#or spend time with my dogs. but i need more methods because

[jaythes1mp]

I was wondering how you think readers life would be different if they were a puppy hybrid instead of a cat? I had a dream about this last night after I reread your works

You had a dream abt it after my fic?🫢🥹💚

The dynamics between the reader and the family would noticeably change if the reader took on more canine traits rather than feline. The bat’s would likely respond differently, as canine behaviors and characteristics can vary significantly from those associated with cats. The reader's dog-like nature could shape how the family interacts with and cares for them, adding a different layer to their relationships and potentially influencing the family's behaviour. They’d expect more from you.

The nature of a dog is typically more sociable and dependent, leading to different expectations and interactions.

So if you don't immediately respond to their affections by showing signs of eagerness, like a happy, loving puppy would, the family would interpret your behaviour as abnormal. They might worry that something is wrong with you, as canine behaviour typically involves being sociable and receptive to affection.

They'd expect you to enjoy being petted, as dogs often crave human touch and attention.

You’d promptly be sent out on your way to a vet. Because, something must be the matter with you. It could never be their faults. They'd assume that the issue lies within you rather than considering the possibility that they might be the source of the problem.

In contrast to their care for Kitten Reader, they'd be more inclined to allow Puppy Reader to spend time in human form. This is because it's easier for them to monitor and assess your mental state when you're in human form. As they find it less challenging to gauge your emotions, well-being, and mental state when you're human if you’re completely unreceptive as a pup.

For a kitten it’s natural to be less receptive to affection, batting at their hands or hissing when they get too close. But it’s completely abnormal for a pup. You’re supposed to seek out their touch, not flinch from it.

So they need to nip your behaviour in the bud.

Damian, being the meticulous and dedicated individual that he is, will take it upon himself to arrange online training sessions with the most skilled and highly regarded trainers available. He believes that you ought to behave in a manner that befits your canine nature and will take great care in selecting trainers who can help you learn and adapt accordingly.

He will diligently oversee your progress, taking notes on your behavior and ensuring that you receive the necessary guidance.

Dick, being the “loving and dedicated older brother” that he likes to call himself, will dive into a thorough online research session to discover the best ways to force have you to be affectionate with him. His search queries including phrases like "How to get your dog to like you," "How to create a bond with your new puppy," and "How to make a puppy love you instantly." He’ll immerse himself in articles, videos, and guides that provide tips and techniques to form a deep and affectionate connection with you.

This ends up resulting with every time you manage to do literally anything besides growling at him, whether it be making eye contact, sitting, or even just existing in his presence, you’re immediately rewarded with a dog biscuit as an incentive.

Jason, with his rugged exterior and rough edges, is the type to carry you, no matter how large your fluffy canine physique, in a practical doggy bag. While he may appear tough on the outside, he has a deep attachment to you in your puppy form, as in some underlying level he sees himself in you.

Especially if you have any visible scars that can’t be concealed in your canine form, he might find an even stronger affinity towards you, mirroring his own experiences in a strange yet comforting way.

Tim, being the methodical and detail-oriented individual, he is, would design an unnecessarily intricate and ultra-luxurious dog pen for you indoors. This pen would be thoughtfully equipped with every amenity and comfort appropriate for your puppy needs. However, he's also pragmatic and meticulous, and would ensure that appropriate measures were in place to lock you up if you needed disciplining for misbehavior, demonstrating his keen attention to both your comfort and safety.

Tim's favorite creation thus far for you is the collar fused to your skin in a way that causes no discomfort when you transform from one form to another. It relays live data to the Bat-computer and a specially designed app installed on each family member's phone. The collar monitors everything you consume, tracks your whereabouts, keeps tabs on your vitals, and records your voice continuously for 24 hours. Moreover, it also picks up on any intense emotions you're experiencing, providing the family with a comprehensive understanding of your canine state of mind at all times.

The collar is discreetly designed to blend in, looking just like any ordinary dog collar one would purchase at a pet store, except perhaps a bit more posh and expensive. However, the back of the collar is adorned with a beautiful tag bearing all the family members’ contact details.

Other features are installed to keep you in line. A built-in shocker to administer a warning shock in case of any misbehaving behavior. After all, a little shock can go a long way in shaping a puppy's behavior. The collar is also equipped with a feature that bypasses the need for conscious thought to shift between your human and puppy form. It sends signals directly to your brain, creating a sort of mental “shortcut” to seamlessly transform between states. It takes much of the guesswork out of transforming, streamlining the process and making it effortless, forcing you to shift and taking away your ability to choose with a click of a button.

Bruce, being the overprotective father figure that he wishes to be, would be disheartened with the limitations placed on him. He’d long to take you to the grocery store, show you off to his co-workers, or even simply take walks around the park in his neighborhood. However, the others would be quick to point out that your canine form might attract unwanted public attention, and the less people knew about your existence, the better it would be for everyone’s security.

Like, What the fuck do you mean he can’t take his purebred puppy inside this fine dining establishment?? He’s a billionaire. Make the exception before he has your whole restaurant shut down and each of your employees knee-deep in debt by the end of the day.

Link to official chapter

Like to previous cat reader

I’m so tired… really hope you liked this, anon.

[adviceformefromme]

💖 MAKE YOUR DREAMS NORMAL - 7 WEEKS UNTIL 2025 [GLOW UP SERIES] 💖

So you’ve tried to change your life a million and one times, but still you fuck up time and time again, still not learning those same lessons. Part of you feels like what’s the point? Another affirmation, ANOTHER meditation. But the other part...the bigger part of you desperately wants this dream life that’s so clear in your mind. You see it, you feel it. So why is it so difficult? Why can everyone else have something they desire with so much ease, yet when it comes to you, its like there’s a wall between you and what's in your heart? 

And this is because you’ve turned your dreams, your vision, into something that is out of reach, it’s on a pedestal above you, and not accessible. You’ve become desperate and needy for your desires, when they actually need to feel normal for you. 

It needs to feel normal for you to be debt free and in actual abundance. It needs to feel normal for you to look in the mirror and feel like you are the most beautiful and radiant person you’ve ever laid eyes on. It needs to feel normal for you to have that once in a lifetime love, normal for to be spending your days building your business that makes your heart burst, normal to live in that ocean view mansion thats been on your Pinterest board since forever...Your dreams need to feel normal. 

So how do you normalise what is currently not normal? How do you normalise feeling like a CEO of your dream business when you work a job you hate? How do you normalise being married when you are single and live alone? How do you normalise feeling in top health when you have pains in your body? How do you normalise abundance when you are broke and stressed? 

You start practising the feeling. You’ve heard this a million times, but your mind doesn’t know the difference between reality and imagination. So as you practise normalising the feelings of your desires. You’re training your body and mind what it feels like to have your dreams before the events have happened. I can testify this works. When I lived in London in my shoebox apartment I would visualise daily my balcony and waking up to the ocean, I would visualise morning walks with my dog on the beach.. was I surprised when this become my reality in January, no? I had already primed my mind for my future. And this is what you need to do to move forward, but to accelerate this process these are the steps…

NOVEMBER 21 DAY CHALLENGE: 

1] DAILY MEDITATION. I recommend Dr Joe Dispenza mediation each day for the rest of this month. These are POWERFUL & TRANSFORMATIONAL. To learn more about his approach I recommend reading ‘You are the Placebo’ and ‘Becoming Supernatural’. 

2] REPROGRAM SUBCONSCIOUS DAILY. Go on a rampage, speak life into yourself each day and record it on your phone (this needs to be replayed as often as possible daily). You are making a bold statement to your subconscious mind ‘It’s normal for me to live in the home of my dreams, it feels so natural to wake up to the ocean, I love this life, I love how good it feels to be here, I love the sound of the waves each morning, it makes me feel so at peace’ etc etc you go into DETAIL. ~You get into the feeling. You record yourself and you play it back, this is the reprogram. 

3] Act as if…the 1% method. This is your daily challenge to get into the feeling with action just 1%. Depending on your dreams and goals each day you take action that will put you into the feeling of already having your dream. For example, you go window shopping, PRETENDING to be the woman of your dreams, you try on clothes, you try on lingerie, you go get a coffee in the neighbourhood you wish to live in, you set your alarm at 5am one day because you are getting into CEO energy. You get the picture. Do one thing, just one thing per day, even if its something small, you get yourself into the energy of your desire, this is how you normalise it. 

These three steps are GUARANTEED to create some ripples in your energy field. Your vibration will change, you will start feeling and seeing shifts over this next month. Stay committed. Stay receptive. Your dreams are possible, once you take action on normalising.

[7s3ven]

RETIRED BOXER! SIMON RILEY X BOXER! FEM! READER

( head canons / short one shot )

Notes: a little bloody, age gap (reader is younger), parental issues, cussing

- Simon expected that once he quit boxing and left his career behind him, he would never have to deal with it again. He assumed wrong. He was called back by an old friend, John Price

“I know she doesn’t look like much but trust me, she packs a punch. She’s just like you.” John slid a picture of you forward, showing Simon your bright grin. How could a girl like you be as ruthless as he had heard in the news?

Simon knew what they called you; the female version of Ghost.

- During his prime, Simon was a merciless fighter. He was known for destroying his opponents to a pulp and apparently, you borrowed his methods

- “Come back, Simon. The boxing world misses ya. Don’t you miss it too? Come back and I promise yer, I’ll you the most famous trainer this club has ever seen.” John ambitiously stated, folding his arms over his broad chest.

“Trainer?” Simon questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“You train ‘er,” John tapped your photograph, “And you’ll go down in history.”

- It didn’t take much to convince Simon to return. All he needed to see was you train and he agreed in a heartbeat

- He watched you carefully as you sparred with a teammate. It was supposed to be a mock fight but you were treating it like it was real. Beads of sweat dripped down your neck as you moved without even thinking. You were on a hunt for blood

- Simon saw your eyes light up as your fist connected with your teammate’s nose. Blood dripped down, staining their teeth. But instead of kneeling down and sobbing, they smiled

- “Only the crazy ones go up against her. We have ‘ta put out a warning that if you spar with Y/N, she’ll make ya bleed.” John states. “So, what’da ya think?”

It took Ghost a moment to reply. He slowly nodded his head. “Okay. I’ll train her.”

John whistled, beckoning you over like a damn dog. Through, in the arena, that’s all you really were.

- You were excited to be paired with Simon, aka Ghost. You had watched his fights in your late teenager years. He was an absolute legend

- Despite Simon being a little annoyed John managed to drag him back into boxing, he soon overcame it while spending time with you

- You understood his advice that no one else could. He wanted you to punch harder? You did so until your knuckles split and Simon had to patch you up. He wanted you to practice your kicks? Say no more, you spend all night practicing.

- He wanted you to perfect your signature move? No problem. He just has to be prepared to find you slumped in the corner of the training arena the next day because you refused to leave until you got it perfect

- The line between trainer and trainee blurs when Simon gives you his number in case of emergencies. You call later that night.

“We’re out of Doritos!” You yell into the phone. Simon furrows his brows in confusion, rechecking your contact name.

“Wot?” He mutters in confusion.

He hears you mumble to yourself as you check the number you had dialled. And then you’re back on the line. “Sorry, sir. Wrong number. Meant to call my roommate.”

“You still want Doritos? I got some at my place.”

You pause before speaking again. “You got any Coco Cola?” Simon loudly hums. “I’m on my way.”

- You didn’t fight fair but Simon liked that about you. You bit and scratched like a feral animal and nobody ever punished you for it because you were the crowd’s favourite. And you just so happened to have another favourite as your esteemed trainer. Simon only had to wave his hand and the charges against you for clawing at a girl’s face during a match would be dropped

- It’s not like you meant to develop a crush on your trainer. It just… happened. He was an attractive man and you were only human

- You had the stupid idea of confiding in Jonny, another trainer whom you had formed a close bond with. You expected him to keep his mouth shut but little did you know, he had a knack for blabbing

- Everything fell to shit the day you collapsed. You were a living, breathing replica of Simon but that also meant you overworked yourself. You didn’t remember much of what happened that day

- You had just gotten out of the ring, victorious and listening to the crowd cheer. You remembered how your chest ached and yet you ignored it. The match was difficult which explained the way your legs wobbled in exhaustion

- Your lips were cracked and stinging and bloody spit coated your face. You looked and felt absolutely disgusting. But you didn’t have a chance to clean your face before black dots invaded your vision and it got harder to breathe

- You remember how your head hit the concrete but everything after that was an unknown blur

- You were sitting on the rooftop after being discharged by the hospital when Simon approached you.

“Kid.”

Your jaw clenched at the wretched name. That was all he saw you as; a kid who no longer had any idea what she was fighting for. “Don’t call me that.”

“Y/N.” He corrects himself and it makes you feel a little better. “You want out of the ring? Just say the word and I’ll get yer out.”

- Simon expected you to be like him. To realize that boxing was useless without passion. But when you turned to look at him, he saw the fury in your eyes.

“I ain’t quitting, sir. I don’t quit.”

“I know you had problems with your parents. They pushed you to do things you didn’t wanna. You don’t have ‘ta do this if ya don’t want to.”

“Don’t wanna fuckin’ talk ‘bout them. You ain’t my therapist.” You were more hostile than usual thanks to the stitches in your lips.

- “Kid.” The word just slips and Simon doesn’t have enough time to take it back.

“Call me that one more fucking time!” You exclaim, “I ain’t your fucking kid! I don’t want ‘cha to be my daddy!”

- Something clicks in Simon’s head as he remembers Jonny’s drunken words during a pool match. Jonny told Simon about your crush, unintentionally outing you. No wonder you were staring at him with so much pent-up rage. You were sick of this ‘will they, won’t they’ game

- “Y/N.” He states firmly, “I know how you feel about me. Jonny ain’t exactly good at keepin’ his mouth shut.”

“If you’re gonna reject me, hurry up. I don’t got all day.” He watches as you scowl, so quick to jump to conclusions.

“Who said I was gon’ reject you?”

“The way you’re looking at me right now says it.”

“This is literally my resting face.”

- Simon isn’t good at expressing any emotion whatsoever. But the way you make him feel is different. You brought his love for boxing back

- Before your trip to the hospital, you trained daily per Simon’s request. You thought it was so he could monitor you better. In reality, he just wanted to see you more frequently. He liked the way you laughed and the way your eyes crinkled when you smiled

- “Three words, Y/N. Say ‘I like you’ and I’m yours.”

Simon knows how prideful you are. You won’t repeat after him unless you really mean it.

“I like you.” Surprisingly, you say it. You’re playing with the hem of your knitted sweater and Simon almost laughs at how ironic it is

- You’re one of the most feared boxers currently, always lusting for blood, and Simon has you like putty without even touching you

- You don’t need to speak for Simon to know what you’re indicating now. You want him to kiss you. So he does

- He leans forward, pressing his lips against yours and you swear you feel fireworks go off

- From then on, the line between trainer and trainee ceases to exist. A week later, a picture of you and Simon kissing after your latest match makes headlines

- “Was this all a hoax to get me a date?” Simon grunts before taking a small sip of his tea.

“Yup.” John shamelessly confesses, “So, how’s my matchmaking skills?”

“Fucking shit.”

“Hm. Didn’t seem too bad when I saw you and your lady kissin’ in the hallway.”

“Don’t watch us make out, yer creep.”

“Then don’t make out where I can see it. I walk that route every single day. I don’t wanna see the two of you exchanging saliva.”

[oddballwriter]

Moon Boys with a Pregnant Reader

Warnings: mentions of pregnancy and reader being pregnant 

Author’s Snip: Something wholesome to go with the previous headcanon about calling them your husband.

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

Steven Grant

Absolutely over the moon

I've said it before I will say it a million times more, Steven wants to be a father SO BAD and he wants as many as you two can manage. So when you're pregnant he shakes with joy

Steven makes it his job to make sure your pregnancy is the easiest it can be

He looks up remedies for any symptoms to help ease them and consults on mom forums to ask for advice on what he should be doing

Steven also researches the development of babies in the womb, like their size at each point in time/stage, what they're able to do, all that

To him, the best and most important part is when they start to kick and hear. Once the baby can hear he makes sure to talk to your bump so that they're used to their voice. It's as wholesome as you think it is, man is just yapping like he always does.

"When you're out here it's going to be great. We have everything ready and set for you."

Steven starts making a picture book so that the baby can look through it when they're older and also have memories. Marc and Jake make fun of him for it but they look through the photos that he's put in already like the first sonogram and the progression of your bump with side notes like "You're about the size of an apple in this one."

Steven gets a bit of a spending addiction once it's time to start buying stuff. He can't help it. He'll be there at the store and passes the baby aisle and he sees all the cute onesies, clothes, mobiles, and the tiny little shoes. My goodness, the tiny little shoes.

You have to tell him no and it breaks your heart a little to say no to him, but you already have like three baby mobiles and plenty of clothes.

Steven is honestly the dream father. All the women in the vicinity of you will see you and him out together and come up saying that it's so nice to see a man taking care of and being so involved in the pregnancy

When you're close to being due Steven can hardly sleep. What if you go into labor right now? Or in the middle of the night when he's out. Or what if you sit down too fast and that triggers it to start. Honestly, you need to tell him to calm down

Marc Spector

Marc makes it his job to take care of you and protect you

You know the deal. Marc's anxious about being a dad and that he's going to do it wrong or not protect them, so he starts being protective of you while pregnant to feed his need to be protective and prepared. It's nice and all but when you first started out he was a bit in your space

Eventually he tones it down but he is still being a bit of a guard dog

He closely checks all the food while you're at the grocery store to make sure nothing is in there that you and the baby aren't meant to have

Also, you will always get the lighter bags. Always. Marc will carry all the heavy ones and no, you can not convince him to let you carry one bag. You're carrying the baby, that's the only 'heavy' thing you should be carrying

He's also very picky and methodical. Steven said that pregnant people 'nest' but it seems like somehow Marc has taken most of that

He cleans everything until he deems it clean enough and places things in spots that "seem right". However, when it comes to the placement of things in the nursery he always asks you for your opinion because you, as the one carrying the baby, get the final say

When your baby starts to kick and your baby bump gets more prominent he gets all soft and mushy, emotional even. He was just preparing for something that he was expecting but now he knows that this is real. You're actually pregnant. You're going to have a baby with them and raise a child together.

It actually makes him cry, in a good way, because this is his chance to prove himself of being worthy of having joy and happiness to himself

For a good long while, Marc spends his free nights laying with his head next to your bump and just basking in the feeling. He talks to them too.

"It's just crazy to me because... you're there. You're actually real. You can hear me and you can kick and all that. And when you come out I can hold you and you can make noise and cry and squirm around. It's crazy. You're real, and I'm your dad and I'll get to see you grow up and teach you how to be a person."

When you're close to being due, he and the boys make a go bag so that you can be ready for when you go into labor but Marc sort of falls back into the intense need for preparation that he gets anxious over it and will check the go bag over and over and over again to make sure everything is in there

You need to tell him that it's alright and that the things in the bag aren't going to sneak off somehow

Jake Lockley

Jake makes sure you're happy

In his mind, there's no need to stress over the baby's growth because the doctors and check-ups take care of that. If something is wrong or needs to be done then they'll tell you and you can do what they said to do. But otherwise, he's more focused on you.

That's not to say he isn't doing anything. Of course not! He makes sure you're comfortable and healthy and that you aren't taking on any stress or workloads that might cause strain

Jake 100% is the one who builds everything, and he's good at it, and fast as hell. He built the whole baby crib in like five minutes and then started the next thing

I do feel like he takes on making the pregnancy more fun though

And by that I mean he makes stupid jokes to make you laugh

He quotes the how is prangent formed video all the time and says "pregananant" and "pregante" regularly

When you're in your final stage of pregnancy and are very pregnant he picks up everything that you drop because he knows you can't do it because the bump makes it impossible to bend down

He's seen you try before, and it's funny to him. You look like Chicha from Emperor's New Groove. That or you sit on the floor to be able to get it and then can't get back up.

He's very wholesome though. He's got the sonogram in his wallet as a keepsake to look at from time to time while he's at work

Taglist: @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction

[circeyoru]

Their Twist In Time _ Part 2

[Time-travelled Human!Alastor x Time User!Reader]

Part 1

Part 2 (here)

Nowadays, when he saw you working on your (his) time issue, he’d convince you to rest, that if you were tired, nothing would be done. Why not watch that movie show you love with him and rest a bit? Better to work while you’re fully energized, after all!

He won’t admit it to you, but he didn’t want to leave. He doesn’t have much when he returns. The police were closing in, the Great Depression was reaching a climax he doubted he could manage, and his mother had already passed away. He prefers spending his days with you, in the future or present world

‘Make sure you know your facts’ was what your father taught you. Because you favoured the past, he taught you the advantage was that it was history, the biggest events were recorded and you’d know what not to interfere and what you can

Alastor claiming he was a famous radio host was no lie, but there was something else that he didn’t tell you. He was a serial killer on the side and his death was reported to be of a dog-related incident after getting shot due to being mistaken as a deer in the woods

You were on edge, but Alastor didn’t do any killer-worthy acts to ward you off. He can’t kill you off as well, since you were his only ticket home. Speaking of, that time to call your parents was near. That night, you made sure Alastor was in his room and had his radio blasting so you’d be uninterrupted

“What have you done this time?” Came your father’s unamused voice. You chuckled nervously before explaining the entire thing to him from top to bottom. As you learned the method to bring Alastor back to his time, you were unaware of him leaning against your door, desperate to stall for time to stay longer or forever

As luck would have it, you needed some time to perfect the technique since this was a live person (your crush) that you were working on. If it was you, that’s easy since you were somewhat immortal in a sense, but this was Alastor and he ain’t no immortal like you

Then Alastor needed more time to ‘say his farewells’ as he phased it. But why he needed more time, you can’t tell, you just rolled with it

The two idiots, wanting to spend more time with each other without admitting it!

It came the time to say goodbye, you were done with school and had to move on. Even your friends were suspecting where Alastor came from, your excuse was that he was visiting on short notice, thus crashing at your place. But that could only hold them off for so long

Alastor wasn’t helping when he made himself as involved in your social circle as possible, making his presence known. Your eyes widened when you realized the reason behind this was to make people remember him so he can’t leave

“Lastly, you need to be careful.” You recall your father’s words before he and your mother signed off

“I’ll perfect the casting, no more mistakes.” You waved your hand dismissively

“Not that, we have full faith that you can do it.” Your mother softly spoke. Your parents glanced at each other before continuing, “It’s the man, Alastor, you need to be careful of.”

Your eyes blinked, confused. “Why? He’s been kind and understanding. We bonded—”

“That’s the thing. You’ve bonded, connected with each other.” Your father cut you off. “The nature of the casting was this. You were lonely and wanted companionship. So was this man, that’s why he was brought back with you. You didn’t do it on purpose, it was your subconscious that did it.”

“This is the reason why we told you to train the mind.” Your mother stressed

You sighed, you had already took a few days to clear your head, faking it as preparation for your abilities. You can say you have a crush on him now. You want him to stay but this wasn’t his home. ‘If you love him, let him go.’

“Alastor, you can’t stay any longer. I know what you’re doing.” You spoke to him as the two of you reached the forest clearing

“Whatever are you implying, my dear? Aren’t we merely enjoying a nice stroll through the woods?” He smiled ever so brightly under the shining sunlight. How you wish you were born in his time period or he in yours. Maybe in another life

You raised your hand as your powers activated beneath him, freezing him in place so he can only listen and speak to you. “Alastor. I love you. Have been for a while, I’m sorry that I brought you here and I’m sorry I’m sending you back on my terms. I’m sorry! I wish you could stay or I could go with you, but… we don’t belong together.”

Alastor growled, keeping his smile forced and strained, “Darling, release your power and I can stay! We don’t have to end this! I can stay and live with you! I’ll even work if you’re worried about mo—”

You shook your head, “It’s not that! It’s… I was wrong…” You swallowed, explaining with a small smile, “No one here, except me, will remember you. All traces of you here will be erased.” You heard his gasp, “And you. You won’t remember ever coming here. You won’t remember… Me.”

Alastor stared down at the gun that you summoned from his room to throw into the circle surrounding him. “Dearest…”

As the light blinded him, he could hear your voice crack and fall to one of sadness. “Be happy for the rest of your life, Alastor! Maybe we’ll meet, in another life.”

Alastor promised, “I’ll remember you! I swear it! I’ll find you! I have something to say, I—”

You waved him bye, for the first time, you saw it. The corner of his lips falling and you feel your own tears pools as you admitted with a stab in your heart, “No. No, you won’t.”

MASTERLIST

[followthebluebell]

hi! i wanted to ask about trying to adopt a second cat when your first one has been solo her whole life. mine was already an adult when i got her so since i was always home anyway i didn't try, but this might change so i want to get ahead of it. how do i tell when to stop trying if they don't get along? (i've read it can take months for cats to get used to each other) and what do i do if it doesn't work out? (do i try again with a different one? do i give her up to someone who has more time?)

Full disclosure: I've never had to introduce a fully grown adult cat into my home without knowing that my cat at home was already cat-friendly or at least cat-tolerant. My cats have always had other cats around, with the exception of Saia. I adopted Saia when she was about a year old, but I had the luxury of knowing, more or less, how she'd do around other cats.

There's something in dogs called the Rule of Threes and I find it holds fairly true for cats too. The general idea is that your new pet spends about three days settling into their new home (this can take MUCH longer for very nervous animals), three weeks to establish a routine, and three months to fully display their personality.

With this in mind, if a cat isn't integrated into the house and getting along with another cat within three months, there is something going on and it's time to try a different method.

While I'm disclosing stuff, I'll add that it took Yardstick and Saia about three months to get along. Saia got along fairly well with Kaylee pretty much immediately because Kaylee simply didn't want to do much with her besides give her the occasional groom and be groomed in return. Saia got along with my dog fairly quickly because my dog is extremely respectful of cats.

Yardstick was not. Yardstick was, at that point in his life, a little bastard. I hadn't started harness training him just yet so he was really super excited about this younger cat (a potential playmate! Finally someone who might want to wrestle with him!!) coming into his home. He'd come on WAY too hard and fast for Saia's comfort and didn't understand her cues to stop.

Which was weird because Yardstick was always pretty respectful of his older sisters (Skitten and Kaylee). But for some reason, it just didn't... translate very well to Saia. I still don't really understand why, honestly.

There were never any severe conflicts between the two. Like there was never any blood spilled.

So what ended up working for Saia and Yardstick was just giving Yardstick another outlet for his energy. Once that was established, he stopped hounding her all the time. Now they play together daily, both respecting each other's cues and desires.

This clearly wouldn't have worked if both cats weren't able and willing to work (for lack of a better phrase). They both were capable of living peacefully together. It wasn't like either cat was openly cat-fractious or cat-unfriendly. They just needed some time and technique to sort out what the problem was.

I think I'm meandering a bit here. To start with, I find the Jackson Galaxy method of cat introductions pretty sound, so that's a good place to start. That alone will give you a good idea on whether or not the cats will get along.

It's normal for cats to hiss at each other at first. A bit of puffing up is also normal.

Actual fights are not normal and you will recognize one pretty much immediately. A cat fight is VERY loud and pretty bloody. There will be fur flying and screaming. If you see that, I don't recommend just trying with another cat unless you're VERY certain that the other cat is the aggressor.

[watcherwingedcat]

Hi! So I just found out about essas like this week and the concept is very intriguing to me! I saw that you made a post explaining the basics of that an essa is and that you've also answered someone else's ask about them, so I thought I'd put some questions here. These are directed at the community at large (if anyone who reads this also wants to share) but I thought it'd make more sense to put them as an ask. If they are too personal, please feel free not to answer them!

I think I've got a few questions, so here it goes-

1) How do you bond with an essa? I've seen multiple people mention bonding with them and it made me curious. What are methods you use to bond with an essa? Which do you think are least/most effective? I'm sure these vary from person to person but I'd still love to hear examples.

2) How do you know if what you're doing for bonding is working? Like how fo you tell if you're actually forming a bond?

3) How does an essa help? I understand that they are supposed to comfort their handler/owner (is there a word preference in the community?) but I'm not exactly sure how that works. Again, I'm sure it varies but I'd love some examples ^^

And 4) How did/do you pick your/an essa? Which things do you usually consider while getting one?

That's all the questions I had for now. These are asked out of genuine curiosity and I hope they aren't read the wrong way. Thank you and anyone who reads this for any answers you choose to give. I hope everyone who reads this has a wonderful day!

- 🌌🌃

Hello! So, quite an amount of questions, anon, thanks for the ask! It's crazy how people asked me about it, never thought that my little post would interest people. I'm planning on making some other posts on the matter, but I'll try to answer the best I can. I'm in not means an expert, but I do know how human psychology works (a little bit).

1) How do you bond with an essa? What are methods you use to bond with an essa? Which do you think are least/most effective?

So, the first thing to remember is that essas, even tho we in the community like to make them feel alive, they are just what their name says: They are plushies. We like to pretend they are real dogs/animals or whatever, but at the end of the day they are still plushies.

But well, how do you bond with your essa, knowing this? First, you need to choose which kind of essa you want. Do you want a big plushie? A small one? Think about whether or not you can take them anywhere with you, or not. "Bonding" requires you'll spend a lot of time with your essa, so you know your friend well. Also, yes, it's important to bond with it, otherwise the essa would just be a simple plushie, therefore useless if you already have one. Essas help you. They bring support. So, spending time with it, carrying it with you, you getting used to it, etc, would be the best methods.

The best advice I can give you is to form an especial connection to your essa. Maybe it's a childhood plushie that gives you comfort. Maybe, like me, you chose your essa because of the texture it has for grounding techniques. But you need to bring yourself to care for it.

2) How do you know if what you're doing for bonding is working? Like how do you tell if you're actually forming a bond?

Again, an essa is still just a plushie. But, if you got yourself used to it and bring it with you and it isn't doing anything, maybe you need to try from a different approach.

If you did all of the things I said, and the essa still feels like isn't working, maybe you're still not very attached to it. That's okay. Just try again. How do you know if you're bonding, and the essa it's helping you?

You know your "bonding" it's working when you feel the plushie is actually working. I know it sound obvious, but hear me out. If you are attached to the plushie, you care for it, the plushie will give you comfort, therefore, it will "task" correctly. For example, say you're having an anxiety or panic attack, and you pet your essa for grounding and in order to distract yourself. And... your essa actually calms you down. That's how you know the essa is doing its work, because you are attached to it, and it brings you comfort.

The bond you have with your essa it's chosen, and it's yours. You choose it. Maybe you use your essa every single day, maybe you don't need it at all times. Maybe you bring it with you everywhere, maybe not. It's up to you, and your essa will adapt to whatever your lifestyle is.

3) How does an essa help? I'm sure it varies but I'd love some examples ^^

An essa brings comfort to the user, and it can have different tasks. As an example, Ramen, my essa, has a texture that helps me grounding. Some essas are heavy because they are filled with rice or gravel, and they help the user with deep pressure therapy. Maybe petting your essa helps distract you from hurting yourself.

Essas also help with neurodiversities. I'm autistic and I'm very awkward in social situations, so Ramen gives me confidence in myself.

An essa can help you getting out of your house, too. For example, I treat Ramen as a real dog, and real dogs need walks every single day. Therefore, I go outside to walk him. You may receive weird looks, just ignore them.

"Plushies are more than just toys. They become confidants and a source of unwavering support. As silent witnesses to our joys and sorrows, stuffed animals are trustworthy allies in our battles against stress and anxiety. Whether you developed a lasting bond with a cherished stuffed animal as a child or found a new friend well into adulthood, an emotional support stuffed animal can help you through your toughest times.

Stuffed animals bring comfort, alleviate anxiety, and nurture emotional well-being no matter your age. They are a testament to simple comforts in a chaotic and unpredictable world!"

4) How did/do you pick your/an essa? Which things do you usually consider while getting one?

How you choose your essa varies from person to person. It doesn't have to be a dog, or have gear, either, it literally can be any stuffed toy. I picked Ramen literally in an impulsive decision: I was researching essas on the internet and one day me and my friend went to Tiger. There, they sold dog plushies for nine dollars, and because it was inside of my budget, I just bought him.

You may want to consider your lifestyle. Do you really need an essa? Are you ready for it, to care for it, to love it? Because if it's something you'll just buy but never use, maybe it's not the solution for you. Obviously, there aren't any rules on owning essas. But if you'll be throwing money away, maybe it isn't worth it.

Please, don't listen to others when they say essas have to be a certain brand or have to be expensive. You don't need to follow certain "rules" or "requirements". An essa can be any plushie. The only difference from essas and a normal plushie is the relationship you have with them, and the amount of comfort they bring you. They are not pets, but also, they are not just plushies. They are your friends, and powerful tools against certain disorders.

[redux-iterum]

The latest chapter had me wondering, how much daily freedom (from like being assigned patrols and such) do mentors have with their apprentices? Is it generally considered that theyll be training for a good portion everyday, and the deputy works around that? If the mentor thinks “oh my apprentice could use practice on patrol” can they ask/volunteer to be on more? OR does it depend entirely on the clans deputy at the time, and different deputies had different styles? ((This question is entirely Thunderclan centric, unless Leoparddawn adapts this method??))

Also also I really loved how the latest chapter showed how a change in deputy can entirely change clan culture, with just one conversation across the river! Excellent writing! “She has us on patrols, like you guys!!”

And I was thinking on it and wow RiverClan really wouldn’t need regular patrols usually because the river keeps most cats out, they would only need to keep an eye out for other creatures - Like foxes or badges OR DOGS HUH

In the beginning, mentors and their apprentices are expected to spend the entire day together, first with the tour of the territory (which is a full day) and then giving them the very first basics of training to hunt, fight, track and all the valuable tools they'll need to survive, which can vary per Clan. As the apprentice ages, they'll be given a looser leash - they can go on patrols without their mentor, or train with other apprentices while their mentor is busy, and if they ARE with their mentor, they will split up here and there to hunt or follow a scent. Once they're ready for their name, they're most often almost completely independent and able to do most things alone; they just haven't been doing that much because they're still a -paw and should have the best guidance they can get while they can still get it and be expected to listen.

The idea of this is to gradually teach the cat how to be an adult. Warriors go out alone all the time on their own business, and they can be trusted to because they've earned their name and have demonstrated that they can take care of themselves. An apprentice relies on their seniors all throughout their -paw-hood, but as they're given responsibilities and are challenged by being alone for short periods of time, they teach themselves and take on challenges that the average warrior is going to encounter throughout heir life.

[kiss-theggoat]

(Shuffles up to you nervously) hi I was wondering if it would be ok to request a billy Lenz fix where the reader actually has a pet pig, also your my favorite writer 🙂

A/N: Two things! One, sorry for my inactivity! I was away on a trip. Two! Thanks so much for the suggestion and thank you so much for the kind words. I decided to expand your request and do different slashers with different kinds of pets!! I hope that’s okay and I really hope you like it!

Slashers With Your Pets

Slashers Included: Billy Lenz, Michael Meyers, Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger

Billy Lenz:

If you have a….

Cat, Billy is a cat man. He loooves cats, they’re so warm and cuddly, but they also understand boundaries and the need to be alone sometimes. The only thing he might not enjoy about cats is the fact that some can be timid around loud noises, which immediately means they’re timid around Billy.

Dog, Billy is less of a dog person. He thinks that dogs can be overwhelming in their attention, especially if one jumps on him or barks at him. He likes the gentle giant dogs, golden retrievers that just lay down and don’t do anything. But, if you have a little dog that barks at everything that moves, expect Billy to be very unhappy.

Reptile or Invert, BILLY HATES SNAKES. If you bring a snake or tarantula or lizard or scorpion into the house, Billy is not going to want you near him. The only reptile or invert I could see him being okay with would be a leopard gecko type. Something smaller and less active.

Farm Animal, if you had pigs, horses, or cows, something like that, Billy would probably be vulgar about how they smelled. Of course, if you owned a pig, he’d call it is little piggy. You could definitely convince him to help out with the animals, especially the pigs or cows. He thinks the cows are cute, and wants to spend time with the little piggies.

Michael Meyers

If you have a….

Cat, Michael likes cats. He understands them, they understand him. He likes to be left alone, they like to be left alone. They get along great. But, if you catch him petting your cat on the couch or inviting it up into his lap, don’t mention anything. He’ll be embarrassed that you caught him in a vulnerable time. He’ll never admit to liking your furry friend.

Dog, Michael actually really likes dogs. He likes big scary looking dogs, Rottweilers, Dobermans, Cane corsos, those types. Because even though they’re scary, they’re well trained and methodical, just like him. If you have a big dog, expect to peel around the corner and catch Michael giving it a pat on the head or a belly rub every once in a while.

Reptile or Invert, Michael could care less. They don’t do anything, so he doesn’t feel the need to pay attention to them. If you have a big lizard or something, he might be a little hesitant to touch it or go near it, but other than that, he walks by the tank without a second thought.

Farm Animal, Michael really doesn’t enjoy farm animals. They smell, require a lot of care, and make a lot of noise. They sort of cramp his style, and he doesn’t understand why the hell you’d want to take care of them.

Jason Voorhees:

If you have a…

Cat, Jason likes your cat because you like your cat, but overall, he’d really prefer an animal that shows him more affection. He wants something that wants to be near him all the time, not something he has to force to be near him.

Dog, Jason would love your dog. He would probably be a little timid at first, but after him and your dog got close, they’d be thick as thieves. They’d go out in the woods and play fetch together, Jason would carry the pup around no matter how big or small. He would adore your dog, and your dog would adore him.

Reptile or Invert, Jason would be a little scared of a tarantula or a lizard or a snake. He would probably be interested in them and try to like them because you liked them, but when it came to handling or feeding, that would definitely be your job.

Farm animal, if you had some farm animals, Jason would welcome them with open arms on his camp. He’d probably be the most open to horses or cows, but would like to see you so caring. Seeing you put in the work to take care of something so time consuming would be a really endearing trait.

Freddy Krueger

If you had a…

Cat, Freddy doesn’t like. Freddy isn’t a cat guy, he’s not into all the cuddling and the meowing and the fur. Heaven forbid your cat tear a thread from his sweater, he might just bust a vein in his forehead from holding in his angry yells. His kind of cat would be the one in the corner that hisses at everyone.

Dog, he only likes very certain dogs. He’s okay with dogs that mind their own business. Ones that just hang out in the other room and don’t bug him. If you had a dog that jumped up on him or barked at him, he would hate it. Or, his least favorite kind, tiny dogs with high pitched barks. Don’t even get him started.

Reptile or Invert, Freddy thinks they’re cool. I think he’d like lizards the most, like if you had an iguana or a bearded dragon, he’d hang out with it next to him, just chilling. If you owned a tarantula or a scorpion or any other invert, he’d be interested in it, often asking to feed it and handle it if possible.

Farm animal, no. Don’t ask. Don’t even propose the idea. Stinky, loud, annoying. He hates farm animals unless they are on his plate as a juicy steak or a nice burger. He might be able to tolerate it if you ride or own horses, but other than that, he’s really not into it.

[rippersz]

Miranda Priestly and f Reader. Reader gets in between an altercation between Miranda and Stephen. She later tells Miranda "I'll never let anyone talk to you like that again"

𝙰 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝙸𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚛𝚞𝚙𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗

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════ ⋆★⋆ ════════ ⋆★⋆ ════

(Fem!Reader x Miranda Priestly) (Pining) (TW: Abusive language)

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“Oh give me a break! You don’t have to make up excuses to try and salvage my ego, Miranda!”

The minute you walked in, you knew something was wrong.

The townhouse air in the evening was usually still and quiet, but the stomping footsteps on the second floor provided a tension that made you pause in the foyer. Stephen was home, you realized. His weird manly cologne filled your lungs, nearly bringing tears to your eyes with how strong it was. Almost a year as Miranda’s assistant, spending time around her husband at least once or twice, and you still couldn’t get used to his smell. Probably because every little thing about Stephen was either utterly boring or terribly annoying. Emily said it was both, but she only expressed that when he called so frequently that Miranda told her to instantly send them to voicemail. ‘If he has something important to say, he’ll leave a message’ but every time he did, it was just a stream of complaints.

If you were in his shoes, something you didn’t think about often because why would you, then you knew you wouldn’t take her attention for granted. She gave it when she could and a loving partner would understand that, and such understanding would lead to a lack of tension, and a lack of tension would result in more of her recognition. Or that’s what you thought. Again- not that you thought about it frequently of course - cuz that would just be silly and unrealistic and strange because she was your boss and she was the most emotionally unavailable woman you knew and even though she loved her daughters, her love for her partners was different and-

“I can’t go one day without them shooting looks at me- like- like I’m some dog! Probably wondering where my keeper is!” His voice echoed upon every floor, making you wince as you slid the Book into its assigned place.

Evidently, they hadn’t heard you come in. They should have been expecting you; at least Miranda should have, but it was easy to lose track of time during the winter months. It seemed to move so quickly, with a prime example being that it was 11:20 on the dot once you got there. Miranda had to attend a small dinner party at 9, so she eventually returned home at 10:30. Not the worst timing for a Friday night, but if Stephen had been ranting from the very moment she stepped in, well then you had no doubt she was tired. Too tired to argue perhaps as you barely heard her murmured response.

“We can discuss this in the morning. It’s late.” She sounded worn. It made your heart ache as you looked up at the ceiling, momentarily debating if you should stay or leave.

“Oh yeah? Just so you can escape back into your job to try and distract yourself from the real issues? Stop acting like a child, Miranda. We’ll talk about this now like adults.” The way Stephen ‘put his foot down’ was nothing in comparison to Miranda’s method. He was too loud about it - too demanding. It wasn’t very effective, even though it did make up your mind for you.

Staying was risky, of course. You could get caught, of course. You could get fired, of course. But honestly? You didn’t trust your boss’s husband. You didn’t trust his demeanor or his drinking or any other little thing about him. And although you didn’t think he would really hurt her, the worry that planted itself in the back of your brain grew swiftly; festering like a disease as you inched yourself toward the stairs and placed your hand on the cold bannister. Worrying for your boss was not your place, but above that, worrying for Miranda Priestly was not your right. You weren’t hers and she wasn’t yours - so there was really no need to stick around. She was entirely capable of taking care of herself.

…And yet?

And yet, something in your gut told you to stay. It was quiet but present - and it murmured softly, convincing you that the second you stepped out of the door and got into the car with Roy and drove off into the night, something would happen. Something bad. Something that you could have avoided if only you were there.

So no, you couldn’t leave. Not yet. Even though Miranda was most likely prepared to tear Stephen a new one.

“I am acting like a child? Calling your wife at 9:45 PM to complain about her absence at a dinner you didn’t confirm is far more childish than me doing my job. What did you expect me to do when you called? Run out of an important business dinner to dash over and wipe your tears before drowning my embarrassment in an overpriced ‘welcome bread basket’? Don’t be absurd, Stephen. You knew I was busy.” And she proved you right - speaking in a low edgy hiss that you suspected was only reserved for her husband. Interestingly enough though, even alone in her house, arguing with this person or the other, Miranda never raised her voice.

No one else thought it was noteworthy enough to mention in quiet conversation, but you were often tempted to bring it up to Nigel. You figured it was because of her childhood - whatever that had been like - and that she vowed to keep her vocal cords safe. It was a small little detail, but when one conversed with Miranda, sometimes it seemed like the only thing to focus on. Her words are always important, yes, but watching her lips move… and seeing the way her teeth formed each syllable… well it was mesmerizing in a way you’d never be able to properly explain. And Stephen, who was pacing the floor above you, was far too daft to understand that.

“What, so if I want to have dinner with my wife, I have to confirm through her assistant? You barely pick up, Miranda!” The sudden growl in his voice had you placing one foot on the stair next to you.

‘This is just a precautionary measure’ you told yourself, knowing that was far from the truth.

“And you pick up too often.” Her quip was breathy and sharp - a clear end to the conversation as you heard her soft footsteps trailing off into another room.

“What does that even mean?! I’m trying to be a good husband, but you are ruining my reputatio-”

“Your reputation?” The venom in Miranda’s voice silenced her husband immediately. “Your reputation…,” you pictured her shaking her head before letting out a little mocking laugh; “…I have no effect on how much you succeed in your career. If you can’t separate work and life, that’s not my problem.”

Their voices were drifting away, lost to the floorplan of their home as you slowly skirted your way up the stairs. It seemed that Miranda had taken your common sense with her when she walked off, leaving Stephen (and you) to follow like lost puppies. Although, she still didn’t know you were there. And you still weren’t going to leave - not until he stopped raising his voice and waking the entire neighborhood.

“God you know- you always treat me like shit, Miranda.” You winced, knowing very well how much she hated cursing. “I am your HUSBAND. You should be speaking to me with respect - not like I’m another worthless magazine you can get rid of. I’ve given you EVERYTHING I have and what have you given me? A few hours of your time? Nothing? Just enlighten me, because I’m really at a loss right now!”

There was a bang then. It was strong and hard and it sounded like he hit something- maybe a side table or a wall- but it didn’t matter to you. He had hit something and if he could hit something- an inanimate object- he could hit his wife and if he hit his wife, he could hurt her and you couldn’t just stand there- you couldn’t just listen to his slander when his wife was giving him everything!; when she was providing and taking care of the children and doing her job all at the same time. You gulped, noticed that you had gravitated up to the second floor, and decided in a split second that if Miranda had anything to say, you’d simply come up with an excuse.

Then, as you listened for where they had gone, you heard hurried footsteps coming back toward the stairs.

“Don’t ignore me, Miranda! Stop hiding behind your job and just admit that you don’t give a fuck about us! I try so hard every day and every night and all you can do is- is- is whore yourself out to those fucking businessmen!”

The gasp that bubbled up in your throat escaped without hesitation. You had never heard anyone talk about Miranda like that - and especially not to her face. If anyone else had spoken so wickedly, you were almost certain that they’d be blacklisted from every bloody establishment in New York City, whether it had to do with fashion or not. But Stephen… well you knew that she had her own reputation to protect - and an escaping husband was not ideal.

But still…

Still…

She didn’t deserve that. And the injustice that had sparked earlier welled up like water boiling over the lip of a full pot. How dare he? How dare he speak to her like that? Your hands balled into fists at your sides; painted nails digging into the skin of your palms.

“Still nothing to say? Huh?!”

A split second later, followed by the sound of Stephen’s yelling, Miranda walked around the corner.

And there your eyes met.

She looked tired at that moment… and small… and utterly incensed at the idea of you being there and witnessing that. The shock played out on her face in the span of a millisecond; with a wide blue gaze and perfect lips parted and sculpted eyebrows raised onto her forehead - which was half covered by a swooping waterfall of messy white hair. It was beyond clear that she was ready for bed and that Stephen was just prolonging her suffering, but you sent a silent prayer to the gods asking to keep your job just before her husband showed up. His hands were on his hips, his face was screwed up into a tired and angry frown, and upon seeing you- he let out a loud scoff.

“Are you kidding me?!” His yell was right in Miranda’s ear but she didn’t seem to care. She didn’t even flinch.

Instead, she was staring right at you. At you. With some sort of fury- some sort of strange deep emotion- swirling around in pearlescent eyes. You felt your knees grow weak but held your ground. If she was going to yell, let her yell. If she was going to coldly dismiss you, let her coldly dismiss you. But at the end of the day, the longer you stared, the more you knew that she knew. That she understood. In the strange telekinetic way that most women shared - the concern that compelled you to stay was reflected in her gaze. And there, in the lull of irritation and tension, was a conversation that only the two of you shared.

It was spoken softly, slowly, and through your eyes alone.

‘I stayed because I was scared for you.’

‘I know.’

‘Are you mad at me?’

‘I don’t know. This wasn’t your place.’

‘I understand. I’m sorry. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.’

‘I can handle myself.’

‘I don’t care.’

‘…I know.’

“Did you plan this? Is that why she’s here?! What- did- did you call her? To witness us fight? See I knew you were fucking crazy! From day one I told myself ‘Stephen don’t get involved with her’ and now look where I am!”

Your silent conversation was snapped in half as he ranted; all while shoving past Miranda to walk further into the hall and throw his hands up in the air like a kid. You felt your body jolt at the sight of her being pushed, but like the impenetrable wall she could be, your boss stood her ground and allowed her husband to brush past her shoulder. As if there wasn’t force in the way he walked. As if you weren’t this close to throwing a punch.

And Miranda could see it in you. She could see the irritation- the sense of injustice and everything that came with it- but she also knew you wouldn’t do anything. You were too kind. Too understanding.

Well… unless someone like Stephen said what he said next.

“You know what? No. I’m done. You listen to me right now,” and then he rounded on your boss, walking right up into her space so quickly that you couldn’t help but push yourself to get closer. And from where you stood then, you saw the way he pushed his finger into her chest and seethed with an unnecessary amount of rage.

“You listen and you learn. I have had it up to here with your bullshit. The cold shoulder, the missed dinners, the terrible schedules, the fact that you don’t even care if the twins like me or not - I’m sick of it. You treat me like an accessory. Another bag for the queen of fashion to throw out but guess what. Guess what, Miranda! I don’t care anymore. We’re separating - and you’re gonna end up like all of the other sad washed up celebrities: Pathetic and- and- weak and alone. Because no one- no one- could possibly love you like this,” and you watched with disgust as he shook his head and let out a cruel laugh. “No one could possibly look at you, with your stuck-up bitchy behavior, and see something worth loving. And-”

Before he could continue, you heard yourself speaking.

“You are absolutely pathetic.”

Two sets of eyes turned on you - one of them confused and the other severe, silently telling you to just shut your mouth. Normally, you would. Normally, you’d listen to your boss and obey her commands- silent or not- because you appreciated her authority and you were halfway in love with her. But it was for that last reason, the very reason why your ribcage felt like a zoo butterfly exhibit, that you decided not to listen. Sure, Miranda would hear your angry love-sick quips, but that didn’t matter. You were going to spill your heart out onto the floor, take a page out of your boss’s book…

…and kick Stephen’s ego into the dust.

“What did you just say?” His eyes were disbelieving as he turned to you; and though a twinge of fear dug at your heart, you pushed on.

“You heard me. You’re pathetic. Pathetic and weak and honestly? Really really embarrassing. It’s no wonder she doesn’t wanna spend time with you. Aside from being the busiest person on Earth and providing you with a roof over your head, she has kids and a job to maintain. But it’s fine- it’s fine!, because you get to complain and she doesn’t. Because you think she owes you everything, but she doesn’t. And she never did. And she never will.” You weren’t sure when you had gotten so close to him, but the backwards step he took gave you enough confidence to continue. “And if you think you mean anything to her, above her children, above her passion, then you are so sorely mistaken that it’s almost funny. Because me, and so many others, have seen how much Miranda cares about those closest to her - and if she’s not making you better, then you’re clearly not worth her time. But maybe if you exercised some more respect, maybe if you showed you cared, she’d bother to call you back and she’d bother to act like your wife. But you don’t do that. So why should she show you what you don’t show her? Huh? Why should she love you when there’s other people out there- when- when there’s people like- like Nigel, like Emily, like me,” you took a deep breath, nearly choking on your words because you were talking so fast, “who would give her the world if she asked for it. Who would do anything to have her attention. So- so why should she love you when you take it for granted? When you, who gets it for free, don’t have to bend over backwards for her affection? When- when- you- you attend events with her, you have dinner with her, she calls you darling! And you take it all for GRANTED - BECAUSE YOU JUST DON’T CARE!”

Your eyes were most likely bloodshot. Your body was shaking. Your head was pounding and your heart was in your throat.

But Stephen looked shocked, having taken more steps backward toward the stairs as you approached him like a blood-thirsty lioness. And at that, watching the way his hand scrambled for the banister, you felt a strange twist of pride creep throughout your heart.

…But it wasn’t enough. You wanted him gone. So you cleared your throat, straightened your spine, and sniffed.

“That’s enough.”

Of course. Miranda cut in, her cool voice dousing your rage like a bucket of water over burning coals; dragging you back into yourself from where you had gotten lost in the clouds; reminding you that you weren’t supposed to be there in the first place. That you were just an assistant. Just a young woman who had stepped out of line to try and protect a woman who didn’t really need it. And instinctively, as though you had been slapped in the face or tugged by a leash, you backpedaled until Miranda’s soft footsteps came over and her back faced you. Stephen’s expression was hidden.

“…I’ll contact Leslie in the morning,” her voice was soft… introspective… distant in a way that made you nervous. “Until then… find somewhere else to spend the night.”

And things grew very quiet.

The only sounds you heard were the bustle of the city and the individual breathing of the three of you. Everything else was silent. The rest of the house, empty without Patricia and the twins (all of which were visiting their grandparents), felt like a movie set with a hidden audience. As though, at about any minute, the credits for the end of the episode would roll and you, Miranda, and Stephen would let out sighs of relief and walk off set and go get cups of water and coffee. But even as you stood there, trying hard not to tilt to the left to watch Stephen walk downstairs and out of the house, you knew what had happened was no fun and games. No, you’d definitely be facing consequences once he was gone.

And finally, after a few more moments of prolonged silence, his footsteps were going down the stairs and into the foyer. Your eyes traced the contours of Miranda’s silk shirt, watching the way it flowed over her shoulders as she walked closer to the staircase to watch Stephen go. One minute- two minutes- and then the front door was opening and closing behind him…

…and silence fell again.

You swallowed, feeling as though you had suddenly been thrown into the center of the sun. The heat of your embarrassment was excruciating - and if Miranda turned around, she’d spot the blush on your cheeks instantaneously. But that was a strong if, because she hadn’t just yet. Nope, instead, she stood staring at the door, letting the air settle. And you weren’t going to interrupt that, so you kept your mouth shut and tried to rationalize mentally.

If she asked, you’d just tell her the truth. That the world got crueler each day and it was in your nature to worry and that no wife should ever come face to face with a furious partner - at least not without the chance to talk civilly at first. And then you’d tell her that it was okay if she wanted to fire you and that you were sorry for being so open and that if you had fucked things up, you’d do whatever you could to fix them.

…

The silence eventually became deafening. And there was an itch in your legs that was getting to you. And your hands were slowly untensing, left with an ache from the pressing of your fingernails. And the exhaustion from the long day was getting to you - so you cleared your throat and prepared yourself.

“Miranda, I’m so sor-”

“That was unnecessary.” You couldn’t hear an ounce of emotion in her tone.

And all you could do was nod and look down at your feet.

“I- I know. I know. But I just… I just couldn’t leave, Miranda.”

“You couldn’t or you didn’t want to?”

Well that was a brilliant question. One you wished you could answer without crying. One you wished you could answer without feeling like a complete loser.

“…Both, I guess.” You settled on the best option you could think of and began shaking your head when the only response you got was a low hum of acknowledgment.

And Miranda still hadn’t moved. She was probably compartmentalizing - or disappearing into her fashionable mind palace - all while you stood there looking at her like she had just smacked your ice cream onto the floor.

Well… if there was one thing you knew, it was that the tension-filled silence couldn’t continue. She could either fire you quickly or make it slow and painful, but either way you weren’t going down without a fight.

“Look, I’m sorry. I am. I know it was out of line and it was too much and I should’ve just kept my mouth shut but I promise I did it with good intentions. And I promise I wouldn’t have stayed if I wasn’t worried and I wouldn’t have said anything if I weren’t genuinely upset. And… and I don’t know if you want to fire me because of that, but if you’re gonna do it - please just get it over with. I know I’m a good assistant, I- I know I’ve learned quickly and I’m sorry that I just completely ruined that right now but if you somehow just gave me another chance, I wouldn’t make another mistake. I promise. And I wouldn’t- I- I-,” you stumbled over your words, feeling the intense pounding of your heart press up against your chest, like it was begging to bounce onto the floor and tumble down the stairs. And the feeling felt so sickening that you had to take a deep breath and shake your head and push down the angry, anxious, terrified tears that yearned to spill into your eyes. “And I- I’ll- I’ll never let anyone talk to you like that again… I promise.”

Your voice was frail. The fire from earlier was gone - as though it had never existed at all. And Miranda still just stood there, with her phone in one hand and her face turned away from you…. Like you weren’t good enough to see her. Like you didn’t deserve to know what she was thinki-”

“You talk too much.” It was the only thing she said before she turned around and walked right past you - faster than lightning.

And you blinked just in time, turning on your heel and staring after her.

“Wh-what? That’s it?” You called. No firing? No scolding?

The room she was heading into looked like a study - but that swiftly became unimportant when she paused at the door and turned to you.

Her face, lit up by the hall light, looked tired in the same way it was earlier. But her eyes… well there was something in them that you couldn’t place. It looked like amusement… and something softer. Something- dare you say- grateful. But it was probably just a trick of the light - and you were probably just hallucinating because of your own exhaustion - and she was most likely just itching to get her duty done and go to bed.

And you suspected that was the case until she took a second to look you up and down in that way that she did- with her blue eyes searching and her gaze laser-sharp- and eventually, eventually, she made it back up to your face. Her expression was blank.

“…On Monday morning, tell Emily that the clothing department has a new opening. Then tell everybody else.” There was a pause. “…And be prepared to start interviews on Tuesday.”

And the last you saw of her then- of the sweet poison you called Miranda Priestly- was the statuesque shape of her body’s side profile as she softly closed the study door.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════════ ⋆★⋆ ════

Thank you for the request, anon! I understand this isn't terribly fluffy, but I wanted to make it as realistic as I could. I hope you enjoyed! - Ripley

(P.S. DWP is my favorite movie!)

════ ⋆★⋆ ════════ ⋆★⋆ ════

[ovaruling]

You made a post earlier about how you are feeding stray cats. Since it seems like you're very concerned about the environment I wonder why you are doing this. Aren't stray/outdoor cats horrible for the environment? Mostly because they kill animals that are actually important for nature like birds and rodents. Not trying to be rude just wondering why you think feeding them is a good idea, because it's basically helping a population that has no place in nature and does nothing but harm.

look, i’m not without my weaknesses—i can’t look at a starving stray cat and not feed it. maybe others can, but i can’t. i never claimed to be a paragon.

however, i must clarify something and also point out that i think im doing my part more than your average stray-feeder—i spend 1-2 hours each day trying to trap the cats. every day, from 4-5pm and sometimes later. i drop what im doing to spend time on it.

i have a folding chair to sit on and stake them out, a new implement of a bathroom mirror from a construction site that i set up next to the feeding station (to see the cats without startling them), and a large dog crate in which i put the food.

i recently caught 2 of the said stray cats last week and had them fixed and they will no longer be contributing to the environmental decline, nor will they ever produce litters. i’m working on a third.

i feed on my own property and i have caught and fixed and thus removed from the environment approximately 20 or more cats since i was like, i can’t remember—10, 11, 12. somewhere around there—i was in some degree of childhood when i started. i still use the same large dog crates i had back then to catch them. it takes weeks, sometimes months. sometimes a year or more in the case of my toughest one, an aggressive feral male who was causing issues in the neighborhood and who is now my housecat and best friend and wreaks no more havoc. i didn’t give up on him and it ended up being for the better bc no one else was going to give enough of a shit to spend the time it was going to take to catch him. (i’ve said this before but, i had to go on 3 rounds of antibiotics bc he kept biting me horribly every time i tried to catch him)

all this to say: my success in catching stray cats is owed largely to my patience and my willingness to spend hours gaining their trust by feeding them and having them associate my presence with food and fresh water.

so i know it’s not without criticism to feed them, but i do put in hours and hours each week feeding these strays specifically to try to catch them—and i often succeed. (edit: i don’t always. there are a few cats i don’t know if i’ll ever be able to catch, but i won’t stop trying.)

this is what ive been doing my whole life and i will continue to try to make an impact on my local environment in this unique way. i don’t expect others to understand my methods and the specific way that i do things (it’s different for each cat depending on how i assess their personality and needs and habits etc etc), but the fact that i’ve removed 20 or more strays from my neighborhood over the last decade or so is an impact that matters, i think.

especially since i pay out of my own pocket to take them to the vet, to fix them, vaccinate them, and treat them for any and all ailments, and i also have housed them myself or rehomed them. it’s a huge drain on my resources but it’s one i am happy to do for the rest of my life. not least bc no one else in my area is bothering to do anything about them.

so—take that for what you will. that’s my contribution and it’s not perfect but i think i do a good job at reducing the number of stray cats in my local ecosystem and i have to conclude that because of that i MUST have reduced a lot of the environmental destruction that they would’ve otherwise done. much better than anyone else who lives around here, that’s for sure.

tl;dr—i am basically doing the job my local animal care & control is supposed to be doing about stray cats, for free, by myself, at my own expense and on my own time—and i 100% cannot do that job without feeding them

edit: i didn’t mean for this to sound as defensive and doth protesting as it did—i realize i’ve never quite explained exactly What it is i do with regard to stray and feral cats, and of course i can’t expect others to read my mind or know my life and motivations just from scattered posts i make lol. i hope i answered your question somewhat, and im happy to answer any more that you have.

[nico-di-genova]

pleaseee share any pato/alex headcanons for alib? i miss them an unhealthy amount

I miss them, and I’m the one creating them. My brain when I think about ALiB Palex is honestly just this:

Which makes it hard to have cohesive thoughts about them most the time. But have this random headcanon dump:

They have a method when it comes to chores. Pato does the laundry, but Alex folds and puts it away. Alex cleans the kitchen, but Pato organizes/cleans out the fridge (and also washes the dishes because Alex hates touching wet food). They work around each other, basically in synchrony. If Lance and Fernando are ever over for dinner and they stay to try to help clean they usually just find themselves standing off to the side kind of watching Alex and Pato work together effortlessly.

They love beach days. Usually if they’re going to the beach it is a full day affair. Sometimes they rent a whole beach house because they need to get away from work and regular life for a bit. Pato has a favorite one at Anna Maria island that Alex is always sure to get if they’re looking to leave the Fort Myers area for the weekend. The dogs also love the beach, so there’s long walks along the shoreline in the morning and afternoon with pauses for Norbi and Nala to play and chase each other. They rent jet skis and race each other with no real finish line set. Afternoons are spent watching the sunset and lounging on a blanket, pato resting his head on Alex’s chest and starting to doze off to the sound of heartbeat. Pato always gets sunburnt, because he’s insistent on layering sunscreen on Alex’s back but usually forgoes his own. He’ll insist he doesn’t need it but then ends the weekend looking like this:

Alex learns to start stocking up on aloe Vera when they stop at the grocery story for sandwiches and snacks in the morning. Pato is always very grateful for it come nighttime when he’s laying in bed with overly warm skin.

Their wedding is perhaps a beach wedding at the beach house. The dogs are the ring bearers ofc 😌. Lance is Pato’s best man, James is Alex’s. Esteban actually gets certified so he can officiate the wedding.

They adopt a third dog after their honeymoon, because Brunner needs to be apart of alib, obviously.

They’re both super active. Alex because he likes the routine of working out, the consistency of it, and because it’s really good for his mental health. Pato for the same reasons, but also because he’s just really passionate about it, about taking care of his body (but he also maybe goes overboard occasionally). So they workout together sometimes, not all the time, they like having their space. When Pato wants to do intense lifting Alex is usually his spotter.

They buy insane amounts of dog toys, and Alex spends an equally insane amount of time trying to organize them.

Arguments over who’s going to drive are common, they both hate being the passenger because they both hate not having control of the car. Usually this is settled with rock paper scissors, sometimes they get inventive.

Alex is always going all out for Pato’s birthday, but he hates the same attention in return. Pato’s learned he’s more comfortable doing things when it’s just the two of them, or a close group of friends. One year he takes Alex horseback riding, calls around until he can find the best place with the most secluded trails. He makes sure it’s not all flat land and empty fields, tries to find a place that has towering pine trees because he knows Alex likes the woods. It ends up being one of Alex’s favorite birthdays.

Before they started dating, when they were in the extended friends with flirty vibes zone and Pato would spend the night a lot, they got really into Mario kart. Alex is always insisting they play the N64 version, ‘the real one’ as he calls it. He consistently beats Pato in every race until one day Pato starts coming over and just kicking his ass out of nowhere. Turns out he bought his own console and game and had been playing with Esteban and Lance until he eventually got good enough to beat Alex. He was training, as he likes to call it, though Alex is still trying to figure out ways he could have been cheating.

There was a massive hurricane that hit the area during Pato’s senior year, he rode the storm out at Alex’s place. This is how he finds out Alex has a fear of storms, and also how they both find out Norbi and Nala share this trait. Pato isn’t necessarily cool with them, but he ends up playing the cool and collected one by default.

The first time Pato kisses Alex he’s a little drunk, and it’s impulsive. Alex doesn’t kiss him back, because he doesn’t want Pato to feel like he’s taking advantage of him. Instead, he waits until he’s sober and then kisses him properly.

[theladyoracle]

✧ General Creepypasta Headcanons ✧

𖦹⭒°｡⋆𖦹 The Lady Oracle's AU 𖦹⋆°｡⭒𖦹

Featuring: The Slenderman, Jeff the Killer, Jane the Killer, BEN Drowned, Eyeless Jack

a/n: Just jotting down some of the general headcanons that have been piling up in my notes app! Honestly it's so much that its starting to lag down the note LOL!

Also I take requests so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE shoot them into my ask box!

cw/tw: mention of murder (obvi), mention of torture, mention of vomiting, implications of 'incidents', implications of cannibalism

The Slenderman/The Operator

10ft tall...and then some

He/Him/It

Goes by both Slenderman and the Operator. The only difference is that he makes his Proxies only address him as the Operator. Denizens (lower ranking creeps, I'll make another post about this probably for my au...) are allowed to address him as either. This is to make sure that the Proxies don't get 'too friendly' with him

Seldom cares about anything going on between the people who live in the manor unless it directly affects him. Will actually get so annoyed if people bother him with petty problems or drama. He only cares about his things, his home, and his business

Is basically a dirty, evil capitalist landlord

Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss fr fr /hj

Is very supernaturally inclined. Reads books, casts spells, and brews potions. Is very knowledgeable of other realms, creatures, and magicks

Is very secretive with everyone in the Slender Woods. For all they know; he is the strongest, most powerful entity there is in the woods and they should fear him. This is how Slenderman likes to keep things

Out of touch with humanity, but sometimes its really funny! He will forget that humans need food to survive, and finds it 'inconvenient' that they need air to breathe...okay maybe its only funny to me

He finds some human things charming! Like fashion - he has a tie for every occasion and always wants to look presentable. He also loves a good riddle

Thrives with paperwork. Literally has a contract for every Proxy and Denizen. Loves structure

Will call the Denizens his 'children' at times....but will seldom ever call his Proxies his children. Proxies are regarded more as property or dogs than they are people

Jeff the Killer

Denizen (at age 21)

Is 29 years old

He/Him/His

5'10 with wide shoulders, a thin waist, and moderate muscle mass

I headcanon Jeff to be half Korean (on his mother's side) I believe this due to the traditional pronunciation of Liu's name

Loves using a knife as his primary murder method because its intimate - he truly considers it to be an art

Is close with BEN. He sees BEN as like a younger sibling (similar to Liu.) So he spends a lot of time barging into BEN's room (much to his distaste) and annoys the fuck out of him. I think he does this because he's pretty lonely too but doesn't want to admit it...

Before his psychotic break, he was obsessed with other famous serial killers. His other hobbies before murdering his parents include: manifestos, torture methods, and anatomy

Is a total metal head - doesn't listen to anything except for alternative music

Will totally ask you to "name 3 songs" if you're wearing a band t-shirt (even if he doesn't know the band...)

Owns a tattoo gun! Is really fucking bad at giving tattoos.....

BEN Drowned

Denizen

He/Him/His

I think of BEN as a sort of shapeshifter. Taking inspiration from the game Majora's Mask, I like to think that BEN is able to change his "skin" to however he wants to appear, but has a default form that gradually changes (so for example depending on who he chooses for a victim, he can portray himself as a 12 year old boy, a teenager, or even older) but his default form is one that can age as though he never drowned as a boy

This isn't just limited to age - he can use this to look as freaky as he wants. Usually this is just to make himself look more uncanny for his victims

I don't think BEN in my AU is the ghost of Ben Lawman (the boy who drowned) I think that Ben Lawman's essence was twisted and possessed by something inherently evil during his death

When he was found in the woods, the Slenderman saw the wicked potential that this new entity possessed and offered him a deal

Probably like 5'5"-5'6"

Skinny, like really skinny - despite how much he eats

BEN is a total incel :/

Frequent Discord, Reddit, and Twitch user

Despite the Slenderman giving him the incredible gift to age as if he never died, he is still so fucking immature. it's like dealing with a child

He always seems annoyed when anyone comes to talk with him. He takes everything as an attack and has the crudest, most annoying, immature sense of humor

He has to be bribed to do LITERALLY ANYTHING

His room smells like dirty socks and vape juice

Literal definition of "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM I'M PLAYING MINECRAFT"

Jane the Killer

Denizen

28 years old

Latina

Lesbian

She/her/hers

5'7" . Soft hourglass-shaped build with strong thighs and legs!

She is a woman of science and logic, and is overall just a very intellectual woman - lowkey kind of nerdy, it's sweet if you get to know her

Comes across as 'no nonsense' to newbies and people who don't know her well, but she's secretly very sarcastic and clever! She has the realest conversations, and is a powerful ally to have

There are a lot of rumors about her in the manor, because she seems to be the Slenderman's favorite

Oftentimes is doing a lot of household errands or chores for the Slenderman as part of her contract

Helps compile mission files for targets (sometimes helps with research, but mostly puts them together and then serves the assignments underneath resident doors)

Does the interrogations and initiation processes for new recruits to the manor (asks them questions to build their contract, shows them around, etc)

Quick-witted and sarcastic - doesn't let anyone talk shit to her. Literally no misogynistic comment goes by unchecked. She absolutely tears into the creeps that come at her

Has an absolute adoration for old horror films, true crime, and investigation shows

She loves solving mysteries or puzzles. Brain teasers and riddles are totally her thing! But...is like way too good at it. I mean, she can guess the answer to any riddle first or second try, and she's ALWAYS guessing the ending of movies within the first fifteen minutes. It kind of takes the fun out of everything

Usually likes to spend her down time alone. She feels like the 'mom' of the mansion otherwise (and hates when she feels like that)

Eyeless Jack

5'11" with a slim yet muscular build

25 years old

He/Him/His/They/Them

EJ is exceptionally intelligent - both in creative problem solving and just in general with his anatomical knowledge

He's is so quiet in everything he does. Sometimes this is comforting and sometimes its creepy. He's silent. He types quietly, he wraps wounds quietly, he cleans quietly....kind of just a strong and silent type kind of dude

He is the only resident of the manor that the other creeps feel safe and comfortable getting care from, because he actually keeps a sterile and clean environment while he performs operations

KIND OF RANDOM! But I think his parents were total hippies (literal cultists)

I like to think he was a vegetarian before the incident :'(

His skin looks super ashy gray but it's actually super smooth - he moisturizes all the time in attempts to get his radiant glowy skin back but it never really works with his dark gray skin

Has to wear eye masks to bed so that the ooze doesn't get all over his pillows and sheets. Usually he doesn't care if it drips on him or his clothes, but hates when he wakes up and it's all over his face

Cannot eat anything besides human organs without vomiting - and HATES vomiting. Like he's developed somewhat of a fear of it now...especially how it looks when it comes up

That's just about it for now! Thanks byyyeeee~!

xoxo -Oracle

[soapisahimbo]

Hi, I’m totally the person that had no clue who konig was. I’m pretty new to this fandom and to writing these characters, do you have any tips on writing them? (I need total help writing anything about Simon he’s so distinct)

Oof, I mean I can try, I'm not really good with tips 😂 we'll go at them one at a time, yeah? Keep in mind that this is just my personal interpretation of these characters and that others might not agree to these at all lol

Soap can easily be written off as comic relief, and he is sometimes, but I think his humour and timing comes from a place of wanting to make others feel at ease, to calm the nerves. He wants others to see him as easygoing because he wants them to be comfortable around him. He's very friendly and very respectful of people's boundaries and does his absolute best not to cross them, and he also expects others to respect his. He's loyal to a fault and cares a lot about his teammates, which makes it that much more contrasting when he's faced with someone he doesn't trust. All that friendliness and warmth and banter is long gone. He's smarter and sharper than others might think, calculative and quick on his feet, adjusts and adapts quickly. A lot of people think he's just the clown of the team, but it's easy to be fooled, and he uses that to his advantage.

Simon is definitely a challenge to write. Just don't fall for the "I can fix him"-narrative. He's been through a lot of intense trauma and he's very hardened because of it. He's not going to just randomly open up one day - gaining his trust can be a long and arduous process, and while it is strong when gained, it's near impossible to regain when lost. He keeps even his closest people at arm's length, mainly for his own safety in case someone were to turn on him, because he knows that anyone can have the capacity to stab him in the back. He does care, though. He's not an emotionless robot, he just doesn't let much, if anything, show. If he does, it's subtle. He can also, kind of like Soap, revert to humour to ease tension and nerves, and it usually works, but not because his jokes are actually funny. His humour is just very dark and dry, and people are usually just surprised that he even makes jokes that it snaps them out of whatever anxiety they were feeling in the first place (he thinks he's a comedic genius). Otherwise he's very cold, very methodical, there is very little that can disturb him or make him uneasy. Shuts his emotions off and moves quickly on, even if he's hurting.

Gaz can also be a bit of a challenge, mostly because he tends to sit on the backburner for a lot of people in the fandom. Has a very strong sense of justice and fairness, wants to do good by his team, his friends, the world. Loyal to a fault, much like Soap, but not blind. He'll question even his highest superiors if he thinks something is amiss. Incredibly attentive and attuned to who and what's around him, very little actually passes under his radar. He's quite friendly though, and can crank up the charm when needed (or wanted). He's cheeky, likes to push buttons to see what elicits the funniest response, although he's careful not to take it too far. He doesn't need to try hard to make others feel at ease, they just do. Also gets underestimated because of his young age, and because others think he's Price's lap dog, but Price brought him into the team for a damn good reason. He's quite a force to be reckoned with.

Alejandro is... hot. And I don't mean that like "sexy", I mean that as like, his manners, his sense of justice, his morals - it's a constantly burning fire within him, and he gains people's loyalty by that fire. He warms others up by that fire. He always finds something to keep fighting for, and he wants others to find that as well. Complacency is humanity's biggest enemy in his eyes. He cares greatly about his team, knows every single person in Los Vaqueros by heart and would give his life to save even just one of them. He wishes he could spend more time with his family, but what he does, he does to keep them safe. He leans very much into that "traditional masculinity" of being the protector, not because he thinks he has to be, but rather because he wants to be. He knows all the telltale signs of a good fighter, and he knows how to turn the good into the best. Very courteous, very clever, almost irrevocably loyal, hot-blooded and strong. He's the guy you want on your side.

Rodolfo is honestly very tricky for me to write because there's not as much info on him as the other characters. He's quite similar to Gaz in a lot of ways - he wants to do good, he wants to help, he wants to leave the world a better place than it was when he entered it. Blindly loyal to Alejandro and to Los Vaqueros, but only because he knows with his entire being that they would never betray him. He's incredibly dependable and trustworthy, eager to fight what he considers to be the good fight. He can be quite disarming and very charming, a bit reserved, and rarely comes across as any sort of threat to anyone. He's calm, levelheaded, attentive and is the type to stand by quietly and listen and that is why, I think, he's also underestimated. But just like Soap, he's smart and sharp, and just like Gaz, he's a force to be reckoned with.

I think people tend to forget that König is actually terrifying. Yes, he has severe social anxiety and he tries his best to shrink himself down, but social anxiety is not the same as shyness, and he's been trained to be ruthless on the battlefield. Even if it can make him self-conscious, he knows how to use his size to his advantage, and he is frighteningly agile considering how big he is. He keeps to himself, with the exception of a select few that he sticks to, doesn't say much unless spoken to. Has a tendency to just loom over everyone without meaning to. He's also the type to stare, but only because he's paying attention and he forgets that a 6'10 giant hooded figure standing in the shadows like 🧍‍♂️is usually nightmare fuel to most people. His view on justice can be a bit skewed because he's been taught not to ask questions. He's been manipulated by his peers and superiors for their own ulterior motives and he's been trained to believe that he's just a tool to be used, so while he doesn't lack confidence, the idea of self-worth is not one he's very familiar with.

I don't know how helpful this is or if these can even be considered tips, but I hope it can be of some assistance at least 😅

[mania-sama]

Hello,@mania-sama ... How are you?

"What do you think are x and y’s greatest personality strengths and weaknesses? Why? What do you love about their dynamic?"

So, just found this kinda ask for various ships, I was thinking to ask you, if you don't mind and have free time, of course.

For your fav ships: Shin Soukoku, ItaFushi, IwaOi, Klance or KevNeil (feel free to pick whichever you want to answer). 🌻🌷

thank you so much for the ask! glad to see you back; i know this is going to be a fun one! so sorry it took me so long to respond. i wanted to treat this with care, and i've been a bit busy as of late.

I'm doing very well, especially since you sent in an ask! I love answering these. You say to pick one, but I am extra. I am going to pick them ALL. Spending time breaking down my favorite ships will be a fun mental challenge for me. Because I did them all, I only really did one strength and weakness. And "what I love about them" is pretty much covered in my responses; I spare no details, I think.

So, proceeding in the order that you listed:

Shin Soukoku (Akutagawa Ryuunosuke/Nakajima Atsushi)

Strengths: They make each other better because they understand each other so well. Now, this may sound very general and very basic, as you can say this about most ships, but let me explain. Shin Soukoku's whole thing is how they violently push each other to be the best version of themselves that they can be, and they do this through the very unconventional methods of fighting and screaming harsh truths about each other in the middle of fighting. They claim that they do not understand the other's actions, but that is always, consistently, inherently untrue. Their actions prove otherwise. When Atsushi makes the suggestion that Akutagawa should not kill for 6 months, he does so under the impression that Akutagawa will follow through because he knows the kind of person Akutagawa is. When Akutagawa hands off his coat to create the Beast Beneath The Moonlight-Rashoumon singularity, he does so because he trusts Atsushi in this moment to take care of them both. Previously, he might have let them both drown, if to just take down his sword enemy.

What makes the ship so attractive to me is their clear yin-and-yang reflection: The good within the evil, and the evil within the good. SSKK is quite literally the same character, but one is flipped upside-down and pulled inside-out. That is also why they understand each other, and why they can grow so much despite always fighting and screaming insults; they each have a bit of the other in their soul. Akutagawa does know what it means to be good. He has goodness over his heart. Do you not understand his protection of his sister? His love for her, his inherent need to do something to give her a better life? Then there is Atsushi, who understands cruelty more than anyone else may. Who has a blood-red hand over his own heart, that wants to give in to the Beast, that wants to end it all where he stands. That maybe, for just a moment, wants to die. When I think of Shin Soukoku, I think of this quote Atsushi told Akutagawa, on Akutagawa's manipulation of Kyouka:

“People need to be told they’re worthy of being alive by someone else or they can’t go on.”

Read Bungou Stray Dogs: BEAST, and you'll get a much clearer picture of what I'm talking about.

Weaknesses: ... These guys are. Uh. Awful. To each other. I do not think it is healthy to be constantly trying to kill and/or maim your partner. I think it is very possible for them to become friends, as seen in the BEAST where they share sugar-filled tea together. I have latched onto this scene as it is proof that they CAN be friends, if it weren't for DAZAI. But I digress. A relationship built on constant assault and mistrust (in the beginning, and even now I think that they still tread close to each on the tips of their toes) does not make for a healthy one. As friends, they could probably arrange something. As a true romantic relationship? Absolutely not. Listen, I can pretend all I want that they grow old together, adopt five cats, have weekly water schedules for all of their plants, and do not bite and scrape at each other every ten minutes, but canonically, canonically, that is not the case. Neither of them function like that. They don't work like that. Akutagawa has PERSONALLY torn off Atsushi's leg TWICE. Atsushi LITERALLY blew Akutagawa up. With every encounter, they fight. And I fear fighting is all they will ever know.

Love comes in many forms. They can love each other, and respect each other, even, and maybe grow into the twisted form of trust and reliance that enemies tend to have, but their relationship should never stray into romantic. Neither of them deserve that. So, maybe, in an ideal world, they do have that happy ending. But Asagiri has decided he no longer believes in idealization, and I understand that. I do think there is a universe out there where they adopt those cats and water those plants, but that is not the current BSD timeline.

Maybe it's the BEAST timeline.

ItaFushi (Fushiguro Megumi/Itadori Yuuji)

Strengths: This is going to be cheesy as hell, but it's true: their greatest strength, in terms of their relationship, are that they have each other. In the beginning, their ideologies were quite different. Itadori believed, and still believes, that everyone should be saved and should be given a second. Megumi.... not so much. He believes whole-heartedly in the consequences of actions, that when someone shows signs of wrong-doing, they should be cut off like a strangling weed. Do not save those that should not be saved, and do not take risks where the risks aren't necessary. His issue with Mahoraga was never about taking risks; he was entirely willing to throw away his life for the win. That wasn't a risk, because winning is not a risk. Then, they meet each other. Megumi goes against his usual convictions and asks Gojo to save someone that should not be saved, someone who is going to, undoubtedly, cause irreparable damage to the world as he knows it. Itadori kills something for the first time. His eyes are opened to the nuances that plague the Jujutsu world. However, they are still strong where they stand, which is why they butt heads and have that argument in the detention center.

They grow from that, though. We see that they start to see each other's points of views without necessarily losing their main convictions. They grow, in essence. The second segment of why I believe each other to be their greatest strength comes from this: both of their lives are built around their strong relationships with their loved ones. They live for their loved ones. Nobara does not have this same issue; Megumi and Itadori, on the other hand, have much stronger ties to their respective family members. Itadori, with his deceased grandfather, and Megumi, with his sister. When those people are far out of view, it is each other that they begin to live for. It is each other that they strive to be better for. When Itadori is fighting Sukuna at the very end, it is not to save Jujutsu society. It is to save Megumi. He has lost all will to fight, except to follow through on his promise to save him. And Megumi sets his will to live on Itadori, in turn. He latches on and says, "I will try, if only for him."

Weaknesses: Man, their mental health fucking sucks. I am personally a non-believer in the last chapter of Jujutsu Kaisen, if only for the fact that we all know that that is not how mental health works. I have always been true in my belief that it is very hard to give well-received love if you cannot love yourself. To start with Megumi: he never really grew from his previous place. His mental health is still garbage. Living only for one person is diabolical work, and we can see how well it worked out for him when that one person was taken away from him the first time around. That is going to not only stress himself out, but stress Itadori out, who he's meant to be in a relationship with. Then, Itadori: why Gege decided to end the manga with Itadori smiling in sunshine and rainbows is crazy, because that is simply not true. Itadori ends up laying in the same exact boat Megumi is in: he fights only for Megumi. He doesn't care about living or dying or fixing anything. He just wants to save Megumi, and that is also diabolical work that will equally stress both of them out.

Yes, the manga ended with that issue not addressed, with Itadori seemingly content with the way he leaves. But that is simply not true when compared to two chapters before, where he was corroding himself with self-blame, for all the damage he has wrought for not being strong enough, for not being convicted enough, for not doing and doing and doing. And Megumi, like I said, circled back to the place he was in the beginning. As they are now in the manga, I don't think it'd be that bad. But according to my correct analysis, they have a whole lot of internal work to do before a romantic relationship would be completely healthy and fruitful.

IwaOi (Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru)

Strengths: This one is pretty obvious to me. Their greatest strength is, easily, that they are both strong, convicted characters. They believe in each other's strength; they believe in each other's abilities to pick himself up and carry on. And when one is struggling to do so, the other will waste no time in putting on a brave face and yanking him up. When I think about IwaOi, I don't think of the fist-bump scene like most people do. Instead, I think of the scene where Iwaizumi is falling apart after Karasuno defeats Aoba Johsai. He's standing there, stock still, replaying all of his screw-ups as if everything was his fault, that their loss is solely on his shoulders. That this is the end - there is no more high school volleyball, and he blew it. Then, a hard slap comes to his back, shocking his entire system. Pan to Oikawa, the KING of insecurity and self-blame, a boy who loves volleyball more than himself, enough that he is leaving the entire continent for a chance to play, who is hitting as hard and quick as he can. His face is pulled into an intense, mutated form of mutation. He is being strong, in this moment, because he knows he can when Iwaizumi is falling. And he doesn't let Iwaizumi fall - he's slapping his back and saying, "You are strong, too."

The best example of the vice versa is the scene where Oikawa is moving to slap Kageyama, and Iwaizumi blocks it. He grabs his wrist and proceeds to head-butt Oikawa in the nose (likely breaking it). He tells Oikawa, in not so few words: "You are better than this. You are stronger than this." Because he saw Oikawa, who is stronger than strong, falter. And he's saying that there is no use in faltering when you can just as easily keep going. That is what defines IwaOi.

Weaknesses: And here we get the double-edged sword: their strong convictions are exactly what drives them apart. Yes, canon IwaOi makes me want to want to commit very violent atrocities against the general public. They believe in each other too much, but they also believe in their own dreams and aspirations just as hard. While Oikawa may be an absolute king in self-hatred and doubt, he never once gave up in his dreams. He never once backed down. He always ran, and ran, and ran, even when he had no gas left in the tank. And Iwaizumi was right there with him, following his own dreams and goals. They are among the most highly successful people in the Haikyuu timeskip, and for good reason. Their dreams, their convictions, took them far. But it took them far from each other. Never once did they live in the same continent as each other again after graduation. Oikawa went to Argentina to pursue his dream, his conviction, and Iwaizumi went to the United States to pursue his dream, his conviction. They believe in each other enough to let each other go. And they believe in their own dreams enough to risk everything to obtain them. That is what kills them.

I don't think it would take down their friendship. It doesn't, in canon, not really; but I don't know how likely a romantic relationship between them could work. They would have to strain for even their friendship, in reality; they would have periods of drifting, weeks where they don't talk. They make their way back to each other eventually, of course, but that is how life goes, how it is growing up when the people around you are gone. Everything that they love, everything that they own and desire, is away from each other. And I do not believe either of them would be willing to give their lives up, when they know the other is doing just fine on their own with their own dreams.

Klance (Keith Kogane/Lance McClain)

Strengths: Functionally, Klance works very similarly to SSKK, only less... violent... which makes them much more palatable and much less toxic. They are rivals-to-lovers; their greatest strength undoubtedly comes from the fact that they have seen each other at their worst, have torn into each other at their worst, yet care regardless. If you can love someone when they are mentally at their lowest, then that makes for a very strong, very fruitful relationship. Additionally, this would make them very aware when they've crossed a line and truly made each other upset. At the point of true friendship and relationship, their boundaries would be quite clear to each other. Even when they piss each other off, they can make it up just as fast. They've learned how to let bygones be bygones. They know what toxicity looks like, and they know what love looks like. They balance each other out very well, additionally. Literally fire to heat the ice-cold water, and water to cool the raging fire. The show truly robbed us of captain right-hand-man relationship between Keith and Lance (because Keith was terrible at being the Black Paladin, and the show hates us). The scenes we did get weren't really about their leadership. It could've been a wonderful opportunity, but, you know, whatever. Nobody said Voltron was any good, anyway.

Weaknesses: Communication HATES to see these bitches coming. Even though I said their boundaries would be quite clear, that's not from any sort of good communication. It takes them crossing the boundaries and pushing those buttons for those lines to be defined. They have such trouble listening and communicating their true wants and desires that it's actually migraine-inducing. When they do say what they want, it's laced in the wrong tone. When the other hears what the other wants, it's like it gets filed into the wrong compartment of the brain. No, they do not get into screaming matches everyday. It's the slight irritations that get them. They love each other, yes, but god are they shit at showing it.

KevNeil (Kevin Day/Neil Josten)

Strengths: Well, this is a little hard to word, so forgive me if I am not clear in what I am trying to say. But I will try my best. Neil is brazen. When he is faced with Riko, or with anyone mocking himself or his friends, he blows up like fuse. He literally can't stop himself. When he's on the court, however, or when he is subdued into a corner to talk about his traumas or his family, he isn't as brazen. He is far more willing to take abuse on court then he is in any other situation. When a question pops about his father or his scars, his mind shuts down and all he wants to do is run. Enter Kevin Day, who may claim media training as the reason he's able to keep his cool. But that's not the case, not really. When faced with Riko, or someone threatening him, he wants to run. He sits there, his hands shaking and his face paling. He can take that abuse; he'll let it absorb and he'll say nothing. But when he's on the court, or when he's asked a question by his friends about his family and scars, he takes it with stride. Court, he's a menace. When Seth dies, he does not care much, not really. Neil self-blames, while Kevin can only think about how this would affect the lineup. He shouts orders and demands the best and beyond of everyone. He's braze, in those situations. When someone questions him on his family, he doesn't mind much. It may sting, and it may hurt, but that is something he can handle with ease. He knows who he is and what he's worth when it comes to his past and his position on court.

You can see, then, why they fit so well for each other. They exude their strong, brazen personality traits onto the other. Out of all these ships, they have the most evidence to prove my point and show how well they work for each other. They grow so much in All for the Game because they rubbed off on each other, like colors bleeding into one another.

Weaknesses: They both are extremely one-track minded. Lord, I fear they would never try out anything new if it weren't for their friends pushing them to, I don't know, get a hobby. But this also means that they may push each other to extreme limits, beyond those limits, on accident. They would blow up on each other, because neither of them have the grace nor ruthlessness that Andrew has to solve problems. When Neil attempts to get Kevin sober, it falls through miserably, I would think. They like to go beyond their comfort zone, but when it comes to these problems, they have to realize that the subtle approach is better. In reference to my first point on their strengths, they truly bring out the best in each other. Neil's inability to shut his mouth makes Kevin finally stand up for himself in the ways that matter. He changes his tattoo because he sees how Neil brazenly tackles his abusers by hurling abuse in return. He sees how Neil embodies controversy and decides, fuck it, it shouldn't be so bad. Let's change my tattoo. So, when they try to actively tackle issues that the other may have, it simply wouldn't work. They would go at it until it falls through, and the needle more until they are literally forced into an alternative route.

Again, thanks so much for the ask! Hopefully this was satisfactory.

[mdhwrites]

I love Raine, but I hated them as Eda’s love interest. Everything about their relationship felt forced to me, including how much Eda is supposed to love them. I wish they could’ve been introduced earlier possibly and with a more coherent/integrated role.

(But then I wonder if it’s just because they’re a non-binary character and I like the representation. Because without that aspect, the character honestly felt so useless and random.)

Maybe this is just a gripe I have with toh romance in general but like we’re supposed to believe Eda, who is considered King’s mom, would be putting him in danger with the collector just to stare at Raine?? Like come on. The romance in this show is so cringey to me.

It’s like how Luz reunites with everyone after defeating Belos and immediately shares a hug and kiss with Amity before her mom. 😑 like this is her mom who is seeing her for the first time after this whole nightmare and she didn’t even know if she’d be okay. I feel like she should’ve rushed to her and then Amity could’ve stepped in after. I guess honestly I’m just annoyed by the overemphasis on romantic partners in the show tbh. Could just be a personal problem

So there's a lot I can say about romance on this blog (romance writer has a lot to say on romance, shocking) and especially in regards to the genres TOH is in, both positively and mostly negatively. The thing I REALLY want to point out though is the dog shit treatment of Raine and how it truly emphasizes the fundamental problem of not just romantic relationships but ALL relationships in TOH. See, when Raine is introduced, we don't get a lot about their character. We understand that they are the caution to Eda's brashness and that while their caution is obvious, them having stage fright is actually a great way for Eda to have a way of breaking them out of their shell. Something her enthusiasm, especially as a child, could be useful.

And then we gets Falls and Follies where their stage fright is... Still their main character trait. And then we get Them's the Breaks Kid.

And suddenly, Raine isn't Raine. Now yes, kids can change as they grow up but stage fright is a fairly unique malady. It's not specifically social anxiety and it's not a phobia. It's genuinely about stepping on stage and freezing. That terror of performance. My drama director in High School said that she'd helped a lot of kids with it and the right course of actions were always repetition and exposure. That usually the lines came so naturally and their base confidence was so high that a successful dress rehearsal would make sure they didn't freeze come opening night.

It is something that fades with experience. And in Falls and Follies, Raine might still be the level head to Eda's rowdy behavior, but in the worst way. They're not the nervous kid who overthinks things and needs to be reminded to breathe but instead the smart, grade A kid who is so popular and so above everyone that they're bored by all the 'normies'. Edalyn is interesting in that she stands out, as well as being the strongest. Their is never even a hint of fear or nervousness in them.

This comes to its worst part in the moment that is supposed to tell everyone the two are destined for each other. The moment that the fandom was supposed to immortalize like the major Lumity moments. The moment Eda tries to bean Raine with a ball and Raine, unlike Lilith, catches it not just easily but with flair.

Or in other words, catches it just like Eda would. The moment that I think a lot of people, myself included, started realizing that Raine was just a love interest, just like Amity and then Willow for Hunter, instead of anything even resembling a character. After all, they spend this entire episode showing that they are a clone to Eda. Period.

It actually gets worse as the motivation to protect their loved ones is also an Eda one and they both do it in the same way by just trying not to include them and put distance between them. Their methods, ideologies, etc. like that are literally lock step with one another, just like Amity changes hers to be and Hunter ends up becoming like alongside Willow and Luz. A lot of people point this at as growth for the characters but I still argue that dissolving your own personality for your partner is not a good thing.

And do you want to know how much the writers KNEW Them's the Breaks was a mistake? Just a blatantly wrong choice to make? Well, see, Falls and Follies eventually came out with a second version of the episode with annotations. Little tidbits about the show and lore of the universe. I don't know really any of those tidbits except one, and that this WAS released after Falls and Follies.

"Raine developed stage fright during a production of the Isles version of Romeo and Juliet that they performed with Eda."

That's not word for word, I'm not looking this up for that, but that is what it summarized to. Or, in other words, they went back and had to retcon in stage fright for Raine. Stage fright they developed WITH the person who's dynamic with them should be to bring them out of their shell with.

The worst part? They probably don't see the contradiction. They instead likely went "We made a plothole in Them's the Breaks. What can we do this for shipping fodder?" And then someone else shouted, "MAKE IT SO RAINE GOT STAGE FRIGHT BECAUSE OF A PLAY THAT MADE THEM KISS EDA!"

Now no, that's not explicitly stated but besides just being lazy and referencing Romeo and Juliet (they did have a special name for it), that's the main reason I can imagine for that play causing that specific reaction. After all, Raine had performed for large crowds before. Even done things against the rules and off script in front of crowds and against a FUCKING COVEN HEAD. What could have possibly caused them to gain stage fright from a fucking play?

And if this sort of inconsistency was in a piece of fanfic or a person's personal webcomic and they just admitted to wanting the cute shipping moments, like Yoko Taro saying 2B is a beautiful woman because he likes pretty girls in his games, I would be more okay with it. In a show that is touted as so progressive, having such perfect representation, some of the best romances in television history, etc. etc...

Well, my response is that I guess there's a reason so many straight people have to deal with bland, inconsistent love interests if that's what nonbinaries and lesbians want too.

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