#or thats what i think it was about. it spoke to me very strongly and gave me insane things to aspire to in life <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[quixoticanarchy]

someone help me find this post I saw maybe a year ago, idk - it was this person explaining how if there was a guarantee they'd survive they would really like to be stung terribly by jellyfish just to see what it's like and try to attempt some kind of understanding through pain of what is incommunicable and defies comprehension across the barrier of species and language and mind. etc. ??

[ifimdreaming]

can i take you home?

luke hughes x reader || angst, fluff

request: “i like the idea of her best friend going to michigan/dating a former teammate of lukes so thats how luke and reader meet! i love angst and given that its lukes rookie year/she goes to college in another state, maybe they could be friends w benefits but both have strong feelings.”

author's note: i thought this request was so so cute so i kind of took it and ran. also kinda influenced by i miss you, im sorry by gracie abrams. this is also super long but i hope the ending is worth it. let me know if i should do more parts of this!

word count: 5.0k

-

Waking up to the sound of your best friend pounding on the guest bedroom door at 7am was not exactly the best way to start your day. But since you are staying the weekend in her student house that she shares with 5 other people, there are definitely unluckier ways you could have been awoken. 

“Morning sleepy head!!! I'm so happy you're up!” your best friend Emma almost shouts as she barges in the room, after you very reluctantly told her she could come in. She immediately begins opening the curtains, and rummaging through her closet to find her outfit for the day.

In her haste she almost spills the two cups of coffee she had brought up from the kitchen as she sets them on the dresser beside the bed, her mug being almost completely empty anyway. You can tell by her enthusiasm and caffeine intake that she has been up for quite a long time before deciding to wake you up. 

You groggily roll over and face away from the wide open curtains, not ready to face the day yet and really disappointed in yourself for choosing to drive up so late last night in the first place.

Of course you were happy to be able to visit your best friend, the two of you going to different schools making it incredibly hard to spend much time together anymore. But being back here brought back so many memories of the last time you visited. Both good and bad. And to be honest, all you could think about was him. From the very moment Emma invited you, he has been on your mind nonstop. 

The way he made you feel so utterly adored when he brought you back to his room, how he spoke to you so gently and quietly the one morning when you were hungover, the time he spilled and called you ‘his’ while you were in bed together, and how much it seemed like it would last forever. It was all coming back so strongly.

“So, what are the plans for the day Little Miss Sunshine?” you sit up, reluctantly speaking your first words of the day after clearing your throat. 

“Well! First I thought we'd go get bagels for breakfast from down the street, and then I think one of us may need a quick shower before we officially start our day…” Emma says with a hand on the side of her mouth, pretending to be saying a secret as she is side-eyeing you, and you just stare at her offendedly, “Aaand we are doing something tonight so maybe we should go shopping..” she says quickly and excitedly, clearly brushing past what exactly it is that we are doing tonight.

“Alright then.” you say as you check your phone for probably the 20th time in the 10 minutes you've been awake. And you can see Emma staring at you from the corner of your eye so you decide to throw your phone to the other side of the bed, getting up and ready to go. You knew she wasn't oblivious, but you did not want to acknowledge the look she was giving you right now, and honestly it did not seem necessary to bring anything up.

Besides, this weekend isn't even about him. Dylan's surprise birthday party is tomorrow and your best friend was so excited to be planning it with your help. She hadn't done anything this extravagant for her boyfriend before and she wanted everything to be absolutely perfect.

Obviously the last thing you would want to do is ruin this weekend for her, and your stupid feelings and non-relationship are included in that.

-

The walk to the bagel shop seemed awkwardly long as you were both not acknowledging the fact that your mind is very very distracted. It wasn't intentional. But feelings and places have such strong connections and the fact that things felt so unresolved was not helping. Everywhere you are here reminds you of him.

“How's your bagel?” Emma speaks up, finally breaking the silence on your walk home, thankfully giving you an opportunity to get out of your thoughts.

“Oh it's good! Thanks! I was super hungry…” you say, trying to muster up a believable enough reason for why you've been so off today. 

You continue walking and shuffling your feet in silence and are about to return back to the house before Emma looks at you and sighs loudly.

So. Close. You are literally about to step onto the driveway of the house when she stops you. 

“Ok can we just talk about it please? Because there is no way we are going to get through this entire weekend just ignoring it.” she says, stepping in front of you and blocking any sort of way for you to get out of this conversation. 

“What are you talking about?” you say with a grumble and a sigh. Knowing she is going to get it out of you. Obviously she would.

“Luke.” Emma says deadpan, waiting for your response.

For some reason at this moment you wanted to cry just hearing his name. But you also wanted to yell. Your feelings were confusing and annoying and it upset you to even have to talk about it with someone, even though you knew you should.

“I don't know. I DON'T KNOW. I can't stop thinking about him, and everything is so confusing.” you whisper-yell at her in frustration. 

It pained you to admit that you couldn't get him off your mind. You didn't realise how much you even liked him until having to admit that.

“He visited me during christmas… I mean, he did in the fall, but this time felt different.” You continue,  “We slept together again. Everything felt like it was going so well…And now nothing.” you admit to her and wipe your face with your sleeves, angry at the tears that have fallen from your eyes. 

“Has he called?” She asks warily.

“Once? Last week. It was short… but he sounded sad. He said he misses me. And he told me he really wanted to visit me. And I've texted him since then and no response.” you look down at your feet as you speak. It really shouldn't be this embarrassing to admit. It's not like you were in a relationship with him anyway.

“He's going to be here...tomorrow? I didn't know if you knew..” Emma says as she grabs your arm and slowly brings you close to her as you begin walking inside together and you nod your head in her direction.

You knew he would be here. Dylan is one of his best friends, obviously he isnt going to miss his 21st birthday. But with how things were currently going, it honestly made you wonder if Luke would even want you here. And what do his friends even know about you two? Has Luke said anything? So many questions are going through your head that it is almost making you dizzy.

-

The rest of the day is so much lighter after your earlier conversation. Emma is exponentially good at cheering people up, and maybe even to a fault, will always be on your side no matter what. But you appreciated it regardless.

You are currently finishing up putting on your makeup and getting ready to go out tonight, still very unaware of what the plan even is. But you didn't have much of a choice in the matter as Emma has picked out every aspect of your outfit tonight - down to the shoes, makeup, and jewellery.

Suddenly Emma gets a call from Dylan and runs into her bathroom to answer the phone, the music cutting out that was playing from her phone as she heads off, and silence filling the room.

You weren't intending to be eavesdropping, but you are able to hear muffled voices from the other side of the door and very hushed arguing that you couldn't quite make out. Making you curious as to what could possibly be going on tonight.

Emma saunters back into the room with hesitancy, her expression is scared and concerned at the same time as she is approaching you almost in slow-motion, saying nothing.

“What is it? Just spit it out.” you say, already knowing you are either about to hear the worst news of all time or the worst news of all time.

“Ok surprise! We're going out for sushi! Yay!” Emma says, obviously starting with the good news and you stay silent.

“And…Luke is coming out with us.” she continues, flinching at her own words as she plops herself on the bed across from you. You sit at her desk, makeup in hand, and cannot help but have an absolutely astonished look on your face. 

Nothing is able to even leave your mouth as her words run through your mind again and again.

“I am so SO sorry.” She starts. “One of the guys accidentally told Dylan that Luke is in town and I didn’t want to ruin the surprise for tomorrow, so I told Dylan that Luke and I were trying to surprise him tonight for dinner. I didn't know what else to say. It was literally the first thing that came to my mind. I'm so sorry.” she continues, worried she has done irreparable damage on your friendship.

“You can kill me now.” Emma blurts out defeatedly, wanting to keep the surprise for tomorrow and not wanting all her efforts to be ruined the day before the party.

Obviously you love that girl, but very much did want to kill her in this moment.

“Does Luke know I'm going to be there?” you ask, brushing past everything else she has said.

“Dylan said he would tell him, yeah, but if you don't want to come please don't feel like you have to.” she says with a small smile, hoping you have some-what forgiven her.

“No, I'll still come.” you say quietly but matter-of-factly.

If Luke knew you were coming, it would be weird if you decided to stay home now because of it, and besides, what would you do here alone? Thinking of what he would be doing and wishing you could read his mind is all you can think of.

“OH? This is good! Ok! Dylan said he is picking us up in 20 minutes!” Emma states, suddenly very excitedly, hoping it will cheer you up to see that she is excited. And as you continue getting ready, nervous energy and anticipation fill your body.

- 

Dylan shows up right on time, unfortunately for you, not giving you any extra time to sit and wallow in your feelings.

It was inevitable that you would be seeing Luke this weekend, but this quickly and under these conditions was not exactly ideal. You were hoping to at least be able to have a one-on-one conversation with him before being thrown into random get togethers where things have no chance but to be awkward.

The drive to dinner is surprisingly happy. Dylan seems so excited to be seeing his best friend again. He can't stop talking about the last time they saw each other and how long it has been. And Emma's laughter and giddy energy is helping you calm down and distract you just a little bit.

“The reservation is for 7pm so we might have to wait in the car for a few minutes.” Emma says, checking her phone as Dylan pulls up to the restaurant a bit early. 

The dim lighting and intimate booths look extremely inviting as you peer inside the windows of the restaurant from the parking lot. You can't help but get distracted by watching people inside as Emma and Dylan talk from the front seats of the car and are cutely chatting to each other quietly.

“There's my boy!” Dylan yells out as he jumps out of the driver's seat, running up to give Luke a hug across the parking lot.

“Ready?” Emma looks back and asks you, reassuringly placing her hand on your knee and rubbing her thumb up and down a few times.

“Guess so…” you say with a fake smile as you grab your purse from beside you, and as you are about to leave the car, you see a tall figure standing right outside your door.

Only a little bit startled, you look up to see Luke as he opens your door for you and greets you with a tired smile. He is dressed nicely in black pants and a cream cable knit sweater, his hair curly and tousled up like always. 

As you step out of the car he brings you into a tight hug, like he just couldn't wait to hold you again.

“I missed you…” Luke whispers so quietly into your ear that you almost couldn't hear him. He swiftly leaves a gentle kiss to the side of your head as he brings his hands just a bit lower down your back, “I’m sorry” he says quietly as he releases you.

As much as you want to reciprocate, you are so caught off guard by his words that you just stare up at him without a word.

“Alright let's go! I'm so hungry!” Dylan says, unaware of the tension, as he pats Luke's back and wraps an arm around him, walking in front of you and Emma and into the restaurant. 

Emma is glancing at you as you walk together, waiting to hear from you what Luke said, but you decide to ignore it with a shrug and she looks away. 

-

Dinner is filled with laughter and catching up with one another. Surprisingly it wasn't even half as awkward as you built it up to be. Dylan chatting away with Luke as you and Emma giggle across from each other about all the drama at your respective schools. 

Having a couple of drinks throughout the night was definitely helping, but regardless of that, you felt good. Really good.

“Luke, how's the love life going for you? You got a girl in Jersey?” Dylan asks with a laugh as Emma had just bragged about her and Dylan going on 2 years of being together.

She shoots you a regretful look as she hits Dylan's side with her elbow, not as discreetly as she probably wanted to, and your face turns bright red.

Luke looks down at his lap and shakes his head with a chuckle, seemingly avoiding eye contact with you at all costs.

“No man, no girl in jersey.” Luke says lightly as he takes a drink of his beer before the two of you make eye contact and he glances down to your fidgety hands that are in your lap. 

“My bad, my bad…” Dylan says with a laugh as he clears his throat and starts back to finishing the food on his plate, Emma quietly shushing her clueless boyfriend beside her.

Your nervous hands continue to pick at your cuticles and you look over to see Luke inching his hand closer beside yours on the booth bench. Looking up from your lap, you see him glancing back at you as he waits for your reaction before discreetly taking your hand in his under the table.

The feeling of his hand in yours is so comforting and familiar and immediately eases your anxiousness. But you still feel so conflicted.

Luke always knew how to comfort you and distract you from your thoughts when they were out of control. Especially during busy school semesters and many nights spent together with him keeping you company while you anxiously wrote papers and prepped for exams. 

He seemed to be there for you when it felt like you had no one else. At least that's how it used to feel. Now things feel so complicated. Not knowing the status of your relationship surprisingly taking a much larger toll on your ability to act like friends than you would have ever thought.

“So! I've got the bill tonight guys. Happy birthday Dyl!” Emma blurts out as the waiter approaches the table, she leans over to give her boyfriend a loving kiss, comfortably filling the awkward silence that had just taken over the table not long before.

“Thank you baby! And hey! thanks guys for coming out tonight too.” Dylan smiles at the both of you as he lifts up his glass for a toast. You all clink your glasses, wishing him happy birthdays that follow big swigs of your almost empty alcoholic beverages.

Walking out of the restaurant, your mind fills with running thoughts. You wish you had spoken to Luke more tonight but it was hard to not make anything obvious. He seemed good, but still weirdly sad and you wanted to talk to him about it so badly. You wanted to talk to him about everything.

As you near Dylan's car you feel Luke's hand brush against yours and lightly hold your wrist, turning you around to face him.

“Can I take you home?” Luke shyly asks you as you all stand in the parking lot together. You mutter a “sure” under your breath with a nod, and he looks to Dylan and Emma for confirmation, both of them nodding in agreement before bringing you into tight hugs and saying goodbyes.

“Tell me everything that happens girly.” Emma runs back over to you and whispers into your ear as she hugs you goodbye once more, and all you can do is let out a small laugh in response to her teenage-esque behaviour.

-

After Dylan and Emma drive away, the short walk over to Luke’s car suddenly seems agonisingly long and your heart is racing in anticipation. Over anything else that happens tonight, you really wanted clarity. But of course, thoughts of the worst possible outcome ever sneak their way into your mind.

Luke opens the passenger side door for you and you climb into his car before he gently closes the door and walks to the other side. As he gets in, he begins to start the car before he looks over to you and pauses, the quiet becoming almost painful. 

You didn't know what to say, and you didn't want to say the wrong thing. So, waiting for him to break the silence seemed to be your best bet.

“I know I should have thought of something to say…” He starts, and shuffles in his seat, slightly bending his right leg so he is facing you a little more.

“I'm sorry. I shouldn't have stopped responding to you.” Luke continues, and you almost want to roll your eyes at his apology. It was so hard to be understanding when this felt like such a preventable situation on his part.

But you knew Luke. You knew when he was scared he got distant. You knew he was pulling back from you. You just didnt know why.

“Things have been so…weird…lately, and I just…I know I fucked up.” He confesses.

You didn't want to be reading between the lines anymore. You just wanted him to be honest with you about what he wants, and it frustrated you that he was being so vague.

“Luke, what do you want? Like, from me?” you ask innocently, but squint your eyes closed tightly as the words coming out of your mouth sound completely different from what you intended.

“Like, you told me we were friends. And obviously I was ok with that. But when you would visit me, we’d sleep together. And when you left it was like. I don't know…” you look down and pick at your fingers as you speak, looking up at him feeling like an almost impossible task.

“You told me you wanted to be friends.” Luke states, and gently grabs your hand. He holds it in his to stop you from destroying your fingers as you speak, which causes you to look up at him, thanking him silently, as he waits on your response.

“I said that because I knew how hard it would be for us to be so far away from each other.” you say strongly, feeling the sudden need to defend yourself.

“You know how important school is to me, and I know how important your career is to you. I don't want to distract you from what's important to you. I don't want to be the one that gets in the way of things, or be the reason why you're not as focused as you could be…as much as I want to be-” you begin to confess, but are quickly cut off.

“It's kinda too late for that…” Luke says with a chuckle as he tilts his head back against the headrest of his seat and looks out the front window, frustration still evidently seen on his face.

“What do you mean??” you ask, hoping he will elaborate a little more than he has been so far.

“You already distract me. I can't stop thinking about you. And it's obvious. In my game and everything too. Even Jack has noticed and he keeps asking me about you and I don't even know what to say. I can't shut him up. Cuz how am I supposed to tell him how I feel when I can't even tell you? Its actually really fuckin annoying.” he laughs as he explains, still looking ahead out the window instead of at you. 

Luke has always sought to use humour and jokes in difficult situations, especially when it comes to his own feelings. He's clearly frustrated at himself and it hurts you to see him having such a hard time expressing himself.

“So why have you been so distant lately?! I’ve been really worried about you.” you say, suddenly feeling more confident in confronting him as he opens up to you.

“Cuz im scared im gonna fuck things up even more than I already have…” he says honestly as he turns his head to look at you again.

“I knew I should've said something from the moment we slept together the first time. I feel like I fucked up by keeping my mouth shut. It's been ruining my life to not just be honest with you.” he adds with a growl deep in his voice, anger at himself seeping through his words.

As he continues, you can't help but feel entranced by him in his current state, and suddenly you are very aware of how late at night it is becoming. 

“It's my fault...” Luke says, and you desperately try to focus on his words and not his body. 

But you can't help but think about how good his hands would feel on your body and how badly you want him to kiss you right here and now. You didn't care that you were still in the parking lot of a sushi restaurant. You didn't care that things were still so confusing and that this probably wasn't exactly the most ideal time to be feeling this way. You just felt like you needed him so badly.

“I've been treating you like shit lately. Regardless of us sleeping together, that should not change how I treat you. I've been a shitty friend to you, and I'm really really sorry.” he continues, and you are brought out of your trance. 

His words hit you so hard. You both unknowingly made this relationship so complicated and weren't even aware of it. You knew Luke was not perfect, but for some reason you expected him to be able to read your mind, and vice versa. Even after being the one to say you should stay friends, you were silently upset that nothing was happening in the way you wanted.

“Luke, it's ok. Both of us have not been entirely honest with each other lately and it's made everything so… fucked up. We’re just… in a weird spot.” you say, hoping your words make any sense considering you zoned out for half of his apology.

“Can I just say that I want to be able to fix this?” Luke says as he places his hand on your thigh, his fingers mindlessly getting higher and higher as he rubs slowly back and forth. Trying his best to soothe you and unknowingly turning you on even more.

“It isn't just on you to fix.” you say as you place your hand softly over his, stopping his movement on your leg as to not let it overly distract you.

“Yes it is. I let you down. I fucked up by being so fucking…distant. I should've been more clear about what I want…that I want you..” Luke admits, giving into what he has wanted to say from the moment you got into the car together.

His eyes are fixed on yours and it makes your heart flutter in your chest. Hearing him so confidently confess how he is feeling after so long is such a relief. It makes you want to just tell him you love him right here and now.

“I know things are complicated…but, I really don't want to not have you in my life���” Luke adds as tears begin to well in his eyes, catching you both off guard.

“Oh Lukey.” you whisper as you hold his face in your hands, your heart melting at the sight of him. 

Luke places his hands on your wrists, pulling them away from his face as he finally leans into you. 

His lips hit yours with an intensity that you have never felt before from him. His hands move away from yours, and to the base of your neck, gently pulling you closer into him as he deepens the kiss. 

Your eyes are glued shut as you are entranced by his lips finally being connected with yours as his tongue dances around in your mouth. 

Needing to have your hands on him, you reach up to brush his face with your thumbs and then begin gently tugging at the curls at the nape of his neck, causing him to lustfully groan deep into your mouth. Your mind is filled with excitement and intensity as the moment grows in mutual desire.

“I needed you baby.” You say rushedly, disconnecting with him for only a moment.

Luke smiles against your lips as you connect again, and he places his left hand on your hip, massaging his fingers into your side. You lift yourself lightly onto the centre-console, desperate to be as close to him as you can get, and he lowers his hand just below your ass to help support you.

Although being in the close quarters of Luke's car while having such a monumental conversation about your relationship was not quite ideal, you were so thankful for it at this moment.

“I needed you too.” Luke says after coming up for air, and you just stare at him with a dizzy smile, your head reeling with arousal.

He pecks your lips a few times before lowering his head to your collarbone, gently kissing your neck and leaving red marks where he most definitely has before.

Your giggles fill the car as he continues expeditiously exploring your body, wanting to savour every moment of your presence and relishing in the way he is pleasing you.

Luke looks up at you with a smile before his eyebrows furrow and he is distracted by something behind you, causing you to whip your head around to look out your window, immensely alarmed at his expression. 

Luke lightly lets go of you, allowing you to sit properly in your seat and as your eyes focus on the window, the sight of a kind-looking restaurant hostess tapping on the glass outside of your door almost sends you reeling into a panic. 

Luke quickly reassures you with a laugh, placing his hand on your arm and starting the car before beginning to roll your window down for them to speak.

“I am so sorry if I startled you, but our restaurant has closed, which means we can no longer allow you to park here, as free parking ends at midnight.” the hostess explains politely while pointing to the sign posted on the brick wall just in front of Luke's car. 

“Thanks Ma’am. We’re so s-sorry.” Luke pauses to hide his face, clearly hiding that he is about to break into laughter.

“We’ll leave right aw-” Luke laughs out, hardly able to finish his sentence before being sent into a fit of silent laughter.

“We’re so sorry. Have a good night!” you say more seriously, trying to make up for the completely unserious boy beside you.

“Goodnight guys!” the hostess says as she walks away, leaving you completely embarrassed and also scared half to death.

Luke continues dying of laughter and is hunched over the steering wheel as you punch his arm repeatedly to get his attention.

“That was awful! Why are you laughing so hard!” you say unimpressed, but still unable to hold back laughter of your own after seeing him look up at you with tears in his eyes.

“Fuck. I can't get over your face.” Luke says as he begins to come down a little, wiping the tears from his eyes. You just shake your head and begin to buckle your seatbelt, not taking any chances of having to be asked to leave once more.

“Fuck.” he says once more with a sigh, relaxing in his seat and looking over to you with a genuine smile before patting your thigh reassuringly.

You look to Luke expectantly and he stares back at you with a smirk before kissing your lips passionately, catching you off guard. 

Your hands are drawn to his face as he nudges your chin with his, causing you to lean into him even further before he pulls away from you abruptly.

“Can I take you home?” Luke asks with lust in eyes as he brushes his thumb across your cheek, admiring every single feature on your face. His words having a different meaning to both of you than they have previously tonight.

“For real this time?? Because you know we cant sit in this parking lot any longer…” you say jokingly as Luke rolls his eyes at you and begins to put his seatbelt on.

“Yes, for real this time.” He retorts. His right hand eagerly finding yours as he interlocks your fingers with his, bringing your hand up to his lips to place a tender kiss before finally driving off.

-

-

[bonefall]

Golfy is literally one of my favorite cats of all time and I adore the way you’ve characterized her!! Any fun tidbits to share? I want to know more about the woman

There's a sketch of her floating around if you want to go on a treasure hunt! I don't have time to look for it right now (I am currently in the trunk of a clown car), but I've actually drawn a beta of her design and her big mane

Also note: BB!Goldenflower is part of the Doekin line. Speckletail's perception of herself and her family is tied strongly to being Doestar's niece. This association dies out with Thornclaw in BB!OotS as he's the last one to strongly value this legacy.

Golfy's mane is so poofy, unmanageabley poofy. She keeps it braided

Lionheart just surrendered to entrophy on that one lmao. "Dirt happens."

It's my little way of trying to show the difference between the siblings.

They're both proud and honorable, but Lionheart is more calm and patient. He's a Que Sera Sera kind of guy.

Goldenflower is more fond of the expression, "Fortune favors the prepared."

Note to self: Clanmewnize these expressions. Que Sera Sera is notably quite RiverClannish... Golfy's phrase is definitely from early ThunderClan

Not to get too distracted but I recently got this FANTASTIC idea for how to close out Book 3 of BB!DOTC on a bittersweet note, involving The First Boarhunt and Clear Sky being delightfully devious as always. Maybe it would be cool to put that phrase there... anyway.

She had three siblings total, Lionheart, Mistleclaw, and Snowkit. It's really difficult being the last one; family was extremely important to her.

Mistleclaw wasn't even a year out of apprenticeship; you're really considered an ADULT adult after being on your own for a year. Losing her was like losing a sibling who's college-aged. That was to the plague, before Firestar's arrival.

Smallear was openly the father of all four of them, but Goldenflower hesitates to call him Ba. Him and Speckletail had a really toxic on-again off-again thing.

Smallear was closest to Mistleclaw, who coincidentally looked the most like him. Goldenflower is like... "yeah thats what i expected of him, that fish-eared loser"

She's biased in favor of her mother though. Lionheart was more chill with Smallear; not CLOSE but, neutral-positive.

It wasn't entirely Smallear's fault that the relationship kept falling apart though, to be clear. I use toxic in this use very much on purpose, it wasn't abuse, they really cannot get along.

So when Goldenflower eventually picked a mate, she REALLY just wanted a stable lifepartner that would not be like that.

I would describe her relationship with Tigerclaw more in the terms of an "arrangement." Fishing for romantic information from her is VERY funny because she just like. Doesn't "get" romance.

Brambleclaw: "Mom... what did you... like about dad?"

"He was large, we were both very large. And he was a responsible warrior, respected and ambitious. Well... at the time we believed that. And he spoke with great confidence. He had a way of making you feel like you were both safe and powerful by his side."

It will not even click for her that most people don't open the answer to "why did you love x" with "he was tall like me"

(VINE BOOM AROACE FLAG)

She wanted kits and a partner. She doesn't regret the relationship, she regrets what he made her believe.

On Tigerclaw's end, it was mutual. They both liked each other as trusted Clanmates. He was attracted to her and reciprocated when she proposed a mateship, but I don't think he ever really got over Spottedleaf romantically.

Plus, getting into this family was a smart political move. Having Speckletail's approval was VERY useful.

I might stick Goldenflower as Head of Hunting through TNP to early Po3, until she trains a successor, since there's no rush. I have an allegiance list floating around but I can't remember off the top of my head if she's where she should be

She's actually super disappointed in Tawnypelt for her choice. I don't think they ever reconcile this, they're both too proud

So she's kinda iffy on that alliance with ShadowClan. Not to the point of spite, but she does easily believe stereotypes about them.

"A bunch of holdouts of TigerClan and duplicitous fiends over there."

Both Golfy and Tawnp miss each other a lot, but again. Neither one is going to apologize to the other or say the other was even slightly correct.

And Golfy wouldn't accept it if Tawnp even did. She made her choice. They're in different Clans now. She chose her father, who killed Swiftpaw and Lionheart.

And for that, Golfy will not forgive her.

If they ended up in a battle, neither would hold back. They both know this.

I'm really fond of her. She really is Speckletail's daughter and the whole family has a special flavor of pain and pride.

[shootthfckp]

its time. time to tell about my headcanons.

tw: mental illness

we start with basis. all fandom consider what riddler is autistic. its really looks like this. asociality, special interests... but listen to me.

he has some symptoms that makes me think differently.

1. he has many obsessions. and this obsessions looks more like obsessions of ocd than of autistic spectrum. its more local and particular thoughts. in the year one he s often can't rid of obsessive thoughts. he s literally saying "i can't help but think". and that s not completely the same like special interests of as. although he has global obsessions too.

2. inadequate affect. most of the time he s completely emotionless. but sometimes he also have emotional episodes. he s throwing up and screaming because of torments, he inflicting selfharm. in the movie edward shouting, laughing and crying very VERY often and strongly. like he s can't control his emotions.

3. hallucinations. or obsessive images. its not very clear. in the year one shown the fearful pictures of disfigured creatures, figure of batman in the window he saw. in one chapter he spoke with stranger who knew his name. and this stranger told him weird and frightening things.

4. asociality. yes, i have mentioned this. but thats fit in my version too. at the same time i don't detect signs of lack of social skills.

this symptoms together looks like... schizotypal disorder. in my opinion, this desease is more for him. based on everything I said above.

SO

this picture headcanon is about his adolescence. during this period edward's desease progressed the most. and i drew the episode of catatonic stupor. it occurs as manifestation of schizophrenic spectrum.

in the future i will tell you more about this. thats all for now. thank you for your attention!

if you want to see old version of this art, look down here

[usmsgutterson]

THE HALLOWEEK OF HURT: DAY SIX

Happy- G.S x gn! tidemaker! reader

all right! Second last day of this event and tomorrows fic is gonna be good! It's another kaz fic and kaz is delightful to write for so yay!

Fic type- I wrote this to help myself work through some shit, so it's hurt/comfort with a dash of resentment

Warnings- genyas trauma is the focus of this fic, but the reader does have trauma thats implied but still left unspecified, so tws for the following: mentions and discussions of sexual assault and rape

You found Genya in the corridor, one of what sometimes felt like the two thousand in the Spinning Wheel. The Queen of Ravka had grabbed her arm, and like it was an old habit risen once more, you had taken the moisture from the air and were ready to drown the Queen at a moments notice.

"Are you aware that your friend is a traitor to the crown?" She asked you, turning a glare on Genya as she fought her arm from the queens grasp.

"Are you aware that you married a rapist?" You asked in turn, glaring at the queen with as much intensity as you could muster. "I would like to very strongly advise that you step away, Tatianna. You are not the queen here and I do not care if it is treason, I will kill you and I will do without a moments guilt."

Genya looked at you, and your gaze met hers, and you found that you wished you could've killed the queen for the sake of it. You wished you could've killed the king, too, wished all of those in the Lantsov bloodline had never so much as existed.

You'd known Genya since the two of you were kids, had loved her and been loved by her since the two of you were sixteen. At twenty, the love had persevered through the beginning of a war, an undoing of the psyche and years of manipulation on the part of the Darkling.

"You wouldn't dare," Tatianna said. "You are being blatantly disrespectful, my subject, and I would suggest that you apologize. I can have you hung on the basis of a threat of treason."

You shrugged. You'd dealt with the Darkling--did Tatianna Lantsov really think she was worse?

"Do it," you said. "You seem to have a plan to persecute my beloved, so if you hang her, might as well hang me too."

"Madraya!" Came the booming shout of the ever-so handsome, and last-standing Lantsov prince. "I told you, you must leave Genya alone, and getting into a mix up with one of the best Tidemakers I've ever seen, who happens to be her fiance? Not a smart move."

You and Genya shared a glance before proceeding down the hallway, her hand in yours, back to the room you shared to spend the time you had until dinner with one another for company.

-

You found Genya on a balcony in the hours later, content to stand there for a moment and watch her watch the snow as it fell amidst a sky the color of darkness.

You approached and grinned as she turned around to face you, holding out one of the mugs of tea you'd managed to secure from the kitchens. She grinned in turn and accepted the mug, sighing happily as the two of you turned back to face the view.

There was the lingering but present idea of a conversation that had not occured yet. Neither of you were too keen to talk about the Darkling but you'd promised each other that you would at some point.

Neither of your experiences with him had been particularly pleasant, and you honestly didn't expect that night to be the one wherein the long awaited conversation took place, but then Genya spoke and you realized it was indeed.

"Do you hate him?" Genya asked. "The Darkling, I mean."

You'd never really thought about it beyond registering that emotion whenever you looked his way.

"I guess, yeah," you said. "I didn't go through nearly as much as you did, though, so my hatred is probably a little one dimensional. I hate him for everything he's done, for placing you onto the Queens staff, for the genocide."

"That's at least three dimensions," Genya said. Your shoulders shook with silent laughter as you took a sip of your tea, and idly, you wondered how you'd managed to get so lucky as to have Genya Safin in your life.

Silence lapsed between the two of you. She grabbed your hand with the one that wasn't holding onto her tea, and you interlaced your fingers within hers before giving her hand a squeeze.

"Do you?" You asked. "Do you hate the Darkling?"

"I didn't know if I did at first," Genya said. "You know how it was--how easy it was to fall into his words, to hang onto them, to believe everything he told you and to take it for the truth."

You remembered those days better than you'd ever admit to anybody outside of Genya Safin. You'd fallen for his charms once, too, for the idea of Ravka as the Grisha safe haven he'd promised, for the innately incredible idea of being able to walk the streets without fearing a slaver might whack you over the back of the head and haul you somewhere to be sold, indentured off to the first person who paid the slavers enough coin.

But the person who the Darkling made himself out to be was not the person he actually was, and you'd accepted that. You'd joined the war on the side of the sun summoner and no matter how foolishly glorious his ideals, there was a way to go about getting to the safe haven he had been promising without expanding the Fold, without killing hundreds of thousands.

"I remember," you said. "But, no matter how easy it was to cling to his words, to cling to the ideas he planted in our minds, he was still an inherently bad person, and you are allowed to hate him if you do because he did something to you that is inherently terrible."

"I do hate him," she said. "And I don't think I'll dance on his grave when he goes, but if I live to see it, I will indeed have to resist the urge. I hate him, I hate the tsar, I hate that so much wrongdoing has taken place and none of them have apologized for any of it, that they never will."

You sighed, and Genya sipped her tea. Her words were too true for the comfort of either of you, and they just held so much weight in them.

The Darkling had not been the one to do to Genya as the King had done, but he'd put her in a position wherein such was able to take place. He was just as responsible for placing Genya on the Queens staff as the king was for the fact that Genya had poisoned him and would likely be the reason he was dead by the following year.

Their downfalls were things of their own creation, and you both hated them with all of the vitriol you could muster. They had created their downfalls, had made their beds. All that was left to do was lie in them, but even as such, your hatred would remain.

"When this war is done," she said. "I will marry you, and then I will heal my wounds. We can be happy if we let ourselves."

You cheers'd your mug against hers. "To healing wounds and being happy once all is said and done," you murmured.

"To getting married and making a party of it, and to the downfall of those who have committed wrongdoing against us."

You pressed a kiss to Genyas lips and let her steal the last of your tea, your heart so content with the love of your life that it was nearly astounding.

You both had lots to heal from, sure, but you would do it when you could, and you would do it together. Doing it together was the only option you had, but you wouldn't have had it any other way

[girlwholoveslpreppyattire]

'Would you like you if you met you?'

I think alot about this question and i kinda go back and forth with the answer

If i met me, i think i would've said 'she's put together yet too shy. She is somehow happy but she thinks a lot which holds her back, a little too emotional, a little too depressed for her age, gets stressed over big ones as well as unnecessary small ones, but she's kind i'd give her that. She is very sentimental and emphatic and obviously not the most optimistic person'

'She genuinely loves being a girl, made her do happy little dances when she sees something girlish . She's funny because she thinks nobody gets 'Pink' like she does and nobody sees it the way she does. People called her for being too feminine and girly her whole life, for being too soft but she's okay with that now'

'She tends to beat around the bush than be straightforward, the kind to contemplate over everything and anything. The type of person to go silent when she's mad at you because she had a hard time opening up , however she knows that she can't use that as an excuse forever , how complex. She crys plentuous, fair amount that gives people an idea that she is weak. But i'd never say that , only because thats her way, her way of healing instead of bursting with rage or exploding with anger'

'She hurts and burns but somehow she never learns, very forgiving almost pathetic, so uncool of her , funny!'

'There are people who are very daring and goes all out , she admits that she's not, but suprizingly she is not ashamed to be timid atleast not now . The type to spoke so cautiously minding everything and everyone, but thats too exhausting she truly needs to manage that for her own sake'

'She got quite a bad traits too, demanding, sad, super anxious, pessimistic, hesitant for absolutely no reason sometimes, fearful;skittish and very sensitive'

'In the meantime, her subtle sweetness, love and care is felt by people close to her. She always tries to be considerate and understanding, she wants to be as mindful and as supportive as she can be. She is respectful to other's opinion but a little expectent from others which is not probably right thing to do. Always in her head that she gets from her family , but one thing that keeps her separate from her family is she's gentle, and fragile that she she feels left out a lot.'

'If u were to meet her, I advice you to be understanding. To hear her out because it takes a little longer than others to get her out. I wish you would speak to her softly because she'd do the same, be gentle when she freaks out. Above all she's quite a person actually so it didn't take much to make her happy , walking and chatting makes her happy, sitting in silence makes her happy, books,skies, coffee,tvshows, music,flowers, rain, plants, wind, literally anything can make her happy. She loves to be at peace and serene surroundings, quiet moments like when the only sound is the birds flying, she lives in her head too much; a bit of a burden for her but she for sure loves that nonetheless . So many more of her to say but my utmost advice is just to be nice. No need for extravagance just be nice, she strongly dislike people who are rude for no reason, speak nice words and act accordingly and she'll come around , she will appreciate that so much '

'Would you like you if you met you?'

My answer is Yes i would like me if i met me. Simply because I am a good person and deserve good things too like every other good person.

🎀🫧🌸🐚💗ིྀ

(My whole life i've been judging myself, i tend to see only what i lack , i am very hard on myself, i push myself so much , i let my insecurities ruin me and don't take compliments well. I have a hard time loving myself , so here i am trying to embrace,my flaws and all that and accepting myself for what i truly am)

[pesterloglog]

Rose Lalonde, Kanaya Maryam, Roxy Lalonde, John Egbert, Terezi Pyrope

Candy, page 17

ROSE: Vriska, don’t chew on your chair’s dinner tray.

KANAYA: Darling She Is Only A Grub She Hasnt Yet Grown Her Aural Canals

ROSE: Yes, but I believe strongly that we should get in the habit of speaking to her like an adult. It will be good for her social development.

KANAYA: Is That How Your Mother Raised You

ROSE: I would have loved it if my mother spoke more frankly with me. But she was...

ROSE: Let’s just say, a rather awkward person.

ROSE: Er. No offense, Roxy.

ROXY: lmao none taken

ROXY: i cant even imagine all the ways id fuck up a kid in a timeline where i didnt sort out my drinking tbh

ROSE: Oh, you weren’t awful.

ROSE: I just have...

ROSE: How do you always put it, dear?

KANAYA: A Penchant For Melodrama

ROXY: well yeah

ROXY: ur dad made sure he got some of himself in u

ROSE: I suppose he did.

ROXY: damn i still cant believe dirks gone tho

ROSE: Yes, it was so sudden.

ROSE: But the best we can do to honor him is simply to move on with our lives.

ROSE: I’m sure it’s what he would have wanted.

JOHN: huh?

KANAYA: Have You Two Thought About What To Name Your Grubs

ROXY: its just one grub lol

KANAYA: Oh Thats A Relief

KANAYA: Ive Actually Been Very Worried About Your Wellbeing Considering How Human Grubs Are Born

ROXY: errrr

ROXY: why

KANAYA: Well Dont They Have To Eat Their Way Out Of The Womb

ROSE: Kanaya...

KANAYA: Its What Karkat Told Me

ROSE: Karkat gets all his information on humanity from the movies. And Dave, which is even worse than the movies.

JOHN: wait a fucking minute.

JOHN: what MOVIES are they watching??

ROSE: Nothing too graphically misleading, I suspect.

ROSE: I equally suspect that any time there’s a human birthing moment on camera, Karkat probably turns away, too disgusted to watch, while Dave continues filling his ear with more lies about human biology.

JOHN: lol.

KANAYA: Then

KANAYA: I Was Given Inaccurate Information

ROSE: Yes.

KANAYA: Whew

ROSE: If that was true, how would our species have survived? We would have had a one hundred percent maternal mortality rate during childbirth.

KANAYA: Yes I Forgot How Primitive Medical Technology Was On Your Planet

KANAYA: Then How Are Humans Born

ROSE: Use your head for a moment, darling.

KANAYA: ...

KANAYA: ...

KANAYA: Oh I See

ROXY: lmao

JOHN: um.

ROSE: I’m sorry, John. All this girl talk must be making you uncomfortable.

JOHN: can we change the subject to something less gross and weird?

ROXY: pff

ROXY: wuss

JOHN: so...

JOHN: is vriska really the name you’re going with?

KANAYA: Yes Of Course

ROSE: Why would we change her name when she’s nearly a year old?

JOHN: well it’s not like it would hurt or anything. didn’t kanaya just say she doesn’t have ears yet?

ROXY: omg john dont be rude

JOHN: i’m not trying to be rude!

JOHN: i just think it’s a little... weird.

KANAYA: I Dont See Why I Mean She Is Practically A Clone Of Vriska

JOHN: uh, yeah kanaya, i know.

JOHN: that’s why it’s weird!

ROSE: I appreciate your concern, John. But it’s not that weird to name a child after an important figure from your youth.

ROSE: What were you thinking of naming your own child?

JOHN: um...

ROXY: harry anderson egbert

JOHN: roxy! we hadn’t...

JOHN: i mean, i didn’t think we were decided on that.

ROXY: i dunno you seemed p set on it

ROSE: Wasn’t that the guy from Night Court?

JOHN: yeah.

JOHN: which was...

ROSE: A show that reminds you of your father.

JOHN: ...

ROSE: I think that in this new world we’ve created, it’s important to carry the torch of what we’ve left behind us.

ROSE: We must name the next generation for the fallen heroes that we admire.

JOHN: wait. we ADMIRE vriska now?

ROSE: It’s true that Vriska was a controversial figure even at the best of times, but...

ROSE: She did defeat Lord English, John.

JOHN: no she... didn’t?

JOHN: vriska didn’t defeat lord english.

JOHN: rose, no one knows what happened to lord english.

ROSE: Of course we do. Vriska used the juju and her accompanying ghost army to defeat him.

ROSE: Why else would we be here?

JOHN: i don’t think that’s what actually happened though!

KANAYA: Then What Did Happen John

JOHN: i... i JUST said!

JOHN: no one knows!

JOHN: rose, come on... you’re the one who told me all this!

ROSE: I told you what?

JOHN: about a year ago. you were feeling bad, and asked me to come over.

JOHN: and then you gave me this big speech about canon, and being like, OUTSIDE canon, and NOT canon, and other shit like timelines, and fate and...

JOHN: and my anime dreams!

ROSE: That’s all in the past, John.

ROSE: Everything worked out in the end.

ROSE: Why are you getting so upset about this?

JOHN: you gave me a list of instructions and told me that i had to use my retcon powers to go back to a very specific point in time to defeat lord english when he was still just a kid.

JOHN: and you told me that i HAD to do this to... to validate the sequence of reality?

JOHN: but i didn’t.

JOHN: i was all ready to go. i... i thought i was going to die, honestly.

JOHN: but then YOU...

JOHN: roxy, you and calliope told me that i had a choice!

JOHN: and i MADE my choice, which is why i ended up staying.

JOHN: but did it really all “work out in the end”?

JOHN: if i didn’t stop lord english, then... then...

JOHN: are we even really here at all???

ROXY: u doin ok there babe

JOHN: i’m fine!

JOHN: i just... need some fresh air.

ROXY: want me to come with u

JOHN: no!

JOHN: i... i mean, no. i need a moment alone.

JOHN: i think i’m just getting those um, you know...

JOHN: new dad jitters!

JOHN: haha, that must be it.

ROXY: oh of course that makes sense

ROXY: take care of urself hon

JOHN: terezi. i know that you’ve got important stuff to do out there in paradox space, but i really need to hear from you.

JOHN: on my side it’s been months since we’ve last talked, and i can’t figure out if it’s because i said something wrong, or...

JOHN: if it’s because something terrible happened to you.

JOHN: things here on earth are...

JOHN: they’re not great.

JOHN: i mean, on the surface everything is fantastic! everyone’s so happy and it finally seems like we’re all making real progress as adults.

JOHN: but at the same time...

JOHN: everyone is also acting crazy!

JOHN: i feel like i’m the only sane person left in this entire universe.

JOHN: i’m the only one who seems to... care about anything?

JOHN: i mean, care about anything... BIGGER.

JOHN: bigger than like, what to name a baby, or who’s stuck in a terrible relationship with who.

JOHN: oh my god, this probably sounds so pathetic.

JOHN: terezi, i’m seriously pathetic.

JOHN: it’s so selfish of me to even be messaging you at all.

JOHN: i’ve got a beautiful wife who loves me, but it’s not enough. i can’t even talk to her about what we’re going to name our stupid kid without it turning into some weird thing where she just goes along with whatever i want.

JOHN: even when all i want is for her to want something different than what i want!!!

JOHN: ...

JOHN: ok, wait, i take that back. our kid’s not stupid.

JOHN: well, ok, he hasn’t been born yet, so maybe he’ll turn out to be stupid eventually. what do i know?

JOHN: anyway, the point is, i’m just popping off on random things at people who don’t deserve it, because i’m really upset right now.

JOHN: not at anyone in particular... probably just at myself.

JOHN: like, wow, can you believe how shitty i’m being right now?

JOHN: you could be dead for all i know, yet here i am begging for your attention even though my life is perfect.

JOHN: but i don’t know who else i can talk to. even rose is acting weird all of sudden.

JOHN: i guess what i’m trying to say is...

JOHN: you’re the only thing that still makes sense to me, terezi.

JOHN: right now i... i just really need you.

JOHN: please come make some sense at me...

TEREZI: OK4Y LOS3R, T3LL M3 WH4T H4PP3N3D TH1S T1M3

[bunnyluvs-blog]

Baby Blue Love (RottLeo x reader)

❥ Hiii loves so this is a Leo x reader inspired by the song "Baby Blue Love" by TWICE, (this takes place before the movie) this will be a one shot because i dont think i can do a full series for a while, school is making me wanna strangle my stuffies 😒 anyways enjoy !!

You've known the turtles about the same time April has, and you love those green reptiles to death. Sometimes you wish you could take them everywhere with you but you knew that couldnt happen. During weekdays, seeing the turtles was the only thing to keep you sane, but one of them was the highlight of it all. Leo, the leader, and the second oldest. While all of them were amazing, there was something about how Leo would "flirt" with you that just made you fall for him. He was touchy but in the way that didn't make you uncomfortable like it did with other people. If you wanted too you could go on forever about him, but sadly you had homework to do, and just like that you heard a knock on your window.

"Psst, open the window and let me in" you heard him quietly through the glass before you opened it. It was just leo today, which wasnt weird. Sometimes it would be everyone, or just Leo. "What are you doing here? Its almost 2am!" you said to him, it was a saturday and assignments from school somehow would their way onto your desk at home. "Wellllll i knew you were gonna be busy with school and i couldnt wait for you to come down to the lair, soooo i just came to you!" He said with a little to much enthusiasm but thats just how he is. You smiled and handed him one of your airpods, he accepted as you put in the other one. Y'all had this kind if relationship where words werent needed to make it feel not  awkward.

You shuffled your playlist and the song "baby blue love" started playing. Now no matter how much you tried not to, this song always reminded you of Leo. He was your baby blue love no matter what. You hummed along softly to the song as you did your work. Leo peeked over your shoulder to see what you were doing. "Whatcha working on?" he asked. "Math, tbh Mrs.Vincent has it out for me" you said resting your head on the desk. Leo took this as a sign to rub your shoulders. "Yk you could always work on it when the sun is out" he said sarcastically as u sighed. "But fr you need to sleep, its late even for you" he said picking you up and putting you in bed. Both of you were fine with the friendship where people couldn't tell if you dating or not but now, tonight. you couldnt have him leave you. And you didnt know why but you couldnt be alone.

"Leo." you said softly but strongly. "What is it pretty?" He responded. "Im in love with you." shit, thats not what you wanted to do. You just wanted to ask for him to spend that night but now he knows that your IN LOVE WITH HIM. "Haha very funny" he responded. Naur dude thinks your joking. You sit up and hold his face with your hands. "Im. Not. Joking" You could hardly see his face turn red but you still could. "I- im in love with you too, idk how or why but your always on my mind and you make me lose my cool when you laugh, i just, ive been inlove with you for a while" you hear him as he pours his heart out to you. You both looked at eachother for a minute until you giggled. "So does that mean were, together?" You asked softly. "Nope, i can't contain my love for you anymore mí amor" Lord, whe. he spoke to you in spanish it always had you melting. You patting the spot next to you on the bed and he snuffled over to it. Tonight woild he the first night you and Leo would be cuddling as lovers, not as friends, and damn it felt good

[lunaticsandidiots]

abner Krill for character meme !

send me a character and i’ll list…

favourite thing about them: how pure he is. (yeah yeah i know he’s probably hurt/killed a lot of people with his polka dots, thats not what i’m talking about). it’s not his fault his mother raised him so horribly & sheltered him away from the world, but almost because of this naivety, he’s a loyal friend, he’s open-minded and non-judgemental, and he’s so genuine and eager and excited to learn and experience and exist.

least favourite thing about them: it’s very hard to say because he is my sweet angel, but probably his inherent negativity? again, if i had the childhood he did, i’d probably be just as pessimistic as he is. i just know a Lot of people that instinctively see the glass half empty (i think they gravitate towards me…) and i’m trying to lessen my ‘i could fix him’ complex (it’s not going well)

favourite line:

ratcatcher 2: i thought you were the crazy one…

abner krill: i am.

brOTP: rick flag. flag is his buddy 🥺

OTP: harkrill, hands down, no questions asked.

nOTP: abner krill x cleo cazo (romantically). i’m not a ship-shamer so i totally get that it floats some peoples boats and that’s cool, but it clashes hardcore with my headcanons for both of them (see below)

random headcanon: i have 2 and i refuse to pick. abner has asd - his upbringing means he never really learnt the ability (or need) to mask. (his brutal honesty, his lack of social and spacial awareness, his avoidance of eye contact, cmon now). abner is also transmasc non-binary (he/they) mlm.

it’s my comfort character and i get to pick the pronouns /lh

(also to further explain my nOTP, i HC cleo as she/they wlw, hence why it would clash)

unpopular opinion: it’s funny to say this just after how i spoke about how pure he is, but i do believe that because of his upbringing and trauma he can be selfish and manipulative to feed his victim complex. not maliciously in the slightest, it’s deeply subconscious, but james gunn said himself that abner didn’t really care about milton that much, he just saw an opportunity for attention/sympathy and took it the second he could. on a positive note, i do strongly believe he’s the kind of person that would eventually listen/wise on to it and work to heal and fix it.

song i associate with them: I Bet On Losing Dogs by Mitski because i love to hurt my own feelings.

(shameless plug for my abner playlist if anyone likes melancholy indie vibes)

favourite picture of them:

i wish i could remember who said it, but someone said he looks like a cute little baby seal at a theme park 😭

man i love ask games, thank you for indulging me, beloved anon <3

~

send me a character and i’ll list…

[tastyykpop]

𝑆𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝐶𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑢𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛-Final

Pairings: jaemin x reader

Genre: smut, fluff (mostly at the end but it's short 🤠)

<previous>

Warnings: dom!jaemin, brat!reader, brat taming, punishment, overstimulation, edging, face slapping (literally slaps her once), choking (wOw iM sO sHocKeD), hair grabbing, degradation, jaemins gets angrier throughout the story, fingering, finger sucking, praising, unprotected sex, soft sex, y/ns pretty dumb but I think we knew that by now, once again jaemin calls himself nana because shut up

Tag list: @ahgastayzen @allykookiez @wooyugta @dreamlesswonder86 @taetaeismy @nanaysa @patchi-chi @simplicitysbabe @sweetjaemss @huangvibez @kaitherring @xxjaemchenct

It was obvious how tense and awkward jaemin was the entire time you stayed at his house, which lasted longer than you thought. You stayed for two days, per jaemins request, and you thought what if he's finally angry and decides to break. No, it was the complete and utter opposite. Jaemin was sweet, something you've barely seen when he used to bully or make fun of you before all this happened. He made sure you were okay staying with him another night and took care of you when you weren't hungover.

Did anything special happen though? Nope, just you and jaemin cuddling every so often while binge watching Netflix shows while he sometimes cracked jokes here and there.

It was definitely a sight to see. Even made you wonder if this is what its like to date him.

"Nana," you spoke, jaemin lifting his head off your shoulders to give you his attention, "Get up, we need to go to school."

Jaemin groaned, putting his head down on your pillow like chest and began, "Can't we just skip school?" He whined, "Maybe play a bit too?" Jaemin lifted his chin up, placing it on top of your breasts as he pouted, waiting for you to give into his cuteness.

Wouldn't that be nice- but you weren't going to miss school to mess around with jaemin. No way. You weren't even his girlfriend yet and you were sure his little play thing, seulgi, wouldn't be too happy, shes been calling him since he brought you here.

"No." You grabbed him by his hair and peeled him off your body. Jaemin wasn't very amused by the action.

"Oh i get it." He mumbled, "You want to see jeno, right?"

The question caught you off guard. But jaemin being jealous wasn't unknown to you anymore. He was possessive, that much you knew, and he always found a way to guilt trip you about it.

"I mean, we have been talking a lot more so a lil bit." You smiled, earning an eye roll from jaemin as he got up with nothing else to say and stalked his closet for something to wear. You glanced at your clothes which were actually his. And since you never went back to your apartment to get another outfit, you had to wear what you wore at the party.

Eyes stared into your bare back after you threw off the shirt that covered your body. They lingered, but didn't settle on staying until you slipped the bralette on.

Jaemin was going to comment about it, yet kept his mouth shut because there was no use saying he could give you a t-shirt instead, youd just complain about how it didn't match.

But the skirt was a different story. It was a party skirt, something way too short for school. No wonder jeno liked it. And to be honest, jaemin didn't hate it himself, he'd just rather not have people like jeno staring at you and your thighs. You were his. At least in his head you were.

"Fuck!" You screamed, "My bags at home." Softening your voice, jaemin just about wanted to smack you for scaring the shit out of him. He actually thanked the heavens your bag wasn't here, it gave you a reason to change.

"Let's go to your place quickly before school starts." Jaemin grabbed his things and you nodded, following behind him almost speed walking because of how long his strides were. "And change when we get there too."

You looked down at your fit and hummed, stepping into the car ready for jaemin to go.

"I don't think I can handle trig anymore." You bit your lip at the paper in hand. Jaemin looked down over your shoulder and almost scoffed. It was the homework due today, of course it was also one of the hardest pages the professor had given the class too, making it ten times harder for you to finish.

"If you had come over these past few nights, you wouldn't be so stressed." Jaemin shrugged.

It was like you knew he would say that with the way you rolled your eyes and crumpled the paper up, "Im actually thinking of dropping that class." You stated.

"Dont." He rested a hand on your shoulder, "Come over later and I'll help you." It wasn't even a question, in fact it was him telling you to do something. Its clear jaemins had enough of you ignoring him and hes also fed up with your complaining. Even wondered why you held out this long.

"But-"

"I'm not taking no for an answer anymore." Jaemin stated sternly as he sighed, stopping in front of your classroom and put his hands in his pocket. "Stop trying to ignore me," he leaned forward, just inches away from your face, "its not working."

"Just because you think its not working doesn't mean its not working...." You tilted your head to the side questioning your own words, "Anyway, you're jealous." Crossing your arms and leaning against the wall, your ego fed off of jaemins glaring eyes.

"Bullshit," jaemin tsked, "why would I be jealous?"

You smirked despite knowing you were playing a dangerous game with him. And jaemins good at playing games, he's done it to you for years.

You took a step forward, ultimately getting closer to his still leaned over figure and said, "You kept staring at jeno and I at the cafe and you had an attitude the entire time. Its obvious you know." Slithering a hand up his cheek, you pinched his smooth skin, "Nanas jealous."

It was an understatement to say jaemin didn't feel shivers go up his spine from your low voice. For once jaemin didn't have anything to come up with. Nothing crossed his mind to tell you that what you saw of him wasn't him being jealous, but that would be the dumbest of lies.

"Quiet for once? That's a first." You snickered at the small shade of red on his cheeks. It was either anger or him actually getting flustered. Either way you still claimed victory for keeping him surprisingly quiet.

Jaemin pulled your hand away from his face and opened his mouth, "Admit that you're purposely doing it then. There's no way you and jeno are magically good friends now. You hate him just as much as you hated me."

"Im not purposely making you jealous," you lied, "And I never hated jeno, just strongly disliked him for being friends with you."

The older almost laughed in your face from how stupid your lie was. "If you want my attention, say it." He smirked, proceeding to push you against the wall behind you without a second thought making you uncross your arms, "Its not hard y/n."

His hands trailed down to your waist, intensly watching your face as you looked around him, afraid that what he'd do will go too far and some students will see a not so innocent sight.

"Youre full of yourself." You inhaled sharply as he leaned forward ever so closely, just barely brushing his lips over yours.

"And you'll be full of nana soon." Jaemin almost closed the space between you with his lips, but someone stopped him.

"Jaemin!!!" Seulgi came running up to jaemin in her cute high heeled shoes. Her hair bouncing perfectly against her back as she pulled him away from you and into a hug, not before she planted a kiss to his lips as if you weren't standing right there, "I haven't seen you in so long, babe. You didn't call." She pouted with more puppy eyes than normal.

You missed the way jaemin growled at her, almost throwing seulgi off him since you were so focused on them kissing. Never did you think you'd witness it either. Something about it made your stomach churn and you couldnt bare stand there for long before walking away, taking zero notice of the way jaemin called out for you.

"Let's get some coffee before the bell rings." Seulgi pulled jaemin, but his eyes still lingered on the door you entered.

You couldnt stop your mind from racing in class. It was like your mind was playing games on you, telling you that jaemin wasn't in the slightest interested in you and thats why he never answered you, because he was too embarrassed to be seen with someone like you.

But that was only you overthinking.

Obviously jaemin cared for you, he wouldnt have let you stay over his house, tutored you, or be possessive when it came to you. So why did he kiss her back? In front of you too? Was he actually dating her for real?

These questions ran through your head, giving you a mini headache from thinking too hard about it.

It was like you were in high school all over again where everything was dramatic for no reason, well in some aspects you made it this way, but your point still stands.

"Y/n," someone tapped the table repeatedly, bringing you back to reality, "Class is over." jeno looked at you with suspicion but brushed it off thinking you were probably tired.

You glanced around the empty room before looking back at jeno, "Oh...yeah."

"Well uh," he scratched the back of his head, "You should probably get to your next class."

That's the last thing you wanted to do. Jaemin would be there and so was one of seulgis minions that always kept an eye out for anything he did. As annoying as it was, you weren't surprised anymore.

"Im gonna skip."

Jeno grimaced as you stood up and grabbed your things, walking towards the rooms exit as he followed close behind, "You? Skip? What the fuck??"

You stopped in your tracks, jeno almost bumbing into you in the process, "Do I need to spell it out for you or something? S-k-"

"No shut up. Its just shocking that your skipping." Jeno half grinned at the way you stared at him stoically.

"What are you getting at?"

The man before you chuckled, "Im saying youre a goody two shoes and you've never done a bad thing in your life."

You can't say he was wrong, but you also have to admit that you have stepped out of your shell recently and maybe for the better.

"Everyone changes some time in their lives." You pointed out, strolling out of the class to nowhere specific. "Better run to class jeno, dont want the teacher calling you put again."

"Yeah yeah." He eye smiled, giving you a quick pat on the back before saying bye and walking to his class.

You couldnt help but smile at him as he moved further and further away. You had to admit, jeno wasn't as bad as you thought. Not anymore anyway. But as jeno soon disappeared around a corner, you sighed and sauntered to the library where you were going to do your work until class ended.

Students were scattered everywhere in the library, some typing away at their laptops or school computers while others had papers and books sprawled out in front of them. Unfortunately for you, you were going to be the ones with almost any school supply in front of them. And with a sigh and slouched shoulders, you sat at an empty desk near the front of the library, taking your homework out as well as some books.

Normally it wouldn't be a problem for you to focus, but it was stressful with so many things laid out for you. Face palming and groaning quietly at your trig paper, you attempted the first problem which honestly didn't seem too bad, but you weren't always so sure of yourself when doing these kinds of things. Mostly because you second guessed yourself making you pick the wrong answer when you were originally right.

"This is so fucking stupid." You threw your head into your hands, giving up on trying since it was useless anyway. You needed jaemin. He was the only reason you started getting some good grades on your work.

"Whats stupid?"

Speak of the devil.

"The trig home- wait why aren't you in class?" You gazed at him before averting your eyes, not trying to let them linger too long.

Jaemin pulled a chair out and sat closely beside you, raising a brow as you inched away from him. "I could ask you the same thing." He tipped the chair back a little, keeping his eyes locked on the side of your stoic face.

"Im doing something if you can't tell." You snapped, instantly regretting the way your voice raised once you noticed jaemin clenching his jaw out the corner of your eye. But you couldnt help it, you were still frustrated, embarrassed, and jealous from earlier.

"Whats wrong?" Jaemin calmed himself, not wanting to blow up at you.

"Nothing." You ignored his eyes that watched you do out the problem. Probably silently telling you that it was all wrong but you weren't trying to pay attention to him.

"Youre doing it again."

"Doing what? I'm just trying to do my work." After writing your answer down, you checked over tbe work before you smiled to yourself. This had to be the right answer.

"Stop playing dumb." he grabbed your chin, "You know what you're doing."

Wiggling out of his grasp was no use, jaemin managed to move his hand to your jaw to keep you still.

You winced at the sudden squeeze, "I dont know what you're talking about."

Jaemin had enough of this bullshit, now grabbing your neck instead. Your eyes wondered the room hoping no one was paying attention, "Im not playing games with you. Why are you ignoring me again?"

"That's a good question." You looked away and though jaemims grip was starting to hurt more each second, you still found a way to show your disinterest.

Jaemin sighed, letting his hand drop and you inhaled deeply without a second thought. "Whats wrong then?"

"I told you its nothing."

"Bullshit." Jaemin took the pencil out of your hand just as you were about to write, your hand flying up to try and take it back but he pulled away.

"You really wanna know then?" You asked sharply to which jaemin nodded, "You kissed seulgi. Happy now?"

Jaemins mouth fell at your confession. Yes he figured that upset you a bit, but he never thought it was enough for you to ignore him.

"I never even went that far with jeno."

"Never went that far, huh?" He snapped back, shaking his head in disbelief as his face once again was steaming with anger. "Need i remind you how you made out with him at the party. Or were you that wasted and cant remember?"

The new found anger overlapped the previous one with more than just anger, but annoyance. There was no way jaemin was telling the truth, you would never kiss jeno.

"No i didnt."

"Dont tell me you didn't, I fucking saw it." His hand found its way on the table creating a loud bam that startled not only you, but a few kids that even lifted their heads to see what caused the noise. "You were the first one to go that far, so blame yourself before you blame me."

Taking a deep breath, you had to calm down before you said something you'd regret. Knowing jaemin too, you already had something waiting for you at his house.

"I believe you." Jaemin was ready to open his mouth but you were quick and responded, "because i remember." The problem with this answer was because it was untruthful. You already dug yourself a whole from the beginning yet you knew what you were getting yourself into. There was something about playing with jaemins anger that made you go wild.

Determined with your lie, you kept the straightest face like it was proof you recalled that night. Jaemin too was focused only on your face, his hand balling into a fist ever so slowly.

"I remember....he was a really good kisser," you whispered, "And you looked so mad." Snickering away at your words, you placed a hand on jaemins lap and watched his expression go from anger to almost frothing at the mouth.

Bingo. He was too far gone to see through you at this point and this is where you smirked to yourself.

"You're unbelievable." He scoffed, rolling his eyes thinking about how fed up he was, "Lets go."

Despite being told what to do, you sat looking between jaemin and your sprawled out homework. "I have things to do."

Jaemin literally shoved all your papers into your bag, not caring how they crumpled in the small space as you complained and swatted at his arm. Of course though, jaemin payed no mind to it, grabbing your hand and bag before dragging you out of the library.

You fought and struggled to get out of his grip. From the start you knew what you were getting into, that's why you did what you did. Now being dragged to his house it dawned on you that it was time to suffer whatever he had in mind.

"When we get to my house," jaemin locked his eyes with yours as he led you to his car, "We'll study trig, and depending on my mood and your attitude after, I might go easy with the punishment later."

"Im not going over to study and then be punished afterwards." Your voice faltered as you saw a familiar someone walking towards you and jaemin.

Jenos eyes lit up sadistically, smiling at you, telling you to smile back for one reason: to set jaemin off.

You did without hesitation, jaemins hold getting tighter and tighter as he glared at his best friend who walked by, holding the proudest grin on his face.

Once at the car, jaemin shoved you inside the passenger seat, slamming the door before he situated himself in the drivers side. Your eyes watched in annoyance yet you were intrigued. Maybe because you haven't had any action with jaemin since about a week ago.

Resting your head against the headrest, you stared outside the window. There wasn't any way you could hold another conversation with the man, it would only drive your hormones insane.

Its been thirty minutes and to say you were paying attention would be the stupidest thing ever. every word that jaemin said went in one ear and out the other. Some part of you was purposely choosing to ignore him, but your attention span was almost non existent in the first place. So listening to jaemin talk about trigonometry was only boring you.

You tapped out, playing with your pencil or doodling on the paper. Each time you weren't paying attention, jaemin would ask you to write down the answer or a land a slap right on your thigh. It stung and made up jump with shock in your eyes as jaemin told you the same thing each time: "pay attention." But did you? God no. It was impossible. With the thought of a punishment too, it made your mind run like it was in a marathon.

"Little girl," jaemins voice once again brought you back to reality, "what did nana just say?" You shrugged your shoulders slightly, keeping your head down like you were shy yet you were far from it, holding a small grin on your innocent face.

"I dont know, nor do I care." You finally looked up. Jaemin was none too happy, letting his chest fall.

Shaking his head, he said once more to listen and pay attention.

Jaemin took your pencil so he could write out the problem for you, deciding to be nice even though you weren't returning it. You watched the way his pretty hands flexed with every number or letter he wrote. The subtle veins showing every so often too made you almost drool at the sight. Oh what you would do to have him wrap his hands around your neck again.

"Solve it." Jaemin threw the pencil down in front of you, resting his head in his hand to watch you. But you didn't move, not even a simple budge.

"No."

"Y/n its not that fucking hard, just solve it."

You glanced at the paper then the pencil that laid on the table before grabbing it and snapping it in half.

"Im not doing it." You faked a smile, ready for jaemin to snap just like the pencil.

"You need to pass this class, y/n. Stop messing around and pay attention."

You shot up from your seat, "I. Dont. Care. I'm going home."

It wasn't long before he suddenly stood up too, grabbing you by the hair and threw you on his bed, "Okay you wanna act up?" He hovered over you, pinning your arms down on the soft bed as he straddled your lower half. "I dont get why you continue to act like a brat when you know you're going to be punished. Unless you want it?" Jaemins face was merely inches in front of yours not until you blew into his face and smirked when he flinched and pulled away.

"Ever wonder why I act this way? Your easy to push, I can get in your head and make you get mad so I get exactly what I want." You snickered, "Not to mention its to make you suffer for not answering my question." A hand was placed on his covered chest, rubbing small circles on the fabric of the shirt.

Suddenly, jaemin laughed. Though, it wasn't a joyful one. It was more sadistic and filled with amusement, "How is it making me suffer if you're the one about to be punished?"

"Cuz i still get what I want in the end."

"My dick or my attention?"

"Both."

Jaemnn chuckled dryly, quickly sitting back and tearing your clothes off without a second thought.

You were ready to protest about your clothes until jaemin took matters in his own hands and shoved his fingers nearly down your throat to shut you up.

"Im tired of your voice." He spat, "All you talk is shit."

Whimpering around his fingers, you tried anything in your power to try and pry them out. He never moved back, sticking his fingers deeper and deeper until he heard you gag and whine the best you could. Your throat felt so tight and it was getting harder to breathe. Jaemin didn't care, deciding to just fuck your mouth with his fingers as he started pulling your pants and panties down, lifting his hips up so he can take them off all the way.

"It would be so much nicer if you weren't a brat you know." Jaemin began, easily shoving two fingers inside your dripping cunt, "Nana could've stuffed you full of his cock, made love to you, and made you happy. Instead," his fingers that were buried in your heat, curled and pushed in a certain way that made your eyes roll, "You wanted to be a little bitch."

You drew out a long hum, the pleasure felt so good after pushing jaemin for so long. All his anger was going to this one punishment and you should've felt scared, but you weren't. You were excited and loved every bit of it.

The way he fingered you was almost too surreal. It made your body crumple against his will and he wasn't even fucking you yet.

It was getting harder to breathe being filled by his two fingers. Just barely becoming too overwhelming so you tapped his hand to signal you needed to breathe. Jaemin took his hand out, watching your face to make sure you were okay as you gasped for air.

"Are y-you try-trying to kill me or s-something?" You moaned at one particular hard thrust that made your breath hitch.

"Oh shut up, I know you liked it. Probably imagined my cock down your throat." He bit his lip, taking in the thought of what you would look like on your knees for him before shaking it off.

"I-i was n-not."

Jaemin smirked devishly, scissoring his fingers to stretch you out more, but you kept clenching around him. Your hand grabbed his wrists in a death grip, moans fell from your open mouth and jaemin ate that all up. Loving how your body shook, knowing you were so close.

Right when you felt your orgasm coming, jaemin ripped his fingers out of you, essentially letting your juices flow out. But you didn't cum, no you were just that wet.

Your hips lifted up like you would get friction but there was nothing to get friction from, you looked dumb and pathetic.

"Not fair..." you mumbled, frowning at the annoying smirk on jaemins face.

"Punishments aren't supposed to be fair," he said a matter of factly, pushing your hips back down on your bed as he grazed his fingers over your wetness before pushing back in again.

This time setting a ruthless pace, taking in your fucked out expression.

"Jaemin- please im s-so close." Fidgeting and clawing at his wrists, the orgasm built back up. It got closer, closer, closer. Right there, it was right there, but jaemin took it away from you again.

"God, I love this way more than I should. Breaking a brat is so much fun." His fingers dripped with your arousal. He stared at the strand connecting his fingers. It was so much and so lewd, it should've been embarrassing to you yet it made him want more from you. "How many times should nana edge his pretty girl? Maybe-"

"Fuck you." You cried, ready to take this into your own hands and finish yourself off.

Jaemins hand made a perfect necklace on your neck, tightening his grip on the sides so you felt all his anger, "Thats the last thing I would say if I were you."

"W-what are y-you gonna do? Spank me?" Thinking he actually would if you said that, you were slapped across the face, eyes not staring at jaemin anymore but the wall next to the bed.

"Dont test me anymore, your already in for it." He growled into your ear. Leaving his hand wrapped around your neck, he slipped back inside, this time fucking his fingers into you at an antagonizing slow pace.

You wanted to scream and push him away for being a tease, but you reminded yourself that this is what you wanted, this was what you'll get. You had no idea how long this pain will continue though. All you could think about was cumming. In fact, that was the only thing on your mind as he fingered your tight pussy. The pain of not being able to orgasm was so unbearable, it just about made your eyes tear up. Were you that desperate that you'd cry over it?

"I wanna...c-cum so bad..."

The man above you stared at you in disbelief. He basically just started and you were already a mess.

"You really want to cum that badly?" You nodded hastily, tears at the brink of falling, you couldnt hold it in anymore, "Then apologize for all the shit you put us through. Starting with you ignoring me, fake dating jeno, and purposely pissing me off for the hell of it." Jaemin said with his whole chest. Being able to say it out loud reminded him of everything. From the time you started this crap, to now.

"I-im sorry- I'm so f-fucking sorry, jaemin." You forced yourself to look into his eyes, his angry red eyes that tore into your soul to find any lie, yet you had none. You meant what you said with full honesty, "Please nana, l-let me cum."

Jaemin simply gave you a nod and thats when you let everything out. You came all over his fingers but jaemin didn't stop nor slow down. He kept the same rough pace as before and you could only scream and cry from the sensitivity.

Then jaemin started rubbing and pinching your sensitive clit before giving your cunt a slap that made you jolt and cry out.

"Ahh- w-wait jae-mmm....s-so sensitive."

Jaemin rolled his eyes, "thought you wanted to cum? I'm giving you what you want, babe."

Your legs closed around his fingers though it didn't stop him from curling and fucking them inside. He could just easily push them open yet he found your sensitivity amusing which led you to cum again without warning.

"What a pathetic little fucking brat you are." He gathered the white substance that leaked from your clentching hole and shoved it back in, "Making such a mess of yourself."

Your back arched, even more sensitive than before.

The hand on your neck moved down to your breast, squeezing at your nipples and playing with everything he could get his hand on. Your nipples were so sensitive that that alone could make you cry and moan just from a simple touch.

His fingers brushed against your sweet spot where you screamed his name. Being over sensitive made everything feel more pleasurable and painful. Every small touch on your pussy brought you to a shaking pleasure that you couldnt control. It was becoming too much and too overwhelming.

"Fuck, are you gonna cum again? It hasn't even been five minutes." He watched, eyes filled with amazement as you shook and once again, came on his sheets and fingers.

Your shaking didn't stop though, it was like the kind of shake you get when your cold, though you were far from it. The intensity of this orgasm was just too much where even jaemin had to pull his fingers out and let you breathe for a moment.

"You okay, baby?" He asked quietly, kissing your temple as you nodded your head, "Can you give nana one more then?" Not wanting to stop, you nodded without a thought causing jaemin to smile and lean back.

Jaemin finally got rid of his clothing, crawling back on the bed before giving you a kiss so you wouldn't notice how he slipped his cock inside.

Surprisingly jaemin took his time pushing in, savoring your sweet little moans that drove him crazy. He started and kept a slow pace that made the overwhelming feeling dissolve away. Now you were wrapping your legs around his waist and staring into the soft eyes of jaemins that were just red a second ago.

Every vein against your walls made you feel ecstasy. Jaemin was careful with each thrust and it felt like pure love. They were passionate and he didn't fail to show it.

"Taking nanas cock so well, just like the good girl you are." Jaemin smiled at your beautiful face that contorted into pleasure. Both of your moans filled the room. More cuss words were thrown from you like it was the only thing in your dictionary.

The lewd sounds of your bodys bounced off the walls as jaemin fucked you slow and steady, grabbing your hips gently as he kissed all over your face, neck, and breasts. He sucked on your skin here and there, creating small bruises that looked like a tattoo as you grabbed the back of his head, lifting him up by the hair to bring his face to yours so you could place a kiss to his red lips.

The kiss was sloppy and slow. Neither of you cared though, both focused on your orgasms that kept coming closer.

Jaemins thrusts stuttered and his cock twitched inside you. The hand in jaemins hair pulled and messed up his locks, sure to create a messy sight later on.

" 'm gon-gonna cum." You moaned, lifting your hips up to meet his along the way.

"Cum, princess."

The final orgasm left your body feeling like it was on a cloud while all you saw were stars making jaemin coo at your fucked out face.

Pulling out, jaemin finished on your stomach before letting his body fall next to yours, wrapping an arm around your hips and pulling you into him..

You both panted out of tiredness, neither one bothering to move as you were both spent.

"Did I hurt you, princess? Are you feeling okay?"

You smiled into his chest, "no you didn't hurt me and I feel fine."

"Good." Jaemin smiled, petting your hair before laying his head on top of yours, "Wanna go on a date?"

You swear your heart stopped as your face heated up, "Jaemin, you're doing everything backwards."

"So is that a yes or no?"

"Of course its a yes!"

It was a peaceful restaurant that jaemin brought you to, saying it was supposed to be a place a lot of couples went to which you thought was absolutely sweet of him.

"So...uh." jaemin looked anywhere but your face like he didn't just have sex with you for the second time.

You snickered and sipped the drink in your hand, "Why are you so awkward all of a sudden? Its just me."

"I know it's just- I feel like I can't say what I wanna say because I'm afraid." Jaemin sighed.

"Of what exactly?" You placed the drink down, watching as jaemin fumbled with the menu before he covered his mouth and mumbled something you coulsnt quite grasp, "What did you say?"

"...nothing."

"Jaemin."

His doe eyes stared into yours like it was some sort of contest, wanting you to look away first but you and he did, "Alright fine. I said I'm a bit nervous if I were to ask you out."

Tilting your head to the side, you puffed your cheeks out in confusion, "Why?"

"The last relationship I had, the girl cheated on me. Afterwards she said it was because i wasn't good enough." He frowned, returning his attention back to the menu where you presumed was his hiding place for the time being.

"Well she's a bitch and is missing out on an amazing person." You pushed the menu down, "Is that why you acted that way when you saw jeno and I at the cafe? Did you think I thought you weren't good enough?"

Jaemin nodded slowly, "Kind of. I didn't want to lose someone I loved again."

"Loved? Na jaemin-"

"Dont say it." He groaned.

"You've gotten soft! Does this mean what I think it means?" You quirked a suggestive brow at him causing him to put his head in his hand.

"Yes, ill be your boyfriend." He said in his hand before you took it away and grabbed his face to kiss him. "I- princess when did you become do confident?"

"When did you become so shy?"

"Fair point."

Everything felt right all of a sudden. No more of jaemin being your bully. No more coffee being poured on your head. No more stupid high school drama that wasn't even drama in the first place. It was all right for once. And you couldnt say you could complain. After weeks, you got what you struggled to have before; na jaemin.

[gladerwolfstarkimagines]

Imagine telling Azula the abuse she suffered isn’t okay and that she’s not a monster

Your POV

You’d initially been very excited when Azula told you about the holiday on Ember Islands but it had taken a bleak turn on your very first night. Ty lee had gotten you invited to some party and somehow that led to Azula terrifying the host, Zuko and Mai breaking up and now everyone was sat in a circle talking about all the horrible things they’d experience as children. Everyone had told their story apart from you and Azula. Mai and Zuko were finally getting along when Azula ruined it by making fun of him. Zuko seemed in no mood and snapped back at her. He implied she was perfect sarcastically and you watched amazed as just for a second Azula’s mask dropped. Her face lost it’s guard and genuine pain and emotion was present as she talked about her childhood and her mother.  "My own mother thought i was a monster" Azula whispered and you shivered. Silence stretched out and you felt the urge to comfort her but this was Azula, when she sensed weakness and snuffed it out. "She was right of course but it still hurt" she smirked and everyone relaxed going back to normal. Azula was Azula again, sure she’d shown feelings for a few seconds there who cares? 

You did. 

The others all just carried on talking, acting as if Azula hadn’t just said what she had but you couldn’t just go back to normal. You’d seen what was beneath the princess’ mask and it was haunting.

Azula’s POV

The group bonding over, Mai and Zuko wandered back to the house together. Ty lee and Azula were right behind them but Azula paused as you made no move to get up. You were sat knees tucked up into your chest staring at the fire intensely. You weren’t moving and you didn’t even seem to be blinking. Azula sighed wondering what else could happen tonight. "You go ahead, i’ll be there soon" she told Ty lee who nodded and left. Azula approached you and only as she got closer did she see you were crying.

Your POV

You heard a snort followed by "are you crying?". When you didn’t aswer Azula knelt down to look at you "stop being stupid, why are you crying?". You breathed and looked at her "i don’t know" you admitted "just hearing all your stories" you sighed wiping your eyes "it makes me sad". Azula went to insult you but saw the distraught look on your face and couldn’t quite bring herself to. "Well it’s not that bad,we all have demons" she shrugged sitting beside you. "But that doesn’t make it right" you cried "any of it!". "Well no" Azula agreed with you "but it’s in the past". "But it effected you all, it still does! All of you! All because of what your parents did to you when you were children" you spat more tears falling. Azula didn’t like emotions and was going to try stop this when you spun on her "and you, you know what your mother said to you wasn't okay right? How your father treated you wasn't correct Azula, you're not a monster you never were". Azula felt struck as you spoke those words to her, it felt embarassing to have someone tell her that, almost intrusive. She felt exposed and she didn’t like it. "Of course i know that" she spat standing up "i don’t need someone like you to tell me that! I’m the princess! I’m the firebending prodigy of the fire nation!". "But that doesn’t mean the abuse didn’t effect you, that it wasn’t painful! You’re human too Azula! What your parents did to you....". "Stop" Azula commanded and you could tell by the tone of her voice and look in her eye this was dangerous territory. Nobody had ever talked to Azula about this and it was raw painful ground. Azula wasn’t ready for this, if you didn’t back down she might attack you. You took a breath and lowered your eyes "i’m sorry Azula i didn’t mean to be so opinionated, i shouldn’t have talked to you like that, i was just concerned for you". You wiped your eyes waiting for Azula’s verdict and she eventually replied. "No you shouldn’t have, do not speak to me like that again, yes?". You nodded your head but Azula couldn’t seem to meet your eye. "Let’s go back" she said and started walking. You followed her and noticed how fast she was walking, how tight her fists were clenched and it killed you not to be able to reach out and comfort her...but you knew she wasn’t ready, the pain was still too fresh...but you’d shown her you cared. You’d told her it wasn’t right and she wasn’t a monster. Those things would stick in her head and you hoped they’d grow and fill Azula with the truth of them. And some day, just maybe, Azula would be willing to talk about it. You’d be right there when she did.

2 Months later

You couldn’t help but keep a closer eye on Azula once you returned to the fire nation and what you saw wasn’t good. Ozai was still using her and you could see the damage his expectations were inflicting on her. Then Zuko left and Azula seemed to be even less stable. The final nail in the coffin was Ty lee and Mai’s betrayal of Azula, that pushed her royally over the edge.

You were with her when it happened, when Ty lee intervened to save Mai and you didn’t. When Azula fell after Ty lee attacked her you rushed to her side, managing to catch her and looked up at Mai and Ty lee who stared at you. “Y/n let us go” Ty lee pleaded and you paused utterly caught in the middle. “I...” you started when guards rushed in and took the decision away from you. You helped Azula to stand and looked away as she gave the orders to send Mai and Ty lee off to prison. You couldn’t even look your friends in their eyes. They’d chosen Zuko and you’d chosen Azula. You hadn’t realised you had chosen her but instinctively you apparently had. It wasn’t even like you agreed with everything Azula had done because you really didn’t. You hated seeing all the pain she caused and seem to revel in. But after the beach you could see why Azula was like that. She was hurt and craved love, that’s why she did everything Ozai said, she’d do anything to gain his affection and it broke your heart. Azula was so broken you couldn’t leave her, not even if it meant siding against Mai and Ty lee. You could feel Azula slipping and you wouldn’t let her go through this alone. You refused. 

You returned to the fire nation after the incident and everything seemed okay for a while. Azula seemed to trust you a lot seeing as you’d shown loyalty to her but soon the suspicions started creeping back in. When her father announced she’d be firelord it got even worse. As Azula’s coronation got closer her erratic behaviour got worse and worse until finally she cracked.

You recieved word for Lo and Lei that Azula had been banishing everyone and cautiously appeared in her throne room. You old friend looked truly scary, sat in the dark surrounded by fire but all you saw was the girl from the beach...only now she had no mask to hide behind. The true terrified Azula was here for everyone to see.

“Azula?” you asked your voice a lot stronger than you felt “what’s going on? Why is nobody here?”. “They’re fools all of them” she spat not even looking at you “I couldn’t trust them, I can’t trust anyone”. You frowned unsure what to say to make it better. “I....i’m here Azula” you said and you winced at how small your voice sounded in the room. “You?” Azula asked turning to face you “yes I suppose you have been loyal but for how long?”. “Azula you can’t think like that”. “It’s all I think about” she snapped “and with good reason! That’s all anyone seems to do around here, betray me" Azula cried "Mai and Ty lee did! Zuko left, so the question is when is it your turn? Is that why you’re here now? Did you want to stick the knife in my back personally?". "Of course not Azula" you cried and she snorted "if it’s not to kill me then it’s to get power or...." she trailed off "it’s the worst option of the three, you’re here because you pity me". Your voice caught in your throat as Azula carried on "on the ember islands you spoke to me so patronisingly, like you knew everything about me...telling me i’m not a monster when you’re wrong, look before you y/n, i am a monster and you shouldn’t pity me but fear me". 

Azula was surrounded in blue fire, the look in her eye matched the spark of the fire. She looked terrifying you could admit that but you still couldn’t fear her, you were scared but cared for and wanted to help her more. "No" you said strongly and Azula actually flinched "i don’t fear you Azula because you’re not a monster". Azula’s eyes widenned and her lip rose into a snarl. She went to yell so you carried on "just because the others left doesn’t make what your mother said true, they didn’t leave because you’re a monster! They left because you pushed them away, you were so scared they’d leave you that you drove them to! That what you’re trying to do to me right now but i’m not leaving Azula! I’m not going anywhere". Azula glared "again with this nonsense, i am not like you pathetic people with emotions, i am the firelord!". "You are a human!" you cried "you feel things Azula, i’ve seen it and thats okay! Feeling fear, having emotions, feeling sad and depressed! It’s all okay! It’s okay to feel like that, it doesn’t make you weak or a freak it makes you human, you’re human not a monster Azula". "Stop saying that" Azula cried but you walked closer. "No i will never stop telling you it! You are not a monster Azula, you are just a girl, a girl abused by her father and neglected by her mother...a girl pitted against her brother, made to feel like she had to manipulate anyone to make them care about her because of your parents but you don’t Azula! What you parents told you isn't true! You’re not superhuman and you’re not a monster you’re just human". "I am not' Azula cried her fire rising and envoking the room and your exit "i am the heir! The ruler of the strongest nation! The best fire bender this world has seen! I took Ba Sing Sei when nobody else could, i killed the avatar when Zuko was too weak to, i did what needed to be done when Mai and Ty lee couldn’t...i am not the same as them, as you! I know you want me to be weak, they all did...my mother, my father, Zuko but i won’t be! I will not be weak". "Weakness is not what you think it is!" you cried back “Azula what your father told you was wrong". "Really?" Azula asked "because if you don’t leave this room and never come back you’re weakness is going to get you killed". Azula’s threat made you pause but you were done letting her hold these messages in her head. "I am not going anywhere" you repeated and Azula’s smile fell. "Why?" she screamed "i don’t want or need you!". "Because I won’t let the fire nation take you, I won’t let your parents win! I refuse” you yelled walking through Azula’s fire to get to her "i won’t let you believe what they’ve told you! You are good enough Azula! Just as you are! You’re not a monster or weak, you are just you!" you said finally reaching her "you are Azula" you said softly "Not a fire bending prodogy, not the leader or heir, not a monster or least loved child, those are all things other people have told you, none of that matters. You are azula. That is enough to be proud of, that is all you need, just Azula". Azula let our a screetch and you flinched and closed your eyes ready to be engulfed in fire but you weren’t. You opened your eyes to see all the fire was gone. It made it difficult to see the state of the room but when your eyes adjusted to the darkness you spotted Azula.

She had collapsed as a heap on the floor, her body shaking from the tears as her whole world imploded. You approaced her carefully unsure if she'd allow you to hug her but watching her body convulse with pain and sadness you risked it. You flung yourself over her holding onto her. Azula tensed but you patted her back "it’s okay Azula, it’s going to be okay i promise" and Azula shifted. She grabbed ahold of your arms and leant into you. She buried her head in your shoulder and you held her as she clung to you. She’d shook vigorously and she’d sometimes scream or yell, fire escaping as she did, but the fire never harmed you. Eventually she stopped all of it and that was worse. 

1 hour later

Zuko appeared on the flying bison and you were there to meet him. "Y/n?" he asked "where’s my sister?". "She’s not going to fight you" you told him and Zuko paused "y/n did you stop her, have you..". "I didn’t hurt her" you told Zuko quickly "i’m taking her away from here, i’m going to get her help, i know a good guy in the colonies who can talk to her, she needs help Zuko not prison and i’d like your approval to do so but if you stand in my way...". "No of course i won’t!" Zuko cried "y/n that sounds...you have my permission, look after my little sister". You nodded "always, we'll be gone in 10 minutes". Zuko didn’t see you bundle Azula away and thought that was probably for the best but he saw the throne room, it was all black from fire, from Azula’s fire. He wondered how you’d gotten through to her. Why you’d risked your life to do it when even he wouldn’t have...

1 year later

Zuko’s POV

Zuko paces back and forth nervously when Suki announced she was here. The door opened and Azula entered you beside her. It had been just over a year since he’d seen his sister and Zuko was suprised at how different she looked. She definitely looked paler and more unsure of herself but she looked more...well natural, she looked more human than Zuko had ever seen her. “Hello brother” she spoke and Zuko smiled “Azula, it’s good to see you...and you y/n”. You nodded to Zuko from Azula’s side and he smiled at the way Azula seemed to gain comfort from you. She seemed keen on keeping close to you and Zuko was pleased she had someone to comfort her. “Sit” Zuko smiled pointing to the table filled with food “i am sure you are hungry from the trip and we have lots of catching up to do”. Azula nodded her head but didn’t move “we do but first Zuko I’d like to apologise”. Azula glanced to you and you smiled at her encouragingly. “Zuko I know all our lives I’ve hurt you, physically and mentally and I want to own up to that, admit it was wrong and apologise. What I did to you was wrong and I understand if you struggle to forgive me but i would like to be a good sister and for us to try from the beginning”. You’d written to Zuko regularly about Azula’s recovery and the letters had always pained him. He knew he hadn’t had it good in the fire nation but he never considered it could be bad for Azula too, when he considered what it must’ve been like for her all alone with their father....Zuko was furious he’d never realised sooner. Him and Azula had been turned against one another when they could’ve been each others greatest allies, well not anymore. Zuko’s eyes filled with tears and he smiled “Azula of course i forgive you your my sister” and he rushed to hug her. Zuko hadn’t hugged his sister since they were infants but now Zuko felt like he could have a sister again. Azula hugged Zuko, awkwardly as she still wasn’t used to physical shows of affection but Zuko appreciated her trying. “I would like very much for us to be a proper brother and sister...to be how we were when we we’re very small children”. Azula smiled and nodded “I would like that too”. Zuko grinned and looked at you behind Azula. You were beaming looking at Azula so proudly and Zuko smiled. He led Azula back to the table and pulled out her chair for her. Azula smiled, her face an expression Zuko supposed must be an attempt not to cry and took the seat.

Your POV

Considering how well the meal had gone Zuko led you and Azula into the throne room where Mai and Ty lee were waiting. Azula approached them cautiously, her apologies for them fresh in her mind from all the rehearsal you had done and you watched as she performed them just like you’d practiced. She finished and an awkward silence settled. You grew worried they’d reject her but Ty lee lasted 3 seconds before throwing her arms around Azula. Mai rolled her eyes but joined the hug. You grinned watching your friends make up when you felt Zuko beside you. “Thank you” Zuko smiled brightly at you “for helping my sister, for saving her when I couldn’t, for not giving up on her when i....”. “It’s okay” you smiled cutting Zuko off “I didn’t do it for you, or for myself, I did it for Azula, I knew she could be happy and I’m so glad she is, just seeing her so content” you sighed and Zuko smiled at the way you spoke about her. “You love her don’t you?” he asked and you blushed. Zuko smiled, your reaction confirming his suspicion. “Have you told her” Zuko asked and you shook your head, “Azula was too vulnerable and in pain for me to say anything before”. “But now?” Zuko asked smiling. You blushed “maybe...i’ll see, i don’t want to scare her off”. Zuko shook his head “y/n you were the only one able to reach her, the only one she could confide in...i don’t think you’ll get a bad reaction”. You blushed again, your eyes going to where Azula stood smiling with Ty lee and Mai. “I hope so... she’s pretty incredible”. Zuko smiled “she is, but so are you”. You smiled at Zuko and then suddenly Azula looked up noticing you and Zuko watching her. She smiled at you and your blush grew. Azula blushed too and Zuko grinned “you may not have to tell her after all, it appears she already knows”. 

-----

So this was born out of my desperate need for Azula to get help and for her and Zuko to become friends because I just want them to be a loving brother and sister!!! 

Also I want to clarify i do not condone, approve of or encourage the use of physical or mental violence or manipulation in friendships or relationships. In this case because of Azula’s suppressed emotions i thought anyone who tried to comfort her would get physical resistance so I put that in there to keep it realistic to Azula’s character. I do not approve of that but i do think getting Azula mentally healthy would involve her being physically and mentally resistant at first to whoever was trying to help her but I think she'd eventually stop and start having healthier relationships. Again not condoning it but trying to realistically show what it would take to get Azula mentally stable after years of abuse from her parents and not trying to sugar coat it.

[writting-thingz]

Sunflower

(Very much incomplete, I honestly forgot about this one. But despite that I figured I shared it cause I found it in my journal)

Fem-Reader x Nishinoya

Warnings: fluff? reader has scarlet red hair, implied that the reader looks(and is) buff in some way shape or form, Himawari is just a nickname, all characters are aged up, I think thats it

"Where the hell is Hinata?" Nishinoya questions as he rubs the side of his head with a towel. Daichi smiles and nods towards the front door,

"There was a knock at the door. We assumed it was the pizza so we sent Hinata to get it. He should be back any second." Nishinoya shrugs still trying to dry his hair.

"Waaiiit!!" Hinata's voice calls out towards the boys. Around the corner speed walks a young woman with Hinata trailing behind. The moment her eyes landed on Nishinoya the pensive look on her face softened and the sweetest smile graced their presence. "I *huff* I'm sorry she uh *huff huff* she hugged me and-" Hinata's wheesy, breathless explanation is interrupted by the woman's backpack slipping form her shoulders and dropping to the floor. "Oh my god.." she hooked her arms under Nishinoya's arms and lifted him. Before he could protest to being picked up her scent surrounded him. She smelt of wet dirt during the warm summer rains and a hint of butterscotch. There was something... nostalgic about it. "God it really is you Nishinoya," she exclaims spining around once. The young woman lowers the poor confused man so he can stand on his own two feet. She gives him a brief but strong hug and a peck on the cheek.

It was then she realized something that made her cheeks burn.

"I'm sorry, you probably don't remember me... Sunflower," she apologizes. Meanwhile the boys were exchanging confused looks, Hinata is still catching his breath and joining him in that struggle is Noya thanks to the hug. "How stupid of me," she starts. She sets the tip of the Sunflower pendant, that was around her neck, into her mouth. Gently she chew on the tip of the pendant. Watching her nervous tic and getting waft of her scent once again.. it hit him.

"Sunflower? I... Himawari?" Nishinoya asks with wide eyes, having finally caught his breath. The young woman mirrored his look,

"You.. you do remember me?" Seconds later Noya grins, confirming her hopes.

"Uh hi there-" his friend chimes in suddenly appearing behind him, "I'm Tanaka, Noya's friend and these are his other close friends which you to ~luuv birds~ seem to have forgotten exist." He pats Noya's back as he spoke. The woman's face turned as scarlet as he hair.

"Love birds? No- I'm not- we're not-" her flustered words came to as stop as she listens to Nishinoya chuckle.

"Tanaka! Give her a break. She may have the look of someone who could break you in half but don't let the muscles fool you. This Sunflower flutters easily." Just then Nishinoya turns to her eith the biggest grin, "wait here, I have to grab something." He turns back to Tanaka, "introduce her for me would you? I shouldn't be long." Before Tanaka could answer the excited young man runs off down the hall.

"Uh... ooo-okay. Not sure what that's about." Tanaka scratched the back of his head. "I- uh," he begins. Himawari stuck her hand out to Tanaka. He takes her hand and shakes it,

"You can just call me Himawara like Noya does. Its a pleasure to meet you Tanaka." He simply nods and watches as she makes her way over to the other boys. She strongly grips and shakes each of the boys' hands. Once finished introducing themselves she points to each person respectively as she repeats their name, "Daichi, Sugawara, Asahi, Hinata, and Tanaka." The young men nodded. "It's a pleasure to meet you all. I apologize for my sudden appearance, especially to you Hinata. I asked it the if this was Noya's place and when you said yes I got excited," she placed the tip of her pendant in her mouth again. "I forgot how strong my hugs are sometimes..."

[relaxxattack]

ayo! (wait this might be a bit of a jumpscare dishdks i apologize) i’m op of That Post and was wondering what your opinions were on the whole woobification thing? /gen

because it’s a Tiny Bit widespread within the dream apologists to sort of,, overdramatize stuff like l’manberg hurting him. like they’re not a 100% wrong but if you look at it subjectively you can see some sort of bias going into that sort of thing that makes the character’s mistreatment a bit more blatant and intentional which,, it really wasn’t? and there wasn’t That Much of it either. especially on twitter (tumblr is much better about it) people just jump to conclusions it seems and yeah. since you brought it up i was wondering if you wanted to write a bit about it from your perspective!

we’re kinda from different corners of the fandom but i still notice that once you are too attached to a character you start taking certain evidence and giving it more weight than it actually has. there’s a blurry line between “taking away a character’s humanity” and woobification and it’s extremely difficult to find a balance when said character shows pretty much nothing of his emotional life (e. g. putting up the intimidating villain act in front of only c!tommy, pretty much everything he does making rational sense with no emotional subtext) and a lot of the fandom instantly jumps to one side or the other while it’s like.

we don’t know by far enough to say “he’s traumatized” or “he isn’t traumatized” or “he was villainized and it hurt him” or “l’manberg didn’t affect him at all”

as a very analytical person people constantly jumping to conclusions grinds my gears, but that’s about it for my own view of the situation - sorry for the rambling.

in general i agree with you that both dehumanization and woobification is Bad and i really hope getting Actual Context sorts this out (e. g. him saying he was betrayed by his friends doesn’t mean it wasn’t partially his fault or that they were allowed to leave him, but it also shows that he did care about that happening. mentioning the cat doesn’t mean anything about what happened to c!tommy but it also shows that he did care about what happened to it. it’s just always interesting to get more information about the way he feels because he usually does a very good job at hiding it.) because man.

it’s like being stuck between a rock and a hard place, especially if you also are attached to the character and are expected to automatically agree with everything the people on “your side” say. it just ends up with everyone being mad and the character being mischaracterised overall.

oh wow hello! i didnt expect the op of the post to find me you’re right lol

and yes i agree! you seem to have a lot of very good thoughts tbh.

and by woobification, i mean exactly what you’ve already pointed out— the people who will say l’manberg purposely villainized dream, the people who will say wilbur faked his mental illness to manipulate dream, the people who are pretty much always talking about how badly dream was treated by people who were acting only fairly for themselves, usually.

for example people who act like dream was a perfect peacemaker before tommy showed up, or that tommy started most conflict. these are just actual lies that are told by c!dream himself to justify his abuse of tommy, and people fall for them incredibly easily because not a lot of people watched early dsmp and know that truthfully it was chaotic even then, and that dream was chaotic too. not to mention wilbur soot tried very hard to secede peacefully with l’manberg and dream jumped directly into war with no warning. and then people say he was forced into their war when, no, he started it.

theres also people who will say like, dream and sapnap for example are such good friends. i’m sure they cared for each other, but dream on multiple occasions has done horrible things to sapnap with no regard for his feelings (like leading fundy to sapnaps pets during the petwar, leading tommy to sapnaps pets during the other petwar and encouraging him to kill them, handing mars over to tommy to use as leverage against sapnap, etc). george he’s been less awful too but he certainly spoke over him and ignored his feelings enough that george felt hurt. he had places in his hall of attachments for beckerson and mars. george and sapnap were right to walk away from being treated like that.

there’s also what you just said here — “dream puts on a villain persona for tommy”— but honestly he acts like that around quite a few people (example: eret) and it’s usually when he’s revealing crucial info, which leads me and many others to believe that ‘persona’ is actually a more truthful version of him.

there’s the fact that he really isn’t safe for people to be around (or at least he wasn't before the prison) because he was planning to come up with ways to control every single person by stealing and threatening their attachments (some of which were not items but were living animals, or a real breathing person).

and then people will say dream was doing exile to enforce rules, or to keep the peace— when it’s very clear in canon it was a deliberate plan to get tommy on his own and into the prison. (from the way he was framing tommy for multiple crimes, and having sam set up the prison, and kidnapping tommy instead of correctly exiling him, all at the same time).

not even going into how he wants to kill and revive people for fun or make tommy immortal.

it’s just— ignoring all these actual facts and saying “oh he misses his friends, let’s get him some friends now” reminds me of like. when people would put flower crowns on pictures of serial killers. and then, there’s hardly anyone on the server who wasn’t subject to dream’s plans, so there’s absolutely no one i would be okay with him interacting with.

just remembered about the torture thing, and wow i still hate it so much. it’s someone’s sick revenge fantasy twisted into a way to get a manipulative villain sympathy, and it’s just gross to me on every account. i do think dream is traumatized-- just not by l’manberg, which was a conflict he started on his own terms. i would think l’manberg did affect him, because he was scared of losing control.

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again— my ideal ending for dream would be for him to be sent far away from dsmp to an island full of therapy animals and super strong therapists who have never met him before. and for him to get a shit ton of therapy until he becomes a halfway normal person. and then eventually he could get integrated into society again; but a different one with new people. (although maybe dteam + bbh + puffy can visit him, they might still like him.)

none of the people on the server (who have all been affected by dream) should be burdened with befriending him or rehabilitating him— look how that turned out with sam! sam had a personal grudge towards dream and it ended with the poor dude being tortured every day; and sam himself falling into corruption and literally cutting off his boyfriends arm. like we can all see thats fucking awful right?

no one who was affected by dream should have to deal with him ever again. and contrary to popular belief, that includes a LOT more people then just tommy. dream isn’t just tommy’s antagonist, hes almost everybody’s.

the only person on the server who might also be able to stand to help dream is techno, and that’s from sheer lack of ability to give a shit. but techno is probably THE furthest thing from a good therapist there is lol, and dream needs better then that.

this kind of just ended up being a rant about my thoughts on c!dream, so im so sorry op. especially since it was probably negative for you. i hope you’re doing very well.

i guess in the end it’s true what you said— people will highlight or ignore things based on what characters they like, and it’s especially easy to do in this fandom, where half the content doesn’t even get watched and then we become a big echo chamber of half-truths.

considering dream has hurt so many of the characters i care about, i almost can’t understand how he could be someone’s favorite or comfort character— but he is nonetheless, and it would be unfair of me to be rude about that.

essentially it just bothers me to see someone who was a perpetrator of accurately portrayed abuse and manipulation (using both those words in their actual definitions, not just as random buzzwords lol) being given the flower crown edit effect. especially since he’s hurt the characters i care about a lot.

ANYWAY all of that being said (this got LONG im so sorry op) i am so so excited to get dream’s pov, because although i disagree with his actions strongly i actually find dream’s character very interesting and cool, and watching his POV is going to insanely fun. i cannot wait to see what theories get confirmed or denied

ALSO incase it wasn’t clear this is all /nm at you! you seem lovely and smart, and neither of us can help what characters we get attached to :]

[imagineabrighterworld]

Sunshine in the Night pt.4

  It was futile to push through the crowds of students, but you still tried to weasel your way into the heart. There were reporters and students all swarming the front gate, all trying to get into the school for some reason or another.

You just wanted to get through and find your friend.

Somehow you managed to slip between the heated bodies and ran past your fellow students, ignoring their confused faces as you raced up the stairs to the 1-A classroom. You are out of breath, heart thudding against your ribs as you see the students mingling outside the doors. Some were already inside while others lingered outside, talking amongst themselves. Few had signs of injuries, most looked completely fine. The only sign of something having gone on is the vaguely haunted look in the students eyes, the way their eyes shifted about.

You hold a hand to your chest, panting and gulping in breaths. “Toko- Tokoyami!”

A student looks your way, her golden eyes bright compared to her black sclera. “Tokoyami?”

You try again, tears in your eyes, the panic rushing up your throat and curling around your vocal cords like a fist. “Tokoyami! Is he okay?”

The pink skinned girl jogs to you, placing a comforting hand on your back. “Woah there! It's okay. He’s not here yet but he's okay.” She frowns, “This is about the attack two days ago right?” They had closed the school the other day, wanting to go over security protocol before letting the students back on campus.

You nod. Any embarrassment you might have felt about acting so strongly- or strangely to some- was overrun by your worry for your friend. You had been hanging out with him more often, his presence always soothing. He acted dark and mysterious, but he was sweet and courteous. He never judged you when you spoke passionately about your interests, or had too many questions, or even the rare times you had nothing to say at all. He was a good friend.

Hearing about the attack on the U.S.J. with the students of 1-A being at the center of it all shook you to your core. You hadn't thought to exchange numbers with your friend so you had no way of knowing if he made it out safely.

"Look- my name is Mina Ashido by the way- you can stay here with me until he gets here okay?" She strokes your back soothingly, something you greatly appreciated. You were a stranger to her yet she treated you so kindly. Later on you would be thankful Tokoyami had such a nice girl in his class.

"Thank you." You tell her your name, your breath now evening out as you wait for the familiar face of your friend.

Mina moves the two of you closer to the wall to keep from blocking the door for the other students. She twiddles her thumbs before speaking up. "So, are you and Tokoyami a thing?" She questions in a playful tone.

"Us?" Your mind blurs. "No- we- we're friends. We only met this semester. I hope we're close but I don't think we know each other well enough for that." You didn't mind her question. In elementary when you were but a shy wallflower, it would have sent you into a blushing fit. But you've grown from that! Still, you felt your heart race just a bit at the thought of your chivalrous friend having some affection towards you.

“Do you want to know him more? So you can be like that?” She hints with a small smile. It was a small nudge. A sly suggestion.

Did you? Well, you could imagine it. He was a good person, a very good person if what you had learned so far had anything to say.

But there was something that held you back from exploring the idea any further.

“Maybe.” You respond quietly, eyes on the floor, hands now gripping the strap of your satchel. “I- I'm just afraid I'm not enough.”

“What do you mean by that?” She asks. But before you can answer her, she nudges you gently on the ribs, pointing to the end of the hall. “There he is!” She cups her hands over her mouth. “Tokoyami!”

The boy startles, his gaze first going  to Mina before snapping to you. His sharp eyes immediately soften. He quickened his pace, reaching you in a matter of minutes.

“Is there something wrong?” 

Rather than answer him you take hold of his hand and twirl around him, lifting each of his arms, searching for injuries. There was nothing, luckily, as you heard a few students had been in the heart of the battle as well as the homeroom teacher being badly injured. 

You exhale a sigh of relief and lower his arm. “You're alright.”

“You were concerned over my safety?” He inquires. “I was away from the heat of the battle, safe for the majority of the fight.” 

Calm washes over you, your shoulders losing their tension. “Thats good..” 

The bell rings, signaling class was to begin soon. You look to the stairs behind you, knowing your class was rather far from his. “I have to go, but I’m glad you were- are safe.” Remembering the pink skinned girl next to you, you quickly add, “And you too Mina.” 

The girl laughs, knowing you had forgotten she was there, but she wasn't offended. Watching your interaction with the boy in front of you both was amusing for her. He acted so aloof in class, it was sweet seeing him invested in another person. 

Tokoyami reaches out to you, his hand lowering from reaching for your shoulder, to your hand, then to his side. He clenches it into a fist. “I will see you at lunch, yes?”

You nod, “Yeah.”

“Until then.”

You nod to then both before turning and heading to class. 

- - - 

At lunch, you wait for Tokoyami underneath a tree in the grassy area behind the main school building. You hadn't touched your food, even your favorite meal wasn't enticing enough to urge you to eat. 

You thought of what Mina had asked you earlier. 

What was stopping you from wanting Tokoyami’s affection? You knew the answer. It wasn't him. In fact, you felt warm when he was around. You felt every metaphor for love you've ever read. Every single one.

But your indecisiveness was what stopped you.

He had a goal on what he wanted to be. You didn't. 

You were afraid you would drag him down, be a weight instead of someone who could grow with him. 

“There is something bothering you.” Tokoyami starts off as soon as he sits down next to you, setting his tray aside. “Tell me.”

“I’m starting to become a poet.” You lay back on the soft grass, tilting your head to look at him. “You've rubbed off on me and now I can’t stop thinking.”

“That’s good.”

“Not really. It’s like I have to run a marathon to grab a cup that's right next to me.” You poke his arm. “And you're the cup.”

Tokoyami lays down next to you, Dark Shadow pooling next to him, lazily dozing in the shade. “Tell me.” He repeats in earnest. 

“I think I like you.”

From beside you, you could feel him tense up. Out of awkwardness or shyness you can't tell. But it was out in the open now. You couldn't swallow your words back up. 

“It would be really easy to love you.” You look up at the branches of the tree above you, arms forlding over your chest like a mummy. “You're the kind of boy I read about in novels. Sweet and mysterious. Like dark chocolate with a creamy milk chocolate center. But I’m just a bitter truffle. I’m not at the point where I can be in the same box as you.” You look back at him. “Does that make sense?”

“It does.” He says in an odd tone, as if he was surprised that it did in fact make sense. 

You trudge onward. “I don't want my bitter to unbalance you. If I were to be something to you- or to anyone, I would want to be an anchor. A helper, not a weed that stunts their growth.” Your eyes flicker away from his. “You're my friend. I like it this way. If I can’t like you that way, I’d be satisfied with this.”

Now it was up to him. You felt you said your piece, the thoughts that had been swimming in your mind since you first heard his laugh. It was a small infatuation, but you weren't lying when you said it would be easy to love him. 

You could imagine days of sunshine and rain, and they would all be full of life with him by your side. It wasn't obsession. It was comfort and sweetness. It was calm in the eye of an unknown storm.

You hear the sound of ruffling as he moves onto his side, laying on his side to look at you properly.

“You are bittersweet. You are incomplete. But we can balance each other, piece by piece.” He offers to you, his words a soothing balm to the aching in your chest at the thought of him potentially pushing you away.

“I’m not too much for you?” You whisper. “I know I can be nosy and straight forward. It doesn't bother you?”

He chuckles. “No. I think you're just what I need.”

- - -

Extra:

“So, does this mean I can technically call you my boyfriend?”

“Whatever you are comfortable with.”

You give it some thought, turning over phrases of affection in your mind. What fit him? Boyfriend felt odd. You liked it but it didn't feel like the right word..

“My better half?”

He chokes on his apple, covering his beak with his elbow.

“Are you acting shy now?” You giggle, feeling lighter now that your feelings were out in the open.

“I- I am not against it in private.”

“Okay.. how about.. Romeo.” You shoot him a wink.

A smile tugs at his mouth. He nods in acceptance. “I will take it.”

You pick up your bottle of water, pausing to add a small note before taking a gulp. “As long as we don't go through with the whole poisoning bit.”

“I wouldn't dream of it my dear.”

- - -

Tag List: @evierena , @aradias-crypt 

[yamithediaperdork]

Draco’s New Daddy (Harry Potter)

From one of the great pure blood families and with a brilliant future ahead of him, Draco Malfoy these days was living a very much different life then he had even planned on. unable to land a job at the ministry of magic due to well, everything his family had done under he who should not be named, Draco found himself working odd jobs until the day he'd happened to run into a old classmate from Hogwarts: Miles Bletchley. Miles was apparently doing well from the fine clothes he was wearing compared to the blue jeans and formally white t-shirt but now mostly gray that Draco was wearing. He'd invited Draco out to lunch, and after assuring him he'd cover the bill, they had gone off and talked for hours.

As it turned out Miles was a gent of sorts for special young men who had certain..looks..and got them one night 'jobs' so to speak that payed well and of course took a modest percentage of the money as he wasn't doing this for fun. Draco knew how to read between the lines and blushed at the offer that was being made. "Listen Draco, with your looks, your frame and honestly..well..how some people feel about your family, I can promise you a lot of money for 1 to 2 works work at a time. And lots of clients." Miles said, chugging a butter beer. Draco was drinking something a little stronger and his bale cheeks were flushed, though from the offer or the wine it was hard to say. They had a private booth and Miles had cast a spell to give them further privacy, though he'd stressed what he was doing wasn't strictly illegal, it was gray area and best not to draw attention to it either way. "let's not beat around the bush Miles, you want me to be a prostitute." Draco said. "In a way yes, though in others no. I promise you'll never have to have sex with anyone who hires you unless you want to." Miles said. "..So loads of cash, and not getting my ass plowed..what's the catch?" Draco asked, raising a eyebrow and having more then a few doubts. "the catch is that each of my boys plays out one role for the lonely wizards of the world. One boy plays the part of a human dog,anther a sissy girlfriend, anther a maid and so on and so on. Any sex is to be agreed upon by both parties and I have my own branch of well..enforcers shall we say..who deal with clients who break that agreement." Miles said. "Bloody hell.." Draco said, shaking his head. "And what role would you have ME play then?" he was pulling his glass to his lips and started to take a sip when Miles told him. "A nappy boy." Draco spit out his drink and looked at his old school friend in disbelief.

And yet he'd ended up taking the job. Miles was true to his word that Draco never once found himself sucking dick or taking it up the ass, though he'd been forced to smog with more then a few men. And it was mostly men who hired him. people who loved seeing the pure blood in massive cloth nappies and a baby bonnet sitting on the floor and shaking a rattle. the fact that even after a year of doing this job he could still blush so bad while doing it only endeared him to his daddies and mommies. And Miles had been telling the truth at JUST how many clients he had. If Draco had so wanted he could of worked every days of the week for a month and still of had at least 2 clients a day. The only horrible part of the job (well aside from the general shame) was having to make BM's in his nappies. Oh how people loved to bounce him in a smelly nappy on their laps with a fat dummy in his mouth and chuckle as the tears rolled down his cheeks. Still it wouldn't be too much longer Draco figured before he could retire. he wasn't blowing though his money this time like he had before and was careful to save even coin he could, only treating himself to luxury items once a month. (In fact, he was so good with his money Miles had Draco speak with other of the working boys about how to better manage their finances!) He'd been relaxing in his modest flat and reading the paper when a Owl had arrived from Miles, telling him of a urgent client who was willing to pay triple the normal fee for a session with the nappy lad tonight, despite Draco having made it clear he was taking a few days off to treat a embarrassing little problem. His diaper rash. Miles note made it clear that it was up to Draco, but he strongly urged him to accept. apparently this client had used other boys and wanted to try something new and some vague threats had been made about dropping the service altogether. "Shit. Guess it's time for me to be the company man." Draco muttered and sent a message off saying he'd take the job, and asked for the location of tonight's 'daddy' Apparently Miles had figured Draco would do that because just as he sent his owl off, anther one appeared with the info he asked for. wondering just how well his agent knew him Draco went and packed up his work bag and headed out the door.

His work bag was a black duffel bag, filled with Nappies and plastic pants (and Panties) in his size. not that he wouldn't of minded if his clients supplied for him but some just went all cheap and others went over the top and expected him to go halves with him on it. if he brought his own supplies it just worked out better. He had some t-shirt and bibs in there, along with his selection of dummies and a bonnet, and most embarrassingly to him, a dress. It'd been a give from the first mommy he'd had and he'd promised to keep it even though he hated  the thing. Still, you never know when someone else might want him in a dress and this one again fit him to a t. One of his recurring daddies had tried to get him a proper diaper bag but Draco had drawn the line there since he had to think of how that would look walking to and from his daddies or mommies places. The Hotel where the big shot daddy was staying wasn't far from Draco's place so he walked, it was late enough out that not too many people were on the streets unless they were outside of a pub having a smoke. 'The wacky duck..some people shouldn't be allowed to name things.' Draco thought with a smirk, reading the sign. it wasn't a high class hotel which was good because it meant not having to fuss too much with the front desk, nor did it look like a cheap and easy place which meant a lot Friday night party animals around to make it risky. walking in he did go to the front desk and a young lady was behind it and smiled at him. "Excuse me miss, I'm looking for room 201?" He asked in a polite tone. She gave him a huge smile and giggled a little, making him a little nervous. "Ohhh one of his boys huh? second floor, right next to the lift." She said with a wink then asked. "So what's YOUR gimmick?~" "...Not to be rude but I don't believe thats any of your business. Thanks for the directions." Draco said, face turning reds he turned and walked fast for the lift, he chuckles ringing in his ears. getting off on the second floor, room 201 was right where she'd said it was and he made his way over and knocked on the door. five fast knocks and then three knocks with a space of 3 seconds between them just as the note had said to. He could hear movement in the room and tried to banish all thoughts of discomfort away and focus on being a good boy for his daddy. 'your a little nappy boy. your a little nappy boy..' He chanted in his head, and put a big grin on his face that vanished as the door was opened up. "Draco? what are you doing here? I'm expecting..company.." Harry mother fucking potter said, going from looking confused to smiling. "I..I think there's..been..a mistake." Draco squeaked out. of all the people in the world he LEAST wanted to know about this job, Harry potter was number one, with Hermione at 2 and Ron at three. "oh I don't think so little man." Potter said, looking totally delighted. "Thought I wish Miles would of told me YOU were going to be my little nappy boy. I'd of doubled my offer. Now, are you going to come in like a good boy or does daddy need to spank?" as Harry spoke he moved to the side and gestured for Draco to come in. The mental image of him over Potter lap and the phantom pain of it made a hand go to Draco's back side and he sprinted into the room and Harry closed the door behind him. "Good Boy."

Draco looked around the room, it was at least decently furbished and even had a muggle telle on a night stand and then turned his attention to potter. the 3 years since high school had been more then kind to harry who was tall, broad shouldered and handsome while Draco could of passed for a 11th grader after shaving. "I'm going to set a timer once our session starts.I've paid for two hours and I intend to get every last second." Harry said then walked over and sat on the large bed, and patted next to him for Draco to sit. The blond nodded slowly and walked over. "Look, I know this must be a bit of a shock to you finding out you'll be getting babied by me, but to be fair it's not like I ever thought you were into anything like this." Harry said, giving a warm smile. "I ..I um..See..Miles just offered me the job..and..I rolled with it..I-I thought you were married to Ron's little sister though? so what are yo-" "Doing playing around with a bunch of fetish bitches? Me and Ginny have a understanding, I can play with them but no sex and then she doesn't have to bark like a dog or wear nappies." Harry laughed. Draco nodded, that kinda made sense. "Um..I..I don't know if I feel comfortable with you..seeing me in.." Draco mewed softly. "Draco I thought we settled this. I paid for this,so you ARE going to be my stinky little nappy boy. I wasn't Joking about spanking you if I-" Whatever Harry was going to say was cut off as a pot of fear escaped from Draco's  backside, making him shut his eyes and bury his face in his hands mortified. "heh, seems like you're more of a little boy then you thought if just the threat of a spanking can motivate you that much." Harry chuckled and then pulled Draco in for a one armed hug. "Not a little guy all the time." Draco whined, and KNEW how bad it sounded. "it's just a job!" "Mhmmm I'm sure. Well since it's just a job let's get started. I was told you'd bring you're own supplies?" Harry said, clearly not believing a word Draco said, and making him give a huff and a pout. Which really, wasn't helping his case. Draco got  up off the bed and stormed over to his duffel bag and picked it up, bringing it over and dumping out it's contents. "See? only a professional would have THIS much of a selection to make for his customer!" he said, then the color drained from his face as Harry picked up the dress. "Heh, do i wanna ask?" Harry asked, holding it up. "..I'd prefer you not." Draco said in a small voice. "oh and plastic panties too~ How adorable! Sorry though Draco, I'm more into diaper BOYS. Maybe next time though." Harry said and winked and Draco found himself wishing he could melt into the floor. "T-That's ok." he mewed weakly. Harry chuckled and looking over the odds and ends made his choice. "Alright, I'm going to start the timer. any more attuide and it'll be you over my lap little man. Understand." Harry said, reaching for a timer that was on his nightstand. "Yes Daddy."

Now on the clock Draco waited for his first order from Harry. "Alright now little man, first things first, I think it's time you lost those silly big boy clothes. lord knows HOW you've kept your pants dry this long but I'm not losing from my damage despot when you tinkle all over the floor just because you wanted to play pretend and act like a big kid." Harry said. Draco nodded and slid his green t-shirt off first, then his blue jeans leaving him in a pair of blue briefs, though he paused for a moment to kick his pants and shirt away from him. "Awww, cute briefs, though too bad there's no print on them." Harry commented. "Lose' em." Draco bite his touage, Harry wasn't the first person to think he'd be adorable in animal prints or worse and he doubted he'd be the last, still it was a sore spot for him so he turned away as he slid the undies off to semi moon his 'daddy' and it was only with a stab of pain hit his cheeks he recalled about his diaper rash. "Ohhh I see why somebodies been a grumpy Gus! Poor widdle Draco has diapie rash!" harry said, sounding sympathetic but as Draco looked over his shoulder Harry was smiling ear to ear. "Is somebody not using enough nappy cream? or just sitting in his poopie nappies for ages because he likes the feeling?" "I..I do not! I just..I.." Draco fumed and went to go on a mini fit but BARELY caught himself before he'd earn a spanking. clenching his teeth he hissed though them. "My last client likes boys getting nappy rashes and didn't let me use power or cream if you MUST know daddy." "aww, don't worry! I'll use lots." Harry sand and then took 4 of the thickest terry cloth diapers Draco had and laid them out on a changing pad that was where a small rug had been. "wasn't there a rug there? what happened to it?" Draco asked, pointing and confused. "..Draco come on, we're wizards. what do you THINK happened?" "Oh..yeah.." feeling sheepish and covering his front with his hands Draco made his way over. (it wasn't that he didn't think harry wasn't gonna see them anyways, but LOTS of clients liked the all fake modesty bit.) "Lay on your tummy first so daddy can take care of your poor cheeks buddy and move your hands silly boy." harry said, taking a jar of rash cream from the pile and opening it. "Oh, the extra baby powder scent brand. very nice." "I..it's..what the customers like." Draco squeaked out, moving his hands and letting his 6 inches show though like a good boy he was bald down there. "Huh. that's cute." Harry commented seeing the larger then normal cock and Draco paused as Harry stared. "heh, just because I wear diapers for a living doesn't mean I'm tiny!" Draco said with a hint of pride. "And I'd agree except I know a enlargement charm when I see one." Harry said and snatched his wand up and in one swift motion, Draco's 6 inches because 1 and a half. "H-HEY! YOU CAN'T JUST" Draco yelped up, eyes having gone from wide in horror to filled with fury. "You know how much that bleeding cost to get done so it would stick around!?!" "Draco, one warning. attuide dropped or over my knee and a slipper on your buns." Harry said then added. "I'll give you a little extra to pay for your next charm." Draco clenched his fists but then took a deep breath, reminding himself he was a professional damn it then in a calm voice replied. "I can technicality end the session now potter..your not allowed to use magic on me without my consent. But I'll take you up on your offer." with that he laid himself down on the mat, with his buns up and turned away from harry. "of course admit it. you want someone to treat your owie bum." Harry said and then started to coat the cream on the boys back side. Having found his favorite black and green dummy on the mat, Draco just popped it into his mouth, not dignifying potter with a answer.

His bottom coated with cream and powdered, and then his front looked after too, Draco had to admit Harry had done a better job then he could of on his own and it was feeling much better as Harry pinned the thick nappies shut on him. Picking up a pair of clear rubber pants Harry smiled down at Draco. Lift your legs please little one." Draco suckled on his dummy and nodded, helping daddy slide them over his feet and ankles and then lifting up his bum without being told so daddy could get them part way up over the diapies. "Hmm, mighta gone too thick..or we just need to use a little gravity." Harry said. Before Draco could go to ask what he meant by that, Harry had lifted him up and was holding him up by the rubber pants. not wanting to fall backwards as harry semi bounced him, Draco whined behind his dummy and leaned forward, semi hugging Harry as he got the rubber pants over the diapers. "awww, I love you too~" Harry chuckled and standing Draco on his feet, kissed his cheek bringing a fresh blush to the blonds face. the dummy fell from Draco's mouth and while Harry caught it Draco started up again. "I-I don't, that's not! Look I just didn't wan-" Draco started to whine when the dummy was popped back in his mouth and despite himself he started to suckle on it again. "you don't have to be bashful with me little man. Lots of your fellow workers have started to swoon over me." Harry said. Draco huffed and glared, but kept the dummy in his mouth.

Harry smirked, Draco was just TOO perfect like this and such a fussy baby he hadn't even noticed that the dummy had been enchanted with a little charm used by parents who's infants/toddler were backed up but refused to take their medicine. the more Draco suckled the stronger the charm would get and with how huffy he was and the rapid suckling he was doing.. "what down you come take a seat on daddies lap and let him fondle that big fat nappy butt of yours?" Harry said and Draco squirmed like crazy but let himself be lead over. He was a little disappointed he hadn't had a chance to spank the little guys behind, he'd  gotten a pair of slippers JUST for that, but then again the little guy had nappy rash. 'once it clears up though..' Harry thought with a grin. there was no way this was gonna be a one time thing,that was for sure. Sitting on the bed and Draco on his lap side saddle style, Harry smirked as the big baby (oh sorry, professional) put his armed around Harry's neck and leaned in with his head on Harry chest/shoulder 'God, who's falling for who here?' Harry wondered, a flush coming to his own face. "You know you really are too cute. I was going to make my nappy lad crawl around and humiliate himself, but with you, I'll just read you a story. would baby Draco like that?" harry asked. Draco nodded and smiled a little behind his dummy. "There's just Onnne little thing..you have to keep your dummy in. otherwise I'll have you making a got out of yourself. got it?" Harry added. again Draco nodded and Harry poofed a nursery book out of thin air and started to read.

Draco squirmed slightly as he sat in daddies lap. this was..well..alot nice then his normal clients treated him and he did indeed find himself maybe kinda slightly crushing on Harry, and it was giving him butterflies or something in his tummy. He closed his eyes and suckled on his dummy, listening to Harry read and enjoying the hand that kept patting on his Nappied behind. "-and then the big bad wolf..Heh, Still awake little one?" Came daddies voice and Draco opened his eyes and nodded, giving a smile from behind his dummy. "Just checking. If you wanna go for a little nap I can pause the timer, just let me know." Harry said then leaned down and kissed Draco's forehead. Draco squirmed, the idea f just going for a nap and then waking up to be babied more suddenly felt really tempting! Still it was better to get the job done and maybe just kinda hint he'd be open to a longer session next time. He wasn't even sure how much time was left, just that daddy had been reading to him and he'd gone into a total little state he wasn't used to. "You ready for me to go back t-" Harry started to say but then he was cut off as a loud but muffled poot escaped out Draco's behind, and warmed up Harry's hand. "oh, Is somebody about to make presents like a good boy?" harry asked. Thankfully the nappies cut down on the smell but Draco whined, something he'd eaten was NOT agreeing with him because that fart had been rancid! he reached up and removed his dummy and looked at Harry with a sheepish smile. "Uh..sorry,know that stinks I don-" He started to say but anther poot forced it's way out with gusto, almost hurting and harry laughed. "I think that answers if somebodies gonna make BM for daddy." he said then wrinkled his nose. "About time too from the smell of things little guy." "I-I swear I used the potty earlier today! I don't know why i-it's guhhh!" Draco cried out as a super wet fart erupted and he mewed. "M-Maybe we should reschedule this..this is gonna be toxic!" "oh no, it's ok, I don't mind a stinky boy. and I paid to have the whole floor to myself so no ones gonna complain." Harry chuckled and shifted Draco on his lap. Now instead of sitting side saddle he was back to Harry's front and his bum on Harry's right leg, with Harry holding his arms and kissing the back of his neck. Draco..wasn't exactly how he felt about al of this, normally he would of charged extra for the neck kisses but daddy was kissing and nibbling just in the right places. "oh! Oh!! Daddy!" Draco mewed like a little needy boy..no. a little needy BABY. "Be a good boy for daddy baby Draco, Make me a nice BIG present." Harry coo'ed into Draco's ear. Be a good boy. Jesus. just the words were driving Draco wild and his little nub was twitching as the command took hold and he started to grunt and push. "Y-Yesh daddy! I'll be a good boy! da bestest boy!" Draco cried out. His rosebud opened wide and muck rapidly poured out, filling up the seat of the nappies so fast that Draco also seemed to get taller! as the filth filled the diaper and the smell filled the room, Draco drooled and moaned as Harry went back to assaulting his neck with kisses. "Good boy Draco! Such a good big stinky boy!" Harry coo'ed. Draco mewed happily and kicked his legs, not even minding the smell or feel and only semi lifted himself up for a few to keep going and gasped as the muck started to fill the front of his nappy, coating his cock and balls. "Oh! Oh! Daddy i wuv you! I wuv going popie fer you!" Draco baby babbled on and as even as he farted and kept going. Harry chuckled and lifted the big baby up and turned him around, but still on his knee. "And I love you. now you almost done?" Harry asked. "Uhh.." Draco looked unsure and make a scrunchie face that had Harry biting his bottom lip and there was a few sputtering farts then nothing. "I fink so." "Good, who wants to play horise?" Harry asked with a loving smile. "Oh but da-da..dat'll make my BM go all over mah nappies." Draco said, biting his lip now. the sensation of being picked up and sat in his mess had been well..wonderful! "Don't worry about it. That's daddies job to worry about those things." Harry said and then kissed Draco on the lips, deep and hard and the little professionals mind and self control was gone as the kiss broke off. "So..Horise?" "hehehe ya ya! Horise daddy!" Harry smirked and getting Draco to hold onto his shoulder and putting his hands on the big babies sides, started to bounce him with his knee. gently at first but then picking up more and more speed as he went on. the smushing of the mess was having it's effect as Draco gasped and moaned and leaned forehead, face in Harry's chest as he was getting closer and closer to making a sticky in his diapers. it went without saying that he had flooded them though he couldn't be sure when and god he was just..so..close.. BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! the ride stopped and Draco was trying to figure out what had happened and what was that noise, as daddy sat him on the bed. "Looks like our time is up buddy. But this was VERY fun. we should do it again sometime." Harry said., turning off the timer and kissing Draco's cheek. "Buh..buh..I was bot ta." Draco mewed and whimpered. "I know buddy, but like you said, your a professional. If you're free tomorrow night I would LOVE to book anther session." Harry said, chuckling at the look on the blonds face. "I..But..I.." Draco's mind was frazzled, and he was finding it hard to even think. "I put some extra gold in your diaper bag for you little guy.to cover you're penis enlargement charm. though i think a little cock looks better." Harry said, sweeping the baby stuff back in the duffel bag and handing it over to Draco. The blond was just so out of it, wanting more, so horny he barely realized he was being ushered out the door with his pleas of five more minutes ignored. A final pat on the butt and a kiss on the cheek and Draco was out in the hall and numbly made his way to the lift, thinking about how good being with potter had felt and how amazing he was. It wasn't till she stepped out onto the first floor and started to make his way into the lobby and heard a snort then lots of laughter he realized he'd forgotten to change back, and was still in just his soiled nappy and socks. "So I guess THAT'S your gimmick huh?" the clerk asked. "I..I..I'll be right ba-" Draco started to say but was cut off. "Ohhh Sorry. Mr.Potter has made it clear once one of his guest is back in the lobby, they're not to be allowed back into his room. Sorry sweetie, you'll have to go home like that." The clerk said, though her tone made it clear she was far more delighted then sorry. Whining loudly though happy that he kept his flat key in his duffel ba, the big stinky baby started the normally short but tonight long walk home.

the end

[ao3gingerswag]

Learning

Prompt Submission by modernurbanfantasy:

I would love some sort of future situation (if/when) Dean, Cas and Sam when they are back at the inn around how smart Sam is. Like we know how smart Sam is (and I think Dean probably does as well) and he wants to get Sam some education (in the church or in some local school) but that is obviously v difficult. So he is all sad thinking about what he would need to do to get Sam into a school and is trying to hide it from Case and then like idk Bobby or something is able to help get Sam some sort of deal with the local school bc they see how smart and talented he is. Idk just an idea. 

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR THE OUTSIDE

To: Pastor Murphy

My name is Sam and I am 10 years old. I saw your pamflet on the phisics of momentem posted on the church bulitin borde. I liked it a lot. I am writing to you becase I think you made a mistake tho. You cubed the largest side of the triangel when I think you meant to square it. If you square it it solves the problem you were talking about. I tride to go in to tell you but the man at the door said no I cant come in becase theres no church today and only the students can go in. And I dont go to the college. I tride to say I need to see you becase you made a mistake and tride to show him but he said i dont know what your talking about. So I am writing this note and leaving it here on the borde for you.

Thank you.

-Sam

Dear Sam,

In all the years I have posted my articles on the church bulletin, I have not once received a response from the local population. I have always continued to post them regardless, just in case anyone is reading them. I was so happy to discover that my efforts have not entirely been in vain.

I have received several letters from my colleagues since the publication of my paper pointing out my error, but none have been so polite as yours. Did you know, none of my own students caught the mistake you so kindly made me aware of? Authority is the bane of progress, I often think, as it seems since I took my position none but the few others in similar positions dare to question whatever I say.

Sam, I am delighted that Whitecreek is blessed with a child as inquisitive and bright as you. It is not often that I meet ten year olds who are interested in physics, much less those who can follow my published papers. If you like physics, I would be happy to meet with you and your parents this coming Sunday to discuss the subject and the possibility of furthering your education.

I am leaving this note with the guard you spoke to last week, and have asked him to give you this letter if he sees you again. If you have another letter for me, you can leave it with him and he will pass it along. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Pastor Murphy,

The Whitecreek College of Natural Sciences

Hello Pastor Murphy,

Sorry I didnt come to the church Sunday I didnt get your letter until now. I dont live in whitecreek we only come once a month to get suplies. I live at the inn outside of whitecreek they call it the willow inn becase it is near a willow tree. Maybe you have heard of it maybe not if you dont travel.

I like everything not just phisics I like biolagy and astranomy and math and I like reading and I like learning and I like looking at bugs and plants and things in the woods. My dad didnt like it when i read tho becase he didnt know how and he said do you think your better than me. I said no but he still got mad at me. But I dont live with him anymore.

I really like learning a lot. I would like to meet you and talk about phisics and other things but I dont have parents I just have Dean and Cas. They run the inn and I help them. They said I can meet with you but Cas said to tell you that we have no money for school becase he said maybe you think I’m rich becase I can read and write but we are not rich. I learned to read by myself becase I like it. So I cant go to school and cant further my educatin like you said but I would still like to meet with you please if you want to.

Do you have any books I could look at? I like books but no one has any books. Cas has a book and he let me read it but I read it like a hundred times now and memerized it. If you have any books I could look at I would be very gratful and I would not mess them up I would be very careful. But if you dont have books or dont want me to look at them thats ok i understand i would still like to meet you please. I have a lot of questins. Like is the moon hot or cold. And lots of other things. I used to ask my dad but he yelled at me and sometimes he hit me i think especially when he didnt understand the questin.

It is better now becase Dean was always nice to me and listened to my questins and Cas I dont know him so well yet but he is nicer than dad and he hasnt gotten mad at me for asking questins yet. He says you are very smart Sam and it is good to ask questins which is nice. But even tho Dean and Cas let me ask questins alot they sometimes know the answer but usually they dont. They say you know more than me Sam. I think I do know more than them but only becase they dont know how to read I think everyone could learn everything if they just knew how to read. Thats how i learn things.

Please let me know if you still want to meet with me even tho I didnt see your letter in time. The guard said you are not here today becase you are at a lectchure about math in a diffrent city that is so exciting maybe you can tell me about it when you come back. I will be here again in four weeks I will come and maybe I can see you or maybe there will be another letter eether way thank you I am so happy.

-Sam

To: Sam, ten years old. Willow Inn, outside of Whitecreek.

Dear Sam,

I was truly overjoyed to receive your most recent correspondence. I had worried that I had scared you off or that your interest in science had faded. Clearly, these were merely the fears of an old man, who has become a bit too paranoid in his old age. I have in fact heard of the Willow Inn, and in fact I have stayed at it a few times when traveling that direction for a conference or a lecture. It has been a few years since I last had the pleasure of receiving their hospitality, but I had thought it was run by only a man and his son, who was about 13 at the time. Has the inn changed hands, since I was last there? Or has my faulty memory yet again betrayed my years?

In any case, I have sent a courier with this letter to the inn, in order to avoid missing you yet again when you again make your way into town. Sam, I am absolutely still interested in meeting you, regardless of your financial situation. Your literacy and thirst for knowledge is made all the more impressive by your lack of formal education. I will happily share all the resources I have with you, if you would like to learn. The college’s library has many books on all of the subjects you have expressed interest in. We have collections on physics, biology, astronomy, math, and several thousand others. All of these can be made available to you, and if you are as careful as you promise you will be, you can borrow almost any of them and take them home with you for the month. I would be happy to meet with you and discuss your readings when you make your regular trip to town, and could suggest which books you may want to start with, and which to continue with once you have studied those.

I am sorry that you have had difficulty in the past when you have tried to express your curiosity. Unfortunately there are many in the world who don’t care for knowledge, and resent those of us who seek it. I am glad to hear that you are now living with people who are more understanding of your interests, ignorant though they might be of them. I must say that I am struck by your optimism regarding the natural learning capabilities of the general population. I strongly agree with your statement, which I have quoted here because it means so much to me: “I think everyone could learn everything if they just knew how to read.” This is an opinion which I have always agreed with, and have been trying to convince many of my colleagues of for most of my long career. I am glad we are of the same mind in this area.

In answer to your question: Unfortunately, no one knows for sure if the moon is hot or cold. The prevailing theory currently is that it is cold. The reasoning here is that we are fairly certain it is made of stone, and stone is cold unless otherwise heated. In the absence of an internal heat source, we assume the moon is likely cold to the touch. However, we cannot know this for sure without knowing exactly what it is made of and how this material would be affected by the heat of our sun at its current level of exposure. Perhaps when you grow up, you will be able to figure this out for us.

I look forward to hearing your other questions when we meet, and I of course will be happy to share what I learned at my conference with you. If I am correctly understanding your schedule, I believe you will be in town again two Wednesdays from when this letter should reach you. I will be at the church from dawn to dusk on that day. The guard will know to let you and your family into the building, and we can discuss the possibility of further meetings then. Please give my best to your family, and I wish you the best until then.

Pastor Murphy,

The Whitecreek College of Natural Sciences

Hello Pastor Murphy,

I asked the man to wait for a minit so I can write a letter back and he said he would but I cant take forever he said so I wont. I am so excited to meet you in two weeks I am going to write all of my questins down. I am so excited to see your books I am so excited to learn. Cas said we can all come meet you together and then they will go do shoping and I can stay if thats ok or Dean can stay with me if you want. That is so intresting about the moon i didnt think about that thank you for explaneing. I will be so careful with your books if you let me take them home and I will read anything you say I should I will be good and learn fast and you will be happy you let me learn I promise I will be good and you will not regrat it. Thank you I am so excited sorry this is mesy and there are stains I am crying a lot. I would wait to write later but the man wants me to hurry up. I used to dig in the trash to find anything with words on it to read and Dean would let the man at the church do bad things to him so he could bring me pamflets sometimes. I said dont do that but he did anyway and I was always so happy to get them even tho I said dont do that. Which I felt bad about but I still read the pamflets. Anyway if you let me take lots of books home I will learn everything and I will read to Dean and Cas so they can lean too and I will be very happy. I am so excited thank you I will see you in two weeks.

p.s. i forgot to say. Cas’s dad died and now he runs the inn with Dean who is my friend.

-Sam

To: Sam Winchester, ten years old, of brown hair and brown eyes. Willow Inn, outside of Whitecreek.

Dear Sam,

I have sent the courier along once again with this letter. The suggested coursework I promised you is enclosed. I also again wanted to express how wonderful it was to meet you and your family, and how excited I am to have such a bright young man under my tutelage. Your questions were delightful, and I can only hope that I have answered them to your satisfaction.

Please do reiterate to your friend Dean that it was lovely to meet him as well, and that he will always be welcome in my church regardless of the content of his past.

I look forward to seeing you all again in person next month, and wish you the best until that time comes.

Pastor Murphy,

The Whitecreek College of Natural Sciences

Hello Pastor Murphy,

Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love,

Sam :)