#or that some bad things happened to you today
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roboticchibitan · 2 days ago
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Not a job (I am disabled) but I also have a story. I'm a Tibetan Buddhist and my teacher is a Tibetan refugee and he's been a monk for 48 years. He's 65. He lived alone in a cave for five years. He holds some conservative views about things like marriage (in the sense of arranged marriages often being more successful and therefore better than "love marriages," not in the sense of "same sex marriage bad") and how children should be disciplined. So I was nervous to come out to him as nonbinary.
I visited him a few weeks ago and made a remark about wanting to be a monk in my next life and he said "well you never know what will happen. It could happen in this life." I told him that was true as I've already decided I'll become a monk if something happens to my gf. I then said something along the lines of "I guess technically I'd be a nun... I'm kind of somewhere between a monk and a nun though." And then I was internally like "will he think anything of that? Maybe I shouldn't have said that."
But he responded really positively! He told me about how being trans wasn't a thing in Tibet but now they've had their first trans person transition from being a monk to being a nun and that she's very popular. Then he told me about Indian hijras and asked me some questions. He very excitedly said "you're teaching me so much today" like three times.
He asked me if third genders are legally recognized here for things like official documents and I told him that federally I didn't think so but that our state does. And he told me that India recently recognized third genders legally and that "people should just accept it because it is the reality now."
I haven't heard him use any pronouns for me yet but I know he'll try his best to respect them. English is his third language so I don't really mind if he makes mistakes cuz I sure don't speak more than one language and I still make mistakes when someone I've known my entire life changes their pronouns.
Lots of people have open hearts. The haters are just loud.
I started a new remote job last week, and I'm the only genderqueer person at the company (and the first person who uses neo pronouns that anyone on my team has ever met, apparently).
So far:
Manager carefully wrote down spelling and pronunciation of my pronouns and told everyone on the team to respect them.
Coworker apologized privately for misgendering me (I hadn't told her yet) and said she will practice.
Guy on another team valiantly tried to use my pronouns and ended up saying something like zirzs-zhizz (I DM'd him and thanked him for trying and linked him to a practice site).
Teammate told me he has written out my pronouns and how to use them in a sentence and literally taped it to his monitor so he can practice.
Teammate also referred to me as compañere after I linked to a comic about gender-neutral endings in Spanish (whole team except me + 1 other person speaks Spanish as first language and they held all meetings in Spanish before the two of us started).
I am so stoked that people are actually trying. 💜🤍💚
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chestersturniolo · 12 hours ago
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good cop , bad cop
Matt Sturniolo x fem!reader x Chris Sturniolo
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Summary; You have been a moody guts all day. Matt goes straight to comforting mode.. Chris, not so much
disclaimer; Chratt poly relationship dynamic! if you are not comfortable with this, do not read // suggestive // pet names // most likely a one shot.. based on this request
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You flop onto the couch with an exaggerated huff, crossing your arms over your chest. Your irritation at an all time high for no real reason. It’s been one of those days, and it feels like nothing is going your way.
Matts attention is caught by your dramatics, he glances over from where he sat on the other side of the couch. “Hey-” he says softly “-what’s wrong sweetheart? You’ve been in a mood since this morning” his voiced concerned
You groan dramatically, rolling your eyes. “Nothing. I’m fine.” you snap,
Matt frowns, “C’mon, talk to me. Did something happen? Did I do something?” His voice is still patient, gentle, but for some reason it only makes you more annoyed.
“Ugh, Matt can you not?-” you sass back. “-I said I’m fine. Why can’t you just leave it alone?”
Before Matt can respond, Chris speaks up from the kitchen, his voice cutting through your tantrum “Alright, that’s enough” he says firmly, turning to face you. His blue eyes locking onto yours,. “What’s with the attitude, kid? You’ve been whinin’ n actin’ like a little brat all day”
Your eyebrows immediately raise, taken back by his tone.
“Chris!” Matt snaps, shooting him a disapproving look. “Don’t talk to her like that, she’s just—”
“She’s just what?” Chris interrupts, standing his ground. “Throwing a tantrum because she’s gotten herself all worked up for no reason? Don’t coddle her, Matt. It’s not helping.”
You glare at him, but Chris doesn’t waver. “look I get that you’re not in the best of moods today-” he says, his tone softening just a little “-but that doesn’t mean you get to take it out on us. We’re here to help you, not be your punching bags kid”
Matt sighs, running a hand through his hair “You didn’t have to put it like that” he mutters, clearly torn between defending you and acknowledging Chris has a point.
“Maybe not-“ Chris concedes, his gaze flicking back to you “-but she needed to hear it”
You shift in your seat with an subtle eye roll. Chris wasn’t wrong…you had been a little over the top today. But still, his bluntness stings.
Matt scoots over to you on the couch, his hand resting gently on your knee. “listen-” he says softly “-whenever something’s bothering you, just tell us, okay? We can talk anything out”
“Yeah-“ chris starts in agreement, making his way over to the couch “-we’ve got your back ma, next time lose the attitude, huh?” he says,crossing his arms as he stands infront of you
You sigh, the fight draining out of you as you mumble, “Okay, m’sorry” feeling slightly guilty
Matt smiles, giving your knee a reassuring squeeze. Chris smirks, tossing a wink your way “There’s our girl”
Your lips instinctively curl upward at his coo..you’d always found it quite hard to stay mad at them for long periods of time. They had this way of breaking your attitude down, sometimes without even trying. You let out another small sigh, “i think i’ve just been a little stressed lately that’s all..” you say honestly, your eyes flickering between them both.
Matt clicks his tongue “ah baby, why didn’t you say so? i know just the thing for that..” he says before throwing a glance to chris with a smirk. They share a quick knowing look before Chris’ smirk forms also, knowing exactly what his brother is getting at.
Before you could process what was happening, Chris leans down, scooping you up off the couch. You let out a surprise squeal as he hoists you up and slings you over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry, before placing a firm smack to your ass as he starts walking off toward Matts room.
“Where are we going” you giggle,lifting your head slightly to see Matts figure following closely behind
“We’re going to relieve all that stress of yours baby-“ Matt mumbles, wetting his bottom lip, his hand coming down to unbuckle his belt as he walks “-jus’ relax, we’re gonna take good care of you hmm?”
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MASTERLIST LINKED HERE
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ckret2 · 1 day ago
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Above: Bill showing off the messed up things he can make the Nightmare Realm do.
Below: Bill literally an hour later.
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Here, have a fic. In which the gods try to figure out what to do about the new omnicidal chaos god who would rather destroy reality than politely exit Dimension Zero so they can arrest him for burning down multiple dimensions.
This is part 7 of a ???9-ish??? part plot about the Axolotl meeting this friendly harmless innocent little triangle in the wake of the Euclidean Massacre and then getting repeatedly slapped in the face with all the atrocities Bill's committed. If you want to read and/or look at the pretty art on the other parts, here's one, two, three, four, five, and six.
####
There was fresh fear amongst the many gods crowded around the site where Dimension 2 Delta had once stood.
The perimeter around Dimension Zero's turbulent border had pulled back dramatically, leaving a barren no man's land between the police cordon and the triangle's territory.
The fires in the 1D and 2D universes, for a moment so close to doused, had returned with a vengeance—and by the sound of some chatter amongst the Apocalyptic Threat Task Force agents, they suspected it was a literal vengeance. The storm cloud heading the ATTF operations had needed to personally visit the burning dimensions again—see which previously contained fires had reignited or jumped their firelines, and see which new fires had broken out so that it could redistribute the available firefighting forces appropriately.
The Time Giant had gone along to inspect the damage and figure out which dimensions could be repaired—provided they ever stopped the fires—and which would ultimately needed to be rebuilt.
And anyone who wasn't actively engaged in trying to control the fires was still trying to process the newest crisis: the leader of the mortals who'd fallen into Dimension Zero wasn't a fellow mortal victim, but an out-of-control new god with the power to move and burn entire universes who didn't seem to understand that he was about to destroy all of reality, himself included.
VENDOR had finally run out of excuses to avoid the media, and was now reluctantly holding an impromptu press conference with the reporters on the scene—and THEY looked so miserable the Axolotl nearly felt bad for THEM. He overheard THEM blurt out, probably far louder than intended, "I will not be remembered as the god who was in charge of the emergency response efforts that got the entire multiverse destroyed!" and he wondered whether VENDOR remembered either that THEY weren't in charge or that, if the multiverse were destroyed, THEY wouldn't be remembered at all. No one would be.
From the conversations he overheard, the Axolotl got the impression that no one, even the most senior ATTF agents on the scene, had ever dealt with a threat to the multiverse this dire. No one knew what to do about the triangle—least of all the Axolotl, who was only here because everybody still hadn't realized that he wasn't supposed to be.
So while everyone else was arguing, privately panicking, or actually doing something useful, he was floating at the cordon holding people away from Dimension Zero.
####
There were a few stars and rocky bodies on the wrong side of the cordon. The triangle's sun—the star that had once shone down on his 2D world before it burned down (before he burned it down)—was still out there. Once again, it was falling toward Dimension Zero.
He glanced around to see if anyone was watching, then swooped under the cordon, scooped up the sun, and carried it back to the safe zone. He opened a portal to his tank, slid the star inside, then shook out his forefeet and inspected the burns on the soft skin. He'd been playing with a lot of fire today.
"Axolotl!"
The Axolotl looked up. He wasn't surprised by the familiar sight of his Oracle's soul emerging from the aether—she'd already come by once to but he was frustrated by it. One more person he had to protect in this mess.
"Something happened—"
"I know." He quickly curled around her, doing his best to shield her from the other gods in case any of the nearby arguments escalated—or the triangle decided to lash out at the third dimension again. "You shouldn't be here now. It isn't safe."
Of course, she ignored him. She wouldn't be the kind of person he picked as one of his Oracles if she weren't the kind of person who ignored gods' warnings. "Our seers heard the whole sky scream in pain, and then saw a vast eye—"
"Over there." He lifted his tail out of the way just enough to let her see the border of Dimension Zero.
No matter where you looked at Dimension Zero, that golden fleck of light seemed to twinkle in the center of your field of vision. The Oracle squinted. "The little flat yellow creature?"
"He was bigger earlier."
"What happened?"
"A showdown with the cops."
The Oracle paused as she tried to reconcile that with the seers' apocalyptic vision. "Who won?"
"He did."
"Good." And she wouldn't have been the kind of person the Axolotl picked for his Oracles if she didn't say that, either.
On most days, he'd agree with her. But after seeing what the triangle could do—knowing what he would do... The cops weren't the answer, but he had to be stopped somehow.
(He could feel the triangle's eye on them. Was he listening to them now?)
"He's shaped like a triangle. Is he connected to the blind seer's final vision?"
The seer who'd seen the sky burn and collapse into a blinding triangular light. "He is. He's the last survivor of the first dimension to burn. His people called him the Magister Mentium; he was a seer to his people, too."It tore the Axolotl's heart to say more than that—but he wouldn't mislead his Oracle. "Somehow, he started the fire."
Before the Oracle could ask him how, a faint voice yelled, "Hey!"
They turned toward Dimension Zero. The triangle was on the border, looking straight at them. He shouted again, "Hey! You with the pink freak!"
"What?"
"How many fingers do you have!"
She gave her four arms a puzzled look. "Twenty!"
"Wow!" The triangle sounded genuinely impressed. "What do you use 'em all for?!"
"Normal finger things?" She asked, "Why's your hat so skinny?"
"What hat?"
She paused. "Never mind!" She turned back to the Axolotl and whispered, "Is the hat part of his body?"
"I don't think so. He didn't have it the last time I saw him."
She kept trying to look at the triangle until the Axolotl curled around her to stop her staring. "That's the seer who's destroying universes?"
He wanted to make excuses for the triangle. He wanted to defend him. "Yes."
She was silent a moment before asking the question she'd really come for: "Is my world in danger?"
"Not yet. Not directly. But... if he isn't stopped, it eventually will be," the Axolotl said. "He's fallen into the center of the multiverse and is trying to build a kingdom there. If he fails, it will collapse and kill him; but if he succeeds, it will destabilize and kill all of reality."
"Wh—?!" She gave him a look of disbelief. "But—that doesn't make any sense! He loses either way!"
"I know."
"So why is he endangering everyone for nothing?!"
"I don't know."
"I'm going to find out."
"Wait—!"
The Oracle's astral projection could be very slippery when she wanted; she was already past the Axolotl and flying toward Dimension Zero. "Hey! Magister Mentium! I want a word with you!"
"Don't cross the border between dimensions!" The Axolotl clutched the police tape in both forefeet as he watched.
After five minutes of shouting and death threats, the Oracle flew back to the Axolotl.
"I think he's stupid," she said.
He smiled sadly. "I fear it's something much worse than that."
He had the skin-crawling feeling that the triangle was staring at him. He forced himself not to turn and find out for sure.
####
The Time Giant was the first to return from the frontlines of the fire. She joined the Axolotl next to the police tape, muttered something about needing to pick up some "stuff" from "a couple centuries ago," snapped out a length of time tape, and returned three seconds later in a different shirt with sleeves rolled up and carrying a folding table, a bundle of blueprints, and an energy drink. She unfolded the table in the void, spread out her blueprints on it, chugged her drink, hunched over the table, and ignored the rest of the universe.
The Oracle gazed up at the Time Giant and instantly fell in love. The Axolotl politely pretended he didn't notice.
VENDOR was the second to float over—slumped forward, lights dim, looking like THEY were returning from a war zone rather than a press conference. Heaving a weary sigh, THEY positioned THEMSELF next to the cordon with the Axolotl and Time Giant; which was the point at which the Axolotl realized he'd accidentally formed a club of people who didn't want to be in charge of this mess but were. "Any change?" 
The Time Giant grunted distractedly. The Axolotl said, "No." The Oracle said, "I accidentally taught the triangle an obscene gesture." 
VENDOR turned toward Dimension Zero.
The triangle sprouted two extra arms and gleefully pantomimed something filthy.
VENDOR turned away from Dimension Zero and sighed even more heavily.
When the storm cloud drifted over, VENDOR said, "Go away unless you have good news." The arrogance had drained out of THEIR voice; what little pomposity THEY had left was a thin mask over exhausted fear. (The Axolotl could sympathize; he felt the same dread weighing low in the pit of his stomach.)
Before the storm cloud had left to check on the other dimensions, it had still been hailing in fear; by now, it had whipped itself up into a furious blizzard. It had to stay back from the group to keep from freezing them too, and even at that frost still crept across VENDOR's glass and the Axolotl had to shield the Oracle from the cold. "Well," it said stiffly, trying to rein in its rage and sounding even colder as a consequence.. "Almost all the new fires have already been contained. I'll say one thing for that—" It paused as it mentally glided over what was no doubt a long and creative list of insults, "—guy; at least he's making an effort to be more careful of where he kicks the neighboring dimensions so the damage doesn't spread as fast." It sighed a chilly, angry gust of wind. "Unfortunately, he's gotten more aggressive about kidnapping mortals from other dimensions. He's narrowed his focus, but he's kicking ten times harder."
"That wasn't very good good news," VENDOR whined.
"Sorry. Fresh out," the cloud said. "Fact is, if we don't stop him, we're toast."
Nobody was surprised by that. VENDOR asked, "How much time do we have?" THEY turned to the Time Giant.
While VENDOR had gotten pathetic and the cloud was seething with barely-restrained rage, the Time Giant had only grown more stoic. Her face was set in a stony mask; her jaw was tight enough that she could bite an airplane clean in half. Since she'd come back, she hadn't glanced up from the stack of blueprints she'd retrieved.
It took her a moment to realize the question was directed toward her. She jerked her head up as if ready to snap at whoever had interrupted her; but caught herself as she processed the question. "Uhh, pffff..." She squinted toward the horizon of time, face scrunched up to expose her teeth. "If we get the fires put out? Few years. Couple decades at the outside. Reckon it's more than enough time to jury rig something that'll keep reality propped up while we get in a construction crew to set up a new Big Bang, no problem."
The Axolotl whispered reassuringly to the Oracle, "A couple of decades to us is over a thousand of your people's generations."
"A couple of decades," VENDOR muttered, voice rough, a few stray moons rattling around behind THEIR product dispenser door. "This multiverse was built to last an eternity. To think it could be destabilized enough to collapse within a couple of decades, all because of one..." THEY fell silent. They could all feel the steady staring eye watching them from deep within Dimension Zero.
The cloud said, "And if he doesn't let us stop all the fires?"
She pursed her lips, brows knit tightly. "If the fires keep spreading and that triangle keeps destabilizing things, the whole thing could collapse in a week tops."
"That's still a few years for your people," the Axolotl told the Oracle optimistically.
She swatted his paw. "Aren't you powerful enough to, just—stop him? You're gods." They must have seemed undefeatable to her—living beings the size of mountains and vast world-moving machines and forces of nature. That was how the gods always looked to mortals.
But unfortunately, when you got right down to it, they weren't much more than weirdly big people.
VENDOR muttered, "Well, I don't have the authority to call in the kind of reinforcements that can take that thing down." (More cautious now that THEY realized this wasn't a threat THEY could effortlessly crush in THEIR gears, weren't THEY.)
The cloud said, "The Apocalyptic Threat Task Force can make that a call that in any situation that poses a credible threat to multiversal safety and security, but..." It asked the Axolotl and Time Giant, "Just how strong do you think he is?"
"Could be omnipotent," the Time Giant said. "Wouldn't be surprised."
The Axolotl reluctantly nodded in agreement. "He doesn't understand what he's doing yet, but he's already manipulating the fabric of reality with his bare hands."
VENDOR made a tiny noise like a malfunctioning motor at that.
Grimly, the cloud said, "I could put in a call to HQ. We have a few higher dimensional types on call. Creator gods and the like. They're probably the only ones who'd stand a chance against an omnipotent god that can make a whole universe do a barrel roll. But if we aren't sure we could win the fight, and fast..."
The assembled group of gods cast a nervous look at the gaping hole into Dimension Zero.
The triangle, smaller than one of the Axolotl's fingertips, stared back from the border. He solemnly spread his arms wide. "You wanna go? Come at me."
They did not want to go. They turned away.
"Bad idea," the Time Giant said. "If the laws of physics are unstable, even the strongest god wouldn't have an advantage. It'd be like putting the fastest sprinter in the multiverse on a racetrack without gravity. And since he's the one running the physics, he could practically hand himself a win."
"And on top of that, any fight down there risks knocking the multiverse down," the cloud said. "It's too dangerous. We can't risk attacking him."
"We'll just have to hope he doesn't attack us first," VENDOR muttered.
The Axolotl's stomach flipped. He knew something they didn't. "Actually, I... don't think he can."
All attention was on him. VENDOR said, "Please tell me you have some actual good news."
"I don't know." He wasn't sure whether it would make any difference. All he knew was that he felt like he was betraying the triangle. He lowered his voice to what for him passed as a whisper. "But, I think... I think his power is limited to the borders of his realm." As he said it, he knew he was telling the truth. Some beings got like that when they were old enough; they could just feel when something was right. "He can't impact anything that isn't touching his dimension. He's essentially harmless to the rest of the multiverse. The only real threat is... well." He gestured helplessly at the frothing chaos. "The fact that the dimension is like that."
Voice hushed, the cloud said slowly, "Hold on. So... he's trapped in the crawlspace beneath reality."
"No—he's trapped in the 'dream realm' he's built inside the crawlspace. He can drag the realm out with him, but... we saw what happens when he does that." They'd all heard how existence had howled in pain. They'd seen how even the triangle had been scared enough to stop.
"So we have no hope of fighting him in his bunker—but if we drag him across the threshold... the fight's over." THEY turned to the two cops THEY'd been leading around all day.
The crab and burning wheels tried very had to look like they hadn't noticed the conversation at all. 
VENDOR and the cloud exchanged a frustrated glance. Sarcastically, the cloud muttered, "Yeah. Easy."
The Axolotl said, "I'm not even sure we can drag him out of his bunker. I don't know if he won't leave, or physically can't leave—just that his power stops at his borders."
VENDOR sighed, "So we're back where we started."
The Time Giant smacked her mess of blueprints, making the other gods start. "No we aren't! If his influence can't spread outside his dimension, then I've got a fix." She held up a thick binder. "It's a fiddly chrono-construction technique to shore up brittle dimensions. It can work as a stopgap measure to stop him from destabilizing any more dimensions." She looked at VENDOR. "It'll make a lot of extra work for the urban planning committee."
VENDOR's lights flickered off. The Axolotl could see the numbers on THEIR digital display as THEY slowly counted to ten. Then THEY turned their lights back on and said, with an air of forced calm, "All right. I don't think there is any getting out of this without extra work. Tell me the idea."
"Right now, all our dimensions are connected adjacent to each other—corner to corner and edge to edge. It's simple that way. But, if we restructure the dimensions parallel to each other, we can use the pressure of the outside dimensions to press in on the crawlspace and keep its contents in place. It's gonna be a mess. Forget about the Dimension 1, Dimension 2, Dimension 3 system we have right now; by the end of this we're gonna have Dimension 143 and Dimension M and Dimension 6.5 and Dimension -17 and imaginary number dimensions and quadratic dimensions..." She shrugged helplessly. "But if we can't get this bozo out, it might be our only option."
"Parallel universes? It sounds ridiculous." VENDOR let out a low moan of pain, "We'll have to restructure the whole multiverse."
"Yup. Probably."
"Everything's so nice and tidy now. A perfectly arranged planned community. Nice, straight, gridlike dimensions..."
"Parallel dimensions do have some potential benefits over adjacent dimensions," the Time Giant offered comfortingly. "Easier interdimensional travel—"
VENDOR grumbled, "Oh, I know, I know, Municipalitron's been pushing to experiment with parallel dimensions for the past two hundred billion years. He won't shut up about how it would benefit mass transit."
The cloud said, "All I care about is the multiverse surviving long enough to worry about mass transit."
The time giant said, "The biggest downside is that once we've completely closed up the crawlspace, when that dimension he's set up inevitably collapses, there's no easy way to get back all that energy and dark matter. If we ever decide to rip open a rift big enough to drain it out, it could take trillions of years if we don't want the flood to destroy the receiving universe. We might never clear out the rubble. But on the other hand, if it's sealed up well enough, it won't matter if the ruins are left to rot."
"What about the hostages?" the Axolotl asked. "Won't that trap everyone inside?"
"We'll have to leave manhole covers and maintenance shafts, obviously. Until the fabric of reality's finished unraveling, we'll have a chance to get them out," the Time Giant said. "Even that 'Magister' can leave if he decides to surrender himself. Assuming he's willing to leave his construction project behind."
If he could leave it.
VENDOR let a heavy whoosh out THEIR vents. "Balls. Very well, submit your proposal to the committee. I'll vouch for it. But I won't like it." THEY muttered, "Municipalitron's never going to let me live this down."
The storm aimed its sunbeam at the Time Giant. "Can't start construction as long as he's still starting fires and picking fights, though—can we? Unless you can build new dimensions on top of an active inferno?"
"N—Hold on." She squinted toward the future to check. "Nope. Though once I get down a fireproof foundation, we won't need to worry about it anymore. Got a trick called timeline splitting: you reformat a dimension so that the timelines fork infinitely, any time a choice is made. If he tries to burn 'em, they split: one timeline he burned and one he didn't. He'll just add more timelines and thicken the foundation every time he tries to attack the neighbors."
Horrified, VENDOR said, "I've been trying to pass an ordinance to ban timeline splitting for an eon."
"Has it passed yet?" the storm asked.
"No!"
"Great. Then that's our plan," the storm said. "We just need somebody to talk him down long enough to put out the fires and get the fireproof foundation in place." Its sunbeam turned toward the Time Giant. "Maybe if someone explains the stakes to him—?"
She shook her head, expression flat. "I'm a civil engineer, not a hostage negotiator. If he didn't get it the first time I laid it out to him, he ain't gonna get it the second time."
VENDOR asked the cloud, "Isn't the Apocalyptic Threat Task Force trained in talking down apocalyptic threats?"
"Yes, but no," the storm cloud said.
"What does that mean! Just... go up to that thing"—THEY tilted toward Dimension Zero—"and keep him calm."
"Are you kidding? I'm not suicidal!"
"This is your job, you're an apoc cop!"
"Apoc agent!" It raised its voice, "And talking down threats is not my speciality! I was sent because we thought this was a structural issue, not an actively malevolent entity!"
"Hey!" the triangle shouted. "Who are you calling malevolent?! Hey! Hey! Look me in the eye and say that again, I'll kick your base! I'm the most benevolent entity you've ever met!"
They wordlessly avoided eye contact with the triangle, scooted another solar system farther away from Dimension Zero, and lowered their voices again. 
The storm cloud asked VENDOR, "Shouldn't this be your department? We're dealing with the possible genesis of a new god, and his first act was destroying a dimension and destabilizing reality. Sounds like politics to me."
Delicately, the Axolotl said, "I don't think THEY're the best choice."
"I'm certainly not. I handle the urban planning committee's budgeting," VENDOR said. "I deal with accountants, not terrorists! The only reason I'm here is to provide planets for those flat refugees, and I am sick of being at every humanitarian crisis in the multiverse just because I vend planets—"
The Axolotl had taken all of VENDOR that he could. He rounded on THEM, snarling, "Why are you even in politics, if it's not to help mortals? Is that not why you accepted the title of 'god'?" He flared his gills and his eyes glowed in rage. "Because it's why I did! I wish there was more I could do to help! And you, you can do more than anyone, and you're complaining about it?!"
VENDOR jerked back from the Axolotl. For a moment, the whole group was stunned silent. The Axolotl's eyes stopped glowing. He had to fight the urge to shrink back self-consciously from their staring. His Oracle patted his side comfortingly.
And then VENDOR's lights  brightened. "You know how to talk to mortals like that. This triangle is just like the omnicidal monsters you represent every day." THEIR camera whirred as THEY sized him up. "If you want to help more, then why don't you?"
Ah. The Axolotl paused to swallow his anger. 
He glanced down at his Oracle, who had been hiding in his shadow as she took notes and attempted to surreptitiously ogle the Time Giant. He said, "I think..."
She nodded. "I'll wake up." And then she faded out as her spirit sank back down to a lower plane.
The Axolotl tried to avoid looking at VENDOR—how could someone without a face look so smug?—and focused on the Time Giant. "What do you need me to get him to do?"
####
Biologically there was really no such thing as a god, in the same way that botanically there is really no such thing as a vegetable. Tomatoes are fruits; spinach is a leaf; carrots are roots; broccoli is an unfinished flower. The word "vegetable" just indicates the cultural role a plant performs in the kitchen.
The word "god" indicated the cultural role an entity performed in cosmology: a god was anything that people considered powerful enough to be worth worshiping.
A trillion trillion priests and philosophers and theologians and politicians had attempted to pin down a firm definition—but any definition was only ever valid to the worshipers who agreed it was right. The simple truth was that a being who had created a universe could be called a god, and a particularly impressive tree could be called a god, and a con artist who used clever stage magic to convince people he could teleport and raise the dead could be called a god, and there was nothing, absolutely nothing, to prove than any one of them "really" was or wasn't a god, no trait that universally separated the false gods from the true. If other gods thought you were a god, or if enough mortals worshiped you that the other gods had to bow to public pressure, that meant you were a god. 
Different beings honored with the title "god" handled it in different ways. Some, unsurprisingly, developed a god complex. Some picked up debilitating scrupulosity in an effort to be perfect enough to be worthy of their people's worship, and their people developed scrupulosity in an effort to live up to their god's perfect example, and so it went in a vicious cycle until somebody finally got therapy. Some printed their titles on the party invitation flyers they tossed out on busy streets. For the Axolotl's part, he thought it was a useful designation to help with networking, but mostly it was a pain that meant he was put up on a pedestal for doing his job.
The Axolotl was a god of justice. Not the god of justice, but one. He held dominion over an abstract concept; over millions and billions of years, his words and decisions slowly, inexorably altered the idea of "justice" on a multiversal scale. Mercy, retribution, punishment, rehabilitation, equity, equality, fairness, and righteousness were like multicolored clays he could twist, squish, sculpt, and blend in his wet little salamandrine grip, permanently altering what those ideas meant to the mortals they affected.
Which was to say: he was a lawyer.
He was also known as a god of rebirth. Which was to say: he specialized in afterlife law. Before going into law he'd only been a psychopomp, but after having to escort too many despairing souls to afterlives he felt were too severe for their sins, he'd decided he wanted a say in where he took his souls. For a while, he helped clients get their charges reduced so they were eligible for a higher-tier reincarnation, or got their purgatorial sentences reduced. Though for a long time he'd steered away from damnation cases. He didn't always win—and those ones were too depressing to lose.
And then he'd thought he should be doing more. It wasn't enough for him to help his clients get the best option available under the system to which they were subjected; he wanted to change the system. He'd started pursuing bigger cases.
Now, he had a reputation.
For the past few centuries, he'd been working on a damnation case. He was defending a supervillain who'd developed a weapon that could slice open the fabric of spacetime so severely it could rip clean into another dimension—a mortal who'd committed an interdimensional crime against reality. The villain had died in the jurisdiction of an afterlife that had legalized eternal damnation.
Case law had long established that, unless other arrangements had been made premortem, the dead were to be sent to—in order—the afterlife of their birth, their death, or their choice, provided that the afterlife in question accepted them; and that they would be judged and sentenced by that afterlife's laws.
But if this villain had been extradited to his home world, the heaviest sentence he could have faced was a thousand years purgatory with an option for early reincarnation for good behavior after a hundred years.
So the jurisdiction he'd died in had summoned up some bureaucratic red tape to dismiss his native afterlife's extradition request, and he'd been sentenced where he'd died. Crimes against reality were often handled differently from regular sins; and the gods of vengeance in the domain where he'd died would love to see the courts declare that the gods who'd brought down a criminal against reality could call dibs on punishing him, rather than hand him back to his motherland. They hoped they would get away with it just for lack of anyone protesting the move. After all, everyone involved would much prefer that a mortal wicked enough to damage spacetime and obliterate multiple populated planets receive eternal punishment.
Everyone involved except the Axolotl. 
Taking this case hadn't made him many friends. He didn't care; he had his principles. Let an interplanetary supervillain be dragged away to a foreign afterlife just so that he can be forced into damnation, and next it'll be a planetary dictator; let a dictator be dragged away, and next it'll be a murderer; and next it'll be a burglar; and next it'll be a jaywalker that a psychopomp has a personal grudge against. If the Axolotl could establish that even the most undeserving mortal imaginable still deserved the right to be sentenced in his home afterlife, then he could ensure that everyone less evil received the same right.
If he had anything to say about it, in two or three trillion years he'd see eternal punishment outlawed completely; but untilthen, he was not going to sit idly by and let this flagrant abuse of interdimensional law become the new meaning of justice! He would get that supervillain out of eternal damnation, personally escort him to his native afterlife, and see him reincarnated on his own home world; and mark his words, he would rain so much bureaucratic hell on the judges and psychopomps that had let this abuse of justice take place—he would wreak such vengeance upon the vengeance gods who had tried to claim his client—that no god would dare keep a soul from its rightful afterlife ever again, or he wasn't the Axolotl!
All of which was to say:
Yes, unfortunately. This triangle was like the omnicidal monsters he represented every day.
And so he was appointed hostage negotiator.
####
(Thanks for reading!! If the art lured you in and this is the first chapter you read, this is part 7 of a probably-9-part fic about the Axolotl in the immediate aftermath of the Euclidean Massacre. I'll be posting one chapter a week, Fridays 5pm CST, so stick around if you wanna watch the Axolotl almost fucking die.
It's ALSO chapter 61 Part Seven of an ongoing post-canon post-TBOB very-reluctantly-human Bill fic. So if you wanna read more of me writing Bill, check it out. If you're not sold on the idea of a human Bill fic, I've also got a one-shot about normal triangle Bill escaping the Theraprism if you wanna read that.
If this is NOT your first time here and you already knew all of the above: okay THIS is now probably the least cosmic-horrifying chapter of this arc. Which is a necessary interlude, because NEXT CHAPTER is the big climax woohoo!
Even if not much horrifying happens this chapter, I like the worldbuilding in it. The section on what being a god of justice means to the Axolotl was one of the first things I wrote for this arc.)
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stevieschrodinger · 1 day ago
Text
Part One Thirty
Couple of things - I've been going through it lately and just wanted to get this bit out. I do have more planned but I need a break after this. The Carpenters song referenced is 'all you get from love is a love song' and if you don't know it you can give it a listen and then you'll get the 'broken arm' joke.
They squish together into the phone booth, Steve hitting the numbers almost on reflex now, going through the motions of briefly speaking to Robin’s mom.
He angles the receiver so that Eddie can hear too, their cheeks practically touching, “Steve! Chrissy’s here-”
“Why?” Eddie cuts her off immediately, “not time to close the shop,” he almost sounds a little critical when he says it, making Steve smile.
“I know I know,” Chrissy says, “but he came back!”
“So we waited for him to leave, and we followed him,” Robin adds enthusiastically.
If Steve couldn’t hear for himself that they’re both at Robin’s place, and they’re both absolutely fine, he’d be panicking now, maybe he kind of is, because he’s sort of snippy when he says, “Robin what the fuck, it’s not safe, you two aren’t- you’re not Cagney and Lacy for fucks sake.”
“Steve it’s fine,” Chrissy tells him, “he went to Starcourt, so we went home and called Hopper right away.”
“Good,” Steve breathes a sigh of relief, “okay, so what now?”
“We don’t know,” Robin admits, “we’re just waiting to hear now. See what happens?”
“Okay we could...Eddie, you want to kill some time in town, and we can call again later?”
“Yeah” Eddie pulls back his sleeve to check his princess watch, “...lunch. And shopping?”
“Sure thing baby.”
Chrissy squeaks down the phone, “oh you’re both just too cute together.”
“Oh my god don’t encourage them.”
“Oh!” Chissy starts, “I met El and all the rest of the kids, isn’t she just, so cool? She made some pens float around!”
“El is the fewest bad kid. She’s quiet,” Eddie agrees, but Steve is absolutely certain Eddie’s warmed to the kids a lot over the last couple of months, so he knows Eddie doesn’t really mean it like that.
“Least,” Steve corrects softly, “she’s the least bad. Probably.”
“Best of a bad bunch?” Robin hazards.
“Maybe,” Eddie tells her, “we can come home soon?”
“Errrr…I mean, see what Hopper says, I guess? We might know later, but you guys shouldn’t come back today anyway, it’s a few hours drive, and you’ll need to pack up and everything, right?”
Steve frowns, as Eddie, very briefly, looks sad, “maybe tomorrow,” he says to Eddie more than the girls, “is that okay?”
“Yeah,” Eddie nods, “I...like the flower shop?”
“You miss it?”
“Yes, and Chrissy. Miss them. I know they’re not gone but...they’re not here.”
“Oh Eddie honey, I miss you too, okay? And when you get back you can come into work, there’s stuff to catch up on,” she whispers then, “Robin isn’t good with the flowers like you.”
“Hey! I’m trying my best here-” but she gives up, everyone else laughing over her.
The payphone starts to beep, “we’ll call later okay!”
Steve’s pretty sure Eddie’s jar will be empty again after today. He’s bought four more records, more Led Zeppelin, plus a Dio record because ‘Rainbow in the Dark’ was playing when they walked in and Eddie really liked it. Steve absolutely certain that the girl with a green Mohawk wearing a Dio shirt sealed the deal, but he's not going to tease Eddie about it.
Eddie comes out of the changing room of the second hand clothes store, showing Steve the jeans he’s trying on. He’s been making do all this time with Steve’s draw string sweats and jeans with a very cinched in belt, so it’s definitely time for Eddie to choose his own things but...Steve wasn’t expecting Eddie to choose anything quite so tight.
“Stevie? What do you think?”
Steve swallows thickly before he answers, he swears Eddie’s only getting away with wearing them because his dicks on the inside, the thing would get strangled otherwise, “you look really good Eds. You like those ones?”
“Yes. Black, like my tail. And look,” Eddie scratches at the ripped fabric, his knees on display, “see my knees. I like to see them, they’re new.”
Steve bites his lips briefly to suppress the chuckle, “you should definitely be proud of those knees, you did grow them yourself.”
Steve frowns at the sight of Eddie in a leather jacket; it’s so very far removed from everything he’s been wearing. It’s so different from all of Steve’s clothes, but Steve can’t deny he’s making it work. It definitely suits the look Eddie’s starting to cultivate. He’s very much leaning towards darker colors, and he was really pleased when he turned up a Led Zeppelin tee shirt out of a pile.
The difference between the Eddie that comes out of the dressing room and the Eddie that went in is startling, Steve’s pullovers and polos all tend to be lighter colors, so all the black is very different.
“You like it?”
“I mean, as long as you like it, sure, you’re the one who has to wear it. But yeah, yeah I do like it. You look good.”
Steve has to stand by while Eddie rummages across a tray of cheap jewellery, “they’ll turn your fingers green,” he warns vaguely. Eddie shrugs, probably not understanding what Steve means as he tries things on, he likes the shiny silver ones that definitely are not silver, “you’re such a magpie.”
Eddie chooses two chunky rings that are so cheap he will get change from his last five dollars, but he clearly likes how they look on his fingers; he doesn’t even take them off to pay for them. Steve knows he’s just here to hold the bags, but he doesn’t mind. Eddie’s worked hard for this money, he should spend it on the things he wants.
Steve meanders through the store, it’s mostly second hand furniture and ‘antiques’, but Steve figures that term is being used very, very loosely. As near as Steve can tell it mostly looks like house clearances and that sort of thing. He spends a little while at the glass cabinets, staring at all the little figurines. 'Dust gatherers,' his dad calls them. There’s some tiny little jade ones, big tall porcelain ones and everything in between.
He’s distracted away from them by the sound of twanging. Bad, uneven twanging on an acoustic guitar. Steve follows the sound, finding Eddie just fiddling with the strings, the guitar still lying on it’s back. It doesn’t have a case, and looks pretty beat to hell to Steve, covered in stickers and all scratched up, but Eddie is entertained by the noises, and he looks up, smiling, “you going to buy it?”
Eddie shakes his head, “not enough left.”
“How much are you short?”
Eddie checks his pocket, and then the little label hanging from the neck, “six dollars?” he hazards.
“Okay, well, I’ve got four left on me, so maybe you can haggle the guy down.”
“I’ll try,” Eddie grins big, taking the change from Steve.
They’ve dropped everything off at the car and, with nothing left to do to kill any more time, they head back to the phone and smush into the booth together.
“He wasn’t there when Hopper got there,” Robin tells them, and Steve sighs, disappointed, “but! El looked into my head real quick, and she says he’s called Doctor Owens. She knew who he was, and she says he’s...nice.”
“Nice,” Steve repeats, deadpan, “a man who facilitated experiments on little kids. Nice.”
“Well...I mean maybe as nice as he could be given the circumstances. I got the impression he never...he wasn’t cruel about it. If you know what I mean.”
“I guess,” Steve hazards, “Eddie?”
Next to him, Eddie’s kind of staring into space, frowning, “Owens. Yes. Remember that word, maybe?”
“Okay. Okay, so what are they doing now Robs?”
“Well, Hoppers keeping an eye out and he’s going to try the Motel right now, but if he’s not there he’s going to start doing drive bys of Starcourt and stuff, and hopefully he turns up,” Steve can hear in her voice that she's shrugging, “but Hopper says since no one else is asking any questions, he’s hopeful that it’s just this guy working alone, you know?”
“Yeah, yeah okay.”
Eddie listens to his new record while Steve makes dinner. He has his guitar over his lap, and occasionally plays a note or two. He understood the mechanics of it already, but Steve figures he must have seen someone with a guitar on TV at some point.
Steve’s absorbed in what he’s doing, and doesn’t notice at first that the twanging noises have stopped. The record ends, but it feels like it’s been a long time of quiet, and Steve looks over to find Eddie, expecting him to be flipping it.
He isn’t.
Steve turns off the stove, covering the two pots he’s been carefully nursing. Eddie isn’t in the cabin; Steve finds him on the dock. He’s just...standing there, in the near dark. Just...staring out across the lake.
“Eddie? You okay?”
Eddie looks around again, “heard something. Had to check it’s safe.”
“You could have said,” Steve comes up close, wrapping a hand around Eddie’s hip. Eddie turns in reflexively, looking for a quick, soft kiss, which Steve is happy to give.
“Think the trees look like The Upside Down.”
“Do you?” Steve looks around; all the trees have leaves on, they’re dense and alive and nothing like the dead twisted things that litter The Upside Down, “I don’t think they do.”
Wind moves through the trees, the susurration of leaves is kind of loud, “sounds like bats. Many many bats,” Eddie shifts closer, pressing himself against Steve.
“You okay?”
“I don’t...I think I don’t like it here.”
“Oh...well,” Steve makes a decision, “since they’re pretty sure it’s just the Owens guy, how about we go home tomorrow? I mean, you might not be able to go to work and stuff until they find him-”
“Yes. Home tomorrow.”
Steve looks around again, tries to see it through Eddie’s eyes. Tries to see what reminds him so much of The Upside Down. Maybe the panic attack in the shower knocked some stuff loose; Steve doesn’t know. Eddie’s been making do with strip washing from the bathroom sink the last couple of nights, and that’s been fine but not ideal. Eddie’s hair needs a wash.
“Okay, we’ll call when we go through town, okay, let them know?”
“Yes...take my book back.”
“You finished it?”
“Almost.”
“Lets go inside, I can finish dinner and you can tell me what it’s about?”
“So they’re...stealing treasure from a dragon?” Eddie nods, his mouth full of dinner. “Okay, fair enough.”
Eddie swallows, “I want to read The Lord of The Rings.”
“Okay, I’m sure we can get it at the library.”
“You promise dragons aren’t real?”
“Yup. Definitely not real, and there’s no hobbits or wizards or- or elves or any of that stuff. And magic isn’t real- well. That kind of magic isn’t real, at least,” Eddie frowns like the book committed a crime.
“But...dinosaurs. Dinosaurs were definitely real, you have those in your book?”
“Yes...dragons can fly though. And breathe fire.”
“Well...some dinosaurs could fly, and they were big like a dragon, some of them.”
“Really?” Eddie’s eyes go wide, “I thought from my book like...cow sized?”
“Hu uh,” Eddie excitement is actually palpable, “definitely a dinosaur book next, some of them were like...as tall as trees,” Steve doesn’t actually know, he was most definitely not a dinosaur kid, but he’s pretty sure at least some of them were tall like that.
“All the time, used to do this. When I had a tail,” Eddie’s voice is muffled where he’s bent over the kitchen sink.
“Yeah...I guess I did,” and it’s true, Steve was washing Eddie’s hair pretty much every other day when Eddie still had a tail. He feels the back of Eddie’s head almost reflexively at the memory, following the ghostly, barely there ridges with his fingers through the suds, “it’s getting so long again already.”
“Good. El said Max makes nice braids when it’s long enough.”
Steve snorts a laugh, “oh yeah? That’s going to look great, now eyes and mouth closed, I’m gonna’ rinse.”
Eddie has his head resting on Steve’s tummy while Steve plays with his hair, hand buried in his curls, massaging his scalp, “what you doing baby?”
“Hear.”
“Hear? Oh what, you’re listening?”
“Listening to Stevie’s inside.”
“Anything interesting?”
Eddie nods, his cheek dragging against Steve’s skin, “funny tummy noises. And bumping.”
“Bumping? Oh, beating, my heart right?”
“Yeah. Stevie, we can definitely go home tomorrow?”
“Sure thing babe, we can get packed up in the morning,” Steve yawns, “you want to go to sleep?”
“Maybe. There’s bad dreams here.”
Steve blinks his eyes open to look down, a weird shiver raising goosebumps on his arms, all the way down to where his hand is still buried in Eddie’s hair. Eddie didn’t have to put that quite so creepily. “I think it’s just...maybe it reminds you of things here, so your mind is kind playing tricks on you a little? There’s nothing bad here baby, I promise. What do you think?”
“The water reminds me of Barb.”
Steve frowns, “Barb? How do you know about Barb?” Under Steve’s hand, something crawls unpleasantly beneath Eddie’s skin.
Eddie shrugs, “Nancy told me you killed her.”
“Stevie!” Steve fights, briefly, confused. “Stevie love, it’s okay. Bad dream.”
Steve’s kind of sweaty and panting, but he quickly realizes that it’s Eddie whose holding him, so he quits moving, “Jesus Christ,” he breathes out slowly, trying to calm himself down, “I’m fine. Thanks. I’ll be okay in a minute.”
“You want to tell me? Here, water.” Steve takes the glass, sipping it carefully. He can feel the cool water go down, grounding him.
Steve has no desire whatsoever to talk about it, so he deflects, “what time is it?”
“Five?” Eddie leans over, checking his watch before putting it back, “half five.”
“I miss you saying five and a half, it was cute.”
“I can say five and a half,” Eddie takes the glass again before snuggling in.
“Did I wake you?”
“No. Already awake...bad dreams.”
“Fucking hell. We need to go home just so we can get a good nights sleep. What did you dream about?”
“You. Lost you, in the trees...we were here but...Upside Down trees? I tried and tried to find you. Could hear you, ‘help help,’ really scared.”
“Maybe it is this place,” Steve settles down again, pulling Eddie close, “weird that we’re both having bad dreams right?”
“I don’t like it.”
“No but...lets just rest a little, and then breakfast and we can get packed up, okay?”
“Okay, Stevie love.”
Eddie waits outside the phone booth, leaning against the car where it sits parked by the curb. Steve calls Family Video today, knowing that Robs should be at work, “hey Bird-”
“He got him! Hopper! He got the Owens guy!”
Steve feels himself relax, one less thing to worry about, “good. Good, we’re coming home.”
“Okay, Hopper does think it was just this guy. He was staying at the Motel, Hop had to wait around a bit, like proper stake out!! But he did get him. Said he couldn’t find any evidence of him like, working with other people, and El’s going to talk to him or something. Make sure. I’m not sure about that bit but-”
“Okay, okay, so where is he?”
“Hopper’s got him at the Motel. Probably like, tied up, do you think? Steve what if he’s like, working for the government though. Or or the Russians-”
Steve rubs his forehead, “Birdie, I know you do love some empty speculation-”
“I do!”
“But how about we wait until we actually like, know?”
“Spoil sport.”
They say goodbye and end the call, Steve offering the keys to Eddie, “want to do a little of the driving?”
Eddie grins big, clearly surprised and pleased by the offer, “yes I do!”
“Okay, careful though, you don’t know the roads like at home. And no getting distracted by the cows.”
Eddie ‘moos’ really loudly in response, once in the drivers seat, he pauses for a second, “should have bought tapes,” he laments.
“Well, unlucky, I’m thinking some Carpenters.”
“Nooooo,” Eddie laughs.
“Shut up, I know you love it. Now sing to me about how the best love songs are written with a broken arm.”
“I think that’s what she said! Broken heart makes no sense,” Eddie grumbles, Steve still laughing.
Eddie had caved after two hours of driving, but still, considering all Eddie had done before today is short journeys around Hawkins, Steve figures he did really well in an unfamiliar place, and he told Eddie so. Eddie has turned into a surprisingly careful driver, Steve doesn’t know if it’s his consideration for Steve’s beloved car, or if it’s Steve’s constant reminders that Eddie cannot afford to draw any attention to himself. Either way, Steve feels safe in the passenger seat.
“Okay, I think I should take you home to unpack, then I can figure out how to call Hop and see if I can go over.”
Steve’s not even surprised by Eddie’s response, “both go, you mean.”
“Eddie...I’m not sure it’s-”
“Stevie,” Eddie manages to make it a complete sentence.
“Look...I’m not going to take your choice away, okay, if you want to come, then that’s fine. But...you get I just want you to be safe, right? And I feel like the less this guy knows, the better?”
“I know...I know,” Eddie has his thinking face on, when he’s wrestling with how to say something. It’s been happening a lot less lately, but this concept must be more complicated. “The people had me in a tank. They...hurt me. I was scared. Now...Owens is in the tank? He has to...he has to say why. To me. And sorry.”
“I...is that what you want? For him to apologize? To...explain?”
“Apologize and explain. Yes. And...I will not hurt him. I’m Eddie. I’m not people.”
Steve shouldn’t be surprised, not really. He feels like he knows Eddie inside and out, but his natural compassion, his...kind of innate goodness still blind sides Steve sometimes. Steve had vaguely considered that a realistic outcome of this may be that he’s helping Hopper hide a body. Maybe. It was kind of an abstract thought he hadn’t wanted to poke too hard but, realistically, they’re talking about a man who experimented on children, on Eddie.
Steve is clearly no where near as forgiving.
Hopper meets them both outside the room. Steve has no idea what to expect, really. The rasp of Hopper stubble is loud when he scrubs at his face, “El thinks this Owens guy is legit. He already knows Eddie has,” Hopper gestures vaguely, “human parts.”
“How?”
“After Starcourt happened, he went back to poke about, and he saw you both. More importantly Eddie, driving a car,” Hopper’s words are full of accusation, like ‘see I knew him driving would be trouble.’
Eddie waves a hand dismissively, “I can go in?”
Hopper sighs, but Steve isn’t going to fight Eddie on this. He knows what he wants, and he’s so fucking smart. Steve’s sure Eddie doesn’t fully appreciate the risks, not since he doesn’t get fully grasp how stuff like actual governments work but...yeah. It’s Eddie’s life, but Steve still takes his hand. If they’re doing it, they’re doing it together.
Hopper just sighs and rolls his eyes.
Steve figured that, somehow, this guy would just...look evil. He doesn’t. He looks like a harmless old dude, sitting on the edge of a sagging motel mattress, looking over some papers. He cannot disguise his interest when Eddie walks in.
He’s not restrained or anything, he’s just...there. There are books and pens and folders and shit spread out on the opposite bed, like he’s been working.
“Owens?” Eddie checks.
“Yes. Yes hello it is...so wonderful to see you again. And to hear you speak! How good is your understanding-”
“I think we have questions, first,” Steve cuts him off sharply. He doesn’t seem threatening, just...genuinely pleased to see Eddie. The guy has to be up to something, Steve can’t shake the suspicious thought that the guy must be one hell of an actor.
“Yes. Of course. I have everything, all of my notes, from Starcourt, so any questions you have I will do my best to answer.”
“Okay, where the fuck do you get off experimenting on people?” Steve’s pretty sure his voice is reasonably calm. He’s vaguely aware of Hopper coming in behind them, pulling up a folding chair he must have gotten from his truck.
Owens closes his eyes briefly, before addressing Eddie,“yes. Of course. I am so so sorry for what you were put through but..the work we were doing. I was not fully aware of just how intelligent you were. Are. I didn’t at first fully comprehend that we were even dealing with a sentient specimen-”
“He’s not a specimen, he’s a person,” Steve snaps.
“I am very smart,” Eddie adds helpfully.
“Yes. Yes you are. And the transformation you have undergone is nothing short of miraculous, if I could take some bloods-”
“Absolutely the fuck not. What were you doing with the Russians?”
“Oh,” Owens seems genuinely confused by the question, like it hadn’t really occurred to him, “when the original labs were closed, the funding ended. Of course we were aware of the mirror dimension-”
Eddie looks at Steve, “he means The Upside Down.”
“-Oh, is that what you call it? Well, it was deemed for too dangerous, and not worth the expense, to continue, not after such a catastrophic failure. The Russians however didn’t seem to have any such issues and were interested in opening a gate; I had to go where I could to continue my work, you understand. And then they brought you back with them. What should I call you?”
“Eddie. I’m Eddie.”
“And you’re working? And you’ve learned to speak and drive a car...your ability to process new information is staggering. The physical changes, did they just happen? What was the-”
“Stop, just stop. What do you want with him? Why have you been asking around?”
“Stevie,” Eddie says quietly, pulling Steve back a little by his shirt. And yeah, okay, Steve may have taken a step forward.
“I just...want to continue my studies. Eddie’s change...the differences in his make up, his body’s ability to rewrite itself – it could lead to...well, significant discoveries. The data I could gather, imagine the effect on modern medicine, what we might achieve – the potential to help people could be immeasurable.”
“We could...help people?” Eddie echoes.
“Yes, well. We could try. Like I said I would have to do some tests to understand-”
“No,” Steve crosses his arms over his chest.
Next to him, Eddie asks quietly, “what tests?”
“Just...take some blood, for now. Just try to understand how this happened and...what the changes mean on a genetic level.”
“Look, Eddie, you do not have to do a single thing for this guy, okay? This could be dangerous, they could come and take you away again-”
“I would most certainly like to avoid just that,” Owens interjects.
“Oh yeah, right. Sell me on that then,” Steve snaps at him.
“Look,” Owens spreads his hands, he hasn’t moved from his seat on the bed, “I’m the only one who knows about this. The little contact I’ve had with my previous...employers implies that they’re done with the site, they’ve scrubbed the remains of Starcourt, it’s already being filled in. I only know you even exist because I just happened to see you. No one knows Eddie is alive right now, that he didn’t die in his tank, except for me. If I tell anyone they will take him, potentially back to Russia, and I’ll loose access to him. If I inform the American team, I’ll have to admit that I was working for the Russians, which would cause some obvious fall out for me. This way I can just…continue with my work.”
Steve rubs his eyes. It sounds...legit. He guesses. Logical. “Hopper?”
“El says he’s on the level.”
“Jesus fuck,” Steve huffs, walking in a circle.
“Stevie? I want to help people.”
“I know you do baby.”
“Oh, are you two in a relationship-”
Steve finds himself leaning over to point in Owens face, “do not.”
“Okay, okay,” Owens spreads his hands, “look, I think you need to see this from the other side too. What if Eddie gets sick? What are you going to do, take him to the doctor? And what about El, and her powers? What if something comes up with her? I’m more than happy to-”
“I’m sure you are,” Steve stops him, “and you agree with that Hop?”
“I mean, he’s got a point. Don’t think we could take Eddie to a regular doctor, and El was fine with letting him look her over. I mean I maybe don’t agree with the shit he’s been involved in but...I don’t currently have a lot of choice with getting my kids brain powers looked at.”
“I don’t like it.”
Hopper shrugs, “nope.”
“This is such a bad plan.”
“Not as bad as-”
“Don’t you dare-” Steve starts.
“Letting some fish guy-”
“Hopper!” Eddie adds, affronted.
“Bite your toes off.”
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ameliathornromance · 3 days ago
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“(Y/N)!” Your Orc called out into the darkness.
It had been hours since you’d left the camp. You’d said you had needed some fresh air, after spending all day running back and forth from one tent to the next.
This wasn’t your fault, the whole camp had been forced to stay in their tents due to a bad outbreak of food poisoning. Maybe something wasn’t cooked right, or maybe someone had brought in a diseased animal carcass unknowingly and fed it to the whole camp on accident, no one really knows how it began.
Nor did it really matter as about seventy percent of the Orcs had fallen ill, and now had to remain bed bound until they got better.
One of the lucky few who hadn’t suffered, was you.
Your boyfriend found it sweet how you so quickly jumped to help the other Orcs around the camp. “Well, it’s the least I can do,” you had told him when he voiced this to you. “It’s not like I do anything else around the camp other than help in the kitchens and prepare supplies for hunting runs.”
“That, is already a lot my love.” He’d pointed out.
“Well I can’t just sit around and watch other Orcs suffer!”
Your boyfriend had too, been unaffected by whatever had happened to the rest of the camp – given that he was a rare kind of Orc, who was a vegetarian – and thus solidified the theory that there was something wrong with the meat that had been brought in.
The remaining Orcs standing had tossed out all the remaining protein that they had hunted over the past few weeks and burned it all to prevent anyone else from consuming it.
Apart from the smell of burning meat, the other sickly smells that came along with food poisoning was suffocating.
Your Orc awed at your ability to remain so composed in the face of such gross things like vomit.
But obviously, there would come a breaking point. And today, it had.
You had stalked back into your shared tent, thrown aside your stained apron that you’d used as a guard against any unwanted bodily fluids and stalked out of the tent.
“Where are you going?!” He called out to you, watching you storm to the camp entrance.
“I’m going for a walk! It’s the third time I’ve been sick on today!”
“Ah…” As you vanished into the surrounding woods, your Orc thought that he too, would want to go on a long walk after being thrown up on that many times.
So, for the rest of the day, he took over your duties as nurse.
A lot of the sick Orcs complained about his bedside manner, saying that he wasn’t nearly as nice as you were, but he ignored them and did the best he could to tend to their needs, bring them water to drink – forced those who refused it and demanded something stronger – and do anything else that the camp needed doing in absence of hands.
But, as the day had dragged on, your Orc began to wonder where you had gone. Of course, you needed some time alone. It can’t be nice being around grumpy sick Orcs all day… but usually, after about an hour you’d come back and help out however you could.
By the time the night had settled in, your Orc decided to go out and look for you.
A few other Orcs who had tended to the main duties at camp told your boyfriend that they’d keep an eye on the others while he went to go and look for you. “Oh and look for Ruak too,” he was asked by one of the main hunting Orcs. “He went out to go and find herbs to soothe the others stomach cramps, but he hasn’t come back yet either.”
“Got it.” And so, here he was now. In the middle of the forest that surrounded the camp, looking for an Orc and a human woman.
Torch in hand, your Orc held it high above his head, squinting into the forest. “(Y/N)!? Can you hear me!?” His voice rang through the forest, with no response coming back to him. Cupping his hand around his mouth, he bellowed. “Ruak!?”
Your Orc placed a hand on his hip and sighed, annoyed. Where could you have gone? You never wandered far from the camp, you knew it wasn’t safe to do so.
A creeping dread washed over your boyfriend as he continued through the woods. There was always a possibility that a someone of a less forgiving nature had come by and done something to you, and possibly Ruak too.
He shook his head, no, there’s no way that would happen. Both of you were good at making quick escapes and-
“Ouch! That hurt!”
“Sorry, it’ll only hurt a little bit longer. You can do this (Y/N).”
Your Orc stopped in his tracks, listening out for more of an indication where your voices could be coming from.
“But it really hurts, I don’t think I can cope with it!” Your voice sounded pained, afraid.
“You’ll be fine. You’ve been tending to sick Orcs all day, you can cope with this too.” Ruak’s voice assured.
Your Orc’s heart sank. He took off in the direction where your voices were coming from. Heart thundering in his ears, he turned past some shrubbery, and there you two were.
Your ankle was propped up by Ruak, who was twisting your ankle around, like he was massaging it. Your back was pressed against a tree, where you were gripped onto it’s exposed roots.
Fury rushed through him. Dropping the torch, your Orc ran over and tackled Ruak away from you. “What the hell are you doing?!” He shouted at him.
“Hey!” You shouted, “he didn’t do anything!”
Your Orc, who had now put Ruak in a headlock, looked at you with a glare. “Oh? So, what was that just happening then, huh?!”
“I sprained my ankle.” You deadpanned. “I was worried I’d done something worse to it, when Ruak came by and offered to help me splint it before he took me back to camp.”
“What?” He released Ruak from the headlock, the other Orc collapsing to the ground and gasping for air.
Beside you, was an open leather first aid kit, a bandage laid unravelled and ready to use, a stick beside it.
“O-Oh,” heat flushed your boyfriends face as Ruak finally regained his breath and massaged his throat. “Sorry, Ruak.”
Ruak shot him a glare, but shook his head. “No, it’s fine. If I saw the same thing without context, I’d probably snap the Orc’s neck who dared lay a hand on my partner.” The other Orc rolled his head side to side, “remind me never to piss you off. Now you’re here, care to help me with this?”
Sheepishly, your boyfriend nodded. “Y-Yeah, sure.”
After carefully supporting your ankle and determining that your injury wasn’t anything worse than a sprain, Ruak went ahead to the camp to prepare a place for you to rest, while your Orc had scooped you up into a bridal carry.
“You didn’t seriously think we were going sleep together, did you?” You asked, frowning at your boyfriend.
He looked away from you, not making eye contact. “I dunno… today’s been a lot.” Between trying to make Orcs stay hydrated and having to fight them to eat and help them keep their food down, his mind was a mess.
There was a fear in the back of his mind that maybe you’d just had enough of taking care of the camp and wanted to blow off some steam and since he was busy taking care of the sick Orcs…
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to assume that.” He said, looking at you.
“You know I’d never do something to you like that, right?” You reassured him. “Ever.”
Your Orc nodded, pressing his forehead to yours. “I know, and I’d never do that to you either.”
Guilt washed over him. How could he assume you’d do that to him? You’re one of the most conscientious people he’s ever met.
After a moments silence, you spoke again, “you know this means you’re also going to have to take care of the others now, right? Since my ankles, y’know, sprained.”
Your Orc let out a groan. “Oh God, please no.”
You chuckled, “think of it as penance for thinking I’d cheat on you.”
Sighing, he nodded, “yeah, alright. I’m sorry again.”
“I know. C’mon let’s get back and see how the others are doing.”
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webslingingslasher · 2 days ago
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ohhhh j new fear unlocked for everyone
yk how being on your period and leaking in someone’s bed isn’t ideal? esp if they aren’t ur bf? screw the bed - it got on HIM and he’s not my bf. he’s a cuddler in his sleep and pulled me in and I just saw🤠🤠🤠 nightmare. I’m building up the courage to wake him up rn lol. it’s not that deep but this is pretty horrific bc it’s only my second time staying over and we are very much Not Dating
*cleaning out my drafts - this is an old one!
there have been several times in your life when you've said 'this is the worst thing to ever happen to me.' today takes the cake and you'll never have the urge to say those words again.
period blood? a nuisance to deal with.
period blood on your partner? humbling.
period blood on your hookup? downright mortifying and coma inducing.
it'll only get worse the longer you wait. counting to ten, you take a deep breath and gently shake peter awake. he whines and swats you away, you feel terrible that you're about to ruin his sleep.
'peter, i got my period and i leaked.'
peter sucks in air, the words are registering and he's blinking awake while looking you over. 'in my bed?' you nod timidly, feeling awful about it.
'and on you.' it's a defeated whisper, you turn to the side so you don't see his reaction. you feel the blankets lift up, a two second pause before peter settles back into bed.
'i don't have anything to plug you up so you gotta figure it out.' you stare down at his face, he's going back to sleep?
'did you hear me? i leaked.'
peter sighs, he's more upset that you woke him up than being doused in your monthly. 'yeah, like a quarter's worth. it's a dot, trouble. wrap it up and come back to bed.'
'but i got it on you.'
peter huffs before picking his head up and opening an eye to look at you. 'what do you want me to say? do you want me to be mad? you're the only girl in my bed so if you wanna stain the sheets that's on you.'
you stop a smile from forming, 'are you suggesting i did this to mark my territory?'
'it wouldn't surprise me. it also explains the leg.' he tugs his comforter up to his chin while letting sleep coat over him. 'are you cauterized yet?'
'yeah, i stashed some stuff here.' peter searches around for your hand under the blanket by little taps. 'good, cuddle with me.' you almost squeak when he drags you into his side, always impressed by his casual strength.
'are you sure -' you're halfway through your question when peter takes initiative and hitches your knee over his hips. 'i refuse to answer stupid questions before eight am.'
'i'm sorry i stained your sheets.'
peter's dimple pops out when he smiles. 'bloody nice reminder you were here.' you poke it, he peeks an eye open and acts like he's about to bite your finger. 'you're proud of that one?'
'o-h i'm positive.' you gag before hiding in his side and groaning. 'you're not allowed to make dad jokes before eight am.'
'oh yeah? well you're not allowed to bleed... just kidding, trouble. you can expel your moon cycle anywhere you want, what's mine is yours.'
'wow. you're so romantic.'
'only for you.'
he says it like a joke but you think peter would be a whole lot less cool if it was with anyone else. 'thank you for not making me feel bad. you're kind of the best.'
'i know.' you narrow your eyes at him, as if he can sense it, peter nudges his hand under your shirt to splay his hand across your lower back. his warm palm eases tension you weren't aware of yet. 'i was about to say don't get a big head, but your hand feels very nice so i'll refrain.'
'want me to rub your tummy?' you lean forward to press your nose against his cheek. 'say tummy again. it's cute.'
'no.' 
you whine at his refusal, 'i'm shedding my uterus, be nice to me.' peter smiles at your pout. 'tummy.' hiding your face in his neck you let out a quiet squeal. 'i like when you're cringy with me, it makes me feel like you like me.'
you can see how fast his mind is working, he's hesitating on what he's about to say. peter decides to throw you a bone, you're still embarrassed from giving him a wake up call.
'my baby is feeling so icky, isn't she? her tummy and back hurts and she is being so brave.' you nod softly, he's spot on.
'so icky.'
'so brave.'
'say tummy again.'
peter takes a deep breath, 'you're on thin ice, trouble.'
'just one more time. please?' you plead with him and follow it up with a yawn, his hold and heat is making you drowsy. 'if you tell anyone that i asked to rub your tummy or that i said tummy this many times, you'll never hear me say tummy again, deal?'
your eyes seal shut, his warmth is going nowhere. 'deal.' 
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wannaeatramyeon · 2 days ago
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Meeting Olly Wang for the First Time: Influence
G/N. Sort of soft. I did it anon!! Masterlists
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In hindsight you could have been considered a bad influence except you felt bad for him. You like to think that you showed Olly Wang there was more to life than studying, there are some things that can't be taught through textbooks.
You taught him how to live, you gave him room to breathe.
But sometimes, when the nights are too silent and your brain is too loud, when you miss him so much it hurts, you would think that it was all your fault. You set him on this path.
It's stupid, of course. Your minor risk-taking and vices are nothing compared to what has happened since.
Still, it eats away at you.
.
.
It's entirely by chance that you meet.
You're not particularly studious, but empty pockets and a meagre allowance accompanied with bad weather means your options are limited.
In the library, tucked away in the corner is a boy.
Trying his best to read and study yet annoying teenagers continue to heckle him. Throwing balled up pieces of paper and calling out derisive comments.
"Fuck off," you snap, feeling kind hearted today and storming over. You drag one of them away by the hair.
"Hey! Get off-" He tries to wiggle out of your grasp.
"Leave him alone, assholes," you snarl, shoving him away.
The commotion is finally enough to draw the attention of the staff.
The teens are shooed out, throwing angry daggers your way.
"You're welcome by the way," You tell the boy in the corner and you think he mutters something about being able to take them on himself.
Narrowing your eyes, you yank his ear, "What did you just say?"
When he doesn't react, you let go. Huh?
He doesn't feel pain, he tells you, or to be honest, anything. And then when you continue glaring at him thinking that that's bullshit, he introduces himself as Olly Wang.
.
.
The first time he ditches class, as a middle-schooler, is with you. Just two kids wandering the streets of Gangdong. You, used to skipping the occasional days and class, and embracing freedom, while Olly fidgets next you.
His mouth, usually stretched too wide in a grin, is pulled down at the corners today. Tense eyes behind glasses anxiously flickers from side to side.
"You think your parents are going to catch you?" You tease, slinging an arm around his shoulders.
"No." Olly doesn't sound convinced and you sigh.
"So what do you want to do?"
"Me?" he asks, blinking owlishly as if that's the first time someone has ever asked him that question.
You shrug off his weird response. "We can go the park. Shopping. Not that I have any money. Arcade-"
"Arcade!" he pipes up, then cowering and furtively glancing around him in case his parents are actually around.
Nevertheless, he spends hours and hours by your side; fighting each other, killing zombies, and racing cars. The sound of 8-bit music and bright flashing lights soon drown out his fears.
That day, Olly smiles genuinely along with you.
.
.
You first hear about Eli Jang a few weeks later.
Apparently he's fallen in with a new group of friends and this guy is the coolest person he has ever seen.
He's an orphan, he does whatever he want.
"Ok," you deadpan to each fact about this Eli Jang, growing more bored by the second.
Olly, oblivious to your reaction, continues fawning over him.
.
.
"Here, try it,"
You only offered the cigarette to stop him talking about Eli Jang. You've lost count of the times you've rolled your eyes.
Olly pauses, torn between wanting to impress you and not wanting to inhale the nasty smoke.
He gives in when he sees the playful glint in your eyes. His finger brushes yours as you pass it to him, and he places his lips where yours were just mere seconds ago.
"ACK!"
You giggle to yourself watching Olly hacking and sputtering.
You reach out to ruffle his hair once he calms and he peeks at you feeling his throat and cheeks burn.
.
.
"Why do you want to be like Eli?" you side-eye Olly, interrupting his ranting.
"I-" Olly starts, and then finds he can't say the words in your presence. He thinks Eli is the only one that makes him feel something but-
Deep down, when he's with you, he's not sure that's entirely true.
You misread his pause for something else.
You shrug, "I like you as you are."
.
.
"Want some?" you ask, shaking the bottle of soju at him.
Olly bites his lip, "Eli wouldn't-"
"Ugh!" You cut in rudely. "I've never met the guy and I feel like I know everything about him. Will you shut up about Eli?"
"But Eli-"
"I said shut up," you pull him by his stupid collar and yank his stupid lips to yours.
You consider blaming your actions on the alcohol even though you've barely taken a sip.
Olly stares at you, dazed, but there's a fire in his eyes.
"Ok." He agrees, then adds as he adjusts his glasses. "Only if you'll do that again."
You raise your eyebrows at his audacity. At this strange boy who was tucked away in the corner of the library.
"I thought you said you couldn't feel anything?"
Olly gives you a grin, different from his trademark open-mouthed one. It's almost a smirk. His gaze meets yours, determined and unwavering.
"I think I might have felt something then."
You lean in, at the same time as he does, meeting him halfway and kissing him again.
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handweavers · 2 days ago
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the truth is you can survive almost anything, including the things that make your organs feel like they're hemorrhaging or trying to mutiny through your throat. you reach a point where a lot of things stop bothering you because they don't matter, and trying to communicate with people who have not reached that point feels like living in different universes. multiple times a day my brain walks me through vivid films in which every member of my family dies and my home burns down and i can't find food anywhere and i'm entirely alone in the whole world and i experience the grief and terror as though they are happening to me in reality because my body is convinced they are happening even if i mentally know they aren't. you get used to it and learn how to do things like shower daily and eat meals and dress yourself and be kind to people anyway. some days i can work myself up to sitting at the loom or my work table and do something productive with this grief. i feel preternaturally prepared for multiple life ending disasters daily. most things that actually happen to me on a daily basis are not so bad thankfully and i'm very grateful for that. i can't find the thing i wanted at the store or someone says something unkind and i don't really feel anything at all about it. i feel like i should but my heart's not in it. nobody i love died today so it was a pretty good day all things considered
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insanewaykathy · 15 hours ago
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The first point is that for Janeway the problem wasn't having sex with Chakotay, the problem was having feelings for him. She was afraid to be impartial, she was afraid of suffering if something happened to him… of course she would suffer anyway because she loved him as a friend, and romantically (no one can tell me otherwise), but let's be realistic, it's usually harder to make any decision about someone you're romantically involved with.
Regarding the "Janeway can't have sex with her first officer" view, that view is exclusively Kate's, and I don't blame her. Although I really wanted to see them meet at the end, as if after the Admiral came back to take them home, they could have some time inside the ship before actually returning and having a night of love… with sex, with affection, with complicity, with love… because that would reach all the women who have been through toxic relationships with the following message: "They were responsible officers, she would give her life for the crew, he would give his life for her… and they waited for each other because their love was greater than time, and they had sex because they love each other and sex is a good thing!" But instead, the fear was of passing the message to what they considered to be the target audience, that is, MEN from 20 to 40 years old… and what would these men understand? "Look, I knew that at some point she would have sex with him!" If you are a man and you are reading this, I will not apologize to you, stay, and I invite you to just read it without saying "not every man". The problem in the 90s was sexism, and making J/C happen was too much for men to accept. But today we have overcome that. We know that Voyager's largest audience is women. We know that a large part of Progidy's audience is J/Cers. And we know that the couple has matured enough to give us something bigger than subtle hints with double meanings. J/C is the healthiest couple I have ever met, and we need that.
And about Kate being beautiful, sexy and hot, she was! Jeri too, but Jeri was the standard blonde. And the problem that these men have of preferring to see Jeri on TV (the supermodel type with a perfect body) wearing tight clothes, honestly reminds me of bad lovers. Okay, you don't look for hot girls on TV if you already have one by your side 🤣 I'm not saying that someone can't prefer Jeri to Kate, there are tastes and tastes… but doing it just because she is blonder, thinner, taller and has more curves is deceiving yourself, because most real women are more like Kate than Jeri. They are both beautiful, talented and incredible women. But Jeri deserved to be desired and acclaimed for much more than just her physical beauty and standard.
Kate Mulgrew on the way Janeway looks at Seven of Nine: "And I mean, honestly, if you remember Janeway looking at her boots and traveling up the body, I remember that. . . . So to be honest with you, for the first season that I worked with her, I was just staring at her bosoms."
Here's the whole segment:
In the fifth season, an actress was brought onto Star Trek: Voyager by the name of Jeri Ryan, who played the character of Seven of Nine, and she was absolutely stunning.
And she represented sex. I mean, it was absolutely crystal clear. And I mean, honestly, if you remember Janeway looking at her boots and traveling up the body, I remember that.
Now, I was of two minds, 'cause there's nobody in the history of television series who doesn't want their series to be successful. So I understand the need for sex.
But I had hoped against hope that I could bring it in as Janeway without it. I didn't.
I mean, I went to them in the first season and said, "I'm not having sex. I'm not saying, 'Red alert: into my ready room, Chakotay, let's go, let's go, let's go.' I'm not doing that. I have a complement of 165, I've got to get them home, and what? The captain's shtupping again?" You know? And it makes no sense at all.
So Seven of Nine appears, and she's half-human, and she's half-Borg, and she's [makes noise while waving her hands in an hourglass figure]. Right? So to be honest with you, for the first season that I worked with her, I was just staring at her bosoms. Her remarkable figure.
And then I understood that they wanted it to be a mother-daughter thing, but my daughter doesn't look like that. My daughter looks like a beautiful human being. It was a thing of bringing the male demographic. And it was very successful. They certainly liked to watch Seven of Nine, and I don't blame them. Men like that, don't you? Don't you?
—ubookstore, "University Book Store Presents Kate Mulgrew," YouTube, May 31, 2019, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4X2cverYupQ.
The question begins around 51:32.
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dissapointu · 2 days ago
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Arcane characters throwing a birthday party for the reader who has a bad memory and forgot his own birthday 😝
((my memory is rubbish, I can forget things I'm going to say/do In the same second , casual conversations, details and commitments 😔 planners are my best friends)
Happy birthday again 🥳
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BABE. FIRST OF ALL.your faves would 1000000% throw you the most extra, heartfelt birthday party of all time because you deserve to feel loved and celebrated—memory or not.
So here’s how they’d handle it when you’re out here vibing, completely forgetting it’s your special day, and they’re like “Oh no, not on my watch.”
————————————————————————-
Jinx
Jinx is giving CHAOTIC ENERGY for this party. She’s not even subtle about it.
• You’d probably walk in and see her messing with some dangerous contraption, and she’d be like, “SURPRISE! You forgot your birthday, but I didn’t!”
• The party is WILD—explosions (small ones, probably), neon lights, spray-painted “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” signs, and cupcakes she may or may not have dropped at least once.
• She’s dragging you into every game and activity, yelling stuff like, “You don’t get to forget your own birthday, dummy! That’s what I’m here for!”
• By the end of the night, she’s probably passed out on the couch, holding a balloon, mumbling about how you’re “the best ever.”
Vi
Vi’s the type to keep it lowkey cool but still make it super special.
• She’d notice you forgot your own birthday and go, “Really? Guess I gotta take matters into my own hands.”
• She’d gather all your favorite people, decorate with some string lights and snacks, and surprise you like, “Told you I’d always have your back, didn’t I?”
• She’s keeping an eye on you all night, making sure you’re actually enjoying yourself and not overthinking anything.
• Before the night’s over, she’s pulling you aside for a quiet moment like, “Next time you forget your birthday, I’m just gonna tattoo it on your forehead.”
Sevika
Sevika pretends she doesn’t care, but she’s planning this whole thing in SECRET.
• She’s got a killer poker face, so when you’re like, “Wait, is today my birthday?” she’s just smirking like, “Guess you’ll find out.”
• The party is simple but PERFECT—her version of “lowkey” is making sure everything you love is there: your favorite food, drinks, and music.
• She acts all casual about it during the party, but at some point, she hands you a gift and says, “Don’t forget who made this happen.”
Silco
Silco would be so extra but act like it’s no big deal.
• He notices you forgot your birthday and immediately starts plotting. He’s like, “How does one forget their own existence? I’ll have to fix this.”
• The party is elegant AF—dim lighting, fancy food, and everything planned down to the smallest detail.
• He’s not a big “party” guy, but he’d be there in the corner, sipping his drink, watching you enjoy yourself, and thinking, “Yes, this is satisfactory.”
• At the end of the night, he’d come over and say something soft like, “Don’t forget your worth. I won’t.”
Vander
Vander would be the dad friend who makes your birthday feel like home.
• He’d figure out you forgot and immediately start pulling everyone together to plan something. He’s like, “We can’t let them go another year without feeling special.”
• The party would be warm and cozy—lots of laughter, good food, and a cake he baked himself (even if it’s a little lopsided).
• He’d give you a big hug at some point and say, “You’ve got a lot of people who care about you, even if you forget sometimes.”
• It’s the kind of party that leaves you feeling like you belong.
Ekko
Ekko would turn your forgotten birthday into an unforgettable NIGHT.
• He’d act all chill about it but secretly plan the coolest party ever. Firelight lanterns? Check. Music and dancing? Check. The BEST vibes? Double check.
• When you’re like, “Wait, is this for my birthday?” he’d laugh and say, “Yeah, you kinda forgot, but don’t worry—I didn’t.”
• He’d spend the whole night hyping you up, making sure you know how important you are to him and everyone else.
• By the end of the night, he’s handing you a handmade gift like, “Something to help you remember next time.”
Jayce
Jayce is going ALL OUT. No chill whatsoever.
• He’d throw a huge surprise party, complete with decorations, balloons, and probably a cake with your face on it. “You forgot your birthday? Not on my watch!”
• He’d spend the entire night making sure you’re having fun, constantly checking in like, “You good? Need anything?”
• He’d make a toast at some point, hyping you up in front of everyone. “To the best person I know. Happy birthday, even if you forgot it!”
• You’d leave feeling like the most important person in the world.
Viktor
Viktor would make your birthday feel quietly magical.
• He’d notice you forgot and gently remind you by planning a thoughtful little surprise. “I didn’t forget, so you don’t have to.”
• The party would be small and intimate, with everything tailored to your preferences. Soft lighting, good conversation, and maybe even a little tinkering if you’re into it.
• He’d give you a heartfelt gift, saying something like, “I know your memory gets the best of you, but you’re unforgettable to me.”
Caitlyn
Caitlyn would be the QUEEN of thoughtful birthday surprises.
• She’d find out you forgot your birthday and immediately start planning something sweet and meaningful.
• The party would be elegant but not over-the-top—just enough to make you feel special. She’d definitely include all your favorite things.
• At some point, she’d pull you aside and say, “You might forget your birthday, but I’ll always remember. You’re worth celebrating.”
Mel Medarda
Mel would throw the most glamorous birthday party you’ve ever seen.
• She’d notice you forgot and smile to herself like, “Looks like I’ll have to step in.”
• The party would be GORGEOUS—fancy decor, delicious food, and a vibe that screams “luxury.”
• She’d take a moment to toast to you, saying something poetic like, “To the person who deserves more than they remember to ask for.”
Ambessa Medarda
Ambessa would be direct but thoughtful.
• When she realizes you forgot your birthday, she’d be like, “How do you forget something like that? Never mind—I’ve got it handled.”
• The party would be practical but deeply meaningful—everything chosen with care to make sure you feel appreciated.
• She’d tell you at the end, “Don’t let yourself forget how much you mean to the people around you. We won’t let you.”
Heimerdinger
Heimerdinger would LOVE throwing you a surprise birthday party.
• He’d go all out with quirky decorations, fun activities, and maybe even a little invention to commemorate the day.
• “Ah, you forgot your birthday? No worries—I remembered for you!”
• The whole night would be filled with laughter and warmth, and he’d make sure you know just how much you’re appreciated.
Salo
Salo would be quiet but so sincere.
• He’d notice you forgot your birthday and take it upon himself to plan a small but meaningful celebration.
• The party would be simple but full of heart—just the right mix of people, good food, and a little reminder of how much you’re loved.
Scar
Scar would be CHAOTICALLY AMAZING.
• He’d be the one yelling, “YOU FORGOT YOUR BIRTHDAY? HOW???” while running around setting up decorations.
• The party would be loud, fun, and full of energy. He’d make sure you’re smiling the entire time, yelling stuff like, “This is YOUR day! Own it!”
Maddie Nolen
Maddie would be super sweet and thoughtful.
• She’d notice you forgot your birthday and plan something small but so full of love.
• She’d quietly make sure you’re comfortable and enjoying yourself, saying, “You might forget things sometimes, but I’ll never forget how special you are.”
Lest
Lest would be so kind and gentle about it.
• She’d realize you forgot and immediately start planning a little surprise to make you smile.
• The party would feel magical, like a fairytale, with every detail chosen just for you.
• She’d tell you at some point, “Even if your memory fails you, you have me to remind you.”
120 notes · View notes
loulovingho · 2 days ago
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Here to stop you ✋
I lied. ANYWAY.
Okay, but how does it start? Do they hook up after a close call, high on adrenaline? Is Deacon fighting with Annie one night and Rocker’s there to comfort him? Is Deacon immediately attracted to him when they first meet and hates himself for it and is cold and distant until Rocker wears him down and asks him what his problem is?? Sooo much to think about 😩
OKAY FINE! It's actually a myriad of things. Deacon kinda feels like his life is crashing down on him. He and Annie have been getting into nonstop fights lately. Nothing he does or says is right. It's not all her fault, because he's been taking endless overtime too. Any free time he has he's spending with the kids but not really with her and she's frustrated. On top of that, they've had one bad call after another lately. Informants that turned on them, loss of civilians, endless hostage situations. And today he screwed up. Something he said caused a situation to escalate and he got his ass handed to him by both Hondo and Hicks. It was deserved, he owned up to it, but it still feels like everything is falling apart. Then he's in the locker room, and everyone else has already gone home (or so he thinks) and he gets a text from Annie that says, 'don't bother coming home tonight, it's not like you're ever here anyway.'
That's when Rocker walks in. He asks Deacon what's up and Deacon kinda shrugs it off, says it's nothing. Rocker sits down beside him anyway, says he heard what happened today and he thinks Hicks and Hondo were a little too harsh on him. Deacon disagrees, but says it's not just that. He doesn't really have a place to sleep tonight. He's nearing a mental breakdown, rubs his palms over his eyes to wipe the tears away, and Rocker's hand is on his back. It's innocent, just soothing circles but God it's so calming. And it's been so damn long since someone has taken care of him in any way.
Rocker says hey, why don't you come stay at my place? He's got two rooms! And something about that makes Deacon break down more, until he's kinda sobbing and Rocker is basically holding him in his arms. And maybe Rocker can be a little sarcastic and a little bitchy but he's not a complete asshole. He knows when someone needs help.
Also, listen, Deacon isn't blind. Rocker has always been fucking gorgeous, but some men are just hot. It doesn't mean anything. Except when Deacon looks up and Rocker is staring down at him and suddenly they're both breathing heavily and then their lips are brushing together. Deacon's surprised by the fact that he's the one who deepens the kiss, he doesn't back away from it. He brings a hand to the back of Rocker's neck and pulls him in close and they kiss and kiss until they're breathless. When Rocker pulls away, he asks again, more of a deep whisper this time, "Stay at my place tonight?"
And Deacon just nods and says, "Okay."
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bluenerdtastemaker · 21 hours ago
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Hidden Hearts in Milan.
Streamer!Yuki Tsunoda x Pierre Gasly | 1.1K
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Since there are some people asking for the streamer yukierre fic, I do as you all command. 😎
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From 2024, Yuki Tsunoda was no longer just a streamer—he is a phenomenon. From Apex Legends to Minecraft Bedwars, Yuki’s fiery cursing and boyish charm had built a global fanbase that tuned in religiously to his streams. Known for his competitive gameplay and sharp tongue, his audience adored how quickly his anger melted into infectious laughter.  
His rise to fame began in 2020 with a chaotic, meme-worthy stream where he tried, and hilariously failed, to bake a birthday cake for his roommate, Liam Lawson. Yuki’s complete lack of culinary skill and Liam’s sarcastic commentary made for an iconic duo. Though sadly since Yuki moved to Milan, they both haven't stream together much since their schedules never collide.
But Yuki had a secret, a secret he kept carefully hidden from his viewers.  
Away from the neon glow of his gaming setup, Yuki was in a relationship with Pierre Gasly, an Alpine F1 driver. The two had met years ago through a mutual friend (ehem Liam Lawson ehem), and their connection had blossomed into something neither had expected. Pierre adored Yuki’s playful spirit, and Yuki loved Pierre’s quiet devotion. Still, they agreed to keep their love private, not wanting Yuki’s streaming career to be overshadowed by public speculation—though if the reveal time comes, they make it their way.
--
The first crack in their carefully constructed secrecy happened during one of Yuki’s nightly streams.  
"Okay, chat, we're grinding today," Yuki said, adjusting his headset. The soft hum of Apex Legends’ lobby music played in the background as he squinted at his monitor. "No distractions, no rage—" He paused, already losing his composure as an enemy team ambushed him within the first five minutes. "What the f—! No way! This guy is hacking!"  
user1: yuki rage arc already 💀  
user2: stream just started and he’s LOSING IT 😭  
user3: this is why we’re here  
In the middle of his tirade, the screen behind him flickered as a shadow passed. Yuki didn’t notice, but the chat did.  
user4: uh, who’s in his apartment?  
user5: wait is someone there??  
user6: YUKI EXPLAIN RIGHT NOW  
Yuki glanced over his shoulder, catching the faintest glimpse of Pierre’s wrist—his signature watch glinting under the light. Without missing a beat, Yuki turned back to the camera. "Oh, just the delivery guy," he said with an awkward laugh, his voice a pitch higher than usual. "Forgot I ordered food."  
user7: DELIVERY GUY???  
user8: bro has the SAME WATCH AS A CELEBRITY 💀  
user9: Yuki caught in 4k  
--
The speculation only grew when paparazzi snapped a blurry photo of Pierre walking in Milan with a shorter figure by his side. Both wore masks and hats, but fans immediately dissected the image, pointing out the unmistakable height difference and Pierre’s distinct posture.
Things escalated further when Yuki streamed himself attempting to cook pasta for Pierre’s birthday. He burned the sauce, spilling half of it on the counter while cursing up a storm.  
"Guys, this is fine. Totally fine. I meant to do that," he said, laughing nervously. But every few minutes, he glanced off-camera, giggling at something—or someone.  
user1: WHY IS HE GIGGLING STOP  
user2: he’s so bad at this but so cute 😭  
user3: is someone there?? prince charming cameo incoming??  
--
The final nail in the coffin came during a late-night Apex Legends stream. Yuki was mid-match, aggressively clicking his mouse when Pierre’s voice, smooth and unmistakably French, drifted into the mic.  
"Mon cœur, viens dormir."  
Yuki froze. The chat exploded.  
user1: WAS THAT FRENCH????  
user2: "MY HEART COME SLEEP"??? WHO IS THIS MAN  
user3: YUKI EXPLAIN YOURSELF  
Eyes wide, Yuki scrambled to end the stream. "Uh—my neighbors! Loud again. Bye!" He shut off his camera and immediately tweeted: "Uh, I forgot my neighbors are loud lol."  
Nobody bought it.  
--
The big reveal, however, came unexpectedly during Monza week.  
The warm glow of the Milanese sunset filtered through Yuki Tsunoda’s apartment window, spilling golden hues over the neatly organized chaos of his streaming setup. His trademark pink gaming chair contrasted sharply with the sleek black-and-neon aesthetics of his desk. The chat was already buzzing as his stream countdown ticked down to zero.
user1: LET’S GO YUKI STREAM!!
user2: yuki rage timeee
Yuki’s face appeared on screen, cheeks flushed from the summer heat. "Hi, guys! We're playing Apex tonight, but first…" He spun in his chair, dramatically pointing his video cam at Liam Lawson, who was seated on the couch behind him, slurping a bowl of noodles. "Look who finally decided to show up!"
The chat erupted.
user1: LIAMMMM!!!
user2: omg OG ROOMMATES ARE BACK
user3: it’s chaotic time 😭
Liam waved with a noodle dangling from his chopsticks. “Don’t get too excited. I’m just here for free food.”
Yuki rolled his eyes. "Rude! Anyway, let’s get into the game."
Two hours later, after a string of chaotic gaming wins, heartbreaking losses, and several Yuki outbursts that could wake the neighbors, he leaned back in his chair with a groan. “Alright, one more game, and I’m logging off for real. Liam, stop looking at me like you’re my babysitter.”
“I’m not,” Liam said, raising his hands defensively. Then, mid-protest, he froze. His eyes widened slightly, his expression morphing from mild annoyance to sheer exasperation as he stared at something just behind Yuki.
The chat noticed immediately, because of course they did.
user4: WHY DOES LIAM LOOK LIKE HE SAW A GHOST
user5: WHAT’S BEHIND YUKI?!
user6: I SWEAR IF THIS TURNS INTO A HORROR STREAM…
But Yuki? Completely clueless, as always. The boy had the observational skills of a brick wall. And this, dear viewers, was why his friends never left him unsupervised. He dove straight into a story like nothing was wrong. “So, anyway, last week, I went home to Japan, and my mom made this incredible sushi platter—like, you have no idea. It was so good—Liam, are you even listening?”
“Uh, sure,” Liam muttered, subtly sliding his chair back like he was preparing for impact. His eyes darted to the camera, his face clearly saying: This. This is why I don’t show up on these streams. I can’t deal with this.
The chat lost their collective minds.
user7: LIAM. BLINK TWICE IF YOU NEED HELP.
user8: IT’S BEHIND YOU. I’M NOT JOKING.
user9: I CAN’T TELL IF THIS IS FUNNY OR TERRIFYING.
Still blissfully unaware, Yuki rambled on about his mom’s sushi skills, throwing in a dramatic description of the perfectly cut sashimi. Meanwhile, a familiar figure in a black T-shirt and sweatpants had appeared in the doorway behind him. Pierre Gasly, smirking like a mischievous kid with a secret, began tiptoeing into the room with all the subtlety of a wrecking ball.
The chat exploded.
user10: NO WAY IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS
user11: PIERRE GASLY ENTERS THE CHAT
user12: SCREAMING. CRYING. THROWING UP.
Liam, now fully resigned to his fate, glanced heavenward with an expression that screamed: Why am I here? What did I do to deserve this? He scooted his chair even further away, shooting the camera a look that practically said, And this is why I avoid this house.
Pierre crept closer, moving with exaggerated stealth that was so over-the-top it belonged in a cartoon. Liam, clearly fed up, sighed dramatically. “Oh, Yuki…” he said, stepping aside as if to wash his hands of the situation.
“Huh?” Yuki blinked and finally turned his head, mid-sentence. “What’s going—AHHHH!” His words turned into a shriek as Pierre swooped in and planted a quick, smug kiss on his cheek before bolting from the room like a man who had just robbed a bank.
The world stopped. Yuki sat frozen, his brain clearly blue-screening. His face turned bright red—no, scratch that, cherry red. He looked like someone had dunked him in a vat of tomato juice. It wasn’t just his cheeks, either. His entire face, the tips of his ears, even his neck—all red.
Meanwhile, Liam dissolved into laughter so loud it probably woke the neighbors. “Oh my god,” he wheezed, doubling over as he slapped the desk. “I told you, Yuki. I told you this would happen one day.”
“PIERRE GASLY!” Yuki finally screamed, throwing his hands in the air as if that would summon his chaos-goblin boyfriend back into the room. “Why are you like this?!”
The chat erupted into pure chaos.
user4: I’M DYING. I CAN’T.
user5: CHERRY YUKI IS MY NEW FAVORITE THING.
user6: SOMEONE MAKE THIS A GIF IMMEDIATELY.
Pierre’s mischievous laughter echoed faintly in the background as he made his escape. Yuki, still malfunctioning, buried his face in his hands. “Liam, why didn’t you say anything?!”
Liam, now leaning back in his chair like he’d just witnessed history, snorted. “What was I supposed to say? ‘Hey, Yuki, your boyfriend’s sneaking up on you mid-stream’? Like you’d notice.”
The chat had no mercy.
user7: LIAM IS THE REAL MVP.
user8: CHERRY YUKI VS. CHAOS PIERRE, WHO WINS?
user9: ANSWER: ALL OF US.
Yuki groaned, mumbling something about banning Pierre from his gaming room forever. Liam, still cackling, shot the camera one last exasperated look as if to say, And this is why I’m always the responsible one.
Somewhere off-camera, Pierre was definitely grinning, probably already planning his next ambush. Yuki sighed dramatically. “I hate you all,” he muttered, face still burning.
The chat didn’t believe him for a second.
Yuki, now in his defend-less glory, stared at the camera, wide-eyed and speechless, as Liam, laughing hysterically, grabbed his bowl of noodles and made a hasty retreat. “Welp, I think that’s my cue to leave,” Liam said, smirking.
Yuki buried his face in his hands, muttering, "I’m gonna kill him. I’m actually gonna kill him." Without another word, he ended the stream, leaving the internet in hysterics.  
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lostintransist · 2 days ago
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This song inspired a whole fic I don't have the time to write. But here is the blurb I threw at @backseatsoldier and @scaredyspooks
Background Johnny has low self esteem and accepts whatever affection he can from a friend bitch who takes advantage of that, shoving him in boyfriend situations emotionally for far to long. His best friend, you, has been pinning for him so long you have started to give up hope.
When the bitch moves to a city far away and you see her give Johnny a goodbye kiss that you don't realize is such. You turn on a heel and walk away, ignorning Johnny's calls and texts for the next few days.
Johnny thinks it unusual but it is about time for your period to start and you tend to be a bit wonky until the blood starts flowing. He brushes it off until a random man on base asks about his girlfriend.
"My what?"
"You're girlfriend sir, the woman on your home screen? She is your girlfriend right? I've seen her at some of the parties hanging out with you. Always has hearts in her eyes when she's around."
"Do you love me?" "Johnny I can't talk about this right now," she pushes on the door. It catches on his boot. "Please, I-I need," Johnny swallows down the fears crawling up his throat, "Do you love me?"
The dam breaks.
"I have loved you for a long time," your jaw quivers as you stare into his eyes, more familiar than your own.
"Oh thank god," he rushes forward, pulling you into a hug. One arm wraps around your ribs while the other grips into your hair, pushing your head into his shoulder. He kicks the front door shut. "I thought I would be to late," his voice breaks on the last word.
"What do you mean? You want Shannon?" Your fingers burrow into the back his shirt.
"I did. She represented everything I thought I deserved."
You try to pull back. Johnny isn't to much taller than you but the mucsle he maintains for his job robs you of the ability to flee from his words.
"What happened then? Why are you here?" You bite the words out in the space you could create between his chest and your face.
"Someone asked me today if I had broken up with my girlfriend. I was confused until they said the woman on my home screen, the one I am always gushing about. That is when I realized that he meant you."
That makes you pause in your efforts to escape. You were his home screen? Looking up at him Johnny shifts his hand from your hair to caress your face, thumb sweeping the leftover tears from your cheek.
"How long have I been your lock screen?" You whisper.
"Years," he whispers back.
The tears start up again.
"Why?" You can't force your words any louder than a whipser.
"There was a challenge a few Christmases back, to change your home screen to a photo of something that brings a smile to your face every time you see it. The last photo I had taken had been you. I've updated the photo a few times but it's been you since."
"Why did you never say anything?" The words hurt your throat as they leave.
"How could I tell one of the most important people in my life that I love her but I am a bad man who has done unspeakable things and don't deserve time or love from her? Why would I set myself up to be rightfully refused? For you to scoff at my affections?"
It's your turn to caress his face. He loosens his arms enough to allow you to touch him, but not enough to step back.
"You don't get to make that choice for me Johnny. And I don't like the version of me that lives in your head if you thought I would ever scoff at you."
He recoils, eyes slamming shut and chest caving in as if he took a bullet to the chest. Feckin' hell, she was right. It had to be him that didn't think he deserved anything resembling love though you had been peppering him with it for years.
You give him five breaths to deal with the emotional revelation before you are squishing his cheeks into his teeth, causing his lips to pop out.
"I would like to sit down and talk about this instead of being held hostage in my entryway. Would you like something to drink while we talk Johnny?"
You give him the softest smile he had ever seen, the gentlest crinkles forming around your eyes.
"Aye love, I think I need a drink." He presses a kiss to your forehead. "Can I hold your hand while we talk?"
"I would love that."
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lolashifts · 1 day ago
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SHIFTING ISN'T SPECIAL
please bare with me on this one bc it might be a bit longer than i expected (and excuse my very bad title-naming skills 😭)
in this essay i will try to put down in words exactly what i realised today as i started my first day into reprogramming my mind, something that i’m doing while following reya singh’s method. what is that?
shifting IS easy.
yes, i know everybody says it, but it’s the truth and i’m not telling you this as someone who shifts regularly to her drs, because i don’t (yet!). however, it did just click in my mind why people always say it and mean it. and i feel incredibly stupid for not understanding it waaay earlier than just now, 4 years into my journey.
now, let me walk you through the thought process behind this.
in reya’s 4-day method for reprogramming your mind, she instructs to write a list of your beliefs and non-beliefs. this may sound really silly and kinda useless at first - believe me, i woke up this morning thinking “what exactly am i supposed to do after that?” - but there’s a valid reason for it, which is to help you delete from your mind the idea that shifting is like a superpower that’s simply not for everyone and very hard to reach, when that is not the case at all!
in my own beliefs list, i’ve written “i am capable of shifting” right in between “i can speak english”, “i can write and read” and “i can eat --” (and some other things like “i can’t eat gluten”, bc i have celiac disease, “i can dream”, we all do! and “i can lucid dream”). you see where i’m going with this? i’m putting shifting in the same category as things we all normally do, that we sometimes don’t even think about doing since they’re such a natural activity. to this list i could add “i can breathe”, because we do it automatically, without even realising unless we focus on it. the same can be said for drinking or eating really, if you’re angry or thirsty you just go and get whatever pleases you the most and not dwell on it.
in the non-beliefs list, i’ve written obvious things like santa and the easter bunny (which isn’t common here in italy tbf but yeah) and sentences like “i can’t swim”, “i can’t draw”, “i can’t eat strawberries” and in between them also “i don’t fear shifting”. here, the point is that all these listed beliefs are stuff i know for a fact to be false: i can swim perfectly, i am an artist and i love strawberries + i’m not allergic to them or anything. by placing shifting there, i'm stating that just like i KNOW i can swim or whatever, i also KNOW i'm not scared of shifting.
you’re literally gaslighting your subconscious mind into believing what is real for a fact and what isn’t.
after writing down this list, which can be done on paper just like on your preferred device, i reread everything twice explaining to myself why i chose these things and why they are beliefs or not. that’s how i realised that shifting is easy. when people talk about it “clicking” they weren’t lying!
shifting isn’t special, this is what the list thing tries to prove you. it’s not special because, just like breathing and eating and reading, we do it subconsciously everyday. take your own first language: you speak it naturally without having to doubt it, and if you know a second language well enough like i know english for instance (my mother-tongue is italian) then you can even start talking to yourself and think in that language without having to search up translations.
what’s the difference with shifting then?
the difference is that shifting hasn’t been taught to us in the same way as a language has been, all throughout school. the same thing goes for reading and writing: we read and write naturally because we’ve been taught how to when we were young and it’s now engraved in our brains, just like with learning our first language, which is something we normally do thanks to our teachers, our families and the people around us, of course. this doesn’t happen with shifting in most cases, as we all know, which means it’s normal for it to take a bit to grasp as a concept and existing thing/activity. it’s natural, most of us human beings just don’t know about it, nor that we’re capable of doing it.
this is why i said it’s not special: just like breathing, everybody can do it (and so do you)!
going back to the non-beliefs list; i should also add that as a society we usually are taught what to believe in from a young age, and specifically what is believed to be a fantasy, a dream, or something real. as grown-ups, though, we have the right to believe in whatever we want, like shifting. as a realistic person, i understand that some people may have a hard time believing something as great as shifting could be true, because it genuinely doesn’t sound like it! so yes, this is also a factor that can and does make it harder for someone to trust their guts and expect to wake up somewhere that’s only fictional here.
shifting clicks for everybody at different times, but i hope this post will help some of you here understand it better and know that what more experienced shifters say always has a meaning, you just need the time to properly reflect on it to get it!
when it clicked for me a few hours ago i felt a huge rush of adrenaline and happiness bc yes, i can actually shift. i’m just overcomplicating it for no reason and so many of you are doing the same!
it’s okay though, we’ll all get there <3
(psa: if you saw any grammar mistakes or anything NO YOU DIDN'T and also please don't mind if this rant doesn't sound logical, i tried my best to explain myself like i wanted to 🥲)
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seitmai · 2 days ago
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You don’t know fully why playing in the rain was the best thing, but it was almost magical. Maybe it was just your best friend being with you. Maybe it was because the noise of the life of the rich stopped for a few minutes, and the water washed away all your etiquette. A time where the two of you could just be kids.
This just sounds so beautiful ���
“No,” you sigh. You love Carter. There are some adjustments that you’ll have to continue to get used to. Things have moved rapidly since the engagement. And he still hadn’t met the most important person in your life. The second most important — that just didn’t seem right. But Carter should be the first, right?
I would say yes, so questioning this is saying a lot 🫣
“You’re just leaving when we should be planning our wedding,” he looks down at your hand, twisting around the too big ring he placed on your finger. What was your sister thinking? Or did he ask? Too bad he didn’t ask Ransom what would be the perfect ring.
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Ransom pulls out the invite. His eyes move over the pristine and gaudy paper before he lets it fall back to the table. Looking into the distance with even more confusion than ever. “She’d never agree to get married at the Liberty,” Linda shrugs as she walks to the other end of the table. “She was going to get married under our tree.” “Ahh, you see the problem with that statement?” Ransom’s face turns up in disgust as he shakes his head. “‘Our tree’ and she’s marrying another man?”
Linda is telling Ransom the facts that he needed to hear
Did he know that you didn’t like the city? That you’d prefer to wear Ransom’s sweaters than fancy dresses? Did he know how many children you wanted to have? And how they would have unique names that he helped pick out? Did he know that you haven’t been the same since your mother passed? Did he know that you hate people, and use him as a shield against that? That you’re painfully shy, and get so exhausted after being around a crowd, and dance helped you? Did Carter even know that you hated your birthstone, so claimed smokey quartz as yours because of its protective qualities?
🥺🥺🥺
Ransom nods his head, still looking at you, and Linda already sees the too far gone look. “Here,” she pulls out a bag from the pharmacist, and lays it on his dresser. “Be careful. And I’m not condoning this, I just need you to be smart with this one.” “Nothing happened,” he’s barely audible. He wished his mother would just leave so he could soak you up. You were exhausted. “And I wasn’t born yesterday. That’s a Plan B pill. She needs to take it today. Gerald would not be happy with his baby girl winding up pregnant before she went to NYU. He wants to see her dance just like her mom,” Ransom rolls his eyes. Whispering for her to go. “I mean it, son.”
Haha I love Linda 😅
Nothing else matters in this world but the way Ransom is railing into you. The way he grunts with every thrust. The girls he’s probably fucked didn’t matter because there’s no way he fucks them the way he does you. There’s no way that he stares at their cunt like it could solve the world’s problems. And there’s no way that he feels about them the way he feels about you.
I'm sure he doesn't 🤭😮‍💨
“Watching myself leak out of someone for the first time. And yeah, that thing I did last night is cleaning you up. Never settle for a man that doesn’t want to give you the best aftercare, and cuddle afterwards,” oh. So he was still in the mindset of this was just practice amongst friends. You can be, too. He was right after all, a messy breakup wasn’t worth losing a friendship.
Damn that hurt
When The Rain Gathers..., Part 1
Summary: You thought that things with Ransom were simple. They were supposed to be. So why when you announce your marriage to Carter Baizen, and the now fast approaching wedding did things get so complicated? It was supposed to be you and Ransom versus the world. And now everyone wants to split the two of you apart. Ransom is your best friend, the man that had all your firsts. And even if people, and Carter are trying to pull you apart, you're not ready to say goodbye to the best thing in your life...
Pairings: Ransom Drysdale X Reader, Carter Baizen X Reader
Rating: explicit
Warnings:  explicit language, explicit sexual content, unprotected sex, mentions of loss of innocence, teasing, slight possessiveness, pining, creampie, Plan B, 18+ ONLY
Word Count: 5.6K
Series Masterlist
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You take in a full, deep inhale. Sensing and smelling the impending rain with a smile on your face. Ignoring the packed boxes behind you because your family home has always been the best place. Your bedroom and all the secret ways to get out of this castle that led you straight next door. You bite on your lip, trying to hide the grin that spreads on your face as you see his little boy bedroom. Memories flooding into your mind of the most amazing childhood with him.
You can see two kids, hand in hand, running away from these houses, and further into a fairytale world. A world where everything was so much simpler. A world of running to the highest hill in the area with the biggest and best climbing tree, and waiting. Watching as the sky got a bit darker. Time stops until that moment of the first drop of rain, and you and Ransom would chase each other. Dance. Sing at the top of your lungs. The rain creating an invisibility cloak around you.
You don’t know fully why playing in the rain was the best thing, but it was almost magical. Maybe it was just your best friend being with you. Maybe it was because the noise of the life of the rich stopped for a few minutes, and the water washed away all your etiquette. A time where the two of you could just be kids.
If the rain went on too long, the two of you would mosey on up to Harlan’s house. If the rain wasn’t long enough, you’d climb that giant oak tree, and sit and talk about the future. Your feet dangling off that perfect branch, while you held each other’s hands and talked about what you wanted in life.
“Sweetheart,” this is not where you saw yourself. His hands slide from your back all the way around your middle, connecting at the hands before he pulls you into his front. Carter rests his chin on your head as he looks at the distant house, and right into Ransom’s old bedroom. His parents have long since left that house. Now it was your parents’ turn, and everything feels like it’s changing.
“Are you about to finish here?” Conveniently Carter had a business call that stole his time away from going through your childhood memories or even plan your wedding. You aren’t sure if you were hearing things, but it sounded as if he scoffed at the many photos of you and Ransom in here before he hugged you.
“Yeah, and you’re about ready to fly out of town?”
“That would be part of the job,” he spins you around to look at him. His steel blue eyes raking over your face. “Are you angry?”
“No,” you sigh. You love Carter. There are some adjustments that you’ll have to continue to get used to. Things have moved rapidly since the engagement. And he still hadn’t met the most important person in your life. The second most important — that just didn’t seem right. But Carter should be the first, right?
“You’re just leaving when we should be planning our wedding,” he looks down at your hand, twisting around the too big ring he placed on your finger. What was your sister thinking? Or did he ask? Too bad he didn’t ask Ransom what would be the perfect ring. Ransom knew in detail, because he had the gall to ask during your first year in college, and you divulged everything that you wanted.
“You won’t get to be there for flowers, cake, and you won’t get to see the location site,” Carter releases an annoyed huff of air. “You’ve never even seen Harlan’s estate.”
“Why would we get married there?” This is one thing that annoyed you. He never understood the importance of Harlan’s property. “Under a tree that my fiancé dangled her little legs on, sitting next to a man that is in love with you.”
“No, he’s not. Ransom is my best friend,” Carter rolls his eyes, but maintains his smile. “He is,” you laugh because this conversation kept happening, and he had never met Ransom. He didn’t know the dynamic between the two of you. “It’s been a dream of mine to get married there.”
“We’ll talk about it some other time. I’m not heading to the airport with this as our last conversation,” if Carter said no, it wouldn’t matter anyways. He and his family would get what they wanted with the wedding, but at least you were getting him as a husband. But time is running out to find a location elsewhere.
“Then could you at least just think about it and consider it? Please? Pretty pretty please?” Carter chuckles, pulling you closer to him to give you a chaste kiss. “At least look at it?”
“Yes, I’ll consider it. You can show me in a FaceTime call, but I still deep down don’t think it’s our best option. I want everyone to feel comfortable, and I don’t think my family would feel that there. So can you respect that?” You smile, wiggling around, and nodding your head. Yes, you can respect that, as long as he will look at it, and give it a chance. A FaceTime won’t do the property justice. Harlan’s estate meant and still means so much to you. It’s the thing that never changes.
“Okay, tell me you love me,” his voice hits that beautiful tone that makes you want to jump into his arms.
“I love you, and do we have time…”
“No, we don’t. I wish. I could use the feeling of you on me before I traveled to work. Love you, and I’ll see you in a couple of weeks, okay?” He walks backwards, his hand starting to slide out of your own, and you nod. A couple of weeks wouldn’t be so bad. And then a week. And then a marriage. That was the bad part. No, the scary part. No…intimidating part.
You still didn’t understand why he and his mother felt the need to rush this marriage. What could possibly be done in that little amount of time? You guessed with enough money, anything is possible.
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Linda walks by her son at the table, stalling while she stares at him. Looking at nothing with his chin resting on his hands is all he ever does now. She walks back towards a table, and grabs up a beautifully intricate invitation and drops it on the table in front of her son. “Is this what’s bothering you?”
“What is this?” He looks at her confused. Flipping over the envelope he sees a broken wax seal with a giant B on it. “Mother?”
“I’m a bit confused on why you wouldn’t know. Open it.”
Ransom pulls out the invite. His eyes move over the pristine and gaudy paper before he lets it fall back to the table. Looking into the distance with even more confusion than ever. “She’d never agree to get married at the Liberty,” Linda shrugs as she walks to the other end of the table. “She was going to get married under our tree.”
“Ahh, you see the problem with that statement?” Ransom’s face turns up in disgust as he shakes his head. “‘Our tree’ and she’s marrying another man?”
“I figured she would always marry another man,” Linda rolls her eyes as she cuts her steak. “What?”
“Because you didn’t admit your true feelings to her.”
“She has never felt anything romantic towards me,” Ransom bitterly rolls his eyes as he stuffs a bite of food into his mouth.
“Who was her first kiss?” Ransom rolls his eyes again, taking a long drink of his beer. “Her first sexual encounter? Did you forget telling me the next evening that she begged you to have sex with her because she didn’t want to go to university as a virgin?”
“I — it wasn’t like that.”
“Okay,” Linda finishes, taking a bite of her food, but Ransom still stews. “You didn’t get an invitation?” He shakes his head no. His eyes glaring at the stupid piece of paper. It was too pure and white. It wasn’t you at all. Your sister, maybe, but not you. “You can be my plus one then. Also, she invited me to go shopping with her for the dress. Since her mother passed, she wants someone that knows her. She said she was calling you.”
“I just found out that she was engaged, and she mentioned going dress shopping, but…this date, it’s too soon. What the fuck is going on?” Linda clears her throat. “Don’t act like you don’t use profanity.”
“I am trying to do better. At least at the dinner table. And the Baizens don’t like long engagements,” Ransom groans. The Baizens. “Yeah, she’ll be moving to New York. She’ll look beautiful on his arm,” but will he play in the rain with you? Will he know that Ransom explored your virginal folds and you told him what you liked when it came to oral sex? Does Carter Francis Baizen III know that you liked your clit to be nipped?
Did he know that you didn’t like the city? That you’d prefer to wear Ransom’s sweaters than fancy dresses? Did he know how many children you wanted to have? And how they would have unique names that he helped pick out? Did he know that you haven’t been the same since your mother passed? Did he know that you hate people, and use him as a shield against that? That you’re painfully shy, and get so exhausted after being around a crowd, and dance helped you? Did Carter even know that you hated your birthstone, so claimed smokey quartz as yours because of its protective qualities?
He doubted Carter knows anything about you with how quickly this relationship has happened. Did you even know yourself anymore? “Did you give her your ring?”
Linda sighs, waiting on Ransom to look up at her before shaking her head. “It didn’t feel right.”
“Why?”
“He didn’t ask me for it, and I always thought I’d be giving it to you for when you got your head out of your ass and proposed to the best fucking thing that’s ever happened to you,” Ransom looks up at her pouting. “Oh don’t be daft, Ransom. Everyone knows you carry a torch for that girl. You’d marry her tomorrow if she asked. The problem is you wait on her to ask, and she’s never going to. Because she’s too stubborn to admit that she’s in love with you, too.”
Ransom takes a bite of his food, looking at his less than desirable plate. Everything his mom is saying is a lie. You didn’t have any romantic feelings for him. He knew it that next morning. He knew then he was madly in love with you, and you had just been using him as a teacher, and if that’s the only way he could have you in that way, he’d take it
Ransom peers over your spent body. How had it only been a few hours since he finally got to have you in the most intimate of ways. Watch you as your walls came tumbling down, and you gripped tight on more than just his dick. Your hands clung to him. Your eyes couldn’t look away. Capturing him in a way that literally stole his breath away.
And after he cleaned you up, all you wanted was his worn in sweater. It swallowed you whole, and then you put on the most beautiful delicate panties. And now you’re in his bed in a fetal position with your ass right at his crotch. Perfect in ways he didn’t even realize. You were made for him in more ways than he realized.
Sweetly whimpering, you gazed down at where the two of you connected as he pushed through your walls. Nothing but skin on skin, and your wide innocent eyes. Gasping and choking as he slid all the way home. Your squirming wasn’t enough to deter him. You begged, and pleaded for him to show you what the big deal was with sex, and even he couldn’t explain it, until he had you. And everything was otherworldly.
You were overwhelmed, and he couldn’t regulate his breathing. But now that you’re lying next to him blissed out with your post-coital glow, it all makes sense. You may not know it, but you were made for him. You wiggle closer to him, exposing those sinful innocent panties even more, and he places a hand on your hip. Sliding it up and down over your stomach.
He loved you, but now he is completely, utterly, and unapologetically in love with you. He doesn’t even take his eyes off you when the door slowly opens. Linda peeks through the room, and shakes her head sighing. “Your father and I are going to head out for the day. Be smart.”
Ransom nods his head, still looking at you, and Linda already sees the too far gone look. “Here,” she pulls out a bag from the pharmacist, and lays it on his dresser. “Be careful. And I’m not condoning this, I just need you to be smart with this one.”
“Nothing happened,” he’s barely audible. He wished his mother would just leave so he could soak you up. You were exhausted.
“And I wasn’t born yesterday. That’s a Plan B pill. She needs to take it today. Gerald would not be happy with his baby girl winding up pregnant before she went to NYU. He wants to see her dance just like her mom,” Ransom rolls his eyes. Whispering for her to go. “I mean it, son.”
He didn’t care what she thought, he cared what you thought. If you told him today that you didn’t want to go into the city, and didn’t want to strap on another pair of pointe shoes, and didn’t know how to tell your dad, he’d grab your hand, and flee to whatever country you wanted to go to.
He’s not sure how long he lays here, watching you. Kissing over your exposed shoulder. Rubbing over your skin, and maybe selfishing touching your heated mound. But it would never be long enough. This is what he wants for life. You yawn, stirring more before sitting up. Wincing as you do, and you turn back to find Ransom snickering.
“You’re not that big.”
“And just how many cocks have you seen, Belle?” You turn back to look at the door. You should leave soon. You’re surprised that Linda hadn’t come in to tell you it was time to go home. “Mom and dad left. You want to watch a movie?”
He rolls over to his back, and suddenly you feel so empty. So alone, and he’s right there. Things feel the same, and also so very different because whatever last night was you want to do it again. Want to feel him pushing into you, feel his heated breath on your skin, see the sweat beading around his hair. And you asked him so many questions last night. Embarrassing questions, but he answered earnestly.
“They’re gone?” Maybe you didn’t have to leave. You didn’t want to. What you wanted was to try sex again.
“Yeah, she left you a Plan B over there,” you hide your face as every part of you heats up. “It’s fine. She thinks we’ve been sleeping together since we were fifteen years old.”
“That doesn’t help,” you whine, still cowering behind your hands. You had a thought, and then it was squashed.
“At least now you don’t have to go buy one,” you had mentioned it, but Ransom still pulled out of you. You wanted to give all of Ransom your firsts, not sure of why, but you felt like he owned all of them; deserved all your firsts. “Just watch a movie with me. Cuddle with me, and forget we ever had sex, okay?”
“Fine,” you harrumph, twisting over to your other side and face Ransom. Just like normal you lay your head and a hand on his chest. He wraps an arm around you, pulling you closer, and you caress his bare stomach. Everything is just like normal.
Ransom starts a movie, and you can't focus on anything but him. One time wasn’t enough to learn anything. You were awkward, and stayed in one position. You didn’t try anything. Nothing. This whore of a man stayed having sex, while you waited on him to finish, and would sneak into your bedroom, or you’d sneak into his once you saw the car leave.
Clearly he is feeling the same thing, judging by the tent lifting the blanket, but he says nothing. Not a damn thing. Your body is so heated and wet, you’re ready to burst. You want to try other positions. You want to ride him — ride a dick. You want to fuck in doggy style. And you want to feel cum inside you, not on your stomach.
“Ran,” you make your voice so sweet, and he swats your ass. “Hugh!”
“No! I fucking feel your pussy throbbing on my thigh, and it’s making me hard. It’s my body’s response. Don’t ask!”
“But you’re hard, and you didn’t show me nearly enough,” he spanks your ass again, growling when you whimper. “The Plan B is right over there,” you say loudly, sitting up in bed. “You're hard, I’m wet, and I don’t know how to ride dick. Or how to do it doggy style.”
“Get on all fours. It’s not complicated,” why is he denying you what you want? You wrap your arms around yourself pouting, and he looks back to the movie. Ignoring you completely. He’d fuck girls all weekend, but is denying his best friend. It’s cruel. What do they do that make him not want to stop? They were more aggressive.
Smiling, you clamor over top of him, straddling him as you demand attention. “Look at me.”
“I am. There’s literally nothing else to look at.”
Reaching to the bottom hemline of his sweater, you pull it off you, “Look at me,” he’s looking everywhere but your face. Eyes glossing over as he stares at your tits. It feels nice sitting like this. There’s so much — heat. You need friction. Movement. Think of porn. How do they move on someone? You roll your hips, getting a loud groan from Ransom, so you keep going.
“Touch me,” you whimper, pulling up his hands to place on your tits. “Grope me. Show me what you do to those other girls.”
“No,” he responds flatly.
“Why?” Even though he says no, his hands knead your breasts. Pinching and pulling your nipples as he starts sitting up in the bed. His mouth moving closer to your tits.
“Because I didn’t care about them. They were just a wet hole,” you push him back down onto the bed, and he laughs.
“It’s not funny. What if someone treated me like that?” His face darkens as he looks up at you through his lashes. He is nearly baring his teeth like a wild dog. “What if some man at college uses me just for sex? I don’t want sex to be like that for me. I want it with someone I love.”
“It’s a dangerous game we’re playing,” you know it is. But if you have to play a game, it is going to be with Ransom.
“Just today. Until your parents get back. I want you to explore me. Teach me. Show me. Tell me how to know if a man wants my body or if he wants my heart,” Ransom sits up abruptly, moving his hands to cup your tits. Leaning forward his mouth circles around the sensitive bud, and his teeth scrape over the area, and you arch your back, pushing more into him.
“You’re too eager, and too sensitive. Minimum of five dates before anything moves past your mouths, not even oral. Clothes stay on,” you nod as he moves to the other nipple, and he sucks roughly. His tongue is able to circle around the peak before he pulls off with a pop.
“Remember you deserve the world. Don’t settle for some idiot at a bodega. You need someone that can give you a life of travel, wandering the world, and not having to worry about money. You nod again as he taps your leg, “Lift up a bit.”
Enthusiastically you completely get off him. Standing up on the floor where you shimmy out of your panties. Watching as he slides his boxers down, and you’re already bouncing back to the bed. “Easy. Don’t act like this for others. They’ll take advantage of you. Alright, straddle me, and grab the base of my cock.”
You listen, and start sinking over him. “No, guide me through your wetness. Use your body as lube,” you follow his directions, moving his head through your folds. “Now, find your hole, and slowly sink down. There ya go. Keep going, Belle. Keep taking me,” you sink, chest heaving as you feel him inside you. “Just like that, baby. Just like that. Take all of me. Don’t stop.”
You don’t. You keep taking all of him, until you’ve seated yourself back on top of him. “Now, just let your body adjust to me. Breathe in and out,” he holds up his hands, and you weave your fingers into his. Focusing on breathing, instead of the intense stretch he’s giving your body. You can feel him up to your ears. What is the normal size of a dick? Or is it everything else? Because he’s your Ransom.
“Belle,” his sickeningly sweet nickname for you rings up into your ears, and you can’t help but to roll your hips. “Fuck,” Ransom whispers as you start a slow pace of grinding on him. You look down at him smiling, “What?”
“This doesn’t feel the same,” this feels weaker than whatever he was doing to you last night.
“Because you’re on top, and there’s really not any thrusting,” you curl your nose as you look at him. “It feels amazing, sweetheart, but it’s just stimulating your clit.”
His hands grope the globs of your ass, and he lifts you up, only to let your cunt suck him back up, and a pleasured sigh releases from your mouth. “See. Try it. But just move to make it feel good. I’m enjoying the view of these little bitty titties. Maybe you can make them bounce.”
“You’re so gross.”
You awkwardly move over him a few times, glad it’s Ransom and not some random man that would realize how inexperienced you are. “Here,” he grabs your hands, placing them on his chest, “This anchors yourself, but also makes those tits look phenomenal. Arch your back, and pop your ass, and then contract it. Don’t overcomplicate the movement. And add pressure to me. It won’t hurt, I promise.”
“Pinky promise?”
He smiles, smacking your ass. His face lighting up when you yip, “I promise, now ride that dick,” you want to make a comment to him, but instead it comes out in a weird moan. “You like that, huh?”
“Like what?”
Ransom gets the most devious look on his face, and he grabs your hips, assisting a slow bounce on top of him. “You like someone talking dirty to you? Like hearing that your pussy is so fucking tight hugging my fat cock? Do you like knowing you look like a beautiful little slut, instead of a perfectly poised ballerina? Your training is better suited riding my cock like you own it.”
Your legs tremble with his words. You feel that you’re killing Ransom with how much pressure you have on his chest, but still he talks too filthy to you. “You’re taking me extra deep at this angle, huh? And if you want me to fuck you into the bed, you better make yourself come first.”
“Ransom,” you mewl, finding the most perfect rhythm to take him. Bouncing on top of him quickly. “Hugh,” you feel his cock throb inside of you, and fall on top of his chest, continuing to buck your hips on him. “I feel your heartbeat.”
“You’re laying on my chest, Belle, of course you do. You’re taking me so good, too.”
“No,” his hands smooth up and down your arms, and you feel so safe. Protected in ways that nobody else could. Ransom has always been your best friend. You're solid. The best thing that’s ever happened to you. You would share everything with him. Your life, your dreams, and now your body. “I feel your heart inside of me.”
You sling yourself off Ransom’s stomach, watching his handsome face contort. “Do I feel good?”
“This is best pussy I have ever felt,” he whispers. His fingers create bruises on your skin with how tightly he holds you. “Let me know if I hurt you. I’m trying not to come yet,” you nod, continuing to move over top of him. Whimpering at the sounds the your two wet bodies make in his quiet bedroom. “It’s the best, Belle. Because I actually love you. Put your hands on my thighs, and back.”
“But…you’re going to see everything.”
“That’s the point,” he lifts your hands off his chest. His crooked smirk makes him look more boyish than manlike. “We like seeing your body, but also seeing us slipping into you,” with your mouth turning into an ‘O’, and you do as he asked. Keeping your eyes on him, but he stares at your cunt swallowing him whole.
He looks beautiful watching you. You could almost see a life with the two of you as more than friends, but as lovers. Waking up and riding him every morning. Could anyone make you feel as comfortable as Ransom? Could they know the right things to say and when to say it? Could they also tease you, but never go too far? But if you chose that path with Ransom would it ruin the most perfect thing in your life? Would it be worth it to not have him in your life?
You hated to think about a life without Ransom. Without being the only one to make him smile. You were just as special to him as he was to you. And you cherish him. Even in this lewd act of the two of you changing your relationship in a way, but it feels right. It doesn’t seem grotesque of Ransom to watch your pussy. Even the way he pushes his thumb against your bundle of nerves and creates tight little circles on your skin, it seems to be for your enjoyment. He always makes everything about him.
He adds more pressure. Going faster. Faster. Smiling as your movements become harsh. Rapid. Too much. Body shivering as you set ablaze. Throwing your head back to look up at the ceiling as you sob out his name.
“Beautiful,” he whispers, but it’s so soft, like he doesn’t want you to hear.
You look back down at Ransom, and he gazes up at you like you’re a goddess. “Ran…”
”Get on your knees,” shimmying your shoulders, you position yourself like he asked. Waiting and watching as he climbs behind you. “Lean forward, and closer to the bed. Arch your back,” you do as you're told, but keep your eyes on him. He studies you like you’re a work of art. Running the tip of his head through your folds, you sink even lower, “There’s a good girl. Do you know how swollen your pussy is?”
“Is that a good thing?”
“Uh huh,” he slams himself into your warmth, and you cling to the blankets, crying out. “And I’m about to make her even more puffy,” his movements are all shocking. Skyrocketing your body further up the bed, and making your toes curl in pleasurable agony. Something so rough, shouldn’t feel this good, and yet it’s made you speechless, and gives you a loss of function in your body. It’s just euphoria.
Nothing else matters in this world but the way Ransom is railing into you. The way he grunts with every thrust. The girls he’s probably fucked didn’t matter because there’s no way he fucks them the way he does you. There’s no way that he stares at their cunt like it could solve the world’s problems. And there’s no way that he feels about them the way he feels about you.
You’ve always known that Ransom and you belonged together, but is being together this way so wrong? Is the way that he’s lighting you up, so fucking bad? You’ll probably feel differently when this is over, but right now this is too good to be wrong or a bad idea. This is everything. He’s everything. Everything with you.
“And when you want the best angle,” his arm goes under your stomach, and he pulls your back up to his chest, and somehow manages to fuck into you harder. “I get to see these perfect tits bounce around,” a hand goes around your neck, and you yearn for more pressure. “You have to tell me. Give me permission.”
“Own me. I’m yours,” he adds enough pressure around your neck, so that stars glitter in front of you. His other hand moves down your front where he stimulates your clit, and you scream, “Ransom!”
“I see all of you,” Ransom attaches his mouth to your neck, nipping, and sucking over the column until your eyes are rolling to the back of your head. Your stomach swimming with pleasure.
“I feel all of you,” you can’t stop the sounds from pouring out of your body, and the fluids. My god, why is everything so wet and sloppy? “My perfect, sloppy little slut. You know, I have a secret to tell you.”
“Come inside of me,” you’d hear about the secret later. “Your mom brought the pill. Just do it!” Everything happens so fast. His hands move around your body. Pulling, pinching, slapping, squeezing. What is this? What even is happening besides heaven?
You can’t take it anymore. This much pleasure can’t be good for one person, and you let go. Giving into the salacious pleasure, “No one has ever taken my entire cock,” Ransom says on your neck, and your walls clench down, holding him in a vice grip. Pulsing and fluttering around his body, until warm ribbons of cum burst into your belly, and you sigh. Relaxing in his embrace.
Nobody ever would feel this absolute. Because you were made for Ransom. He is so gentle as he lays you down on his bed. Walking into his en-suite with his cute tush bare to you. “Where are you going?”
He returns with a wet washcloth, and you roll over onto your back, “You’re doing that thing you did last night. What are you staring at?”
“Watching myself leak out of someone for the first time. And yeah, that thing I did last night is cleaning you up. Never settle for a man that doesn’t want to give you the best aftercare, and cuddle afterwards,” oh. So he was still in the mindset of this was just practice amongst friends. You can be, too. He was right after all, a messy breakup wasn’t worth losing a friendship.
He tosses the rag into his hamper before dropping down onto the bed, “What’s the next lesson, Ran?”
“Sucking cock like a porn star. You want to watch porn together?” you giggle, rolling your eyes at him before plopping onto the bed. Scooting closer to him.
“What?” You snuggle in closer with him. Desiring nothing more than his sticky skin on yours.
“How will you know what you want, if you don’t see what else is out there?” There is a bit of logic to this, but watching porn with Ransom would be weird, right?
“We can watch porn, if you promise to try it out with me. Just to see if I like it?” Ransom shrugs as he smiles, clicking on his phone a bit. “I’m serious!”
“You’re addicted to sex, and to my cock. Careful, Belle, I might have to dump you like the rest of them,” rolling your eyes, you settle back beside Ransom, clicking on a video before it casts to his tv. “Seriously? My stepsister let me creampie her tight little pussy?”
“No! I just clicked on something!” Mortified, you hide your face in his chest.
“You’ve ruined the algorithm now. It’s going to be step sibling porn the rest of the evening now.”
“What about best friends?”
“Is that we are?” You nod your head, and Ransom ignores you, clicking on his phone. “Here, playing truth or dare with my best friend until she lets me fuck her until I bust a load. This should satisfy your filthy self.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t be so good at sex.”
“Just promise me you won’t just fuck random guys. You deserve a relationship, okay?” You hold up a pinky, and Ransom wraps his own around yours. “Alright, slut, and I mean that in the most nice way possible,” and please, don’t fall in love with anyone but Ransom.
“Whore.”
“Ransom!” Ransom stares up at his mom, scowling. Years without you had hardened him. Years without your softness, and giggles, and private performances on a daily basis, and years without the way you felt on top of him. It’d been miserable. But he was trying to be happy that you had found your one.
“She’s in town,” Ransom shrugs. “Rain is in the forecast,” he smirks, pushing his chair back. “Be nice.”
“I’m always nice.”
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tales-of-wocdes · 2 days ago
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How would the ancient react to a mc who was reserved with everyone else but if they get to spend time with the ancient, the mc is far more open and soft with them. Just cause of the familiar sense of safety the Mc gets from them??
I am a bit wary of doing a POV for the Ancient, at least for a snippet :D. So I will write a snippet from the MC's point of view, and you are free to draw your own conclusions :D
------------------
It is your favorite time of the month. Because today is the day Grandpa Sheo visits you. And there he is, already waiting by the gate to the orphanage, black robes swaying a bit in the wind. The Silver Protectors on both sides are shifting a bit uncomfortably, throwing glances at the Ancient and each other.
You run up to the Ancient. Grandpa Sheo always exudes safety for you. He might actually magically exude safety, who knows really. Still, you have noticed how tense most adults get when the Ancient appears. As if expecting something bad to happen, but the Ancient is always the same. Blank faced and steady. Everything felt... more real when he was present. The void dared not encroach on you when he was nearby.
You peer up at him and do your best to smile. A rare thing for you but the Ancient brings with him safety and stability no one else does. These were the only moments, when you were sure this was not all a delusion. He peers back at you, his face never changing. Even your internal sense cannot make out what happens behind that face, but he saved you from the void. He is not what you would call nice excactly, but he is... something.
"Shall we go then." The Ancient asks and offers you a hand. A hand covered by a glove, not so different from the ones delivered to you.
You take the hand as best you can with your own gloved hand, and the two of you begin walking. Why the Ancient agreed to come have walks with you regularly is a mystery, but here he is. Because you kept asking for him? He is always on time, every month appearing right there by the gate to the orphanage.
He never speaks much on these walks but he does explain things you are curious about.... Though his explanations are sometimes odd.
Like... you heard at the orphanage some kids talk about how the moon was made of cheese... and when you asked Grandpa, he said "Not that one." and nothing else. Does that mean that there is a moon made of cheese somewhere?
Or once you asked him about what he does when he is traveling, and he said "Cleaning up." What does that mean? Is there a mess somewhere that needs cleaning up? Why does he need to clean it up?
But he also does things, like take you to Firgrat bay, and let you walk atop the ocean. Or underneath it. You saw a really big fish that was sort of scary. It was bigger than a building and had huge teeth. Grandpa asked if you wanted to eat it.....
You rather enjoy the walks with Grandpa.
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