BelialVamdemon is beaten, everyone returns home. Fin.

So far this is all I got for it, and idk how to do the post-series stuff (movies and drama CDs) or the Epilogue part so I’ll just stop here for now. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed my dummy Hacker’s Memory-esque idea (or Lion King 1 ½ lol) and I might draw more stuff with this whole setting. (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

[ladylooch]

(When you start writing again)

Is there a time where Emma sticks up for Lexi since she’s more of the sweet kindhearted out of the two

The way we all know Emma is the fierce one 🤭

“Be right back.” Timo smooches Emma and Lio quickly before he disappears into Carl F. Bucherer watch company. Nico and him are working on a sponsorship deal, so they are picking up their custom watches before heading back to Jersey for another hockey season.

Emma and Lexi know sparkling, glass enclosures and little fingers don’t mesh well. So they are opting to stay outside in the mountain sun with the littles.

Currently, Lio and Lucie have their noses pressed to different glass belonging to the next storefront. Inside is colorful displays of candy.

“Mama, can we go in?” Lucie asks.

“We have candy at home from grandma and grandpa. You don’t need more.”

“But I want it.” Lucie says matter of factly.

“We don’t always get what we want.” Lexi says gently, smoothing Lucie’s fly aways coming out of her pony tail. Little eyebrows fold together over inherited brown eyes.

“You’re mean! Daddy would let me!” Lexi pauses, pursing her lips. She glances into the store where Nico is laughing at the counter with Timo and the store clerk. They have been out most of the morning and afternoon. Lucie had begun showing signs of overstimulation a little bit ago, but Nico wanted to stop to avoid another trip into town.

“Luc.” Lexi murmurs, getting down to her daughters level.

“Hmph.” Lucie grunts, crossing her arms dramatically over her chest. A big fat, pouty lip pulls her jaw out.

“I need you to use kind words to express your feelings.”

“I can’t! You’re too mean to me!”

“I am not being mean. I am allowed to set a boundary and say no. You have some at home. You can have a few pieces after dinner.”

“THAT IS SO FAR AWAY!” Lucie yells.

Emma Meier watches the exchange silently, knowing not to interfere with another parent.

“Lee.” Emma calls her son away from the window. Lio hasn’t asked for any candy, but Emma wants to do what she can to diffuse the situation. “You want to help mama with dinner tonight? I need someone to rip the basil.”

“Yeah.” He grins, then wraps his arms around her neck. Emma lifts him up. Lio wraps his whole little body around his mama. She sways them from foot to foot, scratching his back with her freshly manicured nails.

Across the sidewalk sit two, observing old women with looks of disgust.

“See this is why Nico should have married a Swiss girl. Americans raise their children to be brats.”

Emma’s ears perk. She glances at the two women on the bench then back to her sister in law.

“Luc. I understand you’re upset-“

“No! I want it! I want it! I want it!” Lucie screams. Lexi’s cheeks begin to flare red as others on the sidewalk stare while they walk by.

“We don’t…” Lucie begins to slap at Lexi to make her stop talking. “No.” Lexi grabs Lucie’s hands, to cease the slapping.

“Owie!! Lucie screams

“Child abuse happening right in front of our eyes.” One of them tisks.

“What is wrong with you?” Emma snaps. Both women’s eyes widen in shock. They clearly thought their muttering wasn’t loud enough to hear. “You should be ashamed of yourself. We are Swiss. We are supposed to be welcoming of other cultures and women should support other women. Her daughter is have a difficult day. She is not a bad parent. She is also not hurting her. She is trying to keep them both safe.”

Lexi looks up at the tone of Emma’s voice. Lucie huffs exasperatedly as Lexi releases her now still arms.

“Take deep breaths for me.” Lexi focuses her attention back to her daughter. Frustrated tears fall down Lucie’s cheeks. But she pulls in a shuddering breath in conjunction with her mom.

“A Swiss mother wouldn’t let it get to that level.” The other one scolds.

“My brother is lucky to have her as his wife and the mother of his child. Swiss women have treated him worse than that American.”

“Those lose women from his younger years would have been better parents than this. This type of parenting is despicable. Look at how well behaved your boy is. That is true Swiss breeding at it’s best.” Emma wants to vomit at the breeding comment. Her eyes narrow further as she steps closer to the bench the two old bats are sitting on. Her parents raised her right, but she knows when to throw down for her family.

“Keep talking and you’ll find out how impolite this Swiss girl can be. Better yet, why don’t you find a different bench to park your fat asses on? That one is starting to sag in the middle like your foreheads.”

“Emma?” Timo calls behind her, surprised. She whips around.

“Hold Lio. I need to kick some ass here.” Timo takes Lio, looking at Lexi.

“I don’t know. It’s all been in German.” Lexi shrugs. Nico is kneeling down with her by Lucie. “We are having a tough time with the word no.” Nico cringes.

“Yeah, we heard her screaming in the store.”

“Great.” Lexi looks down, feeling her throat closing in. She may not understand Swiss German but she clearly heard American enough times to know they were shameful towards her.

“It’s okay,” Nico pulls her into his body to give her a kiss. “Hey, I think we are going to head home.” He turns to Timo, catching Emma stalking toward the women across the way. Emma hikes up her jeans and pushes her sleeves forward, expensive, Cartier bangles clinging together. If she had earrings, they all think she would be taking them off right now. “Emma.” The tone of Nico’s voice is stern. “Let it go.” Emma glares.

“You’re too pretty for jail, baby.” Timo reminds her, a smirk on his face. He is so hot for his wife right now. He wants to head home too, put Lio down, and let her ride out that explosive energy on him.

“Learn a lesson in decency before you step outside next.” Emma finishes. She turns on her heel and comes back to the group. Lexi meets her gaze.

“Thank you.” Lexi has no idea what they said and she doesn’t care. But watching Emma stand up for her makes her bubble with affection.

“Nobody talks about my sister like that.”

[brightdarkness-2013]

Chapter 10: Aggression

Summary: The team talks some things out to clear the air a bit.

I had no patience for the Brave Police. I tried to keep our chats and contact to a minimum. I didn’t want them around me. I denied them at every turn and yet still they came to bother me. Just what didn’t they get? They had to babysit me, but that didn’t mean we had to talk.

“Gunmax? I think I found some movies that you’d like.” Drillboy risked coming closer.

“How about no?” I returned just as I had every day he asked or brought it up now.

“You didn’t even look at them. These are more high action. There’s this one that’s about a car that’s alive and races. Then there’s-”

“I don’t want to watch anything with you. The type of film has nothing to do with my answer. Go out and play with someone else on your breaks. I don’t have the patience to deal with this.”

“You haven’t been in the mood for anything lately.” He frowned, looking on the verge of a tantrum.

“Then take the hint and leave me Alone.” I pointedly turned away and went back to fiddling with my gun.

He shifted on his feet behind me like he was unsure what to do before he thankfully slunk away for the time being. With him gone that was one less to deal with. I flicked the safety on and off, opening and closing the ammo chamber. The constant clicking was something to focus on. All I could do was wait at this point. Once they were ok we could figure this out. Until then I had to deal with them. Waiting and practicing patience was not one of my strong suits. Anyone who had ever dealt with me could probably agree on that.

“Gunmax.”

“What? What do you want now?” I snapped, turning to face the rest of the room.

“You’re upset-” McCrane started.

“Oh really? What gave it away?”

“You have every right to be, but this needs to end.”

“It’ll end when you leave me be. I don’t want to talk to any of you. Just what about that do you not understand?”

“Avoiding it isn’t going to help anyone.”

“The only thing I’m avoiding is all of you and it would be working out fine if you’d get the hint.”

“We’re sorry.”

“Huh?” Well I wasn’t expecting that.

“We hurt you. We didn’t know it was going to do that. We wouldn’t have if we knew.” Dumpson supplied.

“You left again so we were looking for you. We heard you scream. We thought they were hurting you. We had to fight.” Drillboy added.

“They would have never hurt me. You had no right to intervene. Everything would have been fine.”

“We couldn’t have just let that be. The more you interact the worse it gets.” Deckered tried.

“What are you talking about?” I was getting more frustrated the longer this went on.

“The coding, Gunmax. It’s more active than when you first got it.”

“So? What does that have to do with all of you not getting the hint?”

“You’re not acting like yourself. You haven’t been since it happened and it’s scaring me... It feels like we’re losing you.”

There was a moment of silence as that sunk in. I wanted to deny it. I wasn’t any different and they had no reason to worry about it. However, they had hurt my unit. They were still waiting and I wanted to verbally tear into them for it. I had felt their pain.

“I’m not acting any different. It’s all in your heads.” I growled, ready to turn away again to signal that I had no interest in talking anymore.

“It’s not. You’ve been far more agitated with everyone and it’s only been getting worse. Your emotions have always been on the more volatile side of things, but this level of aggression… It’s not normal.” Duke spoke dragging my attention back.

“Talk to us, Gunmax. We can’t understand or help you if you don’t.” Deckerd pleaded.

Talk? He had to be kidding. They didn’t listen to Anything I said before. When I tried to explain they didn’t believe me. They had thought I was lying. Said so to my face. I snapped. I slammed my revolver onto the tabletop, startling them.

“Talk? Talk? Are you kidding me? I Tried to talk. None of you would Listen! Everything I said you ignored or assumed that I was lying. You followed me around all the time without so much as an explanation. None of you would give me any space or even take the time to explain why. You treated me like I couldn’t do anything on my own. Everytime I said I felt fine I could tell you didn’t believe me. I was irritable because none of you would tell me anything. I left because I wanted space. If any of you had taken the time to explain that going too far would hurt or even cause problems I wouldn’t have ever ended up in the river. If you would have told me why you were all acting like that I wouldn’t have been trying to avoid you then.” I ranted.

“Gunmax, we-”

“No. I am Not done. You wanted me to talk, well you’re going to listen this time.” I practically hissed. “If any of you had listened then I wouldn’t have gone to Red and Blue for answers. I couldn’t remember anything that happened when we were fused so when I was me again and you were all acting like This I was sure that we had done something. That your distrust of them extended to me because of something that we had done. You were following me around like I couldn’t be trusted. Oh and of course when you caught me with them you called me a liar. So tell me? How was I supposed to react? My Team was treating me like a criminal, accusing me of lying. Why would I Not be angry?”

I was venting a bit heavily now, but I had to admit that it had felt good. My anger didn’t feel quite as powerful now. Yelling at them had really lifted a load. It felt good to see them so speechless at that. I should have done so much sooner.

“We… didn’t realize. I’m sorry to have put you through that.”

“Well it’s too late now, isn’t it?” I huffed and he flinched.

“We thought that we were going to lose you to them. They, he wanted to complete some connections. If that happened then there was a chance that it wouldn’t be reversible. We had to get you all to break apart. And when we forced it…” He faltered. “You almost died.”

“We didn’t want to risk that happening again. If they convinced you to fuse again or forced you to you might have not been so lucky unfusing that time.” McCrane continued when I didn’t say anything. “It was terrifying to see you in that state. There was the risk that the coding would cause some side effects, hurt you. We didn’t want to leave you alone and run the risk of you needing us or them getting to you.”

“They wanna take you off to the states with them, you know that? Redwave and Bluelight.” Power Joe’s lip rose like just saying it brought a bad taste.

Well it certainly explained some things, but as I had said before it was too late now. It was done and over with. The coding was active and the link more complete. They were the only ones who could answer any of the questions I had now. The only ones I Wanted to be around at this point… I was still angry at them. Perhaps I shouldn’t be with everything they had told me, but that didn’t change how I felt.

“I’m still angry. If there’s nothing else I’d rather not talk anymore.”

“I… understand.” Deckerd sounded disappointed.

He was so naive thinking that one talk could just magically fix everything. Though I didn’t like that look on my partner despite what had occurred. With a sigh I pushed that down. Battle partner and friend or not I was not going to yield. They had hurt us.

Next

First

Masterpost

[miiishcambion]

There’s a lot of debate right now regarding “neurotypical communication vs neurodivergent communication” and which communication behaviors are associated with each type, if one is better than the other etc, and it reminds me of a concept I learned in grad school regarding the ‘context’ level of communication styles. To summarize:

Basically, communication styles exist in a spectrum: from very ‘high context’ styles that require a high level of cultural context and mutual understanding to work properly, allll the way over to the very ‘low context’ styles, where communication is very upfront with little to no cultural context needed for it to be understood.

High context is usually indirect with a lot of subtext, with a focus on “politeness” and the avoidance of “rudeness.” It varies widely depending on the culture it exists in, and two people from different high-context communication styles may very well struggle to communicate at all.

Low context is usually direct and straightforward. You aren’t expecting the listener to know a bunch of additional norms in order to do over your meaning- your meaning is clear in your words. For people not used to high context communication, it can come across as abrasive or rude.

A lot of what you see people describe as “neurotypical communication” is high-context communication, and a lot of what people describe as “neurodivergent communication” is actually low-context communication. That’s not to say that one neurotype can’t gravitate towards one more on average (I do actually think there is a basis to draw a connection between neurodivergence and a preference for low-context communication, for example)- but it is to say that someone’s communication style cannot, on its own, determine their neurotype.

There are pros and cons to both high and low context communication, and a communication style is often deeply entrenched in the culture that develops it- to the point that challenging it can be very difficult and even upsetting. The way we communicate has emotional and social importance to us, and when other people question it, it can make us defensive.

At the end of the day, though, I think people often use neurodivergent/neurotypical to describe things that are not exclusive to those groups, and I think that artificially shuts down discussion in a way that isn’t helpful. Turning the conversation into a debate around whose inherent, unchangeable brain type is better is just not productive.

Being able to isolate the communication style itself in order to dissect it is a much better use of our time, imo- because while neurotypes don’t change, communication and behavior can, and sometimes it needs to.

(I might add to this later to explain it a bit more in detail and get into what sorts of cultures tend to have what sorts of communication and what situations they tend to work best in, but I’ll leave it here for now.)

[skitskatdacat63]

misc lore drop day 29/?

I vaguely mentioned in one of my recent posts about how vettonso being annoying to each other is somehow more bearable for everyone rather than them outright hating each other. Which is interesting. Theoretically wouldn’t them avoiding each other be easier than the constant provocation? Wouldn’t it be easier if they treated it as a cut and dried political, arranged marriage? Just a union for political gain. I mean, love isn’t necessary for a marriage, right? Wrong! Well, in this case specifically. Again, they argue for sport, they’re practically bound by fate to eternally annoy each other, it’s basically just antagonistic flirting. A lack of enrichment in this way would be fine if they weren’t married, and were just very distant adversaries and later acquaintances. HOWEVER the point of this AU is literally forced proximity. There’s not much of a point to it if they’re not forced together. I think that being forced together into a union, a palace, etc, feels even more forced if they outright avoid each other. It would mean they’re trapped in this situation but trying to live in a delusional fantasy where they’re not in fact trapped, thus leading to even more resentment building up.Their constant goading of each other serves more than one purpose. Yes, it’s something they bond over, but it also effectively allows them to get their annoyances with each other out without causing a fully fledged fight. It chips away at their hatred and frustration, not allowing it to stagnate or build. So, yes, it is better in the long run for them to not avoid each other.

Those around them have learned that those two avoiding each other just means all their energy is building up to becoming a full on, genuine fight. This is learned after one of them goes on a long trip and doesn’t visit the other for a few days after they get back. They absolutely EXPLODE at each other. “Oh wow you think you’re too uppity to say hello?” “Oh you can’t stand to be without me for a couple days?” “You’re so full of yourself!” “You’re so needy!!” etc etc. Then proceed to avoid each other for more days, leading to worse and worse arguments. It’s a really tough cycle to get out of because they’re never going to, god forbid, express their actual feelings and upset to the other person. Don’t worry, they’ll solve it in the marital bed, and stay locked in their chambers together for a few days to sort everything out. This kind of spat is fun for nobody, even them. Yes, it eventually concludes happily with some level of satisfaction, but even after they resolve their problems, all of the genuine anger built up in the constant arguments doesn’t really go away, it just lurks underneath. They weren’t fun playful spats over nothing, it was genuine anger that had been building up and was allowed to progress. 

After too many occurrences of these terrible rows, even they realize they need to find a way to prevent this from happening in the future. Even if they resolve to stay in close quarters, for the most part, when they’re together, they do still have to be apart. I mean, they literally rule different kingdoms. I said in an earlier post that they send each other letters while they’re apart. This is a decision that comes on the heels of too many absolutely terrible reunions. Their aides encourage them(read: egg them on) to send letters to each other and update them about various things. They do sometimes send fond messages, but a lot of them are little, petty things. Though look, they’re staying in contact AND keeping the resentment at bay. Great success. Though to be clear, they definitely do roleplay being angry with each other like the early days-

[docholligay]

Episode 4: Nat

Hello! This is about up to Episode 4 of Yellowjackets, and ONLY episode 4 of Yellowjackets. I have not seen beyond the fourth episode, at all, and know NOTHING about this show. Please do not spoil it for me.  Things that are spoilery in nature, for me, include: saying things like  “Just wait!!” confirming or denying anything I put forward, outside information about the cast interviews or creator statements, leading questions like “Do you think “blank moment” means anything?” etc. Remember  that Y’ALL HAVE SEEN THE SHOW AND I HAVE NOT. This informs the way you  talk about things relating to the show. Just be really careful is all  I’m asking. Also: If there is LITERALLY any stance I  could take on this show or character that would make you upset, please  just fucking block the tag

If you WOULD like to discuss the show and my takes on it, the Discord is right here! I don’t go there, so it’s a great place to get every emotion out.

Please thank @sailorsunspot and @moonlight-frittata for backing this odd way of doing a liveblog, and remember my tip jar is always open

So I’ve had some concerns about Nat, narrative and character wise, from the beginning, because she is primed for what I like to call ‘that cool girl shit,’ that disaffected, ‘real’ Daria-ass bullshit that was so popular for so long and poisoned the fucking well of any character who was slightly acerbic, for me.

I have A LOT more faith that this show is not going to do that, or at the very least, it’s going to say, “Yeah that’s exactly what Nat is going for, unfortunately she’s pathetic and wet and full of shit” which is a stance I support and cheer.

That being said, when we opened the show with Nat seeing her dead father and I knew we were going to see her tragic anime backstory, I had one (1) (yuri) fear. Luckily, I feel personally like we managed to avoid that. Let’s discuss.

First of all, I know I’m making a lot out of this, but I do think it’s basically the same thing that keeps coming up (And is going to be even more prominent with Shauna) that these bitches never grew up and left the woods. Nat is that as well, as we see her literally inhabit the past in a clever scene switch from present to past, watching her own younger self go by her in the hallway. It is as real to her as if it were happening right that instant.

We’re opening a line here, I think, to point out that Nat sometimes thinks of herself as responsible when she’s not. In what she thinks will be her final moments, she sees her father, feels blamed for his death, and to at least some extent she must believe that’s true, or she wouldn’t see him. It’s that old “first you must find someone who can be made to feel inferior”: If Nat truly, in her heart of hearts, did not feel at all responsible for his death, she wouldn’t be imagining that, in the moment. Of course, she is not responsible, and I knew that FROM the word go, not to count on my own cleverness, but I think the show was perfectly happy with you realizing that early. All it is trying to show with this is:

A) Nat talks a real tough game, but most of her badass moments are accidental or impulse. She’s not nearly as tough as even she thinks she is, she’s basically some stupid baby owl making herself puff up and hissing. Nat’s sitting in some stupid bar like, “My Dad screamed at me for years, and one day he ended up shot during an argument...accident. Shame.” And she takes a swig of her whiskey and shes’ told you the truth, but she’s told you the truth in a very particular way that leads you to a lie.

B) Nat does on some level believe that bad accidents or happenings that are AROUND her are ABOUT her. I am team “travis killed himself” even though I have some suspicions that the show is going to make it into a thing (more on this later) but even if he did, Nat would continue to say he didn’t, I assume for some stupid reason like “we promised’ or something, and of course it has to be ABOUT Nat.

We can’t talk about Nat without talking about Travis. 

I am not INTO Travis, I do not LIKE Travis nor cheer him, but I think it’s easy for me not to hate him, because the show looks at me, not liking Travis, nor thinking he needs a hug or whatever the fuck ever, and is like, ‘That’s a valid perspective!” which does so much to help me appreciate an unlikable character.

And I love how he makes Nat unlikable. The way she boldly manipulates Kevyn’s kindness, going so far as to go back to her old house to find the mix, in order to show him that she had it and bring up all those old feelings in him--this is not a spontaneous moment where she was accidentally a little bit of a shit. This was as calculated as her perfect shot in the forest. Ready aim fire, that is absolutely what she was doing and Kevyn got fucking baited like a deer. “I can’t stop thinking about Travis” oh my god, like, we all know Misty is out of her fucking mind and that’s great, but Nat, also, is a complete mess, and also, an asshole, because unlike Misty, I am 10000% sure that Nat knows what she’s doing is not okay. Misty I go back and forth on, she’s wild, but NAT knows. 

Anyway, from the time she put her hands all over a dead body, cut off a finger, because she had the stomach for it, because she is more of a born CREATURE than Travis could ever be, Travis has been motivating her, in one way or another, not in ways I think he’s cognizant of, and in ways I know she doesn’tr understand, toward her worst impulses. 

Maybe with Travis by her side, she could have been the one who shot him. She sure does with the deer.

[funkymbtifiction]

Hello Charity! I am ISTP and either a 9 or a 5.

Based on what you write below, I’d say a 9w1 so/sp. Too much concern for not upsetting people, remaining positive an upbeat (positive core, 9 pushing away from discomfort and avoiding being the wet blanket), and some super-ego self-criticism about being untrue to people in repressing your true feelings (1 wing). 5s are less emotionally attached to other people (non-attachment types; they are core ‘rejection’ types which means pushing away from others’ expectations; you are leaning into them with a core attachment strategy, even if you hate it).

But anyway....

Probably dumb question but how do I open up to someone? My friends always describe me as someone who is very stoic and has a cool head on their shoulders, but lately I noticed that the way they view me makes me feel sort of trapped. I am always expected to be the reasonable one and to never, god forbid, express any negative emotions other than mild irritation.

Let’s stop here. Inferior Fe tends to not read the room well, so... have you asked them or been informed of this, or is this a self-made observation that is keeping you trapped in your own mind and avoiding of expressing yourself? In other words, have they reacted with negativity to your own negativity, or are you assuming there is no room for your negativity within the relationship? Low Fe users can sometimes over-focus on keeping others happy as 9s, and not want to in any way rock the boat -- but they also don’t realize that higher feeling types are fairly accommodating of people’s various emotions and moods. Feelers in particular swim in that kind of an ocean -- so there’s room within most types for even their thinker friends to be upset, negative, complain, etc.

All emotions are permissible, by the way, and since you are not a robot, you are allowed to have and express them. One way to handle this is when others praise you for being calm and level headed, to say -- I am, yes, but I also have feelings that swell up within me and want to overflow. I get angry, I get sad, I get upset.

True friends are okay with your good days and bad days. If your friends are really your friends, it’s okay to be honest with them on an emotional level. As to how you start doing that -- take a breath and just... do it. Opening up means finding a moment and unfolding what’s on your mind or your heart. As an inferior Fe, you may struggle to know the right moment, so watch for it. Pick a time when you are being honest with each other, or it seems “right.” (Bad moments are when sharing your feelings would interrupt whatever is going on with them, or be disruptive in some way to the task at hand. Good moments are quiet talks and catch-ups about your day, week, life, etc.)

It’s very annoying because it’s like everyone else is allowed to be sad and get support for it, but hold me to that standard that I can’t get upset or act irrationally.

You are allowed. What’s more, you don’t HAVE to uphold their standard. You get to make your own choices about what to share and what to withhold, and how you react, and when you react, and you are allowed to get upset/be immature or irrational in certain kinds of situations. That’s called being human. Nobody is perfect and nobody gets it right. You can get sad and ask for support. You can vent, complain, or admit that life is hard, because it’s true.

And at the same time, I feel deep shame for desire to express my emotions because if I do that, I will sort of lose the only good thing I have - rationality, and that, somehow, it will turn out that I deceived people.

I suspect your friends like you for many reasons, and not JUST your cool head. But the problem is that you are seeing a momentary lapse as a make-it-or-break it kind of situation, where if just once you let down your guard and express true feelings, your life will be over, people will see you as totally irrational, etc. That is not true. Inferior Fe often thinks that their feelings are much more irrational and unstable and upsetting than they actually are to higher feeling types. They see a loss of control and stoicism as being “irrational” -- when your friends would probably just see it as a “bad day” or “legitimate feelings given the situation.” It’s important for you to separate what feels to you like “losing it” from how others are going to interpret it -- which is more than likely not a “big deal” in their mind, the way it feels like a big dealt to you. You are still going to BE logical. You will still BE rational, the other 23 hours a day. This won’t kick you off the cliff. It’s fine!

I never tried to “market” myself in any way, I’m usually just being myself, but people (who don’t know each other, so it’s not like it is only in eyes of one group) collectively branded me as “smart, cool and apathetic”, and if it turns out that I’m not like that, then I’m a fraud. Dumb part is that I don’t even consider myself these things. With every compliment I get on being level-headed, I feel more and more that I should keep up with what people think of me. And also, I’m afraid that after I finally show someone that weak side of me, I will be left behind because I will become a disappointment. Thanks.

No, people will just think of you as human. And since you are one, that’s not a bad thing at all. I do understand the attachment need to mold yourself into what others want from you ... but feelings are going to happen whether you admit to them or not, if you don’t make space for them in your life and learn to process, admit to, and deal with them, they will bubble up and cause real problems. You can still be level-headed and get upset. One doesn’t eradicate the other.

[elizaellwrites]

Legacy of the Fallen- Chapter 8

One more for the night...

Prologue

Chapter 1

Last Chapter

Table of Contents

The Traitor

Dear Mother,

The last few days at school have been so strange. Jacob is back after hearing his mum has gone missing, but he hasn’t been himself. He’s distant and almost cold, he usually doesn’t pay much attention to what the teacher is talking about, but he’s not even engaging with what’s going on in class anymore. I’m wondering if he’s going to decide to go home soon because being here isn’t doing him any good. It’s probably hurting him more, with most of our classmates either acting like he personally offended them, or they’re coddling him like a child. It’s ridiculous.

I don’t like that it was announced to our classes that this happened to him, it really should have been kept quiet between Jacob and whoever he chose to share it with. I feel like I shouldn’t know about this, much less the entire student population. He at least seems upset about it, but it’s hard to tell since he hasn’t really talked to any of us. It also seems like he and Asher had a fallout before everything happened since Asher is avoiding Jacob too. Friends are confusing sometimes, but I just feel so bad about everything going on.

I can’t shake the fact that Father knew Jacob’s parents, meaning you probably did too. It’s just such a huge coincidence, especially with how he is here for an exchange programme or something like that, while we just moved here and I have no idea when Father will decide to leave since Joseph is here. I’m not confident about the idea that Father won’t walk into my room and tell me that we’re going to be moving again to who knows where. I’ve gotten my hopes up before, and I know Father well enough to know that he likes to keep moving. My best guess is that we’ll be staying in Rochester for a little longer than usual, maybe closer to four months? Six months?

We will see how everything ends, and I will be okay with whatever it is. We’ve come this far, and as much as I like the people I’ve met here, it’s no different than before.

Annamarie Rose Olson

____________________________

Jol stood on the rock he had met the informant two days prior, his blood boiling in the anticipation of meeting the man again. Despite his superiors encouraging him to take the Hecathian’s offer, he couldn’t feel right about this situation. Why would he have reason to give information that would assist them in the destruction of his species?

The man made his skin crawl, even beyond the fact that he was Hecathian. Rinoas was no one to mess with, having a record of killing or driving those he didn’t see as useful to insanity. Anyone who actively sought him out, much less those making deals with the enemy to see him, he didn’t want to interact with.

He agreed with the queen about how valuable the offered information was, though he still could not understand her level of interest in the Allenesaia girl, nor why the man had known she had been searching for her.

Either way, he had risen while the sky was still dark, his path only lit by the magmatic cracks in the ground. His claws had begun to hurt from being extended in preparation for any sort of attack, whether from wild iruqo, or any other creature that would be out looking for food before the suns rose above the horizon.

He was completely unaware of the man’s presence until the slight sound of his boots hitting rock came from behind him. The unmistakable sound of one of the man’s bronze daggers being unsheathed sent Jol whirling around to face the threat, his wings spreading wide.

“Relax,” the man’s face was still covered, but Jol could hear the smirk in his voice as the dagger was flipped in one hand. “You didn’t think I’d come all the way here just to kill you, did you?"

Jol stifled the growl rising in his chest, his claws digging into the rock as he forced his wings to lower.

“Since you’re here, I’m assuming your queen has accepted my proposition,”  flipped the dagger once again. “It would be foolish for you to come here otherwise.”

His jaw locked in anger, his red eyes flashing in barely controlled rage. “Rinoas is waiting for you as soon as you give us the information you promised.”

“I know the deal,” the man slid the dagger back into its arm sheath. His dark eyes glinted, and the black mixed with evergreen made him uneasy, much like the queen’s advisor’s mixed irises. “Which information are you wanting first?”

“The Academy,” Jol said without hesitation, his eyes narrowing.

“Are we doing this here, or do we have others to meet?”  raised an eyebrow, a hand placed on his hip as he watched Jol for an answer.

“If you think I’m bringing you into our headquarters, then you underestimate how gullible we are.” Jol spat, his wings bristling behind him. “You have given no reason for any of us to trust you.”

“Right,” the man let out a bark of laughter. “And you’re not as dumb as I’ve led myself to believe, I remember.”

Jol couldn’t hold back the growl this time, the sound ripping through the air, silencing the Hecathian’s cackling. “Speak.”

He stood there for a moment, crossing his arms as he contemplated Jol, his hands suspiciously close to the hilts of the weapons he had already threatened him with twice before. “The Academy is on the brink of chaos, the only reason it hasn’t collapsed is because of the man who runs it and exploits it with a blade held to everyone’s throat. All it would take for it to fall is a blow that would finally turn the people’s loyalty away from him.”

Jol’s ears pricked at this information, his interest rising dramatically in what the small amount conveyed.

“He’s surrounded by loyalists, and I’m sure even you could figure out what happens to those who are vocal about their disagreements.” The man scoffed, one hand rising to brush his shoulder absently.

“And how is it that you know this?” Jol questioned. It was too sensitive to be common knowledge, it was highly likely that most living in the academy would buy into whatever the man said. It was common across many of the species he had come across, Hecathians wouldn’t be any different, even if they pretended they were.

The man’s eyes narrowed dangerously, his arms tightening against each other. “Why does it matter? You’re getting the information you want.”

Jol twitched at that, his curiosity about whom this man was rising despite his disdain for him.

“As for the location,” the man continued as if the question hadn’t been asked. “It is near a town called Rochester in the region of Minnesota, located in the United States on Earth. You want more specifics, you will have to find the boundary yourself, but you’ll have the entire remainder of an army on you in an instant.”

“It narrows down where we were looking,” Jol watched the man carefully. “But how do I know you’re being truthful in any of this?”

The man stared at him for a second, one eyebrow cocked. “I came here voluntarily, for my own reasons, to the homeworld of one of the species that was responsible for the destruction of my homeworld and the deaths of most of my people. What reason would I have to lie when anything here could just decide to kill me.” He raised both eyebrows, moving his hands back down to rest on his hips.

“Fair enough,” Jol huffed. It really would be the equivalent of him going to talk to a Hecathian right outside of the Academy borders for a parallel universe where he would give them information about his organization. It would be a death wish to lie, especially with a beast that could decide to just kill him for entertainment.

“As for Allenesaia,”  continued. “She’s in Rochester, they’re planning on sending in a retrieval team very soon to bring her and the others back to the Academy.” He had a strange look in his eye at that idea, though Jol couldn’t fathom why. “If you’re planning on taking her, you may want to do it sooner rather than later. One guardian, who isn’t even that old or experienced, is easier to take on than whatever will happen after they take her.”

The way he said that made Jol wonder, once again, who this girl was to pique such attention. What could one Hecathian really be worth?

“Now,” the man straightened his posture, standing even taller than before. “I’ve given you what I promised, now I want to see Rinoas.”

“Very well.”

____________________________

Jacob sat still as the dim light of the sunrise had just begun to appear outside his window beside him, indifferent to the fact that he had sat there, ruminating in his thoughts, instead of sleeping. He was surrounded by a familiar, yet uncomfortable room. The light green walls usually tuned out now gave him an almost nauseating reaction. He sat in the center of the large bed, facing the dresser that was pressed up against the opposite wall, his reflection meeting his gaze. It was the first time he had been able to look himself in the eyes since he had left home.

His eyes were sunken with exhaustion, his skin pale and sickly. He had barely slept since hearing the news, the grief and mental images haunting him until he passed out, forcing him to sleep.

He was filled with more fury than sadness, more than he had felt in a long time. He knew that his mom was gone, he didn’t need the confirmation that so many kept telling him they didn’t have. Like his mom would have left anyone without a word when she wouldn’t even go to work without saying goodbye to everyone in the house, whether they were family or not.

No. He knew exactly what happened, and for the first time since he had come to Rochester, he wanted to go home. As much as he dreaded facing everything that came with going back, he needed to get answers. He knew his days were limited here anyway, especially with his call last week.

He closed his stinging eyes, leaning his chin against his propped-up knee. His whole body ached, screaming in protest at his decision to move. He could feel his body’s need to sleep, but he knew he needed to be at school. In this instance, he wished he could be like his father, being able to sleep amid any dire situation, no matter the context. That was as far as wanting to be like his father went.

He cautiously stretched his limbs, sucking in a breath at the clenching pain in his calves. Through his door, he could faintly hear the TV playing in the dining room, knowing it was Joseph fulfilling his daily habit of watching the news. Charlotte wouldn’t be up for another hour before they would both head to work while he was already halfway through his first class of the day.

He wished he could just curl into a ball and never move again, while at the same time wanting to take a knife and throw it at the wall. His sleep deprivation and days of internalizing his anger were draining him. There was only one other time he had felt like this before, and that was a time he wanted to forget more than anything else in his life. The rage, the guilt, and the grief overwhelmed his senses. He wanted to get as far away from it as he could, but this time, there was no scenario where that was possible.

Going back to school had been like being on autopilot, the classes, and hallways a blur as his thoughts simultaneously shut down and took over at once. His classmates had somehow heard about what had happened, most likely for sensitivity reasons, but it was annoying. He didn’t like talking to most of them, the majority made judgments about him for ignoring them, and didn’t pay any attention to him until they now had a reason to pity him. The way they treated him like he was made of glass, or those whom he knew were judging him for his masculinity just stared at him while he couldn’t care less about how he came across, he just wanted them to go back to ignoring his existence. It made everything so much easier.

His friends had been okay, there was a difference in how they talked to him, but he knew they actually cared instead of that fake sympathy. Rachel had no idea how to talk to him, so she just acted normally, which he appreciated. Ben was providing the silent support that he had always done, just more engaged than before. Anna was awkward, but he knew it was because of her naivete and presence in the office.

Asher was a different story, his interactions distant and uncharacteristic. He was among those giving those judgmental glances, his voice harsher when speaking to him. He had clocked Asher as someone who didn’t give such harsh judgments, someone who had pulled him aside to ask him if he was okay on multiple occasions just because he was being quieter. It made him wonder what was going on in his life, but he wasn’t going to ask.

He couldn’t remember if there was something due today, but he didn’t care either. He had only enjoyed school since it had provided him the means of finding a distraction and allowed him to talk to people that made him feel normal for once. Now, it did neither of those things, making it obsolete in his daily activities.

Jacob sighed, swinging his legs off the side of the bed, and rubbing his right eye absently. The sky was lightening to a hazy gold outside, the sounds of traffic picking up on the nearby highway. His being a night owl, slow to wake up in the morning, wasn’t helping in this situation. His sister could easily wake up at four or five in the morning and immediately start the day; it wasn’t fair.

He pushed himself to his feet, feeling his weight pressing down on his still half-asleep legs. He trudged his way over to the dresser, pulling open one of the drawers to reveal the black tee shirt he wanted to wear. He traded it for the plain white shirt he usually wore to bed, pulling his favorite black jacket overtop. He knew it was too hot now for long sleeves, but he really didn’t care much, it was cooler in the school anyway.

He shoved off the light gray sweatpants in exchange for his roughed-up blue jeans; there were no holes yet, but he was pushing his luck. His eyes fell on the golden rod on the top of the dresser, a gift he didn’t deserve. He lifted it in his hand anyway, the solid metal heavy in his hand. He tightened his grip on it, fighting the temptation to leave it behind.

He closed his eyes for a moment before shoving it in his pocket, not pausing to debate further, he grabbed socks that he wasn’t sure matched or not and rolled them onto his feet.

He left his room, heading straight for the door. He had no desire to eat anything. The last time he had tried, he barely ate any before he had begun to feel nauseous. He shoved his feet into his combat boots, kneeling to tie them tight until his feet felt like they were being suffocated by a boa.

He reached for his bag, not making a sound as he went toward the door. He wasn’t trying to avoid Jisuph, but he didn’t want to talk to him either. He had had enough of the older man checking in on if he was okay, the answer hadn’t changed: he wasn’t.

He closed the front door behind him, knowing that Jisuph heard it, but would just leave him to make his way to school in peace now that he was out of the house. If Jelare was awake, she would have dragged him back in to stuff something in his face for breakfast.

He took a deep breath, turning to follow the street toward the school. He was forever grateful that during his time in Rochester, he had remained close enough to everything that he could easily walk about anywhere.

As he passed each house, he wondered how many days he had left of making this path. He had started this journey six months prior and had felt free and normal for the first time in his life. Now the clock was ticking louder each day, reminding him that he was going home. He would see his friends, his sisters, and his father, but not his mom. The only person who had consistently shown him love and listened to what he had to say was gone. His mom had arranged the opportunity for him to leave home and experience something different at a time he couldn’t bear to be in the same place he always had been.

He wasn’t sure if home would be home with only her memory present.

____________________________

Anna’s gaze flicked up from her lunch, today being a bag of crisps with ground beef dumped haphazardly inside, to look at Jacob across the table. He had just sat there, staring at his food without touching it since he had sat down over ten minutes ago. It was beginning to become unnerving, him barely moving as his golden eyes were locked on the abomination of a meal that had been served to them that day.

She could see how tense his muscles were, even with the table cutting off most of his body. His eyebrows were furrowed in deep thought, his mouth curved in a fed-up frown. One could mistake it as him being offended by the food, but she knew better.

The entire table was strangely silent, the banter between any of them absent while they picked at their food. Even Rachel was quiet, her dark eyes darting from person to person as she bit into the sandwich she had managed to pick up by making it to the lunchroom early enough. Asher was sitting further away from them than he had before, shooting borderline harsh glances toward Jacob.

Anna drummed her fingers on her thigh, her foot itching to begin tapping on the tile under her shoes. She took her plastic fork, scooping some of the crisps and beef into her mouth, only to be assaulted by the amount of salt that was in that small amount of food. She chewed and swallowed it quickly, taking a large gulp from her water bottle to wash the flavour away; it only worked halfway.

A heavy breath directed her gaze back to Jacob, he had moved to grip the edge of the table, his arms tense. This wasn’t what caught her attention, however. His normally rich golden eyes which resembled a light brown on occasion, now sparked with a familiar-looking light.

Her eyes went wide, her breath leaving her as she stared at the boy. It was identical to the light she had seen in her own eyes that night in her uncle’s loo.

His intense gaze shot up to meet hers, causing her to blink in reaction to the direct light. In an instant, Jacob pushed himself up from the bench, swinging his legs over and immediately making his way out the doors on the far side of the cafeteria.

Anna just sat there for a moment before her muscles jumped into action. She followed his actions, ignoring the confused exclamation from Rachel behind her. She caught the door as it was closing, carelessly shoving it to hit the hinge. Her pulse rang in her ears, her thoughts fixated on the answer that was just out of sight.

Ahead of her, she could see him slow by the lone tree, just to the side of the small blacktop. He stood tense, looking over to the road across the field where she could see the normal movement of traffic and people getting out of cars. She continued toward him, her nerves spiking as she approached his now-frozen form.

Even as she moved into position beside him, her eyes burning into him, he just stood there, his eyes distant, looking straight ahead with an emotion that rivaled dread.

Anna could vaguely hear the tell-tale sounds of three sets of footsteps approaching, no doubt Rachel, Ben, and Asher. She followed Jacob’s gaze, finding a plain tan minivan at the end, with four people unloading the trunk. She looked back at him, confused at what he found so horrifying about such a sight. Behind her, she could hear Asher make some sort of coughing sound.

Jacob’s eyes were almost forcibly dragged away from the road, turning to meet her stare with his now dimly lit eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, but no sound came out. She could hear that now familiar voice in her mind, though this time there were no distinguishable words, rather just a mess of a thousand statements all placed on top of one another. He took a step forward, toward the field of open grass, his eyes moving back to focus on the group now beginning to move toward the school.

In a blur of motion, Jacob was suddenly knocked forward, the boy seamlessly rolling free of the disruption before spinning back to face his assaulter. Anna stumbled back as she watched Asher loom over where Jacob had stood, his expression of seething rage out of place on the normally jovial boy.

Her legs had a mind of their own as she slowly began to back away, her eyes watching Jacob’s bright, narrowed eyes as he crouched in a clear defensive position. She was just barely aware of the other students around them directing their attention to what was going on.

“You really are pathetic,” Asher’s voice came out more of a growl than speaking. “A poor little boy, sniveling while pretending to care about anyone besides yourself.” He lunged forward, kicking out toward Jacob’s centre in a clearly practiced manner.

Jacob dodged, rolling to the side in an equally smooth action. His face was blank in focus, his body moving seamlessly out of a crouch to lunge at his attacker, grabbing Asher’s upper body and flipping him over to slam the other boy into the ground with an arm pressed over his chest. “You don’t want to do this,” he warned through his gritted teeth.

“I think I do,” he spat out with a level of animosity Anna couldn’t understand. She could have blinked and missed how Asher kicked Jacob’s legs from under him, turning the tables and grabbing him by the throat with a snarl.

By now, the fight was turning the heads of nearby students, and a teacher on the far side of the blacktop beginning to head over to the action. Though they were out of view from the cafeteria windows, some people had begun to leave the building to see what was happening outside. Jacob and Asher, too focused on each other, didn’t acknowledge the building’s attention.

Jacob lifted his head against the pressure, bashing his skull against Asher’s face; the latter reeling back with a hand against his now bleeding nose. He rubbed a hand against his neck, coughing once with a glare that could have drawn blood on its own. He pushed himself up to his feet, standing tall over Asher on the ground.

Jacob’s gold eyes were alight with darkness and danger that made her want to turn and run. He looked almost feral while he pushed his hair away from his face, his breath heavier than usual. “Yield,” he growled.

“Why would I do that?” Asher grinned, rising to a more upright position before springing back up to his feet. “You are a coward,” he hissed, eyes flashing.

Jacob narrowed his eyes further, one hand itching to his side as they stared each other down. “And you are not who you present yourself to be,” he muttered out, much to Anna’s confusion.

Asher grinned, though it wasn’t the toothy smile she had seen him do before. It sent a chill down her spine, his eyes full of hatred and his grin speaking threats that she couldn’t fully understand. It was then that his form lit a pale green haze, growing bigger and transforming to grow elongated and lizard-like with long legs that’s claws dug deep into the earth. His skin darkened, shifting from smooth pale beige to haunting yellow-green scales. Then his head began to rearrange itself, his neck stretching while its skull appeared to split into thirds, the sides of his head peeling off to copy the reptilian head in the centre.

Anna felt her stomach stir in a mixture of horror and disgust at the scene in front of her. On the other side of the creature, she could see Rachel and Ben frozen in twin stances of disbelief. Meanwhile, Jacob was unfazed, his hand buried in his pocket as he stared down the beast.

“You know,” Jacob’s eyes sparked with what could only be described as delighted rage. “I’ve really been waiting for this.” He removed his hand from his pocket, a small golden rod gripped in his hand. If she blinked, she would have missed how the small bit of gold in his hand expanded. The tip sharpened, shooting out to create a blade as long as her arm. The hilt blackened around the large red gem at the centre, curving back around his hand to arc in a way reminiscent of a crescent moon, similar black markings trailing up the blade to the very tip.

Around them, the students that had gathered to watch the fight now ran away, some screaming, while others ran in panicked silence. Even the teacher, who had been approaching with a hard look on his face, was rooted in fear. Anna could feel her own terror building, but she couldn’t bring herself to run. Rachel and Ben stood together on the other side of the action, Rachel gripping Ben’s arm with wide eyes as they too, stood frozen.

The monster recoiled, a loud hiss erupting through the schoolyard. Its six slanted green eyes regarded its opponent, the head on the right opening its mouth to reveal the many rows of ridged, jagged teeth. It lunged at Jacob with its left head, teeth snapping while he whirled to the side, cutting a stripe in the side of its elongated neck with his blade.

A high-pitched scream rang out of all of its heads, the middle immediately dipping under the left to strike at Jacob. Unprepared, Jacob attempted to block the attack but was still knocked back, landing beside Anna. His gaze went to hers after a split second, widening once recognition set in. “Get out of here!” He snapped, his tone harsh, but holding panic as well.

She barely managed a nod, swallowing and edging to her left while Jacob pushed himself up once again, spinning his blade in his hand in preparation for the next attack. Her brain was screaming at her legs to move, yet they didn’t, watching in stunned horror as the beast swung at Jacob with its front claws this time, his blade catching them before they struck. An ugly scraping noise grated her teeth when he pulled it free, the beast whipping its tail in frustration.

It turned as Jacob dove to the side, managing to slice through its defences again. The creature roared in pain, ringing out across the schoolyard, and echoing off the side of the building. Anna’s breath hitched in panic as the large tail lashed out, its approach towards her fast and unavoidable.

It slammed into her shoulder, the force knocking her to the ground with a yelp of pained surprise. Her head bounced off the ground on impact, her breath escaping her as she tried to reorient herself.

Another roar ripped through the air, Anna blinking up blurrily to see what was happening. There, lodged in its right head, a large silver arrow glinted in the midday sun.

She stared in uncomprehending confusion for a moment, before another whiz of an arrow buzzed through the air, this one hitting right beside the other, prompting another scream from the creature. She followed the invisible line the arrow had made, landing on four approaching figures that she vaguely recognised as having been across the field before the fighting had started.

In the back of the group was a blond boy, lowering a large silver bow that was almost the same height as him. He was in all black, so dark it appeared to swallow the light from around him, even his hands being covered in gloves that only exposed his fingers.

Ahead of him, his companions continued to approach, wearing the same black clothing that appeared to swallow the light around them. Her eyes were drawn to the tall albino girl in the front of the group, obviously close to six feet tall, with a sword in her hands that spanned most of that height. The girl’s colourless eyes glinted with the same chilling rage as Jacob’s, though accompanied by a chilling smirk upon her lips, sharp black markings stood out on her face, while something glinted in the sun atop her snow-white hair. Without hesitation, she threw herself at the beast, slamming the tip of her blade straight down into the top of its clawed foot.

The other two had skidded to a stop, exchanging words just outside of the perceived danger zone. Both had dark skin, but the similarities stopped there. The girl was facing away from her, but her short and small frame screamed child; making the sharpened spear strapped across her back seem even more out of place. Her rich brown hair was pulled back in a wavy ponytail, yet still fell to her lower back, the shade only slightly darker than her tawny skin. She was dwarfed by her companion, having to tilt her head back to look him in the face.

He was the oldest in the group, most likely already graduated from high school. He was over six feet tall, with angular features that didn’t belong to any single heritage. His angular, dark eyes darted about, almost calm even as Jacob and the albino girl were waging war against the large creature, cutting streaks down the side of the monster that continued to snap at them with its two good heads.

Meanwhile, the blond boy had slung his bow over his shoulder and had begun moving toward the lone tree, where Rachel and Ben had moved. While she watched him go, she was vaguely aware of the tall boy taking off in the direction of the cafeteria doors. The blond grabbed each of them by the arm, his mouth moving in words she was too far away to hear. Neither Rachel nor Ben could be described as particularly strong, but the same could not be said for Rachel’s attitude as his touch sent her elbow into his gut and her knee to be shoved into the one place no one wanted a knee to go.

The boy’s pained yelp was a mouse squeak under another roar from the beast, the albino girl perched on its back with her sword buried halfway into its rough skin. Jacob had slid under its body, slicing at its legs and vulnerable underside. He regained his balance on the other side of the creature, only to have its clawed foot slam into him from behind, sending him flying, his sword falling to the ground. The albino girl called something out, pushing down harder on the blade in retaliation.

Anna’s eyes bounced between the multiple events happening around her, her mind trying to comprehend as the world she had known turned inside out before her. She didn’t acknowledge the short girl, who had moved to her side, just as the blond, who was getting back to his feet, had gone to Rachel and Ben.

“Come on,” Her features still held the innocence of a child, her vivid green gaze holding the same innocence. She was most likely a couple of years younger than her, maybe even more. It was almost calming in the pandemonium around them. “We need to go.”

Anna’s focus was drawn back to the monster as a click and an inhuman scream rang out. The albino girl had a satisfied look on her face as she pulled the sword out of the beast’s back, standing as she did so. Anna’s mouth opened in horror and disgust as the flesh around where the blade had gone in began to fold back and rip as curved spikes that Anna definitely didn’t remember being there were revealed with a coat of blood and bits of flesh hanging from them.

It was, without a doubt, the most terrible thing she had witnessed in her life up to this point. The creature swayed, the girl somehow keeping her balance. Anna’s ears echoed with the anguished noises that it made as it struggled to stay on its feet, her body beginning to shake as her legs threatened to give out from under her.

A yellow glow flashed out across the schoolyard then, all signs that a monster had been before them disappearing in an instant as the albino girl plummeted to the ground with her now clean sword still in hand.

Everyone was still then, the only sound being the police sirens that rang out over the city. Jacob hadn’t moved from where he had landed down the hill, but she somehow knew that he was still alive. The tall boy had returned at some point, his breaths coming fast as he scanned the aftermath of what had occurred, looking just as confused as the rest of them.

“We need to go now,” the tall boy managed. “Elaine, grab Jacob. Take them to the van,” he gestured around. “I wasn’t able to get the other, security is too tight. We’ll have to come back for him.”

The three strangers gave their acknowledgments, beginning to do as they were told. Anna shivered as she felt eyes on her again, almost like something was prodding at the edges of her consciousness. She looked around, trying to identify what was causing the feeling. The short girl grabbed her arm, trying to pull her in the direction of the others. Her line of sight lifted to the roof of the school three stories up, a dark figure visible against a grouping of clouds that was passing over. She hissed, ducking her face as a spike of pain drove into her head, but once she looked up again after the pain passed, the shadow was gone.

Behind her, she could hear people speaking, but the words blended while her eyes darted to look for what she had seen. Her eyebrows furrowed, her muscles tense. She reached out with her mind, the way she had in the loo. She winced again, though this time it was from the sheer amount of noise that entered her mind.

Both her hands pressed against her temples, she knew her eyes were glowing gold, though concealed as she closed her eyes. She tried to focus on each individual voice at a time, but it was too much. They shifted constantly, words blending, pictures of faces that were vaguely familiar flashing behind her eyelids, darkened classrooms with students hidden under their desks, a toilet stall with its single occupant breathing short and fast as he stood atop the toilet seat to hide his feet from an unseen threat. She could physically feel so many sensations. Hands on her shoulders, the fabric of a skirt she wasn’t wearing fluttering against her thighs, the cramping leg muscles from crouching in a confined position, and the ache of a freshly bruised leg. Emotions cycled through her, anger, fear, worry, confusion, acceptance, bloodlust, frustration, determination, shock… 

It was consuming her, surrounding her as she cowered in a crouch on the grass. She couldn’t tell if she was screaming or if it was someone else doing so, the sound piercing through the others, the tell-tale burn in her throat. It was impossible to distinguish what was real, even when her heart leapt in her chest at the sensation of being lifted off the ground.

She opened her eyes, revealing the ground five or six metres down. It took her a moment to comprehend the large claws wrapped around her torso, turning her gaze up to the large four-legged beast lifting her into the air. Rather than the feathers one would expect, this creature’s legs and curled paws were coated in fine, silky brown fur. Its body hunched over her, the head a bizarre mix between a bat and one of a small wildcat. The wings stretched out of its back, each wing three times the width of the creature itself, tan skin stretched out, its greenish veins visible in its naked state.

She screamed once her brain had caught up with what was happening, thrashing in the creature’s grip as they continued to rise. An arrow whizzed by, sending her panic even higher. She could feel something building inside her, though it barely registered as they crossed the school field.

She kicked and punched at its legs, stopping only when she saw the haze of a glow that was beginning to become familiar. She closed her eyes, reaching inward to that power she knew she had in her. At this moment, it didn’t matter that she didn’t know what it was, or why she had it. It didn’t matter that she had no idea how they worked or how to even use or control them.

She felt heat across her body, a deafening bang as her body dropped. Even with her eyes closed tight she could see the bright light that was visible even in daylight. She felt herself falling, her body going limp as it plummeted toward the grass below. She didn’t open her eyes, nor did she make a sound until she hit the ground.

Next Chapter

Taglist: @hxad-ovxr-hxart, @the-printed-words, @frostedlemonwriter, @on-noon, @my-cursed-prince, @thesorcererspen, and @avocado-frog. If you'd like to be added or removed from the taglist, please let me know!

[ykoriana-imperatrix]

SDC Month - December 2022 - Monday #3

Will today be the day I express a truly controversial opinion? (Probably not. But it is the day I express a not-of-essay-length one, which is at least good for variety.)

The by now familiar disclaimer: please avoid this post if you think there is the slightest chance it might legitimately offend/anger/otherwise upset you. If that's the case, I'm sure there is other, better SDC content for you out there, perhaps even in this very blog.

(Cut for content and some spoilers, even if they’re not that explicitly elaborated upon.)

My unpopular opinion for today, which curiously, happens to be more of a wish-type opinion than a complaint/vent-type one: I would actually be more interested in getting to see characters from new Houses in the prequel than from those we are already familiar with.

Yes, I am aware of the fact that Masks characters being involved is a given, since the for-now-still-hypothetical prequel focuses on the intra-Masks Civil War. Since the Masks being in focus is an actual fact that cannot be avoided, I did mostly mean Houses of the Great when referring to those we had pre-existing familiarity with. (The Lesser Chosen barely feature in the main SDC, so of course I'd be delighted at getting to see more of them — but in all honesty, literally any of the 320 Lesser Chosen Houses that could make an appearance in the prequel (if that happens) would effectively be "new", since we never learn the name of a single one in the main series, not even those of the Legates who briefly appear as minor characters.)

And yes, I can hear @suth-sardian's outraged cry of “you mean you don't want to see more of House Suth?!” in my mind already. It's not that — I actually would enjoy seeing more of them in other potential works set in the SDC universe regardless of era... but frankly, considering we only have characters with at least minimal levels of development from 4 (5 if you count Cumulus, but I barely do myself; the Ruling Lord Cumulus from canon appears in all of one scene and Carnelian never pays much attention to him even then) Houses of the Great, I would just like to see (some of) the others be given their chance in the limelight, you know? There are over 70 Houses (well, there might have been fewer or more during the Civil War era, but surely a few tens even back then) we know basically nothing about beyond the fact they exist, and judging by SDC, we might not see characters from that many (understandable to a degree; too many Houses and characters can create excessive confusion and draw away from the plot/themes) in this prequel. So yes, if we’re most likely going to see characters from a limited number of Houses, I would much rather have those not be part of the same 4 we already know.

Additionally, while I do still genuinely think all the Houses of the Great we see in main SDC are interesting and that even the less-developed characters (could) have potential intriguing characteristics and backstories, I also believe bringing back too many already well-known characters/families is often a crutch for prequels (and works set within any specific universe, really) in general. This prequel, if it ever materialises, will already be a story set in a completely different era, with a society undoubtedly very distinct from the post-Balance one we see in canon (and we do already have a character familiar to us in Legions, at the very least — can’t that one link between past and present/future be enough?); why not have this brand-new, uncharted territory aspect extend to the Chosen Houses and characters featuring in it?

[ramblingsofafanatic]

I Know You - Chapter 5

Please see the series Masterlist for more details!

Chapter Word Count: 3907

The Empire isn’t far from gone yet and the rebels still have quite a bit further to go. When they get back on base Kallus is brought up to date on what happened as he and Zeb were on Lira San. He gets back into work but now it’s interspersed with meals with Zeb and the other spectres. He was right that being back on base has made it easier to ignore any feelings he has for Zeb, but Zeb is still around enough to ensure Kallus knows he's wanted as a friend. 

He's also kept in contact with Bas, not that she made it seem like an option when she gave him her comm. They talk enough that Kallus has come to consider her a friend as well. A long distance friend, but a friend nonetheless. She also doesn't hold his past against him, explaining that to most lasats, a person's present self is much more important than anything in the past. People grow and change, and the Ashla forgives.

Bas, he has learned, has no filter. Must be why her friends sent her to talk with him, she has not one ounce of shame in her body. She has no issues talking about lasat culture and her experiences from both her past on Lasan and her recent time on Lira San. She also helps him practice his Lasana when Zeb starts teaching him, but she does it with more playful mocking and cooing at his attempts to pronounce things than Zeb does.

She’s also been very forward in telling tales of her love life, sometimes getting a bit carried away. Kallus didn’t know where the story was going the first time but has since gotten much better at stopping Bas before she gets too far into the details.

“And then afterwards we went back to the room she was staying at and she does this thing with her tongue where-”

“Bas, please! I don’t need all the details on your date last night!” Kallus replies, laughing slightly. He really

“But I was just getting to the good part!” She says.

“I’m sure it was great for you, doesn’t mean I wanna hear the details.”

“You’re just upset because you’re not getting any.” Bas huffs.

“I’m perfectly fine without it, I already told you it was never really my thing” Kallus replies, and it’s true, up until he met Zeb those things never entered his head. Flirting and superficial things is something he got used to in the academy and later it was useful in the ISB, but thoughts of anything more or serious is new and honestly kind of scary. 

He was ridiculed for it as a kid, it's not safe to be different in the lower levels of Coruscant. He asked his mother once if he was defective, and she told him that it may come later or may never come at all but that no matter what happens he isn’t broken. He remembers wishing that he could just be like everyone else, but now that stuff is changing he feels anything but relief.

“Yea yea, I know, but I’ve also been in the same room as you and Zeb so” Bas replies. She’s been supportive, but they’ve also come to a compromise that even if he doesn’t feel it, his pheromones decided he did. Kallus doesn’t understand it, but that doesn’t stop him from using this excuse to hide behind and avoid confronting whatever the fuck is going on.

“If you say so” Kallus says with a shrug, smiling slightly as Bas huffs out something in Lasana under her breath, he can’t hear what she’s saying but he can picture the erratic waving that would accompany it. They’re interrupted by Kallus’ comm pinging.

“Ah speaking of Zeb, he’s out of debriefing.” Kallus says as he reads the message out loud.

“Yea okay, go enjoy time with your lover boy, tell him I said hi!” Bas says before they say goodbye and Kallus shoots a message back to Zeb saying he’ll be ready in 10.

-

“How was the mission?” Kallus asks as he gets to the clearing they’ve been using for their sparring matches.

“Like you don’t already know.” Zeb replies.

“Would still like to hear it from you.” Kallus shrugs.

“Boring, not one bucket head to crush” Zeb says.

“How unfortunate.” Kallus rolls his eyes.

“It was!! Now let's get this started.” Zeb moves to one side of the clearing and crouches into a ready stance. Kallus doesn’t reply, just moves into a ready stance himself across from Zeb. 

They go on for almost an hour, equally matched, Kallus relishes in sparring with Zeb for fun and practice instead of actively trying to kill each other. It's Zeb that calls it off, and Kallus looks at him in confusion.

"Your leg is starting to bother you" Zeb explains.

"No it's not?" Kallus' confusion deepens.

"Yea, it is, you started favouring your other one" Zeb says.

"But it feels fine."

"Does it actually?" 

"Yes!" Kallus honestly doesn’t know where this is coming from, he feels fine.

"Mmm, still no point in pushing it, c'mon let's go eat something." Zeb says.

"Sure, I'll go shower and then meet you at the cafe." Kallus replies as they start making their way back to the main base.

"Shower?" 

"Yea, we just sparred for an hour Zeb, I smell" 

"Not to me" Zeb shrugs.

"Well to everyone else, and myself, I do."

"Fine" Zeb says.

"See you soon," Kallus says as they part ways. 

"See ya," Zeb replies before Kallus heads off towards his room and Zeb heads towards the cafe.

Halfway to his quarters, as the small bit of adrenaline from sparring mellows out, Kallus started to feel his leg getting sore. Maybe Zeb was right to call things off, not that Kallus would ever admit it.

He hops in the sonic before getting on a new set of clothes and heading back out to meet Zeb. When he gets there Zeb isn't hard to pick out from the crowd. Zeb looks up and waves at him and Kallus smiles in return before heading in his direction but pauses when he sees one of the new pilots are sitting with Zeb. He doesn't want to ruin Zeb's social life because Zeb was stupid enough to forgive him, he doesn't deserve that. He shakes it off and continues to head towards the table, Zeb already saw him, there's no point in running now, just say hi and then leave them to it.

Kallus reaches the table and the pilot looks up at him with a glare as Zeb greets him warmly. 

"Sorry, am I interrupting? I can go-" Kallus says. Zeb's ear flatten in confusion.

"No" Zeb says at the same time the pilot says "Yes". Zeb side eyes the pilot.

"I was waiting for you, sit down." Zeb says, Kallus hesitates for a second before taking a seat across from Zeb and the pilot.

"Hi" Kallus greets, nodding in the pilots direction with a polite smile. They roll their eyes and stand.

"I guess I'll see you later, Zeb." The pilot says as they pat Zeb's arm and send another glare in Kallus' direction before walking off.

"What was that about?" Zeb asks.

"I told you, not everyone likes me, I was a part of everything they stand against, it makes sense." Kallus says as if it was obvious.

"But-"

"I did bad things, people have the right to hate me." Kallus cuts him off.

"But you-" 

"Zeb, it's fine, promise, I'm sorry I interrupted you guys." Kallus says.

"It was nothing important," Zeb says.

"Still, you know you don't have to-" Kallus starts, but this time he's the one to be cut off.

"I like hanging out with you." Zeb says, and Kallus sighs. This conversation doesn't seem to change no matter how many times they have it.

"Right, shall we grab food?" Kallus says, changing the subject is his best bet of not facing a standstill right now.

"Sure" Zeb says, smiling and standing as he gestures for Kallus to lead the way.

-

Later after Kallus and Zeb part from each other and Kallus heads off to the intelligence office, he's stopped by that new pilot and a few of their friends. He recognizes a few faces from intelligence, but doesnt know any of their names.

They corner him and make it very clear that he's to stop going near Zeb. Kallus scoffs at first but with some more… physical arguments from their side, Kallus gives up on trying to reason with them. Watching them waltz off with glee. Their friends take it upon themselves to rough Kallus up a bit more before also leaving.

As he's left there in the dark corridor he tries to figure out how in the world he's gonna avoid Zeb when it's never worked before. That new pilot made it very clear he wasn't supposed to tell anyone.

He sighs and gets up to continue on to intelligence, he'll figure it out later. The pilot and their friends were smart enough to keep the beatings to places that would remain hidden, so at least there's no need to worry about having to make excuses.

-

"Hey Zeb!" A voice calls out. Zeb turns from where he was working on repairing the Ghost to see that it's that new pilot, Ryan, again, Zeb smiles at them.

"You got plans tonight?" They ask.

"I don't know, haven't asked Kal yet." Zeb shrugs.

"Oh, didn't you hear? Kallus is busy working on a big new assignment in intelligence for the evening."

"Where did you hear about this?" Zeb asks, they're a rookie pilot they shouldn't have tabs on what Kal's up to.

"Christine told me," Ryan shrugs.

"Oh, then I guess I don't really have plans." Zeb says slowly.

"Want to get dinner together then? Since we got interrupted earlier" They ask.

"Sure." Zeb says, making a mental note to swing by intelligence with some food for Kal after dinner, he knows the other will forget if he's got a new case.

"Great! See you then!"

-

If it wasn't made clear earlier, Ryan definitely made their distaste for Kallus clear at dinner. Asking Zeb outright if they could not talk about him and focus on other topics instead after Zeb mentioned him for the 3rd time.

"If you wanna be friends with me you gotta accept that Kal is also my friend, and I don't take kindly to people bad mouthing my friends" Zeb says, fur around his neck ruffling as his temper starts to rise.

"Right, okay, sorry, I won't bring it up again" Ryan says, smiling placatingly. Zeb settles and they move on to talk about other things. Zeb notices the shift change as a large percentage of the cafe empties out and is replaced by a new stream coming in. Ryan and him say their goodbyes before Zeb heads off to grab some food for Kallus. He grabs some of the dried fruit he knows Kallus likes and heads off towards the intelligence office.

He gets there to see Kallus at his desk, he's going over something but doesn't seem stressed over it like he would be if it was a big assignment  like Ryan suggested.

He heads over and sets the dried fruit next to Kallus on the desk. Kallus looks at it, then up at Zeb, before quickly casting his gaze around the room. He seems panicked, which confuses Zeb.

"Uh, Zeb, hi" Kallus mumbles, glancing once again at some intelligence officers sitting in the corner pretending to not be watching.

"Hey, Ryan said you guys had a new assignment," Zeb says.

"Wh- Oh yes, yes just came in not that long ago" Kallus fumbles and Zeb squints his eyes at him. Kallus is a horrible liar when he's nervous, which isn't generally an issue because there aren't many things that make Kallus nervous, but now something is and Zeb doesn't know what.

"Something wrong?" Zeb asks quietly, glancing around the room himself.

"No, everything's fine, just a bit tired is all" Kallus says. 

"Maybe you should take a break then?" Zeb offers.

"Not yet, almost done with this, thank you." Kallus says, glancing at the two intelligence officers who are now openly watching what's happening.

"I can wait?" Zeb offers, he needs to know what's happening. He has a rising suspicion it has something to do with Ryan but no proof quite yet.

"No, it's fine, I promise I'll head to bed as soon as I'm done this." Kallus says with a tight smile, Kallus looks up and Zeb gets the hint. Whatever it is that's bothering Kallus is being made worse by Zeb's presence. Zeb doesn't like it, but concedes since he has no idea what else to do.

"Okay, see ya tomorrow?"

"Sure." Kallus says. Zeb leaves the intelligence office with so many questions and no idea where to start on getting answers.

-

Kallus relaxes slightly when Zeb finally leaves, looking back at his desk to see the food Zeb brought him. He smiles when he sees the dried fruit he told Zeb he really liked. His smile falters when the fruit is snatched off his desk by one of the pilots' - Ryan apparently - friends, they don't do anything else other than glare as they retreat back to their own station with the food in hand. It could be worse.

-

This continues for a few days, Kallus trying to avoid Zeb and being punished everytime Zeb approaches him. He can continue to brush him off, he can continue to claim he's busy, but he can't stop Zeb from coming to him. He's just started to anticipate having anything Zeb brings him taken away and the beatings in dark corners around base. It’s not like he can do anything, Ryan was smart enough to threaten just Kallus’ well-being.

He's starting to believe that maybe he does deserve this. That maybe it's actually a good thing that there is now someone to remind him that he doesn't deserve Zeb. It saves himself from getting lost in fantasies and having to break himself back into reality. He knows Zeb would disagree and scold him for having such thoughts, but that doesn't stop them from coming.

From what Kallus has heard Ryan has gotten good at taking Zeb's mind away from Kallus and back onto themselves. So Zeb is spending more time with Ryan, and that makes Ryan happy which means that Kallus is left alone more. Especially as Zeb is given less and less opportunities to seek Kallus out - Ryan must have figured out that Zeb wouldn't stop approaching Kallus on his own whenever he could.

Kallus gets assigned a mission with the Ghost crew. He has no say in it but Ryan doesn't seem to care. Their friends give Kallus enough bruises to last him the expected duration of the mission.

"You're injured," Kanan says as Kallus makes it to the bottom of the ramp. 

"Hm?" 

"You're injured." Kanan repeats more firmly, Kallus doesn't know how Kanan knows, probably something to do with the force.

"Not severely, I will be able to carry out the mission with no issues." Kallus replies.

"Was it those-"

"Kanan, please, don't." Kallus says softly. Kanan stumbled upon one of Ryan's 'meetings' with Kallus two days ago. He wanted so badly for Kallus to tell someone and get help, but Kallus made him promise not to say anything. He didn’t offer an elaboration on why he couldn’t say anything and Kanan luckily didn’t ask.

"You can't keep letting them do this to you." Kanan insists.

"I don't have another choice, believe me I looked for one" Kallus replies. Kanan sighs.

"We'll talk later" Kanan says as Zeb comes into view carrying a crate of supplies from the hangar.

"Hey Kal!" Zeb says cheerfully as he drops the crate in the cargo hold.

"Hello Zeb." Kallus says.

"What were you and Kanan going on about?"

"Oh nothing important, just last minute stuff about the mission." Kallus answers.

"Okay." Zeb shrugs. "I get top bunk" He adds and Kallus smiles as Hera calls out for people to wrap things up as they'll be heading out in 15 minutes. Kallus gets to work helping prepare for take off.

-

"Again?" Hera says from the pilot's seat

"Yes, I don't know what to do, he made me promise not to tell anyone." Kanan sighs.

"You told me." Hera points out.

"You don't count." 

"I don't count?" 

"Wait- not- you DO count! I meant, I-"

"Relax, I know." Hera smirks and Kanan relaxes back in his seat.

"Just tell Zeb. I will if you won't" Hera adds.

"It's not that easy,"

"Sure it is, you think those kids are going to be able to get anywhere near Kallus to fulfill those threats if Zeb knew what was happening?"

"No." 

"So tell him," Hera says. Kanan opens his mouth to reply before he feels a ripple of anger move throughout the ship.

"I think he just found out for himself." Kanan says.

-

"What happened?" Zeb asks, and Kallus tenses, he thought he had time to change into his pajamas before Zeb got back from the fresher. Evidently he was wrong.

"Nothing," Kallus says as he quickly pulls his shirt down over his head to cover the bruises all over his torso.

"That didn't look like nothing." 

"Well it was."

"What's wrong? What's been happening?" Zeb says.

"I can't say."

"You can't or you won't" 

"I can't!!!" Kallus snaps back, crossing his arms over his chest and trying to hide the wince from pressing against the bruises. They got him good this time.

"Why not!"

"I just can't!" 

"At least let me treat your injuries?" Zeb asks instead.

"No, they're fine, it's just some minor bruising."

"Kal, please." He says softly.

"No, Zeb." Zeb huffs angrily and leaves the cabin. Kallus relaxes slightly now that he's alone again. So much for Zeb not finding out. As long as Zeb doesn’t know who, he should be fine though.

-

"Where's the medkit been moved to?" Zeb asks as he enters the cockpit.

"Ezra used it last when he burnt his hand, so try the galley beside the mugs." Hera replies, Zeb nods and goes to leave but Kanan sighs and calls him back for a second. May as well ensure Zeb's caught up to speed before approaching Kallus again.

-

"Ryan did this?" Zeb asks quietly as he reenters the room. Kallus stands to meet him.

"Kanan told you,” Kallus answers, just as quietly.

"Why didn't you say something?" Zeb says, voice rising in anger.

"You're smart enough to figure that out, Zeb." Kallus replies, still talking just as softly as he was before. It only raises Zeb's temper.

"They threaten you?" Zeb asks. "You know I wouldn't let them hurt you!" 

"You think it was only me they were threatening?" Kallus scoffs.

"What?"

"If it was just me I wouldn't of cared, I haven't cared so far but…" Kallus explains.

"But?"

"... but they threatened to also hurt the others." Kallus says and closes his eyes to not have to face Zeb.

"The others?".

"Kanan, Hera, Ezra, Sabine…" Kallus whispers.

"Karabast, when I get my hands on that little-"

"Zeb. It's not worth you getting in trouble with command for beating up a fellow rebel. I’m not worth it." Kallus argues. He knows that Ryan would also be in trouble for doing just that if command found out, but that wouldn’t make Zeb any more in the right.

"You’re worth it to me!" Zeb argues without thinking, he freezes as he realizes what he's said, but he's not gonna take it back now.

"You can't mean that, you don't even actually know me that well, you don’t know all the things I did, I-." Kallus starts, Zeb doesn't let him finish.

"I know despite all the caf you drink you actually prefer fruit teas, I know you mumble to yourself when you're lost in thought, I know you don't have a favourite plant because you can't choose just one, I know you're an honourable and kind man, and..." Zeb says, losing heat a bit as he considers his next words. "...and I know I love you."

Kallus appears to be shocked at those words. "It's okay if you don't feel the same, but please at least let me continue being your friend" Zeb pleads. Kallus takes a few steps back until he can sit on the bottom bunk again.

"Kal?"

"I don't deserve this, I…" Kallus mumbles off as he puts his head in his hands. Zeb pretends he doesn't hear the rest of the sentence, he wants the first time Alex says it back to not be prefaced with him feeling he doesn't deserve it.

"Yes, you do! You deserve happiness Kal." Zeb says as he steps forward before remembering what he picked up on Lira San.

"Wait here" Zeb says before running out of the room, he knows it's probably not the best idea but he's got a feeling this will be the best way to solve all this.

-

Kallus listens as Zeb runs out of the room. He's too shocked with the rapid change of events to do anything but wait for his return.

And return he does, not even two minutes laters but now with that long package he picked up when they were on Lira San.

"I was waiting for your birthday, Kanan says it's a custom on Coruscant to give presents for it, but now seems like a better time" Zeb explains as he holds out the package.

"Zeb… you didn't-"

"I didn't have to, I know, but I wanted to, c'mon open it?" Zeb says, pushing the box into Kallus' hands. Kallus carefully slides open the lid of the box to see a… a bo-rifle?

"I led one of the old Lasan smiths back to Lira San about a year and a half ago, and although he isnt in bo-rifle production these days he agreed to make one for you." Zeb says.

"Me?" Kallus says, reverently running his hand along the weapon's casing. It's not like the one that got left behind after Atollon, but this isn't supposed to be a replacement. This is a new start, Zeb is offering him a new start.

"Chava agreed, so did Gron and a few others when I talked to them about getting you one for your birthday. You've been forgiven Kallus, by everyone but yourself." Zeb says. Kallus can feel tears welling up in his eyes. Zeb's hand moves to rest on his shoulder as Kallus sniffles.

"Thank you, I- I-" Kallus has so many things he wants to say, but doesn't know what to say first.

"It's okay, you don't have to say anything right now." Zeb says, Kallus sighs as he turns and leans into Zeb, pulling the lasat into a hug. Zeb moves to return it, resting his cheek against the top of Kallus' head.

"Did you mean it?" Kallus whispers after a while, he's sure Zeb meant it but he wants to make sure before he does anything rash.

"Everything I said. I love you, Alex." Zeb says.

"I love you too." Kallus whispers, it's easier to say with his head buried in the others' chest. He's still not over the guilt or the feelings of unworthiness, but he'll work on it for Zeb.