#or peer pressure cause no one rps anything else

[my-rp-commentcomplaints]

can you believe the shut down of parp is what got me to rp homestuck again

[drake-the-incubus]

/rp

EDIT: Added a read more, the post had been originally written on mobile

For context, unless stated otherwise for the most part, this is the roleplay dynamic.

Ayyy, been seeing some Dream SMP takes on Tommyinnit’s character development that are pretty uh, piss poor. I want to point some obvious things out to people. Especially following the Technoblade/Tommyinnit team disbanding.

Techno isn’t right. Techno was certainly not in the right there, and Tommy didn’t do anything that regressed his character either, his entire character came to a development.

Let’s Start by pointing out that Wilbur has posted their Dungeons and Dragons Alignments, where Techno is Lawful Neutral and Tommy is Chaotic good. (For sake of the post, Tubbo is Lawful Good.)

So I’m going to break down exactly what was going on there and how it developed the characters.

If we go by Technoblade first, I’m seeing a lot of people say he’s better than Dream- he is- and therefore Tommy shouldn’t have left. Which is true, Techno is better than Dream, but he’s just like Wilbur. Watching from Technoblade’s POV, you notice that he starts carrying a book of the To-Do List he intends to do with Tommy. Outlining that he wants to destroy L’Manburg and tried, at almost every chance he got, to convince Tommy to do so.

Tommy said no, he didn’t want to destroy L’manburg, because he cared for it. He outright said no, he JUST wanted his discs back.

Techno concedes, saying Tommy doesn’t have to participate, only after failing to convince him many times.

Techno the entire time, tried to convince Tommy that Tubbo wasn’t his friend, that Tubbo obviously doesn’t care for him. (Not true, as Tubbo literally mourned him and thought he was dead and it destroyed him.) Which is EXACTLY what Wilbur did.

This is an isolation tactic. Techno used ANY means necessary to try and recruit Tommy. Because his character doesn’t care about interpersonal relationships so long as he gets his goal- possibly excluding Phil. His entire character sticks to one set of Morals and set of laws he’s self imposed. (Canonically refusing to truly give up violence).

1. Governments are bad.

2. Governments must be destroyed.

3. The means justify the ends so long as it destroys the government.

Technoblade’s character gets a lot of sympathy, which is cool, but I want to point out while he personally was felt betrayed, he never was.

Techno from the start, was anti-government. Willing to destroy it all so long as another country was never rebuilt. That was his only condition.

Except he KNEW everyone else wanted L’manburg back, that’s what the fight was about. It was very transparent that everyone else was working for L’manburg back.

The three people who wanted it destroyed? Wilbur, Dream and Techno.

Techno wasn’t betrayed, he chose to ignore the goals of his allies until it came time that everyone took back L’manburg. He ignored knowledge that was given to him plenty of times, by Tommy himself even. They wanted L’manburg back. Techno talks of betrayal, but when Tommy points out that Techno betrayed them, he falters and excuses himself.

Which brings Tubbo into the mix. Tubbo was an ally, and he was working with them, WILLINGLY, to give information because he wanted to take down Schlatt and return L’manburg to how it was. He was trapped, scared and wanted help. In the festival, when Technoblade shoots him, THAT is a clear act of betrayal. Techno kills Tubbo, at Schlatt’s orders, betraying Tubbo and Tommy’s trust in him as he worked, clearly, for the other side, against their collective goals.

Techno claims the ends justify the means, and that he was under mild amounts of peer pressure. This is an example of his character. He doesn’t feel bad for hurting his ally, because they got something out of it. If it suits him, he WILL hurt his allies to get ahead in his goals, and he will say anything to justify it.

Tommy’s character cannot agree with this. He values friendship the most, and would give up his goals for his friends, as a true Chaotic Good, he values his friends and the people around him, over any law or morals, and would break his laws and morals for it.

He couldn’t understand Techno shooting Tubbo, because he wouldn’t. There wouldn’t be a force on the SMP that could make him shoot Tubbo in Techno’s place. They have too widely different views, where Tommy values friendship and people, Techno values ideals and goals.

So, we’re not even done and this is pretty long, let’s cover Tommy and the discs. The entire plot device for season one and two.

Tommy’s attention to the discs are goal oriented, to get back his discs no matter the costs, yeah? Except I feel like some of you have no idea where this goal came from. Tommy gave up the discs before, despite fighting for them desperately, so his friends could have L’manburg. He fought desperately, to have those discs back initially, as a war against Dream.

“Before this, before everyone, before L’manburg, it’s always been me and you, against Dream.” Tommy to Tubbo, before the Pogtopia vs Manburg war. (Might not be a true quote.)

This isn’t just a cute little moment, Tommy CARES for Tubbo deeply, they’re some of the closest friends on the SMP. He fought Techno because Techno killed Tubbo. It was personal for him, that is his best friend and he would do anything for him.

Tommy does, do anything for Tubbo, promising that no matter what, it will be the both of them. That they will always be together. This isn’t showing his hero complex, this isn’t a show of some inherent flaw. This is Tommy’s closest and most valuable interpersonal relationship. Chaotic Good Tommy values his friendships deeply.

So when Techno continuously tries to pressure Tommy into believing Tubbo and him aren’t friends, that Tubbo doesn’t care, and so they should hurt Tubbo to get the discs back, Tommy refuses. He refuses over and over again, claiming he trusts Tubbo will give back the disc.

Technoblade uses the framework Dream made, by the way, to accomplish this. He takes Tommy’s fragile mental state and uses that to his advantage. He does what Wilbur does, and almost succeeds. Tommy falters, believing momentarily that Tubbo doesn’t care. Something Dream was trying to convince him of in his isolation. Which isn’t true. Tubbo, upon learning Tommy is dead, is in disbelief and despair.

Let’s talk about the hostage situation for a moment. Tommy tells Tubbo off for not coming to his beach party, and that he was never visited, never received letters, and he was told the same thing from Tubbo as Wilbur said; “I wasn’t invited. I did send you things.”

The broken relationship we see? It’s falsely constructed by Dream. That bond exists still, fractured because someone came in with the intentions to break and destroy Tommy’s interpersonal relationships and manipulate him.

Tommy’s exile arc, was an abuse arc. Tommy was regularly abused by Dream. Techno profited off it, and used Tommy’s fragile mental state to try and achieve his goals, not even trusting Tommy until, in his fragile state, they both threaten Fundy. Techno sees this as commitment to the cause.

Tommy wanted his discs, Techno wanted L’Manburg destroyed.

So when the community house was destroyed, and we get that scene with Techno going with Tommy, they both have a moment. But I’ll address that in a second.

First, Tommy rushes in to defend himself, saying he didn’t destroy the community house. That he was innocent.

Tubbo doesn’t believe him. Why? Because Tommy does this. Tommy destroys things, he burned George’s house (taking the fall for Ranboo), he did plenty of things.

Tommy and Tubbo fight, and Tommy says, “the discs were worth more than you ever were”. This line, I’ve seen it interpreted many ways, one being he used to value the discs over Tubbo, and another being his values as a character.

It’s neither, by the way. It’s a heat of the moment comment, it shocks Tommy into silence, he instantly regrets it. He hates that he said it. Tommy’s goals, in that moment, change, based on his alignment. His goal doesn’t matter, if it’s hurting the people he cares for. It’s hurting Tubbo, it’s time to get rid of the goal.

In that instant, the discs do not matter. They mean nothing. Tommy doesn’t care for them. This is the moment that he GROWS as a character. Instead of obsessively wanting the discs and harming his friends for it, he is willing to let them go so he can foster his friendship. His arc, comes to an end. He doesn’t choose to be a hero again, that’s not what that is. No, he chooses his friend, the one he’s put so much faith and trust into, over something he has realized doesn’t mean more.

He tells Tubbo to give the disc to Dream, because he doesn’t care about them anymore, the sentimentality he has with them and Tubbo mean nothing if he loses Tubbo. Chaotic Good, he chooses the people over his goals and morals (which change on a whim).

Techno, who was using the discs to get Tommy to cooperate, who only recently thought Tom y and him were equals, is enraged because he can’t understand it. He can’t understand Tommy giving up his goal, because he couldn’t. His goals and ideals, they never went away in retirement, he was always wanting to destroy the government, he was planning it behind Phil’s back even. Everything he did was in preparation for a war. I think, even without the execution, Techno would have gone back to his ideals to destroy the government.

Which is why Techno, is angry. He feels betrayed, because once again, the outcome that was obvious happened, and someone stuck to their own words. Tommy would never harm Tubbo, and he wasn’t going to help Techno against L’Manburg.

But Tommy doesn’t do it maliciously against Techno, willing to even try and stay friends, showing he still cared for him. Tommy values his friends, including Techno in that moment.

What Techno sees is Tommy’s betrayal, Tommy broke their alliance because his goal is gone. “Help me get back the discs.” Tommy said when they made that deal. That no longer applies, Tommy was never intending on helping with the destruction of L’Manburg or the death of his friend.

Techno, once again, convinced himself that he would be assisted in his goal despite the vocal outcry against it.

So what does Techno do? He gets revenge. He teams up with Dream immediately.

That’s Techno’s character. Interpersonal bonds mean nothing if they get in the way of his goal, but he doesn’t go out of his way to purposefully destroy them. The MOMENT Tommy isn’t with him, Techno doesn’t have an issue with Dream or what he’s done.

Techno willingly teams up with Tommy’s abuser, because he gets his goal.

Tommy, who still cares for Techno is in shock at this. He sees Techno as a friend, like Tubbo. This hurts him.

Techno, later, even goes on to say he doesn’t care for friends so long as the people he’s with share his ideals, ending into the extreme of his alignment.

Techno has never been a good guy. He’s an antagonist of the SMP. Particularly, he’s not a villain, but antagonist. He’s an obstacle. Not via his person, but his goals.

And he wins, and he tells Tommy, “you never saw me as a person, only a weapon, you betrayed me twice now”.

Tommy, who has seen them as friends, after Techno broke their friendship off the first time with the withers, counters, “and what of Schlatt and what you did to Tubbo”.

Which Techno dismisses as, “in the past” and “it doesn’t matter”. To Techno, it’s not relevant how he treats others, his betrayal to other people doesn’t matter, just the perceived betrayal towards himself.

In the end, Techno is blinded by his beliefs. They controlled him to the extremes. To the point where he would burn any bridge made to keep them.

But Tommy? Tubbo? They gave up L’Manburg, to make their own little place. No vocal apologies were given, yes, and they should address that, but they gave up the country to be together as friends.

And for anyone wondering, Tommy and Tubbo are friends again, through action. Tommy, contrasting his words, gave the discs up to repair his friendship.

Techno, true to his word, destroyed the country and killed anyone who stood in his way. Even going out of his way sometimes to target Tubbo and Tommy.

In short, Techno was a second Wilbur to Tommy, and it shows that some people ignored the subtle manipulation attempts to achieve his goal. Is he as bad as Dream? No, not even close actually. But he’s as bad as Wilbur.

I also want to point something out on ages. Techno is canonically an adult. Tommy is a child, a kid. He’s a kid. The dynamic between them was skewed.

Techno saw a kid, in distress, and in a poor mental state, and tried to manipulate him.

When the kid figured out he didn’t want his goal anymore, he backed out. Techno punished him, by repeating what would be a huge source of trauma for him.

Techno tried to destroy L’Manburg, and succeeded. And he told Tommy that, “you could have just sat out”.

Tommy couldn’t. Because Tubbo is, and always will be, his closest friend. He values his bonds, but he promised Tubbo it was the two of them.

As Philza is the exception to Techno’s alignment, the promise to Tubbo is the exception to Tommy.

There was no betrayal, but a shift in goals and ideals from Tommy, which lead to Tommy and Technoblade no longer needing to be allies.

The narrative isn’t supposed to be black and white, that’s most of the characters. Techno being a big perpetrator of this. The narrative is a morally Grey area, where you can side with whoever you want.

That’s it, that’s the meta.

- Signed, A Techno and Tommy apologist

[wewinbees]

“you only saw me as a weapon!” an in-depth analysis of tommy and techno’s relationship /rp

a mild focus on techno’s thoughts since it’s his speech, but not one or the other is in the right here. a lot of this might have been said, but this is a BIG collection from pogtopia to doomsday to address as many angles as possible. to preface, i don’t think tommy sees techno as a weapon and nothing else, but the point remains that techno feels like he does, and that’s important.

this is from like january btw lol

we’ll start with “the blade” tommy’s nickname for techno, which got adopted by a lot of the server (as tommy’s nicknames tend to be). most other people have the Big [X] format, but techno gets this specialised nickname. i think the reason he developed a negative association with it was because of when it was used; when they need him for fights. the most important would be the vault reveal, with wilbur getting everyone to victoriously chant “we have the blade!” to boister morale. this would have been fine in and of itself, if it weren’t for the events of the rest of the day and what that name would come to represent. it ends up becoming a taunt to him, because that’s what people get close to him for. his use to them as the blade rather than his friendship to them as technoblade

tommy’s always very happy to call in techno for help, and techno usualy sorts it out with... minimal effort required. i do see this more as a blend of tommy’s pride in knowing techno and smugness at having that kind of upperhand in a fight over him viewing techno solely as a weapon to use, but this still ends up being detrimental to their friendship because of how much it happens. remember, the entire reason techno joined the server was to help wilbur and techno form pogtopia. techno doesn’t mind helping tommy out, but at some point it’s going to be frustrating, being called in for any and all minor struggles. but in the end of the day, it’s fine, because they’re brothers under the same cause. destroying manberg. Oh Wait.

the main issue came after the festival, with that faith and trust tommy had in techno being shattered; rightfully so, because watching tubbo get murdered was traumatic for him, because for tommy the pit was no way to settle that conflict (which reminded, wasn’t techno’s suggestion, it was proposed and pushed onto them by wilbur). since tommy sees technoblade as unbeatable, he couldn’t understand why techno was so easily peer-pressured by manberg. he was threatened by how many people were against him, he was stressed dealing with the voices telling him to do it, he didn’t see any other way out, he wasn’t getting any support from his only other allies even though he was looking right at them and they still did nothing.

but tommy didn’t understand because he thought techno could have won. techno did try to stall as well, but without orders from his friends he ended up following schatt’s, and once he realised he had the power to kill everyone on stage, he just gave into that power. the miscommunication during the pogtopia arc was why techno felt as betrayed as he did, and why the victim complex argument annoys me so much, since he was kept in the dark for that long while grinding resources for the army. also, since techno wasn’t there for l’manberg’s peaceful days or the start of the disc saga he would never understand how important those attachments were to people, so he’d feel little remorse blowing them all up (especially since he knew that was the backup plan for pogtopia anyway, and just because people were unhappy about it didn’t change the fact that it was a plan)

a lot of people say that techno should have known that pogtopia’s goal was to form a new government, that at some point he should have overheard the real plan. everyone agreed to ‘destroy manberg’ (as in the government not the land) but somehow techno never found out about the ‘restoring l’manberg’ part of the plan. how that happened, who knows, but in the end of the day, the writers chose for that miscommunication to happen for the story. it’s not a how or a why, it’s just a fact that was written in. he didn’t find out until it was right in front of him, and he was bound to feel betrayed by that, enough that he was driven to do something irrational. my personal theory is that techno was mainly following wilbur’s orders, and because wilbur was the real traitor, chances are he never mentioned any forming of a new government since he knew that would lose techno’s support. wilbur was probably using techno as a weapon, that was his mentality for a lot of people back then, but since he was the leader of pogtopia then that negative transference carried on to the rest of the members for techno, most of all tommy as he was the other key founder, and not as underhanded about getting techno’s help. i’d say wilbur’s address of techno during the final speech was the a key reason as to why techno doesn’t feel as used by him than he is with tommy, solidifying the anarchy bros before dying, meaning anything else could be revealed.

after the war, the bedrock bros were completely alienated from eachother. tommy started to blame everything about l’manberg’s destruction on techno, since wilbur died and ghostbur isn’t really at fault for anything. techno distanced himself from everything, going into retirement for the unforeseeable future because he felt like his violent anarchist tactics were futile and grew tired of constant conflict. he talked to tommy a few times during retirement, and every single time, he asks tommy how the government was working out for him. when he was at risk of being exiled, just before being exiled and immediately after exile. he wanted tommy to see the government in the same light as he did, because when l’manberg sold him out he realised they were the same. they’d both been betrayed by the government and from that point on he fully believed tommy would be better off away from l’manberg. but every time tommy said no, because he believed in the original dream wilbur had for l’manberg and because he trusted tubbo’s leadership. techno was smug when he was proved right because of course he was he’s technoblade. plus, they did view eachother as enemies at this point, so it’s not unacceptable for them to argue with eachother right now.

that brings us to the execution. traumatising! the refusal to run a fair trial and the dehumanising treatment from his old allies in pogtopia hammer this home, but importantly they rope philza into the chaos this time. ALSO it’s important to mention that techno was killed; he just got an extra life from the totem. he was actually killed and his character experienced that pain as punishment. he was pushed out of retirement, which was unjust in his eyes, since he believed he had genuinely changed. it didn’t help that quackity explicitly told him it wasn’t actually punishment for the withers, but instead a move to consolidate power, furthering his view of the cabinet as corrupt. from that point on he left retirement. he’d been doing well without violence, building connections with new people like vikk and lazar and finding a fragile form of peace, but in the end this shattered it. he’s back to being the blade, speaking with violence, because l’manberg made it clear there was no other way for him to be heard at this point. so he’s going to destroy them, even if he has to do it alone.

enter stage raccooninnit.

tommy taking refuge in techno’s house because he knew techno was rich enough for him to steal his resources and strong enough to defend him from dream is... interesting. he couldn’t go back to l’manberg, but he took refuge with a man who he viewed as a villain. this probably doesn’t help techno’s opinion of him, since he is quite literally using him for his resources, but in the end of the day tommy was desperate and quite literally on the verge of death, so he seemed to take some kind of pity on him. the exile period of their relationship is definitely the most important part of this argument, because it was just the two of them: no wilbur or pogtopia as an external force (though the pressure of dream and l’manberg still affected things) but in the same way ultimately doomed to fail. they fight for a moment, but ultimately settle as ‘business partners’. which quickly evolves back into a friendship like the one they had before the festival.

my least favourite take is that either one of them never valued the other at this point because this is just.... violently not true. they started off working for mutual benefit; tommy explicitly agreed to do minor terrorism in l’manberg and to help techno get his weapons back in return for techno’s help getting the discs back and taking refuge in his house. from the start both of them stated their limits:

techno was always planning on getting revenge on l’manberg for what happened on the day of his execution

tommy never wanted to upset tubbo, and wanted to put getting his discs back first

should note that tommy changes his mind on the disc’s priority later on, but at the point of their alliance he does make it clear that’s what he wants out of the partnership. the issue is that from the start both of them went in with blind optimism. neither of them lied to eachother or forced them to change their viewpoints but in the end of the day they could never be on the same side as long as l’manberg was involved. (note, i think some people think he wasn’t but techno was actually planning on helping tommy getting the discs back, with him getting annoyed at tommy letting tubbo give dream the disc because that made both of their jobs so much harder, but it was more of a long term goal bc he knew dream was hard to beat. plus before his execution, he visited tommy and strongly implied he would be willing to help with the discs, and that he would be a better ally in those personal aims than NLM were)

i don’t understand the ‘techno was only using tommy’ accusation here because like... how? what would he have to gain by having tommy on his side? he could definitely have blown up l’manberg without his help, so why bring him in at all? it was a very mutual agreement of ‘we’re using eachother’ that developed into genuine friendship. i’ve always seen it as a teaching experience: techno knows tommy had been wronged by NLM, and by extension tubbo, and by taking him on these minor terrorism trips, he’s showing tommy the worst of l’manberg. look, look at this execution stand, look at what they’ve done. and in doing this, he’s trying to prove to tommy that what he’s going to do to l’manberg is right. and in showing him the worst of NLM, he’s neglecting all of its good parts, but again, techno cant see any positives in l’manberg, and is trying to show tommy that everyone, especially tommy, would be better off without it. and tommy had criticisms of l’manberg before he was exiled, especially in regards to tubbo. he told ranboo the reason he chose wilbur to be president instead of tubbo was because he was worried the presidency would ruin their friendship, and Look At Exactly What Happened. techno highlighting the flaws of the country to tommy was easy because it WAS flawed and it hurt both of them. and techno’s hope was that tommy would join him in the eventual destruction of it, because he wanted to share his revenge with tommy and for him to get his own justice against l’manberg. but it... didn’t quite work out that way.

they both tried to make it easier for the other; techno told tommy he didn’t need to fight against l’manberg if he didn’t want to, but tommy came with him to the festival anyway to confront dream, despite techno’s mission being against the government in that situation. tommy started to view tubbo’s cabinet as corrupt for the execution and neglecting him during exile, and ended up helping techno out around the base and even toning down the purposeful annoyance (per techno’s ooc request). and the day before the green festival, he told techno he would help to destroy l’manberg (not knowing how quickly things would escalate the next day, since doomsday was fairly spontaneous) but in the end they would never be able to find a full compromise: techno would always be an anarchist and tommy could never hurt tubbo.

people accuse techno of not caring for tommy, which really annoys me because it’s not?? true??? if anything he shows more outward affection than tommy did. he didn’t have any benefit from taking in tommy, but he still did it. it’s not really basic decency either, given that they were technically enemies beforehand. he picked up on tommy’s fragile state around dream and defended, hid him despite the fact that he owed dream, he kept him away from logsted and the final control room after realising how upsetting they were. he exchanged the christmas presents, he jumped in to defend him against the rest of the server and when tommy betrayed techno, he was genuinely hurt! he was wrecklessly impulsive in a way the calculated blade usually wasn’t, almost blowing up half his house (including almost killing his villagers) because of the negative association with dnret.

that’s not to say tommy doesn’t also get absolutely crucified for betraying techno because of all of techno did for him. again it was somewhat inevitable. tommy said it himself, he was turning into someone he didn’t want to be, he was hurting people, and it was somewhat because he was living with technoblade. he was so powerless under dream, and he liked the feeling of power he got from teaming with techno, so much so that it drove him to cruelty, with even techno telling him he went too far with fundy. in the end, it’s probably for the best that he set that boundary and left to go back to l’manberg, but ultimately it was upsetting to both of them. techno felt betrayed because he genuinely thought tommy was his friend, only to be turned on last minute once again, now surrounded alone by enemies he was trying to protect tommy from. to him, allying with dream was just as bad as tommy allying with l’manberg. a betrayal for a betrayal, absolute reciprocity.

we all know the doomsday speech, with techno’s arguments being consistently stronger than tommy’s and much easier to defend, but we can’t just dismiss him. tommy had a lot of emotional input that day, and was angry at techno for a Lot of reasons, so he was more focused on shouting than making sense. he was more accusatory, while techno had fairly focused rebuttals (which, fair, i’m pretty sure that was techno’s first big addressal of most of that with other characters). it ended with tommy calling techno selfish for destroying l’manberg and techno coldly shutting tommy out for the betrayal.

betrayal was the driving force for techno’s “weapon” speech. tommy used him in pogtopia, tried to use him to stop dream exiling him and terrorising NLM) which he laughed at when told in character) and used him for getting the discs back. tommy wasn’t just using him, he genuinely felt like they had built a relationship beyond that, but when techno acted under his own ideals that went against his, then it was over. because tommy doesn’t value techno’s ideals, because they’re ‘selfish’ to him since he’s one of the only ones who believes in them. in turn techno sees that as making tommy selfish and as such they’re unable to compromise.

living with techno was an important part of tommy’s recovery process, which is still ongoing now. he saw immediate changes from his time with dream, claiming he felt “more me-ey” around techno and genuinely valuing his company. but he viewed techno’s alliance with dream as a betrayal, and he viewed the nov 16th incident as a betrayal. because he see’s techno’s belief in anarchy as selfish. something i never hear people point out is that tommy ADMITS he betrayed techno. after doomsday*, he says “all this time, technoblade told me i was betraying him. and you know what? (whispered) i was.” he’s guilty about it, and he understands that techno’s hurt. but he still can’t see him as being in the right, because techno took l’manberg forcefully and violently, and because tommy was hurt by their separation too. techno was powered by revenge more than anarchy during doomsday, which i think is important to point out. tommy had focused in on the threat of dream, and forgotten all the trauma techno went through with l’manberg, and left techno to rejoin l’manberg.

BOTH of them have explicitly stated “i viewed him as a friend but he never viewed me as one” and that’s just... devastating. at one point we can only hope that they have an in-canon conversation to actually settle all of this, but for now their storylines are separate and we’ll just have to live with that.

if anyone has anything they’d like to ask/clarify, or additions from any side i’d love to see it bc character analysis of dsmp characters is what’s keeping me going rn lmao. i said betrayal so many times here i am very sorry for clogging up the tag bc my readmore isn’t working yet (edit SAVED)

*i actually think this speech from tommy is very important, and not looked at as much as other stuff so im gonna link it here [55:52].

[enduringsea]

( rules: you can usually tell a lot about a person by the kind of music they listen to! put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people! no skipping! ) / tagged by @yellowcrumpet​ ╭( ･ㅂ･)و )))

Thanks for the tag! I LOVE these things-- I don’t rlly have a playlist either though, just a mess of music files on a device I haven’t updated so I’ll be checking my YouTube history too lol. There’s a uhhh.... pattern to be found, mainly relating to Code Vein or other OCs.... which isn’t surprising ._. ;; I made it a separate post bc I knew this was going to get long and rambly with lyric snippets and crying about fictional characters, sorry :D

1. Repeat Until Death - Novo Amor don’t go / you’re half of me now / but i’m hardly stood proud / i said it, almost oh i’ve been low / but damn it i bet it don’t show / it was heaven a moment ago oh i can’t seem to let myself leave you / but i can’t breathe anymore This one gives me Loubeth vibes ok, partially bad end route ;-; While Elizabeth is a very strong person, her friends are the most prominent reason she tries to do anything at all & isn’t living day-to-day in a monotonous grind to survive without a solid purpose other than ‘help random ppl bc it’s the right thing to do’. If she loses them, it’d ruin her & hammers into her head how everything she’s ever done has been a failure. She suffered a major betrayal by her boss before the Collapse, she was unable to fully participate in proj. queen despite her incredible test results, she failed to defeat Cruz and take her blood during Operation Queenslayer, and if she fails to protect the people she’s finally found meaning with? She’d break down completely & destroy herself to save them. She’s always had some level of abandonment issues, and without her family around it’s so much worse, even if it isn’t the most obvious because she’s generally seen as very well put together-- I really can’t express how much it would hurt her to lose Louis, Yakumo, and the others. She’s just not one to show just how bad it can truly get for her mentally and emotionally-- she’s resilient as hell, she’s been through hell repeatedly and survived it all, so it’s easy for others to assume she’s fine all things considered. It makes her feel weak and ashamed of herself if she shows any level of vulnerability, so she doesn’t; she swallows it down and is afraid of disappointing those who look up to her as a fighter and friend-- of course, no one at Home Base would blame her for being vulnerable, they all have their moments, Bethy just sets herself to such a high standard it’s difficult for her to talk about her own suffering in spite of how well-versed she is in getting her thoughts and feelings across otherwise. Louis is the one most keen to how deeply she’s hurting, but he doesn’t understand just how deeply until she finally does fall apart. The final swell of the song and its desperate lyrics really relays the pain they both feel-- Louis too would not fare well if something happened to Elizabeth, because he blames himself she was even involved in Operation Queenslayer for a long time, I honestly did so bad in explaining coherently, this song just has so much emotion and hurt behind it adklfjdfdff </3

2. Looking Out For You - Joy Again this is a love song for a girl who will never know it’s about her she's beaming that smile / all the while i’m all tripped up on my own throat i guess there is no hope This song reminds me of Elizabeth & my friend’s character Takashi Fujioka, who gets-- vERY...FRIENDZONED, for lack of a better word, by Elizabeth in his story, it’s really summed up best as tragic (;﹏;) Before the Collapse they were hitting it off, then the Collapse happened, they were separated, he lost his sisters, Mido happened, he was experimented on + became a revenant, etc, etc; years have passed since then & she’s gotten her life together as much as one can in a world like Vein, but for Takashi it’s like no time has passed at all. Elizabeth is subtly older in appearance, she’s been working w Lou & Co. for a long time; Loubeth blatantly have a connection, & rather than bringing up his feelings + making it awkward bc he values their friendships, he just kinda. chokes on them & does his best to help out the team. It doesn’t help he can’t even be jealous bc Louis is a really solid friend to him too, IT’S JUST A MESS OF A SITUATION & the death of what could have been if things were different.

3. Closer - Teagan And Sara ( no lengthy explanation for this one thank goodness, I’ve just been watching BoJack Horseman again and I really like some of the songs they add in, I like listening to this one on loop when mindlessly coloring something )

4. Brutal - Olivia Rodrigo  all I did was try my best / this the kind of thanks I get? they say these are the golden years / but I wish I could disappear ego crush is so severe / god, it's brutal out here I have it on a playlist for Elizabeth somewhere, not all of it applies to her but it reflects some of her struggles she has both before & after the collapse. She’s-- always kind of been a mess while under immense pressure + has serious self image issues, this song hits that side of her well. She’s been held to humanly impossible standards by both herself and her family bc frankly? She can reach them, she’s NOT exactly human. She was born into her position as a hunter & intends to keep it for as long as she lives (like revenants, her kind is very much ‘either gets killed or lives 5ever), even if some days she really feels how heavy the burden can be. She didn’t have a normal childhood and she’s fine with it for the most part, but it alienates her from most of her peers-- she never got to date anyone, never had a close group of friends, never went to parties that weren’t formals, etc., while she feels a little childish about it, she does envy ‘normal’ and understands the pressure she’s lived under her entire life has caused damage-- she has been exploited for her abilities, there’s just not much she can do about it but to keep going, rlly.

5. Freaks - Surf Curse  don't kill me / just help me run away from everyone  i need a place to stay / where i can cover up my face don't cry / i am just a freak / i am just a freak UhhhHHH this song really makes me think of Oliver Collins :D;; thank TikTok for showing it to me. It makes me think of how scared he was, of both the world and the revenants who captured him. The song’s use of the word ‘parasites’ really makes me think of Revenants and the BOR parasites XD I’m hoping when I poke my video editor again, I can record some Oliver footage to make a short video to this song. Oliver deserves so much better, I wish you could save him, but that’s what AUs are for, hahah.... The second half of the lyrics make me think of the AU I have where he lives and has to grapple with the guilt of surviving and the things he did to other revenants to get by too.

6. All Eyes On Me - Bo Burnham you say the ocean’s rising / like i give a shit you say the whole world’s ending / honey it already did you’re not gonna slow it / heaven knows you tried got it? good / now get inside I haven’t seen the Netflix special yet but I’ve had this song on repeat since my move started. The lyrics hit too hard & resonate with my existential dread, covid exhaustion, and extreme burnout in my 20s, but bc I have Damage I can also relate it to CV ._. ‘you’re not gonna slow it, heaven knows you tried. got it? good now get inside’ makes me think of--;; the bad end route again, and Elizabeth’s desperation to keep her found family together. It’s not like her to completely stop caring about an issue, but in the moment she realizes what’s being taken from her? She doesn’t want to save all of revenant-kind if it means she’s going to wind up alone all over again, her world is effectively over if she’s forced to be alone again. The MC frenzying means the only immediately identifiable hope she had of saving everyone else is gone, so why not just go home? If they’re all doomed, she wants to at least be together for a little while longer, it’s fine if they use her blood to survive & everyone else in the mist is out of luck, it’s soul-crushing bc I’ve never had her in a situation where she’s been this reckless, despondent/hopeless, and thinking irrationally where it’d impact more than herself-- especially when she’s normally goal-oriented, organized, meticulous, so on so forth: she’s not one to act without thinking something through first, but that last breath of light just got sucker-punched out of her. All she wants is home, comfort, and family, and ultimately in the bad end route she does manage to preserve their lives, maintain the mist, and supply blood beads, but her own condition leaves her on the throne-- it’s a mix of the bad, neutral, and true ending rlly ldkfjdf BUT YEAH enough rambling on that :D;; This song’s really good and touches a lot of different thoughts and ideas both in real life and my ocs, kind of embarrassing--;; thank u bo burnham for ruining me with this beautiful song

7. Yellow - Coldplay look at the stars / look how they shine for you / and everything you do your skin / oh yeah, your skin and bones / turn in to something beautiful do you know / for you I'd bleed myself dry Does this song make me think about JackEva? Yes. Yes it does. Star / night sky symbolism? Bam. Sappy lyrics about love and finding the person you’re with absolutely mesmerizing and worth dying for? BAM. If JackEva were capable of using their own blood to save each other, I can see it-- hJNGn they just care about each other so much, Jack cries for her even though they both knew that eventually one of them would succumb to their duty, and if the roles were reversed I can see Eva doing the same, I adore them beyond human language. On my CV RP blog, my Jack’s not shippable bc-- Eva, my friend even have them looking after his nephew (an oc--) at one point. I should seriously drop some headcanons down eventually....

8. Louder Than Thunder - The Devil Wears Prada  are we meant to be empty-handed? / i know i could, i could be better i don't think i deserve it / selflessness, find your way into my heart all stars could be brighter / all hearts could be warmer 

LMFAO throwback to my middle school playlist, I’m old-- I’ve applied this song to a lot of things back in the day, but I really connect it to Loubeth now, especially Louis. Lou & Bethy are both functional idiots who are too hard on themselves & have trouble recognizing their worth beyond what they can do for others. They’re trying to be better-- to make up for what they perceived wrongs they’ve done, but it’s hard, they don’t believe they’re worthy of the love and support the other gives, but they still yearn for that sense of security. After Louis’ memories are returned, he finally understands the guilt he’s felt since he became a revenant and it really skews his self-perception; he blames himself for so many things & Elizabeth, who has always been able to kill when necessary, sets it straight-- “It’s not your fault”, and it takes Louis some time to properly absorb that message. He thinks she’s just trying to comfort him, which she is tbh, but she’s not wrong: “It’s not your fault you couldn’t kill someone. It was never your job to kill anyone.” It’s up to people like her to do those sort of things-- Elizabeth may not have been present when Cruz frenzied, but if she had been? It would have been over before it started, that’s something she has regrets over, even if nothing could have been done since she was already on the field. Actually, she’s actually really quite angry that security failed to monitor Cruz properly and has a few select words for the ones there who could have actually done something before it got out of hand-- civilians and doctors are exempt from her shtlist bc they’re not meant to be killers (so don’t worry Artorias, she’s not ready to bite your head off!), but they had to have some kinda security detail rite o-q??? They’re probably hiding from her wrath-- BUT ANYWAY, she insists she’ll never blame Louis for not being able to do something as serious as killing another person. He was a normal human being who cared about his friend, not a failure, and he couldn’t have been expected to do something that shouldn’t have fallen on his shoulders in the first place. As many times as it takes, she’ll reaffirm that it wasn’t his fault, she’s not angry, he’s always done his best and her opinion of him hasn’t changed. He’s a good person and she loves him through all the hurt, though she doesn’t drop the word ‘love’ for a long time. It just-- takes Louis a while to accept she views him as someone worthy of the love and respect she has for him. It’s kind of ironic she’s so adamant on Louis not blaming himself considering she’s the one privately blaming herself for-- wow there’s too much to unpack, she feels guilty she was even born?? im so broken over these two. I love them and yet they SUFFER... 

9. What I’ve Done - Linkin Park i'll face myself / to cross out what i’ve become erase myself / and let go of what i’ve done today this ends / i'm forgiving what i’ve done

I have Louis Amamiya brainrot and I’m so glad I’m not the only one who thinks that this song fits him super well & it needs to become an AMV dsjfkldsfd. I’m a near life-long Linkin Park fan and this fits with Lou so well thematically. As much as I’ve gone on about Louis’ guilt, he does steel himself to keep going forward in spite of it and make things right, for everyone. Maybe it wasn’t really his fault, but at the end of the day his inability to kill Cruz in that moment left a disaster in its wake that got a countless number of people killed-- the MC included with Karen and Aurora. He doesn’t want to run away from the truth, doesn’t want to make excuses, he wants to take responsibility for it and he’ll work himself to death if it means things will be better-- it’s both admirable he’s got a strong resolve and VERY concerning with how willing he is to die for the cause, please don’t overdo it, Lou, you’ll break mine and Bethy’s hearts ._.;; It won’t always be easy, there are moments the grief gnaws at him, but in the end he does overcome it (and uh. as in the bad ending, we know he can actually do it this time). I know we can’t see everything, but I would have loved deeper character interactions, especially with Louis with an emphasis on grieving + forgiving himself properly-- but this song really is nice with the whole ‘I’m going to face my mistakes head on, forgive myself, and keep moving forward’. It’s what Louis deserves: self forgiveness and a damn break ‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

10. Call of Silence - Hiroyuki Sawano you will know you're reborn tonight / must be rough but i’ll stay by your side even if my body's bleached to the bones / i don't want go through that ever again so cry no more / oh my beloved ngl idk if those are the correct lyrics, buuuuuuut....... im a weenie and am internally weeping abt loubeth after midnight, what else is new lmfao- i’ll at least try to be brief :D I also used to really like Attack on Titan when I was in high school, I dropped the anime years ago because I was waiting for s2 and never got back to it once it started airing again, I thought I’d finish it once the anime was complete since I eventually caught up with the manga, such a good series BUT ANYWAY-- I think it’s a really pretty song and Loubeth fit with the tender lyrics. IT’S LATE, idk what to say about them other than what I’ve said already dsklfjdslf im sorry I really ramble a LOT and I’ve been so busy lately I haven’t had the chance to >w>;;

[disslve]

𝐲𝐞𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐰 & 𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐝𝐲 ! this is nai and my cowboy ass is here to throw roxy @ u and also tell u bad jokes and cry over life is strange 2 because i’m still not over this game and I NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT. just a heads up, i came up with roxy on a whim because this rp just looked so good,  so if it seems like i don’t know what i’m talking about ... it’s most likely the case whoops . ( this is an excuse for me bringing shitty muses ). anyway, my fake cowboy ass loves to ramble so if you’re interested in plotting feel free to LIKE this post or hmu. i forgot to mention that i’m also a fake grandma so idk anything about discord at all and i still need to set it up which will happen in the next few days dsdnsdsdn. 

ps: wanted connections/plots can be find in my wanted tag ( a link is on my blog ) and i’ll also list some below !

EDIT: discord name is nai #7158

 * [ kristine froseth + cis-female + she/her ] —— have you met roxanne ‘roxy’ bailey ? they are a twenty-two year old junior currently studying romance languages and literatures. they live on decker house and word around campus is that this scorpio is compassionate + dedicated, as well as impatient + dishonest. i wonder if they’ll make it out alive. 

basics.

full name: roxanne elise bailey

nicknames: roxy, rox

sexual orientation: bisexual

birth place: valencia, spain ( but only lived there for five years ) 

history. 

one could say that roxy had lived an easy life, though her parents weren’t distinguished by their social status, it didn’t mean they lacked money which was enough to support their daughter in whatever she wanted to do.

truth to be told, roxy was indeed a little spoiled, the type of kids who would try all kind of things on the expenses of their parents only to quit a new ‘hobby’ again. she could barely stick to anything. she was some twisted kind of golden child, good at many things but never had the patience to continue something for long enough to cultivate it. 

skipping over the part where she almost tried everything from arts, music etc. she finally found her passion ( and even roxy herself was surprised ). figure skating. she didn’t know what drew her in, she couldn’t explain it, she tried it and it felt right. roxy always describes the feeling as finding a soulmate if she feels extra dramatic that day. 

unsurprisingly, she was good at it. not that kind of good at something she was at all the other things she tried before, but that being good at which stemmed from genuine interest. maybe, that is why she managed to get so far. and it didn’t take too long that people even started to call her a figure skating prodigy. 

at this point at her life, she had it all, spinning the stars on her fingertips ( or warning bad pun ahead: spinning on the ice ). until, well, her parents company was in some crisis and they had to cut corners in the meantime. also oh so ‘conveniently’ roxy lived at the arse end of nowhere and getting to her practices was now even more difficult because as mentioned before they had to save their money for more necessary things. of course, there were more things , small and big, which totally threw her off ( which i am too lazy to list rn).

roxy tried to work part time, but a) the money wasn’t enough b) she didn’t want to cut more hours of training she managed to get. AND well, here comes the turning point and roxy thinking she was oh-so-smart without realizing that it would cost her career. oh-so-smart roxy came up with the idea to , well, just steal some stuff. after all, she trained with many other wealthy peers and she could just sell off their stuff or something. 

at the beginning she only did it to afford certain things she needed, but soon it somehow became an addiction. she felt in control when everyone else in her life was an utter mess. however, the more she took things away from others the more she felt comfortable, doing it more often and sometimes taking things which weren’t even worth that much. it was only a matter of time until she was caught. and as if she was lucky for too long, the person who caught her pressured her into either giving them a hefty sum of money (which she didn’t have) or to quit figure skating. she decided for the latter.

well, here she was and her sudden departure was quite a shock. but she had no choice and stated it was for personal reasons. 

skipping over her being devastated over it, etc. her parents managed to save their company (whatever this company is) but at this point it was already too late and roxy was accepted into holloway. 

right now she actually wants to pick up her figure skating career again, however, she’s too afraid that the blackmailer is going to expose her and also she doesn’t really know who they are (lets pretend they wrote her letters, txt messages >??) and also she’s kind of afraid due to the lack of practice she had .

personality.

okay i’ll keep this short bcs i wrote way too much for her background story. but to sum it up, roxy kind of has that perfect girl facade.  considering how many friends roxy has and how social she appears to be it is odd that no one seems to be able to describe her.  roxy doesn’t want people to know who she truly is, and she keeps her distance as she actively avoids conflicts that might cause her to say something wrong and exposes herself. 

she shields her feelings by only presenting polished version of herself, the facade of the perfect girl: kind, hard-working and polite. someone whose life is easy and someone who looks like she doesn’t have any worries. it doesn’t mean she isn’t anything of that, but it’s not as if her kindness has no bounds or that she doesn’t need to put effort into the things she does. nevertheless, she believes that she must be perfect in order to make people like her. and while, she is pretty good at masking her emotions and smile along, as soon as someone threatens to see past the illusion, she will become defensive and won’t hesitate to lie in order to preserve it.

plots.

best friends: although roxy pretty much keeps her distance from everyone else, this person had always stood by her side. maybe they knew about roxy’s sudden wannabe-thief phase ( which she is still in ) and well tried to talk her out of it ( which obviously didn’t work ). also adding some drama here and maybe they had a big argument over it and distanced from each othr because of it. however, my angst ass doesn’t want to ruin it and they’ll rekindle their friendship. they might meet again at holloway and it’s awkward at first, maybe they even have some arguments but they’ll get over it because everyone loves a good rekindled friendship story.

annoyance: someone who gets under roxy’s skin.seeing past the perfect girl face and constantly calling her out on it. maybe they just have fun annoying her and want to see what she really likes or they just don’t like roxy , thinking that beneath all of this act, she is a really unpleasant person. perhaps, they’re even doing it with good intentions and want to show her that she doesn’t need to hide who she is. whatever it is, they’re determined to expose to the world who she really is. 

pen pal ??:  muse a and roxy had been friends for a very long time, yet the funny thing is that they’ve never met each other nor do they know what the other look like. all they know is their name ( or maybe they only know each other by their usernames ) and their deepest secrets. maybe they already have crossed paths many times and perhaps even know each other but don’t like each other irl. or they never had noticed the other.

blackmailer: BECAUSE WHY NOT??? the person who forced roxy to give up on figure skating. maybe, they were a rival or just didn’t like her, or any other reason. they might as well, have noticed that roxy is secretly training again and might be back at their shit again. 

exes: GIVE ME THE ANGST, maybe muse a and roxy used to be in a serious relationship and as naive they were back then both of them thought this love would last forever. however, at some point roxy started to distance herself from muse a, constantly cancelling their dates because of their busy schedule. at first muse a tried to be understanding towards her, but as time passed things only got worse. roxy hating any kind of conflict just decided to ignore the problem instead about talking about it and eventually stopped replying to muse a messages. muse a never really got to know the real reason behind their break up and was left with unanswered questions. but anything works  

unrequited love: (this is just me throwing in my favourite way to make myself suffer) It doesn’t matter who is the one with the the one sided love because i just want some good angst.a)  muse a has a crush on roxy, yet they never told her about it. yet, muse a can’t hide it and it doesn’t take too long until roxy notices it. but instead of trying to talk to muse a about it, roxy just ignores it acting as she usually does and perhaps even give them false hope that she might like them back. maybe muse a even confessed to her and because roxy didn’t want to hurt them she told muse a she’d think about it.

b) roxy has a crush on muse a but doesn’t admit it. she doesn’t want to show their vunerable side and just plays it down. maybe they’re friends and roxy doesn’t want to lose another friend. but one day she confesses to muse a on accident, making everything awkward between them.

someone she stole from: idk i thought this would be fun ? maybe she confessed to them about it or maybe they caught her but decided to not confront her about it.

fan: someone who used to watch her perfomances on their tv and is still not over the fact that she quit.

i also have a connection page on my blog if these are too specific or none of these work 

i’m too tired to come up with more dsdsdnjsd but gimme everything !! THE ANGST, FLUFF, DRAMA PLS!!! 

[calibers]

[ MICHAEL EVANS BEHLING, CISMALE, HE/HIM ] shh ! MICAH ANJORIN, the ( TWENTY - TWO ) year old THIRD year ECONOMICS major from MANHATTAN, NEW YORK, is known as a DIAMOND around here. HE was invited to join because OF HIS WORK ETHIC AND HE COMES FROM A FAMILY OF EMINENT INTERNATIONAL ENTREPRENEURS, and now, they’re here to stay. HE reminds me of DIAMOND JEWELRY GLITTERING AGAINST MARBLE WALLS, THE RATTLING OF PILLS AGAINST PLASTIC — HIS LIFELINE IN A COMPETITIVE WORLD, & ZONING OUT IN A GROUP OF BUSINESSMEN.

WANTED  CONNECTIONS.

hello  ,  JJ  here  !  i  am  twenty  three  years  old  and  i  use  she / her  pronouns  !  did  i  adopt  the  alias  JJ  after  the  love  of  my  life  ,  jj  maybank  ?  perhaps  .  anywho  ,  i’m  excited  for  this  rp  .  please  help  me  get  settled  i  am  too  soft  and  shy  for  my  own  good  .  also  i  hope  this  intro  post  is  okay  ?  i  wasn’t  sure  what  to  include  cause  i’m  going  to  be  slowly  building  a  biography  page  and  potentially  a  google  doc  !  

ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴍɪᴄᴀʜ.

in the final month of the year 1997, you were welcomed into the world by marlowe and kelsey anjorin in a private midwifery clinic in manhattan, new york. the walls were painted with warmth, just like the touch of your parents skin and despite the shrill newborn cry emitting from your tiny lungs. it was a moment of pure bliss for the couple, one that would be congratulated in expensive celebration with colleagues and friends, all waiting for their chance to see the future of business. you, the boy swaddled in the most delicate and expensive cloth, naive to the life ahead of you.

you’re raised in luxury; the marble walls of the family estate whisper echoes of voices so small in a place so grandiose. from the top of the grand staircase you, in your pressed suit with an embroidered family emblem, watch hired staff move about the home tending to all it’s and your needs. they care for you while your parents travel the world, leaving you with the single promise that one day you’d be old enough to join them too. they always kept their promises — that’s what you told yourself. by the time you reach middle school, the pressure is on. your performance in your private academy classes and participation in clubs and position in sports are the top priority to your parents. how were you supposed to balance each of these and make your parents proud? they needed new and more impressive achievements from you, the eleven year old boy. the anjorin’s are winners, anything less than that was punishable. so you considered the path of your life at such a young age and decided that, in order to achieve the greatness you were raised for and to always get what you want, you had to switch from a sweet and playful kid to a sour one. one who’s venom was hidden behind a captivating smile. you started using your friends to reach the top, assuring them of rewards for their assistance with a promise — anjorin’s always kept their promises.

the second half of secondary school was when the stress finally rose above everything else in your life. one too many classes for your heavy club and sport involvements. your grades began to slip and your coaches began to sit you during games, met only with silent disappointment from your parents. they raised you better than that. you were drowning in work and stress, an outstretched hand pleading to the parents who vowed to love you more than anything, and yet they turn the other cheek the moment you threaten the reputation of the family name. success is their only request. so you slip into a dark place. you begin purchasing amphetamines from a friend and use them only when deadlines need to be met. they keep you focused and awake long enough to get the work done with the limited hours a day offers someone of your workload. yet they make you cold, hot-tempered — careless in the department of empathy and prideful in your race for success. a deal with the devil hidden behind a saving grace. expectations are met once again and your parents voice their praise of your achievements at events while your father pats your shoulders — this is the future of the anjorin name. if only they knew what it cost to be granted such a title.

just like your mother had, you begin attending strathmore college overseas following secondary school. a competitive, academic institute that would boost your eminence in the business world. each month you receive a letter from your parents, sealed with golden wax and pressed with the family emblem. they want official progress reports at the end of each month. even from overseas you feel the pressure begin to return once more, only this time a toxic dependency on your pills begins. they keep you moving and focused, numb to the happenings around you, cold to your peers. it becomes easier and easier to trample those that try to compete. your high energy becomes mistaken for venom, unbothered by others and heavily focused on the next task at hand. this, mixed with your bloodline, made you an exceptional prodigy for the society. you asked too many questions during informals and planned out ways to surpass all the rest during the initiation process. although it was more work than you had time for, your eventual acceptance into the society came with more relief than anything.

𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗧𝗦.

name  :  micah  harper  anjorin  . age  :  twenty - two  . d.o.b.  :  november  17  . gender  :  cis  male  (  he/him  )  . orientation  :  bisexual  ,  demiromantic  . ethnicity  :  biracial  ,  nigerian  /  caucasian  (  german  )  . height  :  1.88m  . hometown  :  manhattan  ,  new  york  .  occupation  :  economics  student  ,  anjorin  business  partner  . gem  :  diamond  . inspiration  :  spencer  hastings  (  PLL  )  ,  draco  malfoy  (  HP  )  ,  chuck  bass  (  GG  )  ,  lucrecia  montesinos  hendrich  (  ELITE  )  ,  and  topper  thornton  (  OBX  )  .

𝗔𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗧𝗜𝗖𝗦.

expensive  jewelry  ,  never  wearing  the  same  suit  twice  ,  polished  shoes  ,  the  clinking  of  ice  in  a  glass  ,  the  rattling  of  a  pill  bottle  ,  hiding  tired  eyes  beneath  dolce  and  gabbana  sunglasses  ,  custom  made  cufflinks  ,  falling  asleep  and  waking  up  in  different  countries  ,  a locked  wine  cellar  filled  with  luxury  brands  ,  a  shelf  dedicated  to  all  your  awards  ,  a  stack  of  unopened  invitations  to  events  ,  chanel  allure  lingering  on  his  garments  .

[scholar-thief]

Reflecting on Heartless, ranting about Momori

Spoilerific, so read on if you dare!! Thoughts on Heartless, Momori’s involvement, and then just...goes everywhere lmao

First off, big BIG big thanks for including me (and Momori!) in the Heartless campaign! It was super fun, and ultra inspiring to see...what RP can be?? It's absolutely crazy the stuff that went down, and I hope Mei + all others involved in its organization are proud of what they've achieved. I entered with like, 0 understanding of what the heck was going on, and everyone was very patient w/ my dumb brain. If nothing else know that I greatly appreciate being a small part of Heartless and won't forget it like...ever!! put me down as a reference if you wanna add this to your resume. I’m serious! What a wild ride. It’s already been an inspiration for me and my own campaigns.

I also wanna apologize. For killing Momori, and the emotional cost that might have. It sucks, and I've been on the receiving end. For me, it feels like losing a REAL FRIEND when other people kill their characters, regardless of whether I know said character well or not. I think it has to do with, like...lost opportunity? It freaks me out knowing I’ve missed my window to experience another person’s creation. So please if you want to say anything, my inbox is always open. But also, please know that this isn't the end of Momori...just an end in the context of Heartless. And I'd be honored if you want to continue rping with her.

Anyway, cue full on ranting!  kldfsdafsds I just. have a lot of thoughts about Momori and wanna dump them somewhere aaa

Momori is, at heart, a villain-type character raised in 'good' (or really, goodish) circumstances. I like to imagine Azula from ATLA, but instead of being raised in the Evil Empire of Fire (tm), she's raised in a philanthropic organization. There's definitely a conversation about nature vs nurture to be had, but I (selfishly) want to play a morally grey character. So Momori does good, but her motivation for doing good comes from the wrong place. She does good to climb a social hierarchy, to win someone's affection, to experience (and wield) power. It's a contest for her.

But there IS opportunity for her to break free of the ‘bad end’ track that she's on. She needs to be in an environment that forces her to disprove several of her preconceived notions. I don't want to get too deep into this, but the 'good' organization she's in (Silver Scholars) is pretty surface level good. Not outright evil, but there are other evils...like peer pressure, lack of transparency, extreme expectations, hazing, etc. Just the right brew of trash to cause her to lean into her character flaws! And it has fostered toxic relationships that must be broken for her to dip towards the light.

I appreciate that Heartless gave me the opportunity to have an unceremonious end for Momori (She got lost in the sauce MAN what a classic bad guy ending). She was just starting to turn around thanks to the Voyage’s kindness, just starting to be like "HECK YEAH I'll do what I want, not what I think Father wants!" But this also means that she’s gonna indulge in her, errrr, bad habits? She legitimately enjoys doing work that actively harms others (intelligence and assassination). And she definitely would dive into the deep end for tech/magic, regardless of the potential human cost. Momori is not blameless. She is limitless and dangerous and these are all reasons why I find her end here fitting.

Her death is no one’s fault but her own (except I guess mine? UMMm). She dies engaging with her darker impulses (killing) and was lured close by a strange, man-eating aetheric engine. She doesn’t stop to consider how gruesome the engine is, and instead wonders about how it can be used. Hell, her ego prevents her from even considering death as an option. Still, it's unfair that she's cut off from her growth. But it's similarly unfair that Momori thinks herself above others, so much so that she feels justified in her bullying behavior. She has a lot of negative karma, and this is payback.

Memento Momori. hahaha

Momori deserves penance. But she also deserves a chance at redemption. Although she doesn’t make it in Heartless, her journey continues in the main canon. Most of her 'fates' end horribly, but...that there’s a single path where she might make it? Maybe? Just one? I find that kinda inspiring. If you're interested in being a part of that journey, please!! Reach out to me! We can rework Heartless relationships into the main canon, or heck just start over w/ something new.

[second-chance-stray]

RP Log: Cravendy goes to the gun range with Lin! I think both of them have a terrible time again.

(Cravendy Hound) hehe so 1 idea is them going to a shooting range together! :D )) (Aislinn North) ((They look like they could do some damage!)) (Aislinn North) ((Loaded guns and full of resentments. Sounds safe! xD)) (Cravendy Hound) oh lawdy xD )) (Aislinn North) ((lol!)))

Aislinn needed to practice. Or, more to the point, she needed vent out a host of ills through the violent sound, feel and smell of a loaded handgonne. But she had learned her lesson the last time she had tried this. The Shroud wasn't safe for the likes of her to traverse alone. And the Company House was empty save. ...Cravendy. She knew the woman was familiar with a gun, she had seen her a time or two cleaning her weapon. And so, biting back all the reasons not to do so, she asked the Seawolf to join her in the Shroud for a round of practice.

Cravendy Hound had been blindsided by Lin’s request. From how things had ended last time, she had assumed that Lin would want nothing to do with her. But life was ever full of surprises. Cravs steels herself and follows Lin to the range, a hand gripped on her gun holster the entire time. You could feel the tension radiating from the Seawolf, thick as sour butter.

Cravendy Hound: “....Oi.”

Aislinn North Lin looked up at the greeting, giving a single nod. She could feel the woman's discomfort thick in the air as she approached. Not exactly a good way to ensure you're shooting your best. But maybe that was good. For both of them. After all, being able to shoot straight under pressure was what it was all about. Even so, Lin couldn't help but try to alleviate a touch of that apprehension. Cravendy did agree to keep her company out here, after all. "You've had much of a chance to practice?" 'Since waking up' went unsaid.

Cravendy Hound: “Mmh. Not recently. But I figure I don’t forget this sort of thing. Should be good...” Cravs glances over to Lin for a brief moment, then looks straight ahead again. “...for the both of us, I think.”

Cravendy Hound pulls out her gun - a jet black flintlock pistol that’s been well taken care of - and aims it at the target. Her breath pauses for a moment, then releases, and her arm goes slack. “Why don’t ye go first.”

(Cravendy Hound) me: *wildly looking up HOW GUNS WORK dfsdfs * xD )) (Aislinn North) ((hehe! Welcome to my RP world as a MCH!)) (Cravendy Hound) xD my partner is giving me a whirlwind summary ))

Aislinn North Eyed Cravendy a moment, her face schooled in an impassive mask. She nodded as though she thought nothing of the Seawolf begging off at the last moment. Stepping in line with the last free target on the range, Lin shrugged her firearm from its holster on her back and loaded several rounds into the chamber. Lifting the slender rifle, she fitted it tightly against one shoulder and bladed her stance as she had done countless times before. There was a pause as she sighted the target, and her breathing slowed. She was ever the patient shot, even with the tension hanging in the air. All at once the gun snarled to life, kicking hard and she let her body absorb the momentum. This she knew. This she could do without having to think about it. There were no awkward waters to navigate. Lowering the gun, she peered down the range, thinking she had hit somewhat close to center. "Alright. We're off and running now." she stepped aside and made room for Cravendy as she turned her attention to the Seawolf.

(Aislinn North) ((Battle stance is best emote for mch :D)) (Cravendy Hound) Ooo it's so sassy )) (Aislinn North) ((It is! It's all 'try it and find out')) (Aislinn North) ((Also Ren showed me this the other day and it is now my favorite thing for writing up RP posts: https://www.ffxiv-toolkit.com/)) (Aislinn North) ((It breaks any post down into chunks for posting. And corrects spelling errors. It's so handy!)) (Cravendy Hound) ooooo woahh )) (Cravendy Hound) I'm trying it out xD ))

Cravendy Hound hears an all-too-familiar ringing in her ears as Lin lets her gun do the talking. When the echoing finally stops, she lets out a low whistle. Despite appearances, Lin was quite the sharpeye...though she had already known that. “Not one bit of ‘esitation, eh?”

Cravendy Hound steps into place and shifts her shoulders to the left, such that they're 90 degrees to her outstretched arm. Carefully, she pulls the hammer back on her gun and squeezes the trigger. There's a flash, then a bang! And a bullet goes flying towards the target, nicking one of its outer rings. Cravendy groans and feels heat rise into her face - godsdamnit, she was rusty. She gives Lin an angry glare, hoping to intimidate her from pointing out the obvious.

(Cravendy Hound) Oohh the arrows are the thing that splits it )) (Cravendy Hound) INTERESTING. I like this tool )) (Aislinn North) ((yup! And then you can just click the copy past icon on the right for each post and dump it in the chat here. When you start, you can choose if it's /emote or /party or /say and it'll put the command in when it splits the posts) (Cravendy Hound) the power of technology :D )) (Aislinn North) ((Right? What a time to be alive!)) (Cravendy Hound) o... I think I meant 180 degrees, so she's forming a line with her arm and shoulders as she shoots. WHAT ARE....numbers xD )) (Aislinn North) ((hehe, I got it! A blade :) ))

Aislinn North There was a slight narrowing of Aislinn's eyes as Cravendy tossed a glare her way. As though she had anything to do with the wide shot. Half of her wanted to rise to the bait and meet anger with anger but the other half, the smarter half that had kept her alive this long simply took a look at the target. "Close. Few more rounds and you'll be right as rain."

(Cravendy Hound) oh no...Lin can't read Cravs at all *laughs* )) (Aislinn North) ((Nope! She has her all sorts of discombobulated! *grins*)) (Cravendy Hound) they do that to each other xD ))

Cravendy Hound feels herself relax at Lin’s levelheaded response. She’s so used to keeping a tight hold on her reputation, that this...all this. It makes her feel like a limp pile of spaghetti. But Lin had no expectations. She could be trusted. She could. Cravs sighs and waves her gun around haphazardly.

Cravendy Hound: “‘ard to shoot when ye got arms used to punchin’. Could probably break me gun if I wasn’t careful.”

Aislinn North That garnered a considering tilt of her head as Lin stepped up to the target once more. "Maybe. But something like that'd earn you a bit of a reputation." she said. "Maybe a battlename. Guncrusher." a slight, sly tug of her lips as she raised her rifle. "Pistolbane."

Aislinn North She fired off another shot with ease and though she could have emptied the chamber, she left it at that. No sense in letting Cravendy think she was showing off. Left of center again. Her lips twitched downward as she stepped back. "Settling in at Heartwood alright?" she asked as she reloaded. She hated how wooden her voice sounded, even to her ears.

Cravendy Hound crinkled up her nose in response to the titles. “Twisted scrag...I’m not lookin’ for any new names any time soon. Mine’s just fine.” She notices a tension holding her shoulders up, and lets them drop with a smirk and a ‘harumph.’

Cravendy Hound takes aim at the target again and fires. Her gun kicks back, causing her arm to swing up afterwards. It’s closer to the mark, but not by much. “Ye lot are as friendly as gang of fresh-faced babes, so settlin’ in wasn’t all too tough. The drinks are good, I suppose.” She casts her eyes downward at the dirt and ponders for a moment...a question held back like wind behind her lips.

Cravendy Hound: “I wanna ask ye something. But know if I ask, ye won’t give it to me straight.”

Aislinn North Stepped up to the target, and for a moment it might have seemed she hadn't heard Cravendy at all. Peering down the range line, she held the rifle loose down at her side, but there was a subtle tension straightening her spine. "Why would you think I wouldn't be inclined to answer honestly?"

Cravendy Hound blinks, words caught in her throat for a split second. Good question - why? Lin was one of the most straightforward people she knew. There was no reason to make assumptions now of all times. Cravs lowers her gun and rests her empty hand on her hip.

Cravendy Hound: “...Then I’ll just ask. Are ye okay?” A beat. “And I’ll answer for ye. No, yer not. I’m not either. We’re like opposin’ magnets, but that also makes us on the same side.”

Cravendy Hound turns to look directly at Lin. “I think we’re grievin’ over the same loss. Where do ye stand on it? Ye just accept that it happened, life moves on?”

(Cravendy Hound) *INTENSE WORRY* ;_; ))

Aislinn North The question slammed into her hard enough to shake her placid shell. For a moment, her fingers tightened around the grip of her weapon. "Well, if you were going to answer for me, not sure why you bothered asking." she said, again feeling that forced control in her voice she had when Bertram had tried to comfort her. She turned to face Cravendy fully, staring at her as if there was no other answer. "Tends to be the way of things. Accept that it happened. Move on. Don't see what good doing anything else will be. Can't bring her back now, can it?"

(Aislinn North) ((And gloooom!)) (Aislinn North) ((It's like the game knows and adjusted the atmosphere)) (Cravendy Hound) LOL I noticed that too )) (Cravendy Hound) I've never seen this weather before O_O )) (Aislinn North) ((odin's about)) (Aislinn North) ((It happens when he's up))

Cravendy Hound feels rage build behind her eyes. For a moment, she doesn’t know what to do with her arms and hands. Pull them out in front of her? Cross them? Hold them up, tense and angry? Eventually she forces her hands down, fist clenched. “I...How can ye say that?! What, a footnote in yer journal is all then? It’d be easier if ye were shoutin’ a storm at me! Let the fire yer tuckin’ away all neat like go! Let it burn out so ye can make sense of all this! So we can make sense of all this!”

Cravendy Hound huffs, winded. She rubs the space between her eyes, on the brink of furious tears. “Bugger...”

Cravendy Hound: "Won't bring 'er back. 'ells, it's not 'er I'm thinkin' about...have ye seen yerself?"

Aislinn glared now. Dark and angry. Who the hells was Cravendy to stand here and lecture -her- on how she should be acting. She felt the tethers on her fraying control fall away and in one swift motion, she swung her gun up and spun for the target. Rapid shots one after another in quicksilver succession until the chamber was empty, each one snapping and growling out as if it could drown Cravendy out. When the gun was empty she stopped short of tossing it to the ground. "There is NO making sense of this!" She whirled back to Cravendy. "NOTHING about this will ever line up and make sense! And. ..a FOOTNOTE? YOU don't get to tell me what you think Wyda was to me! Ever!" Her pulse thundered with ever harsh breath. She stepped closer into Cravendy's space. "I'm not like you. And like it or not I'll handle this however I need to."

(Cravendy Hound) ohh noo )) (Aislinn North) ((Pfff, it's really what she needed)) (Aislinn North) ((To get it all out))

Cravendy Hound - Lin’s energy only feeds the flames. Crav’s heart is racing, beating nearly out of her chest as the gunfire roars like an unchained beast. She doesn’t back down when Lin steps close. “Well, I’m tellin’ ye now! Cause that’s what it feels like to me! I feel like a...I mean, she feels like somethin’ yer tryin’ to brush off. An’ I can see ye hurtin’ as plain as day. Well, I’m hurtin’ too! If there’s anyone out there that understands what I’m goin’ through, it’s ye...so stop dealing with it yerself!”

Aislinn North jerked her chin up. "Brush off?!" she snapped with incredulity. "Did it ever cross your mind that it's too *hard* for me to just. ..just...*replace* her with you?" Aislinn threw her hands out at her side. A few of the nearby archers casting worried glances at the weapon she was bandying about. With a sharp sound of frustration, she holstered the empty gun. "Like nothing happened? THAT would be brushing her off." her voice broke at the end and she swiftly looked away, pain etched in her expression.

(Cravendy Hound) the TEA )) (Aislinn North) ((Just spilling it everywhere))

Cravendy Hound her eyes flickered with guilt. She took a step back, posture hunched. “I-I never asked ye to replace ‘er with me! I don’t want to, and what ye ‘ad with ‘er will never be the same as what ye and I could ‘ave. I...” Lin’s gaze felt red hot, as if it were burning a hole from her forehead to the back of her skull. “I...I...don’t...”

Cravendy Hound shut her eyes and took a deep breath. Seven hells, why was speaking to Lin so bloody difficult?!

Aislinn stared at the distant targets, the fire burning out of her as quickly as it had been stoked. Cravendy's broken words leaving her with the sadness she always seemed to be struggling to keep at bay. Ever since that day on the beach. This was the part where she explained. Where she tried to tell the truth of what she was feeling but the words felt too big and too sharp. "When I've lost people before they were just...gone." she said lowly. "But she left and you. ..woke up. What do I do with that? How do I not feel. ..Do you remember anything?"

Cravendy Hound bites her lip so hard it draws bloods - and a curse. Cravs takes another deep and heaving breath as she tries steady her nerves, and say the right thing for once. But there were no right answers, not here. Not now. But she has to try.

Cravendy Hound: “I wish I could tell ye I didn’t remember anythin’. But I remember it all. When I was a part of ‘er, an’ before. When I wasn’t.” Her voice shakes, vulnerable. And then in a voice, low and quieter: “I shouldn’t be ‘ere. Should be ‘er. Or Dots. Or anyone else. But I’m ‘ere because of ‘er, an’ I can’t let that go to waste. Nor can I stand idly by while yer dealin’ with all this.”

Aislinn North "No." she said, swiftly as she flicked her gaze back to Cravendy. "It's better if you remember. I've been forgotten before. Starting from the bottom..." she shook her head and swallowed hard. "It's better that you remember." she quietly repeated. It seemed hard for her to find enough air to form words. " 'Should. ' " she shook her head as if to say she didn't agree with Cravendy. "There's only did and didn't happen. That's it." she again tried to draw in more air. "I feel lost. Sometimes I think of something or see something and then can't wait to tell her but..." she trailed off. "And there was so much left she wanted to do. She had notes and notes of things we were going to do."

(Cravendy Hound) ;_; ))

Cravendy Hound lets the rain roll off her face. She is soaked. Tired. But angry? The fury has been replaced by a somber melancholy. “Did or didn’t happen. Ye can’t change it. But ye shouldn’t look away. The memories, painful or not...it’s all a part of ‘er. It’s all we ‘ave left.”

Cravendy Hound reaches out towards Lin, then flinches. A hug from an angry stranger, the source and reminder of her misery, is probably the last thing she needs. So instead, she pats Lin on the upper back. “Dunno ‘ow primals work. Maybe ye can still tell ‘er what’s botherin’ ye. She’d want to know.”

(Cravendy Hound) that feel when the weather ends before you can get the post off <_> )) (Aislinn North) ((hehe!))

Aislinn North Hung her head a moment and much like Cravendy, she seemed wrung out. "Sometimes it's just easier to look away." she said, but she knows there's truth in Cravendy's words. She was silent a long moment. "Could do that. But. ..could talk to you on occasion too." she lifted her head. "Assuming these shouting matches aren't gonna be a regular thing."

Cravendy Hound - Surprise crossed over her face. What, her? It -was- what Cravs had wanted, but she hadn’t been expecting anything. She’s silent for a time after, until finally, she just barely nods. “Aye. When ye feel like it.”

Cravendy Hound has reached that point where she’s so exhausted that she feels a bit lightheaded...or mad? Maybe mad. Who knows?! Cravs looks to the sky, eyes shut, and makes a sort of bone-rattling sound that eventually turns into a laugh. “Any more shoutin’ and I’m liable to go mute. Ye and me both. But I’m...I’m glad. I guess.”

Aislinn North nodded stiffly. "When I feel like it." she agreed. Tossing a look around the target range she stood there, the tension drained from her for once. "Aye, suppose that's probably enough practice for one day." she muttered under her breath.

Cravendy Hound: “Maybe next time I can actually ‘it my mark, prove that I’m not an embarrassment to my kind.” Cravs dryly jokes. She shoots Lin a look and then turns to head back to Heartwood. So much to work on...they’d take it one step at a time.

(Aislinn North) ((Well this RP honestly goes a long way to setting Lin back on track xD)) (Cravendy Hound) nice!!! )) (Cravendy Hound) don't bottle it up!! )) (Aislinn North) ((She has bad habits)) (Cravendy Hound) these two are so different and yet so alike haha )) (Cravendy Hound) THIS...was fun. I had fun :D )) (Cravendy Hound) ANGERY )) (Aislinn North) ((hehe, so true! It should be interesting to see how this evolves. But thank you for the dramatic RP! Yes, most definitely fun!!))

[homenum-revelio-hq]

Welcome to the Order of the Phoenix, Kait!

You have been accepted for the role of ANNALISE FAWLEY! We loved your thoughts on the very Hufflepuff nature of Annalise’s loyalty-fueled treachery and all the details you gave of her “normal” life before she lost her sister, and can’t wait to see all the trouble she’s going to cause for the Order. We’re so excited to have you join us!

Please take a look at the new member checklist and send in your account within 24 hours! Thank you for joining the fight against Voldemort!

OUT OF CHARACTER:

NAME & PRONOUNS: Kait, she/hers

AGE: 25+

TIMEZONE: EST

ACTIVITY LEVEL: I’m returning to in-person work after 3+ months of WFH, so I can’t say with absolute certainty what my activity will be, but I’ll definitely be able to post every couple of days at least!

ANYTHING ELSE: No triggers. I have a bit of rp experience, in a similarly character-focused, literate marauders rp.

CHARACTER DETAILS:

NAME: Annalise Fawley

AGE: 23

GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY: female, she/hers, identifies as straight

BLOOD STATUS: Pureblood

HOUSE ALUMNI: Hufflepuff

ANY CHANGES: Nope!

CHARACTER BACKGROUND:

PERSONALITY:

Everyone knows Annalise—she’s one of the many Fawley cousins, a cheerful former Hufflepuff, a familiar face at pureblood soirees. But not all that many people really know her. Very few know that she’s good at sketching but definitely can’t paint. Or that she’s an excellent liar, even if she almost never uses that skill. That she often feels shy when she has to meet new people. That she doesn’t have a temper, but she does hold grudges like nobody’s business.

A relatively private person, Annalise has always been content to live a simple life, compared to many other pureblood women. She’s happy with her flat and her job and her friends. She adores her sprawling family— anywhere she turns, she can find a familiar face. And she delights in the social whirl of pureblood society— the beautiful dresses and jewels, the gossip, the parties. The fact that she’s never at the centre of that whirlwind is perfectly fine with her.

A sociable extrovert with a touch of shyness, Annalise craves interaction but isn’t always great at making new acquaintances, and her shyness can sometimes make her seem standoffish to strangers. She’s certainly capable of saying the right things—her mother raised her well and she can handle whatever social situations she needs to—you can’t survive long in pureblood society if you don’t know how to hide your thoughts and say the right words. But Annalise has always been most comfortable around people she knows well. And there’s no one closer or more important than family.

While at Hogwarts, Annalise had been sorted into Hufflepuff house, and it had been an absolutely perfect fit. She has always been patient and hard-working; though far from a prodigy in any of her classes, she managed to earn consistently good grades simply by putting the time and the work in applying herself. This has continued into her adult life. Not coming from money, she has worked since finishing school, and even though she’s jumped jobs a few times as she tries to figure out what she wants to do, she’s never had a bad word from an employer.

And of course, loyalty. The Fawleys as a whole tended to value loyalty, especially to family, and Anna was no exception. She never snitched on her sister for stealing a cookie when they were little, never dated a friend’s ex, and she’s always said that she would kill for her family. It had been meant as a figure of speech… but, well…

These traits are the sort that normally define people from her house as cut-and-dry good; there’s a reason Hufflepuff boasts the fewest dark witches and wizards of any house, after all. But after Leina’s death, every one of those values honed in on finding justice for her sister. Annalise has always believed that those in the wrong should be punished, and since she obviously can’t rely on the Ministry to avenge her sister’s death, there was only one choice: become a Death Eater, and make those responsible pay.

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY:

Annalise Fawley was the younger of two daughters. Or, she is the younger. She’s not quite sure. Are you still a younger sister, if the elder has died?

Leina Nott, nee Fawley, had been a year older than Annalise, but when they were small they’d always claimed they were twins. Though there was a difference in height, they had looked similar enough that a stranger probably would have believed them. But more than in appearance, they were as close as twins. The age difference was near enough that Leina didn’t remember a time when Anna hadn’t been around, and when they weren’t visiting the many Fawley cousins scattered around the country, they mainly had each other for company.

The sisters grew apart somewhat as they grew older; Leina having had a year’s head start at Hogwarts, and Annalise being sorted into a different house, meant they didn’t spend quite as much time together as they once had. But they were still close, even if they disagreed at times. Not very long after finishing Hogwarts, Leina became engaged to Josiah Nott. Annalise never quite understood her sister’s decision to marry him; yes, he was wealthy and well-connected, but he wasn’t exactly likeable—not to mention he was so much older than them! But Leina seemed happy enough, and even more so after her son Theodore was born.

The match had been quite a coup for Leina; though the Fawleys were a perfectly respectable family, part of the Sacred 28, and automatic invitees to all the best parties, they weren’t from money. Their branch of the Fawley family tree was one of the less important ones—Annalise’s father Alistair had been the younger son of a younger son several times over, so they’d never had the opulent wealth of many of their peers. But they’d never quite lived in poverty, either. The one thing that the Fawleys were rich in was connections, and through a combination of Hufflepuff work ethic and a touch of nepotism, Alistair worked his way to a high-ranking position at the Ministry, and was able to keep his family comfortably sheltered and clothed and fed. He always made it clear to his daughters that there was nothing shameful about hard work, and he lived that example as he climbed through the ranks.

Annalise’s mother, Calliope, left her own job at the Ministry once her husband began to advance and their daughters were born. She needed the time when she was raising two children—the Fawleys were never quite in a position where they could afford help. These days, though, she has an awful lot of time on her hands. Enough time to have absolutely devoted herself to arranging Leina’s marriage and planning her wedding, and more recently, fussing over her grandson, and pushing prospective husbands in the direction of her younger daughter.

Leina’s murder hit the whole family hard. Family was everything to the Fawleys, and with her death, their family was broken. Alistair has thrown himself into his work, while Calliope has been focusing all her attention on caring for Leina’s child, Theo (and though she’d never say so much to her mother, Annalise hopes it stays that way; she does not have time right now to fend off her mother’s matchmaking.)

Annalise, of course, has been busy. After the initial shock, it wasn’t sadness threatening to overwhelm her; it was anger. These people, these self-proclaimed do-gooders, they’d broken into Leina’s own home and murdered her. Because she’d been in the way. They’d taken her sister’s life and shattered her family, and she was going to make them pay. She was going to burn the Order of the Phoenix to the ground for what they’d done.

OCCUPATION:

For the Fawley girls, there were two options: earn a living, or marry money. Though her parents certainly expect her to marry a pureblood wizard sooner rather than later, they haven’t pressured Annalise too much about this; Leina had made such a good match, after all, that it bought her some leeway. She certainly wasn’t opposed to the idea of marrying well, but she also wanted to actually like the person she married.

So, while her sister opted to marry up, Annalise chose the employment option. She was her father’s daughter, after all, and she was not afraid of hard work. After finishing Hogwarts, she moved through several different jobs, helped here and there by a recommendation from a Fawley relative. She was an assistant for a while, spent a bit of time in the Ministry, and passed one very unpleasant summer waiting tables.

For the past year or so, she’s worked at Twilfitt and Tattings in Diagon Alley. It’s a perfect job: decent wages and commissions, hours that don’t conflict with her social life, and a generous discount on robes (a very useful perk when you don’t have a bottomless Gringotts vault to spend on new dress robes for every party). When she first started, she mostly just worked the cash register, but she’s picked up more responsibilities over time, and has recently started design work as well.

Working in a high-end boutique means that she has very steady contact with all the well-to-do of the wizarding world. As she pointed out when she approached the Order—who knew what sort of conversations she might overhear? And, of course, the revolving parade of customers will make it easy for her to smuggle information back to the Dark Lord, too.

ROLE WITHIN THE ORDER/THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ORDER:

Annalise is filled with grief for her poor sister’s untimely death. She knows that her brother-in-law is almost certainly a Death Eater, and he put Leina in danger by conducting Death Eater business in their home—and now her nephew is left without a mother. She’s determined to help the Order stop the carnage before anyone else can be hurt in the crossfire. And, with her pureblood connections and her job in one of the most upscale stores in Diagon Alley, she is a definite asset to the Order.

As far as the Order is concerned, that is.

Annalise is a wolf in sheep’s clothing—and she makes a very convincing sheep. Wide green eyes filled with tears, insisting that it was that bastard Josiah’s fault that Leina died—that she wanted to help end the war before any other innocent lives were lost. There’s a chance some people might be suspicious, but she is pretty certain most people couldn’t fail to be convinced. Especially when it’s mostly true. She did blame Josiah, for putting her sister in danger in the first place, for not being more careful, for not protecting her. And she did want the war over before anyone else she cared about was murdered. The part she didn’t add was that it was the Order, not the Death Eaters, that she was determined to stop at any cost.

As far as Annalise is concerned, it’s not even that risky a plan. Certainly these cowards are capable of murder—her sister’s grave is testament to that. But she is confident in her ability to convince the Order her intentions are good. She’s always been an excellent liar, after all, able to think quickly on her feet. Yes, she will be the perfect spy, and by the time she’s finished with them, every single one of these courageous and honourable cowards will be dead.

Though her grief and anger are driving her to waste no time in burning the Order to the ground, Annalise has always been a patient woman, and her anger has always been the sort that burns cold and slow. She’s playing a long game, and she can’t get caught before she has found a way to destroy every single one of these people. The Dark Lord doesn’t expect daily intel, or trivial hints about the Order’s day-to-day operations—certainly she is to pass on what information she can without getting caught, but her focus is on rising through the ranks until she can learn valuable information. The type of information that will bring this entire organization to its knees.

SURVIVAL:

So far? She’s survived by not being involved. But her sister wasn’t involved, either, and now she’s dead.

The Order isn’t as ruthless as the Dark Lord and his followers, but Annalise is still going to have to tread very carefully. They clearly are willing to kill, after all. She can’t pass over information that might expose her as a spy—only things that most people in the Order know, or information that she comes across by snooping, that can’t be traced to her. But letting the Dark Lord down could be dangerous, too.

Everything about her position is dangerous; quite aside from the risk of discovery, she could be killed by a Death Eater as easily as anyone else in the Order, since only a handful know she is one of them. And if the worst happens and she’s found out, there’s no telling how much help will come. Though Annalise would never have described herself as a reckless person before, she probably wouldn’t have said that she was overly cautious, either—but she’s going to have to be, now.

RELATIONSHIPS:

Family is the most important relationship, as far as Annalise is concerned. Her parents have both been devastated by Leina’s death, but like Anna, neither are wallowing in it. Her father, always one to lean on the side of emotional unavailability, has retreated into his work, while her mother is devoting herself to caring for her motherless grandson. The three of them don’t really talk to each other anymore—her family has been shattered.

After an initial retreat from public life to mourn her sister and plan her revenge, Annalise has returned to socializing and attending parties. Though most of her thoughts and energy are now devoted to destroying her sister’s killers, the social scene is a good distraction at times when she just can’t take it. An extrovert who is prone to shyness, she’s rarely had close friends outside of her family, so the friendships she’s maintaining are relatively shallow—but it’s easier that way.

Joining the Order gave her a few shocks—in terms of how many people she recognized. The number of purebloods from good families is astonishing. Vanity, Greengrass, Selwyn and Macmillan—these are names she knows, faces she’s seen at parties. The Yaxleys—she knows they are Death Eaters, so what in hell is Branwen doing here? Could she be on the same page as Annalise, or has she actually fallen for the Order’s bullshit?

And the McKinnons—they might not have been quite high society, but she’s still surprised to learn of their involvement. The fact that Marlene is using her family’s house for the Order—that she has werewolves camped right outside—does she not see that she’s putting her family in danger? It’s so selfish! And Alaric—she’d known him at school, they’d been in the same house, and she knew her parents had tried to arrange a match between them. She probably dodged a bludger, there. Learning that he was working with the Order was disappointing—but at least he’s not actually one of them.

Frank Longbottom is a distant cousin, and it’s dreadful to know that there is family here. Does he just not care that they killed Leina? But she’s willing to use that connection to her advantage. After all, the entire extended family shares one value in common: family is important. So of course he’ll look out for her.

She doesn’t recognize Peter Pettigrew or Severus Snape. The names are vaguely familiar, since they were only a few years below her at school, but they’re not even a blip on her radar. The fact that the Dark Lord has other spies in the Order is not known to her—and she certainly wouldn’t have picked Pettigrew as one of them.

At present, she doesn’t know that Lily Evans was the person responsible for her sister’s death. If that fact is revealed to her, it’s going to take all her self-control and willpower to keep her cover and not avenge her sister on the spot.

OOC EXPLORATION:

SHIPS/ANTI-SHIPS: No ships in particular, just chemistry. Honestly, Annalise growing close to anyone in the Order (romantically or platonically) would be fascinating, since she’s only there to see them all dead!

WHAT PRIVILEGES AND BIASES DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE?

Annalise did not come from money, but her family was never poor, either. She is a woman in a patriarchal society, but she is a woman from a well-connected and respectable family. Her bloodline is pure, going back at least a dozen generations. Annalise’s position is unquestionably one of privilege—not extreme luxury and decadence perhaps, but certainly privileged enough that she’s been able to opt out of caring about the war until now. She is aware of her privilege to some degree—knows the value of her connections and status—but she doesn’t really think about it.

While she’s dimly aware of her privilege, she has no concept at all of her biases. She really would consider herself among the more progressive of purebloods. She works for a living, after all, and while she’s never been moved to fight for Muggleborns rights, she’s never actively fought against them either. It’s not like she supports the Dark Lord’s ideology, after all. And while she certainly thinks that any sort of contact with the Muggle world is to be entirely avoided, she’s never felt the urge to go around murdering them for fun.

Certainly she looks down somewhat on Muggleborns, and half-bloods to a lesser extent, but that’s not a bias—it’s just a fact that purebloods are superior. It’s nothing personal! She had plenty of half-blood friends in Hufflepuff, after all. It’s just the way it is. Sure, there are some half-bloods who exceed expectations, but they’re the exception, not the rule. As for certain Muggleborns—well, Annalise has always privately believed that the more talented of that lot probably have some magical blood in their history. Honest-to-goodness talent can’t just spring up out of nowhere.

In the same vein, half-breeds are dangerous and have no business socializing with regular folk. That isn’t bias. It’s fact. Werewolves—they’re wolves! The fact that there is one of their kind in the Order—well, it’s just another nail in the Order’s coffin, as far as she’s concerned.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? The amount of attention and detail that has gone into this rp is incredible. I’m all about worldbuilding and the world you’ve created here is fascinating! I also just love Annalise’s bio—she’s a loyal, hard-working, and patient Hufflepuff, who is channelling that loyalty and hard work and patience into burning the Order to the ground. She’s not fuelled by lust for power or pureblood idealism—this is personal. That’s the most Hufflepuff way to go dark, and I’m here for it. I’m so interested to see how she’ll balance the need to stay under the radar and out of suspicion, with the need to advance and gain access to more information—as well as how she’ll cope as she gets to know people in the Order better. It’s easier to hate all of them when she doesn’t actually know any of them.

PLOT DROP IDEAS (OPTIONAL): I’d definitely like to see information that Annalise passes on, be put to use against the Order. Also, plots that will challenge her and put her in difficult situations—for example, if a Death Eater is taken hostage by the Order, will she be able to risk setting them free?

ANYTHING ELSE? Just that this group looks so great, and I hope you like my app!

[calmedflames]

 ----- OH GOD how do you rp again?? hm anyWAY the name’s ria ( believe no one else mads when they say otherwise ) 22 , in the worst timezone possible and p much always confused !! but i have some probably not helpful info about two precious children under the cut so YAH

『    JAMIE MOON  ||     28     ||       FLOWER SHOP CLERK / BARTENDER     』

 god she’s so pretty i cry BUT ANYWAY y’all ready for some tragic bs story? well get ready. 

so jamie’s adopted ----- ok not as dramatic but like lstn ,, she was born in busan, south korea into a pathetic excuse for a family , cue abusive dad and helpless mom and poor af but like she made peace with it only cause she learned how to shut off her feelings and lived in denial p much

but one day her dad gets an offer from one of his work colleagues to move to the US and be the head of the office there ,, they just have to pay a “small” fee and other expenses like visas and shit but being the idiot that he is , sells off everything they have so that they can move and when they reach washington , there’s nothing --- no office no people ,, nothing

they don’t know the language , have no house , no nothing SO OFC the only logical reason was for him to kill himself and mom followed suit and now our 14 yr old girl has no where to go :) 

jamie now somehow has to learn to live in a new country all by herself ,, fantastic -- but she does... sleeps on benches or finds people here and there who sometimes help her or rob her OH WELL but yeah eventually a store owner takes pity and lets her work for some food and eventually they help put jamie in the system 

YA GIRL GETS ADOPTED BY A RICH ASS FAMILY 

her adoptive parents are nice and all but after her, they adopted another younger child and later had a child of their own so hello insecurities of being kicked out anytime soon 

so eventually she worked and borrowed some money from the fam and moved out and now yeah now she’s just chillin’ 

that’s all i got okay be nice 

oh also lesbian af

  WANTED CONNECTIONS                            

past reflections :  maybe some people she met during the time she lived on the streets ... people who helped her or who she stayed with for a couple of days or someone took advantage or robbed her or whatever 

thicker than blood  :  gimme her two younger siblings thanks 

exes and ohs  :  did someone say ex-girlfriend? yes. 

a (girl) crush  :  someone she likes but is obviously straight but she’s just heart eyes

a (boy) crush  :  some guy she probably dated a while back to make her parents happy but obviously had no future w cause she gay 

regular mistakes  :  ayeee friends w benefits bc who doesn’t want that 

idk man anything you can think of lmk

『    RICK SULLIVAN   ||     37     ||       ANIMAL SHELTER OWNER        』

ok but how cute is he 

imma be honest there’s not much exciting to his background and that has nothing to do with the fact that i literally created this character under peer pressure ( ahem mads ahem ) maybe it does

so he was born in a small town in texas , loving mom and dad and eventually had a little sister who he adores with all his heart and picture perfect family ----- i mean all families have their issues but it was mostly good 

their mom stayed home and looked after the kids and their little farm while their army man dad bravely fought wars 

but ofc , one day the letter of their dad’s death comes and the responsibilities of being the man of the house fall on poor 16 year old rick 

and he did what he could to help out , small odd jobs that earned some money while balancing school and all that ---- but it turned out good , eventually making enough money to take his little family and move to elms and start his own little animal shelter 

BUT SO our boy rick is a simple man , kind , sweet , handsome , helpful , likes to travel ( although has never been anywhere ), likes to paint once a while also is romantic and likes long walks on the beach 

OH ALSO i forgot to mention , the one woman he fell in love with left him at the alter :)) 

so yeah , after that he was a little broken , his sunshine personality took a hit and he went on a drinking binge for a bit but yah mads just hates all of my characters and does this every time 

WANTED CONNECTIONS  

little one  :   his younger sister please , i imagine they have a good relationship but lets talk about it for sure

mother knows best  :  well yeah , his mom , pretty straightforward. she took good care of ‘em as children but also put a lot of pressure on rick’s shoulders at a young age and they’re good for the most part and he’s super protective of her , sometimes annoyingly but in good faith

best buddy  :  everyone needs a best friend you guys

bad habits die hard  :  so like i said , rick is goody two shoes but went in a “bit” of a spiral after the whole wedding thing so probably someone who taught him to drink and become a. as rick would say a “ hardcore baddie ”   ---- god he’s so lame

animal shelter employees  :  who wants to come hang out with cool old man rick and his adorable puppies 

[boystownhq]

[ R-E-S-P-E-C-T Find Out What It Means To Me. On Communication! ]

Recently, I’ve been noticing a trend of people communicating out of character in the vaguest way possible, or alternatively being aggressive to the point of turning people off. I’m here to talk about the happy medium that helps us communicate our wants, goals, and limits. And to remind everyone of a few key things to always keep in mind when writing with other people in a group setting.

There’s also plotting and letting go of plots. Sometimes when you reach out to people, you’re really excited about a plot, and when it starts to play out, things go awry, and it creates a conflict that becomes difficult to deal with IC and we turn to OOC solutions. Character chemistry changes sometimes, or sometimes our writing styles don’t match. That’s OKAY! If you’re not feeling it, all it takes is a quick message. Something like:

YES ✓  “Hey, I’m not really feeling this plot/thread and would like to drop it. Thanks.”

  NO ✘  Immediate unfollow and/or block.

Dropping threads/plots/etc does NOT give anyone the right to treat your fellow writers poorly. Being short with people and getting upset over in-character interactions is not the way to go. IC should never cross over into OOC, and we need to take a step back and really think about what we’re actually upset about. Be concise and specific when you message each other so nothing’s really left up in the air. Please remember that behind each character is a real, imperfect person using this roleplay as a creative outlet. Be patient with each other, avoid taking things personally, and if you can’t mesh well out of character, it’s easy to just bow out of a conversation with common courtesy and leave each other alone before things escalate. I’m going to go over a few points I think we need a refresher on.

Brace yourself, this is a long read, but worth it!

Consent: ALWAYS check in with your RP partners and make sure it’s okay to do something before just writing it, however insignificant it might seem to you. Please do not godmode dialogue, actions, or extensions of said characters (pets, children, parents, or other NPCs they’ve made) unless you’ve asked for permission. When in doubt, ASK to make sure it’s okay!

TAGS and Triggers: Please remember that a character’s actions and viewpoints do NOT reflect the actions and viewpoints of the writer. A little louder for those in the back: IC =/= OOC. We’re in a roleplay with a variety of characters that deal with things like infidelity, internalized homophobia, crime, sex negativity, sex positivity, family issues, race issues, gender norms, gender fluidity and other issues that affect people in the LGBT and POC communities every day. All we ask is that everyone portray these issues respectfully and if you don’t know how to, then please do not attempt to until you’re more educated. Nobody wants to read a mockery of issues we deal with on the daily in real life. While we love seeing diversity, you do NOT need to write about deeper issues to make your character interesting. That being said, don’t take it upon yourself to play blog police. Come to the admin if you see something that’s a cause for concern, and keep in mind that you do NOT have to interact with every character in the RP. We have a list of triggers, please tag them accordingly. As much as we all love seeing steamy aesthetics and faceclaim posts on the dash, please tag NSFW accordingly. Need something added to the list? Please reach out to the admin so we can add it!

SMUT: Sometimes, people bring in FCs that we REALLY like! And maybe you wanna write your character and that character getting together, but consider this: maybe that person doesn’t want to jump right into smut. It can come off as fetishizing if that’s the only thing you ever want to plot or write about. People do NOT owe you an explanation as to why they won’t write smut. Respect that. If your character is aggressively pushing a sexual plot and you are asked to stop OOC, then you need to full-stop. Sex is a sensitive subject, whether you think so or not, and we respect everyone’s boundaries here. We strive for a safe space to write IC and OOC. That doesn’t mean don’t write smut ever, just have full, explicit CONSENT. It’s that easy! Don’t be pushy or borderline creepy about it, because that’s the surefire best way to get unfollowed. Have a question? Come to the admin! You don’t have to tag NSFW, but you can if it’s getting extremely graphic, just out of courtesy.

Plotting: Are you reaching out to plot with someone? Have some ideas ready, don’t rely on the other party to come up with all the ideas. Is someone reaching out to you? Make an effort to bring something to the table, but if you feel pressured into coming up with a plot all on your own, it’s okay to decline if you’re not feeling it. Need help coming up with stuff? Reach out to us! We can help. Just don’t reach out to your peers, say you want to plot, and never come up with a starter or anything, then come back time and again asking for ideas when the other person still doesn’t have any. Not only is that annoying, it’s off-putting and indicative that the rp will rely on one person for the most part. Not cute!

Inclusivity: Don’t be afraid of branching out. Everyone likes writing with friends, and that’s a given, but make a conscious effort to reply to open starters. I understand sometimes people are nervous, but that’s something we need to work through. If you’re nervous approaching someone, consider that they might be nervous to approach, too. Don’t make assumptions about people based on what you see alone. Some people gravitate to certain characters, but that doesn’t mean they won’t interact with you. If I had a nickel for how many times people assume my characters won’t want to interact with theirs when that’s not true at all, I’d have a lot of nickels! Open starters are the best way to get a feel for a character. Be creative in your interactions and the way you invite other characters to interact with yours through starters for best results.

YES ✓  “Hey, a starter from this character I haven’t interacted with, let’s gooo!” NO ✘  Ignore starters because you think they only bubble rp and won’t reply to you. (Open starters are open for a reason!)

Respect Time and Muse: Sometimes, people have muse for certain threads, certain characters, and won’t always get to every single reply they owe. If you feel like there is a problem, too much time has passed, please approach that person because it’s likely they missed a response. Tumblr activity feed can be a little weird, and not everyone uses thread trackers. That’s okay! Again, this is a hobby. That being said, don’t agree to plot if you don’t see yourself following through, and please don’t disregard threads you have with other people. That’s frustrating, and you wouldn’t want the same done to you. Some people might be on sporadically throughout the day, or on for a brief time at night, or even be on all day! Either way, they don’t owe you an explanation as to how they’re using their free time. If it gets to the point where anyone is feeling pigeonholed in a plot, it’s affecting your ability to roleplay your character, and you’ve tried communicating, then reach out to us and we’ll help. Everyone’s got the right to write what they enjoy and progress their character’s development.

He Said She Said: Did you hear something from a third party about a person and now refuse to interact with them IC or OOC because of it? You should probably take a step back and ask yourself if it’s actually true or just hearsay just because someone else didn’t like them for whatever reason. A lot of us have similar or same aliases, but we’re not all the same people. If someone personally does something to you, if you SEE certain behavior, by all means bring it to the admin’s attention. But please don’t spread rumors or buy into unsubstantiated claims. That can be more damaging than you realize. Again, we’re all real people on the other side of the screen. What if it was you being talked about?

Unfollowing vs Blocking: Look, we get it. You’re not gonna mesh with everyone. Sometimes people won’t get a hint, or do things that you just do not agree with fundamentally on an OOC level. We have a no blocking rule because we don’t want anyone feeling left out. If you wish to unfollow a character, that’s not optimal, but allowed, but please respectfully let that mun know so they don’t continue to try interacting. If you have been asked to stop interacting, please respect that so it doesn’t HAVE to escalate to admin intervention. That being said, we are here to help and help keep the peace between everyone, so do reach out to us for any reason. Don’t block people. If it does escalate, reach out to the admin so we can step in. If you want to unfollow someone, be sure it’s not solely because of IC actions.

TL;DR: COMMUNICATE OOC and be respectful to your fellow writers. At the end of the day, nobody wants to feel ignored, disrespected, or passed over, so please don’t be the reason why somebody feels this way. Be inclusive as much as you can, but respect that you won’t mesh with everyone. Don’t spread false rumors. Character chemistry, writing style, or content will vary from character to character and mun to mun. If you have any questions at all, the admin team is here to help! But it’s not that deep, Jay, it’s just RP. YEAH, WELL that’s not an excuse to treat people poorly. We can do better.

[clarkewilliams-blog]

     hey lads!!! i’m reese ( 21, est, they/them ) and this here is clarke. i’ve played too many versions of him but i’ve revamped him a bit here to make him a slightly better player so he can have the contract that would let him fit somewhat into this rp lmao. all you need to know about me is that i fucking love hockey and my og team fucking sucks so all i’ve done for the past five years is love on prospects and watch them develop and ( sometimes ) make it to the nhl. so i apologize in advance for going absolute ham on the details of clarke’s path to the nhl no one cares abt. clarke’s a mix of some of my fav nhl prospects and players which i’ll list at the end if anyone cares. also i don’t really know anything about the rangers besides lundqvist being the king and how to properly pronounce skjei so bear with me here.

     i’m always super excited to play clarke, so let’s get to it!!!

          gregg sulkin. male. he/him.  ／  clarke williams just pulled up blasting high hopes by panic! at the disco — that song is so them! you know, for a twenty-four year old nyr defenseman, i’ve heard they’re really -private, but that they make up for it by being so +easygoing. if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say cold lakewater against sweaty skin, the cool shadows around a spotlight, and an easy smile captured by an unnoticed camera. here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble! ( reese, 21, est, they/them)

THE STORY

--- clarke williams was born on the coldest day of december in a snowstorm, it was only fitting then he would love the cold like nothing else. he fell in love with skating long before he did the sport of hockey : he loved how it made him feel, how exhilarating and freeing it was. when he was eight, he picked up his first hockey stick ( a little LATE by some standards ) and fell in love again.

--- he ascended beyond his peers quickly, driving the game from the blue line even at a young age. his high school made a bid for the coveted state championship TWICE : once his freshman year and again his sophomore year. they never did make it all the way and that’s something he wishes he could have experienced. despite not winning it all, he was noticed by scouts and invited to the tryout camp for the us national team development program. he made the program and finished his last two years of high school with the ntdp in ann arbor, michigan with the u17 and u18 teams, respectively.

--- after his graduation from the program, he was selected in the second round of the 2013 NHL draft, 49th overall to the san jose sharks ( IRONICALLY, that draft pick was originally from the rangers ). he was scouted by the university of north dakota, quinnapiac, and university of minnesota; ultimately, he committed to north dakota, the first school to offer him a scholarship. his freshman year he was selected to team usa at the 18u world juniors where they won gold (2014 u18 wjc), and again his junior year to the 20u world juniors where they won bronze (2016 wjc).

--- the end of his junior year he chose to sign his entry level contract with the sharks instead of finishing his final year at north dakota : they made the frozen four all three years of his tenure, finally winning it all in 2016. it seemed like a fitting time to move on. waiting out the full four years of college and going to free agency had never been on clarke’s mind, the sharks were the ones who’d seen something in him, drafted him, and believed in him — he was always going to sign with them. he finished the 15-16 season on a professional try out with the sharks’ ahl team, the san jose barracuda.

—- the next season (16-17) he played for the barracuda and was called up at the end of the season when injuries plagued the team. he played well during the playoffs but was held to no points and the next season despite his best efforts, he was sent down to the barracuda halfway through training camp. that season (17-18) he was called up in january, once again the sharks made playoffs and he played in them, building upon his progress from the season prior. he entered the off-season feeling like he was in a good place and ready to work through the season, determined to make the big club in october.

—- however, that off-season brought chaos. he’d already flown into san jose for training camp when his agent called with news of a trade. clarke was sent to ottawa as one of the many pieces in the erik karlsson trade. but it didn’t end there, he was still packing when news of a second trade hit : he’d been flipped to the new york rangers in exchange for a third round pick.

—- he arrived at rangers training camp with something to prove, determined to show not one but two teams they’d made a mistake in trading him. he still didn’t make the team straight out of camp, but he played a mere three games with the hartford wolfpack before an injury hit the rangers and he got the call to join the big club. determined to not let this opportunity slip through his hands, he played his heart out on the ice, having an impressive breakout season and establishing his place as a talented two-way defenseman. he did not get sent back down that year (18-19).

—- this past off-season, the team took a gamble and signed him to a lengthy contract instead of a bridge deal, 6 years 4.5 AAV. he starts the first year of this contract this upcoming season.

MISC

—- clarke spends his summers in minnesota at his family’s lake house. he 100% has that dumb minnesota energy and posts videos of him wakeboarding all the time. when he’s not training and preparing for the season or playing in da beauty league ( a summer minnesota hockey league ), he’s probably on a boat. he’s most likely just returned to new york very recently.

—- very calm off the ice ; very easy-going and likes to keep things light. it’s his way with dealing with stress and pressure : just pretend it isn’t there and it won’t affect you.— he’s a hella private person but kinda not in an obvious way?? like he doesn’t share much about himself, esp what he’s feeling or even when massive things happen in his life; even his mom doesn’t know a lot of things that happen/happened to him. however, at the same time he’s extremely personable and friendly, which makes it not super obvious to his friends that they don’t really know a ton about him until they really think about it.

— “tough as a junkyard dog” ; “an absolute beast” ; will play injured ( i don’t condone this and no one should but i can’t stop him… ). there’s this large blotchy thing on his neck that kinda looks like a hickey or rash but it’s actually a three a half inch scar he got when he was 16 when a skate slashed his neck. he’s very lucky it didn’t hit his main artery. it runs from about his adam’s apple and extends toward the side of his neck.

—- he lives in an apartment with two of his teammates during the season, it makes the rent a little more reasonable.

—- ain’t no lie, baby. bi bi bi. ( but on the DL obv ).

—- hockey may have been in clarke’s blood; however, his mother knew the merit of clarke being a well-rounded athlete : he ran cross-country and track, played baseball, and lacrosse. he especially excelled at baseball, but he absolutely hated the practices, so his stint with it did not last particular long. but he had a tough competitive streak, doing well in xc and track, and even lacrosse to a degree ( it certainly helped spades with his hand-eye coordination ). he started focuses more on hockey once hitting high school.

—- SEHNSUCHT : it’s a german word that roughly translates to a yearning for the future, and can maybe be considered a rough antonym for nostalgia. it’s rooted in a belief of constant improvement and that perfection is impossible to achieve ( but that it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t strive for it anyway ). it fits will very well ; he’s not one to dwell on the past and is constantly working to improve himself and his game.

—- he really likes being high up, not because of any sense of ego but actually being high up and looking down at things helps him keep things in perspective ( everything is just a small part of each other ).

—- he hates when people worry about him which is real ironic since he worries about everyone else too much ; be it his team, his friends, or family. it comes with being extremely loyal. on the ice he hates to see teammates pushed around and pretty much will always do something about it.

—- he was raised by a single mother and he appreciates her very much #doubleshifting. it’s given him a humble outlook on life and for a while, he worked as a line cook in a diner to help pay for his hockey equipment. he never wanted to make the nhl for the money or fame, he just wanted to make a living playing the sport he loved. the most he’s made the tabloids was when he briefly dated a model/singer ( possible wc??? ) — they broke up after three months: she couldn’t cope with his schedule and said he was distracted from her.

—- he studied aeronautics in college because besides going into the nhl, the one thing he wanted to be was a pilot.

—- there’s this video of brock boeser where he says “y’know” 45 times in a three minute interview and that’s clarke trying to do media. ( like i said, dumb minnesota energy ).

—- PLAYING STYLE : clarke is an excellent two-way defenseman. his most prominent skill is his ability to skate. he’s very quick and evasive and very good on his edges. he’s good at defensive zone exits and capable of jumping up in the rush, and his speed allows him to get back quickly if he needs to. his slapshot finds its way through traffic and he’s looking to get more minutes on the second powerplay on the point. he can throw big hits when necessary and doesn’t hesitate to sacrifice his body to block shots. he’s good muscle on the ice when scrums break out.

—- 6’3” 201 lbs.

—- PLAY COMPARABLES: brendan guhle ( skating ability and speed ), seth jones ( two-way game ), jake mccabe ( physicality ).

—- PERSONALITY COMPARABLES : brock boeser, will borgen, casey mittelstadt ( just... dumb minnesota energy )

if you actually read all that... i’m very impressed and we definitely need to plot. i’m not one for listing wc’s mostly because i’m bad at them. i’ll be back later after my family thing to read intros, plot, and get interacting with you all!! 

oh also fun fact, i also wrote most of this without brady skjei in mind until i went on campfriendly to find contract comparables and i lowkey kinda accidentally made brady skjei huh.

[temptsfate]

CHRISTOPHER LOMBARDI.

RELATION:    SON OF IKE LOMBARDI / BLOOD FAMILY TO DON LOMBARDI

essentially, this is war, and christopher  wants to become more actively involved.

from a young age, christopher was hand-picked and groomed to assist his father as his right-hand. despite his esteemed position in the ranks as JDM’s eldest son/ his job title has been considerably “unofficial”.  this was mainly due to the early age he began to learn the game. As he continued to age, it was clear that no one showed loyalty to THE KING like Christopher, and his father knew it. In the passing years, it’s without question that his father trusts his son more than anyone else in the organization. He’s known as an exclusive "soldier”, especially because of all the “sensitive” jobs JDM has entrusted to him only. The Father and Son have built a long, established agreement that Christopher would work towards the end goal as JDM’s future successor .

Still in his “glorified soldier” rank, thinks he’s ready to officially move up but there are certain recognitions that he hasn’t been given by his Father yet.

AGE, 28 yrs old

What does this character represent to you, if anything?

COMING OF AGE. - proving himself, taking on the world of business and demonstrating he is ready to move forward to an even bigger playpen despite his father’s hesitation. it’s about proving to not only the parent, but also yourself that you can produce results when jumping into the game.

What goals do you have for this character?: 

Exploring how: Chris handles extra workload beyond the usual ( especially in a high pressure time for his Father, and all his inner circle) , and taking some initiative to go the extra mile in his line of work. the nature of rps/progress of character expansion are about as far as the eye can see for my goals and outcomes of this character. Looking for RP interactions that challenge Christopher with a hands-on taste in high roller’s shoes — and how he handles the new found excitement.

                                       —【   R  O  L  E    】—   

 From a young age, Christopher Lombardi has been hand-picked and groomed by his Father so he could grow into the role as his father’s “right hand” — and one day, the future successor who takes over the Royale Hotel, himself. Christopher is/has been significantly active with the Lombardi-Italians alliance.  Though this is a recognized position within the ranks of Miami Beach’s crime scene, Christopher’s prominence is mainly known within the circle, and by some occasional “wannabe-associates”. Christopher is considered an untouchable because of his well-connected status and reputation for fierce loyalty to the Don and JDM. Christopher is also the youngest soldier, but exclusively handles sensitive assignments that are ONLY entrusted to him. 

Christopher handles the grimier side of Miami Beach nightlife: the guy who pays off the cops, arranges escorts for well-heeled guests, catering to players in the high-stakes cabana poker game. running the hotel’s ground game, and other miscellaneous tasks that require the finesse of doing business, and obtaining information that JDM can rely on staying off the record.

Fulfillment. How well do they serve that role? 

Christopher quickly adapted to this life, and continues to remain levelheaded in this fast-paced atmosphere. He has proved to be easy, and natural in the dark waters of this life. He currently struggles with taking a step back from the much more important situations that require one to strategically thinking ahead with precision. Christopher is slowly learning, and in certain cases, these learning experiences may even come at the price of some mistakes.

Personal quote and(or) motto:  Exceptional performers are masterful opportunists, keenly alert to opportunity Reasons behind this motto/quote:

Sex.. Cisgender Male Ethnicity..  Italian

Occupation: Soldier for the Italian Mob in Miami Beach  / GM at the Royale Hotel Lounge (Offically)

Orientation/Sexual preference: Bisexual

Any history behind their sexual orientation?:  doesn’t openly reveal that he’s bisexual - family does not know, as it’s not something widely accepted amongst the family business or values. he first experienced this in a 3-some between another man and a woman (a couple) - when he was 21. Why this sexual choice?: experimental - christopher is a very sexual being at times, and likes to experiment here and there.  Do they believe it's right?: he doesn’t exactly advertise his open-minded sexuality, but doesn’t believe it’s wrong. christopher just knows how to play the game, and knows what not to advocate behind. it’s risky in his family’s line of business. Are they opposed for their sexual choice?: preference for women, and has a specific type when it comes to men.

                           —【  P E R S O N A L I T Y  】—  

Personality:  dynamic, people-person, influential, smooth-talker, do-er/action taker, resourceful, adaptive, impulsive, easily bored, self-serving, sensual, fun-loving, perceptive, impatient, risk-taker, thick-skinned,sense of humor, great at improvising, bad at long term planning, not good at saving money, loyal, energized by fast results/bored by unforeseen challenges, womanizer, experimental, secretive, flirtatious, well-liked by peers and outsiders, takes criticism well, irresponsible at times, inconsiderate, oblivious to the bigger game of the mob life, hedonistic

Most prominent personality trait: Dynamic Best traits of their personality: Influential, Loyal, resourceful and great at improvising, people-person. Worst traits of their personality: Prone to impulsive behavior, and at times - still too distracted by lofty pursuit to keep a firm grip on his agenda. Jung personality test result:  ESTP

Morals(and what they are): Family loyalty - not above dealing drugs, swindling others out of their money, enforcing repayment even if this means carrying out at the expense of others. The few things that count as ‘out of line’ are: sex trafficking, child labor, physical abuse towards defenseless victims

What defines right and wrong for them?: Business is business - no exceptions. He lacks a sense of morality, but upholds family loyalty as the true defining value/basis of his actions. Christopher is smooth in the dark waters of his family business, and ultimately sees their survival as the prime dictator of what is right and wrong.  Do they hold their definitions of right and wrong above other people’s: Only when it comes to repayment of what is owed to him or his family. Nothing personal.

      ………   MENTAL, SPIRITUAL, EMOTIONAL  ………  

Are they logical thinkers(if they have a mentally crippling disease, this is null)?: definitely acts based on logic, than emotions. he can be a little sloppy at times - especially when it comes to spontaneous whims, but knows when NOT to fuck up.

Right brain/left brained?: Left Brained

Good habits: Always extends great hospitality and manners in business deals, unshakable loyalty, never fucks up with ground games/cards and brings his A game when the time calls for it. Never panics under pressure, nor outlashes in ill-tasting behavior/doesn’t burn bridges

Bad habits: He is notorious for being frequently being late to meetings with his Father/other higher ups, occasionally irresponsible in his business dealings (working on it now that he’s going to be more independent), and generally less "together" in his affairs than the rest of his Father and Uncle’s crew.

Zodiac: Leo Alignment(Good/evil/bystander/etc.): True Neutral

What caused their kind of personality to form?(based upon upbringing/social whatnot): Would you say their personality was influenced by their caretakers/guardians?: Yes, mainly his Father, somewhat his Uncle, and the nature of their family business. Do they like their personality?: He gets results. Christopher has always been well-liked in many aspects with business, customers and pursuits. His flirtatious nature has made it easy in the department of sexual endeavors. His influential abilities of persuasion and gregarious energy has made it easy to establish business deals, and connections. He’s used to getting what he wants if he puts his mind to it, on top of maintaining a certain dominance without having to obtain by force or aggression. Christopher can talk his way out of things, even when he messes up a bit. He’s a smooth operator, and certainly can’t complain. He knows he needs to work on being less careless with his impulses, but for him, it’s nothing he can’t fix. Christopher is an ultimate believer of himself, without the narcissism. 

[alliesweetsong]

Peer Pressure Pt. 2

(Continued RP from Here)

“Remember that stress doesn't come from what's going on in your life. It comes from your thoughts about what's going on in your life.” -Andrew J. Bernstein (Warning long post, but worth it!) 

Alyssa lifts a hand and offers a wave at the Rendorei “Evenin Allie. ‘Ow you ‘olding up?” she asks in a curious manner.

There it was again. The question that could be answered truthfully or lied about. Her mind races for a brief instant as she thinks about how to go about answering the question. “Well enough I suppose, a bit worried if I’m being honest. But before that, I thought I should warn you Gareth should be coming to see you about the engagement rings.” she says warmly. Remembering she is a jeweler she had discussed this Gareth and thought it would be neat to get the rings made by a friend.

Alyssa lifts an eyebrow.  "Worried?  What about?"  The concerned look settles into an easy smile though.  "Thanks f'the warnin'.  I'll be ready t'do the work.  More than 'appy to for the two o'you."

Allie smiles warmly and nods. It was nice to know she could give the younger ward some piece of mind. The woman had been through a decent amount herself recently and wanted to help ease some of her own stress if she could. “"I need to talk to you about Raen. What can you tell me about her? Any friends outside of myself, you or Damien? She isn't answering her comm, i sent her a letter and no response from either way. She moved out of her room in a haste and she quit and the pig and whistle..I am concerned for her safety Nobody has seen her since Damien was taken."

Alyssa sighs softly at that, settling back against the stonework and crossing her arms averting her hazel eyed gaze downwards. "Really?  Fuck me I should've kept my 'ounds on 'er. I dropped everythin' once we found Damien. They tracked 'er as far as Raven 'ill.  Can't much count me as a friend in this, if I was I'd 'ave done more. M'not the kind of friend she needs.” 

Allie blinks in shock at the revelation that Alyssa knows someone that also knows Raen.  "Does this friend have a name? I am starting my own investigation, I can't rest until I know she’s okay Alyssa.”

Allie bites her lip and shakes her head inhaling through her nose. She disliked the fact that someone thought they were not good enough. "Oh dear don't say that, she needs all the friends she can get. Any information you can give me helps. did you ever see her with anybody else? I know she did some drugs."

Alyssa maintains her posture on the stonework, lightly shifting her weight she looks at the Rendorei slowly She and I 'ave a mutual friend. 'e 'asn't seen 'er either though.”

Allie blinks in shock at the revelation that Alyssa knows someone that also knows Raen.  "Does this friend have a name? I am starting my own investigation, I can't rest until I know she’s okay Alyssa.”

From there the two went back and forth, Allie pushing hard for  information and the Gilnean dancing around the question as delicately as humanly possible. Not getting the hint, Allie pushed and pushed. Her questions were deliberate if not a bit forced but also nearing desperation. There was a link, and she wanted to know who it was.

Alyssa thinks about it for a moment as a small twitch develops on the corner of her mouth "No."  She offers finally. "F'both your sakes. F'everyone's. You'll just 'ave t'trust me on that."

Allie lightly recoils her head blinking in both shock and horror. Why is she denying her the name? "Alyssa, you can come with me to meet him if that is what you want. Nothing will happen, I just have some questions, please. Raen is a friend of mine. I need to know she’s okay."

“I 'ear you, and I agree.  I want t'know she's okay too.  Not the person you need.” Alyssa replies looking at Allie in a matter-of-fact manner.

Allie felt her heart plummet and her blood boiling, she didn’t have time for games. The high elf could be hurt, she could be getting tortured as they spoke. The very thought caused the rendorei to become nauseous.

Alyssa studies the woman across from her, smile fading a bit. “I know this is important t'you, y'can think what you want of me. M'not givin' the name."

“Open the fel wielder up, her secrets will spill on the floor”

"Yes this is important to me!” Allie says starting to raise her voice, the frustration was clearly evident. “She is one of the only people I have to connect with from home. and she is a friend. I would do the same for you or Damien." She says before rubbing her forehead and exhaling softly "You of all people should understand what it is like to miss home." Allie regretted saying that last part almost instantly, that was a cheap shot at the younger ward and she knew it. But she really needed the Gilnean to understand how serious she was even if it meant getting a demon summoned on her.

Alyssa glares daggers at the void elf. That clearly was the wrong thing to say. "That's low.  My 'ome doesn't exist anymore.  And I 'aven't got your thousand or whatever years t'see it rebuilt or reclaimed." she scowls

Allie bites her lip and puts one hand on her head and the other on her hip letting out a sigh "I am sorry Alyssa..that was wrong of me" she says before shaking her head "I will not stop until she’s found. You are both my friends. I just want to help her I am scared Alyssa. I can't lose anybody else.” she says softly lowering her voice

Alyssa runs fingers through her red hair trying to calm herself as well "Look. I can't give you the name. There are so so many reasons I can't. M'sorry. You will find 'er though, chasin' a dead end lead isn't goin' to make that 'appen."

Allie looks down absolutley heartbroken, never before had she had the feeling of complete and utter helplessness. Biting her lip the void elf nods and shrugs "Thanks Alyssa. Ill uh, keep looking. Gareth should be here tomorrow or tonight I am not sure." she says walking forward to give the woman a hug

The Gilnean embraces Allie in return, frustrated and a bit upset. "M'a disappointin' friend Allie. Don't 'ang your 'opes on me. M'always 'ere t'talk, but m'secrets run too deep f'most to deal with."

Allie lets go of the hug and cups the red heads cheek with her right hand lightly caressing it with her thumb "I have secrets to darling." she says before looking around as if she was about to do something. Refocusing she nods "Ill uh, see if I can find anything." she says softly

Surprised by such a familiar gesture, Alyssa nods remaining still has she looks into the elf’s skye blue eyes. "Allie.  M'just not willin' t'pay the personal cost givin' you that information.  M'sorry again."

Allie backs up as something about the way Alyssa worded that seemed off. Slightly tilting her head to the side the Rendorei folds her arms across the chest. “Is someone threatening to hurt you?” she asks in a curious but very serious manner.

Alyssa bites her lip hard, hard enough in fact that a red blossom can be seen as she carefully considers the question being asked of her. After a long pauses she finally shakes her head “No. Not like that.”

“Then what Alyssa? I promised Damien i would watch over you. What is going on?” Allie replies looking at the Gilnean in a pleading manner.

The statement gets a raised eyebrow from the redheaded warlock. "Did you? Gods below but that brother o'mine is protective. It's delicate. This is a situation I need t'andle m'self. M'not in any danger at the moment though."

Allie looks around and slowly stats backing up towards the door “Come, lets talk.” she says making sure they both weren’t being watch. Something seemed off and she intended to find out.

Alyssa frowns briefly and follows. Although she looked ready to protest she doesn’t and instead lets out a sigh and keeps pace with the Ren’dorei

Sitting down Allie gets comfortable and the two level with each other, Each one telling a dark secret that nobody would know, or could ever know. There was too much in both of their lives for these to ever see the light of day. Of course they debated, and argued, talked and finally argued some more. Each one wanting the same thing but wanted to go about it in different ways. Finally Allie blurts out a question that she think she already knew the answer to, the thought of causing her heart to jump out of her chest. As she began to listen to Alyssa explain her plans the rendorei began pacing around warlock in a focused manner.

"Damien told me there was one man, and one woman. and the woman was shot and killed.." she says looking at the back of Alyssa's head "The day after I came home, He told me the man said if he comes back he would kill everybody”

“'e won't 'ave the chance.” came the almost immediate reply back from Alyssa

Allie growls at that beginning to lose her cool. "Damnit Alyssa, if you know who did this we can protect you, what if Raen is already dead!?"

Alyssa stares at the elf in a stubborn fashion this entire conversation was beginning to become pointless. “ 'e's mine.  I've already paid dearly, morally and emotionally t'get that.  When I 'ave my 'ands on 'im, y'can be certain 'e'll tell me where Raen is” she says in a defiant manner

Allie shakes her head and bites her lip as she moves to pick up her belongings. “I just hope its not too late for her Alyssa.” she says as she heads to the door “Shadows Raen, where are you?” she asks looking up at the ceiling in an exasperated manner. Letting out a sigh she looks over her shoulder at the Gilnean “The day you do it, I want to be there. Let me have atleast that.” she says softly clearly upset at this point.

Alyssa bites her lip once more and looks at Allie “I’ll think about it.” she says softly.

That wasn’t good enough. Allie wanted to say more, to threaten her and to exploit her. To treat her as she had been treated off and on for the last several months. But to do so would mean to betray the warlocks trust, and their friendship and to abandon her promise to be loyal. Nodding instead, Allie grabs the doorknob “Have a good night dear, hope we talk soon.” she says before slowly opening the door. Walking out she could fel the tears falling down her cheek as she slowly closes the door with a soft click. She needed to get somewhere and just cry. Gareth couldn’t see her like that. Serelia, nobody. She had once again, failed someone she looked at as a friend.

Letting her feet carry her over the bridge thoughts raced through her head as she wipes her eyes

“Hello Mrs. Gareth Lyons.” Came the familiar voice of Sikona.

Stopping Allie inhales through her noise and forces the brightest smile she could on her face. “Hello Miss Emberlight.”

To be Continued...

@alyssa-ward @dardillien-ward @earendelduskmourn for mentions @thetobaccoman for vague mentions and relevance @sikonaluvs at the end <3 

[streetxsims]

Haii 💖💖💖 you inspire me to make a s4 account to post my gameplay but i think nobody will like it because im not as good & im mainly maxis. What are some pros&cons of starting a simming account? 💕

Word?? Glad I could be of inspiration haha :) what do you mean not as good?? There’s a lot of people out there who share the same views/taste with you when it comes to MM style, even if you feel your stuff isn’t “good enough” that’s nothing a little practice can’t fix because we all started somewhere, and probably were all trash at 1st LMAO

I have some “getting started” tips here if you wanna check that outOn to some pros/cons - 

Pros:

Great community to express your love of Sims since we all share that 

A place to chill, get to know/talk to people who’re just like you

Easy to find/keep up with new Custom content or CC in general  

People are always helpful when it comes to anything like CC creating, editing, game setup, picture taking, etc. etc 

Freedom of self expression 

Something to do when you’re waiting for your game to load haha 

Very welcoming(emphasis on this) 

Resourceful for not only sim needs but other helpful resources as well 

A place to learn/see things from different perspectives

Different age groups so you’ll easily find yours 

I honestly think Simblr helps a lot with organization that can be used in real life situations such as school, uni, work, etc, etc.  

You can use your art/digital imaging here in Uni/School to build a portfolio for either gaming, interior design, architecture, or graphic design 

A place to be proud of your art/stories/creations when you have nowhere else to do so 

If you’re into Role Playing/Script writing/Character creating/development this place is for you as well 

Cons: 

[Warning: If you suffer from depression/anxiety I feel you shouldn’t use Simblr as an outlet to “escape” unless you mute/block any form of negativity. Simblr is a trigger on some ends and I feel it’s not safe for some of you who’re easily triggered. Your health is more important. Use other forms to escape harsh reality such as reading ,writing, talking to someone, walking, or practicing other healthy hobbies. This is the internet after all, home to triggers.] 

Pressure to be just “as good” as your peers 

Constant debates/fights about things we can’t control

Being outspoken/straightforward is looked at as “rude”, “entitled”, “stuck up”, “mean”, and last but not least “too popular”  

Lack of creativity; working hard on your aesthetic/style and having someone take every aspect of that down to the way you build, talk; the way your characters/sims speak, act, or look just because they see you getting good feedback they feel if they do the same thing they’ll get the same responses. We all are guilty of being inspired but some turn it to an obsession which results in using you as their blueprint; never liking your post or speaking to you but you always see you in their work  

The constant pressure people put on CC creators to give, give, give which makes them aggravated, which causes them to be a little blunt/nonchalant and villainized  by the “victims” who made them react this way lol 

Touching back on the one above: people feeling entitled to how you run/handle your blog. If you don’t help them with a situation that’s not dire/serious, give them attention, or give them what they want you become a topic in a negative light

People try to project things they don’t like about you into someone else’s mind so that person will not “like you” as well lol 

Too much competition/dire need for notes 

People using you to get their name out their 

Lastly: we all are guilty of being easily pulled into drama, having private conversations, bullying, envious mannerisms, and using our RP/Roleplay characters to express personal issues towards others. Cut that out in 2k18.

Hope this helps you outTY for the love as well :) 

[nomadiiccc]

modern verse: now the world

so i had some sudden inspiration to really dig into my modern verse for loki and just...give it some more depth and detail. keep in mind some of these things could change, but i think it’ll be mostly small things that occur to me as i write a little more in this verse and headcanon more in this verse and whatnot. the overarching plot & concepts are pretty set. i’m taking inspo from his canon storyline and just adapting it, as well as adding my own flair.

trigger / content warnings;;

these may be mentioned or explored more in depth in the course of RP ( unless requested or indicated in your rules ), but for sure are listed in the below backstory.

adoption / discovering you’re adopted, strained family dynamics, peer pressure & bullying typical of high school, depression, anxiety, and potentially other mental health issues / disordered thinking, homelessness / couch-surfing, prior drug use & distribution ( prescriptions & ‘party drugs’, not so much IV drugs, but possibly marijuana ), homophobia, drowning / hydrophobia

plot points;;

loki is the second and youngest son of odin and frigga, second-generation icelandic immigrants.

throughout childhood, he remains very close with his brother, thor, only a year older than him, and thor encourages him to hang out with his friends, too, even though thor’s crowd is more the athletic, “popular” group whereas loki is drawn to more of the artsy, “nerdy” group.

in high school, loki participates in both athletic activities ( track: javelin & long-distance, & is on the fencing team ) as well as theatre where he snags a few promising roles leading up to the male lead in the fall play senior year. he also maintains a high GPA, not quite a 4.0, however, because his sharp tongue rubs more than a few teachers the wrong way.

after high school he attends university close to home, allowing him the financial freedom to apply for & be accepted into a Study Abroad program.

...that he doesn’t end up taking because while searching for documents necessary for said program, he finds his adoption certificate in his father’s office. he didn’t know he was adopted until then.

the ensuing fight causes a health scare for odin, and after the immediate danger is over and he’s released from the hospital, loki packs a bag and disappears. he drops out of college, too.

he stays with a friend for awhile until an argument leads to him being asked to leave in no uncertain terms. so begins the several year cycle of couch surfing, often with less than ideal roommates.

one of these living situations is what ultimately leads to the darkest period of his life. in need of money and still too raw to be thinking clearly, he agrees to help with a friend of a friend’s drug operation. it’s mostly prescription meds, but the deeper he gets into it, the more he uncovers: molly, acid, and so on.

at first loki doesn’t touch the drugs -- he just helps with some distribution, recruits some muscle to squeeze some of their delinquent customers, “white collar” stuff. that changes when thor finds him one day. he says it’s to get out of his head for the night, and he’s right about that for awhile. until he’s not. and it escalates until at his highest point he’s using uppers daily to get out of bed and downers to get back into it in a vicious cycle.

it takes six years after discovering his adoption before he’s scared enough to stop. one of their street dealers is arrested, but he doesn’t snitch on anyone else and the cops never get any further with investigating, diverting their limited resources elsewhere.

the next year loki spends weaning himself off the pills and getting his life back in order, eventually finding a surprisingly well-paid job doing marketing and social media for a local chain of bookstores. he’s not crazy about interacting with people, but he’s actually damn good at it.

prompted by a program through his company, he decides to go back to school, this time declaring a major in comparative literature, along with a minor in marketing. ( this is probably where i’ll put the bulk of his interactions in this verse, as he’s in school the second time. it could be anywhere from just after he goes back clear up to graduation. )

while in school he moves down to more of a part time schedule at work while remaining a salaried employee as long as the work he does continues to meet their standards. it can get dicey during exams, but loki juggles it well.

important info / headcanons;;

despite his drug use, loki does not consider himself an addict, and does not follow a program to stay clean. it’s purely by his own volition, meaning he could use again, but he wouldn’t call it a ‘relapse’ or necessarily see anything wrong with it.

his relationship with thor is still pretty fractured, but he does keep in touch on social media and calls for holidays and birthdays. he DOES NOT speak to his parents. he does not attend family gatherings, especially not during the holidays..

as a show of good faith towards thor, he’s planning on attending his wedding coming up soon. ( to jane? to sif? to another as-of-yet unspecified woman? idk, we can coordinate if you have a preference. )

not important, really, but he has several tattoos and a few piercings, listed in more detail here. the more obvious ones are the green tree python that covers most of his left arm almost to his wrist, a raven tattoo on his right arm down his elbow, and the wings on his ankles. he usually wears a small black or gold ring in his right nostril, and has small gauges in both ears.

he was actually on a swim team in middle school, but after some ‘gentle bullying’ ended in him almost drowning, he very rarely gets into a swimming pool at all, and won’t go further than he can still touch the bottom. he won’t swim anywhere where he can’t see the bottom, either.

loki may not use pills anymore, but he does occasionally smoke pot to wind down after a long day, or to help him sleep when his brain won’t shut up. i guess i’ll have to research exactly where all it’s legal, because i’m thinking it’s legalized where he’s at, but i plan to keep the exact location flexible and dependent on the muse we’re interacting with. he also drinks, but not super regularly and not typically to excess.

loki’s age will most likely be late twenties/early thirties for this verse. i’ll specify in individual threads if it feels relevant or noteworthy.