#or so says my therapist

[emberwritesinsight]

Stayed up literally all night on Tuesday for no good reason. Expected I'd be really sleepy on Wednesday, but instead I was VERY awake. And twitchy. Flinched at noise more than usual. Couldn't concentrate even medicated. Got bitten by the inspiration bug and did some animating in a haze of divine madness, that part was fun. Overall fucked up and stressful would not reccomend

[notedchampagne]

you want to be seen and understood specifically for what you sacrificed. thats why youre mad

[roebeanstalk]

help needed for bills & food

venmo

kofi paypal

cashapp

I owe my roommate for three months worth of utilities now, and it's to the point where I'm anxious to leave my bedroom again. I'm too anxious to double check the amount due but it's about $280 I think.

I'm really struggling to pull in commissions and having an incredibly rough time getting myself in a good spot to seek employment. working with my psych and therapist to try to get myself there but between scheduling issues and anxiety and a general Very Hard Time Doing Anything Ive been unable to make any real progress.

any help at all is super appreciated. donations and the occasional commission are the only way I've been able to stay afloat. thank you so much.

[clockworkreapers]

Vol 3 Jack really went though it huh

[bunnieswithknives]

I feel bad for neglecting Hazel so much, I do have many thoughts about her.. and also a mermaid au that im probably not going to do anything with

[mrmeepsmadmind]

i love when ppl draw bumblebee like the happy little creachure he is but also i love when people draw bumblebee like he's had 500 beers in the last 1 hour and still the pain won't even ebb

[wield-the-mighty-pen]

A kind reminder to everyone who had a problem with this scene:

That this is a symptom of PTSD:

Hope this helps!

[arty-tardigrade]

They HUG!

[deoidesign]

Random update sorry everything is taking so long. I've paused Patreon and I'm working on various things, but some people have started to express concern for my safety/living status so just letting you know I am alive!

[thatorangedrank]

Little is Alyx 👎🏻

Little is Penny 👎🏻

Little is a reflection of Ruby in Vol.1 and is a physical representation of “healing your inner child” 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

[pinazee]

I only have praise for how they’re writing Jim Kirk in SNW. Though perhaps I’m biased because i love this character.

Admittedly, at first, I didn’t like the guy. I thought Wesley was a terrible casting choice. he didn’t have the passion that Shatner and Pine gave him, and frankly just didn’t have the look for me.

But Wesleys Kirk is pulling out that soft, kind hearted nerd that we all know Kirk is.

In La’Ans AR, he listens to Sera despite her being “unhinged,” he smoothly steps forward to put himself between Sera and La’An and sacrifices himself to save the timeline- to save Sam.

Then the real Kirk, despite getting decked, thinks first of Uhura and doesnt want her to have to explain the hallucinations. He doesn’t write Uhura off either like Chapel and Spock did , he believes her. And then inserts himself into the problem because, as La’An said, hes “the type of person who cant walk past a stranger in need”. and then sticks around to make sure she is okay.

So yeah, maybe Wesley isn’t who would come to my mind initially for Kirk, but i love his interpretation of him. His Kirk cares deeply for others and thats the Kirk i know and love. Im looking forward to how they develop his relationship with Spock.

[whirlybirbs]

(sitting on the floor of my empty new apartment)

if satoru gojo was here everything would be ok

[blackbackedjackal]

As a Gévaudan Lycan, June’s design is supposed to give off an unknowable and melancholy energy.

Gévaudan Lycans are mimics, and their emotions alter their form, especially if they have little to no control of themselves when they shift.

The way June was changed into a lycan and her experience during first shift were extremely traumatic, and over time, her lycan form reflected her feelings of loss and self-loathing. She fronts as this charming and confident woman, while holding back her deeper emotions that eventually leached into the form that reflects her true self.

Fear, sadness, loss, and rage all mixed into this one entity she cannot control. Once a month, she's forced into facing all of those emotions, reliving that trauma again and again for nearly 30 years.

[lycandrophile]

i just got back from my first ever gynecological exam and somehow, despite the doctor being really nice and way more knowledgeable about trans bodies than i was expecting, it still ended up being incredibly upsetting and honestly probably mildly traumatizing. i’m sure it’s no secret to anyone following me that going to the gynecologist is a uniquely shitty experience for a lot of trans guys and i knew that but i really was not prepared for that.

first of all, everything you read says that the pelvic exam and pap smear shouldn’t hurt even if they’re super uncomfortable, but let me tell you, that shit fucking hurt. like, i have a pretty high pain tolerance and usually even when something does hurt i don’t show it very much, but that was maybe the most painful thing i’ve ever had a doctor do to me and it showed. to be fair, i’ve never had good luck with things like that — i couldn’t even use tampons back when i had a period because the one time i did, taking it out was really painful — and i’m on t now so i’m sure that makes things even harder and i was prepared for it to hurt, but i really wasn’t ready for just bad it was. it’s been an hour since the exam finished and there’s still some pain so, yeah, so much for “it’s just uncomfortable, not painful”.

(and a side note: when it did hurt, the doctor told me to relax my muscles because the tension makes it hurt more. what they didn’t seem to realize is that if your brain and body are collectively rejecting the presence of something inside you, making those muscles relax is a fucking herculean task and i for one was not in any way capable of it so it just…kept getting more painful.)

i also was never informed ahead of time of what a pelvic exam actually entails; i had assumed it was a more general external checkup, and that the pap smear was the only really invasive part. as it turns out, i was very wrong, and “pelvic exam” actually means the doctor sticks their finger up you to feel around. she asked me if i was comfortable getting the exam because it was so obvious that the pap smear didn’t go well, but i had no clue what i was saying yes to and it was a total surprise for me when there was something inside me again. and she knew it was my first time, so she had no reason to assume i knew that the exam would be like. by the time i realized i absolutely should not have said yes to it, i was too late and it was already happening. it really feels like common sense that if you’re going to be giving someone what basically amounts to a professional fingering, you should probably make it clear that that’s what’s about to happen, but i guess that doctor would disagree.

and of course, the whole time i was also being misgendered. the doctor used the right name for me, but the other staff didn’t and everything about it was so excessively gendered (i’m pretty sure the appointment i had was literally called a “women’s wellness visit” on the same sheet that had trans man and nonbinary as gender options). not to mention, when i told them i’m getting top surgery and have the exact date set, the nurse made a comment to like“well aren’t you one of the lucky ones,” which really felt like it had “i think trans guys have a super easy time getting surgeries that cis women have to fight for” energy.

and the irony of all this definitely isn’t lost on me — i just did a project this past semester about how trans guys are fucked over by reproductive healthcare practices so a lot of us just never go, and now i got some firsthand experience in exactly why so many of us just say “no fucking way”.

i just want to put this out there for anyone who hasn’t done it before because i think this would have been a lot less awful for me if someone had just told me “yeah, it might hurt way more than you think, and also that thing they call a pelvic exam is actually an internal exam.” i thought i was prepared and i totally wasn’t, so hopefully this will reach someone else who will be better off knowing all of this.

[3-aem]

my toxic trait is i cant accept the roll over and die mentality even when someone tells me theres nothing u can do im always like arson is an option forever btw

[blenselche]

i have the next page of erasure laid out and a new tablet coming. gonna give my current one to a friend's kid that seemingly eats sketchbooks, hopefully that'll help lol. "I wanna support her but in this economy I'm ready to just buy a pack of shitty printer paper and call it a day."