#or the wonderfully ridiculous TAS?

[mistylacrimosa]

Haven't watched Lower Decks yet but rebloging anyway because if you think trek needs to be serious all the time you clearly haven't watched enough trek.

"Lower Decks is too silly."

DS9 took time out of their busy war story for Worf to join a moralist terrorist cell because his girlfriend wouldn't stop flirting with the woman who fucked her to death in a previous life.

[pollylynn]

Hendecagon—A Caskett One-Shot Set post–"After the Storm" (5 x 01)

Title: Hendecagon WC: 1200 A/N: Set in the summer just after “After the Storm” (5 x 01)

The sun is not quite up. It is an unseasonably cool fifty-six degrees. She is swearing at tomatoes.

“You’re not tomatoes,” she grumbles. She plumps herself down next to the fabric container and immediately regrets it. The whole of the rooftop is damp with the dithering mist that has wrapped itself around the city for the last five days. And now her pajama bottoms are damp with dithering mist. “You’re a failure.”

The last comment might be directed to the tomatoes. It might directed at herself. It’s probably directed at both, and it’s definitely ridiculous. The tomatoes will be tomatoes in their own good time—provided the dithering mist packs up and leaves town and late July remembers what late July is supposed to look like—and tomato failure to launch hardly makes her a failure. She has just failed at this particular thing.

Which she really had wanted not to fail at.

That’s ridiculous, too. It’s a just a silly thing she’d wanted to do, and no one but her even knows about it. It’s a failure that could simply disappear into the damned mist if she simply slunk back down to the loft and found a suitable hiding place for the tell-tale pajama pants. Instead, the bare soles of her feet and her entire backside are quickly going numb with cold. The rest of her skin is goose-pimpled and tinged with blue, and she can feel her hair taking on moisture, taking on a Medusa-rivaling life of its own.

“It was supposed to be a surprise,” she tells the hard, treacherously green little fruits. “Tomatoes, because . . . tomatoes.” She wiggles the body part in question for emphasis. She tries to wiggle them, but the window for toe mobility seems to have closed some time ago. “Eleven. You need toes for eleven.”

She clonks her head down on her drawn-up knees. Saying it out loud—saying it to failure tomatoes—sounds . . . well, stupid doesn’t begin to cover it. But she wanted to do for him what he has done for her so often over these last nine, ten, eleven weeks.

He has invented celebrations without number. If she wanted to tick off each and everyone, not only would she need his and her collective fingers and toes, she’d have to recruit passers-by on the street and borrow theirs. He invents anniversaries and fabricates holidays. He commemorates everything with silly, touching little mementoes and comically reverent ceremonies.

The very tiny rooftop garden she finds herself sitting in the center of is just one example of truly far too many to count. The end of week one he had materialized from the bedroom in denim overalls—actual overalls—and solemnly presented her with a trowel tied up in a fat green bow. He’d taken her hand and dragged her up to the roof, which was no small task given how weak with laughter she’d been. He’d covered her eyes with his hands at the very last second, then pulled them away.

Ta da.

He’d meant it as a flourish, but the gesture had a decided hint of shyness in it. Damp and disheartened as she is by the dithering mist and everything, her stomach still does a little butterfly flip thinking about how thrilling, yet tentative everything was in the early days before they needed toes to count their weeks together. It does a little butterfly flip thinking how wonderfully mundane so many things are between them now.

It’s the call of the wild, he’d explained, building steam as his grin fed off her own. We’ll hear their cries. We’ll have no choice but to tend them. It’s sad but true, Beckett, but we’ll have to leave the bedroom at some point . . .

She’d nearly had to stab him with the trowel for that, for the way an over-the-top, lascivious waggle of his eyebrows could make her blush. But he’d side-stepped the jab. He’d wrapped one arm tight around her and led her proudly from one tiny seedling to the next, each of one of them drowning in what seemed to be a sea of potting soil.

He’d talked about them all like children. He’d given each little green sprout a name, and she swears she changes them every time. She’d swear that the stubborn members of the nightshade family she’s seriously considering chucking right off the roof did not start out as Chaz, but Chaz is who they are this week—week 11, when she’d wanted to one simple, silly thing.

She’d wanted, just this once, to glide into the bedroom with the breakfast-in-bed tray bearing the perfect tomato-and-feta omelet. She’d wanted, just this once, to make him puzzle out what they were celebrating—why that celebration had to involve these, the tomatoes they’ve watered and whispered to and sat watching on warm summer evenings as though something might befall their green offspring army the second their backs were turned. But Chaz is a traitor.

“You’re all traitors,” she grumbles once more, kicking out with numb toes that definitely get the worse end of the deal when they connect with the heavy, soil-filled bag.

The move shifts her point of view. Or maybe it just shifts the thick, leafy arms of Chaz enough that she she’s able to see the flash of red beyond.

She’s on her knees with cat-like quickness. She faintly registers the unpleasant sensation of wet knees, of palms that are immediately freezing, but it’s all secondary. She’s weaving her way in between cucumber vines climbing upward and the alarming profusion of mint they’re really going to have to do something about. It’s Gavin—the lipstick pepper she’s pretty sure he originally named Lanie—and shyly peeping from between the long, slender leaves, is a mystical object: a single pepper, long, emerald, and healthy, save for a smile of blazing red.

She holds her breath as she eases her fingers beneath it. The stem yields immediately under her touch and the lovely weight of the fruit drops into her palm.

“Hello, gorgeous,” she breathes. She’s suspended there a moment, with the dithering mist clinging to her hair. Every inch of her is cold and wet, but she feels the warmth of seventy-seven suns in this Son or Daughter or Whatever of Gavin, this perfect, oddly shaped thing that the two of them have brought into the world. She forgets the mist and everything for a moment.

But the next moment, her stomach does a butterfly flip. It has her popping to her feet and racing for the propped open door.

She doesn’t know what an unexpected July sweet pepper has to do with eleven weeks or with anything else. But she’ll figure it out. She’ll make it up—some outlandish connection that he’ll scoff at, because every one of his outlandish connections is a million times better.

He’ll scoff, but his smile will go soft. He’ll sink back into the pillows and stretch with the satisfaction of it—of knowing that every second, they have something to celebrate. That’s how it always goes for her. That’s how it’ll go for him.

That’s how.

A/N: So I walked outside today, in celebration of the fact that the temperature was livable. Walk means no dreadmill or gym, and so no episode. But self, I thought, we should write a little drabble-y thing—NBD, just two hundred words. Maybe two-fifty. Because we don’t want to be up until 5 AM like the last week or so. Um. Yeah. So that all worked out.

[klaineccfanficlibrary]

Hi, sorry to bother you guys but I was wondering if there are any fics with Older!Blaine but on FF. net? I have literally read all the fics with the tag on AO3 and also some of the ones in the tag of your blog.

All our favorite fics are listed in the blog. We really don’t hold out on you! Some of the popular fics in this trope are cross-posted on FF.net and AO3 so I didn’t include those on the list. - HKVoyage

FICS I HAVE READ AND ENJOYED, AND I THINK ARE ONLY POSTED ON FF.NET

Restraint by scarlettfire

With nowhere to go for the winter holidays, Blaine accompanies his college roommate Finn home, where he meets the most beautiful boy. The attraction flares hot and fast. Whether it'll stay is the question.

~~~~~

Stepbrothers by nellie12

Blaine comes home from college to see his stepbrother Kurt isn't the little rugrat he had to protect when they were younger. Now, Kurt can hold his own. He's on the Cheerios and is dating the starting quarterback of the McKinley Titans. Blaine doesn't know why this all makes him uneasy, but it does. And it sucks.

~~~~~

Bite Your Lip, Pull Me In by rayychel infinity

Age difference: Blaine is 40, Kurt is 19, and this is the story of how a chance meeting between a successful businessman and a struggling young intern blossoms into something wonderfully unexpected.

~~~~~

Who Taught You To Use Your Hands by MonochromaticSongbird

Teacher!Klaine. Blaine Anderson is a professional. Which means he does not have inappropriate thoughts about his students, and he most certainly does not act on them. Smutty & angsty.

Companion piece: The One Who Knows Your Name 

FICS I HAVEN’T READ BUT RECEIVED GOOD REVIEWS

Something Ordinary by blackbirdwings28

After a dark incident in his past, Kurt is uncapable of loving. Blaine, on the other hand, is capable of loving too much. Can he help Kurt believe in love once again? AU, vaguely based on QaF.

~~~~~

I Need a Tutor by E. M. Zeray

TA!Blaine, student!Kurt. Life is tough at McKinley for the only openly gay kid at school, especially when he can't stop staring at the ridiculously attractive French TA...

~~~~~

The Teacher's Assistant by ARandomFan91

Kurt is back at McKinley for senior year! And he is falling in love with his new TA, Blaine! How will Blaine react? Can they break all the rules and be together? Or will they get caught in the process?

~~~~~

Let Me Love You by NotAloneDC

Blaine is a twenty five year old new teacher at McKinley.  Hes very much gay and very much into a BDSM relationship, just never found the right guy to be with. Kurt is a seventeen year old student attending his last year at school. He is also very much gay and considered himself Sub. He thought he would have to wait until he was in New York before he found that special someone, who

[true-blue-megamind]

Daylight and Dark Ch. 1 - First Night

Photo by Joe Waranont

Read the full fan fiction HERE

This is an excerpt.  Due to Tumblr’s regulations, the second half of this chapter is only available on AO3.  The full fiction is not child-friendly!

Summary: Months after Titan's defeat, Roxanne faces concerns as she and Megamind's relationship grows more serious. Soon, however, she learns that may be the least of her problems. Metro City's new hero has a dangerous past, and loving him comes with as many perils as benefits. Mystery, drama, romance, and humor.  RATING: Explicit.  WARNINGS: violence, sex, language, references to prior domestic abuse, and rock n’ roll!

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f I should labor through daylight and dark, Consecrate, valorous, serious, true, Then on the world I may blazon my mark; And what if I don't, and what if I do?

                —Dorothy Parker

Roxanne Ritchi stared at her reflection without really seeing it.

Tonight. It was going to be tonight. She had waited, fretted, but no more. It had to be tonight.

Perhaps this moment had been too long in coming. It wasn't as if she didn't want it to—she adored him, she was undeniably attracted to him, and she was completely unbothered by their physical differences—but there was a part of Roxanne that had been affected more than she liked to admit by past disappointments.  She described her approach to relationships as "circumspect" and "judicious," but, if she was honest, she was, in reality, a coward.  Not that she was afraid of Megamind, of course; that would have been ridiculous.  Her concerns were harder to define than that.  What she feared was, she supposed, perfection, or rather the relentless feeling that anything this perfect had to be inevitably doomed.  After all, past experiences with men had all ended in disaster—she was either too aloof or too intense, depending on which of her exes you asked— and it seemed that the better relationships were in the beginning, the more spectacularly they failed in the end.  In fact, the reporter had already resigned herself to a single life, throwing herself completely into her work, when along came a certain blue alien.  Now, deep down, she was afraid that something would go wrong—especially when their relationship was already complicated by its very nature.  Perhaps that was the real heart of the issue: her love affair with Megamind was complex in so many ways, even more than the expected difficulties entailed in dating any Defender, and some of those issues revolved around things neither she nor her blue boyfriend could control.

Even so, she had made her decision, and she wasn't going to back down.  It was going to be tonight.

A knock snapped Roxanne's eyes back into focus, and she frowned at her incomplete makeup. Hurriedly finishing her mascara and applying some russet red, long-wear lipstick, she swept all her cosmetics back into a drawer.  An extra spray of perfume for good measure, and that would have to do. Fanning her mouth with her hands to dry the lip color, Roxanne walked briskly through the living room to her apartment's front door.

Megamind was standing in the hall, eyes fixed pensively off into the distance. It was a look she was growing to expect whenever she left him waiting too long; the double-edge sword of his massive intellect was that he was always thinking, always wondering, his thoughts never still. The sound of the door brought him back to attention, and he smiled. She threw her arms around him— their usual greeting— and gave him a quick peck on the lips.

Nerves sang and sparked. She hated that she was as fidgety as a maiden bride.  While she believed that, like alcohol and tobacco, sex should be "enjoyed responsibly," Roxanne had slept with a respectable number of men.  It had been years since the idea of it had made her jittery.  Until now.  Maybe it was her long hiatus from the dating pool—very few men were willing to move on a woman supposedly dating someone with lasers in his eyes—or maybe it was Megamind's charm coupled with the intensity of her feelings for him, but, whatever the reason, something about the city's hero made her feel like she was in high school once more: heart fluttering and stomach slightly queasy.  If only that were the sole reason for the butterflies beneath her skin.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," she smiled again, looking into eyes so green they glowed.

His expression was tender as he turned his gaze down to her's— something that, at only two inches taller than Roxanne, he only managed to do when they were this close. And when she was wearing flats. For a moment Roxanne silently praised the work-sore feet that had prompted her to opt for more comfortable shoes this evening.

Clearly, the blue alien had been on duty today as he was dressed in his familiar dark leathers. For a short time, Megamind had tried wearing white— had even gone as far as to build a new super suit that imitated Metro Man's powers— but thankfully Minion had convinced him that it was better to be his own brand of hero. And he'd been right. Not only did Roxanne prefer her boyfriend's bad boy look for reasons of her own, but even the most hardened criminals had grown to fear the black-clad Defender of Metro City while citizens had grown to accept Megamind for himself.

Will that continue after tonight, if people find out? Or will the same public that praises him today turn against him tomorrow?

"Don't worry, it's alright," the blue hero assured her. Roxanne startled for a moment— how did he know what she was thinking?— before she realized that he'd been referring to the wait. "I was just considering how I might turn one of your windows into a transparent glass monitor," he continued. "It would require some creative engineering, but I think it could be done. Then I could build you a smaller version of the supercomputer in my lair, and ta-da! It could function as a window until activated, and then you could use it to communicate with me in my workroom, or research, or to—" seeing her quizzically amused expression, he caught himself in mid-thought and cleared his throat. He and Roxanne had agreed to just have a normal, relaxing date, and it seemed to occur to him that this might not fit the description. "Erm, these are for you," he finished sheepishly, proffering a bouquet of yellow daisies, orange and gold cosmos, gardenias, and red and white roses.

He always brought her daisies, ever since she had mentioned once in passing how much she loved the ones in Hill Top Park.  Bouquets turned up at her office every Thursday like clockwork.  She didn't even mind that some of the interns got all girlish and giggly about it.

Roxanne accepted the flowers, inhaling the blossoms' sweet scents before saying: "They're beautiful. Come on inside." She pulled him in, leaning up to give him another kiss as she reached around him to shut the door. "I've always wondered: what are these?" she continued, touching tiny white clustered flowers with one hand. "It seems like they're in every single bouquet I've ever seen, but no one ever mentions what they're called."

"Ah, yes, that's Gypsophila, Baby's Breath. And you're right, it is a common addition to bouquets... I think for artistic reasons. What's wrong? Do you dislike it?"

"What? No, not at all..."

"What is it? You look like you just smelled something horrible. I can take the Gypsophila out."

"Oh, no, that's not necessary. It's nothing... just..."

Baby's breath.  Oh God.   Roxanne tried to ignore the skittering tightness in her heart.

What if she got pregnant?  What would the world say to the first half-human child?  She was a responsible adult, of course, and she wasn't rushing into this unprepared, but even so... Sex was designed to make babies, and no matter how careful a girl was, sometimes it did just that.  Her cousin Theresa, who had conceived her third child while she and her husband were using both pills and condoms, was living proof.

Realizing she'd been quiet too long, Roxanne thought quickly. "It's just that that's an odd name for a flower, isn't it? I mean, it doesn't really look like breath."

"No stranger than Forget-Me-Nots or Grandmother's Lace." He shrugged. "Flower names are just weird."

"At least Grandmother's Lace sort of looks like lace," she laughed, more at herself than anything else. "But you're probably right. Either way, these really are gorgeous," Roxanne smiled again. "I love them."

"I'm glad," he grinned. "I've been studying Floriography."

"Flori-what?"

"The language of flowers."

"I didn't know flowers talked," she joked.

"Very funny. You've read enough classic literature to know what I mean."

"I do, and you're very sweet," she answered, retrieving a vase from the small china hutch in her living room, and leading him into the kitchen. "Let's see… Roses are for love, right?"

"Love and affection, depending on the color."

"And these colors are?" She asked, setting the vase on the counter and turning to face him.

His cheeks flushed a little, the expression of shy pleasure at odds with his tough-guy persona. It was unreasonably adorable. "The red ones mean: 'my love for you is passionate,'" he explained. "And the white ones mean: 'my love for you is pure.'"

She felt her heart do a happy, ridiculous little flip, and turned her head to give him a smile that felt embarrassingly shy and girlish. "Oh."

This was always his way: thoughtful, charming, romantic, foolishly sentimental… Yet he never begrudged her her independence; never complained when she had to break a date for a hot news story or an overdue deadline. He just told her to stop by the Lair on the way home if she had the time, and sent over a packed dinner via brainbot with a note saying something like: "You won't forget to eat, will you? Love, MM." And then there was the way he fully embraced her for who she was, skipping typical dates in favor of afternoons in bookshops, long days in the park, weekends exploring quirky little-known museums, and dinners at hidden gems serving unexpectedly excellent cuisine or wonderfully authentic international dishes.

"Are you sure you're not telepathic?" she asked, only half in jest.  It was something she'd questioned him about before.

"I think I would notice if I were."  His expression turned teasing.  "Perhaps, Miss Ritchi, you are simply too... Predictable."

"Jerk," she laughed, trimming the edges of the flowers under the running tap.  

"Villain," he corrected, gesturing to himself.  "One of the good guys, now, but still a villain," he moved close.  "And a devilishly handsome one at that."

"Hmm.  I can't argue with the last part."

"That's because you have excellent taste."  God, why did his smirk have to look like dark secrets and wanton promises?  "Really, though, Sweetheart," he added, his smile gentling.  "I know you because I love you."

"I love you, too."

She truly did, and the fact that someone as brilliant and charming as Megamind loved her back sometimes still filled her with soft surprise.  More than that, however, he respected her.  He trusted her.  Following their defeat of Titan, Megamind had not only granted her nearly unfettered access to his secret Lair— something unheard of in the past— but, keenly aware that the sudden cessation of her regular kidnappings could affect her career, he had also allowed her to join him in some of his more noteworthy heroic battles.  While her blue beau insisted that she steer clear of the dangerous Doom Syndicate, together they had taken down two minor would-be villains: the first an ex-model with a scarred face and a terrible idea of revenge, the second a balding science teacher with an insane plan to make the pigeons in the park emulate Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds.  That last had been a monumental failure even by Megamind's standards.  The chemical compound the man had fed the birds had only succeeded in giving them explosive diarrhea.  It had been an incredible mess.

Thank God for brainbot cleanup crews!

"And just what are you snickering about?" Megamind asked her, cocking one eyebrow, green eyes shining with curious mirth.  "It's mean not to share," he added, adopting his best Hero-Giving-a-Life-Lesson voice.  Roxanne laughed harder.  That particular part of his new persona was definitely a work in progress.

"I was just thinking about the bird guy," she answered, turning to fill the vase from the faucet.

"The bird—Oh!  Ravenous!" he gave the word an odd inflection, putting an emphasis on "raven," just as the aspiring villain had.

"That was it!" she chortled.  "God, even his name sucked!  He got so mad at you for pronouncing it wrong, too."

"Excuse me," he grinned, leaning back against the counter to catch her eye. "I was pronouncing the word ravenous correctly.  It's not my fault he had an unnatural obsession with avians.  And, as I recall, it was you, my Dear Miss Ritchi, who insisted on pronouncing his name wrong—or rather right— on air, until you had the whole city doing it.

"Me?" she couldn't hide her smile.  "Look at this innocent face.  Would I do something like that?"

His laugh rang through the kitchen.  "Oh, yes, you would.  I always said you would have made an excellent Evil Queen!"

It was absurd how much her heart sped up when he said that.  "When did you decide to learn floriography?  I mean, it can't have been just for this," she asked, arranging the bouquet with more care and concentration than was really necessary.  "I can't imagine you taking an interest in it before."

"Yes and no.  I did learn for you, Roxanne, but," he seemed to swallow his sheepishness, "I've studied the language of flowers for years.  I... I used to imagine what I would say to you if I only had the courage to leave a tower of blossoms on your table after a kidnapping.  I never did.  I didn't want you to feel... uncomfortable, frightened, but...  Roxanne, I revolve around you.  Your smiles have been my drug for a long time."

She swallowed turned her head back quickly.  Her face felt like fire and she knew she was losing the battle for suave composure.  Damn it, I'm supposed to be the one seducing him!  

How could she not love him when he said things like that—said them and actually meant them?  Surely that was too much for any reasonable world to expect? And if others might not like it, well, so what?  She'd endured criticism of everything from her political stances to her hair, and God knew Megamind was no stranger to animosity.  Whatever storms this might brew, they would weather them together.

"The Gypsophila represent purity, too," Megamind informed her.  She could hear him grinning at her blush. "The cosmos are joy and harmony," he added, moving closer again. "Yellow daisies are for both true love, because each flower is actually two joined as one, and for new beginnings. Gardenias, now those are interesting. They represent feminine beauty, and can refer to a secret love, but," Roxanne nearly dropped the vase as he leaned against her back to breathe the last words against her ear. "Gardenias also mean: 'I will always protect you.'"

"Megamind," she breathed, gently setting the vase on the counter and turning to bury herself in him. He smelled like hot metal— he'd probably been welding something earlier— and expensive cologne, but beneath that was his familiar musk of leather, spices, and something warm and woody.

He began kissing along her ear and down toward her shoulder— something he had become extremely good at in the last few months. His goatee, warm breath, and gentle teeth were sweet torture against her sensitive skin. Clever fingers tickled up the nape of her neck and slid around to gently tangle in her short hair, making her shiver. She sighed his name again, tasting the syllables like a prayer.

Megamind. This was Megamind: fiercely loyal and endlessly affectionate. Of course, he would always protect her. Let the whole entire city, or even the entire planet, turn against them, and he would remain steadfastly at her side, determined and immovable as stone.  Certainly, they had had their share of arguments—what couple didn't?—but, in the end, he always had her back. He'd probably even do his best to shield her from the worst of people's biases.  Because that was the sort of man he was.

To hell with what people might think. I want this, now and always.

Roxanne leaned back just enough to kiss him with thorough passion, giving his mouth the full and undivided attention it deserved.  He matched her passion, tongue gliding past her lips to tempt and tumble against her own.  Almost of their own accord, her arms wrapped about his slender neck, pulling him closer, urging him on...

And her stupid phone timer went off, shattering the moment with an annoyingly jaunty little tune.

"I… um… I have dinner in the oven," she stumbled over her own words. "It should be... ready… almost... almost ready."

Mercifully, he took his cue. "Oh-ho!" he laughed, giving her one last peck on the lips. "Home cooking twice in one week! Just what are you up to, Miss Ritchi?"

Although Roxanne had learned to cook at her grandmother's elbow, she'd rarely felt it worth her time when she was single, preferring quick frozen meals she could leave in the crockpot or even pop into the microwave.  Since she had started dating Megamind, however, she'd dusted off the old cookbooks she'd inherited and started making meals from scratch once a week.  True, the hero had Minion to cook for him— and her skills were nowhere near the henchman's gourmet standards— but this was one of the ways she could show her affection, and it always seemed to please the blue alien.  Things like that had become important to the reporter as Megamind took up residence in her heart, which is why she found herself constantly making little gestures like buying him a blue teddy bear in a black leather jacket, or texting him funny pictures and thoughts she knew would make him smile.  So she had gotten into the habit of planning one special dinner each week.  But, up until now, it had always been only one.

I'd hoped he wouldn't notice.  I should have known better.  

She gave him her best calm reporter stare. It was ruined by the fact that her face still felt like it was glowing red. "Why should I be up to anything?" she asked coyly.

He lifted an eyebrow, his grin playful.  "Your wiles won't work on me."

That earned him a sultry look. "I was under the impression they were working pretty well just now."

"Wicked girl," he teased. Following Roxanne across the small kitchen, Megamind opened the oven and sniffed eagerly. "Mmmm... Lasag-na. My favorite. Now I'm definitely suspicious."

"It's lasagna, silly," Roxanne corrected fondly, moving past him to set her bouquet on the dinette table. "And can't a girl make her favorite hero a nice dinner without him getting into conspiracy theories?"

He only grinned at her again. "La. Sag. Na." That was one of the things Roxanne loved most about Megamind. He never let himself be embarrassed. Most people would have been mortified by constant mispronunciations, but he brushed them off with a smile.

Giggling, Roxanne swatted him playfully out of her way and found two oven mitts in a drawer before retrieving the dish from the oven. "Maybe I'll make you learn to say it correctly before I let you have any."

"Oh, you could never be so cruel!" he answered over his shoulder as he selected plates from the cabinet. "I should have brought a bottle of wine."

"I still have two from the last time you came over," laughed Roxanne. "I think we'll be okay."

"You make me sound like an alcoholic," Megamind complained, but he couldn't quite tame his playful expression as he began setting the table. "I simply couldn't decide what would compliment the dish best. Besides, I wanted to make sure I had something to eat my breakfast cereal with in the morning."

"Ewww!"

Roxanne loved Megamind's laugh. He was the city's hero now, but his rolling chortle still had a dark ring in it, and something about it sent delicious shivers down her spine.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding" he assured her.

"I know, but... Ewww!"

He laughed again and motioned her to her chair. "Alright, okay," he said, helping her into her seat. "Whenever I stay here overnight, I solemnly promise that I will not eat cereal and wine for breakfast."

Roxanne tried to giggle but found her throat suddenly tight. Funny how that comment brought the conversation to the matter at hand.

Come on, Roxanne.  For God's sake.  Just ask.

She looked up at him, his face still glowing with humor, and gently placed her hand on his.

"Megamind, I was thinking, what about tonight?"

He looked confused. "What about tonight?"

"For that. For you to stay over. I mean..." she sighed.  Ugh... Why is this so hard?   "Will you stay here with me tonight?"

"Of course!" his easy tone implied he still didn't get her meaning. It wasn't as if he had never stayed over, after all... It was simply that they had never done any more than cuddle.

"No, I mean, will you—" Oh, God, I'm going to have to be specific, aren't I?— "Will you sleep with me? Will you spend the night here as my lover?"

That finally did it. His eyes widened in surprise, and then he glanced quickly down, trying unsuccessfully to hide his little up-to-no-good grin.

When he lifted his gaze again, however, his expression turned serious. "Are you... sure? I want you to be sure, Roxanne. Absolutely certain." He lifted his free hand to push a strand of her short hair tenderly back from her face. "No regrets between us. Ever."

She smiled. Doesn't he understand that that's what makes me so certain?  He's always ready to put me first.

Yes, he was an alien. Yes, she was going to be the first known human to sleep with someone from a different planet. Yes, in a society where too many still objected to relationships between different races and same genders, sharing her bed with an extraterrestrial was sure to stir up trouble. But it didn't matter. She had given him her whole heart, and after five months of dating— more if you counted the dates with "Bernard"— she wanted to give him her body, too. The time had come. Their relationship couldn't continue in this state of limbo. Either she stopped holding back or she broke things off, and she couldn't bear the thought of the latter. No matter what happened, no matter who judged them, no matter how many snide comments she had to hear about Stockholm Syndrome and tentacle porn, she would not—could not—let him go.

Fully meeting his look, Roxanne let her emotions— love, desire, trust, longing— fill her blue eyes. Her hands caressed the sides of his face as she pulled him down for another slow-burn kiss.

"I'm sure," she breathed when they parted for air. "I'm very, very sure."

He smiled and leaned back in, kissing her again, letting years of contained passion spill over her.  The chair skittered back as she rose, tangling her arms around him.  Clutching her, Megamind ran eager hands over her back, cupped her hips, and pressed her close to feel the proof of his desire. His kisses were hot, desperate, as if he were drowning and her lips held his only salvation.

Panting and flushed, the hero was the first to pull back. "I'm sorry," he said, motioning to the cooling meal on the table. "I don't mean to let all your hard work go to waste, but—"

"I have a microwave. We can heat it up."

He grinned. "Well, in that case..." he purred. Scooping her up in his deceptively thin arms, Metro City's blue hero carried Roxanne to the bedroom.

Tonight. It was going to be tonight.

Click Here to Keep Reading

[jason-the-mommas-boy]

okay I’m back 1 more time- thank you for that wonderfully precious jason (he’s a big man and gives the best hugs fight me) i have one more request before i stop filling your inbox- s/o wearing jason’s clothes?? like this tiny person that’s a good 2 feet shorter putting on some of his clothes and wearing his mask?? just completely engulfed by the clothes,,, please i love your writing and I’m excited for that book you’re writing

oh my gosh, anon!! you can send in as many asks as you want! i run this candy shop and i intend to give you all the goods you ask for! but of course!! I enjoy writing a precious jason anyday dkfja

JASON VOORHEES’ S/O IN HIS CLOTHES

On a particular rainy day, you had insisted on Jason changing out his clothes and letting you clean them. They were absolutely soaked and you couldn’t imagine what years of abuse they went through just because Jason simply did not give a single fuck. Once his clothes were so badly damaged to the point he couldn’t wear them anymore, he’d toss them out and look for new ones. He would either find clothes from his victims, which was hard to do considering how big of a guy he was, or he would stitch clothes together to better fit him. Yes, your man can sew! 

There was no way he would leave you with his clothes just so he could sit at home, practically half-naked, and wait for you to come back, which he could only assume it would take at least a day with your busy schedule. 

Okay, fine. Jason was coming with you then.

He also protested this. He did not want to leave the camp alone, not when there was a single chance for teenagers to set up their camping grounds and make a ruckus there. There was absolutely no way you were going to convince him to leave his home. Nope. Nadda. 

You have to remind him it’s winter. Crystal Lake was a summer camp. No one was going to come up here besides you, which has been proved over the last few years. You also promise him that probably no one would see him at all! No one was awake in the dead of the night in your apartment. 

And that’s how you, a person who was at least two feet smaller than your boyfriend, got an over-sized Jason in a way-too small car at midnight to take him to your place and wash his clothes. Yes, you did make him put a blanket on his car seat so he wouldn’t ruin it with any stains. Let’s also not talk about how this gentle giant could be silent at times that only benefited him and loud at the worst of times that made it hard on you. You almost felt bad for your neighbors as he stomped around like it was his place. Almost.

Luckily enough, it still didn’t drag anyone of their small rooms to go and look for whoever was disrupting their sleep. Or, you had just enough time to squeeze this masked killer into your apartment before they could step out of their rooms. Either was fine as long as no one noticed you were harboring the killer of Camp Blood in your home for the night. 

Just like that, Jason was rushed into your bathroom, shutting the door behind him to give him some privacy to change out of his clothes. But into what? 

You really didn’t have any over-sized clothes at all that would fit your boyfriend. You were pretty sure no one really had monster size made in their clothing brand. Still, though, you went searching frantically for at least something. It would be incredibly awkward with him just in his boxers for most of his stay. 

Jason was just kind of standing in your bathroom for a little while, just staring off into space as he read all of your little bottles of toiletries, trying to familiarize himself with the current-day brands. That is until you knocked at the door, catching his full attention. You didn’t dare peak your head out in fear you may walk into him changing, you sneak an arm into the room to offer him an article of clothing. 

“It’s uh, the only thing I got that you can wear. Hope that’s okay! Just give me your other clothes once you’re done.” You speak, trying to explain. 

He tilts his head, but takes the offering nevertheless. The door is shut again. He looks down. 

It’s a pink bathrobe.

Yeah, you really didn’t have anything else. You were surprised you found anything really, suddenly thanking your one relative for having gotten your size completely wrong that one time when they were trying to get you a christmas present. You hoped Jason wouldn’t mind, it’s the thought that counts, right? 

Not even a few minutes pass and Jason’s out of the bathroom and handing you his clothes. The sight of him wearing the bathrobe was honestly funny enough. If he had some slippers he’d fit right into a comfy cozy lifestyle. You smile up at him, at least he didn’t seem offended by what you had asked him to wear. 

Then!! An idea. “Jason, can I see your mask? I want to clean that too.” 

You had asked so innocently! Of course! The masked killer wasn’t so masked anymore as he gave up the piece of plastic up to you to have for the moment. 

You left a little kiss on his nose as he sat down on your couch, basking in everything that seemed so new and alien to him. You left the poor boy to his own thoughts as you headed into a different room to clean his extremely dirty and soggy clothes. You would have forced him to take a bath while he was changing to, but you thought it was best to handle one thing at a time. 

Yeah, Jason felt just a little ridiculous sporting the bathrobe. He remembers his mommy wearing them often when he was younger, but that’s basically it. He didn’t mind the color at all, pink was rather a lovely color, especially on him! You said so on multiple occasions so he felt inclined to believe it. It just felt  weird to wear a bathrobe with his briefs, a little too used to wearing heavier clothing. 

He kind of just sat there on the couch for probably around an hour, looking through stuff he found on the coffee table. Everything pretty much screamed you so he was happy about that. You were just an adorable little thing. You were also pretty busy with hand washing his clothes! He tried offering his help but you insisted that you were fine and didn’t need it. 

“Just enjoy yourself while I do this, okay?” 

Okay, but how is he supposed to do that!! He doesn’t know how half of the stuff in your apartment works and he can’t even get some cuddles with you at the moment. Was it the time to pout and just wait? Yes, yes it was. 

He picks up a book on the table, squinting as he reads the title. Didn’t make any sense to him personally, but maybe this was what you were reading currently? Maybe he would ask you to read it to him sometime. 

His thought process gets interrupted though as you call out his name. “Jason!!”

The giant looks up and around and-oh god, you were trying to kill him. Well, he was pretty sure if he was going to die, this was why! You stood in all of your cute glory flaunting the way-over-sized clothes that belong to him on yourself in the doorway. Mask and all, you were truly dressed like a certain Voorhees he knew. 

“Ta-da!” You walk over to your boyfriend, lifting the hockey mask off your face, smirking. You were literally engulfed by his clothes, almost tripping over the pants as you walked. “What do you think?” 

He immediately wraps his arms around you to give you a nice hug, tight-but-not-too-tight hug. The moment he thinks he can’t find you looking any more adorable than you already were, you go on ahead and prove him wrong. The clothes? Yours now. He is going to insist on this in any way he can, besides the mask of course. If he had to become the famed killer of Camp Blood that wore a pink bathrobe and hockey mask, he would do it just so he could see you in those clothes constantly. 

You laugh, leaning down to press a few kisses on his forehead. “I’m glad you like it, sweetie. Think I could pull this off back at camp?” 

Oh god, no, but he wouldn’t complain if you tried to.

[spockandawe]

HEY THERE, you have me interested in The Untamed but I'm a little lost as to where to start, there's both a 50 episode normal version and a 20 episode special edition, which should I watch/start with? Also WHAT does your svsss tag stand for? I'm seeing "The Untamed" and "Chén Qíng Lìng" and "Mo Dao Zu Shi" and "Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation" thrown around as synonyms or related pieces of media, but nothing with svsss!

Sure thing!!

Okay, to start with, I’d definitely go with the 50-episode version. It’s a Lot, and there is some padding added to the story compared to the original book, but twenty episodes seems really, really short to do justice to the central plot 

(a quick skim of google tells me that the special edition leans harder into the original novel’s gayness, which the show has to be coy about, because china. i think there are expanded scenes featuring the two leads, which is awesome, because their acting is AMAZING, but that just means the plot scenes are even more compressed. I saw at least one person recommend that you not do the special edition unless you’ve consumed the story in at least one other more standard format already)

Also! Iirc, the show is available on youtube and netflix, among other platforms, though those two are wonderfully accessible. However, comma, I do hear from people fluent in chinese that the subtitles sometimes are inaccurate in unnecessary/unfortunate ways. From what I hear, viki has the best complete set of subtitles (I think there may be fansub projects in progress, but I am not at all in touch with those. I still haven’t watched the show myself).

And the general summary of my current webnovel fixation! There’s this webnovel author who goes by mxtx, who currently has three complete books out, which have all been translated into english. Then after I finished those, I started branching out into other authors and webnovels, though I’m not too deep into that end of the pool yet. I’ll break each book into a separate paragraph for clarity. 

Oh, and. Each of these books is explicitly gay, and set in ancient fantasy china, in a wuxia/xianxia setting, which I’m not too familiar with myself, but I believe it functions a lot like how authors will use ‘ancient fantasy europe’ as a playground where they don’t necessarily need to match up to established countries/cities/etc, but they expect readers to recognize certain conventions, like I’d be able to recognize a western author writing a basic feudal setting, or recognize witches and wizards, without them explaining the whole thing from the bottom up. Since I’m not familiar, it raised the difficulty level a little for me to get into the genre, but the webnovel translators tend to use footnotes and I picked up a lot as I went on.

(if you are interested in any of these, novelupdates.com is a good central resource collecting links to various fan translation projects)

So! Mxtx. Her earliest book is The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System (SVSSS), which is also the shortest and most linear of her books. The general premise is that a guy who’s been hate-reading this (straight) stallion harem webnovel with a dark protagonist. He goes to bed, and wakes up in the novel, as the protagonist’s dickbag teacher, who is doomed to eventually die horribly. He wants to not die, and is also a decent human being, so the book follows the “original” novel derailing from its intended path, and accidentally getting super duper gay. This one is about to come out in donghua form, but I think that may be its first non-book adaption.

Her second book, which was adapted into The Untamed/Chen Qing Ling (CQL), is also known as The Grandmaster Of Demonic Cultivation/Mo Dao Zu Shi (MDZS), which really manages to be the hardest of her books to summarize. Wei Wuxian, the grandmaster of demonic cultivation, dies. Thirteen years later, he wakes up in someone else’s body. Most of the world would like him to stay dead, tbh, but he’s a good egg, and he and his old friend(????) go forth and solve a necromantic mystery together, and also there is romance-romance and ten million family feelings. This one gets nonlinear, with several extended flashback sequences, and the story STARTS at about the midway point of the plot. This has been adapted into an audio drama at least once, a manhua, a donghua, and now a live action show, so it goes by a million different names in its various formats.

Her third book, and the LONGEST, is Heaven Official’s Blessing/Tian Guan Ci Fu (TGCF), and oh my god, it’s so long, and I love it so, so much. This gets into high fantasy much  more than the other two, including the idea that as people develop their cultivation and powers, they may eventually achieve immortality and ascend to the heavens. The story follows Xie Lian who achieved immortality and ascended to heaven! And then fell. And then ascended! And fell again. Eight hundred years later, he ascends for the third time. He meets Hua Cheng, the ridiculously powerful ghost king, who most of the other immortals are terrified of. But Hua Cheng seems to like Xie Lian! And Xie Lian thinks Hua Cheng is a sweet boy! (hua cheng is a sweet boy, but only for xie lian). This also has extended flashback sequences, but is a more linear story than MDZS, I think. Also it made me cry, which, wow, rude. I love it so incredibly much. This also exists as a manhua, but I think it’s still being published? I haven’t read it yet.

NOW. Mxtx is working on a fourth book, but it’s not out in chinese yet, never mind english. But I needed More. I was getting some SVSSS vibes from this one other book, which, *wobbly hand motions*, but I am enjoying the hell out of this book purely for its own sake.

Meatbun is an author with other books that I haven’t read yet, but I am currently in the middle of The Husky And His White Cat Shizun/Er Ha He Ta De Bai Mo Shi Zun (Erha/2ha), which is at this moment being adapted to a live action tv show called Immortality. There are MANY warnings that go with this book, though the google docs translation files do a good job of placing warnings at the front of every document and in front of relevant chapters. The general premise! Mo Ran basically conquered the entire world, put down all resistance by force, and was a super powerful but Kinda Dumb emperor. As part of this, he took his old teacher, who he despised with a burning passion, prisoner, and abused him a Lot. The story starts as rebels try to mount an assault on his palace, and Mo Ran’s cousin gets impatient with how slowly things are moving and runs ahead of the group. He finds that (suicide warning:) Mo Ran has... taken poison, and is in the middle of dying. This doesn’t stick. He wakes up as a teenager, apparently having traveled back in time, and starts living through events again, with the knowledge of his past life. It took me a while to warm up to this story, but ohhhh my goodness, it’s so TASTY. The translation for this one is ongoing, and I am in AGONY waiting for further updates.

So those are the ones I’m currently into and mostly blogging about! I also read Dreamer In The Spring Boudoir, mostly because feynite wrote an SVSSS fic set in the universe of that novel, which was good in some ways, left me cold in others (and the original novel is straight, with a society with rigid gender roles, so making it super gay in the fic made the setting much more interesting to me). Meatbun has other writing, which I haven’t sampled yet, but I am definitely interested in doing that sometime soon. 

Sorry, I know this is a LOT, so if you have any other questions feel free to ask me!! I got into these mostly via being interested in the untamed, so I read them as 1) mdzs, 2) svsss, 3) tgcf, 4) erha, which was an order that worked well for me. But if someone was looking for a general order to read them in, independent of that, I might suggest 1) svsss, 2) mdzs, 3) tgcf, 4) erha. They’re all really good, and scratch different emotional itches, and each of them has at least a few characters who sucker-punch me RIGHT in the goddamn heart. They’ve been a HUGE help for me dealing with the restlessness and/or apathy of quarantine, so I’ve been evangelizing them to pretty much anyone who will listen to me, hahaha

[aka-xn]

No soul; no zest. The embrace of imperfection feels a lot more, to me, what this season is about. Lopsided, bent in the middle (so it looks tilted), literally empty in the back, with branches going in weird directions, decorating this #ChristmasTree was more like solving a strategy puzzle than decking the halls. Truth be told, some of these faults are partly on me. I did my annual Tree Lot Haggle Scam. I wait until late in the tree-buying season, and when I go to the lot I head directly over to the BIG trees – the ones that are usually expensive. I sort through and find whatever one has a TON of damage. Then I say to whatever drunk guy with a chainsaw is working the lot: “Cut this one in half, and I’ll pay you $30 for it.” Knowing they won’t be able to sell a mangled tree, they always concede. But this years was particularly messy, even without it’s badly-damaged lower half. Usually I will have a good friend (or, in my luckiest years, a man I love) join me while decorating. And boy, once that colored-light glow starts, I’d be lying to say I don’t I miss having someone ta snuggle with. Living alone during 2020 can work over the emotions. Most folks have SOMEONE around; roommates or family or a guy or gal to go steady with. Unlike most of you reading this, I don’t currently have the blessing of someone to share a home with. So, yeah, I’ll admit: the season feels particularly lonely. But it was on this note that the magic of this dumb tree took over. I mean, I didn’t get a chance to become all self-pitying for longer than a brief moment before the satirically sorry state of this ridiculous #charliebrownchristmastree started making me laugh. The pathetic monstrosity wedged into my window became so absurd that I found myself dropping to on the floor because I cracking up so hard. Easily laughed for about 15 minutes Just reminds me to focus; this is a year of vast change and work and improvement. We shouldn’t ever linger in feeling down just because we’ve noticed we’re nowhere near ideal. In fact, the comedy of it alone is usually the antidote. Step back. Yeah, it’s pretty horrible. A mess. Perfectly, magically, wonderfully so. ▫️ #holidays #akaXN #TheRealXN https://www.instagram.com/p/CI40dlVjs2H/?igshid=1scg6qwnsi23k

[victuuriporkbowl]

Victuuri Recs #8

Impostor Syndrome by renaissance (R, 61.7k) Summary: At some point, most people with a childhood crush will imagine meeting their idol, and might even pretend that they're dating. This is the story of how Yuuri Katsuki meets his childhood crush, and how they pretend that they're dating. [Fake/Pretend Relationship] Stay Close to Me by dasedandconfuzed (PG, 11k) Summary: At the Grand Prix Final, Yuuri misses the podium by fractions of a point. Embroiled in a skating controversy, he tells himself he'll prove his worth in the World Championships, but there's a long time in between. Or: Vicchan lives. [Canon Divergence] Russian for Dummies by cutthroatpixie (G, 2k) Summary: "Are you a beginner?" Viktor was not a beginner. Viktor was the TA supposedly in charge of this study session. Viktor spoke Russian. Viktor was Russian. "Sure!" [College AU] Lonely Hearts Club by dadvans (NC-17, 18.8k) Summary: Victor meets Yuuri after the World Championships in Detroit and mistakes him for a male escort. Yuuri fails to correct him. [Canon Divergence, Mistaken Identity] (Don’t) Ring the Wedding Bells by cuttlemefish (NC-17, 44.9k) Summary: As (loosely) inspired by real life, this is the wedding reception AU (you didn’t ask for, but will get) in which Yuuri Katsuki catches the bride’s bouquet and (shortly after) gets smashed at a wedding reception, then dirty dances with his best friend, (sort of) seduces a (hot) platinum-haired trust-fund baby named Viktor, and ends up being hounded for his identity (by said trust-fund baby and his friends and family) on social media. [Dancer!Yuuri/Trust Fund Baby!Victor AU, Modern Cinderella AU] 'Cause I'm a Taker, 'Cause I'm a Giver, It's Only Nature by ken_ichijouji (NC-17, 90k, WIP) Summary: The story of how Yuuri Katsuki slept with, dated, fell in love with, and married Victor Nikiforov. Yes, in that order. [WIP] GoldSkate88 Has Logged In by katsudonfemmefatale (NC-17, 9.9k) Summary: Phichit encourages Yuuri to join an online figure skating forum, but what he doesn't expect is for a certain user to change his life forever. Every time he sees the username GoldSkate88, Katsu92's stomach can't help but do a flip, but how will this affect his upcoming Grand Prix competition? [Canon Divergence] "Be My Sex Coach, Victor!" by lucycamui (NC-17, 32k, WIP) Summary: Yuuri Katsuki has always been his own worst critic, and a series of unfortunate short-lived relationships has him convinced that he flubs things more in the bedroom than out on the ice. So, of course it would turn out that the ridiculously charming Russian he's matched with online is a pornstar.But perhaps, a 'professional opinion' is exactly what Yuuri needs... [Online Dating AU, Pornstar!Victor, WIP] Each Sip Like Starlight by cloverfield (NC-17, 13.7k) Summary: “Come quickly, I am drinking the stars!” ― Dom Perignon There are two beds here – both identical, made up neat with hotel linen and pillows piled high. They’re only going to need one. That Animal Burned Down by Vita_Orlando (NC-17, 12k, WIP) Summary: “You were quite spectacular last night.” Victor went on. “What did I-“ Yuuri was actually too horrified to ask. “Oh, you just danced. Wonderfully well, in fact.” That didn’t sound so bad. But clearly there was more to the night than just dancing, because here Yuuri was. In Victor Nikiforov’s hotel room. In Victor Nikiforov’s bed. “Did we . . . “ Yuuri hoped Victor understood what he was asking, because he couldn’t bring himself to say the words. “Dance together?” Victor lowered his voice to a rumble that felt like warm honey rolling down Yuuri’s spine. “Oh, yes. I haven’t enjoyed myself so much in years.” [Canon Divergence, WIP]

[thisgirlhastales]

Heyo! So, I was curious: in the "Objects In Motion" universe, I was wondering exactly what kind of things Lance and Keith do to make each other flustered and embarrassed and stuff like that. You said Lance became a master of "Making Keith Lose His Cool In All Ways ;)", plus he had some SERIOUS game on the pirate adventure, and that kinda peaked my interest XD

Ah, now that I have angsty space cowboy stuff done, I can answer your question :D Sorry for the delay, honey! *ponders* 

Well, I’m just gonna focus on Lance for a sec: Lance is already pretty confident in his flirting, as we’ve seen in canon. He’s definitely over-the-top, and he doesn’t always know when to turn it off, but his charming cheesiness definitely has an effect on some people (i.e. certain mermaids, and a couple of alien shoppers ;D). But it’s a little different with Keith, since they’re already dating … 

Basically, this is what happens …

Lance actually likes arguing with Keith. He’d discovered this a while back, before they started going out, but now it’s extra fun — there’s always a smile playing at the corner of Keith’s mouth, their insults are far more creative, playful, and sometimes even flirty. Keith can flirt, and Lance is really, really bad at hiding how much that gets to him. And Keith knows it, so even if he’s kind of awkward about it sometimes, Lance still blushes and stammers, and it’s not fair.

That is, until, he discovers that he has his own power over Keith. And then all bets are off.

“Man, that was a steep drop,” Keith complains, rubbing at his hip. “Pidge could’ve waited to turn the gravity back on.”

“Ah, angel, did it hurt?” Lance asks, grinning widely as he takes off his helmet, his hair damp and sticking to his forehead. “You know, when you fell from heaven?”

Keith gapes at him. “Really? Really, Lance?” 

At the time, Lance chalks up the red flush in Keith’s cheeks to the wild fight they’d just been through, to the use of yet another silly nickname in Lance’s quest to find the perfect one, but then, later on in the kitchen …

It was too much fun to prompt that irritated look on Keith’s face, and so Lance holds Keith food up over his head, because he can, because that one and a half extra inch of height makes a difference, and Keith just glares at him, arms crossed. It’s too damn cute, and Lance winks at him, saying, “Listen, it’s important — I gotta tell you that if you were a fruit, you’d be a fineapple.”

And then he presents Keith his bowl of pineapple flavoured goo with a wide, proud grin on his face.

Keith is blushing while he snatches his food away and huffs his way to a table. Lance is delighted.

Oh, it’s on now. 

 “Hey, Keith!” Lance calls across the hanger after they’ve landed on a new planet for yet another diplomatic mission. They’re dressed formally, and Keith looks especially nice in simple Altean finery. He shoots Lance a quizzical look.

“You must be peanut butter because you make my legs feel like jelly.” 

Pidge and Hunk each take a turn smacking the back of Lance’s head as they pass by, but Lance is too happy watching Keith flustered and floundering for a comeback to care.

Keith complains about the nicknames, but the pick-up lines he rarely comments on. He just glares while blushing, or gapes as his ears go red, or tells Lance to knock it off, we’re in the middle of a Galra base, holy crap, Lance, focus. 

That changes when they’re sitting together on the observation deck’s couch, on one of their casual dates; Lance lights up as he remembers yet another fabulous line while staring at Keith’s feet resting on a pillow. “Oh, hey, lemme tie your shoe laces!”

Keith sits up straight to stare at him. “Um, my boots don’t have any —”

“’Cause I don’t want you falling for anyone else,” Lance finishes happily.

That familiar light dusting of pink starts at Keith’s cheeks, spreads to his neck and ears. Lance is laughing, and then Keith blurts out, “Are you joking around, or … or do you actually mean it?”

Lance stops laughing. “Wait, what?”

“I mean, I get that you’ve always been … but now that we’re together, are you just, like … unable to break the habit, or something?” Keith drops his gaze to his lap, trying to act indifferent. “It’s fine, by the way, even funny sometimes, I just wonder —”

“Um, Keith, I don’t flirt with people I’m not attracted to?” Lance says, confused and somewhat alarmed. “A habit? … Yeah. Yeah it is. As in, I habitually flirt with the hottest person in the room. And that’s always you.”

Keith lifts his head up, eyes wide. He’s red, absolutely fire engine red, and Lance thrills at the sight, feels himself warming up as Keith blinks and says in a hoarse voice, “Oh. Okay.” He clears his throat. “They’re terrible lines.”

Lance smiles, honest and affectionate as he replies, “Yeah, but I mean every word of them. You are stupidly fine, you routinely give me weak knees, and I want you all to myself, so please ignore any number of charming aliens who might try to steal you away.” He wraps his arms around Keith, pulling him into his chest so he can kiss the top of his head. “I’ve always been kind of jealous of how cool you are, but now I’m also aware of how pretty you are too, and it’s kinda unfair, dude. How dare you?”

“You’re the handsome one,” Keith mutters against Lance’s neck. “And you know it, jackass.”

Lance laughs into messy black hair. “Then trust me — it takes one to know one.”

Keith snorts and shifts in Lance grip. Somehow they’ve ended up reclined, Keith half on top of Lance, and he lifts himself up using his arms on either side of Lance’s shoulders, looks down at him so fondly that Lance feels a pleasant ache start up in his chest.  

“Hey, Lance?” he says quietly.

“Yeah?”

“I was feeling a little off today … But you definitely turned me on.”

Lance goggles at his boyfriend for what feels like a solid minute before he cracks up and drags him down by his shirt collar. It ends up with him wheezing as Keith crashes his full weight into him, and Lance’s arm is weirdly pinned between them, but that doesn’t stop him from kissing the smile on Keith’s face, giggling into his mouth. 

And he keeps on practicing his one-liners, his honest, no-holds-barred compliments and sweet promises, relishing each and every hitched breath from his boyfriend, until Lance is probably smooth enough to pick up any hot alien from here all the way back to Earth … But Keith, Keith is the only one he ever wants to use his flirtations on because, as he tells his boyfriend one day, “You know, pudding-pop, you may not actually need a nickname …”

“Oh really? Does that mean this torture will end?” Keith flashes a quick teasing grin.

Lance winks back. “All I want to call you is mine.”

And there’s the blush, and the stutter, and nothing in the universe makes Lance as happy as charming the hell out of his Red Paladin.

Ta-dah! Look at how stupidly fluff this is. This is what happens when I write angst non-stop and then switch over to happier things. It’s like I need to be ridiculously overly sweet to compensate. *sighs* Well, I hope this worked for you! I had to look up those pick-up lines by the way — I definitely do not have the right mind to come up with stuff as wonderfully cheesy as that ;)

Edit April 2020: Now posted on AO3 :)

[sulietsexual]

buffy ask number 12 and why?

12. Top five (characters/seasons/episodes/ships).

(I’m not including characters who started on BtVS but got better growth on AtS such as Angel, Darla or Wes, as this ask meme was specifically for BtVS. Also, if I include AtS characters my entire list will be comprised of them, as I much prefer the AtS characters to the BtVS ones).

Characters:

Tara Maclay, because she’s the living embodiment of beautiful cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure. Tara is such a gentle, wise soul, always there for everyone and completely unaware of how special and amazing she is.

Xander Harris, my problematic fave, my poor abused, neglected idiot, I really love Xander for the fact that he isn’t perfect, for the fact that he makes so many mistakes but keeps growing and changing, becoming a better person as the season go on. He has such an amazing arc and so much character growth and he’s hated to such ridiculous degrees.

Dawn Summers, for reasons listed in this ask. But honestly, Dawn is a great character, resilient, creative, funny and with a great character ask and a lot of growth.

Daniel Osbourne, who is such a quiet and wise soul, always observing but rarely engaging. I love his monosyllabic ways, his stoicism, the intense degree to which he loves and will protect Willow and his hilarious dry wit. It’s a pity he never came back to the series.

… I am actually really struggling to come up with a fifth. Even adding Oz was just to stretch the numbers, as aside from Tara, Dawn and Xander, I don’t have a lot of love for the characters of BtVS, unless I count Cordy and Angel, both of whom I really only love once they cross over onto AtS.

Seasons:

Season 5, because I feel it has the best and most cohesive arc, it contains my absolute favourite BtVS villain, and the finale is the best season finale of BtVS.

Season 2, because I am the most hardcore Bangel on the face of the planet, the Angelus arc is great, Spike and Dru are great, and there are some amazing episodes in the season, not to mention an amazing and heartbreaking season finale.

Season 3, because I love Faith, love the Mayor, there are some brilliant episodes (The Wish, Doppelgangland, The Prom, Graduation Day) and the season moves at a really good pace.

Season 1, because I just love the campiness and the wonderfully kitsch monsters-of-the-week, plus I have a real soft spot for first seasons because everything is new and fresh and unemcumberd by plot holes and spotlight stealing characters.

Season 4, because, despite its lacklustre arc, there are some amazing gem hidden in the episodes, such as Hush, Something Blue, The Freshman and Restless.

Episodes

The Gift, because it’s the best example of a perfect episode, well-written, well-paced, packs an emotional punch with an amazing climax and heartbreaking resolution.

Becoming, because I’m a sucker for Bangel pain, and on a technical level, it’s a brilliant episode.

The Prom, again, because I just love Bangel-y goodness (and pain) plus it’s just an amazing episode overall.

(and 5.) What My Line Pts 1 & 2, because they’re an amazing two-parter, there’s more Bangel goodness, and I love Spike and Dru in these episodes, not to mention the introduction of Kendra.

Ships

Bangel, just go through my Bangel Tag to see why. These two are amazing and beautiful and heartbreaking and I love them so much.

Xander/Cordy, because underneath the sniping and insecurity there is a real connection and I have always believed that they would make it as a couple once they grew into adulthood and both matured, given that they end up quite similar and play similar roles in their respective groups.

Pre-Season 6 Willow/Tara, because until Season 6, they were the healthiest, most balanced and most beautiful ship on BtVS.

Willow/Oz, because they’re adorable and adore each other, and if Tara had never been introduced, I would have been more than happy for Willow to end up with Oz.

Giles/Jenny, because their connection is so sweet and new and fresh and they obviously are so smitten with one another and they complement one another, being so different and at the same time so similar.

[sextoyorgasm]

Pretty Little Sluts - Jules Jordan Video

New Post has been published on http://sextoyorgasm.com/noticias-sobre-sexualidad-y-jugueteria-sexual/pretty-little-sluts-jules-jordan-video/

Pretty Little Sluts - Jules Jordan Video

This gonzo title stars four young babes — with high points, indeed, going to ultra-foxes Ivy Wolfe and Gina Valentina — getting their tonsils, twats and (in the case of darling Gina) turd bins blasted way open. Cunt-sequently, “Pretty Little Sluts” is an all-around wanking winner.

We start off with blonde sweetie Khloe Kapri putting in a good blowjob (lotsa spit) and whose best position is absolutely doggie, with Manny sticking digits up her anus to make things even more arousing. And it works!

Ivy Wolfe, one of my favorite newer porn starlets, is up next, and she’s a revelation, as always. Not only is Wolfe positively gorgeous, but she has nice little titties, a marvelous spinner’s body and one killer pair of ass cheeks. Manny takes full advantage of all of these amazing physical attributes (and I don’t blame the very lucky bastard!). Wolfe gives a fine deepthroat of a BJ and is totally incredible in the cowgirl and doggie positions, with that ridiculously fine ass of hers looking abso-fucking-lutely perfect. Can’t wait to see more of this all-around tasty nymph. Sllll-urp!!!

Gina Valentina is another one of my favorite XXX chickadees, and she, like Ivy, totally excels (as usual) in her scene, even taking it up the fuckin’ dumpster (thank you, Gina baby!). Valentina gives a crazed BJ with lotsa spit, before doing some memorable spoon and doggie, which she repeats, as well as cowgirl, with Manny meat up her crapper. We get some wonderfully romantic gapes during doggie, too! Like Wolfe, Gina’s loaded with cuteness, charisma and carnality. I wanna see more of this delectable — and dirty! — damsel, as well!

Lastly, we have Nina North, another exotic-looking pixie like Gina, with the biggest pair o’ boobies in the movie (100-percent natural!) and she sucks one mean prick; her tits are big enough to fuck, by the way, and those bodacious ta-tas are particularly enjoyable to watch in the spoon, reverse-cowgirl and missionary positions, while her juicy ass is magnificently spotlighted during cowgirl and doggie. Nina’s definitely slots o’ fun!

Definitely check out the aptly titled “Pretty Little Sluts,” most especially drop-dead gorgeous and hypnotically sexy Ivy Wolfe and Gina Valentina. Love ‘em! Source link