#or that soul seems receptive to mind in a way he never was to heart

[twig-gy]

heart: you like him. you definitely like him. my impulse to shove you two into a closet together has never been higher

mind, being a bold-faced liar: i hate religious people

anyway nonromantic mindsoul. anyway no matter if its romantic or not the pining would be. so bad. so bad it would be toxic. shows up on geiger counters kind of aggressive. heart would be like 'idk what you two have going on but fix it' and mind would hit him with a metal bat

[bagopucks]

J. Hughes - Mine All Mine

✄————————————

Jack Hughes x Fem!reader

Requested✨

Word Count: 1.6k

Warning(s): Relationship insecurities, minor angst

—————————————

Nobody embodied black cat and golden retriever like Jack and I. Heart warming and full of wonder clashed in a crunchy harmony with indifference and a guarded personality. Jack had an innocence that made him special. I sometimes wondered just how blind he was to the cruelties of the world, but I never dared to ruin that part of him. I envied Jack in only the way a girlfriend could. I wished I could see the world the way he did, and yet I knew I never would. My mind had been tainted by past and present. By reality and technology. While Jack seemed so perfectly protected from the atrocities of life, I seemed to always encounter them.

I saw Jack as an angel. Heaven sent. Myself? I was merely a tainted soul who’d gotten lost on the way to hell. My darkness made his light all the more prominent.

“I love that movie!” His loud voice carried across the venue. I peered over my glass of wine toward a table full of seated men and women. Jack was always so social. Especially at parties. Despite my love for weddings, I was not as outwardly jovial. I had a subtle adoration for things. A solemn love. I liked to sit and observe, and enjoy things alone. At least that was the way I had been before Jack. He was one of the only people who had ever been able to breach my walls.

People often told Jack he was too loud, how amusing was it that I was one of the only people who loved his volume. His expressiveness.

Though I did not crack a smile, my eyes lingered. And my heart thudded. Jack looked amazing. I prayed for the day that we too could be like the couple sitting alone enjoying a meal with fresh rings on their fingers, preparing to lay up our treasures together in our new home. My eyes locked with the woman next to Jesper. Our lingering gazes broke when her lips parted, and the distain in the woman’s expression spoke volumes despite her whispers.

I was not blind to the general disliking people took to me. Nobody ever understood how Jack and I were together, or how we worked. People were open about their disinterest in our relationship. A disrespectful and hurtful thing in many ways. But I had never been one to express my pain that others inflicted. I understood their concern, and yet it hurt all the same.

In truth, I too questioned my relationship with Jack. I feared I brought him down. I feared being with him did the exact opposite of what I swore to do when I chose to love him. I feared I held his wonder back.

I watched the woman’s distain shift into disgust. Jack seemed to reply to her words, but I could barely focus on him when she looked so… displeased. My heart sank. People often said I did not try hard enough to make Jack happy, and that was an easy factor to believe if nobody ever saw us in private. Though at first I used to scoff and roll my eyes, the more it was said, the more I began to believe.

I lost interest in the expensive wine I held, placing the glass down harder than I expected on the table. Maroon liquid rained down stop the white tablecloth. Smoothing out the wrinkles in my dress before I stood, I drew in a steadying breath. I needed a break from the party.

I found my way to the back of the large venue, pushing open one of the doors into the hallway. A cold gust of air hit my bare shoulders, causing me to shiver. The crowd inside the reception hall had made the room fairly hot. I did not expect the major temperature change.

My pace slowed as I found myself in a safer space, out of the vision of prying gazes. I strolled down the hall, my eyes settling on the strings of photos of the bride and groom. I envied how wide the bride seemed to make the groom smile in every photo. I never had that effect on Jack. I was not hilarious or quick witted. I had no great jokes, and even my accidents were never humorous. Of course Jack would argue, but I never agreed with him. Was I everything Jack needed? Or was everyone right? My heart hurt at the idea. Was I holding Jack back? Another shiver caused my hands to wrap around my own body. I rubbed my arms in hopes of warming up, my eyes locking on a photo of the beautiful couple at the last All Stars red carpet. Even in public, the bride could put on a show. Emotional loneliness quickly snuck up on me. Jack never had to worry about being unfulfilling in our relationship. Nobody questioned if he was doing enough. Nobody judged him. He didn’t understand. Nobody did.

“It’s freezing out here.” The loneliness only deepened at the sound of his voice. I was so enveloped in my own mind that I didn’t truly register Jack’s presence until he was draping his suit jacket over my shoulders, and wrapping his arms around my frame. I leaned into his chest, instinctually.

“Did I tell you how beautiful you are tonight?” Jack always knew how to settle in my presence. As much as I loved his loud and energetic side, I loved his quiet and sweet side even more. Jack surprised me with how intimate he could make almost any situation. Even this, standing together in solemn silence, feet away from a room full of people.

“Jack,” I spoke in return, turning my head to rest my cheek on his shoulder.

“I know.” He whispered. “I always know.” He didn’t always have the right things to say, but Id give him credit for knowing what to say about 90% of the time. I stood silently in his arms, uncertain of how to respond. How to open up. “Jesper’s girlfriend doesn’t know shit.” He broke the silence, “She doesn’t know you.” Addressing the topic never seemed to make it better. At least not in the moment. Tears threatened to ruin my maskera. “It’s just talk. That’s all it ever is. They don’t know you.” His grip tightened on me, and I shook my head. I would never see myself the way Jack saw me.

“What if everybody’s right? What if you’re just blind to my flaws because you think you love me?” I whispered, averting my gaze to the ceiling in a feeble attempt to avoid shedding any tears.

“Baby, I’m not blind to your flaws. I know you have ‘em, and I love every single one. But don’t you ever think that your personality is a flaw.” I tensed as Jack’s arms released me from their grip, but I allowed him to spin me around so we could stand face to face. His warm hand gently cupped my jaw, and I found myself yearning to be perfect for him. Wishing that I could be more deserving of the man in front of myself.

“Everybody tells me I’m too loud, and everybody tells you that you’re too quiet. We just balance each other out, eh?” He flashed a tiny grin in my direction. “There’s always gonna be haters, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that I love you.” I finally mustered the ghost of a smile, blinking to try and rid of the tears quickly.

“Even when I’m antisocial?” I prodded softly, maybe to boost my own ego. I reached upwards to wipe my tears, only for Jack to grab my hand and wipe them for me.

“Your silence is so hot.” I found amusement in his words, as well as embarrassment. I felt heat rise to my cheeks as an involuntary laugh parted my lips. “There’s my girl.” Jack brushed a lock of hair behind my ear, leaning in to kiss my cheek. “Proving everybody wrong one grin at a time.” The brunette grabbed ahold of my other hand, taking a backwards step and urging me to follow with a gentle tug. “Come dance with me. Please. I’ve wanted to get you in my arms all night.”

How could a woman feel any more wanted?

“Let me love you, please.”

How could a woman say no?

“My love..” I whispered, reluctant to move.

“In front of everyone else.” Jack insisted. “I want them to know I’m happy.” His words took the breath from my lips. The tears returned, but for more positive reasons.

“You’re happy,” I echoed as a gentle reminder to myself.

“I’ve never been happier.” I finally relented, moving along with Jack back through the hallway. Alongside him, I felt much less anxious about being observed by the crowd. I avoided their gazes as we entered the reception hall once more, hand in hand. Jack led me effortlessly toward the dance floor, at a steady but comfortable pace. I refused to allow my eyes to leave his frame, even as he pulled me into the middle of the floor, enveloping me in his arms all over again. The embrace was warm and safe. I rested my head against his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat as he slowly began to sway. I allowed his movements to shift my own body, closing my eyes to take it all in.

“Fuck ‘em all.. yeah?” Jack whispered in my ear. I chuckled.

“I like that.”

✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾

[ririkookiemonster]

Syllabus of Secrets - JJK

Summary: You have been crushing hard on your hot English professor, Jeon Jungkook for months. When nothing seems to work when you do everything to get his attention, totally fed up and desperate, you decide to go all out: submitting a smutty story for your English project, pouring all your fantasies about him into it.

Pairing: Professor!jungkook x Student!reader

Genre: Smut

Warning: Dirty talk, unprotected sex (DO NOTTTT) degradation, name calling, fingering, spanking, rough sex, smut reading, office sex, dom!jk, sub!oc, student x professor, reader sends Jk a smut report, basically porn but in words.

Word count: 2.4K+

Writer: riri⛓️

Note: this is my first writing omggg. i have absolutely NO experience in writing, i just love to write hahaha. i hope y’all love this. please let me know how you feel about this one shot. please leave your suggestions and do tell me if there’s anything i can do to improve my writing. there’s always a room for improvement. anywayssss i hope you like it haha <33

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DEBUT POST!!!!

You have been lusting after a certain someone for months now.

The cold-hearted English professor, Mr Jeon, had always been the definition of sexy. He is someone who can make ANYONE fold by just one look. He had always been on your mind since the semester began.  Always dressed sharply in a suit with a tie and a perfectly kept haircut, his sharp eyes seemed to cut through you whenever you spoke.

As you paced through the hallway, you remind yourself that he has never acknowledged your achievements in class, even when you’ve answered his questions with confidence, or aced another test. Again.

You've been doing everything you could to be noticed by him. Even if it meant giving him looks, yes, not the innocent ones, or dressing on a tight top, hoping, you’ll gain his attention.

You swore you’d do ANYTHING to make him notice you.

And so you did…

You decided to get a little creative with your last project. You know you went too far by writing an erotic article for your English project. The writing was impressive, with your use of descriptive adjectives helping to bring the scenes to life.

And guess what? He did notice the lewd piece of project you submitted. Now that he’s called you to his office, you’re nervous. You’re sure the cold man is going to chastise you for your suggestive writing, but you can’t help but be turned on by just the thought of him.

You pace through the hallway that leads you to his office, with your heart pounding  unsure of what kind of reception you’ll get from him. Now it’s either you risk a bad grade, or you take the risk of him being completely disgusted by you. You brace yourself and knock the door before turning the knob.

You peek in through the door, and a pair of cold eyes already welcome you, as you make your way inside the office.

“Sit down.” He said coldly.

 You gulp nervously and take a seat, maintaining eye contact with the handsome professor. His strong manly scent invades your senses, and his dark aura makes you you even more nervous, which doesn’t help the situation. He pulls out some papers and places them in front of you as his eye pierce through your soul.

“Miss Y/N. This… this is an analysis of English romanticism. But you know that, don’t you?”  He says, pointing at your English ‘project’.

“Sweetheart I’ve been overlooking your shamefull behaviour in my class for far too long, I see that my tolerance is now embolding you.” He adds.

“Mr Jeon I-”

“Let me be VERY clear that is a university, not a strip club. It is wildly inappropriate of you to wear those short skirts to my class and it is even more inappropriate for you to to be spreading your legs during my lecture to demonstrate your ‘lack of undergarments’ to me.” He cut you off, looking pissed, only making your jaw drop in surprise.

“I thought I might be imagining things but then you come in and hand me THIS SMUT for my feedback.” he adds, glaring at you.

“I-It was piece of my creative writing, nothing more, Mr Jeon.” You add, as you gulp nervously, looking at him with the most innocent eyes. He narrows his eyes at you, and exhales heavily.

“You are an audacious little minx, aren’t you?”

Your lips form a thin line as you look down at the floor. “I swear, it was nothing like that, Mr Jeon.”

“Drop the act you little whore!” Jungkook warned as he slowly walks towards you.

“Tell me, what do youi think happens when you tease your professor all this semester? What do you think happens when you spend your eyes glazed over my lecture? Playing with the hem of your skirt, teasing your lips with the tip of your pen as if their inclination is to wrapped around something.” He adds, making his way towards you.

“What do you think that does to me, you naughty little slut? What do you think it makes me imagine doing things to you.” He spoke in a low murmur, brushing away a strand of hair from your face.

“N-nothing.” You replied, biting on your lower lip, continuing to avoid eye contact with him.

“NO REALLY, TELL ME. I am your English professor, sweetheart. And we use words here. BIG DESCRIPTIVE WORDS, full of imagery.” He orders, as he kept his gaze on you. “And look at me when i talk to you, slut!”

Your eyes nervously find the way to his as you reply in a soft murmur. “That you’d want to fuck me…?”

Your reply only makes him chuckle mockingly. “Youre so cute. Is that all you think I’d do to you? I’d just fuck you? HOW UNIMAGINITIVE..”

He picks up the pages of your article and starts to flip pages. You swore you saw an evil glint in his eyes. “Lets see what you’ve written in your papers, don’t we?”

“You don’t think i’d ‘desecrate’ your needy cunt until you loose your mind?”

“Or how about offer you the ‘sips of divinity’ with the weeping tip of my cock until you’re drunk with lust?” He looks at you, his lips forming an evil smirk. “So my aspiring little y/n, is that what you want me to do to you?”

Shit.

You stare into those eyes, unsure of what to say, though you’ve been practically dying for this. You just nibble nervously on you lips and try to speak but your words get caught in your throat. Your face is flushed with embarrassment.

“I can see you’re too flustered to answer, Y/N. That’s alright for now, we’ll help that innocent mouth of yours to catch up with your deliciously vulgar mind soon enough. In the mean time how about you use your body to show me what you want?”

“W-what do you mean, Mr jeon?” You're shocked by his request and struggle to process what he's asking you to do.

“Sit on my desk with your legs spread. NOW.” Jungkook commanded, as he studies your body, waiting for you to stand up.

You hesitantly get up but a strong arm grabs you by the wrists and pulls you towards him. He's much stronger than you'd realized, and he easily lifts you onto the table behind you.

Jungkook stands over you, his eyes blazing with desire, as he slips his hand under your skirt until you feel his fingers lingering over your pantie’s waistband. Your mind is hazy as you feel it slipping down your thighs, leaving you exposed, feeling extremely aroused as you hear him and in a husky voice.

“Go on. let’s see if you’re more than just a tease. finger yourself, sweetheart. I want to see how desperate that needy little cunt of yours is.”

Following his orders almost immediately, you desperately start to touch yourself, inserting your finger deep in your already wet cunt, shamelessly moaning over your own fingers. Your lewd noises only made Jungkook smirk.

“While you shamelessly dive your fingers knuckle deep in that luscious little pussy of yours, i’ll dive deeper into the precious dirty mind of yours. Let’s see what other silly little fantasies you’ve written here, why don’t we?”

He smirked as he pulled those papers out, yet again. He cleared is throat, and started reading out loud.

“He towered over me with an obscene grandiosity, like some great erotic deity. his turgid member eclipsed my vision as the sun does the sky.” He laughs mockingly, continuing

“And look at this…. I felt an exhorting rush of pleasure as he pushed greedily into me, and again, penetrating my inner walls.”

He sighs and looks at you. “You know, if he’s already pushed into you, how is he further penetrating? you know what? I don’t even have the patience for this one.” He throws away the sheets as he looks to deep into your eyes, sending shivers down your spine.

“Your over use of adjectives is TERRIBLY self indulging, you know?” He stated.

You stared at him like a statue, completely silent. You took a deep breath as you finally mustered up the courage to reply. “My apologies Mr Jeon, but i think my project was a—”

“Hey hey hey!” He cut you you in middle as his face darkens and and he stands up abruptly. “Did you just stop fingering yourself, little slut!?”

And before you could answer, he grabbed you by your thighs, and pulled you towards him, your dripping needy cunt in display.

“You’re such a good student but you really are useless in fucking yourself properly. Look, I’ll show you how to do it!”

You let out a shriek as he shoved his long fingers inside you without warning, fucking your wet pussy in a ruthless pace. Your body started to shiver because of the vibrating sensation and the satisfaction his fingers were providing you.

“Oh fuck!” You let out a muffled moan, as you gripped his shoulder with one hand, and balancing yourself in the top of the table from the other.

“You like that, whore?” Jungkook asked, watching your lewd face, with drool covering your chin, fucking your cunt as fast as ever. You nodded in response, only to earn a merciless pinch in your clit by him, causing you whimper.

“WORDS! I NEED WORDS YOU LITTLE FUCKTOY!” Jungkook growled, fastening the pace of his hands, causing you loose your mind.

“Y-y-yes, i like when you finger m-me like a d-dirty slut i am, Mr J-jeon.” You managed to answer, which was quite brave after the merciless treatment you were getting by Jungkook’s fingers.

Jungkook smirked as he pinched your nipple, and continues to finger fuck you. “This is how a stupid little whore like you should be fingered. Roughly. Relentlessly. Ruthlessly.”

Feeding his ego and his arousal only more, you whimpered shamelessly, your legs shaking, as you feel a familiar knot forming in your stomach. You bite down on your lower lip to suppress your moans, but the fingering did nothing to your favor.

“Mr Jeon i t-think i am close…”

Jungkook glanced at you, and seeing your ruined face with smudged mascara and lipstick, with drool covered in your chin, he knew you were close.

“You cum very easily don’t you? Such a slut.” He scoffs. “You don’t get to cum on my fingers. I want you to cum on my cock, like you imagined me, in your fanstasies.”

He pulls his fingers out, and you only frown in response.

“Cmon, be a good girl and clean my fingers for me. I will reward you with my ‘turgid member’ soon after.”

He shoved his dripping fingers on your mouth as you tasted yourself on his fingers, You sucked and licked his fingers clean, as if your life depended on it, earning a smirk from him.

“Good girl. Now get up, and bend over facing the desk, with your legs spread apart.” He commanded as he helped you get up, and placed you in the position. He grabbed your hips as he thrusted roughly into your pussy, and started moving in a ruthless pace.

“O-oh my g-god Mr Jeon” You whimpered in pain and pleasure, as your one hand gripped his shoulder tightly, and the other rested on the table, to keep your balance. Your lewd noises only fed his ego and arousal, as he smirked maintaining the pace.

“This is how fucking sluts like you deserve to be fucked! Until you’re all swollen. Until you’re all numb. Until you forget why were you even here in the first place. and oh….” He landed a harsh spank on your ass, making you gasp in pleasure.

“Until you start to treat your professor properly. Until you forget every word of your pompous vocabulary.”

“I-i promise to be good Mr J-jeon..” You manage to mumble, as he continued to brutally punish your needy cunt.

“Oh you will, little bitch! You will be a good little whore for your professor. That’s what you get for being such a tease.”

You throw your head back as the familiar feeling of a knot in your stomach starts to overtake your mind again. You knew you wont be able to last long. “I-i am close, Mr Jeon!” You moaned out, only to earn a stinging sensation of a spank in your ass again.

“Be a good fucking slut and wait for me to cum too. Can you do that Y/N? can you do that? Hmmm?”

You nodded as you closed your eyes, trying to control your orgasm but the feeling of pleasure with his strong thrusts makes it unable to do so. You try to hold yourself as much as you could, while he started to fondle with your breasts, teasing the tip of your nipples with his thumb, making it only harder for you.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful, you know that Y/N? Good little slut.” He smashed his lips against yours, as he kissed you with all his might, his lips gradually trailing to your collarbone and then to your breasts. He started to suckle on your nipple, earning a loud moan from you.

“That’s it baby, be a good babygirl and cum for me. i am close too.” He declared, as he started to pinch your nipples, driving you over the edge with his manic pace.

“Fuck fuck fuck, i think i am cumming!”

“Go on little whore! milk my cock! show me how filthy you are. Cum for me!”

You feel a wave of pleasure wash over you, your toes curling and your vision blurry. Feeling you shudder and start to cum, Jungkook increases the intensity of his thrusts. You feel his member twitch as you knew he’s close. With one final thrust, he released his hot cum inside you, pulsing with each thrust. "Fuck," he grunts out between breaths.

His head rested against your shoulder, you both were breathing heavily, your sweaty bodies intertwined. After a few minutes, he pulled out of you with a wet pop, his cum dripping out of your walls. He grabbed a box of tissues from his drawer, and cleaned himself and your dripping, utterly spent core.

While you try to regain your composure, Jungkook helps you stand up and fix your clothes.

“T-thankyou professor.” Is all you could say, noticing his gesture.

“It’s alright, Miss Y/N.” Jungkook nodded, helping you to get on your feet. Just as you were about to leave, He called out.

“Miss Y/N, you know, whenever you need help, you can always approach me. You know where to find me…”

A red tint crept up on your face, as you nodded. “I will, professor. Have a good day” and exited his office.

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Please leave comments and let me know how you liked my debut post. and let me know if i can do something to make my writing better. a room for improvement is my driving force🩷🪽

~ riri💋

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#ririkookiemonster

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#syllabus of secrets

[borbygorlinbbqworld]

I loved the boss story. Would be cool to expand a part 2 with the reader and Nolan 👀

Please find Part 1 on my page!

---

Thanks, Boss! 2

The wedding reception had been wonderful. Kate's coworker had written an amazing, romantic speech about his bride to be that had admittedly brought her to tears. She blamed the hormones from recently having her quadruplets, but a part of her suspected it was a bit more than that.

Her boyfriend, Chris, had abandoned her at the dinner table to keep doing shots at the bar. Not that unusual from every night he was home with her, honestly.

"Mind if I take a seat?"

Kate looked up to see her attractive boss, Nolan. His broad shoulders filled out his suit nicely, but it was his warm smile that did it for her. She moved her purse from the chair next to her. "Not at all, please."

"I don't mean to sound inappropriate at all, being your boss and all. But you look absolutely stunning tonight, Kate."

Her cheeks heated.

She didn't have the heart to tell him what a nightmare it was trying to find a dress to contain her massive breasts; breastfeeding quadruplets had left her popping out of an M Cup on a good day, and the dress she wore tonight was barely hanging on. Even the nursing bra she wore underneath creaked, as if threatening to tear.

Worst off, she had pumped not long before getting to the wedding, but her breasts felt fuller by the minute.

Yet she never felt embarrassed about any of that when she was with him. Nolan had a calming and understanding presence about him that was genuine and made her feel safe.

The way a man ought to make his woman feel.

"Chris is a very lucky man." The comment sent a heat through Kate, and her breasts throbbed with fullness. Nolan tilted his head to the side. "Where is he, anyway?"

"At the bar, getting shots." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "He doesn't seem to think he's so lucky. Tied down to a woman with four children, after all."

"His children."

Kate shrugged. "He doesn't care."

Nolan shook his head and raised his glass of pinot, gesturing for her to do the same. "Well, cheers to his knockout of a wife that he doesn't deserve."

She couldn't help but snicker. She cheered him with her own wine, and they both took a sip.

"He really doesn't know how damn lucky he is."

Kate looked back at her boss. His large brown eyes were deep, soulful, and a slight rouge glazed his cheeks. No wonder he was being so forward; he was a little intoxicated.

"He's not that lucky, Nolan..."

He shook his head. "I disagree."

Kate snorted and put her hands on her hips. The action jostled her breasts, and for the first time, she noticed her stoic, super polite boss stare down at them. Yet unlike when other men stared, she didn't want him to stop. His pupils dilated, which made her nipples harden with arousal, something she knew he could see through her thin nursing bra.

The longer he stared, the more she noticed how wet she was getting. She remembered just how much milk he had drank from the bottles in his office; would it be too much to want him to grab her breasts and feed right from the source? To want him to fill her with children?

Holy hell, she was horny for her boss!

Blushing, she tried to turn the thoughts by looking away. Still, his gaze was warm and inviting, and it felt awfully nice to be wanted by someone like him.

"How do you figure Chris is lucky?"

Nolan took a gentle sip from his glass. "For starters, his girlfriend has what have to be the most perfect breasts in the world. Massive pillows of comfort with enough milk in her to feed her family and an entire orphanage."

Kate couldn't help but feign offense. "An orphanage?!"

He was right of course; as it was, she could feel the nursing bra she was wearing digging tighter and tighter as she filled up with more and more milk. Blue veins pulsed the surface, begging her to nurse or pump, or else the tight red dress she was in was going to be dripping. Yet she couldn't help but stare back as Nolan continued.

"You donate your excess milk to children in need at hospitals because you adore kids. If the hormones you give off all the time are to be trusted, you want a hell of a lot more of them, too."

Right again. Her cheeks flushed. "I want to have like... eight..."

A playful, almost naughty smile played upon his lips. "Eight kids, or eight more kids?"

Good God, with how lusty his voice was, she didn't know anymore.

"If it were me," Nolan continued, "I wouldn't have made my girlfriend who just gave birth to quadruplets go back to work unless she wanted to. I would have made sure she and our kids had everything they needed while we continued to build our family with plenty of breastfed children. And, as long as she was okay with it, I would make sure she was always pregnant."

Oh fuck. Kate tried crossing her legs to hide the fact that her panties were soaked as she stifled a moan. Her breasts felt so incredibly tight in the bra and dress, it was hard to breathe.

"I can't lie, seeing you pregnant at work was a massive distraction for me, Kate. You're like a fertility goddess tantalizing me, because I know I can't have you anywhere close to how much I want you."

Suddenly, with the sound of two snaps and a slight tearing sound, Kate lurched forward under the weight of her breasts as she let out a moan.

Looking down at them, she realized the clasps on her nursing bra must have broken completely under all the extra weight of her engorged breasts. And when they did, her cleavage came spilling out, and her dress had ripped to make more space for her massive mammaries.

But she didn't care. Her nipples were hard from arousal, and the dark pink meat from her areolas were spilling out from the dress. Everything Nolan had said excited her, and her body was ready.

"I knew you were looking a little full." He smirked, but stared down at her breasts affectionately. "Do you want my jacket to cover up?"

She shook her head and got to her feet, her freed breasts jostling and audibly sloshing around the milk. She took his hand and pulled, leading him away from the table, ignoring the stares she got from others who had noticed her dress mishap.

"Everything okay?"Nolan asked once they had gotten to the parking lot.

Kate nodded, the action finally making one of her nipples pop out. Cherry red and dripping, she knew her boss would stare, and she was right.

"I choose you."

"Hmm?"

"I am so horny, Nolan. For you, for that life that you want. I need you to get me pregnant. I need you to keep getting me pregnant, even if it means twenty or thirty kids." There was no room for embarrassment anymore. She pressed her massive leaking breasts against his chest and looked up at him pleadingly. "Please?"

He took her engorged mammaries in his hands and gently massaged them. Each time his fingers hit a gland, a spurt of milk dampened his shirt until he was near soaked.

"Poor thing, you're so full..." He leaned down and lapped at the small river her breast had made as Kate let out a load moan. "Did you need me to nurse on them while I fuck you in the car?"

----

🐮❤️

[sokoviansimp]

Unspoken Hearts

✒ Pairings: Wanda Maximoff x Reader, Wanda Maximoff x Vision

✒ Summary: Wanda gets married with you as her maid of honor, Tony gets too drunk at the reception and exposes your true feelings

✒ Tags and Warnings: angst and fluff

✒ Author's Note: I just had the urge to write this today.

✒ Word Count: 2125

✒ Read Time: 11 minutes

Masterlist : Socials

The sun cast its warm glow over the tranquil morning, illuminating the Avengers' headquarters. Wanda Maximoff, dressed in a stunning white gown, stood before the mirror, a smile gracing her lips as she admired her reflection. Today was her wedding day, a day she had dreamt of, and it was finally here. The room buzzed with excitement as friends and teammates bustled around, making the final preparations for the ceremony. Among them was you, Wanda's closest friend, and perhaps the one who knew her best.

You had been a constant presence in Wanda's life since your paths had intertwined at Hydra. From the first moment you met, there was an instant connection, a deep understanding that bound your souls together. Through trials and tribulations, you had leaned on each other, forming a bond that could never be broken.

As Wanda's maid of honor, you had the task of ensuring everything went off without a hitch. You moved gracefully around the room, orchestrating the final touches with your usual calm demeanor. But beneath the facade of serenity, your heart was a storm of conflicting emotions.

Wanda turned from the mirror, her eyes alight with joy. "Y/N, can you believe this day is finally here?"

You smiled, your gaze tender. "Who would’ve thought that one day, one of those scared little kids being tested on in the Hydra facility would be getting their happily ever after? Here w-you are, defying all odds, you deserve all the happiness in the world."

Wanda's gaze softened as she reached out and took your hand. "And you, my dear friend, have been there for me through everything. I couldn't imagine this day without you by my side."

Your heart skipped a beat at the sincerity in Wanda's eyes. How you wished you could express the depth of your feelings, but you had always been skilled at hiding your true emotions.

The ceremony was a blur of beauty and emotion straight from a fairy tale, and soon Wanda and Vision were pronounced husband and wife. The reception was a lively affair, laughter, and music filling the air as the Avengers and their friends celebrated the union. You watched from the sidelines, your smile bright, but your heart ached. You had always been content with your friendship with Wanda, but the realization that you could never truly have her stung more fiercely today.

As the night continued; Tony Stark, his inhibitions loosened by alcohol, became increasingly boisterous. You tried to keep a low profile, but Tony's attention landed squarely on you.

"Ah, Y/N! Always the bridesmaid, but never the bride," Tony slurred, a sardonic grin on his face, as he hooked his right arm around your shoulder and squeezed you into his side so that you were forced to listen to his remarks.

Your cheeks flushed a mix of embarrassment and hurt flooding in. Forcing a laugh, hoping to brush off his comment. "Well, someone's gotta support our happily ever afters, Tony."

Tony's gaze sharpened, and he took another swig of his drink. "You know, it's a shame, really. All that unrequited love you've been harboring for Wanda."

“Tony.” Natasha warned after hearing what was being said through earshot. 

Your heart stopped, panic gripping tightly around your neck. How could he know? You had kept your feelings buried so deep, you could argue that sometimes you even forgot they were there.

The party around them seemed to fade into the background as Tony's words hung in the air. Your mind raced, searching for a way to salvage the situation, to hide the truth that had been laid bare.

But Tony wasn't finished. "Oh, come on. The way you've always dropped everything to be there for her, the way your eyes follow her whenever she's in the room and shy away under her glance. It's obvious."

“Tony, Enough!” Natasha said much louder, garnering more attention than she had hoped for. 

Your world shattered. Someone you had trusted, one who promised to be on your side, had just exposed your most guarded secret. You felt exposed, vulnerable, and utterly lost.

Wanda approached after hearing Natasha raise her voice, concern in her eyes as she noticed you in distress. "Hey, what's going on? Is everything ok?"

Tony smirked, his voice dripping with malice. "Just having a little heart-to-heart about our dear Y/N’s feelings for you."

Wanda's gaze turned to you, a mixture of surprise and confusion in her eyes. Your heart raced and your throat constricted with a flood of emotions you couldn't put into words. You could feel the tears start to well in your eyes even if they hadn’t become noticeable yet. The embarrassment was gobbling you whole at this point, the only thing you could think to do was run, you didn’t want to sit there and see Wanda’s reaction. You couldn't. You didn’t want her pity, her anger, her disgust, whatever lay beneath her gorgeous green eyes. You couldn’t wait around for it, so you flung yourself and weaseled out from Tony’s far too tight grasp and booked it. 

“Tony, What the fuck!” Natasha scolded him as Wanda chased after you, still in her wedding dress and heels.

“What? We were all thinking it. Someone had to say it.” He brushed off with no remorse. 

“You’re unbelievable, keep this up and you won’t have any friends left, Stark,” Nat spat back.

Eventually, your running ceased as you fell to your knees in the garden behind the reception and past the courtyard. Your tears became uncontrollable as you sat there sobbing as quietly as you could, hoping you had run far enough away that Wanda wouldn’t find you. The feeling of embarrassment still replaying in your brain on repeat along with thoughts swirling around in your mind that Wanda would hate you for what Tony said. How could she be your friend after that? You hadn’t known life without her for quite some time, and before her, it was all terrible. The only joy you ever found in life came after she lit up your world. How could you go back to that?

It didn’t take long for Wanda to find you, she could read you like a book. As soon as she spotted you sobbing on the ground, she immediately ran up to you and knelt down to wrap you in her arms to try and stop your sobbing, “Y/N, shh, it’s ok,” she whispered in your ear as she gently rocked you.

Once the sobbing slowed you attempted to break your silence, "Wanda, I..." you began, your voice barely above a whisper.

But Wanda held up a hand, stopping you. Her expression was a complex blend of emotions – surprise, curiosity, and something else you couldn't quite decipher.

"Wanda, I never meant for you to find out like this," you managed, your voice trembling.

Wanda's gaze softened, and she dipped her head down closer, reaching out to cup your cheek. "Y/N, you've always been a constant in my life, a rock when everything else was uncertain. I've leaned on you, and I hope you know that you mean the world to me."

Even though the sobbing had slowed, new tears began to well in your eyes, a mix of relief and regret flooding you. "I- I didn't want to complicate things. I cherished our friendship more than anything, and I never wanted to put you in an uncomfortable position."

Wanda smiled a sad but genuine smile. "Love is never something to be regretted, priyatel'. You’ve been my go-to, my best friend, the one I can share my good days and bad days with. Soulmates aren’t just lovers."

Your heart ached with a bittersweet blend of emotions. You had lost your chance, but at least you hadn't lost your friend. Wanda's acceptance meant more to you than you could even express, “I’m sorry,” you said as you dipped your head away from her gaze. 

“Knock it off, priyatel'. None of this is your fault.” Wanda assured you as you both stood from the ground.

“Your dress is ruined and your wedding night, all because of me,” you noted.

“Y/N, you’re worth so much more to me than some stupid dress, and the night is still young.” she said extending her hand for you to grab as she escorted you back to the party. 

“Come on, lets at least get your dress cleaned up,” you said taking her hand.

As the venue emptied and the night drew to a close, you found yourself sitting alone on a quiet balcony, the stars above offering a soothing embrace. Wanda joined you, the sound of her footsteps soft against the night.

"Mind if I join you?" Wanda asked, her voice gentle.

You shook your head, managing a small smile. "Of course not."

The two of you sat in silence for a while, the weight of the unspoken conversation heavy in the air.

"I'm sorry I never realized," Wanda finally said, her voice tinged with regret.

You looked at her, your heart aching for the pain you saw in Wanda's eyes. "Wanda, please don't blame yourself. My feelings were my own to bear, and I never wanted to burden you with them."

Wanda reached out, taking your hand in her own. "But you're not a burden, Y/N. If anything, I regret not seeing the depth of your feelings sooner. You've been a constant in my life, and I should have understood what that meant."

Your heart swelled at her words, as you squeezed her hand. "Wanda, you've given me so much already. I'll always cherish our friendship, no matter what."

Wanda's gaze was intense, her eyes searching yours, "And I'll cherish it too, Y/N. You're a huge part of my story, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

Tears welled in your eyes, as you took a deep breath, trying to steady your emotions. "Wanda, you mean everything to me. Seeing you happy is all that matters."

Wanda reached out, gently wiping away a tear from your cheek. "And your happiness matters to me too. Life is full of unexpected twists, Y/N. Who's to say what lies ahead?"

As you both sat there, hand in hand, bathing in the moonlight, you realized that perhaps love didn't always have to be romantic to be meaningful. The love you held for Wanda, while unrequited, had shaped you into the person you were now, and that was a story worth telling.

And so, in the quiet moments of that night, two hearts found solace in the understanding that friendship, even when mixed with unspoken emotions, could be a powerful and beautiful thing.

The night wore on, the moon casting its silver glow over the Avengers' compound. The celebration had shifted into a quieter phase, with small groups of friends and family gathered around, reminiscing and sharing stories. You found yourself engaged in a conversation with Clint and Nat, both of whom had been part of your journey since the early days of being rescued.

"Hey, Y/N, remember that mission in Budapest?" Clint chuckled, a nostalgic glint in his eye.

You laughed, leaning back in your chair. "How could I forget? That was the mission that involved the cat, right?"

Natasha smirked, her gaze thoughtful. "Ah, yes, the infamous cat incident. You've always had a way of turning the most serious situations into something memorable." 

You grinned, the warmth of their camaraderie washing over you. Despite the turmoil of your own heart, you were grateful for these connections, these moments that had shaped your life.

As the night continued, Your gaze kept drifting toward Wanda, who was surrounded by well-wishers and friends, her laughter ringing through the air. The sight was both heartwarming and heart-wrenching, a reminder of what she now had and what you could never have.

Tony, his previous intoxication now replaced by solemn sobriety, approached you, his gaze apologetic. "Hey, you, about earlier..."

You held up a hand, your expression softening. "Tony, it's okay. I know you were just speaking your mind."

Tony sighed, his shoulders slumping. "I should have been more careful with my words. I didn't mean to hurt you."

You smiled, offering him a reassuring pat on the arm. "Don't worry about it, Tony. Water under the bridge."

“Oh Y/N, you let him off way too easily,” Natasha teased.

As the night drew to a close, the guests slowly began to disperse, their laughter and conversation fading into the background. It was bittersweet, being part of this day, surrounded by happiness and love, yet feeling an ache deep within.

[sweetcarrotsandroses97]

Before You Go | MYG

Pairing: producer! best friend! yoongi x best friend! fem! reader

Summary: Life is taken for granted. People like to kill time not knowing it is time who is killing them. Love is not always a medicine, fate is always cruel. Or in which Yoongi realised his mistakes too late and was sentenced to live with an empty soul. There are times in which you can't always be there. He knew he was too late.

Warnings: ANGST, so much angst guys, medical terms, terminal sickness, argument, fainting, character death, more angst, feelings of guilt and desperation. (Let me know if I missed anything!)

A/N: Soooo, this was originally planned to be a drabble but it escalated so, hehe here it is! Also, I'm still working on the next part of Four Seasons. It'll be a long chapter so please bear with me.

Please let me know what you thought of this in the comments! I'd love to hear your thoughts on this one.

Word Count: 5.1k

"Three months at the most."

Said the doctor. You looked at him. No emotion marked your beautiful features. You blinked. A second passed. Then another and another. The world continued on its normal course while your sentence was already dictated. It almost seemed comical.

"There is, of course, a surgery we could perform on your brain. But I'm afraid it will only allow you to live for a year, year and a half if we are lucky. But it'd be dangerous. Even performing a biopsy is risky in your condition, Miss Lee."

You took a deep breath, your hand clutched your purse as it rested in your lap. The tickling of the clock was driving you insane, you wanted to leave your doctor's office, you wanted to run, to scream, to cry but your body was frozen in place.

A soft smile plastered on your face, the only reaction you could fathom at the moment.

"Thank you, Doctor Kim. I'll... I'll think about it."

He stood up, towering over you as he said with a nod. His hand extended to shake yours.

"Please, do so. Come in a few weeks if you start having headaches."

You nodded, shaking his hand as you also stood up.

"I will. Have a good day, Doctor Kim."

Your hand left his and you turned around to leave. Your feet carrying you out of the room that suddenly felt too small. You only wanted to go back to your flat and curl on your bed.

In a monotonous way you paid for the appointment at the reception of the hospital. Your eyes didn't focus on anything in particular while also noticing everything at the same time.

You walked slowly through the busy streets, the evening sun kissing your skin. The steps you took were automatic, you allowed your legs to take you home while in your mind there was only space for the doctor's words.

"Three months at the most."

That phrase repeated itself over and over again in your head. How you wished to just be home right now however, you decided to not take a cab, you wanted to enjoy the walk. Admire nature as you pass by the park and feel the sun in your skin.

Rarely did you ever pay attention to all those little things. Details that gave colour to your life. Details you were never able to forget. Not until it would happen and you'd leave this place. But you still had some time. Three months was too much.

Or that was what you thought.

~ 73 days later.

"You are hiding something from me!"

Yoongi exclaimed. Your heart clenched at the words coming out of your best friend's mouth. It hurt. It hurt to not tell him. For you to leave him in the dark. For him to think you weren't being honest with him.

You both had been friends for so long you couldn't count the days any longer.

"I'm not! Don't you trust me? We've been friends for so long, Yoongi!"

He sighed, wetting his lips as he tried to form words with his muddy thoughts swirling all over his head. He wasn't stupid. You'd been acting weird as of lately. You often gave him excuses of why you didn't want to leave your flat and when you both would go out he'd notice things.

He'd always notice when something was bothering you, when you were in pain, when too many thoughts were going on through your head. He knew you. Probably better than he knew himself.

All those little suspicions, the strange headaches you'd have only for later to vanish into thin air. The way you looked paler than usual, how you were overly tired.

He had noticed.

Yoongi would be a fool to not acknowledge the signs happening in front of his eyes. Yet his mind couldn't get a conclusion. Instead he was blinded by worry over you. Worry expressed as anger. As desperation. As frustration.

"It is you who is not trusting me, (y/n)! I know something's going on. And I will figure it out whether you like it or not."

"I do trust you."

Your voice sounded so hurt and small with those four words whispered out. Tears clouded your vision but you didn't fight back the moisture in your eyes. You kept looking at him in desperation.

Couldn't he just let it pass?

Apparently not. Yoongi was a stubborn man. If he wanted something, he got it. One way or another. But how would you tell him you were dying? How would you tell your best friend you didn't have much time to live? He had planned on taking you on vacation together after he had signed a good contract with a singer.

He promised to treat you to ice cream next Sunday. You promised that you'd be with him forever. You had been with him forever. In everything he had ever accomplished you had been there. You had been there to dry his tears and smile with him. to celebrate his victories and advise him during hard times.

You had always been there. Always by his side. Always in his life.

Did you have the right to take that away from him?

You were a coward. Yes. You knew that yourself. A part of you didn't want to acknowledge the fact that you were dying. And it hurt so much when Yoongi couldn't see further than his own assumptions. He didn't see you as someone he could trust anymore. He thought you were hiding something from him. Which, technically, you were.

Never in your life had you ever hidden something from him. That was why it hurt him so much when he realised there was something going on in your life that was taking a toll on you and he didn't know.

Yoongi ran a hand through his dark hair, his gaze softened slightly at the sound of your delicate voice. So vulnerable. So hurt. It wasn't like you to talk like that.

But despite his heart clenching at the sight of your tears, his next words cut you deeper than any knife could ever harm you. Not even the doctor's words three months ago had hurt as much as Yoongi's words.

"It doesn't seem like it. But if you don't want to tell me, fine. Take your secrets to your grave, I don't care."

Take your secrets to your grave.

If only he knew you were already standing above it. If only he had known those words had made your heart shatter in such a way you couldn't even fathom to say something, if only he knew there was more that met his sight.

If only he knew.

You didn't say anything. Silent tears were running down your cheeks. This was it. The tread you feared would ever break. He had broken it when you were already so sick, when your days were numbered. He had broken a friendship of years with a single sentence.

You were to blame too. If you hadn't been so scared, this argument would have never happened. This gap wouldn't exist. You are to blame too. You are at fault too. You ruined his trust, played with his emotions, wasted his time. All for what? So that you could keep a secret that would eventually come out?

But now it was too late.

Yoongi didn't want to hear anything else. You opened your mouth to say something. Anything at all. But the words died in your throat, shot down by his disappointed declaration instead.

"I'm leaving. I need some space to think."

Your hands trembled as they hung next to you limply. You were losing him. Yoongi, who was your closest friend, your best friend. The closest thing you ever had of a family. The man who owned your heart in more ways than he thought.

You lost him.

He wasn't going to intrude where he wasn't welcome. He wasn't going to push you. If you weren't going to trust him, there was no point in him staying in a place he no longer felt welcomed.

Yoongi turned around and left, not allowing you to say a single word. He wished you had stopped him. He wished you had walked over to him and grabbed his wrist, pleading him to listen. For you to tell him whatever was happening that made you hide it.

He wanted to know.

He needed to know.

Because his heart screamed a name he didn't want to recognise. His soul yearned for the touch of a woman he was yet to take into account. His mind was busy with thoughts of you. Memories of you. Plans with you.

But he didn't know what it meant. He didn't know what he so deeply desired. Needed. So he left.

Yoongi left you to yourself, your front door shut and you were alone. Alone for good. Left behind. Abandoned. Everyone has a limit and Yoongi has gotten to that limit.

He said he needed space to think. Space to be on his own. Time to think if your friendship was worthy of keeping or if he had to let it go. Despite the pain his soul would suffer and the wrecked heart he'd have to endure.

Sometimes it's better to just let go.

But he didn't know what he was letting go. He didn't know anything. Yoongi left without answers and you stayed with a broken heart.

It's been a week since that argument. There had been no calls or texts from Yoongi. And you weren't going to get in contact first either. He wanted space, you'd give him that. He wanted time, you'd give him what you had left.

You sat in front of your desk, soft rain pattered over the glass. It was calming. Soothing in a way. A pen rested in your hand as words were being scribbled down on a sheet of paper addressed to him. To Yoongi.

You were giving him all the time you had for him to come back. But just in case you ran out of it, you wanted to explain everything to him. He deserved to know. You realised that now. He had deserved to know since the very beginning.

But you were scared. You had been selfish. You chose to live in a fantasy when reality clawed its way through you, tearing you apart in your little safe world that you wish would come true. But wishes never come true. There are no happy endings for liars. There is no mercy to change your fate.

You put the letter on an envelope with Yoongi's name written on the front. It was a letter only for his eyes to read and his mind to comprehend. It was for his mind to keep and his heart to treasure. Only for him. Always for him.

You stood up, the destination of your bedroom in mind as you were feeling tired. It wasn't unusual these days. The naps you took were getting longer and longer. You knew one day you might as well not wake up again.

But fate wasn't that merciful. You took a step, a single step forward only to have a piercing ache in your head that made you hiss. You shut your eyes, trying to get it to pass but it didn't work. If only it only got stronger with each passing second.

Your hands clasped at your scalp, fingers pulling your hair in a desperate need of relief.

The realisation hit you stronger than a train. You needed help. And you needed it fast. You stumbled towards the coffee table, the only goal in your mind was to get your phone and call for help. Something was wrong. Very wrong. You knew it. You felt it. You couldn't ignore it anymore.

With a shaking hang you reached for your phone, you didn't even bother to unlock it as you pressed the emergency call button. It rang and rang and rang, the pain continued to increase, your vision blurred.

You prayed to the skies that the person on the other line would answer. It was your only chance. The last straw to life you clawed at desperately. But it rang again and again and again and you couldn't help thinking that perhaps this was it.

Yoongi came back from the bathroom in his studio, he had been working on some new beats he wanted to try out in the near future. He had been keeping himself busy with work so as to not think about the fight he had with you a week ago.

A part of him wished you'd call him or text him but he knew you too well. If he had asked for space you were going to give him that. This was probably the worst fight you two had ever had throughout your years of friendship

He sat back down in front of the large computer screen, putting on his headphones. Yoongi continued with his work.

It wasn't until out of the corner of his eyes he saw the phone's screen lighten up. He didn't have to look at it to know someone was calling him. He sighed, taking the headphones off and saving the file with his music before he blindly picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

But there was silence. No-one answered back and for a moment, Yoongi thought it was one of those scam calls he always blocked. But before he could hang up, his name reached his ear in your whispered voice.

"Yoongi..."

He knew something was wrong the moment the first syllable reached him. He frowned, leaning forward in his chair as he tried to listen to your voice.

"(y/n)? What's wrong? Are you alright?"

The fight he had with you vanished from his thoughts as they were clouded with worry for you. He was getting scared, never in your life had you called him in such a state that it made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up with nerves.

You whimpered, pressing the phone close to your ear. The pain in your head was getting stronger and stronger that you couldn't speak.

"(y/n)?"

Your best friend's voice came from the other side of the phone, if you hadn't been so blinded by the white pain pressing on your skull you would have noticed the concern in his deep voice.

"(y/n), you are scaring me, what's going on?"

Yoongi stood up from his chair, grabbing his car keys in a hurry.

"H-help me."

When you dialled your emergency contact you didn't remember you had saved Yoongi's number there.

Those two words were enough to have him bolting out of the door. The destination of your place carved in his mind as he left the building.

He kept his phone pressed to his ear as he ran through the studio. His heart was beating so fast in his chest he thought it would leave his body. Adrenaline pumped in his veins. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong.

The fact itself scared him, because that something had to do with you. He felt as if the building was larger than normal. Like in those nightmares as he tried to reach the exit but it got further and further away. This had to be a nightmare, right?

He heard your gasp through the phone unaware of the fact that you had fallen to your knees in your apartment, your other hand clutching your head in a vice grip.

"(y/n/n) talk to me. I need you to say something. Please."

Yoongi reached the door and pulled on the handle with more force than was needed. He stepped outside, inhaling the humid air as the soft drizzle tapped against his form.

"I'm sorry."

He yanked the car door open and got inside, one hand was on the steering wheel while the other still held his phone against the side of his face.

"It's alright, (y/n). I'm on my way, okay? Just hold on, I'll be there in a second."

But you didn't hear those words from him. There was a ringing in your ears that took hold of your senses, the phone slipped from your grasp as you fell to the ground over the soft carpet with a dry sound. You closed your eyes, allowing the pain to take you in its claws of darkness as you surrendered yourself to it.

You had been fighting for so long. A little nap wouldn't harm you. You slipped into unconsciousness with the last thought in your mind being: Yoongi.

The man who you were previously speaking to fell into a frenzy when he heard the sound of the phone colliding with your carpeted floor. The hand on the wheel tightened to the point where his knuckles turned white.

"Darling, answer me please! Say something."

But he could only hear your laboured breaths from the other line. He ended the call and threw his phone on the passenger's seat. A curse leaving his lips. If the circumstances had been different, he would have blushed when the nickname escaped his lips but he couldn't fight it in a moment like this. He couldn't help the fear, the anxiety, the stress, the guilt from controlling his mind.

From making him act the way he was. He pressed on the gas and accelerated into the street. Not caring if he got a ticket for the speed limit, not caring if he drenched the bypassers with his car, not caring for anything else other than getting to you.

Tears of desperation began forming in his dark eyes but he blinked them back. It was not the time to cry. Not now. Not when you needed him. Not when you were in danger. Not when you had called him to help you. Not when his heart yearned to have you, feel you, touch you.

Not now.

Yoongi arrived at your flat in record time. With his heart thumping in his chest and his hands trembling, he stepped out of the car. He didn't even bother to lock it behind him as he was already running up the stairs that led to your apartment.

He used his spare key, one he was immensely grateful you had given him. Not bothering to knock or to take his shoes off he barged into the place like a desperate man. He was a desperate man.

Desperate to see you fine, to find you healthy, for you to be alright.

But his world came crumbling down like a paper plane when he saw you laying over the grey carpet, your phone by your side. You weren't moving.

For a moment he couldn't move. The patterning of the rain against the window drowned him in an ocean of tears he was keeping inside his soul. The quietness of your flat wasn't normal, you were always humming to yourself, playing some music. Doing something.

But as he saw you laying there, limp and cold, Yoongi's heart shattered into a million pieces.

He was brought out of his trance by some miracle, he found himself at your side the next second. His hands wouldn't stop shaking as he pulled your shoulder to lay you flat against the floor.

"(y/n)?"

But you didn't react. It almost seemed as if you were sleeping. The rise and fall from your chest was the only indication to Yoongi that you had only fainted. The circumstances as to why were still unknown to him.

His hand cradled your cheek, trying to get a reaction out of you. Something. Anything at all. But you were long gone in the world of darkness.

In a mere second, he was able to recall your call with him. You sounded in pain. Hurt. There was something that had led to your current state. Something that needed medical attention.

His hands slipped under your body and he stood up; an arm beneath your shoulders and the other supporting the back of your knees. Yoongi walked towards his car in long and hurried steps. His heart was beating wildly in his chest. His stomach churned with nerves.

If you hadn't called him, how much time would have passed until someone eventually found you? He couldn't think of that possibility. He decided to focus on the now, on the fact that he had you in his arms, that he had found you, that you were going to be okay. You had to be. For his sanity.

The soft rain wasn't enough to drench you or him as he made his way towards his parked car. With as much care as he could muster and with some tricky manoeuvre he managed to sit you in the passenger's seat and strap you to it.

Your head lulled to the side and his hand, once more, found home against the side of your face. In any other situation Yoongi would have thought that you were merely sleeping. To a point you were.

Have you always been this beautiful?

He thought to himself before he shook himself out of those thoughts and walked around the car, getting into the driver's seat and speeding off to the hospital.

One hand was on the steering wheel while the other one clasped yours tightly. It was a way to ground himself. To ground his thoughts and remember that you were there, that you'd be fine. That you were with him.

If someone had asked Yoongi before today when he had been the most patient he'd have answered when he had to download one of his large files.

But now, now as he sat in the waiting room of the hospital waiting for news about you was the time when his patience got tested.

How he wished to just enter into the room where the doctor was checking you. He needed to know what was going on. What had happened to you.

He needed to know that everything was going to be fine.

In his desperation, he called one of his friends, Hoseok and explained the situation with a lump forming at the back of his throat.

"She'll be fine, Yoongi. She's a tough girl. I'm sure it's nothing serious but I'll be there in thirty minutes in case you need anything."

That was what Hoseok had said over the line. He had met you on a few occasions, more than a few to be honest. The sweet man came to know that you were a beautiful woman with a kind heart and he respected too much the friendship Yoongi had with you.

"Is anyone here for Lee (y/n)?"

A doctor said with a clipboard in his hands. Yoongi immediately got up. His legs carrying him to the man dressed in a white coat, his eyes were red with unshed tears.

"I brought her here. Please, is she alright?"

The doctor let out a sigh that made alarm bells ring in his head.

"You better come with me."

Yoongi swallowed yet the lump in his throat only got bigger and bigger with each passing second, with each step he took behind the doctor. He stopped in front of a door, presumably your room before he spoke, his tone professional with a hint of sorrow for the broken man in front of him.

"(y/n)'s condition worsened too much in the last week. I'm surprised how quickly it deteriorated. The tumour in her brain got to the amygdala, that was what caused her immense pain resulting in her to lose consciousness."

The tumour in her brain...

The tumour in her brain...

The tumour in her brain...

...what?

"What... what do you mean with "the tumour in her brain"? She... Is she-"

So many thoughts were racing through his mind too quickly he began to feel nauseous. You were sick? All this time you had been sick? Is this what you had been hiding? The doctor sighed yet again as he spoke once more, his voice sombre this time.

"I believe she never told you."

Yoongi shook his head. Too in shock to utter a word. He felt as if someone had stabbed him in the heart. He'd bet that a stab wound would hurt less than this. The sole thought of losing you was heartbreaking enough but he couldn't help but feel like shit when the argument he had on your flat repeated itself in his mind over and over and over again.

Like a broken record player.

In a mocking manner.

With sadistic intentions.

"I'm sorry you had to find out this way, Mr. Min."

A tear rolled down Yoongi's cheek slowly.

"Will she be alright?"

The world might as well end now because the younger man couldn't fathom the idea of existing. Not after the doctor's next words.

"I'm sorry. She was never a candidate for surgery, we detected the tumour too late. She isn't conscious right now but you might as well go in. I don't think she'd be able to hold on for much longer."

He hadn't expected that. He was supposed to be told you hadn't been taking your meals or you were dehydrated to the point in which you fainted. You weren't supposed to be dying. And what was worse was that he had never known.

For how long have you known of your condition?

Why did you hide it from him?

Why didn't you let him support you?

Yoongi entered your room without another word leaving his lip. He nearly collapsed at the sight of you. Pale and weak lying in a hospital bed. An IV tube was attached to your hand. Your eyes were closed.

He sat on the chair next to your bed. His trembling hands reached out for your smaller one. Why wouldn't his hands stop shaking?

"Why didn't you tell me, (y/n)?"

Those whispered words were meant for your ears only but they never reached you. You couldn't react to his stimuli even if you wanted to. your limp hand in his made tears cloud his vision and this time, he didn't hold them back.

"This was it, wasn't it? This was what you were hiding from me, right?"

He wished you'd just move, he wished you would open your eyes and gaze at him like all those times before. He wished he could hear your voice. At least one last time.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry for shouting at you that day. Y-you didn't deserve that."

If he could turn back time he'd make everything different.

"Please, (y/n/n). Please open your eyes."

If only he had been more observant.

"You cannot leave me now. Not now. Not like this."

If only he hadn't been so selfish and distanced himself from you.

"I cannot live without you, (y/n)."

If only he had been there.

"Please."

If only he had been a better friend. The best friend you deserved. The best friend you needed.

"Please don't leave me."

If only he had said the words when you could hear them. If only he hadn't taken your time for granted.

"I beg you, darling. Please don't go. Please."

Hoseok ran through the halls, the number of the room you were at was engraved in his mind for he knew Yoongi was by your side. His hand grabbed the door handle and he twisted it.

What Hoseok saw after opening that door was never going to leave his memories. A sight for his eyes to never forget.

Yoongi was grasping your hand so tightly his knuckles were white. His eyes were red and puffy as tears leaked from his dark orbs, like endless rivers of absolute and utter pain. The sound of his sobs reached Hoseok's ears. A flat line in the background.

"S-she's... she's gone. She's g-gone, Hobi."

Hoseok could only watch in horror. Never in his life had he seen Min Yoongi look so broken. So empty. Never had he cried in such a way. The sight was painful enough that tears made their way to his own eyes.

Yoongi's sobs were like poisonous arrows dripping with the blood of his wounded heart. An irreparable wound. Shattered pieces of his very own soul.

Hoseok took slow steps toward his friend until he was able to rest a hand over his shoulder.

"She didn't suffer, Yoongi. You were by her side, you allowed her to go in peace."

But those words did little to console him. He couldn't stop thinking about the "what if's". He couldn't stop the blame to gnaw at his already broken heart.

"I-I never told her, Hobi. I was a coward and I... I never fucking told her."

Hoseok's heart clenched at the pain laced in his friend's words. His pale hand grabbed yours with more strength, if that was even possible. As if he could prevent you from leaving him when you were already gone.

"I never told her that I loved her!"

Hi Yoongs, I hope you are alright.

How's life going on for you?

If you are reading this letter it probably means I am no longer with you and I'm so sorry that I had to leave you behind but as you may already know, I had no choice.

This was what I had been hiding from you. I am sick. Terminal apparently. There's nothing to be done and I don't want any kind of painful treatment. I decided to let go and enjoy what I had of time.

Please don't blame yourself. I chose not to tell you so that I could experience my life as it was. Normally and by your side.

I may not be there physically but know that I live through your memories. Please don't give up on your dreams because of me and go and do all the things you talked to me about. Fulfil our wishes. Be happy.

I wish you the best.

Thank you for being my best friend. And it is probably the worst way of saying this but I want you to know that I love you. I love you in that way. As in more than a friend. You were the best person that ever crossed paths with me, I didn't want to ruin that friendship.

I now realise that was probably a mistake. I loved you deeply. With all my heart and being. That was why telling you about my condition was more painful than it should have been. Because just as your happiness is my happiness; your pain is also my pain.

I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't want you to say things out of pity. I didn't want that. I wanted to leave in the most normal way I possibly could.

Please know that I love you and I wish you the best in life. I won't be your friend all your life, let alone your lover. I won't live that long. But I will treasure your friendship and love you all my life.

I am part of your life but you are my whole life.

~(y/n).

July/30/2023

~Masterlist

Likes, Comments and Reblogs are really appreciated!!!

**☕Caffeinate me so I can keep on writing! ☕

[solar-eclipses-stuff]

with the cursed ruler Y/N

Character: Qin Shi Huang

To do this, I created the empire of the Harlio De Term, no questions needed, everything here is based on my distorted imagination

Let's say this empire is considered cursed, and the ruler is not a simple man, but a ruthless demon whose head is crowned with spikes from which blood flows

---------------------------

Debt. Power. You do what you're told to do. The world is something that rests on your palms, and something that you will have to cope with. You have a straight back and a cold heart. Innate or nurtured in you? You didn't know for sure.. A country. The empire for which you are responsible, people who believe in you, but is it possible to save these lives when the whole world is against you.

You are the Empress, your cold hands kept warm in the hearts of people who believed in you

For many years you can't join an alliance with other countries, just because of the time when it's a curse over your house.

You were not angry or cruel, but you need to make sacrifices for more

You were able to learn to do without help and support, although you still think that it could contribute to the rapid development of the empire

Everyone considers it cursed because of the thorn valley that protects its walls. They think there is nothing here but tears and grief

Except for one emperor Qin Shi Huang, he did not have a special vision of the world (as you thought at the time), but for some reason he wanted to come to conclude a contract

You didn't mind because guests haven't been taken to your region for a long time

You watched a carriage drive into your city and everything was quite official

In the reception hall there was a large table with various treats, starting with the spotted duck and ending with desserts

You were sitting across the table, and the above-mentioned ruler was opposite you

"Hao! So you are the ruler of the Thorn Valley" You knew that the people call your homeland that way, so the answer did not take long to wait "Hello, thorn valley is not the correct name" You said "Empire Harlio De Term is the right name" Your voice was not loud but in the ears of the listeners it was louder than anything that could make a sound

"Amazing! You are so devoted to your country, am I right? "you are thinking, "The board is a duty. Duty to the people"

Then everything went without incident, you signed a pact on the commonwealth

Emperor Qin Shi Huang often visited you, watched everything he could and even tried to challenge you to a fight

Yes, perhaps they were right, the symbol of your empire was a thicket with sharp thorns

You finally saw something outside the walls and it was great, the smell, the wind and even the plant were as if different

Soon your relationship turned into something more interesting

Light and gentle kisses, flirting and much more (😏)

You didn't have an example, yes, of course you saw your mother and father, but they never showed feelings for each other

It seemed to you that I love him enough for two, but you knew that two people needed to work for a relationship and you started giving him gifts: bracelets made of gold with amethysts, rings, etc.

He also gave gifts of extraordinary beauty, and those hot nights that you spent together

All this was something new for you and this love made you melt, your hands became warm, and rosy cheeks appeared on your face

You have blossomed and your country is with you instead

And one day he called you to the garden, it was incredibly beautiful there, you liked every flower that you saw so

And at the end you saw him, he was even more beautiful than he was, you couldn't hide the excitement in your soul

You have been by his side all this time and now he is kneeling in front of you and asking you to become him forever

Then everything depended only on you whether you say "Yes" Or "No"

Your soul wanted it with all your heart and you agreed. Just one word and he was already in your arms, then he gave you the hottest and most loving kiss in the world, he was gentle and passionate at the same time

Then you were able to know the power of the feeling that you called love

[ninadove]

Nina reads Dracula 🦇

October 1st

Happy spooky season (for real this time)! 🎃

Let’s stab some vampires!

4 a. m.—Just as we were about to leave the house, an urgent message was brought to me from Renfield to know if I would see him at once, as he had something of the utmost importance to say to me.

It’s the Mina Effect. No one can resist her Cool Secretarial Skills and Knowledge of the Train Schedule.

"Take me with you, friend John," said the Professor. "His case in your diary interest me much, and it had bearing, too, now and again on our case. I should much like to see him, and especial when his mind is disturbed."

"May I come also?" asked Lord Godalming.

"Me too?" said Quincey Morris. "May I come?" said Harker. I nodded, and we all went down the passage together.

GUYS this is not a picnic

"I appeal to your friends," he said, "they will, perhaps, not mind sitting in judgment on my case. By the way, you have not introduced me."

Renfield I love you

"Lord Godalming, I had the honour of seconding your father at the Windham; I grieve to know, by your holding the title, that he is no more. He was a man loved and honoured by all who knew him; and in his youth was, I have heard, the inventor of a burnt rum punch, much patronised on Derby night. Mr. Morris, you should be proud of your great state. Its reception into the Union was a precedent which may have far-reaching effects hereafter, when the Pole and the Tropics may hold alliance to the Stars and Stripes. The power of Treaty may yet prove a vast engine of enlargement, when the Monroe doctrine takes its true place as a political fable. What shall any man say of his pleasure at meeting Van Helsing? Sir, I make no apology for dropping all forms of conventional prefix. When an individual has revolutionised therapeutics by his discovery of the continuous evolution of brain-matter, conventional forms are unfitting, since they would seem to limit him to one of a class. You, gentlemen, who by nationality, by heredity, or by the possession of natural gifts, are fitted to hold your respective places in the moving world, I take to witness that I am as sane as at least the majority of men who are in full possession of their liberties. And I am sure that you, Dr. Seward, humanitarian and medico-jurist as well as scientist, will deem it a moral duty to deal with me as one to be considered as under exceptional circumstances." He made this last appeal with a courtly air of conviction which was not without its own charm.

I am, indeed, charmed

Van Helsing was gazing at him with a look of utmost intensity, his bushy eyebrows almost meeting with the fixed concentration of his look. He said to Renfield in a tone which did not surprise me at the time, but only when I thought of it afterwards—for it was as of one addressing an equal:—

YES!!!!! VICTORY!!!!!

"Let me entreat you, Dr. Seward, oh, let me implore you, to let me out of this house at once. Send me away how you will and where you will; send keepers with me with whips and chains; let them take me in a strait-waistcoat, manacled and leg-ironed, even to a gaol; but let me go out of this. You don't know what you do by keeping me here. I am speaking from the depths of my heart—of my very soul. You don't know whom you wrong, or how; and I may not tell. Woe is me! I may not tell. By all you hold sacred—by all you hold dear—by your love that is lost—by your hope that lives—for the sake of the Almighty, take me out of this and save my soul from guilt! Can't you hear me, man? Can't you understand? Will you never learn? Don't you know that I am sane and earnest now; that I am no lunatic in a mad fit, but a sane man fighting for his soul? Oh, hear me! hear me! Let me go! let me go! let me go!"

OH MY GOD YES he truly is Van Helsing’s equal!!! Not only does he suffer from I Cannot Tell You Shit Syndrome, he also uses what I will now officially refer to as the Dracula Loop™ to evoke his own imprisonment!!!

"You will, I trust, Dr. Seward, do me the justice to bear in mind, later on, that I did what I could to convince you to-night."

Well that sounds ominous. Hopefully no one immediately gets mentioned in a way that strongly parallels a character we’ve just lost in atrocious circumstances —

I went with the party to the search with an easy mind, for I think I never saw Mina so absolutely strong and well.

[Demonic screeches]

"You know this place, Jonathan. You have copied maps of it, and you know it at least more than we do. Which is the way to the chapel?" I had an idea of its direction, though on my former visit I had not been able to get admission to it; so I led the way, and after a few wrong turnings found myself opposite a low, arched oaken door, ribbed with iron bands. "This is the spot," said the Professor as he turned his lamp on a small map of the house, copied from the file of my original correspondence regarding the purchase.

Now is not the time to be facetious Abraham

The whole place was becoming alive with rats.

For a moment or two we stood appalled, all save Lord Godalming, who was seemingly prepared for such an emergency. Rushing over to the great iron-bound oaken door, which Dr. Seward had described from the outside, and which I had seen myself, he turned the key in the lock, drew the huge bolts, and swung the door open. Then, taking his little silver whistle from his pocket, he blew a low, shrill call. It was answered from behind Dr. Seward's house by the yelping of dogs, and after about a minute three terriers came dashing round the corner of the house.

As someone who grew up with a Yorkshire Terrier, this makes me indescribably happy. Good boys 🖤🩶🧡💛

The house was silent when we got back, save for some poor creature who was screaming away in one of the distant wards, and a low, moaning sound from Renfield's room. The poor wretch was doubtless torturing himself, after the manner of the insane, with needless thoughts of pain.

I came tiptoe into our own room, and found Mina asleep, breathing so softly that I had to put my ear down to hear it. She looks paler than usual.

I have no words.

"Don't you know me?" I asked. His answer was not reassuring: "I know you well enough; you are the old fool Van Helsing. I wish you would take yourself and your idiotic brain theories somewhere else. Damn all thick-headed Dutchmen!"

Renfield on the other hand has many words.

"Mrs. Harker is better out of it. Things are quite bad enough for us, all men of the world, and who have been in many tight places in our time; but it is no place for a woman, and if she had remained in touch with the affair, it would in time infallibly have wrecked her."

[Slams head on desk]

If then the Count meant to scatter these ghastly refuges of his over London, these places were chosen as the first of delivery, so that later he might distribute more fully. The systematic manner in which this was done made me think that he could not mean to confine himself to two sides of London. He was now fixed on the far east of the northern shore, on the east of the southern shore, and on the south. The north and west were surely never meant to be left out of his diabolical scheme—let alone the City itself and the very heart of fashionable London in the south-west and west.

JONATHAN HOW CAN YOU BE SO SMART YET SO DUMB

"To hell with you and your souls!" he shouted. "Why do you plague me about souls? Haven't I got enough to worry, and pain, and distract me already, without thinking of souls!"

🥺

Will not mention "drinking."

Fears the thought of being burdened with the "soul" of anything.

Has no dread of wanting "life" in the future.

Despises the meaner forms of life altogether, though he dreads being haunted by their souls.

Logically all these things point one way! he has assurance of some kind that he will acquire some higher life. He dreads the consequence—the burden of a soul. Then it is a human life he looks to!

And the assurance—?

Merciful God! the Count has been to him, and there is some new scheme of terror afoot!

AN UNEXPECTED BREAKTHROUGH

[Renfield] had got a scrap of paper and was folding it into a note-book.

Oh gods are we going to hear from Renfield himself??? Please say yes

The purchaser is a foreign nobleman, Count de Ville,

Count de Ville

Outside of the obvious pun I am being French-baited again… This novel truly is a Professor Layton game.

< Prev 🦇 Next >

[silverhallow]

"I love you, " ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?

pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x Sophie Beckett summary: after a drunken night and confession, Benedict has to decide if the stakes are high enough to risk everything.

warnings: Benedict is a moron, but whatever is new... light angst but with a happy ending word count: 1835

Authors note: modern AU, written for anon for the prompt "my heart is yours"

Everything had changed and Benedict hated it.

One stupid night, one foolish move and he’d lost the thing that he valued most in the world.

He and Sophie had been best friends for years, they’d met during reception class and been friends since they were 4 years old and now here they are nearly 16 years later at Cambridge University and for the first time since they’d met…

She wasn’t talking to him.

He’d broken her heart and she’d closed herself off, she’d refused to talk to him, she refused him entry to her college dorm, her room mate Lily refused to let her in, even Kate, his brother’s girlfriend had taken her side.

It had all occurred because of a misunderstanding, a few drinks at Art Social he’d taken her to and somehow they’d ended up kissing outside, no one had seen and it had been magical and Benedict had freaked out when Sophie had told him that she’d been waiting for years for him to do that.

“But you’re my best friend! I can’t lose you” he’d replied to her confession that she loved him.

“Who is to say you will lose me…?” Sophie has asked, her heart clearly breaking

“Because it never works… it never…” he’d replied despite his own heart screaming at him to take the chance, to fight for her. The kiss had woken something in him that he was scared of, something he’d never felt before but the risk, the risk of it not working was not something he was willing to do.

Sophie had left him standing there and she’d not spoken to him since and Benedict was miserable.

He felt lost. He felt like he was mourning something and that there was a piece of his heart and soul missing. He felt worse than he did after his grandmother and his father had died. Not having Sophie in his life had left a hole that he had no idea how to fill.

He’d tried to talk to her, he’d tried to catch her between classes but she continued to evade him, ignoring him, pretending she didn’t hear him.

He’d tried to send flowers, only for them to turn up at his door having been refused and turned away. 

The only contact he’d had was a message via Kate to leave her alone.

He’d thought Kate would be on his side but she was furious with him, and much to his dismay Anthony had taken Sophie’s side as well.

“Just friends don’t look at each other the way you two look at each other” Anthony had said to him “it’s been obvious to everyone for years that you two were meant for one another, it’s why nothing ever works with anyone else because they’re not Sophie… has that ever crossed your mind…” Anthony had snapped.

Benedict just rolled his eyes, he didn’t understand, he and Kate had hated one another before their sexual tension got too much and they realised there was a fine line between hate and love.

But after nearly a month of radio silence from Sophie, Benedict was sure he’d lost his best friend, the woman he loved because he was far too much of a coward to let her have his heart, to open himself up to the risk.

The risk which still seemed to outway the reward.

But it had cost him the best thing that he’d ever had.

It wasn’t until an impromptu visit from his mother, made him see sense.

Violet Bridgerton had turned up at his flat and the moment he’d let her in, she’d slapped the back of his head causing him to whine.

“What was that for?!”

“Because you’re an idiot” she’d said firmly

“But…”

“No buts, Benedict… Anthony told me what happened and how you’ve been moping since because Sophie is refusing to talk to you because you’ve broken her heart” Violet said

“Mum, you don’t get it! No one gets it…” Benedict said getting on the defensive

“You really are an idiot if you think out of all people that I do not get it…” Violet said “i’d known your father since I was 10 years old, we were friends. I didn’t want to risk what we had but by letting him in, by taking a chance with your father… i got a life and a love far greater than I’d ever thought possible, that i’ve ever dreamed of… and even with the hurt and pain of losing him… loving him, having him love me… even for the short period we got… was the greatest gift i’d ever get” Violet said to her son.

“But…”

“Benedict, only you can decide if you are prepared to take that risk, to take the chance… you are your father’s son, more so than Anthony, and not just in looks, you’re heart and soul are so much like your father and grandmother, your gentle nature, your artistic tendencies and romantic heart comes from them, if you feel even a fraction of what I think you feel for Sophie then you are a fool to let her leave your life… not to take the chance” Violet said

“But if it doesn’t work…”

“You won’t know if you won’t try… do you want to lose Sophie now… not take a chance on a love that could last you a lifetime, either of your lifetimes… to be so afraid that you’re going to lose her on a possibility to then lose her on a certainty… then only you can make that decision but you know I believe in Soulmates, how there is another person that was created just for you… and from the day you met Sophie i’d been so sure she was yours… but if you do not wish to take the chance… then that is your decision… but you have to live with the consequences and i am afraid this is clearly the consequences… Sophie does not let people in easily. She is a kind soul, she is a pure hearted girl but after everything she went through, if she’s told you that she loves you and you shunned that… then you can’t expect to be still let in” Violet explained

Benedict just stared at his mother, processing her words, he’d liked Sophie for years, he’d pushed down his feelings for her out of fear, he never wanted Sophie not to be in his life… but now…

Now he’d experienced that… he didn’t want it to continue.

His mother’s words had settled in his soul and his heart knew what his mind had been fighting for the last month. Sophie was his world, if he wasn’t prepared to take that risk, then he deserved to be miserable and alone.

He’d promised he’d never hurt her, that he’d never abandon her the way her father had, he’d never hurt her the way Araminta had… and he’d done both.

He was a coward. “I got to go” he replied and forgetting this was his flat, that his mother had come to see him, he grabbed a coat and ran from the room.

He had to talk to Sophie before it was too late.

He knew she’d be finishing Gymanstic’s practise now and if he was quick he’d be able to get into the changing rooms and talk to her.

Violet smirked at herself, knowing her work was done. Anthony, Henry, Roger, Lily and Kate had all called her to explain what had happened and she’d given her son time to sort his head out himself before getting involved but after a month… she knew it was time to intervene before he lost her forever.

He ran as fast as his legs could carry him, he got there as some of the girls came out and he saw Lily “LILY!? Is she still there?” he yelled at Sophie's roommate and his cousin’s girlfriend.

“Yeah, she was showering as our’s is still broken and I'm off to meet Roger and shower at his,  but she won’t talk to you…”

“I don’t need her to talk i just need her to listen, i’ve been an arse and need to sort it out…” he said and he ran into the changing rooms, Sophie was alone, her back was too him as she slipped her shirt back on over her head.

“Sophie” he gasped, out of breath and heaving.

Sophie let out a squeak and squeal, grateful she was dressed, recognising the voice instantly she jumped and turned around “what the fuck are you doing here, go away Ben, I told you… I don’t want to talk to you anymore… I can’t”

“Sophie… i don’t need you to talk, I just need you to listen… I’m sorry to barge in here but this was the only place I knew i’d be able to talk to you where you can’t avoid me…”

Sophie turned her head “Ben I can’t do this”

“You were right, I was a coward, the truth is I like you. I like you a lot. I have done, for years. I like you more than i’ve ever liked anyone in my life and to be honest with you, that fucking terrfies me because I didn’t want to screw up what we had, whatever it was… but i’ve fallen pretty damn ard for you Sophie and i think i needed this to realise how shit my life is without you in it… to realise that the risk is worth the reward. I just have to hope that whatever happens we don’t ruin whatever we had before all this happened… you’re my favourite person in the world Sophie. You’ve always been my favourite person and if you want to take that risk with me… I am prepared to take that risk with you. I am all in Soph....

Because the truth is… i love you. I’ve loved you for years, i’m pretty sure i’ve loved you fro the day I met you. My heart is yours. It’s always been yours Soph…” he said, standing there, the words and his confession just spewing from his lips as Sophie turned back to face him.

Her green eyes wide with shock and did he imagine it… a little piece of hope? Her heart was hammering in her chest “are… are you serious?”

“More serious than i’ve been about anything, i’m sorry it took me so long to work it out”

Sophie knew they had a lot more to talk about, she had a million questions but right now, she wasn’t thinking, she took off at a run and threw herself into his arms and kissed him.

It was what she’d been waiting to hear, she’d hoped he loved her, that he wanted to be with her but her hope had been fading over the last month but now…

She knew it wasn’t going to be plain sailing, they had somethings to work out but right now… it was the start, the start of what would be a happily ever after.

[happyinjection]

♠️♥️High Card Short Story 7 ~Aftermath of The Jack of Hearts Retrieval Mission~ “Post-Mission with The President’s Secretary” (3/3)♦️♣️

The air is tense inside the reception room at Pinochle’s headquarters. Leo confronts Owen, the president’s secretary... What do these two have on their minds?

Original: https://twitter.com/highcard_pj/status/1565640692042731520

Author: https://twitter.com/poipheno

Artist: https://twitter.com/ebimoji3

In the aftermath of The Jack of Hearts retrieval mission, I stopped by the headquarters right away. In other words, it was the company’s skyscraper building.

Our helicopter landed at the helipad on the roof. Since the others had already been dropped off elsewhere, there were just Bernard, who had been operating the vehicle all the way here, and me.

“Well then, Leo-sama. I will excuse myself from here on.”

“Yeah, thank you for your hard work. Take a good rest.”

Bernard bowed deeply. He remained in that position to see me off.

Around me, the night view looked like a jewels scattered on a black cloth. Gazing upon the landscapes of Fourland from this rooftop is something I don’t usually mind doing.

That being said, my sour mood right now signified otherwise.

Pinochle was a leading company which represented the Fourland Kingdom. As such, even though the company’s core business is manufacturing classic cars, it was not the kind of company which had become eroded by the passage of time and accumulated dust. The building was constructed on advanced principles, while maintaining its class and style. It was a feat no other companies could imitate, a true modern classic design.

I walked down the corridor, and entered the reception room using a key card. After waiting on the sofa for a while, I heard a knock on the door. I gave it no answer.

“Welcome back, Leo-sama.”

The man, who was full of pretenses, bowed in an ostentatious manner. His long hair completely covered his nape, but rather than giving the impression of feeling hot, the atmosphere around him was cold. His suit seemed to be light gray-ish, as if the blue had almost faded. As a result, his very presence was thin. He raised his effeminate face.

“I don’t recall asking for you.”

.....Just having him in my sight made me want to throw up.

“Unfortunately, Theodore-san is very busy, so I would be the one listening to you.”

—Owen Alldays. The secretary of my father, the president of Pinochle.

“.....Then there’s no need.”

As I said that, I stood up from my seat.

At the same time Owen took a step forward, stopping me.

“As branch office manager..... no, as the leader of High Card, I believe it is your duty to submit a report?”

I wished I could kick this guy down and leave as soon as possible, but I silently sat down on the sofa again.

“So... did you enjoy your vacation?”

Owen sat with his legs crossed on the sofa as he offered me a small smile, looking down at me. There’s no way he was not hiding a mocking sneer under that expression.

I rested my elbows on my knees and leaned forward, shooting him a glare.

“Unlike you, an employee who spends his time comfortably in an air-conditioned room, training the members is also within my responsibility.”

Following that, Owen smiled with his brows furrowed.

“The reason I’m working as his secretary, is because Theodore-sama asks me to be. Since then I’ve been giving my body and soul to him in return. Please do not undermine my job.”

“...........”

This shabby bastard could only say things that send me seething.

However, there is no denying that this man’s loyalty to the president was undisputed. Should the president order him to die, he would gladly die, such is the kind of man he was. With that in mind, the president placed great importance on this man. That’s why I could never forgive him.

“....The Jack of Hearts ‘Sky Dancer’ possesses a strength worthy of a face card, it is stronger than I expected. Not only he is good in combat, he is also adept in escaping.”

“Sounds troublesome, doesn’t it. In any case, the president issued an order to retrieve it, so.....”

“I’ve devised a strategy. Next time we will not miss.”

This was not merely a bluff. Even without having to kill, next time we would be able to outmatch him for sure.

“And what kind of strategy would that be?”

“I have no obligation to give you a report. Do not interfere with High Card’s internal business.”

I saw something changing in the way Owen smiled. Although it is generally the same smile, he changes the details so often, that is how I knew that it was fake.

The only thing that this man had on his mind was the president and nobody else. Words such as worship or delusion were not enough to describe it. Aside from the president, he might not consider anyone as a human being. No, there’s no other logical explanation. Otherwise he would not be doing his job.

“Leo-sama....”

Not unlike a woman’s, he threw me an affectionate gaze.

“Having to shoulder such a heavy burden with such a young body, I’m sure that you must be exhausted. How about taking some time off.”

At my temple, I felt my veins pulsed twice. I grabbed my bag and got on my feet.

“Owen. I’ve got a great deal of things I want to spit to your face, but just remember this.”

This time, it was my turn to look down to him.

“Do not babysit me. Do not order me around. Do not ever think that we are equals.”

“......”

“Unlike anyone else out there, I am a Pinochle. I have no need for the attention from someone cheap like you.”

Owen had an undisturbed look in his eyes as he returned my stare. I beelined for the door and put my hand on the doorknob.

“Besides—”

I turned around. I felt as if our gazes collided in the middle.

“It’s not ‘Theodore-sama’. It’s ‘the president’.”

Right after making that remark, I left the reception room.

∎∎

He finally left. As I[*] leaned back on the sofa, I let out a sigh without allowing for a shift in my expression.

“Dealing with dependent children is exhausting, alright.”

♠️♥️♦️♣️

TL notes: I’m in no way a professional translator so if you find any mistakes, please do not hesitate to inform me right away. Short Story 7 is meant to be a side story to Drama CD vol 2 (TLDR High Card went on a mission together to retrieve a card and shenanigans happened). Leo is super cool in this SS, but I’m sensing a lot of son VS daddy’s new girlfriend vibes lol [*] The last two paragraphs are narrated from Owen’s POV. Did you notice that they used a different line breaker too? As usual, let’s enjoy High Card together~

[top-tier-tickles]

Dark Deception Tickle AU

Finally chapter 6! I hope you all enjoy!

______________________________________

Chapter 6: Part 1

"We're halfway there, love. Don't disappoint me now." Bierce's tone was different this time. It was like she couldn't believe he had made it this far.

The sixth portal was open, the lock replaced with an image of someone that looked like they had a square head? With a plus sign on the front. Doug stepped through, walking up to a barred gate in the middle of the path.

"We need to get that soul shard to get the gate open. Naturally, it's behind those bars." Bierce said, "Well, if we can't get to the shard, we'll make it come to us. Go to the ring altar."

Doug activated the altar, opening up his tablet. "I just need to make a few changes to your brain. Don't worry, if you starting feeling dizzy, or you start to smell colors, just take a deep breath. If it doesn't stop, then quit whining and get used to it! I'm movie star, not a brain surgeon!" She scolded.

Doug rolled his eyes, the new power icon was a magnet, "Telekinesis". He had gotten used to the tingling sensation by now, it only made him shiver. Maybe that means he won't get it as bad if he got caught.

He returned to the gate, activating the ability, a wave of energy blasted some way out before retreating back to Doug, taking the ring piece with it.

That will certainly come in handy.

The gate was gone, opening up the rest of the way. Doug entered the second portal, and was transported to a small, walled-off parking lot.

The lot was full of ambulances, all parked in front of an entrance to a building that Doug guessed was a hospital, the hot-pink neon sign on top gave that away. Strange, in all the hospitals Doug had seen, none of them ever had a sign like that.

"A hospital? Well, everyone has to face their demons at some point. Maybe thus place could help you." Bierce said.

Great. Doug never liked hospitals.

The automatic doors opened, welcoming Doug's arrival, and he froze where he stood upon looking into the lobby.

'Oh. My. God.' He thought.

The lobby was dark, bright, neon LEDs being the only light. Loud music blasted through the room. Groups of chairs surrounded the area. A giant statue of a woman holding a heart was in the center. Two women stood on the platform, dancing in a rather- provocative manner.

Their outfits made them look like...nurses? Their tight-fitting dresses had a pink-and-red color scheme, the neck cut low, and pink fluff stitched onto it. But their heads were all covered with medical bags, adorned with a heart shape on the front, little red caps atop their heads.

What kind of place is this? It was much less of a hospital, and more like some seedy strip club.

Some nurses stood by the chairs, staring straight ahead. Said chairs were occupied by...Gold Watchers?! Oh, great!

Doug walked up to one of them, gently knocking on their head, as if he was knocking on a door, before flipping them off and walking away. He thought he heard some quiet laughter from behind him, but he couldn't tell if they were laughing at him, or their insulted ally.

Doug continued walking towards a desk at the end of the room, a sign read "Reception" above it. He could hear a nurse speaking to someone on the phone as he approached.

"Mmm-hmm. No problem. Bierce? Oh, I see. How troublesome. Yep, we can handle that!" Her voice was peppy, with a New York accent, "Absolutely! Leave it to us Reaper Nurses! You don't gotta worry about a thing!"

Doug stood at the desk, staying silent as she spoke. It seemed she noticed his presence, but he couldn't tell, as her face was covered.

"Wel, speak of the devil! Looks like he just walked in. Ohh, and he's a looker too! I'll get back to ya shortly, mkay? Buh-bye, now!" She leaned forward and hung up the phone.

Sitting back, she finally spoke to Doug, "Greetings and welcome to this place of healing and mercy! Mind if I take a closer look at you?" She asked.

She looked him up and down, Doug staying silent the whole time.

"Oh my, you poor thing. I see that life has not been kind to you. You still carry around so much of that pain. It must weigh terribly on you"

'You can say that again' Doug thought.

"And now you're serving the deal-breaker. How curious. Are you not aware that she only offers lies? Lord Malak can give you so much more, all you have to do is return what you have taken from him." The Reaper Nurse said, "But we'll get to that later. You did the right thing coming to see us."

Doug raised an eyebrow.

"You don't need to suffer anymore. We can heal your soul. We can offer you the beauty that you desire. All you have to do is be ready and willing to accept out mercy. Are you ready to become one of our new patients?" She suddenly giggled, "What am I saying? Of course you do! How silly of me!"

The nurse hopped off of her chair, gliding over to the edge of the counter, next to the entrance of a corridor.

"First things first, though. We need to check your vitals, the deal-breaker may have infected your body and mind, as well as your soul. After all, Lord Malak's infinite power was never meant for mere mortals. You've been using them quite recklessly. There may be dire consequences for your health. Please, follow me."

The Reaper Nurse turned, and began going through the hall, Doug following behind.

"I don't know what she's talking about. But she's got a bag on her head. That's a bit of a red flag, isn't it?" Bierce said.

The nurse practically floated through the hall, even turning back to face Doug, going backwards. Through another set of doors, the two of them passed through a hall with large windows, other nurses slowly dancing in front of hospital beds.

"See anything you like?" The nurse asked. No, no he didn't.

"That's disturbing. Though I do like their shoes." Bierce said. The comment made Doug glance a the nurse's shoes, or rather skates. Hot pink roller skates. Damn, that meant they were probably fast.

The nurse suddenly resumed her skating, leading him throught the doors before slowing to a stop.

"Right in here." She gestured to another door. Doug walking through, the Reaper Nurse following behind. There was a rather large scale in the middle of the room, other than that, it was completely empty. The nurse picked up a clipboard hanging from the wall, and rolled next to the scale.

"Let's check your weight first, shall we? Once you are ready to accept our mercy, please step up onto the scale." She clicked a pen, waiting patiently for Doug to comply.

"Are you sure you want to stand on it?" Bierce asked.

Doug eyed the scale, his suspicion growing. Why was he not dead yet? Were they toying with him? Or were they actually going to spare him if he didn't struggle? Against hus better judgement, he stepped up. And heard a click.

Doug quickly jumped off as a flame spit out from the ceiling. What the hell?! He stood there with his mouth agape, completely silent.

"What? Is something wrong? Oho, my apologies! Must be a malfunction. Don't worry, I'll put in a work order to get that fixed." She laughed.

"Though, at the very least I need to examine your torso. Please, hold still."

She slowly approached Doug, holding her hands out, and because of that, she gave him a clear view of her gloves.

Pink, fuzzy feather pads were stitched onto the palm and fingers of her glove.

Placing her hands right on the spot in between his armpits and the top set of his ribs, sliding her hands down his sides, seemingly looking for any abnormalities.

Doug flinched, trying to step back, only to press himself into the wall, cornered by the nurse.

"Sir, I have to ask ya to please hold still." She said, moving her hands to his stomach, squishing it. Doug slapped his hands over his mouth as his eyes widened.

"Is something wrong?"

Doug somehow found the strength to speak without cackling, "T-Tihihihihicklish!", was all he could muster though.

"Ohh! I see! You're ticklish. Well, we'll make sure to be extra careful with ya then!" The nurse rolled back and out the door, beckoning Doug to follow.

He did, only making it a few feet down the hall before she stopped again.

"Okay! Next up, we need to do some lab work." She opened the next door to a circular room, tiny little holes lined the walls, with a big red circle in the center. "I just need to take a small blood sample. You're not afraid of needles are ya?"

Doug didn't answer.

"Okay, great. Stat right there and don't move. Wait until on timer reaches zero. I'll be right outside the door~!" She left.

The timer began to beep down, 15 seconds.

"I don't know of its just me, I don't think you'd want to still be in this room when that timer reached zero. Find a way out of there!" Bierce commanded.

Doug immediately ran to the door, only to find it was locked from the outside. Furiously picking the lock as the timer ticked down its last seconds, the door burst open, freeing the lawyer.

As soon as the door shut behind him, hundreds of thin needles jutted out from the holes in the walls, thier points all stabbing into where Doug would have been.

"Didn't I say not to move?" The nurse asked, and annoyed tone in her voice, "So you are afraid of needles. Noted!"

She paused, putting her hands on her hips, "Let me remind you that we do not have time to play games with out patients. Please take this more seriously if you wish to be saved."

The Reaper Nurse started rolling away, Doug following behind. There further he was from that medical iron maiden, the better.

They passed through the hall more, stopping in front of another door.

"How about a chest x-ray? You scared of those too?" The nurse asked with a condescending tone in her voice. She lead Doug through the door, a large MRI machine sat in it.

"Let's try this again, stay right there, and this time don't move! It's your last chance...Wait until the timer reaches zero. Ill be right outside!"

She left, and immediately after, a speed barrier was set right in front of the door. Doug acted quickly, activating speed boost and busting down the barrier, he picked the lock fast and raced further down the hall.

"Hey! Get back here! I still have more tests to run!" The nurse sped towards him, and he picked the lock on the double door to his escape.

"Sir, this is unacceptable! We will not accept unruly patients!"

Doug broke through right in time, slamming the door straight into her covered face.

"Oh, what a shame. It seems you've been infected by that woman after all. You do not desire salvation! You're just another vile man after all, chaotic and infectious, like a virus! Very well, we know how to deal with viruses. If eradication is your desire, we shall grant it. It might be comforting to tell you that your death would be quick and painless, but that would be a lie. After all, we can get carried away while performing our duties! But one things for sure though....You'll never see it comin'!" Her body seemed to dissipate away as she finished talking.

"They can cloak? That's going to be troublesome..." Bierce said, "So Malak's minions aren't very fond of you. Shocking, I know..."

Doug continued down the hall, entering an elevator. The tablet said the next floor down was where the soul shards were, so that's where he would go. As soon as the elevator stopped, a voice came over the intercom.

"Ladies! The hospital is now on complete lockdown! It seems we have an unruly patient on the loose that must be dealt with! Lethal mercy is authorized!"

______________________________________

END OF CHAPTER 6: PART 1

Chp. 1-1, Chp. 1-2, Chp. 2-1, Chp. 2-2, Chp. 2-3, Chp. 2-4, Chp. 3-1, Chp. 3-2, Chp. 3-3, Chp. 4-1, Chp. 4-2, Chp. 5-1, Chp. 5-2, Chp. 5-3, Chp. 6-1, Chp. 6-2, Chp.6-3,

[originaltyphoonkryptonite]

Chapter 17: Unexpected Guests

Zella pov

Alfred went with the guests to make sure that everything was set up while the wedding photos were taken. Leslie offered to take Little Conner in case Oliver wanted to pose with Dinah. He accepted and she just stood to the side with Bruce and Gus until it was their turn. I should have known that Jason, Roy, and Wally were up to something. The first photo was suppose to be of me and Dick but it would seem those troublemakers had other ideas. They pushed Dick out of the way and Jason even lifted me up into his arms while Wally and Roy stood by him. The photographer got the shot of Dick stumbling forward a bit as I was already being lifted into Jason's arms.

Gus started laughing as Dick straighten himself and turned towards us. The three then started run with Dick chasing them. Tim face-palmed while Damian glared at them in the background. Standing behind the photographer, Steph and Cass were giggling with M'gann while Artemis shook her head. Bruce had covered his face with one hand while Oliver patted his shoulder as Dinah laughed at them and telling the photographer to make sure to get a good shot of Bruce.

When Dick caught up to us, he grabbed me and glared at the troublemakers. The photographer captured all of that. So what happened next was that the bridesmaids had it to where they each were holding up Dick and looked like they were taking him away. After that Dick and I finally got our photo because Gus told Jason, Wally, and Roy that they would get no cake if they pulled anything else. The next few photos were me and the bridesmaids and Dick with the groomsmen. Cippia was in my group's photos. As for the last photo, it was where all of us where in it, including Bruce, Gus, and Cippia.

Once done, we head to the ballroom of the Manor. Everyone else went in first while we waited for our turn. We were then announced as Mr. and Mrs. Grayson by Alfred since we thought he would be best for M.C. Once we were seated, the reception begins. At one table sat Oliver, Dinah, their son, Bruce, Barry, Clark, Lois, and Iris. Another table had Lucius, Luke, Duke, Alfred, Gus, and Leslie. For one table, that held the Batboys, Batgirls, and Jon. Damian and Tim were not next to each other but Jon was seated by Damian just in case his Super-strength was needed. At the last table was members or former members of the Team. Dick and I got our own table. The starters were spinach balls with dipping sauce.

Once everyone had their fill, Alfred thanked the guests for coming before motioning to Wally to give his speech while the servers cleared the empty plates.

Wally stood up from his seat and started with, "Thank you all for coming to Dick and Zella's wedding. Which let's be honest, we all thought would never come with this guy.", he said while pointing at Dick who gave him a mock glare as the guests laughed. "Not to mention with someone like Zella. I mean she is the opposite of what Dick has dated so maybe that's why I think she is the best choice he could have made. Hope they have a long and happy marriage." The guests clapped at Wally's words before Dick stood up to say his speech.

He then turned to me before saying, "You are my light, my inspiration. Sometimes I watch just the smallest things you do and think I am the luckiest man alive. I've listened to my heart beat, felt it trapped in the cage of my ribs. But now I think of it like a robin.", he pauses as the crowd chuckles at his choice of bird. "Flying to you, to be joined with you, my heart soars with yours. Together our hearts take wing. I love you utterly, completely and madly: I love the way you look at me. I love to gaze into your eyes. It is only natural that I should always be with you as your husband. I love you Zella Lilith Grayson, with all of my heart, mind, and soul.", he said before finishing with a kiss on my lips.

Dinner was then served and it was a wonderfully prepared Mushroom Wellington by Gus and Alfred.  For dessert, it was a cookie bar. That was Dick's idea since he loves Alfred's cookies. When his brothers heard that Alfred would be making a ton of his cookies, it was hard to keep the boys out of the kitchen. Cippia had to stand guard until the big day to make sure no one would eat all the treats.

Once dinner was done, Dick lead me to the dance-floor and we had our first dance. I smiled as I heard the song that played.

"The song we danced to at our first gala.", I said as I just swayed in his arms as 'Looking Through Your Eyes' played on.

"That and I love looking into your eyes.", he said with a cheeky grin.

"Hush you."

"Make me."

"If you insist.", I said before I kiss him.

I heard people taking pictures of us kissing and smile as I break away. Dick had a dazed look on his face as we finished our dance.

We decided that the dance floor could be open to everyone after Dick and I had our dance since he didn't exactly wanted to dance with Bruce for the parent dance. I stood to the side as people partnered up for a dance. Gus then asked me for a dance so we did just a bit away from the others. He lead me to a area that was slightly hidden from sight from the others and near a door that lead into the driveway of the Manor.

"Coast is clear.", Gus said to a pillar after he stopped dancing.

I was about to ask him what was going on when out stepped a blonde girl about Jason's age in a simple dark blue dress, simple diamond bracelet, and silver heels.

She smiles when she sees me and walks until she stops right in front of me.

"Hi....Big sis.", she says with a sheepish smile.

"A-Aileen?", I asked shocked. "But how....are you here?"

"Yeah.....It's great to see you. Sorry I missed the actual wedding but I am still glad I got to make it to this part. I heard about the wedding from Grandpa.....he sent me a letter and I just knew it was my chance to talk to you after all these years."

Gus just smiles when I look at him before turning back to Aileen.

"But, aren't you,"

"Nope. Not mad at all.", she interrupts me. "In fact, I was never mad about what happened."

I just stood there shocked.

"What happened that night was my fault and my fault alone. I knew about your powers and yet I did such a stupid thing. I should have known better then to disappear and then startle you like that. Mother  told me how you ran away when I woke up and I never got to say sorry. She also wouldn't let me look for you or even listen to me about how it was my fault."

She took a deep breath before speaking again,"So.....think you can forgive your dumb sister?"

I said nothing as I just hugged her with tears in my eyes. "You have nothing to feel sorry about, Lina."

"I missed you calling me that nickname.", she said as she hugged back with tears also in her eyes.

"Aileen Leora Douglas!", was said angrily behind us, causing end of the hug.

Turning to look, we see Nora Douglas, our mother standing in the doorway with a very displeased look on her face.

[365daysofmarysa]

He is so gentle, the way he holds the world in his hands

Makes it all seem simple, like anything can stand a chance

He always sees the beauty, he watches and waits for the right time

He really is something, but so elusive, never fully speaking his mind

..

I’ve been praying a lot, not just for him, I always pray for him to be happy

I’ve been trying to figure everything out

He’s taught me a lot, to just relax, sometimes not my best can be good enough

But lately I just can’t seem to figure anything out

..

He still calms me down, but I’m just more to calm down than I was before

He still has my heart and I think he knows that he always will

He still is so special to me, and I really want the best for him, in a pure, simple way

He makes me want to be better, not just for him, but for myself

..

I don’t know what to do anymore,

All I want to do is give him my love, but it’s not that easy.

Feels so difficult now, to say anything out loud.

And I don’t know what he’s even receptive of

I don’t know what the truth is, and I don’t know how much he’ll let me ask again

I don’t know if it’s me or someone else, that he spends all of his time thinking about

And he writes cryptic words in captions, and he knows all the love songs

He explains all other people’s emotions but when I explain mine he can’t follow along.

There’s all these concepts that he knows and he shows me he can apply

But when I try to ask him what he thinks he closes up and doesn’t know why

..

I wish he’d let someone in, ya I wish it was me but I think he needs someone, so I’ll settle for someone if it can’t be me

I wish he’d open up a little more and do some work on what he doesn’t want to talk about.

I want the best for him, I want a genuinely loving life for him. I want him to know how loved he is by everyone, how special.

My heart is still open, but it hurts. Everyday, it hurts.

I want to know his soul, I want to lie with him.

I want everything to be simple, I want everything to be sweet again.

[specialagentlokitty]

Mark sloan x reader - lasting feelings

When you get the chance, could you possibly write something for GA Mark Sloan with prompt no. 15? I didn’t really have a plot in mind but I feel like it could suit Mark. - Anon💜

15. “I still remember the time we had our first kiss.” “You do?” “Of course I do.”

Years.

That’s how long it had been since you saw your best friend. The last time you saw him was years ago, and when he moved to Seattle you were pleasantly shocked.

Grabbing your jacket you tossed it on and jogged downstairs, tossing your helmet on you jumped on your back and quickly made your way to the hospital.

Parking outside, you jumped off and made your way inside towards reception.

“Hey, I’m looking for Derek Shepherd.”

“Oh, can I ask for a name I’ll let him know.” The lady smiled.

You opened your mouth and before you could tell her you felt someone tap your shoulder.

Spinning around, you came face to face with the man you were looking for.

“(Y/N).”

“Derek!”

You quickly pulled him in for a hug and beamed from ear to ear.

Letting him go, you stuffed one hand into your pocket and grabbed your helmet with the other one.

“It’s been a while, lunch?” He asked.

“Sure.”

Derek led you to the cafe and got you something to eat and you looked around with a small smile on your face.

“Been a while since I had crappy hospital food.”

“Sorry, I’m on duty.” He laughed.

“It’s cool, you know that Der. So what’s up?”

He filled you on everything that happened, he met someone knew, divorced his wife and he was happy.

And it made you happy because all you wanted for him was the best.

“How about you? You left a few years before I did.”

You smiled sadly and shrugged slightly.

“I guess I couldn’t bare the fact the man I loved was in love with my best friends wife.”

“Mark?”

You gave a small him and nodded your head, taking a sip of your coffee.

“You don’t know?” Derek asked.

“Know what?”

“He’s here.”

Looking at Derek in shock, you looked around the cafe before turning back to him.

“He works here?”

“Yeah. I don’t know why he came, he didn’t seem interested in Addison.”

“It’s Mark, so god knows.”

You nodded your head again and laughed slightly.

“He’ll never change I suppose.”

“Nope. So, what brought you here?”

“Work. It was the best opportunity I had in a while, great money.”

Derek smiled and you guys talked for a little bit longer until his pager went.

Offering you an apologetic smile, he quickly stood up.

“Don’t worry I’ve got this, go!”

“I’ll text you later!”

With that, he was gone and you started to tidy everything up.

Once you were done, you grabbed you helmet and started to make you back towards the front when someone else called your name.

In confusion, you stopped and turned around.

Mark stood there in utter shock and the pair of your stared one another for a few minutes

Your heart pounded in your chest.

“Sorry… I’ve got to go…”

With that, you quickly ran away towards your bike but before you could jump on it and leave Mark grabbed your hand.

“Wait!”

He let go and stood in front of your bike, hands resting on the handle bars.

“Wait.. please… let’s talk…”

“About what?”

Leaning against your bike, you crossed your arms over your chest as you frowned at him.

He gave you a small smile.

“So how’re you?”

“Really? That’s what you want to talk about?”

“No.. not really?”

You sighed.

“Then what mark?”

“I just… I wanted to apologise…”

This got your attention.

Never had Mark Sloan apologised in his entire life, for anything.

“Why?”

“Because I broke your heart… I didn’t.. I had no clue you loved me..”

“Yeah..”

Placing his hands on your cheeks, you gave you the warmest of smiles.

“I still remember the time we had our first kiss.”

“You do?“

Laughing, mark nodded his head and kissed your forehead.

“Of course I do.”

“I screwed up, and I realised it too late. I screwed up Addisons and Derek’s marriage, but I don’t want to screw this up…”

“Mark you’re a whore, you sleep with anything with a pulse. That’s not someone I want…”

“Then.. I’ll stop! I won’t sleep with a single soul!”

“You won’t?”

“Not unless it’s you.”

You thought about this for a moment.

You’d loved mark for years, but could he really hold his promise up?

“Three months.”

“What?”

“Three months. No sex, no dates, no other women and I’ll go on a date with you.”

“Yes! Deal!”

Mark quickly hugged you and you smiled and hugged him back.

This was either going to be the best idea of your life or the worst one you’d ever had

[lokiskitten]

Darling I loved adventurous trip soooo much - I thought that you maybe could do a second part where the deflowers the Reader? Or maybe he gives her first head? I am not sure you can choose 🥰 If not that’s also perfectly fine thank you

Tom Hiddleston | adventurous trippt2

Tom Hiddleston x fem!reader

plot : ( refer to part 1 ) after the eventful afternoon you guys spent together, you decide to offer Tom your virginity. He therefore takes the initiative to drive until a motel where you two decide to spend the night.

warnings : smut, age gap, kissing, deflowering, unprotected sex, breeding kink, intra!ejaculation.

Wind brushed through your hair as Tom drove onto one of the many isolated roads of Britain, his hand gently resting onto your thigh whilst the other one kept a firm grip of the steering wheel. A small smile had progressively formed on his lips, his sunglasses gracefully resting on top of his nose as he hummed along the song which played on the radio. Your childish self playfully stared out of the window, watching the landscapes that passed by and disappeared at a rather fast pace whilst enjoying the warmth Tom’s palm offered your upper thigh.

“I don’t want to go home.” You suddenly affirmed, catching the grown man’s attention as he took half a second to shoot you a simple look. He then looked back at the road, thumb rubbing against your clothed flesh. “We don’t have to. We can stop somewhere else for the night.” He answered reassuringly, earning joy from your tormented soul. Now, this was one of the reasons to why you loved him : he was always willing to participate in your unexpected change of plans. “That’d be lovely.” You responded, your hand now landing on top of his in order to accentuate the physical contact you desperately craved for.

This upcoming event managed to strike some confidence within your heart. If you had behaved shyly at first, the accumulation of physical contact and interactions easily led you to crave for more. You wanted Tom to be the first. “I want you to be the first.” You announced, earning an eyebrow raise from the older man who also stood as your best friend. He seemed surprised to hear such a thing, yet his rational heart also felt flattered that you were willing to offer him all of your trust by giving yourself to him. “Well..” He spoke lowly, clearing his throat in order to offer himself some extra time to think about all of this.

“Is it really what you want?” He ended up asking on a rather serious tone, which allowed you to guess that he was nowhere near being joking. Now, this made you shift in your seat as a layer of anxiety now took over your formerly confident mindset. Tom had managed to make you doubt due to his cold words. “Umh.. yes?” You responded hesitantly, fearing that this would also reduce the chances you had for the older man to believe you. “Mmh.” Groaned Tom as his vehicle penetrated into a random Motel’s parking lot. He stopped his car into one of the emplacements before turning off the engine, his body then turning towards yours as he was now able to focus his entire attention on your saddened self.

Instead of speaking up, the man unexpectedly began to caress your hair before bringing a few loose strands behind your ear. His thumb and index finger took a gentle hold of your chin in order to move your face towards his, ocean blue eyes making contact with your rather turned off self. “Hey..” he began calmly, wanting to slowly dip you into the subject. “You don’t owe me anything. You know that, right?” Tom questioned, earning an understanding nod from you. Never once had you thought that you owed your friend something, but it was probably better for him to see and understand it with his own eyes. “Right.” Tom finished before turning back around and reaching for the door handle.

He opened the door of the vehicle before stepping out of the car, anxiously looking around and seeking for random people passing by which he thankfully didn’t spot. Tom had always enjoyed peace, but also remained aware that motels didn’t necessarily have a good reputation. The last thing he wished was to put you in danger. You got out of the car as well, slamming the door shut after yourself before beginning to follow the grown man until the motel’s reception desk. It didn’t take long for the two of you to book a room for the night, which Tom generously agreed to pay by himself, before being handed the key to your temporary apartment.

The room was petty, and so was the decoration and global hygiene. Yet the fact that you would get to spend an entire night with your friend managed to make you forget about all of those irrelevant details. Tom dropped his jacket onto one of the chairs after he had taken care of closing the door behind your agitated silhouette. His body turned towards yours, mind remembering about what you’ve previously told him in the car. His hands traveled up to your cheeks which he rubbed with his thumbs, the man taking steps forward in order to make you automatically back away towards the bed. Tom looked right into your soul, yet without ever appearing intrusive nor inappropriate. In contrary, it all felt amazingly right.

His lips ended up pressing against yours again, offering you another taste of his flesh for the first time since you had put an end to your first intercourse back in the car. You allowed yourself to shyly kiss back as the back of your legs collided with the dirty mattress, a sensation which managed to pull you back into reality. Pulling away, Tom watched in awe as you took the initiative to lie down on the bed yourself, your head soon colliding with the stiff pillows whilst your friend took care of patiently removing your shoes. He allowed himself to pull off your sock, his lips offering your ankle a delicate kiss whilst his ocean blue eyes continued to stare at your face.

A smile then appeared on his lips as the grown man began to lower his silhouette in order to get on top of you, your hands reaching out for his shoulders which you held in a needy manner. If you hadn’t hold yourself back, whimpers could’ve easily been escaping your lips by now. You were desperate to receive more of him. Again, his mouth came in contact with your open lips- tongue slipping inside of your mouth in order to get a taste of your saliva. You enjoyed this brand new, warm and moist physical contact. Tom’s hips soon began to grind against yours, his cock hardening within his pants at the thought of getting to intimately discover your body in a couple of minutes.

Though you were usually considered as an overthinker, this new position managed to make you forget about anything which didn’t regard the upcoming matter. You could feel genuine love and passion burning through every single of Tom’s kisses, his large hands roaming your waist as his hips continued to happily collide with yours. The scent which erupted from his neck and overall silhouette was quite intoxicating- the man having done a great job when it came to choosing the right cologne. An eager moan came out of your mouth, catching Tom off guard and leading him to chuckle playfully.

His body hovered above yours, arms now holding him up so that his blue eyes would be able to make proper eye contact with you. “What was that?” He questioned ironically, obviously looking forward to ease the ambiance by teasing you. You hid your face behind your palms, smile appearing on your lips as Tom used one of his hands to move your arms away from your pretty face. The eye contact the two of you now engaged managed to make your heart melt, nothing but pure honesty reflecting in Tom’s ocean blue orbs. Anyone with a good instinct was easily able to feel if a specific person possessed negative intentions, and you could genuinely tell that your friend neared none of those bad thoughts.

“You’re beautiful.” He affirmed calmly, earning a head tilt from your shy self. You never truly knew how to properly react face to receiving an unexpected compliment. After taking a few seconds waiting for an answer, Tom decided to break the silence by beginning to go down on you, his large hand trailing down your thigh until he was kneeling in between your legs. His hands began to unbutton your jeans, which were then removed in order to allow the older man to praise your bare flesh. He lifted your leg up to his face, lips spraying rough kisses and gentle bites onto your inner thigh- moves which sent chills down your spine. You tilted your head back as your hands took a firm hold of the bedsheets.

Face to your positive reaction, a smirk appeared on Tom’s lips as his eyes were directed towards your face, lips still pressed against your skin as he progressively made his way towards your crotch. If you once felt intimidated by the thought of such an interaction, you couldn’t help but now want things to accelerate and accentuate. A few extra shy moans came out of your mouth upon sensing Tom’s nose near your clothed cunt, your genitals throbbing and soaking up underneath the comfortable cotton panties. One of your hands reached down for his shoulder, leading the man to look up at your exhilarated self. You were pulling onto his shirt- either suggesting for him to take it off or make his way back up to your upper body.

Being torn apart by doubt, Tom sat back up on his knees before beginning to unbutton his fancy shirt he once took off for you in the back of his vehicle. His defined abdominals were revealed to you yet again, your eyes still as pleased by this satisfying view. Smiling down at you, the man tossed the article of clothing away before leaning back down, lips colliding with yours in order to form a passionate kiss. You were now easily able to feel his hardened cock and that even through his pants, a sensation you couldn’t potentially get enough off and which sent your own genitals crazy. You were now desperately gripping onto his hair, wishing to install a little bit of extra heat within this already eager intercourse.

Tom obviously understood your signals as one of his hands traveled down until his pants which he began to undo, the other forearm keeping his body up above yours and making sure not to accidentally crush your smaller self. You looked down at his hurried action, your hands resting against your own chest as your eyes admired his perfectly veiny hands. In order to remain active as well, you ended up sitting up to remove your shirt, leaving yourself in nothing but your bra and comfortable panties. This was an initiative which visibly pleased the older man who barely just got done with unbuttoning and sliding off his trousers. As soon as he managed to get rid of his pants, the British gentleman was back at it again, more eager than ever.

His lips now praised your neck, the scent of your pheromones driving his own senses absolutely crazy. One of his hands dared to begin to massage your breast, offering it exactly the perfect amount of attention it needed and craved for. Your breath was shivery, and so was his. Tom was soon to begin a well deserved dry humping session, his hips eagerly colliding against yours as if he wanted you to get used to the upcoming interaction before it had even started. You moaned as you felt his warmth against your crotch, clit and lips throbbing out of need and envy face to such inviting manners.

“More..” you begged silently, eyes opening only to end up making contact with his. Tom smiled down at you, appreciating the way you seemed to be feeling more confident about the overall situation. “My fierce little girl..” he praised happily, his lips then pressing a kiss to your forehead. One of Tom’s hands slid down until his underwear which he pulled down, revealing his stiff member which you didn’t even bare to look at for now. Then, the grown man took a few steps back in order to remove your own panties, which were then tossed to the side like most of the pieces of clothing you once wore. Falling back down between your legs, an unexpected shiver ran down your spine as his warm tip collided with your clit.

Again, it was a brand new feeling you would surely get accustomed to, and which you would probably soon be begging for more of. But for now, anxiety had managed to take over your organism again. “It might hurt a little at first. The best you can do is relax, breath.” Tom explained reassuringly, not wishing for this upcoming sensation to take you off guard and potentially scare you for good. One of the male’s hands took ahold of your thigh, lifting it up against his hip and keeping it there whilst he began to line up with your sensitive entrance. Meanwhile, you calmly rested where you’ve been lying for a couple of minutes now whilst waiting for Tom to finally penetrate your cunt.

His tip ended up pushing inside of you at a slow pace, allowing your entrance to take the time it needed in order to stretch and accustom to his rather prominent size. A guttural groan escaped Tom’s lips upon finally feeling his cockhead being wrapped in your wetness, this sensation sending shivers down his spine and tickles within his own genitals. On another hand, you couldn’t help but wince silently in order not to offend your friend, your hands taking ahold of his shoulders for both physical and mental support. Thomas waited a couple of seconds before beginning to push himself further in, his girth breaking through your hymen which thankfully didn’t hurt one bit. It only felt as if something was stretching you out, but pain lacked.

Once he had finally reached balls deep, the calm adult looked down at you in order to spot potential facial expressions which could’ve betrayed the fact that you felt uncomfortable. He would obviously wait until these had eased up before he could begin to thrust in and out of you. The warm sensation of his balls pressed against your ass managed to pull you out of your negative thoughts, as it was a small add up indeed but which still managed to bring joy to your lustful heart. Your cunt couldn’t help but unintentionally contract around his member, leading Tom to wince every time your walls squeezed and got tighter against your will. It was a pleasuring feeling, but which also made the man crave for more.

After waiting for a couple of long seconds, Tom took the initiative to move out of your tight self, earning fainted hisses from you which progressively faded away the more his hips thrusted against and away from your crotch. Thankfully for the two of you, the minor previous foreplay had managed to soak you up perfectly- which obviously made it less painful for you than it could’ve been. You were now fully able to enjoy the beginning intercourse, your arms wrapping around Tom’s neck and pulling him closer to your desperate silhouette. Your eyelids closed, your brain seeking for extra concentration through this sexual interaction. Never once you had thought it could feel that good, and even less with a man who was twice your age. To be frankly honest, you hadn’t truly questioned the matter until today.

Tom moaned against your ear, his gutteral groans sending chills down your spine and shockwaves of pleasure through your crotch. Your entrance continued to occasionally contract around his thick girth, making the overall interaction even more enjoyable for the older man who was seeking intense sensations. You absolutely loved feeling his warmth against yours, the way his smooth skin would rub against your flesh in such a nice manner. You absolutely didn’t regret trusting him through this scary process, and you were now rewarded for your boldness and courage. The bedhead rocked against the wall as Tom thrusted in and out of you, hips rolling against yours in divine manner. None of you could potentially care nor even think about the neighbors’ tranquility at the moment, as you were too intoxicated by the ongoing intercourse to pay attention to your surroundings.

Thomas unexpectedly bit down onto your neck, teeth taking a gentle hold of your flesh as if the man wished to make you his, to mate, tame and claim you as his. As primal as it could appear, you enjoyed it. Besides, your heart now irrevocably belonged to him, which left no room for another man, or woman, to steal your devoted attention. His thrusts were now getting sloppier, exhausted pants exiting Tom’s lips as his hands moved underneath your back before taking ahold of your shoulders- probably in order to keep you in place when he would finally come. Again, you managed to bump into this rather primal side of his through small details such as this one. However, before you could think any further, you suddenly and unexpectedly felt a warm substance fill up your hole, staining your walls with heat and lust. Had he just..?

Seemingly satisfied moans escaped Tom’s lips as his hips remained tightly pressed against yours, balls twitching as they sent warm sperme shooting through his sensitive urethra which remained locked with your cervix. If there was a chance for you not to get pregnant, your friend had just wiped it off the list. The grown man moved up, face looking down at your crotch as he pulled out of you. “Ohhh... fuck.” He moaned, cum soon beginning to flow out of your twitching entrance. Now, this was an extremely delicious sight to the man who had a breeding kink- and who enjoyed admiring his good work. His thumb traveled up to your clit which he began to rub and tease; once again sending shockwaves of pleasure through your crotch. Your entrance contracted unwillingly, leading more semen to squirt out of your exhausted and sweaty self.

And I am back 😏 I hope you guys enjoyed this! Lots of love for all of you!! Thank you so much for the support and for 700 followers!!

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Neptune aspecting Mercury and Venus

(Continuation of my post “Neptune aspecting the Sun and Moon”)

Mercury aspecting Neptune

Mercury is representative of deductive reasoning, of communication and learning, of exchange of information and social interaction. Mercury is essentially representative of the mental faculties, the ability to draw conclusions based on the gathering of information. Mercury represents the intellect, the most commonly applied tool for understanding and navigating the world around the self. It’s the tool that makes connections, that defines and discriminates. The intellect is a divisive mechanism that breaks things down and distinguishes every little part to discover its function and purpose within the whole.

Mercury aspecting Neptune often lends itself to a very creative mind and an ability to articulate and communicate nuances. It also seems to lend itself to a vivid imagination – an ability to paint a picture with words or portray an archetypal energy through mimicry and acting. The conjunction is the most intense of the aspects and the benefits as well as the debilitations are felt more acutely. While Mercury-Neptune has the ability to “enchant” with words and easily navigate the world of imagery and fairytales, the real world void of magic can be less easy to navigate. Taylor Swift has the conjunction and she’s a great example of someone who is a storyteller through songwriting. She essentially takes the interactions of her everyday life and turns it into magic – something that is universal and appeals to people world wide. Music has the ability to glamorize the most dull and ordinary and elevate it to new heights. There’s a might to music and it speaks to people on the feeling level. Music, movies and theater for that matter have the goal to affect people, to mirror their inner life and strike a note on some level of the psyche. Mercury-Neptune comes with the risk of being easily affected by words and a tendency to read into things more than necessary. Sometimes the meaning of another person’s words can be distorted and made to fit the person’s own preferred narrative. This is a huge problem, especially for the conjunction - sometimes words that actually carry weight can be made out to mean anything. Furthermore, in overlooking the concrete – that which is spelled out loud and clear, there door is wide open to make mistakes and blunders when tending to details, and in real life this can have dire consequences. Reading too much into things or not reading enough into things seems to be the problem. Neptune refines whatever planet it touches and this can make for a real ability to work with subtleties, but the more subtle something is, the less dense and concrete it is. The more sensitive the instrument, the more susceptible it is to suggestion and manipulation. Fantasy and imagination is inextricably merged with the intellect with this aspect.

The trine and the sextile aspects from Neptune to Mercury similarly lends themselves to a feeling for subtlety when communicating and thinking. The trine is more of a natural modus operandi while the sextile is more of a skill that can be used and activated through conscious cooperation. Mercury-Neptune can potentially cause a propensity for lying, not because of a need for a control but because of a natural tendency to distort information. This is as true for the conjunction as the trine, while the sextile might take some deliberation. The tendency to convey information in the most romanticized and creative fashion might border on lying because it leaves people with no grasp of the cold and hard facts. Mercury-Neptune is not good with the plain, cut and dry message transferring – these people thinks in images and imbue everything they convey with a touch of story-telling.

The square from Neptune to Mercury, seems to make the native very serious in creative pursuits. There’s effort and strain that is required because of conflict felt between the intellect and the vault of dreams and fantasy. Usually, the native displays criticism of their work and is skeptically inclined toward their own influence or the value of their own artistic pursuits. Amy Winehouse had the square in her chart and she was quite hard on herself although the public loved her. Even in people who aren’t pursuing an artistic path, the Mercury –Neptune square will cause the person to undervalue any talents and dreams that they have, yet be pressed to develop and fulfill them. David Bowie is also a great example of this type of person – on the one hand there’s nebulousness and chaotic creativity, on the one hand there’s analyzing and mental discernment that is unforgiving. Donald Trump also has the square, quite the business man, yet he’s not someone who is able to stick to the purely factual– he manufactures his own story, his own narrative that people, to a large extent, wants to buy. He speaks to the masses and moves them emotionally, some say he’s profoundly stupid, some says his wits are underestimated. This is typical of the square, there’s tension between the two planets and one cannot take credit for both ends. Either one sacrifices Mercury and looks mad and deranged, or one sacrifices Neptune and appears overly critical and rational – even cold and unfeeling.

The opposition aspect is in turn linked to extremism – the native must try to balance intellectual discernment with emotional receptivity. Too much of one thing will be to the detriment of the other. While the square produces conflict and tension, the opposition can give the ability to abandon one planet in favor of the other. Yoko Ono has this aspect and she has obviously been a big advocate of peace and love (Neptune), sometimes to the detriment of rhyme and reason. She has suggested that “direct communication” is the only way to true communication, but of course, this is only possible in the womb, if even then. The great gift of the opposition is the ability to abandon reason, to experience everything and hold onto nothing, to not label and impose judgment. However, it’s not difficult to see the consequences for this sacrifice.

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Venus aspecting Neptune

Venus is representative of love and beauty, of femininity and sociability. The planet is linked to that which is of value, worthy of display and admiration. It also has something to do with preferences, style and talent. Venus is the one attracting Mars, that instigates desire, that draws him in. That which instigates our desire is powerful because it dictates action. Venus has a lot to do with money because it’s a marker and a measure of value – and people want to have as much as possible of it in order to be comfortable and socially desirable. Venus also has to do with partnership and marriage, and in order to catch someone’s eye, one has to be beautiful and appealing.

Neptune conjunct Venus is truly the height of love. While Venus is more personal and more social in nature, Neptune is the collective urge for redemption, the pull to touch something sacred. Neptune in us wants it all, the magic of enchantment that belongs to fairytales. Ordinary human love, which is more about feeling esteemed within a social context and desired for specific qualities, is not cutting it. With these planets conjunct, the person craves the total submerging with the one and only beloved in one’s heart and in other people’s hearts. Neptunian love is based on the mutual longing for something eternally blissful, the garden of Eden, the ultimate escape. This longing exist in all human beings to a larger or lesser extent, but it certainly unifies us and in some ways confirm our basic vulnerability and need for redemption. When Neptune and Venus are conjunct it would seem as if the person is very compassionate and understanding of people’s hearts. No doubt one can be very soothing and able to see the beloved one in all people one meets, which can be wonderful but also overwhelming and exhausting. The person is certainly capable of being accepting of all people, even to the point of allowing things that shouldn’t be allowed. Disillusionment can dawn brutally on these types since they have strong investment in the pure and untainted love that can only be kept alive in fantasy. These planets aspecting each other is a setup for being in love with love. Love for these types might not be about a specific person, they might seek out someone for their ability to mirror them. In other words, it would be difficult to love a person for their individuality because one would seek out someone with enough receptivity and mutability in order to find something of oneself in the other. Of course, this seems to be the nature of love despite Venus aspecting Neptune or not. We only ever fall in love with ourselves, although we’re unconscious of the fact. The only reason we’re ever drawn to someone is because we see something of ourselves in them. For people with Venus-Neptune contacts this phenomenon is taken to new heights. Liking and being fond of something yet knowing that that person or thing is different from oneself is entirely different from feeling a sense of union and yearning that is the oceanic deity calling a person home. With Neptune, the love object is the answer to all prayers and the remedy for all one’s troubles and pains. This is of course never quite true and the disappointment that follows upon the clearing of the intoxicating mist can be very scary and deeply depressing. Personal love, marriage and commitment might be idealized to the point of absurdity.

The trine and the sextile aspects are less intense compared to the conjunction, but they similarly denote a refined taste and a appreciation of artistry and music – anything that touches people’s souls inexplicably and profoundly. Typically, all Venus-Neptune aspects indicate a need to be loved unconditionally and to love unconditionally. Both of these harmonious aspects denote a very compassionate nature and a tendency to idealize and glamourize love. One is naturally very generous with one’s outpouring of affection, even when one’s own heart is broken. The trine indicates that the person is innately and naturally mirroring other people’s beauty. Escapism and distortion of reality is one’s way of being, it is not an acquired skill but rather something that’s a given. It’s probably easy to over-indulge in pleasure in order to escape the dreary everyday existence. In fact, when things get too hard, this is exactly what this type is likely to do. The sextile is more of a skill that is available for use. In other words, one is able to stimulate a bit of Neptune’s magic and universality in one’s style of expressing love – adding a bit of glamour, unattainability and fantasy in the mix. Conscious cooperation is required though, it’s not as if the sextile is going to cause over-indulgence as soon as one lets go of inhibitions.

The square aspect typically brings doubt and friction, when Neptune and Venus are involved, the conflict is between one’s personal value(s) and the recognition of oneness. Usually, the ugly side of Neptune comes out more readily. One wants to attain something special and magical but since one is not attuned enough or certain of one’s own preferences and values neither planet gets fulfilled or satisfied. Kim Kardashian has this square and she is never quite satisfied with her appearance (Venus), which is why she spends to much time perfecting it. She wants so badly to embody the ideal (Neptune) yet can’t seem to close the gap between her own personal look and the otherworldly refinement that Neptune represents. What ends up happening is that she becomes too artificial, some would even call her grotesque – she simply can’t find peace with imperfection – everything has to be sweet and pretty to the point that the coin flips and everything turns ugly. Although Neptune is usually associated with spirituality and the beauty of the divine, it is also associated with dissolution and disintegration – which often manifests as madness. Kim Kardashian has many times been rude or downright aggressive because of her vanity and venusian pride. Madonna also has this square and she certainly falls in the category of people who care enormously about their appearance, being attractive and young even up until old age. Venus is the goddess of youth and beauty and Neptune holds the promise of redemption through the planet(s) that it aspects. It’s easy to see how this square relationship between the planets could run amok. If youth is the gate to heaven, one would be willing to go very far in order to not let the imperfections stop heaven from becoming a reality. When it comes to love and relationships there’s inevitability of disappointment and uncertainty – one tends to look for the perfect partner yet no one can be it all in terms of fulfilling the dream because the standards are set too high. On the flip side, the standards can also be too low, because of the Neptunian tendency is to either be unrealistically idealistic or stubbornly accepting and passive in destructive situations.

The opposition aspect doesn’t typically bring out the obsession with perfect love and beauty. It makes the individual aware that love, in it’s selfish guise of wanting another person or object tied to the self in some way because of good looks and style, is antithetical to universal love. In a sense, personal love must be sacrificed for communion with the source of life, that which many people call God – or, God must be sacrificed for ordinary human seduction, value and pleasure.  These are the people who are only looking to touch the source of life through love and union, nothing more. They’re not looking to simple hedonistic pleasures or superficial adornments. If they do, they’re doing it at the detriment of true compassion and communion with all of life. George Harrison had this opposition in his chart and so had Bob Marley. Both were musicians, both used drugs and both had a deep urge for spirituality. Both emphasized the importance of the connection with God and pointed out the triviality of worldly matters. Venus, is to an extent, quite earthy and materialistic. She cares about being nice, looking nice and behaving in a way that causes others to admire her. It seems like Harrison lost his first marriage because of incessant drug use and infidelities. Neptune is boundless and is everywhere and anywhere – there was no way Venus, ruling marriage and social contracts, could conquer the pull of the promise of ecstatic union. With the opposition, either special partnership/marriage or God is the pursuit, neither can exists in conjunction with the other.